#I’d be like screaming it from the rooftops hahahaha

[rosicheeks]

Oops. Didn’t mean to stir up old drama. Hopefully you find somebody else you are comfortable with that can give you the sex you deserve instead of him.

No no no you didn’t 😂

[pepperful-qt]

pepper do you have any advice for people who want to pursue their passion (art/music/etc) as a profession or get it as a college course but arent really that good at it? i dunno dude, theres a lot of greater artists out there (u included btw) and i jus kinda ?????? yk? + having art/music as a profession doesnt really pay well in my country

hey lovely! you flatter me hahahaha 💖 it's a pretty complex situation but i'll try my best💙 i do want to clarify that the nature of my profession is moreso based on clients and studios rather than freelance do-your-own-thing illustrator type thing. bc of that my thinking is a bit different, but I still have musician and other fine arts friends

you say you aren't that good at it, but natural talent isn't what matters. true that to a degree there is that "artistic sense", but like your skills it's something that can be honed, refined, and built upon. very few are prodigies. know that anything artistic is malleable and dynamic and will change, you just need to be willing to both do it and put in the effort to do so

if it's your passion, don't let it go. just don't. i promise even if you don't make it your profession, looking back years later you will regret giving it up completely.

there's always someone that will be better than you. it's just reality. for someone outrageously competitive like me it's infuriating and disheartening (i get it, trust me). there's different approaches to this depending on you: you can go with it & pursue your passion anyway because it's something you enjoy and that's what matters, and you let the fact that there are others above you drive you. Or, like me, you push yourself to specialize in a certain area and become unique enough to stand out. there's no easy or straightforward answer to it, but it's a reality everyone has to deal with, artists more than anyone

MOTIVATION & SELF CONFIDENCE & INSPIRATION ARE NOT CONSTANTS wow i wish i could scream that from the rooftops. it's so so so normal to get stuck it a rutt or block. they last a long time occasionally. some artists have tricks they do, but know that slumps are normal and it's okay to take breaks!

have another job! this was my high school art teacher's advice to me & even though i kinda ignored him it is good advice! it's literally what Semi does lol. you can have a well paying job you use to keep yourself afloat (in Semi's case, civil servant) and fund your artistic pursuits! you can even double major or minor in whatever art or music you're interested in if that's an option. for me, ik how computers work and some niche programming that could definitely get me by in a software or IT company if i needed to. i also draw/paint/do photography on the side, the latter of which i get a bit of money for. it's totally a viable option for you if the arts don't pay well in your country.

fine arts is not just painting and drawing and music etc. i go to an art school where everything is a BFA. film, vfx, game design, graphic design, industrial design, dance, etc are all fine arts. your options are open! i'm not sure exactly what your interest is, but there's lots of options for you. all i knew was i wanted to work in film or games, and i ended up doing something very tech savvy that could fit in both! true there's less creative freedom and more technical skill involved, but i still have those other passions i do on the side :)

those who just rely on natural talent don't make it that far. there are countless technical and life skills you need to learn as well. for something like graphic design, sculpture, drawing, etc, you can learn about composition, color theory, and the principles of design

ik i said don't give it up, but also don't strain yourself to make it work. mentally, financially, physically, or otherwise. your quality of life is important, and the phrase "you'll be happy as long as you're doing what you love" only goes so far if you're struggling to make ends meet and starving or not feeding yourself well, or giving yourself injuries in the very body that allows you to follow this passion.

Art is a risk, in more ways than one. it's upsetting how art has fallen to the wayside and is disregarded as a waste of a profession when the world functions on art, and has literally since humans had original thought. take an art history class, it'll change your perspective. look out for yourself and your quality of life! push yourself, yes, but not over a cliff

i'd pay money for someone to tell me a universally accepted answer to what makes art or an artist "good"

i hope this was somewhat helpful and if you have any follow up questions lmk!

[purplesurveys]

917

What did you last bite? The last piece of mussel for dinner last night. Have you ever been lost in your own neighborhood? Haha yes. While my village is big, I’ve only taken the one route going home in ever since we moved here. In the handful of times I decided to take a new turn for a change in scenery, I always ended up getting lost. Is your bed big enough for two people? For me and a significant other, sure. I’d feel awkward if I had to share space with anyone else because it’s only a twin and I wouldn’t want to be that physically close with people. What is your favorite board game? Not a big board game kind of girl.

When was the last time you used a calculator? The other day. I got free tuition in college but the student portal still shows me what my tuition fees would have been for each sem if they were never waived, so what I did was add them all to see what my four years of schooling would’ve cost my parents. It wasn’t a lot at all, and when I told my dad the total amount he told me that was just one semester for my sister (we went/go to different schools). And of course that got me all restless because education is not supposed to be expensive, and I got annoyed because online classes aren’t supposed to cost so fucking much.

Was your last smile real? Yes. Can you live without the most important person in your life? It will suck but I can. Have you ever done something to harm yourself? Yes, more times than I’d like to admit. When was the last time you climbed a tree? I’ve never done that. Have you ever been so hot that you became cold? No, but I’ve felt the opposite.

What is the closest thing to you that is rainbow colored? My shirt! Do believe that wishes come true? Yes. What is the last thing you watched on tv? The last thing I watched on Netflix was Unsolved Mysteries, the Alonzo Brooks episode. It was okay, very tragic; but not as intense as the Dupont de Ligonnès ep. That one was just wild. Can you touch your toes? For a couple of seconds, but that’s pushing it and my legs would already be in discomfort by then. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? Nope, that hasn’t happened to me. Have you ever talked to a therapist? No, Counselors yes, but not a therapist. I know I kind of need to, but I don’t know if I can. I’ve built a big 22-year-old wall around me and I don’t know if I’m ready to start dismantling it with a complete stranger. Who protects you? Myself, for the most part. When was the last time you showered? This morning. What can you do that none of your friends can do? Parallel park. Hahahaha When was the last time you heard someone scream? There’s a house near us with a noisy toddler who likes to scream. They were making noise this morning. Who was the last person to call you baby? My girlfriend.

Why did you last go to the airport? I was picking up my mom - she had come from a cruise with my dad and didn’t have a ride home, so she asked to be picked up after my classes. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? Gab. Have you ever showered with another person? Yeah but only a few times. We’re rarely in a situation where we had to shower together, and it’s safe to say that the last time we did was at least a year ago. Whose room were you last in? My own, then I moved here downstairs about an hour ago because the silence in my room was starting to make me depressed. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? Yuh, a big one. When you woke up how did you feel? Cold and cozy, but a little downcast. When was the last time you were sick? Last May. Where is your thinking place? Living room couch, my bed, or the rooftop. Or anywhere with a nice view. Have you ever pretended not to like something because of friends? A few times. There was one time in grade school where I brought lunch and that particular day I had mayonnaise as a condiment along with it. So many kids were disgusted and made it a point to say “eww” in front of my food, and I was 1) confused because mayo was such a common ingredient in my home, and we didn’t have a lot back then; and 2) embarrassed and rejected because I didn’t know kids could be so nasty. I refused to have mayo in public for years after that. Who is on your speed-dial? I don’t use that option. Are you able to forget people easily? Not at all. When was the last time you went to the bathroom? An hour ago. What disgusts you about bathrooms? I don’t find anything innately disgusting about them since restrooms are where we do normal human stuff. What I do find disgusting are unmaintained public restrooms. Like there are just some out there that don’t have an attendant at all and it’s always those restrooms with the broken flush, unexplained smudges on the wall, and smell of piss. Who yelled at you last? I think it was my mom. How often do you get hiccups? Not very. Handful of times a year. Have you ever been sneezed on? Just by my girlfriend a few times. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? Yes. I was like 7 and I fell asleep while chewing gum. When I woke up it was in my hair, but surprisingly it wasn’t a pain to remove. Has a bird ever pooped on you? No, thank goodness. Only all around my car but that’s it. What can you tell me about clocks? I can tell you that it was a crucial material in the movie Hugo, but that’s all I got.

[dear-seung]

for best birthday boy puppy, part two :)

( ← part one)

“i wasn’t lying when i said that i loved you” (cont.)

[june 21st, 7:45 pm]

you went to meet yongha at one of the cute cafes you found last week for your birthday!!

it has charming little rooftop that wasn’t being used for anything so yongha was able to work with the owner to arrange a little cafe picnic for the two of you to just hang out and enjoy the sunset together uwu

this is your first time meeting up with him since your little...experience on the train

and you’ve been unsure how to proceed with your feelings for him

he doesn’t seem to be any different from before?

his texting frequency is the same

the way he speaks to you is...mostly the same? you think?

there is excessive heart emoji use!!

but he’s always been that way with you so nvm

so you figure he really has no recollection of what he said or he just didn’t mean it the way you interpreted it

or he did intend to say it but is just too embarrassed to admit it being yongha

or he really was just referring to the plushie lol

BUT HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING

you’re still hesitant to bring up what happened because you don’t wanna make him uncomfy or anything like that

so you plan on just keeping quiet and trying to focus on enjoying your day even though your heart still hasn’t settled down !!

but then. u get there

and he’s already set everything up

complete with a bouquet of your most favorite flowers, bubble tea, assorted pastries, and the cutest birthday cupcake just for you

and oh no

he brought the cat plushie along

IS YOUR HEART A JOKE TO HIM

and he’s just sitting there glowing at you like a happy lil pupper and making the plushie’s tiny paw wave! at! you!

and you‘re overcome with adoration for him like actually wtf is this level of cuteness ALLOWED

that right there!! that’s your prince!! your universe

he truly does love you, even if it’s not in the way you hope he does

and you always thought it didn’t matter whether he shared mutual feelings for you because you’d never had a friend who cared so much for you and treated you so well

and that was always more than enough for you

but gosh darn it he’s officially made his home in your heart and there’s no going back and it’s all his fault

but right now you just want to go celebrate your day with your favorite boy without any feelings interfering

so you go sit with him and at first everything feels relaxed like always when you’re with him, it’s nice!! u can do this!! 

u can have a normal evening with the boy who may or may not have confessed his feelings for u not long ago!!

you’re just enjoying each other’s presence and your yummy desserts

and making little small talk here and there about how lovely the skyline looks against the sunset, how your birthday has been so far, and so on

and you’re pretty sure he’s a direct gift from the universe because you literally see stars shining in his eyes when he’s talking

and you start wondering if maybe you should confess to him i mean?

are you just supposed to suffer forever?

hmeck no u deserve some closure!

he started it anyway so it wouldn’t be your fault if it went wro-

wait oh god oh no he’s staring at you and not talking anymore

he can see right through you, can’t he ??? HE KNOWS THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, DOESN’T HE ???

so you look away and start fidgeting with your hands and then yongha just kinda...

takes full hold of one of your hands so softly as though your hand was the most delicate thing on the planet

and ur just ???!!!!!!!!!!!

and he’s just ???!!!!!!!!!!

now he’s the one fidgeting with your hand out of panic but there’s no backing out not now?? he’s gotta say something??

y: “wow your hand looked really soft and YEP i was right haha”

y: “hahahaha”

y:  (;;;*_*)

p: (o_o)

but u noticed he wasn’t letting go 

and you’re both internally screaming 

y: “actually i have something i wanted to ask um,”

y: “i- um- puppy i- you um- did you hear, on the train last week? what i said?”

his ears were burning red and he was struggling to maintain eye contact help him

p: “UH”

p: “i-i think i did if you mean...what i think you mean”

p: “BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AS A FRIEND SO I DIDNT INTERPRET IT AS ANYTHING WEIRD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT HAHA DON’T WORRY”

[embarrassed yongha laughter ensues]

y: “no...really, i-”

y: “i wasn’t lying when i said that i loved you”

y: “i mean...i really love you”

HE WHAT

you’re sitting there trying to process everything while your face keeps getting redder to match his

his soul has officially left his body at this point he thinks he’s RUINED your birthday

if you’ve never heard keyboard smash in word form, well now u have

he has his face buried in his hands as he’s trying to make words bc he knows there’s no getting out of this without elaborating

y: “i just...i had the best day with you and i’d been wanting to confess to you f-for a really long time and i didn’t plan on saying it like that but i wasn’t...fully in control...”

y: “but i know what i said”

y: “i think my feelings for you have become so natural that my heart just...took over and it slipped out”

y: “i didn’t know if you even heard what i said or assigned meaning to it and i didn’t want to make things awkward so i wasn’t going to bring it up again”

y: “but being with you in person again...being surrounded by your light”

y: “i was overcome with the need to tell you that i meant what i said...t-that i love you”

you saw him getting progressively more flustered as he spoke

but he made a point of looking you in the eyes as he spoke which took EVERYTHING he had

but he had never looked at you so sincerely when speaking to you

and you’d never been more endeared by him

y: “but anyway!!!!!!!!”

y: “it’s your birthday so we can talk about that later o-or not! uh, how do you like your snac-”

your heart is just!! so overwhelmed that you can’t even let him finish

you gently took his face in your hands and leaned in to give him the softiest kiss on the cheek

and he’s just (♡_♡) is this real life?!?!?

p: “i’m sorry, i’ve just been needing to do that since last week”

p: “i mean...since i met you, honestly”

now u have truly done it, ~k.o yongha~

he’s overcome with relief!! overjoy!! L O V E!!

u are his ANGEL, u have always been his angel

but his heart is also in absolute shambles !!!!!!!!

so he reacts how he always does when he’s flustered and just starts giggling and covering his mouth GOD HE’S SO CUTE

his laugh is forever the most heavenly sound you’ve ever heard

and the way his eyes turn into crescent moons and his little nose scrunches :’( :'( :'(

he really is your whole! universe! and you can’t believe he clearly never knew

and he feels the same with you like? has he really been that good at hiding his feelings this whole time bc you seemed surprised so ????

but you’ll have plenty of time to talk about your long history of secret feelings for each other later~

right now, you just want to shower your

?! boyfriend ?!

in the love you’ve been longing to give him since day one

so you take his face back in your hands and give him another kiss because how can you resist

and look up into his eyes that are looking back at you so with so much love that your heart can hardly take it

as you finally take your chance to say what you’ve been wanting to for so long

p: “i really love you, too, yongha”

p: “my sweet boy”

[blueares]

Ruination Rewrite: Shurima

Shurima Part I

In a flash of light, you, Lucian and Rengar find yourselves standing in a large, rectangular chamber. The place is immaculately kept compared to most of the previous outposts you’ve been to and dimly lit by the glow of candles.

