#I’m finding that I’m not getting annoyed by any of the backtracking which is a great sign

[chibishortdeath]

OH I AM BEING SO INCREDIBLY NORMAL ABOUT CORDOVA TOWN RN—

[hulhudhonado]

So I Heard A Rumor...

Synopsis: You promised Kaeya drinks, he promised to be your wingman so you can finally ask his brother, Diluc, on a date. However your plan comes crashing when rumor comes out that you would be buying drinks for all the knights. You also just can't seem to get rid of this bard who keeps singing songs to you. Will you achieve your chance to ask your dream man out? Let's find out.

CW: ALCOHOL, OTHER THAN DILUC NO ONE IS GOING TO BE SOBER, minor swearing, Venti is a bit clingy too

HC: Reader is gender-neutral, Reader does not have a vision, Reader works as a knight, Reader is very clearly in love with Diluc (lol)

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Venti, Jean, Mentions of Favonious knights and Traveller (Honorary Knight)

Note: Going to apologise in advance because I have no idea how alcohol works as I am not a drinker and don't plan to. I clown on Diluc a lot because my friend is obsessed with him however funnily enough he is the character I have the most ideas with. I'm talking angst, fluff, comfort, everything. Anyway enjoy this cringe fest! Please make sure to like, comment or reblog the post. It helps it reach a wider audience and motivates me to write more silly stuff like this. Enjoy!

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The current situation was far from ideal. Tonight was supposed to be the night you finally dared to ask Diluc out on a date. However, right now you were surrounded by drunken knights who wouldn’t stop singing along with an even more drunk bard who had his whole body wrapped around you. You could see Diluc seething at the bar, his fist clenched on the glass so tight you were certain it would break any minute now.

Backtracking to how you have ended up in this situation, it all started because of a rumour. Whispers among the crowd saying Donna was going to make her move soon. You couldn’t allow this, you had loved Diluc since his days as a knight! Sure you never dared to confess this entire time but Donna barely had any history with this man compared to you! She had a long way to go to get to your level. However, it didn’t help that Diluc was a bachelor and a perfect one at that. Even if Donna did or didn’t make her move, someone else might snatch him up sooner or later. It didn’t help that the honorary knight seemed to have become close to him as well. You need to act fast.

So you made a deal with Kaeya, if anyone was going to help you it had to be him. When you first told him about your crush he burst out laughing, before realising you were serious.

“Wait shit for real?” He asked, dumbfounded. You nod, trying not to be embarrassed. He stared at you like you had just said the most unbelievable thing. In Kaeya’s defence, you did say the most outrageous thing imaginable. He knew Diluc was considered a hot target in the single’s market, but for you to also fall for his charms? A shocking revelation.

“Are you going to help me or not?” You ask, now impatient. You didn’t have time to let him make fun of you for liking his brother, someone could be seducing him right now! Kaeya blinked at you in disbelief. However, his face soon shifted to a shit-eating grin. You groaned, instantly regretting your decision. “If you’re not then I’m going to ask someone else ok?!” You exclaim, annoyed and try your best not to give him more reason to make fun of you.

“Nah nah! You came to the right place! I’ll help, I'm an amazing wingman!” He laughed. You shushed him, you didn’t want anyone else to know about this and Kaeya tried his best to hold in his laughter but chuckles and giggles could not stop escaping this man. “Just buy me a couple of drinks and I’ll make sure you both end up in bed together by the end of the night!” He teased, which only made you groan.

That was the plan, you buy him drinks and he would help you look good enough for Diluc to swoon over you. However, for some reason, word got out and suddenly the whole knight team was out and about ready to get drinks from you.

“Wow, aren't you generous? Paying for the knights to drink as much as they want!” Swan chuckled. You didn’t know how it ended up like this, even Kaeya shrugged at you confused. Somehow word got out that you would be paying for ALL the knights to drink until they passed out. It had gotten so big that even Jean decided to join in.

“Well, the knights barely have time to come together and have fun, so I couldn’t miss this.” She smiled at you and that stopped you from calling the whole thing off because there was no way you could say no to Jean.

So now here you were, at Angel Share, drunk knights singing and playing games at the bar. You chugged down on a bottle of wine, feeling like absolute shit. Not only were you going to have to pay for all this but right now you were the worst offender in Diluc’s eyes. Dragging all the knights here and ruining his shift. All you wanted to do was confess but instead, you ended up creating the worst environment for any love to happen.

Finally the damn bard on your lap. You don’t know how he got into this but he was drinking off your tab as well. He was so grateful for your generosity that he decided the best way to show it was by singing tunes dedicated to you while sitting on your lap. He had one arm wrapped over your neck, which strummed the lyre in his hands. He was wrapped around you like spaghetti on a fork. It didn’t help that Diluc could see this man sit on your lap while singing tunes about how wonderful you were.

So right now in Diluc’s eyes, you were, a drunk who wastes their money on alcohol, loves to bring chaos to environments, and also a flirt who has no shame in doing PDA with strangers.  The least ideal person to date. You avoided any eye contact with Diluc, you could not face him at this point. You turned to look at Kaeya who was completely out of it. He had drunk so much that he was pretty much passed out just a couple of minutes ago.

‘So much for being a wingman…’ you thought, but honestly speaking in this situation, if Kaeya spoke up it would have probably ended up worse. You looked at the time, seeing how it was almost 12. The bar was set to close soon and Diluc would begin to kick out the knights. Finally, this terror would end and you could go back to your house to cry yourself to sleep. You were smart enough to call the next day off. you hoped whoever spread the rumour had a terrible hangover tomorrow while working the next day. They deserved it.

As you continued to curse the people who spread these twisted rumours, the bard decided to speak up after chugging down another glass. “You seem down my friend! Another song will cheer you up!” He laughed, stringing his lyre once more ready for another song. Cheers of knights could be heard across the bar, hyping him up for another. You sighed, placing a hand on the lyre and putting it down. “No no, I think we had enough songs for tonight. Let’s end the night guys.” You say, trying to stand up while carrying the bard bridal style.

As you tried to stand up, the bard whined trying to shake you off. You underestimating how drunk you were couldn’t carry his weight anymore, especially when he was moving around. You tried to steady yourself but the bard would not stop squirming leading you to slip and fall down. Making sure the bard didn’t hit the floor, and get hurt you shifted your body so you would land on the ground instead, your back hitting flat on the floor while the bard fell on top of you to soften his fall.

The bard whined, resting his head on your chest while you had your grip him to make sure he didn’t get hurt during the fall. The crack of glass could be heard in an instance. Everyone turned towards the sound to see that Diluc had in fact, shattered the glass he was cleaning the entire night.

“Out.” He said. The aura in the tavern immediately turned grim. Knights anxiously made their way out the door, saying their goodbyes to you. Jean carried Kaeya on her back, giving you a weak drunk smile before heading out as well. The bard clearly didn't get the clue as he had passed out on top of you.

Diluc was mad and it was all your fault. You could feel the tears come out. It especially didn’t help that you were drunk out of your mind, unable to hold back your emotions. You gently pushed the bard off you, trying to stand up. At this point, the only people left were you, Diluc, and the passed-out bard. 

You mumble sorry, trying to get up while tears continue to flow down your face. Unable to see clearly made it a bit of a struggle to get up, it also prevented you from noticing Diluc who had somehow made his way to you. You jolted up, almost falling over once more, but he caught you before another slip occurred. His arm wrapped your waist gently, steadying you up. You could feel yourself heat up.

“You have to be careful. Here.” He mumbled, guiding you to sit down. You were shocked he had not kicked you out honestly. You looked at him teary-eyed as he pulled out a handkerchief from his apron, dapping your tears away.

“You can sit here and wait until I close. I’ll drop you off afterward. “ He exclaimed, placing the cloth in your hands. “Oh no you don’t have to, I need to drop off the bard home first.” You say, your hands gripping on the cloth ever so tightly. You didn’t dare to stay with Diluc, especially after how terrible the night went. You wanted to leave as soon as possible but the minute you mentioned the bard you could see Diluc halt.

His gaze turned cold as he glared at the unconscious bard on the floor. He walked towards him, picking the bard up from the scruff of his clothes and heading towards the door. He tossed the bard out like trash before dusting his hands off. “Venti can figure out his way to get home. You're unsteady and drunk, so I’m taking you home myself.” You had no escape now. Muttering an ok, you put your head down trying to feel as small as you could.

Were you such a mess that Diluc didn’t think you were capable enough to get home? You were still a knight! Sure you weren’t an honorary knight but you were one, and a decent one at that. You could feel your thoughts spiral but it always leads to the same conclusion. Diluc would never like you back and probably felt pity for you.

You didn’t know how long you were lost in your thoughts, before Diluc spoke up. “I’m done, let’s get going.” He said. You try to answer but the alcohol finally seems to be in your system because you couldn't force yourself to say coherent words. You groan which only made Diluc sigh.

He lifted you from your seat, making you wrap your arm around his neck. He wrapped his arm around your waist once more and held onto your arm with his hand. You immediately could feel the heat from his body. You were already sweating because of the alcohol but now with his heat on your side, you could almost feel your skin burn. You whine, trying to push him away a bit but his grip on you was firm. You look him directly in the eyes. Big mistake.

He had the same poker face he usually had but for some reason, stars were dancing in his eyes tonight. Was he always this beautiful? You weren’t sure if the alcohol was playing tricks on your mind because you couldn’t believe how stunning this man looked. Looking carefully at his face you could see light scars scattered around his jaw. His cheeks were decorated with slight freckles. You couldn't believe how close you were to even notice them.

You weren’t sure what came over you but it was too late to stop the words from spilling out of your mouth. “I’m in love with you.” You stared at him before suddenly realising what you had just said. You can’t believe you had just said that. You wanted to take it back, your brain was wrecking up on excuses to say to him.

‘It’s a joke’ or ‘I didn’t mean to say that’ or even an ‘I meant it for someone else’. Your brain kept thinking of various things you could say but nothing would spill out. So here you were mouth gaping open, begging yourself to say something.

Diluc sighed, and you could feel your heart shatter. “Let’s take you home.” You didn’t argue, letting him drag you back to your house. You could feel yourself fall asleep on the way. You gave up in defeat. At least you were off the next day, you would be able to drown in your sorrows tomorrow.

As you tried to comfort yourself, you felt yourself drift off asleep. You could hear Diluc speak but the words wouldn’t register, you needed to escape from him for a bit.

—

You woke up on your bed, you turned to look out the window to see that it was still clearly night. You groan, sitting up on your bed. Your room was dark but you could see a light peeking under the door of your room, the living room light was still on. You groggily walk out of the room to turn it off, only to see Diluc outside. He was in the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets.

You look at him in disbelief while he turns to face you. “You ok? It’s too late to buy hangover medicine so I wanted to see if you had any stocked up.” You try to speak, only to be stopped by a cough. Your throat felt so dry, you couldn’t say a word. “Oh, drink this.” Diluc handed you a glass of water, which you chugged down in an instant.

“I was going to hand it to you with the medicine but never mind. You should go rest, I’ll leave soon.” He said, continuing his search in your cupboard. You shook your head. “You can just leave, it’s fine, I can take care of myself.” You wanted him gone as soon as possible. As domestic as it felt having him in your house taking care of you, this man rejected your confession and you didn’t have the strength to handle it at this moment.

You had a splitting headache and a broken heart and Diluc being here was not going to fix that. Diluc halted, stopping his search, you could see a frown on his face as he closed the drawers before turning to you. “Can I ask you something?” He asked, ever so quietly. He was always a silent type of guy, but even this time you could hear how vulnerable he was. The way he asked you in such a soft way made you instantly answer him without a second thought. “Go ahead.” You wanted to hit yourself, you wish you didn’t have such a soft spot for him.

“I heard a rumour, going around…” he continued. He played with his hands, fiddling them about as if he was feeling shy. You cringed at the thought, why would Diluc of all people feel shy? You were just being delusional at this point. As you contemplated your thoughts he continued. “People were saying you invited the knights out for drinks because you got engaged, is that true?” 

The cup you had in your hands dropped to the ground. You were glad it wasn’t glass because it would have shattered in an instant, and you had seen enough things shatter today. However, you honestly could not believe the words that had just come out of Diluc’s mouth. “Wait what? Are you serious?” You ask, completely thinking this was a prank. “Why would you think that? Who would even say that?” Who was spreading these rumours around? You were going to kill them.

“So it’s false?” “Of course it’s false! I’m not even dating anyone!” You exclaim, now wondering whether your confession was rejected because Diluc thought you were cheating on your nonexistent partner. 

“So you aren’t dating Venti?” “I don’t even know who that is!” You say, frustrated. You put your hands on your face, feeling annoyed. You groan into them in anger. All these stupid rumours were the reason you were here with a horrible headache and Diluc looking at you like you were scum on Earth. You wanted to crawl up into a ball and disappear right now.

“Then can you do me a favour?” Diluc spoke up, disturbing your grovelling session. You look up from your hands and stare at him sadly. “What?” You weakly ask.

“Can you confess to me again when you aren’t drunk?” You blink, unsure of what you just heard. “What?” You say, still unable to process what he had just asked you to do.

“Your confession. Say it to me when you aren’t drunk.” He said once more, looking at you with his unchanged expression. He was being deadly serious. He was asking you to confess again. “Wait wait, so you don’t hate me?” Diluc tilted his head, eyebrow raised. He seemed shocked you even said that. “Why would I ever hate you? Were people saying that?” He asked, crossing his arms, his face turned dark when he said it but you shook your head. “No no, but, does that mean you like me?” You ask, feeling sheepish.

And for the first time this entire night, you could see a small smile fall on his lips. His face softened, no longer a glare in his eyes. His cheeks rose a bit when he smiled and you were certain this smile was for you. “Ask again when you aren’t reeking of alcohol.” He retorted back playfully. “Now, off to bed, I’ll head out now. I heard that you won’t be at work tomorrow so I better hear from you soon.”

With that, he left you, alone in your house, with your thoughts full of him. You knew for a fact you were not going to be able to sleep the entire night, nor was your headache going to be fixed by any type of medicine. 

Sorry Mondstadt, but your favourite bachelor is finally going to be off the market!

—

The slight sounds of a lyre could be heard in the distance on the streets of Mondstadt. A drunk bard still singing a tune.

“Did you hear about this rumour? There is going to be love in the air soon~”

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[traffic-was-a-b1tch]

anthem of the heart

(jake kiszka x reader) 18+

summary: you and your best friend move into a new apartment after college, wanting a fresh start in nashville. however, you come to find that your neighbors are musicians. very loud musicians who like to keep you up at night. especially one, who likes to bother you on purpose. you would hate him… if he wasn’t so hot.

warnings for overall series: eventual SMUT!!!, angst, mentions of past abuse (not jake), abuse (not jake), mentions of past sexual assault (not jake), sexual assault (not jake), enemies to lovers, cursing, let me know if I missed any. (i’m still making this series up as I go along so it might change)

warnings for this chapter: sweet jake (but still cocky ofc ;)), cursing, talk of the incident in chapter three, a “touch her and you’ll die” comment from jake 😫, let me know if I missed any!

author’s note: hey guys! THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH for the comments and love for my series as it’s progressing! i’m starting a tag list per request so please comment if you would like to be added! as always, please feel free to give me feedback, requests, comments, etc. enjoy!!!!

