#I’m begging yall to have salads
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I have a slew of digestion issues & the thing that consistently helps me most is also really simple: daily salad. I’m so serious, if you have digestion troubles please just buy a tub of pre-chopped butter lettuce & a tub of spring mix (with NO SPINACH because that goes bad fastest & will ruin the tub) & get yourself some deli meats & a few dressings you like & make yourself a salad every day. It’s so annoying that it works. I take a handful of the two boxes of leaves & shred up some lunch meat & squirt some dressing on it & I’m done. If you wanna get fancy you can throw some other stuff on there but most days I’m busy or tired or lazy & two handfuls of leaves/turkey breast/leaf sauce & I’m done & I feel better day to day. Just give it a try for a week you’ll thank me.
#me#try to get sauces with SIMPLE ingredients too#I have one that’s diary free Cesar & one that’s dairy free ranch & one that’s oil & fruit#a variety of sauces is key#so you don’t get bored#my tum always handles food better with some daily greens#even when I eat stuff that flares my food intolerances#it cuts the bad days in half#I’m begging yall to have salads#I’m so stubborn I didn’t wanna do it but it makes me feel better than#fiber pills or probiotics or whatever else I’ve tried
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DCASE12!!! (I almost forgot to watch the episode today guys, how could I 😭)
-GABBY AND GRETT FRIENDSHIP COMING BACK YIPPEE
-EW YUL SHUT UP LET HER WEAR WHAT SHE WANTS
-“Tommy my boy 🤟” 💀💀💀💀
-Tom you wanna kiss Jake right???
-Grett please listen to Gabby
-GRETT BREAK UP WITH YUL RIGHT NOW PLEASSSE YOU DESERVE BETTER GIRL
-YOU WONT END UP ALONE GO KISS RIYA
-“Gabby shut the fuck up nobody was talking to you 🙄✋” IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT SO FAST MADE ME LAUGH 💀💀💀💀💀
-Yul you fatass get the salad yourself
-I think Gabby’s hallucination Gabby should shut up
-YEAH GABBY TALK SHIT ABOUT YUL LIKE THAT
-ALEC WITH THE HAND YOU KNOW YOURE GAY
-“working hard or hardly working” 🤓☝️
-bruh Connor says the most cringiest things 💀
-BRO WHEN AIDEN SAID UM IT SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS GONNA SING MR LOVERMAN ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT???
-YUL STAMPING HIS FOOT LOLL THE LITTLE BABY
-RIGHT IN THE BALLS LOL
-OMG ITS SO FUNNY WATCHING EVERYONE FIGHT LIKE CHILDREN LMFAOOO
-BRUH AIDENS SCARED NOISES LOLLL
-“what? 😐🍎”
-Jake and Aiden actually working together what a miracle
-BRUH JAKE DIVE BOMBING YUL LOLLL
-ALECONNOR INTERACTION
-ALEC CONNOR PLEASE KISS
-ALEC AND CONNOR THEYRE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER OMG KISSSSS
-ALEC YOU SHOULDVE INVITED CONNOR TO DINNER BRUHHH
-Derek is sad about Trevor not coming out with them??? He wants him there?????? He wants him so bad
-TOM CHEERING THEM ON FOR BEING LOSERS LOLLL
-ooh now we have a heroes alliance AND a villains alliance interesting
-NOO DEREK COME BACK TREVOR WAS ABOUT TO TELL YOU HIS FEELINGS ☹️☹️☹️
-if Trevor doesn’t tell Derek his feelings he’s going to go insane
-CAMBODIA LOLLLLL
-A TIE WHAT???
-TIEBREAKER YEAHHHH
-aw Trevor sticking his tongue out
-Gabby vs Tom was so intimidating
-I love that they kept their friendship alive
-I’m kinda sad to see Tom go tho
-bruh why are the goodbyes getting so sad now ☹️
-OMG TOMS APOLOGY TO JAKE AWWW
-TOMJAKE KISS RIGHT NOW
-NO KRISTAL AND DEREK KISSING
-NOOO
-EWWWW
-no I feel so bad for Trevor ☹️
ODD NATION CARTOONS STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT NOW YOURE RUINING MY LIFE
ALECONNOR TOMJAKE TREVEK PLEEEEEEAASSSSEEEEE
I BEG OF YOU
This episode broke me I’m actually gonna cry right now ☹️
ALEC FOR THE WIN GUYS WE GOT THIS
(I’m gonna start working on a new Alenick fanfiction tonight since I’ve been holding off of that for a while but anyways i love yall have a good night or day or whatever)
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this is not necessarily a happy journal entry but
i’ve had a lot of happy moments lately. and relief. also chaos but that’s nothing unusual, the happiness is. noticed something that made me upset just now. also opened bumble god knows why. i know fully well i don’t want to date, and yet, i opened bumble. it’s not like i have time to kill. in fact, i have no time. there’s so much stuff i’m meant to be doing. i just added a whole bunch of stuff to my master to do list. here comes the hyperventilation. i prayed the other day. i felt so bad that i prayed. can yall imagine how much anxiety it takes to get to a point where i genuinely broke down enough to beg god for help? but it means something. it means i have hope. it means i want things to get better. it means i feel it’s worth it. this is a start contrast to my indifference and disinterest in living last year. things are different now. i am different. nothing changes. everything changes. it feels like a cycle but also there’s something new about it. everytime i regain my will to life. you can’t force these things. it has a mind of its own. also going back to bumble, it’s such a waste of time for me and also it makes me feel a few things: 1) like dating is so strange, i don’t have it in me to do the whole ritual, it’s not organic, it feels forced, and superficial, it’s not for me, not for who i am right now. 2) it makes me think about aspects of myself that i have struggled a lot to make peace with, such as my appearance, my personality etc through the lens of others, like why would i ever subject myself to such torment, when i know i hate being perceived 3) i am too impatient and disinterested to send the first message or to wait for a response and then to carry on a conversation. there’s more points but ill just keep rambling for eternity. why am i even saying all this, why am i thinking so much about it, clearly this has struck something in me, since i feel so strongly about it and am desperately trying to make sense of it. the thing is. i like who i am. i like how things are going. that is not something i can say like ever. but can now. and i’m doing fine. and i do have the time. to be silly. to waste some. i don’t actually have to do the things, i just want to do them. and a break is never long enough to do everything i ever wanted to do. instead i’ll focus on the progress i’ve made, which is anything but little. i should be and i am extremely proud of myself. oh funny thing happened the other day, i accidentally splashed boiling water onto my face and chest when trying to break a bone in my stockpot. and i gave myself a pretty nasty burn that covers more than half my face. the left side. my left. your right. the side with the mole. anyway, so i dealt with it, i’ve been told to avoid exposing my face to the sun or heat in general. so ive been eating a lot of cold foods. and coincidentally watching that episode on gilmore girls where the dragonfly inn catches fire, and sookie can’t use the stoves until the insurance company pays for the contractor to fix them and she lists cold foods, all types of salads and carpaccios. i don’t eat raw meat/fish and i’m over my salad craze. i’m craving a hot roast chicken sandwich with cold tomatoes and zesty mayo on toasted brioche buns. the way i make it. i’m rlly hungry. and there is this lingering melancholy that just grows if i don’t address it every now and then.
for someone who is absolutely terrible at writing, i sure do write a lot. and this is technically writing. right?
even though things are better, i’m not yet okay. my mind still spins too fast. nothing sticks. i’m in distress because my friends are distress. how can we actually be happy if the ones we love are not. so many people so many attachments. it’s been a while since i’ve even had the mental capacity to care for others. i’m hungry as fuck. something is off, something feels bad. is it my hunger. is it my messed up sleep schedule. is it my perpetually cluttered room. is it the pressure of expectations. is it my godawful health, mental or physical. is it eternal.
i can’t fix everything. i can’t fix anything really. i can’t fix things at a rate fast enough to keep up with the pace of destruction. in this life there is too much to fight against. but also too much to fight for. at least i can take solace in the fact that it ends. which is not so much a fact to me as it is a hope. god forbid the heavens exist. i couldn’t take another minute of being, after i have been so relentlessly my whole life. i’m hungry. i’m scared. i’m hopeful. i’m apprehensive. always anticipating danger but never quite ready for it. nothing is ever right enough. except when i find a bit of poetry that changes the fabric of my being. maybe i just need to be receptive in case some poetry finds its way to little old me.
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GUUUUUUYYYYYYYYSSSSSS
Yall
COME ON
Look - if you absolutely have to use an ai to write a 300 word paragraph or 3-sentence response. Ok. Sometimes your schedule just gets away from you and I’m not gonna judge you for that because shit happens.
But PLEASE FUCKING READ IT BEFORE YOU COPY PASTE IT INTO YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
For the love of god PLEASE.
Just.
Make sure it makes sense. This is teacher!me and student!me begging yall to make sure you aren’t submitting fucking word salad. It’s a waste of your time, it’s a waste of your classmates’ time, it’s a waste of the instructor’s time, IT IS LITERALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE and you are going to get a zero on your assignments and YES EVERYONE CAN TELL BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T TAKE 2 MINUTES TO PROOFREAD.
Please prooffuckinread, jfc
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Okay, can I requests all free! boys (maybe add for albert and kaede too) with s/o who is youtuber (they s/o is pretty famous though) and what kinds of video would they like to do together. I love your writing and tq for it and don't forget to stay safe🥰🥰
Hey lovely! 💕 i love this request so imma pump it out rn (hey Free! queens haven’t seen yall in a while, how we doing? 😎)
Im just gonna do for style 5 + Albert and Kaede for now but let me know if you want the rest 😉
This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot so lets get into it 🤩
Did i proof read this? No ❤️
Haru:
He’s that boyfriend who supports you in everything you’re doing while simultaneously having absolutely no clue what you’re doing
For example; vlogging absolutely boggled his mind at first
“Who are you talking to?”
“Oh I’m just vlogging, do you wanna say hi?”
“Vlogging?”
“Yes, say hi.”
“BuT tO wHo?”
After a while he gets used to it though
“You’re vlogging? Hey guys.”
You have to beg him to be in videos otherwise he won’t do it
When he does though it’s usually a good old “How well do we know each other challenge” and sometimes you can even manage to rope him into one of those “picking each others clothes” videos
He’ll make appearances in vlogs though
Actually quite likes holding the camera
He ends up seeing fans in public and when they come up to him he’s like “👁���👁 how do you know who i am?” But after the initial shock he’s really nice to them
Will facetime you so they can say hi
Absolutely 100% gains a fanbase of his own
All the comments under your videos with him are the funniest things ever with some gems such as:
“Haru really said 😐(😍🥰)😐”
“POV: ur the camera seeing Haru actually smiling ❤️👄❤️”
“#saveharu”
Makoto:
Supportive king!!!
Hands down your number one fan
He’s always offering to help you with your videos
Is always down with being in videos with you
His favourite thing is making videos like story times and doing gaming videos with you
Which are usually pretty chaotic and funny
The gaming videos provide your subs with a lot of cute y/n-makoto content
“Babe I suck at this”
“No you don’t, you’re the best” he says it really quietly while smashing buttons and taking his game very seriously
Vlogs are the best too, he talks to the camera like he’s on a FaceTime
“Oh! Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re doing good.”
