#I’ll take this post down of the creator isn’t cool with this post but know that this is literally linked to their channel

[purpleponder]

Hey I’m going crazy over this beauty of an amv and I need to infect everyone else with it

Enjoy this beauty by @/Nogua on Youtube, I just need more people to watch it

[livelaughlovesubs]

Hey nini just experienced something scary 🙁

A writer I was following for a while and enjoyed their content just updated after being gone for a few months. I was like 'oh cool I wonder what they're up to!' just to find they turned into a terf.

What's scary about it is the sudden switch... Normal content and then just terf rhetoric. I thought they might be hacked but when I read their posts and reblogs I can see where the pipeline started.

I'm not really trans myself but I am part of the LGBTQ community, so when I see those kinds of attacks it still scares me, especially because months prior that writer was a person I could've befriended. While I might not be directly affected by transphobia imo any attack on trans women can be redirected at cis women who don't fit a narrow box of requirements, people unfortunately just feel that its ok to be violent to trans women.

Sorry to rant on here and bring the mood down but I didn't know who else to tell and it feels like I'm recovering from the aftermath of being drenched in ice water.

Oh it’s alright, I rant a lot myself as well. And sadly, it isn’t that uncommon for content creators to be completely different than how they present themselves. A lot of the hsr voice actors are also…. Let’s not talk about it. Anyhow, it affected me a lot to see way too many of them being such cruel people that I changed to cn voice. It’s alright to feel betrayed, or sad, angry, whatever, no need to think it’s pathetic or something, it’s normal. You used to like them after all. It will take some time, so dont rush, and take that all the time you’ll need to get used to the change.

I don’t know if many of you watch V-tubers, but a friend of mine did and she was very devastated at what Luca did (from Nijisanji I think, I forgot his last name) and they started having grudges against people with his name afterwards (funny but also sad)

I had to look up what it meant, and it’s basically discrimination against trans woman? Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not familiar with all those terms. But judging by the rest of your text, it must be true. It’s literally so dumb. The audacity they think they have to meddle in someone else’s life, to tell them how they should live to fit their own narrow-minded world view

Everyone is special and unique in their own way, and anyone has their own story to tell or write. There might be stories that are similar, and that’s okay because there will still be some things that are different. But no one should ever let someone else decide and write down their story for them.

I don’t have anyone in my close circle who’s a trans woman, though I’ve met some in passing, and honestly they are such wonderful people, such confident woman. I’ve always wanted to be very assertive, yet due to how I was raised I sometimes find it hard to take action without hesitation when I feel like ‘it’s embarrassing’ or ‘I’ll lose face’. But those woman, maybe because they have hardened against all this disrespect, are so self confident and loud, in a good way. Really, they are amazing, such beautiful and powerful women.

[neveah-llama]

Why do I have gospel on My Spotify Daylist? I’m Atheist. Oh Also Here’s Some Background Info For the Fic :)

Haha ignoring the title, I just wanted to talk to you more about ‘The Impossible Adventures of the Phantom and the Ninja,’ give a sneak peak as to what I plan and maybe get your guys’ input.

So as I said before I love serialized cartoons centered around teenage superheroes. Maybe because I love comics, or because I too felt like I was living a double-life and found a connection to these characters. Still do even though I’m now older than the characters. But what I love most about them is the possibilities for world-building.

I love stories that center more about the world the author has created, along with how that world affects the character(s) relationships, traits, etc. It shows me the extent to the author’s creativity, having thought of all these cool societies, cultures that seems real like it could belong to the real world, even down to how people in that story keep track of time.

(Off topic but this is actually the main reason why I love the ATLA universe)

However I don’t really get that with the teen-superhero drama. Especially when it airs on cartoons like Disney or Nick. They do explore some topics for sure, but I’m looking more to the drawbacks of living a double-life. Mostly because I feel those drawbacks even today. Furthermore, most of these shows like Danny Phantom and Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja were only able to air due to both the networks and the creators, at least in simple terms. So sometimes shows would be canceled when it’s left at a cliff hanger (I.e. Teen Titians (2003) and RC9GN)

So that’s why I wanted to write this fanfic, I want to try to expand the worlds of both shows by connecting them together, I want to add my own flair to the characters, story arcs, and the direction of the series, and I really hope I do both shows justice because I grew up on these shows and I even still watch them (even when some words they use are outdated and just overly obnoxious/cringe)

Which brings me to the second part of this post. To those who read this far good for you, you get a cookie 🍪.

Anyways I have three arcs planned so far when it comes to this fanfic (more will defiantly be added later on). Granted it’s not all fleshed out so I’ll have to add or take out stuff as I continue with this story. But here’s a brief description and some notes for the first three arcs:

1. Origins

Obviously it’s the introduction to the story. Danny and Randy just returned to their homes a week before school starts, it’s their first year of high school and both of them have big plans for the next four years.

They just didn’t account the chance to become heroes of their respective towns.

The arc is going to be about 4 chapters long, ending with a rewrite on ‘Bitter Reunions’. The chapters will briefly glaze over the first six episodes of Danny Phantom. And the first like two/three episodes to RC9GN.

This arc will mostly focus on Danny struggling to getting a hold of his powers and Randy coming to terms that being a hero isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Only problem is I’m not sure if I want that to happen to Randy this early on the story or not. Eh, guess we’ll see what I feel like, lol.

2) Original Storyline:

It’s in the works! This is set after both of their Halloween specials in season one. Mostly because this is placed in November. I might plan a chapter or two to happen before this arc so who knows (really want to write Fanning the flames- I have plans for that one it’s all based on a joke while I started writing out the three arcs lmao). I don’t want to say anymore other than the fact I want it to focus more on Japanese myths, it’s actually how I got inspired to write this fic so I’m really excited.

3) Interlude:

After that week-long adventure, Randy, Danny and friends slowly adjust to their new normal. Mostly just rewrites of canon episodes to help build up to another major story arc that is forming in my head at the moment. (It’s definitely a canon one just to give you a hint).

Anyways so yeah. That’s all I have so far. Thanks for reading, love y’all!

Ps if you see a poll thing, no you don’t. This is my first time posting on tumblr via phone and I don’t know how to delete it. (I’m not old I swear I’m in my early twenties 😭)

[mal1ntent]

You know, at the start I was pretty against the whole ‘Matrix theory’ where they’re in some sort of virtual reality, it felt like a copout and that it invalidated characters’ experiences, but as more things are added to this story the more it feels like it’s the only way I can feasibly take in all the plot holes and make them make sense. Of course there’s going to be improv rp mess ups, that comes with this brand of storytelling, but god the contradictions on a larger scale are just too much for me to rationalize. And I get it, too many cooks in the kitchen, there’s a lot of people collaborating on this story, so this isn’t really a complaint or anything. I just think for me personally, no matter what gets canonized or not, I will always be headcanoning that this is a fake reality designed to experiment on the psychology of the residents. And I mean a lot of the themes within the story fit with it, so as of now the theory fits pretty snugly, but even if somehow we get complete confirmation that it’s false, I just don’t think I’ll be able to deal with all the contradictions it implies. And the room to explore all the implications of it being a virtual reality is also very appetizing

However I still don’t like invalidating character experiences too much so I choose to believe that most memories from before the island are real, but can definitely be fucked with and/or erased completely. So characters like Bagi and Cellbit that “grew up” on the island just have their memories altered, likely everything would be accurate except for anything relating to the federation. I like to think that the home they had is the same, it was just virtually reconstructed here to suit the fake story implanted in their heads. Also this would imply that EVERYTHING is a pawn in the bigger picture, the rebellion, the federation, even the eye guy are all controlled by a bigger entity or force just playing with toys to see what happens (though I imagine it’s more professional than that). But that’s quite the big assumption so I’ll leave it at that

For characters like Baghera or Jaiden there’s room for a lot of cool concepts, but I won’t ramble too much. I guess at the end of the day it all boils down to something that has absolute power over their minds and the world they are stuck in going “wouldn’t it be funny if this happened/I wonder how it would play out if this was the case” which honestly is kind of just a representation of the content creators and the admins themselves which then gets really meta but is also really cool within it’s own right and I said I wouldn’t ramble but here we are

Welp.

Hope this was coherent enough, and if it is please let me know what you think about it! I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this stuff, there’s so much more to consider with it, like the eggs and the workers and the codes. And honestly if it were to ever become fully canon I think it would have to be handled very delicately and presented in a way that doesn’t just feel like a copout, which is honestly why I prefer it as a headcanon for now, and if it is actually currently true within the admins’ heads then I hope it continues to be subtly hinted at and maybe never confirmed. A good story has mystery that doesn’t need to be answered, there’s no better conclusion to a mystery than one you as a consumer of the story come up with yourself (like exactly what I’m doing now!)

ah I never know how to conclude something like this so I end up making a conclusion that rivals the length of the actual post

hm

okay well thanks for reading this far down! <3 you’ve got great resilience to written out brain mush

and uh I guess there’s only one real way to end this off

I hope you enjoy the island :)

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Hi everyone! A few days ago I posted my rankings for all the films in the Infinity War Saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Having never seen any of these movies in full before this moment outside of Spider-Man: Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy, this was a very fresh experience and one I can now thoroughly say I really enjoyed! It may have had its ups and downs, but overall this part of the MCU left us with some incredible movies, characters, chemistry, and scenes that will likely inspire creators for decades to come just as their comic book counterparts inspired their own creation. I am really glad I started and finished this project and while I’ll be taking a hiatus before continuing onward, I can safely say I am now a certified MCU fan.

BUT LETS BE REAL Y’ALL WANNA SEE ME BE A HATER SO LETS GET INTO IT WITH OUR BOTTOM 5 SHIT LIST:

1. Dr. Strange

Interestingly enough the at top of this list is the worst superhero in the Infinity Saga. Dr. Strange is a terribly boring slog wherein Benedict Cumberbatch plays the character that Tony Stark haters think Tony Stark is. Annoyingly smug, terrible chemistry with everyone around him, an absolute bore, and a morally questionable at best protagonist. Throughout this whole movie I’m really meant to care that he’s slowly getting over his hands never being able to work the same again, but because this man is nothing but boring and insufferable every time he opens his mouth I could honestly care less what happens to him.

Tilda Swinton is here giving the least with her performance as Sorcerer Supreme but I can hardly blame her because this movie has no idea what to do with her. Same with Wong, who feels like he’s supposed to be the funny sidekick but gets such little to do and say that you forget he’s in the film at all.

The plot is barebones and devoid of engaging character interactions or cool and endearing scenes of Dr. Strange doing cool shit. Instead we focus on some CGI mirrorverse shit which isn’t cool enough to save a 2 hour spiral of muck.

The only thing keeping this at the top of the shitpile and not further down is the final fight scene being pretty clever and the final talk Tilda has with Stephen being pretty okay. It’s no Frigga and Loki or Frigga and Thor but it’ll do in a pinch. Still doesn’t salvage a movie so boring that Nathan and I spent the latter half of it pretending that Dr. Strange was writing letters to Santa Claus to keep our spirits up.

2. Thor

You know Thor: Dark World gets a lot of shit hurled its way and don’t get me wrong it’s entirely deserved shit that movie is needlessly grey and edgy and lame and everything else that’s already been said. But at the end of all things I can still tell you that the scene of Loki being a total mess in his prison cell after realizing that he got his mother killed is genuinely well written and the only time Loki has been a boon for this franchise.