• • •

Chapter Four:

you woke up in a strange place.

it wasn’t your room, that’s for sure.

your eyes adjusted and scanned your surroundings with tired eyes. you were wrapped in black bedsheets on a very comfortable bed with a nightstand next to it. there was only mood lighting on, which left an amber glow through the room.

across on the wall was a tv, various band posters, and a clock that read 2:43 am.

you slowly sat up, the change in position making your body flare with pain. your arm was sore, as well as your chest, and there was a sharp pain in your temples. you touched your aching skin, remembering what happened. you tried to shake it all from your memory.

“oh fuck, you’re awake.”

in the doorway, stood jake. he was in a black ramones shirt and sweatpants, carrying a mug and a plate.

he came to your side of the bed, placed the cup and plate down, and looked at you.

“how are you feeling?”

he was caring, soft in his question. definitely not a side of him you ever expected to see. his eyes were sad as he locked in on the bruise that dyed your arm.

“i’m”, you took a deep breath, “well I don’t really know right now.”

he nodded, “that’s understandable.”

he sat on the bed and took a breath, “who the hell was that?”

“my ex-fiancé. he’s been upset ever since I broke up with him a few days before graduation”, you looked away.

“what happened between you?”, he backtracked, “I mean you don’t have to tell me but i’m just a little curious.”

your mouth flashed a small smile; he was starting to soften.

“well let’s just say, he wanted things that I didn’t.”

you weren’t going to get into the fact that he abused you for a year and trapped you in an engagement.

he looked like he understood, like he had been in the same place before. you wondered if that was his ‘move’ with girls, or if he really was connecting with you on some level.

“that’s awful. i’m so sorry that this happened to you”, he placed a hand on yours.

you both took a breath. the energy sparking at your fingertips. you looked up to meet jake’s eyes.

god, you forgot how beautiful he was.

it was like magnets. like electricity flowing through both of us, pulling us together. could he feel this? did he feel you like you were starting to feel him?

he realized and moved his hand, standing up with a slight laugh and smile.

“I, uh, brought you some toast and juice just in case you woke up hungry.” he rubbed his hands together and turned, “so, i’ll leave you to get your rest then.”

you realized then that it was 2 am and quiet.

“where’s the band?”

he looked back and leaned up against the wall. “oh yeah. I cancelled practice for tonight”, he saw you smirk in his peripheral vision, “but tomorrow’s practice is still on.”

his tone was semi-annoyed.

“just admit it”, you prodded, “you can be flexible. why don’t you practice in the day like normal people?” you really did want to know that.

“well, missy”, he began.

his tone ignited a growing fire between your legs. fuck, you wanted him.

he continued, “it’s because we all have jobs and money to make. you think we get all these badass guitars and speakers with daddy’s money? we’ve put in a hell of a lot of work into making our dream a reality. besides, once we hit it big, you won’t have to worry about hearing our music from next door”, he leaned his hands down onto the bed, coming close, “because we’ll be on the radio.”

his hair fell perfectly in front of his face, rich brown and wavy.

you still couldn’t believe how hot he was.

you two were close. very close. you could almost feel his breath on your cheek. you swallowed thickly, trying to hold onto your composure.

he smirked and backed away, starting out of the room. but you couldn’t let him leave without asking him the one thing on your mind.

“why did you do that?”

you couldn’t help that you were curious.

“do what?”

“punch tanner”, you explained, “I mean, you didn’t have to help me. you could’ve just ignored the sounds in the hall and chalk it up to someone else’s problem.”

his eyes were serious as he lingered for a second to look at you. he took a breath, his mouth biting the inside of his lip nervously.

he hesitated, “i’ve seen things like that happen to people that I love. i’ve never stood for it and knew I needed to help.” he shrugged, “simple as that.”

you could feel there was more. he was holding back but you couldn’t tell what.

still, you let him go.

just as he reached the door, he turned his head and whispered, “let me know if that bastard ever fucking touches you again.”

oh.

you don’t think he meant for you to hear that.

he exited and closed the door without another sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you had faked sleep the rest of that night.

what the fuck had just happened?

so you weren’t being completely delusional?

no. no. no.

you had to stop convincing yourself that he liked you in any way. he was a man; men will flirt with a wall and hope they get lucky.

although, he was undeniably sweet by himself.

no. no. no.

get ahold of yourself.

you were still lost in thought when your alarm went off.

you pulled yourself out of bed and your own mind as you went to collect your shoes. you were still fully clothed in your interview clothes but thankfully jake had taken off your little heels before laying you down in his bed.

your hair was still in the claw clip from yesterday, too. but after a few hours of turning in his bed, it had turned into a wild mess. you took out the clip, laid it on the nightstand, and ran your fingers through your hair.

it desperately needed a wash.

you got it untangled enough for the moment and put on your heels. your shower was calling your name and you needed to get back home.

you left his bedroom, taking in the rest of his apartment. there was a small hallway leading out of his room with other doors leading off. but as you approached the end of it, you saw his living room. there was a couch and a recliner, both a deep shade of red.

jake was asleep on the couch, a big fuzzy blanket covering him from the abdomen down. he was shirtless again, his toned arms crossed under his head to make a pillow for his head to lay on. he looked peaceful, lost in the healing world of sleep.

you held in a laugh, thinking about all the sleep he’s probably missed too, with all his practices.

the room was decently clean, with little messes here and there that you expected from boys. but it wasn’t too bad, and you enjoyed looking at all the art and posters he had on his walls.

most of all though, there were guitars everywhere. one every direction you looked, in fact.

but the thing that caught your eye was peeking out at the farthest corner of the living space.

it was another small room, the inside walls lined with black padding. there was a drum kit, microphone, and even more guitars.

it was a soundproof recording room.

now you were even more pissed at him for all those sleepless nights. he had a solution this whole time? that ass.

suddenly it dawned on you that you were snooping around his house, and you instantly scolded yourself. you turned and saw the front door, starting to tiptoe to it.

you were not even going to look back at jake, knowing you’d probably get lost in a daze looking at him. it should be illegal to look like he did while sleeping.

you unlocked the door and started to open it.

“leaving so soon, huh?” jake was leaning up against the wall by the door. how you didn’t see him, you had no clue. his red plaid pajama pants hung loosely on him, and dangerously low. you felt your eyes get wider and wanted to pinch yourself. “this feels like the morning after a one night stand”, he smirked.

you scoffed, annoyance taking its place back in your voice, “uh huh. as if.”

his eyebrows raised, “as if, huh? i’m just that repulsive? you don’t find me the least bit attractive?”

his voice was laced with sarcasm and the anger against him was in full force again.

“in fact, I do NOT think your the least bit attractive.” you stuck your nose in the air, deep down hoping he didn’t see through you. you really were deeply frustrated with him, but you couldn’t deny how much your body longed for him.

you opened the door, walking the few feet to your apartment, and found the right key.

“your not even gonna thank me for the toast?” you could tell jake didn’t really care about the toast, he just wanted you to inflate his ego by praising him. something you refused to do.

you rolled your eyes, “thank you for the toast”, you groaned, walking into your home.

• • •

ughhhh I can’t get enough of him.

next chapter coming later today… ;)

tag list: @gvfpal @hollyco

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Whispers of Satan

G8: Whispers of Satan

Main author(s): Paul Corfiatis and Kristian Aro

Release date: September 15th, 2009

Version(s) played: Final version (I guess)

Required port compatibility: Boom

Levels: 36 (standard 30 + 2, plus (on ZDoom) two super secret maps, a credits map, and a warp map)

Paul Corfiatis and Kristian Aro, the dynamic duo behind 2002 A Doom Odyssey (well, mostly done by the former) come back to deliver another WAD – Whispers of Satan.

Its story begins in around August 2005, when Kris meets with his buddy in crime, to talk about making a Doom II megaWAD with a couple of super secret, ZDoom-exclusive maps after finishing one of his WADs (Death Tormention 3). The work on this WAD started in October 2006, and it took almost three years to finish.

The WAD’s plot is not really worth talking about since it’s another one of Doom II’s unofficial sequels but not really WADs. On the bright side, at least I can say that it is not as cringy (when it comes to intermission screens at least) as the Doom Odyssey.

Now, when I played the Doom Odyssey, I felt like I played the more polarizing Ultimate Doom with a plot that wasn’t self-aware at all. However, I feel rather optimistic that Whispers of Satan will be better than that over two decades old WAD. So let’s not waste any time, and take a look at it.

I’m surprised how this WAD looks great. Usually, the levels have at least one, great-looking landmark. Not to mention the changing sky and 5 themes across the WAD (not counting the secret levels) that make it not boring for the eye. These themes are:

Techbase,

Techbase with some brick walls,

Plutonia-like,

Plutonia-like with some Hexen elements,

and, of course, hell itself.

Liked the music as well. I’m struggling to find which tracks were the best ones; Base Stalker is definitely at the top, but I am not sure about the rest; maybe Nebula's Keep and Orgolia as well?

Anyway, changing the subject, I don’t really think Satanic Whispering is complicated. Like most of the other WADs with complexity like this one, it has a couple of getting-stuck moments, but besides these, you can go through these levels rather fast without enemies.

There are, however, some questionable decisions. Like, for some reason many of the maps use the rule of two switches AKA there are at least two switches near each other in the copy-pasted areas with (almost always) copy-pasted groups of enemies. These moments feel like a filler, and I think these are mostly related to Paul’s maps. Kristian’s maps do have moments like these as well, but at least he tried to make each of the switches’ routes different from what I can remember.

There are other annoying moments as well; some of them feeling like a fossil of an abomination that refuses to die. Shitty backtracking (like with the case of the red key in Basement Jazz), too dark moments on a map and not being able to return in some cases is one thing, but also bringing back secrets that you have only one chance to reach? Didn’t this shit die years ago?

Also, another icon of shit on MAP30, because why the hell not? Let’s inflate Romero's head’s health as well! What could go wrong?!

sigh

Let’s talk about secret maps for exchange. The first regular one is a homage to Star Wars (the good times when the only thing in this franchise that was mocked and screamed to the heavens by rapid fanboys were prequels), while the second one is a more classic Wolfenstein reference (I don’t have pictures of that map because I don’t want to be marked as a bloody nahtzee dick rider).

There are also three, ZDoom-exclusive maps (technically four but you can only get to the last one by console commands). The first one is Ein Lustiger Ort (a funny place), of which one half is pushing voodoo dummies into teleporters with weapons and running like hell to exit from siege cows, and the other… the other half is… Okay, fellas, remember that... seedy secret in Ultimative Geheimnis? Yeah? Well, the second half (if you want to get to the second, ZDoom secret map) is basically that… sprinkled with impse-

projectile vomiting

Technical problems

Okay, I’m done.

Now, the second ZDoom map is 1994 Revisited, and it’s basically what the title says; it feels like it makes fun of the maps that are stuck in 1994 while also celebrating them. It even ends on another icon of shit… which makes me hate the Verge of Revelation’s icon of shit even more since MAP34 (kind of) makes fun of how the megaWADs end with this crap and yet they still shove one in MAP30! What is this?! Chuck and Doyle: Rabies Ravagers: The Movie?! Did the 2020s use time travel and brainwash the authors that one time?!

Okay, let’s calm down and change the subject because the third ZDoom map is interesting. You have to reach the end of Sintlabs but instead of pressing the exit switch, go back to the starting area and you will find the secret exit that will lead you to Hidden Warp Zone. It all boils down to choosing to end up either in Playgrounds of Caesar or Halls of Cocytus, and that’s it.

Whispers of Satan isn’t really hard. It tends to get tougher in the final third, and it has cheap, if not outdated, moments (pop-up monsters, traps with hitscanners, moments with demons teleporting behind you after being in front of you), but if you are experienced with WADs, you won’t have a bigger problem with this one; there is no slaughter map around there.

There is, however, an interesting part of Undervilla, with Mancubi behind walls, and while it is yet another bullshit difficulty bump that I’m surprised is still used, I can’t get myself to hate it because it references to Hexen, where the trap walls with the same texture started firing projectiles. It’s kind of funny, not gonna lie.

There is also… uhm… a new enemy if you can call it that… It’s called Cybie… has a higher pain chance than cyberdemon… and has different sound effects… And I refuse to talk about it more because I feel dirty even thinking about it.

I don’t know if this is a bug or something, but in the icon of shit area in 1994 Revisited, half of a time, the crushers that were supposed to destroy Romero's head didn’t work. Maybe it’s related to the red area near the teleporter that takes you to the icon of shit area, but I’m not entirely sure.

Overall, Whispers of Satan is a pretty good WAD. It does feel archaic in places, copy-pasted switch areas feel like a joke, and there are still fragments of problems that plagued Doom Odyssey, but still, it is a better WAD than the authors’ 2002 project.

The next WAD on the list is Demons of Problematique 2. Let’s hope we won’t end up with another Cheogsh 2 fiasco.

[jmagnabo92]

WSB - Ch 6: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Happy Prongsfoot Wednesday from the Island of St. Lucia!

James finds himself annoyed when Sirius seemingly throws ice water on their sexual activities until an overdue chat with Sirius at least lets him see part of the issue.

AO3

***

October 15th, 1983

        James is disgruntled, again, as he watches the ‘mummy and me’ group have their little outing (of which Sirius is somehow the head ‘mum’ by organizing everything and making sure things run smoothly).  Although he’s happy that Sirius is so eager to be such a good parent, he can’t help being annoyed with him as he’d been all week.

        Despite what happened the previous Saturday (before and after) their theater date, which James had been all excited to tell Christine and Jackie about, nothing had happened since.

        Even though he had continued to wear sexy panties, some that showed far more of him than he should.  Even though he whispered to Sirius what he was wearing all the time.  Even though he’d begun telling him all of his fantasies whenever he didn’t get the attention he wanted.  None of it mattered.  

        Sirius had completely avoided any mention whatsoever about what happened the previous Saturday, had not reacted to James’ sexy panties that he continued to wear and had barely even kissed him in the last week.  Hadn’t he enjoyed himself?  Doesn’t he want to do it, again?  

        “You’re brooding, again,” Jackie states.  “And you’re still starting at his arse.”

        James frowns, “I’m not brooding.  I just – it’s just… we were making great progress and now all of a sudden, he just doused ice water on us.”

        “Because you two are that hot together?” Christine teases.  

        James gives her a look.  “It certainly feels that way to me.”

        “It sounded pretty hot to me,” Jackie agrees.

        “Thank you,” James grins.  “But seriously, the lingerie worked so well … as soon as I put it on that happened and then, starting the next day, he’s acting like nothing happened or he doesn’t want it to happen, again.”

        “I doubt that he doesn’t want it to happen, again.  It’s far more likely that he just gave in to his … desires… and then felt guilty because he broke that whole go slowly thing,” Christine explains.

        James frowns.  That is true.  They skipped a few steps for sure, but it’s not like James minded at all.  In fact, they’d been together for three months, now, surely by now it would be okay to do more than snogging.  

        “It just doesn’t make sense.  It’s not like we have to go slow, besides we’ve been together for months – I just don’t get it.”

        “He wants to go slow,” Jackie states.  “So, yes, you have to – it’s a respect thing.  He obviously has a reason.”

        “Yeah, he does, I’m sure.  I just don’t know what it is or what to do.”

