#I’m always amazed by how fully they manage to fuck shit up

[mascwoman]

On our truck today, the distribution center rammed two pallets into each other so hard that the pallet they were loading went fully underneath the one in front of it. Truly impressive and a feat of engineering.

[kelin-is-writing]

ASKJLAWKDJFJAKKDDN

CONGRATS ON 500 FOLLOWERS 🥳💕

and since it's time to celebrate i brought a special little dabi thought with me hehe

it took him a while to fully trust you even after you started dating. but once he's sure he can trust you wholeheartedly he finally opens up about his past. he even goes as far as telling you his real name but the way he talks about it makes it obvious that he doesn't like the name since it's tied to many horrible memories.

you make sure not to bring it up unless he initiates a conversation about his past which made him trust and love you even more (although he had thought that was impossible)

well and then you mess up. it happened in the heat of the moment while dabi was balls-deep inside of you. already thoroughly fucked out it just kinda slipped and when he heard you say his real name for the first time his brain practically short-circuited.

the only thing on his mind now was to hear you say it again and again until all you managed to produce were broken whimpers and moans.

he can't believe how lucky he is to have you in his life. someone who really sees him for once and doesn't cast him aside like a broken toy.

he's not dabi around you anymore from that night on. he's touya now when he's with you and he'll make sure it stays that way. the ring that's hidden in his coat's pocket (which he actually paid for) was only the beginning.

- 🥛

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR THE CONGRATULATIONS ON 500+ FOLLOWERS 🥳🎉🎊

and thank you so so much milk for always supporting me and sending such amazing asks all the time, it makes me feel truly happy and appreciated as a writer and also as a friend, because we share to each others thoughts through asks almost everyday, which makes me always hyped and looking forward to what you send for me!!!! 😁💕

and damn—

dabi is all badass and gangsta until you moan a “touyahhn!”, that comes out super erotic. he stills inside of you while glancing down your way with wide turquoise eyes as his hand goes to rest under your right knee “what did you just call me, princess?”, the villain questioned almost breathless, realizing what you did your hand flies in front of your mouth alarmed before you bite your bottom lip “i’m sorry i– ack!”, before you can even finish dabi’s his had snapped against yours sharply, making your body bounce upwards from the action, confused eyes looking at your boyfriend who was simply staring at you with a dark glint inside his orbs “tell me, what did you just call me princess?”, you gazed back at him unsure before answering finally “touya...”, your cheeks immediately turned red as you felt his dick getting more huge, than it already was, inside your cunt “shit– ‘ s not funny baby... if you my name like that, how am i supposed to not fuck you hard?”, and pressing your right leg against your chest, the raven haired boy started to slap his hips roughly against your getting drunk on the sweet moans leaving your mouth “say the name love, say it for me...”, he coos with a lovesick glint inside his eyess more intense than the other times, his hips rolling so deliciously against yours that you almost forgot what dabi just asked “touya... ahh... ngh– touya!”, you moaned resting both hands on his shoulders while arching your back at every thrust, but what you didn’t expect was for him to pick up pace out of nowhere as his hands went to grab your hips to pin you on place so he could pound your sopping wet pussy harder, getting like that a moan so loud you could bet everyone in your condo heard it “yes baby, my princess, my love, my everything, i’m here. feelin’ good?” “hmn so good, touyaaaa!”, you cried out surrounding his neck with your arms clenching around his length when the tip hit a spongy spot inside of you, it made your head spin and dabi’s hips stutter suddenly “argh–! fuck yeah... you feel so damn amazing y/n... ahh–!”, he heaved rasply while snapping his hips into yours with staccato groans, eye rolled almost completely to the back of his head while mouth was left gaping, that sight only was enough to make you cream all over his dick to the very base of it with a whiny loud moan “t-touya! inside! i want your cum inside!”, you begged closing your legs around his hips to stick him flush against your pelvis, pleading teary eyes looking at him so needy he let out a pleased groan as his arms went to hug your body beneath him, forehead resting against the pillow as he gritted his teethes hard “say no more!”, and with one last thrust he painted your walls with white ropes that drooled from inside your pussy to his pelvis, your heavy pants and the smell of sex filling the room “fuck... i love you so damn much baby...”, dabi spoke, his cheek now resting against your cleavage as he looked at you with loving and mesmerised eyes “i love you so damn much too, touya...”, you said back surrounding his head with one harm, to hold him close to your chest, while caressing his cheek with your thumb and tenderly smiling down at the villain who felt his heart flutter because of your words, your expression, your voice, your touch, everything.

once again the arsonist came to the conclusion of one sure thing: he wanted to marry you so bad.

[kavalyera]

On the Marquis de Gramont’s backstory(personal theory and own opinions)

“He[Bill Skarsgård] came to be, he goes, ‘I want to do a little bit like fucked up French like Cajun accent.’ I’m like, ‘I have no idea what that sounds like.’ Some people gave us shit a little bit because it’s not a good French accent. I’m like, ‘Guys, it’s not supposed to be French.’ Like, he wasn’t trying to be French, he’s a guy that speaks French.”

— Chad Stahelski on the Josh Horowitz Happy, Sad, Confused podcast

(“Marquis(de Gramont)” and “Vincent” used interchangeably)

I know that the Marquis has like the most fucked up accent out of all John Wick characters seen so far but this line from the director himself, Chad “would beat us up for all the shit we say on Wickblr” Stahelski is just giving me a whole lot of ideas on his backstory.

Unlike the characters seen before, Vincent [the Marquis] is one of the characters whose backstories are not explained or even touched on upon like the Adjudicator and the Harbinger. Santino for example, and I’m gonna use Santino as an example because he and Vincent share parallels— What do we know about Santino? Santino was there to help John on the night of his impossible task, establishing a connection between antagonist and protagonist in writing, Santino has a sister named Gianna, Santino’s father dies and bestows his seat to his sister instead rather than her. And then, Santino also owns a museum in New York.

But what do we know about the Marquis? Other than how he came into the Table there is literally nothing else about him. Just like the Adjudicator, there’s nothing much else to know about him or his backstory.

“Although claiming to enforce the will of the High Table, the Marquis' primary ambition is to further his own power and he only cares about the Table's rules in as much as they advantage him. When they work against him, he is happy to bend or even fully disregard them.”

— John Wicki

John Wick is like a world of high people, it’s larger than life and it’s practically a near fantasy world filled with neon fight scenes and showy places and characters.

There’s no reason as to why the High Table chose him specifically to take down John but seeing as how brutal his character is, and how much remorse he lacks towards other people underneath him shows what kind of person the High Table is looking for. And Vincent manages to cloak his violent tendencies underneath a layer of sophistication.

“The Marquis is a young man of unknown origin who has quickly climbed the ladder within the High Table doing god knows what. I always saw him as someone from the gutter that now savors the glittery suits he’s wearing. He functions as the new sheriff set out to rid the world of John Wick once and for all. John’s getting old and tired, the Marquis is offering him a way out. To be the one who finally kills the Baba Yaga would secure his status and power within the High Table.”

— Bill Skarsgård on an on-set interview

I’ve always thought of Vincent as a sort of actor knowing the movies. He’s amazing at networking, it’s one of his only skills according to the Wiki other than multilingualism. This is a personal theory of mine, so you can disagree: but I go with Bill Skarsgård’s interpretation of his character’s backstory. Well, kind of. I agree with the fact that the Marquis climbed the ladder of the ranks, but I do not think he was struggling as a child considering the House of Gramont.

Since this is my own personal opinion and theory on his backstory, I personally believe that the Marquis may have just been another person in the criminal underworld/not even considering to be an agent.

I’ve always been a fan of the idea of characters starting from the bottom and then using non-violent measures to get to the top. And to me, Vincent is a very good example of this(in this theory). But he doesn’t agree to the rules, we see this in the very last scene where Vincent takes Caine’s gun to finish John off himself— but that proves horribly for him.

Like every other antagonist against John before him, the Marquis is arrogant and prideful�� probably the wealthiest character we’ve seen so far(considering we haven’t seen the High Table).

And I can see where that arrogance and pride may come from. Now with Bill’s interview, I think he did climb the ranks however I don’t think he was struggling from poverty. In my opinion, he looks to have the mindset of a guy from the upper class/upper-middle class and coming back to Santino who Vincent shares a lot of traits with, I sort of believe Vincent to mirror Santino’s a lot more than just being from poverty or just a civilian.

So, to sum it up: he’s adopted by the House of Gramont. And in the middle of it all, he may have went through something that got him interested into getting more power.

In my own headcanon, I think he has a sort of trauma that leads him into getting desperate for power. We see it on the screen, Vincent gets upset and frustrated when he’s not being seen with respect or if his ego feels threatened.

have a nice day folks!! :33

[carmenized-onions]

Okay first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’m so glad you were born and that you put this story out into the world, because I am fucking obsessed. So.

These last few chapters were amazing and I’m caught up now, and I did work out that Chip was named Chip because of the chip, and what the necklace was — but NOT that she was Michaels sponsor! I thought the bank account was some kind of sobriety chip shorthand but I couldn’t make it make sense and that’s because that was NOT in fact what it was about. This is brilliant, I loved the mic drop at the end of chapter 12, and just UHH I LOVE IT ALL

love that Tony finds Tina scary, i have a coworker who’s so similar to her and I was TERRIFIED til I managed to earn her trust and respect (which literally took me a year).

love the way you worked in real lines from the EC’s interaction in s3, and how you added that line about Tony leaving… so PERFECTLY in character and just so right and I’m starting to go incoherent now but I just think that moment was excellent, chef

The Narcan scene, oh my heart

THE SCENE WHERE RICHIE DESCRIBES HOW LUCKY HED BE TO HAVE TONY TO THE EC IN FRONT OF CARMY ALL I CAN DO IS SMASH EJRHEBSHSHDSLZNDBSKALW

Mikey in the walk-in, Jesus take the wheel

Also I need to conclude by quoting you to you:

The value is in the time, not what is delivered. It does not need to be the most special, hyper condensed, hyper focused, upper echelon second to count. It will count because it counts. Time spent is worth it, no matter what was bought.

That is POETRY, right there. You are doing SUCH AN AMAZING JOB WITH THIS, Tony feels so real and it is just a pleasure and a goddamn delight that also makes me cry. I hope your birthday was great and you are great and your life is great because your writing in general and this fic in particular are FUCKING GREAT

I think this is the only ask I will be getting through for the twenty minutes left of my lunch break LMAO so lets CRACK THE FUCK IN!! 

Thank you for the birthday wishes and being glad I was born. Thank you for being born! Also, I hope YOU are this same anon that feared their ask being eaten, but if that anon is out there reading this. If you’re not this one. Then yes your ask was eaten baby I’m so sorry. 

The bank account was such a wonderful and unexpected red herring for people and that does make me very happy— Just slightly threw everyone off their rhythm. Chapter 12/13 both have the craziest Mic Drops, I love saying and ending on the most crazy shit. 

Tina was so scary to me in S1 because all I want to do when it comes to older female agro coworkers is impress them so much and if they DONT like me I’ll fly off my balcony on god. IT TAKES SO LONG TO EARN THAT RESPECT!! And now I think their relationship (Tony and Tinas) in like Chapter 2 seems so much softer and cuter now knowing that Tony had to work for that shit lmao. 

THANK YOUUU the scene with David in S3 was SO well-timed because it’s very clearly like, the moment before I think Carmy will go on his fucking S4 bender (ideally of self growth) and so I just got to go “alright, we’ll just skip like MOST of Season 3 and go right to 4 ig”. Love that for writing. I don’t have to rework with SHIT! 

RICCHIIEEEEEEE, I love him so much. My guard dog extraordinary. My hero. 

Thank you for quoting me to me, I really injected a lot of my poetry/prose style writing into this chapter, I was so hoping the every second counts bit would hit, and I’m glad it did. I personally also always thought of EVERY SECOND COUNTS as a super fucked stressful thing until S2 with Richie and Andrea. I fully also did not get it, like Carm. They smacked the shit out of me with that one. 

Thank you thank you thank you for all your thoughts and praises and well wishes— I hope hope hope you love the next chapter, I also hope hope hope I get this chapter out tonight I’m fucking ITCHING bro. Honestly, quick poll before I go back to work:

THANK YOU LOVE YOU HOPEFULLY SEE YOU TONIGHT!

[minnieprincess77]

BEST morning

You slowly blink your eyes open. The sun is just coming up but you’ve woken up because you feel something uncomfortable. Whilst you’ve been asleep your pyjama shorts have slipped slightly sideways exposing you. Normally you wouldn’t care but your best friend and secret crush stayed over last night and the last thing you would want is for him to wake up and be weirded out to find you exposed like this. That is until you slightly shift back about to rearrange your shorts you feel something brush up and slip inside your pussy lips practically grazing your clit, you start to get extremely wet extremely quickly feeling Jisungs hard dick pressed against you in the most delicious way with only the fabric of his boxers separating you. You pull forward slightly and grind backwards you hear a small moan escape his mouth. He’s still asleep and his heavy breathing on your neck makes you more aroused and your nipples hard. Oh god you wish you could feel him in you. At that moment you get the most devious idea, it might be the fact that you’ve made yourself cum to the thought of this man filling you up so many times. It could just be the horny demon that decides to take over at that moment but you’re not going to pass up the chance of a lifetime to wake your friend up in the best way.

Rolling your hips forward just enough to gently free his rock hard morning wood from his boxers, being so careful to not wake him and ruin your surprise you manage to get the job done with a small whine falling from his beautiful mouth which makes you so much more impatient. You can’t wait any longer you need him in you and you need it now. Lining him up you start to push yourself slowly back onto him feeling every inch stretch you in the most addictive way. If you could wake up with him inside you every day you would he feels so good. His dick is perfect he’s above average but has a lot of girth and it’s taking everything in you to not let out a loud moan feeling him fill you up until he’s fully in you. You immediately start to move back and forth arching your back so you can press your ass back as far as you can you need as much of him in you as is physically possible! Oh god you’re so wet and he feels so fucking good you start to move faster riding him sideways. Suddenly you feel hands grab your hips and a moan sounds right beside your ear. He’s awake!! “oh fuck, shit you feel so fucking tight around me baby! I thought I was dreaming of you again but look at you I can’t believe you’re taking me so good this is so much better than any of my dreams” he says, his voice deeper than usual from sleep which turns you on even more you roll your hips backwards again and let out the most sinful moan, thank god you don’t have to be quiet anymore it was getting impossible to keep quiet considering he was hitting all the right spots inside you.

