#I’m fucking jumping up and down excited for a new dnd campaign I’m going to be in and my character’s a fortune teller

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

would … would you guys be interested if I did some tarot readings for you guys?

[jellyfishdooter]

Okay so, back when I asked for asks for my Ego DnD AU, @lace-maze sent a really good ask a while back asking about why each of the egos chose the characters they did and their playing styles- and I can’t for the LIFE of me find the original anywhere on my blog. ;3;

But! I finished it and I bet it reads horribly but whatever who cares I’m tired- enjoy!

So to FINALLY answer your question, the way I went about choosing what each of the egos would play more or less boiled down to a combo of trying to pick what I think THEY would want to play, and what I figured they would be in the Dungeons and Dragons universe. (wink wonk)

Marvin- Dragonborn Sorcerer

One of the top veterans of the game, he likes to play something with more of a challenge and a lot more mechanics. And since he’s a magician it’s definitely has to deal with magic of some kind (I mean c’mon, he’s already got the aesthetic wardrobe irl for it so why not?). So he’s currently playing a Sorcerer- a magic caster who has the power naturally within him (which ties in his Race for it’s from his draconic bloodline:)

He could have easily chosen his race to be a Tabaxi (a human-cat like hybrid), but he already got enough shit of being the “furry” of the group as it was so instead he decided to go for a Dragonborn. In the game there are different types of Dragonborn, so specifically he’s Brass- which both deals fire damage breath, and is also resistant to fire.

Being one of the older players, his play style depends on the day. For the most part he is the cool, collected member of the party who doesn’t rush in and thinks things through... Until it’s later in the evening with a few drink in ‘em and then they just say, “Yeah, this might as well happen.” Before taking another shot and round-housing someone poor guy’s ass for mocking his scaly features.

Jackie- Half-Orc Fighter

Always wanting to be the hero, Jackie wants to fight and protect his fellow party members. He only has a few sessions under his belt, but he’s confident in saying that he's comfortable with playing more tanky characters and dealing heavy damage.

Jackie doesn’t have a lot of reasoning for his Race other than Orcs Are Cool so he just rolls with that.

As for his Class he likes having a bunch of different fighting styles to choose from while in combat so he can pick and choose which would work best for the situation (they also get more of a range in picking which Armor Class they want-).

His play style is Protect the Party, but also Rush In Head First Into Danger. He’s always in the front lines of a fight to tank the most damage and provide cover for the more squishy characters. It can get quite frustrating for the healer at times when he runs battleaxe-first into battle, leaving his head behind.

Speaking of healers-

Henrik- High Elf Alchemist

A lot like Anti, Henrik found the idea of playing to be quite silly. But once he got into it, the doctor found it quite enjoyable to get into a fantasy character and forget about the real world for a couple of hours. But wanting to retain some kind of dignity, he decided to play as a High Elf. He was drawn to their grace, wonderlust for adventure, and near perfectionism. To say the least, it's easy for him to slip into character.

Strictly speaking, Alchemist is not the the 5E DnD Handbook, but Jack allowed it and made some homebrew additions to the character so their party would actually have a fucking healer. So in addition to the damage-dealing bombs Henrik’s character uses, he also has a special healing bomb he can yeet at the other players when needed.

Henrik’s play style is serious, but curious. He’s always wanting to explore the world Jack created for them and peacefully interact with the NPCs, enjoying events that unfold naturally. However when it’s time for a proper fight he does not beat around the bush, staying in the back for more long-ranged attacks rather than right on the front lines.

Chase- Human Ranger

The recently-single father needed an outlet other than drinking to try and cope with the loss of his family. So like any good friend, Jack offered Chase a spot in his campaign that he was putting together! He wasn’t too sure at first, Chase said that the game seemed really complex and hard to get into. But Jack waves it off and told his friend, “You honestly have to fully jump into it if you’re gonna get anywhere. There’s not really a small way to start. It’s pretty much all or nothing. But trust me, it’s gonna be great!” And ever since his first session, Chase always looked forward to next week’s game.

Being one of the newer players, Chase doesn’t really play anything too crazy, so he sticks to his guns and runs a Human pc. And he may or may not have based the character on his old life to some degree. Giving himself a stable home, a fulfilling job, and a big loving family and at least 3 dogs. Ya’know, real heavy fantasy stuff.

Jack offered him the newer class/ homebrew of a Gunslinger, but he politely declined ‘cause he didn’t want to have to deal with new rules. So he decided to go with a Ranger for his class, figuring it would make for a cool character to play.

Chase’s play style is pretty average (no pun intended), and not all that spectacular. He gets a few good one-liners in here and there, but for the most part he plays passively. Fights when there’s a fight, and interacts almost only when others interact with him directly. (He’s been trying to get better at being more engaging, but he tends to zone out.)

Jameson- Halfling Bard

This session being JJ’s (and Robbie’s) first ever game, JJ pleasantly surprised Jack when he decided to be a Bard. When asked why, the silent man replied simply, “There’s nothing in the rules saying bards HAVE to sing. At the core of them, they are performers.” Jack beams and asks what’s their instrument of choice then? Jameson smiles and shows him this video, saying he thinks it would be interesting to have this as his musical item. (Also gotta love that good The Bard Seduces Everything trope. He’s keeping that in his back pocket for the right moment.)

As for being a Halfling, Jameson figured it would be fun to play a smaller character. And nobody ever suspects the small man to pack such a whaloop. But really, his love for the hobbits in the Tolkin books had captured his heart and really wanted to try and emulate that in the game! Maybe leaning more towards being a little prankster, but still at the core- in short- Soft Cottage Aesthetic™

Jameson’s play style is bouncy and go-gettem. He’s eager to explore the world and have fun with the NPCs. In battles he’s more comedic relief in the back inspiring the other players (and intimidating enemies by aggressively cranking his music box rapidly). And AT LEAST ONCE he has had Jackie’s character YEET his at the enemy to get the final blow to slay the beast. That was a fun session.

Anti- Changeling Rouge 

Do I really gotta explain this one? 

Naturally Anti always tries to play the edgiest characters he can. Giving them dark, moody personalities but with a slight crazed tick. (Chase naturally calls hypocrisy when Anti says his character is a self-insert to the game.)

I’m almost out of steam here so in short-

Anti loves the idea of having puppets to mess around with irl- so in the game he can somewhat do the same- by changing his figure/ features to mimic those of somebody to manipulate another. He doesn’t care much for the society around him and does his own thing, but can easily blend in and slip into other’s traditions if he needs to. His character has a tendency to pick fights pretending to be someone else before ducking out and watch the fight take place with a smirk on his hidden features. None of the party has ever seen his real face/ form, always changing it subtly so every time someone tries to take a second look something seems different or off.

Rouge: Quick and Stabby. Like the bitch himself.

Robbie- Undead Druid

Jack had to make a special homebrew character for Robbie ‘cause he was set on being an Undead. Apparently Robbie and Marvin talked about character ideas before hand and Robbie got a little overwhelmed with all the options that they had, so Marv suggested something Rob could relate to easier. So after an afternoon of crafting a special stat sheet, Jack allowed their favorite zombie ego to play.. Well, a zombie. (I’m sure someone else has made something similar out there but I might try and make a sheet later.. That could be fun lmao)

As for Druid, I like to see Robbie as being a little more connected to nature than the rest of the egos. Since he.. Yaknow, crawled out of the dirt at one point. (Side story- before the others found him in an old cemetery, he liked to just hang out around the area that was slowly being reclaimed by nature and liked watched the birds and animals). So he was pretty drawn to choosing this class. It’s a little complicated at points, but that’s why Marvin sits between him and JJ, so he can help them out through the whole process. Robbie gets really excited when one of his spells works in combat or just having fun interacting with the NPCs by growing them some flowers to be nice. 

As a whole Robbie’s play style is pretty passive. He gets distracted pretty easily and unless Jack is waving his arms around or using miniatures/ figurines to keep a visual, the zombie will sometimes lose focus and stare off into space for a minute before coming back to the game and raising his hand for something to be repeated.

It’s one big mixing pot of different people and play styles, but at the end of the day, Jack has a lot of fun trying to bounce around and keep up with everyone’s antics and storylines. It’s hard as hell at times and it gets a little frustrating when things get out of hand, but they all try to check each other and keep things rolling. And at the end of the day, all the boys enjoy the game and what Jack has to offer and really fucking enjoy themselves. DnD is a good destresser for most of them and all around a grand fun time!

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E7 (Feb 27, 2018)

There were a few more (vague) references to the first campaign in this episode than usual, so I’ve tried to keep them non-specific/spoiler-free for folks who are still catching up.

Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: Marisha’s feeling better but now Matt’s sick (general consensus is that he’ll be feeling well enough to DM on Thursday); Vox Machina: Origins number 5 will be released on March 7; Laura and Travis will be at Emerald City Comic Con, where you can pick up a physical copy of Vox Machina: Origins number 1 at the Dark Horse booth; ECCC Critter meetups will be on Thursday March 1st at 7PM for a live watch of the show and then March 3rd from 7PM to midnight, both at the Raygun Lounge; the C2E7 podcast is available this Thursday; shout-out to the awesome mods in the community; tomorrow at 11AM Pacific, Brian will be hosting a stream with Sideshow Collectibles, unveiling a statue (tragically not of Sam’s body).

@critrolestats​ for this episode:

Beau has rolled the most natural 20s this campaign. Her total is 13: one in episode one, and then two in each subsequent session.

Khary’s opening roll was the first time a guest player’s first roll was a natural one; Kit Buss was the only guest to start out with a natural 20.

There have already been 18 references to Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law” in the campaign. 13 of them happened in this last episode.

Khary mentioned to Liam ages ago that he was about to start DMing for his daughter, which is when they started trying to get schedules to match up for his guest appearance.

Liam’s having fun getting specific with spell components rather than going for the “Apple remote” approach of using a focus to cast spells. The descriptions will mainly focus on more novel spells (he won’t still be describing Chromatic Orb in detail at level 20).

