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inventors-fair · 3 years ago

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Animal Race Commentary: Packing it In

I’ll get the personal excuses out of the way: between school responsibilities, work responsibilities, a savage head cold, and weekend expeditions, this was a pretty rough week for me to do a turnaround on short notice. I really don’t know how I was doing one of these every week back in the day… Then again, we didn’t have quite the numbers that we have now, do we. Well, except for that one Commander contest, but regardless.

I think most of my criticisms this week fall into nitpicks, because the creativity was astounding and the heart was absolutely heartfelt. There was a lot of care worked into these cards in some ways, and I greatly appreciate having a more open contest for this kind of thing. I’m glad that the consensus was pretty on-track as well; most people know what an anthropomorphic animal race looks like, and there was very little confusion or rules-pushback, and I think that just about everyone made a brand-new race as well with some worldbuilding alongside! Of course, there’ll be the individual comments to be seen, and when we get there we’ll see how that all went down.

I’m gonna do the same thing as last week, I think, where I’ll just talk about good and bad points, pick the nits as they come, and see how that goes. Maybe once I’m conscious these will even be coherent. JUDGE PICKS are cards that, for one specific reason or another, I’d like to commend, even if they still need some TLC. And as always, discussion and questions are welcome, my opinion is my own, you’re all still awesome, so let’s jump right into it. Awoo!

@azathoth-the-bored — Krestek, Coralstone Engineer

I’d like to commend you, mostly, for starting us off with a really funny card. That’s the other good thing, though, qualifying what may be perceived as condescending: I don’t mean funny as dismissive or childish, but there’s an inherent humor to this world you’ve made as there are inherent humorous aspects to having a set with pirates or ninjas in today’s pop-culture world. Crabs that make vehicles to fight against the surface-dwellers is fantastic. I genuinely like that concept. I also really appreciate that you reached a LOT here into weirdness with the vehicle tokens. Those haven’t been done before, no? No reason they couldn’t be, and I think that it makes a lot of sense here!

Mechanically, you do need to say “tap X *untapped* creatures and/or Vehicles you control” for that, but you know what, as a mythic with some neat power that can crew the Vehicles they make, I’m down for Krestek going nuts here. So if I sound really down for this card, here’s the main criticisms to take away: flavor needs to exist outside your own head. It’s the exact same issue with the Phyrexian harbinger, except a little less so, but what everyone else isn’t seeing here is the paragraph you sent about the lore of the Deep Folk, and mech stuff, and speciesism, and—look, once again, your card needs to speak for itself. Frankly, it does, even without the flavor text, which is…passable if it had quotation marks, but even then. With this strong a card, I know you would benefit from more trust in your card’s ability to carry itself. You’re doing good work and improving. Just keep in mind the limitations.

@charcharmera — Kaunos, Lord of the Glade

The really fascinating design space here is hard to work around. I’m well aware of players that enjoy manipulating combat from the opponent’s board, making them attack and all, because I’m one of them. I think that for wording, the first ability is just “Whenever an opponent attacks you,” as much as I personally like the more specific wording. Should it be on “target creature you control” too? The second ability might need to target an opponent, IMO, and the second sentence could just be “Creatures that player controls attack this turn if able.” Maybe there should be a timing restriction, too, because there are DEFINITELY ways to exploit this, and gumming up the turn is complicated.

There’s a lot of cool stuff about this card. Perhaps ‘Lord’ invokes the creature type “Noble” more than “Knight,” but Kaunos as a knight still makes sense, and you know what, I do like him and the general feel. Here’s a fighter that’ll stand up to the oncoming force and defend it, gung ho, love it. Stoic, solid and—well, noble. That much comes across. Mechanically, there could be some wiggle room to make this gel better, but I personally think that this card earns a “pretty cool.”

@chungus-supreme — Ursine Protector

Defending a cub is all well and good, and this card’s fairly standard for its body and abilities. I need to get two big things out of the way, though, and the first the wording on the last ability. To rephrase: “When ~ dies, you gain life equal to the amount of damage dealt to it this turn.” I’m not sure where you got “damage it took” but that’s never appeared on a card before. The pronoun “you” always goes before lifegain effects that affect you, as well, and that’s one of the biggest grammar issues that pops up on any custom card so don’t worry too much. I was iffy on the first ability but that’s actually perfectly correct as far as I can tell.

The second major issue is the creature type. I’m not sure why this isn’t a bear, and that’s throwing me off in a major way. Creatively, Magic has bears, and bear-people, so I’m going to chalk this one up to a mistake over a creative choice, but if it is a creative choice then I’m really uncertain as to what led you there. If it’s a mistake, well, water under the bridge, but like I say, it’s always worth polishing your cards to their maximum potential before submitting.

@corporalotherbear — Acoulid Woodtapper (JUDGE PICK)

The aye-aye and I don’t always see eye-to-aye-aye-eye—ay, yi, yi… Anyway. Hell yeah. This card’s a trip and a half. Two small fixes: “creature or land” is the correct order instead of “land or creature,” and the “If” should be capitalized in that last sentence. Aside from that… Oh, this card’s just too clever for its own good, and I love it so. “Tapping a land,” that’s just too perfect, and it’s one of those things where even if this particular card wouldn’t get printed after a heckload of set revisions, it would mean something from the outset. For those of you not in the know, look up how the aye-aye finds its food. I saw enough in the workshop to know this was an aye-aye, so there’s that too, but anyway.

This card has a conundrum that I’m not sure how to get around, and that’s the fact that it could also be a non-sapient creature without the Monk subtype. Is that a bad thing? Not really, it’s just something that art direction or a little flavor/background could fix in post. Should UR be making green Insects for the flavor? I think I would have been 100% more aligned if it was a red Insect, and heck, red’s the secondary color for MTG bugs, right? This card has a solid commendable core with a pun and a half of good work behind it, and it’s just on the side of not quite reaching me on the MTG side of things. I want to show it as an example of how cleverness can really make a card pop, and how this is the correct way to be clever within the contest confines. A little reach beyond that would’ve been perfect but as it stands we’re still good.

@dabudder — Segovian Foot Soldier

It fits the prompt, and it’s cute. This is, unfortunately, all I can really say about this card. I’ve tried to find a good angle, but resonance in the world of Segovia stops at the point of “things are very small.” What more substance is there? Well, now we can assume animal-folk attacking intruders, but is that enough? Compared to the information and mechanical resonance of some of these other cards, I would argue no. There is, again, nothing inherently wrong with this card and idea. There’s just not much for me to really dig into. Maybe Vraska’s approach? But what is she saying that adds more information that we wouldn’t already have gleaned?

I want to learn and be challenged by these cards. This card would be perfectly fine in the sets that ask for it. For this contest, I feel you can push yourself and your designs more into a realm of questioning. I’m sorry there’s not much more to say about this card, and I know I’m rambling a bit already.

@deg99 — Baneshell Plunderer (JUDGE PICK)

Trust me from lived experience: turtles being given guns doesn’t end well. I don’t think it’s ending well for that human dude just offscreen, but anyway. I think that the name “Baneshell” sells me here, that there’s a named group of these turtle mercenary dudes wreaking havoc on whatever port town they’re in. And it’s silly, yeah, but that’s just the inherent silliness of having an animal race, especially one that’s uncommon and not as “”noble”” as something like lions or eagles or whatever.

Mechanically, I like the build-around-ness of this card, and how marginally useful it could be in limited. Freezing is nice, even if it isn’t something that can happen repeatedly. Treasure token generation too is an awesome addition, especially because you’re guaranteed at least one. It almost makes this guy feel more like an extortionist, which is still very blue. I mean this in the good way but this card feels a lot like a “limited rare” for a premier set. Y’know? Like, something they shell out (heh) during preview season to drum up a little hype, and then it’s thirty cents down the line. That’s not a bad thing! It feels organic in that way. There might be something with that last ability that could use reworking by way of Amulet of Vigor but I’m not sure how.

@dimestoretajic — Stripe, The Mighty

I’ve read and own every Redwall book, so the phenomenon of badger warriors is nothing new to me. I’m not sure if that’s where you were coming from, but it seems to be pretty much along those lines, right? That’s the first misstep, I feel—as much as I do love Redwall, I wanted something entirely new from this contest, and there’s ways to make that resonant without feeling like a copy of the source material. I’d be kinder if the flavor text was more original, but it feels like an overly-verbose retread of Enrage, with its own well-known origins.

Giving this creature first strike as well was another decision that causes a major disconnect. The majority of Enrage mechanics are going to be triggered via combat damage (Occam’s razor), and if something is dealing combat damage to Stripe, chances are Stripe isn’t surviving that encounter, and so what’s the use of having modes? Again, I understand the flavor of Enrage here and why you chose it, but first strike takes away everything that Enrage wants to do; they’re inherently incompatible mechanics. The takeaway I want you to have here is that there were a few ways to do this card right, all of which hinged upon a departure from the emotional attachment to some of its aspects.

@eveydeevey — Gharial Guide

This card got a lot of buzz about it, and you know what, I can see why. Crocodile-folk rooting around in the mud to get some things back from the earth feels unique but resonant, a good combination. Whoever this muscly dude is, I get a sense of their mood, their mojo, the lifestyle and way around the world—yeah, I grok it, I grok the less combative aspects of their world, the utilitarian side. The flavor text is pretty deec, although the last part’s losing me a little bit here. I mean, yeah, they’re pulling it out, but why? A hint as why could have been more helpful, as well as a reason for why this card is a “Guide”/Scout. Who are they guiding? Why does that scouting involve salvaging? What is this creature/race’s connection to the land itself? The disconnect between salvaging and guiding is clashing for me on an otherwise really strong introductory card to this new race.

Mechanically, it’s pretty great. It’s definitely too strong. Multicolor isn’t enough to justify having an on-curve-plus body WITH protection AND a probably relevant attacking ability. Like, good lord, value town here. That is a limited perspective though, and honestly, it’s not that hard to fix. One generic mana, making it even a bear, reducing the ward cost, yadda yadda. Like, this card’s one to save for expansion, but it does definitely need fixing. All the same, it’s worth fixing, and your flavor’s strong enough to work on too.

@fractured-infinity — Riverhold Captain

I’m reading over this card and trying to grok it, and I understand it, but I’m having a hard time trying to fully express what bothers me about it. It’s a trope-aligned and reasonable take on turtles, sure, the captain-ness seems fitting, alright, and… What is this card doing, really? What is steady doing? What’s the point of having the additional two toughness? What about the analog memory issues of which ones do and don’t untap during the untap step? Turn-to-turn effects, plus the trigger of ward, which then messes with the untap, is all just too much for me.

The word that comes to mind is “undisciplined,” but that’s far too harsh for what I’m thinking. I think that this card just isn’t aware of how much the effects will change the board state and how much there is to keep track of in a way that doesn’t make it immediately apparent how it helps in the game plan. I had an old friend who used to play Magic and who made cards with me, and the cards all had absurd toughness-to-MV ratios with defensive effects, because that was how they liked to play the game but it was all just stalling, and this is what feels evoked here: a stalled board state designed to prolong rather than progress. If I’m not grokking this card, then there’s something greater that I’m definitely missing, but if I DO grok it, then it definitely needs revision.

@gollumni — Pengu Frostfinder

I’m quite eager to talk about this card because it evokes something about Magic design that I thoroughly enjoy, and that’s the concept of choice. This card does something I think is ultimately a detriment, and that’s the fact that the first ability isn’t a “may” ability. Every snowfall will exile the top card of your library whether you like it or not, and then subsequently the cards you filter with Pengu Frostfinder will also result in another card being exiled. Now. How would this change if the first ability was a “may” ability? The versatility would certainly allow for more caution, and as a player, your agency would increase dramatically. Why? Because the second ability, the activated ability, is also a choice, with the exception of the exile. It’s forcing you to exile, but at a cost that you can rationalize, whereas the first ability forces cards to potentially be lost forever, and if that first ability was a “may” ability then the second would also be radically more powerful because you’ll already have decided how much you’ve gained or lost to exile and what you’ll gain or lose if your penguin gets iced.

Flavorfully yeah you have a cute penguin wizard and whatever and it’s wonderful, but this card’s definitely bottom-up in a snow world, and that’s why there’s a massive paragraph about the mechanics. I really don’t want to dismiss the notion of cute penguin wizardry; the mechanical stuff is just so fascinating to me, with resource management, mitigation, the really cool concepts that it introduces. Like, this is a REALLY good card, too, really resonant and all! It’s also happened to spur me into a topic that I find cool as a designer.

@grornt — Waikiki Jewel-Juggler (JUDGE PICK)

Someone would be humming the Mission Impossible theme as they played this card, and while that someone isn’t me, I’m pleased that there would be someone like that and I’m glad that this card’s here to fill that slot in. Where’s the name come from? If it’s just made-up ‘cause it sounds cool, sure, I’m with you, but I wish I knew about any linguistic origin. If there was something in the prompt, I missed it, and that’s my bad. God, this is one where the art just sells me, and it’s so damn good at conveying what you want to convey. This is a world I get, immediately, and quite frankly even without the art I would get it all the same. This card feels really good on the eyes and brain.

What set would it be in? This is something I’m curious about, because I’m looking at the abilities, and I’m like, oh, I’m a Vintage player, and I’m gonna steal a Mox and have some shenanigans there, but even small creatures could be fun. It’s a shame you can’t switcheroo things and sac them in response to just gain control, because that would be a field day, but also, stealing someone’s Sol Ring would be amazingly fun. I’m still not positive, but I think that there are ways for this card—oh, TOKENS, lmao, that’s awesome—for this card to really make things frustrating and hilarious. It’s still quite limited in scope, but heck, some cards like this one benefit from a limited scope, and that’s what matters the most. I love this monkey, even if I’ve lost all my precious stones to it.

@helloijustreadyourpost — Formicid Vanguard

I was wondering why the flavor text was bugging me—no pun intended because it wasn’t “bothering” or “annoying” me exactly; it was just this minor complication I couldn’t put into words. Then, I had to ask: what is the hive, if not its members? I understand that this was playing into the flavor of the individual dying for the greater good, and that tracks, that’s all awesome there. The question is just what is the “hive,” then? It’s a philosophical nitpick that just makes me read the flavor text in a different light. The rest of the mood, though, that all tracks, and it’s a trope but a reasonable trope because you’ve brought it to life and given it a new character. I truly care about this little ant dude even if they’re willing to sacrifice themselves for the rest of their ant buddies.

Capitalize “Insect” in the abilities and you should be all set. I’m wondering what the secondary color would be for this draft archetype, and you know what, the more I think about it the less it matters, but at the same time it’ll eventually matter a lot, and that’s cool. I mean that genuinely, because it could go into any number of colors, less so blue but black, sure, white, most likely, red I could see it, and that’s interesting to me and that tracks. This card’s got solid chops, less an introduction to a world and more about the lives of inhabitants that assume we know already, and I’m fine with that, honestly!

@hiygamer — Skittri Honor Guard

The resonance of insects giving their lives seems to be a common theme, huh. I think that humans find some solace in that kind of self-sacrifice, that we can impose the concept of nobility onto a survival tactic, and have a moral dilemma solved with an example and meaning. It’s interesting! This card on the mechanical side tracks that for sure. Stops the targeting and stops the general boardwipe if need be, sure. Vigilance as an on-curve example as well as a flavor indicator, I can track it.

So about that flavor text. This is the return of the additive question, and I often question myself at this point: am I asking too much from flavor text? I don’t think so. I do ask a lot, and I think that a lot of printed Magic flavor text does lean into ease of access and trope a little, and that’s fine, but I’m going to ask that the envelope be pushed just a touch, and this particular quote is quite comfortable with the envelope where it is. It’s not *bad* by any stretch of the imagination, but it evokes information we can already glean from the abilities, which are strong enough as they are. Now that I know the Skittri are insects who have a guard class serving their legends from the card, the flavor text can add something different, and right now, it’s not there yet. A little bit of personality, sure, but it’s tabula rasa. I don’t want to harp too much but I like to make these conversations and without someone to give me feedback on when they’ve got it and I can stop, I can just keep going. The takeaway here is to use flavor text to show what the card doesn’t show already.

@hypexion — Vespin Raider (JUDGE PICK)

That word, “chorus.” What an interesting choice. One word changes the nature of this card so much, because it’s not a cacophony, it’s not a scream, it’s a chorus. What does that say about the unity of this tribe, race, whatever? How does that speak to their notions of harmony? Are they friendly and unified, or—no, the name “Raider,” what does that mean? Do they destroy with mindless resonance, or with controlled evisceration taught from birth? There are a lot of contextualized questions that that word brings to the table, and I think it’s a subtle choice that just happens to strike a chord with me personally, because it’s so specific.

The card itself is still good, and has applications, and is well-worded and VERY powerful, and I don’t think it’d be significantly standard-playable but for casual players it would be cool as anything. I mean, it’s the Squadron Hawk but Not Quite phenomenon, right? Still big and powerful, still really neat, not quite there because that would be very much broken, but still absolutely strong even with two in limited, let alone three, and that’s also discounting tribal aspects if there are any. Yeah, no, I dig this card! It’s not quite making me salivate for this world, but it’s bringing some well-known ideas to the table in a presentable and interesting way. Oh, wait, they’re wasps, I just…remembered that, my goodness. Again, head cold’s been sending me into a fog. They’re definitely jerks then.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Attendant of Fire

This one’s tricky as heck. Looking at that second ability especially, I can get a sense of power level that feels immensely strong on the surface. It’s made for players that know how to use it and it’s perhaps not designed for limited unless there’s a hyper-strong monocolor focus, but that doesn’t feel great at the moment. No, there’s something else, and it’s a curiosity. I think this card, mechanically, is good, with a good name, a strange typeline, and thoughtful abilities. I think it’s asking a lot from a limited deck and that it would be unfathomably strong in the right constructed environment, and that that’s not too hard to envision.

