#I’m gonna be so FR I think I stressed myself out about this so bad I accidentally gave myself a canker sore?? 😭 like seriously

[oleanderspride]

the stupid fuck ass animation class assignment is finally done… May lord almighty have mercy on me

[catch1ngmoths]

Alex w s/o has stretch marks and they’re insecure of it? </3 I have them NSJSJANISJS my mom would point them out at me you don’t have to do it pookie bear ‼️‼️ don’t forgor to drink water and don’t starve yourself or stress yourself!! MWAH LIVE YOU POOKIE BEAR ‼️‼️💋

˚₊‧⁺⋆♱ Tiger stripes ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

Summary: you have have stretch marks and are quite insecure about them; on the contrary, it's one of Alex's favorite physical features about you!

Note: MY BAE! MY BAE! MY BAE!! @billkaulitzsrealgf always makes me giggle and kick my feet fr, I LOVE YOUU🙏 I also have stretch marks on my inner thighs, AND my mom also points them out so I UNDERSTANDDD!! anyways, enjoy :3

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

The first time he noticed them, he stared for a good while. Enough for you to notice. You started to get nervous, thinking he was staring at them in disgust.

When he noticed how uncomfortable and anxious you looked, he immediately felt bad. he looked up at you and smiled softly, “your stretch marks are beautiful cariño.” Alex says softly

You don’t believe him, thinking he’s just saying that because he caught onto your insecurity. “You don’t have to lie Lex, I know they’re not the most flattering..” you say with a nervous smile

He looks exasperated as you say this, looking at you with his mouth slightly parted. “No no! I actually really love them! They’re hot” he says with a playful and dramatic wink.

You laugh and hit his shoulder, making him laugh more. Ever since that day, he always lays where your stretch marks are. If they’re on your thighs, he lays on your thighs. If they’re on your stomach, he lays on your stomach and exc.

When you’re feeling extra insecure, he’ll trace them with his fingers, even littering little kisses on them. When y’all are getting intimate, he’ll kiss them while kissing down your body RAGHHH (⊙_⊙)

He loves tracing them with his fingers while yall are cuddling and shit, like just running his fingers down them in awe. HE LOVES THE WAY THEY FEEL!!

He just loves you so much, he really doesn’t give a fuck how you look or what features you have. He just loves you and thinks anything you hate about yourself or are insecure of makes you even more unique.

If anyone points them out, in a negative way he won’t hesitate to make them shut the hell up. People can insult him all they want but the moment someone insults YOU?? His beloved? Nah he’s pissed

He’d embarrass the FUCK outta the person that insulted you. And the thing is, he wouldn’t even feel bad! He wouldn’t insult the others persons appearance or anything because he doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff but he’d make them wish they just shut their lips

He’d say something like, “are you actually okay? Like genuinely. What makes you think you were cool for pointing that out like it’s a discusting thing? Funny how nobody’s laughing” he’d say, straight faced. THE OTHER PERSONS COOKED

If multiple people online tweet something like that out he’d probably address it on stream, saying something like:

“I wanna just say something before we start stream. People have been commenting on my s/o’s physical appearance and that’s something I’m not gonna tolerate. They’re such an amazing and supportive person. I’m not and will never be okay with that and I wanna make myself really clear when I say that.”

He’d genuinely do anything for you, not really caring what other people think or say because at the end of the day he loves you and that’s all that matters in his eyes!! Bbg loves you SO MUCH!

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

[tea-plantz]

hello! could i request an amity x fem!reader where amity doesn’t get that much time to see reader at school, so she dedicates a weekend for dates and cuddles? tysm have a great day/night!!

Yesss Amity our fav lesbian! I absolutely love getting such sweet requests, and I’m so glad you asked. I wrote this as a straight up fluffshot and it turned out so cute! I’m in love fr

I wasn’t sure whether you wanted s1 Amity or s2/3, therefore I went ahead and picked out my personal cotton candy haired fav, hope that’s fine by you!

She/her for Amity

She/her for reader

-Amity Blight x fem!reader cuddle date-

Amity’s POV:

Ugh this is so annoying! Why does the teacher go on and on about this subject, and why does he talk so slow?! I don’t really know why I bother paying attention anyway, I mean I already know about this stuff because my mom made me study it last year, and it wasn’t even that interesting! Speaking of my mom, she’s been putting a lot of pressure on me lately. Ever since I became my own individual, colored my hair, started hanging out with the people I wanna hang out with, and most importantly: stopped being afraid of her, she’s been more controlling than ever! Mom expects me to put up with all these extra classes and discipline, but I won’t let her get to me. I just wish I could focus on something other than school once in a while… Or someone.

Y/n… I wonder what she’s doing right now.. probably just some boring class as well, haha. I really miss spending quality time with her though, that would be the perfect stress reliever… wait a minute, that’s it! We should do a sleepover! Yes! It’s the perfect thing, and mom won’t be able to bother us either since she’s gone for a couple of days. Welp that settles it! Me and my girl’s gonna spend the entire weekend together, and I’ll show Y/n that I’m an awesome girlfriend. I giggled quietly to myself at the back of the class, imagining what a wonderful end of the week it was going to be, while waiting for that darn bell to scream.

—————————————————————————— Your POV:

I was walking around campus while humming to myself, making my way to my next class. What was it again? Oh right! Beastkeeping! Today, we’re gonna learn how to tame a wild ratworm, how exciting! As I was walking, I suddenly heard someone shouting my name.

“Y/nnnn!!”

Huh? Who could that be? I turned around to find whoever was trying to get my attention. What I saw made me cackle a bit. Amity was running towards me at full speed, before stopping and bending down, hands on her knees while breathing heavily. After she caught her breath she shot up with a wide smile across her face. Such a cutie pie.

“Y/n! I’m so happy I found you!” She said while tucking her hair back behind her ears.

“Hi Amity! Glad to see you too! Now, what’s the rush about?”

“Oh! Well, I’ve been thinking aaand we should maybe I don’t know, do a sleepover this weekend?” Amity said looking a bit nervous, while bouncing on her toes.

“Yes, that’s a great idea! But, don’t you have schoolwork to catch up on? I mean we’ve barely seen each other all week due to your packed schedule.” I answered with a sad expression. I just miss seeing my sweet girl, but I haven’t been able to spend time with her all week, because her mom’s been signing her up for extra classes all over Hexside! Honestly, I feel really bad for her, it must be overwhelming.

“Yeah, I have been focusing an awful lot on my studies haven’t I, haha.. But not anymore! I’m gonna have a talk with my mother, and this time I won’t back down. Plus, she isn’t even going to be home this weekend, because she has an important business conference to attend to, so she won’t be able to bother us! Oh! Maybe we can have a Good with Azura marathon, and perhaps, y’know.. cuddle or something..?”

Amity’s whole face was practically burning up when she asked about that last part (insert tomato Amity) as a nervous smile spread across her face. I could feel my heart flutter as I looked at her with a small blush myself.

“Oh Amity! Of course I wanna spend the weekend with you! It’ll be amazing, gah I can’t wait! *gasp* but I’m running really late right now, see you later, hun!” I practically yelled as I blew her a kiss and ran away.

Amity’s POV:

She said yes! Aaah I’m so excited! Oh my Titan, I have to get home and get everything ready! I’ve gotta make sure that everything is absolutely perfect!

——————————————————————————

Your POV:

Whoof that was a seriously chaotic class. One student even almost got eaten by a ratworm, but alas me and Viney got it under control, thankfully. Oh that’s right! I have a date with Amity now! Is it even a date? Is it okey for me to consider it one..? Meh, it’s probably fine, like come, on we’re dating anyway!

~time skip to Amity’s house~

*ding dong*

I stood there waiting for one of the Blights to open the door as I placed my hands behind my back. Suddenly, the door swung open as Edric and Emira leaned on the doorframe, smirking as always.

“Y/n! Hi girl, how’s it hanging?” Emira said as she gave me an high five.

“Hi Emira! Lovely seeing you both, and I’m doing fine.” I replied with a closed eye smile.

“Hey mittens! Your girlfriend is here!” Edric shouted as he playfully winked at me.

Moments later we all heard the pitter patter of footsteps running down the stairs, before Amity herself appeared in the doorway with a tomato face.

“Edric! I told you to stop being embarrassing in front of-“

“In front of Y/n? Yeah I know, and I guess pet names are reserved only for your special girl here.” Edric said with a smug look as he and Emira leaned on a grumpy looking Amity who was busy hiding her face in her hands, which was practically burning up at this point.

“I hate you guys” she said with a sour tone.

“Love you too, Mittens!” The twins shouted in sync before walking away, laughing.

“Ugh, I swear those two do irritate me on purpose. Anyhow, Y/n hi! I’m so glad you could make it!” Amity said as she gave me a hug.

“I’m glad I could make it too, sweetie! Now, are ya ready for some Good witch Azura!?”

“Haha yeah I am, come on let’s go”

——————————————————————————

Amity’s POV:

Me and Y/n went up to my room which I had personally prepared with a bunch of blankets, snacks and pillows. As we entered I could hear Y/n let out a small gasp before turning to me with that adorable smile.

“You did all this? Wow! You’re just the best, Amity! This is gonna be so much fun!”

She’s just the cutest sometimes.

“Heh yeah! Now sit down N/n while I pop the disk in” (I’m not really sure how TVs and stuff work on the Boiling Isles, but let’s just pretend they work like on earth for the sake of the story)

I grabbed the remote before sitting down beside my girlfriend, who quickly cuddled up to me. I could feel my body stiffening up as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Carefully, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder before looking down at her, but to my surprise she was already up looking at me with that expression.

“W-what?” I asked.

“You’re blushiiiing” she said in a singing voice while leaning closer to my face.

“I- uh, no?” I said even though it sounded more like a question than an answer.

“Let’s just watch the movie” I finished, looking away feeling embarrassed.

“Sure, what ever you say mittensss”

“Stop it”

——————————————————————————

It’s been a couple of hours and we we’re currently on the third movie. I could feel my eyes starting to become heavy as I struggled a bit to stay awake. Then I suddenly heard a gentle snore coming from Y/n. Huh? My eyes wandered over to the h/c girl peacefully snoring away in my lap. Awww she fell asleep, and she looks absolutely adorable! I could feel my cheeks heat up as I carefully bent down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Then, I slowly lifted her a bit, being careful not to hurt her, before laying down beside her. Wow, she truly is beautiful I thought to myself as I rested by her side, taking my time studying her face. I’m so lucky to have someone like her in my life, I said in my mind while hugging her close to me.

