#I’m bad at writing anything that goes beyond hand holdings

[meowsuguru]

toji fushiguro x reader - mechanic au

toji fushiguro x fem reader // mechanic!toji // nsfw

a/n: first fic!! pls enjoy!! any requests my inbox is open :) i need to write more…

——————————————————————————

“what is this, a ‘64?” toji whistles as you nod and hold out your keys to him, your red chevy impala barely having made it to the auto shop. he wipes his hands clean with a rag, and grabs your keys.

“let’s see what’s up with this beaut.”

he turns the ignition and lets it sing, and it runs smoothly for a minute. until it goes dead. no lights, no engine, nothing.

“this has been happening about every two miles or so,” you groan, putting your head in your hands. you were hopeless. given this beautiful car by your father, and you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

“ah, could be the firewall connectors. easy fix, i’ll just have to order the wires. we don’t have that kinda stuff for your beauty in here.” toji relays, lazily leaning up against the side of your car and tossing the keys back to you.

you fumble when you catch them, frowning.

“how long will it take? i don’t exactly have another car i can drive.”

“easy, doll. i can get them by tomorrow. you’ll just have to leave your baby here overnight and i’ll get done first thing tomorrow,” toji says.

“alright, well, how am i supposed to get home?” you say, annoyed.

“i don’t know, doll. call an uber? taxi? you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.” he gives you a crooked smile, pushing off your car and walking toward you.

an uber. duh. you kick yourself, making this man’s day more difficult just because you’re stressed about your car. you look up at him as he approaches, suddenly noticing the difference in your statures. he looks you up and down, assessing you, and you feel scrutinized under his gaze. you choose to ignore the feeling in your gut as he looks at you, his scarred mouth pulled taught.

“say, doll face.” toji remarks, putting his chin in his hand, and you flush, beyond your comprehension, at the nickname. “i could always give you a ride back to wherever after. wouldn’t be a problem for a pretty girl like yourself.” he says casually, but a hint of a smirk plays on his lips.

you fight the feeling that comes with him calling you a pretty girl and consider him for a moment, knowing this will probably be a bad idea. you sigh, looking up at him.

“why the hell not. but i know where you work if you try anything, mister.” you point at him, expression serious.

toji puts his hands up, backing up slightly as he chuckles. he moves past you, walking back toward the shop.

“hang out in the shop with me. you want a beer?” he asks, turning his head over his shoulder.

you give this a second of consideration before giving in, nodding. he leads you back to the shop, opening a mini fridge full of beer.

“weird shop you’re running.” you say, choosing the one you want.

toji takes it from you with a shrug, popping the cap off with the bottle opener he keeps on a carabiner on his belt loop. of course.

you eye him as he moves throughout the shop, telling you to make yourself comfortable as you sip on your beer and watch him work. your eyes are drawn to his biceps, which are unreal you might add, as he stands below a car on the auto lift and works on something. you watch, mesmerized for a moment, and he looks over, tilting his head over his shoulder, and catches your eye.

and you would be an idiot to ignore the fluttering in your stomach this time. you put the bottle to your lips and chug, ripping your eyes away. you don’t drink much, so you’re a feeling a little hazy from drinking your beer so fast and you start to feel the buzz in your cheeks.

“you good, doll face?” he asks, arms raised as he pauses his work to catch your attention. your eyes rake over his form, thick neck, nice traps, working shirt with an embroidered name tag unbuttoned, with a grease-stained wife beater underneath.

“yeah.” you say after you realize you’ve been staring. “i’m good.”

he looks at you with an unreadable expression and goes back to his work.

-

after a few hours, you find yourself making decent conversation with toji. your banter is present, entertaining you as you watch him work and offer him useless suggestions here and there. he always laughs, the sound filling the shop.

it’s 5 o’clock now and he’s closing up, and you’re waiting in the office. you sit down, fiddling with your hands, and eventually he comes back in.

“ready, doll face?” toji asks, twirling his keys around his finger, his jacket draped over his shoulder.

you nod, standing up and smoothing your skirt.

he eyes you, but turns away to bring you out back to where he’s parked.

“i hope you don’t mind, doll face. i brought my bike today.”

your mouth falls open, looking at the beautiful bike before you. sleek, black and silver, classic and loud as all hell when he cranks it, patting the seat behind him.

“you can wear my helmet. gotta keep that pretty head safe,” he teases, ruffling your hair. you take the helmet, clipping it in place and swing your leg over the seat, hesitantly wrapping your arms around toji’s firm middle.

“you wanna go home? or you wanna go out?” toji asks casually, voice clear and deep over the sound of his bike.

you look up at him and he turns his head back over his shoulder, scarred lip quirking up.

something in you needs to be spontaneous, so you agree.

“let’s go out.”

-

you end up at a little dive bar: pool, booze, bar fights, the works. you walk in with toji in front of you, not offering to hold the door open, rude, you think. you follow him in and he sits down at the bar, making some conversation with the bartender. he orders a drink and looks at you, and you order yourself your drink as well.

“i’m a feminist, doll face. we’re goin’ dutch tonight.” he laughs, throwing some cash down on the bar.

you frown, opening your mouth to retort, but he stops you.

“just messin’ with you, princess.” his lips quirk up, taking a sip of his beer.

the two of you spend the evening drinking and arguing over various things, from your car to your lack of sports knowledge to gambling.

“gambling is a stupid addiction,” you slur, a blush on your cheeks.

“it’s not stupid.”

the two of you stare at each other for a moment in silence. you both laugh, and you find his gaze after a moment, the sounds of the busy dive bar fading into the back of your mind. he smirks, reaching up to cup your chin with his hand. he tilts your head side to side, like he’s examining you.

“say, doll face. wanna get out of here?” toji asks, studying your face with his piercing gaze.

“yeah,” you exhale, and you both stand up. he grabs his jacket, and ushers you out of the bar with his hand on the small of your back.

-

the walk to toji’s apartment is short and quiet, and by the time you get in there he’s got you pinned against the door, kissing down your neck. you thread your fingers into his hair, gasping as he bares his teeth and bites down at the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“been wanting to do this all day, doll.” he says, moving his lips back up toward your ear.

“you’ve been driving me crazy, sitting in my shop in that little skirt. i should’ve given in hours ago,” he groans, clutching at your hips.

you whine, bringing his mouth up to meet yours in a bruising kiss, your mouth opening to his tongue immediately. he wastes no time, pushing his tongue into your mouth with fervor, swallowing your gasps.

you clutch at his hair, pushing against him, attempting to back yourself up off the door. the heat pooling in between your legs wants more and you’re not going to settle for kissing.

“impatient, are we?” he says with a lazy grin, lifting you up easily and bringing you to his room.

you land back on the bed with a soft thud, your hair fanning out around you as toji hovers over you.

“such a pretty girl,” he says, voice dipping low.

he runs his hand up your thigh, slipping under your skirt and playing with the hem of your underwear. he teases, pulling it down slowly, as his eyes trail down your body, drinking you in.

“stop being a tease.” you say, reaching for his wrist.

“ah, but where’s the fun in that? it’s fun to get you all riled up.”

you furrow your brow, trying to wriggle out of your underwear but he stops you, dipping his head between your thighs.

“so feisty.” he says as he mouths over your clothed heat.

“if you’re gonna… do that don’t make me wait.” you say, gasping as his tongue traces circles over your underwear.

“fine, fine. i’ll indulge you, doll face.”

he slips your panties to the side and licks a strip up your folds, making you clutch at his hair instantly. you wrap your legs around his head, and he pries them apart, barring over your waist with his forearm. your cunt is dripping now, with his tongue making circular motions over your clit, steadily, and he’s drinking you up like a man athirst.

you fight against his barring arm and buck your hips to meet his tongue, riding it as you feel yourself growing nearer to your climax, and you bite your lip.

ever perceptive, toji speaks: “let me hear those pretty sounds, doll”, as he comes up for air. diving back in, you give into him, letting go of your abused bottom lip and cursing god, letting toji’s name leave your lips. he smirks, his face shining with your slick, and you moan outright at the sight.

“so good with that mouth, toji,” you say, panting as you ride his face. he removes his arm from your middle and feels his own arousal stirring as you use his tongue, groaning.

your orgasm surprises you, ripping through you as you clutch at toji’s hair, stuttering your hips on his tongue as you ride out your high.

“fuck toji,” you curse, “keep going.”

he obliges, slipping a thick finger into your dripping cunt as he keeps his mouth on you, your head spinning with overstimulation at the sensation. he works you quickly toward your second orgasm, licking and sucking at your swollen clit hungrily. he slips a second finger in, pumping into you steadily.

“gotta get you ready, doll.”

his words light a fire in you and you’re coming, again, more intense than the first as you clench around his fingers. he pulls them out of you, and reaches up, prodding his fingers at your lips. you open your mouth, sucking them clean and tasting yourself as he covers his mouth with his hand, eyes darkening as he watches you.

“fuck, pretty girl. you’re a sexy little thing.”

you moan softly around his fingers, and he sits you up, pulling your shirt over your head and finally, finally pulling off your underwear. he pointedly leaves the skirt in place, pushing it up to expose your dripping cunt.

“think you can take me?” he teases, freeing his cock from his pants and shedding his shirt, leaving him half naked and settled between your legs.

“i know i can.” you say, determined as he slips his cock between your folds, getting himself wet.

he prods at your entrance and you inhale sharply, feeling his tip push into you slowly. he groans as you envelop him, your walls squeezing tight.

“fuck, this pussy was made for me,” he says, bottoming out, buried deep in your cunt.

he sets an easy pace at first, testing your limits to see how you respond to his length and girth, and you’re whining, begging him for more.

“filthy girl. i knew you’d like it rough,” he says as he picks up the pace, fucking you like he means it.

he continues burying himself deep inside you and pulling out, slamming back into you with a brutality that sends you reeling. you’re feeling the coil tighten deep in your gut, and you’re gasping, his hand flying between your thighs to thumb your throbbing clit.

“gonna come…” you pant, tipping your head back into the pillow and clawing down his back.

“c’mon pretty girl. give it to me.” he says, grunting.

youre sent over the edge at that, orgasm tearing through you for a third time that night. you clench around his cock, and he grips your hip tightly, dipping down to put his head in the crook of your neck. he shudders, biting your neck, as he continues to fuck you, albeit erratically.

“fuck, gonna make me come, where do you want it pretty girl?” he groans, breath coming out in ragged huffs.

“don’t care, don’t care,” you cry, cock drunk and fucked stupid.

he groans as he fucks you, biting your shoulder as his hips stutter, hot ropes of his come painting your walls. you gasp, head full of cotton as he stills inside of you, moaning in your ear.

he pulls out, rolling over and flopping onto the bed next to you.

“you need a ride back to the shop tomorrow?” he asks after a beat, allowing you to catch your breath.

“yeah… will my car be ready?” you ask hazily, looking at him as you turn your head.

“shit…” he curses, running a hand over his face.

“i forgot to order the parts. guess you’ll be stuck with me until then, doll.” he gives you a crooked smile and your mouth falls open in shock.

so much for a one-night stand.

[bradshawsbaby]

could you maybe write something about period sex with al ruddy? because i’m experiencing the worst cramps of my life right now and i need a distraction

Ahh, I’m sorry, babe! That’s the worst! I hope you feel better soon! ♥️

18+ content below the cut.

You’d been in pain all day. It wasn’t some great surprise—you always got the worst cramps whenever it was that time of the month. But this month’s cramps were particularly brutal. Just when you thought one would pass, another would seize you, the lower half of your body spasming as you clenched your legs in agony beneath your desk.

On more than one occasion, you’d had to excuse yourself and run to the bathroom just to hide the fact that you were near tears from how much you were hurting. You knew your boss wasn’t pleased, but he also didn’t want to make an enemy of Al, so he kept his comments to himself.

When the workday was over and Al came to your office to pick you up, you whispered in his ear, “Can we skip dinner tonight, darling? I just really want to go home.”

Al was a bit surprised, but when he saw the look on your face and how your brow was furrowed deeply in pain, he immediately nodded and wrapped his arm around you as he led you to his car.

As soon as you got back to Al’s place, you immediately stripped out of the dress you’d worn to work that day and changed into one of your flowy nightgowns, clutching your middle as another agonizing cramp took hold of you.

“What’s wrong, baby doll?” Al asked in concern, stepping up behind you and pressing a kiss to the back of your neck as he swept your hair aside.

“I have my period,” you admitted, feeling a little flushed with embarrassment. You and Al had been dating for months now, but it still wasn’t something you necessarily talked about openly, beyond telling him a few days out of every month that it “wasn’t a good time” for sex.

Al could feel your skin growing warm beneath his touch and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. “Baby doll, you don’t have to be embarrassed about that,” he told you, as if reading your mind. Turning you towards him, he took your chin between his index finger and thumb. “Is it the cramps?”

When you looked up at him in surprise, he chuckled, “Baby, I’m not completely oblivious to what goes on. I was married once, you know.” He winked down at you, stroking your cheek.

You felt yourself flush at that, but then nodded slowly. “They’re really bad today. It hurts so bad,” you confessed, your chin wobbling slightly.

“Oh, c’mere,” Al murmured gently, pulling you against his chest and rubbing your back soothingly.

Closing your eyes, you rested your head against his chest and took a few deep breaths, the two of you standing like that for what felt like a while.

“You know,” he said slowly, breaking the comfortable silence. “I have heard that there’s a pretty good solution for cramps,” he told you, slowly grazing his fingers against your hip.

When you glanced up and saw that familiar look in his eye, you tensed up slightly. “Oh, Al, no!” you said, embarrassed again. “No, that would be—it would be messy and disgusting and I couldn’t ask you to—”

“But you’re not asking me. I’m suggesting it,” Al cut you off, his deep voice vibrating in his chest as he looked down at you, cupping your face in his hands. “And why would it be disgusting? Messy, maybe, but I’ve never been afraid of a little mess,” he added with a grin. When he saw that you still looked a little shy, he went on, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, baby doll. But if you want to, don’t think a little blood is going to scare me away. I want to make you feel good.”

“Okay,” you nodded slowly, standing on your tip toes to press a loving kiss to his lips. “If you’re sure,” you whispered.

“Never been more sure, baby,” he winked, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Al seemed to know just what to do, not turned off at all by the prospect of what was going to happen. You were a little nervous—you’d never had sex on your period before—but he kept offering you reassuring smiles as he pushed the covers back on the bed and laid out a few large towels.

“And if they get stained, they get stained. I can always buy new sheets and towels,” Al said when he saw you biting your lower lip. Smiling, he stepped around the bed until he reached you and pulled you into his arms, kissing you again, more deeply this time.

The two of you slowly undressed one another, Al lifting you in his strong arms and laying you down on the bed. He climbed in beside you, half on top of you, and continued to kiss you, your tongues lightly dancing with one another. His hands worked their way all over your body, his touches soft and sensual as he tried to ensure that you were fully ready for him.

“Al,” you panted softly, breaking the kiss and burying your face in his neck. “Need you. Need you so badly,” you sighed, whimpering as another painful cramp seized you.

“I got you, baby doll, I got you,” he assured you, taking himself in his hand as he straddled you and slowly guided himself towards your extremely sensitive entrance. When he pushed himself inside you, just the tip, and saw the way you threw your head back and moaned, he took one of your hands in his and laced your fingers together. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”

“G-good,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “It’s just so sensitive,” you admitted, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you,” Al nodded, rocking his hips slowly as he bent down to kiss you.

In response, you wrapped your arms around him and buried your fingers in his dark curls, drawing him even closer to yourself.

Your lovemaking was slow and languid, the sounds of heavy breathing and the smell of sex permeating the air as Al fueled your body with pleasure, the pain of your cramps long forgotten as he ground his hips against yours, his length stroking deep inside your aching walls.

Both your bodies damp with sweat, Al slid his mouth down from your lips to your breasts, taking one of your sensitive nipples into his mouth and sucking lightly. You felt yourself clench in response, which caused him to moan against your skin.

“Al, baby, I’m so close,” you gasped out, feeling the telltale sign of your legs beginning to tremble.

Al didn’t change his pace, just lifted his head and gazed down at you, smoothing your sweaty hair away from your face as he continued to thrust into you slowly. He kissed you once, on the corner of your mouth, but then pulled back so he could keep watching you.

“Darling, I—oh, oh,” you gasped, your eyes widening and your chest heaving. You came while crying out his name and staring deeply into his eyes, your entire body turning to mush as soon as you fell over the edge.

Al finished a moment or two later, pulling out and spilling himself on your thigh, and the two of you lay panting together for a few moments.

“That was—I—I do feel better,” you laughed suddenly, noticing that the cramps weren’t bothering you at the moment. But when you glanced down and saw the mess that you had made, you immediately felt your cheeks grow warm.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Al whispered, drawing your attention back up to his eyes. “Just look at me. I’m gonna get you in the shower, and then I’m gonna come take care of all this, okay? I don’t care about the mess,” he reminded you, kissing the tip of your nose.

You nodded slowly, letting him lift you up out of bed and carry you to the bathroom. “Are you going to come shower with me when you’re done?” you asked, wrapping your arms around him.

“Of course, baby doll,” he promised.

And he did. You and Al cleaned each other from head to toe, then dried off and got ready for bed, crawling under the covers and sliding against the fresh sheets Al had put on.

“I love you so much, darling,” you whispered, resting your cheek against his chest.

Al chuckled, stroking your back lightly. “Not as much as I love you.”

[hotchs-bitch]

Autograph

Summary: Aaron loves you in a way you've never been loved before, and you never want it to end

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: fluff, case study brain because I'm ill, mentions of sex but nothing explicit, allusion to proposal, possessive!hotch

A/N: big big shoutout to @honeybrowne for 1) inspiring me to write this and 2) betaing (see: validating) it. You are the best <33 Find it on ao3 here, or under the cut!

Happy reading <3

I'd change your autograph

I'd put my name on you

And I'd put big gold ring on your left hand

So everybody knew

That I'm the lucky one

At work, you know that your partner deals with all kinds of psychopaths. Abusive boyfriends, men who have scratched their initials into their victims, and more scenarios that he certainly keeps to himself.

You prefer it that way; Aaron is a possessive man sometimes, and you don’t want to draw any sort of association between him and the criminals he hunts. He’s a good man in both intention and action, and he always has been.

When he’s possessive, it’s in a good way. It’s an arm around your waist at company parties when some FBI hotshot eyes the swell of your breasts in a dress. It’s a hand holding yours in public, or an arm offered before you walk up a flight of stairs together.

It’s in your sex life, the way Aaron groans louder than ever whenever you say, “I’m yours,” and the way he fills you up with grunts of “Mine,” spilling from his lips into yours. 

You’re your own person, and you both know that. You and Aaron are mature, developed adults who are well past your years of thinking that partnership is needed to complete you.

The fact that he does complete you, makes you another person- a better person- beyond yourself is really just a bonus, at this stage in your life. His possession just proves it.

He worships you, calls you late at night from hotel rooms strewn across the country, showers you with attention whenever he’s home. He respects you, supports your career, and makes every decision with you instead of for you. The two of you look at houses together, discuss the future together, and you know that your opinion is just as valued as his- if not more.

So when he gets possessive, you don’t mind. You’ve encouraged it once or twice, flirting at the bar with a stranger before Aaron returns back from the bathroom just so you can feel arms encircling your waist and a kiss to your ear, followed by “Who’s your new friend, sweetheart?”

He doesn’t possess you like he wants everyone to know that you belong to him. He possesses you as though you already do, and that anyone else in the world is at fault for not seeing how head over heels the two of you are for each other.

It’s protective, in a way. Sure, you could always stand up for yourself when you get catcalled walking down the street. But the sight of Aaron striding towards a parked car, knocking on the cracked-open window, and saying “Want to try that again?” with his badge clipped to his suit isn’t an image you’ll grow tired of anything soon.

Aaron possesses you like something more cherished and loved than a trophy, like something he can’t believe is his. He doesn’t hide you away from the world, plastered in ‘for your eyes only’ signs. He shows you off, kisses you in public, and he’ll smirk at everyone in the place- especially anyone who’s tried to flirt with either of you, women and men alike on occasion- when you inevitably pull him towards the door with both hands in his towards the end of the night. It doesn’t matter what moves they try, or how flirty they are. He goes home with you, and it’ll never be any other way.

You’re his, in every way except legally. The two of you belong together, you belong to each other. It’s an intertwinement of souls, if you’re trying to get poetic about it; you make each other better, celebrating on the good days and uplifting on the bad. You’re two whole people, combining to form some deity of love beyond what you could ever be alone. Two hearts forming one massive one, instead of two halves of the same heart.

You know how lucky you are to have him, to have this side of him. When you’d first started dating and met his team, you heard joke after joke about what a hardass he could be, and Derek had even wished you luck in drawing a smile out of him.

It’s hard for you to picture Aaron’s face painted with anything less than a broad grin.

He’s told you time and time again that you make him better; a better man, a better person, a better partner than he thought he could be. The crumbling of his first marriage, months after he joined the FBI, has certainly played into those insecurities.

You’ve always been up for the task of reminding him that you’re the lucky one; particularly because to you, it isn’t a task at all. You’ll do any work, say anything he needs to hear, in order to break down those walls of fear and resentment he’d built up over the years before meeting you.

The progress that the two of you have made has been astounding, to say the least. Still, sometimes during a late dinner or while watching TV you’ll ask him what he’s thinking about, and he’ll mumble, “Not sure how I got so lucky.” 

No matter how many times you echo the sentiment for yourself, he’s never stopped saying it.

————

You’ve talked about the future before. You’ve discussed houses, career changes, and even whether you want to have kids, but you’ve never broached the subject of marriage.

It’s Aaron who brings it up first, of course. It’s nice to think that you’ve added to his confidence, but the truth is that he just feels comfortable approaching you about anything; there’s no credit to take, and you wouldn’t take it even if he tried to give it to you.

“What are you doing?” He asks as a greeting when he gets home, pressing a kiss to your temple as he passes by the kitchen table. His gun is set in the safe, and his briefcase is stowed out of sight; work is left at the office.

“That new car I’m buying,” you answer, half-distracted. You’re not focused enough to keep your attention on signing the stack of papers in front of you, and you catch him by the tie and pull him down for a proper kiss when he moves to pass you again. “Mm. They’ve got me signing away my life, here. My hand is going to cramp up soon. How was your day?”

Aaron grabs you a glass of water, setting it down in front of you. “Poor girl. You should invest in a new pen,” he suggests, watching the inkflow falter when you sign yet another page. “It was alright. Dave has Morgan and I going over to watch the game. I’d rather stay home, but he’s got a flatscreen.”

“At this point, I might just invest in a stamp with my autograph on it.” You sigh dramatically for comedic effect, and he chuckles. “It might not be as legal, but it would be easier. When are you leaving?”

“Right away. I’ve been called on to pick up pizza and beer.” Aaron pulls his suit jacket off, replacing it with a brown fleece quarter-zip overtop of his dress shirt. The white collar peeks out of the top, teasing you until he tucks it back under the fleece. “I wouldn’t go for a stamp, by the way. That’s a waste of an investment.”

“Because it’s illegal? Ugh, I knew it,” you groan, and Aaron laughs again while he digs for his car keys in the pocket of his suit jacket.

“I’m not going to speak on the legality. That’s between you and the car dealership,” he advises. “But I’m going to change your autograph, and I’ll do it long before that stamp runs out of ink.”

Your eyes widen a fraction; that’s not what you were expecting to hear, but it’s not unwelcome. “Oh. So, uh, I’ll stick to pens, then.” Your voice is hopefully more level to his ears than it is to yours, but he doesn’t seem to notice the twitch of your lips fighting a smile.