“Ji……mmmm……I need you. I can’t wait……. Oh fuck…… I need you to fuck me hard….. please!!!!!!” You gasp out in between strokes. “FUCK you don’t have to ask again baby I’m going to make you feel fucking amazing, I've wanted this for so long. I’ve always wondered how you would feel” he says. He reaches one hand around to feel you he runs his fingers through your folds and finds your clit rubbing you so you’re starting to head towards your release. “SHIT you’re so wet baby is this all for me??” You just whimper and nod then another idea comes to mind you grab his hand and stop him for a minute so you can do what you need to do to get him to fuck you as hard as he’s ever fucked anyone. You know what will drive him insane. You run two fingers through your folds collecting all the good juices up and slowly look over your shoulder into his beautiful eyes while you take your slicked up fingers and put them into his mouth. He devours your fingers you swear you can hear him growl and groan he wasn’t expecting you to do that. His eyes roll backwards “my god you taste so fucking good” with that he looks at you and you could cum from the sight alone but his pupils are fully blown out now. Suddenly your leg is hitched up over his thigh and he grabs your hip and starts to fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked before hitting your g spot with each thrust. Your fingers are out of his mouth now and you’re grabbing the sheets practically screaming because of the pounding you’re being given. You asked him to fuck you hard and damn is he doing what you asked. Jisung is making the most beautiful noises behind you he grips your hip with one hand and your hair with the other and fucks into you with everything he has he’s going to make sure that you scream his name and never want anyone else again. “Fuck… fuck.. baby I’m not going to be able to last much longer you’re gripping me so tight and you feel too good but I need you to cum on me hard. Then I’m going to fill you up baby I promise I’ll fill you deep inside” he’s panting and you’re so close because that’s the hottest thing anyone has ever said to you, the thought of him cumming so deep inside you makes the loudest moan followed by you begging him to not stop a few more thrusts hitting just the right spot and you’re seeing stars. You’ve never cum so hard in your life you’re screaming his name just the way he hoped you would and the wetness that comes out of you and the way your pussy clenches around him you feel him stutter and then he grabs both your hips and thrusts one last time so hard and so deep you feel him start to fill you up it feels so so good you want him to fill you over and over and never stop. After he has given you everything he has got and you have both come down from your orgasms you look back over your shoulder to see him staring at you biting his bottom lip. Oh fuck he’s never looked sexier sweat all over hair messy and a look in his eye you’ve never seen before. He slowly pulls out and you feel his cum start to slowly seep out of you but you don’t care all you know is you want, no, you need to kiss him right now. It seems you both have the same idea because he turns you over so you’re facing him and kisses you slowly. He’s taking his time it’s so intimate and gentle nothing like the rough pounding you just got. He deepens the kiss and both of your tongues start to intertwine just slowly tasting each other, enjoying each other it’s so sexy it’s taking your breath away. You’re melting into each other and you could kiss him forever. After a while you break away from the kiss and you just look at each other breathless love pouring out between you and your best friend. He leans over and places a sweet kiss on your lips and gives you that wicked smile you love so much and says “well you’ve just given me not just a good morning but the best”

[applesandbannas747]

Got the prompts 🎨 👀 ✅ 🤲 from @seijis-epee!

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I mean is there any way to feel about it otHER than feral and overwhelmed?? People caring about/connecting with my stuff enough to create art is such a profoundly amazing thing that is always a bright point in my life. Like if you looked at a timeline of my life, each piece of art is a bright star on it <3

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

hmmm there's a couple but I'll choose one that's actually coming up soon instead of years down the road XD Got a Halloween fic finally capitalizing on ghost romance (i LOVE ghost romance jsdhfa its such a dumb trope and so impractical, but something about it always haw me going owo). The starting point of the concept and the original title of the document it's kept in is 'spiritbox sexting' so be ready for that (and it is a partner project with the incredible @thestarminstrel just so you know to be excited uwu)

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

We all know me tbh kisses against the wall and thigh kisses sure are in most my heavier kissing fics XD

Seiji being a monsterfucker hilariously snuck into so many projects that eventually i had to take a step back and realize that I really do just believe in my heart of hearts that he's a monster fucker XD

And the specific trope of Jesse pouring drinks on boys when they've offended him has just snuck in so many places because it fits too well lmfaoo

there's lots of shit also that intentionally gets carried over between fics

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Remember my "Stuck With You" soulmate au series? I promise I do:

Seiji’s hand jerked away from the drawer as he jumped, not registering what had startled him until he was slipping on some piece of miscellanea Nicholas had managed to drop on his side of the room, staring at the flung-open door to his room as he began to fall backward.

Right into the wide-open eyes of his awful roommate.

Seiji could see in Nicholas’s eyes what he intended to do even before he lunged. 

“No!” Seiji shouted. He’d rather fall. He’d rather fall than have Nicholas all over him. 

But Nicholas was too fast. Seiji was already captured before he’d finished his cry. 

“Are you okay?” Nicholas asked. 

“Get off me!” 

Seiji shoved at Nicholas, but the arm around his back held tight no matter how hard Seiji pushed against his chest. At least the hand half cupping his ass, half gripping his thigh let go. 

“Sorry—,”

“What makes you think you have the right to touch me?”

“You were falling!”

“And I’d have rather fallen. Let go!”

“I—fuck, Seiji, I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? Just take your grubby hands off me!”

Seiji gave up on pushing at Nicholas. He tried to pull away instead. Only, he couldn’t. His palms, splayed flat against Nicholas’s chest, wouldn’t move, and Nicholas’s arm around his waist and hand gripping his side were similarly unbreakable in their hold. 

“No,” Seiji said, struggling harder. “No, I’m not doing this—especially not like this!” he finished shrilly, panicking at all the skin pressed up against his, warm and soft. 

It was no use. 

Miserably, Seiji gave up the futile war against their joined bodies and hid from the entire situation the only way he could. By shoving his face into the crook of Nicholas’s neck. 

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” he asked in quiet horror, fully putting together for the first time why exactly there was so much of Nicholas’s skin against his own.  

“Why are you in your underwear?” Nicholas shot back. 

[infictionalwonderland]

Marvel characters with s/o more badass than them !

characters included : tony, bruce, nat, thor, bucky, steve, wanda

warnings : fem reader, mentions of killing, murder etc, swearing, mentions of sex & sexual tings 😳✋

tony stark —

he thinks youre so hot

which of course is true

and if anyone tries to rub it in that you’re more capable and badass than him he won’t even deny it.

will hands down agree

is your number one fan

you’ve got your own specially customised to your liking super suit :)

you two are so hot

fighting hoes and still looking flawless

and ohh bitch

*fuck boy face*

you with your preferred weapon of choice, killing people left and right makes this man feel some typa wayyyy

everyone has no doubt in their mind to how to how you bagged tony

they’re all wondering how he bagged you.

bruce banner —

my mans is SHOOKETH

he always knew you were exceptionally talented in your line of work

i mean how could he not? you had literal fans left right & centre, even nick fury was impressed with you

so he didn’t really know what to expect

BUT it certainly wasn’t that.

you were so talented it honestly made bruce feel inferior yet in complete awe of you simultaneously

he’s SUCH a worrier tho

like it’s both cute & annoying

yknow?

always always always checking for injuries

as soon as you walk through the door, he’s immediately up and over to you and checking for any injuries

the smallest cut? hello first aid kit.

the most barely noticeable injury? he’s seen it as soon as you walked in.

hulk loves you, too

youse two r are literally unstoppable together

natasha romanoff —

now imma be fr..

who can be more badass than miss natasha romanoff?

that’s right, the only correct answer, no one.

so we’re just gonna put y’all at equal badassery

HOTTEST MF DUO

pls half the squad gotta take a moment to recollect themselves from the affect of both of your combined hotness

the media is all over you two

& EVERYONE is thirsting over you both

understandably so

you’re always each other’s partner for missions

and that’s just how it’s always going to be bc you guys work best together

everyone thinks you two can talk telepathically at this point

silent looks exchanged and you already have a whole plan

all in all the two of you take missions very seriously

& everyone respects that

however.. there are times were youse two just can’t help it so you snog while fighting off whatever the fuck it is this time

nobody says shit tho bc they’re fully frightened of the both of you

scariest hottest duo 😁

thor odinson —

he called it the moment he saw you

you just looked like someone that no one should mess with, and he admires that

HOWEVER

thinking it and seeing it in action are two very different things

let’s say on a mission, he’ll see you fighting and dodging and killing all while having a battle of sarcastic quips with tony over the comms

literally in awe of you

will stop and stare with literal heart eyes

will shower you in endless compliments

tony has almost blasted him out of the compound multiple times cuz in EVERY single sentence he says, he adds compliments for you.

will proudly boast about your abilities

‘yes, you must know of lady y/n, the best avenger if i do say so, i’m not quite sure how ive managed to get her to court me’

‘yes this is my partner, lady y/n, im sure you’ve heard of her’

cue smug, proud smile

the cutest <3

bucky barnes —

he’s quite sure he’s never been more turned on

seeing you, his girl, in action— fighting effortlessly and just being your badass self really gets him feeling stuff, man

like to the point he’s almost drooling tbh

you : 🦵🍑 him : 👁👅👁

in his mind, you > everyone else

no but he’s genuinely very proud of you and is, too, in awe of your fighting abilities

thinks youre so awesome and just amazing, and doesn’t understand how someone like you can love someone like him

the two of you make for scariest couple hands down

tho according to nat there’s not much competition cuz only one person in tony & peppers relationship is scary ( spoiler: it’s pep )

he always finds a way to compliment you— and most the time, the compliments are not acceptable cause we are all holy children here 👰‍♂️

taking care of each other’s wounds >>>

the sexiest sexiest duo 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

steve rogers —

🧱⬆️

if you understood that.. no you didn’t.

he’s so fducking in awe of you bby

the way you just effortlessly dodge and fight and how you think quickly on your feet—

and not to sound pervy, pls steeb is such a gentleman

but the WAY your body moves when you fight, like how all your movements are so graceful and just—

ugh. you’re perfection <3

obviously bae stays professional on the battlefield of whateva. he’s captain amercia for ... ducks sake

but he shyly compliments you after, DEFINITELY with a cute rosy blush on his cheeks

the ones on his face, i mean.

silently convinced you’re another of thor’s long lost sisters of something

you’re just too unreal to be human

in ALL aspects

wink wonk

wanda maxipadmoff —

the most concerned cute gf

knows you can handle yourself but that isn’t gonna stop her from being concerned

always there to clean and tend to your wounds when necessary <33

not that it’s necessary often cuz you don’t get injured that often

thinks you’re extremely cool

like extremely extremely cool

shyly asks you to teach her

her small little ADORABLE smile omg stop she’s so cute i cant

the two of you together >>>>>>>

probably the most shipped couple ( by the public ) of the avengers

bc of your little moments in battle that they get to see on tv :((

she’ll fly you up somewhere, arms around you bridal style and she’s holding you with so much love & care OR your on her back, head on her shoulder

and you thank her with a tender kiss & a wink with makes her brain momentarily fuzzy and noticeably red

or when you and her team up and the constant worry and intimate care for each other which is so plainly obvious

even through a tv screen

[nitewrighter]

Cindy Part 9

As always, for all parts, refer to the masterpost.

-----

“It’s foolproof,” the prince is fitting on a tricorne hat.

“It’s fool-something,” Brad mutters.

“It’s genius,” The prince is putting his hands on his hips and turning about in the mirror.

“It’s an enormous complication to security,” Brad is leaning against the wall in the Prince’s quarters.

“You’re just mad because you didn’t think of it first,” The prince is trying on a spare pair of reading glasses he nicked from his father’s office and checks his reflection again. He blinks a few times at how much clearer his own image is. Shit, he may actually need a prescription.

“I didn’t think of it because it’s an enormous complication to security,” Brad frowns.

“But I pull it off, right?” The prince steps out from behind the peacock-printed folding screen in full servant’s livery. He’s not wrong. The servant’s livery has fully activated the some-guyification of the prince. This is literally just some guy. It’s a perfect hide-in-plain-sight disguise. I mean he still looks good because goddamn if the king and queen don’t have amazing taste when it comes to their servants’ livery, but this brightly colored fancy lil outfit with perfectly tailored piping and fancy white gloves is enough to heavily distract from the prince’s face. And of course there’s the hat. The king and queen allow for the servants to have a little fun with their hats, decorate them with a feather or maybe a little sprig of flowers or maybe a cute brooch. They say it’s a ‘fun’ thing but also it’s this whole thing where they feel really rude going ‘You there, boy!’ and it’s hard to tell who’s who from far away with the uniforms so the hat flair doubles as visual shorthand for who’s who. The prince has opted for a hawk feather he found on one of his rides and he thinks this is really cool. It’s only kinda cool. But still he really looks like a servant. Brad honestly wonders why the prince’s jumpy, antisocial ass didn’t try something like this sooner.

“You pull it off,” Brad concedes, “But I’m not entirely sure what you mean to accomplish by doing it.”

“Easy!” The prince throws his hands up, “I finally figured it out! All the staff talked about how she was helping them all night at the ball, right? That’s one of the reasons why she showed up so late and well after the master of ceremonies finished announcing everyone!”

“Uh huh…” Brad says slowly.

“So if I’m a servant, and she treats me like shit, I’ll know it’s not her!”

“And what if all the shoe candidates treat you perfectly pleasantly?”

“Well it’s more than that, she goes out of her way to help people! She.. she grabs lemons from the garden! She sews… flowers in buttons!”

“Which reminds me, Danvers asked if you were going to give his jacket back, because he really does like it—”

“It’s evidence, Brad! He’ll get it back when we get to the bottom of this!”

“And you think coming along to every house along with me, will help you do that.”

“I know I’m going to know her when I see her, I—I—I can feel it.”

“And because you don’t trust the shoe.”

“PEOPLE HAVE SIMILAR FOOT SIZES AND THE SHOE DOES NOT OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. ”

“We’ve only had the laws of physics… like… what, 100 years? 200 years?”

“Longer. I mean, Newton cribbed a lot of it from Ibn Al-Haytham so…”

“You really do read too much. Anyway, what I’m saying is, maybe there’s another rule we haven’t thought of, yet.”

