#I’d like to think I know a good bucks match when I see one tho 😔 I was so hyped for them being so on form last week this jst felt like

[spinetacks]

🐌 💤

[clemencetaught]

get to know the author!

name : ferre

pronouns :  they/them

preference of communication : discord, but i can do tumblr ims. honestly, i’m slow on both but i’m a tad quicker to get back to ppl on discord….although again, these days i prefer to keep my discord to solely those whom i feel ooc wise comfortable around!

most active muse :  this guy ( patrick ) clawed his way into single muse blog status with the number of times he gave me brainrot on my multimuse so i’d say it’s probably patrick :’D

experience / how many years :  like about on-and-off for about 8 years? i did do a little bit back in 2013 in quizilla ims which was my introduction to rp before i started formally on tumblr in 2015….that being said i was on-and-off for about the first three years until in 2018 when i made calum- he was the first muse of mine that actually like, stuck :’D that being said, i did also take like a year hiatus in 2020 before coming back in 2021 so uh….eight years might not be the most accurate number jfksdljfkl

best experience : this attempt so far?? Has been so wonderful and i wouldn’t change any of what has happened for the world- my mutuals and writing partners are so skilled and friendly and patient and LITERALLY some of their muses have managed to elicit responses and character development from my muses that i would have NEVER imagined :’D but if we have to go specific….maybe it’s the hunger games au verse i dragged some ppl into?? the plotting and characters they have come up with is PHENOMENAL and wow, i’m gonna stuck to them all like super glue for 5ever <3

rp pet peeves : so many! my biggest ones, however, are self-centered and inconsiderate partners: those who disregard my rules, those who talk only about their own muses in every thread and plotting interaction, those who only seem to take interest in my blog(s) when it involves receiving writing from me. That and blogs that follow first but never make a move/any indication of interest, not even a like on my posts….no offense, but i’m not chasing after you. Other pet peeves include facechasing, trauma dumping ( ooc and ic ), and drama. oh, and partners who just don’t?? Respond to my attempts at some kind of ooc interaction- it can even be in tags, but if you’re not saying anything then that kills my enthusiasm very quickly.

fluff, angst, or smut : see, i want character development and exploration in my threads so i don’t think it’s fair to split up threads into these categories bc if done with intention, you can learn something new about your muse and your partner’s muse in any thread ( and yes, that includes the crack threads- DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME :D ) i will say though, smut is highly unlikely here just bc patrick is demisexual + it’s gonna take like 2839402384098 years for him and hyuk to look at and act on each other in that manner :’D

plots or memes : plotting <3 but memes are good for starting off plotted dynamics tho!! most times, however, i’m not a fan of first meetings either. I like to have some kind of dynamic/backstory to go off of and would rather not overstep any boundaries so you’re not really a plotter… we might not be a good match. 

long or short replies : see, patrick is a literature professor. for someone softspoken and reserved, he has a TON of thoughts and opinions so whenever i do try to keep things short and sweet, he bucks against it and will give me at least three paragraphs….over 1000 words too. we’re very ( not ) sorry :’D

time to write : depends on what’s happening at work and what my mood is. I do try to do my writing in the afternoon/morning though as most days i feel like i haven’t done anything productive/meaningful until i’ve written at least something.

are you like your muses : hahahaha, nah. I mean, we do have similar interests ( ie. literature and working in higher ed ), but personality-wise he’s much more stiff and erudite than me :’D i will say i think all characters we write do have pieces of ourselves in them, otherwise they’d never be able to grow, but for the most part, no i don’t think i’m really like patrick <3 at the very least, i'm not nearly as repressed as him fjskdlfjsl

tagged by: @wynterlanding ( thank you so much ♡ )

tagging: take it if you would like!! i'm would be curious to see how you describe your own rp style :3

[jakeabel]

yo i see you have a physical media collection of music! i want to start collecting again because dumb me a couple years ago gave away or threw out some cds i use to own🙄just wondering where do you recommend starting off to buy physical stuff again?

ooh collecting cds and vinyls is so fun. i would say discogs is your best bet for most music. even if the thing you want isn’t for sale on there right now 1) it might be later and 2) the site itself has a lot of useful information. i think my biggest mistake when i started collecting was buying off of ebay because everything is a lot more pricy over there (it is worth checking out for comparison’s sake tho)

discogs is also useful because it has a page for every release an artist has done, as well as a page for each type of media the music was released on (ie. folie a duex has a page for the album itself, a page for each different cd that was released, a page for each different vinyl that was released, etc). this can help you get a good idea of What you want to get (i also suggest looking at other peoples collections and getting an idea of what exactly you want before you start buying). the pages show you the highest, lowest, and median price the media has sold for on the site too so you have an idea of whether or not a seller is giving you a good deal

HOWEVER, for albums i would recommend checking out used-book/vinyl stores (half priced books is my go-to) ESPECIALLY if you are looking for cds because there’s a good chance they will have it for cheap. i have also gotten them to price match a cd for a few bucks off lol. of course it depends on the artist, but for fob i’ve been able to get a lot of their main albums in person for a few bucks (srar and abap are the most common ones i’ve seen). eps are a different story, and ofc if you want something in mint condition you’ll probably have to go online. i haven’t had much luck for fob vinyls either, but it all depends on where you are yk.

and yeah. that’s my advice for how to shop. otherwise, i’d recommend making a spreadsheet (dorky, i know) of the cds/vinyls you want and cds/vinyls you have because if you’re like me you might do something stupid like try to buy the srar vinyl twice 😑. also if you don’t have moral objections to it, check amazon for stuff because they might have it cheaper than other places

and yeah! good luck collecting :)

[randomidiocyncrazies]

i know you like them both so yunichika and oda/aoki for the ship ask

thank you for giving me a chance to gush about these kids!!! they’re precious.... this got pretty long so imma put it under a cut

YuniChika, the main boys of 2.43:

• when or if I started shipping it:

tbh i didn’t really ship them when i read the first book... they’re the kind of pairing that i can see people shipping and i think it’s cute, but i’m not super invested in them as a romantic pairing. I think i was more sold about them as a ship in the second book, but i can’t quite remember if there was a specific moment that made me change my mind, or if it was a gradual process

• my thoughts:

i think the anime definitely played up the tension between them (allll the blushes lol), but i’m glad people are enjoying the YuniChika content XD they’re pretty cute!

also, i think they balance each other well and spur each other to become better—Yuni and Chika are both self-centered(?) in very different ways: Yuni lacks drive because he mostly wanted to please people so they’ll like him, while Chika has the opposite problem in that he acts like he doesn’t care what people think of him. 

but now Yuni is able to take a stand for his interest in volleyball and for Chika, and while Chika doesn’t really soften and still has a problem with not realizing how harsh he could be, he’s more willing to communicate his thoughts.

• what makes me happy about them:

boys reuniting! relearning how to have a relationship with one another! learning from past mistakes and trying to be better people together! HELL YEAH

• what makes me sad about them:

boys, please use your words to communicate with each other...

also, from Yuni’s perspective, it’s kinda sad when someone you used to know really well comes back into your life, but they’ve changed so much that they are essentially a different person... but of course they have a new opportunity to become closer now 😉 so i’m not that sad about it

• things done in art/fic that annoys me:

... there are fanworks for them????????? 

(on a more serious note, erasing their flaws to make them more likable... please don’t make Chika ‘secretly nice’ or whatever, the kid is blunt as hell, and not realizing how his words affect others is his biggest flaw. on the other hand, Yuni can still be a little spineless at times, and sometimes his priorities are. questionable.)

• things I look for in art/fic:

hm, i’d like a future fic about them as professional players! i think their inclination is to stick together (they’re a package deal!) but it’d be super interesting to read something where they’re on rival teams years down the line

EDIT: haha Chika actually transferred to Keisei High School after their first Spring Tournament, so he and Yuni have faced each other as rivals since then (2.43 next 4years). they’re go to the same university and are on the same team now though!

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

uh i don’t really have specific people for this, but Chika would probably have to be with someone who understands his love of volleyball (like Oda, but if Oda wasn’t their team captain and thus too much of a dad friend to qualify as a romantic interest), and someone who can inspire Yuni would be good for him

also, i know who i’d NOT be comfy about: the first book (and anime i guess) had this weird tension between Itoko and Yuni, COUSINS who BASICALLY GREW UP TOGETHER. i think(?) their weird whatever was mostly dropped in the 2nd book and wasn’t really made explicit, but like. what the hell. (i have no idea what happens beyond the 2nd book.)

• my happily ever after for them:

the YuniChika in college arc is being serialized rn, so in a way that’s already fulfilled? (i have NO idea what’s going on tho) 

in general i just hope they can play volleyball together until one or both decide not to, for whatever reason, and that they stay in each other’s lives and support each other even after they’ve retired from competitive volleyball. i think with Yuni’s personality he could be a good coach after getting more experience, and Chika... he’s really valuable as a strategist, but I think he’d always be a little brusque, so he’s respected but hard to bond with if he does take on coaching?

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

bold of you to assume Chika even cares about sex

anyway, they don’t go to movies for a romantic date night, they go watch volleyball matches. sometimes this backfires when Chika gets too frustrated at bad plays tho

and of course i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about Oda/Aoki, the main guys of my heart (my OTP for this series tbh):

• when or if I started shipping it:

they pinged on my radar when they were bickering in Ibara’s chapter, but i wasn’t super duper invested... and then I got to The Dog’s Perspective and the Giraffe’s Perspective (specifically The Kick™) and oh god i’ve never fallen so fast

• my thoughts: 

GOD WOW Aoki really loves Oda... even though objectively Oda’s height prevents him from being a super ace, he is the coolest, strongest super ace to Aoki. i think it’s beautiful that someone can see you as your best self even when you’re feeling shitty about yourself. Aoki knows that objectively Oda faces a lot of obstacles, and wants to support him as best as he can—not out of pity (pity would’ve burned out long ago), but because he really respects Oda’s passion and drive.

also, these two have unaddressed issues that they should talk about! Oda, i know you feel inferior but you are so much better than you think you are. please accept that Aoki really does respect you, and that you are worthy of it (or like, you don’t have to be ‘’’worthy’’’’ or ‘’’’’’deserving’’’’’’’’’’ of it, because it is Aoki’s choice to support you and play volleyball with you!!! it’s not something you gotta earn, it’s something freely and happily given to you)

(ahhhhhh i die when i think of them)

• what makes me happy about them: 

gosh i love their dynamic SO MUCH! Oda is exactly my type of character (passionate, determined, knowing that he can never be the best at what he’s passionate about due to factors he cannot control, trying to be kind and gracious but struggling with feelings of inferiority and jealousy, thinks of himself as a selfish person, a supporting character...) and Aoki’s devotion is really touching. 

again: even when you feel like crap about yourself, there’s someone out there who thinks you’re the best thing that happened to them.

there’s also the fact that Oda thinks the world of Aoki as well (to the point of feeling inferior, which is like... c’mon Oda :/ you are better than you think you are!) he trusts Aoki a lot, despite knowing his willingness to engage in, uh, underhanded methods

• what makes me sad about them: 

it’s their last year together, and they’d be approaching a new phase of their lives in different places... although Aoki offered to lower his rankings so they’d go to the same university, realistically they’ll go to different colleges, and most likely end up in different prefectures. (like, not only do i think it’s a Terrible Idea to give up your dream school so that you could stay with someone else, there is no way Oda would accept the offer without being crushed by guilt. something like that would actually ruin their relationship, which i think Aoki knows as well.)

there’s also a lot left unsaid between them at this point and i just want them to lay everything out between them and move forward together

• things done in art/fic that annoys me: 

the fact that there’s NONE >:[ what does a gal have to do to get some content for them???????

• things I look for in art/fic: 

at this point anything is fine.... it’s a desert out there and i’m dying

more specifically i’m Extremely Down for a get together fic; i personally only see them getting together after high school, at least several months (or even longer) studying in different prefectures and no longer able to see each other every day. (i mean... absence makes the heart grow fonder right?)

i’d also love to see Oda using Aoki’s first name, considering Aoki calls him “Shin” and all. Oda managing to surprise/fluster Aoki would be nice too.

