#I’m fairly happy with it so far!!
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gothamsfinestdummy · 2 years ago
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Hehe I’m so excited to work on my spread page :,)
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fantasykiri5 · 6 months ago
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A PressureBeast for day 10 of @hermitadaymay !!
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pterodactylterrace · 5 months ago
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Syrax is the mother of Danny’s dragons!
Uhh… not what cannon has told us so far, but apparently it’s Condal’s world and GRRM is just living in it.
Mind pointing out which egg is which?
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I see a red with black and gold shading, gold and white, black with green highlights and lavender.
Danny’s eggs are black with scarlet ripples and whorls, deep green and bronze, and pale cream streaked with gold.
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You can argue that the red and gold ones are Drogon and Viserion, but there is no bright green egg like Dani has in GOT. Drogon’s egg is also mostly black with red highlights. So is the black and green meant to be Rhaegal? Did fossilization somehow change the egg colors this drastically? Wouldn’t they turn back into the colors they were before they turned to stone? What happens to the lavender one? That one just gets stolen or broken somehow since Rhaena claims Sheepstealer at some point this season rather than hatching her own? While we are on that, why get rid of a whole ass dragon in a show about dragons?
Like, they knew exactly what Dani’s eggs looked like. If they wanted to somehow retcon that Dani’s eggs came from Syrax, the least they could have done is make them the same colors and design instead of doing their usual “close enough!” Dragon color scheming.
Also, are we even going to see the green dragons aside from when they are in battle? We have the black dragons in spades, but this season we have seen Vhagar from like two miles away. Where is Sunfyre? Why can’t we watch Dreamfyre react when Helaena’s son is murdered in front of her? Why don’t we even get to see Dreamfyre light her son’s pyre? Rhaenyra got a whole episode to grieve, and Helaena got paraded around during a funeral procession where her son’s wagon gets stuck and almost dumps his body onto the street.
We get it, Condal. Green = Bad. We are told Aegon assaulted a servant before we are introduced to him, literally ass first. We understand that you don’t want us to like him. You’re about as subtle as a cannon. Thing is… I’m really stubborn. The more you try to tell me how horrible they are and how pure and gIrLBoSs Rhaenyra is… the more I root for the Greens.
Go ahead, make them as bad as you want. At this point, it’s so far removed from cannon that we can laugh at it. It’s straight up just Rhaenyra fanfiction. I will gladly sit here and twirl my cartoon villain mustache and cheer while they do the most fucked up shit and attempt to blame it on Rhaenyra.
Here’s hoping Condal stops sucking his own dick and sticks to the book cannon for season 3 instead of making this travesty.
Like, I don’t know GRRM well enough to have an opinion on him, but as a fellow writer… what Condal is doing is just disrespectful. He was supposed to adapt the story he was given. Not make his own.
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boydykepdf · 10 months ago
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you had surgery? are you doing ok?
yeah!! i’m doing great recovering well etc. the anesthesia made me really sick yesterday but 2day i was feeling well enough 2 go 2 the grocery store w my mom…made pasta…played a bit of piano answered some emails etc…been up & about :•)
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hiddenworldofmary · 8 months ago
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i fell victim to consumptionism for the first time in years and ordered a cheap polyester mid season trench coat and i feel so guilty i want to go and plant trees but my god it seems to be the exact shade of pink that i love the most and i squealed with delight when i first saw it and i never allowed myself colourful coats before because they’re not the most versatile and somehow it feels both good and bad to get it
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whimsyprinx · 2 years ago
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i don’t think I’m like actually allowed to be happy or that I even know how to be anymore
#whimsy whispers#this isn’t me asking for permission to be happy by the way#it doesn’t matter if everyone in the world told me I was allowed to be happy I wouldn’t believe them and it wouldn’t make me like able to#suddenly be happy either#idk this post hasn’t got a point#everything just feels bad and hopeless and sad and idk what to do anymore when existing sucks so much and I know I’m never going to be happy#I just feel like I’m being suffocated or drowning or something#rn is actually a better day because I feel fairly empty which is far preferred for being in tears#like I just don’t know what to do at this point I feel so unhappy and unloved and alone and there’s nothing I can do#I can’t just fix anything I can’t just be happy I can’t make myself be loved I can’t do anything#all I can do is let each day pass by either feeling like it’s the end of the world and wishing that it really were or feeling empty#there’s no relief#it’s not that i want to be like this but I can’t help it#I want to be happy and loved and surrounded by people who love me but as I am I’m unfit for love and I honestly haven’t felt genuinely loved#I’m so long and at this point all I’m doing is making those around me feel worse so isn’t it best if I just stop being in peoples lives#so that’s what I’m up to now#I’ll be unhappy regardless but at least other people will hopefully be happier without me being so sad around them all the time#I make myself tired so I can only imagine how tired everyone else is of me
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fireinmoonshot · 3 months ago
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the hard way | tyler owens x fem!reader
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Pairing: Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader Summary: You and Tyler Owens have a bad habit of butting heads, but all it takes is one hint of jealousy and things change in the blink of an eye. Warnings: Tyler is lowkey an asshole, but reader can be too, there is a creepy guy that tries to come onto reader and puts his hands on her. Word Count: 4.2k A/N: I rewatched the original Twister movie today and got this idea while watching it and then it all just came out of my head onto the page and here we have it! I had so much fun writing this, it's honestly one of my favourite Tyler fics I've done so far. I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for all the love on my Twisters fics so far!
“Oh, here we go again,” Boone says, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches you walking towards Tyler, your laptop in your hands. Judging by the look on your face, you have something fairly important to show Tyler – and Boone knows Tyler won’t be happy about it.
Dani sighs beside him, her legs kicked up on their cooler from their spot at the motel. It’s late at night and none of the storms had turned into anything today, leading to a very long day for all of you. You’d driven hundreds of miles only to end up with no new footage.
“How long do you think it’ll take him to get mad?” Dani asks.
“He’s just spotted her and he already looks annoyed, so I’d guess straight away.”
They watch on from a distance as you finally reach Tyler. You move to stand beside him so he can see the screen of your laptop. “I was right after all,” you glance up at him. “See this? That storm was never going to amount to anything and even the radar showed it dying out. We could have saved ourselves half a tank of gas and a few hours if you’d listened to me.”
Tyler rolls his eyes and looks away from your laptop, trying to focus on not burning the dinner he’s been cooking the team on the barbecue that the motel has. “Okay, I get it. But I can’t go back in time and listen to you, so will you just drop it? I’ve had to listen to this all day. You’re drivin’ me insane, sunshine’.”
“Well, if you had listened to me, I wouldn’t have kept bugging you about it, T.”
It’s never been smooth sailing between you and Tyler. You get along most of the time, sure – you have to when you’re working together. But you also tend to butt heads more often than not. With both of you having studied meteorology, you’re the only two members of the team with formal training, which means you often have differing opinions on your interpretations of the weather and the forecasts. 
You disagree with Tyler, he disagrees with you and the rest of the Wranglers watch on, both amused and irritated at the fact that the two of you just can’t seem to work together sometimes. There are, of course, times when you can deal with it. But today… well, Boone had been glad to get out of the car at the end of the day and distance himself from the two of you.
He swears he’s not riding with you both tomorrow.
“If I listen to you now, will you stop bugging me still?” Tyler looks at you.
With a scowl, you slam your laptop shut and hold it under your arm. “If you listen to me tomorrow, then I might stop bugging you. I am not having another failed day chasing because of your inability to choose which storms to follow.”
Tyler sighs. “Why do you always have to do things the hard way?”
You huff and walk away, heading back over to the rest of the team. You grab a drink out of the cooler and sit down on the tailgate of Tyler’s truck, sitting your laptop beside you. The other members of the team watch you cautiously, like you’re a brewing storm that could become a tornado at any moment.
“Anyone wanna take my spot in the truck tomorrow? I’ll ride elsewhere,” you offer.
Boone stares at you for a moment. “You promise?”
You make a face at Boone and take a sip of your drink. “Yes, I promise,” you say. “I’m sorry you had to listen to all that today. God, he just drives me up the wall sometimes. I don’t know how he expects us to continue running this damn Youtube channel or get the research we need if we don’t get the right storms to chase.”
“Hey, no Tyler talk while you’re over here,” Dani pipes up. “This is a safe zone.”
“Sorry, sorry,” you mutter, lapsing into silence just as Dexter, Lily and Kate re-join the group, having headed upstairs to their rooms to refresh themselves before coming back down for dinner. You watch as Kate heads over to help Tyler out.
By the time the two of them bring dinner over to you, you’ve managed to cool off a fair amount and are now discussing the forecast for tomorrow with Dexter, who is leant up against the truck, looking at your laptop over your shoulder. 
“Burgers are ready,” Kate announces as they place the tray of them on the small camp table that someone had set up earlier in the evening. “We worked real hard on them.”
You’re surprised when Tyler picks up two paper plates, puts a burger on each of them and then walks over to you, handing one of them to you before taking the seat beside you on the tailgate. 
“Truce?” He says, looking across at you. “I’m sorry ‘bout today, I mean it.”
Your lips quirk up into a smile. “You promise you didn’t poison my burger?”
Tyler chuckles. “No, not unless Kate put something in there that I didn’t see.”
“Okay, then. Truce,” you nod. “But I’m not riding with you tomorrow.”
He raises his eyebrows just as he takes a bite of his burger. It takes him a few moments to reply, refusing to speak with a mouth full of food – something his mother had instilled in him from a very young age. “What? Why? You’re not still that mad at me, are you?”
“No, I just need a change of scenery or I’m worried I’ll run you off the road. I saw the way you got today when you got distracted cause I was arguing with you. It’ll be good for us to cool off and get a break from each other.”
From across the group, Boone adds “I think you just want to argue over the radio, actually. That’s what you mean by a change of scenery, isn’t it?” His voice is teasing.
“Funny,” you narrow your eyes at him.
“You can ride with me and Lily tomorrow,” Kate changes the subject ever so slightly. “Boone can ride with Tyler. Just like old times, right?”
You look at Tyler, expecting him to be happy with the idea of you riding with the others tomorrow so you don’t bother him all day, but instead he looks concerned. His eyebrows are knotted together and the look on his face shows he’s displeased. 
“Ty?”
He blinks and the look disappears off of his face. “Yeah, go for it. Boone and I’ll be right, hey buddy?” He raises his beer in a cheers to Boone, who does the same thing. “Don’t miss me too much from the other car though.”
“Me, missing you? I think you should try not to miss me, T.”
Tyler grins. “Easier said than done, sunshine.”
The following morning it feels strange to be getting into a car that’s not Tyler’s red truck. It’s your usual mode of transport. Your seat is the passenger seat and it has been for most of the chases in the past, except for ones where footage was the primary purpose of the chase and not research. 
You’re just lifting your bag up into the trunk of Lily’s car when Tyler swoops in behind you and helps you lift it – as if it weighed more than it actually did, as if you were actually having trouble with it. You turn around, eyebrows raised. 
“Mornin’, sunshine,” Tyler grins. “Haven’t had a sudden change of heart, I see?”
“Not happening,” you smile in return. “You’ll be fine without me. You and Boone will be able to catch up like old times. And don’t worry, if we disagree on something, I’ll be sure to let you know about it over the radio anyway. I have Kate on my side today.”
Tyler laughs. “Oh, double whammy. I’m in danger today, aren’t I?”
Kate appears from the other side of the car, putting her own bag in beside yours. She wraps an arm around your shoulders and shoots a smile at Tyler. “You’re gonna regret letting her ride in a car other than yours today, Tyler. A day driving with Lily and I… she’s gonna be a changed woman by the time she gets back in your truck tomorrow.”
“That’s if I even want to get back in his truck, Kate.”
He stares at the two of you and then shakes his head and laughs to himself. “Okay, I’m getting Boone and getting out of here before Lily shows up and you guys gang up on me even more,” he turns and heads for his truck. “Drive safe, all right?”
You and Kate both laugh, watching him as he walks towards his truck, Boone joining him on the way there. Dani and Dexter aren’t far behind him, hopping into the van, and Lily comes bounding down the steps after them, her bag over her own shoulder. 
“We ready for today, ladies!?” She calls loudly from across the lot. 
“Let’s do this!” Kate matches her energy.
You take the back seat, feeling incredibly out of place in the car as Lily starts the engine and follows the other two cars out of the parking lot, leaving the motel behind. It’s smaller in this car compared to Tyler’s, and as you pull your laptop out of your bag and get the radar up on it to get another look at the storm you’d all chosen earlier in the morning, you wonder if you made the right choice.
You’ve been on the road for two hours, heading for a storm north of you when you look down at the radar again and see that it’s gotten smaller – not becoming the larger storm you were all hoping for and certainly not likely to produce a tornado. It’s your job to reach up and grab the radio from between Lily and Kate in the front seats to inform the others. 
“The storm’s shrinking, I think we should pull into a gas station and regroup,” you tell the others through the radio, already preparing yourself for the response.
It comes through almost instantly. Tyler, laughing, then his voice: “What was that you were saying to me last night about listening to you? Guess you’re off your game, darlin’.”
Kate grabs the radio off of you before you can say anything else. “Okay, we all chose this storm together, Tyler. Let’s not throw accusations around and not over the radio.” 
You’re unaware that in the truck, Boone is telling Tyler off for the exact same thing. 
“Thanks, Kate,” you reach forward and squeeze her shoulder as she hands the radio back to you. “Next gas station, let’s pull in and we can all look at the radar together. I don’t think we’re gonna get anything massive in the time it takes us to regroup.” 
“You sure about that, sunshine?” Tyler’s voice comes through the radio again. “I don’t know if we can trust your ability to forecast the weather anym–” His voice cuts off abruptly.
“Sorry ‘bout him,” You hear Boone say shortly after. “We’ll see you at the gas station.”
You give the radio back to Kate and lean back in your seat, sighing as you look out the window at the blue sky and the clouds scattered around it. How could he have been perfectly tolerable last night during dinner, help you with your bag this morning and yet be so irritating? You hadn’t even said anything to spur him on. 
It’s about an hour later by the time you reach the next gas station and you’re grateful when you can get out and stretch your legs. Lily and Kate both head for the bathroom while you head inside to order some drinks and food for the three of you. You don’t bother to wait for Tyler when you see him hop out of his truck. 
He makes his way up to you once you’re inside, waiting for your drinks to be made.
“How’s the other car goin’?” Tyler asks, nudging your shoulder gently.
You look at him, arms crossed over your chest, and look away, choosing to say nothing.
“Come on, sunshine. You’re seriously ignoring me? Where’s that fiery attitude of yours? Just cause you’re in another car doesn’t mean you can’t give me shit right back when I give it to you,” he tries. 
But you’re not interested in the slightest. His words had been uncalled for – especially when you’d moved to another car in an attempt to diffuse the tension between the two of you, and he’d just brought it right back up.
The waitress slides the drinks over the counter and calls your name just as Lily and Kate exit the bathroom, heading straight for you. 
“Can you guys watch my drink? I need to go grab my phone from the car,” you tell them.
Lily and Kate happily take your drink, moving to stand beside Tyler and make conversation with him as you head back outside to grab your phone. You don’t really need it that badly, it’d be perfectly fine to leave in the car till you headed back outside anyway, but it was your way of getting out of a conversation with Tyler. Not that it really was much of a conversation anyway.
When your phone is in hand, you make no hurry to walk back inside the gas station. You make note of several other storm chasers in the parking lot and filling up their cars with gas. It’s a popular stretch of road for chasers and you assume several of them had been chasing the same storm as you and had realised it was going to be a bust.
You almost bump into one of them as you’re heading back inside. You recognise him instantly. He’s in one of the more well known teams, one of the Wranglers rivals and one of the many other groups of chasers that think you guys are just in it for the money you get from the Youtube videos rather than a genuine love of weather and chasing.
“Well, if it isn’t my favourite Tornado Wrangler,” Xavier flashes a smile at you and holds the door open for you to enter, following in after you. “Bit of tension in the group, I hear.”
You frown, unsure about his words meaning, when he continues.
“One of my guys was switching frequencies in the van and got yours on accident. We, uh, we heard your little… disagreement with Owens,” he admits. “I promise we weren’t listening in on purpose. That’s the last thing I’d wanna do. But y’know… open channels and all.”
You can’t help but cringe at his words and let out an awkward laugh. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, Xavier. It’s nothing a little time and a successful storm won’t fix, anyway. I think everyone in the chasing community knows Tyler and I butt heads nearly every day.” 
“Butt heads? Honey, that sounded a lot more like an intentional insult to me.”
“No,” you shake your head. “No, Tyler wouldn’t do that.”
Hearing that Xavier thought Tyler’s words were an insult is the kick you need to make you realise that they weren’t. Tyler was the type to get on your nerves, that was true. But the type to intentionally insult you in an attempt to hurt your feelings? He would never do that.
Xavier gives you an unimpressed look. “Listen, honey – we have a spot available in our team and it’s yours if you want it,” He reaches out and places a hand on your waist, almost making you flinch at the action. You resist the urge to hit his hand off. “You have the degree to prove you know what you’re doing and I think we both know you’re wasting your time with the Wranglers. Especially proven that their leader seems to treat you like something on the bottom of his shoe… me, on the other hand, well… I’d treat you better.”
You try your hardest to control your expression, not wanting to come across the wrong way or to make a scene in front of everyone in the gas station �� your team, his team and the several other teams and general patrons all milling about and eating their mid-day feed. Even though you feel uncomfortable as all hell and would love nothing more than to deliver a swift punch to his nose and book it straight back out the door. 
“Listen, Xavier,” you take a step closer to him and almost cringe at the way his lips move up into a smile at your closer proximity. “I wouldn’t join your team if it was the last storm chasing team on earth. If you think I’m wasting my time with my team, I hate to think how much time I’d waste on yours. I’ve seen how much time you spend looking in your car mirrors. If you didn’t know, the tornadoes don’t actually care how your hair looks.” You reach up and pat his chest condescendingly. “And if I hear you say one more bad word about Tyler Owens, I’ll make sure the whole chasing community knows about what happened here today, how you tried to come onto me just to get me to join your team. Trust me, it won’t end well for you.”
You don’t waste anymore time in removing his hand from your waist and leaving him standing alone as you head back over to your group. Kate and Lily are watching you from right where you left them, though Tyler isn’t with them anymore. 
Kate hands you your drink. “You all right? What the hell was that?”
“Just Xavier being an asshole,” you mutter, risking a look over your shoulder to see that he’s gone to join the rest of his group. You hope he’s seething and embarrassed by your words. “I dealt with him though.” 
You can’t shake the uncomfortable feeling still running through your body, though. You try and take a sip of your coffee to calm yourself down. It doesn’t work, really only making you feel more jittery and strange. 
“I’m gonna go wait out at the car, when you guys are all done we can check the radar together and decide where to go from here, all right? You guys can tell the others?” You ask.
Kate nods. “Yeah, course. You sure you’re okay, though?”
You look between her and Lily, noticing the worried looks on their faces, and try and put a smile on your own face to stop them from worrying so much. “Yeah, I promise. It’s just packed to the brim in here and I wanna get some fresh air after all the driving.”
You can feel Kate and Lily’s eyes on you as you leave, coming out the door you’d only just come inside through. You make a beeline straight to the car, taking a deep breath, grateful for the cool breeze on your skin and the warmth of the sun above you. The uncomfortable feeling starts to fade as you open the door to the car and climb up, putting your coffee in the cup holder and leaving your feet hanging out the door as you start to scroll on your phone to distract yourself. 
It’s only a few minutes later when someone stands in the way of the sun and casts a shadow over you. You blink up to meet Tyler’s eyes. He stands in the doorway of the truck, a hand on his hip.
“Already scouting a new group to join cause of me, are you?” He starts, and it takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. “I go to the bathroom for two minutes and come out to see you and freakin’ Xavier all close? When the hell did that happen?”
You let out a huff and squeeze your eyes shut. “Seriously, T, can you not do this right now?”
Tyler shakes his head. “I wasn’t trying to insult you over the radio, sunshine. Usually, you give it right back to me, so that’s what I was expecting, and I know I took it too far – Boone said as much after we put the radio down. I really am sorry about it.”
You open your mouth to tell him it’s all right, that you accept his apology, but he continues speaking, cutting you off and making you glad you never got a chance to actually speak.
“But out of everyone, I see you flirting with Xavier? I mean, come on.”
“I wasn’t flirting–”
“Sure as hell looked that way to me,” he huffs. “You two were all touchy. I saw it.”