“And it chooses to manifest itself in a shoe?”

Brad makes an ‘I dunno sound.’ Brad is veering dangerously close to accidentally creating a new early theory of entropy before his brain manages to go, Wait the prince is tagging along for all of this and now I have to recalculate every house-casing for threats to the prince when he is not immediately recognizable as the prince. Do we leave a body-double at the palace? Goddammit I only have a couple hours to re-tool this entire fucking process.

The prince is looking at himself in the mirror again. He takes in a short huffing breath. “I think it’s definitely going to work.”

And for the most part it does.

Like, don’t get me wrong, a lot of it is still tedious as hell, but thankfully, a lot of ladies have been taken out of the running already, not by any previous shoe-related process of elimination from the Prince’s own investigations, but because, true to his word, the king matchmade the hell out of that ball in the Prince’s absence, and a lot of the attendants at the ball had already been paired off in perfectly respectable courtships. So the list is actually significantly reduced already thanks to the king’s efforts.

Still, plenty of the potential shoe-wearers don’t notice the prince any more than they notice their own furniture when they’re chatting up Brad and Gabe the valet. Sure, on a family scale, there are plenty of attempts at buttering up Gabe and Brad with tea and biscuits and fancy pickles and cold cuts, but thankfully Gabe is probably the biggest hard-ass in this story and is terrifyingly good at polite expediency, so the prince is just kind of watching Brad and Gabe speed-run through all these parents and their pretty daughters going, “Oh good sirs, welcome to our humble abode, won’t you have some terrine?” (a disturbing number of respectable families have been convinced that terrines and aspics are very fashionable and they’ll be the only ones cool and modern and cultured enough to offer it to the palace representatives—they are not.) But honestly… the prince is right. He can pretty much feel right off the bat, before the shoe is even tried on, if this isn’t the house—if that isn’t the girl.

They still try on the shoe, because obviously it’s a whole thing, and there’s this whole process about the whole thing. They measure the foot and take down the foot’s measurements on a fancy little table for future reference and research onto the properties of The Shoe that Defies All Measurement and Fitting (The prince thinks he’ll make a graph later… maybe a bell curve?? Mostly they just end up accidentally inventing those shoe-size carpets you see at shoe stores), but then the shoe doesn’t fit, and well… to be honest the reactions to the shoe not fitting turn out to be the most interesting parts of the whole thing.

“I’m having an allergic reaction. Foot’s just… swollen right up. This isn’t my usual foot size.”

“I’m really dehydrated. That’s why it’s clanking around like that. Let me get a couple of glasses of water and try again.”

“Mother? Would you have one of the maids get the lard tub?”

“Look! Behind you!” (Cue furious grunting of continuing to attempt to shove the shoe on when everyone turns around)

“Um… more cold cuts?”

“Oh thank god, this means I can join that convent.” (Cue a scandalized gasp and a furious splutter of “Amelia!” from a mother.)

And the thing is, you’d think your brain would end up glazing over all these house calls, especially when you’re looking for The Love Of Your Life. You’d think like… you’d get sick of it, get sick of people, but it turns out, when the Prince isn’t put at the epicenter of a weird ritualized glam-fest of girls competing for a chance to hop on his dick for status, when they aren’t even recognizing him as the prince, he’s actually seeing people in the context of their own homes. Like, sure, it’s definitely very appearances-minded from every family involved because they’re presenting their homes to representatives of the palace, but you pick up on vibes, you pick up on dynamics. It’s like Kitchen Nightmares: Bourgeoisie Household Edition. But also you see families that are trying to secure their futures, and girls who just want to do right by them.

There’s this one house, right? Beautiful estate—it’s on a hill all laced with vineyards and during the carriage ride there the prince is glancing at Gabe and he can tell Gabe is like, “God I hope this is the girl” partially out of exhaustion from this whole ordeal, partially because… yeah it’s a really nice estate and you wouldn’t mind sitting out on the veranda with a nice glass of chilled rosé. God Gabe wants a nice glass of chilled rosé right now. This house probably has the best snack spread yet with fancy toasted spiced nuts and sharp cheeses and olives and this really great flatbread stuff?? And the wine, holy shit, like… these families have been shoving forward black tea and lemonade and super sugary brandy to them all day, but now there’s a nice perfectly balanced white wine in these cute stemless glasses? And they’re even offering them to the prince, who, as far as they know, is a footman! Like after a day of all these families being really weird and desperate and stilted, the environment is just low-key and hospitable enough for both Brad and Gabe to be like, ‘God let this be Mystery Girl.’ And there’s this very wonderful family with loads of kids that are showing them around the estate with a very pretty eldest daughter, with bright green-brown eyes and big curly brown hair and a wide mouth that lends itself to charming expressions. And like… the prince is kind of thrown through a loop because the way this girl acts around her siblings… maybe it’s mystery girl? She’s kind of a mom, kind of an asshole when the mom can’t be, and all-around this peacemaker dealing with a messy but lovable family. Of course she wouldn’t talk about her family because family can be messy, right? Maybe all his thoughts of danger and peril and abuse for Mystery Girl sprang from him being so fucking removed from everything. Maybe he has no fucking good judgement of anything.

But then they try on the shoe.

And the shoe doesn’t fit.

And the girl’s mouth hitches and she’s just like, “…all right,” a little stiffly.

And you feel this collective crestfallen exhale from her parents and all her siblings. Like her next sister is only 11 and the sister after that is 8 so it’s like… yeah… all their hopes were resting on the eldest.

“You… you can take some of the flatbread with you, if you like, sirs,” the mother pipes up.

“I’m sorry,” the girl cuts in, “For… for wasting your time.”

“It’s fine,” the prince suddenly steps forward from his spot next to the door.

The girl instinctively springs to her feet and curtsies. “Your highness,” she says with a bow of her head.

The prince freezes. The girl’s whole family freezes. Brad freezes. Gabe is taking down notes, I don’t know what the fuck he’s writing down.

“…you knew?” The prince says slowly.

The girl looks at her family and draws herself up straight. “May we have the room?”

The parents very quickly herd all of the siblings out of the room. The prince gives an ‘It’s okay’ wave of his hand to Brad and Gabe and they back out as well. Not too far so they can’t spring into action if anything funny happens, but enough for a bit of discretion.

“I was three feet in front of you. Did… other girls not recognize you?” the girl asks.

“I’m pretty sure they’ve either got amazing poker faces or you’re the first.”

The girl gives an amused ‘Hmph’ and eases up where she’s standing a little. “I think… I should also apologize. I mean, yes I wanted to marry you, but I didn’t really care about… well… you… or my qualifications as queen, mostly I just wanted to…” the girl draws a breath through her teeth, “There was a drought a few years back and it threw our wine’s taste off and we had to raise our prices to cover the water cost. We lost a lot of customers and a lot of favor with the noble families that would usually be our patrons. Our wine’s better now, if anything, the acidity of the grapes that survived the drought lent to a better complexity of flavor with the new grapes, but… It turns out… a reputation is not as easily rebuilt as a vineyard is regrown.”

“You were trying to protect the people you love,” the prince shrugs.

The girl pushes her brown curls back from her face and looks down. “Big feet… great for crushing grapes…fitting into slippers.. not so much.”

“Mm,” the prince takes off his tricorn hat and itches at the back of his head, “You could… try it on again?”

“What?” The girl tilts her head.

“The slipper it’s like… it’s not a normal shoe. I’ve had glassmakers all over the country look at it. We’re mostly doing the foot-measurement thing to see if there’s any pattern, but like… so far? On a data-scale? Foot size is completely irrelevant. Maybe you just need to… try again?”

“It’s not me,” the girl clasps her hands in front of herself, that wide mouth quirking off to one side.

“How do you know?”

“Because I was looking at you the moment you saw her. The girl at the hors d’oeuvres table, right?”

“Do you remember what she looked like?” The prince asks on reflex, his voice denser and more desperate than he really means to sound but holy shit, a flicker of hope?

“No,” the girl replies and the prince’s shoulders sink, “I'm sorry. I really wish I could. But I saw her a while before, in the powder room. Another one of the girls was crying, some drama with her cousin or something, and.. and this girl, the girl you’re looking for, she was… holding her hands and fixing her hair, and helping dab away the smudges in her makeup, and she was saying, ‘It’s okay, you’re so pretty and brave. And this is going to be a wonderful night, I promise you, I promise you. Even if everything seems horrible now, you’re in this beautiful place. And you’re going to dance and laugh and you don’t have to let everything that hurt you take this night away.’ Just… I don’t think I would have remembered it, if not for this distinct feeling I got, that the girl who fits this slipper knew hurt more deeply than the girl crying right then would ever know.”

“I got that feeling too,” the prince says vacantly, “I mean—I wasn’t in the powder room—”

“I know, your highness.” The girl shrugs, she exhales. “I wish you all the luck in finding her.” She huffs a little. “If I may speak freely?”

“You may,” the prince replies.

“My family has this one super old story—something about a gold ball and a pond or something? But—when she’d finish the story, my grandma would tell me this: sometimes… a situation is well out of our understanding, and if that’s the case, we have to remember that appearances aren’t everything, that you have to trust your heart and your gut, and you should keep an eye out for the people who care for others at their lowest moments. Even if everyone else thinks they’re gross.”

“Like rats…?” The prince says absently.

“Rats?” The girl shudders hard. And that shudder tells the prince, ‘Nope. Definitely not mystery girl.’ “With their freaky little… clawed people-hands? Eugh. No. I was thinking… more like frogs?”

“Frogs have people hands,” the prince says vaguely.

“Frogs’ hands are webbed with four fingers. There’s a difference,” the girl rolls her eyes.

“Your highness?” Gabe sticks his head in the doorway, “I don’t mean to rush you, but…”

“Oh—” The prince glances back at the girl, “Er—thank you again for your hospitality.” He bows.

She curtsies in turn. “I hope you find her, your highness.”

“Thank you,” the prince replies.

“And once you find her.. if you need wine for the wedding…” the girl gestures vaguely and the prince snorts.

“We’ll be in touch,” he says, before stepping out with Brad and Gabe.

—-

“I’ll be honest, your highness, I’d really hoped it was her,” Gabe mutters, still taking notes in the carriage as the family waves them off.

“Brad? The palace provides wine for the castle guards, right?” The prince glances over at Brad.

“Mm-hmm,” Brad is munching on some flatbread. I mean the lady of the house said they could take some.

“And… I wouldn’t say they’re picky, are they?” The Prince tilts his head.

“You could cut it with pig piss and they wouldn’t notice,” Brad shrugs.

“Brad!” Gabe barks.

“I mean… no, your highness.”

“Let’s… order a few casks from this vineyard to have on tap at the palace?” The prince suggests, "And a few more casks for free access to the public at the harvest festival this year."

“A wise decision, your highness,” Gabe says, taking notes, “And a bold bit of proactivity, if I do say so myself.”

“It’s not that bold, I mean it’s good wine, we all tasted it,” the Prince mutters.

“He means it’s the most you’ve done in like, five years,” Brad says, still chewing on flatbread, “Aside from the glassmaker thing, I guess.”

“BRAD,” Gabe says, exasperated.

The prince just leans his head against the glass of the carriage window. “So how many more houses today?” He asks.

“Two more and then back to the palace to recap?” Gabe suggests.

The prince draws in a long tired breath. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s do this,” he says.

He keeps thinking of mystery girl while he’s seeing these families, but it’s not 100% this doomed yearning he’s been going through like in the previous days of his investigation—Mystery Girl would help these people. She’d make friends with girls like this. He keeps thinking of what she said when they were dancing. “I don’t like that, that’s fucked up!” And like… it’s really something to see these carefully laid out social dynamics actively poking and prodding these people into this weird ass situation. Like he has such a love-hate relationship with the shoe at this point, but he’s weirdly thankful for it, because it just seems to… disrupt every human preconception and every social construct it comes in contact with. It brings out a weird and authentic side of people, just as much as it refuses to fit, the crazy royalty-high stakes of the situation bring out this realization that people have so much different stuff going on.

That used to be so exhausting for him. Figuring out what’s going on with people, keeping it all lined up, helping where he can. It’s still exhausting, but the exhaustion doesn’t hit quite the same. He hits the mattress that night and he dreams… not of mystery girl… not quite. He’s chasing this ideal of a person but crashing into how people are over and over again. So this person he sees in his dream, he’s not sure it’s mystery girl, but it doesn’t matter if it’s mystery girl. It’s a bitter, complicated, stupid, selfish, awkward person, and he decides, in that moment, that he is going to do everything in his power to make sure they can live their best life.

Because he’s the goddamn prince. And that’s his fucking job. And dream or not, that's what Mystery Girl would do.

And just a few feet away from his pillow, that damn glass slipper is glittering on a pedestal in the moonlight.

[star-anise]

I'm up around 3am, thinking about incels and tradwives. (Note: If these are movements you're a fan of, or if you just want to fight with me generally, I will block you if you annoy me, and even if you behave there's a $20 fee if you expect me to actually reply to you in any way.)

This got started because of Khadija Mbowe's and F.D Signifier's videos about Black patriarchy, which has led me to pick up bell hooks' 2004 book The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love.

The thing that hooks says that really knocked my socks off in a "how dare you notice that" way is that a lot of people, men and women alike, are angry not just because of the male violence they've experienced, but because of the lack of male love they've experienced.

Which like, part of being human means that being seen and cared about is pretty viscerally equated with survival in our brains. We want it, we need it, we suffer when it isn't there. To be seen and genuinely loved by the people in our lives matters, so we are always affected when there's someone important to us who doesn't seem to see us, to love us, to care about our wellbeing, or to be proud of our accomplishments. It matters to be disregarded, rejected, or shamed by someone we want to love us.

But no power in the world can compel another person to give a shit about you—a truth most of us spend our lives frantically suppressing because being unloved is terrifying, so we work at being better, more attractive, smarter, more accomplished, more charming, sexier, or to be brutally honest, more lovable. But when we do experience a lack of love, a lot of us take that anger and decide to opt for second best. If we can't be loved, we can at least be powerful. Power can take a lot of forms, but because the lack of male love often goes hand-in-hand with violence, people who face it generally want, at the very least, to not be hurt anymore.

