#I’m going the ‘she is the mysterious woman�� route but that leads to a lot of strange questions I don’t know how to answer or if I should | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

berserkchip · 1 year ago

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I read through your Noel route fic a few days ago and had a lot of fun going through it! I've always been really fond of this kind of full-length canon divergence AU that explores an alternate timeline in detail and it's neat seeing yours come together. You do a great job mimicking the prose of the original Tsukihime

Some thoughts

Digging into the stuff with Tokie is a really smart choice for this. It's an obscure bit of canon that rarely gets touched on but it absolutely should have implications for Shiki's character. By its very nature a Noel route is going to involve pairing Shiki with an older woman leveraging a position of power to take advantage of him so it makes perfect thematic sense to spend some time thinking about Shiki's previous experience with that kind of thing and the ways in which it is and isn't the same. You do a good job grappling with it

You write an excellent Akiha. She's got ice in her veins her verbal lashings are delicious. Your Arihiko is great too

I'm a little confused about the sequence of events that leads to Akiha selecting Noel as Shiki's tutor. Noel sends home a fake report card with arbitrarily lowered grades for Shiki on the first day in the hopes of getting his family to hire a tutor for him and then Akiha attempts to hire one and Noel does something to prevent any other female candidates from applying? But a lot of it seems to rely on Akiha taking actions that Noel has no control over - deciding to hire a tutor at all, agreeing to hire Noel when she’s the only candidate instead of just getting someone from farther away, etc. I’m also quite surprised that Akiha seems to actually like Noel here - I would have thought her flighty unreliable personality would be something Akiha can’t stand

The original Tsukihime mostly used its (consensual) sex scenes as an emotional climax close to the end of a route cementing the main relationship after spending a long time with Shiki and the heroine slowly growing closer. It’s kind of neat reading a route that takes the opposite tack - a ton of sex scenes early on while the characters still know almost nothing about each other. Noel’s a sexually frustrated adult woman hitting on a student, not a teenage girl looking for love so I think this makes a lot of sense for her

If I’m tracking things right Arc should have resurrected, went to look for Shiki, and gotten chased by Vlov’s minions while Shiki stayed at Noel's apartment. Without Shiki to push her into confronting Vlov sooner I imagine she’s going to lay low for a while to build up her strength and then show back up in a few days at full power unimaginably pissed off. I’ve been liking this whole alternate sequence of plot developments a lot and I’m interested in how far it’s going to diverge by the end. It’s very funny that Arc’s initial assumption that her killer is a church agent will turn out actually be true by the time she catches up with him in this timeline

As a sidenote, writing fanfiction for an incomplete canon like this is an interesting writing challenge. TsukiRe sets up a ton of mysteries for the far side and while we can assume answers to some of them (Arach being the spider DAA is obvious) there are others where it's a lot less clear what's going on and any fic is forced to choose between carefully skirting around the plot point and just making up something while acknowledging that in a few years it may be invalidated by the other half of the game. You've done a solid job handling it so far

Noel’s relationship with Ciel is by far the most interesting and complex part of her character and I’m really excited that the next part of the story looks like it’s going to start exploring it. So far Noel has managed to mostly hide the stuff that’s really wrong with her from Shiki but the further in he gets the more he’s going to realize how broken she is

Ending things here with Shiki’s vampirized classmate calling Noel out for her bullshit and getting stabbed by Shiki for it is fun. She’s really speedrunning stuff - it’s been under a week since she got hired as a teacher and she’s already fucked the student she went on an undercover mission to investigate in the first place and dragged him out at night to help her hunt vampires. Zero professionalism. It seems unlikely that she has any real feelings for Shiki either - he’s cute and she’s fond of him but at this point she’s just using him for sex and professional advancement

I’m interested to see where you’re going with all the Nanaya stuff. It’s not quite a full alternate personality but Shiki changes a lot when he swaps into that mode - the narrative voice becomes a lot more masculine, aggressive, and misogynistic, Shiki’s actions become much more aggressive and dominant, etc. You do a good job distinguishing the two. One thing TsukiRe does with this that hasn’t come up here yet is that when Shiki swaps into this mode in combat he starts doing a lot of numerical computation, counting times, speeds, distances, like his brain is automatically calculating the most efficient route to kill

This is less writing feedback and more copyediting but you should do a pass on the earlier parts of the story to edit for tense consistency. You shift back and forth from past tense to present tense a lot (this is actually relatively accurate to how VNs are written in japanese but it sounds wrong and is disorienting in english)

Some minor canon accuracy nitpicks that don’t matter but I’ll bring up anyway: The Tohno mansion is at the top rather than the bottom of a hill, Shiki only returned to the mansion once after the incident and it was so Makihisa could dismiss him, Makihisa’s study and Akiha’s study are separate rooms at opposite ends of the mansion

This is very much a matter of personal preference but the erotic scene that stood out the most to me here was actually the makeout scene at the lockers near the beginning. The tension of being desperately attracted to each other but knowing that you shouldn’t act on it and forcefully tearing yourselves apart is very hot. In comparison the later scenes where they get to actually have sex relieve tension rather than building it and aren’t as impactful to me

As a final note you should put this fic up on Ao3 so that it’s easier to find! That’s the first place most people looking for english language fanfiction will check (tragically the community of people writing english language fanfiction for Tsukihime isn’t very large to begin with but some readers is still better than no readers)

Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for the feedback!! It brightened up my day!!

I definitely see what you mean about being confused as to why Akiha would choose Noel in retrospect, I don't think I explained that well enough. I might have relied too much on coincidence actually, since it's supposed to be Noel's plan, and the main reason Akiha picked someone from Shiki's school is because of his anemia attack during dinner. It makes sense that Noel could narrow things down on her end, but it makes less sense for her to have been able to get Akiha to pick someone from his school in the first place. Hopefully I can come up with something lolol

And as for Akiha getting along with Noel initially, it's more that Akiha was interested in embarrassing stories about Shiki, which Noel happened to have, and less actually liking her as a person. Their relationship will get really rocky as the story goes on.

It's not much of a spoiler to say Arc does indeed resurrect. I'm gonna do some interesting things with her but she unfortunately won't get too much of the spotlight this time around. Not for a while, anyway.

For writing for incomplete canon, yeah Part 2 is definitely going to have some Fullmetal Alchemist (2004) moments where I'm going to purposefully deviate from canon, and if I feel like it, I may go back and retroactively change things as new entries come out, or maybe I'll just leave it as is and have it be an AU. That's definitely going to apply to Saiki Gotou, but despite there already being some evidence of what Dr. Arach is, I'm actually going to purposefully do something different with her as well.

With Noel, she has the unrealistic and unachievable goal of "a normal life" which, to her, means getting back the old life that she had. Barring that, she at least wants something that resembles what everyone else has, so everything else is just a means to an end. You are entirely correct that she doesn't have real feelings for Shiki, but I think the fact that she took being called stupid 'so' hard because it was coming from Shiki shows that she's 'starting' to see him as more than just a pawn.

Plus, she did ultimately choose to save Shiki by calling Ciel, rather than leaving him to die or risk trying and failing to save him by herself. Noel's arc is going to center around what it even means to have a normal life, which is a big part of why I used that song to close out the chapter. She's realizing at that point just how incompatible she is with the life that she wants for herself.

I really should do like 7 or 8 more once-overs, lol. I had a deadline and I wanted to meet it, but when I started, I was doing past tense just because that's kind of the default, but I eventually realized that doing present tense reads better for Tsukihime, and went back and retroactively changed as much of the past tense stuff as I could find, and even still there were times when I'd accidentally slip back into past tense and be like "wait DAMNIT" and go back and change a bunch. It doesn't surprise me that I missed some, lol. I also notice that I have a really bad habit of repeating words either in the same sentence, or one sentence apart. Like "it's time, now. We're going now." or something like that. very bad habit, lol.

I was wondering what you thought of the extra chapter with Noel at the monastery. I put it there to try and build tension for the eventual reveal of what actually happened when Shiki's memory was blocked out that night, like "oh no did he..." But also I wanted to portray an idea of what it must've been like for Noel growing up after the French incident. There's a throw-away line where Noel thinks about what'll happen if she gets discharged, and that they'll send her back to the chapel, and she says something along the lines of "I can't survive there anymore." So I figured I'd flesh that out to make Noel a bit more obviously sympathetic, instead of having readers infer what her life must have been like based solely off of the things she says.

I also wanted to define Noel's "powers" more. In the source material, it just says she uses "sacraments" but that can be one of two things, either equipment the church gives you, or literally just magecraft that the church conveniently calls "miracles" or "blessings from god" or whatever. I wrestled over whether I wanted Noel to actually be considered a "magus" especially since that whole dichotomy technically works differently in Tsukihime, but afaik it's not as well defined as it is in Fate, so I'm actually leaning more towards Fate lore for how her powers work, and hoping it's not 'that' different from TsukiRE. I mean Melty Blood Type Lumina literally opens every round with "Open Your Magic Circuits" sooo, lol

As for AO3, I'll give it another look, but last I checked they didn't have an option to embed word/pdf files, which might mean I'd have to axe the images, which I'd really rather not. Also I think there was a 50k word limit so I'd also have to split it up into multiple chunks.

But yeah again thanks so much for your feedback!! It means a lot!

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drivingsideways · 3 years ago

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Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask.

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG. (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from. I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties. I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further.

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif, I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do!

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one, of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY.

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will. I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses.

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women. It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it.

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

#kdrama #thank you for this ask OMG #[fiona apple voice] ladies ladies ladies ladies

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chibivesicle · 4 years ago

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Golden Kamuy - Kikuta really deserved better [part 2] 277-279.

Can you tell by my title that I’m a fan of Kikuta and I have some choice words for Noda? Chapter 277 starts out with an introduction to the regional politics of Meiji era Japan. The entire political shift occurred with the marriage of convenience between Choushuu and Satsuma (the Sat-Chou alliance) and how that is playing out in government and the military. With Hanazawa on the Satsuma side a commanding officer is having Tsurumi deal with the damage control. That being Lt. General Okuda (and Kikuta’s boss)

He discloses how he’s the person who helped to cover up the scandal for Hanazawa and more of the regional politics comes into play as he pulls Tsurumi into this.

Recall that Tsurumi is from Niigata and we know he is from a family that lost power and wealth due to political changes. He assumes that of course Tsurumi would hold a grudge towards those from the Sat-Chou alliance. Usami is also from a fallen samurai family in Niigata and we know that Ogata is from Ibaraki and also from a samurai family on the losing side. Tsukishima is from the island of Sado where unwanted people were dumped in Niigata so he is also an outsider. We learn of his ‘true’ feelings as the tells his core group his opinion on things.

I love how we get unhinged Tsurumi calling it all a farce and he’s over Central. But most importantly Okuda confirmed his own intel about the gold he learned while in Russia at some point in time. His gold plan can slowly move along. So Tsurumi becomes in the Hanazawa scandal cover up looking for the young 2nd Lt. and Kikuta, working under Okuda’s direct orders.

Despite his best efforts, Kikuta’s plan is revealed by a secretary at the Military Academy, while we know that Sugimoto and Kikuta are en route to the engagement dinner.

Hanazawa panics and sprints out to determine what is happening. Right on his tail is Tsurumi and his key team of Ogata, Tsukishima and Usami. Clearly this is going to become a huge mess. The next few pages are amusing, but really don’t add value to the plot. I am impressed that Kaeko has an excellent plot to get Sugimoto naked and I commend her efforts! GK is never short of strong female characters. Who enjoy sex.

This sets up a hilarious moment where he’s naked and trapped in a bedroom while she leverages the potential scandal to her advantage. By that point Tsurumi has caught up to them. What is most interesting is when Usami addresses Ogata as Hyakunnosuke and asks him what he thinks about meeting his brother. It is clear this isn’t out of concern from Usami’s part, we know he hates Ogata to his very core.

But as usual, Ogata doesn’t respond and we just see only a part of his eyes, not even a glance of his lips to give us an idea of what he’s thinking.

Kaeko and Sugimoto continue to talk as she reveals what she knows from Hanazawa Hiro. She had been a nurse during the first Sino-Japanese war so it has allowed her to reflect on the impact of war on individual soliders.

This tells us a few things; Hiro’s patriotism is more nuanced. If she were being selfish and just saying she doesn’t want her son to go off to war without experience it, that would be one thing. Instead, she knows being a military spouse first hand what happens - no one could say she didn’t do her own duty and go likely above and beyond. Ultimately, she wants to protect her son from her own experiences and observations and be a mother.

Sugimoto then realizes he needs to bail and leaves poor Kikuta confused. And then bam! The 27th is there.

Of course this leads to the most Sugimoto situation of all time! Tsurumi threatens Kaeko with his handgun and Ogata asks where Yuusaku is. Of course Sugimoto flies out of the bathroom naked sans Kikuta’s hat and Ogata is just amused beyond belief.

This would be complete if he were relaxed eating a box of popcorn or something like that. 278 continues this absolute chaos and lots of fan service for Miss Kaeko! I really don’t think the fight scene needs much meta. Ogata just finds it amusing (and btw sucks at hand to hand combat) while Usami rumbles with Sugimoto. Tsurumi realizes he’s not Yuusaku and Kikuta rushes in and gets shot in the shoulder by Tsukishima.

Somehow, Kikuta is able to get the rest of them to flee but not without running into the actual Hanazawa Yuusaku. Awkward. Tsurumi only then realizes that Kikuta was doing his job and they run out into the street.

Kaeko tries her best to convince Sugimoto to marry her. Granted he is a very heroic figure and he fought to protect her. However, reality wouldn’t allow that to happen and Sugimoto decides to join the army - thinking he won’t starve that way.

Kikuta looks so sad and disappointed when he hears this.

He’s definitely thinking of his younger brother who died b/c he told him to join the army with him. I loved the fact that we learn that Kaeko got to be a successful woman who was also compassionate to others.

There is a quick exchange that shows the first encounter between Ogata and Yuusaku. Yuusaku notices Ogata and salutes him as a cadet.

Ogata doesn’t even return the salute and he look he gives him out of the corner of his eyes. What is he thinking? I’d say Yuusaku doesn’t know who Ogata even is. But something has him very suspicious to be this leery of him. This also makes me think of this previous encounter between Koito and Ogata in chapter 200.

This time Ogata is bolder when he walks by Koito who is also currently still in the Army Academy. Except unlike Yuusaku who doesn’t seem to pick up on Ogata’s vibes, Koito does! And the two of them stare each other down. I think that this in part shows that Koito has more innate awareness of things and could be considered more of a ‘natural’ in the military. Which Yuusaku isn’t. We have no evidence Yuusaku has any sort of military talent or skills.

The chapter ends with Kikuta asking Sugimoto if he’s serious about joining the military and how he’s already fated to go to hell based on what he’s done in his life. 279 continues the conversation between Kikuta and Sugimoto and he flat out tells Sugimoto about how his brother died of illness in the army during the Sino-Japanese war.

Sugimoto then becomes Kikuta’s younger brother telling him that it is time to move on. This continues the trend in GK where a character that is speaking becomes someone else to the listener.

This is most evident with Asirpa when she becomes Yuusaku on more than one occasion to Ogata.

But this facial expression from Kikuta [sobs].

No wonder Kikuta worked so hard to save Ariko’s life! He can’t just always be responsible for the deaths of others.

Sugimoto convinces Kikuta that he’ll be alright in the army and he relents and lets him keep the cap. This shows that Kikuta has moved on from the death of his brother - a big deal! In an unusual way, Sugimoto has helped Kikuta move on and take the next step in the healing process. Kikuta reports to his commander in the 1st. Okuda wants him to keep an eye on Tsurumi. Obviously, he knows now that Tsurumi interfered with Kikuta’s plans for Hanazawa rather heavy-handedly so he would need someone else to balance it out.

It then reveals that Ogata is also working for Okuda in the 1st. This explains why when the two of them crossed paths in the brewery they did not engage but nor did they appear to exchange any information.

I can’t help but feel like something is still off with this. Ogata does have skills from working in intelligence with Tsurumi. He’s observant, makes himself invisible and can get others to talk easily. But Ogata being a 100% willing spy - it seems like he wants something else out of this. Kikuta’s character screams secret agent - but Ogata, he’s something else. I’m not sure if Ogata’s choice to be a spy on Tsurumi was a real choice.

