#I’m doing everything but studying for my finals or doing assignments tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sukioyakio · 1 year ago

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START OF SOMETHING NEW

POPSTAR!MIGUEL x NERDY!femreader

Summary: basically where reader come to an concert with her best friend to see the spider man’s,then she end up meeting him,and saving or helping his butt out of an situation

Warning:cursing,horrible at describing things,.

AN:umm hell to you guys who are reader this,this is my first time posting my work here,and I just WANTED TO SAY I HOPE YOU enjoyed this,I made my friends read this me,so yea,and helped me with their feedback and any feedback is APPRECIATED,and pls don’t be afraid to comment,anyway I hope you enjoyed this first chapter

words : 2k

she was woken by the sound of her alarm,causing to rub her eyes,and getting up from her comfortable bed,as she look at the time to see what it was,she realized she was going to late for work,

Reader/y/n-“fuck,fuck,fuck,shit I’m going to be late for work again,ughhh” she says as she runs to the bathroom,take an quick shower,washes her hair,her face and body,then got out of the bathroom,drying herself really quickly,and then she gets dress,hurting herself with the corner of the bed,-“ahhh!shit,ufhh,jezz that shit hurt,oww”,she says while biting her lip,she was done getting dress,she put her shoes,-“should I eat something?nope that will take time”she says to herself,as she runs towards the bathroom,to brush her teeth and do her hair (well trying),her hair was messy and all over the place,as she runs towards the door grabbing her keys and her oversized jacket,and the important things,

She was running towards her work job,passing people,and finally she got to work (she works in coffee shop),she was sweating, “at least I got my exercise for the day”,as she look at her best friend who had her hand tied with work,and with the tons of customers,walking in the back she knew that this was going to be an very much exhausting day.

“So,what do you have for your excuse this time so being late to work,hmm?”-her best friend (let just call her Millie) while she was making the coffee,and the sweet tea,(tbh I was writing what Starbucks employees do😔🤫😭) as she look at her,with an teasing smile,as reader looked at her with playful rolling her eyes,”oh shut it,I just had an extraordinarily long night and woke up late,of study”-she said while finishing up someone coffee,and calling the name of the customer,giving them an fake smile,

as she goes back to her station,as she was making another customer order,as she hear Millie speak-“so your coming with meeeee to the concert Right,your coming right,it like the first time I actually see THE Miguel in person” millie said happily and nudging her arm,as reader mumbles some words under her breath, “Oh yea I’m gonna come with you,I’m so happy to see him and his performance” she try’s not to sound unpleasant,and not annoyed,but it come out sarcastic as fuck,

After the rush hour,of customers coming in,everything went to quiet and only an few customers were there,millie was the first to talk to her,as she walked to where reader was,

Millie knew she would be at one of the table and working on her own homework for her college assignment,as Millie sat next to her since there was nothing to do,as reader looked at her,with an raise eyebrows “yes Millie?what is it” she says with an playful smile and questioning voice,as she put her attention on her,just to see millie with her ionic grin,

”sooooooo,since you are going WITH me,to the concert,can I-“ Millie got interrupted by her “No,nope,nuh nuh,no make up ” she said to her with not wanting an argument with her,”yuh uhhhhh,just onceeeee,I won’t bother you,pleaseee” millie says with an desperate voice and an pout,as reader rolls her eyes

“Mhmm,how about you ask your ghost friend to come you to the concert,hmm what was his Name Again,OH YEA it Casper”she says in an serious yet sarcastic tone,as she rolls her eyes,as Millie dramatically gasp at her word,and hold her chest with her hand and place where her heart is,” you wouldn’t dare leave me all ALONE in an concert,uhhhh fine I won’t talk about it” millie says defeating as she crossed her arms,”uh huh,good” she says with an chuckle and look at reader assignment,and her face down In horror,”wait,wait we had homework for Ms Marine,UGRHH” millie says with an deep sigh,as reader look at her and reader said it ok that she can copy her own work

Then it was the time to get ready for Miguel O��Hara concert,as reader didn’t really care about being fancy or anything she just got her t-shirt and her comfortable pajama pants and her comfortable hoodie,and wash her face,and waited for Millie to pick her up,as she was scroll on her instagram feed,after 10 minutes later,she see an text message saying “IM HERE BITCH LET FUCKING GOOO AND I BOUGHT THE CAR THAT MY DADY GOT ME!!”,she chuckles,and went through the front the door and got her key, her phone,and her wallet,and walked out the door and took the stairs down to Mille car,seeing she that she looked beautiful as always,as she opens the passenger door and sat inside to hear Mille speak “IM SOOO READY TO SEE HIM,OMFG What IF HE SMILE AT ME!but I’m not that delusional!” Mille says happily and smiling,as she drove to the concert,as reader laughed at her stuipdness,she can’t help but smile as well,at seeing her best friend being so happy

Trying to find an Dawn parking spot was the hardest getting inside was an absolute mission,with people coming in and out,but we got there,and Millie got to the one of the front row’s,and Millie wouldn’t stop talking about Miguel ohara,or the other members and then after 35 minutes of waiting for the concert to start,the spider Band (MOST creative name ever 😔😌✊)

Lyla:”HELLO Ladies and Gentlemannnnnnn,WHO IS READY FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF YOUR LIFETIME!!!! SAYYY hello to THE SEXIEST Band ever!! THE SPIDER’S!!!”lyla says happily,while holding the mic,she was smiling with such an adorable face,and her walk toward the stage was smooth,she was wearing an white colored suit with flowing yellow floral laced layer that was strap to her waist of her suit,moving with her body,as she was infront of the stage,she put her hand in the air and positioned her finger in an gun position,and speaker into the mic

“LET MAKE THIS ONE OF AN HELL OF AN NIGHT!!”lyla says with an smirk and then she stomped on the floor then the whole stadium goes dark,Millie who was shaking reader the whole time and screaming like the other people around them,reader who thought she would loss her hearing,as she watched Millie screaming from the top of her lung,as she looked at the stage to see the crowd quiet down,as now the band was now there pairs such colorful clothes and designs,as the crowd gets loud as hell,with all of them saying “THE SPIDER BAND!!”,As reader see the light on Lyla and this guy with an sort of punk rock designed with such cool looking pants,and he was wearing makeup,an neon red and green stripes on his face only in the corner of her eyes,as he tap something on his ear,and speak to the crowd “let’m Rock and roll,BABY!!”hobie says with an playful voice,as he played his guitar,then the other band members,including Gwen,miles,Miguel,pavitr,Lyla,Margo,and Jessica (those are the people who are on stage,the other members who are peter b Parker,Ben Riley,Miles.G/Miles42 are in the back stage)

*Insert any song that you think would fit all of them together,with of them singing*(I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD ALL OF THEM SING TOGETHER,😭😭☠️💀especially with Miguel,Miles,gwen,hobie,Lyla,Jess,pavitr and margo,cuz like I know what role Gwen and hobie would be,cuz of the movie,I for sure know that margo would definitely be an background singer or an lead up singer,but IDK WHAT SONG WOULD THEY SING TOGETHER,but if they were to sing there singles,I know what they would sing😭😭😭)as reader see an tall as hell guy standing there with an fake smile on his face,as he was singing the lyrics,he was wearing an turtleneck with so many accessories on his pants,and he had his hair combed back neatly,he was wearing gloves and sunglasses that put his outfit together,but reader wasn’t even interested in this concert to be honest with herself,she was just interested in the outfit they had on,

AFTER the concert was finished,everyone was leaving and so did she and Millie did,but after finding which car is her and where is it they found it,”come on,I can drive you home,it already late”Millie said gently to reader,as reader”im fine,Millie,it only an few blocks away from here,anyway you need to get some sleep,so you could copy my homework” she says with an calmly voice,but in an tone that Millie knows that no matter what she does she won’t get in,

”fine,I see you later,you better not get kidnapped,cuz I’m going to find who tf dare touch my nerdy friend”Millie says as she get inside the and starts to drive away waving goodbye to reader,

as reader starts to walk away from the stadium that was host inside of the concert,fixing her glasses and she was enjoying her late night walk alone,as she looks up at the moon light,putting her hands in her pjs pants,she was humming to her favorite song,after walking halfway away from the stadium,she hears an crowd of people coming here,their feet steps were coming to were she was,as she was still walking,she and someone bumped into her,as she just stumble an little bit,as she look behind as she see Miguel O’Hara standing there,

as she rolls her eyes,mumbling “ay great now im here with mr hot stuff” she says in an whisper voice she thought that she could only hear,but Miguel heard her,and said “I’m sorry, wait,esperar por favor,can you please hide me from those culo loco fans” he said in an annoyed,yet desperate voice,as he face showing his annoyance,as they could hear the group of people coming towards them,as she waits an little bit,and look at his face,and pushes her glasses,and sighs softly, “fine,I’ll help but when those people leave im leaving”she says with an scuff and take off her hoodie and handed to him,he looks at it and then get more annoyed at her “what now you want me to write an autograph on your hoodie,ah Que maravilloso” he said sarcastically,as he rolls his eyes out,and mumbles some words,reader who looks at him like he was slow, “no dumbass,I’m sorry if you can’t use your popstar brain,to figure out I’m telling you to wear it” she says in an harsh yet sarcastic voice,as she rolls her eye at him,and gave him an fake smile,as Miguel looked at her glasses,and then grab the hoodie and put it on him,she just didn’t care enough about his attitude at the moment and the only thing she cared was going home and not being bothered,”Now what,pequeña señorita”Miguel says in an stern voice,as the footsteps we’re getting louder,”now switch glasses,so it can be believeable,and ruffled your hair mr ohara,and start walking”as he did it and walked forward,as the group of people were the same street as them,and were asking where is Miguel or he couldn’t have gone that far from here,or that maybe one of the members got him,but in the end they left,as reader and Miguel were walking,and heard that they left,reader trip on an someone wallet,”are you seriously that blind without your glasses”Miguel says in his stern voice but his serious act was breaking up ,and chuckles at reader tripping over, “oh shut it mr bad boy wannabe,just give me my glasses and hoodie back and I’m be on my way” she say with an attitude,as she get up from the floor,and try to find where Miguel is,as she feel someone hand on her face taking off the sunglasses,and then put her circles glasses on her face,”there” he says to her,with an serious face,and he takes off the hoodie as well,giving it to her,”thanks” he says to her and walks the other way,”yea,hope…to never see you again” she say calmly and walked her way home,and when she finally got home with no problem,she didn’t care about shower,she was too tired to do anything but sleep on her bed.Meanwhile Miguel was at gas station,he needed to get away from his famous life and just chill,he needed to get away from those annoying flashing lights always on his face or his crew members faces,as he was sitting down by the side of an road eating an snack,as he watched the moon,as he recalled what that girl said “mr bad boy wannabe”as he scoffed at her comment,and rolled his eyes,”what an werid rude girl” as he got up,to only hear the sound of his phone,as he looked it was Lyla saying to come here,so they can go to the hotel,as he call an anyone to pick him up.

#miguel o'hara fluff #miguel ohara fanfiction #series 1 #miguel o’hara x reader #Popstar!miguel x nerdyreader #first time writing

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herofics · 1 month ago

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University, dropping courses, and writing

University is keeping me very busy, but I’m gonna try to write and post something this week. It’s hard to stay on top of everything, but I’m trying. Writing stuff keeps me sane, and I wish I had more time for it, but I can’t really just abandon my uni work either, and it has to get done in time. I’m sleeping like 55% of my day, sometimes more but very rarely less. Idk if it’s my depression coming back, if it’s autistic burnout again or what the fuck, but I don’t like it. I have so much to do and no energy for anything. “This too shall pass but holy fuck”, as a wise person once said.

I’m drowning in school assignments. I’m going to have to drop two courses I was supposed to do this fall, because I just can’t manage the amount of work. I was originally going to do 37 credits worth of studies this fall, (one uni credit is about 27 hours of work in Finland) but I’m gonna have to drop it to 30 credits. I’m almost done with one of the bigger courses I have for this fall, but I still have two pages to write for the assignment too. It’s a ton of work, since I have to read and research so much for it. I already have 8 pages of it done, but the minimum requirement is 10 pages, so I’ve still got some work to do. I’m just hoping I don’t lose my benefits, since I’m required to do a certain amount of uni credits to keep getting my money.

I still need to talk with the guidance counselor, my tutor teacher and my psychiatric nurse about how I’m going to be lightening my workload at school, but I think it’s for the best. If I don’t drop some of my courses, I’m gonna end up on sick leave or something. I’m just gonna have to do those courses later. They’re independent courses, at least mostly, so it’s not really tied to any specific time. I really hope my teacher and the guidance counselor support me in my decision. I know the psych. nurse is gonna support me, since her job is not to get me to graduate as quickly as possible, unlike the university staff.

I feel like crap for not writing tbh. It’s not even really about the fact that I’m not posting anything, I just haven’t even had the time to write, which sucks ass. I’m gonna try to write once I finish the assignments that have deadlines next week. I think there’s three or four things that have the deadline next week, the earliest one is on Monday, but I want to get them done before that. I want to write and play Minecraft and do the things I enjoy, but I have a hard time enjoying them when the school deadlines are breathing down my neck.

Additionally, I think my tooth is chipped or something. It doesn’t hurt or anything, doesn’t even feel weird, but I can feel a sort of sharp edge on it. So that’s gonna be fun to take care of. I checked the university health services, and they’re apparently super busy and I don’t know if I’m even gonna get an appointment for this year. They luckily have a form you can use to get an appointment, so I might not have to call anyone. Their website says some of the forms have been taken offline though, because they are so busy atm. I’m incredibly bad at taking care of my teeth for multiple reasons, and think it’s finally gonna bite me in the ass.

#ony speaks

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago

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bb / gg, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook is the lead singer in a rock band and failed his Biology class last semester, so he has to take remedial classes over the summer. You're the Biology TA, double major in Psychology and Biology, watching him freak out over his make-up exam because he had overslept. Both of you are surrounded by rumors. Does the title stand for bad boy / good girl or bad bitch / good guy? Who knows.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; not the healthiest dynamic tbh; slight angst due to perceived unrequited love; smut (fem reader, D/s dynamics, begging, scratching / marking, choking, handjob (he is still wearing underwear), multiple orgasms, cowgirl, hair pulling, edging / orgasm denial, cock ring usage, m-masturbation, cum-eating); non-idol!BTS – rock singer, sub!Jungkook x studious, dom!reader

yes, it's SOWOOZOO JK, both the first yellow tropical look and the shredded black shirt look; for those who wanted him to be dom!JK, there is a moment when he is but not in the way you think because that's how I operate

Jeon Jungkook was a bad boy.

Wore too much black, dyed his hair too much, had tattoos, always had girls hanging around him. Sang in a rock band on the weekends, played electric guitar, played the game of how-many-numbers-can-I-get tonight? Never gave a girl his leather jacket to wear but was happy to buy her a drink and flirt with her until she got hot with arousal.

You were a good girl.

Always wore a blazer. Crisp white dress shirt and pleated skirt underneath, usually in a dark color. Sensible heels, but always heels. Did too many units a semester because you were double majoring in psychology and biology. Always arrived to class early, always turned in your assignments on time, always turned in your tests early and aced that shit. Took physics with calculus even though you didn’t have to because it was the harder one and you wanted a challenge.

Against the wall, shoving a fist into the neck, lips to lips, teeth snapping, hand travelling down, whimpering pleas and harsh growls, keep crying, I like it, ecstasy and pain, nails to skin. Tearing clothes off, biting, marking, I own you, and then, yes, you do, mouth and tongue, aching pleasure, cocked eyebrow, mocking the pathetic whines and cries, stopping right before the end, no, please, I’ve been good, and, you take what you get, hand fitting onto the neck, squeezing the sides, eyes rolling back, skin to skin, bruising slaps that would be seen tomorrow in the mirror, traced with shaking fingers and pants of an open mouth, moaning at the memory of sky-high pleasure while lightheaded and thoughtless, desperate to do it again.

