#I’m going to be honest I use Instagram 90% for dance videos

[curiosity-killed]

Me: hello I would like to look at dance stuff, cute animals, and art

Instagram algorithm: hello young black Muslim woman who may or may not have grown up in an abusive household, has at least a child with autism and/or who is immunocompromised, a horse, and uses Instagram for porn

Me (literally none of those things): ………….¿?

[velveteencurtains]

evermore first impressions!

willow - GIRL EUEJDNSKJDJEJD LOST IN YOUR CURRENT LIKE A PRICELESS WIINE!!!!! TAKE MY HAND!!! WRECK MY PLANS!!! THATS MY MAN!!!!!! girl this is so fcuking GOOD! gonna be 100% honest the 1 is a better album opening but this is so fucking good you guys. life was a willow and it bent right to your wind!!! ID COME BACK STRONGER THAN A 90’S TREND???? EVERY BAIT AND SWITCH WAS A WORK OF ART??? SHES SICK SHES REALLY SICK I SWEAR. the way she sings “that’s my man!” yes ma’am yes ma’am!!!!!! the parallel between “I knew you stepping on the last train” and then “you know my train could take you home” SHES SICK YOUR HONOR SHES SICK

champagne problems - okay we love a piano opener. i’m so conflicted on what i think this song is gonna be about. MORE TRAIN LYRICS GIRLIE. this really is this is me trying’s older, sadder sister. “our group of friends/don’t think we’ll say that word again” MA’AM??? SHE WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A LOVELY BRIDE SUCH A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEAD??????? IM LOSIJG MY FUCKIJG MIND. taylor and joe wrote this together? we love a couple with shared mental illnesses

gold rush - jack antonoff do not let me down. GIRL THE HARMONIES AT THE VERY BEGINNING JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. okay I can definitely see what they meant by this song being about being lost in a daydream, the juxtaposition between the chorus and the verses is AMAZING. this is just gorgeous’s older sister huh???? “ocean blue eyes/looking in mine/i feel like i might sink and drown and die” and “eyes like sinking/ships on waters/so inviting/i almost jump in”

‘tis the damn season - i can’t tell if i want this song to be christmassy or not. OH SO THIS IS JUST HOLIDATE. TAYLOR JUST WATCHED HOLIDATE AND WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. this is a continuation of tim mcgraw, argue with the wall. NO BC TIM MCGRAW IS ABOUT LIKE A LOVE FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS LIKE COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE AND REUNITING WITH THEM BC YOURE BOTH DEPRESSED AND LONELY

tolerate it - jesus christ i’m not emotionally ready for this. STOP THIS IS THE PRELUDE TO BETTER MAN. LIKE BETTER MAN IS AFTER SHES ALREADY LEFT BUT THIS IS BEFORE WHEN SHES STUCK AND KNOW SHE DESERVES BETTER BUT SHE JUST TAKES IT IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYY. okay but i’m imagining the babe music video and that whole of like the doting housewife who gave up everything for her husband and does everything to make him happy but he just does not appreciate it at all and he doesn’t see how much his indifference hurts her. @taylorswift mv now. honestly? loved that but as a track 5 it’s pretty weak

no body, no crime - I PREDICTED THIS WAS GONNA BE MY TOP SONG ON THE ALBUM LETS SEE IF I’M RIGHT. GIRL THE SIRENS AND “HE DID IT” AS THE FIRST LINES?? THEN THE COUNTRY INSTRUMENTAL??? TAYLOR HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED “MURDERED MY CHEATING HUSBAND” COUNTRY SONG HELL YESSSSSSS. OH THE WIFE IS MISSING???? NOT GONE GIRLLLLLLLLL MISS TAYLOR CHANNELING AMY DUNNE HERE!!!!! OH SHUT UPPPPPP SHES A LESBIAN WITH ESTE’S SISTER AND THEY COVERED UP HIS MURDER AND NOW THEYRE GONNA LESBIAN TOGETHER MISS TAYLOR

happiness - okay miss happiness you’ve got a lot to live up to but let’s do this. NOT THE MIRRORBALL PARALLEL “i was dancing when the music stopped” and “when no one is around, my dear/you’ll find me on my tallest top toes/spinning in my highest heels, love” NOT THE IDEA OF CHANGING YOURSELF JUST TO KEEP SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE IM GONNA SOB taylor please stop this i cant emotionally handle any of this. girl this is the prelude to tolerate it which is the prelude to better man

dorothea - okay so seven’s older sister? so dorothea and whoever this singer is were besties when they were teens and then dorothea moved away and now the singer misses her former best friend and also first love and also they’re lesbians yeah it’s gay it’s so gay. taylor i’m literally begging you from the bottom of my fucking soul please give us a music video with two girls please miss swift i ask of you this one (1) thing

coney island - see i thought this was gonna be seven’s older sister when the tracklist was announced so now idk what to expect! JESUS OKAY I KNOW IT SAYS “feat. The National” IN THE TITLE BUT I FORGOT AND I GOT SCARED BY HIS VOICE. NOT A FUCKIJG CAR ACCIDENT TAYLOR IM REALLY SORRY I RRALIZE YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON AND I NEED TO STOP CONNECTING YOU TO HARRY BUT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. okay anyway here’s my theory hear me out: This is dorothea’s husband who’s confused why his high school sweetheart wife doesn’t love him anymore and why she’s now hanging out with her old high school best friend again damn that’s weird they’re like really super close that’s super odd. anyway that’s just a theory I actually don’t really know what this songs about! miss swift is too smart for me

ivy - stop this song is so sweet!!!!!! i feel like this is getaway car’s sister! i need to stop doing that i know it gets annoying but really honestly it is! NO NO NO THIS IS DOROTHEA’S PERSPECTIVE WHEN SHE HAS AN AFFAIR WITH HER HS BESTIE AND HER HUSBAND STARTS TO FIND OUT GUYS IVE FIGURED IT OUTTTTTTT. WAIT WAIT WAIT THE HS BESTIE IS FROM NO BODY NO CRIME AND DOROTHEA IS ESTE’S SISTER GUYS IVE FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I GOT IT

cowboy like me - let’s yee and let’s haw ladies and gents. WHOS SINGING????? WHOS SINGING WITH HER???? taylor shut up for a second lemme hear who tf this is. AM I CRAZY OR IS THIS JOE???? i’m probably dumb. but am i? why can i not at all remember what joe’s voice sounds like rn. is that joe??? im so confused. maybe i’m super dumb and it’s really obvious and i’m just fucking stupid. it’s probably not joe it’s probably some country legend that everyone else knows bc they grew up yeeing and hawing and i’m but a wee city slicker but i’m gonna hold onto this stupid theory that it’s joe singing with her until someone proves me wrong later. also this song is fucking gorgeous where’s my cowboy hat not wearing one while listening to this song makes me feel sacrelige. okay wait tay and aaron wrote this one is it aaron? i’m sorry taylor i don’t listen to the national you can hate me if you want

long story short - god the production on this slaps!!!!! and the idea of being hurt before and then finding your love and being all about them and not even caring abt what happened before!!!!! god i’m gonna cry i’m gonna cry. NO MORE KEEPING SCORE NOW I JUST KEEP YOU WARM?????? taylor really said “oh you’re not in love and i’m gonna make you feel like SHIT ABOUT IT” taylor pls a petition to let us say “BITCH” after the last line so it’s “i survived...bitch!” okay pls and thank you

marjorie - oh is this about taylor’s grandma :(((( i knew she used her name but this feels like it’s really all about her. babey. this is so sweet. taylor i love you

closure - okay the opening??? slaps! literally! okay the production of this is interesting! okay i’m like trying to figure out who this is about....who cares this is so good. oh my god the distortion??? it just underlines the anger of it all so perfectly and i love

evermore - exile hive let’s GOOOO. please be an exile pt 2 pls be an exile pt 2. so odd to me because, as a whole, this actually feels like a way more happy and optimistic album than folklore did, yet the title comes from the line “i had a feeling so peculiar/that this pain would be for/evermore”. OKAY BON IVERRRRRR. the violence of the dog days? that’s my next instagram caption thanks taylor. NOT A DUET SECTION AGAIN LIKE IN EXILE TAYLOR PLEASE I CANT HANDLE THISSSSSSS. “we always walked a very thin line” AND “is there a line that we could just go cross?” THE PARALELLELLLLRJSNDBBD. I’m gonna die for this I really think. okay so she ends it on this pain wouldn’t last evermore so that’s good

overall? this is a masterpiece. miss swift has done it again. folklore aoty 2021 and evermore aoty 2022. no body, no crime is really THAT BITCH. i need a mv miss swift! okay bye gonna go cry over this

update: after listening all night i feel like i need to point out that i’m stupid and thought este was the mistress and the singer was the wife when in fact ESTE is the wife in no body, no crime. SO addendum to my theory: este and dorothea were besties in hs then dorothea left and got married and so did este but este’s hubby cheated so then este’s friend murders him and she’s cool w it, then dorothea and her husband move back home and este and dorothea reconnect and realize their long hidden feelings for one another, dorothea leaves her husband and she and este run away together

ANOTHER UPDATE: ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON IS FROM DOROTHEA’S POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE COMES HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND SHES SINGING TO ESTE!!!!!! CJNECNSJSNNDN

[luvuwite]

.. all of them?

i’m gonna shit myself

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

only super close people know my middle name, and if you know it then i trust you with my life

tbh i love my middle name, its just really special to me ;;

2. are you artistic?

i draw!!

3. Have you had your first kiss?

i still have virgin lips

only people i kiss are my mom sister and dad

4. What is your life goal?

to make a video game about my ocs!!

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

i do not

6. Do you play any sports?

not yet

7. What’s your worst fear?

abandonment without explanation 

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

my friends.....my homies.....my family.... they all inspire me

9. Do you have any cool talents?

i can DRAW!!!

10. are you a morning person?

oh god no i hate mornings

11. How do you feel about pet names?

well what else are you gonna name it

12. Do you like to read?

not really;; i’m not really a book person

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

my little pony

spongebob squarepants

steven universe 

powerpuff girls 

the owl house @sugarbreadz

most likely more

14. Do you care about your follower count?

nope!! i’m just glad to reblog stuff i like

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

i had this dream where i could fly and it was really nice,,

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

never kissed someone

17. Do you have any pets?

my sister

18. Are you religious?

nop

19. Are you a people person?

i don’t like being alone but i don’t like being in big crowds of people

20. Are you considered popular?

not that i would think so?

21. What is one of your bad habits?

nail biting, hair pulling, lip biting

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

would rather not say

23. What would you name your children?

liam for boye, and penny for gal,,//

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

i do not have one

25. What’s your best subject?

math!!! mATHHHHH

26. Dogs or cats?

CATSSS KITTTYSSS

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

instagram thanks to q

28. best friends name?

@duckstrashcan, @sugarbreadz, @flash-darlinq, @reinhardtist, @sugarsprinkles14, @pastyl-pearldrop, @oni-darling

29. who does your main family consist of?

small

30. Chocolate or sugar?

CHOOOOOCOLAAAAATE

31. have you ever been on a date?

nope !!

other than a joke date from @sugarbreadz

32. Do you like roller coasters?

YES VERY MUCH

33. Can you swim?

yes!! i love swimming

34. What would you do in the event of an apocalypse?

if i’m starting to die, make my death quick and painless pls

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

i don’t think i have a mental disorder?

36. Are your parents together?

yes 

37. What’s your favorite color?

PURPLEE

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Massachusetts 

39. Favorite singer?

the neighborhood

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

not really

41. Do you like dresses?

,,mayb//

42. Favorite song right now?

SWEATER WEATHERRR

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

makes me flustered

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

12

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

nop

46. Have you ever done yoga?

in 8th grade

47. Are you a horror girl?

not really? what

48. Are you good at giving advice?

people say i am so yes i thiNK

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

i climbed trees a lot and my parents always thought i was missing

50. How are you doing today?

better than yesterday!! and progress is progress

51. Were you a cute kid?

i was squishy and small

52. Can you dance?

no but,, i wanna learn how to,,

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

sometimes i say things that i’ll forget hours later

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

yes!! i dyed it black once in-

,,

@flash-darlinq :)

55. What color are your eyes?

green.....green

56. What’s your favorite animal?

penguin son quvuqite

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

oh yeah

many times

and i regret every single one

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i would say so

59. Do you have good friends?

i would say so, i love my friends!!

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

me and all my friends are gay

61. What’s your favorite class?

MATTHHHHHH

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

waits for the next hilda series this fall

63. Are you organized?

yes

yes.

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

the nightmare before christmas 

10/10

65. Which tv character do you relate to most?

uhhh amity because gay lesbian falling for oblivious idiot

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

my motivation and numbness

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

draw because draw

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

treat it the same, except now i don’t have to feel pressured to rush anything

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

uhh be more truthful TBH

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

treat situation differently, and stop being an idiot over somethings i really wish i could’ve changed

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

yes

74. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new?

uhhhhhh years ago

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

something/somewhere warm and comforting and safe

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

i can’t really do anything about it right nOW so i’m just waiting for highschool to be over to go to college

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

game developer

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

nothing? i’m doing fine right now

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

over something that anger my younger self

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

overstressing about reality and not understanding things i should already know

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

bruh i be studying but look at me now HAHIUWEHRQWI

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

draw

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

on friends and for me clothes and sweaters and food haoipwjrwqWQHIERQWEJI

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

past

85. What motivates you to succeed?

people i love around me

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

bro i dunno

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

somewhere outside the city but not super far away

88. Do you believe in life after death?

uhhh i’m so-so about it

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

my english teacher since he has taught me many valuable life lessons

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

to be honest i actually don’t know

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

looking away

anyways

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

,,,,,LOOKING AWAY

ANYWAYS.//

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

don’t waste your tears on something you know is fake

94. What do you think happens after we die?

we die

the end

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

STEAL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

uhhhhhh i’ll pass on this one

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

wtf no 

surprise me hoe

98. How did your first crush develop?

haha

anyways

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

haHA 

anyways.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

if i’m being honest

i’m just another face/background character in the crowd

someone that you’d basically drop in no time if you had the chance to pick someone else to be with

[starlene]

I know there’s at least one person looking forward to this, so here goes: a list of interesting details from the Danish production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Klokkeren fra Notre Dame), based on the two performances I saw in October 2019.

Fair warning: it’s 90% about Frollo.

I saw the following cast in Fredericia Teater:

Quasimodo: Lars Mølsted Frollo: Mads M. Nielsen Esmeralda: Bjørg Gamst Phoebus: Emil Birk Hartmann Clopin: Oliver J. B. Aagard-Williams Something to know about the staging: there are seats onstage, three rows on both sides. Audience members sitting there get to wear hoods, and the seats are gently pushed back and forth depending on the scene. It gives the illusion of the ensemble being bigger than it really is, and sometimes, ensemble members sit and stand in empty spots next to these seats.