The Geek and Sundry Facebook/Instagram has the video of Khary destroying the cursed die. The pieces were stolen from Dani’s desk over the weekend. The plot thickens.

Marisha talks about how it can be fun to set yourself up for failure a bit, like with the ball bearings. Everyone decides on the next T-shirt: “Critical Role: Embrace the Failure”.

Liam has a bucket list of spells for Caleb, some of which he doesn’t want to mention yet because they’re story-related, but he does really want to get his hands on Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion.

Marisha felt a little warm and fuzzy inside knowing that Beau nearly had her own practically-goldfish moment. She was less concerned about the fall damage than what was potentially at the bottom of the pit.

Gif of the Week: ♪It’s DnD Beyoooooond!♪

The reason Caleb and Nott are together is because “they’re two pieces of garbage floating around in the world like plastic bags”. They were in a little podunk town jail; it wasn’t a major thing, but it was where they met. They both have no place to go. Caleb has “things that he sticks to, but his moral code is dicey. Survival is good, getting by is good, breathing.” Everyone’s still figuring out the relationships, but Liam has been surprised at how much Caleb cares about Nott’s safety.

Both agree that the short rest was worth it.

Beau is surprised by her own fighting ability. She’s always had some natural skill as a reckless fighter and basic training from the Cobalt Soul monks, and Marisha’s been describing her attacks that way: wild haymakers, etc.. “No one’s going to start as fucking Bruce Lee.” But now she can take those solid natural instincts and build upon them, trying to show a progression. Even Marisha was surprised when she succeeded in catching the arrow out of the air.

Liam gets asked who smelled worse: Caleb or Vax in the armor. Pre-year break, Vax smelled “weirder”.

Beau has theories about Caleb’s shut-down last episode. “Beau has Percy Syndrome: she thinks she’s the smartest person in the room right now.” “Caleb is not dying to know much about any of you fuckers.” Combination of not knowing them too well yet and wanting to keep his head down.

Fanart of the Week: Shakäste and Nott!

Another winner: Vox Machina: An Exandrian Musical! Everyone’s been listening to it on repeat. Marisha: “Matt and I cried so much.”

Beau didn’t see the rescue of Nott as risking her life to save her. “She has teenage arrogance, ‘I’m going to live forever!’” She’s driven by cockiness at this point. She knew she could close the gap, so she thought she was the one who could do it.

Had any of them thought about killing the baby manticore? Beau threw out the idea of selling the baby manticore, but she was mainly concentrating on getting in and out and not dying. Caleb thought that if they could kill everything in the room without dying themselves, they should do that.

Brian asks about the grey-morality tone of the new campaign. Marisha talks about the balance you have to strike, “almost a metagame element”, of wanting to be a team. Liam points out that character flaws introduce an element of unpredictability. Marisha notes that the same character qualities can often shift from "good” to “bad” and back, depending on the situation. Marisha: “Tonally, Vox Machina acted emotionally a lot more so far. We don’t have that yet, that connection.” Liam: “It feels like we all want to mess with the system a little more and come at it with a sideways approach, just to see what happens.” Marisha describes how they set the tone with Vox Machina earlier, and how that gives them a little leeway in the new campaign. Brian zeroes in on the notion of “the human heart in conflict with itself” being a great source of drama and excitement for a viewer. “As you guys get closer in the game, those stakes get higher.”

The Nott-Caleb relationship was a last-second decision that “has complicated the fuck out of what I’ve got going on,” but Liam’s delighted to have that complication, because that kind of thing is the heart of the game for them as actors. He points out how episode 85′s massive emotional impact was the perfect example of that kind of messiness.

What Beau doesn’t like about Molly is the same stuff that Beau doesn’t especially like about herself. Marisha suspects it’s the sort of thing that can develop into mutual respect in the long run.

Liam gets asked about Caleb’s moment at the end of the episode. Marisha: “Answer! Answer! You never answer shit!” Liam brings up how Taliesin’s talked about how Matt will take the bare-bones story they provide him and flesh it out in a surprising way. Marisha: “No one’s backstories or secrets are safe from Matt Mercer at this moment.”

Talks Machina After Dark:

Fave tracks from Vox Machina: An Exandrian Musical: “Burn”, “Animus”, “Dear Kaylie”, “It’s Quiet in Town”, “The Room Where it Happens”.

Sometimes Matt and Marisha will go over specific events in the battle where a single moment was clutch. Nott going in when she did saved Fjord from a full round of attacks at advantage. Beau saved Nott by jumping in even with the attack of opportunity, because with her 1 HP, the next full round of attacks would’ve killed her. Jester didn’t have the speed to get to Nott, so Beau saved her by getting her closer to Jester, but then Jester went down... and Fjord succeeded on his wisdom saving throw, which let him save her so she could save Nott. No matter how messy things seem in the moment, laying them out like that show how it can all work out.

Note-taking in D&D! Liam, on trying to decipher scribbles post-game: “Either slow down when you write or don’t bother.” Without the pressure of the cameras, Marisha would do things differently. In the last campaign, she had one book for specific enemies she could refer back to, but fell off on keeping it up around the time they were mainly just fighting specific dragons rather than dungeon-crawl stuff. She currently takes notes chronologically, with specific symbols/annotations to indicate names of cities, NPCs, plot points, etc. Liam: “What are all the dickbutts for?” Marisha: “That’s Laura. She keeps stealing my notebook. ...no, that’s not true.” Marisha brings up some advice she got: keep your notes concise and make them look interesting; she also does doodles now that can draw her attention while flipping through and looking for something in particular.

Theories on Shakäste? Liam: “I think he’s the wind.” Marisha: “I think he’s what we might be in 20 years if we all live.”

“What were your immediate thoughts after Nott stabbed the manticore baby?” Marisha: “The fuck?! (...) Just because it was necessary doesn’t mean it was any less brutal.” Liam: “Caleb has seen Nott do wild, unpredictable things that have a high rate of success. She is a Golden Snitch. It just kind of works out.”

[charactersaremylife]

TODAY WAS DND DAY AND MY DEAR KARA JUST HAD THE BEST GODDAMNED DAY OF HER ADVENTURING CAREER (I mean. she’s been on two adventures but still)

I STUCK THIS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I FIGURED I’D GET LONG WINDED 

and i’m putting the TL:DR up here: Kara got to pet wolves and befriend them into fighting with her and made a successful use of a Command Spell, saving a dude, and got along well with her new party members.

Ok so the first thing that was the coolest goddamned shit was we came across some wolves and with a nat20 animal handling check I was able to approach them, flubbed one check, but was able to roll again to try and pet another one of the three wolves and rolled ANOTHER 20 so I got to pet a wolf, and between that and our druid’s speak with animal spell casting we were able to befriend and free the wolves, going on to attack goblins and the like

so Kara got to pet wolves!! super great stuff ear scratches all around

the OTHER COOL THING THAT HAPPENED So first of all we came into a cavern with 7 goblins, one we didn’t know about, 6 clustered up around the fire. Our druid, a cool dragonborn lady named Nala (she’s actually lawful evil and kind of shady as hell but hasn’t actually done anything evil yet so Kara still likes her) rolled a high initiative, ran forward, and used her breath weapon dealing 7 damage and all but one of the goblins failed their constitution saves so they all died except for one (the campaign was set for 4-5 level 1 characters and there were three of us so I just kept Kara at level 3 to even things out) and the one that was left, Hanull the Barbarian bum rushed him into the fire and THEN when the goblin rolled out the wolves jumped in and attacked him so he died (Kara didn’t even get a chance to land a single hit like goddamn that fight went fast)

but THEN there was a 7th goblin we didn’t know about right up on the sort of raised area and he had a dude hostage he was holding over the edge and he was all “HOLD” trying to make them stop otherwise he’d drop the dude right and Kara was like HEY FUCK THAT SHIT and used her last spell slot to cast Command and make him approach so he just toddled on down the stairs with Sildar and walked right up to the lot of us. The wolves actually killed him too after my own attack totally wiffed (with a natural 1 but oh well I got between him and Sildar and that was what mattered because that dude was not gonna be able to take a hit) 

I’m super stoked about Kara finally getting to use Command though because like. She’s a noble and she doesn’t really use her background too much because she’s trying to stay under the radar but I like to imagine that sure, she’s not the most competent adventurer, but you know what she was raised to be? A goddamned noblewoman. Kara can have a PRESENCE ABOUT HER WHEN SHE WANTS IT SHE CAN BE HAUGHTY AND COMMANDING AND IMPRESSIVE 

most of the time she just gets really excited about petting wolves though.

the DM of my last campaign pointed out her personality shift in how excited she was about the wolves tearing out goblin throats and how it kind of makes sense, considering the people she was around for her last campaign, and I kind of love that idea narratively

on the other side of adventuring: we had a battle where no one hit anything for so many rounds it was getting RIDICULOUS everyone, including the bugbear and the goblins, kept missing 

[alwayslateornever]

strikercorbie replied to your photoset

What the flying fuck is this??

I’m assuming you read the tags, so lets start from the beginning.  This got long fast so under a read more it goes~

A coworker “E” invited me to join her husband, sister, and son on a new dnd campaign.  They’ve played dnd for years, gone through multiple campaigns, most of them with her husband “R” being the dm.  I chose a Firbolg as my first character, a giant soft boy named Fig raised by dwarven monks in a brewery.  He was scared and not born to fighting.  He was also trans, which I didn’t tell R. 

(I was going to work actual white into his outfit later, but it should be obvious his color scheme is based on the trans flag)

Right out the gate (literally less than 5 minutes into the campaign) R makes a quip about how one of the female player characters was extremely hot and that the two men of the part (Fig and a dwarven cleric) are showing obvious interest.  in their pants.  

(please imagine the literal pain I caused myself trying NOT to eyeroll in front of R at this)

I didn’t follow through with this idea of his, and tried to vaguely insinuate that Fig wasn’t attracted to anyone.  Like me, who is ace.  R obviously wasn’t happy about me not continuing his “funny” joke, but the subject was dropped. The same sort of joke came up again with the main antagonist in our story, a YOUNG, UNDERAGE GIRL.  Again I didn’t take the bait, and thankfully after that he stopped trying that sort of “joke”.

