#I’M PRETTY SURE I MESSED UP ON THE PORTRAIT PANTS FOR MAY BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT

[tundra8855]

crackheads

[beann-e]

Mha Characters reacting to being hugged randomly by their s/o

Shinso

-shinso would welcome you & your hug & words & then fight you to see who’s better with their words

-i take from his character that he loves winning — no matter if it’s something small or not he’ll act like he doesn’t care for it but won’t stop until he wins

It’s been a hard day he’ll admit.

Today was his first day being around class 1-A — and he could honestly say

they were just as annoying as he thought

Everyone was too quick to welcome him and surround him which just pissed him off

well, apart from the asshole with the red eyes who he refused to keep eye contact with

just bakugous mere presence or even his mouth opening pissed him off

Knowing deku and going off of how they first met when he shoved him out of the arena

showing him yet again that the hero course was not to be messed with

he thought he was prepared to meet the same person only for him to be wrong and walk in to see hero deku and class deku were two different people he was not yet ready to meet

To him hero deku was hardcore and fight fight fight

class deku was a loser

a loser who got bullied , fell on the stairs flat on his face, and got embarrassed by aizawa when he for the 4th time yet again in one class started staring at shinso with wide eyes like a tiny pervert and writing like a stalker his notebook

He took a deep breath before he grabbed the handle to your door just knowing that being by your side he may feel a little better

he silently prayed that today you weren’t doing something weird in your room like he often’d find you.

Thanking god when he saw you at your desk a small wave coming from you at his entrance

“ drawing — give me a sec “

he grunted as he sat on your bed hands holding him up while he flicked through his phones many apps — well not many seeing as though he rarely had time to get on his phone

Which is why he was confused when he found himself actually going through it pausing when he noticed he’d ended up on google trying to figure out different dog barks and their meanings hoping he could find a way to talk to bakugou and tell him to shut the hell up

“ you uh — “ he threw his phone behind him on your bed propping himself up to lay back “ you still drawing “

“ mmhm “ you said softly as you traced on the paper in front of you attention focused on your new hero design

“ oh “ his voice was soft you knew something was wrong he wasn’t a man of many words but he would always try to string a sentence along for you

“ hey shin you good “ you put the pencil in your mouth as you erased a line you’d messed up on

“ yeah “ he moved to stand up “ yeah “ he let out while looking around your room “ just tired baby “

your eyes creased as you ran the words through your mind until you both sat in silence the room growing cold

‘ somethings off ‘

“ well my uh — my girlfriends too bus— “

his mouth fell open in a wide o as he looked down to see your face pressed into his chest hands tied around his back your feet planted right in between his as you two stood in the middle of the room

His heart beating out of his chest when he noticed what you were drawing

“ y/— “

“ shh “

you pushed yourself further in his chest “ hug me back please babe “

he jumped forgetting that sometimes he had to return your affection and couldn’t just accept it.

That was hard for him to let himself do the things you do so freely.

His arms hung loosely around your back making you smile “ your getting there “ your voice came out muffled “ I’m so proud of you pretty boy “

he shook at your praise “ p-pretty boy “

“ yeah — your fucking hot babe “ he felt himself sinking into you

“ h-how — how am I hot ? “ the word fell foreign on his lips

“ your quirks so amazing — you look so good when your trying your best it makes me feel warm inside — and I especially like when you use your voice mask “

he found himself smiling

“ don’t get me started on your looks who can pull off purple hair like you shin “

“ you — you could “

“ oh god see and your an amazing liar — your all around awesome shin “

“ t-thank you but I don’t des—“

“ you deserve it “

you two fell quiet as he gripped you harder finally giving in to your affection

‘ he’s ok now ‘

“ how did you know something was “ he sighed out as he pressed his head in your hair “ off “

“ your always tired shin — always — you’ve never actually voiced it though so I was — I felt off myself when you said it —it felt weird “

“ you knew off of one phrase “

“ one phrase “

he smiled into your hair pulling your face back to plant a kiss to your forehead

“ see so fucking beautiful baby “

your thumb traced his face making sure to run under his eyes feeling just how tired he actually was when you felt his eye bags

“ no after school rant today “ he laughed mocking you in your own voice

“ get to sleep baby you have class tomorrow— shin if I see any new eyebags i’m kicking your ass — bab— “

you pushed him away as he fell back on your bed

“ what ? what I was just saying — i mean am i wrong you do say all of those things “

“ get out “ you protested sitting back in your chair continuing your drawing “ come look at this “

he sat confused as he blinked “ I uh “

“ choose the latter “

he smiled as he walked over to your chair draping himself over your shoulder “ your so talented “

“ no I just — i draw “ you said softly

“ oh she just draws “ he copied “ the beautiful lady just draws as she proceeds to draw a portrait of my new hero costume “

he pouted “ you couldn’t have possibly done this all right now how long did this take you “

you looked away

“ I told you I knew you were sad “ sighing as you looked up at him neck bent backwards

“ so I started drawing it when I walked past you in the hallway like I said your always tired but today you were wiping at your eyes constantly — yawning and just then you confirmed it saying you were tired so I “

you looked away “ I drew what you’d been trying to “

he moved to place his lips on yours not letting up until the both of you had to tap out at the lack of oxygen “ your so fucking beau— “

“ Beautiful “ you cut him off words syncing with his up as you two continued the rest of the night with you yelling at him about how he had to open up to his classmates and accept their flaws first before he came to talk badly about them to you

except for bakugou he could talk badly about him

“ thank you for the hug “

“thank you for the acceptance on my drawing “

“ thank you for the praise “

“ thank you for being with me“

he scoffed as his face grew hard before relaxing into a smirk “ thank you for loving me “

“ y-you win “

he laughed as he met your face with one more kiss smiling down on you “ I win “

Bakugou

-you only know because he doesn’t get upset at your actions and your in total surprise

You moved your hand to poke at your boyfriend for the 7th time in a row

your body ducking under his bed in fear of his screams everytime you poked

you frowned when he didn’t acknowledge you

you were only doing it because you wanted to hear some kind of response from him most times when you annoyed him like this he would pick you up and plop you on his bed and tickle the life out of you until you both fell asleep

For some reason he was barely even moving from the spot he came in and laid himself down in

After class the both of you walked to his dorm and he unlocked it holding it open for you and walking in after throwing his backpack to the corner as he ripped off his uniform blazer hand outstretched for yours as he laid them over the back of the desk chair

squatting down to help you take off your shoes and then grabbing them to place at the door his own falling right off his feet with a loud thump.

Him moving to his bed grabbing you and sitting you down on the floor in front of him your legs crossed in front of you as he laid on the bed looking at your sitting figure on the floor

His eyes never leaving yours the whole time until he finally shook his head and turned away from you causing your body to fall

thus leading to your endless pokes

‘ wait now that I think about it ‘

“ babe— have you talked at all today “

you looked to the floor “ I— I don’t think you’ve talked all day “ holding out your hand counting off your fingers

“ at lunch you didn’t even ask me what I wanted you just “

your hands moved up with your shoulders in a shrug “ got it “

you played with the hem on your pants

“ at practice you didn’t partner with kiri you just stayed near me and when we got in your room you“

you looked to your feet voice soft trying to sort through your mind

“ you took my shoes off for me “

you sat for a moment moving to poke him again his body never moving no answer being given to you

“ I know your not sleeping kats —you breathe heavy as shit when you are so “

he didn’t laugh or even grunt nothing falling from his lips as your eyebrows quirked into a knowing furrow

Hands and body leaving the floor as you climbed on his bed to lay on top of his body

your chest draped over his right side

legs straddling his own and your mouth pressed right into his ear

“ I swear i’m not going anywhere baby “

you watched as his eyes moved from the wall across from you two to the pillow right next to him

in hopes of conserving his feelings

“ your doing great — your the coolest and strongest guy I know “

you kissed the outer shell of his ear

“ your so respectful and understanding of my needs“

you placed a kiss to his jaw “ your cuddles are amazing and you make me feel loved when you finally give in and let me win our fights — snuggling up to me on the couch “

you moved to kiss the end of his eyebrow

“ your so hot when you talk to me —that’s when I find you the hottest “

your eyes fell to his lips as you stared down on him

“ when you answer me — and acknowledge me “

he grunted a little in response

his eyes closing when your mouth found his neck kissing softly as you smiled

“ there you go pretty boy“

he groaned as you hugged him arms wrapping around whatever part of his body you could find

“ your kissing everywhere but where I want you to “

“ and where’s that “

“ you know babe “

his face flashed a look you weren’t fast enough to catch as you laughed at him

“ fine fine “

you let your lips hover over his as he turned his body so you were now laying directly on top of him

his hands coming to rest on your lower back

“ before I give you this kiss “

“ fuck—seriously y/n — you can’t just talk after—you worked me up expecting a kiss “

he shook his head in annoyance “ fucking tease — I knew I should’ve kept my mood “

“ but why “ your face dropped as you looked around his “ why did you have a mood katsuki “

he grunted “ because I “

he sighed as he looked directly into your eyes “ sometimes I feel like i’m not doing enough like I could do more for you and sometimes I feel like I treat you like an asshole and what — what girl wants to date an asshole “

he shook his head “ I don’t know if I tell you I love you enough or if I— if I show you that I can protect you if I wanted to or even that I can supply all your needs “

he mumbled under his breath “ I don’t even know if i talk to you enough “

you smiled as you ran your hand through the top of his hair “ you do — you do it all “

you laughed “ and your just fine “

he looked away as you pulled his face back

“ no kats look at me “ his eyes darted away hating how he just opened up to you and now you were begging for eye contact he felt stupid and way too open

“ kats look “ he slowly found his eyes moving to yours at your tone

he knew not to mess around when your praising him it pisses you off and one thing he knows he doesn’t feel like dealing with is a pissed off girlfriend

especially after he just cleaned up his room from your last outburst of firing off his gauntlet at his negligence to answer you

luckily he fell submissive right after mind racing at your attempt to kill him over a small eyeroll and scoff at your praise

Only sucking up his attitude so he didn’t have to run into another problem like that where aizawa flat out kicked his ass for the hole you created in the wall that he somehow took the blame for when he felt your stone cold stare on his back in the office

he was not about to risk his good moment with you right now

“ your amazing , Beautiful , smart and talented “ he shook at the praise body growing hot

“ your doing so good for me and I couldn’t ask for anymore “ you smiled slightly “ keep doing what your doing “

his heart thumped hoping you couldn’t hear it

“ and also i’m not complaining —if you y’know ever wanted to take off my shoes for me again “

he scoffed as he looked away from you and back “ how’d you know “

“ you always tickle me when I poke and annoy you “

you pouted as he spoke “ huh always ? “

“ always “

“ you know my routine that much “ you shook your head in a yes

“ so now that I know why your always pissing me off and what you want I doubt I feel like giving it to you anymore “

you moved to get off of him “ ok well i’m sure it’s a bit more fun with kirish—“

your loud laugh ripped through the room as you fell to his floor with a loud boom

his mouth curling up into a smile as he dragged you back on the bed your protest falling on deaf ears as he continued until he finally stopped speaking into your ear softly

“ I lov—“ he shook his head burying himself into your chest “ fuck you shitty woman “

you smiled at his words hand raking up the back of his neck and into his hair “ I love you katsuki “

kiri

-the only way I can see you understanding somethings off with kirishima is if he just hasn’t been smiling or making comments all day

-then your like :0 uh woah dude my boyfriend hasn’t smiled all day

“ how about ice cream and a movie ? “ you turned to the red head sitting on the couch beside you then shaking you head at your question “ nah sounds lame right “

you laughed “ I knew you would say that “

you pouted when your thoughts finally connected “ oh — nevermind babe i’m sorry I forgot I didn’t do my homework it’s the one midnight gave us I should probably get started—“

Your mouth moving so fast you missed the way the speed in his leg increased in its shakes , the puff of air he let out at your continued talking when he just wanted silence.