“I’ll bring you some of the good pens from work, if you remind me tomorrow. I’ll see you later, sweetheart. I love you.” He leans down to kiss you again, soft and sweet and smiling into it.

“Love you too,” you murmur when he breaks away. “Drive safe, root hard, whatever you men do at games. Call me if you need a ride, okay?”

Aaron promises to do so and leaves with another little smile in your direction. The door shuts behind him, and your own face breaks into a grin. It feels like another door has been opened, and you can’t wait to see what’s behind it.

—————

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Tell me what you thought <3

[plutodexay]

Omg I’m so sorry, I always forget that u have a sfw account lol

Could u write hcs for sapnap being a protective bf for his gf with bad social anxiety please ^-^

Dw I do too lmao

Sap would be the boyfriend who would have dedicated gestures while holding hands, like the squeeze three times for I love you type stuff.

He uses them all the time too, especially when he can feel you start to get nervous because who are we kidding you two are always holding hands when you're out and about.

There wouldn't be any major PDA so the most beyond hand holding would be him kissing your cheek when you get anxious

I can see him answering questions for you, asking for things like different sizes for you, or saying excuse me every so often because you won't.

The moment you get home though, you would be practically thrown on the couch with your favorite tv show playing while Sap goes in whatever direction to grab snacks before joining you until an ungodly hour.

Unless you want privacy, but knowing him he'd be close by so that if you said anything close to his name he'd come running.

[swordluck]

Puffin!! As famously bad as I am with words, you are receiving this message because you are one of my dearest friends on this awful website, and in the light of the end of the year, I wanted to share my love for you! We’ve now been writing together for four years and not a single day goes by that I don’t brag to people that I managed to drag you into tumblr rp. You are one of the best, most consistent and most passionate writers I’ve ever seen and your command of words inspires me again and again to Do Better. Every reply and drabble from you is a treasure trove of creativity, lyricism and unmatched skill. It is a privilege and an honor to write with you, and I am beyond grateful to be allowed to call you my friend. 

And that’s not all! Beyond your gift for writing and plotting, you are also an absolute gem of a person. I know things haven’t always been easy, but your resilience, your drive and your endless kindness are an inspiration to me, and I don’t say that lightly. Your steadfast support and interest have been an incredible anchor for me as well, and I don’t think it’s possible to put into words how much comfort and security your friendship brings me even in my most uncertain times. I wouldn’t want to miss you from my life, not for anything. Plus, I always look forward to playing video games with you and squaring up against many-pixeled horrors. But even more than that, I look forward to just being on the phone with you and getting to talk with you about anything! You introduced me to Bloodborne and then coaxed me into Dark Souls as well, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your passion for these games with me and letting me play them with you. Girl gang forever!! 

From the bottom of my heart: I love you and I am looking forward to another year together!

Oh my god, Lani, this message genuinely floored me!!  Thank you – this is nothing short of a gift, and I’ll treasure it forever.

Can you believe it’s been four years of writing together??  At this point, I can’t even remember the Before Times – and why would I want to?  I’ll never stop being grateful that you lured me into the madness that is Tumblr RP and held my hand through it all.  Not only that, but you’ve been my biggest supporter across fandoms and characters, time and space.

And your kind words about my writing?  Coming from someone whose prose I would print and frame if I could?  Every single reply and idea from you is a masterclass in storytelling, and I feel so lucky to be along for the ride.  Genuinely, I wouldn’t be half the writer I am today if it weren’t for you.

You are a light in my life, an absolute pillar, and I can’t overstate how much your friendship means to me.  We’ve both been through rough patches and wobbles, we’ve both had dips in activity and struggled with muse, but our conversations have never faltered.  You’re a force for good – the kind of person who makes everything brighter – and I can’t imagine my life, or even just this past year, without you in it.

I love our gaming sessions. How, even after we finish up and quit the game, we’ll stay on just to chit-chat about life, our characters, and everything in between. Bloodborne bowed before us, Far Cry 5 couldn’t hold us back, and soon we’ll have Dark Souls 1 and 3 under our belts, mark my words!

Girl gang forever, indeed.  I love you, Lani, and I’m beyond excited for another year of chatting, gaming, and creating with you.  Thank you for being in my life – for making it so much richer. ♡

[fogandblackcoffee]

LonelyEyes rec list

Just sharing some LonelyEyes fic I’ve enjoyed!

Satisfaction by thinkatory | 4k | Complete Summary: Peter is nothing if not comfortable with the status quo. "Don't you ever want to try something new, Peter?" "Like what?" Peter asks, in open sarcasm. "Skydiving?" "You might take a risk or two beyond the obvious." Elias hates his fascination with the perfect cut of Peter's suit, the angle of his jaw, the fullness of his lips. It's not a singular obsession, but it would be easy to set aside if only Peter wasn't such a tease. "Isn't there anything you've thought of doing in the last few years that isn't fooling around with work of the Lukas sort?" Peter drinks as he muses on that. "I've thought about making more trouble for you," he admits. "Did you want to make a bet? I'd like that." This goes about as well as you can imagine. Notes: A fic about a bet with Elias backfiring on Peter. Beautifully written, with on-point characterisation, entirely believable, and very hot.

Alone at the Edge of the Universe by PossiblyHuman | 20k | Incomplete Summary: He couldn’t help it. He was twelve, and had never been fond of reading. Perhaps if he had known this would have been his only chance to read this story, he would have paid more attention. Instead, he closed the book, stroking his hands over the coat one more time before hanging it back on the hook branded with his initials.There was a feeling of intense sadness, leaving it there like that. It tore at him, deep in his core as he walked to the door. Basically begging him to go back for it. He ignored it. If he could ignore the cries of his own siblings, a coat would never hold any sort of a sway over him.

(Or, a self indulgent au where the Lukas family are all repressed and cursed selkies, and Peter deigns to ignore that. Until he no longer can anymore.) Notes: I was completely uninterested in selkie fics until reading this, because it’s just that good. 

Simon Says by navree | 5k | Complete Summary: It is the surety of the sentence, the way that Simon is absolutely convinced in what he says, like it's the simplest fact.

Five times two very old men discussed the status of a young third party (and the one time that status changed). Notes: So emotionally devastating that I will never recover. All of this person’s fics are just brilliant, well-written and well-characterised, but this one is just heart-wrenching in a way that you don’t really expect with characters like these. I have to share in the sadness. Bonus: I don’t subscribe to the whole ‘Peter died to protect Elias’ secrets’ hc, but this person’s writing is so good I don’t even care.

A Net of Gossamer by navree | 11k | Complete Summary: Peter gives James a smile then, as uncharacteristic as anything for a Lukas, though it's just as sharp as the last time he did, like a mouth filled with knives and hard edges, and though light, filled with mockery. James finds that he doesn't necessarily mind it.

Notes: Another brilliant fic by Navree! All the compliments for Simon Says applies here too. 

Unwanted Looking-After by NevillesGran | 4k | Complete Summary: Peter all but fell out of the Forsaken, which had never happened before. He had also never been seen—worse, known so intimately. He had never, in his life or worst nightmares, spoken for twenty minutes straight about himself. “Come now, Peter," said Elias. "I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

Peter has lost a bet and just barely survived his encounter with the Archivist. His day gets worse from there. Notes: This fic lives rent-free in my brain. Like the others, magnificent characterisation, well-written, and the ending hit me like a freight train (in a good way. You know, a ‘whao that is an incredibly hot concept I’ve never considered before and I’m adding it to my degeneracy’ sort of way). 

365 daily affirmations for healing and positive thinking by serenfire | 5k | Complete Summary: The florist asks, “So, who should I address these flowers to?” Martin can't seem to get the words out. This was, unequivocally, a bad idea. Georgie gives Martin one last, wicked smile. “Write: To Peter Lukas. From Elias Bouchard.” This was a really, terribly awful, extremely bad idea, and it’s definitely going to end with Martin’s death. Notes: Absolutely hysterical.

get off (i'll only call you after if you say i can) by lewdwizard (sillywizard) | 1k | Complete Summary: There is a particular flavor of loneliness, Peter thinks, to anonymous sex. Two parties seeking closeness, connection, from a stranger, ending the night in an empty bed with nothing but the hollow satisfaction of an orgasm. The physical closeness plays so nicely off the emotional distance, sharing such intimacy with someone you will likely never see again. It should come as no surprise that, when on land, Peter tends to frequent glory holes. Notes: Just some hot, hot gloryhole LonelyEyes.

Ready for your use by LonelyPirate | 3k | Complete Summary: Elias is having a great time. Peter not so much. Notes: Apparently I really like fics where Peter has Elias’ dick in his mouth. Anyway, hot, well-written, and the concept and execution is just [chefs kiss]. 

[coramatus]

Cut ‘there were no instructions or fine print’ snippet bc the premise refused to cooperate

(…)

(A few days pass after Ingo comes home. Emmet has been moping the entire time, reluctant to interact with what he thinks is just the scraps of his brother. That entire time, Ingo has been trying to get Emmet’s attention by increasingly silly means. He tries writing but it comes out in Hisuian by mistake, he tries an old Xtransciever but the device malfunctions, tries typing on a computer only to break it when he claws a key too hard, he tries spelling things out on the floor in Legos but a sleepy Emmet accidentally steps on it barefooted and falls on it, etc.. Now Ingo is beyond frustrated and has remembered what a dry-erase board is. He goes up to Emmet, who is busy being sad on the couch.)

“Emmet! Emmet, get up!”

(Ingo makes chittery Sneasel noises at Emmet. Emmet is too caught up in mourning. Ingo decides he’s done playing.)

Ingo takes a deep breath, bracing himself before he grabs the whiteboard and bonks Emmet’s skull with it.

“Gah!!” Emmet yelps as his eyes fly open, jerking in surprise so hard he pitches himself off the couch and lands on his face.

As Emmet lets out a muffled groan, Ingo feels his ear twitch in annoyance at the scene before him.

“What the heck? What’s gotten into—?”

Ingo sits perched on the couch, holding up his whiteboard with the message:

EMMET STOP BEING SAD I’M HERE

“Ingo…?” (Emmet stares in dull shock)

(Ingo nods emphatically)

“Is it really…?” (Emmet’s face goes from dawning joy to abruptly overcome by indignant rage as the last few days of moping catch up with him) “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

(Ingo doesn’t get his reaction until the deep instinct of sibling rage takes hold of him too and he scribbles out an equally pissy message)

I TRIED YOU DIDN'T LISTEN

Emmet sputters in fury at him.

“You should’ve tried harder!!!” he snaps.

Ingo taps on the last three words on the board, one at a time, growling pointedly.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!!” Emmet shoots back in a volume that could rival Ingo’s on his best day, “I WAS SURE OF IT!”

(Ingo gets angrier)

I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE

Emmet throws his arms up and screams, “You asshole!! I just want to hug you and strangle you at the same time!”

Ingo’s ears are flat against his head, unable to contain his loud growl as he sloppily scribbles his words as fast as he can to express the inexplicable rage taking hold of him. The second he finishes he throws the marker down and thrusts the board at Emmet with a furious squeak.

SAME YOU DINGUS

Emmet sputters at him, his jaw working furiously, trying to come up with a response. As he stands there fuming, there’s a shift in the timbre of his breathing, going from fast and shallow to something thicker and choked.

“…it really is you.”

His breath hitches as he chokes back a sob, his strength seeming to fail him as he falls to his knees, staring at Ingo with hope blooming in his eyes.

Whatever anger Ingo had been feeling in that moment fizzles out as just quickly as it arrived. It’s enough to leave him reeling in confusion as he limps up to Emmet.

What is happening? Why does this rollercoaster of emotions feel so natural? As if they’ve done this sort of routine before?

Ingo rests his claws on Emmet’s hand, looking up at him in worry. Emmet just laughs wetly, struggling to hold back his tears as he covers his mouth,

“You never call me that unless you are verrry angry. Remember?”

Ingo very much does not. He grumbles in frustration and writes out another message.

MEMORY BAD HAVE AMNESIA SORRY

“It’s… jeez, it’s so stupid. Grandpa thought we were nuts. ‘You two scream and fight and now you’re hugging and crying. Oy, I give up!’” he quoted in a perfect imitation of their grandfather’s accent.

A faint memory flashes of the utterly vicious knock down, drag out fights that he and Emmet would sometimes get into as they grew up. While these incidents were rare, they were screaming, clawing, punching, biting affairs that resulted in trips to the hospital more than once.*

* (There was the time Emmet kicked him down the stairs, knocking out his two front baby teeth which he then accidentally swallowed. There was a time when he managed to smash one of their toys over Emmet’s head so hard he needed several stitches to close the wound. They could be mean as kids.

But every time, they ended the same way: hugging and sobbing on each other, wailing apologies between their tears, snot, and blood.)

“So, amnesia?” Emmet asks softly. He raises a hand to Ingo’s cheek, thumb brushing over his soft fur as he traces his facial markings. “Is that why you could not signal me until now?”

TRIED TO SIGNAL YOU FOR DAYS BUT YOUR HEAD WAS UP YOUR ASS

Emmet lets out a graceless snort, “Yeah, I guess I deserve that.”

(…)

[noxexistant]

Ayyyy ty :)

This has probs already been said but Oscar is also autistic. I don’t make the rules.

especially in your au with Morris. He knows he needs to protect his bro. He can’t show weakness. But he still struggles with figuring out what people mean (eg thinking Medda was trying to hurt morris in that last fic, thinking she was mocking mo with the stimming blah blah blah)

my boy needs a hug so bad <3

I’m gonna write a fic about someone offering him comfort and him not knowing how to accept it so he just gets mad and pushes them away. would yall like to see it? - 🤠 anon

REAL!!! SO REAL!!

i like the idea that he goes undiagnosed in the modern au too. largely by his own decision, because medda offers to get him assessed - first at the same time as morris, which oscar refuses because he wants to make sure morris gets all the attention and support, and then afterwards, which oscar refuses because he knows he’s not like morris, so clearly he can’t be autistic. and also he just…doesn’t really want to know. he’s afraid of the revelations that’d come if he is. he’s terrified of being vulnerable. medda tries to assure him that a diagnosis won’t change anything, but oscar isn’t having it.

he also has a lot of issues with ableism, at least when he’s younger. their parents and subsequent carers treated morris like dirt, and all he ever saw was his little brother being helpless and having meltdowns and messing up at stuff. it gets better as he grows up and starts actually trying to understand how morris’ brain works beyond just knowing that he can’t do certain stuff and gets upset easy but is also really good at other stuff, but there’s still a lot of stuff that he was raised with that he has a hard time letting go of. his idea of autism, when he finally builds it, is just morris - he doesn’t understand that it’s a complex spectrum that he could still be on. morris is the centre of the universe to him, the very core of his worldview.

like you said, oscar absolutely struggles with tone most, and tends to thus interpret everything in the worst-intentioned way possible. he has the exact opposite of all of morris’ sensitivities - he’ll eat anything, sleep on concrete with no problems, has a very high pain tolerance, can’t read his own body cues like hunger or thirst. he gets very restless, but his stims are much more subtly autistic than morris’ - hitting his palms together, pacing, crossing his arms and squeezing them, tapping his foot. he’s the type to click pens relentlessly and tap them and spin them, tosses his head back and cracks his neck when he’s bored or frustrated, cracks his knuckles - he likes those ones ‘cause they make people anxious.

he so desperately needs the opportunity to just…be himself. have someone pay real attention to him, which medda tries so hard to do but he just won’t let her. he only knows how to be morris’ big brother, morris’ caregiver, morris’ world to go hand-in-hand with morris being his. he’d break anyone’s nose if they tried to hug him, then try and break their jaw if they tried again, but if they managed he’d break into pieces. he has to try so hard not to every time morris crawls into his arms, tries to hold oscar like oscar holds him.

i would absolutely LOVE to read that fic if you write it and are up for sharing it :’) <3

[crystalsnowmins]

Yoonmin Scenario #18

10k of how to ruin a good prompt. I think could have done a good job. It’s vague again.

* * * Non-AU, In which Yoongi and Jimin develop feelings for each other through ARMYs help.

Yoongi never thought more of Jimin because he knew they are friends, and Jimin considers him as his hyung, someone he looks up to. Yoongi came out, as a bisexual, to his group after the I NEED U era.

Everything they have worked for, the sleepless night that came and passed by, the empty stomachs they slept on, it paid off finally. They suddenly started to win first place in music shows. It was an unexpected win for them and they couldn’t be thankful for the ARMYs who made it possible. When they won the second and the third time, Band PD-nim said that this is just the starting for them.

Yoongi had hoped that they would really go ahead and achieve their dreams, whether it is producing their own music or be the group that teaches people. Everybody had different dreams to look forward to now. He understood that this is the true starting and the group should start with no lies.

He had told Namjoon and Hoseok first because he had been with them longer than the maknae line and Jin. They were very accepting of Yoongi’s choices, though Yoongi was ready to be thrown out of the group. He asked them to explain it to the kids and Jin hyung as well because they might not be used to the idea of it.

When he told the others, they were silent and Jungkook had those big round eyes staring at him as if contemplating. Yoongi remembers that Namjoon and Hoseok didn’t have to explain anything to make them understand, he remembers Jimin standing and walking to Yoongi, giving him a tight hug and saying that it’s okay.

“Whatever may be your preferences, you’re still Yoongi hyung,” Jimin declares to them, getting a solid nod from everyone and a huge group hug. He remembers feeling some amount of limbs around him, a whole lot of warmth and then Jimin pressing against his side, laughing at their group antics.

Yoongi stayed awake that night and thought of Jimin just because. He was proud that his dongsaeng took it well and was mature with his answer. He’s proud of others as well but he didn’t realise that the once childish Jimin was not so childish anymore.

Next step was to talk to Bang PD-nim which went surprisingly well. Namjoon was by his side all throughout the meeting. The director only told him that he has to be careful, to not let it slip even once because they are at a very critical stage and one wrong move, they’ll all end up their own careers.

From there on, Yoongi’s heart has always felt ease that he didn’t need to hide things anymore and everyone was accepting of him. Only the boys and Bang PD knew of his bisexuality as they didn’t feel sure of telling the staff. And nothing changed between them, they didn’t treat Yoongi differently. Like Jimin has said, he’s still Yoongi to them.

When WINGS era started, the real tension began within him. They were now a lot popular and had millions of fans anticipating their songs and dances. They changed a lot in the years that passed by but still held the same fear; one wrong move and they’ll end their own careers.

Yoongi had been working on his mixtape as well and he put everything to it. He hopes it will be received well by people because he has opened a door that no artists dare to open to the public.

Things didn’t look good from Yoongi’s side because not only there was a full-length album to be released, but also his mixtape and for some fucked up reason, the little soft spot he has developed for now currently silver-haired boy, Jimin.

He doesn’t know how it happened or when it happened but he believes it happened when they started having small late-night talks with each other, reminiscing about the days and what was going on fancafe. It started with them opening a little bit more to each other to the point that Yoongi knows every single detail about Jimin’s life and vice versa.

It’s wrong in so many ways, not only does he has a crush on a man but it had to be his own group member, a person with the biggest heart and straight. Yoongi wonders if Jimin thinks about him a little more different but then he thinks it’s not true because Jimin is straight and he doesn’t like men how Yoongi does.

So Yoongi never tells him fearing that their friendship would come to an end as well as their group. He doesn’t tell anyone and keep it to himself.

Jimin has made a sanctuary in Yoongi’s heart in the last few years they have been together as a group. He always finds time to talk to Yoongi, he always volunteers to drag Yoongi back to the dorms, he’s a real brat with Yoongi, he always tells his secrets and asks for advice to Yoongi. They have been taking care of each other for so long that it feels natural between them, whether it be hand holdings or sleeping on the same bed.

It’s normal for them to declare they love each other, or at least like each other. Fans like the interactions between them, so it’s fine, they are not jeopardizing anyone’s career. All the times Jimin has said that he loves or likes Yoongi, the latter knows it’s out of friendship and respect, nothing more. And all the times he has said that he likes Jimin, it left him with a guilt.

On the day of the WINGS jacket shooting, Yoongi waits for his turn tiredly. He gives a small interview, saying he feels tired and that he hasn’t slept the night before because he spent it talking to Jimin.

He poses for a unit photo shoot with Jimin leisurely without trying to let his feeling surface at the younger’s touch. They had another unit photoshoot with Jin in a bathtub. If you ask Yoongi, he’d say it was a lot intimate. First, it was Jimin’s body on top him in a small bathtub, he feels guilty for even thinking that he liked how it felt. Then they had to stare intensely at each other. It felt a lot personal and Yoongi worried that Jimin would see everything he’s been hiding. At the end of the photoshoot, Jimin throws a wink at Yoongi cheekily and skips to see the photos that came out.

It’s not like Yoongi is always thinking about the latter. It’s when he has nothing to think about, his mind automatically reverts back to Jimin or if the said boy is around and somehow getting Yoongi’s attention.

The album was released successfully and they had to attend various fan signs. It’s safe to say that their title song was received well. Around February, they released a repackage album called WINGS: YOU NEVER WALK ALONE.

That too was received well and through that, they gained more popularity. Around February, their DVD EPILOGUE II was released, that had several behind the scenes and other kinds of stuff. Yoongi has always stalked himself on Twitter to see what fans have been talking about him if there are any new memes of him if there are certain things that he hasn’t noticed but the fans did. So that’s exactly what happened.

He saw a video of himself talking about being awake due to Jimin as they had talked all night. It was from their jacket shooting, Yoongi remembers. Helpfully the caption was in Korean that said, “Look at Yoongi wasting his sleep over Jimin, look how happy he seems and that sparkle in his eyes, yoonmin is so real.”

Yoongi knows what ‘Yoonmin’ is, it’s Jimin and his name joined together. He replays the video for more than 10 times to see what the fan has meant. And he realises that he did look happier than he should. Yoongi treasures his sleep and everybody knew. It may have come out as a surprise to fans that he seemed rather happy than irritated. Yoongi reprimands himself for smiling so much just because he talked to Jimin whole night.

But he couldn’t stop smiling now because of the chat they had last year. He still remembers how Jimin had called in the middle of the night, while Yoongi was in the studio working on his mixtape. They had talked about everything and anything. It was normal for them to be like this, calling in the dead of the night and just talking, it seemed like the topics never ended between them.

He remembers Jimin saying that he wanted to let Yoongi know something because he guessed the older will understand better than anyone else. It has confused Yoongi at that time. But he still listened to Jimin calmly when the latter came out to him on the phone call. It created an atmosphere of silence between them and Yoongi didn’t know how to take the news. Jimin had worriedly called out his name and asked Yoongi if he hates him. Yoongi could never hate Jimin.

He apologized for being quiet and explained Jimin that it’s all right if he’s gay, he’s still his Jiminie. Yoongi felt proud that he was the first one that Jimin has informed, even though he knew it had something to do with Yoongi’s bisexuality. He felt truly happy for Jimin and that happiness continued for the next day during their schedule.

Yoongi scrolls through the hashtag of his name and sees pictures of his photoshoot or the fan site took pictures. Out of nowhere, he decides to type ‘Yoonmin’ in the search bar and anticipate what kind of content would come.

There were a lot of tweets written in English and he couldn’t really understand. So he scrolled through pictures and videos of them being together and somehow people making the theory that they are together. Yoongi wishes.

He sees a short video of him intensely staring at Jimin while he talks. It doesn’t have a sound but somebody must have edited it so that it focuses on Yoongi and Jimin only. He sees himself looking at Jimin so intensely, and wonders that if he really does look at Jimin like this. He wonders if Jimin knows this. Does he feel uncomfortable?

Feeling his brain being mushed up again, Yoongi decides to shut off his phone and work on his mixtape that needed a sooner date as well.