I can’t say the same thing about Thor which was so forgettable and had such little going on that I don’t remember a single scene from it. Thor is boring, Loki is boring, the Frost Giants are lame looking and barely in it, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three are so nothing that I think they legit forgot Lady Sif was part of them by the time they reached Ragnarok, and the plot is so blah that the only thing people remember is a one off gag about Thor breaking a coffee cup. And I say one off because “God learns how Earth works” gets to be a fun idea for that scene and never again.

And now, a series of disjointed musings

Why make Jane a scientist instead of a nurse in this version if you’re going to contrive a older white man scientist who actually does all the science?

Did you know Hawkeye gets introduced in this movie? He has about as much significance as he does in the first half of The Avengers so I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot.

Dr. Selvig being such an important character to this series is so ironically funny I think I might actually be mad at Endgame for not having him appear through one of the portals.

Kat Dennings doesn’t even get to show cleavage.

Boy Loki sure gets to do less than nothing and be boring and annoying. Hope this isn’t a trend that continues because if it does then fans were really stupid for hyping him up.

This movie is lame.

3. Ant-Man and the Wasp

This one is actually really simple. The first Ant-Man is an incredibly sweet little flick where Paul Rudd gets to charm bomb us into loving Scott Lang and Michael Penya’s silly antics and Scott’s earnest love for his daughter carry us the rest of the way.

In this movie Hank Pym and Hope Pym will mercilessly attempt to ruin Scott’s life by getting him near put away for 20 years where he’ll never see his daughter again because (lemme check my notes) the grown adult is sad that her parent disappeared as a kid and wants her back…we gonna do anything with the Pym’s being selfish towards Scott and near putting his daughter through the same thing Hope went through for their own family with no regard for his feelings while sporting a callous attitude the whole time? No? They’re supposedly justified because Scott Lang got arrested in the Ant-Man suit for helping Captain America? The correct decision by Marvels standpoint? Hm. Interesting.

Oh also this movie has a villain…I think her name was Ghost.

Moving on!

4. Spider-Man: Far From Home

Maaaaaan I hate when I gotta dislike shit I was rooting for.

I’ll be honest, I have mixed feelings about the MCUs Spider-Man. On the one hand Tom Holland is a great casting pick, I love the younger age, and Homecoming has a lot of great stand out moments. I even like some of the Tony stuff-Tony being Peter’s Uncle Ben is genuinely creative and lends a lot more emotion to his relationship with Peter. On the other this franchise doesn’t wanna let Peter cross a street without pondering for 20 minutes about what Tony would do and every villain he ever fights revolves around Tony and Tony Tony Tony Tony.

I want this Peter to be able to stand as strongly on his own as the other Spider-Man’s of the past, but the MCU refuses to let him off the training wheels and just give him his own movie.

Case in point: Tony is dead and this movie is somehow more about Tony than any other Spider-Man thus far. And when we’re not talking about Peter “being Tony Jr. or maybe not or maybe yes and no” we’re quirking an eyebrow at the fans of the series and scoffing about how they dared hope that Mysterio was gonna be fuckin Mysterio. I’m not a comic or spider-man cartoon person and I found it obnoxious.

The final fight is boring and all the drones feel like their made of glass and there’s just an infinite amount of them and Jake Gyllenhaal is a charm vacuum and there’s a weird joke about Peter hiring a prostitute that makes me uncomfortable and the more I sit on it the more I’m just disappointed that Peter Parker played by Tom Holland has not had a single movie where he can just be Spider-Man on his own. It’s insecure and sad. Just like every attempt this movie makes at going “Come on guys! How laaaaaame would it be if the villain was just magic? Multiverse? Cringe! Am I right, youths?”. I’ll get into more in the next entry, but false confidence masking major insecurity is the fastest way to dump a movie at the bottom of my list.

Luckily for this movie it still has enough good will with Tom Holland being charmingly awkward and Nick Fury (even if not the real Nick Fury) having an appearance that it narrowly escapes the bottom.

Well

That and the other thing.

5. Thor: Ragnarok

So this is the one that a majority of people are surprised about.

“Oh my gosh how is this so low? How is this below Thor: Dark World? This is so your kind of movie!”

Taste is a tricky thing for people. It feels so basic and easy to understand, but tastes are more complicated than we care to admit and that means they’re easy to fuck up and misunderstand. Everything on the surface of Thor: Ragnarok feels like something I SHOULD really like. It’s bright, it’s got a BIPOC lesbian, Thor is silly, we’re having a goofy time with the villains, there’s an interesting theme about family and finding yourself. Hell the movie is directed by Mr. What We Do in the Shadows which I notoriously adore (the TV adaptation of)

But here’s the thing: It’s all fake. It’s an unbridled fake confidence hiding indecision and insecurity. I’ll be honest, I was looking forward to this one. After being let down time and time again by Thor being so miserably uncompelling as a protagonist, and his villains being boring and forgettable, and his plots being threadbare and constantly retreading old ground-this should have been my thing.

I mean, I loved the Team Thor shorts they released! They were funny and delightful and very Taika! So why isn’t this movie?

Every joke that feels Taika is shot like it wants to be anything else (which as fans of Taika’s work know the camerawork and shots are what makes the typical joke of his), Thor is just as bland as ever but has a one off gag or two that were Ad libbed or actively fed to him by a make a wish kid so he’s “quirky” now, Hulk is here but they still have no fucking clue what they wanna do with him or Bruce so he’s just kind of taking up screen time.

I want Tessa Thompson to be so fucking cool and instead she’s barely given anything to fucking do except be an alcoholic with trauma. I want Kate Blanchett to be a awesome villain and instead she’s so fucking boring the only thing I can remember is that she does that dumb little hair fade to helmet shit like 9 times. The Warriors Three are all just kinda murked off and they cared so little they don’t even bring up Lady Sif and in fact the way Thor talks about Valkyrie implies that she doesn’t exist! They want to so hard to forget all the previous Thor movies but have nothing to add in a way that matters.

It wants to be important. But it wants to be forgettable. It wants to be bright. But it wants to be washed out. It wants to have deep characters. It doesn’t want you to think about the characters too hard. To paraphrase The Phantom Tollbooth: “When it’s someplace, it wishes it were someplace else. And when it’s someplace else, it’d rather not be there.”

It’s so focused on what it’s not that it never becomes anything.

People say Thor: Ragnarok is bright-but it’s colors are still just as washed out as any other Thor movie. The only difference is it’s a white smear over the lens instead of a black one. Just like the rest of this movie. Just as smudged and flawed and awful to sit through, but with a slightly different filter of terrible.

At least the first Thor was early. It was before they knew what worked. At least Dark World tried. It did terrible but it wanted to make amends for the first Thor being boring as sin. This movie is more than happy to dance around like it’s the golden child of three very unfortunate triplets, and it smirks with confidence as it stumbles just as badly as they did but without the excuses and while smacking it’s brothers for their blunders. I don’t have patience for false confidence.

HOWEVER,

All of this! All. Of. This. I could also say I felt about Far From Home. In fact, I should arguably hate it more because I love Spider-Man and honestly don’t have strong feelings about Thor. So why this and not Far From Home at the bottom?

I sat through:

Thor

Avengers

Thor: Dark World

Thor: Ragnarok

Four movies. Four appearances of this character. A character I was routinely told was sooooooo good and soooo fun and soooooo babygirl.

And every. Single. Appearance. Is the same fucking thing.

Tom Hiddleston does his best to be charming when he can’t be, and begs the audience to think he’s nuanced as he flits back and forth between hero and villain.

“I betrayed my family. Actually I changed my mind. Actually changed my mind again. Oops killed my mom. Sad now. I’m gonna be a good guy and try to fix this. Changed my mind I’m an asshole. Now I’m a hero. Now I’m a villain. Now I’m a hero. Now I’m a-“ until the moment Thanos crushes his windpipe in Infinity War.

I was more than sick of it by Thor: Dark World, but thought that after having that really good scene where he realizes that only he is to blame for his moms death and how much he does, in fact, care about his brother, that finally I would get to see this great character everyone creamed over during these movies release. That after this terrible excuse for “development” this character might finally be worth his time on screen!

And then Ragnarok came out.

And that’s why this is the worst one! Goodnight everybody!

[thatone-churro]

i was gonna make this addition to someone else’s post but it got longer than expected and i really didn’t wanna do that to them after they said they were done talking about it in regards to their own work.

i don’t know if “bugs” or “irks” are quite the right words for how i feel, but this take certainly does something of the sort to me.

i hate that the concept of “bury your gays” and its related discourses are so quickly applied to ALL queer media. it’s completely stripped of its original context/meaning and i know THAT irks me to no end.

personally, i’m of a mind that queers deserve media about them, about queers, and also about tragedy, death, murder, action and suspense, or whatever the occasion is. it can be about the queer cast while not having a happy ending, or without the cast being perfect.

“casually queer” is how i used to describe my personal project. yes, it’s blatantly and unapologetically queer, and that queerness is important, but it’s not the focus of the story. it’s not the point of the story. there’s still action, still adventure, still death, still tragedy. the cast isn’t perfect, some die, some are awful, some are “problematic,” even the queer cast. most things happen to the queer cast, because most of the major cast is queer.

i don’t understand the idea of condemning a work for “problematic queer characters” if it’s just a primarily queer work. you can’t have a queer story with no conflict or have realistic characters that are perfect. you want a queer story, but no, no, the queer characters can’t be problematic. and the problematic trait they describe is simply just. a character flaw exploited for the sake of the narrative. i don’t get it.

a queer story written for queers shouldn’t be perfect and pure. there should be “problematic” things. there should be tragedy. they shouldn’t have to be pure. they shouldn’t have to be perfect. they shouldn’t be shunned by the community they were created for because they told an otherwise typical story, except now it’s queer. queer stories, or any story, should be allowed to be complex. there should be nuance. not everything in it should be likable. that’s how a story works.

using my story as an example, again, my all-time favorite character and one of my main protagonists for a good chunk of it is a nonbinary lesbian on ace-spectrum. okay. cool. lots of rep there. but they’re heavily flawed. they kill. they have regrets. they make stupid decisions. they’re self-righteous. they’re terrified of being the bad guy yet end up the bad guy in many people’s views. they have one very violent motive. they love their family to such an extent that they’ll destroy anyone who lays a hand on them. they’re complex. they’re nuanced. they’re not always the good guy. that’s how a story is. if they were a perfect, pure, “perfect” character, there would be no story. no enjoyable story, at least.

what baffles me the most is when queer creators make these queer stories and suddenly they’re a bad queer because they killed one of their many queer characters, for instance. i’ll use my project once more for an example. say, remember that nonbinary ace lesbian from less than a paragraph ago? yeah, i ended up killing them at one point. their story was over and while it hurt me, too, it was a necessary step for the story. their story was over and i needed them to start the next chapter of the next protagonists’ story. but as a nonbinary ace lesbian myself, does that make me a “bad queer?” am i suddenly evil if i killed off my sapphic couple that got marrie in the first part because their story was over and there was no other way to move on their daughter’s story with them there? am i the asshole for killing one of my ace characters for a narrative purpose? am i not allowed to do certain things to my queer characters anymore if i don’t want to be a “bad queer?”

i guess these feelings boil down more to how strictly puritan culture and/or cancel culture and/or “problematic” culture has invaded the literary scene and how that impacts me, a queer writer. how are we supposed to tell these stories that people beg for if they are torn down and torn apart for the exact nuances they want? how are we supposed to create anything without relentless scorn or fear of being “cancelled” for thematic complexities? i don’t understand it.

in conclusion:

i realize my opinion on the subject is probably HEAVILY swayed by my own tastes and preferences and i have no idea where i’m going with this anymore and there’s not really an argument here anymore so really this whole thing can be taken with a grain of salt.

anyway, that’s my angry rant for the day. please don’t witch hunt me for it, thanks 🤞

[stubborn-society]

Scarlet House

Photo Credit: Kameron Odums

Everyone was saying, you gotta get on TikTok. It’s the place to see new artists get their break. Not everyone is going to find their audience there, but you still have to be there, blah, blah, blah. What does this have to do with me? I thought TikTok couldn’t possibly be a place for anyone with any kind of taste. But I was curious how pop star wannabes and study beats producers promoted their music on the weird kiddie app. I also thought hey, everyone’s pressuring me to get on here, I’ll shoot some nonsense into the void, too.