When Ogata and Tsukishima had their shoot out in Yubari at Edogai’s, Tsukishima told him he was a pet cat for Central. Ogata replied that they were part of a rebel element. We know that Ogata was working with Tamai at the beginning of the manga. I struggle to see how Ogata has loyalty to anyone honestly. He seems to be moving throughout this game with again his own mysterious objective. Ogata is cynical and has no belief in the nation state nor does he harbor any sort of deep patriotism towards Imperial Japan.

Since Okuda is friends with Hanazawa and is based in Tokyo, he may have known Ogata since his birth and has kept tabs on him after the Ogata grandparents took him back to Ibaraki with his mom. Ogata’s existence might be a sort of trump card that Okuda is keeping . . . but others found out as well like Tsurumi. Did Okuda have Ogata tell or leak information that Ogata is Hanazawa’s first son? The chapter jumps to the 203 meter hill in the war and we see Yuusaku fallen on the battlefield. Ogata watches from distance, his face cut off while other members of the 27th run out to help Yuusaku.

This finally reveals Yuusaku’s eyes! Not the anticipated reveal - I kept thinking this was something that Ogata was going to see but it shows us clear eyes. Which look sort of similar to Asirpa’s eyes.

So many thoughts are jumping around in my brain about this reveal.

1.) These eyes are not the ‘trademark’ Hanazawa eyes. Dark black orbs with those eyebrows! This indicates his eyes aren’t from his father.

Seeing this, I can’t help but think that Yuusaku is not Hanazawa’s son. Instead, Hiro had an affair with someone else. A major theme in GK is that the children inherit the skills of their parents. Asirpa is able to do many things as she inherited the intelligence of Wilk. And that Ogata is the true inheritor of Hanazawa’s military skills.

Recall this from chapter 58. Ogata leads the crappy local gang against Hijikata and acts like a commander.

We know that Tsurumi’s lie about Ogata wanting to avenge Hanazawa is to keep Nikaido in the dark.

This would also explain why everything we learn about Yuusaku is terrible at military things. If he also isn’t Hanazawa’s son it would make it even more reason for Hiro to try to prevent him from entering the military since he’s not even genetically related to this great line of Hanazawas. I wish we knew more about the Ogata side of things - I think we’ll also learn that the Ogata side had competent military men on it as well. 2.) Yuusaku’s eyes are the same as Asirpa’s and indicate their sort of innocence. In this case, it would perfectly explain why Ogata sees Yuusaku instead of Asirpa when he has the fever and then the melt down on the ice floe. Yuusaku kept himself naive and innocent to meet his father’s expectations. A man who I don’t think is even his father at this moment. Therefore, Ogata’s guilt on killing Yuusaku is tied to his sort of innocence in these situations and why he can’t seem to shake his mental confusion when it comes to Asirpa. However, unlike Yuusaku, Asirpa has never forced herself on him to do things or guilt tripped him so it leaves things open for him to not link her to Yuusaku.

3.) Yuusaku was going to blow Ogata’s cover working for Okuda. Now that we know that Ogata was working for Okuda while in the 27th it means he’d have to keep his role quiet. If Yuusaku found out that Ogata was working for Okuda, I could see him going to Tsurumi and telling him this information. Therefore, to protect his status, Ogata used this as his rationale to kill Yuusaku on the battle field. I have never figured out if Ogata was nudged to kill Tsurumi by his ‘don’t kill him right now.’ comment as one of Tsurumi’s backwards motivations that lead Ogata to directly killing him. So many possibilities! I want more Ogata backstory dammit!

Anyhoo, to not make this meta super long let’s get back to the action. Asirpa begins working out how to try to break the code. Hijikata notes that Wilk could have used something other than kanji, since he’d know the Latin alphabet for Polish and Cyrillic for Russian. Shiraishi makes a clear point that this could be a message from Wilk towards her, though it feels like he’s channeling Kiro. Out of many of the Japanese characters Shiraishi time and time again comes out much more sympathetic to the minorities than others.

Asirpa begins to wonder how the coin is linked to the skins. She’s thinking things through and is on her way to solving the puzzle.

After saving Ariko, Kikuta is returning to Tsurumi’s group in the church. Oh Roger, this is why I love you so much.

Look at that smirk with a slightly watery eye. At the same time Tsurumi is also looking at the coin and realizes he’s figured it out.

Kikuta approaches the rest of the group and comments on if he’s found the location. Tsurumi states that things are just getting started. He casually pulls out his gun and fires two shots into Kikuta at point blank range.

And with this I am deeply saddened and shocked. How dare you do that to Kikuta!!! He was my Kiro replacement and now he’s also going to die.

First Boutarou died and now Kikuta. [cries]. We know that Tsurumi is a shinigami but this is just brutal. The bear death trio died early on in the manga. Ogata escaped. Kikuta now is the next link to Central that goes down.

#golden kamuy #Golden Kamuy manga #golden kamuy meta #warrant officer kikuta #sugimoto saichi #asirpa #tsurumi tokushirou #Usami Tokishige #Hanazawa Yuusaku #Hanazawa Hiro #hanazawakoujiro #koito otonoshin #okuda #ogata hyakunosuke #tsukishima hajime #wilk #hijikata toshizo #Kaneko Kaeko #okuda hidenobu

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rachelbethhines · 3 years ago

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Robin Hood and His Merry Band

list of characters for an original series I’m working on

Alan-a-Dale - the gloomy and cynical bard, the grumpy voice of reason who doesn’t give a fuck, wonders why he hangs out with these crazies, knows it’s cause they’re family to him but won’t admit it out loud, besties with Friar Tuck even though they never agree on anything, is clearly a bi disaster

The Archdeacon of Canterbury - The aging head cleric of the church of England. He supports King Richard but is becoming increasingly impotent because of his failing health. Still holds a lot of political power because of his title though.

The Azure Assassin - A deadly mercenary and rival to Robin Hood. Orphaned at a young age Azure had to steal to survive. She stowed away on a pirate ship at the age of ten and has spent the pass eight years studying fighting techniques the world over. They call her the Azure Assassin because her blue eyes are the last thing you’ll see before dying. She’s gained a modest fortune and fame as a spy and assassin, however she can never stay in one play too long due to her reputation getting out. Prince John has offered her a pardon and a place in high society if she brings in Robin Hood’s head. Shame she’s fallen in love with his brother Will Scarlet, as that complicates matters.

The Bishop of Hereford - Conservative asshole who supports Prince John’s rule and shares his beliefs on ‘bringing order to the kingdom’. Wants to usurp the Archdeacon as the head of the church. Is Friar Tuck’s and Sister Clara’s arch nemesis.

Dame Brianna DuBois - Also known as the The Black Knight, DuBois is loyal to the throne of England and whoever sits upon it. She’s Prince John’s personal bodyguard and unbeknownst to all a double agent for King Richard who is in hiding. However she is conflicted when her duty places her lover Yua in jeopardy. Yes, she’s totally a butch lesbian.

The Duke of Essex - Prince John’s adviser and right hand man. He only cares for power for power’s sake but is sneaky and conniving and willing to play the long game to get it. He prefers poison to swords, but is surprisingly good at hand to hand combat when cornered. Has a pet snake. It’s the only living thing that he loves.

Elenore of England - Prince John and King Richard’s sister and Maid Marian’s mother. She died when negotiations during a worker dispute turned violent. Unable to quell the people’s rage, she was stuck down during a riot. Richard, blaming himself for losing his temper and causing things to escalate has since tried to follow in her footsteps and become peacemaker. Prince John went the opposite route and blamed the ungrateful peasants (criminals in his mind) and resented Richard for even bothering to negotiating in the first place.

Friar Tuck - The jovial and optimistic heart of the team. He tries to keep everyone’s spirits up and believes that helping people is the ultimate expression of god’s love. Is a hopeless romantic and also very, very gay. He butts heads with more traditional leaders of the church often. He also has a not so secret crush on his best friend Alan.

Guy of Gisbourne - From pauper to nobleman, Guy is Robin’s opposite in everyway. He crawled up from the bottom rung by using and stepping on others and he’s always looking for the opportunity to climb the ranks. Don’t let his foppish ways fool you though, he is both a cunning and ruthless foe and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. His latest scheme however is to marry Maid Maiden and become next in line for the throne as Prince John has no other heirs save his ward.

King Richard - Good Richard the Lionhearted is no longer a bloodthirsty crusader in this alternate universe but a peacemaker. He wishes to end wars, not start them, however his more abrasive, uncouth, and impulsive nature can often clash with his loftier goals. Many feel the king would do better to stay at home and tend to domestic matters instead of concerning himself with the conflicts of other far off lands. At the start of the story he has disappeared on one of his diplomatic visits. In reality Prince John has stuck a deal with the king’s enemies and he is currently on the run.

Lady Tiffany - Little John’s little wife and the daughter of the Sherriff of Nottingham. She acts as the gang’s ‘man on the inside’ helping Robin Hood sneak in and out of places and feeding the team needed information. She’s stubborn and spoiled but also very kind hearted. She usually can get her father to give into her demands with just a pout and when that doesn’t work a full on tantum will do. She a woman who knows what she wants and what she wants is her man. Unfortunately daddy dreariest would never approve of their union and so Friar Tuck marries them in secret.

Little John - Robin’s best friend and right hand man. He’s a simple man who loves life’s simple pleasures, good food, good friends, and a good brawl from time to time. He adores his partner, Tiffany and would like nothing more than to marry her for real, in a real church, in front of the whole world. However their relationship must remained hidden from her father, the Sheriff, since the violent lawman would sooner see him hanged then have a thief for a son-in-law.

Lord Locksley - Robin’s and Will’s father. He is arrested for ‘not paying taxes’ but in reality it’s for supporting King Richard and secretly helping the displaced monarch. His arrest leads to Robin and Will becoming outlaws and the series kicks off two years later.

Maid Marian - Prince John’s ward and niece. Her mother died when she was young and her beloved uncle adopted her. Prince John is the only parent she’s ever known and she at first believes him to be a kind and just man. She’s completely oblivious of Prince’s John’s underhanded dealings and oppression of the poor and at first is skeptical of Robin Hood. However as the two grow closer, Marian learns how harsh the real world is and just how much her father figure has lied to her.

Miss Yua - Maid Marian’s lady-in-waiting and best friend. She’s the daughter of Sir Ivanhoe and longs to be a knight as well. She’s a stickler for rules and doesn’t trust Robin Hood and his gang of thieves. At first anyways, over time she too learns of Prince John’s cruelty and even becomes a victim of the tyrant’s schemes. Which puts her in direct conflict with her love, Brianna DuBois.

Much the Miller's Son - born as Midge the miller’s daughter, the young Much longs to be accepted as a boy. As such he’s ditched his dresses, cut his hair, and ran away to Sherwood Forrest in order to be free from society’s expectations. The rest of the merry band accepts Much for who he really is, but at only 13 won’t let him join their gang. He still winds up caught up in their misadventures anyways due to his refusal to listen to anybody, and his determination to get away from his overbearing mother.

Nurse Agnes - Maid Marian’s wet nurse and the closest thing to a mother that she has. Agnes believes in the ‘old ways’ and is very superstitious. She’s also very critical of royalty in general, but is smart enough not to say so out loud. She’s tried to raise Marian into a better person than Prince John, but eventually was dismissed once Marian had come of age. Since leaving the court Agnes has become the witch of the woods and a healer for the poor.

Prince John - The main antagonist. Prince John believes that he needs to bring order to the kingdom of England and feels like his brother King Richard has neglected his duties as ruler and placed the kingdom in danger. He'll do whatever it takes to protect the country including subjecting it’s undesirables.

Robin Hood - Leader of the Merry Band and archer extraordinaire, Robin Hood had to go on the lam when his father was arrest for ‘treason’. While his first priority was to keep his baby brother, Will, safe, the two of them met other outcasts in need over the years have built up an underwound network of rebels who fight against Prince John’s rule. Seemingly suave and cool at first, Robin is actually a bundle of nerves as he tries desperately to keep his friends and family safe...even if it’s mostly from themselves. His world is turned upside down though when he meets the lovely Maid Marian.

Sheriff of Nottingham - The spiteful and cruel sheriff tries to keep the small town of Nottingham under his thumb. He hates Robin Hood and his Merry Band with a passion and sees their continued exitance as a personal insult. The only thing that will deter him from his goal of putting those outlaws in their place is his devotion to his beloved daughters Tiffany. Who distracts him with her seemingly impulsive and shallow whims.

Sir Ivanhoe - A respected knight who once served under King Richard has returned home only to find that his king has not made the journey back as planned. He suspects that Prince John is up to no good, but is afraid to make any risky moves so long as his daughter Yua lives among the court. Her safety is the most important thing in the world to him.

Sister Clara - The resident nerd of Sherwood Forrest and the brains of the team. Clara had joined a convent in order to receive an education and to study science, however her experiments were frowned upon by more traditional leaders of the church, like the Bishop of Hereford. She’s since renounced her monastic vows and has joined Robin Hood’s Merry Band in the pursuit of science! She’s allowed free rein on the sole condition that she doesn’t blow up the camp. She still manages to blow up the camp, at least once a month. Still her inventions are invaluable to the team and she’s absolutely feral with her chim-bombs.

The Trapper - A mysterious hermit who sometimes visits the local pub. He’ll often corner patrons with crazy drunken ramblings and loves to give Robin cryptic prophecies and disjoined ‘clues’ whenever they run into each other. (turns out this is an act and he’s really a spy for King Richard)

Will Scarlett - Robin’s younger brother. Will was 15 when they lost their father and now at 17 wants revenge. He’s a hothead and is constantly picking fights with everyone and anyone. While he is dismissive of Robin’s overprotectiveness, he both loves and admires his brother. Even tries to emulate him in some ways. He also would like to think of himself as a smooth talking clever con artist and ladies man but more often then not his temper gets the better of him. Like most teens he’s obsessed with the latest fashion tends and loves to wear fancy clothes (that he’s usually stolen) He’s favorite article of clothing is his impractical red feathered hat. He’s in love with Azure and is best friends with Much.

#robin hood #robin hood and his merry band

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lovee-infected · 4 years ago

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hello, i'm a big admirer of your theories and watching a movie based on the disney park i thought of a connection between the haunted mansion and the disorganized dormitory, was that a reference about the school's past or if there is a chance to have but a ghost that has a connection with the foundation of the school? it would be very interesting to know how the school came about or in whom the disorganized dormitory hurts inspired, maybe it's just a random idea but I kept thinking about it💓

Hi there and thank you very much darling !😄💕💕💕💕💕💕 Well first of all , I'm greatly sorry for my awfully late response - This ask came when my url was still @/geodraconia (Oof-long ago) and I was mainly a twst theory-only blog...

And now , this isn't a random idea at all my dear and thank you very much for leading me to it ! I'd previously written theories for the Ramshackle dorm but the haunted mansion..? I watched lots of streams and videos for this and I can't believe how much I've been missing all this time omg-

Well then ! Let's go for it !

Twisted Wonderland theories part 4 : Haunted mansion and Eliza's background :

First of all let us quickly review what we previously found about Ramshackle dorm's possible inspirations :

youtube

The designs are clearly based off Disney's thro the mirror and there's no argue on it - But the same design was used in the video game epic Mickey as well

The other point was with the ghosts . I was pretty sure that they're designed after disney's famous lonesome ghosts for both designs and the house they lived in which did share similarities with Ramshackle dorm

Full theory here

Well I totally missed the biggest hint amd that would be the haunted mansion ; a direct and strong source for not only our beloved ghosts but also the main reason and reference of our latest and so far , greatest event which would be the ghost marriage

Before I start talking about what and why leaded to Eliza's story ; let me have a small update on the haunted mansion:

With some YouTube videos and documentaries on the haunted mansion's establishment , you may now understand the high similarities between the Ramshackle dorm and the well-known haunted mansion better :

youtube

You can check the videos out for full explanation but let me just bring some of the interesting hints out here :

1) The three men and the ghosts : Pretty similar to Ramshackle's ghosts , aren't they ?? I still can't relate to the third ghost or...corpse with that beard but take a look at the other two : From the form of the skull...to the shape of the hat . Familiar , right ?