We find ourselves at flavor junction again, and the callback to Chandra and Jhoira here was something that a lot of people in the workshop found pretty cute. As for me, I don’t. Is a callback or a reference the best place to introduce a new creature type, perhaps a new world, for a contest where the context is going to be entirely based around the creature’s existence and what we’re discovering through it? I don’t think so. I’ll be honest: I don’t care about Chandra and Jhoira right now, because I want to care about the Attendant, and even about the lord of “my lord,” and the planeswalker business is getting in the way. This wasn’t what I was looking for at all and doesn’t resonate with me. With other enfranchised players, sure, I can see that, and there are people who might want to explore those options more if they were running this contest. I’m not that person, and this wasn’t that contest.

@jsands84 — Bloodsucking Lawyer

This ain’t your grandmother’s Orzhov, no siree. And wow, there’s a bit to unpack. Starting off, though, the mechanics are really solid, and a strong build-around for a world in which this kind of card could flavorfully exist. It’s not pushing the mechanical envelope but it’s pushing power level, compared to other hybrid two-drops in the same vein. I swear, that wasn’t intentional. The card itself is playing off of some silly tropes and kinda-puns and the like, but now that I’ve caught the bug—no, wait—UGH.

Flavor. Okay. Back on track. This paragraph is…definitely overwritten, but that’s okay, because it’s well-written enough to be pared down. The last sentence could be reworked a little bit to give the whole picture, and you know what, that’s fine, and I think that it could definitely use that push because the mechanics, while not reinventing the wheel, convey everything you want to convey. I took this basic art concept and tried to apply it to a fantasy world where insect lawyers were the norm, and man, it’s terrifying and gory and I kinda love it. It’s definitely removed from the world of Ravnica and there’s nothing wrong with that. This card shows that you grok the contest in a way the befits mosquitos, and props to ya for that.

@kellylogs — Vuline Ranger

What I want to love about this card is the backstory, and what I’m really trying not to criticize too much is the squished text. There is a lot that you put into this card and it makes it hard to focus because it’s physically difficult to grok right off the bat. I think that without vigilance it could be possible to squeeze more in, but this card is unnecessarily crowded and it makes it really hard to talk about without mentioning that. Without flavor text, we wouldn’t get the gist of this awesome worldbuilding, but with it, the card’s just not physically printable. And it’s a shame, because mechanically, these things are sensible: the ranger searches for new lands and protects the land they currently occupy, lands outside the realm of Eldraine’s scope.

See, I do think that that’s cool, this Aesop’s world of fairytale talking animals but with the dark and twisted combative world of Magic, like how Eldraine had some elements of gothic horror that were more rooted in the tropes than anything. Man, I played a lot of that set, and I did love it a lot, but I do have a love for them fairytale roots, and this card playing into that is making me want to love it, and everything about it is nice except for that squish. Revising this to an uncommon without vigilance and without flavor text would have been much better and might even have been a judge pick. This particular space is just asking too much for the parameters of a physical card.

@maispace — Duelspinner

There…is a lot that this card is bringing to the table. I’m a little stunned as to how keyword soup turns into a fascinating card mechanically. “Tap it and exert it”—like, that’s really cool to me, and I think that this is the kind of experimental envelope-pushing I was talking about in earlier submissions. Is it a good card? That’s the frustrating part, because this card is perfectly reasonable, to a degree, until it isn’t. I feel that this card is a little too powerful, and that might be the lifelink aspect (in fact, I’m almost certain) or it might be the solid body or it might be any number of small parts. I would like to see this card tested just to check its annoyance factor. In a shell where you can control combat, swinging in with this card would be monumentally more powerful than it appears on the surface. That’s the big question: is that exerting clause sufficiently strong enough to get around how much this card is a bomb on the battlefield?

Truly, I don’t know, but if I’m hemming and hawing about this enough, I think that it’s worth revising on the mechanical front. So let’s look at that flavor, hm? I think this is one that’s hard to sort of get my head around, or rather, I can get my head around it but I can see where it wouldn’t be particularly convincing to show a spider spinning a web around something without making it a little bit cruel. I don’t find spiders particularly scary, but many people do, and having a spider toying with you in combat? The love of the fight is a good twist on expected tropes for insectile devourers, and I think that that’s on the clever side. A “good foe” feels a mite bit weak to me, but that’s just a strange word choice trying to play into symmetry, and I get it. Is the foe the opponent? I doubt it’s the creatures, because it’s big enough to eat a majority of what it would face on the battlefield. I think I’m on the verge of getting this card, but we’re not quite there yet.

@mardu-lesbian — Ainok Paladin (JUDGE PICK)

I saw you cringing in the talk the other day about the power level of this card, and I really want to defend you—so I will. This card is on the higher end of power level and complexity and I’d pick it highly in a draft for sure, but that’s also not taking into account the environment’s removal, mechanics, and the fact that if I do so much as Unsummon an ally then it’s back to a regular on-curve creature with a heavy color weight restriction. Does that mean an environment where it’s probably going to have a RW shell to build around? Yeah, but there’s still a heavy color weight to it that forces it into that place while allowing strength in other colors to shine. If everything around it is removed, then it loses that edge. Could it be probably better as a 2/3? Yeah, but that’s such a slight difference that it hardly matters.

The fluffiness of the Samoyed here is fading as I picture the world on which a true dog knight might take place. I see the big handsome warrior, their mace swung forward, a heavy brow and a small snarl, armor worn with roughhousing. Their regalia is impressive and their spirit is strong, and yeah, that tracks. This flavor text really does carry the mood. The togetherness you’ve pitched comes across well, and it actually feels sad, because when it’s alone again, or when it’s alone in combat, it loses that extra strength of a companion, and jeez, I’d feel a momentary pang from that alone in addition to losing my board presence. It’s clever and simple and a little smarmy and a little sweet, using enough aphorism to bring that sensation of cleverness to heart, so you know what, feel good about that, dammit, because I sure do.

@misterstingyjack — Refuse Delver

Lemme start with this: the mood and flavor of the raccoon type and the abilities totally make sense to me and feel fiendishly adorably. The characterization and the flavor text go together super well and I love this little buddy. So with both those things in mind, I was initially uncertain about how the flavor text and the abilities came together, because my first thought was: what is this particular character digging up? What are they taking out of the garbage, and why isn’t that represented in the mechanics? But you know what, this card isn’t about sifting through for something: it’s just about sifting through.

Ha, actually—surveiling here is like lifting the lid off the trash can and deciding whether or not you’re gonna throw it away, and it literally mimes the motion, and I think that that’s pretty funny. More props to ya. I think as a top-down raccoon, this card’s really nice. I wouldn’t say that it evokes a whole world or that it plays into something fantastical, but it’s super cute. It did take me a little bit to get through some parts of the mindset, but I think I’m warmed up to this card. It’s just hard with all these strong entries to pick out which ones strike a chord with me. This card’s combination of skulk and surveil sets it apart from cards that seek to get into premier sets, but at the same time the power level is of a card definitely designed for limited, so it’s hard to gauge that immediately. The bottom line is that this card really does do several things right even if my processing is a little on the low end of things today, so you know what, take that for whatever you will.

@nine-effing-hells — Ahtlaaca Champion

The Inventor’s Fair first annual original art contest begins and ends here. I wish I could make this a judge pick strictly for original art, and I think I’m not the only one who loves this piece. There’s a lot of conflict between art and no-art cards sometimes, and this one definitely adds to the piece and I’d prefer it—but I can’t let that bias me more favorably. And so should that discourage people from making art? No, because ultimately it’s enjoyable, and does add something to the creative process, and you know what because it’s an original piece that adds to the creative process it DOES impact how the card is seen even if future original art by other people doesn’t have to be as detailed even though I do appreciate the detail here—and that’s that.

So, this card. Well! I think that these effects have shown one thing in previous formats: they really don’t make for amazing rares. Should it be rare? I’ll be honest, I think this card would be a perfect uncommon for the set that asks for it. Strong? Absolutely. Chonky? Heck yeah. A dealbreaker? No, and I think there will be people who disagree with me there, but I really do insist that this could be uncommon. Flavorfully the card is pretty self-explanatory, puns and all, and the notion of “city-lakes” of this civilization is really darn cool. The action and the type and the name and the environment paint a perfect picture of the Ahtlaaca’s role in this universe. Is there a correct pronunciation of that? This might be a moment to revise things a little bit for ease of mouth feel.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Rhox Reformer

Let’s get two small things and one big thing out of the way first. The two small things are grammar errors. In the second ability, “you gain 1 life for each of that spell’s colors” re:Moonveil Regent, and in the last ability, the if clause should be in the middle. The second big thing is that as a card this is perfectly fine and functional, and as someone who likes lifegain cards, I like this kind of stuff a lot.

Now the big thing: this contest was about taking an underrepresented animal race or a new animal race and making it big. Almost half of the anthropomorphic rhinos from Magic are definitively from the shard of Bant, and this card solidifies its foothold in the established race without really adding much new. On that note, I don’t think there’s much else to say. It’s a fine card that doesn’t fit the prompt. If you have questions, you can message me, but there were other asks clarifying the stance about underrepresentation.

@shakeszx — Warren Sentry

Now, I won’t be remiss to say that I briefly envisioned Redwallian aspects, but these rabbits are much different, and I think your major strength here is that they really do feel like rabbits. In a fantasy sense we think of rabbits as extroverted, high-strung, brash, etc. but IRL they’re quite timid creatures and I feel that from this card’s choices. In terms of mechanical strength, I would’ve pegged this at one more mana, because even in its draft shell this is a little too powerful. I think there might need to be a “Then,” before the if clause, and “Rabbit” should be capitalized. Little odd how the token has no subtype, but anyway.

Let’s talk about flavor mismatch, and hold on, because there’s a lot of good individual parts here, but we need to take the card as a whole and I think there’s enough good to work with here. Firstly, the name. “Sentry” was a choice I’m a little uncertain about, because what does being a sentry have to do with the lands? A ranger or like a borderland watcher, maybe, but a sentry specifically isn’t giving me that feeling of discovery—discovery of an enemy, but not land. The flavor text has something to do with the high grasses, and I’m a little…hm. Grammatically, the second sentence there is hard to grok because the subject of the first sentence are the high grasses, not the “Long-Ears.” Side note: it’s simplistic but I like that name because of the fantasy feel maybe even *for* its simplicity. Anyway. If they’re bewaring the grasses, wouldn’t they be NOT finding things, though? I know, I see the generality of what you were going for, but the parts just don’t click together, especially not with the lengthy name and title down there. It’s fine for an established character on a card but it’s not snappy and asks more questions than it answers in combination with what the above contradictions are already asking of the player.

All of this is a deep picking apart to show how these aspects need to work together instead of separately. This isn’t a criticisms because of massive wrongdoing—there’s just a lot in this card I hope can make for learning material. Because there’s so much goodness here that I want to make better, I’m trying to push your ability. Does that make sense?

@starch255 — Pferden Springer

Well I hope you’re darn proud of yourself. Starting with the flavor, I like this card because it puts me in a mood where the world and set is thrown into focus instantly. A “chess world” might not be the exact mood, but the resonance is game-y enough that I think the greater player base would be delighted. I certainly am! Oh man, the set symbol too, ha. HORSE KNIGHT! I love this card! I think the conflict between the King in White and Queen in Black both subverts the king-vs-king expectation of a chess world while resonating enough, and I can see that the Pferden of this world aren’t an “aligned” race but rather just characters in this place who do what the world demands of them, and that’s a neat character detail.

I feel that the mechanics could use a touch more cleanup, because for a common, I’m not sure that this is the route to take for these abilities. I’d like this card to… Well, honestly, it could even be colorless, def for three mana, but I wouldn’t mind an uncommon that sets up that kind of mechanic where being tapped or untapped changes characteristics. Whether or not the layers like it is one thing, but having the colored mana cost that nixes one of those colors while it’s on the battlefield is…well, it’s weird, and I’m not sure if I like it at common, or if I like it at all. Okay, that’s not entirely true, I do like it, but if I was leading a set, would this be the kind of thing to have at common? Assuming that color plays a role in the larger environment, I’m uncertain. Again, everything else about this horse is a slam dunk. The hemming and hawing all the same is justified for what this card is actually doing in the rules for me. I might be overthinking this.

@stellarlight13 — Assassin Chiropir

This is something I learned recently because I kinda forgot about it, but someone from the judge applications actually reminded me about it: that “if you do” there should be “when you do” because the ability has a target. Aside from that, this is a really solid ability and I actually like this in the draft shell a lot. It’s really powerful if you can manage to select your targets during attacking and have net gain, but additionally you can take out a planeswalker if you don’t have an opportune attack and sacrifice this poor batsassin. I think this is clever! I also enjoy the notion of having a bat race that’s kinda sneaky murdery without the vampire aspect, and it makes them come into their own. Oh! Also, mechanically, I like how if you’re gonna be a sneaky nerd and give it lifelink, you actually have to manage it carefully in order to benefit because once the damage trigger resolves you won’t have the ability to gain that life back. Anyway.

I think the flavor text is, unfortunately, expository to the point of detriment, despite having that window of interest. We know bats are nocturnal, for sure, and I don’t… Well, this is going to sound harsh, but I mean this from a point of criticism as someone to whom you are pitching this idea: I don’t really care in this moment about the “antisocial nature” and how much of a “myth” they are. I want to know why this Chiropir is attacking this figure. I want to know about their motivation, or their mood, or how they feel in the city, or how the city treats them, and this flavor text reads, well, like a textbook, and I want the important flavor. I know that these bats matter to you from the art direction and I know that there’s heart in how the bat attack was chosen to show that. When a card this strong shows the action, I want you to consider what we don’t know about the action as represented by the card. This is additionally a rare, a card that players will have probably seen after sifted through common cards explaining aspects of the city or world. We can reach a bit more here, and I know there’s more under those wings for me to care about. I do care about this race! I care a lot about this city and the bat-people’s relationship with it! Now show me deeper into the cave with the flavor text. What’s beyond? You’ve got me hooked.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path — Miera Queen (JUDGE PICK)

I was worried about power level, but you know what, I think this is really on the upper end of perfectly awesome. “I’m using my ants to turn you into food, and then I’m the only one able to turn them foods into more ants to eat you with!” Or, “with which to eat you,” but whatever, ants don’t care about grammar any more than they care about anything other than turning you into food. I don’t feel a sense of this race in the greater world, but you know what, I don’t think I have to for this particular card. Why?

Because this is an absolutely amazing top-down design. Stellar, really, the best that you could ask for from a queen. Some might ask to make her a mechanical lord, but that’s not her function: her function is to send ants to make food and make food into ants, and that’s what she does, and without her the colony can’t make more ants or food. Like, that just makes sense! And two of her means double the food harvest, but you won’t get any more ants per food, and that’s an interesting mathematical angle that maybe I’m reading too much into but frankly I don’t care. This card feels exactly like how it should. The “Miera” (heh, I’m picking up what you’re putting down) are probably deep and complex and ant-y and have a role on this plane, but here, they’re just ants, through and through, and this is a great go-to example of top-down design. Well, once you change “Food” to “Foods” in the second ability. I know, I know, but that’s the terminology.

@wolkemesser — Chelonian Shore-Chief

I swore I had seen that name on a card, “Chelonian,” because it was an equipment, right? It was the Chelonian Morningstar—but then I remembered, that’s from Kingdom of Loathing, the other game, and not this one. So! I think that this card is interesting as a corner case. The mechanical wariness I have is that it’s kind of a Ward Lord, and there’s nothing wrong with that as a one-off, but would that be the theme of a set? How much ward as-fan do you want? Maybe this card can be a random build-around, and you know what, whatever, I’m not NOT a fan of that. There’s not much ward in the world right now but that’s okay if you want to make more of it.

Flavorfully… Well, I don’t get too much out of the world here, but imagining a race of turtle-people with this kind of protective magic isn’t that hard, so I’m down, I suppose. Again, this card isn’t pushing the envelope, but the tropes that it’s playing into aren’t lighting me up, and as far as functionality goes, everything is solid enough. I think the question in this case is, as much as I’m not sure how to answer: how could this card have been made into a winner? And honestly, I don’t know exactly. In terms of uniqueness, there were a couple turtles, and the most commendable one was a surprise feel for how turtles should go. So here’s a suggestion, if this is indeed the commentary you’re looking for, considering that the rest of the bases are covered: when you have a couple cards that meet expectations, find ways to subvert them. Find something surprising, something different, because sometimes that’s the place that’ll create a breakthrough.

Alrighty! Thank you all for your entries. Enjoy creating, and thank you for reading, and as always you can message me here or on Discord for further clarification.

- @abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #group commentary #animal race contest #inventor's fair

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fishyfod · 4 years ago

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(Slightly) more organized thoughts on the V8 finale.

tl;dr I think the finale had some issues.

I’ll start this off by emphasizing again that this is my opinion, so read something else if you can’t handle negative criticism of RWBY. I say this because too often people in this FNDM can’t handle a difference in opinion without insulting or patronizing others, and I want none of that.

Now, RWBY’s general structural issue is a lack of time to fulfill all their ambitions, and they usually tend to neglect one aspect a bit more than others. In volumes 7 and 8 this proved to be quite a problem, because they wanted to tell quite a complicated story while introducing a fairly large amount of new and returning characters. I very much like the story they told in these volumes, but it must be said that the development and focus on the regular cast, and team RWBY in particular, has suffered for it. It’s not a deal breaker for me personally, but I do think it’s an issue.

So when I saw the finale episode only had about 20 minutes, I figured the best course of choice for RWBY would be to focus on the Atlas-only plots, and leave RWBY & co’s stories for the next volume, which by all accounts seems to be focused only on their character. And credit where credit is due, this is what RWBY decided to do with this finale. This doesn’t really solve the underlying issue that the main cast has yet again been relegated to such a minor role in their own show, but I can live with it.

I still do have a problem with how RWBY’s role in this finale was handled, and forgive me because this might be the least well-explained part of this review. The best way to describe it would be that, though I know I’m watching team RWBY, they don’t feel present in the finale? I struggle to put my finger on it, if it’s more an issue of direction or execution, but something about RWBY’s fight felt off for me.