“I love you, Y/n” I whispered before closing my eyes and drifting of, excited to spend the rest of the weekend with the best girl in the whole wide world.

This one took FOREVER to finish! Why the hell did I decide to make it so long?! Anyhow, I truly hope you guys enjoyed!

[xoxitgirl]

seasons + life update

okay guys I’ve been manifesting like crazy and the last time I updated I was at 40 sales? now I’m at 49, my last 4-5 sales were all $120+ so long story short im getting better at manufacturing my clothes, I started making custom tags too so I feel unstoppable when it comes to designing and fashion rn. i learned how to sew furs, pleat, tunisian crochet, and im thinking ab more but it’s becoming like second nature. im manifesting my fav creator purchases from me too and tell me why her friends stylist reached out to me like wtf im not settling until my fav buys directly from me tho. also I was talking ab relationship stuff, me and my bf will be together for 5 years this month!! and everything’s going better than I ever expected I’m pretty sure were gonna move out within the next 9 months too so im likeee 🥺 yay. I also have a new source of income which CAME OUT OF NOWHERE so I feel like money is infinite fr cause I never run out (,: this challenge kinda morphed into my way of life and disciplined the way I view myself I would highly recommend checking out the original seasons challenge post. and to be transparent, as I have the belief that everything works out in my favor, there are still instances here and there that have reminded me that im human and life is all about learning from your mistakes to make you into a better version of yourself and thats what ive been really accepting lately like “bad” shit isn’t inherently bad. (only speaking for specific circumstances!!! like i scratched my car n it was so stressful but it taught me to be more careful and not rush anything ever) everything is happening in my life so I can be a world renowned designer and have this lifestyle yet smell the roses along the way. keep in mind: this mindset isn’t a one-size-fits-all. I wanted to post this to be helpful/update like I said I would two month ago lol ill have another mini challenge out soon. without making it girl none of this would’ve happened so im eternally grateful for you guys as well.

never settle for less than what you dreamed of.

[chokchokk]

Hi! Can I request for mafia/badboy/CEO domSanHwa x freader smut? I’m not sure what you’re comfortable with so just make it freaky and write what you’re comfortable with and leave out those you are not okay with!!

Was thinking about: daddy kink, mirror sex, breeding and bulge kink, choking, voyeur, exhibitionism, dirty talk, slight hair pulling??, any other freaking things you wanna add~

dearest anon, when i got this request i smashed my fist into the desk because HOW DID YOU KNOW i am trying to rewrite my mafiateez-series because i just love the concept of criminials!ateez so muchthatihavebeentryingto— *inhales*

i know you don’t know but i am making this canon now LMAO!!!

and tbfh with ya i do not have a daddy kink LMAO but you phrased it so kindly, yet you asked for freaky so i really hammered down on that one (youre welcome.) hope you get your thirst quenched!

here's the link to read "serve time" !! if you want find out more about the series, click to read more :)

to be honest, i spent my whole life making fun of the western sexy man bad boy mafia-trope ok. LMAO sue me

as a sucker for korean noir, i just appreciate/love the angsty, gritty and morally scratchy reality of kkangpae/geondal (= korean gangsters), and that world portrayed in korean media a titsy tiny bit more.... lol

inspiration for this series over all would be "nameless gangster" (yoon jongbin) and "new world" (park hoon-jong) but only for my characterisation for the teez boys

there's always been a little lack of strong female characters in these movies and while i do understand where that comes from, i wanted to explore the morality and ethics a woman could stand for in an industry like this without being too much of a femme fatale? i think i do tend to write for a more dominant, cheeky fem!reader, but yeah!!!

i had this one in my drafts since june 30, with my mafia series i had on ao3 being posted idk when i started with writing for ateez this year and i just?? idk kinda held myself back from wanting to really take myself serious because i fr just wanted to make fun of the trope lmao....... now i'm here having written 15k+ words so uh. yeah look at me now right

that being said, my main influence is having read bai, aka @/hwaightme's mafia!gangster!seonghwa fic "bang bang" AND I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH LMAO BECAUSE UH? it might actually be tattooed into my brain idk. IT'S JUST SO AMAZING? and fulfills every little dream of mine to have a woman-centred mafia noir movie. UGH.

anyhowww korean culture!

i used a bunch of proverbs which will kinda become important but ill make very clear when you can or when you don't have to pay attention so dont worry LMAO !!!!

with the help of my irl friends, i have tried to make the honorifics sound more natural and will provide you a list now to kinda guide you through it (it's not THAT complex tho tbh.)

this is only for chapter 1, i dunno exactly how it's gonna be like for chapter 2 !!!

"teacher" = "seu-nim" to refer a buddhist monk

"brother" = "hyung-nim" to refer to older male, in this context used to express that san is a mafiaboss who speeaks highly of seonghwa ("hyungnim" is also used to address mafiabosses)

"baby" is honestly a standalone? the equal would be "aga" or "jagiya" but i think mafiaboss!san means it as like baby baby, so "aga" (the cuter version of "aegi")

"daddy" (LMAO HELP) = "OPPA"???? okay this one still has me baffled but it will not be that relevant anyway. we did think of this as.... oppa tho. like it has the same implications at least LMAOOO

[what-if-nct]

please

PLEASE

PLEASE

PLEASE

PLEASEEEEEEEE HELP MEEEE

i went to the clinic and they did a pregnancy test and it came back positive-

GOD DAMN YOU MINHO- /j

but nah fr i’m freaking out rn please please please what should i do- idk if i wanna discontinue it, like what if i feel like shit afterwards? what if i get second thoughts? like the thought of deleting a baby makes me feel horrible, but at the same time i’m not ready to have a child-

please what should i do??? i deleted reddit because they were filled with people shaming me for thinking about pregnancy at all wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

my life is officially over at age 18 and now i will become a father… although it is a milestone for me, i’m not sure if i want to do such thing… my parents are gonna kill me, i’m gonna lose my place in college, i’m gonna be outed as a girl, my belly will be large, people are gonna stress me tf out, what should i- AAAAAAAA-

i knew i should of not held shinee’s HARD package (ver.) in my hand now look what happened ejjsjsjsjsjs /j

Okay, Oh gosh I completely understand the worry and panic. I've had a few experiences with pregnancy myself neither made it full term. And you have three very hard choices i know. None of them are really ideal. Keeping the baby is definitely the hardest you risk so much and it's a lifelong commitment and I respect mother's so much cause it is not easy. Then you can carry but give the baby up for adoption. Again just as hard plus having to give the baby up it's still hard. And terminating the baby which so many people see as the easy way out. When it isn't your wrestling between if it's the right thing or if you want to just keep your life the same. I've only had miscarriages and I still think what would have happened or what would I have done if I didn't miscarry. Or are the babies just waiting to be born at the right time. I have a pregnancy scare once a year and I still have no idea what I'd do. I know you're terrified. I can't exactly tell you what you should do. Or what's the best thing to do. But I think you have to weigh all of your cons first, and what is the best decision for your life at this moment. What feels right for you. Really think it through. And I want you to know that if you do choose to terminate , it doesn't make you a bad person. Pregnancy is a lot on the body, it's a lot to go through and I understand if that's the choice you take. You are not a bad person for doing it.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I’m ngl that tiktok thing sent me into an “oh shit have I ever been doxxed” paranoia spiral too LMFAOO I’m just glad I somehow thought to toggle that off because I’ve def clicked on a tiktok link that’s been j floating around (I think on Reddit too omfg imagine a Reddit dude bro catching me watching an edit or sth posted on a subreddit) so if tiktok still notified people of me despite me toggling that off id lose it

Omfg oaeu is gonna cook so hard…..when I was reading this response literally live reaction “reos a cheater???” Then “LMAOOO NAGI” anyways…it’s funny and ironic and mildly like “wtf man” that sae won the poll and he’s probably like (from our povs) the least interesting LMAOOO but the people have spoken ig lowk your sae idea still cooked though I feel like it fits him perfectly….idk like seabird the idea just works with him very well but I am SOOO hyped for the other ones too….

DAMN IM CRYING THATS KINDA SAD??? LMAO???? Reo sitting in a room by himself sth abt that specifically makes me feel bad for him

Gotta gate keep irl Mira lest your rizz leaks out onto here and attracts dudebros /j OK gonna go watch do lmk if anything funky happens or if the notification thing still happens….although with both of us with the switch off id assume not…if it does im fr questioning TikTok’s functionality

LMAO I love how the edits are numbered and also half of the shinah ones being from the same person I was lowk not expecting the audio from the first one to be used with him though LOL but SHINAH looking majestic as ever!!! Also hakyona>>> and INUMAKI I WAS ALSO NOT EXPECTING THIS AUDIO LMAOAOA lowk im actually not sure if I’ve seen this Inumaki one??? Maybe not??? But I’m crying I was fr just thinking “guys it’s the same SHINAH scene in ever edit” REBOOT WHEN need more content for him omg

That cafe would be so hilarious LMAOOO esp w Isagi and Nagi managing I’m crying Hiori behind the camera trying to motion to him like “no no you can’t say that!!” While Rin just ignores him and keeps flaming sae LMAOOO

I fr cried laughing when I read that it’s giving Thomas the train LMAOOOO like bro what kinda aura is that like yeah we’ve got the big cats death anddddddd yup you’re local bullet train

Ok but the chigiri foreshadowing in epinagi has been crazy first hiiragi now himizu?? You’re right I almost forgot that this takes place before current manga so I mean we know he’s still alive and kicking (lmao) right now but I’m fr stressing about the future!! I’m not ready for chigiri downfall omg I’ve gotta mentally prepare myself DHSHS IM NOT READY

- Karasu anon

LMAOAOAO we are in the paranoia spiral together it’s okay but i think we have successfully escaped unscathed and undoxxed 🤩 omg getting outed to a redditor is a nightmare so glad you managed to avoid that!!