Pro tip: TikTok is fucking incredible. I’m really impressed (and occasionally annoyed) with the way communities form and function on it. And if you’re really into music, it’s really fun. Almost too fun. But that’s a post for another time. 

I’ve found most of my favorite new artists on TikTok lately. It didn’t take long for me to find Scarlet House. A dreamy, shoegazey, alt-pop song playing to a close shot of Kameron’s face (note: handsome face) while he’s driving (presumably to or from work), a sullen expression in his thousand-mile stare with a wall of text that read: 

“i know alternative isn’t the biggest genre in the world but it’s the one that means the most to me and has done the most for me so i’m gonna keep making it no matter who will and won’t listen”

The little hairs on my arm stood up. I got those goosebumps I get when something hits right. I was instantly endeared by the sweetness of it, but it was something else - I immediately bought it, and I’m not the only one. With early endorsements from Kehlani and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, Scarlet House is a band we should keep our eyes and ears on. His fan base has been steadily growing and he’s making smart moves. I love to see it.

This is Scarlet House. 

Hi, Scarlet House. 

Hello there!!

How’s it going? 

I woke to see another day, so things are going great for me.

Hell yeah. I found your music back in October, pretty shortly after getting on TikTok. How long have you been making music for this project? 

I've been working on this project since about mid-2021. I've had a love of rock music for a long time but always thought I wouldn't be able to make it, so Scarlet House was my attempt.

Did you have a project before Scarlet House or were you playing in other bands?

I previously went by my real name Kameron James! I made a very different style at that time, mostly consisting of RnB and pop songs.

What made you decide to start promoting your music on that platform?

I never had any backup plan outside of music, so I told myself it was time to buckle down and focus on promo to get these songs to the world. TikTok happens to be the best place to do it right now as we all probably know.

Yeah, it seems like every band is on there right now! Sometimes it feels crazy, but I’m starting to really love the platform from a discovery perspective. How long have you been promoting your music on TikTok?

I started seriously promoting Scarlet House Music summer of 2022. I posted before that but never with a plan of consistency.

It’s pretty common to see cool accounts get started, then the creator loses interest. I’m glad you stuck with it. What has it been like for you as an artist promoting their music on social media? 

It's ironic because before pursuing music, I'd never been the biggest social media person. I found it hard to convey who I was, but when I stopped overthinking and started doing it, that's when it became easier.

It’s a weird and sometimes scary step. But I like that you’ve taken the format and used it to express who you are. What were some of your goals when you started promoting your music online? 

Live shows are probably one of the biggest things I hope to get out of my music career. I've always dreamt of them so now being on course to making them happen is amazing. Other than that I'm just seeing where the journey takes me and taking it a day at a time.

Totally, it’s the only way. Does TikTok feel like a competitive environment? What do you think is the biggest challenge an artist faces promoting their music on the platform?  

One thing that I've realized is that there is a lane for everyone. With millions of people on the app, there's enough space for everyone to grow. In this age of music, it's easier than ever to get caught up in numbers. I try to think about the reasons I love music to keep myself grateful and centered.

I wholeheartedly agree; numbers should never be the end game. It gets exhausting for everyone and you can always tell who lost in the analytics and who really wants to be there. Do you find music on TikTok? Are there other indie artists you follow?

All the time! The beauty is in the fact that you get to see how much talent is out in the world. Art is perspective to me, so being able to see the world the way someone else does is both amazing and important. My favorite artist at the moment is this guy vhs ghost. I bonded with him through having a similar life walk so his music speaks to me in a special way. Lofi gold.

I’m so stoked to hear that. I always wonder what the social experience is like for artists on TikTok. So you think TikTok is a good platform to build community and find other musicians?

It is the best platform that I've seen! I think nothing beats a face-to-face community, but having TikTok makes it where you can build community no matter the distance. 

Yes! I have found some truly legit artists and hardcore music fans on there and as an artist myself, it really is so exciting. Do you enjoy the other music content that you see? Do you vibe more with the content or the music? 

For sure! I connect with the music usually but the content is the selling point so I have a very strong respect for the content creators I do see.

What are the main qualities that draw you to your favorite music? What makes a song great? 

I think a great song, for me, is a song that can make me feel something. I take a strong interest in the topic of nostalgia. I think there is beauty in being able to feel a glimpse of your own past through a song that is new to you.

I feel this so much! I love all the various music revivals happening online - it gives me an excuse to share my favorite music with people who haven’t heard it. Sharing is great for intergenerational bonding in the music scene, passing music down (and up!) is so important. Are you into full albums or do you like singles/playlists more?

Each presentation of music can be cool in its own way but my favorite thing is to find an album and get lost in its world.

I’m so happy to hear that! I’m addicted to making playlists now, but I love knowing people still enjoy the full album experience. It feels crucial to fully enjoy the art form. Albums can become part of your life. A lot of artists are pushing singles rather than albums right now. Do you see the “marketing advice for indie artists” accounts, and if so, what do you think of them? 

I see them quite often. The internet is huge and is full of so much advice, I think the key is understanding which advice is for you and which isn't. Everyone has a different path to their goal so knowing what will work for you and your brand is crucial!

Absolutely. I notice a lot of accounts try to make everything seem easy and plug-and-play when the reality is it’s very tough to navigate alone. Do you follow any industry accounts?

Honestly, I don't follow too many industry accounts. It can all be a little overwhelming when I think about the business side of the industry.

Judging from the comment sections alone, that’s probably smart. There’s a lot of conversation lately around indie artists maintaining control and ownership over their music and finding success without a label. Do you think this is an important conversation, and do you think it’s a good option for artists? 

I've definitely stayed in tune with the debates surrounding labels and ownership. I think the most important thing is having a team around you that you can trust. Every deal is different so I think as far as signing, just being confident in what you bring to the table and knowing your worth are super important! 

I notice a lot of artists on TikTok are solo. You write and play all the instruments, record, and produce everything yourself. Do you feel like there are limitations to being a solo artist on social media or in general? 

There is definitely a set of pros and cons to being a solo artist. Limitations present themselves when I'm in a creative drought, that's when collaboration can be beneficial. I've had a specific sound that I've been trying to achieve for a while now and I'm still working towards it so in the case of my artistry, it's been easier to go on the journey alone.

I think a lot of people can relate to that. Being a band leader is also different and can be pretty challenging. Are you a perfectionist?  

A perfectionist from my own perspective! I don't want to say that my work is perfect, but I'm stubborn with my vision and ears so I won't stop chipping away at a song until it's where I'd like it to be. 

I think it comes through in a good way and when you have a band it’ll be a seamless transition. 

Something I was super excited to see is how much TikTok gives visibility to artists of color in every genre. I can see directly how deeply it resonates with fans. Do you have any thoughts you’d like to share about that? Does it inspire you to see other Black artists pivoting into genres previously only marketed to white audiences?

Growing up in school I moved around a lot and dealt with these feelings of being an outsider. Now that I'm older and understand the world a little better, I can see that a lot of us had many things in common back in grade school, the similarities just never surfaced. For this reason, the Black alternative scene is a very exciting thing to me. One great thing about the internet is that it provides a space to be yourself. Going forward I hope to see more of my peers embracing who they are regardless of the pressure society puts on them to conform. Alternative scene or not, everyone deserves to be themself.

  

Do you feel like TikTok builds awareness for Black alternative artists more than other platforms? 

It's interesting because I look at TikTok as being the land, you can build whatever you want there. This has been a huge stepping stone for so many Black artists to be discovered and heard.

It’s really amazing. As someone who always pushed hard for this freedom growing up and even now, I love seeing this grow and watching people flourish. One thing I really love about your content is that you’re so transparent and honest about what making music means to you. You just seem like such a nice person! Social media has a reputation for hooking people in with drama and toxicity, and I can tell your fans really appreciate your authenticity. 

The times that were in can be brutal. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If there is anything I could offer to a listener, I want it to be an escape. A reminder that things can be okay.

They can feel it. I’m glad you’re sharing it with people. So what’s on deck in 2023 for Scarlet House? What are you looking forward to? What can your fans look forward to? 

I'm beyond excited for all that's to come in 2023! My biggest focus is just releasing more tracks! Hopefully, the songs will resonate with listeners as much as they do with me. 

(Originally published on beastsunltd.com January 31st, 2023)

[maverick-jones-writer]

scrolling

by: Maverick Jones

A/N: since we’re all talking about the dead internet theory now, I thought I would share this WIP!! enjoy!! EDIT: i know the format isn’t right but i’m posting this early and i’ll fix it later :)

Your bedroom ceiling fan grates with every rotation. The sound pierces your skull, but the room is stuffy without it on. You flip the pillow, sighing as the cool fabric touches your skin. You will yourself to sleep.

…

You cannot sleep. Frowning, you rub your eyes before reaching over to grab your phone. You squint your eyes at the bright screen, blinking back tears as you turn the brightness down. The fan drones on while you tap on Instagram in the bottom left corner.

Your page opens to Kim Kardashian. She’s wearing a navy blue bikini - the kind that barely covers anything. She looks pasted onto the picture, standing in a pose that you would find from students in an Intro to Drawing class. Sculpted and carved. Skin airbrushed. Your skin crawls looking at her.

You scroll away, seeing next someone you knew from high school. She is also in a navy blue bikini, but not as revealing. You swipe through the three pictures of her laying out in different poses, each one hiding her stomach. The caption reads, “still young 🩷” You remember she had a baby boy a couple years ago. You like the picture, then scroll past.

“Are you tired of pickle juice getting on your fingers? Try-”

You jolt at the sound blaring out of your phone. Fumbling your fingers, you tap the mute button, throwing a futile glare at the screen. “Fuck you!” you mouth, holding up your middle finger. Your phone does not reply.

You rapidly scroll through the following posts:

Reel of James Charles using only eyeshadow for his makeup.

Your local YMCA’s poorly decorated gym (the picture is blurry).

Political ad.

A tumblr repost (you screenshot it).

Reel of a tumblr repost.

Tumblr repost (ad).

Your ex-friend’s wedding photos (you like the post).

BetterHelp ad with the quote, “Your mental health should take priority. Start your therapy journey for only $49.99 a month.”

Reel of a YouTuber you used to watch promoting their (recycled) content.

Ad for Max (HBO).

Reel of someone reading aloud tumblr reposts.

Another ex-friend’s vacation photos (you don’t like it).

A poorly drawn creature with the caption, “me when someone mentions Bistro Huddy”

Political ad.

You exit out of the app; your eyes glaze as you sink further into the pillow. You tap on TikTok in the bottom right corner.

A video of someone using the “How Rare is My Birthday?” filter is the first thing you see, so you immediately scroll past.

You watch a video of someone defending Chappell Roan for speaking out against fans harassing her. The comments say that it’s the price of being famous - get over it. You scroll.