You take a deep breath and move to stand up, forcing him to move out of your way. You close the car door behind you and turn to face him, crossing your arms over your chest. You are not going to have this argument like this. 
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous, Tyler.”
Tyler doesn’t hesitate before he replies. “Well, that’s cause I am.”
For the first time since you’ve known Tyler Owens, you’re lost for words. You open your mouth once, twice, unable to come up with anything to say to him. It seems Tyler is the same, just staring at you, his eyes ever so slightly wide. 
“Then… then you’re jealous for all the wrong reasons,” you manage.
You should be saying something else – teasing him, getting on his nerves, but your short response is all you can get out and it’s nothing like your usual tone when you talk to Tyler.
He frowns. “Why is that?”
You clear your throat. “Cause he was the one coming onto me, telling me to join his team and talking shit about you, and I was the one telling him not to talk shit about you and not to put his hands on me, like he thought he could clearly do without consent.”
As soon as you finish speaking, you regret your words only because of the look that crosses over Tyler’s face. He glances over your shoulder towards the gas station where you assume Xavier and his team still are. 
“That piece of shit,” Tyler mutters, and then he’s moving.
You’re quick to react, hurrying after him and reaching out to grab his arm and attempt to tug him to a stop. It doesn’t work the first time, but the second time it does. “Tyler, stop. You going in there is not going to help anything, it’s just going to make things worse.”
Tyler turns to look at you and you’ve never seen him look so mad before. 
“You’re telling me that guy put his hands on you and tried to come onto you and you don’t want me to go and give him a piece of my mind? Sunshine, he deserves worse than what I can do to him, but I’ll do my best,” he says.
You don’t miss the fact that Tyler manoeuvres your grip on his arm to take your hand in his instead, weaving his fingers in-between yours and giving your hand a squeeze.   
“I’m saying that I already gave him a piece of my mind, T, and I threatened that I’d tell everyone about what he did if he said anything bad about you again,” you explain. 
“I don’t care if he says anything about me, but the fact that he did that to you… everyone already deserves to know what a piece of shit he is,” Tyler seethes. 
You squeeze his hand, then. “I’m sure they’ll find out one of these days, but not today, T, please. I just wanted to come out here and get some fresh air and try and forget what happened.”
Tyler takes a breath and then takes a step towards you, away from the gas station. “Do you want company or do you want me to go back inside and tell the others to hang back inside a while?”
“You’d do that?”
He laughs softly. “Have the last few minutes not shown you that I’d do pretty much anything for you, sunshine? And last night? The last thing I wanted was for you to ride with someone else other than me, but I could tell it’s what you wanted, so I didn’t fight you on it.”
“And what you said over the radio this morning?”
“I missed you and the way you always disagree with me. I just acted on it the wrong way.”
“Yeah,” you nod your head. “You were a real asshole.”
Tyler’s face breaks out into a grin. “Not gonna disagree with you on that one.”
You stare up at him for a moment, honestly surprised at how quickly things had changed between you. Only minutes ago, Tyler was mad at you, then he was mad at Xavier and now he was standing here, smiling at you like you were as bright as the sun. His nickname was fitting for you, you suppose.
“Will you just come and stay with me for a bit? Till whenever the others come out?” You ask, nodding your head back towards the car where you’d been sitting before.
Tyler nods. “I have one condition, though.”
“Name it.”
“You sit in my truck instead, and you come back and ride with me in it again.”
You can’t keep the smile off your face. “That’s two conditions, actually, T.”
“And you didn’t say no to either of them,” Tyler smiles. “Come on, sunshine.”
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moonstruckme · 25 days ago
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Hear me out reader who only feels comfortable getting sloshed/drunk when Remus is there cause she loves that she can trust him enough to take care of her <3 or reader accidentally gets super drunk and remus takes care of her and finds the situation very amusing cause reader usually isn’t this free. love ur work!
Thank you for your request gorgeous!!
cw: alcohol
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 573 words
You’re giggling, nearly hanging off Remus’ arm as you walk a ways behind your group of friends. “I’m really sorry,” you say again, eyes turning up to his with a sheepish smile tickling your lips. “I never usually get like this.” 
“It’s really okay, lovely.” Remus smiles. He doesn’t mind that he has to keep reassuring you, only that you seem to think you have to keep apologizing. “It happens to everyone.”
You’re not even that sloshed, he doesn’t think. Enough to be walking funny and to be giving him far more sweet looks than you would be otherwise, but Remus thinks you’ll still remember all of this tomorrow. All in all, it’s not a bad deal for him. You’ve been clinging to his arm all night, hiding smiles in his shoulder and preening each time he drops a kiss on your head. 
“No, but honestly,” you go on, “I don’t want you to think I do this every time I go out. I don’t usually need taking care of.” 
“I don’t think that,” he says. “Not that I think it’s such a bad thing to need taking care of from time to time, either. Do you want your cheesy chips?” 
You’ve forgotten he’s holding them for you, and your face lights up when you remember. Remus hands them over, watching as you open the takeaway container with your arm still looped through his and steam wafts up to your face. A drunken James had insisted he needed a burger to complete his night, so most of your friends had gotten some snack or another for the walk home from the bar. 
You nearly moan as you take your first bite, and Remus has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I think that’s part of it,” you say through a mouthful. “That you don’t think it’s such a bad thing.” 
Remus hums. “How do you mean?” 
“Well, I just—” You cover your mouth, chewing. “I didn’t set out to get drunk, honestly, but I did sort of have a sense that I could if I wanted to. I trust you.” 
Remus’ chest warms. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” you say, kissing cheese sauce off your fingertips. “I mean, I know you’d always watch out for me if I needed you to.” 
It’s a good thing none of his friends are looking back, because Remus is fairly certain the smile that takes him would earn him at least three days of jokes and teasing. He loves that you feel that way. You and Remus have only been dating for a handful of weeks, but he does want to look after you and it makes him happy beyond reason that you feel safe enough to let him. The kiss he presses into your hair is heavy with affection. 
“I’m glad,” he says. Understatement of the year. 
You curl closer to him, your arm pressing against his through your coats. Remus treasures the closeness. He wishes you were like this more often. Not drunk, necessarily, but free with yourself, with asking for and occasionally taking what you want. 
You look up at him, eyes glittery in the low light. “Would you like a chip?” you ask him sweetly. 
When Remus agrees, you try to feed it to him, missing by a mile. It’s a plot; he lets you kiss the cheese sauce off the edges of his mouth for as long as you like.
917 notes · View notes
retrosabers · 14 days ago
Text
𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄.
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logan howlett x fem!reader
summary: when you wake up sick on your favorite day of the year, logan tries his hand at a romantic gesture
OR the time logan howlett gave you the best at home halloween you could ask for
contains: so!! much!! fluff!! soft logan, friends to lovers, some angst, mentions of past trauma, reader has telekinetic powers, kissing, swearing
!! there’s a scene in here inspired by “room for rent” by @hauntedhowlett-writes ! go check out their amazing work !!
word count: 5.5k (i got insanely carried away)
a/n: sorry for this little period of inactivity!! i’ve been feeling under the weather and lacking some inspiration and motivation, but luckily i think i’ve got my groove back! i hope you all have a happy halloween & enjoy this sweet story of everyone’s favorite wolvie <3
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mutant feelings on halloween were fairly divided.
it was a love or hate kind of thing. many viewed the holiday as a hypocritical mockery; how could humans be so outward in their distaste for mutants while dedicating an entire day to parading around as the very creatures they despised? others, like yourself, saw it as a joyful occasion. a day where everyone could be as authentically themselves as they wanted to be, and not get judged for it.
safe to say, it was your favorite holiday. something you looked forward to every year, especially since you never really got the opportunity to properly celebrate it growing up.
you had the whole day planned out for weeks. your costume decided far before that. much like how a child felt on christmas eve, you felt a similar excitement and anticipation building within you on the night of october 30th.
but it would appear the powers at large weren’t feeling too generous. because at a little bit past 8, your throat started feeling scratchy.
it was easy to blame it on the changing weather, maybe some seasonal allergies if you were feeling particularly delusional. you knew exactly how your body behaved when you were feeling sick, and it always started with a sore throat. still, you snuggled under the blanket in hopes that it would pass by morning.
by the time the sun rose, your nose was blocked and it felt like you were swallowing glass.
so much for a happy halloween.
you stumble out of your room in sweatpants and a cardigan, significantly less presentable than your normal attire. all you wanted was to stay in bed, but there was a group of young students that weren’t going to teach themselves. so you dragged yourself from the comfort of your cocoon, splashed some cold water on your face, and hoped you looked presentable enough.
the glimpse you catch of yourself in the mirror on the way out didn’t appear very promising. it seems your suspicions are confirmed when a familiar face spots you.
“you look like hell,” logan calls from the other end of the hallway. he makes his way over to you in long swift strides, the heavy sound of his boots echoing in the rather quiet space.
“sure feel like it too,” you utter back weakly, your voice hoarse and tired. unexpectedly, the back of his palm presses gently against your forehead, a crease forming between his brows when he feels how warm you are.
“jesus, you’re burning up.”
“funny, because i’m absolutely freezing,” you croak, wrapping your sweater tightly around your body to prove your point. when you suddenly sneeze, everything in the hallway shakes. from the paintings on the walls, to the vases on tables scattered about. you flush in embarrassment and logan frowns.
he places his hand on the small of your back, nudging you in the direction of your bedroom door.
“logan, i have a class to teach,” you argue weakly, followed by a nasty sounding cough.
“you can’t teach them anything if you���re like this the whole time bub.”
silence on your end, because you know he’s right. you just hate caving when you’re feeling under the weather, always trying your hardest to persevere. especially, on today of all days.
“but it’s halloween,” you counter with a whine, on the verge of pouting because you were so annoyed and fed up. “i had a fun lesson about edgar allan poe planned.”
“had the whole damn day planned,” you huff to yourself, though you should’ve known logan’s enhanced hearing would catch it.
he shoots you a sympathetic glance, unlocking the door and motioning you inside.
“i know,” he soothes you with the rubbing of his thumb against the base of your spine. “maybe if you get some rest now, you’ll feel better later, yeah?”
you sigh, flopping onto your mattress dramatically.
“i suppose you’re right.”
logan chuckles at your grumbling against the bedsheets. he makes his way over to you again, brushing away the hair that was stuck to your forehead. crouching down, he presses the sweetest kiss against your temple, and his heart swells at the tired little smile you give him.
“i’ll come back to check on you in a bit,” he promises. “in the meantime, you try and get some shut eye.”
you nod from your position against the pillows, eyes already fluttering shut in hopes that maybe logan was right. you’d feel better in a few hours, and today could be saved after all. in your mind, you were optimistic.
your body, however, had other plans.
before it was even noon, you went through a whole box of tissues, and sneezed so hard and violently that it damn near shook the whole entire floor. any glimmer of hope for getting better was snuffed out quickly, meaning you’d be a prisoner to this bed until you got better in a few days.
when logan came back to check on you, he was surprised to see the state of your bedroom. the usually clean, tidy space was ridden with tissues, your comforter was on the floor, and everything hanging on the wall had been turned every which way. and to top it all off, you were curled on the side of your bed, sniffling with washed out cheeks and a bright red nose.
“do not, say i look like shit,” you warn him, though you lack any sort of intimidation. logan shoots his hands up in defense from his place in the doorway.
“wasn’t planning on it.”
you open one eye and raise an eyebrow.
the corner of his lip turns up in a smirk. “i was going to say your room looks like shit.”
one of your throw pillows feebly comes into contact with his head. not nearly as hard as you intended, but your powers were always a little out of wack whenever your immune system was.
“s’ not funny logan,” you squeak, fully peaking your head out from it’s place in your blanket burrito.
logan picks the pillow up from the floor, mindlessly tossing it between his hands as he walks towards your bed.
“you know i can’t help teasing you when you’re grumpy,” he jokes, coming to sit on the corner of your mattress.
“i’m grumpy because this is my favorite day of the year and i’m stuck in a purgatory of snot and mucus,” you groan. the pout on your face is unmistakable, and logan would think it was the cutest thing he’s ever seen if there wasn’t genuine sadness in your tone.
“why do you even like this stupid holiday so much anyways?” logan questions. it comes out a bit meaner than he wants it to, like he’s making fun of you. it only adds to your upset state, and you narrow your eyes at him.
“because it’s fun,” you bite. “especially when you’re a kid that never got to experience it until you became an adult. i do the same thing every year because it brings me comfort. people like us don't get a lot of that.”
logan knows how true that is better than anyone.
“plus it’s a day mutants don’t have to worry as much,” you continue. “we can be ourselves and it looks like we’re just blending in with everyone else.”
you mumble this last part with a glumness he’s never heard from you before.
“it’s like we’re normal.”
logan doesn’t say anything in rebuttal. he just nods his head in agreeance, letting your words sink in. he never thought about it that way, and a wave of guilt suddenly washes over him for not considering that your feelings about today ran deeper than he initially thought.
the sound of a pill bottle shaking snaps you from your wallowing. your eyes flick back to logan, who’s holding medicine in his free hand.
“stole these from the infirmary,” he gets up to place the bottle on your bedside table, picking up a few stray tissues and tossing them into the small trash can next to your bed. “figured you could use something to help you feel a little better.”
you croak out a “thanks” before that dreaded tickling in your nose starts again.
“oh no,” you whisper, bracing for impact. logan looks at you with a puzzled expression at the exact moment when you sneeze. the entire room shakes, sending the wolverine stumbling back a few paces. there’s a couple seconds of vibration afterwards before everything returns to normal.
after regaining his footing, logan makes a beeline for the bathroom. you hear the faucet running and he returns to you with a glass of water.
he nods at you wordlessly, head motioning back and forth between you and the cup. you sniffle as you shuffle yourself upright. you take the medicine without a word, letting the cold water soothe your irritated throat. logan’s eyes don’t leave your face the entire time. he stares at you with something unfamiliar, to both you, and to him. it makes a new kind of warmth coat your body, one that has little to do with your current state.
your relationship with logan was hard to explain. you weren’t quite lovers, and labeling what transpired between you as friendship didn’t feel adequate. friends surely didn’t kiss each other on the cheek, or occasionally doze on each other’s shoulder during long sleepless nights. it was so painfully obvious to everyone else that there was something between you two.
but knowing logan and his track record of emotional unavailability, you always doubted whether or not he really shared those feelings.
clearing his throat, he dissolves any buzz you were feeling. logan offers you a tight lipped smile before slowly backing away. there’s a part of you that misses the closeness already, but you shove it down.
“if you need anything else, you know where to find me,” he says quietly, his body halfway out the door.
you nod with tired eyes. “thanks again logan.”
he simply nods his head once more before shutting the door completely.
you slink back under the comfort of your blanket, allowing the weight of your own words to take their effect. today wasn’t just special because it was a way to heal your inner child. today was important to you because you could feel safe in a world that normally didn’t accept people like your family. people like you. as cliche as it sounded, it was the truth.
as you try to fall back to sleep, you can’t help but dramatically wonder if being sick today was the universe’s way of punishing you for your optimism. for believing there could ever come a time where people accepted mutants.
it was a silly notion that would have to be pried from your cold dead hands. because though you didn’t have much comfort, you always had hope.
when you succumb to the drowsiness, you dream of being a child that didn’t have to be locked away in a lab on all hallows eve.
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the smell of cookie dough rouses you from slumber.
slowly, you come to, stretching out your tired limbs as you shrug off the blanket that was wrapped around your figure since this morning. you’re still tired, but the fatigue that burdened your body was much less than it was a few hours ago. the medicine that logan brought you had worked. you smile to yourself, remembering to thank him the next time you saw him.
orange light bathes your room in a sunkissed glow, signaling that the day is coming to an end. the disappointment from before creeps its way back in, a reminder that all your plans for today were a wash. you squint your eyes in the direction of your alarm clock, trying to make out the time.
6:37 pm.
it was still early enough that you could try and put on a movie at least. scott, jean, and ororo, were set to take all of the kids trick or treating around 6. you were supposed to be joining them, but from the stark silence that seeped in from under the door, it was clear they were already well on their way without you.
you know it's because you weren’t feeling well, but that didn’t make it sting any less. you stare at the costume hung over your desk chair, and suddenly it feels like you’re a little girl again, sad and disappointed because you couldn’t go out with all the other kids.
maybe next year, you tell yourself.
after a moment of self pity, it hits you just how gross you’re feeling. staying in bed all day always sounded good in theory, but in practice, it just made you feel like a slob. in a flash, you kick all the covers to the foot of the bed, making your way to the bathroom and stripping off your clothes as you went. you were in desperate need of a hot shower, a leg shave, the whole nine yards.
steam cakes the mirror with condensation, the soft sound of water trickling down the drain relaxing you almost immediately. you take your time washing the day away, letting the scalding hot droplets soothe your tired muscles. you stand beneath the stream until the water goes cold, shutting the shower off and reaching for a plush towel.
the cold air of your room erupts goosebumps on your skin. whether it was from the change in temperature, or the fact that your room was now completely back to normal, you’re not sure.
strange. you don’t recall hearing anyone enter. surely this much reorganizing would’ve created some noise, something audible over the sound of running water, but you can’t remember hearing the slightest peep.
you cling to the towel around your body like a lifeline, afraid someone was going to jump out from a corner and startle you. after a quick once over of the room, you accept the fact that it’s empty. your eyes settle on a set of clothes folded neatly on the corner of your bed.
your comfiest pajamas. an old baggy t-shirt with yellow and orange plaid pants.
too tired to question it, you slip them on without a second thought, relishing in the feeling of the soft fabric against your skin. you felt more like yourself than you have all day.
the sweet aroma from before catches your attention again. no one was supposed to be here still, not anyone you’d expect to be baking anyways. curiosity gets the best of you, and you make your way out of your bedroom and down the main staircase to the kitchen.
the last thing you expect to see is logan howlett fussing over a tray of cookies.
he grumbles something incoherent under his breath. probably a swear word or two, given he looked frustrated and out of his element.
“what are you doing?” your voice manages to startle him, a first you have yet to see since logan arrived at the mansion.
the man scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, gesturing to the tray before him on the counter.
“i was uh,” he stumbles over his words. another logan first. “just pulling these out of the oven.”
you eye him mischievously. “since when do you bake?”
there’s a beat of awkward silence that passes while logan struggles to conjure up a logical answer. because no, he didn’t bake, not now, not ever in his life. but what’s the alternative? the much scarier conversation about his feelings?
from the knowing glint in your eye, it might just have to be the latter.
logan sighs. a sound of defeat, coupled with a flash of teeth. he leans back against the edge of the counter, thick arms folded across a broad chest.
“marie helped me put ‘em in,” he admits a bit sheepishly. “was afraid i’d burn the place down if i tried to do it myself.”
you laugh at the memory of scott storming into the kitchen with a fire extinguisher last month after logan tried to cook eggs. it sparks a fondness in your chest, connecting the dots as to why logan would go through all this trouble.
“i’m glad she stepped in before you could manage to start a fire,” you joke, stepping further into the kitchen. it grants you a better look at just how messy it was, from the flour sprinkled across countertops, to bowls thrown askew. your brows pull together in confusion, a question on the tip of your tongue before you turn in the direction of the common area.
your eyes nearly water at the sight.
the living room had been turned into a heaven of pillows and blankets, little tealights placed around the edge of the table in the center. there was a stack of movies nearly as tall as you sitting in the middle, and when you squint, you could make out a few of the titles.
a nightmare on elm street, hocus pocus, friday the 13th.
they were all your favorite halloween movies.
logan comes into your peripheral vision, carefully gauging your reaction with nervous eyes.
“what’s all this?” you breathe out, a surprised smile forming on your face. it brightens even more when you see how shy logan looks from his place against the wall.
“i know you were bummed that things didn’t go how you wanted today,” he speaks lowly, somewhat unsure of himself. it was almost heartwarming to see such a rugged, brooding man be so timid. clearly this was something way outside of his comfort zone.
and yet, he did all this for you.
he looks around the room, stalling on meeting your gaze out of nerves. when he finally does, there’s so much adoration, so much tenderness in your eyes that he’s overwhelmed by it.
it’s something so foreign to logan, but it feels so right. something that he’s unknowingly longed for, and now that he has it, he’s determined not to let it slip from his grasp.
he’s got a little bit of his regular confidence back now. it's evident in the way he straightens himself out, his natural smirk returning.