Sometimes he enjoyed being around bakugou because at least he had silence for a moment just a moment until he would scream his head off only to return back to the quiet environment he’d created before

“ so yeah it’s a lot and if I don’t get it turned in today I may just fail her clas -“

“ then get it done “ his voice was low and quick to snap at you which had your mind stalling

you laughed uncomfortable with the way he spoke to you “ aw uh where’s my happy guy “

he scoffed as he shifted on the couch his leg speeding up its pace “ where’s my annoying girlfriend “

he snapped his fingers pointing it to you “ oh I spy with my little eye “

his voice was dead as he spoke

“ she’s right next to me “

your eyebrows furrowed as you jumped back a bit

you couldn’t even make out words after his comments

you knew for your few months of dating kirishima that it couldn’t be possible for him to be happy and care about people’s feelings all the time

he had to open up and let you see him pissed off at least once to seal the deal on your relationship

this was it

this was the seal but for some reason you didn’t know if you could close it —much less address it and find the problem

“ kirishima what’s wrong with you “

“ you’ve just been talking all day baby i’m a bit tired of just— “

he felt his body growing a bit hotter than normal , you feeling the heat from his words make their way over to you everytime he spit them out

“just hearing you — I know I can go on and on for hours but if I can go hours you can go days and I just never noticed until now “

“ oh “

“ yeah I need some silence right now babe and your—your not helping” his voice was low even upset he was still trying to save your feelings not that it worked

“ no ones helping “

you looked from your boyfriend to everyone around the room

their voices echoing with laughter everyone spread out around the room as they spoke about what they all did today.

The kitchen full of people

bakugous yelling moving its way down the dorm halls

your face dropping as you stood and grabbed his hand that he snatched back quickly

“ I don’t want to leave “

you pouted settling yourself back on the couch you didn’t know how to deal with him like this and his best friend wasn’t here and almost everyone else he said was adding to his anger would just make him angrier right ? if you called them over

so who could you get to help ?

“ I may be pissed off by them but I — I still want to be around people I don’t want to be upset and alon— “

Time slowed as he felt his body weigh down almost as if he felt the weight of himself when he used his quirk.

Eyes widened before they closed basking in the heat your body supplied as you crawled in his lap wrapping your arms around his neck legs around his own in a straddle

his body just relaxing into your hold not making any movements the occasional jump to follow you whenever you would move

“ come on tell me what’s wrong baby “

your voice was soft in his ear not wanting to draw attention over seeing as though he wasn’t in the best of moods “ who do you want me to fight “

you looked closely at his face as he was just quiet hands finally moving to push both your legs up so that he could get you as close as possible his mouth moving to kiss yours

happiness of the moment overflowing within you as you let him guide you in the kiss surrendering all control to him and letting him lead

“ just feeling a little background today ? “ you said smiling hands cupping his face

“ I understand it gets to someone after a whil— “

“and everyone acts totally brand new when they see i’m not happy for one day —baby one literal day —why am i just expected to be happy all the time “

he dropped his head to your chest “ i’m not no one is”

“ so then tell me what’s wrong why aren’t you happy today “

“ nothings wrong y/n “

his voice boomed loud through your chest

“ nothing is wrong I just feel like having quiet today but because of that —here everyone is —in my face asking me what’s wrong telling me i’m not myself “

he tried to bury his head further in your chest

“ when I want quiet everyones loud and I —I never noticed how loud i am —how loud everything is until I stopped talking and I hate it —I hate how loud everything is “

you sighed as his fingers ran along your thigh “ I thought if I followed you out here to watch a movie I would be comfortable “

his voice was sad “ I just wanted to come out here and watch a movie with my girlfriend but “

your hand running over his shoulders and back up finding a hold in his hair

“ I just got more pissed off when you actually started talking I just expected —if no one else could be quiet then you would “

“ well i’m sorry I wasn’t quiet “

“ you shouldn’t have to be not cause I want you to be“

“ that’s right “

“ I know “ he took a deep breath looking up at

“ I know you think i’m an asshole now because you’ve seen this side of me—the angry one but “

“ I don’t think your an asshole or you’d be sitting in bakugous room right now crying that there’s lemon juice in your eyes “

his mouth shut instantly as he stared at you in fear your thumb running circles over his cheek

“ h-how can say something like that and “ he shook his head “ that’s so manly god I love you so much “

“ I love you too but —you have to tell me things kiri I can’t just “

you flicked his forehead as he crinkled his nose in pain “ I can’t just read your big brain”

“ but you did it just now “

“ huh “

“ all I wanted was for you to hug me and like shower me in kisses to calm me down and you “

he kissed your forehead “ you did it —which kinda had me confused on how you knew me so well “

you laughed “ you looked sad —upset and I wanted to remind you that I was still here regardless of how you feel —you cat push me away that easily “

he smiled widely as you two felt heat radiate through your bodies

“ I really do love you baby months or years or days I love how well you know me”

your mouth opening to laugh as you cuddled into his neck

“ guys kirishimas fine “ denkis voice made the both of you shake

“ I told you he just wanted some attention from y/n —guys he just has a small case of simptitis “

your head turned quickly as you seen the shaking boy beneath you “ uh your room “

“ my room “

[siriusheadspace]

illicit affairs - sirius black x reader

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You and Sirius start seeing each other in secret around Hogwarts since his best friend Remus has a crush on you, but is too shy to act on it. Inspired by "Illicit Affairs", by Taylor Swift.

A/N: God, all of a sudden I developed this hyper fixation with Sirius. I got a bunch of ideas for stories with him (and all of them inspired by songs lol) but this was the one that felt more structured. I haven't written in a while and English is not my first language so be kind lol

Words: 2k ish

-

Make sure nobody sees you leave Hood over your head Keep your eyes down

You could swear the entire Hogwarts castle heard your hitched breath while you tried to make your way to the Gryffindor tower as silently as possible. Sirius was the one to leave first this time, heading for his dormitory while you had to count to 300 - you forgot your watch this time. You were sure it was his time to wait, but you didn't contradict him after he zipped his pants, gave you one last rough kiss, and said "Later, then?".

Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return

It took some time to develop this relationship to the point where you didn't have to talk and check each other's stories to avoid being caught. You knew your friends and roommates didn't believe you were risking getting caught and losing house points just for a night walk around the castle, but they gave up on you telling them who you were seeing.

Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop

It started last year, in your sixth year in Hogwarts. You always had a crush on Sirius, but that's not uncommon - nearly every girl on your year couldn't help falling for his long, silky hair, his gray eyes, his long, yet toned body, and, of course, his devil may care attitude. But he never really paid attention to you, just some light flirting in a party at the Gryffindor common room one time; you were pretty sure he didn't know your name. But it changed last year. You can't quite point to when, exactly, you noticed the Marauders would go quiet once you walked by. But it got to the point where you would always notice. You'd pass by them on purpose, flattered by the attention Black was finally giving you. But you didn't notice that it was his friend, Remus, that gave you the most passionate looks.

What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots

At a party right after a Quiddich match, you decided you would do something about it and give Sirius the chance to make a move. You took hours getting ready, borrowed a dress from a friend, the cleavage more revealing than anything else you ever wore, the fire whiskey burning your throat and your shyness. Once you came down the stairs, you could feel the glances at you, running up and down your body, another rush to add to the whiskey and to boost your confidence. Your friend group was close to the Marauders and you thanked the gods for it. You were all dancing together, and Remus excused himself after a few songs - you later figured he might be trying to get confident enough to make a move - once Sirius perfume got to you. Sandalwood, something citric and tobacco, all mixed to intoxicate you. You started dancing closer to him, and, in a spike of lust, grabbed his hand and went to an empty room. He looked confused but didn't complain when you pushed him against the wall and kissed him fervently. You felt his smirk, his excitement, once he pushed you back against a table and pulled your legs around him so he could lift you and sit you on it. He only stopped to catch his breath once you were panting and pulling his lower lip between your teeth. You felt like a goddess when his long fingers explored your body, lingering on your exposed curves. You unbuttoned his shirt while he unzipped your dress, and, without giving it a second thought, with a spark of pain between all the pleasure, you had your first time with the infamous Sirius Black.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares

When you were finished, the combination of soreness and embarrassment started to make your chest heavy - the first time of many. Sirius was a gentleman, though, helping you fix yourself enough so it wasn’t obvious that you were doing what you just did, not commenting on the blood, or when your nails pressed against the skin of his shoulders out of pain. You felt his stares during the next few weeks, trying to find a way of talking to him and meet him again, maybe on a date, something more romantic than snogging on dark, empty classrooms. One night, you were reading in the common room and noticed him alone, leaning against the wall, close to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Once he felt your eyes on him, he left the room, and you felt a rush, getting up, counting to ten, and following him to another empty classroom, where he quickly took your book off your hands and moved them to his neck.