EDIT: they’re both in the Kansai region (2.43 next 4years prologue). Oda’s revealed to be studying in Osaka, and assuming Aoki got into KyoDai, they should be around 2 hours away from each other by train? so visiting each other over short breaks would be cute! also, apparently Oda took a gap year before going to Osaka (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2), so something set during that time would also be awesome :V

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

hm... if i had to imagine people well-suited to them, i’d say Aoki’s type is people who are straightforwardly passionate about their interests (Oda hooked him with his unbridled love of volleyball way back in their first year of high school after all), and I think Oda probably needs someone who is willing to indulge him a little (like Chika he can be pretty dang determined about what he wants, though without the single-minded intensity at the expense of everything else)

... this is just a roundabout way of saying i think they’re ideal for each other, especially if they resolve the problem of hiding things from the other

• my happily ever after for them: 

they get careers/hobbies they enjoy, and get a place together as boyfriends/husbands. no i will not hear any criticism of this idea

i can see Aoki working in the private sector (this guy is fine with ‘joking’ about blackmail after all!) after getting his law degree. this is super self-indulgent, but given his penchant of rooting for passionate but objectively disadvantaged entities, i think it’d be pretty awesome if he works for a smaller company that truly believes in their work, instead of working at a big firm pulling in big bucks.

while I’m not sure what Oda is canonically studying, I can see him going into sports education or sports therapy—i think he’d be really good at nurturing the talents of other athletes, and he’s good at rallying the team (Aoki pretty much says he’s the heart of the team in the epilogue of the first book, though Aoki’s kiiinda biased lol). i think it’d be really cute if Oda coaches a grade school team!

neither plays volleyball competitively after high school, but sometimes they watch matches for fun (esp if their ex-teammates are playing). Oda also makes Aoki come to his students’ matches if he doesn’t have work

EDIT: apparently Oda continues competing as a wing spiker in college, playing in Kaisai’s 2nd Collegiate Division (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2)—Aoki probably watches his matches, even when he’s busy (and Oda probably chides him for neglecting his work, but they both know Aoki can manage his workload).

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

hm... idk, i think they’re the kind of couple who are cool with just chilling with each other doing their own work. like, Oda planning strategies for the kids he’s coaching while Aoki reads next to him, occasionally glancing over to make comments, stuff like that

also since Oda says they mostly talked about volleyball during high school, I can kinda see them finding something new they both enjoy after they get together? Maybe shounen manga, for something fun

[jbbuckybarnes]

The Sweater Thief

Bucky x Reader (Agent 16) Description: Nat dares you to steal more sweaters in the compound than her, turns out this has more perks than just some cozy oversized clothing. Warnings: Fluff, playful pinning against a wall,

Agent 16 Masterlist | General Masterlist

You and Nat were sitting in Nat’s room in the gloomy light of her nightstand lamp. “Would be dumb to be surrounded by giant men and not try to wear their clothes.” Nat deadpanned after proposing an idea. “Whoever has more sweaters by the end of the week.” you held out your hand to Nat and seconds later there was a handshake. Back in the common area, Nat went to the kitchen while you sat down on the couch to watch a few episodes of Brooklyn 99 with Bucky and Sam. What they didn’t know is that you hacked the regulator for the room temperature. After the first episode, you noticed the first reactions to the room getting warmer. After the second episode, Bucky noticed. “Do only I feel like it’s getting too warm in here?” “No, I think it’s perfect. You’re not wearing the right attire for room temp.” you smiled at him luring him into your trap. After the third episode, his sweater landed between him and you. After the fourth episode, Sam’s sweater landed on your lap. After the sixth episode, someone came in and opened the windows. Perfect timing to put on two sweaters over your crop top since you could play the sensitive card. After the seventh episode, you made your way to your room to go to sleep. In the room, you immediately put off the two sweaters and stored them in the little secret storage space under the floor of your closet. Extra hard to find.

The next morning you left your room to see Nat in the hallway walking past you in a long sleeve that was clearly Bruce’s. After that, you walked into the kitchen to see two super soldiers sitting on the counter eating some kind of oatmeal.  The following minute was spent with trying to reach the one special bowl you needed for pancake batter. The two just watched you climb on top of the counter with your yoga shorts and sports crop top on. It was a bit hard not to stare at someone that well trained. Bananas, eggs, milk. You only did this on special days or when you were sad and needed comfort food.  The two boys looked at each other with one brow raised each. You didn’t look sad. There was a flow you were in with making the recipe, perfectly ignoring them. “What’s the reason for the special pancakes?” Steve dared to ask. “Winning,” you mumbled before eating the first one. That certainly didn’t answer anything except for you making the pancakes for the special occasion.  The duo was interrupted from the question marks in their heads by the sound of their phones “Mission. See ya, 16.” Steve said and got a smile back.  This was the perfect opportunity to sneak into their rooms and steal some more sweaters. Maybe 2 or 3 each. Not enough for them to notice that fast.  While you went through Steve’s closet you needed to admit that he didn’t have the worst taste in clothing when it came to hoodies, long sleeves and sweaters. You almost could wear his sweaters as dresses and considered asking him for them in the future. When it came to Buck’s room you needed to be a little bit more sneaky. He noticed little differences way faster, so you tried to not to touch a lot of things in his closet and only took from the pile of his black and grey hoodies. You liked the basic style he had. “Oh please don’t notice.” you didn’t wanna die if you were honest. The 6 new sweaters and hoodies made their way under the closet floor.

The following three days you sneakily took a sweater here, a sweater there & while most boys were on another mission you went into their rooms again.“How many do you have?” Nat asked with a smirk on the dining table. “16. You?” you felt great about it and it also matched your Agent number. “17.” she was feeling superior for a second before she went back to the topic you’d talked about before. You needed to top that. The only ideas you had were including the two super soldiers but you knew they already were on their way back from the mission. After Nat made her way back to her room to get ready for training, you sneaked into Steve’s room again. The thin long sleeve would be enough. You instantly brought it back to your room to save it. “17,” you mumbled before heading to Bucky’s room. Silently opening the door and made your way to the closet to open it equally as soundless. You quickly picked a black one that was even oversized on him and put it on. It wasn’t even a millisecond after you had it completely on that you were pressed against the next wall. “What are you doing in here?” he was dangerously close to you and threw you off even more. “Uh. Stealing a hoodie…?” you answered a little insecure about being caught. “And why?” he liked doing this, you could see it in his eyes. “They’re comfortable,” you mumbled not wanting to give the true answer at first. He let loose a little bit “Why don’t you just ask?” “Cause it’s a bet. I’m supposed to not ask. It’s about stealing.” you smirked. The grip got tighter again “Well if that’s the case, I can’t let you go until you give it back.” “You’re enjoying this a tad bit too much.” you finally noted out loud. And the grip got less intense again “Who’s the bet against?” “Nat,” you answered deadpanning and he let you go completely. “How many do you need?” he gave you a mischievous smirk. “I’m good with this one. But...2 more wouldn’t be bad.” you still felt insecure about this situation. You usually didn’t talk that much to him outside of the shared TV time and breakfasts. And maybe you were having a small crush on him and didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him. His face changed to a more a caring expression “I really scared you.” “I mean...uuh. A little bit,” you mumbled. “A little bit? I can hear your heartbeat.” Damn you for having enhanced hearing! And thank god that you aren’t that good with emotions. Also please stop eyeing me in your gigantic sweater. He held his arms open and embraced you in a hug. It was fun but he didn’t want to scare you. He didn’t expect your heartbeat to pick up again while he was trying to comfort you.  Wait. Were you scared OF him? Did he do something wrong since you were part of the team? “Sorry.” he really was. “No, not for that.” you broke the hug with a smile up at him. He grabbed the two sweaters on top of the pile in his closet and gave them to you. “You look good in them by the way.” he smiled down at you and heard your heartbeat a little faster. Oh. OOOH. “Thanks. Uuh. I’m just going to...store these somewhere safe.” you nervously bit your lower lip and really were in the mood to just run out so he let you make a quick way out. So the cutest Agent out of ALL of them was having a crush on him. You never really talked much with each other but you always were open with him about pretty much everything. You just talked more often to Steve. No wonder, he was way more confident with these things today compared to back in the day. Totally out of it himself he opened his closet again, put on another two sweaters and walked down to your room.

Two knocks. “Yes?” you asked confused as the door opened. Bucky came in and closed the door behind him. “I have more sweaters for you...I mean, only if you need them.” he realized that he never really was in this room before. “Sure. Why not?” you smiled at him looking around curiously. One sweater, two sweaters, three sweaters. Oh please also put off the shirt. Wait, what? No. You put the first two into your closet and put the third one on. “Uuh.” he got your attention back and was trying to not make himself sound weird. “Do you...wanna watch a movie together?” his hands landed in the pockets of his sweatpants. “I just got the new Men in Black.” you smiled at him, “You wanna watch it here? Fewer people interrupting the movie.” This was going better than expected. “Sure. I never watched the originals tho,” he answered with a smile. “I only watched the first one. As a child. Was nauseous the whole week after that. Sometimes age restriction makes sense.” your little giggle at the end did something to him. He was watching you sit down on your giant marshmallow looking bed and grab your Playstation controller from the nightstand before he could push himself to move again. As he carefully sat down on the bed he heard your voice again “Friday, can you make the room a bit darker? Thanks.” “Are you comfortable?” you asked a minute later after giving him an extra blanket and selecting the movie on the screen. There was a soft nod as an answer and you grabbed the controller to press start. Every time there was a funny bit in the movie he glanced over to see your reaction. There was something very heartwarming to him about the way you laughed. He sometimes did this when you watched Brooklyn 99 and he had a bad day. You didn’t notice all of this, of course.   Towards the end of the movie, you were all wrapped up in blankets and laying on his arm. That also happened a lot when you had movie nights in the common area. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that this could be considered a date. “You’re like a giant teddy bear. I love it,” you mumbled cuddling yourself into his side a bit more. “You’re more of a human heated blanket.” he chuckled and you propped yourself up to look at him. “With this sweater? Definitely a blanket.” you giggled again. If you would continue with this he would be imploding soon. His tolerance for your giggles was awfully low and he definitely didn’t want to jump you and be a total creep. “Is everything okay?” you got him out of his trance, noticing that he was lost in thought. “Yeah. Um. Would you- I mean. Would you consider this a date?” he asked completely letting go of his serious facade just to see you get nervous. “Well, um. Yes?” you were unsure herself, internally screaming at the question. Did he just ask this or were you dreaming? “Because I’d like this to be one.” he smiled with the small reassurance of your agreement. “I’d like that too.” you gave him one of those rare soft smiles you never gave anyone before laying down on his chest again. His hands found their way to your hair and little strands of hair were wrapped around his metal one shortly after. “I love your hair,” he mumbled and felt your heart jump. “I love your hands,” you mumbled and he held them up to look at them. “Really?” Your head went up, “Yeah. You’re so gentle with them all the time. You might think they did a lot of bad things but I just...I like them.” Shy smiles were interchanged before he gained his voice back, “Would you let me take you on a proper date?” “Only if it involves pizza.” you grinned and got a loud laugh back. This was the beginning of the sweetest awkward love between two Avengers. ___

Agent 16 Masterlist

[159potterhead]

You want a poetry? I'm gonna give you the freaking poetry. Take your seat my love! (Since I need a headstart or a word to continue further and you didn't give any hint so I'll do on today's situation)

**takes the mic 🎤*** This one goes to that pretty girl with pretty eyes. I hurted her and I want to make up to her with something I wrote. I hope by the end of it she'll take me back. **Make some noise people!*** (As always the rap is without the break)

I must have sounded ridiculous,

When I got jealous,

Tho I never meant to cause all that fuss,

But baby you're my crush,

And it's only supposed to be us,

How would have I known it was just a bluff?

Everyone knows that you're a hot stuff and it's my fault I got into a rush, 'cause I thought there's a mistress that shall remain nameless, I was getting restless on seeing those flowers at our doorstep, I should have taken a backstep,

But in all seriousness,

I want to tell you you're my Love,

My beloved, you're my dove,

Hush! Hush! My baby! I'll give you a hug!

Oh! Please, don't you blush!

Do you wanna go to the club?

Just to try out my luck.

Believe me when I say I'm not a wuss,

Turns out I'm a thug,

But don't you worry cus I don't do drugs,

Maybe 'cause I only have a few bucks,

Can we buy a duck?

Coz I don't give a fuck,

We can chug at the mug,

Which reminds me I forgot to flush,

When I went to brush,

Because there was a bug,

On the rug,

So, I went with my gut,

And ended up with a cut,

While reading lot of smut,

Which drive me nuts!