“figured this might cheer you up a bit.”
the warmth in your cheeks is inevitable. it always was whenever logan was around, but this felt different than your normal exchanges. you thought maybe you had been imagining the lingering touches and stolen glances, that you were a fool for thinking logan could reciprocate the feelings you harbored for him.
but as he stands before you, with a small bashful smile and hazel eyes filled with warmth, you know that it’s not one sided. never was, and never could be.
logan nearly falls over when you jump into his arms, his hands coming to wrap around your waist on instinct. the embrace is unexpected, but not unwelcome. once logan takes a second to get his bearings, his body relaxes and molds into yours, lifting you an inch or two off the ground as he envelops you fully. your own arms wrap around his neck, face buried in his shoulder as you take in the feeling that you’ve wondered about for so long.
“thank you,” you whisper against the fabric of his shirt, smiling into the worn material.
with his enhanced senses, logan can feel the rapid thrum of your heartbeat against his own. months and months of dancing around each other finally coming to a head. he gives you one final, tight squeeze before pulling away, though he makes no move to let go of your body.
when he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and caresses your cheekbone with his thumb, your knees feel like they might buckle.
“s’nothing much,” which was essentially logan speak for “i’d do everything in my power to keep you happy.”
you’re well aware that he’s not the best with expressing how he felt. but this simple, sweet gesture was worth more than any lengthy monologue in your book.
you catch him eyeing your mouth briefly, and you do the same, letting your mind travel to that familiar place of wondering. thinking about how his lips would feel against your own. how they would feel in other places. just as you find yourself leaning in, a kitchen timer buzzes, startling you both.
logan can’t hide his annoyance at the interruption, reluctantly removing himself from you to stop the incessant chiming.
“this damn thing,” he grumbles, shaking his head.
you stifle a laugh when he throws the timer back onto the counter a bit too harshly, sending it bouncing into a stray bowl.
deciding to take the reigns, you walk over and reach for his hand. logan’s eyes widen a bit at your outstretched palm, even more so at the confident grin you wear. he doesn’t hesitate to lock his hand in yours, trying his damndest to ignore the electricity he feels from such a small thing.
“come on,” you nod your head in the direction of the couch, playful sarcasm in your tone.
“we’ve only got all night.”
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“i don’t see it.”
you whip your head in logan’s direction, shrieking out a “what?” as you look back at the tv screen.
“you look just like him,” you argue, leaning forward to grab a cookie from the plate he brought into the room. “it’s uncanny.”
logan laughs to himself, shaking his head at your antics. “you keep telling yourself that bub.”
as the credits of van helsing start to roll, you decide to try your hand at a bit of flirting.
“y’know, you should take that as a huge compliment,” you state, sinking further into the couch cushions.
logan raises a brow, taking a sip of his beer and experimentally scooting closer to you.
“and why’s that?”
you try to maintain your confidence, but logan doesn’t make it very easy. not when he’s a human furnace that’s inching into your space. not when he already makes you warm in the face in nearly every situation.
clearing your throat, you shrug a shoulder, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.
“i had a huge crush on him growing up. thought he was super hot.”
oh. if this is the game you’re playing, logan knows for sure he’ll win.
“really?” he exaggerates, placing his arm on the back of the couch. the tips of his fingers brush against your shoulder, and he relishes in the goosebumps they create.
“mhm,” you hum, eyes not wavering from the screen. “you should be super flattered right now.”
logan chuckles again, reaching for a cookie of his own. he decides he’ll space out his teasing, be a bit generous. you were in a poor position right now, still being a little sick and all.
he’d much prefer to see you really keep up with him anyways. still, he can’t help himself.
“whatever you say darlin’,” he murmurs.
your breath hitches ever so slightly.
jesus christ it feels like this couch is on fire.
you can see his smirk out of the corner of your eye, and you feel like a schoolgirl over the way that one simple word was making you feel so giddy. tucking your legs underneath your body, you shift more to your side so you were now fully facing logan.
as you take in your surroundings, from the coziness of the living room, to the beauty of the man beside you, the inquiry that’s been floating around your head for the past couple hours falls from your lips.
“how did you even know all of this?” you question him while biting the head off of one of the bat cookies.
“know all of what?” he repeats, half of his mouth filled with cookie dough.
“that this is what i do,” you gesture to the television screen and the plate that was sitting on the table. “movies and cookies, specifically these, every single year?”
logan feigns realization, despite knowing what you meant the first time you asked. he was just too self conscious to explain the reason why. his coyness from earlier returns, the apples of his cheeks showing a tinge of pink.
“overheard you talking with ororo a couple days ago,” he begins, sliding his palms over the expanse of his denim clad thighs. “about the movie thing and stuff.”
you think back to that conversation with vague memory. you recall discussing your halloween plans, but never diving into such specifics.
logan answers your next question before you can utter it.
“i asked her this morning what all your favorite things were.” he clears his throat a bit awkwardly. “i wanted to do something once i realized you were sick.”
he trails off, not sure if he should venture into this territory again after his remark from earlier. he moves around so his position mirrors yours, making you both unable to avoid each other’s faces.
“i didn’t mean to be a dick before,” he starts to apologize. you know it’s taking a lot for him to admit his faults, and it makes all the effort he put into this even more meaningful.
“this,” he motions around the room, “was my way of trying to say i’m sorry.”
you tilt your head to the side, eyeing him empathetically.
“you don’t need to apologize for that,” you reassure him, placing a hand on his arm. “though i’m enjoying it. these cookies are really good.”
he smiles a little at your joke, soft crinkles forming in the corner of his eyes.
“i can’t take credit for that,” he admits, cocking his head in the direction of the staircase. “it was all marie.”
the thought of logan recruiting the teenager for assistance was sickly sweet. knowing marie, it was probably her idea to help. you can picture the pair of them in the kitchen, her seeming more like the adult and him like the child.
“still,” you assert. “just the fact that you thought of all this means a lot.”
his thumb rubs featherlight circle on your exposed skin. “it’s nothing, really.”
there he goes again with the undermining.
sighing, you drag your fingers up and down the expanse of his arm, eyes drawn to the motion rather than the man. you feel like your heart might burst if you go a second longer without being a bit more direct. but god was it nerve wracking. especially when logan looked at you like you were the only thing in the whole entire universe.
“this is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” you admit lowly, toying with the hem of his sleeve, too nervous and overwhelmed to meet the wolverine’s intense gaze.
your hand moves towards his again, lightly tracing the outlines of his veins. you muster up the courage to look back up at logan, who somehow moved even closer to you in the 15 seconds you’ve spent fixated on his flannel. the soft glow of the tea lights illuminated the amber flecks of his irises, highlighted the structure of his nose, the curve of his muscles. made him look like something out of a dream. it sure felt like you were in one.
when his hand clasps around yours, you realize that this isn’t a dream. it’s your reality, and you better take advantage of it.
you let ten words convey everything.
“i’m really glad the person who did it was you.”
that’s all logan needs to hear before he decides he can’t hold back any longer. his lips find yours with a tender urgency, like he wanted to savor the moment and devour you whole all at once. the hand that was once on the couch moved to cradle your jaw, just about entirely encompassing the side of your head.
that place of wondering was correct in its predictions. despite all of his rough edges and gruffness, logan’s lips were softer than you ever could’ve imagined. your hands find purchase in the strands of hair at the nape of his neck, your bodies smushed together on the couch. logan wants nothing more than to pull you onto his lap, but he knows that’s more than likely to lead to some rather ungentlemanly activities. no, he wants to do this properly, take things nice and slow. so he settles for keeping his hands above the collar, and from the soft sighs he can hear you let out, it seems to be doing the trick.
it feels like you’re on cloud 9 as your lips move together, your disappointment of today’s plans long forgotten. all you could focus on was how perfect this moment was, how perfect logan felt. his thumb teases the corner of your mouth, a silent command that he wants to explore you further and you open yourself up with ease. his tongue prods between your lips gently, a contrast to the feeling of his calloused palm against your skin.
you move slow and syrupy, not wanting time to pass. if your mutation was time manipulation, you surely would’ve halted it, letting yourself stay in this little bubble of bliss for as long as you wanted.
but of course, all good things must come to an end. because as much as your brain had turned to jelly for the time being, the tiny functioning part that was left blossomed a new worry.
logan fears he’s done something wrong when you pull back quick and unexpectedly, your eyes wide with something he can’t quite place.
“everything okay?” he asks cautiously, frozen in position. the answer you provide is far from what he had in mind.
“i don’t want you to get sick,” you mutter, clasping a hand over your mouth. the fact that that’s what you’re worried about right now, makes logan’s heart flutter a little, as silly as it was.
all of his anxieties fade in an instant, amusement taking its place instead. logan barks out a laugh, probably one of the most sincere sounding ones you’ve ever heard from him.
“what’s so funny?” you ask, confused as to why he’d be laughing when you were dead serious. the saliva swap that just transpired was sure to pass along whatever germs your body was still harboring. the last thing you wanted was for logan to feel as shitty as you felt this morning.
“honey,” he cuts through his laughter, clutching at his sides. “i don’t get sick.”
“what do you mean, ‘you don’t get sick’?”
“regeneration,” he states matter of factly, calming down a bit. “anything that could harm my body, my mutation takes care of.”
right.
for what feels like the millionth time today, you blush. not in flattery, but in embarrassment. you hide your face behind your hands, cursing yourself for halting a damn good makeout.
“i’m such an idiot,” you mumble into your palms. “i cannot believe i just ruined the moment like that.”
“hey, hey,” logan coos, gingerly pulling your hands away from your face. your eyes are still screwed shut, not wanting to face any more ridicule than necessary, even if it was only playful. the feeling of logan’s thumb and forefinger lightly grasping at your chin causes your eyelids to flutter.
“look at me.”
slowly, you open your eyes. logan’s grip on your chin is firm but gentle. it’s to keep you from running from him, forcing you to be on the same level.
“you didn’t ruin anything,” he tells you in the most caring tone of of voice.
“promise?”
logan leans in and gives you a long, lingering kiss. it’s somehow even more maddening than the first one, and your stomach feels like it’s on a rollercoaster you’re not sure you ever want to get off of.
when he pulls away, he shoots you a wink, and you fight the urge to melt on the spot.
“promise.”
he presses airy little kisses to both of your cheeks before settling back against the couch.
“now, where were we?”
you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, watching closely as logan’s eyes lingered on your mouth again. in a flirty move, you tease him by moving in impossibly close, your lips barely a centimeter apart. just as he’s about to close the gap, your press your pointer finger to his mouth, catching him by surprise.
“i think it’s time for another movie,” you sing song, prancing off the couch and in the direction of the dvd player.
you tease.
logan simply shakes his head, beaming at you as you scan over your movie selection. he’s come to know and notice a lot of things about you. the way your nose wrinkles when you get excited. how you take your coffee. the thing you do with your hands when you get nervous. your pet peeves. he finds something new to admire about you every day. right now he’s soaking in the joy that radiates off you in bright yellow waves, unavoidable to those in your orbit.
in that moment, logan decides he always wants to be in the path of their warmth.
when you pad back over to the couch as the opening credits start, you tuck yourself into his side. logan’s arm pulls you close, anchoring you to him in more ways than one. you fit together like puzzle pieces, soon to be inseparable now that you knew just how well you connected.
in the glow of the television and the tea lights, snug by his side, he thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful.
maybe halloween wasn’t so bad after all.
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thanks for reading! <3
bat divider by @saradika-graphics
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mirohlayo · 3 months ago
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SUCH A SIMP
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( The monegasque driver has no problem showing himself to be particularly affectionate with you )
warning : fluff, charles spamming you with messages (but it's cute)
note : race week again bby
word count : 2.2k
Oh. It's funny how the monegasque who seems so confident turns into a real man unable to breathe properly when he's away from you.
A young woman who has only just taken her first steps in the incredible world of F1. You were able to apply for the red team, the italian Ferrari team. A great and majestic racing team whose name demands respect and recognition, especially for Italians. And you had just joined these motorsport gods in F1.
Finally, you are not in charge of the most difficult and relentless job either. You were recruited as a new social media manager, certainly with a lot of tasks to carry out, but undoubtedly a little less important than those of the racing engineers and strategists. However, the media is a source of content that fans of the sport love and your ultimate goal is to create the best videos and content possible for Ferrari.
So little by little, you appeared in the Ferrari motorhome. Your colleagues were starting to remember your face and your name, and after a good three weeks on the job, a lot of things had radically changed.
Firstly, you had integrated well into the Italian team. Good relationships and understandings with your colleagues. And secondly, and not least, a new form... of friendship - if we could describe it that way - was formed between you and the famous Monegasque Ferrari driver. Charles Leclerc.
The young man found himself curious about you, interested in this young new woman of his age who, despite the difficulty of the work, completed the tasks required in no time, a fairly perfectionist quality. It must be said that we can clearly see that she really likes this job. And this had intrigued Charles, who often found himself looking for the young brunette.
With the support of his teammate Carlos, who pushed him to take the plunge to try to approach you, Charles ended up introducing himself to you - as if you didn't already know him in this environment. He approached with a shy, almost nervous smile, while he could not hide his completely admiring, almost affectionate look. He struggled to form his sentences, far too dazzled by your sublime beauty and presence.
You seemed quite shy and reserved at first, and that was the case in everyday life. But that's what made you so charming, and Charles felt his heart beat harder and harder every time he managed to make you smile or laugh, a blush that appeared on your face and that he loved more and more.
You blink suddenly, as you start walking with your shoulders straight again in the paddock. You were so lost in your thoughts, remembering how this friendship between you and the driver had blossomed, that you hadn't noticed that the Ferrari motorhome was right in front of you.
The automatic doors open as you enter the small cube, shyly greeting the employees and your colleagues. “Hey, Y/n.” Carlos smiles at you kindly, happy to see you there. You hadn't set foot in the paddock for 2 weeks already, the team had offered you the opportunity to work remotely. You jumped at the opportunity, the chance to spend some time with your family during the week.
“How were your two weeks away from us? I bet you missed us” He winks at you, knowing deep down that a part of you was eager to get back to work there. "It was great. I got to enjoy a little bit with my family." You smile sincerely, remembering the activities you shared with your parents. “But it’s true that I missed working within the stable itself. And then, I couldn’t wait to see you again.”
Carlos' smirk is evident, his arms crossed over his chest as he smiles more and more. You raise your eyebrows slightly, intrigued by his reaction. "Is something wrong? Did I say something funny?" Finally, he chuckles weakly as he shakes his head. “I’m just thinking about how a certain man here was also very, very excited to see you again” He purses his lips, narrowing his eyes, leaning down to your ear so he can speak in a low voice.
“And although I really like you Y/n, that man isn’t me. Besides, I’m sure he’s currently complaining about how much he misses you.” He stands up straight and gives you another wink, followed by another smirk. You feel your cheeks heat up, blush violently. You try to look away, embarrassed.
You know very well who Carlos wants to talk about. You wanted to deny it, to tell yourself that it wasn't true and that it was only your conscience playing with you, but after Carlos' words, all these questions seem true. "Come on, go. You must have a lot of work, just like me. See you later, Y/n!" Carlos pats your shoulder as he walks further behind you.
You don't know how long you stood there in the middle of the motorhome floor, but long enough for you to think about what just happened. Carlos is always honest, and when he saw you in the presence of Charles, he did not hesitate to make some embarrassing remarks to you, like that the monegasque looked at you with hearts in his eyes or that he particularly liked to seek physical contact with you.
These remarks made you blush and Charles always seemed to become embarrassed, more shy than before as he begged Carlos to leave you alone. Because the Monegasque driver knows that his teammate is aware that he has a weakness for you. More than a weakling, he's literally a simp for you. But he really doesn't want you to know.
Or rather, he would like to but he's afraid of rushing you or of you not feeling the same way. After all, three weeks might be too early for you, but for Charles it was enough to make him completely lovesick for you.
You finally come to your senses, and after checking that your face is no longer completely red, you sit comfortably on the chair in your office. You finally got to work, responding to the last email you missed. A notification vibrated your phone, and glancing at the screen, you saw Charles' name.
You really wanted to continue working seriously, you had promised yourself to get back to work but the notification and the message from Charles were running through your head. So, despite yourself, you grab your phone and open your messages to click on the driver's message. Your gaze softens as you read it, your heart racing.
Charles Lec
I heard you finally arrived to the circuit. can't wait to see you again, miss you y/n :(
see you at the 11 o'clock meeting
The message makes you blush again, more lightly this time. But just with a simple message, Charles knows how to make your heart beat and put you in all your moods. He is charming, funny, and caring. Of course you had to fall in love with him. And Carlos' words said earlier secretly gave you hope. Hope for something deeper.
You were about to respond, but your eyes drifted to the messages he had sent you earlier in the month, specifically during your two weeks of remote working. And reading the messages, that's where Carlos' words took on their full meaning.
Charles Lec
07/06
i just learned that you are remote working, that's why I didn't find you at the paddock
i'm sad that you're not here but you also need to rest during these two weeks :(
miss u a lot
09/06
hello you ;) hope everything goes well.
i don't know if you saw the qualifying but I'm starting the race p11
the race will start soon, I hope you can still watch it
can't wait to see you again, gorgeous
still miss u
12/06
it's not race week but I would have liked to spend these few days with you but you work and you must surely enjoy your family
eat well and don't stay up too late, pretty girl
have a good day :))
14/06
i miss u y/n
i feel like it's been forever since I last saw you
I have already planned a few little things to do when you come back, call me back when you can :)
15/06
hello youu
In 1 week I'll see you again but I can't wait any longer
i think I'm gonna die if I don't talk to you right now
can i call u please? :(
16/06
i did a little workout today and I will continue next week
we see each other again in less than a week and all I can think about is that
take care sweetheart
miss you a lot lately :(
not just lately, miss u always, every single minute of the day
Everything seems to fit together like a puzzle. So Carlos was telling the truth, the man who is so eager to see you again is definitely Charles. Come to think of it, he texted you almost every day. To tell you how much he missed you and that he wanted to see you again, not forgetting to add a few pet names here and there.
This kind of revelation changes everything. Your feelings, the way you think and behave. You were still surprised at the idea that Charles could potentially love you the same way you love him. But there is no doubt about it, after everything that has just happened in a few minutes. And you didn't know if you were looking forward to going to the meeting or not.
But there you are, in front of the door to the small interview room. And as you enter, a little late, almost everyone is there. You can feel several eyes on you, but one is undeniable. Charles is there, sitting, his gaze completely glued to you, totally absorbed and attracted by you alone. He follows you with his eyes, completely in love, while your angelic beauty completely takes his breath away. Oh, he missed your face so much.
You move towards your chair, painfully avoiding meeting his burning gaze. But after all, it's impossible. Why would you want to avoid him, when he certainly feels the same way as you.
So, calmly, you sit down, you take your pen between your fingers, and taking a deep breath, you end up laying your eyes on him. You meet his gaze and there, time seems to stop for a moment. His eyes burn into your face, and your breath catches. But a shy smile, which ends up widening, takes its place on the driver's face. And, shyly, you smile back.
And during this meeting, you couldn't help but glance at each other a few times. And in Charles' head, everything was panicking. He wanted to hold you in his arms and never let go. He wanted to spend every next minute by your side, making you smile and laugh until you lost control. He wanted to stay for hours admiring you, listening to you speak with your sweet voice. He was finally able to live and breathe properly.
The meeting ends, you take a strangely long time to put away the few things you had brought with you. And Charles strangely seems to take care to say goodbye to each of the people who leave the room. So that in the end, you find yourself alone in the room. No one speaks, your gaze each focused on the corners of the room. And finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Charles finally approached you.
So close, that he ends up wrapping his arms around your waist, nestling his face in the crook of your neck. You practically melt in his embrace, as you return the favor, your hands gently caressing his back. “I missed you so, so much.” His voice is muffled. You giggle weakly, and just that little laugh melts Charles' heart.
"Carlos informed me that a certain person here was very eager to see me again, hmm?". Your shy nature wasn't the type to tease people, but seeing Charles like this made him absolutely adorable and you couldn't help but tease him a little. He groans, because he knows that as soon as he meets Carlos again, he will make him understand that he, on the contrary, will never look forward to seeing him again. But for now, he's just enjoying the moment.
"If it's to be able to stay in your arms like this, then yes I assume that this person is me. And now that you are here, you are certainly not going to leave me." And in an overconfidence, he pulls back just enough to place a soft, long kiss on your cheek, while his hands gently squeeze your hips. The sudden touch makes you jump slightly, and your face doesn't fail to show your embarrassment as it turns a pretty pink.