And now, from the Prologue onwards…

Christ, this Frollo has AUTHORITY. Sitting onstage, his little sermon at the beginning of the show is directed to us – the ensemble all bowed their heads, and only my unwavering decision to enjoy every second of Frollo without as much as blinking helped me to keep my head high. He’s scary!

When he becomes archdeacon, Frollo does a Cinderella spin where his plain black robe magically turns into a white, ceremonial one.

Frollo smiles at baby Quasi before he sees his face. And why shouldn’t he! A very sweet 1.5 seconds of undiluted happiness in between proud uncle and nephew there before the former’s prejudices kick in.

I obviously didn’t get a chance to see it quite up close enough to see the inscription, but otherwise, it seemed to check out – if Instagram is to be trusted, Frollo wears a replica of The One Ring throughout the show. Might explain certain aspects of his behaviour?

~

In the beginning of the show, Quasimodo and Frollo seem to truly, genuinely care for each other! They hug and everything. Frollo being emotionally abusive is subtle and he’s probably not consciously aware of it himself – he simply does not have the capacity to understand that Quasimodo (or anyone else, for that matter) experiences the surrounding world in a fundamentally different way from his own. (“And can stone talk back?”)

Frollo seems truly surprised when Quasimodo says he could protect him – and it felt to me he means it when he says he didn’t mean to laugh at Quasi. Frollo also chats with Quasi in a quite relaxed manner (too bad, though, that his idea of small talk is racist rambling).

~

Quasimodo is SO happy outside. He does a little dance on one of the onstage seats!

There are many, many ladies throwing themselves at Phoebus. It seems like he’d be happy with just one, but they keep coming and he decides to just roll with it.

Esmeralda’s so full of life here. Rythm of the Tambourine is not seductive but so vivacious, small wonder all the guys crush on her.

The light/video design goes all pink with falling flower petals when the three men fall in love with Esmeralda. A bit silly, to be honest.

Both Phoebus and Frollo (!) laugh/smile at the King of Fools contestants (you can only really see this from the onstage seats)… until Quasimodo pops up, of course.

The congregation covers in shame/fear when Frollo does his little speech about showing kindness to all Lord’s creatures. Probably mostly fear, the man really has an aura of authority.

~

At first, Esmeralda is all mesmerized by Notre Dame (and why wouldn’t she be, it’s a gorgeous place and I guess we all remember how we felt when it looked like it’s going to burn to the ground last April) but she has some great expressions when she understands what Frollo’s all about. At very first, she turns the other cheek – but of course, it takes Frollo less than 15 seconds to be gross again, and then she’s simply done with his bs.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo are SO CUTE during Top of the World. Talk about chemistry – the actors are married in real life, that might have something to do with it… The whole scene is one of my top 2 favourite moments in the show. It’s so beautiful and optimistic (!) and pure, with stars in the sky and all Quasimodo’s statue friends supporting him… Finally, finally Quasimodo has a human friend. I cried, I’m this close to crying right now.

Right after, it’s time for some Quality Frollo Comedy! He does the mocking SpongeBob meme to Esmeralda when she says Quasimodo ringing the bells was her fault (“iT wAs My FaUlT yOuR gRaCe”). Then he switches gears and tries SO HARD to be all suave around Esmeralda: he flings his cape around, sits on the balcony railing all nonchalant, almost loses his balance and does this little silly oops heh heh heh thing.

And then Esmeralda says she sees the way he looks at her and Frollo just flips. It’s been a long day, right? That awful Feast of Fools business, Quasimodo’s disobedience, falling violently in love/lust with a woman you’re supposed to hate, trying to hit on said woman on two awkward occasions, trying to act normal in the midnight mass in the middle of all this… The moment Frollo starts yelling, some switch in his mind turns and his downwards spiral begins.

Next, Frollo gives Quasimodo The Talk. The original script has Frollo slapping Quasi left and right here, but the Danish production takes a completely different approach. It’s 100% clear Frollo is trying to talk himself out of the “impure thoughts” he’s having, and he’s so borderline panicky about it that the mood catches onto Quasimodo. For a moment, they both seem equally lost, and in the end of the scene, they hug it out. You believe Frollo when he says the “you and I against the world” line. Despite all, he really seems to think of himself and Quasi as a sort of a ragtag team.

~

Hellfire here is a journey into Frollo’s mental breakdown. The colour scheme progresses from light blue tones to the whole cathedral being in flames, you have seductive dream Esmeralda (way more seductive than the real Esmeralda) beckoning come-hither and dancing just out of reach, the music gets more and more intense, the subwoofers are turned up to 11 so the floor is shaking and in the end, your heart is beating twice the normal rate and Frollo is screaming and you’re screaming.

After experiencing all that with him, you understand that in his mind, the mind that just broke beyond repair under our very eyes and all around us, Frollo really sees no way out of his situation other than dragging everyone else in general and Esmeralda especially with him. Go hard or go home when you’re losing your mind, I guess.

~

The following scene with King Louis sees the return of Comic Relief Frollo – nothing overtly funny, mostly just the king taking his sweet time to acknowledge Frollo, but since the previous scene was so intense, you’re laughing all the same. How do they even do it? How do they have the character have such an earth-shattering mental breakdown one minute and then do a successful comedy routine the next, and all without losing a trace of his frightening aura? WITCHCRAFT.

Frollo gets a hold of a sword during Esmeralda (at one point, Phoebus has two, loses both, and Frollo picks one up) and turns into a holy crusader. He’s getting to live out his revenge fantasy and he’s clearly enjoying every second of it – it’s been clear from the beginning that he inspires fear in his congregation, and now, he gets to act out every single bit of his sadistic impulses. This is where he goes full feral, so to speak.

Dream Esmeralda is back, dancing in the center of a fire whirl. I adore the video design in this production.

~

In the beginning of the 2nd act, Frollo has sunken further into his madness. He’s clearly unhinged, so much so that I have a hard time believing that he coldly calculates Quasimodo showing him the way to the Court of Miracles. Probably just a happy accident.

The exchange here, with Quasimodo lying and so forth, is tense from both sides. Frollo and Quasi are hugging it out again when the soldier pops in, and Frollo just glowers at him – can’t you see we’re in the middle of a hug here?

~

The end of the Court of Miracles scene is so absurdly good here. Frollo busts in, the Romani are rounded up, everyone leaves the stage except for Frollo, and then he has a good 10 seconds or so to just chew the scenery in complete silence. He has the sword, he glowers right, he glowers left, he does a little villain laugh, then he leaves.

There was some genuinely nervous laughter from the audience at the villain laugh bit, because goddamnit, he’s just so deliciously, almost unsettlingly villainous at that moment. You wouldn’t want to be left alone in the same room with this man, but there we are, all alone in a dark room with him – and it’s just a thousand or so of us versus one of him, so we’re clearly at a disadvantage here.

~

Frollo takes his cross off his neck when he goes to visit Esmeralda in the dungeon and leaves it outside the door. This is my favourite detail in the history of theatre.

You wonder what Frollo is thinking when he goes to burn Esmeralda. He seems almost happy at the beginning of the scene. Is it because he’s a sadist – or because he’s so damn sure Esmeralda is going to change her mind now, he doesn’t really stop to consider that he’s going to end up killing her for real? Could be either. Or maybe he’s just completely lost it and is not thinking about any consequences at all, hell-bent on taking his revenge...

Whatever it is though, having seen his eyes from the onstage seat when he left after setting fire to the pyre, I can tell you it wasn’t an actor performing a role at that moment. It was a man who’s just set the object of his obsession on fire and cannot believe what he’s done and is conflicted and hurting because of it.

~

Frollo is sobbing on Esmeralda’s body and touching her hair and hands and you just feel so gross – stop touching her, she didn’t want that, she’s dead and even now you won’t understand, STOP IT!

I’m certain that Frollo genuinely believes he could have loved Esmeralda. Love feels different to each and every one of us, and in the end, I’m so so sorry that this is what is feels like to him.

Quasi and Frollo’s dynamic during the last scene is so real. I believe Quasimodo when he says he’s lost everything he’s ever loved. In the end, my heartbeat is twice the normal rate again.

Quasi and Frollo always hug during the curtain call here. It’s a running theme with the two of them.

~

Can you tell how much I love this production?

[icarusaturn]

Learn about me!

1. Your name?

Maria Lawson

2. Nationality?

American

3. Age?

16

4. Birthday?

November 12, 2003

5. Zodiac sign?

Scorpio

6. Gender?

Female

7. Sexuality?

Bisexual

8. Your looks ( add a picture or describe them)

9. What do you/did you study?

I’m still in high school, but I’d like to study something either about language, music, or helping people/animals

10. What’s your current job like/what do you have?

I work during the summer at a Dairy Queen, a lot of my friends work there so it’s usually pretty fun

11. Your birth order?

Second, third if you count my sister

12. How many siblings do you have?

2, one brother and over half sister

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Mostly yes

14. How many friends do you have?

Many but only around 5 close friends

15. Your relationship status?

Single

16. What do you look for in an SO?

Honest, kind, loves animals and kids, up to adventure, loves music, loves nerdy things, open to trying new things, good sense of humor, respects boundaries & privacy, not pushy

17. Do you have a crush?

No

18. When did you have your first kiss?

8th grade

19. Do you prefer a serious/meaningful relationship or casual dating/one night stands?

I won’t mind either a serious relationship or casual dating

20. What are your deal breakers?

No common sense, being an asshole, pushy, no respect, derogatory towards others, no self respect, being overwhelming and or annoying, hates animals/is rude to animals, can’t be independent, lazy

21. How was your day?

Good!

22. Favorite food and drink?

My favorite food is probably chicken or bacon cheeseburgers for meat, otherwise I love any sort of fruit. My favorite drink besides water (lol) is lemonade

23. What position do you sleep in?

Usually I sleep on my stomach or my side

24. What was your last dream about?

One of my friends’ sister was working at a Barnes and Nobel

25. Your fears?

Being betrayed, being lied to, everyone secretly hating me, being left alone, being forgotten

26. Your dream?

I want to be successful and happy with a good place to live and good friends

27. Your goals?

The same as my dream

28. Any pets?

Yeah, one cat named Sabrina

29. What are your hobbies?

Art, theater, band, choir, speech

30. Any cool places in your area?

I live in a small town, so there’s many unique things about it

31. What was your last awkward situation?

I was in the car at the local grocery store and someone I didn’t like parked next to me

32. What is your last regret?

My last relationship

33. Language(s) you can speak?

Only English, although I’m trying to learn sign language

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc. )

It’s very interesting so yes, I’d also like to learn more about it

35. Have any quirks?

I have synesthesia, the type where I can hear colors

36. Your pet peeves

Lazy people, people touching my stuff without permission, when someone keeps trying to talk to me while I’m listening to music, annoying loud people, obnoxious rude people, people who blurt things while someone else is trying to speak, people who think they’re better than everyone else, liars

37. Ideal vacation

Anywhere where whoever I’m with and I can do what we please whenever we please

38. Any scars?

A few from childhood and some more recent ones from self harm. I’m in a safer space and state of mind now, so there’s no need to worry

39. What does your last text message say?

I just signed up, did it work?

40. Last 5 things from your search history?

Marvel characters

Color block hoodie teddy fresh

Griz and Norm frozen

Everything I wanted lyrics

Kirishima shirt

41. What’s your device background?

42. What do you daydream about?

Movie/show scenes, memories, possible future outcomes, music

43. Describe your dream home

A house in the city with a bay window, an atrium, a claw foot bathtub, and a modern vintage look/feel, clean with nerdy decor

44. What’s your religion/thoughts on religion

I don’t have a religion because I don’t know much about it, but either way I don’t want to attend any holy services, because I’d like to prioritize other things. I do believe that everyone has their own rights to what they believe in, to me it’s like saying people should be able to eat, it’s common sense

45. You Personality type?

Campaigner personality ENFP - T

You can read about it on 16 personalities

46. Most dangerous thing you’ve done

When I was around 12 I flew with my brother alone on a plane

47. Are you happy with your current life?

For the most part yes

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life?

I’ve tried competitive dance, baking, hiking, and woodworking to name a few

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

The usual stuff, t shirts, hoodies, jackets, sweaters, casual & fancy clothes, dresses, lots of shoes, jeans and leggings

50. Favorite color to wear

Yellow or blue

51. How would you describe your style?

Trendy nerd

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Yeah mostly

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I want freckles lol

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I have 4 lobe piercings, 2 on each side, and my left ear helix so 5 in total. I’m planning on getting many small tattoos and my septum pierced. Nothing drastic, all simple and small

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes, almost every day with my hair and a lot with outfits

56. Favorite aesthetics?

Nature, vintage, character inspired

57. A popular trend that you dislike

There were these weird wavy eyebrows, not a fan 😂

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

All of the Frozen 2 soundtrack, For The First Time in Forever and Let It Go from Frozen, Are You Bored Yet by Wallows, Amerika by Young the Giant, Maniac by Conan Gray, Come Around by Papa Roach, Same Damn Life by Seether, and Soarin by Bazzi

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like?

I like mostly everything, so I would admit to liking mostly any song someone brings up

60. Favorite genre?

Pop or show tunes/ movie tunes

61. Favorite song/band/ genre?

My favorite song right now is a tie between Show Yourself and Into The Unknown from Frozen 2 or Are You Bored Yet by Wallows

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

6ix9ine, lil pump, artists like them

63. Put your music on shuffle & list first 5 songs

Prom Queen by Molly Kate Kestner

I’m Born to Run by American Authors

Holding on to You by Twenty One Pilots

Trip Switch by Nothing but Thieves

Swimming Pool Summer by Capital Cities

64. Can you sing/play any instruments?

I sing Soprano 1 and play Flute

65. Do you like karaoke?

Yeah!

66. Own any albums?

No vinyls or cassettes or DVD’s, it’s all on my Spotify lol

67. Do you listen to the radio? What stations?

I only listen to Spotify

68. Favorite movie/series?

My favorite movies are Frozen, Frozen 2, The Lion King, or any marvel movie past iron man lol

My favorite series are My Hero Academia, Voltron and friends

69. Favorite genre movies/ books/ etc.

Action, comedy, and fantasy

70. Your fictional crushes?

None lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

A mix of Elsa and Anna and Bakugou and Kirishima

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps if so

I don’t ship many things but I love Tododeku and Kiribaku

73. Favorite Greek god?

Apollo, Athena is my favorite goddess

74. A legend from where you live that you like?

There’s no legends where I live, but I like state legends like the legend of Paul Bunyan

75. Do you like art? What’s your favorite work or artist?

I like more modern artists, like ones on tumblr lol. These are a few artists I really like

@elentori-art @tecochet @cherriielle

76. Can you share your other social media?

I have Instagram, Twitter and the like but my Pinterest is maria_1820

77. Favorite youtubers

Colleen Ballinger, Joey Graceffa, Trainer Tips, David Dobrik, Molly Burke, Shane Dawson

78. Favorite platform

Everything but Facebook lol

79. How much time do you spend in the internet?

All of the time 😂

80. What video games have you played? Which ones your favorite?

I’ve played the sims and Mario kart and I like the sims more lol

81. Your favorite books?

We are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson and the My Hero Academia series

82. Do you play board/card games?

Not really

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

Nope

84. Favorite holiday?

Christmas

85. Are you into dramas?

Medical/police/firefighter dramas lol

86. Would you use death note if you had one?

I’d like to say no but I probably would

87. What changes would you make in the world no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I would have everyone have a good house and money

88. (There wasn’t a question here so I made one up)What was your first word?

