#I’m going to be doing this 30 days challenge until I’m 75 years old

[sesamestreep]

trust me, no one wants me to be writing my prompts more than me, but unfortunately

[echoweaver]

Intro to Echo in Time

Warning: This post is Big and Wordy, now with 75% more words.

Inspired by The Aldbergs by @cloudberry-sims​, I'm trying out a Sims 3 twist on Morbid's Ultimate Decades Challenge. This starts in the 14th Century (anywhere, I assume, but I'm going with the white American default of medieval England) and progresses through time with a strict ratio of sim days to the year. Gameplay changes to fit historic events. The beginning is going to suck because life expectancy in the 1300s was ass, particularly infant mortality. And whoever survives will get to roll again to die in the Black Plague. This is a game where you need a hierarchy of heirs.

I hate telling stories where everything is bland and nobody faces any challenges. After 13 years, I have the mechanics of The Sims down, and I can mitigate almost anything the game throws at me. I have to make bad things happen on my own, and I'm terrible at that because I get too attached to my characters. So I shall hand over responsibility for tragedy to a very cruel 20-sided die and a whole bunch of probability calculations.

Modifications from Morbid's Challenge

Lifespan and Survival

I was compelled to do my own research in to medieval life expectancy, and my probabilities came out different from Morbid's. I also am going to trim the sim day to real year ratio to 3days/year instead of 4 days/year. That leaves me with:

1. Childbirth

Chance of mother's death in childbirth: 5% (1 in 20) Chance of newborn death: 20% (3 in 20)

2. Baby: 4 days to age 16 months, chance of death at age-up 25% (4 in 20)

3. Toddler: 14 days to age 6, chance of death at age-up 15% (5 in 20)

4. Child: 18 days to age 12, chance of death at age-up 10% (2 in 20)

5. Teen: 18 days to age 18, chance of death at age-up 10% (2 in 20)

6. YA: 36 days to age 30, chance of death at age-up 20% (4 in 20)

7. Adult: 45 days to age 45, death chance 20% (4 in 20)

8. Elder: 30 days to age 55, at which point death is handed off to the game's randomizer.

The reasoning here is that my research indicates that infant mortality was 48%, or roughly half. Of the people who survived to childhood, half of them made it to age 55. In my games, it's not uncommon for sims to live 10 days after their official end-of-lifespan, so I think that should get us a close enough simulation. I think we're unlikely to get the long-tail of people who lived to be really comparatively old like 75.

Also, I moved the Elder transition to age 45 because sims can have babies in their Adult stage, so it seemed reasonable to put the transition at menopause. This means that Elderhood starts in mid-life, and I AM AN Elder. I comfort myself that I’m using the Aging mod, and my Elders are not going to hunch over their canes immediately.

What's really disturbing is that those numbers are KINDER than Morbid's rolls. EEK. Also, Morbid’s lifespan is longer than mine, so it may even out a bit.

Racism

Look, I know that miscegenation was a big deal until close to modern days, but I just don't want to deal, ok? I don't want to screw with making all my sims white or creating castes of different skintones who are allowed to marry each other and are only allowed in certain careers. I can deal with 25% of my sims surviving to a really-young lifespan target. I'm using mechanics for sexism and heterosexism and economic castes. But encoding racism into my mechanics just makes me feel queasy. This is just going to be a multicolored version of medieval England. All simulations give something up.

Lifestyle

I'm a huge agriculture simulation nerd. (You should see me play Minecraft.) I've already looked up what foods were available in medieval England. I'm using Cooking Overhaul and Ani's Hunting Mod. Unfortunately, the only grain available in the game is corn, and I haven't found a mod that adds any other plantable grains. So we'll just pretend corn is oats or rye, and I can use Ani's food processor as a millstone to grind corn into flour.

I'm not sure how much of subsistence will be much of a story in between births and deaths, but I'll have plenty of fun playing it :).

Inheritance and Location

I was done with sticking to one lot in Sims challenges since back in the Pinstar days. I just don't know why the community got so attached to, "Buy a 64x64 lot and stay there for 10 generations," as the foundation for so many challenges. I've never been willing to stick to one lot or one world. I play my games too in-depth, and I suck at building.

More importantly, I've done enough of defining a family line by the last name. In Morbid's challenge, male inheritance means that the heir must be male and the girls will be married off with dowries. If the heir dies, a male cousin can inherit and so on. This all makes perfect sense. I just don't think I need to define the heir of my story as the literal heir of the household wealth. I intend to pick whatever surviving child I want. When that child is female, the story will move into a new active household when she marries. After over a decade of Samples and Wonderlands, I'm interested in telling stories about those who leave, not just those who stay behind.

The Foundress

Last but not least, meet Emmaline Weaver.

Since she's a woman, her surname won't last very long.

Her traits are random rolled to be: Coward, Hydrophobic, Proper, Gatherer, and Light Sleeper

Those traits naturally resolved into a backstory for me, and I've had a lot of fun with her so far.

I want you to know that this is the first game I've ever played where the Proper trait was so big a deal. That curtsy greeting is the CUTEST THING EVAR.

[crystalwillow]

Rookie’s Nail Salon

Paring: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine (f!mc)

A/N: Just jumping in here to let you know this is a very sweet fanfiction. No NSFW content here this time. Just pure cute moments and friendship! <3

--------------------------------

“... yeah I think you have a real talent Case!”

“Could you do mine for me later?”

“I.. yeah of cour-“

“Scatter. Dr. Ramsey’s coming!”

The group of friends who were gathered in the atrium scattered, heading off to do there jobs. Leaving Casey to stand there alone, with a face like a deer trapped in headlights as her boss and secret lover strode towards her, trademark scowl on his face. He stopped in front of her, arms crossing over his chest as he acknowledged her.

“Valentine.”

“Dr. Ramsey! Hi! What’re you doing here?”

Ethan sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“..we’re in the hospital Rook- Dr. Valentine. My place of work, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Ha ha, of course! Just... testing you.”

She laughed awkwardly before turning and making an effort to run off.

“Not so fast.”

Her shoulders sagged as she held in a sigh and grumble.

“Is there something I can do for you, Dr. Ramsey?” she asked, putting on her best polite smile.

“Yes. You can tell me what your group was doing congesting the walkway down here.”

“You mean like you are now?” she retorted cheekily, raising a brow. A light blush spread onto Ethan’s face as he stumbled over his words, moving out of the way.

“No.” he grinned. Casey rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling at his child-like action. She shook her head, looking at her shoes before looking back at her boss with a serious look.

“Honestly. If that’s all you need, I need to get going now. I have rounds to get ready for.”

“Oh. Yeah.. of course.”

Ethan smiled and gestured for her to leave, she turned and walked away happily to get ready for her rounds.

--- Late That Night ---

Casey had just finished setting up her station at the dining table when a knock sounded at the door. She raced to answer it and smiled back at a happy looking Bryce.

“Hey!”

“Hey Casey. How are you?”

“I’m okay. How was work?”

“Grueling.”

They shared a chuckle and hug before Bryce come in and shut the door behind him.

“So.... Rookie’s Nail Salon huh?”

“Yup. Are you a potential client?”

“oooo. I don’t know, how much do you charge?”

“$75, but for you I can do the friends & family discount and ask for $60.”

“$60?! That’s a little expensive isn’t it?”

They shared a look and then burst into a fit of giggles as they headed to the table. Casey passing Bryce a binder with a smile.

“Take a look at the designs. Take your time and then let me know what you want.”

Casey sat back in her chair and played a game absent-mindedly whilst she waited. Bryce looked through the pictures, finding it hard to make a decision. All of the designs were so nice. But in the end, he decided on a white, blush tone design with golden lettering.

“This one.” he said, pointing to the picture. Casey locked her phone and put it to the side. Sitting up and to attention.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking. Which one?”

Bryce points again with a smile and places his hands on the table. Casey gets to work, starting up an entirely new conversation.

“Ramsey was not pleased with our congregation this morning.”

“When is he ever pleased with stuff our group does?”

“That’s true. We do get up to some pretty ridiculous shenanigans for almost 30 year olds.”

“Speak for yourself Cass.”

They chuckled as Casey done his cuticles before selecting out the polishes and the brushes she would need.

“What am I writing on your nails anyway?”

“On my left hand fingers, sexy and on that thumb draw a heart. On my right hand, write bitch. Please.”

Casey giggled. “I think the whole world knows you’re a sexy bitch Bryce. Hell. You may as well be a Greek God.”

“Are you admitting you think I’m sexy?”

“Bryce, I know you’re sexy.”

“Why thank you. Nice of you to state that so boldly.”

They laugh again before Casey’s face settles in concentration. She’s halfway done when Bryce shifts ever so slightly. She looks up at him as the brush slides off his nail.

“Are you okay?”

“No... I uh.. I need to pee.”

“Bryce! I told you not to guzzle that drink!”

He grins at her sheepishly, blushing lightly as he shifts in his seat.

“Would you hel-“

“It’s the first and last time I’m holding you whilst you do your business.”

“Thank you! You’re a life saver!”

He pushed himself up with the palms of his hands and jogged to the bathroom, Casey following behind him. She closed the door but didn’t lock it, Bryce smiled awkwardly as he gestured to his jeans. Casey crouched down and unzipped them, lifting the toilet seat with the other hand when an idea popped into her head. She left the toilet seat as of she was going to the toilet and undone Bryce’s jeans completely, closing her eyes and pulling them and his boxers so they pooled at his feet.

“Uh Case?”

“Just sit down and pee.”

She covered her ears and shut her eyes tight. Once he was done, Bryce gently tapped her with his foot, she turned and opened one eye to see he was still sitting on the toilet.

“What?”

“I uh... I need you to um...”

“oh god no. I’m not...”

They stared at each other, awkward energy hanging in the air between them.

“Could you not just wiggle?”

“Wiggle?” Bryce laughed

“Yeah. You know. Wiggle.” Casey demonstrated, seriousness on her face.

Bryce pressed his lips together trying to suppressed the laughter bubbling at the back of his throat, but he couldn’t fight it. He shook his head as it came out. The sound rich and full, making Casey pout.

“I- I’m so-sorry but. Wiggle.” Bryce said as the laughter overtook him and he leaned forwards, holding his hands in front of him.

”Bryyyyycccceeee.” Casey whined and he looked at her adorable pouting face.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll sto-o-op.” He said but couldn’t stop laughing for about five minutes. Casey sat on the floor in a huff.

Once he had calmed down, he looked at Casey seriously.

“Alright. Serious talk now. I really need you to clean the remaining piss from my...”

“I suppose if I have to.” Casey huffed before cleaning him and pulling up his clothes. She washed her hands and they headed back to the dining table to finish his nails. Once they were done and dried Bryce sat back and admired them with awe. Casey watched him from the corner of her eye as she cleared things away before turning to face him.

“Are they okay?”

“Casey... they’re gorgeous. Everyone at the hospital is going to be jealous of these.”

“Just don’t tell them I done it. Rookie’s Nail Salon is for friends only.”

“Okay. Message received. Loud and clear. Ethan’s rookie.” He smirked as he said his last words and a blush creeped up Casey’s neck and across her cheeks, she tried to hide it by looking away, but Bryce had already seen it and started teasing her.

“You’re in love with your boss. You’re in love with your boss.” Bryce sang teasingly, Casey’s blush getting brighter with each tease.

“You should get home, Ethan’s scalpel jockey.” She retorted with a smirk of her own. As Bryce blushed a little himself. “Oh that’s right. I went there.”

“I can see why you want to.” Bryce commented, clearing his throat as they reached the door

“Why I want to what?”

“You know. ... Get in his pants.”

Casey instantly turned as red as a tomato, choking on the air she was breathing.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Bryce reassured as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’d be trying too if I were you.” He smirked with a pat to her shoulder and left out the door. His face changing to a sweet smile as he turned round, shutting the door behind him.

--- The Next Day ---

When Casey awoke the next day, the light was filtering in through the gaps in her curtains. As she stretched out with a groan, her eyes widened in alarm as she noticed the time on the clock that sat on her bedside table. Though the panic disappeared from her chest as quickly as it arose when she realized today was a day off for her. She walked out into the main part of the apartment to find it completely empty. Smiling she grabbed some cookies and a can of her favourite soda, settling on the couch to put on one of her favourite shows to binge. After getting herself super comfy with her blankets, favourite stuffed toy and plenty of refreshments to indulge herself with, she pressed play. It was well into the afternoon before her phone even so made as much as a sound. She paused her show when it dinged, signaling she had a new text message. She picked it up and smiled softly when she saw it was Bryce.

Bryce: Hey! How are you today?

Casey: I’m doing okay. Or I was until someone interrupted my binging...

Bryce: Sorry not sorry babes. Guess what though!!?

Casey: Somehow the whole hospital knows I helped you go to the toilet? -_-

Bryce: Ha. Funny. No. Ethan Ramsey... THE ETHAN RAMSEY. A.k.a, your boss. LIKES MY NAILS! :O

Casey: haha! Good one Bryce, you’re funny xD

Bryce: No. Casey I’m dead serious. He JUST complimented them. He’s still standing next to me if you want me to call you and ask him to verbally verify it.

Casey: Go on then. Dare you :P

She placed her phone back on the table with a smirk as she looked at her messaged challenge, but the smirk morphed into shock as her phone rang with Bryce’s number. She picked up with a chuckle.

“So Lahela. You actually called me.”

“I did. And Dr. Ramsey will now tell you what he told me.”

She giggled as she heard Ethan sigh on the other end of the line. She could practically feel his eyeroll as he spoke up.

“Hello Dr. Valentine. I’m going on the record to say that you done a very good job with Dr. Lahela’s nails.”

“Thank you Dr. Ramsey. I know how much you hate taking time from your day to talk about non-work related things during work hours.”

“Pleasure. Can I get back to work now?”

“I’m not going to stop you. I have a binge session to get back to.”

“Looks like I’m not the only one Dr. Lahela is distracting then.”

Casey stifled a giggle, Bryce wouldn’t know because he wasn’t as close with Ethan as she was, but that comment was dripping with sarcasm and again, she could feel the suppressed smirk he was hiding as he walked away, his footsteps retreating. On the other end of the line Bryce whispered, sounding awestruck.

“He’s. so. COOL.”

Casey laughed. “What was that Bryce?”

Bryce cleared his throat. “Hm? Oh nothing! I just said, what a douche.”

“Mhm. Sure you did.”

“Whatever. I’m not the one with a crush on my boss. Today must be kinda sad for you huh?”

“One more word Lahela and I’ll come to the hospital in my 6 inch heels, baseball bat in hand. Just to look cool whilst I beat your ass.”

“You’re cute when you try to sound tough you know. Like Sienna. Only... she’s actually scary.

“I have a show to watch Bryce and you have work to do. Call me back later yeah?”

“hff. Fineee. Bye, I guess.”

“Goodbye Bryce.”

She hung up with a chuckle, the home screen reappearing and a red bubble on her messaging app. She opened it and smiled when she saw who it was from.

Ethan: I was being truthful, Rookie. His nails are really good.

Casey: Aw. Thanks Ethan.

Ethan: Could you come over and do mine? I get off work in 3 hours.

Casey: Are you being serious?

Ethan: Yeah. What man wouldn’t want his nails done by his beautiful girlfriend?

Ethan: BEST FRIEND! Darn autocorrect. How do you turn it off?

Casey: heh. I’ll be there. Just let me know when you’re home.

Ethan: Awesome! :D

Later on Casey had finished binge watching her show and was showering, getting ready to head to Ethan’s with her nail supplies in tow. She could leave the apartment easily without raising suspicion with her roommates, as they were all at Donahue’s after their shifts. She left and caught the bus across town to Ethan’s apartment complex, pressing the buzzer for his apartment number, saying their secret word through the intercom to get in. A minute or two later she knocked on Ethan’s door. He answered with a smile, wearing some light blue basketball shorts, his cheeks flushed and hair dripping wet. It was clear he’d just got out the shower, but Casey couldn’t say anything back. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her own cheeks were turning a shade of light pink. She knew he could do the ‘hot stud’ look very well, but she had never seen the ‘hey baby. I need cuddles’ side of him before. If she wasn’t sure before, she definitely was now. Yup, she was in love with this man.

“Uh... Casey? Are you... going to come inside?”

Upon hearing his voice, she snapped back to reality with a small shake of her head. A soft smile taking over her features. “Yeah. Sorry, I just thought I’d left my straightening iron on.”

He gave a soft smile back, stepping out of the way so she could come inside. He knew that wasn’t the reason she’d zoned out, but he chose not to push the subject. She walked into the living room and looked around.

“Where can I set up?”

“Coffee table will be fine.”

She set up her little station as Ethan sat on the couch beside her with a smile, that turned into a light and amused chuckle as she put up her little light up sign.

“What’s funny?”

“You’re too adorable. That’s what.” He responded with a shake of his head, adoration etched on his every facial feature as their eyes met. She smiled and just like she had with Bryce, she handed Ethan her little design book. He flipped through it to be a polite client but then placed it on the table.

“Decided already?”

“I decided when I saw Dr. Lahela and complimented him earlier.”

“Really?”

“yep. But first.. could I get a cuddle? Please?”

Casey’s heart ached in her chest as she took in his outstretched arms, pouty bottom lip, and the puppy dog look in his eyes. “Long day?” she asked, and he nodded. She chuckled lightly and slid closer to him, leaning back against the couch. He pulled his legs up and rested his head on her chest, wrapping his arms around Casey’s waist. Her hand going to his now damp hair and playing with it absent mindedly.

“You know. I like this side of you.”

“What side?”

“The cuddly teddy bear side. I understand you don’t want to be like this with everyone, and that’s totally fine. You’ve been through a lot in your 37 years of life so far. From what you’ve told me, it sounds rougher than having to wipe your ass with newspaper. No-one’s parent should walk out on their child like your mother did. And the anger you have towards her, I feel it. You aren’t alone there. And I’m glad you made peace with your father too. But those walls you put up because of that. When it’s just us, and you put them down, stop trying to prove how big your muscles are by holding them up 24/7. When you let things go and become just Ethan. I like that. Because Ethan is kind, caring, still a little bit of an ass at times... but overall, Ethan is amazing. He’s....” she trailed off, scared to finish her thought for fear of losing him by saying something too soon.

“He’s what?” Ethan asked as he sat up, looking at Casey.

“He’s a man that I admire very much and proceeds all of the outstanding expectations I had of him from reading his book.” She smiled though it was guarded and didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“You know. I figured out I signed that snake’s copy of your book. The one who almost lost you your job.”

“Dr. Olsen? Yeah. I regret that action every day. I got you to sign his book and then he betrays me because I helped a woman live out her dream. That and the fact we grew close and he was jealous. He wanted to be in my position. He wanted to be the one impressing you and sharing longing glances with you and-”

“Casey. I’m going to stop you right there.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t give a damn about that snake. I care about you. And you deserve to have a signed copy. So.. I got you one. Wait here.”

“Ethan...”

Casey watched as he walked to his bedroom, returning with a smile on his face and a book shaped gift in his hand.

“Yes. I went to the trouble of wrapping it, but that’s because I had slight cover adjustments made, and well.. here.” He sat back down and blushed bashfully as he handed over the book. Casey took it with a smile, breaking her gaze away from him to unwrap it, gasping quietly as she looked at it.

“Ethan. You. But I’ve never...”

“You can tell a lot about someone in how they carry themselves and how they personalize things. And from the times I’ve been in your room. I concluded you like blush pink tones and golden trim. But go ahead. Open it and read what I’ve written aloud.”

She gave him a skeptical look as she opened the cover before looking down inside. Her jaw dropping at the long note inside.

“Go on. Read it for me.” He encouraged.

She took a deep breath and started reading. Saying the first word with a smile.

“Rookie. If I’d seen you at a book signing I would have written something short that seemed encouraging but most likely wasn’t. I would have been brief and aloof in acknowledging you back as you spoke to me. But I’ve known you for over a year now and I have so much more to say. When I saw you as an intern I swore to the God’s, begged for you not to be like the many others that had walked through those doors. And it seems my prayer was answered. You’re mistakes were... creative, to say the least, and the trouble you brought with you made me chuckle in private as I replayed situations over, seeing the other staffs reactions play over in my mind. It reminded me of the trouble I’d cause as a teenager. I still have no idea what I would’ve said to you back then, if I’d found you hiding, and you needed motivation. I’ve never been good at that. As you know I’m not really an optimist. Or well... I wasn’t much of one. But if you needed me to help you through something now. I’d say that you’ve got this, you’re smart, intelligent, funny... cute. I’d tell you that you’ve got this because you’re Casey flipping Valentine and you can conquer anything you set your mind to. You’re future both as a doctor and in medicine is bright, and who knows, maybe one day you’ll be doing this for me. Yours, Dr. Ethan Ramsey.”

It took her a few minutes to read it all, and at the end she teared up as she looked at him. He was smiling back at her, anticipation dancing in his eyes.

“Ethan, I...” she sighed happily, she was speechless. And she always had something to say. Yet Ethan Ramsey, the guy who a year ago would have just shouted at her to shut up and go back to work, had made such a kind gesture and rendered her speechless.

“Don’t tell me that I have the privilege in being the first person to actually shut you up for longer than 10 seconds.”

But she couldn’t answer that either. Tears pricked her eyes and her throat felt dry as her heart swelled in her chest. She closed the book and hugged it to her chest. Ethan smiled at her and let out a small breathy chuckle.

“You know. You could hug the actual man and not his book.”

She was rendered even more speechless. She must be dreaming. That was a joke. Ethan Ramsey doesn’t crack jokes. He gently slid the book from her grasp, laying it on the table and wrapped his arms around her smaller frame. They stayed like that for a while before Casey could talk again.

“Thank you, Ethan. That um.. that really moved me. Um...”

He smiled as she reached for a tissue, dabbing away her tears. “It’s okay.”

After things settled, she smiled at him again. “So were you going to tell me what colour nails you want?”

He let out a rich laughter. There she was. His Casey. The sassy little brunette with ombre dyed pink ends to her hair.

“Of course. I would like a bright red. With... little white flower details.”

Casey smiled brightly at him. “You got it. Dr. Ramsey.”

“Thank you. Dr. Valentine.”