(This one was not that good as the earlier ones coz I didn't made a lot of puns, I was busy making a bun for a nun who has to go on a run because of her son who has a gun which isn't fun)

You don't have to make it up for anything my love. I love you the way you are and I trust you 😘❤️ Although, I'm wondering why you asked about Spotify, were you planning to do Dean's top 13 Zepp traxx?? What was all that about 🤔🤔

I mean every relationship has ups and down yk. I hope our fans still ship us!

We're really doing the wedding? Huh? The virtual deancas one!! We can invite all your followers here. And throw a big party.

Like actual ability. I would maybe like to be more extrovert idk if that counts as ability. And for real ability I would like to learn any of ball room dance like tango or rumba those sort of dance. I always like the chemistry between two dancers and how they maintain the flow and their moves matches it's something magical. I also do like watching tap dancing. So I would love to have those skills.

What skills do you wish to have? (And do tell me about this poetry and rap)

that’s what I said. oh god, you’ll never let this go💀

wait what? I thought you were gonna write about how I hurt you. “I never even let you go in the first place to get you back!” I shout from the crowd, and everyone around goes “aaawww!”

okay... that is... something.... honestly I liked it a lot cause it’s so random😂😂 hell yeah we’ll get a duck!😂 baby you’re my crush😚 I liked that. I really did. thank you for those... random but delightful words. such a piece of poetry👩🏻‍🍳🤌🏼💋

(I love when you’re still caught up in the rhyming, it’s hilarious and cute!😂💞 but srsly someone stop that son with a gun)

that means a lot<3 and of course I would never do anything to make you actually jealous on purpose. oh yeah... behold: look what I made you 😏📼🎵

oh they better!

hmm... why don’t we just go somewhere quiet alone and get married by the beach or something. unless you do want the big ceremony?

oh yeah that does make sense. I AGREE!!! it’s so mesmerizing watching a pair dancing so in-sync with each other and flowing together so smoothly like the dance was made for just the both of them.

I guess we’ll skip the poetry and rap for this question ahah. I think i’d want to be fluent in like... four other languages, including sign language. and maybe archery🤔 i’ve always wanted to be an archer but you know how it is, ”okay we’ll sign you up for classes on your break.” then nothing happens for years and you just give up trying yk😃

🎶such a pretty face, on a pretty neck. she's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it, I'm kind of into it. it's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it🎶💕

[girlbookwrm]

AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH

it took us two entire days to watch this, back in whenever we were watching this. I’ve got a Bundle of Papers here in front of me, and the CW Bundle is by far the thickest, and that’s with minimal salt content.

Speaking of Salt: The Roommate and I had to approach this as an Avengers movie. Because otherwise the salt levels in this would be toxic, possibly fatal. Even so, ppl with high cholesterol be warned

LET’S DO THIS

1991!

Winter Soldier: 

what is this

what is this please

dat beef tho

what is this op sec

honestly

NO mask

SHINY FUCKOFF ARM just HANGING OUT

CCTV???

~ooooooo he’s a ghooooooooooooost~

he’s got an extremely dedicated and very harried cleanup crew is what he’s got

OH! OLD LOGO ILU!!!

LAGOS!!

The Roommate: That’s a lot of sugar

i ain’t judging

what, you think her powers run on optimism?

is there an accent? is there not? Shroedinger’s accent.

droney the drone

sam’s lil sky roomba

i love him

guhhhh this scene every line shows character and growth and i just *clenches fist*

did

did falcon just throw steve

just yeeted him at the enemy?

god i love that

also: has steve bulked up since TWS?

that’s also on Sam, yeah?

CUT THE CHEEEEECCCCK

is this fucking NEUROTOXIN? STEVE WHERE’S UR MASK?

Steve, throwing himself into a room full of an unknown poison gas without a mask: I bet i can survive this

Bucky, in Bucharest: *breaks whatever he’s holding without knowing why*

god i love sam

“I don’t work like that no more” Means ?????????????

PARKOUR NAT

is also BRUNCH MOM NAT

“both grunting” is always one of my favorite subtitles

2 white boys fighting in the middle of the street like it’s a video game

god someone took the murder strut to heart wow that is some. that is some something that’s for sure.

give me even one (1) heterosexual explanation for "your pal your buddy your bucky"

there’s no way that bucky ever said this, right? this is just Rumlow fucking with steve, and the screenwriters fucking with us

because IN CASE YOU WERE NOT IN THIS FANDOM IN 2016, WE ALL THOUGHT CAP WOULD DIE IN THIS MOVIE

WE WERE SO SURE

wow i wonder if that will be relevant to anyone’s emotions here in the year of our lordt 2019

anyway, what bucky actually said was:

“please tell rogers... that he’s a big dumb dildo and he should wear a gas mask and also a parachute.”

listen i love this opening scene but also wanda is not at all responsible for this explosion and the fact that they act like she is undermines my ability to suspend my disbelief.

DIGITAL ENYOUTHENMENT ALERT

also, tony the fact that you are using your literal dead mom as an actual therapist is

wow

BARF feels right to me

too real, tony

it’s too real

how ARE you getting around the strings and taxes tho

Also can i say that i actually love that Pepper’s absence is this profoundly important to the story. The hole where pepper should be is a huge part of this story and i like that. i like that a lot.

WOW THAT EXTRA IS LIKE A MASHUP OF NAT AND WANDA. SHE IS THE GENERIC MARVEL WHITE LADY

more a+ visual storytelling with the elevator

I’m just so mad that they blame wanda and play that straight?

all they had to do was outright acknowledge one (1) time that the media is picking on her because she’s a woman/a foreigner

imagine that speech coming from nat instead of steve

though i do love Steve’s pep talk

again. give me one (1) heterosexual explanation

though why not have Steve say “they’re just bullies, you did the right thing” and hearken back to smolsteeb

The Roommate: Remember how i was mad at his Oscars Velvet Blazer? I am also mad at this sweater.... it looks... so soft... i don’t know if i want it on him or off him... just wanna tuch....... and wear..........?”

Vision’s Ascot is. Something else man.

The Roommate: Why is ross secretary of state?

Me: Why is Trump President

Me: I bet Ross is vegan

the roommate, who has vegan-related trauma: UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH

Nat's reaction to vigilantes: Bitch please. she is Unbothered.

you don’t have to show us footage we’ve got the ptsd nightmares

400 pages in 3 days

[tired american sighing]

we honestly can’t even criticize this plot point anymore just

[my longest and most american sigh]

CLEVELAND!!!

hail hydra continues to be the Most Terrible last words

but WHY does ross have the congressional medal of honor

do you know how HARD it is to get one of those????

yeesh

sassy black friends sassing at each other

is definitely a

thing that is happening rn

Vision: Well Actually

no one cares, vis

ok like

a kid is dead but

3.6 is an okay GPA

maybe all my friends are overachievers

maybe it’s just because most of them are women but like

it’s an okay GPA

i’d have 8000% more respect for Tony if he was more upfront like “look this is on me” especially here

are we supposed to be picking all this up as subtext, actually?

because i know that this movie ALSO had a Troubled Youth ala ant man

and i really do appreciate the Russos for relying on a smart audience but there’s a lot going on

and it’s very obvious to me that they had to shift gears 18,000 times in the script writing phase

so like, you’ve got old man vet steve

but it’s painfully obvious that he missed vietnam right?

like

it’s painfully obvious

and he’s v egotistical and self righteous too 

it IS a battle of the egos

and no one is right

except natasha

Steve: i have to go

me: mood

LONDON!!!!

oh god

oh god no

steve god no steve oh god

gfhskfdjjjksjdjjhrrrrhrhhrhfhh [wailing and rending of garments]

Re Peggy’s age:

SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE

so the True Hallmark of a Cap Movie is Peggy telling steve what to do.

so weird to have that in an avengers movie

i do love this. GOOD BRO NAT CONTENT

Um. is vision a minor? is wanda?

again, nat is the only Correct one here

stay together guys

it might be

reeeeeeaaaaally important in 

*checks watch*

two years’ time.

~hug~

VIENNA!!!!!

CHAD WICK! CHAD! WICK! CHAD! WICK!

god i love the xhosa in this

There is a level of worldbuilding in this that we p much only get from the russos/markus&mcfeely. i mean -- internal consistency worldbuilding? if that makes sense? we get a lot of visual worldbuilding in black panther, but this is distinctly different and hard to articulate and it has to do with the way they approach things and how they assume audience intelligence

it just works for me

oh no chadwick boseman don’t be cry

Sharon deserves better

than being cockblocked by her own aunt

and also sam wilson (who also deserves better)

cryptid!bucky

Nat did you get that suit from jenny agutter?

LA Brunch Mom Nat

mah girl

she’s just so tired

steve (bless him) is just so exhausting

couples date sam and steve dressed to match

“at the gym”??? really? the arm is... a bit of a giveaway

i do feel bad for zemo in this one specific case

russian IS hard

how. did he get that in there?

Soft Plumboy Bucky

BEEF

Captain’s Log: Buck’s place is a shithole

Sergeant’s Log: Steve’s face is pretty

surprise bitch

“That’s Smart, Good Strategy” is an excellent phrase to use in everyday conversation in order to weed out who Knows and who Doesn’t.

What i have learned from civil war: 

Captain America is a projectile weapon

further query:

did bucky ever hurl small steve at assailants?

Bucky: *punts steve down an alley*

Steve, 90 lbs of rage at 90 mph: GET WRECKED

Bucky’s got big tommy wiseau cryptid energy here

And now there’s a cat

bucky:

I love this vampire running and also bucky’s thighs

Steve Rogers: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YEET.

Bucky Barnes: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YOINK.

Bucky and Steve: Wrecking your morning commute since 2014

WAR MACHINE!!!

god vis has the biggest dorkiest crush

so vis are you a child prodigy? or? what?

The Roommate, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure: vis have you eaten anything between CW and IW?

Me, sinnamon roll, not to be trusted: *dying* *thinking about how Vision’s got schroedinger’s dick. does it exist? does it not exist? who knows.*

Me: Y. Yes. I th. think he has. eaten something. between now and. and IW. something.

The Roommate: *betrayed look*

Me: DEEP FRIED KEBAB MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW.

The Roommate: *is so disappointed*

BERLIN!!!!!!

Bucky is. So tired. Let him rest.

fucking up the morning commute again i see

u like cats??

I love the ratio of overkill:ineffectiveness with this glass box they put him in.

why did tony  bring these fancy pens

the time spent explaining them could’ve been spent doing literally anything else

*i still don’t understand the accords*

GOD STEVE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD

“my fault”

there it is

“truth is i don’t want to stop”

THERE it is

“i thought the accords could split the difference”

THERE IT IS

"no, i don’t.”

THERE IT IS

“IT’S INTERNMENT.”

THERE! IT! IS!

gah.

wanda’s accent et al -- MAKE IT EXPLICIT MARVEL YOU COWARDS

no but really what are the accords

here followed a 20-30 minute convo about the accords

basically the summing up was:

Nat is 100% Right Ross is 100% Wrong Everyone Else is In A Grey Area

look this is actually a really good avengers movie

but

this is a moment when the back catalogue works against them because this conversation is so -- it implies a lot of friendly interactions between these two. they seem to have a relationship

but i keep looking at all the other movies they’ve interacted in like

BITCH WHERE? WHERE IS THE TONYSTEVE FRIENDSHIP? WHERE???

i am anticipating this will cause me A Grief later

The Roommate, looking at Steve in his Grey Shirt and Jacket: Damn, sir. Stop wearing clothes.

“BIRD COSTUME???”

“j a m e s”

big holt talking to rosa vibes there

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

A VAST AND MIGHTY MOOD

Zemo’s plan is so ridiculous i genuinely don’t have time to get into it i still have two pages of notes to get through holy shit.

this fight scene. does things. for me.

hhhHNNNNHGH BEEFSTEAK

(oh tony left with no suit? growth dot gif)

THIGHS

T H I G H S ! ! ! !

CHADWICK!

Sam out here, serving looks, casually modeling

B I C E P S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

TOO SEXY! *crashes helicopter*

I need twelve more scenes of steve and bucky faffing about in the water.

A more effective restraint than the custom made bucky bottle

(BRIEF 1991)

haaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAa biceps u stop that

Is Tony having a heart attack???

he has no concept of how to treat children because he never was one oh no i gave myself a sad feeling

QUEENS!!!!!!!

“I’m having a big fight in a parking lot with my superhero friends better go pick up a child as backup.” - tony stark

tony he doesn’t have a passport and if he understood what was happening he would not be on your side

Now That’s What I Call Vigilantism.

