#I’ll put it on hold at my local book store

[rayniscatstatue]

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY

We are getting an entire book in Keefe’s pov of what he got up to in the lost cities. Book 9.5 called “Unraveled”

I am legit sooo excited. I know this isn’t book 10 but come on, I feel like having an entire book in Keefe’s pov sorta confirms that him and Sophie are endgame

[g4rvez-r3id]

Book Lovers

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Synopsis: Spencer sees you at a bookstore and buys you a book just to be able to start a conversation with you.

Category: Fluff!

Warnings: spencer being down bad for reader, spencer also being a shy lil geek, nothing bad, just pure fluff!

Author’s Note: while i work on trying to get part three of “anything for ellie” out, enjoy this little blurb lol i also wanted to add “out on a limb” mostly because i’m reading this book rn and yeaaaa

Spencer did not want to be painted like a stalker. But the way he was acting was definitely stalker-like. He’d seen you at the bookstore more times than he could count. And often times, he found himself in the same section as you. And he didn’t even like romance books.

You’d first caught his eye when he’d taken a trip to his local bookstore. He’d been passing by the romance section, when he saw you standing there, browsing through books. He’d stopped in his tracks, pretending to occupy himself with the philosophical book he’d wanted to purchase but when he saw you standing there, he focused on anything but that book.

The way you’d been focusing on the book you were holding, holding three other books in your arm. You were focused on an entirely other world and he grew fascinated by it. You were dressed in a casual outfit, topped off with a pair of black chucks. You had a small smile perched on your face as you read the back of another book. You’d been encapsulated in the book you were reading, you wouldn’t have even known if he was staring at you.

Someone had approached you, a girl. She’d been asking if you were done browsing yet and he’d figured out that this was probably your friend and the friend didn’t seem to be browsing like you were. It was like she’d been waiting on you, actually. You’d chimed in with a, “Almost done.” Your voice sounded sweet yet thick like honey.

“Now, to choose the ones I want out of this stack.” You told your friend as you looked down at your arms. “I’ve been wanting this one for a while but this one has such a good description.” You say, gazing over your options.

“Why don’t you just get all of them?” Your friend asked and he smiles to himself, because that’s something he’d ask, too. “Because I told myself I was on a book buying ban and that I still have other books I need to read. I’m on a budget.”

Spencer looked over, seeing as you skimmed the descriptions again and your friend sighing exasperatedly but still nonetheless waiting for you to pick your books.

In the end, you’d chosen three and walked down the section. Spencer had walked down to where you were previously at and scanned for the book that you were reading and luckily — with his eidetic memory — remembered what exact book you’d picked up and found that it was called Out on A Limb by Hannah Bonam Young that you’d skipped on. He remembered the look on your face and how you pointed right at the book and jokingly spoke to yourself — or rather the book, “I’ll come back for you.”

In all reality, Spencer knew that the likelihood for the book still being there when you returned maybe a week or two from now was probably pretty low. So, in the hopes of maybe taking this opportunity to talk to you, he’d zipped towards the front of the store to pay for the book before you left the store.

And when he saw that you’d purchased the three you wanted, he rushed over to you. “Uh, hi,” He greeted shyly, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. “I, um, I hope this isn’t too weird, uh…” He holds the book toward you. “I saw that you put it down and well, the statistics of it still being here when you got back are extremely low, so… here.” You gasp as you grab the book from his grasp. “Oh, my gosh. Thank you, that’s super sweet of you! How’d you know this was the one I put back?”

Spencer shrugs, “I, uh, happened to look over when you put it back.” He told and you gaze down at the cover. “I hope that it isn’t weird, it’s just… no book should be left unread, I guess.” He chuckles to himself.

“I really do appreciate this, so much…” You trail off, looking at the man for a name and his eyes widen as he smiles, “Oh, uh, Spencer… I’m—I’m Spencer.”

“Spencer.” You repeat back to him and Spencer swears he could combust just by the way you say him name. “Well, I really do appreciate this. I have to get going now, but thank you so much. Hopefully, I see more around here!”

With that, you leave with your friend and Spencer takes a breath and smiles to himself a bit. It was a start, at the very least. He cursed himself a little bit for not asking for your number but you said you’d hopefully see more of him at the bookstore.

That had to have counted for something, right?

Well, anyways, he went to that bookstore almost every single day when the team didn’t have a case and found himself strolling down to the romance section every so often and his heart twinged in sadness when he saw you weren’t there.

Days turned into two weeks and still no sign of you. And after a particular case, he’d decided to go the bookstore once more. This time, he’d just wanted to look for a book. He seemed to have given up that maybe you just weren’t interested in him and possibly decided to go to a different bookstore just so you didn’t have to see him again. He’d given up by that point.

But as he passed by the romance section — by accident, like the first time — he’d found you, sitting in a chair by the window near the romance section. He squinted his eyes, was it really you? Were you a figment of his imagination? He’d looked around, as if a prank had been pulled on him or something.

Spencer takes a deep breath and as he gets closer, sees that you’re reading the book he’d bought for you. He mumbles to himself as he approaches you and gawks at you before speaking up, “Uh, hi.”

You look up and smile, “Oh, hi! Spencer, right? I was wondering when you were going to eventually show.” You tell him. Had you been waiting on him? Had you shown when he was off on cases or at work? Did he just screw this up entirely?

“Sorry, I, uh… work can get in the way sometimes. And I had shown, I just probably showed up on the days you didn’t.” There’s a moment of quiet before Spencer points towards the book you’re holding. Out on a Limb, the one he bought you. “I see you’re reading the book.”

“Finally, at least,” You say. “I swear, I have a whole stack of books near my bed and I still need to get to reading half of them.”

“You should try concurrent reading. Instead of committing to one book at a time, you read several books concurrently. You can switch between them based on your mood, interest, or level of engagement at any given moment. It can stimulate your brain, improve your focus and you’re short-term memory and it keep your desire to read alive.” Spencer explained and you looked at him with a smile and he closes his eyes. He really needs to learn how to have a normal conversation. He can already hear Morgan’s sigh in the back of his mind. “Sorry, I, uh, my colleagues say that I tend to ramble a lot.”

“Oh, I don’t mind.” You tell him. “I have actually thought about reading two books at once, I just thought it was weird.” Spencer decides to take a seat in the chair next to you. “It’s definitely not weird. I mean, I’ve read fifteen books in one day. And I do it all the time.”

You look at the man in disbelief, “Okay, there is absolutely no way you’ve read fifteen books all in one day.” It was too good to be true, he understood. “I have an eidetic memory and I can read 20,000 words per minute so for me, at least, it’s possible.”

“What are you, some kind of genius?” You chuckle and scoff. “Yeah, actually, I am.” Spencer said. “Although, I don’t believe intelligence can be accurately quantified.”

You stare at Spencer — he can’t tell if it’s in astonishment or disbelief. Maybe both. “You are hereby the most interesting man I’ve ever met.” You laugh and Spencer stares at you. He can’t believe he’s gotten this far talking to you. And you’re incredible and funny and beautiful.

You both sat there for at least two hours, just talking to one another. You’d asked about other benefits to concurrent reading, you’d asked about other facts but eventually had to stop himself because he wanted to know more about you. He’d found out that you often went to the bookstore with your friends because you didn’t have a car but this time, a friend had dropped you off and you’d admitted you hoped to see him today. He’d also found out that your area of expertise with books had to do with romance books, since it was the only genre you read. Or the only genre you wanted to read, at least. Your dream was to work at a bookstore, or write your own stories, your favorite color was yellow and that you spent most of your time reading instead of going out on dates.

Eventually, time rang up and your friend showed up back at the bookstore and texted you to meet her outside. Spencer stood, even opting to help you stand as you both took the nearest exit.

“Well, this was fun, Spencer.” You tell the man and he nods, “I agree.”

There’s another brink of silence when Spencer finally speaks up, “Uh, I’m-I’m sorry if this seems too forward, but… could I… get your number?” Morgan’s voice appeared again, this time cheering him on.

“Oh, you’re so sweet but—” But you had a boyfriend. But you found him unattractive. But you found him weird and unattractive. The scenarios played in Spencer’s mind. All of the worst ones. “But I don’t give my number to people I hardly know. For safety reasons, you understand?” Spencer nods, that’s completely understandable. For all you know, he could be a murderer. Which was definitely the complete opposite from what he actually was.

“Totally understandable,” Spencer says. “If it helps, I work at the FBI.” You raise a brow, “FBI?”

“Behavioral Analysis Unit,” He says, pulling his badge out to show you and you take a look at it with wondering eyes.

“Here,” Spencer digs in his pocket and pulls out a card. “This is my card, it has my phone number on it and if you’d like, you can take your time and wait until you’re ready to call or text me.”

You look at the man, “Okay, then.” You smile and your friend honks her horn, indicating that she’d been waiting long enough. You chuckle and look back at the man, “I won’t leave you hanging for too long, Dr. Genius. I hope I see you soon.”

“I hope I see you soon, too.” Spencer replies and you wave as you walk to your friend’s car and he waits until she drives away with you in the car to finally leave the bookstore.

Spencer’s mind was only filled with thoughts of you. Thoughts of facts about you, thoughts of your laughter and humility. And the fact that you were careful. He’d liked you. That was as far as he knew. And he really meant it when he said ‘I hope, I see you soon, too.’ And he hoped that you’d call him soon.

[littlenahsstuff]

hii! Can you please do Rio Vidal x fem reader? Witb the enemies to lovers plot pleaseee, maybe where y/n is also a witch and they start a fight but at the end start making out? Similar to the scene with Agatha from the 1st episode

Up to No Good

Sorry these requests are taking so long!

This is a shopkeepers AU

Warnings: Like one Major Spoiler!!! for Agatha All Along, sickness, a little bit of vomiting, Reader is going through it! Not proofread so ignore the plot holes and mistakes.

Synopsis: Rio is the annoying shop-owner next to yours. She’s constantly bothering you and making your life a living hell but you can’t deny you have feelings for her. What happens when you find out not everything is as it seems.

Word count: ~4k

There you were, standing outside, gawking at the new store next to yours. It was massive compared to your tiny shop. You almost couldn’t believe someone would have the gall to put it there, but you could see why they were confident. This new shop had everything you had and more. It was pure madness. This new witch, Rio, wasn’t someone to be messed with. She had basically set up shop overnight.

You were frantic, it was the end of her first week in Salem and you had only gotten ten customers. Sure there were window shoppers, but they quickly moved on to the next one when they saw the floating lamps and the books that turned themselves in Rios display.

It got to the point where you had to rent out your apartment while you slept in the back room of your store.

Back at your store, you were lost in thought, trying to come up with cost-effective ways of advertising and special merchandise that could draw others in. You didn’t notice the bell ring, signaling someone had entered.

“Um, hello?” You had nearly fallen off your step-ladder.

You grab the shelf to steady yourself and step down. “Oh hi there, s-sorry about that. How can I help you?” You look up and are almost knocked off your feet again at the sight of the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever seen. She had piercing eyes, rich dark hair and all around looked like a goddess.

“Well, I was just scoping the store out. Not sure I need anything though,” she smiles at you. You return it.

“Just let me know if you need help. We have anything from talismans to herbs. Everything is locally and/or humanely sourced,” you say, setting down the last of the stock. You brush off the invisible dust on your apron.

The woman hums… “Tell me more about the store,” she decides. You contemplate what you could possibly tell this gorgeous woman.

“Well, it was given to me my grandmother. It was originally just a ‘holistic’ store but now that everyone’s more accepting of witches in Salem, I changed the name. I want to make her proud, she taught me everything I know. I love my job,” you finish with a smile. She returns it. The more you look at her the more you see something sneaky in her stare. She has a mischievous glint.

“What a story. I feel like I should buy something now. Makes me want to make your grandma proud too,” she smirks, roaming around the store.

“Well you don’t have to but I’m certainly not saying no. Have a look at anything. If you’re interested in the item but are wondering if we have it in a different color we definitely do,” you chirp. You yourself make your way to the counter. You can’t help but feel giddy.

You watch as her eyes light up. You can’t see what she’s bringing up to the counter but from the looks of it it’s one of your custom sigil pendants.

“Here, I’ll take this,” she holds it out. You can definitely tell she’s flirting now, the rune she picked was a love rune and she shows it to you with a wink.

“Oh, got anyone… special, you plan to use this for? Like maybe a spouse or an estranged sibling. Any kind of love really,” you note, ringing it up. She smirks.

“Well, I’ve got my eye on someone I’ve recently met,” she purrs. You blush, not wanting to read into it just in case but flustered simply from hope.

“Oh nice” you say.

She frowns, still with a playful glint harbored in her eye. “Unfortunately,” she takes the rune, “I gotta go back to my own shop.” Your eyes widen.

“Oh you own one too? That’s cool… cool! Um, see you around?” You hate to admit how much it sounds like a plea. She gives you a nod and leaves. You could swear she’s exaggerating the sway of her hips. “Bye,” you murmur.

“Bye.”

You can’t help but watch to see in the direction she goes, thinking maybe her shop is close by. And you’re right it is, but much to your surprise, she walks right into your biggest competitors shop.

“That bitch!” You grit out.

***

It’s been another week of poor sales and you’re getting nervous. The stress, coupled with you having to sleep it in the back on the floor has been horrible on your back. There’s a resentful part of you that believes Rio came in here to mess with you. It certainly seems so with the fact she’s come in about 3 other times. You curse yourself for getting so worked up about it but you literally told her about your fucking grandmother. You were only a simple potions witch, you couldn’t magic up money like some of the other witches out there. Hell, Rio probably could. Stupid sexy Rio.

As if she could sense you were thinking of her she walks in smug.

“Howdy neighbor,” she tromps in like she fricking owns the place. Your gut boils at the fact she very well could in less than a year if you can’t figure out a way to fix this mess.

“What do you want Rio…” you say. Her eyes widen as much as her grin does.

“Thought I’d come by to check on my new best friend.” Her tone is almost sadistic. You scoff.