2) The mirror : No extra words I guess , the picture has it all ( Not much different from our dark mirror , is it?)

Well if you guys watch the YouTube video you'll get to see plenty of more details in a better explanation there , but for now let's get to my favorite part :

The ghost bride :

Well then before having a look at where Eliza did exactly come from , let's review the mostly mentioned thoughts on her

1) Eliza does have a Hamilton reference : I personally agree on this one . Since Disney had hosted a Hamilton remake in the late years and because both stories have a bride who is blinded b love and doesn't see the incomplete parts of their crush (Alexander Hamilton vs Idia Shroud lol-) that's pretty possible to be ( I actually had a doubt whether the ghost bride's name is pronounced as El-ee-za or El-ai-zaa and so @poisonepel helped me with it )

2) Eliza is based off the corpse bride : Well this one seemed a bit too good to be true since Tim Burton's Corpse Bride isn't a Disney original , but due to what I found on the bride's background , it wasn't that wrong

Well recently @vaudedrome-dorm too shared pics of the latest ghost bride from Tokyo's 2019 event and the similarities are just too obvious . But the story is far greater than just a cute 2019 parade ; let's return to The haunted mansion's first days

When the haunted mansion was finally open to the public , a ghost named hatbox ghost was one of the strongest-spookiest hints there to frighten visitors ; but due to some reasons , this ghost was immediately replaced with a newer figure named : Ghost bride which hasn't ever been even close to getting removed so far

The first design is believed to be this painting which was inspired by this mysterious photography , (close enough huh..?)

Then through later designs , the ghost bride was given plenty of changes . Each one creepier after another ...

Well well , as you can see , the first designs weren't much pleasant amd the main design was a corpse with a beating heart on chest , which later grow famous with the nickname of Beating heart bride was the longest design our bride has been through. Designs did change a lot during it's time , but the heart remained the same

2) Well years later after having the heart beating bride for too long , they decided to give it an all new design : They removed the heart and instead , came up with a fully digital blue-ish phantom of the bride , which seemed more suitable for the haunted mansion

The bride is stcuk next to the mirror and pics in the middle of the ride , but the most interesting part are the portraits . They show a woman dressed as a bride stepping next to a man , as you move through the ride , the man's head disappears as if his head gets cut of or better to say : they proves that the groom had died

Another amazing design at the haunted mansion is how a ghost marriage is supposed to be taking place there . Portraits and designs are another aspect of it :

Due to having different designs over the time ; plenty of different stories have bee spreaded about the ghost bride's possible back ground , but let's look at the two of the most famous ones of them :

1) Constance, also known as the Black Widow Bride, who was unveiled in the 2006/2007 upgrades having replaced the original beating heart bride tells the story of a bride who murders her husbands and takes their riches for herself, hence the name Black Widow Bride. Constance does not however tell us all of her secrets and we are left to imagine the worst. While it is nice to leave the audience wanting more…

Well well that's all that was explained so far about the beating heart bride which was the first and almost the most famous design of the ghost bride

2) Now Melanie, who is in DLRP, is a completely different story…she was a young bride in love but whose father was completely against her marriage and was devoted to stopping it no matter what…but her parents died in an accident so happy ever after right? No…her groom was then killed by the Phantom of the Manor (I’m not sure who this is or WHY he wanted to kill the groom) and so she kept waiting for him to show up at the alter even in death. And again you’re left with questions, or at least I am…who is the Phantom in this Manor and why did he kill Melanie’s groom? Was he her father hell-bent on stopping her marrying this young man? Was he a jealous suitor?

I believe most of you are well-familiar with Tim Burton's Corpse Bride which is actually based off this story . So to everyone who assumed Eliza to be based off Corpse bride : You were indirectly right ! Because the bride we now are talking about is most likely based off the same thing Burton was inspired by

Okay , now let's get to our best part of the bride's history , something that is indubitably Yana's main and direct reference for Eliza's design : TADA !

Let's take a look at Tokyo's 2019 Spooky "Boo!" Parade where this version of the bride showed up ; a special tokyo event featuring the haunted Mansion but his time , with all alive and human cast :

Spooky "Boo!" Parade :

I leave reading the full info to you but let me bring the important parts out ; the bride

In 2019, the Bride was added to the parade. She walked in front of the float with Mickey and the knights. Her appearance differed from previous Bride costume characters - her hair is done up in a bun, and her dress and veil are more stylized and cartoony - but her dress is designed with a red heart in the center of her chest. This was the first time that the original bride appeared in the parks as a live character.

The bride was accompanied by five men dressed in matching suits and top hats. They acted as admirers to her. They proposed to her and she playfully pushed them away, as they made their way down the parade route.

I wanna focus on this part again

You see!?? Yana didn't come up with that story out of thin air ! The bride , the haunted Ramshackle dorm , the marriage , the slapped proposers!!!! They were are designed based on canon Disney events along with her knowledge and research ; just , impressive

omg...I mean I know that Yana always does her research but this...this was waaaaay greater than what I was expecting...

Upcoming is the Wish upon a star event and many already are expecting it to be a Pinocchio reference , but who knows ? What surprises is Yana willing to give us this time ? Let's see

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #Rest in peace dear tags 🙏

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darlingsdevil · 5 years ago

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Of The Valley (Joel x F!Reader)

Chapter 1: Autumn Days

Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder.

Of The Valley Masterlist

RDR2 Masterlist

Taglist (comment to be added or removed): @fangirl-inthe-us @sidepuff

A/N: This fic will follow pre revenge plot TLOU 2. It will follow the flashbacks and such, up until the day after the dance, then it will sprout out differently. I don’t recommend reading this until you have finished the game.

Welcome to my Fanfixtion. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay here!

•••

The sun rose slowly above the eastern mountains, streams of sunlight pouring into the old windows. The bustling of mid morning Jackson was loud outside, even louder in the crowded restaurant. You kept up with the never ending pile of orders though.

You waded through the chattering crowd, holding dirty plates close to you, you placed them on the back counter and returned to your post by the front of the bar.

“Maria,” You called out cheerfully as the older woman sat down at the bar. She responded with a smile.

“I’ll take an order of scrambled eggs and bacon. Side of toast will do just fine too.”

“Bacons in high demand right now. I can only give you a few pieces,” You replied, writing down the order on a piece of paper.

“As long as it’s bacon, I don’t care if I get one piece or five.”

“Anything to drink with that?”

“Nope. Unless by any chance you’ve got coffee, then I’ll have to buy a cup for me and for Joel.”

“No coffee yet. The trader’s from the south aren’t due for a couple more months, I thought? I’ll be first in line to get those beans when they do come through though,” You said, backing away from the bar to place the receipt on the far counter.

“You might have to fight Joel for that spot, you know,” Maria chuckled.

“On second thought, I’ll be second in line, I do know he loves his coffee. Almost as much as you love bacon.”

“That’s probably true,” Maria responded with a shrug.

You went back to taking orders and bringing out food to customers, chatting with your friends here and there. When Maria’s order came out, you brought it over to her quickly. Breakfast sounded amazing right now, you would definitely order some food once your shift ended. At least the crowd had died down, only a few stragglers were left in the restaurant.

“Here you are. Scrambled eggs and bacon. With some toast,” You said, placing the two plates in front of her.

“Thank you.” Maria grabbed a fork and dug in. There were no more orders coming out from the back, so you took this time to rest. You grabbed a rag and began wiping down the bar. Maria glanced over at you briefly, like she was looking to say something.

“Penny for your thoughts, Maria?”

Maria sighed and set down her fork.

“I need a favor.”

“What type of favor?” You tried your hardest not to sound suspicious. When Maria needed a favor from you, it usually wasn’t good.

“It’s a small one. Nothing too bad,” She said slowly.

“Okay,” You blinked, setting down your rag.

“I need you to go on patrol today.”

“Nope,” You said dismissively.

“Come on, do it for me? You’re our best shooter next to Tommy. There’s a large group of infected near the north that can easily be picked off by two snipers. Tommy’s already up there waiting.”

“I told you I’m not going on anymore patrols.”

“I know, but please, I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”

“I’m not going, Maria. I can’t go.” You shook your head.

“Look, I know why you don’t want to go out, I do, but I really need you to. No one else can do the job as well as you.” It was true. You were Jackson’s best shot next to Tommy. You owed Maria more than a couple favors, it seemed she was cashing in now.

“I’m not going there alone.. I can’t go alone,” You repeated.

“You won’t be alone. I’m having Jesse escort you there. We need you,” Maria negotiated.

“You’re having a kid escort me?”

“Look, Jesse’s more than capable. Just because he’s 17 doesn’t mean he can’t take you up there,” Maria said.

“Will Jesse stay?”

“No. He’s going to meet up with Eugene after to finish patrolling a route,” Maria told you, finally picking up her fork. The second waitress arrived which meant you were off for the rest of the day. It pulled you away from your thoughts. You had been working since three in the morning, helping the restaurant get ready since they opened at four. It was seven now.

“I need someone to stay with me other than Tommy. Someone, someone I trust well,” You replied, your head swimming in what ifs.

Maria sighed, staring down at her food.

“I can ask Joel if he could. He won’t be happy, it’s his first day off in awhile. But just this once I will, okay?” Maria asked you. You breathed out a sigh of relief. You couldn’t say no to Maria. You owed her too much. Even if you tried your hardest to get out of it, it would never work. At least you would be going with someone you trusted. Of course.. you hadn’t seen or talked to Joel in awhile though. Hopefully things wouldn’t be too awkward.

“I haven’t been out in a long time, you know, I probably won’t be the best shot,” You told Maria.

“You’re going on the damn patrol,” Maria glared at you with humor. It was worth a shot.

•••

Joel met up with you an hour later near the stables. He didn’t look happy. Your stomach was doing somersaults thinking about going back out there. You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified.

“I’m sorry I made you come out here to escort me. It’s a stupid job, I know,” You said to him while you were retrieving the horses. You surrendered your horse back to the stables after you left the patrol job, you would rather have someone else take her out then have her stuck in the stables for eternity. Luckily though, she was in for the day.

“Yeah,” Joel grumbled. It stung a little, but you would be angry too having to go out on an escort when it was your first day off in awhile.

You looked down at your feet, the wet mud covering your worn leather boots. “I’m sorry. I am. I didn’t want to do this either.” You said, sounding defeated.

Joel didn’t respond, instead he went off to retrieve his own horse. The stable worker brought you Levia, her dark coat shimmering in the morning sun.

“It’s been awhile since she’s seen you. How long has it been, three or four months?” The stable worker asked, handing you the reins.

You shrugged. “Three months,” You laughed nervously. The worker didn’t know anything of course, no one did.

“Been that long, huh? I think Levia missed you,” The worker said, patting Levia’s side.

“I missed her too.” You gently pulled on the reins and muttered a thanks to the worker. You took Levia outside to the chilly, late autumn air. While you waited for Joel, you gently petted Levia, she neighed softly, you could tell she missed you. You missed her too. You wondered if her new owner was treating her as well. Levia was spoiled with you.

Joel came out of the stables with his own horse, Caesar. Caesar was a stallion with a dark brown coat with white markings near the top of his head. Levia’s coat was completely black.

“I missed you, girl,” You muttered to the horse. Joel led Caesar towards you.

“You ready to go?” He asked.

“I need to log out a couple guns from the armory first. Been a while since I’ve been around here, they change anything for procedures?” You asked, heading towards the armory. Levia and Caesar’s hooves clicked behind you against the mud. Joel walked beside you, standing further away from you then he usually did.

“Not that I know of. It’s not changed since you’ve been out.” Jackson was always changing procedures for how to check things out, especially near the gates.

“That’s good. They might not even recognize me up here,” You joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Joel just shook his head. ��Don’t think they would have forgotten you, it’s only been three months.”

“I’m not coming back after this, they probably will,” You said, walking up to the table set up for guns.

Joel began to say something, but you cut him off by talking to the man at the table.

“Two rifles please. One with a scope,” You asked.

“Sure thing,” The man responded, getting up to fetch the two guns.

“You’re not coming back?” Joel questioned behind you. You could practically feel the confusion from him.

“No, I’m not coming back. Already been reassigned to the bar. You haven’t been there in awhile, have you?” You said quickly, trying your best to sound nonchalant.

Joel dismissed your question, “Maria told me you were just taking a break?”

“I never said I was taking a break. I’m done with patrolling, Joel.” You turned to face him. Joel looked angry, lied to. You never lied, you simply avoided him for three months.

“You know you could have told me that instead of avoiding me for three months pretending like you were coming back?” Joel glared at you.

“When the hell did I say I was coming back?” You hurled right back, crossing your arms in a defiant stance. This was not how you wanted your morning to go.

“Excuse me, miss, here are the guns,” The man cleared his throat behind you. You swiveled around and took the guns from his hands.

“Thank you. Put our names down for -” You began but were quickly cut off.

“Already done. You guys be safe out there, okay?” The man nodded to you.

“Sure thing. Thanks for the guns.” You hadn’t been forgotten it seemed, at least not yet.

Not wanting to cause any more of a scene, you left quickly, heading towards the gate. You felt bad thinking you had been leading Joel on by letting him think that you were coming back, but truth be told, you never said anything to him. It all got back to him through rumors, rumors ran rampant in Jackson, always had and always will. Which is why you kept your secrets under closed lips, the only one who knew of most of them being Maria.

The gates were opened for you and Joel, and as you stepped out of Jackson a wave of nausea immediately hit, a deep sinking feeling like you weren’t meant to be out there. You took a deep breath, hoping to calm your racing nerves. It was hard to, especially with Joel breathing down your neck. Luckily, he didn’t notice, and if he did, he didn’t say anything.

You pulled yourself up onto Levia’s saddle. It felt foreign to be back on a horse. You gently squeezed her side with your feet to tell her it was time to go. Levia was a well trained horse, and immediately started into a slow gallop. Caesar and Joel following behind you.

Levia followed where you lead here, through the dirt paths for a couple minutes until Joel finally spoke.

“You know where you’re going?” Joel’s voice was condescending.

“Yeah. Been there a couple times. It’s common for infected to be in that area this time of year. It’s a sniper's nest. Shouldn’t be too far from here actually. Thirty minute ride at very least,” You responded. It wasn’t worth your time to quip back at him.

“You sure you know where it is?” Joel questioned.

“Course I do,” You snapped back. Looks like it was worth your time.

“Been awhile since you’ve been out here, that’s all.”

“Just because I haven’t been outside the walls in awhile doesn’t mean I have forgotten where to go, Joel,” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You were beginning to regret asking Maria to assign Joel to escort you to the nest. And if things went south for you, you weren’t sure Joel would back you up, with the way he was acting towards you, you could tell he was pissed.

It was silent for a few moments. Joel taking in what you said earlier about not returning to patrols.

“Why aren’t you returning?” He asked, his tone much lighter this time.

You bit your tongue, “Patrol work just wasn’t fit for me anymore,” You replied plainly.

“You are our best shot.”

“Look Joel, I just didn’t want to be on patrol anymore, simple as that.” You shut his question down. Of course he would have questions. Everyone did.

Joel didn’t believe it for a second, he knew something was up.

“Haven’t seen Mark in a while either. Where is he? Taking a break too?” Joel questioned. You prayed he would stop bothering you.

“Mark? He’s around. Got taken off patrol too,” You said quickly. You held on tightly to Levia’s saddle in hopes to calm your nerves.

“Maybe I should pay him a visit, been awhile since I’ve seen him.”

“He won’t answer. He’s sick right now,” You lied straight through your teeth.

“Sick. Yep. What does he have?”

“Will you stop bothering me, please?” You barked out, letting anger seep through your clenched teeth. You took a glance behind you at Joel. He looked annoyed, if looks could kill, you would already be dead.

“Sure thing, boss,” Joel told you. You rolled your eyes. This was going to be a long trip.

•••

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karihighman · 4 years ago

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Witness – Upstead AU

PART ONE: MEETING YOU WAS FATE

Hailey couldn’t believe it. Well, she could believe it, since she saw it happen right in front of her eyes. But she really could not believe that she would be the one to witness such a thing.

She was walking to her car from her family’s Greektown cafe and bakery, where she worked, and she heard a rustling in the alleyway across the street. She turned, but couldn’t see anything. She had just put her key into her car door to unlock it when she almost jumped out of her skin.