Which absolutely makes Charles laugh, totally captivated by you. But he absolutely didn't expect you to kiss him back, on his cheek already crimson from the contact of your lips on his skin. The room is suddenly filled with giggles, while the two secret lovers, or rather the two idiots in love who see their relationship blossom into something more beautiful, remain there for a while longer, in each other's arms.
And Carlos, who wanted to make his way into the room to collect his Ferrari cap, had observed everything from the doorway. A huge grin on his face, he finally rolled his eyes, amused. “Such a simp.” He whispers these words, which, without a doubt, perfectly reflect reality. Because yes, Charles is just a simp for you.
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chris-prank · 3 months ago
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Home video
Oneshot
Yandere Ceo x GN Reader
CW: NSFW, Dubious consent of sending nudes, masturbation and anal fingering
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Esteban was trapped in a loop. Sitting at his desk, he tried to the best of his abilities to be productive, but quickly the thought of you filled his every thought. So he would take his phone once again, his finger looming over your name in his contact list. Each time, his conscience ended up taking over and he would throw his phone as far as possible on his desk, as if he had been suddenly electrocuted.
He had promised to stop calling or texting you every chance he got. He wanted to prove that he was putting in a lot of effort to get better. So, after dropping the source of his internal torment, the man tried to focus again on his computer, only for the cycle to continue. 
***
He was so proud of himself as he got home that night. He did it! He succeeded in not compulsively contacting you! Esteban could already hear all the praises and words of encouragement you will give him for being such a good boy. 
He waited and waited. The more time passed by the more his excited expression morphed his face into a worried one. You usually answered his text around this hour, so what was taking you so long?!
***
You felt bad. You truly did.
You knew that Esteban was working really hard to control his clingy and obsessive attitude towards you. So you felt your heart dropped when you realized you didn’t respond to his text at the end of your shift. But guilt quickly turned into curiosity when you saw that he had sent you a video one hour after you didn’t respond to his initial message. It had been sent fairly recently and under it was written “Ready for round 2?”.  
The thumbnail was already giving away the content of the recording, even if you try to convince yourself that it couldn’t be that. On it was Esteban, shirtless with his arms out of view of the camera, probably to put it in place. You hesitantly pressed the play button after sitting down on the couch. 
There were some movements paired with slight zooms before he seemed happy with his setup. Esteban walked away from the camera to get into the frame. Lowering his head onto the bed, he arched his back and spread his leg open. His movements were way too deliberate and precise for not to have been planned. 
Despite Esteban’s face being pressed into the mattress, you could still see his lovesick eyes glaring at the camera. It’s like he was directly looking at you. All of his private parts were on full display, giving him an extra vulnerable look in that position. He swayed his hips sensually from side to side, his hard cock following the movement. If you zoomed in, you would have noticed the small drops of precum dripping from the slit and how red his tip was. 
“I-I've been good for you all day… but… you didn’t answer and I just couldn’t wait anymore.” He whined, “You need to know how much I’ve missed you.”
One of his hands went between his legs as he spoke, grabbed onto his cock and he started stroking it. The other one gripped the sheets while slutty moans left his mouth. He looked like he was milking himself and now that you thought about it— he would look really good in a sexy cow outfit.
“I wish you were here Mmmf… with me. So you a-ah could… huff… you could reward m-me.” 
Esteban sped up the pumping motion on his dick as he spoke, all the while he tried to move his hips to hump his hand. 
“I’m just a… Nnnf… slut. Ah! I just Ngh… want to be fucked by yo—” He had bitten his lips, the wave of pleasure making it hard for him to speak. 
You swore you saw his asshole open slightly and clench onto nothing. Your intuition was answered to be right as his left hand tentatively brushed against the curve of his ass to finger himself. Since Esteban didn’t have anything to hold his weight anymore, his face got pressed even more into the mattress. His words and moans were coming out partially muffled because of it. 
“I want Aaah… I want you so badl— Ngggh.” 
His finger successfully found his asshole and had begun circling the entrance. It didn’t take long before Esteban pushed two fingers inside, not wanting to waste any more time. It went in with such ease that you suspected him to have lubed it in advance. 
Unconsciously, both of his hands started to move at the same paste in a rhythmic pattern. When he would stroke back to the base of his dick, his other hand would pull out of his hole. Then the same thing would happen again, but in reverse. 
He looked adorable when his eyes rolled back as the combination of sensations coming from both his ass and cock was getting too much for his poor brain. It was also getting harder for you to comprehend what he was babbling out, but you rejoiced in the sounds he made nonetheless.
His movements became more messy. In this hazed state he had to force his fingers out of him to focus both of his hands on his dick instead. Esteban gripped his shaft and started making a tight twisting motion, pulling additional moans from him. His body was covered in sweat with all the effort he was putting into this private little show, for your pretty eyes only. 
You knew that it was all a sign that he was inching closer and closer to release, and you were soon proven to be correct. You knew your good boy well after all. 
“I’m Mmm gon’ c-cum—”
He cried out your name in a high-pitched whine as he came, coating his stomach and the sheets with thick ropes of cum. He bucked a few more times in his hands, before gradually slowing down his movements. 
"Aaaah…Ngh... n-nngh..."
He lay motionless for a few seconds, except for the occasional shudder of his legs. He painfully got up, every one of his movements seemed slowed down. When he got closer to the camera, you could finally see his messed up face in all its glory. He had drool leaking down his chin, his cheeks were red as if he got slapped and you could see traces of dry tears on his skin. He gave you a weak smile, then the video stopped.
You were left there, in the complete silence of your room, after witnessing the most toe curling video of all time. You slowly clicked on the call option while getting ready. This was going to be a long night. 
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
I hope this satisfied the thirst of the Esteban simps 😌
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galene-gothic · 4 months ago
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𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱
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˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES
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Today we'll take a look at:
- your surface level personality/image
- your inner world
- your soul energy
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︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You seem to be struggling a lot and even others can see it or at least that’s your image. People think that you have an unwelcome community or no community at all. Even if you have friends, they could leave you out or you feel that way, or others can witness it or this is something of the past. You may feel a strong need for a sense of belonging which could lead to you overextending and being very welcoming, and gullible. However, despite this, you seem to be a bit isolated and seem to need solitude. You seem to be pretty comfortable with being by yourself. You definitely have those who think you are ‘all talk, no action’. People think that you’re judgmental and also have a tendency to overthink, that you have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people. There are people who think that you have unrealistic ideas without much planning or preparation. All of this may have been discouraging to hear but one thing is that you’re not perceived the way you actually are and that is okay, you are currently waiting for some sort of change but you’ve learned how to be patient by now. It’s not like you’re ‘all talk, no action’, you’re just patient and taking things one step at a time. You have learned how to go with the flow and are doing so for now, it’s just that others aren’t being able to see how you’ve cleared obstacles one after another and have had major expansion in comparison to your past. Your hard work is paying off little by little but you’ve not received all the rewards yet. Continue celebrating how far you’ve come, others just don’t know anything about you and your life. They think that you’re not doing well mentally and emotionally, that you’re at a rock bottom. It’s funny how people have such different perspectives of you than who you truly are. You look at it as even if those endings, hurt and situations were hard, you transformed a lot from it and you’re still in a transition period. You’re still letting go and changing. You’ve not fully gotten used to the new beginnings but you’re having a lot of them. Despite the negative feelings that tend to come forth, the fear and sorrow, the cycles have finally ended.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
YES!! I’m so happy, I was right! Those who think negatively of you based on your surface level personality believe the same about themselves. They think that you’re ‘all talk, no action’ because they know they themselves are ‘all talk, no action’. You have a really rich inner world. At this point, you value balance, i.e. giving and receiving equally. Two people can go through the same or at least similar situations and turn out to be completely different. I wonder if you come from fairly humble beginnings, your family or you had a bankruptcy, you didn’t have a parent so you took up a lot of responsibilities, you grew up with your guardians instead of parents, started earning young or weren’t given much money (it could be a situation similar to all these examples). Even if you did come from a well off family, there was some sort of instability. There was a point when you probably didn’t have anything or didn’t have much. Also, you seem to have lost a lot, many people, things or you may not have had much to lose to begin with. I’m definitely getting that you felt unsupported by others and alone. I’m getting this in every sense, i.e. financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. Your health was bad at that time too. You didn’t look good physically (because you weren’t) and neither did you feel good internally. The loss of connections at that time was the worst thing that they could have done to you because these people definitely weren’t doing things for the sake of their peace or anything of that sort, they wanted to create chaos and pain for you. This is your confirmation that they wanted to break you down, they wanted to knock you down to a peg. You are too kind and strong though, despite all the difficult times and changes, you went within yourself to find answers and move forward. Despite all the distress that you had to experience, the moment you gained just a little more stability, you started wanting to give to others and become more good charactered. You’re grateful for what you have and try to treat everyone equally, and with respect. You already share resources from the good of your heart but you’re focused on your investments, you’re focused on building your money. You’re trying to be responsible and are generous, kind and truly valuable because you value the right things, and you also try to grow and live by certain values, morals and virtues within yourself. However, your past still is affecting you mentally because you were thrown under a bus and you’ve gotten used to thinking about it 💀. The metaphor I’m getting is that you were strolling with your group of best friends or your lover (possibly both) you had their best interests at heart and thought they had the same for you too but suddenly, in the blink of an eye, you were thrown under a bus. It was really difficult to even comprehend, the wheels crushing your bones, the confusion, until you eventually passed sway and when you woke up, you didn’t have those loved ones around you, you found out that your feet aren’t working anymore, you didn’t even receive a call from them to ask about your whereabouts and needs but instead, they started making memes about how you’re unable to walk now. You were hurt, betrayed, lonely but little by little, you tried to walk and even though it took you some time, you started being able to stand by yourself, then you started walking until you were finally sprinting. That’s just a metaphor but it was not an exaggeration, whatever those people did to you was the same level of betrayal that I’ve written in the example above (regardless of whether you realise it or not). You have a scary deal of determination but you also have a lot of energy towards those situations (in the form of aggression and anger) even if you don’t realise it.
You’ve had many revelations and still continue having them. You’ve started seeing the truth about past people and situations. All of you here lead different lives but you’ve learned how to find abundance right where you are. Some of you have good connections, some of you are progressing in your careers, some of you don’t have either of those but what you do have is that inner abundance. You have a strong desire and even daydream (possibly even literally dream) about community, healthy love, a happy family, a happy relationship, good friendships, etc. You already feel as though you have a fairly supportive work and personal environment. You’ve learned how to be emotionally content without experiencing all the highs and lows just because they might be exciting. You value belonging and long term commitments. Despite this, there are times when you get excessively negative though. You have a tendency to hold onto trauma and haven’t fully escaped your past yet. You can definitely feel a bit bitter at times. You also have a tendency to at times, let your emotions overpower your logic and at other times, let your logic overpower your emotions. Emotionally, you love unconditionally but your definition of unconditional love isn’t unconditional as in “even if you disrespect me and don’t love, I’ll still love you” but instead it is “I care about your well-being even when I’m angry at you”, “I love and respect you even when we are fighting”, “I accept your shortcomings for you are also a human”, “no matter how much we change, I’ll always love and devote myself to you”. Your emotions are also something that helps you express yourself better. When you love someone, you wish to express it wholeheartedly. You love everyone like a mother would their child, you’re incredibly giving and have a universal love. I wouldn’t be surprised if recently you’ve developed a love for kids or at least, you always have had compassion for kids and felt strongly against beating kids to discipline them, etc. You’re divine, not only do you love like a mother would their child but you also love like a child would their mother. For a child, their parents are all they know and usually even though times are changing and women work too, fathers still aren’t that actively engaged with kids, so it’s the mother that the child is strongly attached to. When you love someone, you give all of yourself to them and expect the same from them. You also have a praise kink ahahaha. It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, I’m openly claiming to be one of your kind 😔. You have an innocent way of loving and desire to have people praise you. You are fun loving when you love people, with both friends and lovers. You trust them and can be quite naive to be honest because a child does usually naively trust people and especially they trust their own mother blindly. You’re extremely affectionate and tender, also so sensitive to little things. You could have had a parent, guardian or teacher not prioritise your gift to them or brush your affection off at least once if not multiple times and you’ve unconsciously carried it with you. It was especially bad when you were younger, if someone didn’t react the way you wanted them to, you would feel hurt and it would just make you think. You also develop a psychic connection with those you love, trying to and almost always successfully understanding their wants and needs. You are the type to send soft messages, say kind and sweet words, play around, touch them innocently, etc. Gosh, we don’t deserve you. Just looking at your inner world makes me want to love you and desire your love.
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Your soul is going to have to deal with a lot of pessimistic moments. However, the best way that you’re going to learn how to deal with them is by being optimistic. You’re going to experience the most exciting situations going sour and turning out wrong. It’s all so that you learn a certain level of detachment and realise that it’s not that you can’t control anything, it’s that nothing can control you, it’s not that you can’t own anything, it’s that nothing can own you. Just the way the cloud covering the sun doesn’t mean the sun isn’t there, that the sun isn’t the sun, it’s just a cloud that will pass by in its own time. Anything that causes you to not be yourself, anything that causes you to not be seen as yourself by others, i.e. the brightest star in our universe, it’s going to pass by in its own time too. Your soul has signed up for trying multiple times. Which means that your soul has also signed up to experience failures before you finally succeed. You’ll notice that the way your life works is - first you go down, then you eventually rise up, then you go down again and while most people would stay down, you rise up even higher. You’re someone who doubts people’s loyalty and well, unfortunately your soul has signed up to deal with conflicts here and there in your partnerships so that you can work through the trust issues that you’ve carried throughout other lifetimes. You’re going to have to learn overtime that a lost love isn’t real love because real love wouldn’t give up on you just the way you wouldn’t give up on them. Your soul is here to grow and expand, past all these issues. You’re supposed to learn how to just be, to just live in the present moment without any reservations and fears. You’re supposed to put your past behind and move forward while applauding your baby steps and how far you’ve come instead of being all impatient. The cycles that you experience, especially in the earlier stages of your life will come to end with many delays. There are going to be days when you’re left empty handed, also days when you won’t see major wins as victories. Don’t blame yourself for having been emotionally attached to your past at some point, you are supposed to learn how to not waste your life away for moments that have fleeted away. You’re supposed to learn how to not seek closure, how to find closure within people’s character and actions. “Pay attention to people’s actions and you’ll never be fooled by words.” You’re going to suppress pain and anger at some point, eventually overcoming a lot of trauma and emotional pain. You’re going to learn how to free yourself from unnecessary emotional energy and are going to forgive yourself, others and situations for the sake of your own peace. There is definitely going to be a point when you refuse to move on though. Until you finally accept the truth of the situation and move forward with strength. If you’re single, it’s because your type is yourself 😔. You’re emotionally mature, compassionate, caring, empathetic, wise, tolerant, loyal, devoted and passionate, and these are the same qualities that you desire in a partner. You strongly desire the affection of someone who’s emotionally mature and intelligent, and makes a good counsellor. You want to have a partner that’s better than you in some way so that you can learn from them. You want to be able to act like a brat at times. You want them to be empathetic and kind, and understand the matters of the heart by themself. You want them to be open to supporting others and especially you. You want a kind and respectable partner because you are the same way and growing to take on more and more of that identity.
︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You seem to be exploring multiple possibilities and options, often finding it challenging to choose a single path. This can lead to confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed by the choices in front of you. However, this exploration is a crucial part of your decision-making process. People might perceive you as indecisive or lost in daydreams but in reality, you're weighing your options and considering all possible outcomes. You may find yourself feeling stuck or encountering delays. Your usual swift movement and energetic pace might seem hindered. This stagnation can be frustrating, leading others to think that you're not making progress. Despite this, you are learning to adapt and move forward at a different pace, which is necessary for your long-term growth. It’s essential to understand that this period of slower movement is temporary and will eventually lead to greater momentum. You still need more experience for spirituality, emotions and love. You might feel hesitant to express your emotions fully, leading to misunderstandings or perceived miscommunications. Others might see you as inexperienced or lacking in depth in these areas. However, this is a period of learning and growth for you. You're developing a deeper understanding of your emotional landscape and how to articulate your feelings better. This phase is crucial for your emotional and creative development. You have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people, reminds me a lot of the previous pile, you may have been drawn to it. You may be too busy on certain aspects of your life which leads you to not having time to focus on the other aspects. You seem to lack direction right now but I would say that as long as you have your priorities straight and make decisions from your heart, you’ll be fine. I think that you have a slow moving body, you seem to give slow reactions but there are other days when you give impulsive and hyperactive responses? It’s quite endearing honestly. Supposing a football was about to hit you but it hit the wall instead, on some days you’ll just stand there and not react much, not even say anything, just blink a few times and go on with your day while on other days, you’ll be like “if this ball had hit me, I swear whoever kicked it!” while waddling around the football field. I’m getting that while others may not fully understand your journey or the depth of your experiences, it is clear that you are on a path of significant personal growth. Keep celebrating your achievements and know that you are progressing, even if the rewards are not yet fully visible. Your hard work and patience will eventually pay off, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
This is crazy. Much like the previous pile who were perceived a certain way by other people but were strongly of substance. It’s the same for you. You’re incredibly humble naturally but you still make the conscious effort to maintain and create more humility within yourself? I’ve just started reading this part but I already respect and admire you so that speaks for itself. You could have a few conservative beliefs here and there or just views that are considered to be ‘conservative’ but are actually just basic human decency? It’s very natural for you, you have these qualities innately within yourself and you unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously look for these qualities as well. You really value loyalty ‘stereo heart’ by Gym Class Heroes is playing. You’re not exactly satisfied with your current state of wealth, status and success but you still continue to carry yourself with your head held high. You want something more but you’re not underestimating the journey to get there. You understand just how precious the present moment is and you try your best to appreciate it to the best of your abilities. You’re committed to your present duties and responsibilities while still reaching for more because you understand that doing the best with what you’ve got is the only way to live a life without many regrets. You’re very human and you accept that, that’s a great part of your charm. You know that regrets are inevitable but you still try to make the most out of life. You’re very reliable and loyal. You have dreams but know how to have realistic expectations or even if you have big dreams and unrealistic expectations, you internally have the awareness of that so you aren’t discouraged when reality isn’t living up to such dreams, hopes and expectations. Plus even if you have big dreams before starting to work on a certain goal, once you start the goal, you’re able to appreciate your little steps. You also become very duty focused and wanting to do the best so instead of focusing on what you don’t have, you end up feeling good about how much you do/did and what you did manage to have. “Mindset so good even my failures are a success.” You are strong willed and are currently more interested in financial stability than romance. I’m not getting it being anything superficial. You’re an incredibly well rounded person who would love a stable and loving connection, it’s just that you are a person who understands that you have this one life to live and you don’t want to have a futile life where you didn’t even make the most out of your own potential. Also, your goals seem to be more within your reach than romance. You want romance and relationships in general (platonic ones as well) to not be forced so you’re just patiently working on yourself. You have a grounded approach to success as well.
You aren’t the type to be like “once I become rich, I’ll hang out with successful and rich people, I’ll fly in the sky and forget everyone”, instead once you become successful, you’ll make sure to give credits to those who deserve it. “Thank you for instilling me with such values in the short time that we spent together, I promised to lead a virtuous life back then, maybe not out loud but within myself to honour you. You deserve a large chunk of credit for my success and once again, I promise to lead a virtuous life.” Once you’re rich and successful, you’ll be sure to bow down to those who serve you, to the community, to those who have raised you, to those who are younger, to those who are older, to those who are growing. ‘End of beginning’ by Djo is playing. I feel like there was a certain group of people that you really loved. The feeling that I’m getting is a childlike warmth and fun. It definitely seems to be a whole community with one person or a few people being the most memorable. You seem to have a lot of love for people in general and now that you’re growing, you are more appreciative of those who raised you and taught you certain things despite their own shortcomings but these people touched you on a different level in a very short time. It’s not like you don’t have appreciation for those you’ve grown up with and those who have always been around you or anything like that, it’s just that the tenderness, warmth yet firm boundaries and tough love you received from this community or maybe a certain person/group of people within this community has caused you to become more soft internally yet firm in your approach to the world yet kind, and very comfortable with your internal values of loyalty, living life to the fullest, stability, being virtuous as though it’s your duty, etc. I just heard that their humble and down to earth ways gave you a new life. They seem to be people who you are not around anymore but the warmth and love that they gave you and you have for them remains within you. This is so heartwarming. Some of you may think that you were at your worst when you received their affection, warmth, kindness and love, and it is true for many of you but just think about how loveable you must be to be loved so tenderly, warmly and deeply when you were at your worst. Due to your desire to be a certain kind of character, when you feel as though you didn’t live up to such ideals, you have a tendency to be a bit hard on yourself. You may have felt as though you had really strayed away from your morals at that time, that you had failed to maintain self respect, respect for others, your own morals and values which led you to being a disrespect-able person at that time but think about it, just how respectable of a person you must be to be respected and loved by such kind, courageous (because it takes courage to be kind and loving) and respectable people.
