#I’ll be starting this journal this weekend probably so yay! new journal!!

[lovecoredeity]

anyways ive been decorating this journal that ill be using soon for funsies as of late!

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JANUARY 20

I laughed! I cried! January was an emotional month in the world of pop culture. These were my favorites in a month of travel and hunkering inside away from the cold.

January Crowd-Pleasers

John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch (2019)

The cast addresses whether or not this is an ironic kids’ special at the top, but I still don’t feel confident labeling it. I laughed start to finish because of songs and sketches about algebra, plain pasta, and Jake Gyllenhaal’s incompetence teaching music. Bonus: Singing this soundtrack at the top of your lungs is a great stress-reliever.

Fine Line by Harry Styles (2019)

He dresses like Prince and dances like Mick Jagger. “She” feels like a late-era Beatles track, and “Canyon Moon” could have been on a Simon and Garfunkel record. It’s insanely re-listenable and more emotionally and artistically mature than his original solo album.

A Trip to Stars Hollow

My second Warner Bros. Studio Tour was even more magical than my first thanks to the recreation of the Gilmore Girls set. The best part? I went with one of my best friends, my Gilmore Girls podcast co-host, Kyla. Find out why it was so magical on our podcast.

A Quiet Place: Part II Trailer (2020)

Is this movie an unnecessary sequel? Probably. Am I going see it? Totally.

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet Podcast (2018 - )

I haven’t laughed this hard because of a podcast in awhile. (Maybe since Gilmore Guys?) A brother-sister team reads some of the pettiest online reviews in a most dramatic fashion, and it’s just as genius an idea as it sounds.

Newsies (1992)

The journalism student in me felt a kinship to this kid-friendly introduction to the power of the written word accompanied by Kenny Ortega dance moves. Further confirmation that if I’d been older in the ‘90s, Bill Pullman would have been the dreamboat covering the posters on my bedroom wall.

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (2020 - )

Not a perfect pilot, but it did succeed in making my cry. You know I love musicals and Lauren Graham, so you know I’ll be back for the second episode.

SNL with Adam Driver

My favorite actor of the moment (and I suspect for many moments to come) hosted one of the best episodes of the season. Not just anyone can hold an audience captive like he does, and he killed it in his monologue. (See Styles for another rare example). Don’t miss the highlights from this episode, including a very catchy Oscars song from Melissa Villaseñor:

“Chill Monologue”

“Undercover Boss: Where Are They Now”

“Sleepover”

“Weekend Update: Melissa Villaseñor on Oscar Snubs”

January Critic Picks

Late Season Awards Contenders

Okay, some of these were late for me. This month I watched The Two Popes, The Farewell, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, 1917, and Marriage Story, and—spoiler alert!—they all made my Best of 2019 list. See where these 5 and 15 more rank in my top 20.

Little Women (1933, 1949, 1994)

Wait, wasn’t this movie on my list last month? The 2019 version sure was, but since then, I’ve watched the 1933 and 1949 versions for the first time and refreshed myself on the 1994 classic. They confirmed Greta Gerwig’s new adaptation is my favorite, but there’s not a bad one in the bunch. (Katharine Hepburn as Jo! Elizabeth Taylor as Amy!) Kudos to Turner Classic Movies for interviewing Gerwig to introduce the ’33 and ’49 versions when they aired.

Stage Door (1937)

Katharine Hepburn? Ginger Rogers? Together? That’s all I needed to hit play on this one. They lead a cast of talented ladies in a funny (and at times, tragic) take on the classic saga of trying to make it as a star. A Best Picture nominee!

To Be or Not to Be (1942)

If you liked Jojo Rabbit or Inglourious Basterds, you’ll want to check out this contemporary World War II Nazi comedy they both borrow from a lot. The jokes still hold up today.

The Good Place Finale

A lot of things on this list made me cry, but this was ugliest cry of them all. The Good Place is was one of the greatest modern TV comedies (I’m having trouble accepting the past tense), but the last episode went in deep on the philosophy that set it apart from most shows on television and sent me more than once to prayer.

Also in January...

Oh, did you catch I wrote my Best of 2019 piece? It’s one of my most favorite (and most agonizing) pieces to write every year, so I’m going to just drop the link again right here.

In addition to our magical trip to Stars Hollow, Kyla and I watched birth episodes from the classic sitcoms I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show.

The writers at ZekeFilm caught up on classics from the 2010s we never got around to. Me? I finally watched 12 Years a Slave. We’ve also been catching up on Oscar-nominated shorts, and I covered the heartwarming Hair Love.

Now that I’m all caught up on Best Picture nominees (even if not all of them made my Best of 2019 list), my Letterboxd is getting refueled with Turner Classic Movies picks again. (Yay!)

Photo credits: Harry Styles; Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet; SNL. Stars Hollow my own. All others IMDb.com.

[writcraft]

2019 Fandom Year Ahead

After writing out my reflections on 2018 I thought I would share some of my fandom goals and things I have going on in 2019. 

I’m going to do a fic related recap/meme of 2018 but I’m waiting for Erised reveals then I’ll get that up too. In the meantime, here’s some of the stuff I have going on in 2019 and I hope you’ll join in some of the fun :D

I’m also upping my participation over on Dreamwidth where you can find me as Writcraft, so if we don’t have mutual access or whatever then do come and say hello and I’ll subscribe back and grant access to my own journal if I recognise your username.

Moderating: Harry Potter

I’m excited about the fests I’m moderating this year and I hope we get plenty of sign ups and people enjoy them. The upcoming fests are below.

Harry Potter Kinkfest (@hpkinkfest): I can’t quite believe Kinkfest has been running for a decade, and I’m super excited to see what people come up with this year. The fest is designed to explore any and all kinks and hopefully be a safe space for creators who fancy working with kinks you see around less frequently, as well as creators who want to write those well-loved kinks and celebrate all the different ways there are to make our favourite characters get their kink on. Prompting is well underway and head over to the fest tumblr to find out how you can leave your prompts if you haven’t already done so.