However this campaign was broken into chapters, and R wanted to play a character in the next chapter and handed dming off to his son, J.  

We only played a single session with J dming, because he never planned ahead, and R spent the whole time belittling him. (this wasn’t new, every session R was doing this to his own son)

Because that campaign essentially fell through, and with the release of the Ravnica expansion, R began a new campaign, and @gettinziggywithit​ was invited to join in place of my coworkers sister. (who had stopped coming because of bs reasons all her own, and so R just killed off her character.  No one was sad about this)

R has a... passion? for writing up characters, so he wrote up a dwarven bard for Katie, which she decided to give an apprehension engine instrument.  (which is such a fun idea and played well with her characters personality, but I think R forgot this or just decided to veto it outright) (this isn’t important to post but it was important to me)

In this I made a female human rogue (as R had made a small comment prior in direct relation to the “joke” from before about how I played a male character) named Nora, who was basically Dexter (from same named show).  E also made a female character (ranger gnome? I cant remember), and their son J was to join later.  

Our first session, we are trying to leave this bog area, and we get ambushed by...Sucker Eels!  A creature of R’s own creation!

What do sucker eels do you ask?  They jump into your mouth, lock themselves in, and proceed to lay tons of eggs inside you that unless you get to a healer in time, will devour you from within.  That is if you don’t suffocate during the process, as trying to dislodge them make them burrow DEEPER.

Both Katie and my characters fucking deep throat some eels, all to the amusement of R.  Our characters get healed up, but we only do 2 sessions.

At the same time of these sessions, R starts talking to a coworker about doing a game with them as well, which this coworkers wife would DM as R wanted to actually play for once.  So, I write up a new character, a dwarven female rogue named Ira Octava.  Who is my Dragon Age: Inquisition character.  Who was based on my fantroll.

(don’t talk to me about ASLOD feels I will ALWAYS have ASLOD feels dude)

I headcanon that dwarven women also grow beards, Ira just likes to shave.  Also she’s 19.  Also she’s trans.  Still didn’t tell anyone.

This campaign started out well enough, but it quickly devolved as R kept redirecting the focus.  Also I should note, he makes pretty well balanced and fun characters for others, but his own characters are min/maxed to hell.  which really isn’t fun to play against.  

This campaign also only lasted 2 sessions.  Not because of R, but because we had to drive 2 HOURS (because R and E refuse to use toll roads, which would have made the trip 45 minutes) to the coworkers apartment, where a 5 year old treated us like a jungle gym, stole our dice, and tried to get into every bag/purse we’d brought.  Which the parents really didn’t give a crap about.

NOW

R suggested, because of the drive and the time restrictions, that we should try a session over discord.  He would gm this one, and we’d be moving away from dnd and working with the mutant and masterminds set up.  Superheroes and the like kind of game.  Right off the bat I new I wanted to play a character I already had.  Dude McMarrs.

Dude’s story came to me in horror packed dream filled with space crafts, aliens, body horror, death and humor.  Also you know, Venom was still fresh in my mind, and I literally already had a symbiote character so it was an easy choice.

The thing is, Dude is also trans male.  That was part of the dream, and I refused to remove this from his character.  Again, I wasn’t going to tell anyone in the game, as I knew it would be made into “a thing” somehow, which I hate.

Except, I was already getting tired of R’s bs attitude, humor, and opinions.  So when on the one trip we made to go talk about the game and characters in person, he makes the remark “You don’t play male characters well”, I make the dumbest statement alive.  I say “well he’s trans.”  like that’s different somehow.  Not my best moment, but I was getting frustrated.  I felt dread immediately.

R is questioning it at first, kind of like “why?”, and then tries to science against it with “no trans individuals in space because of taking hormones”, and I actually make a stand and shut him down.  We’re doing a superhero setting, which is a fantasy world, WITH SPECIFICALLY HIGHER ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES AND MEDICINE, and you’re going to try and be “realistic” about a trans dude in space?  I didn’t back down, and it payed off.  I actually win, I get to have this character be themselves openly instead of once again hiding it.  

This happened 2 months ago, and I kept making it a point to be firm about Dude being trans.  And R actually seemed to be okay with it.  I was filled with confidence about this game, and being relaxed with a character I knew.  I was starting to think maybe R just had a crap sense of humor, but was actually a decent human being.

Now, I don’t know.

The post came from an email he sent to everyone, basically asking for background info and basic character info.  WHICH HE HAS ALREADY FROM ME.  On that info, Dude is labeled male, because he is male. He’s a trans man, he is male.  period.  

But the thing is, he could have just left it at “are you a boy or a girl?” and there would be no hurt.  That’s standard questionnaire stuff and it doesn’t bother me.   Instead, he typed out the additional “(there is no third answer)”.  That was unnecessary.  That was intentional. 

And ya, I may be taking this overboard for a character, but this statement also invalidates my identity. I’m agender.  I’m still working through my own social concepts of gender and gender roles, but everyday I accept who I am and that I am agender.  So seeing this, honestly hurt.   Does R know I’m agender? No. and I had no intentions of telling him before this.  Now I just really don’t want to be a part of this group.  Even though I was excited for this game.  But whatever, it’ll either never even start as other people are dragging their feet, or it will be abandoned pretty quick.

END OF RANT BONUS: Your standard instagram bathroom mirror photo of Dude before the shuttle mission.

A guy happy and comfortable in his own body.  Thanks for reading.

[2towels]

Roll Initiative [V:LD]

A Voltron: Legendary Defender fic, Klance.

Theme: DnD AU, KlanceWeek2017

Pairings Klance (Keith/Lance)

Rating: Rated E for Everyone, swear warning

Words Total: 2520

Tags: mutual pining, living vicariously through dungeons and dragons characters, dungeons and dragons dating lmao, lots of dialogue, coran’s a snack mom, everyone’s there, even matt!!

Summary:

“Holy crow,” Lance shot up, excitement written in the way his face lit up, “Are you going to propose to me, Keith?”

—

The gang plays DnD. Klance Week 2017 Day 1: Free Will vs Fate

Alternate Title: Shut up and ask him out roll the dice

Read on AO3 (please)

Tired eyes stared down all around the table. Pidge pushed her glasses up her face, past her bangs to rest on her head, and gave a long, suffering sigh. From beside her, she could see Matt look up and glance her way, having heard her pull a signature Shiro sound, but she couldn’t help it. Not anymore.

Lance, as usual, was the first to verbalize his complaints. “Allura,” He whined, shifting in his seat so he could lean forward, “You always make your campaigns so long . Can we just go to a tavern or something? We’re still recovering from the giant nest!”

Across the table, Keith nodded in silent and rare agreement, his eyes flicking around as he scanned his papers.

Allura clucked. “I’m afraid not. We’ve got at least two more hours tonight, so stop complaining and get yourselves in order.”

“You’re just trying to make your campaign last the longest because Shiro has the record!” Lance accused. Their dungeon master bristled, but didn’t comment or correct him.

“Alright.” Shiro sighed, “I’m sure, on appearances alone, the group of bandits…you’re calling them Galra still, right?” At Allura’s nod, he continued, “The Galra have no interest in trying anything with us. I think we should carry on.”

“No.” Keith grunted, “Red’s gonna be suspicious.”

“You mean you’re suspicious?” Lance snorted, ducking down as Keith throw a chip at him.

“I told you it’s not a self-insert.” The other boy growled.

Hunk cut in, “I agree with Keith.” and swirled his mug of hot chocolate contemplatively.

“With Red !” Keith threw his hands up, leaning back in his chair.

He continued on, though Hunk did have the decency to look sheepish, “Right. Saffron would agree with Red. Kinda. He’d be nervous, but only a little suspicious.”

“Alright then. So, Red’s awareness would give an advantage, of course, but Saffron gets nothing from his general fear.” Allura dictated, shuffling papers mysteriously from behind her partition.

“As usual.” Pidge grunted, “Foxglove ignores the bandits in favor of staying focused on that strange dwarven thing she’s going to figure out soon.”

“Is it time for her to roll for that again? What did we say she had to get over?” Matt wondered aloud, glancing at Allura from his own papers. “I’m just following Nero’s lead, by the way. Shiro’s in charge, after all, Red.”

“Over a sixteen.” Allura hummed, nodding at Matt’s instruction, “and five minutes.”

“Which is bullshit because of my–”

“I did the math twice , Pidge.” Allura brought out her overly-authoritative tone, “At your request, and it is still a roll over sixteen.”

Before Pidge could even retort, acid on her tongue, Coran wandered over from the kitchen, all smiles and completely unaffected by the argument and tension brewing. “How are all you adventurers doing? Kill any goblins today? Has Azulle been kidnapped again?” He tweaked his mustache as he leaned over Allura’s side, humming a little.

Lance’s head shot up, face alight. “Coran! The gorgeous man! I’ll ignore that jab for now. Did you make any space juice?”

Hunk made a face from beside his best friend, shifting to see Coran from around the lankier boy. “More important question: how are the nachos coming?”

“Adventure’s going great, Coran!” Matt finally responded for the group, cheerful, “At Allura’s pace, we’ll be here for a few more weeks under your hosting!”

“Well,” Coran mused, moving in on the table further to observe their work up close as well, “That’s no trouble. I’m just glad you little rascals are all interested in these old antiques of mine.” He plucked up one of Allura’s hidden books (ignoring her soft “Wait, they don’t–”) and hummed more as he revealed it to browse.

“Is that the monster guide? We just left the town! To go to one less than a mile from here! This is a basic retrieval quest!” Pidge huffed, “Damn it–”

“We need to get Plaxum and Swirn back over, we do so much better with rogues like them.” Shiro commented thoughtfully.

“ Without Blumfump. Man, he’s exhausting.” Hunk rubbed his face.