“Sure best friend. Just remember that when you’re in my store you can’t do anything funny,” you spit out. Her hands go up in surrender, but her face remains smug.

“Of course, I can let you be in control,” she says it low, something that makes your heart beat uncomfortably fast.

“Whatever… how’s it going with the love rune, I’m sure they’re charmed,” you exaggerate, stretching your words.

Rio puts the back of her hand to her forehead and leans backwards dramatically with a drawn out sigh.

“Alas, I don’t believe it’s achieved its purpose quite yet. It will; now’s just not a good time.” You fight the urge to role your eyes but it’s replaced by a yawn. Rio returns to her normal position and stares at you.

“Did princess not get enough beauty sleep,” she coos, pouting.

“I’m fine. I hope whatever your situation is works out so you don’t have to bore yourself with little old me.” You don’t mean it truly but boy do you need a little alone time without a failed crush gloating via very annoying body language.

“Nonsense, our little chats are entertainment to me.” She says. You grunt.

“Righttt, okay you do know I can kick you out if you don’t buy anything right?” Your brow arches. She laughs.

“Of course, I’m a shop owner too. You know that silly,” she boops your nose and you fight the rage coming over you. “Oh my god you’re cute.”

“Get out!” You growl, pointing at the door. You feel like ripping some of your hair out at this point. And Rio can tell, she’s just biting her perfect lip enjoying your frustration and it just infuriates you more. “No seriously you need to leave!” You throw your arms in the air and regret it, the twinge in your back making you wince. Rios smile falters ever so slightly.

“Didn’t mean to make you so worked up,” she chuckles. You sigh and put one hand on your back and the other pinching your nose.

“Just- I need to go get something in the back, please have left before I come back,” you (and Rio) hate how defeated you said that. Rio never feels bad for being her fun self… but, she might not feel great about this. You leave slowly to the back, cracking the door. Once Rio hears the telltale sound of a pill bottle she decides she should give you space.

When you come back out you’re a little confused at the pang you get in your chest when you don’t see her.

***

You were miserable, sick and miserable. But, the show must go on.

Time flew by in some increments and went painfully slow in another. You were debating closing the store today but your most recent electricity bill told you that isn’t a good idea.

Since it was the weekend you made a whole 20 sales, something you were extremely proud of. You were surprised too, considering you felt absolutely disgusting and maybe a little loopy. Perhaps it was the new promotion deal you worked on.

You decided to stock the merchandise that was selling the fastest, and of course once you turn your back that’s when the viper strikes.

“Hey bestie!” A voice rings out. You whip around and get dizzy, stumbling. Rio steadies you. “Woah there.”

“R-Rio?” You say.

“You don’t look so good there Y/n, maybe you should take a b-“

“No!” You interrupt, “I’m doing so well today you can’t stop me now you little devil,” you sneer. She chuckles. It’s supposed to come out threatening but your stuffy nose doesn’t exactly help you achieve that. Rio smiles.

“Well, not exactly. And I certainly understand why, you’re practically giving away free merchandise.” She says, tilting her head.

You puff out your chest with pride. “Yeah well I buy one get two for five deal will do that.” Rio pats your shoulder.

“Oh, uh, honey, your deal out front says buy one get five for two.” Your eyes widen and you scramble outside. Sure enough she’s right. After inspecting the writing it clearly wasn’t tampered. It seems that you weren’t even paying attention and you didn’t notice. You put it in the system as five for two as well.

“No no no no no!” You screech, taking down the sign. “Shit, oh my god. How did I- how did I not notice! No wonder people came up to me with so many friggan candles.” You run your hands in your hair. And go back inside, putting the closed sign up.

“Maybe you should sit down.” You agree and put your head in your hands with a groan.

“Are you here to gloat?” You ask, afraid of making eye contact.

“No… do you seriously not have anyone to help you run the store?” She asks coming closer to you. You shake your head. While you’re looking away you miss the genuine concern on her face. Without asking permission, Rio holds the back of her hand to your forehead. “You’re burning up, where do you keep your illness remedial potions? Have you even taken anything?” Her questions make you feel dizzy and you genuinely feel like you’re gonna vomit.

“Third shelf up to the right by the window,” you say drowsily. You’re too out of it to see the way Rio rushes to get it. The pain in your forehead seems to grow with each passing minute. The pain relievers for your back have stopped doing their job but you can’t remember the last time you took one regardless. She comes back. You gag as she hands it to you but you push it away and grab the trash can. Rio winces as you vomit.

“Oh shit…” she says. “Y/n as your bestie I got to say, I’m a little worried about you not taking care of yourself.” Her voice is abnormally soft. You can’t help but cry, partially due to the burning in your throat, partially due to the pent up emotions and the fact that the person making your life hell is being so nice to you.

“Why, why are you being so nice, you should be having a blast. Just my luck,” you hurl again, “Business has been really bad and on my good day I’m violently ill. It’s still objectively bad too, five months ago I’d get 20 sales before noon. And all of it’s because I fucked up.” Rio is stunned, she’s never been good with many emotions but she feels awful and knows she has to do at least something. She holds your hair back. She’s regretting this elaborate plan.

“Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay. You’re clearly in a lot of pain right now, you don’t deserve to be mocked at all.” And her words only make you feel worse. If you think about it, she’s never been a hundred percent awful at you. You actually really really liked her up until you found out who she was. It was her business that was causing all these problems.

“I’m sorry, you should go. You- I can take care of myself,” you sigh. Everyday it looks like you’re gonna have to sell the store more and more. You’re terrified. You think that it’s all your fault that you took your grandmothers beautiful store and ruined it. You were a shit witch, and shit at your job in your opinion. Rio bit her lip and stared at you.

“No, no… tell you what. I’ll leave you alone but you have to promise me that you’ll take care of yourself. And your grandmother is so proud of you. She says so all the time.” She says and you’re mostly grateful. The pang in your chest returns again at the thought of you leaving. You realize she said something weird though.

“What, my grandmother is dead… are you also a medium which? I thought you were a green witch?” You say, picking up your head.

She looks to the side and let’s go of your hair. “Um… sure, let’s go with that. Anyways, I’ll leave you to it,” she stands up, “and take care of yourself missy.” She finishes in her usual mocking tone. She leaves out the door soon after.

Your left there confused before you see the potion. You remember you need to take it and you down it, gagging at the flavor.

“I have got to invest in flavor drops.” You say.

***

It’s been awhile since you’ve seen Rio. Her store’s also been closed for a couple of days. You should be ecstatic but you have to admit it’s been lonely without her popping in to bother you. On the bright side business was back to usual and you were making enough money to actually pay your bills again, the renters check wouldn’t come until next week but you might have enough to spring for an actual mattress.

You were honestly worried about Rio, worried you made her feel so uncomfortable she’d avoid you forever. You couldn’t sleep because of this thought and stumbled out of the back room in the dark. You managed to crash into a mop bucket and trip into one of your shelves causing it to crash and for all of your potions to shatter.

“Fuck!” You yell, you try and get to the light and manage to cut your foot.

Rio didn’t have to sleep, she stayed late at the shop looking over everything over and over. She was getting bored when she heard the crash coming from your shop. She quickly runs out the door to your shop, thinking someone broke in. She doesn’t need you having any more problem. She feels awful for the ones she caused. The door unlocks with a waive of her hand and just as she opens the door you flick on the light showing everything in its chaos.

“Uh, hi,” you awkwardly chuckle, wincing at the sting of your cut and the bruises that were already forming. “Good to see you”

Rio stands in confusion at the sight of your limping form in your tank top and lacy sleep shorts. She has to fight the urge to lick her lips.

“Are you…. Are you sleeping in your store?” She asks and you sigh, dropping the awkward smile.

“Yeah, I had to rent out my apartment on extremely short notice and now I live in the back room.” You have no clue why you’re being so honest but you really need to sit down as standing on your one foot is getting really tiring.

“Crap, you’re hurt,” she notices (originally it was because she was taking her eyes over you in your skimpy sleepwear glory) and goes over to you. She casts a spell and heals your injury. She waves her hand to get rid of the mess too and any other glass.

“Thanks.” You say. A beat of silence passes. “Why are you here?” You ask, suspicious.

“Well I thought someone was breaking and entering and I can’t have my bestie getting robbed. You roll your eyes, silently grateful she’s back.

“Alright. Um thanks. Yeah…” you trail. Now that she’s in front of you, you decide enough is enough. You have to tell her the truth. “I don’t want to put you on the spot but business has been really bad up until you closed your shop for the past few days. So- I live here now. I can manage into next month but I might have to sell the store. I guess what I’m asking is- would it be possible to get a job at your store when I do?” You felt awful about asking her for this, and you fully expect her to say no. She gives you a smile.

“I’m um, I’m actually closing the store.” She suddenly says and your eyes go wide. You stammer in protest,

“W-wait why? What about your employees!? You’re not moving away are you?” Your concern makes her smile bigger, confusing you more.

“Well… to tell you the truth I didn’t need it at all and it was interfering with my actual job.” She admits, enjoying the puzzled look on your face.

“What actual job?” She isn’t quite sure how to approach it, nevertheless, she tries.

“I’m death. I know it sounds ridiculous but I’m actually death, that’s me.” She says. A grin breaks out on her face.

“You’re joking” you start laughing and while she loves your laugh she’s not joining and you stop. “You- YOU’RE DEATH!” She waves her hands.

“Surprise! Um yeah, anyways, so funny story actually. Remember when I said your grandmother talked about you all the time. Well basically… we’re besties too,” she sees the shock on your face grow bigger and bigger. She’s about to make it worse.

“You know her, as in you took her once she died and you became best friends?” You interrogate. It doesn’t make much sense. She rolls her eyes.

“It’s not like I killed her and she’s funny. She basically talked the world of you. And she was worried about you, said you were lonely single and sad” Rio pouts briefly before her grin returns, “so she sent me. And I personally agree with her. But I’m single too so I thought I could do something about it.”

Your head is reeling, Rio is death and the only good thing about this is that your grandmother is happy (for the most part) and that the crush you’ve been trying to ignore because she’s been destroying your life reciprocates.

“Let me get this straight… you are ‘besties’ with my grandma. And you heard all about me, including the fact I’m single and you decided to run me out of my fucking house and almost my business. That’s not gonna get me to like you back and I don’t exactly think my grandmother appreciates that!” You yell, pacing back and forth. “It doesn’t fucking make sense!” You let out a huff.

Rio wants to be patient but she’s getting a wee agitated too. “Well in my defense she told me you like romcoms and I wanted to make a big impact. I wasn’t aware that I was so good at it, I hated running the store!” She crosses her arms as you still pace.

“No, no, no, no, no. You don’t get an ‘in my defense,��” you mock in a high-pitched tone, “This store was my baby. I don’t care if you didn’t like running yours and it was for a twisted sick romcom move. You saw what it was doing to me, maybe not all of it but you did. How could you honestly think I’d like you. How!?” At this point if the crash didn’t wake your neighbors then your screams did. You didn’t care, you were hurt, and so confused.

“Look I’m sorry okay! I’ve quite literally never told anyone I’m sorry for anything but I am. It was wrong of me and I let it get way out of hand. I used my magic way too much and rather than it being a cute little competition I got sucked into the feeling of one-uping you to prove I could one day help you and to show you I’m worthy. I didn’t become aware that it was that bad till I saw you when you were sick. I immediately closed the store and went to your grandmother who filled me in on all of the other horrible things I caused for you. I’m so sorry.” Rio chest heaves as she spews her words.

You stop pacing, biting the skin on your thumb. It’s a nervous tic that’s recently reared its ugly head again. Rios crying, and she hates it. She looked so much like a scolded child that you laugh. She’s confused now. You actually feel like you’re going insane but you just want one good thing so you get right up in her face and look into her eyes. She thinks you’re gonna slap her, but you grab her face and give her the angriest kiss you’ve ever given anyone. Okay and maybe you do slap her but not too hard. You just laugh at her nervous look.

“You bitch,” you say incredulously, “You really did all of this just to ask me out? You do realize I would have said yes the second you walked through that door right? Rio… I like you, I do. You can be the most annoying and conniving creature I know, but you’re charismatic and beautiful. So… since you’re so powerful, I will go out with you on several conditions. Would you like to hear them?” Rio nods her head eagerly.

“Please.” You smirk.

“Look at you, using your manners and everything,” Rio rolls her eyes, “Alright, I will go out with you if you give me everything you earned from your store. I know for a fact you don’t need it and since it wasn’t supposed to be a real store those are my profits. I want you to apologize to my grandmother too and tell her I said thank you for the gift. Secondly, I want to go on a vacation with you to wherever because I’ve wanted to for years and I deserve one. So pack your bags or this ain’t happening” you look between the two of you.

In any other situation these demands would look absolutely insane and maybe they still do but you don’t care because you were stressed and this relationship was already extremely unhealthy on both sides. She pretends to think about it but eventually smiles.

“Of course,” her devilish smirk returns, “but don’t think I don’t still have any power over you dear. I may have been naughty and will prove to you every day that I can be better but watch yourself. After all you can’t cheat death.” She winks and you sigh.

“When I get a couch and a real bed you’re sleeping on the couch,” You simply say and her smirk falters slightly.

“Touché. Oh before I forget,” she puts her hands on your hips. “Check my right pocket.” You give her a raised brow and check, immediately figuring out what it is.

“The love rune,” you hold it up, “you bitch.” It’s said fondly.

“Told you it’d work,” she whispers holding your cheek. And you scoff lightly.

“It’s my own product, I knew it would. But for the record, I knew I would love you from the second I saw your devilish smirk.” You admit. She bites her lip briefly before pulling you into another kiss.

“I’ll give you the world,” she murmurs against your lips. You laugh,

“First give me my money back… but after, all I want is you.”

[onlystylesangels]

Silent Struggles

Anon: I might have a request … :) so what if harry found fem!Y/N’s pack of cigarettes and he didn’t know she smoked bc she never mentioned anything and he talks to her bc he’s concerned?/ Anon: H's girl seems to be acting off and he confronts her and it turns out she's been dealing with some depression and anxiety and she's been to scared to let anyone in or... reader seems to be going through something and hasn't told anyone about it and starts smoking cigarettes; dealing with her problems alone.