My Bloody Valentine: An anti-Valentine’s mini-fest exploring the darker side of love, romance, sex, obsession and relationships. This will be a self-prompting, self-posting fest running from 10 - 16 February. More details will go up at @hpdarkarts in mid-Jan but you can start creating at any point if you’re interested. I already know we have a couple of brilliant entries ready to go, and I’m excited to see what people come up with.

Wand In A Knot: The Harry Potter 24 hour smut tag challenge. This is such a fun fest, inspired by similar fests in Teen Wolf, Sherlock and Supernatural fandom. The fest begins with a mod tag, tagging the first participant with a short prompt and then go, go, go, you have 24 hours to produce and post your fanwork, choosing your own character/ship to fill the prompt. You get your fanwork up, then tag the next participant with a short prompt and they then have 24 hours to create their contribution. It’s super fun to be part of, and we hope sign ups go swimmingly. There is a 30 participant cap and the tagging will happen on a dedicated fest Discord. Follow @wand-in-a-knot for details which will go up around March. The fest starts in May.

Harry Potter Horror Fest: The annual HP Horror Fest, an anonymous prompt based fest, will be back this year only this time it will run in September. Keep an eye on @hpdarkarts for details.

Moderating: Radio One RPF/One Direction

Grimmy Appreciation Fest (@grimmyappreciation): For those interested in 1D/Radio One RPF fandom, this annual fest dedicated to fanworks focused on Nick will be running again in 2019. More details will go up in the summer.

Gryles Exchange (@grylesexchange): I’m delighted to be part of a terrific mod team for this year’s Nick/Harry exchange which will open for sign ups at the end of January. Keep an eye on the blog for more details.

Writing

I’ve got a bunch of projects I’m super excited about this year. I’m going to finish off my Festive 500s, probably posting a bunch in a mad rush, then I’m focusing on all the new things. I’m hoping to be a regular participant in the @hpfemslash-minifest when a monthly theme grabs my interest, and I’ll be writing for Daily Deviant on a monthly basis again this year, starting this month. There are a few fests I’ve got my eye on, although I’m trying to limit fest participation. I’ll probably have a little something in the fests listed above as I want to write at least two pieces of dark/horror fic this year, I’m hoping to do the Snarry-a-Thon at Snape Potter, and after that, we’ll see! I’m sure I will do one of the Drarry fests, the question is which one??? It will likely depend on timing and other commitments.

HARRY POTTER

Play Me Like A Love Song - I am working on a novel length Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank story. They make a fleeting appearance in my Drarry fic, Little Compton Street, and this is their story set within that 'verse. It charts them meeting in the 50s, how they got together and looks at the communities they found on Little Compton Street and their work with those communities during the AIDS pandemic in the 80s.

Novel Length Snarry - I've been really enjoying indulging in writing longer stories and I haven't really written a novel length Snarry. I really want to spend some time on this ship this year in general. Expect much more Snarry from me this year and feel free to block the tag if it’s not your thing.

Losing His Religion Series - I swear the sequel to my Drarry fic Bedroom Hymns isn’t abandoned. It’s on the list of projects to complete this year and I’ll be glad to share the second instalment with you!

Festive 500s - God, I wish I had called these ‘suitable for any time of the year’ 500s :D - nearly finished with them and with 10 remaining chapters to post, I hope the rest will be up by the end of the weekend.

Daily Deviant - As above.

ONE DIRECTION / RADIO ONE RPF

Rebel Girl - I am super excited about this story, my first genderswap fic in this fandom, pairing Nick Grimshaw and Louis Tomlinson. This story will be a queer coming of age story focusing on Manchester's music scene, LGBT communities and self-discovery. On her first visit to Manchester’s Canal Street, Louis becomes captivated by flighty, infuriating DJ Nick who offers Louis the no-strings sex she thought she wanted. As Louis and Nick grow closer, pretending not to care becomes increasingly difficult.

London Rain - My Tomlinshaw hook-up app fic that I still haven't finished. Hoping to get this up at some point this year.

Someday You Will Find Me - Another 2018 WIP I haven't finished, in which non-famous Nick and Louis fight over the last copy of Oasis album What's The Story (Morning Glory) in an L.A. record store, and it leads them on a forty-eight hour music binge at Louis' posh house in the Hollywood Hills. A kind of liminal spaces story, structured around music from Northern England.

Thirteen - The Harry Styles/Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson Doctor Who AU with Nick as the Thirteenth Doctor that I've had in my WIPs for ages. Maybe this will be the year? Who knows. 

Gryles Kink Fic - My Gryles muse has fucked off, but I’m hopeful it will return. Maybe? Anyway, it’s on the list.

Little Lion Man Sequel. Edited this in because I forgot to include it. But yes, this is happening. It won’t be a multi-chaptered WIP and definitely won’t be as long as the original, but it wraps up some of the things I set in motion towards he end of LLM. Yay!

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2018-12-01: A Most Repugnant Plan

Trigger Warning! This dream deals with school shootings, militant incels, and attempted suicide. I’ll try to spare most of the details, but please sit this one out if you think you can’t handle this post.

Here’s a chance to look at some dream fragments to avoid having to see the bad stuff:

Dream Fragments

I was part of a tribe of people who gather around ceremonial paw-paw tree (paw-paw trees produce the largest indigenous fruit in North America!) once a month on the night of the full-moon. One of our tribal rituals involves a young man trying to escape from a cattle pen filled with invisible zombies. Our tribe is the only thing that keeps the zombies at bay, and each month is basically a military drill for us to keep our skills sharp.

The Main Dream: Your Last Chance To Turn Back

Although I try to record each dream the day it happens (unless I have busy weekends), this dream was so morally awful that I couldn’t bring myself to write about it until I had some emotional distance from it and some extra time to dull some of the details. This dream starts off in a cesspool of toxic masculinity and skewed thinking, because the Fish Davidson in this dream has joined the militant incel movement. “Incel” in case you missed the news coverage about it, is shorthand for “involuntarily celibate” and has been co-opted by angry youth (especially white males) who believe that they are entitled to sexual gratification through their very existence. The internet echo chamber twists and weaponizes these sentiments and some of these people are driven to violence to disrupt a perceived system that is designed to keep these unlovable individuals out of the gene pool.