Casey stayed at Ethan’s that night and they shared stories from their times in med school, with wine. Ethan told Casey about some of the mischief he would get up to, seeing how much he could shock her with each story, before they called it a night and they headed to bed.

The next day as Ethan collected the charts for his own patients after the team had finished their group rounds, fellow attending, senior staff and nurses passed comment on his nails. He passed Casey at a nurses station, writing on charts of her own, catching her gaze as she looked in his direction, almost as if she could sense him. They shared a secret smile and he winked subtly with a wave before continuing on his way. He went to seek her out that lunchtime and found her outside, playing basketball with her friends. He walked over and stopped on the side of the court.

“Who’s the rookie’s opposing team?” he asked, clearing his throat as a small smirk tugged at his lips.

“That would be us Dr. Ramsey. Non-shirts.” Bryce grinned. “You wanna join? We could use the extra member.”

He looked at Casey briefly, who gave him a challenging gaze. Almost as if daring him to break his own professional protocol.

“What do you say boss? You joining their team?”

His smirk was one only she could see before he discarded his white coat, tie and shirt on the side of the pitch, holding his hand out towards Bryce.

“Gimme the ball.”

“Alrighttttt!” Bryce exclaimed as he handed off the ball and the game resumed. It went on for way longer than any of their lunchtimes, but for some reason that day nobody seemed to care about that too much. It was sunny and they were having fun. Casey smiled at Ethan as he scored for his team a bunch of times, each time celebrating in a new way.

[helgaw321]

Takeru’s 155 Q&A

To start off things, let me share (again) one of my most satisfying works from last year, that is Takeru’s Q&A section from his 30th birthday anniversary book. Looking back, I think I worked on this one for almost one week, and It felt really satisfying to finish it on Takeru’s 31th birthday ❤️

Once again, enjoy!

(Disclaimer: All translations are done by myself, pls don’t repost without permission, thank you!)

===========

These are the questions sent by fans through Takeru's official LINE account. Thank you for all of your participation!!

1. Is there anything you would like to do or achieve in 2019? I'd like to do anything good for my body

2. If there is one day you're not Satou Takeru anymore, what will you do? Go to sauna

3. If there is one day you become a girl, what will you do? Sing Sheena Ringo's songs in the original key

4. If you can travel back in time, when would you go? Middle high school

5. If you are being reborn, do you want to be yourself again? Not really

6. If there is an "Anywhere Door", where would you like to go? The world's best views

7. Do you think aliens exist? Not in this solar system I think

8. 10 years from now, what kind of father do you want to be? I want to avoid using weird emoji

9. If you move abroad, which country would you choose? Maybe America or Canada

10. If you got the chance to direct a film, what kind of film and who are the casts? Horror. Because it seems difficult to explain, I'll do it myself.

11. If you have to become one of the characters you've played before, who will you choose? Shishigami Hiro

12. Among of the movies created in the past, is there any movie you like to have acted in? (Anything from) Ghibli

13. Who would you like to meet the most right now? And what will you ask him/her? Hanyu (Yuzuru)-kun. "Do you want to join Amuse (Takeru's agency)?"

14. Anything you want to overcome in this year? Coughing out when sleeping

15. If you can go with your mom on a trip, where would you like to go? I don't know. I'll go where she would want to go

16. When you see food with the name you see for the first time, do you dare try? Or you tend to play safe? I tend to take the challenge.

17. If you can meet your 20-year-old self, what would you like to say? Nothing in particular

18. What kind of present you would like to receive in last year of Heisei-era? Speakers that can be used in bathroom

19. Where would you like to go on honeymoon? The world's best views

20. What would you like to do in your last day of your life? I don't want to know that day is the end of my life

21. If you can take a long holiday, what would you like to do? Watch movies. Escape room games.

22. I love Takeru-kun's singing voice. If someday you get to sing in your next project, do you want to do it? I don't mind

23. If you weren't in the entertainment world, what would you do? I imagined myself to study something related to science-field in university, but I don't know what to do next

24. What else you like in sushi other than Kohada (gizzard shad)? Between tuna and salmon, which one do you like? Tuna. I also like squid and uni (sea urchin). And also button shrimp

25. If you become an invisible person, what would you want to do? State secrets investigation

26. Favorite movie? Kimi no Na wa (Your name)

27. Do you like sweets? I like it but I rarely snacking

28. Favorite smell? Morning forest

29. What do you like in osechi (traditional Japanese new year food)? Kamaboko (fish cake)

30. Favorite manga? Tenshi na Konamaiki (Cheeky Angel) (note: he said in Yakai before that his first love is the heroine from this manga XD)

31. Do you like to go to onsen? Yes

32. If you have your own favorite/most disliked body parts, please tell us! I won't say because it's embarassing

33. Favorite color? Navy blue

34. Favorite kind of noodles? Cold soba

35. Favorite season? Winter

36. Do you like horumon (cuisine made from pork or beef offal)? I like it more than average people

37. You went to lots of places during filming or doing promotion for movies, do you have favorite region? Also please tell us if you have a must-eat food there! Hitsumabushi in Nagoya

38. If i remembered correctly, you've said that you like your home, is there any other place you like? I also like hotel

39. Any recommendation for foreign drama? Friends

40. Favorite novel? Shigatsu ni nareba Kanojo wa (also titled April Girlfriend - by Kawamura Genki)

41. What do you usually add when you eat medamayaki (fried egg)? Salt and pepper or Shoyu

42. What do you usually add when you eat freshly cooked white rice? Karashi (spicy) mentaiko

43. Please tell us your order of eating sushi! Omakase (literally meaning "I'll leave it up to you", a special course when the customer leaves it up to the chef to serve)

44. What are your memories of doing Kamen Rider? Commuting in a crowded train

45. Please tell us a happy episode from filming Den-O! We sometimes would go to Jojoen near Oizumi Studio

46. Who is your favorite Imajin from Den-O? Ura(taros)

47. If you act as (Nogami) Ryoutarou right now, what kind of person you think he will be? I think people will not change that much

48. If you have a child, what name will you give him/her? I think 2 letters would be nice

49. Among the actors-actresses you haven't co-starred with, who would you want to work together with? Fukatsu (Eri)-san

50. Among all of your projects, which role is the most fun/memorable? Rookies was fun

51. Do you still continue to learn English? Yes

52. Among all of roles you've played, was there a moment when you think it resembles yourself? Probably no

53. Is there any place inside Japan you want to go? Never-visited islands

54. Is there anything you want to learn right now? I want to learn to dance

55. When you first meet a person, what is the first thing you will look at? I got this question a lot and until now I don't know the answer. I wonder what I will look at first

56. What role you want to try this year? As a runaway child

57. Among all of your projects, is there anything you wouldn't want to watch? Basically I don't want to watch it. I don't watch most of it.

58. If you can do a sequel, is there a work you want to do? Rurouni, Kanouso, Gibomusu

59. Is there any villain role from movie/drama/manga/novel that you want to do? I'd like to if there's any (interesting roles)

60. Before you do a crying scene, how do you usually spend your time? Depends on the scene

61. What is your description of "Kakkoii"? Taking the initiative in what people hate, and don't show off your action

62. You said that you didn't like saba no misoni (mackerel with miso), was it because you didn't like mackerel itself? When I saw "saba no misoni" in school lunch menu, I would be very dissapointed. I like mackarel though.

63. If you got an offer for main cast in Taiga drama, will you take it? I like that kind of question where you don't think "If it's the main cast for Taiga I'll definitely do it"

64. Something to do to keep you healthy? Sleep 12 hours

65. Do you have any actor friends? Everyone that gave their comments in this book

66. How do you feel when you work in Rurouni Kenshin kiri (` ・ω・‘) (note: this is the actual answer (i only changed hiragana to romaji/alphabet), kiri/kiru is to cut/slash in japanese, so maybe he just felt like slashing ppl all the time XDD)

67. Something that makes you feel "I can die peacefully after doing this"? Become Ajin

68. What is the scariest thing in the world? Please see video original version of "Ju-on"

69. Have you seen Aurora? No

70. When you take a bath, what part of the body you washed first? Head

71. In what moment do you usually can be yourself the most? I am myself mostly everytime

72. If fans reach out to you in your private time, how far can we go e.g handshake/photograph? It'll be embarassing to take a photo, so only handshake is good

73. We always see Takeru-san in the acting side, do you ever think of creating a movie? If I create a movie, I also want to act in that movie

74. You showed us for a short moment in Horoyoi ads, but I want to hear more of your singing voice! Recently, is there any song that you will definitely sing in karaoke? Marigold, no I'm lying. I don't have such song.

75. You always give your best during promotions for dramas/movies, but was there any tough times? Ehh you're so kind.

76. You said that you want to take a break in this year because you've worked hard in last year, did that feeling change? It's not like I want to take break, but I think my exposure level is decreasing compared to last year

77. In Kanouso, during the moment when you weren't supposed to cry but tears suddenly fell down, how to control such emotion? I looked at her (Riko) face

78. Is there any actor/actress you admire? If I tell you, you will be more aware of that person, so because I don't want you to have such thought, I won't tell you.

79. How did you spend your time during 2019 new year? I watched Unnatural with my family at home

80. What is your special skill? Othello

81. Do you use perfume? I don't usually use it but because we're making it (as anniversary goods) this time so I'm using that.

82. When thinking about Takeru-kun, your image is strongly tied with solving riddles, how did you get into it? Also how much time did you spend in 1 day? My first time was when my friends invited me to play escape games. As long as time allows me to do it, I can do it all day.

83. Among all of Hanbun, Aoi cast, who is your best friend? Kan-chan (Suzume's daughter)

84. If you meet a person that you want to befriend, are you the type who reach out to him/her, or wait? Reach out

85. Regardless of gender, what kind of person you're not good at? People who makes mistakes

86. What is your decisive factor when choosing a project? Whether I want or I don't want to do it

87. By any chance, is Takeru-san the type of genius person with photographic memory? I'm not that kind of person

88. What do you sing when you go to karaoke? Radwimps

89. Do you do any muscle training? I do but depends on the timing

90. When you go out with somebody you like on a date, in what situation do you like? Autumn leaves

91. Has anybody said to you that you resemble someone (in entertainment world)? Shouhei's wife (Kiritani Mirei) (note: why he won't say her name directly XDD)

92. Do you have any age restriction for marriage? I'd like to do it in my 30s if I can

93. Why do you become "a man lost in love"? What a good word to express it. Love is not something you experience several times, isn't it?

94. What kind of hair type do you like for girl? I like natural, not shaped ones

95. In what moment do you think girls are cute? When you see they are excited when I choose her in SUGAR

96. When you found a girl you like, do you actively "attack" her? Of course if I like her

97. Do you like a woman who will casually do body touch, doing upward gaze, and sort of the aggresive type? I don't like it at all

98. In what moment you think you can't help but liking a girl? When she casually do body touch, do upward gaze (note: so which one do you actually like LOL -- refer to Q97)

99. Between older and younger woman, which one do you like? I like both

100. What kind of girl do you like? Girls with narrow "strike zone"

101. What is the minimum requirement for your partner to marry you? I no longer have such requirement

102. As a man, what do you think of a man who keeps looking at his phone, keeps looking at the clock when dating a woman? It's not a good thing to do, it's like he doesn't care about his partner.

103. What do you think about a fun and easygoing girl? Girls with good sense of humor are good

104. When you have a girlfriend, what kind of homemade food will you make for her? Miso soup

105. What kind of make up do you like for girls? As long as she doesn't overdo it

106. I have a person I can't forget even after so many years, Does Takeru-kun have that kind of experience? Yes for a few years, but I don't know what will happen for 10+ years

107. I called my nephews and nieces with nicknames. Does Takeru-kun have any nicknames you want to be called with? I like Takeru-san rather than Takeru-kun

108. What sound do you use as your alarm ringtone? Default settings

109. You have a really beautiful skin. Do you have any advice for it? Moisturizing

110. Any activities you've been into lately? Alternate baths (also called contrast bath therapy) (note: a kind of bath therapy where you alternate between hot and cold baths.)

111. Where do you usually go? Most recent is gym

112. Do you still hate caterpillars? Sorry, but yes

113. Do you cook? Do you have any specialities? Nope

114. Where and how you usually memorize your script? I usually memorize it with my costars moments before shooting in the set

115. For Takeru-san who loves reading, how do you usually choose books to read? I'd usually pick friends' recommendation

116. When you sleep do you prefer to turn on or off the lights? Turn off. I can't stand even the lights from humidifier

117. In what moment do you think it's nice being an actor? When people are being nice to you

118. Things like clothes, bags, shoes, is there anything that you have to make sure it's in good quality before you buy? Towel

119. If you have one full day with your beloved cats, what will you do? Cuddling its cheek

120. If you are being reborn as a cat, who do you want to take care of you? Do you want to play together with Kochirou and Puchirou in Satou's family house? Yes. (note: Kochirou and Puchirou are his beloved cats currently living in his parents' house)

121. If you can have one more cat, what name will you give? At least not names in katakana

122. Are you a dog person? Cat person? Cat

123. As a cat-lover, which part of a cat do you like? Face

124. What is your favorite Kochirou and Puchirou's pose? When they become rounded like a ball

125. If you can have a dog, what kind of dog do you like? Shiba-inu

126. Beside cat, do you have any other animals you'd like to have? Dolphin

127. Where do you want to live? Shiodome maybe

128. Have you give your mom presents from home bakery? Yes. I think you can also make mochi with those

129. If you're doing a solo trip, where will you go? Canada

130. How do you get along with Nobu-san (from Chidori)? We were working together in a variety show and I ask for his phone number

131. You were famous among the older people from long ago, what do you think about that? I don't really care about the age as long as I still got the "waa" and "kyaa"

132. In what moment do you feel happy? When I solved a riddle

133. What is your favorite song from Takahashi Yuu-kun? Hachigatsu Muika (August 6) (note: he sang this song in his 30th birthday event)

134. If you have to give a score for your acting career up until now, how many points out of 100? 60

135. In the future, can you create an event where fans can meet you directly? Yes

136. You've said before that because you can't tidy your room up so your mom had to visit your house to tidy things up, is it still the same now? I've become independent now

137. I'm still a kid, an elementary school student. When I talk about Kamen Rider, there are some kids who get along with me, but there also kids who call me weird. Is it alright that I still love Kamen Rider? Please tell me. I was also called weird by my friends in my school days so it will be alright

138. Do you plan to go to Kyoto in this year? I already go there few times

139. In what moment do you feel the happiest? I can't decide between the moment when I saw at Ruroken's (sales) performance or when I managed to clear an escape game challenge, or when I was in elementary school when I got into Yu-Gi-Oh, I got Summoned Skull from a booster pack.

140. Was there a moment when you cried while watching a movie? Usually I cried watching touching movies

141. Between the roles you've played almost simultaneously, such as Ritsu in Hanbun, Aoi, Mugita in Gibomusu, and Kazuo in Oku Otoko, which one is the most difficult to play? Kazuo

142. Recently, is there a moment when you laughed so hard? I was hitting my knees laughing while watching Aiseki Shokudou (Chidori's show) at home

143. Please tell us an episode from Kouhaku! When I hesitated to wave my penlight, but then I saw Nomura Mansai-san was waving his so I decided to follow

144. Please tell us your recommended places to visit from "Rurouni-hon Kumamoto e". Nature is always recommended. Negative ions are good for the body. (note: "Rurouni-hon Kumamoto e" was a book about Takeru doing a trip in Kumamoto, promoting places especially those which were affected by Kumamoto earthquake. A portion of the sales were donated to support Kumamoto recovery)

145. You said in the past that you couldn't sleep for a long time, how is it now? Hm it's complex but I think my internal body clock feels off

146. When telling our thoughts about your movies/dramas, do you have any preferred ways that makes you happy? When you shared it in the internet

147. My son is telling me that he wants to be a voice actor and wants to go to a vocational school. As a parent, should I support him? Did Takeru-kun get your parents' support when you want to be an actor? My parents had no objection at that time. It didn't cost me any money. By the way, do professional voice actors learn in vocational schools? I support him to become a voice actor, but I'm not sure if it's the right decision to enroll in a vocational school to become a voice actor.

148. Among all the places you've visited during your work or private trips, do you have any recommendation for us? Salar de Uyuni (note: he went to this place for X photobook)

149. When you watch a movie, do you prefer to read the original story first or straight to the movie? If I want to enjoy the movie, I'd watch the movie first. If I want to enjoy the book, I'd read the book first.

150. Can I hug you when I meet you? Maybe no

151. Do you use washing machine for drying your clothes? What will happen to your clothes after that? Wrinkled

152. What is the most important thing or person to you? People who put their faith in me

153. Are you looking forward to expand your career overseas? Rather than wanting to work in a Hollywood movie, I prefer to think more on how to make Japanese movies more visible to the world.

154. Is there anything you'd like to do in your 30s, any target or resolution? I have a few in mind, but I'll tell you when I manage to accomplish them

155. Please tell us about your vision of living your life from now on! I hope I can do more of what I want to do.

(pic: https://satohtakeru.amuseblog.jp/blog/2019/03/30th-anniversar-1c47.html)

[mattsammonsez]

Hockey’s Voice

Sometimes you meet people who embody everything you believe makes a good person. Mike “Doc” Emrick is one of those people, and I enjoyed the few times we interacted in the past 13 years.

Mike “Doc” Emrick in his second home. 

When you work in sports broadcasting, your path crosses with the paths of a lot of prominent people, including athletes, coaches, and executives. It’s all part of the job, and admittedly one of the many perks that comes with the territory. While it’s fun to cross paths with these people, there are a select few where you feel blessed that your paths crossed. Mike “Doc” Emrick is one of those people, and you always felt like you knew him and he knew you all your life even if your real life interaction was only 5 minutes. With the announcement from Emrick earlier this week that he is retiring from calling NHL games, I wanted to share a few stories about the times my path fortunately and blessedly crossed with Doc’s.

Like many people my age, we got to know Doc on a regular basis on national television. For me, it was his weekly appearances on the NHL on Fox game of the week in the mid 90’s, as well as numerous New Jersey Devils highlights earlier in the decade as that team was building into a dominant team. In 2005, Doc became the primary voice on the NHL on OLN broadcasts (later Versus, then NBC Sports Network). In 2006, I became the pregame host of Tampa Bay Lightning radio broadcasts, and as I started to settle into my role that season I started gaining new job duties. One of those duties was to pull together guest interviews for our weekly radio show Lightning Hockey Night. In the 2007 playoffs, the Lightning drew the Devils in the first round, and thus my first interaction with Doc would happen as I was trying to get a guest for the program.

We weren’t looking to get Doc on the show as a live guest, but with Doc at the time still calling Devils games I figured he’d be the perfect guest for the show as he was a well-known voice and face even to hockey fans in Florida. Before the morning skate of game 4 with the Lightning up 2-1 in the series, I introduced myself to Doc and asked him if I could get him for just a few minutes to talk about the series. He said he could, and we continued with our usual morning skate routine for the next couple of hours. I hung around the rink until the Devils were done with their skate, and after the locker rooms were closed to the media I approached Doc again to see if he was still able to do a quick interview. This was close to 1 p.m., and with a game starting at 7 or 7:30 that night Doc had plenty of prep to do. Plus his color analyst, the humorous Glenn “Chico” Resch was hungry and wanted lunch. Yet when I politely asked, Doc without hesitation obliged and we sat down in the stands for a few minutes to discuss the series. It was such a special moment, and such a fun interview, I’ve saved it 13 years and counting.

Emrick yucking it up as Jim Carr, the carpet-coiffed play-by-play announcer for the Johnstown Jets in the cult classic film Slap Shot, at Hockeyville USA, 2015.

Fast forward to September 2015. I’m now the Director of Broadcasting & Programming for the Lightning, and I’m on the team plane to Johnstown, Pennsylvania, as the Lightning and Penguins will be squaring off in the first Kraft Hockeyville USA preseason game. Game day was hectic, as the NHL and NBC rolled out the red carpet not only for both teams but for as much Slap Shot as possible since Johnstown was the location of the film shoot 40 years earlier. Along with being that night’s radio engineer for our broadcast, my mission was to pull together as many interviews as possible for a podcast on the event. Knowing the legendary Hanson Brothers would be there, I targeted an interview with them which I was able to score. 

The Cambria County War Memorial Arena was opened in 1950, when comforts such as being able to stretch your legs were not baked into many civic building blueprints. In a tiny locker room I waited for the Hansons to come in, and I did so next to Doc who agreed to also do an interview with me once I was done with the Hansons. The Hansons came in, and not only played the part of their characters well for my interview, but they too were incredibly friendly and great to talk to. While the interview went on, there was that brief fleeting moment in my head; “I’m interviewing three of the greatest hockey movie characters while one of the greatest hockey announcers is sitting in the background watching this.” Quite the moment to say the least. After my conversation with the Hansons, I sat down with Doc to talk to him about what the game meant to him, a former college teacher and newspaper writer in Western Pennsylvania 45 years earlier. You could sense in Doc’s eyes and voice this Hockeyville experience in his old backyard with all the Slap Shot fun and frivolity mixed in was quite the moment for him. The Hanson Brothers and Doc interviews were the cornerstone of my podcast, and all these years later it’s still one of my favorite podcasts of more than 100 I did.

Emrick could make any broadcast better, including a Morning Skate Show in desperate need of some good news in 2018.

Fast forward to May 2018. We’re not in the preseason, we’re in the thick of the postseason, and the Lightning are about to battle the Washington Capitals in the Eastern Conference Final. Prior to game one at the morning skate, Doc and I are two of seemingly 200 people gathering around Alex Ovechkin for pregame interviews. We looked on from a distance, laughing more at the spectacle then actually listening to anything Ovechkin was saying. When the scrum was done, I casually asked Doc if we could have him as a guest on our streaming video program The Morning Skate Show when the series shifted to Washington D.C. for game 3. Doc said he wanted to, we just needed to route the request through NBC public relations, which is always a coin flip on if your wish gets granted. Thankfully for us, it was.