Warnings!!!: talks about anxiety, talks about depression, smoking, fluff, Harry being a supportive boyfriend, reader feeling insecure

A/N: Hello!!!! I know it's been a very long time since I have posted a new Harry writing. But here it is, lovies! I hope you enjoy this one. !!!***Before you read I want to start by saying that you are loved and you're precious to this world. I love you, yeah, you the lovely person that's reading this. I care about you and there are so many people around you that care for you too. Please if you're going through something, don't fight alone. Please tell someone what you're going through. Please be safe. -A <3

It happened as always. At night you would wake up from a nightmare, open the drawer from your nightstand and rummage for your new pack of cigarettes, the plastic wrapper still intact. You took two cigarettes out and grabbed your lighter. You walk into the balcony and start the fire. You inhale a sharp breath and let out the hollowing contents of nicotine. It felt nice. Feeling the nightly fresh air hit your exposed arms, goosebumps adorning your skin as you puff out smoke from your mouth. It happened as always, as a freshly new night routine. 

The next morning you woke up with the bitter taste of nicotine filling your senses and feeling a bit dizzy when you sat up from bed. You quickly grab your phone and look at the time. It was already 9am and you were positive that you were going to be running late to the local bookstore. 

So, you take a shower and put on clothes that may or may not have matched together to create a decent outfit, but fuck it. You were about to be late so you had to work with what you had. You quickly dashed to the kitchen and prepared a quick breakfast and made sure to message Harry. 

“Hi bubba! I’m heading out to work. I’ll see you later today, okay? Love you.”

“Sounds good, love. I love you too. Make sure to drink enough water!” 

Harry, always the caring type. You loved that about him. Having a person loving you for you and always making sure that you were doing okay was one of the blessings that you took for granted. If only it were that easy to show that same love to yourself.   

“Richie! Did you get a chance to call Davy? His favorite book just came in and he had first dibs on the book” You shout out to your coworker who always seems to be too busy to work as he is sitting at the back corner of the bookstore, scrolling through his phone. Pesky phones, fucking culprits of rotting out your brain.  

“Haven’t gotten a chance, Y/N. Why don’t you call ‘em?” Richie sends you a head nod and immediately looks down at his phone. Fucking twat.

You roll your eyes and walk towards the front desk and call Davy. But before you start pushing down the buttons on the phone you see someone come in.

“Hey Y/N! Has that book come in here yet?” The man of the hour. Davy, the active reader and loyal customer of the Blues Blues Bookstore. 

“Hey there, Davy. I was literally just about to call you. I got that book reserved here for you. Hold on.” 

You walk towards the back of the store and retrieve the book that had a bookmark with his name plastered on it. You walk towards the entrance and hand it to him. He quickly takes the book in his hands and begins turning the pages. 

“I love it! Thank you again, Y/N! Glad I got here as quickly as possible.” 

You turn towards the computer and begin typing away, clearing the book for Davy.

“My pleasure, Davy. Just make sure to always come back. You’re keeping us in business, remember?” You joke, making Davy laugh and giving you an eye roll.

“Yeah, yeah. I recommended some people to come by to the store. Not sure if they found their way in yet.”   

“Haven’t seen any new faces lately. I would ask Richie, but that twat doesn’t do anything here, so I guess no new customers.”

“Hmm, you should bring that up to Daya. I’m sure she’ll fire the guy.”

Firing Richie, tsk, that guy is literally family to Daya. Even if you tell her that Richie doesn’t do anything in the store she’ll find a way to defend him and tell you off. There is no way that you would ever start a conversation regarding firing Richie to Daya; she’ll never believe or listen to you. 

“We’ll see.” Is all you say as Davy puts his new book in his satchel.

“I’ll see you around, Y/N.” Davy says as he starts walking towards the doors. “Oh, and tell that boyfriend of yours hi. I haven’t seen that English man in a while.” 

You smile at the thought of him bringing up Harry. 

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll tell him you said hi. See you Davy.” You wave goodbye to him as he does the same. 

During your break time you try to sneak in some time to smoke a cigarette and make sure that the door you come out from is shut tightly. You feel dumb for hiding your recent cigarette intake from people, but then again, people see you as the nicest and innocent person on earth. Yeah, sure. But you kept thinking about the deadline. Your personal deadline that you set yourself to meet someone at the law college that you have been researching on. 

For a couple of months now you’ve been thinking about applying to a local law college in your city and were afraid to continue the process. You continuously had non-pep talks about how you would be a terrible law student and that you may not make it to getting accepted into the college. This and telling anyone about it was just too much for you to handle. You didn't even tell Harry yet. You knew why you didn’t want to tell anyone; you didn’t want to burden them with your problems. Problems that you knew were affecting you mentally and emotionally. 

= = = 

After the break you couldn’t stop the thoughts running through your mind. The mere thought of reaching out to the law school representatives and going to that mandatory interview to see if you were worth being a candidate for their college was already too much to think about. And so you continue your work in the bookstore. Putting new books up on the shelves and welcoming customers into the bookstore. Parents accompanied with their children as you reach for the candy jar under the front desk to offer to the children. You liked your job at the bookstore, but you felt like you needed a change of scenery, especially after working there for four years. And the thought of leaving this job and trying something new frightened you.

A couple of minutes before you were off. There was a ding heard at the entryway.

“Sorry, we’re closed. You can come by tomorrow at-” You look up from the front desk and notice that it’s Harry. Carrying a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His hair started to grow from the buzz cut he got months ago. Gray trousers and loose fitting t-shirt that was starting to rip at the neckline. You told him to throw that shirt away but he always replied by saying that it was his lucky shirt. Did you believe him? Of course not, but if he claims it is his lucky shirt then it’s his lucky shirt.

“Harry!” You run towards him ignoring the stack of books that were in front of you that needed price tags. 

Harry smiles and hugs you back as he kisses your cheek. “Hi, my love.” You walk back a bit and finally take notice of the bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

“And these?” 

“Oh, I got ‘em for Richie. You know that marvelous coworker of yours,” He lies through his teeth, your eyes rolling at the mention of his name. He notices your change of mood and lifts your chin with his thumb. “Hey, lovie. I’m joking. These are for you. I saw them at the local flower shop and thought that you would like ‘em.” Your lips start curving into a smile and you give him a kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, Harry,” you smell the flowers and softly touch the flower petals, “They’re gorgeous.”

“You’re welcome, my love.” Harry follows you as you go towards the backroom. Retrieving your things and ready to call it a day at the bookstore. 

“Ready?” Harry asks you. You smile in response and immediately grab his hand as he leads you both to the exit. You lock the doors to the bookstore and leave walking hand-in-hand with Harry.

You reach your apartment and unlock the door to your little home. You walk in along with Harry and make your way to the sink and grab a vase under the sink cabinet. Harry watches you as you fill the vase with water and stick the flowers in it; he admires your acts and just leans his weight on the kitchen island and stares at you as if you were this beautiful undiscovered galaxy. 

You catch him staring and you get shy all of a sudden. You get a bit self-conscious, but then that feeling goes away when Harry walks towards you and cups your cheeks. 

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.” You feel your cheeks get hot and you quickly turn your head away from his gaze; not even hiding the smile that you had. Harry chuckles and swiftly turns your head back to his gaze. “Don’t hide from me, love. It’s just me.” Harry teases, the back of his hand smoothly running down your cheek. 

“You make me nervous, Harry.” You confess, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you making me shy.” 

Harry picks you up and walks towards the couch. He keeps you on his lap as you continue hiding away from him. You both have been dating for over a year and so you must’ve at least gotten used to all those times that Harry gets you all flustered, but you haven’t yet. It’s like falling in love with him for the first time. That’s how you feel right now. Your body is so close to his and his arms wrapped around your body as he just holds you. Appreciating your presence; he held you in strong arms as if he was afraid to let you go. And he was.

For the rest of the evening you both order takeout from two different restaurants because you were craving two of your favorite foods. Harry happily ordered from the two restaurants as he left you in an excited mess. Excited that you were finally going to eat those foods that you craved for so long. The food doesn’t take long for it to arrive at the apartment and so you and Harry eat on the couch and watch some movies to pass the time. You both joke around about the characters from the movie that you were both watching and made the night pleasant. 

As the night went along, you were laughing along with Harry and enjoying being in each other’s company. You wished you could be there on the couch all night, but you were starting to yawn and your eyes starting to droop from how sleepy you were. Harry noticed and turns off the tv and grabs your hand and leads you both to your bedroom. He lets you go into the bathroom first to start your night routine as he lies down on the bed scrolling on his phone. 

You walk out the bathroom and stand over the bed and lean down to meet Harry’s eyes. He plops his phone down on his stomach and you take this opportunity to kiss his pink lips. 

“Mm, I don’t want to shower anymore.” He whines in between kisses. You chuckle and grab both of his hands and try your best to lift your boyfriend up from the bed. Jeez, you weren’t an active gym-rat, but from just lifting up his body you felt like you did a whole workout.

“Damn, Harry.” You swipe a hand over your forehead. Harry laughed in response. 

“My bones are heavy, love.” He simply responds as he walks towards your dresser and opens up his designated drawer that has some of his clothes in it. “Be right back, lovie.” He looks behind him and sees you starting to make yourself comfortable on your side of the bed. 

“Don’t take too long.” You respond

“I’ll try not to.” He walks to the bathroom with a new pair of clothes hanging on his shoulder. He leaves the door open; the showerhead turning on.

A couple of minutes pass and Harry walks back into the bedroom; drying his hair as best as he could. It was easier for him to dry it now that it was shorter. You lift up the bed covers inviting him inside the warm cocoon. You both lie together, Harry spooned you from behind and as you brought one his arms up to your chest. You both fall asleep into a quiet slumber. 

But you wake up after a couple of hours. You didn’t even bother to check the time as you opened your eyes and slowly removed Harry’s arm from hugging your body. You sit up and walk towards your bedside drawer; already knowing your nightly routine. You grab the pack of cigarettes that were hidden under some of your favorite books and miscellaneous items that you kept forgetting to get rid of. You also get a lighter that was stashed inside your purse and go outside to the balcony.

The butt of the cigarette blazes to life as you take a breath in of the substance and slowly let a breath out. Your thoughts once again start to disappear with every intake of breath you take. It numbed them, made them disappear, but only temporarily. You knew that smoking was making your lungs get sore and your nose wrinkling still not getting used to the smell of the smoke, but you didn’t care at that moment. It numbed everything, it numbed your problems and it made everything feel-- better.

As you continued puffing out air of smoke you continued looking up at the sky, stars aligning the horizon randomly. With each puff of smoke you felt the anxiety slowly go away. You were almost down to the brim of the cigarette, so you could comfortably go back to sleep. Once you were about to inhale one last breath of nicotine you heard footsteps making its way towards the balcony. You freeze and hold the cigarette in your  fingers, bringing your hand to your side. 

“Y/n?” Harry says as he rubs the sleepiness out of his eyes. “What are you doing out here, it’s la-” He stops himself once he notices what’s in your hand. He looked confused, he didn’t know you smoked. 

“Harry.” You reply. The cigarette is still in between your fingers, burning away. 

“I- I didn’t know you smoke.” Harry begins slowly walking towards you, concern sketched in his eyes.

You look down at the cigarette that continues to burn away and you feel tears start welling up in your eyes. You bring the cigarette up in front of you and stomp it on the floor, watching as the smoke starts consuming your nose. Regret. Regret is what you were feeling as you turned to Harry’s presence, his demeanor causing you to feel like a deer in front of headlights. You’re sorry. Sorry that you never told him that you picked up smoking because of not having anything else to control your anxiety. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Harry runs to you and embraces you with all his might. “Oh love. Come here.” You snuggled into his embrace and began crying. You held onto his arms so tightly that you were clutching onto him afraid of him letting go. Letting you go.

“I was scared. I just wanted to help… myself.” You mutter.

Harry held you as he ran his hands down your back. He would occasionally massage your head. “I promise you baby, I am going to be here for as long as you want me to, then you can let me in and help you.” He held onto you tightly and he kissed the side of your face. Harry let you cry on his chest as he rubbed your back soothingly, trying best to comfort you.

“I just felt alone.”  

Harry steps back a bit and looks you in the face, concern written all over his green irises. He held your hand in his and met your eyes filled with tears.“You have me, darlin’.” Harry said, his fingers lightly brushing away the stranded tear on your cheek. “I’m right here, Y/N.” He reassures you. Bringing you close to his body again.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m sorry.” You let out, Harry cupping your cheeks trying to calm your nerves. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. You have nothin’ to apologize for, lovie.” He looks at your bloodshot eyes. Seeing you sad like this he felt broken. Broken that he didn’t know how to make you feel better, broken because he hated seeing you without a smile on your face. Broken that he wasn’t aware that you were hurting. “Is it okay if I ask what’s going on?” He said with a soft voice. 

“I– I just been sad and overthinking, okay.” You let out, your hands coming up to cover your face. You felt ashamed, as if a parent just witnessed the most disappointing act from their child. You hated feeling insecure in your own skin; you felt worse that it was Harry that was looking down at you with concern in his eyes and his body weight shifting to softly take your hands in his and seeing your face. 

“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby, you’re scaring me. What are you sad about,” Harry steps back a bit giving you room to speak and mostly giving himself self-control from forcing you to share what’s been making you sad. “Baby, I’m right here, okay. It’s just me.” 

You slowly turn your head away from his gaze and look at the sky. Your hands no longer covering your flushed face, but now twiddling with your shirt, Harry’s shirt. You feel bad that you now created droplets of tears on the collar of his favorite shirt. 

“I just have been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and I just… sniffle… I didn’t want you to worry about me.” Your hands constantly were moving from your face down to your shirt. Harry catches your little antics and walks towards you, slowly, making sure that he has a good distance between you two before he starts again.