It became a regular habit to check his name joined together with Jimin. Every time a YouTube video is posted, or a run episode, Yoongi always see if there’s any content about so-called ‘Yoonmin’. He wants to see what ARMYs see between Jimin and Yoongi. If they can find a single interaction between them. Even though Yoongi clears away from Jimin during their shoot, the fans always find a way to make up theories.

It fears Yoongi in the way that he shouldn’t take things lightly. ARMYs are very sharp and observative, if they can find a single interaction between Jimin and Yoongi, then one wrong move from latter’s side and he’ll risk everything. It fears him that the fans know something that Jimin and Yoongi aren’t even aware of.

When Yoongi really thinks about it, he remembers many moments he had with Jimin throughout their career. He remembers Jimin always beside him, leaning into him, holding his hands, holding his waist, consoling him. In every aspect of Yoongi’s life as an idol, Jimin was always a part of it. He doesn’t know how he missed it, the constant presence of Jimin.

Even when they visit their families, Jimin is still there with Yoongi in the form of late night calls because Jimin says that he likes to talk to Yoongi and wants to sleep after hearing his voice. If only Jimin knew what it does to Yoongi.

Sometimes Jimin can be reality flirtatious, which confuses and scares Yoongi at the same time. He disregards those moments as Jimin being a brat. Yoongi knows for sure that Jimin somehow knows what Yoongi feels for him and he’s using that power he holds, to make Yoongi fluster just by his presence.

At some point in their career, with several interviews, they were asked about their ideal type and if they would date any member if they were girls. At some point during those interviews, Yoongi said that he would date Jimin and he said anyone would fall in love with Jimin if they looked into his eyes.

He wasn’t lying, Yoongi isn’t in love with Jimin, that’s scarier than anything. He just has this teeny tiny crush on his group member. Which is so much better than being in love, right? And he guesses that it happened because he also lost himself in the eyes of Jimin. Yoongi hates him for it. He hates how absolutely breathtaking Jimin is every moment and how he put Yoongi in this awkward position because of few genuine smiles.

But Yoongi doesn’t heed to his feelings. They’ll go away, he genuinely wishes because not only it’s heartbreaking to know that he probably likes Jimin, but the one he likes doesn’t like him back. But nonetheless, Yoongi always search about ‘Yoonmin’ to see what fans have found about them.

There are times in Yoongi’s life that he has probably slept with every member, like sleeping next to each other. When they were in the starting of their career, they all shared one room and somehow managed to sleep in the same room. When they got their own dorm with four rooms, they all had a roommate except Jungkook. When they used to go to a foreign country, they decided the roommate based on rock, paper, scissors game. So Yoongi always ended with someone and he doesn’t mind, really.

There’s always two single beds in a hotel room. So he feels comfortable maintaining the distance in the silence of the night. He probably has shared hotel rooms with Jimin a lot, because that’s just his luck, god was probably bored and decided that Yoongi and Jimin need to be in a room.

It was still fine when they had single beds. Jimin would let Yoongi chose first and take the other bed. Yoongi feels most comfortable with Jimin, not because he’s biased. It’s just so easy to talk to Jimin because he listens intently and wants to talk to Yoongi as well. They usually talk until they couldn’t form words and fall asleep. It’s safe like that because Jimin is on other bed.

But during Hawaii, for Bon Voyage 2, the god has been really playful with Yoongi because somehow Jimin and he needed up in the same room with single bed. Yoongi really wanted to change the room despite Jimin’s utter happiness. But then he realises that if he does, the members will be suspicious and somehow it will reach Jimin which will sadden him. Yoongi hates sad Jimin.

So he calmed his nerves and pretended to be okay with the arrangement. Jimin even brought wine to their room because of course, they’ll talk till late night. But Yoongi was really tired and he wanted to sleep. While Jimin got ready for bed, Yoongi was already in bed, scrolling through his feeds. He especially arranged a wall of pillows between them for safety measure.

When Jimin switches off lights, Yoongi eyes were already giving up on him. He thinks it’s better sleeping early than staying awake talking to Jimin and knowing that he is in the same bed, just a few centimetres away from him.

“Hyung, are you asleep?” Jimin asks and Yoongi pretends to be quiet so Jimin gets the hint.

But he couldn’t do that for long when Jimin’s sigh sounded sad and disappointed. The younger was obviously having a difficult time right now.

“I’m awake, Jiminie,” Yoongi tried his best to sound awake, “Wanna talk?”

And they talked for long, Jimin telling about the concert, his fear and how he genuinely feels about their success and Yoongi listened to him the whole night without falling asleep. In the middle of the night, Jimin had shifted closer and Yoongi slyly shuffled back. It’s just too dangerous territory.

But in the morning, somehow they ended up tangled with Jimin face tucked in his chest and Yoongi holding tightly onto his waist. He doesn’t know how it happened but when he moves to look at the wall of pillows, it’s all broken. He stays still while Jimin wills himself to wake up too. It’s so awkward that Yoongi doesn’t know what to do. For Jimin, it seems normal as he gives Yoongi a very sleepy, closed eyes smile.

Jimin is a natural cuddler, so this position doesn’t bother him and he’s so not in love with Yoongi to care about the position. But Yoongi? He’s not a cuddler and he has this huge crush on Jimin and this position doesn’t help him. He thought Jimin would move away, but he just moves closer and snuggles some more.

Thankfully, the door is locked so nobody is going to barge in and see them like this. It feels too domestic to be waking up to Jimin, tangled together and just enjoying the few minutes before they have to rush back to shooting. They don’t speak and just cuddle as long as nobody knocks on the door. Both are awake but none of them speaks about the position they woke up in.

For Yoongi, filming Bon Voyage was fun and relaxing but at the same time traumatizing. When the episodes were posted, Yoongi saw it again. He smiled, remembering their time there and searched for every moment where he and Jimin were found to be together. He couldn’t see what ARMYs could.

He read on Twitter about the whole Bon Voyage show and what ARMYs feel about it. He saw many memes of Hoseok and Jungkook and laughed secretly to it. When he typed in Yoonmin, he immediately saw so many pictures of the said pair that he failed to notice while he was watching the show.

Many ARMYs pointed out the moments that Yoongi and Jimin found to be together and described the picture so well. Some were talking about how Yoongi cooked for Jimin as a task and Jimin cutely looking at Yoongi and that’s just so boyfriend-ish!

Many talked about how they slept in the same bed. Yoongi wishes that he could also be joyous about it but nothing was so fun about it except that his feelings only grew. They pointed at how Yoongi was worried that Jimin would get lost and whine about it.

He didn’t realise how it sounded that time but now he’s playing on repeat and reading the captions, he does feel like he knows more about Jimin and worries for him. Turns out, Jimin did whine and get lost.

Yoongi almost didn’t want to watch Bon Voyage 1 because he was scared of revelations.

The members must have realised before Yoongi did it or for that matter Jimin. It came to Yoongi with a blow when Namjoon casually brought it up in a conversation while they were working on the album.

“So, Jimin, huh?” He asks and Yoongi briefly glances at him with confusion.

“What about him?” Yoongi distractedly mumbles.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me,” Namjoon says, turning back to his own work.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Namjoon-ah, honestly,” Yoongi irritatedly say. Yoongi hates when someone beats around the bush, he can’t and doesn’t want to start solving some stupid riddle.

“It’s okay if you like Jimin, you can tell me, you know?” Namjoon mumbles, not looking at Yoongi and working up on some lyrics.

Yoongi turns to look at him, still for a moment, trying to contemplate what gave it away for Namjoon to think he likes Jimin. Or does he even mean in that way? Maybe he means that Yoongi is paying more attention to Jimin than the other kids?

“Yeah, I do. Of course, I do, he’s my dongsaeng! Why would I dislike him?” Yoongi tests the water. He really hopes that Namjoon is really talking about this hyung and dongsaeng relationship only. He will fucking die if Namjoon or anyone for that matter comes to know that Yoongi like Jimin as a man.

“Not like that,” Namjoon sighs and looks up from where he was writing and cutting off the lyrics, “Don’t fool me, Yoongi hyung,” He narrows his eyes at him and a cold sweat breaks at Yoongi’s neck.

Namjoon knows, he fucking knows! Anybody could have known, except Namjoon. But then also, it would have been a surprise if Namjoon didn’t realise sooner. He’s very observant, so of course, he knows. Yoongi just wonders how he knows because he’s been really careful to not show any sign that he has this hugest crush on Jimin. Yes, he sidetracks during shoots and all, but it’s just that. It’s for the camera, the teasing, the bantering, it’s for the fans that want them to interact.

Otherwise, at the dorm, he maintains his distance. It’s easier to maintain a distance during shoots because he knows the number of people and camera around and anything could be captured. But at the dorm, there’s no one to really see when Yoongi fondly stares at Jimin, so it gets a tad bit difficult to control himself. He should’ve though because now Namjoon knows.

He probably hates him not because Namjoon doesn’t support same-gender love, he’s fucking president of it, but because the grave mistake Yoongi has done by falling for his group mate. It’ll ruin everything if it comes out and Namjoon hates him for that. He should hate him.

“Namjoon…,” Yoongi trails off, there’s nothing to hide if Namjoon knows. He’ll only dig for more until Yoongi tells him. “I’m sorry,” He whispers, hands clammy from nervousness. Yoongi wonders if everybody else knows, if Namjoon has told them if Jimin has found out on his own too, or somehow it has reached him too.

“Why are you sorry, hyung?” Namjoon furrows his eyebrows and keeps his notebook aside.

“It’s wrong,”

“Loving the same gender is not wrong, you know better, hyung,” Namjoon softly reprimands. He knows Yoongi supports gay rights and LGBTQ+ community, what he doesn’t know is why Yoongi thinks it’s wrong when it has come upon him.

“It’s wrong because it’s Jimin,” He looks up to make an eye contact, “He’s a group member,” Yoongi reminds him.

Namjoon could only look at him in sympathy. He knows it wouldn’t work out ever. The fact it’s the same gender love, it’s a risk more than it’s worth. Then, of course, falling for a member. It wouldn’t work but Namjoon doesn’t want Yoongi to hold back and be unhappy about it.

“I’m sorry, it will be okay,” Namjoon says and hugs him briefly.

“How did you know?” Yoongi had asked him after they have gone back to working on music.

“I saw the way you look at him, someone fucking stupid wouldn’t realise it,” Namjoon scoffs and smiles.

“So Jimin?” Yoongi softly jokes.

“Hey now, don’t blame Jiminie,” Namjoon scolds, “By the time he looks at you, you’re back to being stoic and dead, he really can’t see then,” Namjoon shrugs and Yoongi nods. It’s true. He would look away whenever Jimin would catch him.

“Then I hope our members are actually fucking stupid,” Yoongi grumbles, Namjoon only smiles in pity.

On the other side of the story, things weren’t looking pretty good for Jimin. He was in a dilemma and had no one to talk about. Well, he did have his members but he didn’t know how to tell them. Coming out as a gay is one thing but falling for a member, non platonically is a whole different thing.

He always had Yoongi to talk about things, whether it be his nightmares, his dreams, his worries, his insecurities or even his sexuality. Yoongi was the first person Jimin revealed his sexuality. He knew the older wouldn’t judge him for being not straight. He knew others wouldn’t judge him as well, after being together for so long, but he didn’t know how to deliver the news without being scared of feedback.

But he just knew with Yoongi, he knew the older would accept him, gay or straight, it wouldn’t matter to him. Jimin was right at the end. It was Yoongi who encouraged him to tell other members as well as he has done long before. Just as the relationship cannot work on lies and secrets, a group won’t work on lies and secrets. It had been difficult, but Yoongi was there the whole time, ready to argue with anyone who would be against Jimin’s sexuality.

And it would have been to easy to confess if it wasn’t for the fact that the man he was pinning behind was none other than Yoongi. How fucking cruel.

He knows he could still go and confess but what’s the outcome of it? Being rejected? Being degraded? Yoongi might be all into gay rights and love wins trend and probably will tattoo a rainbow flag on his forehead, but that doesn’t mean he accepts same gender love in the same group.

It doesn’t work that way and he would rather have Yoongi as a friend instead of having him as nothing and ruining the dynamics of the group. It had been more difficult with the amount of attention Yoongi lays to him.

Jiminie, did you eat well? Are you eating enough? You should rest a bit. Don’t exert yourself. You looked good today. You did well on stage. You’re such a hard worker, Jiminie.

With the daily appreciation and concerns, comes a lot of touching in platonically way. Yoongi always touched Jimin and other members. It’s fine, they all do. He really doesn’t mind but when it comes to Yoongi, he gets flustered easily, having his hands on Jimin’s body. It makes Jimin wants to press himself against Yoongi at times to feel him completely. He thought that now that he has come out as gay, people would be wary of being near him but it’s totally opposite, Taehyung still cuddles with him and if it was possible, he loves his group a lot more.

Jimin doesn’t do anything about his feelings. He let them be there for as long as he can hold them to himself. Maybe, Jimin thinks, maybe when everything ends, when they go in separate ways, maybe then Jimin will confess and be happy with whatever response he will get. He doesn’t want to live in regret of not conveying his feelings at all. Yoongi is not an easy person to read, so he doesn’t know what Yoongi feels about him.

It will be whimsical if Yoongi does have feelings for him, because it happens in stories and not in real life, right? How could it be possible that two people are pinning after each other but afraid of confessing to each other for the fear of losing each other? That’s what whimsical means. Yoongi doesn’t like Jimin as a man, just as a friend, as a dongsaeng.

Jimin likes being on twitter and connecting with his fans, really. He supposes he’s the one who’s most on twitter and reading all the tweets about them. When he searches Bangtan, he gets a lot of content and nowadays, it has all been about their RUN episodes and memes of it.

It the middle of searching some really ugly photos of members that could be posted on twitter for occasions, Jimin gets a text from Namjoon.

He opens it and sees a picture of him and Yoongi. It was from their recent episode of RUN which has been uploaded today. Jimin has already seen it and he wonders why Namjoon has sent it.

To Namjoonie hyung, What is this, hyung?

From Namjoonie hyung, You and Yoongi hyung. I thought it looked cute. I saw it on twitter.

It was a picture of them in a, well sort of a team hug, but the camera focused or rather the picture was focused on Jimin smiling widely and hugging Yoongi while tucking his head under Yoongi’s chin and the latter looking proud and patting. It looked almost intimate, a small moment between just them caught by the camera. Jimin remembers that shooting of RUN episode for arcade games.

They do look cute, Jimin would totally agree. He immediately saves the photo to his camera roll.

From Namjoonie hyung, I see a lot of you and Yoongi hyung on twitter, you know?

To Namjoonie hyung, Is that a bad thing?

Jimin worries.

From Namjoonie hyung, No, it’s not, Jiminie. Not until you think it that way. I think it’s cute how close you both are. Don’t worry about it, when it comes to you and Yoongi, everything is okay, remember that.

Namjoon was being cryptic about his message. Jimin wanted to ask what he meant but he rather thought not to. It shouldn’t be that difficult if Jimin doesn’t think of it like that.

To Namjoonie hyung, You didn’t use the formal speech, I’m gonna screenshot this and send it to Yoongi hyung.

From Namjoonie hyung, Like hell, you will, brat!

Jimin giggles and keeps the phone aside while he watches the TV again. He so engrossed in the movie, that he doesn’t realise his phone buzzing next to him, a series of a message from Namjoon.

From Namjoonie hyung, Upon min

From Namjoonie hyung, Yoonminie*

From Namjoonie hyung, Fucking hell! Yoonmin* Check out on twitter.

He giggles at Namjoon’s struggles and wonders what does the word in English mean. Nonetheless, he copies the word and pastes it on his twitter search. After few seconds, loads and loads of tweets are being updated.

Jimin scrolls through it and realises it’s mostly him and Yoongi. So it must be something about them. He sees many tweets in English and he doesn’t understand half of it, but he is happy to see the pictures of Yoongi and him.

He sees a sequence of a picture of him looking at Yoongi smiling while the older boy is smiling with the gummy smile and looking somewhere else. He remembers from a fan sign and honestly wonders what those captions mean. So the screenshot that tweet and message Namjoon.

From Namjoonie hyung, You sure you want me to translate?

Jimin furrows his eyebrows.

To Namjoonie hyung, Is it something bad?

From Namjoonie hyung, It’s actually not… It says and you look like you’re so much in love with Yoongi and there’s no pure form of love other than yours both.

Jimin almost drops the phone when he reads his message. He immediately switches back to the photo and carefully sees it. Did ARMYs recognize something? Did they realise Jimin’s crush on Yoongi? Does he really look at Yoongi like he is complete, utterly in love with him? Does Yoongi know? Jimin is almost shaken up. He wonders if ARMYs have found out and wants to screenshot several tweets just to understand the meaning of it. But that will be bothersome for Namjoon hyung.

From Namjoonie hyung, Don’t let it bother you, Jimin.

To Namjoonie hyung, It’s not bothering me…

He feels almost reluctant to send that message. What would Namjoon think of it? It should disgust Jimin, from Namjoon’s perspective, that fans think like that about their two band members, who are solely brother from the bond. But it doesn’t disgust Jimin.

From Namjoonie hyung, Good. Don’t let people’s words get to you. Whatever you’re thinking now is what you’re feeling. So don’t suppress it for the sake of others.

This time also, Jimin doesn’t ask Namjoon what he means.

And just like this, Namjoon sends him different photos of Yoongi and him together, captures by fans either in their concert or from a different source. He would save them all in a different album. He would ask Namjoon about why he’s sending all these photos and Namjoon will only reply that no reason, I thought you guys looked cute together.

It would sadden Jimin because they do look good together but they are not together-together. They would have made an amazing couple, Jimin knows. With Yoongi’s quiet behaviour and Jimin’s open personality, they would have balanced out each other so well. And they already know so much about each other, nothing would have been awkward. It could have happened if either one of them was a girl and they were not in the same group.

With new days, comes new schedules and responsibility and new shoots to produce. They still upload their RUN episodes even when they are away.

Jimin has taken upon himself to check the updates of each episode without the help of Namjoon. He has learnt the spelling of ‘Yoonmin’ and typed it in the search bar. With every episode being uploaded, there’s always a small part of their interactions that ARMYs have caught in the midst of everything. It makes him happy how attentive they are even to small things.

He sees a lot of them, he feels a lot of them. He doesn’t want to believe Yoongi likes him as well. He may pretend to be nice and funny in front of the cameras, but behind those, Yoongi is still same but yet so different. He carries himself quietly around the dorm and reprimands his younger for their wrongdoings. Then also, Yoongi fucking adores the maknae line and just generally his group as well. Jimin thinks, if given a situation, Yoongi might even die for his members. It’s no doubt Yoongi let the maknae line get away with their tricks, knowing that he will not really mind. But when they go out of line, Yoongi is in charge of scolding them.

So also, it’s no doubt, Yoongi has a favourite in the maknae line. Now it was very difficult to choose because he will actually, literally fucking die for Taehyung and he thinks of Jungkook as his own blood related younger brother and Jimin, well he’s in fucking love with him, get the hint. So Jimin is his favourite because he’s salty and biased.

Jimin particular doesn’t have a favourite. He just likes Yoongi a little too much than others and feels comfortable to let come out to his first. Probably because of Yoongi open mind and calmness, Jimin could trust him.

He thinks he should stop obsessing over him, clearly, nothing will come out of it. He and Yoongi can never end up together, maybe not in this life. But he believes that if there’s another life to him and Yoongi, then he prays that they do end up together happily, that they find each other and love each other for all the times they couldn’t.

It makes Jimin cries because how much he loves Yoongi but can’t really tell anyone. They’ll feel disgusted, cheated. For Jimin, it’s truly a selfish act, to fall in love with a group member and risk everyone’s career, the group’s career and the company’s career and it’s staff. It scares him how much damage it will do if he and Yoongi end up together. But that’s not possible.

This thing is, it started with the subtle push from members and constant stalking of the posts from ARMYs. He used to see a lot of videos made by ARMYs on YouTube, a compilation of Yoongi and Jimin together. It gave him hope and a surge of happiness, in an alternative universe, they are together.

The constant message from Namjoon, regarding any Yoonmin update, was the first step. At some point, Jimin wanted to feel angry and shout at Namjoon hyung for sending these photos because it wasn’t helping.

In the night, Hoseok would talk a lot about Yoongi, seeing as they are really close, Jimin felt jealous. He’s close to Yoongi as well, but not enough for certain secrets.

In the other room, Jin will talk about Jimin, he’ll praise him. He’ll tell about what went down in the practice room while Yoongi was in his studio, for some reason, he’ll mostly put emphasis on Jimin. Like Jimin pranked them, Jimin taught him some difficult steps, Jimin is a little shit but he’s adorable at times. Jimin wasn’t feeling well. Everything started with Jimin and ended with the thought of him, it didn’t help Yoongi sleep at night.

Jimin calls Taehyung his soulmate and he’s ought to share everything with his best friend. But he is scared to share about the fact that he’s in love with Yoongi because he fears that Taehyung will not accept him, hate him, be disgusted by him. But then Jimin feels that Taehyung is onto something like he knows something that Jimin is unaware of. He has been talking a lot about Yoongi, praising him and whatnot. He also has been very cryptic with his sentence and Jimin has come to accept that something is wrong with his members, now that he thinks about it, everybody has been talking a lot about Yoongi.

Jungkook has made his mission to always include Jimin and Yoongi together. He’ll make them sit together when they are out for dinner, he’ll make them stand together when they are, well…standing. Somehow he has a lot of stories regarding them both and Jimin doesn’t like it a bit when Jungkook exposes him like that in front of Yoongi.

On the other hand, Hoseok has not been very sly with his mission. He’d give that very cheeky smile and like he’s onto something as well, but not for long, Yoongi thinks, Hoseok really can’t keep secrets.

“Just tell me what’s going on,” One-day Yoongi has dragged him to his studio to talk about members weird behavior.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hoseok stutters and shrugs.

Yoongi brings out his intent stare to look at Hoseok. When the latter is under suspicion, he’ll open his mouth. The glare has always worked for Hoseok and someday Yoongi will feel bad using it like this, making Hoseok feel caught and vulnerable, but it’s not today.

Hoseok throws his hands up in surrender, “We know you like Jimin,” Then he immediately shuts his mouth when he sees Yoongi’s expression change from confusion to shock to solemn.

There’s no denying to it, everybody knows and he fears that Park Jimin knows as well, thus why he’s been very distant. He’s probably disgusted with Yoongi, he feels tainted, of course, he feels tainted.

“Jimin…he doesn’t know, we didn’t tell him,” Hoseok helpfully provides and Yoongi nods gratefully. He will take his confession to the grave and Park Jimin shouldn’t ever find out about this.

“You can go,” Yoongi says and turns back to his work. There’s nothing to say or do about the situation. So Yoongi likes Jimin but that doesn’t mean the latter likes him back. He can’t confess and damage the dynamic of the group and risk anything right now they are at the peak of success. He shouldn’t be selfish about his own fucking thoughts. “And tell the boys to stop whatever they are doing,” He finalises.

“Yoongi hyung, maybe you should talk to Jimin,” Hoseok says carefully and gets up. He pats Yoongi’s shoulder and sees himself out. Talk to Jimin? Hoseok must not understand the depth of the situation. He’s not worried about rejection, he has gotten many rejections in his life to be used to the word but rather he’s worried that something will change between them and it will be bad.

Jimin doesn’t deserve the burden of Yoongi’s feelings. The guy should be allowed to love anyone he wants without feeling the heavy weight of Yoongi’s confession. And Jimin has a lot to see, feel and experience. He shouldn’t be stopped by Yoongi’s feelings.