So we’re off to a good start, because I’m one of those dudes (sarcasm!). Yay.

I am a student attending a large university, and I have become friends with a bunch of likeminded young men. There were probably 30 of us in all, and we were insufferable. We couldn’t understand why people didn’t want to love us, while conveniently turning a blind eye to how insufferable and awful we were. Everyone else has a problem, not us!

Somehow our little group of friends decide to disrupt the system in a grand and dramatic fashion. All the people at our university who are denying us the love we are entitled to will be murdered. If all of us work together, we can go down in history as the perpetrators of the largest school shooting in history. And this attention (regardless of whether we lived or died) would somehow correct the systemic injustices against us.

As you can probably imagine, this is an absolutely terrible plan. But dreamtime Fish Davidson is desperate and has nothing left to lose, so he’s on board with the whole thing. We begin plotting in earnest, though in the dream I do not think this plan will ever come to fruition.

We give our operation a codename: Plethcott. No one outside of our friend circle is ever to hear mention of this codename. The first phase of our plan is to commence the student government to allow some students to make a temporary outdoor art exhibit to protest gun violence in schools. Ha! The irony!

Our proposed exhibit would be located in a courtyard near the middle of campus. It would consist of several mannequins covered in brightly-colored knit bodysuits. The mannequins would be completely covered head-to-toe in yarn, so that no one could see who was underneath. Each mannequin would be sprawled out on the ground like it was dead, and beside each mannequin was a gun similarly covered in yarn.

After the exhibit had been up for a week or so, we would remove the mannequins, put on their bodysuits, and lay down on the ground until the time was ready to strike. We needed this exhibit to be located in this courtyard because it was in a central location so everyone could see the original exhibit and get used to the idea of yarn people with guns. The original exhibit used toy guns covered in yarn, but once we swapped out the mannequins, we would also swap out the toy guns for actual assault rifles.

Each of us would walk to a different building in our yarn suits with our yarn gun, and we would all open fire on a classroom at a predetermined time. If you have 30 people perpetrating such a thing, the number of potential victims gets really big really fast. We were hoping for an “improvement” in casualties at least an order of magnitude larger than the previous most deadly shooting.

Fast forward about a month or so. I’ve sort of forgotten about our plan since none of us know how to knit and I haven’t heard any updates on it. I though it was maybe just a plan that people thought up and had no intention of carrying out. But that changes when an administrator invites the student body to attend an announcement in the university’s auditorium. Several of my incel buddies are going to be in attendance, but I thought it was just because they wanted an excuse to skip class.

The administrator shows everyone a new sculpture that’s going to be commissioned for the courtyard on campus. It’s the mannequins idea our group had proposed. This administrator was apparently also an incel and was a friend of a friend, which was how he came to be involved in this project. Where everyone else just saw a weird piece of art, I saw an ugly face oozing of the sweater suit like meat coming out of a tube.

“OH GOD, THAT’S PLETHCOTT!” I exclaimed.

Any incels there heard my exclamation, and they knew I broke our vow of secrecy. Their spirits deflated because now people might start asking questions about Plethcott. I had ruined their plan, so naturally, they wanted to kill me for it.

It is at this time that I thankfully had a change of heart and thought that maybe not murdering a bunch of people was a good idea. I needed to let a bunch of people know about the shooting before it happened and also before I got assassinated.

Next door to the auditorium is a ball room with a bunch of rich alumni in it. I burst into the room and start a loud monologue about what’s happening. I tell everyone about Plethcott and my part in planning it. I also let everyone know that it’s a terrible idea and shouldn’t have been planned in the first place, and also that I will formally renounce my scholarships, in an attempt to not get expelled. Lastly, I make a plea to everyone there to help fix the situation in the long-term. Although I can’t remember the exact wording, it involved impeaching Betsy DeVos and voting for elected officials who were educated and not racist. Upon finishing my monologue, I leave through a side entrance and it is now nightfall.

A man steps out of some nearby bushes. He’s one of my incel buddies and he looks like Logan Paul wearing a black trenchcoat. “Hey, dude,” he says. “Can I kill you?”

My shame is palpable and I would very much like to die. This man’s offer resonates with me. May as well go ahead and get it over with. “Sure, how?”

The man pulls a large knife from his coat. “I’m gonna stab this knife into you a bunch of times.”

Stabbing is a lot more painful than I was planning on for my suicide, and also it has a much lower incidence of success than guns.

I start backing away. “No, thanks. I’m looking for something quicker than that.”

The man keeps walking toward me at a steady pace, and I spend the rest of the dream running away and not getting stabbed. That said, though, I probably should have been stabbed for being so awful in that dream.

----------------------

Header image by Phyllis Galembo, “Atal Masquerade, Emanghabe Village, Nigeria, 2004″

[lookupatthesky]

2018 Goals - September

HELLOOOO I was going to say LiveJournal. Not hello LiveJournal, sadly. (Sadly?) Hello tumblr! This post is super late because I have had a pretty intense week! My mom moved today, and work has been overwhelming (emotional! and busy!), and I’ve been waking up at 4am because apparently my body thinks it’s the cool thing to do, sure, 4am, that’s the time to be awake, and anyway. Now it’s October 5th and maybe I’ve already failed at some goals I haven’t even written out! But first, how did September shake out?

Yearly goals are: Cook one new recipe a month. I cooked a lot in September! My stepfather gave me three HUMONGOUS zucchinis and I baked four new recipes with them (mini-quiches, muffins, bread, and rice with cheese and pulled pork). I also winged a recipe for the first time in my life, it went swimmingly. It’s still early in the year to do year-end reviews (obviously), but I’m really happy I set this goal, because I now feel pretty damn comfortable with my cooking and the routine of making meals. At least for the day-to-day with my daughter. Yay me!