Never before did we need a personality like Doc Emrick like we did then. The Caps humiliated the Lightning for two easy wins in Tampa before the series went to our nation’s capital. In planning for the show, we decided to talk as little as possible about the first two games, and simply turn the show into the Doc Emrick talent show. For almost 45 minutes, Doc talked about everything from the NHL playoffs to memories of AHL games in Halifax 40 years ago when birds in the rafters of the old Halifax Forum pooped on the ice during games. At the end of the show he very quietly but confidently reminded our viewers that if any team was able to get out of 0-2 hole to the Caps, it was the Lightning. It was the reassurance and the fun story telling we all needed, and low and behold the Lightning rallied for three-straight wins before the Caps pulled it together and won the series in seven games on their way to their first Stanley Cup championship. As of 2019, it was still one of the most-watched episodes of the show.

Finally, fast forward to October 2019. Two months earlier, I was informed my position was being “eliminated” at the Lightning, but I refused to be eliminated from the scene. Newly hired to provide a weekly Metro Express podcast to the Philadelphia Flyers (and later the Capitals), I arrived at Amalie Arena for a morning skate prior to a Lightning and Penguins game that was being aired nationally on NBC that night. Once I found out Doc was on the call, I knew I needed to get him for a few minutes to talk Metropolitan Division hockey. I saw Doc sitting in the first couple of rows of seats when I arrived, and I quickly slipped in next to him and asked if I could get his thoughts real quickly. Doc was there to study lines and defensive pairings of both teams, and now at the age of 74 had to double-check all players and facts before putting on another flawless broadcast that night. I was very respectful of his time, and as always he was respectful enough to grant me a few minutes of his busy day.

While there were many similarities to that first interview with Doc in 2007, this time around technology would come back to bite me. Feeling satisfied my iPhone would work as a microphone just fine, I started the interview. Midway through Doc’s first answer, my phone started ringing, cutting off the voice memo app I was using. Thankfully I silenced my phone so it merely buzzed, but in my head I was cursing while Doc was talking. There was no way I was going to ask him to start over again, I was just going to have to eat the moment as I feverishly hung up on the call and pressed record on the voice memo again. While I did this without interrupting Doc’s thoughts, I still got a good 7-8 minutes from him and used it in that week’s show. It was special to connect with Doc again, and I was reminded even as a veteran hockey broadcaster at this time to never ever again do an important interview on my iPhone.

Doc’s retirement announcement didn’t come totally as a surprise to me. I figured with COVID-19 still a factor in our lives for at least the next year or two, the last place a 75-year-old cancer survivor needs to be is in a pressurized airplane cabin or travelling from one cold city to another in the winter. And even though Doc is a pro’s pro, it’s extremely difficult to call a game from a television screen. Whoever is named his successor at NBC has some very big shoes to fill. 

As for me, my career has moved forward from my exit with the Lightning, and while potentially great things await I don’t know if I’ll be able to cover a daily beat in an NHL arena anytime soon. That’s perfectly fine with me, as I’m always looking for a new challenge and can’t wait to see what is ahead for me and my family. That also adds even more emotional value to the times my path crossed with Doc’s path. Hockey fans have been blessed to have him as a prime voice for decades, and I was blessed to interact with him several times in my career. A visit from this doctor was always welcome in the homes and hearts of hockey fans.

[queenmylovely]

The Law of Attraction i

Summary: John deacon x fem!reader. Your first week of classes with Professor Deacon.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: little bit of awkwardness, cussing (probably)

A/N: This is the first part of a probably miniseries or two-parter to fill the request I got. I just am incapable of not writing some backstory I guess. Side note: this takes place in the present but John is in his late 30′s. For you, anon, don’t worry, spicy things are coming soon! I hope you all enjoy, and any feedback including likes, replies, reblogs and asks are greatly appreciated! Requests are open!

Request: idk if you write for prof!deaky but like… i’d be so down for that. 

Part ii, Part iii*, Masterlist 

(look at this picture, what the fuck)

💥💥💥

In your junior year of university, you had finally decided on your major after switching between math and physics. You had definitively chosen electrical engineering. While you had enjoyed math and physics, they were much too focused on theoretical equations than on real-world objects, which is where you found most of your interest.

The problem solving and designing aspects of electrical engineering were what had appealed to you the most. You could plug input into equations and get the correct answers in your sleep, so creating was what would challenge you in the way you wanted to be.

Since you had taken all of the math and physics prerequisites already, you were able to jump straight into the engineering classes and labs right away in the fall of your junior year. When you had registered in the spring prior, you had wanted to keep two days empty so that you could have days free for your part-time job at the admin office. This had somehow ended up in you having five classes between three different professors. Two of the professors you had only one class each with, which meant you had three classes with the same professor. Your days off from classes had landed on Mondays and Fridays, which you thought would be good bookends to your pretty heavy Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Plus, the admin job would be good for starting and/or finishing homework when it was slow.

_____

The first Monday of the semester was spent getting a quick brief on your duties as administrative assistant. It seemed like it would be pretty simple; answering phones, putting appointments into the computer’s calendar, scheduling tours, and directing people to the correct offices around campus. They also said that you were free to do homework in your down time.

That Monday was pretty busy though, which was okay since you didn’t have any homework aside from printing out the syllabus. (Which you might have used the office printer to do.)

You had some pretty frantic-looking students asking questions about how to change their classes or where to find their professor’s office. Since you were a junior and had changed your major twice, you were pretty fluent with all of the forms and were able to answer their questions easily. You went home around 5:00, which, with the hour lunch, made for an eight hour day. Since you were taking 16 engineering credits, you felt pretty good with working 16 hour weeks.

Tuesday you started with a System Modeling and Control class that was 75 minutes long, and started at 9:00. The professor seemed nice, which was good, but you were more worried about the professor you had later that day since he was the one you had three classes with. Two of which were labs of no more than 25 students. First, though, you had an Electromagnetic Theory lecture with him on Tuesday and Thursdays.

The class was at 10:30, which meant you had fifteen minutes to walk down the hall from your first class. You figured you would at least get a good seat.

Walking from room 215, you counted the numbers on either side of the hall until you reached 220. The door was cracked open with a rubber door stop and you looked through the crack to see that it was empty. There must not have been a class in there yet. You pushed the door open and walked in, seeing there were actually a couple people there on the edges. The room was lecture style, but pretty small with only four rows with 10 seats each going up from the floor. There was a lectern in the middle of three blackboards that had been wiped completely clean. You nodded at the other students as they looked up at you, but chose to sit in the middle of the front row. Since you were probably getting a later start to electrical engineering than most, you wanted to be front and center to absorb as much information as possible. And perhaps you were a bit of a teacher’s pet at times.

You pulled out the fresh, three subject, college ruled, spiral notebook you had gotten for this course and a mechanical pencil. Labeling the first page “Electromagnetic Theory,” you then flipped the page and wrote the date. You also took out the syllabus for the class and skimmed over it again while you waited for the professor and the rest of the class to get there.

Students slowly trickled in, most opting for the edges of the room and a couple joining you in the front row, but still near the sides. Once it hit 20 past, the professor walked in. He was on the taller side, a man in his late thirties from what you could tell, with brown hair that was shorter on the sides and longer and kind of curly on top. He was pretty handsome, in kind of a dorky way. He was wearing a plaid button down shirt tucked into jeans with a black belt and dad sneakers. You giggled at that last part and found your eyes drifting to his left hand to see if there was a ring there. There wasn’t. You shook your head slightly at yourself. He was your professor, and your professor with who you will be spending over five hours a week, and a crush will not make it any easier to learn, you had to remind yourself.

Just before class started, a rush of ten students came in at once, and one finally filled the spot next to yours. The two of you said hi and exchanged names (hers was Sarah), and were starting to talk about majors until you heard a loud scraping sound. The class turned their heads to the front of the room to see the professor pushing the lectern all the way against the wall. He finished and faced forward, noticing that the class had its eyes on him.

“Well, since I’ve got your attention, I might as well start,” he said with a smile and the class chuckled. “As it says in your syllabus, I am Professor Deacon, but as I know some of you know by your familiar faces, I am often referred to as ‘Deaky,’” he said, putting air quotes around the nickname, which earned another laugh.

“You can call me whichever you prefer, because I really don’t care. Alright, so obviously this is the class for Electromagnetic Theory, so if you’re in the wrong room, go ahead and leave now, we won’t judge,” he paused for a second and when no one moved, continued. “Good, we can get started.”

That first class was spent going through the syllabus mostly, and outlining the type of assignments and materials everyone would need for the course. He had a pretty dry sense of humor, and cracked jokes throughout the class, which helped to put everyone at ease. That being said, it seemed like it would be a very technical and involved class, and the assignments would require a lot of time and were process-heavy. Professor Deacon highly encouraged using his office hours for help or to answer any questions, and you made sure to highlight when they were on your syllabus.

When the class came to an end and everyone was packing up, you chatted to Sarah about it.

“Have you had Professor Deacon before?” you asked her.

“Oh, yeah, I had him for Introduction to Electric Circuits my freshman year. He’s a nice guy, and not too tough a grader. Everyone does really call him Deaky, just so you know,” she answered with a smile.

You nodded, “Good to know.”

She left for her next class and you said goodbye to each other before you walked down to the front of the class where Professor Deacon was.

He was writing something down in a little agenda and you stood waiting for him to finish when he looked up and saw you. “Hello,” he said cheerfully.

“Hi. I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” you said, extending your hand for a handshake. His hand met yours and shook it firmly, and you didn’t miss how warm it was against yours. “I just wanted to introduce myself because I’ll be in both of your labs tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s you. I had noticed that there was a student on all three of my rosters. Did I have a really good rating on ratemyprofessor?” he joked.

You laughed lightly and responded, “I couldn’t say. I just declared as Electrical Engineering at the end of last semester, so I have some catching up to do.”

“Really? Most people would have a lot of prereqs to get through first. What was your major before?” he asked warmly.

“Well, first it was math my freshman year and then it was physics last year,” you explained a bit sheepishly.

Professor Deacon didn’t seem to think there was anything unusual about changing your major three times however, and just smiled a toothy smile and said, “Ah, that makes sense. Well, welcome to the department, and I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Thank you. See you tomorrow,” you smiled back before turning around and walking out the door. You were relieved that the professor you would be seeing so much of this semester was nice, although weren’t sure you would be able to bring yourself to call him Deaky.

_____

The syllabus for the labs had said to only bring a folder, pen or pencil, and to wear at least short sleeves, long pants, and closed toed shoes, all of which you had to be willing to get dirty. As you got ready in the morning, you pulled on a faded pair of jeans, a shirt you had used in the past when painting, and your old pair of tennis shoes. You grabbed a jacket to wear over your clothes as you walked through campus and headed out with just a shoulder bag instead of the backpack you normally took to class.

You drove over to campus and parked in the engineering building’s parking lot. You had bought the parking pass for that building since three of your classes were in it, but hadn’t realized that the engineering labs were in a different building on the other side of campus until the day before. You sighed as you turned your car off, knowing you had close to a twenty minute walk, but put on your headphones, turned on some good music, and started walking over.

The building was old and the cinder blocks were painted white, though you could tell from where it was peeling that it had had many coats over the years of varying colors. You had heard from someone in your Computer Science class (which was an hour after your first with Professor Deacon on Tuesdays and Thursdays) that the building used to be the main Engineering building until the university got an endowment for the new, fancy one. Looking at the building, you thought that it must have been pretty cramped since there were only three large rooms and four little ones, which had since been turned into professors’ offices and what could be called the lobby with a check-in desk and no one behind it. There were two offices for the professors whose names you didn’t recognize and they were both of the left side of the building, opposite of the labs. The last one was on the right side, in between the furthest lab and the “lobby” itself, and had a nameplate labeled “John Deacon.”

Each of the lab rooms were designated for a different type of lab. Lab A was filled with cars and engines which you assumed was for mechanical or automotive engineering, Lab B was filled with drafting materials and models which you assumed was for civil engineering, and Lab C was filled with old computers and motors, which was exactly where you were supposed to be.

There were a couple people already in the room, milling about and chatting to each other. You were glad to see Sarah and went up to her to say hi. Looking around at everyone, the two of you laughed at how you all looked more like house painters than engineering students.

“I’m not entirely sure how our clothes would get dirty, but I guess it’s better safe than sorry,” she commented to you.

“I don’t know, maybe if we accidentally blow something up or it catches on fire, the smoot won’t ruin our clothes?” you guessed and the two of you laughed.

“I for one, wasn’t planning on any explosions, but I guess I know to keep a close eye on you now, Y/N,” said a voice from behind you on your right. Sarah and you whipped around to see Professor Deacon standing right there with a smirk on his face. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and Sarah had to hide her giggles behind her hand.

“I-I’m- that was just a joke,” you stammered out.

“Hmmm, I guess we’ll see,” Professor Deacon said, walking to where there was a chalkboard at the front of the lab. Before he turned completely away, though, he shot you a wink that eased your nerves about the joke you made, but for some reason sent a shock of adrenaline (or something else) through your body at the same time.

The rest of the lab went better. Professor Deacon started with introductions of everyone since it was a smaller class and people should definitely know each other by the end of the semester. He then went over the lab and safety procedures, congratulating everyone for their proper attire. He himself was wearing these old carpenter pants that looked straight out of a 90’s catalogue and an oversized t-shirt that seemed like it was a souvenir from Bali but had grease stains all over it. And he was wearing the same sneakers as the day before. You couldn’t help but think it was kinda cute that he wore the same sneakers all the time.

He also took everyone on a little tour of the lab building, starting with Lab A and B briefly and then a more indepth look at a room only accessible through the rear of the building. It was a storage/equipment room that housed a bunch of scrap metal, lumber, spare parts, abandoned student projects, and tools. Everything in there was for free use of students of all labs to work on their projects and the projects for the department. To a bunch of engineering students, it was a treasure trove.

Finally, he took everyone back to Lab C and pointed out all of the stations and larger equipment in the big room. After the tour, he had everyone do a little exercise with some of the tools to get acquainted with them. By the time everyone had completed the exercise, the two hours and forty-five had pretty much elapsed and Professor Deacon let everyone head out a little early.

Of course, since you were in his next lab that took place in 15 minutes, you stayed. And, it seemed that you were the only one in both of these labs, so you stood around awkwardly as everyone left. You were about to grab your phone from your pocket when you heard his voice.

“So you didn’t blow anything up, I’m relieved,” he teased from behind you.

You turned around to see him smirking yet again and laughed lightly before replying, “I mean, it’s only been the first part of the first day so I wouldn’t take your eyes off me just yet.”

There was a beat when both of you realized what that sounded like and you saw Professor Deacon’s ears get pink as you felt your neck heat up. Your eyes widened and you determinedly did not make eye contact.

Trying to relieve the tension, he cleared his throat and said, “Anyway, I’m sorry, but you’re about to have the same exact lab in 15 minutes. I would say you could leave but then you wouldn’t meet everyone else, and there are a couple different things that I talk about.”

You were glad that he changed the subject, and further tried to get things back to normal, “That’s okay. I’ll have a leg up on everyone when we try out the equipment.”

The two of you laughed, and you couldn’t help noticing what a nice laugh he had, “That’s the spirit. They’ll be baffled at your ability to use the air compressor slightly better than they can.”

“Hey, I was the best and fastest in the class just now. It might not have been a competition, but you know it’s true,” you said, still smiling, but pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“You’re very passionate. I like that in a… student,” he said, matching your intense gaze. Neither of you had time to think about his hesitation before saying “student” because a group of your classmates walked in at that moment.

Looking down at his watch, he noticed that it was only five minutes before class started, and he walked away, giving you a nod, to go grab the lab rules handouts.

You watched him walk away and sighed to yourself. It seemed the crush you were trying to fend off wasn’t going anywhere, and with all this time spent with him, was only continuing to grow.

💥💥💥

Taglist: @somekindof-cheese @gwilyoubemine @deacytits @supersonicfreddie @siriuslovesmarlene @bowiequeen @acdeaky @deakysgirl @sunflower-borhap-boys @deakyfordays @queensilveryrog @happy-at-home @ceruleanrainblues @briarrose26 @bensrhapsody @painkiller80 

I just kinda created this taglist so if you would like to be taken off or added, just send me a message or ask!

Reminder that my requests are open! If you would like something in a sort of one shot format/length or blurb, etc. send it in! I’ll write for any of the Borhap or Queen boys (Freddie only platonically), Lucy, Patrick Murray, Gardner Langway and adult!Tim Murphy or possibly any of the other characters these people have played if I know enough about them!

[ivycrossing0101010]

100 Days to Animal Crossing Challenge!

In the spirit of the countdown to New Leaf (remember when? :’) ), and to help  wile away the days, here’s 100 questions for every day until New Horizons is here! Enjoy!

1. Do you prefer making up a new name for your villager, or using your own name? I always name my villager after myself. I go for the immersion!

2. Do you use the first map you’re given, or do you reset for layouts? I used to reset for layouts, until I started hacking. In New Horizons, I'll just be resetting for fruit!

3. Do you use the face you’re given, or do you wait for guides and choose your favourite? I would look for guides. Even with hacking, it's easier to just start with the face you want.

4. Favourite town/island name?/Have you a name picked out for your town/island? My favorite town name that I've seen so far is Lunaire. I don't want to share my town name just yet. It's nothing revolutionary or anything but its personal I guess?

5. Will you be sharing with friends/family, or is your island going to be all your own? I will be having my own island! My husband will have his own island as well. He says we'll spend most of our time in my island though lol

6. What’s a new feature you’re excited about? T E R R A F O R M

7. Favourite fruit? Peaches!

8. Least favourite fruit? Pears!

9. Favourite area? (Beach, campground, shopping district etc, from any entry in the series.) My favorite place was the wishing well in ACPG. So cute and sweet. As much as I loved the plaza in ACNL, it's got nothing on the original!

10. Where do you like to like to put your house? Do you like that level of customization, or do you prefer to have some things decided, like in older entries? I like to put my house near waterfalls, its relaxing and good for fishing! I could never get my house near the water in older games, so it was a nice change in ACNL.

11. Favourite grass pattern? Personally, I never really notice the grass patterns!

12. Least favourite grass pattern? See #11 :v

13. Favourite villager/s? My fav villagers are Skye and Punchy 💕

14. Least favourite villager/s? I hate Elise the Monkey

15. Did you like doing Tom Nook’s chores, or did you find those to be a pain? I used to find them a pain as a kid but I miss them now. It was so much more engaging!

16. Favourite NPC/s? My fav would have to be KK. He's such a cool dude, he's just full of nostalgia for me.

17. Least favourite NPC/s? I don't really have a least favorite? I guess Katie's mom, her lipstick is tacky imo

18. Do you use paths? Are you excited about the new path tool? With hacking, I use clover paths so they're easier to see on the editor. I can't wait to have real paths, though!

19. Favourite feature from an older entry? The festivities! The neighbors were so much more engaged in ACPG, ACNL is sorta boring in comparison.

20. What was your first Animal Crossing game? My first was ACPG, the gamecube one!

21. Favourite activity (fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, other)? Fishing was always exciting AND relaxing for me

22. Least favourite activity? Fossil hunting, but only because I don't get immediately results and I'm impatient lol

23. Favourite bug? Even though I don't like these irl, snails hehe

24. Least favourite bug? Scorpions and tarantulas, only because I've almost never encountered them in ANY game

25. A quarter of the way there! How’s the wait? Agonizing

26. Favourite fish? It's not actually a fish, but I like the softshell turtle!

27. Least favourite fish? The napoleon fish, that big blue one -.-

28. Favourite fossil? The ammonite!

29. Least favourite fossil? Don't really have one lol

30. Favourite furniture series? I've always liked the flower set you get from Leif and the mush set, so cute!

31. Least favourite furniture series? The holiday specific ones, they're so tacky and boring!

32. Favourite soundtrack? (Gamecube, DS/Wii, etc) Gamecube for sure

33. Least favourite soundtrack? Honestly, ACNL. Don't dig the steel drum

34. Favourite wallpaper? The ivy wall hehe

35. Do you have a nice memory of the games/community etc you’d like to share? I didn't really have too much interaction with the community until recently! I just gained a bunch of followers and it's super flattering lol I want to become more involved!

36. Least favourite wallpaper? Cheese...

37. Favourite carpet? I personally love the old board flooring, so simple and rustic!

38. Least favourite carpet? CHEESE

39. Favourite furniture item? The fairy bottle from the Welcome Amiibo update!

40. Will you be buying a Switch for Animal Crossing, or do you already have one? I'm trading in my old switch for the slick new Animal Crossing Switch!

41. Least favourite furniture item? The ultra things that you can get from Redd, so useless!

42. Favourite flower? Carnations!

43. Least favourite flower? Cosmos!

44. Favourite hybrid? Blue roses for sure

45. Least favourite hybrid? Any cosmos

46. Favourite shirt? The denim shirt, long sleeve

47. Favourite dress? I like the raincoat

48. Favourite accessory? Silver frames!

49. Favourite hat/helmet? The keroppi pins

50. Halfway there! How’s the wait going? Pretty numb!

51. Favourite shop? Dream Suite! So much fun visiting towns!

52. Do you collect amiibo cards/figures? Would you like to see them used in the new game? I have all the amiibo cards are all my fav neighbors, and about have of the total amiibo cards that exist. Idk if I'll use them right away and get all my favs or if I'll let my town naturally fill up and then switch folks out yet

53. Fishing Tourney or Bug-Off? Fishing Tourney, I like fishing more

54. Do you like making your own clothing patterns? I used to, but ACPC made me appreciate the already made in game clothes

55. Did you streetpass with many other ACNL players, or is it a feature you didn’t get much use of? I don't get much use out of it nowadays but I would always come back from conventions with a full showcase when I was younger

56. Favourite villager species? Cats!

57. Least favourite villager species? Monkeys

58. Favourite nickname from a villager? I don't really remember the nicknames I got

59. Least favourite nickname from a villager? I also always hated them!

60. Do you try to collect everything in the game, or just try to get your favourite bits and pieces? Bits and pieces for sure

61. Favourite villager personality? Normal and lazy

62. Least favourite villager personality? Jock

63. Do you “plot reset” for villager house placement, or do you let them move in wherever they want? During my first playthrough of ACNL, I didn't. Then I started doing it when I learned about it. Then I started hacking!