By comparison, when I think of the episode before, I don’t have this issue. While the way Yang fell isn’t RWBY’s best execution, the reactions of RWBY to that fall worked quite well. There was individual focus on Yang falling, Blake screaming and raging at it, Weiss’s heart breaking into two, Ruby falling into more despair - the tragedy works because of it. I don’t feel the same about the finale, RWB fall almost as if they’re passerby rather than the main characters.

Again, maybe this is just me, maybe I’ll change my mind later. Whatever.

I think Cinder is the one I’m most satisfied with. She seems in character, she acts a lot like she did in her confident state during Beacon, and I did get the impression Salem knows Cinder is lying to her. I admit that I did not expect this direction for Cinder, it seemed like the right spot to have her break free from Salem, but it’s too early for me to call where her arc is going to.

The only nitpick I have with Cinder is how she offed Arthur. I felt like it could have a little more focus? I get that his death is supposed to feel completely inconsequential, but I wish there was just a little bit more there. Again, only a nitpick.

Vine - I think my opinion on Vine’s death is quite unpopular. It felt too last minute, without enough setup. See, while killing Harriet here would have its own set of issues, she was well developed enough where you could actively feel for her, while also expecting a possible death. I can’t say the same about Vine; Vine is only a teensy bit more developed than Elm, which isn’t a lot. He’s making a huge sacrifice, but the lack of character makes him seem expendable by design. It feels like the writers put all their efforts into threatening Harriet’s life, realized last minute that actually they could a lot more with her character (good call), so they shoved in Vine in her place because they still needed a bomb sacrifice.

On the flip side, three of the Ace Ops surviving and proving once and for all they broke away from Ironwood too, with Harriet and Marrow still alive - that is good. I’m not sure what more they’re planning to do with their characters, but it’s preferable to far worse alternatives I can imagine. We’ll see.

Then there’s Penny. sigh

I’m not sure what I can add that P5, bell or cosmokyrin, and probably a few others haven’t already said, but I don’t think it was well written. The whole body-thing in “Creation”, sure, I can accept that was a difference of interpretation. This? This whole, let’s resurrect Penny, develop her immensely as a character, reaffirm her autonomy multiple times over, avoid multiple deaths, only to die like this?

I know the common comparison people make here is with V3, and I can see where people are coming from. After all, Pyrrha and Penny’s deaths were impactful and tragic there, and most people agree that was well written. What’s the difference here? Some differences in circumstance are worth visiting here.

Penny of the Beacon era, lovable character that she was already, was not the most developed character. At the end of the day, most of what we knew of Penny then was in relation to Ruby - we knew Ruby cared for her a lot, we knew why they bonded, so we had setup as to why her death would impact the Fall so much. It works, because it gave enough focus on her for us to care about, but not overly so where the shocking factor of the Fall wouldn’t work.

With Pyrrha, I think we all knew the signs were there at the end of the day. I’d argue that Pyrrha’s very conception as a character lead to her death, she was just slightly too perfect for us not to expect a tragedy to occur. Importantly, her major arc in V3 sets us up to her death - through her conversation with Ozpin’s gang and Jaune, the introduction of Ember and the soul transfer device, killing Penny - by the time Pyrrha dies you’re prepared for it, and it still hurts. Even if the tragic scenario presented (losing Pyrrha because of the soul transfer) wasn’t the one used, dying because she tried defending the use of those powers from Cinder made sense. It was enough of a switch you weren’t bored because you expected everything to go to plan, but it wasn’t too drastic where you felt completely unprepared for what would happen.

The trouble with how Penny’s death was handled here, is in part because they just kept pushing us to the edge, making us worry about one tragic scenario, another way for Penny to die, only to alleviate our fears - only to kill her off anyway in a completely separate way. It happened so often in these two volumes, when we were already fresh off recognizing Penny wasn’t dead in V3, that rather than feeling like an expected death that is tragic, is feels like they toyed with out perception constantly only because they could. When you raise and lower death flags over and over in such a small amount of time, the tragedy you aimed to convey is lost. Perhaps unintentionally, the point no longer seems to be telling a tragic story, it’s only playing this cruel game of perception with the audience. What’s the joke about Jean Grey in x-men, that she keeps being killed off and resurrected so often it’s hard to care about it all? Is this how I’m supposed to look at Penny, RWBY’s Jean Grey?

Granted, I’m not sure that if they committed to one consistent death threat with Penny and followed through, that necessarily would’ve been better. I’m not sure how I’d think of RWBY if she died from the virus, for example. At least, however, I’d be more confident in saying that was a difference of direction, rather than a difficult writing choice to comprehend.

It’s only fitting I’d talk about Winter now, huh? I think you all know my stance about her as a character, I’d argue that she, Ironwood and Cinder were the best handled characters in these two volumes by a fair margin, but the finale leaves me very conflicted about her.

On the one hand, it’s everything I want. Winter’s confrontation with Ironwood is like a mix of Blake facing off against Adam and Yang confronting Raven, and while not as impactful in terms of storytelling, they do deliver on the same fronts. Winter calls out Ironwood for his lies, establishing once and for all it was by her volition she broke off, her conscience that was always better, and there is something poetic about her gaining the Winter Maiden powers to fulfill her goal of protecting others.

...but I can’t separate this from Penny’s fate. And it frustrates me to no end, because I love her connection to Penny, I made comparisons of how it reminds of Bumbleby’s relationship, it drives their characters forward so much, heck, I like that Penny took a part in taking down Ironwood with Winter, in a sense. But because Penny’s death feels so contrived, its connection to Winter almost cheapens the importance of their relationship with each other. And it doesn’t seem quite needed either, since they individually as characters already broke free from Ironwood.

I can sort of see that I am supposed to interpret it as a tragedy, and I do indeed think Winter getting the Maiden powers is tragic for her character (not unlike Spring Maiden!Yang theories), and I am excited to see where this is going. I thought this was the end for Winter’s major impact on the story, but there’s a whole other arc waiting, and Penny’s a major part of it too.

To say I’m conflicted about Winter would be an understatement.

The actual silver lining, for me, is the post credit scene. Volume 9 is an opportunity for RWBY to try and change some of the problem I presented initially. My hope is that by focusing almost exclusively on team RWBY, with Jaune and Neo, and putting less emphasis on developing the settings of giant-tree-land and not over-complicating the plot. Hopefully, this would allow them to focus on developing the main cast again, in in particular addressing some of the main issues presented; notably, the Bees confessing, Ruby maybe reaching her breaking point, Yang’s issues being addressed, and hopefully something more individual for Blake and Weiss as well. Neo is an interesting curveball to throw into this equation, and I have a decent amount of hope with Jaune (although then I remember it’s probably going to be about Penny, and, ugh...).

Yeah, that’s all I have at the moment. If you want to talk about it, my inbox and DM’s are always open. If you disagree with me that’s fair, just give me the minimal amount of respect rather than being an ass about it.

#RWBY/#RWBY Spoilers/#RWBY Crit #RWDE #my posts

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redjennies · 4 years ago

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okay so I'm making this post because I want to clarify that my general desire to not engage with discourse isn't because I think it's all stupid, but instead stems from the fact that:

I don't think I'm particularly good at coherently and efficiently explaining my political and social views to an audience of 1000+ people and i am better expressing my beliefs in one on one or just smaller conversations.

a lot of it ends up being too topical and heated for me to engage with in the way that I enjoy approaching and critiquing media. I have a few hot button topics as we've seen me go off about, but mostly I tend to take a more large scale approach to critiqing media. unless it's truly egregious, in which case I tend to not engage with media that truly offends me, I generally don't tend to really feel as strongly about "character/actor/writer/etc bad" as "okay what does this say about [related social issues] on the whole." nitpicking a single person or media for the sake of being mad or disliking something isn't interesting to me because I feel like it places too much on "bad apples" instead of wider issues.

however, as it's not some stupid conspiracy theory or like just ridiculously hateful, I do believe thoughtfully critiquing the cast and story of Critical Role is fair game. while I like to remind people that a lot of things are improvised and it is a game and that should factor into our analysis as opposed to how we might judge a scripted show, I don't usually agree with the "it's just a game" sentiment. it is a piece of media and a company and that makes it fair grounds for criticism and with a company like CR that does seem to be at least somewhat in touch with its fanbase and does appear to care about social issues even if they are flawed people who are going to make mistakes, critiquing the show could be used for good.

for instance, the blowback about the "planned aging of Jester" was so big that it reached Matt and he felt he needed to addressed it. now as I said, that was a very stupid conspiracy theory and I'm annoyed at the fandom's behavior that Matt even had to say that, but there's another discourse going around about Beau's skin tone in the new official art that is a valid concern (I admittedly originally thought it was just closer to her lvl2 skin tone than lvl 10 but a side by side comparison does reveal it is noticeably lighter) if it reached the cast might lead to them correcting something I think people have a right to be upset about. it's also not a ridiculously hard fix. I'm not some amazing professional level artist and I personally understand skin tones can be hard and more nuanced than "just use a color dropper," but I've personally had moments after posting art where I decided that I thought the tone of Veth's skin was lighter than I'd like and fixed it. if I can do it for free, a profitable company and the artists they pay can too.

even on the topic of Jester and age gaps, personally, I find it repugnant to headcanon Jester as 20/21 and ship her with Fjord or Caleb. that is something I find really gross when I come across it and am not going to defend in the slightest. however, it was never officially canon and there's just as many reasons to believe Jester is in her mid-twenties and was just sheltered for most of her life as there are for believing Jester is in her very early twenties. I do want to clarify that position because it is something I feel strongly about and sympathize with people who do see her as young and are bothered by that. my mockery is regarding the idea that the cast specifically planned to go through a bunch of insane bullshit in order to age Jester up for the plot when they clearly didn't. if Laura and Travis were so bothered by a huge age gap between Fjord and Jester, they literally at any point could have just finally said Jester's 25 (or was until last night) and Fjord's 30 and been done with it, and frankly I wish they would have because Fjord potentially being over ten years older than a 20 year old woman is this uncomfortable possible interpretation of a romance that I don't blame people for having even though I never saw her character like that.

and that's kind of my point, bad discourse often obfuscates more valid concerns to the point where people feel they can't talk about these things without coming across as haters or being lumped in with people who are saying wild bullshit. I think for the most part, people are saying normal reasonable opinions but it keeps being overwhelmed with bad faith nonsense and that's why I don't like to engage with it. it's not fun and it goes nowhere.

#cr spoilers #just thoughts really #cr discourse #the drama

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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

Text

Name (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x fem!Reader

Anon asked: “suggestion for Todoroki angst : he got in an arranged marriage with S/O because of his dad who offered a large amount of money to her family for this. Indeed it’s not what they are both looking for but Todoroki really acts cold, is sharp, openly criticizes her (a bit OOC ik) ... S/O is hurt but is still trying to be a good wife around the house to make the best of the situation and hide her insecurities. It’s just an idea, if it does not inspire you I hope you will find something better!! xx

Genre: Angst. Just...angst. I’m so sorry in advance plz don’t hate me

Warnings: Grab your tissues, this is a long roller coaster that’s only going downhill OH GOD I’M SO SORRY

Word count: 3,059

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: (Submission 1/3 for my post asking for todo angst ideas! Thanks for the ask anon!)

Um. This is...depressing. Really depressing and really intense. I didn’t expect it would turn out this way. But it did. I had 2 other endings, but I instinctively wrote this one. I actually had to stop and cry for a few minutes because it was just really painful I mean, I know I said I was ready to but I didn’t actually mEAn it

I tried a different style for this, but I think it suits the story well. It’s 3rd person limited because I wanted you to experience everyone’s feelings in this (gotta maximize on the angst yknow) and half past tense bc of reasons you’ll find out.

God I’m afraid to post this. Is it bad that I love it, I honestly spent so much time writing this, but it hurts sO mUch?? Y’all are gonna hate me, you’re gonna kill me, oh no, just read the thing already, I’m hiding.

Buy me a coffee?

Shoto didn't know how to react to the news. It's not that he had his eye on anyone in particular, or that he was even interested in marriage for that matter. But because he proposed it, the man who had spent his entire childhood controlling every aspect of his life, he refused to accept any other intrusions from the man he should call "father."

The strange man across from his father spoke those words so casually. "So Endeavor, when are these two tying the knot?"

At first, he thought he had misheard or misunderstood. And then his father responded just as casually, "The date is set for next month."

The normally calm and collected boy almost burst the entire room into flames. He clenched the silverware so hard his knuckles turned white and his teeth ground together, but he couldn't say anything in front of his father's guest and his daughter for fear of shaming himself. The girl across from him offered a sympathetic look, but he turned away, already preparing the earful he's going to give his father.

"I want nothing to do with this!" he whirled on Endeavor as soon as they were home. "You've made my life a living hell controlling every single thing! And now you even want to control my marriage?!"

"I'm doing this for you!" Endeavor bellowed right back. "For the Todoroki name! For your future!"

"This is all for you! I want no part-!"

"If you don't agree, you'll never see your mother or the siblings again."

The calm threat was enough to drench Shoto's wrath into submissive fear. The flaming monster in front of him proved once again that he hasn't an ounce of sympathy for his blood. He's learned that family is the only thing keeping his son under his thumb and he still actively exploits that weakness.

All the boy can do is swallow and walk away, retreating to the outside world to escape his bitter reality even temporarily. Shoto doesn't have outbursts often, but there are times when the straw finally breaks the camel's back, and this is one of them. All he can do is run until he can't run anymore, reaching somewhere secluded enough where he can burst out in flames and ice without hurting anyone, finally getting to a forest where he can do exactly that and scream to his heart's content. It's the only thing he can do that is under his own control.

In the month that followed up to the wedding, Shoto barely spoke a word to anyone, choosing to isolate himself. He only came out when he absolutely had to show his face at functions to the bride's family and look presentable. His mind was always absent, the time flying in a blur of colors and white. Thankfully, his father did the preparations, so all he had to do was go along with everything. Shoto was simply playing a role in a play or movie, he was an actor who deserved an award for being in character for a month.

The night of the wedding, he and his newly-wedded wife were whisked away to their new home, being alone for the first time together. He didn't even know what she looked like nor did he care. As soon as they walked through the door of their already-furnished house, he released a heavy breath, brushed past her, unbuttoned his tuxedo, and - cold as his ice quirk - instructed, "I'm going to bed. Don't come up tonight." It was the first time he had ever spoken directly to her.

His wife, through this entire ordeal, was patient with him. She didn't want this arrangement either, but she figured they could at least talk and come to a mutual agreement. The entire month, she never pushed him to speak to her. She anticipated that he would be rational about this, as she was told by her family, and that they would be able to talk things over when they were finally alone. Just as she was going to speak her mind the way she had rehearsed it many times, he dismissed her. She was hurt, but she understood. He's exhausted after a whole month of stress and preparations, she rationalized, He just wants to rest. I wouldn't want to talk to a stranger after all that either.

Resolving to try again tomorrow morning, she undressed (with great difficulty), crept into the master bedroom for her clothes while Shoto showers, retrieved her pajamas quietly, and retreated back to the living room. The girl searched all the closets for a thick enough blanket and settles down to sleep on a couch, the exhaustion putting her right to sleep.

The next morning, the new Mrs. Todoroki woke up bright and early to make breakfast for her husband as an olive branch. She toiled away in the kitchen, somewhat making a racket even though she wanted to stay quiet so Shoto can sleep. Just as she finished setting the table and had to face the question of how to wake him, the boy padded down from the room.

"Oh, morning!" she smiled brightly at him.

He murmured a greeting back only to be polite, his face devoid of any real emotions other than coldness. He sat as far away from her a possible, thanking her for the meal halfheartedly and digging in without another word.

After waiting a few moments to let him satisfy his hunger, she cleared her throat. "So, um-"

"Your tamagoyaki needs more soy sauce and butter," he stated bluntly.

She blinked at the harsh comment. It was shocking he said anything to her at all, and the first thing he said was an insult.

"And the miso has no flavor," he continued in the same tone.

The girl finally gathered her wits. "I'll do better tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback, I guess?" she laughed nervously, trying to erase the immense tension Shoto bled into the atmosphere. When he didn't respond, she tried again. "I know this isn't something either of us wanted, but that doesn't mean we have to live here like enemies. We could be friends, or even just roommates!"

"I'd rather be strangers," he interjected harshly.

It felt like a stab in the heart. Here she was, trying to make their lives somewhat bearable together through their common misfortune, and all he wanted to do was live like ghosts in the same house.

Shoto placed his chopsticks down firmly, glaring her straight in the eyes with the iciest hatred she's ever seen. "Just to be clear, I want no part of you. You live your life and I live mine. You can have the bedroom to sleep at night if you want, but it's mine when I come home to shower and prepare for bed. We will not sleep, talk, or breathe near each other as long as we are in this house."

She dipped her head in defeat, unable to bear the weight of his stare. "C-Can we at least have our meals together?" she asked feebly.

It's something he respected, coming from family values no matter how broken. It's the only exception he made to their less-than relationship.

Months passed and she kept her end of the bargain through a suffocating routine. At first, the girl was kind, trying to get him to open up to her somehow without overstepping her boundaries. She made excuses for him constantly. He's just tired. The least I can do is leave him alone. I can't comfort him anyway, I'm a stranger. He's still upset about the whole thing, he'll come around. She even begged her boss to let her leave a little early every day to make sure she had ample amount of time to get home, shower, and prepare dinner before Shoto returned. When he did, he wordlessly showered, sat down to dinner, nitpicked at her cooking, finished eating, and went to sleep on the living room couch, all without even sparing her a glance.

But as every day passed, she grew more weary and worn in her efforts to please him. She tried to fix every little complaint Shoto had about her cooking or the cleanliness of the house or the laundry, but nothing seemed to satisfy him. She tried to hold onto the silver lining. At least he never touched me wrong or took advantage of me, she would think bitterly. He has the decency not to take his anger out on me.