Do something every week with friends or alone (no boyfriends or people I’m hooking up with) to strengthen friendships and become more emotionally independant. I had drinks with friends twice, I went to the museum alone, I saw two plays alone and one with a friend, I had lunches with work friends, I saw Crazy Rich Asians with a friend, I played board games with other friends, friends friends friiiiiends fall is for friends. Read 111 books. 78/111. Stiiiiill behiiiiind. I have also the maximum number of books borrowed from the library which is problematic when I still want to take out ten books every time I go. BOOKS

Watch 12 movies. 14/12!!!! Haha and I had decided I wasn’t doing this goal after all. I saw Sierra Burgess is a Loser (problematic to say the least, but there were some good parts), Voyage au centre de la terre (outside! Marianne’s school organized it), Iron Man 2 (MCU rewatch! I hadn’t seen it haha oops), and Crazy Rich Asians as mentioned (that mahjong scene!). Write two yuletide fics and another outside the exchange. Well I did my Yuletide noms at least? Hopefully I have it in me to write something, but I have to say I’m currently not feeling it at all. The writing energy is spent on other stuff.

September goals were: Declutter bookshelf in office. HOLY SHIT DID I DECLUTTER IT. It was overflowing and ugh and I decluttered my mom’s house and my own house (in other parts) and I was all ready to say I had super-failed at this but on the last weekend on the month I took a “before” picture and then SHIT WENT DOWN. Stuff was thrown out, donated, and put elsewhere (the latter including stuff that probably should have been thrown out or donated, but who am I, Marie Kondo?), and the bookshelf is now downstairs, currently waiting to be filled with puzzles and board games, and there’s a new couch in the office, ready to have me chilling in it when Marianne commandeers the living room to watch Teen Titans for the bazillionth time.

Do a plank every night. I mostly did this! I have stopped in October, though, so I feel like I have failed, but I think I must have done it between 20 and 25 times. I must say that I had some lady stuff happen (IUDs!!!) that made me not want to work on my abs which made this goal a little more difficult.

Read three books from the unread shelf. I did this! 

Don’t go to the restaurant. Haha no I still ate out a lot. Less than in August though, and I tried to only go for social reasons, since I consider the social goal so important that it trumps every other one. So, half-pass! And since I like talking about myself so much, I’ll do a lightning round on the goals I had thought about but didn’t pick: - document my life more (check!!!! I did so many insta stories and I’m addicted to them now) - figure out what to put on the walls (nope) - cook from the freezer more (yep, did two recipes from the freezer, though there’s still work to do) - catch up on podcasts (apparently decided I wanted to mainline a new podcast instead haha, but I did work on it) - lose 5-10 pounds (nooope) - call someone to do the small stuff around the house I can’t be bothered to do (not at all!) ALL RIGHT AND NOW FOR OCTOBER: Journal every day. I’m cheating because I already started ten days ago. I’m using 750words.com which is very encouraging with its little badges and stuff! Wrestle the basement into submission. My sister moved in a couple of weeks ago and with my mom selling the house, we both have a lot of stuff that we need to sift through in order to try to make the basement a homey place and not just “the place where we store our stuff”. Stop being tired all the time. I’m... honestly not sure how to do that, though. Maybe do some research, maybe calm down more... I’ll see. There’s the waking up at 4am thing but also the “I always want my life to feel so FULL” and most of the time it’s a great feeling (in the past month I did a road trip between a full day of work and a school meeting in the evening and it was my favorite thing to ever happen), but sometimes it just turns into feeling rushed and that is not great. Read three books from the unread shelf. Maybe I’ll just re-use the goals that work every month from now on, haha. I’d count how many months in a row I’d have to do this to clear them all but that would be too depressing, haha. Onwards and upwards!

If you’ve read all of this, congratulations, you’re as obsessed with me as I am! Message me sometimes, I’m sure we’d have a lot to talk about! ;)

[a-salty-alto]

Random Thoughts on the finale

So I just watched the finale to season 4, but screencaps are probably not going to come before next weekend because I'm busy with school and stuff. Usually the episodes are up on KimCartoon around noonish EST on Monday, so I'll keep an eye out and post a link when they're up.

Here we go, in no particular order:

So in "Citadel," Tony is grumpy and tells Steve "I'm not one of your soldiers" and Steve replies "You're gosh darn right you're not" SO SULTRILY I thought they were going to make out on the desk right there.

Tony has a journal and I nearly flipped a table because Tony having a journal and documenting his time on Battleworld has SO MUCH ANGST POTENTIAL I'm mad I haven't already written it.

There is a scene between Carol and Hope that serves no other purpose than to remind us they're girlfriends

Jane finally becomes Thor and it's amazing, but she also kicks ass before that.

I'm starting to think that whoever animates those little recap shorts ships FrostIron because like, there's one where Tony and Loki are looking at the Bifrost all proud of themselves and Loki looks at Tony and it's pretty gay

Also also, Loki/Dr. Strange have some good moments too

The Beyonder's 90's outfit is very, um 90's comics I guess. It's amazing, I can't describe it with words

We get some quick Dad Tony and Kamala where he tells her to drive and she's like "why me?" And Tony's like "why not you" and it's really cute

ACTUAL LINE OF DIALOGUE FROM TONY: "uh Cap, if you ever wanted to say one of those bad words I taught you, now would be a perfect time."

WOW

what other naughty things did you teach Steve, Tony?

Kamala called Vision her best friend and I'm crying

So spoilery things are going under the cut

The Beyonder offers Tony immortality and I immediately thought of transhumansim. Idk if how it fit into the context of the episode really works with Transhumanist beliefs but maybe?

Tony and the Beyonder have a sorta "foe-yay" thing going on. Like I could totally see the Beyonder trying to seduce Tony to the dark side with things other than science

I think Loki might have died, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm pissed he betrayed the Avengers but I didn't think he'd actually die

MODOK is a member of the Beyonder's villain squad and Tony says somwthing along the lines of "wow MODOK, thought of you as much of a team player," and that line utterly baffled me because the literal first time we're introduced to MODOK in the show is him working with the Red Skull, then he joins the first Cabal. Then when he's reintroduced in season 4 again in the context of working with Taskmaster. I legit thought it was going to turn out that Tony had amnesia or something and forgotten the first 3 seasons and was just rolling with it.