A gun shot.

That she knew she heard.

Before she could even blink, the gunman was fleeing the alley. He was panicking, but not only from the crime he had committed. No, Hailey had a feeling he wasn’t from around the area, because if he were, he would’ve ran the opposite way, as the back of the alleyway would dump you onto a service road, which would make the perfect getaway.

No, this guy ran to his right, forward, and even crazier, in the direction of Hailey. She had tried to avert her eyes, but she felt frozen with fear as she heard strangled sounds coming from said crime scene.

Oh god, was someone dying? Shit. She couldn’t just leave them there. She had to help.

She blamed it on her masters in psychology, which she was just two more months away from completing. She was splitting her time between school, and work. It was actually how she met her now-roommate, Vanessa. They studied at CCU together.

Hailey whipped out her cell phone and dialed 911. She was talking with the dispatcher when she cursed herself for not shining her flashlight in the dark alley. She flipped it on, and in front of her was a man, couldn’t be more than 5-10 years older than she, lying on the ground.

His words were mangled, but it took Hailey a moment to realize it was because blood was spilling from his mouth. She held her breath, as if that was going to help something. She was trying to find where the actual wound was, but she was having a difficult time.

The man’s fancy suit jacket was covering his arm that put pressure on his abdomen. Shit, that’s not good, Hailey thought to herself as she tried to assist. “Yes, at 501 S Racine. Yes, he’s been shot in the stomach, he’s bleeding really bad, please hurry.”

“Ma’am, paramedics and police are in route.”

Hailey heard the dispatcher as she dropped her phone, not caring where it landed, and turned her attention to the dying man in front of her.

“Sir? Hey, the ambulance is on its way,” she tried, but he wasn’t responsive. “Hey,” she said with a bit more authority. “Do you know who did this to you?”

He barely moved his head up and down, but that was enough for Hailey. “Who? Who did this?”

“My,” he croaked, his speech cut off by the gurgling of blood. Hailey idled helplessly as the man’s eyes shifted closed.

“No, no, no. Hey, hey!” She exclaimed, ears perking up when she heard the sound of the sirens. “Sir, please hold on. They’re almost here.”

She saw a myriad of flashing lights, red, blue, and white. She had the most idiotic thought when she looked at it. It reminds me of the flag. As fast as it entered her mind, it was gone as she screamed for the first responders to get over here. She wasn’t sure if they could see them from the street.

She saw shadows along the brick wall, rushing to meet her own. She didn’t expect to be pushed and prodded, but she supposed it was what needed to be done. She was plucked up by a paramedic, while 2 tended to the man. He was up on a gurney and into the first waiting truck before the one that stood by Hailey spoke.

“Ma’am? Are you hurt?”

Hailey hadn’t spoken yet, but when she brought her hands up to her face to brush her hair out of her eyes, she found them to be covered in blood. His blood. She felt her breath come in spurts, and she felt like she couldn’t move, let alone say anything. So much blood.

“Okay, we’re gonna get you to Chicago Med just to be safe,” the medic told her, leading her zombie-like frame over to the second ambulance. “Did you see what happened?”

Hailey parted her lips only a tad, still unable to form the simplest of words: yes. So, in a disturbing twist of events, she took her bloodied pointer finger, and etched a “Y” onto the back of her hand, which was clear of blood. She felt like she was watching herself do these things: showing her hand to the medic, hearing calls for a cop to follow them to Med, and a distinct two taps on the back of their truck before it propelled forward.

What the hell just happened?

——————-

Jay wasn’t the hugest fan of the late night calls that Intelligence seemed to always pick up. Well, at least not lately. Seemed like he barely clocked in two hours of sleep a night because he was always on the clock at work.

He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he surveyed the remnants of the crime scene. They couldn’t call it a murder yet, because as it stood, their victim was on his way to the hospital. Blood littered the brick wall, some trickling down to the unevenly paved cement ground.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he took it all in. Why the hell would someone be shot here? It was just outside the dinkiest shopping lot, with a bakery across the street, a gas station on the corner, and a couple of random stores in between.

“Halstead,” Voight’s voice echoed over his own thoughts. “Get to Med. You’re interviewing the witness.��

Jay opened his mouth, wanting to at least get someone else to come with him. Ever since his ex-partner and subsequent ex-girlfriend Erin left a few years back, he’d been rotated through all the rest of the Intelligence Unit. He’d felt most comfortable with Adam, as the two were able to dick around in their free time to take the edge off the homicides and robberies they dealt with every day.

But, because Adam was a bit – according to his fiancée Kim, a lot – dismal, he’d managed to get stuck with a needle while chasing after a suspect a few days back. He was holed up at the apartment he shared with Kim until the end of this week, when his tests would come back. Just to make sure he didn’t catch anything. Adam had called it a “free vacation”; Kim called it “the dumbest decision he’s made in a while.”

So, he was left without his usual buddy, and everyone else had already been assigned a job. Kevin and Kim were out canvassing, meanwhile his sergeant and sergeant Platt were knee deep in the middle of a discussion. It made sense that the only other missing piece was the witness statement. The medics had whisked them away before anyone could speak to them. Jay didn’t even know if he would be speaking with a burly guy or a timid girl.

Only one way to find out, he figured as he climbed back into his truck. Off to Chicago Med, he went.

When he arrived a short time later, he saw a flash of red hair, which meant his brother was making his rounds. “Will!”

The redheaded older Halstead turned at the sound of his name. His face softened for a split second when he saw it was his younger police brother, but fell serious once again when he realized why Jay was there. He’d not been in the operating room while Dr. Marcel was working on their gunshot victim, but, he knew by hearing the experienced surgeon call “time of death” that they couldn’t save him.

Him turned out to be interim Superintendent Jason Crawford. And Will, being the nice guy that he is, would break the news to his brother.

“Jay,” he said carefully as he walked over to his brother. “He didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

“Dammit!” Jay said, slamming his fist against the nurses station. Maggie gave him one of her looks, and Jay mouthed a “sorry.”

“Shit. Will, who was it?”

“Ex-superintendent Jason Crawford.”

Jay just stood there for a second, mouth slightly agape. Well, fuck. This couldn’t get any worse.

He slapped a hand over his mouth as he began to pace. Will’s hands steadied his shoulders, making him focus again. “Jay. Go make yourself useful and interview the witness. I think April’s finishing her vitals now,” he nodded his head across the way. Jay’s head swiveled, following until he saw April’s coiled hair and nurses uniform.

Got it.

“Yeah,” he said, giving Will’s shoulder a quick pat of gratitude. “Thanks.”

He made his way over towards April, and when he asked her how they were doing, he was surprised when she said that “she’s good to go. No injuries, just shock. Blood was not hers, it was your victim’s. All yours, detective.”

He played off his surprise with a cough. “Thanks, April.”

He finally turned to face this mysterious woman, and was met with the brightest blue eyes he’d ever seen. Her blonde waves were mussed, but he assumed that was from the hospital staff poking at her all night. Her lips were pursed, and she sat calmly on the hospital table.

“Hi,” was the first thing that tumbled out of his mouth, and if it was remotely possible to stick his foot in his mouth whilst standing up, you’d better believe he would’ve done so. Really, that’s all you got? He tried to pull it together so he wasn’t just gawking at her. “I’m Detective Halstead, with the Intelligence Unit. Can you tell me what happened?”

She blinked, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, sure. I was walking to my car, and I heard a noise. I wasn’t thinking much of it until I heard a gunshot. Once I remembered how to use my legs again, I ran over to where the guy sat, er, lied. I asked him if he knew who did this to him, and he nodded – well, as best he could. He only said “my” before he passed out, or went into shock, I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. But, if I had to guess, it was someone close to him, because a close range shot like that suggests they were within arms lengths of each other.”

Jay was in the midst of scribbling down her answers when his ears perked up at her suggestion. He felt a small smirk play on his lips, and he miserably failed to tamper it down. “Not a doctor, huh?”

“Nope,” she responded, popping the “p.” Sensing he’d want an explanation, she tacked on: “Future psychologist.” She nodded, the smallest of smiles gracing her lips. She held out her hand, and Jay had forgotten what the custom meant. Damn her prettiness.

He regrouped, placing his hand against hers to shake. Their fingers connected, and even though it was a simple handshake, he’d not felt anything during all the other hands he’d shook in his lifetime. Not a one.

“Hailey Upton.” Even her name was pretty.

He locked his eyes on hers. “Detective Halstead, but you can call me Jay.”

#upstead au #upstead fanfiction #chicago pd fanfiction #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #witness #police detective #my writing

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popsiclemania · 4 years ago

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My 2020 in K dramas (+1 J drama)

I began watching k-dramas in 2018 but I’ve never watched as many shows, Korean or otherwise, as I have in this one. 2020 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I think what helps me really enjoy this over Bollywood+Malayalam+ American pop culture I grew up with is that a smirk on the wrong character’s face doesn’t make me seethe with rage and want to burn everything down. It’s not like growing up with SRK on screen and then having SRK wannabes leave you with lifelong trauma in reality. I can just move on. It’s removed enough from my everyday life but still familiar in a generic Asian family way. Does that make sense? It’s not perfect and it’s not free of its own harmful stereotypes and narratives, but there’s enough of the good stuff to make you stick around. This year I fell in love with Nana, Kim Hye Soo, Han Yeri, Park Eun bin, Ahn Eun jin, Kim Bum, Kim Yong ji, Flower Boy’s Go Dok Mi and Search:WWW’s Bae Tami. Cancelled Ji Chang wook (bye). Desperately missed Kim Jae Wook. Had thoughts on Hwang In Yeop, which were mostly heart eyes. Discovered J dramas and fell in love with Cherry Magic’s Adachi.

My year-in-review below:

LOVED

Into The Ring - I am so glad I saved this for a rainy day because it’s exactly the kind of upright citizen shenanigans my unemployed ass needed at the end of the year.

Goo Se Ra thinks the govt should work for the people but that doesn’t mean her own moral compass always points north. Her purpose is to make steady money, and I love seeing her go hard to survive and cobble together what she needs. The thing that really works for me is that she wants to be good, but she isn’t always. And you get to see her be disappointed, upset, embarrassed and hurt from being publicly kicked in the gut as she navigates a job where she appears, on the surface, to be a supremely confident, self-serving, accidental politician. What you see as her naiveté is mostly just her being a regular person in an environment dictated by backhand deals and rich people politics. She gets hit again and again, and you see what it does to her sense of worth to get back up again, how she grapples with her self. And through all this the show is funny?! Se Ra is what writers of manic pixie characters think they are doing and not doing at all. Love her friends, and Jang Hye-jin is *chef’s kiss*!

Hyena - Kim Hye Soo’s Jung Geum Ja is perhaps Se Ra’s older and darker contemporary. Geum Ja is a survivor and will get what she wants and where she wants to, however many hells she has to cross. She’s single-minded about her success, ruthless and has no qualms about bending morals to get the outcome she needs. She’ll never compromise on who she is or justify how she lives, can build people up and also tear them down, but she also knows care and kindness.

I turned to Signal for more Kim Hye Soo but was disappointed in how the first few episodes seemed to shortchange her. May try again in 2021.

(Highly recommend @saltr0se’s fic series which just GETS Geum Ja so well. Fic writers are the best)

Search: WWW (Finished in 2020) - It took me half a year to finish this. I started watching Search in Oct 2019 and raced through the first 6 episodes because I couldn’t take my eyes off the rollercoaster of Bae Tami’s life. And then I had to take a break because it was a little too close to the frenetic pace of my own industry. As @drivingsideways wrote, a lot of Search is premised around ‘patriarchy? who dat?’, which is why watching its politics play out is so fascinating. It’s also deliciously turmoil-y to watch a very clear-sighted, weathered Tami put on rose-tinted glasses for her romance and then frequently peer over them to evaluate whether it could actually meld into her life.

Catch The Ghost - Kim Seonho oozes charm and perhaps Startup was a showcase of how effectively he can be a typical male lead. But Catch is exactly not that. Go Jiseok and Yoo Ryeong have moulded their lives around to meet their most desperate wishes in life and in the process also left parts of themselves untended. There is guilt, pain and need. Now guess who will tend to whose wounds? Their dynamic is electric even when the central mystery flags towards the last few episodes of the show. I really hope Moon Geun Young is doing well and gets more amazing roles soon. She is so good here.

(Highly recommend @melonatures‘s fic for putting that sizzling on-screen chemistry into words. HOW?!) Cherry Magic - Stories about painfully awkward people are my jam and Eiji Akaso gets Adachi’s shy, nervy energy so right. Cherry Magic is straight up just 12 hours of ��🥺🥺.

Stranger/Secret Forest - I’ve been devouring the entirety of Agatha Christie’s work this year after Stranger reminded me how comforting murder mysteries can be. I love Bae Doona. I also love characters who don’t get social norms, not always because they are out to flout them but because that’s just not how their mind/brain works. (have to watch S2)

Flower Boy Next Door - Honestly, the opening scene introducing Park Shin Hye’s character Go Deok Mi sold me on this immediately. An introverted, penny pinching copy editor living alone and working from home thanks to extreme social anxiety? Love. All the side characters are a lot of fun and I’ve never loved Kim Seulgi and Go Kyung Pyo more. It’s a warm show, slowly rounding off the sharp edges of every character.

JUST FUN

The Spies Who Loved Me - It’s been a year of disappointing rom-coms and Spies kind of quietly turned it around for me. I want to be the fly on Yoo In Na’s wall as she figures how to play her characters. I’ve only seen her in 3 roles but somehow she always manages to be in character arcs that don’t short change her. Spies could’ve been and sometimes is the regular heterosexual fare, but In Na ups the ante over and over again, coming out on top as the smartest person in the room.

ENJOYED WITH *RESERVATIONS*

I have to watch A Piece Of Your Mind again because I don’t understand how Jung Hae In and Chae Soo bin built SO MUCH warmth and crackling chemistry with barely a kiss. I was iffy about how the whole AI thing started off and the tortured musician plotline (angsty male artists will forever be an eyeroll for me).

Park Min Young is a queen who never disappoints and When The Weather Is Nice is everything you want in a winter romance. My reservation was in how they explore so much of domestic abuse and the complex ways its traumatised the women in this family. I’m ok with the characters having imperfect ways of processing and understanding the violence, I welcome it. I’m not ok with the show dancing around whether the pivotal crime was justified/ self defence (it was).

A lot of dramas did this. I loved Han Yeri and Choo Ja Hyun in My Unfamiliar Family, I didn’t like the free pass the show gave their dad’s abusive character.

Hwang Jung Eum’s comedy style is generally not my thing but she was pretty great in Mystic Pop-UP Bar. But I’m side-eyeing the sanctity surrounding motherhood. Maybe I should read more about babies and Korean folklore.

Hospital Playlist was my comfort watch through June and July. I think its wholesomeness and non-plot writing came at a good time for me. But I noticed then that the throughline for all main characters was moral superiority and hence what I then saw as *wholesomeness*. It’s kind of what makes it a grating rewatch in parts. Plus the real life of misogyny of Yoo Yeon Seok makes me want to push his angelic catholic character off a cliff. (For context, i was raised catholic). I want to continue loving Chae Song Hwa, and for that the showrunners need to stop cornering her with overbearing romantic interests (let that woman breathe! she literally ran away to another city!)

Hospital is good at creating moments of comfort, so much so that I went to watch Reply 1988 after it, but had to drop it coz I couldn’t get into it. Maybe I’ll come back to it next year.

Once Again is what I call joint family propaganda. What it does well is lay bare the mechanics of living in a society that prizes the heterosexual family structure, the loops you have to jump through to hide when you break its rules and what happens when you are found out. I love the characters, their fights, their frustrations. I just don’t love the validation of joint families. (context: i grew up in an oppressive joint family lol). In my au, Nahee and Gyujin don’t get married again or immediately have children, but take the long route to figuring out how to love the person the other is. Gahee is openly dating Hyo shin and her parents have to figure out how to process her success and her romance. Young dal and Ok boon have to learn to stop dictating their children’s lives. Joon sun runs his company from home, so his wife Hyun kyung can work on what she wants. Choyeon, Joori and Ga-yeon go back to being flamboyant AF and the market learns to not judge. Gyujin and Jaesok have to actually work on the relationship with their mother and what sent her into depression. Just a lot of learning involved.