        “What if you just try to follow your original plan?” Christine offers.  “You know – you hadn’t meant to skip all of those steps straight to the – er – barely covering you pair, so maybe back it up a bit.”

        “She’s got a point, plus there’s the need to still date him and treat him like we talked about before your little break from the plan,” Jackie offers.

        They have a point, James knows.  

        “So, I should just backtrack?  Go back to what it was before?” James questions, glumly.

        “It might be disappointing, but obviously if he’s avoiding talking about it…” Christine offers.

        “Yeah, obviously he’d prefer backing it up.”

        “I do think that maybe you should talk to him about it,” Jackie offers.  “Obviously, something happened, and you should talk about it if you don’t want the issue to fester.”

        James nods, “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t just brood.  Maybe make a special dinner or something and just talk it over.”

        “And maybe give him a present,” Jackie offers.  “A non-sexual one.  One that shows you know him well.”

        James nods, “And maybe that’ll get him to talk.”

        “It’s possible.”

***

        Sirius knows James rather well.  So, it isn’t a surprise to him to notice that James is clearly upset or bothered that after what happened the previous Saturday.  It’s completely fair considering that Sirius had basically thrown ice water on their sexual activities since he’d barely even kissed him all week.  

        He felt guilty about giving into his desires when he knows that James just isn’t ready for this, especially given that he sort-of compares their relationship to his and Lily’s, and that’s why he had chosen to rectify it on Sunday by backing off.  

        He hadn’t even intended to back off until James had mentioned Lily on Sunday (how she had never liked the idea of special sexy underwear, but clearly Sirius does).  It just reminded him that James is clearly still about Lily even when he’s with Sirius and his own guilt over the situation.  Every time James mentions Lily (specifically with regards to their relationship), he just keeps thinking about how he wouldn’t be with James right now if she were still here.  Besides that, he feels guilty that his best friend died and he’s now with her husband that he’d been fancying the entire they were together.  

        He can’t help wondering how she’d feel about it.  Would she be angry?  Betrayed?  Would she think he had taken advantage of James somehow?

        It just filled his veins with ice water and so, no matter how much he wanted to do it, again, especially given James’ attempts to get some sort of reaction out of him all week, he had to keep true to the plan.  He had to back off and keep things nice and slow.  Stop thinking about his underwear or the way he looks when he’s getting off and focus on just being a family with him until they’re both passed the Lily issue in their relationship.

        Thus, he couldn’t give in to his desires.  If he gave in, again, he’d likely screw this whole thing up, even more than already has, and he couldn’t do that.  So, instead, he had to put on the breaks.

        Although, he knew eventually that they’d have to talk about it and considering that James had asked him to take Harry out of the house so that he could set up a surprise, he knows that James clearly wants to talk about it, too.  Likely after whatever surprise he has planned.  

        Somehow, Sirius would make it up to him.  Maybe buy him something special while he and Harry are out?  Certainly, couldn’t hurt.

***

Since he wanted to surprise Sirius with a special dinner, James told him to take Harry out for a bit – a walk or playing at the playground – it didn’t matter, as long as James got to set up a special dinner date that Harry’s actually invited to, as well.  

        James had set up the table with a fancy tablecloth, a rose in a small vase, and a candle to make it a bit more romantic.  He puts on some soft dinner music and places the gift at the end opposite Harry’s spot.  

        Noting that the dinner he cooked: homemade pasta with meat sauce and meatballs, and the added garlic bread is just about done, he begins to plate it.        

Just as he finishes his efforts, Sirius and Harry come running in the door.  

        “Perfect timing,” James grins.  “Dinner just finished.”

        Sirius looks surprised at the dinner, “This looks – er – dinner date like.”

        James grins, “That was the goal.  Thought we were due for one.  Do you like it?”

        Sirius smiles, “Love it, let us get cleaned up.”

        James nods and it doesn’t take more than a few minutes before Sirius returns with Harry and kisses James’ cheek.  “Looks delicious, Jay.”

        “Thanks, dig in.”

        Sirius takes a bite of his food.  “And tastes delicious, too.”

        James chuckles, “You can’t be surprised, I’ve cooked dinner off and on since …” he pauses.  He doesn’t want to bring up Lily’s death, especially with it coming up so soon.  His heart still aches when he thinks about her and being with Sirius, now.  

        Sirius clears his throat and reaches across the table to grab James’ hand to squeeze it quickly.  “It’s okay… I wasn’t thinking when I was teasing you, but of course, you’ve gotten really good at cooking.”

        James smiles, “I couldn’t just let you do all of the cooking.”

        Sirius chuckles, “Why?  You don’t enjoy my cooking?”

        “No, I do.  You’re fantastic,” James grins.  “I just like learning to cook because I get to pull my weight – I’m glad you let me after my first few bad attempts.”

        Lily had never let him cook after his first attempt had been a terrible surprise date.  Sirius, on the other hand, had been very patient with him when he first attempted to make him something, only for it be half burned and half uncooked (he’d attempted some steak and potatoes – the steak was burned, and he had mashed the potatoes before they were fully cooked).  James had wanted it to be something of a treat for Sirius since it had been the first time in weeks that he had had an entirely good day – all of his days before that had gone from good to bad or bad to good, but luckily, Sirius hadn’t been upset.  Instead, he had smiled and offered to help him cook something else.

        After that, Sirius had decided to include James in cooking tasks if he could and James had slowly cooked better.  He liked Sirius’ method better than Lily’s method, which had been to ban him from the kitchen.  Although he continually broke that ban in an attempt to prove that he could do better.

        “Of course I did,” Sirius smiles.  “You seemed like you wanted to learn and…” he trails off, possibly attempting to avoid mentioning Lily.  

        James nods.  “I did want to learn.  I’d been disappointed when Lily had banned me from the kitchen.  You, on the other hand…” he smiles at him and clears his throat.  “Anyway, I’m glad your efforts in teaching me paid off.”

        Sirius smiles.  “They certainly did.”  Then he looks around at all of the décor, and adds, “And I enjoy your efforts at trying to make an at home date with our kid.”

        “Glad you like it,” James says, as finishes his dinner and focuses on helping Harry, who has made a complete mess of his plate and himself.  “Although maybe something messy with sauce might not have been the best choice for Harry.”

        Sirius chuckles, “He’s just excited to make a mess of his food.  Aren’t you, Harry?”

        “I like mess!” Harry gleefully yells.

        “Yes, but you also need to eat,” James tells him.  Encouraging him to finish his pasta.

        “Someone’s going to need a bath tonight,” Sirius adds.

        “Yay, bubbles!”

        James laughs.  “He’s the only kid that enjoys baths.”

        “It’s because we make it fun – all those magical toys: boats, fish, squid, etc.  He enjoys bath time when it’s fun,” Sirius smiles.  “And I know we probably shouldn’t bribe him with toys, but it does make it easier.”

        “I agree,” James offers.  “We’ll clean him up together later.”

***

        After they give Harry his bath and put him to bed, James follows Sirius towards the sitting room still fully clothed.  If he’s going to address what happened, then he needs to not hint what-so-ever that he’s angling for more tonight.  

        Sirius sits on the couch, like normal, while James goes to get his present.  Then, he joins him, but doesn’t cuddle up against him.  “I have something for you.”

        Sirius smiles, “You’re spoiling me.”

        “You can’t be surprised,” James states.  “I love gift giving especially when it comes to my partner.”  He laughs.  “I mean, I spoiled Lily like crazy and I spoiled you as my friend, now that you’re my boyfriend… you’re lucky I don’t give you a gift every day.”

        “Maybe someday you’ll get me a gift every day that isn’t wrapped,” Sirius teases as he opens the present.  Inside is a book of one thousand crossword puzzles.  “Oh, Jay.  This is –”

        “Completely you?” Jay questions, smiling.  “I thought you might like more puzzles than our daily paper puzzle.”

        Sirius gives him a kiss.  “I do.  I also bought something that I thought might interest you while I was out with Harry.  Although I didn’t wrap it.”  He reaches behind him to offer a smaller book and hands it to him.

        James looks down and reads, ‘Sudoku Puzzles’.  “Sudoku?  What’s that?”

        “It’s related to numbers.  It’s a different puzzle that I thought you might enjoy since you like numbers,” Sirius explains.  “It’s only a small book with ten puzzles, I figured if you like it, I could buy more.”

        James smiles, “I love it.  Might give us something to sort of do together after we put Harry to bed and before we go to bed ourselves.  You always like to do your crosswords at that time.”

        Sirius gives him a smile, “I didn’t even realize that you noticed.”

        “I notice everything about you,” James grins, steeling himself to talk to Sirius about what happened last week.  “And – er – there is something that I was hoping to talk to you about that I noticed…”

        Sirius sighs.  “It’s about last week, right?”

        “Yes,” James states.  “I just don’t understand what happened.”

        “What happened is that I shouldn’t have given into to my desires,” Sirius states.  “It was … I had been thinking about you in the sexy underwear – any type really – for weeks ever since I knew you bought them, and I let my lust guide what happened before and after our date.”

        “And what’s wrong with that?” James questions.  “You wanted it, I wanted it… why can’t we continue?”

        Sirius shakes his head, “Because I’m trying to keep things slow.”

        “And … that’s not slow enough?  We’ve been together for three months.”

        “Just trust me, please,” Sirius begs.  “I know you don’t understand why I’m insisting on this, but there’s a reason and it’s important.”

        James nods.  He knows Sirius well enough to know that if he’s insisting on this slow take this much that it’s obviously important especially given that it clearly has nothing to do with not wanting to have sex with him.  

        “Okay – I get that it’s not because you don’t want it, but can’t you tell me what it is?”

        Sirius sighs, and looks like he doesn’t quite want to answer, but after a minute says, “I feel guilty.”

        “Guilty?” James questions, feeling confused.  What would Sirius have to feel guilty about?”

        “Yes – I – it’s just that I have fancied you since we were fourteen,” Sirius states.

        “Yeah, and?”

        “And you married my best female friend,” Sirius states.  “And you would still be married to her if things had been different.”

        James frowns.  While true, that still doesn’t explain why Sirius would feel guilty, if anything James should feel guilty for putting him in that position (even if he didn’t know).  “I – I still don’t understand.”

        Sirius shakes his looking away.  “I feel like I – I am betraying her somehow, like I took advantage of her being gone to be with you –”

        “That’s not true!  Lily loved you, she’d never –” James interjects.

        “I know she did, and I loved her,” Sirius interrupts, “But as irrational as it might be, I – I have to work through it before we go any further.  Understand?”

        James sighs, “Alright, I do understand.  It’s just… after all that, last week…”

        “I know,” Sirius says, sadly.  “One step forward, two steps back.  But honestly, it really is just best for us to pretend that didn’t happen.”

        James frowns.  He had been thinking about that night for a while and he didn’t want to forget about it.  

        “Oh, don’t frown.  It won’t be so bad to back it up a bit,” Sirius offers.  “Taking things slowly can be a lot of fun.”

        “Er – well, it’s just… I’ve been thinking about it a lot, you know?” James questions.  “It just felt so good even though it was wanking – something I’ve done to myself for ages – but with you and – and the whole listening to you and dancing thing…”

        Sirius nods, “I have, too, honestly.”

        “So, maybe you could tell me about – about the whole… ordering me around thing?” James asks, uncertainly.  “I mean, maybe it’s too soon to ask, but it was hot. And I – er – I was hoping… for fantasy purposes if I only have my hand for a little while…”

        Sirius laughs.  “I probably shouldn’t tell you, but … yes.  I do like doing that with my partners and giving them lots of praise.”

        James grins.  Good, something to look forward to.  “Sounds good, then.”

        Sirius gives him a kiss.  “It’s very good, but now, since we’re calming things down, maybe we should just hang out together tonight, and maybe do our new puzzles?”

        “Only if we get to take kissing breaks,” James smiles.  “That’s still allowed, right?  Even as you work through everything?”

        Sirius nods.  “Deal.”

[in-amor-veritas]

but before i go enjoy part of this little scene i started for chp4 of divorce fic. the imagery made me giggle

obvs very rough and unedited and I was going to change the conversation to make David seem less oblivious but the idea is that he can tell there underlying sexual tension between them so he’s meddling lol blah blah and both of them being super petty and pissy that eventually was gonna lead to them being horny and petty and pissy

______

Wille bites his lip and sighs looking at the alarm on the bedside table. He’s got about an hour before Simon said to meet, which he agreed to for some reason instead of just insisting that Simon come here on his own.

After all it’s none of his business if the hotel staff misplace the wallet. Simon shouldn’t have left it in the first place. He’s an adult and it’s not Wille’s responsibility to look after his things. Simon isn’t Wille’s responsibility anymore. They might be married still on paper but it doesn’t mean anything.

The more he thinks as he finally drags himself off the mattress and starts to rummage around for something acceptable to wear, the more annoyed he becomes. So what if Simon is going out of town and doesn’t have time to come and get it, he obviously had time to go to dinner with a friend, you’d think he could have been the one to change his plans to come get his own fucking wallet instead of insisting Wilhelm come to his beck and call. Sure Wille probably needed to get out to find something to eat anyway and maybe he didn’t have any plans in the first place because he’s here on his own until tomorrow and doesn’t even know anyone but still.

He’s grumbling under his breath as he throws on something chic and low effort, annoyed as he grabs the camel overcoat and stuffs his AirPods and tablet into his bag.

Of course the weather is shit too, rainy, dark, gloomy and oppressive. The people on the street look miserable and gray and Wille curses the city as he backtracks for an umbrella. He doesn’t really have the right to complain considering Sweden is dark and frozen for the majority of the year, but he does anyway because he can.

The pin that Simon has sent him turns out to be a pub close to Piccadilly Circus, with large glowing letters with the name of the venue and fairy lights strung up in the windows along with a tacky plethora of rainbow flags.

Hes on his way in at the same time a man is on the way out, muscular, bald in a too tight fitting tshirt. Wille sidesteps him, going inside and ignoring the obvious way he stares after him before stepping onto the street.

Places like this make him itch. It’s cramped, dark and most of the patrons are scanning the thin crowd with hungry eyes that makes him feel like he’s on display somehow.

Looking around he finally spots Simon, spots him because of his curls, halfway hidden behind the muscle of a dark-skinned man who is leaning towards him.

They each have a drink on the table in front of them, Simon a soft drink judging by the look of the glass and the stranger a pint of something amber.

Wille steps toward them and sees Simon laugh at something muscular stranger says, putting a hand on his arm and then it clicks.

Did Simon actually force him to come meet him on a date?

Did he really make it Wilhelms job to return his left possessions to him on his own terms because he had a fucking date?!

He’s seething. They literally hooked up yesterday and Simon left to go on a date and now he has another? Is it even the same guy?

Hastening his steps he finds himself making a direct beeline for the table, seeing the moment Simon notices him, the way he pauses mid-sentence, looking up.

Fishing out the wallet Wille gets to the table and drops it there with a loud thunk causing muscle boy to jump slightly, snapping his attention to him.

“There you go. The wallet you left in my hotel room after we fucked.” Wille turns to the other man and sees with annoyance that he’s actually very well dressed and extremely handsome. “Hi I’m Wilhelm. His husband.”

Simon looks like he’s about to spit out his drink, choking and covering his mouth as he starts coughing.