Season 4 is really weird because like, I LOVE every single episode. I'd haplily rewatch them all again and there are really good bits of characterization for everyone. Despite a doubled cast size, everyone gets a moment to shine this season. The problem is in the overarching story tying them together, because that is weak as shit, and in some cases contradictory. The most ready example for me is in "Beyond," and the whole thinking Tony is dead thing. Not only is that never established, it's directly contradicted. Then there are the Halloween and New Year's episodes, which are again great but they're also essentially filler for the wrong season, which makes them extra pointless to the overall story arc. And that is really bad, because you can't really justify these episodes existing when you have things that need to be established. Season 4 has around 3 or 4 major changes to the status quo and we don't really get to look at all of them in depth because there's already so little time, the fact that two episode slots are lost for season 3 filler is frustrating. Don't even get me started on Ultron. The episodes are all great but I wouldn't be able to binge them.

Just to reiterate I loved this season. For all the main plot frustrates me, all the characters are still great despite the large cast, the voice acting is on point and the character dynamics are varried and well-written. The way i'd fix most problems I have with this season is to add more to it. Give the show some breathing room and extra episodes with these guys. (I might do a compeltely self-indulgent post about this later) I'm pretty sure this is my favorite season after season 3, and it was a lot of fun. And you guys make it even better.

😁

[ridleykemp]

This is 55

Let’s start the birthday post by talking about Nicole. Nicole is a big believer that, if you’re not doing something to make memories, you’re just wasting time. She’s pretty awesome that way. So, she booked us a room at the Hotel Havana last weekend and that is absolutely the best way to lower my emotional temperature. Of all the places I’ve spent the night, that one’s probably my favorite. We almost never stay in the same room twice and it’s still magical.

Yesterday, we had real restaurant food for the first time in ages. Went up to San Marcos, got some curbside from Torchy’s, and ate in a park and oh my stars and garters it was good. It’s been over a year since I’ve had their tacos and it was nearly tear-inducing. She also got me a journal to destroy (yes, really) and a blueberry bush which I planted outside my office. I truly, madly, deeply, love blueberries.

This weekend, we’re going to do a day trip out to Castroville to check out the “Little Alsace of Texas" which I’m sure will be fun no matter what it turns out to be. Is there a “Little Lorraine of Texas” nearby? Do they refer to their courthouse as “Little Strossburig?” OK, I’ll stop now. Anyway, to say I’ve been pampered would be an understatement.

And she’s says, ominously, “That’s not all.”

At the risk of being vague (rather, “being quite explicitly vague”), there was some work news yesterday as well. It was the sort of news that sounds really bad but isn’t. My understanding is that I’m OK and will continue to be so for the time being. That’s good, because I’m in a situation where I’m working from home and have enough autonomy that, even with a heavy workload, I’m not compelled to look elsewhere.

To make it even more vague, I have an analogy I like to use in cases like this. Demand for a product or service is like a body of water. It must be truly vast to support the really big fish, but once the puddle become an ocean, the big fish will dominate and the smaller ones will struggle to survive. But, should the waters recede, the big fish will be the ones to die out while the smaller ones will be able to thrive.

Book and record stores are a perfect example of this. While there was a huge demand for in-person purchases of books and music, the big chains took over. Local stores struggled and most failed. But, as soon as the demand diminished (or, really, moved online), the big chains no longer had enough water to survive while the local joint that made it through the tougher times did well. Borders and Sound Warehouse are gone; Book People and Waterloo are still there.

I’ve been playing with the musical toys a good deal lately and I’ve made quite a few breakthroughs.. They’ve all come on the “production” side as opposed to the “composition” side, but it’s always exciting to learn some new trick. Recording MIDI data into the DAW was a big one, mapping the drum sounds from an 80s drum machine to a newer sequencer was fun and shockingly easy. I just found that there’s a firmware upgrade from the Volca Sample that increases its capabilities and loaded it up last nigh. Wow…huge difference. Just all kinds of neat little things that get me excited to go play in that sandbox again.

I know I’m going to sound crazy saying this because I’m me, but…I have enough goodies? I really can’t think of anything else I need or even want. I do this when I’m writing too. I’ll say “I’ll sit down and do it when I have X, or when Y is done,.” Heck, I’m pretty sure I do it with my job, too. At some point, I just have to make myself do it. I’m not even dreading it, I’m just easily distracted.

On the other hand, I could probably do a gear list. That’d be fun, right?

I reckon 55 is a milestone age of some sort, so that seems a good a reason as any for a bit of a reset.

Maybe not “reset,” but a little spring cleaning maybe? I culled a lot of angry accounts from my Twitter feed. You know the kind, I bet: The kind of accounts that just invite outrage in one direction or the other. I’m an absolute sucker for a heated argument so removing the temptation has been a very good thing indeed.

I’m just trying not to get into arguments. It’s not like I’m going to convince anyone, anyway. But…when someone is spreading disinformation about, say, COVID, leaving that stuff unchallenged feels wrong. So, the goal is to find the balance where I’m challenging the information without it turning into a war.

I bring this up because, the day before my birthday, I came across a dude doing exactly that, spreading falsehoods about the efficacy of masks. It was standard troll stuff, just a lot of dumb statements worded in a way to try to draw a reaction. Nothing new or clever and certainly nothing accurate. My first temptation was to go in guns blazing. I wanted to do that, but I held off, countered his info, and muted him. There’s no adrenaline rush that comes from that, but I think it does make the quality of my life fractionally better, so yay? I’ve also resurrected my RSS list and I’m pleased to find that most of the folks I was reading before are still going. I’m going to do a bit of pruning and add some new ones, but I feel like this will be a much better experience than doomscrolling Twitter for hours.

Not an especially high bar, huh?

Thanks for sticking with me.