There was a rumor.

Everyone liked Jeon Jungkook. He had two smiles, an endearing one and a teasing one. Both encapsulated the kind of person he was, honest and playful. He always sang with conviction, he rapped with savagery, and his lyrics were always from the heart. He always hung out with his bandmates after their performances at bars and interacted with those that came up to him. No one ever said Jungkook was mean or rude in any way.

And yet.

There was a rumor.

A rumor that Jeon Jungkook was taken.

He was the kind of guy that always made sure a drunk girl got home safe even though he didn’t know them. Paid for their taxi and everything. He focused a lot on his music and writing lyrics he thought would connect with others while taking into account his band members. He always told the truth if a girl confessed to him, saying he wasn’t looking right now, that he was very sorry if she thought otherwise, that there was someone he was already interested in.

“Oi.”

You slammed a hand onto the tabletop and Jeon Jungkook jumped, the shredded black shirt he was wearing falling down his shoulder, revealing his ink black tattoos on his tan skin. He was wearing a black tank top underneath.

“What’s with you? You missed the exam for your remedial class and you’ve spent the past ten minutes spacing out at your make-up exam,” you barked, pointing to his empty exam sheet. “You haven’t even filled out you name.”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “S… Sorry.”

You frowned. Why was he apologizing to you? Honestly, why did you sign up for this summer TA position again? Oh, right, money and credits. Hmph. It was really just an excuse for the professor to slack off while you did the tedious things like grading and watching over idiots that skipped class. Sorry, overslept. Hung over, probably, since this was the Jeon Jungkook. Rockstar, hottie, famous in his own way.

Whatever.

He could be Jesus Christ and you would still be scolding him for missing his remedial Biology exam.

“Fill out your name so at least I can fail you properly.”

Not that it mattered, since you knew who he was. He didn’t know you knew who he was, and you had zero incentive to inform him that you were indeed aware of the existence of black-haired, tattooed, chiseled-jaw, sparkly-eyed Jeon Jungkook, all due to the constant snide remarks that followed you in your wake.

You wouldn’t be such a bitch if a guy like Jeon Jungkook put you in your place.

Who the fuck was Jeon Jungkook?

This guy, this weirdo about to fail his fucking Biology exam in front of your face.

Impatiently, you rolled up the sleeves of your gray blazer and grabbed a chair, dragging it up to the table. You snapped the chair down and sat in it, smoothing your skirt. You liked to be neat. Even though university didn’t have a uniform, you liked to keep some sort of uniform for yourself. There was a sense of security in knowing you didn’t have to select an outfit every morning. Today, white dress shirt, gray blazer, pleated black skirt that hit slightly higher than mid-thigh. Every other outfit was some variation of this and, in the winter, you wore thick stockings.

You clicked your heels together under the table sharply.

He flinched at the sound.

Jungkook wasn’t looking at you. He was mumbling at his paper.

“I… I think I studied the wrong chapters…”

You clicked your tongue. Jeez.

His hand was shaking so bad that his pen was practically vibrating. You leaned over the table, grabbing his fist to still it.

“Stop.”

Your bare knees hit his bare knees, mostly because he was wearing black jeans with giant holes in them. Jungkook froze, head snapping up, silver earrings jangling, black hair flying, undercut visible for a second.

“You want to pass this class or what?”

He nodded quickly in response.

“Good. I want to get out of here. Keep your mouth shut. Answer to the first question is A.”

His eyes widened.

“Are you… helping me cheat?” he whispered, terrified.

You cocked your head, letting go of his hand. “You said you studied the wrong chapters. I’m not spending forty-five minutes of my life to watch you panic and then ten minutes more failing you,” you replied lowly, dangerous edge to your voice.

“I… couldn’t… I mean…”

You shoved his knees open with yours, narrowing your eyes as he yelped, pleading look in those brown doe eyes. You pressed your knees on the inside of his thighs, keeping them open.

“Answer to the second question is C.”

When Jungkook didn’t move, you reached over and cupped his chin. Felt his racing heartbeat pounding through his veins, coursing through your fingertips. Stared deep into those eyes, lowering the octave of your voice, keeping his thighs spread for you under the table.

“Listen to me,” you murmured softly. “Okay, Jungkook?”

“O… Okay…”

And he did.

There was a rumor.

Nobody liked you. Maybe it was because of your high scores ruining the class test average. Maybe it was the dismissive way you spoke to people, almost demeaning. Most likely it was a combination of the two. Students talked behind your back all the time, spreading rumors. Friends? What friends? You had an average of twenty class credits a semester. You didn’t have time to make friends. And besides, why try to make friends when clearly nobody wanted to be your friend?

And yet.

There was a rumor.

You ignored such things. You didn’t need such distractions.

“It would be too suspicious if you got full marks. This score is high enough.”

“O… Okay…”

“Get on the table.”

Jungkook scrambled on the wooden tabletop as you pushed his exam aside. You were still sitting in your chair. Your head tilted, eyebrow lifting at his speedy response to your rather suspicious request.

“You listened.”

He blinked at you. “Uh… yeah?”

Silence.

“Why?” you finally said.

Jungkook gulped. “Be… because you asked,” he mumbled, knees on the table, hands clutching his knees.

“You can just walk out and report me.”

He shook his head quickly, black hair flying everywhere. “I don’t want to.”

Your other eyebrow raised. He chewed on his lip, a flash of pink tongue in his movement.

“Tell me what you want. I’ll do it.”

Well.

You decided to test his conviction.

“Edge of the table. Spread your legs for me.”

Instantly, obediently, Jeon Jungkook surprised you by doing it, putting each leg on either side of you, chunky black sneakers hanging down. Shredded black shirt open, hands behind his ass, towering over you, and yet his eyes were watching you, waiting for more, begging for instruction.

“Hm.”

You raised your chin, seeing his impressively muscular thighs and body displayed for you to take. He was so close you could smell his clean, dreamy scent, like a meadow in summer dusk, surrounded by peeking stars and blinking fireflies. Interesting.

But you didn’t need the distraction.

“That’s it. You can go now,” you said dismissively, about to push your chair back.

His legs closed in, pressing firmly into your upper arms. Your eyes flickered up to him.

Jungkook shook his head very slowly.

“Do what you want.”

You saw his chest rise and fall, his silvery voice deepening, pupils expanding.

“I know you want to do something to me.”

His erection was bulging against the zipper of his black jeans. Your eyes went back to his face. He shivered at your sharp stare. All of this was happening in an otherwise empty lecture hall, with you and Jungkook at the very bottom.

Just you and him.

You placed your hands on his thighs. He jumped a little, but scooted closer to you. You slid your hands up. You undid the button of his jeans, scrutinizing those brown eyes. He raised his hips to help you as you pulled the zipper down.

“You don’t know me,” you finally said, no inflection in your voice.

He didn’t look away. “I don’t care.”

“Hmm.” You smirked. “Bad boy, aren’t you?”

Jungkook shook his head slightly, but didn’t break eye contact as you pulled his pants to his knees and reached for his black boxer briefs. “No. I’m a good guy. I want to give you what you want.” You hooked your fingers over the waistband and nicked his skin with your nails, making him gasp, the pleasure evident in his tone. He did not try to hide it from you. “I want to be good for you.”

“Why is that?”

He hung his head a little.

“Something about… how you make me feel…” he muttered. His gaze finally faltered. You reached up and righted his chin, forcing him to look at you. Saw that Jungkook had a mole under his mouth, perfectly in the center. He had a nice shape to his pink lips. You tapped his cheek, nudging him to elaborate. “You… You’re so pretty… and smart… Everyone looks up to you because you have such good grades…”

You doubted that.

Jungkook probably had no idea that most of the school hated your guts.

You didn’t have classes with Jungkook, but you were sure he knew your name because your name was posted on the Dean’s List of the highest-ranking students of the university every semester. Also, you weren’t hard to miss. Every student moved out of your way when you walked through the halls, whispering behind their hands.

Jungkook brought you back to the present.

“I feel,” he whispered, voice trembling, gaze locking with yours. “I feel like I want to be on my knees for you.”

His skin was warm under your nails.

“Like this is where I belong, in your hands.”

You stood up.

Jungkook started, turning into a tight squeak as you placed your hand on his chest and pushed him down.

“Lift up your shirt with both hands.”

He did was he was told, revealing his toned abs and the lower half of his pecs, biting his lip, clutching onto his tank top, ears turning red as he craned his head to look down at you. You didn’t give him any satisfying response. His tan skin seemed to glow under the overhead lights. You studied his face.

Reached up and began to rub his erection through his underwear.

“A… ah…”

“Gonna make you cum like this.”

He shook his head quickly. “P… Please, no…”

You felt him swell and twitch under your hand. He was pretty big. Thick. Pretty boy with a pretty dick, probably. You rubbed the head with your palm, feeling his pre-cum leaking through the thin fabric. He wasn’t kidding when he said you made him feel some kind of way.

“Why not? Make you cum in your underwear and then you have to go all the way home covered in it. All dirty, just for me.”

His handsome face twisted with sinful pleasure at your suggestion, whimpers in his throat. His cock jerked with need, wanting it.

“O… Okay. Whatever you want.”

So obedient.

“So obedient, Jungkook,” you purred, rubbing faster.

He nodded. “For you. Only for you. Just for you.”

Was it just saying those things because he thought that was what you wanted to hear? Or was that how he actually felt? Surely not the latter, considering he didn’t really know you. You leaned over him, placing your free elbow on the table to stabilize yourself. You hadn’t even kissed him.

“You’re so hard for me,” your drawled, lowering your head, letting your warm breath float down onto his skin. “You want to cum for me, don’t you?”

“Y… yes, please…”

“You want to be my toy?”

You pressed your lips to his bellybutton, feeling the smoothness of his skin, tasting it. He moaned at your kiss, your swift tongue flickering out to that delicious skin, whining when your teeth nipped at the softness. Fuck, he tasted so good that you wanted to mark him. Looked so fucking good that you wanted to mess him up, mar him with temporary imperfections on the perfection that was Jeon Jungkook.

“Yes…”

With breathless, lustful conviction.

You licked up his abs, increasing the intensity and speed of rubbing the engorged head of his cock, the pre-cum already soaked through and creating a slippery surface, turning Jungkook’s pitched whines to deep moans, a melody that filled up the entire lecture hall until was the only thing you could hear, Jungkook’s moans as you bit his skin, his moans as you sucked on his skin, moans as you kissed the hard muscle, cries for more at you left marks, pleading for you, sweet and beautiful, clutching his shirt so tight that his knuckles were white, the black tattoos of his right hand standing out, his cock throbbing in your hand, his hips rising to hump your palm, your name on his lips, over and over and over.

“Gonna… gonna cum…” he panted, sniffing slightly, cheeks flushing pink. “Gonna cum like how you want me to, all over my underwear…”

Your fingertips touched his side, seeing him stiffen and then shudder at your gentle caress.

“Do it,” you murmured. “Show me how good you are at listening, Jungkook.”

He bit his lower lip, jaw clenching, squeezing his eyes shut, tipping his head back into the tabletop, whining your name in his chest, your palm working him, slick and hot and hard, pulsating under your roughness. With a sharp moan, his lower lip popped out of his teeth, dark red and swollen, small mole quivering.

“F-Fuck…!”

You felt it and heard it, the unmistakable jolt and squelch as his orgasm splattered inside his boxer briefs, drenching the fabric, drenching your hand, his embarrassed whines as he realized what he had done but still humping your hand, forcing out every last twitch of dribbling cum, causing you to smear it everywhere, coating the sensitive head and adding to the pleasure, his cheeks flushed red, eyes squeezed shut to savor the pleasure and avoid looking at you.

“Shh…”

You crawled onto the table, still holding his cock through his soiled underwear, squeezing it, free hand slipping under his head and lifting him, his eyes weakly opening, scared and anxious, but all you did was lean down and kiss him, pressing your lips to that pure softness, exhaling his name into his mouth, his scent staining your hand, his cologne filling your nose, your whisper in his throat.

“Time for you to go home.”

Jungkook thought you would tell everyone.

You did no such thing.

Instead, you ignored him.

He would see you three times a week and, three times a week, you arrived with the professor and left with the professor. Jungkook tried much harder to attend classes, but you seemed not to care either way. He would come to the front and collect his assignment and find that you had marked it up exactly like everyone else, red marks all over his incorrect answers. You didn’t even look in his direction.

The next exam was coming up quickly.

Part of him considered skipping exam day to have one-on-one time with you again.

“Jungkook.”

He jumped, jerking his head towards the hall, confused. Somehow, he had heard your voice. Or rather, did he imagine it? His teeth sunk into his lip, placing a hand on his forehead, confused. His head was confused. He couldn’t think straight. Why had he done such an embarrassing thing with you? Even you had told him to leave and report you. But Jungkook just couldn’t. Not then and not now. He had asked for it.

He still wanted it.

Nobody knew. Everybody thought he was a cocky, womanizing playboy. And he was, but not because of the sex. It was only because he was bored and that was all he could get. There was power in being on top.

And there was power in letting go.

You were bad for him.

He was a good guy.

You were a bad bitch.

And nobody knew.

A hand slapped down on his shoulder and yanked him around, the loose short sleeves of his yellow tropical shirt flaring out, making his sunglasses rattle on his face. You narrowed your eyes at him. Instant shivers down his spine at your stern gaze.

“Are you deaf?” you snapped. “I’ve been calling your name for the past minute.”

“I… S-Sor–”

You waved a hand dismissively, grabbing his right hand and slapping down a post-it into it.

“Chapters for the exam, including the date and time. Do not miss it this time. I will not let you make it up and fail you on the spot.”

You turned on your heel, letting go of his hand.

His left one shot out and circled around your arm, his rings pressing into your skin.

“Wait.”

You jerked your head towards him, glaring sharply. “Don’t touch me.”

And you yanked your arm out of his grasp, but his legs made the choice for him, following your swift strides, his backpack hanging off one shoulder, clutching the post-it and his last strands of sanity.

“Please, wait.”

“What?” was your curt response, not looking back at him.

“Please do it again,” he gasped breathlessly, unable to stop himself.

“Do what?”

“Have your way with me.”

You stopped walking.

Jungkook walked straight into your back and banged his nose on your head. He winced, stepping back and rubbing it gingerly. He didn’t register you turning around until it was too late and you were right in his face. You raised your chin and eyebrow simultaneously.

“No.”

He blinked rapidly, his tinted sunglasses halfway down the bridge of his nose.

“W… Why? Did you not like it? Was… was I bad?”

You let out an amused scoff.

The side of your lips curved upwards.

He had made you smile, even if only a little bit. Just that small thing was enough to feed his courage.

“I…” Jungkook coughed, clearing his throat before he spoke again, voice still a soft whisper in his embarrassment even though no one was around to eavesdrop. “I can be better. I can do better.”

Silence.

He thought you were going to walk away again.

You reached up and plucked his glasses off his nose. Folded them neatly and tucked them in his tropical shirt pocket. Then your eyes found his again and he knew something was different. He could see you clearly now, his vision no longer clouded by sienna.

Now, Jungkook could no longer stop it.

He could feel it all over him, coursing through his veins, arousal like fire. Something about you and something about him. Jungkook could sense the danger, but he didn’t want to run even though he knew he should. He had heard the rumors surrounding you. They could be true.

And yet.

“I want it,” Jungkook breathed, inviting himself into the danger. “I want you. I want to be your toy.”