The thing about ignorance is that it is never ignored. The quote ‘ignorance is bliss’? Yeah, no. Yoongi doesn’t think ignorance is bliss, rather he thinks it’s a burden. He has been trying to ignore his feelings for the younger, but it always remains like an imprint highlighted point, mocking him, laughing at him for his cowardliness. He can’t do anything about it, he can’t even ignore it, it’s just there like an unwanted plague.

He asks the universe one chance to make it all right or all wrong. He wishes to go back to the day he even thought of Park Jimin more than a dongsaeng. He would have reprimanded his old self and told how there’s no luck and it’s only heartache. If it’s an all right option, then he wishes Jimin reciprocate his feeling and they have their own kind of happily ever after. Which is a wishful thinking. The latter option seems impossible.

Like Yoongi said, feelings cannot be ignored for long. They’ll fucking poke you until you do something about it. They are so vulnerable to attention and love, that they’ll make you vulnerable and do something out of way.

And that’s why things went downhill when Jimin collapsed while practising. Yoongi was in his studio completing, composing and doing what he knows best. While Jimin and Jin, tagging along Taehyung, practised at the studio on the lower floor. Jimin had come earlier to remind Yoongi that they are still in the building and if he’s leaving, he should not forget about them.

So Yoongi knew the trio are still practising while he works on some tunes. The heart attack comes in the form of a call. He sees Jin hyung’s ID and picks up nonchalantly, thinking they are leaving and so wanted to inform Yoongi.

But he hears pants and his series of his name only from the other line.

“Hyung, what happened?” Yoongi worriedly ask, thinking something went wrong downstairs.

“Jimin…,” He pants and Yoongi is already standing, “He collapsed,” It was enough information for Yoongi to sprint downstairs through darkness and reach the practice room.

He can hear his heartbeat in his ears when he sees Jimin lying completely still on the white floor, Jin and Taehyung surrounding him and fanning him. Yoongi makes his way towards them and slowly fall to his knees while the only thing he could hear was his heartbeat over Jin’s panicked explanation. Yoongi shakes Jimin violently and slaps his face a few times but nothing works.

In the end, they decided to call their Manager Sejin. The lesser people know, the better. They don’t need every staff right now and certainly not Band PD to find out Jimin collapsed again. Also, the rest of the boys shouldn’t worry right now, everybody is carrying an equal amount of worry over comeback, they don’t need to add more.

By the time Manager Sejin comes brusquely, Yoongi had moved Jimin to his studio with the help of Jin and Taehyung. Thankfully, Manager Sejin has brought the company doctor with him and he checks upon Jimin’s condition. All the while, Yoongi has let his guard down and held onto Jimin’s hand tightly and looked for any discomfort on his face.

The doctor blamed Jimin’s condition for his malnutrition and overwork. Jin said he’s been dieting to lose weight and that they were practising earlier. The doctor says he shouldn’t practice beyond his capabilities if he’s not going to eat anything. Manager Sejin asks Jin about Jimin’s eating habits.

Jin provides that he eats only in the morning before leaving and rest of the day, he is drinking water. It makes Yoongi’s heart clench with worry for the younger as he holds his hand tightly. The doctor sets him on portable IV for glucose and he asks them to feed him something before his vitamins supplements.

Manager Sejin walks outside with Doctor. Jin blames himself for Jimin’s condition because he’s older hyung, he should have said more, forced fed Jimin to eat and reprimanded him for not eating. It’s his fault because he asked Jimin to stay back for some extra practice, he should have known Jimin was tired and less in energy. But the younger has happily agreed to help Jin since Hoseok mostly took the responsibility of teaching everyone.

But somewhere, Yoongi thinks it’s his fault, he knew Jimin was dieting and he also knew the extent of it. He should have said something, stopped him. He should have taken care of him and should have been by him because it’s a critical time for everyone. He should’ve known how Jimin gets during comeback time.

Jin gets scolded by Manager Sejin not because he’s lacking and had to ask Jimin but that they failed taking care of each other. He reminded them that health is the first thing they should worry about rather than what they learn. If they are not healthy, they won’t be able to perform.

Yoongi requests them to leave Jimin and him in the office while Manager Sejin drops Jin and Taehyung. Even though Jin wanted to stay and reflect back, Yoongi assured him that Jimin is fine and he can go back home. Trusting Yoongi to take care of Jimin, they left with the promise of not telling anyone about this tonight.

Yoongi doesn’t stay by Jimin’s side but he checks upon him every 10 minutes, while he works to distract himself. He just has been feeling a lot of emotions right now and hearing that Jimin has collapsed only worsen it.

Jimin wakes up an hour later with a groan and Yoongi immediately swivel in his chair to face the younger. Jimin takes his time to adjust to the lightning and blinks hard for few minutes, he moves his head around and notices that he’s in Yoongi’s studio, very familiar now and that Yoongi is sitting and looking intently at him.

“H-hyung…,” His voice feels scratched due to not talking. Yoongi is immediately by his side with a water and helping him drink it. Jimin tries to sit up with the help of Yoongi while the IV is still attached.

They both sit in silence as Jimin breathes heavily and lays his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. It tenses him up but other than that, he feels okay, or so he thinks.

“What happened?” Jimin asks with a heavy voice.

“You tell me,” Yoongi ask back with no bite. He wants to be angry at younger for not taking care of himself but the concern is more overpowering right now.

“Are you mad at me?” Jimin hesitantly ask, sitting straight now and looking at Yoongi with big, apologetic eyes.

“This is not the first time, Jimin-ah. I’ve lost the count of it, you know?” Yoongi reminds him tiredly, “You apologise and promise each time but it keeps happening,” He shakes his head at the thought of how many times Jimin have collapsed in their career. It was scary each time.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin mumbles sadly and rest his hands on his lap. “I wanted to help Jin hyung,” He clarifies.

“It’s not about practice, it’s about you not eating,” Yoongi informs, scoffing with anger. “Whom are you trying to lose your weight for? Fans? They’ll love you even if you’re fat and if they can’t, then they are not fans,” He reminds him again. He forgets how many times they had this conversation.

Jimin just silently listens to Yoongi blow up gently on him. He doesn’t like that fact he has kept Yoongi from going home and he has worried everyone. Jimin felt fine before but he doesn’t know how he collapsed. He knows he’s not eating well and that’s not good for his health, but he can’t help himself. He wants to lose weight and be accepted by people. He has seen a lot of people suggesting that he could lose some weight for the next comeback. And even though their company denies and doesn’t want their artist to read such comments, Jimin can’t help himself.

“I wanted to be accepted,” Jimin mumbles, fidgeting with his fingers. He hears Yoongi sigh and shifts on the couch so they are facing each other. Yoongi brings his hands to cup Jimin’s face and lifts it. It feels a lot intimate now.

“You are,” Yoongi whispers. “Not everyone should accept you and you shouldn’t work hard for it. You should be glad that there are people who accept you the way you are,” Jimin has tears in his eyes while Yoongi speaks. He shifts closer to Yoongi to maybe hug him earnestly to let this feeling wash away, but Yoongi doesn’t allow. He wanted Yoongi to like him and notice him differently.

“Do you accept me?” Jimin asks, rubbing his eyes with tears to clearly see if Yoongi is nodding.

“Jimin…,”

“Do you, hyung?” He persists.

“I almost had a heart attack when I heard you collapsed again. It felt like the ground swept off of my feet, Jimin,” Yoongi will probably regret this later, but he needs Jimin to know how much he matters to him and that if everyone hates Jimin, he’ll be here, still loving him. He cups his face harder.

“I was scared…of losing you,” He confesses, “You mean a lot to me Jimin, more than you could think of. And I care about you a lot in the worst way possible, it’s unfair that way I always worry about you but I can’t help myself. I want to tell you a lot of things but I can’t, I just…I can’t,” Yoongi stops himself and drops his hands altogether, looking down at his lap. He feels dizzy with emotions. He’s so close to confessing but he feels scared. He thinks that if he confesses then this ignorance and regret won’t irritate him.

“Hyung…hyung please look at me,” Jimin desperately ask and Yoongi raises his head.

“I need to know what I mean to you,” He holds Yoongi’s hand tightly.

“You’ll hate me,” Yoongi refuses.

“I’ll hate you if you don’t tell me,” Jimin warns him lightly. It hurts Yoongi because either way, Jimin is going to hate him. It’s not fair, wanting to have someone but you can’t, being so close to someone yet so far.

Yoongi shakes his head no. He refuses, he believes that if he doesn’t tell then he’ll convince Jimin later to talk to him again. But if he does confess, then he will never be able to talk to Jimin.

“Want me to tell you what you mean to me?” Jimin says and Yoongi wants to hear but he doesn’t at the same time. Jimin doesn’t even give him an option, so he hears.

“I hate you,” Jimin sharply says and Yoongi closes his eyes, take his hands away from Jimin because this is it, Jimin knows. He knows and he hates Yoongi for putting him in this situation.

“Stop it,” He chokes out. He doesn’t want to hear the reasons, he has heard enough.

“No, you’ll hear me,” Jimin being the incessant brat he is, he takes his IV off and cups Yoongi’s cheek. “Listen to me, Yoongi,” He jaw is clenched with the tear in his eyes.

“I fucking hate you for making me miserable all these months. If you say you care about me, then why did you make me miserable?” Yoongi casts his eyes down and stops himself from crying. “I cried sleeping, knowing that I don’t mean anything to you-,”

“-that’s not true-,” Yoongi cuts him off.

“-and it fucking hurts, you jerk! All I wanted was for you to look at me and think differently for once, what do I have to do? I tried getting close to you but you pushed me away, do you know how that feels?” Instead of saying, Jimin hardly hits him on the shoulder. “Like that, it hurt that much.”

Yoongi bites his lips because he knew all the times Jimin tired to be together and he only pushed him away for his sanity.

With disregard to formality, Jimin continues, “I thought I was not enough, I tried to dress nicely, I tried to lose weight-I did-,” Jimin hiccups and cries, hands slipping down to Yoongi’s t-shirt. “You tell me that everyone accepts me then why can’t you accept me, hyung?” His voice sounded so vulnerable that Yoongi wanted nothing more to bring him closer and hug him.

“Do you…do you not like m-men now, is that it?” He hesitantly asks, “Do you hate me?”

“I could never,” Yoongi immediately say.

“Do you like me?”

Yoongi nods.

“Do you love me?”

Yoongi is hesitant as he clutches his hands harder. He doesn’t believe that it’s going to be this easy, it feels like a dream, no, a nightmare. It feels like God is playing pranks on him.

“Do you love me, Yoongi?” Jimin insists.

Yoongi stays quiet. Even if he confesses now, what then? They can’t be together. It’ll hurt them more.

“I love you,” Jimin confesses in the silence of the studio. It’s loud and clear and purposefully. Yoongi looks at Jimin’s face, red with anger and tears flowing through his eyes. Yoongi isn’t crying but the hint of tears remain in his lower lash line, making his eyes red and puffy. “Tell me,” Jimin hits his chest. “Tell me you love me back, I know you do, please tell me,” He hits his chest repeatedly until Yoongi holds both of his hands.

“I love you, Jiminie,” Yoongi says and presses a small kiss to his knuckles.

“Not like a dongsaeng?”

“No,” Yoongi confirms and Jimin scrambles to get closer to him and they hug. Jimin is almost on Yoongi’s lap, crying on his shoulder. “You don’t hate me?”

“I just told you I love you,” He retorts.

“You’re not disgusted?”

“Why would I be disgusted if I love you?” Jimin scrunches his nose up and moves back to look at Yoongi. “I’ve been in love with you for months, hyung, why would I be disgusted now?” He cups Yoongi’s face and rests his forehead against Yoongi’s. “I’ve only dreamt of this moment and I thought it will remain like that,” Jimin weakly chuckles. They are close enough for their lips to brush slightly and Yoongi knows that it’s all Jimin taking steps, moving his head closer by seconds.

“Jimin,” Yoongi tries to move back but Jimin holds him there, “We can’t-,”

“Don’t tell me no when you’ve already confessed, Yoongi! Don’t take me to heaven and drop me to the pits of hell. I love you and you love me, isn’t that enough now?” He asks angrily and moves back to look at the uncertainty in his eyes.

“You know why we can’t,” And Jimin does know and yeah, he might be ignorant, he can’t help but be selfish for once, for once putting himself above every responsibility, every thought that’s not his.

“I want to be with you, hyung,” Jimin cries and Yoongi pulls him closer and kisses his forehead and whispers I know, I know, “Please, for once let’s forget what others say. Let’s focus on each other, you make me happy. I will do whatever you want, just love me this once, please,” Yoongi knows it’s not that Jimin is desperate to seek attention, to be loved but it’s not because he’s like that. He knows it’s different this time.

“Okay…okay,” Yoongi agrees. They have a lot to think about, there’s a lot more risk than it’s worth. But Yoongi knows it’s all worth, it’s all worth even when they’ll get shoutings, be degraded and probably get thrown out, be hated on but it’s all worth if he has Jimin now.

They just revel in each other, just hugging and finding comfort in it. They always hug but it’s never this intimitate. Once Jimin has calm down, he moves away from Yoongi to look at his face and the older smile in reassurance. They’ll be okay because they have each other.

“Now, if you’re done being dramatic and taking off your IV, can you please eat something? I need to give you some vitamins supplements,” Yoongi gets up to take the tablets from his table but Jimin stops him.

“No, focus on me only,” He petulantly say.

“I am, Jiminie,” Yoongi brushes his hair away, “You should eat and rest up, we’ll see what to do tomorrow,” He smiles and gets up to leave to bring some food.

He thinks a lot while he brings food for Jimin. They have a lot to do and Jimin is right, they can’t just ignore their feelings after confessing.

Jimin eats in silence while Yoongi looks at him throughout. He likes the attention so he doesn’t mind Yoongi’s gaze. Once he’s done, Yoongi hands him his vitamins and water. He drinks it and makes himself comfortable on the couch. By that, he lays down on the small couch while Yoongi sits on the coffee table and brushes Jimin’s hair.

“You said you’ll do anything,” Yoongi reminds him when Jimin is on the verge of sleeping. The younger boy nods.

“Don’t collapse anymore,” He opens his eyes to look at Yoongi and take in his request. “You have to eat well. I don’t care if you grow in size, I will still love you, I accept you however you are,” Jimin smiles at him.

“I won’t,” He promises and takes out his pinky. Yoongi chuckles and links their pinky.

“Sleep now,” He orders softly. He leans down to kiss his forehead softly, staying there for a few seconds before moving back to stand up and work. But Jimin holds his hand before Yoongi could so much as move away.

“Can we-,” Jimin doesn’t finish and looks at a Yoongi’s lips. He smiles and kneels down so he can kiss Jimin without any problem. It should be awkward seeing as they are group mates and they always had hyung-dongsaeng relation but it’s fine now. Their heart thumps loudly but they are fine now.

Yoongi softly takes Jimin’s bottom lips between his lips and kiss him. Jimin doesn’t do anything on his own and let Yoongi take the lead. It’s a small kiss, no tongue involved whatsoever. They move back when both have to breathe and smile giddily at each other. To be honest, it doesn’t feel awkward.

“You’ve spoiled me with one kiss, what to do now?” Jimin sings songs and traces Yoongi’s bottom lip.

“Brat,” Yoongi smiles and flicks his ear before stealing one more kiss and threatening that he won’t kiss him if Jimin doesn’t fall asleep.

It’s going to be a chaotic ride from now on with secrecy and love, but they’ll manage. After all, they are good at hiding, whether it be their feeling for each other or their love from others. They are fine and in love.

Once it gets morning, Yoongi will confess to Jimin again and hear it back, just because he knows it’s real now.

Once it gets morning, Yoongi will thank his band members for pushing them not so subtly and for accepting them as they are, that is, in love.

Once it gets morning, Yoongi will have to thank the ARMYs secretively for their hard work. If it’s wasn’t for them, Yoongi wouldn’t have recognized his feelings for Jimin. He hopes that they understand what he means, after all, it was mostly ARMYs playing the Cupid in their relationship.

* * * To the anon who sent me this plot, I got inspiration from that. And I know your prompt doesn’t match with this, but I promise I’ll write once again and bring something from it. Thank you for the prompt.

To others…it was an emotional ride, wasn’t it? ALL HAIL FOR OUR YOONMIN FANCLUB PRESIDENT, MR KIM NAMJOON! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[sarahisgay01]

Can you write something like

Nancy low key dom + Robin + reader.

And if you don't mind reader could be a girl with some bad body images like she was a little overweight when she was younger but now is just not super fit but ok. On her body there are some stretch marks and a little bit of skin in excess. She's embarrassed by that but Nancy and Robin knows how to deal with it 😏

Sorry for beeing so specific.

Thanks in advance!

No need to apologize, I loveeeeeee this request!!🥰

I hope you like it!!😊💖

Minors DNI (18+ Only!!!!)

You’re Beautiful, Sweet Girl

Robin x Soft Dom!Nancy x Fem!Reader

Part 2:

You, Robin, and Nancy went shopping at the mall earlier today. Robin didn’t buy anything, she just carried yours and Nancy’s bags. When you and Nancy were done shopping, the three of you went back to her house. Nancy started sorting through her bags and said, “Oh! (Y/N)! We should try on the stuff we got and have a little fashion show for Robin!” Your face got red and you looked down at the ground. Both girls noticed something was wrong, but Nancy really noticed when you started picking at your fingers. She knew that you only did that when you were anxious or upset. She walks over to you and grabs one of your hands and asks, “Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” You just nodded, your head still down, not wanting to look up at the beautiful girl who was in front of you. All you could think about is how much you wanted a body like hers or a body like Robin’s. You hated your body, you were chubby as a kid and never really grew out of it. Now, every time you look at yourself, all you see are your stretch marks. Your stomach, your waist, and your thighs all had stretch marks. You hated them and you hated your body. Nancy took her index finger and her thumb and lightly grabbed your chin to push it up, so you were eye level with her. When she looked into your eyes, she said, “(Y/N), you look like you’re about to cry, what’s wrong?” When Robin hears what Nancy said she stands up and moves over to the foot of the bed, wanting to be closer to you, but not crowd you. You mumble, “I just- I don’t like changing in front of people, that’s all.” Robin said in a sweet tone, “(Y/N), if it’s cause you think we’ll judge you for something, we would never.” You say, “No, no, it’s not that. I just- I don’t like my body, so I prefer not to change in front of people.” Robin and Nancy look at each other and say, “Oh.” Then Robin blurts out, “What don’t you like about your body?” and seconds later says, “Shit! (Y/N), I’m sorry! I spoke before I thought again. You don’t have to answer that.” You said, “No, Rob, it’s okay. When I was a kid, I was really chubby, more than I am now. So, I have stretch marks and I hate them, they make me feel so ugly.” Robin said in her sweet tone, “(Y/N), you’re so beautiful, like so beautiful. Actually, you’re beyond beautiful! I’m not just saying that either, I mean it, really!” Then Nancy says, “Robin’s right, (Y/N), you’re so beyond beautiful. Also stretch marks are definitely not ugly and neither are you.” Robin says, “Yeah, stretch marks aren’t ugly, (Y/N).” When Robin says that, she looks at Nancy who’s already looking at her. She has a grin on her face and Robin knows exactly what she’s thinking and nods. After the small pause, you say, “You two are the only ones who seem to think so. Everyone wants skinny girls and I’ll- I’ll never be- I’ll never be that.” You start crying and Nancy holds you, she says, “Hey! Hey! (Y/N) it’s okay! We’ve got you, we’ve got you. You’re so beautiful, (Y/N), so beautiful. It’s okay.” Nancy holds you until you stop crying and you mumble, “Th- Thank you, guys.” Then Nancy goes and lays down on her bed and Robin goes back to the chair at Nancy’s desk. You stand there and Nancy pats the spot next to her for you to come lay down. You and Nancy are laying there for about 20 minutes just relaxing. Robin’s making you laugh from the other side of the room, while Nancy’s playing with your hair, trying to relax you. The only problem is, Nancy can’t get the look her and Robin gave each other about half an hour ago out of her head.

Nancy looks at you and asks, “Uhhh- (Y/N), can I- can I ask you something?” You nod and say, “Mhmmm. What’s up, Nance?” Nancy’s face turns a bright shade of pink and asks, “Uh- have you um- have you ever had sex with anyone?” You look up shocked at the forwardness of her question. Your face turns bright red and you look down, shaking your head no. You mumble, “Nobody’s ever uh- nobody’s ever wanted to.” Nancy grins and says, “Well, if you want to and trust us, Robin and I could be your firsts. We want to show you how beautiful you are, (Y/N), because you are, so beautiful.” You looked up at Nancy, your eyes are wide and then you look over at Robin, who’s nodding her head. She says, “Yeah! God, (Y/N) you’re so hot and your body, fuck your body has to be so hot underneath your clothes.” You look back at Nancy and say, “Are you guys sure?” Nancy smiles and says “Mhmmm, very. We both find you incredibly attractive. What about you? Are you sure?” You nod and say, “Y- Yeah, I want to, so much. I’m just- I’m nervous.” Nancy takes her hands and cups your face. She says, “It’s okay, sweet girl. Robin and I will take care of you and whenever you feel uncomfortable, you can tell us to stop at any time.” You blushed at the nickname and mumbled an “Okay.”

Nancy smiled and said, “(Y/N), can I kiss you?” You nodded your head, but noticed Nancy didn’t lean in. She said, “Use your words for me, sweet girl.” You choked out a “Y- Yes please.” Nancy smiled and said, “Good girl” and then kissed you. Her lips were soft and sweet, they tasted like vanilla. As you were kissing you heard Robin move over closer to the bed. She started running her fingers up and down your calves, trying to calm down any nervous energy you had. Nancy released from the kiss and said, “God, (Y/N) your lips are so soft and sweet. Was that okay?” You nodded and said, “mhmmm very okay, Nance. Very very okay and your lips are, wow.” She smiles and you can see Robin out of the corner of your eye giggling. Nancy says, “Robin, stop laughing and kiss her.” Robin comes up closer to you and says, “Is it okay if I kiss you, (Y/N)?” You smile, nod your head, and say, “Yeah, Rob. Please.” She gently kisses you and her lips weren’t as soft, but you loved them. They tasted like cherry and you wanted more. You pushed your lips harder against hers until she got the message. She licked your bottom lip and you opened your mouth. Robin slipped her tongue inside and you loved the way it felt. She moves her tongue back into her mouth and kisses your lips before pulling her head back. She looked over at Nancy and said, “Holy shit, Nance! You were right and god (Y/N) you’re such a good kisser.” You blush and mumble out “Th- Thank you.” Nancy says, “Can I kiss you again?” You nod and say, “Please do.” She cups your cheeks again and kisses you, slower and more intimate than your kiss with Robin. She gently bit your bottom lip and you let out a small moan. She moved down to your neck and found a tender spot to suck on that made you moan slightly louder. You loved that she was leaving a slight mark on your neck. When she released, she looked up at you and asked, “Was that okay?” You replied, “God, yes.” She went and hovered over your neck and said, “Your moans are so beautiful, sweet girl.” Robin nods and says, “Mhmmm. So hot, pretty girl.” You blush at the nickname and you went to say thank you, but before you could, Nancy started sucking on your neck again. A louder moan escaped your mouth instead and Robin said, “Fuck, (Y/N) you’re so hot.” Then she puts her hand on your thigh and says, “Is this okay?” You give her a thumbs up and she starts rubbing her thumb up and down over your skirt. Nancy’s working her way down your neck and she reaches the material of your shirt. She moves her head up, so she looking you in your eyes and she asks, “(Y/N), you trust us, right?” You reply, “Of- Of course.” She smiles and says, “Okay. Is it okay if I take off your shirt?” You were frozen and you looked between the both of them and slowly nodded. Nancy said, “Pretty girl I want to hear your words. I know it’s hard, but please tell me.” You gulped and said, “you can- you can take it off.” Nancy smiles and says, “good girl, (Y/N). Such a good girl for us.” You let out a little moan at the praise and Nancy grins. She looks at Robin and says, “I think our sweet girl likes to be praised, Rob.” Robin grins and says, “I think so too, Nance. Our pretty good girl.” You let out a high pitched hum and the two girls smiled. Nancy grabbed the ends of your shirt and slowly pulled it up and over your head, before throwing it to the floor.