But there's another element in play. Patriarchal gender roles divide behaviours and skills in a very particular way: Boys and men are expected to use power to dominate, and girls and women are supposed to use emotions to tend and nurture. Anyone who fails to perform those roles gets harshly punished. Terrence Real talks about how this leaves men with very limited knowledge of their own emotional needs or how to communicate them to other people, and Paul Kivel talks about how boys are taught that this is women's work—that if they are masculine enough, they will attract a woman who will make sure that they feel loved and cared about. How a great deal of men's anger towards women is the feeling that women are witholding this essential service, or failing to fully handle men's emotions (which is pretty damn common, since humans aren't telepaths so it's basically impossible to reach inside someone's head and change their emotions for them).

So hooks notes that women are just as likely to uphold patriarchal gender roles as men, and one element of that is women's anger when men are emotionally vulnerable. Men who confess to their partners that they feel lost and ashamed and unworthy of love are doing exactly what women keep saying we want men to do, but the reaction many women have is a kind of incredulous frustration—"You want me to handle all this? Fuck no, I'm busy!"

Part of that reaction is that in patriarchal gender roles, it is a woman's literal job to completely soothe and manage her male partner's emotions—to diligently praise him, make him feel more accomplished, and to reassure him of her ongoing love and admiration in all things. And that is a lot of work that is quite likely not to succeed because it's really hard to talk someone out of a self-hating funk. (There's also an element of just plain sexism. Even without the implied demand for help, some women just think men's vulnerability is pathetic or laughable.)

The feminist response to this that hooks, Real, and Kivel advocate for is to spread the load a little more evenly; to work to reduce the violence with which gender roles are policed, to allow men to be soft and emotional, but in the process, give them the emotional skills to handle the shame and dread we all feel sometimes about not being lovable or or worthy, and empower them to form many different emotionally fulfilling relationships.

So the thing about incels is, they tend to be obsessed with finding a woman who will make them feel worthy, sexy, accomplished, admirable, and dominant, like a "real man". The prospect of getting a woman is the single potential oasis of love and support in an incredibly bleak desert landscape in which a romantic partnership is the only possible source men are permitted to seek love and care from. A man who hasn't gotten a girl is a pathetic loser whose life is meaningless.

What that entire worldview takes for granted is how the desert became a desert in the first place. How boys learn to fear the violence and rejection that comes from stepping out of their gender role by being emotionally vulnerable or by emotionally nurturing somebody else; how emotional knowledge and expression are punished by a system that says men should always seek to dominate. The desire for a female partner rests on a bedrock of learned fear and contempt for the idea that men can or even should have the kind of emotionally close and supportive friendships among themselves that women tend to have with each other.

Incels are the fucking allegory of the long spoons in action. They gather in huge numbers to discuss their pain, frustration, and disappointment about their difficulty attaining a relationship that provides emotional fulfillment, but it's impossible for them to try to seek or offer that kind of relationship with the many many people right there also looking for love, because violating the gender rules means inviting violence and ostracism. Affection and mutual esteem between men is super gay and doesn't count, especially when it's provided because of a mutual vulnerability instead of admiration for achievement. So it's incredibly hard for incels to in any way break out of the mental cage that says the way to be loved is to be as masculine, as stoic and unemotional and successful and admirable and dominant as possible. And because being dominant tends to require people to be better than, incels spend a lot of time criticizing each other for failing to be masculine enough, and therefore not worthy of love.

Meanwhile... tradwives.

If you're into men, the dream of being truly loved by a man who will take care of you and make your life materially better is fucking amazing stuff. That's just... that's just The Dream, okay? The romance industry's extreme popularity decade after decade will tell you what bell hooks also notes: Women who are into men want to be loved by men SO MUCH.

So it really seems to me that the basic appeal of being a tradwife is managing to be submissive enough to get the men they love to genuinely show up and fully commit to loving them. If conflict in relationships happen because men feel threatened in their masculinity or not fully loved by their wives, then gosh darnit, these women will plaster themselves over the cracks to make sure there are absolutely no problems. That will earn them a relationship where they are truly loved and appreciated.

(It's a trap. I hate to say it, but we're not a telepathic species, and you will never manage to be good enough to actually change what someone else feels. No matter how hard you submit, your husband will still feel moments of doubt and fear and inadequacy, because he's human and we're built like that. It's the cross we have to bear as a species. And it does not go well at all if both of you are used, in those moments, for blaming you for whatever you "did" to "make" him feel that way.)

[honourablejester]

Okay. So I saw a giftset of Werewolf by Night, and it’s the first thing Marvel has done in a decade that actually interested me. I’ve never read any of the associated comics, but it looked really fun. So I borrowed my sister’s Disney+ account and watched it. I’m a sucker for a good Universal-style horror.

And it was a good Universal-style horror. I actually enjoyed that. A lot!

Spoilers and more detailed (long) reaction under the cut:

I can see the Wolfman and King Kong influences, definitely. There’s also a distinct House on Haunted Hill/Clue vibe as well, and a bit of Tales from the Crypt/The Abominable Dr Phibes for Ulysses Bloodstone. And a fair bit of Young Frankenstein for the ‘will reading’ and the choice of black-and-white. I also got a bit of The Breed from the cage scene, but I doubt that one was intentional, just where my brain went. All round, a fabulous selection of classic screen horror influences.

Also. Jack Russell. Is adorable. I have so many questions. How did this idiot manage to infiltrate a secret organisation designed to kill him while apparently fucking YOLOing it the entire fucking time. He somehow got a medallion for entry (off a hunter?), he got explosives, he got explosives he doesn’t know how to use, and just … strolled up and figured he’d come up with a plan as he went? Ted! Ted, you can’t let him out alone like this!

(Apparently Ted is exactly as bad, Ted is a danger magnet, Jack YOLOs shit all the time because Ted is always getting captured, I cannot with these two. They’re idiots. And adorable)

Like, Elsa lands in the middle of this idiot convention, and hats off to her for rolling with it spectacularly.

Of course, from Jack’s perspective, he’s landing in the middle of her idiot convention. I fucking love his expression during the ‘will reading’, like trying not to glance around during the animatronic corpse recital all ‘what. the fuck. is this normal for you? do you people live like this?’. I love when you hit the first reveal of Ted, and you realise that this is not Jack’s scene, and from Jack’s POV he’s infiltrated the weirdest collection of psychos on the planet. Like he rocked up without a plan, to a society dedicated to killing people like him, and now there’s a wind-up clockwork corpse and a flaming tuba and five psychos trying to kill each other (and him, and Ted) over a rock. He’s so hilariously awkward trying to fit in, but like … how do you roll with that sight unseen? He did pretty good for a guy with zero preparation who walked into that.

(To be fair, the other hunters were also perturbed by the whole animatronic corpse thing)

Sidenote: Harriet Sansom Harris is having a ball as Verusa, and more power to her. If you’re going to be the vindictive, crackpot widow of the Abominable Dr Phibes, you might as well go all out.

And Elsa? You turned out surprisingly well, considering. Well done girl.

Also? Further question on Jack, with his cover story of a 100 kills. Did he … pick that number? Was he just brainstorming ‘what’s a good, round number of monsters for a hunter to have killed’? Did he mean to be the most apparently prolific killer there? Was that a real number? I have so many questions on how the hell he figured out where to rock up, how he got access to this event, did he kill a hunter to get here, did he just make a cover story up off the top of his head, did they verify his story at all? Like, how did he get here? What was the time frame from Ted being taken to Jack rocking up with his snazzy suit and his medallion and his explosives to get him out?

This werewolf boy is amazingly competent for such an absolute idiot.

On the flipside, mind you, this collection of psycho hunters are amazingly incompetent for a group of elite hunters dedicated to slaying monsters.

Poor Elsa. She’s pretty much the only relatively sane and competent person there. Which is amazing, given that that’s her dad’s talking corpse up there making death puns.

That being said, she does fully roll with the ‘fight each other to the death’ part of this ceremony as completely normal, while poor Jack is over here going, again, do you people live like this?

I adore Jack’s reunion with Ted in the maze. Like, the pair of them chiding each other for getting into trouble, and comforting each other, and being completely blasé like, this is fine, no problem, we’ll get out of this no trouble. Absolute idiots. I cannot. Who let them out alone?

This is followed immediately by a hunter overhearing them and Jack getting chased into and locked into a crypt. Because, again. Who let them out alone?

Whereupon he finds Elsa injured, and immediately offers to help, because she’s the only one who didn’t attack him on sight, and he’s just soft that way. He’s adorable. And more than Elsa can deal with, because who let this puppy into this death match? He takes off his snazzy tie to bind her wounds, and she already cannot with this man. He’s supposed to kill her, that is the entire point of this whole ritual bullshit, but he doesn’t know that, because he’s only here to rescue his friend (family) and these people are actually insane, and Elsa is just … okay. We’re doing this. I will help you save your friend. The monster. Named Ted. Because you are actually insane, but why not. Sure.

I love how she rolls with it. How despite being raised as a hunter by actual psychos, she immediately is onboard with nonlethal negotiation and taking the monsters at their word and putting her weapons away to deal with them. (I love this so much later, when she gets the Bloodstone before werewolf!Jack can get up, and then she puts it away, even though he’s just messily slaughtered an entire room, because him remembering her might work, and she’s willing to risk her life on that rather than hurt him unnecessarily. She’s visibly shit-scared during the entire cage scene and battle scene, but she takes her life and her nerve in her hands for his sake, despite having only just met him and the fact that he’s been secretly a monster. And her, a hunter and a hunter’s daughter)

They’re amazing, that conversation they have in the tomb, finding common ground, taking chances, thinking each other absolutely insane but in, like, a good way. She hands him down bits of her aunt’s corpse while she looks for keys, and he’s just … righto. He tells her to call Ted by his name and she’s all … the monster is named Ted, okay then. Family, right? Families are just like that.

Ted? You have a lovely name. Elsa! Because she’s also a bit of an awkward idiot at times.

Also. I absolutely cannot get over that Jack didn’t know how to use the explosives. He turns it on by accident. He’s running around with a hot grenade because he’s a fucking idiot who brought explosives that he didn’t know how to use. And the wall. Getting the sticky bomb in the crack in the wall. I cried. Buddy! Buddy! Just put it in the crack. Holy God. How? How is he alive? How is Ted alive? What is keeping this pair of morons in one piece? Aside from divine fucking providence.

I love Elsa’s giddy smile at seeing Ted run to freedom as well. Like, being polite to him worked, and he treated her right and sanely as soon as she did the same to him, and she’s legit happy that he’s free, monster or no monster.

And then Jack tries to return the favour, tries to pick up and give her the Bloodstone, and he’s a werewolf, and the mystic hunter artefact immediately lays him flat and exposes him for a secret monster too, and her whole face just falls. Not so much at the monster part, I think, and more because he fooled her, and now she doesn’t know how much of what went previously was real. Is he a lovable idiot who’s casually gentle with her, or did she get suckered by something more sinister yet again?

Also they’re both about to die, so there’s that. And he’s going to kill her.

The whole cage scene, her being locked in to be killed as a traitor by the monster she aided, really did jump my brain back to The Breed, just for the scene of Steven Grant being locked in with his vampiric and starving partner who he’s only shakily beginning to trust. I like what I like, okay? This is a good trope, I like it a lot.

And he’s still calm as anything, I’ve got 5 days until the full moon, we’ve got plenty of time to figure shit out! Honey. You’re in a cage, in a society of monster hunters, and they know you’re a werewolf. Could you maybe be a little bit worried? Does this man have any survival instincts?

And his first question is if Elsa is okay. And she still cannot with him. He is a monster, and he’s going to kill her, can he not with the sweet idiot thing? And he’s trying, because he knows he’s a monster, and he’s trying to control the harm he does, and he is essentially a sweet idiot. Who happens to turn into a ravenous monster once a month.

But he’s in the hands of different monsters now. And Elsa knows how they work. And she knows he’s going to be forced to kill her no matter what controls and systems he has.

And there he turns serious. There he turns afraid. Not that he might be hurt, but that he might actually be forced to hurt her. She’s taking it with desperate sarcasm and equanimity, but he’s suddenly deadly serious. Willing to beg. Willing to plead. And desperate to try and protect her from himself.

A tiny thing about the sniffing scene? Where a werewolf lunges across the cage, a strange man, and starts wrapping himself around her and smelling her? She’s a hunter. She’s a training fucking hunter who disliked the ritual on moral grounds but still saw nothing particularly weird about a ritualised fight to the death for a rock, and who has brutally killed one person and thrown down with several more so far. He lunges over and starts sniffing her, and she doesn’t kill him. Or even flinch, really, just asks what the fuck. She … very clearly, already, instinctively, wants to trust him. Even when he’s being really fucking weird and possibly deadly. You’re a woman in a cage with a strange man who you’ve only known for like two hours, and he jumps into your space and starts smelling your hair and skin, and you just … you roll with it? You let him? You immediately grok what he’s trying, and you just ask him if maybe it’ll work?

She’s trying to trust him. Despite him really not earning it yet. She’s trying to hope, not in her family, who she knows will betray her, but in a strange kind monster that she’s known for twenty minutes. She asks him if it will work. Does it work.

And he says … Once. One time. One time this saved a life, my wolf knowing someone’s scent. Once.

And then he stands up and begs not to be used against her, to be killed as he is, the only casualty of his idiocy.

I love when werewolves get the proper Universal Wolf Man treatment, the proper tragedy and desperate fear and hope for your loved one’s safety from your own monstrosity. Of all the classic horror tropes y’all could have picked, you picked a good ‘un.

But he’s also, the second he knows this is for real, immediately planning to fuck shit up for the assholes who’ve put him there. He’s looking around the room and planning. If they going to turn him against his will, he’s going to try to keep Elsa safe, and he’s going to fuck them up. He tells them to kill him as a man, or there will be no mercy, and he means it. As a man, not just as a wolf. If they want to open that box, okay. He’ll open it with them. He was planning. Where he’d hide. Where he’d strike. Before ever they turned him, he was planning how he’d kill them for it.

They are incompetent. I know they didn’t expect a werewolf to crash the party, but this hunter society are absolute morons who apparently have no idea what a werewolf can actually handle and do. They put him in a cage that can’t hold him and deliberately wake the monster. And then stand close enough to be mauled for it. Like. That is 100% on you, babes.