64. Are you excited to wear any of the new accessories (like the bags etc shown in the E3 trailer)? ACPC sorta spoiled that stuff for me, they're still very much appreciated though

65. What season are you most looking forward to seeing in New Horizons? Spring!! 🌸🌸🌸

66. What’s your favourite season? Spring again hehe

67. Least favourite season? Summer, kinda boring

68. Which game’s events/holidays do you like the most? Ones that are actually engaging with you and the neighbors

69. Which game’s events/holidays do you like least? Days like solstices, which just served as "Isabelle is unavailable" Days

70. Do you have another nice AC related memory you’d like to share (in-game, of the community, etc)? When ACPG came out, I was about 6. I had a DVD with those lame live action commercials and I was ENAMORED with them! Obsessed! I begged my parents for the game and they would hem and haw "well there's a lot of reading... you'll have to get better at reading... we won't always be able to help you read it..." and I swore up and down that I'd learn and practice reading. Obviously, nearly 20 years later, I'm still completely obsessed

71. Do you prefer the “live” versions of K.K. Slider’s Songs, or the airchecks? I like both but for different reasons. The live versions are nice and nostalgic and the air checks are closer to the aesthetic that they're actually trying to portray

72. An NPC you’d like to see more of? Farley and Serena!

73. An NPC you’d like to see less of? None in particular, everyone is pretty well designed imo

74. If you could have any piece of AC merchandise, which would it be? I once saw a cute bento box with pics from the movie, my soul died knowing I may never find it to buy anywhere

75. Only 25 days left to go! How’s the wait? Still numb!

76. Will you be downloading the game, or getting a physical copy? I'm getting a physical copy and my husband is getting a digital, so he can't be tempted to sell it!

77. Do you like coming up with your own town tune/flag, or using what the game gives you/something from a book/tv show/other game, etc? I like doing a sort of japanese "end of school" bell for my town tune, only for the town clock. Idk how I'm gonna do it in this game though...

78. Do you play every day, or every other day/when you feel like it/other? I used to play ACNL everyday, then it got a bit boring. I'm gonna play ACNH literally everyday forever lol

79. Are you the kind of person who starts over after leaving their town for a really long time, or do you try to get right back to it? I tend to restart a lot, but I recently decided to leave my ACNL town with no regrets so I hacked the crap out of it without feeling tacky or cringy

80. Do you remember how you got into the Animal Crossing series? It immediately caught my eye as a 6 year old and its had its grasp on me since

81. Do you like to make up a story for the town/character when you play, or do you just play as yourself? I play as myself but I sorta make a bunch of headcanons for myself and my neighbors and stuff to make it more interesting for me. Sometimes its embarrassing and sometimes I need to tell the people!

82. Favourite dream address / “theme” for a town (pastel, fairytale, forest, horror, etc)? My favorite town has always been Pastelia, although the mayor's name is escaping me atm >m<"

83. Do you like to have your house fully upgraded/paid off, or do you like keeping it smaller/having fewer rooms? I used to fully upgrade my house all the time but my current ACNL house only have 4 rooms and that's IT

84. Favourite hairstyle? The one with the middle split and it goes behind the ears

85. Least favourite hairstyle? The three ponytails, rip ACWW me

86. Favourite hair colour? I go either pink or my natural brown

87. Least favourite hair colour? That bright green...

88. Do you prefer wearing in-game clothes, or custom designs? In game clothes!

89. Favourite hourly track? 2 pm from ACPG

90. Just ten more days! How’re you feeling? Half paid off my new switch, so ready!

91. Least favourite hourly track? I don't think I have one!

92. Do you prefer to know all about the game before designing your town/island/house, or do you like to wing it? Bro, I've been glued to my phone since the direct came out

93.  Another nice Animal Crossing memory? ACNL came out around the time my husband and I started dating, almost exactly at the same time. Now its 8 years later, we're married, and we're gonna play another animal crossing game together finally!

94. Are you excited about same-system multiplayer? Its gonna be great for a lot of people, kinda useless for me though

95. Five more days! Are you going to trade/use amiibo to get your favourite villager, or wait for them to move in themselves/make a new favourite? I think I'll put in my 2 top favs, and then see what comes. Maybe after a few months I'll put everyone in

96.  Favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? I don't really like his jokes, but my fav emotions to use are the bashful ones

97.  Least favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? Not a fan of his dopey dance

98.  Is there a feature you’d like to add to Animal Crossing? I wanna be able to decorate for my neighbors so badly!

99.  Is there a feature you’d take away? It kinda seems like a lot of issues were solved in ACNH, I guess we'll see what's leftover as an annoying feature

100. Final day! Any more thoughts? Midnight release at my local gamestop! Gonna be there with a bunch of DOOM fans too! Can't wait!!

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.28-32, QF Mega-Blog

What better thing to do, when forced to stay at home during the outbreak of a global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it, than catch up on watching and writing about the quiz show whose previous four episodes you had missed for various reasons, all of which seem frivolous following the outbreak of a global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it. Also, I kept seeing that Twitter meme about Shakespeare having written King Lear during the plague quarantine and fancied getting involved.

Its also the only sport of any kind that can be found on TV for love nor money (apart from the Turkish Superlig, which for some reason thinks itself immune). Maybe the Premier League should try out pre-recording like the Challenge, for precisely this kind of situation. Just get Salah, De Bruyne and all the boys together for a few kick-abouts, film a few goals and slide tackles and all that, and keep the footage for a rainy day. Or send a camera round Serena Williams’ gaff, log a couple of serves and forehands, cut it together - BOOM, there’s your Wimbledon final if Greta decides tennis is too carbon-heavy.

All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen University Challenge postponed due to a  global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it (although, as I write this I’m realising that the recordings of next years show will probably be delayed. Shit)

Episode 28 - Courtauld vs Imperial

Whenever I’ve not written one of these for a while it takes me a while to figure out what the heck it is I’m doing. Like, what do I usually write about? How have I managed to put out 118 of these? Do you reckon Shakespeare felt the same way when he was between plays - would he sit down with his quill and parchment and wonder aloud, ‘What the fuck is an iambic pentameter and how do I find one?’ (If I 1: knew the answer to that question; and 2: could be bothered, then I would have written that question in iambic pentameter, but you should know by now you’re dealing with one lazy blogger).

Anyway, Imperial had blazed aside all before them in the opening two rounds, thanks in no small part to the efforts of mercurial star Brandon, whose laconic style has drawn unfair criticism as arrogance. Thats how it always goes with the social media juries though - if a contestant displays any level of confidence above the bare minimum then they’re too big for their boots. But then if they grin and seem really happy when they get an answer that’ll probably annoy some people too. Almost as if they can’t win and there’s no point playing this game to appease the kind of people who get annoyed at kids on quiz shows.

The Courtauld side fall into the grinning category. They all four of them seem genuinely delighted to be on the show, and even more delighted that they managed to win two matches and make it to the quarter finals - their second round defeat of Glasgow a particularly impressive performance.

Glasgow were a good side, but Imperial are a different gravy, and Courtauld, after a neg on the opening question, seem like rabbits in the headlights (when they should have been at home, the whole country’s on lockdown, dammit Peter!) as Brandon sycthes down question after question, fearful to fall further below zero in case they can’t make it back up again.

For a while it looked as though that might end up being the case, as Imperial pranced into a hundred point lead within six questions, but Haigh finally stopped the rot, and Courtauld would add some respectability over the rest of the episode. In truth, it was clear from that point onwards that the race had been run, and Brandon seemed to relax from thereon out, and his teammates picked up the slack, though that seems like doing them a disservice, as they all seem very accomplished in their own right.

Final Score: Courtauld 75 - 240 Imperial

Episode 29 - Trinity, Cam vs Corpus Christi, Cam

Right, on to the next, and for Ep 29 we had our first Cam-Cam slugfest of the series. There had already been plenty of Ox-Cam derbies of course, you can’t move for them half the time, but no inter-collegiate battles thus far. Whoever won would become the first side to reach the semi-finals, with Trinity having beaten Manchester and Corpus Wolfson in their respective opening quarter final clashes.

Stewart, who doesn’t look like he would be out of place in the Byzantine Empire, gets Corpus off the mark with ‘Byzantine’ (I have basically no idea what this comparison would actually mean, or if it is in fact a sick burn, but I feel like he has an old-timey medieval look about him and felt like this should not go unaddressed. Like, he wouldn’t look strange wearing a tunic, would he?).

Russell and Wang increased the lead before Hughes got Trinity into the game with what looked like a semi-guess on a maths-y starter. Paxman, who clearly enjoys toying with the Corpus captain, then gets Wang for the second match in a row with a double serving of Boomer sarcasm. When Wang rather dejectedly says, ‘Its not Isaac Asimov, is it? No’, the quizmaster further interrogates him as to whether he was giving a question or an answer, much in the way an irritating geography teacher would parrot ‘Of course you can go to the toilet, the question is whether or not you may’. He’s right though, and Corpus gobble up two more bonuses on sci-fi writers.

Another starter went to Stewart, and a first for Gunasekera. Corpus were starting to look comfortable, but a brief flurry from Trinity around the music round looks like it might bring them into contention. But that’s all it was, the briefest of flurries, like that random day in April or October where someone says ‘is it snowing?, and you all look out of the window, but before you can actually work out if it really was snowing or if it was some sort of white rain, its stopped.

Corpus stretch their legs now, and find themselves beyond two hundred points before Trinity turn themselves back on, which they eventually do, building up to a not-disgraceful 80 before the gong.

Final Score: Trinity 80 - 245 Corpus

Episode 30 - Manchester vs Wolfson, Ox

Because I do this on Tumblr, one of the most annoying things about doing this (and I know its dumb), and something that I think might subconsciously play into me not doing these more regularly, is that when I try and add the pictures of the teams to the post it quite often takes ages and sometimes causes the page to freeze so that I can’t save/post it. This problem is exacerbated when there are multiple episodes to get through, which makes it one of those snowballing problems that only gets worse the longer you leave it - like when you put off repying to an email until it becomes almost a monolithic entitiy in your mind. 

It only takes a few minutes to fix this - you copy and paste the text and then add the images in a different window (though there is another annoying thing where the hashtags don’t save anyway, so you have to retype the hashtags - and for some reason I always add loads of hashtags, including #JeremyPaxman - which also feels like it takes an epoch) - but its one of those few minute periods that feel like fifteen minutes. So basically, what I’m saying is that I can’t be assed adding the pictures to the post at this point. I might add them later, but for now you’re just getting words, so, so many rambling words. 

Manchester are back in the last eight for the first time in donkeys, but they stand on the precipice following a trouncing by Trinity in their QF-opener (I’ve already mentioned this in the last review, which normally wouldn’t matter, but since its directly above this one then it might seem a bit repetitive, but I don’t know if I can rely on your having remembered). Wolfson were likewise (likewise were? Are both okay) baeten by Corpus Christi (which is also referenced above, sorry) so this one was an ELIMINATOR!

Neither side seemed to realise this from the off though (I say though too much don’t I? If I had more time I’d probably edit a few down. But I’m doing a 5-episode mega-post so I don’t, though. Shit. Actually, that one was on purpose winky face) and sort of stumble through the first few questions with some atrocious work on the bonuses. 

Green thought he’d pulled a great answer out of the bag to kick start the match, but Fanny Burney Fanny Burnett is not, and Paxo decries the crowd for being amused at how close Green had come (they having let out a collective ‘oooh’, much in the same way their footballing equivalent may have done at a smashed crossbar). 

Even Jones, so electric in her previous appearances, was a bit slow off the mark tonight. On one occasion she even overruled her teammates conferred and agreed upon answer at the last moment, giving her own guess which they had dismissed, but fortunately for her they had both been wrong, so she did not look a fool.

Manchester were ahead, but couldn’t get far ahead. Wolfson were within touching distance, but couldn’t touch. Not until the very end that is. Caple took the final starter to draw them level and the gong sounded before th first bonus could be asked. DEADLOCK.

A #DEADLOCKELIMINATOR no less.

Paxman explains that a Neg on this question would hand victory to the other team without them lifting a buzzer-finger. He starts reading, no one buzzes. He continues to read. Everyone continues to not buzz. He carries on r- BUZZ. 

Manchester Rogers. Three words left on Paxo’s lips. He better be right. Kaiser Wilhelm. He isn’t. Otto Von Bismarck. An easy mistake to make, says Paxo. 

I reckon Wolfson would have picked up the drop anyway, but you can’t be sure.

My fellow UC blog, jacksonlinewritings, says that its the first time a neg has lost a tiebreak since 2002/03. 

Final Score: Manchester 125 - 130 Wolfson.

Episode 31 - Durham vs Imperial.

I don’t know if this is the first time I’ve written about the same team twice in one post before, but it may well be. Either way, you can (and probably already have) read everything I had to say about Imperial Brandon, my favourite contestant this series, further up this very page, so I don’t need to reiterate.

Durham’s Tams beats him to what I thought was a relatively easy starter on the Magna Carta (just spent a few minutes trying to come up with another word to rhyme with carta, thought it would be easy, but it was a bit harda). He gets the next one though (though) and his Captain Rich the third to give them the lead. Their opponents proved a tougher nut to crack than Courtauld though (though, and I’m not doing this on purpose. I’m just not removing them when I probably should be. They’re all coming up naturally. This is just how much I apparently use the word. If there are any others then please let me know) and cling on whenever Brandon threatens to zoom away.

Please forgive me for going on about Brandon, by the way. He’s just (I think ‘just’ is probably one, and probably ‘probably’ too) so captivating to watch. There were several times in this episode when I stopped watching the whole screen during a starter and focussed on him, expecting him to buzz in, which he duly did. Especially on the starters which are that bit more important, when Durham were (I need to do something about my tenses too, they’re all over the shop) threatening to make a comeback, you could feel certain that he was going to get it.

When the game has been won, he relaxes, so his personal scores haven’t been as high as those of others in past series, but he hasn’t needed to get more than he has done, so why would he bother? I expect if a team were to push Imperial close over a whole match then he’d easily post double figures.

Imperial join Corpus Christi in the semis. Durham live to fight another day.

Final Score: Durham 115 - 185 Imperial

Episode 32 - Jesus, Ox vs Courtauld

Phew! I’ve never written four in a night before. That was quite something. Wait, whats that, I have another one to go? Okay, lets do this - an advance warning, this one will probably (probably! Why do I feel the need to never be absolute about anything. I know for certain that this will be very short, so why must I try and placate some imaginary reader who might scold me for its being so?) be very short.

So, another ELIMINATOR. Courtauld were my favourite team of the series, but I harboured little hope for them, after such a crushing defeat by Imperial last time out, and Jesus were quick to crush what little I had left. Lucy Clarke, who absolutely relishes a buzz on the opening starter of a match, came in with an early buzz, as is her wont, and fortunately for the Oxonians she was right this time. She got the next one too, and Jesus were 45 up.

Three in a row for Courtauld captain Prance, who looks shocked every time he gets a starter correct, despite the fact that when he got the third of this hat-trick, he had quite clearly proved to himself that he knows how to answer starter questions by the fact that (the fact that Ducks, Newburyport) he had got the previous two. They were ahead now. Dare I dream?

No, I daren’t. Jesus quickly stole it back, and did not let it go. Courtauld stayed fairly close, but could never again broach the gap, struggling on the bonus questions whenever they got in. Perhaps on another night they might have stood a better chance (with a bonus set on collage art, which Paxman reckoned they would have knocked out of the park, going to Jesus), but tonight (its not tonight at all is it, not for me and not for you) was not their night.

And breathe...

Final Score: Jesus, Ox 135 - 90 Courtauld

If you’ve stuck with me through all of this, I’m frankly amazed. Thank you, and if you need something to do during self-isolation, there are like 6 whole series of the Challenge on YouTube. I haven’t reviewed them all, but thats probably for the best though.

[oliverphisher]

Richard Newsome on always keeping your clothes on and much more

Richard Newsome is the author of the Archer Legacy; The Billionaire's Curse, The Emerald Casket and The Mask of Destiny.

In researching the trilogy, Richard traveled to England, India, France, Italy, and Greece, visiting many of the historical sites featured in the books. Richard Newsome’s debut novel, The Billionaire's Curse received rave reviews and has been sold to publishers in the US, Canada, Germany, Poland, Italy, Spain and Turkey.

Richard was born in a modest-sized town in the north island of New Zealand, a little place called Wanganui on a great roiling river, his family migrated to Queensland’s Gold Coast, Australia when he was two and a half.

After finishing high school Richard deferred going to university to take up a journalism cadetship on the local newspaper, the Gold Coast Bulletin. After seven years working on various newspapers and with ABC TV and radio, Richard went to university to study economics. After graduating with first class honours he secured a job in Boston in the United States with an international strategy firm.After which Richard returned to Australia and moved to Sydney, where he moved into media, by then he was married and had started a family. In an attempt to bore his children to sleep at night, he started making up a story, which would eventually provide the basis for his Billionaire’s series of books. Richard now lives in Brisbane with his wife and three children.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

There are many but one that stands out was written by William Peter Blatty, the author or The Exorcist.

The books is Which Way to Mecca, Jack? — it’s a memoir of the author growing up Lebanese in New York, and then moving to Beirut as a US Government information officer. It’s an insider’s outsider account of life in a familiar yet foreign land. I picked it up in the second-hand book shop around the corner from where my dad worked because the cover intrigued me.

It cost maybe 40 cents but it opened my then 12-year-old’s eyes to a large and complex world, well beyond the Gold Coast of the 1970s where I grew up. I’m sure most of the material flew straight over my innocent head, but the author had a turn of phrase that I found intriguing. It was my first experience of ‘grown up’ books.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

A new Spirax A4 Notebook No. 810 ($5.49 from Officeworks). It was for my next book. I hand write the first draft of all my books, and this is my go-to notebook. The paper is just right for writing in pencil (HB 0.7mm Pentel leads for my mechanical pencil, a Lamy Scribble 0.7mm). Scratch any writer and you’ll find a frustrated stationer.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

I have a miserably poor attention span for any activity that does not completely entrance me within the first 30 seconds. This has ruled out several attempts at serious business, which is typified by countless hours of donkey work to actually get anything done. Luckily, this psychological tendency towards mind-wandering is ideal for story writing. If I get bored I just have to make the story more interesting. Works for me, works for the reader.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

I was bemoaning the sales figures for one of my books to a friend and the woeful lot of the author when his young daughter piped up with, ‘Just write better.’ That is my new life motto.

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made?

My Lamy Scribble 0.7mm mechanical pencil. I bought it in New Zealand about 15 years ago and have written about 700,000 words with it.

Best $75 I’ve ever spent.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I’m not sure it’s an unusual habit, but I like to get up at 5.30am and sit on the back deck with the first coffee of the morning and listen to the birds greet the sun while I gather my thoughts for the day ahead. Solitary time is the best time.

In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life?

The knowledge that resting on your laurels only leads to soreness and blood clots. It’s important to press on to new and interesting challenges.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore?

The best advice I ever received as a beginning writer was, ‘Write it out.’ Finish the manuscript. You can plan until the end of time, but unless you actually complete the thing it doesn't count a damn.

What are bad recommendations for aspiring authors, that you hear in your often?

‘Write what you know’. How boring is that! Find out new and interesting stuff and write about that.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)?

I seldom say no to anything. I’m terminally polite.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

Always keep you clothes on.

What new realizations and/or approaches helped you achieve your goals?

That time is going to pass anyway. Life’s clock ticks on whatever you choose to do, so you may as well choose to get stuff done. Is there any more pathetic line in movie history that ‘I coulda been a contender’ from On The Waterfront? Don't be that guy.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

A cup of black Irish breakfast tea (no sugar) and a walk by the river at dusk.

Any other tips?

Once you get published, don’t be an ass.

To find out more about Richard visit his website here

_______

Enjoyed this Q&A? Want to discuss in more depth? Join Community Writers. You'll get access to 100+ exclusive writing tips. Q&As with successful authors, an exclusive ebook on building an audience and much more. Sign-up for free as a community writer here

[psyched2b]

Dallas’s Birthday Month Celebration

Yes...another one!

Alright, so I am sure that some of you have noticed that I am finally posting those Drabble Challenges from my 200 Follower Celebration. Technically, I stopped receiving those requests a few weeks ago, HOWEVER, since it is my fur baby’s 3rd Birthday on November 17th and since I am at nearly 300 followers, it seemed fitting that I just keep the celebrations going. (Let’s be real, it’s a lot of fun doing those requests anyways!)

So there will be a NEW Drabble Masterlist (when I get some requests that is!) Something that will be different this time is that I will have tags for my completed drabbles. If you are on my EVERYTHING tag list and DON’T want to be included in the drabbles, shoot me an ask or a message. Otherwise, if you want to be added to the drabbles or just my tag list in general, fill out this form.  ALSO, I added 12 Christmas AU prompts that you can either request by itself or with any of the dialogue prompts BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME.

Questions, comments or concerns? Send them my way!