Then the dark thoughts closed in as he continued ignoring her. Surely, Shoto's only disgusted with his father, he doesn't harbor hatred for her personally. Then she would remember the hate and disgust in his mismatched eyes the first day of their marriage. She realized no matter how desperately she tried, he wouldn't show her any signs of warmth or appreciation. No more did she try to make conversation with him during meals or greet him when he came home. There were days she thought, Why should I even try? He wouldn't like it either way. What's the point of getting up today? Maybe he'll even criticize how I sleep. But she still rose out of bed every morning and carried out her routine because it could always be worse.

A sliver of hope came in the form of Shoto's birthday. The girl figured if she did something just a little special, he would acknowledge her even the tiniest bit. She spent days beforehand researching and testing out the perfect cold soba recipe because she knew it was his favorite. She lit some candles on the table and bought a small cake for them to share.

When he came home, she was sure he would notice and say something, but he didn't; he went straight up to the bathroom as he usually did without a word. Though she felt the glimmer lessen in her heart, she didn't give up. For the first time in a while, she verbalized her thoughts to him.

"I made your favorite for your birthday!" she chirped as he sat down, setting the plate and a cup of dipping sauce in front of him. She was so eager for him to try it because she was confident she'd gotten it right this time. If she were a dog, her tail would've wagged in anticipation as he slurped the noodles into his mouth. She waited patiently for his feedback, leaning forward in excitement as he swallowed.

"The noodles are slightly overcooked. And the dipping sauce is too strong, you didn't add enough water."

Her hopes came crashing to a halt. She couldn't even muster anything else to say as he hastily finished his dinner and rose to leave.

She stood up, heart hammering in her chest. "What about the cake?" Anything, something!

"I don't want it." He turned his back to her.

"I got it for you!" It was the first time she explicitly stated her intentions, the first time she made herself vulnerable.

"You shouldn't have gotten it at all. It was a waste of time. Why did you even try?" The calm and cold words stung her as he got up and left her in the dining room alone.

His words echoed against the empty walls of the dining room. She looked down at the cake he disregarded, feeling cold and dizzy. She took a shaky breath in and out before resting her head on the cold glass table to stabilize herself. The voice stabs through her even as she closed her eyes to block them out.

It was then she felt bluntly in her mind. He hates me.

The girl feels nothing but numbing cold, both on her face and inside. Rolling up to sit, her neck and back cry out in soreness from sleeping on the table, pale light greeting her from the nearby window. Her face feels strange, and she trudges to the bathroom mirror to check why. She knows she should be preparing for work, but what's the point? Her reflection reveals lines across her cheek, probably from sleeping on the edge of the table. She shuffles to the kitchen because she should probably start breakfast, but why should she? Leaning against the counter, she can't bring herself to move anywhere. Her brain buffers as she tries to force herself to think of what to do now. She doesn't feel sick, but there's a dull, cool feeling in her limbs that she can't face.

The phone rings, catching her off guard. Glancing at the number, she doesn't hesitate to answer. "Hello?"

"Hi, baby. It's me."

Her eyebrows relax, appreciating the sound of a familiar voice. "Hey, Mom. What's up?" She knows her voice sounds weak, she's hoping the woman can't hear it.

"I'm just checking in, you haven't called in a while. Is something up? You don't sound good."

"I'm...fine," she stumbles over the word. "How's dad?"

"He's doing well. You sure you're not sick, sweetie?"

"I'm not." She leans her back on the counter.

"Is Shoto there? How is he?"

And just like that, she feels something dislodge in her throat. "He's going to work, he probably left early." She doesn't know, there hasn't been any rustling in the house.

Her mom is silent for a while. "Tell me the truth. What happened?"

The sound of her mother's stern voice moves something in her chest. "It's nothing, I just made a mistake."

"Doing what?"

"I tried making Shoto's favorite dish for his birthday yesterday. I put so much time and energy into perfecting it for him to enjoy it, but I fell short again." She laughs bitterly, tears starting to fill her eyes. "He didn't even want the cake I got for him, he said it was a waste. I shouldn't have bothered with it." She blinks and a tear slides down her face. "I don't know why I was expecting something different to happen, I'm so stupid."

"Honey, where is this coming from? What's going on?"

She wipes her face, but more spill out of her eyes as she slides down the cabinet onto the cold floor. "It's just a little frustrating when you're sharing a house with someone you're married to and they barely acknowledge you. I mean, I expected there to be problems at first given the circumstances, but I didn't expect this." Her voice shakes with every word. "God, what did I do to deserve this? I've lived in this house for 5 months, and never has he even said 'thank you' to me. Hasn't breathed a word of appreciation to me. I do so much for him. I've bent over backwards for him just to make everything done the way he wants it, I've worked my entire routine, my entire life in this house to cater to him, but all he does is complain!" She sobs into the phone, curling up into a ball as tremors wrack through her body. "I'm just so tired. I don't know how much more I can take. I've made so many excuses for him, but I just can't do anything right. Why am I even still here?"

Her mother is silent on the other line. "My baby, if I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have allowed this marriage. I can't believe you're going through this."

The girl can't formulate words or think anything coherent. She drops the phone out of her hand, wrapping her legs to her chest as the tremors continue in waves, muffled whimpers the only thing escaping her lips because she's afraid to cry out loud despite being in an empty, lonely house.

Shoto heard something he probably shouldn't have, but he definitely needed to hear. It bothered him for the rest of the day. It was a sobering slap in the face that made him feel shame and regret, a hard-to-swallow pill that sat in his stomach the entire day.

On his way back home, the sound of her sobs echoes in his mind. He curses his behavior from the past few months. At the very least, he made a lady cry, and at the most, he's been a complete asshole. It's all his fault, that is something he's completely aware of and is ready to take full responsibility for. All this time, he was stupidly neglecting her out of spite for his father, but he broke her in the process. He's angry that he had to hear her crying to realize that. The only thing he can do now is hurry home to profusely apologize for what he's done and hope they can start over new and she forgives him, which he's prepared for her not to do.

Honestly, he deserves all the hate from her that he's shown her. After everything she's done for him and all the effort she's put into their imbalanced relationship, he wouldn't be surprised if she yelled at him and called him all sorts of names.

Shoto walks through the door, the atmosphere different. The house is quiet as usual, but it's more eerie than he remembers, as if that means anything with how aloof he was. He slips into the bedroom and changes quickly, returning back to the quiet dining room where his dinner waits for him at his place.

He tentatively sits and spares a quick glance at the girl who's supposed to be his wife. Her eyes are still puffy and she's tugging at her sleeves. It seems she's avoiding him and he was avoiding her before. He questions how things should start. When is the right time to speak his piece. Would she listen to him now? He decides to take a bite first and chews slowly. I guess a 'thank you' is a good place to start-

"We're getting a divorce."

He stops suddenly, almost choking.

"You don't owe me anything, and I don't want anything from you." She isn't looking at him, voice calm and collected. "Besides, it's better this way since it's what you wanted." She rises from her seat smoothly. "I've already packed for the next few nights. I'll have some workers come in the following weeks to clear out the rest, and the papers will be delivered promptly." Her footsteps recede from the room.

Shoto turns around to call out to her, and his minds comes up blank.

He never even bothered to remember her name.

Sequel?

Sequel!

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki angst #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #female reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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chessiesystem · 4 years ago

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StEx Appreciation Month, Day 31: Nitpicks

SO, I have a LOT of nitpicks about literally every aspect of the show, like I could go on and on, but then this post would be the embodiment of this gif:

So for today I’m just going to focus on costume nitpicks! Like with everything in the show I have an ideal version of everyone’s costume/wig/makeup, so today I’ll just go over my main nitpicks with the various costumes and post my favorite versions!

Obligatory JapanAus picture because those tours overall had the BEST costume aesthetics.

Let’s get started:

(Also just to go ahead and get this out of the way, this post is almost completely ignoring the 2018 redesigns, like. Those don’t live in my head. I’ll just be focusing on the Broadway/Bochum/tour designs.)

Rusty:

Okay so with Rusty my main nitpick is!!! That stupid empty black space that’s above his chest plate in SO many of the costumes!! Like WHY is that there?! Here’s a good picture of it:

It drives me absolutely insane aljsldf. Luckily Bochum eventually corrected this but that it was ever there drives me up a wall.

Another nitpick is his headband… I can tolerate it when it’s paired with the hat, but I can’t stand it on its own, it just looks ugly to me. And speaking of his hat, I love most versions of it, EXCEPT for the New Starlight Express one where it was styled after a baseball cap. That bothers me on a level I don’t even fully understand alsjflds.

Anyway, I think overall my favorite version of Rusty’s costume is the 2018 version… I think the silhouette looks strange, especially from the side, like kind of too baggy? But overall it’s really cute, I love the colors and the new chest plate design, and the HAT. Also really like the new makeup!! It was looking rough for a minute lmao.

This is Peak Performance (not the Pearl…definitely not the Pearl):

Pearl:

Being as I’m in love with most of Pearl’s costumes I actually don’t have a ton of nitpicks. I think my main one is that I’m not a fan of the salmon/gold tones that were sometimes used for the bodice. For example:

I think moreso than the costumes I’m critical of Pearl’s wigs. I HATE when she has straight wigs… the only exception to this rule is Stephanie Lawrence’s and Nikki Belsher’s because those wigs were also big and fluffy. But that lanky thing Bochum had in the early 2000s? Terrible. Pearl should have big, dramatic curls. Also, this should go without saying but her hair should be PINK. Blonde Pearl actually gives me acid reflux.

Also I don’t think much attention is given to her headpiece, but I really love when they’re big and princess-y. Like, this headpiece with these earrings? I love:

As far as a favorite Pearl costume, that’s really hard because I love so many of them, but I’ll say this one. I think it’s a nice balance of pink and white:

Greaseball:

I don’t have a ton of nitpicks about Greaseball’s costume… like, it fucks pretty hard? I moreso have beef with his makeup. NONE of these men know how to blend and it looks terrible. I get that it might be a stage makeup thing that looks better under stage lights but I still don’t even really buy that because every other character blends?? Also, I don’t like how the makeup is just contouring… I get that it’s to make the actors look more masculine, which does suit Greaseball’s character, but PLEASE give that diesel some character makeup!!

I really stan the Broadway makeup for this reason. Look at this Jareth-looking bitch, he looks amazing! And it’s just SO cool:

Idk even this London makeup is pretty okay imo… anything to make him more visually interesting 😭:

Dinah:

My main gripe with Dinah’s costume will forever and always be the apron lmao. I’m very, very picky about it because it’s SO easy to make look tacky as hell. The 2018 apron is the ugliest its ever been, I’m sorry:

LIKE WHY IS IT SO BIG AND LONG. Also the silver strap around her chest is WAY too high now. I swear they tried to make the 2018 coaches more modest in the ugliest ways possible. But anyway.

I prefer for the apron to only be beneath the belt, but if it also has to be above the belt I can tolerate it if its small, like the Broadway design or the earlier Bochum designs. I also prefer when her leggings are on the more silver/metallic side than just straight up blue. Broadway and Japan-Australia had the right idea with how metallic they made everyone look.

As far as Bochum goes, I feel like the costume’s peak was from like 1997 to 2007:

PERSONALLY, though, my ideal Dinah costume would be Debbie Wake’s from the Japan tours. The color, the leggings, the wig, it’s all so… Peak! I also really love how the top of her skirt is divided into sections?? It’s really cute. The only thing I’d change is I’d remove the part of the apron that reaches above the belt and adjust the color of her wig. But otherwise I love this one so much 🥺🥺🥺:

Electra:

I have a lot of very disjointed thoughts on Electra’s costume, but bottom line is I’m rarely content with it… but my MAIN nitpick is definitely the color scheme. I know that it’s intended to be blue/red/silver but instead it often looks blue/red/white to me and I just CANNOT dissociate that from the American flag/overzealous patriotism alsjdlf, it kind of gives me heartburn. I’ve seen some fan redesigns of the costume that incorporate a blue/red/gold color scheme instead and I think that could REALLY fuck, though I don’t know how it’d translate to the stage/irl. Or just?? Design his palette after the bi flag colors??

Another nitpick is how boxy and bulky his chest box often is. I feel like I can’t criticize this TOO harshly because, in my opinion, this musical should be FIRMLY 80s, and that’s probably what counted as “futuristic” in the 80s, but it’s just a personal preference of mine that I wish his chest piece was more slender and streamlined. I think it’d make the silhouette better and just?? Look better??

I also don’t like most of the mohawk wigs… they just look… VERY cheap and fake to me most of the time. I prefer the looser/wilder wigs because they look softer and more natural.

ANYWAY I’ve found that the costume that actually sates most of these complaints for me is the Japan-Australia costume. The palette actually looks blue, red, and SILVER to me, and the body suit is just?? Sooo shiny and metallic and sparkly?? It’s so pretty. The wig is a perfect balance of the looser/wilder London wigs and the early mohawk wigs, and the MAKEUP is so good, it’s the only time I’ve seen a silvery/metallic base on Electra work and NOT whitewash the fuck out of the actor. Not to mention the base in JapanAus matched the body suit REALLY well and aaaah idk I could wax poetic about this costume all night aljsfld it’s really good and I appreciate it for being the, like, one (1) Electra costume I vibe with 😭.

Again, I’d streamline the chest box if I could but overall? This is peak performance:

CB:

Off the bat I’ll say I hate how big his shoulder boxes have gotten over the years. Like they are just ridiculously massive, it looks kind of awkward when the actors can’t even rest their arms by their sides due to it. They look like little kids wearing arm floats. Also not a fan of how much lower the neckline has gotten, and how much smaller the bandana has gotten?? His chest and neck are SO exposed now when they use to be completely covered and it irks the hell out of me.

Funnily, this one picture pretty clearly displays all three of these nitpicks:

Compare this to back when the neckline was higher/the bandana larger, he’s completely covered. He also isn’t fucking DROWNING in his shoulder boxes:

Also not a fan of the hair piece Bochum has used in recent years. Like it was just so much cuter when the actors used their real hair :^//. And I just Do Not Vibe with how straight and neat the hair piece is, CB has wild, curly hair and I’ll die on that hill.

ALSO, and this is more specific to just one actor, but I kind of hate Dan Ellison’s makeup aljsldf. Like it’s well done but it just has far too much going on. All what CB needs done is his cheeks, his eyes, and his lips— all that extra that Dan does on his jawline and with the laugh lines around his mouth and eyes is just… too much. And it frustrates me so much because he would be SO much cuter if he went with a simpler makeup!! Ugh. But anyway.

This was 100% the makeup at its best, like. Absolutely peak, thank you Thierry Gondet:

And my favorite costume comes from the 1990 Japan tour. I ADORE how this chest box is fitted and designed, and it just looks so shiny and red? Like it was freshly washed and painted 😭. Not to mention the red contour on his temples is kind of a Look:

The only thing I’d adjust is I’d give him the suspenders present in most of his costumes, because they’re honestly adorable. And, of course, he needs his Chessie System sticker. But otherwise? This is Peak Performance.

Okay I was gonna do more but this thing is fuckoff long as it is, so I’ll just stick to the Big Six. If you made it this far you’re a trooper, thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings aljsldfs.

#stex appreciation month #starlight express #stex rusty #stex pearl #stex greaseball #stex dinah #stex electra #stex cb #naph.txt #THIS IS SO LONG ALJKSLFDS I'M SORRY

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 6 years ago

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Enter the Kitsune - Prologue pt5

Warnings: Strong language

Masterlist

—

Prologue part 5

“Aerion! Where are you!? Come out!” A familiar angry voice barked into the night. Hideyoshi?

Sasuke’s expression turned grim as he also heard the call along with the sound of approaching horses. He dropped his hand saying nothing and slipped into the shadows of the forest as if he had melted. Huh? Great, you get to play ninja and I get to what? Take one for the team? This is seriously so not my night. Just as I let out a deep sigh in resignation two horses crashed through the undergrowth appearing near me. One of the riders was clearly a less than impressed Hideyoshi. “I searched the whole forest for you.”

“Did you? I would ask you how you enjoyed your trip but from the look on your face, I’d say it was self-explanatory. Besides that, I never asked you to search for me.” Any sympathy I may have had was dissolved like my vanishing ninja ally, leaving behind it frustrated sarcasm.

“You really are an outspoken woman. Hiding yourself from Lord Nobunaga for no reason whatsoever as well. How insolent can you get?” He looked to be a little relieved to have found me but I seriously don’t think it was out of concern for me.

“How can you say I had no reason? You were there he asked me to conquer the world with him. Apart from that sounding like the start of a very generic movie villain’s dialogue. It didn’t exactly look like him asking me was anything more than a fancy way to just order me into submission!” I barked back at the puffed up Hideyoshi who was giving me a look that could have crushed me from his height on that horse.

The man on the other horse cackled in amusement his laughter sounding out of place given the mood.

“You’re Aerion? A stalwart lass indeed. I’ve no doubt you’re the woman who defied Lord Nobunaga.” The jovial stranger was wearing a golden moon motif that adorned blue and black armour. He had messy short chestnut coloured hair and a singular electric blue eye. The other must have been damaged or missing as he had an eye patch over his left side.

“And who are you supposed to be? Bit early to be playing dress up for Halloween.”

“I’d love to hear more and I’d be happy if you did know who I was, but now’s not the best time to talk.” He reaches down for me smiling without a care for my words.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Let me go!” I wriggled in his grip but the man had still effortlessly scooped me up. I was now sitting uncomfortably on a horse. There were two reasons for that, one was I was sitting quite far up on the horse and the saddle was sticking into me and the other was how close I now was to a complete stranger. From the gap he had put me in, I was locked in place between two strong arms and nestled against his strong chest. I could feel the warmth from him wrapped around me like a shroud. I gripped my bag tight to my chest attempting to distract myself from the much closer view I had of his domineering smile.

“My name is Masamune Date. Remember it, Aerion.” He was clearly having fun with this. If I was in the mood to play games I might not mind but right now all I actually want to do is be left alone.