TBH THAT WAS REO’S REACTION TOO like uhhh AM i a cheater?? and then aiku brings up nagi and reo’s just like 😐 JFJSJS omg no but agreed our dislike of popular characters came back to bite us in the end 😩 i def think it’ll have a seabird vibe but the opposite almost?? like reader will be a super soccer fan…ooh wait maybe sae will think she likes aiku because aiku is so popular w ladies and reader is bad at flirting but aiku’s like no she obviously likes you bro and sae’s just like no 😒 she doesn’t 😒

NO IT IS REALLY SAD AND IT’S MEANT TO BE SO like he and reader talk for a while and she’s like damn are you lonely and he’s like no i have lots of friends but then she’s like oh rlly because i don’t think a single person down there could be considered your friend 😭 then reo’s all like yeah ok you’re right i have zero friends and then reader’s like nah we’re both wrong you have one 🙂‍↕️ and that’s how they become besties for life 🥹 they’re actually very sweet together ngl peregrine reo and reader getting together would be a good fic all on its own…like a fic of a fic or smth SKFHSJSJ unfortunately her and nagi are very much my favs so reo has 0 chance but they’re honestly very kdrama coded somehow and in the hands of a more normal author they’d definitely be endgame

DBKSDJSJ can’t let my irl self infect online spaces it’ll go too crazy 😩 jkjk ofc…nothing crazy happened on my end i think we’re safe YAYYY

LMAOOO THAT ONE ACCT CARRIESSSS THE YOTD FANDOM so many majestic edits from them literally just scroll through their acct whenever you need edits of literally any of the characters you’ll find a million of them 🤩 shinah is truly the most glorious majestic beautiful man ever AHAHAHAH and omg the inumaki edit pls the audio is crazy but lowkey the beat fits kinda well idm it 😭 no fr shinah has zero seconds of screen time so all of the edits are the same to diff songs but we must take what we can get 😩 i will literally go to my grave praying for a yotd reboot it needs to happen!!

ZANTETSU FR IN HIS THOMAS ERA 😭 pls honestly it fits how goofy he is compared to those three…also i loved the chigiri x zantetsu crossover i rlly love how epinagi takes the time to highlight every character’s strengths instead of just the protag’s (although ofc nagi gets plenty of focus there’s also a lot abt reo chigiri barou and even tabieita + kiyora now) i wish the main story of bllk did that more too!! but then again epinagi chapters are also longer so it’s more content at once which might make it just seem more fluid than the shorter weekly bllk chapters

BRO EPINAGI HAS IT OUT FOR CHIGIRI I’M SHUDDERING and omg not hiiragi 😒 bro better get his act together or his bastard half sister will appear in bllk and bitch slap him before giving otoya a kissy kiss 😘 most female interaction otoya will have had in months bro might actually pass away and freak out more than his sengoku era counterpart will once he finally gets with the reader for good

[causenessus]

OKAY! Now that I have been given the okay to use my degree in yappology-

CLEANING WHEN YOU’RE STRESSED IS SO REAL. Like tmi mayhaps but I have like a 2 yr depression room (at one time it was clean but stuff happened that is not tumblr sanctioned and it reverted back to a depression room 🧍🏻‍♀️) and I got stressed about the first day of school (senior yr I’m gonna throw up guys-) and I just started cleaning it! I did like four loads of laundry and picked up all the trash and folded all my new clothes I got. I made a dent in the room and I was very happy about it lol.

Whenever I have a bad day I too rant to someone, usually it’s my best friend bcs as an only child I don’t have a sibling I can kidnap and force to listen to me and vice versa. So like needing to feel productive when your day has been literally awful??? Real for that!

Like I’m pretty sure I have picture day the same day I’m supposed to get my hair done which makes me want to pull my hair out. Like ONE MORE DAY PLEASE. MY SENIOR PICTURE CANNOT BE ME WITH THIS ORANGEY PINK MESS. PLEASE I’LL CRY. Unfortunately I don’t think they’ll push it back if I ask 🙄 how unreasonable /j

I’M SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO MOTIVATE YOU TO MAKE THINGS!!! THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE AND TWIRL MY HAIR!!! Also not to worry, I love sending long asks so every once in a while if you enjoyed these more will be coming soon to Tumblrs near you <333

I am caring for myself, it’s called rummaging through your account along with (eggy, dodger, hiraethwa <333, honee, and Molly’s accounts). What more self care could I need??? NO BUT REALLY. I am taking care of myself, had myself a little self care shower the other day with face masks and hair masks. You know the works! Mostly because I had to take my nail polish off finally bcs school 😔 (I’m in a culinary tech school and you can’t have nail polish lol) also had a delicious meal bcs school started. We’re making yogurt and granola and then making crepes. The granola was so good- like omg. I added more brown sugar and honey 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Okay enough about me- now onto rambles about your fics bcs they’re delectable.

LOVE NOTES. OMG MY BELOVED….

I LOVE ALL THE LITTLE THINGS THAT LOVE NOTES SUNA DOES FOR HER. LIKE GOD I’VE SEEN WHAT YOU’VE DONE FOR OTHERS. LIKE BARKING. GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE.

FOR ME??? AWHFJSJJFJS I FEEL SO SPECIAL 🥰🥰🥰🥰

I’m gonna be so fr- I love love notes Suna but if I got put in that universe he’s not the one I would go after. Love you pookie but I need Osamu. As a baker I need him. Chef + Baker combo goes so hard like- we would cause so much havoc for Atsumu. Like “Here I made cupcakes you want one?” And he would agree bcs what could sweet little bakery anon have done to them??? PRANK. Osamu and I would be menaces and I feel like love notes Suna (and Sakusa) would wholeheartedly support this.

Wanting to write a story based off one scene in your head? Real. I do that all the time. There’s literally so many ideas floating around in my head (send help I have 15 drafts of ideas and it grows everyday😭😭😭😭🔫)

RAHHH MAKING ART FOR PEOPLE IS JUST SO ROMANTIC. I find it even more romantic when the other person doesn’t know because person A isn’t making the art to get credit or to get ahead in any way with person B they’re doing it because they get so inspired by person B that they have to get their love out somehow. And they want to inspire the people they love. WHEN IS IT MY TURN????

In a completely funny and ironic way when I think of love notes I think of “LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH! EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH!” Like my brain supplies me with that anytime photography is mentioned it’s all I can think of.

FOREHEAD KISS AND FRESH BAKED COOKIES MWAH 🍪🍪🍪🍪

I love you too Ness!!!!! <3333 MAKE SURE TO EAT FOOD AND DRINK WATER!!! AND THIS IS FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO MADE IT THIS FAR IN MY YAPPING!!! -> YOU’RE IMPORTANT AND I LOVE YOU!!! AM I A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET? YES BUT DOES THAT MATTER? NO! You’re worth all the effort and deserve someone who puts effort into you. If no one else tells you they love you today I love you! You’re doing your best, even if you think you’re not. If you only have 40% of your usual effort today to give that means that you still have 100% because you made it through the day. You guys are doing great and eat food, drink water (it’s good for you I promise!) and take a shower or bath to help you decompress. You deserve it. And good night/morning because you deserve one!!! <33333

Thank you for yapping with me <3333 certified yapper clocking out for the day-

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪 <3

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY BAKERY ANON PLEASE YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE OKAY TO USE YOUR DEGREE IN YAPPOLOGY <3 like u worked hard for that degree yk 😔😔 don't let anyone tell u that u can't use it!! BUT ANYWAY I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE I PROMISE IT IS ONLY BECAUSE LAST NIGHT -> TODAY LITERALLY SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE AND TOLD ME TO STAY DOWN </33 BUT I AM BACK AND ALIVE NOW!!

and not tmi at all!! omg i totally get the depression room 😭😭 like my desk is always just a mess of things i cannot be bothered to deal with and then i throw anything else in my closet so i don't have to deal with it and just recently cleaned it out and it was the best feeling in the world!! and ik how hard it can be to like start trying to clean up cluttered rooms when there's so much to do so i'm so proud of you for cleaning it!! stress cleaning is super fun <3 (it being clean and then things happening is so real + GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SENIOR YEAR!! ENJOY YOURSELF <3 DON'T STRESS TOO MUCH ABOUT COLLEGE OR ANYTHING!!! HAVE FUN!! <33 and idk why i'm so stupid but i read "i made a dent in the room" and thought you meant a LITERAL DENT like i fully imagined you [a person with a cookie for a head <3 /pos it's so cute] just sucker punching your wall and leaving a dent LMAOOO)

and aa i'm glad you have a best friend to rant to!! friends are amazing honestly i definitely value friends over family tbh so i think that's just as good as a sibling yk <33

AND PLEASE???? idk i remember for my senior year they literally just used our junior pictures 💀💀 bc i guess their priority was the senior photos yk!! AND AAA ORANGEY PINK HAIR SOUNDS SO PRETTY THOUGH!!!! I HOPE YOUR PICTURE TURNS OUT WELL :(( AND ALSO THAT YOUR HAIR APPOINTMENT GOES WELL!! (😭😭 maybe they have like a retake picture day if u need it??)

I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE LONG ASKS ESPECIALLY FROM YOU BAKERY ANON!! YOU ARE SO SWEET AND I LOVE TO READ AND REPLY TO THESE <33

AND RAHHHH!! i'm so so glad you loved love notes!!! suna is so sweet literally i think about him everyday <3 and then i see irl men and get severely disappointed and depressed </3 but it's okay bc that's what fanfics are for!! (@/yogurtkags tagged me in the most DELECTABLE suna drabble EVER OMG IT LITERALLY GAVE ME BUTTERFLIES but i reblogged it on my sideblog bc i went a little too feral...and not main blog appropriate....so if u want to read it u can either find it on there or i'll definitely find a way to send u the link!! like we can do it like a little smuggle deal where u send me an ask asking for the goods and i send u the link and then u send me another ask telling me u got it and then i delete the post... 😈😈😈 [i have no idea why i'm gatekeeping this fic or why i would do something this convoluted i am just mildly ashamed of my own behavior and reaction that fic ahem...]) AND PLEASE GOING FOR OSAMU IS SO VALID!!! AND THE CHEF X BAKER COMBO IS ACTUALLY SO SO CUTE!!!! <3333 i would die for your guys' prank wars 😭😭 ik that all goes crazy and suna and sakusa would definitely support you!! love notes yn would too <3

THE 15 IDEAS FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD IS SO REAL 😭😭😭 THAT'S ME AND ALL THE LITTLE TINY NOTES I HAVE IN MY NOTES APP THAT ARE JUST SPORADIC NOTES AND COMMENTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE

AND RIGHT IT'S SO ROMANTIC :((( like i don't think i ever find a way to convey this very clearly bc i was so scared to do a lot of pictures yk 😭😭 but that's basically how it was!! like they were both artists and they were both each other's muse <3 like y/n would be taking pictures of people (especially like engagement/couple photos) and be thinking about suna and suna was making art thinking of her <33 aa they're so cute!!!