A clip from Family Guy comes on. You watch the whole thing before scrolling, despite not caring for the show.

The haunting music of the song “Labour” sweeps your ears while clips from the show The Handmaiden’s Tale play. The edits line up to the flow of the music. Your eyes dilate, mesmerized by the shifting and swooping colors. Goosebumps form. You start to feel-

An ad interrupts the video. Your shoulders sag as you scroll by, knowing the ad signals the end of the video.

Piano begins to play softly in the background, with a sweet voice blending in. The video is a clip from the movie “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, and it has text on the screen that tells about the child actress who was killed by her father. Your eyebrows furrow, your face grim. You don’t like how monsters like him still roam this world. You like the video, then scroll away.

A cat video appears. You smile, like it, then scroll.

The song, “The Both Reached For the Gun” plays during another edit, this time focusing on two characters, both of whom are reaching for the same object. You frown, wondering if the creator of this edit knows the origins of the song and it’s true meaning. You begin to type out a comment, explaining the themes of the song, but you delete it and scroll past, deciding it does not matter.

You scroll by these next video intros:

“You see how I come to work? Very mindful, very demure-”

“I’m Pete Buttigieg, you might recognize me from-”

“If you’ve lived through the stress of having a lost pet, then you need-”

“The World Health Organization is warning about-”

“Guys! Is this what our marriage has come to? Oh my God! Jack just-”

“This is literally the best gift I ever-”

“This is what the election-”

“I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy, unless of course-”

“We’re having another baby! After five boys, we really wanted to try one more time for a girl-”

“I’m not racist, but-”

“I kept seeing these pants all over my FYP, and I-”

“This summer has been the hottest summer on record-”

“A 2023 international survey showed that 47% of people under the age of fifty do not want to have children. Why? What is stopping people from having children-?”

“You cannot believe how fucking happy I am that Wendy’s-”

“If you’re trying to conceive, you want a reliable-”

“Another bomb dropped in-”

“Me when the boys-”

“Okay, storytime about how I used to date a billionaire’son-”

“My hair completely changed when I started using-”

“This comment right here is so important, and most people don’t realize that when they die, which is why I bought-”

“If you’re walking daily and you’re not seeing results, it’s probably because-”

“Drought has struck-”

“A physical therapist told me to work on my posture, so I-”

“Introducing-”

You come across a video with the text “The Internet is Dead,” You begin to watch.

“I think it’s time we talked about late stage social media, and how the internet is dead. For those of you who don’t know, there’s an online conspiracy theory going around TikTok that’s referred to as ‘The Dead Internet Theory,’ which basically states how most of the internet now is made up of bots and AI generated content.

Now, I know you might be saying ‘Dave, this is impossible! We see posts with so much engagement all the time!’ And you’re right, there is a lot of engagement…on the surface. However, often times nowadays when you’re looking through comment sections, you see a lot of the same repetitive phrases, emojis, and rhetorics. Just because some of the bot comments are glaringly obvious, doesn’t mean that all of them are. If you look at the comments under other videos about this theory, you’ll see how the bots behave. Worse, you’ll also realize how used to it you are, but why is that the case?

Well, if we cast our minds back to the early 2010s, we can even see in those early years of Instagram stories of people buying likes, comments, followers; buying engagement. From a business standpoint - it makes sense, especially if you are trying to build your business from the internet. Data shows that posts with engagement typically garner more engagement. That is the original purpose of social media - to promote things that people like on a social standpoint. So, if you buy some engagement, you can wedge your foot into turning yourself into a business, where the product you sell is the lifestyle you live.

This brings us to late stage social media. This theory ties into elements of the dead internet theory by talking about how a lot of the content you see on your feed is inorganic. It’s all cookie-cutter, corporate, recycled bullshit; which counterattacks the original intent of social media: genuine human engagement where you could connect with others and meet new people of any sorts. It has now morphed into this venomous monster that feasts on our everyday lives. Anytime you go on social media, no matter what app you use, it is the same. You have the for you page, the explore page, the stories, the saved posts on your profile, pinned posts, it is all the same, including the content. Creators and businesses across all platforms reuse the same material, and it’s posted to all the major social media platforms. It’s gotten to the point where you don’t even need to have them all - you just need one app to see what everyone is posting. And what they are posting is bullshit. And there’s absolutely nothing anyone of us can do about.

Anyway, I’m really interested to hear your guys’ thoughts on this. Comment down below what you think about this! Do you believe in the dead internet theory? Or do you find that you still find organic content on your social? I could be wrong, you never know! Anyway, thank you guys for checking out this video, follow me on-”

Blinking, your jaw falls open. Disgust coils in your stomach while your skin crawls. The next video’s contents play through the speakers, but your not registering a word. Everything in your brain is scrambled, trying to justify what you’ve seen.

But how can you?

You turn off your phone, setting it down on the bed next to you. Eyes wide open, you grab the spare pillow behind you and hug it, your chest tight. When your head starts to pound, you press it into the pillow, shoving down the pit of horror in your stomach while you listen to the fan hum on, scraping the ceiling with each swing.

[phil-lesterfan]

4, 22, and 61 for the ask game

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“a pleasure to have in class.” also creative :) i was quiet and bookish and usually writing stories or making comics when we had free time. i used to make my own books and my teachers would read them and put them in our class library ^_^ (copy+pasted from prev ask sorry haha)

22. role model?

amazingphil / phil lester !! i’ve looked up to him ever since i was a kid, like <10 years old. i just think he’s so cool and creative. back when youtube was at its peak, i feel like he and jenna marbles were kind of the brains behind all the “challenges” and “tags” that existed. i also like how he keeps to himself and values his privacy — i have a bad habit of oversharing, but i hold that same value. especially bc in the past i have had a very strong online presence, so it’s good to know what to keep personal and to yourself and what you just… put out there.

and then there’s the fact that he’s driven and gets what he wants; dan jokingly calls him a “sell out”, but it’s like to me if phil wants to do something, it will get done one way or another. and how he went to got his masters for video editing, and also when you can tell he enjoys things. plus, he sticks strongly to his, like… image, which can seem shallow, i know, but when he wanted to keep things more pg, he was so careful about it, and he’s so considerate of his viewers (i’ve made a post abt this in the past, how he reassured the audience he and dan are friends, when i know, if i were a creator, i wouldn’t have even thought abt that fear ppl have).

i know i’m getting parasocial, and phil could be an absolute menace off camera (i’m choosing to ignore what others have said abt him — that he’s really just a decent person 😭), but what he does choose to show, i really respect and admire. also, him coming out and having pride just really makes me happy, especially as a lesbian who has struggled with her sexuality. he makes me feel like things can get better, and seeing gay people older than me be happy and successful is really fulfilling.

61. favourite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

GOD. asking this of a past english and creative writing student is just. cruel.

“dogfish” by mary oliver has inspired my own poetry.

“I wanted / the past to go away, I wanted / to leave it, like another country; […] You don’t want to hear the story / of my life, and anyway / I don’t want to tell it, I want to listen / to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.”

and a certain scene in rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead helped me work through shit about 5 years ago

“… [T]hat isn’t what makes it death. It’s just a man failing to reappear, that’s all — now you see him, now you don’t, that’s the only thing that’s real: here one minute and gone the next and never coming back….”

lastly, and i’m really limiting myself here as i could go on about quotes all day, a quote from the best manga of all time, the cat proposed (化け猫かたって候) by hayane dento

“… Someone, somewhere in this city, is getting ready to take a plunge. Somewhere, a child is crying. Someone has come to a stop, so weighed down that they can’t go any further. I’m holding Kihachi’s hand. He is telling stories again today, stories that may or may not save someone else. And I … am thinking about writing my own story. I’ll start by writing the first letter / of the first word.”

i did not mean for these answers to get so long but one question let me talk about phil (favourite person) while the other let me talk about quotes (i’m in love with writing and language). like. oops but also not really. AUGH. thank u for the ask ^_^ <3

[dracoleopardo]

ALRIGHTTT hello fellas welcome to the official ghouse response (™) where I laugh at the silliness contained in this post because BOY HOWDY a little birdie told me you’re spouting some actual bullshit and reading this made me laugh a lot SO HERE WE GO FROM THE TOP NOW: Starting at (3) because I don’t have much to say about the first 2 — anyway this “mod” you’re referring to is my fucking daughter LMAO, and she didn't “immediately” cite you, you started getting pissy because you knew it had to do with you THEN you got cited, and we did correct you, but you made it a very big deal which is how this all started. And honestly you WERE acting pathetic and childish because this entire thing sprouted from you being told to be nice LMAO (4) Why are you talking about killing yourself in a server full of minors that has a rule against heavy venting like suicide and shit? Wasn’t that your excuse to just randomly jump into my dms to start vagueposting about everything happening and then refuse to tell me like an actual child? Your response to me asking was literally “I’m not telling you�� yaknow. Like a child?

(5) bridging on from that, why am I the issue exactly? Because I’m the owner? Sorry but I just run this joint I’m not going to sit down and take time away from being with my child and work to comfort this person telling me that they’re suicidal from being told to be nice and of course I’m going to joke about that because it’s a joke server who makes jokes in a joking manner. And if being told to be nice was this big of an issue for you, then I STAND BY YOU NEEDING TO GET HELP. — and I know nothing of anyone insulting you after the ban? Maybe I’m just not remembering. (6) this literally isn’t even a point, like what do you want me to say? I’m sorry, you fucked up? IDK (7) these lighthearted comments included insulting me when I got someone's number telling me something along the lines of “wow never thought you’d do it” and I’m way too tired to look rn but I 100% remember you saying shit when I vented and no matter what you shouldn’t make comments like that period. (8+9) okay cool? Sorry abt the autism LMAO like literally all the server has it too, but anyway how is it out of context when literally all the context is there like I’m talking hundreds of words back to back like? Ok. And yes, we’re going to smear you in the fandom tag because you’re a bigger creator, and we don’t want you hurting other people? Capiche? And boy howdy I’m excited about this doc LMAO (10) okay now you’re just saying we wanted you to commit LMAO and the reason we were taking it lightly is that we were a fucking payday server who drew catboys and watched shitty movies? It’s genuinely not that deep you MADE it deep by talking abt NSFW with minors and harassing my daughter, arch, and then me and not only that but pinning the blame on me right after LMAO???? Also, YOU ARE DELUSIONAL LMAOOO you aren’t “too smart for your own good” you’re a fucking abuser and mentally unwell and if you’re supposedly working this “dangerous job” the doc should really be sent to them so you’re taken off staff because you cannot be the one handling weapons I’ll tell you that much LMAOOO learn to trust yourself all you want because nobody else will and yes I’m being harsh because this mf harassed my daughter and someone I see as my kid. And started shit for no reason and ruined a perfectly nice friend group! I can be a little mean. Personal notes: super hyped for this doc! Can’t wait to see how OOC it is LMAO anyway this person is an abuser who likes to harass and talk abt NSFW to minors and be really fucking weird to people. And BOY IVE GOT MORE! Tag response: the whole panic room saying sexual things is like? We did crack down on that but of course people say sexual things as jokes but if it went too far it was CRACKED DOWN AND DELETED. AND ACTIVELY SHUNNED. And me responding to a minor like that was continuing a joke? Or if it’s the comment I think it is I was quoting moist fucking critikal so LMAOOOO AND ME HAVING A MINOR “LEAD MY CHARGE” THAT'S MY KID AND A FRIEND WHO AGREED TO HELP WITH THE SERVER WHAT “CHARGE” ARE WE TALKING ABOUT AHVSHSVAB if you think this was every purely about you that’s crazy because it was literally about like 5 people! That’s my little response and if I’m blocked after this you know I’m right so YEAH hope everyone else got a good laugh out of this just like I did, and I hope despa causes no further harm in the future! Also, the whole "wanting to move in with a minor thing" was never actually said by me. It was said by one of my friends, and it honestly made me uncomfortable. I just have a hard time telling people to stop LMAO I'm moving to Finland on my own if that's what you wanted to hear final thoughts: wowza LMAO also this is prof read by my daughter, and she wanted me to add that her being called just "a mod" was easily the highlight of her week. LMAO -- anyways i will never take this drama seriously cause bro just be nice its not that hard BGAHHABGA original doc for those curious: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/16PizooqKvgWXSxqTZx9qjjmjxYaWD68E

I know you all are awaiting my response, and I’m grateful for your patience. There are some things I have to address here. Never wanted to put everything out there—I don’t like drama on my blog. I have a document that’s over a thousand words long, but I realized that when people have blocked me and are saying stuff in the main tag, they don’t want to listen. They just want to hurt me.