Lance straightened his spine a bit. “Hey, come on, he means well. Besides, he doesn’t like to do campaigns unless he’s the DM. That’s why he and Slav only play Magic down at the Post.”

“Oh, good.” Pidge began, weirdly excited seeming, “So we can re-invite them without the other.”

“Please don’t let Slav back in your house, Allura.” Shiro whispered.

“He was very informed about potential campaign outcomes when I discussed ours with him last week at the Post, I’ll have you know,” Allura defended, “but yes, I don’t think he’s interested enough to join us again.”

“So, space juice for Lance? Anyone else?” Coran set down the book with a smile, counting as Keith, Pidge, Matt, and Allura’s hands all flew up. “The nachos will be done in just a tick or two as well.

A murmur level of cheers followed, and Allura straightened up as Coran parted, ready to set back to the quest. “Let’s see…Oh, Lance?”

“Azulle follows Red’s suspicion, but way more lax about it.” Lance said smoothly, switching papers in his hands, “Does anybody have my purple highlighter?”

Keith handed it over, ignoring their brushing hands fluidly. “Azulle should know to trust Red’s intuition from the supply raid alone, let alone the countless other quests they’ve done and he’s been right.” He mumbled, pressing his elbows into the table as he leaned forward. “He’s always good about this stuff.”

“Hold the phone.” Lance spread a hand as he idly highlighted a section of his personal notes with his other, “Back up. Azulle is well aware that Red has great intuition, but he’s a total hothead, too, adn that supply raid was only so much of a shit show because Red charged off, anyway, regardless of whether he was right or not.”

“Yeah!” Matt laughed, “I wouldn’t have died if we took things slow like Lance suggested.”

Hunk laughed along a moment, “No, dude. You would have died. You sort of always die.”

“You and Shiro have death records .” Pidge snorted.

Allura rolled a die without preamble, stilling everyone as they looked to the sound. “The bandits pass by, taking in the party, and notice Keith’s–”

“ Red’s. ”

“Red’s glare. They’re disgusted, and advance on the bold group.”

“Azulle flies to the front and tries to charm them!”

“He does not –” Keith said immediately, “Red’s glare intensifies as Azulle moves to flirt.”

Sliding down in his chair, Lance groaned, “Jealousy, thy name is Keith. My charm skill has saved us so many times!”

“Lance, roll.”

He followed suit tensely, without readjusting his seat. The dice rolled almost lazily, prolonged as the group watched. “Eight.”

Allura laughed plainly. “They notice that you smell like cow and see Red’s background glare. The charm is wasted.”

“They never like Kaltenecker.” Pidge commented, a lightness in her tone.

“I smell nachos!” Hunk sang, listening as Coran came back with drinks in hand.

Lance huffed, his foot brushing against Keith’s from being so far under the table. “At least Keith likes cow.”

“ Red .” He stressed in return, not moving his foot.

“Keith and Hunk have initiative. the Galra advance with a scoff.” Allura narrated.

“Red pushes Azulle behind him, draws his sword, and makes a strike for the leader. Rolling.”

“My hero!” Lance cooed, making prolonged eye-contact with Keith while the die bounced.

“You never said how many there were, Allura.” Matt murmured, glancing at Hunk as the boy rolled as well.

“Drat.” Allura murmured back, flipping a curtain of hair over her shoulder and beginning to tie it up as Coran set her drink before her. “There are three. Would you like to hear their names?” Her voice became almost gleeful.

Pidge laughed, flipping pages frantically. “Yes. I’ll add them to our Worst Names Ever list.”

Allura was not deterred. “Plytox, Plyrox, and Sendak. Sendak’s the leader, missing one eye, and his roll beat yours, Keith. Hunk, What is your action?”

“Uh,” He groaned a moment, giving a wary eye to the sludge concoction Lance was downing almost frantically. “Saffron lets Red rush ahead and casts a barrier on whoever Matt is right now.”

“Whoever Matt is right now thanks you.”

“Roll again?”

“Eighteen! Woo!” Lance cheered for Hunk, throwing him a high five and not noticing Keith’s close gaze while he pumped his fist.

Pidge’s phone timer went off, and she jumped. “I’m using this turn to perceive this fucking relic again. You guys can battle on your own.”

“So, Matthew’s character is protected sufficiently, Sendak laughs at Keith’s–Red’s, I know, don’t start–Red’s attack and sends him flying back into Azulle with a hard shove. No damage necessary, he’s just being a little stinker while he tries to rough you all up. He then advances on Shiro due to his natural leader appearance.” Allura explained, as she always did in these events, with a pleasantness of a ruler, completely in control of all outcomes no matter the situation.

Shiro grunted, “If I sacrifice myself this turn can I go watch whatever Coran is in the den?”

“Azulle pleasantly cradles Red as he fumbles through that fall.” Lance cooed again, still engaged in on-again, off-again eye-contact with Keith that might last too long.

Allura narrowed her eyes at their leader. “No. I’m sorry you dislike this campaign so much, Shiro, but you can complain about it with Pidge when the night is done. Sendak draws a short dagger.” Mindlessly, she pulled the new bowl of nachos Coran delivered more towards herself and Hunk, shoving a handful into her mouth.

Keith picked at his cheese-less personal bowl of chips with fake nonchalance. “Red stands and sends Azulle a meaningful smile, preparing for his opportunity again…”

“Aww. Azulle kisses Red’s cheek and moves away to draw his bow and aim for the farthest Galra from Sendak’s flanks.”

“Plytox. Roll?”

“Seventeen. Oh my god, we are on fire tonight!”

“i’m gonna swing my spear into Sendak to try and distract him from Nero, because Shiro’s participation sucks when Coran’s got a good movie on.” Matt assured, rolling his die before he was prompted. “Six. Welp. Never mind.”

“No, that’ll do.” Allura nodded, “Not much, but Sendak is affected by such a bug bite. The goon Azulle hit is without the use of a shoulder.”

“Nero is tired but draws his sword and humbly requests Wemb to move over before he dies.” Shiro sat up a little, reaching for a nacho, “Also, I’m very focused on this game, I just appreciate Coran’s outlook on other activities.”

“Is that who I am right now? I picked the name Wemb? I’ve been loosely following Yuv’s character outline this whole time.” Matt complained, squinting at his papers.

Lance threw his head back in a laugh, “You need to get a better organization system. Hunk teaches, look at how pretty his binders look.”

“I think Shiro wants to retire from DND. I bet he’s going into LARPing.” Pidge snickered, “Can I roll for Foxglove yet?”

“You may.”

“Fifteen. Fuck. One day.”

Allura didn’t even bother to look sympathetic. “You’ll have better luck soon. Let’s see…The goons each knock an arrow at Saffron, recognizing his status as a healer. Roll for avoiding those, Hunk.”

“They always underestimate my dexterity.” Hunk laughed and Allura swore quietly, also having forgotten, as Hunk’s roll was modified into well past the necessary range.

“They miss so far that everyone, your party included, is embarrassed for them.” Their dungeon master begrudgingly narrated, “Sendak, however, is not deterred. Lance, you’re fastest, go ahead.”

“I throw another arrow at cold shoulder goon.”

“Plytox.”

“Playtex?”

“Lance.”

“And my roll is a beautiful thirteen. Are you proud mom? Is mama out there somewhere realizing my DND worth?” Lance elaborated, all smiles as he drank his sugary space juice.

Shiro glanced around the table, but Pidge beat him to commenting. “I’m sure somebody’s proud of you.” She laughed, adjusting her glasses so they were fixed on her face one more and glared in the light. “Red’s swooning by now.”

“Actually,” Hunk began, “When are Azulle and red getting married? Can we have a badass quest wedding? Wedding quest? We need closure.”

“They’re married through the spirit of battle. They don’t need fancy clothes or rings or ceremonies. It would be complicated.” Keith colored, sending a fleeting glance towards Lance.

“Well, I mean…” Lance laughed, glancing away too, “Azulle wouldn’t mind, anyway.”

“Foxglove was with Red in that market after the stupid retrieval quest we did for the Yalmor innkeeper, and Keith, you spent a lot of time whispering to Allura about what you were buying, so Foxglove should know.” Pidge explained slyly, scrutinizing her papers with a false casualty, “Can’t withhold information, you know.”

“Holy crow,” Lance shot up, excitement written in the way his face lit up, “Are you going to propose to me, Keith?”

Keith’s own face flared immediately, though he didn’t flinch under Lance’s beam and gaze. “I’ll text you what I bought, Pidge.” He gritted out.

“Why, thank you.” She said mercilessly.

When a strange silence fell over the table, unrealized only by the still excited Lance, Keith stood abruptly and moved away from the table. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Allura sighed, though she didn’t look like she truly had any objections. When Keith was out of sight, she and the rest of the table turned to Lance collectively, watching him smile down at his character notes almost bashfully.

“I can’t believe you’re going to marry Keith.” Hunk said lightly, all smiles.

He laughed in return, moving his bright eyes to meet his best friend’s own. “I know, right? Who thought we’d get here ?” After another chuckle, he stopped. “Wait.”

“There it is. We can all go home.” Pidge threw her hands into the air.

“Lance…” Shiro started, eyes on the hallway that led to the den where Coran was comfortable, “I give you my blessing.”

“Please don’t do this.” A flush raked up Lance’s neck to the tips of his ears, and he groaned as loud as he could. “They’re just characters.”

“Dude.” Hunk began, only to be cut off by Lance’s own standing.

“What’s that, Coran? More space juice for me in the kitchen? Be right there!” And he was gone.

Pidge rested her head in her arms on the table. “End this. Why did we even introduce them? Introduce this game ?”

“Without this game,” Matt decidedly sagely, resting a hand on his sister’s back, “We wouldn’t even know the extent of how sad they pine for one another.”

“They’ve contaminated dungeons and dragons by being in love.” She whined, squinting at Allura when she laughed from behind her partition.

When Keith returned from his fake bathroom run, he immediately asked, “Where’s Lance?” much to his own dismay at his train of thought.