Lucian: “Looks like we’re in luck. This place doesn’t seem like it was hit as bad other outposts, and the candles are a sure sign that someone’s been here recently.”

“It’s pretty quiet though.”

“Hello!? Anyone here?”

No one responds. The outpost seems completely vacant, until…

Rengar: “What was that!?”

Rengar wheels around toward the entrance, readying his blades. You and Lucian follow his gaze to see a hooded figure standing in the doorway, pointing a weapon at you.

“A thief!?”

“Uh, hi… We’re looking for Sentinels?”

??? response 1: “Ha! That is amusing! You have come into MY home unannounced, so clearly YOU must be the thieves here.”

??? response 2: “Looking for Sentinels, you say? Well, you have found me. A shame you will not return to your masters tell the tale.”

Lucian: “Hold on! You’re saying that YOU’RE a Sentinel, took?”

The hooded figure cocks his head an examines you more closely. He lowers his gun as realization seems to dawn on him. Suddenly, the stranger steps forward and lowers his hood.

???: “Well, well! Judging by your clothes and weapons, unless those are also stolen, it seems that you are not mere thieves after-all.”

Lucian: “Hell no we’re not! We’re Sentinels, same as you.”

Akshan: “Ah, how fortunate for you! If you were anyone else, I might have shot you dead! Ah, but where are my manners? Please, call me Akshan.”

You and the others quickly introduce yourselves.

Lucian: “Listen, Akshan, we need to talk to your commanding officer. Any idea where we can find them?”

Akshan: “Ah… I am afraid you are out of luck, my friend. My mentor… She is dead at the moment.”

Lucian: “…At this point, I’m not even surprised. Damn it.”

Akshan: “Ah, but do not worry! She will live again soon, once I find the scoundrel responsible for her death!”

Lucian: “…Come again?”

“Hang on, I recognize that weapon!”

“Wait, take a closer look at his grappling hook! Is that…?”

Akshan: “Ah, so you recognize this? Indeed, is it a legendary Sentinel weapon, one with the power to restore the dead to life: the Absolver!”

Rengar: “So this is the ‘secret weapon’ spoken of by the warden?”

Lucian: “The Absolver… So it’s true? It can bring the dead back to life?”

Akshan: “Yes, but… Not without a price.”

“What sort of price?”

“Well that sounds ominous.”

Akshan: “Haha, worry not, my young friend! You see, the Absolver can only restore the lives of those who have been wrongly killed. All one has to do is find the killer, slay them with this weapon, and that scoundrel’s victims will be returned to life!”

Lucian: “Tch… Guess it would be too easy if there wasn’t a catch. All of this still founds pretty far-fetched to me, though. How do we know this thing even works?”

Akshan: “You doubt me? Well then, I suppose you will have to witness it for yourselves! I was just preparing to set out in search of Shadya’s killer! Once I find and kill them, my mentor will return to life, and all will be well.”

Rengar: “So it’s a hunt then? In that case, we should join him!”

Lucian: “Well, guess it can’t hurt, since we’re already here. In that case, lead the way, Akshan. Show us that this Absolver is all it’s cracked up to be.”

Akshan: “Wonderful! Follow me, but do try to keep up!”

Akshan fires his grappling hook and pulls himself up out the open window.

Lucian: “You heard him, Sentinels! After him!”

Shurima Part II

You follow Akshan as he grapples across the dunes, his sights set on a city in the distance. By the time you reach the gates, you find yourself nearly out of breath, though Akshan is calmly leaning against the wall, inspecting his weapon.

Akshan: Ah, it seems you slowpokes have finally arrived! I was just about to go on without you.”

“Why does… The Absolver… Have a grappling hook anyway!?”

“Just give me… A minute…”

Akshan response 1: “Oh, that? That is my own addition to the weapon. Impressive, no?”

Akshan response 2: “A short rest, friend. After that, we do not stop until the scoundrel is caught!”

Rengar: “Such nimble prey… It is a shame YOU are not my target.”

Akshan ignores Rengar’s comment and turns his attention toward a large building near the center of the city.

Akshan: “There. That is the home of the Viper, a warlord who has claimed control of the entire region. I am certain that she is the one who killed Shadya.”

Lucian: “What makes you so sure?”

Akshan: “Shadya was… A brave woman. Strong. Defiant. She put her Sentinel duties above all else. She fended off countless thieves and scoundrels seeking to plunder the outpost for Relics, once even driving off acolytes of Xerath himself. She was a hero, but she made many powerful enemies. The Viper was one of them.”

“She sounds like an incredible person.”

“She sounds like a true Sentinel.”

Akshan: “She was… But you will see for yourself soon enough. Now then, to the palace!”

Akshan takes the lead once more, grappling through the city streets. He leads you through alleyways and across rooftops, finally bringing you around to the back of the palace. In the blink of an eye, Akshan dispatches a pair of guards with a boomerang strapped to his built.

Akshan: “Ha! This is almost too easy.”

Suddenly, the sky above you turns dark. You look up to see a massive cloud of Black Mist forming above the palace. In an instant, the whole building as beset by wraiths as the Harrowing descends upon the city.

Lucian: “You had to say something!?”

Rengar: “The Black Mist! This is the Ruined King’s doing, yes?”

Akshan: “Who?”

Lucian: “You’re kidding, right? Viego? The Ruined King? Lord of the Shadow Isles? He’s the whole damn reason the Sentinels exist!”

Akshan: “Never heard of him, but to be honest I never paid much attention to Shadya’s history lessons.”

“But why would the Black Mist show up here all of a sudden?”

“If the Mist is here, then there must be a fetter inside the palace!”

Lucian response 1: “Only one reason the wraiths would come to a place like this: there must a fetter inside!”

Lucian response 2: “My thoughts exactly, Rook! We need to get inside that palace!”

Akshan: “Well then, enough talk! We are what we do!”

Akshan grapples his way up through the window, leaving the rest of you to make your way inside by himself.

Lucian: “Dunno what he meant by that, but he’s right! Sentinels, let’s get in there and find that fetter!”

Shurima Part III

You race into the palace, only to find the building already under siege. The guards cry out as they are beset by wraiths, and many of the palaces residents are struggling to escape in all the chaos.

Lucian: “Weapons free, Sentinels!”

Lucian and Rengar carve a path through the undead, blasting and cutting down any wraiths that stand in their path. You follow close behind, occasionally flashing your Relicstone shard at any ghosts that get too close.

Rengar: “Hahahaha! I am the apex hunter once more! It is only a shame I cannot claim these wraiths’ heads to mount my wall!”

Lucian: “Focus, cat! We need to find that fetter before anyone else does! Rookie, can you tell which way the Mist is flowing?”

Your eyes scan the surrounding corridors, watching the movements of the Mist carefully. You quickly noticed that the wraiths seem to filling a corridor on your right, making for a large open room.

“There! The Mist is heading that way!”

“If I had to guess, I’d say the fetter is in that room!”

Lucian: “Got it!”

Lucian and Rengar quickly take point, lighting up the hallway with their weapons. You follow them into what appears to be a massive art gallery, filled with elaborate paintings and ornate pottery. Your gaze darts around the room in search of the fetter, only to fall upon a familiar figure at the other end.

Vex: “So this is it, huh Shadow? Ugh, I guess it must be. It’s so… Girly.”

Vex lifts a decorative plate covered in floral patters off of one of the displays.

“Vex!”

“She’s got the fetter!”

Vex: “What the- Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me. You guys again?”

Lucian: “Drop the fetter, yordle!”

Vex: “Honestly, I’m tempted to. This thing almost hurting my eyes with how sweet it is, but Viego needs it to turn the world dark and ugly. Also, the name’s Vex, not that you care.”

Rengar: “It does not matter! Soon, you will be dinner!”

Rengar chucks a bola from his belt, but Vex’s shadow effortlessly snatches it out of the air.

Vex: “Alright, I wasn’t in the mood to talk anyway. I’m not really in the mood to fight, either. So, you can all just… Stop.”

Your eyes widen in alarm as you realize what’s about to happen, but you’re too late to evade it. Vex’s shadow stretches across the ground and extends beneath your feet, trapping you and your allies in place.

Vex: “Come to think of it, aren’t there usually more of you? Eh, whatever. I’m not sticking around to get ambushed again.”

Vex hops through an open window with the fetter in hand. Moments later, the shadow disappears, freeing you and your allies once more.

Lucian: “Damn! We gotta go after her!”

Rengar: “Bah! Yordles are hardly worthy prey, but I will make an exception this once!”

You hurry out the window in pursuit of Vex, dashing into the Mist-filled streets in pursuit of the fetter.

Shurima Part IV

You run as fast as your legs can carry you, but Vex remains a step ahead, rounding corners and ducking under spaces only someone of her stature could fit through. To make matters worse, you find yourself constantly slowed down by screaming citizens and howling wraiths. It’s not long before you lose sight of Vex completely.

“It’s like Buhru all over again!”

“I don’t see her anymore!”

Suddenly, a familiar figure lands on the ground in front of you, effortlessly dispatching a pack of wraiths with his boomerang.

Akshan: “We meet again, friends! Have you seen a wicked-looking woman covered in snake tattoos? I’m afraid the Viper managed to slip away during all the commotion, but I believe I saw her come this way.”

Lucian: “Forget about her! Vex got away with the fetter, and we’ve lost sight of her!”

Akshan: “Who has gotten away with the what now?”

Lucian: “Ugh, nevermind! Look, we need you to grapple up and see if you can spot a yordle with a giant shadow following her.”

Akshan: “No can do! I must catch the Viper’s trail before it grows cold!”

Lucian: “Your warlord can wait! If that yordle gets away, the Ruined King will get even more powerful!”

Akshan: “I am afraid that is not my concern.”

“How can you say that? Aren’t you a Sentinel?”

“Listen to yourself! Would Shadya approve that decision?”

Akshan: “…Shadya was indeed a great Sentinel, and she would put the fate of the world over her own desires in a heartbeat. However, that is not who I am. If my mentor disapproves, she can scold me about it later!”

Akshan grapples away and vanishes into the rooftops, leaving the three of you alone.

“Fine! Why counted on you anyway!?”

“So you’re running away, just like that!?”

Rengar: “Let him go. He has his hunt, and we have ours.”

Lucian: “Cat’s right. Can’t say I approve, but we need to pick up that yordle’s trail!”

You resume your hunt through the city, relying on Rengar’s keen instincts and honed senses to try and pick up Vex’s trail again. Eventually, you manage to track her to the outskirts of the city, where Vex has summoned another shadowy portal.

Lucian: “Hold it!”

Lucian dashes toward the portal and fires a single burst of light with both guns. The portal dissipates in an instant, leaving Vex all by herself in the desert.

Vex: “Oh. My. Gosh. You guys just don’t give up, do you?”

“Nope!”

“We’ve got you cornered now!”

Vex: “Ugh, do you have any idea how annoying that relentless optimism thing is? Alright, fine. I guess I’m not getting out of here until I deal with you three, so…”

Vex’s shadow grows slightly larger behind her, its eyes taking on a menacing glare.

Vex: “Let’s just get this over with!”

Shurima Part V

Light and shadow clash openly in the desert. The sands shift and the air rings out with the sounds of spells, blades and gunfire. Lucian and Rengar move so swiftly that your eyes struggle to follow them both, but Vex holds them at bay with dark magics.

Lucian: “Damn! Rookie, you wanna pitch in here?”

“Vex, why do are you working with Viego?”

“I don’t get it, aren’t yordles supposed to be more positive?”

Vex: “Ugh, you sound like my parents! ‘You should smile more, Vex. You’d be happier if you wore brighter colors, Vex.’ Shut up! All I want is a world where everything is dark and gloomy! A world where Shadow and I can just be ourselves without anyone judging us!”