You tried to cover your body with your arms, but Robin grabbed one wrist and Nancy grabbed the other. You looked at their faces and they were smiling with their eyes glued to you. Robin said, “Holy shit! (Y/N) you’re so beautiful! Oh my god!” Nancy follows up and says, “Sweet girl, don’t cover your body! It’s beautiful, you’re beautiful.” They both let go of your wrists and you no longer feel the need to cover your stomach. Nancy took off her shirt and you felt like your eyes were about to pop out of your head. Your mouth dropped and your eyes were glued to her chest. She smiled and went a step further and unclasped her bra. You could not stop staring and Nancy said, “Touch them, pretty girl.” You didn’t need to be told twice. You took both your hands and placed them on her breasts and kneaded them. She threw her head back and moaned, “Fuck, (Y/N) that feels so good.” You start lightly pinching her nipples and rubbing your fingers over them. She’s moaning loudly and you can hear Robin trying to contain her moans and maintain her self control. Nancy says, “Robin come play with our sweet girl.” Robin shot up, unsure about where to go exactly. She said, “(Y/N), is it okay if I sit behind you and you’ll sit in between my legs? Then Nancy can straddle you.” You say, “Fuck, Robin. That sounds so good, yes please.” She smiles as you get off of Nancy’s bed, so she can position herself. When she nods and says, “come here pretty girl.” You blush and sit in between her legs, then Nancy comes and straddles your lap. Robin’s positioned herself and is tall enough to see your chest. Nancy says, “Sweet girl, is it okay if Robin takes off your bra?” You nod your head quickly and say, “P- Please, Rob.” Nancy smiles and says, “Good girl for using your words.” Then she looks at Robin and says, “Baby, be a good girl and take off, (Y/N)’s bra.” Robin nods and says, “Yes, Nance.” Robin’s hand touch your bare skin and she let out a small moan at the touch. As she was unclasping your bra, she said, “(Y/N) you’re so beautiful” and then she kissed your neck. Then she lightly bit a spot and you let out a moan. You felt Robin’s smile against your neck from the moan you let out and seconds later your bra was being pulled off.

Nancy said, “Oh my god, (Y/N)! Your boobs are so beautiful and hot. Fuck you’re so hot, sweet girl.” Robin stops kissing your neck and looks down and moans. She wraps her arms under yours and says, “(Y/N), can I touch them? Please. Fuck you’re so hot. Please.” You nod and say, “Please, Rob.” Robin looks at Nancy and says, “Can I Nance, please?” She smiles and says, “Whatever our pretty girl asks us to do for her, that’s what we’ll do, baby.” You can feel her excitement and Nancy says, “but just remember, baby, I’ll be fucking you tonight no matter what.” Robin moans and replies back, “Y- Yes, O- Okay, Nance.” The moan that was practically in your ear caused you to bite your lip and squirm. Nancy said, “Oh? Pretty girl, did you like when Robin moaned in your ear? You like Robin’s pretty moans?” You nodded your head and mumbled, “Y- Yes.” Nancy grins at you and kisses you. Robin takes her hands and starts playing with your nipples. You breakaway from Nancy’s kiss and moan into her mouth. Robin moans from the feeling of your breasts in her hand. She says, “Fuck, (Y/N) you’re so hot.” You start getting really squirmy, feeling her breath on your neck, her hands on your breasts, and your lips on Nancy’s. Nancy puts more of her weight on your hips and says, “Patience sweet girl, we’ll get there. Just sit still for me, can you be a good girl and sit still?” Right as you’re about to answer, Robin pinches both of your nipples and you moan out a broken, “Y- es.” Nancy giggles and says, “I see someone is enjoying themselves.” You nod and Nancy gets off your lap, you look at her confused until she looks at Robin. Nancy says, “(Y/N), I want you to straddle Robin’s lap for me. Is that okay?” You look worried, you’re scared you’re going to hurt her. You look at Nancy and then at Robin. Robin says, “There’s nothing to worry about, pretty girl.” You look back at Nancy and say, “O- Okay, yeah, that’s okay.” Then Nancy looks at Robin and says, “Rob, take off your shirt for our sweet girl.” As soon as you are facing her completely, she makes eye contact with you while taking off her shirt. When she takes it off, you realize she wasn’t wearing a bra. Your eyes fall onto her chest and your mouth is wide open. She smiles and giggles, “You can do more than stare at them, (Y/N).” Normally you’d roll your eyes or say something clever, but your brain couldn’t even think like that right now. You reach your hands out and play with her nipples, she moans and you start squirming on her lap. You feel some friction on your clit as you move against Robin’s jeans and you moan loudly. Robin grabs your hips and you jump, she moves her hands down and says “Shit, (Y/N), I’m sorry!” You smile and say, “No, Robin, you’re fine. I’m just not used to it, that’s all.” Then you grab her hands and hesitantly place them back on your waist. Nancy, who is watching, smiles as she sees you’re becoming more comfortable with them, but also, your body.

Robin continues to guide your hips, helping you ride her thigh. Both of your moans filling the room as you played with her nipples. Nancy said, “(Y/N), be a good girl for me and lay on your back.” You nodded and did as she instructed you to do, Nancy said, “Good girl, (Y/N).” Then Nancy looked at Robin and said, “You know what to do baby.” She nodded and pushed your legs apart so she could sit on her heels in between them. She leaned down and kissed you, then moved down to your neck. She also found a tender spot like the one Nancy found earlier and sucked on it, hard. You moaned out, “Fuck, Robin!” and you could feel her grin against your neck. Nancy said, “I think our sweet girl is enjoying herself, Rob.” She smiled and continued kissing down your body, until she got a little under your collar bone. She stopped and looked at you, she asked, “(Y/N) is it okay if I go further down?” You were so aroused right now and just wanted her to continue. You said, “Yes, Rob. Please keep going, please!” Nancy giggles and says, “Someone is really needy, hmmm?” You nod and Nancy says, “Rob, be a good girl and make our pretty girl feel good.” Robin looks you right in the eyes and says, “Oh, I plan on it. Your body’s so beautiful, I don’t think I can wait any longer to get my tongue on it.” You moan at Robin’s words and then she kissed in between your breasts.

Her kiss covers your body in goosebumps and then you feel her pointed tongue flick your nipple. She looked up as she did it to see your reaction and you whined. She said, “Mmmm Nance, she’s so sensitive. (Y/N), you’re so hot and your moans are so fucking beautiful. Holy shit.” You whine out, “Rob, more, please. Need more.” She rewards you by continuously flicking your nipple with her pointed tongue. Nancy says, “Such a good girl, using your words.” You moan out a broken, “Fu- ck” and then Robin switches over to your other nipple and gives it the same attention. After a few minutes, she takes your entire nipple into her mouth and sucks on your breast. You moan her name loudly and your hips buck up. Nancy takes her hand and runs it up and down your calf and says, “Soon, sweet girl. Be a good girl for us and let Robin make you feel good.” You couldn’t even respond, you were moaning too much. Seconds later, Robin moves to your other breast, doing everything like she did on the other one. When she released this time, she lightly bit your nipple and you made a sound that sounded like a whine mixed with a moan. She kissed down to your stomach and she felt you tense up and Nancy could see your eyes widen with anxiety. Both girls grabbed one of your hands, Nancy held one and rubbed her thumb over your knuckles. Robin grabbed the other and looked into your scared eyes. She said, “(Y/N), you are so beautiful. These stretch marks are beautiful.” Then she kissed the areas where you had stretch marks, each and every spot. When she was done, she said, “You are so beautiful.” You were tearing up, trying your best not to cry, a couple tears fell and Nancy noticed. She moved closer to you and wiped your tears. She said, “It’s okay, sweet girl. We’ve got you.” Robin looked up and her eyes fell into a loving look. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at your smile while you cried because you finally felt like someone appreciated your body, let alone two people. Nancy says, “(Y/N), we can stop here if you want we don’t-” You interrupted her and said, “No, please don’t stop! I just couldn’t control it, nobody’s ever said or done anything like that. I’ve just- I’ve never felt loved and appreciated like that.” Nancy gives you a kiss on your forehead and says, “It’s okay, sweet girl. I know it’s a lot, but if you want us to continue, we will.” You nodded and said, “Please continue, please.” Nancy nodded and looked at Robin, she said, “Rob, continue making our pretty girl feel good.” Robin nodded and said, “Mhmm. Anything for our sweet girl.” You hummed and then you felt Robin’s lips kiss down your stomach. Nancy kissed your forehead and said, “(Y/N), is it okay if Robin takes off your skirt?” You nod and say “Fuck, yes please. Please, Rob.” Robin didn’t need to be told twice, she took the waistband of your skirt with both her hands and Nancy said, “Be a good girl for Robin and lift your hips.” You did and you felt your skirt slowly get pulled down your legs, until it was gone.

You tried to close your legs, but Robin opened them and gasped. She said, “Holy shit, (Y/N), you’re so wet. Fuck, you just keep getting hotter and hotter. Nance, you gotta come see this!” Nancy excitedly gets up and says, “Holy shit, sweet girl. Is that all for us?” Your face was bright red and you said, “Mhmmm.” Nancy climbed up to your face and kissed you, slowly and intimately as Robin kissed you up your thigh. When she got higher up, she started leaving marks, making you moan into Nancy’s mouth. You started bucking your hips, you needed to be touched, but Robin wasn’t done. She did the same thing to the other thigh, but this time when she finished, she planted a kiss to your clothed clit. You threw your head back and a loud high pitched moan escaped from your mouth. Nancy said, “Sweet girl, do you want Robin to take off your panties?” You started nodding rapidly, “Please! Please touch me, please.” Nancy got off of you and moved to the side next to you. Then she said, “Okay, (Y/N), be a good girl and lift your hips for her.” You did and you felt Robin grab the waistband of your panties and pull them down.

As she pulled them down, she let out a breathy moan and said “God, (Y/N), you have such a pretty pussy. Can I- Can I taste you?” You started nodding rapidly again and said, “Robin you can do whatever you want, please just touch me. Please!” You beg Robin and Nancy gets close to your lips and whispers, “Mmmm I love how needy you are, pretty girl.” Then she connects her lips with yours and seconds later you feel Robin’s tongue lick up your wetness from the bottom of your entrance, up to your clit. You moan into Nancy’s mouth as she continues to kiss you. Robin hums in pleasure and says, “You taste so good, sweet girl.” Nancy releases from the kiss and turns around to look at Robin. She says, “Baby, give me a taste.” Robin pops her head up and kisses Nancy. Nancy puts her tongue inside Robin’s mouth and they swirl their tongues around. Nancy releases from the kiss and goes back to facing you. She leans to your ear and whispers, “You taste so sweet, pretty girl. I can’t wait to taste some more, soon.” Then she lightly nips your ear and you let out a breathy moan. She positions herself next to you, she wants Robin to hear all the noises you’re going to make for her.

Robin points her tongue and starts to slowly lick your clit in tight circles. You moan out, “Fuck, so good, Rob. Keep going.” She hums and you felt the vibration on your clit and it made your hips buck up. She started picking up her pace gradually, the faster she went, the more your legs started to shake. After a couple minutes, you were so close and both Robin and Nancy could tell. Nancy said, “Are you close, sweet girl?” and hummed a “mhmmm.” Nancy looked down at Robin and said, “Make our pretty girl cum, baby.” Robin did just that, she picked up her pace, moving her tongue up and down on your clit. Your legs started to spasm and you choked out a scream of Robin’s name, “Ro- bin!” Then you came, Robin continued licking your clit, letting you ride your orgasm. She stopped when Nancy tapped her head. Robin looked at you and said, “(Y/N) you’re so hot” and all you could do was smile. Nancy and Robin gave you time to allow you to catch your breath. Then Nancy got off the bed and said, “Rob, sit with (Y/N) how you were earlier, with her in between your legs.” Robin nodded and said, “Yes, Nance.” Then she positioned herself the way Nancy asked her too and Nancy said, “Good girl, Rob. Always such a good girl for me and you were such a good girl for our sweet girl.” She let out a high pitched “mhmmm” and Nancy said, “Don’t hide your moans from (Y/N), baby. She likes your pretty moans, don’t you, pretty girl?” You nodded your head and hummed, “mhmmm, I do.” You felt Robin squirm against you and Nancy said, “Baby, be a good girl for me and wait.” She nodded and said, “Yes, Nance.” She grinned and then looked at you and said, “(Y/N), can I taste you?” You nodded and said, “Please, Nance.” That’s all it took for Nancy to crawl onto the bed and put her head between your legs.

Nancy looked at your pussy and said, “Wow, Rob. You were right our sweet girl does have a pretty pussy.” You whined, you needed to be touched. You started begging, “Please Nance! Please touch me! Please!” Nancy slowly licked from the bottom of your entrance to your clit, then gave your clit a kiss before moving her head slightly back. You moaned and threw your head back, but this time you were met with Robin’s gaze. She said, “Fuck, your moans are so hot, (Y/N).” Then she looks down at Nancy and says, “She tastes so good, doesn’t she Nance?” Nancy hums against your clit and you buck your hips. Then she looks at you and says, “Can I finger you, pretty girl?” You moan at the thought of her fingers inside you and nod your head rapidly, repeating “Please” over and over again until you feel her middle finger slip inside you with ease. She says, “Fuck, you’re so wet, (Y/N).” You whine and it turns into a loud moan as Nancy begins moving her finger, in and out, in and out. Robin can’t control herself, she takes her hands and starts kneading your breasts and you moan louder. The feeling of her hands on your breasts makes her moan into your ear, “Fuck, sweet girl. You’re so beautiful, so so beautiful.” You get close quickly, Robin’s moans, her words, and Nancy’s finger, all getting you wound up. When Nancy feels your walls start to tighten, she slips a second finger inside you. You moan out, “Close, Nance. So close.” Then she curls her fingers inside you, hitting your special spot and you scream out “Fuck, Nance!” as you came all over her fingers. She fingers you through your orgasm and then says, “Sweet girl, I’m not done with you yet.” You look at her and she moves her head closer towards your dripping pussy.

She kisses your clit and then wraps her lips around it. You moan as she begins to suck on your clit and Robin still kneads your breasts. Then Robin starts sucking on your neck and you feel like you’re in a whole different world. Your mouth is open, but all that comes out are broken moans. Your legs are moving out of your control, spasming from overstimulation. You have your hands on Robin’s thighs, gripping them tight. It doesn’t take you very long to get close again and this time, when you cum, your eyes roll back, you throw your head back into Robin’s chest, and your moans are cracked and high pitched. Robin moves her hands away and Nancy slows down the sucks on your clit. She helps you ride out your orgasm, then removes her mouth smiling. She waits about 30 seconds and then slowly slips her fingers out of you. You whine at the emptiness and look at Nancy, who makes eye contact with you while slipping her fingers soaked with your cum into her mouth. She hums at the taste and says, “Mmmm so good, our sweet girl.” Then Robin kisses your forehead.

Nancy says, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you a towel.” You nod, you can’t speak, you’re too overstimulated and fucked out. Nancy comes back with the towel and smiles at your blissed out state. She says, “Do you want me to clean you up, pretty girl?” You smile and nod. Nancy was super gentle, making sure not to hurt you or overstimulate you. As soon as she’s done, you roll over onto your side and face Robin. She smiles at your blissed out state, just like Nancy did. You pull her arm down and she giggles. She says, “You want to cuddle, sweet girl?” You nod your head and let out a small whine. She says, “Okay, pretty girl. Move over to the edge of the bed, so I can lay in the middle and Nancy can cuddle on the other side. You move to the edge and then Robin positions herself flat on her back. You cuddle into her, your hand placed on her bare stomach. Nancy comes and cuddles into Robin as well and plays with your fingers. Robin gave the top of your head a kiss and just like that, you fell asleep. When Nancy and Robin heard you start heavy breathing, they looked at each other and Robin whispered, “Nance, I love you.” Nancy smiled and said, “I love you too, but I know you have something else you want to say.” Robin looks down at you and back at Nancy who’s still smiling. She whispers, “I love you, but I also love her. I love us, Nance.” Nancy still had a smile on her face and whispered, “Me too, Rob. When she wakes up, do you want to talk to her about it?” Robin nods and gives Nancy a kiss on her head. Nancy looks up at her and grins, she whispers, “Don’t forget what I told you earlier, baby” and giggles as Robin tries to hold in a whine. Nancy just nuzzles her head closer into Robin’s chest. Both girls looked at you, all of you, head to toe, and smiled. They’re both so in love with you, each and every inch of you.

This accidentally turned SUPER smutty really fast, but uhhhh yeah. I hope you liked it😊

[sin-sidejob]

Love your writing! Could you do some headcanons for Nostalgia Max! Brett?

Nostalgia Max!Brett Hand x GN!Reader:

Warnings: canon typical violence/shenanigans, childhood trauma, family trauma, bad childhood, canon backstory + some additional opinions and insight

Content: a lil angsty ig? SFW and more general headcanons rather than anything super specific or

- okay so he’s always been lovable himbo, not a thought in his brain, but Nostalgia Max Brett? Thoughts be rolling.

- this is all with the context or at least pretense that Brett didn’t take over that town and trapped the gang in the 80’s — BUT I’m going to work the concept of him still having the powers and using them or being affected by them

- watching Brett getting taken over by whatever chemicals and chem trails were within the Nostalgia Max brew was frightening, deeply and concerning, setting that chill through your bones like an ice cube rattling in your spinal column.

- you were so relieved when Reagan got him to calm down and go back to normal, or - well, at least what you thought was normal. The lot of you head back to work afterwards, tired and ready for sleep in the modern age and tired of feeling like you got trapped as extras in a Stranger Things episode.

- except you don’t go home just yet, you’re fretting over Brett who insists he’s fine and feeling okay but his eyes are twinkling green, swirling neon hues of emerald and peridot unnerving you. You and Reagan take him down to her lab, letting her run tests as you pace back and forth and warily eye the still-displayed parts of Robotus that linger on the walls, trying to calm before you roll yourself into a panic attack.

- turns out he’s fine, no radiation threats or concerns to worry about, but he’s now got powers. So much for halting that Stranger Things feeling. Brett and Reagan don’t know how they’ll manifest, but it’s something time will demonstrate. For now he gets to go home and he doesn’t go to his, he goes back to yours, shushing your worries and holding you close.

- that glint in his eyes fades away from the forefront of your mind, other worries and occupational concerns taking place until you’re all on another ill fated fieldtrip and off doing something else for the company, and you get held up in the crossfire. There’s a series of guns pointed at you, sadly not the first nor last time this occurs, but disheartening nonetheless.

- Everyone’s trying to calm down the situation and make sure you get out unscathed and nobody realizes Brett’s panicking until he’s not anymore. He’s eerily calm and staring straight ahead with fists clenched, Reagan goes to grab his shoulder to talk about how to get you out but she’s met with those acid green eyes, like green apple candy, and a cold expression so neutral it’s unnatural on Brett’s usually grinning visage.

- it’s so fucked it’s just beyond

- he just waves a hand and this glow, that watery green that looks like seepage straight from a nuclear reactor cooling pond, just whips in a wet thwick that sends necks angled cruelly, snapped with as much ease as breaking a pencil, and guns clattering to the ground.

- Brett’s blinking blearily before shaking his head, hair that was once floating now resting back on his head in a disheveled style as he races towards you and envelops you in his arms, making sure you’re okay and unscathed.

- meanwhile Glenn’s using every single southernism cursing phrase he knows, confused to all fuck, Andre and Myc are just both entertained and mindfucked thinking they roofied again, Gigi’s popping an antacid and a sedative muttering about how she should’ve got to work for the Illuminati, and Reagan’s going around to inspect the crooked bodies and talking to herself as she makes notes aloud, wondering just how this power has manifested.

- Reagan does find it very fitting that the powers manifested in a time of great stress, the second you were put in danger. God is he an utter fucking himbo.

- it’s not a power Brett can fully control, it kinda sets him into a subconscious state where it’s not a part of his mind that’s fully aware, but it’s sparked by very strong emotions, threats, and feelings of danger around him or directed at him. He likes to joke he’s got a nostalgia-sense instead of a spidey-sense but you’re still reeling and wondering why he’s now just a bit more attractive. (it’s the messy hair you’d never seen it, plus he killed for you and that’s also something)

[littlemissnoname13]

Wanderlust, Wonder if it’s lust? (D.M.)

Summary: You book a vacation for you and your boyfriend when you were together. It seemed like a great idea at the time but Now you are forced to go on a trip with you ex because the trip is non refundable.

Pairing: Draco x Female!reader in a modern AU.

Warnings: mature themes explored, mature language used, there is a brief sex scene but it’s not very graphic. Please be weary of it though and read at your own discretion.

Words: 3200 (it’s a lengthy one, I’m sorry.)

A/n: writing this was an immersive experience. I wrote the first half while booking my own trip and I wrote the second half at a quaint little town spilling with art galleries and antique shops. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. X

Masterlist

A quick google search reveals Information she already knows.

Non-refundable (adj): not repayable or returnable in any circumstance.

When you are in love, words like forevermore sound so simple and uncomplicated.

Promises seem to roll off your tongue with the same minimal effort and nonchalant ease as spreading softened butter on toast.

When you are in love, your significant other fits you like a soft body hugging dress that you wear to every occasion because nothing ever goes wrong in that dress. Rain or shine, bachelorette party, brunch or your worst hangover—your dress is your one true north. It makes you look and feel like the best version of yourself. Much like he does.

And in those times, you don’t care for refunds or returns.

Why would you want a refund on a love that hugs all your curves, keeps you warm on cold days and makes you feel beautiful on your bad days, anyway?

There is no point demanding a cash back on it, nor asking for a discount because love is supposed to last a lifetime and beyond.

That is exactly what she thought when she booked a seven day trip with her ex boyfriend.

Now, as she reclines against one of those many uneasy little chairs at the airport lounge, she begins to regret ever paying for this stupid trip. It had taken her five whole paychecks but at the time it seemed like it was worth it.

She googled all the possible synonyms for the word “non-refundable” one last time to make sure there aren’t any loopholes she can possibly exploit to get her money back. Times are rough, inflation is high and her student loan is crushing her soul.

She simply can’t afford to not go on this trip with the little shit.

The flight is delayed for another two hours and Draco is still nowhere to be seen. She thinks it’s a good sign. At Least she can have all the Piña coladas for herself.

“I hate Piña coladas.” His voice slices through the noise of the bustling airport like a sharp blade. Every fiber of her body reacts in a way that can only be described as muscle memory.

She looks up to find him looming in front of her in dark washed jeans and a plain white t-shirt that hugs tightly on his biceps. He never wears jeans so she assumes it’s his version of vacation clothes.

��If you haven’t noticed already, the bottomless Piña coladas are non refundable too.” She slams her old overheated MacBook shut. “Also, no one is forcing you to drink them.”

“Ah, snappy as always.” A smirk pulls at his lips. “Nothing’s changed, I suppose.”

She hates that smirk. She hates that even after everything that has happened, she still wants to lean towards it like a sunflower bending towards sunlight.

“I’m only snappy when you’re around to piss me off.” She says, rolling her eyes at him. She manages to catch a peak of the tattoo she knows is hidden underneath his shirt. She doesn’t even have to see the entirety of it to remember that it’s a dragon that starts at his left bicep and coils around his shoulder. Every scale, every line work and detail of the dragon is engraved into her mind from the kisses she placed on it, once upon a time.