I love that Elsa is visibly terrified the entire time in this scene. She’s covering it with brittle sardonic asides, as best she can, but it’s clearly a faltering cover. And I don’t … I don’t love that she’s terrified because it’s a throwback to the damsels of classic horror, I love it because it isn’t. She’s terrified because she’s trapped helpless with a creature who will tear her limb from limb, and it’s her family that have put her here, and there’s no way not to be afraid of that. She’s terrified because she’s going to die, at the hands of a monster.

And despite that terror, despite that clear, scene-long agony of fear, she still makes the decision to trust him. She takes the risk of putting the stone away. When she gets it. With a rampaging werewolf on the loose, she takes the lessons he gave her with Ted, how terrifying things will treat you with respect and dignity if you only do the same for them, she takes this thing that goes against everything she’s lived and been taught and learned, and she risks her life on it. To avoid hurting a man who was only there to save his friend. He said he might remember her, even as a werewolf, a one in however many hundred chance of him not killing her, and that and how he’s treated her are enough for her to risk everything she’s terrified of.

I love the terror because it’s so clearly the groundwork for her absolute courage later. Her attempt to repay dignity with dignity, even at the risk of death.

Courage is not necessarily taking a weapon and facing a monster. Sometimes courage is dropping the weapon, despite everything you’ve ever learned, and trying to reach the monster instead. Not blindly, but because he did his best to reach and protect you as well, and because he and his friend have consistently showed what kindness and dignity are worth in the little time you’ve known them.

She’s a fucking good one, Elsa Bloodstone. No better black sheep to be caged with.

Also? Congratulations to this show on a good old fashioned monster scene. An excellent shadowy transformation and then a bloody, brutal fight scene. In which the two most brutal kills are Elsa’s, if only because we actually saw them, while Jack’s are mostly covered by blood splatter on the camera. She can fight. She could have fought him. She could have hidden behind the Bloodstone and just put him on the ground as Verusa did. But she didn’t. She saved him and put her weapon away to speak with him instead. Even with a werewolf straddling her, claws at the ready while she shakes with terror, she just holds his eyes and gently touches his face. Dignity for dignity, gentleness for gentleness.

And because of that, he recognised and spared her, even as a maddened, injured wolf among enemies, and Ted fucking swoops back in to save her life from her step-mother. Ted the tree monster, who can incinerate a person with a touch, crashes back through the glass fucking ceiling and saves her life. Because she helped out him and his bro.

They are morons, and I love them.

And then we finish to ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ as the scene shifts back from the black-and-white of Ulysses Bloodstone and his ritual deathmatch, to the warm colours of Elsa picking up the pieces, and Ted and a werewolf-hungover Jack continuing their exhausted bromance-slash-marriage in the woods.

I wanna say congrats to the boys for surviving the Bloodstone family madness. And I wanna say congrats to Elsa, for surviving their idiocy.

I enjoyed this. Deeply. Like I said, it’s the first thing Marvel has done that I’ve enjoyed in a solid decade. Granted, a good riff on classic horror movies, while avoiding most of the MCU continuity, is likely cheating, but still. This, and only this, I would like to save and have on DVD. It was good.

And, to reiterate, who is letting Jack and Ted out alone? They’re idiots.

For the love of god, learn how to use your explosives. Before you accidentally set them off. Mother of the good god.

[emeraldiis]

Read to Me

A/N: i could not get this shit out of my head so here we go lmfao

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: Porn without plot. Loki reads to you while you sit on his cock.

“Will you read to me?”

It had started with one simple, innocent question. One question that had sparked a fire in your husband’s eyes, and made his lips curl into that smirk that came around whenever he was forming a mischievous plan. But really, how could you deny him when he kissed you so sweetly, promising to read you a thousand stories if you could just do this one…tiny…thing.

So there you were, stretched open and panting on Loki’s cock as he held you tightly in his lap. His arms were encircling your middle and stroking the bare skin on your stomach as he held a book open with his seidr. His voice was a gentle rumble against the back of your shoulder as he read passage after passage, squeezing you tighter whenever you squirmed too much. The hard pressure of his cock against the walls of your cunt was driving you mad. You prayed that he would get impatient soon enough, and fuck you the way your body was screaming for. But every time you thought he might snap, he simply took a deep breath, kissed your cheek, and continued to read. It was torture.

“Loki,” you whined, arching your back against his solid chest. “Can you please–”

He tutted softly at you in displeasure. “Love, you really must sit still. I thought you wanted me to read to you?” His thumb stroked over your hip and you shivered.

“I do, but–”

He cut you off again. “Then be still and let me read, you bratty thing.” Despite his words, you could feel his cock twitch within you, betraying his desire. You clenched down and he hissed. “Naughty girl, do you want me to stop?” He lowered the book and gripped your waist, getting ready to lift you off of his lap.

You cried out in protest, hands finding his thighs to attempt to anchor yourself down. “No! I’m sorry, please don’t stop.” As much as sitting here being still was killing you, it’d be so much worse to lose the fullness of his cock. And you did want him to read to you, no matter how much you complained. You just…also wanted to cum.

“Then be a good girl, and I’ll reward you,” Loki purred, teeth closing around the shell of your ear and making you shudder. His hands loosened their grasp on you, and instead went back to stroking over your skin as he continued to read. You let yourself get lost in his voice, head lolling back to rest upon his shoulder. Arousal still burned like a fire in the pit of your stomach, but you managed to even out your breathing and stay still.

Idly, you let your hands rest on top of Loki’s huge ones. You rubbed small circles into the pale skin there, not missing the way he hummed in contentment. His self control always amazed–and frustrated–you. When it came to teasing you, he seemed to have endless patience. Even as his cock throbbed within you again, he kept reading without even a hint of strain in his voice. It made you wonder if he would be able to keep up that composure even while fucking you. A wave of slick gushed out of you and into Loki’s lap at the thought of it.

Though you were completely bare, he was still fully dressed, his cock pulled through the opening in his pants. Your cheeks flushed red as you thought about your wetness seeping into his clothing and staining it with your essence. You were sure that he would not mind, but you felt the need to apologize anyway. The embarrassment of being fully naked and wanting in Loki’s lap while he remained clothed was exactly why he had done it. He wanted to flaunt his composure and emphasize your neediness. It worked like a charm, and only served to arouse you further.

He paused in his reading, chuckling softly. “I can feel you soiling my trousers, darling. Is there something you need?”

It might have been a trick question. He sometimes did that, wanting to hear you deny your own arousal for the sake of playing apart. Most of the time you played along, but you were too far gone to care. “Yes, I wanna cum,” you pleaded. Your heart thudded painfully in your chest, and you could feel your thighs aching from holding them open on his lap. You were only seconds away from bursting into tears and begging Loki to just take you.

He hummed. “Well, why didn’t you just say something?” The bastard nuzzled into the side of your neck, grinning. “Go ahead, then. I won’t stop you.”

Ice cold disappointment pooled in your stomach when you realized that he wanted you to do it yourself. But you were helpless to obey; you’d do anything if it meant he’d praise you and call you his good girl. Hesitantly, you began to rock your hips, grinding against his cock. It wasn’t as good as being fucked, but pleasure still shot up your spine when the head of his cock pressed into that spot inside of you that made you see stars. You figured that you weren’t allowed to touch yourself, so instead you braced your hands on his thighs to get more leverage.

Loki continued to read. His tone was a bit strained as you picked up the pace; finally, you were getting to him. But as much pride as it brought you, all you could focus on was the friction of his cock inside of your dripping pussy. The pleasure climbed so, so slowly. Your thighs burned and your arms were shaking, but still you pressed on. You wanted to cum so bad, and if this was how it needed to happen, then so be it. “That’s a good girl,” Loki said, voice wavering. You vaguely registered him tossing the book to the side and leaning back, spreading his legs ever so slightly. The new position allowed him to push his hips into you eagerly. It seemed he’d given up on his little game, and was now rocking with you, panting roughly against your neck.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined when he grinded into you in just the right way. Your stomach clenched and you shook like a leaf as you neared your peak. Just a little bit more. You rolled your hips faster and faster, finding a rhythm with Loki as he dug his fingers into your waist. The sting of his nails made you gasp, pushing you closer to your climax.

“Cum for me, I’m right there,” he moaned. His mouth had fallen open and he was mouthing desperately at your jaw, groaning softly. You could feel the way his pace grew rougher, needier, signaling he was ready to fill you.

“Loki, fuck!” You cried out as your orgasm finally washed over you. You clenched down hard around his cock while he held you tight, fucking into you roughly to work you through your climax. Your walls fluttered around him and dragged him over the edge. A muffled curse and a long moan escaped his lips as he thrust into you twice more, then stilled as his cock pulsed inside of you.

The two of you slumped back into the chair as you came down from your peaks. You could feel Loki’s cum slowly drip out of you and down to the fabric of his pants, and shivered. His hands ran over your thighs in soothing strokes while he let you recover. “You’re always so good,” he murmured into your hair. “My sweet girl.”

You giggled softly, squeezing one of his hands. “You should read to me more often.”

[chubbybuckydumpling]

Of Riches and Rings

words: 2.9k

pairing: Helmut Zemo x female reader

warnings: smut, fluffy smut, voyeurism, masturbation (m/f), oral (m/f receiving), blowjob, 69, choking, squirting, unprotected sex, porn without plot

A/n: As a celebration for reaching 500 followers, please enjoy this filthy Zemo smut :) Let’s hope the next episode still makes him likeable! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

My Masterlist

The clock is ticking with every passing second. Tik tok. Tik tok. His fingers tap on the crystal glass of expensive bourbon. The plushy armchair gives into his weight, forming nicely around his back. He checks his jeweled watch. It’s been 10 minutes. You’re taking too long. Tik tok. Tik tok.

He turns his head to gaze around the room, searching for a distraction, but he can’t get you off his mind. Inevitably, his gaze falls to his hand where an elegant ring dresses his finger. A soft smile plays on his lips, but it makes him yearn for your presence even more. Taking a deep breath, his eyes drift back to the clock on the wall. Tik tok. The seconds are passing. Tik tok. His patience is wearing thin, this is not what he had planned. An annoyed growl escapes his lips which surprises him. His self control is definitely slipping. Tik tok. Another minute gone by. Tik tok, tik tok.

“Alright, enough”, he grumbles, getting out of his chair. His tight black slacks cling to his legs, the dress shoes rounding out the look. He places his glass on the nearest shelf, the sound of his heels swallowed by the carpet. The dimly lit hallway carries him from door to door until he closes in on the bathroom. It has a kitschy postcard attached to it.

He can’t help but scoff, “Wash away your troubles? Really?” Reaching up, he is about to rip it off when he hears a sound. A low moan, to be particular. He stills completely, doubtful of what he heard just seconds ago. Just when he’s about to write it off as some weird hallucination, it happens again. His eyebrows raise, a smirk working its way on his lips.

Oh.

This is going to be fun. Carefully, he reaches out to turn the door knob until he can safely open it, just a gap, of course. He chuckles to himself, of course you didn’t lock it, little minx. Turning to peek in, he has to bite his lip to stop a groan. There you were, propped on the bathroom counter, panties discarded by your feet, fingers plunging into your pussy.

The squelching sounds mixed with your soft moans and frustrated whimpers makes his trousers tighten. He feels himself twitch, the sight of you, head thrown back in pleasure and eyes shut tightly. The amount of want that floods through his body makes him undo his fly, the tight material only falling down a little.

One of his hands wanders down his dark turtleneck and he reaches into his grey briefs to take out his half hard cock. He licks the thumb of his free hand, working his tongue around it to get it nice and wet. Once he is content with his work, he pulls down his foreskin and presses the shiny digit against the head, circling his slit. His hips thrust forwards and he has to grab onto the door frame. Shit.

He feels his cock fatten up, twitching in his hand while he slowly fists himself. His eyes are trained on your fingers, the way your core grabs onto them. He builds up a steady rhythm of squeezing his length and playing with his crown, teasing his sensitive head. It’s hard to quiet his sounds, but he’s used to controlling himself, reducing his urges to achieve his goals.

You, however, feel no need to be quiet. Your fingers don’t reach far enough and frustration, greedy want overcomes your senses. You groan, hips rutting against your palm. The pressure against your clit feels good, but it’s just not enough. Your free hand frees your boobs from the bra cups and you begin to squeeze your nipple, whining at the pleasurable pain.

He speeds up his motions, tightens his grip and lets his body take over. Your breasts are beautiful, the tight nipples hard against the cooler air. He feels his desire overcoming him, carnal want filling his veins. His balls tighten, abdomen contracting irretically. He feels himself twitch in his hand. The silky skin of his hard cock feels nice against his hand and he lets out a growl, little droplets of sweat forming on his forehead. The fabric begins to cling to his back.

“I hope you’re not planning on coming anywhere else but inside me”, your voice sounds strained, eyes trained on his thick length. The delicious view makes you lick your lip. He just grins, not surprised by your actions at all, “Wasn’t planning on it, sweet girl”, he replies, a soft smile on his lips. He collects all of his self control to tuck himself back, before he fully opens the door, moving closer to you.

He closes in on you, arms placed on the counter on either side of you. You pull out your drenched fingers to pull him closer, but he is faster, catching your wrist before you could touch him. Smirking, he draws your hand closer and envelops your coated digits with his mouth. He moans at your taste, tongue licking of every bit of your wetness.

You whimper, the sensation around your fingers with the knowledge of what exactly he is licking off makes your belly tighten. His gaze is still trained on you as he slowly pops your fingers out. His chest is heaving with his deep breath. He looks amazing, delicious even. You can't stop yourself for any longer and dash forward to press your lips against his.

The kiss is hungry, greedy. Your desire mixes with his while your tongues dance together. He licks into you, one hand coming up to clutch the back of your neck, pulling you even closer. A deep growl vibrates in his chest, everything about you is just so good. Your taste, the way your scent seeps into his nose, the feel of your tongue against his.

A feeling of desperation seeps into your body and you let your hands wander to the hem of his shirt. You let yourself explore his upper body, feeling his soft skin against your hands, all while he dominates your mouth. When the oxygen runs low, you part, immediately pulling the dark turtleneck over his head. He helps you remove it and chucks the expensive article behind him.