Your fans love him
You’ve earned the “mom and dad” title
Since they love him so much you often let him take over daily vlogs
“Hey guys. Y/n isn’t feeling great today so you’re stuck with me!”
The comment section:
“Hi dad 🥺😭”
“Imagine having a boyfriend who loves u enough to literally do your job for you when you’re sick 😭😭😭😭”
“Whose gonna tell y/n that her boyfriend contemplated bringing home like 5 different cats 😳”
Everyone wants you to give him an e-boy transformation
You’re still trying to convince him
Rei:
I think he’d really enjoy doing videos with you
Not camera shy at all
The man has a lot to say
His partner has a beautiful online presence and he’s super proud of you!
He’d love making videos that have a little bit of competitiveness to them
Loves a challenge
Playing boyfriend tags with him is stressful af because he has the date of everything you’ve ever done memorised
Absolutely BODIES the swapping clothes for a day videos
He’s a really good sport and your fans really like him
“Rei looks better in a skirt than I do, you guys...”
“I simply can’t help my calf muscles, my love.”
Not great with vlogging
The comments you get:
“Rei when the vlog camera comes out in the mall 🙈 i do not see🙈”
“I wanna see them wear matching outfits 👀”
“Y/n please ask Rei to start up a studying channel 😭”
You actually rope him into making a study tips video with you
To be fair he does most of the talking and you just listen and look at him like 🤩🥰
He loves interacting with fans
He’s always liking and commenting on fan edits of you on Instagram
Nagisa:
Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien.
Most chaotic baby on camera
Craft! Videos!
Also chaotic challenges
King of gaming videos
He also is willing to let you put make up on him
“Nagisa, I’m begging you, please sit still.”
Absolutely does not sit still but gives you a lil kiss
He’s so sweet on and off camera
Most of your vlog content is just him doing golden retriever boy stuff
Your audience adore him
Videos come up in your suggestions and they’re all like, “Nagisa being chaotic for ten minutes straight”, “Y/n trying to get Nagisa to pay attention for 4 minutes.”
He gets so excited when your doing videos together, “Yeah guys, this is actually my channel now. I’m taking it over.”
“No he isn’t.”
“Yes I am. Sorry babe but you’re fired.”
Mr. Steal your channel
Rin:
😍😍😍 am i right?
First of all; he’s such a heart throb
Your fans are obsessed with him
He always wants you to work out with him so you decide to get some content out of it
Video gems like “Eating like my olympian Boyfriend for a week”
“RinRin, how the fuck are you even still alive?”
“It’s a salad, Y/n, not a bowl of air.”
“Who the fuck orders a salad at a restaurant, Rin?”
“I’m so sorry that you guys have to hear this profanity.” He says to the camera as if he doesn’t swear every five seconds
Those are usually the types of videos you guys make together
The comments you guys get when he’s feeling lovey in a video
“Oh to be Y/n 😓”
“Alexa, play sweater weather by the neighbourhood”
“The way he looks at her. Im in pain.”
“If they ever break up, i want you to put me down.”
Vlogging at the movies is hilarious because 99% of the time when you come out he’s crying
“Guys please stop telling Rin to take his shirt off on camera, he literally can’t say no and it’s distracting.”
Rin swimming content is highly requested
And what can you say? You give the people what they want 😌✨
Albert:
He’s into it
Once the camera comes on, this man becomes a comedic legend
“Hey guys, today we’re uh, doing something. I’m gonna be honest I don’t know, I didn’t ask. My girlfriend pulls out the camera and I do what I’m told.”
“We’re going to give you different aesthetics.”
He’s like 🤗 “oh okay go for it”
Very complient
He’s down for absolutely anything
“Content is content baby”
Sometimes he just comes into your video room and hijacks your videos
“Thought I’d pop in and say hi”
And by pop in and say hi he actually means sit beside you and look at the camera like he’s on The Office
Oh my god do the fans love this man
He trolls them
He sees comments like, “Y/n is so cute! 😍” and he’s like, “That’s why she has a boyfriend.”
They love him though and if he sees them out in public he’s super sweet
Kaede:
(Im ngl this dude kinda scares me)
Probably has to be coaxed into making videos with you
I get the impression that this man is cocky on camera
Did someone say ✨pda✨
“K, I’m making a video”
“So?”
Doesn’t really interact with fans
Or pay too much attention when he’s actually filming with you
He doesn’t really care but he does it because it makes you happy
He’s more responsive when it comes to vlogs
“I’ve convinced y/n to come to the pool with me, she doesn’t swim but she looks hot in a swimsuit. Not as good as I do, but still.”
You have to cut a lot of the stuff he says out of videos
He makes so many innuendos
✨comments✨:
“It’s the way Kaede doesn’t care about literally anything for me 🙈”
“Someone please check on Y/n, she’s TIRED 😩😓.”
#free x reader#haruka nanese x reader#makoto tachibana x reader#rin matsuoka x reader#rei ryugazaki x reader#nagisa hazuki x reader#albert free!#kaede free!
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haikyuu characters as meg the stallion lyrics
a/n: a shit post that been sitting in the drafts for weeks now. sorry for making all 3 of u who wanted this wait. Tagging @trish-writes bc she been posted hers for flo milli and im so late
Karasuno
Hinata: “Im at grand lux eatin a caesar salad with my sugar daddy’” (when Kenma invltes him over.)
Kageyama: “outta any bitch im the hardest in the litter” or “got that big budget with no major deal” // (cause yall know how his ass got invited to the training camp? ENOUGH SAID)
Tsukki: “You was already mad, I’m just adding somethin’ to that” (fight him. lives for pissing folks off)
Daichi: “bitches acting shitty, so I had to potty train em” (mad daichi will dog walk anyone’s ass so theres that)
Noya: “You want to reach out to me its a process” or “moved out the hood but I still throw that bitch up” (mans was not showing up to them pro games. noya living his best life, good luck reaching him boo)
Nekoma
Kuroo: “can you keep these broke motherfuckers off me” or “walk in look like money” (yuh capitalism for the finest man. get into it)
Kenma: “I aint gotta worry bout shit, money GOOD” (and thats on him being a student, streamer/gamer, AND business owner at the same time)
Yaku: “Im fresh off a plane, I’m imported”
Alisa Haiba: “I’m overpaid and pretty, hair hanging down to my back”
Lev: “Bitch this a new outfit, turn to the back for a pic”
Aoba Johsai
Oikawa: “Bitch im a problem, nobody solvin” OR “im kicking bitches out they spot stalli chan” (king went to another country and popped tf off. Coming for everyone’s necks. Oikawa supremacy)
Iwaizumi: “he begging me for the treatment. He throw a fit when I leave” (i just KNOW japan team stay tryna get his attention. be faking all types of shit to make him come back)
Makki: “I have not worked 9 to 5 in a while” (girl thats canon right there)
Mattsun: “Got a big boy then pull it out” (mattusn horse [redacted])
Fukurodani
Bokuto: “I got face, I got body, you name it? I got it”
Akaashi: “I know a sexy motherfucker like myself might offend some” OR “I’m pretty like art, bitch I look like a fixture”
Konoha: “Ayy you bitches is weird” (he side eyes weird shit. Sometimes tilts his head because it sometimes makes sense)
Inarizaki
Atsumu: “dont get hoe, get a bag hoe.” OR “bitch dont like me all you want, run up bet you wont” (talk shit? bet you wont act on it. This mans a pro player laughing to the bank on your ass. He cry about it at night though)
Osamu: “hoe you a copy of me, you a doodle” (he tells that shit to atsumu all the time yall.)
Suna: “bitch do i look like i fight?" (you want a man who will fight someone for you? this aint the one bby. He can’t even fight)
Aran: “In the food chain, I’m the one that eat ya” (man he just radiate mature big dick energy. Grind don’t stop either. Get that bag and blow out his boo’s back all while keeping other folks in line)
Kita: “I’m the only one that make you happy when you’re stressed” (hes sweet. Perfect husband material. But meg, girl i aint ask for this song)
Shritorizawa
Ushijima: “if he say he a dog ima treat him like a pet” OR “I keep it realer than real fuck all them critics and fuck how they feel” (hes a literal king and talks his shit. all facts baby)
Tendou: “drinking henny out the bottle, lets get ratchet”
Semi: “bad bitches singing all my songs like a prayer”
Other
Sakusa: “Nose in the air cause they fucking disgust me”
Terushima: “I know you used to these women that’s timid. See what i want them I get up and get it” (he a nerd, but listen shooters shoot and he might fail, but he WILL try)
#ri jokes hq#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#mannnn this took me so fucking long pls
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Objection!: Chapter 27
Chapter title: Clocks Tick and Phones Still Ring
A/n: ....yall im so sorry for how long this took and the fact that not only did it take forever but it fucking sucks. I hate this I'm sorry I can't just here I'm so sorry
First | Previous | Next
words: 2155
summary: Through troubling times Logans mind run wilds trying his best
pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile
warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying
Ao3 Link
Twenty minutes later...
Do you know what you are supposed to do when the love of your life sits pale and barely breathing in a room?
No Im genuinely asking
Because running out of the room and collapsing to sobs on your knees does seem valid however Logan just stood there. He stood there frozen, Barbara knew what to do. She ran to Pattons side, taking his cold hand, silent tears as she examines his soft face. Virgil emerges moments later, the family rule disposed of as he takes Patton's other side. Roman took the end, and soon the room felt tight, he couldn't breathe.
He wanted to yell
Or cry
Or do anything remarkably human
But he just stood, nurses and doctors rushed by him, his friends talked in whispers of concern.
Why didn't he care?
He could hear the rest of them talking, questions fired at the nurses and doctors, sweet words of encouragement for a speedy and safe recovery for Patton. Telling them how much they care for him, but not Logan. In what seemed like minutes, the rest had decided to give Logan a moment. A moment for what? That was lost on him but alas the room fell quiet.
“This is your own fault, you understand that right?” He finally sets on speaking, not that anything would respond. Unless you count the steady monitor and the wheezes from the machines. “I'm not sure how many times I must clarify this but I'm not Liam. You can tell me things, you can trust me”
He scoffs, his arms crossed over his heart.
“None of us are Liam. You know I don't say ‘I love you’ ok?” He pushes, he can feel his nostrils flare. Do something Patton, respond. “I've only said it to my mothers and you” He glares, why was he just laying there. How dare he? “You took that from me!” He takes a second, breathing deep. “You knew...you knew this was going to happen. You have a will...its reasonable. You have two kids, a sister and assets at your disposal. But they showed it to me, they brought it to me”
He took his copy out, the crumpled and tear stained document felt too heavy.
“I, Patton Hart, residing at 1823 Millow Lane, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made.” Logan begins to read, his hands shake noticeably but he continues. “I leave minor children surviving me, my daughter Valerie and son Remus. I appoint as guardian of the person and property of my minor children my partner Logan Tolentino. He shall have custody of my minor children, and shall serve without bond. If he does not qualify or for any reason ceases to serve as guardian, I appoint as successor guardian my sister Barbara Hart.” He finishes, some small part of him almost hopes that Patton awakes. An explanation ready. “This was recent, you knew, you knew something was going on!” He shouts, he tries to recenter but he can't, everything is too much. How was he supposed to handle these things?