Draco holds out his hand—an open, inviting gesture that she ignores. She doesn’t want a truce. She doesn’t want anything to do with this man.

“Where are we going?” She asks.

“The VIP Lounge. I could use a drink..or five if you keep glaring at me like that.”

She snorts. “I sometimes forget you are filthy rich and don’t prefer fraternizing with peasants.”

“And yet here I am.”

“Why?” She asks with genuine curiosity as she gets on her two feet. “Why are you even here anyway? It’s not like missing this trip will hamper your finances.”

He goes quiet for a bit. It is a rare instance to see him at a loss for words. The blue in his eyes dim down to a fog of dark gray. Even if he manages to think of a response, he doesn’t bother to say it.

“After you.” He gestures instead and she shakes her head and stomp on ahead, dragging her suitcase with her.

****

Draco Lucius Malfoy can get a flight upgrade just by casually mentioning his full name. He can get a bright red convertible and its keys waiting for him outside the airport just by making a single phone call.

What he can’t get however is another room for himself. No matter how many times he insists to the front desk clerk that he is happy to pay double the price.

The hotel is fully booked due to a wedding happening over the weekend, followed by a company retreat. That means she is stuck with him, inside four walls and a single queen sized bed.

“It’s fine... I’ll sleep on the floor. Everything’s fine. We will spend a majority of our trip outside anyway.”

She begins to hyperventilate as she unlocks the door and pads the premises of the room, her little hand-carry luggage following her every step.

Draco enters the room shortly after her and walks straight towards the bed. He pulls at a pillow and tucks it under his left arm before marching into the bathroom.

She follows him inside and watches in quiet confusion when he tosses the pillow into the bathtub.

“There.” Draco says, dusting his hands even though the pillow is crisp and clean. “You can have the bed.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She shakes her head. “You can’t possibly sleep inside the tub. Your entire body will be aching and sore when you wake up the next morning.”

Draco raises a brow and something inside her stomach twists into a tight knot when she realizes the unintentional double entendre.

Those smoke gray eyes sweep her entire form before pausing, right at her lips. His gaze leaves a trail of heat in its wake, all across the expanse of her skin and she is suddenly thinking about his tattoo again.

The warmth makes her throat dry up and she swallows hard before compelling herself to look away.

He too, snaps out of it and walks straight out the bathroom, his shoulders brushing hers when he passes.

She thinks she should say something—anything to make this lingering cloud of tension go away. But the door clicks shut before she can manage to say a single word.

Just like that, he is gone.

****

In order to maintain mental peace and sanity, an unspoken treaty is enforced.

If he goes left, she goes right. When he hikes up to the nearest viewpoint, she walks all the way down to the ocean shore in the opposite direction. When he catches her entering the local bar for hamburgers and drinks, he crosses the street and slips into an Italian restaurant.

The day goes by in a quick montage of bright colors, craft beers, souvenir shops and her gps lady’s passive aggressive voice giving her directions.

She knows she can only avoid him for so long. Her legs are starting to ache and her hair smells like saltwater. She’ll have to go back to their shared room eventually. Unless…she finds somewhere else to crash for the night.

It’s peak tourist season so finding another hotel is not an option. It’s not like she can afford it anyway.

Throwing back her last pint of beer, she fixes her hair and tugs her top a little lower before approaching a man, sitting alone in a booth. He looks up from his phone and gives her a flirty little smile when he notices.

She sits down next to him and he orders two pints of pale ale before introducing himself as Zacharias. She shakes his hand and offers her name in return.

With each sip, they make awkward small talk about the weather, the food and other things that do not hold much substance. It is clear that he wants nothing but a one night stand too.

It’s a stupid idea, but she’s desperate. Even breathing the same air as Draco makes repressed feelings bubble up and trickle out of her. She can’t trust herself around him.

“I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment.” Zacharias clarifies just in case the message wasn’t clear enough.

“Neither am I.” She shrugs. She doesn’t think there will ever be anything serious after Draco.

“Great.” Zacharias finishes the remainder of his beer. “I’m staying over at—”

“There you are. I was beginning to think I lost you for a second.” The voice that she’d been trying to avoid all day cuts Zacharias mid sentence. She finds it hard to look up because she knows the sight of him will rob her off her breath.

“You lost me a long time ago.” She mutters.

“Do you know this guy?” Zacharias looks at her and then at Draco.

She hates how good he looks in the t-shirt and black leather jacket. His blond hair has a wild, windswept quality about it and the way stray, stubborn bits fall into his forehead make her decide that vacation Draco is unfortunately just as attractive as the all black suit one.

“I wish I didn’t.” She glared at him. “So I pretend I don’t—on most days.”

“Does that help you sleep at night?” Draco lets out a quiet laugh. “Pretending to not know me?”

It doesn’t.

She hasn’t slept in between now and then. She thinks about him way too often than she’d like to admit. She thinks about his voice, the way it sounds in the morning, the way he hums absently when she’s laying her head on his chest, the growl that escapes his lips when he is inside her.

“Uh, I think we should get going?” Zacharias suggests, getting up from the booth and dusting his jeans clean from the chips seasoning.

She looks up at Zacharias, and then steals a glance at Draco. His eyes are the color of pure mercury under the bar lights. One glimpse and she is suddenly glued to the booth. She can tell he is furious but she secretly loves getting under his skin.

As much as she wishes she could irk him a bit more, she is too tired for games. She gives Zacharias an apologetic smile and he shakes his head and walks away.

As soon as Zacharias disappears a switch goes off and the tiny blue flecks return in Draco’s irises.

“I was just trying to give you the room, you know.” She sighs in defeat as he sits down next to her. “I didn’t want you to sleep in the tub.”

“I’ll sleep on the floor, if that helps.” He shrugs. My mum’s chiropractor says laying on the floor can sometimes help the back.”

“How’s Narcissa?”

“She asks about you all the time.” He smiles wistfully as he orders another round of drinks. Two Piña coladas. “She is convinced I am going to die alone so she keeps trying to set me up with girls.”

“Met anyone interesting?” She asks, trying to ignore the small pang of jealousy inside of her.

“None as interesting as you, I’m afraid.”

Warmth flows through her body again and she can’t help but break into a smile.

****

It’s a small coastal town prone to moody weather conditions so it starts to rain when they walk back towards the hotel, side by side, with a safe distance in between.

Streetlights overhead cast a glossy sheen on the wet concrete as the raindrops multiply from one to one hundred.

She doesn’t have a jacket with her, so she has to rub her arms to warm her from the sudden drop of temperature. Draco seems to notice this because one second he is a meter away from her, and the next he is shielding her from the rain under his jacket.

The jacket technically doesn’t do much to hide them from the rain but she doesn’t say a word.

He smells like cedar wood and mint, so familiar that she almost feels like she is finally back home after an exhausting journey uphill.

She turns her head just a little to get a better look at him and now his cheek is pressing onto her forehead. Her lips are inches away from his jaw.

“It doesn’t help me sleep at night.” She blurts. “I can unfortunately never successfully pretend to not know you.”

“Good.” He says, turning just a little and lowering his head so that their foreheads press up together. There is relief in his smile and she scowls at him.

“Why are you smiling at my misery?”

“Because I am as miserable as you are. If not more. I can’t sleep at night either.” He whispers into her temple, his voice a soft caress on her skin.

“And why is that?”

“Because I know too much. I know the way you take your coffee and I know what side of the bed you prefer to sleep in. I know what your hands feel like on my skin, and I know that you don’t own enough jackets because it is your own silent, one woman revolution against the colder months.”

He dips his head a little lower so he can place his lips on her pulse point. The graze of his teeth sends shivers down her back. “Tell me, sweetheart. How does one go about erasing someone from their mind when these little things are embedded deep into their heart?”

She can’t seem to look away now. Not when the levee holding back her emotions is threatening to burst any second.

The rain is still pouring and he lets the makeshift leather jacket umbrella drop to cup her face in both his hands. His thumbs make feeble attempts to wipe away the raindrops from her cheeks and she just laughs when he grumbles curses at the sky.

They have both had difficulty loving people and letting people in.

When she thinks about it, she doesn’t even remember how or why the breakup happened in the first place.

What she does know it’s that they have both in some ways been unlucky in life, in love, and have collectively lost so much—have lost each other.

They can always learn to heal and forgive. Can they not?

Draco seems to be asking the same question with his lips hovering dangerously close to hers.

The terms of the peace treaty are still unclear. She doesn’t know if she’s allowed to kiss him so she brings her lips close enough just to touch on his before pulling away.

He lets out a low growl. “Don’t play with me. You have me standing on a ledge right now.” He winds his fingers around a stray strand of her wet hair.

“Will you jump if I ask you to?” She whispers.

Thunder rumbles the sky and he snaps out of the trance. He backs away and presses a small kiss on the top of her head. “Over and over.” He says, walking into the hotel lobby with her. “Till it breaks every bone in my body.”

****

Awkward silence fills the room and takes out all the air from it.

He is in the shower, washing away the day's sand, rain, mist and sweat. She can hear the water run. Anytime now, he will be done with his shower. She knows she should be looking for her own change of clothes so she can slip into the shower as soon as he gets out.

“You can have the room tonight.” He says, when the shower door creaks open. “I can sleep in the car.”

“During this weather? You can’t be serious.” She grabs her bathrobe and turns around to head to the shower. That is when she sees him—his tattoo, his bare torso, his glistening and drenched body. She forgets they’re broken up for a second and wants to jump him.

She is touch starved and she just wants to feel him against her. She just wants to run her fingertips along the outline of the dragon tattoo.

“It’s cold and I don’t want you to get sick.” She clears her throat, walking towards the bathroom. “You can sleep on the bed. We’re sensible adults.”

“Sensible we are.” He mutters like he doesn’t even mean it before stepping aside to let her pass through.

She momentarily shuts the door behind her and leans back against it to catch her breath.

Maybe it was her acting on her whim, maybe it was her base instincts taking over but she opens the shower door again and finds him still standing there.

“Oh thank fuck.” He growls, scooping her into his arms and they click.

If there is such a thing as a twin flame, it would be him for her. The reunion of their lips feels a lot like home.

He kisses her like he’d been famished for this.He devours her whole—her lips, her tongue.

Then, when she tugs at his hair to draw him closer, he stops.

“What are we doing?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” She whispers back, resuming their kiss. Right now, she wants this. She needs this. The rest they can figure out in the morning.

The kiss is a whirlwind of emotions.

It’s a game of pushing and pulling. A dance of attract and repel. A song of I missed you, and a glance of I want you.

She sheds her clothes like she’s shedding a cloak armed with knives. He drops his towel like he is surrendering his hidden weapons.

They are all in.

He is all in, pressing up deeper inside of her walls.

She claws against the walls as he rocks his hips, arching her back like an invitation for him to push himself to her hilt.

“I forgive you.” She whimpers. “I forgive you for everything you’ve had to do because of me, the places you’ve been to, the darkness you’ve had to bear witness to.”

“I forgive you too.” He barely whispers into her ears when the tidal wave of pleasure hits.

When she comes seconds later, it feels like the darkness inside of her has dissipated into pure silver light—the color of his hair, the tint of pleasure in his eyes.

Later, they crawl into bed together. It’s cold but he is warm and she allows herself to get comfortable.

It’s not even been seconds but sleep knocks her out of her senses. She hasn’t felt this safe in a while.

When she wakes up the next morning, she finds him already awake and staring at her.

“When we were dating, why didn’t you tell me you hated Piña coladas?” She asks, yawning.

He lets out a sound that sounds like the combination of an amused scoff and chuckle.

“I didn’t tell you that because I loved the way your eyes lit up when I gave you my Piña colada.”

“But you always ordered it.” She scrunches her brows.

“Exactly.”

“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to talk about last night.” She adds, unable to hide the anxiety in her voice.

He intertwines their hands and smiles down at her. “We can talk as much as you want about it during our walk across the vineyard.”

“Only if I get to drive.”

“It’s a deal.” He kisses her again, and she lets him.

***

End notes:

I’m on vacation so no tag-list was used.

I’ve been experimenting with my writing style a bit these days. Feedback is always welcomed. :)))

[k-dokja]

how did you make vinny hong so whipped? // windbreaker

Disclaimer: I'm only reading up to season 2. Some of these might not reflect Vinny's development. I mostly avoid writing to him because of the similarities to Taehoon and I planned to write a lot for Taehoon.

— Okay, Dom said it, you're dating a simp. Your man is whipped and literally, everyone within the five miles radius sees it. He literally goes from the fierce menace of society to the gentle protective grizzly bear. No one knows how that is possible, but Vinny truly has the biggest soft spot for you. Especially if you were dating him back before he got the delicious character development. 

— Generally, he tries to keep you away from his school life. If possible, he will separate any ugly sides of him from you. But he’s not good at it, and you probably saw more than enough beforehand. It’s not easy for him to open up, he works to confide in you because he knows it’s not good to swallow his feelings. This gets exponentially better after he joined the crew as well.

— He's really protective, like, really. Doesn't matter whether if you're older than him or not, you're going nowhere near his old classmates or even going to bike races if possible. Will do everything he can to steer you away from any bad influences they might bring. Arguably, he is not the best seed himself, but he knows there are others who are far worse and he'll do anything to prevent them from approaching you. 

— Vinny got into fights often enough for it to be worrying, but he never fights in front of you. Something about it both feels and looks bad for him. Even if you had seen him fighting a handful of times before the two of you got together, he doesn’t want you to see him looking like that after you did. Mostly because he knows you worry when he gets hurt.

— On another note, if anyone ever uses you against him, they will not even get the chance to see the daylight of the next morning. The only time when you are given the chance to see Vinny going berserk is when someone used you to bait him. You had to stop him from turning those guys into past tense because he was smashing them with a pipe.

— He knows you deserve much more than him, especially when it comes to romance. The two of you rarely get the chances to go on any proper, romantic dates, and he gets in troubles too often for you to not worry. However, he does try, anything else you want him to do, he will do it. Because life is too depressing and seeing you smiles deal with at least 80% of his problems.

— Despite his appearance, he was really shy at first with the handholding. He went from letting you holding on his sleeve to holding pinky fingers with you. While he no longer got shy with it now, if someone teased how you got him wrapped around your fingers, he’d literally explode. And yes, he will go for the sneaky forehead kiss. Believe that he didn’t want to be that chaste, but if he went beyond that in public, he’ll turn as red as his hair.

— King of giving you little tokens and trinkets he got randomly. Like, they are mostly cheap or deformed ones, but when he found out you kept them all, he literally died on the spot. Why are you so cute. 

— You holding on his arm while he’s holding on the bike as the two of you walk home together? Divine. Wonderful. Outstanding. You riding his bike and looking cute doing it? Even more outstanding. His only regret when it comes to competitive cycling is that he can’t have a backseat or even rear foot pedal for you. Any additional modification adds unnecessary weight or complications, so you didn’t want to bother him either. 

— No matter how tired he has been the day prior, he always calls you before he hits the hay. Even if he went to a race until late at night, he will text you to let you know he arrived home safe. On the off chances that he forgot about it, Sung did the task for him and alerted you that he came home that night. 

— Talk about his home... yeah, you have the key to his place. Mostly so that you can pop in and out easily without having him there to open the door. He lives alone so he has much more freedom too, even if his place is nowhere near as nice as your house. With you around, he does try to clean up more as well. One occasion he actually woke up to you cleaning the house for him, he went from thinking he was dreaming to straight up panic mode.

— Something about you taking care of him makes him both happy and uneasy. He has too much pride and doesn’t like relying on people, but doing those domestic tasks with you... it hits him in the heart he doesn’t know he has. Buying groceries and washing the sheets should not make him feel that giddy, yet here he is.

— Another thing on the budget date list with Vinny is the two of you sharing the headphone. He is not the best conversationalist, not for the lack of trying with you. But sometimes he only wants to spend time with you and doesn’t really know what to talk about. You can only talk about yourself to a point before you run out of things to talk about as well. That’s where the music comes in, silence can get really awkward, but music is just fine. 

— Yes, you pretty much share playlists at this point. If you have similar tastes, then you would have no problem meshing with him, but in the case your tastes are different, he doesn’t mind switching back and forth between what he likes and what you enjoy. Heck, he even finds new favorites among yours and vice versa. 

— He rarely, if not never, snapped at you. Grumpy at worst and sulky at best. He can’t even ignore you whether if he wants it or not, one look at whatever puppy dog eyes you have, he caves faster than an ill-constructed building. Even if he’s angry, he’d never ignore you or push you away. He would actively feel worse if he tried that, to be honest. And he tried so hard to stay mad at you.

[notnctu]

push & pull | kim doyoung

❀ slytherin!doyoung x hufflepuff!femreader ❀ genre - SLOW BURN, smut, fluff, a bit of humor (idk not rlly) ❀ details -  hogwarts!au, fwb to lovers?, y/n is a player lol, jealous doyoung, mutual pining, doyoung is a lil mean ❀ word count - 9.7k ❀ warnings - explicit language, possessiveness (a concept of marking), dom!doyoung, angry sex?, slight dirty talk, penetration, fingering, praise kink ❀ synopsis - in which a prideful slytherin and an oblivious hufflepuff play a clueless emotion game of tug of war.

❝I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?❞  

❝People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you pursue me?❞ ❀ a/n - i changed the plot a little bit as i was writing lol but hopefully it still fits everything! i said this in the teaser, but i want to preface and say that the magic/marking is not canon to harry potter, and that the only thing im using are the sectional houses/subjects. besides that, everything is made up LMAO also pls b lenient with me, i read hogwarts!au but writing it is very out of my comfort zone and am very bad at creating anything magical 

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Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, mindlessly and imperfectly steals glances your way across the dining tables and under several hundred floating lit candles. He sits huddled with his few posh friends that wear the same green and silver tie situated so tightly underneath their necks. And you, just looking as dazzling as ever, with your yellow and black tie hanging loose and a few buttons undone from your dress shirt.

He hates how easily you catch his attention and his ability to spot your figure in a dense crowd. You barely even look his way in public now, often distracted by a broad Gryffindor that tries to make flirtatious advantages at you. And when he thinks it can’t get any worse, it does… as you’re flashing your bright beautiful smile back at him and the shift in your body language.

“You’re staring again.” Yuta flickers between his friend and the subject of his focus.

Doyoung clears his throat, smooths his tie and physically turns his body away from the horrendous scene. “It’s very hard not to stare when she’s flirting with other men in front of me.”

“Does she do it on purpose?” The silver haired boy raises a questionable eyebrow and Doyoung reacts before he can speak.

He perks up and narrows his eyes at Yuta. “Purpose? Like to make me jealous?” Doyoung scoffs, laughs almost at the ridiculous thought. “The answer is no. We’re not exclusive, we’re nothing.”

“If you two are nothing, then why are you acting like you two are something? Get a grip, it’s practically sickening watching you fume over a ditzy Hufflepuff.” As Yuta prepares to bite into his delicious soft bread roll, it flies out of his grip, down the long table and onto another person’s plate.

Both boys are quick to stand to their feet and face each other chest to chest. Neither one of them is intimidated by the other, but their other friends around them are rather shocked by the sudden discrepancy.

Doyoung forcibly brushes off an imaginary dust off his good friend’s shoulders and draws a perfectly strained fake smile, knowing that others may be watching and he is a Prefect after all. But most importantly, you could be watching. “Call her that again, and your dinner won’t be the only thing that’s thrown across the table.” His threat is loud enough solely for Yuta to hear.

Yuta, with glaring eyes, picks up his dinner tray and walks off with his chin held high and a brisk in his stride. Doyoung clears his throat in the midst of the brief silence and out of habit, fixes his tie back in place. He takes a seat back down and the chatter at the table resumes, but he’s beyond embarrassed and disappointed at his loss of temper that everything drowns out.

Almost everything. He feels a light tap on his shoulder and out of annoyance, he spins around hastily and sharply snarls, “what?” But his eyes land on your fearful wide eyes and the slight cower in your stance, knowing that you caught onto his bad mood. And he’s half in disbelief that you’re approaching him right in the center of the Great Hall, that you’re standing so beautiful a foot away from him.

Instant regret and guilt fills his chest, his sharp eyes soften at your pout and the concerned furrow in between your brows. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have any words to say… he can’t get himself to apologize for his behavior.

“Do you want to walk to Herbology with me?” The quiver in your voice made you seem so small, so desperate for him, that he can hear the reactions of his friends. They’re laughing, at him, at you, at the whole scene that’s unfolding. He feels mocked, being a laughing stock isn’t something he’s very fond of.

His lips form a tight line, and in a snarky tone, “you don’t know your own way, Puff? Mind you ask your own Prefect to guide you.” Fuck. He tried to find the nicest way possible to brush you off, but his friends laugh a bit louder and intensely. And you didn’t like that one bit.

Your lips part slightly in a frown, an eyebrow raised and a hand on your hip. You look as if you’re ready to attack him, to jinx him, to probably pinch at his skin. But he knows you, and you’d do none of the above. Instead, you say the one threat that causes his heart to sink into the pit of his stomach, “don’t talk to me in class.” You’re slipping away from him as you pick up your pace, exiting all the commotion in the Great Hall.

He tries to hide the disappointment that stems from his chest, and his heart beats with an inexplicable dull pain. All he can think about is the twist of your expression and he’s gathering his things rather quickly to follow after you, without even a bid goodbye to his clique.

Without any knowledge of what you two do behind closed doors and the complex history that you two share, one may view your relationship as practically nonexistent; you two are strangers, barely passing acquaintances. 

Doyoung does not approach you in the halls, in anywhere that necessarily has many witnesses. You smile at him, maybe even a wave depending on your mood, but no one questions it … as you wave at almost everyone who passes by you.

Classmates might see interaction during the one class you two share, if they pay attention close enough. However, you and Doyoung are much more to each other than passing acquaintances. Although he’s starting to see himself as another name on your list of individuals you sleep with, you are much more to him than you could ever know.

He’ll never forget the first time you two met. He was patrolling the halls for anyone lurking past curfew with his nose dug deep in his heavy book on magical creatures, when you walked right into him and caused the both of you to fall to the granite.

He was beyond ready to dock off points for whoever the rule breaker may be, but you took his breath away when you hovered above him and clasped your palm over his mouth before he can scold anyone. You looked a bit frazzled as your hair was all over the place and he noticed your minimal amount of clothing in the middle of a cold winter night.

He saw the signature Hufflepuff badge on your thin sweater and the sound of your voice completely threw him off his tracks.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper at the stunned Prefect underneath you, whose body feels warm against your own. But your eyes remain frantically on the lookout for anyone else passing, despite the lack of light in the cobblestone hallway. You most definitely do not belong in this wing of the castle and knocking down a Prefect caused more of a problem in your escape route.

Quickly standing up, you lend your hand out for him to take. His long fingers accept your hold as he pulls himself up and dusts the dirt off his robe. His green emblem glows in the dim light and you’re internally screaming at the mess you just made for yourself. But you recognize his features: the sharpness in his eyes, the small curves of the corners of his lips, his neatly parted black hair.

“You’re in some deep---”

“---Kim Doyoung.” The boy freezes at the sound of his name and he blinks at you, curious as to where you know of him. Being a Prefect has its small perks of popularity, but he didn’t expect for it to go this far. “Y/N, we had brooms together.”

As he repeats your name and examines your pretty features, a light bulb goes off in his head. “The clumsy Hufflepuff that fell off her broom in the highest altitude?”

“If that’s how you remember me by.” You smile proudly, and he scoffs at how someone could possibly hold pride in something so silly. “It’s nice to see you around, you’re a Prefect! Wow! That’s incredible.”