It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

You were anxious to repeat his steps, standing against the wall, waiting for him to look at you. But he sure followed you to yet another empty room. That time, you actually had a conversation after you were done, but it was far from the romantic invitation for a date at Madame Puddifoot. "You need to be less obvious", he said, buttoning up his shirt. "I just did what you've done last time", you said, pulling your skirt up, feeling the warmness between your legs, the humiliation of being scolded like a kid by the person responsible for it. "But if it's going to happen that often", he smirked, "we have to figure out a way to do it in a way that people don't have to pay the tiniest amount of attention to find out, baby", he completed, and started scheming. You agreed to his plan: whenever any of you wanted to see the other, you'd send a note with a smiley face, something that wouldn't be revealing and wouldn't mean anything to anyone but the two of you, and you'd meet at three in the morning at the come and go room. "It's safe. And it has an appropriate name, don't you think?", he laughed, and you shot him a weak smile. He walked to the door but before he opened it, you put your hand on his arm. "Sirius", you said, and he noticed that he liked the way his name sounded on your lips when you were composed as well, and scolded himself for the flutter in his chest caused by it, "Are you doing something this weekend? I thought we could go to Madame Pu..." "We shouldn't be seen in public, doll", he said, trying to give you one of his smirks, but you noticed how his eyes still looked sad. It didn't matter, though - the weight of rejection pulled you down and you had to use all of your energy not to break down crying while going back to your room. Sirius went first. Once you were about to go up the stairs that would lead to your room, you heard his laughter with his friends coming from the other staircase. Unbothered by your encounter.

Leave the perfume on the shelf That you picked out just for him So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist

You've dealt with by rationalizing it in many different ways. You thought that the next time you got a piece of parchment with a smiley face, you'd just ignore him, happy to imagine him alone and pathetic, waiting for you. But you never had the strength to do it. You'd always fix your hair and some makeup and went straight back to his arms.

Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

"Why does it have to be like this?", you asked, feeling brave, six months after your first encounter. "Y/N", he said - you felt a shiver up your spine like you always did when you heard your name in his voice - "I'm a bad friend. And I'm trying to avoid coming to terms with that", he completed with a sad smile on his face. Once he noticed your confusion, he explained how he started noticing you after Remus admitted to having a crush on you, but never had the guts to tell you. That Remus made him notice things about you he wasn't paying attention before - how your lips would pout when you were concentrating during Charms, how your soft curves were visible under the heavy wool of the sweaters you liked to wear - but it was you, in a burst of attitude, pushing him against a wall that made him give up on being a good friend for Remus on what concerned you.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A billion little times

You accepted your status as a shameful secret. Remus still gave you fond looks and eventually had the courage to get close to you, trying to help with your DADA homework, complimenting haircuts, holding doors open to you. And you thanked him with your heart full of guilt, Sirius' stare burning on your back. After one of your encounters, Sirius brushed his fingers against your cheek and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. You were still shocked at the demonstration of affection when he left the room first, and you started counting to 300 again. 151… Is he falling for you? 208… It can't be. It has to be just physical. Why would he fall for you and still keep you as a secret? 299… It clicked. He could fall for you a million times, it would never be as important as his friendship with Remus. And you loved him a bit more because of that. 300.

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

You tried seeing other guys. You went on dates, and you blushed at their compliments, but none of them had a fraction of the effect of Sirius had on you. You still hoped he noticed when one of them would hold your hand on the way to Hogsmeade. You could only hope it hurt him as much as it hurt you to see him flirt with other girls. To listen to his voice calling them "baby".

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

One night, you were whispering his name with him already inside you, your shirt undone, your bra unclasped, your skirt pulled up, when the door opened. The pain in Remus’s eyes as he understood what was happening in front of him was something you knew you would never forget. Sirius left you there, dressing himself quickly while apologizing profusely to his friend. You turned around and tried to fix yourself, and they left without even looking back at you.

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

None of them ever spoke with you again. It was as if you were taboo. Even James and Peter wouldn't pay attention to you once you spoke in class or told a funny joke to your friend in the common room. You figured it was fair. They had to do what's best for their friendship. And if pretending you didn't exist was the price to pay for that, they'd all pay it. When you saw them all laughing together, joyful, you knew you'd do the same.

But, sometimes, you could swear you felt Sirius’ gaze against you. And you knew that was as close as he'd get to ever touching you again.

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 4537 Chapter: 4/9 Rated: T+ Summary: When his brother disappears coming home from town Madara goes looking for him only for both to end up taken prisoner in a castle hidden by magic generations ago. The candelabras talk, the furniture sleeps, and a great white beast hides himself away in the eastern wing. As he uncovers the story behind this place and gets to know the last small group of ‘survivors’ Madara gradually makes a new home here in the least likely of places.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

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Chapter 4

Living outside of time was strange. Intellectually Madara knew that when he left the village it had been the rainy season and there was no reason to expect snow for several more months, later than the year before if the almanac was to be believed. Knowing that, it should have felt so much more odd to stand in the open doorway of the castle and stare out across snow covered grounds that looked closer to the heart of winter than the middle of autumn. He wondered for a moment if being bound to this place made him just a little more connected to the magic and therefore a little less surprised by things but cast that idea away rather quickly. That wasn’t what he wanted to dwell on today.

He’d gotten himself all nicely dressed in a pair of sturdy boots Hashirama dug up for him and one of the thick coats hanging in the room he shared with Izuna. The plan had been to walk around the edge of the grounds and see how far his binding would allow him to stray but now that he was here he felt almost exhausted just thinking about the effort.

Considering the lack of moving time Madara couldn’t be sure how long he’d been standing there in indecision when movement caught his eye and he turned his head to watch the beast himself come around the corner. Despite telling Kagami just a few days before that he didn’t mind if the damn thing roamed his own castle the meeting was still so unexpected Madara froze and could do nothing but stare until he was spotted in return, the creature pausing between one long step and the next. He met glowing red eyes and, incredibly, he first thought was ‘he looks sad’.

Whatever the beast’s thoughts were it seemed pretty obvious they had nothing to do with whether or not Madara looked sad. More than anything he looked like he was contemplating which spire to climb so he could throw himself off of it, though that might have been an effect of the deep brows his twisted face was cursed with, something Madara hoped had not been there when his face had been human – ostensibly. His mane of white hair shifted around him as it was pulled by the gentle wind and the slight movement made it a little easier to distinguish his shape from the equally white snow behind him. It was possible that his coloring was an effect of the curse. Considering what Madara had seen in that portrait, though, he would guess not.

“Finally came out of hiding?” he called, partly to break the silence and partly because he just didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut sometimes. He wasn’t surprised to see the creature frown.

“If my efforts towards making you more comfortable are so unappreciated I would be more than glad to forego them in the future.”

“Oh don’t be a grumpy idiot now,” Madara snapped. “You did enough of that the last two times I saw you. I think we both know at this point that you’re not going to eat my fingers for an afternoon snack so stop pretending.”

The creature snorted, blowing out a puff of steam in the chilly air around them. He stomped one of his hooves without really seeming to notice and settled in to a more natural stance than staying paused between steps had left him in. Madara considered him for a moment and then turned away to look around them with deliberate nonchalance. With his gaze focused a little closer to himself than the far distance he could see tracks his eyes must have passed over before, evidence that his present company had been out here for quite some time with the way they started in one direction and seemed to loop all the way around the building to where the beast was now coming from the opposite side.

“Been out here for a while huh?”

“An old habit from when I first began testing the boundaries of my imprisonment.”

Madara blinked. He really hadn’t expected them both to be out here doing the same thing. Without thinking about it he asked, “How far can we go?”

Even more surprisingly, he got an answer.

“To the west our borders reach just beyond the gardens. Our northern wall marks the edge in that direction. To the south we are granted some two miles of forest trails behind the stables and to the east we may alight on the shore beyond the lake but no farther.” The creature shook his head. “You will know you have reached the edge when you find yourself turning back against your own will.”

“Oh. I kind of thought it would be painful or something. Like a shock or a burn maybe.” Madara fought the urge to scratch at the back of his head awkwardly, feeling a little stupid for automatically assuming that.

“We suffer enough by being here,” was the only answer he got.

Feeling even more awkward now, Madara shifted his weight and half turned back towards the inside of the castle. “Right. I guess I don’t really need to go explore for myself now then. Waste of time. Look, like I said to the others, this is your home. So if you want to walk around or something don’t worry about bothering my brother and me. You don’t even have to talk to us or anything if you don’t want to.”

“That is unexpectedly kind of you.”

“Not really. Its common manners. I do understand those, you know. Except right now I’m going to ignore manners and go back inside so I’ll see you around maybe…uh…” Madara faltered when he realized he was about to call the thing ‘Beast’ as an actual title, something that might really have gotten him eaten.

It took a moment but the creature eventually seemed to realize the cause of his hesitation and narrowed red eyes in to a glare. “My name is Tobirama.”

Unable to decide how he wanted to deal with the revelation of knowing the monster’s name, Madara stumbled over a few half sentences which might have been strung together as a goodbye of some sort and fled back indoors. He hurried all the way up to the room where he was grateful to find Izuna missing. Today being a rare day when he felt well enough to move about on his own, Izuna had gone down to eat breakfast in the kitchen for once and actually socialize with their animated hosts. Madara was grateful not to be questioned as he removed all of his unused winter wear and proceeded to stomp circles around the beautiful carpet until his heart stopped racing inside of his chest.

He had spoken to his own jailor. Worse than that he hadn’t actually hated speaking to the thing. Or Tobirama, as was apparently the name he should have been using. Having a name for the twisted face did strange things to his mind and Madara realized that he was immediately thinking of Tobirama as more human just for being able to stop referring to him as ‘the beast’ or ‘the creature’. With a name instead of a scary title he no longer had over-exaggerated images come to mind of foot long teeth or hands so big they could crush his entire head in one fist. The reality of Tobirama was that he was half of a twisted monster, yes, but that the other half of him remained pathetically and painfully human. And Madara wasn’t sure what to do with that.

As had become his first instinct lately, he thought about going to talk to Hashirama about it. Surely one who had been here since before this whole mess started would have a few helpful insights. Then he thought the better of it and considered going over things with Izuna instead. His brother knew him better than anyone in the world, after all, and it might have been more helpful to talk to someone who would understand his reactions to everything. He was still undecided when he stepped out of the room and nearly leapt out of his skin at the squeaky panicked voice under his feet.

“Do not step upon me!” When he was able to see through the fright Madara looked down to find little Kagami scrambling out from underneath the path of his footsteps.

“What are you doing?” he demanded. “I almost squashed you like a bug!”

“I am so very sorry!”

Realizing he was still holding one foot up in the air, Madara set it down out of the way and shook his head. “You should be a little more careful about where you walk. He looks harmless but I’m pretty sure Hashirama would light me on fire in my sleep if I actually hurt you in any way.”