Your discerning expression didn’t change.

You reached up and gripped his chin, digging your nails into his soft skin.

He whimpered in his chest, moving closer to you.

“What’s my name?”

His brows furrowed, saying your name hesitantly.

You pulled his chin down so he was eye-level.

“Next time you say my name, I will be choking it out of you.”

Everyone thought Jeon Jungkook was the kind of guy to grip your wrist with his left hand and your throat in his right, his lips against your ear and his sweaty chest against your back as you slapped your ass into his crotch and fucked yourself with his rock-hard cock, his smirk in your ear as he provided you with a certain type of encouragement.

“That’s right, you want this dick, don’t you? Show me. Prove to me you want it.”

His fingertips tightening against the sides of your neck, listening to your pathetic cries and moans as you tried to squirm against him, brain running out of oxygen due to lack of blood, running out of thoughts, running out of pleas as Jungkook gripped your wrist, deep snarl against your hair as he roughly finished himself off using your body because that’s all you were, someone to be used by him and nothing more, neck suddenly released with a breathless gasp and shoved face first into the sheets with his right hand splayed on your back, his tattoos and your orgasm crashing down on you, his growls staining the air and a fierce jerk of his hips to spill into your tight hole and leave you moments after, nothing but a discarded toy in his eyes.

You thought.

That was what everyone thought when Jeon Jungkook stood on stage, flipping his dark violet microphone between verses and smirking like a devil, truly in command of every thought and every pair of eyes on him, surrounded by a heavy bass line and deafening drums, guitar solo tearing through the moment to emphasize the next of his lips nearing the mic again, entrancing the crowd with his beautiful lips and talented tongue.

No one knew.

You were riding him hard and fast, torn condom wrappers and used condoms littering his bed, back-to-back orgasms, his head pressed into his pillows, your hand around his neck, the other leaving long lines down his chest, scratching him so hard that it dotted red, blooming lines of pain.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop, f-fuck…”

Jungkook was hoarsely whispering, clutching his sheets, black hair soaked with sweat, raising his chest to your nails, whimpering, punish me, punish me, punish me, and you muttered plainly with a sharp edge, you talk too much, your grip tightening again, pressing onto the sides of his neck, cutting off the blood flow, and Jungkook moaned gratefully, eyelids fluttering, the slap of your hips to his louder and louder, filling up his whole bedroom, rattling his bedframe, fucking him so hard he was slowly sliding up to his headboard.

Your name fell from his lips in pure ecstasy, back arching to shove his whole length fully into you, thick and hard and twitching with need, your slick walls clamping down on him, fitting to him with a hiss. He began to match you, breathless, lightheaded, world hazy, moaning from deep in his chest, I love you, and your reply was only tightening your grip, your hand and your pussy, harder, harder, harder.

“Aren’t you such a good guy?” you scoffed sarcastically, letting up for only a second to let him reply, blood rocketing back into his brain, flooding him with oxygen, and Jungkook sucked in a lungful of air, reeling.

“N-No…” he panted. “You’re the good girl… you’re always s-so… so good to me…”

His eyes locked with yours hazy with lust and love. You almost looked away out of instinct.

“You a-always remember… what I like…” he managed to choke out.

You left him when you were done using him.

You pretended he didn’t say those words to you. There was no point in acknowledging the nonsense that he said in the middle of being choked and barely functioning. You tapped your pencil against your textbook.

You caught yourself thinking about him.

Jeon Jungkook.

Your eyes flickered to the clock. Late at night on a Friday. He was probably at a bar. You watched the second hand of your plain silver clock tick, tick away. You never asked to watch him and his band perform even though Jungkook always made it a point to text you the address and the time.

It was obvious Jungkook didn’t want you to be his secret.

He wasn’t really your secret either. You just saw no benefit to letting anyone know there was a connection between you and Jeon Jungkook. After all, you were just using him.

You stopped tapping your pencil.

Stared at the second hand.

Tick.

Heard the voices of the rumors poisoning you, saying the things they said.

She thinks she’s so much better than everyone else because she’s a nerd.

The only reason she has good grades is because she fucked that one professor.

I heard she dated him.

I mean, there’s a reason he left in the middle of the semester, right?

He had a wife!

Snap.

Your eyes flickered down.

The tip of your pencil lead rolled across the page, leaving tiny pinpricks of granite.

There was never any evidence because nothing happened. Nothing happened between you and said psychology professor. He left in the middle of the semester because his wife had a miscarriage and he wanted to be with her. It had nothing to do with you. You had long discussions with him about life and existentialism, hanging out during his office hours.

Sometimes, you felt bad.

Had you kept him from his wife? Would it have not happened if he just skipped his office hours and didn’t spend them talking to you? These were irrational, foolish thoughts. They made you guilty even when there was nothing to be guilty about.

He was a nice guy, mid-thirties. Everyone liked this professor.

They blamed you because they didn’t know.

Only you knew, because he told you with tears in his eyes and thanked you for being his student.

You didn’t tell anyone, because he did not owe you an explanation and you were not going to divulge someone’s personal business that they had shared with you in confidence. You watched your reputation crumble and fall apart, watched friends ostracize you, because you didn’t tell them anything and they didn’t believe you. You watched yourself turn bitter and hateful.

Just tell the truth.

There was no truth to be told.

You put your pencil down.

Closed your eyes.

Remembered Jungkook’s face.

Your hands were in his hair, pulling hard. His hot breath was in your face, arms shaking as he held himself up, fucking you into his mattress with whines in his chest, begging you, begging you, begging you.

“P-Please… let me cum, please…”

You liked to watch the sweat clinging to his high cheekbones and neck, jaw glistening with tension, feeling his strong body between your legs, his twitching hardness sliding into you repeatedly in rough, hard smacks, squeezing him every time he was fully sheathed inside you, vibrations coursing through you every time he came down.

“Not until I’m done,” you growled and he whimpered, pleading look in those brown doe eyes, black pupils expanded, unable to cum because a vibrating cock ring was restricting his orgasm, keeping him hard but unable to climax, sending thundering pleasure through him and into you. He watched helplessly as you gripped his hair, hissing sharply as another wave of pleasure overtook you, closing your eyes to savor it, savor his swollen cock twitching inside you as he felt the intense massage of your pussy walls closing around him, throbbing around the head and driving him insane, moaning pathetically because he couldn’t follow suit no matter how desperate he was.

Jungkook didn’t ask if you were done.

He just kept going because you told him he couldn’t cum until you were done.

And you didn’t say you were done.

You stared into those brown orbs, hazy with lust and full of conviction to be good for you.

Desperate to be the best and the only one, not knowing there was no one else because no one else wanted you like the way Jeon Jungkook wanted you.

“Pull out.”

“B-But…”

“You heard me,” you exhaled, throbs of pleasure still trembling through you. Your hands slid down, cupping his chin, nails digging into his sweaty cheeks. “Obey.”

With a pained whine, Jungkook obeyed, pulling out of you, his cock covered in your juices, wearing a condom and the black cock ring. You reached over with one hand to press the button on the remote to turn in off.

“Take it all off. Let me see your cock.”

He reached down and slowly pulled the cock ring off, taking the condom with it, whimpering at the sensitivity, his tone hitting a lovely pitched groan as the silicone squeezed the base of the head. His whole body was shaking as it fell from his hands, the veins on his length standing out, head purple-red and angry, white pre-cum slowly beading at the tip, and his face, looking down at you, waiting for your next move.

Cock waiting to be used.

You tapped your chest.

“Cum on my tits.”

“B-But–”

You cut him off.

“You’re going to cum on my tits and then you’re going to lick it off while I watch.”

He listened.

Jungkook straddled your waist with his thighs, muscular and defined, right hand wrapping around his cock, sweat making the tattoos on his forearm and shoulder glow in the low light, smelling like sex and musk, his core tightening as he touched his overstimulated length, using the lube of the condom and his own pre-cum to add to the pleasure as he began to stroke himself, moaning as you lifted your hands and cupped your breasts, pushing them together, his eyes on the curve of your cleavage and points of your hard nipples sticking out, and then your face, an indifferent look with a cocked eyebrow, taunting him, unimpressed by his timid grip on his cock, so he squeezed harder, tighter, embarrassing cries falling from his mouth, living for the smirk that slowly began to form on your lips.

It empowered him somehow, that smirk, the little inkling of satisfaction that Jungkook wanted, needed, craved, knowing he was doing well, being good, furiously pumping his aching cock over your pressed-together tits and he couldn’t last, couldn’t help it, too overstimulated and too turned on, too in love with this to prevent himself from tipping over with a hot gasp, spilling streams of sticky white lines over your breasts, spreading them everywhere, making a huge mess because he wanted a huge mess to clean up, shoving the head into your cleavage and shuddering at the sensation of warmth to his scorching heat, able to feel the pulse of the engorged tip dripping out what was left, shivers up and down his spine, the words falling from his mouth that he never stopped saying even though you never acknowledged them.

“I... l-love you…”

He stayed like that for nearly a full minute, but you didn’t tell him to get off.

His eyes were closed, savoring the feeling.

Slowly, Jungkook gingerly removed himself, lowering his body over yours, tongue sliding out, touching your skin covered in his cum, his taste, mine, no one else’s, him on you, lapping it up, salty and bitter and yet he loved it, loved that you told him to do it, loved that you let him paint your skin with his orgasm and now his saliva. He didn’t care that you never said anything to his I love you, didn’t care that you seemed to pretend he never said it, because he would continue saying it when he was with you, hopeless as it was.

It was the small things that kept him going, sucking his own cum off your nipple and wrapping his lips around it, hearing your soft sigh of pleasure, feeling the tap on his thigh that instructed him to scoot up, the small thing of your hand closing in on his spent cock, sending sparks of pain but also pleasure, moaning into your skin as you massaged his balls with your fingers, knowing that he could take more pressure and roughness because he had just came, the small thing of your thumb rubbing the sensitive slit, his face pressing into your breasts, smearing his cheek with his cum and saliva, sliding across your slick skin because of the intensity of the high it gave him, the pleasure and the pain, his right arm coming up to wrap around you, tattoos cradling your torso.

“I love you…” he whispered to your racing heart under his ear, lost in the rhythm of your heartbeat and the firmness of your touch. Jungkook did not care if you hated him saying it.

He would continue saying it as long as he was with you.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing…?”

“Hmm.”

He placed his hand over the bottom of his phone and smiled at the cute girl that was talking to him at the bar.

“Sorry. I have to take this call. It’s important to me.”

He didn’t hear her response, because he backed away, bowing lightly, pressing his phone back to his ear.

“Ah, never mind, Jungkook.”

“No, no. What is it? Tell me.”

“You’re at a noisy place. It’s Saturday night.”

Jungkook pushed through the people, mumbling his apologies and straining to hear your voice over the thundering bass. “I finished. Well, we finished. We’re only drinking. I can leave at any time. I’ll just text the guys to bring my equipment back for me. Where are you?”

“Forget it.”

He opened the door of the club as the dial tone rang in his ear.

Looked up.

Your hand dropped to your side. You were still in your white dress shirt and navy skirt, dressed exactly like you were when at school minus the blazer. Jungkook’s eyes widened. He was in a torn-up long-sleeve shirt with the right sleeve removed, showing off his tattoos. His black hair was wild and half-wet, and he was wearing tight leather pants.

You clicked your tongue.

“I said forget it,” you repeated hollowly.

You sighed and turned around, skirt swishing in your wake.

“Wait, I’ll come with you–”

“Go back to where you belong, Jungkook.”

His hand closed around your forearm, holding tight.

“I belong with you.”

You stopped walking, silent.

“What is it? Tell me.”

You scowled. “It’s dumb.”

“So am I, remember?” he chuckled, his hand slipping down, squeezing yours. “I’m not very good at school.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment. Cars and people brushed past, but Jungkook was focused onto on your stillness, watching your eyes seemed to be thinking about many things. You hadn’t pulled your hand out of his yet. By now, Jungkook knew that if you didn’t want something, you wouldn’t be shy about telling him right away.

You started walking again. Jungkook was still holding your hand.

“It was just a moment of weakness,” you mumbled under your breath.

“A guy…?”

You didn’t answer.

Jungkook squeezed your hand. “It’s okay,” he murmured tightly. “I understand.”

He did not. He wanted to cry.

Your eyes shot to him, pinning him in place. “You don’t understand, Jeon Jungkook. You understand nothing.” You pulled your hand out of his and Jungkook let go, trying to hold his pain, trying not to breathe because he was preparing himself for the inevitable, the moment you were going to break his heart and, if it was right here and right now, then so be it, because he had said how he felt repeatedly and there was nothing more he could do than that.

He loved you so, so bad.

Jungkook knew he shouldn’t, that it was madness, but he did anyway.

But you surprised him.

Your sharp gaze softened.

“You know what they say about me. You have to know,” you exhaled, shaking your head. “You must know the rumors.”

Good girl gone bad.

Jungkook frowned. “About you and the professor?”

He watched your jaw clench.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

Your eyes shifted, not quite looking at him.

“Whether something did or didn’t happen, what does that have to do with me?”

And now you looked at him, guarded, not letting him know your thoughts.

“You…” He swallowed, trying to press the lump down in his throat. “You’re just using me, right? It doesn’t… doesn’t really matter, because in the end I don’t matter to you anyway… right?”

He did not want to cry and yet he did, because he knew he loved you. It was the small things, the way you never let up on him even in class, the way you picked days that were never the weekend and never before exams, the way you would brush your fingertips on his knuckles before leaving when you thought he was asleep, the way on the last time, the last time you were together, that you pressed your lips to his forehead when you thought he was asleep, running your fingers through his hair.

Jungkook was standing outside this bar and there were people he knew walking past, seeing you and him, but he kept his eyes on you, because the only one that mattered was you.

The one he belonged to was you.

He had decided that when he climbed onto the table that day.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and let out a heavy breath. “If people say things about you, then they say things about you. Whether it’s the truth or not doesn’t change the fact I love you. It doesn’t make me love you less,” Jungkook said, speaking at his usual volume, because there was no reason to whisper the truth. “Even if it’s pointless and crazy, I want to be with you until the day you don’t want to be with me.”

His smiled and blinked back tears.

“Even if that day is today, I will never regret it.”

In this cruel summer, you could have ruined his reputation. You could have told everyone the kind of person he really was and you didn’t. You could have spread embarrassing stories of the things you made him do and you didn’t.

Even if he didn’t matter to you, Jungkook was confident that you weren’t a malicious person.

You rubbed your forehead. “The rumors will come to you.”

Jungkook laughed. “So what? I heard a rumor that I removed two ribs so I could suck my own dick. I admit, I considered doing it after hearing that.”

You scowled, but Jungkook only smiled in return. He could see the tension falling from your face with his comment. You clicked your tongue and tilted your head, as if to say, can’t be helped.

“There’s no other guy,” you muttered. “There’s just you and you’re dumb.”

Jungkook blinked rapidly, confused.

“You say it over and over and make me think about it all the time.” You sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair. “I’m not a good girl. People pushed me away and I stayed there instead of trying to repair the burned bridges. I don’t even think I want to repair them. Who knows what will happen next? I don’t think it would be a good idea to put you through that shit.”

You sucked on the inside of your cheek, looking at him apologetically.

“You’re not the bad boy everyone says you are. You’re a good guy. You should find a good girl.”

Is that what you think? Jungkook chuckled, taking out his hand and rubbing his nose thoughtfully.

“I don’t want a good girl.”

He stepped toward you, lowering his hand and his head so that he was eye level with you.

“I love a bad bitch who can push me around and makes me their toy.”

He tilted his head, small curve on those beautiful lips, tiny mole underneath appearing with every smile.