So I guess now there are things I have to clarify… it’s heavy, but I tried to keep it short. I didn’t have the energy to read everything they were saying about me so I may get things wrong. I didn’t really want to post this.

Content warnings for mental illness, suicidal ideation, mentions of abuse.

Let’s get right into it.

1. I’ve always lived with the paranoid delusion that everyone was conspiring against me, that people secretly hated me and would smear me behind my back. I passed these off as negative thoughts, anything that might’ve “confirmed” this would set it off. I’d have an episode I would have to deal with on my own. I thought that nobody would stick with me in a crisis, and I would always be thinking along the lines of, “is it all over?”

I feel liberated, now. There’s no need to fight when they’re true. I am more at peace with myself.

2. I never want to hurt anyone. Not a real level, the angst stuff is fictional pain. I am autistic—the things you’re hearing me say are the first times I’ve talked to people (other than my family) for my entire life. I always want people to go to me when I do something wrong so I can handle it and learn from my mistakes, that’s why I have my bio set to what it is.

That, and my memory is so fuzzy that I can’t remember too much from even last week. I tend to dissociate and my brain turns into mush.

3. The “minor incident” that Ghouse and the others were talking about was one of his mods saying she’d “tear people apart” and then immediately citing me as the main cause because I was “being rude.” I told her why I was taking a break, as I couldn’t handle it, this had happened before and I asked them to correct me if I was wrong—even confirming multiple times that we were just joking around because I was paranoid.

I suggested they go straight to me for future reference. I was having a mental health episode. She called me crazy and that I was overreacting, implying I was stupid. Another mod told me I was overreacting and that I was acting pathetic and childish. This made point 1 so much worse.

4. The “suicide baiting” was something I told the Panic Room server in confidence. I told them I was talking a break. Ghouse said “it wasn’t that bad but okay,” as if he were gaslighting me. He said things like this as I was sobbing alone in my room, which he was well aware of.

I have to clarify that it wasn’t baiting. Suicidal ideation has been something I’ve been dealing with since I was 9 years old. I have been abused/gaslit for more of my life than I have been safe. I never wanted to say this, but they were brushing me off at a point where I was trying to find a reason to live. I had stupidly thought that they would understand what they were doing to me if I said.

5. That was the first time I had an episode like that. To say that it was baiting is to say I was lying. Let’s play devil’s advocate here.

If I were lying for attention, why would I destroy all my relationships in a single night? Why wouldn’t I make art or something along those lines? They’re big on art.

If I wasn’t, then that would mean that I was having a few bad days and they did nothing to help me… beyond condescendingly saying that I need help. I don’t blame the minors in the server, I’m talking about Ghouse, who is older than I am by around 2 years. I told them I called 988 and it didn’t really work. He continued to tell me off.

After I was kicked I was made aware that they immediately started insulting me. Whether you believe me or not, purposely attacking someone who’s mentally ill is… too far. I hadn’t done anything to them before this incident.

6. The reasons I freaked out was because I was sad that I had unintentionally hurt people, I had started a new, dangerous job, and… well, to be honest, I was terrified.

They were making me forget that I’d been hurt. I was starting to trust them. I had been starting to look forward to tomorrow. And, I was so scared that it would all be over. I didn’t know when, just that it would be.

Now, it is.

7. I may very well have been joking around with everything while on the server, but serious topics were serious. I was never “demeaning” when Ghouse was venting about something that happened to him beyond a couple of lighthearted comments. I thought they’d have the same respect for me. Again, I had confirmed multiple times that I was joking.

8. I might not have done much wrong in the Panic Room situation, but the other things that people are saying about me? I had no idea.

That was the first time I’d ever heard of them.

In the past, my autism had gone completely unchecked. some of those things were from when I was a week into being on my first server… ever. I was 17, had no idea how to check for age or even pronouns. Never used anything but tumblr, never interacted with anyone. Never went to school or even had a job at that point. I more tried to figure out everything based off of my own experiences… which was, not good. To say the least. The things I did, in my head, I thought they were “normal.” This doesn’t make it less terrible, but I hadn’t even remembered some of the incidents until someone pointed it out. It was so mundane to me—I was a messed up child. I’m sorry for this.

8. I wasn’t the best person, I really wasn’t. I didn’t know how to “mask” my traits at that time, I was excited to be able to talk to people. I was protective over my friends (my first friends! ever!) and very clingy. I didn’t know that people held characters close to their hearts, either? (When I have a favorite, I only want to hurt them, you see)

So while the doc was deliberately taking things out of context, some of the other accusations are true, unfortunately. I will be posting my DMs between me and the people on the server in my doc.

9. I have explanations for what I’ve seen of the accusations, but I don’t really recall anything from that incident over 3 years ago… if someone had told me, or even confronted me, I’d have known what was wrong. But they didn’t, and they kept talking to me like everything was normal. I was completely unaware. This is most of the reason I thought people were plotting against me—people would be cold to me and I wouldn’t know why. The worst part is that I can’t apologize. I can’t even try to rectify anything. Some of the people in that server still played PAYDAY 2 with me, some would even reply to my DMs. I had… no idea.

I have hurt people. Unknowingly, but still. I apologize to anyone I’ve affected. Most of it was not knowing how basic social media functions worked. I hope you understand that my behavior was out of line, and that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Don’t defend me on that, I was entirely wrong. But… smearing me in the fandom tag instead of going to me directly means that they want to attack me. They don’t want an explanation.

All of my actions were genuine. I never intended to hurt anyone, but that’s what ended up happening. I’ll put more detail into the doc.

10. I was already going to take a break. I was already doing poorly, and the server knew this. At that point, they want me to go through with it. What else would they be saying when they do all of this? Unless I’m reading that wrong. Whatever the reason is, they don’t want to help me, they’re deliberately being malicious and they know I wasn’t baiting.

Although, I guess I have to thank them. Now, I can say that I wasn’t delusional. I can say that I was too smart for my own good. How crazy does it sound to think that everyone was just waiting to betray me? But… they were. I can begin to trust myself again, even if it’s accepting some of my “negative thoughts” as reality. I won’t be reaching out to anyone I don’t already know, and there is safety in never putting myself out there again.

Thank you to everybody who stuck around. My delusions… weren’t entirely correct. Just like how most of my former friends blocked me on sight, there were a few people who didn’t mind when I wasn’t responding. There are some people who believed in me to a point where even if all those accusations were true, they believed that I could change. That’s… something I never thought I’d hear, ever, in my life. That is a form of trust I don’t deserve, really.

So, I was wrong again. Not everyone wanted me gone. It took all of this for me to realize that there were people who loved me in the truest form of it.

As for everyone who cut me off… well, I hope you understand that because of my mental issues, I can never trust you beyond a professional level. It is for my own wellbeing, because I’m still not doing good. I will still be taking that break. The PAYDAY 2 fandom was a source of reprieve for me, and now it’s not. It wasn’t an accident that it turned out that way. All my safe spaces have been taken from me. I don’t know why the Panic Room server hated me, so I can’t provide any extra insight on that.

The truth is, I haven’t been around because I’ve been dealing with depression for a long time. I’ve been passively… yknow. Not actively. I haven’t had the energy to respond to anything on most days, I’m sorry for that :(

All of this was just the breaking point, really.

Thank you for reading. I know most people won’t, but I appreciate those who do. I won’t blame the rest of you if you all decide to leave as well, I understand that. I never made the blog for other people, I made it for myself. This whole thing will serve as a reminder that there are more important things than online spaces. Can’t get therapy because I’m broke, but I can enjoy the few things I still can… even if I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. I don’t think I’ll really be here anymore, but I will be okay.

[redbuddi]

The Fnaf Fanverse is Wack

So for a little while even though I stopped being a fnaf fan I would keep my ear to the ground in terms of the drama in the Fanverse cause it was nuts. But after Theft King (A Fnaf News Youtuber) was rightfully ousted for some absolutely batshit behavior, I realized that this sub-community is so bonkers that it couldn’t go un-reported on. I deadass considered actually making a video essay again, but after realizing that doing so could have bad consequences for my friends I decided not to. But I can’t just not put out my findings, so I’m making a post on Tumblr where it’ll most likely either go nowhere, or at the very least be pretty contained. So for those of you annoyed that FnaF still has people supporting Cawthon, enjoy the schadenfreude under the cut.

(CW: for Transphobia, Social Engineering, Blackmail, Online Harassment, Grooming, and Pedophilia)

For those who don’t know, Scott Cawthon, creator of Five Nights at Freddy’s, started a project called the Fanverse Initiative, wherein he would bring in the most popular fan game devs, and give them money to fund an official game to be sold on Steam, along with merchandising opportunities. On paper this sounds pretty cool, supporting his most dedicated fans with the opportunity to be a part of the main franchise, but the more you’ll learn about Scott’s behavior, the less altruistic his motivations may seem.

I would also like to clarify before continuing that Cawthon was ousted for donating to transphobic politicians shortly after the Fanverse was announced, meaning that most likely these people’s contracts were already finalized and there probably isn’t a way for them to back out of it. However, as you’ll soon see, this clearly did not prevent them from speaking poorly about FnaF, nor was it so ironclad that their games couldn’t be kicked out. I am not criticizing these people for signing on, but for their behavior after the fact.

The Joy of Creation & Nikson

TJoC is a fan game centering around Scott Cawthon himself, as well as his family, being haunted by the Freddy’s Animatronics which have somehow crossed over into the real world. I’ll give it to Cawthon, he was a lot more chill about someone making a game about him and his family than I would be. There’s no compromising details in the game itself, but it’s still a weird thing to do about a real human man who is still alive.

The game’s Dev, who goes by Nikson, was called out for making extremely transphobic remarks. He has admitted to this, saying that he “[Wouldn’t say] that nowadays.” However, this does not prove that he is no longer transphobic, just that he wouldn’t be transphobic out loud. It should also be noted that this was part of a thread wherein he expressed annoyance at people saying that if he doesn’t support trans people then he is against them. The problem is that not only does he not acknowledge why his previous behavior was wrong, but also that he seems to think it is possible to take a neutral stance on weather or not trans people are people.

If you believe that there is any form of debate in the possibility of trans people being valid, then that means that you do not think that trans people are valid. This implies that he does not regret his statement because it was wrong, but because people got mad at him for it. While people do not need to be constantly declaring their support of trans people, the fact that he seems annoyed to do so, even after the context of his previous statements, makes it clear that he has not changed at all.