“He might weep for a very long time but I am certain Hashirama could never hurt you. The one you would really have to look out for is sensei!” Seeing him fall in to a more natural stance, Kagami hurried over and began scaling the seam on his pant leg, using folds as handholds until he was able to swing over and climb up to sit on Madara's shoulder uninvited.

“Comfortable?” Madara asked him dryly.

Kagami beamed. “Yes! Sensei is so tall I often get dizzy riding upon his heights. It is pleasing to see the Uchiha line has kept its traditional stature!”

“You know, you’re a kid and you still talk fancier than I do. I can’t decide if it’s just years of exposure without aging or if kids from your time really were just overly educated. Wait. In all the time I’ve been here I don’t think either of us has ever mentioned our last name. How did you know we’re Uchiha?” It was a legitimate question he thought. There had been a couple of occasions when they maybe should have given their family name to be polite but Madara had held back in the beginning because he didn’t want to be followed if he somehow escaped and then later there had been no reason to think about it anymore.

So it was weird to him that Kagami would know this without being told and he thought he was well within his rights to question it. He was quite surprised to see the little soldier looking back at him as though it was odd to have his knowledge questioned.

“How could I not recognize another of the Uchiha family? The hair alone is distinctive enough but the jaw and the nose too, it is as like as looking in a mirror!”

“You’re…an Uchiha?”

“Of course!”

“There are more of us!?”

Kagami blinked. “Are there none left?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“Not that I know of. Our parents never mentioned having any other relatives anywhere. We used to have three other siblings but none of them lived much past puberty. As far as I know it’s just us. And…you?” Madara tried to wrap his head around how long the family tree would have to be to connect him and the little boy on his shoulder who was somehow both younger and older than himself.

“There used to be dozens of Uchiha in this city. Before the sickness came our family was one of the most prominent, sworn to serve the royal line, and even I was already being groomed to stay away from potential brides who might not be good enough to marry in to our bloodline. When the Sannin Tsunade removed us from memory there would have been more than a dozen Uchiha left in the city. I thought they would have had children.” He hung his wooden head in sorrow and Madara looked away.

He’d known that the people inside the castle were stopped in time and that they had been watching each other fall in to permanent slumber one by one for years but it had never occurred to him that they might have had ties with people outside the magic as well, that they would have been forced to come to terms with the inevitable death of their missing loved ones. In a way he could almost relate.

“It’s not actually a city anymore,” he corrected, not sure how to keep the subject from getting any darker. “Where we live it’s just a village, barely even that really.”

“The peoples must have left when they could no longer remember what kept them there.” Kagami shifted and tugged at his own tin soldier hat thoughtfully.

“Hold on…”

When his face suddenly dropped the boy on his shoulder went as tense as a boy made of metal could. “What is it? Have I done wrong?”

“No I just…is that what happened to the other brothers?” He almost regretted his words when Kagami’s face fell.

“The two other royal brothers? Yes, that is what happened to them.” The boy sighed despondently. “Itama-sama and Kawarama-sama. Unfortunately they were both away from home when the magic was cast. As the youngest brothers they were expected to join the cavalry and they happened to be leading an official inspection of each border unit when the Great Sannin removed us from time; we can only assume they lived out the rest of their lives never knowing the family they were missing.”

“At least they had each other?” Madara tried.

“Oh yes! That is a very kind way to look at it! Thank you, cousin!”

That brought him up short again. Kagami shifted around and began to braid three tiny strands of his hair together while Madara worked his way through being addressed as cousin when he knew for sure the relationship would be wildly more complicated than that. After a few seconds he decided it wasn’t worth hashing out and finally changed the subject entirely.

“Did you need something? Or were you just wandering around the upper halls looking for something to do?”

“Indeed! I came to ask if you would please speak with my sensei,” Kagami said. “He has been most reluctant to come out of his rooms even after you said you didn’t mind and I was hoping you might tell him so again.”

Madara gave him a dubious look. He’d already said his piece; it wasn’t up to him to make sure the man of the house knew he was allowed to walk around in his own home. Especially not if that man was an honest to god King. Besides that, he had only just seen the creature that morning and had his entire world turned upside down just by learning its name so he wasn’t exactly in a big hurry to go and buddy up for a good conversation at the moment.

Spinning on his heel, Madara cupped the little toy on his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall off and carried both of them back in to his bedroom, crossing over to flop down on the bench where they could both see through the window. As he’d suspected, the view from here looked out over the gardens where Tobirama had managed to wander around and was currently pacing his way between rows of hedges. Kagami left off his braiding and clambered down Madara's arm to press both hands against the cold pane. He looked down at his sensei with painted lips turned down in a sad expression.

“I just saw him,” Madara explained. “I was going to figure out how big this gilded cage really is but I ran in to him at the entrance and he told me how far we can go in every direction. Then I kind of insulted him and left.”

“You insulted him?”

“Well I didn’t mean to! Do you know that no one hads ever bothered to mention his name until now? I didn’t know what to call him and I, er, I almost called him ‘beast’ right to his face.” He screwed up his face when Kagami turned to look at him, shocked. “I know! I know!”

“That must have truly hurt sensei’s feelings.”

Casting his gaze out the window at the forlorn figure wandering through the snow alone, Madara grunted. “Suppose I’ll have to make it up to him or whatever. That’s his whole thing right? The curse? Hashirama said that he saw himself as a monster for what he did during the plague so the witch lady cursed him to look like one. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of that either.”

“If only sensei would stop thinking that way things could go back to how they were,” Kagami said.

Still watching the slow steps and the way the wind pulled carelessly at Tobirama’s wild hair, it took a few seconds for Madara's brain to catch up with that. “What does that mean?”

“That is how sensei could end the curse if only he believed what we all know. The Lady Tsunade told him that if he could look in to a mirror and see himself as a human then all would be as it should. I think that is why he hides himself away. Not because he cannot look at himself but because he cannot look in to the eyes of everyone he believes he has let down by extending this shadow of a life. And the more years pass the more he believes he was right all along, that he has always been a monster.” Kagami let his words trail away in time with his stiff fingers sliding down the pane of glass and Madara finally realized why the odd story-telling cadence of the boy’s speech felt so out of place.

“You’re still trying to get me to go talk to him, aren’t you?”

“Sensei is lonely!” Kagami wailed, turning to fall against his arm and wrap around it with all four limbs. “It has been years since he met anyone new, I beg of you to spend a little time in his presence and help him to see that he is not a monster no matter what face he wears!”

Already frowning, Madara let the crease between his brows deepen a little. “Manipulation is not your strong suit, tiny soldier boy.”

“Does that mean that you will do it?”

“Shut up.”

Izuna returned shortly after that and their conversation turned to other things, mostly introducing his brother to the idea that they were somehow very distantly related to the only child left in the castle. In the end all three of them collectively decided that addressing each other as cousins was probably the easiest way to go.

For a few days after Madara was able to distract Kagami away from the subject whenever it came up, not quite ready to do as he knew he eventually would. His hesitance wasn’t so much out of any desire to stay farther away from his captor but rather it was born out of his utter lack of any idea what to say. How was he meant to convince Tobirama that he was still human inside when Madara himself saw little of that left in him? Of the few times he’d met the other he had seen only anger and a deep abiding sadness. Human qualities for sure but were they enough? Was that all there was to him?

At a certain point he couldn’t avoid it anymore – and Kagami realized he was being put off, which ended in him moping adorably in a corner for an hour, leaving Madara to explain to the others what he had agreed to do. He left the room to seek out the lord of the castle more to escape Hashirama's fire-hazard attempts of an enthusiastic hug than anything else. The dumb candle seemed way too happy about the prospect of everyone getting along together.

Saying he would speak with the lord of the castle and actually doing so were two different things, however, and it proved a little harder to track his quarry down when he didn’t really have any idea where to look. According to Kagami there was no one in the royal apartments. He didn’t really want to go tramping around in the snow but that was really his only other idea. With great reluctance he wandered down to the front hall, thinking that perhaps he might be able to spot the beast from the door again and save himself the trouble of going all the way upstairs to dress in warmer clothes. To his great luck both tasks were unnecessary.

Both him and his host stood rigid with surprise when they almost collided going around a corner. They stood blinking at each other for several seconds before Tobirama snorted and moved to step around him, jolting Madara in to action.

“I was just looking for you,” he said, somehow managing a casual tone.

“Were you?” Tobirama lifted both of his heavy brows and Madara fought the urge to scowl defensively.

“Look, if we’re going to spend an unknown number of years locked together in the same castle then maybe we should get to know each other or something. You can’t hide from me forever. That sounds boring.”

He lifted an eyebrow of his own as if to challenge the half-human standing more than a full foot above him and Tobirama stared back with narrowed eyes, clearly doubting his intentions but not willing to call him out just yet. Quite likely he had also been a victim of Kagami’s pep talks trying to force them to socialize with each other but Madara was willing to bet that Tobirama was too lonely to pass up the opportunity to make a new friend. And also probably too proud to admit that.

“If you think that is best,” Tobirama answered eventually. His words sounded awkward, chewed over and halting, like he wasn’t sure of them but had nothing else to say.

“Right, because you’re obvious super worried about what I think.”

The frown lines on Tobirama’s face deepened with frustration. “Do not look for insult where none was meant. I was agreeing with your proposal.”

“Alright, okay, I can play nice. Go on then.”

“Go-?” To his amusement, Tobirama stared at him with only more frustration. “You were the one who asked me to converse. Why should I be the one who must ‘go on then’?”

“You’re royalty; aren’t you royal types trained in how to socialize and stuff?” Madara asked.

“I do hope you’ll forgive me if my social skills are a bit out of practice after so long without meeting anyone new. One does tend to let one’s propriety slip when the only decent conversationalist around is my own brother. And his wife, of course, but unfortunately Mito and I have not been on good terms for the past decade or thereabouts.” Tobirama wrinkled his nose, the face of a man remembering a wrong he’d committed but wasn’t ready to apologize for.

Sensing a good story behind that, Madara was about to ask for a retelling of whatever Tobirama had done to insult Mito a decade or so ago. Clearly it had nothing to do with their general situation since that had happened more than several decades ago as far as he could tell. Before he could ask, however, the rest of that little speech caught up with his brain and Madara nearly lost his jaw as it fell open.

“Wait. Your brother. Hashirama is your brother!?”

“Yes.”