“Masamune is head of the noble Date family of Oshu. He’s also allied with Lord Nobunaga, so show some respect.” Hideyoshi added more details as he pulled his horse alongside.

“Thank you both for the introduction and the random bit of trivia I am sure will come in very handy during a pub quiz at some point. Can you put me down now?” I tried to move a little but all that happened was the horse whinnied and clopped its hoof. Well hello to you too.

“Settle down. You’ll spook the horse.” Masamune chuckled and moved one hand from the reins bringing it around my shoulder to steady me as he kept me in place on his lap. I suppose to other people seeing this kind of thing in a movie it might look like a romantic prince and princess or the stuff of fairy tales type of thing but honestly, in reality, it’s not.

“Spook the horse!? That’s what you are worried about?” I whipped my head up to glare at him and instantly locked eyes with his singular optic and regretted doing so. I could feel my body tense. If I wasn’t really careful I could so easily get lost in that depth of blue.

“Come to think of it, you look a little spooked to lass.” Masamune teased, urging his horse to move with a snap of the reins and shouting out a command. I was right, he is having fun with this. The horse broke into a run, picking up the pace as the terrain became clearer. The motion forced me back, pressing me towards Masamune. My knuckles turned white holding on to my bag and the saddle as I tried to prevent myself from falling off. My earlier request to be put down and left alone had fallen on deaf ears and my protests were ignored in a similar fashion.

“Don’t lose her, Masamune.” Hideyoshi called out from behind. He wasn’t moving as fast but was still clearly in sight.

“I won’t. Hold on tight, Aerion.”

“I suppose me saying I’m not going is pointless right now?” I tried again to reject the ride to where ever we were going.

“Nobunaga has already departed camp. He ordered you be brought to him.” Hideyoshi’s face hid nothing of his apparent dislike of this order.

“We need to ride fast if we’re gonna catch up. Don’t fall off, now.” Masamune sounded like a kid playing a good game as he gave me a small squeeze on my shoulder talking directly into my ear so I could hear him over the thundering hooves and wind whistling past us.

“Catch up? Catch up to where? Where are we going?” Complaining met nothing but a wall of silence or changes in the subject. Who would have thought the stereotypical “nice weather we’re having isn’t it?” conversation used to pass time in polite society was used back 500 years ago and in a completely different country? Masamune was relentless in his mission. Spurring his horse forward faster and faster, riding through the night until we had apparently reached our destination.

“We’re here, Aerion. Azuchi Castle, home of the Oda forces.” Masamune waved one of his arms out in a grand gesture. I was shaky and saddle sore but I still raised my head to look at where I had been brought. It was a lively place.

The labyrinth of streets was teaming with movement from the inhabitants even at this early time of day. The further we went the more it looked like we were marching forward into a fortress. I hadn’t actually seen a complete one before. I did some summer vacation trips with my parents when I was younger and saw some medieval castle ruins and things but this was something different. I don’t know if its because it was complete and in use or if its because it's in a different country but this place was like a castle in a city encased in a fortress. Fortified stone sheer-faced stone walls wrapped around the large architecture. Water that was forced by man-made manipulations to create a moat and direct clean water supply to the general public. It was actually breathtaking, too bad I was in no mood to enjoy it. As I looked around a yawn snuck up on me before I could cover my mouth.

“Don’t show yourself to Lord Nobunaga with that expression. You look like a gaping frog.” Hideyoshi quickly admonished me.

“Firstly, I was yawning. Secondly, I didn’t agree to see him or anyone else for that matter. And besides all that Hideyoshi you’ve been on my case about every tiny thing since yesterday. I get it you don’t like me so you can drop the constant nitpicking.” I had reached my limit, again. Every time I told myself to just not rise to him, I couldn’t help it. He was so unconstructively critical I just ended up feeling myself bristle at him.

“So, you’re a morning person. I’ll keep that in mind.” Thanks to Masamune’s little joke in my ear I suddenly remember he still had me locked in the saddle in front of him between his arms.

“If we are here you can put me down now.”

“Actually, I think not. I’m pretty happy with you right here.” Masamune moved so he was pressing even closer to me in the saddle.

“Jeez… Well, I’m not!” I lightly slapped his arms which did nothing really but make him chuckle. I guess this guy is the joker in this deck of cards.

“Masamune, our Lord Nobunaga has taken an interest in her. Keep your hands off her.” Hideyoshi spoke up in my defence. Alright, it wasn’t so much in my defence as it was insuring Nobunaga got what he wanted but I was still slightly relieved to have someone else tell Masamune to keep his hands to himself.

“Why does that matter? I like her too. Men don’t thrive in the shadows of other men. In battle, or in love.”

“How poetically obstinate of you. Listen, you two—” I grabbed Masamune’s hand that was snaking its way around my waist holding it in place so it couldn’t wander further. Masamune’s eye flashed like he was completely delighted with my reaction. Great, why do I think this one enjoys a good chase to get his kicks? It's like looking at a predator enjoying playing with its food. Before I could think too hard about that a group of women rushed towards the gates. Speaking of predators…

“Hideyoshi! Welcome back!” The women lined up straining past each other to get a clear view. Excited calls, broad smiles… they practically have hearts popping out their eyes. “Over here, Hideyoshi!” A few were waving their arms their kimono sleeves catching the breeze like flags. “Oh, Masamune, you’re dashing as ever! Who’s your friend?” The women were all clamouring for attention. Seriously what is this Sengoku’s answer to your favourite boy band arriving in an airport?

“How can you get this welcome every single time, Hideyoshi? Break a heart or two, will you?” Masamune looked a little put out. It’s not like you weren’t getting your fair share of glances you know?

“What do you take me for?” Hideyoshi shrugged and dismounted his horse looking for all the world like a knight in a fairy tale. Then made his way to the crowd of hysterical women. “I’ve told you there’s no need to come all the way to the gate for me. What about your work?” His voice was a lot softer than when he spoke to me.

“I finished early so I could see you when you came back.” The replies were accompanied with demure looks and hesitant giggles. Honestly, Can you be any more obvious? “Hideyoshi, will you be staying long? I hope we’ll have time to catch up.” Ok, apparently you can.

“Don’t let me keep you waiting. I’ll send a letter as soon as things settle down.” Hideyoshi gently took one of the women’s hands in his. It was probably a completely innocent and caring gesture but it was being received in a completely different way. Woah what is with that smile and shift in attitude?

“Of course! Take as long as you need!” The women were practically swooning.

“So basically Hideyoshi is a big softie and a heartbreaker and not just a grumpy overbearing paranoid pain in the ass?” I muttered as I watched the scene.

“That is how he normally is. I guess you’re just special.” Masamune shrugged and removed himself from the horse with practised agility.

“I’m sure I’ll remember that later when my head finally stops ringing from his endless lecture on why Lord Nobunaga is great and how he doesn’t see why he is so interested in a wayward little girl like me.” I said sounding bitter.

“Well, Lass it’s not every day you see it. But there aren’t many women who don’t fall for Hideyoshi at first sight. I’d say that makes you different.” Masamune was standing to the side of the horse looking up at me with curiosity. “So, who are you, really?” He moves suddenly removing me from the horse and I’m once more trapped in his arms. His face was close enough for me to feel him breathing on my skin. If this is his idea of a game and he wants to play I’m in no mood.

“Welcome back, Lord Hideyoshi, Lord Masamune.” Mitsunari appeared next to another man. I guess he had travelled back with Nobunaga from the temple. Masamune smiled broadly at the two members of the castles own welcoming party, putting me down so I could stand on the ground properly.

“Even Ieyasu came out to say hi. That’s rare. That sourpuss standing next to Mitsunari is Ieyasu. Why don’t you say hi Aerion?” I felt like I was walking into a setup. Feet finally touching the flat ground it was hard to stop my muscles from screaming at me and the subconscious memory of the lurching movement from riding for so long. Masamune took my hand without a care in the world and walked in front of me clearing a path through Hideyoshi’s throng of admirers stopping by the two men.

“I’ve been expecting your arrival, Lady Aerion.” Mitsunari said smiling like a sunbeam. It’s a shame I have to cast a shadow over it.

“Mitsunari. I don’t have anything further to say to Nobunaga –”

“She looks pitiful.” The surly words cut me off and I looked at the short fluffy blonde-haired man. He had emerald eyes and was dressed in cream and yellow colours. It gave him a much warmer appearance than his biting words. Well, aren’t you a lovely little walking contradiction? He gave me a disapproving frown. “You’re Aerion?”

“That’s right.”

“Ieyasu, that’s no way to greet someone. Can’t you give them a smile, at least?” Hideyoshi addresses Ieyasu with a wry smile. I can only think that he is still stuck a little in his performing monkey role from dealing with that crowd of women.

“Can he? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him do that. Hey Ieyasu. What does your smile look like?” Masamune had his playful teasing tone back.

“Why is that important?” Ieyasu huffed.

“Don’t be unsociable. You need to let loose. Learn to smile and laugh.” Hideyoshi was still smiling as he spoke to the younger man. Ever think to follow some of that advice yourself. Honestly that smile of yours back there was such a shock to me I thought I was having an out of body experience.

“Come on I’ll help. Hideyoshi, you take his left.” Reacting faster than Ieyasu could pull away Masamune grabbed him and began pulling an arm to expose Ieyasu’s side.

“S-stop it! You’re both just annoying me.” Ieyasu scrunched his doll-like face up into a contorted grimace as he scrambled to free himself from Hideyoshi and Masamune’s tickle assault. As amusing as this is the sight of Hideyoshi actually doing something other than a frown or complain is still unsettling. I was watching the three men act like school kids when Mitsunari spoke again.

“Like Lord Masamune, Lord Ieyasu is also allied with Lord Nobunaga. He came at once, hearing the news of the assassination attempt.” Mitsunari’s voice was low enough for me to hear, smiling happily watching the interaction.

“Makes sense. I mean if your Boss is going to be hurt you’d want to be there to prevent it if you could.” I nodded slightly as I spoke still a little lost in whole split personality situation I was seeing.

“Everyone? Shall we save the happy reunion until after our new arrivals get some rest?” Mitsunari called out and clapped his hands together once to gain attention over the ruckus.

“Save yourself, Mitsunari. I’m not remotely happy about any of this.” Ieyasu spat as he was freed from the other two men and was straightening up his clothes. Really because I’d never have been able to tell from your face.

“Oh. My apologies. Then let’s simply not stand around and talk outside.” Mitsunari was apparently oblivious to other people’s use of tone. Happily, clueless he turns to me. “Lady Aerion, the room you’ll be staying in is already prepared. Please, get some rest.” Refusals and protests ignored again. The too sweet to directly say no too Mitsunari ushered me into the castle.

---

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biscuitreviews · 6 years ago

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Biscuit Reviews Assassin’s Creed

I have quite a history with the Assassin’s Creed franchise. I’ve kept up with all of the main line entries and even a couple of the mobile spinoffs. Even though the series has become controversial in some aspects, I find enjoyment in the protagonists, the historical settings, and the whole First Civilization lore. It’s gotten crazier and more outrageous as the years progressed for the series but I think that’s part of charm.

With my wife wanting to see more of the series after playing through Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, I introduced her to some of the previous past entries in the franchise as they’re a lot more polished in the gameplay department. So with that I figured I would go back to the older titles, to see how they have have fared in the passage of time. What better way to view this than playing the original Assassin’s Creed.

I had a lot of fun doing a series overview on Kingdom Hearts, so with ignitied interest of Assassin’s Creed with my homelife I figured I’d go back and do the same for the Assassin’s Creed franchise as well.

I’m going to take it on like I did with Kingdom Hearts, tackle the series in small sprints, rather than all at once.

As for my memories with the original Assassin’s Creed, I remember liking a lot of the ideas of the original. Assassin’s Creed was even the first game I ever wrote a review for and I still have the original copy of that review to this day. Looking back at it now it’s quite a mess and a bit embarrassing but I also gave it a score of an “8 out of 10.” which would translate as a 4 out of 5 in the scale I currently use.

Ok, that’s a fairly high score. Let’s see if I still think that when I revisit the start of the Assassin’s Creed series.

You are Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, an Assassin during the Third Crusades tasked with killing 9 Templars as they are the 9 that know the secret of a powerful artifact that the Assassin’s Order acquired. Although the bulk of the story is experienced during this historical event, you are actually reliving the past. This past is actually part of a simulation in the world of Assassin’s Creed. A man named Desmond is experiencing this past through the Animus, a device that allows the user to witness the lives of their ancestors. Desmond has been captured by a mega corporation known as Abstergo, who is looking for this powerful artifact, known as the Apple of Eden. Abstergo believes that Desmond’s ancestor is the key to finding the Apple of Eden as well as other artifacts left by the First Civilization.

The gameplay for Assassin’s Creed will have Altaïr traveling between three different cities, Damascus, Acre, and Jerusalem to hunt down his targets. Once he reaches this city he will then need to report to the Assassin’s Bureau within that city to get some possible leads on where he can find information on his target. Once acquired, Altair will partake in a series of tasks to learn more about his target. These tasks involve, Eavesdropping, Interrogation, Pickpocketing, and Informant Missions.

You’ll need to complete these tasks to learn more about your target such as their location, recent events they’ve done, assassination opportunities, guard activities, and entry and exit points from the area your target will be in. Although these tasks can feel repetitive, It is awesome that you have to learn about your target and the surrounding area making you feel like an Assassin with a plan. After you commit the Assassination, you then have to escape from the area and return to the Bureau. This was my favorite aspect of original Assassin’s Creed. It’s that rush of having to escape and lose the guards chasing you that can make for some interesting ways to lose them.

Originally the repetition was the only issue that I had with the game so after replaying this game are there any other issues that I might have with game after the series itself has evolved? Yeah, quite a few actually. First, is the way Altaïr moves. He moves incredibly slow and clunky. Even climbing up buildings he’s slow. I understand what Ubisoft was going for at the time, have an Assassin that’s a blade in the crowd to where he is inconspicuous and doesn’t raise suspicion, but when it comes to some of those escape sequences I was talking about earlier, it can be a pain when trying to lose guards on the ground level and trying to get to the rooftops to traverse the city more quickly.

This next issue is rather a personal nitpick of mine, but it’s still something I figured is worth mentioning. There are no subtitles. When I play game I usually like to have subtitles on because there’s a few instances where the VO might say something that I don’t quite catch or pick up. Although there’s no standard or mandate that subtitles need to be present in a game, this was something that was a bit of an issue with me, especially since Assassin's Creed does have fluctuating audio levels. Sometimes you can hear the characters just fine and can understand them no problem, other times, they’re speaking so low and softly that it’s really hard to understand what they’re saying.

Speaking of the audio perspective of this game, Nolan North voices both Desmond and Altaïr in this title and his performance is...not good. He sounds bored when he’s portraying Desmond and when he’s portraying Altaïr, well he sounds like he’s bored but with an edge, he’s edgy bored. Even Kristen Bell who plays Lucy, a woman who tries to help Desmond out, sounds bored with her performance. The only voice actors that sound like they’re giving an effort are Phil Proctor, who voices Warren Vidic, Haaz Sleiman, who voices Malik Al-Sayf, and Peter Renaday, who voices Al-Mualim.

Also the whole, be a blade in crowd aspect, it’s not really present in this one. Sure there are crowds and you’ll have to navigate your way through them sometimes, but you can’t really use the crowd as cover. Instead, it’s more like you’re trying to overcome an obstacle to get to the target. The only time you can hide in the crowd is if you find a group of priests that are praying and that’s it. Even then they’re mostly used to enter places.

Now, I’m not sure if this was a game issue or an Xbox One Backwards Play issue, but I did notice that building walls would occasionally flicker. I don’t remember this ever happening on the Xbox 360 and I wasn’t able to go back to check on this due to the disk tray on my 360 no longer working. I do know that some titles using the Xbox One Backwards Play do have issues so that’s why I’m willing to bet it’s an issue with backwards compatibility rather than the game itself. It’s not game breaking or anything, but can be distracting in some cutscenes.

As for how the game has stood against the test of time, it has not aged very well. The sequels are much faster and various entries made improvements in their own ways which I’ll discuss when I get to those titles. However, if you’re interested in seeing the beginnings of the franchise as well as learn how the science of the Animus works, then it’s definitely worth a visit, just don’t expect much action as this game wasn’t as action focused as any of the sequels. The slowness might be a turnoff for some and that’s understandable, but if you power through it you’ll pick up on some interesting stuff on how this game laid the foundation for the overall lore of the franchise. If you were a fan of the series and haven’t played the original one in awhile I do recommend that you do back to it, you just might be surprised on some of the lore details you pick up on now that the story of Assassin’s Creed has been fleshed out more in the sequels. If you came into the series in one of sequels, my recommendation would be to slowly work back to this title or just simply read up on a plot synopsis online.

Looking back now I don’t quite think it’s that 8 out of 10 my past self gave it in 2007. Honestly, it’s more like a 2 or maybe a 3 out of 5, both scores which I can see.

I can see the 2 because of how rough the gameplay is and how slow and repetitive it is as well as some of the technical issues. However, I can also see a 3 because at it’s time it was a cool unique idea on how to approach the open world genre. Especially with the mark it made on the genre. Some would argue that Assassin’s Creed II left a more lasting impact, and I would agree, but the impact that second game left, would not have been possible, without the first steps of the original title.

As for overall score, I’m going to go for the higher end because I do have a soft spot for this game. I’ll whole heartedly admit that it’s the nostalgia and my fondness for some of the gameplay elements in this game that has me giving it that score. I feel that’s how it is with some of these reviews, especially when critics review a media from their past. There’s going to be that looming essence of nostalgia there and sometimes it can be hard to separate when reviewing these past pieces of media. But, I think if you’re able to admit and see the flaws, it could have you appreciate something from the past more, as well as what has come from those beginnings.

Assassin’s Creed receives a 3 out of 5 (with justification of a 2 out of 5).