FnaF Plus & Phisnom

FnaF+ is a remake/reinterpretation of the first FnaF game. Phil/Phisnom was first recognized by Scott after his fan remake of FnaF 2 was taken down. According to this interview, Scott’s reasoning was that it needed to be taken down because it was being considered as a replacement for the real FnaF 2. While Cawthon was fully in his legal right to do so, I do think it’s very funny that one of the few fan games he took down he did because people liked it more than his game.

Phil released a thread after the info on Scott’s donations came out defending Scott, a thread that is extremely revealing. You can read it for yourself, and I trust your critical thinking skills enough to understand what’s wrong with it, but for fun and convenience there are segments that I’d like to highlight.

First off, the general refusal to state what people were mad at Scott for, Phil is as vague as he can possibly be. He also regularly contradicts himself, for example in one part of the thread saying “Ignorance can cause just as much harm as malice,” but later describing Scott as “Well-meaning but sometimes ignorant,” and still claiming that his “Good [actions] far outweighs the bad.” While Scott has helped people and made donations to charities, including the Trevor Project, he has still given a huge amount of monetary support to anti-queer establishments, and this is not cancelled out just because he has not expressed openly hateful behavior. He has contributed to making life systematically worse for trans people, and has never done the same for pro LGBT charities, nor has he even apologized for his donations. Despite this, Phil says that Scott’s response was “The best thing he could’ve possibly done.” I should also note that Phil made this thread while never once disclosing that he has a financial incentive to continue supporting Scott.

In the final part, Phil expresses that he still loves FnaF and will continue to support it into the foreseeable future...

...And then Security Breach came out and he didn’t really like it.

Only then did Phil feel disillusioned with FnaF. When it was something that affected him.

Flumpty’s 3 & Jonochrome

One Night at Flumpty’s 3 is the third in a series of games that were made to satirize FnaF’s initial boom in popularity.

The game’s developer, Jonochrome, was ousted for having a romantic relationship with a 13 year-old girl while he was 21. This relationship had continued for 5 years. When it came out, it was publicized without the victim’s consent, supposedly by a third party, however Jonochrome did confirm that the allegations were true.

While the victim for the most part vouches for Jonochrome, stating that she does not feel that she was harmed, and I wholeheartedly believe that this should not have come out without her consent, it is still the fact of the matter that Jonochrome, as an adult, entered a relationship with a minor, something that I firmly believe is inherently abusive. And even if the abuse was unintentional, it was still abuse.

Despite this, Flumpty’s 3 is still available for purchase. You may think that this is because of contracts and distribution issues, but as you will soon find out, that is not the case at all.

The Pear

Several months ago, three Fanverse Devs, Ultranite, Ramanov, and Mechlus, were revealed to have been collecting a large amount of inside information on other fangames for the purpose of leaking and potential blackmail, alongside personal information up to and including pictures of Scott Cawthon’s children. Chatlogs showed that they had been purposely being friendly to other devs for the sake of gaining information, but speaking cruelly behind their backs, even willing to destroy their own projects if it meant being able to spite other creators, Kane Carter in particular.

In the wake of this, their games Chompers and Jr’s were removed from the fanverse. While I do believe Scott did the right thing, I find it telling that he gladly removed projects that were nearly finished when the controversy affected him, but when it doesn’t, like in the case of Jonochrome, he is more than happy to continue platforming and profiting off of abusers.

The video here also states that Phisnom had suspected these three of leaking, gave them fake information, and saw them bragging about having said fake information. But in that case shouldn’t he have warned the other devs? I feel like if he had then it would have been mentioned that people were warned, but instead it seems like this came as a huge surprise to everyone. It’s just speculation on my part, but that seems like kind of a dick move.

Popgoes Arcade/Evergreen & Kane Carter

Popgoes Evergreen is a remake of Carter’s Popgoes fan game, with Arcade being a sort of teaser/tie-in game, which itself is also a remake of the teaser/tie-in game also called Popgoes Arcade which was for the first remake of the original Popgoes fangame. I know it’s confusing, I’m sorry.

Kane Carter is not nearly as bad as any of these other people, from what I’ve found, but he is a massive bootlicker and seems to have a really thin skin. He continually states that the fanverse is doing fine actually, (In one tweet celebrating the return of TJoC’s transphobic dev,) he constantly updates people on FnaF news, meaning he is more than happy to play spokesperson for Scott Cawthon, he seems to be constantly monitoring his steam reviews, and his Twitter banner image still has Flumpty’s characters on it, which I’ll assume the best and say that maybe he just never got around to changing that, but Kane you should probably fix that some time, it's not a great look.

Theft King

Theft King is a Fnaf news and drama channel. I’ve used his videos as sources several times here, as his reporting has been pretty comprehensive, but do not mistake this for endorsement, Theft is not a good person.

Recently, Theft has been heavily criticized by the Fanverse community for his behavior as a youtuber. It all started when he released a clickbaity video about how the fanverse might be ending, including thumbnails and a title implying cancellation. This inspired several other video creators to follow in his footsteps, and Kane Carter, ever ready to defend the Fanverse, made a tweet expressing his frustration at this. Remember that tweet where he celebrated the Return of the Transphobe? It was that one.

Theft King took this very personally and reached out to Carter, and when he didn’t get an instant response, felt the need to make an open letter to Kane in the form of a video. Even though, by all accounts, it seemed like Carter honestly just missed his message, and Theft was aware that that’s all it was, at this point he was so incensed that he hosted a reportedly five-hour stream where he continuously attacked Kane’s character, up to and including saying something so insane that if I quote it you’ll think I’m lying, so please click on this link and just hear it for yourself.

I can’t even begin to imagine how surreal it must be to be Kane Carter and hear someone say that about you.

In the wake of this, more people came forward with evidence of Theft acting entitled, bullying smaller creators, and in general being extremely shady in the way he acquired information, in one case discouraging a game dev he interviewed from checking with their lawyers to make sure the interview didn’t break any NDA’s.

Obviously all of this is bad, but think about how it started, with Theft implying that the Fanverse might not be doing so hot. All of these controversies, and the other community members have either ignored them, or done very little about them. The Pear Controversy was so nuts that you think it’d be all over the internet, but it’s not. The grooming, the Transphobia, even the attempted blackmailing, and everyone just keeps on truckin’. But the moment someone says that things might not be so good, they bury them.

Theft might have deserved it, but the next person to speak up might not.

Conclusion

Time and Time again a Fanverse dev will do something horrible, and everyone will say to not judge the rest of the project for it. And then it’ll happen again, and again, and again. The people acting this way are not outliers. They are not an accident. They are what happens when you bring together a group of people absolutely dedicated to denying problems. Any other fandom has been able to withstand controversy and grow from it. People still make Voltron fanart. Steven Universe is being re-evaluated far more favorably these days. The Danny Phantom fans were the first people to hate Butch Hartman. And many Fnaf fans acknowledge that Cawthon did something very bad, and continue to make fan works, and that’s fine.

But these people are not like that. They refuse to criticize Cawthon. And what a funny coincidence that these people are the same people who profit from Fnaf looking good. But honestly, I don’t think that’s all there is to it.

All of these people (Save for Theft and Jonochrome, who absolutely should have known better,) are young adults just breaking into game development, people who grew up with Fnaf and loved it enough to make games about it. And then suddenly their idol swoops in and takes them under their wing, even giving them game deals. What an absolute dream that must be, to work on the things you love being mentored by your hero. That’s why it’s honestly kind of hard for me to say this, but I feel like I need to:

To any Fanverse Devs who may be reading this, you are being taken advantage of. You have clearly demonstrated the technical and artistic skills to make great art, you even have fans that follow you through the whole way. You don’t need Scott to show you how to make games, you already know how to make games. He wouldn’t have let you in if you didn’t. But he is using you. He’s taking your creations and slapping them on shirts and plushies to pad out his bank account until the next Fnaf comes out. And as much as you’d like to deny it, until we see evidence to the contrary, a portion of the money he is making off of your work is going to politicians dedicated to making the lives of queer people worse. It might not be a lot, but it’s more than zero.

I won’t act like you all could easily just strike out on your own. Even if there weren’t contracts involved, it would be absurd for me to imply you could just quit and do your own thing and make a living that way. That’s just not how real life works. But even if you can’t do anything about that, you can do something about the community you lead, a community that is made up primarily of kids and teens. Kids who may look up to you the way you look up to Scott. You owe it to these people who have supported you through it all to give them the utmost of honesty and humanity. To learn and grow from your mistakes to show them that they can too. To do what you can to make the world better for whoever comes after you when you're gone.

Cawthon’s statement after the donations scandal came out displayed a very “fuck you got mine” attitude, and I can see it bleeding through to the Fanverse devs, the idea that if it doesn’t directly affect you, that it’s not your problem. But you don’t have to be like that. You can be better than that. You just have to let yourself. Cawthon doesn’t want you to be better than him. I mean, just look at how he reacted to Phil’s FnaF 2 remake.

This is not a call-out post, this is a wake-up call. All of us, especially those who are born white, strait, cis, etc have a number of bubbles we have to pop as we grow up. We all have a point where we have to realize that there are things we do and say without even thinking that harms other people. It sucks having to realize this, because it means you have to recognize how many people you may have hurt without even realizing, but it’s an important step in becoming an adult. Do not trust anyone who says that there’s no way things can be better. You might not be able to save the world, but you can make things better for someone out there, even if you’ll never know who it is. And games, especially horror games, have told some of the most powerful and life-changing stories of them all.

Don’t deny yourself that potential.

I do not encourage any sort of goading or harassment toward any of these devs or the people who work for them, and if you decide to do so anyway then you clearly don’t understand what I’m saying here at all. I do not want to start a witch hunt. I just wanted to say the quiet part out loud.

Thank you all for reading.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 332: This Fight Has Actually Taken More Than a Month

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “please enjoy these three whole pages of exposition about how New Order works. Spoiler alert, it all boils down to how much the user understands the nebulous inner vibes of their target, so I hope you’re all taking notes for the inevitable Final Battle Shenanigans to come.” Tomura was all “well I sure can’t wait until I get my hands on this quirk, wonder how many more chapters it’s going to be.” S&S was all “nothing else we’ve tried has worked so why don’t you Air Force guys ask the Secretary of Defense to send a few missiles our way, and in the meantime I’ll hold Shigaraki off by punching him a bunch with my giant LoK Season Two Homage.” Fandom was all, “[checking to make sure that they’re still reading the correct manga which somehow they are].” Btw how much longer are we going to let Horikoshi keep pretending that he’s never heard of A:TLA lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “I’m just gonna draw the most ludicrous attack I can think of” and has Star’s giant sky avatar make the hypersonic missiles do a couple of loop-de-loops for absolutely no reason before detonating with a giant FSHAM. Everyone is all, “I WONDER IF IT WORKED.” Tomura is all, “IT DID NOT WORK.” Star is all, “WELL I’M ALL OUT OF IDEAS, GUESS I’LL JUST STAND HERE AND FUCKING DIE THEN.” Weekly Shounen Jump is all, “WHAT IS THE OUTCOME OF THIS DECISIVE BATTLE!?” like GEE I WONDER. You’ve put us all on the spot here, WSJ. Idk, what do you guys think.