Reeling back, Madara gripped both sides of his head and stared in to the middle distance. “My whole life is a lie. Oh my god he’s the elder brother in the story. Hashirama caught the plague and then a magic lady saved him but she didn’t save anyone else and you had to – oh damn. Wow.”

Tobirama watched judgmentally but thankfully in silence as Madara went through all the general stages of a mental breakdown. He’d known the story since day one, accepted all of it as true in the meantime, but the story Hashirama and Mito told him just hadn’t felt real until he realized he’d been staring all the characters of it in the face this whole time. Hashirama was the eldest brother, the one who was meant to be king, who had apparently not falling in to the long sleep. And in front of him was Tobirama, doomed to watch his older sibling live out life as an animated candelabra because of mistakes he had made during a reign that was never supposed to be his in the first place.

“Fire and flame,” Madara swore under his breath. “Your life sucks.” He said it without thinking, without aim, so the bark of laughter that sprang out of his companion nearly startled him right out of his skin.

“If you wish to put it in such crass terms, yes.”

“Shit, no, I didn’t mean to bring anything up! Crap. See this is why I don’t talk to anyone either!” If his trousers had pockets Madara would have shoved his hands down deep and hiked up his shoulders uncomfortably. Without pockets he could only fold his arms and pout.

Above him, Tobirama cocked his head to one side with a shadow of what might be translated in to a smile.

“Perhaps the two of us might find some common ground after all,” he said.

“Maybe. Come on, let me drag you back to the kitchen so Hashirama can get all the weepy gratitude out of his system and then we can go sit down somewhere and tell each other our favorite colors or something." Madara beckoned with one hand and was gratified when Tobirama followed placidly, not a hint of kingly pride balking at being told what to do. That was a good sign.

Keeping stride with Tobirama’s massive legs turned out easier said than done and Madara had to power walk for a couple of hallways until his companion rather shamefacedly shortened his steps. As they neared the kitchens he looked down with a hesitant expression.

“You do not actually expect us to make such simplistic conversation as trading favorite colors, do you?”

“If that’s what it takes to make you less grumpy,” Madara declared. “How else am I supposed to get to know you if we don’t ask questions or something?”

“Pray think of something a little more interesting.”

Without thinking Madara rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue, a response he usually reserved for Izuna or Hashirama, the people he actually felt comfortable joking around with knowing he wouldn’t insult them. Then since he couldn’t snap his tongue back in to his face without making himself look even more foolish he did his best to play it off like he was completely comfortable teasing a seven foot cursed king who trapped him here with a magically binding vow. Incredibly, he did not get stomped to death by two sharp hooves.

Somehow his casual attitude seemed to break a little more of the tension between them and as he reached for the door to go face Hashirama together Madara almost smiled, thinking to himself that maybe being locked in a castle with a mythical creature wasn’t quite as terrible as it sounded.

[connoisseuroneup]

Wall Street Journal interview.

1. Where did the idea for the Sopranos shirt come from? How/why did you pick that particular shirt? Firstly, we are massive fans of the show, it still feels relatively fresh in the mind and we have watched it back from start to finish several times now, it just gets better and better. It set a new standard in television, There's a lot of great TV shows out there now, a good chunk are like Hollywood movie productions, a lot of that comes down to just how good and successful the Sopranos was. It seems pretty bizarre to think how old the show is from when it first aired, I had the first half of the series on video, so the spine of the cases sitting on the shelf together made up a portrait of Tony. There's not a week goes by where you don't watch a snippet of the show.

Obviously Tony Soprano is a great character but James Gandolfini was a superb actor and a hero of ours, his untimely passing was really hard to take, but in some strange way added to the whole cult of the show and the man. I didn't know him personally unfortunately but was really devastated when he died, friends of ours even asked us if we were OK. Our friend and regular collaborator Peter O’Toole did a nice illustration of Tony sat in the back of Satriales which is hanging on the wall beside me. 

The original idea just came as a tribute really, we make these bobble hats which have attracted a cult following over the years, we've done many things, the most famous being the one we did based on the Overlook hotel carpet from the Shining, this went crazy for us and many have been inspired by it since, you see that pattern everywhere now. We put the shirt pattern into a hat and then later linked up with Far Afield www.farafield.uk/ , a label who we collaborate with and we agreed to try and replicate the shirt, it worked out really well, a good example of what a collaboration really ought to be, combining forces. They got the pattern spot on, we changed the camp style collar to give it a more contemporary look, but it was a great thing to do. It's an ugly shirt, but it's different to a lot of things on offer out there today, that's always an appeal for us. I think this was probably one of the maddest shirts he wore in the series, or certainly the coolest one. It features quite prominently at the end of Episode 11, series 2 'House Arrest'. The camera pans out outside ‘Satriales’ to the Johnny Thunders song 'You can't put your arms around a memory' it's a perfect moment.

2. Were you all personally inspired by Tony Sopranos' style? If so why? It's a tough question that, a part of me cannot really say yes to that. He wore some really awful clothes in the series, nobody would tell him that though. Polo neck jumpers with the sleeves rolled up, two tone tops, Hawaiian shirts, weird knitted polos and pullovers Alan Partridge would be happy to wear. I think these would be more obscure brands that cost a lot of money, not your familiar names. Real old school menswear shop tackle. In one episode Tony wears a Tabasco polo shirt, it's crazy, I guess it was maybe from when he was playing golf, I'm not a huge fan of the stuff but it was cool, I'd wear one if I could find one, purely to look like Tony. A lot of the time he would be seen in his dressing gown and slippers with baggy boxers and a vest, or the 'wifebeater', then he'd be wearing a summer shirt over his vest which is a cool look, especially with a chain around the neck. Of course there were other times where it was all sharp suits, business, meetings, dinners, going to the races, the casino etc, they all looked dapper there. Then in complete contrast the whole day to day tracksuit/shellsuit thing, which I believe is known as a 'Bensonhurst Tuxedo' this is strangely cool, but hard to pull off, it's purely lounge wear for us in the UK or maybe something you could get away with on a flight or on holiday. It actually works on the larger figures for some reason too, or at least they pull it off. Some characters were cooler than others, I thought Ralph Cifaretto (Joe Pantoliano) was amongst the better dressed, though others may totally disagree, a cold hearted killer can pull off a cravat better than most. Johnny Sack with his Burberry camel coat and then you had Furio in his Napoli training gear. A lot of these were big sweaty blokes so it would have all come down to comfort. A don doesn't wear shorts, remember that? 3. Do you think Tony's style (and the style of the other characters as well) mirrors or influences where men's fashion is at right now? I'm not too sure, men's fashion is still largely dictated by the big brands and labels and what comes next the stuff people want to be seen in, people who need magazines and expensive ad campaigns to tell them what to wear. To me the show's characters are very anti-fashion, obviously bits filter through into the menswear thing, you had Michael Imperioli posing in clothing for Kith when they worked with long standing New York store Bergdorf Goodman, a lot of modern streetwear looks similar, the tracksuits and that stuff, but that could be pointed back to 1980's sportswear too. Wearing a full tracksuit or even just tracksuit pants out of the house was always a bit of a no-no amongst our ilk, it's a lot more acceptable now.

4. How was the shirt received? Were you surprised by that response? It went really well, like pretty much sold out upon the release, it was only sold online by both ourselves and Far Afield but it wasn't tiny numbers. People know they're are buying into something bit mad, a bit different, some would say they loved it but wouldn't be able to pull it off. I think it works well as something for summer, a perfect holiday shirt. Or you can sneak it under a jumper or sweatshirt in the colder months and just have that hint of it. It's one of those that those who will know will get it and many others will just think we've gone mad. That works, you don't want to please everyone. We've never been one for mass appeal.  5. Why do you think all these years later, the show still has resonance? Just so groundbreaking, it was ahead of it's time. It's a very clever and in depth show, you go thought the whole thing again and you pick up things you missed first time around. Certain seasons were stronger than others, but so much of it set a standard, the standard you see today. The music, the language, the violence, it's clever, you look up to these guys in many ways, then it quickly reminds you they are not nice people. I know folk who have never seen it, I always tell them they are really missing out, you can't not get hooked in by it. They are in for a treat, I wish I could watch it all again like that. 6. How would you describe Tony's style? Is there anything about how he dressed that influences how you'd like to dress? The one thing I like about his influence personally, is I too have a pretty crap hairline and a protruding belly, he made that acceptable. He was the main man, he didn't care, nobody could mess with him his style was for him, he also showed signs of insecurity too though, only ever privately. If that leather jacket Richie Aprile gave him still fit he could wear that and nobody would say anything. 7. You mentioned there were plans for more shirts inspired by Tony's shirts, could you elaborate? Yes, we are going to release the second one this summer, fabric tests and swatches were approved a while back. It's the shirt he wears in Season 5 Episode 2 'Rat Pack', he confronts Tony Blundetto (Steve Buscemi) after he mocked his weight in front of everyone. Hard to describe this one, a bit like a Picasso painting, abstract squares, like some 1980's sofa or curtains, but he pulls it off, he always does.

[1d-sexualdesires]

Cupid Harry

“I think I’m in love…”

Or  Harry is Eros (Cupid) and Y/N gets in the way of his job……

it’s really long

It is not often that the gods mingle around humans; as they’ve stopped believing the gods have stopped showing up. The occasional tryst may occur between one of the big twelve olympians and a human, but again, it’s rare. Because of this disbelief, the rules surrounding the interference in human lives have become mere guidelines instead of something to get killed over. So for gods like Harry, also known as Eros, his job gets to be a bit more… hands on. It’s not that he doesn’t love being in Olympus, the perfection and beauty of it really please him, but something about watching people fall in love in such a horrid and cursed place like Earth, brings him the most joy.

He doesn’t want to say that he has the most important job, but he thinks he has the most important job, without love the world would be in even more shambles than it is. So he doesn’t mind it one bit that he’s leant against a tree, watching a young couple leaning in to kiss through his camera. He’d been following the two for a few months and he believed it was time for Marc to say the ‘L’-word to Greg. Greg tended to be a bit more of a skeptic, he noticed. Harry really liked Marc, he was a nice guy who deserved to be happy, so shooting Greg with his arrow would be the least he could do for the guy, guaranteeing a positive response to his impending confession.