Rules:

1. Please be following me!

2. Send in your request VIA ASK!

3. You can send in as many as you want but SEND IN SEPARATE ASKS. (Please use the appropriate emoji ex. ✏️  🎼 💚 ❓⭐️)

4. This celebration will end November 30, 2018

Things To Do:

1. ✏️Drabble Challenge: Below the cut are 84 prompts. Send me up to three numbers with your Marvel character pairing and get a drabble in return!✏️ (Read Completed)

2. 🎼Musical Names: Send your name/username and get a song playlist for every letter.🎼

3. 💚Character Ships: Send in a brief description of yourself and I will pair you with a Marvel character! 💚

4. ❓Get to Know: Ask me any question! Or tell me something about yourself! I’d love to get to know you!❓

5. *NEW*⭐️ Headcanons: Send in your request for a headcanon with one (1) specific Marvel character and I’ll give you my thoughts/expand ⭐️

PROMPTS:

1. That’s starting to get real annoying. 2. You can’t just sit there all day. 3. You’re seriously like a man-child. 4. You can’t banish me! This is my bed too! 5. She’s hiding behind the sofa. 6. You’re Satan. 7. Do you really need all that candy? 8. How is my wife more badass than me? 9. Stop being so cute. 10. Welcome back. Now fucking help me. 11. I could really use a hug right about now. 12. Tell me you need me. 13. Welp, that’s tragic. 14. I would kill you for a cup of coffee. 15. What is this ‘sleep’ you speak of? 16. Sorry isn’t going to help when I’m kicking your ass! 17.  I’d rather die than do that. 18. Can you shut up for five minutes? Please? 19. The floor is lava. 20. Where’s my food? 21. Get out of my way before I murder you. 22. You’re breaking my heart, babe. 23. I think you forgot who wears the pants in this relationship. 24. It’s just rain, you aren’t going to melt! 25. I don’t know why I married you. 26. What do you think a cupholder is for? 27. This is where you impress me, right? 28. I bet you can’t go 24 hours without swearing. 29. I’m not weird, you’re just basic. 30. Just sleep with one eye open, that’s all I’m saying. 31. You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong? 32. …or we could make out… 33. K. 34. I think you need stitches. 35. This is your fault by the way. 36. I have fans. More fans that you. 37. I paid for half and you ate three-quarters. 38. If you die, I’m going to kill you. 39. Stop looking at me like that, weirdo. 40. Sorry, I’m protective over the things I love. 41. You’re an idiot. I married an idiot. 42. I lied. I never liked it. 43. Are you trying to flirt? Because you’re just embarrassing yourself. 44. You don’t hate me. Quit lying to yourself. 45. Doesn’t make a difference to me. 46. I try my best. 47. You look pretty good for your age. 48. Delete it. Now. 49. No, you’re MY bitch. 50. Do you ever stop smiling? 51. You’re the one who left it hanging around! 52. You’re sick, not dying. 53. The weather’s too bad and I refuse to let you drive in it. 54. I love you the most-est. 55. Sausage or bacon? And no, not my sausage. 56. Did you just…put ketchup on your eggs? 57. You didn’t do the dishes, therefore I’m not doing you. 58. I don’t love you anymore. 59. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?” 60. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!” 61. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.” 62. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?” 63. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?” 64. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.” 65. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!” 66. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.” 67. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.” 68. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.” 69. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.” 70. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?” 71. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.” 72. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.” 73. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.” 74. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.” 75. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.” 76. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.” 77. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?” 78. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.” 79. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.” 80. “I’m gonna shower.” - “Pft, don’t I get an invite?” 81. “Fuck you.” - “If you want, go ahead.” 82. “Sorry I’m late, I had some things to do.” - “By ‘things’, she means me.” 83. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.” 84. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”

*Prompts were gathered from multiple different posts @prompt-bank

CHRISTMAS AUs

85. For goodness gracious, IT’S 3 AM PLEASE STOP CAROLING 86. You threw a snowball and it hit me/my window and I was going to be mad but you’re really cute. Do you want to come in for hot chocolate? 87. This is the fourth time you’ve come to ask for sugar this week. How many cookies are you making? 88. We’re at an ugly Christmas sweater party and that thing is horrendous where did you even find that 89. You don’t realize I can see over the fence to watch you make snow angels like you’re five years old 90. You would literally make the best neighborhood Santa 91. Are you the one putting mistletoe absolutely everywhere in this apartment building, or do you just happen to be in the right place at the right time every single time I walk under it 92. I just heard a ten-pound turkey hit the ground and also very strong words. Do you need help? 93. I work at the Christmas tree lot and you just had to pick the heaviest tree there didn’t you au
 94. You were putting up Christmas lights and you just fell off the roof omg do you need me to drive you to the hospital 95. I invited you to Christmas dinner as my boyfriend/girlfriend so that my family would stop pestering me about being single, but we can keep this up until New Year’s, right? 96. I’m going to eat this whole pie by myself and you’re not going to say anything about it

Collected solely from @say-hey-kid

*Prompts were gathered from multiple different posts @prompt-bank

[borisbubbles]

12. DENMARK

Rasmussen - “Higher ground” 9th place

Ok, so somehow, in a contest with a nautical theme, the one song which *literally* started with the line “Ships in the making, bound for a distant shore” never got to open any of the live shows??? ¿¿Que??

So, Denmark. Quite possible the opposite of my previous entry, yet its greatness is just as challenging to put into words? As much as “Taboo” was a inaccessible conglomeration of every possible fucking staging trick, so simple was “Higher Ground” It is a great song, but I find it hard to explain why. It is just so much fun? 

It’s like a chapter of the Edda Saga come to life, with its Old Norse chanting, banner-swaying and feigned-drunken slrrrrring uv wrrrrds creating a truly immersive atmosphere. (I love all things Norse, so I was never NOT going to stan this) I love how one of the backings looks like precisely like Conchita Wurst’s long-lost sister. I dunno, Higher Ground just shines on its own, without the need of convoluted gimmicks (tho still bless Malta’s souls for burying “Taboo” under them for no other reason than it (barely) fitting within their ad-funded budget <3). 

So it’s of no surprise that this ended up the Michał of the year, yes?

As you are well aware of, Eurovision is in a continuous process of ‘reinventing itself’, which is code for ‘rejecting its Euroschlager roots in favour of increasedly pallid Ultratop50 knock-offs’, like guuuuurls you can do better than that. Think of an entry in this year that was actually *original*. I come up with... “O Jardim”, “Mercy” and maybe “Hvala, ne!”? Congratz 3/43.  This shocking display of self-loathing creates a power vacuum for the few -for some godforsaken reason- critically panned Euroschlager anthems which *do* make it into Eurovision proper. As the only entry in this year (out of 43) which can be described as “classic eurovision schlager”, “Higher Ground was always going to attract a lot of attention. Add in a few clear-as-crystal references to Game of Thrones (Rasmussen is literally Tormund + guyliner and a weave), a ubiquitous Viking tone and just general dramatic badassery, you’ve found yourself an audience’s fave and the bane for any jury chairperson’s existence. 

This is the long explanation why “Higher ground” is actually a great entry. It is the only entrant, in a year so widely praised as the “first serious contest in years”, that actually feels traditionally Eurovision.  For a brief moment, we are hooked up on pure Classic Eurovision, the term often used to describe the time when “Eurovision Songs Were Still Good”. 

And yes, it is highly ironic (and tragic) that the one entry that reminds many of that very murkily defined time period venerated by the critics, is also one that was critically panned by crappy self-important jurors. Would it that jurors had any self-awareness (I’m pretty shocked the EBU were able to find 43 rooms big enough to house the jurors and their egos), but oh well.

I suppose this is where I address the Melofestivalen shit, yes?

So, the jist of it is this: Two Swedes write “Higher Ground” for Melodifestivalen and get brutally rejected by Christer for reasons I can only guess, as HG was far better than anything in Melfest this year.. (Christer = Melfest’s Jeff Probst). 

Considering that Denmark has a herstory of recycling past Swedish trends- omg reminder that the 1986 Danish entry was a frame-by-frame carbon copy of the 1985 Swedish entry 😂,  please enjoy the pictorial evidence I have provided in support of this statement

 ps: I love that the Danish entry was called “You are full of lies” so unselfaware, so meta, so Denmark <3 

but I digress. Anyway,

Considering that Denmark has a herstory of recycling past Swedish trends, they of course picked up the "Higher ground”, put it in DMGP, substituted the Swedish singer with a Danish one and voila! The melfest reject wins DMGP with his fingers up the nose, cementing his place amongst the canon as an audience darling, and YES scoring significantly better than Ingrosso in the televote 😍The discrepancy shown by televote wasn’t as hilar as “Colour of your life” rising from last to sixth with one sudden stroke (given that Sweden had a higher combined score than Denmark somehow 🙄) but whatever, the ending was perfect because much like the Edda, this Viking Saga also ended with the evil trickster getting swallowed by the World’s Serpent. Sorry, Christer, should’ve taken the LEEP LAKYU WERBWND; FRR HIYRRRR GRWWWWWWND!!!!!

RANKING SO FAR:

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1. I couldn’t really fit it into the narrative, but the actual reason why Rasmussen is only 12th and not higher is because I found the act kind of visually underwhelming. (the snow at the end is particularly sad) Like I said, the song is great and I often have it on loop, but the act is a bit too small for a stage that big.

2. That said, “Higher Ground” is by far the song I’ve listened to the most often this season, which bodes well for any future positive morphs when I rewatch this year in the distant future.

3. Rasmussen bombing with the jury probably has more to do with the lack of gimmicks than the genre of the song. Like I said, the song pretty much carries itself, so if you stop to ponder and list all the things great about it, it all boils down to “the song is catchy and fun”, which is not what juries look at (juries love intricate acts, layered complexity and technical finesse, none of which are particular strengths of this entry)

4. Yes, I think it’s MASSIVELY hypocritical to glom onto songs such as “A Matter of time” under the pretence of “It’s a good song” when yeah it was, but everything else was shit and then subsequently ignore “Higher Ground” for being “only a good song”. wtf.  

5. While I do enjoy trashing the juries on a regular basis, be aware that during the actual Jury Era of this show, none of the juries were professional. In fact, when I rewatched 1978 and 1985, both times the hosts were ADAMANT to remind the audience that the juries were in fact NOT professionals, but 10 randomly selected civilians (Celeb and non-Celeb) with no direct ties to the music industry whatsoever. This is precisely why entries such as Riva, Bucks Fizz and Toto Cotugno managed to win a ’jury vote’ with a comfortable lead lmfao imagine that happening now. Anyway, the bottom line is that today’s “five professionals” jury system fucking sucks and has to be swallowed by Jörmundgandr also. 

6. ’Eurovision used to be good before’ is such a weird statement, yet I hear it all the time in relation to the contest (by people of my age group????) Like... what exact years are you refering to, cuz like... the 2000s were trash and I can’t honestly think of a decade as consistently good as the 2010s lol? We haven’t had a weak year since 2012!! (but of course, most of the people I’ve talked about this in person have, by their own admission, not seen a year since 2010 so how would they know lol)

7. If we assume that 'Eurovision used to be good before’ refers to the time when Eurovision was song-centric, that doesn’t make a lick of sense either? If you’re old enough to remember the late 1960s your taste is probably irreconcilable with mine anyway. And yes, while it took until #London1977 before we finally got a ‘gimmicky’ year, this also made for one of the most watchable, consistently fun contests ever, -even to this day- while “song-centric” years like 74; 75 and 78 are grueling to sit through nowadays unless you have the taste of the average Söngvakeppnin voter. Gimmicks were a part of ESC even during the Chanson Era, as the language barrier was a massive hurdle for any song not sung in French. And true, the “gimmicks” then weren’t more than “performing barefoot” or “having a key change”, but good lord it’s the sixties, flat, boring French Chansons dominated and only because everyone fucking understood French, SO GRASPING AT STRAWS HERE.

 8. The funny thing is that Denmark didn’t copy Kikki Danielsson’s evergreen once, but twice. 😂 “Hallo Hallo” (DK1990) was just a repackaged “Du er fuld af løgn“ (DK1986), which as I said, was itself just a slightly different “Bra Vibrationer” (SW1985). It’s seriously some Bra Vibraception shit.

9. I will never stop shitting on Melfest 2018. It was pure Tropical House Torture and yes, Rasmussen > literally everything in that, including the entries I actually like (which were... Jessica Anderson, Ida Redig and... um... Edvard Blom? Rolandz? Margaret? Samir and Viktor???? *gunshot*) 😂/🙄@ rescinding their roots for 2014′s musical fade. Pray that Christer never discovers reggaeton - though who am I kidding, it will dominate ESC selections in 2020, bank on it.

10. Now that I’ve mentioned them, one of “Higher Grounds” songwriters (Niklas Arn) actually was the bass player for Rolandz (who were my second faves in the finale by fucking default). Robbed twice, both in Melfest and outside of it, smfh.

11. Oh and I think “Higher Ground” in the hands of Sweden, absolutely would’ve been guaranteed top five (watch how most of these “professional” jurors suddenly would *like* it because, you know, Melfest Winner) and that’s all the humiliation I need. That said, I doubt “Higher Ground” ever would have actually won Melfest (it has the Heartbreak Hotel “dominates televote, gets screwed over by juries” label stamped all over it) but oh well, that’s just because Melfest SUCKS and the “International Juries” are a fucking farce. So it worked out for the better that “Higher Ground” was in fact not in Melfest, I think. 

12. Rasmussen is actually the first Danish ESC contestant since Emmelie de Forest that I’ve liked. Gratz? 

[crzcorgi]

Words with Friends...with benefits

For the beautiful @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash ‘s “Ash’s Birthday Negan Challenge”

AU Negan x Librarian Reader (y/n)

My prompt was Words with Friends

Word Count ~4500

Warnings ~ NSFW with lots of smuffy (smut/fluffy) fun

@negans-network

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking cracker, what the fuck is this?!” I slammed the piece of paper on the principal’s desk.

 “Mr. Negan. Would you please refrain from using profanities while in the school.”

 “What the f…ever. What is…” I pointed at the paper. “THIS?!”

 “It’s Words With Friends, a game Mr. Negan. Basically it’s Scrabble and…”

 “Yeah, yeah, I know all that. But this fu… says we’re going to be playing it with the other teachers. Say what?”

 “Yes, well, we’ve been seeing a lot less camaraderie among the staff, less of the help your neighbor. Aren’t we all here for the same reasons? To help shape tomorrow’s leaders, to help them grow and learn in a healthy environment. Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

 Old fucker was babbling some shittin’ nonsense and I had pretty much tuned him out. “Yeah, okay. Do we get to choose who we’re partnered with cause I’m thinking that new nurse might be…”

 “No, Mr. Negan, we will choose your partner. In fact, let me see…” He started shuffling through some papers, pulling one out of the pile. “Yes, here it is. Your playing with Ms Y/L/N!”

 “Uh, who the f…who’s that?!” I was dreading the shithead’s answer.

“She’s the new librarian! How fortuitous Mr. Negan! Imagine that!” He had the biggest stupid fucking grin on his fucking fat face.

 “Jesus, Gregory! You fucking did that on purpose! Pair the gym coach with probably the biggest egg-fucking-head in the whole damn school. Probably has a fucking stick so far up her scrawny ass it’s sticking out of her mouth. No, not doing it.”

 He sighed, he’s fucking beady eyes blinking quickly at me. “Mr. Negan, you know what I’m going to say. You will be play this game I’m afraid, or you will be looking for another job.”

 I laughed, “you can’t fucking fire me because I refuse to play a fucking nerd game, Gregory.”

 “Negan.”

 “Gregy.”

He stood up, walking around to stand beside me. “Come on, the others, the teachers, they see you playing along, it looks good, you know?  I don’t ask much from you, do I? I let you pretty much rule your roost, give you all the funds you need, right? Can’t you do this one thing for me?”

 “Begging Gregory? Isn’t that fucking beneath you?” I ran my hand over my chin thinking about how I fucking needed a shave. “Fine, I’ll do it. But this Ms…”

 “Ms. Y/L/N.”

 “Yeah, Ms. Y/L/N she better not be one of those uptight bitches that can’t take a little joking around. I don’t need her running here to tattle on me. Jesus.”

 “Negan, to be fair, Ms. Simon was 75 years old and you were telling highly inappropriate jokes in the library no less.”

 “Old bat needed to get a sense of humor.” I started for the door. “So what do I need to do Gregory?”

 “Report to the library after school, our first round of Words begins today.”

 “And my fucking team practice?”

 “Will just be late today. They’ll just have to practice without you for an hour.”

 I opened the door. “Fine, whatever. You owe me. Fucking big.”

 He smiled, a big stupid fucking grin. “You have a good day, Mr. Negan.”

 “Yeah, what the fuck ever.”

 I wanted the fucking day to be over. But I also wasn’t looking forward to the afternoon. Whatever I’d done to piss off the gods I wish I could take it back. Words with Friends, what the ever loving fuckity fuck?!

 As I made my way to the library at 2:30, I remembered that I had a date the next night. A fucking hottie that worked at the sandwich shop down the street from my house. Fuck, I needed to get laid like yesterday. I’d been in a bit of a fucking dry spell. But I saw a tsunami coming my way and I was fucking ready with my surfboard. I was gonna ride that wave until I couldn’t fucking move.

 “Mr. Negan, Gregory said you agreed to game time but I didn’t believe it!”

 “Yeah, well fucking surprise Mrs. Smith.”

 I rolled my eyes behind her back, I spotted an empty seat toward the back of tables that were set up in rows, game boards set up on each one.  I sat down, leaning back and closing my eyes, thinking about tomorrow night.

 “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith pointed me back here. Are you Mr.Negan?”

 For a minute I thought I was fucking dreaming and a sexy fucking angel was speaking. But I opened my eyes to who I assumed was Ms. Y/L/N, the new librarian and my partner. With a bun. Dressed like a nun. And glasses so fucking thick I couldn’t even tell if she had eyes that needed those glasses.”

 “Yeah, I’m Negan.” I stood up, pulling her chair out for her. “You must be Ms. Y/L/N?”  Pushing her chair back in, I noticed she had what looked like a tattoo, that was partially covered up by makeup, behind her ear. Hmmm.

 “Yes, I’m her. But you can call me Y/N, we’re both adults.” She giggled, a sweet sound.

 “So, looks like we’re fucking partners, huh?”

 She giggled again, “yes, I guess we are Mr. Negan.”

 “Just Negan, sweetheart, afterall, we are both adults.” I leaned over towards her, winking, causing her to blush.

 After Gregy boy gave us our little fucking speech, explaining the rules like we were fucking kindergarteners, we started our game.

 “Ladies first.” I nodded towards her.

 Smiling, she played. “It’s not much, but I have horrible tiles I’m afraid.”

 “Brach? What the…?” I caught her expression, stopping myself from finishing that sentence.

 “It’s a female dog, Mr., I mean, Negan. But if you would like to challenge me, go right ahead.” She grinned at me.

 “I’m sure you know what you’re doing doll, so it’s fine.” I looked at my tiles, instantly spotting a word. My lips turning up into a cocky smile as I played my word.

 We played for awhile. Our scores fucking amazingly similar.. She played all the smarty fucking pants words, words no one ever uses in any normal fucking conversations. I played my words, breasts, ass, cleavage, horny, each word making her squirm uncomfortably in her seat, her face turning pinker with each play.

 I played my last word, putting me on top, in more ways than one. I was fucking proud of this one.

 “Phallus. Nice one Mr. Negan.” She looked away, shaken.

 I laughed. “Well darling, no one plays games like me.”

 “I imagine. I’m running out of tiles so excuse my choice.” She placed her tiles down, adding to one of mine.

 “What the fuck? That ain’t a word sweetheart!”

 “Are you challenging me, Negan? I was sure you would know that one.”  She looked up at me, taking her glasses off and batting her pretty eyes at me, a supposedly innocent smile on her lips. I got a better look at her and fuck me if she wasn’t gorgeous.

 “I know that, I mean, not fucking personally if that’s what your fucking implying!” She was fucking with me and I was getting pissed.

 “Oh no, of course not.” She leaned over, her lips mere inches from my ear, her hand landing on my knee, moving upward. “I’m sure you have no first hand knowledge of one those.”

 Fuck! What the fuckity fucking hell did she just do?! I had to fucking compose myself, wasn’t going let Ms prissy pants see my reaction to her. Fucking breath man.

 “Okay, microphallus for the win doll. Nice”

 “Thank you, Negan.” She removed her hand quickly, her glasses back on. “You play a mean game. But I never lose.” She turned to face me, a sly smirk on her face.

 We both turned to face the room, realizing we were all alone.

 “What the fuckity fuck?! Were we playing that long?!”

 “I guess so Mr. Negan.”

 The way she said my name, something stirred in me. She’d been saying it all afternoon, no effect. But just now, the way she purred it, my dick came to life, twitching, itching to escape.

 She stood, picking up the tiles from the board and placing them in the box. “It looks like they left me to clean up.” She sighed.

 “Would you like some help sweetheart?” I needed to get to practice but I didn’t want to leave here, her.

“That’s okay, Mr. Negan, I’m sure you’ve got places to be.” She sounded almost disappointed. “It won’t take me too long anyway.” She began picking up the game board on the next table.

 I stood up, moving up towards the front. “I’ll pick up this side, you get that side. We’ll be done in no fucking time darling!”

 “Well, thank you Mr. Negan, you’re such a gentleman.” She smiled, placing the boxes on a cart. “Not at all what I was warned about.”

 “Warned? What did the old busybody bitties say about me now?” I laughed, causing her to smile.

 “Well,” She started walking towards me, stopping when she reached the other side of the table I was at. “They told me you were rude, crass and loved to make people, especially women…” she reached up, pulling her long hair from the bun it was in, her curls bouncing off her shoulders. Pulling her glasses from her face and placing them on the table, she turned, walking back from where she had come. “Embarrassed, uncomfortable. But you see Mr. Negan.” She turned her head, looking at me over her shoulder. “It takes ALOT to embarrass me. And you haven’t done it.”

 “Well sweetheart, you’ve only just met me, give it time.” I started walking towards her. Reaching her, her back to me, I ran a finger up the back of her sweater. “You’d be fucking amazed at what I can do, say. I’ve made a sailor fucking blush.”

 She turned to face me. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of y/e/c, her lips so fucking enticing, her tongue running over them, making them glisten. I was so fucking wrong, she wasn’t the uptight prissy librarian, fucking no. She was the librarian songs, movies, were written about. A teenage boy’s wet dream come to life. Fuck, she was hot, plain and simple. And I wanted her.

 “I’m no sailor, Mr. Negan. I’m just a simple librarian.” She unbuttoned her sweater, pulling it off and throwing it on the table. I could now see why she had the fucker buttoned up to her chin, she only had one of those silky things on underneath. I knew I was fucking staring but shit, she was all tits and nipples. And I was a kid in the proverbial candy store. “It’s awfully toasty in here, don’t you think?” She had picked up a magazine and began fanning herself. And fuck if it wasn’t making me squirm.

 “I believe it has gotten quite hot in here sweetheart.” I moved next to her, blowing on her neck. “Better sweetheart?”

 She giggled. “Your breath is hot, Mr. Negan,” She turned away, walking away between the stacks of books.

 “Where ya goin’ sweet thing?” I wondered aloud.

 “Come and find me Mr. Negan!” She answered in a giggle.

 I followed after her realizing that she had disappeared. “Where’d you go doll?” I began looking between the racks figuring she couldn’t have gotten far.

 “Check our the 600 aisle Mr. Negan. It’s the most interesting row.” She purred.

I glanced on the endcaps of the shelves, noticing the numbers. I quickly made my way to the 600’s. I tipped my head, peeking down the row and seeing her, leaning back against the shelf, reading a book.