“Y/N. I had no idea that you were going through something. I had the feeling that you were acting a bit different, but never thought that something was affecting you,” He waits for your permission to come in closer and so he takes no time and has his hands cupping your cheeks. Tears staining your beautiful cheeks that he so dearly loved taking his time in kissing and feeling your soft skin against his ring-clad fingers. “I wished I knew you were going through something.” He confessed, sensing a feeling of regret that he felt for not seeing the signs of you feeling depressed and not being your energetic-self. Now as he looks back, he noticed your change of behavior. Being a bit more reserved, but still communicating with him which led him not sensing a shift of you. 

 “You always told me that it was your period messin’ with ya mood. I was so stupid to believe that. Baby, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.” 

It’s true. You shared to him that the past couple of months when he would suggest going out to shopping outlets and going out for dinner you would simply reply that you weren’t in the mood to go out in public. That your period was getting the best of you and drained your energy. It was true that you had bad days when you were on your period, but you made him believe that it was your menstrual cycle being the culprit of you feeling drained. 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” You cried out, his hands holding your head as he hugged your frame and landed kisses on your head. 

“It’s okay. I know now that you haven’t been feeling good. Jus’ let me help you, yeah?” Harry looks down at you, your eyes bloodshot as a soft smile creeps up on Harry’s lips. You follow suit and slowly mimic a smile back. 

Harry leads you back to the bedroom and lets you sit on the edge of the bed. “‘M going to start a bath for you. Is that okay?” 

You nod in agreement and he starts turning on the bath faucet, making sure that the water is warm enough to calm your body and hopefully make you feel a bit better. As he is sure that the water is at the right temperature he comes back to the bedroom where you are still sitting on the bed. He kneels in front of you and looks up at you, his hands running up and down your arms gently. 

“The water is almost ready for ya. I’m gonna get those bath bombs you like so much and light up some candles.” He says, reaching towards your head and landing a kiss on your forehead. You softly smile at his action and continue looking at his beautiful eyes that you could never get tired of looking at. 

He goes back to the bathroom and takes a blueberry muffin scented bath bomb and throws it inside the bathtub as he watches the water fizzle and quickly change into a dark blue hue. He then lights up a couple of candles and sets them on the sink cabinet.

He comes back to the bedroom and Harry motions for you to stand up and you do and follow behind him making your way to the bathroom. He’s about to leave you alone in the bathroom for you to get undressed, giving you privacy.

You quickly reach towards his hand and he stops from walking out the bathroom. He looks back at you waiting for you to say something. 

“Stay, please.” You mutter softly. His hand slowly intertwines with yours as he shuts the door behind him and walks towards you. Nodding in agreement as he follows suit and starts undressing. You motion for him to help you unclasp your bra and he quickly does it with ease. 

You step into the warm water and instantly feel the water relieving your tired muscles. You didn’t even realize how tense your muscles were. Harry then follows you and lands both feet on the warm bathtub. He lies down first and motions for you to lie down against his chest. You carefully situate your body close to his and feel his thick thighs wrap around your own legs, his arms wrapping around your mid area. Your breasts touching his forearms. Your skin sinking into the warm embrace of the scented water as you shiver, goosebumps trailing on your skin yet again from the cool air coming from the bathroom. Harry cups his hands into the water and brings it up to splash water on your chest and remaining skin that has yet to make contact with the warm water. You smile from his gentle mannerisms as you lean back into his chest, your head cradling on top of his chest. You look up at him as he smiles down at you, dimples on full display. 

Harry kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes and smile in response. His soft touches always make you feel relaxed.

“You want to talk ‘bout it?” Harry asked, his hands making small circles on your belly.  

“No. But I need to talk about it,” You reply, holding onto his free hand that’s holding onto the tub. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I have been thinking about going back to school. Law school.” You confess, playing with Harry’s fingers and tracing his knuckles.

“That’s exciting, love. I’m happy that you’re thinking about going back to school.” He soothes your belly some more. 

You turn your head just enough to catch his gaze. “Yeah, but I know how much you want to move in together. I want to move in together too, but law school isn’t cheap.” 

“We’ll figure it out together. I can always pick up extra shifts at the tattoo parlor and maybe sell some of my songs on the side.” Harry assures you. 

“But, I don’t want you working too hard for my sake. That’s one of the reasons why I was afraid to tell you this.” You turn your attention back to Harry’s freehand and continue tracing his knuckles. 

Harry catches this and softly tilts your head so he could see your eyes. “Hey, lovie. We’re in this together. If you have dreams of your own I will stand by you and help you achieve those dreams. We’re a team, yeah?” 

You smile up at him. Tears slowly start to blur your vision. You have always been like this. When new problems would arise you would shut-off, you wouldn’t tell anyone about what you were going through and it was hard for you to ask for help. You were that friend that always told people to reach out to you if they were going through something, but that’s the exact thing that you don’t do. Leaving yourself to fend for yourself; self-sabotaging yourself. 

You look away and land your hands on your knees, feeling tears starting to slide down your cheeks again. “I feel like such a loser. Why is this small thing bothering me so much?” You quietly say. 

Harry shifts his body just enough so he could see the state that you’re in. He moves a couple of your wet strands away from your face and tucks it behind your ear. “Hey, don’t call yourself that. You’re not a loser. You’re my beautiful girlfriend who's the strongest person I’ve ever known.” 

Pfft. “Strong?” You repeat, feeling an urge of disgust with yourself. 

“Hey, whatever you’re feeling, we’ll get through it together. You’re strong for sharing what you’re going through.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Harry.” You turn your head and stare at his eyes. Wanting to feel his lips against yours.

“It’s okay, baby.” He kisses your shoulder and notices how your gaze looks at his lips. He meets your eyes and leans close to kiss your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his body closer to yours, feeling his body heat. Your arms run down his tattooed arm and leave his lips wishing for more as you start kissing his swallows on his chest. 

He brings your face close to his. “We’ll do this together, lovie. I promise.” He says through kisses, kissing every crevice of your face, making you smile from his facial hair tickling your skin. 

As you two finish up bathing and drying your bodies and changing into clean clothes; you started to feel better. You weren’t sure if it was because you finally told Harry what you were going through, or if it was because you had Harry with you being that only person to see you at your lowest and comforting you. You didn’t know, but you felt good.

You both get ready for bed. Harry finishes brushing his teeth and putting a serum on his face that you recommended him to try. You lay down on the bed waiting for Harry to walk into the bedroom. He discards his shirt and throws it somewhere in the bedroom. Thinking about that in the morning he’s going to be looking for that garment all morning. The thought of it makes you smile. 

Harry walks to the bed and lies down. He motions you to climb on him and you do as you carefully situate one of your legs to be between one his legs. You look at him to check if he looks comfortable.

“Is this okay?” You asked, he nods and slides a hand under your shirt, his hand running up and down your back. He kisses the crook of your neck. You lie your head on his chest and hear his heart beating in a steady rhythm. With the thumping of Harry’s heart you begin drifting off into sleep. 

“Goodnight, lovie.” Harry whispers to you. But you were already out. Harry takes it as a clue that you have already called it a night when you didn’t respond back. He smiles to himself and continues running his hands over your back, feeling your body relax to his soft touch.

That night was the first night that you felt good, happy even. You felt relieved, this was one of the first nights that you slept through the whole night. You didn’t wake up to a nightmare clouding your unconscious mind. You had Harry next to you, hugging your body, feeling his warm breath hit the crevices of your neck, feeling his arms wrapped around you as if you were his only safe haven.

The next day…

“You want me to be there with you while you fill out the college application?” Harry asks you as he takes a sip of his tea. 

You hold the mug of freshly brewed coffee and smell the vanilla hazelnut creamer and instantly making you melt. 

“You would do that?”

“Of course. I want to be in every step of the college process, if you let me.”

“I would love that, Harry.” You smile as you set down your mug. 

“Okay, my love,” Harry kisses the top of your head and whispers "I love you” to you. “I’m going to get something for us to eat. I’ll be right back.” He takes his wallet and spare keys into one hand and leans towards you where you sit in the kitchen island. “Kissy?” 

Kissy. A cute little phrase that you would both ask each other to ask for permission for a kiss. A phrase that started since you two were dating for five months. A little phrase that was childish, but you both didn’t care. It was cute. 

You smile up at him. As you took another sip of your coffee, then another one. Teasing Harry as a pout started to appear on his face. He then started blinking his eyes furiously making you stop drinking from your mug. He got you there.

“Kissy.” You lean over to him and kiss him. You cup his cheek and run your freehand into his hair. He moaned into your touch making you smile in response. 

“I’ll be back, yeah?” 

“Okay. I love you Harry.” 

“I love you.” 

He walks out the door with his spare keys being the only thing you hear as he makes his way down the corridor. Leaving you alone with your mug of coffee half-way filled in front of you. You walk to the living room and grab the laptop that was on top of the coffee table and bring it back to the kitchen island. You set it there and wait. You stare at the black screen of the laptop as your reflection looks back at you. You continue taking small sips of your coffee and wait until Harry comes back. 

////////

“Hey, darlin’ I got your favorite snacks and lunch from that Vietnamese restaurant you like.” Harry enters into the small apartment and takes you by surprise. You were reading a book that you always put off. He walked towards you and set the bags of food on the kitchen island in front of you. 

“Are you ready, lovie?” 

As time passed you completed the university application and stopped yourself to double check on every detail that you added on the application. You felt nervous, anxious about completing the whole college application process, but you knew that it was going to be worth it in the end. You were glad that you had Harry with you filling the application, because you wouldn’t have had the courage to fill it out on your own. You were happy that you were accompanied and had his support. Harry didn’t ignore the anxiety and the way that you would play with your fingers while filling out the online application. This was a lot for you and he understood that you needed a well-deserved break. 

“Hey baby, take a small break,” Harry grabs the laptop and closes it, but making sure that he saved the application before doing so. “Here, get some foodsies.” Harry passes you the large bowl filled with your favorite pho. 

You take a mouthful of the delicious seasoned soup and sigh as you feel the warmth of the soup comforting your body, leaving you in a relaxed state. “Thank you my love,” you take a napkin and wipe the corners of your mouth. “I missed pho so much.” 

Harry smiles in response as he takes a bite of his own pho. He sits closer to you as his knees touch yours. He gave you frequent glances as a way to know that you were eating well and keeping note of your reactions. You were comfortable which made him happy. 

The night went along well. You finished applying for the university and only waited to get a response back. A couple of weeks it would take before you would get a response. So you continued going to the bookstore and you were starting to share more things with Harry, something that you didn’t do before. You shared more about your past, your family. He knew about your parents and other closer family members, but you never went into depth with other important people that you grew up with back home. You were happy to share more of your life with Harry. 

You both spent more time with each other more often. If you called Harry that you were feeling down, Harry would drop what he was doing and quickly get to your apartment as fast as he could. If you were on your period and Harry knew about it he would stay the whole week to make sure that you were taking care of yourself and to obviously spoil you. Just because flowers were his favorite habit of showing you that he loved you and would randomly gift you little crochet stuffies from a local independent shop. He eventually got you so many that you were running out of spaces where to put them, but you loved every little crochet plushie, they were just so cute! 

The more time that you spent with Harry you hadn’t picked up a cigarette. After Harry found out that you were smoking to relieve what you were feeling he didn’t judge or tell you that you had to stop smoking. Instead, he didn’t mention it, but acknowledged that it was something that you picked up when you were feeling depressed. So, you were grateful that he was there with you along the way of you figuring out how to slowly stop smoking. 

Weeks later…

And so you waited two weeks. In those two weeks a lot happened. Harry was getting his stuff ready to officially move in with you. Nothing much happened, just helping Harry move in his boxes and get him situated in your now shared apartment. He was excited to start living with you and as he said it “Happy to wake up next to my lovie every mornin’.” You were ecstatic to live with Harry, and, well, he already was living in your apartment when he would stay some nights, but this was going to be different. You were going to wake up next to him every morning and being grumpy on Saturday mornings because Harry would wake you to go on morning runs. On a Saturday out of all days! But you were getting too used to him living in your shared space.

Later that week you received an acceptance letter from the university that you applied at. When Harry came to the apartment from work that same day you told him out of excitement. He hugged you tight and gave you so many kisses that overwhelmed you, but you didn’t care you were too happy. The following week you spent a whole week getting school supplies. Harry came along of course picking out the most random things that he swore that you would use in college. Who needs three white boards and two big packs of big sticky notes? You were content in getting one white board and one big sticky note pack just to make Harry feel better. 

“But you’re gonna need two of ‘em, lovie.” 

You chuckle at his antics, “Why two Harry? I just need one.” 

Harry stares down at the plastic covered white board in his hands. “Cause ya gonna need to jot down our date nights. You can’t fit everythin’ on one white board.” He reminds you.

“Bubba, one is enough.” 

You take the white board and pack of stickies with you along with some other supplies. Harry followed behind as he kept putting in colorful markers and journaling stickers in the cart. He definitely made that shopping trip amusing. And you loved every moment of it. 

Four years later…

You sat at every class lecture and followed along what the professors talked about. You were present, you were dedicated and it paid off. There were times where you had breakdowns because of the workload that law school brought to you and it was a lot to handle. The anxiety that was kept at bay was slowly creeping onto you during those troubling school semesters that were always heavy with coursework, but you always had Harry there to guide you through breathing techniques. It was a lot, but you were happy that you were pushing through those semesters for you, for your future and Harry’s. You were proud all those days that you showed up to class prepared to learn the material and to later take the bar exams.

Those four years really did pay off. Cap and gown on and a smile on your face as you waited for your name to be called on the intercom. You walked onto stage as you had the urge to cry, but you stopped yourself because you knew that this was your moment. You were ecstatic that you finally met your goal. Going to school and having Harry and your close family members with you during this long journey. Happy that you were no longer alone… well, you were never alone, but you finally knew what it felt to let people in, let people care about you and let them hear your struggles. You were no longer suffering in silence. You were now walking down the stage with a diploma in your hand, holding onto your biggest achievement and you were excited to see what the future held for you. You knew that whatever life would bring you, you would no longer fight it alone, because you had people and you were no longer going to struggle in silence.