#Assassin's Creed #AC #Ubisoft #Altair #xbox #ps #pc #video games #gaming #games #video game review #games review #gaming review #game review #biscuit reviews

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chibalein · 6 years ago

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Kalafina Live Review - 10th Anniversary

Finally it’s available and I watched the whole 10th Anniversary Live (again and again), so I thought I’d give a review on it. Here is my original Live Report -> click. My opinions didn’t really change much, though, so I’ll be repeating myself here and there :p Here we go!

Ring your bell ~ in the silence

I love that intro, especially with those flags opening

other than that, boring entrance -> the 9+ONE intro would have PERFECT for that occasion

Ring your bell

fuck that song

However, I like the performance, surely one of their best, I love their bright smiles and movements

BUT it gave me reminder of why I don’t like this song: the final “ring your bell”s, Wakana always makes me cringe

Quick opinion: I really came to hate Keiko’s dress. Not the colors or the golden/black pattern, that’s pretty cool: it’s those lace shoulder pads and the leather corsage. They make her chest area look super bulky and the chest part of the dress is not form-fitting at all. She has such a beautiful body but this dress just doesn’t support it.

Mirai

Fuck that sooong and everyone who voted for it

But even I have to say, I have a lot of fun watching them perform, they move around, interact with the audience, it’s lovely and more carefree

Lirica

Definitely one highlight of the night

I realized for the first time that the Strings are actually plucking their instruments lol I thought it was a background sound by the manipulator

I barely hear Hikaru in the chorus, is she singing high or low? xD

Keiko is the best here, so deep and dramatic!

Booooring stage show. No movements by the girls is one thing, but no special light show or anything? They could have been so creative with this dark piece..

Manten

OMG some choreography

Wakana is greeeeeat

Yane no mukou ni

First performance where I almost cried during the actual live, perfect and emotional

Still don’t like Hikaru here, she sounds like she is shouting which kills all emotions she might have had while singing

Cool plucking violins at the end, never noticed they do this

Hikari no senritsu

overplaaaayed

OMG light dude, DO SOMETHING

Best flute solo of all time

Quick opinion: all the performances where I criticise the lack of creativity, movement etc. look actually great on the DVD, because we have the cameras. Changing angles, focus on each girl, their faces, the audience and the band give variety and it makes it look a lot more interesting. But sitting in the actual audience is absolutely tiring, because there is just nothing happening on stage. It’s just like you listen to a CD, especially if you had a seat in the far back and could only rely on the screen. Such a shame and waste.

Storia

oh god no

their steps in the middle part are all over the place XD

fun and good performance

Quick opinion: almost all songs by now have been completely or partly illuminated in blue light. Uncreative? Yes.

Natsu no Ringo

Hikaru again sounds strange and shouting, she definitely was edited

Other than that super beautiful performance, Wakana was in top form that night

Serenato

Another big highlight, one of the best performances Kalafina ever did

Actually a nice, refreshing intro by the accordion, but I personally find it kinda dominant throughout the song, which was a bit distracting and which I didn’t really feel in the actual live

ARIA

Hikaru sings lower and I like it a lot, although they definitely enhanced her voice to sound a bit “prettier”

she did such an emotional and sad performance, you could see that is not struggling as hard as e.g. in Red Day

Sprinter

that Keiko hug

finally some action on stage and interaction with fans!

super fun to watch and OMG Keiko is using the pedestal

Oblivious

still bad place in the setlist

great AMV and surely also a highlight, sadly this is the only special treatment for their debut song, should have been celebrated more

Poor Hikaru gets always ignored during WaKei duet lol

Kizuato

Great performance, I adore that song

Keiko’s voice a bit too cute for me here

Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaeteyuku

Keiko’s stupid cutesy voice

Very emotional and those sad faces at the end kill me every time

I just realized that they have sung all Kara no Kyoukai songs in a row XD

Quick opinion: It’s like they only have red, white and green filters, all while the light technician’s finger is apparently stuck on the blue light button. This is BUDOKAN! This is ALL you can deliver?!

Kantankatan

I honestly wonder why this song made it into the setlist. Hyakka Ryouran sure, being their most recent single, but why this B-side song (and e.g. why not Tombo?). Since fans couldn’t vote for it, it makes me think that the girls just really love this song and wanted it included in their last recorded live performance.

Wakana is simply perfect, Hikaru... well... she’s there. Where has her “neverending” voice gone to?

Where is the second violin dude? Toilet break?

This song becomes so much better when the Strings join in the last part

Symphonia

I still hate Keiko’s dress

omg girls, please move around or something

good and nice performance

Red Moon

finally SOME DARK SONG and finally something for the eye with the video

Hikaru still sounds kinda weak, but during the actual live she was barely audible, so I guess that’s a plus here

Keiko is amazing, you can hear her so clearly! Wakana too! Epic performance

Waaaaay too much blue for a song called Red Moon

Adore

Flashback to After Eden with Red Moon -> Adore xD

Wakana is suuuper!

What the hell is wrong with you Hikaru? What happened after After Eden? She’s sooo shouty, this is definitely her weakest performance of the night

Great violin solo

OMG they use the pedestals FOR THE FIRST TIME and they use it for GODDAMN 12 SECONDS

And I noticed they actually played some video -> good!

To the beginning

finally after way too long, an upbeat song since Sprinter (which is 6 songs ago)

It took me years to realize that they sing “down to zero we go”, however Hikaru sounds suuuper strange singing that line

finally some light action, took you long enough, eh

That Keiko punch at the end xD Not enough of those cool shots

Progressive

YEAH SOME REAL ACTION

also one of the best performances of the night, I love Keiko here, she’s moving so much and having so much fun, it’s infectious

Hikaru killed it and that very last line is awesome

Ongaku

Aaaaw that hug in the beginning

of course, Ongaku is a must, I still think this would have been a better entrance or encore song

look at this power, fantastic

those band solos are the best thing of the whole concert, honestly I love them so hard

however, accordion solo is so out of place and unnecessary beyond belief

Bongo duuuuuuude, LOOK AT HIS FACE I can’t even xD

KONNO HITOSHI VIOLIN EPICNESS!!!!!!! With great justice he got the best reaction from the audience

They edited that Keiko jump/hug, it took her much longer to reach Wakana xD

The interaction between the girls is gorgeous, something we have been missing overall a bit

they included the flute at the end too, very nice (I suppose the accordion too, but fuck that)

that was the best Ongaku performance they ever did

Heavenly Blue

they still should have gone to MC after Ongaku

other than that, good performance I guess

Into the World

well hello there blue filter, it’s been a while

is it just me or has Keiko been made more dominant than she is supposed to be in the beginning?

Nightmare Ballet

come one, at least do that Zaregoto BGM THAT SOME ASSHOLE CUT FROM 9+ONE!

Great intro by accordion though, her duet with Sakurada is so cute

I feel I should take that blue spotlights to a date by now, because I have spent more time with them today than with my boyfriend

Great performance by the band, though too late into the concert in my opinion

Hikari Furu

best performance of this song of all time

Wakana kills it so hard, I feel bad for the others

fantastic mix of normal and acoustic version

that epic pause, THAT EPIC PAUSE

Quick opinion: I am not the biggest fan of those white “wedding” dresses. While their “final” version is pretty cool, I don’t like the veils, simply because they serve no purpose, especially since they’ll be thrown away immediately afterwards.

Hyakka Ryouran

nice flute intro

Red-Blue-Red-Blue-Red-Blue FUCK YOU

Ah, that middle HiKei dance, now you finally can see what I was talking about in my live reports. Wakana would have been better standing on the middle stairs though... #needless nitpicking

the flags are waving, that’s admittedly pretty cool

great performance of everyone, good that this song made it into the setlist

Alleluia

this doesn’t have many live recordings I think, so I am really glad that Alleluia made it as the last and most popular song of the night

definitely a marvellous farewell song for Keiko

look how powerful she sings, she knew this was her last big performance and she delivered

- Why is the manipulator celebrated to heavily? Is he particularly popular or something? XD

- Ehm, Wakana’s dress are actually pants? Do I have that correct? XD

- They should have thrown in “snow falling” as a surprise encore, just for the joke

-------------------------------

+ the musicians brought in so much variety and creativity even in highly overplayed songs, they made this truly a special concert

+ very good camera work, some great and cute shots and not so many cuts like in 9+ONE for example

- apparently an intern did the lighting here, I can’t explain this amateur work otherwise

- it’s a pity that there wasn’t any extra content included like some kind of Making Of or something on the Commemoration Lives. Sure, they reserved it for the movie, but still, at least something would have been nice

I really love this Live, although I had a lot of criticism. Kalafina delivered and they gave some of their best performances of their career. It was worth it all and it’s simply sad that this is their last concert. They deserved better treatment for this and it should have been even more special, with more effort and creativity by the staff/the agency.

Oops, that became longer than intended, sorry! Thanks for reading!

#kalafina #10th Anniversary Live #review #not sorry

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destiny-smasher · 7 years ago

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So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS #Life is Strange Before the Storm

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peanutdracolich · 7 years ago

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Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: Saw

I had never seen Saw. What I had heard led me to believe it led to a period of gruesome torture porn as horror films and was itself a film about gruesome torture and ‘oh look bloodshed the horror’. It was not.

This was in fact a pleasant surprise. It did not rely upon gruesome showings of severed limbs and cut open stomachs, but understood that hey the implication is more horrific. It was instead Psychological Horror of the locked in a room murder gamey type. I enjoy this horror in manga and stories. So this was a pleasant surprise.

It was also a badly done example of this type of horror. The villain relied too far on luck and people acting extremely stupid and in some cases extremely uncharacteristically stupid. The film was sloppy with details, that in the sort of puzzle it was presenting you would and should be looking at. While some of these were inconsequential (ok in the long run it didn’t matter that the dude instantly dried off) it was jarring from the mystery and the horror and the film asked me to look for it. It lacked the fun that made Child’s Play enjoyable despite the bad (and I’d say Child’s Play wasn’t worth the time) leaving it unsatisfactory.

Ultimately I expected a film at about The Omen’s quality. Nothing that I’d be wondrously impressed by, nor anything that would make me groan. Instead I found it profoundly disappointing even by those standards and would put it closer to Uzumaki; though it did do many things better than Uzumaki it invited the critical/analytical brain and it should not have done that. Unlike The Omen, Alien: Covenant, and Prince of Darkness I feel no need or desire to ever watch this film again.

Still the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and my screaming loathing of Adam as an annoying dolt... I mean my scene by scene are below the cut.

The Good:

The Bear Trap story: It’s not surprising that they picked this for the 10 year anniversary poster. This story was in fact chilling and horrific (if not scary but horror and scary are not always the same). It was the best part of the film.

The creepy doll: The puppet is creepier than Chucky. it just didn’t really get to do much in the film to capitalize on it.

Cary Elwes. I like him. And his character was actually likeable despite his flaws. You root for him which is necessary in this sort of film.

The Bad:

The Music. It slips from mediocre horror movie track to feeling like it's a laughtrack telling me when to be scared, attempting to manipulate my emotions with all the skill of an auditory jump scare. Yes suddenly loud/creepy tone as they reveal the object. I'm so scared.

Adam. You need to like him. You need to be torn between Cary Elwes's character killing him or not, you need to want him to survive. He annoyed me throughout the film until the last 5 minutes. The only reason to want him to win is because you want the monster to lose more.

The resolution: While the very last 3 minutes are good, the events that lead to the resolution are a cluster of stupidity that just leaves a bad taste in the mouth (especially as it was coming from Cary Elwes who had been smart before that).

The start: It starts off on the wrong foot with Adam being annoying and stupid. This means it makes a bad first impression it has to fight against, and while the Bear Trap scene does that... well it just means it had an uphill battle to reach the bear trap scene and then unfortunately goes back to Adam.

The Ugly:

The 'frantic mode' accelerated footage. At first I thought it was supposed to be time skip, but no apparently it's just supposed to be some stylistic 'things are happening frantically' and it doesn't work well. Show them being frantic, that'd have worked better.

The details. Details are important in this type of plot, and the movie ignores things like 'he has another tool' or 'he should be soaking wet' and it detracts heavily from it; sometimes as just 'nitpicks' that would normally be shrugged off if it was not a movie that demanded that sort of attention, and sometimes as ‘your plot hinges on stupidity because you didn’t show this as failing’ which just leaves a bad taste at the best of times.

And now my unsatisfied play by play

Saw (Film)

Nice start. Immediately gets into the creepy with waking up drowning in a bath. Character loses points for 'I'm probably already dead'. You've got a chain on your foot, and you woke up in a life or death situation, you shouldn't be jumping to that yet. Actually I just don't like the dialogue thus far.

Music does its job to try and trick me into thinking a dead body is scary. Those burns on the face of the man with the gun are... supposed to be muzzle burns? Every line from main character makes me like him less. And I want to know how he got here drowning without the doctor noticing something. I mean the water wasn't rising, it was over his face. He should have been drowning well earlier if he was put in first.

And you question the doctor on why he knows that 'if your kidneys were stolen it'd hurt like hell'. Adam you annoy me. Every line from your mouth has annoyed me. You are an idiot and it's only 6 minutes into the film.

Still Adam and the doctor Lawrence are trapped in a shit hole room together, with tapes in their pockets, and padlocked and chained to a pair of pipes. The tapes so to play them, though, and the dead body in the center of the room has a cassette player so.

Adam is stupid some more... also surprisingly dry. Like his clothes aren't wet at all. Does this film not understand how water works? I don't think this film understands that water is wet.

Tape is ok. Gravely voice is so so effect for horror, music accents it well. Still it's basic serial killer threat of you might die in here. Which yes you woke up chained up in a room that's to be expected. The Doctor's tape is more fun. He has to kill Adam! Adam knows this. Doctor also seems to have a better idea what the puzzle is going on than Adam, but I feel that Adam never knows what the puzzle is going on. Ok, it finally does something scarier than 'locked in room' (scary irl but the stakes are low in that the monster has already won, the danger can only decrease); the fact that his wife and daughter (I'm guessing) are threatened adds danger once more, something more than just the madman has already won.

Adam is surprisingly cooperative with the man who just got told to kill him. And there's a bad bit of humor/gross out with Adam reaching into the bowl of the toilet instead of checking under the lid first and having to deal with disgusting poop water. They find hacksaws, but Adam breaks his and the iron chain is just too thick and hard for the rusty old piece of junk. Lawrence realizes that they're supposed to cut their own feet off.

We get a campfire story about a serial killer from Lawrence. Thus far film's best thing is average music. Still murder games/torture is creepy. Um Lawrence, technically speaking putting someone in a situation that will kill them if they do nothing or if they try and escape is murder. There is no technically not a murderer here. Don't say stupid stuff, I want to like one of you.

Still we learn some stuff from the murder game stories. Jigsaw, the killer, likes to watch. Also Dr. Gordon had a patient that looks like the dead dude on the floor, and an underling who was Ben in Lost. I don't trust Ben. Ben just has a villain face. Oh and Jigsaw left Lawrence's penlight at the scene of one of the crimes. Fun. Apparently his alibi was that he was having an affair. I currently suspect Ben.

I have mostly not commented on the 'campfire stories' but they're not actually bad. The reverse beartrap is actually creepy. The puppet works. And if the film can keep this quality (instead of the first 10 minutes) it'll be pretty good. the fast movement thrashes of the victim and attempt at frantic is more headache inducing than scary, though, and I am unsure if I'm supposed to think it's a long time (which the fast forwarded motion implies) or just 'panic mode' which makes more sense with the time. The sounds and movements of the man as she cuts him open to get the key is effective. The rummaging in his stomach less so. And then we get frantic mode again as she takes off the helmet with the key.

The puppet appears and is creepy. Far creepier than Chucky was. But I've not been scared. The only story with tension was the woman's thus far, and now that it's gone I feel unsatisfied as I didn't get the fear hit.

Adam is a dumbass. But picking up a piece of broken glass realizes it's a two way mirror and then starts throwing shit at the mirror. In all the stories the rooms were very carefully prepared so that there weren't just random tools, in this one there's a good number in Adam's reach and he's just chucking shit at a camera where it won't hit. Lawrence believes that they have to play the game... and Adam is a total dumb ass again. He needs to keep his mouth shut. I enjoy the film much more when he does.

We are now 1/3rd through the film. I don't feel primed for horror. I don't feel any desire to stop typing. The movie has been 'better' than Child's Play thus far, but simultaneously it's been less fun because Child's Play at least made me laugh at its serious attempts, and this makes me... want to read Japanese murder porn manga because they get a better hit.

Musical cue to be scared when Adam reveals the photo of Lawrence's wife and daughter tied and gagged is oo overt, to forced. And... Did Adam take the picture with the clue, or did Lawrence just not react at all to it? We get some immediate horror (as opposed to vague dread) when he comes for Lawrence's wife and daughter in flashback that is now no longer someone's specific memory but just prior events (acceptable technique just on my mind). Unlike with Child's Play I feel this film has an outside chance of actually killing the small child. I hope they don't but... was that Ben's face. I'm pretty sure that was Ben's face. So either Ben did it or he's an accomplice which... not surprising.

And the detective apparently is 1) Spying on the doctor's home while the abduction takes place, and 2) blaming himself for letting the doctor go while watching the criminal abduct his wife. Detective seems crazy. We also learn this movie was brought to us by Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme donuts the best for cops who are being presented as irrationally hating a doctor enough to watch someone abduct his wife. To be fair he might just be illegaly spying on the doctor and thinks it's an affair, but his words implied the other and either it's... This film does not want me to think about things. Also sound cues for horror have gone from 'mediocre' to 'it feels like a laugh track that is telling me be scared now'.

We get that the villain is sick, implied to be terminally ill, and he cuts Tapp, and this is implied to be a flashback to after Gordon gave his alibi but before they... shot Jigsaw. So it's a fake or he's playing dead. Ok lures the young cop into a death trap, and the old cop can't follow because throat is slashed. And his hand that is 'keeping him from bleeding to death' stretches out...