Here’s the trick though, the magic arrows he shoots need to penetrate the person when they are looking at whatever it is Eros wants them to fall in love with. So his hearing and eyesight are sharp and he is ready to release as the words leave Marc’s mouth. Currently, to the human eyes it appears as if he’s taking a picture (as the times changed so did his tactics) his finger is right on the button, about to press down, smiling as he hears Marc utter the magic words and Greg’s eyes widen with surprise and suddenly he’s knocked to the ground. His finger has pressed down on the button, but he’s taken a shot into the sky. Suddenly, he hears Marc calling desperately after Greg to come back. But Harry can’t sit up,up, there’s a weight over him and suddenly his cheek is wet and he squints up to see a huge dog panting in his face.

“Oh my god, I am so, so sorry!” He hears and looks up to see the most beautiful girl looming over him. She’s shooing the dog and then extending her hands to help him up. She’s perfect, dare he say that she’s more beautiful than Aphrodite he reckons (he’ll keep that bit to himself because his mom is a very jealous goddess). He just cannot pull him eyes from her, his heart is thumping and he feels warmth and peace and giddiness, and her hands are so soft. He’s so entranced that he’s not even upset about Marc and Greg, he can get them another time. “Are you alright?” she asks, releasing his hands, letting him dust off his pants.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He smiles softly as he looks into her eyes once more. She stands shorter than him, but she still looks fully concerned and then looks down to the dog, it’s a great dane, he’s massive, nearly to her waist and she bends down to grab his leash.

“That’s good to hear, I am terribly sorry. You see, It’s Ares’ first walk in a while and he just got very excited.” Harry burst into laughter, wait ’til Louis heard people were naming big, clumsy dogs after him! His boisterous laugh caused the girl to giggle along with him, she was a bit confused as to why he was laughing, but his laugh was so contagious and he was beautiful. More beautiful than any other person she’d ever seen in her life.  He extends his hand out towards the dog, letting him sniff him before he pets between his ears, and his nails dig into his short fur a bit to scratch at his head.

“He’s a very cute dog.” Harry says sweetly and she smiles.

“Thanks, I’m his walker. I usually bring him here a few times a week, but it’s been a few months. He just got his cast taken off. The big klutz tumbled down the stairs, hit a table and knocked the prized bowling ball trophy onto it. He really is very unlucky, but he’s my favorite customer.” She informed and Harry chuckled. He needed to know more, he’d seen one beautiful human before and he could honestly say that this beautiful, bubbly human had her beat by a long shot.

“Well, I got his name, but I don’t have yours.” Harry said smoothly and her eyes widened like saucers.

“I’m terribly rude, sorry! I’m Y/N, it’s very nice to meet you…” she extends her hand again.

“Harry.” He finishes for her and he grins at her, shaking it gently, “it appears I’m just as rude.” He mumbles and she smiles again. He swears that smile is so bright, it puts Helios to shame.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around, do you go here?” She asked, they were in a university’s botanical garden.

“Yeah, I do.” He lied quickly, “I’m new, just transferred. Do you go here?” She nodded. “Nice, well maybe we’ll see each other around?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, maybe!” She said, unable to tear away from his eyes. They were such a pretty green, almost like an entire forest lived in them, she’d never seen that before. “Well, again I am really sorry for Ares’ behavior, I hope we didn’t ruin your camera.” She said looking down and he almost forgot, his eyes widening as he bent down to pick it up, inspecting it.

“No damage.” He assured her and she looked relieved.

“I should be going, it was very nice to meet you, Harry.” She smiled and he smiled back.

“You as well, Y/N. Bye Ares.” He chuckled, patting the dog’s head one last time before they walked off.

Harry wanted to follow her, invisibly of course, but he had to settle things with Marc and Greg, so he walked further into the garden and became invisible. His wings extended broadly and with a little kick off he was in the air, soaring to Greg’s house. Sure enough, Greg was pacing around, he could see him through the balcony, Harry knows why he has commitment issues… humans are so fragile when it comes to love, but that’s what happens when it’s not true love.

One prick from his arrow and people are helplessly and foolishly in love, but some of the other gods mess with his work. If the human he has struck commits a sin against the person he is in love with, the magic dies. Again, humans are fragile, they can’t resist temptations, it is awful, but seeing them in love, even for just a little makes it all worth it.

Harry is waiting for the perfect moment, he needs to pick up a picture of Marc or something… so he waits for nearly an hour. Greg picks up the photo of him and Marc in Spain, that’s where they fell in lust. The first step, attraction, desire, whatever you want to call it has to come naturally, he can help a smidge, but he works most at step two. Step two is love, if he thinks they’re a good fit, Harry will strike one person, usually the most hurt or insecure one, so that they don’t back away from the opportunity. After he strikes, it is up to the pair to take their love further or keep it stagnant. Greg smiles at the picture of Marc, perfect! Harry, who has an actual bow this time, takes his arrow and sets it in place, pulling back and releasing it, smiling in satisfaction as it pierces Greg’s chest and then fades to nothing. The effects are instantaneous, he grabs his wallet, slips on his shoes and bursts out of his apartment. Harry will help him, he flutters down to ground level and influences a cab driver to pull over right in front of his building. Just then, Greg runs out the door, looking both ways and see’s the cab, he gets in and they take off. Harry follows along, hovering above the vehicle, protecting it, clearing a path until they get to Marc’s house. Greg is pounding at his door and Marc is all teary-eyed when he opens up, but Harry watches as Greg leans in and kisses him hard, stunning Marc, but then he pulls away and whispers that he loves him too, that he loves him so, so much and he’s done his job.

****

Y/N gets home and for some reason, she cannot shake Harry from her mind. He was really something; he was beautiful and so nice. She’s a fine arts major, specializing in sketching and painting and her mind is just image after image of him. She barely says hello to her housemates, Barbie and Oliver, and hurries into her bedroom, scrambling to find a blank piece of paper and begins sketching quickly. Her brows furrow as she tries to recall the little details of his face, but those eyes, those are the first things she can put down. She’d been in her room for about twenty minutes when her door creaks open.

“Are you gonna eat?” Oliver asks, walking over to where she’s hunched over her desk, she hasn’t even bothered to sit down, she was finishing up the details of his lips.

“Not now. I’m busy, Oli.” Y/N grumbles, her hand moving to work on the last bit, defining his jawline. Oli looks down at her work and asks,

“Who’s that?” watching her finish up, inspecting the wispy sketch.

“Some guy Ares knocked over at the park.” She said taking it from the surface of the desk and pinning it at her board, her hands on her hips. “Looks familiar, no?” She asks and Oliver hummed, they both look it over for a while and then Oliver gasped, “What?” Y/N said, jumping slightly.

“I know what he looks like!” Oli said, hurrying out of the room leaving Y/N confused, ready to follow him, but then she heard his steps coming back down the hall and then into her room with a textbook in his hands, paging through it.

“Remember last semester we took that British Art class and there was a shit ton of portrait painters… Ah! Here he is, Hamilton… look. He painted this painting of cupid and psyche.” He said handing her the book and she squinted at the smaller painting and her eyes widened.

“It does resemble him…” she said glancing up to the sketch she had pinned up.

“Your guy looks like the painting of Cupid. There’s another that comes to mind…” Oli said pulling out his phone, typing away at it before showing her another painting, this time by Bouguereau, she put down the book and took his phone, zooming in, “the neck, the jawline, the curls… classic cupid.” Oli chuckled and she smiled.

“Yeah, he’s a full on god. He looked ethereal in person. Do you think the greek gods were real?” She asked, studying the painting’s features and he shook his head.

“It’s called Greek mythology, as in myth, Y/N. Just stories.” He argued.

“Of course they were real!” Barbie input as she joined in inspecting the sketch and then painting. “Twinsies. You’ve found cupid re-incarnated.” She smiled excitedly.

“Classic impressionism, both paintings still inspired by realism, though Bouguereau is more progressive, look at the bright colored veil around psyche.” Y/N mumbles, “It’s a sign I should pursue a realism approach to my senior project.” She hummed happily and Barbie chuckled.

“Please, do it! But only as long as that guy is going to be your model.” She said pointing to the sketch. “You should re-create the cupid-psyche myth!” Barbie cheered and Y/N nodded excitedly.

“Yes, perfect! Now leave me alone, I have to write up a proposal!”

*****

Harry finally was home, the sun was setting over the beautiful Olympian structures, his feet landing on solid gold streets as he made his way to Zeus’ palace. There was a feast tonight for something and he could hear music and chatter from the entrance. Once inside he caught sight of his usual friends, Niall and Louis, who are Dionysus and Ares.

“Hey guys, how’s it going.” Harry said smiling and Niall groaned.

“What’s the point in coming to a party if you can’t fucking drink.” He mumbled in irritation and Harry chuckled.

“Where’s Liam?” Harry asked looking around.

“Had to pay Hades a visit, he should be back soon.” Louis said before taking a drink, smirking in Niall’s face.

“Today I met another Ares.” Harry said to Louis and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Did you now? How rare!”

“Yeah, apparently people are naming their giant, clumsy dogs after you!” He informed and he and Niall burst into laughter. Louis was so easily angered, it was quite amusing, “On the bright side he was a cute dog, with the most beautiful companion, some girl, prettiest thing I’d ever seen!”

“Don’t let your mother hear that, she’ll be dead before she even knows what’s coming.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“that is wise advice…” he grumbled.

“Yeah, it’s best to keep that bit to yourself.” Niall advised.

His mind was a mess just thinking of her, he needed to find her and he would go to the gardens every single day until he ran into her; he just needed to see her again.  

****

Y/N and Ares were walking through the botanical gardens again, her eyes were peeled for Harry, the cupid doppelgänger. Ares was a bit more relaxed now, seeing as he was back on schedule and not deprived of the outside world; Wednesdays were his favorite because he had dog friends who played in the field on those days and Y/N just sat at a bench, watching, making sure he was playing nice. But then she saw him, walking down the path, camera slung over his neck, looking left to right, probably seeking inspiration. She hurried towards him, not bothering to grab her purse or her sandals that she had slipped off while she waited.

“Harry!” She called out and he looked up, smiling wide as he saw her coming up to him.

“Hi, Y/N.” He beamed, he was more than excited to see her. She was the reason he came.

“Can we talk? I know that you don’t know me at all, but I wanted to ask you something?” She asked and he nodded, following her back to her bench, he took a seat beside her and looked into her eyes, waiting for her to speak. “So, I’m a fine arts major and this is my last semester and we all do senior projects, right? Well, I kind of want to do something crazy for mine.” She said, then paused for a moment, “If you’re willing, could you help me with it?” She asked and he grinned.

“Depends what I need to do.” He countered and she giggled.