FOREHEAD KISSES AND FRESH BAKED COOKIES :((( THANK YOU BAKERY ANON I LOVE YOU!! <33

YOU'RE SO SO SWEET BAKERY ANON PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR ENTIRE NOTE ALSO APPLIES TO YOU!!! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF <333 GET ENOUGH REST!! EAT PLENTY!! DRINK WATER!!! LOVE YOURSELF!! AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY <333

[darke15]

Hello, Rhymieeeee!!! @rhymingtree

So sorry i took so long to reblog this, I remember reading it when you reacted and for some reason, I completely forgot to respond 😬

I'm so sorry this took so long 😭😭 but I've decided to procrastinate on all my other responsibilities and now here I am 🙃

Don’t be because I’ve apparently been sitting on this react for a month 😑

Ollie flashbacks are starting to drive me insane. Can't spend too long in a psychopath's brain without being driven into insanity yourself

Fr fr he’s driving me nuts too 

Also I have so many snacks rn so I'm wondering if I'll be crying with a mouthful of sandwich later on in the course of the chapter

Of course you will 😂

How Gonzalez saw everything before it happened and planned for it; he could only be blindsided if (F/N) was in harm’s way. How (F/N) would jump into a fight without a second thought and she wasn’t used to losing.

He could literally be blindsided so easily if you plan it right

And that’s exactly what happened 😈

The fact that Daniel Gonzalez is a fictional man hurts me to my core every day.

Same though 

“Your mission?” “Исправляем свою ошибку.”

I know the Soldier was probably told to say that, but I can hear Bucky's signature sass. Like him saying 'you fucked up and now I have to clean up your messes. You are so fucking annoying. Redheaded asshole.'

Novak gives the Soldier special permission to be sassy when he’s dealing with Oliver Walsh

Zac and Belov were practically slumped over a pair of computers that looked as though they were at least two decades old.

They're working on their Excel spreadsheets

I can hear the dial up internet noise 😂

Shadows danced in your peripheral, their ghostly voices whispered in your ear. They begged and pleaded and screamed for mercy. Their faces stretched into horrified cries. Their bodies marred and mangled by fire and riddled with oozing bullet wounds.

How the hell can anyone find their way back to being sane after all this…

They don’t. That’s the issue 😀

“You slept for over eighteen hours,” he said, pulling back with a low scoff, “How the hell did you manage to wake up cranky?” “I’m talented.”

Me to myself after one week of classes.

Fr fr 

But no honestly how am I so drained after just ONE week back it makes no sense

School suckssssssss 

How is she springing into work mode so quickly SHE ALMOST DIED FUCKIN' TAKE A BREAK

She doesn’t have timeeeeeeeee

GIRL DONT YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO HAMILTON WHEN HE DIDNT TAKE A BREAK

INFIDELITYYY

YOU DON'T SAY NO

Ohhhhhhhh 😈 interesting

well

she already didn't say no to Novak…

👀👀👀 that do be true. She cheatin’ on aftermath?

Ghost is genuinely insane. You know how I know?

She refused to take the nap offer

what kind of person says no to a nap??? In this economy??? Take the damn nap

Fr fr 😂

— “Danny?” you cried, your lungs closing in on themselves as you struggled to breathe, “Mi amor? I’m scared. Stay with me, please?” —

Darke I'm gonna fuckin kill you

Try it. See what happens 😀

WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL INTO THESE WITHOUT ANTICIPATING THE FUCKING FLASHBACKS

Idk you should know better by now 

— He smiled softly, pulling you against him and resting his chin on your head, “I love you.” —

DARKE

WHAT 

Had he misread Walsh from the beginning? Had they been marked for death from the moment he walked aboard their plane?

So many what-ifs of what their lives would be had it not been for Walsh

Ughhhhh got me thinking about more different universes and what everything would have turned out [weston bad guy arc? 👀]

What if there were more of him? What if more Hydra agents were littered among Aftermath’s ranks?

And background checks would be practically useless, because if Walsh had fooled them, anyone could

They’d all look like regular ppl. And the thing is, you wouldn’t be able to tell. If they’re a good Hydra agent [like Alexei and Melina’s family was in BW] you’d never be able to track them back to the source 

Also I don't think reading about people with these kinds of stress levels are helping me with my stress levels

Probably not 😀

“I’ve seen her worse. I’ve seen her better.”

That is now code for: she literally almost died but is still refusing to take naps like a petulant toddler.

We all know that Ghost becomes a child when she’s sleep deprived and hungry 

I keep forgetting that Wraith's reveal was still so recent timeline wise... god reading all this all over again is gonna hurt once it's all completed

Timeline wise, the shit they’ve been through is absolutely wild

Which reminds me I've been thinking about it and I genuinely thought this fic would be finished by the time I graduated my senior year of high school

Ha! It was supposed to be done ages ago…idk if i’m gonna see the end of it 😂

“Damn you,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his lap. Imara set her chin atop his head, holding him close as the smile on his face fell.

I need fanart of this. I will pay with my internal organs to be able to put this image on my wall as a poster.

Yessssssssss 

OOOOH A CONTAINMENT UNIT

😈😈😈

Cut to Peter a few years after this, wreaking havoc in fucking LONDON with Mysterio HAHSHAHA

Gonna give poor jack a heart attack as he gets older

….also got me thinking about nwh and peter and jack’s relationship

Reading this is doing serious damage to my life expectance. This amount of tension is taking a decade off me at most

Pffffft you’re fine

JACK WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

JACK BENNET-DUGAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

😀😀😀

“Have we met before?” the man asked, his head cocking to the side. “Yeah,” Jack growled, “I enjoyed breaking your face in Medellín.” Wraith paused, seemingly taken aback for a moment before Jack’s words sunk in. “Copycat,” he hummed, “Come to finish the job?” “With pleasure.”

See I knwo this is supposed to be thrilling

but mostly my heart is just lurching out of my ribcage

😂😂😂

“You shoulda kept the mask. I can see fear in your eyes. Panic,” Wraith paused with a chuckle, the sound twisted and wicked, “I like it.”

Oh wow... didn't know he was into that sorta thing but I guess it isn't surprising 😏

He’s into the most random things i think

I'm about to throw a tearsoaked sandwich to the wall in a fit of unbridled rage

Don’t do that. The sandwich doesn’t deserve it

Maybe it was Danny’s guiding hand making sure they were safe.

Now I'm genuinely curious about these guys' spirituality

The only confirmed person with a belief system is Boone who's pagan. As far as I know Ghost and most of Alpha One and Two are agnostic atheists, but with that I feel like she still has a spiritual belief system that centers mostly on Danny's everlasting presence in her life

Ari was, at one point, Jewish but I think after what happens between him and his dad he doesn’t practice anymore. Idk where anyone else really sits

You were going to have to send Ollie a message.

Cool what's his email address

Or would you rather go for Jack the Ripper-esque letters written in blood with someone's severed ear in the envelope?

What do you think the near-death, crazed soldier is gonna pick?

MELINA AND NATASHAAAA MY TWO BEST GIRLS

yessssssssss

“So, Walsh knows you’re moving them for him?” This stopped Melina in her tracks. She frowned, glancing up at her in confusion, “Who?” “Walsh,” she repeated herself, watching as the woman’s face never changed, “Ghost.”

SO VERY WELL

😀😀😀

“You? Pft. No. He is the stupid archer and you’re my sister. You’re the coolest.”

nice save babes.

Fr fr 

OH MY WHAT

THE WAY I ALMOST BOUNCED OFF THE FUCKING WALL

GOD IT MUST BE SO FUCKING TENSE HOW SCARED HE MUST BE

I dunno how he didn’t shit his pants on sight

Ghostie's probably lying through her teeth

See, she’s just so good at it that it comes naturally. 

I love how May didn't question the almost ghoulish looking woman coming to talk about the ✨internship✨

I meannnnnnn in nwh she did stick up for the villains and idk if i could let a crazed and homeless willem dafoe into my house. 

Well it's high time I scream at someone to put the pieces together again. This'll be fun.

😈😈😈

I love it when all of Alpha Two gangs up on ghost and starts scolding her like she's a child and they knew she broke something in the living room

And she’s like a cat like 🤷🏼‍♀️

With so much shit going on in the East Coast with Wraith and Ghost and all that, I find myself almost grateful to be so far away from the US

Lol, everything always happens on the coasts

“Funny,” he said with a deadpan, “We don’t usually leave fingerprints.”

No you just leave a fuck ton of collateral damage, which is leagues away from little smudgy fingerprints, you fuckin' psychopath

😂😂😂

Peter is the highlight of the chapter, of course. He almost always is. I'm so curious how the homecoming fight will play out.. and how his relationship with Ghost and Jack will go in the next movies of his storyline. The banter is fun. The angst hurts. I'm all in for it.

Seeeeeeee idk if i wanna finish the homecoming arc, if anything i wanna go back and change a few things but…we’ll see 

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

Every other memory had come so clearly. When he pulled the trigger in Odessa and Inessa. When he trained soldiers and Widows in Siberia.

He could remember the cold in the chamber. The frost bursting and burning through his veins in the darkness.

But there was also heat.

Heat and sand and sun.

It was numbed heat and a blurred face and whispers of a voice that cracked and rasped.

He knew her once.

She knew him too.

They’d made him forget her.

It was too dangerous to remember.

So they made him forget.

They erased her.

But he’d be damned if he didn’t find her again.

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

☞ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ: Oʀɪɢɪɴs

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

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[will-o-the-witch]

Hi! 👋 I’m on anon because I’m shy and my main blog isn’t for witchy stuff anyway but I wanted to ask for some advice. I know it doesn’t quite line up with everything on your blog, but I was still hoping you might be able to help. If not that’s totally fine!

Anyway. Over the last few years, I’ve been trying to get into both witchcraft and Hellenic Polytheism. But, for both, I seem to hit, like, mental blocks??? I’m not even sure how to describe it tbh….

For witchcraft, I believe in a lot of the factors that make it up; like all things having innate energy, places having connections to the past events/people that have been there, that sometimes things just… happen that can’t necessarily be explained, etc. But I can’t seem to find a way to connect it to my life??? Like… I believe these things, but then I feel silly thinking that a tarot deck could really lead me anywhere in answering questions. But at the same time, I’ve gotten tarot readings from other people that have really resonated, so I KNOW tarot isn’t silly. But I can’t seem to connect to witchcraft myself???? And I’m not sure what to do - because I would really like to be able to try to help myself with things and not necessarily rely on others to figure things out. But I myself seem to be the roadblock???? Which makes sense because of my depression and anxiety I guess, but I was just wondering if you had any ideas as to how I could overcome this? Or if you had any similar experiences? Is this internal block normal? Or am I just…. Not meant to practice witchcraft, even though I want to?