-RK

[readingraebow]

Big Little Lies Section One

Chapters 1-19

1. Madeline takes great offense when she notices that the girl in the next car over for texting… but, as her daughter Chloe points out, it turns out that Madeline isn't so innocent when it comes to using her phone while driving, either. Do you text or otherwise use your phone while driving? I try not to but I travel a lot for work so sometimes I end up taking phone calls while I’m on one of those super long drives. Which is not ideal, if I’m trying to use the GPS. And I HATE texting while driving so the only time I’ll actually type a text is if I’m stopped at a stoplight. Sometimes I’ll read a message while I’m actually driving but I don’t respond to them. Texting while driving terrifies me so I definitely don’t do that. I won’t text unless the car is not in motion, haha. But yeah. I use the gps ALL THE TIME though and even that’s sometimes hard/distracting??? Phones are such a blessing and a curse.

2. Jane pretty much instantly becomes friends with Madeline and Celeste. Have you ever had an instant connection with a new friend? I have! I’ve actually had that happen quite a few times. But that especially happened with Lindsey. We met in a PR class and on the first day, we had to do “speed dating” with the rest of the class so everyone could get to know each other and when I met Lindsey and Paulina, all three of us really clicked??? And then when group projects were announced, we all immediately claimed each other, haha. And they were my best friends for the rest of college (and after, with Lindsey). So yes! That has definitely happened to me quite a bit!! (And also with all of my current friends, all of whom I met at work and we just clicked. So. Yay!)

3. What conflict arises when the mothers come to pick up their children from kindergarten orientation? Renata's daughter, Amabella comes out last and she's crying and clutching her neck. Renata swoops in and discovers that someone attacked Amabella. She has marks on her neck like someone tried to choke her. Renata and the teacher talk to her and discover one of the boys attacked her but since it's just orientation, they don't know anyone's names yet so she can't identify who did it. So the teacher has all the boys in class line up and Amabella points right at Ziggy and says that he did it. Ziggy says he didn't and Jane believes him... but no one else does. Renata deMANDS that he apologize but Jane doesn't make him. The teacher doesn't quite know what to do so she basically does nothing. So Renata takes Amabella home but right after she tells Ziggy that if he hurts Amabella again, she'll kill him. And that's when the conflict between the parents begins.

4. What secret do Perry and Celeste have? Perry is HORRIBLY abusive. He has a huge temper, which he takes out on Celeste. But the problem is that Celeste is still hopelessly attracted to him and she equally loves and hates him. So she tolerates his behavior even though she knows she should leave. But she makes excuses for it and she plans to leave him when the boys graduate. But she also knows that Perry has ruined her for other men and even after she leaves him, no one else will compare. So she stays. And she takes it. And she mentions that they should try another councilor but they probably won't. But, deep down, Celeste feels like she's part of the problem as well. Because sometimes she hits him back and it always ends with sex. So it's like she's allowing the behavior because of those things.

5. How did Madeline and Ed meet? They actually grew up across the street from each other and even though Ed noticed Madeline, she never noticed him. He says there were a bunch of boys who used to play cricket in the street and who would be out there playing with them? Madeline. She'd be out there, sparkling and looking like a princess, playing with the boys. Well, the both lived their lives and left home and Ed heard that Madeline married some wanker. And then, like, ten years later he goes to this barbecue and who does he find out in the backyard playing cricket with the boys, in her stilettos? Madeline. They both almost didn't go to that barbecue. But they did. And they've been together ever since.

6. What does Renata do on the first day of school? How does Madeline respond? She hands out invitation's to Amabella's fifth birthday party to every single child in the class, EXCEPT Ziggy. And Amabella is handing them out herself so it's ~obvious. Especially when she walks up to Ziggy, starts to ask for his name and then freezes when she sees who it is and runs off. Well, Madeline gets wind of this and says that if you're not inviting the whole class, you shouldn't be handing out invitations at school (truth). So she marches right over to Renata to tell her this and when Renata doesn't really care, Madeline informs her that Chloe will not be attending Amabella's party. And after Renata walks away, Madeline tells Celeste that this is war. So she'll definitely be doing something in retaliation.

7. What do Di and Madeline discuss? Basically Di is endlessly worried about Jane because she isn't ~communicating as well as Di would like her to. She gets that she's 24 and she's an adult but Di would like to mother her more and Jane is pretty self sufficient. She thanks Madeline for taking Jane under her wing but she's still concerned about Jane. She briefly mentions Jane's past and that Jane hasn't been in a relationship since Ziggy was more. She was dating someone but they broke up and then when Jane got pregnant, they were sure he was the father but Jane was super adamant that he's not the father and it was a one night stand. Plus Jane hasn't stayed put since Ziggy has been born. So she's hoping if Jane makes friends, hopefully this time it will stick and she'll stop moving around. And Madeline assures Di that she will take good care of Jane.

8. What have you inferred so far from the little comments at the end of chapters? Do you have any predictions?Someone died at trivia night. All of our big players are a suspect (or perhaps the dead), since they're not included in the testimony. The events that we're reading are what led up to the death, starting with the incident at orientation. Since then, it's been the career mothers vs the stay at home mothers. And since I've read this book before and watched the show, I already know what's going to happen so I don't have any predictions. But I think at this point in the story when I read it before, I feared that the person who died was either Madeline or Celeste and I was hoping that wouldn't be the case since I really love both of them!

Section One Reading Journal

Okay so. I read this book about two years ago (I think it was when they announced the show? Something like that???) and LOVED IT. And I watched the first couple episodes of the show but, for some reason, didn’t finish it. So later, Dalton and I were looking for something to watch and I suggested this and we watched the whole first season and loved it. And then we watched the second season as it aired and loved it too. So. I have SO MUCH LOVE for this material and I’m so happy to be rereading this!!!

I am loving comparing this book to the show from the back end as well and noticing little differences that I’d forgotten about while watching (like the number of kids everyone has. For some reason all the extra boys were cut out??? Like Madeline’s and Renata’s). And I’m also noticing a lot of foreshadowing about the ending that I definitely missed the first time around. I also flew through this section. This is such an easy book to read. I love it!