“Which can only be you, you know.”

Jungkook didn’t try to kiss you. He only wanted to look into your eyes so you knew his conviction.

“I love you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you say it.”

He nodded. “And I’m going to keep saying it until the day you leave me.”

Silence.

Ah.

Your eyebrow lowered and you gave him an indifferent look.

“Hm. I wonder when that will be, Jungkook.”

You leaned in, but before you kissed him, he heard the whisper against his lips, felt the shape of yours as they brushed against his, words he prepared himself to never hear from you, words that he thought you would never say, and that was fine with him, because you showed it, and that was enough.

He thought.

“I love you.”

And then your lips on his and his tears fell onto your cheeks because Jungkook wanted to cry all this time and he could not stop now, knowing that he was so, so in love with you and you finally, finally said it back to him.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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bloomingjungwon · 4 years ago

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please write a heeseung college!au !!!! ♡♡

college!au heeseung

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you for requesting! sorry if this is so long, i kind of got carried away and i was kind of inspired by one of my favorite blogger's writing style

major: cinematography (don't ask why, i can just imagine him being so into making motion pictures)

he'd probably minor in like north american or woman studies tbh

i can see him as a really quiet, doesn't involve himself in too many things, kind of student

doesn't really speak up when it isn't needed

but if it's a topic he's really familiar with, you can't shut him up

definitley the type of student to sit in the very front even if the classroom has like a billion seats left open

i also see him as the type to never be in the library, he usually just studies out on the grass or in a very underrated cafe.

lives off of coffee to the point his roomate!jake tells him he smells like coffee 25/8

you know how gym freaks take a shot of like protein powder before their workout? yeah that's him but with ground up coffee beans if he is in a rush and doesn't want to wait for his coffee to brew.

it's kinda funny, you don't know heeseung, and he doesn't know you. but you pass each other almost everyday because you also go to the same cafe as him.

like youre always leaving as he enters and like????

hello how r u not noticing such an amazing human being

but dont worry, ya'll meet some day

you're walking across your campus and the bulletin board catches your attention

amongst all the papers screaming "tutor needed" or "join our club", theres a flier SMACK DAB in the middle

"class do20 presents mini films at flint theatre this friday!"

and like, that peaks your interests

because you've always appreciated people's works

but you're kinda just standing in the middle of the walkway and staring at it , you don't realize someone standing next to you

"are you going to go and watch?"

you nearly jumped out of your skin cause like, who tf just talks to someone without getting their attention first

heeseung does

and now he's just staring at you waiting for an answer

"uh,, yeah seems kind of interesting. why? are you?"

"i have no choice to. i'm a part of it, i just haven't started on my film yet."

.... homie, the show is on friday and it's currently tuesday

silence

no words or expressions are exchanged and you're just staring awkwardly at each other

but in reality, you two are just silently admiring each other's features

"do you want to be a part of my film?"

your blank expression turned into a "wtf" kind of expression

"you want me, a complete stranger, to be a part of your film?"

he proceeds to tell you that it'll be a lot easier for him to work with a stranger since he'd most likely not mess around

because this boy needs to get his assignment done asap

and you kind of hesitate but then you're like "well, fuck it. sure"

and then he smiles. and holy

this guy has one of the most captivating smiles ever and you literally feel your heart stop for a small second

"let's get started today, if that's okay with you?" he suggests

and you agree and tell him you have one more class, but he can meet you at a cafe you're usually at

and now it's his turn for his heart to skip a beat because he's talking to an attractive person who just willingly agreed to help him on his project AND goes to the same underrated cafe???

but before he can say anything.. you're already walking away

and now he's just standing there dumb and love struck

but yeah heeseung is already at the cafe thirty min early while he waits for you, camera out facing the door, waiting for you to enter

catches you on film as you walk inside and he kinda just watches you in awe as you're scanning the room to find where he is

you give him a small smile and wave and in that moment, heeseung knew what title he was giving his film

you take your seat and you're like "so, what would you like me to do?"

and heeseung just asks you to do whatever you would usually do at the cafe

and you're like oh sweet. that's easy.

so you ask him what kind of coffee he wants and when he tells you, you stand up to leave and order coffee

he films everything

from you standing in line awkwardly, you picking at your nails, scrolling through your phone, ordering... literally everything

you come back holding both cups (which of course he films too)

"i usually just do my homework while i'm here, but i don't have a lot today"

"that's fine. you can just do it, and if it's okay, i can ask you questions to get to know you better."

"yeah that's okay with me. i can multitask well. i think."

that earns you a chuckle from him

he angles the camera at the end of the end of the table, focusing on you

and ya'll just do homework together and learn new things about each other

like how you eat pizza with a fork and knife because you refuse to get your hands dirty

which heeseung reacts with "do you need professional help?"

but homie blurts out he lives and breathes off of ramen noodles and his roomate!jake has to restock for him every two days

and you're like.... "you're the one who needs professional help."

and for a couple hours

you guys are just goofing around and talking to each other as if you've known each other for years

homework done, three cups of coffee later, heeseung's camera runs out of battery so he calls it a day

chooses the next location to film

a dog park

so the next day, classes done, you meet him at the dog park, and even brought your dog

films you throwing tennis balls, petting dogs, and even you getting chased by a dog

laughs throughout the whole filming process but then internally regrets it because he notices it could probably be heard in the video

breaks it to you that he has enough content for his project

and lowkey youre kind of sad because you've had fun being around him the past two days but you keep it to yourself

"i'm glad i could help. i can't wait to see it heeseung."

loves the way you say his name and now he's sad too because he doesn't really have an excuse to hang out with you more

so ya'll part ways after saying bye

but it's not some dramatic "i'm never going to see them again"

cause ya'll run into each other again at the cafe the next day

and it's kind of unspoken but ya'll just silently agree to sit down with each other and work on homework

you, reading out of your textbook, and him working diligently on his laptop (shh he's editing his film)

and you kind of steal glances his way and he's just smiling to himself as he works

and that's because he loves the way his film is coming along, and he loves seeing you

because in that moment, you both realize you have feelings for each other

but once again it's unspoken cause you're both scaredy cats

you call it a day and say bye and him back

you guys don't see each other until the night of the film show

and you're like okay i'll tell him i have feelings for him after the show

little did you know, he was thinking the same thing about you

but he's up in the film booth sweating his ass off because he knows you're somewhere in the crowd

and all of a sudden he doesn't want to be there

"what if they don't like me in that way?" "what if they take my video the wrong way?"

internally and externally panics

but before he can grab his cd and break it, the lights turn off and oh shit the show is starting

tbh, the films from the other students were quite interesting and you were enjoying each one

but this uncomfortable feeling was forming in the pit of your stomach

were you anxious? nervous?

idk but you were anticipating heeseung's film

and finally on the screen appeared heeseung's picture and biography

you didn't even notice the smile growing on your face

you thought to yourself, what did he even name his film?

"love through my eyes"

....love??

does heeseung have feelings for me too? or did they switch up someone's film with his??

but nope, there was no switch up

you watched yourself on the screen, from you smiling at him at the first moments in the cafe, to you laughing at his eating habits, and to you being chased by the dog, audibly hearing heeseung's giggles

but you thought it was over until there were more clips of the both of you in the cafe

however, they weren't from the first meeting. the clothes you both were wearing were different

wait, isn't this from two days ago? he filmed us that day?

from a hidden angle, the camera caught you two stealing glances at each other when the other wasn't paying attention.

you looked at him with stars in your eyes, and when you went back to your textbook, he stole glances at you as if your were his entire universe

speechless, the film ended, and with his film being last, the show ended and the lights turned back on

you didn't even applaud, for you ran out of the building immediatley, looking for heeseung

and there he is at the entrance of the theatre just staring at his feet

looks up when you hear him running up to him

"so... the film" he starts

but you don't let him finish because you pull him by the shirt and kiss him

and he's shocked because what the fuck they're kising me?!?!

but relaxes and kisses you back

and yeah, that's how your relationship starts

and expect him to film you at random times

would probably treasure "love through my eyes" and play it as a surprise at your guys' wedding in the future

im crying

#enhypen #heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung #enhypen au #enhypen fluff #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen fic #enhypen headcanons #enhypen soft hours #heeseung x reader #heeseung x you #heeseung fluff #heeseung au #heeseung imagines #enhypen scenarios

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awritingtree · 4 years ago

Text

The Glistening Sun and The Glowing Moon

Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!reader

Summary: Remus Lupin has finally gotten a chance to spend time with his long-term crush but he messes up. Will she forgive him? Will he ever build up the courage to tell her how he feels?

@slytherinquill’s writing challenge: Prompt 16. ***A: *In a conversation with B* So… What do we do now?C: “In the other room* What did they say?!A: Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!*** The prompts have been bolded :)

Someone please tell me if they know the new url because I never know when people change it

Words: ~3.3k

Warnings: scars, self-deprecation/hate, body issues, slight bullying about appearance, pining, fluff, tiny bit of angst,

A/N: so I tried my best with how having scars and everything feels. I’m posting after ages because I'm really busy studying for my med school exam and tbh I was lazy. But I finally posted!! I hope you enjoy this xx

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Remus Lupin often found himself pondering what he had done to receive a cruel fate. What had he been thinking when he fell for Y/N Y/L/N, the girl that brightly lit up every room she entered. The girl who was not only smart but kind and modest too, the girl who excelled in her lessons with hard work and perseverance. The girl that was so beautiful, she was a walking masterpiece.

They could not be more different. While Y/N spoke to almost everyone, had friends in every house, Remus could only call seven Gryffindors his friends.

Remus cowered in fear; made himself look much smaller than he is to hide away from the rest of the world. But Y/N Y/L/N; Y/N would walk around with her head held up high, wearing the scar that stretched from the beginning of her right eyebrow, down across her nose and cheek and to her left jaw proudly. Remus had always noticed her around, she was good friends with Lily but she had never interacted with any of the Marauders. Well not unless you count the times she'd tell them to be quiet when they were causing a ruckus during class.

Remus had spoken to Y/N once, on a complete accidental note. He’d heard her complaining to her friends about how she was nervous about the upcoming Potions assignment as they waited for Professor McGonagall to allow them into her classroom. He had blurted it out thoughtlessly like a complete and utter fool.

“I could tutor you!”

His eyes had widened, his face flushing as she turned around with a confused look on her face, wondering who’d spoken. When her Y/E/C eyes fell on his blushing face she’d smiled softly.

“Really?” she had asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Remus’ hair had flopped everywhere as he had nodded vigorously, stuttering out a quiet yes. Her friends had giggled at his flustered behaviour causing his scarlet face to redden further. But Y/N, Y/N had taken no note of his embarrassing behaviour and thanked him for his offer saying she would talk to him soon. The hope in his chest had blossomed like a sunflower under the spring sun.

But that had been a week ago and Remus had not yet held one conversation with her. He’d often witnessed her walking around the corridors with her friends who seemed to always start giggling when he passed by them, probably laughing about their previous encounter, one he believed he had completely humiliated himself in. The only interaction Remus had with Y/N in the past week was the smiles they shared whenever they saw each other and so, his hope dwindled.

“Why don’t you just ask her out, Moony?”

Remus snapped out of his daydream at the sound of James’s voice. He blushed as Y/N sent him a smile, realizing he’d been caught staring. Sending a shy smile back he looked away.

He slammed his head against the wooden table groaning, “Kill me. Just kill me, Prongs.”

“I thought Padfoot was supposed to be the dramatic one,” Peter commented.

Remus lifted his head to send his friend a glare as Sirius exclaimed in protest.

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Lily asked kindly.

Remus leaned against his arm, the heel of his palm tucked under his chin as his hazel eyes drifted back to the girl sitting on the Hufflepuff table.

“She’s just so beautiful, intelligent, kind and I’m just… me.”

He sighed, placing his hands on his laps and playing with them, his blond hair falling onto his forehead brushing against his eyelashes whenever he blinked. All his friends frowned at his insecure thoughts, they hated the way he saw himself. They desperately wished that their friend could see the way they saw him, the way everyone saw him, but himself.

“That’s not true-”

“Hello, Remus.”

Remus' head snapped up at the sound of the sweet voice, the voice that sounded like tiny bells chiming in the wind to his ears.

“Hi- hi. Hello Y/N.”

Y/N giggled slightly at his stuttering but in a manner that didn’t make him feel like she was laughing at him.

“I was wondering if it would be alright if we met up at the library today?”

Remus let out a sound, flabbergasted. Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly proceeding to justify her request.

“I mean you said you’d help me with the upcoming Potions assignment! I thought I would take you up on the offer,” she said in a hurry.

Remus stared at her in disbelief. Only when a sharp pain shot through his shin did he open his mouth.

“Oh um. Yes. Alright. Of course. Today. Library. Potions. No problem. Okay. Yes.”

Y/N relaxed, smiling at him gratefully.

“Thank you!” she said, bouncing slightly in place, “Is after classes alright?”

Remus mutely nodded, dumbfounded, his mind still processing what was happening.

“Great. See you then!” Y/N said before heading back to her group of friends who were watching the entire scene play out at the Hufflepuff table, walking with a newfound skip in her steps.

“You are pathetic,” said Sirius as he watched his friend slam his head back onto the table.

It would surely leave a mark based on how loud the smack sound was.

He had once again humiliated himself in front of Y/N and this time he believed there was no way to redeem himself. There was no chance in hell that she didn’t believe he was a complete moron.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Remus had been hyping himself up the entire day, barely concentrating on any word that left his professors’ mouths. He spent the full day preparing himself to not make a fool out of himself again.

He took a deep breath and shook out the nerves from his body before walking into the library at the end of the day towards the table where Y/N was already sitting.

Her Y/H/C was pulled back into a low ponytail, a few stray strands framing her gorgeous face. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she scanned the book open in front of her. The scar on her face was light, standing out prominently under the bright sunlight streaming in through the window she was sitting next to. In her hands was a quill which she was twirling around absentmindedly as she looked for information in the pages before her.

Remus stood afar for a while, admiring her simplistic beauty, one that never once managed not to take his breath away.

He slowly strode up to the table once he realized he had been staring at her for an amount of time that was borderline creepy. He quietly placed his bag near the foot of his chair as he sat down on it, slouching.

Y/N jumped in her seat at the quiet greeting he whispered. Her startled Y/E/C eyes relaxed as they landed on his figure. She pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Sorry,” she muttered, “I was a bit startled.”

Remus smiled endearingly at the sight of her crimson cheeks, “It’s all right. I should’ve used a better method to make you aware of my presence rather than scaring you.”

Y/N quickly pulled out her Potions textbook from her bag, removing another spare piece of parchment along with it.

“So where shall we begin?” she asked with a small grin.

The two got to work; Remus explaining the assignment and what was required while Y/N sat and listened. The sky outside began to change colours, the blue fading into an ocean of orange, pink, purple and red. The sunlight switched from a bright to a deep shade of orange.

Y/N admired Remus’ face as the setting sun cast shadows on his features. His light brown hair resembled a golden halo at the top of his head in the sunshine. His green-coloured eyes mesmerized her; she had always loved the colour of his eyes. They reminded her of the vast forest standing out at the edge of Hogwarts, the luscious grass, the mint that gave her the morning mint tea. Remus held the colours of budding spring in his eyes; ever-young, bold and beautiful. Y/N’s eyes trailed the shape of Remus’ eyebrows, the sharpness of his rosy cheeks, the prominence of his jaw. She outlined the curves of his mouth, his tongue poking out every few minutes to wet his pink chapped lips.

“Hello? Y/N?” Y/N blinked, almost comically, as Remus’ deep voice brought her out of her daydream.

Her cheeks unwillingly burned under his stare, ashamed that she had been caught daydreaming about him, not that he knew that in particular.