Besides mama, my first word was eat

89. If you turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A Phoenix

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

I’d want my body donated to science

91. If you had to change your name what would you pick?

I like my name so I wouldn’t change it

92. Who would you switch lives with for a week?

Maybe a guy to see what it’s like

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🪐

94. Write 3 things about yourself + only one of them must be true

I love acrylic nails

I’ve never been on a train

I met Dan and Phil

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because I could put on a sweater

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Sing everything because I sometimes find rhyming annoying

98. Shape shifting or controlling time?

Shape shifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Immune to everything but natural death

100. Book or movie?

Both

[your-write-or-die-blog]

It had been a while since my last casting call. Looking around me now at the que of girls wearing 90’s style windbreakers, crisp new vans, and highlight on the tips of their noses, I felt as though I had been thrust into a world of Instagram models and I’d received an invite on accident. The open call was massive, for a pop band music video coming out in the summer. The line of girls snaked halfway around the Hollywood studio lot, adjacent one set comprised of six or seven fake houses that looked vaguely like something I’d seen on television. I squinted at them for a moment and racked my brains. Dexter, maybe? The girl in line behind me caught my eye and craned her neck in the same direction, eager energy exuding from her. I turned a little bit to smile at her, but couldn’t tell if she’d noticed behind her dark aviators. Maybe she was as nervous as I was. Maybe she was just so flat out gorgeous and cool that she didn’t think I was worth her acknowledgement. I knew from past experience how ruthless Hollywood was. Even though this was my fifth casting call this month, and even though I’d been working to put some weight off and had even gotten up early to do my hair, I began to feel more and more unprepared and out of place in my plain black jeans, doc martens and casual spaghetti strap top. I realized I hadn’t even taken time to read the email from the casting company. Convinced I wasn’t going to make any friends in line, I pulled it up on my smartphone. My stomach sank a bit. The company was looking for a “love interest” role, and warned that actors should be prepared for the audition to include “physical touch” and other possible “romantic gestures”. The coffee on my breath became brutally apparent and I considered ditching the audition entirely. How and why did I not stop to read the stupid email before driving here and freaking out over the lack of parking for almost an hour? My mind began to race. What if the lead singer was gross? “Romance” wasn’t exactly my forte either – I had never gone out for a “love interest” role. This is why I needed an agent. After a few deep breaths, I found a stick of gum in the bottom of my purse along with my resolve. I was already here and I needed the money, I thought. Waiting tables at the Mel’s on Sunset simply wasn’t cutting it, and if this band was as big as this massive turn out led me to believe, I knew it would mean a nice chunk of cash if I somehow landed the part. Plus, music was a huge part of my life – I’d been writing songs on piano since I was 12. To help make someone’s music come to life on screen would be an absolute pleasure of mine… I just hoped their music was good. The sun began to set and the temperature dropped a bit, a refreshing and welcomed change that seemed to help calm my nerves. To help pass the time I put on my headphones and cranked up my favorite 80’s music: Depeche Mode, Oingo Boingo and Fleetwood Mac. Before too long I found my way to the front of the line. The clipboard lady gestured for me to pause as she held her ear to a mess of static through her walkie. She eyed me and my plain face and smiled patiently, then sighed and shook her head. “I’ve got no clue what he just said,” she admitted. “You’re adorable honey, you’re gonna do great,” she said as she checked my ID’s. She looked like she’d been on her feet for hours now, but the sentiment seemed genuine and I smiled back appreciatively. She handed me a ticket. “You’re number 412,” she said, “don’t lose that ticket.” My stomach sank again. 412, I thought. There’s no way I’m getting this part. The next clipboard-person was a tall gay man, head bald as a bowling ball. He singled me out as I walked by and asked if I had my portfolio. I handed it over and he flipped through it, looked at me somewhat indifferently and then directed me to a room off to the left. My palms were sweating. What if I didn’t fit the part and this was the end? The situation became more and more real. I jumped when he began instructing us, not realizing that he had followed along behind me. “Okay, ladies, watch your step - NICE shoes, file in loves, careful now” he said in a thick British accent, ushering myself and a few other girls into a dark, cool room.  The entrance to this stage had a little sitting area – I found a seat and stuck my hands between my legs, praying that they dry before something important started happening. I looked up – the ceiling was very high like a warehouse, the lights along it stark and expensive-looking. To break the silence I leaned over to the girl on my left, who had waist length blonde hair that looked incredible with her yellow corduroy miniskirt: “With the lights and stuff, it’s sort of like Costco in here, isn’t it?” She looked back at me confused and I decided I wasn’t going to speak anymore. The first part of the audition was more of a group interview – the bald clipboard guy picked me out with three other girls and I felt a surge of relief. I’d experienced auditions like this before – it was a great way for casting to get through more people more quickly. This casting team in particular thankfully seemed a lot friendlier than most I’d encountered, casual even. They only asked us our names and to tell them about ourselves – the blonde girl laid it on thick, charisma oozing out of every hand motion and inflection. The second girl seemed almost disinterested, explaining that she went to school in the area and that her friend had told her to come. Finally, they got around to me. A kind-eyed but important looking woman dressed in linen asked what had inspired me to audition. “I love music and I love to create,” I answered easily. She straightened a little bit and asked me to talk a little more about that. I suddenly felt very honest. "Music is such an important part of my life...and of society, it allows us to communicate what could otherwise be lost in a boring old conversation. People talk too much, I think..." I trailed off and became very aware that everyone's eyes were fixed on me now. I felt like I had somehow answered... correctly? She nodded agreeably and motioned for me to go on. "Well I like to write my own songs and I perform open mics sometimes when I'm feeling brave," I continued, "It's hard for me to bear my soul like that...working with someone who is brave for a living would be incredible."  The woman looked up from her notes and leaned over the table, smiling ear to ear. "Anything else, darling?" This audition was suddenly much different than any I had gone to before. My ears were burning. I untucked my curls to cover them.  "No," I laughed. "I guess that's it." The three directors laughed along with me, which felt amazing. The woman in linens stood up suddenly and removed her glasses so that they hung down on her neck. "And," she started, raising her eyebrows, "what do you think of Matty Healy?" The atmosphere in the room shifted at the name. The director lady smirked knowingly as the girl next to me melted just a little bit into her boots. I realized they all knew something that I didn't. Before I could embarrass myself by asking who Matty Healy was, suddenly he was there.  "Did I hear my name?" He was holding a cup of coffee without a lid, a large plastic clip holding his dark curls away from his face, which was scrunched up into a cheesy grin that sent butterflies rippling through my stomach. To complete the actor-on-set look he wore a gray sort of bathrobe over his wardrobe, charmingly mismatched with a beautiful pair of shiny black shoes.  The girls on either side of me unabashedly began to squeal. The directors smiled patiently as he came over to greet us. I watched three girls fall in love with the same man at the same time. "We're taking five," he said in a beautiful accent, taking the blonde girl's hand and kissing it very lightly.  "God, it's cold in here when you're not dancing about like a lunatic, innit?" he murmured to the group of us, explaining the bathrobe. He was so adorable that I couldn't help but hold the back of my hand over my mouth. He caught the motion and looked over at me now.  "Hi," he said, nodding to me as our eyes met. His were warm even in the harsh warehouse lighting.  He introduced himself: "I'm Matthew." Embarrassment froze me for a moment. Oh God, I thought. How long had he been standing around that corner?  He had probably heard the whole audition. But those eyes were so reassuring. Despite not knowing his name a mere ten seconds ago, I felt immediately comfortable with him. "Hi," I replied quietly with a laugh, surprising myself by leaning in to politely hug him around the shoulders. Matty did not seem surprised as all; catching my arms for a moment and holding them there. He smelled like hair product and cigarettes.  "Thank you," he hummed warmly near my neck so that only I could hear. "I needed that today." He sounded sincere. When he pulled away, I was grinning like an idiot.  "Erm," he started, tearing his eyes from me. "This project is very important to me and I've very grateful to you all for coming out and being a part of it. We're having a bit of a party for the next part of the audition so I hope to see you girls there," he smiled again and waved sweetly to everyone, murmuring something quickly to the director before shuffling back around the corner.  I continued desperately to try and calm the redness in my face as the rest of the models openly fan-girled to one another, glancing over at me with a mix of delight and envy.  "Okay, ladies," the woman with the glasses chuckled, waiting for us to settle. "Like Matt said, this next part of the audition we're going to have a sort of mock-shoot just to test if you're compatible - " The bald man threw his hands up in exasperation. "Nora means we want to see some chemistry, duh." Nora rolled her eyes good-naturedly as we all turned to "ooh" at each other, "right, exactly, so there's going to be some dancing involved, we're going to play a little clip of music and we just want to see you interact with Matty and have a good time. As specified in the email if you're not comfortable with this we thank you for coming out anyway. Go ahead and have a seat in the waiting area and we'll come grab you when we're ready for you, there should be water and snacks in a couple minutes." Out of 412 girls auditioning, the waiting area only had a couple dozen. The vibe was different from before, the ice had been broken and all the models chatted excitedly, sipping water, munching grapes and crackers. Not all of them had been there to meet Matty, and they teemed up around me after hearing that we'd had a little moment. Thirty minutes went by and only one girl had been asked to the set. Nora popped in and my heart sank. An extra-cautious layer of professionalism coated her voice this time.  "Hello ladies, just a reminder that we had a massive turn out today and unfortunately we can only consider a few of you. We really are grateful to you for showing up but Matty and the team are looking for someone pretty," she paused, "specific ... when it comes to this video in particular and we are doing our best today. Thanks again for your patience." She smiled dryly and dipped out, hateful eyes amounting on her back. I swallowed dryly.  Another ten minutes went by and two models had already given up, packing up their things with heels clack-clacking through the stage door. The quintessential Hollywood phrase was "hurry up and wait", but forty minutes had never felt quite so long to me. Finally, Nora reappeared and pointed at me with that knowing smile. It was only then that I realized I'd been holding my breath - I sighed out in relief and hurriedly grabbed my jacket, ignoring the stares behind me.  While it was small, the set was much less "mock" than I anticipated: full lights and camera surrounding a simple white backdrop where a crew member sat in behind the drum set. A few other crew members were buzzing about, setting marks with tape on the floor, discussing angles, scrutinizing their notes. Matty sat on a director's chair behind the mic stand without his bathrobe this time, legs crossed. Before I could catch his eye I had a round brush in my face.  "Just a little shiny there," the makeup artist said to me, motioning my chin up to her. "God, you've got great skin... how old are you?"  I stumbled over my words, still getting my bearings. She waved in a "never-mind" motion. "You're over 18 though, right?" I nodded carefully as she dabbed rouge along my cheekbones with her ring finger. "There... just so these lights don't wash you out too much." She smiled and gave the hair around my face a couple twists and a spray. "Beautiful. Good luck!" Someone clapped their hands a couple times to get everyone's attention. "Alright, welcome Miss..?" I squinted past the lights and called out my name to who I assumed was the video director.  "Very nice, hi, yes," he sighed in the exasperated sort of way that directors do, "Okay! So - we're going to play some music and have you sort of perform with Matty here - dance, flirt, pull his hair, whatever you want, ok? Are you ready?" I nodded and a surge of confidence shot through me as Matty looked up with that smile, scooting the chair out of the shot and putting his hand on my shoulder as if we'd known each other for years.  "I do hope you don't pull my hair," he joked, "it took an awful long time to fix."  "I mean it's your video, Healy," I shrugged. My God, I thought. What a face.  The audition had already started and I didn't even realize. The audio was much less professional, a boom box off to the side started playing a song that I immediately recognized from the radio and I realized that the man who had decided just now to dip me was probably worth millions. I recovered from the dip and followed his lead as he whipped the mic around and began sort of half-singing, half mouthing along to the lyrics. Although the mic was off, up this close I could tell that his voice was absolutely lovely.  As he made his way behind the stand-in drummer he eyed me, still gauging. I took half a second to collect myself and followed the vibe of the song, deciding the sort of alt rock guitar riffs called for some hair shaking and punk-posing.  He took my hand and spun me into him as he propped one shiny shoe up onto one of the toms. I slid my hands along his shoulders and came up behind him; making eyes at camera 3 as he sang directly to it. Before the verse was over, I decided i couldn't help myself: I tugged his curls lightly and he sang the remainder of the verse directly to my face before making some sort of explosion noise and racing around me to get back to the mic stand for the guitar solo.  I was in awe of him. Once we made it back to the front I felt him switch to full-on performance mode, trusting that I could keep up with him now. And I could. Before long I realized we had gone through almost the entire song like this and the director looked significantly less bored than he did when I first walked in. The music stopped and the crew applauded us.  Matty tucked me under his arm and whisked us away from the lights for a moment. I was still catching my breath, yet he had barely broke a sweat. "That was, you were -!" "That was so fun!" I finished for him. He laughed and my heart melted.  "Really though, like -" He had the cutest way of tripping over his words. "Ugh," he gave up, hugging me instead. His face was so close to mine I felt his breath.  "And I heard what you said earlier in the group about music and, and erm - that was you right?" I nodded and he lit up like a little kid for a second. Seeing him happy like this was well worth the impossible parking, the waiting and the hours of nerves. He went on: "So, right, listen - I think we're doing a couple quick little callbacks but, dude." Matty Healy had just called me dude.  He fumbled in his trouser pockets for something and then motioned for me to wait, jogging over to behind the set. The crew members were all in a bunch now, reviewing the footage and speaking excitedly. When he returned he handed me a pen and a scrap of paper. "I've lost my - bleeding - phone again but please, would you write your number for me?"

to be continued

[thesinglesjukebox]

HAIM - NOW I'M IN IT

[7.54]

Hard times...