Shiro looked towards him, soft mirth in his tired eyes. “Keith,” He began seriously, “Please, ask Lance out.”

Keith’s face gained color quickly, and he downed his space juice as he sat, fluster only amplified when Lance returned from the kitchen with a refill for the two of them.

[bralef]

A lot happened this year at PortConMaine - mostly in the form of tabletop RPGs - so I decided to write all about them. This is basically just going to be a huge wall of text of me gushing about the fun I had doing tabletop RPGs for half a week.

Thursday was kind of a weak start. My uncle surprised me by taking me to the new Transformers movie. I appreciate the gesture, but it was not only terrible, but it made me late to PortCon. I’d have rather watched Wonder Woman again. As a result, I missed the DnD 5e session I was planning on attending, so I went with some Star Wars session instead. I played a Wookie Technician. Nothing particularly amazing or awesome happened, but it was fun and funny enough, I suppose. Then I played some weird Spy/Word-guessing game that takes way too long to understand. Me and the guy I teamed up with won both rounds. Finally, I played a few rounds of Lupinball, some (free?) game on Steam. One of those deceptively simple lightning-fast multiplayer games. It's pretty fun.

~~

Friday was great, exactly what I'd expect out of a good day at Portcon. I participated in three sessions, and will cover them in order from least exciting to most.

In between two better sessions was a Pathfinder campaign where we explored some haunted house. It only took a couple hours (I think that DM preferred multiple quick adventures rather than one big one) and ultimately was pretty boring. I played a half-orc Inquisitor. Nothing really noteworthy happened.

The last session I did was a DnD 5e session called the Sunless Citadel. I was a Dwarven Barbarian who I named Beerbeard McBeardbeer after a character in a long-term campaign I'm in (though I didn't roleplay him very similarly). What we were supposed to do was help these Kobolds rescue their baby god or something.

What ended up happening was, we convinced them to let us use their key to open some big important door. Someone touched a magic orb that forced everyone to make a Wisdom save or be feared, forcing them to run right into a pit (where they would take 1d6 fall damage, or half on a successful save). Beerbeard and one other party member passed immediately. The others, including the Kobold holding the key, all ran into the pit and took damage (keeping in mind this is Level 1 where the median health of everyone is like 9). One of them re-entered the room and passed his save that time. The other two kept running back into the room, failing the save, and chucking themselves into the pit again (Beerbeard watched). One of them, at one point, decided to kill the kobold (who had been knocked unconscious by the fall) and steal the key...for some reason. Finally we all made it past the Orb of Confusion and into the next room.

The next room was simply a riddle where the answer was “stars.” Nothing exciting there. The next two rooms were separated by a spiky pit. Our monk made it across and promptly got fucking manhandled by an imp. So, one of our other dudes jumps across. Beerbeard tried to join them, failed the check, and took 9 piercing damage (out of his 16 health). Another party member failed too, only she was way squisher so she immediately went down.

Beerbeard managed to carry the downed party member out of the pit...Right as the imp went invisible. Fuuuuuck. The next several turns consisted of us swinging at nothing and attempting to find the imp, who eventually went across the pit to fight our remaining party member who hadn't jumped across. He eventually managed to slay it, and we were left with a coffin that we were all pretty certain contained a boss. We were beaten to shit, our healer was out of spell slots, and two of us were at 1 HP, but we had already expended all of our (read: one) hit dice. There was nothing to do but try fighting the troll.

It killed us all.

The second session I played was a contender for the best one I played all week. I believe it was Shadowrun, or at least took place in the same universe/system, but was some kind of sequel or successor to it. One thing I really dug about the system is how on-the-fly and improvised everything is, even among tabletops. For example, once per session every player gets to declare a contact. It can be as specific and on-the-nose as you want. For example, if the party's mission is to infiltrate some facility, you can go, say, “Oh, a buddy of mine worked as a security guard there once, he might be able to hook us up with some floor plans or something.” Stuff like that. In addition to whatever explicit equipment you have, certain events or actions will give you “Intel” or “Gear,” which basically works in a similar manner. With gear, if you're in a tight spot, you can say “Oh, that gear I picked up earlier? That was a grappling hook. I'm going to use it to scale the building and get away.”

Anyway, I played an Adept, which is sort of like a cyberpunk monk. A cybermonk, if you will. (I didn't steal that from you JP, I thought it up too but let you say it since I was on a phone and figured you'd pick up on it without my input). Taking inspiration from the recommended suggestions for my character, I made him a wrestler named Red Rooster. “He sounds like a luchador.” ...Well, I did make him hispanic, so yeah, that works! One of my party members was a huge fan of Red Rooster, and another party member, who was a hacker, used Red Rooster’s mask as his online hacking avatar.

We were also told to create fictional facilities in the universe that would be relevant to the session. I came up with Koala Tea, a restaurant chain. I decided that Red Rooster is basically their mascot, and thus all of his moves are named after items from their menu.

We were tasked with stopping a facility from releasing a mind-control potion onto the market. We decided to do this by blowing up their manufacturing facility. Along with Red Rooster (real name Carlito Diez), we had Tuck, a human hacker; Dominic, a shaman who was capable of communing with the spirit world and its inhabitants; and Devontus Grimlore, a troll-kin hired killer who preferred brute force. In our backstory, Devontus once broke into a Koala Tea establishment and, very publically and conspicuously, removed an official's mechanical endoskeleton from his body. Forcefully. This resulted in a huge brawl between him and Red Rooster, that evidently resulted in them becoming friends.

Dominic declared his contact: Siri, spirit of smart phones and information. She gave him a general map of the building and allowed him to open a window of opportunity for us to infiltrate. Unfortunately this also garnered the attention of Clippy, an obnoxious spirit who constantly annoys Dominic and suggests inappropriate solutions to problems.

We entered the facility using automated trucks that Tuck had hacked into. When we got in, we opened the doors, and Red Rooster blasted into the room on his flashy motorcycle while Devontus pulled out a piece of gear he had gathered earlier: A minigun.

Devontus is gunning down machines and personnel alike, while Red Rooster holds off the guards by driving his motorcycle into them and leaping off with a Koala Slider™ Tackle. Shrapnel from a stray gunshot cost Red Rooster one of his eyes, and Devontus gets his arm caught in some industrial machinery (he's a troll, he'll be fine). I realized that he was the only one who hadn't used his contact yet, so I decided a particular guard looked very familiar, even without his signature mask on...Red Rooster's rival, former mascot of Kangaroo Coffee...Blue Bull.

“What are you doing here, Blue Bull?! Dressed in that uniform and using a gun, guarding such a dishonorable facility! What happened to you?”

“YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHAT'S DISHONORABLE FOR ME RED ROOSTER RAAAAAAA” cue the fight, which I planned on winning to show Blue Bull the error of his ways, making him help us in destroying the facility.

I rolled the minimum roll possible, so Red Rooster got his ass kicked. He went in for a Koala BBQ Rib™crusher, but Blue Bull countered with an Atomic Coffee™ Suplex. So he didn't help us...But we still destroyed it, and got away thanks to Dominic timing the mission beforehand so that we simply needed to board one of the automated trucks that was leaving.

We completed the mission, and all we needed to do was get paid. We rolled to see whether there were any complications with the payment. Turns out we were set up, by what was heavily implied to be an elder god. Multiple incarnations of Clippy suddenly appeared and we tried to fight them off. Dominic cast an anti-clippy talisman he had explicitly gained earlier, which vaporized them and caused a dark void to appear, no doubt leading to the one who had set us up. We had to decide whether to stay and fight and probably die, or run. Devontus was up for a fight. As for the rest of us:

Me: I have “Code of Honor” and “Pride” as two of my character traits. Red Rooster literally can't turn away from this fight.

Dominic: [turns to Tuck] Remember us! Tell our story!

Tuck's player: You're assuming I'm still there.

Tuck: [already long gone]

The session ended with the three of us remaining turning to the void and leaping into whatever mysterious adventure it held in store for us. End Credits.

~~

Saturday was a weird coincidence. I played three sessions, and my character in all three of them was associated with dragons.

The 5e session I planned on attending was full, so I went with a 3.5e session instead, where I played a Half-Elf Dragon Shaman. The DM seemed pretty new at the whole thing, as there was very little actual roleplaying and it was basically just filler to get us from fight to fight. Early on I was really bored and tired to the point where I considered making an excuse to leave. I stuck with it, though, and by the end we had had a few fun moments, more from just joking around than the actual session. At one point our dwarf clobbered a sleeping red dragon with his axe...and it failed to notice or wake up.

The DM from the Sunless Citadel session was running the same campaign again, so I decided to join in again and see if we'd be more successful this time. He gave us all potions to help in that regard. This time I was playing a Dragonborn Fighter named Lamarr, and this time we actually went ahead with the plot instead of taking a detour to an optional boss. We agreed to help the kobolds find their dragon baby god. One complication was the fact that we had a goblin rogue on our team – the goblins stole the baby god, so the kobolds hated them. We managed to assure them he was on our (and thus, their) side, so the baby god's caretaker (Meebo) escorted us into Goblin territory. After fighting a big mama rat and her children (made a lot easier by our bard Tom casting a Sleep spell) we stepped into a hallway filled with caltrops. Our half-elf tried pushing them out of the way but somehow impaled herself and fell unconscious. We then got shot at by some Goblins at the other end of the hall, but our own goblin was all “Hey! What are you doing?” and managed to convince them he was working for some big goblin boss. He was mentioning that he'd want to work out a trade for the baby god, when Meebo saw this and went “TRAAAITOOOOR!” He ran back to the other kobolds, who turned their weapons on Tom, assuming we were secretly working for the goblins. He managed to convince them that Meebo was simply being paranoid and that we were being slick by tricking the goblins. We basically had a pass with both factions, and that’s where the session ended.

Finally, was a session where we were all dragons. Actual, literal dragons. Young ones, who had been kept in a cryptid circus and used for entertainment by evil witch bitch Magna. My character was Bar, a clawed dragon who was capable of digging. I don't think I ever actually used digging to our advantage. Highlights include:

The one diplomat dragon we had convincing five axe-juggling dwarf brothers to stop fighting us and actually help us escape.