“Logan? Everything alright?” A knock allows him to remember he's here.
“M’fine” He lies, and soon it's just him once more. “You changed it, this was clearly recent because I know you. I know that it takes you forever to trust people...although looking back on this unfortunate event you don't trust me. How dare you do this? How dare you not tell me, how dare you turn away from and do this” He rips the paper, watching its remains crumple to the ground “It's not that I can't do it, or won't” He states “Its that I don't want to…” He approaches Patton, finding himself next to the pale faced man. “I don't want to do this without you” He breaks, the anger shatters as his hand meets Patton's cold touch. “Please Patton..” He barely whispers at this point, his heart feels too heavy to be his own. “You do not get to be the love of my life and then die, you do not get to do this to me. Do you understand?”
“Papa?” Logan turns and eyes in horror as the twins, so bubbly and sweet, lose everything about them. Emile bursts through, his eyes and breath apologetic. “What happened...to papa?” Remus cries, Valerie shakes her head.
“Logan I am so sorry, they ju-” Emile begins but Logan sighs.
“It's alright” He assures standing, Emile takes his cue and walks away, leaving the three of them in the room...well four of them, for now. He takes them both in his arms, a breath of relief knowing they exist, knowing they are there and ok. He leads them to the bed, sitting at the end as they fear their place. Valerie squirms first, crawling closer, but alas her hands recoil. Remus has no qualms, he jumps hugging his father.
“Papa wake up please” He begs, his voice so soft. His energy and excitement for the mystery of life is gone. He wanted certainty, he wanted his father. Soon his sad calm aura turned quick to confused anger. “Wake up! Wake up papa! Wake up!” he cries, Valerie's simple tears, as she watched in pity for her brother, were nothing compared to the waterfall. Logan takes the boy, embracing him gently in his arms, soothing him to breathe. Valerie adjusts herself under the blankets, hugging Patton as she tries to mimic his sleep pattern. Logan watches knowing his world is breaking, and he's only got a smidgen of knowledge of what to do.
“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out” Valerie hums, Remus eyes her red and puffed. She continues her gentle tone, and Remus joins her on Patton's other side. Both cozying up to him, simple and sweet tunes until the pair tire themselves out. Sleeping away, Logan sits in the chair, he watches hoping to protect them for a moment before his own eyes fall prey to the idea of rest.
~~~
A week later…
“So we ended up going to the wrong store” Logan explains as he sets up the meal, the children giggle placing the sheet over the table. The hospital had granted them permission to use a table, and set up for meals in Patton's room. “Here you are” He hands plates to Valerie, she juggles them carefully setting them neatly upon the surface.
“Imma go get napkins!” Remus declares, he enjoys the sweet gushes the nurses give him so running through the halls was his favorite pastime.
“He's not gonna come back with napkins” Valerie sighs, continuing to help Logan. He sits by Patton, recalling their day. “Lollipops maybe, but not napkins” She finishes giving Logan his moment to set the food. He had been trying his hardest, help from Roman and Remy was required for cooking. He followed the recipe and tried for a simple mac and cheese today, with some salad and sweet desserts.
“Ready?” Logan asks as Remus emerges with a bundle of his own finds, none of which included his treasure he had set to get.
“Don't forget food for papa” Remus reminds, Valerie nods already chomping into her meal. The twins had insisted they set a place for him every time, serve him food and Logan would wait until he was alone to pack it back up. They knew he wasn't eating it but it was nice. “He's going to be so big and strong when he wakes up”
If he wakes up
“Absolutely” Logan agrees. So they eat and Emile comes to pick them up for a day away, Logan cleans and makes sure everything returns to normal. He can't say he doesn't enjoy the few moments alone, it takes time to go from a solitary routine, to adding a romantic partner and then children.
But he misses the second part more than he cares to admit. He sits at the end of the bed, stroking away Patton's loose hairs, the freezing touch scares him. He moves closer, somehow finding himself exhausted and wrapped around Patton. Its funny, he used to dream of the day's end when he could cuddle up in bed alone, the world was his own. But he hadn't realized how much he missed having someone, Patton, there with him until it was gone. Sleep had been awful, restless, but as soon as he had his protective arms around Patton, making sure he was ok...Logan fell fast.
“Careful Lo, hes just a baby” Patton smiles, swaddling the young child in Logan's arms. The man fears his own breath, the smallest of tears as he watches the young one snore so easily. Patton keeps his arms connected and in this moment they just are, they feel connected. A soft kiss to Logans cheek as footsteps shuffle behind him.
“This is Jamahl, Terrences brother” Cindy introduces, Patton flashes his award winning smile. The boy remains hesitant, keeping his eyes steady on the little child in Logan's arms, he has no choice he thinks. If he wants to keep his brother safe this is his option. So he goes with them.
“Where are we going?” He asks, as the neighborhood finds itself less familiar. Patton looked at him, he insisted on sitting in the back with the children. Keeping an eye on the baby.
“Home” He replies, Jamahl scoffs shaking his head. “My home, and Logans and if you would like it to be...your home” Patton corrects, Jamahl gets a choice? That's new. “Oh I should warn you-”
“Here it comes” The twelve year old sighs, Patton keeps a gentle grin.
“I have two twins at home, they're both five years old.” He pulls out his phone, swiping to show a shining photo of Patton and two young ecstatic children, “Thats Valerie and that's Remus” He points, beaming with pride. Jamahl nods, ok...not as bad. “They're wonderful and...five years old and very excitable so just be wary” He laughs, Logan could never get tired of the sweet sound.
They arrived at the house quickly, and Patton was not wrong to warn the child.
“Im Valerie!” A young girl smiles, shaking his hand vivaciously.
“Im Remus!” The boy greets, a giant hug. Jamahl freezes but allows it to happen, thanking whatever ethereal being let Patton pull the twins off him.
“Remember what I told you humbugs, no touching unless they are comfortable with it ok?” Patton reminds, they nod before waving their goodbyes. They run off and Logan disappears into the hall, coddling the baby. Jamahl looks worried and Patton assures him. “You wanna come see what's going on?”
“Yes please” He nods and finds himself allowing Patton to lead him into the baby room. A bed set up for him as well, he watches Logan be ever so careful with the baby and Patton respect his boundaries. He shrugs.
Maybe this won't be so bad.
~~~
A month later...
“Its your fucking fault!” Logan decides, Emile shushes him backing him up from Virgils heated face. “Everything that is happening is your fault!”
“Logan you're being a dick right now” Remy announces, a glare from Emile quiets him. Logan scoffs kicking the chair underneath him, scaring even Roman.
“And yours too” He points, his nasty finger threatening the detectives. “Why didn't you do anything, day after day he came to you! About Liam! And now because of your fucking negligence, he was too scared to come to you and tell you about these phone calls!”
“You know what Lo? I shouldn't have told you, as of now you have no legal bindings to Patton, so me telling you that we searched his phone and found the phone calls, that was a courtesy” Virgil spits, Logan goes to approach not sure what his next move is but thanks to Roman and James he has no time to figure it out. They command him to sit, calming both parties and get a soothing talk down.
“You know it's his fault Roman” Logan sighs exasperated, Roman nods unsure but doesn't want to to escalate.
“You know what, fuck you Logan!” Virgil screams, Logan stands.
“You're the reason those children are gonna lose their father!” Logan retorts, that catches something. Virgil pushes past Remy, almost landing one on Logan before Roman grabs him, both surprised by how well they fit together. Silly to think about at this moment.
“Maybe if you weren't so fucking cold they would see you as a father” Virgil replies once more, that hurt. Logan won't lie that his knees buckled and he might have fallen right then had Barbara and Marcy not taken him and cared for him. He wants to keep going but a chilling throat clears the room. Instantly they both look to the doctor who stands, judgmental but patient.
“Hes awake”
#objection au#logan sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#sanders sides#prinxiety#logicality#platonic demus#youtube#thomas sanders#emile picani#remy sanders#ts valerie#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#archive of our own
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All Yours | Seven
“’Was I not enough for you…?’
Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.
‘Yoongi, I’m so sorry.’ She said sadly.”
↠fluff, angst, universityAU↞
word count: 4.5k
↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ���
A/N: yall idk what’s gotten into me. i literally just uploaded a story and here i am with the update of all yours lmao. tbh ive also been working on this chapter for a while so tyj i finished it huhu. enjoy ^-^
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“Come on, Yoongi. Just text her.” You stood in front of your mirror and adjusted your hoodie.
From the moment you woke up, had a cup of coffee, took a shower, and changed into an outfit, Yoongi spent the entire time debating if he really wanted to text Seolhyun. You agreed to go with him to see her because it was his stipulation, but he was the one hesitating.
“You know what, maybe I don’t need closure. It’s all good.” Yoongi placed his phone on your nightstand and laid back down.
“Ugh. Yoongs.” You grumbled and strode over to sit beside him. “Sure you may not need closure, but I know deep down you want to talk about your feelings. You don’t deserve to be cheated on—nobody does. Please text her.”
Yoongi glared at you for a few seconds before he softened his eyes. He mumbled something along the lines of I hate it when you’re right and reached for his phone but took a detour to grab your hand first.
“So, you promise you’re going to come with me? You’re not going to flake out?” He kept his eyes on your fingers as you lazily grazed the back of his hand.
Could he get any more adorable?
“I promise.” You replied earnestly. “But I start work at three today, so keep that in mind.”
Yoongi squeezed your hand and locked eyes with you. Never in your life did you ever picture yourself to be in this position. He held your hands before, mainly to guide you around places when you were extremely drunk but nothing like this. Yoongi had a sweet look in his eye with a smile to match and you were so sure you were dreaming. Yoongi was perfect. Why would Seolhyun want to cheat on him in the first place?
“Okay. Now, go to class.” Yoongi lifted your hand and kissed it. Your cheeks flared a bit and you probably failed to hide the disappointment in him not kissing you on your lips instead.
“Fine. But go outside and take a walk,” you gave him your dorm key. “You need some sunlight.”
After listening to Yoongi’s bullshit excuse about how sunlight was never necessary for him in the first place, you left his side to slip on your sneakers.
Why can’t time just fast forward to later? I just want Yoongi and Seolhyun to meet already so it can all be over with and done. How am I supposed to even focus in class?!
“Wait.”
Yoongi’s voice broke your thoughts and you stood up from your floor. He scooped you by your waist to press your body against his before stealing a long kiss on your lips. You felt your entire body relax and you clutched onto his nape to support yourself.
“You may have more knowledge about people’s behaviors and shit, but I know you well enough that you were waiting for that, right?” Yoongi said with a smirk after breaking the kiss. Your face bloomed crimson and you playfully shoved him a few inches away from you.
“Bye, Yoongi.” You walked away from him with bliss coursing through you and just before you stepped out of your dorm, you caught the satisfied grin on Yoongi’s face.
↠↞
I will die in this developmental psychology class, I swear.
Time in your psychology class always ticked on like you had nothing else planned for the day. You jotted down chicken scratch notes, promising yourself to fix them up when you had time later; thank goodness your professor put up the lecture slides at 7pm on the same day of class. You began to mindlessly doodle at the bottom of your paper.
So many things could go wrong later.