Suddenly, Vex hurls a lob of darkness at you, knocking you back into the sand.

Lucian: “Rookie! You alri- OOF!”

Vex’s shadow lashes out at Lucian, sending him flying back as well. Rengar lets out a might roar as he lunges at Vex, only for the shadow to grab him out of the air and chuck him through the air. The hunter lands right next to you, a growl of annoyance leaving his throat.

Rengar: “It seems that yordles are fiercer than I imagined…”

Vex: “You guys really oughta get a clue. I mean, do you really think you can beat Viego? Just because there’s more of you? Even YOU guys can’t be that dense.”

You, Lucian and Rengar struggle to your feet in front of Vex, readying yourselves for another round.

“It’s not about whether or not we CAN beat him. We HAVE to!”

“You may want a darker future, Vex, but we’re fighting for a brighter one!”

“We’re Sentinels of Light! We never give up!”

Lucian: “The kid’s right! We’ll keep pushin’ back the darkness ‘til the bitter end!”

Rengar: “I will mount the Ruined King’s head upon my wall!”

Vex: “Oh, wow, nice speech. Too bad your allies weren’t around to hear it. I wonder how they’re doing right about now…”

Lucian: “What do you mean?”

Vex: “Ugh, more questions. Forget it. You won’t be seeing them again anyway.”

Vex readies another spell, but before she can unleash it, a flurry of a Relic light rains down upon her shadow. Vex recoils as a familiar hooded figures descended from a nearby rock formation, landing gracefully in the sands before you.

Akshan: “Hello, friends. I hope I have not kept you long.”

“Akshan!”

“What are you doing here?”

Akshan response 1: “Yes, it is I! feel free to applause!”

Akshan response 2: “Is it not obvious? I am here to aid you in your time of need!”

Rengar: “What about your prey? Did you lose the trail?”

Akshan: “Well… Not exactly. I thought about what you all said before, about a Sentinel’s duty and my mentor’s wishes. Shadya would want me to help you, even if it means letting the Viper go… For now. Besides, there is little point in bring her back to a world ruled by undeath!”

Lucian: “Glad to see you came around. Now, let’s take this yordle down together and grab that fetter!”

Lucian, Akshan and Rengar resume their battle stances, but Vex merely stands and dusts herself off, unimpressed.

Vex: “You know, for all this talk of ‘comradery’ or whatever, you guys sure don’t have any trouble leaving your friends to fend for themselves.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you know about our friends?”

Vex: “Oh come on, you haven’t figured it out yet?”

Vex holds up the plate, almost mockingly.

Vex: “Come on, use your heads for once. This is the last fetter, meaning that the only ones Viego hasn’t gotten yet are the ones you guys had in your base. Why do you think I came to get this one by myself?”

Realization slowly washes over you, followed by dread. You think back to Thresh’s words in Kumungu.

Thresh: “…You have lost nearly every battle and acquired only a single fetter for your efforts. In time, the king will storm your headquarters and render that small victory moot.”

Lucian: “…Rookie, fire up the Wayfinder. We’re going back.”

“It could be a bluff!”

“But she still has the fetter!”

Lucian response 1: “I’m not risking it! Get us out of here, now!”

Lucian response 2: “I don’t care! We need to get back and make sure Senna’s alright! The others, too!”

On Lucian’s orders, you pull the Wayfinder from your belt and raise it skyward, letting its light wash over you. Vex gives you one last knowing smirk as the desert around you disappears in a flash.

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons: Ruination Episode (Shurima)

Shurima Part I

In a flash of light, you, Lucian and Rengar find yourselves standing in a large, rectangular chamber. The place is immaculately kept compared to most of the previous outposts you’ve been to and dimly lit by the glow of candles.

Lucian: “Looks like we’re in luck. This place doesn’t seem like it was hit as bad other outposts, and the candles are a sure sign that someone’s been here recently.”

“It’s pretty quiet though.”

“Hello!? Anyone here?”

No one responds. The outpost seems completely vacant, until…

Rengar: “What was that!?”

Rengar wheels around toward the entrance, readying his blades. You and Lucian follow his gaze to see a hooded figure standing in the doorway, pointing a weapon at you.

“A thief!?”

“Uh, hi… We’re looking for Sentinels?”

??? response 1: “Ha! That is amusing! You have come into MY home unannounced, so clearly YOU must be the thieves here.”

??? response 2: “Looking for Sentinels, you say? Well, you have found me. A shame you will not return to your masters tell the tale.”

Lucian: “Hold on! You’re saying that YOU’RE a Sentinel, took?”

The hooded figure cocks his head an examines you more closely. He lowers his gun as realization seems to dawn on him. Suddenly, the stranger steps forward and lowers his hood.

???: “Well, well! Judging by your clothes and weapons, unless those are also stolen, it seems that you are not mere thieves after-all.”

Lucian: “Hell no we’re not! We’re Sentinels, same as you.”

Akshan: “Ah, how fortunate for you! If you were anyone else, I might have shot you dead! Ah, but where are my manners? Please, call me Akshan.”

You and the others quickly introduce yourselves.

Lucian: “Listen, Akshan, we need to talk to your commanding officer. Any idea where we can find them?”

Akshan: “Ah… I am afraid you are out of luck, my friend. My mentor… She is dead at the moment.”

Lucian: “…At this point, I’m not even surprised. Damn it.”

Akshan: “Ah, but do not worry! She will live again soon, once I find the scoundrel responsible for her death!”

Lucian: “…Come again?”

“Hang on, I recognize that weapon!”

“Wait, take a closer look at his grappling hook! Is that…?”

Akshan: “Ah, so you recognize this? Indeed, is it a legendary Sentinel weapon, one with the power to restore the dead to life: the Absolver!”

Rengar: “So this is the ‘secret weapon’ spoken of by the warden?”

Lucian: “The Absolver… So it’s true? It can bring the dead back to life?”

Akshan: “Yes, but… Not without a price.”

“What sort of price?”

“Well that sounds ominous.”

Akshan: “Haha, worry not, my young friend! You see, the Absolver can only restore the lives of those who have been wrongly killed. All one has to do is find the killer, slay them with this weapon, and that scoundrel’s victims will be returned to life!”

Lucian: “Tch… Guess it would be too easy if there wasn’t a catch. All of this still founds pretty far-fetched to me, though. How do we know this thing even works?”

Akshan: “You doubt me? Well then, I suppose you will have to witness it for yourselves! I was just preparing to set out in search of Shadya’s killer! Once I find and kill them, my mentor will return to life, and all will be well.”

Rengar: “So it’s a hunt then? In that case, we should join him!”

Lucian: “Well, guess it can’t hurt, since we’re already here. In that case, lead the way, Akshan. Show us that this Absolver is all it’s cracked up to be.”

Akshan: “Wonderful! Follow me, but do try to keep up!”

Akshan fires his grappling hook and pulls himself up out the open window.

Lucian: “You heard him, Sentinels! After him!”

Shurima Part II

You follow Akshan as he grapples across the dunes, his sights set on a city in the distance. By the time you reach the gates, you find yourself nearly out of breath, though Akshan is calmly leaning against the wall, inspecting his weapon.

Akshan: Ah, it seems you slowpokes have finally arrived! I was just about to go on without you.”

“Why does… The Absolver… Have a grappling hook anyway!?”

“Just give me… A minute…”

Akshan response 1: “Oh, that? That is my own addition to the weapon. Impressive, no?”

Akshan response 2: “A short rest, friend. After that, we do not stop until the scoundrel is caught!”

Rengar: “Such nimble prey… It is a shame YOU are not my target.”

Akshan ignores Rengar’s comment and turns his attention toward a large building near the center of the city.

Akshan: “There. That is the home of the Viper, a warlord who has claimed control of the entire region. I am certain that she is the one who killed Shadya.”

Lucian: “What makes you so sure?”

Akshan: “Shadya was… A brave woman. Strong. Defiant. She put her Sentinel duties above all else. She fended off countless thieves and scoundrels seeking to plunder the outpost for Relics, once even driving off acolytes of Xerath himself. She was a hero, but she made many powerful enemies. The Viper was one of them.”

“She sounds like an incredible person.”

“She sounds like a true Sentinel.”

Akshan: “She was… But you will see for yourself soon enough. Now then, to the palace!”

Akshan takes the lead once more, grappling through the city streets. He leads you through alleyways and across rooftops, finally bringing you around to the back of the palace. In the blink of an eye, Akshan dispatches a pair of guards with a boomerang strapped to his built.

Akshan: “Ha! This is almost too easy.”

Suddenly, the sky above you turns dark. You look up to see a massive cloud of Black Mist forming above the palace. In an instant, the whole building as beset by wraiths as the Harrowing descends upon the city.

Lucian: “You had to say something!?”

Rengar: “The Black Mist! This is the Ruined King’s doing, yes?”

Akshan: “Who?”

Lucian: “You’re kidding, right? Viego? The Ruined King? Lord of the Shadow Isles? He’s the whole damn reason the Sentinels exist!”

Akshan: “Never heard of him, but to be honest I never paid much attention to Shadya’s history lessons.”

“But why would the Black Mist show up here all of a sudden?”

“If the Mist is here, then there must be a fetter inside the palace!”

Lucian response 1: “Only one reason the wraiths would come to a place like this: there must a fetter inside!”

Lucian response 2: “My thoughts exactly, Rook! We need to get inside that palace!”

Akshan: “Well then, enough talk! We are what we do!”

Akshan grapples his way up through the window, leaving the rest of you to make your way inside by himself.

Lucian: “Dunno what he meant by that, but he’s right! Sentinels, let’s get in there and find that fetter!”

Shurima Part III

You race into the palace, only to find the building already under siege. The guards cry out as they are beset by wraiths, and many of the palaces residents are struggling to escape in all the chaos.

Lucian: “Weapons free, Sentinels!”

Lucian and Rengar carve a path through the undead, blasting and cutting down any wraiths that stand in their path. You follow close behind, occasionally flashing your Relicstone shard at any ghosts that get too close.

Rengar: “Hahahaha! I am the apex hunter once more! It is only a shame I cannot claim these wraiths’ heads to mount my wall!”

Lucian: “Focus, cat! We need to find that fetter before anyone else does! Rookie, can you tell which way the Mist is flowing?”

Your eyes scan the surrounding corridors, watching the movements of the Mist carefully. You quickly noticed that the wraiths seem to filling a corridor on your right, making for a large open room.

“There! The Mist is heading that way!”

“If I had to guess, I’d say the fetter is in that room!”

Lucian: “Got it!”

Lucian and Rengar quickly take point, lighting up the hallway with their weapons. You follow them into what appears to be a massive art gallery, filled with elaborate paintings and ornate pottery. Your gaze darts around the room in search of the fetter, only to fall upon a familiar figure at the other end.

Vex: “So this is it, huh Shadow? Ugh, I guess it must be. It’s so… Girly.”

Vex lifts a decorative plate covered in floral patters off of one of the displays.

“Vex!”

“She’s got the fetter!”

Vex: “What the- Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me. You guys again?”

Lucian: “Drop the fetter, yordle!”

Vex: “Honestly, I’m tempted to. This thing almost hurting my eyes with how sweet it is, but Viego needs it to turn the world dark and ugly. Also, the name’s Vex, not that you care.”

Rengar: “It does not matter! Soon, you will be dinner!”

Rengar chucks a bola from his belt, but Vex’s shadow effortlessly snatches it out of the air.

Vex: “Alright, I wasn’t in the mood to talk anyway. I’m not really in the mood to fight, either. So, you can all just… Stop.”

Your eyes widen in alarm as you realize what’s about to happen, but you’re too late to evade it. Vex’s shadow stretches across the ground and extends beneath your feet, trapping you and your allies in place.

Vex: “Come to think of it, aren’t there usually more of you? Eh, whatever. I’m not sticking around to get ambushed again.”

Vex hops through an open window with the fetter in hand. Moments later, the shadow disappears, freeing you and your allies once more.

Lucian: “Damn! We gotta go after her!”

Rengar: “Bah! Yordles are hardly worthy prey, but I will make an exception this once!”

You hurry out the window in pursuit of Vex, dashing into the Mist-filled streets in pursuit of the fetter.

Shurima Part IV

You run as fast as your legs can carry you, but Vex remains a step ahead, rounding corners and ducking under spaces only someone of her stature could fit through. To make matters worse, you find yourself constantly slowed down by screaming citizens and howling wraiths. It’s not long before you lose sight of Vex completely.

“It’s like Buhru all over again!”

“I don’t see her anymore!”

Suddenly, a familiar figure lands on the ground in front of you, effortlessly dispatching a pack of wraiths with his boomerang.

Akshan: “We meet again, friends! Have you seen a wicked-looking woman covered in snake tattoos? I’m afraid the Viper managed to slip away during all the commotion, but I believe I saw her come this way.”

Lucian: “Forget about her! Vex got away with the fetter, and we’ve lost sight of her!”

Akshan: “Who has gotten away with the what now?”

Lucian: “Ugh, nevermind! Look, we need you to grapple up and see if you can spot a yordle with a giant shadow following her.”