Phantasmapotomas, a dancing hippo who existed as an excuse for the DM to sing songs relevant to whatever situation was at hand.

“I want to take him out nonlethally. [crit fail]” DM: Whoops, his head popped off!

Blue Dragon tackling the “caretaker” that abused us for years. He survived, but it was heavily implied his spine was severed and that he was paralyzed.

A riddle door who required three questions: What is your name, what is your mission, and [insert randomly-generated difficult trivia question]?

Diplomat dragon's response: 1. [Name]. 2. “To escape this hellhole.” 3. “Wait, WHICH capital? There's four of th- *launched into the sky*”

Arrogant Dragon's response: 1. [Name] 2. “To escape this place.” 3. “A number.” *launched into the sky*”

The Dwarven brothers' response: 1. [hacks door into pieces with axe] 2. [eats piece of door] Huh, gingerbread! (“It's a durable, reliable building material!”) 3. Now THAT'S how you get past a riddle door! [steals Magda's paybox]

The DM talking/responding out of character in Magda's voice/in character, implying she had metagame knowledge.

Magda attempting to turn four of us into newts in turn, and all four of us crit failing the save while Diplomat Dragon was being attacked by clown ghouls.

Us freeing all of the cryptids except the mermaids, because letting them out would kill them and dumping them into the local rivers would wreak havoc on the ecosytem. As one player described them, they were basically Dire Piranhas.

Ultimately we succeeded, and in fact we got straight to the point quicker than the DM planned. This is the same DM who hosted Werewolf Wrestling Federation vs the Vampire Women (one of the most fun sessions I’ve ever played), and when I mentioned that to him he said that, just because I asked, he'd make another session of that happen next year. Woo!

~~

On Sunday I killed some time by playing a few quick scenarios with the same Pathfinder DM, where I played a Cavalier named Alain (horse named Dalahan I think). First we stormed a haunted estate and killed some bugs and a weird ghoul thing. He wielded a severed leg as a weapon, and there was a corpse with only one leg in the corner. Here's a few quotes from the session:

“Can I take the leg?” “You can take the leg.” “I take the leg.”

“I give him his leg back.”

“No wait, I changed my mind, I need it.”

There was a well in the middle of the room with like a million more ghoul things, one of which was climbing up. I jabbed down into the well with my lance, and got a nat 20.

“You see Alain plunging into the well with his lance, blood and gore spewing out.”

“It's like a satanic toilet.”

It was a very short session, but that's good because it ended right when the conclusion of the Sunless Citadel started.

We only had three returning party members (including me), and three new ones. Our goblin rogue was taken over by the DM for diplomatic purposes, as were Tom and one other character. Tom managed to gain audience with the goblin boss (actually a Hobgoblin), and several slaves (read: the players new to this session) were brought out to be used as footstools. Aurelia, our Paladin, tried sneaking food to one of them, but was noticed. A flying mug and a shout of “NO FEEDING THE PRISONERS” let us know how the goblins felt about that. Our Cleric distracted them with dancing long enough for Tom to pick the locks on their manacles. One of them (a Tiefling Wizard whose first name was Freedom) cast a cantrip to make one of the doors fly open to try and cause a distraction, but was noticed, causing the goblins to realize we had set them free. Commence fight.

We were holding our own, but eventually a small goblin woman who had been kneeling in the corner stood up on the throne and declared she was the ruler of the goblins now. This caused the hobgoblins and goblins to fight amongst themselves. Eventually we helped her take down the king and his lackeys. As thanks, she freed the slaves: Freedom; a Dragonborn Monk named Roger; and a Warlock who I think was a halfling. They joined us, and we went upstairs to try and find the baby god: According to them, they lost at least one goblin per day to the thing, so were more than happy to let us take him off their hands.

Tipped off by a goblin’s screaming and severed arm launched from a doorway, we found the baby god. He then unleashed frost breath and knocked down Lamarr and the Cleric, before finishing off Roger with a claw. Aurelia managed to drag Lamarr out, and eventually we got everyone out alive and healed up, after sealing the door shut. Concluding that this dragon was far beyond our capacity at the moment, we instead opted to go after our second goal: finding the source of some magical fruit that can cure any ailment.

We went down a well in the goblin throne room, and were attacked by some twig things (who were easily dispatched) and shovel-wielding skeletons. The skeletons were tougher, but Lamarr knocked one’s head off with a nat 20. We then fought a Bugbear and his pet rats (one of which was named Fang).

Eventually we tied up a second Bugbear (I think her name was Helga) and had her lead us to Bellack, the magician behind the mystical fruit tree. He revealed he was basically mind controlling two previous adventurers as slaves.

Bellack: You have two options: Leave this place, or become my slaves. It is too late to save these two.

Lamarr: But not too late to avenge them.

Aurelia: We won’t be your slaves!

Lamarr: And we’re not leaving, either.

Cue the final boss fight...Which I immediately had to leave because I had a bus to catch. What an anticlimactic end to a great campaign, right?

Fortunately, at my request, the person playing Aurelia actually Emailed me the results of the fight and how the campaign ended:

“So the good news is that we didn't die. You and Roger used your fire breath to burn up the evil tree and we took down Bellack- however after burning the tree freed Sir Bradford and Sharlin from the spell, Bellack's death caused them to either and die. We did try to heal them, but the magic was beyond us. The big tree was in a grove of saplings and we decided to torch the whole grove as the trees were just too powerful. We took the bodies of Sharlin and Sir Bradford back to Oakhurst for proper burial- Sharlin to her family and Sir Bradford to the temple of Pelor. And that's where we ended it. Our entire party did make it out in the end- though (as I'm sure you can imagine) not without more struggling to keep the cleric in check.”

Thanks, Abby. You’re a lifesaver. A perfect way to end the campaign, as well as Portconmaine 2017. This was a great year, and I hope to have an even better one next year!

[queerlybrazen]

This is a written piece about the DnD campaign I have going on with @turianjournalist , @felxndaris, and a few other friends. To clear things up for anyone that wants to read it: Yevelda is a half-orc fighter, Maeve is a halfling bard, Emry is half-elf ranger, Torrin is a dragonborn druid, Eze is a gnome barbarian, Safaris is a tiefling rogue, Obsidian is Emry’s panther companion, and Billy is Torrin’s goat companion. So, if you read this thanks! If you don’t want to follow this content I will be tagging them as #DnD and #Mavelda every time.

Yevelda smiled as she walked with Maeve perched on her shoulder down the winding road. The weather was perfect for walking in between towns, providing a nice day for traveling for the party. Eze was sitting on top of Billy’s back smoking a joint and trying to get the goat to join her. Thankfully, Torrin was keeping a watchful eye on her actions. For the life of her Yevelda would never understand that gnome. She was beyond aggravating, always managing to hit on Yevelda’s last nerve, but still they kept her around. Eze was at least useful in a fight. Emry kept up a conversation with Obsidian as they traveled. They discussed the tree growth in the area and how healthy the grass appeared. After the hellscape of the big city, the ranger was excited to interact with nature again. Torrinn, the darling, was humming a bit under his breath as he walked alongside Billy and Eze. Yevelda couldn’t help but smile at the small dragonborn. Safaris trailed toward the rear of the group, lurking along without much conversation. She was a mysterious person, but she was loyal to their mission. Finding Kriv was easier said than done, but Safaris was willing to help in order to keep Torrin happy.

Yevelda had never felt this level of contentment before. She had been treated like a lesser being her entire life, and to have friends that depended on her was a new concept. The responsibility was frightening, yet added a sort of comfort to her day. She knew that every morning she was going to be met with the faces of her companions.

“It’s nice out, huh? Emry sure seems to be enjoying himself,” Yevelda said to Maeve.

“Yeah, not bad. I’m glad we are all out of that city,” they said in response.

“Definitely. I never thought I would have to go back. I’m just glad we got out without too much trouble. My past could have quickly caught up with us, and I didn’t want to put that on the group.”

“I understand that. There are a lot of bad memories in that city,” Maeve sighed and their body kind of drooped. Yevelda felt panic twinge through her chest at the distress Maeve seemed to be feeling. Out of everyone, Yevelda trusted in their friendship the most and knew that if worst came to worst she would always side with the halfling.

“Is there...I don’t know” Yevelda grumbled trying to put her words into a cohesive sentence, “Can I help? With anything?”

Maeve was silent for a second, “ I don’t…”

Their words were interrupted by a man standing in their path along the road, “Hello travelers!”

Yevelda tensed up at the introduction, feeling on edge with the sudden appearance. She knew that this was most likely a robbery, kidnapping, or assassination attempt. However, the last was the least likely given that an assassin would be an idiot to announce their presence.

“You are all very kind to donate to our fund today! I’ll need money, jewels, weapons, and any other valuables you may be carrying,” the man announced while holding out a bag of holding.

“Oh yeah! Let’s-” Eze began before being cut off by Emry and held back by Torrinn.

“You, sir, should not attempt to steal from us. This will end poorly for you,” Emry announced.

“Yeah, yeah you filthy noble. Come on prissy pants, put all your shit in the bag and none of you will get hurt,” The thief snarled.

“You think you could take all of us on? By yourself? Our gnome here would love to kill you right where you stand.” Emry rebuked. Yevelda strained to stop herself from rolling her eyes. The sad fact of the matter was that Emry wasn’t even lying.

“You might not be afraid of me alone but how about-,” the man whistled loudly, “15 of my men?”

“Hey, Fuckwit,” Yevelda gruffed while gently placing Maeve on the ground and stepping in front of them, “We are going to walk through here with all of our stuff and there isn’t a thing you can do to stop us. Your men don’t scare me.”

“Bold much, Half-Orc bitch?”

“Fuck you!” Maeve shouted trying to skirt around Yevelda, “Let’s go!”