Just Between Lovers was a nice watch, i just don’t get how Kang doo and Ha Moon So’s relationship will survive his constantly simmering anger.

Crash Landing on You was so much fun until the main romance turned angsty, but it gave us North Korean soldier shenanigans and the epic romance of Seo Dan and Alberto Gu that we needed more of.

Tale of The Nine Tailed is probably what Goblin wished it was. I, however, will never be over Lee Rang. (Also, when can gods stop meeting their love interests as babies? Asking for my sanity)

I literally ignored everything in Oh My Ghost except Park Bo Young and Kim Seulgi and it was amazing.

NOPE

Goblin, Dinner Mate, Oh My Baby and My Secret Romance were a whole lot of NO, NAHI, ILLAAA.

I loved hate-watching The King:Eternal Monarch with the rest of k drama tumblr but someone please take away Kim Eun-sook’s access to gigantic budgets and all-star casts.

It was painful to watch Do You Like Brahms squander away its potential but I’m glad to be introduced to Park Eun bin. Age of Youth is next on watchlist.

More than Friends to me is only Ahn Eun jin. Someone give her amazing lead roles asap.

Why did Record of Youth do that to Park So Dam and her clothes? Just why

WANTED TO WATCH, BUT COULDN’T BECAUSE *INTENSE*

World Of The Married, It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, Sweet Home, Extracurricular, Penthouse, Flower of Evil, Lie After Lie

WILL WATCH NEXT YEAR

SF8, Stove League, Birth Care Centre but I’ll start the new year with School Nurse Files coz it looks very good.

#long post #kdramas #review #2020 #A DECADE #Goo Sera’s and Yoo Ryeong’s are the kinds of stories I wish I’d watched through my late teens/early 20s #Jung Geum Ja and Bae Tami are who I’m taking into my thirties.

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ninakaina · 4 years ago

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why do you like maria kaina so much? ì'm just really curious.

this is the most exciting question i’ve ever gotten in my life

[image id: a screencap from the pathologic wiki, which says “personality: femme fatale.”]

EDIT: im gonna make this into a video essay sooooooo read it if you want or stay tuned for a video in like a week and a half

first of all, i’m a lesbian and she’s a goth girl. secondly, she combines many of the tropes that i adore in female characters, and i’ll try to get into some of it as concisely as i can. in short: femme fatale, magic woman, scary woman, cassandra, sublime. i’m going to draw some concepts from the essay “the woman in the red dress: sexuality, femmes fatales, the gaze and ada wong” by jenny platz in the beginning here.

in the scope of their function as femmes fatales and the ways they transcend the typical boundaries placed on femmes fatales, ada wong resident evil and maria have a lot of similarities beyond obvious similarities in design (you can see patterns forming in my interests but also if you don’t know anything about ada this should still all make sense). so we’re all on the same page, a femme fatale is a woman of dubious morals and unknown or false motives who uses her sexuality and wit to get what she wants from men. the femme fatale has a long, uncertain, and pervasive history, and a love-hate relationship with the misogynistic writers/audiences/societies that create her, but ada and maria break free of many of the tropes that allow the femme fatale to be part of a misogynist power fantasy. together they have functionally very similar relationships to their male protagonists, although i wouldn’t say maria cares about daniil half as much as ada cares about leon if at all, in which they’re more than willing to lie to the men and put them in harm’s way to achieve their own unclear ends, while serving an essential function in keeping them alive, often without their knowledge (in the changeling route, maria sends daily letters to clara to keep daniil from getting murdered by artemy). they add an element of unease verging on horror to their games through their sheer power - which stems from a weaponized womanhood, the player’s unfolding understanding of the vastness and nature of their power, and the fact that you have no idea what they’re going to do with it. the weaponized womanhood is relevant here because in theory, to a male audience, it adds its own level of horror, but to me it adds a level of love.

like ada too, and unlike the typical femme fatale of books and movies even in the modern era, maria is never purified or punished; in fact, she only becomes more powerful over the course of the game. her death can only come via the plague; there are no plotlines where she may die. even when she’s caught red-handed by artemy in patho 2, he has two options: to tell her father, who is unlikely to stop her and even less likely to punish her, or to note that this is maria’s world and we’re all just living in it and move on. in classic she can get married at the end, but not for love and it’s made explicitly clear that her husband’s role is to serve her, like victor served nina; instead of finally conforming to a patriarchal mold like the archetype would predict, she again uses a man to advance her agenda. (she still deserves better though. killallvlads2020)

another similarity between maria and ada that’s also the biggest way they diverge, is their expanded power of body over the typical femme fatale. where typically the femme fatale is just a wickedly smart, sexy woman (good for her), she has little power beyond the sexualization of her body, and little recourse when she’s in danger besides getting a man to help her out of it. the way this is subverted is the most obvious in ada, so it’s a good lead-in; her power of body also translates into fighting skills greater than that of most of her peers-- she uses acrobatics and melee attacks more often than other characters, making her distinctly equipped to survive without anyone’s help and destroy her opposition. maria, obviously, is not a fighter, and she’d die immediately if she was locked in a police station with zombies, so at first glance she seems to fall more into the wicked damsel aspect of the trope. but thematically and functionally, pathologic is not a game about physical fighting or even physical power. in a game world where guns and bullets are exceedingly rare while information (as well as picking truth out of lies) is the form of power that gets characters to the end alive, maria has, in herself, the access to more information than any male character. aside from mark’s (and grief’s) special role as the fool, clairvoyance and particularly mistresshood are specific to women, and come to maria from the steppe. she’s also “sensitive to lies and deceptions” and “can instantly see one’s true colors”. she is shown barefoot in pathologic 2, which symbolizes her personal and physical connection to the wild earth, a power of body in itself. maria and ada are both apex predators, perfectly suited to their particular environments and narratives- on that note, maria is never endangered at all, aside from typical plague mechanics and distress in her issues with aglaya.

okay, enough about ada wong. beyond her connection to the femme fatale trope, maria’s narrative in itself also draws on a really compelling archetype. i mentioned that maria is never purified or punished, nor really endangered, but that doesn’t mean her story is without tragedy. instead, her tragedy is more personal and psychological, as she’s one of several characters who deal in the theme of lost childhood, and maria’s particular refrain has a hint of lost humanity. these are characters who are forced to grow up, often too fast, and for whom growing up carries an inherent trauma where some aspect of who they were or who they could have been is ripped away from them. i would also call maria and capella’s stories lost girlhood, since there’s a lot of... you know, it feels like stuff that mitski would sing about. i could talk for ages about “i can hear [your mother’s] voice [in you]” and how effectively it’s played for a bittersweet horror. in classic we are very clearly shown maria changing from who she is at the beginning, acting completely differently, and it’s left unclear as to whether this is simply the new maria or her mother’s spirit is literally possessing her (again, some obvious metaphor here). in pathologic 2, they make a change that i really love. maria has already taken up the mantle of mistress or at least claims she has and is in the process of change-- “a mistress in the making”, but it’s mentioned that artemy remembers her from before he left the town.

he says “i remember when you were just a kid. who would have thought you’d grow into-- this?” if you read my writing, you may have picked up that i seriously fixate on this piece of her narrative. from when she was a girl (16 at the oldest) to when she’s 21, she’s changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable, and more than unrecognizable, she’s become a complete mystery, a nightmare. this is a tragic horror, in the sense that tragedy is horror that’s already happened. from the uncanny valley of the familiar turned unfamiliar, the creature-that-was-once-maria, the not-quite-nina, to that same sense of loss as someone who was once just a girl is forced to be more grown than she is and more grown than any person should be expected to be. as anna angel wears willow’s hair, maria wears her own. that one haruspex line asks a thousand, unsettling questions to which we can expect no answer. who was she before? who is she now? what happened to her? when did she change? what has she lost? what has she gained? is this who she wants to be? did pressure from her mother shape her, or grief over her mother’s death, or something else entirely? is this who she was always going to become, or could she have been something else? all of these and more lead into the central questions that define both the dark/scarlet mistress and monster movies: what is it?, what is it capable of?, and what does it want? these questions are, naturally, never answered, although it’s likely we’ll get a little more insight into her motives in the bachelor route of patho 2.

stepping back from the specifics of mistresses, this again carries strong themes of coming of age and lost childhood/girlhood; the idea that in order to ascend so to speak and to take on role greater than you are, you have to either destroy yourself or be yourself destroyed. maria’s version of this story is, again, a tragedy. she is plagued by the stress of her destiny, haunted by nightmarish prophetic visions (which fucking DANKOVSKY doesn’t even BELIEVE), and completely alone, so much so that to express her love physically would destroy the object of her love, and yet she is still the incredible femme fatale i was talking about before. this is where i end up with the quote i captioned my painting of maria with: “a girl burns, and the sublime blossoms.”

i used the word sublime to describe maria twice in my writing, in that quote and in “her eyes are fierce, dark, sublime.” this is literally the best word i can come up with to describe the scarlet mistress, and the sublime is a big concept in aesthetic theory, but one which is hard to describe in itself. i try to portray elements of the sublime whenever i write or draw her although i’m not THAT good yet lol. it doesn’t have any physical or functional criteria except the feeling it causes (for a good example i think of the earthrise photo). this quote on the sublime, by edmund burke, feels very reminiscent of the way nina is described in game: “the passion caused by the great and sublime in nature, when those causes operate most powerfully, is astonishment, and astonishment is that state of the soul in which all its motions are suspended, with some degree of horror.” it’s awe-inspiring, it’s scary, it’s a force of nature, both refined and wild and personally impersonal, and it’s pretty much the only word i have for the iconic maria quote.... you know the one. “and you know, mother, that forge is me. sometimes i wake up with a burning in my chest, and the sky becomes crimson. in that very moment, if i kiss someone, they can see it too. it’s true.”

one last thing i LOVE about maria is the power of self and autonomy she retains, especially in 2. in the diurnal ending as the utopians are planning to cross the river (which was her plan in classic), maria says she doesn’t want to; she wants to stay and create, not art or buildings but people, to bring them into the sublime. her cruelty is how she nurtures those around her, as opposed to capella whose nurturing is in many ways cruel. and it’s in the diurnal ending that we first hear the title “crimson mistress”; where in classic, nina was the scarlet mistress and maria became the scarlet mistress, in 2 nina was the dark mistress and maria becomes crimson. there is no question that she’s not her mother. after all she’s endured, she forges herself into something new, not necessarily brighter but more visceral, takes her mother’s legacy and makes it her own.

so i guess tldr: what’s not to like about maria kaina?

#no more p2 bachelor route. maria route now #pathologic #maria kaina #i really got lost in the sauce here #Anonymous #asks

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strongsassysexysloane · 4 years ago

Text

Long Stretch of Love - Chapter 1

A/N: - Well hello again. Here’s a little something I’ve been working on for quite a few months now.

This story is about a young woman starting a new chapter in her life, opening up a small business and finding love along the way. After all love happens when you are least expecting it.

Sometimes you dreamed, dreamed of what it would be like and what you would do but never did you actually think it would come real. There was never a cost when you dreamed, it was just there, in front of you and you'd look around and it would be just as you had envisioned it so many times before. Reality is much crueller.

Now stepping into the little shop so early in the morning that the sun hasn't even decided to rise yet, you couldn't help but smile. Smile at the peeling paint, the dust covering every surface and the possibility of what it could be. The smile grew as you looked around the spar shop floor and just like you'd done in your dreams you saw the décor come to life as the lights flickered on at your touch and the rattle of your truck outside as your brother pulled in pulled you back to now. That definitely had to wake the neighbours.

The cost wasn't lost on you though, you could never have afforded this on your own, no, you wiped a tear that slid down your cheek as your eyes connected to the one framed picture left on the wall. This feeling was a mix of so many, sad for what had lead you to this point but over joyed to be standing right in this spot with the possibilities laid out before you. That was pretty much how your life had been lived up til now, you lived, moved and once the hardships were done you looked back on them with fondness as it turned you into the person you are right now.

“Thanks mum." You whispered, as the light over the counter flickered and blew out right where the photo of you and her was sitting on the wall. A smirk curved your lips again, you didn't really believe in ghosts or spirits but lately little things had been happening, ever since the funeral a few months ago. The thing was before your mother passed you hadn’t lost anyone you loved or hated so there was no one to haunt you until now. The thought made you laugh a little. If your mother was haunting you, you really were in deep shit.

"Move it sis, you gonna help me haul your crap in or not?" Your brother bumped your shoulder as he walked into the room, he definitely had enough room to go around you. You watched as he not so carefully dropped it in the middle of the shop floor and turned to face you, brushing his hands as he looked you over. His facial expression softened at the site of your red eyes, you hastily wiped away a tear again as he stepped towards you but you shooed him off and moved away. If you hugged him one more time it would be more than you’d hugged anyone in a life time, that or you would completely break down again and you weren’t prepared to do that today. You needed to get through one day without completely losing it. That reminded you, you needed to make sure your punching bag was set up today, you hadn’t seen it loading up the truck this morning so you made a mental note to make sure it was on the next load.

You shook your head to clear your thoughts and were brought back to the case at hand. "That's my books and paperwork.” It was clearly labelled so he had definitely known what it was holding and still brought it inside. “It goes upstairs, not in here, I have a lot to do in here before I can bring my office down here." His expression changed immediately, now it was more of a 'get stuffed, you move it.' but you just rolled your eyes and walked out. Just as you stepped outside you turned and -, "There's stairs outside around back and remember there's a bottle of whiskey in this for you." That was his payment because family never did anything for free these days. To be fair there was a lot of crap.

"Better be top shelf or I'm accidentally dropping half of your boxes." There was a deep sigh followed by a grunt before he walked back out and around the corner to find the mysterious staircase that he’d forgotten he’d walked up not the night before.

"Break anything and I'll make good on my threat of no freebies on anything I make, ever.” You yelled and then added for good measure, “Not even mum's special triple fudge cookies." You grin and you know for sure he’s mumbled something unlovingly brotherly. The one thing you wished that this place had was an access from the apartment to the shop inside but that's probably why your mum picked it. She always liked keeping work life and home life separate, that’s probably why she lived such a fulfilling and long life.

Not one of your family knew your mum had bought this place. You hadn’t seen it until the Will was read and you were handed the keys a few weeks ago. When people heard they all seemed to say the same thing. ‘That sounds like your mum.’ And it was true, she always did everything she could for her kids. You wished you got to thank her for this one but you had a feeling your happiness would be all the thanks she needed and to see you succeed in something you loved.

The sun started to rise but the brisk air didn't chill you to the bone it kept you fresh and moving with all the things you unpacked. When people say you don't know how much crap you have until you move house, they arent lying. It had been years since you moved fully, somehow well your mum mostly, to keep every little thing since a child and had to move it with you, much to your brother's dismay. Truth be told you’d been traveling a lot over the past year and a half, never spending more than six months in one place with only your backpack full of everything you needed. Going from job to job was thrilling for you, not knowing where you were going next or who you would meet. That all changed with the passing of your mother, it wasn’t unexpected but it did happen quick so much so that you wanted to be closer to family and to make your long-lost dream a reality instead of just wandering through life.

With the sun rising brought along with it your brother’s patience. He had grouched for the thousandth time this morning and you just laughed when the grouching stopped as soon as you held out a tin of cookies. You had these as back up because you knew it was going to be an early morning and a long one. He shut up for the next half hour after that, nothing much was said between you as you both worked. You were on your third round, unloading boxes and resting in between when someone caught your eye, it was the first person you’d seen this morning who wasn’t in a car on their way to their nine to five job in DC.

You'd just run back downstairs from hauling one of the heaviest boxes you think you packed and now enjoying a rest against the side of the truck with a long swig of coffee when a woman came around the corner, slowing to a walk from what looked like her morning run. You watched as she sucked in a few deeps breaths and checked her watch. You were unsure why exactly you stopped and stared at her but one thing was for sure she was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. Her blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, cheeks flushed, black sports bra revealing her toned abdomen covered in a light grey unzipped sweater. Her full-length black tights left nothing to imagination. She must work out a lot you pondered and smiled at the thought of this as her usual morning route.