Three stick figures were drawn at the bottom; one with a crude drawing of a beanie, one with hair just below its “shoulders”, and one with long hair blacked out with your pen. You drew scribbles of symbols around the drawing of the figure with long hair indicating how pissed off Seolhyun would be if she saw you two together.
Ugh. I can hear her voice now.
“Why did you bring her?”
“Unless you were cheating on me first!”
You scribbled all over the drawing and turned over the page.
The same stick figures were drawn at the top this time and instead of symbols, you drew tears coming from the figure with long hair and hearts around the beanie figure; Seolhyun would be in tears, apologizing and begging Yoongi for forgiveness and he would play right into her and fall in love all over again.
This time, you fiercely scribbled over the drawing.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Like clockwork, you drew the stick figures. Hearts were drawn around the beanie and medium haired figures while the last one had a giant X covering its face; Seolhyun is completely cut out of the picture and forced to watch how lovey-dovey you and Yoongi were.
This drawing caused your face to heat up a little. There was no way Yoongi would show any affection towards you in front of her because he wasn’t the type to purposely make matters worse.
One last time the figures were drawn back onto your paper and this time, you drew speech bubbles with squiggly lines inside that ended with periods and a few exclamation points. The most likely scenario would be a calm conversation with a few outbursts between Yoongi and Seolhyun. The last thing anyone would want is making a huge scene in front of everyone—
Wait, I don’t even know where they’re meeting!
[10:32] You: hey, where are you two going to have this conversation anyway??????????
Yoongi’s reply came through like lightning.
[10:33] Yoongz: You know the benches outside of the library?
[10:33] Yoongz: There.
Great. We’re going to be in public…
His texts didn’t stop there.
[10:35] Yoongz: I told her to meet me at 11:15 so that you have time to be here before she comes.
[10:35] Yoongz: I’ll be wearing the light brown coat you gave me for my birthday and the blue beanie you hate so much
[10:36] Yoongz: You’ll be able to find me pretty easily.
That damn beanie.
The mental image of Yoongi in the blue beanie made you snicker, but you quickly cleared your throat realizing you were in class laughing to yourself like an idiot.
[10:40] You: okay. i’ll see you then
[10:40] You: fuk that beanie doe omfg.
↠↞
“So you’re seriously going to be there? With Yoongi and Seolhyun? Possibly arguing in front of you? Right in front of your salad?!”
Walking to the library, you gave Hani a quick call to update her with everything that had happened since you told her about Seolhyun cheating on Yoongi.
“Yes, right in front of my salad.” You laughed. “To be honest, I’m kind of scared. Like why did Yoongi have to say he kissed me! Actually… I don’t know what would be worse, her knowing the truth or his lie.”
“Either way she’s going to raise hell, but if you need me, you call and I’ll come running!”
You smiled softly. Hani was serious in the most endearing way possible.
“I know—” Yoongi’s blue beanie stood out at a table underneath one of the large trees. “Yoongi’s there. I’ll call you later Hani or better yet, I work at three so you can come to the coffee shop anytime after that and I’ll update you on what happens.”
“Okay. Be safe. I love you!”
“I love you, too.”
You took a deep breath and approached Yoongi who had two cups of coffee and two sandwiches sitting in front of him. As much as you hated that damn beanie, he still looked as handsome as ever.
“Hi, Yoongs.” You smiled.
Yoongi instantly smiled at the sight of you. “Hey—no, sit by me.” He reached for your hand to stop you from sitting across from him and tugged you over to sit beside him instead.
The action startled you and almost made you lose your footing, but Yoongi supported you by the waist to let you sit down without injury.
“Th-Thanks.” You stuttered.
“Oh, here you go by the way.” He handed you a paper gift bag that he probably stole from your closet. “You left your work shirt and shoes. There’s also a water bottle in here because you need actual hydration and not just coffee swimming throughout your bloodstream.”
Everything he mentioned was sitting neatly inside the bag and your smile was impossible to hide. You’ve been nervous and jittery about meeting with Seolhyun that you completely forgot about your work clothes. Yoongi was a life saver.
“Thank you, Yoongi.” You breathed.
“Of course. Now eat, you didn’t even have breakfast this morning.”
As you had brunch, you spent the time complaining to Yoongi about how developmental psychology makes you want to jab multiple pens in your eyes. He argued that you say that about every class you have and even flicked your forehead.
“You’re doing great though, so keep on keepin’ on.” Yoongi rubbed the spot he flicked with the pad of his thumb.
You felt the weight of your school work elevate at the touch of his finger. Yoongi had the power to relieve any stress that you had in the palm of his hand and it amazed you. Maybe this was just the effect of you being whipped for him for almost a year. It sounded pathetic, but you enjoyed it nonetheless.
“A-hem.”
Both you and Yoongi tore your eyes away from each other to find Seolhyun standing at the opposite side of the table with her arms folded across her chest. Her eyebrows were furrowed and daggers shot from her eyes right into your own. The aura that came off of her was no less than intimidating and you felt as if your soul left your body.
Fuck.
↠↞
“What is she doing here?!” Seolhyun barked as she took a seat.
“I asked her to come so just leave her be.” Yoongi spat.
You silently observed Seolhyun’s outfit; she wore a casual black dress that stopped above mid-thigh and had a deep v-neck line. A cream cardigan hugged her frame and she even made time to put on makeup and curl your hair. If your suspicions were correct, she dressed that way on purpose to use her looks to win back Yoongi somehow. Seolhyun was honestly gorgeous which made you nervous. What if it reeled him back in?
She cleared her throat again and avoided eye contact with Yoongi. “Thank you for meeting with me.” Her voice grew softer and softer towards the end of her sentence and she fiddled with the ends of her hair. This gave off a vulnerable look, almost “cute”.
“Okay.” Yoongi said sharply.
The tension in the air was suffocating and all you wanted to do was run away, but Yoongi kept his hand on your knee underneath the table to keep you at bay.
“So? Anything else you need to say?” Yoongi kept the same tone of voice, annoyed. He truly didn’t want to be here.
“Sigh. I’m sorry okay? God, can we just talk without you being mad at me?!” Seolhyun raised her voice a bit.
“Of course I’m mad! How the hell am I supposed to be feeling? You cheated on me!” Yoongi raised his voice as well and you were even more nervous. You three were sitting in public with students walking by and you were praying to God that everyone was just minding their own business.
“Y-You cheated on me too! You—!” She pointed at him. “—kissed her!” Her finger was now on you.
Yoongi furrowed his brows and squeezed your knee. “Alright, fine. I kissed her once and like I said, I knew I had to tell you because I was feeling so fucking guilty about what I did. You were my girlfriend, Seolhyun! I had to be honest with you.”
Seolhyun tightly pursed her lips together, probably stopping herself from saying anything else.
“How…” Yoongi breathed. “How long have you been…”
Your eyes softened at the sight of Yoongi faltering. He didn’t want to say it. You reached beneath the table to hold that had that was on top of your knee. Instantly, you watched his shoulders relax.
“Um…” Seolhyun chewed on her bottom lip and picked at the skin around her nails. “Just-Just once..”
Bullshit.
“Don’t you think Yoongi deserves a lot more honesty that?” You boldly questioned. Talking was never part of your agenda, but it’s true, he deserved to know the truth after tearing himself apart from agonizing over his self-worth.
“Excuse me?” Seolhyun stared you down and you couldn’t back down no matter how much you wanted to.
“I–I don’t think you’re telling him the truth.” You tried to sound confident, but your stutter gave it away.
Seolhyun scoffed and crossed her arms. “Who do you think you—”
“She’s right. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth either.” Yoongi interjected. “For Seung Ho to talk to y/n about our situation kind of shows how close you two really are.”
“My thoughts exactly.” You said softly.
Seolhyun aggressively scratched the back of her head. “Ugh. Two months!” She blurted out. “Two-fucking-months! There’s the truth! Happy now?”
Your eyes widened then turned to Yoongi who was looking in Seolhyun’s direction with an empty expression. After remaining quiet for about a minute, a low chuckle pushed past his lips.
“Is that why we’ve been fighting so much lately?” There were hints of both sadness and anger in his tone. “This was why you’ve been so short with me? You would cut our dates short—it was because you would rendezvous with Seung Ho?”
“Y-Yoongi.” You whispered and gently rubbed the back of his hand, trying to calm him down.
“Do you know what the fuck I’ve been going through because of this?! I continuously questioned what I was doing wrong—was I not making you happy anymore? Did I do something to piss you off? Was I not buying you enough flowers on the weekends? Altering my class schedule to match yours wasn’t enough? Skipping class to spend time with you? I talked my friends’ ears off trying to figure out why I didn’t seem important in your eyes anymore…” Yoongi kept his head down and squeezed your hand to the point where his nails could draw blood from your skin. “Was I not enough for you…?”
Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.
“Yoongi, I’m so sorry.” She said sadly.
For the first time in a while, she sounded genuine.
“You were enough for me, but I—I guess… I guess I was being selfish and I wanted more.” Seolhyun lifted her eyes in search of Yoongi’s but he still kept his head down.
“You could’ve told me.” Yoongi choked out. “You could’ve talked to me about how you were feeling and maybe—maybe things could’ve worked out.”
It was your turn to lower your head. This was truly an issue between Yoongi and Seolhyun. There was no reason for you to inject yourself into the conversation anymore.
“Is there any way we could work past this?” Seolhyun asked.
Yoongi finally met her eyes. “No. No way in hell.”
He fumbled with your hand to let go and reached into his pocket to pull out his keyring and wallet. He detached Seolhyun’s dorm key and pulled out a polaroid photo of her from inside his wallet. “Here. I don’t need these anymore.”
Yoongi reached back underneath the table in search of your hand and you stealthy met him halfway.
“Please. Just go, Seolhyun. We’re done here.” Yoongi said firmly.
Seolhyun sat there for a couple seconds and then reached forward to retrieve her belongings. As she stood up from the table, she kept her eyes on Yoongi hoping he would say something else, but he remained silent. Shortly after, Seolhyun took her leave without Yoongi sparing her a single glance.
↠↞
Even with the hustle and bustle of students walking all over campus, the world had never been so quiet. Yoongi had his head down, face buried in the crook of his elbow while still holding onto your hand. You weren’t sure when was the best time to speak, so you kept quiet waiting for him to break the silence first.
It almost physically hurt staring at Yoongi. He had been bottling up so many painful emotions to the point where it almost consumed him. He didn’t deserve to go through this.
“Y/n?” Yoongi finally spoke, but the rest of his sentence was muffled behind his coat sleeve.
“I-I’m sorry, Yoongi. I can’t really hear you.”
“Thank you for coming with me.” He turned his head and made heavy eye contact with you. “Saying all those things… I don’t think I would've been able to do it on my own, but you being here gave me strength to do so.”
His words caused a noticeable blush to form on your cheeks. He chuckled and sat up straight to tuck a few of your hairs behind your ears.
“I think you have enough time left to get to your next class from here. I’ll walk you.” Yoongi lifted you up by your arm and you almost didn’t want to go to class. All you wanted was to sit around and hold his hand all day. The thought of that made you blush even more and this made Yoongi laugh a little harder. “What’s the matter with you? Come on.”