Instantly, his swollen lips are back against yours, more sensitive this time. He bites into your lower lip, dragging it a little before he lets it snap back. Aroused, he allows his hands to grip your waist with one hand while the other strokes over you, caressing your skin until he finds your breasts. He manages to rid you of your bra, your boobs falling free of the constricting material.

“You are so beautiful, mein Engel”, he whispers. You’re completely exposed in front of him while he is still half covered, what you desire most remaining hidden. Warmth rises to your cheeks, yet you don’t feel embarrassed. He’s shown you time and time again how much he desires you.

“What took you so long?”, the question falls from your lip and you can’t help but smirk mischievously at him. He pulls back a little, eyebrows raised, yet he can’t hide the smile on his lips. Not in front of you, “Well, Mrs. Zemo, I wasn’t expecting your toilet break to turn into this”, he gestures to your lower body, “Not that I’m complaining”

You giggle, grabbing his neck to pull him in for another kiss. He feels so good against you, his tight chest against your own breasts. His warmth seeps into you, blanketing you into a calming sense of comfort. He lets his arms surround you, pulling your body closer to his, directly onto his huge bulge. You gasp into his mouth, a strong tingling sensation running through your core. He groans at the pressure, pushing you right on him again.

“Fuck, Helmut”, you whimper, burying your head into his neck, “Please, I need you” He tightens his grip, growling at your words, “Then hold tight. Can’t just fuck my most precious on a sink now can I Engel”

He picks you up, holding you close. His arms strain a little, but you know he would never drop you. Navigating through the hallway he quickly moves towards your bedroom, opening the door with ease. His display of strength makes you clench and your want for him surges even higher. He lays you down on the king sized better, leaving you with a kiss to your nose.

“Beautiful”, he mumbles after taking a step back to observe you. With quick and precise motions, he strips himself of the rest of his clothing. His fully erect cock jumps up to stand tall and proud. You lick your lips with desire, the sight of your husband just always so arousing. Before you can mention how attractive he is, he drops down to his knees, hands parting your thighs.

“Look at you, so wet for me”, he drawls, eyes switching from focusing on your pussy to searching your face. Slowly, he lowers himself, his hot breath fanning against your exposed core. “You look so delicious”, he groans before he buries himself in your folds. His tongue teases your entrance, pressing against it, but never quite breaching. His nose bumps against your clit, sending a shock of arousal up your spine. You let out a moan when his tongue trails up higher, circling the most sensitive part of yourself.

Suddenly, he begins to suck the bud into his mouth and you gasp, back arching. You bury your hands into his soft hair, tugging slightly with need. He continues teasing your hooded bundle of nerves, but adds his fingers back inside you. With delicate motions, he strokes your velvety walls, reaching for your sensitive g-spot. A sudden cool sensation pushes at you and you realise it's his wedding ring. Clenching, you moan his name, needy; greedy. Your pleasure is ascending, the feeling of his flexible tongue with his talented fingers, you begin to shake, thighs trying to clench around his head.

“Fuck, please, I want to suck you off. Need it, please”, you whimper, tears blurring your vision. At your distress, he immediately perks up to check your face for any sign of discomfort. When he can’t find any, he coos, moving up to cradle your face, “Hey, shh, it’s okay, you’re okay”, he whispers, gently petting your hair, “You just want to have your mouth filled, ain’t that right?” You nod, leaning into the warmth of his palm.

He pushes himself further up the bed, laying on his back. His cock looks delicious, pre cum coating the crown. It has a lovely red colour, a beautiful contrast to his pale tummy. Helmut gestures towards his length, smiling at your sweaty face, “Take it then, mein Engel, but let me make you feel good too” His voice sounds strained, his need for friction obvious.

You crawl up to him, eyes trained on his heavy cock. Sniffling, you position your pussy above his face and lean down to take his hard length into your palm. Squeezing and turning your wrist, you tease him, enjoying the soft, veiny feeling of him. He moans and dives back into your pussy, licking and nibbling you so well. His fingers breach your stretched opening once more, his other hand grabbing onto your bum.

He kneads the soft flesh as you feel the ring that makes him yours again. A sudden flame of desire fills you and you envelope his cock with your mouth. Immediately, you press your tongue against the silky underside, your free hand, clad with your own wedding ring, massaging his full balls. He moans against your pussy, twitching inside of your mouth.

Both of you get lost in the pleasure, tongues licking and sucking greedily, fingers playing over your most sensitive parts. He begins to thrust up, his beautiful head hitting against the back of your throat, making you gag around him. He pulls off of you, breathing heavily, “You good?”, he forces out. You nod, pushing your hips back against his mouth. He chuckles, but goes back to work you over, sucking and tickling your hard clit.

You take a deep breath before you lower your mouth back onto him. You focus on inhaling through our nose as you go deeper and deeper until your nose scratches his trimmed pubic hair. He whimpers, moaning as you swallow around him. The vibrations feel so good against your core and you groan, egging him on even further.

His balls tighten, but he pulls you back swiftly, clamping his base tightly, panting heavily.

“Don’t want to cum just yet”, he groans. You whimper, so drawn to him, an overwhelming sexual tension tingling through your body. Electrified, you turn around, getting on your hands and knees, presenting yourself to him. Hearing him moan, you push your ass out even further wiggling slightly. His hands run up to your shoulders, starting at your cheeks, slowly roaming over your skin. His chest presses against you, cock jutting itself between your cheeks, balls against your wet entrance.

His hands run down your arms and he kisses at your neck, working his way to your pulse point where he begins to suck and nibble. You draw in a shaky breath, goosebumps rising all over your skin. You whimper, once more becoming teary eyed. He lets up bruising your skin, a lovely hickey already starting to form. “I love you, Mrs Zemo”, he whispers against your ear. Smiling softly, you turn your head, “I love you too, Mr Zemo” Your husband grins, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Drawing back, he teases your slick hole with his wet head, slapping his length over your clit until you’re moaning for him to take you. Finally, he pushes into you, carefully at first, yet slowly bottoming out. Once he’s balls deep inside you, he lets out a loud groan as you feel him twitch. Involuntarily, you clench down on him, the feeling of being filled up just so perfectly satisfying.

He begins to pull out, only to push back in, gradually creating a fulfilling rhythm. His thrusts push against your walls so well, a delicious sensation that makes your eyes roll back into your head. Helmut’s firm hands run down to your breasts, squeezing and toying with them. It feels incredible, being touched and claimed all over.

His hips become faster, thrusts stronger. The sounds of skin slapping together, deep groans and growls as well as your own moans and whimpers fill your room, a beautiful song of pleasure and affection, a sonnet of lovers living out their desire.

He pushes himself up, the rhythm of his hips never faltering. With his weight supported solely by his knees, he pulls you up against his chest, slick bodies pressed against each other. His hand sneaks around your throat, tightening slowly. A shockwave of arousal consumes you when you feel the platinum of his wedding band against your sensitive hickey. “You feel so good around me, taking me so well, such a good wife for me”, he babbles, thrusts becoming more irregular, but harder, more determined.

“I want you to cum on my cock, can you do that, Engel?” You nod once he lets up his hold on your jugular, taking deep breaths. “Need you to say it, need to hear my good little wife” Panting, you gasp, “I will, please please please. I want it so, so bad” Suddenly tears jump into your eyes with desire and love for the man behind you.

Growling, he pushes you down into the mattress, your cheek pressed to the satin sheets. His hips grow even faster, pushing further, filling you up harder. The new angle makes him hit your velvety spot head on every time, pushing you into even higher layers of pleasure, but once he drops his fingers down to your clit, you crumble, desperately sobbing into the bed.

The coil and desire in your lower belly tightens. You begin to clamp around him uncontrollably, your entire body beginning to twitch with the anticipation of your upcoming high. “Shit, I’m gonna cum, ‘m so close, please let me cum”, you beg, convulsing around him. “Let go for me, Engel. Cum on my cock”, he rasps and with a particular hrd thrust, you break, cumming all over his thick length.

Thighs shaking and back arched you let the pleasure take over, all while your husband still fucks into you furiously, tight circles on your clit. With a few last pushes into your tight heat, strong and hard, he spills into you, filling your body up with his white, hot seed. The feeling of being stuffed with his cock, overflowing with the seed of the love of your life and the delicious pressure against your sensitive nub, you feel a new, yet so familiar sensation overflow you.

Screaming his name, your pussy flutters while you gush around his pulsing length, drenching him with a mixture of your and his orgasm. Convulsing one last time, the final gush of cum squirts out of you. Helmut carefully pulls out of you and watches as your core clenches, trying to keep his seed inside you.

Drained and exhausted, you collapse on your side, eyes shut. Your legs twitch with the aftershocks of your orgasm, but you’re too fucked out to notice. Warmth and safety consume you when you feel your husband’s arms wrapped around you, his face against your neck, “I’m so proud of you, Engel. You did so well”, his breathing isn’t quite back to normal, the intensity of his orgasm left him a little drained and floaty as well. “Hmm, thank you”, you mumble, cuddling back into him, “I love you” Your heart flutters when you feel him smile against your skin, “I love you too. So much”

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[absolutepokemontrash]

Hi! So, I absolutely love your series where the MC is the kid of Lucifer, and I was wondering if I could request that with Diavolo and Barbatos? •v•

:0 you definitely can! Right now I’m just doing Diavolo, but Barb’s will be up sometime soon!

MC is Half Demon and Oh Shit They’re Diavolo’s Kid-

Diavolo wasn’t exactly what one would expect of the prince of Hell, I mean, he was suppressing the urge to bounce in his seat from pure excitement. I mean, his exchange program was starting! Humans, demons, and angels, all together, his dream was coming true.

All that was left was for the student to arrive, the portal opened, and the human fell flat on their back. Oof, maybe Diavolo should have set up some kind of landing zone filled with pillows. No matter! The human was-

…

What peculiar eyes this human had…

Oh… oh dear…

Dad-volo

The MC was his child, no question about it. This was… very unexpected. Well, the entire assembly hall was completely quiet, and the kid looked like they were getting impatient.

“HEY! Mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”

After that, Diavolo launches into his explanation, also the explanation that he’s definitely this kid’s dad. Kid was not impressed, they tried to square up with Diavolo and Lucifer had never been more confused as to what to do.

Well, the moment MC sprouted wings and launched themselves at Diavolo, Dia caught them with one hand and continued speaking like nothing happened.

MC, please calm down… Diavolo didn’t know they existed, let him make it up to them! They’re going to stay at the Demon Lord’s Castle! Dia’s going to be a good dad!

“This feels like the plot to the world’s most messed up fairytale.” MC jammed their hands into their pockets and grumbled. “I get sucked into hell and find out I’m royalty there. Great.”

Diavolo managed to smile and awkwardly reach out to give them a pat on the head, then retracted his hand after the kid shot him a glare. “Well, it’s not a very traditional fairytale, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”

“Mm, sure.” MC mumbled.

Okay, so his child wasn’t that enthusiastic about the exchange program, but Diavolo was sure they’d come around.

Dia tried everything he could possibly think of to get his kid to both like him and enjoy their time as an exchange student. A lot of things had… mixed results.

Also, legally recognizing MC as his child and legitimizing them caused a big stink amongst the nobles who were opposed to the exchange program to begin with. So MC then had to deal with a few assassins. Wonderful. Fantastic. Show stopping. Dia, be a good dad and comfort your angsty murder target- I MEAN preteen.

They do manage to build a good relationship fairly quickly despite their less than stellar first impressions, and Diavolo made them a promise that he knew he wouldn’t ever break: he would let them live as normal a childhood as possible.

This means that MC gets to do all the normal kid stuff that Diavolo wasn’t allowed to do. It honestly works out great for everyone. MC gets to live their life, Diavolo gets the satisfaction of knowing that his kid’s having fun, and Barbatos doesn’t need to worry about MC causing chaos in the castle.

Man… does this kid’s magic potential scare the shit out of everyone though…

Tired Uncle Lucifer

No. This has to be a violation of his worker rights. It cannot be legal for him to be this stressed.

He knew this exchange program was a bad idea. LUCIFER FUCKING KNEW IT. This kid was judging him. Why did he suddenly feel self conscious about every single one of his features? This child was picking him apart and they hadn’t even said anything!

He confiscated Asmo’s phone immediately, this was a matter of national security! Satan’s too! Beel as- oh shit Lucifer may have to give Beel the heimlich maneuver, then take his phone.

When all the brothers eventually got back to the HOL, they were greeted with Mammon getting shaken down by Levi.

“Lucifer! Ya won’t believe this! Levi- what’s wrong with you?” “The exchange student is Diavolo’s child.” “What..?” “*pops the cork off a bottle of Demonus* the exchange student’s Diavolo’s child.”

The worst part about this kid was that they took to the privileges of being royalty like a fish to water. MC went out and did whatever the fuck they wanted, and Lucifer needed to make sure a state of national emergency wasn’t called just because MC picked a fight at RAD.

It didn’t help that MC was just so unimpressed with Lucifer. Anytime Lucifer would tell them not to do something they would just raise their eyebrows and challenge his authority without saying a word.

What the fuck.jpg

The things he does for his prince boyfriend…

Cool Uncle Mammon

Huh, so this little pipsqueak is Lord Diavolo‘s kid? Hm, do ya think they’d let him into the royal treasury? No? Okay… lame.

Mammon then decides this kid would be just perfect for scamming people! Who is going to say no to the Crown Prince’s kid? A suicidal person, that’s who!

And the kid is… up for it? Wow, Mammon didn’t even have to grovel! Awesome!

It’s such a shame that Lucifer came in and promptly removed MC from Mammon’s presence. Tsk, killjoy…

Mammon and MC do get along swimmingly after MC stops angsting. Whenever they hang out it’s pure chaos.

And they would have gotten away with it too- wait, they do get away with it. Because who’s going to question the Crown Prince’s kid? >:)

Reclusive Uncle Leviathan

Levi was in the middle of throttling Mammon for his money back when Lucifer burst through the door looking like he had spent over 1000 Grimm on a gacha game only to not get the card he wanted.

And where was that human he said would be staying with them? Huh? The human’s HUH????!!!!

… wack. Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on that Student Council Meeting…

Either way, ew, new person he needed to talk to. NO THANKS. Well, no thanks until MC started to visit the HOL to hang out with Mammon. Of course those two normies decided to bug him. OF COURSE.