You quickly averted your eyes when she looked up at you, turning you pushed yourself off the truck and climbed up onto the tray to grab another box. Your ears pricked at the sound of footsteps coming closer as you tried your best to find a light box and not look like a fool. The fact that you cared what this stranger thought of you had you on the back foot. You hadn’t cared what anyone thought of you for years.

There was a soft cough from behind you, she probably did that so you wouldn't get a fright even though you felt your heart beat faster. "Morning." She all but sung. You turned to see her stop at the side of your truck, resting her elbows on the lip of the tray, peering inside. You carefully bent over and the lightest box you could for some reason holding the box made you a little less nervous but she continued when you didn’t reply. "Moving in?"

An outstanding observation from the amount of boxes still in the tray and others piled close to the door of the shop but you nodded instead of responding with a sarcastic quip as you didn't know the woman and if you was a local you didn’t want to piss her off right away . She was still staring at you waiting for a response when you shook your head slightly before answering, "Morning...” You stammered, get a grip woman. “Yeah, apartment above." You felt like a complete idiot and added a small smile at the end to not look like a complete weirdo. It was probably too late for that though.

You saw humour in her eyes, probably from how stupid you sounded but she was distracted by easily by her curiosity to get to know the new person in the area. "Renting or did you buy the place?" She seemed genuinely curious, looking back at the shop with a small smile. She continued before you could get a word in, words were very hard to come by right now. You were thankful your brother wasn't here to see you stumble at a simple conversation. "Always liked the owners here before. Had a nice little flowers shop that I'd often buy a bunch or two off to make my place a little livelier except I’m hardly around much to keep them alive for more than a few days." She looked back up at you, her smile fond from reliving the memory but it quickly turned to a frustrated bend in her brow at the thought of killing so many flowers. You wanted to laugh but held it in, she intrigued you more and more with every word she spoke.

You shifted the box in your hands before placing it on the side of the tray, it wasn't heavy but you didn't want to risk the jump down and tripping in front of her. The woman must've guessed what you were doing and moved to the side more but not before she offered her hand to help you down. You wanted to ask if she was sure but the look she gave you answered that question.

Did she know what you were thinking? Usually, it was you who could read people so easily but you were having a hard time deciphering her.

"Thanks, but I can manage." You put a bit too much confidence in your tone and hoped you could make this jump with the exact same confidence. She stepped back and watched you jump and to no one’s surprise you tripped over your feet but you were steadied by warm hands at your waist, they were gone before you turned around. It was possible you imagined them but if you had you definitely would’ve fallen over.

She ignored your flushed cheeks and you thanked her for it with a small smile. "Probably shouldn't jump like that too many times, your knees will ache - at the end of the day and you didn't answer my question." Her words got muddled together. You smoothed your hands down your sides, the heat from where she'd held you was still there.

You normally would've been a bit taken back by how nosey a person was but the way she said it, like she genuinely cared, made you second guess your response. Just as you were about to respond your brother came around the corner and jumped into the truck. "Don't bother, I've tried telling her that for the past five hours." Without a second glance your way he shifted a few boxes around the truck.

"Whiskey isn't going to buy itself, Joshua." You scolded, glaring at his back.

"Oh it's Joshua now? I don't see sissy or daddy dearest helpin' ya kiddo." You wanted to punch him for the pet name which you usually didn’t mind being called but right now it seemed to bother you most. There was only five years between you. He shifted a rather big box towards the back of the truck before hopping down in a safer manner than he'd been doing all morning. Clearly doing it for present company and to prove a stupid point.

The woman smirked at your banter but you saw her eyes light up at the mention of Whiskey. "If whiskey is what you get for helping, count me in."

You both raised your eyes at the woman. She was very forward but you liked her even though you had hardly met her. Hell, you didn’t even know her name yet. "Bought. Mum bought it for me before she passed." You answered her earlier question. The brightness and spark in her eyes instantly darkened however instead of pity, something you'd both gotten far too much over the past few months, you saw compassion and heart ache from someone who knew the kind of pain you’d felt.

"That's an incredible gift." Was all she said. She took a look back at the shop before adding. "I should probably finish my run." Although the way she said it made it seem it was the last thing she wanted to do.

"What happened to that hand you just offered? You ain't intruding, you'd probably be more help than this one. I seem-" You turned to glare at him again which cut him off instantly this time.

He took the large box and walked into the shop, you tracked his movements and when you couldn't see him anymore, you turned your attention back to the beautiful blonde in front of you. "My names Y/n by the way.”

"Sloane, Jacqueline Sloane but please call me Jack." She held out her hand and you took it. She had a firm but gentle hold, her fingers smooth against your skin but you could feel small calluses on her palm. She must like to do a bit of handy work or weights, now that had your mind spinning. What was wrong with you today?

You dropped her hand after a few seconds too long and cleared your throat. "If you can put up with our banter it would be a great help but don't feel like you have to. It was incredibly kind of you to offer help to a complete stranger." Confusion set in your brow, why would someone offer such help to a stranger? You hadn't seen such kindness in a person for a long time. The only person who would do something like that that you know, or knew was your mother. The thought of her softened your expression.

Jack was about to answer with what you guessed was a yes to her offer because she just seemed like that overly caring and helpful person but her cell cut it off. "Sorry, I need to take this." She stepped away as she answered.

"You gonna stare at the stranger or help me move your crap into your building." His emphasis on crap only made you want to hit him harder but instead you picked up the box you were previously holding and followed the shithead inside. "Also feel free to carry the heavier items, save me the chiropractor bill."

You didn’t give him a smart quip back, you were still stuck on your building. You hadn’t owned anything more than a second hand car before and now owning a building was just completely mind blowing to you. The thought of that may never sink in completely so you continued hauling you stuff inside.

You placed another box just inside the door as you heard Jack finish her call. You were about to say something rude and mean to your brother but her presence stopped you.

Jack slid her phone back into her pocket of her tights and smiled at you. "Sorry, work calls."

"Saved by the bell." You smiled even though you knew it meant the end of this meeting.

She swayed like she was weighing up the options. "Not really, I would prefer helping you." Now her eyes matched the beautiful smile, they shone with something you couldn't quite explain. Who would prefer moving someone else’s things rather than work? Clearly her job wasn't as interesting as she seemed to be. "I'll see you around, then?"

Again, you realized you'd been staring for a little too long rather than being a normal human and replying to her. "I'll be here. This your normal run?"

"Sure is, every morning the sun rises and I don't have to work too late the night before or have too many beers." The last added comment made you smirk. “It’s either running or going a few rounds on the punching bag.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. You had a feeling people judged the punching bag answer by the way she shied away from it, just like when men heard you say it and instantly took a step back.

However, you keep a note in the back of your mind to figure out what beer she liked, but first you probably should get to know her a bit more. "Hope work isn't too bad."

Jack laughed, like what you said was unlikely before started jogging down the pavement. You watched for a bit too long as your brother just stared at you from the front door. You shot him a glare when you saw his smirk and pushed past him with the next box. He didn’t say a word.

The next few hours were spent doing the same thing, driving back and forth between your old apartment that you’d only been renting for two months and the new place. Plus a few runs to your parent's place to pick up somethings your father had put into boxes from the kitchen. Things he swore he'd never use because it was all your mothers and you were the only cook in the family now. The kitchen was very much your mother’s domain, a place you remember fondly growing up, watching her dance around the kitchen making delicious sweets, pastries and rich scrumptious dinners. Yelling your brother and father to stop eating all the ingredients before she even made the goodies and politely telling your older sister to leave the kitchen while she was in the middle of cooking. One rule when your mother was in the kitchen was that no one else was allowed but you seemed to be the only one who took that rule seriously. When you grew up a bit and started cooking by yourself, you understood why.

Your brother bailed midafternoon claiming a sore back and he needed a nap. It was Saturday after all and you knew that meant a few beers and watching some kind of sport. Another reason your brain flicked back to Jack this morning, who worked on a Saturday or got called into work on a Saturday? She didn’t look like a person who worked in Retail or Hospitality for that matter. Josh guessed she was a doctor or something. He only guessed that because you pondered it out loud by accident a short while after she left. To your surprise he hardly teased you about her at all which had your suspicions high for the rest of the day.

Whomever she was and whatever she did, she had clearly struck something in you because when you heard a cough at the front door the next morning you smiled widely at who it was. "G'morning."

"More moving today?" She skipped the normal ‘good morning’ which made you smile and stepped in when she knew you didn't mind as you didn't move from your spot on the floor sorting through one of the boxes of pictures. She looked around as you picked out the frames you wanted. This would've been a box you normally would keep in your home but as your mum bought this shop for you, you figured some photos should be hung up around to show who this place was for.

You placed the last frame on the floor and hopped up, grabbing your coffee from the counter. "Later. Josh complained he needed a sleep in after yesterday so we are starting at 0900." Jack's eyes lit up and snapped back to you at the use of military time. Without explaining you questioned, "Father was in the Core, you?"

"Me. Army." She walked along the counter that ran almost the length of the shop and stopped right in front of you.

Something in her eyes, made you not ask anything more about her Army days. "Guess you didn't work too late last night then." Her brows drew in, in confusion and then it clicked, you saw the light bulb flash in her eyes.

"No, team got a case, I helped as best I could but ended up leaving early afternoon."

"Cop?" Now this made even more sense and also clicked together why she would help a complete stranger.

"Special Agent and Forensic Phycologist, actually. You got more of that coffee or do I have to help unpack to get some?" Her eyes on your cup as you drew it close to your lips again with a smirk.

You gulped down, you watched her eyes track it and then shoot to your eyes again. Did the room just get a little warmer? "Impressive. Explains a lot." Your eyes shot open as your lips let slip what you were thinking rather than keeping it in your head but it made Jack smile which was worth it. "How do you like your coffee?" You place your cup down and put some space between you by walking around the counter to pour her a cup.

"Sugar with a hint of coffee, don't judge."

You snort with her quick add-on of judging as you pour what's left of your premade pot and froth up from milk. "Isn't that your job?" You shoot back, your back turned so you miss her roll of the eyes.

"No, I read minds, actually." She sassed you back which only made you like her more. You’d only been talking to her for a total of ten minutes including yesterday’s greeting and you felt far too comfortable around her.

Taking the pot of sugar beside your coffee machine and the cup of coffee, you place both on the counter in front of her and grab a teaspoon before handing it to her as you would a knife. She quirks up a brow but takes the spoon. "Don't like putting in the sugar?"

"It's a delicate balance of too much or too little so I'll let you taint your coffee as much as you desire." You try to hide the horror on your face as she pours way too much sugar into such a good dip of coffee. But the hum you hear as the brew hits her lips distracts you completely. Something bubbles inside you and you push it away, distracting yourself with another box of memories

"Thanks." She breathed behind you as she stepped closer, looking over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. It was another box of photographs. "I can lea-" Sensing your mood change as you picked up an old photo.

"Haven't ordered the takeaway cups yet." You answer but your mind is back in a memory of the photo you are holding. "And that's my favourite cup." You add.

At your words Jack looks at her cup. She didn't take note of it before, too preoccupied on getting some much-needed bean juice after her extra-long run this morning. She'd actually woken up earlier than anticipated and added an extra block to make sure she got to the shop at the same time she did the morning before and didn’t want to put too much thought into why she wanted to so much. She smirked at the Harry Potter quip "Don't let the muggles get you down." She read aloud.

"You aren't a muggle are you?" Still not looking up from the photo in your hand.

"No Harry, I'm a wizard." You laughed and the sound of her laughter brought you out of your memory.

You placed the frame on the counter, it was of you and your mother in the kitchen of your first house. You were sitting on the counter, giggling because you weren't allowed up there when she was in the kitchen but she was laughing as well. "Don't remember this but-" Your words were lost as a tear rolled down your cheek, you quickly wiped it away before Jack saw. If she did, she didn't say anything.

She smiled at the photo. "But looking at this photo feels like you do." She finished your thought and you nodded slowly.

You'd never let a stranger this close into your bubble but she just seemed to fit and felt less strange than even your closest family. Then it clicked, this was her job, she was trained to get people to open up to get into their heads but there was a big part of you that knew this was different.

The minutes passed by as you went through more of the photos and shared the memories with Jack. She listened and added to the conversation when it was needed but you mostly did the talking. All too soon her coffee ran out and neither of you could think of an excuse for her to stay.

"Thanks for letting me unload on you. Probably weird from someone you hardly know." You shifted awkwardly, not looking her in the eyes.

Jack shrugged. "Not in my profession, I always like to hear fond stories, memories, usually all I get in my job is horrible ones." She placed the cup down on the counter beside yours. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" If you didn't know any better and you hoped you didn't, you could've sworn there was a rise in the second half of the question. She wanted to see you tomorrow.

You looked up at her then, folding a box into the corner with the rest. "I've got a few meetings over town tomorrow to start sorting out the shop. So.."

"- a sleep in is definitely needed before that." She picked up where you were going and hid her disappointment with a smile, stepping towards the door. "You'll be exhausted after the weekend moving."

"Hadn't slept so well in months until last night." You didn't add on that you dreamt about your meeting yesterday, she'd read too much into it and probably think you were creepy. "I'll see you around, Sloane." You smile as you watch her walk out.

Her smile falters for a moment, you don't see it because she’s almost out the door but Jack picks up her smile again and turns to you as she exits. Ignoring the feeling in her gut after you said her last name with a low gravel in your tone. "You still haven't mentioned what you're doing with the shop." Although by the reference to cups and the larger coffee machine behind the counter it would take an idiot to not know what you had planned for this place. She was just grabbing at straws to extend the conversation that little bit longer.

"Coffee shop.” You smile at her before walking around the counter and add, “with the sweets that will even have your sugar levels satisfied." You look up to see a beaming Jack in your door highlighted by the morning sun.

She laughs, "I look forward to it.", and she was gone before you could add in me too, although you were pretty sure she could work that one out on her own.

-------------- How’d I do? This one has been stewing for so long and I enjoy the idea so much so I hope I can pull it off. I’m hoping to update this story every few weeks so don’t rush me >.<

#jack sloane x reader #jack sloane #ncis x reader #fem!reader #Long Stretch of love

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gisachi · 4 years ago

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can you please do 23 please??

Sorry for the very long wait! Thank you for this~ I know there are already so many fics similar to this, but that won’t stop me anyhow. Let this be an additional cake to the OTP food trope that we all love. 😆 Hope you enjoy another little ShinRan teasing / fluff~!

23. A kiss that tastes of the food/dessert they are eating. (1,518 words) .

Ran’s been doing something. It’s a rather odd way to throw him off his concentration, but it’s really happening.

Maybe his classmates are blind for not noticing, because something as blatant as that can catch anyone’s eyes so easily. Clearly she wasn’t like that yesterday, so the difference is quite obvious. Just this morning, she’s done it eight times, more for the times he isn’t able to pay attention, which is unlikely.

Her lips aren’t dry - in fact they’re the softest he’s ever touched, ever felt - so to necessitate the application of that brand new yellowish balm she keeps hidden in her uniform pocket is today’s mystery. He is no expert when it comes to stuff like this, but he sure as hell knows that one shall not wet their lips before or after applying lip balm. But that is what she’s doing, and it’s racking his nerves to the point of insanity, in more ways than one.

He tries bringing it up with Nakamichi, but the dude isn’t as observant as he is - a shame. Dude merely shrugs it off and grins, saying something like, it’s his newest addiction. And Ran’s lips. What the hell is he talking about.

(He’s been addicted to those for a long time.)

The second mystery is how she suddenly thinks of buying one of those flavored breads they always pass by on their way to the detective agency. It has no stuffing in it - thank god - and she isn’t offering him any. He doesn’t mind, he isn’t hungry. But still...

Loud munching in his presence - in her room - crumbs settling on the corner of her alluring lips and she does it again, tip of tongue delectably reaching for the farthest bits it can reach. It’s slick, flexible, pairing with her ever so irresistible red lips and oh, the herculean effort to resist grabbing her face and entangling it with his own—

It’s not just about her lips. It’s her lips and...

“Hey, stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Licking your lips every ten seconds. It’s annoying the crap out of everyone.”

She blinks at him. “But you’re the only one here.”