 “What ya reading there darling?” I asked, moving slowly towards her.

 She glanced up at me, a sweet smile on her face. “Nothing much, Mr. Negan. You read much?”

 By her side now, I placed my arms on either side of her, my legs on either side of hers. “I’m not much of a reader if there’s no pictures sweet girl.”

 She looked up at me. “This book has plenty of pictures.” She turned the open book around so I could see what she was reading. “Very interesting, doncha think Mr. Negan?” She hummed as she moved her face towards mine.

 My fucking face must have shown my shock as she began laughing. “Did I embarrass you Mr. Negan?” She had placed the book in my hands, freeing her own to wrap around my neck, her big y/e/c eyes blinking seductively at me.

 I laughed, a bit fucking nervously. “Ha, no no! Hell no baby girl. You showing me this for a reason?” I winked, my tongue running slowly over my lips. “Wanna try one of these positions out?”

 “Maybe…” she whispered in my ear. “The Kama Sutra is a favorite of mine.” Her breath tickling the hairs on my neck. “And I’ve always wanted to have my brains screwed out in a library.”

 Fuck she was nothing if not forward. “You,” I brought one hand up to run along the side of her face, my thumb stroking her cheek lightly. “Are my kind of girl.”

 Of like mind, our lips slammed together, our tongues quickly tangling. Her fingers quickly finding their way into my hair, pulling lightly. I brought my hands down to her ass, squeezing each round cheek through the thin fabric of her skirt. She suddenly pulled away.

 Panting, her hands quickly making easy work of her skirt’s zipper. I watched, fucking mesmerized as she slid the skirt down her legs, stepping out of it. Pulling the little silky tank she had on over her head, she stepped back, letting me truly take her in. She was a fucking stunning beauty, all curvy legs, ass and breasts.

 “So, dressed like that makes me think you were fucking expecting to be enjoying yourself a bit tonight, huh?” I laughed. She had on the sexiest pair of fucking underwear I’d ever seen. All silk and lace. Some fancy floral design. Her breasts all pushed up, looking so fucking enticing, I wanted to just dive into them. Her panties were perfect, barely covering her bits but just enough silk to make you wonder. But the best part was she was wearing thigh high stockings with the garter belt, a instant make me fucking hard as steel deal. Shit, I was a fucking goner.

 She smiled. “Honestly, no, this is nothing special.” She ran her hands down her thighs. “A girl likes to feel pretty, sexy, no matter what she’s wearing or where she’s going.”

 “Well sweetheart, you most certain-fucking-ly are sexy and gorgeous. Couldn’t quite see how beautiful through all that frumpy shit you were wearing.”

 She giggled, her hands running up my chest. “Well, Mr. Negan, the school kinda frowns upon dressing like this.” She looked down at her body.

 We both laughed. “I’m not sure any fucking work would get done if you did doll. I can just see all those fucking horny teenagers walking around with shittin’ boners.”

 “How about you Mr. Negan?” She had risen up on her toes, her lips brushing against my ear. “Could you get any work done?”

 I sucked in a deep breath, inhaling her scent. Fucking shivers running down my spine. “I don’t believe I fucking would sweet thing, no.”

 I brought my hands down to grasp her ass, squeezing, kneading, our lips upon each other again, my tongue winning the war of dominance. She tasted so fucking good causing me to groan. My hands working their way around to her front, dipping into her panties. She let out a sigh, that quickly turned to moans as my fingers found her damp folds. I inserting two of them into her pussy, my thumb running circles around her hardening clit.

 “Oh… god…yes!”

 “You can call me god, baby, but I usually just go by Negan.”

 “Shut up and just make me cum!” She growled in my ear.

 “Oooh, a feisty one! Mmhmm!” I laughed. I hastened my movements, adding a third finger and hooking them at just the right angle, my thumb adding extra pressure.

 She came undone, her moans so loud I was sure someone fucking heard. As she leaned her trembling body into mine, I brought my juice covered fingers up to my mouth, tasting her.

 “Fucking heavenly baby. Jeeeesus!” I licked each finger clean, she watched me, her head leaning against my chest, a sly smile appearing. We both jumped when we heard some enter the library. “Shit doll!”

 She whispered. “It’s probably just Joe, the night custodian.” She quickly slipped her skirt and top back on, stepping out into the main aisle.

 “Doll!” I realized her skirt was pulled up in the back, her hot ass exposed. She turned to face be, bringing a finger up to her lips is a shushing gesture. Fuck.

 “Is that you Joseph?” She yelled.

 “It sure is Miss y/ln! Just here to clean. What are you still doing here this late?”

 She disappeared, obviously going to talk to Joe. With her skirt around her waist and her ass on display.  I took off after her, willing my fucking hard on down. I jogged my way down to where y/n was standing, talking to Joe.

 “Mr. Negan, you’re here too?!”

 She turned to look at me, an angry scowl coming across her face. I looked at her, my eyes darting down to her ass. She must have thought I was fucking flirting or something because she wasn’t catching on. Just kept giving me fucking side eye and chatting with fucking Joe, who couldn’t keep his fucking eyes off of her.

 I reached over, trying not to be obvious, reaching for her skirt. She must have noticed, because she turned around quickly, jumping away from me.

 “What’s going on?” She yelled. I heard Joe make a gasping sound and realized he was fucking staring at her ass. Fuckity fucking fucker.

 “Uh, Miss y/l/n, your skirt, uh.”

 “What?!” She turned around, looking down and realizing. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed! I don’t know how that could possibly have happened!” She had pulled her skirt down by now. Her cheeks a gorgeous shade of pink.

 “Uh, I don’t think the library needs cleaning tonight, I’ll just see myself out.” He turned, waving over his shoulder as he headed for the door. “And Mr. Negan, Miss y/l/n?”

 We both answered with a questioning “yes?”

 “Please don’t make a mess. And remember the walls are thin, it’s amazing what I can hear all over the school.   Have fun!”

 “Oh my god, Negan! He knows!” She look shocked, embarrassed, but then started giggling. She grabbed my hand, pulling me back down the aisles of books.

 “Where are  you taking me sweetheart?”

 “Maybe finish what we started?” She questioned me over her shoulder, a wink and a smirk pulling at her lips.

 My dick twitching at her spoken promise. “Sounds fucking good to me baby.”  I followed her willingly towards the back. “Where we headed darling?” My question soon answered when I saw an old couch.

 “A bit more comfortable, don’t you think?” She was turned towards me her top already thrown off, her skirt sliding down her shapely legs. She sat down, leaning back against the cushions, crossing those go on for fucking days stocking encased legs, her tits pressed forward so far. I was aching to touch them. She patted the seat next to her. “Sit with me Mr. Negan?”

 “Fuck sweet thing, you don’t have to ask me twice!” I moved over to the couch, sitting down. She slid over next to me.

 “Now, where were we?” She began pulling my shirt up my chest.

 “Let me help doll.” I pulled it off quickly. “Better?” I asked her, winking.

 “Much.” She purred, startling me as she was suddenly in my lap, straddling my legs. She placed her hands on my shoulders, moving them slowly downward, her fingers tickling the chest hairs, her nails lightly scraping. “I love a man with body hair, Negan.” As she spoke, her panty covered core began rotating over my painfully hard cock.

 I must have been making a face because she noticed. “Am I making you uncomfortable Mr. Negan?”

 “Kinda y/n.” I smirked, trying to hold myself together.

 She slid backwards, off my dick, which made me let out a breath I had been holding in. She then slid down to the floor onto her knees. “Can I help you,” she ran her hands up my thighs towards my waist “with your pants?” She skirted around my massive protruding bulge, reaching up to undo my belt, button and zipper.

 I couldn’t stop the throaty moans from escaping me. As she began pulling my pants down, I shifted my ass up to make it easier. Her eyes stayed on me as she slowly pulled my pants, and boxers, down, my more than fucking ready dick springing free.

 She stopped her actions, moving her hands up and grabbing a hold of my dick. Still eyes on me, her tongue darting out and running a wet stripe right up the underside to the head. I couldn’t decide if it was from fucking pain or pleasure but my eyes closed shut and I began groaning, my hands grasping at the pillows next to me.

 “Fuck baby!” I couldn’t be quiet as her tongue circled the head, dipping into the slit.

 “Macrophallus for the win Negan.” She purred as she swallowed me. All of me.

 “Fuck…that mean…” I moaned out.

 She released me with a wet pop. “Abnormally large penis Negan.” She giggled as she stood up.

 “Well, what else would you fucking expect?!” I laughed, but quickly quieted down when she began to slowly slide her panties down her legs. And I was unabashedly fucking staring.  “That has got to be the most fucking gorgeous pussy I’ve ever seen sweetheart! God fucking damn!” I slammed my palms down on the sofa.

 She giggled as she straddled my legs, lowering down onto me. She began rubbing her folds over my hard cock, making us both moan. The wetness from us both making her glide easily, but I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of the fucking foreplay.

 “Up doll. Now!”

 I startled her, but a fucking smirk appeared on her gorgeous face. “Yes SIR!” She stood up off of me, stepping beside me, her arms reaching out to lean against the back of the sofa. She began wiggling her ass at me, two fucking glorious y/s/c globes. I moved to stand behind her, my hands grabbing her ass, squeezing tightly, so fucking soft, velvety, so pliable.

 “You want this big fucking cock in your tight pussy baby girl? I’m not gonna hold back, you wiggling that ass at me, teasing me all afternoon. You are most certain-fucking-ly are going to pay for your insolence.”

 She looked over her shoulder at me, her beautiful y/e/c eyes blinking at me. The sweetest innocent fucking smile on her luscious red lips.

 “Keep your eyes on me doll.” I ordered her as I lined my cock up to her wet entrance, slamming into her in one thrust, causing her arms to give out and gasp out loudly. I swung my arm around her waist pulling her body back into mine. “I’ve got you sweetheart.” I cooed in her ear.

 “Oh Negan, yes, God YES!”

 “You are so fucking tight baby, never had a cock as big as mine huh?” I growled into her hair.

 “No…no, not ever!” She whined.  “Oh God…”

 I held her tightly as I rammed into her, pulled out as far as I fucking could, jamming back in. I could feel my cock tip hitting her inside, it was causing all kinds of new fucking feelings for me. I twisted my waist just enough to hit her at a different angle. I reached around, grabbing her bra, pulling it down letting her tits free. I tweaked both nipples, making them harden instantly.

 “Oh MY GOD!!!” I swung one hand down, my fingers tweaking her hardened nub, sending her over into fucking bliss. I was right behind, my jerks becoming erratic, I began shaking.

 “Fuck baby girl… I’m cumming…” I growled out, panting heavily. Just as I felt my stomach tighten, her tiny fingers reached around gripping my fucking sack, kneading it lightly and causing me to shoot my fucking seed so far into her that I swear it was gonna come out the other end. I could stop cumming, fuck I was full.

 As I finished, I turned us both around, falling onto the sofa with y/n in my lap, my dick still inside her. Her head falling back onto my shoulder, one hand reaching up to gently stroking her damp hair away from her face. We both groaned at the loss as my dick softened and dropped out.

 She turned to face me, her small fingers finding my scruff, tickling it. “You’re an amazing man, Mr. Negan. And you play a mean game of Words With Friends.” She snickered, her lips meeting mine in a sweet quick kiss.

 “Fuck doll, you’re the mean gamer. What’s that word you used again, macrophallus?”

 She laughed. “Yes, Mr. Big Dick.”

 “I like that, maybe I should change my fucking name to Mr. Big Dick on my door.” I laughed, nuzzling my nose into doll’s neck. We stayed like that for quite awhile, fucking cuddling. Something I never do. But fuck if this girl didn’t do something to me. She was humming some song while running her hands up and down my arms, fucking soothing me.

 “Negan?” She whispered in my ear. “I think we should clean up, get dressed. Don’t want Joseph to come looking for us again!” She giggled.

 “Guess we should!” I helped us both up, she ran off, coming back with damp towels. I had her sit down so I could clean her up, nothing fucking sexual. We got dressed, making sure nothing looked out of the ordinary.

 As we made our way to the door, I took a chance, taking her hand in my own. She squeezed it tightly, looking up at me with a sweet smile.

 “Can I drive you home sweet thing?”

 “I would love that Mr. Negan. Maybe stay a bit?” She looked up at me through her long eyelashes, a bit hesitant.

 “I would fucking love to stay baby.”

 I ended up forgetting all about the hot sandwich shop girl.

[helena-studyblr]

a post no one asked for!

hello so i reblogged a questionnaire a lil bit ago and i’m going to answer them now because...why not

1. how old are you?

im 18!

2.  are you in high school or college(university)?

college

3. what year or grade are you in high school or (university)? 

im a freshman in college

4. what is your school’s grading system look like? do you like it? what problems do you have with it, if any? 

so my university has a standard letter grade system for most classes and pass/fail for some courses that don’t really need a grade. i do like it because it’s what i’m used to, however, a lot of times having a letter grade system can be more stressful because it makes you feel like anything but some kind of A is mediocre and not good enough, when in reality, a 75% or above is better than average.

5. if you are in high school do you plan on going to university or college? if you are in college do you plan on finishing and if you do, do you plan on continuing on to other graduate or professional schools? 

i plan on going to veterinary school after i finish my undergraduate degree! if i end up changing my major to my second choice(music education is my second choice), then of course I won’t be going to vet school.

6. if you are high school what do you plan to study in college, if you plan to go. if not, what do you plan on doing after high school? if you are in college what is your major? do you plan on changing it? 

i am currently studying biochemistry and molecular biology and i have a minor in music! i dont plan on changing it at this point, but if i do, i’d change it to music education.

7. why are you picking or why did you pick what you are currently studying? 

i want to go to vet school, and biochemistry has almost all the requirements for vet school admissions. also, i find it interesting

8. do you go/plan to go to community college, technical college, or a four-year institution? how did you make your decision, or how do you plan to?

i am at a 4 year university, and i went here because it fits what i want to do

9. what factors did you consider when picking a college, or what factors do you plan on considering? 

the college I chose is in my hometown, which is probably one of the deciding factors(i really wanted to be close to home). the campus is very pretty and small as well, and i really wanted to go to a small college. i could have potentially gone to The Ohio State University because i’m about 20 minutes away, but the camous is so big and i know i would have hated it. the school also has a good music program, soi can continue playing even though it isn’t my major

10. what is your favorite pencil?

i love my muji mechanical pencil and also the papermate clearpoint!

11. what are your top three favorite pens?

pilot juice, muji gel pens, and sharpie pens

12. do you prefer wide-ruled paper, college-ruled, dot-grid, or graph paper? 

college ruled is my favorite for class notes, graph paper for revised/nice notes/math work, and blank for planning generally

13. do you use different types of paper for different courses or classes?

i use college ruled for almost everything except math homework(i use graph)

14. do you use a backpack/bag for school or college and what kind is it? why did you choose it? price, quality, function, design? 

i use a backpack, i have no idea what brand it is, but its the perfect size for everything i need to take to classes and its also really pretty(it has a black background with flowers on it)

15. what is your favorite outfit to go to class in and why? 

i generally wear leggings and a sweatshirt/sweater just because they’re comfy and also look cute! if its warm enough, i wear flip flops but if not, i wear my vans or converse.

16. what is something you always have to have in your backpack or bag?

usually my laptop and pencil case

17. what is your least favorite subject and why? 

math!!!!!!! will always hate. guarunteed. 

18. have you ever gone to tutoring, if so, how has it helped your academic endeavors? 

i have not

19. have you ever seeked academic counseling, if so has it helped you?

i haven’t

20. has your mental health ever suffered during high school or college, and what did you do to cope? 

holy shit yes. i suffer from depression and anxiety(depression for almost a year and anxiety for 4 years). i could make a whole post about this but in general, i make sure i give myself time to relax. it can be so so hard to take care of yourself when you suffer with things like this, so even if you can barely get out of bed, try to make time to do things that make you happy. for me, it’s drawing, netflix, and video games.

21. do you like to listen to music when studying? if so, what genre, if you have a playlist share it! 

i do listen to music! i just listen to music i like, which is rock/pop punk/alt rock/etc. (here’s one of my playlists!: https://open.spotify.com/user/helenakitten14/playlist/4R6ZGIlz8K5UDEk80cVfV5?si=cXK0z3HTRUKCQSKx9F8tNA )

22. do you prefer to study at a library or at home at your desk?

depends what i’m working on and how much i have to do. if i feel like i have to be totally focused, i go to the library, but if i have some time to take breaks and get distracted, i just stay in my room. I also hate going to the library on my own, so sometimes i stay in my room anyway if no one can come with.

23. what are your top three items you keep on your desk?

my lamp, my laptop, and whatever drink i’m drinking while working( i always have a drink so i avoid snacking lol)

24. do you feel as if you are more productive during the day or in the evenings? 

evenings for sure

25. if you exercise, do you feel as if it affects your productivity and if so how? 

i do marching band which is usually my exercise, but i don’t work out. working out just exhausts me and i don’t have energy to begin with(ye ye depression)

26. do you participate in any extracurriculars and if so how do you manage your time?

marching band and wind ensemble! i’m also joing KKPsi, which is an honorary fraternity for music service! i am not great at time management, however, i plan out everything to hold myself accountable

27. do you use a bullet journal, a planner, or to-do lists? do you use a combination of all three? 

i use a combo of all three! i’ve been bullet journalling a lot recently, but i also use a planner during busy weeks when i dont have time to make a spread and i make to do lists for weekends

28. do you have a note-taking style?

nothing specific

29. do you have a color-coding system?

i like to make every different topic/spread a different color. also, when i make notes, i like to highlight vocab words.

30. what do you believe is one of the most overrated studyblr trends? 

100 days of productivity. its impossible to be completely productive for 100 days straight. shit happens, and i understand the purpose of the 100 days challenge, but i think it also takes a toll on you mentally.

31. what are your career goals, how do you plan to reach them? 

i want to be a veterinarian or someone that works with animals somehow. i hope to go to vet school and then have my own practice or join another practice.

32. do you use a laptop? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model would you like?

i use a macbook air! it is nice because it is easy to transport, but occasionally the functionality can be questionable(storage space is always my issue). i do reccommend it, though. if i could get a new laptop, i’d probably get a macbook pro. 

33. do you use a tablet? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model are you interested in?

i don’t, but i think having an iPad would be nice!

34. if you post pictures to tumblr, do you use a camera or your phone, if so, what is the model? 

i use my iPhone 6s

35. 0.5, 0.7, or 0.9 pencil lead? 

usually .5 or .7

36. 0.5, 0.7, 0.9, or 1.0 pens? 

.5

37. how many hours a day do you spend studying? are your hours consistent daily or do they differ depending on assignments and exams? 

i tend to study for a majority of the day most days, but it always differs. i have no set timetable

38. how many courses do you take? what are they?

so i am in 8 courses right now. Biology, Gen Chem, Bio Lab, Gen Chem Lab, Calculus I, The History of rock n roll, Wind Ensemble, and Marching band.

39. how long until you graduate? in credit hours, semesters, or years?

i still have 3.5 years left of college, which is 7 semesters

40. how did you find the studyblr community?

honestly i dont remember, it was so long ago

41. how did the studyblr community impact you? 

i was in a big funk my sophomore year of high school. i had no motivation, i hated learning, i hated everything tbh. but them i found this community and it inspired me and showed me that studying can be fun and pretty while also being a learning experience!

42. do you go to school in the day or night?

day!

43. what is something you are too afraid to be involved in at school or college and why? 

 in high school, i was very afraid to get involved with a lot of things, such as theatre and some other clubs just because of anxiety.

44. do you type or write your notes? 

i write them mostly, but my biology professor talks really fast so i usually type notes for his class

45. what do you do on your breaks from studying? 

netflix, eat, play video games, probably other stuff i’m forgetting

46. how do you study for math exams?

honestly i just look through lecture notes and hope for the best. occasionally i do practice problems but not often

47. do you rewrite your notes at home after class, or do you just use the ones you have already? why? 

i rewrite them because it helps me memorize things

48. what are your least favorite courses and why?

math of any kind! i also hate biology right now just because my professor sucks

49. are you in a relationship while in school? if so, why? if not, why? 

i recently got out of a relationship, but im open to being in a relationship with someone

50. if you are in a relationship, how do you manage that along with your studies? 

it was very hard to manage it honestly, but i did what i could to make time, even if it was only just having a meal together. 

51. if you aren’t in a relationship, do you plan on entering one while still in school? explain. 

if i find the right person, yea! being in relationsips is great, especially because you have a companion to help you when you’re struggling

52. do you worry about GPA, if so why, if not why?

oh my god yes i do. i have to have a certain GPA to keep my scholarship money and to stay in the honors program, plus i just want to do well.

53. did you or do you plan to take the SAT or ACT, how did you feel about the exams? did you study for them? have you taken it more than once?

i did take both the SAT and ACT. i did well on each, but the SAT was a lot harder for me. I got a 1220(i think) on the SAT and a 31 on the ACT. i took the ACT twice

54. did you or do you plan to take the GRE, LSAT, PCAT, MCAT, DAT (or any other grad exam)? how did it go? how are you or how did you study for it? have you taken it more than once? 

i’m going to take the MCAT

55. do you or did you take AP classes is high school? how do you feel about how they prepared you for college? did your school require you to take the exam?

yes i did take AP classes! i took 9 total, and they overall did help me learn how to manage time better as well as how to study. we weren’t required to take the exams, but i always did

56. do you or did you do the IB program in high school? can you explain it more for those who are unfamiliar with it? 

i did not, however the IB program is basically an intensive high school honors program that is very writing intensive. its like AP on steroids

57. do your or did you take dual-enrollment classes? how did you feel about how they prepared you for college? 

i didnt but i wish i did!

58. how many colleges or universities did you apply to or not? and why?

i applied to 5 colleges. i already knew where i wanted to go, but i wanted to be safe just in case i didnt get in, so i applied to the 5 i was most interested in. I also wanted to see if any other schools would give me a lot more financial aid.