“And you’re still as clumsy as you were a year ago. Falling all over the place.”

“Unfortunately, some things don’t change! But you certainly have.” Doyoung looks at you with hooded eyes and a cautious gaze, but you’re so outlandishly bold despite swaying with your hands behind your back. “Please, don’t take that the wrong way. I meant it as a compliment! I used to have a tiny crush on you, baseless, but you helped me catch my broomstick and I’ll never be able to forget that.”

Doyoung, unknowingly, lights up at your shameless confession and takes another good look at you. You're much more mature now, and if he stared into your alluring gaze any longer, he’d be completely mesmerized without the need of a love potion. “So you liked me over a meaningless chivalrous act?”

“I liked you because you were charming and yes, perhaps I am someone who finds attractiveness in men who are chivalrous. There’s nothing wrong with that.” You bat your sweet eyelashes at him so endearingly, and he’s a blushing mess all over the place.

Doyoung has had anonymous love letters passed on from his friends, but they were all Slytherins who yearned greedily to be associated with his status. So knowing that a Hufflepuff, with an innocent youthful approach to love, festered some form of infatuation with him does flatter him quite well. “I’ll let you go.”

You’re about to exhale an exasperated sigh of relief until Doyoung continues, “under one condition.”

“Okay, I’ll do anything.” Your gleaming eyes sparkle like stars paired with the night sky.

He rolls his eyes at you, “don’t be so quick to jump at conditions without hearing them first.” Doyoung groans and you passively brush off his comment.

“If it’s harmless, I’ll do it.”

And in the dead of the night, where only you two stand in the middle of an empty cobblestone hallway, Doyoung requests, “I want to see you again.”

Although that night marked the beginning of your friendship, public interactions were still scarce and this was mainly on the fault of Doyoung. The times you met were late nights past curfew where he was stationed at and he grew to enjoy your wondrous personality. This boy grew up in a Slytherin bubble his whole life, no one outside of his house ever dared approached him … at least, not with the warmest smile as yours.

You were everything he was not, but he liked it so much. You were a half that completed his whole, and there were growing pains he couldn’t confide in anyone else. Surprisingly, you knew his imperfections more than he did himself and yet, you still wanted to be around him to encourage him. Not to mention, you had a sudden growth in other parts of your body and formed into your features very beautifully.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed, as there were more male counterparts who smiled at you, talked about you, fawned over you. And he felt something heighten inside of him along with his existing romantic feelings, and that he began seeing you in a new light.

With you experiencing new things, like hand holding and being showered by love letters on Valentine’s Day, it was wrong of him to fester such envy over the ones who publicly adorned you. He was so blinded by his hot headed rage that he completely missed the fact that you never accepted anyone who confessed, maybe the hand holding, but everyone else was a complete rejection.

All this time, you had been waiting for him and when you two shared your first kiss together, you had an assumption that Doyoung was going to finally confess that he felt the same way. But he never did. You two did, however, further your relationship into something more intimate and taking each other’s virginities opened a whole pathway of possibilities --- none being one where you two end up officially together.

He was the first to sleep with someone else, that was his first of many mistakes that he was going to make in his relationship with you. It also became the drop of the needle for you to start seeing other people as well, to explore what Doyoung couldn’t offer, to rid yourself of the feelings you had for a boy that didn’t seem like he wanted anything more.

Chivalry was dead and Doyoung believed that the innocent youthful Hufflepuff love had disappeared from within you.

As his present day runs after you, you’re abruptly stopped by a Ravenclaw for a small chat. Damn you Hufflepuffs for being friendly and social. So, he rushes past the two of you and into the classroom to await for your arrival. The quick shade of green flashes by your side and you’re fuming incredibly at how Doyoung continues to play you like a harp.

When you slide into your assigned seat next to him, he goes off like a canon. Doyoung starts spewing backhanded excuses and endless shameless rambles about his behavior. “I told you. Don’t talk to me during class or I will jinx you. Won’t be able to talk with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.”

“You’re not going to jinx me.” With a subtle flick of his wrist, your chair is pulled closer to his. “And if you were to do so, you wouldn’t do something so cynical.” Yelping at the abrupt usage of his magic, you’re irritably pressing your ink into your journal with a newfound annoyance.

“You’re right. I’d turn you into a duck, so at least, you’re still cute to look at.” The mindless scribbles on the paper make no sense in your head, as you’re primarily zoned in on the disrupted energy you have about your Slytherin companion. These ill feelings make you almost sick, wanting to shut out any bad replay of the moments before and forgetting about the attention you seek so much from Doyoung.

“For you to successfully cast a jinx on me, you must make eye contact first.” His finger lifts your chin and you’re eye to eye with his lustful dark stare. Doyoung licks his lips, a shine shimmers from his saliva, and he’s tempted to bring you into his chambers for an intimacy he’s been craving. “My, oh my. You’re looking very charmed today.” A grin curves up and taunts you, and you’re blinking away down at the table.

“Doyoung, we’re in class. Please, focus.” Your desperate whisper turns into a whine once his cold hand slyly smooths over your bare knee.

“Are you free later tonight?” Doyoung peers over at your side profile and your skin feels soft at his fingertips. He’s imagining your intoxicating scent mixing with his sheets, your light playful kisses along his neck, and gripping onto every naked part of you. For a whole minute, he’s forgotten that he’s in class with other no name individuals and a boring professor. He has tunnel vision whenever he’s with you.

“I have an arrangement.” The grip on your knee tightens at your quiet answer. An arrangement.

“The Gryffindor who had leafy greens in between his teeth?” Doyoung treads lightly, because you’re both well aware he’s made harsher insults than that. He retrieves his hand and picks up his pen as if he’s never touched you.

He sees your head shake out of the corner of his eye, you’re rolling your lips together sheepishly. There’s something odd about your stance and he’s growing a bit more curious…. A bit more spiteful at how closed off you are being. There’s something you’re hiding from him. “Then, who?”

“Is there something you’d like to discuss with the class, Mr. Kim? If not, I’d like for everyone to head over to the greenhouse.” As the class slightly snickers and the classroom empties, you and Doyoung are stopped by your professor.

Professor Sprout, wearing her worn out Dragon hide gloves and a thin lined smile, shoves a potted plant into Doyoung’s hands, “behave, you two. Your conversations are never very secret when spoken aloud.” She gives both of you a warning before proceeding out along with the rest of the class.

Doyoung scoffs at the absurd encounter and rolls his eyes. “Ah, you’re getting me in trouble with you now.”

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. It’s better that you don’t know.” You say this every time, when will you realize that keeping your hookups a secret only causes him more agony? He catches your wrist as you both exit the corridors, he barely ever has you alone now. And to say the least, he fucking misses you.

“Spare me some of your time after class.” He’s disgusted by himself, knowing that his eyes are begging for you to say yes. Him, a highly admired Slytherin, has settled for scraps and if anyone knew, they’d never let him live.

Your hand gently clasps over his and when you look up with your starry eyes, something inside him feels at peace. “Did you miss me?” He gulps at your question and blinks at you like a deer in headlights. If said by anyone else, he would not hesitate to snap his fingers into a malicious spell. But you ask the million dollar question so sweetly, there’s no taunt… there’s no mockery in your tone. It’s full of genuine curiosity.

So, he answers you with part of his heart that you know too well. “Unfortunately.” His body falls slightly in defeat, and suddenly the potted plant is alive in his hands. It’s wailing a dangerous and annoying loud cry, completely ruining the moment.

Doyoung quizzically ponders the monstrous green plant and its magical capabilities puzzle him, possibly reminding him to pay more attention to the actual curriculum than on your unbuttoned shirt.

Moreover, your giggle surprisingly calms him in this stressful situation and you lightly pat his hand that’s still gripping your wrist. “I’m all yours after class.” 

Taking the wretched plant, you hurry off toward the greenhouse to find someone to diffuse the crying creature. Doyoung laughs in disbelief at your comical animated figure running around with a pot over your head and shouting for any student to help you. So you’re not paying attention in class either?

Doyoung takes you to your favorite place, despite the rule that you’re not allowed access to it. The Prefect Bathroom remains spotlessly clean and fresh paired with an immediate scent of rosewater and wild honeysuckle. The white polished marble gleams prettily under the twinkling diamond chandeliers and you’re twirling enthusiastically in the center of the large undressing area.

He observes and smiles widely to himself at the sight of your happiness and cute giggles. It’s always a risk to have you use their bathroom, but he is always abusing his privilege to seek your enjoyment that he truly doesn’t care about anything else. Your morality has beaten him enough and he’s heard plenty about his wrongdoings, yet here you are… sweetly dancing in the one place that’s absolutely wrong. Perhaps, you two have rubbed off a little too much on one another.

“I can never get sick of this place.” As you plead to Doyoung to cast a bubble bath, you’re already stripping out of your skirt. He shields his eyes to give you some privacy and recites the charm to run hot dazzling water in the ginormous pool. A nice soothing bath is exactly what you two need after a stressful day playing in the dirt.

“This is your favorite place.” says Doyoung with a matter of fact edge to this tone.

“It’s my favorite place because I only get to come here with you.” You jump on his back and he hoists you up by your thighs. His heart skips a happy tune. “I refuse for you to tell me the password, even if you do wish for me to enjoy the simple pleasures of a bubble bath.”

“You and your right and wrongs.” With eager hands, you’re loosening his tie from around his neck. “You stripped so fast that you’re going to get a cold.”

“It’s going to get steamy really soon. Plus, I know you like me best without any clothes on.” Your hot breath tickles the shell of his ear and a blush scatters across Doyoung’s cheek. Button after button, his open shirt exposes his toned build. He sets you on the edge of the elevated step before the bath.

Doyoung smirks at your nakedness and your hot lustful expression. Leaning in until he’s practically breathing against your lips, he stares straight into your eyes. “My Puff knows me best.” And dives into you with all his soul. Fruitful drags of his lips along yours, his long tongue enters your mouth. His large hand carefully caresses your cheek to pull you further into the kiss, noses pressing into skin and with a desire to never part.

His heart swells lovingly, kissing you feels like the best thing in the world. There are no tricks, no spells, no recited charms, but you are more than magical. The same surge of energy runs through his veins, but unlike his impressive ability as a notable wizard, he can’t control it. You make him lose control. As meticulous and cautious as he is, you’re the first thing he doesn’t think through.

Your needy hands push off his dress shirt and he hurriedly unbuckles his belt. When you break the kiss, he automatically pouts and pulls you back in for one more lingering peck. “Are you going to scrub my back for me?” You smile, dragging him closer to the overflowing bathtub.

Large puffs of white bubbles spill from the rims and disappear with your every step. It reminds you of sea foam that washes upon the shore, with a floral fragrant that fills your lungs. “That’s quite an intimate gesture, but yes.”

After removing all his garments, he joins you in the large pool of glossy bubbles and the clouds of steam that rises from the water suffocates him warmly. He sits with his back against the wall and eyes unwavering on your alluring expression. 

The bubbles do a great job at covering your breasts, but his sneaky hands snake under the water to grip them. Doyoung grabs a full tit and thumbs over your erect nipple, all while he holds the most sensual gaze with you. Slowly, you naturally end up in his hold and your wet back relaxes against his chest.

The beating of his heart is too loud and surely, you can feel the way it jumps out of his chest. Doyoung attaches his lips on your skin and as you’re melting at his harsh suckling. However, you perk up and snap out of your dazed arousal at the realization of his purposeful licks. “You’re trying to mark me?”

His hand continues to rub and twist your aching nipples. The sensation stimulating the growth of pleasure to sprout below and your mind to wander. 

“Possibly.”

A lovers’ mark is the ultimate testament of mutual love. Engraving the skin with your beloved’s Patronus, wherever the giver chooses to mark. Love emblems are meant to be something sacred to the couple, a way to make someone completely untouchable to everyone else. Not only does the symbol glow with an iridescent shine whenever love is felt, it also numbs any romantic feelings for all others besides the partner.

Besides the use of possessiveness, it’s a beautiful way to discover one true love since the engraving of their Patronus shows up on the skin under the conditions that both individuals must be madly in love with one another. And if it doesn’t end up forming, the receiver is left with a bright, sparkling star hue in its place before fading away completely. If it does appear, it fades when both fall out of love.

“Doyoung--” His name falls from your lips as a moan and he’s running down to explore the beauty between your legs. “--can’t do that unless you actually want to commit to me.”

“I am committed to you.” The more your neck cranes off to the side and exposed to him, the more he wishes to etch the symbol of his love for everyone to see. A hand is hooked under your thigh to keep your legs spread open and you’re gasping at the slight pressure from the water.

“Romantically committed to me.” You remind him, but your train of thought is cut fairly short as Doyoung begins rubbing circles on your needy clit.

“You’re afraid of it showing up?” He’s lathering your breasts with bubbles and dragging his long finger along your slit. His greediness overtakes him and with wandering hands, he’s gripping every part of you that they can reach. Doyoung’s guilty pleasure is always going to any form of physical affection from you specifically. When he finally gets ahold of you, it’s hard for him to let go.

Your warm skin is delicate and smooth beneath the very tips of his fingers and every exploration of your terrain makes him feel inexplicable explosions of fondness. Perhaps, you’ve captivated him and although he believed it would take something as extreme as the Amortentia to have him falling for someone, you did it as easily as being yourself. His better half.

So, he’s impressed by your genuineness and how he’s willing to give up parts of his reputation to unapologetically be himself around you. No one else matters, nothing else matters, but why must it be so difficult to tell you that?

“I’m afraid of it not showing up.” You’re more than convinced that Doyoung has confused his strong sense of lust with love and there would be no possible way his Patronus would appear. It’s better to save the embarrassment for the both of you.

Spinning in his arms, the water twirls to the curves of your body and he’s admiring parts that expose above the surface. He’s matched with your beauty before him, resemblance to the stained glass window that situates above the large bathroom.

However, the doubt in your statement finally reaches his ears and he’s grabbing your ass as you settle over his thighs again. His furrowed eyebrows bring together a rather upset expression --- lip pout and all.

“Why wouldn’t it show up?” Doyoung puzzles, bringing your arms to wrap around his neck. Leaning into him, your pruney fingers trace his smooth chin and he notices your quick flicker between his eyes and his lips.

While your gentle kiss reassures him of your subtle endearment, your next words do the opposite. “You tell me.” All you do is push him away with your vague doubtfulness, like you’re constantly testing him and using his poor guessing skills to your own advantage. He can pull you close after any altercation he wants, but you push him away in any emotionally romantic sense.

“You’re rather mischievous and mysterious today,” Doyoung squeezes your ass and smacks it lightly, causing ripples in the water. “I liked it better when you told me everything you felt.”

Suddenly, his fingers poke at your entrance and his other hand drops in between your legs again. Your mouth opens in shock when his long fingers enter slowly and he enjoys the pleasurable contour of your reactions. “Like this, for example.” The pad of his fingers working rapid flicks against your sensitive bud. “How does this feel?” His whisper dances across your shoulder, landing a kiss at the end of his question.

Your moans echo in the lavish bathroom, bouncing off the marble walls and encouraging Doyoung to keep a steady pace. There’s no worry about how loud you may be, Doyoung charms every room before every lustful encounter. This allows you to let go, let free, let him know how he makes you feel.

He curves his fingers into you, pumping and dragging into your tightness until you’re practically screaming. He only has one thought, as his eyes trail down your intoxicated needy figure, how beautiful you are as a moaning mess under his control. Your head is thrown back, eyes are squeezed shut and opening them to see nothing but tiny yellow starlight.

Dainty kisses line your exposed neck line and his ego swells with so much pride. Doyoung has mastered every flick of his wrist to have you under his trance, spewing nonsensical words and forgetting anyone else that exists. He gives your erect nipples harsh licks and with a faint drag of teeth, the sensation pushes you to your end.

Sporadic pleasurable convulsions cause your legs to close around Doyoung’s hands, but the strength of his knee keeps them apart. “Doyoung… I’m going to free fall.”

Leave it up to you to beautifully announce your climax. He snickers, applying more pressure on your clit and a rubbing motion against your walls. “I’ll catch you.”

Moon crescents embed into his skin as you’re holding onto him with your whole life. As your scream hits every octave, the massive collection of bubbles that cover the surface of the bath fly and splatter every corner of the pristine room. 

White and wet bubbles drip down from the walls, falling from the diamond chandeliers, and coating every steamy mirror. Doyoung’s eyes light up from the chaos, making sure you’re riding out your high for as long as he can provide.

Your body trembles with euphoria, falling forward into Doyoung’s chest and squeezing around his lazily pumping fingers. For a brief second, your mind is wiped and nothing in the world feels better than being in this perfect moment with the one person who’s Patronus you hoped would etch your skin.

If one possesses feelings that are practically unbearable to contain, one should confess… right? For all your life, you’ve lived by this statement. Friends do not hear the end of it and most surely, one should follow their own advice… right?

So why do you yearn for Doyoung in your gaze as he stands across the Great Hall as if he doesn’t know of your existence? As if he wasn’t kissing you in the Prefect bathroom a few days prior?

It’s not an understatement to say that you catch the attention of almost every person in the room, but the one head that refuses to turn your way… the one who’s looks you wish to steal… is the one person who looks right through you.

Feelings have become a nuisance ever since the first time you confessed to him and it was worse than landing on cobblestone after falling off your broom. The reason why you’ve buried them deeper than any chamber is that you’re positive that the prized Slytherin would rather be with another, preferably one from his own house.

While you try to remain optimistic and playful for the time being, you’re simply replaceable to him. He can barely care to acknowledge you in public when Gryffindors boast about you in their arms like winning a trophy. You’ve kept good relations with every Ravenclaw you’ve slept with. You’ve kindly rejected every romantic gesture another Hufflepuff has offered.

But if there is one thing you’ve learned about him is that he’s lived in his Slytherin circle for as long as he lives. And it will stay that way. You’re his sweet Hufflepuff that he’ll push away at no cost, then pull you back in secrecy.

Now if one feels as if they’re wasting their time, one should leave… right? Wrong. Kim Doyoung has skewed with your morality… and your feelings remain loyal to him since the day he confessed to see you again.

“Lemon-drop, I’ve been looking all over for you.” An arm slings around your shoulders and the notable red and gold tie is the first thing you see. Jung Jaehyun, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, flashes his deep dimples at you. “Walk with me.”

He extends his palm out for you to take and your friends painfully elbow your sides to wake you from your hesitation. Taking his hand, you get up from the dining table and follow him out the Great Hall.

Doyoung sees the scene unfold before him and rolls his eyes at how Jaehyun’s dimples are all it takes to have you wandering off with him. Despite every wicked intent to follow you two, he heads out in the direction of the dormitories to fume in his room.

“It’s such a nice and sunny day today.” Jaehyun runs a hand through his luscious brown locks. You both exit into the front courtyard as other students are scattered on the lawns mingling with one another. When you peer up at the sky, the sun is barely seen past the layers of clouds.

“Jaehyun, is there something you needed to speak with me about?” His laughter roars, full of hefty song and amusement.

“Listen, lemon-drop. I like you and I have a feeling you feel the same way. I want to mark you if you’d let me.” Jaehyun smirks and just as he brings your hand up for a kiss, you gently let go. “Am I coming off too strong? We don’t have to do it today, I just wanted to see if it would show.”

“Jaehyun, you’re going to find an extravagant person one day. A person who is going to know all your favorite castle balconies to swing from and how you like to be kissed on the nose.” His ears grow a bright red and for once, his gaze drops to the ground. “I am, unfortunately, not that person for you so I must kindly reject your confession.”

As you turn on your toes, Jaehyun lightly holds your wrist to stop you. “But, you know all those things about me. Is there anything I can do to prove that we belong together?”

“I know them because I care enough to remember things you tell me, not because I loved you enough to observe these things about you. I give you my word that there is nothing you can do to prove me otherwise.” The corners of his lips dip downward and you’re running to the one person that will erase this sad rejection from your memory.

When you’re scanning the Great Hall for any sign of him, he’s not there and it leads you to his only hiding place. Doyoung loves to shut himself out from the rest of the school whenever he gets the chance. However, a lost Hufflepuff wandering outside the entrance of the Slytherin dormitories is rather an odd sight to see and you haven’t had the chance to form many connections from this house.

The sparse amount of Slytherins you know aren’t going to be passing by, unless with some stroke of luck, someone will be kind enough to open the door for you. Every person passes by you with questionable stares until a silver haired boy blinks at you with wide eyes.

“Who is it that you’re trying to see?” He asks abrasively, but softens his tone when he realizes that you mean no harm.

You bid him a small grin, “your Prefect.”

“And what for?”

“There is an urgent matter that involves him and he’s practically unreachable when he’s hiding away in his private room.” The boy narrows his eyes at you, but beckons you to follow him down to the Slytherin dungeon.

Excitedly, you hurry behind him and whisper over his shoulder, “what’s your name?”

“Nakamoto Yuta. No need to tell me yours, I’ll doubt he’d want me to know.” He spits and then, mutters the enchanted password to reveal the large green common room. “Come this way.” He leads up the boys’ dorms and walks briskly. Although you never mentioned a name, Yuta seems to already know who you’re here to see and it makes you wonder how he must know.

“Open up.” Yuta stops and knocks at the wooden door, Kim Doyoung written in a fancy penmanship on the center. “You have a guest.” He looks your way before rolling his eyes at Doyoung’s irritated tone through the other side.

“Tell them to leave.”

“He wants you to leave.” Yuta repeats, mostly to satisfy Doyoung’s nag.

“That’s fine. Thank you for bring---” The door swings open abruptly and Yuta almost loses his balance. Doyoung frantically turns his head side to side to comprehend what he is seeing. His ears felt deceived, hearing your voice through the door, he had to make sure it wasn’t you.

But you stand before him and Yuta. Here you are approaching him whenever he least expects it. “What are you doing here?”

“I came by to see you. I’ve been here plenty of times.”

“What are you doing bringing her in?” scolds Doyoung and the other boy shrugs carelessly.

“What was I supposed to do? Let her bat puppy eyes at several other Slytherins and have her telling everyone who passes her that she came here to see our Prefect? It was also getting cold out.” Yuta mumbles, but finds great entertainment at seeing how frazzled Doyoung has gotten by your presence.

“It was a bit chilly.” You admit and Doyoung groans, pulling you into his room and shutting the door on Yuta. “Thank you, Yuta.” You whisper through the crack between the door frame.

“It’s too risky for you to be searching for me around other Slytherins.” Doyoung paces the room and you notice his tie is loose and shirt is unbuttoned around his neck. “Why are you here?”

“A Gryffindor blew me off. I thought I’d come and see you with all the free time I can get.” Taking a seat at the end of his neatly made bed, your legs swing adorably and Doyoung almost doesn’t hear you.

“Jaehyun? Does he think he’s too good for you or something? That cocky dimple Gryffindor, with the draw of my wand---” Doyoung whips out his intricately customized Dragon Heartstring, and you’re on your feet to calm his temper down.

“Will you put that thing away? I’m here for you.” Your giggle warms his tight chest and puts out the fueling flame for anyone who dares to hurt you in any way. “It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time it has happened.”

Doyoung uncomfortably clears his throat and withdraws his wand. Buttoning up his shirt, he fixes his tie back in place. To say the least, your words erupted his festering jealousy and this may have been a small tipping point.

Before you had entered, he was so frustrated with himself and you. You can just walk away with another man without a second thought, in front of him too. He remembered the soft feeling of your body and how he’s not the only one who’s needy hands ran their course over you. That may be the one pain he can never get rid of.

“I never understood why you give other men the time of your day when they just brush you off undeservingly.” He stings and you’re slightly surprised at his sudden attack. When you respond in silence, he continues.“I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?”