“Yes, yes. Sorry,” she said.

Remus peered at her through his eyelashes, “It’s okay. I know it can get a bit boring.”

Y/N paid no mind to his words, frowning as she noticed his slouching body, trying to make himself appear shorter than he was. His head was hunched over, his neck never fully straight, concealing his face from the world.

Y/N ignored the worried look on Remus’ face and reached forward to brush the hair covering his dreamy eyes out of his forehead. His hair was soft just like she’d had dreamt it would be.

Remus stared at her, his lips slightly parted in shock. The feeling of her smooth hand running through his hair putting him in a daze. Her hand trailed the side of his face, stopping under his chin lifting his head to stand straight up. Remus’ eyes dropped to the chipped wood on the tabletop as she whispered a question.

“Why do you hide yourself?”

Before Remus could respond, a band of Slytherins passed by their table snickering.

One of the members spoke, “Look what we have here. The scarfaces are friends.”

The group burst out laughing. Y/N went to stand up, enraged and ready to give them a piece of his mind but a hand pulling her back down stopped her. She turned to look at Remus confused as to why he was stopping her.

“Leave it,” he whispered, “Reacting will only make it worse.”

The pit of snakes walked out of the library yelling out other taunts and not quietening down even as Madame Pince shushed them.

Y/N gazed at Remus who could not seem to meet her eyes. Upon hearing the rustling of papers, Remus looked up to see Y/N packing her bag, upset.

“Y/N, wait!”

“I’m sorry Remus. Thank you for your help but I need to go,” she said before hastily making her way out of the library without giving him a chance to reply. Remus watched Y/N’s retreating figure defeatedly until she disappeared. Remus sighed, burying his face into his hands.

‘Why can’t you do anything right?’ he scolded himself.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Another week passed by. During this week, Remus did all he could to apologize to Y/N but she would not give him the time of the day. She avoided him like the plague; leaving the Great Hall when he entered, sitting as far away as possible in the lessons they shared, took different longer routes to her lessons through which she knew there would be no chance of bumping into him. She even went as far as spending all of her free time in the Hufflepuff common room, never once stepping foot into the library.

Others didn’t know why she was so upset. No one knew what it was like to live with such imperfections displayed on their face for all to see.

Y/N understood that Remus didn’t like others to see his scars but that did not mean she didn’t. She had worked so hard to build her confidence up to what it was. She had put a lot of effort into priding herself on how she looked, not to be ashamed. She had taught herself not to cower away from her reflection or due to the weight of others’ whispers and stares. So when Remus, the one person she had expected to understand, had stopped her from standing up for herself, for them, she felt hurt.

It may be an overreaction and Y/N should’ve forgiven Remus by now but when he had told her to sit back and quietly listen to the horrendous opinions others had about them, she felt annoyed, offended, hurt. But most importantly she felt disfigured.

Remus knew he had messed up. He had messed up big time. He had never been satisfied with how he looked, the scars marking his face making him feel ugly. But that was until he had seen Y/N in their second year. The Hufflepuff girl with a scar similar to his, who wore the scar like a brave warrior.

Remus had believed he was helping her when he’d stopped her from fighting with the Slytherins but it seemed he had made things much worse because by not speaking up against their vile words. He had in a way confirmed their words, confirmed that the scars were ugly, a thing to be ashamed of and disgusted by. He had unintentionally said that he believed their words to be true, that he thought he was hideous, that Y/N’s face was repulsive.

“Talk to her.”

“What the bloody hell do you think I’ve been trying to do this past week?” Remus asked, annoyed as he shoved another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

It was his third chocolate bar of the day and it was only noon.

“I mean corner her. Give her no means to escape then she’ll have to listen,” Sirius shrugged, moving about their shared room to fall face-first onto his bed.

“Bad move. She’ll hate you even more,” James said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“What other option does he have left?” Peter spoke up as he ate yet another piece of cauldron cake.

“I should just leave her alone,” said Remus quietly, playing with a loose thread on his sweater, “It’s clear she wants nothing to do with me.”

He gazed at the thread for a bit, his mouth turned down.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk. Clear my head,” he said, getting up and leaving.

Sirius lifted his head from his head to look at his two best friends, “I think we know what to do boys.”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

After a long walk through the grounds of Hogwarts, Remus was making his way back to the Gryffindor common room, his head in a much better mindset than before. The corridor was surprisingly empty but he guessed everyone must be in their rooms, catching up on some much-needed sleep or doing the humongous pile of work they’d been assigned.

Remus paused and looked around the corridor thinking he had heard some footsteps. He shrugged and continued on his way when his eyes saw nothing but armours and portraits. Suddenly a push forced him into a classroom, the door locking behind him.

Remus stumbled before starting to bang on the door in a panic. “Hey! This is not funny! Open up!”

“Don’t bother,” a silky voice cut his shouting short, “I’ve been trying that for the past few minutes and no one is opening the door.”

Realization dawned on Remus. He turned around to face Y/N, a guilty look on his face, “I think I might know who is responsible.”

“Your friends. I know, it became obvious when you were shoved into the door.”

Remus smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry. I don't know what they were thinking. They shouldn’t have-”

“Remus,” she stopped his ramble, “It’s okay. I know you weren’t involved in whatever they planned.

“You never seem to be,” she shrugged.

Remus looked at her curiously, “What do you mean?”

Y/N looked down at the feet, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks as she realized what she seemed to have admitted.

“Your pranks. I’ve noticed you usually don’t participate in many of them.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at her confession, “Yo- you’ve noticed me?”

Y/N looked up and gazed into his eyes, “I’ve always noticed you.”

Remus gulped, lost on what to do next, “Why?”

Y/N smiled at Remus walking up to him.

To Remus, Y/N may glisten like the sun but to Y/N, Remus glowed. He glowed like the moon hanging in the night sky taking attention away from the billions of twinkling stars. He glowed to bring light on the darkest of nights.

Remus’s eyes closed in pleasure, suppressing a shiver as she traced his scars endearingly.

“Why?” she whispered.

Remus let out a shaky breath at her proximity, her breath fanning his lips.

“Because I find you to be exquisite, Remus Lupin.”

Remus gasped as Y/N’s lips touched his. His eyes fluttered shut as their lips moved against each other slowly and clumsily, testing the new waters they found themselves in.

Y/N pulled away and began to press soft kisses against his scars. In between each sentence she spoke, “You are intelligent. You are kind. You are caring. You are beautiful.”

She cupped his face in her hands looking directly into his teary eyes, trying to make him believe that she meant every single word that fell from her lips from the bottom of her heart, “You are perfect Remus.”

Remus pressed his lips firmly against Y/N’s, encircling an arm around her waist bringing her closer as his other hand cupped her face and tilted it allowing him to deepen the kiss. Y/N’s hands left Remus’ face and buried themselves in his hair, tugging at it. Their lips moved passionately against each other, their senses overwhelmed with the amount of serotonin coursing through their veins.

They pulled away from each other with giddy smiles on their faces. Remus tucked her hair behind her ear before trailing down to admire the crescent moon necklace that hung around her neck, the metal cold against his warm fingertips.

“So... what do we do now?” Remus asked insecurely.

Y/N was stopped from answering at the sounds of rustling and whispering, “What did they say!?”

Remus sighed in exasperation before shouting, “Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!”

A thump of a body falling against the floor and a few curses later, the sound of receding footsteps echoed through the otherwise empty corridor and classroom.

Remus smiled lovingly at the sight of Y/N trying to hush her giggles by covering her mouth.

“I’m sorry about them,” said Remus after her giggling died out.

“They are not much different from my friends,” Y/N reassured him, “They were chaperoning our study date last week. I’m surprised you didn’t notice them.”

“Study date, huh?” Remus questioned with a smirk.

“Well yeah,” Y/N shrugged, looking at her hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of Remus’ sweater, “At least I hoped it was.”

Remus chuckled, glad to not be the one who was flustered for once. He placed two fingers below Y/N’s chin to lift her gaze to his.

“Actually, I was hoping I could take you out on a proper first date tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But it’s a-”

“Sunday, yes. But my plans don’t involve Hogsmeade.”

“That’s only if you have the time. If you want to,” Remus quickly added, hoping it didn’t look like he was forcing her into anything.

Y/N smiled lovingly, “I would love to.”

In Y/N’s opinion, the consequent radiant smile that overtook Remus’ face outshone the sun, moon and stars combined.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

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320 notes · View notes

meowzfordayz · 2 years ago

Note

I’m so happy to hear you and everyone else had an amazing time!! Rock climbing seems so cool but also terrifying. 😅 Even the indoor ones still manage to be unnerving so I commend you LMAO. Anything else fun that happened?? Utah looks so beautiful (but also hot so I hope you stayed hydrated)!

Ahh I totally get being tired even during the first week of school lmaoo, but that’s great it’s going well for you!! Mine started a few weeks ago and it was exhausting! I was hoping that once I started getting used to my classes it would become easier, but tbh it’s gotten harder. 😓 I‘ve had to create a very fixed schedule for myself with balancing my homework loads, classes (since my school has a block schedule where we rotate the classes every day), and outside activities at specific times which has left very little room for relaxation or being too tired to do my work and putting it off. 😮‍💨 This past week I was trying to power through all my assignments/studying from the time I got home until the AM hours so I could try and have some free time, but unfortunately, stuff kept getting added to the pile. 😞😒 But‼️On Friday I was able to get almost all of my remaining work done and now I finally have time to relax and enjoy my weekend and grind on genshin impact. I forgot how great it feels to sleep in LMAOO 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

And awww haha, I hope you don’t feel too pressured or anything to get everything done (Ik I can’t rly talk but oh well 💀)- aka pls don’t burn yourself out with writing!! That being said I also hope you can healthily get enough done to where you’ll feel like you’ve made progress!! 💕 key word: 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗹𝘆)

- 💜

P.s. Thanks so much for being understanding about the whole anon thing! I’m glad that everything worked out!

Hihi !! (finally have a moment/the energy to answer you heh 😅)

I don't remember what exactly I told you, but we also nearly missed our return flight. 🤭 We literally sprinted down the mountain, almost ran over a snake (it was crossing the trail, so we only saw its body, bUT IT WAS TERRIFYING), and then while we were on the highway found out our flight was delayed (like, got the text while in the car on our way). 💀 In other words, luck was on our side. By the time we made it through security, our flight <had it not been delayed> would've just started boarding, aka: if our flight was on time and we hadn't hurried our asses, then we would've missed our flight. 😂

I hope you got to enjoy your weekend and grind Genshin? 🥺☀️ Balancing ~the stuff of life is difficult. 😖 My partner and I woke up early this AM to visit a local bakery, so now I'm very sleepy. 😆☺️

#answered by T #anon: 💜

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elysianslove · 4 years ago

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hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao

anyways yes let’s just stick with law

meeting you !

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning

and one that’s later on in the afternoon

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over”

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next”

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh

so unfazed lmfao

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking

it’s disgusting how cute you two are

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature

this is a collective agreement right?

right

definitely english literature

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit

that’s kinda what draws you to him

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg

but jason needs this course

and

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and

honestly???

you two work so well together

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team

spoiler alert

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me”

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science)

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits

and

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?”

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person

and he’s super like

patient with you?

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them

ur like bruh i didnt

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3

and guess what!!

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u”

tim’s brain stops working but !

he does say yes eventually

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not

into pda but to a certain degree

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out

damian wayne

business major 100%

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!!

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him

you’re zooming

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this”

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you

you thank him so much over and over

and then you’re like

“can i take you out on a real date?”

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so

you hold the reigns

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh

super attentive, super protective, and so loving

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

#dc comics x reader #dc comics headcanons #jason todd x reader #jason todd fluff #jason todd headcanon #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson headcanon #tim drake x reader #tim drake headcanon #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne headcanon #batboys x reader #batboys headcanons

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pregnant-piggy · 4 years ago

Text

Our little secret

Sirius Black x reader

Words: 3300+

Warnings: nothing, it’s just fluffy and cheesy

A/N: I wanted to write something like this for a while. So I did. At like two in the morning... I would kill for something like this tbh. Enjoy, my loves!

------------------------------

‘You're really going for that shirt?’

‘Not anymore now,’ you grumbled and threw your shirt at Marlene, who was lying on her bed with her head popped up on her hands. She caught your shirt skilfully and let it flow through her fingers.

‘You smell nice, babe,’ Marlene said as she smelled the border of your shirt.

‘Thanks, it's that new perfume,’ you replied while searching in your bra for a new shirt.

‘Oh, trying to smell nice for someone?’ Marlene teased and you looked up quick with red cheeks. ‘Maybe, I don't know... a specific black-haired, grey-eyed Gryffindor?’

‘Confessed your feelings for Dor yet?’ you shot back at Marlene.

Now she turned red and she threw the shirt back at you. You caught it, folded it and placed it back in the closet.

A minute later Lily and Dorcas entered the dormitory, finally finished with their breakfast. Marlene glanced at Dorcas and you smirked. She was smitten for her friend but was too afraid to admit it. And honestly you didn't blame her. You were the exact same when it came to Sirius.

Ever since fourth year you had had a crush on him but you had never done anything about it. For you it was obvious he didn't like you back. He was always going on dates with different girls and never hesitated to talk about it.

‘Lily, thank Merlin,’ you said and turned to her. ‘What am I gonna wear with this skirt?’

Lily stared at you and then looked at the closet. She pulled out a shirt from the bottom of a pile and handed it over to you. You unfolded it and looked at it. You never knew you had this shirt.

‘It's mine,’ Lily explained like she could read your mind. ‘But it's not really my colour.’

Kissing Lily on her cheek to thank her, you pulled the shirt over your head and turned to Marlene.

‘Much better,’ this one said and nodded. ‘What would we do without our Lilypad?’

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled right after. She changed into a light blue dress that matched perfectly with her red hair.

Jealous you stared at Lily as you let yourself fall down next to Marlene on her bed. She turned her head to you and whispered,

‘I'm gonna do it.’

‘Do what?’ you whispered back.

‘Tell her. This has been going on long enough. And if she turns me down, I know we're both mature enough to stay friends.’

‘She’s not gonna turn you down,’ you reassured Marlene.

The way Dorcas acted around Marlene was the same as how Lily acted around James. Speaking of...

‘Lils?’ you asked. ‘What time are we supposed to meet your lovely boyfriend and his entourage?’

‘Five minutes,’ Lily answered from the bathroom.

Dorcas squealed. ‘That's too soon! Look at my hair! I'm not near finished!’

‘You look great,’ Marlene mumbled, but not loud enough for everyone but you to hear.

‘Don't worry, I'll keep them waiting,’ you said to Dorcas and got up from the bed. ‘You coming, Marls?’

Marlene got up too and walked down with you. None of the boys were in the common room yet and that gave you some time to talk to Marlene in privacy.

‘What's your plan?’

‘I don't really have a plan,’ Marlene confessed. ‘I think I will just ask her to talk and then put it out there. What's the worst that can happen?’

‘I wish I had your courage,’ you mumbled as you watched the four boys approaching the couch.

‘Where are the others?’ James asked as he plopped down on the couch next to you.

‘Upstairs.’

‘They'll be here soon,’ Marlene added.

You noticed she was nervous. She was playing with the edge of her shirt and she had a pink blush on her face.

The conversation went but you couldn't focus. Instead of paying attention you were looking at Sirius. He was wearing his leather jacket even though it was hot outside. He looked back at you and winked. You quickly averted your eyes as you felt the blush creeping on your face.

After ten minutes Lily and Dorcas came down, five minutes after Mary had joined you.

‘Are we ready to go now?’ James asked impatiently pushing his girlfriend of his lap.