Levi finally snapped when MC loudly proclaimed that they could totally beat Levi in Mario Kart. Haha, NO. Levi challenged the little runt to a 1 v 1 race on Rainbow Road.

Kid lost. Obviously. Rainbow Road is rigged.

Honestly, kid’s alright. Still a total normie, but not completely terrible.

Cat Uncle Satan

Huh, a half human child of the soon to be demon king, how very interesting.

Oh, and just look at Lucifer’s face. :D priceless. Satan wished he was fast enough to get his DDD out to snap a picture, but he wasn’t able to…

But back to MC, oh how very intriguing. How much power do they have in comparison to Diavolo? Will using that power rip their fragile little body apart? Would they learn to control it? Satan was just dying to find out.

His feelings on the child themselves were mixed at best. They were clearly unhappy with the situation and Satan could sympathize, being thrust into a completely new world and then being told you can’t leave and are also royalty? That has to be hard. But this kid was still being an unreasonable little shit.

Satan continued to try and study MC from afar until the kid themselves walked right up to him and half demanded half pleaded for his help in studying for a test.

Not being one to avoid an opportunity to flex how smart he is, Satan agreed to help out. (Nerrrrd)

And honestly, it went well. When the kid wasn’t being a little shit, they were actually quite pleasant to be around.

Overly Affectionate Uncle Asmo

…wut

Listen, when Asmo asked Lucifer to pick a cute human, he didn’t mean cute as in CHILD.

This kid was DIAVOLO’S?! What lucky human had gotten to have the experience of [Jesus Fucking Christ, Asmo I’m not writing what he said for the sake of the nation]

Anyhoo~ little MC just made his heart go “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!” They were so cute Asmo could just eat them up!

But they were so mean! That scowl they always had on was going to give them wrinkles and ruin their perfectly cute face!

Sigh, oh well. He can’t manually rearrange people’s expressions. What he can do is take this child shopping. Poor Diavolo was constantly in his RAD uniform, this poor innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate.

The kid continued to scowl at everything, but at the same time, their little quips were very entertaining. This little kid spitting verbal venom at anyone who displeased them reminded Asmo of someone… he just couldn’t place who, but they definitely had amazing hair and a cute face :3

Hungry Uncle Beel

Where’s the takeout- I mean human? What’s happening? …are all humans this small? Dang, that’s barely enough for a snack.

So the human’s not going to live with us because they’re not fully human and Diavolo’s kid? Huh. Wild. Anyway, what’s for dinner?

Beel’s not too invested in this drama, he misses Belphie too much to be that interested…

The kid’s weirdly interested in how cool and strong Beel is though. MC tails him to the gym pretty often.

Diavolo and Beel already being gym buddies send tweet-

Since this benevolent little shit likes Beel so much, they decided to take it upon themselves to help with the family drama.

Beel finds that very sweet 🥺

Murder sleepy Uncle Belphie

Oh man… if you thought Belphie was being unfair to L!MC due to their parentage… hoo boy…

When this kid waltzed up the attic steps like they ran the place, Belphie needed to hold himself back from trying to break down the door and throttle this kid.

Pff, of course Diavolo would have a half human kid. Of course.

…kid beat the shit out of him when he tried to kill them. We stan this MC.

After all is said and done, Belphie still isn’t overly fond of MC. They’re brash and rude and only funny 40% of the time. They don’t even like napping 😒

But Beel likes the little runt, so Belphie and MC put up with each other.

Bonus! Your Angelic Uncle Simeon’s Chihuahua

:0 friend!

MC: *speaks*

>:0 not friend! Begone! *throws crucifix*

[bnha-dumpster]

what if we added shindo to this cloud fest? I feel like he'd be a naga, constantly getting the farmer trapped in his coils, fucking them within an inch of their life, compressing them in this cocoon he's made with his tail. I don't think him and wolf bakugou would get along very well though - shindo is also very protective as well as a little obsessive over reader. I feel like he's more of a lurker, surprisingly adept at getting the drop on reader even though he's a huge fuckin SNEK .

grabby hands at anything shindo (thinks about their size difference being like this)

Pairings: Naga Shindo x Farmer Male Reader Content tags/warnings: non-human genitalia, size difference, inflation, belly bulge, oviposition/ovipositing, hemipenes, exhibitionism, aphrodisiac venom Word count: 1k

There’s always a risk of being pounced by one of your monsters when you do your midnight barn checks. You don’t like having to do them, but the incident of one of them managing to escape while you were asleep put you on edge. Now you’re forced to do a check to make sure none of them have escaped. Besides losing your sleep, you’re at risk of being attacked by one of the many horny monsters in the barn because of this. And tonight is one of those nights.

“Just the person I was looking for.” 

A large tail wraps around your torso and lifts you into the air. There’s only one resident of your farm capable of it and you sigh. 

“Shindo, please put me down.” You don’t squirm, you only stare at the Naga. “I’m not in the mood for this, especially not at midnight.” 

“But I’m in the mood, my dear farmer. Come here.” 

You don’t have a choice in it. Shindo plops you into his lap and you’re made aware of the two cocks pressing against your backside immediately. They’re hard and waiting for your attention. You can feel the heat through your pajamas as he grinds against your body. It’s clear that he’s pent up and was searching for someone to help relieve himself. He would’ve chosen anyone awake in the barn. You however, are his preferred person to help him.

Of course this isn’t the first time you’re dealing with the Naga’s antics. He’s been able to sneak up on you many times before, shoving one of his dripping cocks into your ass and fuck you. A few of those times he’s shamelessly laid his eggs inside you. Shindo is kind enough to help you push them out afterwards. He’s also kind enough to never actually cum inside you and fertilize the eggs.

“I’d like to do something different tonight.” 

Shindo hums as he tears your pajamas off with his claws, one hand coming to grab your limp cock and the other gently massaging your balls. He can get you hard from a few pumps easily, the pad of his finger pressing down and rubbing the slit of your cock. The fondling and light squeezes he gives to your balls only makes the process faster. A slightly harder squeeze gets your cock to twitch, making you squirm in your spot. 

The Naga continues to pump your cock while watching you, leaning over your shoulder to see it twitch and leak precum from his actions. He finds your weak squirming cute and your suppressed noises even cuter. 

“See,” Shindo lets go of your sac to press his hand against your lower abdomen. You feel his cocks twitch as he rubs small circles into the skin. “I’m going to fill you with my eggs and then I’m going to cum deep inside you. You’re going to take them properly this time.”

“Wait, what?” You try to turn to face him, stopped by his large hands gripping your waist to hover your body over his cocks. 

“You’re going to love it.” 

That’s what he says before he sinks his fangs into your neck and warmth rushes into you. It’s Shindo’s kind gesture, forcing aphrodisiacs into your bloodstream to numb the pain of him stretching you out. It makes the feeling of his cocks managing to sheath themselves inside your ass feel amazing. You let out a loud moan, waking up some of the occupants of the barn. Of course, you don’t notice.

“Fuck, Shindo-” He begins to move you up and down along his cocks with ease. The aphrodisiac continues to be pumped into your system until you feel like you’re nearly on fire. Your body is so warm and every touch sends pleasure through you. All you can do is hold onto his tail for dear life.

Your stomach bulges each time his cocks sheathe inside you fully, the two of them actually wiggling around. Unabashed moans leave you as pleasure assaults your senses. Finally Shindo unlatches his mouth from your neck and focuses on watching your hole swallow his cocks. He finds it amazing that your body can take so much inside at one time.

“Y/N, you take me so well. It’s like your body was made for this.” 

Shindo has to stop his movements to reach around your body so he can feel the bulge of your stomach. It’s an amazing sensation. The bulge of your stomach is wiggling slightly from the movement of his cocks and he can’t believe that he can actually feel it. He’s hyperaware of how he’ll be able to feel his eggs inside you once he’s done it.

Normally he’d last longer but the vivid image of you being stuffed full of his eggs is too much to bear. He moves you a few more times before pushing you down and keeping you there with his tail. One hand goes to jerk you off as it begins.

A groan comes from your mouth as one of his cocks swells inside you and begins to push eggs deep into you. The sensation is something you’ve experienced before so it doesn’t unsettle you. Rather, it’s actually quite nice. 

“Can you feel it? These eggs are just for you.” The Naga allows his tail to full restrict you on his lap so he can rub his hand on your stomach. He can feel each egg leave his cock and settle inside you. One... Two... Three.. Four... Five. “Time to fertilize them.”

The sensation of being full from Shindo’s eggs suddenly change when a new warmth fills you. Your abdomen bulges even more from the amount of cum that Shindo pours into you. It feels like it’ll overflow, but it somehow doesn’t. His cocks keep your ass sealed, nothing able to seep out of your hole as he holds you.

“Shit, I’m gonna-” Between feeling full and the diligent hand stroking your dick, you cum. You still hold onto his tail and shudder against it to try to ride the waves of your orgasm. 

You’re lost in a haze of pleasure and exhaustion until you feel a different clawed hand grab your chin to lift your head up. Red eyes glare at you and you immediately know who it is. 

“Who said you could go and fuck someone else?” Bakugou’s voice is rough and angry, but you’re way too tired to care. “I’ll be taking those eggs out of you soon enough.”

[dr4cking]

BIRTHDAY SMUT

Birthday Boy.

masterlist taglist

draco malfoy x reader | smut | fluff |

a/n : we love spoiling our ferret boy and thank you for requesting! <3

y/n look up at the clock hanging on her bedroom wall. its 12am sharp, confirming the next date has arrived, which means that it's June 5 now.

she was feeling excited and nervous as she finishes wrapping up the present that she will give to one of her best friends, draco malfoy.

they had been best friends for long years, it started in 2nd year and became inseparable since then and now they both are already graduated.

as they grew up they often flirted with each other, always got jealous when the other see another person.

they both knew that they always wanted to be 'more'. the sexual tension between the two is becoming too hard to ignore, but they were too scared to ruin their friendship.

she stood in front of her mirror, taking the last look at herself. she decided to dress up, it was a special day after all.

she wore a dark green satin dress because draco's favorite color is green and paired it up with silver heels. she had decided to put black lingerie underneath her dress incase 'it' happens.

she had asked her parents to let her stay in malfoy manor today so she can celebrate draco's birthday. and because their parents know each other too, they let her stay there.

she swishes her wand and in a second she was apparated to malfoy manor hall, it was really dark but she still managed to found his bedroom, she knocks softly on his door not wanting to wake his parents.

the door opened, revealing the blonde-haired guy who stood straightly with a genuine smile on his face.

draco is wearing his usual black suit which always making him look hotter than he already is.

she feels her heart will going to jump out of its place at any second when she cant take her eyes off of him.

"you came," he said as he greeted and taking her hand in his guiding her in. they both sit at the edge of his bed.

"of course, i wouldnt miss my best friend's birthday, making sure i was the first celebrating your birthday." she laughed softly making draco chuckle.

"you look so beautiful in that dress, love. green really suits you.”

draco once again take her hand in his and brought it to his lips and kiss it, making her cheeks heated at his action and the nickname he just called her.

"here, happy birthday draco." she placed the gift in his hand.

his eyes lit up and he immediately opens it, making y/n getting more nervous waiting for his reaction.

"oh merlin! this is so cool y/n!! i love it so much!"

he took out the black ring that had a snake symbol carved in it from its place and put it on his ring finger, taking a look and admiring it.

"i’m so glad you like it, draco! i wasnt sure what to get you then i remembered you've been looking at this ring when we passed the store last week"

"thank you so much y/n!! you dont have to do this i appreciate it so much, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, love."

he pulls her by her waist and kisses her forehead, thanking her.

no one has ever treated him like the way she does and he's so grateful to have someone like her in his life.

"aww stop it draco or i will cry in front of you now" she laughs, nudging his elbow making him laughs too but he suddenly stopped and looking at his lap.

"whats wrong, dray? are you okay? did i do something wrong?" she asks worriedly tilting his chin making him looking up at her.

"i'm afraid that i have to say this, y/n..” he takes a big sigh looking into her eyes.

“what is it? tell me i wont judge, draco”

“i- i think i’m in love with you, y/n. no! i know that i am in love with you, i have always been."

he inhales deeply and broke the eye contact, looking anywhere but her eyes, knowing his sudden confession would make him lost her this instant.

"draco, look at me" y/n said as she tilts his chin again making him look at her.

"oh god.. i’m sorry y/n i shouldnt have said that! i was just- its just i- i cant hold it anymore y/n. i need to get this out of my chest and now look, i just ruined us"

"oh draco.. you're not ruining anything, quite the opposite actually, you just made the right move, i'm in love with you too, idiot, always have been."

she chuckles and cupped his face in her hands, pressing both of their foreheads, looking at each other causing a shy smile to appear back on his face.

he tilted his head and wasting no time to smashed his lips on hers, kissing her passionately, showing her how much he loves her which she gladly returned with the same passion.

he put one of his hands on her throat and the other on her waist pulling her closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged softly on his hair making him moan into the kisses.

as the kiss turning into a full makeout, he lays her down to his bed, resting both of his hands on the side of her head still kissing her hungrily.

his suit already thrown out on the floor and her heels too. she snapped back to reality and realizing what is gonna happen then flipping their position over and now she is on top of him straddling him.

"let me do all the work draco, today is all about you, wanna make this special and a night to remember, let me make you feel good, love."

she slowly grinding against him after earning eager nods from him, both of them let out a moan at the feeling.

then she gets down and started to unbuckle his belt, kissing his growing tent and palming him through his trousers causing him to squirmed under her touch.

getting excited she pulls his trousers and boxers down, throwing them somewhere as draco's hard swollen cock sprang free and standing tall in front of her, begging for attention.

she moans at the pretty sight, licking her lips, craving to feel him. she runs her fingers around him and placing soft kisses on his inner thighs before going up to the part he needed the most.

draco let out a throaty groan when y/n finally take his hard cock in her hands pumping him, his body jolted out as he feels y/n kitten lick his tip, his hand founding its way to her hair.

she looks up to him with innocent eyes who already watching her movements, she smiles and took his balls in her mouth making draco instantly moan her name, his other hand gripped on the sheets.

then she pulls out to rest her jaw and lick a straight line on his cock from the base to the tip then going all in, his cock feels so heavy and full in her mouth, draco is already a moaning mess.

"fuck y/n- feels so g-good.." her name repeatedly left his lips like a prayer as he keeps moaning her.

she bobbed her head up and down at a steady pace, hollowing her cheeks and pulling draco deeper each time she suck him.