You deserve the world, you’re so precious. You have practical goals and planning, you’re also working hard and remaining patient right now. You’re a diligent person who is creating a stable and strong identity, and future for yourself. You try not to slack off your habits because you understand that your habits make up your identity. Think about it like this, if I smoke for a few days, that might be just for fun, due to peer pressure or something but soon that smoking will likely turn into something more, an addiction to say the least. Soon enough, my identity becomes that of a smoker. “Galene is a smoker.” Externally and action wise, you seem to be pretty well tempered. While, you may get angry here and there, when it comes to even big things, you just deal with them instead of complaining. You’re approaching life with optimism and passion. You also have your own personal philosophy through which you go through life. You’re pretty flexible right now and are just trying to be more harmonious, and cooperative. You are not aware of it but you have a lot of faith in the divine timing of things. You naturally believe and act as though things will turn out to be fine in the end, and are being pretty calm about whatever might be happening. You are just trying to remain grounded and in flow with life. You’re trying to stay true to your purpose and seem to be able to find contentment right where you are, even though you’re trying to reach for more. You have become pretty divine ahaha, you have a natural love for humanity or at least act with it. You’re looking at your life as your journey and just going through it, doing your best. This is very specific but I’m picking up on a man or a guy? I’m not sure who this is but at least one or two of you have learned from them to the point you have become them to a certain extent. Is this someone from that community setting from earlier? This person has affected you positively though. I’m getting something about your standards here. This person has raised your standards significantly. You look for stability, efficiency, mental strength, discipline and safety in your romantic connection and connections in general. This person was really wise and you’ve grown to be really wise. You have always been wise but just hadn’t been able to embrace that wisdom but you are doing so now. You also look for wisdom in your companions especially within your partner. This person looks incredibly sexy when angry. You are both very passionate individuals but your fuse used to lose when you were around them but regardless the connection between the both of you is beautiful. There was a telepathic bond. “Real recognises real”, they recognised your greatness at the worst time of your life. You have grown to become a lot like this person, likely because they actively tried to instil certain qualities, values and virtues within you. They did so because they had faith in you. Be grateful, you’re such a great person, you have great people see your brightness even when you are at your dullest.
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Your soul’s energy is one where your mind is often filled with hesitation and uncertainty. There are moments when you feel a lack of inspiration and motivation, which can make it difficult to start new projects or pursue your passions. This might lead to frustration and a sense of being stuck. However, this energy also leads to teaching your soul the importance of patience and the value of waiting for the right moment to act. It's a lesson in finding your inner spark even when the world feels dim. There’s a layer of complexity to your mental energy. It signifies that your mind is deeply influenced by your relationships and connections with others. You have a strong desire for harmony and unity, and your thoughts often revolve around how to maintain balance and peace in your relationships. This can sometimes lead to overthinking and indecisiveness as you weigh the pros and cons of every situation. However, it also highlights your ability to understand different perspectives and your commitment to nurturing meaningful connections. You are someone who was probably a victim of thinking about others before yourself due to how much you loved them (in the past). Your physical energy and actions are marked by a tendency to be cautious and sometimes overly defensive. You are meant to struggle with impulsiveness and a lack of direction in your actions. You will find yourself starting many things but not always following through. This is going to lead to frustration and a feeling of unfulfilled potential. However, this energy also brings a lesson in self-awareness and the importance of planning and thoughtful execution. You’re someone who is deeply involved in the present moment with those you love. Wanting to delve into that love, indulge it wholeheartedly. Due to this, you create really sentimental connections and memories. Even after you grow, you will find yourself functioning from a very childlike form of love and connection, not just that, your actions will be very childlike too. This is going to manifest in all ways, you’re going to be loving and affectionate like a child, sensitive like one too (to the actions and words of those you love) and also having fun, playing, and finding joy in simple things like a child.
Which is why, at some point, you’ll find yourself being deeply connected to your past. You will often find yourself reminiscing about earlier times and drawing comfort from familiar activities and routines. This nostalgia will hold you back from fully engaging with the present at some point, but when you learn how to deal with it and be present, it will provide a rich source of joy and grounding. Embracing the lessons from your past will help you build a more secure and fulfilling present. Emotionally, you tend to hold on tightly to what you have, whether it’s material possessions, relationships or beliefs. You might struggle with letting go and trusting the flow of life. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a fear of change. However, this energy also teaches you the value of stability and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being as you grow. You’re going to have nurturing and sentimental connections that might be short term, likely in community settings, most likely not romantic because you’ll love everyone from that community due to how warmly you feel towards them but leave you touched forever, you’ll learn really valuable lessons from them. You’re have probably already experience deep emotional wounds and heartbreaks in this lifetime. These painful experiences shaped your emotional landscape, leading to moments of sorrow and grief. However, this energy also signifies great healing and growth which leads to lesson being learnt. Through these challenges, you are going to develop resilience and a deeper understanding of your emotional needs. This reading is a reminder that while pain is inevitable, it also paves the way for greater compassion and empathy. Your soul is on a journey of profound transformation. The challenges you face are opportunities for growth, teaching you patience, self-awareness and the importance of emotional resilience. Embrace both the light and dark aspects of your soul’s energy, as they both contribute to your unique and powerful journey.
︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You are often perceived as hopeful and idealistic. You possess a sense of optimism and vision for the future that others find inspiring. People see you as someone who looks beyond the present difficulties and focuses on what could be. This perception can lead to others viewing you as a dreamer, someone who is always seeking out new possibilities and ways to make the world a better place. Your ideas are often seen as refreshing and uplifting, even if they seem a bit out of reach at times. People may feel that you have a unique way of thinking and that you bring a sense of calm and guidance, much like a beacon of light in the dark. However, this idealistic nature can sometimes be misinterpreted. Some might think you are unrealistic or too detached from practical concerns. They might see you as someone who spends too much time dreaming and not enough time acting on those dreams. This can lead to misunderstandings about your true intentions and capabilities. Despite this, your hopeful outlook and ability to envision a brighter future are strengths that set you apart and make you a source of inspiration for those who truly understand you. You are perceived as someone who has faced hardships but is in the process of recovery. They think that you’ve been through periods of struggle, possibly related to health, financial stability or general well-being. Others see you as someone who is working hard to overcome these challenges and improve your situation. This perception can evoke sympathy and admiration, as it shows your resilience and determination to rise above difficult circumstances. On the surface, people think that you have experienced exclusion or abandonment in some form, yet you are gradually finding your way back to stability. They notice your efforts to rebuild. This can sometimes be seen as a sign of vulnerability but it also highlights your strength in acknowledging and addressing your difficulties. People admire your tenacity and the steps you are taking to regain control of your life, even if they don’t fully understand the extent of your journey. Emotionally and spiritually, you are seen as someone who values deep connections and harmony in relationships. You have a strong desire for unity and mutual understanding. People perceive you as someone who is compassionate, loving and capable of forming meaningful bonds with others. Your emotional energy is often focused on creating balance and fostering positive interactions, which can make you seem very approachable and caring. You are seen as someone who thrives in partnerships and collaborations. You might have a partner right now? If not, when you do have love interests or even just talk about love, you talk about it in a very pure manner. Whether in friendships, family relationships or romantic connections, you are viewed as a person who brings people together and seeks to maintain harmony. They see you as someone who sometimes prioritises others’ needs over your own, sometimes to your detriment. While your surface-level personality and image may be misunderstood by some, it is clear that you are a person of depth, resilience and compassion. Your mind is a source of hope and inspiration, your actions reflect a journey of recovery and determination, and your emotional world is centered around creating loving and balanced connections. These qualities make you a unique and valuable presence in the lives of those who truly see you for who you are.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
You’re healing and you’re aware of that. You’ve made some transition and you can feel the shift but what I need to tell you is that you don’t realise that you’re over it all. You are over it but it does not feel like so because not everyday is a fun, roller coaster ride. You’ve undergone empowering emotional changes. You have learned from your mistakes and have found the strength to move forward. You might be realising or may have realised that a lot of the love you received in the past was false. You may be realising that the love you felt then was the love that you were back then? I’m getting an acceptance of the fact that you almost always (if not always) got the shorter end of the stick. You’re interested in living originally, being true to yourself, instead of worrying about what people will say or what’s considered to be orthodox, or the right way of doing things. You have a strong sense of blind faith, as in you know that you’ll be fine? This blind faith doesn’t even seem religious, it’s just innate, it’s because you have great faith in yourself and the flow of life. You’re still changing your views as you’re still learning. “Maybe the happy ending was developing humility while still being proud of myself.” You have developed great humility in the past few years. You are going your own way. You don’t really have mentors or teachers, you’re just doing what you need to do, with whatever resources and knowledge you save or can find. While, you are humble and changing your beliefs, you’re not bending to other people’s beliefs because you have a knowledge of the kind of belief system you possess and wish to move forward with. Many of you contemplate religions a lot. You seem to know that there’s a higher power but for you, religion is trying your best to lead a righteous path. You’re also someone who is working really hard. You tend to get consumed by your work. Also, you prefer it being this way, you like to work in a space where you can be completely devoted, in a way you can be completely devoted, in a field that allows you to do so. Currently, you may not realise how much you’re doing because you’re doing multiple things. You should be more graceful with yourself. You lack elegance in the way you speak to and about yourself. You are critical of yourself and feel as though you fail to present yourself the way you wish to. You wish to be more refined in the way you present yourself. You should be a bit careful, you may be building great success little by little, you may end up with a lifestyle that is really hard to maintain. You’re putting a lot of emphasis on prioritisation and time management because you’re balancing multiple projects plus life outside these endeavours. When you work, you don’t just do things, you devote yourself to it, you pour your all into it. So when you work, you naturally end up putting a cherry on top of all that you were asked to do. You seem to be quite busy. I need to remind you that you don’t have time to waste but please take time to yourself.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this but please don’t start your day with TikTok or Instagram reels, there’s a lot of negative content on those platforms, it’s going to drag your vibe down. Your decisions require adjustments, even in your daily life because you have a lot to do. Everyday, you assess security, risks, calculating and speculating everything. You may be struggling with laze right now but despite this, you’re persistent on your path and growth. You have an inner satisfaction and contentment despite not necessarily being happy. You’ve learned how to think about yourself and put yourself first. You’re very reliable still and are willing to work for connections but now, you’re learning how to be more patient and less controlling with how things flow. You’ve also reached a point where if something is interrupting your peace, you just block it and try to shift your mindset to something better. You’re naturally very patient with people so you are keen on not letting those who are takers and talkers, and not givers and doers enter your life anymore. You’re practical and responsible so due to this, you consider the emotions of those around you. However, now you’re at a point where you don’t try to look at things from other people’s perspective anymore, you just remain practical and try to remain grounded within yourself. When you start focusing on the negative, it becomes really difficult for you to get out because it just pulls you in. You’ve learned a lot about life, you’ve learned how to live, you’ve learned how to be in the world and of the world. You still have slips here and there but I would say that you’re doing pretty well. You’re working for what you want. However, no matter how much you achieve, you feel like there’s always more to reach for, please take the time to assess and make sure that your desires come from the right place and mindset. You seem to be greatly committed to your career, goals, study and growth more than anything. As much as you would love a stable and healthy connection that you can just delve into, if you can’t find something, a connection worth investing in, you’re not interested in putting yourself in compromising situations. You’re emotionally attached to growing. You also tend to feel guilty when you don’t work or miss out on work for a few days due to your desire and almost a need to be, and feel as though you’re remaining consistent. You’ve value a bit more of a conservative approach to connections. You value fidelity, loyalty and strong yet humble, and grounded character in both you and the other person. You wish to have connections that are real, that are grounded, where you’re not looking at your phone when with each other, where you write and receive letters, give and receive flowers, and share and buy each other books. The conclusion is that, you’re very committed to and focused on your own growth and career, and when it comes to connections, you only want those that are long term and stable with trustworthy and reliable people. You’re doing well, all the best going forward!
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Right away, you’re bound for success and recognition. Your soul is on a journey of mastering inner peace and clarity. You'll face moments of conflict and competition in this lifetime, you likely already have but instead of being drawn into battles, you'll learn to seek harmony and understanding. You’ll experience many conflicts regarding competition besides the usual ego clashes. However, the thing is, as ambitious and growth focused you may be. I forgot to mention in the ‘inner world’ part of the reading but you value recognition and status. So, as much as you may care about these, you have a very grounded approach to these. You aren’t necessarily competing with people, you’re simply just trying to achieve what you want while you are going to have people in this lifetime who will compete with you over anything and everything. In fact, in the past, you may have been accused of being the competitive and inconsiderate one when in reality even your friends have been really competitive with you at some point. These experiences are here to teach you that true strength that comes from inner calm and being cooperative on the surface. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still very competitive, it’s just that your approach to competition is different. Due to how much others have competed with you, you may have felt the need to be competitive in the same or similar way that they were but you realised that you have an inner abundance that you used to function with but have gotten out of touch with. You’ll get back to your original approach to life and achievements, realising that it’s not about winning every argument or competition but finding peace within yourself and fostering it in your surroundings, regardless of whether or not you get what you worked for. Just as the clouds pass and reveal the sun, your challenges will pass and you'll shine even brighter. You’ll stop associating your self worth with how much you achieve. In your physical pursuits, recognition and success are just destined. Your hard work and persistence are bound to pay off and you’re going to have to celebrate many of your victories. Right now, you’re learning to accept compliments, praise and appreciate yourself and your achievements without doubting your worth. This phase of triumph is here to teach you the value of perseverance and self-belief.
Remember, it's not just about the accolades; it's about the journey and the resilience you've shown. Your soul has signed up for these moments to empower you to take bold steps forward. Emotionally and spiritually, your journey is deeply connected to love and meaningful relationships. You are here to experience profound connections that go beyond the superficial. Your soul seeks unity and balance, integrating different aspects of yourself to create a harmonious inner world. The lessons of love will teach you to make choices that align with your higher self and to embrace the healing power of love. Your soul's growth involves understanding that real connections are worth every trial and triumph, and that true love never gives up. You wish to merge with your loved ones especially romantically. You have a loving and considerate spirit that’s very genuine in nature, and you want to love people as if they were you, as if you are one. You wish to work with their best interests at heart so naturally, you wish to be loved in such a way too. You want to love people who see and treat you, and your connection like team and teamwork instead of working with self serving motivations. Your loving spirit is something that you’ll notice, never dies. You continue loving deeply despite how many times you may hurt because that’s just who you are. Gosh, you’re precious, never change yourself. Overall, your soul is on a transformative path, learning to find peace within, celebrate your successes and embrace the power of love. Each challenge you face is designed to help you grow and evolve. As you navigate through conflicts, rise in your achievements, and deepen your emotional connections, you'll discover your true strength in harmonizing your mind, body, and spirit. Trust that every step you take is leading you toward a higher purpose, and embrace the cycles of ups and downs, knowing each phase is a crucial part of your soul's growth and expansion.
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frillsand · 1 year ago
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What jobs did Wally and friends do before becoming actors?
Before they became actors ✨🎥✨
I’m going to use this question to give more information from when they were younger. Before their lives as actors, they all lived in a secluded neighborhood where they all met over the years, with Wally and Barnaby meeting first as neighbors. Wally was often in charge with looking after younger kids because it was a small community and Wally just happened to be great with kids. He played a big role with them, serving as a kind of mentor. He usually spent his time entertaining the entire neighborhood when he wasn’t with his friends. As far as he could remember, Wally always knew he wanted to work with kids. He loved teaching them, singing to them, their energy, the brightness he felt when he knew that he was helping their path to the future, everything. It’s hard to dislike small beings that have never done wrong.
So when Wally got older, he decided to move to the city where he would pursue his dream of having his own children’s show. His friends, believing in his dream and not wanting to stay in that small community forever, went with him to help any way they can.
So here are the jobs that they had before their big break.
Howdy Pillar was a construction worker
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Eddie dear was a Milkman,(it’s not as cool as a mailman but whatever)
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Julie swept hair up at a hair salon.
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Frank worked at the public library
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Sally was part time at a small shop in the local mall.
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Barnaby worked long nights as a bartender
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Wally was a secretary to a very busy newspaper company. Often working 7 days a week nonstop
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Poppy had a difficult time keeping a job and was fired multiple times so they all decided that she was to stay and take care of the house while they were away. She would pack lunches for them everyday and kept the apartment clean. The parental instincts are strong in her with her being the oldest. 💖🌸
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Unfortunately moving to the city with no money , set them into debt quickly and with puppets being paid less, made it more difficult to keep up with expenses.
But they’ve stayed fairly happy nonetheless
Friends to Family trope if I may. I don’t think this counts as found family( my mind is slipping away more and more each day)
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lqveharrington · 1 year ago
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Silver Roses & Fallen Roses
2: The Capitol Zoo (masterlist for series)
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summary: With the Games getting closer, Coriolanus must get his tribute to trust him. But, who knew that the Capitol Zoo would give your relationship with him issues.
pairing: young!Coriolnaus Snow x fem!reader
warnings: jealousy, coriolanus being manipulative, coriolanus hurts reader (on accident), death, mentions of death, mentions of blood, a little fluff, ANGST, grandma’am being protective, italics are flashbacks
word count: 5.2k+
a/n: this might be one of the longer pieces i’ve written in a while. this chapter is definitely a lot and it took so long to finish. things are starting to change within their relationship, and i will advise, it will go downhill from here.
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Red. Rouge. The color could be and mean many things. It could be love, the color of the Academy uniform, or rage. It could be strength, revenge, or a shade of lipstick. But in this case, red meant jealousy.
You have always hated jealousy as a trait. It was never a pretty sight. In fact, you could only recount two times you were ever jealous in your life.
Once was two years ago, before you and Coriolanus were ever dating.
Funnily enough, you were jealous of Clemensia.
Dean Highbottom announced another research project that was worth 40% of your semester grade. Typically, you and Coriolanus were paired up together for assignments like these. However, you were given random pairings. You were happy when Highbottom pulled out your name and Sejanus’. It had been a while since you two worked together. Yet, when the next two names pulled out were Coriolanus and Clemensia, you felt an uneasy emotion stirring inside. One you have never felt before.
Everyone switched seats to be seated near their partners. Sadly, Sejanus sat far from you, causing you to gather your things to move. Within that same moment, Clemensia slid into the seat you once occupied, adding another strike to the emotion settling in you.
“Y/N,” Sejanus smiled at you, letting you take your seat. “I’m relieved I got to be partners with you.”
“You and me both.” You return the smile, slipping a clean sheet of paper out. “Shall we get started?”
As soon as you started to come up with ideas, your gaze drifted toward the opposite end of the room, watching Coriolanus and Clemensia work together. They seemed like they were having fun working with one another. Clemensia grabbed his forearm at a joke Coriolanus made, making your blood boil. You knew you shouldn't feel this way over your two best friends, but when it came to being millimeters away from your blond, it shook you.
“Are you… Okay?” Sejanus poked your shoulder, a concerned expression etched across his face. “Your pen looks like it’s going to explode with the way you’re gripping it.”
You look away from the sight right before Coryo looks over. “Sorry, I was… Distracted.”
“I bet.” He chuckles, earning a curious look from you.
“What do you mean?”
Sejanus tilts his head in your direction, making a subtle gesture to the blond. “You’re jealous.”
“Am not.” You frown, scrawling nonsense on the paper. “I was merely looking at them.”
“With a scowl on your face.” The curly-haired male pointed out. You flush at the observation, rubbing your face. “I doubt anything will happen, you two are as thick as thieves.”
Your eyes return to Coriolanus after listening to Sejanus’ words, meeting his water colored eyes. You smile at him, earning one back before Clemensia stole his attention again. With a fading smile and the unfamiliar feeling settling in your stomach again, you focus on the work given.