Meanwhile, muscular (stupidly handsome) stranger’s eyes widen, the most incredulous grin spreading slowly over his lips as he leans back and stares looking between them.

“What the fuck is your problem Wille?!”

“Well right now my problem is you expecting me to run behind you because you can’t be bothered to change your plans.” He narrows his eyes, crossing arms over his chest.

Simon’s eyes widen, a hand going to his chest, “Excuse me? As far as I remember you volunteered to do that and it's also really funny that you’re calling me your husband now when the whole reason you came to London was to make me sign divorce papers!”

“Which you have been proving to me that you’re refusing to do out of pettiness or something because it’s obviously not stopping you from fucking everyone who looks at you—“

At those words Simon practically jumps out of his seat and across the table, “Shut the fuck up you have no idea what you’re talking about! I went to dinner with my fucking roommate yesterday and this is my friend—“

“Okay boys.” The man next to Simon says loudly, drawing the attention of both of them as he pulls Simon back into his seat by his arm. “Settle it down and play it nice for a bit or we all are getting kicked out.”

They follow his gaze where the bartender is staring at them with a frown and Wille huffs, looking away.

“Alright mate…if you two can be civil for a moment want to join for a couple of bevs…was it Wille? Ouch— did you just kick me”

He blinks down at the other man, grinning at him with a bright smile and pretty eyes. Thinking he’s got to be joking but his expression is steady and friendly and when he looks over at Simon the curly haired man is staring at him like he’s crazy and judging by the way he’s rubbing his shin Simon definitely doesn’t agree.

“Uh…I don’t…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well you came out all the way here ain’t that right Simon?”

“David.” The other man grits out, “did you miss the whole husband thing or…?”

“It’s not everyday that I get to meet someone from Simon’s secret past life, especially not the scandalous way I just met you.” The man, David apparently, laughs. “It’s one drink Simon.”

Simon sits back in his chair, scoffing, crossing arms over his chest and glaring at Wille, who suddenly feels a rush of power at the idea of his presence pissing him off.

“Fine.” Wille says inwardly satisfied at the way Simon’s eyes widen slightly in disbelief. “Since I came all the way out here.”

“All the way out? Your hotel is literally like a ten minute walk from here—“

“Thirteen.” He says pushing back his bangs and hearing David laugh and Simon splutter.

“I’m David.” The man’s grins holding out a hand that Wille stares at for a moment before he withdraws it with a quiet laugh, “I work at Simon’s gym. You know we are just friends right?”

Next to him Simon rolls his eyes, arms still crossed, “Usually that’s when you introduce yourself.” He nags in clipped Swedish.

“Oh really? I had no idea.” Wille snaps back, their eyes meeting. Something passes between them, frustration, arousal, to be honest he can’t tell the difference when it concerns Simon sometimes.

I’m taking indefinite break from tumblr and yr spaces. I don’t like what this place has become. Have a great one y’all 🫡 maybe ill be back maybe not we will have to see if I can get excited about writing for this anymore idk 💜 it’s a shame bc I still love yr and omar and edvin so much but it’s just a very strange atmosphere here now. hoping for the best for you

[emrauta]

Panic! At The Yoga Studio

I spent the hour-long yoga class losing a fight to anxious and intrusive thoughts. I’m no yogi, but even I know that’s fairly counterintuitive to the whole mindful, meditative thing yoga preaches. Let me backtrack— 

I get to the gym 34 minutes before yoga starts, so that I can get a quick wam-up workout in. I have the entire timeline mapped out in my head— bench press and dumbbells until I break a sweat, cool down for an hour with yoga, and finally hit the sauna for 20 minutes (although perhaps stay a bit longer if my book gets exciting). At the risk of sounding like I’m gloating, I wholeheartedly believe I’ve crafted the perfect plan to reduce any wasted time during my two hours at the gym.

After a good-enough lift (for me, anyway), I rush up the stairs— two at a time— so that I can secure a prime mat spot in the back of the yoga studio. I approach the desk in the hallway to check in:

“Hi, I’m here for yoga. My name is—”

“It’s full.”

“Oh, but I reserved a spot online yesterday. I have a reservation.”

After a caricature of an eye-roll, the employee launches into a whole speech about how I clearly don’t read my e-mails, and if I did, I would know that I have to come to yoga 15 minutes before class starts, otherwise they reserve the right to give my spot to someone on the waitlist. She then turns to her friend and mutters something about how it’s annoying that she has to explain something so obvious. Her attitude was so egregious that a part of me thought I was being pranked, and I wondered if I turned around there would be someone secretly filming me.

My Midwest conditioning kicks in; I smile, apologize, and say, “No worries, I understand. Sorry again.” 

I head back to my cubby, but as I do I pass the yoga studio. I peek in. There’s room, and, surprising myself, I walk in with a fuck-it energy I seldom possess and close the door behind me. I place my mat down next to the door before anyone can stop me, doing my best to maintain some semblance of normality. 

“Alright class, let’s begin.”

And that’s when the wave of anxiety and guilt crashes down on my sandcastle of swagger. I start to worry about breaking the rules, and I have to incessantly remind myself that the workers don’t actually care about the rules— they don’t get paid enough to care.

I make eye contact with the yoga teacher. Yes, the one I have a crush on. A new wave builds in the ocean of doubt; I think she knows I’m not supposed to be here. I’m blocking the door. I’m intruding. Maybe she didn’t want me here in the first place. Maybe she told the desk workers to not allow me in, and to pretend that the class is full.

The wave crashes. I look around and realize I’m the only one not in chair pose.

A new wave crests in the abstract. If I was beloved— say, I was someone like Casey Neistat— and everyone knew who I was and liked me and desired my presence, I wouldn’t have this problem. I start to convince myself that all of this— the anxiety and guilt and self-loathing— it’s all a perception thing. If I’m popular, I can strut in late and everyone thinks, “Oh, I’m glad he made it, I was starting to worry something happened. Welcome! Thanks for still making time for us in your busy schedule.” 

But if I’m hated? Instant bias. “Of course he shows up late. Always inconveniencing everyone around him. God, I hate him. No, there’s no room for you. Get out.”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but instead find myself suddenly swept under the darkest wave of them all, tumbling into the abyss, the deep-down truth crushing me with its infinite weight:

I am not a figure. I am not an admired celebrity, nor a notorious character in the lives of others. Instead, I am a nobody. And even though I’ve just been drenched and beaten by a storm of anxiety about what everyone thinks of me— the whole time simultaneously fantasizing about what I desperately want them to think of me— the fear, which I fear is not actually a fear but a reality I’ve done my best to ignore, that hits hardest is that no one actually thinks about me at all.

[startselectscreen]

My Game of the Year 2022

10. Old World

From the developers of Civilization 4, comes this one which compassess how addictive and fun that game was and multiply the number of hours spent playing this game. It meets Civilization with Crusader Kings with its heritage tree, having some political aspect to it.

9. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet

Another Pokemon game that I’m interested in, its a shame that the framerate chugs throughout the game, performance wise but man I still love Pokemon. I do find it weird that the mount that they give us looks like a bike with a Pokemon living in it and Pokemon centers are like sizable kiosks that contain a center, a shop where you can buy items and ™ shop where you acquire crafting items from defeated Pokemon and League Points . Anyways, the UI like Archeus is clean and simple and the open world aspect is atmospheric. I do love that you can do gyms at any order since it scales with your level. Titan hunting and raid bases from Team Star is fine, each to its own right. These two new features at the start feels frustrating due to its difficulty with Titans and Raid bosses having life bars and with titans you live to defeat them twice, granted later on it's pretty easy to defeat them.  The terastablize feature is like from Sword which can use to empower your Pokemon but you can only use it once and it recharges when you go to the Pokecenter. 

8. Tunic

Tunic manages to exceed my expectations, the exploration and music does a great job to immerse yourself into this game. Even if there’s not much of a story, it just compels the player on its other aspects of enjoying this game. It may be an insult or compliment to compare this to Zelda or any Souls game but the spirit of this game is really Zelda-like and Tunic was once called “Zelda like a Fox” before the game came out. To that end, this game is a wonderful and enjoyable experience to had by all

7. WoW Wrath of the Lich King Classic

This expansion of a well-loved MMO is considered my favourite, it basically continues where we left off in Warcraft 3 and its expansion, The Frozen Throne and focuses on the Lich King and your journey to Northrend. The leveling can take awhile to cap but the quests and the scenarios as you progress with leveling is interesting and while you still get that same old pop culture reference that Blizzard’s been keen on doing, it is still enjoyable to the very least.

6. Pokemon Legends Arceus

Arceus is still an enjoyable game withstanding its core frustrations, the game is like a open world Safari Zone from its base games but no movement restrictions required. It’s fun trying to catch more Pokemon to achieve more research tasks and getting more stars that your Pokemon will obey you at any level. Being a standalone game, it feels like a breath of fresh air to just catch Pokemons like its slogan.

5. Persona 5 Royal (PC/XBS/X)

This port of a game that came out a few years ago is now on recent consoles is very fun indeed. You play as a character nicknamed Joker, part of the Phantom Thieves which is a group of students who steal hearts or change their ways by staging grand heists and taking their most prized treasures. As a JRPG, much like its previous game is fun, tons of Social Links/Confidants to Max out that will help level your Personas with its interesting parde of characters that you’ll get to love and enjoy.  The palaces where you infiltrate are kinda difficult with a lot of backtracking through simple puzzles tends to be annoying but its satisfying in its own right.

4. God of War Ragnarok

I wasn’t sure to add this on my list since I didn’t complete this game but the hours spent playing this warrant it. It just amazes me how fun this action game really is. I mean, sure there aren't many subtle changes since the previous game but it is still enjoyable with Kratos just hurting a bunch of his enemies. Just beating the living shit out of mythical creatures and Gods is so satisfying when played right.

3. Sifu

Sifu is basically a love-letter to movies featuring martial arts, it’s not intended on its accuracy on what it portrays, it's a kung-fu game that a French studio, Slowmo had made. The story starts as a simple revenge tale, your “sifu” (master) gets killed before your eyes and you get revenge by finding those who killed him. The certain vibe of this game feels cool through the techno beats of the club to the first stage and the museum level where it becomes that scene from “OldBoy”. It is a fun yet challenging beat-them-up that makes you think twice before playing. The combat is difficult and what keeps the momentum coming is how you learn from each mistake, everytime you either age up to giving up and doing it all over again. It sure is a love letter to kung -fu movies but disappointing is the voice acting not being authentic. It was also criticized by its Chinese aesthetic as some complained about its accuracy but it doesn’t seem intended to be it. Each level is unique in its own way and it just gives a vibrant and rich experience. 

2. Weird West

Coming from the makers of Dishonored, raised my eyebrow, as a top-down Wild West fantasy shooter. It was tempting at first to dismiss the game, it felt terrible and the controls and the camera felt flimsy at best but as I continued on playing it, I had a blast. This game is very underrated, few had played this game and talked about it but there’s alot to talk about with this game.

1. Triangle Strategy

Triangle Strategy plays out like a traditional tactics game, it lays out like a grid-based RPG that familiarizes a mix of tactical strategy and role playing aspects into a pretty aesthetic. To call this similar to Final Fantasy Tactics is a disservice to how unique a tactics game this is. To that end, it is nice to play another one of these games and plus its replayability entices you into playing it even after you have beaten the game which is 50 hours long. Fans of the genre should seriously get this game, whether you like Final Fantasy Tactics, Fire Emblem or any tactics game similar to this, the game mixes a grid, tactical base strategy with great roleplaying aspects provided to its fullest extent. Artdink really outdid themselves with this game, it is just incredible. Withstanding the visual graphics, it is recommended to everyone who is looking for a tactics game or any game at all that contains role-playing elements to it. Plus the game is basically Game of Thrones in a tactical, JRPG.

[y-umiko]

“I’m Just Using Her”

CHARACTERS: Shuji Hanma

WARNING/S: Language

"Do you like her?"

Hanma didn’t know what prompt Kisaki to ask him that, the said male never showed any interest in his past relationships, hell anything in his life. thinking Kisaki was just being annoying he reluctantly answered him a resounding;

"No"

Not hearing a heartbreak at the denial, saying he didn’t like you even one bit came out his mouth without a thought, cause that’s what you are to him. a way to get revenge to Draken, your older brother. he’ll court you, make you like him, then break your heart. he was so sure it would hurt and make Draken angry to the point of going out of control. 

Hanma was actually confused why Kisaki was questioning him, after all, it was all his plan, make Hanma approach you, befriend you, date you so they can get to Draken and get rid of him once and for all. at first, he find it such a drag, going into a tedious plan like that when he actually preferred the thrill of all-out fighting but after Kisaki made a point and reassured him that the outcome would surely entertain him, he agreed. 

Courting was an indifferent thing for him, but as usual, Kisaki had made it possible for him, having a group of delinquents to corner you and had Hanma right at the same place and the same time to save you, insisting you repaid him back with a meal which you agreed, Afterall, debt should always be paid, and just like that you were caught in their trap. 

Hanma was very patient in courting you, spending his free time with you almost every single day, from walking you to the train station, to accompanying you to buy some stuff, even bringing you an umbrella one time you have forgotten to bring one, and little by little he got to know you. you were more amusing than anything he had seen and known. you were just a part of the plan yet when you agreed to go out with him, his heart swelled.

When Draken found out you’ve been going out with Hanma, he confronted you about it, even catching you in the act as you and Hanma had gone out to eat some ice cream. Hanma has a grin on his face, ready for another fight with Draken but when you stood up for him, defending him against your own brother, He didn't know what to feel. 

“Do you love her then?” Kisaki further asked with narrowed eyes, Hanma blinked at him, huffing a puff of smoke and exhaling it before casually answering. 

"No...I'm just using her"  He said with an insistent tone, yet somehow it tasted bitter coming out his mouth. was it because he remembers your quirky habits, your beaming smile, or the peace of mind you bring him? Without him noticing He began prioritizing you over everything, even forgetting about their plan, maybe that was what urge Kisaki to do what he did. Hanma was so lost in his love that little by little he began changing and that change made him forget just how sly Kisaki can be.

"Good, this won't make me feel bad about this then" Kisaki casually said as he looked past Hanma with a passive gaze prompting him to also turn around making him tense up and feel his heartbreak as he saw you standing there.

Eyes red, tears threatening to fall but you hold your ground. You were strong this way. There was no emotion on your face, normally he can read you like a book, he knows when your sad, when your happy or when your mad, but this time he can't see anything and it frightens him.

“what are you doing here?” he asked instead of words comfort that he had intended to say, but it was already too late to backtrack now so he went with it.

your eyes shifted looking anywhere but him, "you texted me to come here” your voice quivering since you’re on the verge of tears. Hanma furrowed his eyebrows, with no memory of ever contacting you, then his head snapped to Kisaki who has a glint on his eyes.

“ It’s good to know where I stand” you whimpered, voice shaky as you bowed slightly and turned away, before sprinting away. Hanma can only stare into the space where you were just standing, finding it hard to catch up with what's happening and what he's feeling.

Kisaki had stepped up and placed a hand on his shoulder “Congratulations, you’ve done your part, now stage two of our plan will commence, be prepared” 

was all he said before walking away, leaving Hanma alone letting the shock settle in. realizing he was fucked. 