Still ok Cop is now completely obsessed with catching the man who killed his partner, and talking to his dead partner. This is the creepiest the movie has felt. And Adam is in fact hiding the clue like a dumb ass. Still he half tells him the clue, but not 'oh yeah there's a picture of your tied up family'. Gordon I hope you kill Adam. If only one of you is going to live, I would prefer Gordon. I mean either he should give him the picture, or not give him the clue. If he's trying to make sure Gordon doesn't have the information to kill him not giving him the clue is a good move. It'll lead to them both being left to rot if Jigsaw is honest but... If he's not then give the man his picture, you already (before seeing the picture) made certain he believed it was true and tried to call him cold hearted for not panicking more. Also lying makes you suspicious. Adam lies badly and I agree with Gordon that he's dealing with a juvenile. Adam finally gives the picture clue, after lying about it. And Gordon asks the sensible 'why didn't you show me it before'. We're supposed to think that Adam was just being nice by hiding the pain. He's a douche ass for it, though. Though now Gordon is really thinking about killing him, partially because of the picture and partially because Adam has been a dumb ass.

Gordon comes up with a plan, in the dark, whispered so that Jigsaw and we don't hear it, we hear enough to get the idea that there is a plan, and it's pretty obvious that it's fake poisoning a cigarette and giving it to the smoker Adam to kill him. This is not a good plan given that they don't know how the poison works, and that Adam is a lousy liar with the most unconvincing death scene. Jigsaw's response is to electrocute Adam. Which apparently makes him remember what happened the night before... Progress?

An hour in and I have decided that for murder/torture/deathtrap porn I'm just going to stick to Japanese stuff. This reminds me I need to watch Battle Royale.

Still the scene in his memory is more traditional horror; the killer is in the house.

Alright his daughter is calling Gordon on a phone that was provided with the last set of stuff. We are... Not scared. Ali tells him not to believe Adam's lies, that Adam knows him, and we saw it in the flashback so it can be believed. Gordon immediately shares the clue. Gordon demands the truth. Adam seems to be a private eye that's been spying on Gordon with pretty obvious flash photography and knows that Gordon was having an affair. Which apparently he broke off last night because she paged him while he was at home and that made him have qualms of conscience... I still like him more than Adam. I'm guessing someone died because Gordon was sleeping around and Jigsaw wants revenge, but idk.

Adam was hired by Bob for $200 a night. Gordon figures that he's the culprit, and Adam can't remember shit about what he looks like, but finally says 'tall black guy with a scar around his throat', i.e. the detective. We've seen enough shots of a white guy watching them that I don't believe that he's the culprit. Though Ben could be the accomplice to him... I don't believe it quite.

Ben is named Zep. Zep the Orderly who has been watching them on the camera. And time runs out. With, guestimating 30 minutes or less (maybe only 15 minutes) we finally enter the final act. The music increases the tempo to say danger time is go, and Ben begins to talk to Gordon's wife forcing her to tell him that he failed. Except the wife has slipped her bindings and takes the gun from FailBen. She doesn't shoot him. Shoot him. Shoot him before everything goes wrong. They both break down crying. There's some actual tension, and then FailBen attempts to take back the gun. There's a few shots, and the corrupt ex-cop who has been watching it all finally makes his move.

And I must simply wonder what is it with horror movies and stabbing people with scissors. Do they really go into the flesh so well? Like seriously several inches? Either way corrupt cop hears a gunshot so comes in to try and play the hero and save Gordon's wife and daughter and apprehend FailBen. We've got the psycho killer is in the house horror, the music is working to increase adrenaline, and the scene is ok. He also electrocutes Gordon presumably to death. We see some 'frantic mode' scenes with FailBen and the cop and then Gordon wakes up.

Gordon dropped the phone and it's out of reach. He tries to grab it with a box, ignoring that the hacksaw is longer and in reach and would reach it. This ruins the tension a bit, and makes his panic stupid. He ties off his foot, with his shirt (that could also reach the phone) and starts cutting off his foot. And this is supposed to be horror with all this blood and... It mostly makes me feel slightly more nauseous (I have a stomach thing and have felt like puking off and on for the last 30 hours) but mostly that the film is dumb.

Cop shoots himself in another moment of dumb. The film is dumb. Gordon shoots Adam now that he knows there is no reason to do it. The film is stupid. The film is dumb. I still might have enjoyed it more than Uzumaki, but I think I hated it more too? It leaves you feeling slightly unclean (a good thing in horror), but it's fucking dumb. The plot runs on idiot ball at the end, and before that it's just not good.

And then there's a good moment. Adam was faking dead and begins to brutally beat Ben with a toilet lid. It's not scary, though, it's senseless brutality. He could have shot him, but the film wanted to show 'scary' brutal murder. And 'chillingly' we learn that FailBen was not the culprit, but another victim. Which is a good ending, music gets the heartbeat up, but it all feels hollow.

The dead man from the floor rises and kills Adam. Your classic final rise of the monster to show that even in defeat Jason/Freddy has won. "The key to that chain is in the bathtub" Which means it got flushed down the drain. It's a nice effect, but while it feels a lot better as a film, similar to the omen with its good end giving the illusion for a short time of being better, the film is overall dumb. The last 3 minutes do not make up for almost 100 minutes of dumb.

I came in with low expectations. The film surprised me. It mostly avoided what I was led to expect, and had some legitimately good moments of psychological murder room horror (the woman with the reverse bear trap). It was still, however, worse than I had been led to expect.

The movie lacks the camp charm of Prince of Darkness, or even Uzumaki. It plays itself as a psychological horror, a genre that is supposed to engage the mind and get you thinking, but relies on a massive idiot ball, and thus if you're thinking it ruins the film. The cop is supposed to be 'secretly a hero' all along, but could have caught the killer by simply making a move when he first realized what was going on instead of watching it like he was getting off on Gordon's family being held hostage and chose to wait until a person who he seems to have evidence is innocent's family is apparently shot before acting because... umm??? Gordon could have reached the phone with the hacksaw, either it was a final chance or too late, and his logical characterization suddenly exploded. Yes he has an IC reason for suddenly going from cold and logical to panicking, but he obviously wants to answer the phone so he's not at that type of panic (should have shown the phone further away). The little bits of stupid added up throughout the film and the ending does not save it by having a sudden creepy reveal; though it does finally answer the itching 'what about the third dude, guys you're obviously missing something' aspect. Still if psychological murder trap horror is your thing, there's a good number of manga about it; it has teenagers which apparently makes it better! Also decent writing.

I came in expecting something mediocre, on the side of good, something near the level of the Omen. I was disappointed. It demands intellectual involvement (psychological and mystery elements) and cannot stand up to it, leaving a film that is neither fun or fulfilling, and not even a film that is scary.

The Good:

The Beartrap story.

The creepy doll.

Cary Elwes. I like him. And his character was actually likeable despite his flaws. You root for him which is necessary in this sort of film.

The Bad:

The Ugly:

The 'frantic mode' accelerated phootage. At first I thought it was supposed to be time skip, but no apparently it's just supposed to be some stylistic 'things are happening frantically' and it doesn't work well. Show them being frantic, that'd have worked better.

#peanutdracolich watches horror #Saw (2004)#Not impressed #Not satisfied #Makes me want to read manga

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imaginekris · 7 years ago

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A few people asked us if we liked xXx or Valerian more (which I, for one, am shocked about), so here are our thoughts. These are kind of long for no good reason.

Just you let you know, if you guys ever want to talk to us and actually get replies in a timely manner, you can reach us on twitter. We don’t like to clutter the blog with replies, etc., but we have no problem doing that on twitter.

The borderline spoilers to follow don’t really matter, if that’s a thing that bothers you. I don’t think it’s actually possible to spoil either movie since nothing important happens.*

Admin 1: My short answer is that I found xXx to be preferable to Valerian. I had no expectations for xXx because it was a hokey action film released in January, but had really hoped to enjoy Valerian because sci-fi can be mega fascinating. As a more seriously-intended film, Valerian really fell short for me, mostly due to the acting. Cara Delevingne and Dane Dehaan’s performances were painfully flat, they barely ventured beyond their gruff, annoyed space cop personas. Like when Laureline feeds her diamond earring to the little replicator creature and tells it she’s got to take it shopping, Delevingne’s recitation of that line was so odd, it was really weird to watch. Meanwhile, xXx is just another action film, but sets itself up for greater emotional range, even though the genre is much the same as Valerian. There’s a lot more comedy, it doesn’t take itself as seriously, and the acting is far more lively. Maybe I preferred xXx because it has a lot less room to disappoint me since I expected so little and had higher hopes for Valerian, who knows.

On the matter of which movie had a better Kris performance, that is hard to say. Nicks’ every line in xXx had me cringing. “I’m not a soldier, I’m a baller,” refuses to vacate my consciousness. Sergeant Neza in Valerian, however, was a limp fish, but this is no fault of Kris’ since the average military personnel character is gonna be serious and unremarkable. His performance was just fine, even if the character was kind of unnecessary. The white dude he kept reporting to, Captain Kris or whatever (no joke, that’s the character) could have easily been the one to do the wire pulling stuff at the end. But it’s a job, and I’m glad he was a part of this.

He looked prettier in Valerian (god do I love those ear moles), but those uniform pants did his butt no favors. Such a shame…

Overall, xXx was my preference, I’m content to give Vin Diesel my money. Unless somebody else is buying your ticket maybe skip Valerian if you’re only interested in seeing Kris.

A2’s assessment of “pretty trash overall” and my boyfriend’s conclusion of “CGI wankfest” are the most apt descriptions I can give you. I expected better from Luc Besson. Idk, I’m no movie buff, just a weird bird. You might like Valerian and find xXx to be a dumpster fire (which it kind of is, but in a good way).

Admin 2: xXx IS a dumpster fire. It is the kind of trash I would never watch in my entire life; I only saw it for Kris. It was terrible and I have no desire to ever see it again despite Admin 1 insisting that I borrow her copy of the DVD she bought for some inexplicable reason. I will not. I refuse.

I’m sure if you’re into those kind of movies (i.e. actiony and fraught with flimsy plots only there to provide a vague reason to do as many ““cool”“ stunts) you’d enjoy it. I don’t regret seeing it, but I regret paying actual money for it.

You could level the same criticism I have of xXx at Valerian, which was similarly a gratuitous romp that seems almost like a vehicle for ~cool~ visuals. You could say that Valerian was an excuse to, like, show off how many cool CGI aliens they could make. It didn’t have the same charm of The Fifth Element (which, as you probably know, was Luc Besson’s other Big Thing), and it was more over the top. That’s fine, of course, but I’ve been thinking about why it bothers me. I think one of the primary things—there are many things I could nitpick—is that it was just so much information shoved into a regular-length movie. And not just information (by which I kind of mean world-building) but story lines! For example, Rihanna’s little sidequest was neat and all but mega cheesy and largely pointless.

I disagree with A1 that Valerian is more “seriously-intended” because I found it immensely clear that they knew they were making a movie based on a graphic novel. Had I not known that it was, I don’t think I would’ve liked the movie at all. Unfortunately, I think this was relied on too much: the movie looked good, but it was badly written, which is my other main criticism. I would say the acting was bad, but I don’t think it was entirely the actors’ fault; they didn’t have anything good to work with (I cannot over-emphasize this: it was bad). I haven’t read Valerian and Laureline—the source material—but I’m really curious now about its dialogue. Is it as bad? Does that matter? Realistically, for me, it probably wouldn’t because it’s a graphic novel and I go into those with different expectations than I do with movies. That also ties in with what I said before—that there was too much information shoved into the movie—and I think that that’s a thing I’d be okay with in a different medium.

Moving on, Kris didn’t need to be in either of them, but he was better in xXx because he got to team up with the Hound and that was great; he was almost kind of funny. I’d like to see him try that more so I can tell if he can be funny of purpose instead of just accidentally like he is all the time to me now. He didn’t need to be in Valerian, and he hardly was, and I’m pretty sure the only reason he was in it at all was because a Chinese company was included in the production. He also gave them access to a large fandom, similarly to how Rihanna was used in promotion. But good for him I guess!

Final thoughts: both are bad, but I would watch Valerian again for some passive background noise / pretty aesthetics; I would not do the same for xXx.

Now I’m gonna go cover my face in glitter and pretend I’m one of the Pearls.

*Actually, there is definitely something you could spoil in xXx. It’s the best part of the movie toward the end. If you have seen it you know what I am talking about.

#sorry this is so long #we are not making a habit of this #not Kris

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letters-to-georg · 5 years ago

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Testing my hand

Hi Georg,

It's been a while since I've tried writing to you. I'm a bit nervous. It's not like it's the first time. I write to you a lot. It's just that it's never been this official, or this public, and I'm afraid I'm a little bit anxious about it. It's not that I'm doing anything wrong, or that you've done anything wrong. I'm simply afraid of what people will say is all. I'm afraid they'll judge me. But I suppose this is just something I'll have to deal with.

Forgive me, Georg, if I seem a little distracted. I'm still processing some thoughts. It's nice to have you here to work this all out, but I'm afraid I must take breaks from time to time. I have things to attend to. I don't want to appear neglectful of you on our first official letter, of course. I suppose I already have done that, so there's no need to tiptoe around the words. It's probably a bad thing to do for me to write you a letter and ask for your time, simply to brush you off.

I don't know if you mind waiting, dear friend. I suppose it's only a matter of time before we write again. It would be bad to ask for an immediate response. I know you can't write, dear. It's been quite obvious that these coversations we have tend to leave me with more questions than answers. I must say I enjoy that particular facet of our chats.

I'm becoming worried now, dear Georg. Worried I've done you wrong writing this. I'm afraid you might come to read these one day and realize how horrible their contents are. They must be write depressing. Maybe you'll throw them in the fire. I wish I could say something to take it all away. Maybe you'd oppose that, Georg. You always say -- or feel, rather, since you can't quite talk -- that you prefer feelings to be felt and not reduced to pieces. I just say I agree, and I admire your mind. I appreciate the effect you have on me. I feel welcome and it's thanks to you that I can achieve peace of mind. I can only hope I can repay you. I doubt you require payment, as it I beneficial for the both of us, but still. Say we ate more? Would that be a deal? We're quite uncomfortable with deals indeed. Perhaps it would be best to leave it as it is. No debts between friends, much less brothers, right?

If this talk bores you, brother dear. Do you wish to leave? Look upon the glass and wish to run up the hills, but say nothing of it in fears of upsetting me? I must say it would indeed be upsetting. I've tried to make excuses for it, or hide it in comfort, as you say. But I'm afraid, broher dear, that all my excuses will make matters worse. What shall I do if I hurt you, or if I come across a child I become the guardian of, and I need to leave prematurely? Would you know what to do? I have terrible skills with children. As much as I love them, I'm afraid I can't take care of them at the moment. I would hurt them more than help. I doubt any help I could give wouls be worth much if I hurt them even once. But perhaps you would disagree.

I worry sometimes that I displease you. I see your anger. Rightful as it wants to be. Shrill and inescapable. I see you want to do the right thing. I worry your judgement might be too harsh. I know you want to appear strong to keep doubts off-limits. I know people undermine your thoughts less when you find a way to stand strong. I know it might hurt you. I know it does. I know how unsettling it must be. I know you want to find people and family that are off-limits where you can let yourself go.

Brother dear, I swear to you on my heart that we will find somewhere where our hearts will be soothed. I'm afraid for now I must go. I doubt it is right. I understand kg musr be frustrating to ler go after such a fruitful conversation. I feel how it leaves you craving for more honesty. I remember how we talked about this earlier. I know it's frustrating to have a feeling snatched away from you. I know it feels like peiple don't want yoh to feel it properly. I remember how we talked about it -- how it wasn't fair, how we wanted to get deeper and more serious into our emotional baggage, how it never felt good enough. How people cut us off from sharing and we couldn't keep going. I remember we hated it, and even if we strive to find a reason we find acceptable for it, we still feel angry. I know you worry we'll say it is right to stop us, so I will say we have every right to feel as angry as we do now.

I remember thinking that perhaps it was manipulative. Keeping you on your tiptoes. Emotions is strenght and intelligence, and keeping you off-limits might be very wrong. I know it feels often unfair and almost predictable how every time we get to the good part, the part which needs healing, something cuts us. I know it feels like people plan fo this. Like they see us get just where they want us to be and cut us off.

I know it feels prefictable and scary. I hope I can find the right words. I hope you can find comfort in me. I am afraid I must leave now. I know we both want to fight it. It isn't fair to always stop before the good part. In truth, I fear we won't like what we find. All those thoughts running around might lead to a truth that is less comforting than predicted.

I fear it immensely. I fear it's bite. I grow restless and afraid.

It might seem like this fear is why we always were stopped before reaching this state. Yet I doubt it would be wise to leave us so broken. A peofessional should be able to soothe the part before it gets bad, should they not?

I fear I cannot go on any longer. We were never this tired before talking. I fear it is a newfound effect of everything else.

I am tired, brother. Immensely tired. I feel like cockroaches will climb onto me to eat my remains any day now. I'm alive but I feel like a corpse.

***

Hello Georg. I'm back after taking a break. I'd say it's short but it was quite long. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by struggling to write this letter for a while. I'm still struggling now. I feel strange to say the least.

I feel selfish for letting you hang like this. And for telling you my story without hearing your words, or considering your ideas alongside mine. To tell you the truth, sometimes it feels really hard to do the right thing. Right now, it takes a lot of effort to think straight. I want to just dump it all and tell you everything. I wish i could speak my mind without having to worry about people fighting me, or about hurting them. It takes a lot of effort not to dump everything right now and run away somewhere to hide until this is all over. I'd almost like the ides of having a hiding place, bht the truth id that hiding places never stay long enough. There's always that one person who tells you "it's time to come back to reality now" or "you've grown mature enough not to need it and you can detach yourself from the need". It's infuriating. I just want to get away, is that bad? Should I feel bad? People like to tell me it's okay that I feel bad as long as I eventually agree with them, and it's just so unfair. I wish i didn't hVe to listen to them, brotjer. I wish it so dearly.