Akshan: “No can do! I must catch the Viper’s trail before it grows cold!”

Lucian: “Your warlord can wait! If that yordle gets away, the Ruined King will get even more powerful!”

Akshan: “I am afraid that is not my concern.”

“How can you say that? Aren’t you a Sentinel?”

“Listen to yourself! Would Shadya approve that decision?”

Akshan: “…Shadya was indeed a great Sentinel, and she would put the fate of the world over her own desires in a heartbeat. However, that is not who I am. If my mentor disapproves, she can scold me about it later!”

Akshan grapples away and vanishes into the rooftops, leaving the three of you alone.

“Fine! Why counted on you anyway!?”

“So you’re running away, just like that!?”

Rengar: “Let him go. He has his hunt, and we have ours.”

Lucian: “Cat’s right. Can’t say I approve, but we need to pick up that yordle’s trail!”

You resume your hunt through the city, relying on Rengar’s keen instincts and honed senses to try and pick up Vex’s trail again. Eventually, you manage to track her to the outskirts of the city, where Vex has summoned another shadowy portal.

Lucian: “Hold it!”

Lucian dashes toward the portal and fires a single burst of light with both guns. The portal dissipates in an instant, leaving Vex all by herself in the desert.

Vex: “Oh. My. Gosh. You guys just don’t give up, do you?”

“Nope!”

“We’ve got you cornered now!”

Vex: “Ugh, do you have any idea how annoying that relentless optimism thing is? Alright, fine. I guess I’m not getting out of here until I deal with you three, so…”

Vex’s shadow grows slightly larger behind her, its eyes taking on a menacing glare.

Vex: “Let’s just get this over with!”

Shurima Part V

Light and shadow clash openly in the desert. The sands shift and the air rings out with the sounds of spells, blades and gunfire. Lucian and Rengar move so swiftly that your eyes struggle to follow them both, but Vex holds them at bay with dark magics.

Lucian: “Damn! Rookie, you wanna pitch in here?”

“Vex, why do are you working with Viego?”

“I don’t get it, aren’t yordles supposed to be more positive?”

Vex: “Ugh, you sound like my parents! ‘You should smile more, Vex. You’d be happier if you wore brighter colors, Vex.’ Shut up! All I want is a world where everything is dark and gloomy! A world where Shadow and I can just be ourselves without anyone judging us!”

Suddenly, Vex hurls a lob of darkness at you, knocking you back into the sand.

Lucian: “Rookie! You alri- OOF!”

Vex’s shadow lashes out at Lucian, sending him flying back as well. Rengar lets out a might roar as he lunges at Vex, only for the shadow to grab him out of the air and chuck him through the air. The hunter lands right next to you, a growl of annoyance leaving his throat.

Rengar: “It seems that yordles are fiercer than I imagined…”

Vex: “You guys really oughta get a clue. I mean, do you really think you can beat Viego? Just because there’s more of you? Even YOU guys can’t be that dense.”

You, Lucian and Rengar struggle to your feet in front of Vex, readying yourselves for another round.

“It’s not about whether or not we CAN beat him. We HAVE to!”

“You may want a darker future, Vex, but we’re fighting for a brighter one!”

“We’re Sentinels of Light! We never give up!”

Lucian: “The kid’s right! We’ll keep pushin’ back the darkness ‘til the bitter end!”

Rengar: “I will mount the Ruined King’s head upon my wall!”

Vex: “Oh, wow, nice speech. Too bad your allies weren’t around to hear it. I wonder how they’re doing right about now…”

Lucian: “What do you mean?”

Vex: “Ugh, more questions. Forget it. You won’t be seeing them again anyway.”

Vex readies another spell, but before she can unleash it, a flurry of a Relic light rains down upon her shadow. Vex recoils as a familiar hooded figures descended from a nearby rock formation, landing gracefully in the sands before you.

Akshan: “Hello, friends. I hope I have not kept you long.”

“Akshan!”

“What are you doing here?”

Akshan response 1: “Yes, it is I! feel free to applause!”

Akshan response 2: “Is it not obvious? I am here to aid you in your time of need!”

Rengar: “What about your prey? Did you lose the trail?”

Akshan: “Well… Not exactly. I thought about what you all said before, about a Sentinel’s duty and my mentor’s wishes. Shadya would want me to help you, even if it means letting the Viper go… For now. Besides, there is little point in bring her back to a world ruled by undeath!”

Lucian: “Glad to see you came around. Now, let’s take this yordle down together and grab that fetter!”

Lucian, Akshan and Rengar resume their battle stances, but Vex merely stands and dusts herself off, unimpressed.

Vex: “You know, for all this talk of ‘comradery’ or whatever, you guys sure don’t have any trouble leaving your friends to fend for themselves.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you know about our friends?”

Vex: “Oh come on, you haven’t figured it out yet?”

Vex holds up the plate, almost mockingly.

Vex: “Come on, use your heads for once. This is the last fetter, meaning that the only ones Viego hasn’t gotten yet are the ones you guys had in your base. Why do you think I came to get this one by myself?”

Realization slowly washes over you, followed by dread. You think back to Thresh’s words in Kumungu.

Thresh: “…You have lost nearly every battle and acquired only a single fetter for your efforts. In time, the king will storm your headquarters and render that small victory moot.”

Lucian: “…Rookie, fire up the Wayfinder. We’re going back.”

“It could be a bluff!”

“But she still has the fetter!”

Lucian response 1: “I’m not risking it! Get us out of here, now!”

Lucian response 2: “I don’t care! We need to get back and make sure Senna’s alright! The others, too!”

On Lucian’s orders, you pull the Wayfinder from your belt and raise it skyward, letting its light wash over you. Vex gives you one last knowing smirk before the desert around you disappears in a flash.

[theoryofthefalls]

TOTF Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: The Author

Author: @moonbeamjean Wordcount: 9.8K Summary: Jessica finds herself face to face with a page in The Journal that paints Bill in an unflattering light. Much like the unflattering light and dust that’s clogging up the newly discovered spare room in the Mystery Shack.

A/N: This chapter is a nice exploration of some of the friendships that Jess has in Gravity Falls and the kind of roads they will take. Bill of course is a downhill spiral of deception and manipulation, but there’s also Dipper, McGucket, Kiara, Grunkle Stan, and yes, even early clues to ‘The Author’ that she’s only going to realise months down the line. Thank you so much for waiting on the update, and I hope you enjoy!

A whole month was gone now. Weeks worth of Summer were vanishing faster and faster, and Jessica Jean felt like she was becoming bigger than her bones. There was still fun in the ordinary life and sun of Gravity Falls, for sure. Dipper and Mabel seemed to have adventures every day of the week. What was the latest one? Oh yeah. Time Travel. That was possible now. Just casually thrown in there, along with a new pig, while Jess was running a Kissing Booth for Stanford Pines’ silly carnival games. But at least her ache of jealousy was dying. The power Bill gave her was being practiced more and more, and her little secret was spilling out beyond just the twins and Kiara.

Soos was the fourth person to find out about the little taste of witchcraft. Jess needed his help for a particular dance video and, well, she kind of had to explain how she could just summon a J-Pop cosplay out of thin air. Wendy was next - sneaking out onto the rooftop at sunset to find the blonde floating above the roof-tiles talking to ‘herself’. And then Mabel made those two new friends, Candy and Grenda, and suddenly every second day was being spent playing fairy dress-ups, re-enacting romance movies, and summoning glitter out of nowhere. But that was it. No more people had to know about this. It was supposed to be a secret, and she shouldn’t have been putting it on as a performance at their command (apparently, by Bill’s morals at least.) Still, she could float in front of more people now, which was relaxing. It was so easy to just slip out of focus and relax mid-air, drinking some Pit Cola in the warm glow of Summer, not having to worry about somebody finding her.

Now that the ‘Mystery Twins’ had their own channel and she was actually spending time with them, the videos kept coming and coming and coming. She could upload now on a nearly bi-weekly schedule. And the views were getting good! The small amount of money being made from the ads and watches was turning from a couple of cents into a couple of dollars. If Jessica didn’t have the power to infinitely spawn bills out of her hand, she probably would have celebrated this a little more. In fact, one of her most popular videos was just her slapping her hands together like at a strip club and spawning an infinite amount of green notes. She would have kept them, too, if Stanford hadn’t been heard around the corner at the sound of free money and she had to make it all disappear in a blink.

The only one who seemed to be both skeptical and awed was Dipper. That was no surprise. Originally, the friendship between them was a quiet, awkward, and scarce thing. He would ask the blonde for the video-camera, once even asking about her film degree and what her classes were like. That was a nice afternoon on the back porch. But now that Jess was out of the super-powered closet, there seemed to be a new kind of awkward interaction that the boy took joy in.

“This is Dipper Pines’ Guide to the Unexplained!” he announced into the silver cam-corder. It was the hottest day of Summer, and the babysitters were talking outside on the front porch. The boy scrambled around the nest of prepared notes and evidence - Journal 3, Mabel’s scrapbook of Summer adventures and romances, small piles of glitter and confetti from previous videos. Finally he found a page in Mabel’s book, a polaroid collection of Jess and Kiara Phoenix at the fair, sharing popcorn and the blonde making vulgar smooch-faces to the girl’s disposable camera. “Anomaly Number 38: Jessica Jean.

“She came along with our old babysitter, KP, to look out for us this Summer, and sometime between arriving here and four weeks ago, managed to obtain amazing, nearly limitless magical abilities! Like some kind of over-powered fairy godmother, she’s used this (as you’ve probably seen) for makeovers, saving us from crazy fake psychics, and cleaning around the house!” Dipper remembered the footage he’d sneakily caught of Jess around the Shack, her feet off the ground and reaching up to the tall cabinets of the kitchen. He’d have to splice it in somehow. Or hell, he’d have to edit this whole video together without the babysitter noticing.

Maybe he could borrow Soos’ computer? That would be a challenge for later. Dipper picked up the camera, and with a determined expression he approached the bedroom window. His voice lowered to a whisper. “I have various theories, none of which add up to the stories that she’s given us. It seems to change every time I ask!” He lifted the cam-corder to the windowpane and focused on the two girls standing below by the yellow car. “First it was mystic runes, then she said it was a fairy, and then she said she was a teen witch all along! And then one time—! One time Jess was just like, ‘Oh powers? What powers? I don’t have any!’, which was so frustrating, and—“

Dipper froze. KP was there, looking up at the window into the attic bedroom he and Mabel shared. In fact, it looked for a minute that she was staring right at him. Dressed in her oversized board shorts and tight but covering rashie, she had her had covered the sun from her eyes and staring at something just above the boy’s head. But the real creepy part was the fact that Jessica Jean, subject of the video, was no longer standing there.

“BOO!!!”

He screamed, nearly dropping the camera. Jess didn’t seem to mind, watching him scramble back and bumping his elbow into the frame of his bed. “Hahahaha!!! Oh, man…!!” Gently, gently, she floated down from the rooftop and right-side up once more, nudging the ajar window open and squeezing inside. Hips like hers had a hard time fitting through small spaces, but it was manageable. The blonde floating in the middle of his room, arms hung low and knees curled up. Limp and relaxed, dressed in shorts and a tied-up t-shirt. Peaking over her sunglasses, the camera flew into her hand gently and her thumb hit the record button ‘off’. “Dipper, seriously, if you’re going to film me at least ask!”

This was about the third time she’d caught him now. Always a scolding. Dipper groaned, hopping up on the mattress and watching the magic carefully. “I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he repeated. The usual apology, recited and well-practiced. “I'll ask to use your camera rather than sneak it out of your bag while you and KP are talking about…” Another groan. “Boys.”

Jess snickered. ‘Boy’ talk was not the right age bracket for talking about her friend’s obvious crush on their boss. It was more like ‘Grand-daddy’ talk. Ew. She tried to stay mad, but the kid had rare gem of sarcasm that made her smile. “No, ask before you film a girl without her knowledge! There’s stuff I don’t want the Internet to see!” She frowned on a more serious note then. “Wait… don’t tell me you film Wendy, do you?”

He blushed. Oh God, how many people knew about this awful crush. “No!! No, I would never!!”

A sigh of relief. “Good, then I don’t have to give you a stern talking-to…” Jessica brightened. “Anyway, while I have you here…” She shrugged off the purple back-pack from her shoulders, and proceeded to look through the levitating sack. KP had packed so much bloody sunscreen that it was like they were watching a group of penguins touring Australia. But there, at the bottom of the bag, was a nice cardboard box with an even nicer present inside. Jess shrugged it out, and chucked the box into his hands. “Got you something!”

“W-Woah!” Dipper caught it in an awkward bundle, holding it close. It had a lot of instructions and careful warnings on the side, but he recognised the image. It was a video-camera. Frighteningly similar to her own, that he had used for this whole third of the Summer together. He felt his jaw drop. “I… Wow, this is so cool!” He immediately looked at her. “Did you make this?”