“Right well…you’ve heard of Eros right? Or Cupid? Whatever you want to call him!” She said and his heart started pounding, had he been found out? But how? After one run in? He nodded none the less, to see where she was going with this. “Well, my friend fed me this crazy idea that you look like the depictions of him. I paint realism, which many people don’t do anymore and I wanted to sort of bring back the style with a modern twist and I was thinking of doing panels based off of the Eros & Psyche myth, are you familiar with it?” She asked and he nodded dumbly almost.

Was he familiar with it? He basically lived it, the myth had been altered, given a happy ending because again, humans are fragile and need hope. Unfortunately, Psyche never woke from her slumber, no matter how much he had tried to wake her. It was the one thing that turned him from a reckless force into the sagacious and responsible being he is now. He had been in love once and it broke him completely, he did his best to prick those who seemed stronger or who deserved love. It had been decades since he had thought of Psyche, but seeing Y/N now, the softness of her eyes and the easy beauty of her face, he saw slight traces of his first ever love.

“Harry…” Y/N hummed, smiling a bit as he seemed to come out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, was just daydreaming.” He said and she smiled.

“No worries, well either way I uh- since you look so much like the depictions would you be interested in being my model?” She asked hopefully, brows furrowed as she waited for a response. “I know you don’t know me well and you won’t even get paid, so you can say no! But you’re just so perfect for it.” She explained and he smiled.

“I’ll do it.” He stated and her eyes went as wide as saucers.

“You will?!” She asked, shocked and he nodded, he loved seeing her smile.

“I will. When do we start?”

****

Naturally, after that day in the park with Harry, Y/N went home and told Barb and Oli that Harry was her model. She was more than excited about Harry agreeing to be her model, she just used one of her previous models as Psyche. Just as planned, the following Wednesday evening Harry and Chloe, her two models were stripping down and posing for the first panel. Y/N had sketched out what she wanted it to look like, so she was just making some adjustments to their positions.

“Your tattoos are cool.” She said to Harry quietly, adjusting his arm a bit and he grinned like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

“They’re not a problem are they?” He inquired and she shook her head.

“S’perfect actually, I’m doing it with a modern twist.” She said and then arranged the veil Chloe was wrapped in, she just went for a white one, Psyche represents the soul, untainted and perfect. Eros is the passion, reckless and spontaneous. After 3 hours and a few ten minute breaks Y/N had the color palette and general shape down. She snapped a quick picture of her two models in pose and then came off of the step ladder and took a few steps back to see the whole picture, it was almost to scale, it was big. “Thank you so much for your time, guys. I really appreciate it! Next session we’ll work on detailing the painting.” She said and the two stretched a bit. Harry was helping Chloe down, whose leg had gone numb and as he was helping Chloe slip on her clothes he started sensing massive amounts of attraction, so he glanced around the room until he saw a young man, standing alongside Y/N, talking to her a bit about her painting, so he tuned in his hearing.

“This is going to be incredible.” The man said and Y/N smiled.

“Thanks, I’m so excited! Choe and Harry work well together, they look really nice together, they both have godlike beauty.” She said and that made Harry smile, but the man interjected.

“Um, so do you…”

“Oh my god, Oli… let’s not, okay?” She said flustered and he grinned.

“Sorry, sorry… anyway, your project is going to put the rest of our class’ to shame. You’re definitely going to get the commission call.” He said and she sighed.

“I hope so, lord knows I need it.”

Harry had finished helping Chloe and tuned out of the conversation that wasn’t his. He now knew that Oli really, really likes Y/N.  He also knows that Y/N really doesn’t like him in the same way, and that there is an endgame to this project. Being commissioned to make art is basically getting paid to paint or draw, or whatever… he wanted Y/N to win, so he was going to call a few favors in with his friends Athena and Apollo when he got home, they owed him. Chloe had said goodbye and he lingered in the studio area, the room was big, but there were three different styles at three different desks and he knew which one belonged to Y/N without even asking.

“I’m guessing this is your station?” He said and she turned quickly, seeing him looking at the sketches and tiny paintings sprawled out. She walked over to him, she was so close he could feel her warmth and smell her perfume, it was sending his heart into a frenzy.

“Yep.” She hummed.

“Raphael fan, eh?” He smiled, picking up a little mock-up of the famous angels and waving it with two fingers.

“Yeah actually, I really like his work. He’s one of the reasons I’m so into realism.” She explained and he hummed.

“He was gay, you know?” Harry muttered as he inspected more of her art.

“It is a speculation.” She argued, “I mean, I believe it, but some cannot come to terms with it.” he chuckled.

“Trust me, he was.” Harry said glancing to her and she giggled.

“How can you be so sure? It’s not like you knew him.” She said and his eyes widened for a bit, he definitely knew him and he was saying too much.

“Uhhh, I’m cupid… I know everything about everyone’s love life.” He said honestly, but smugly because she didn’t necessarily know that and she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Alright then, so what can you tell me about mine?” She challenged, her arms folding over each other and raising a smug eyebrow at him and he grinned.

“I can tell you that your boyfriend doesn’t appreciate me flirting with you.” He said softly and she looked over to the entrance of the room and Oliver walked off quickly.

“Oli is not my boyfriend.” She stated firmly and Harry chuckled.

“Does he know that?”

“He does, but uh… he’s persistent. Wait, did you say you were flirting with me?” She asked smiling, a pink hue coming over her cheeks.

“I did find out if you were single, no?” He said smugly and she bit her lip, nodding.

“Alright…” she hummed, suppressing a smirk.

“Do you want to go get a coffee sometime?” She looked pensive, “I am posing as cupid for at least three more months…” he sang quietly and she giggled.

“I would love to. Also, don’t really like the sound of cupid… Eros is nicer.” She said quietly and he smiled, he liked that name better too.

After Harry left Y/N and Barbie were just squealing about how beautiful Harry was and how he had asked her for coffee. Oliver was rolling his eyes the whole time at the “Cupid-wannabe” as he liked to call Harry.

*****

“Have you been here?” He asked Y/N as they walked up to a little shop.

“I have not… didn’t even know it was here.”

“Well, they have the best coffee you will ever taste, come on.” He said, opening the door for her and letting her in.

He recommended something for her to try and paid for both of them and then led her to a booth, sliding in across from her.

“How’s the background of the first panel going?” He asked.

“I finished early this morning,” she disclosed, “Just need you and Chloe to come back in and do the finishing touches and panel one will be complete!” She said excitedly.

“You are extremely talented, you know? Probably one of the best artists I’ve ever known.” He said sweetly, reaching for her hand and she smiled as he held it in his larger one.

“Because you know so many of them?” She asked and he chuckled.

“More than you can imagine.” He teased and she rolled her eyes playfully. They were interrupted by a waiter who placed their drinks before them and mumbled a quick and polite ‘enjoy’ before slipping away just as quickly as he’d come. His hand moved off of hers and she instantly missed the contact, he was a magnet. After their first session they exchanged numbers and they have not stopped texting each other. Harry got a cell phone just for that, he didn’t get close to many humans and he really didn’t need a cellphone, but he wanted to keep talking to her.

“I love coffee, I can’t believe I had gone ages without it existing. At the first try it became my favorite flavor.” Harry shared enthusiastically after taking a sip from his steaming mug. Y/N caught that whole ‘ages without existing’ thing, it seemed odd to her, but Harry was just a curious person and expressed himself oddly at times.

“I love it, too.” She smiled, tucking the words away to mull over at another time.

“So, what made you want to become an artist?” He asked and while she explained about her dad drawing all the time he listened to how her heart rate picked up when she’d look into his eyes and how the sense of attraction he could pick up so easily seemed to be growing the longer they were together. Her lips looked inviting and smooth, he wanted to kiss her and tell her that she was more beautiful than the stars in the sky and that he also, felt an overwhelming need to be near her. “So why did you agree to be my model?” She asked curiously, “I could’ve been a serial killer or something crazy.” She said and he chuckled, shaking his head at her wild mind.

“Because I wanted to get to know you better.” He admitted.

“Well, I hope you’re getting what you hoped for.” She replied, looking down at her cup and he smiled.

“I definitely am.” He said smiling timidly.

“I  also want to get to know you better.” She said, making his tummy flutter.

“What do you want to know?” He asked and she pursed her lips pensively.

“What’s your biggest fear?” She asked and he bit his lip.

“Falling in love.” He said honestly and she looked shocked.

“Why?” She asked immediately and then shook her head, “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that question.” She interjected and he shook his head.

“It’s because the first time it happened it ended badly and it feels like I hardly healed from it and it has been ages, but if I think about it for a second too long it feels really real.” He whispered and she frowned.

“I’m sorry, Har. Can I call you that?” She asked and he nodded.

“Y’can call me whatever you want, love.” She smiled sweetly at the pet name.

“Well, love is scary but I’d say it’s worth the risk, don’t you think? All the best things in life are.” She pointed out and he smiled at her optimism. Somehow, her fragile human heart had accepted it’s condition, life hurts, it’s tough, but there is beauty in everything. She had a true artist’s soul and he loved it.

“You’re right.” He responded quietly, “It’s worth the risk.”

Quite honestly, Harry had not felt this way about anyone in a hundreds of years. Psyche was also human, maybe he had a soft spot for humans? Who knows, but he knew that he could spend eternity with her and never get tired of her face. After coffee they went to a bookstore and then decided to catch a film. And as they sat there quietly, basically alone in the theater he reached over his arm rest and rested his hand over hers. She looked up at him so quickly, he just smiled tenderly, his skin prickling with chills as her fingers parted a bit, allowing him to slot his own fingers in the gaps. They stayed that way until the movie ended and made the walk to her house in the same manner and when he was saying goodbye the sun was setting and the rays were hitting her perfectly, thanks Helios.

“I really want to kiss you.” She confessed, her eyes seeking his for something and he grinned.

“You can.” He said and she shook her head, looking down to her feet. “Why not?” He asked, tilting her head up, so that their eyes could meet once more.

“I don’t kiss on first dates. Ever. Never have.” She explained and he nodded.

“Alright, well I always do, so…” he said quietly and leaned in, her breathing halted for a moment, but he pressed his lips to her cheek. Her skin was warm and soft, he could only imagine what her lips were like. It seemed like his kiss was searing her skin even when he pulled back, her hand flying up to the little patch of skin, holding her hand over it as her face broke into a blush. “A compromise, yeah?” He offered and she grinned.

“A compromise.” She repeated.

“I’ll text you, yeah?” He asked and she nodded, she felt like she was walking on clouds. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too.” She called after him and soon he was gone and she was pressed against the door, reeling by how much she already liked him.