Why are you bringing a CHILD to a gun fight

Tony’s face, to me, suggests that he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing

also? it’s painfully obvious to me that these scenes were copypasted in late stage when they finally found out that yes they would have the rights to spiderman lol

for some reason they don’t feel the need to tell is that this is avengers compound in 400 point font

i’m so lost

where are we?

without the 400 point font i can only assume we are on mars

THAT’s a fine way to greet YOUR FATHER, WANDA

hawkeye is in fact the team lynchpin

is it

ugh

is it because they listen to him but he listens to natasha

ugh

i bet it is

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Vision: I have been FALLING! for THIRTY MINUTES!

“i know someone who does”

i’m confused by the cut here, because it seems to imply that Sharon, deliberately or inadvertently, rats them out to natasha?

Birds and raccoons do not get along

steve

steve no

steve

ur timing is shit steve

Scott Lang might be the best thing in this movie

well except for Dat Bone Structure

CUT THE CHEEEEEECK

*costume change in a parking lot to the yakkety sax soundtrack*

Thinking about the coming battle i am forced to concede that Iron Man Has A Point?

“do you really want to punch your way out of this?”

Steve: I ALWAYS wanna punch my way out

god scott’s such a fukkin nerd

tiny quibble but Scott “got punched by hope van dyne” lang would never say that to the black heckin widow

“gimmick”

um

people in falcon houses shouldn’t throw spider stones, samuel

wanda

those cars belong to people

oh god iron man has a point

LET’S GO LESBIANS! COME ON LESBIANS LET’S GO

*catfight sounds*

“then why did you run?”

dude you attacked me in a catsuit

Tony’s true superpower is that he knows steve, that’s how spiderbabby gets the upper hand

althought god

Tony was pre-gaslighting peter

he was pilotlighting peter

*my longest UGH yet*

“Queens?” “Brooklyn”

MAXIMUM NEW YORK ACHIEVED

ant man is the MVP

hmmmmmm “we don’t trade lives” HMMMMMMMMM

why did that truck explode

also *omg iron man has a point*

tony tedward stark how did you not know how old this child was

also peter stop pretending you don’t know what Empire Strikes Back, AT-ATs and Hoth are.

why doesn’t Vis get more flack for this

hey. hey tony. you know what sam is? A MEDIC. maybe let him LOOK AT YER FRIEND THERE instead of SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.

zemo’s plan is noooooonseeeeennnnnnsssse

guh these two beautiful men emoting in different directions KILL ME

this doctor is just like “yup there’s a giant purple robot here seems legit”

natasha is the only one who’s 100% right

did... did the russos kill themselves in this movie? did they cast themselves as dead extras? was this a statement of some kind?

HOW did ross get the congressional medal of honor. H O W.

“you read it”

NO ONE READ IT, IT’S 400 PAGES

tony this is Some Nonsense

ffflslkds he’s taking one of Nat’s guns KILL ME

one (1) heterosexual explanation.

rode back in a freezer truck

got pneumonia

already had pneumonia

and you blew three whole dollars on some slut

(seriously. gimme one. i’m waiting.)

srsly tho, whether you ship it or not, these two are old marrieds

the red star looks weird on his beefcake arm. did they forget to scale it up?

KITTY

listen zemo is just really turned on by cam and he didn’t mean to say that and that’s the most relateable thing he’s done so far.

It’s not just that bucky killed his mom. it’s that bucky killed his mom AND STEVE KEPT IT FROM HIM.

life alert a senior citizen has fallen

T'Challa, observing this White Nonsense™: I truly should... check myself. Before! I wreck myself.

agism is what it is

god this bit

steve dropping the shield

look at him

he is Stick A Fork In Him D O N E

Rhodey really deserves better than this? He deserves development showing the evolution of his opinion between here and IW

i wish we could get more of him grappling with this

that said

gosh wouldn’t it fucking suck if Cap and Bucky got relegated to End Credit scenes in their own got damn movie to make room for Iron Man to emote at his buddy his pal his rhodey?

*looks directly into the camera like i’m on the office.*

Anyway.

Steve rogers: getting the last word in every argument since 1918.

“from the bottom of my heart: My Bad.”

[zackmephisto]

dirt watches aew

ITS TIME BITCHEZ

stop i don't want to see this betrayal :(

mjf turned and now my depression is Worse i hate him i love him :(

JURASSIC EXPRESS AAAAAA

N Y L A YES OG MY GOD

i know I didnt hear yall boo nyla.

HANGMAN AND PAC REEEE

SCUUUUU REEEEE

M I S T E R M O X L E Y

:'''''(

STOP IM GONNA CRY KENNY NOOO

is it really nakazawa v mox. that's wild

mox looks good wtf?

STOP pulling the crazy shit dude. hes a good boy.

is he wrestling in pants bc his legs got fucked up or

that was weak. wtf ?

is it just bc hes still sort of hurt and they want to book him stronger than kenny?

o he speak

"you are one radical son of a bitch" how come he can say bitch but chuck cant say the s word

👀

damn yeah what's next for him. he really did fuck up kenny. who is next. I'm excited idc who is next like.... whoever it is they're gonna be working w the best of the best tbh

wait what the fuck why is it a championship match with sammy and chris and scu. why

cheer dark order and their gimp army you FUCKING cowards

T H E M!!!!!

GOD I LOVE MY CHILDREN STOP IM GONNA CRY MARKO WEARING THE MASK

THE MARKO CHANTS THANK YOU LORD

i have no more will to live now that marko ate the pin

STOP BEFORE I CRY FOR REAL

oH MY GOD LUCHASAURUS AAAA

luchasuarus said "back off my baby dinosaurs" and i respect that

hes obv still a little hurt tho you can see it in his movement

I STAN ONE DINOSAUR FAMILY

hmmm how come scu have to defend their championships every five minutes but chris jericho is always safe 🤔

gfys shawn spears

i'm a simple woman. i see shawn spears on my screen and I switch tabs

I constantly thank god for darby allin

Aubrey 😍😍😍😍

if darby loses i sue

JOEY!!!

uh. i mean. i mean. joey. big deal. who even cares about him and his braids and he smells anyway 😡

thank u darby i love you and definitely not joey...

DARBY AND JON WAIT STOP I CANT BREATHE OH MY GOD NO PLEASE THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN SCREEEEEE

I'm literally screeching darby vs mox??? NAME A MORE ICONIC DUO

ya'll have a crowd full on transphobes huh

darby vs mox tho this is so goddamn exciting

SO excited oh my god who is nyla fighting !!

who??

people really are such big transphobes that they're cheering someone who hasn't had a match yet. i hate straighties

thank you queen I love you

get well soon dad i miss u :(

i feel like i should know her by sight but i don't

o i remember her. i like her merch

shes annoying

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

AWESOME KONG AND BRANDI MY SKIN IS CLEARING AS I SPEAK

perish, blonde woman

god i love this. i LOVE THIS

if mjf joins the inner circle i want it to be known right now at 5:56 pm that i will Still Stan. okay. i stood w baron corbin through it all. i'll stand by mjf through it all.

every time some one swears on aew and it's not chuck taylor i lose six months of my life

OH?!?!?!

HELLO MAX I LOVE YOU GOOD MORNING MY SWEET SCARF SON

he's handsome no one @ me ever again

i lov u asshole love you so much

LOVE YOUUUU

NO I LOVE YOU I'M NOT UPSET I LOVE YOU

expose him Max EXPOSE HIM

max 😍😍😍😍😍

I believe every word you've ever said ever

max is right stop SAYING MEAN THINGS TO HIM

THIS MAN IS HURT MAY I HUG HIM

max STOP I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

AND WHAT A HANDSOME NEW FACE IT IS

YES YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM AND I DO KNOW IT

wake up sheeple max is RIGHT

"my third or fourth installment" go off king.. go off......

sigh. I didnt want to do this. but i'm gonna have to stan.

or not?

MAX SAID A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY AND I IMMEDIATELY GOT UP TO GRAB THE CHAMPAGNE I SAVED FOR THIS EXACT SITUATION

ok thank god i dont have to stan the inner circle

thanks max i love you

HE IS HANDSOME ITS TRUE

ok... maybe that was funny. but I still love max

dont do this Max I dont want to stan

this is making me laugh hella hard dncnsndj

I LOVE THE HUG

cody man come on just let me have my max in peace

sigh

cmon Maxwell let's go

who?

wardlow I see

ok. I stan if he likes max

@ Maxwell Jacob Friedman choke me like that d*ddy

good morning it's been an hour and I've had four mikes and am on my fifth i'm drunk and in love with mjf

cowboy 😍😍😍😍😍

wait please don't let hangman lose I dont want to see him sad anymore

pac is fucking. more than human. I love him too

COW👏BOY👏SHIT👏

"i'm shocked by pac's leg strength" me 2 bud. those legs? i'm always shocked. hes so ripped his muscles have muscles

BASTARD SHIT LMFAOO HOW THE TURNS HABE TABLED

COWBOY STOP MAKING THESE NOISES I FEEL NSFWORK

yall are going to commercial in the middle of this match? disgostang. guess its valid bc this alcohol is going right thru me but. >:(

so Twitter says luchasaurus is actually Back back I'm really really happy abt that I missed dinosaur father

i finished going to the bathroom and sat down and it came back on clearly this is dirt rights

hangman and pac didnt get up for a second and I was Ben Affleck w cigarette. jpeg for a second thinking abt pac vs moxley

thank u for being a good bean mr ref bryce

:(((((((((((((((((((((

suing aew for emotional distress

JESUS matt Jackson

OH MY GOD AAAAAA ORANGE IVE NEVER LOVED A MAN MORE

literally I love orange cassidy more than i love myself

I'd be more exciting for this bucks/proud n powerful moment if orange cassidy wasn't on screen for two (2) seconds. His Impact

aew refs are my new mandatory kin

dont hurt Brandon Cutler hes a good boy

:(

thank god for private party

proud n powerful vs private party is dirt rights

me: :l

scu: SCUUUUU

me: :)

oh yeah btw my onion on scu officially changed i love them officially

SCU SAYS FUCK NASHVILLE BUT I LOVE WRESTLING FANS AND REALLY THATS CALIFORNIANS IN A NUTSHELL, I CAN CONFIRM, BEING CALIFORNIAN

i'm DRUNK thank god for autocorrect

why is sammy not vlogging. is he okay. does he have a fever

anyway if scu loses i'm suing again

jericho, a few weeks ago: WHO WEARS A SCARF

Jericho, today: wears a scarf tonight and talks abt scarfs today

judas FUCKS one of my fave songs of all time tbh

sammy guevara is like. 12. stop hip thrusting, child

kaz, my angel. I love you. so much

sammy: I GOT EM, DAD. I GOT EM

I love sammy BUT he better eat this pin so hard hes still tasting it next week

almost started filing my aew lawsuit when scorpio sky almost got pinned

I love how effective and strong the thesz press is. so wild. thank u mr sky

oh thank fuck. thank FUCK that pin wasn't complete

PLEASE MR SKY

THANK YOU MR SKY

SCU BEAT INNER CIRCLE SO NO ONE EVER TALK SHIT ABT CALIFORNIANS EVER AGAIN

unless ur californian. in which case ur allowed

scorpio sky being the first person in aew to pin Jericho is California Rights

that was a wonderful show. orange cassidy was there so it was 10/10. everyone say thank u aew

[horrordirtbag]

freddy vs jason appreciation hours

This gon be a long ass post, summary at the bottom

Okay so basically this movie gets shidded the fuck on and y’know what I think too harshly. I think it did an amazing job bringing all of our slasher wet-dreams to life. And that’s one thing I really wanna stress throughout my incoherent internet rambling: bringing to life our fantasy. Cuz, y’see, I used to think this movie was garbo like many others, until like 4 years ago when I was watching it during a Halloween marathon, and I looked up from my computer and just saw Freddy and Jason, two of my favorite characters of all time, on the same screen together, beating the living shit out of each other. All my issues with it just kinda melted away and I really appreciated what I was looking at, and since then it climbed from the bottom of my list to easily in my top 5 for both franchises.