Ian Mathers: Sometimes adulthood feels like the process of realizing you've been "trying to find [your] way back for a minute" for years now. Part of that is that you can never get back (to fewer responsibilities, a younger body, a less complicated life) and part of that is that you don't need to because you've grown in ways you didn't expect or notice and part of that is just that feeling like you're in it is just the condition of being an adult (at least here and now). Of course, Danielle Haim has said the song is about depression. I'm not the only person I know for whom adulthood and depression seem inextricable. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Like grey clouds drifting slowly overhead, depression can manifest itself gradually. You may not even notice it happening. That is, until it's too big to ignore: suddenly, there's an underlying sadness that keeps popping up, and you're too anxious to reach out to others, too unhappy to look in the mirror, too tired to leave your apartment. You're just in it. "Now I'm In It" perfectly captures the moment you realize this -- and while so many songs that discuss mental health can seem condescending or sloganeering, the introspection that Haim does here is genuinely powerful. This is art about depression without wallowing, set to an undulating guitar rift that recalls the strength of "Dancing on My Own." At face value, "Damn I'm in it/ And I've been tryna find my way back for a minute" sounds so simple as to be mundane, but to me, it feels like liberation that can only come from being honest with yourself. Every time I hear it, it feels like air in my lungs, sunshine on my skin. There's a moment during the music video (at 3:20) when, after making it through a shit day, Danielle Haim musters the energy to go out with her sisters. As they cross the street, drums beat triumphantly and a sample of what sounds like cheering plays -- and then, inexplicably, she breaks the fourth wall, shooting a glance directly into the camera, almost like she's looking directly at her depression and giving it the side eye. I have yet to give a 10 since starting to write for TSJ, but that moment alone merits my first one. [10]

Michael Hong: Perhaps the best shot of the music video is the one in which Danielle Haim goes through a car wash, but the most emblematic is likely the penultimate one, where she downs a shot, grimaces and takes one breath. The song is its "before image," a tightly wound version of Danielle Haim over a tense guitar that feels synthetic as it pulses across the track. As it progresses, Danielle loosens up and regains some of that confidence symbolic of Haim. The instrumental also gradually shifts, focusing more attention on other more organic elements. The piano line on the bridge allows her to take stock of her surroundings, backed in harmony by her sisters, but it's those drums on the last chorus that deliver the track's final moment of catharsis. Like depression, that guitar vamp remains, but Haim push it to the background, mostly stopping it from overpowering themselves. It's Danielle Haim, defiantly rejecting depression and taking back control for what feels like that penultimate shot -- the ability to finally breathe after a particularly difficult episode. [8]

Isabel Cole: If it hadn't been for Danielle Haim's Instagram post, I probably wouldn't have known to read this as a song about mental health. But once I saw that it made an immediate intuitive sense: the anxious thrumming that won't relent even as the melody opens up in the chorus, stumbling-fast lyrics sketching a harried picture of isolation, an atmosphere of panic and dread like pacing restlessly in a room you can't make yourself leave. The sigh of regret in the bridge, the dawning realization that you can no longer deny. I've spent a lot of hours looking for something I knew I wouldn't find in mirrors, too. Haim build a gorgeous encasement for the sentiment, lush and textured and perfect, actually, for listening to on repeat on a long walk taken trying to get a little further back to yourself; I particularly love the moment the second verse starts and everything deepens and opens at once. Would love this even if I weren't spiritually obligated to give at least a [7] to any song that closes by layering one of its parts over the other. [9]

Alfred Soto: Whenever they use a skittering rhythm track that forces them into breathlessness, I swoon, but then I liked but then Something to Tell You more than most. The ghost of "I Love You Always Forever" haunts -- will Haim's next album study their idea of '90s-ness? [7]

Will Adams: Haim, always ones to wear their references on their sleeves, take their soft-rock aesthetic to the extreme by synthesizing "I Want You" and "I Love You Always Forever." Those choices alone make "Now I'm In It" great, but Danielle using her signature patter to evoke racing thoughts is the cherry on top. The verse barges in by the second chorus, words tumbling over each other resulting in sensory overload. And then, finally, gloriously, the bridge arrives, when everything falls away and a moment of clarity is reached. The ensuing chorus is the same as it was, but now it feels assured, confident amidst the chaos. "Now I'm In It" is a song about going through it that goes through it. [8]

Tobi Tella: The frantic, almost falling-on-top-of-each-other speed of the lyrics is the real secret of the song -- it puts the listener on edge from minute one. I wish it built to more in certain ways, but I think the tension with such little release feels deliberate -- I feel like I'm still in it too. [7]

Kylo Nocom: Never trust a man who will gleefully scrutinize a Haim track's influences as a marker of unoriginality and yet ignore any accusation you throw at LCD Soundsystem. "Now I'm In It" bubbles, springs, and thrusts forward until the sisters reach a bridge that would make Vampire Weekend circa Modern Vampires proud. [8]

Oliver Maier: Rostam and Rechtshaid's production team-up unsurprisingly results in shades of the bleary, melancholic sound of Modern Vampires of the City, notably in the bluesy piano, ambient noise and thudding drums that filter in after the second chorus. That moment also happens to be the point at which Haim often run out of ideas (even in their best songs) and resort to padding out the remainder of the track with repetition upon repetition to the point of indulgence. Here they're more economical, more conscientious of the song's arc, and the final chorus feels earned rather than copy-pasted as a result. A shame that said chorus is not quite as catchy as they're capable of, though "I can hear it/But I can't feel it" is as succinct and lovely a lyric about depression as has ever been penned. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: "Now I'm In It" turns the corner well-- that slowdown after the two-minute mark, when the piano and harmonies come in and the fervent pulse of the rhythm guitar stills a little, is genuine catharsis. But the rest, both before and after, feels nervy and formless. Danielle remains a great pop vocalist, but the words she sings are sketches and the beat below it sounds like something Katy Perry and Zedd would've thrown out earlier this year. [5]

Thomas Inskeep: The song throbs and thrums, yet the Haim sisters just sound bored, and I'm unmoved. Actually, worse than unmoved: I'm annoyed. [3]

William John: While the track motors along behind her, Danielle Haim here breathlessly corkscrews her way through the awful, disenfranchising inertia that most of us are prone to from time to time. When paired with preceding single "Summer Girl", "Now I'm In It" seems to indicate that a central theme of Haim's putative third album will be the power of the collective in providing a fulcrum for those experiencing trauma. Though the lyric sheet suggests the protagonist remains in the widening gyre, the music video powerfully reinforces the notion that help is always available, even when it seems like it isn't. And maybe the gyre remains, but maybe also, with others around to lend a hand, it might stop widening, or even get a bit narrower. Haim have always been about "the sisterhood," in the most literal sense, but the image of Este and Alana, scuttling down a street and carrying Danielle on a stretcher, nursing her through the rut, might be their paradigm illustration of that concept. [9]

Kayla Beardslee: In the past month or two, as I've built up enough reviews to start referencing my past scores as a consistent standard, I've latched onto two regrets over too-low scores. One of those regrets is "Summer Girl": I was initially impressed and gave it an 8, but as the song kept growing on me in the following weeks, I realized I loved it enough to be a 10. The brilliance of Danielle Haim's restrained vocals, the quiet intensity of the lyrics, the sax riff that carries it all along -- it was quickly becoming my favorite Haim track. Well, the good news is that I was wrong: "Summer Girl" is still an 8 or 9. This is a 10. "Now I'm In It" sounds, somehow, both clean and impossibly hazy. The production is mixed clearly, but allows each bouncing bass note and subtle sound effect to shine; in contrast, Danielle's voice, as impressively agile as ever, folds itself into reverb and whispered backing vocals. Even the fuzz of static in the background of the bridge feels like purposefully crafted chaos. The sisters have said that the song is about Danielle's struggle with depression, and the lyrics reinforce that idea of being stuck in a mental fog. Like the bridge of "Summer Girl," the heart of "In It" boils down to a specific moment: in this case, it's when Danielle sings, full of longing, "And the rain keeps coming down along the ceiling/And I can hear it/But I can't feel it." I love that line, not only because it's absent from the first chorus and comes as a total surprise in the second, but because of how well it works as a metaphor on two levels. Being numb to "the rain" can signify detachment from the outside world, but it can also mean refusing to acknowledge your own depression: this track is smart and detailed enough to express both. And yet the music itself is a rejection of the lethargy of depression. With layers of instrumentation being constantly added and dropped, each section of the song is unique, and all of it builds up to that forceful, cathartic final chorus. In a lesser song, this clear sense of musical growth working against the stagnant nature of the lyrics would feel contradictory, but here, it feels instead like an intentional message of hope. Things will change, even in the storm -- and, if "Now I'm In It" is any indication, Haim will only keep getting better. [10]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox]

[autogynephilius-blog]

Another cam girl named Tegan gets paid $5 per minute to be naked

Another cam girl named Tegan gets paid $5 per minute to be naked online and currently makes about $60,000 a year while studying full time. There’s so much free porn that I feel webcamming is more of a personal one-on-one. You can go online and find any ol’ stuff, but webcamming is more personal; it’s tailored exactly to what you want and what you’re looking for. You’re not sharing it with 100 thousand other people. This is your show. Most of the time you build up a relationship, I talk to you as a friend and I respect you as a person. ���How has your day been, what did you get from the shops, what are you cooking for dinner…’ it’s like an online relationship” Heidi sells her underwear for $100 and has performed sex acts on other girls for her followers.But what about cam girls that don’t use studios? I decided to interview a cam girl name Ona Artist who is essentially a camming celebrity—she has 1.3 million followers on Instagram—to find out what that life is like. Turns out, it’s even more work.

"Mostly they're nice guys, not crazy men," she says. "There are a lot of members looking for love. They want the connection. Some members want you to call their name. Or to talk to them while you dance and strip. I'm very honest with them - they know I have a boyfriend, and they know we are not going to have sex in real life.""I teach them about fetishes - what a fetish is, why a person has one… We study Freud and a lot of psychology. And we study a book of gestures because women must be sensual, smart and beautiful."I knew then, that before I could construct a cohesive argument to put toward my friend, that I needed to take another look at the situation from a broader perspective. I knew that if I came at it purely from my own personal experience that I would ultimately fail. Firstly, I needed to find out if the topic had been discussed at length already - I had heard bits and pieces about the industry and its link to feminism but this time I immersed myself. When I typed in feminism and stripping” there was more material than I ever would have possibly imagined, and I read article after article after article.Not all models work from a studio. Sandy Bell - a graduate with two university degrees - is one of a small army of women who webcam from home. She makes about 100 euros (£90) a day when she goes online to supplement her income as an interior designer. One advantage of being independent - and dealing directly with a web-hosting company - is that she earns a larger percentage of members' fees.

Not all models work from a studio. Sandy Bell - a graduate with two university degrees - is one of a small army of women who webcam from home. She makes about 100 euros (£90) a day when she goes online to supplement her income as an interior designer. One advantage of being independent - and dealing directly with a web-hosting company - is that she earns a larger percentage of members' fees."Mostly it's conversation. I do role-play sometimes, and a small part of it is nudity and masturbation," she says.If you've looked at porn online (which we pretty much all have), you've likely been propositioned by advertisements for cam girl networks. They invade your peripheral vision; they pop up behind your window. The women wait for you to start staring, and, just when you're interested, they hit you up for money. You've seen them sitting at their keyboards, wearing barely anything, winking at you, typing to nobody in particular with thin, lethargic arms: bored and conventionally beautiful. The ads, with flirty video that might be live or recorded years ago, shout at you with promises of "Live Sex Chat" and "Sex Shows", with both amateurs and "pornstars" alike. It's a web red light district, and unlike some gaudy Dutch strip or seedy sidewalk, you're completely anonymous. The sex comes to you.An anonymous webcam model did a Reddit AMA where users asked her every question you've ever wished you could ask a webcam girl (and others you probably wouldn't think to ask ever). Here are the most surprising answers. CONTINUED BELOW...

[beatyoutothepunchline]