- -- -

After Filch had checked everyone for suspicious objects, your group was finally outside. You were walking with Remus. In front of you Lily and James were walking hand in hand and, honestly, you were kind of jealous. You wanted what they had, though maybe a little less cheesy.

In Hogsmeade you split up. Lily, Mary, Peter and Remus went one side, Marlene and Dorcas the other side and you, James and Sirius walked to Zonko's. James was talking enthusiastically about a new product he definitely wanted to try.

Zonko's shop was quiet; most students went to Honeydukes or the Three Broomsticks. While James and Sirius worked off their list, you wondered through the store. The things on the shelves intrigued you.

Jump-snakes: surprise your friends with real wildlife!

Nothing works better than Mr Lolas' Unicorn Powder! Lasts for days!

You had no idea what both of the things would to, but they were interesting. And probably slightly dangerous.

‘(Y/N)? Where are you?’ Sirius’ sound came from the other side of the store.

‘Here!’ you said back.

But the store was cramped with shelves and racks and Sirius didn't hear you.

You started to make your way to the front of the store, but halfway through your way the path was blocked by big boxes. You turned around and made your way back.

‘(Y/N)?’

‘Right here!’

Sirius was on the other side of a shelf, you heard his voice close to you. You walked along the length of the shelf and bumped into Sirius. You almost fell and Sirius placed his hands on either your arms.

‘There you are!’ he said with a big smile.

‘Here I am,’ you replied weakly.

Sirius put his arm around you and dragged you with him outside, where James was already standing.

‘We thought we lost you!’ James cried out as he saw you.

He quickly showed you what he had bought and then you made your way to the Three Broomsticks; the place where you had agreed to meet up.

You were the first ones there. You sat on one of the benches on the side of the road and looked up Sirius. He was standing close to you, his hands in the pockets of his jacket, playing with his feet in the sand on the road.

When Remus, Peter, Lily and Mary walked up to you, he took a step back.

‘I, uh- I have to do something,’ he announced. ‘I'll be right back.’

He rapidly walked out of the street with his hands still in his pockets. You turned to Lily and Mary who were both looking confused at the leaving boy.

‘Should we go inside?’ Peter asked, like what Sirius had done was completely normal.

‘Sure,’ Lily said and opened the door.

The Three Broomsticks was full, but there was a spot left in the very back of the room. Lily and James squeezed themselves onto the wooden bench of the booth and they were joined by you on one side and Remus on the other. Mary and Peter sat on chairs the opposite side of the table.

Peter left to order drinks and while he was waiting in line at the bar, Marlene and Dorcas entered. Dorcas immediately left for the bathroom and Marlene hurried over to you.

‘She said yes!’ she exclaimed happily as she sat down. ‘I have a girlfriend!’

The two boys stared Marlene confused, but you, Lily and Mary all cheered and smiled.

‘Oh, babe, I'm so happy for you!’ you said and took Marlene's hand over the table.

‘How did to go?’ Mary asked.

‘Well, I kinda just blurted it out as soon as we were alone. Honestly I don't remember a lot of it; I was really nervous. But she said she likes me back!’

Marlene's face was red from excitement and even Dorcas, who usually was chill and cool, had a blush on her face when she sat down next to Marlene.

Peter returned with the Butterbeers at the same time Sirius walked up to the booth. He stood doubting at the table looking for a place to sit.

‘There's room next to (Y/N),’ Marlene said.

You shot her an angry glare before making place for Sirius next to you.

‘Always a pleasure,’ Sirius said as he sat down next to you.

Your face turned red and you smiled. Sirius' thigh was pressed against yours and you felt his hip next to yours. Playing with the edge of your glass you tried to focus on the conversation. But there wasn't much of a conversation; James and Lily next to you were whispering to each other and Marlene and Dorcas too. Mary was talking to Peter about their Potions assignment. Remus talked to you and Sirius was the only one who wasn't involved in a conversation. He was staring at you while his arm rested on the back of the bench, his fingertips brushing your shoulder.

Sirius had always been a ‘touchy' person, but today it felt different to you. It felt like everything he said and every breath he breathed were for you.

You scolded yourself for your thoughts. Sirius didn't like you. He had had a date just... how long ago? Honestly, you couldn't remember when Sirius had last gone on a date with someone. But you had stopped listening to his date-stories a long time ago, so it could be that you had just not been paying attention when he had told about it.

- -- -

The darkness of the cafe was soon changed for the bright and hot sun. Squeezing your eyes for the sun you turned to your friends.

‘Where are we off to now?’ you asked, hoping to do something together.

‘Actually,’ James started, cutting off Lily before she could even open her mouth. ‘I need to take Lily somewhere.’

‘Where?’ Lily asked.

‘Just somewhere,’ James said vaguely and took his girlfriend by her arm.

‘Alright then. Marlene?’ you asked hopeful.

But your best friend shook her head. ‘I'm sorry, babe.’ She walked away with Dorcas after shooting you an apologising look, but there was a smirk on her mouth.

‘Mary? Peter? Remus?’

But all three of them shook their head. Mary and Peter had plans to go to some store that sounded weird and Remus had to meet up with his study mate, someone that everyone still wasn't sure of was real.

‘Please don't tell me you're abandoning me too,’ you sighed as you turned to Sirius.

‘I would never,’ this one said and he put his arm around you. The warm tingle in your stomach, that you got every time Sirius touched you, appeared just like it had inside the Three Broomsticks. But he let go of you and your inside turned cold.

You sadly stared at the ground while walking in silence next to Sirius.

At the same time Sirius said something you decided to also break the silence.

‘Aren't you hot in that jacket,’ was mixed with his ‘Are you sure you're okay with just me here?’ and neither of you understood what the other said.

‘You first,’ Sirius said and waved his hand for you to talk.

‘Okay,’ you laughed. ‘Aren't you hot in that jacket?’

‘Nah, I'm always cool,’ Sirius said with a smirk.

‘Really? That's the answer you're going with?’ you chuckled. ‘Now your question.’

‘I, uhh... it was nothing,’ Sirius stuttered, his smirk fading a bit.

‘Come on! It was important enough to interrupt my question!’ you teased. ‘I won't laugh. I promise!’

Sirius shook his head laughing. ‘I asked if you were alright with just hanging out with me,’ he then mumbled.

Oh. Something in his tone made your heart sink. You rarely got to see the insecure Sirius and it almost never was just around you alone.

‘Of course! I like hanging out with you,’ you reassured Sirius and his smile grew.

Meanwhile you had reached the end of the village and the start of the surrounding forest. From where you were standing you could see the Shrieking Shack. You knew why it was there; Remus himself had told you.

You stopped at the fence that separated the road from the field and turned your head to Sirius while resting your arms on the fence. Sirius stood behind you.

‘So what do you want to do?’ you asked him.

‘Actually I just wanted to talk to you,’ Sirius said and his voice had changed. It was lower and softer. More serious and less Sirius.

‘Well about what do you want to talk?’

‘Not here,’ Sirius said, making you turn your whole body to him.

‘Then where?’

‘C'mon,’ Sirius just said and he took you by your hand.

That warm feeling spread in your chest again as Sirius lead you along through the forest. The deeper you went the darker it became, until the sun almost never reached the ground again. The floor was covered in moss and little white flowers. You felt like a fay walking, almost flowing, over them. The spots where the sun did reach, the ground glistened with dew drops even now it was the afternoon.

‘Where are you taking me?’ you asked Sirius curiously but he didn't answer. He just kept on walking.

Five minutes later Sirius stopped at an open spot. It was wonderful. The sun shone through the foliage, lighting up the green grass on the ground. Around the open spot were flowers. The little, white ones you had passed on your way, but also daisies, yellow buttercups, red poppies and violet bellflowers. It seemed like a scene from a fairy tale.

But the best part was, no matter how beautiful the space was, that Sirius was still holding your hand. He turned to you with insecurity on his face.

‘Wow, Sirius,’ you whispered; talking seemed to loud. ‘This is beautiful.’

‘I found it last full moon. I don't think anyone else knows this place.’

‘They shouldn't,’ you said. ‘Please tell no one about this place. It will be our little secret.’

Sirius smiled at your words and it seemed they gave him confidence. He pulled you to the ground and sat in front of you, your knees touching.

‘I still want to talk to you, though,’ Sirius started hesitantly. You gave him a smile and he continued,

‘Have you ever seen yourself late at night, stressing over your exams?’

The sudden question surprised you. What was he aiming for?

‘No,’ you answered softly.

‘I have,’ Sirius said. ‘Your hair is a mess, your cheeks are red and the tears are in your eyes. But you never stop, not even when the sun rises again, not when you almost faint from tiredness. Everyone always laughs at you and your crazy obsession with your grades. But I think it is adorable-'

Adorable? Did Sirius just call you adorable?

‘-and... I just... I want to help you. I want to put you in bed and make you fall asleep. I want to bring you coffee and stay awake with you. I want to tell you it is okay to not always give your everything if it physically drains you. But most of all I want to take you in my arms and kiss you.’

Your heart stopped and your jaw dropped. Never in your whole life had you expected to hear those words out of his mouth. At you. Those words were meant for you.

‘I like you, (Y/N). And I think I might be in love with you.’

‘Sirius, I-'

You didn't know what to say. Words could not describe how you felt. You couldn't think of anything to say. All you ever wanted was right there in front of you and he had just confessed his love. You were stunned with surprise and excitement and you wanted to talk to him, but your words stayed in your throat.

Sirius took your silence as a rejection and got up. Your head was still in a daze and you realised he was walking back when he had already almost reached the shadows.

‘Sirius wait!’ you said getting up.

Sirius turned around to you, his eyes sad, and you saw that he was holding himself back from crying. You stood there in the middle of the open spot, sun on your skin and the words found themselves.

‘When other people look at you, they see Sirius Black, the tough boy, the flirty boy, the boy that would do anything to keep his reputation high, to honour his name. But when I look at you? I see Sirius. I see the boy that forgets to drink in the morning if no one reminds him. I see the boy that will do anything for his friends. I see how much you hate it when someone mentions your family. How often you break down even when you try to hide it. When I see you, I see someone who laughs, cries, hugs, kisses, gets angry, plays pranks. Someone who is loyal, happy, sad, cheerful, smart. And most of all I see someone who loves. Because that is what you do Sirius, you love. And I love that about you.’

Sirius stared at you. The sadness in his eyes had gone away, but the tears were still there.

You were surprised with yourself. You had never been one to make your feelings so clear. But now the right words just had come. Everything you had said was true. You loved Sirius. Everything of him.

‘You love me?’ Sirius asked with a raspy voice.

He walked closer to you, still staring into your eyes. When he was so close to you, you could feel his heat on your bare arms, you nodded.

Sirius cupped your face with his hands and kissed you.

The whole world seemed to burst into colour. You wrapped your arms around Sirius’ neck and pulled him closer. His lips fitted perfectly on yours, like they were meant to be there. You tasted alcohol and cinnamon and smelled leather and lemon. The flavours and scents matched together, creating a soft sizzle in your brain.

Sirius’ hands slid to your hips and when the kiss was broken they stayed there, keeping you as close as possible.

The colours of the flowers seemed brighter yet darker. The sun was hot and cold and the grass bright yet pale. It was as if Sirius made the place better yet it was nothing compared to him.

Sirius' grin was wider than you had ever seen. His grey eyes were stormy and showed his passion, while his words only showed his love.

‘I never thought I could love someone. I have friends and I have some kind of love for them but I never thought I could find love like described in books or sung about in songs. But the day I realised I loved you, I also realised that those kinds of love are nothing compared to what I feel.’

A tear rolled down your cheek and Sirius lifted his hand to wipe it away. His hand stayed on your cheek and brought your face closer. Sirius kissed you again with such tenderness it could be felt in the air around you.

You stayed at the fairy tale place the rest of the day. Friends long forgotten as the sun started to set, making the shadows grow bigger and darker until there was barely any light.

Wrapped in Sirius’ leather jacket you walked back to the castle. Hand in hand with your love. And you would never let go.

---------------

taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr @bumbelbeeesblog @ronniethelost @with1love1anu @transparentttttttttt @sirius-satellite @cheoco @girllety @malikinglove @alwaysinmydaydreams @eateraa @bi-andready-tocry @fangirlofbooksandpasta @littlemissgothgirl @always394patronus @heavenly-ascended-melodies @mrs-moony @secretsthathauntus @kitkatkl @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness

masterlist

#yes its another sirius fic #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius #marauders x reader #marauders #jily #dorlene #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x y/n #marauders imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #hogsmeade #harry potter

829 notes · View notes

dracosaurusrex · 4 years ago

Text

Notebook - Draco Malfoy x reader

Here’s Part 2!

Summary: In which admiration takes the form of notebooks, handwriting, and smiles

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Gryffindor!reader

A/N: I caved into an attempt to write this after reading so many fanfics haha. That being said, this is my first fic. Tbh, I’m not exactly satisfied, but I hope it brings you joy anyway. Feedback is very much appreciated! Thank you!

Draco Malfoy was known for many things. To the vast majority, it was his menacing behavior, characterized by his high pride and brash comments. You were aware of this. You even witnessed him in action when he and Harry would clash. Did you approve of it? Definitely not. However, you also took notice of small moments where slivers of kindness were shown by the platinum-haired boy, and for a short instance you saw a warm heart behind his notorious reputation. Because of that, you couldn’t help but reserve a soft spot for him in your heart.

With the exception of being paired for several assignments in the classes you shared, you weren’t particularly close to Draco. This, however, didn’t stop you from admiring him from afar. It was a known fact that he was one of the most attractive guys in Hogwarts. Despite his questionable personality, he actually had quite the number of admirers. How could he not? His chiseled features were emphasized by his alluring eyes and a handsome smile to match. You would consider yourself lucky to be present whenever a rare laugh left his lips. It made your heart skip as you catch yourself smiling privately in response.

This was the case for potions today: Crabbe had mixed up several of his ingredients, resulting in the concoction exploding in front of him. No injuries occurred, but the incident drew attention to him as a thick layer of soot covered his shocked expression. After a pause, you turned at the sound of Draco and Blaise releasing a laugh as the rest of the class followed. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud yourself once the situation had registered completely. Your gaze, which was initially focused on Crabbe shifted to the blonde boy behind him. Your eyes locked. He stopped laughing, but his smile remained plastered on his face as he kept his sight focused on you. The class eventually calmed down, but you felt your heart beating rapidly against your chest as the connection lingered on for a few more seconds.

Your good friend, Hermoine, took notice of your dazed expression, and waved her hand in front of your face.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N! Are you okay? What are you even looking at?” She turned her head so it was directed toward the same angle as yours. You snapped your head forward as you tried to hide the blush that spread across your cheeks.

“It’s nothing! Let’s get back to work, shall we?” You frantically said as you took her shoulders to turn her around. You didn’t want her to know about the feelings you had managed to keep well-hidden.

Your attention went back to completing the potion at hand, hoping that she didn’t catch on to your behavior. However, you couldn’t stop thinking about the boy and the slight interaction you both shared.

‘It was nothing. That was insignificant.’

You were constantly reminding yourself to keep your emotions in control, oblivious to the fact that the sound of your own laughter and the sight of your sparkling eyes had tickled Draco’s heart as well.

The scene continued to rewind itself as you tried to carry on with your day. After your classes, you found yourself studying in a secluded part of the library, trying to refine your notes for potions. You could keep up with the class just fine, but it took you more effort to do so in contrast to your other subjects. At least it was interesting and challenging enough to make you enjoy it.

You were 20 minutes into your study and your mind was desperately trying to make sense of the text in front of you. Your senses became overloaded. Your knee bounced up and down, you began to twirl your quill in between your fingers, and your eyebrows furrowed in hopes that it would make your brain do a better job in processing the information. The feeling of frustration soon built up, and to add to that, you couldn’t seem to get Draco out of your head. Controlling your feelings had never been this difficult before.