“Maeve!” Yevelda barked before turning her attention back to the thieves, “As my companion here was trying to say you can either let us pass or face the consequences.”

The man bellowed out in laughter, and the group took that as a cue to draw their weapons. Yevelda quickly unhitched her warhammer and shield from her back. The familiar weight of the weapon brought a small sadistic smile to her face. She enjoyed the hefty weight of the hammer in her hand, and knew that these men would not be much of a challenge. They reminded her of a gang from her past that was quickly wiped out because they got too ambitious and tried to take from the wrong people. Thievery is a game of wits, and those as bold as this man wouldn’t last long in the real world of crime. Yevelda has seen people from all walks of life attempt this gig only to fail miserably. She was glad to teach this poser a lesson about stealing.

“One last chance, put your shit in the bag and no one will get hurt,” he demanded confidently.

“It’s your last chance to give up now before you all die,” Yevelda growled out, tusks jutting out further in a menacing look.

“Fine have it your way,” the man suddenly ducked and a flaming ball of fire flew straight over his head aimed at Emry.

In that instance the fight had begun. Yevelda watched as Eze went beserk, charging into the group of men with her hand axes held high. She tried to take out as many kneecaps as she could. Emry had dodged the fireball in time by rolling out of the way. He quickly came up to one knee and began firing shots off into the group of men. He ordered Obsidian to attack their leader. The panther lunged forward, only to be struck in the side with an icy blast from another magic user in their band. Emry cried out in horror as his beloved panther fell. Safaris was quick to rush in and scoop up the injured feline and pull him out of the fray. She moved with the grace of a dancer on the battlefield, dodging blows all while carrying the great beast. Once she laid the cat at Emry’s feet, she worked her way back into the fight. Daggers glinted in the sunlight as she struck out against the large human men attempting to pin her down. Each of their clumsy moves was countered by three of her own. In no time she had debilitated two of her attackers and was working on another. Torrinn had shifted into a timber wolf and was circling around the band of thieves quietly, trying to gain the element of surprise. He latched onto the shoulder of one of the archers in the back of the group. His screams rang out, echoing loudly through the trees.  A smile cracked Yevelda’s face knowing that even sweet Torrin was fighting for all he was worth.

Yevelda knew that taking out the leader was the best plan of action for ensuring that the fighting ceased. If he died, his men may not feel like continuing the battle and that could cut down on injuries. Without Warren the group was more vulnerable, and getting injured now could spell death. Launching with a yell, Yevelda swung her hammer out in hopes of striking the leader in the head. Unfortunately, he was quick and deftly dodged out of the way. He pulled a rapier from his hip and squared up to fight. Yevelda let out a large huff of air reminiscent of a laugh. This puny man thought he could fight her with that dinky little weapon. The thief’s eyes glinted as his eyebrow quirked upwards.

“You underestimate my abilities, half breed,” he spat the insult like it was fire in her direction.

“Like I haven’t heard that before from my victims,” Yevelda added a growl to the end of her sentence.

The duo began to circle each other, trying to test the waters without jumping in. Yevelda knew that she had an advantage in strength and reach over the man, but he was much quicker than her. If he got under her swing, he could take jabs at her abdomen. But if she swung upwards he would have nowhere to dodge and get within her space. As they pair finished their appraisal of the other, Yevelda caught sight of Maeve firing bolts into crowds of thieves from a boulder they had perched upon. The sight of was a reminder of what could happen if Yevelda didn’t finish this fight fast. With a plan formed Yevelda faked to the left and swung her great hammer upwards toward the man’s chin on his left side. He had attempted to lunge at her right side with his sword, but that had only put him in a better position for her attack. Yevelda caught the thief under the chin with her mighty swing, snapping his head back and severing his neck from the spinal column. He dropped into a heap on the ground, his lifeless body folding in upon itself.

“I think you underestimated me,” Yevelda bellowed as she attached her shield to her back and grabbed the corpse, “Your leader is dead. Cease and desist.”

“NO!” a man that was lingering back in the group screamed. He quickly summoned a great ball of fire in his hands and flung it out towards Yevelda. Without her shield the fire would inflict massive damage. Frantically she dropped to ground, and tried to roll out of the way of the attack. Her somersault brought her back up to her feet in one fluid motion as she pulled a dagger from its holster on her thigh. With sheer force, Yevelda flung the blade at the magic user and impaled him through his breast bone. She could hear him choking on blood that quickly pooled in his throat and lungs.

“Anyone else?” She replied eerily calm.

“Yevelda!” Torrin shouted from behind her, “Maeve! They’re hurt.”

With that Yevelda turned her back on the enemy, a move that no fighter should ever make in the heat of battle. Torrin was cradling an unconscious Maeve in his arms. They were burned badly indicating that the fireball aimed at Yevelda had indeed met a mark. Suddenly red filled Yevelda’s vision. The world was drowned in blood and she was prepared to add to it. With speed that a person her size should never possess, Yevelda whipped around and faced the five remaining men. They were at fault for hurting Maeve. They were the reason Maeve was burned and in pain. With a blood-curtling scream, Yevelda charged the men with two axes in hand. Rage like she had never felt coursed through her veins, even when she had been tied down and beaten by the orc gang she had not felt this bloodlust. With vicious precision Yevelda cut through the enemies bodies as if they were butter. As she powered onward she could feel weight begin to drag her down, but nothing would stop her from obliterating the cause of Maeve’s pain.

“Yevelda! Stop!” Emry shouted as he clung to her back.

“Fucking hell,” Eze cursed as she was dragged behind Yevelda, hanging onto her leg for dear life.

“See reason Yevelda! That one is the healer! He could fix them!” Safaris reasoned as she tried to wrap her tail around Yevelda’s stomach. Their efforts were making little impact on the rampaging woman. The man was quivering in fear, knowing that the warrior was seconds away from slicing him in half like his companions mere seconds before. However, Torrin stepped in front of the man, clutching the dying Maeve to his chest.

“Yevelda, stop,” he whispered, standing directly in the path of destruction.

Abruptly all motion ceased, and Yevelda stood centimeters from Torrin and Maeve. Great puffs of air were forced from her lungs in an effort to maintain control over her emotions. Peering over the top of Torrin’s head, Yevelda could see the final member of the band of thieves. He had soiled himself in fear, and was currently slumped to the ground in obvious relief. He didn’t appear to be carrying anything other than a dagger and a bag of holding. A thief with so little was most likely support for the others in his group, meaning he was most likely a healer.

“Are you a fucking healer?” Yevelda said, still trying to push her rage and panic down deep in her chest.

At first the man winced at her voice, then slowly looked up.

“Fucking answer me!”

“Yes…” he meekly replied.

Yevelda reached out for Maeve, and Torrin didn’t hesitate a moment before handing them over. She cradled the halfling gently in her arms, the blood from the slaughtered men staining Maeve’s clothes.

“Fix Maeve, or I will end your pitiful life with my bare hands,” Yevelda threatened in a menacing whisper.

“Y-yes,” the man began digging in his bag of holding, “Set her down here.”

“It’s they,” she barked.

“R-r-right. Set them down here.”

Yevelda knelt down, protecting Maeve’s body with her own. She balanced their tiny body on her lap and awaited the healer’s instructions. All the while, Yevelda never took her eyes off of Maeve’s face. They looked so broken, with burn marks running across their chest. The fireball had hit them dead center, a hit Maeve could had deftly dodged if they had seen it coming. But, they hadn’t because the blast had been meant for Yevelda. If only she had taken the hit instead, Maeve wouldn’t be this close to death. Yevelda could still feel small, bird-like breaths, but they were fading out fast.

“I need you to open their mouth. This is a potion of superior healing, so it will hopefully be enough to save their life.”

Quickly following the command, Yevelda gently opened Maeve’s mouth and held it so the healer could pour the potion slowly down their throat. Once the vial was emptied, Yevelda sat still as a statue waiting for any sign of improvement.

“Please Maeve. You have to come back,” she whispered softly so that no one but Maeve could hear.

The halfling’s eyes began to flutter open and they saw Yevelda’s face covered in blood hovering over them. Tears shined in Yevelda’s eyes, and Maeve knew she was fighting back her feelings for the sake of the group. Yevelda was always like that, looking out for everyone but herself. Maeve gingerly reached up and wiped some of the blood off Yevelda’s cheek.

“You know this stuff stains right?” they said gruffly, their throat still sore.

A bright smile overtook Yevelda’s face and a few tears fell, “So I’ve been told. I should have cleaned up before welcoming you back, but I figured saving your life should come first.”

“Eh, I’ve seen you looking worse.”

“Well, you certainly have never looked better. Being alive suits you,” Yevelda hugged Maeve to her chest gently. She had never felt so relieved in her life, and that might account for the swift kiss she placed on Maeve’s hair.

The group let the two have their moment, knowing that it was more significant than either Yevelda or Maeve realized. Emry talked to the thief and let him go on his way after handing over several more healing potions. One of which Emry took to the injured Obsidian and administered immediately. Safaris, Eze, and Torrin began collecting weapons off of the ground and looting the bodies for valuables.

“When are those two going to figure it out already?” Eze whined.

“They have to get there on their own time,” Safaris said.

“I can’t wait till they do!” Torrin chimed in.

Yevelda straightened herself out of the kneeling position and gently placed Maeve atop her shoulders so they wouldn’t have to walk. She grabbed up her discarded weapons and turned to find the rest of the party waiting on her.

“What the hell are you all waiting for? Get a move on,” she commanded while rejoining them, glad to have the familiar weight of Maeve on her shoulders again.

[cynicaldesire]

There’s a few scenes I really liked from our DnD campaign that we have since put on hiatus or abandoned. My husband and I didn’t want to be That Couple at the table, so we tried to make separate characters and not really interact with them as if they were in a relationship and stuff. But... it bleeds. I’m new to a long-term game, there’s only 3 people in the game, etc.

I feel like I’ve talked about this before, but I want to again in case I missed anything. So if you’re interested, let’s go on a journey.