Jess snorted with laughter. Her powers were good but not that good. “Dipper, if I could, I would have done this weeks ago.” She certainly wouldn’t have been able to make all the little foam nuggets that lived inside the box, anyway. Sometimes buying things came with more certainty than just making it out of thin air. Hoisting her legs into the air, the backpack dropped to the ground as she flew up in a casual sitting position. “I bought it yesterday. Figured you might finally stop borrowing my camera if you and Mabel had your own!”

Sharing it between two was going to be way easier than sharing it with three. Dipper grinned. All his footage of the Hide-Behind (or lack of) and the bizarre tooth (more like horrifying, cryptic, island-head-monster, but okay) was going to have some new company. He reeled with ideas of what to film. But he had to ask. After all, he was aware of their quiet but distant friendship, too. “Why are you doing this?”

A shrug. Like most of the things she answered him with. “Well, I’ve been using you guys for my channel as much as you use me for yours.” They called it ‘cameos’, but the truth was the truth. Views spiked with the Mystery Twins, and she was making cents from it. “I’d feel bad if I didn’t get something as a ‘thank you’, so I splurged into my Kissing Booth money and… Well, thank you.”

Dipper smiled. Small, embarrassed, just-as-bad-with-emotions smile, in the dimple of his cheek. He gripped the box tight. “No problem! Uhh… thanks for letting us borrow it for so long, I guess.”

“Anytime, Pine Tree!”

He headed for the others downstairs, the new video-camera in his hands and that familiar trucker-cap on his head. She trusted his anxiety and paranoia not to bring it with them to the public pool today and save it for mystery-solving. The items he had ready for his little ‘study’ of Jess were all around the floor in a mess that looked vaguely like a map of her life. The scrapbook, covered with glitter and macaroni, seemed to be getting thicker and thicker by the day. With the smallest shred of effort, the book raised into her hands and she turned through the open pages. So many pictures of Mabel and Waddles from the fair, scraps of crystals from their shrinking-torch, but there were drawings, too. Crayon and coloured pencil pieces of various caticatures, portraits of Jess and KP holding hands next to a blurry polaroid of them smooching at the fairgrounds.

Jessica grinned, closed the book, and waved it over to Mabel’s bedside. And she would have left it at that, but there was something else in the room that caught her eye. The Journal - equally messy, but in the way that an exploding lab or abused library was, rather than the 5AM dance-party aesthetic of the twin sister’s work. Dipper always kept it close and safe, and frankly she hadn’t seen enough of it for her liking. He didn’t like anyone over the age of 12 getting their hands on it, just in case. She could understand that. It was his secret, as her powers were hers, and she could respect that.

It still didn’t stop her from reading it though.

Perched on Dipper’s unmade bed, legs crossed, the book rested in her lap comfortably. Her fingertips traced the six-fingered hand of the cover fondly, inspected the paper’s slight shine, before she opened it up. Most of the dust between the pages were blown out from finally being read and loved again, but there was still a thin layer baked right into the spine. The pages were so thin and yellowed that she didn’t even use her fingers to turn it, using magic instead to avoid thumb-prints and tears. It seemed like the twins were making their own notes on top of the decades-old originals. ‘Gnomes: Weakness, lawnmowers’. ‘Ghosts, seen at convenience store’! And she should have been a little mad, considering that this book was practically a historical document and should be treated with respect, but then she thought about all the notes she used to write and doodle on her science books in college. This was no different.

… Man, there was a lot here, though. The Hide-Behind, a Gremoblin, the floating eyeballs from the cave, and pages full of sketches of the landscape and forests of Gravity Falls. So many creatures, so little time. The kids were getting better at finding them in the wild, though. Even if it often led to disastrous consequences. Another page turned slowly, expecting more bug-eyed weirdos and mountain dwelling spooks, when she came across—

Bill.

Jess paused. Bill Cipher was in the Journal. And it wasn’t in a good light.

He was illustrated as a silhouette of black ink, staring from the page with his singular eye. No lashes, no replicant of the shaky drawings and symbols from the cave. It was him. That eerie posture of his low-hanging arms and relaxed, slightly kicked legs was caught perfectly. Various codes and patterns surrounded him, written down in rushes only to be crossed out again. CAESER. ATBASH. Some codes weren’t even letters or recognisable sigils, but some kind of bizarre alien text of lines and dots - part hieroglyphics, part morse-code, all of it impossible to read.

But there were splatters of red in the corners, and it wasn’t ink. And a paragraph of notes and praise, beautifully written in cursive. Bill has proven himself to be one of the friendliest and most trustworthy individuals that I’ve ever encountered in my life. On and on, thankful and adoring, and not unlike Jessica’s own thought process. But it was all crossed out, stubborn and hurt, and there was a bold, terrifying series of four-words amongst the stains.

BILL CAN’T BE TRUSTED!

She swallowed thickly. Kiara would have loved this guy. Beware Bill. The most powerful and dangerous creature I’ve ever encountered.

It was wrong. The Author was wrong. He had to be. Her fingers pressed into the ruby bindings of the book, and she read the following page. An illustration of the small triangle, in more detail and accuracy, hopping into a barely detailed human brain. It was labelled with several, scientifically accurate parts. REFLECTIVES, said one third. DOMESTIC, said another. THE LADIES, marked the last.

… Maybe the guy was just a lonely kook. Jess looked up from the Journal with a deadpan expression. So the Author was a deranged horn-dog. Fine. The book closed, a little harder than necessary, and she tucked it just underneath Dipper’s pillow for safe-keeping. No wonder the boy seemed to enjoy his writing. But so what? There was plenty here that was incorrect. He was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Bill was fine. She had magic powers. And they talked all the time. They were fine, they were great, they were friends. The corn-chip would have told her of any further intentions. She was smarter than this deranged lunatic and his coded notes. Jess asked questions. Jess read details. Or, alternatively, she asked questions and he would shut her down and talk about a vague, larger plan, and she didn’t have the guts to ask him what that plan was so she just kept her mouth zipped and enjoy what she had. Enjoy the feeling of life in her veins and magic in her bones and becoming something larger, grander, better than just a failed little girl.

She gripped the sheets, and didn’t move until she was called back downstairs by KP. Jessica played along the whole week by the poolside, flirtatious and funny and blonde and sweet, laughing everything off. She continued to tease Kiara about her obvious feelings for Stanford Pines, as old as he was, and waved at Mabel and her sweet, hispanic (??) mermaid (?!?!?) boyfriend. She had nothing to worry about. Nothing.

Is he watching me? asked the book under Dipper’s pillow.

- - - - -

“So who else have you made deals with?” Jean asked some time ago, turning over in the air to see him.

Bill was sitting back, hands behind him as one would put them behind their head. He watched the sky roll lazily by. “OH, YOU KNOW. DA VINCI, THE KENNEDY’S, A COUPLE OF RUBES,” he listed casually. “I HAD FUN FILMING THE MOON-LANDING WITH NASA. THAT WAS PRETTY GREAT.”

Jess wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask about that yet. Whole new bag of worms to deal with. But she did ask this: “Have you ever given anybody your powers before?”

Bill paused. Interesting of her to ask. “NO,” he answered eventually. “HAVEN’T NEEDED TO! AND WHEN I FIGURED OUT I NEEDED TO, THERE WEREN’T PEOPLE IN TOWN WHO WERE WORTH SHARING THEM WITH!”

It had flattered her at the time. She used to spend a whole day of mischief with her favourite triangle. The minute she was out of earshot, sometimes sooner, Bill would appear in a crack of light by her side. The space around him shifting between this world and the Mindscape, as vibrant a yellow as ever. They’d exchange a knowing grin, and Jess would pick up her feet and turn her walk into a float. Both to show off her control over his magic, and because flying was the best thing in the world.

Jessica was getting good at learning his magic. Understanding where it came from. Bill didn’t delve too much into how he learned them - nobody wants to give away their backstory all at once and take away the fun. But she got it. Learn an equation, think of a grander universal concept, and either conjure it or remove it from existence entirely. All he’d given her that afternoon nap by the cave was just a spark for her body and brain to withstand it. Something to make her physically grander than the average twenty-five year-old cheerleader. She was a science-interested mind with an artist’s imagination. It was a good combo that worked in his favour, and appealing to boot. He needed that for the long-term plans. And for the short-term, she was damn fine fun.

They still spend nights together. It was harder to see her during the day, and she needed him less and less to talk through her abilities. Between fun-fairs, pig adoption, swimming pools, and sunsets on the porch chopping firewood, Bill Cipher wasn’t bothering to visit as often as he used to. They had dreams and the Mindscape to talk, to unwind, to catch up and explore the valleys and peaks of her imagination’s hillsides. And he didn’t want to sit in on those long hours of playing make-up and detective and helping the kids making videos for their stupid little channels. So he stuck right out of that, folded his arms, and waited for his friend to fall asleep and finally give him some time.

It was irritating. He was irritated, and she was aware of that, and now there were blood-splattered pages in a very old book with his name written between warning signs.

Technically speaking, spending time with the kids and making dumb videos was still practicing her powers. Bill couldn’t get too mad at Jean for spending more and more time with them. Right? Right. Even so, the girl had to make it up to him. So she picked a night and used the building blocks of her mind and imagination to create something just for them. No twins, no Kiara, nothing. Just her and Bill. She owed him that, at least.

Jessica was about half an hour into her sleep when he appeared. Deep blue night skies, slender purple and indigo trees. The usual level of whimsy, and those same white silhouettes of faceless starlight walking past them. But those eager silhouettes seemed to be vanished, or gather somewhere else. Bill Cipher was a contrast of yellow - not a soft gold but rather the ink in your printer that always seemed to vanish at inconvenient times - and appeared in a burst of white light. On the cliffside, outside the memory of ‘his’ cave, looking over towards the lake. A haze of pink and peach lights, made from only the kind of old-fashioned bulbs around movie-star frames and… carnivals.

He squinted, flying down closer to the sight. The closer he flew, the louder it became. Happy giggles, old music from the 50’s, and rickety wooden structures. Part of it resembled what Stan Pines created in his backyard in the name of self-promotion, the other parts looked like the seaside carnivals over in San Francisco or Coney Island. There was a large ferris wheel that nearly eclipsed the milky moon, with rose-coloured seats and plush cushions. There were games to play that won ugly, llama-looking plush toys with soft pink cheeks and bowties. The Kissing Booth was not occupied by Crescent, but rather a silhouette of white who had curves in the right places and a vaguely androgynous face. He ignored it. Nothing was rigged, everyone was a winner, and there was a distinct perfume in the air of fairy-floss and caramel. It was charming in a very mortal, young-love kind of way.

The girl had worked incredibly hard on it. Even down to the harlequin-styled clown, juggling on a small stage and dropping all his rainbow-coloured balls into his face. Bill cackled with nasal laughter amongst the imagined figures, and turned at the sound of ukulele. Jessica was performing as a busker, something she did to pass time and make money in college, and was dressed in a summer frock of white lace that sat like an attractive potato sack. It was pretty, as were the flowers in her hair. She was playing an old song that Cipher recalled her parents used to play on the kitchen radio, and when his eye found her she immediately stopped. Put the instrument down, float above the crowd, just make him the center of her world again.

She tucked a hair behind her ear, relaxing her legs and standing on the ground once more. “Sooo… you found the place!”

Bill chuckled. “HARD TO MISS IT,” he said/exclaimed. He always spoke so loudly. One of his hands reached for his top-hat, and he lifted it in respect. “NOT BAD, CRESCENT. NOT BAD AT ALL. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE!”

Jess wandered along, the bystanders of white parting from their way. It was hard to tell how much control she had over them sometimes, but the girl didn’t mind a crowded room. It was exciting. Especially in the dusk-coloured party lights and atmosphere of this little fairytale. She wanted to make him happy, show off how much she could do, and it was certainly fun to expand things further and further. “Well, y’know, I feel bad that I spent so much time with the kids lately… Running around with them is fun and all, but I would have liked to spend some of the day with my other friend.”

He heard the good intentions in her voice. She really meant it. The triangle chuckled, flattered and floating, and they made their way to the ferris wheel. She clicked her fingers and a pair of champagne glasses appeared just within their reach, taking gentle sips in unison as the sparkling attendant set them inside the comfortable, cozy ride. Bill’s eye shut, and he drank through the lids as one would a mouth, only to open them again as that frightening slit pupil. It made Jess giggle.

“SO WHAT’S THE OCCASION?” he asked, sitting down with a little wriggle of comedic effect. Jess ignored him, leaning back into the cozy pink pillows. She could make her ferris wheel as pretty and unsafe as she’d like. But Bill wasn’t giving up. “CHAMPAGNE? WEARING SOMETHING OTHER THAN THOSE FILTHY PYJAMAS? AN ENTIRE CARNIVAL BY THE SEA? YOU’RE INDULGING ME HERE, KID!”

Jessica nibbled her lip when she spoke. Her knees crossed over, she watched the bubbles in the gold drink. “Well… I guess I wanted to say thanks, too. I mean, you’ve taught me so much. I wanted to show you I—“

“CRESCENT.”

His voice was sharp. Bill’s eye was on her, and her only. “I KNOW WHAT YOU READ.”