oh goody a Star and Stripe flashback, this is definitely the order Horikoshi should have done this in. who says we have to put foreshadowing before the actual thing. aftershadowing, that’s what all the cool kids are doing now

so she’s hanging out with a bunch of muscle bros in tank tops in the military or whatever I guess, and being all frustrated that her quirk doesn’t always do everything she wants it to do. though to be fair, if there was ever a quirk that desperately needed an instruction manual it’s gotta be this one

wowwww lol

“isn’t it such a shame that our sexist society is filled with men who are constantly demeaning women and refusing to acknowledge them as equals” -- man who is already well on his way to pseudo-fridging his third female character in the span of a year, in his story which already features a cast that is 75% male, which runs in a periodical which has never hired a single female editor in its entire history

-- actually you know what, just in case this winds up being one of Those Chapters, I should probably press pause for a sec and post a few Clarification Bullet Points just so that we’re all on the same page before we continue here lol. so here goes:

BnHA is kinda sexist you guys

no, it’s not as sexist as it could be

no, I’m not saying Horikoshi is a bad person, or the most sexist person who ever lived, or even in the top 100 (maybe even 1000) of sexist manga creators. BnHA is actually very progressive for a shounen manga in a lot of ways. he’s definitely trying

that being said, all the A’s for effort in the world won’t change the fact that WSJ is a boys’ club, and shounen manga’s idea of progress is “look at that, our female characters don’t all have to wear high heels all the time, and sometimes we even give them plotlines about stuff other than doing the boys’ laundry!!” I mean, pretty much anyone is going to look like a paragon of feminism when the bar is that low lol

tl;dr, I appreciate what we get, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fall on my knees in unreserved gratitude just because Horikoshi isn’t out here zooming up his female characters’ skirts every three panels. and this also happens to be the one and only thing about the series that I often find it very difficult to lighten up about, because of how it reflects circumstances in the real world. so yeah. apologies in advance, but if you continue to read this recap I can’t promise you won’t be subjected to occasional random chill-less remarks about gender equality or the lack thereof. it may happen at any time without warning! I, a person who is reading this manga on the internet for free, do in fact have the audacity to complain about some of the things that happen in said manga from time to time! and then I keep on reading the series anyway even though I only enjoy 95% of it and not the entire 100%! it’s some straight up r/choosing beggars shit! I might even choose to make a couple of critical remarks that aren’t watered down by jokes! right here on my own blog where anyone can read them!! it’s a lawless jungle out here!!

anyways lol so I think that’s about as clear of a disclaimer as I can possibly make. don’t say I didn’t warn you. now back to our regularly scheduled programming

anyway so after all of that ranting, these military (Air Force?) bros are actually being pretty chill though

(ETA: in hindsight, writing this rant seems to have used up most of my fucks lol. the rest of this chapter wasn’t really that bad so I managed to coexist with it peacefully pretty much right up until the last page, and even then it was mostly just eye-rolling and sighing. the type of situation “I’m not mad, just disappointed” was coined for, I guess.)

and you know what I like about this, is that Horikoshi actually took the time here to ask himself how S&S’s journey of becoming the number one hero might differ from All Might’s journey, and what kind of challenges and pushback she might come up against which a male character in the same situation would likely not encounter. this wasn’t necessarily the most graceful way of bringing that up, but I do appreciate that he was being thoughtful enough to consider any of this stuff at all, let alone actually work it into the character’s backstory

THAT BEING SAID, while I do appreciate what Horikoshi seemed to be going for here, I would have preferred if the message was more of a “you’re just as strong as All Might, your quirks just work in different ways” thing as opposed to “don’t sweat it if you’re not as strong as All Might, it’s not you it’s the quirk”

to be clear, it’s not that I have any kind of problem with All Might being the undisputed Strongest Character In The Series; it’s just that I still can’t really see why he’s considered to be stronger than S&S. it’s like they randomly decided that physical strength was the only metric actually worth considering. like sure, S&S may be having trouble trying to catch up to All Might in terms of bench presses, but All Might is probably having trouble catching up to her in terms of Turning Himself Into A Massive Laser-Wielding Sky Kaiju so I would think it evens out lol

anyway so Horikoshi is just not doing a good job of selling me on this Super Strength > Magic Reality Bullshit thing. and for that matter, it’s in his interests not to convince us, because aren’t we supposed to be worried that Tomura will be unstoppable once he gets his hands on this?

but these are all questions I’ll have to ponder more at some later date, because the flashback scene has now ended and we are cutting back to everyone’s favorite hypersonic missiles

so the missiles are almost there now, and Star says she’s going to have to release the laser rule in order to set up a new rule for the missiles. man, what? so you knew all along that the missiles on their own obviously wouldn’t be enough to stop him?

okay so real talk, how is this going to be any more effective than the lasers were. because regardless of whether it’s a laser or an explosive, at the end of the day we’re still dealing with thermal energy here right? meaning that you’re still going to run into the exact same problem you had with the lasers, and with Endeavor’s Prominence Burn, which is that FIRE IS NOBODY’S FUCKING WEAKNESS my god why doesn’t anyone in this manga listen to me. I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU

so now there’s an entire page of Tomura just chilling in the midst of the laser bombardment like it’s an afternoon at the sauna, and wondering what these explosive-vibes-giving things are that he can feel approaching. probably explosives, Tomura

fffffldkjl “LOL NO WAY, THIS WOMAN REALLY LAUNCHED A BUNCH OF HYPERSONIC MISSILES?” I know, right??

and there’s another page of Star giving a countdown to whatever bullshit she’s about to do, and then the bottom panel is showing the missiles breaking through her giant sky titan’s hand, which is some hella trypophobic shit that absolutely nobody in the world asked for

hey, Horikoshi? file this one along with the centipedes and the mushrooms. let’s not have any more of this ever again please and thank you

lol what the actual fuck

? ???? ??

LOL, WHAT

?????????????

is anyone going to explain to me how this makes the attack more powerful, or should I just keep reading. “keep reading makeste, duh” yeah you’re probably right, I keep going off on random tangents for no reason. I really need to focus up here

huh

well, you guys. so it appears that Star’s trump card was [checks notes] randomly having the missiles spiral around a couple of times for extra fanciness before they finally hit him. you know, for that extra spiraling power boost. the coveted spiral bonus

A WHOLE TWO PAGES OF EXPLOSIONS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FINALLY, SOMETHING BOTH AMERICAN SUPERHEROES AND SHOUNEN MANGA HEROES CAN AGREE ON. WHEN IN DOUBT JUST MAKE THING GO BOOM

WOW ANOTHER PAGE OF THE EXPLOSION. JUST IN CASE THE PREVIOUS TWO PAGES WEREN’T ENOUGH

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, MISTER SIDE CHARACTER GUY ASKING ABOUT TOMURA’S STATUS WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE DUST TO SETTLE FROM YOUR MASSIVE EXPLOSION ATTACK, BUT THE ANSWER ISN’T GOING TO BE ANYTHING THAT YOU’LL PARTICULARLY LIKE. I JUST GOTTA WARN YOU NOW. YOU MIGHT NEED TO SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE

MAN WHY ARE YOU ALL TRYING SO HARD TO PRETEND LIKE THERE IS ANY TENSION HERE LOL

“WELP, THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE MOST POWERFUL ATTACK WE HAD. I WONDER IF IT WORKED. LET’S ZOOM IN ON THIS MASSIVE CRATER THAT WE JUST BLASTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. I GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE YOU GUYS” yep. for sure, Star

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahaha oh no

“NOPE NEVER MIND. GOOD FEELING’S GONE”

OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY LOLED FOR REAL

her faceeeee oh no. oh, Star, we’re really in it now

lol this motherfucker used Decay to burrow underground to hide from the explosion. what a power move. “if I was even a millisecond late it would have been a fatal wound” lmao you asshole. “good game,” Tomura says placatingly as he shakes Star’s hand afterwards. “that was a real nail-biter right up till the end. all the respect bro, you’re one hell of a competitor. let’s keep in touch.” follows her on Twitter after. “Shoutout to my homegal S&S, we had a WILD ONE this weekend [fire emoji] [fire emoji] [fire emoji] Down to the wire! Nothin but respect [100 emoji] [100 emoji] [100 emoji] [flexed bicep emoji]”

lmaoooo now all the Air Force bros are like “OH SHIT OH SHIT” and flying around all panicked lol

“OH GOD, OH FUCK” somebody help me please why is this chapter so unexpectedly funny

NOW WHAT LOL

did the Noumu explode??

(ETA: this page is literally indecipherable to me.)

and now AFO is suddenly taking over and Tomura’s landing on one of the fighter jets still all crazed

SIGH

I’m sure you will lol. a James Patterson ghostwriter could put this quirk to better use than we’ve seen it used in this fight tbh

“do it now, Star” do what now??

oh for fuck’s

are you really gonna pointlessly squish your Respect Women Juice-drinking Air Force bros just so we can all feel even worse about this situation sob

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU

NOPE, INSTEAD SHE HESITATED FOR TOO LONG AND HE GOT HER

holy shit she basically just gave up? just straight up stopped fighting basically

I mean it wasn’t like the options were suddenly reduced to a binary “kill your buddies or let TomurAFO get you.” there were seriously more than just those two options here. you could have dodged him, or done literally anything else other than just standing there with your vaguely wistful expression and letting him grab you, Star

anyway so that’s it I guess. not one single person reading this was ever expecting any different. like Mirko and Nagant before her, S&S gets to be show-stealing and badass for approximately 1.5 to 3 chapters before her fairy godmother Horikoshi’s magic finally wears off, and her resourcefulness turns back into a pumpkin

I mean, idk. like I said, I never expected anything else. it would just be nice if we could get a fight like this where the badass lady character actually won. or lost, but still stayed relevant to the plot afterwards (and was actually relevant in any way before the fight, for that matter). or if Horikoshi would stop doing this every few months just because he can lol

anyways but good game. down to the wire. nothin but respect

[nights-at-crystarium]

Rambling about Vivi and my relationship with the game

Okay the response to my previous post was bigger than I anticipated, you guys are making me feel supported and valid and thank you so much for that ;o; <3

I’m an anxious person and an overthinker. Should I just make art posts and occasional headcanons/analyses/observations? Should I be more personal? I made this blog with this specific purpose to be openly cringe about my new obsession, so I guess there’s no point in trying to moderate myself, worst case scenario people will just scroll past something that doesn’t interest them, right?

I’ve never really told you how I got into the fandom and how Vivi was born, although it’s a peculiar story. Maybe I’ll talk about my ✧content plan✧ too if there’s still post space left. So if you wanna know more about that, I invite you under the cut!

The background’s a bit depressing, a fair warning. I’ve been an mmo and oc nerd since 2012, my first game was Wakfu: quit in 2015-2016 but kept the ocs, about a dozen of them, still hoping to tell their stories one day, then GW2: another dozen characters that never really got the chance to grow into ocs. By the time I started poking around in ARR in 2021 I felt listless and fandom-homeless so to say. Both Wakfu and GW2 are pretty obscure to begin with, then the games themselves strayed too far from my standards and expectations, that on itself is worth a huge rant but this isn’t the place and time. Games do fail, fandoms do die down. I still play GW2 to this day since I find its mechanical aspect, a loud word fully deserved: perfect, it’s plain fun.

But in late 2021, when I still slogged through ARR on my own, I also watched WoodenPotatoes, my fav GW2 youtuber, play all the way up to 5.5. I share a lot of common traits with that guy, namely the cynicism :’D I was like, show me what you’ve got, convince me why you’re such a critically acclaimed game. GW2 and FFXIV are polar opposites in several ways, I won’t derail into comparisons either, just wanna say that I had my standards and a lot of criticism for the mechanical side of FFXIV (spoiler: I still do, but there are other empty niches that FFXIV fills for me!). I was in a full cynic mode, and even that didn’t stop me from being completely blown away, wiped from the surface of Earth when I saw the aforementioned guy play and comment on ShB.