The fact that this movie even got made is a miracle. I’m just grateful that we even got to see this match brought to life at all. Just overcoming the rights issue between two major companies was a major hurdle to cross. Once that was settled, they could have just slapped together any shitty old movie they wanted and made a gazillion bucks no matter what. The title alone, Freddy vs Jason, would sell tickets, even if the actual movie was just two hand puppets smacking eachother for an hour and a half. But, no. New Line acquired the rights to Jason around 1992, and they immediately began work on the crossover. The only reason they made Jason Goes to Hell was because they had to wait for Wes Craven to finish New Nightmare first. That’s 11 years of development hell. They went through 10 scripts before they found one they liked, not to mention an innumerable amount of pitches. That’s an incredible amount of effort for a cheap slasher film. They spent thousands on the project before it even went into pre-production. Michael De Luca, the president of production at New Line, was an extreme fan of both franchises and really wanted to get it right.  New Line Cinema get’s a lot of flack for it’s treatment of the Friday franchise, and yeah, when you send Jason up his sisters coochie and into outerspace I can see why, but after reading more into the companies history with Jason, I don’t get the impression it was all cynicism. Even if you think the final product is dookie, you gotta give them some credit for the amount of dedication they put in for this project. And, you gotta remember, even though they produced far better films, Paramount was pretty much ashamed of their creation and ditched it as soon as it began making them less money.

Now I’m gonna talk about some of the actual problems with the movie itself. The main two are also both directed at our maggot-infested son. If you’re as much of a raging fan as I am to the point where you write essays for like 10 people to read on a website that hates tiddies you already know what I’m talking about. Let’s start with the fear-of-water debacle. This part pisses off the Friday camp, and for good reason. Any quick look at the past 10 movies shows you it’s just not true. Jason practically exists in water. He’s like the human version of Godzilla. But, in reality, Jason was never afraid of water in the movie. The screenplay writers have confirmed that it wasn’t a fear of water itself, but of drowning. And, well, we know that Jason shouldn’t be afraid of that either, being chained to the bottom of a lake for years on end’n all. But, even then, it’s not quite that simple. What Freddy is doing is exploiting Jason’s subconscious mind and the memory of the last time Jason ever felt fear: when he was a child, drowning. This is why Jason reverts back to a child, and then Freddy returns to the memory of his drowning in 1957. Ronny Yu went a much more metaphoric route in portraying this, but you can still kind of make it out. If you notice, even Jason seems surprised at his sudden refusal to chop through the stream of water. It’s not like he didn’t see it before he pulled his arm back. And, then, immediately after, we see Jason wading through Crystal Lake dragging a body, and at the end of the movie raises out of the water in New Blood fashion. So, it’s clear that even in the same movie, Jason was never intended to be afraid of water. Now, let’s talk about our gift-from-god Kane Hodder. As much as I love the final film, I hate how New Line treated our star man. This is the one thing I can’t really defend about the movie. No one still really knows why Kane was dropped, everyone involved just pointing fingers at each other, probably because whoever really did make the decision is afraid of Kane’s tree trunk arms. Even Sean Cunningham and other people deeply involved with the project were shocked they didn’t use Kane. For my two cents, I don’t think it’s one person or one specific reason to point to, but rather a whole bunch. In large part, I think Ronny Yu not being a fan of the franchise prior has a lot to do with it. He just didn’t realize that Kane was so beloved by the fanbase. Ken Kirzinger said that he initially auditioned to be stunt coordinator, and Ronny immediately asked him to play Jason, saying something around the lines of “you’re exactly what I’m looking for.” I can see why New Line would want someone with no connection to the franchises, as to bring in a fresh take, but for something like this, which is pretty much just a fanboy movie, it would have been better to grab someone who was also a fan. As to why New Line didn’t tell Kane Hodder they were going with someone else, I dunno. We probably will never know who was responsible for that lol. As disappointing as it is, I think Ken did a fine job (although I think he was a little too stiff), and I don’t think we should dismiss the entire film for it alone. This post is getting way longer than I anticipated. If you’re still here, hi, I hope your day is going well. Those art the only complaints, though, of course. Something I hear often is that the final fight is fantastic, but the rest of the movie sucks. I can’t really argue with that since it’s really vague, but I can say that, to me, the rest of the movie is great fun. Even if Freddy only has one kill, he has plenty of screen-time, all pretty good (and the one kill he does get in is great). And Jason’s stuff is all great too. The cornfield rave, the hospital chase, all good shid imo. But really that just comes down to personal taste.   Another thing I can’t really argue about are the characters being bland. Yeah, not much to say there. But honestly, I don’t think they’re terrible by any means (Kia dropping the f-bomb is tho). I have a feeling this complaint comes more from the Nightmare camp, since that series is home to much more compelling characters. Being more of a Friday fan, it just doesn’t bother me. 11 movies in, I’m used to bland characters lmao. Although, I do think Mark was a pretty interesting character. His relationship with his brother is pretty great.  One strange phenomenon I also see is that Freddy fans tend to complain that it feels too much like a Friday the 13th movie, while Jason fans say it feels too much like A Nightmare on Elm Street movie. And it’s not just me, either; this is also discussed briefly in Dustin McNeill’s fantastic book Slash of the Titans: The Road to Freddy vs Jason. If anything, this just feels like a testament to how well the movie blended the tones of both franchises.  The movie does also get too silly at times, but I think they did a decent job of reigning Freddy’s goofiness back to, I’d say, Nightmare 4 levels. Which is alright by me. nOW ONTO THE GOOD SHIT, We’re almost there. I swear. As I just mentioned, the movie masterfully blends both franchises. The movie has the plot of a Nightmare film, with Freddy pulling the strings, but has the bodycount (and characters lol) of a Jason film. Just because the plot is very Freddy oriented doesn’t mean Jason is left in his shadow, and just because Jason gets most of the kills doesn’t mean Freddy doesn’t get his time to shine either (the movie has plenty of Nightmare sequences, even if he only kills one). Complaints about Freddy only getting one kill are odd to me, since that’s the entire point of the movie. Jason is stealing Freddy’s kills. The ending, really, symbolizes what I mean. It’s the best possible way to end it. Jason rises from the water, holding Freddy’s head, making you think he’s the victor, but- nope! Freddy winks at the camera, and then the Nightmare jingle plays, mixed in with Jason’s iconic ki ki ki ma ma ma, perfectly balancing both franchises.  I’ve seen people complain about the ending, but I honestly think it’s genius. If you had Jason win, Friday fans would be mad; if you had Freddy win, Nightmare fans would be mad. Instead, not only is it really cool, but with the ending we got, the viewers themselves are allowed to decide who won, no answer being particularly wrong. To this day, people still debate who came out victorious.  Beyond that, the plot itself is such a great way to bring both characters together. Previous scripts had such convoluted ways of doing so, some involving the Apocalypse, some going meta like New Nightmare, and some just making no fucking sense at all. The Shannon/Swift draft does such a great job of keeping it simple. I love the idea of Springwood covering up Freddy’s existence, rendering him powerless. Not only is it the closest anyone’s ever gotten to actually defeating Freddy, but it also presents to the viewer a complex moral dilemma. Locking the kids away in Westin Hills is horribly cruel, unable to even see their family, but at the same time, if they didn’t, more kids would die at Freddy’s hand. To me, it’s really interesting.  The final thing I have to say, is that it’s just a boat load of fun. You can’t not have a fan orgasm watching the final battle (although they really shouldn’t have had Laurie interrupt the fight). It’s literally everything I ever wanted lmao, and I’m just eternally grateful that we got to see this match play out on our screens rather than just our minds before Robert Englund got too old. Again, seeing two of my favorite characters ever on the same screen is just awesome. In my opinion, I think it’s the best crossover-versus movie out there.  Some people just don’t like the movie and that’s fine, you can’t please everyone. I’m just dishing out why I love it so much, since it’s so vastly regarded as one of the worst of the series. You don’t see too much love out there for it, so I thought I’d spice it up.  TL:DR, I think this movie was such a wonderful love letter to the fans, and while it’s far from perfect, I think people really need to give it a second chance and look at it from a different perspective. It wasn’t made cynically, it wasn’t disrespectful to Jason, and it did a great job of bringing our fanboy and fangirl fantasies to life.

[zoesrose]

TEXTS; ZOE & YAS

pt.2 - January 2021 - March 2021

JANUARY 2021

yasmin puckerman

How your sub legs doing?

zoe rose

It's fine.

yasmin puckerman

If I was you I'd be like iT's fINe wHAT??

but i'm not doing you like that, don't worry

zoe rose

that was funny

but i'm not calling you Miss

but i suppose this week, you are free to call me Zoe

or any other nicknames you're been wanting to use

yasmin puckerman

oh shit

I'm gonna have to think on that.

zoe rose

no rush, I have a feeling this week is just going to drag

yasmin puckerman

It's not all that bad. Bet you could have fun with it.

zoe rose

i doubt it

yasmin puckerman

You already got a nickname from me

zoe rose

What's that?

yasmin puckerman

you got other people callin you Sir?

zoe rose

No, but I'm not sure if I would call that a nickname

yasmin puckerman

petname

zoe rose

A petname insinuates complete freedom, you have to use a title with me

yasmin puckerman

switch up got you splitting hairs

zoe rose

It does have me on edge

yasmin puckerman

you're still gonna be the same you on the other side maybe know a little more what it's like to be me is all and Marley

zoe rose

Thank you.

Sir.

yasmin puckerman

good girl tight Goodnight Zoe.

zoe rose

What's bothering you?

yasmin puckerman

Just got that feeling. You know when you gotta get control, let off steam some of the healthy ways

zoe rose

I understand that feeling all too well.

If you find that you need to (leaf) (smoke) just let me know and I'll come to you.

yasmin puckerman

always take that offer

zoe rose

I'll be right over then

yasmin puckerman

dope

zoe rose

Are you busy tonight?

yasmin puckerman

Free as a bird.

zoe rose

Would you like to accompany me to the club? I need to let loose.

yasmin puckerman

Hell yeah. Let's do that.

yasmin puckerman

so the smight flub babes... creepy fetish murders or regular type masochists what you think?

zoe rose

I think it's the latter.

yasmin puckerman

Me too. They had a chill vibe. I’m guaranteed to like anyone that complements my right hook tho so I trust your judgement more, Sir.

zoe rose

You do have a nice right hook. It's too bad you didn't get to see mine.

yasmin puckerman

I jumped too soon. I know, I know Froggy and I am not sorry

But if we hit up their spot, that should facilitate that.

zoe rose

I'm going to add a

next to your name in my phone

Is it something you want to check out?

yasmin puckerman

thanks I hate it Yeah I think it is. What’s the worst that could happen right? If its shit we’ll leave.

zoe rose

I won't, don't worry.

If we're going to do this, I want to establish some rules first.

yasmin puckerman

You said rules and my stupid ass got horny tf But I agree. I think. What type of rules?

zoe rose

Rules for your safety.

1. You will stay in my sight at all times. 2. When I say stop, that means stop. 3. When/if I say it's time to go, there will be no questions asked. 4. When/if you say it's time to go, I will escort you out, no questions asked.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah I’m down. What about if you lose your shit, could we drop rank? Hold up do you ever lose your shit? I can’t see it now that I think about it.

zoe rose

I never lose my shit. I've been described as apathetic on more than one occasion.

yasmin puckerman

I could see it. Aight bet. Got you, Sir. Looks I got plans next Sat night

zoe rose

I'd like to make it a habit to dress you whenever we're together. If that's alright with you.

yasmin puckerman

Whenever we going out somewhere or whenever whenever I’m with you?

zoe rose

The latter is tempting, but we'll stick to the first one for now

yasmin puckerman

I’m cool with that. Had me looking good on that yacht

zoe rose

You did look good.

yasmin puckerman

Speaking of parties and next Friday, the Sylvesters are having a birthday thing. Open bar. You wanna be my escort?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

dope.

zoe rose

Apparently someone put my phone number up in the girls bathroom somewhere on campus.

yasmin puckerman

You be hitting to good. They tryin to share tips

zoe rose

It’s irritating.

yasmin puckerman

You getting a lot of takers?

zoe rose

Just one was too many, so yes.

yasmin puckerman

did you at least have then send pics? Seems like a waste.

zoe rose

You and I both know that's not how I operate.

yasmin puckerman

True. You busy rn? I’m on my way to my brother but tryin to

quick.

zoe rose

No.

yasmin puckerman

cool. can I meet you somewhere?

zoe rose

I'm behind the cafeteria.

yasmin puckerman

omw

zoe rose

(thumbs up)

zoe rose

How's your hand?

yasmin puckerman

purple

zoe rose

It's been a few days, you should have someone look at it.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah that's probably true. Oh shit you know what, I was recently told there's wholeass free medical services on this campus.

zoe rose

I want to know the outcome when you do see someone.

