#I’ll be fine in a few hours
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cottagegorevampy · 2 months ago
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feeling super! super! super! suicidal hollow and empty and unreal and unravelled and useless and useless and and and
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just-a-cinnamon-bun · 3 months ago
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Guess who’s struggling mentally because of their parents? :D
#personal#my mom this time#my parents have a knack for being completely normal and then taking a hard turn into judgment town#because it really does come out of nowhere when they start dissecting everything that’s wrong with their kids#and then of course they’ll get mad when we don’t like that and make it clear that we won’t stand for it#my mom: fine if you wanna struggle with your bad decisions then do what you want! we only wanted to help!#me: you literally suggested things that would’ve either made my situation worse or worsened someone else#I don’t want to give details but it’s stuff regarding my financial troubles#I’m not in as rough a spot now as I was a couple months ago#but it’s still not an easy time trying to crawl back up with the money I’ve managed to save#and my mom is under the impression that I don’t care and am only making things worse for myself all the time#(so is my dad but he didn’t text me out of the blue to tell me that today)#(he prefers to tell me in person)#hypocritical for a woman who only makes bad financial decisions and is in piles of credit card debt#like the call is coming from inside the house#I’m lucky I have my partner who’s been supportive through my struggle and of course for helping me get out of my parents’ house#but god I hate how they worm their way back into my brain so easily#make me second guess myself constantly and make me dislike every part of me#I’ll be fine in a few hours#tomorrow at the latest#just needed to vent#I know I’ll be okay#just gonna be not okay for a bit
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jumioxox · 1 year ago
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drdttober day twelve - traditional clothing
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kaidabakugou · 10 months ago
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the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺
#kai.rambles#i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired#which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id#and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no#and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing#and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass#and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!?#so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day#and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting#my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy#didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents#who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning#so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :(#anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id#and he was just being a fkn dick#but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺#and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few ����
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cecilsrandomeverything · 6 months ago
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Hihi!! Hru? :D
It’s going, that’s for sure! 😃
Another day, another dollar! 😄
I’m here, aren’t I? 😁
(and other Stereotypical All-American vernacular for “I’m feeling empty and lifeless”)
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antxnous · 2 months ago
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ok definitely have a concussion frm this newer fall. woe is me
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theshadowrealmitself · 1 year ago
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Still thinking about Spiderpeople (and people connected to those Spiderpeople) from the universes where it seems an awful lot like they’re the only heroes landing in a universe where it’s one of the Spiderpeople who’s surrounded by other heroes like the Avengers and the Fantastic 4, etc
And obviously because of this they’re gonna be extra careful about secret identities because of all the extra heroes who aren’t Spidey hanging around, and I’m just thinking about the Prowler (Aaron) trying to figure out if he’s alive or even existing in this universe while trying not to give away too much so he’s just like “who’s the coolest bald man you know?”
And Spidey’s like “oh!! I know exactly who you want!! follow me!!”
He brings them to Nick Fury.
Later on they run into what’s obviously a variant of Miles, who the other Spidey of that universe didn’t bring up because Miles isn’t known as “Spiderman” in that universe (maybe it’s like “arachnikid,” or it’s Prowler!Miles, or maybe he’s just going through a phase where he’s trying out a new hero name each week, etc)
So Aaron’s like “oh great, I can definitely ask him, but again I gotta be discrete because of all these extra heroes around” so he asks him in the exact same way he asked the other Spidey (“who’s the coolest bald man you know?”)
Miles also brings them to Nick Fury.
(Yes his uncle is still alive, yes the other Aaron is absolutely gonna tell on him)
Also! Because there’s so much emphasis on the other heroes handling “big stuff”, I like to imagine they all keep trying to insert themselves into the situation because it’s a multiverse situation which falls under “their jurisdiction” and Spidey’s just like “??? they’re all Spiderpeople tho, this is my thing, go away, shoo”
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skyward-floored · 4 months ago
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I thought briefly about going up on the beach just because it would probably be interesting at 3 am but then I remembered most sane people don’t go walking around by themselves in the middle of the night
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myfandomhalf · 1 year ago
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Season Finale
Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments
You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.
First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.
And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.
Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.
And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.
He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.
And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.
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driftingballoons · 11 months ago
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Taking requests for low effort pokemon doodles specifically drawn with my left hand bc all my fingers on right one are bandaged together :)
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shima-draws · 2 years ago
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Told my boss that NO I cannot take over customer phone calls because my anxiety will literally not be able to take it. And I’m being SO brave about it,
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cheeseburgersinparadise · 8 months ago
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HOW DOES ANYONE GET A JOB
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seventh-district · 9 days ago
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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trash-bin-ary · 2 months ago
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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neondiamond · 9 months ago
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dorindameddler · 5 months ago
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Anon I haven’t seen the episode yet lol
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