Now, I know that people might read this and think something bad of me. I know you'd say it's nothing to worry about and people's opinions are not to be too influential, but I still worry. I wish I were able to agree with you an not doubt your wisdom. It would be easier to not have the burden of hiding my true feelings. If I could just agree with you wholeheartedly! But the burden of knowing I actually feel quite bad is just so heavy sometimes. I'm ashamed of it. Of doubting you. Sometimes even of you for requesting I agree like that.

I'm sure you don't do that. Or perhaps you do. I suppose you do as well. As long ad nobody gets hurt other than us... There are a lot of things wrong here. I can't count them all.

I feel like crying. I hope you don't mind if I say that. I'm quite tired of worrying if you'll accept what I feel. I'm tired of expecting a whirlwind everytime I want to say something.

This was supposed to be peaceful, but it's just not anymore. I suppose I'm nitpicking, seeing as people usually don't criticize themselves so much, unless I really am that annoying and people don't feel critical of themselves because they don't enjoy the drama of it. I had the right cocktail, I guess. I don't know. I'm supposed to be able to tell you anything, but even I can't accept and love myself completely. I feel like I'm desecrating something. I'm supposed to love myself. Who will, if I don't? God. I feel worthless and scary, and very dirty. Upsetting. Oppressive.

I feel like hiding, or watching Tales from the Borderlands until it all passes. I'm probably repressing tears. My throat feels weird. Am I, like, swallowing tears? Does that ever happen without your eyes tearing up first, or is the crying-off-your-eyes thing just a second part of the entire crying process? Throat-eyes-nose? Or probably not. I mean, my nose always hurts when I cry, probably because of some chemical reaction when tears hit the nostrils. I would feel the tears if they were falling down.

Do you think we're good people, Georg? I feel like I've done a lot of judging. It pains me to imagine how brash and irresponsible I must look to outsiders. I have to admit it fascinates me to kmagine how obvious the flaws I struggle to hide are to other people. They must have such a clear ides of who I am, in ways I can't imagine myself. I wish I couls meet myself and seize it myself. Unless that would be desercating something sacred. I mean, I've been trying to control my mind for a while. Probably not good.

I think I should sleep. I still feel like venting, but strangely, I don't really feel like posting this anymore. It's stressful to post these online. I hope to god nobody will send hate. I'll block them, I promise. I'll take care of myself.

Yours,

Floof

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shifugoedecke · 7 years ago

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ENTER AN (Isshinryu) DRAGON

DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND

Recently, an isshinryu practitioner reached out to me to let me know he was reading my latest book, Rebel Isshinryu, and to share a thread from an isshinryu Facebook forum discussing my work.

With all due respect to the many years of martial commitment and value brought by the two respondents in their thread, Charles James and Victor Smith are out of their venue of martial expertise when speaking on the topic of Internal Isshinryu and the controversial subject of KI as it relates specifically to the underlying technicalities of this art and which forms the basic platform of my work.

In the future, I hope that such critics qualify their experience when commenting on such topics as Ki and isshinryu, so we understand they are offering their ‘guesswork’ opinions. Those who know me are aware that I am always open for dialog and ready to learn. I will also defend my turf.

As a senior U.S. karateka with nearly fifty years of active martial experience, I find it ironic that we have two career martial artists offering vague disputations on a subject outside of their purview, and who do not actually comment on any of the 57 Challenges outlined in the book as you will read below.

THE QUESTIONABLE THREAD

(Mr. James and Mr. Smith’s comments are italicized below.

Charles E. James An Example of Rebel Isshinryu (he refers to my book) In the book one of the short chapters refers to the existence of ki or chi or qi and then explains how it works with a more creative articulation thus resulting in a confusion and bastardization of its true meaning. It forgets that terms and explanations and definitions and meaning of ancient concepts such as chi or ki is simply the best possible way to convey a subject of those times. Examples follow: In the book he uses a term that literally does not exist except as a term loosely defined as relating to another term, biomechanics. Here is what it says:

biomechanistic (not comparable) 1 Relating to biomechanics The branch of biophysics that deals with the mechanics of the human or animal body; especially concerned with muscles and the skeleton. (biology) The functioning of a particular part of a body.

Now, what I would actually say about ki is the following: Ki, as it is assumed to exist, has literally nothing to do with biomechanics for biomechanics deals with the mechanics of the muscles and skeletal system of the human body. It is the study of the functioning of the body and pertains to the individual parts thereof.

Let’s start with the term that I use often; biomechanics |ˌ the study of the mechanical laws relating to the movement or structure of living organisms. From a martial perspective, biomechanical laws dictate that if one postures correctly with their legs, for example, their musculo-skeletal structure will become more resistant to pushes or pulls. A proper or correct body ‘biomechanic’ is better able to generate or withstand certain angles of force. Anyone disagree here? There is no debate, just nitpicking?

Mr. James comments about Ki’s relationship to biomechanics are false and misleading. I am neither bastardizing nor misusing the term ‘ki,’ as understood in the world’s internal martial arts community. I have observed, for decades, that the physical structure, when either still or in motion, greatly affects the flow of Ki (an immaterial ‘charge’ science is still trying to define) and vice versa, in precise and recordable ways. There is an intimate relationship between underlying Ki flow and hard-matter, musculo-skeletal actions. I quote from an excellent work, The Field, by L. Taggart; ‘For a number of decades respected scientists in a variety of disciplines all over the world have been carrying out well-designed experiments whose results fly in the face of current biology and physics. … At our most elemental, we are not a chemical reaction, but an energetic charge.’

I’d be happy to prove the value of this statement to him within the martial construct. He can then make up his own mind what he thinks is causing the phenomenon and choose whatever label he deems fit. The 3,000 year Chinese history of using the word Qi suffices for me.

Ki [気] is translated, a Japanese term much like Chi or Qi as termed by the Chinese, as, “spirit; mind; heart; nature; disposition; motivation; intention; mood; feelings; atmosphere; essence.

It is something that is more philosophical than reality for all the applied definitions are philosophical rather than real. Use the wheelbarrow test, if it cannot be put into a wheelbarrow then its reality is questionable at best and more of an emotional effort to explain the unexplainable.

Mr. James personal opinion that Ki is ‘something that is more philosophical than reality’ is contrary to Tatsuo Shimabuku’s own understanding of the term. In several, many hours long personal interviews with the late 10th dan, Frank Van Lenten, this respected expert, who studied directly with Isshinryu’s founder, stated that Shimabuku was the first Okinawan sensei to talk about Ki as it related to Sanchin kata training and even more specifically, in raising body temperature. Shimabuku was referencing a concrete experience—the Kiko practice of Sanchin.

THE WHEELBARROW TEST LACKS SUBSTANCE

Mr. James use of the wheelbarrow test to dismiss Ki, though witty, is irrational. You can’t put wind, love, mathematics, consciousness into a wheelbarrow. Is Mr. James suggesting these do not exist? You can’t put the sound of my voice into a wheelbarrow, yet I’m sure I could rile Mr. James up if I shouted loud enough in his ear. So sound isn’t real either? Can you put intention into a wheelbarrow? Compassion? Mind? God? Quantum Physics? This is just a small sampling. Is Mr. James suggesting that none of these constructs exist? Hmm!

Mr. James and Mr. Smith’s comments properly represent the conventional isshinryu paradigm. They add nothing unique except a newly whitewashed ceiling. They are spokespersons of an historical view that is being surpassed.

Mr. James does not seem aware of cutting edge work in Quantum Physics particularly, ‘quantum entanglement’, the strange properties of waves and particles apparently influencing everything. These frontier scientists are proving the value and power of intention, for example, to affect (with statistically significant data), that humans can influence both machines and people without any physical movement involved. If we just took the power of voice alone – which you can’t be put into a wheelbarrow, human sound has catalyzed all manner of extraordinary accomplishments.

(image below from the book REBEL ISSHINRYU)

CHI’S NON-REALITY REALITY—REALLY?

It’s fine if Mr. James himself wants to relegate Ki to a conceptual, ‘non-reality’ box. I do not put the subject into such a box, because I have reams of evidence compiled with the aid of other advanced martial artists, acupuncturists, engineers and a noted biophysicist who strongly suggest otherwise. Many intelligent people have experienced a ‘Ki’ phenomenon first-hand in our research. Did I say flying through the air? Nowhere in my book is a fantasy world hinted at or embraced. The use of the term Ki is and has been, for centuries, a useful model to describe unexplainable events that can produce predictable and reproducible results. Thirteen Advanced martial artists with experiences ranging from 15-60 years were asked to comment on Ki’s reality in my last book Internal Karate: Mind Matters and the Seven Gates of power. No one denied its existence as a mysterious phenomenon, nor were they coerced to say so. Neither do many acupuncturists, Chinese medical Chi Kung healers, and an impressive slew of other energy practitioners along with increasing scientific studies to back up their observations.

Mr. James is speaking outside of his purview, attempting to define another’s martial experiences as perhaps, false, off base, and incorrectly labeled. But his own observation appears based upon his lack of actual hands-on experience within this field of study. Other than his dictionary challenge and personal opinion, I simply hear one man espousing his ‘theory’ of ki with far less substance and research backing it.

I acknowledge Ki as a catchall term for unexplainable behaviors in Rebel Isshinryu. In his own words James states; “(Ki) is at best and more of an emotional effort to explain the unexplainable.”

Really? An emotional effort—at best? At least, he agrees with me that there is an unexplainable. Rebel Isshinryu points out how Ki influences our kata and individual technique - without emotionalism.

Chi, the Chinese term for the Japanese term “Ki”, is translated as, “the circulating life force whose existence and properties are the basis of much Chinese philosophy and medicine. Qi, Blood and Body Fluids are the most basic substances that constitute the human body and maintain its functional activities.”

So, I would go on again to say that, in essence, even in the West as is in the East, Chi or Qi or Ki or Energy is a manifestation of a product that is generated energy fueled by physics, fundamental principles of physiokinetic such as structure, body alignment, body stability and so on as well as the healthful, fit, and strong flow of that fuel we feed our bodies that is changed into the blood, and its oxygen and other fuels, and other body fluids that make the body alive and functional. It is contained within the body and cannot be transmitted from the body, especially through the air, to effect other objects including the human body of others to move or damage or disrupt that body.

Modern science has already proved Mr. James’, Cartesian view of the martial world is an old an overturning paradigm. Frontier scientists, using rigorous methodology, have proved that humans can transmit through the air via wave frequencies, the ability to effect objects including the human body, in significant ways.

Outside of a basic health platform, citing the biochemical properties of cellular metabolism or ATP energy production is an aside regarding the nature of isshinryu kata and Ki’s known energy affects in the assembly and execution of karate moves.

Yes, Ki is blood, breath, cellular metabolism etc. But Ki is also behind ‘Kiko’ principles in isshinryu. I did not invent the term ‘[Ki]ko.’ The Okinawans karate masters did. Mr. James cleverly points his intellectual finger at the validity of martial artists metaphorically fixating on the ‘right’ view. His insistence you look there doesn't mean the left viewpoint is any less real. My finger and my book Rebel Isshinryu points to new and emerging information on the left. This is precisely why I have a brief section in the book called, ‘Why Draws Its Sword On What Is.’ Mr. James and Mr. Smith offer us the standard ‘What is?’ I offer something more expansive.

The use of ki, or chi or qi is about how the body makes use of fuel, i.e., proper dietary intake along with water and air that is converted within the digestive system to feed the body the appropriate fuels to run it where the levels of proper fuel, appropriate levels of air intake and maximized and efficient conversion to a fuel the body can use to generate the energy necessary to make the mind function and the body move as it was meant to exist in the world at large. The energy generated within the body allows it to be, if properly applied within the limits and maximum capability of physics and principles such as physiokinetic to achieve efficient maximum output is how we make use of chi, qi or ki to apply our bodies in martial arts, etc.

This is an accurate description but a misdirection of the subject discussed in my book. James fails to make mention of scientific observation of the body to produce ‘wave frequencies’ that have been proven to alter the functioning of another human body. My interest has been on the martial behavior of Ki as it influences the body’s functioning and vice versa in contests of strength to resist or overwhelm an opponent. Some quantum theorists are observing that physical mass is not equivalent to energy but that Mass is energy. So fundamentally, there is no mass. There is only charge. This open up a whole new way of thinking.

The ancients were keen observers of natural laws that could be used in intriguing ways. Modern scientific understanding of the principles behind these ‘ways’ wouldn’t even begin to investigate until centuries later.

When you're a batter trying to hit a ball are you concerned in that moment with your cellular metabolism? Neither were the karate masters when it came to generating power in a karate technique.

Reply · October 11 at 5:31pm Charles E. James

Charles E. James In a nutshell, ki is merely the energy generated by a fuel in the body that if manifested in accordance with properly applied physiokinetic such as balance, structure, body skeletal alignment, strength of stability of bodily musculature while moving the body mass toward a target and then applying methods and energy and force levels would maximize energy use and internal consumption to ensure maximum power and force is reached at point of application to another body. Ki or the body fuels has already been consumed and used to generate energy that the body uses to move, remain alive and other such mundane natural nature's things.

Jame’s ‘nutshell’ definition is a misdirection. His science is right but his statement “Ki is merely…..,” offers no method or new information for enhancing actual karate performance. I see this as one man’s attempt to shoo the topic and others away from engaging it because it’s not familiar to him. If you fall for his charade you will miss vital information about the isshinryu art.

Reply · October 11 at 5:35p Victor Donald Smith

Victor Donald Smith Thank you Charles, that answers some questions I have about the book. I can’t see getting it, money has better uses at this time :-)

The real challenge for these men would be to prove that Ki does not exist as an actual particle/wave phenomenon or that my observations are invalid? Don't minimize my work by simply waving your hands with dismissive and static dictionary definitions, or offer personal opinion that science itself refutes. This subject is a complex one, which we professionals all need to engage in. I welcome all challenges to the ideas in my book. If you can’t connect to the subject in a tangible manner. I’m only a phone call away.

I’ve met far too many arrogant and white tower martial artists who don't want to dialog—just dismiss, distort, or control the information flow. It’s easy for some men to assume guardianship for information they do not grasp. I come from a very different teaching background that heartily contests such positions.

Those of you who are one the fence about all of the above, my advice for you is to keep your mind open, question, be ready to change, and most importantly, when speaking amongst your peers, dialog and challenge in a fair manner, and yes, expect rebuttal. We all grow through stronger through healthy exchange.

Reply · October 11 at 5:37pm Charles E. James

Charles E. James HI, Victor Donald Smith, don't get me wrong, it is entertaining and within he does makes some excellent points but if you wish to find something more concrete on Isshinryu or martial arts then it may not be one's cup of tea. As I indicated, its entertaining but as to worth the expense ... an individuals decision. 2.99 would be more appropriate for its words, length and content which upon more mindless meandering would be ....

I like what a colleague of mine recently wrote about Mr. Smith’s assayment of my book as, ‘entertaining’:

“Someone, somewhere said that the way they (referring to Smith and James) are trying to get rid of new-paradigm ideas these days is exactly this way: they are being pushed away into the "entertainment" category. It is actually a more effective killer than burning the author, as that would draw much more attention to the fact that something remarkable is going on here.”

I do agree with Mr. Smith that if you want to stick to the ‘same old game’ (my words, not his), there are better books out there that will keep you fixated. My book discusses what isn’t being seen or said. Of course, shame on me if I could have articulated better. I’ll do my best to write more clearly in the future.

October 11 at 5:40pM Charles E. James

Charles E. James Oh, and I have gone off on tangents myself in my blogging but you won't find me trying to make money off of it. I have a blog on the kenpo gokui as a philosophical work with a lot of Chinese and Japanese ancient tao type references as a teaching tool to connect with reality but as to karate applications and self-defense I kind of leave those writings separate except when it benefits the teachings reality. Mysticisms has its place and it ain't in reality. Yet, if it leads to reality and makes the journey fun then use it but make sure the reader and student understand the differences. It is way to easy to lead the student down the wrong path with stuff like this.

God forbid someone should be making money from their life work. I guess karate instructors should teach for free? Mr. James here is offering readers an opinion about what he deems reality and non-reality. If anyone is leading students down the wrong path, it will be someone telling you what is and what is not real. People need to determine that for themselves.

Trash talk Mysticism? Mystical practices, as an aside, have held major value in many cultures throughout the world. In just one example, esoteric Buddhism was conveyed for centuries in this manner. And there are many fine books on the subject.

Victor Smith: For instance, there was a really awesome martial artists who let himself be deluded to believe he could project his Ki, etc. only to be embarrassed when others would challenge him and his students, etc. It was a shame because it ruined his reputation in the end.

Mr. Smith’s point above is what? Beware, those of you who talk about subjects some professionals do not understand! Maybe that instructor was awesome because of his ki work. Plus, people get deluded for many reasons. Since the individual isn’t named or the specific facts leading to his downfall are not revealed, the above is merely innuendo. It’s a ‘beware of stepping outside of the box’ statement with no real value.

It’s easy to be duped in this world. As the Buddha urged, don't believe anything until you’ve experienced its truth or falsity for yourself. I didn’t believe or disbelieve in Ki for twenty-five years in my career. Honestly, I didn't really care about the subject. Then one day I decided to investigate. I’m now part of a growing group of professionals in multiple systems looking at a fascinating subject that has engaged long-term martial artists, scientists, and philosophers from around the world for centuries.

Mr. James and Mr. Smith’s comments misrepresent Rebel Isshinryu in the above thread with misleading opinions and false understandings that touches nothing substantive in the book. I invite them both to gain a better understanding of our research here. They are entitled to hold to their current paradigm, but if it involves public statements regarding my work, I will continue to be the rebel and challenge them with equal fervor and with a different perspective.

Readers must choose for yourself, which way they want to proceed. I merely point to some exciting alternatives.

Hayashi Tomio, Shifu

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