It's amazing what opportunities are afforded to the rich, hm?

yasmin puckerman

Got you. Just set something up for tomorrow morning. At least little ol' me caught up in the benefits. I wonder if I can find a hook up for chiropractor visits

zoe rose

Good girl.

This certainly seems like the type of place that would have something like that. I'm sure if you get a referral from the school any place in town will take it

yasmin puckerman

damn that was new in text form. read the notif off my home screen.

zoe rose

Good or bad?

yasmin puckerman

good. better in person but that's usually cause you're literally fucking me when you say it. it's my performance skills. crushing it.

zoe rose

What are your thoughts on trying something a little more domestic?

yasmin puckerman

Like what?

zoe rose

Household chores, kneeling, things like that.

yasmin puckerman

you know, chores are actually hella unimportant to submission

zoe rose

It's not about the chores.

yasmin puckerman

We could try it out.

zoe rose

That's all I'm asking for.

yasmin puckerman

Aight, you got it.

zoe rose

Thank you.

yasmin puckerman

So I was talking to your sister idk to be encouraging about the switch thing and practicing

Now she's cooking Monday night and I think I'm washing her dishes I know I don't gotta tell you that but

zoe rose

Thank you for telling me.

FEBRUARY

yasmin puckerman

You and me tomorrow right?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

dope. I’m gonna wrap my hands this time.

zoe rose

We can wrap each other's hands.

yasmin puckerman

how romantic

zoe rose

is that what the kids are considering romantic these days?

yasmin puckerman

the kids?

lol okay grandma

zoe rose

I thought it was funny

yasmin puckerman

trust me it was  

hold up, before i get called out trust me it was, Sir.

zoe rose

i'm glad i was able to make you laugh

yasmin puckerman

you know it don't take much you gonna be dressing me?

zoe rose

Yes.

And we're going to apply Vaseline on our faces, necks, and wrists.

yasmin puckerman

the ol vaseline trick, getting serious

zoe rose

It's better to be prepared.

yasmin puckerman

I can’t wait. I like seeing you like that. Badass and focused.

zoe rose

I think I might actually step into the ring tonight.

yasmin puckerman

Really?

zoe rose

I can’t let you have all the fun.

yasmin puckerman

Now I def can't wait.

zoe rose

Why’s that?

yasmin puckerman

I finally get to see if the bark matches the bite.

zoe rose

I see. I suppose you'll see tonight.

yasmin puckerman

How’s your eye?

zoe rose

Fine. The swelling is down and it’s fading.

yasmin puckerman

That’s good. Must have been my magic touch and them peas.

zoe rose

Your magic touch, huh?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah I am the baddest chick Shorty you don't believe me, then come with me tonight and I'll show you maaagic what what

zoe rose

♫ i got the magic stick ♪♬

yasmin puckerman

You getting in the ring again this weekend?

zoe rose

Yes. Are you?

yasmin puckerman

I might just watch you go a few rounds because a, that shit was sexy af and b, hands been fucking twinging so I should probably actually give it a minute. Tired of rubbing it out in the morning with my left hand

zoe rose

Come over in the morning. Give your left hand a rest.

yasmin puckerman

don't gotta tell me twice

zoe rose

You're missing something.

yasmin puckerman

my fault Yes, Sir

zoe rose

Good girl.

A blunt and some pussy, I can't imagine a better way to wake up.

yasmin puckerman

already know tomorrow bout to be a good day.

(smile blush) (alien)

zoe rose

liked this message

yasmin puckerman

I'm not trying to come rat a g

yo your sister just asked me to fu

it's nbd but your

you hear that one girl yesterday saying how next week is the last fight club?

zoe rose

Yes. Did you ever find out why?

yasmin puckerman

sounded like whoever funds the space is done vacationing here. do you be forgetting we are legit on a whole ass island surrounded by people with bucks. people do drop a lot in the shop but I swear I forget sometimes

zoe rose

That makes sense. Trust me, I'm constantly reminded of it.

yasmin puckerman

guess I just don't pay enough attention

zoe rose

I think it's just always something that's stood out to me. Other people being able to afford what I couldn't.

yasmin puckerman

Now we're slumming it on someone's yacht every other weekend I'm gonna miss the saturday set up tho

zoe rose

What do you think you're going to miss the most?

yasmin puckerman

besides watching you kick ass? it just feels good. Letting shit out. adrenaline I guess.

zoe rose

Yes, it was the same for me.

What if we started something like that here on campus?

yasmin puckerman

like do our own? for real?

zoe rose

Yes, why not?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah house makes bank on books

zoe rose

The real question is: how do we invite people and still keep it a secret?

yasmin puckerman

if i'm gonna be brainstorming, i gotta be high for that

zoe rose

I think you're about to ask me something, so I'll just wait for it.

yasmin puckerman

if I just knock, does that count as asking?

zoe rose

No.

yasmin puckerman

you tryin to smoke? Sir?

zoe rose

Try again.

yasmin puckerman

do you want to smoke with me, Sir?

zoe rose

That's better, thank you. The door's open.

yasmin puckerman

You have time to chill tomorrow, Sir?

zoe rose

I was actually going to ask you the same thing.

yasmin puckerman

Oh so you was thinking about me

zoe rose

You say that like it's not something I would readily admit.

yasmin puckerman

Not gonna say I don't like hearing it confirmed.

zoe rose

I don’t mind confirming it from time to time.

yasmin puckerman

Loving the family time but, i'm trying to get away for a little bit if you know what I mean

zoe rose

I've just been in my room. Come over.

yasmin puckerman

Yessir. Already grabbed 2 cans of orange.

zoe rose

liked this message

yasmin puckerman

at least this was a good week to go smight flub-less. we still chillin tho?

zoe rose

My sister is coming over tonight, but you're free to join us.

yasmin puckerman

oh damn, I can't I need your sister thinking I'm too busy r that cool I don't wanna get all in on your time together.

zoe rose

Alright. Are you free tomorrow?

yasmin puckerman

as a bird in spring

zoe rose

I'm going to assume that means yes. I'm thinking a beach day, how do you feel about that?

yasmin puckerman

sounds dope. for a person at a school surrounded by beaches I never really hit it up. Never been a beach person

zoe rose

We'll change that tomorrow then.

yasmin puckerman

cool as long as we involve food

zoe rose

I'll have Marley make us something before she leaves in the morning.

yasmin puckerman

want me to bring sum from the toy collection, Sir?

zoe rose

Yes. It's not like me but, surprise me.

yasmin puckerman

yeah, it's hello not but, bet I got us

zoe rose

See you then.

yasmin puckerman

(peace) (alien)

MARCH

zoe rose

Do you have plans on Saturday?

yasmin puckerman

nah, I save em for yo

Nope.

zoe rose

How about Friday night and Sunday?

yasmin puckerman

you making me sound lonely af rn No, none plans. I've just been working tryin to catch up a little after taking days off with my mom here. But I have Sat off and I never work Sun

zoe rose

I want to have your whole weekend.

Please.

yasmin puckerman

in a you wanna tie me up kind of way or a that date you wanted type thi?

zoe rose

In an I would like your company for a full weekend type of way. Scenes and... just hanging out.

yasmin puckerman

Ok dope, I'm in I get off work at 7 on Friday.

zoe rose

Excellent. Consider these orders. From 7pm Friday to 7am Monday morning.

yasmin puckerman

you got it, Sir.

zoe rose

loved this

yasmin puckerman

finished that flyer. Imma make copies at work today

zoe rose

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

yasmin puckerman

maybe I can get some thrown up tonight on the low after you get a look at it

zoe rose

I'll come with you.

yasmin puckerman

dope

zoe rose

These new deans are something else, hm?

yasmin puckerman

I legit had to look bc someone asked me about new rules I’m

zoe rose

I'd rather not tempt fate. Let's find a venue off campus.

yasmin puckerman

whatever you say boss

zoe rose

I'll ask my connect what he knows.

yasmin puckerman

it was only a matter of time before this school tried somethin to put it’s program students in their place. Not here for it. But also can’t catch me giving a shit about a legacy status They can go on, I’m chillin

zoe rose

I've been expecting this as well. Doesn't even phase me when they pull the status card.

yasmin puckerman

the less I think about it the less likely I am to get pissed so, best for everyone

zoe rose

I should be back with Marley soon. Would you like something to eat?

yasmin puckerman

imma be honest, the answer is yes but also I raided your snack stash already Those sweet chili Doritos are

zoe rose

Those weren't mine.

yasmin puckerman

oh shit, then I owe ya roomie a bag of chips

zoe rose

I'm bringing tacos from that place you like.

yasmin puckerman

yesss How did you know I was craving tacos? Damn that just gave me a boner

zoe rose

I had a hunch, I suppose.

zoe rose

How are you feeling today?

yasmin puckerman

Good. I’m tight. No welts or anything.

zoe rose

And your headspace?

yasmin puckerman

Fine. I’m fucking fabulous today. And yesterday. I was fine on Saturday.

zoe rose

Okay, good.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah solid

zoe rose

Are you still up?

yasmin puckerman

Yeah

zoe rose

Come over?

yasmin puckerman

I would but I did a scene and I can’t leave.

zoe rose

Alright.

yasmin puckerman

Look, I was feeling some type of way and I needed to switch it up so You good?

zoe rose

Yes, why wouldn't I be?

yasmin puckerman

Idk It’s a perfectly valid question. You asked, I can. I mean, you didn’t right now but you did

zoe rose

I asked because it's my job as the Dominant to check in on your after an intense scene.

yasmin puckerman

fuck off and Dominants don’t? Damn, wait that came out fast I’m having a whole day. I meanT. Dominant’s need aftercare too

zoe rose

My aftercare was having you spend the night with me and keeping you close.

yasmin puckerman

Ok good wtf are you making me explain me asking how you are? I feel like I’m tripping

zoe rose

You just asked like something else was wrong with me. I misunderstood.

yasmin puckerman

oh my bad I don’t know why I’m so fucking touchy right now I switched my birth control so maybe I’m hormonal

zoe rose

I would like to see you when you're next free.

yasmin puckerman

Tomorrow?

zoe rose

Tomorrow night you're staying with me. These are orders.

yasmin puckerman

good call official orders for the new rules Yessir

zoe rose

liked this

yasmin puckerman

You coming by right? I picked up on my way home from work.

you wanna taste it?

zoe rose

Say less. Yes, I'm coming over. Damn you look good.

yasmin puckerman

It's GG4 and  

And I'm wet so, please hurry?

zoe rose

Please hurry, what?

yasmin puckerman

please come get your tongue on me, Sir? I had a DAY. Got you a blunt rolled already and my legs open

zoe rose

That's better. I'll be right over.

yasmin puckerman

are you busy?

zoe rose

No.

yasmin puckerman

I need your help with something

zoe rose

Try that again.

yasmin puckerman

fuck yo for real not right n

I need your help with something please

no, damn. do I really have to do this when its an emerg

Can you help me with something, Sir?

Look I gotta slip out right now or I'm gonna be locked out. I tried to do it myself but I can't fucking get it and I'm gonna lose my shit if I have to deal with this all night. And there's only so many ppl I trust if it can't

zoe rose

Come over.

yasmin puckerman

thank god ok I'm running.

yasmin puckerman

h ey

zoe rose

Having a good night?

yasmin puckerman

I did but I could be having a bett er 1

zoe rose

And how's that?

yasmin puckerman

yeah caus imma need your assistannce i'm gonna fall in the tub

zoe rose

What are you doing?

yasmin puckerman

mmmmmm busy being busy I was think in abt you

zoe rose

Are you touching yourself, Yasmin?

yasmin puckerman

oooooh full namin me you're so cute

zoe rose

That doesn't answer my question.

yasmin puckerman

don't you wanna sho w me how no cute you are or sum?'

zoe rose

Seems like you're still missing something.

yasmin puckerman

porn.gif

can you com  over so I can ride you, please sir?

zoe rose

I'll be right over.

yasmin puckerman

goodgirr (blushsmile x2)

[hoodnaito]

the story of HIROMU HATERS *gun sounds* *flex bombs*

SURGICAL SUMMER.

LOS INGOBERNABLES WORLD DOMINATION.

You’ve got El Idolo y Zelina. Singlehandedly landed the big money deal for Smackdown just because they were added to the roster. THAT’S A BILLION DOLLAR COUPLE.