As for Hellenic Polytheism, I think the block is internal too tbh now that I think about it. I didn’t grow up in a religious household, so I’ve never really had the experience of believing in a higher power. And I just find myself… wary? I guess is the best term? Of just blindly trusting a higher power. But I also don’t want to believe that there’s just… nothing out there. I would love to believe in a higher power that would love me unconditionally, but I struggle to combine that with Fate and things like that… because I really don’t want to believe that “everything happens for a reason” or whatever. Because horrible things happen and I can’t rationalize why they SHOULD happen, especially if a higher power has the ability to step in and help. I feel closer to the Greek pantheon for personal reasons, but I haven’t been able to truly connect to any God(s) because of my thought processes. But, again, I don’t want to just… give up on higher power(s). Thinking that there’s nothing out there makes me depressed and it just doesn’t feel right anyway.

So…. Yeah. I know that’s a lot. Sorry, I didn’t mean to vent. It kinda just spilled out. I know you can’t just give me a roadmap or a step by step instruction manual on how to do the thing, and I wouldn’t really want you to anyway because I need to do this myself and that is WAY too much pressure to put on you, but any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

I’ll end this long ask by saying that if this is asking too much of you, feel free to just say so and move on. I don’t mean to stress anyone out. That’s not my intention. Your blog is great and I hope you’re having a lovely day. K I’m gonna go now. Bye. 🙈

Hi nonny! 🌻

The good news is I think all of these thoughts and feelings are very normal. It's definitely not a bad thing to wrestle with stuff, that is so much better than blindly accepting whatever you're offered because it means no matter where you land, you'll be stronger in it! No need to feel bad for being a human person. :)

What works for you may not work for someone else and vice versa! There is no rule saying you have to accept blind faith, that everything happens for a reason, or view the Theoi in any personified/literal way you don't feel comfortable with. Honestly when people ask me if I believe in Gd, my first response is "how are you defining Gd?" There is a huge spectrum of religious belief out there ranging from "The Myths are 100% Literal Historical Fact" to "These are fictionalized depictions of real, more nebulous entities" to "Yeah there's no God but what does that have to do with anything?" You gotta find what works for you.

Same goes for divination. You can treat it as a deeply spiritual/metaphysical ritual object if you want to, or it can just be a mundane deck of prompts to help sort your thoughts out. Maybe it's both, depending on what you're doing. There's no wrong answer.

I can't tell you what you believe! That's something you gotta wrestle with and figure out for yourself. Good luck!! :)

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

I Want Us Both to Eat Well

Ao3

Summary: Remy might not be great with self-care, but they've got the 'taking care of Logan' thing down to a science. And Logan can work with that. Content: Overworking, mentions of poor eating/sleeping habits, caretaking, it’s pretty soft overall, nonbinary remy Pairing: Losleep

~

Despite what some may think, Logan didn’t have the most demanding of jobs within the mindscape. He wouldn’t call his work a walk in the park, of course, but when he was largely tasked with matters such as scheduling and memory allocation, versus such things as emotional processing or idea creation, Logan had no plans on complaining.

And Logan’s most complicated job? Even less complaints to be figuratively filled, given it was his favorite.

See, for a good while now, Logan had been dating Remy, a figment of the Imagination created by Roman for a one-time vine gag that somehow managed to get enough permanence for themself to function as their own being. For a bit, they had simply wandered about, teasingly flirting with not only the sides but Thomas himself. Something about Logan must have held their attention however, because soon enough he was the only side being ‘bothered’.

It didn’t take long for the feelings of ‘botherment’ to morph into amusement, which furthermore transformed into affection and soon even love. Remy had made a bad attempt at celestial flirting, and despite the inaccuracies, Logan had greatly appreciated the sentiment.

Appreciated it enough to allow “I love you” to escape both his thoughts and mouth, an acknowledgement that had left the two of them in similar states of shock for a whole ten seconds before Remy was in Logan’s lap and doing their damndest to kiss him breathless.

Remy only became more cemented in the inner workings of Thomas’s mind after that, likely a consequence specifically of how much time they were spending in Logan’s room. They were still a figment, but they were rapidly gaining actual responsibilities, things they had to do or else Thomas would directly suffer. Most were connected to sleeping- making sure the sides were rested, bullying Thomas to bed when needed, lining up memories as appropriate to be saved and stored during REM- but some were simply random, the misc assignments settling onto the not-a-side.

Usually, Remy could manage it all without much issue. They would complain heavily, sure, bemoaning the days when they were a free-spirit with nothing to do, almost sounding like Roman when they spoke of the cruelty of fate that such was the price of love, but as long as Logan was there to hum sympathetically and play with their hair, they were good.

Occasionally however… it was too much. Too many late nights and sleepless mornings convincing others to rest, too many memories to pick between and sort, too many tasks all piling up. Remy would get overwhelmed and end up overworked if no one stopped them in time.

Luckily for Remy… they had Logan.

Figuring out that Remy had hit their breaking point wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, the first step of Logan’s ‘job’ therefore being the most difficult. Remy, for all their bellyaching, didn’t want to be perceived as a slacker or irresponsible with their job. With sunglasses, coffee, and their devil-may-care attitude, they could normally fake being alright for a day or two past actually being alright.

But the facade always cracked in the end, and as soon as it did, Logan was there.

So, the second step, taken once Logan recognized those cracks: eat a good and filling breakfast. This step was especially important, and made the list to remind Logan that a coffee and crofters-covered bagel wouldn’t be sufficient.

Next, Logan went about assigning Remy’s usual tasks to the other sides. To Virgil and Patton, enforcing Thomas’s bedtime. To Janus, memory dealings. To Roman and Remus, whichever various misc tasks Remy had at the time. And top it all off with a lecture to the lot of them to sleep well.

(Logan always expected some resistance on this step, and was always surprised to find none. “If you say they need a break, they need a break.” Virgil said one time with a shrug. “We want to help where we can.”)

Then there came the final step: convincing Remy to take a break. To most, this would be the hardest step. Even when all their work was attended to, Remy would insist they had things to do, that they couldn’t just take a break, especially not one as long as Logan would suggest.

Logan wasn’t ‘most’.

Before Logan entered his room (or, more accurately, his and Remy’s room, the figment not having a place outside of the Imagination and therefore opting to move into Logan’s), he double checked that everything was ready.

Breakfast? Eaten.

Time? Well past noon.

Work? Distributed.

Tie? Loosened.

Shirt? Untucked.

“Hotel? Trivago.” (vocabulary cards!)

Logan let himself into his (now shared) room. Remy was sprawled across his (now shared) bed, flipping through their own notecards- the form memories took when viewed within the logical side’s room. Their sunglasses were set aside on Logan’s (now shared) desk, making it easy for Logan to spot the dark bags beneath their eyes.

They glanced up when Logan entered, cocking an eyebrow as they took in his appearance. “You’ve looked better, babe.” Remy commented lightly, though Logan could hear the concern in their voice. “You here to crash? I can move.”

Logan didn’t answer right away, instead walking over to stand in front of Remy. Before his partner could guess what he was doing, Logan had grabbed the memory cards they were sorting, easily willing them away.

Remy’s eyebrow only raised higher. “Alright, yeah, someone needs to take a nap.”

“And that someone would be you.” Logan replied. “Or, more appropriately, someone needs to take several days to rest.”

Remy chuckled. “You sure about that, sweetheart? I wouldn’t think you’d want me falling behind on work, especially for Thomas’s sake.”

“Your work is being handled, Thomas will be fine.” Logan assured, taking a moment to tenderly tuck some of Remy’s hair behind their ear. Remy’s expression softened at the gesture. “I have taken care of everything for you, save one thing.”

“Oh?” Remy prompted, looking vaguely amused by Logan’s approach. “And what’s that one thing, doll?”

With a smile, Logan settled himself in Remy’s lap, arms wrapping lightly around the back of their neck. “Myself.”

Remy’s brow furrowed at the answer, their concern returning full force. “Log-”

“I have not eaten since breakfast,” he neglected to mention it was a large enough breakfast the lack of lunch hadn’t truly affected him, “I am stressed,” he ignored that the stress was Remy-based, “and my appearance is unkempt;” he pretended this was not a very conscious choice, “therefore, I should be resting, and yet, I am not.”

“You do seem tired…” Remy murmured, one of their hands moving to rest steadily on Logan’s hip while the other gently cupped his cheek. Logan appreciated the moment as long as he could, lazily leaning into Remy’s touch while the overworked figment searched his face for more signs of exhaustion.

Then they squinted at him. “Wait. This isn’t some ploy of yours, is it? ‘Cause no offense hun, but this feels a bit too easy. Normally you go running when I try to stop you from working on bad days.”

“I admit I am usually more… difficult about such matters, but I assure you, my love, this is no ploy. That would imply only I benefit from this situation. I think we both would.”

“Oh? How so?”

Logan’s fingers traced random patterns on Remy’s upper back. “You prefer to see me in good health and enjoy taking care of me. I prefer to see you in good health and know that letting you take care of me will subsequently lead to you being taken care of as well.” He kissed Remy’s forehead. “We both benefit, for the sake of not only ourselves, but each other as well.”

Remy sighed, their attempt at annoyance falling rather flat, in Logan’s opinion. “I can tell you’ve planned this out, babe.” Their hand on Logan’s cheek slipped into his hair, lightly scratching at Logan’s scalp.

The logical side involuntarily let out a content hum at the motion, briefly letting his eyes close as he pressed closer against Remy, their hand now supporting more of his head than Logan was. “Mhm, the plan of self-care? I think it’s a good plan.” Logan partially opened his eyes to catch Remy’s gaze. It was fond and sweet, Remy having clearly been swayed by tired Logan. “Do you think it’s a good plan?”

“Yeah.” Remy agreed softly, Logan grinning as he realized he had ‘won’ (really, they had both won, seeing how desperately Remy needed rest, but for the intents and purposes of this particular situation… Logan had won). “It was a great plan, angel.”

Logan allowed his head to be transferred onto Remy’s shoulder, happily nestling it into the crook of their neck. He could feel as Remy shifted their position, clearly going to lay Logan down on the bed. However, the bed alone would not be enough, Logan locking his arms behind Remy’s neck when they tried to let him go.

“Oh, come on, sugar, I can’t- I need both my hands- oh, alright, fine, if you’re gonna be like that, I’ll make it work.”

It took a couple minutes longer than it might have if Logan had allowed Remy to let go of him, but soon enough Logan was being deposited in a proper pile of blankets and pillows, all packed in together and arranged in the corner of the bed that lined up against the corner of the wall. He released Remy this time, comfortably sinking into the heap.