[bau-thoughts]

Helping Spencer Reid recover from top surgery

I’m fully prepared for this to not do as well but Spencer is 100% trans in my head and he deserves to be pampered like this.

Spencer Reid has wanted top surgery since he was 15 years old.

At age 23 he is given an appointment date for his top surgery and at age 24 he is being driven to the hospital by you for his surgery date.

“Are you feeling okay Spence?” you ask, seeing him bouncing his leg in the passenger seat.

“Remind me Spence, how long will the surgery take? I know it was mentioned during the consultations but I can’t remember.”

“It shouldn’t take more than 4 hours. Do you have enough stuff to keep you busy while you wait?” He asks, trying to keep his mind off the surgery. He had been waiting nearly a decade for this and he didn’t quite know how to feel about it.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. I’ve got a couple of books in my bag to keep me entertained.”

The two of you park outside the hospital and you walk with him to his doctor’s office, you take his hand on the walk there and you try and figure out if you did that to comfort him or to comfort yourself.

As you watch him get wheeled down the hallway, a tear of happiness rolls down your cheek. You know how much he’s been waiting for this day and you’re so excited for him.

When he gets pushed around the corner before the operating room you turn around and go back to your car. In the boot of your car is everything you could think of that Spencer might need during his recovery. Spencer already researched everything he might need immediately post-op and systematically packed a bag based on the likelihood of him needing an item.

You start driving back to your apartment trying to make the most of the two hours you’ve given yourself to prepare your apartment. As you open the front door to your shared apartment, you struggle trying to get the box inside while propping the door open.

You start by preparing your shared bedroom. In the box you’ve collected pillows in a variety of firmnesses, which you arrange like the photos you were able to find online, multiple fuzzy blankets and a new weighted blanket to put over Spencers legs, and new soft button-up shirts. You had found Doctor Who and Star Trek cartoon characters printed across the shirts at you and Spencer’s favourite local thrift store when you were trying to find him a new cardigan.

You pulled out the picnic basket from your one year anniversary date Spencer took you on and filled it with his favourite snacks and drinks. On top of the pile, you gently place a cheesy mug you found for him with “Get it off your chest” written across the side for his sugar with a side of coffee. (There’s a picture at the bottom)

You climb onto the bed and hang small fairy lights above the bed to help with overstimulation from the ceiling light. You also place a new dim lamp next to the bed that’s bright enough for Spencer to read.

You hear a faint buzzing from the kitchen and realise your alarm is going off to remind you to go back to the hospital to pick up Spencer.

You rush down to your car and get back to the hospital as quickly as you can. You run inside and find Spencer’s room where he’s asleep with bandages wrapped around his chest. He slowly wakes up from the anaesthesia as you sit by his bed with a book open in your lap.

“I want to hold your hand when I look down for the first time.” You take his hand and squeeze it tightly.

“Look down whenever you feel ready.”

[ladylooch]

Can you do a blurb with woody where the reader is a bookworm and they go to a bookstore together and he buys her coffee and whatever book she wants? Or something along those lines lol

okay this is so cute. My lil heart fluttering in my chest right now. Hope you love it!

Miles is a simple man, really. 

Just give him hockey, beer, and his family. That’s all he needs in life.

You are similarly simple, but exchange hockey and beer with books and coffee, and you’re happy as a clam. 

The Devils have been on a long road trip. Too long in his mind. You have been so patient and understanding, even after he missed your birthday a few weeks ago. He wants to make it up to you. So, he let you sleep in late this morning. You woke up to a spread of pancakes, eggs, and bacon along with some fresh squeezed orange juice, then he told you to get ready for a surprise. 

“Baby!!!!” You screamed when he pulled up to your favorite local bookstore. You skip next to him, hands swinging between you as you head towards the store. When you walk in, you inhale deeply. It smells like comfort. The scent of books always puts you at ease and you needed it now. You’ve been anxious with Miles being gone so much the last month.

“Anything you want is yours.” He encourages you to let go of him so you can explore. “I’ll grab some coffee and find you.” He kisses you deeply then walks towards the small cafe.

You rush off into the direction of the fiction section, taking off your jacket to browse comfortably. Miles returns with your coffee, holding it and giving you little sips as you work your way through the aisles. You end up with five books total. You could have grabbed at least 10, but decided to be realistic about how quickly you’re going to get through these.

“That’s it?” He questions in disbelief. “I bring you to your favorite place and you’re only getting five?” You purse your lips then grab the one you just put back. He laughs. “Okay, more believable.” 

Miles grabs the stack from you and heads to the check out counter.

“Thank you, babe.” You murmur into his bicep as he grabs the bag and you begin to walk towards the door.

“You’re welcome. Thank you for being so great about the last month. I know it’s hard for me to be gone that much.” 

“Yeah… But it makes it so great when you come home to me.” You admit, standing on your tip toes to kiss him. “Ready?” 

“Actually, I was thinking we could stay here for awhile. You can read amongst your people.” You chuckle. 

“My people?”

“They’re not mine…” He admits honestly with a hearty laugh. 

“Well, I’m here.”

“Besides you.” He gestures for you to walk forward.

The center of the store has a reading set up with big comfy couches and chairs. No one is utilizing it. You find a velvet green chair, dropping into it and putting your coffee on the table next to you. Miles sits in the other chair next to you, kicking his big feet up onto the coffee table. You glance around, realizing this might be a little boring for him to sit here while you read.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Sit here and watch you do your favorite thing.” 

“You can leave.” You assure him, patting his thigh. “Come back and get me later…”

“Nah.” He laces your fingers together, sliding down further in his big chair that actually makes him look small. His head rests on the back of it and he closes his eyes. “There’s no where I would rather be.” 

[bambiiflowers]

Chapter 3. Just Joe

I’m driving back to the bookstore now, your bouquet sitting on the passenger seat. Twenty-five dollars? I’d have paid a thousand if it meant staying in your world for just a minute longer. But no, this is better. The slow burn. The long game. The big efforts. The kind of effort those Tinder-swiping, craft-beer-drinking, fuckboys you wasted your youth on wouldn’t even begin to comprehend. I bet their idea of romance is venmoing you $10 for an Uber and expecting a blowjob in return. Pathetic. They’re the type to tip 10% and think they’re philanthropist. And porn? Of course, they’re slaves to it. Too dumb. Too lazy, to appreciate you. They don't get it. They don't get you.

Love stories aren’t built on fleeting touches and throwaway flowers, no. Real love takes strategy. Planning. Patience. And that’s why I’m making it easy for you. You need to come to me, on your terms. It has to feel organic. Fate-like. The kind of story you’d tell our grandchildren one day romanticizing the shit out of it. “We met by chance,” you’ll say. “It was meant to be.” And I’ll smile, because you won’t know how much work I put into it, how much time I dedicated to you to make it happen.

Lucky for both of us, I already own the perfect spot. My bookstore. Quaint, charming, reeking of old paper and nostalgia. The kind of place that'll make you fell like you're living in a Nora Ephron film. You’d love it. You’d melt into it. It’s perfect, and it’s waiting for you.

I park the car and carry your bouquet inside, placing it on the checkout counter like it’s a trophy. Little do they know it is, at least for me. I’ll recommend your shop to a customer or two, and when they go to your store and tell you, “The guy from that bookstore a few blocks away suggested this place,” you’ll smile. God, that fucking smile. and I’ll have made my way into your head. You’ll think of me. Maybe even wonder about me. Just enough to give me a chance.

I grab my laptop, pull up Canva, and immediately regret it. The templates. The endless, soul-sucking templates. A parade of forced whimsy and pretentiousness. “Handwritten font” The fuck.? All this overer-saturated colors making my head hurt already. It’s like the visual equivalent of a Hallmark card, nauseating. And yet, here I am, scrolling through this dumpster of mediocrity for you.

Why the fuck do I need to pay for a PNG of a book? A book! The irony. Whatever. Fuck it, I'll get the premium version. Fuck Canva, fuck capitalism, fuck everything. I’ll do it for you. Because you’re worth it.

“Poetry Night,” I type. “An intimate evening celebrating the power of words.” Kill me. I hate myself for pandering. For making my bookstore into a stage for your predictable, romanticized fantasies. But you’ll come. You're the type of girl who'll see "Oh, a poetry event at a cozy bookstore, why not?" You’re the type of girl who clings to words like lifeboats, who cries over Neruda and pretends Plath’s despair is profound rather than pathetic. You’re naive. Painfully naive. But for once, your early 2000s romcom delusions work in my favor.

I print the flyer and pin it to the bulletin board by the door, right where you’ll see it if you step inside. I’ll make more copies later, maybe even drop one off at your shop. Casual, of course. Just one local business supporting another. Nothing weird about that. Just me, a perfectly normal guy, inviting you into my world. This is how love stories are made. Not your cliched predictable movies.

The flyer feels warm in my hands, fresh from the printer. It’s simple. Understated. Just enough intrigue to draw you in without giving too much away. I stare at it, thinking of you holding it, reading it, maybe tucking it into your bag next to that little notebook you probably carry everywhere. You’d write about this, wouldn’t you? About how the universe works in mysterious ways, about how it led you to this event, to me.

I place the typical “Be right back” sign on the door of the bookstore and walk into your flower shop, flyer in hand. Subtle. Normal.

You’re behind the counter when I arrive, arranging lilies in a vase. Your hair’s pulled back, strands escaping in a way that’s so fucking artless it feels staged. Of course, it’s not. That’s why it works. That’s why you work.

I clear my throat, and you look up, surprised. That smile again. Jesus Christ. It’s a weapon. “Hey,” I say, holding up the flyer. “Just dropping this off. It's for little poetry night I bought the flowers for. "Thought you might want to drop by"

Your eyes scan the flyer, and for a second, I think I’ve overdone it. Maybe poetry wasn’t the move. Maybe you’re more of a gallery-opening, acoustic-music kind of girl. But then your lips curve, and you nod. “That’s really cool,” you say. “I’ll try to stop by.”

Try?. Try. The most noncommittal word in the English language. But I let it slide. I can’t push too hard, can’t let you see how much I need you to be there. “No pressure,” I say. “Just thought you might enjoy it.”

I hang around just long enough to feel your eyes on me as I leave. I don’t look back. I don’t need to.

The night of the event, the bookstore smells like old books and desperation. Chairs are arranged in a semi-circle, fairy lights strung up in a way that looks effortless but took me two fucking hours and several curses to achieve. A curated stack of poetry books waits on a side table, begging for your attention. The crowd trickles in, regulars, strangers, and a guy in a scarf who’s definitely going to mansplain Rumi before the night’s over.

But not you. Not yet.

I keep glancing at the door, at my watch, at the door again. The clock ticks past seven. Seven fifteen. Seven twenty. You’re late. And for a brief, panicked moment, I wonder if I miscalculated. If I pushed too hard, too fast. This is what happens when you rely on people. They let you down.

But then the bell above the door jingles, and there you are. You’re here. Breathless, flushed, wrapped in a cardigan that practically begs me to pull it off you. You scan the room, and when your eyes land on me, you smile like it was fate. Like you were always meant to be here.

“Sorry I’m late,” you say, slipping out of your knitted cardigan. “I had a thing at the shop, but I didn’t want to miss this.”

“Glad you made it,” I reply, calm, composed, while my heart is hammering in my chest.

You find a seat in the middle of the room, just close enough for me to watch you without being obvious. I take my place behind the mic, opening the night with a short, cringy introduction. The crowd laughs politely, but I don’t care. I’m not doing this for them.

As the first reader steps up, I steal glances at you. You lean forward slightly, fingers grazing the strap of your bag like you’re auditioning for an indie film. And I buy the performance, because I have to. I can almost hear the gears turning in your head as you soak it all in. The words, the atmosphere, the inevitability of us. I catch your eye and nod, just enough to acknowledge you without giving myself away. You smile, small and polite. I could fuck you right here, on this stack of poetry books, and it would be art.

I barely hear the poems being read. Some pretentious crap about red laddles and absent fathers. Nothing new. None of it matters. The real art tonight is you, sitting there, your legs crossed, your head tilted. You’re the poem. You’re the only thing worth reading.

When it’s over, I linger near the door, pretending to clean up. You approach, just as I knew you would.

“That was beautiful,” you say, your voice soft. “Thank you for inviting me. By the way I'm Cassandra, but you can call me Cass, or Cassie, whatever you prefer. Although maybe you already knew it because of the 10% off thing you offer last time where i signed up" you smile shyly and shake my hand and your touch is just how I expected it to be.

Cassandra. As if I didn’t already know. As if I didn’t moan your name last night. “We’ll be doing more of these. Maybe next time, you’ll share something.” I shake your hand back and smile at you. “I’m Joe,” I reply. “Just Joe.”

You laugh, a soft, nervous sound. “Well, Joe. Maybe I’ll come to the next one.”

Your laugh lingers in the air, light and airy, but I can hear the layers beneath it. The hesitation. The curiosity. The way your lips curl into that little smirk like you're holding something back. Maybe. Noncommittal, again. But this time, it’s not a brush-off. It’s a hook. You’re testing me, seeing if I’ll take the bait, and oh, Cassandra, Cass, Cassie. Whatever the fuck name you want to give me to fall asleep to at night, I’ll take it.

I watch through the window as you walk down the street, your cardigan slipping off one shoulder in that way that looks accidental but never is. Your fingers graze the strap of your bag, and I know, without question, that the flyer is inside. Tucked safely between your notebook and whatever novel you’re pretending to read this week. You’ll look at it again later tonight, won’t you? In the soft glow of your bedside lamp, you’ll think of this evening. Of me. Of the way I said your name like it was new to me, like I hadn’t whispered it to the rhythm of my heartbeat a hundred times already.

I lock up the store and head upstairs to my apartment. It’s quiet, too quiet, but I don’t mind. It gives me time to think. To plan. To analyze every word you said, every movement you made. The way your hand lingered just a second too long when we shook hands. The way you laughed, not because you were nervous but because you liked the way my name sounded in your mouth. And I can't wait to make you climax and you say it under your breathless voice.