"yes y/n, just like that, fuck.. feels so fucking good"

she swirls her tongue around his length, sucking on his tip and taking him back inside her mouth again, her hand pumping the rest of his cock that she couldnt fit in her mouth at the same pace making sure that part got pleasures too.

he bucked his hips accidentally making her gagged and choked out, saliva dripping off her mouth and eyes watering.

"shit i’m sorry y/n!" he said as he watches her struggling.

"do that again, draco."

y/n replied as she took him back inside her mouth, and hand still stroking his cock. draco groaned and buck his hips again, making her gagged and moaning at the same time, the vibration sending him near to his high.

she noticed his cock twitched in her mouth and begin to suck faster and deeper, her hand move to his balls and massaging them helping him reach his high.

he let out a low scream of her name as he shots his warm liquids down to her throat, his legs are shaking. y/n moaned and pulls him out showing draco that she swallowed all of his cum. he smirked and mutters a 'good girl' to her.

"how was it, draco?" she asks him smirking as she slowly sat up and straddling him again.

"fuck.. you have no idea y/n.. that was amazing, the best i ever had" he replied as he still catching his breath.

she smiles at him and takes off her dress slowly showing draco her black lingerie. his pupils widened at the view in front of him.

"god y/n.. you are insanely gorgeous, you look so hot in this lingerie, darling. are you preparing all of this for me? planning all of this cause you know this is going to happen, yeah?"

his hands are now roaming around her body, admiring her in every way he could. she blushes and nodded, taking her lingerie off of her showing draco her full body making him embarrassingly moaned at the view.

she starts grinding her now bare cunt on his still hard cock, earning a soft whimper from the boy under her. his hands instantly gripped her hips helping her grinding faster, her wetness now coating his cock.

"now enjoy the ride, mr. malfoy" she said as she lifts her body and pumps his cock lining his tip against her lubricating it with her juices making both of them groaning at the sensation.

she sunk down on his cock, filling her up in a perfect way. its like their bodies fit together and were made for each other.

they’re moaning each other as draco is fully inside her. she paused and take a few seconds to adjust to his size.

"mhm.. fuck- you're so big draco.. fill me up so good inside"

she starts bouncing up and down, resting her hands on draco's chest as she picks up her pace, throwing her head back and screwing her eyes shut in pleasure.

"you're so tight y/n, wrapping my cock so tight, taking me so well" draco praises between his moans, his hands gripped harder on her hips helping her bouncing faster.

"do you like how i ride you, dray?" she leaned into his ear, blowing her hot breath and biting his earlobe making him shuddered.

"y- yes mommy" draco's breath hitched as y/n suddenly going faster, her walls now hugging his cock very tight.

she let out a groan hearing draco called her 'mommy'.

placing her lips on his jawline, licking it then going down to his neck, sucking hard as she found his sweet spot causing draco to moan his raspy voice into her ear, turning her even more.

y/n starts to give him her lovebites and marking him as hers sending butterflies to his stomach.

she put her hand on his throat, choking him lightly while her other hand toying with his nipple, making draco whine. pulling her closer to him and captured her lips on his to muffle his moans.

she broke the kiss and screaming his name out loud as his cock nearly brushing her cervix and hitting her g-spot.

"shit.. you feel so good inside me dray"

she rolled her hips faster on his cock, her tits bouncing up and down in front of him and he caught her nipple in his mouth and buried his face on her breasts, enjoying the warmness.

"ah- you feel so good too, fuck- never felt this good mommy"

his breath got stuck and he feels his cock twitched inside her indicating both of them that he was close, y/n seems close too as she bites her lips feeling the coil in her stomach tightened.

"cum for mommy, baby boy"

y/n rolls her hips and bouncing faster, tightening her grip on his throat.

and that was it for draco, he moans her name out loud not caring if someone might hear as he spilled his cum inside, filling her to the brim, ropes of his warm cum shooting inside her.

y/n cant help but cum all over his cock at the feeling of his cum shooting inside her nonstop, her walls clenching and squeezing hard on him.

both of them are a mess, legs shaking, vision blurry as they were on cloud nine, she rolled her hips lazily to ride out their orgasms before collapsing on top of draco, both panting heavily.

"fuck you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that, love" draco said softly as he caressing her cheeks pulling her in for a sweet loving kiss.

"happy birthday, draco." y/n broke the kiss smiling at him tiredly, giving lovely kisses all over his face.

"best birthday ever, thank you my love for everything. i love you so much..” he kissed her lips one more time.

“i love you so much too, dray.”

those were the last words they spoke before both of them drifted off to sleep with a smile on their faces.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tagging : @dracoscum @hellounicorn @onyourgoddamnleft @whoreforgeorgeandfred @turn-to-page-394-please @underappreciated-spoon-321 @youreso-golden @silverdelirium @littlemissnoname13 @dracmalf0y-dm @f4iryluvy @starstruckgranger @lieswithoutfairytales @dlmmdl @yiamalfoy @black-repunzel99 @rylynn-m @slythermuf @acciodignity @i-love-scott-mccall @maybesandohnos @yvonnearce22 @arzfia @alexthealexthealex @seriouslyinlove

[hops-hunny]

Angels on Earth

Pairing: Ron Weasley x Chubby!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.8k

Request: “CONGRATS ON 300 FOLLOWERS!!!! I love your writing sm <3

this is my first time ever making a request and recently I found out that the person I was dating is still in love with their ex so I'm looking for comfort rn hehe

could you do a 23, 33, 35 with Ron, a mix of fluff and smut? chubby/plus size fem reader please”

Summary: Ron thought he was obvious, but it was clear (Y/n) was more obvious.

Warnings: Sexual themes

A/N: This took a while but I’ve also been busy but, enjoy!

23. “Cause I never believed there was a heaven till I found you.”

33. “Would you fuck me if I was skinny?” “I’d fuck you right now.”

35. “If you wanted a kiss you should’ve just said so.”

For as long as Ron could remember, he had always found his potions partner to be beautiful. Who could blame him? (Y/n) was a beautiful girl. Round cheeks, soft all around, beautiful (h/c) hair, and the prettiest set of (e/c) eyes he had ever seen. But that wasn’t originally what drew him in, it was everything else. (Y/n) had an aura that surrounded her that was so bright, so full of life. Everyone who befriended her was always in a positive mood, smiles seen left and right from the jokes she’d tell. Even right now, with her hair pulled back from her face and the cute little goggles she insisted on wearing, he couldn’t help but admire her.

“Right. I think that should be it.” She said, pushing the goggles up her face as she turned her head to look at him. His face flushed and if she had noticed, she didn’t say much. “That is unless you fucked something up. Merlin knows how bad you are with Potions Weasley.” she giggled, his heart pulling and racing in his chest. 

“Oi! ‘M not that bad. Plus you didn’t let me touch anything, should be fine unless you managed to make a mistake.” He leaned towards her a bit with a devious smirk. “But it’s impossible for you to do that isn’t it? I forgot you were just a perfect princess.” He pulled away, eyes trained on the potion in the cauldron in front of them. Amortentia, was it? He found it a bit strange because he couldn’t smell anything but the girl’s perfume no matter how far he leaned in. In his own state of confusion, he completely missed the girl’s own shocked look on her face.

“What do you smell?” she questioned, gathering her things due to the period drawing to a close. His eyes widened at his realization before calming down. Now was a better time than ever. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before sighing.

“You.” his eyes shot open at the sound of a snort. (Y/n) had made her way towards the exit of the potions room, (e/c) eyes rolling at him as she shot him a smile. She went to leave the room before giving him an up and down.

“If you wanted a kiss you should’ve just said so.” she teased, shooting him a wink before exiting the room. He groaned, rubbing his hands up and down his face as he adjusted the awkward bulge in his pants. He stood, gathering his things as he huffed to himself.

“I’m in deep aren’t I?” he said out loud, ignoring the look his slimy potion’s teacher gave him. Without another word, he left continuing on his path to his next dreadful class of the day.

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“She probably thought you were joking.” Harry said, causing Ron to give him a glare. Even though there was a big possibility that Harry was right, he didn’t want to believe him. He thought his attempt was a good one! He was direct about what he meant, right?

“He’s got a point. You guys usually joke around and mess with each other a lot. She probably thought you were cracking a joke. Have you tried just telling her how you feel?” Luna asked as if the answer was obvious. Ron felt his brow twitch as he sighed, sinking down in his seat more as he threw his head back.

“What can be more obvious than saying you smell someone in your Amortentia? Do you guys even think?” He questioned.

“Do you? Cause if you did then you’d know that was a poor attempt.” Hermione chimed. Although at first he was sure his attempt was good, that it was obvious, suddenly he was beginning to have second thoughts. Was he clear enough? Sure, you could say one thing but he’d be the first to admit his actions didn’t match. He huffed, looking at his friends, desperation hidden in his eyes.

“Well, what should I say then?” 

“Say something truthful! Let your heart speak for what your actions couldn’t.” Ginny chimed, causing them all to give her a strange look. She crossed her arms, looking away with red cheeks. “What? I think I’d know what chicks like, I do shag em afterall.”

“So tell us, what does your heart say Ron?” Luna asked, he sighed as he racked his brain. He liked her a lot. How could he not? (Y/n) was beautiful, a gift from the heavens above. The softness of her skin, the roundness of her tummy, and those beautiful luscious thighs. He was surprised no one else had made a move on her yet. She was kind too, always willing to help her fellow (y/h/h) in need.

A lovesick dopey look took over his face. “I...I’d say…” he let out a dreamy noise as hearts took over his eyes, “I never believed there was a heaven till I found you. Never believed angels walked among us at Hogwarts, that I think she’s amazing and I-”

“Okay ew that’s enough. I’m gonna be sick. Save it for her.” his sister said, grimacing as she stood up. “And with that note, I’m gone. Why not tell  her at the Gryfindor party tonight? I’m sure she’ll be there!” Ron gulped nervously. That soon? Surely a few hours wasn’t enough time to prepare! Maybe he’d try in a few months…

However as he looked across the hall, seeing some twit practically eye fucking her, it was settled. Tonight he would tell her and if not, he’d at least make some progress.

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Ron let out a shaky deep breath, wiping his sweaty hands along the front of his jeans. Whether it was the sweltering heat of all the warm bodies, the shots he had taken, or the thought of what he had set out to do tonight he didn’t know, but either way he was burning like a phoenix. His eyes trailed the room nervously, looking for (Y/n). How was he sure she’d be here anyways? She wasn’t a frequent attender to parties, only showing up to them sporadically. However at the sound of a familiar laugh-snort combo, he had all he needed. 

In his buzzed(and slightly drunken) haze, he followed the sound blindly, face heating up at the girl's appearance. She wore a blush colored bodycon dress that clung to the folds and curves of her body nicely.. Her hair was styled differently than usual, but suited her perfectly nonetheless. Most things did. And when she saw him? Her face broke out in a bright smile as she hiccuped, handing her half empty cup to one of her friends. She stumbled her way over to him. He steadied her by placing his hand on her waist, looking down at her.

“Ronnn! Omg Ronnie, what’re you doing here?” she hiccuped again, giggling as she stared up at him. He smiled back at her softly, stroking along the softness of her waist.

“ I could ask you the same thing, love, you’re not much of a drinker usually.” he placed a hand on her cheek, thankful for the liquid courage flowing through his system. “You alright? Come on, let’s sit you down. You don’t seem to be too steady.” he said, guidning her towards the couch. When they got there, he expected her to sit next to him but was in shock as she parked herself in his lap. She wrapped an arm around his neck, smiling down at him drunkenly. He handed her a glass of water, the same one he had been handed earlier when he was getting a bit out of hand. She thanked him, sipping on it at a slow pace. 

After a few minutes, the hiccuping and giggles had died down from her, leaving her to form goosebumps at their current position. She was fully seated on the boy’s lap and he had his arms wrapped around her, rubbing his fingers along her soft pudgy sides. She bit her lip as she looked off to the side, before bringing her eyes back to his.

“Uh, Ron,” she started, looking down as she picked at the skin around her nail beds. Letting out a deep sigh, she continued, “Can I ask you something?” her heart began to race rapidly as she looked at him, watching as he nodded before offering her a soft smile.

“Course. What’s up?” How should she phrase it? Should she be simple? Should she-

“Would you fuck me if I was skinny?” she blurted out, eyes widening. Although she had wanted to ask him something about if he was attracted to her, she hadn’t intended on being so...bold. She was known for speaking her mind but not in situations like this! In a state of panic, she went to stand up but was pulled down by a strong pair of arms, pulling her close to an even stronger, toned chest. He chuckled in her ears, hair tickling the edge of her neck.

“Shit princess, I mean...I’d fuck you right now.” his grip on her sides tightened, trailing one hand on her thigh. Out of all the things she could’ve said, this was the last one Ron expected. (Y/n), his snarky potions partner, in his lap in that god forsaken dress asking if he’d fuck her. He felt his own heart begin to race. Did she mean to say it? Well, did she mean to say it to him? Or did she just want his opinion for someone else?

“O-oh.” she stuttered out. (Y/n) pulled back some, turning her head to look at him, finding that his eyes instantly were drawn to hers. 

“Do you mean that?” they both asked. Ron’s cheeks turned red as (Y/n) felt her own face grow warm. Both of them let out breaths they didn’t even know they were holding, laughing with one another.

“I meant it but, did you?” she asked, breath hitching of the closeness of their faces to one another. She could smell the fire whiskey mixed with hints of cannabis and weed mixing with it making her absolutely intoxicated. He nodded, pressing his forehead against hers.

“‘Course I did, love. You don’t have to be skinny for me to do anything with you, let alone fuck you. Because trust me,” he trailed a hand along her upper thigh, sliding it between the soft expanse of them. “It’d be my pleasure to fuck a woman with a body like yours. A woman so soft, so tender, bet that cunt of yours is tight and dripping. Isn’t it?” the girl squeaked, clenching her thighs around his hand. He leaned down, pecking her lips softly before pulling away, (Y/n) whimpering  in a desperate attempt to let him know she wanted more..

“And if I were to grant you that pleasure right now?” she purred, placing a soft hand on his cheek which he gladly leaned into, a dark chuckle leaving his lips.

“I’d be the luckiest man alive.”