The wheel began to turn, and they rotated up, gently, into the deep blue sky of night. Despite the light pollution of the sideshow, the stars remained ever-bright. Logic was second-thought in the Mindscape. The world could be as beautiful or as ugly as Jessica’s dreams and emotions dictated. And right now, it was beautiful. For him. And she was making herself dainty and small and sweet. She was nervous. And she was overcompensating with big gifts, gestures of affection, exploring her powers as much as possible to push back the fact that, finally, she had found something that shook her faith in the inter-dimensional being.

The blonde watched the view of deep blue sea and endless horizon. The pink and yellow lights of the fair glowed beneath their feet. “… KP’s always said I should be careful around you,” she began. “But she says that about all my friends and relationships.” Bless that sweet, honest girl. A small smile tugged briefly. “… We both know I have shit in my life that I don’t want to deal with. And I figured… that you were the same. You never asked me about my history, so I never pried too deep into yours. But…”

Jessica swallowed. “You knew the Author. And something happened between you guys that turned a good friendship bad.” Those blue eyes kept dancing, taking nervous glances at the triangle as she considered her words. “And the cave paintings, and the cipher wheel, and… You’ve told me so much about the world, Bill, and I am amazed. But I know nothing about you…! I barely know what you gave me these powers for in the first place!!”

“YOU KNOW WHY!” he said, a laugh to his voice. He set the champagne glass on an imaginary table, and it floated perfectly in the air beside him. “YOU’RE A BRIGHT KID, WITH A LOT OF IMAGINATION, AND IT—“

“Bill, no, I…” She bit her lip. The interruption made her blink. Jean gave a sigh, gentle but clearly pent-up, like the steam from a kettle. “Give me something… real. You gave me these for a reason. And you still haven’t told me what that reason is. I’m too polite to ask what your intentions are, but if you don’t want me using them for fun with my friends, and you don’t want me performing onstage, then you have to tell me what this whole thing is about.”

She didn’t even sound angry anymore. Just a bit stressed, a bit desperate, and finally snapping a little. Jess was a straight-shooter when she was serious. It was rare, but she could be. He was wondering whenabouts she’d finally pop the question. And her nerves were turning from quiet and unspoken to loud, and straight-forward, and determined. Enough games. Enough mindless flattery. She was asking for some truth. Bill sighed in a defeated manner. He couldn’t avoid this topic. “SO YOU WANNA HEAR IT? THE TRAGIC TALE OF BILL THE TRIANGLE GUY?”

Jessica Jean nodded. She leaned back in the seat as the ferris-wheel took them higher. A vision of white among the blue and pink of her little universe. His stiff three sides relaxed a little, almost wilting or melting, and Cipher’s eyelid grew heavy. “I’M FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION. NOT THE MINDSCAPE, NOT YOURS, ANOTHER PLACE. IT WAS A BORING LITTLE BLACK AND WHITE SPACE WITH SIMPLE-MINDED PEOPLE. OTHER SHAPES. OTHER TRIANGLES. BUT I KNEW I WAS ALWAYS ONE OF A KIND! SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE SQUARE! GOOD OL’ BILL CIPHER! A CUT ABOVE THE REST!

“I KNEW I WAS TOO GOOD FOR THE WORLD. I HAD TO FIND A WAY OUT. I STARTED LOOKING UP THINGS I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO, AND IT MADE ME A SMARTER EQUILATERAL. SOON, I WAS ABLE TO LEAVE MY WORLD ENTIRELY. I CAME TO YOUR THIRD DIMENSION AND TRIED TO SHOW THE PEOPLE WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF, BUT THEY DIDN’T LIKE ME AT ALL! ALL THEY WANTED TO DO WAS BANISH ME.“

“I saw,” she said. Jess curled up her knees, moving closer to his side. “The murals on cave… The red lightning?”

“THAT’S THE ONE,” said Bill. He couldn’t look at her. How could he? Why should he? He was so lowly and she was so sweet. He sighed. The half-humoured tone to his story began to fade. Even when his voice was so loud, so nasal, Cipher just sounded so sad. He practically lost his glow. “I’VE BEEN TRAPPED FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. I WATCHED SO MUCH OF THE WORLD COME AND GO, AND I WANTED TO BE PART OF IT SO BADLY! I MANAGED TO HELP A FEW PEOPLE CHANGE HISTORY. MAKE AN IMPACT. GIVE MY LIFE A LITTLE MEANING. BUT IT’S NEVER BEEN ENOUGH. I’VE… I’VE NEVER BEEN ENOUGH.”

Jessica swallowed. She knew that feeling. Not to his cosmic extent. But she knew it. The triangle continued to explain himself and his slit pupil met her blue eyes. “THE AUTHOR OF THE JOURNALS FOUND ME, AND DEMANDED I TELL HIM ALL THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE. I SHARED WHAT I COULD, BUT IT DROVE HIM MAD WITH POWER. THE POOR GUY LOST HIS SANITY COMPLETELY.” He looked at her with what was the equivalent of a hopeful smile. An air of warmth resonated between them in the starry sky. “BUT YOU? … YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON I’VE EVER GIVEN MY POWERS TO. YOU’RE A GOOD EGG. A SMART KID. SMART ENOUGH TO LEARN HOW IT WORKS, BUT FUN ENOUGH TO TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL! YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT I NEED.”

She was quiet the whole while, taking in his story and hanging onto every word. But Jess had to ask, directly, “And what do you need? What do you need me to be?”

Cipher looked at her with his big, adoring eye. It was shiny against the starlight. He was yellow against the purple and blue of her mind.  It crinkled in the corners, in his version of a mouthless smile. “I NEED YOU TO BE MY ACE IN THE HOLE IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. I’VE GOT A PLAN TO COME OUT THERE, IN YOUR WORLD. IT’S READY FOR ME. BUT IF SOMETHING GOES HAYWIRE, YOU’RE MY BACK-UP. I NEED YOU TO KEEP PRACTICING WHAT I TEACH YA, AND I NEED YOU AT BECK AND CALL WHEN THOSE BIG PLANS PAY OFF.” He sounded a little nervous. A glance up and down at her. “CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME, CRESCENT?”

By contract, she couldn’t say no. But he pretended that she could. And Jess believed it. She believed it all, as he expected her to do. She smiled, warm and tender, and edged a little closer to him. And before Bill knew it, she did something pretty unexpected. She hugged him. Arms wrapped around his pointy frame. Altogether, he was about as tall as her torso - a perfect size to get wrapped up in as she lay back in their booth.

“I can do that,” she answered quietly. “… you weird asshole.”

She heard a chuckle. It was limp, compared to his louder natural laugh. Heck, Cipher was kind of surprised that she was holding him in the first place. Aside from sex with near strangers and grabbing KP whenever possible, Jessica Jean didn’t have a track record of physical attention. It made her squeamish. If she hugged him, it meant she really liked him.

Good.

“WHAT WAS THAT CUTE LITTLE NUMBER YOU WERE SINGING EARLIER?” he asked, finishing the champagne. He still flashed gold light with each syllable he spoke.

Jess shrugged. “It’s something my Mom sang to me before the divorce.”

And she’d hold her like this, too. The same way she held Bill now. He felt her clutch him a little tighter, a little closer, just subconsciously. He reclined in her arms as best as he could. “I’VE HEARD IT SOMEWHERE BEFORE. WANNA SING IT AGAIN FOR ME?”

Crescent smiled. “Sure!”

They stared into the blue, quiet and still, and talked about the endlessness yet contained beauty of the universe. Eager questions about the past and future, venting about her previous relationships and friends, and drinking champagne. The wheel stopped with them right at the top, looking over the world they shared together. Her eyelids grew heavy even within the dream, relaxed into a complete state of bliss. Her fingertips traced the flat, two-dimensional edge of his body, and he didn’t protest to it.

J.F. Kennedy didn’t cuddle. Neither did Lovecraft. Bill didn’t really have many female humans as contracts or friends. Still getting used to some aspects of it. And hugging seemed to be one of them. It was sweet. Not his preferred thing, but it was new. And new things were always intriguing. Jessica Jean, lying back amongst pillows and pointing out constellations in her mind’s sky, held him in her arms. It was difficult to, given he was a being of pure energy and weightlessness, but she tried. And the effort was enough.

The song ended slowly, gently. “You know what?” she said, looking out onto the wide blue ocean. It went for miles. The edge of her mind. They looked at the limitless blue and she squeezed him tighter. It was hard to, but the effort was enough. “I can’t wait for you to come out of this place… I’ll actually be able to hug you for real!”

Bill groaned dramatically. “YEAH, YEAH, I CAN HARDLY WAIT.” And the sarcasm made her laugh enough to spill some champagne.

- - - - -

KP and Jessica were usually the ones in charge of grocery runs. Stanford’s parenting skills were getting better, but it seemed like his cooking always relied on beans and war rations. Not that they were culinary experts or anything, but college life and learning to live on your own meant you picked up a couple things like easy-bake pasta recipes, steaks, eggs, anything that required minimal ingredients and as many healthy things as they could fit. Plus, being a young(er) adult meant they could respect the kids’ needs for brightly coloured cereal, sugar, and fruit juice spelt with numbers for letters.

“Honestly, this one is just an exclamation mark!” said KP, pulling it off the shelf. The bottle was about as big as Manly Dan’s arm, and coloured like a neon pink sign at a video arcade. She grinned. “Is Mabel gonna make her juice again?”

Jess nodded. “Yup. Prepare your liver.”

The car ride back from the store was music, good times, big smiles, and a backseat full of groceries. Loud rock music from the 50’s mixed with trap from last week. It was an eclectic mess of music tastes, which is what the blonde seemed to enjoy most.  Every speed-bump made the beetle shake, but the stops and sights on the way to Gopher Road were becoming more and more familiar. Kiara smiled out the window, even at the sight of the massive white and blue tent of the Gleeful family. This strange little town felt more like home every day. Sunshine on her skin when she leaned on the window. Her shirt’s long black sleeves felt toasty warm in the light.

She smiled at the driver. “Could you live here?”

It had certainly come out of nowhere. As did the smile from Tad Strange, crossing past them at the intersection and holding hands with his boyfriend. Jess waved back, awkward but flattered smirk on her face, and turned to her not-girlfriend. “Why’d you ask?”

“I dunno…!” replied KP. In fact, it had surprised herself a little. But just being lost in thought in the golden taste of sunlight had sent her off to somewhere dream-like and strange. She imagined the clouds parting and the shining light against her right cheek like a little kiss. “Lately I’ve just been thinking, y’know… settling down, finding somewhere nice and quiet to work on my comics…” She turned to Jessica with a nervous but hopeful expression. “Once the Summer’s up and the kids are on the bus to California, I might even look into real estate here!”

“Aww…!” Jess was quiet but proud. “That’s great!” Planning the future was never her forte. She survived as much as she could in the present. Anything like a career or a marriage was far, far away from her priorities. “What are you thinking, an apartment…? Or a cute little cottage house somewhere like Wendy’s place or the Shack…?

KP smiled. “Yeah, the Shack is perfect!”

“Yeah… Rustic, charming, full of weird taxidermy…!” “Ha-ha, yeah! Perfect woodland get-away—“

“Hotter older gentleman waiting for you every night…” purred Jess.

Kiara Lee Phoenix frowned at the blonde. This was not a road she wished to bring up. Again. “Not a day goes by where y’don’t remind me of this stupid crush, do you?”

“IT’S ADORABLE!” squealed Jess behind the wheel. Also, talking about the feelings between Stanford Pines and her best friend was a nice distraction from thinking about the inevitable death of her childhood and having to become an independent person. Taking a left turn and finding the familiar path for Gopher Road, she tried to talk while paying full attention. It was difficult. “Honestly, sweetheart, it had been years since I last saw you get a crush this bad!!”

The brunette made a loud, ugly groan of embarrassing noise and hardship. Easy for her friend to say, but it was hard to carry the feeling. “Please stop!! It’s… it’s weird. He’s so much older but he’s so handsome and he really cares about the kids!!” Her experience with boys was awful. With men? Even worse. KP didn’t know how to handle the emotional need in her body. She itched for the comforting headphones around her neck. She sighed, defeated, and hugged herself instead. “Look, what do you reckon?”

“I’ve told you what I reckon!” laughed Jess. “It’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

“Be serious,” said KP, in a rather miserable tone. “Just tell me, is this weird or not? I’m trying to shut off my feelings for the guy but… I can’t. And I know he’s kinda rough, and not the most aware, but he really does the best he can, and…” She was so tired from feeling it. Why did they have to talk about it? Why did she have to feel it?! Kiara looked to Jess for guidance. “Just give it to me straight.”

“… KP, you know I’m bi, I can’t give things straight—“

“Shut your beautiful mouth and be serious, darn it!”

It started off with giggles, but Jess would get to the point in a minute. She made the proper turn and headed up the long, dirt lane of Gopher Road. With a little bit of magic she turned down the radio as a sign of ‘serious conversation ahead’. “Okay, okay…” She racked her brain for good points. Good points about the law-avoiding ex-boxer who somehow managed to make his own business in dealing lies to suckers. “… He’s funny. And yeah, he’s getting better around the kids… Personally, I like my guys a little fitter, and a little nerdier, but y’know, that’s just me!