Joe. Just Joe.

I sit down at my desk, the glow of my laptop illuminating the dark room. Your Instagram page is open in one tab, your flower shop’s website in another. I scroll through photos of you—smiling with customers, posing with bouquets, standing in front of that goddamn neon sign that reads “Bloom where you’re planted.” It’s all so… precious. Too perfect. But I see through it. I see you. The real you. The one who bites her nails when she’s nervous, who hesitates before hitting “post,” who reads poetry to feel something deeper than the surface-level bullshit the rest of the world seems content with.

Someday, you’ll thank me for this. For all of it. For the plans, the patience, the endless hours spent studying every detail of you. You’ll see it for what it is: love. Pure. Uncompromising. Undeniable. And when you do, you��ll say my name, not like you did tonight, casually, carelessly. No. You’ll say it with love, with need, with all the gratitude of someone who’s been waiting her whole life for this.

I lean back in my chair, staring at the screen. The glow reflects off the glass of the vase holding the bouquet I bought from you. Your bouquet. The flowers are starting to wilt, their petals curling at the edges. Beautiful, even in decay. I’ll keep them until they rot, until they crumble into nothing, because they’re yours.

Nothing lasts forever. But us? We're different, we will.

[dkehoe]

The first time Lucy met Felix, she was grabbing a bite to eat alone while waiting for her friend to arrive on their island vacation. She spent an amazing night with Felix and the next morning put the pieces together that he was her friends brother, Wolf. Each year when she escapes to the island, she vows to stay away from Felix and every year ends up in his bed. Despite their intense connection, Lucy always kept her heart out of it until the week before her best friends wedding, when Bridget asks her to come out to the island. Carley Fortune writes wonderfully emotional beach-centric novels. Or lake-centric, but the local always involves sand, water, and great seafood. Those things certainly set that laissez faire mood which I think is required for a great beach read. This Summer Will Be Different felt, well, different, more intense and kind of frustrating. Lucy, our heroine, is dealing with the trauma of losing her aunt and trying to make a go of the flower store her aunt left her. She is also harboring the secret of a years-long vacation relationship with her best friends brother. Felix, or Wolf, is on the island going about his life but you just know that he’s living for those moments with Lucy that are few and far between. This novel had boat-loads of conflict to work through and despite my impatience to get to that final conclusion, it was done really well and my turbulent feelings were worth the experience. But it was exhausting, truly. I needed a vacation after reading my vacation book! Every year I look forward to Carley Fortune’s newest book release and this year is no different. There were so many great moments in this book (the chemistry! the great best friend relationship!) but there was something holding me back from an all in five star rating. I liked it a lot, but I’ve liked other books by this author more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I received a copy of this book through NetGalley for an honest review and it was honest! Click this link to purchase this book!* This Summer Will Be Different Copyright 2024 The Reading Chick All Rights Reserved *Amazon Associate- if you purchase this book through the above link I’ll receive a small stipend.

[nancypullen]

Thursday

Hey there! Remember me?  I disappeared for a few days, but here we are again - get comfy, we’ll chat. Yesterday we climbed out of our rut (honestly, it’s a lovely rut) and pointed the car toward the mighty Atlantic Ocean.  We decided to see what all the fuss is about Rehobeth Beach, and also to find a particular bookstore where David Sedaris will be signing on May 30th (we have tickets and I’m excited!).  Rehobeth Beach is 48 miles from Denton, and it was a beautiful day for a drive - so off we went. I get it now.  Wide beaches of clean sand, clear water, and a boardwalk that rivals any I’ve ever seen. Restaurants, arcades, and the shops, oh my, the shops!  Did I take photos? Not many.  I’ll have to raid whatever the mister snapped.  I was too busy poking around in alleys like this.

Hundreds and hundreds of unique shops, really diverse dining options, and everything from scooter rentals to paddleboards.  I knew exactly where we’d be having lunch when I saw this spot.

Go Fish, a true British fish & chips place.  Mickey is a sucker for fish & chips.  Me, not so much, but I figured there’d be something else on the menu.  It was charming inside and The Beatles were playing on the sound system. All good signs.

We sat in a booth and thoroughly enjoyed our lunch.  Mickey raved about the fish & chips and I had a hearty plate of bangers and mash.  It made me glad I’d skipped breakfast.  

After lunch we strolled down the main drag and found the bookstore, BrowseAbout Books.  What a delightful store!  Super friendly staff, eager with recommendations, an amazing inventory (even a wonderful children’s section), home decor, cards, tees, etc.  I love a good independent bookstore.

They truly offer something for everyone. So we checked that off our list and we’ll be back there on May 30th.

The ticket includes a cop of the book, which I already have, so I’ll just have him sign my copy for Matt.  Matt and I went to see David Sedaris in Nashville many years ago and had a ball.  We gave him a rubber hand to sign.  It made him laugh. If you know, you know.  If you don’t, read this. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2003/03/10/whos-the-chef Anywayyyy, after exiting BrowseAbout Books we walked around, visited a few more shops, got a sweet treat (ice cream cone for Mickey, caramel popcorn for me) and headed home.  The road west is lined with shopping opportunities and I asked the mister to pull into Home Goods.  It’s my church and I’ve been missing services.  I needed to fill my soul.  And I did.  It didn’t take much.  I bought three small things.

A small picture frame to hold a sweet photo of Little Miss. 

This adorable little bird who will keep me company in my spot on the porch.

There she is by the flowers, looking ready to burst into song.

And finally, these pretty bells to sway in the breeze - also for my spot.

A whole bag of happy for just $30.  Did I need to spend it? No. DO these things make me smile and lift my heart? Absolutely yes. Some women drink wine, some spend a fortune on hair and nails, I buy birds and shiny things. 

Speaking of birds, they love the new fence.  I swear, our feathered visitors have increased since we put the fence up.  The local cats can’t hide as well, so maybe they feel safer.  Any way you slice it, I have more bird song and a prettier yard. Winning!

I took three of the containers that I normally use on porch railings and put them on the fence. I love it.

Feeders, a bath, and blooms.  It’s birdie paradise.  I’ll probably add some pink or red flowers to those containers, but I like them just fine so far. Stanley still stops by for a drink. I think he loves cool water with just a hint of bird butt.

Time to weedeat. So there ya’ have it, a little bit of happy from our patch to yours.  I’m going to make a little lunch and go sit in my spot on the porch.  It’s a good day for doing nothing. Sending out love. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO - Nancy

[kippuchan]

This is a really nice list. It’s cool to see how many things I already do, and what things I could really stand to do. I guess the upshot is, there are so many little things that we can all do. And it’s all useful.

I’d say I’ve sworn off fast fashion for a while (10+ years) now. If i do get an item of fast fashion (usually it’s a gift) but I’ll be repairing it and wearing it for years. My goal for this year was to buy no new clothes (aside from underwear)- and I did cave and get a new shirt in early Jan- but I thrift a lot and I sew and I donate and textile recycle once clothes get to that point.

My mum cuts my hair (I’ve never been to a salon). She cuts all our hair (even my dad, after covid). I do my own nails when I want to. Hair gets put in the garden for local birds to take for their nests.

I have a little garden, with a lemon tree and herbs and some eggplant and capsicum plants. My parents have fruit trees, and chickens. I have a little vermicompost- my parents have like 3 different compost heaps. My mum plants a veggie garden each year. I buy local milk when I can. I get my bread from a local bakery. I could stand to shop more at local butchers, and go to fresh food markets, but it’s in the back of my mind. I try not to buy food out of season.

I have recycling streams for different items. Batteries, e waste, medication blister packs. This has been normal for me for the last 10+ years. They all get collected and then taken to their respective collection points. Lots of supermarkets have battery recycling now, the stationary store has batteries, printer stuff, pens, ewaste and so many. The pharmacy takes blister packs.

I volunteer with a student department, and I have done so for several years now. I visit my local library and borrow things about every few weeks. I lend my own books to friends. I hold the elevator doors open for people. I give directions when asked (and I must give off “knows stuff +approachable” vibes because I get asked a lot!). I try to be helpful.

I shop local for gifts, generally. I go to handcraft markets and I get local dyed yarn and I get alpaca yarn from the farm 30min out of town, and I buy from local yarn and fabric shops, and teamakers, rather than big box most of the time.

I mix up my transit when I can (as a physically disabled person, sometime car is just the only option for me). But I enjoy taking the bus or the tram when I can, and I always use PT over taxis or Ubers. My car is a little second hand study in petrol efficiency, and I love her. When she dies, it’ll be hybrid or electric for me I think. Where I live, 97% of our power is renewable, from solar and from wind farms. This isn’t the norm in my country, but it makes me really proud!

I’m trying to engage more with local music and theatre and stuff. That’s another 2025 goal!

I need to be better about online stuff. I do have one music and one tv streaming service, and I still use chrome (I know :////). It’s on my list of things to do.

I grew up with a lot of these things normalised (hair cuts at home, donating clothes, recycling the heck out of everything, reduce reuse recycle, compost and garden, repair and sew) that sometime I forget that this isn’t the norm. It can seem overwhelming, but pick one things at a time to try and incorporate, and I’m sure a lot will feel like your normal in no time. And every little bit helps.

25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025

Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality

Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway

Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups

Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay

Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward

Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient

Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative

Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!

Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community

DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!

Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?

Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.

Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability

Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough

Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing

Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work

Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market

Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question

Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them

Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area

Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...

Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable

Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact

Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive

Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people

[suckitsurveys]

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? I don’t usually, but I am not opposed to it. I was actually thinking of making pesto grilled cheese soon.

Do you suffer from headaches caused by caffeine-withdrawal? I don’t.

When consuming a beverage that comes in a can, do you prefer to drink it directly from the can or do you pour it into a cup? Depends on how cold said can is.

Are there times when you think your reflection looks amazing, but you take a picture & it looks like crap? Yup.

What do you do to cure a headache? Take something. If it’s a full on migraine I’ll need to lay down and drink water and probably put something cold on my head until I inevitably throw up. I have to catch them early or they don’t go away.

Have you ever used picnik.com? I’m not sure.

Do you still possess any belongings from your childhood? Do they hold some special significance? Oh yes, I have a handful of trinkets and things from my childhood.

Would you rather sit in a recliner or a rocking chair? Recliner.

Do you have any cards from restaurants that you get stamped every time you visit, & after a certain number of purchases you get a free meal / drink? I have a stamp card for this local bubble tea place.

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Blah.

Do you take advantage of calendars being on sale during the end of January, or do you just buy them for their regular price when they first come out? I didn’t realize that was a thing lol.

If you have a Facebook, do you ever set yourself to offline mode just to avoid one particular person? No.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Sure.

Have you ever absent-mindedly [or even intentionally] pulled apart the aglets [plastic at the end] on your shoelaces / hoodie & ruined the lace? I probably did as a kid.

Out of all of your friends / relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? I don’t know.

When you are out of your house, where do you usually store your cell phone? Usually in a pocket or if I have a purse then in there.

Do you ever use natural lighting to light your house [aka open the blinds] rather than use a lamp? We have like zero natural light in our apartment because we are in the basement.

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I have the phone divets starting in my pinkies oops.

When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If I am in public.

If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? Ugh my garden did SO bad this year. I planted it too late in the year.

What is a hobby / activity that you find relaxing? Is this something you often get the chance to do? This, bonfires, swimming, playing geoguessr.

Are there any eyeshadow shades that simply do not look good on you? I don’t wear eyeshadow.

Do you think cable / satellite is worth paying for when things like Netflix & Hulu exist? No..

If you were in a room with no escape for twenty minutes, which of the following smells would you more easily be able to tolerate [& you’re not allowed to cover your mouth / nose or anything!] - bleach, cigarette smoke, heavy perfume, skunk, vomit. Bleach. Or, it would depends on the scent of perfume.

Do you think greeting cards are a waste of money? No.

[diaryofalamb]

Jesus Christ, I expected my periods would be irregular for a bit after the surgery due to the weight loss and whatnot but my shit has been regulating with no problem. Before the surgery and before I got on birth control I was pretty regular, my period would come maybe like a day early or a day late depending on my stress but it would always show and stay for about four days. When I was on birth control, I stopped having the monthly bleeds and when I got off it (like January 2023) it took three months before I had my first bleed then I bled like two months after that. After surgery, it’s like I restarted my cycle. As in, soon as I got home from the hospital my period started, then a month and one week later my period again, and then exactly 28 days later it came again. I’m grateful for my health, I’m grateful for all the wonderful things my body can do for me, but DUDE. Seriously?! You couldn’t have waited maybe three months before making me worry about having menstruating stock everywhere I go?

With my time of the month now logged into the books where I can get prepared for it, I need to hold off on incorporating new foods into my diet during that week and a few days after because I can’t tell if I’ve been throwing up because of the food I’m eating or because my body is experiencing hormones and such. The emotional part is easy to tell why, but I had been waking up coughing and with the need to throw up (which I usually do minutes if not seconds after waking up) for the last three or four nights. I had this before soon after surgery, which I started taking medication for to ease the stomach acid building up and was working until now. If anyone is reading this and concerned, don’t be. If it continues past this week, I’ll head into my surgeons office and ask them to look into it but for today I will be having soup (nothing spicy or sour, just mild soup, what some might call dull) and possibly mashed potatoes or protein shakes to not irritate my stomach too much. I’ll also have my last meal at 7:30 at the latest and head to bed at 10 just so my stomach can properly digest it with enough time to do so.

I’ve been more active in my job, more passionate I believe so. There’s lots of things we’re planning for and events to do but so little of us. I’ve been able to keep myself somewhat active at work, with walking to the nearby store or restaurants to get lunch or for the hell of it. I’ve found myself at times making excuses to get up and walk around or to do something such as lifting or carrying. There are still times when I feel like I don’t want to get up to do something, whether it’s getting up to grab a remote or change the laundry or what have you, but for different reasons than in the past. If there’s talk of going somewhere that’s relatively close by, such as a store down the street or a 6 minute walk, I feel a preference to walk it rather than drive it. I don’t know, does that make sense?