“Well-”, he stammers, avoiding her gaze, “when we were in class, it annoyed some people too.”

Ran arches an eyebrow. “It did?”

“Yes,” he lies, “So stop.”

From his peripherals, he sees her shrug before downing the last slice of bread, moist lips wrapping around the food before disappearing into her mouth, then licks leftover crumbs from her fingertips. After that fairly eye-pleasing show, she cups her cheeks with both hands, elbows resting on the kotatsu as she stares at him, a mixture of mischief and innocence swirling in her eyes, like that’s even possible. “Not supposed to matter now that we’re alone though?”

Shinichi groans. He doesn’t want to get started, but he should’ve known calling her out won’t deter her at the least; it’ll just fuel her desire to annoy him even more.

“Are you bothered, Shinichi?”

Stealing a glance at her is a bad idea. The moment he does, her wet tongue travels her upper lip in one painstakingly languid sweep, and his poor self doesn’t know if he’ll allow his jaw to freely hang slack in fascination or fight the temptation growing in him in the form of teenage hormones. What’s the deal with this woman?

He takes pride in his temperance, no matter how hapless it leaves him sometimes - just like now - but he lets his ever magnificent composure prevail.

In what seems to be an attempt at ignoring the warning bells blaring in his ears, he rolls his eyes and exhales sharply, diverting his attention to his notebook.

“I’m gonna leave if you won’t stop.”

“Oh! But look outside. It’s about to rain.”

“I’m going to stay downstairs, at the agency.”

“Dad’s live streaming Yoko-chan’s concert. You cannot concentrate.”

“I’ll stay at Poirot.”

“It’s closed today.”

He rolls his eyes skyward. “Then can you please stop?”

She giggles. “Make me?”

Shinichi feels the tip of his ears heat up. This is not funny. It’s frustrating and it’s draining the life out of him. Is this a test? How can she drop those lines so smoothly without stuttering? What’s gotten into her? What plan does she have in her sleeve? Shall he go with the flow? But what if it’s a test? Must he give up? Give in? Why prolong the agony? If she wants to kiss him as bad as how he wants to kiss her right now, why not go ahead and just do it?

“Ran, I swear to god if you won’t stop…”

“I will stop,” she purses her lips and parts them in a teasing pop, then her voice drops low, and raspy, and hot, “So hurry up and make me.”

Ah, well, fine.

Beating around the bush is, indeed, very tiresome.

He doesn’t waste a single second pushing her to the floor, pinning her wrists above her head. His face hovers above hers as he inhales her scent momentarily, fruity like citrus, fresh like baked bread. When she teases him with another tongue swipe, he cuts through her with his own tongue grazing her upper, then lower lip, before sliding carelessly in her mouth.

He feels her exhale deeply through her nose, a delighted ‘mmph’ rolling out her lips. He knew it. She’s testing him. He played right into her hands. Yielded to her plan. He’s above her - right where she probably wanted - stopping her himself from licking her damned annoying soft lips, using his own tongue. A total, disgraceful, loss but...can he really call this losing?

Is he losing when he’s on top of her, feeling her curves through their uniform? Her body arching onto him as her wrists relax under his hold? Her flesh in close, wonderful contact with his, trembling in utmost anticipation? How is it losing when he can finally - freaking finally - savor the sweet, glorious taste of Ran and...and, wait, a little key lime pie? Is that bread actually key lime pie? What? And her balm? Tastes like citrus too? But she…? How?

They separate breathlessly, and this time, it’s his turn to lick his own lips.

“I...thought you hated lime.”

“I do,” she mumbles, “but you like it, so...” the thought trails off, the last bit barely audible.

A growing blush colors his cheeks. Then he snickers, burrowing his head in her shoulder to hide it.

“All this time, you’re… Geez. Wow, I...Can’t believe you’re that kind of idiot.”

Ran giggles too, a little more breathily.

“Makes two of us. I was so convinced you wouldn’t catch on.”

“Mind you, I did. It was just too bizarre to even have as a thought.”

“Hey, honestly though, I was really licking my lips in distaste. The lime was killing my taste buds.” She scoffs.

“Thought you were totally flirting with me.”

“Hah. Did it mainly look like I was?”

“Deny, sure, but it doesn’t change the fact that you devised a plan for me to do this,” he grins. “Can’t believe you had it in you, Ran.”

He feels her smile against his shoulder. “Mm. Can’t believe you fell for it either.”

They relish the silence a little more, before he finally speaks.

“You know... if you want to go down this route, you could’ve just asked me to chew some of your favorite strawberry flavored candy or something,” he lifts his head, still not removing her from entrapment, “makes it less cumbersome for us ‘cause unlike how lime is for you, I don’t hate it.”

She blinks, shocked. “Wait, so...you’ll let me kiss you?”

“Haah? Why the hell not?”

“You’ve always been the initiator and I always wait so, y’know...I’m not used to...” she blushes. He laughs. Loud.

“Raan. Goodness. Lead me on. Kiss me any freaking time. I’ll be the happiest man on earth.”

“Even while in school?”

“Even while in school.”

“But I thought you hate PDA’s.”

“I do,” he confesses, “but if you’re so eager to try it, then…”

Her plump, rosy lips glisten under the fluorescent; it’s hard not to stare at them. They’re like halves of one ripened strawberry, juicy and fresh, waiting to be tasted, to be savored and eaten. Good thing he doesn’t hate strawberries. Even if he does, why waste a perfectly good opportunity to reconsider?

Cheeks turning the same color, she swipes her tongue in between her pursed lips, purposely wetting them more.

“I-I see...But for now...Aren’t you gonna continue?” Her teeth dig her bottom lip, shy but determined. “There’s still lime in my mouth… a lot on my tongue...so...”

It’s silly, this kind of approach, but for him who’s been restraining for a couple of hours now, a jumpstart from her - whatever and however she prefers - is all that’s needed and he won’t even dare have second thoughts indulging right in.

“Well…for a start, you can always gargle it out…”

“Shinichiii.”

He sniggers. “I know, I get it,” he dips his head lower, “Let me take all the lime out for you.”

The cleanup proceeds in earnest.

#shinran #kiss prompts #fanfic #ohh kinda word vomited again soooo #why lie we want more teasing scenes between the two #another cake to the hundreds of cakes out there!#still!! hope u enjoy this!!#💗

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merakiaes · 5 years ago

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Play Pretend - Finn Shelby

Pairing: Finn Shelby x reader

Requested: Yes.

Prompts: #1 from the common trope-list.

Warnings/notes: No warnings or notes really. It’s not proofread so sorry in advance for any possible mistakes. I hope you like it xx

Wordcount: 2884

Summary: Finn asks you to pretend to be his fake girlfriend for an evening and meet his brothers to get them off his back for being a virgin and not accepting the prostitutes they keep hiring for him.

You and Finn had been very close friends for almost a year now.

You had met for the first time when you had been walking with your little sisters down by the cut and he had been accompanying his uncle to the docks, waiting for him while he was off talking to someone by the ships. You had stopped near him while your sisters threw some stale bread to the ducks, introduced yourself and sparked up a conversation to pass time in the cold, autumn weather and you had clicked immediately.

His uncle had come back only about five minutes into your conversation, but you told him you’d be walking the same route around the same time the next day, and that you hoped you would see him around again.

The next day, you saw him at the exact spot again, and you had been meeting up ever since whenever his brothers would go off on business without him because other than them, you were his only company.

He had met your siblings on the times you’d been forced to take them with you while meeting him, and he had briefly met your parents a few times when he had been walking you back home on the later evenings.

They weren’t too fond of the idea that their daughter was associating herself with a Peaky Blinder, but they understood pretty quickly that Finn was in no way a violent boy. You hadn’t met his brothers and usually stayed close to home when you were with him, anyway, so they weren’t too worried.

You weren’t anything more than friends, but you both harbored feelings for each other that the other had no idea existed. If you would have known that he liked you as more than a friend and vice versa, you probably would have stopped beating around the bush a long time ago.

But despite being eighteen, you were both very soft and careful in comparison to other people your age. You were both generally innocent, and both virgins, which was Finn’s biggest dilemma in life right now.

His brothers had found out that he had never been intimate with a lady before and hired a prostitute for him for his eighteenth birthday. But he couldn’t do it. It felt wrong. Mostly because of his feelings for you, but also because he simply didn’t want it that way.

So he had kept the girl in his room for half an hour, just making conversation and letting her rest as she was clearly exhausted, and then paid her extra to not let spill to his brothers that they hadn’t had sex and sent her on her way.

When asked by Tommy how it had gone, he told him it had gone well, and then gone straight out to tell you about it.

Tommy and the others had believed him to a start, letting go of the subject for a few days. But then they found out that he had lied, proceeded to sit him down and ask him if he was a sodomite or if he was having… trouble. Finn denied everything and told them he just didn’t feel like it, but they never stopped pressuring him, pushing prostitute after prostitute after prostitute his way.

Finally, he had gotten fed up and let it slip that the reason he didn’t accept their favors was that he was in love with someone else, and as you were his only lady friend, your name was the one to slip from his lips when Tommy had asked who it was.

It was safe to say that the conversation he had been forced to have with you after this had been awkward, to say the least.

His brothers were skeptic that he was telling the truth, seeing as they had never seen him with a girl before, and told him to invite you to the Garrison so that they could meet you.

He hadn’t been in any position to say no, and had, a stuttering mess, asked you to be his fake girlfriend for an evening.

The question had shocked you and left you speechless. You had been disappointed that he hadn’t asked you to a real date but rather one made out of lies, but still, his request brought a heavy blush to your face and as the loyal friend you were, you accepted.

You were nervous. Despite it all being play pretend, the fact still remained that you were only seconds away from meeting your crush’s family, who just happened to be the Peaky Blinders.

When your parents had asked what you and Finn was going to do today, you had been forced to lie to them for the first time. Since this was only going to be a one-time thing, meeting the Peaky Blinders were not a conversation you wanted to have with them.

God knows they would probably lock you in your room and not let you come out for a year.

The entire walk from the canal where you had met up with Finn had been pretty much entirely quiet, the air between you slightly awkward but not uncomfortable. You walked for five minutes, taking your time, before you finally reached the Garrison in which his brothers and aunt was waiting.

Finn stopped outside, making sure you couldn’t be seen through the windows so that you could get some privacy and talk strategy without being overheard or seen before going inside.

He gave you a shy look, his cheeks rosy from the cold. “Would you mind if I put my arm around you?” He asked, bringing his hands out of his pockets. “You know, for show.”

“No.” You shook your head with a comforting smile, sensing his nervousness. “Go ahead. If we’re going to pull this through, we’ll have to make it believable.”

He offered you a smile back and carefully put his arm around your waist, leading you inside the pub.

It was empty, not having opened yet at it was still early in the day, but in the far back of the room, the biggest one of the tables were occupied by four nicely dressed men and a beautiful older woman, all talking and laughing, and waiting for you.

The anxiety bubbling in your chest and stomach intensified by ten once they noticed you, but you quickly pushed it down and put on a bright smile when one of his brothers snorted and spoke out.

“Well, would you look at that! Finn wasn’t lying when he said he’d gone and gotten himself a girlfriend.”

The woman who was sitting closest to him wasted no time in cuffing him upside the head, giving him a disapproving glare. “Quite down, John.” She scolded. “You’ll scare her away before she’s even sat down.”

John rubbed the back of his head and quieted down, and you smiled at them as you finally reached the table. “That’s alright.” You assured her. “It’s so nice to meet all of you. Finn’s told me a lot about you.”

You mentally cringed at how incredibly pathetic you sounded. Sure, you were desperate to make a good first impression, but Lord Almighty, couldn’t you have hidden it a bit better?

But you weren’t lying, of course. Finn talked about them a whole lot, and you knew how much he looked up to each and every one of them, which to you, made it an honor to even be in their presence.

Another one of his brothers leaned forward in his chair at that, reaching out to put out his cigarette in the ashtray resting on the mahogany table.

“Is that right?” He asked, the corners of his lips tugging slightly and his eyebrow raising. “All good things, I hope?”

Your smile grew nervous. “Well, that depends where you draw the line between good and bad.”

The woman smiled a smug smile where she sat, the apples of her cheeks full and pink. “I like her.” She drawled, before tapping the chair beside her. “Come, sit down.”

Finn wasted no time in letting go of your waist to pull the chair out for you. You removed your gloves while you sat down, and looked up at him and gave him a quiet ‘thank you’. He smiled at you, sitting down in the chair between you and his brother.

Said brother leaned forward on the table, clasping his hands in front of you and smiling a mysterious smile, looking at you as if he was trying to solve you. “So, (Y/N), was it?” He asked, and you nodded.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“I’m Tommy.” He introduced himself, continuing around the table. “This is Arthur, Michael, John and-”

“Polly Gray.” The woman beside you interrupted, still smiling. “It’s nice to see that Finn is familiarizing himself with some good people for a change.”

You were shocked by her words. Finn had told you that she was the one most protective over him and that she would be the hardest to impress, but you already seemed to have her blessing, which you hadn’t expected at all.

Pushing the shock back down, you reached your hand out and grabbed the one she had stretched out for you to take, shaking it slightly. “Well, the pleasure is all mine.”

You dropped your hand back down into your lap, greeting John, Arthur, and Michael with a small ‘nice to meet you’ each, as well, as Polly spoke again.

“Did you grow up in Small Heath?” She asked, to which you shook your head.

“I grew up in Manchester.” You told her softly. “I moved to Birmingham three years ago with my family to help out around my grandfather’s farm after my grandmother’s passing. We lived there until last year when he passed away and we found our way to Small Heath.”

“Sorry to hear about your grandparents.” Arthur, who had been quiet up until then, offered his condolences.

You offered him a smile in return, nodding your head. “Thank you.”

“Are your parents still with you?” John asked next, taking a drag of the cigar hanging loosely between his fingers.

“Yes.” You confirmed.

“My mum works as a baker just down the street, my older brother works down by the cut and my dad stays at home taking care of my younger siblings.” You told them, turning a tad sadder. “He was a soldier in the war and injured his knee, so he can’t really do any heavy labor anymore.”

At the mention of your dad having fought in the war, their attention was instantly piqued, all of them leaning forward in interest while Polly wondered out loud. “A soldier? Tommy, Arthur and John fought in the war, as well.”

“Yes, Finn told me.” You smiled, giving them each a shy look. “Thank you for your service. The world will forever owe you.”

And after that, they were all sold. Any girl who could truly understand and comprehend the sacrifice and hardship of a soldier, and who had seen it with her own eyes, too, was a keeper for sure and without a doubt in their minds someone worthy of their brother.

They’d had doubts before you had arrived, but now they had none. They could see the love behind your eyes and the connection between the two of you, even though you had yet to see it yourselves.

You stayed at the Garrison for about an hour, the Shelbys all asking you questions about your personal life, Finn sitting quietly at your side most of the time, really only pitching in whenever John or Arthur would make fun of him for something.

You could hear your parents’ voices screaming at you in your head not to expose yourself to the Peaky Blinders like you were doing through the entire time, but you had known already before coming there that none of them were as much of a monster as they wanted people to believe.

By the time you had said goodbye and you and Finn were leaving again, you had pretty much spilled your entire life story to them and gotten to hear stories from their childhood in return.

Like he had done when you first arrived, Finn had pulled your chair out for you when you were going to leave, and also helped you back into your coat that you had relieved yourself of throughout the conversation, before putting his arm around your waist and leading you back outside.

The sun had started setting, and if you were to have a guess, you were only half an hour away from dark despite the clock barely being four in the afternoon.

Once you had come far enough away from the Garrison that they wouldn’t be able to see you anymore, he let go of your waist and tucked his hands into his pockets, and you walked in silence all the way to the canal where you usually parted ways.

You came to a stop at the same spot you had met for the first time and turned to each other.

“Thank you.” Finn was the first one to break the silence, and you wasted no time in nodding your head.

“Of course.” You answered, shrugging with a small smile playing at your lips. “It wasn’t so bad. I think it went well.”

“It did.” He was quick to agree. “They liked you. I could tell. Aunt Pol especially.”

You blushed, taking a brief glance down at your shoes before turning back up to look at him again. “I really liked them, too.”