Unfortunately, Yoongi didn’t hold your hand when he walked you to class. This was probably because it felt too soon to do so in public. It’s not like he and Seolhyun were the campus couple, but people might get the wrong idea if they knew they were dating.
After the whole thing with Yoongi and Seolhyun, it made it even harder for you to concentrate. Now that they were broken up, who knows if Yoongi still had anymore underlying feelings for her. They were together for a year, so there had to be some leftover right? Plus, Yoongi made a comment the other night about how he thought about why you kissed him and that he “figured it out.” This meant a whole new conversation, a whole new reason to be nervous.
Fucking great.
This was a conversation you weren’t looking forward to. You needed to prepare yourself somehow, but it seemed like no matter how much you could mentally prepare yourself, you still wouldn’t be ready. After knowing Yoongi for roughly a little over two years and falling for him like an idiot, never in your life did you imagine him finding out about how you felt about him.
You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t even a little happy. You kissed Yoongi, held his hand, and even shared a bed with him with your feelings unknowingly exposed in the air. It made you giddy; butterflies roaming around in your stomach, fighting the urge to smile whenever you thought about him. If only the circumstances were different, life would’ve been near perfect for you.
Class dragged on, notes were written down, doodles were drawn, and next thing you knew, you were tying your work apron around your waist.
“Where’s Yoongi? He didn’t walk you here?” Seokjin asked.
“Nah. His energy gauge was pretty much empty by the time he was done talking with Seolhyun so he decided to just nap for a few hours.”
“Okay, so, what’s the tea?” Seokjin stood near you, eagerly waiting for you to tell him all the juicy details.
You playfully shoved him away and walked over to the espresso machine. “I’m not saying anything until Hani gets here.”
“Aw, come on, y/n. She won’t be here till like five or something!”
You chuckled to yourself and continued to ignore all of Seokjin’s pleads for information.
The moment Hani walked through the coffee shop doors, the first words she shouted was “okay bitch, bring forth the tea!”—this was said with a shop full of students. You were immediately put on the spot, but Hani’s intentions meant well.
You made sure to include all details of the confrontation when you told Seokjin and Hani about it. You also made sure to keep your voice low because you weren’t sure who knew Seolhyun, Yoongi, or even Seung Ho. This wasn’t your story to tell, but both Hani and Seokjin were there from the beginning so it seemed fitting for them to know it all too.
Evening came just as quickly as your shift started. Hani didn’t mean to stay so late, but she got pretty invested in the situation between Seolhyun and Yoongi. Both you and Seokjin did his best to keep all of Hani’s reactions at bay, but you had to admit, it was entertaining. At least she was nice enough to help the coffee shop employees close up.
“Wouldn’t your knight in shining armor show up by now?” Hani joked.
“You need to relax—oh, bye!” You chuckled and threatened her with a broomstick and waved two of your co-workers who were heading out.
“It’s true, y/n. He’s supposed to waltz in here and be like ‘my lady, I have arrived. Your chariot awaits.’” Seokjin pranced around the room and even bowed and took your hand in his.
“And by ‘chariot’, you mean his legs right? Because the dorms are within walking distance?” You laughed.
“Well, yes, b-but anyways let me finish,” Seokjin cleared his throat. “So your knight in shining armor swoops in—” he went from holding your hand to picking you up bridal style. “—picks you up and saves you from the dungeon aka the coffee shop! And then Yoongi says—”
“Seokjin, what in zakum’s name are you doing?”
At the mention of his name coming from behind him, Seokjin froze in his tracks and turned around to find Yoongi staring at him with a questionable look.
“I—uh—” Seokjin panicked, almost dropping you on the floor but he still managed to place you back on your feet. “Alrighty-roo, well, Hani—babe, shall we take our leave?”
All Hani could do was laugh until her stomach hurt and Seokjin dragged her out of the coffee shop by her hand; she laughed so much that she could barely properly say bye to you and Yoongi.
“Do I even want to know?” Yoongi asked hesitantly.
“No, you really don’t.”
Yoongi helped you flip up the chairs onto the table while you continued to sweep the floor. As you two cleaned up, you proceeded to tell him about your day and apologized for telling Seokjin and Hani what happened in the afternoon. He brushed it off because he also trusted them.
Unlike your busy day, Yoongi spent his entire day eating, sleeping, and watching netflix; he exaggerated that it was a packed schedule. He even mentioned that Seolhyun still tried to call and text him, but he ignored every single attempt.
“You know, I think she dressed up that way today to lure you back to her with her looks.” You confessed.
“Huh. You think so?” Yoongi walked behind the counter where you were wiping around the sink.
You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, I mean, it’s been pretty cold lately and she shows up in an outfit that could barely keep her warm. She curled her hair, put on makeup, like why is doing all of that necessary to meet up with you? It seems so—what?”
Yoongi was just staring at you with a smirk plastered on his face. “Were you worried that it was going to work?”
A blush bloomed on your cheeks. “N-No. I just think it was ridiculous, that’s all.”
He stepped closer and stood behind you, placing his hands on the metal countertop to cage you in between his arms.
“You know, you observe others pretty well but from my observations from knowing you, you kind of suck at lying.” Yoongi laughed and you forced a chuckle out. You weren’t going to even deny it.
From the counter, Yoongi lifted his hands to secure them around your waist, hugging you from behind. You made a few attempts to move around to clean the counter properly, but he remained.
“Yoongi, I have to clean.” You chuckled.
“Just—” He briefly let you go to spin you around so he could hug you from the front. “Five minutes. Let’s stay like this for five minutes, please.”
It was such a genuine request, how could you say no?
Yoongi was leaning into you with his face buried in the crook of your neck. You had your arms lazily slung around his shoulders and just listened to his faint breathing. The blonde tips of his hair tickled your nose a bit, so you gently slide your hand across his nape to brush down his hair. He hugged you tighter at your sudden action and sighed.
“You’re really going to touch me like that, y/n?” The teasing tone in his voice was enough to raise your temperature and cause a blush to appear on your cheeks.
“Y-Yoongi!” You tried to push him away, already feeling embarrassed, but he just continued to hold you.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Yoongi snickered. “It’s fine, keep touching my hair.”
You were still feeling embarrassed because that was the first time Yoongi used that tone of voice with you. Nonetheless, you listened and continued to stroke his hair. Thankfully he didn’t wear that awful beanie.
Yoongi didn’t say another word and every once in a while, he’d caress your back and readjust himself. Small sparks ignited at the simplest touch and for some reason you wanted to laugh. This was everything you wanted but it did confuse you as to how comfortable Yoongi was doing all of this to you. All you did was kiss him once and the next moment he’s acting as if you two were dating for years.
“Okay, I’m recharged. Continue your cleaning.” He emerged from your body and cupped your cheek. Even if you were the one embarrassed, Yoongi still had a hue of pink displayed at the tops of his cheeks.
For the next ten minutes, you swiftly cleaned up the stations and tossed out the garbage in the dumpster out back. Yoongi waited patiently and even gathered all of your things for you from the back room.
“So you’re opening tomorrow?” Yoongi asked whilst helping you adjust your hoodie.
“Sadly, yeah. So we can talk first then I’ll head straight to bed.”
“We can talk tomorrow, it’s fine. You need your rest.”
“B-But—”
Yoongi stole another kiss from you, probably to shut you up and it worked; it left you utterly speechless. You had to get used to this somehow.
“Tomorrow.” Yoongi whispered. “For now, let’s go home.”
Home?
There was no doubt that Yoongi was referring to your dorm as home since he stayed there the entire day. The idea of him considering your place as “home” gave you butterflies.
Home was a safe sanctuary. Home was a place where someone can easily unravel themselves to be at peace. Home was where the heart was and Yoongi was there with you.
“Yeah.” You blushed. “Let’s go home.”
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♡ rae jagi
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Southern Hospitality | Erik Killmonger X Black Reader | Chpt. 2
Summary: College AU where Erik seems to make the reader’s college transition a nightmare, while some how making it better as well
Chapter 3 | Chapter 1
Word count: 2.8k
A/N: So I’m in love with this series, but please don’t expect updates this frequent. lol I have to warn yall that due to my school schedule I can be wilding inconsistent. But please enjoy and tell me what you think
It had been 4 weeks since your incident on the side of the road, and despite numerous run ins with Erik, the two of you haven't spoken since that night. You attempted to speak, or even just offer up a kind smile when you saw him on campus but Erik acted as if you were completely invisible. And if he did acknowledge you, it was simply with a slight eyebrow raise as if to say "why are you speaking to me". This just confirmed that Erik was in fact the asshole you thought he was the day yall meet in the cafe.
But since that night you've had time to recuperate and refocus. 4.0 season was back in full effect, and you were ready to have a hot girl semester. Especially with midterms approaching, the social politics of your life couldn't be your main concern. The organic chemistry you had sprawled out on the living room coffee table, took top priority.
"Fuck this!" you mumbled shoving the large green useless organic chem textbook onto the floor. That boost of confidence you just had, quickly dissipated and left you sitting confused on the floor.
"Hey babe, whatchu in here groaning about?" Mackenzie, one of your three suitemates, asked chipperly walking to plop down on the couch.
You held up the pile of homework, groaning even louder. Kenzie ignored it, and grabbed the remote from the side of you and flipped the t.v on to her favorite show, The Hills. A reality t.v show following the most privileged and prestigious white people in L.A. You assumed Kenzie liked watching this crap so much because it reminded her of home. Los Angeles, where she was a trendsetter spending her time in exclusive clubs, and spending $20 on a salad. Although popular, at MIT Mackenzie was no more than a pretty face that everyone was sure only got in due to her parents very generous donations to the university. As was the case with your other suitemates as well.
"No kenz, I'm doing homework take this crap somewhere else."
"Forget your homework! You're literally weeks ahead... you've earned a break."
You rolled your eyes then began to gather your school work. Taking a break wasn't a privilege you had. Either you work your ass off, or you went back home to Ft. Worth no in between.
"oh my gosh y/n, you should come out with us! Please, you haven't been out once this semester, reward all your hard work!" She begged.
Your immediate reaction was to decline. You weren't much of a partier to begin with, and you were a little uneasy about going out with your suitemates. The same girls who couldn't even wait for you in the cafe. But you struggled to make friends while being down here, your suitemates were the only people on campus you knew... besides Erik. You thought this could be an opportunity to see them as more than those rich white girls from the west coast, so against your better judgment you accepted the invitation.
"YAY, Y/N IS COMING!" Kenzie yelled down the hall to the other suitemates, who let out small shrieks and squeals from the other side of their doors.
Hours passed and it was time for you to start getting ready. You wanted to feel excited about tonight, but all that lingered was an anxious feeling in your chest. You had spent the past hours thinking of excuses to get yourself out of going, but any you presented to kenzie were quickly shot down, followed by your other suites mates telling you, no matter what you were going.
"Y/N!!" Mason shouted from the kitchen.
"We're taking shots!" Brooklyn announced, putting the shot glass in your hand.
On three, the four of yall took the vodka shots back. Some followed them with a chaser, and scrunched faces. You followed yours with another shot, this time Malibu Rum, something sweet to get the taste out of your mouth.
"You better be getting ready!" Kenzie shouted as she handed you a strawberry margarita. You nodded, retreating back to your room to start your transformation.