I’ve gotten closer to A’s family I feel like. I partook in an event with them, a local outing and dinner afterwards, and I’ve been spending more time with my dads family, I’m actually going out of the country for a few days to visit my aunt and cousins on his side and I’m super excited. On my moms side, I don’t feel like my relationship has changed much. I love that side of my family, they’re wonderful and kind people, but I kind of always felt like they were ashamed of me. I thought that if I lost weight because of this surgery they would treat me differently, nothing major just slight differences but I’m not sure. I do want to plan a trip to see my moms side in person, I miss my baby cousins and my grandparents and my aunts, but I’m not too sure when I’d be able to go.

Anyways, I meant to give an update earlier and there are a few things I forgot to put into this that I meant to write about but I can just do another post. Probably a shorter update mainly about the eating and exercise and whatnot. I don’t know, we’ll see

[mostlynotwork]

Big things can come from small changes. That’s the key idea of ‘Atomic Habits’, a book that helps people turn minor changes in behaviour into enduring habits that enable them to experience a better version of themselves.

This year, as well as aiming to read at least a book a month, I’ve decided to add audiobooks into the mix. I’ll be doing more road trips now COVID is hopefully behind us, and that should give me plenty of listening time. Audiobooks won’t replace reading books, but something I’ll try to add on top. It’s a new habit I hope to form, inspired at least in part by this first audiobook ‘Atomic Habits’.

‘Atomic Habits’ sets out a system for creating change in your life

It’s not your goals that are holding you back, its the system you’re trying to use to get there. That’s one of the first ideas Clear seeks to instil in the reader. Change requires people to understand themselves and the change they want to make. But as this book explains, the reason many people fail to achieve their goals is the approach they’ve taken, rather than the ambition they have.

This is the deficiency ‘Atomic Habits’ seeks to correct. Clear argues that “habits are the compounding interest of self improvement” and sets out a system through which one can build on small habits and turn them into a meaningful difference to your life. The key principles for forming a new habit are:

Make it obvious

Make it attractive

Make it easy

Make it satisfying

To break bad habits, Clear illustrates ways to invert these principles so that bad habits (ideally) become less obvious, less attractive, harder and less satisfying. So far I’ve had more success with building positive habits than kicking bad ones, though I have had some small wins with the latter.

What were some of the ideas that stuck for me?

Start small - small incremental change is the easiest place to start. And a small change repeated many times will produce better results than a ‘big’ change that you rarely follow through on.

Being aware of your habits - I haven’t yet audited my habits or started a habit tracker. I do however try and be more aware of some of repeated behaviours in my day and the conditions that may be giving rise to them.

Habit stacking - adding a new habit onto an existing one. This has worked well for me so far, helping me to add more stretching into my day by making a habit of doing just one or two stretches at key points during the day. There’s room for more, but it’s helped give me a start and over a week, the number of stretches adds up.

Make it easy and reduce friction - To work through my backlog of comic books, I’m making it easy for myself by leaving one on my bedside table. That way I can read for a few minutes each night while Mrs Menow gets ready for bed. Sure, I only get a dozen or so pages read a few nights a week. But small amounts add up. If I can keep this up through the year, you’ll see a few of them posted here. And that’s a few more than otherwise would have been read.

Reset the room - this is Clear’s habit forming case for putting things away when you’re finished with them. It’s always been good advice, but ‘Atomic Habits’ helps you understand why and how to get better at it.

Inverting ‘make it obvious’ - one of the strategies I’ve employed to break the habit of getting chocolate muffins and Coke on the way into my office. Rather than walk past the bakery and associated temptation, I walk a different route and buy a bottle of lemon-water from the convenience store instead.

Closing Thoughts

‘Atomic Habits’ is a book with a very practical focus. It provides enough theory and examples to understand why the four steps (generally) work, but doesn’t get bogged down in unnecessary detail. Instead the focus is on how you put it all into action. If you’re looking for a practical book to help you start on a journey of change, then download the audiobook or buy this book from your local book store. Or if you enjoyed it as much as I did, do both.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Last Minute Customer

Summary; Beau Arlen x Reader -> When you’re closing up the store for the evening, you have one final customer. 

Warning; Pure fluffy fluff, books, bookstore and snow. 

Snow had been constantly falling for the last 6 weeks. At first, it was light and melted almost as fast as it had come. But now it was 3ft high and sent everyone into a tizzy over being able to walk.

Why you hadn't moved out of Montana by now, you didn't know. You could have gone anywhere. California, maybe? New York? Perhaps Seattle.

But no. You had decided to stay in Montana, open up a small bookstore in Helena and stick with the snowy winters.

Yet, it was all worth it.

You had been stood behind the counter, having shut early due to the weather. You had been counting your stock making sure you had enough of the popular books in stock in time for the mad-christmas dash.

That was when a knock came to the door.

"Hello?"

Rushing over, you quickly unlocked the door and let the stranger inside. He was covered in snow, his fingertips were turning red and his cheeks were flushed.

"Are you okay? What are you doing out in weather like this?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He smiled. "Sorry if I scared you."

"It's okay. Are you here to buy some books?"

He nodded, dusting off the snow with your help. Only now did you notice his shape. He was broad and tall. 

"Actually, I am." He smiled. "Sorry, I should have introduced myself. Beau Arlen."

That's why he looked so familiar.

You had seen him around town every now and then, mostly making his way in and out of the coffee shop across the way, Dewell and Hoyt and some of the local stores.

"Y/N Y/L/N." you smiled back. "So, what exactly is it that you're looking for?"

"I don't know."

Your eyebrows knitted together for a moment before he pulled a piece of paper from the back of his jeans and handed it over to you.

"My daughter...she wrote me a list."

You took the list from his hands and opened it up. There was some good titles on it.

Emma, by Jane Austen.

A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens.

Sherlock Holmes, Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Dr Suess, Chronicles of Narnia.

"I think we have some of these in stock. I'll check in the back for the others."

"Thank you."

"I've still got the fire going if you want to warm yourself up." You offered, pointing over towards the two leather sofa's that sat paralle to one another beside the fire.

"Is it safe to have a fire in a bookstore?"

"The fireplace has been there since the place was first built. I only put it on in desperate conditions." You turned back with a small smile before disappearing into the back of the store to look for some of the less commonly stocked books.

Pretty much most of them you managed to find on the shelves, Beau helping.

"Whoa." You said aloud as the rolling stairs went a little further than anticipated.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to hold it still?"

You nodded. "If you don't mind."

You managed to reach the top of the bookshelves for the extra boxes, finally finding the last copy of A Christmas Carol.

"I'm usually banned from using this ladder." You told Beau. "Last time I was on it, I slipped from the fourth step and twisted my ankle."

Slowly, you climbed back down. Only, once you made it to the half way mark, you felt Beau's hands hold onto the back of your legs. They hovered just far enough from your skin to help you down but be close enough to catch you if you fell.

And it was a good job because just before you hit the bottom, your foot missed the step, sending you sliding down.

Thankfully, Beau took your waist into his hands and helped you safely to your feet.

"Thanks."

Beau smiled down, letting go of you once he knew you were okay. "You should probably get some safer ladders."

You smiled. "That's not the first time someone has told me that."

Beau gave you another smile and you found your words faltering in your mouth.

"Um," you stepped back and handed over the book. "Here you are. Is that everything? Not got another list in your back pocket, have you?"

Beau looked down with a soft chuckle. "No, not this time."

You rung up his order, asking if he'd like for them to be gift wrapped. "No, that's okay. Em's having me wrap them with her at home. She says I need the practice."

"It can't be that bad, surely."

Beau smiled and leaned onto the counter. "Whatever you're imagining, it's worse than that."

"Well, nothing can be worse than my parent's wrapping." You told him. "One year they just handed me a gift in a plastic bag with an upside down bow."

"What was it?"

"The gift? A vintage camera and record player." You smiled. "There up over there."

You pointed over towards the large wooden unit beside the fireplace.

"Did you take these photos?" Beau asked, looking to the postcards beside the register.

You smiled shyly. "I got bored one day and decided to go for a walk. There is a beautiful place by this canyon. There's a lake that runs just below it."

Beau studied the photo a little better. It seemed very familiar.

"Do you fish?"

"Sorry?"

You smiled, continuing to bag up the books. "I asked, do you fish? It's a good fishing spot if you ever wanted to try."

Beau clicked his fingers. "That's why I recognise it."

"Have you ever been on the hiking trail above it?" You asked.

"No, I- Uh...I haven't had the chance."

"Maybe, if you'd like, I could show you?"

Beau looked up and for a moment, he didn't know what you were asking. But the moment he did, he smiled, bowed his head to try and hide the texan blush on his cheeks, and nodded.

Finally he looked back up; "I'd like that."

"It might be a bit cold, but it's beautiful in the snow."

Beau smiled. "I'm sure it is."

"How about Saturday? If there's no big snow blizzard."

Beau nodded, paying his cash and picking up the bag of books from the counter. "Saturday it is."

Turning back around towards the door, Beau looked out to the snow.

"How long have you got left on your shift?"

You looked up to him, taping some boxes up. "Not long. Maybe about 10 minutes? Why?"

"Would you...would you like me to drive you home? With this snow and everything...I mean...what kind of Sheriff would I be if I let a citizen nearly die because of frost bite?"

You gave him a light smile and nodded. "That would be nice. Thank you."

Eventually, you closed the shop and followed him to his car. “So? How long have you been in Montana?”

“All my life,” you answered. “Mostly. I mean, I left to go to College but...I came back.”

“And the bookstore?”

You smiled as you explained the story to him on the way to your home. “It was something I always wanted to do. As a kid I had a vision board for my life - yes, I was that kid.” Beau smiled. “Anyway, I used to dream of owning my own bookstore and seeing kids like me find that place where they can go and just...be them. Pick up a book and...find another world. What about you? What made you want to be a Sheriff?”

“My dad,” Beau began. “We use to watch all these old westerns and he used to tell me all these cool stories of what he had done that day at work. About the people he helped.”

“He was your hero?”

Beau nodded and smiled. “Yeah.”

Finally, Beau pulled up outside of your home and you unbuckled your seat-belt. “I guess I’ll see you on Saturday?”

“I guess you will.” Beau smiled. 

He waited until you unlocked your door and walked inside before he pulled away. 

Maybe it was a good thing you stayed in Montana after all. 

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Gamer boy

Yandere!Shigaraki x reader 

NO MINORS

You caught the eye of an obsessive gamer. He's convinced you're perfect for him. So why are you ignoring him?

tw: yandere themes, stalking, kidnapping, noncon, alcohol use, degradation, flash photography

You worked at the local gaming cafe. It was a pretty chill job most of the time. The adults who came in didn't care to socialize or cause problems and the school kids would only try to run a muck for a short while until they got entrapped by whatever they were playing. You sat at the help desk, renting out games, consoles, and selling sugary drinks. Easy as pie. Like any cafe, you had regular customers.

Once a week a wild-haired-sloucher would slink up to your desk to rent out a computer mouse and then head to the same computer every time - number 001. After an hour or so he would come up to buy an energy drink.

Of course you didn't know that he came here because Kurogiri would force him out of his cave once a week.

Your first mistake was on his third visit. When he came in you had a computer mouse and his favorite energy drink sitting out for him. The drink was on the house, you smiled. To you, this was a friendly gesture to make sure your reliable customers would keep coming back. To him, this was an offering of your submission. The second sign you gave was asking him if he was going to attend the opening of a new gaming store. He wasn't, obviously, but you wanted him to go, didn't you?

He started keeping tabs on you. To make sure you were worthy, he told himself. He was impressed to find that you actually had a useful quirk. You had a group of friends that lived in your apartment complex. He found it a bit pathetic that you spent so much time with them. But it must be hard for you to not be with him. You must be so lonely when he wasn't around.

Then he began to sneak in to your room, whether you were there or not. Occasionally he would sort through your drawers while you were in the shower; or play whatever game he chose to keep on his phone that week while you slept. When you were away he would take a more thorough inventory. He went through the movies and games piled in your living room. Carefully skimmed through the books on your nightstand. Rummaged through your cabinets and fridge.

Shigaraki was at war with himself on what his next move should be. A piece of him - however small - wanted to go about things like a normal person. But that left too much room for rejection. He was biding his time, trying to develop some form of plan. Until you forced him into action. 

It happened during one of the nights he devoted to watching over you. Your friends had finally convinced you to go out with them. Allowing them to play dress up, they put you something too short and too tight for Shigaraki's comfort. They were going to drag you to a bar in that? You were practically begging for men to proposition you. Why did you even own something like that? You knew you belonged to him. Anyone aside from him shouldn't see that amount of your body. The anger was starting to creep over him, his skin becoming too tight until he was forced to seek relief by digging into his neck.

Things only went down hill from there. While you were having a great time, completely unaware of your stalker's presence, Shigaraki sulked angrily along the edge of the club you had been pulled into. You were drunk, although no where near as drunk as your companions and happily in the middle of the dance floor. As you faced your friend, a man wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you tightly against him by the hips. You didn't mind at first, until you realized the man was a complete stranger and not another person you knew. Your shrugged him off and the oaf moved on towards his next prey. It took everything Shigaraki had in him not to end the man's life, along with everyone else in the damn room. But he managed. And you kept dancing, drawing in guys like flies to honey. None of them caught your eye, of course not, even when intoxicated you knew who you belonged to. Obviously, you were using these NEETs to get under Shigaraki's skin. Taunting him for not keeping you in check.

One of the girls you came with had wandered off with some "handsome" stranger and you were the only one with enough wherewithal to go looking for her. You listened to podcasts, Don't let your friends go off alone ESPECIALLY when intoxicated, it was a true crime commandment.

With no luck in the club you ventured outside, breaking the commandment yourself. You weaved around the building, holding on to the wall to keep yourself from stumbling. In the back of the building you ran into a hooded figure. 

"Have you seen my friend?"

The figure, Shigaraki, tilted his head. He had two options, take you in this back alley and risk someone hearing you scream, or begin a game of cat and mouse. You just looked so dazed and fuckable.