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin Scar Reveal Part 2(final part)

Merlin tries to pretend nothing happened, Arthur says “that’s stupid.”

Part 1

Merlin’s nightmares last for the rest of the afternoon and extend well into the night. 

The heat certainly doesn’t help, and it takes all of Gaius’ effort to keep his temperature low enough to not boil him from the inside out, but he manages with help from the knights. Mordred and Lancelot refuse to leave the servant’s side of course, but the others loiter in the corridor the entire time, and take turns sprinting to the cold store and kitchens for ice water and cloths.

It was difficult to stand there waiting, being given scraps of information on Merlin’s condition, especially when most of the scraps consist of something along the lines of “Hopefully he’ll snap out of it by the morning.”, which was certainly not helped when the occasional whimper floated out to them from the young servant’s room.

After a few hours, Leon was the one to draw the short straw to go and talk to Arthur. Whilst all of them were mildly miffed that Arthur had pushed Merlin so far, they knew that ultimately, it was all of their faults. All of them had pushed him, and none of them had protected him from being injured in the first place. None of them knew how much he had suffered, was still suffering. Considering Arthur’s... extra feelings for his servant, it was no wonder he’d reacted even worse than the others.

The First Knight agrees to go, knowing he had the best chance of talking some sense into The King, though he refuses to leave until he sees each of the others settle in their beds; it had been a long day, and would likely be an even longer day tomorrow. They all need as much sleep as they can get.

Arthur doesn’t answer when Leon knocks on his door, but the knight lets himself in after a few moment regardless, doing so quietly so as not to startle the man if he was asleep or, more likely, deep in thought.

The King was sat at his desk, chin resting on his hands, and Leon has to stamp down the surge of protective adrenaline in his lungs when he sees the dry tear tracks on the younger man’s face. He doesn’t notice Leon’s presence, not even when he very deliberately clears his throat, so the knight walks over to him slowly, rapping his knuckles harshly on the desk. That finally catches Arthur’s attention, and he looks up with a start, hands reaching for the sword that Leon knows he has hidden under the desk.

The King lets out a deep breath and relaxes back in his seat when he sees that it’s just Leon, hastily wiping his eyes before clearing his throat and looking up with a fake confidence:

“Sir Leon, what can I do for you?”

Leon just raises an eyebrow, but when Arthur holds strong and doesn’t react he lets out a deep sigh and collapses into the seat on the other side of the desk:

“Come on, Arthur. We need to talk about this.”

Arthur gulps, trying to keep his unaffected façade up, but failing and dropping it after only a few moments; something about the soft, overly concerned look Leon was giving him made him want to wrap himself in blankets and sob himself to sleep. He frowns and just about manages to keep the tears in:

“Why wouldn’t he tell me? If not about the physical scars, then about all the times he’s been hurt. Does he not think I would’ve given him time to recover? Or, God forbid, helped him?”

Leon purses his lips slightly in thought, still having to make a concerted effort not to gather The King up in a tight hug as he considers his questions:

“I don’t think it’s about you, Arthur. Merlin is... a private person by nature, and he doesn’t like worrying people. You heard Mordred, he and Lance found out by accident, and even then Merlin tried to keep them away from it as long as possible.”

Arthur stands, the guilt and sadness in his gut now frothing with anger as well. He paces around to the centre of the room and Leon stands to watch him carefully:

“He can say it’s not about me as much as he wants, but I’m The King, Leon,-”

He whirls on the knight, and Leon clenches his jaw, resisting the urge to raise a mocking eyebrow. He knew to expect anger at some point, but that doesn’t mean Arthur was entitled to it:

“-I have a right to know what’s going on in my Kingdom. I should’ve been informed of Nimueh and Morgause’s deaths, I should’ve been informed that Cenred was torturing people for information. How many other countless adventures has Merlin had that have put himself, Me, the Kingdom in danger, simply because he didn’t want people to know much about him?? None of that was his call to make.”

Leon does raise an eyebrow at that, but Arthur was too busy furiously pacing to feel scolded quite yet. The older man crosses his arms and huffs slightly, waiting for The King to calm before responding:

“Be that as it may, that’s not why you’re angry. You can lie to yourself, Arthur, but you can’t lie to me, and you certainly shouldn’t lie to Merlin. If you go to him pretending that you’re angry because he put the Kingdom at risk, and not because you’re heartbroken at him having suffered so much, then he’ll never forgive you. And when you realise that, you’ll never forgive yourself.”

Arthur looks to Leon sharply, but the anger drains from his face within seconds and his whole body sags slightly, the exhaustion of the day having caught up to him. A glance to the now dark window tells him that it’s well into the evening, but he can’t find it in himself to be annoyed at the unfinished paperwork on his desk or the hunger in his stomach from not having eaten since before noon, not when he knows Merlin is being tortured by nightmares and injuries that have long since healed. Injuries that he should never have had in the first place. Leon waits patiently for Arthur to respond:

“I don’t want him to be in pain. I just want to help him.”

His cracking admission has Leon give up on holding himself back, and he strides towards The King to pull him into a tight embrace. Arthur tenses at first, but quickly falls into the older man’s affection, accepting a hug for the first time since he was a child. Leon responds softly, aware that he only had a short time before Arthur pulled away and put his walls back up:

“Merlin’s already in pain, Arthur, but that doesn’t mean we can’t now help him.-”

He feels Arthur nod into his shoulder and squeezes the man tighter for a moment before pulling back, keeping a tight grip on The King’s shoulders:

“Come on, you need to get some sleep.”

Arthur’s tired, longing gaze moves to the paperwork spread haphazardly over his desk, and Leon shakes his head, tugging Arthur’s shoulders so he looks back at him:

“No, work isn’t an option, your mind is not in any sort of state to be productive right now. You’re exhausted, Arthur, a few hours of sleep will do you some good; I hate to say it but The Kingdom won’t stop needing attention whilst we... sort through this, and you’ll need the energy tomorrow.”

Arthur shakes his head, stepping back and rubbing his eyes tiredly as he takes a deep breath and straightens his back. Leon steps back as well, re-introducing the respectful distance that should be between a King and his Knight, waiting for Arthur’s no doubt stoic response:

“The councilmen will survive without me for a day or two, if not then that really should be something I’m made aware of so I can get to replacing them. Merlin and I need to...-”

He cuts himself off and clears his throat:

“-has there been any news? Any change?”

Leon shakes his head, but catches Arthur’s wrist when he begins walking towards the door:

“Arthur. I just about managed to convince everyone else to get some sleep and you need it more than them.-”

Arthur looks back indignantly, failing to portray his Kingly Anger in his exhaustion and looking more like a scolded child:

“-You know I’m right. Get some sleep, Gaius will inform you if anything changes.”

For a moment, it looks like Arthur wants to argue, but he quickly lets out a deep, bone weary sigh, nodding before moving sluggishly towards his bed. Leon nods approvingly, muttering a soft “Goodnight, My Lord” and smiling slightly at Arthur’s hummed response before quietly exiting the chambers.

~

Arthur can convince himself, for a few blissful seconds, that it was all a bad dream when he wakes up the next morning.

His curtains are thrown wide open; the sunlight streams in and forces The young King to groan and roll over, attempting to shield his eyes from the brightness. Merlin’s cheery voice echoes throughout the various chambers:

“Come on, Sire, up and at ‘em!”

Arthur just grumbles a slurred “Fuck off.” before his brain wakes up and he throws himself from the bed, thankfully wearing sleep clothes but only just managing to catch himself on the bedside table before he falls over:

“Merlin!! What the hell are you- are you ok?! Did Gaius say you could get up?!”

Merlin looks back at him with the same disapproving, mocking glare he usually uses in the morning; Arthur is taken aback at the darkness in his eyes. He can’t quite decide if it made it’s first appearance this morning, or if it had always been there and he just hadn’t noticed. He doesn’t know which idea he hates more:

“I’m fine, Arthur, no need to worry about me. And for your information, I’m a fully trained physician, I don’t need Gaius telling me what I can and can’t do.-”

He rolls his eyes and turns to The King’s desk with a huff, gesturing at the mess:

“-It’s flattering that you rely on me so much Arthur, but really, this is ridiculous.”

Arthur is finally broken out of his shocked stupor, shaking his head disbelievingly and taking a few short steps towards his manservant. He goes to yell but quickly backtracks, snapping his mouth shut and taking a deep breath before trying again, softly this time:

“Merlin... we have to talk about yesterday.”

Merlin’s reaction is immediate and harsh. The quill that he had picked up from Arthur’s desk snaps in his sudden tight grip and the tension in his shoulders is painful looking. He freezes for just a moment before forcing himself to relax, casually throwing the broken quill into a waste basket before continuing to organise the desk, refusing to look up at The King:

“No, we really don’t. I’m fine, My Lord.”

The lack of sarcasm or sass in Arthur’s title worries The King greatly, but the way Merlin regains more and more of the tension in his shoulders the closer Arthur walks to him is even more worrying:

“Merlin... look at me.-”

The servant gulps, biting his lip at he stares at the desk for a few more moments before forcing himself to look up. He recoils slightly at the tears in Arthur’s eyes, but doesn’t allow himself to look away. Arthur opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by the door to his chambers opening with a bang as Mordred and Lancelot rush in. They’re both red-faced and panting, speaking at the same time:

“I swear to the Gods if he snuck out of bed to work, I’ll-”

“I apologise My Lord, I don’t suppose you’ve seen-”

They both freeze as they see Merlin stood behind Arthur’s desk, paperwork crumpled in his tight grip and face fallen into a annoyed frown. Arthur throws his hands up, frustrated as he paces and mumbles:

"Just... come in why don’t you. No, don’t worry about knocking just run on in like you own the damn place.”

Lancelot spares him a quick glance but locks the door behind him and crosses his arms like an angry mother as he looks to the irate servant:

“Merlin, we’ve talked about this, you’re meant to take the morning off after a bad night, Gaius says-”

Merlin just rolls his eyes and turns away, interrupting Lancelot’s scolding as he continues to tidy around the room, his annoyance evident in his harsh tone and hurried movements:

“I’m a physician too, and I say I’m fine. I would like to just... get on with things, please.”

Arthur has to stop himself from recoiling at the way Lance and Mordred’s faces fall, the pain and grief sadder than anything he’s ever seen in their expressions before. He takes a moment to think before giving the two of them a pointed look and quietly asking:

“Can you give us a minute?”

Lancelot looks doubtful, but willing. Mordred plants his feet and crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious he has no intention of leaving Merlin’s side; as much as Arthur finds that admirable on a personal level, as King it’s unacceptable. He’s normally not a fan of pulling rank among friends, but maybe that’s because he normally doesn’t need to. Perhaps this whole mess was his fault, Mordred obviously felt so, but Arthur could hardly fix it with them glaring over his shoulder. He raises himself to his full height, a good few inches above Mordred, and uses the tone of voice he normally reserves for particularly difficult councilmen:

“You forget whose presence you are in, Sir Mordred, you’d do well to remember again. You are both dismissed.”

Mordred’s eyes go wide and he takes in a sharp breath, but after a quick glance to Merlin’s turned back he dutifully bows and walks from the room stiffly. Lancelot’s postures straightens as well, and he follows Mordred after a confident:

“We’ll be in Gaius’ chambers should you require anything, My Lord.”

Merlin was oblivious to the conversation, though Arthur reckons he was deliberately ignoring it as opposed to being actually unaware, especially with the way the servant’s shoulders relax when the door shuts behind the second knight.

Arthur sighs as Merlin continues to putter around the room, refusing to look him in the eye; he leans against the edge of the desk and crosses his arms:

“Merlin,-”

His voice is soft, but the servant still doesn’t look at him, giving a non-committal hum as he clears out the hearth with shaking hands:

“-come here, please.”

Merlin freezes for just a moment, and if the problem wasn’t so glaringly the context of the situation, Arthur may have been able to fool himself into believing that Merlin was just shocked he said please. The younger man stands slowly, turning to walk towards Arthur with his gaze stuck to the floor. He stops with about five feet of space between them and Arthur sighs again, closing the gap until only a few inches separates them. The King ignores the tears gathering in both of their eyes as he lifts a hesitating hand, dropping it softly on Merlin’s shoulder only when the servant doesn’t flinch away:

“Merlin, I... you mean a great deal to me, and I know I don’t say that often enough, or at all, really. You... look after me, keep me alive and unhurt, evidently more than I had originally thought. You make me a good King, and a better man.-”

Merlin looks up at him sharply and Arthur can tell that he’s about to argue, so he squeezes his shoulder and quickly hurries on:

“-You’ve been hurt, you’ve suffered in your service to me, and that’s unacceptable but it’s also my fault; I should’ve made it clear that I would protect you from anything. These scars prove your strength, but I understand not wanting to acknowledge them, so I promise I will never ask again. You tell me when you’re ready, and if that’s never, then that’s completely fine.-”

Merlin seems surprised by the promise, and the tears slowly dripping from his wide eyes just make Arthur regret yesterday even more. After a second or two of shock, Merlin visibly relaxes, relieved with the knowledge that he doesn’t have to expect the conversation that he really doesn’t want to have. Arthur gives him a weak smile before continuing:

“-I’m sorry, but I’m also grateful. Thank you, Merlin. But...-”

Merlin re-tenses at the “but” and Arthur squeezes his shoulder again, giving him what he hopes is a reassuring smile:

“-please don’t keep doing this alone. I... I don’t expect you to ask me for help, though I would drop anything in a heartbeat to keep you safe. Even... even if it’s Gwaine, just... I don’t want you disappearing off to save the Kingdom only to never come back again because no one knows where you are.”

Merlin smiles weakly at the disdain in Arthur’s voice when he mentions Gwaine, but quickly frowns again and looks at the floor. He gaze stays lowered when he asks his one word question, his voice quiet and ragged:

“Anything?”

Arthur frowns for a second, confused about what Merlin was asking, but quickly realises, lifting the other man’s chin with his hand, his voice a whisper:

“Merlin, I would give up the Kingdom to rid you of the burden you’ve place upon yourself. I just want you safe and happy and by my side.”

Merlin once again looks like he wants to argue, but a quiet sob falls from his mouth instead and Arthur, damning the consequences and his stupid reputation, pulls the younger man into a tight hug, cradling his head into his shoulder and running a soft hand up and down his back. A few tears of his own slip free but he finds he doesn’t care that much as Merlin shakes in his arms; he presses a barely-there kiss to Merlin’s temple and begins swaying slightly on the spot, wanting more than anything to take away his servant’s pain.

Merlin’s cries slow to a stop after what feels like hours, but Arthur doesn’t let go quite yet, eyeing the unmade bed over Merlin’s shoulder with eagerness, knowing that neither he nor Merlin had slept well last night. He feels Merlin stifle yawn against his shoulder and that just strengthens his resolve; he squeezes the younger man to get his attention and then speaks quietly:

“Reckon the council can survive without me later?”

Merlin clears his throat and responds, but still doesn’t let go:

“Doubtful, but Leon and Morgana could probably whip them into shape. Why?”

Arthur nods and pulls back, frowning at the slight panic in Merlin’s eyes when he steps away but doesn’t mention it, letting his hand slide down from the servant’s shoulder to grip his hand. Merlin visibly relaxes, but still looks confused as Arthur tugs him towards the bed gently; he allows himself to be pushed to sit on the edge and looks up at Arthur questioningly. The blond stops himself from grinning widely at the trust in his expression, instead turning away to shut the curtains and lock the door as he says:

“Shoes and belt off, I fancy a nap, how about you?”