Throwing the thought of him to the back of your mind proved futile, as you heard a chair screeching beside you.

“Too much tension in your face is going to give you wrinkles, Y/L/N.” Your eyes widened at the familiarity of the voice. When you looked up, you were met with platinum blonde and the scent of mint. Draco was smirking at you.

“Draco. Can I help you?” You spoke out, trying to sound annoyed while you allowed yourself to submerge your face into your hands. The beating in your chest was quickening just as it did in potions. ‘Why is he here?’ you thought to yourself.

He shrugged, “Probably not. Besides, I don’t think I’m the one who needs help.” His eyes scanned your workspace. Pieces of parchment were scattered everywhere, and your book was filled with make-shift tabs along with paragraphs decorated with desperate markings and annotations. It takes you a second to realize what he was talking about as you lifted your head to follow his line of sight.

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “If you’re here to pick on me, right now is not the time.” You mentally slapped yourself as the words rolled with harshness out of your mouth. In your defense, you really were trying to make sense of everything. The conflict between your feelings and your studying was not helping you at all. You proceeded to cover your face with your hands again.

Suddenly, a green notebook was plopped on top of your scattered mess. You peeked in between your fingers to examine the object.

“I don’t care whether you use it or not. Just give it back before our next class.” You looked up to see him walk off, stunned that he gave you any attention at all.

Once he disappeared from your sight, you picked the notebook up gingerly, running your fingers across his name, which was debossed on the cover. Draco was also known to be exceptionally intelligent, only falling short of Hermione. This thought made your heart race even more all while the heat began to fill your senses again. You couldn’t help but feel relieved, happy, and intimidated all at the same time. ‘Oh great. I’m swooning again.’

Your features softened as your fingers traced its edges, keeping the thought of the owner in mind. ‘This is his notebook.’ You smiled as you mentally embedded the recent scenes into your memory. With a grateful heart, you began to flip through the pages. You were surprised with the neatness of his penmanship, even more so with how thorough and organized the information was. More relief overtook you as you came to the pages that had the content you were frustrated with. You began comparing the content in your textbook to the notes in front of you, finally making sense of the topic.

“Oh!!” You exclaimed in triumph, happily writing down your newfound understanding into your own notes. The feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment had replaced the frustration you felt earlier as you finished up your studying to head to dinner. As you packed up your belongings, you glanced at the green notebook before picking it up. Suddenly, an image of his focused expression filled your mind as you pictured him writing on the surface of the paper. You envisioned his piercing silver eyes and slightly furrowed brows, accompanied by slightly parted lips. His perfect posture, you pictured, was emphasized by the sleekness of the familiar black suit. His fingers were slender, wrapping themselves delicately around a quill. You silently thanked his mother for giving birth to the work of art that is him. Another blush rushes in and thoughts of Draco started to invade your mind again, but this time you happily granted permission for them to engulf you. With another smile, you placed his notebook in your bag.

Once you were gone, Draco came out from one of the shelves, closing the book he was using to hide his face. He glanced at your retreating figure then turned his gaze back to the table you were sitting at. He took a seat and placed his hand against his chest, feeling himself fall for you more as he recalled the loving expression that was plastered on your face when you caressed the notebook. He couldn’t wait for the next time you had potions.

Part 2

A/N: I originally had 3/4 of the fic written out, but after reading it, I just wasn’t satisfied with the way things were going. I felt that this was a nice stop for now, so that I can think of something more...sufficient for the vibe. Thanks for reading! Once again, feedback is very much appreciated! <3

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagines #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy fanfiction #slytherin #slytherin imagines #gryffindor #gryffindor imagines #hogwarts #hogwarts imagine #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction

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sumu-samu · 4 years ago

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Forbidden

“Hiya I was wondering if it’s not to much cud u maybe do a Seamus finnigan x pureblood reader where she likes him but is afraid to because he a half blood and her family and stuff (sorry if that doesn’t make sense) thanks 😊“

Pairing: Seamus Finnigan x Pure-blood!f!reader

Genre: Fluff, some angst.

Warnings: some curse words, not too many but there is still some

A.N: Here it is. Im sorry if it’s a bit all over the place. TBH I kinda pushed it and forced myself to write it. It’s not that I didn’t want to I just have a lot of school work with the holidays coming up and the end of the semester. I hope it meets your satisfactory. If not, let me know and I’ll try and rewrite it so that it does.

Being born in a pure blood family, Y/N knew that being with any one other than another pure blood was forbidden. So if she knew that then why did she feel butterflies every time she saw him smile?

She had started her fourth year with nothing else on her mind other than her studies, like she did every year. Of course this year was a bit different than the other years. With what happened at the quidditch world cup, and now the tournament. All she wanted to do was focus and get this year over with. But, when she saw him.. Something hit her heart.

Seamus Finnigan, half -blood, Gryffindor, fourth year. In the four years she’s known him, she's always thought of him as kinda a dork. He had quite the tendency to make anything and everything he touched blow up in his face. At first she found it stupid, who could have the ability to blow something up without even trying? But then it just became something he did.

“So, did anyone get cute over the summer?” Lavender Brown asked the rest of the girls. They all giggled and talked about the boys of their house and some of others, while she just stared out of the window at the star filled sky.

“Y/N, you got your eye on anyone?” They all looked over to her.

“What?” She looked away from the window. “Oh, um, no… not really.” She shrugged.

It wasn’t necessarily a lie, she really just wanted to focus on her studies, but something about the pyro-prone boy had some sort of pull on her.

She remembered what happened when her brother came home one summer and explained that he had a new half-blood girlfriend. Her parents were furious, they forced him to break up with her and forbade him to write to her, or he could leave the family. She herself really didn’t understand what was so bad about muggle borns and half-bloods, her best friend, Hermione, was a muggle born, but she knew her parents would never allow her to be with a half-blood.

After sitting in the window for a little while longer, just thinking about nothing, she began to feel sleepy. Some of the other girls had gone to bed already but others just stayed up talking about their summer and some of the guys from Durmstrang. She got up from the window and went to bed.

*Time skip: first task*

She sat in the stands, next to her friends as she looked at the arena down below her. Dragons…. The first task was dragons. It was almost like they wanted one of the students to get killed. She worried for her black haired friend, who wasn’t even supposed to be in this thing in the first place.

“Obviously no offense to Harry, but I seriously feel like Krum is going to win.” One of the boys in the year below them said.

“Oh please. Where do your loyalties lie? Harry is obviously going to get this. He’s already had experience with dragons.” Seamus said, referencing back to their first year, when Harry, Ron, and Hermione had got out to Hagrid’s hut and witnessed the birth of a dragon. “What do you think, Y/N?” He turned to her.

“OH, well. It all depends. They have four dragons, each one more dangerous than the next. And I’m assuming that they didn’t assign dragons to each competitor as it could be ruled favoritism, so they most likely have the competitor’s choose the dragons randomly, so it’s all up to chance. And if Harry got the most dangerous…” She shuddered at the thought of what might happen.

“Hey,” Seamus put his hand on her shoulder, noticing the worry in her eyes. “Harry is a very talented wizard. He's strong, He knows what to do if something goes wrong. He’ll be okay.”

“Harry also has a knack to get himself into dangerous situations Seamus, don’t forget that.” She thought back on the last four years they’ve known the famous Potter boy. Their first year, he almost died due to their possessed dark arts teacher. Their second year he almost died in the chamber of secrets, their third year, Serius Black had escaped, and there were dementors all around. During all these things she sat on the sideline, but heard about it through Hermione.

“Yeah, and he always gets himself out of it. The bastard hasn’t died yet. Come on Y/N,

have a little faith in our friend.” He tried his best to calm her down.

The first three had gotten through the task fairly easily, she had a bad feeling about

Harry’s match. They brought out the first dragon and she recognized it quickly. Hungarian Horntail. She took a deep breath, they were keeping the dragons on chains, Harry should be okay. She tried to keep a positive mind.

Harry came out and immediately summoned his broom. “Smart.” she thought. Harry was always skilled with a broom. But her positive mind had disappeared when the Horntail broke the chain and followed Harry. “Harry!” she yelled. “Oh my gods.” She put her hand over her mouth in disbelief.

“Hey it’s okay, He’ll be fine. It’s just like quidditch. You know, trying to stay away from the Bludgers and stay out of the way of the player tailing you.” Seamus put his hand on her back trying to comfort her. She knew he was trying to take the dangerous situation and try and make it seem less terrifying by comparing it to something Harry did almost every day.

“Finnigan, you and I both know this is nothing like quidditch. First off, the players tailing you don’t breathe fire, and want to eat you.” She scowled.

“Bloody hell, stop being so negative. I’m just trying to help!” He threw his hands up in frustration. Once he had turned around and started to talk with Dean instead of trying to calm her down, she felt a small pull in her chest. She knew he had only been trying to help, but she seriously couldn’t get the danger of the situation out of her head and it had seemed to distract her from that.

*Time skip: Yule Ball*

She was currently getting all dolled up for the Yule Ball, with Ginny, the youngest Weasley. Y/N was wearing a (F/C) gown, (reference), she had put her hair up in a messy sort of bun (reference). She was honestly very excited for the night, she needed to focus on getting ready, but her mind kept going back to him asking her to the dance.

“So, I… we’re friends right?” Seamus asked Y/N nervously.

“Um, yeah?” She was confused as to what had him like that.

“Well, with the Yule ball coming up… um… do you have anyone to go with yet?” He still didn’t look her in the eyes.

“No.” She shrugged. “Honestly I think I might just stay in the room alone.”

“No! Don’t do that.” He looked up to see her focused on the work she was doing.

“I mean, I don’t have anyone to go with, and it will only be a distraction.” She rolled her eyes.

“Go with me.” He blurted out without thinking much. Y/N’s brain had gone blank,she froze. Not exactly expecting him to say that. She thought he would as Lavender or someone else, once she came back to reality she felt a tickle in her stomach. “I mean, if you really don't want to then you don’t have to.”

“Okay.” she nodded with a smile.

“Wait, really?” His face lit up with joy. She gave him a nod and he ran off with a skip in his step. Running to Dean to talk about how he got the cute girl to go to the ball with him. Once he walked away she thought about what her parents would say. ‘They don’t need to know.’ she shrugged.

“Hello, Y/N?” Ginny waved her hand in front of Y/N’s face. She hadn’t even realized she had spaced out.

“Oh, sorry, Whats up Ginny?” She smiled at the young redhead next to her.

“What were you thinking about?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

“Nothing important. Let’s just hurry up.”

Once they had finished getting ready they walked out of the dorms and down the hall. They got to the stairs and saw Neville and Seamus waiting nervously. When Neville had seen Ginny he smiled and reached out his hand. But Seamus had just looked at Y/N, with awe. He didn’t move, didn’t smile, didn’t speak. Neville elbowed him in the ribs and then he finally reaches for her hand. “Hey, Neville you two go on ahead. We’ll catch up in a bit.” Seamus looked into the girls eyes, and Neville and Ginny walked off as they were told. “Hello.” He smiled.

“Oh, um, hey.” She said, cheeks turning red at how he pulled her closer.

“You… you look…. Wow…” He said, breathless and examining all of her features. She felt the warmth spread all over her face.

“We.. we should go now Seamus.” She spoke softly, afraid that if she was any louder she would embarrass herself.

He shrugged and moved away. “You need to be more confident. I don’t like this shy side of you.” He started walking away and she felt her chest get heavy. “I’m joking.” He said when he saw the look on her face. “But I don’t think there’s any reason to be all shy. Just be yourself.”

They walked into the grand hall and waited as the competitors got the first dance. And then they eventually joined in. The whole night was a mix of upbeat and slower songs. The night was going great, until one particular slow song came on.

It was getting late and Y/N was getting tired, as they danced she rested her head on Seamus’ chest and they pretty much just swayed. He lifted her up to look into her eyes. “You really do look great.” He made direct eye contact. Normally it would have made her uncomfortable but looking into his eyes gave her a weird sense of comfort. They looked into each others eyes in silence. Until he leaned down and put his lips on top of hers.

Shock ran through her body as she pushed him off. They looked at each other with wide eyes before she ran away. Seamus felt heartbroken. Not only thinking that she didn’t like him back but also afraid he had just ruined their friendship.

Y/N didn’t run back to the dorms. Instead she ran out into the courtyard. The guy she liked had just kissed her and she pushed him off her. She liked the kiss, she really did, but she didn’t want her parents to forbid her to ever talk to him. He was an art piece she could only look at, never touch. She wanted to though, She wanted to be with him, but she was scared. Scared that her family would kick her to the curb. She also felt awkward now. What would she say when he saw her again? Would she explain it? Would she just act like nothing had happened?

She went to be that night with guilt running through her veins and sadness pushing down on her chest

*Time skip: Second task*

She had been avoiding him ever since that night. She wasn’t sure what to say or to do. At this point Seamus had gotten tired of this. When he saw her at the second task he made sure to keep an eye on her so that after they had all jumped into the water he could find her easily and pull her away.

Harry was the last to jump in, writhing in pain, Neville was scared that he had killed him. Once Harry proved he wasn’t dead Seamus went to find Y/N.

“Seamus? Where are you going?” Dean asked.

“I need to find Y/N. We need to talk about something.” Was all he said before leaving.

Once he found her he grabbed her by her wrists, startling the girl. He dragged her away from the lake and to the woods nearby.

“S-Seamus?” she questioned one they stopped.

“What is going on? You haven’t talked to me since the Yule Ball. Look I get it if you don’t like me back, it’s what every, we can pretend like it never happened, but… don’t stop being my friend… please.” He looked at her with soft eyes.

“Seamus, it’s not that I don’t like you back…” She began “It’s that I do like you back…”

“That doesn’t make a lick of sense.” He said bluntly.

“It really does. I like you back, but I can’t. I shouldn’t like you back.” She looked at the ground.

He pushed her up against the tree. “Look, stop playing with me. I’m not a toy. You like me back great, let me take you to Hogsmead. You don’t like me back, fine, this never happened, make up your mind.” He looked deep into her eyes.

“I do like you Seamus. But my family…” She wanted to cry. Seeing her eyes start to water Seamus lightened up a bit.

“You’re family what?” He moved his hand to her cheek, ready to catch any tears that may fall.

“My family is full of purebloods… I-I can’t be with you. No matter how much I want to.” A single tear rolled down her face.

“Stop lying. Why would it matter?” He started to get angry again.

“I’m not lying. My family said that I am only allowed to date other purebloods. Even if I tried to date you, they’d either kick me out of the family or, forbid me from ever talking to you again. And I really like you, I don’t want to stop being friends.” She grabbed his hand.

“Y/N, give this a try. I’ll stand up for you if your family tries to take you away from me. So what? Why should my blood keep us apart? I like you, and if you really are telling the truth, then you like me. No one should get to tell you who to be with. That’s up to you and to you only.” He pulled her closer to him, taking both of her hands into his. “Let me take you to Hogsmead this weekend, please?”

“Okay.” she nodded with a smile.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asked, looking into her eyes for an answer.

“Oh… um… y-yeah… sure.” her face went red. He leaned in and put his lips on her. She didn’t push away this time. She just melted into the kiss. Her head buzzed, and her heart felt like it would burst. This is what she wanted. She’d find a way to get what she wanted and stay in the family.

“Let’s go back.” He pulled away, interlocking their hands and heading back to the lake.