On Telephones

Carrie Fisher once said to, “Take your broken heart and make it into art.” I don’t know if she ever found a way to mend a mangled heart--one that can’t will itself to make any art right now--but if anybody has got something better than slamming a two buck chuck while laying on the floor of your dorm room, listening to Julia Jacklin’s cover of “Someday” by the Strokes for the ten millionth time, while going between six different tabs on Glassdoor of jobs you didn’t get while waiting for inspiration to ding like the semi-hourly email from Sur La Table, reminding your newly single ass that “love is in the air” and while it is you can take an extra forty percent off all clad cookware, I’d like to know. All of this is happening on my phone, which I’m trying not to look at right now and am failing miserably at because I’ve spent the last ten years slowly becoming more and more addicted to and reliant upon it. I’m not sure I could go twenty seconds without checking my Instagram feed, and I can assure you that unless the little blue dot on my map app moved with me, I wouldn’t ever get to where I was going. (Have you tried to ask somebody on the street recently where something is? Everybody’s got their headphones in). Remember when phones were just phones and all they did was call people? I do… vaguely. I remember using my stubby, bitten down middle school fingernails to pull up the antenna of my 90’s Nokia, plopping down on the floor in the living room of our house in Omaha and calling everyone in my mom’s address book and tell them I had a cellphone and if I needed to be reached personally, I now could. I remember my mom walking into the room and asking what I was doing, so I told her. I was on the phone with our next door neighbor, Doris Helfrich. My mom pulled the phone out of my hand and apologized laughing it off. I was too old to be doing stuff like that. Twelve or thirteen maybe, but I’m amazed there was a point in my life when talking on phone was a source of anxiety. This is due to the pressure of trying to make a good first impression, which I’m bad at to begin with. I’m one of those people you need to meet at least eleven times before they can form an honest opinion about me. There’s even more pressure over the phone, because there is nothing to go on other than my voice. This wasn’t something that I noticed until I got older and became slightly more perceptive and self conscious of it. I personally have no problem with it, however, in recent years it has come to my attention thanks to the groundbreaking observation of several of the men I’ve gone out with that I sound, “nervous” (In my defense, I’m usually burning the candle at both ends and my voice is shaking because I’m jacked up on an insane amount of coffee.) Or they say I sound scared or sad or angry. My absolute favorite though,came from this idiot I am crying over who told me,“You sound like a California girl.” Because apparently I talk slower (I’m assuming he meant I had a super cool laid back, So-Cal surfer drawl) and because I say “like” a lot (I do, but it’s usually because I’m trying to find the right way to say something. I’m not sure why taking my time to choose my words carefully needs to be pointed out to me as if it’s a bad thing.) But I’m cool and I quote from my favorite Valley girl, saying, “Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man,” or some other joke that fits the comment. The smart one’s laugh and move on. The dumb ones ask, such as said idiot ask, “Why do you use comedy to distract from insecurities?” Truth is I didn’t have any until idiot dudes started pointing them out to me. I hate to admit I let something that stupid get to me, but whenever my phone rings now there’s this sense of fear that the voice on the phone doesn’t match the person I am, and the takeaway will be what I sound like, not what I’m trying to say. The next phone I got was a burnt orange Sidekick, which meant I could finally text people instead of having to call them. Not that I knew anyone to text. Certainly, the sixty-year-old neighbors I called on my Nokia didn’t know how to text or didn’t. But I meet people at school, those people invited me to parties where I meet more people. Those people and I talked for a while and if general teenage awkwardness (because let’s be clear: teenagers were socially awkward long before phones started making them that way) or my inability to form a sentence without sounding like an idiot didn’t ruin the conversation we’d exchange numbers so we didn’t have to talk with our mouths anymore. I distinctly remember a two week period in high school where I met a dude at a party, told my friend to give him my number, lost my phone for two weeks (totally content with never seeing it again) only to find it with an eighty-nine percent battery life and three texts from the boy my friend gave my number to. And really there are two things that are amazing about this. The first is that there was a point in my life where I went two weeks (336 hours, 20,160 minutes) without looking at my phone and that there was a point in my life where I truly didn’t care if the dude from the party texted me. Right after the party, or at all. What happened to her? Fourteen years old in that cocktail dress my mom bought me last minute from Forever 21, standing along the back wall of a dark high school gym, the bass rattling my chest. There was a point in my life where the loudness of it all didn’t freak me out. There was something almost kind of meditative about it. Not the people or music. There is absolutely nothing meditative about being surrounded by teenagers in varying stages of puberty (and yet somehow simultaneously, at the peak of it), dancing to “Apple Bottom Jeans” by T-Pain and screaming “REMEMBER FIFTH GRADE?!” or singing out of key to “Fireflies” by Owl City and screaming “REMEMBER SEVENTH GRADE?!” or little circles of light from a disco ball spinning around your head like someone knocked out in a cartoon. I stood along the back wall of the gym, closed my eyes and focused on the bass until I forgot all the lyrics and all the people around me. If I were twenty-one then I’d have pulled my earbuds out of my clutch and put in my music, Jon Brion or Aimee Man or the Velvet Underground, and slow danced with myself. Unfortunately, I was fourteen. I didn’t know who Jon Brion or Aimee Man were and I didn’t go to the dance alone. For some reason, I decided to go with a bunch of girls who were appalled by the sight of grinding. I was appalled by them being appalled by people who made different choices than they did and decided to call my parents to pick me up an hour into the dance. “Already?” My mom asked though I’m not sure why she was surprised. I always left the party early. As I sat waiting on a concrete bench outside, a girl ran out of the building like Cinderella and the clock was inching toward midnight. She was wearing a powder blue ball gown that looked more prom in the ’50s than a homecoming in 2013 and she was bawling her eyes out, mascara and eyeliner streaking down her face. She sat down on the opposite end of the bench from me. There were about twelve identical benches around us, but she sat on mine for some reason. From what I gathered between sobs into her cell phone she and her boyfriend had just broken up because he had and cheated on her with another girl, who he had taken to homecoming instead of her. Back in my dorm room in 2019, in between Julia Jacklin songs, I started to binge-watching videos by Thoraya Maronesy where she challenges people to call their crushes and ask them out on a date, or asks what the kindest thing they’ve ever been told and there was one video titled, “Who's 1 stranger that you still remember?” And as I watched this video, I tried to think about a stranger I remembered meeting and only one that came to mind was this girl on the bench. And the only thing I remember feeling at that moment was disgust. Because I didn’t understand why she would cry over someone like that. I didn’t get it when I invited him to a lit series I was asked to read at. I’m scared of talking to one person, the thought of standing in front of fifty hipsters in Carhartt beanies who are all tastefully one drink into the evening, armed with big vocabularies and ready to critique me is terrifying. It’s not like Iowa where if you screw up people won’t remember it because they’re not paying attention, won’t remember it because they’re five beers in, or will remember it but love you enough to make it into a joke they’ll tell at your wedding, to your children when they are old enough to get it, and put in your obit. To my surprise, they were all incredibly nice and he was the asshole. I took his judgment of shaky voice and my word choice as honesty. I let him rip into the poets that read the whole walk back to the train, only meekly interjecting with, “At least they’re writing poetry.” I let him call me cute and mansplain the intricacies of his book on finance and politics. I didn’t get it until I made dinner for him (which took well over the estimated hour cook time, because I, in fact, do not know how to operate an oven) and he told me that he was seeing three other people while I was home over winter break. Over break. When he was calling me every other night to tell me he missed me, I was dipping out of dinner early, laying on the landing of the staircase of my parents place or pacing around the freezing garage floor talking to him for an over hour. Because who calls anymore unless they really like you? Only then did click and I finally got it. Heartbreak is a sixteen year old who--for the first time in her life--finally feels like Nora Ephron didn’t completely lie to her, only to have that feeling stripped away by some stupid thing some boy told her. Because a woman well versed in her past mistakes and a man well versed in his didn’t write the right words for that asshole. Heartbreak is a big blue dress that directly juxtaposes the era. That you write off as being delusional or dated, but secretly gives you hope that slow dance still happen, that late night telephone conversations between two people still exist, and still mean more than what is said during them. Heartbreak is mascara running all down your face and no one chasing after you when you leave the party. And let me tell you, that kind of heartbreak looks much better on a sixteen-year-old girl at homecoming than on a twenty-something sitting alone at her kitchen table, with a botched TJ’s lemon chicken sitting in front of her, still a little raw in the middle. I glance down at my phone, trying to convince myself it was to check the time instead of Snapchat, or Instagram. It’s the time of night I would have called him and I debate calling my mother, but I’ve already called her. She likes breaking news, not this repetitive, 24-hour loop of a relationship I prefaced with, “Don’t get used to hearing about him. It’s not gonna last.” I know she will be a hundred percent honest with me. She’ll tell me to wipe the snot out of my nose, splash some cold water in my face and get over it. So instead I call my grandma because I want to talk to somebody that will pretend to care and she is scarily upbeat and gets wildly off topic. She will save me. Or distract me. Maybe they’re the same thing. As soon as she picks up, she tells me about how my uncle Rob was in Chicago for a Navy conference. “But only for two days,” she says as if to avoid offending me. As if I would be furious to find out he didn’t want to spend the few free hours he had in his tight schedule to see me. She told me he left his Navy blues or whatever you call them back in DC where he sometimes works, or in Sicily where he is currently stationed. I forget where she said he left his Navy blues because I wasn’t listening to her tell me how he ran all over town on his lunch break, acquiring pieces of a uniform from thrift stores and getting them tailored to fit him before dinner that night. Where nobody was the wiser, save the two men he asked had a spare necktie. I didn’t stop to consider how beautiful that was--how it could be a short story. One I could’ve been writing if I wasn’t preoccupied with things not working out with the guy I was seeing. My grandma, now picking up on my not so subtle crying, tells me in an uncharacteristically flat, matter-of-fact tone, “It works or it doesn’t,” before telling me to link up with my mom’s second cousin who lives two streets down on Michigan Avenue. That I should consider writing him a letter. Maybe network a little. I write down his address, toy with the idea of writing a letter, but hang up when my grandma starts telling me to “network” with people. A few hours after my conversation with my her, no further into my homework or a story about my uncle, I go from break up songs to love songs when “Big Me” by the Foo Fighters pops up on my recommended list. I’d heard the song before, but I had never really listened to it. Some people say it’s about a fight this guy has with his girlfriend and the line, “If we can get around it/I know that it's true.” Meaning, if it’s the real deal, they’ll figure it out together. Some say that lead singer, Dave Grohl, simply meant it as a corny love song for his wife at the time, some insist it’s about dealing with the loss of Kurt Cobain. I don’t know. I wasn’t in the state of mind to analyze it, so I let the music video inform the brilliant and infuriatingly vague lyrics. The music video for “Big Me” parodies a Mentos commercial, aptly renaming the mint candy “Footos.” In it, Grohl, the band, and several actors (who, if not ripped off of the set from an actual Mentos commercial we’re perfectly cast as being the kind of people that could be in one), encounter a series of minor a setbacks. A woman gets parked in by a self-centered businessman, Dave Grohl gets cut off by an angry lady in a limo, and a kid is kept from getting into a Foo Fighters concert. After a moment of contemplation as each tries to figure out how to deal with the situation they are confronted with, they have this sort of “Ah-ha!” moment, before popping in a “Footo,” smiling at the camera and coming up the solution that has been there all along. The band picks the car out up of the parking spot so the lady can get out, Dave Grohl befriends the woman in the limo that cuts him off and give her a Footo, and the kid is able to sneak into the concert and play with the band. It’s equal parts funny, stupid and feel good and I can’t help but smile when I watch it. I text my brother a link to the video and tell him that I’m having one of those nights where I look at Dave Grohl and think, “Alec could do that.” I pause to explain that, “I don’t know exactly what I mean by that.” But I tell him have fun making that EP he and his band are making. I listen to the song fade out and check my phone, wishing I could pop in a Mento, choose happiness and figure out how to fix myself when I think of one last number I can call. I get up off the floor, walk over to my desk and slide the poem my mom gave me out from under the chip clip holding it to my picture frame. The poem was her dad’s. It’s titled “Don’t Quit,” and when I’m close to quitting I read the poem. When I want answers to questions I flip it over to the phone number written on the back under the name D. Imer. I have no idea who he might be is or what it might means. I open my phone, dial the number, and stop just short of calling. Not because I care about what the person on the other end will think of me or my voice, but because I don’t want to ruin the illusion I’ve created. Deep down I know it will not redirect me to a secret telephone line that will give me answers to all my questions.

[mynameistori]

entry 2 (aug 16)

Hello everyone!

I’ve been meaning to write something but I think writing too often sets me up for failure and I’d like this blog to live for a while. Though I think my cyclic mental state will act as motivation for me to continue to write. Let me update you on what I’ve been doing and thinking about!

Wonderland

Yesterday I went to Wonderland (an amusement park about 40 minutes away from my house) with my nephew Little Bear (literal translation of our nickname for him haha) who’s 11 years younger than me. Fun fact: Little Bear is 11 years younger than me and my next cousin up is 11 years older than me (who we’ll call Melon in case he shows up in a future entry). I had tons of fun, even though we were only there for about 5 hours. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken so much Chinese in my life before! And what’s weird is that I probably could’ve used Shanghainese more (since I’m definitely more fluent in that) but I think I was more comfortable using Chinese with him?? Totally weird. We got there around 5 pm originally because my mom said the tickets were cheaper (they weren’t that much cheaper -- we still spent like 90 bucks for the two of us -- should’ve bought them from Costco) but I also hate being out in the sun (I hate tanning and it just makes me a grumpier person). Luckily the wind was cool and the longest line we were in was for about an hour (for the best ride, so it was reasonable). Only downside was probably going on a ride involving water first (Riptide) and getting moderately soaked such that my foot got a blister from my shoes within the first hour, which caused me to painfully limp for the rest of the night. 

I enjoy going to amusement parks like Wonderland because they force physical reactions out of me. Sound weird, but let me explain. My mental control is so strong (or my soul is so dead -- it’s pretty much the same at this rate) that I don’t experience feelings most of the time. My emotions are heavily guarded! So high thrill rides make me feel fear, adrenaline, excitement, as well as a different kind of control (because restraints make rollercoasters safe and conquerable, it feels like I’m letting myself go on an enjoyable ride from a mystical animal friend).

@_torigram

I know I linked an Instagram account and I’ve been thinking a lot about it (@_torigram in case you missed it at the top of this page). It’s mainly a place where I can post random dance videos because there’s a lot of dances I want to learn but I don’t want to post them on my main account because I’m self-conscious about my dancing and I hate watching myself dance. However, I think that having an account dedicated to this stuff will help me get over my insecurities. To maintain my privacy I’ll be wearing a hat and one of those mouth mask things and I’ll try to keep my outfit as plain as possible (or at least not wear something that someone can notice as mine).

It’s also where I’ll post my “Challenge Videos”! The story behind this is that I wanted to challenge my friend (let’s call him Cover Boy for now, but he’s also involved with the “two nights ago” story I was talking about in my last entry so I might as well just call him Pretty Boy) to do one cover a week. For those who don’t know what covers are, they’re just copying (and sometimes changing up) an original artist’s work and posting it online. So if I were to do a dance cover of someone’s choreography, I’d learn from a video of theirs and post it on my Instagram. The Challenge would go like this: I’d give Pretty Boy a song and he’d have a week to learn as much of the dance and any part of it he’d like and then post the video to Instagram (or at least send a video to me through Messenger). I think this was something I wanted to do myself for a while, and after seeing him do something like this casually on his Instagram (he’s done two) made me want a buddy to do this with. He’s been extremely stressed recently though, so I told him I would hold off for a little longer before presenting him with this. Hopefully he’d be down to do it, but I’m pretty sure I’d continue without him. It’ll mostly be kpop dance covers, so sorry to those who hate kpop! As for vocal covers, they’d be in English because I’m not confident with my Korean pronunciation, haha. 

I’ll post on the Instagram before the summer ends (likely sometime next week, when I head back to Waterloo for my last few part-time shifts for the term), so keep an eye out~ I’ve got a couple of dances ready but I’m not good at learning from videos (I’ve learned from teachers pretty much all my life so dissecting videos frame by frame is so tedious -- props to y’all who do this on a regular basis) so hopefully I can keep a good pace with releasing the videos. We’ll see how everything works out!

Meteor Garden

I recently started watching Meteor Garden 2018! I’ve always been a huge Hana Yori Dango fan -- I think i’ve watched the whole thing at least 3 times and refused to watch the taiwanese and korean versions because to be honest, the japanese cast looks the best and the manga is Japanese. Also, Matsuda Shota was in it and Liar Game (which he’s also in) is one of my all-time favourite dramas. It might be my top actually… I decided to watch the Meteor Garden remake mainly because it was on Netflix and because it takes place in Shanghai. It takes me back sometimes because I always try to guess where this is taking place and how hard it must’ve been to shoot some of the scenes because of how populated Shanghai is, haha.

This drama also helped me feel a lot better because it made me think about something other than my own shitty life and it made me laugh a lot. It also made me think about my ideal guy I suppose. I think I have a better idea as to what kind of guy I’d want to date next or even settle down with. I don’t know if I should type some traits out for you… hahaha. Well, I guess I might as well since this place is pretty private and I shouldn’t be so uptight (?) about this stuff. Sorry for the organization of this next section, it might be a bit wonky. I’m trying to work it out in my head but it’s still pretty messy. Let’s call him IB for Ideal Boy.

LOOKS: I don’t think I’ve ever been picky about looks with my previous boyfriends, but I’d like IB to be more of a pretty boy (not referring to Pretty Boy in any way, haha though he does fit the description) with a lean build. Someone that can turn heads when dressed up. I would like him to be taller than me (I’m pretty tall to begin with at 167 cm), but I’ve dated shorter guys before. I think I haven’t been picky about looks in the past because I don’t consider myself to be beautiful. I don’t think I’m ugly per se, but I think I’m pretty darn average when it comes to looks (though others call me pretty).