Turns out there was one box unticked for me, I didn’t only feel unwelcome in my old games/fandoms, I also missed the safety and trust you have in FFXIV concerning the lore/story. Despite being an artist with a knack for oc development and interactions, I thought of myself as a mechanical mmo player. You know, raids, pvp, tryharding. I still find great joy in that, geez, I play GW1 (one) which regularly hands me my ass on a plate and I LOVE that, but yeah, I didn’t realize I also needed the comfort of knowing that I can emotionally invest in a game’s story and characters without worrying about the immediate future.

*claps hands together* Here comes the catboy!!!!

I’ll drop the highly specific and personal details for now since those are worth a full essay on their own, just gotta emphasize how much I needed this story and this character right then and there, at the end of 2021. The more I thought about him, the more at home I felt. That I could still survive into my thirties, go through everything in my life, feel nearly drained of will to live and create, and then meet a character that’d bring me back up to 100 within months, if not weeks.

My personal life’s still a mess too big to even mention it, so I won’t. I’m just aggressively burying my head in the sand and hyperfocusing on the new comfort zone. You can tell I’m being productive, each art on this blog is like, me actively trying to comfort myself, luckily it works every time.

So, new game, new passion, what about the character I experience that passion through? My WoL was a lala.

My WoL was a lala.

Look I didn’t even glam her properly..... I just loved the hilarity of the dragoon class flavor + pink potato, I farmed those sweet commendations because of that. I also had a catgirl on another account, I actively tried to find a character that’d click with me, that’d ground me in the game world.

I’d just watched WoodenPotatoes’ complete playthrough up to 5.5, my own progress was still at ARR, these two lovely lasses were.. Lovely, but I didn’t vibe with them. Bluntly speaking with the privilege of hindsight: my gay ass wasn’t at peace. I tend to gravitate towards male ocs.

Third time’s the charm, eh?

I was going into my own playthrough knowing that ShB isn’t only a storytelling masterpiece, but a vicious dating sim as well. My only braincell was already fixated on Raha and I needed a character for him.

That probably separates Vivi from many other WoLs. He was born for ShB, for Raha, with a specific purpose. Why elezen? Because, firstly, I’ve already been drawing elf people since 2012, it’s my comfort zone, secondly, by the time I dove into ShB I was acutely aware of the catboy WoL army, other races just never clicked with me, elezen however is the obscure cool kid among this bustling party of cat and bunny people. *shrugs* I just can’t help myself! I told you about Wakfu and GW2 specifically to point out that I’m drawn to obscurity, to niches, hell, hardly related but to prove the point: I’m also a rhythm game addict and I have an obscure anime rec blog. A vocaloid fan since 2008? Listening mostly to voca metal, alternative, all those nerdy niche things.

So I join a popular game, become obsessed with a popular character, and, being myself, choose an obscure race for my WoL \o/

Just to clarify, there’s no self-deprecation, only statements. I’m confident in my tastes and choices, whatever they may be, I’m only liking the good stuff >:D

Next part of the story you can already see if you scroll down to my first posts here. Knowing his destination, I started working on Vivi’s character, picking glams for him, slowly figuring out how to draw him (I’d say his visual development’s 80% complete by now). Fortunately for him, not only I’ve made 30+ ocs over the last 10 years, I also make adopts for a living. I’ve got the skills needed to develop a cool and happy character. Look, happy character =/= character without some kinda issues and angst, I mean happy as in relatable, believeable, alive.

Alive, that he sure is. If thinking about Raha as a separate character brought me back to life, looking at him through Vivi’s eyes made me feel like I’m in love too. Another thing to make clear: Vivi isn’t me, both him and Raha are my kin to a degree but I’m trying my best to stay aware and away from projecting. It’s just inevitable that you as a creator become some kinda medium/proxy for your character’s thoughts and feelings, and it’s beautiful. Even if I find myself in pain and wailing sometimes on their behalf, ha.

I don’t have much good going on in my own life so I live through my characters. It’s hard to explain how exactly I know things about them, of course it doesn’t come all at once. Vivi’s been around for 5 months now. I started working on his story early on, however I’d say my vision of him and Raha only fleshed out in the past 2 month-ish.

Can’t believe a weeb game made me write fics again. I’ve published one over on AO3 already, a few more are slowly cooking still, mentioning them only because they actually complemented my creative process behind art and comics, helped me get that elusive “feel” for the characters, and generally, surprisingly, approaching writing on a serious level did good things to my mental state, previously disastrous. My head feels like a much more orderly place now. Well, it’s also brimming with the catboy and elf feels, which is ever welcome.

So, I’m going about my business, then something clicks, I get an idea, a scene, an interaction, and rush to write it down. There’s a 20k+ words main document for my comic, several side-documents for later chapters and random unordered stuff, fics that fit into the main storyline and should be published within context. Soon I’ll be ready to start telling their story.

This post’s already too huge and waffly and wow if you’re still here, wow. You’re just as crazy as myself, but sincerely thanks for sticking with me :’>

I promised to talk about the so-called content plan, well, I sort of already did, mentioning the comic. If you’re observant, you may have noticed the name Fragments and some numbers floating around my tags. Fragments is the cheeky name of the comic, there IS a deeper explanation but I’ll leave it for another post. Whatever bits and pieces I’ve published under that name so far are “canon” and DO belong to the main story, however, I haven’t officially introduced the comic yet, there’ll be a launch and all that. Someday. Sometime soon.

It’s big and promising and exciting, still it’s just my personal project that I wanna be thorough with. Sorry for possibly being too vague about it, I take the “ship it when it’s ready” approach, I don’t rush things because they’re first and foremost for my own enjoyment.

For now thanks for looking at the random pics and comics I’m posting, I treat them as character flavor samples, as promo illustrations so to speak, while I’m chipping away at the main comic in the background.

Okay I spoke my heart out just like yesterday, feels nice. Thanks for all your support once again ;/////; <3

[charleswaterloo]

AGREED DO THE ULTIMATE FIC REC

Thank you so much for asking!! Okay, here we go!

DC fics that I got a few paragraphs into and already KNEW were going to be AMAZING:

1. The Jason Project by loosingletters

Warnings: Major Character Death

Jason had just wanted to see his autopsy report, he had only wanted to know what information Bruce had about his death. And when Bruce hadn't given it to him, he had stolen it. He hadn’t meant to stumble upon the bucket list of a dead child and the footage of a grieving father crossing one item after another off the list.

My thoughts: I don't often cry (which isn't healthy lmao) but this fic made me cry (happy tears!). It is absolutely wonderful and while angsty it has such a beautiful ending. I can't recommend it enough!

2. Little bird by Ididloveyou_once

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim knew he was fucked if only for the way that his brain was chanting Jason, like a litany. So he definitely didn’t need to hear the cold, mechanical chuckle or the chillingly delighted 'lucky me' to know that this was not good.

He took a second to look down at his coffee mournfully.

Then, he threw it at Hood’s helmet and bolted down the Tower corridor.

Or: Tim is supposed to be at Gotham Academy for a parent-teacher conference. Hood has other plans (Titans Tower AU).

My thoughts: One of the best Titans Tower AU fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading. The ending is to die for and so fluffy - it never fails to warm my heart <3

3. Straight to Voicemail by cabbagetop

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

“Red Hood. I need you to incapacitate Timothy Drake-Wayne.” “Aw, man,” Jason sighs, shouldering through the old wooden doors and out into the street with his books under his arm. “You and half the northern hemisphere. What’d he do this time?”

Jason's phone is blowing up about one Timothy Drake-Wayne (who is Jason's responsibility since when, exactly?). Jason comfort-eats. Jason suffers long. Jason reluctantly tries to keep this Raphus cucullatus of a human being alive, and maybe finds himself sidling back into the family while he's at it.

My thoughts: I was crying with laughter by the third sentence. If you want free serotonin, you will find it here folks, I guarantee it. Brilliantly written and hilarious and such a fantastic interpretation of Jason's character. Please read this lmao <3

4. miss me? by envysparkler

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Jason’s plan to observe his family’s reactions to his resurrection…does not go as intended.

My thoughts: I think I've recommended this one at least once before, but I will do so again because it is one of the best stories I have ever had the honour of reading on AO3. It has a happy ending, but was another fic which actually made me tear up. It is just beautiful and I'm sure some of you have read it before. Read it again even if you have - it's that good.

5. No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?”

Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”

My thoughts: I know of only about 3 or 4 fics featuring Tim absolutely high out of his mind on some drug or another and this has got to be one of the absolute best of them. Whenever I feel the Depression(TM) crawling in and I need to laugh INSTANTLY I read this. It has not failed me yet. I can't recommend it enough it's so funny and a great read <3 The line below from the fic makes me scream laugh EVERY TIME:

“He’s not in his right mind.” “So? Neither are you half the time but you’re still in charge of everything.”

6. The Ouija Boy by SunnyBlue

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Timothy Drake was a stillborn baby. He was born dead, stayed that way for a solid five minutes, and was then resuscitated in the delivery room. He was a child who grew up alone, but for his imaginary friends. He had so many imaginary friends, in fact, that his parents sent him to get evaluated several times over the course of his childhood, which was spent with Tim as the only heartbeat in that house.

But that didn’t mean he was alone.

---

Tim sees dead people. When a Batboys murder investigation is going nowhere, he realizes his only chance at solving the case is to speak to the ghost of one of the victims. He has to reveal his secret to his brothers -- or risk the killer getting away.

My thoughts: STAND BACK FOR POSSIBLY ONE OF MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE FICS OF ALL TIME. I'm pretty sure I've recommended this one before but I will do so again. The story is impeccable, the mystery is ELITE and everything about it is literally perfect. I re-read this at least once a month so I can bask in its greatness and become a better person for having read it.

7. there but for the grace of god by TheResurrectionist

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

From a tumblr prompt.

AKA, "A Justice League fic where everyone argues about who's the most beautiful and intimidating sexy from the Big Three and everyone has valid points."

My thoughts: I'm going to let the note I added to the bookmark I made of this fic speak for itself. Here's what I wrote: "This was so funny - shoutout Jason for undeniable lad vibes plus the fact he felt he needed to neatly organise and write down the big three's sexiest traits."

8. American Ninja Worrier by DangerBeckett

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

It's just like Tim to give a poor college student a start in the business world. Kid's a bleeding heart, and usually, that's the sort of thing Jason avoids at all costs. He prefers his bleeding hearts on the literal side, and despite Bruce's best efforts, he's never had a head for business.

Unfortunately, though, this time the business is ninjas, and that's the sort of thing that makes Jason take notice. Because Bruce is useless, and someone's gotta make sure Tim's new internship program doesn't take down all of Gotham.

That's Jason's job, after all.

My thoughts: Please GOD just read the first few paragraphs. You'll know exactly what I mean when I say that this fic is it. Hilarious, badass and adorable. I mean, see the title of this fic rec. I just knew this fic was going to be amazing from the first line.

I have many, many more of course, but I'll leave this here for now as it's getting to be a pretty long post. Anyway, these are all fics - short and long! - that I knew were going to be absolutely perfect within the first few moments of reading. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

[thefanficmonster]

Rumors

Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤

Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.

He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 

Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.

“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“

The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.

“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.

There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...

“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“

He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.

Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:

(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)

“Corpse would never date a slut like her“

“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“

“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“

“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“

###

bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.

And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.

“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“

Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.

But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.

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[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.