“I’m happy you’ve deemed this arrangement of your bed more acceptable than the one you yourself made, sweetheart.” Remy teased even as they worked on tucking the pile closer around him. “I’m going to grab lunch now, alright? Don’t go anywhere.”

It was an unnecessary request, given that Logan’s master plan of self-care wouldn’t benefit from him making Remy hunt him down, but the familiarity of it made Logan snort. The blanket-pillow lump had a one hundred percent success-rate with dissuading Logan from escape, no matter the circumstance, but Remy’s consistency in reminding Logan to stay put was endearing every time.

Remy returned within a few minutes, carrying a plate filled with ham and cheese cubes and some bunches of purple grapes. They placed it on part of the bed not overtaken by the plush pile before carefully climbing over it, cautious to not make a mess as they joined Logan. They slid into place behind him with practiced ease, shifting Logan to be more in their lap and against their chest before tucking the blankets back in around them both.

Logan leaned back against Remy as they settled, resting his head at a tilted angle so that he could keep his eyes on Remy. Noticing this, Remy smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Logan’s forehead.

“Alright babe who hasn’t eaten since breakfast, time to eat.” Remy said, tugging the plate closer to them before picking up one of the cubes and offering it to Logan. He let Remy pop it in his mouth, swallowing it while Remy grabbed another morsel of food. The motions were easy and repetitive, and soon enough nearly half the plate was gone.

Breaking the skin on a grape, Logan caught Remy’s wrist as they went to offer him a ham cube. Remy raised an eyebrow. “Darlin’?”

“You need to eat too.” Logan explained, nudging Remy’s hand towards their own face. “I know how you get when you’re busy.”

“Well now you’re not even being subtle.” Remy teased even as they accepted their redirected ham cube. Alternating between themself and Logan, Remy returned to their work of emptying the plate, quickly finishing off what remained of it.

When there was nothing left on the dish, Remy gracelessly pushed it off the bed, Logan well aware they’d pick it up later but still rolling his eyes at the laziness in the gesture.

“Shh, I can hear you thinking, love.” Remy trailed a few kisses down the side of Logan’s face, their arms wrapping snugly around his waist. “It’s my mess, I’ll clean it up later. Don’t worry about it.”

“You could take care of it now though.” Logan argued weakly, already once-more melting into Remy’s hold.

Remy chuckled, peppering more kisses across his chin. “Then I’d have to let go of you, my lovely Lo, and I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon.”

“Mmm, fair point.”

“Plus,” Remy went on as they began to slide into a more horizontal position, laying Logan down with them and briefly releasing his waist so as to move his glasses from his face to the bedside table, “it’s naptime. Someone needs their rest.”

“You.”

“Which one of us is taking care of the other again? You’re the tired one.”

Logan laughed quietly at Remy’s rebuttal, rolling over and nuzzling his face into Remy’s neck. He wasn’t sure when the lights in the room had turned off, but he was fairly certain it had been Remy’s doing. “Fine. I am very tired. So tired I have completely forgotten what to do now. Remind me how to sleep.”

“Dramatic-ass.” Remy’s tone was too soft to match their words. They pressed their cheek against Logan’s hair, their breath as they spoke close enough for Logan to feel its warmth. “You’ve just gotta close your eyes and stop thinking about anything that isn’t your wonderful partner and their wonderful fluffy pile of comfort and relaxation.”

“Sounds easy enough.” Logan dropped a kiss on Remy’s collarbone. “I could do this for days and days and-”

“Shhhh, starlight. Rest.” Remy slowly ran a hand up-and-down Logan’s back, successfully distracting him from his poorly-veiled (but loving) jab at Remy. “Bully me later.”

Logan didn’t respond verbally, opting instead to hum in contentment and snuggle up closer to Remy. There was no way they’d be able to slip out of bed without Logan noticing- not that they’d try, not now, but Logan appreciated the assurance of proximity. Despite not truly being tired, Remy’s warmth and Logan’s relief at knowing they would finally be resting themself were enough to make his eyelids heavy, the idea of sleeping peacefully with his partner too tempting to pass up.

So, yes, Logan did have some difficult duties to attend to, the caretaking of Remy the most complicated of them all. But drifting off happily in Remy’s arms, Logan remained firm in his stance that it was his favorite duty.

[azucanela]

ack anon with the dress hcs here- tysvm for those!! my heart~ ok so another random idea i just needed to share but bakugou/deku/todoroki first frenchie kiss with their s.o. and neither of them have much experience 😖 lots of fluffy awkwardness y'know? idk. again go ahead and add on but don't stress yourself!

FRENCH KISSES WITH THEIR S/O [GN!HEADCANNONS]

[ft. bakugo katsuki, izuku midoriya, todoroki shouto]

SUMMARY: someone decides to bring of french kissing and as expected; its chaotic.

WORD COUNT: french kissing? nothing explicit, very mildly suggestive

WARNINGS: kissing, maybe second hand embarrassment but i doubt it, awkward situations

A/N: my search history is “how to french kiss now” which is the main reason i held off on doing this one ajkshdkjah also this is my first time writing for our boy deku so uhhhh be kind to me, also anon you are now dress anon also i tried something new because i couldn’t bring myself to write full scenarios also i can’t write for midoriya i TRIED BUT I THINK HIS IS BAD

BAKUGO KATSUKI

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

lol this is funny

THIS

this is peak comedy right here

hes gonna be so embarrassed but hes gonna try to act like hes completely unaffected by everything that is going on

i feel like he knows what french kissing is and has definitely thought about french kisses with you but he would never bring it up because it embarrassing for him

he might just randomly try it and place you in a complete state of shock, like y’all are just making out and— whoops would you look at that somehow you two are now french kissing! wonder how that happened... 

if you ask him he will flat out deny you the first time around because he is embarrassed, but keep trying!! after a few attempts he’s gonna claim to be annoyed but it’s actually because he wants to

“Hey Katuski, you know what we should do—”

Bakugou slams the textbook that laid on his lap shut, a sound reverberating through the library the two had gone two, which earned him a strict glare from the librarian seated at the front desk. His eyes narrowed as they look to Y/N, “if you say French kissing, I swear I will break up with you right now.”

Despite his harsh words, Y/N can see the pink blush that dusts his cheeks as they lean forward on their arm, tilting their head at him innocently as they reply, “actually, I was thinking we could go see a movie later.” Their words only worsen the blush on Bakugou’s cheeks, causing him to snap his head away in an attempt to salvage some of his reputation, “but that works too.” 

“Shut up you damn nerd.” The boy grumbles, brows furrowing as he leans back in his seat, looking away as he says, “if it’ll get you to stop asking then I guess we can try it.” Y/N is about to open their mouth to reply but Bakugou quickly adds, “only once though! Damn nerd...”

A grin finds its way onto Y/N’s face and they nod slowly, “great.”

“I hate you.”

honestly i feel like he would lowkey be bad at it the first time around and bakugou is the type of person where if he tries something and isn’t good at it immediately he either avoids this activity entirely or tirelessly works to improve his skill

luckily for you this happens to be a skill that bakugou wants to improve, alot because for some reason you wanted to try this and if he’s not good at it then whats the point

regardless the first time around is like a solid 6.75/10 sorry bakugou oops, you tried, but i feel like he’s already a really like aggressive and like harsh kisser so this is just gonna make things a mess

he can be soft sometimes tho i swear

i feel like he would get good at it after some ~practice~ but even then its a rare occurrence to french kiss with bakugou, its really intimate and he saves it for special occasions or when hes bored lol

IZUKU MIDORIYA

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

THIS ONE

OH YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HIM WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO THIS like apologize, apologize rn for the stress you are about to cause him

if you try to initiate a french kiss with izuku here, you NEED to tell him ahead of time or else things will go south very very fast. he’s going to panic because this is new and he does not understand what is happened oh my-

give him a heads up whenever you want to try something new, so when you pull this while kissing him he’s going to pull away like what a r e you d o i n g 

once you tell him he’s gonna be like let’s do this tomorrow, and then will spend the rest of the day RESEARCHING how to french kiss properly, like he’s on wikihow and everything this boy wants to treat you right and is going to make sure you enjoy it

which is when when y’all finally french kiss he is going to be good at it okay, he’ll learn every strategy possible and then he will be a PRO like you’re probably going to be shocked for a hot minute because wait when did he have the time to get good at this—

you’re definitely his first partner and he had no experience prior to you but he trained himself because going into any anything blind and without a plan places him in a state of distress

this was a PLANNED EVENT it was like a date except without all the date stuff just french kissing, like he texts you “hey lets try that thing you wanted to try...” all shy and stuff like he literally took five minutes to actually send the text, and you are trying to figure out what that thing is because deku do you mean like the coffee shop ?? what ??

you make him specify and he nearly dies but its fine its fine, when he finally gets his point across you’re like okay! cool!

overall its a pretty nice experience, i feel like he would be really gentle with you per usual but it was also probably really awkward like homeboy fr sat you down on the bed and just stared at you with bright red cheeks for like

a really hot minute

Y/N brow raised as they stared at Izuku, who’s eyes had pierced into their head since they’d sat down. Oddly enough, Y/N found his meticulous planning of this to just make the situation more awkward, it had done nothing to relieve the burning sensation in their cheeks. But Y/N had a feeling that only one of them could flustered about this or else everything would fall apart rather quickly. It had also been their idea in the first place so, there was that factor too.

“Are you alright, Izuku—”

“FINE. I—I’m fine, I mean.” He cleared his throat as he sat across from them, his cheeks a bright red color as Y/N tilted their head at his antics.

A small laugh escaped them, “If you don’t want to do this Izuku, we don’t have to.” He’d always been easily flustered, so Y/N couldn’t say his reaction came as a shock, but he’d agreed to it nonetheless just yesterday.

This seemed to bring the boy back to reality as he shook his head, “no... I want to.” He straightened in his seat, looking away from Y/N as he tried to collect himself.

A grin spread across Y/N’s face as they leaned closer to Izuku, “fantastic.” Their words only served to fluster Izuku further, though Y/N could feel their cheeks warming as well. 