INTELLIGENCE: I’ve been involved with (dating/friends with benefits) 6 boys in the past and 4 of them were/ended up as engineers (it would be 5 but he got kicked out of engineering, good riddance because he was a rude dude), so I guess I like smart boys. I don’t think having a university degree says anything about how smart you are. I’d just like someone to exchange opinions with, someone who can hold a conversation and be curious about my life (because I’m unfortunately not that talkative), and someone who’s just as clever, crafty, and witty as me. I’d like IB to be knowledgeable about what he likes/dislikes as well as “street smart” I suppose. I would want him to be able to show me all of his favourite spots and go-tos in whatever city we’re in.

HUMOUR: I think my humour is pretty dark? I don’t know what to say about humour but I’d like IB to have a similar sense of humour to me (or at least get my humour) and to know when to stop joking around because I’m generally quite serious and hate it when people don’t take me seriously (thanks mom and dad).

ROMANCE: I like pet names (call me sweetheart, babe, and princess, IB) and stealing his clothes (why are boy’s clothes so darn comfortable???). I also like eating nice food and sharing everything we eat so we can try more dishes. I like holding hands in public, forehead and neck kisses, and back hugs. I like cuddling, making out in bed for hours, and getting touched all over (okay except for my left ribs - scoliosis problems - and my knees - they’re sensitive but in a bad way). I like receiving and giving hickies because I’m kind of possessive? And I’d like IB to be slightly possessive as well. Let’s not move to more intimate topics, sorry internet maybe some other time :)

TRUST:  I’d want him to be able to listen to me without judgment and to always be truthful with me. I don’t want him to hide anything from me (especially when it’s people talking shit behind my back) and to trust me to deal with problematic situations well enough (this is the main reason why me and my most recent boyfriend -- let’s call him Balloon Boy -- broke up, aside from being long distance and being too similar in our introverted-like traits).

PERSONALITY: Loud but quiet. I’d like IB to be more outgoing than me because I’m quiet and shy in general (especially around strangers) and am socially anxious, so I’d want him to hold my hand and lead me out of my comfort zone I think IB should be passionate about something in his life, whether it be a hobby or career-related. Extra points if he sings or dances, because then we’d have something in common. I don’t want IB to be nonchalant (more nonchalant than me is a nono) because it gets tiring being the one in charge all the time. Some spontaneity is good, and taking risks is nice too because I’m a rebel at heart though it seems like I’m super uptight all the time.

AGE: to be honest, I don’t really care much about age. So far, I’ve gone 3 years older and 2 years younger. I like mature boys though because I’d want to have serious deep talks and be able to ask them for their opinions on life and whatnot.

I don’t know how to continue on from that rough list, so I guess that’s all from me for now. I think the next ones will be about Pretty Boy and Balloon Boy, so get ready for some angst? Until then, be merry :)

Tori

[lunapaper]

The year was 2010. Emo was just starting to die out (long live the scene). I was studying to become a secondary school teacher, and Katy Perry was shooting whipped cream out of her boobs...

Second albums, more often than not, fail to live up to the hype. And yet, Teenage Dream has somehow endured.

While Perry’s 2008 debut, One of the Boys, launched her into the mainstream, it really hasn’t aged all that well. On tracks like ‘Self Inflicted’ and ‘Fingerprints,’ she tries way too hard to emulate Paramore’s bold pop punk. On others, she attempts to rebel against her gospel roots by turning the bawdiness up to 10.

It can also come off pretty juvenile at times. The singer was almost 25 when she sang on the title track: ‘So over the summer, something changed/I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs/And I studied Lolita religiously/And I walked right in to school and caught you staring at me.’

But let’s be honest: Even though it’s been declared ~problematic~, you still jam out to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ when you hear it, don’t you? I hadn’t listened to ‘Ur So Gay’ before this, either, but its slinky, jazz-infused vibe absolutely slaps.

Like Teenage Dream is also a product of its time, presenting pop at its most sugary, hook-laden and bombastic. It managed to spawn 5 No.1 singles, the second album in history to do so after Michael Jackson’s Bad, as well as a documentary, Part of Me. There’s even a deluxe edition, cleverly titled The Complete Confection. It was Perry at her peak.

You know the title track, of course. Evoking images of cherry red lipstick, tight denim and driving down an empty highway in summer, Perry desperately clings to the memory of young love, breathlessly pleading ‘don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.’

‘The One That Got Away,’ meanwhile, is its bittersweet sequel, Perry's lovesick nostalgia now tinged with regret. Yet, the only thing I really remember about the song is the video starring Cassian Andor himself, Diego Luna, as Perry’s past love, the beautifully dishevelled and tortured artist of my dreams (Dear God, that penetrating stare...) He’s also the only reason why anyone bothered to watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, if it wasn’t already obvious.

First single ‘California Gurls,’ on the other hand, is pure pop exuberance at its most campy and carefree, indicative of a more innocent time when it wasn’t driven by algorithms or social media. ‘Firework’ is still a go-to empowerment anthem for just about every kind of montage imaginable. ‘ET’ (featuring a pre-’presidential’ Kanye) is heavily-synthesised cyber pop that doesn’t get nearly enough love.

But Teenage Dream, in retrospect, has quite a few misses. ‘Peacock’ is just one big, long, glitchy dick joke. ‘Not Like The Movies’ is big ballad schmaltz. The brassy soft rock of ‘Hummingbird Heartbeat,’ meanwhile, opens with a hell of a line: ‘You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity/The first time, every time when you're touching me.’ And I’m pretty sure ‘What Am I Living For?’ is partly plagiarised from Justin Timberlake’s ‘My Love.’ Even Pitchfork awarded Teenage Dream a rather tame 6.8 in their recent retrospective review.

By the time Perry released Prism in 2013 – her ‘darker, moodier’ record - she had shifted further into ‘inspirational anthems.’ There was the inescapable mega-hit ‘Roar,’ the saccharine power ballad ‘Unconditionally’ and the Eastern-tinged ‘Legendary Lovers,’ complete with wellness and spiritual motifs.

But it wasn’t without its bangers: ‘Dark Horse’ (featuring Juicy J) jumped onto the trap pop bandwagon just in time with its subterranean bass and eerie, otherworldly synths. Even the slick, 90s-indebted ‘This Is How We Do’ has a certain charm.

Prism also marked the point where Perry’s invincibility began to wear off. Where the masses once lapped up her candy-coated antics, they were now calling her out for wearing braids in the video for ‘This Is How We Do’ and dressing up as a geisha during a performance at the American Music Awards.

And they would only get louder during her era of ‘purposeful pop.’ Released in the aftermath of the 2016 US election, Witness was meant to cement Perry as ‘Artist. Activist. Conscious’ - as her Twitter bio read at the time. She had joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. On Instagram, she was quoting the likes of Socrates and Plato. She was Woke now, and she was telling anyone who’d listen.

Yet you’d be hard pressed to find much trace of this ‘purposeful pop’ on Witness, bar the first single, ‘Chained to the Rhythm.’ Written with Sia and Max Martin, the singer implores listeners to ‘put your rose-coloured glasses on and party on’ amid whirling, colourful synths.

The rest of the record, however, is made up of either soppy, overly sentimental ballads (‘Save As Draft,’ ‘Pendulum,’ ‘Into Me You See’), awkward lyrical turns and CHVRCHES/Purity Ring knock-offs (‘Hey Hey Hey,’ ‘Roulette,’ ‘Deja Vu’).

Funnily enough, Purity Ring’s Corin Roddick produced some of Witness’ better tracks: ‘Mind Maze’ and the soaring ballad ‘Miss You More, along with ‘Bigger Than Me.’

Final track ‘Act My Age,’ meanwhile, feels like a pre-emptive strike against the criticism Witness would inevitably receive (‘They say that I might lose my Midas touch/They also say I may become irrelevant/But who the fuck are they anyway?’).

Then there’s the godawful ‘Bon Appetit’ (featuring Migos) with its food-related double entendres. It was ‘Yummy’ before ‘Yummy’ existed. Seriously, I just wanna see Orlando Bloom say he likes this song with a straight face...

But I will still defend ‘Swish Swish’ to the death. Do the lyrics suck? Yeah, but Perry’s never been the strongest lyricist. But its pulsing 90s house beat does a lot of the heavy lifting, along with Nicki Minaj’s spitfire verse.

The promotional rollout for Witness, meanwhile, proved just as messy. Among the most infamous was a 72-hour livestream, where voyeurs got to witness Perry sleep, meditate, do yoga and welcome a random assortment of guests, including Gordon Ramsey and activist DeRay McKesson. Then there was the meme-laden video for ‘Swish Swish. She literally served herself up on a platter in the clip for ‘Bon Appetit.’ She tried reigniting her feud with Taylor Swift on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. Needless to say, it reeked of desperation.

Looking back, though, you can’t help but feel a little bad for Perry, trying so hard to please only for it to blow up spectacularly in her face. So devastated, it sent her to the Hoffman Institute, which offers an abridged version of therapy. As she later told the Guardian:

‘I think the universe was like, ‘OK, all right, let’s have some humble pie here […] My negative thoughts were not great. They didn’t want to plan for a future. I also felt like I could control it by saying, ‘I’ll have the last word if I hurt myself or do something stupid and I’ll show you’ — but really, who was I showing?’

But although Witness lacked the perkiness of Teenage Dream or the cartoonish charm of One of the Boys, it shines best on its darker moments.

‘Dance With The Devil’ has the kind of smoky allure that wouldn’t look too out of place on a BANKS album, while ‘Power’ is a revelation. Produced by Jack Garrett, what could’ve been yet another dull empowerment ballad is turned into a gritty, groaning slab of vaporwave pop, with sultry sax riffs that sample, of all things, Smokey Robinson’s ‘Being With You.’ It’s electric as fuck. You believe it when Perry sings: ‘’Cause I'm a goddess and you know it/Some respect, you better show it/I'm done with you siphoning my power.’

If the singer had just done away with the whole ‘purposeful pop’ concept and stuck with Garrett, Roddick and Terror Jr’s Felix Snow as her core producing group, Witness probably wouldn’t have been half the failure it was. It could’ve had a chance to grow on people, the kind of slow burn Perry could’ve gotten away with at this point in her career. The cyberpop dystopian feel also could’ve gone hand in hand with her newfound wokeness, echoing people’s fear and anger in the aftermath of Trump’s win. But alas, we’ll never know...

While the rollout for Witness over the top, Smile’s was lacklustre and wildly inconsistent.

First single ‘Never Really Over’ came out a whole 15 months before the release of Smile to little fanfare, along with a hippie-inspired video to match. ‘Harleys in Hawaii’ later followed, which also stuck with the flower power aesthetic. Other singles - ‘Daisies’ and the title track – seemingly came and went without a trace.

So how did Katy Perry get to this point? And is there any chance of coming back?

It’s hard to say. A lot of artists go through a rough patch or two:   Miley's twerking antics divided audiences when she released 2013’s Bangerz. Taylor Swift’s reputation divided audiences. Only in recent years has Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP been vindicated. Such is the nature of music and pop culture in general. It’s fickle, just one vicious cycle after another; an endless quest for trend-bait that'll never end.

Right now, disco pop is going through a renaissance, while hyperpop reigns supreme. Dua Lip and Charli XCX are basically untouchable at the moment. TikTok has taken over from Top 40 radio when it comes to breaking hits, while the gap between album releases has also grown shorter and shorter. Even the nature of fandom has changed, shifting from old-school elitism to the bloodsport that is ‘stanning,’ along with an unhealthy amount of ‘endless simping’ (to quote a close friend of mine).

Perry, meanwhile, has failed to keep up, choosing to play it safe in order to avoid further scrutiny. But in doing so, she strips away the humour, the mischief and other idiosyncrasies that fans fell in love with in the first place.

But what choice did she have? As Junkee’s Sam Murphy notes in his own piece about Perry’s rise and fall:

‘At that point, you have two choices as a popstar — hunt for relevancy or make what comes naturally to you. Perry chose the former and came unstuck. She inserted vague wokeness into her songs as cancel culture infiltrated pop, tacked on rap features as hip-hop became the dominant commercial genre, and worked with producers who may have been able to find her credibility.’

(Full disclosure: I started writing my piece on Perry back in December 2020, so the timing of Murphy’s piece and mine is purely coincidental).

Even if you don’t believe in cancel culture, no one actually wants to be cancelled. It’s just not good for PR, especially for someone with an image as glossy and as carefully put-together as Perry’s. Even now, she continues to atone for Witness, telling the LA Times: ‘Having more awareness and consciousness, I no longer can just be a blissful, ignorant idealist who sings about love and relationships […] Even my travels have afforded me a new perspective on cultures, class systems and the inequality around the world, not just in the United States,’ though she carefully avoids the subject of politics on Smile.

But redemption is possible. Swift – Perry's one-time nemesis - was a total pariah back in 2016, mocked for her Girl Squad, for diddling the Hiddles while on the rebound from Calvin Harris and criticised for remaining coy on her political leanings. Now she’s earning indie cred with two of 2020’s biggest albums, folklore and evermore, and has thrown her support behind a number of social causes.

The devil works hard, but Swift’s PR team work harder. I might not be her biggest fan, but Taylor works Kris Jenner levels of mastery when it comes to rebuilding public sentiment. Thanks to her newfound indie cred, you’ve almost forgotten about the pastel atrocity ‘Me!,’ her 2019 duet with that insufferable drama kid cliché, Brendon Urie. Shifting her songs away from petty grievances to more original storytelling was also a smart move.

But while Swift has managed to move on, Perry seems to have fallen into the same adult contemporary trap as Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Pink, one that ensnares many female artists over 30 (Though many have also managed to escape – Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kesha, Robyn...)

As ‘woke’ as the industry and fans at large might think themselves to be, they’re still pretty ageist. There's still an expectation to ‘mature’ your sound as you age, to become more ‘serious.’ No more fun, no more experimenting, boomer. But when you do end up filing away the edges, you’re called dull, generic and past your prime. Perry said as much on the aforementioned ‘Act My Age. You just. can't. win.

And yet, many female artists over 30 have created some of their best work yet in just the past year or so: Hayley Williams made the dramatic shift from pop rock to low-key, Radiohead-inspired tunes on her solo debut, Petals For Armor. Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters was hailed by critics as her most bold, urgent and visceral. Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? was a cut of understated disco pop elegance. Carly Rae Jepsen, meanwhile, released an equally stellar companion to 2019’s Dedicated.