He was expecting an argument, so he's surprised when he turns back to the bed to see Merlin softly smiling as he sets his shoes and belt on the bedside table neatly. They both climb under the covers wordlessly, and Merlin doesn’t hesitate to curl into Arthur’s side when he holds his arms out to him. 

The King holds his servant close, tucking his head against his chest and burying his chin in his soft hair, his arms wound around Merlin tightly. Merlin closes his eyes without issue, finding himself unafraid of the darkness or the nightmares or the firm touch against his back for the first time since his collection of scars began.

The warrior sleeps, plagued by nothing but pleasant dreams and the warmth of a protection he knows he can trust.

~

THE END!!

That took me FOREVER to write, writer’s block really does suck, but I’m glad I finally got it finished. I feel like it’s a little underwhelming, but I hope y‘all like it :)

@1stbonesfan asked to be tagged! <3

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Tell no lie: it's impossible to lie to your soulmate? :3

Soulmate Prompts

Sentence Starters

(Send one from either/a combo from each!)

--

To be honest, by his forties, Barry had stopped looking for his soulmate. He's got a steady job as a professor in one of Neverwinter's premier universities. He's happy in his apartment a few miles away from school, with the coffee shop nearby, and less noise than other places he's lived. He's got nice neighbors and a nice life. He's secretly becoming a lich using all the available tech he has in the college's lab, but that's not really anything to worry about.

So yeah, he's stopped looking for his soulmate. If fate wanted them to meet, they would.

By happenstance, fate did want them to meet.

Barry didn't even know it, at first. He doesn't run into his coworkers very often unless stepping into the staff room for lunch. But even then, he tends to sit by himself. Not a lot of professors eat in there and if they do, they equally do not want to be bothered. It works out fine.

Until Lup came.

Lup was their new evocation professor. Barry's heard a decent amount about her from college gossip- mostly from his students if he's being honest. She's an elf, three hundred or so, with passion for her job and pretty good charisma.

And she's attractive, is the thing. From Barry's perspective, at least. She comes into the staff room quietly, listening to something with Fantasy Airpods, and holding her lunch. Their eyes met and she offers a smile grin before sitting down across from him. Barry doesn't find himself annoyed, for once.

She pops out one of her earbuds and cracks open her container of pasta. It smells amazing.

"Sup," she says. She's got burn scars over her arms and Barry tries not to let himself stare too much. "I'm Lup, I teach the evocation course, still kinda new. You?"

"Barry," he manages. And then, "Magical theory. It's- it's nice to meet you."

Lup nods and smiles, and puts her airpod back in, ending the conversation. Barry looks down at his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and feels a little embarrassed.

They don't talk very much but it becomes kind of a thing, after that. Barry arrives in the staff room to eat his pathetic lunch, Lup comes in fifteen minutes later with something that smells delicious. They sit and eat until Barry has to go back to class, and Lup occasionally smiles at him.

The third week of them doing this marks the beginning of winter break. Barry's silently mourning the fact that Lup will be gone for three whole weeks, but also silently rejoicing the fact that he'll have the lab to himself for his lich work. He's just stood up when Lup speaks, for the first time since their first day in here together.

"Hey- Barry, right?"

"Yeah," Barry says, trying not to show how ecstatic he was that she remembered his name. "What's up?"

"You doing anything over the break?"

He thinks the words "not really", he really does, but what leaves his mouth is instead,

"Uh, some necromancy and shit, why?"

It takes him a moment to process what he's said and he only really does because of the look on Lup's face. Barry practically tumbles over himself to backtrack.

"I mean- it's- I'm just trying to become a lich, it's not like- fuck, I'm gonna stop talking."

His heart's hammering away, having jumped halfway up his throat in the process. Lup is staring at him and he just grabs his trash and hurries out of the room. He deposits the trash in a trashcan down the hall.

Fuck. Is she going to report him? Necromancy to that degree is illegal, at least in the way it's usually done. Barry had figured out how to become a lich without, y'know, killing anyone, but Lup doesn't know that. Is he going to lose his job? Is he going to go to jail, is the more pressing question, but all he can think about is who he can get to water his house plants-

Lup's in front of him again. She came down without him even realizing, because he was too caught up in what his neighbors would think if he got arrested. She still looks stunned, but recovering amiably.

"Barry-" she says. His legs won't move. "Two questions. First question, very important, I got a theory to prove, uh- ask me something. Like something simple, like how my day was, or what my brother looks like-"

"You have a brother?" Barry asks, momentarily distracted from his panic by the ridiculousness of her question.

Lup opens her mouth to speak, but closes it, looking contemplative, which was weirder than any answer Barry could have predicted. After a moment, she forces out the word,

"Yes?"

And then looks absolutely elated. Before he can question her, she presses on.

"Second- second question! Have you ever- Or, I mean- Okay, there's no nice way to say this, have you ever killed anyone? Or like- ar you planning too? For the lich thing, or. Or y'know, for anything else. Ever kill someone?"

"No!" Barry says quickly. "I'd never, I- I changed the theory- the process of lichdom. It's very, uh. Clean. No murder."

Lup looks like she doesn't know how to feel about that, but she's not running to call the authorities on him, either. She takes a step back and looks at him, really, properly, before nodding.

"Alright," she says, just like that.

"You believe me?" he asks desperately. "Just like that? You're not gonna tell anyone?"

"I'm not gonna snitch on my soulmate, babe, keep up."

Barry blinks at her. She's grinning at him.

"Oh," he says. "I- You must be very glad I'm not a murdered, huh?"

[cdroloisms]

do you have any,,,post prison mute dream stuff??? or like, severely quiet, silent and obedient dream shtuff?? and the consequences thereof??? bc im reading your drabbles and i am in literal awe

aww, thank you so much !! yeah selectively mute dream post prison is absolutely a hc i love and write smtimes - it’s already been suggested in canon, and it’s super fun to play w/ in post-canon works. here’s some fluffy syndicate!dream bc gosh knows we need it after the angst that we’ve been getting 

tw: implied torture, panic attacks, trauma - all v short mentions. this one’s definitely on the lighter side! :D

“I didn’t know you knew sign.”

Dream startles, arms flying to cover his face, and the crow he had been signing at squawks angrily when it turns towards Phil. He ignores its chatter, smoothing his own flinch behind a smile, lowering his wings, bringing his hands, palms up, in front of him at his waist - this song and dance has become all too familiar in the weeks that Dream’s resided with the Syndicate, and Phil is nothing if not patient.

Slowly, the boy uncurls from where he’d huddled into himself, arms clasped firmly around his ribs like someone will try and take them from him if he doesn’t hold on tight enough (and maybe, Phil thinks, imagining the messy lattice of scars underneath Dream’s loose-fitting hoodie that he has only seen a few times since they brought him over, someone has - but those are thoughts that are better left untouched for as long as he can manage it.) Dream’s eyes raise, flick over his face, his breathing quieting down from the discordant rattle it had been, and tentatively, ever slowly, he raises his good hand in a loose fist, letting it bob up and down. Yes.

Phil settles into the armchair across from him, raising his own hands. His fingers feel clumsy, but the memories come back with more ease than he would’ve expected - I know a little. Dream’s eyes don’t quite brighten, but his shoulders fall down from where they’d been hunched up to his ears, the hand he keeps tucked to his chest trembling slightly less, and it’s as much as a win as he’s ever going to get.

The silence stretches, familiar in its awkwardness, and Phil stifles a grimace as he forces long-forgotten memories to the surface. Dream’s hands, from what little he had seen from the doorway, had practically flown as he spoke to the crow still sitting by his right side - obviously practiced even with the still-healing injuries tracing over both arms. How did you learn?

We- He hesitates, left hand trembling violently, before pushing on, we all learned with- he signs a C, then lifts his hands to his head in a sign that Phil vaguely remembers as being the one for deer. Dream must see the questions written in his expression, because his cheeks flush as he backtracks. C-A-L-L-A-H-A-N, he finger spells, and Phil nods. That makes sense.

Some of the crows in the house must have noticed Phil’s arrival, because they storm into the room from the doorway, awkwardly hopping across the door with their wings waving by their sides as they eagerly voice their displeasure at the lack of attention. He’s not in the mood to pick out the words between their angry caws, so he simply watches as they scatter all over the room. Something almost like a smile tugs at Dream’s face as he watches them enter - the kid has grown inexplicably fond of both his flock and all of the assorted animals that Techno drags back into the house whenever he goes out, and Phil has long since resigned himself to being outnumbered one hundred to one by a literal army of mobs wherever he goes. Some of the crows had been pretty wary of Dream at the beginning, but after a few weeks more or less the entire flock has become viciously protective of the kid, sufficiently won over by gifts of head scratches and berries and various shiny things. Sure enough, the birds form a dark, squawking circle at Dream’s feet, a few flying up to tug impatiently at his clothes, and despite the (very obvious) favoritism, Phil smiles; the flock is good for Dream, as annoying as they can be.

DADZA, one calls, its lone cry soon echoed by the entire group of fluttering feathers gathered on the floor, DADZA AND DREAM DADZA DADZA. Phil laughs, a familiar warmth and exasperation filling his lungs, and he turns his attention back to Dream.

You up to some more? He tries; it’s a chance, for sure, and he brushes away the creeping anxiety crawling up his neck; he doesn’t want to make Dream panic, hopes that he’s doing the right thing. I could always use the practice.

Quiet, once again, only broken by the murmurs of his birds eagerly awaiting Dream’s answer as the boy rocks side to side in deliberation, and Phil is halfway through working out a frantic you don’t have to if you don’t want to when Dream raises his own hands.

Sure, he signs, a forced smile on his face but eyes still clear and bright, why not?

Somehow, they end up in a bastardized version of twenty questions, surrounded by birds that do not hesitate at any chance to voice their own opinions. They work through favorite colors (green), favorite flowers (roses for Dream, peonies for Phil), favorite mob (Phil answers this with a pointed definitely-not-crows, staring at the flock who have been shouting over themselves naming different colors for about five minutes, which immediately makes them devolve into screaming caws and divebombs at the edges of Phil’s cape that leave him thoroughly occupied for the next ten minutes), and at some point Phil falls further into the cushions of his chair and Dream’s legs lay against the sofa instead of being drawn up to his chest and it’s almost normal.

By the time Techno finds them, they’ve forgone structure all together, Dream watching intently as Phil signs out an embellished tale of one of the Antarctic Empire’s exploits with a crow held gently in his hands. Techno’s voice behind him startles him bad enough to send his wings snapping outwards, feathers standing on end, but Dream doesn’t react much beyond a twitch of his lips - he must’ve seen the piglin hybrid and tag-teamed to prank him, Phil realizes with a half-hearted grumble. Techno’s eyes sparkle mischievously, definitely planned, then.

“Hi Phil, Dream,” Techno shrugs off his cloak and drapes it over the back of Phil’s chair, “Looks like you’ve been busy. Can’t say I’m not feelin’ a bit left out, though; Phil, you never told me you knew sign language.”

“You never asked, mate,” he quips, even as Dream signs animatedly from the corner of his eye. T-E-C-H-N-O-L-O-S-T.

Techno narrows his eyes. “I get the feelin’ that you’re messin’ with me, nerd.” Dream blinks faux innocently, smiling wider, and Phil picks up on the bit. Oh, this is fun.

He can’t understand us, he assures Dream, feeling a wicked smirk of his own growing on his face. So what do you think for dinner?

“Phil- the betrayal!” Techno splutters, voice going high and pitchy, and that reaction alone would’ve made the prank more than worth it - but Dream’s shoulders shake, eyes glittering as his fingers fly almost too fast for Phil to catch, and oh, that’s laughter, tiny, breathless giggles falling from his lips, and Techno must catch it even as he begins to berate the voices in his head, “This is not a bruh moment, Chat, don’t you start-”

Stew? Dream signs, still snickering, and he looks happy, more than Phil has ever seen him, the sight of him smiling and bright-eyed with amusement almost enough to cover for the gaunt quality of his face, the pale scars left all over his skin.

Of course, mate, Phil signs back, throwing in a do you think T-E-C-H-N-O ended up lost in those same woods again for good measure, rewarded when it sends Dream into another round of giggles. Techno grumbles without any real heat behind it, plopping himself down in the remaining chair.

“Ok, nah, no more of this exclusive club; you guys are teachin’ me this tonight before Chat loses it - yes that was an insult, don’t you start it with the E’s,” and Phil laughs, hard, the flock cawing and beginning to spam E on their own, for some reason, and Dream signing through the alphabet with the biggest grin on his face, and-

“Oh, Prime, this is going to so scuffed,” Phil says, breathless, his warning unheeded as Techno finishes his rant at Chat to focus on Dream.

And it is scuffed - it is so fucking scuffed, between Phil’s lackluster memory and Techno’s frequent interrupting to quiet down an extremely rowdy Chat and the incessant calls of the flock further egging them on, but it’s warm and Dream doesn’t stop smiling and Techno looks more relaxed than he has in weeks and the helpless, singing urge of protect protect protect that has lived in Phil’s head ever since Techno had carried Dream, beaten and bloodied and broken, through their front door finally, finally, begins to quiet down.

He tunes back into the impromptu lesson - they’ve finished the alphabet, seemingly having moved onto common words and objects, and Dream- hesitates, raises his hand, all five fingers drawn together, to the corner of his mouth and then pulls it back. Home, he signs, moving to fingerspelling, H-O-M-E. Home.

For a moment, they’re all quiet, Dream’s hand still raised by his face, even the crows falling silent as they all stare at each other. Phil watches, breath caught in his throat, as the planes of Techno’s face soften, the teasing edge of his voice, for once, leaving. “Yeah, nerd. You’re home.”

Home, Dream signs again, then again, looking up, eyes bright, hopeful. Phil thinks, proudly, that it looks like a new beginning. I’m home.

[hamstermastersamster]

I’m finally playing the RE2 remake (as Leon first) and I’m really enjoying it. Really! Even though I hate change! However, I’m a little annoyed at the slight sequenciing changes in the sewer section and the impact they have on characterisation and pacing and urgency.

In the original, after Leon gets shot, Ada up and takes off after Annette WITHOUT patching him up first. Like, she straight up abandons him after he saved her life. This is Important for her characterisation as a goals-first, people-last agent, but it’s also Important because it means Leon gets to wake up in a puddle of his own blood, dellirious with pain, and go staggering after her because he’s a Good Boy who is absolutely People-First, Own-Safety-and-Wellbeing-Dead-Last. The way the remake handles it, Ada patches him up first and she runs off after Annette with his consent and encouragement. It just completely changes the nature of their relationship and her character a fair bit.

Also in the original, Ada then winds up trapped by Annette and stranded in a face-off against the giant croc. But the remake already blew its giant crocodile load much earlier, in a fun but ultimately brief and sorta forgettable encounter. So this time, when Leon heads off to find Ada, his foe is . . . ENVIRONMENT PUZZLES. He literally can’t even get to her without basically traversing the ENTIRE sewer (AND backtracking unnecessarily into the police station if you’re like me and want All The Things).