"Your friends? I'm not sure but I saw two people head that way," He lied and pointed away from the club. "Do you need help looking for them."

You scrunched your nose, genuinely (and drunkenly) debating the idea. Finally you shook your head, "No thanks, stranger danger."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not a stranger," he smirked. Finally you realized who the person in front of you was.

With a gasp you giggled, "Gamer boy!"

"Shigaraki," he reminded you, shifting back and forth uncomfortably trying to ease the growing swell in his pants. Why did you have to be so cute?

"Hm, okay then but no funny business."

He smirked as he lead you away from your friends. After a few blocks you were ready to give up, you tend to be a tired drunk and just wanted to go home to your bed. Shigaraki was understanding, probably too understanding, and willing to walk you back to your place. You thanked him, ready to bid him farewell at your door, but he followed you in, convincing your drunk brain that you two should have a drink before he left. You curled yourself into your couch while you listened to your guest.

"Thanks for walking," you yawned, "with me. You're so nice."

Gently the villain lifted you off your feet, "Someone's tired. Let's get you in to bed."

You nodded. Unable to process the impending danger. Until you realized that he was joining you on your bed, starting to tug at your outfit. "Shigi, what are you doing."

"I'm giving you what you want," he said in between nips to your neck and shoulders. "You've been misbehaving all night. Dressing and acting like a slut. Practically offering your body to any undeserving male. If you want to be a whore, then you can be my whore."

A hand slid beneath cotton of your clothes.

He teased your slick flesh, "See how quickly your body reacts to me?"

Your head was spinning, not really processing what he was saying. But you felt good and you wanted to keep feeling good. His unruly hair tickled your nose. You giggled. He latched his lips around your breast, teasing your nipples. One with his tongue, the other with his thumb.

The heat between your legs was becoming unbearable.

"What are you going to do to me?"

He lift his eyes to look up at you, "Such a forgetful thing. I'm gonna pound into your little pussy until you forget that any one besides me exists."

You whined in confusion. Your memory fuzzy on what led up to this moment. Had you brought him home?

He carefully continued to tease your sensitive body. Biting at your thighs and pressing against your soaked panties.

...

"Tell me who you belong to

...

"I'm never letting you get out of bed. I gotta make sure I keep my desperate whore in her place."

...

...

"Are you begging for my cum? Such a greedy little bitch."

...

"Spread your legs, let me see how pretty you look when you're stuffed with my cum."  *flash* "so pretty. You wanna see how god I take care of you?"

...

"Make sure you keep behaving once we get you home. If you misbehave I'll have to hurt another one of your friends."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

What’s yours is mine 1

Warnings: nonconsent and rape, allusions to abuse, stalking, possessiveness, pregnancy, and more tags to be added.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: dark!Ransom Drysdale x pregnant!Reader

Summary: After five years, your past is far behind you but just as you think you can live your happily ever after, your ex shows up at the worst moment.

Note: I couldn’t sleep and ended up writing this and it will not be a long ongoing series but it will be a few parts. But Roo you say that all the time. Yes, well, I’m trying and I’m sorry but I’m gonna try to not be the worst.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

“Oh my god, is that really you?” the voice made you stand stalk straight.

You took a breath and forced a smile before you turned to the indomitable woman. You never expected to see Linda again, not after you broke up with her son almost five years ago. And there she was, as rigid and righteous as ever, her thin lips curved in a mocking grin.

“Linda,” you greeted her in a singsong and looked around the grocery store. You never went to the overpriced organic market but your local shop didn’t have dragonfruit and you had a painful craving, “how are you?”

“Darling, I’m just great,” she held an empty basket on her arm, an odd sight as you never expected her to do her own shopping, “oh, and look at you!” Before you knew it, her hand was on your stomach and you struggled not shy away, “how far are you?”

“Um,” you looked down at the large ring on her finger and resisted the urge to step away as you often did in this situation, “almost five months.”

“And married?” she grabbed your left hand and pretended to admire the small teardrop diamond, “gorgeous.”

“Mhmm,” you waited for you to release you and swayed in place, “you barely look a day older than the last time I saw you.”

“You’re well? You look well,” she primped her short hair at the compliment, “oh, a baby.” She reached out again and you sighed as she rubbed your stomach, “for luck.”

You tried not to frown and ended up laughing at the tension, “well, it was nice running into you.”

“Oh, you know, I barely come down here but we’re headed up to my father’s place, you remember, such a cozy house, and Joni is in charge of food and well, I wouldn’t trust her with a plastic spoon so of course, I have a back up plan.”

You nodded along with her awkwardly, frozen in the spot as the dragon fruit barely seemed worth the torture. Linda was hard to please and alway derisive, but for as long as you were with Ransom, she had taken a keen shine to you. That alone came with an edge but it was rarely used to cut you.

You forced another laugh, “that sounds fun, getting away from the city.”

“Ugh, just another family gathering,” she waved it off with her free hand, “I’ll have to tell Ransom I ran into you, if he even shows up.”

“Well, I don’t think--”

“He’s grown up so much,” she interrupted, “you wouldn’t believe it. He got his own imprint in my father’s company publishing true crime. He’s really making a place for himself now.”

“That’s great,” you tried not to falter at the mention of her son. You hadn’t ended on the greatest terms and your relationship had been tumultuous and regrettable.

“I hope you have a great weekend, Linda,” you said, “but I got to--”

“Oh, not at all, I’m keeping you,” she squeezed your arm, “God, he was such an idiot to let you go.”

You nodded and swallowed through your tight throat, “I’m glad he’s doing better for himself.”

“You too,” she trilled, “oh, before I let you go, darling, is it a boy?”

You blinked and your smile wavered, “how did you know?”

“I could always tell,” she said, “so precious.”

She gave your stomach one last pat and disappeared into the produce section. You blinked as you looked down at the scaled fruit in your right hand. Chocolate, you needed chocolate.

You were rattled as you waited in the express line and put your things on the belt. You hadn’t thought of Ransom in a very long time. Not much. His shadow followed you around in those moments when your heart raced and your head spun, but you had learned to work through those fits. No one else knew what happened behind closed doors, they only knew Ransom, not Hugh.

You paid and shoved your fruit and candy into a paper bag. You headed out into the misty spring air. The rain had finally stopped and left the streets slick and shining. The sun was hazy as it clung to the last of the clouds and you inhaled the wet scent of grass and gravel.

You let your key hang from the ignition as you took a moment to gather yourself. You stared at the modest ring on your finger and held your stomach and you swore you could still feel Linda’s bony hand there. 

You had a loving husband, Dez, and a son on the way. Ransom wasn’t a part of any of that and this was just a blip on radar, the aftershock of the storm that ended years before. You sniffed and turned the engine. You wouldn’t go back to that store, it was far too expensive and the clientele were certainly not of your ilk.

🍼

Dez was in the kitchen when you got home, the smell of steak and peppers rose from the frying pan. You kissed his cheek as he kept one hand on the spatula and you dropped your bag on the counter beside the stove. You went to the fridge and poured yourself a glass of water. You turned and leaned against the marble and drank deeply.

“So, hon, how was your day?” he asked as he put the spatula down and peeked in the bag, “hmm, odd pairing but I don’t hate it.”

“I had a craving,” you shrugged, “it was… okay,” you heaved, “what’s for dinner?”

“Steak fajitas,” he said, “I trimmed the fat for you and,” he turned and reached out to you, “and I got you some champagne… non-alcoholic, obviously.”

“You know it doesn’t have the same effects,” you kidded as you put your glass down and settled into his arms, “and well,” you looked down at your stomach, “we already got one drunken night growing.”

He laughed and bent to kiss you on the lips. He rocked you as the pan sizzled behind him. You closed your eyes and tensed as suddenly your head flashed with the memory of Ransom, of the way he’d kiss you, harder than Dez, and the way it always turned to more whether you wanted it or not.

“Hey,” Dez pulled back, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied, “hormones.”

“Aw, hon, well I have the perfect dessert planned,” he purred.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm, strawberry massage oil,” he framed your face with his hand, “a nice long back rub…”

“Perfect,” you giggled, “why are you spoiling me?”

“Don’t I always?” he smirked.

“Hmm, rarely without reason,” you said.

“Well…” he voice trailed off and slowly he dropped his arms. He turned his back to you and grabbed the pan, stirring the contents with a shake, “I didn’t want you to miss me too bad.”

“Miss you?” you came forward and bent your arms over the counter, “where are you going?”

“Chicago, there’s some evidence down there we need to look at and they refuse to transfer it to our office so… bullshit confidentiality clause, but we need it.”

“How long?” your heart dropped.

“Well, I gotta leave in the morning but I told Gary I won’t stay longer than Monday.”

“And what did he say?”

“He laughed,” Dez shook his head, “I promise, I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I can--”

“No, I understand,” you said gloomily, “it’s just…” you cupped your chin and tapped your lips with your fingertips, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he turned the burner off, “and this little guy,” he touched your stomach and you shivered as you remembered how Linda had done the same with her cold palm, “so, you choose a name yet?”

“Still not naming him Superman, babe,” you chided, “but no, I can’t make up my mind. God, it’s like my mind is in shambles, I can’t remember why I go in a room or even focus on one thing for more than two minutes before I’m distracted by what colour I want to paint the nursery and I can’t even decide on that because then I’m thinking about what kind of wood the crib should be--”

“It’s fine, you’re fine,” he assured as he opened the bag of tortillas, “you’re still there, you’re just… sharing a brain right now.”

“Wasn’t enough to go around in the first place,” you scoffed.

“Shh,” he arranged the plates carefully, like a five star restaurant, tortillas stacked, steak and veg together, a little dish of cheese, some sour cream, lettuce, salsa, all divvied out in a spectacular salsa you would only make a mess of.

“I thought the pregnancy would give me a chance to finish my book, but--”

“Well, you got maternity leave after that,” he said.

“From what? Sitting at my keyboard and crying? I’ll just be holding a baby and crying,” you sighed, “you said you’d take some time off.”

“I did say that and I will,” he grabbed the plates and nodded you out of the kitchen. He set the plates on the table and you sat as he went to grab two glasses and as many bottles. He poured you your spineless champagne and had a beer for himself, “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“You can’t take forever off,” you muttered, “we both know that. I could go back to copywriting and maybe--”

“Babe, that job made you miserable and you will finish your book,” he handed you a napkin, “I’ve read your stuff, it’s… you said your ex was in publishing?”

“Did I?”

“I thought you did, you never really… talk about the exes, which I love but, I think you said something about it. You don’t think he would--”

“No,” you snapped, “no,” you said softer, “he wouldn’t.”

“Sorry,” he said startled by your reaction, “I didn’t--”

“It’s nothing, I just-- exes, right?”

“It was a stupid suggestion,” he said, “I’m sorry, but… I have a client, he might have some contacts.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“I don’t have to, I want to because the world deserves to hear your voice,” he insisted, “I hate to share you but I’d be selfish to keep you to myself.”

You smiled and unfolded a tortilla. Still, your heart raced as the second mention of Ransom that day had you on edge. Dez watched you build your fajita and you looked up at him.

“Well, since you’ll be in Chicago, maybe I’ll get a few pages done.”

🍼

The call came on Monday, Dez wouldn’t be home that night. You contented yourself to stay in with your laptop and sugar cookies. Still, you barely got a sentence done before you snapped your computer closed and gave up with a frustrated grunt. You slept, not well, and got up with some trouble as your hips ached.

A good morning text from Dez made you smile but there was still no promise of an impending return. You felt pent up in the apartment and lonely as its emptiness reminded you of your absent husband. Too tense to sit down and type, you opted to go for a walk, hoping it would calm your nerves.

You walked past the shop windows and stopped to peek in at used books and handmade candles. You had no destination in mind, only a restless step. There was a little store at the corner with locally made quilts and knitted sweaters. The smell of potpourri wafted out from beneath the painted door and made your throat tickle. Even so, your curiosity drew you inside.

A small woman greeted you from behind the desk. She held two needles as she crocheted some indistinguishable craft. You smiled and said hello as you headed down the centre aisle. You looked along the racks of quilts, floral, striped, plaid, and polka dot. You stopped at a bright yellow piece with honey bees along the border. You hadn’t thought of yellow for the nursery.

You felt the soft fabric and checked the tag. You lifted the quilt from the bar, content that it was worth it and a great motivator. You stopped before you could turn back, a familiar voice chilled your blood.

“It’s cute,” Ransom said as he stepped up next to you, “kinda girly for a boy though.”

You glanced over at him and folded the blanket over your arm. You backed up but as you turned he did too. He blocked your bath as he stretched his arm across the aisle.

“My mother told me you were expecting,” he said, “and she was right, you look good.”

“What do you want?” you whispered as you clutched the quilt.

“Nothing, just saying hello,” his mouth slanted.

“Hugh, I’m not stupid,” you hissed, “it’s been five years.”

“Hugh,” he repeated dully, “you remember your manners.”

“Leave me alone and let me past,” you tried to duck under his arm but he shifted his body over and backed you up to the end of the aisle.

“And married,” he taunted.

“He’s outside,” you lied, “if I stay too long--”

“I didn’t see him when you walked up,” he intoned, “he must be easy to miss.”

“Have you been following me?” you uttered.

“Only from the cafe,” he shrugged, “short walk.”

“Please, get away from me,” you quivered.

“I’m not doing anything--”

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” you hissed, “now I will scream so move.”

“Mama Bear,” he crooned, “I love it, you’re so protective.”

“Hugh,” you warned.

“Sweetie,” he hummed.

You shoved his shoulder but he didn’t move. You hit him harder and he winced. He chuckled and stood straight. He waved his arm down the aisle and stepped aside.

“Don’t make a scene,” he said, “you always did like to be dramatic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, “don’t come near me again.”

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me,” he called after you as you dropped the quilt on the counter, “we were so good together.”

You left without buying, a shrill apology to the lady at the counter as you went as fast as you could out the door. The bell tinkled after you and the door clamored shut. You felt nauseous and dizzy. The last thing you wanted or needed was to ever see that man again.