At this point in her career, Perry could afford to follow a similar path to that of the Canadian singer. Once the meme value of ‘Call Me Maybe’ wore off, along with her mainstream appeal, Jepsen finally had a chance to discover real creative freedom, pushing her sound to greater heights and earning critical acclaim, all without having to compromise her love for catchy hooks and bold synth pop arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a Reddit user made a post about participating in a focus group held by Perry’s label to discuss why she’s ‘no longer one of the[ir] most notable female pop artists,’ and ‘what can [they] do with her image or marketing to make you care about her again?’

It’s depressing to think that an artist as accomplished as her needs a focus group to help solve her identity crisis. There really is no easy answer. Hopefully, Perry will be able to return more vibrant and assured than ever, on her own terms...

-Bianca B.

[delightful-mystery]

Interview with Dolly Daggerz of Tokyo Taboo!

Tokyo Taboo are a loud, ferocious band fronted by the inimitable Dolly Daggerz – who pole dances whilst singing at their shows! (As a pole dancer, I am incredibly impressed) I caught up with Dolly to get the low down on what it’s like in the industry, as well as what she thinks of #DLGRL (We now have an Instagram as well as a Facebook page, follow us @dlgrl2021)

Firstly, thank you so much for being an unapologetic, loud woman we can all look up to! How and when did you first begin to connect to your energy and power?

I think just slogging away in the music industry for a decade makes you really resilient and slowly not care what anyone thinks of you. It’s this fearlessness that has helped me when performing. Having idols that have a stage presence and something to say also helps! Pole has helped me enormously too as I’ve built my physical (and mental) strength and sometimes I’ll watch videos back and don’t recognise myself! I’m always surrounded by amazing women in pole class too so I’m sure this gives me strength and makes me feel supported. Never underestimate the power of women coming together and supporting each other. All the mainstream media and press want is for us to be against each other but when we join forces I honestly think women can conquer anything.

When did you make the decision to pole dance during your live shows? As a fellow musician and pole dancer, I’m hella impressed!

I’ve been performing for a long while and I get bored easily, so performing in the band was getting a bit stale. I always used to drink large amounts and climb on speakers and bend myself backwards off things as a thrill when performing. I took away the drink so replaced it with pole. We tried it for one gig and slowly I tested my comfort zone and every show I pushed myself a bit more. Now I have shows where I’m on my X Stage platform about 90% of the show! (If it’s super sweaty and hot in the venue I struggle but otherwise I am flying!) It really has changed our whole live show!

Cris Watkins photographing the fabulous Dolly Daggerz!

What makes you the most proud about being a woman working in the music industry?

I think it’s important that I write the songs (alongside Mickey). Every lyric is written by me. I get so bored of reading / hearing the male point of view. I love female songwriters who are honest and outspoken. I particularly love Lily Allen’s lyrics for these reasons. I’m proud that I’m still standing and that I haven’t given up. I’m proud I’m still writing music I love, and putting on a stage show that is different to most, and for that reason, special.

What does your songwriting process look like? Such a fan of all your tunes!

We’ve just started writing again, focusing in on the final five songs of our second album. I usually play chords on the piano then words will flow out if I’m feeling particularly inspired, or emotional. At the piano I write really fucking sad songs and cry a bit. Other times I’ll be out running (another addiction) and I’ll have a song title idea or I’ll be sat on the tube and use my notes app on my phone to write a whole bunch of bollocks that’s running through my head, like a stream of consciousness. Then, I run through it all and edit it. I bin a lot of it and Mickey and I will work on a very small amount of my lyrics. It’s just important to let everything out, then edit later, whether it’s amazing genius or utter shite.

Cris Watkins photographing the fabulous Dolly Daggerz!

What is one show you’ve done that you would like to live through forever? (think Groundhog Day!) And what is one show you would most like to avoid?!

I loved playing at Byline Festival last year. We were in the middle of a forest so I felt like a little pole fairy in the woods! We gathered quite a big crowd! We definitely had a captive audience and got a lot of people messaging us after, saying that they were completely blown away. The nice messages always make you realise you should keep going even though the music industry can feel a bit much a times!

The worst gig for me was when I was sexually assaulted last year. A random drunk guy grabbed my ass when I was coming back through the crowd after singing sat on the bar. I was honestly so shocked that it ended up being Mickey who called him out. I’ve had a lot of problems with men touching me inappropriately and it makes me not want to perform when that happens. It feels like all the hard work I put into creating a great live show gets flushed down the toilet and I’m left feeling powerless and small. That feeling is so depressing. I make a point to speak up about being touched when I’m just doing my job selling merch or chatting to fans. We might eventually hire security at shows if it gets really bad, but I like chatting to people after the show. It’s a shame some people spoil everything and make me feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

What would seeing a woman in the headline slot at Download Festival mean to you? Do you have a pick of who you’d most like to see in the slot? (other than yourselves, of course!) I actually had no idea that a woman had never headlined before until you contacted us! I was shocked and saddened but also not surprised. You look at a lot of festival lineups and it’s all the same ‘safe’ acts. Mainly male. It’s boring. We need festivals to take more risks I think! I LOVE Halestorm so please get Lzzy headlining PLEASE! Pretty please? 

Massive thank you to Tokyo Taboo for supporting us with this campaign and answering all our questions! Make sure to follow this badass band on all the socials, which you can find below. And if you haven’t signed our petition yet, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? Linked below as well.

#DLGRL petition: https://www.change.org/p/get-a-woman-to-headline-download-festival

TOKYO TABOO SOCIALS:

Live Video: https://youtu.be/OycnPvWDzw8

Official Website: www.tokyotabooband.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/tokyotaboo

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TokyoTaboo

from Interview with Dolly Daggerz of Tokyo Taboo!

[noitstaylor-blog1]

My 100% honest opinion on REPUTATION. You

So, I haven’t post my opinión here yet because I wanted to listen to the album more times before writing this and collect everything in just one long post. I’m going to talk about every single song and then about the whole album as my conclusion. So here it goes…

1-     …ready for it?

This song came out when I was at the supermarket. I had seen the announcement on Instagram stories when I woke up but didn’t expect it to be released THAT soon. I listened to the song and was like, “what? Is Taylor really rapping? Badass! ” Then I listened carefully just to discover she was rapping about finding the love of her life lmao. The second time I listened to it I was already headbanging and jamming to it. I loved it to be honest

2-     End game ft. Ed Sheeran and Future

So when I read Eddie’s name on the tracklist I was like YAAAAAAS WE’RE GETTING EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED 2.0 but… end game wasn´t exactly what I expected. I liked it tho, but it isn’t my favorite

3-     I Did Something Bad

This song has the potential to be a single. It has a good and catchy rhythm and it’s so good lyrically talking. The fact that this song came from a dream amazes me. If I close my eyes during the chorus, I picture myself inside an action movie with spies, car crashes and fire everywhere lmao. This is a 10 out of 10 to me.

4-     Don’t Blame Me

This song is so cool. There’s some points on it where Taylor’s voice is AMAZING. I even screamed the first time I heard those notes. This makes me think of two people kissing passionately. It’s so dark and sexy.

5-     Delicate

Secret sessioners talked about this song like if it was the best song in the album so my expectatives were SO high. It has a cool storyline, the rhythm is cool and different. Her  voice is so soft and cute in here. I liked it so much.

6-     Look What You Made Me Do.

This was the first single even though it doesn’t really reflect what the album looks like. It’s so different but this is in my top 5 even though some people doesn’t like it after reputation’s release which I don’t understand. When I first listened to this song and the chorus came in I was like “wait what?”. I was expecting it like… different? You get me? But as many times I listened to the song, I liked it more and more. I think it’s so catchy and I’m so glad they chose this song as a single. Literally a 90% of the people I know have heard this song and even though some of them doesn’t like Taylor, they like this song. Even when i’m at school I see a lot of people jamming to it in there, and that makes amazes me, because i’m not american, i’m spanish, and the fact that a lot of people in such a small and familiar place like her, or that song, makes me so so happy.

7-     So It Goes…

I feel like this song is so cool and sexy too. Her voice sounds so sweet. There are some parts almost in the eng when she’s hitting those notes and OMG. I love the bridge.

8-     Gorgeous

The little kid at the beggining is too cute, you all already knew that but I had to say it. I like the storyline this song tells, how she fells in love and she feels like the person she fell in love with is impossible to get because she has a boyfriend. The *ding* it’s so cool if anyone hates it I don’t understand why, because it’s funny lmao.

9-     Getaway Car

This is probably the best song from this album DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS. Its storyline is perfect, it’s catchy, it also has the potential to be a single, and I would be so mad if this song doesn’t get a music video. I said what I said.

10-  King of My Heart

She tells how she decided to be alone after all, but this guy came and changed her mind because of how good she was with him. This reflect her happiness to find the one she was waiting for. I don’t like the second part of the chorus THAT much. I love the message that this song transmits

11-  Dancing with Our Hands Tied

This song’s lyrics are cool and so sweet. The part I like the least is the chorus and the part that I LOVE is the bridge for sure.

12-  Dress

YES TAYLOR! This song is so so so sexy and her voice sounds so irresistible. The chorus slayed my life. When I first heard “only bought this dress so you could take it off” I screamed. I’m so in love with this song. And THE BRIDGE, the freacking BRIDGE.

13-  This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Shady af. It’s so catchy. The chorus kind of reminds me of “you’re such a” by Hailee Steinfeld. The laugh is iconic and so cute I die everytime I listen to it aw. I’m proud this was song number 13. Amazing vocals, and lyrically 13/10. No more words about this song because it talks by itself.

14-  Call It What You Want

When I heard it for the first time it happened a bit like with lwymmd and the chorus thing. “I’m doing better than I ever was” that line made me smile so big. The romance she talks about is like the one you see in movies or read in books and it’s the romance a lot of people would like to experience. The music is so good and this song is so relaxing. This is the kind of song I would cry while listening to it in my sad moments lmao.

15-  New Year’s Day

I know there’s people who have said this already but this is the perfect song to play for the first dance in a wedding, and I think this is going to be mine in the future (if my future husband says no then he can kiss me goodbye lmao). The lyrics are so beautiful. It looks like Taylor put a lot of love in this song, and her voice sounds so sweet with the piano. It’s the most emotional on the album to me. Talking with some friends we got the conclusion that this song could also be dedicated to the swifties. I cried listening to the song thinking about it.

Conclusions.

As maybe you’ve read, I repeat a lot of opinions on a lot of songs, but because it happens on every song. I feel like they all are lyrically so powerful. The bridges are so cool, the best part in some songs to be honest. It’s been a good change. From my point of view, the best thing for an artist is to change its style every some time, and there’s too many ways to do it, but it can be in a bad way, or in a way that it rises more and more. Taylor did it on the second way. I feel like she loves this album so much and I truly understand why. She needed to make this album. She put so much effort on it. It’s her baby. This album is so different. At first you can be shocked or not be used to her in this style, but I think it fits her so well and that this era will be amazing and succesful. I can’t wait to go to the Reputation World Tour (if she comes to Spain lmao). I think the staging for this tour will be amazing honestly.

Ranking.

Even though I love every single one of the songs, as everyone, I have a ranking that has cost me TOO MUCH time to do, because in some cases I can’t choose between two or three songs but… here it is:

Getaway car

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I Did Something Bad

Look What You Made Me Do

New Year’s Day

Delicate

Dress

Don’t Blame Me

Call It What You Want

…ready for it?

Gorgeous

So It Goes…

King Of My Heart

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

End Game

I repeat once again that this is my ranking, but I live every single song in here. Hope you liked my review. @taylornation @taylorswift 🖤

[dreamxng-forever]

1-96 sar

Oh Jesus Christ

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?I don’t have a closet so???

(2) Do You Have Freckles?Not really

(3) Can You Whistle?Nope

(4) Last Song You Listened To.No More by Natewantstobattle

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?Purple

(6) Relationship Status.Married to fictional characters

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?70 degrees Fahrenheit

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?No. I never really wake up cranky just unable to make my legs work until I’ve been on my phone for at least 5 minutes.

(9) How Many Followers?107

(10) Zodiac Sign.Aries!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?Brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? Haha nope only when I’m sick and eat vitamin c

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? Sometimes? I mainly plot

(14) What Books Are You Reading?None currently. I need to finish The Stolen Throne though AND the Calling.

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.“The King summoned his whole court together, soldiers and everyone else who was there, and asked who had set his daughter at liberty, and killed the Giants?“ —Grimms Complete Fairytails.

(16) Favourite Anime?Magi: The Labryinth of Magic

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I’m pretty sure it was @krazykacie2000 even though they probably didn’t know I was crying.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?Not really

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?A crappy turkey sandwich

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?If headbanging counts as dancing then yes. And sing really loudly when I’m alone.

(21) Favourite Animal?FUCK I CANT CHOOSE

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?No

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?11pm during the school year and 12-2am on holidays

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?What the fuck is makeup

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?Ocean gives me anxiety and sand gets everywhere so pool

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?@princetheirins cause they’re awesome? I love them a lot and their oc’s give me life (they are also a very talented writer)

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?Bottled water

(28) What Makes You Happy?My friends, writing, and listening to my FAVORITE songs that make my hearts do little flips.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.I don’t not have the ability to post a gif at this moment but right now I am that gif of Obi-Wan Kenobi happily flying while the world burns around him.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? I don’t study

(31) Dogs Or Cats?DOGGOS

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Purple

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.Most of the time Xbox

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? Both?

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? Yes. And the supernatural. I just believe they’re on another domain from us? Or something like that. It’s hard for me to explain.

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?Grey.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? No

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? I try to save but then something I desperately love comes and and just WHOOPS I suddenly got it.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? YES MY STUFFED NUG (an animal from dragon age) THAT I GOT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? Ha…haha…ha…no? (Lies. I’m obsessed with motionless in white and I’m getting sucked back into jak and daxter. Also mass effect andromeda)

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? No

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Yes? I think so?

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? Oh dude hellz yeah my dreams go from fucking terrifying to silly to what the fuck is going on. Like the other night I had a dream that I was working in a museum or something? And everything fucking came to life and for some fucking reason Sheldon from Big Bang Theory was there and I asked him to keep an eye on the exhibits so I wasn’t loosing my fucking mind then suddenly I fucking became Harley and was with Joker? It was really really REALLY weird.

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? I haven’t gone on them enough to really get an honest feel but I get minimal anxiety going on them just cause of the “what if“ factor. But i don’t mind going on them.

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. Okay see you can’t do that to me cause I’m an emotional person and so many movies have made me cry okay.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? Neither.

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? Fuck yeah my friends hate me for it

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Sometimes? It depends on how tired I am. But most of the time no.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? Yes. Okay yes I have a terrible fear of it and I’m sorry for my friends who have to deal with me crying and shaking whenever there’s thunder storms near me.