The pacing here is ugly, my friends. I had so many sub-goals being tracked in my mind (go back through the Hell Sewer Room and get the flamethrower you had no inventory room for at the time and might have cried about a little, get back to the police station to develop this film you found, find the secret clues in the station, go back to that one locker miles away that you’ve only just got the code for, etc. etc.) that I actually straight up forgot I was meant to be rescuing Ada at one point xD The sense of urgency just is not there.

When you rescue Ada in the original from the giant croc, there’s a cute scene where Leon permits himself a little guilt-tripping and says “This bullet wound isn’t making things any easier” and THEN Ada patches him up. And this is the point at which you can see her starting to soften towards him a teeny bit. It’s like a juicy characterisation reward for stumbling through the sewers with a bullet in you and then blowing a giant croc’s head off to save this girl you like despite the fact she is a total bitch to you and probably doesn’t deserve it. But Leon’s a Good Boy and he thinks everyone deserves it. It’s why I love him.

I’m rambling. Anyway, that said, I’m fully aware my love for the OG game is partially biased by the novelisation of it that S.D.Perry wrote. Her characterisation of Leon as earnest loyal puppy rookie cop who just wants to Help People ended up setting high expectations for me that alll the subsequent RE games featuring him failed to live up to. But rookie cop Leon Kennedy still lives in my heart and soul rent-free for all time <3

[shroudcore]

Speak now, or forever hold your peace. (III)

Summary: You successfully convinced Eliza to stop the wedding. Unfortunately (or is it really), Eliza has come to a solution that she thinks would be best for everybody and it’s happening no matter what. 

Idia x GN!reader. Reader is MC, or takes the role of MC in this story.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Warnings: none

As if by some miracle, he was still standing—even after you failed to convince Eliza how unnecessary a wedding would be. Now face-to-face with you on the altar, he still couldn’t believe how things turned out. This wasn’t  supposed to happen in real-life. Things like these were the stuff of movies. Or anime. Or dating sims. 

Ace, Epel, Rook, and Riddle were freed at your request. They, along with Ortho, were now arranging the paralyzed students into chairs, since Eliza refused to let them move for disrespecting the “couple”. When you ran out of excuses, some heavily opposed the impromptu wedding. Idia knew why: he wasn’t the only one in NRC who liked you like that. He’d been aware of some schoolmates’ attempts to romance you for a while now. Really, all you had to do was pick a route. 

How did he know, you might ask? It’s not like he secretly researched and listed down his competition so he could keep an eye on them. 

Alright… maybe he did. Heat crawled up to his neck at the thought of anyone finding out. 

“So… we’re getting married,” you said, pulling him out of his thoughts. You spoke slowly, as if testing the words in your mouth. Like him, you couldn’t quite wrap your head around the fake wedding just yet. You fidgeted more than usual—barely looking at his face or talking to him since you joined him at the altar. 

Were you thinking of the same thing? The inevitable kiss after you say your vows?

A weak hum was all he could manage. A smile appeared on your face, showing that you understood. You didn’t tell him to speak up; you never told him to. Somehow, the sight of that smile put him at ease like a recovery potion after a Despair battle ailment. It felt like another day in his room, the two of you hanging out and eating candy. 

“Nice suit, by the way.” 

“Th...anks?” Idia turned his head to the side. If he looked at you any longer, he might combust. Not that he didn’t already. Which was embarrassing btw.

You inched closer, making him gasp and jump back as multiple alarms went off in his head. Really… mind the Personal Space Bubble! Oh wait… that’s right. He’d stopped telling you off for getting too close long ago. 

Your face flashed a look of surprise, which quickly faded into concern as you observed him. When you whispered, your breath grazed his neck and ear. Hopefully his shudder escaped your notice. 

“You okay?” Immediately, you backtrack. “Wait, that was stupid. I know you’re not.”

“So many people watching...” he mumbled. His eyes quickly scanned the hall. “I can’t do this.” And he ended it there. You didn’t need to know how he felt about marrying you.

Again, you understood. Your smile faded and Idia found himself missing it immediately as it went. 

“Sorry, I...” you look down, fiddling with your fingers again. “I really should’ve tried harder to stop this.” 

Idia silently wished for dialogue options, because he didn’t quite know what to say to that. However, it looked like he didn’t need to. You took his hand and squeezed it, a determined fire flickering behind your eyes. 

“This’ll be over soon. Just hold on,” you said, squeezing his hand. “It’s just another quest, player 1.”

At the familiar nickname, he smiled in spite of his thumping heartbeat and everything that had happened. “Let’s do it, player 2.”

“Let us proceed with the ceremony!” Eliza, who had been watching the two of you closely, was eager for the wedding to commence. She clasped her hands in anticipation, looking no different from a normie watching a Rom-com. At her command, the wedding music played again—the same one as before. You gave Idia a look and shrugged. 

“Can’t believe we’re getting married to this music...”

“Sounds like doom, doesn’t it?” 

“Isn’t that what marriage is? Doom?” 

“Haha! E-exactly…” Normally, he would’ve agreed wholeheartedly. This time, he couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how you felt marrying him. 

The ghost officiant returned to the makeshift altar (maintaining a good distance from you). Each NRC student who had the misfortune of attempting a proposal sat in a chair, watching the event. You smiled reassuringly, eyes sparkling like embers. 

“We are gathered here today to unite these two lovers in the bonds of matrimony,” the officiant begins. The darkness of the hall gave him quite a sight: the flickering flames of his hair illuminating your face in blue light. Seeing it, when in the safety and darkness of his room, made him feel this warm, fuzzy feeling he thought was reserved for 2D characters. 

“Do you, Idia Shroud, take … as your lawful spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, keeping yourself solely unto them for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer " I do". 

This’ll never happen in real life. “I do.” I don’t have a chance, do I?

Confessing would only ruin the bond he had with you. If it meant never losing your friendship, then this fake wedding would be enough. 

He looked at you, standing in front of him as you were about to say your own vows and silently implored Mnemosyne to burn this scene into his memory forever. 

“Do you take Idia Shroud as your lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer "I do."”

It seemed that you were doing the same. Idia faltered under the intensity of your gaze. “I do.”

“I now pronounce you as spouses. You may now kiss!”

Here it comes. CODE RED! CODE RED!

The way Idia’s face burned rivaled that of his hair. He was becoming hyper-aware of the snickers coming from his schoolmates. Seeing you made him worse—the corners of your mouth twitched and your shoulders shook as you fought back a laugh. 

“Hey! We’re about to kiss and you’re laughing?!” he cried, covering his face. “Kill me now.”

Just like that, your quiet and tender moment was gone. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. Covering your face like he did, you erupted in giggles. Peeking out from the gaps of his fingers, Idia thought about #3 from the Signs of Attraction list he found on the Internet: 

“Another unconscious sign of attraction is mirroring, or matching another person's movements. When people are interested in one another, researchers have found that they tend to mimic each other's movements and gestures.”

Nah. Can’t be. He would have thought it was cute, if you weren’t laughing at his expense. 

“S-sorry! Your hair’s just—” another round of giggles interrupted you. “...burning really brightly!” 

“I can’t help it, okay?” he said, face red from annoyance and of course, the thought of what you were about to do. “Stop!” 

You tried to stop, but just the sight of his red face and hair sent you into another round of wheezing laughter. So hard you laughed, that an inhuman sound came out of you. Immediately, you stopped and looked at him, eyes wide. 

But it was Idia’s turn to lose it. 

“You… sound like… a Minecube pig!” he said, each word punctuated by uncontrollable peals of laughter. The wedding attendees had no choice but to watch on as you and your groom wheezed at the altar instead of kissing. 

“Baaya, what is wrong with them?” a confused Eliza asks. 

“I do not know, but it is apparent that they were made for each other.”

It wasn’t until the annoyed officiant cleared his throat that you and Idia stopped. You straightened up, wiping tears from your eyes as you tried to catch your breath. It was only then that your expression turned serious, but not without a few traces of your mirth from a few seconds ago. 

“Idia, we don’t have to—I’m really, really sorry about this, okay?” you whisper to him. “I know how much you value your firsts…”

“It’s fi—”

“...not that I’m assuming you haven’t had your first uh, kiss yet but—oh god, I uh… ” 

No dating sim—nothing could have prepared him for this situation. But strangely, laughing his ass off with you gave him a spark of courage that he rarely ever felt. In a moment, he would be kissing you. He hopes that courage lasts. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Idia surprised even himself with how steady his voice sounded.

“Oh…” 

You were still, staring at him open-mouthed for what seemed like a few minutes. He stared back, until you were forced to avert your gaze to the ground. Something told him that he was doing something right. A lone voice from the audience chanting “Kiss!” pulled the two of you back to reality. Someone was making an obnoxious kissing sound. Neither of you dared to look and see who it was. 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” the ghosts joined in on the chant. 

Shyly, you lifted your head back up. “O-okay. Here goes nothing!”

He tried recounting how first kisses were described by people on the Internet, from his manga, and the countless dating sims he played. Some said there were fireworks. Some said it felt electric. Some described the feeling as the rest of the world falling away. One swore it made them feel like the ground disappearing beneath their feet and before they knew it, they were floating. 

Should he close his eyes? Which side should he tilt his head? Where does he put his hands? How exactly do you kiss? Questions, panicky thoughts, and movie kissing scenes ran through his head like a computer reading code. When you leaned in, someone pressed ‘mute’ on the sounds in the hall and all that was left was him and you. 

When you held his face in your gloved hands, it was Error 404. He let his eyes flutter closed. When everything went dark, all he felt was the shy, feather-light brush of lips against the corner of his mouth. Not quite on his lips, just dangerously close. 

Purer than a first kiss, but more than just a friendly peck. The students of NRC witnessed Idia’s hair at its most fiery just the same. 

~~

To be continued. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA Characterization hard

Hehe, hope you liked this. Part 4, the finale, coming soon. 

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

[bitchassbucky]

Ｍｅ/Ｙｏｕ

📎Word Count: 1.9k

📎Warning/s: smut! MINORS DNI. toxic relationship dynamics <3 facefucking, sloppy blowjob, facial (not the skincare one), spitting in mouth, biting?, name calling, cheating/affair (bucky cheats), mean!bucky ig, toxic & manipulative!reader (she coerces bucky into cheating... so), alcohol mention, very very very brief sam x reader was mentioned

📎A/N: this was supposed to be a quick drabble but the fic practically wrote itself sooooooo @babyboibucky @sarge-barnes-sir @borikenlove this one’s for my hoes 💛✨

📎reblogs & comments are always welcomed!

📎Masterlist || Ask || AFTERDARK

The stage lit up as the band finished with a flourish. A roar of cheers and applause vibrates through the entire room, breaking the sweaty and the smoky atmosphere of the bar.

Patrons milled around with their drinks in hand. Drunk people leaning over walls and stools, waiting for their friends to come find them.

Your black-rimmed eyes scanned the room for a viable option. You slowly gaze upon the sea of bar-goers, picking out the best of the bunch.

The girl in a pleated skirt? Still giggling with her friends.

What about the man who’s been eye-fucking you since you got here? Too desperate.

There’s someone leaning over at the edge of the room, but they’re too tall for your liking.

You finished your drink with a sharp gulp, already walking towards the bar for a refill when someone caught your eye.

He looked like a sore thumb sticking out of the crowd. His hair was cropped short, a bit frazzled. A fair shade of stubble showered his sharp jaw, lining over his pink lips.

A smirk played on your painted lips, signaling the bartender for two drinks.

“Hey Sam,” you practically purred. A handsome man tending the bar leans closer to you, bringing forth a couple of shot glasses.

“It’s on the house,” Sam said, sliding a neat square of napkins over your side before placing the drink.

You tilt your head that way and smiled in lieu of thanking. A clink—half a second later, you put the empty glass facing downwards.

“Who’s the new guy?” A genuine question. The subject of the conversation sits patiently behind you, checking his phone periodically.

“A friend,” Sam carefully approaches your question, “he’s dating another friend of mine.” Sam already knows what your game is and how... unstoppable you are, for the lack of a better word.

“Well, that didn’t stop us before, did it?”

Looking over your shoulder, you meet his gaze, beckoning him to join you and Sam by the bar.

“Hey man, what can I get ‘ya?” Sam asked his friend, laying another napkin on his end.

“Just a beer, thanks.” He’s short with words. His steely eyes darting everywhere but you.

“What’s your name?” Now you’re scooting closer, even playing up a stumble when the man behind you roared a boisterous laughter.

He then looks at you, finally, albeit hesitant, “I’m Bucky—are you okay?”

You let a small giggle out, playing coy, “Yes, Bucky, I’m okay.” You stick your hand out, a couple of silver and tungsten rings adorning your fingers.

“Nice to meet you...” Bucky prompted, his large hand engulfing yours.

“Sam’s...friend.”

“Right,” he said, letting go of your hand after a firm shake, “‘m just waiting for my girlfriend.”

Sam already moved away from your area, serving a group of girls by the far end of the bar.

“He always does that,” you pointed out. A shared tidbit of mutual interest. Bucky was close enough to get a whiff of his musky cologne. A sliver of necklace hiding beneath his black shirt.

“Yeah, that’s how I actually met him.” It was unprovoked, what he said, but you kept the conversation going.

“You were with a group of drunk girls?” Your quip made him look at you with a playfully defeated smirk, his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. An act that made your thighs clench from under you.

“No, no. Well—he thought that I was some girl’s boyfriend and he gave me a free drink to ‘apologize.’”

You bring up your best laugh, flicking your hair off your shoulder. Exposing your jewelry-adorned neck to him. He gazed down to your chest before clearing his throat.

He was nervous, you—hell, anyone—could tell. His hands were stuffed in his pants, he fidgets by shifting his weight back and forth on his left foot.

“Are you okay?” You looked up at him through your lashes, you were already a mere half a-foot away from him.

Bucky ran his hand through his hair impatiently, checking his phone again. Still no texts. “Yeah—yeah, I’m fine. My girlfriend’s just taking too long.”

You shot Sam a look before putting your hand on Bucky’s chest, “I know a place where you could wait. It’s quieter in there, you could call her.” Your tone was hopeful—a mutual acquaintance helping out a friend.

Before he knows it, Bucky’s hand was in yours as you guide him through the crowd and into a dimly lit hallway.

The wall was decorated with posters and stickers; pictures of patrons and banned people too.

“In here.” You opened a door, flicking a light switch before fully opening the way to let Bucky through. “This is a rehearsal room, the walls are lined with foam so any noise is filtered—can’t really go in and out.”

The old couch on the back was surprisingly clean and comfy, Bucky settled there as you rummaged around the mini-fridge for another drink.

“Beer?” That wasn’t really a question as you pass him a cold can, sitting down beside him.

He huffed, deft fingers dancing over the screen as he composed a longer text, “she always does this. It’s fucking annoying.”

Like the good friend you are, you scooted over to him, laying a soft hand over his shoulder for comfort.

“Hey, it’s fine. She’s just probably held up right now,” you cooed, a sweet little thing. You take a sip of a drink as he does so.

You give his broad shoulder a brief squeeze and made a face, “you’re really tense, man.”

Comically, he relaxes, letting out a breathless chuckle that sent your core fluttering. “‘m sorry. It’s just—this is our first night out in a long while.”

You hum inquisitively, propping up an arm on the backrest, “have you guys been together long?”

A beat passes before you backtracked.