Then you’ve got RUSH who will main event the biggest Mask vs. Hair main event since...well...okay therewasthatpsychoclowndrwagnerjuniormatchbut THERE WAS NO SWAG in that match and Triplemania was TRASH. Vampiro was a SIDEKICK with his own show. *flex bomb*

Back to Rush tho, LA BESTIA DEL RING and TERRIBLE are once again headlining Arena Mexico packed to the rafters to see Los Ingobernables cash out a legend, L.A. Park. Crazy how everyone knows the eventual outcome but still question if L.A. Park will go through with this. Shoot, CMLL has this bag SECURED. L.A. Park has the whole family coming through getting a payday getting to look good next to the best stable in Mexico. *kicks an invisible football across the office* *admires it’s sail across the office*

So then there’s Naito, who’s going to make his journey into the G1 going ESPALDA CON ESPALDA (get used to it, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr) by stepping over the washed sucka ass CHRISTOPHER JERICHO. CHRISTOPHER JERICHO followed orders from angry god Kevin Owens and went back to New Japan after failing to win the GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE to be held under an oppressive regime. So CHRISTOPHER JERICHO decides to come at the set? really? Making cute ass bootlegs like you live at the swap meet. You thot. Wearing fashionova to New Japan press conferences, I saw you doggy. Naito’s coming away with an easy win. I hope that IC belt is in Yoshitatsu’s crib. Then you have EVIL and SANADA who made Beatlemania look like the common cold. Europeans of every accent mumbled something unintelligible before fainting at the feat of the best tag team in the world. *gun sounds* yeah young bucks, get ready for that fight. You can’t just come through with the wild superkick and think you’re gonna be champs just like that. Better recognize kid, The set is keeping those titles. Done deal.

BUSHI? My guy, what an effort. You beat Ospreay so at least there’s a title shot waiting for you. Nothing to be ashamed of. There’s riches for you yet in the junior tag division.

Let’s talk about Hiromu. I see all of you on twitter talking that head just ASSUMING KUSHIDA is going to sail on through to the finals. *sigh* *drinks fiji water* *contemplates* You forgot one thing.

D.

Hiromu has adopted a nasty effective triangle choke that will catch that marty mcfly wanna be and send Hiromu into the finals LIKE I SAID HE WOULD against Taiji Ishimori. I predict that this will be the juniors match that sets the damn standard in the division. It doesn’t have to be crazy like Hiromu/Dragon Lee, it doesn’t have to be a Zack Sabre Jr. match, but it’s gonna be tough, it’s gonna be hype and you’re gonna see a thing or two you haven’t expected. Trust me when I say go ahead and give all of your energy to Hiromu Takahashi to beat KUSHIDA and then again to be Taiji Ishimori. Do it and I will bless you with the best Dominion you will ever see. After party at the House of Chicken and Waffles in Jack London Square. I’ve never seen so many people go out of their way to praise such a washed album by Kanye. I put on “Black Skinhead” when I need to kick the doors in and make shit happen. “Heard Em Say” is my favorite song. I love Kanye and know more about Kanye than 99% of the people who follow up my criticism with “oh, but are you a fan, or...” listen, I’m a Kanye historian. Respect your OG. This Kanye album in terms of music is funny because Kanye will never lose the ability to use vocals, music and funny lyrics to create an enjoyable vibe. But! Does that make it a good song? Take “I Thought About Killing You” for instance. The second half of the track has this serious Suicideyear type vibe that kanye hits a few licks off of and it’s a cool sensation, it’s a cool sound. But this isn’t something you’d think the guy who made “Late” or “Flashing Lights” would put out in the world. The theme goes on throughout the album. Lots of almost or good enough to make your headnod, but it’s certainly not worth all of the hype people are putting out there. Especially waiting around looking at beautiful wyoming scenery waiting for an album drop. lol i slept and i woke up and i put the shits on and then i had a burrito. take it easy stans.

lol the same people who dissed drake for wearing blackface in a photoshoot are the same dudes who are saying Kanye’s politics don’t matter. *smh* what a world to live in.  

jr smith was always gonna be jr smith which includes taking the blame from George Hill who was the real choker. jr smith was just as shocked as we all were that George Hill was a choke artist. we need those george hill “damn, thanks brotha for taking the heat off me” memes to come through. warriors in 5. party at lake merritt. pusha’s daytona is better than people give it credit. the whitney photo was mad disrespect but the bars are insane. “if you know you know” should be right there with jay rock’s “win” as the theme to NXT Takeover Chicago. nxt definitely needs more hip hop themes. and not from wack ass hip hop, let’s get some freddie gibbs and madlib or if you need rock, lets get TRASH TALK. That would be tough.

bought my ticket to the WE WATCH WRESTLING live podcast taking place just right around the corner from popeyes chicken on geneva avenue and more importantly just a mile down the road from the cow palace where that G’D up Special takes place in the 415. after the announcements for pwg’s threemendous at the Globe, I was pretty dead set on going down but I’m thinking about just doing the G1 special since it’s here in SF and then putting all of my chips and holiday cash into BOLA. Threemendous is a great card, but i’d rather really save hard and do it up for BOLA. That’s going to be at least $250 for all three days together in GA. Shoutout to all of the front row ballers.

[walkinsauce]

Becoming Poly- Chapter 14: My Turn

Sorry I didn’t blog last week. Do you know how hard it is to write about polyamory under the same roof as your parents? I was scared one of them was going to pop in and ask,

“Christina, why do you need that bottle of wine in your room?”

“Paper weight.”

So, ya, I’m sure hundreds of self help books would call that an “excuse” for not writing, but trust me: it felt TOO CREEPY. You try to write about sex while your parents are in the next room watching My Three Sons. See how you feel.  I would, however, like to thank all my Tumblr readers for hitting the heart button on all my blogs. Quick shout outs to:

ilove-seductive-mature attractive-milf-girls hot-elder-chamber fat-milf-foxy-imgs bimbo-slutty-girlz fuck-sexy-fat-pussies fucking-amazing-fat-cunts jugs-nice-pictures

It’s good to know I’ve found my audience. Though I do wish you guys would put some capital letters in your names. You’re better than that.

I’ve calmed down from my boyfriend’s first “other sex” in our relationship. I’m pretty lucky that I have so many people reaching out to me, who are better versed in open relationships than I am. A particular comic friend in Florida always sums it up so well:

“Your primary is your home. These other people are the Disneylands and carnivals of the world. Fun day excursions, but you don’t want it every day.”

I think that’s my problem: Part of me would prefer to be the Disneyland. And good news for you, I’m way cheaper.

I still have a crush on the one guy I texted at O’Brien’s the day of my breakdown. I know he’s wary of the poly thing, and knowing my boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I’ve known him for years. I’ve had a crush on him for a year. I can’t help it if I’m a coward, and don’t know how to approach him. (Especially considering the circumstances.) Me sending him Snapchats that he’ll never open is enough of a rush for me.

It’s Friday night. I’m sitting at Ollo, as I often do during happy hour, wondering what I’m going to do when all the regulars go home at 8pm. It’s not a party city. We could use a Malibu’s Most Wanted reboot out here. But with the tiny bit of confidence I get from deep fried zucchini sticks and house wine, I decide to text my crush:

“Do you ever open Snapchat anymore, or am I sending things to an archive…?”

(With a smirky face emoji, obvi.)

He writes back minutes later.

“Hahahaha! I just watched the snaps! They made me laugh!”

It was at least a month’s worth of events, even capturing his own roommates. It must have been quite the montage.

“Thanks for sending them! I’m sorry I’m the worst. They were really funny. How long have you been sending them?”

Oh months. They’re my favorite seed I’ve ever planted.

“You might have just gotten something from me.”

I open Snapchat and see his name light up in full arrowed purple. I’m ridiculously excited for a girl my age. I’m starting to tune out the old man beside me bragging about how he gave Rosie O’Donnell her big break. That’s how you can tell I keep it real in this town- I’d much rather chase romance than my own career. (GOOD MOVE, EH?)

He writes again:

“I just finished a show in Hermosa Beach and I got to watch a lady heckle another comedian by saying, “we’re never going to be friends.”

Wow. The edginess of Hermosa Beach hecklers. What’s next? No tip? Shocking. I’m walking home, past people sleeping in their cars. At least my career is going better than theirs. But it’s a good reminder there’s no parking restrictions on PCH. Man, if any road needs some street cleaning…

It takes us another 18 texts to finally figure out we should meet up, but when he writes,

“I’d be down to meet up somewhere!”

I’m immediately wet. (It happens fast at my age.) He suggests the exact two bars in Santa Monica I was going to suggest. Power of the Leo and Sagittarius. (I probs just lost nine readers by referencing astrology.)

I get to Rick’s on Main Street slightly before him. I don’t have my real glasses on me, cuz I’ve been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day. Didn’t expect to be out past sunset, cuz that’s Malibu “night life.” So I’m going to be mildly blind all night. People always tell me,

“You should get laser eye surgery.”

Why the fuck would I do that? My glasses cover at least a dozen lines on my face. I’m thinking about getting a new pair, with thicker rims. I’m growing out bangs next. The date will be fine as long as I don’t send him into the kitchen when he asks where the bathroom is.

Now here’s the grey area…

Do I tell my bf right now that I’m going to meet this crush? I don’t know anything is going to happen. There’s a good chance we will just be two (ASTROLOGICAL PERFECT MATCHES) drinking buddies in a bar. Two comics, talking shop. Do we really need to set off the alarm before there’s a fire? As per my communication skills, I think def not. Like this blog, I will leave it till the last minute. (Typed at 3:13am, 4:45am after proofreading.)

I’m pretty sure I look like shit, but the good thing about somebody knowing me through comedy, is they always see me looking like shit. I’ve never been super comfortable looking “good” on stage. Maybe this comes from starting stand up 19 years ago, and always fearing women wouldn’t like me if I looked pretty. Most of the women in a comedy club are on dates, and I would literally get glares as they gripped their men. So early in my career, I started to wear hoodies on stage, and cover as much skin as possible. It was my passive aggressive way of saying,

“Don’t look at me. Listen to me.”

(Also, “I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. I’m here to make forty bucks.”)

This is another reason I love the rise of feminism: I pray it means the death of catty-ism. (An energy I sadly grew up with.)

So ya, back to the poly stuff: I’m on an impromptu date with my crush, my bf doesn’t really know, I look like shit, but can’t see that cuz I left my glasses at home. He walks in the bar and I’m almost in shock that we’re together. I think it’s been months since we’ve been in the same room together. And since when did I start going after things I want…?

I’m shockingly comfortable around him. That’s a plus about bonding with someone while you’re in a relationship. You don’t try as hard to sell yourself as when you’re single. You’re just you, and if they don’t like it, who cares? (I admire people who are like this all the time.)

He suggests we go to Chez Jay next. Ooooooooh, I love a new bar. Never been. So excited. Even more excited that he’s ditched his car, and will get it in the morning. I love a man who drinks responsibly. (Is this how I book a MADD commercial, or do I still need to have babies?)

Chez Jay is great. I like having bars like this on my radar. The conversation is going steady, tho I’m praying my primary and polyamory doesn’t come up. I just want to enjoy this night, as it is. The same way I did as a single person. I really don’t want to dive into the politics of it all. I think I’m more terrified that talking about it will scare him away…

When Chez Jay closes, he asks me if I wanna come over for some porch beers.

Yup. You know I do.

Again… is this the moment I text my bf and let him know I’m going over to a guy’s house? I mean technically, there’s a good chance nothing will happen. Seems too soon to ring the alarm. And if there’s one expression comedians know, it’s “too soon.”

He gets us an Uber/Lyft, whichever- most cars in town have both stickers. When we get to his house, I hit the bathroom. Every girl’s most investigative move in a dude’s house. Is his hand towel also his bath towel? Is this a one towel wonder situation? Does he own toilet paper? I don’t make it that far, because I’ve sprayed surprise period all over my undies. (If those Tumblr names didn’t scare you away, this surely will, eh?)

I search the cupboards for anything remotely handy in this moment. There’s nothing. Maybe I should hit the kitchen, and look for coffee filters. Those should work, right?

Nah, I’ll just do the ol’ “tie toilet paper around my underwear” move. It’s the move you do when you first get your period, in case you don’t know. (I FEEL SO YOUNG AGAIN! MAYBE I DON’T NEED BANGS!)

Porch beers are the best. I’m a fan of his roommates. We’re all having a great time, but then… 

Something more unexpected than my bloody kitty happens. This beautiful, young blonde chick walks up to the porch.