When Dean Highbottom released your class, you bid a quick bye to Sejanus before heading to the courtyard. The weather was fairly nice, and all the other students were already filling the area. You make your way toward the willow tree planted by the courtyard’s corner. It was the same place you always were, reading a book. Usually Coriolanus was with you so you could read to him, but you assumed he would stay with Clemensia.
Opening the book to where you left off, your focus was solely on the book and trying to push the feeling away, not realizing Coriolanus was just a few feet away from you.
“Where’d you go? I was looking for you.” He jogged the last few steps.
“I figured you were to hang out with Clemmie, since you’re suddenly all lovey-dovey with her.” You mutter out, not looking up.
“Excuse me?” He took a seat next to you, giving you an incredulous look. “I was not lovey-dovey with Clemensia.”
“Yes, you were.” You frown again, taking a quick glance at him. “You were the entire class.”
“Now why were you watching us instead of working on your project with Sejanus, beautiful?” Coriolanus took your chin with his thumb and pointer, forcing you to look into his eyes.
“You have no right to call me that at the moment.” You push his hand away, shoving your book back into your bag. “Good bye.”
He studies your features for a bit, piecing the pieces together. “You’re jealous.”
“What?” You whip your head at him, using an accusation kind of tone. “I am not jealous of you and Clemensia.”
“You are jealous.” Coryo smirks in your direction as you furiously flush red. “That’s just confirmation.”
“I’m not jealous, Coriolanus.” You cross your arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You really are jealous.” He raises a brow when you say his full first name. “You just have to admit it.”
“I’m not jealous of you two. I’ve never been jealous in my entire life.” You stand, Coriolanus following. “So how can I possibly be jealous of you and your blossoming relationship with Clemensia—”
“Just say that you’re jealous.” He puts a hand behind your back as he guides you through the courtyard. “You’re jealous that she’s going to spend more time with me, and that I’ll replace you with her as my favorite person…”
“I’m your favorite person?” Your eyes slowly light up, trying your best not to show it.
“Only if you say you’re jealous.”
“Never.” You lift your chin a little higher. “I’m not jealous.”
“What a shame.” He leaves your side for a second, turning around to face you. “All you have to do is say you’re jealous or I’ll go find—”
“Fine.” You mumble, looking away. “I’m jealous.”
“What was that, beautiful? Couldn’t hear you.” Coryo got a bit closer, leaning toward you.
“I’m jealous.” You shut your eyes, earning an airy laugh from him.
Coriolanus pulled you into a small hug, pecking the top of your head. “Cute.”
The second time you were ever jealous was at this moment in time.
You were told by Tigris that Coryo went to talk to his tribute earlier this morning. What you did not expect was him being in the zoo cage with his tribute.
All you wanted was to have breakfast and leave, but your father made you watch the live casting.
You blankly stared at the host of the Hunger Games as you caught Coriolanus’ platinum blond in the background of the television.
“That’s right! All twenty-four of them— What in the gem of Panem? Is he..? That’s an Academy rouge, no?”
Multiple emotions gnawed on the inside of you. You were terrified that something was going to happen to him in the cage, but at the same time he was looking at her as if his life depended on it.
“Excuse me! Hello, sir! Yes, you, in the red. Who are you and why are you in there with them? We’re live.” Flickerman gestures to the camera as it focuses on Coriolanus.
You study your boyfriend’s face, realizing he was talking to Lucy Gray.
“Isn’t that something?” Your father remarked. “Now why would your boyfriend be in the cage along with the other tributes?”
The look on your face never leaves as Flickerman continues to ask questions concerning Coriolanus’ safety. After a few seconds, Coriolanus slips a flower behind the girl’s ear. It wasn’t just any flower. It was one of Grandma’am’s white roses.
He takes Lucy Gray’s hand and gets closer to the camera. They started to answer questions Flickerman was asking and that look Coryo was giving his tribute never left his face.
At this point, all you could see was red.
Coriolanus never gave you one of Grandma’am’s beautiful roses or looked at you like he was so ever in love to be near you. And what completely set you off was the way Lucy Gray leaned into your boyfriend’s figure, Coriolanus wrapping an arm around her waist.
You rolled your eyes at his gesture, standing from your seat on the couch. “Turn that off. It’ll only do damage to the household’s eyes.”
Your father raises his eyebrows at you, shutting the television off.
Taking your bag and fixing your Academy uniform, you leave the Lovett Manor.
You enter the car that was taking you to the Academy, muttering a good morning to the driver.
“Are you okay, Miss Lovett?”
“I’m fine.” You look out the window, slowly passing the trees decorating your driveway.
A beat passes.
“How can he do that?” You ask the driver, fiddling with your silver necklace.
“Do what?”
You huff, twisting the chain. “Be so close to a tribute.”
“He is smart, Miss Lovett. He might be strategizing with her to win the games. Isn’t your father’s deal still on despite the change for the Plinth prize?”
“I guess.” You mumble out a response, jealousy continuing to bubble as your thoughts keep going back to the pair. “I called his cousin to see if Coryo and I could walk together today, but she said he was talking to his tribute. I guess talking to your tribute involves holding your hand and tucking important roses behind their ear.”
The rest of the car trip was silent, only the sounds of passing cars filling the space.
Arriving at the Academy, you thanked the driver and headed into the building. You weren’t one for letting comments and looks get to you by others, but it seemed as if everyone was judging you today. There were whispers everywhere you turned and points in your direction, only provoking your current mood.
“Miss Lovett, if I can see you.” Dean Highbottom calls for you before you enter his class, making you curious.
“Yes, sir?” You clutch your bag a little tighter.
He sighs, “Did you somehow convince Mr Snow to talk to his tribute which caused him to be put into the zoo cage?”
“No. I haven’t talked to Coriolanus at all today.” Your face is as hard as stone, showing zero emotion. “Why? Is he in trouble?”
“Oh, most definitely, Miss Lovett.” He pauses, seeming as if he was going to add something else but refrained. “I would suggest you take your seat, classes are about to start.”
You enter the classroom, not questioning your professor any longer. Silently take your seat next to Sejanus, frowning at the empty seat to your left.
Time agonizingly passed on. Highbottom gave out a textbook assignment which, he said, would take the majority of the class. It would be until forty minutes later that Coriolanus showed up to class. By this time, you were annoyed at the fact he was late. He was never late. And being late to class for talking to a tribute just made the situation worse.
The doors slammed open as Coriolanus walked inside, taking a few seconds to look for your figure. You never dared to look up at his icy stare, doing your best to focus on the papers in front of you.
“Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow.” Dean Highbottom did not bother to look up. “Which amongst them endangers Capitol students—”
“What, who?” Coriolanus interjects, stopping his movements.
“You and your dear Miss Lovett.” He retaliates. “I’m meeting with the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor immediately.”
You look up at the mention of your name. What did he do that could possibly endanger you?
Coriolanus stood by his seat, deciding to argue with the Dean. “You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away.”
“I’m putting insubordination as well.” Highbottom mutters, scratching the violated rules onto a paper.
Arachne looks at Coriolanus with distaste, placing her pen down. “Introducing her to people? Holding her hand when you have a girlfriend, Coryo? You make it look as if we’re one of the same as those animals.”
The grip on your pen tightened at her unneeded comments. The red encasing every fiber of your body once more as your classmates argued. You really started to hate Lucy Gray.
“Coriolanus didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.” Sejanus jumps in to defend his best friend.
“I don’t need your help Sejanus.” Coryo lowers his voice, taking his seat next to you.
He laced his hand with your left, making you freeze.You glance at him but don’t meet his eyes. You purse your lips and remove your hand from his, pushing it away from your lap.
You could feel his stare from your side, making you shift uncomfortable at the now high tension between you.
If Coriolanus had been with you earlier that morning, you would’ve welcomed his touch. However, you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of doing something highly dangerous then coming back straight to you. Especially with the addition of being close with such a tribute.
Yes, you wanted to feel his comfort, and yes, you regretted not staying the night at his penthouse. But right now you couldn’t look at him without thinking of what you saw earlier.
Coriolanus hid a scoff at your behavior, choosing to rest his hands on the desk instead. He didn’t like to be ignored by you. You were his and obviously something altered your mindset if you acted like this.
Suddenly, Dr. Gaul appeared from the top of the classroom, slowly descending the stairs while reciting a kind of poem.
“Snow fell down in the cage. It fell down in the cage, but it landed.” Her eyes found the blond’s face, noticing his attitude to the female to his right. One she noticed during the reaping the other day too.
A small silence filled the room while Coriolanus slowly shifted his gaze to the doctor. “On stage.”
Her wicked smile appears on her face, “You’re good at games. Maybe one day you’ll be a game maker like me.”
“Not if the games continue at all.” Highbottom interjected, turning back around to face Dr. Gaul.
“Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow’s in that zoo?” She gestures toward Coriolanus, eyes flickering to your face as well. “And I came here to ask your star mentor a question.”
The attention goes from Dr. Gaul to the male sitting beside you.
“What are the Hunger Games for?”
Coriolanus takes a second before answering, the gaze of his classmates heavy on him. “They’re to punish the Districts for their uprising. To… commemorate the end of the war—“
“Commemorate the dull, dull, dull.” She runs with her words, her raspy voice making it sinister. “Punishment can take myriad forms. Why not drop bombs? Cancel Food shipments? Stage executions? Why games?”
“Shouldn’t we be asking ourselves whether or not they’re right in the first place.” Sejanus replied instead of Coriolanus, making your head snap up to the Plinth. “Some of those kids were two years old when the war ended. The oldest of them were only eight!”
“Sejanus—”
“Ah, Miss Lovett.” Dr. Gaul called, catching your intention of stopping Sejanus’ ramble. “Tell me. What are the Hunger Games for?”
You pinch your hand, looking between her staring eyes. “To remind the Districts of the Capitol’s power and lack of remorse for the war they started. To show that, if pushed hard enough, humans will do whatever it takes to survive.”
Dr. Gaul clapped her hands at your response, her crazed smile only growing. “I like this one! She understands what the Hunger Games are for.”
You bite your tongue, doing what you could to show no emotion for the unnecessary praise.
“Unlike you, Mr. Plinth. That sort of sympathy might mess with your mentoring assignment.” She says in disapproval.
“Perhaps the Capitol students are ill suited to be mentoring tributes. Perhaps the game's time has passed.” Dean Highbottom attempted to talk about ending the games again.
“Dean Highbottom is wrong. My classmates too.” Coriolanus stands, taking another look at you before shifting his attention to Dr Gaul. “Maybe Sejanus is onto something here. Maybe we should be viewing those tributes as human beings.”
You frown at your boyfriend. It seemed like he didn’t want the Hunger Games to continue yet he defends his stance like he needs them to continue.
“I mean, you saw those kids at the zoo. They wanted to get to know Lucy Gray—“
You let out a fake laugh. One that was quiet enough so that not everyone could hear, but loud enough that those sitting around you and Dr. Gaul could hear. You earned a curious look from Dr. Gaul and a glare from Coriolanus in the process.
“If we need people to watch, we should be letting them get closer to the tributes before the Games. To make the stakes personal.” He finished, a prominent scowl replacing his once calm face.
You cross your arms and legs, watching the wall clock as they continue to converse about the topic. You lost interest the second he mentioned his tribute’s name. You could feel Coriolanus’ stare on you as he and Dr. Gaul went back and forth in their conversation.
“— Lucy Gray may not win in the arena… But if you just give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth prize that can win people’s attention.”
You caught his last bit, rolling your eyes at the mention of the infamous songbird.
Dr. Gaul hums, straightening her back. “I’d like you…” She flicks her eyes to your profile. “And Miss Lovett to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow.”
Your eyes widen at her, sitting up at the idea. “Dr. Gaul—“
“Wait.” Clemensia stands, hands lightly hitting the desk. “You mean you might actually use his, their ideas?”
“If it’ll help the ratings, why not?”
“Coriolanus,” She said loudly, trying to get as much recognition as the two of you. “And I are class partners. Dr. Gaul, we do all our assignments together.”
The doctor chuckles at Clemensia’s added comments, entertaining the idea. “It’ll be an interesting test.”
She took her leave, and it seemed as everyone in the room relaxed at the missing presence of the head game maker.
Coriolanus takes his seat next to you again, bringing his head by your ear. He felt you tense under him, making him release a quiet but bitter chuckle.
“Meet me in the library.”
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“What the hell is wrong with you?” Coriolanus pulled you behind one of the shelves, gripping your arms.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Coriolanus.” You try prying yourself off of him. “Let go.”
“No.” He hardened his grip. “You’re being weird—“
“I’m being weird?” You throw your head back, laughing at his irony. “You were in a cage, locked with fucking tributes. Who knows what could have happened to you? You could have died.”
“I didn’t.”
You tilt your head, a fake pout on your face. “No shit you didn’t.”
“Don’t talk to me like that.” Coriolanus got so close to your face that you could see the rage in his eyes.
“What are you going to do about it?” You crease your brows. The hands that held you in place started to hurt, but you couldn’t let that stop you now. “Tigris said you were just going to talk to your tribute, not follow her into where they’re being held.”
“I need her to trust me—“
“I’m not fucking done, Coriolanus.” You try to get out of his grip again. “You gave her one of your grandmother’s white roses, held her fucking hand, and looked at her as if she were the best damn thing that ever happened to you.”
“Is that what this attitude is about?” He scoffs at your childlike nature. “You’re jealous over my time spent with a District tribute?”
“You never looked at me the way you looked at her.” You seethed. Your silver necklace dangled over your collarbone, the light hitting it which caught Coriolanus’ eye. “And you never gave me one of Grandma’am’s special roses.”
The male looked back into your eyes, processing your words. “I need this girl to trust me. The only way for her to trust me is if she believes I cherish her. I want to win the Plinth prize. And according to the Dean, the way to win is by getting Lucy Gray to know someone still cares about her, even if she’s sent to her death. The people of Panem need to love her.”
You roll your eyes once more at the mention of the girl, “What good is winning the Plinth prize knowing you’re killing innocent people?”
“That’s not what you said to Dr. Gaul.”
“I don’t think I had a choice on my words spoken to her!” You almost scream, feeling tears welling in your eyes due to your boyfriend’s harsh grip. “Let go of me, Coriolanus. You’re hurting me.”
Something in him clicked, letting go of your arms.
You back up into one of the tables, wincing at the sudden sting. Coriolanus stepped close to check on you, suddenly feeling bad for holding you as hard as he probably shouldn’t have.
“Beautiful—“
“Don’t touch me.” You whisper as you rub your arms. “Don’t you dare.”
Coriolanus stops his actions, “Y/N…”
“I don’t like the Hunger Games.” You stare into his eyes, letting tears well into your eyes but never letting them fall. “And I can’t do anything to stop it. But I’ll try my very fucking best to get my tribute out of there alive and treated like a human and not as a spectacle for the eye.”
You shove his shoulder as you walk away from him, leaving the male in the library on his own.
“Fuck.” Coriolanus groaned, running a hand through his hair.
The rest of the day, you did your best to avoid Coriolanus. You would walk with Clemensia to classes or sit on the other side of the room if you had to. That was the first time he actually hurt you. Both mentally and physically.
You went into the restroom during your lunch break, removing part of your uniform to check the skin where Coriolanus gripped you. The skin was bright red and no doubt would be purple in a few minutes. Tears welled up in your eyes again but you refused to let them spill. Not for the same reason.
When classes ended, you took the fastest way you could to the Capitol Zoo, your bag filled to the brim with food, water, and medicine for your tribute. You knew your tribute was extremely sick and the chances for her survival were higher if she got any better.
You were the first mentor to appear at the Capitol. Although not the first visitor. Many parents and their children were staring at the tributes like they were animals. You did your best to avoid the camera set up right at the front, heading to one of the corners of the exhibit.
Lucky for you, Dill and Reaper were already situated in that area.
You were quickly able to gain their trust through the food and the medicine you brought for Dill. The three of you conversed about almost everything. Especially Dill. She wanted to know everything about you.
You offered her and Reaper more food as the young girl continued to question you.
“What about her? Are you friends with her?” Dill pointed to Arachne.
You shake your head, “More like acquainted. She’s not my favorite person I’ve ever met.”
“Good. She seems mean.” She grimaces at Arachne teasing her tribute with food. “Mm, what about that crazy man?”
“What?” You crease your brows, a confused laugh coming from you. “What crazy man?”
“That one.” She gestured to a blond, blue-eyed male. “The one who followed us in here. Is he your friend?”
You subconsciously grab your silver necklace, wrapping a finger around the charm. “He… Yes.”
Dill’s eyes lit up at the beautiful necklace, “That’s so pretty! Where did you get it?”
Smiling at her enthusiasm, you take it off and show it to her. “Coryo—“
“Who’s that?” She held the charm in her palm.
“My,” You hesitate, glancing at his crouched figure. “He’s my boyfriend.”
“You have a boyfriend?!” She practically shouts, jumping to her feet. You catch the necklace before it can fall out of her hands, slipping it back on. That medicine really helped her.
The people around you look over, making you flush red at the sudden attention. “Dill, honey—“
“Who is it? Is he also a mender?” She continues to jump and down. “Is he here right now?”
Coriolanus catches your embarrassed state, tilting his head at what the young girl could possibly be talking about.
“He is, but Dill, you can’t announce it to everyone here.” You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, rubbing your arm from the sudden pain it emitted. “And it’s mentor.”
“Well which one is he? Is it him?!” She points to Sejanus, making you chuckle.
You catch your lover’s eyes, watching his own eyes drift down to your arm. The small smile on your face fades and you look down, clearing your throat.
“No, not him.” You hand her your last water bottle and shut your bag. “If I tell you who it is, do you promise not tell the rest of the tributes?”
“I promise.” She crossed her heart. “Who is it?”
You gesture for her to come closer, whispering into her ear. “It’s the crazy man.”
“Really?” She whisper-shouted back, looking at Coriolanus. Dill looked back at you and noticed your bothered face, “What’s wrong?”
“We had a fight today.” You mumble, dusting your skirt off. “We didn’t leave off on a good note.”
“Oh.” She held your hand. “Hopefully you make up! Even if he is crazy, he’s crazy smart. So are you! I just know you two will be married and have beautiful children and—“
Screams fill the air, cutting Dill off. You quickly whip your head toward the noise, finding Arachne being held by her tribute. Reaper came back over to pull the young girl away from you while you were pulled away from her by two peacekeepers.
“What’s happening to Arachne?” You strain your neck to look over, watching blood pour out of her neck. “Oh, god— Oh my, god.”
Shots were being fired by peacekeepers, killing the tribute that attacked one of your peers. You pulled yourself away from the peacekeepers and rushed over to her. Although you weren’t the closest with Arachne, you were still going to try your best to help her.
“Arachne?” You kneel by her, holding her head. “Can you hear me?”
She sputters out incoherent words, the glass bottle still pierced into her neck.
“You’re going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.” You do your hardest to stop the bleeding without hurting her even further. “I’m sure someone is coming to help—”
“Beautiful—” You feel a pair of strong arms pull you away from Arachne’s body, her body slowly becoming lifeless.
“Oh, my god.” You drop your hands, letting the arms pull you up. “I can’t— She just—“
“Baby, I need you to breathe.” Coriolanus turned you around, holding your face in his hands. “Breathe with me.”
You shook your head, Arachne’s blood covering your hands. “Her family needs to— She’s d–dead. Her parents—”
He wiped the tears you didn’t know were falling from your face. “It’s not your fault. I need you to breathe, okay? Can you do that?” You suck a shaky breath in and release, shutting your eyes at the encounter.
“Okay, good. A few more.” He continued to brush the tears off.
Coriolanus made sure you could breathe properly before leading you further away from the Capitol zoo. You tried to not get any blood on Coriolanus’ school uniform and tried to stop the flow of tears.
Admittedly, you hated how Arachne acted, but you never wanted her to die because of it. But her action toward the tribute was wrong and she paid the price for it. At least, that’s what the voice in the back of your mind repeatedly said to you.
“Do you need me to take you home?” Coryo took out water from his bag and wet some tissues, rubbing your hands.
You mumble a small no, sniffling from all your tears spent today. You assumed the tears were from what happened before and that Arachne’s death was just the trigger for it. You were still upset over Coriolanus and Lucy Gray and the way he treated you earlier. But those thoughts were pushed and locked into a small chest. You needed to be with him after what just happened to a classmate.
He looked at you with somewhat concern, “Are you sure? I can—”
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Your glassy eyes met his, catching his worried look. “I can’t spend tonight alone.”