59. how did you make friends in college or high school?

through band! in both situations

60. has your friend group stayed the same throughout your time in school?

yes actually! i’m still very close to all my high school friends and a few of them go to my college as well. of course i’ve met new people but i. also still have the same friends

61. how does your friend group influence your goals?

we all have our own goals, we just encourage each other and act as an outlet for stress

62. what is your favorite thing to learn about in your free time?

music and current events

63. what is your favorite study snack?

i like to eat carrots/pretzels with hummus or oreos

64. what is one thing that can completely make you stop studying? 

being depressed or tired

65. are there days during the week that you keep completely free from studying? 

yes. wednesdays are my hell days class-wise, so i refrain from doing work on those days after my classes are over

66. what do you do when you have to hustle? where do you go? 

i dont know what this means

67. are your parents or family supportive of your goals? if so how does this affect you? 

they’re very supportive!

68. do you like to read? and do you ever have any free time to do so?

i really love reading but i never have time

69. do you wear a watch? why or why not? what kind? 

nope, they annoy me

70. do you like to drink coffee or tea when working? decaf? what do you add to it? why do you like to drink coffee or tea? 

coffee with full caffeine! i always add creamer, and i drink it because it wakes me up 

71. how do you organize your notes after your finish writing them? 

i have notebooks for every class and binders as well

72. what do you do with your notes after the year or semester is over?

i either recycle them if they won’t be necessary anymore or i keep them in my closet

73. what are your favorite studyblrs?

studyign, emmestudies, and a lot more that i can’t think of

74. what are your favorite studygrams?

same as above except add on focusign and revisign!

75. what is the biggest impact a teacher or a professor has had on you?

my band director was very impactful on my life just because he was my teacher for 5 years, so we had a good relationship

76. what is the biggest impact that a class has had on you?

my film and lit class had a massive impact on me. it made me think in very different ways

77. who is your inspiration and who do you look up to academic wise and career wise? 

my dad inspires me a lot because he worked so hard to find a career he loved and kept going until he got there. he’s also endlessly supportive of me

thats it! this took me so long hahaha anyway. thanks for reading!

[alliebruns-blog]

Crafty Fox Marathon, Downslink Ultra and Pacing a Pal…..

Well, I’ve been shit at this, haven’t I? I’ve just had loads on and so have totally not had time to do the writing thing that I love doing the most. I have, however, been doing a fair bit of running. September saw the inaugural Crafty Fox marathon - a classic White Star marathon ish in the lovely village of Ansty. For reasons known to nobody apart from myself, I decided to wear a fox tail. Calm down everyone, it’s not a real one. I left that at home. This was 2 loops of a beautiful working farm, with cows and views and posh schools and loads of lovely runners. 

TAIL!

It was my first marathon in a couple of weeks, and my training had been less than satisfactory. At this point in the year, I’m just trying to keep things ticking over rather than win stuff or beat my PB’s or even do anywhere near ‘well’. My “A “races have been done, and I have achieved what I set out - there’s just the small matter of 3 weeks of running across deserts and jungles in November to deal with, so ultimately I need to keep fit for what will be day after day of ‘challenging’ endurance running. 

HILL!

I turned up with about 30 miles in two weeks under my belt, telling myself it was “only” a marathon (epic mistake). I also didn’t pack anything substantial to eat because, again, I just thought it’s “only” a marathon. I am a twat. As is the way with White Star races, this was not flat. I was running with Julius, who was taking it easy as he had the half marathon the next day (where I was marshalling) so we set off, almost immediately walking up a massive hill. The course was lovely - farmland tracks, mega up hills and cows trotting next to us. The downs were as steep as the ups and, after about 6 miles, I started to get hungry. The aid stations had the usual mix of WSR stuff, but I really needed a sandwich and I didn’t have one. The fact that I was hungry, basically meant my run was a slog. It took away from the beauty of it -  all I could think about was food. As it was a test race, the usual Love Station was less full than it would have otherwise been, which led this vegetarian to eat 71 mini sausages on the first loop. Sorry everyone, but a girls gotta eat. If I am honest, I hated that second loop, but it is my fault entirely. Food is important. 

Another hill.......

Not a cult......

This is a beauty of a race - as long as you’re not starving. The race village felt like a party zone - so many great faces and the brilliant Piddle Brewery delivering the goods on the booze front. The medal is awesome too. Would I do it again? 100%. Will I make sure to eat and get a bit more training in? Yes. As I said, I am a tail-wearing twat. 

MEDALZ

After a month off events with weddings and other stupid normal human stuff in the way, it was time for the Downslink Ultra. This is an event run by Jason McCardle - A Do-Badder and all round good egg. A race director who is also an endurance runner is a good thing - they know what’s what. I had been promising him for ages I would do a Sussex Trail Event, and had to this point failed, so I was really looking forward to this. It’s basically 38 miles down a disused railway track, running from Guildford to Shoreham-On-Sea. It’s flat - I LIKE FLAT! And I totally loved it. 

Start line pose.....

The wonderful Lorna Spayne (Head of Bailey Crew OBE) picked me up in the morning, and drove me to the start, and then went off on marshalling duties. She’s so brilliant. I love her.  The run is point to point, so Julius had parked his car at the end and got a bus up to meet me at the start. Clever ain’t we? 

Dream team....

Navigation is simple - follow the signs. The route is packed trail, with some stunning trots through forest and old tunnels. Although it’s a long, straight line, it never gets boring to look at - the weather was AMAZING - we lucked out with one of those cold, sunny autumn days, but once again my lack of midweek running was showing, and at times I found it a struggle. The start was at the top of a hill (approved) where we all whizzed down sandy trails and across very quiet roads to reach the first aid station at around 6 miles.

I mean..........

Dat Autumn sun filter....

At the second aid station, I bumped into Jay and mentioned how lucky we were with the weather - the day before had been appauling. “I know” he said “I ran it yesterday to check the route”. That’s what you want - and RD that does that is a keeper, and believe me a lot of them don’t! 

Aid stations were stocked with stuff for everyone - props on the vegan bites Jay! - and with super lovely marshals. I can only compare this to White Star for it’s organisation and support. You can tell Jay is a runner - he knows what runners want to eat for a start. The other runners were great and happy to chat as we clattered along - no Salomon men here (well a few but I didn’t see them because SLOW). Once again, Julius ran with me - I am trying to train him to run slower for the longer races we have booked in next year - not easy. He reminds me of my dog. I have to shout “WITH ME” every 5 mins when he tries to run off. I don't have a lead for him though. Not that sort of party. 

Welcome to the jungle....

A train......

This is a race for people that like to be sociable. Of course, it’s a great course for a PB - it’s flat and trail - nothing stopping you smashing it out - but it’s also very social, with wide paths and loads of space. It would be great for groups of people wanting to take on their first Ultra, as the cut offs are pretty decent and you don't have to run in single file at any point. I think if I had been on my own I would have got bored at points, but the autumn light was so brilliant and the changing scenery also made it seem less like a never ending railway track. 

Countryside......

It’s alright this.......

We went through fields, trails and small towns, under tunnels and through bits of ‘british jungle’. The main aid station is right next to a pub, and holy shit was it epic. Everything from sandwiches and mini wraps to cheese and pineapple on sticks to melon. This time, I had been sensible, and packed sandwiches and snacks and nuts, but I didn’t need too. There was even coffee! I was so happy I gave Jay a cuddle and 11 out of 10 for aid station glory. He just looked at me, confused.

Pro running shot courtesy of Lorna!

After this point it started to get a teeny bit more industrial on the run into Shoreham - not the worst end to a race I have ever experienced (Newcastle anyone?) Head of Crew Lorna met us about 2 miles from the end and ran us in. I was pretty happy with 7.14 on the back of no events the previous month and the chilli at the end was delicious, as were the showers. Sussex Trail Events know how to put on a good value, fun and achievable event. It’s safe, beautiful and genuinely a runners race. Jay understands what we want and need, and there’s nothing more to it. I am now eyeing up pretty much everything else he has on offer for next year - go and have a look for yourselves here. 

The following week I had the pleasure of being asked to pace my good friend Dan at his first 100 miler - the Autumn 100. As many of you know, this was my first 100 mile event this time last year and I was over the moon to be asked to help Dan out from the 50-75 mile mark. I know what a huge deal your first 100 mile race is and I know how important those pacers can be, so I was both scared I would fuck it up, and thrilled that I got to be part of his story. 

Dan looking better before I got to him......

The Ridgeway is leg 3 of a 4 leg race. It’s 50 miles in to the A100. Usually runners run it in the dark - and it is DARK up there - no light at all. I worked on a pace plan with Dan in the weeks before, giving him an A, B and C plan so he wouldn’t feel he was failing at any point. I worked out that to be on course for a sub 24 hour time, he should be with me at Goring at 8pm and ready to go at 8.10.  If we could do this 25 mile leg in 6 hours, he would be on for that sub 24 with 7 hours for the final leg (always keep an hour for aid station faff and procrastinating).

I got to Goring at 7pm (just in case) and had been watching his tracker like a hawk all day - he looked like he was on target. Sadly, in the last part of the second leg, he slowed slightly and came into Goring 40 mins later than planned, which means we didn’t leave until 8.50. I would have to try and get him through this leg slightly faster than planned and let his next pacer Kieran know that he was going to have to think more 6 hours than 7 for leg 4. 

Being a pacer is frought with difficulties. I know Dan quite well and I love him, we have run together before a lot - he came and ran with me on the Thames Path for 40 odd miles - but working out how far you can push a person is hard. I didn’t want to piss him off, but I had a job to do. We weren’t allowed to crew the runners - that means you can’t touch them, help them get changed or get them food and drink. They have to do it themselves or get a centurion member of staff to do it - that is massively frustrating. I got him out of the hall as soon as I could, and we started walking at 14 min miles up the hill towards the ridgeway. I explained we were late setting out, and we would have to do some running. Dan did not look impressed. He has already run 50 miles. I was fresh out the box. 

Halfway through the night shift.....

I was so worried about time and I tried to make Dan run as much as possible, but it was hard. When we walked, we walked at 13-14 min miles and I made him run down most of the hills. I could see him flagging. That far away look you get in your eyes - he had it. I kept on trying to be helpful. You need to be able to read when it’s ok to chat and when you should shut up. I pushed him to run as much as possible, and tried to get him to eat more. He wasn’t eating or drinking enough - I know exactly how he felt - but I also know you have to keep shovelling it down. The second half of the leg featured our best friend the “hammering side rain”. We were cold and wet - I ALWAYS run through this weather - to get out of it quicker - but Dan was only managing 2 mins running and then 5 - 10 mins walking. I texted ahead to tell Kieran to get ready to smash the next leg out in 6.30 rather than 7. 

As we came to the end of my leg I did a bit of home truth chat. I told him he could do it in sub 24 IF he could manage to do a 6.30 on the last leg. I told him about how you feel towards the end, and I hope that I helped him and didn’t scare him. We got in to the hall at 6.06 for my leg. Kieran was waiting, got him fed and changed as quickly as possible and got him out. When I saw him in the light of the hall I felt terrible I hadn’t fed him more. He was flagging. He had been running for almost 17 hours and he was half the Dan he usually was. I gave him a cuddle and went to get in the car home. It was 3.30am. Dan had over 7 hours more running to do.

The last leg was appalling for Dan - the weather was awful and his feet were playing up very badly. Despite this, he managed to get back in just over 25 hours - which is a fucking epic time for a first 100. I was lucky on mine - I didn’t have that driving rain and wind. With it, it would have been a very different story. Dan has achieved what 99% of people can’t, and for that I am immensely proud. I loved pacing him and being part of his journey and I learnt a lot from it. Huge thanks to Kieran for bringing him home in one piece. And thanks Dan for allowing me to annoy you for 6 hours. 

So that’s where we are at! Next up for me is the Thames Path “Trot” - 50 miles of Thames Path - because we all know how much I love the Thames Path right? (Kill me now) Then I am off to New York for the marathon. And then Namibia and Panama. Jesus christ, will this hell never end? (I hope not…..) 

[junker-town]

9 Ben Simmons trade packages that might actually make sense for both sides

If the 76ers are really going to trade Ben Simmons soon, we have nine trade packages both sides should consider.

Ben Simmons’ days in Philadelphia have felt numbered ever since his woeful offensive performance contributed to the 76ers’ surprising second round loss to the Atlanta Hawks in 2021 NBA Playoffs. It was painful to watch Simmons at times during the series as he consistently bricked free throws and refused to attempt almost any fourth quarter shot — even a wide open dunk. As the Hawks finished off Philly in six games, head coach Doc Rivers and superstar teammate Joel Embiid essentially threw Simmons under the bus in the final postgame press conference.

The NBA waited for Simmons to be traded all summer, but it never happened. 76ers GM Daryl Morey reportedly asked for the moon for the 25-year-old All-Star, and no team was willing to meet his demands. It was easy to speculate that Morey wanted to hold on to Simmons as long as possible to see if a superstar guard like Damian Lillard would eventually hit the trade market.

Simmons has now taken matters into his own hands. He wants to be traded to a new team, and he’s threatening to hold out of training camp until it happens. With Simmons’ trade request hanging over the start of the season, we came up with nine possible deals and asked the corresponding SB Nation NBA communities how they felt about the proposed trade. These were the parameters for the deals:

I came up with each potential trade. They had to work on ESPN’s trade machine

The SB Nation communities gave their feedback on each deal. Sometimes that meant a thumbs up, sometimes it meant a thumbs down, sometimes it meant a counteroffer.

Every trade includes draft compensation of some kind. Since that’s where most of the negotiation on these deals will take place, we chose to keep it vague rather than come up with specific pick protections.

At the bottom of this story, Paul Hudrick from our 76ers community Liberty Ballers ranked his favorite proposed trade packages.

This was a fun exercise when we did it with James Harden a year ago, but the polarizing nature of Simmons’ game made this an even bigger challenge. As we learned, it isn’t easy to find a deal that satisfies the 76ers’ win-now desires while also making sense for the other side.

Here are nine deals we thought could make sense.

Pacers

Framework of the deal: Malcolm Brogdon and T.J. Warren + a pick for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Pacers finished ninth in the Eastern Conference last year, and their big addition of the offseason was head coach Rick Carlisle. This team is positioned to “win-now” with most of the rotation in its prime, but their ceiling isn’t all that high. Simmons is the type of player a franchise like the Pacers would be unlikely to land in free agency. It could be worth it to cash in a few pieces for a 25-year-old All-Star who is under contract long term, and then figure out the rest of the roster around him later. While the Pacers get a new foundational star, the 76ers get a starting point guard who can shoot and a wing bucket-getter who can immediately help Embiid in the playoffs.

What Indy Cornrows says:

This is so tough because A.) I love what this does for Philadelphia B.) Ben Simmons is the most talented player in the deal, the youngest, and on a long term contract; all things that would behoove the Pacers’ braintrust to make this trade. While I normally am talent over everything, the fit is just so wonky with a frontcourt of Sabonis/Turner/Simmons. If there were a subsequent deal with one of the bigs to bring in more perimeter talent, I think it makes sense, but the team can already struggle in halfcourt or late clock scoring situations. On top of that, Brogdon and Warren are both sub All-Star talents who the Pacers have no real replacement for. Again, it’s wonky, but worth thinking about.

As dynamic and good of a player as Ben is, he isn’t an elite driver at the moment (11.4 drives per 75) and Malcolm Brogdon is (15.2 drives per 75). We don’t talk about the rim finishing. But, in all seriousness, the Pacers would really struggle without Malcolm’s consistent ability to get to the rim. Getting there causes the defense to tilt even if you’re not finishing at an elite rate, so you’re banking a great deal on Ben and Caris LeVert getting to the cup with more consistency.

Simmons and Sabonis operate from similar spaces as high or mid post playmakers using their height and court vision to pick apart a defense. What does that look like with two players who aren’t being respected past the free throw line? Playmaking is probably the most important offensive skill in the league, you can never have enough, but the fit is certainly odd.

I would ultimately be in on this for Indiana, but admit that the team would probably not feel similarly. They view themselves as a win now team, and I think it would require a one step back two steps forward approach trying to restructure a younger team around Simmons after trading two of the three best perimeter options in the organization, while knowing more moves are happening in conjunction here.

If I could, I would counter with something involving the same players, but adding in Tyrese Maxey and a conglomeration of Pacers picks to make that trade worthwhile for the Sixers. Maxey would provide another building block towards a younger team with a brighter future and the Sixers would acquire more draft capital for subsequent moves to tweak the roster. It’s not perfect and I wouldn’t want to part with Maxey if I’m Daryl Morey, but I would certainly try and make it happen. — Mark Schindler

Spurs

Framework of the deal: Dejounte Murray, Derrick White, Devin Vassell + a pick for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Spurs finished No. 10 in the Western Conference last year, and lost their best player in free agency when DeMar DeRozan went to the Bulls. San Antonio has collected some solid young pieces in recent years, but no true star. Simmons would immediately become the face of the franchise, and his long-term deal would give the Spurs a few years to try to add talent around him. In return, Philly would get a dynamic offensive guard in White, an awesome defensive wing with shooting ability in Vassell, and a capable point guard in Murray.

What Pounding the Rock says:

Parting with their presumptive starting backcourt, in addition to the promising Vassell, is a hard pill to swallow for a team that’s invested so much in their development. But the Spurs have entered asset acquisition mode this summer for a reason: the roster as constructed probably doesn’t top out as a world-beater. Simmons doesn’t get them all the way there, but he should raise their ceiling and complement many of the remaining pieces’ strengths and weaknesses. — Bruno Passos

Cavaliers

Framework of the deal: Darius Garland, Isaac Okoro, and Ricky Rubio + a pick for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Cavs have been collecting top-five lottery picks ever since LeBron James bounced to LA, but the team is still far away from contention. Evan Mobley could be the face of the franchise moving forward, but it’s hard to tell exactly how good Cleveland’s other young players are. Like the Pacers, Simmons is the type of player the Cavs likely would never get in free agency. A team with Mobley and Simmons could have incredible defensive potential. The Cavs would have a log jam in the front court, but Simmons is under contract long enough for the team to reshape the rest of the roster around him in coming years. The 76ers would get an exciting young point guard in Garland who could be set for a breakout third year. Okoro is an awesome young wing defender who needs to improve offensively, and Rubio could help Philly at point guard right now.

What Fear the Sword says:

Maybe the Cavs do this as a talent play because Ben Simmons is no doubt better than anyone the Cavs currently have. But this is also a tricky deal because Garland is their best young creator and would fit well with Simmons. Okoro, meanwhile, is a standout defender just starting and they got Rubio. Simmons is also a tricky fit with a Evan Mobley-Jarrett Allen frontcourt. In reality, I think the Cavs probably do this because it’s a talent play and they have to take those. But I don’t really know why the 76ers would do this?

I also think the Cavs would want to try and move off of Kevin Love in any trade they make here, but that wouldn’t seem to fit with what the 76ers would want to do here. Simmons to Cleveland might just be too complicated to do unless a third team gets involved. — Chris Manning

Trail Blazers

Framework of the deal: C.J. McCollum and Robert Covington + a pick for Simmons and Thybulle.

Why it might work: The Sixers might dream of trading Simmons for Lillard, but it’s possible his backcourt mate is the best they can do right now. The 30-year-old McCollum would give the team a new lead guard in the backcourt who can score from all three levels and pairs well with Embiid. Covington is already a fan favorite for starting his career in Philly. Losing Thybulle in this might be a tough for the Sixers, but seems necessary for the contracts to match. From Portland’s perspective, an all-in move for Simmons could keep Lillard around long-term and give the Blazers the defensive stopper they’ve been missing.

What Blazer’s Edge says:

For the trade in question, the BE staff would accept that trade. Our only counter would be to make this trade less noisy. Let’s remove all the additional pieces and make this a straight CJ-for-Ben swap.

Simmons might not love the idea of Portland, but Klutch would unite one of their marquee players when one of their top coaching clients. With Larry Nance Jr. and Simmons in the fold, the Blazers’ defense would finally have the tools to compete with true contenders. — Steven Dewald

Grizzlies

Framework of the deal: Steven Adams, Dillon Brooks, and DeAnthony Melton + Jazz and Lakers 2022 first round picks for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Grizzlies have a great young foundation led by Ja Morant, but the team still has a long way to go before they reach contender status even after sneaking into the playoffs last year. Acquiring a blue chip talent like Simmons while keeping Morant, Jaren Jackson Jr., and a solid young complementary shooter in Desmond Bane would be a major boon. For the Sixers, Brooks could be an immediate starter on the wing, Melton is one of the more underrated players in the league, and Adams would be an elite backup center. The picks could come in handy for a future trade, too.

What Grizzly Bear Blues says:

If the Grizzlies could acquire a player that’s 25 years old and has been a 3-time All-Star, without giving up Ja Morant or Jaren Jackson Jr., they should pull the trigger - even for the oft-criticized Ben Simmons. Grizzlies followers would be reluctant to give up Dillon Brooks, but Simmons would serve as a defensive and playmaking upgrade. Brooks, Kyle Anderson, and De’Anthony Melton sound like a good framework for the deal, and guys like Brandon Clarke or Desmond Bane could replace one of the guys in this deal. The rest will likely revolve around draft compensation, primarily the first-round picks from the Lakers and the Jazz in 2022 and maybe one of their own.

The allure of Ben Simmons is transforming him into a super-charged Draymond Green. What better duo for him to do that with than the electric Ja Morant and the sweet-shooting Jaren Jackson Jr.? — Parker Fleming

Timberwolves

Framework of the deal: D’Angelo Russell, Malik Beasley, Jaden McDaniels + a pick for Simmons, Tybulle, and Isaiah Joe.

Why it might work: Minnesota reportedly has heavy interest in Simmons, and there are some pathways to a deal. This package would give the Sixers a starting guard in Russell, a high volume shooter in Beasley, and high-upside, young defensive forward in McDaniels. Russell may be a negative team value on his current deal, but Philly could also flip him down the line. For the Wolves, Simmons’ elite defense is a perfect match next to Karl-Anthony Towns in the front court. This trade might come down to what Philly thinks of McDaniels after a promising rookie year.

What Canis Hoopus says:

As a Wolves fan/writer, I wouldn’t do this trade. DLo and Beasly are the two best perimeter shooters on the team and Jaden McDaniels looks like the steal of the 2020 draft. I also don’t think the Sixers are interested in Russell. I think the Wolves big plan is to win with Simmons AND Russell together so I’ll propose this. The Timberwolves trade Malik Beasley, Jaden McDaniels, Taurean Prince, 2022 FRP, and 2024 FRP for Ben Simmons and Isaiah Joe.