He turned hesitant then, sounding as if he was about to say something but cutting himself short several times before finally speaking in a quiet, sad tone. “They’ll want to meet you again.”

You understood then why he got so hesitant but managed to put on a teasing smile and lighten the situation up a bit, asking with a raised eyebrow. “Are you planning on keeping me as your fake girlfriend for a long time?”

Your words made him flustered, but he covered it up with a shrug, and the words he spoke next were more shocking than when he had asked you to meet his family.

“You could be my real girlfriend.” He spoke quietly, shrugging again and kicking at a pebble with his foot, looking down. “You know, if you wanted.”

You stared at him, feeling your neck getting hot. “Are you asking me to be your real girlfriend?” You questioned, and you couldn’t help a light chuckle from leaving your lips. “You couldn’t just have done that in the first place? Instead of asking me to be your pretend one?”

Your harmless teasing only managed to make him even more flustered, his voice growing low and discouraged. “I didn’t think someone like you would want someone like me.” He said, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Someone like me?”

“Yeah.” He agreed, looking up at you through his lashes. “Strong, beautiful and brave.”

The triple compliment caused your heart to thud in your chest, but at the same time, they made you sad. “Are you’re saying you’re weak, ugly and cowardly?” You questioned slowly and only got silence in return.

“Because you’re not.” You shook your head. “I don’t think so, at least. I know your brothers give you shit for being too soft but that’s what I like about you.”

You frowned slightly, but your face quickly relaxed again when a smile grew on his lips. He stopped kicking the stones with his toe and took a step closer to you, bringing his hands out of his pockets.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed out, and although you were shocked by the sudden question, you wasted no time in grabbing his face in your hands and pulling him down, gently pressing your lips to his.

Your entire stomach fluttered at the sensation, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips. You stood on your tippy-toes to reach him, and his hands instinctively grabbed a hold of your waist, only adding to the tingles running through your body.

You broke apart some seconds later but remained in the position you were in, foreheads pressed together.

“You really are amazing…” He uttered as he looked down at you, gazing upon your face with pure wonder in his eyes.

The intensity of his stare caused your blush to intensify even more and his words caused you to giggle. You tilted your chin up to connect your lips in another, shorter kiss, before pulling away and taking a step away from him.

“I should get going.” You said, shoving your hands back into the pockets of your coat and balancing on the balls of your feet with a permanent smile playing at your lips. “My parents are expecting me for dinner.”

Finn broke out of his trance-like state at your words and nodded his head. “Oh, of course.” He said quickly, before turning a bit more hesitant again. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

You could only grin at him. “Of course. You’ll never get rid of me now, Shelby.” You told him with a teasing voice while beginning to take a few slow steps backward, giving him one last look before turning away and heading home, the smile not leaving your lips the entire evening.

#finn shelby #finn shelby imagine #finn shelby x reader #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders headcannon #john shelby #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #polly gray #michael gray #ada shelby #Ada Thorne

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collectsfallenstars · 5 years ago

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Gravity: A Summary of the Development of Jeong TaeEul’s Feelings for Lee Gon in “The King: Eternal Monarch (Part 3 of 3)

EPISODE 7

Back in her world, Jeong Tae-eul plunges into another murder case while still working on her last one. Days, possibly weeks pass without any word from Lee Gon. This is a long distance relationship taken to the extreme, without the comforts of technology to ease the longing. Thankfully, she is kept busy by her work. However, during a quiet night at the precinct while filling out a form, she remembers their first meeting. She smiles and pulls out his old file. It gives her a thrill to see “Name: Unknown, Date of Birth: Unknown, Address: Unkown, Contact: Unknown” because now, she knows all the answer to them. She even tries to fill it out using his name, Lee Gon. She is affirming his existence, and it is now precious to her. This is her missing him.

And then she deletes his file. This is her going from soft and then back to her hard exterior. And Kim Goeun is absolutely wonderful here with the camera up close to her face, catching the minute her soft eyes turn sad, and then hard while she grits her teeth ever so lightly before pressing her lips in a tight line. Jeong Tae-eul is all in in this relationship yes, but she’s still a pragmatist and hasn’t forgotten that they belong to different worlds. And she is bracing herself for the tragedy she senses is just around the corner.

When he returns to her, she realizes how intense her feelings have become after their separation.

“HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HAVE YOU BEEN WAITING FOR ME?”

She smiles at him when he asks how she’s been. The moment Lee Gon asks her if she waited for him, she gives him a different smile, a sadder one. It was probably the exact moment when she realized she had been waiting for him. And waiting for him meant she had been missing him all this time. She probably never had time to think about it because she had been so busy with murder investigations in her world, and trying to solve the mystery of the unexplainable recordings she suspected was from his world. And when she did have time to think of him, like that time in the precinct with his file, she would only allow herself a few moment of happiness, and them push them down.

So this is what it has come down to. I hear a lot of people saying she went from hating him to suddenly running into his arms. That isn’t the case as you can see. All the development happened beneath the surface, behind the words that they were saying to each other.

After their reunion, they go on their fantasy everyday, normal life of a couple. The have dinner, they have couple phones, they hold hands, they walk with his arm around her, she winds a teddy bear/stuffed lion for him in a shooting gallery – essentially, a date like normal couples do. This is them stealing moments in time.

As Lee Gon says on that fake phone call,

“I ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY THIS WITH YOU. CALL YOU ON THE PHONE. ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR DAY. TELL YOU I MISSED YOU.”

This is them trying to cram in whatever happiness and sweetness they can to make whatever fate has in store for them a little more bearable.

Keep in mind that although this was Jeong Tae-eul showing her softer side, she was still very much like herself. She didn’t turn into a mindless, giggly little doll. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to show it. She got them the couple phones. They went on a date that she thought of. She won the stuffed animal. She was the one who promised him the moon and stars if he asked them. This is not typical k-drama female lead and it is very exciting to have an alternative image of femininity. It’s a good thing Lee Gon’s ego is as big as it is, otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to handle someone like Tae-eul.

But in true Jeong Tae-eul fashion, she moves from cool/sweet soft girlfriend to business-like detective. She tells him she had been waiting for him as herself, but half of it she waited as her detective self. They go back to her house and exchange information on their respective cases. And he shares his theory that his power hungry uncle, Lee Lim, has been hiding in her world and building an army. She confirms that a recording from one of her dead bodies is from his world. They agree to cooperate with each other for the sake of both their cases. Now, when Lee Gon notes that this investigation will take her to even more dangerous ground now that they know it involves his world as well and Tae-eul replies,

“THIS WAS MY CASE BEFORE I EVEN MET YOU,” it does three things.

One, it reinforces the idea of fate. Their first meeting at Gwanghwamun Square was not where they first began. Things have been going on in both their lives that wound up putting them in each others’ paths long before they even met. As I said in a previous video of mine, that short meeting on the last 6 minutes of the first episode was deliberately put in last to show how the events of both their worlds have resulted in their fated meeting that night. Everything that happened to them had to happen so that they would meet each other. And it’s the same for Tae-eul with all the cases she had been getting before even meeting Lee Gon.

Second, and makes her realize that her murder investigation and his investigation into the treachery and treason of his uncle are inevitably tied to each other, the way she and Lee Gon are tied to each other. They are each others’ answers to the mysteries they’re trying to solve. As Lee Gon said before, there must be a simple and beautiful formula for how she was involved in saving his life but he is sure that she’s the answer he has been looking for. In the same manner, she could never solve the murders that have been falling into her lap without him and his world. He is also the answer to all the mysteries she is trying to solve.

Which brings us to the third point. Her murder investigation and the evil plot his treasonous uncle are a mirror of their relationship. And this realization plays an important part on why she told him she loved him in the very next episode. When Tae-eul spoke of the dead bodies in her world coming from his world,

“THE TWO WORLDS SHOULDN’T GET MIXED UP LIKE THIS. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO STAY ON THEIR RESPECTIVE PATHS. BUT, THE TWO WORLDS ARE ALREADY COLLIDING AND I’VE DISCOVERED IT. SO WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? I DECIDED TO INVESTIGATE. I’M A POLICE OFFICER OF THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA.”

she might as well have been talking about the two of them. This is very much a reflection of what she thinks about their relationship. It shouldn’t be happening. But it did. Like all the cross-world murders falling on her lap that she has to solve. In the same manner that she can’t ignore them because it’s her job to solve them, she also can’t ignore this thing she has with Lee Gon. Call it fate, destiny, gravity. But there it is. She’s a detective, she will solve murders, no matter how dangerous they become. She is Jeong Tae-eul and she will love Lee Gon, because she is who she is. She is someone who would choose to love him, no matter how difficult things could get. But then, she ends the statement with,

“I AM A POLICE OFFICER OF THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA.”

This is the equivalent of her seeing Lee Gon in his navy uniform with his imperial robes behind him. She is reminding him that she is still planted firmly in her world, with her own responsibilities. They may not be as big as his, but they’re just as important. She can’t just leave everything and go live with him in his world.

As they enter into a new phase in their relationship, they are now faced with this conflict. Neither of them can just up and leave their world. So they made rules for each other, 2 from Lee Gon, and 17 and pending for Jeong Tae-eul, as a way to bargain with the universe. They’re trying to right the wrongs that have happened prior to them meeting. The only thing they’re asking is that the universe would let them them be together, for now.

The very fact that Lee Gon had only 2 rules and they were what they were is significant, and kind of true to their character. His two rules mean that his solution to their situation is to continue going back and forth between the two worlds. It would be this decision that will be challenged much later I suppose, when the gateway to both dimensions would eventually crack. But as for now, he has decided to split his world into two, a world of responsibility in the Kingdom of Corea, and the world where his only dream and desire resides, Republic of Korea where Jeong Tae-eul is.

Jeong Tae-eul plays it loose by beginning with 5 rules and a pending 13 more, making it up as she goes along. And that’s essentially how she has always been since the beginning of the series. She starts with what she can confirm, what she can believe, and then change by adding or taking from it with every new information she gets as she goes along, just as what she did with Lee Gon. Her route to a decision is circuitous, while Lee Gon’s is a straight line.

At this point, they’ve already solidified their relationship AND their plans to investigate murders and treason. And neither of them have told each other that they love each other. Which bring us to the next episode.

EPISODE 8

They begin to share less screen time here as the reality of their two worlds and Lee Lim’s plans begin catching up to them. More of Lee Lim’s plot is revealed. Jeong Tae-eul slowly begins to unravel their cases. There is no time to cross worlds to go on dates. And I suppose this is one of the major complaints of people – that they don’t spend enough time with each other. At least long enough to give us heart fluttering moments.

Well, the thing is, two parallel worlds are about to collide into each other, there’s a barrier between worlds that freezes time on both sides in the number or seconds of frozen time keep rising, and in the meantime, people are disappearing and getting murdered. We have here two characters who aren’t free to go on dates and flirt whenever they want. You know, like actual adults with real world responsibilities.

But they have done the essentials of a relationship without even doing much of that. They’ve learned each other’s way of thinking and haven’t tried to change each other. They’ve learned how to empathize with each other, which wasn’t that hard considering they’re both emotionally strong people. They’ve gotten to know each other. She knows of his traumatic past that has shaped the kind of king he is now. He knows of her girlhood dreams that have shaped the kind of detective she is now.

They’ve opened their eyes and assessed their impossible situation. They reacted differently, talked it out, and arrived at the conclusion that decisions about the two of them should be made together. They were able to do all that without going on “normal” dates.

She acknowledges how they have done everything in reverse, skipping over some parts and getting right to the nitty-gritty of a relationship that challenges the rules of the universe without even saying things to each other. That’s why she’s now backtracking, and trying to do things properly.

“IN THE BEGINNING, YOU ASK ABOUT EVERYTHING. WE JUST SKIPPED TOO MANY THINGS.”

The only thing left to do, really, is to make it official. To say the words. And even that feels anti-climactic, knowing that everything she has shown him surely let him know how she feels already. And even if he hadn’t literally said the words I love you to her, his entire existence and crossing over to her world was an entire love letter to her. So she knew it was her who had to say it first, just to be as clear, as he always had been with her.

And ultimately, this is what attracts me to her as a viewer. She’s a strong-willed, independent, no nonsense woman. And she’s the same, even in matters of love. She doesn’t suddenly turn into a blushing 13 year old who doesn’t know what to with her feelings. She had doubts about Lee Gon even if something was brewing between them. When the doubts were are dispelled, she dealt with how she felt with him. And when she understood that she loved him, whether by fate or her own decision, she told him. There was no teenage angst of wondering who should say it first, no annoying ancient mindfucks of men should always do the chasing. True to her form and character, Jeong Tae-eul felt it, so then she had to say it. It was that simple. Their situation was complicated enough. There was no need to

So she goes to see him before a stake out on a beautiful sunlit afternoon. There’s nothing more poignant than verbalizing a hopeless love with a slowly setting sun in the background.

She begins it with a string of questions of “What if”? It is her way of questioning the role of human choices when fate is at play. Lee Gon insists that no matter what she would have done, he would still have fallen in love with her. It was his fate to love her. It mirrors what she’s thinking in the voice over that would come next.

She had tried to deny the existence of his world, his feelings for her, and his own very existence. They had all turned out to be true and she had found herself unexplainably drawn into his life. And she couldn’t pull away, even if she had tried. So she had arrived at the same conclusion as well. It was also her fate to love him.

“IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO REALIZE THIS. WHEN IT’S FATE, THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES. YOUR FATE IS DETERMINED BY THE CHOICES YOU MAKE, BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOUR FATE CHOOSES YOU.”

And the thing is, she has never lost track of how dire their circumstances are. She’s fallen in love with her eyes wide open. That’s why, as she walked back to her car, her internal monologue ran,

“THINGS THAT ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN ARE TAKING PLACE EVEN AT THIS MOMENT. I WAS STRUCK WITH A SAD PREMONITION THAT THIS WILL BE SHORT-LIVED, BUT I DECIDED TO LOVE MY FATE THAT CHOSE ME.”

This gut feeling that she has about their love being short-lived didn’t come out of nowhere. Once the murders and treason are solved, they would have to go back to their own lives and worlds, if they don’t die while trying to solve them. At this point in time, she knows she won’t leave her world, and he won’t leave his. She knows heartbreak is waiting for her. And the audience knows too, that if one of them do decide to give up their world, it will create ripples in both timelines, which will no doubt affect them. At every turn, there is heartbreak waiting for them.

That’s why she told him she loved him. She knows every moment they spend could be their last and what was the point of feeling all that love, if she wasn’t going to say it out loud? So, she said it. In the most unromantic tone possible.

“I LOVE YOU.”

And then, Paul Kim’s “Dream” swells in the background. The first two lines say it all, “You are my dream. You are my love.” Because for the longest time, she was all he ever dreamed about. And here she was, finally, telling him and showing him that in loving him, she was surrendering to her fate. But in choosing to surrender to it, she also makes it clear, that it was also a decision on her part.

It took 8 episodes to hand him this gift in small, measly little parts. Theirs was never going to be a love with murder in the background to prevent people from being saturated with sweetness. Theirs was a love that had to bloom in the dark. Their love had to find little spaces in between murders, parallel worlds, and evil plots. The long wait between encounters gives them a sense of urgency, allowing them to dispose of games people play in love and just simply be loving towards each while dead bodies pile up and gateways to other worlds collapse around them. It was an optimal situation for two people who speak plainly, who say what they want to say and mean it. No words are wasted between the two them. Because if their fate is to steal moments in time for them to be together, then there’s really no point

in playing games, pretending to be coy, giving chase, and other expected k-drama behavior between couples. It was also never a journey about discovering how they fell in love with each other and realizing that they were in love. It’s going to be about finding that love and what they’re going to do with it, when murder, treason, an ambitious Prime Minister, powerful magical flutes, parallel worlds, and time challenge that love.

That’s why the love confession happens early on in the middle of the series. The next 8 episodes would then be used to hammer at that love, testing how far it can go and how much it can withstand.

Hopefully, this helps those who are still confused as to how Jeong TaeEul’s character develops romantic feelings for Lee Gon and why she had to verbalize them on the 8th episode.

#the king eternal monarch #jeongtaeeul #jeong tae eul #leegon #lee gon #kimgoeun #kim go eun #leeminho #lee min ho #kim eun sook #kdrama

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