“Hey, I live across the street. All my friends went to sleep, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

Holy. Mother. Trucker. It’s 3:00am. This isn’t the moment I was expecting competition…

But here we are.

The guys grab her a beer. Now again, I am not into “catty-ism.” BUT- I am a share holder of “insecurity-ism.” And if I were any one of these guys on this porch, I would def hit on this chick instead of me. She’s legit extremely cool. There’s a part of me that wonders if this is fate’s little way of saying,

You’re not ready to pop your poly cherry yet.

I never rang the alarm. I can still get out of this… innocently?

Either way, I think she might be might be my personal savior (another word I spell wrong cuz I’m Canadian and think there’s a “u” in it.)

“Do you have a tampon?”

“Of course! Come on over!”

She takes me over to her apartment, and literally gives me all her pads cuz she doesn’t use them. Bonus. My favourite sleep aid. I fucking love this girl.

We head back over to the boys, and I know I’m drunk, bleeding and tired. I ask my crush if there’s a place I can crash. He escorts me to his roommate’s room, and tucks me in. (Don’t worry- the roommate wasn’t there. That would have been the real poly, eh?)

As I fall asleep, like a loser at a slumber party who goes to bed first, I can’t help but think,

“He’s a great guy. She’s a great girl. If they hook up, I’m fine with it.”

PRACTICE COMPERSION! Why is compersion so much easier when you’re not dating someone? I fall asleep/pass out- which ever you like to believe at this hour. In the morning, I wake up in a super funny comedian’s bed. Alone. I make the bed, as a sure fire way to say “a chick was here” and text my crush.

“Oh I wanna say bye, but I don’t know what room is yours.”

I can’t just knock on random doors… Plus he might not be alone. I def don’t want to interrupt kinky times with the pad donor. All of a sudden, one of the roommates pops out of his room. I ask him which room is _______’s and he shows me. In this moment, I know I’m risking becoming a piece of gossip my boyfriend might hear… 

And not through me…

I lightly knock on the door. When I hear a groggy “come in” I open the door.

There’s NO hot, cool, tampon savior chick in his bed. He’s just sleeping, post drinking style, alone.

“Oh, I just wanted to say goodbye…”

And then, without saying another word, I crawl into bed with him. 

[dahoodsie]

ROHBITW TV, Lowell 6/24

If you don't realize that there may be some inadvertent SPOILERS here, I don't know what to tell you.

Not a recap. Just chatty.

Doubtless many references to NXT Lowell, considering it was the first time I & sometime rasslin' compatriot Badger had gone to an event together since and it was in the same place.

Also it tickled me that Mark the mark had made a reference to us being there in the same place at the same time again, so WHAT STARTLING TITLE CHANGES WOULD OCCUR?!!

So it had been A. WEEK. for me. Let me be clear, I love my stressy job, I love where I live. There had just been too much needless fuckery -- not, indeed, that fuckery is generally needful by nature. My boss was all "wow, you got so upset you started shaking," which you may be sure did not make me self-conscious AT ALL. I would have preferred to have met Marty Scurll after I was done having a meltdown, BUT THERE WE WERE.

Ran out of work on fire an hour early. (D'ya think I could get a religious exemption or sumpin'? Yknow, "mocking worship at the altar of the squared circle"? It hasn't previously come up, suggestions appreciated.) Poor Badger's ears filled not just with lemme ketch-ya-up on this stuff but here is who I am sending anthrax to next week (note to any interested intelligence agencies: I am not, in fact, sending out anthrax to anybody. BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS PRETEND COMFORT AWAY FROM MEEEEE).

As a side note, it occurs to me that maybe I don't get to make the judgment "wow, rasslers have a weird job," considering that I do too. Just with a lot less travel & kicks to the head.

I was so sadface not to be in Lowell this time last year, but srsly, I and Badger were both so skint last year as it was aaaand had spent the $$$ on NXT. So, alas. Schedules & varying ability to drive (I cannot) also meant no PPV this year. Saturday's the best day of the week anyway!

It was my intention to meet an IPA, Marty, and the Young Bucks, in that order. The very charming young lady in the Cheeseburger shirt (I believe next seen mugging him while wearing a cheeseburger hat -- no, seriously, she had a plush cheeseburger on her head) approached and asked what we were looking for. I said "Beer, and Marty's line." She pointed, "Beer is all the way around the other side," then pointed where I was standing and said "and Marty's line is here." "Oh. Uhh." Look, it was confusing, what with everybody and their dog lined up to meet Cody. Let it be noted that Marty was perfectly lovely and ended approximately every sentence with "luv."

Finally got a beer & my breath, while telling Badger what I stated for the Chyna documentary that is going to have people wanting to come to my house to beat me up. Now is a good time to mention that Dalton & the Boys were actually all dolled up for their portion of the meet & greet, because about then they came swanning down the hall towards the backstage equivalent. That was awesome enough, made more awesome by the incredulous reaction of the cheerful chubby guy across the hall.

"Did I just-?!"

"Yes. Yes you did."

"Did they just-?!"

"Yes. Yes they did. You know... just hangin' out of a Saturday afternoon... I mean, I know that's what I wear around the house..."

(All three were extremely generous with their time & attention throughout the day.)

We finally went the rest of the way inside and everybody was given a Superkick Party 2 DVD. Whaaaaaaat? THANKS! It really strongly needs to be noted that NXT could learn A LOT about how to light this building from ROH. Then we had to get sad and mourn all the glorious lost footage that the WWE is probably too vain ever to show us. Mainly we really REALLY want to see Ciampa vs His-Name-Was-Girard-That-Night again because it was fucking amazing. Dammit!

Speaking of which, I asked Badger "Is that the same kid sitting in the same seat who was LOSING HIS GODDAM MIND when Balor lost the belt?" (While I've always been fuzzy about this kid's gender, I became clear quickly that this was the same kid. Henceforth known as Fat Kid.)

(That's the one)

Then we are told that we will be filming four episodes, also Women of Honor. OH. Oh, my. "What the fuck'm I gonna watch for the next four weeks?!" I demanded, laughing. (Okay really we know the answer to that...) So you know, we were there for siiiiiix hoooouuuurs.

Furthermore, we are all invited to 'upgrade' our seats to face the hard cam. Badger has a good point that if I'd had signs I'd probably be all over that, but I prefer the better view. Cheerful chubby guy is one of the first on it (I'm telling you, I love this guy).

Being that this was the Bataan Death March of spectatorhood -- except, yknow, not in a bad way -- I need to cut the shit on being quite so chatty. If you just want to know what happened, that's easy enough to find out. If you want to get some feel for what it might have been like were you there, I'm your girl. Also, we started having to get super strategic about breaks -- tho as I murmured to Badger at one point "I desperately need to pee, but I am GODDAMNED if I am going to do it during a women's match."

SOME STUFF:

We got some really excellent promo stuff, particularly from Daniels and Cody (as is only proper). Daniels was very up in our shit about loving Bullet Club. "mmmm are we having a bit of a worked shoot?" queried I. "ehh, ehh, I hope the Young Bucks say 'SUCK IT' to me," sez Daniels. "IT'S DAMN TRUE," yell I. Cody got ALL THE LAHV. He eventually said something along the lines -- considering nobody was permitting him to speak -- of "we can do this all night, if you like. Yknow they're gonna edit this, right...?" I told Badger that I've just been really happy that Cody seems so much happier. I mean, sucking chest wound because of WORST CLUB EVER -- that's losing a parent, not Bullet Club, so's ya knows -- but generally in life. Daniels was all "I didn't see that any of you guys were cradling his balls when he was STARDUST!"

Fat Kid was impossible to ignore, tho folks did initially try (at least while on camera). If he had a thought, he yelled it. He was weirdly obsessed with the rip in the shirt of one of the camera guys, it was in his ARMPIT HOLE. Eventually there was a mass decision of FUCK IT. While he was abusing Daniels in particular, Daniels came over to yell "you've never won anything in your LIFE, fat boy!" While I myself would not enjoy this, FK was in his glory. No, seriously, best day evah. (It occurs to me that I really ought to write about the weirdly adversarial relationship between shall we say performers & observers.)

Is FK the Boston-area equivalent of Izzy...? More obnoxiousness, far fewer tears...? It may be so.

I was rilly, rilly happy to see Motor City Machine Guns, who are on the (the) elite list of those who I would watch when I wasn't otherwise watching rasslin (a story of its own).

Rarely have I heard so much primarily soprano cheering since the early Hardyz (OK EdjanChrischun too) as there was for the women's matches. This both ruled and didn't. Srsly guys, are you gonna deny this shit is awesome?! If so, you are cordially invited to suck my dick.

Quoth Badger of Kris Wolf, "The tail was killin' me."

"Oh I get it. If she weren't so EARNEST, I don't know that I'd be in. But she has WHISKERS, for cryin' out loud!!"

(Also I adored that some people were doing little howls for her.)

There were occasional, scattered, funny but sad "awkward silence" chants. These were outright sad when during Martinez's entrance. Ooooouuuuch.

When the crowd would yell "twoooooo" after a near fall, some people started chirping "sweet!" Guy next to me groused "Oh great, we're gonna be hearing that all night." Said guy is a sourpuss. Yet said grousing guy is wearing a Bullet Club shirt. OTAY.

There was a super-friendly Australian (?) ambassador to the smoking patio engaging pretty much each and every one of us in conversation. We had to talk about my shirt.

"What, you haven't heard of Panda Panda, wrestling panda...? Shockingly agile in the ring, easily distracted by bamboo shoots...?"

"Do they have that shirt here today?"

"?!! Noooooo. Really, I just didn't want to leave anybody out."

-----

"So are you with the show?"

“HAH yeahno."

"I'm pretty sure if I ask you, you have to tell me. Like with cops."

"I am positive that's not true. Nor with cops. Also, I'm not."

A fellow who was, shall we say, more petite than Cody came out, wearing a ginormous new Cody shirt.

"Cody gave me this shirt!!!"

Story that ensued was that Cody came out, wearing this shirt, and threw it but it hit the announcers' table. This guy asked for somebody to throw it to him, and somebody did. This is not, strictly speaking, my own personal definition of "Cody gave this to me," but I was weirdly charmed.

......Have I mentioned that there were twooooooo (sweet!) meet & greets? Cos there were. Badger mentioned that Senor Ray was not as large as he'd thought he'd be. None of this kind of thing had ever occurred to me before (but let us be fair, that happens a lot). I said "welllll when I got a picture with him [and D'Von] he was seated. Also [SHRUGGY MCSHRUGPANTS] I've met a lot of wrestlers smaller than me." To be fair, I am a strappin' lass -- the Medium-Sized Red Machine, if you will -- and certainly taller than Badger. Also I don't give a fuck about anything other than "are you awesome & can you rassle?" Allow me to be clear: for ex., Guerrero was TEENY (and all heart).

Marty took part in a match that had us peeing our pants. Badger laughed, "Okay I LOVE this guy, he's a great heel." But I am not the sort to say I TOLD YOU SO. Newp.

Speaking of peeing, entertained that at ONE OF THE FEW TIMES I had company in the bathroom -- srsly that amuses me in and of itself, and I darkly loved that at NXT Boston the boys, for a change, had a serious line whereas I was able to swan right in & right out -- I suspected that this meant there was a match on that I myself might not much care about. This happened to be true.

Silas kept coming out with a sign that it had been ___ days since Jay Lethal had been in the workplace. Certain people kept yelling "IT'S BEEN ONE! DAY!" which was kind of funny, but also a dick move. Look dude, no one thinks you think it's true, no need to prove it. Work with us here.

Got beaned with a mostly-rolled streamer, it was inevitable. I told Badger "Clearly, we are the only LARPers here, cos not that many people understand how to throw a streamer."

Digression: so after NXT Lowell, this girl bummed a cigarette off of me, then inquired:

"So who did you guys come here to see?"

This was such a novel concept to me! Rilly, there are people who go to all this bother, and it isn't "mostly everybody" but instead is just one person or two...?

"Mostly everybody. Well... not 'which one's Dawson, which one's Dash,' haha... not the Drifter... for cryin' out loud not MOJO, but he was pretty good tonight."

With that said, what better way to end an evening than with a hearty FUCK THE REVIVAL?

(This still makes me giggle every time. I know I will reach saturation, but for now I am still giggling.)

On the way home, Badger was all "SWEET CHEESES. I agreed to let you treat me cos I thought it was gonna be like THIRTY DOLLARS!"

"I DON'T MESS AROUND."