“Right.”

french kissing will not be a regular occurrence, izuku feels embarrassed whenever it happens, he gets shy, all around a very rare thing for him that will only occur if you initiate it, but PLEASE let him know ahead of time, he needs to mentally prepare himself

he enjoys it though 

hehe

TODOROKI SHOUTO

HEADCANNONS + MINI SCENARIO

why am i laughing rn

okay but like shouto probably discovers it online entirely by accident or like hears kaminari talking about it and decides he should educate himself because hes fluent in french and knows alot about the culture of france because of all the tutors his father hired so why doesn’t he know what this elusive french kissing his? 

shouto is also fluent in kissing he honestly just really enjoys kissing you, he doesn’t know why but its probably because hes touch starved and just likes intimacy like that but he never really knew how much he liked physical touch until he actually experience it [in a positive way] and also you are SOFT :D

regardless shouto is the one who brings it up and honestly you are gonna be shocked because how did this clueless bb find out about that??? sir??? who is teaching you these things?

“You want to do what?” 

Y/N couldn’t help the shock that flooded them as they stared at their boyfriend, Shouto Todoroki, who sat with his legs crossed before them on the bed as he replied, “French kissing.” The boy in question repeated, tilting his head at them as he watched her reaction.

Y/N shook their head in an attempt to clear their thoughts as they looked back up at him, meeting his eyes, “who taught you about that?” In the past, Y/N had been forced to explain... certain subjects to Shouto because of things he’d overheard in conversations or seen online. Sometimes it was entirely innocent and other times, well it wasn’t. This time around, it seemed Shouto had took it upon himself to learn, rather than asking Y/N. 

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Come his response, brows furrowing at her question, “however, if its not something you’re interested in then—”

“I didn’t say that!” And Y/N couldn’t help how their cheeks warmed at how quickly they cut him off, hands coming to their face in embarrassment.

the internet and unintentionally kaminari, or maybe intentionally 

he doesn’t do any research in fact, he might not even bring it up, next time he sees you in a private space, he’s just gonna start kissing you and you’re probably gonna be like aight bet thats chill this is normal

UNTIL he just grabs your thigh and in the shock your mouth gapes open and SHOUTO STRIKES

honestly i feel like he would be ridiculously good at french kissing for no reason, i don’t know why, i have no explanation, he’s just good at it 

its a talent

of all the boys he is the least embarrassed he has no shame, its just natural curiosity right? whatever happens happens. it is literally so annoying how UNFAZED HE IS

probably really liked it because hes a touchy kinda guy, so this will become a more frequent thing when you two are in private, he just enjoys it 

TAGLISTS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via asks or replies]

[miekasa]

I finally watched jjk0 yesterday and !!!!!!!

Gojo I- 😳 I'm such a simp for this man and there's really nothing I want to do about it apart from feeding that obsession at this point frfr

YUTA !!!!!!! He deserves the world and nothing less why tf is he so sweet and cool and- IF HE CRIES I CRY WITH HIM HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE SAD EVER TF

Todo's priorities >>>>>>>>> He fr is a great character and for some reason I don't see that enough so here's a reminder for everyone, myself included 😤

I mean I can't really leave Toge out can I now 😌 He was so cool in that movie and THAT HIGH FIVE WITH YUTA WAS SO PRECIOUS TOO I WANNA SEE MORE OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP YOUR HONOR 💥👊🏼😡💢

AUs ideas are coming on their own, esp besties Geto and Gojo in university and meeting reader and them teasing each other about their crush and and and- sigh yeah I'll have to add Geto's ass to my character list now 😩

But fr tho why is Gojo so cool and hot I am MAD about it (jk no I'm not plz Gojo marry me on the spot plz I can cook and bake and clean and laugh at your jokes 😫)

1. He’s so….. he’s so. I love him terribly, I’m afraid. He’s annoying, he’s caring, he’s loud, he’s strong, he’s completely insufferable I wanna suffocate him affectionately <333 also the way he keeps collecting special/cursed kids is so fucking funny, Gojo sees a teenager with potential and he’s like oh I’m gonna have to intervene <33 boy dad wanna be cool dad vibes <3

2. Yuuta… he’s my boyfriend now simple <33 his voice was not what I was expecting—but not in a bad way. He’s very pathetic in a precious kind h*t way, I’m into it. Wanna ruffle his hair and stress him out in a good way <33 Im extremely obsessed with him, the way he was just like “Yeah, Maki let’s kill the Zenin clan, or whatever!” Love me a dude who’s ready to cosign murder for his loved ones.

3. Todo is so fantastic to me. He’s so blunt, I love it, and it’s not just mean, it’s earnest. Also, he’s hilarious, so he can do whatever he wants. He seems like he cried watching Moana. 12/10 dude

4. The way I was vibrating in my seat when Toge and Yuuta went on their mission… there was no reason they had to animate Toge like that… he didn’t have to stick his tongue out before he spoke, he didn’t have to do like four backflips in a row, it was personal. Also I haven’t stopped thinking about him just popping his finger back into place… he’s insane… I’m in love. He and Yuuta are very <333 to me. Everytime Yuuta’s internal monologue was like “Oh Toge is so cool,” I was like yeah you’re right <33

5. There are lots of things I don’t Get about Geto, and I don’t really see the hype about him, but I found it entertaining that he was so… lighthearted? Idk if that’s the right word, but I was like yeah I see why he and Gojo would have gotten along. He’s still the bad guy in all my daydreams and aus, and I will not change that </2 sorry to him and Toji who I don’t even know, but it’s my birthright to drag their names through the mud somebody has to be that girl

[grimelven]

If you're still taking asks for the oc meta ask game, 10 and 11 for any (or all) of your main worldstate kiddos? :3

thanks so much for asking! i’ll always have time to talk about my ocs, i’ll do all three cause i love them…

10.) What is your favorite trait regarding your oc? (i’m gonna include physical traits here too, cause why not? …okay, i’m really just hyping myself up here cause i’m the one that designed them and i think they look so pretty)

Bear Mahariel:

-i’d have to say his humor, he’s just like me fr, he goes right to those sarcastic comments and y’all know how the sarcasm responses are in dao, they are so out of pocket it always makes me laugh

-i always draw him with an eyepatch…not cause i can’t draw both eyes correctly, definitely not that…but i’ve come to really love that on him. it was something i did on accident, but it makes him look badass and shows he’s been through hell and back

Alyxandria Hawke:

-she’s annoying and honestly??? love that for her

-physical traits, i love the idea of her being tall as hell. i make her taller than carver and of course she’s annoying about it and of course he HATES it (typical sibling things, that’s how me and my brother are)

-on a personal level though, around the time i started my main world state play through, my knee randomly just started hurting, making it painfully hard to walk. then i found out i something called discoid meniscus, which really freaked me out and got me stressing (yall your boy was really going through it). and because i was so worried about what was going to happen, i may or may not have projected that onto my hawke. so whenever i draw her, i always draw her with a cool lookin leg brace for her knee, kinda as a way to remind myself that like “hey, hawke can do anything, so can you :)” cause i was really worried i’d never be able to walk again. THANKFULLY i can, but apparently not super long distance cause a five minute walk just made my knee act up again idk what i was thinking, that’s on me fr

Arynn lavellan:

-she’s not afraid to speak her mind and i think that’s a good trait for a leader

-physical traits, she’s got scars all over. i love giving my oc’s battle scars and as time goes on in the game, i made sure to keep adding facial scars

-also freckles….i love freckles

11.) What is your least favorite trait regarding your oc? (not including physical traits here cause there’s nothing i dislike other than wishing i made bears eyes blue not purple, but it’s fine, purple’s just as cool)

Bear:

-ugh, he could be nicer, sometimes he was mean just to be mean

Alyxandria:

-when i play da2, i really commit to the blue, purple and red choices. she was purple and there were times i was like “nOooo you can’t say that to people pls-😭😭” so if there was anything i dislike, it’s the moments where i chose purple when i should have chosen blue

Arynn:

-she can be very distrusting of people, but i made that apart of her growth arc. idk why i did that tho cause when she finally starts trusting ppl solas betrays them so my bad-

[meanminyxrd]

punchdrunk but it’s andreil based

hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes. 

anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:

I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one

And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it

And if I died who would’ve cared?

Maybe you would cry sometimes

Maybe you would just be fine

Because I know we weren’t in love

You just wanted to pass the time

(And that was alright)

the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’

I got it bad and I feel so lonely

Thought I wanted love I just wanted you

Now we’re together but you don’t even know me

But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?

uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).

‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.

‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.

Guess I’ll stick around

Being with you is only making me feel

Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been

But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely

I don’t wanna bring it to an end

now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.

I remember feeling so young

Nothing's gonna bring me down

And if you jumped I would’ve followed

All the way down to the bottom

Better days are over now

Everything is slowing down

And you still won’t say it’s love

You just wanna pass the time

Fine

being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.

Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what

I want but I need somebody to be mine

Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up

I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love

I don’t ever wanna wake up

he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.

Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy

Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?

Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?

Do you get high watching me bleed?

(Now I’m bleeding out)

this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?

Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it

'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again

And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*

I don’t want the misery to end

this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.

that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will. 

so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 2: Virgil

(Here we go again! I think I may have less to say about Virgil’s than Janus’, so I’ll try to make this one shorter)

1) Sunrise, Sunset: This ones about Virgil when he was with the darksides. Virgil is beginning to get tired of his life as a darkside and the monotony of it (“sunrise, sunset, swiftly go the days. Sunrise, sunset you wake up then you undress, it always is the same”). He feels like something is changing in him, but doubts that he will ever be able to escape the routine that he’s been living in for so long (“Because you've changed, Yeah, you've changed” “from a cradle to a casket, there is no way to escape” “The sunrise, the sunsets, you're hopeful and then you regret, the circle never breaks”).

2) Let’s Kill Tonight: Some of Virgil songs can be very vague and it can be hard to pinpoint who the song is focused toward (this is one of them). My interpretation of the song is that this takes place during Virgil’s first appearance with the light sides (“Make room we're taking over here” “Show them all you're not the ordinary type”) Perhaps the dark sides were aware of Virgil leaving and so Virgil’s initial view of the light sides was a bit more spiteful and angry than we thought. With this interpretation I like to assume that it was Janus’ plan to let Virgil out, perhaps in an attempt to get all the dark sides accepted, but it backfired when Virgil realized that the light sides weren’t as bad as he was raised to believe.