Coriolanus threw the tissues away in a nearby trash can, “Always.”
You let him pull you into a hug, forgetting that he hurt you physically and you didn’t want him to hold you.
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“It’s starting again.” Grandma’am walks over to the table you, Coriolanus, and Tigris were seated. “This is how it begins… The war.”
“It was my fault. I suggested we get closer to the tributes.” Coriolanus says in a distant tone, his hand in yours.
Your head rests on his right shoulder, dressed in one of the robes Tigris made you. You let him fiddle with your hand, feeling him trace his name over your palm.
“You’re just lucky that your songbird and that sickly girl didn’t attack the both of you as well.” Grandma’am gestured to you.
“They’re not rebels, Grandma’am. They’re just girls.” Tigris looks down at the table, her voice wavering at the thought of the poor tributes.
“Trust me. Lucy Gray hasn’t been a girl in a long time.” Grandma’am shook her head, Coryo’s eyes snapping up to hers. “Outside of this Capitol, they’re savages. One and all. However they may smile, they will use you. You must use them. Or you’ll end up dead in the trees like your father.”
You squeeze Coriolanus’ hand at the mention of his deceased father, feeling him tense under his grandmother’s words. You loved Grandma’am, but to say something about her grandson’s dead father to get his act right did not settle right with you.
As the night grew longer, Tigris eventually escorted Grandma’am back to her room, squeezing both yours and her cousin’s shoulders.
“Don’t let him stay up all night for this.” Tigris told you, hoping you would knock some sort of sense into him. “Good night.”
You smile at her before shifting your attention back to the male to your right. “You heard your cousin.”
Coriolanus had his left hand now resting on your leg, occasionally moving his hand up and down to keep you awake. “You’re supposed to help me with these thoughts, you know?”
“I know.” You give him a sleepy smile. “I’ll help. I probably won’t have the best ideas, but I’m here as moral support.”
He chuckled at you, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Best moral support ever.”
You ended up falling asleep the second he got to the fifth paragraph, head resting on the papers he already filled out.
But you and Coriolanus knew something between the two of you shifted. And you both knew it. Why?
Because he had yet to apologize for hurting you earlier.
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hearts4chriss · 8 months ago
Text
Watch ur mouth.
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toxic!chris x fwb!blackfem
prompt: your out at a party with Chris ( wearing top left corner ) and you start to piss him off, flirting with guys, ur tits nearly being exposed already had pissed him off and on top of that ur attitude he apparently didn’t like, so he fixes it for you
ok so this wasn’t requested but she asked for the part where you flirt with a guy so - @buckys-cumdumpster 💋 semi requested
Contains: sub!reader!, rough!dom!chris!, face fucking ( hip thrusting ), car sex, stomach bulge, missionary, overstimulation, creampie, HEAVY degrading, pet names, hair pulling, dacryphilia, cum eating, unprotected sex ( don’t do this !! ), dumification!kink, mentions of safeword ( not actually used ), dirty talk,
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lord.
Chris and I had been talking for a bit and he always manages to do some shit to piss me off and yet here I am. Going to a party with him after he just got on my nerves.
Nonetheless, this meant id have “a bad attitude” Chris calls it which already annoyed me so I decided I was gonna fuck with him.
I wore his favourite outfit on me the pants hugged my curves making ass pop out and them being low rise showing my dermal piercings and the fitted jacket made my tits look good as I didn’t zip it up all the way and this outfit would always result in something sexual, fingering or his cock buried inside me butttt I wanted to push his limits too see how far he’d go.
I finished my makeup and spraying water and putting curling products on my hair only zipping up my jacket too my lower boob allowing my tits to sit perfectly guaranteed too drive Chris crazy .
I grabbed my lip gloss and heard chris honking outside and I stepped out and hopped into his car.
Chris's eyes immediately shifted to my exposed chest and shifted his facial expression.
What did I tell you about this outfit? Chris sighed deeply gripping the steering wheel tightly and I smirked too myself already getting a rise out of him
Im wearing it like what is ur problem? I snap back running my fingers in my hair as it curved at my ass guaranteed to drive him insane.
I watch his jaw clench as we ride in silence before pulling up too this party he dragged me too.
I got out the car walking into the party disappearing in the crowd of people leaving Chris with his own thoughts.
The party had been going on for just about an hour and I had been lost in the music and alcohol. Nonetheless I wasn’t drunk but something tells me Chris was not going to be happy.
Playin games by summer walker & Bryson tiller played and immediately I rush too go dance, slowly moving my hips to the song.
this lasted before a guy, who was fairly attractive comes behind me moving my hips with his as I leaned back resting my head on his shoulder.
I look around the room and my eyes lock with Chris’s, he looks like he could explode any second, gripping tightly on his beer.
Chris’s pov
Is she fucking kidding me? I mean come on I’m way better looking than he is and he’s not even doing it right.
I know she’s only doing this to piss me off because of our little argument earlier. But fuck she looks so good
And she knows that my favourite outfit on her, the way it rests on her lower waist allowing her dermal piercings to show and how the pants hugged her curves outlining her ass just how I like. And then the fitted jacket to match- the way her tits rested from how she zipped it I wanted to bury my head in between them and inside of her
I watched how she moved her ass on his crotch and my blood boiled, knowing that’s supposed to be me, she’s mine, only I can touch her and fuck her as good as I do, hence why she’s never left.
Then she locked eyes with me and continued doing what she pleased? This women.
She shouldn’t have done that because she has no idea what I’ll do to her, god it just turned me on thinking of everything I was about to do to her. One thing I knew for sure.
I was gonna tear that ass up.
me clueless I didn’t really pay attention to Chris, I was consumed by alcohol and the sensual loud music filling my ears and shooting through my body.
Until I felt familiar hand, grip my arm.
“Let’s go”. Chris’s voice lingers on my neck pulling me away from the guy who quickly scoffed moving onto to another girl. What an ass
“Chris Chris ur pulling my arm!” I wince as he drags me out the party due to nobody paying attention and to the car pinning me on it with my stomach on the hood.
“You think that shits funny?” He says in almost a mocking tone before leaving a harsh smack too my clothed ass and I let out a yelp.
“Answer me I’m not playing with you.” Chris spoke lowly before repeating that same action.
“Chris okay okay! I’m sorry! I whimper and he chuckles standing me up.
"better, now get in the backseat". He demands and I follow and he climbs in shutting the door.
"I’m sick of ur attitude, you need to learn how to watch ur mouth". He grips my throat and I gag and nod.
"gonna put it to good use". A chuckle falls from his lips as he man spreads unbuckling his belt and I position myself between his legs.
"useless come help me yeah?" Chris rolls his eyes playfully and I sit up my nails clicking with his belt and pulling his pants down with his boxers allowing his hard and thick cock to spring out and hit his stomach.
The tip was a deep pink just oozing with pre cum.
"gonna suck this dick so good yeah?" He says spreads his pre-cum on my lips and I nod before sitting up.
"Nu uh, were doing my way, ur gonna take my dick the way I want". Chris smirks slightly before pulling my hair making my throat take al of him.
"Fuck- love that pretty mouth on me shit-" he groans matching my movements with his aggressive ones as he yanks my hair quickly and roughly not giving me time in between.
The slurping sounds of my mouth and his cock were almost pornographic as tears in my eyes already producing, Chris's moans shooting right to my core pulsating for him to be buried inside me.
"That's right be a good little slut and take it". Chris rests his head on the plush seats gripping my hair as he bites his lip my doe watery eyes meeting his seductive gaze
His hand gripping my hair forcing me to take all of his cock in my throat as a mixture of my salvia and his pre cum coats my lips and dribbles down my chin.
"Keep those pretty eyes on me, I wanna watch you- " he groaned as I peered at him through my lashes as he began thrusting his hips purposely as his cock hits the back of my throat making me gag.
"Fuck look at that- sound so much better with my dick in ur slutty mouth huh". Chris lets out a breathy laugh tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched me struggle to take all of him.
Chris would not let up on his hip thrusts making my eyes water more each time as his dick size caused me to hollow my cheeks as he grips my hair tighter so get a quicker orgasm.
"that’s right you wanted to have all this mouth now I’m filling it with my cum-" Chris moans forcing my head all the way down my nose resting on his lower abdomen as his warm load shoots in my throat dribbling down as he lets me up his cum dripping down my mouth.
"Speechless already?" He chuckles wiping his thumb along my bottom lip collecting the excess semen slipping it into my mouth as I sucked it clean.
"Good girl. Now strip." He demanded manspreading as I unzipped my jacket first freeing my tits as I sat up pulling down my leggings revealing my red lace thong, Chris’s favorite
"wearing my favorite pair of panties huh? While grinding on some other guy?" Chris spoke angrily and shakes his head placing me back flat on the car seats.
"You just couldn’t wait to be fucked by me. Isn’t that right sweetheart?" His hand grips my face as he spoke in a coax voice and a whimpered at the sudden grasp.
"yeah you like it when I do this to you? Gripping you up like a whore? Huh?" He squeezed slightly harder and I nodded.
"Yes Chris I love it when you do this to me-" I groan feeling my lips smushed together and he smirked releasing his grip.
He leaned up taking off his jeans and boxers fully and his black hoodie.
He pulls me close gripping my legs pushing them up on his shoulders before slamming into me as I let out a loud moan.
"Shit ma- such a tight fuckin pussy- all for me right?" Chris let out a deep moan as he pushed his hips against the back of my thighs roughly knocking the wind out of my lunges.
"Fuck Chris s-slow down!" I cry out feeling his size burn into my pussy as he didn’t let me adjust the way I wanted, he was pissed.
"oh really? You don’t want this? Maybe I should call the other guy yeah?" He rests his forearm behind my head pressing our bodies together my legs in the air.
"fuck fuck no! I-I only want you!" I whimper as my eyes met his dark lustful blues his jaw clenched at the sight of me.
"good girl, sound so much better on my cock." His breath was on my neck before he positioned my legs back on his shoulders gripping my waist tightly snapping his hips with the back of my thighs abusing my cunt
At the pace he was going I couldn’t even think straight, the way his dick perfectly filled me up and his deep groans filled my ears.
"Oh fuck- Chris ur so fucking deep-" my moan and whimper fuelled his ego more as I was going to be fucked speechless already feeling my vocals fade.
"Look at that- such a fucking whore". Chris muttered gripping my neck allowing his hips to thrust harder as I was now unable to even utter words.
"shit- already? Where’s that attitude gone baby-" Chris gave me fake pout, pure anger and lust in his voice whilst he literally was fucking me speechless.
The position we were in allowed the tip of Chris’s cock to brush on my g-spot making me squeal slightly as the sounds of our skin meshing together fills the car.
"look at you, all dumb acting because of my cock so pathetic baby-" his devilish smirk grows as he watches how fucked out I look all because of his dick
"mmhm f-fuck Chris-" I cry out pathetically babbling as I shudder in his grasp, bound to leave bruises.
I noticed him not speaking and that’s when I noticed him looking down at my stomach seeing his dick poke through each thrust.
"yeah? You feel me in ur stomach? probably like this shit don’t you sweetheart". He mocked pressing a hand on my stomach and I moaned out loudly tears forming in my waterline
"you look so pretty when you cry mama". His expression softened for a second before that dominance took over quickly once more
Chris’s pace didn’t let up and my stomach began to tighten and I swore I was seeing stars, everything was a blur but fuck it felt so good.
"ugh- fuck your gonna cum- shouldn’t let ur slutty ass cum after the shit you pulled-" he says under his breath, a hint of his aggression still lingering as he reaches to rub my clit.
"better start begging baby". Chris looks at me and my eyes widen as I could barely even form words together and his request was way out of proportion.
"Fuck! P-please Chris I-i need to cum-" I whimper taking many breaths between my words hearing him scoff and how he damn near fucked me out of my vocabulary.
"That’s a good girl, cum on my dick baby show me how good I make you feel". That raspy voice of his always made me feel so many thoughts, just enough for that knot in my stomach to burst my cum began to drip down his thick cock still thrusting inside of me making me perk up
"C-Chris sensitive!" I squeal pushing his stomach away and he pins my hands above my head pressing his chest on mine being nose to nose.
"You know the safe word baby, better think fast because I’m not stopping". He breathes heavily onto my lips pressing a deep kiss against them as they swell.
"shit ma- your pussy feels so fuckin good- could stay in it all day-" Chris let out a breathy moan continuing to fuck me senseless as tears streamed down my face from overwhelming pleasure.
"oh god- Chris please-" I shudder putting my hand up and he immediately takes it holding him and he grunts feeling his own orgasm creep up along with a second one for me.
"I know baby your doing so fucking good for me- just one more yeah? He presses a kiss to my neck and I nodded as he rammed into me.
"fuck fuck fuck I’m gonna cum again-" I throw my head back and he didn’t prefer that so he gave me a look and my head shit up again as I gripped his hand tighter and he gave me a smirk.
"I’m not slowing down sweetheart- fuck just one more-" he moaned pressing his body on mine as our noses touched moaning into each other's mouths.
The tension was at an all time high, the car smelled like a sex aroma mixed with his cologne and my Dior perfume and his occasional “fuck” and my cries of his name as his cock twitched inside me of me.
"fuck- look at me I wanna see that pretty face when you cum-" Chris plants a deep kiss on my lips as I maintain eye contact with him feeling that knot in my stomach begin to burst.
"Chris I’m- fuck!" I screamed one final cry of his name before my juices coated his cock and lower stomach as his cum painted my walls.
We sat there for a minute catching our breaths before he spoke again
"You drive me insane baby-" he pants resting his head on my shoulder and I let out a breathy chuckle.
"What can I say-" I smile pushing my hair out of my face and he sits up sliding out of my tight hole making me wince.
"Shit you okay?" I didn’t hurt you did I? Chris scans my body carefully taking in the bruises of his fingers on my waist and neck.
"I’m okay- just tired and sore-" I shudder a bit when I meet his gaze, a soft one.
"When we get home I’ll run you a bath and we can watch a movie or some corny shit-" he let out a chuckle but that alone made me so happy.
I’d really like that. I say to myself but out loud I say
That's sweet- thank you Chris-
@mattsleftnipple03 @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturniolopowers@gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog@blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chris
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moni-logues · 6 days ago
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Reciprocity
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Pairing: Yoongi x afab reader (Kintsugi couple) feat. A Fine Line Couple
Genre: established relationship
Word count: 5.8k
Summary: A couples' holiday with Suri and Namjoon highlights a particular problem between you and Yoongi.
Content: one reference to self-harm (cutting) but discussion of scars, oral sex (f. receiving), discussions of sex life stuff?, i guess some poor communication, overheard sex
A/N: yes, it's me once again with my favourite characters no apologies. i have been thinking about this since maybe even before i finished the series??? and i'm glad to have it finally out of my head. this is unedited and unbeta'd, written by me in the course of this one single day and well, here we are. This is set in the summer, somewhere a few months after the ending of the series.
* * *
“It’ll be fun!” 
Yoongi just nodded and continued carefully folding clothes and packing them in a bag.  
“You don’t want to come,” you continued, heart sinking a little. 
“Of course I do.” 
“Tell your face.” 
He smiled then but didn’t want you to see it, turned around to fetch underwear from a drawer. When he turned back, his face was schooled into something a little more neutral, polite. 
“I’m not saying it’s my first choice of holiday,” he explained, “but I want to go.” 
“Good, because you’re coming whether you like it or not!” 
You hopped off the bed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then moved into the kitchen to prepare snacks for the road. At the advice of your therapist, you were taking Yoongi at his word: if he said he wanted to come, you would believe him and it was not your responsibility if he was lying. Even though it felt like it was.  
A week in the sun had been your initial suggestion. Somewhere where the heat wasn’t a curse, but a blessing. Clear blue skies and cool water. Peace. Unbridled joy where the real world couldn’t touch you. Even you weren’t entirely sure when it turned into a couples’ holiday, but it was an idea that neither Suri nor Yoongi would ever come up with, and you weren’t sure about Namjoon so it must have been yours. Sounded like the sort of thing you would say. Yoongi had said yes and let you do the research, find somewhere not too far away, easy to get to but far enough to feel new, to feel fresh.  
He had been fairly tight-lipped about it since then. Got a little quiet when you brought it up, when you showed him tourism websites with activities laid out. He insisted he wanted to come but never quite managed to muster up the level of enthusiasm you’d hoped for. In a way, that was just Yoongi being Yoongi, but there was anxiety in you, too, and it was making you sensitive. You could see everyone hating the idea, hating the trip, having the worst time. The awkward silences, arguments about what to do or who should clean what. Namjoon had joked that he would have to force Suri to come and he had said it with a laugh but you knew it was true.  
You turned your head and looked out of the car window at the increasingly green scenes around you and bit your lip. It felt incongruous somehow to not be happy and peaceful when the environment was so lush and bright with life. With ease. With a natural kind of solidity that had stood for hundreds or thousands of years and was still standing. You felt small and silly to be worried about this but it didn’t stop you worrying. Yoongi’s hand found yours and, like it always did, made a warmth start in your heart. You closed your eyes for a second of intense gratitude and then turned to him. 
“It’ll be fun,” he said.  
And it sounded like he meant it. 
You and Yoongi arrived first, took the back bedroom overlooking the lake at Yoongi’s insistence because it was the better view. You had stopped on the way for groceries and you stocked the fridge, took out food to cook for dinner, since it would be about that time when Namjoon and Suri arrived.  
The cabin was wooden and new, so new it still smelt literally pine-fresh. The sun was just starting to dip, dripping golden light over everything, spreading a thousand tiny diamonds on the surface of the lake. It couldn’t have been more picturesque. It made you want to send a postcard for the first time since you were a child.  You settled for texting photos to Taehyung who told you to stop messaging him. Your ripples of anxiety were peaking, anticipating Namjoon and Suri’s arrival and what sort of dynamic it would bring, how it might disturb the peace of this place.  
Yoongi tore you from the window and asked you to start peeling vegetables. You were glad of the task. 
“-t I don’t want to be here, it’s just going to be weird.” 
Suri’s voice came from the hallway and you froze. So did Yoongi. 
“I don’t know why you keep saying that-” Namjoon - “it’s not as if we’ve never spent time with them. You like them.” 
Suri’s hum in response sounded unconvinced.  
You heard the kicking off of shoes, could follow their footsteps into the living room, around the corner from the kitchen where the two of you were hidden. Yoongi put down his knife and moved to go, intercept them before they said something you didn’t want to hear, but you put a hand out to stop him. Your stomach was sick but you had to hear it. Whatever it might be.  
“She’s jus-” 
And they rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopped in their tracks when they saw you. 
“Hey!” Namjoon was the first to recover. “We didn’t know you guys had arrived already! Where have you parked?” 
“’Round the back,” Yoongi answered. 
He was looking at Suri and you were looking anywhere but. Face burning with shame—that this was your idea, that it was all your fault, that you should’ve made you presence known earlier, that no one except you wanted to do this—you swallowed and smiled as brightly as you could. 
“You made it!”  
Your cheer sounded forced to you; maybe Namjoon and Suri wouldn’t hear it. Maybe they would believe you. 
“Public transport is a fucking nightmare,” Suri said with feeling.  
“I told you we could’ve rented a car,” Namjoon replied as if they had had this argument already. 
“I’m not driving in these hills! You should do it. Right?” 
You flinched when she turned to you and realised you had to answer. 
“Uh-” 
“Yoongi drove, right? Literally what are men good for if not chauffeuring you around?” 
It was a lifeline for her, really, but you took it readily, gladly, anything to drive over the awkwardness and shame you were feeling. 
“She has a point, Joon,” you said, grinning at him. “You could at least get a licence.”  
Namjoon rolled his eyes indulgently, let you and Suri rib him a little more, smoothing things over at his own expense. You were deeply grateful.  
“Come and help us do dinner,” you said, ferreting out more chopping boards from the cupboard, handing over knives and ingredients.  
It would be fine, you told yourself as you diligently and with great focus, chopped an onion. It would be fine. It would not be weird. It would be fine. It would be fine.  
It was fine. Dinner was cooked and eaten and cleaned up after. Drinks were taken on to the back porch, overlooking the lake, the heat lingering long into the darkness. It was not dissimilar to the other dinners you had had as a foursome. As long as you could forget what Suri might have been about to say, you were sure you could have a good time.  