You assumed if you were going to go out, the least you could do was be the baddest bitch out. You did a balck and grey smokey eye topped with the most extravagant lashes you could find. Then topped your lips with your fenty lip gloss. You wore a black strapless sequined dress with a pair of pumps. Even if the night didn't live up to you expectations, this outfit certainly would.
"UBER'S HERE! HURRY BITCHES, LET'S TAKE ONE MORE SHOT!"
After downing your margarita, you went into the kitchen to take another shot of vodka.
"Now, where ready!" Kenzie announced.
-
The club your suitemates decided to drag you to, had a special MIT college night. Which meant reduced admission, and free drinks for all MIT students. As expected, what seemed like the entire university was there tonight. Usually the large crowd would have you feeling very self conscious and anxious. But you were starting to feel those shots from earlier and couldn't think of anything but dancing... and getting another drink.
"Coke and Henny for you." Brooklyn shouted over the music, handing you the drink.
You swayed your hips to the Drake song the dj played, and observed the various white girls attempts at twerking. If you weren't drunk you'd probably be judging them right now, but the liquor made you much more forgiving. It also made you have to pee.
You attempted to inform your suitemates that you had to go to the bathroom, but they all seemed to be preoccupied with dancing with brad, Chad, and justin to pay attention to you. The last thing you were going to do was wait for them. You were a grown woman fully capable of going pee, alone. So you set out to find your way to the bathroom.
You stumbled through the crowd, the bright lights blurring your vision. It was as if your brain wasn't able to focus on one thing, but instead tried to focus on everything. But despite your clear impairment you made it to the bathroom.
"You are so pretty, oh my gosh I love your hair, It's like snakes!" This white girl slurred as she ran her fingers through your box braids. You snatched your hair out her hands.
"Let's not do that!"
You proceeded to pee, then started your journey back to find your friends. Incapable of walking in a straight line you frantically bump and tripped over everyone you encountered. You made sure to say sorry to each person before bumping into the next. You were seconds from falling straight on your ass when two hands reached out and grabbed your waist.
"Where the fuck are your friends?" He growled.
You looked up to see Erik pulling you up toward him. He had one arm around your waist, supporting all the weight you just pushed on him. For a brief moment a smile spread on your face, happy to see a familiar face then you quickly remembered the bullshit he had been pulling these last weeks.
"Y/n, Where are you friends?"
"Fuck you! Get off me! You can't speak to me one campus, but now you wanna be here, that's hoe shit!" You protested, shoving Erik to no result. He still held you tight, and unless he allowed it, you weren't going anywhere.
"Where. Are. Your. Friends?!" He shouted once more. Speaking slowly as if to give the words time to really sink into your thick skull.
You took a moment to look around. This had been where your suitemates were when you left to go to the bathroom, but suddenly they were nowhere to be found. You spotted one of the boys that they were dancing with before you left to bathroom, and flagged him down.
"Where are my roommates?"
"They left about 10 minutes ago, something about hitting a different club."
You turned back to Erik who was very clearly aggravated. Despite being drunk you were still able to notice the vein that slightly popped on his forehead from his jaws clenching. Your heart dropped, you should have known better than to put an ounce of trust into those hoes.
"Ion got friends, fuck them bitches! ... I'm going home."
You started your walk to the entrance, and after a couple steps tripped over your own feet and fell straight on your ass in front of the bar. Once again, Erik was there to pick you up off the floor.
"Get the fuck up! ... I'm taking you home."
"I don't need help!" You objected all while gripping Erik's hand as he guided you out the club. You stumbled some, begging Erik to slow down. He swore that he was walking as slow as he could, and that your 'drunk as was trippin'. But you swore it felt as if he was making you damn near sprint down this street.
"Stop! Stop! I- I just need a break." You begged.
You released his hand and plopped down on the curb. Erik let out a frustrated sigh. He had half a mind to leave your dumbass here, but what you said earlier about there not being a lot of black people on campus really resonated with him. He felt as if he had an obligation to watch out for you, especially knowing if he didn't none of these whites would.
"Y/n... Let's go." Erik implored.
But you paid it no mind. The same feeling you had when you'd come home from the swimming pool and laid in your bed, like you could still feel the water swaying your body, that was the exact feeling you had right now. When you closed your eyes, the world melted. The loud music from the club, the fact your so called friends left you, Erik's nagging. None of it mattered.
"You got a hot 10 seconds." Erik announced breaking your calm. You stuck out your bottom lip pouting some, all you wanted was to sit here on this curb. Why was that so absurd. You slowly stood up, your head spinning as you did. Erik let you grab his hand and lean against him while the two of you walked to his car.
"Your friends aren't gonna be mad you left to campus without them? I would be mad if my friends left to campus without me. Oh wait, they did."
Erik chuckled some. Although he knew your calm demeanor about the situation was a result of the alcohol, he still appreciated the way you were handling the situation.
"Nah them niggas be ight, they asses don't even go to MIT."
He had parked in the grass, in the overflow parking. With each step you took your heels sunk deeper and deeper into the grass, making it more difficult to walk. As if that was what you need, a harder time walking. At some point the grass turned into a rocky patch of gravel, and your heel landed on a rock causing your ankle to turn and twist and you almost dropped to the floor.
"Ight, I'm getting sick of this shit y/n." Erik warned.
"That wasn't me, the rock! The rock!"
Erik helped you into the car then jogged to get in the driver's seat. Once he asked where you stayed, and as hard as you thought your brain couldn't come up with an address, just a vague depiction of what you think your student housing building looked like.
"The blue building"
"Blue bui- do you know home many fucking blue building are on campus?!" He scolded.
Immediately tears swelled in you eyes. You couldn't remember where you stayed, your suitemates left you, and now Erik was yelling at you. This wasn't what your first semester was supposed to be like. This wasn't what you came all the way to Michigan for.
"My roommates left, and now you're mad at me. I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much, I- I just wanted a black friend cause all these white people be pissing me off ... I wanna go home. I wanna go back to Ft. Worth. I'm calling my mom to tell her I'm coming home." You sobbed.
You fumbled through your small black clutch for you phone, but due to the alcohol, and the tears everything meshed into one big blur.
"No, your not calling your mom and your not going back to Ft. Worth."
Erik took your whole purse and sat it on the floor, beside his feet. Tears still streamed your face, and you continued to rant on about how mad Erik was at you and how much he hated you.
"You won't even speak to me on campus!"
"I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you. Okay? I'm just trying to get you home safe. Okay. I- ... I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
The apology felt bitter coming off his tongue. If he thought you'd remember this conversation the slightest bit in the morning he wouldn't have said it. But at this point he just wanted you to stop fucking crying.
After asking a thousand questions to figure out exactly which blue building you stayed at, Erik was no closer to getting you home than before. His blood began to boil, the more frustrated he got, and he made an executive decision. If he couldn't take you back to your dorm, and he couldn't leave your ass on the side of the road, then he was just going to take you back to his apartment.
"Where are we going?!" You whined.
"My apartment, since you don't know where the fuck you live."
Erik pulled off, and started to drive. The two of you fell into silence, not like when yall first met at the cafe, this was mutual.. comfortable. Within a few minutes yall had arrived at an apartment complex that was walking distance from campus. Erik walked over to the passenger side and helped you out of the car. He held your hand as you wobbled to his apartment.
"Oh shit E, you didn't tell us you had company." One of his roommates teased as the two of you walked in the door.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" His other roommate jokes.
"Shut the fuck up, for real." Erik warned.
The two frat like white boys smiles quickly dropped, and they darted their eyes to the floor not even daring to look up at the two of you.
"C'mon." Erik mumbled guiding you to the back of the apartment, where his bedroom was.
He shuffled through his drawers, then pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He tossed them at you, basically smacking you in the face. He told you that you could change since you probably didn't wanna sleep in your dress. You agreed.
Usually you were too bashful to change around peope, let alone a nigga. But the term liquid courage, was an accurate one. You shed your dress right there on his bed and changed into his t-shirt. Erik watched, surprised you'd strip with him in the room, but he didn't say anything.
"Imma sleep on the couch." He announced, after changing into a pair of polo sleep pants and keeping on his solid black t shirt.
"Noo, stay with me... I don't wanna go to sleep yet. Please."
Erik sighed then reluctantly sat alongside you on the bed. Again, silence filled the space around you two.
"You really should take your ass to sleep!" Erik said finally breaking the silence.
You didn't say anything. For the first time since you'd seen Erik in the cafe, you really took him in. His big arms, his low husky voice, and the gold caps in his mouth made your knees weak. You spent so much time focused on how big of an asshole this man was, you didn't realize how absolutely jaw dropping he really is.
Without much of a thought you crashed your lips into his, and to your surprise he kissed you back. Erik's hand traveled up your body until it landed at the nape of your neck. He drew you in close to him as he intensified the kiss slipping his tongue into your mouth.
Your body felt hot all over. You couldn't deny how bad you wanted him, and you wanted him now. While he kissed you, you tugged at the hem of his polo sleep pants, and at this point Erik broke away from you. He wiped the edge of his mouth averting his eyes from your gaze, then standing up.
"Go to sleep." He mumbled before flipping off the light and walking out.
Taglist: @chaneajoyyy @missshae @thehomierobbstark @killmongersbaby @elaindeereads @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @tip222u @irisindigonightmare
#Erik Killmonger#erik × reader#erik stevens#black panther#fanfic#michael b jordan#black reader#southern hospitality
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Where do you even start a journey like this one? I’m a big fan of reflecting, often remembering chapters in my life and how they connect to who I am now. One memory that finds itself playing on a reel in my mind was of one of the houses that we lived in growing up. It was on the corner of a busy intersection directly behind a McDonalds. My sister and I used to rummage around the house looking for quarters and dimes to fill our little pockets with. We’d walk over to the McDonalds to get as many McChickens as our sweaty little fist fulls of coins would allow, and we eat them all before our mother got home with dinner. Most likely a pizza or Hamburger Helper.
Food was always such a comfort for me. it still is. There is a euphoria with food that noting else can touch. and it’s legal. you can get it from the comfort of your car window. you can have it delivered to your house. you can eat in your car while on the way to dinner and none of your friends know that you’ve already had nearly 2000 calories, and yes you are absolutely going to order dessert.
After food, I discovered alcohol. what a treat. The best treat about alcohol is how much better it made food taste. So I’d get my free beer after work. pay for a second. and go home to enjoy another in bed. Before likely getting up and making whatever snack i could conjur up with the ingredients in my kitchen.
The day after Thanksgiving I woke up differently. The woman who I’d been seeing off and on, had tied up our four year relationship with meeting someone new on tinder. After months and months of begging me to trust her and let her in and allow her the space to prove to me that we should be together. After four years of cheating, manipulating, lying. I was in a place where looking at her disgusted me, hearing from her annoyed me, touching her was no longer something that i looked foward to. and yet. i couldn’t let her go. And I would date other people and I would keep her there on the back burner. Knowing full well that we didn’t want the same things, and not only that, she wasn’t even good to me. she wasn’t nice or honest. she didn’t have any ambitions. she had this way of going from one extreme to the other within minutes and not having any explanation or care of how that affected me. Like literally kissing me and grabbing my face and telling me she was going to marry me and an hour later telling me that we were just best friends. it was terrible. it was truly the worst feeling. And what became worse, was how every single person in my life would beg me to walk away from her. They’d plead and plead with me to stop letting someone as abusive and manipulative crawl into my beautiful supreme space. casting shadows on my divine light.
