#I’m having a day
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*turns chair around and sits backwards, facing the audience*
Hey kids, we’re having a lot of fun here, but remember:
If you’re scanning a part of a book to go in a file you WILL NEED TO REVISIT someday, like,
say,
6 years later, (today),
make a note of what that book is. Please. Just scan the title page and make that page 1 of your scan. Or write the info in the margin. Something. ANYTHING.
Also don’t just throw a bunch of loose papers in a massive file; they WILL get mixed up and you will regret it so much.
#I’m having a DAY#it’s not that bad I think I’ve gotten most things sorted and named#but we’re going to do better from here on out#elenchus chats
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what if i said i was considering not writing anymore
#i’m having a DAY#i’m being dramatic but#there’s just so so so so SO many reasons why i want to stop
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Would be pretty cool if Linda Hamilton was joining the cast to play Billy’s mom who is a government agent that seized his body and found a way to revive him (and keep him out of Hawkins and out of Vecna’s view so even he believes he’s dead)
She was in the Terminator and Billy was dressed as the Terminator at the Halloween party. It would be a cool parallel and make a little sense since the duffers said “no new faces” so she could just be an already existing character who got older over the years
However no because the duffers hate us so ignore me
(It just doesn’t make much sense that the government even let Billy be buried in the first place without keeping his body for experiments. The mind flayer literally used him as its primary host and they just…let him go in a casket…? To decompose without further analysis? Not even gonna quarantine his body to make sure it’s not full of contagions that could hurt people? Just gonna let him go to the morgue? Idk. Idk. IGNORE ME)
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Lightly stabbed myself in the thumb at work but idk where the bandaids are so this is my solution until the boss finishes his meeting:
Paper towel and painters tape.
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ah yes, the overwhelming feeling that everyone hates me. just what i needed today
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Deeply infiltrating endometriosis is so funny bc one moment you’re on the floor writhing in pain after passing out, feeling your insides rupture while you’re cold sweating and gasping in pain, and the next moment you’re back on your feet pretending nothing happened at all ✌🏼😗
#I’m having a DAY#like something is wrrrong lmao but also#nothing to do about it except survive so#endometriosis#deep infiltrating endometriosis#pcos#could be a cyst too but idk doesn’t feel like it#the placement is weird but they did remove endo there during the surgery so#like under my ribs on the sides? idk man
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It’s… very hard to do things or exist in ways that are like. For my comfort because autism, which are different or even opposite to the way that society would want me to be, and also from the way I HAD been because I used to just. Force myself to do things and be how society wanted.
Because like. People want me to justify myself for it. And not everyone would accept me saying I’m autistic because I don’t have (or WANT, for that matter) an official diagnosis.
For example. I don’t go out much, and certainly don’t work, for two main reasons:
1) I refuse to drive because it takes too much attention in too many ways all at once and is just fucking terrifying and I don’t do great in cars even as a passenger, and I currently live in a suburb where it is required of me to drive to get to anywhere because public transit here fucking sucks
and
2) I refuse to wear a bra or anything under my shirt because sensory stuff and overheating issues and my tits are big enough that this is a problem if I need to be perceived as being socially acceptable which is… basically always.
But of course I just get “do it anyway because we all have to”. Meanwhile I had a multi-year long recovery from terrible burnout from doing all the stuff I’m “supposed to” when I’m not accommodating to what I need in these ways (and more).
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you should totally take a break! you’re an awesome creator, and i do really love your designs, ideas, and all of that but.. you clearly need one, what you were describing really sounds like burnout to me and if you don’t take a break now it’ll just get worse :(
I mean, a break sounds nice in theory I guess, but here’s the thing. These fankid requests are like, literally everything I do. They are my life
I can’t just not do them, they’re all I do. Like legit, how many drawings of anything other than fankids or other random OCs I’ve created have you seen me make in the past year, or at least since the fall? Barely any!
Not to mention I can barely draw anything else anymore. I can’t think of random stuff for characters to be doing that I can draw, I can’t draw anything that isn’t a Cookie anymore, and I don’t have the patience for nice art pieces anymore because I just want to post whatever one thing I’ve drawn instead of having some patience anymore. They’ve ruined me and yet it’s all I am, they’re the only thing I’m good at, it’s all I have. If I don’t draw them then I don’t draw
And also I’ll feel guilty about leaving people’s request to rot in the meantime. I still have a couple requests from last March, nearly a year ago now. I should make people wait longer than I already have?
So basically in conclusion, while taking a break sounds kind of nice, and it’d probably be for the best, I just can’t do that, or rather I won’t
#sorry if it got a little heated#I’m having a day#I know you mean well#I’m glad you like my stuff#fankid#fanchild#answers
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Your f/o loves things about you that your exes only ever saw as flaws
#making this a separate post just in case someone wants to reblog it for their own purposes without any rambling I may do in my own replies#I’m having A Day
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It’s so fun being available to watch the CEO commit hate crimes in realtime only bc a construction crew hit a gas main right next to my school’s science center so I don’t have class or my car keys
#I’m having a Day#when the alarm goes off in the building with all the explody chemicals and radioactive materials you fucking GO ok?#I only have my phone and jacket#didn’t even have breakfast#but also fuck Matt this is ridiculous#exploding hammers
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hmm… might upload early…
#forgot to proof so I started doing that and now I’m finished which sounds great except I forgot I had hair dye on#so that might be a disaster#these chemicals have been on my head for like 90 minutes#it’s supposed to be only 20#I’m having a Day
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It would be so much easier to find jobs if they actually tagged them appropriately. Like yeah, sure, I don’t need experience to be a gynaecological oncologist lemme just apply for that
#I’m having a day#big cry day and it’s unravelled me and my every emotion about life#so now I’m looking for a job and feeling angry#there’s been some good jobs actually but they’ve been too far away :(
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I’m having one of those days where I CANNOT. BELIEVE. ITS CANNON. THAT TIVALI IS CURRENTLY (right now at this moment) HAPPY AND TOGETHER
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“Oh, he’s so scary 😱 to Oh, he’s so scary 😏” this, “to you he’s an eldritch horror, to me he’s my boyfriend” that. Yeah, we’ll have you thought about how he’s actually MY terrifying, incomprehensible, Frankenstein-Esque horrific entity?? Uh-huh! Yeah! Monster fucker home wrecking is real and you will not be the bearer of destruction in MY humble abode, you virgin blooded worm.
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Okay so I have a question… what happened to Eddie’s van?
He left the trailer in a cloud of dust and then it just disappeared… Where did it go? Did he park it somewhere and walk to Rick’s so no one would spot it and be like “he’s in there”? Did he drive it into the lake?
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I want to start experimenting with minor and hyper-specific curses.
“Eat shit and die”? Tired, overused, too final. The suffering ends to quickly.
“May every sock you ever wear for the rest of your life feel soggy.”
“I hope everything you eat from now on feels like undercooked egg in your mouth.”
“May you never be able to cut another tag out of your clothes.”
If someone said any of those to me I would be fucking haunted and if any of them worked even a little I would fully breakdown.
#magic#words of torment#minor curses#it occurs to me as I write these that I should maybe go get that spectrum test soon…#it’d be horrible#all i’m saying#tired to wired#i’m having a day#i would cry#whos with me#feels like this would be a thing in Good Omens
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