You woke the next morning, sun streaming sharply through a gap in the curtains. You rolled over, tucked yourself into Yoongi’s side even though you were already hot and sticky. You were willing yourself to fall back to sleep, even if just for a few minutes, and then you were sitting, eyes wide, ears trained.  
There was no mistaking the sound of other people having sex. You grimaced, settled back down in bed and pulled the covers over your head. 
“What?” Yoongi mumbled, not so much a word as a sound. 
“Can’t you hear them?” you asked in a stage whisper. 
Another grunt from Yoongi. Then you felt his body tense, followed by a sigh and a sleepy chuckle. 
“You’re the one who wanted to come on holiday with another couple.” 
You whined, prodded him sharply in the chest. 
“Not because I was anticipating this! Do they have to be so loud?” 
“This place is not exactly well sound-proofed.” 
“I so don’t want to hear this.” 
“Go back to sleep,” Yoongi said and he sounded like he was already halfway there himself.  
“I don’t know how you can sleep now that you can hear that.” 
Merely a hum in response. 
You lay for a few minutes, desperately trying not to hear the only noise in the house, and then you gave up. Threw back the covers and went into the bathroom to shower. The rush of the shower might not exactly cover it but it would give you something to do.  
“Hey,” Yoongi greeted the other couple when they came out to join the two of you on the back porch, where you were sitting with coffee and fruit. “Just a quick request: could you please have louder sex? I’ve been getting a little too much sleep recently.” 
You and Suri both froze and you saw the blood swarm in her cheeks, red and hot. Namjoon just laughed.  
“I’ll see what we can do.” 
Suri swatted him harshly on the arm and he barely noticed, slung said arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissed her on the top of her head. If he felt embarrassed or awkward about it, it wasn’t showing. What was it like to be so self-assured, confident, relaxed about everything? Even with Suri’s face still pink, her mouth pulled into a scowl, furiously glowering at her boyfriend, he looked easy, his smile gentle and eyes bright. You envied him. You still felt silly and embarrassed about the previous evening, and embarrassed about hearing them have sex; he didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be heard.  
Yoongi had insisted on washing up after breakfast. Didn’t let anyone else so much as carry a bowl back to the kitchen. He was taking his time on it, deliberately, carefully, putting off what he knew could not be avoided.  
He was rarely unaware of his own body. Vigilant at all times about its exposure. He had suffered years of summers under long sleeves and trousers, would suffer higher temperatures, more humidity if he had to. He regretted everything he had done to himself, but not in a way that prevented him doing it again. No amount of shame or embarrassment would stop him, it seemed. Not that it happened much these days, but the possibility was always there.  
Even when he was with you, he couldn’t let go. Even though you were sweet and kind and loving. Even though he knew there was a part of you that understood. Even though he could kiss your thighs where you had cut them and love you so much that it hurt, love your skin, love your scars (hate that you had them). Even though you kissed him, all over, generous and unsparing, even though you said you loved him, all the parts, every bit of him. He knew what he was and he found that breaking the habit of hiding himself was harder than the hiding had been in the first place. 
With his task finished, and all the others he had made up for himself (cleaning counters, fluffing cushions, clearing the dryer of lint even though they hadn’t used it), he had come to the point he could no longer avoid. He moved slowly up the stairs, towards the bedroom you and he were sharing; he stopped halfway up. He could see you through the door, left ajar.  
Your bikini was floral, cutesy, every bit you. The smile formed on his mouth before he had registered the sight. Then it was wiped away because he saw your face: your worried eyebrows, lip caught between your teeth. Your fingers ran over the scars on your thighs; your face turned towards the window, from which point Yoongi knew you could see Namjoon and Suri, already out, lounging. He could see cogs turning in your head, first this way then that.  
And then it wasn’t just the scars. You fussed with the top, fussed with the bottom, turned in the mirror to check yourself from the side, twisted your head around to catch yourself from the back. You ran a hand over your face. You picked up a slip of fabric—some kind of cover-up, a dress?—and held it up against yourself. 
He knew he shouldn’t be spying like this. He wanted to leap the remaining stairs and take you into bed where he would show you exactly what he thought of your body: your perfect, desirable, soft, body that he loved and loved to love. He wanted, briefly, to throw Suri in the lake and hope there were eels because he knew you were still thinking about it: last night.  
He knew that it didn’t matter much what he did because it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t as easy as being told you were fine. He knew because you told him all the time but he still felt like there was something wrong with him.  
He carried on up the stairs and knocked on the door as he entered. Your face was immediately bright, free from clouds, as clear as the sky outside.  
“Coming outside?” you asked as he moved in closer, couldn’t stop himself kissing you just once, putting all his love into it, however brief, however small. 
“Yeah, just coming. You go ahead.” 
You nodded and skipped out and there was a deep tug in his chest. There was a pit of snakes in his stomach but, fuck it, he’d been bitten before. Everyone out there beside the lake knew him, knew what he was if not in full, lurid detail. He took a deep breath and fished around in the bottom of his bag for the pair of swimming shorts he had bought in a moment of madness and packed because he wanted to make the effort for you. He hadn’t expected to wear them—they were still fully tagged and pristine, ready for refunding—but here he was.  
He hadn’t anticipated the difficulty. He sat for ten minutes at the dining table in the kitchen, willing himself to get up and go outside. His legs weren’t all that bad, not the lower half. No one would care. You’d seen them before anyway. It wasn’t a big deal. He was telling himself all the right things but he couldn’t make himself move because he was thinking about all the people who’d seen him in his grossest state. Thought of the things some of them had said. Thought about their reactions. Thought about yours. Tried to focus on that. Reminded himself that it was you out there and his best friend. Suri was still a question mark but he also thought that she could go fuck herself if she had a problem with it because he was still prepared to fight her for potentially upsetting you. 
“I don’t know. I’ll go and see where he is.” 
Your voice floated over to him and that was it, the alarm call, the deadline reached. He stood from the chair and made himself move with he didn’t know what power.  
“Hey!” you cried, arms outstretched to welcome him as he approached the group. “I was just coming to look for you—thought you might have got lost.” 
He smiled, let you kiss him on the cheek, direct him into a sun lounger, sit down with him on it, not quite in his lap but almost.  
Suri raised a hand in way of a greeting; she was flat on her back, sunglasses on, straps of her bikini tucked away, her tiny body sizzling in the sun. Namjoon sat next to her, under the shade of a parasol, dug out of the cabin’s garage, book in hand. He nodded at Yoongi and kept reading. 
“I’m going to go in the lake,” you said, one hand resting on his calf. “Do you want to come?” 
He was putting all his energy into not looking where you were touching him, not noticing, pretending that this wasn’t the first time for he couldn’t remember how many years that he’d not been fully covered in front of people. He wasn’t sure what his face said, if his mouth said anything at all, but you were standing and holding out your hands for him so he must have said yes, let you lead him to the edge of the water and then jump in.  
The water was colder than he’d expected. He gasped and swallowed a lungful, came up spluttering. He wiped the water from his face and pushed his hair back. He blinked the water from his eyes and each frame brought you closer, until your arms were around his neck and your lips on his.  
“I love you, you know that?” 
He nodded. 
“I love you, too.” 
“I know.” 
Did you? Did you really know the full depth and breadth of it? The way he loved you was desperate and whole. He had loved desperately before, loved anxiously, a long time ago when he still thought it was possible he could be loved. There were times when it terrified him. You terrified him because you loved him and it was impossible. Panic seized him and he wanted to run, run anywhere, get as far away as possible until you and your enormous heart were nowhere to be seen. Then you would call him or you would touch him and the panic disappeared, a low-grade anxiety in its place.  
He hadn’t realised he had given up on it. Before you let him kiss you, before you kissed him back and said things he never believed he would hear, he had retired the idea of being loved. It wasn’t for everyone and it wasn’t for him. He took what he could get and accepted that his lot in life was nothing more. But he met you and it hit him square in the face: that he’d stopped expecting joy. That he was fine because he never expected what he deeply and desperately wanted: to be loved. 
And that’s why you were terrifying. Because he was getting used to you. Getting used to being wanted. Getting used to the idea that he could be wanted. Sometimes he thought he was expecting it. Expecting you to let him in your arms, in your life. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t owed anything, didn’t deserve anything. It was the other way around: he was in debt for everything he had been given by you, for being given you at all. 
They say if you can’t beat them, join them. It was an expression Yoongi was apparently taking very seriously, as he slid his tongue down your torso, fingers already slipping through your lips, sinking deep into your soft, wet hole.  
You were less keen to join Namjoon and Suri in being overheard so you pressed a pillow to your face and moaned into it, still louder than you’d wanted to be. You bit down hard on your lip as your back arched from the bed. Every time, it was an aria performed like a concerto, Yoongi doing the work of a full orchestra suite at once. It was lethal and moving the ease with which he played you and it was somehow never the same twice. Never had anyone spent as much time with his face between your legs and it showed: he had learnt, with apparent ease, seemingly everything about what got you off: had learnt how to do it in a rush, how to take his time, how to make you squirt (a surprise more to you than him), how to edge you until you wanted to die, how to make you come and somehow keep coming. He had, on one unfortunately memorable occasion, given you a charley horse and a third orgasm simultaneously.  
You were approaching your second now, with sweat seeping into the bedsheets, and Yoongi’s tongue laving at your clit, his fingers rocking inside you. It was suffocating with the pillow smothering you, your hot breath making it damp, your breathing thick and swampy so it made you light-headed. You couldn’t have kept any quieter even if you’d be able to try; all your attention and energy fell on the mouth at the apex of your legs and the fingers inside you. An experience so in-body, it almost pushed you all the way out again, like your consciousness was hovering outside your skin, alert and alive, an electrical wire in a puddle of water.  
You came hard and gasped for breath when you pulled the pillow from your face. Yoongi kissed his way back up to you, sticky marks all over your sweat-wet skin. He was damp, too, tiny curls of hair stuck to his forehead, the T-shirt he slept in stuck to his back. You peeled it back, ran your hands over him, were reaching for the waistband of his boxers when he pulled away.  
“I’ll wash up and then make breakfast, sound good?” he asked, climbing out of bed and reaching for trousers. 
The words died in your mouth. You could see that he was hard, see the discomfort in the way he adjusted himself as he dressed; you wished you could see into his brain. It wasn’t the first time, not even the second or third and you didn’t want to have the same conversation again, with another couple in the house, with company. Knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere if you did. Knew he would not fuck you nor would he give you a real reason why not. You rolled onto your side, away from the door and pulled the covers around you, despite the heat, despite the sweat. You lay and you stewed and you wondered just what exactly you were doing wrong. 
You tried to forget about it and it had been easy until you glanced over to see Namjoon swat Suri’s backside with his book, saw her retaliate by squirting water on him from her bottle, saw him pull her down in a tumble that was entirely playful until she kissed him. You turned away because you’d already heard enough, you didn’t need to see their foreplay.  
“Did you guys buy ice-cream?” Suri asked later that evening. 
“No,” you answered. “Do you want some?” 
Suri nodded. 
“Yeah, there’s a shop down the road; I’ll go and get some. Anyone else want any?” 
“I’ll come, too!” 
Suri looked surprised, her mouth open (to put you off), then she shut it and shrugged. 
“Ok.” 
It was quiet, initially, just the soft rush of wind in the tops of the trees and the slight crunch of the gravel track under your feet. 
“Can I ask you something?” 
The rhythm of Suri’s feet faltered and then started smoothly again. Her answer was slow to arrive. 
“Yeah, I guess.” 
Embarrassment was worming through you, on its way to stifle you, to choke you so the words wouldn’t come out. 
“You and Namjoon have good sex, right?” 
Suri didn’t just falter but stopped completely. She looked at you guardedly, suspicious. You could feel her attempting to put distance between you, even as her feet kept still. 
“Is that... ar-, we’re trying to be quiet,” she answered eventually. 
You laughed not because it was funny but because you were nervous. 
“No, it’s not about that. It's... I mean, you do, right?” 
“Yes.” 
You were stuttering over your next question, not having planned this conversation, not really knowing what you wanted out of it. 
“Don’t you and Yoongi?” Suri asked, beating you to it. 
“We do. Kind of. Yes, but also...” 
Your face was flaming, hot pricks of sweat beading in your scalp at the embarrassment of this, at having to ask someone about your sex life—someone that wasn’t Taehyung anyway—someone who definitely did not want to be having this conversation either. 
“The thing is,” you persevered, “he goes down on me, like a lot. Or not a lot but sometimes, well, often, he...”  
Your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides. 
“He goes down on me and then we don’t have sex and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why he doesn’t want to fuck me.” 
You let it out in a rush, looking somewhere over Suri’s left shoulder because you couldn’t bear to look at her directly, to see her face reacting. She was quiet for a moment or two and you stewed, boiling in your self-consciousness, steaming with shame.  
“Have you asked him?” 
“Yes, of course! He just says he doesn’t want to or ‘it’s ok’ or that I don’t have to reciprocate or that he’s fine. But I'm not fine! I’m clearly shit at sex! And blowjobs because he doesn’t want those either!” 
And it was the embarrassment, mostly, but you felt tears burn in your eyes, felt your bottom lip wobble and as much as you did not want to have this conversation, you certainly didn’t want to cry during it. 
“Does Namjoon ever...” and you couldn’t finish the question because you knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it. 
“Nah, if he’s even the slightest bit turned on, he’s doing something about it. Well, I'm doing something about it, you know what I mean.” 
You cursed softly, tried to kick at the gravel in your flipflops.  
“I just wish he would tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can fix it.” 
Your embarrassment, bright enough to have burnt away now, had left you sad, miserable in fact, that you couldn’t please your boyfriend and he was being too nice to tell you so. Sad because you couldn’t give him what you wanted to, what he gave you. Miserable that you were failing where you wanted to succeed. 
“Do you ask him directly at the time?” 
“Huh?” 
“I mean, look, I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice of any kind, ok? I really don’t know how to do anything but are you asking him why he doesn’t want to have sex right now, or have you talked about it at a completely unsexy time? Because Namjoon is barely sapient when his dick is hard; his brain is entirely in his crotch.  
“Literally the only thing I have learnt over the last year is that, as horrible as it is, you have to talk about stuff, especially when you don’t want to talk about it. So maybe just talk to him again but- oh, I don’t know! I’m not good at this. But if he’s not given you a proper answer, make him give you one. You should at least know what the problem is, if there even is one, right?” 
You thought about it. Thought about how quickly you let the subject drop, let Yoongi brush you off because you didn’t really want to have the conversation at all, didn’t want to know the answer—or rather you didn’t want to hear Yoongi say it.  
You nodded, thanked her quietly for her help and you walked the rest of the way to the shop in silence. You picked an ice-cream at random and a random one for Yoongi, too, then you walked back. Suri tried to make conversation with you and you were grateful for it, for her. You didn’t know if she liked you, found her impossible to read, and often got the impression that she’d rather be anywhere else, but she was making an effort and it meant something to you. 
“Can I ask you something?” you started timidly as you settled in bed that night. 
“Yeah.” 
You were quiet for a moment and Yoongi frowned, trying to work out what had upset you. You had been quieter than usual all evening and he wondered if Suri had said something to you; you had come back from the shop with two melona ice-creams, which you hated.  
“Am I bad in bed?”  
He blanched. Didn’t really understand the question because you weren't. Not in the slightest. The sex he had with you was as close to perfect as sex could be. He sometimes felt deranged in how much he wanted you, felt dirty for it even, like it somehow besmirched your honour for him to think about you when he touched himself. Like he would contaminate you with his need to have you. It often took all he had in him not to fuck you. 
“What do you mean?” 
Your mouth was pouty and your eyebrows drawn close. You didn’t look angry for which he was grateful, but you were sad and frustrated for which he was not. 
“You go down on me all the time and then we don’t have sex after! You don’t let me reciprocate! I can’t do it better if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong in the first place!” 
It was like static was fuzzing up his brain. He knew the words but couldn’t understand them coming out of your mouth. He had thought he was doing the right thing. Giving not taking. Or taking only sometimes, but keeping the balance firmly tipped towards you. You always offered because of course you did: you were wonderful and kind and, for reasons he could rarely fathom, you cared about him.  
“Yoongi!” 
In a tone he almost never heard, genuinely annoyed, if also pleading and anxious.  
He blinked, tried to find an answer. 
“I don’t know what you mean.” 
“Of course you do! It happened this morning! It happens at least half the time! I don’t understand why you don’t want it.” 
And his heart was suddenly hammering because he could see that he had got it wrong but he wasn’t quite sure how. Colour drained from his face because you were upset, really, genuinely upset and it was his fault and if he could have squashed himself like a bug under his own shoe, he would have.  
He tried to see what he had not seen, what he had missed, what maybe he had ignored. Could only see instead the times before, with other partners, when he’d try to initiate and be rebuffed, when he never asked for anything because he knew he wouldn’t get it anyway and, besides, it was ugly to ask, to want, to demand for something someone else didn’t want to give. He had spent so much time and effort learning his partners’ bodies, trying to make up for everything he lacked. He knew he was good at it. Knew it, was sure of it. Wasn’t he? Was it not enough? Was he still missing something? 
“I do,” he said, voice hushed as though it hurt to say. “I do want it.” 
“Then why do you always brush me off?” 
He felt stripped like old paint. Had to look at you, though the embarrassment was excruciating. 
“I didn’t think you really wanted it.” 
And it sounded stupid when he said it out loud, really stupid, but it was the truth. 
“What?!” 
You really needed to hear him say it again. That he didn’t think you wanted it, even though you had explicitly asked. Even though you had sometimes tried, feebly, to insist.  
“I...” 
But he didn’t say it again, looked as though he couldn’t. Looked as desperate as you felt.  
“Why do you think I would ask, I would offer, if I didn’t want to actually do it?” 
“Because you give. You’re... You’re nice to me.” 
“Oh, fuck.” 
And you took a deep breath, tried to blink away the tears, sent them rolling down your cheeks instead.  
“Yoongi, what the fuck?” 
You saw him move, inch away just slightly, and you remembered who you were dealing with. Because he was Yoongi, your Yoongi, and he was warm and soft and sweet and funny and smart and you loved him so much that you forgot sometimes he still hated himself. Saw his denial now not of you but of his own desires. Remembered how long he had spent silently loving you without asking you to so much as hear a confession. Remembered how close you had both come to absolutely nothing at all, his disbelief overpowering his belief and his heart and his hope.  
You could see it from his side. See what he was trying to do, even if it was madness. Even if it was wrong. You could feel him retreat even now, tucking himself back inside his tortoise shell.  
“I’m so-” 
You didn’t let him finish, would not let him apologise. You kissed him, tasted the salt of your own tears between you, leant into him, let your arms wrap around him and pressed your lips to his, to his cheek, to his hairline, to his jaw. 
“Yoongi, I love you.” 
“I know,” he replied, but you weren’t sure if he really did. 
“I’m glad you think I'm such a nice person and everything, but I promise, I’m not offering out of the goodness of my heart. I’m asking because I actually want to. Like, really want to. Like, really enjoy myself and want you to enjoy yourself and want us to both enjoy ourselves together, y’know?” 
He nodded, couldn’t quite hold your gaze.  
“I’m serious. You need to know that I want to fuck you, ok?” 
And you laughed, though you were trying not to, even if it did feel a little ridiculous, having to convince your boyfriend that you wanted to have sex. 
He nodded again. 
“You promise I’m not a bad lay?” 
And you watched his face flick through shock and outrage and a kind of disbelief that become laughter.  
“You are not a bad lay, I promise.” 
“And what about blowjobs?”  
“Also good.”  
“You promise?” 
And you sat yourself in his lap, legs straddling his hips, sinking yourself low, pressing against him. 
“I promise.” 
“What if I say you have to prove it?” 
His head cocked to the side, playful, squinting at you, and you didn’t think that it was over, that he was suddenly convinced now, but with the burden of Being Terrible at Sex lifted off you, you felt not only lighter, but the deep, heavy, familiar drag of desire raise its head. 
“Prove it?” 
You shifted your hips again, deniably but definitely, and put your lips to his ear. 
“Prove that you like it when I suck your cock.” 
His hands gripped you tightly; you felt the bob in his throat when he swallowed as you pressed kisses down his neck and a stirring in his boxers that you sank even lower to press yourself against. 
“I’ll prove it if you prove that you like it when I fuck you.” 
“Deal.” 
You were late up that next morning and Namjoon greeted you both from the back porch. 
“Hey, a little request: could you maybe be louder when you fuck? Suri and I are actually sleeping a little too well.” 
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