What was more strange than that, was the actual logic that this wasn’t something that i wanted. i kept telling myself how obvious it was that this was a good thing. good. move on! you’ve been manipulating me and lying to me for literally four years. but all the logic in the world couldn’t surpass the things my body was feeling because of this. it felt like bricks stacked on my chest. i couldn’t breathe. i couldn’t focus. it was so hard to go to work and be good at my job. to show up in my current relationship that was deserving of that space and time that i was giving a toxic ex lover. i couldn’t sleep at night. i’d lay there wondering how in four years i didn’t deserve the respect that was being shown to this person she met two. fucking. weeks ago.
And that’s when I found it. My power.
I got a gym membership the day after Thanksgiving. Rather than having a drink at work, I’d bring my gym bag with me in the morning, and go after I had clocked off. No questions. My first night back, I found this quiet dark room that they obviously had cycling classes in. It was lined with mirrors, and had about 30 bikes in it. I got on a bike, with the lights off, in a quiet room and after about four minutes decided that was enough. I was pretty embarrassed but felt like I was proud for showing up. I went the next night, and the night after that. I’d wake up with excitement to get my gym bag together for after work. I got a great set of Nikes that made me feel confident in the gym. I went every night that I worked. on my days off, I rest or go on hikes with my girlfriend. She is a pretty experienced hiker and I get tired very quickly. but I haven’t quit. I keep pushing even if it’s really far behind her.
I’ll tell you something wild. I’ve always had partners in the past who felt jealous when I’d get into working out. They’d make me feel bad for getting up and leaving them. coax me to stay in the house and order a pizza. “come on, babe! don’t leave.” “salad again? let’s get burgers. i’ll pay.”
Suddenly I was dating this woman who would tell me how beautiful I was. She’d tell me how she wouldn’t change a thing about me. That every curve on my body was something that turned her on. BUT. If going to the gym made ME FEEL beautiful, she would always encourage me to go. She doesn’t try seeing me on gym nights. she doesn’t feel neglected when I say I can’t meet up after work because I want to go to the gym. She knows that this is important to my. self. worth. and she supports me.
yall. get someone who supports you.
fuck everything else.
I digress. The day after our big hikes, back to work, back to the gym. With the exception of Saturday. Giving me three days off and four days on. So on my 4th night, I’m in the cycling room that originally caught my eye. I had been riding for a little under twenty minutes. I reached 3.8 miles, and abruptly yelled out loud “You’ve got 4 miles in you. I know that you do!” and I got to 4.
The next night I got to 5.
The next night, at 5.5 i felt accomplished enough, but i wanted 6. So I got 6.
My chest throughout the last couple of days has been in genuine pain. I feel so exhausted and restless. I feel so upset with myself for allowing this, I feel so frustrated that I have a beautifully kind person in my life who is deserving, and I was letting someone who had spent 4 years taking advantage of me and using me, affect my mental and physical health. I was upset that no amount of reason or logic could help this.
So, tonight.
I get to the gym. and I’m listening to music. and I’m dancing every time that I get tired or want to give up. I’m cheering myself on and yelling along to Lizzo.
I hit seven. while only adding 3 minutes to my previous time.
and I. just. start sobbing.
I cried so hard that it scared me.
I cried and said out loud “Amber you can do anything that you want. Literally fucking anything.”
I sat on the floor of the cycle room for a few minutes just crying and letting myself finally feel everything that had been storing itself inside my ribcage.
And now laying here in bed afterward. I just know that this is the beginning to something really big. I know that I’m going to be cycling for a long time. I feel like I’m going to be teaching a cycling class in the next year. I feel like my story will empower. I feel like something really bright is on the horizon. And I really wanted to share that with you all from day 1. Keeping it to myself until I’m ready to share my journey.
Here we go, yall.
I’m Amber. And this is a story about how getting to the 7th mile allowed me to fully inhale for the first time in a long time. And what I did about it.
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Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 13
part thriteeeen bitches! i have one more chapter more or less written (still working on) but then yall really will have to wait until i catch up with myself, just saying!
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12
Silence becomes the third person in the car. We get some burgers and fries on our way back to Shawn’s place and with each passing moment I start feeling like I’m more lost than ever. I sit there with a bag of food on my lap, Shawn Mendes on my left and a baby in my belly. I contemplate on how my life turned into this surreal mess.
Walking into Shawn’s place now feels like going home. I collapse on the couch fully exhausted from everything that has happened today. I close my eyes, but I can hear Shawn moving around in the kitchen, plates are clicking and soon all the sounds get closer. I feel a large, warm hand on my arm and opening my eyes I see his angelic face.
“Do you want to have a bath?”
I shake my head no. I see the food waiting for us on the coffee table and suddenly I’m very hungry. I push myself up, Shawn sits next to me and hands me my burger on a plate.
“This is so good,” I moan with my mouth full as we eat. Shawn chuckles next to me eating his own burger.
“I-I thought you could stay here for the night,” he speaks up when I’m done eating and made myself comfortable on the couch leaning back.
“Shawn, I don’t know…” I sigh.
“Please. I wouldn’t sleep well without you here. So much happened today, I want to make sure you are okay.”
“I am okay and I’ll see you tomorrow, remember?”
He puts his empty plate to the table before scooting closer and turning to me. I can’t stop looking at that one lock of hair on his forehead that’s the shape of an S. My fingers are itching to play with it.
“Yeah, but… what if you get nauseous in the morning? I want to help you, I want to hold your hair if you throw up, I want to bring you water, I want to be there for you.”
I can��t help but smile.
“This is the first time in my life someone is begging to stay knowing I will be throwing up,” I chuckle making him smile as well.
“See? It’s an offer you can’t just turn down. Please, stay.”
He leans closer and now both our faces are laying on the back of the couch, only inches away. I finally give in to the urge and reaching up I curl that one lock on my finger only to release it a moment later. I brush it back and let my hand fall back to my lap.
“Why are you so keen on keeping me in your life?” I suddenly ask without even thinking through the words slipping my mouth, but he doesn’t seem to be surprised by the question, or intimidated even. He just cracks a small smile placing one of his hands on my thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“One, because you are pregnant with my first child, but I think this is obvious,” he states and it makes both of us laugh for some reason. “And two…”
He scoots closer, so close out noses almost touch. He remains silent for so long I think he forgot that he started adding a second reason, but then he finally speaks up again.
“I love you. You are my home far from home and the more you’re trying to push me away the more I’m sure I want to be with you, because there is this tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me not to let you go no matter what. And I believe that voice.”
He is making it very hard to keep my distance from him and think about everything, to be exact, I fully gave it up right in this moment.
Closing the space between us I press my lips to his and capture them in a sweet kiss. It’s not long and definitely not passionate but it’s full of emotions and I’m just hoping Shawn can understand what I intended to tell him with the kiss.
“I think I’m staying for the night,” I whisper with my eyes closed.
My cravings are the worst. So far I’ve eaten pickles with jam, apples with mustard and mini sausages with marshmallows. Even thinking about these can make me vomit now, but right then, they all tasted like heaven. But grocery shopping is a pain in the ass, because I crave one thing in the supermarket and then want to throw away when I get back home.
“Do I need mango flavored chocolate?” I mumble to myself standing at the sweets department. “What do you think, Bean?”
Talking to the baby has become a habit of mine pretty quick. Though I’m careful and only do it when I’m alone, since no one knows it yet other than Shawn, Justin and Andrew. My guilt is killing me every time I talk to Elisa, I just want to spit it out, but then I stop myself. It’s horrible.
I put the chocolate into the cart and head to the dairies when my phone rings.
“Hello, Shawn,” I sigh answering the phone. He flew to Los Angeles two days ago and has been checking in on me almost every hour.
“Hi, how are you?” I hear his voice and I think he is in the car, I hear honking in the distance.
“Nothing has changed in the past…” I check the time quickly, “forty minutes.”
“Are you making fun of me for being caring and checking in on you?” he asks trying to pretend to be hurt, but I can almost see his smile.
“Never.”
“Alright. What are you doing?”
“Groceries. I’m eating non-stop, I should probably stop it, but I just can’t.”
“Eat whatever you want, Naya. Don’t deny it from yourself.”
“Yeah, and end up looking like I’m having triplets? No thank you.” I chuckle as I stop the cart and start scamming through the bottled milks.
“Jesus, why do you even care about it? You are pregnant, this is the time when you can do whatever you want! You can worry about your waist later.”
“Cute, but I think I know what my body needs.” I hear him growl, but he doesn’t retort to me. Another thing that has become usual. Shawn is trying to avoid getting into an argument, he is very cautious about my mental state and it’s more important for him to leave it to me and keep me calm than to validate his truth. I’m kinda enjoying it, winning every little argument is one of my favorite things.
“Okay. I’m going back to New York tomorrow, have you thought about what we talked about?”
I sigh and put a carton of milk into the cart, but I don’t move. Biting into my bottom lip I’m debating what I should answer, but I have no idea. I promised him I would consider his offer while he is away but I procrastinating as much as possible.
“Um, I need more time…” I mumble tugging my hair behind my ears.
“You know this is the best option. You are refusing to tell Elisa, so you have to hide it at home, but if you would move in with me you wouldn’t have to worry about throwing up in the morning and being questioned for it.”
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to tell Elisa, why am I moving out?”
This is a valid question, I’ve been thinking about it, but nothing came to my mind. If I move out without giving her a reason it would be more than suspicious.
He sighs on the other end of the call. “Why don’t you just tell her and then move in with me?”
“Why are you so keen on making me move in with you?” I ask rolling my eyes.
“Aren’t you tired of asking why I’m attached to you? I already told you, Naya. But you just keep running away from me and the situation. I’m just trying to adjust, make it feel as normal as possible in our case, but you are making it hard.”
“It’s not my intention, I’m just… It’s a lot, okay? I still have no idea what to do with my job and I’ll be getting clients again the next week after the assembly.”
“Wait, you want to go back to work?”
“Of course. I told you, I need the money.”
“And I told you that I can give you money.” I can feel him getting tensed and something is telling me he won’t let this one slip.
“Shawn, you’re not my sugar daddy or something. This is my problem, I should be the one solving it.”
“But we are having a baby together so your problems are mine as well.”
“This is what you think. But we are still not a couple.”
He hisses and I almost regret saying that. I’ve been very indecisive lately, telling him no but acting like the opposite. It’s been tearing me apart, my heart is aching for him, but my mind is telling me no. It must be confusing to him, but I’m just as confused as he is.
“Okay. But please give it another thought. You know you can’t do this on your own and it would be safer if I could be with you most of the time.”
“I’ll… think about it.”
“I gotta go now, I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” I mumble under my breath.
“Take care.”
Elisa gets home around seven and after a long time we finally have dinner together. Our schedules somehow always made us avoid each other and sometimes it felt like I was living alone. I just saw her dirty dishes in the sink appear and disappear mostly.