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?I LOVE writing. It’s my passion. And if the story is interesting then I love reading.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? *has volume on max constantly*

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?Oh guess what it’s my favorite song: Eternally Yours from Motionless in White

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)SUMMER

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? I’m craving my ps2 games jak and daxter that I no longer have. I really want to play jak and daxter okay.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.Do I have to?

(58) What Is Your Gender?Female

(59) Coffee Or Tea?Fucking neither

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?I have homework for myself and it’s called WRITING and APPLYING FOR A JOB

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?Asexual panromantic at your service

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?Fuck no

(63) Favourite Pokemon?Charmander

(64) Favourite Social Media?YouTube

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?I mean I like watching them

(66) Do You Get Homesick?Sometimes? It’s not even for my home though it’s for my dog and video games most of the time

(67) Are You A Virgin?Yes and I will forever be a virgin (hopefully)

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?Pantene Color Enhancer (or something like that? It keeps the color in my hair in longer)

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?Fuck man the back seat of my car is fucking comfy I could live back there.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Yes

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? DARK TOWER

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?HAHA yes. I miss him a lot. It’s a little pathetic

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?It’s between “you can always rinse the surface, but the stains will remain“ and “if you mean it, you’ll make it“

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? Anything that’s like really vibrant.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I still love swing sets are you kidding me

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? An ice cream sandwich

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?I don’t have any games on my phone

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?No cause I don’t know how to give cpr. But I’d ask someone for help.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? I’ve been on my Xbox for 5 hours straight

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? Not really?

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? I’m a very shy individual but sometimes I like getting to know a new person

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I don’t really, just my purity ring that I don’t feel like taking a picture of right now.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?Closed unless my dog is in my room. Then the door is cracked.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? Played red dead redemption, updated a few of my boards on pintrest, and watched jak and daxter playthrough’s

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? Mainly a shirt and undies

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.What

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?Night mostly

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.Do you wanna be here for hours?

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.I had a dream last night that I was getting my “off to Neverland“ tattoo but it wasn’t working and the lady kept getting the size wrong so she had to stencil it like five hundred times

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?DP

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?Waves

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?I wear shorts. Shorts for dayz

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?Tired

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.The song City Lights

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?I want several. I want “Off to Neverland!“ with peter pans hat on the ‘O’ on my forearm, “wonder“ on my left wrist and “land“ on my right wrist, “I’m with ya till the end of the line“ on my left forearm with a star resembling Bucky’s metal arm, “if you mean it you’ll make it“ on my left wrist, and Eternally Yours on my right wrist. I also want a tattoo of The Iron Giant. Those are my only concerte ones but I know I’ll get more ideas from more of my favorite underrated movies

(96) Favourite YouTuber?Markiplier. 100% Markimoo. He makes me laugh.

[abnormalparadox]

10-96

Seriously? You’re the worst.

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Brown.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I try to, but I usually forget.

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yes.

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

None at the moment.

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“With such strong and trained warriors, this might lead to ugly strife. I want everyone here to return to his home as able-bodied as when he left it.” - Helen of Troy (I have no idea why I have this book, I’ve never read it)

(16) Favourite Anime?

Hahaha, I don’t know. There are too many to choose from.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Kazuki, probably.

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Dust. And some figures.

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

I had absolutely nothing.

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Not usually. Yes.

(21) Favourite Animal?

Dogs, I guess.

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

If I have time.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

There’s a time to go to bed?

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

Nope.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I prefer the ocean.

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Miiiiine. And maybe @royz-kazuki and @yuhokuina to name a couple.

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled water. Tap water is gross.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Being on stage.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

With.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

I like both, but dogs.

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Blue.

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

PlayStation all the way.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

I’d swim in both.

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Not really.

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Black.

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes.

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

I spend it. That’s why I am completely broke…

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

No.

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

None that are different from usual.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Yes, and I accidentally killed it.

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Not really.

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

I do when I actually sleep.

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I don’t mind them.

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Koizora… Don’t ask why I watched it in the first place.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds.

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Royz. They’re performing without me right now. I could get away with being in the audience for once.

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not at all.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Mostly, but it depends.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nah.

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I enjoy writing songs, I don’t read all that much.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yes. The louder the better.

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

REDO - the GazettE

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

It’s still springtime even though it feels like summer.

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

I won’t lie, I’m still craving drugs. I could settle for a hug though.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Too lazy. There’s nothing exciting going on anyway.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Male.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Coffee.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

Nope.

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Straight.

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Hahahaha no.

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Gyarados.

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Twitter, now that we’re finally allowed to be on it.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I don’t have Instagram so I don’t care.

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

More often than you think.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

No.

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

I don’t know, it’s whatever was cheapest at the store right now.

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Considering the number of times we’ve slept in the tour van over the years, I’d sleep in my car for free. At least I won’t get bed bugs or something gross…

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes.

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I have no idea what’s even playing right now.

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

Nope.

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

None at the moment.

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

I really like green eyes.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Obviously.

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

I don’t remember…

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Besides Love Live, there’s not too much else .

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

No, because I have no idea how to do CPR and they would die anyway. I would call an ambulance though.

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Many times.

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

No…

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Sure.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Not all the time. I don’t have a picture on hand anyway.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Breathed, napped, and tried to eat something.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Boxers.

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I don’t feel like it.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Neither, I’m barely even a person.

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Again, I don’t feel like it. I don’t have much time for gaming as it is. It’s usually fighting or racing games on console.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

To be honest, I don’t remember my dreams most of the time. I’ve been having nightmares lately… and those usually involve death to some degree.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Coke.

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

The cheering of fans at lives, the sound of Royz performing with all we’ve got, and the quiet that follows backstage when it’s all over. I also enjoy the sound of thunder in the distance as rain starts falling. I’m sure there are more, but those are definitely my favourite.

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Sweats.

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Probably like crap. I didn’t sleep last night again.

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

There are a few things, though the company of someone I care about seems to help most.

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

I haven’t thought about it thoroughly enough…

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

I don’t watch YouTube much, so I don’t have a favourite.

[valianova]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @teakoii

1. What is your full name? Valentina

2. What is your nickname? Tina, V, recently I’ve been called Val, occasionally Robin. Online I’m usually called Bookie or Chat Mom.

3. What is your zodiac sign?  Pisces~

4. What is your favorite book series? The Leviathan Series by Scott Westerfield probably.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yes.

6. Who is your favorite author? I used to exclaim PATRICIA WREDE when I was a tween, but now I’m not so sure. Ray Bradbury? C. S. Lewis? Moliere? Who knows! Not me, that’s who.

7. What is your favorite radio station? 98.3 when I’m home in California. Otherwise . . . *shrugs*

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Strawberry probably. Peach is good too. If we’re talking ice cream, Vanilla, Coffee, or Strawberry. I don’t have complicated tastes.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Precious. Absolutely amazing. Super.

10. What is your current favorite song? [https://youtu.be/ilw-qmqZ5zY] This one, for some reason. Reality--Lost Frequencies. I’m a sucker for chill songs.

11. What is your favorite word? Perspicacious. Or maybe Darling. 

12. What was the last song you listened to? Probably something weebish. Been mostly watching anime lately. It might have been Genghis Khan. Oh, no it was Kpop. I was showing a friend a Kpop group.

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? American? Anime? Uh, probably. . . ATLA, BNHA, Haikyuu, Voltron, or something similar.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? I don’t usually rewatch movies, I do watch Haikyuu when I’m feeling bad. I also have always been attached to the movie Singing in the Rain and Oscar.

15. Do you play video games? If I can. I usually don’t have a platform.

16. What is your biggest fear? DEEP OCEAN. Most definitely. I like the beach just fine, but anything down deep terrifies me. Like crap, so many things can go wrong.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I don’t get angry, or more accurately, I’m not upset when others have conflicting opinions if they’re reasonable about them.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? Laziness. I’m all for relaxing, but I can and will take it too far quite often. 

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? I freaking adore them both, but cats are my soul animals most definitely.

20. What is your favorite season? Summer

21. Are you in a relationship? Probably never.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Innocence.

23. Who is your best friend? That’s a hard question at the moment, for multiple reasons.

24. What is your eye color? Black.

25. What is your hair color? Black.

26. Who is someone you love? A great many people. It hurts and it’s scary.

27. Who is someone you trust? Depends on what I’m trusting them with.

28. Who is someone you think about often? Too many people. Um, friends I don’t get to see like @teakoii and my Jesika. My friends who just graduated. People I’m just getting to know. People I don’t see/talk to anymore.

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Relaxing. Breathing and not feeling anxious, I guess.

30. What is your biggest obsession? . . . Haikyuu?

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Code Lyoko? ATLA? I had a lot of fun shows as a kid.  

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My best friend, but the idiot has to live very far away.

33. Are you superstitious? Casually, I am I suppose. I avoid breaking mirrors, I throw salt over my shoulder if I spill it, etc. I don’t think too much about it but I do a lot of traditional superstitious things.

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? I used to be scared of skeletons, but that’s not really a phobia.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind it.

36. What is your favorite hobby? Nail art I suppose. Or writing.

37. What was the last book you read? Besides school? A crappy top twenty from the teen section. I was disappointed tbh. For school, I read a Jane Austen book recently. 

38. What was the last movie you watched? Batman: Lego Movie (finally!!)

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? I sing. I don’t count that, but my music friends and acquaintances tell me to count it, sooooo.

40. What is your favorite animal? I really really love animals, but cats make me super happy. Dogs as well. I LOVE guinea pigs. Oh, geez. I don’t know.

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? @teakoii, @all1sees @engekihaikyuu @lightprince @miyakuli @littleballofspace @theonegirlunderyourbed @embrace-the-yaoi Couldn’t make up my mind. And of course, I can’t leave out @thatsthat24 It’s just impossible tbh.

42. What superpower do you wish you had? It’s a toss-up between flying and invisibility. I’m so original. I know.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? When I’m not at college and people aren’t actively expecting things of me. Probably curled up with a cup of coffee and good show to watch. If possible, watching things with family and my closest friends.

44. What makes you smile? Almost anything. I smile a lot.

45. What sports do you play, if any? I used to be a competitive gymnast and a ballerina. Learned volleyball for a few years as well. I’ve been interested in getting into dance again lately.

46. What is your favorite drink? Oh! I just answered this the other day! For soda: Cherry Coke || Dr. Pepper with lemon || Strawberry Crush || Ginger Ale Then it’s coffee (sweet or unsweet, I like it all), hibiscus tea, and chrysanthemum iced tea.

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Like a month ago probably. I handwrite a lot of things and like to send letters to anyone and everyone who enjoys them.

48. Are you afraid of heights? Definitely not. I love them. 

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? People leaving their shopping carts out.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yes.

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? Nope. For sure not.

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A vet or an animal cop. I think I used to want to be a teacher too. Radio talk show host and a weatherlady/news anchor.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Hmm, tough. Maybe BNHA’s or the new show’s universe I’ve been watching lately. 

54. What is something you worry about? EVERYTHING.

55. Are you scared of the dark? Depends on the kind of darkness. Natural darkness is calming, but the staircase at night still freaks me out a little tbh.

56. Do you like to sing? Veeeeery much yes.

57. Have you ever skipped school? Yes. Mostly when I’m feeling really bad.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Pike’s Place Market

59. Where would you like to live? Seattle or just somewhere far away.

60. Do you have any pets? A dog and a bird at the moment.

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Most definitely a night owl.

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets I see more often, but sunrises have their own kind of charm.

63. Do you know how to drive? Yes.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Headphones.

65. Have you ever had braces? Never.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? A little of everything, but I tend to avoid screamo, rap, and usually country.

67. Who is your hero? My parents probably. They’re superheroes in their own ways.

68. Do you read comic books? Occasionally. I want to read more.

69. What makes you the most angry? Not much, but people who refuse to change bad habits they know are wrong and hurt others in the process make me upset.

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book. 100%

71. What is your favorite subject in school? Uhh, I enjoyed balancing out equations in math waaaay too much. Really enjoying studying English at the moment in college. I love seismology as well.

72. Do you have any siblings? Older sister.

73. What was the last thing you bought? Groceries. Lots of them.

74. How tall are you? 5′3

75. Can you cook? Sorta. I can get by cooking things I enjoy.

76. What are three things that you love? People in general, pretty lights (city lanscapes, stars, etc.), and good food.

77. What are three things that you hate? Abusive relationships, unnecessary conflict, and anxiety.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

79. What is your sexual orientation? Straight

80. Where do you currently live? America

81. Who was the last person you texted? My sister

82. When was the last time you cried? Recently probably. I’ve been a wreck from this last semester.

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? ReacttotheK

84. Do you like to take selfies? Not ones I show people.

85. What is your favorite app? Instagram or Line I guess.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I love them indescribably.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? Korean

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Venice

89. What is your favorite number? 8 and 13

90. Can you juggle? Nope.

91. Are you religious? Yes.

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Space is amazing but, remember my immense fear of deep ocean? There’s sooooo many amazing things down there to learn about!

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Definitely.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Soaps, perfumes, bandaids, certain medications, and pineapple (to a mild extent).

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yup, the taco and the clover.

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Nah.

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Whenever I can.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forests are gorgeous, but the beach probably. California has it’s hooks in me, I suppose.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "You can give up, I won’t mind. But you definitely will. So just keep going.”

100. Are you a good liar? I’m not sure to be honest. I don’t lie, but I can’t say I never have. I think I am a good liar, but I hope I never have to prove it.

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Slytherin. 

102. Do you talk to yourself? Yeah.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  An extroverted introvert.

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No.

105. Do you believe in second chances? Definitely.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Find who it belongs to, however I can.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? For sure.

108. Are you ticklish? Not at all.

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Lots of times.

110. Do you have any piercings? Double piercings in my ears.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Probably all the ones I’ve ever had a crush on.

112. Do you have any tattoos? Nope.

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? To keep living.

114. Do you believe in karma? In a sense. When you continually do good/nice things to people, you’re bound to find those who will return the favor and vice versa.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Both.

116. Do you want children? Yes, but not until I can settle down properly.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? Some of my college teachers. My family are all very intelligent people too.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? My skirt got pulled off in front of a few people when I was a little girl. Still stuck in my memory. Or maybe when I misunderstood what my Spanish teacher was asking and rambled some nonsense in response.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Many times.

120. What color are most of you clothes? Black.

121. Do you like adventures? Of course!

122. Have you ever been on TV? For an interview once, I think. It was local so I didn’t pay much attention to it.

123. How old are you? 22

124. What is your favorite quote? Um, I collect them, so here are a few, “Everyone wants sunshine, no one wants rain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.” “Sticks and stones only break bones, but words can shatter a soul.” “Don’t cling to a mistake just because you took a long time making it.”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Savory probably.  you don’t have to do it but if you want to @all1sees, @lightprince, @embrace-the-yaoi, @littleballofspace, @theonegirlunderyourbed and anyone else who feels like it, tag me. I’d love to read your answers.