“The age… isn’t that much of an issue these days. Big gaps are gross when you’re like, in high school and some creepy 30-year-old man asks you about your cup size when you’re sixteen. That’s fucked up. But as you start getting older and a little wiser, people start to blur across generations…! Love is just a concept of hormones and biological urges, anyway, so who cares about how old, or fat, or queer, or how different each of the people involved are as long as they’re consenting and honest to each other!” Jessica’s serious talks always seemed to delve into social or scientific issues. She tried to make it more personal and not just a vent. “You always talk about finding a guy who wants a family, who’s gonna treat you like a real classy lady, and boys our age usually don’t give a shit about that…”

KP nodded with a bitter sigh. Too true. It was why Jess had so much care-free luck in sex and why she’d had so little. The blonde was fleeting and lived on the physical drive that was easier to come by - Kiara wanted something more… mature. They both watched the trees go by as she drove onward. “So… It’s fine that I have the hots for a sixty-three year-old man?”

Jessica snorted. “Sweetie, if you don’t judge me for being a sexually active queer girl, I will not judge you for having a crush on a nice older gentleman who, according to you, is trying really hard to be a good guy.”

She smiled, cheeks flushed with a tint of pink. And it wasn’t the sunshine on her skin. Kiara adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. “Thanks, sweetheart…” she mumbled, quiet and thinking things over. They drove in the silence for a little while, looking at the road ahead and the slowly-appearing rooftop of their favourite tourist trap. Finally, she came to a lightbulb moment. “Hey, I just realised! You haven't got any action this whole trip!”

“I know, right?!” “How are you handling being single and constantly horny in a town full of nice family folk?” Jessica’s face lit up in a big, movie-star grin. “It’s killing me inside like you wouldn’t believe!”

She was about to rant about her last sexual encounter being a disappointing boy at a nightclub a year and a half ago, but a cop car was speeding right past them and heading towards the Mystery Shack. Blubs and Durland were on the case. The case of something. The two girls exchanged a look of concern, silently prayed the Stan wasn’t in trouble with the law again, and hit the gas a little harder. Something was wrong.

The ‘wrong’ was more mumbo-jumbo weirdness in Mabel and Dipper’s lives. They had left that morning with the twins fighting over having to share a room (which disheartened KP, but honestly it was bound to happen at some point) and now seemed to escalate to secret rooms (which excited Jess, but honestly it was bound to happen at some point.) Somehow the kids had gotten mixed up with a turquoise-coloured, incredibly fuzzy throw-rug with bizarre scientific abilities. The experiment gone wrong had just been lying dormant in the dusty ruins hidden in the Shack, and now was leading to absolute chaos. The house had about five people too many and a screaming, terrified pig. Candy, Grenda, the two-person squad, and—

McGucket. Jess cringed. Not that weirdo. This madness was coming to a gentle end, bit by bit, and whatever was a mess seemed to be sorting itself out. The carpet of mind-switching atomic power was putting everybody back into their own bodies. The girls had caught the tail of it, with Dipper and Mabel trying to organise everybody back into their own bodies. Apparently these lunatics had been jumping and out of each other all day via electric shocks. Sorting one at a time was a lot harder than it sounds, especially when Deputy Derland was crying and shaking in the body of a small Vietnamese girl.

“Pffftt,” muttered Candy’s sweet voice inside of pig’s body. “It’s not that bad.”

But eventually, it was done. Required a lot of organisation and KP demanding everybody split into two groups, those comfy in their own skin and those trapped in somebody else’s, and trying to convince Jess not to be an asshole and shock her ‘for fun’. Everybody became adjusted, the carpet was avoided as much as possible, and even Soos managed to stay out of Waddles. More or less.

The boy looked himself over, trying to get the taste of wooden door-chips out of his mouth. “Oh, no, I changed back!” he assured the Pines twins. He gave a glance down at his belly and the dirt on his hands. “At least I think I did.”

“I’ll still eat ya…!” muttered a starved, shivering hillbilly behind him.

The knife and fork in McGucket’s hands were terrifying. As was the threat of cannibalism. Jessica squirmed. ‘Old Man’ McGucket always made her squeemish. Like some awful mess between a tragic story of homelessness and a genuinely off-putting, unappealing ease in his awkward, clumsy behaviour. That, and he built giant robots to take out his enemies. Shady. Dipper and Mabel pushed him out as far as they could, trying to get rid of him as respectfully as possible, but it was the blonde who ended up taking him by the shoulders with gingerly fingers and leading him through the house. Of course. Just her luck.

The blue plaid wallpaper and old, rickety floors were becoming far too familiar at this point. Honestly, they spent more time in the Mystery Shack that at the hostel. She took a glance down at the old man. Long, dirty white beard. Big pickle nose, blushed and pimpled. Poor guy smelt like rotten beans. With the rest of the confused victims of ‘carpet diem’ following behind them, she tried to make polite conversation. “Don’t you have, like, a son you could bother or something?”

She caught a glimpse of that young man at the lake, anyway, but he seemed to be embarrassed of the inventor.  “Maybe!” he laughed back. “Don’t rightly know, these days!!” What a kook. Jessica found herself a little lost, slowing down bit by bit as she tried to find her way in the labyrinth of rooms. Sometimes the house was more of a maze than a home. But McGucket pointed at a particular hallway. “Door’s that way, little lady!”

Jess frowned. A particularly correct hallway. “I know, I know…”

McGucket wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Has that pig always lived here?!”

“Mabel got him at a fun-fair, not that it’s any of your business.”

“You can win pigs at the fun-fair?!”

“Yeah, I…” Jess glanced at the living-room as they walked by. McGucket seemed to have his eyes set on the square-jawed, overweight uncle sitting in front of the TV. She snickered. “Were you talking about Grunkle Stan?”

“That’s a nice name for a pig!!”

Okay, she had to laugh at that. The hard push against his slack shoulders eased up just a bit. She was expecting her boss to yell at the two of them for poking fun, but he seemed pretty focused on cleaning a pair of glasses. Or maybe the episode of Baby Fights was particularly interesting. Whatever. She opened up the front door and shooed everybody out, a gentle hand waving away the two girls and the charming officers. Blubs began to give Grenda a proper talking to about ‘excessive giggling’. The sky was peach with the setting sun. Pink seemed to be the colour of Jessica’s summer nights these days. It was a nice view.

She looked down to her left. McGucket was watching the sky, too. Even through his cross-eyed pupils and hundred-yard stare. She would have thought it was sweet if not for the overwhelming stench of raccoons, rusty tin, and unwashed clothing.

Oh, to hell with it. The guy hadn’t eaten and was clearly homeless. Apparently McGucket slept in the Gravity Falls junkyard - he couldn’t help that he was as unstable as a rowboat in a storm, and was probably too crazy to remember this, anyway. Jess pulled a crisp fifty-dollar note from the inside of her bare palm, and held it out to the old man. He blinked at it.

She winced. “Please just take it.”

“What for?” he asked. His voice was still as twangy as banjo string.

She grimaced. “You haven’t eaten in a week and you smell like crap and I don’t want you in this house again, okay? Just take the money.”

It all came out a lot quicker and awkward than she’d anticipated. But the old guy didn’t seem to mind. Then again McGucket also had a bandaid on his beard and a cast for a wrist injury that had probably healed five years ago. He played with the note in his hands, stretching and twisting it about. He stood there, a little stunned, and Jess closed the door on him. Weirdo. The four kids were talking outside, trying to avoid the questions of the officers, and the house was finally quiet. Thank God. All that pig-screaming and running around in literal circles was getting to her. So much for a calm day getting groceries.

Jessica risked having a float, lifting up her feet and pocketing her hands in her overalls. Down the quiet hallways of old wood, save for the sound of crying children muffled in the lounge-room down the hallway. The static sound of the channels being flicked through one by one gave the house some white noise to it. It was nice. Cozy. Along with the gentle sounds of soft voices, understanding and anxious tones, that she only recognised as that of her best friend. She ducked in her head to find Kiara and Stanford there, changing channels. The eye-wear in his hand was practically squeaky clean, but the guy wouldn’t stop polishing it. KP had the remote and seemed to be finding something on the telly.

They were shaped kind of different from the ones he usually wore. She nodded towards them, and got to her feet pronto before their boss could recognise them. “Cool glasses.” He pocketed them in the striped boxer shorts, and grumbled something incoherent. She tried more conversation. “… They new?”

“Old,” answered the man gruffly. He reclined back in his vomit-coloured chair. This house had furniture from so many decades it was getting ridiculous. But nothing beat the old chair and the stone walls of the living room. He ignored her for a moment, and looked up at the better babysitter. “You gonna join in on this rerun or leave the mystery to me?”

KP laughed a little too loudly. “U-Uh… yeah! Sure!” And while there was room on the massive arms of the chair, she picked the soft and worn-out lounge to lie back on. A safe distance from Stanford and hopefully enough for him to forget the blush that was spreading to her face. Jess smiled internally. Girl had it bad.

Stan noticed the staring. He glanced at Jess up and down, and hiked a thumb towards the stairwell. He wasn’t going to have her standing around being a millennial nightmare when she could’ve been put to some good work. Especially when the ‘suck up’ contest was at an end and he could no longer abuse the fine line between ‘child labour’ and ‘time with the kids’. “Goldilocks, go clean up the new room for Dipper tonight, will ya?”

Her face caved. “Why me?”

“Because the kids have worked all day, Soos is being weird, and KP and I are watching TV. Get to it.”

The past week, she’d spent plenty of time being nice and doing favours for other people. Buying a video camera for the kids, making a spectacular carnival for herself and Bill to play in, and creating money from thin air to feed a weird old guy who married something that he found in a dumpster. Maybe the good-deeds energy from it was still in effect, or maybe the fact that KP and Stanford could have some time alone together was reason enough to do it. Jessica pretended to whine and get under Stan’s skin. Arms folded, leaning over to try and see the blurred screen, big pomp and fuss with her chest stuck out defensively. Play up and act like the clown. But when she left, Jess gave the slightest wink to KP. Those two could have some fun, even if was at an arm’s distance apart.

Kiara glanced nervously between the television screen and Stanford Pines. It was an ad-break, and she was trying to find something to talk about other than the massive, quiet, ink-blot of tension and romantic interest. “So…” she tried. “Th-the room’s going to Dipper then?”

Stan gave a shrug. “Yeah, let the nerd have it! It suits him.” He cleared his throat a little, reclining back on the couch and putting his hands behind his head. “I was gonna give it to you two girls, but I figured life at the hostel seemed pretty fun. Didn’t wanna, uh… cramp your style or anything.”

KP scoffed. “Yeah, it’s fun if you enjoy unwashed dishes, termites, and listening to people have loud sex at three in the morning…!”

“Ha!” The old man chuckled and turned to the young woman at his side. The re-run of Ducktective seemed to be less important. “Yeah you’re right. A pretty thing like you must be smothered with attention from all the guys there.”

Kiara could have swallowed her tongue as the red blush claimed her face.

The room was found by Soos that very morning. He’d decided, on his own love for the place and because Mr Mystery told him to, to clean up the boxes in the storage area. The towers of cardboard were greying, some soggy, all of them covered in specks of dust and mildew. They were sealed clumsily by Stanford with duct-tape and remained unopened. The guy had done as best as he could to organise them, but being unable to see what was inside it was more about vacuuming and dusting the piles already there. But he’d moved around enough to reveal a door, traditionally carved from redwood and resembling faintly of a Swedish get-away. Painted with green, yellow and blue floral accents amongst the deep rouge tones. This whole house was designed with bits and bobs from different styles, but this room was by far the strangest. When they’d asked Stan what the hell he’d locked it away for, apparently it was just easier to shut off the previous owner’s junk entirely than try to sort through and figure out what to sell. Lazybones.

It was caked in dust, save for where the kids had been running around. The first thing Jess did was roll up that chaotic piece of carpeting, not even touching the weird old thing but rather curling it up with her mind. The heavy piece of blue and gold shag helped prop the door open and let the room breathe a little more. The tag of Experiment 78 stuck out in a faded silver label. The square underneath was that perfect shape of dust-free space, and the greyed wooden floor was nearly white from being beneath the rug all these years. It had a stronger scotch and masculine smell, like Stan’s office, but it was fainter with the sands of time and smelt less of sweaty laundry. The guy really hadn’t touched it for a while.

Flying made things easier. As did summoning a dusting brush and a vacuum cleaner when she needed one. That way she could get rid of all the creepy cobwebs up in the hard-to-reach corners. Way easier to do now than when Jess was just a five-foot rocket without any fuel. She took in the room’s ambience while she was up there - this 70’s-designed hide-away of red asymmetrical furniture, low knee-high cabinets, and a small, stained-glass window with pink and orange squares. It filled the room with roses, the blue throw-pillows and yellow lamps being little spots of contrast to the colour. It was sweet. Very nicely designed. The rest of the Shack seemed to be mismatched with a memory of the original log-cabin, retro vibe. Stanford had renovated the place time and time again to make his home into a Mystery Shack. The Mystery Shack. But this place? It was untouched.