Also, I don’t have internet at home yet (I’m hoping by the end of the month *fingers crossed*) so I’m out of town for work this weekend and currently posting this from the hotel. Though the internet here reaaaally doesn’t like tumblr and I’ve been working on posting this for something like two hours. So. THIS IS GOING GREAT. Can’t wait to have my own internet again and can actually keep up with posting my sections!!! *sigh*

So. I’ll post the next one either when we actually get internet at home or the next time I travel for work. Though also kicking myself for leaving the book at home because I definitely could’ve read and posted the next section tomorrow night. Well. Anyway. Excited to continue!!!! (Whenever that might be, haha.)

[experimentalfragments]

documenting the process for adding a stack to a stack

(and how I overcame my phobia of working on this prototype)

I wish I documented my process, thoughts and problems everyday instead of saving them for a cohesive post because now I don’t remember much of it. I think I could derive some of them from my daily journal. 

Monday 4 Sept 2017

After a 6-month hiatus because of chronic pain, I finally spent some time doing a couple of coding exercises on codewars – my head hurt. I felt a little hopeless trying to get back to coding again, it felt like I am starting all over, with a much more dysfunctional brain.

Wednesday 3 Sept 2017

I spent some time updating http://lucent.space – which isn’t really related to the learning network prototype but at least it made me feel a little better getting back into the feel of coding again. 

Thursday 7 Sept 2017

I decided to brave and start looking at my prototype’s code. I could at least run it even though I migrated computers in the meantime. It wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would be, though I think I should start writing comments everywhere. It also doesn’t help that I’m still new at this so I am probably writing badly written code and it looks like spaghetti. 

Friday 8 Sept 2017

I started working on the prototype again. I had a very surreal feeling looking at it because I don’t know who was the person who made everything work (even if badly coded). I feel like when I last worked on the prototype in March, I was also lost at the beginning, but I found momentum so maybe in the 10th day onwards everything clicked together. But now I am like at day one again, looking at my day 21′s code in March and not really knowing how I derived at the solution. I made a note to fix some bugs...which turned out not to be bugs, I just didn’t find the function in the file I expected, LOL (yay past self for covering all ground). 

All I really wanted to do is to allow a stack to exist within a stack, which will allow infinite rabbit-holes (see diagram below):

At first I thought all I needed was to implement meta information without a stack’s page head so the URL parser could parse information like title, description, etc. But it turns out it is not trivial implementing meta information in a single-page app that can be scraped by a URL parser/linter. Sigh. I contemplated rewriting the whole thing in Nuxt.js...

So, plan B was to try to get the stack object information from the stack card/page itself so that I can add it as a card in the stack.  Halfway through my implementation I realised I was getting into a convoluted mess, so I decided to stop and write some pseudo code on real paper (haha). I also had to write the object model on paper to see what data I actually needed. My two hour limit was up so I decided to stop working on it, which was very difficult.

Monday 11 Sept 2017

2 days of weekend break in between so I lost a bit of momentum. I had to warm up by staring at the code again, and the pseudo code I wrote last friday. 

So at first I tried to bring up a modal on the stack card that would allow this stack to be added to a parent stack – I thought this was easy because I already have most of the code existing for adding cards to stack – but I realised (slowly) that the card renderer needs the stack to exist as a card object (duh) to render it as a card (my mind hurts), so if I wanted to do what, I’ll have to:

check stack exists as a card

else create stack as new card object

wait for card object to be added before adding it to the parent stack

...which seems like a lot of work. If I wanted to add this stack to 5 other stacks, it would have to check if it exists as a card 5 times (maybe because I am just bad at this).

I also considered could also somehow create a ghost card which simply contains the key to the added stack, and then pull up the meta data in firebase each time the parent stack renders the card, but that’s just inefficient (I think).

So in the end after a lot of trials and errors, I decided that each time you create a stack it also creates a twin card object, which I am naming it in the object model as a boundCard. A stack object contains its boundCard’s key, and its twin card contains a boundStack’s key. I managed to implement:

create a stack which creates its twin card

adding a stack to a parent stack will add its twin card reference key so it will just be like adding any card to a stack, except it references the stack’s slug as a relative URL and carries a card.type = “stack”, so I can render it differently. 

Updating the stack will also update the corresponding card’s meta info.

Tuesday 12 Sept 2017

I have to solve the problem of what happens when we delete a stack.

Delete the bound card

Delete any bound card references in any parent stacks

Delete any child card references to this stack (which has been implemented before but I have to make sure it works with the twin card concept)

Update card count and stack count 

After making sure everything works (which took a very long time because everything makes references to everything else – data denormalization yay), I had to delete all my existing stacks and create new ones so they will now have card references. Also because I have no idea how to do backfilling.

There’s a ton of bugs, but I’ll take the small win.

Coding is really practicing zen. We have to be comfortable with throwing a lot of work away, especially when one is a amateur like me so I lack the experience to plan ahead. I would have saved myself a lot of grief if I thought of the add stack to stack problem when I first started the project...there’s a tradeoff between wanting to prototype quickly to get a feel of how it works versus really scoping it out. 

The reality is as I go along, I’ll probably have to do massive rewrites, so I have to get used to it.

To be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing or if I’m implementing it the ideal way or if this is actually a prototype or I have a wish for it to be usable one day by other people, or at least for myself to create a virtual library. 

Today I woke up thinking I need to have slugs for every individual card so they can be shared individually, but looking at how instagram/pinterest implements urls maybe I could get away with using their firebase keys?  

I am writing these long notes mostly for myself, I have always regretted when i don’t write them down. I have found a lot of amusement and encouragement looking at my past notes. It reminds me that the process is always messy, but somehow there will be clarity.

[gottaescape13]

Day 89.

I guess I slacked off making journal entries this week. Feel like there is a lot to record so I'll get started with the high points and go from there.

Sam, my kids and me and Steve didn't do anything fancy Sunday....just hung out really. I did end up making Chinese and we had ice cream with rubarb sauce for dessert. It was a nice night.

Monday I worked -- had a couple here, had a couple in Woodbury. Went into Woodbury early and got Panera and went into the new Goodwill before working in Wdby. It was nearly 100 outside...bleh.