She is gushing about a guy he met in school and I’m so excited to hear her talk about a guy finally. She has always been very distant towards possible partners, She always told me how it is impossible to find someone who would be okay with our job and honestly, she is totally right.
“He asked for my notes for psychology and then we had coffee together yesterday,” she sighs with a silly smile on her lips as she puts the salad to the table and I bring the fried chicken.
“And do you think it can turn into something… more?” I ask very cautious of her insecurities about dating. I’m happy that she met a guy, but I want to make sure she is comfortable.
“Well…” She gives me a knowing look. “Rumor has it that he has an… interesting past.”
“What, is he a prostitute?” I ask with wide eyes, but Elisa starts laughing as she shakes her head no.
“No! Or I don’t think so. But a girl told me that he used to be a stripper, or still is, I don’t know.”
“Haven’t you asked him?”
“It’s not quite the thing you ask on your first date, Naya,” she points out and she is right. Would be awkward to ask about his stripper past over their first coffee together.
“Okay, okay. But this is good, right? He must be very open-minded about this… business.” In only our absurd life it is a positive thing when someone is a stripper, so messed up...
She nods. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, so… fingers crossed.” We both start eating in silence, but then she breaks it with a question I wasn’t expecting. “And how are things with Shawn?”
I almost choke on the damn salad. I cough like crazy and need some water to make it stop.
“I didn’t mean to kill you, Naya,” she laughs patting my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “Um, I wasn’t expecting you to bring him up.”
“Well, it seemed like you were having a hard time getting over him, but you seem… better now.”
Maybe because I’ve been meeting him almost every day and oh, I’m also pregnant with his baby and I feel like I’m falling in love with him more than ever. No biggie.
“I just… I guess I’m over it, yeah.”
My skin is burning and I think my ears are turning red as the lie is slowly wrapping around my throat. I hate to lie to her, she is one of the very few people that has been nothing but good to me, helping me out whenever I needed a hand in life, and now I’m keeping such a huge secret from her, but for what? I know what for.
I know she would be disappointed in me if she found out I’m pregnant and I would hate to see it in her eyes.
“Great,” she smiles at me kindly that is making my throat close as I force a smile on me as well.
I text Shawn before going to sleep, I expect him to immediately reply, but my message ends up to be only sent, not delivered. I shrug it off, put my phone to the nightstand and just go to sleep.
A sharp pain in my lower half shakes me out of my dream. My body immediately curls up, I hug my torso with my arms as I’m waiting for the pain to go away. It’s like cramping, but more intense. It takes some long moments till I’m able to breathe normally again. Kicking the blanket off of myself I switch my night lamp on, because I feel wetness between my legs. When I look down I see a small bloody stain on my pants and I think I forget to breathe for a moment. I’m so shocked, I stay frozen right until another wave of pain is hitting my uterus and I almost squeak, but I bite my lip to keep the noises in.
“Oh shit,” I mumble to myself as I manage to stand up, but I barely reach the door when the pain is hitting again and again.
I let an agonizing moan out when I reach the coach. I’m trying to get to the bathroom to clean myself up, but I know I have to go to the hospital. When the pain hits again I almost fall to the ground. To keep myself supported I grab on the edge of the dinner table, but unfortunately, I brush something off of it. It’s a plate we left there after dinner and it immediately breaks hitting the floor.
Not too surprisingly Elisa appears in her door a few moments later with a dictionary in her hands, ready to defend herself, but seeing me hunched, with a painful grimace on my face she immediately drops the book and rushes over to me.
“Naya, what’s the problem?” She tries to get me straight up, which works for a few moments, but then another wave is coming and I’m back to my curled position. “Naya, say something!”
“I need to get to the… hospital…. Call a… cab!” I choke out.
The next few minutes feel worse than anything ever. Elisa calls a car and helps me change into some clean clothes. She helps me down and we get into the car that darts out immediately, speeding down the almost empty streets.
I take my phone out with the intention of calling Shawn, but I can’t even talk comprehensively, so Elisa grabs it from me.
“Who do you want to call?”
I hold my breath as I’m debating whether I should tell her or not. This is really the last straw, I need to tell her the truth.
“Elisa,” I pant between two pain waves. “Text Shawn, please. Tell him that we are going to the hospital.”
“Why should he know about this?” she asks confused, but she starts writing the text anyway.
“Because…” I gulp hard before saying it. “Because I’m pregnant, and h-he is the dad. And I might be losing the baby right now.”
taglist: @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name@hollandechart
#shawn#mendes#shawn mendes#shawn mendes imagines#Shawn Mendes Imagine#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes x reader#boundaries#boundaries series
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I was tagged by my babe, Kazu so uhhh
1. what extracurriculars were/are you in when you were in school? what was your favourite?
I legit was only in gardening club and we were going to make a salad last day of the club with everything we grew BUT I MISSED THAT DAY SO uhh that was my fav
2. what colour do you associate yourself with?
dark blues
3. You run into Andrew Rannells on the street. What’s the first thing you say to him?
Can you sing a song from Pokemon Live?
4. signature dance move?
I uhh can’t dance I only whip and dab
5. do you like someone? if so, describe what they’re like
OH MY G O D kazu is literally my WIFE. I love my gf so much. I wanna hold her in my arms and smooch her. bls let us live closer to each other lord, I'm begging here.
6. if you could be an expert on one topic, what would it be?
everything???
7. current favourite song? (broadway or not!!)
La Vie En Rose (gets me EMOtional about kazu)
8. a quote that’s had an impact on your life?
uhhh literally anything that a gay icon has said
9. inspirational tumblr creator(s)?
oh boy uhhh all my mutuals (half of u don't even realize we mutuals but we are)
10. I KNOW YALL ARE FALSETTOS TRASH HALF THE PEOPLE I TAGGED HAVE FALSETTO URLS SO FAVOURITE FALSETTOS SCENE?
WOW okay uhhh the entirety of unlikely lovers and what more can I say
I tag literally everyone to do this bc I'm unoriginal lmao
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“I️ remember pretending to be vegan cause that’s all I️ could afford lol (chips avocado n salad mix ) I️ remember sleeping on everyone’s couch cause I missed the train AGAIN (thank yall for having me lol ) . Sold my beloved 500$ grillz for 50 bucks at the gold shop for train fair( I️ was SICK 😩 lol ). I️ BEGGED Punch for writers on this project cus I️ thought no one would ever like me the way I️ was . He said “U don’t need em”. I️ remember crying cus I️ didn’t have any hits or a quantifiable “sound”.. I️ remember feeling like damn maybe I suck . maybe I️ should try something else ? Maybe I’m jus wasting space ..Life’s weird . I️ Didn’t have any friends growing up. never gave my parents an opportunity to say “wow my kids killing it” didn’t graduate or do any fly shit before my nana died . been fired from every job I️ ever had ..I remember sobbing on the phone w punch pleading for the album not to come out cause I️ couldn’t take the embarrassment . Just wanted another week . Another day ?..he ignored me n said I’d be fine...This entire thing puts my wildest dreams to shame. I️ dunno what to say cause I️ dunno how to accept its even happening to me lol ? I’ve never won anything in my life even until this week (THANK YOU SOULTRAIN AWARDS!!) it all just feels strange somehow BUT IM SO OVERWHELMINGLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS STRANGENESS!! . I’m so in awe of Gods plan.. I just wanna live up to it. Thank you for listening to me.. thank you for understanding me.. thank u for bonding w my thoughts just the way they were. INFINITE GRATITUDE to the Recording Academy for this INCREDIBLE honor. I️ can’t even believe I’ve been considered. God bless every person who worked on this album or gave it an ear (specially the producers of the century @somethingnebula@iam_c_lang @thankgod4cody 💜) . Thank you Top and Punch for believing in me no matter what (even when I’m on your LAST nerves😊) . Thank u RCA for giving me new wings🙏🏾 THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS LIFE I️ DONT UNDERSTAND . #Ctrl.. a concept . #mygrannynominatedfor5grammys #TDE “ - SZA
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Grammy Nominations Announced
The Grammy Award nominations were announced on Tuesday and there were a lot of surprises this year. There was a lot of diversity in the nominees, which was great to see. However, considering this year was filled with a lot of great releases by female artists, it was surprising that there weren't many female nominees.
Also, another big surprise was that Ed Sheeran only received two nominations and he did not receive a nomination in the Big Categories, which are comprised of Record of the Year, Song of the Year and Album of the Year. Many believed that Ed was an easy choice for his album “Perfect” and that he would be one of the leaders in nominations this year.
The artist with the most nominations this year? JAY-Z leads with eight, including nominations in the Big Categories mentioned above. Kendrick Lamar received seven nominations, and Bruno Mars got six. Best New Artist nominee, Khalid received five nominations along with Childish Gambino and SZA. Best New Artist nominee, SZA is the most nominated female this year, and she posted a really heart warming message on Instagram about her nominations, which you can read below.
I️ remember pretending to be vegan cause that’s all I️ could afford lol (chips avocado n salad mix ) I️ remember sleeping on everyone’s couch cause I missed the train AGAIN (thank yall for having me lol ) . Sold my beloved 500$ grillz for 50 bucks at the gold shop for train fair( I️ was SICK 😩 lol ). I️ BEGGED Punch for writers on this project cus I️ thought no one would ever like me the way I️ was . He said “U don’t need em”. I️ remember crying cus I️ didn’t have any hits or a quantifiable “sound”.. I️ remember feeling like damn maybe I suck . maybe I️ should try something else ? Maybe I’m jus wasting space ..Life’s weird . I️ Didn’t have any friends growing up. never gave my parents an opportunity to say “wow my kids killing it” didn’t graduate or do any fly shit before my nana died . been fired from every job I️ ever had ..I remember sobbing on the phone w punch pleading for the album not to come out cause I️ couldn’t take the embarrassment . Just wanted another week . Another day ?..he ignored me n said I’d be fine...This entire thing puts my wildest dreams to shame. I️ dunno what to say cause I️ dunno how to accept its even happening to me lol ? I’ve never won anything in my life even until this week (THANK YOU SOULTRAIN AWARDS!!) it all just feels strange somehow BUT IM SO OVERWHELMINGLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS STRANGENESS!! . I’m so in awe of Gods plan.. I just wanna live up to it. Thank you for listening to me.. thank you for understanding me.. thank u for bonding w my thoughts just the way they were. INFINITE GRATITUDE to the Recording Academy for this INCREDIBLE honor. I️ can’t even believe I’ve been considered. God bless every person who worked on this album or gave it an ear (specially the producers of the century @somethingnebula @iam_c_lang @thankgod4cody 💜) . Thank you Top and Punch for believing in me no matter what (even when I’m on your LAST nerves😊) . Thank u RCA for giving me new wings🙏🏾 THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS LIFE I️ DONT UNDERSTAND . #Ctrl.. a concept . #mygrannynominatedfor5grammys #TDE
A post shared by SZA (@sza) on Nov 29, 2017 at 8:57am PST
You can check out the full list of nominees by clicking here. The show will air on CBS on Sunday January 28th and this year it will be held at Madison Square Garden in New York City.
#grammy#nominations#grammy nominations#grammy nominees#grammys#ed sheeran#jayz#kendrick lamar#khalid#childish gambino#sza#instagram#music#msg#nyc#new york city#madison square garden#cbs
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