“Sorry, I haven’t been in a long relationship...” You trailed off, tucking a piece of stray hair behind your pierced ear. You tentatively took another gulp of your drink, your cheeks heating up.

“No, it’s okay. We’ve been together for like, maybe three years, or so?” Bucky looks at you. God, it’s like he’s trying to read you before curating his answers. “Been a long time too.”

“Anything adventurous happening?” You teased him, Bucky’s visibly more relaxed now.

“No, nothing adventurous.” He confessed - an unknown reaction washes over his face as he says it.

“I may or may not know a thing or two on how to make your relationship more exciting.”

“Really? Is that so?” Bucky’s voice dropped a couple of octaves, sending shivers down your spine. He leans over then, getting closer to your face until his face is merely inches away from you.

“Bucky,” you breathe out. Your hands flat against his chest.

He blinks—once, twice.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry—shit, I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t be here. I’m gonna go—“ His whole demeanor changed. Bucky stands up, straightening his pants and shirt before looking down at you, still seated on the couch.

He was just three steps away from the door when you slot yourself between him and his way, “where do you think you’re going?”

“Outside. Outside, I’m gonna wait for my girlfriend outside.” He’s rambling, his ears are going red. A thin sheet of sweat glistening over his forehead.

Closing the gap between you and him, you lay a hand against his chest, over his heart. “Do I make you nervous?”

Bucky stammers out a broken ‘no.’

“No? Why’s your heart beating so fast, then?”

You reached up to his nape, pushing him down to your height to kiss him hard. He didn’t push you away yet, his hands are gripping your arms for purchase. His fingers digging in the flesh of your shoulders. It’s sure to be bruised come morning.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed out as you pull away. His lips shining and swollen, “what did you do?”

“Something thrilling, really.”

Bucky didn’t know how you got on your knees, tugging his black jeans down along with his boxer briefs in a desperate manner.

“God, I knew you were packing.”

His cheeks heat up even more as you palm him, his length hot and heavy against your hand. You lean in and nipped his thigh, your sharp teeth digging into his skin.

Bucky couldn’t help himself but to hiss and slap you across the face, “don’t fucking bite me.”

He expected you to look up at him with tears in your eyes, what he wasn’t expecting is you looking up with mischief and joy glinting in your eyes as you bite him again—harder this time, “God, fuck—you slut!”

Bucky saw red and grabbed you roughly by your jaw, squeezing your mouth open, “you want me so fuckin’ bad, you’re marking me, aren’t you, huh? Such a fucking slut, look at you.”

He squeezes harder, prying your mouth open as he missed your mouth with his spit, “open your mouth—fucking open!”

You obliged, your knees scraping raw as you kneel before Bucky. You feel his spit drip down your chin, the first time he missed. The second one slid down your tongue, prompting him to forcefully tap your cheek close as you swallow.

His angry cock stood dripping with precum; prominent veins making themselves known. You scoot closer, licking his balls up to the crown of his head which earns you a grunt.

“Hurry the fuck up,” Bucky orders. He wastes no time in bunching your hair up in his fist, slapping your swollen lips and cheek with his cock. “This better than your gloss, yeah? Hmm, yeah, ‘course it is.”

Bucky squeezes your mouth again, pushing his thick cock past your lips, your warmth engulfing all of him at once. “No reflex? My god, you’ve been here before, haven’t ‘ya?”

His presumptions were proven wrong when he started to pump in and out of your mouth. You gagged and choked, your throat constricting around his head every time he hits the back. “In and out through the nose, hmm? Yeah, c’mon. You can do it, bitch.”

Once you got past your reflex and relaxing your throat, Bucky took advantage and sped up. His balls slapping your chin when he thrusts in. The neckline of your shirt wet with spit and drool as he continues to fuck your mouth like he owns it.

You hum as you feel Bucky’s cock throb in your mouth.

“Yeah, yeah—fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

Another set of rough thrusts, Bucky pulls out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air. He strokes his girth with his hand, with you licking the angry crown of his length. Ropes of cum spurt out, painting a good portion of your face milky white. You managed to swallow it, catching some in your abused mouth.

He stands tall above you, catching his breath as he tucks himself into his pants once more. “The fuck did I just do?”

“Something adventurous.” You smirk, standing up on your own, wiping your face with the inside of your shirt.

Bucky pats down his pocket for his phone, landing his gaze on the couch to look for it. He saunters over, looking for any texts from his girlfriend.

“You know, I’m doubting you even have a girlfriend,” You let out a sharp quip as you smooth your hair down, drinking the rest of your beer.

“Shut the fuck up.” Bucky retorts, stuffing his phone down his back pocket. Before strutting over a desk and scribbling something.

“What? You came on my face and I can’t say shit?”

He tosses you a piece of paper, catching it on your hand. Bucky gives you a reluctant look before turning the doorknob, leaving you alone in the room.

You unfold the paper then, ‘call me when you’re feeling adventurous’ it says, along with his phone number.

[jean-kayak]

Saw some cute couple tiktoks and it gave me an idea for a fluffy request!

Just some hc’s of lwaizumi, Ushijima, Suna, and Hinata not understanding the stereotypes of black women when their gf is anything but that. She’s gentle and nurturing with them, can be firm but does so because she cares, calls them sweet nicknames with a smile on her face, makes banging bentos and dinner, and when she’s not wearing any makeup or accessories; her natural beauty just flexes on them with the sun shining on her melanin.

I just want these boys to simp and be like “Aggressive? Loud? Ratchet? *looks around* Where?” But if someone says sumn racist or calls their queen ugly, shit will be on sight.

A/N: Here you go, anon! Hope you like it! (i lowkey made these really long)

💪To say this man is enamored by you would be a massive understatement

💪You have him so far gone, and he wouldn't have it any other way

💪One of his favorite things about being with you is waking up next to you in the morning

💪The sun hits your skin just right, and he swears up and down you're glowing

💪Of course, no one believes him so he takes a picture to prove that you look ethereal, bonnet and all, and you feel your face heat in embarrassment when you find out he's been showing that picture to his friends

💪Since he has to wake up so early in the mornings, he's very careful when he gets out of bed making sure to not wake you

💪But before he gets out of the door, you're always right there, handing him his lunch before cupping his face in your hands, planting soft kisses on his forehead, nose, and lips

💪And if he could fall in love any harder, he definitely does every time you do it

💪He was working with the team at the gym, and he was getting dressed after showering, wanting to fall right into bed with you when he got home

💪He's smiling like a dork at his phone, reading over a text that you sent him, when someone gets his attention

💪It's someone he's become acquainted with, asking him who the person is making him look at his phone the way he is

💪He proudly shows him a picture of you (thankfully nothing embarrassing), and the guy's reaction confuses him

💪"I bet she's annoying, yeah?" he jokes, and Iwaizumi just squints at him, an irritated look on his face

💪The guy laughs his first comment off before making another one. "Like super loud? You know what I mean?"

💪Iwaizumi scoffs darkly as he shakes his head. "Nah, I don't know what you mean, but you don't want me to find out."

💪The guy's playful demeanor drops fear slightly appearing on his face at his tone

💪"Say something like that again, and I'll break you in half." He puts a light tone on his words even though he's dead serious

💪"Have a nice night," he adds, giving him a hard smack on his shoulder before walking out of the gym a lot angrier than he wants to be

💪But he can't help but think about what the guy said, and he hopes that no one's said anything like that to you

💪He finds you with your back against the headboard, scrolling through your phone, the TV playing

💪He drops his bag, instantly flopping down on top of you, and you chuckle softly as you run your fingers through his hair, your nails lightly scratching at his scalp

💪He's so tired that the feeling has him falling asleep instantly, and you ask him how his day was, and he tenses when he remembers the last conversation he had

💪You notice and stop moving your fingers, and rub your hands over his shoulders instead. "You okay, Hajime?" you ask concerned

💪He looks up at you, a look in his eye you can't read. "If anyone says any disrespectful shit to you, let me know, okay?"

💪You at him in confusion but nod your head anyway, and you know he'll tell you when he's not seconds from sleep, and he gives you a warm smile before pressing a soft kiss on your stomach before he finally conks out

🌾You were probably one of the first people to ever make him smile widely

🌾The first time his team sees it, they're more than shocked, and they constantly tease him about the fact that there's someone that could make him smile that big

🌾He loves coming home to you after practice or games, the house filled with the smell of his favorite food

🌾Sometimes he won't even eat, would rather spend his time in your arms until you make him eat

🌾He's always finding himself at a war with himself, the appeal of going out for a morning run sounding awful compared to staying in and laying with you

🌾He would probably do anything you say, whether that's easing up at practice or making sure he's following a new diet that he's been put on which means that, no, he can't have dessert tonight

🌾He comes home one day, crashing in the bed, and you instantly notice that his shoulders are tenser than usual

🌾Your soft is voice but firm as you scold him telling him, "You shouldn't push yourself so hard, baby"

🌾And that's all it takes for all of the tension to drain out of him along with your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck

🌾For a while, you remained a mystery to the team, only Tendou knowing who you were

🌾And it was all because they just outright ask to see what you looked like, so he claims that it just never came up lmfao

🌾So, everyone is surprised when you walk in, and when they see his face light up, like, instantly

🌾They've never seen him move so fast off the court before, all of them floored

🌾He gives you a kiss on your forehead before promising you that he'll be home early and that he won't overwork himself, and then you're out of the gym

🌾He walls back to the team with a light blush on his face, his lips still upturned in a smile as he reads the note you left on his bento

🌾But as soon as he gets to the team, that same stoic expression is back on his face. "What is everyone standing around for?" 💀

🌾He's one of the first people out of the shower after practice, eager to get home, and he's slipping on his shirt when one of his teammates walks up to him

🌾He's slowly working his way up on actually getting playing time, but he just wants to get home, but tunes into the conversation anyway

🌾He asks him if the woman that walked in during practice was his girlfriend, and he gives him a dumb look at his nods his head once

🌾The guy chuckles lightly before saying, "I bet they're all the same, right?"

🌾Ushijima raises an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

🌾The guy scoffs softly, and as he's about to respond, he slams his locker a little more aggressively than usual, making the guy jump

🌾"You should refrain from saying anything disrespectful about my girlfriend and instead work on your shitty receives," he deadpans, his voice hard before he walks out

🌾He didn't want to even begin to answer the conversation, hating how it sounded like the guy was putting you into a certain group

🌾His shoulders are tense when he comes home for a different reason when you hug him, and he's looking at you, but not saying anything

🌾"What're you thinking about?" you comment, lightly pressing on the wrinkles on his forehead. "What's wrong?"

🌾"If anyone says anything awful to you, you tell me immediately," he says quickly, his voice so serious that it makes your eyes widen

🌾"Okay?" he urges, cupping your face softly

🌾"Yeah, of course," you say, nodding quickly, and he smiles before giving your forehead a soft kiss

🦊There's literally nothing that this man doesn't love about you

🦊Like Iwaizumi, swears up and down that you're glowing when the sun hits your skin the morning

🦊If you're sitting anywhere in the house where the sun hits your skin through the blinds, he'll just stare at you until you finally call him out on it

🦊Has whole albums on his phone of just you, and you and him, it literally takes up a huge portion of his phone storage

🦊He's your biggest hype man, will literally have many photoshoots with you

🦊If y'all are driving around and the sun hits you just right, he's pulling over so that you he can take pictures

🦊This man also becomes a huge cuddle when you start dating, or more like he always wants to be wrapped in your arms or on top of you in some way, shape, or form

🦊This is mostly because your touches are so soft, that it puts him to sleep instantly

🦊It could be your fingers running through his hair, your hands rubbing up and down his back, or when you massage his shoulders after a game

🦊His soft snores fill the room like five minutes after you start

🦊He is very aware of the stuff that you have to deal with, microaggressions and all, and he's quick to shut it down

🦊Matter of fact, it's probably one of his favorites things to do

🦊He likes watching the people who make the backhanded compliments lose all of their bravado lmfao

🦊There was one time where he was hanging out with Atsumu, catching up with him, and he ran into someone that he vaguely remembered from high school

🦊Somehow you came up in the conversation, and Suna was more than proud to show him a picture of you because you're like smoking hot and he loves showing you off lmfao

🦊But he already knows where the conversation is going when he sees the guy's reaction

🦊"Isn't she like--" His comment is cut off when Suna squints at him, Atsumu hiding his chuckle being his hand

🦊"Isn't she like what? Hm?" he hums. "What stupid shit are you about to say?"

🦊The guy tries to backtrack, but Suna cuts him off. "Oh, no, please say whatever you were about to say, I'm all ears," he drawls, his eyebrows raised, having way too much fun

🦊The guy's babbling now, stuttering over his words, and Suna claps a hand down on his shoulder. "Pull that shit again and I'll kill you, yeah?"

🦊He gives him a wink before squeezing his shoulder hard. "Nice talking to you," he jokes before he walks away

🦊And best believe that he will fight anyone that thinks that shit is okay

🍊He's constantly floored by you

🍊When his eyes first landed on you, the world disappeared around him, and it still does every time his eyes land on you

🍊Stares at you a ton until he just tackles you in a hug or kisses

🍊This happens a lot lmao, and you've just learned to let it happen

🍊You're always there making sure he's taking care of himself like making sure he's drinking enough water when he's out in the sun for a long time

🍊He literally eats everything that you cook, and this man eats a lot

🍊He always asks you to come with him whenever he's playing volleyball out in the sand

🍊He tells you it's because he just wants you to be there to watch him, but he's mostly watching you and how your skin glows under the sunlight

🍊He comes up with cute, corny captions whenever he posts pictures of you

🍊Like, "my sunshine under the sunlight," corny stuff like that 💀

🍊His energy seems to be even higher whenever he's with you, and sometimes you have to put your hands on his shoulders to stop him from bouncing

🍊He always asks you to put sunscreen on his face because he likes how softly you apply it, and you always kiss his forehead before you put it on, and it makes him swoon

🍊His friends tease him about how his attention span on actually playing volleyball drops whenever he brings you with him

🍊And he's like "can you blame me???"

🍊Like, all you could be doing is laying there while you're reading or on your phone and he'll stop in the middle of the game or during a break and kiss you before going back to playing

🍊And let someone say something disrespectful about you, and his happy demeanor literally disappears

🍊Some guy that joined their game one day when they were down a player made some comment like "is that your girlfriend? Really?"

🍊And the pride he was beaming about being your boyfriend changes

🍊The smile falls off of his face, and he's stepping closer to the guy, his face goes hard

🍊And he lowers his voice so that his words are out of your earshot

🍊He gives him a dark chuckle. "Say it again, I dare you."

🍊The guy's eyes widen at his tone, and then that signature smile is back on his face. "Watch what you say next time, or I won't hesitate to find you."

🍊The guy is taken aback, and Hinata just walks away, making his way towards you

🍊You haven't seen him yet, and he's laying down on top of you, and you protest about him being sweaty and covered in sand

🍊"You know I love you, right?" You bristle in surprise, a small smile on your face before you nod

🍊"You're amazing in literally every way, and don't listen to anyone that says anything different."

🍊You're confused at the sudden declaration as you reply with, "Thank you, Sho. And I love you, too."

🍊And then he's smiling widely at you, brighter than the sun before he's pecking you on the lips before getting off of you and running back towards the court