She pulled down the blue sheet that was hung open over a fold-away mirror. Somebody didn’t want to be seen, but it sure as hell wasn’t Jess. With a little turn and pose, twirling the duster between her fingers and checking out her own curves, she spotted little glass pyramids lined up on a shelf behind her. After a brief clean-up came a chance to play, and she lifted them up in the pink light of the room, reflecting rainbows across the walls and mirrors. A laugh escaped into the quiet. This room seemed to have plenty of knick-knacks - the calendar on the wall was stuck on a picture of a very fierce-looking owl (marked with the fourth of July, 1982), a trophy for a valedictorian, and a framed portrait of a short-haired, bushy-browed young lady who looked a lot like Mary Shelly.

Jess squinted. “… Fuck, I think that is Mary Shelly.”

Books, lamps, and retro clock on top of a blocked-up fireplace. She broke her foot roughly through the boards and vacuumed old ash. A lot of notes had been burned there. And there were stacks and stacks of papers all around. The shelves were full of old-school scoff novels and first editions. Some were guilty pleasure pulp types, and others hardback copies of famous theories and nonfiction collections. This room was… kind of awesome. Jessica was more of a 1960’s, psychedelic, free-love and flower-crowns soul to her trashy 90’s aesthetic, but she really did like the touch of modern 70’s here and there. No wonder Dipper and Mabel fought for it. If she had her say, she’d have been knocking them out for the key, too.

She adjusted the round, yellow lampshade until her feminine standards of ‘tidy’ were met. It was a shame this place was about to smell like unwashed jocks, and not the charming shelf of whiskies and scotch. It was a real shame of Stan to keep this place hidden for so long. But it was understandable. After all, this place was nothing like him. Nothing like Stanford Pines at all.

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

[purplesurveys]

729

What was the last kind thing that someone did for you? Over dinner I complained under my breath that it was hot and uncomfortable, but my dad picked up on it and readjusted the electric fan so that it would be little more pointed at my direction. Do you know anyone whose birthday was yesterday? John Cena, if he counts lol.  Tell me about the strangest dream you've had recently (if you can remember) Most of them have been sooo weird recently. The last vivid one I can remember involved Ed and Rosemarie from the TLC show 90 Day Fiance because I was watching their episode before I took that nap hahaha. I dreamt they got married and some people from my high school were invited ksksksks so weird. When was the last time you laughed at yourself? Why? There was an unfamiliar (and kinda large) bird that flew over me and my mom here at the rooftop and I completely panicked and ran for the stairs. We had a good laugh about it afterwards because we sounded so stupid screaming.  Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter 'A'. Does it have to be in English? I really like alimango, which is just crab in English. I’ve tried racking my brain for English words but the closest thing to being a ‘favorite’ of mine is avocado, but I only like it when it’s incorporated in other dishes, like cheesecake.

Who was the last person you text messaged? Have you ever seen him/her cry? Angela’s mom - I thanked her when she sent me a birthday greeting. I’ve never seen her cry but I’d be heartbroken if I did; she’s one of the kindest people I know. When was the last time you updated your Facebook status? I only make statuses when I give a birthday shoutout to a loved one, so the last time I did my own post was for my dad back in January. But as for stuff I post in general, I shared a news article literally a minute ago. How many likes/comments did it get? Hasn’t gotten any yet. Do you know anyone named Angela? My best friend is named this. I also used to have a friend we called Angel, but ever since she migrated to Toronto she apparently started going by Angela so her too I guess. When was the last time you felt confused? Why? An hour-ish ago. I was left really confused by that foreign-looking bird because we only ever get to see maya literally everywhere I am in the Philippines. How many lipsticks do you own? What colour is your favourite lipstick? I don’t have any kind of lipstick. Have you eaten any kind of dessert today? I had a slice of cheesecake; it was also the last slice :( Have you ever liked someone whose name started with 'C'? Nope. What colour eyes did they have? Do you know anyone who has an unusual pet? No. The most exotic ones I can remember are Michelle’s cockatiel, Moonmoon, and a super super past friend who used to have a snake, who I think was named after a wrestler. How old are you? Do you think you look younger/older than your actual age? I’m 22 but I def look younger. I’m always the friend that gets asked for an ID. Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with 'J'? My sister. How did you meet him/her? She...was brought to the house, where I was waiting, after she was born? Do you have a friend named Hannah? What colour hair does she have? Yup, I have a close friend. Last time I saw her it was dyed a very very light brown, almost blonde. Name 3 of your best friend's favourite foods. It’s impossible to guess Angela’s because she’s That Friend who says “anything is fine” when asked where she wants to eat lmao, and she really is always happy with whatever restaurant we end up picking so I’m guessing she likes all the food. I know Gabie likes albondigas, Yabu katsu, and any kind of pasta. When was the last time you had mixed emotions/feelings? Why? This morning when I found out our lockdown has been extended until May 15. I was ok with the extra time at home but I was also no longer ok with the extra time at home. Idk, it’s a weird feeling overall. How far away is the person you love/like? 15 minutes if I drive as fast as much as I feel restless to see her. Maybe 25-30 minutes if I drive more carefully. It’s a little comforting - and poetic - though that I live in the lower part of the city and having a rooftop allows me to see the higher portion, so whenever I miss her I just gaze at the peak of the mountain, where she lives.

What was the last thing you put in the bin? The sachet of 3-and-1 coffee I opened to make the cup of coffee currently beside me. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? I was feeling okay and a bit playful this afternoon but for some reason both of my parents snapped at me at the same time, so it effectively destroyed my mood and I stormed to my room, as hot as it gets in the afternoon, and slept for the next 5 hours. Have you paid anyone a compliment today? Who? I don’t think so. When was the last time you had butterflies? Why? Yesterday. Gonna be a bit of a story but here we go - I was surprised to see my girlfriend’s dad send a friend request on Facebook (we’ve been friends for a while now) so I figured he pressed the wrong buttons, unfriended me, and just added me again so I thought nothing of it and accepted the request. Told Gab about it shortly after and she said it was a spam account pretending to be him and told me to unfriend it immediately. I’ve heard enough of spam accounts getting private information off of unknowing people, so that’s Butterflies Part 1 for me because the damage had already been done with me adding him.

Anyway minutes after, his dad messages me and says there’s an account pretending to be him and if I already accepted the friend request, I had to unfriend it immediately. DUMB MOVE ON MY END but I replied, thanking him for the heads up and told Gabie “I talked to him, everything’s ok!” and then Gabie gave me Butterflies Part 2 when she said “...are you serious? Are you even sure it’s him?” so I started panicking because I thought I took the bait and I started thinking about all my private shit already being taken lmao. So I deleted the message and asked Gabie how I could prove if it’s the real Dad, so she said to check the profile and thankfully the account that messaged me was her dad so it was a false alarm hahahaha. Tl;dr, I would do AWFUL in a scam. Is there anything you hope will happen in the near future? For the virus to disappear, for the lockdown to end, for my unemployment/job-hunting anxiety to end.

[purplesurveys]

601

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Gabie and my dad are the only ones who can hold my hand. I feel uncomfortable when others do it, even if in a platonic sense. What was the last thing you paid for? I needed a quick lunch to get me by before my exam, so I had instant noodles and kwek-kwek. Has anyone ever told you that you were their best friend? Yes. What's your favorite thing you own? I like my phone because I can use it for almost everything. Can you recite all the lyrics to your favorite song? I don’t have an all-time favorite song but I do memorize the lyrics to a lot of songs that I like.

Who made you laugh the hardest today? I didn’t really laugh today other than towards Gab sending me a meme. Would you sing in front of a large crowd? No. Have you ever jumped out of a moving car? No but I’ve thought about it, lol. Do you prefer chocolate ice cream? I’d have it if it was the only flavor around, but it’s not really my first choice. Can you speak any other languages? Filed under: questions on *almost* every survey. Yes, I learned Filipino before mastering English. Have you ever heard of the band The Cliques? Yes, keywords here being heard of. I haven’t heard any of their material. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I had a crucial exam this morning that I only got to study for yesterday, so I really had to go all out. I only had five hours of sleep last night. Have you done your homework yet? I’m done with all my homework because I just finished my last requirement (a final exam) for this semester :) Time to be depressed this Christmas and disappear in my survey hole for the next two weeks. Did you get hurt today? Yes, my toothache has struck once again and it’s hurting like a bitch tonight. Thankfully this survey is distracting me from how painful it actually is being right now. What's a song no one would think you'd like, but you actually love? I’m not sure about ‘no one would think you’d like’ because I don’t pay attention to what people think of my music taste lmao but I’m surprised I ended up liking everything i wanted by Billie Eilish, considering her whispering annoys me most days. Have you ever snuck out? No. My mom always goes up and down the house and occasionally checks up my room, so she’d know if I left without permission. How old were you when you got your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 16. Are you talking to anyone? If so, who? I sent a text to Gab just now but we’re not in the middle of a conversation; I was just checking in on her. Have you ever been to Florida? Nope. What is the closest thing to you that's green? Fake plant decors on our dining table. When was the last time you wore a hat? A month ago when I decided to wear a cap to school. Are you broke right now? Far from it, thankfully hahaha. I’ve gathered a lot of savings for Christmas gifts but that’s gonna disappear next week when I finally go shopping. Has anyone given you a piggyback ride today? No. I’m not one to jump on someone’s back for a ride either. When was the last time you felt absolutely happy? Maybe last Monday when I paid my girlfriend a visit. She had a rough weekend and was not talking to absolutely anybody, myself and her family included. I felt happy to improve her mood just by simply showing up. When was the last time you felt upset? Yesterday, I got unbelievably pissed at myself because I stayed at home thinking I didn’t have to go to school (because I was done with almost all requirements) – I HAD A REPORT SLATED FOR YESTERDAY that I completely forgot about. I have never missed a single goddamn report in my whole time in college until then. Thankfully it’s a very chill class and it’s a group report, so my groupmates covered for me; but I definitely made sure I PM’d them individually and apologized profusely. How did you react when your first pet died? I wasn’t too attached to my first goldfish, so I was sad about it when he died but I wasn’t too distraught either. Have you ever drawn anime? No. If you had to give up everything for someone, would you? Probably not. What do you hear right now? I’m listening to a lo-fi playlist on Spotify. Do you feel alone right now? Nope. I just feel SHITTY because of this TOOTHACHE Have you ever told someone that you loved that you hated them? Never. Hate is a strong word. I don’t want to inflict something temporary onto someone important to me, because I’ll regret it immediately after and for the rest of my life. What are you looking forward to? This toothache going away, and for the rest of my Christmas break. I’ve never been more happy about a semester ending – this last one shook up my mental health so bad lmfao. When does your school let out for summer break? It’s either the third or the last week of May. Have you ever played Bingo? Yes. I remember one of my grand-aunts hosting A LOT of bingo parties at her place, and my 8 year old self would join her and her amigas not knowing it was already a form of gambling. I just joined because it won me some money haha. Can you use a pogo stick? No. I’ve always wanted to try it, but I’ve never even seen a real-life one. When's the next time you'll see the person that you like? I have no clue. Saturday seems slim cos we both have our respective Christmas parties, so I may just opt to see her next week when we go gift shopping. Do you currently want something? If so, what? If the theme for this survey still isn’t reiterated enough, it’s for this toothache to go away. Have you ever skinny dipped? No. Not really the sort of thing I’d do. What are you looking forward to most this summer? Graduating and getting whatever graduation gift I get, if any. And finally coming out to my parents. Can you draw well? Nope. Do you like bathing/showering? Only if it gets very hot/humid or when I feel dirty. Otherwise I get lazy. How do you feel about today? it was uneventful. I just went to school this morning to take my final exam for two hours, drove back home, slept all afternoon, and now I’m taking this survey. Maybe I’ll watch Friends after. What would you change about yourself? My confidence, and my lack thereof. What was the last thing you had to drink? Chocolate con nueces from our local bakery.

Who's closest to you, where you are? My sister and her boyfriend are chilling in the living room where he’s playing the PS4. Have you ever stolen something from a department store? No. Have you ever jumped off your roof? No, but [trigger warning: suicide] I’ve looked down at the ground from our rooftop thinking if I’d survive the jump. When was the last time you wanted to scream? Earlier this morning dealing with stupid drivers. Are you honest? I try to be. When was the last time you cried? If I remember it correctly, Friday or Saturday evening. I missed Nacho so I decided to talk to him. Can you play the violin? Haha, no and the few times I tried it I was atrocious. It’s a beautiful instrument. Have you ever considered entering a race? No. I don’t have the stamina and endurance for it. Are you listening to music right now? Yep. What's the nicest thing someone said to you today? My classmate said she was happy she met me in our class. Who said it? Gia, from my Contemporary Philippines class. If someone asked you to get them a soda right now, would you? If it was Gab, then yes I’d drive all the way there to get her a can of soda because I miss her hahahaha. I probably wouldn’t do it for anyone else. Have you ever broken a bone? I have not. Do you have a middle name? Yes. When was the last time you went on vacation? August. Do you truly love anyone? I truly love a lot of people.