Tuesday I saw Andre here at my studio and we brought the Jeep into Carlson's. Bad, bad news. The subframe which holds the engine in place is only staying on with a couple screws and a prayer it is so rusted out. That, along with a ball joint and all new tires would mean over $3000 to fix. Ummmm....no. Broke my heart telling Blue but we'll be looking for a different car to buy with the $1500 we had saved for repairs and then didnt have to use. Who knows, maybe her Dad will chip in something too so we can get a better car. But it was definitely stressfull. At least Steve and I worked out some of that stress after going to bed (Yay!!!! And I mean WOW. That man always surprises me.)

Wednesday Steve brought his car in the Carlson's to get the ac fixed and I worked all afternoon at my studio. Layed around and didn't do much after that.

Yesterday I was at my studio nearly all day. I have almost $300 in cash in my wallet right now, so that's good. Especially since I didn't get unemployment this week. My days of cashing in while sitting on my ass are over I guess. I'm just glad I got it while I did although even just one more week with that $600 would have been a blessing. I grabbed pizza from Carbonnes for dinner -- that will probably always be kinda special for me and Steve since that is where we went on our first date. Ahhhh....feeling sappy now.

Today I am planning on doing a little shopping with the kids before I have to go into work in Woodbury. Just basics like cat litter and paper towels. No big plans for the weekend, although I will be working tomorrow afternoon in Woodbury for a couple of massages. They asked, nothing was happening here and I can't afford to turn away income anymore. Damn it. Sam isnt coming this weekend, so maybe we will just try to fix the lawn mower cuz the yard HAS to be taken care of soon. And we need to work more on the whole cat and dog thing...in some ways I really wish we hadn't decided to get the cats...that is until I pick one up and then I can't imagine it without them. I just didn't expect it to be this hard to get them and the dogs to get along and that there would be so much involved with fixing Steve's stuff up so the animals don't hurt anything. Still not used to the idea of all the stuff I guess...I've sorta learned to look past it out of my love for Steve.

Monday will be Rachel's first day of summer school. It's only one hour M-Thursday for 3 weeks. 12 days of class. I hope it helps and is worth the effort.

Really.

[ddrkirbyisq]

It's that time of the year -- Fanime is upon us again! My last writeup (for 2016) can be found in 2 parts: Part 1 and Part 2. It's currently the night before Fanime "proper" starts on Friday and I'm just doing a bunch of mental decompression as I'm getting ready to go to bed, including this post as well as working on my post-mortem for Raven Delivery Service. Also!  My business cards from Moo came in, which is super duper exciting!!!  They are beautiful and I'm so happy to finally have them in my hands.  Will try and take some photos of them tomorrow morning! Every year at Fanime is a bit different.  Last year the main takeaways from my experience were that I was a lot more chill about the con in general -- sometimes leaving earlier, not going to ALL the things, etc. which was to great effect I think, and that I was able to spend more time actually hanging around friends, which also was great.  There was also no TGM (sadness) but we did stop by the B&W ball for some fun times (yay). This year I'm hoping to replicate the more easygoing approach and mostly take it easy while spending time with friends and in general just having fun being around, being in my wonderful Journey outfit, and basking in the general Fanime atmosphere.  I've got three whole days at con and I don't actually have very much planned! Friday there is a Melee tourney but I feel like I'm like 25% to enter; I do feel like I will probably have better things to do and don't want to just wait around in the gaming hall forever.  There is also swap meet that night!  That said my dance friends are also putting on a dance that night and despite the fact that I have been off of dance recently I might actually be feeling up for it.  So maybe I'll go and do that instead!  It would be a shame to miss swap meet, but....actually, not really.  Last time the only notable things I got from there were some new card sleeves, which were great, but I don't even get to play MtG at all at the moment so that is no longer a concern of mine.  So the only things I would really pick up would be cheap sanrio stuff and random stationery, probably, haha. Saturday night I'm going to see Aivi & surasshu perform live which should be super great!  Ahh, I hope they'll perform more original works >w<.  I have a couple of my business cards which I made with my Love Everlasting album artwork that I want to show them too :) Sunday morning I have to drive to SF to play chauffeur a bit (zzzz) but I'll also be doing a WCS private lesson (whee!) and probably having fun with the other social dance kids at B&W ball. Other than that I really don't have much planned, besides doing the usual rounds of everything at con.  I may also actually (?) register for speed dating this time (actually as in, don't just show up too late and be "eh w/e" like i did last year) but even that is not really too big of a deal.  What IS a big deal is that TGM (TAP i believe???) will be back this year which means awesome Tetris funtimes ahhhhhh so excited for that.  Ooh, and Bishi Bashi will be there too!  And I hear they'll even have Metal Slug there; I actually want to just play through that entire game with someone if possible :)  So maybe a lot of fun gaming is to be had at con this year! I've packed up most of my stuff in preparation for tomorrow and will probably be making it to con lazily sometime in the late morning or early afternoon depending on whatever I feel like (I've taken the day off of work).  My costume is the same as it was at V-ball, but with a minor addition -- I now have two Journey-themed messenger bags and will be using one to carry my stuff around with me at con!  Not to mention I still have my Journey lanyard for holding my Fanime badge (the badges look awesome this year btw!).  So yeah, pretty cool :)  I will have a bunch of stuff that I'll be leaving in my car, like my portable melee setup, extra controllers, watercolor supplies, etc, as well as just-in-case stuff like my ironing board and scissors, etc etc.  I won't need 80% of those things but it doesn't hurt to be prepared! Main thing tomorrow is just to wake up, shower, do makeup, and make my way to con!  Since it's Friday perhaps there will actually be parking in the convention center structure?  If not, I'll head to the old standby--the Safeway parking garage, hehe. Hopefully I don't get super tired of wearing makeup for the whole weekend.  I never put any on nowadays.  I'll have to try and put it on in a somewhat reasonable amount of time, ha ha ha... I'll try to be blogging about each day as it happens.  I know it seems I never really do that for things these days but I actually think it's great for me to just type out everything like this as a way of relaxing.  You know, for the same reason that journaling can be great. Hope to see people at con tomorrow!