Crossing your arms, your weight is barred on your left leg and there is a shift in your overall mood. With an eyebrow raised, you sass him back, “People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you chase after me?”

Doyoung swallows hard and blinks at you speechless. A clammy hand runs through his black strands as he tries to find any possible explanation without confessing his feelings. If he had a plan to confess, it would never be in the middle of an inquisition with you.

“I guess you didn’t think before acting on your desires.” And how he hated how correct that statement is. He doesn’t ever think whenever he’s around you. All his actions are conducted with his emotions and the feelings that overtake him.

Doyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at your rash comment. “Aren’t you supposed to have the strongest morality among all the houses?”

“Sleeping with multiple men isn’t morally wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it…” The slight hurt from his question is difficult to ignore, but you must remember one thing if you want to protect your heart on your sleeve. This is nothing serious to be bickering over. You two aren’t anything serious, so why feel the need to squabble over nonsense? “... it would only be wrong if someone liked me and wished to commit to me.”

Your eyes meet and Doyoung blinks at you with wide eyes. His Adam’s Apple bobs as he gulps again, completely whiplashed at how the conversation has turned. “And if that’s the case and you like me, would that make you jealous, Doyoung? That’s why you’re trying to poorly attack my character?” He’s never heard such a strong taunt in your tone and he’s baffled by it, slightly aroused, but shocked.

“I don’t like you.” His voice is small and he pouts his lips at you. Doyoung crosses his arms and perhaps, his sad expression reveals a little more than it should have. Your heart softens at his ridiculously cute response, had you expected something much more angry and vindictive.

“Then this conversation is over, right? I’ll be on my way now. I have herbology.”

“We have the same class.” He grumbles, grabbing his robe from his desk chair.

You open the door to make your exit, “but since you don’t want to be seen with a Hufflepuff, I’ll go ahead first.” When you stumble out into the hallway, a recognizable face brightens at your appearance.

“Haechan! Hello, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You’re cheering and Doyoung chews the inside of his cheek. His pride is left at the door and along with all the things that hold him back from you, he doesn’t want to push you away anymore.

“My favorite Hufflepuff, are you just leaving?” Haechan walks up to open his arms, wishing to embrace you in the longest hug. However, Doyoung quickly takes you by your hand and rushes past him.

“She came to walk with me to class. Bye Haechan.” And Haechan is left standing in the middle of the hallway, confused and watching your backs as you’re both briskly walking out the common room.

Doyoung looks back at you, “you think I’m going to let you walk out of my room and have another Slytherin walk you to class? Don’t be so foolish.”

But you are foolish. Your heart beats foolishly and loudly for Kim Doyoung. And may you be foolish enough to wonder if his heart does the same for you.

And it does. Foolishly. Loudly. Lovingly.

You both wonder if this vicious cycle will ever meet its end. Doyoung pushes you away by ignoring your existing relationship, but pulls you back into his embrace as if it never happened. You push him away by running off with other men, but come back to him as if he’s the one person you’re loyal to.

But on this particular night, after mass circulation of rumors reaches the ears of the lovesick Slytherin, Doyoung is pulling you away from your huddled group of friends in the middle of the long corridor hallways. Without any greeting, any spoken words, he’s dragging you to his room right in front of everyone to see. His hand around yours like it was two days prior, but with an expression so grave on his sullen face.

The silence between you two brings no comfort, but you don’t dare say the first words. Doyoung, finally, approached you first in public and it is possibly for a greater reason. Perhaps you’ve done something horribly wrong, and the moment you two step into his room that you’ll hear a mouthful.

However when he closes the door to his room, your hand immediately drops from his embrace and he turns to face you. There is a darkness in his eyes, one that light cannot touch, and his lips are tight in a line.

There is an eerie silence that fills the dark room and the murky windows paint the area an ominous green. Doyoung focuses on your confused, yet adorable expression. “Why did you lie to me?”

The door catches your slight stumble and you’re blinking cluelessly at him. “About what?”

“Jaehyun.” He breathes the name in spite and aggressively loosens his tie. “He didn’t blow you off. You rejected him and he’s telling everyone it's because you’re in love with someone else.”

You scorn at such a ridiculous rumor and for the fact that it’s even made its way around to Doyoung. Another realization hits you. All it took for him to approach you in public is a meaningless rumor.

So in response, you laugh and it mocks him further. “This is not a laughing matter, y/n.”

“I’m sorry, but why are you so upset at that? Fine. I did lie to you, but I never told Jaehyun I was in love with anyone else.”

“Are you in love with someone else?” Doyoung says with balled fists at his side. There is a mixture of anger and sadness running through his veins and he’s so sick of feeling this way.

Your hesitation speaks for you, “It’s better that you don’t know.”

“You say this every time and it does nothing to ease my conscience.” Doyoung throws his hands in the air and stares at you with sharp eyes. “Is that why you were afraid that my emblem wouldn’t show up? Because your heart belongs to another. Yeah, I heard Jaehyun wanted to mark you too.”

Men and their constant want to prove something to themselves with their marks. Everyone has a twisted reality of markings now. There have been many others who have tried to mark you, feeling as if lust would be enough to suffice its appearance. As one's Patronus is special to their own protection, a beloved’s Patronus mark holds the same value.

You’re quite at a loss for words, “I was afraid that it wouldn’t show up, not because of myself, but because of you.”

Doyoung points at himself in disbelief. Him? He loves you more than anyone he’s ever encountered, even if you didn’t know it. “I wouldn’t have almost tried it if I wasn’t sure of myself.”

“You don’t love me, Doyoung. I don’t even know if I can even say you romantically like me.” Those words hurt the both of you and it lingers in the room for longer than you’d like.

“Do you think I fuck you meaninglessly like all those other losers you sleep with?” Doyoung steps forward, pulling you into his chest and admiring everything he’s fallen in love with. A pain spreads across his heart as he thinks of you with another person, of someone else kissing you, of someone else making you happy.

“You really don’t feel it in the way I kiss you?” He asks once more and your own stare drops to his shoulder, a bit ashamed to maintain eye contact with such pained eyes.

“And if I did? How would you explain that? That you are actually in love with me?” Your questions pelt him like rocks. As he pushes you on his bed, you pull him down with his tie.

Doyoung drinks you up like fresh water, a crisp and refreshing love that encourages him to reach heights. His hand cups your face and his feather touches reminds you of his gentleness. Your lips taste like sweet honey, dripping and coating him with a sticky sugar.

He’s happier with you and he’s the happiest kissing you. Perhaps, it’s hard for him to express with words, but he’d always hope his actions speak louder. So, his lips press against yours with a whirl of passion and every good feeling that grows in his chest.

The collar of his shirt is wrinkled in your fist and you’re holding him as if you’re afraid of him letting go. Doyoung runs a hand down your torso and lifts the end of your skirt up. A warm hand pushes your legs apart and a finger presses your clit through your cotton panties.

Your mouth opens into a moan and he takes this opportunity to shove his long tongue inside, lapping with your own. As a wet spot forms on your panties, he pulls them to the side and gathers the slick to gently rub your erect clit. His name is lost and muffled in the kiss, but you tap at his chest.

When he breaks away and halts all movement, he looks down over you with a fire burning in his dark orbs. And a confession falls from his swollen lips, “may I mark you?”

“And if it doesn’t show up?” Though, you’re wishing to the most powerful wizards that it does or else your heart would shatter into a million pieces beyond repair.

He bites his lip and every possible outcome scatters his thoughts. It’s too hard to concentrate, so he doesn’t at all. He focuses on your pretty lips and the way you look at him like he’s the only person that matters. “Then, we’ll deal with the consequences later.”

With your quick nod, Doyoung attaches his lips to your neck and harshly sucks at your skin. For the most part, it’s a pleasurable feeling and sends a shiver down your spine. So, he licks and nibbles until he can barely breathe. Your faint scent of patchouli and ginger intoxicates him, wraps him up in a fuzzy coziness that is unmatched.

Your hands unbutton his shirt and a final gentle bite seals his mark. If the love is reciprocated, the emblem would take a moment to form. Doyoung is rather hopeful and excited, as he’s never seen his Patronus before. “You look beautiful.”

“And you look dazed as if someone charmed you.” You giggle and kiss his red lips.

“You’re quite the powerful one, my Puff.” He smiles against your jaw before proceeding to your mess down below. He gives your aching clit a few licks, which cause your body to twist and turn at the sensitive sensation.

“Please, I haven’t felt you in so long.” Whining and tugging at his hair, Doyoung leaves a lasting kiss and gets up to remove his pants.

“Did you miss me?” Doyoung raises a suggestive eyebrow and cocks his head to the side in mockery, a smirk growing on his face.

You reply with a silly response that only he knows and causes him to chuckle, “unfortunately.” And he’s finding every way not to confess his endearments for you.

His dick stands tall and proud against his abdomen, giving it a few jerks as he watches you strip out of your own clothes. You turn around and sit on your knees, with a slight tilt forward and the arch in your back to accentuate your ass.

Doyoung rolls on the protection as quickly as he can. His hands lightly smack your cheeks and slowly enters your dripping hole. His hands grip your hips as he slides deeper into you, both being moaning messes at the delicious feeling.

“Have you always been this big?” You look back at him and to which he devilishly smiles at you.

“You know just the way to fuel my ego,” when his length is fully buried inside of your tight walls, he wraps an arm around your waist and a hand on your tit. “After all the times you’ve been fucked, your pussy is still as tight as ever.”

Doyoung slams hard into you, showing no mercy and causing you to jolt up. He takes every frustration, every feeling of anger, every ounce of jealousy into his thrusts. “But you take me so well, darling. I’ve never seen someone as pretty as you.”

His compliments cause your heart to soar, despite the soreness you’re beginning to feel in your pussy. He’s relentless, bottoming out until his tip is practically in your guts. “Just like that, baby. You’re the only one who fucks me this good.”

He blushes under the low light and leans forward to kiss the top of your head. “My Puff, you’re so sweet to me.” The loud squelch of your tight pussy gripping his dick fills the hot room, “and so wet.”

You’re shamelessly dripping on his green velvet blanket and Doyoung picks up his speed. Your knees give out as you fall face forward into the mattress, hands in fists from the incredible pleasure of every hit. Your ass now in his full view and every tingle of magic lights up in his veins.

Your throat is raw from screaming and moaning, Doyoung holds your hips steady to thrust into a new angle. Automatically, your body twitches as his tip hits your special spot and he’s well aware that you’re close to releasing.

And with his fast thrusts, he asks you an intimate question that is fueled by envy and rage. “If I fuck you the best, then why do you sleep with other men?”

There are no thoughts in your mind to even give him a white lie, to mask the truth of your actions. He’s fucking you into an oblivion that it’s hard to even focus on anything besides pleasure. The books on his shelf begin to tremble as you’re crying out, “I- I don’t know! Fuck, please… ! I’m tipping over.”

“Answer the question or I will stop.” He’s absolutely cynical and you have every reason to believe his threat. Doyoung lifts your limp body upright, against his torso and an arm secured around your middle as before. His hand snakes to your clit, rubbing feathering circles over the neglected bud.

Nonetheless, his single action paired with his tip grazing harshly against the particular spot causes your legs to tremble. “Do you want me to stop?” His threat rings in your ears when you still left him without an answer.

You’re so close, you’re starting to see white. So, you say what your heart tells you and the truth falls from your lips in a loud confession. “Because I wanted you to love me instead! I fucked them to forget about my love for you… fuck, I’m--”

“I’ve got you. Let go of yourself, baby.” Doyoung slows his hips when your walls squeeze around him sporadically. Every book flies out and hits the opposite wall, clattering the floor with heavy academia. However, he repeats your proclamation endlessly in his mind and his heart surges with the most intense romantic desires.

“I do love you, y/n.” He whispers, cumming into his rubber and simply holding you tightly. He lets go of every prideful arrogance in his body, tossing the lame reputation he always tried to hold onto. He didn’t need that if it meant losing you. Doyoung chuckles to himself for being an obvious cliché, announcing one’s love in the midst of a lustful act. He pulls out and gently tucks you into the covers.

Breathless, you’re finally realizing his confession. “You do? Are you sure?” Any subtle movements has your aching lower half in pain, so you settle with resting on his plush pillows and await for him to join you in bed.

All this time, from beginning to now, you’ve been oblivious to his yearning looks across the Great Hall. The intensity of his kisses had been lost upon you completely as you had convinced yourself that he was incompatibly of loving you back. Even now, as you lay in slight doubt, you’re wondering how you managed to have everything fly over your head. 

When he discards his used protection and with a quick flick of his wrist, every book finds its original place on the shelf again, he enters the warm covers. Your arms wrap around his neck and you’re admiring each other’s expressions in the low light. He spots the notable twinkle in your eyes and his thumb lightly rubs your cheek.

“If the symbol of my Patronus doesn’t show, I promise to love you harder until it does.” Doyoung leaves the softest, most loving kiss on your lips. He’s more than thankful for the lack of light as he’s bashfully red all over his cheeks.

“Usually, people just give up.” Your voice is harsh, possibly from the deafening screaming of pleasure prior.

Doyoung shakes his head. He’s made too many mistakes in this relationship with you. Sleeping with another. Ignoring your existence. Being too prideful to be seen with another house. All these incidents have made him feel nothing but ugliness and distraught, and pushed you away further than how much he is able to pull you back.

He loves you. He’s in love with you. He’s fallen for you recklessly as you did off your broom the first encounter. You’re everything he’s never been and never will be, yet you don’t care. You’re by his side, despite his spitefulness and you never miss a beat. That innocent youth approach to love, oh how he wishes it never faded, and though he thought it did, it didn’t. You remain true to your character when he fights with himself internally.

“That would be a mistake and I can’t afford to keep making them.” A glossy sheen over Doyoung’s regretful eyes, but you pull him closer and you refuse to let his eyes wander.

A tired harmless sigh escapes your lips and a dreamy haze overcomes you. Besides the reminder of needing to use the bathroom flashing in your mind, there is nothing else you want to dissect. Feelings are too complex to discuss at the moment and the resolve has already passed.

Regardless of the marks appearing, you’re content with the night and for the rest of your days. Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, loves you back and the power of that alone beats any spell in those dusty old textbooks.

“Why can’t we lay here forever?” Your heavy eyelids fall slowly and your voice grows small.

Doyoung kisses your shoulder, then your neck. “That’s impossible. I can’t give you forever.” He mumbles against your skin, sending vibrations across your throat.

“You are my forever.” Doyoung halts and is left speechless as a white glowing entity catches his eye. And the absolute perfect outline of his Patronus sits underneath your jaw, brightly shining with iridescent brilliance --- he makes out the outline: a White Swan, representing his love for you. Doyoung smiles to himself and hopes for it to never fade. Perhaps, he can give you forever.

some fun critical questions to think about hehe -

why do you think y/n lied to doyoung about jaehyun confessing? why do you think yuta helped y/n enter the Slytherin dormitories? what is the meaning behind the White Swan Patronus? Why do you think y/n continued to like doyoung after all this time?

there are no right or wrong answers, just something fun to have you thinking a little more about the fic haha if you want, you can send me an ask about it :) but overall, no pressure and thank you for reading! please leave me some feedback if you can! happy new year!

READ NEXT PART

[slasherscream]

hear me out crazy ass boy gang with a s/o that writes them songs but has never shown them. randomly the guys find them knowing them some are gonna be insufferable with the amount of arrogance they now possess and some of them have no clue what to do with the concept of someone loving them and verbalizing it 🥺

A/N: oooh my gosh i'm obsessed with this concept

billy loomis: Was waiting for you to get back from school/work, and couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He wasn’t necessarily trying to find anything, but the book was on your desk- you were asking him to read it, at this point. He’s only halfheartedly looking until he realizes the words are lyrics. It doesn’t take a genius to realize the love songs are written with him in mind. At first it makes him smirk. But he can see the evolution of your relationship through the lyrics. General feelings of infatuation melting into the deeper connection of being in love with him, as opposed to being in love with love itself. It’s an ego boost, for sure. Mostly it’s a relief. Here are your feelings, written out on page, clear as day. Your every unfiltered thought. He doesn’t tell you he read the book. He just walks around with a knowing smirk on his face that you’re very suspicious of. You’re easily distracted from this onset of smugness by his sudden romantic nature. He’s never been a bad boyfriend, but he’s certainly never been so downright doting. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you decide to just enjoy this random streak of tenderness.

josh washington: You two were moving in together and he was just trying to unpack some of your boxes for you. He’s honestly just setting up your desk for you. All the boxes are marked so that either one of you can unpack anything inside with at least a vague idea of where the stuff should go. Something about the unmarked notebook that doesn’t look like its for school makes him take a look inside. When he realizes how personal it is he wants to put it down. Then he spots his name... and well, he isn’t a saint.

He melts as he goes through the pages. He knows the two of you love each other. You have to love each other, with all the bullshit you’ve been through. But he knows it’s not easy to be with him. Sometimes he worries that you’ll wake up one day and be done with him. Be done with all the problems that come with being with him. He wouldn’t blame you but the thought leaves him hollow. He doesn’t know what he’d do without you. He doesn’t know if he could handle you being gone. You love him though. It’s inked into the pages. Some songs written out slow and careful, and others written out sloppy and fast, like you had to get all the feeling out of your chest because it hurt to have it all trapped inside. You’ll walk in carrying takeout and find Josh crying. You nearly drop the food to run and comfort him. When he tells you what’s wrong - or really, what isn’t wrong, you won’t even have the heart to be angry. He looks somewhere between overwhelmed and awe. All he can think to do is pull you into his arms. He holds you so tightly you wonder if he’s afraid someone will come and take you away.

stu macher: He was just going through your stuff because he was bored, honestly. He wasn’t expecting to find anything juicy. The minute he realizes he’s holding onto a notebook full of songs he’s giddy. It’s practically a diary! You'll come into your bedroom and see him poring over your words without shame. He won’t even have the decency to stop. “Hey babe!”, will be his absentminded greeting as his eyes stay glued to a far-too-familiar book. You’ll have to literally snatch it from him. “Didn’t know you felt this way about me.” His teasing will be relentless. You’ll have to threaten to break up with him, and give him a bit of the silent treatment too. Eventually he’ll ease up on you, his grin going soft around the edges. “You should show me them on your own next time. Else I’ll have to go hunting for ‘em.” It’s not an idle threat. Now that he knows the book exists he’ll really tear up your entire house looking for it. Don’t bother trying to hide it. It won’t be worth the headache. 

jd: His first instinct is to become insufferable. As he reads more of your lyrics, he starts getting overwhelmed. Even as he holds the proof in his hands, he can barely wrap his head around you feeling so strongly about him. He traces over your handwriting and relishes every word. You'll catch him in the act but you won't have the chance to get angry. He kisses you like a man starved. Whispers every thought of love he's ever had against your lips, uncaring if he sounds obsessed. He was allowed a glimpse at your soul. It's only fair that he bares his in return.

kevin khatchadourian: Honestly was indifferent at first. He was going through your things because ‘why shouldn't he?‘ when he found all the songs. Page after page he reads. Slowly but surely it starts to get to him. The only person who's ever loved him is his father, and that love is built upon an endless tapestry of falsehoods and manipulation. His father loves someone who doesn't exist. His mother knows him, always has, but she despises him. Celia loves him, but it's pathetic. The hopeless and unthinking love of a dog. And now there's you. When he's with you he drops the act of normality he puts on for everyone else. You were around so constantly that he couldn't stomach wearing the mask 24/7. Beyond that though, there was something about you that made him want to show you everything. At first he thought he wanted to scare you. Now he doesn't know what he really wants from you.

As he reads through the pages he's sifting through your words, finding the deeper meanings. Watches as you stop writing about his mask, and start writing about him. Jagged and malicious and apathetic as he might be. You're infatuated          maybe you even love him. You've written out the words in a hundred different ways. He can see it every time you look at him, reach for him, follow him, talk to him. Reading it is different, somehow. You probably never wanted him to see these words. To know the depth of how you feel. You were probably afraid he'd mock you. A few months ago he would have. Now? He puts the book back, exactly where he found it.

He won't tell you about reading it, but the words are always on his mind. You'll think you misplaced the book one day and be beside yourself over losing it. Eventually you’ll find it again, out of the blue. Something is off about it though... but you’re not sure what. You’ll never know that what you have is a replica of the original book. A good replica, granted, but a replica nonetheless. Kevin thought about the songs too much, and committing them all to memory hadn’t scratched the itch. The constant cycle of the words running through his head. The irritation he’d feel when he forgot a part of a song, or mixed lyrics together. Having the book itself? It quieted his mind. He’s uncomfortable with the fact that he keeps it under his bed, tucked away inside a lock box, just so no one would be able to look at it. He’s never felt so protective over an item before. He tries not to think about it too much.

nathan prescott: He actually looked at your song book on accident. He needed to borrow some notes for a class and you told him he could just go to your room and grab them. He would never go searching for something like that. Saying he values his privacy would be an understatement, so he'd never disrespect yours. As soon as he realizes these are songs he wants to stop reading... but he's desperate to know what you think of him. People lie so easily, but here's a chance to see the raw truth of how you feel. He's terrified as he starts to read. Then he's just shocked. He'd hoped you weren't like everyone else around him. Wanting him to fail, to lose it, waiting for some sort of pay-off or trickle down. Even if you were, he wanted you so badly he was willing to have you any way you came, as long as you stayed. But here you are, your deepest feelings written out in ink, and you love him. You don't even pity him, you ache for him, want him. The next time he sees you he tells you he loves you for the first time. You'll never know that he read your songs, you'll only notice how much your relationship seemed to change over night.

sebastian valmont: Has to deflect. The only reason he’s being such an asshole about your songs is because he’s trying to deflect. He’s the only one here who has also written about you. Maybe not in lyrics, or in poetry, but he’s written about you. His diary is full of you. He started writing about you the moment he met you. Not unusual for him, considering absolutely everything is in his journals. But from the start there’s been something different about the entries that mention you. All his words suddenly become electric, leaping off the page. His descriptions of you, of the time you spent together, nearing obsessive in their detail. As if you were a puzzle he was trying to solve.

If there’s anything Sebastian is good at its manipulation. He knows he has you. He can have anyone, if he puts his mind to it. He’s made people fall in love with him before. There’s a long line of people who wants his head on a platter for that very reason. You’re the only prize that’s ever mattered, though. He has you now, sure. But what about tomorrow? Or the day after that? It’s easy for eyes to wander, for the heart to turn fickle. Sometimes he watches you and tries to imagine what you might want from him. Tries to figure out what he could do to keep you interested from moment to moment. If he ever shared his worries with you, his worries that you could just get bored with him and leave, just like that - you’d tell him you don’t want him to be anyone but himself. And Sebastian doesn’t want to be anyone but himself, he doesn’t. But people contain multitudes, are more than a single face. He’d rather be a version of himself that captivates you then a “true” version of himself that you can grow tired of.

But here’s written proof that you love him. As he is. All the long nights you’ve spent talking to one another, side by side. The conversations where you traded barbs and philosophy, and everything in-between. The dinners, and picnics, and phone calls, and rooftops. He was so busy observing you, and trying to create a version of himself that you could love, that he forgot that there was something real for you to fall for. Didn’t even know how much of himself he was earnestly offering to you. Now he can see it in ink, and it’s scary, even with how much he loves you, to realize how much of the real him you know.

So he’s an asshole for a few days. When you confront him he falls apart like a wet sandcastle. You won’t have time to get angry before he’s pushing his own journals into your hands. Sebastian has never played fair, but something about you seeing through him despite all his masks made him want to show you more. As scary as it had been, it was also a moment of pure connection. The most electric, addicting thing he’s ever felt. He wants to feel it over and over again.

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.