#seamus finnigan #seamus finnigan x reader #Harry Potter #harry potter x reader #pureblood reader #pureblood

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coralstudiies · 5 years ago

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hello everyone! I got an ask from an anon asking for tips on time management so i decided to type this out before school starts heheh…

poor time management and procrastination, unfortunately, plague just about all of us lol. people with a short attention span (like me) and who are pretty much always on their phone (me again) and who hate scheduling are the most susceptible to these.

over the years i struggled with time management(studying the night before the exam 🤙🏼) but! these are some tips that have helped me in scheduling, avoiding procrastination and improving time management.

1. Write it down

as always, we’re starting with BEFORE the actual task. write all tasks, assignments, projects and homework, test dates down somewhere (notebook preferably so that you dont lose it. it doesn’t have to be your bujo and you do not have to start a bujo for this specific reason!!!) and write the deadlines. this is subconscious pressure to do work once you get home. also, since you can see everything, it’s easier to schedule it out later

2. Use travel time

i cannot stress this enough!!!! sorry that it appears in all my tips posts but it truly is very useful. for short commutes, review the content you’ve learnt so that when you start on your homework, you’ve already got the hang of it. ie you dont struggle to understand the chapter and be put off from finishing your work because you hate it. long commutes can be used to complete work itself. i like to place some books and a file under my worksheet while i write (if i have a seat lol) or you can take this time to plan your time in greater detail

3. Actually plan your time

you dont have to fancy it up with like, brush pens and highlighters. just do something on google sheets or excel. divide the day into appropriate blocks of time.

for me, since i use a focus timer (50+10 or 100+20, rare cases i do 120 with a long break after that) i keep my days in 1hr blocks. so i’d block in about 1hour after i reach home to chill, clean up and so on, 2hrs for homework and the remaining time can be divided by hour/2hours to complete my work. you can tweak the timings to work for you but so far this one suits me pretty well.

4. NEVER RUSH YOUR HOMEWORK AND REVISION WHEN PLANNING!!!!

i repeat, never rush. because when you give only, say, one hour to review 3 chapters and you fail to do so within that time limit, you feel demoralised and hence, will not want to work more. this is a very common issue i believe. sometimes i would rush revise and when i couldnt stick to the timelines, i’ll feel so defeated that i’ll probably binge watch youtube to cure my self-pity LOL

give yourself an ample amount of time. Assign one or two hours a day as ‘delay time’ (this was my free time) so that you can catch up on anything that unfortunately, you couldn’t finish. Assign one day of the week to be the ‘delay day’ -- anything that you cant finish the week before, do it now. this means that you can still ‘save’ your plan even if it screwed up somewhere along the way. it works wonders, believe me! i used to have ‘delay hours’ after training where i would (ahem sadly) study from 2330-0030 if i needed to. while i was tired, i always got my work done.

5. Prioritise

this one needs no explanation. i usually choose which task to start on based on a combination of deadline+importance+graded/non-graded. i start early for graded assignments because they count towards my semester’s final grade and i want to hand up the best quality work i can. find a system which works for you! note: start project work and large assignments early.

you can assign simple tasks first to start the ball rolling, and proceed with harder tasks.

alternatively, if you’re at your prime focus, start with the hardest and scale down to the simple.

6. Make good use of holidays + Wake up early

ok i used to game a LOT and go to training a LOT (still happens now lol) during holidays but i wouldnt get any of my holiday work done.

do your holiday homework first. schedule your time well, and maybe stay home and resist the urge to go out for the first 5 days. finish all your work (again, schedule well) with breaks in between.

thereafter, schedule maybe 3-5 hours a day to revise. if you’re going out with friends, i’d suggest you wake up early to study because once you come home you’re usually dead tired HAHA

so how early is early?? during my o levels study break i would wake up at 0330 (yes, for real) but i slept at 2130 every night. so thats 6 hours of sleep wew but AT LEAST i was very productive. think about it this way: waking up early to study at 0330 makes you more productive than studying till 0330. you don’t have to wake up THIS early, but preferably early enough when the sky’s still dark so that you can fit in those extra hours. DO NOT sacrifice sleep. that’s why you can see i’m still sleeping my usual amount, albeit sleeping and waking earlier.

more perks of waking up early: its quiet outside, the air is cool, your mind gets into the ‘get shit done’ mode, and if you absolutely have to use your phone to search something up, your social media probably won’t be pinging. in other words, early mornings are actually a great time to study! remember to eat something though :>

7. Remove all distractions to prevent possible procrastination

YES i know this is the dreaded one. lock your phone somewhere inconvenient and put the key outside your room. or if you don’t lock it make sure your phone is far away from you as possible. please i know how deadly your phone can get so just put it away.

if you find yourself drifting away and looking at something else, remove that.

alternatively, change up your study environment. you don’t have to go to the library or something (you can if you want to). this is as simple as studying in a different part of the house. a new environment helps to ‘prick’ my mind and help me ignore distractions. i dont know if this is scientifically proven but oh well, worth a try.

8. 2-minute rule

this is something i picked up from @studyquill! it’s pretty helpful (although i was skeptical at first). Tell yourself you’re only going to work for 2 minutes, which helps you get into the workflow. chances are you’ll get so into it (ok not in an excited but rather in a determined way) that you don’t feel like stopping.

if you’ve had a long day and after 2 mins you still don’t get any momentum, just stop and take a 15 min break. that means you’re really too tired and there’s no point in forcing yourself to complete your work.

9. Use reminders

set reminders on your phone for the tasks you need to do. for example, if you’ve planned to start work at 1500, set the reminder to ring 5 minutes before so you have time to gather all your stuff and ready yourself to do work. no excuses!!

set reminders for your breaks as well! those are equally important.

10. Reward yourself

if everything you need to do is done, give yourself a pat on the back. have you been extremely productive? great, treat yourself to your favourite drink/snack. honestly i feel like many of our brains function on the ‘reward’ system. if we reward ourselves for a job well done, we’ll be more willing to complete tasks and stay on time in the future (the brain thinks there’s a reward coming)

remember to take care of your mental health as well! this is one good way to ensure you don’t end up mentally exhausted.

Apps to help with time management

1. Tide - focus timer, meditation, beautiful and calming soundtracks (my fav!)

2. Pendo - everything in one tbh, schedule, to-do list, journal etc. (my fav too!)

3. Forest - focus timer $$$ (free alternative: flora)

4. Donut Dog - focus timer

5. Todoist - minimalist to-do list

6. Minimalist - minimalist to-do list

7. Google Calender - your entire schedule

8. Todait - smart study planner

a quick search will bring out many more! note these are all available on iOS but i’m not sure about google play. you don’t need everything to be productive. i rely only on Tide, Pendo and my iPhone calender and reminders. It’s less about having many ‘tools’ and more about how you properly and wisely utilise them to boost your productivity and manage your time.

also i don't think pendo is very well-known?? so this is how its interface looks like for 'Notes':

it's pretty, simple and clean and there are several themes to choose from! i rly like it omg HAHA (not a promo)

alright that's all! hope it helped :>

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zirkkun · 4 years ago

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I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

#zircon rambles #a lot #lol #its very long im sorry #i spent way too long writing this too #also please don't reblog this

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years ago

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I’m bored and you’re headcanons are honestly so quality omfg but anyways write a headcanon of ethan and MC having a high school, slow burn love/not love (angsty ✨✨✨ kinda like us with our muses 💀 I’m not sure if Ethan ends up coming out as gay at the end tho-honestly if he did I’m living for it) love you lots! 💖 your tumblr niece

AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH no no nope Ethan will not come out as gay 🤣 But I am going to take full on creative liberty with this and you’re just gonna have to deal 😘

Ethan and Becca Meet in High School

Ethan Ramsey was 26 years old and a TA for the school’s science department. He took the part time role on a year’s contract to help pay off some of his student loans before he started residency.

At 17 years old, Becca was a senior at a small-town high school.

Becca was an interesting student - very quiet but intelligent. She surrounded herself with the strangest group boys. Those boys were her lab bench mates, and were incredibly subpar.

More than once Ethan caught the three boys playing games on their laptops and scrolling their feeds instead of paying attention.

He watched her carry them all on her back through the course. And ask for nothing in return.

It made his blood boil - they were clearly taking advantage of their friend.

The next week Ethan persuaded Ms. Cook changed up the seating arrangements.

Ethan took great pleasure in marking the boys Cs instead of the B+ they were used to getting with Becca’s help.

Second Semester, AP Bio was kicking Becca’s ass. She needed help preparing to get the 5 she needed on the exam in order to rank Top 15 in her class before graduation.

So she attended Ms. Cook’s after school sessions.

It seemed half the class needed extra help, so they were split up into groups. Half with Cook and half with Ramsey. Becca was assigned to Ramsey.

As the days and weeks progressed, the after school group dwindled.

After a choose-your-partner lab that day, Becca ended up with the same group of useless individuals.

At study group that afternoon, Ethan confronted her about it: “I don’t know why you let them take credit for your work. Be proud of your accomplishments.” “Being proud gets you enemies.” “You’d rather have friends and compromise your integrity, than showing everyone what you’re capable of?”

That made her think.

“I’d rather come out of high school unscathed.” “You can’t make everyone love you. The sooner you learn that, the sooner you’ll come into your own.” “And who are you, Dr. Ramsey?” “Someone who took every opportunity I could. I advise you do the same.”

Over the next few weeks they got to know one another better. Ethan becoming her somewhat mentor and encouraging her to speak up more and assert herself.

She took all his words to heart.

He was proud and a little taken aback when she found a fallacy in one of their labs and called Ms. Cook out on it. It resulted in it being postponed to fix the errors.

Being a high school senior meant having to choose what college to go to.

She was getting acceptance letters left and right but she had absolutely no clue what she wanted to to with her life.

“Did you always want to be a doctor?” she asked one afternoon. “No. But it’s what I’m good at.” “How did you know it’s what you wanted to pursue?” “As much as I regret saying this, it felt like a calling.” “Hmph. Okay.” “You don’t agree with the notion?” “I don’t know what I want to do. I’ve applied to so many schools and different programs. How do I know which one’s right?”

They talked about what she’s passionate about and what makes her happiest and what careers she thinks she could pursue.

That got her to think. Think long and hard and over a few days.

She had a new outlook on life - she was on a new quest to find her eternal happiness.

May came around and she took her AP exam. She got a perfect score. _

Becca has eyes. She notices how attractive Dr. Ramsey is. Tbh everyone notices - he’s the thirst of the school district. Her girl friends even ask her about him multiple times a week. All she does is roll her eyes and say he’s too old for them.

Becca had been all but dating Bryce Lahela for the last year and a half.

They were friends.

Friends who kissed and touched and spent almost every Friday and Saturday night together with the gang.

It wasn’t a secret that Bryce was completely enamored by her.

He wanted her. Officially. And he was tried of waiting.

One day after school, Bryce was waiting outside Ms. Cook’s classroom for her.

He nodded at and dodged every student that passed him as he waited. She was the last one to leave.

“Hey,” he gave his megawatt smile. “Hey, what’re you doing here? Don’t you have practice?” “Ended early.”

They exchanged small talk and Bryce finally began to lay everything out in a young, round about way. He kissed her to butter her up.

“Be my girlfriend?” “What’s wrong with what we already have?” “C’mon, Becks,” he pulled her in closer by her beltloop. “No.” “No?” “What’s the point? We’re just going to break up before college.” “You don’t know that.”

She rattled off all her reasons why: they aren’t going to the same school, they’re young, she doesn’t want to resent him, she doesn’t want to fall in love with him just for it to end badly.

Bryce went to fight for her but was interrupted by the slam of a door. The two looked up and saw Dr. Ramsey and Ms. Cook locking up for the evening.

She pulled away from him and turned on her heels.

At the bus stop, Becca sat with her head in her hands.

Ethan came up next to her. “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision. You’re going to change immensely over the next few years.” “I know,” she grumbled into her palms. “It just hurts.” _

Becca went to Stony Brook and double majored in Chemistry and Biology.

She then attended Med School at UCLA.

Her second year, a familiar name stared back at her from her required internal medicine textbook: Dr. Ethan Ramsey.

Becca couldn’t help the smile as she remembered him. She’d almost forgot about the TA that impacted her life more than she could ever know.

Out of curiosity she consumed all his research. And when she finished everything, she found his direct email at Edenbrook.

She spent an entire weekend wondering if she should email him - Ask if he remembered her and that she followed his advice. She found her calling and it was helping people, just like him. She thought about throwing a joke in there but figured it had been too many years and it probably wouldn’t translate.

When residency came, she only had applied to Edenbrook.

And that’s when she emailed him.

She hadn’t gotten a response for months.

Actually, she didn’t hear anything until her decision letter came.

That same evening she found an email from him at the top of her inbox: Glad to see you’ve found your voice. We look forward to welcoming you to the team.

Ethan vaguely remembered Becca.

Honestly, he blocked the whole TA part of his life out.

Though, once he received her email, he personally vetted her application. And he was blown away. She wasn’t some naïve teenager.

Becca started working at Edenbrook and wanted nothing more than to learn from Ethan himself.

But he was different - jaded and cynical and not as approachable as she remembered.

He pushed her to reach her potential and she pushed his buttons.

They grew closer, especially with Naveen’s case. Basically the slow burn in canon happens.

These two get together, officially, once their jobs at the new Bloombrook Diagnostics Hospital were instated and they were definitely both staying in Boston for the foreseeable future. _

Becca didn’t particularly want to go to her 10-year high school reunion. She went because she was being recognized for her accomplishments with a few other alum.

She brought her boyfriend Ethan with her. “If I have to sit through this, so do you.” “I can honestly say I’ve never been to a reunion.” “Well, you’re my excuse to leave early. Gotta put the old man to bed,” she winked.

She was grateful for him playing along instead of taking another shift at work, and it would be nice to just be a couple for once. Without expectations hanging over them as the heads of their respective departments at work.

They had been in the ballroom for less than 15 minutes before they heard the loud whispers circulating.

Seems like Becca wasn’t the only one who remember the sexiest TA in all of high school history and of teenage dreams.

There were a bunch of intrusive questions being thrown at them and people coming up to them for the low down.

They tried not to be rude in their admonishments but the whole situation was awkward as fuck. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him with her....

But there was no going back now.

And then Bryce sauntered over.

They hadn’t spoken to one another since senior prom when he took her best friend as a date and then hooked up with someone else at the after party.

“Rebecca, you look amazing,” he came in for a hug. “Thank you, Bryce.”

They had awkward catch ups at one side of the table as Ethan sat at the other end fending off questions from other girls and a select group of boys that remembered him.

Bryce and Becca talked about what they’ve been up to, how he’s now a surgeon and what brought him back home.

They lamented about how it’s strange they’re both in medicine and never spoke of that as a career path way back when.

In their long, flowing and unawkward conversation, they settled that it was best they went their separate ways.

They settled on the agreement that they didn’t think they’d end up at the schools they went to if they did date. They assumed love would reign and they’d choose to stay close by, and New York and California were not close by.

With all the long awaited closure finally out of the way, Bryce motioned towards Ethan; “So, you and that guy? How’d that happen?”

She knew what he was thinking and was quick to squash any rumors from starting.

“We work together. Didn’t mean for it to happen, it just kind of fell together.” “You look happy.” “I am.”

Bryce was bold in his next assumption. Knowing Becca as the girl who always spoke about never getting married and being a free bird as her main reasons for never committing to a boy, he wanted to catch her of guard: “Is it love?”

He wasn’t prepared for her answer.

“Yes.”

People change and are allowed to evolve. But it’s hard to imagine someone you once loved as anything other than who they were. And it’s even harder to see them in love with someone else.

#love you the mostest #open heart #open heart headcanons #hc #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #asked #you weren't expecting this and i wasn't expecting to write this #what did i just write????#Anonymous #bryce x mc

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