3) Sally’s Song: After the last song, this song shows Virgil’s realization that perhaps he does want to be with the light sides. He really cares about Thomas and wants to be with him, but he’s worried about whether or not he’ll be helpful and worthy (“And though I'd like to stand by him, Can't shake this feeling that I have” “And will he see? How much he means to me. I think it's not to be” “All though I'd like to join the crowd, In their enthusiastic loud. Try as I may It doesn't last”)

4) It Ends Tonight: Virgil is starting to be accepted, woot woot (“When darkness turns to light, It ends tonight, it ends tonight” “A weight is lifted on this evening”). Virgil seems to start to feel a lot of anger towards the other dark sides at this point. He feels as if he’s been tricked by them and that Thomas needed him all along (“A falling star, at least I fall alone”). He’s now showing anger and frustration towards the dark sides that really hasn’t been prevalent in the playlist up until this point. I think he’s realized that they’ve either been using him, lying to him, or fooling him (“I look at you with such disdain” “Now I'm on my own side, It's better than being on your side”).

5) I’d Hate to be You When People find out What this Song is About: Now that Virgil is with the light sides, he’s worried that he may not be good enough or helpful enough for Thomas (“Well, I'm thinking of the worst things That I could say to you” “But I'm tongue tied and terrified of what I'll say” And I'm sorry that this wasn't easy, When I asked you believe me” “I could only sing you sad songs”). He’s so worried about hurting Thomas because of his dark side origins that he doesnt understand why Thomas is trying so hard to accept him (“You never let go, But I let go”). He also refrains from telling Thomas about his true past probably out of fear or worry that Thomas won’t want him anymore (“But I never told you everything, I'm losing hope and fading dreams”).

6) A Decade under the Influence: Virgil is anxious™️. Despite how worried he is about his ability to help Thomas, he knows that he has to try and that he has to protect Thomas from the other dark sides (“Well, I've got a bad feeling about this, I've got a bad feeling about this” “To hell with you and all your friends, To hell with you and all your friends” “I’m a nervous wreck”).

7) Thnks fr th Mmrs: HUGE, SASSY middle finger to Janus. Honestly, thats it. Virgil has been fully accepted by Thomas and the light side gang and he is LOVING it. This song is just Virgil rubbing it in Janus’ face how much better off he is without him and the dark sides (“Who does he think he is?” “Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great”). He also flaunts the fact that Patton is a much better parent/authority figure than Janus ever was (“He tastes like you, only sweeter”).

8) Be Calm: This ones cuteeeee. Virgil has been with the light sides for some time now and has begun to understand that he can be helpful to thomas (“As I walk through the streets of my new city, My back feeling much better, I suppose”). The entire song just feels like Virgil helping Thomas through an anxiety attack or some panic of sorts. He relates to Thomas on the feeling and tries his best to help him relax (“I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe” “And be calm. Be calm. I know you feel like you are breaking down. Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes. Be calm.” “Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.” “You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive” “It just gets so hard sometimes”). Theyre starting to bond and finally understand each other and that is just super sweet 💜💜💜.

9) I’m not Okay (I Promise): Honestly... I’m not super sure about this one. It’s another vague one as to who it is aimed toward, but I’m just gonna assume it’s either Thomas or Patton. Virgil is feeling like he isn’t being listened to and needs to be taken more seriously (“I never want to let you down or have you go” “I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means” “I held you close as we both shook for the last time” “You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed” “But you really need to listen to me, Because I'm telling you the truth”).

10) Imaginary: Despite now being a light side, Virgil still worries about the darker sides that are hidden within Thomas (“In my field of paper flowers And candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours And watch my purple sky fly over me”). He knows that they will try to get out at any moment and may be harmful to Thomas, so he has to keep his guard up. (“Don't say I'm out of touch, With this rampant chaos your reality” “I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge” “Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights”).

11) Soft Shock: Oof guys... I really, really don’t know here. This song is SO romantic that it’s hard to even imagine why it’s on Virgil’s playlist to begin with. There is also a vague “you” referenced like in most of Virgil’s songs and I frankly have no clue who it’s supposed to be. I’ll just list some lines that I think are important and maybe you all could help me figure it out. “Well it's a shock, shock to your soft side” “Summer moon (this is like a period of summer where its very warm and things are in bloom)” “Better, back together” “Catch your shut eyes in my room”.

12) The Good that Won’t Come out: Virgil is still worried about his dark past and how that will affect the others and Thomas. He knows that he needs to tell Thomas, but he’s worried that if he does, Thomas will only be able to see the bad things that Virgil brings with him (“I do this thing where I think I'm real sick, But I won't go to the doctor to find out about it 'Cause they make you stay real still in a real small space As they chart up your insides and put them on display. They'd see all of it, all of me, all of it” “All of the good that won't come out of me And all the stupid lies I hide behind. It's such a big mistake, Lying here in your warm embrace”). He finishes the song out by comparing himself to his past, dark side friends (“Let's talk about all our friends who lost the war” “It's all of the good that won't come out of them And all the stupid lies they hide behind”).

13) Sick Sad World: Again... I’m sorry guys but this song doesn’t seem that deep to me (at least nothing stood out. Basically, all I got is that Virgil knows he makes a lot of mistakes, but he does his best to fix them (“My head's a permanent mess And I can't think for the stress” “I close my eyes and pretend That the ground beneath me has disappeared” “Rewind and overwrite, Hope life begins at twenty-nine”). Virgil also still seems to think that he isn’t being listened to enough and that he isn’t helping as much as he wants to with the light sides (“So what, is this is as good as it gets?” “So won't you let me in”).

14) Ignorance: Another Janus song! Whose shocked? Anyone? Yeah, me neither 😂. But this one is SUPER interesting as it gives us some insight into what Janus and Virgil’s relationship was like before Virgil left. The two seemed to be very close and perhaps had similar pessimistic views on the world (“Yeah, the friends who stuck together. We wrote our names in blood”). Virgil knows that the change in him was for the better and he wants Janus to realize this too, but he isnt about to feel bad for Janus if he refuses to see the truth (“But I guess you can't accept that the change is good” “If I'm a bad person, you don't like me, Well, I guess I'll make my own way” “This is the best thing that could have happened. Any longer and I wouldn't have made it. It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture. I'm just a person, but you can't take it” “The same tricks that, that once fooled me, They won't get you anywhere. I'm not the same kid from your memory, Well, now I can fend for myself”). Now, a line that I’m sure people will see as confirmation of Ignorance being the next side, has a different meaning to me: “Ignorance is your new best friend”. To me, this proves that Ignorance is a part of Janus. Virgil believes that Janus will be stuck in the dark forever because he is ignorant to what the real world brings. Janus is so stuck in his hatred for society and his lack of trust for others that he ignores information that could prove his thoughts wrong. That is ignorance at it’s core, and Janus is being intentionally ignorant to the fact that Virgil becoming a light side was a good thing.

15) The Ice is Getting Thinner: Another song that solidifies that Virgil and Janus were actually friends at one point (“We're not the same, dear, as we used to be. The seasons have changed and so have we”). Virgil knew that him and Janus were growing apart back when he split from the dark sides and he knew it was for the better, but it still hurt him (“There was little we could say, and even less we could do, To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you” “And it saddens me to say, But we both know, well, it's true. That the ice was getting thinner Under me and you”). This perhaps shows that the ill-will between the two is not really due to Virgil hating Janus, but instead a sort of broken heart dynamic. Virgil knew he needed to leave, but Janus may not have been ready and may not have understood why someone he cared so much for would just leave him for the others.

16) Overkill: This one seems fairly straight forward to me. Virgil is scared of the dark sides and the implications their acceptance may have for Thomas. He can feel them lurking close by and is on edge because of it. He wants to protect Thomas from them, but at the same time thinks that he may be overreacting (“I can't get to sleep. I think about the implications” “Especially at night. I worry over situations. I know we'll be alright. Perhaps it's just imagination” “Day after day it reappears. Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away” “Especially at night I worry over situations that I know will be alright. It's just overkill.”

17) Under pressure: This ones a bit hard to decipher, but I’ve got an idea. Virgil really respects and values Patton as one of Thomas’ sides, but the other dark sides seem to disagree. Virgil wishes that they would be able to see Patton in the same way that he does and perhaps then they would be accepted by Thomas (“Watching some good friends screaming "Let me out!"” “Can't we give ourselves one more chance?” “Why can't we give love that one more chance?”). Basically, I think the reason that Virgil was accepted by the light sides was because he understood Patton (love and feelings) and what he means to Thomas. Janus has now shown after being accepted that this could be the case (seeing as he was accepted only when Patton accepted him, the other sides didnt really play a part).

18) Everything is Alright: When reading my thoughts on this song, keep in mind that it is connected to the next song. Virgil basically is very anxious about menial things in life that he shouldn’t be anxious about (“Because I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes, Talking with strangers, waiting in line..”). Virgil doesn’t feel like things are okay and he doesn’t feel safe, but he asks the person in the song to tell him that everything is okay anyways. Now a while back, I remembered Joan mentioning in a livestream that Janus would be the one to lie to Thomas about things being alright even when they’re not, so this got me thinking. Perhaps Janus and Virgil got along so well in the past because Janus would lie to Virgil whenever he was having a panic attack in order to calm him down. Virgil may have found comfort in this as lying to himself may have been the only way to escape his episodes (“‘Someday you'll be fine..’ Yes, I'll be just fine.” “Tell me that you're alright, everything is alright. Please tell me that you're alright, everything is alright.”). Idk It just feels like Janus trying to calm Virgil down to me.

19) The Middle: (remember how I said this was connected to the above song? Yep, keep that in mind) So right after the last song, this song began to play and at first I thought the two songs were basically about the same thing. Virgil is anxious and needs reassured that things are okay. This song seemed to have a different tone though. The speaker is reassuring Virgil, but in a different way. They’re not lying to Virgil and telling him just what he wants to hear, but they are feeling with Virgil and comforting Virgil with truth and honesty (“Hey, don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head, you feel left out” “Don't you worry what they tell themselves When you're away.” “It just takes some time, Little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright.” “You know you're doin' better on your own” “Live right now, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough For someone else.” “Don't worry what their bitter hearts Are gonna say”) That’s right. This song is about Patton doing the exact same thing that Janus once did for Virgil only better. Not only that, but he’s reassuring Virgil about his worries regarding the dark sides. That must sting for Janus...

20) Vindicated: I think this song takes place right after Virgil confessed his past to Thomas. He’s scared that Thomas will reject him, but he explains that he’s trying his best to be better for Thomas despite the many flaws he may have (“I am selfish I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right. Swear I knew it all along And I am flawed, but I am cleaing up so well”). Despite his fear of rejection he has hope that Thomas will accept him as he’s begun to see things in himself that someone (probably Patton) has seen all along (“Hope dangles on a string, Like slow-spinning redemption” “I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself”).

(And there you have it guys! I realize this one is probably just as long as the last one, so I’m sorry about that 😂. Please let me know your thoughts 💜)