My character was a Celestial Pact Tiefling Warlock where the pact being was a Fae creature. I chose the Anthropologist background and the setting said that Tieflings are usually viewed as demonic, so I had her abandoned as a baby. I wanted to take Magic Stone as her cantrip even though Eldritch Blast is generally considered The Warlock Cantrip because I felt like Eldritch Blast was too... was not the right flavor I wanted for the character. So my husband was like Lawl, what creature made a pact with a baby? Then he joked about how maybe it made a pact with my character and gave her Magic Stone because she wanted to be able to skip rocks. The cost for her power was that she had to wear a mask.

I figured, since my character was abandoned as a child, raised by a Fae, and given magic at the cost of wearing a mask, that she was basically an Anthropologist by way of her Fae adoptive family asking her to go “study” the people and report back what the fuck was going on with the mortals.

So we started in a Guild Tavern, the last one along the road before reaching barely settled frontier. The DM even had there be an indigenous population where we went. So, being an anthropologist, my character is setting out to document and understand towns, cultures, anything she could get her hands on. She has a journal or several, she has several masks that she wears, she covers all of her skin. She’s at the Guild Tavern writing some notes about her adventure thus far when she catches wind of a Gnome fortune teller telling the fortune of some other patron of the tavern. This fortune teller was one of the other players. I was going to have her ask him about his magic, about being a gnome, etc. But at the table next to him is this hulking brute of a man with obvious tribal tattoos, sharp fangs, pelts and other shit, who is trying desperately to write on paper. The brute and the magician seem to know each other, but the magician is busy and the tribal stuff is more niche (and also my husband) so I went to RP with him.

He’s a little shy but not an asshole, mostly surprised at the interest. We all agree to travel together so that my character can learn about Gnomes and Vampire Barbarians. We encounter some trouble along the way, I have to heal the Wizard, it’s interesting. When we go to the mayor of the tiny little town, he basically says that the adventure and reward he promised was basically just moving to a town in the frontier, isn’t that exciting? My character has no real reason to stay at this point so she basically makes the decision to leave and head further out to find something that is not civilization. The Barbarian is traveling with the Wizard so while the Barb doesn’t wanna stay, the Wizard does, so they end up staying. But while the Wizard is wandering about town getting to know people, he talks to the bread maker who gives him a cup of coffee and a free loaf of bread.

This is where one of my favorite scenes shows up. It’s a brief interaction, but meaningful. Like one you’d put in an AMV or something. The Barbarian, Grendel, was trying to interact with a blacksmith, tried to go around town to get some information and make friends and didn’t have much luck. He ended up at the town hall, grumpy, sitting on the stairs. My character had also gone around to learn all she could about the people in the town, finally stopping at the mayor to understand how he runs it. She ends up at a table or on a pew inside the building. The Wizard shows up and hands Grendel, the Vampire, the bread. They head into the building and the Wizard tells Grendel to wait outside while he goes to talk to the mayor. Grendel sees Rokaria, my Warlock, sitting in the building writing feverishly and does that thing most people do at a party, he goes to sit next to her with his bread. He’s munching on it absently, like a dejected teen just taking big dumb bites out of it. He sits next to Rokaria, looks at her, then offers it to her. She pauses in her work and looks to it and him. She wears a mask, so he can’t really read her. She takes a moment to understand and appreciate the situation and then grabs some and slips it under her mask. He asks if it is any good and (after a roll) it’s pretty good. They sit there sharing this random bread the Wizard handed them in an empty community building.

That night, Rokaria has a nightmare of her Warlock Patron being corrupted and killed or something. She wakes up in the middle of the night to see the forest, dubbed Faerie Fire Forest, to be glowing like its on fire. She wakes up everybody to check it out. I don’t think we found anything that night, perhaps hesitation because we were level 1, or... I don’t remember well enough. We did some investigating the next day, killed a bear, talked to some kids in the town, and eventually my character wandered off from the other two to go check out the suspicious Faerie Circle in the forest. (Rokaria did this because the Wizard was taking charge of everything, signing us into the town ledger making us residents of the town without asking, taking over the investigation of the Faerie Forest from the character raised by faeries, and generally not listening to her and being an asshole.) When they realized my character had been missing, they waited like 15 minutes before going to find her.

Grendel is a pretty good tracker so he finds her trail and follows it into the forest to find Rokaria snooping around this Faerie Circle. (I assumed, because of the mask thing, that I wasn’t supposed to discuss my faeries and my warlock patron, so I had been keeping it a secret.) He shows up and Rokaria is immediately like “Oh hi! I wasn’t doing anything. Just... found a ditch here, weird. Anyway, is it dinnertime?” The wizard shows up to ask why the fuck she wandered off alone, it’s dangerous, generally be a jerk. He figures she’s hiding something from them and immediately decides she’s not worth his time. Rokaria asks them to trust her for a bit and he says whatever. Grendel says Okay, because she’s saved their lives plenty of times and all she’s asked for is for them to let her have this one secret. When they go to leave, she gets a whisper from the Faerie Circle, asks them to follow her and she’ll explain everything, and dives in.

Now, I had been ignoring the signs that this hole in the ground opened up to a big fucking drop, so I jump in, the DM asks me a couple times if I’m sure, then says Okay, you take a bunch of damage when you fall into an underground river. and I’m like OH NO~ I’M UNCONSCIOUS. LAWL. OOOPS.

So, in character, Rokaria screams for Grendel and Khaden, the wizard, to follow her and just disappears into this crack in the ground. Grendel, startled by this, follows her, but has enough sense to check the drop. He and Khaden get their rope together to drop Grendel in a bit before he falls the rest of the way and rescues Rokaria before she can float away too far in the underwater river she fell into. Grendel gets them to a dry spot, stabilizes Rokaria, and then waits while Khaden makes his own way down safely. While he’s waiting, Grendel does a full bodily check of Rokaria, including under her mask. He doesn’t mention what he finds. He just stays by her side while Khaden makes his way down.

While underground and low on health, they get attacked by some malevolent faeries. Fire faeries that explode on death. Grendel goes unconscious. Khaden stabilizes him and then waits for a couple hours for us to wake up.

Everything after that is less shippy. Just those couple of moments, of sharing bread and then diving into danger to save her, discovering her secret and not only telling no one but also not treating her any different, then falling unconscious to protect her? Delicious.

[totallyweepingtheorist]

I Need an Outlet for My Teaching Side - DnD tips for new DM’s

Hey all,

I felt like taking 30 minutes to post once before Christmas and I need to distract myself from failing to get this job (Postdoc job hunts yay) so I want to talk about DnD. Yes I have jumped on the band wagon and despite being a huge nerd I didn’t play it when I was younger due to my lack of friends. But a few years ago while drunk we started playing and cut to two years later when I suggest I DM a new campaign for friends in the city we live (The first game was a distance game with old friends). That was a year ago and we are now barrelling towards the final fight with Tiamat and the end of a 1-20 lvl year long campaign. I am now writing the setting for the second campaign which will start soon after the first ends and I feel I now have some knowledge to pass on to DM’s. First though I should say, Watch the DM series from Matt Colville which at this point is quite a lot longer than when I watched it. As a basis there is no better resource (Sorry webDM) and I wholly recommend it. Obviously form there check out season 2 of critical role for an idea of the perfect DnD setup both DM and players. Now forget critical role because it will not be like that, at least at first, and if any player suggests its your fault it isn’t like that tell them to shut it. No group is that well suited or that talented (they are all voice actors at the end of the day) from the start. After a year my group (who are in the top 1% of groups for compatibility, trust me I’m lucky) are only just getting to be 10% of critical role. That’s not to say it isn’t fun, we laugh so much every week and look forward to it, but it will be different because you are not and your players are not professional voice actors.

Anyway, once you are introduced and you know what you know from Colville you are left with guidance and a hastily constructed world with holes in it everywhere. I am presuming you got this far and I have some tips for the next stage, the intermediate lessons you learn DMing your first full campaign. So here are the 5 most important things you need to know, and yes its 5 because the internet comes in 5’s for some reason.

1/ Have a session 0! If you don’t lay out what to expect the group is going to struggle. You may want to do an open world game, a railroad game, half way between. There may be suicide and other themes of the sort, or there may be no mention of real life difficulties. Ensuring the players know what to expect is so important to them not being disappointed and you not being caught off guard.

2/ Do not sweat the details! You cannot prep everything and if you try you will destroy your love of your own world and find out you missed something anyway. The players will never guess when you make up details as they go but they will notice you improvising a quest or a bad name. Prep names to use for random people they interact with and prep quests and locations. Do not try and prep everything, improv is a necessary part of DnD so let it happen and see how it goes.

3/ Do not fret being wrong! In the last part you might be panicking but it really doesn’t matter if you mess up. Your players want to play and you are the only way to do it. Trust me DM’s do not come around very often especially not DM’s that care. So if you are nice to them, care for their enjoyment and then fuck something up. They will let it go and help you continue the story, do not be scared to make a mistake.

4/ Admit your wrong! You are not a god and there will be times you mess up a detail of the rules or the world itself. Somewhat tied into the above point but if you do make a mistake your players will not rip you to shreds. They might If you bullshit and say you are right and they are remembering it wrong when they pull up their note books. Admit your wrong, move on and keep going, don’t let it bog you down.

5/ Have fun and the players will! Do not think your enjoyment is not an integral part of the experience. If you are bored, your players will be bored because the portal through which they are viewing the world is bored. You cannot write a huge story and lecture them, but you also need to be involved and engaged to have excitement. If you find yourself bored or sad about the session talk to your players because they will not enjoy it till you do.

6/ Caught you off guard! The players as I just did will play with expectations and so when writing a story NEVER write presuming a specific thing will happen. You can write quests and presume they will complete them, but you don’t know how they will do it and what the ramifications will be. Plan the quest and the people and decide how they react to the situation once you know what the situation actually is.

Anyway that’s not extensive and its not meant to be a guide but there some lessons I learnt during play to supplement the info for new DM’s out there. Thanks guys, see you next time.

Cheers