The Wolves keep Russell, meanwhile the Sixers get extra pieces they can include in a trade once another star becomes available like Dame or Beal. Prince also cannot be traded until September 27th but teams could agree in principle. — Cooper Carlson

Raptors

Framework of the deal: Goran Dragic, OG Anunoby, Chris Boucher, and Malachi Flynn for Simmons, Thybulle, and Isaiah Joe.

Why it might work: The Raptors are embarking on a new era without Kyle Lowry, and it sure feels like they want a full team of big, athletic forwards with multi-dimensional skill sets. Simmons would fit. While a 1-for-1 swap with Pascal Siakam is possible, Raptors HQ chose to talk about this deal centered around OG Anunoby instead. Anunoby is a tremendous young wing who would be a plug-and-play starter for the 76ers. Boucher is a stretch big off the bench, Flynn is a promising young point guard, and Dragic could play a role right now in the last year of his deal. For the Raptors, a core of Simmons, Siakam, VanVleet, and Scottie Barnes could be the start of something big.

What Raptors HQ says:

This is definitely one of the more creative Raptors-76ers trade ideas that I’ve seen! Here, you’re moving two players who clearly want to be moved in Ben Simmons and Goran Dragic, and that’s a good starting point. The 76ers also need a point guard, and I think Dragic would quickly become a fan-favourite in Philly, assuming he hasn’t lost a step.

Beyond that? Well, OG Anunoby becomes the real sticky point here. Yes, I realize that Anunoby is more highly valued by Raptors fans, including me, than he is anywhere else. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t deserved. For an example of that, look no further than… Matisse Thybulle, who made all-defence last year over the more deserving Anunoby last season!

Still — if we remove the Klutch factor here (Anunoby is a Klutch client) — if you had to move OG to get Simmons, getting Thybulle in return to fill OG’s spot is not a bad thing. Imagine fielding a lineup of Simmons, Thybulle, Pascal Siakam, Scottie Barnes and Precious Achiuwa? I bet Masai Ujiri, Bobby Webster and Nick Nurse would give that one some serious thought. — Josh Kern

Kings

Framework of the deal: Tyrese Haliburton and Buddy Hield for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Kings are already reportedly out on this deal, and it makes sense. Haliburton was awesome as a rookie. He might be the most appealing piece in any of the packages we mention in this article. Still, there’s a case for why the Kings should consider this. Simmons is a young All-Star signed long-term. Trading for arguably the best defensive player in the game is a great way to address what was the league’s worst defense last year. The Kings also have a promising rookie guard in Davion Mitchell who could take Haliburton’s place in the lineup. It’s totally fair if the Kings and their fans don’t like this deal, but it’s at least worth considering.

What Sactown Royalty says:

This is a highly-risky move for the Kings that I would not want to see come to fruition.

Tyrese Haliburton is an essential piece of the young core Sacramento is trying to build around alongside De’Aaron Fox. The Kings would essentially be trading Haliburton, who finished third in Rookie of the Year voting last season, and Buddy Hield, the best 3-point shooter in the league, in return for good defense.

The way this is set up, Kings undoubtedly lose the deal. Instead, I would offer Buddy Hield and Marvin Bagley III and a future pick in return for Ben Simmons. The relationship between Bagley and Kings brass isn’t quite as hostile as Simmons and the Sixers, but it’s no secret they both want out of their respective markets. Philly would acquire a young wing who wants a fresh start while Sacramento would do the same. — Marina Drab

Warriors

Framework of the deal: Andrew Wiggins, James Wiseman, Moses Moody + a pick for Simmons.

Why it might work: The Warriors are trying to augment their aging championship core with young, unproven talent taken at the top of the draft. It sounds like a good plan in theory, but Golden State also can’t afford to waste time while Stephen Curry is still playing at an MVP level. Trading young pieces for Simmons would be a major boost in the short-term for Golden State, and immediately improve their chances at coming out of the West this year. For the Sixers, Wiggins could contribute on the wing right away, while Moody and Wiseman are nice long-term pieces. This deal may not give the Sixers the immediate talent infusion they’re looking to add, but the young pieces could be flipped in another deal down the road.

What Golden State of Mind says:

The main concern with Simmons on the Warriors seems to be whether the team can make a non-shooter work next to Draymond Green. But the Warriors have built elite offenses in the past with frontcourts of Green and Kevon Looney, Green and JaVale McGee, Green and Zaza Pachulia, and so on and so forth. The Warriors would have to eschew having a traditional center for it to work, but Simmons is bigger than many traditional centers (including Looney). With Simmons and Green, the Warriors would have a frontcourt starring two of last year’s Defensive Player of the Year finalists, and two of the top 12 assists per game leaders, who would be passing the ball to Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. You have to be mighty high on Wiggins to think this does anything but dramatically increase the team’s title odds in the next few years, and that’s before mentioning how perfect of a fit Thybulle is on the Warriors. Maximizing a title window around a 33-year old Curry is more important than hoping that two draft lottery tickets in Wiseman and Moody pan out. It’s an easy yes for me, though it’s worth noting that Golden State’s front office is reportedly split on Simmons, so it may not be an easy yes for them. — Brady Klopfer

Liberty Ballers ranks the Ben Simmons trade packages

Paul Hudrick from our 76ers community Liberty Ballers stopped by with his thoughts on his favorite potential deals.

1. San Antonio - Murray, White, Vassell + a pick

The reason I like this deal better than most is the addition of Murray. Say what you want about Simmons, but he was the runner-up for Defensive Player of the Year and is arguably the most versatile defender in the league. Getting a player like Murray that already has an All-Defensive Team nod would help mitigate the loss of Simmons on that end. At 25, you could talk yourself into Murray’s potential offensive upside — despite him not being a perfect fit playing next to Embiid — while also seeing a big role in helping the Sixers win now.

White would immediately become the Sixers’ sixth man and would be a damn good one. The Sixers’ bench has talent and potential but is awfully young. At 27, White adds maturity and experience. I love Vassell, but he is a tough fit here with wings like Matisse Thybulle, Furkan Korkmaz and Isaiah Joe that fit a similar mold. You can never have enough good, young wings, but I might prefer another pick or someone like Keldon Johnson, who offers more perimeter shot-creation potential, something the Sixers desperately need. — Paul Hudrick

2. Indiana - Brogdon, Warren + a pick

You could argue this deal makes more sense with the Sixers looking to maximize Embiid’s prime. Brogdon gives the Sixers a traditional point guard that can help space the floor even more for Embiid while also providing solid defense. I love the idea of Warren — especially the bubble version that destroyed the Sixers — as either the team’s starting three or a flamethrower off the bench. Both players offer more perimeter creation than what’s on the current roster.

The reason I like the Spurs deal better is trepidation over the health of both Indiana players. Brogdon, who isn’t the most explosive player to begin with, has missed time with various injuries over the last three seasons. Warren missed all but four games last season after having foot surgery. Both players are 28 and have proven NBA track records — which aligns with what the Sixers want — but their injury histories would make me want more draft compensation. — Paul Hudrick

3. Sacramento - Hield, Haliburton

Adding more shooting in Hield makes a ton of sense. The more shooting around Embiid the better. My only concern is that I’d imagine Hield would come here with the expectation to start. That would mean one of Danny Green or Seth Curry — who were both excellent last season — would have to move to the bench, something I’m not sure Doc Rivers wants to do.

While Haliburton doesn’t necessarily fit the mold of a win-now acquisition, that’d be a strong return. Haliburton replaces Simmons as a big playmaker but with the ability to shoot. Would he be ready for the moment in the postseason? I think it’s 100 percent worth finding out … if Sacramento is willing to move him. — Paul Hudrick

[justeverythingprettymuch]

High School AUs (based on real experiences I’ve had) pt. 2

So, here’s another fifty weird prompts, since people seemed to like the first ones...

(Part 1)

51. You're twice my size and have huge muscles, but you got told off by our teacher for going on your phone, so she took your phone and placed you next to me. I was super nervous, but then you began whispering to me about how the only reason you kept using your phone was because you work at an old age home, and one of the nurses there is sending you updates on the residents. I think I just melted.

52. My friends and I have been calling you "Muscle Man Mark" for the good part of the last two years, but we don't actually know your name or anything about you. All we know is your biceps are the size of your head. One day, you overhear us talking about you and buRST OUT LAUGHING WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR NICKNAME.

53. You and your best friend are Russian exchange students and you're in my art class. You are at least a head taller than me and look like you could crush my skull with one hand, but your best friend is the scrawniest motherfucker I've ever seen. You glare at everyone, while he smiles like sunshine. I kind of ship you together... but I'm pretty sure you overheard me say that to my friend, because you both keep looking at me now.

54. Some freshmen stole my group's usual spot and they woN'T LEAVE. You see me getting increasingly irritated because this has been our spot for the last three and a hALF YEARS AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF I LET THEM TAKE IT NOW. You stroll over and tell the freshmen to leave without even explaining why, and they just get up and walk away. Turns out you're their class' assigned prefect, so you pretty much own them AND I AM AWED BY YOUR POWER.

55. My friend and I went to a department store after school. We were apparently more rowdy than I thought because the store manager is coming up to us, looking really angry, but he's wearing a purple shirt and I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when I'm nervous... so I say "Doctor Banner this is not the place to Hulk out" and he fucking loses it.

56. Everyone in our friend group knows that we're no longer welcome at the comic book store down the road. There are some crazy theories as to why, but in reality it's because you bought a sword from there and forced me to ducktape it to your arm, then proceeded to try picking a fight with everyone in the store.

57. We were walking through a park in the middle of the night and saw a really weird light in the distance, and our conspiracy-enthused asses immediately assumed it was something crashing to Earth. You turn to me and say; "If this is it, I need you to know... (insert whatever you want)." ... Turns out it was just a weirdly shaped paper lantern.

58. You're my best friend and you've just realized you aren't as straight as you previously thought, but instead of coming out to me in some quiet sort of nervous way, you just turn up at my house one day and throw open the door. Without even checking who was home you yell out; "I'm bisexual, bitches!"

59. We've been friends for years, but we've never been that close. One day you get drunk before school and a teacher noticed, so you get suspended for the rest of the week, and for some strange reason you only told me about it??

60. We were on a school trip and you asked if anyone had a pair of scissors, but no one did. Instead, my best friend pulled out a craft knife and I pulled out a pocket knife with a four-inch blade. You're a little bit concerned.

61. We've been out all night walking around and we've just wandered on to our school's grounds. You insist on climbing up onto the roof - and no, of course we can't just use the stairs, we have to climb a tree and scale the second-storey wall because you're fucking hardcore like that - just so that we can watch the sunrise.

62. You're this really scary-yet-super-smart kid that never really talks to anyone other than the teachers, but one day it's really, really cold and you turn up in a Christmas sweater, and I just... can't compute?

63. You were sitting next to me at lunch while I was searching through my bag for my house keys. I absentmindedly unpacked all the little trinkets I've collected over the past few weeks and just haven't taken out, while you become increasingly curious and simultaneously afraid. I've just taken out 3 lighters, a pocket knife, lip balm, a bus card, a first-aid kit, a small flashlight, a box of matches, like 6 pens, and what looks like it might be a wooden cube covered in blood.

64. We sit next to each other in our music class. I don't know a damn thing about music, while you're pretty much the top student. You're literally in the orchestra and three different bands, all at the same time. I'm barely scraping by in the class, so you take pity on me and teach me a few things.

65. Since sophomore year, you've always been followed around by the younger kids at lunchtime. No one has any idea why, but it always happens. Every semester of every year, you pick one of the students to pretty much become your protege. By senior year, the challenge of becoming your protege has pretty much become our school's Hunger Games and it's absolutely hilarious.

66. Most of our friend group is staying the night at your house, so we've been drinking some beer and playing random games. You and your best friend then decide to put on all your goalie gear and wrestle in the garage, while the rest of us sit on the pool table and question why we're friends with either of you in the first place.

67. I just moved out of my parent's house and into an apartment. You and your best friend are my new roommates, but I only meet you after four days of living there. You call a house meeting as soon as you walk through the door, but when we find you in the living room you've got branches in your hair, mud on your clothes, and you're only wearing one shoe.

68. I had a huge fight with my parents, so I packed some things into a bag and walked out the door. Three hours later, I'm wandering aimlessly through a park and decide to call you for advice, since you moved out of your parents' house for similar reasons. You pick me up twenty minutes later and offer to let me take your couch for as long as I need.

69. I was sitting in the library before school when you came past me and hit me on the head with a pile of paper. When I turn to look at you, you're showing off a twelve-page essay and say; "'Can't do it the night before,' my ass."

70. You had six shots of espresso one after the other right before lunch, then came to sit with our group. You spend the entire hour asking us weird philosophical questions, until eventually you just start asking us what would happen if we laminated certain things. Now we're going around the school asking every technology teacher we find if they have a laminator so that we can test some of these theories. It's for science!

71. You took one of the freshmen under your wing this year, so you go to check up on him at least once a week and insist on buying him food. You have dubbed him your son and will literally tell anyone willing to listen about how great your 'sweet summer child' is.

72. We sit together in class, but we never hang out outside of that class. One day, my friend buys four tickets to a movie premiere for us and a couple of our friends, but one of the people who were meant to go had to cancel, so I ask you if you want to go 'cause I know you've been looking forward to seeing the movie too.

73. We went to go ask a teacher a question, but he gets side-tracked because I'm wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt and he wants to talk about the band. You keep giving me exasperated looks and whispering; "Stay focused, we're on a mission."

74. I was walking down one of the hallways, when you suddenly pulled me into an empty storage room. Before I can even ask what is going on, you shove $70 in my hand, and then push me back out. Why in the hell are you just giving me money???

75. We were on a school field trip, but you were only there when they were taking the roll (at the beginning and end of the trip), so the next day you ask me to give you a quick summary of everything we saw and learnt for when the teacher inevitably asks us what happened.

76. You came in to a meeting for a club we're both in carrying three bags stacked up with apple crumble in little foil trays. And everyone is just like ???? Why?? Turns out no one in your hospitality class likes apple crumble, so you got 30 trays of it for free.

77. We both take the same bus all the way to the exchange every day, but you usually just get on another bus, while I leave the exchange 'cause I live nearby. One day you have to go to a store that's in the same area, so you ask me what street you have to go down to get there and I'm like "How would I know?" and that's how you find out I don't even know the name of the street I LIVE on, I just walk there through muscle memory alone.

78. I was at the grocery store with my mother. I saw you staring at me, so I smiled and said 'hi' as I passed you, but then you tried to say something back, while still walking, and ended up walking straight into a display. I feel really bad for laughing, but that's honestly the funniest thing I've seen all day.

79. You and your girlfriend just broke up, so you come over to my house to distract yourself. We end up watching all the Godfather movies, drinking a 24 box of beer and most of a bottle of vodka. By morning, we are both somehow passably fluent in Italian, though we have no idea how that happened.

80. You stay the night at my house and sleep on my bedroom floor, but you get woken up at three in the morning by my cat who is not happy about you taking up his pile of blankets.

81. We have a movie night/sleepover with our group of friends. We are each other's wing-people with our respective crushes, but neither of us sleep that well and we seem to be the only people who can put up with each other for extended periods of time, so now it's about four in the morning and we're trying not to wake everyone else up while we're giggling about random inside jokes we have.

82. I came for a sleepover at your house, but you have two siblings who are much younger than you, and for some unknown reason your 8-year-old brother is up at six in the morning playing with fuCKING BEYBLADES ON WOODEN FLOOR BOARDS AND IF I HEAR THAT GODDAMN THING GO OFF ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR TO GOD.

83. Your best friend, my best friend, and the two of us are passing a relatively small bottle of 'water' (it's vodka, guys) between us, while we walk with the rest of our group through a super posh neighbourhood in the wee hours of the morning. Given that one of our friends lives in the neighbourhood, we've been ordered to be on our best behaviour and not bring any alcohol to this party. Unfortunately, turns out you are the lightest of all the lightweights and now we're trying our best to hide the fact that you're drunk from the rest of our friends.

84. We're walking around our neighbourhood, just trying to explore a little, but we're also drunk and there's this buff as all-hell guy taking his very small dogs for a walk. The first time we pass the guy, we just coo and tell him he has cute dogs, before continuing on our way, but then we pass him again on our way back around the block. The guy lets us pet his dogs, so we end up just sitting on the side of the road petting these tiny dogs while this big-ass guy just laughs at our weird drunk asses.

85. We met at a party a while ago and exchanged numbers, but we've never really spoken much since. One day, you text me out of the blue asking if I want to come to a family BBQ on Saturday. Apparently your parents are super conservative and literally don't approve of anyone that isn't prim and proper. You want to scare them into leaving you alone when it comes to who you date, and I'm the only person you know that a) wears Iron Maiden and Megadeath t-shirts, b) is very openly queer, c) does not give a single fuck about what others think of me, and d) has a reputation as someone who likes to piss off overbearing parents. So... you think I'll be perfect for the job.

86. We both live really far out of town, so we usually get dropped off really early and have to bus for hours to get home. Because of this, we usually end up spending like and extra 3-4 hours a day together, and so we've sort of gotten super close and know way more about each other than anyone else does. Including your strange obsession with making the perfect whiskey.

87. We've been on-and-off frenemies since freshman year, but we've been hanging out a lot lately. Like, almost the entire school day and then we meet up outside of school to watch movies, go to parties or have sleepovers. In the past week or so, this guy in one of my classes has been trying to hit on me and hang out with me whenever I've got a spare moment, but he keeps getting shut down because you're always with me. Now, practically everyone we know is convinced we're dating.

88. You and your best friend sometimes spend your lunchtimes with my group of friends, and you are both super intimidating, but super cute underneath. Most people don't realize this until they see the two of you together because that's almost the only time you guys let it show. Like that time you hand-fed each other pizza, or that time you were trying to sing together but you kept getting distracted and laughing. I ship it SO HAAARD.

89. We were in class and our teacher knew that none of us would be doing any work today, so she gave us a short quiz to do and then started just chatting with us. She is a really adorable and sweet old lady who is always friendly and supportive of us all, though she thinks partying and smoking and stuff like that is horrible. The conversation somehow got onto this fact, and you called me out as being someone who parties relatively often, so I called you out by saying; "Well, you smoke all day every day, so let's focus on that." And our teacher thought I meant you smoke marijuana, and that's how we ended up finding out that this adorable tiny lady doesn't mind people smoking weed as long as they’re responsible about it. AND she once accidentally threw out $300 worth of her son's weed because she didn't realize what it was.

90. One lunchtime you brought up some kind of fact about the Soviet Union, and it reminded me of the story of Lyudmila Pavlichenko... and that's how we found out we were both obscure history buffs and we ended up spending four hours talking about all the random stuff we knew.

91. You're an art student and your folio is due in a few hours. You haven't slept in two and a half days and you've had so many energy drinks that you can hardly even see straight, but you're still really determined to get things done. I come to the art studio at lunch time to keep you company, but I end up having to stop you from drinking dirty water and walking into a wall, since apparently your brain isn't doing the job for you.

92. We're frenemies, so we don't always get along, but we live nearby each other and are usually free at the same times because we have our free period at the same time and often work the same hours. Because of this, we are often the only members of our group of friends that can meet up regularly. One day, I owed you some food so I bought you a 6 for $5 pack of muffins ('cause I'm cheap and don't like you) and came over to your house to watch the Breakfast Club. Your sister and her friend are also there, and they think they're being quiet, but I can hear them talking about how they think we're dating.

93. We went to the beach to hang out with a bunch of people we were friends with, but who were not in our immediate group of friends. Because of this, we weren't as comfortable around the other people there, so we mostly stuck to each other for the night. Anyway, around 9PM a large group of college students sort of stumbled in to where we were all sitting around a fire, and asked if they could join us. By the end of the night, all of the college students are convinced we're dating, won't believe us when we say we're each other's wing-people, and have dubbed us 'Star-crossed Lovers'.

94. You're house sitting at your neighbour's 50 acre farm and invite me over for a few days because the farm has goats on it and you know I love them to death. By the time I have to leave I'm genuinely considering just stealing one, while you think my love for goats is the cutest thing you've ever heard.

95. We went to the beach for a party, but at one point I managed to somehow hurt my toes. I don't remember how it happened, only that you were there and I ignored it at the time. In the morning my toes are kinda blue and I can't bend them, and we later discover that I somehow managed to break two of my toes. You feel really bad since the whole night had been your idea, and you had been involved in how I got hurt, though you won't tell me what happened.

96. You broke your nose twice within a couple weeks, so you have to get surgery to fix it since it's so bad that you can't breathe properly anymore. After the surgery, you aren't allowed to really do much of anything for a while, so I come over with some of our friends to keep you company and make sure you're okay.

97. It's waaaaay too hot outside, but we're supposed to hang out so you come over with ice cream. You find me lying down on my kitchen floor, feeding my cats ice chips.

98. We have our birthday on the same day, so we decide to throw our party together. We invite all of our friends, mutual and otherwise, to your house for the day. By the end of the night, there's been at least three fist-fights, one guy climbed on your garage's roof in nothing but his underwear, and we're both questioning why we ever thought this was a good idea.

99. You're my ride home from a friend's house, but you have to stop at your house to grab something before we go. Once we get there, you make me hot chocolate and leave me alone with your dog, while you go get ready. When you come back, your dog is sitting on my lap - despite being huge as hell - and refuses to move.

100. We jokingly proposed to each other because we're the only people we know who want to have a pagan handfasting ceremony instead of a 'normal' wedding, and one day your mum came up to us while we were at your house and asked you, "Well, have you asked her yet?" And when you asked what she meant she sarcastically said; "To marry you, obviously." Caught off guard, you immediately blurted out; "How did you know about that?" ... turns out your mum actually wanted to know if you'd asked me to come camping with the family yet, but she was suddenly much more interested in "WHat do you meAN YOU PROPOSED?" which led to an awkward hour of us having to explain that you hadn't actually proposed, it was a joke. We swear.

Hope you like my rollercoaster life. Like before, if you happen to use these for a story, I would love it if you could tag me or send me a link or something. I’d love to read them!