“We need to talk.” Oli said seriously and she snapped out of her daze.

“Ugh, what is it, Oli?” She asked, toeing her sneakers off.

“It’s about Harry. If that’s even his name!” He said following after her as she headed further into the home, rolling her eyes as she dropped onto her bed waiting for him to say what he needed to say. “Harry Styles doesn’t even exist! He’s not listed, he isn’t a student here… I checked everything!”

“Maybe your hacker friends misspelled his name.” She said and he shook his head.

“No, we tried multiple variations and pseudonyms. He isn’t real.”

“Then who the fuck is he?” She asked sitting up and his eyebrows rose.

“Exactly! Who the hell are you spending time with and letting into our home? What if he’s a criminal?”

“What if he’s in WITSEC and your paranoia tips the real bad people off?” She asked and he rolled his eyes.

“I doubt that’s what this is… he has a British accent, maybe he’s in the mafia or a crime ring!” He speculated and she didn’t want to admit that he was putting doubts in her mind, but he totally was. She trusted him though, something about the way he was made her feel at ease, she didn’t feel afraid or suspicious.

“You need to drop this, Oli. I know that you like me, but this is crazy!” She said and he groaned.

“Fine, but if something bad happens I told you! I warned you.” He seethed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door hard. Y/N was ready for tomorrow, she had two early classes and then got to spend the afternoon with Ares, he seemed to like Harry as much as her at least.

****

Ares had been really hyper today, he was extremely alert and she was having a hard time controlling him as they walked through the gardens. She was only distracted for a moment, she was about to step on her shoe lace when he took off like a bullet. She groaned as she finished tying the knot and running after him, calling out his name as he tore into a section of thick trees.

“Ares!” Y/N called from outside, “fuck me…” she grumbled, they weren’t allowed to go behind the barriers. “Ares!” She tried once more and when he didn’t come out she glanced left to right, no security was in sight so she slipped past the display plaque and the barrier and into the thick trees. It was cold in the shade and as she walked deeper into the wooded area she could hear him barking.

“Ares!” She called, walking further in the direction of his barks. Finally she could see his rear and she sighed in relief. He seemed to be barking up at something, he was on the edge of a clearing. From above the garden made some sort of intricate sun, there were helicopter tours from the city just to see it. But when she arrived beside Ares she glanced up to see some sort of glowing spot in the middle of the air and her eyes widened in fear and curiosity, it started getting larger and larger so she picked up Ares’ leash and tugged on it to get him out, but he was planted firmly and she was too curious to leave. If she died, she died. Suddenly a foot was seen and that turned into a leg and she was about to faint when she saw the body draped in a white toga, a bow in hand and a quiver full of arrows in the other, a large pair of white wings were flapping moderately to ease the being’s landing. When it landed, it turned around at the sound of Ares’ barks and she really fainted when she saw a very familiar, handsome, curly-haired Harry.

“Y/N…” she heard at a distance. “Hey, come on, open those pretty eyes, love.” It was Harry… Harry who she saw coming out of a glowing hole with wings! She sat up all of a sudden making him jump in fear. “Y/N! Thought I lost you there for a moment!” He said excitedly and she was too weak to stand so she rubbed her eyes.

“You’re- you- what the fuck is going on?!” She said loudly and he frowned a bit.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you.” He said quickly and she shook her head.

“I’m going fucking crazy.” She said slapping her own face a bit and he pulled her hand away.

“Stop that, you’re not crazy I’m just-”

“A fucking angel?” She interrupted and his lips twitched up in a half-smile.

“No, actually I’m Eros. Cupid…” he said and her eyes widened in disbelief.

“Do you have a pet dolphin too?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I don’t actually.”

“Jesus…” she mumbled in disbelief, finally standing with his help and pacing around, glancing from him to the ground and to the sky back and forth.

“I think you should sit.”

“I think not.” She quipped back. “Is this real? Am I on drugs? I think I need to call Oliver. Have you kidnapped me?” She asked worried and he hurried to her side.

“No, no please do not call anyone. I shouldn’t reveal myself to people!” He said anxiously and she pulled her hand away from his hold.

“How the hell…”

“If you will calm down I will explain everything.”

“Is that why you were always saying odd things like about coffee not existing?” She asked as he took her shoulders and guided her to sit on a nearby stump. Ares was following her around and planted himself beside her.

“Deities are very real, we’ve been around forever and uh… I happen to be one of them. I uh… Ares ran in to me while I was trying to get these two blokes to commit to each other and I thought you were very pretty and was determined to find you again and here we are.”

“Gods have cell phones?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I ummm, I got one because I wanted to keep talking to you.” he said timidly and her eyes widened.

“You, Eros, the god of desire or love, wanted to talk to me?” She asked and he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I thought you were cute.” He said genuinely and that was very… Harry of him to say and it broke her spell of shock for a moment and she rolled he eyes.

“This is crazy.” She whispered more to herself than him. “Where does all this go when you’re not looking like that?” She asked , making a circle with her hands and smiled.

“The wings retract and I fit clothes into my quiver, I can also be invisible to the human eye.” He said, “Wanna see? Or not see.” He joked and she shook her head quickly.

“No, no, this is… quite extraordinary already.” She said and he smiled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you, but I’m not really supposed to advertise it either.” He said and she nodded in understanding.

“What’s with the accent?” She asked.

“I learned English in Europe, it kind of stuck.” He said and she nodded. A silence fell between them and he was worried that this might change the feelings she had started accumulating towards him. “Was Raphael really gay?” She asked and he nodded. “You’re positive?” She asked.

“He made a move on me.” He answered honestly.

“Did you fuck my idol?!” Y/N asked shocked and he just shrugged, not really being able to suppress the little grin that made it’s way onto his face. “So you actually knew him?”

“Yeah, he was a very kind person.” Harry said, “We were friends, it really sucked when he died.” He said, his tone becoming a bit more soft at the memory.

“This is so fucking weird.” She whispered, planting her face in her hands.

“You’ve done a lot of cursing today.” He pointed out and she scoffed, looking to her feet again. She had ruined her sneakers coming in here looking for Ares.

“I am not sure how to process this…?” She said.

“Do you need space?” He asked and she shrugged. “We can go somewhere and-”

“Wait if you’re Eros then you’re married? Or have a wife technically so nothing can happen.” She said signaling between her and himself and his eyes widened.

“No, no I’m not.” He said quickly and her eyes narrowed.

“I’m painting your fucking love story!” She said loudly and he sighed.

“That is a myth, it didn’t end so happy.” He said and her eyes grew wide in realization, he had told her he was afraid of love. “Let’s go somewhere and talk, please?” He asked and she sighed.

“Will your mother kill me or turn me into a cow? Or make my hair into reptiles?” She asked quickly and he half-chuckled.

“You’re mixing up a few people.” He said amused.

“No, I know that wasn’t all her, but these are all viable possibilities of a punishment.” She said and he rolled his eyes.

She walked off with Ares to allow him to get changed  into normal clothes and soon he was by her side, and Ares followed after him as he walked past her.

“C’mon.”

****

After they dropped Ares off at his home she walked over to her car.

“Where should we go talk?” She asked as they slipped inside.

“Your place?”

“No, Oliver had his hacker friends look into you. I got in an argument with him defending you. Said that he couldn’t find record of you anywhere and all this nonsense, told him that maybe you were WITSEC so he should drop it.” Y/N explained quickly.

“WITSEC?” Harry asked and she nodded.

“In a witness protection program. Actually, I know where we can go.” She said and they took off. She was going to take him to the school studio she had rented for the semester and she was going to draw him in all his glory, it would help her wrap her mind around things.

“What’s this place?” He asked as they walked into the dark building. It was nearing midterms so the building was desolate, people were home studying. Y/N pulled out a key and let them into a small room nearly the size of her bedroom and she locked the door behind them , switching on the light and pulling the blind down over the window that was on the top half of the door.

“This is the university’s art studio, I rented a room for the semester but the panels I’m painting are so big, they don’t fit in here so I had to move home.” She said and he nodded in understanding. He sat on a stool, waiting for her to say something, but she started looking for something in the drawers of a desk in there and she paused and randomly laughed out loud.

“What is it?”

“You laughed when I told you Ares name. You know Ares… I get why you laughed now.” She giggled, wedging a thin, plastic box between her armpit, then bending to pull out a large paper pad from a crevice between the desk and the wall. “Watercolor it will be.” She said and he went to stand, “Stop, don’t move!” She said and he froze.

“Why?”

“Show me.”

“Show you what?” He asked nervously.

“The real you, wings and all.” She said and he looked around as if someone might see. “Give me your things.” She said walking over to him and taking the quiver full of arrows and his bow and setting it on the desk. “Alright, now go on. Flame on or whatever the magic words are.” He rolled his eyes and removed his shirt and jeans, he stayed in his boxer-briefs and cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders back and suddenly his wings expanded. “Ummm, can you angle to your left a little. Just need t’see your face, do what’s comfortable with your legs and hands.” She said and he nodded, getting comfy as she pulled a water bottle from her purse, tossing the cap in the trash and just dipping a brush through the top of it and setting it down while she opened the paint palette and within a few moments she was making strokes on the paper. “Does it hurt when your wings expand?” She asked and he shook his head.

“When they grew in that was the most painful. Like your limbs, they grow as you grow, but when they started coming in I was only a week old, we grow faster… a week would be like… 4 years your time?” He said and she hummed, glancing from her paper to him and back and forth.

“So tell me what happened between you and…”

“Psyche.” He said and she nodded.

“Well, the story is pretty much how it goes, except that my mom basically said she was a cheater for getting help with the tasks and uh, the whole Persephone set up happened, it was a poison that put her into some deep slumber. I tried to convince my mother to just lift the curse, said only real love could do that. I did love her, with my whole heart, but when I tried bringing her back she just wouldn’t wake up.” He was getting quieter and quieter. “I revealed it to someone eventually, but they made it into a happy ending instead. Which is where you humans got the true loves kiss shit… My mother said I didn’t really love her because it didn’t work, which killed me for a long time. She just hates the idea of deities with humans, which is rather hypocritical. Either way, I later found out that Psyche had been killed instantly by the poison; she was only human, she couldn’t handle the things my mother had done to her. A god or even a demigod would have been able to withstand, but uh, she was too fragile.” He finished and when he looked up Y/N wasn’t even painting anymore.

“I’m so sorry.” She said quietly, a frown over her angelic features. He could sense that her heart was heavy and aching for him. Empathy was rare in humans, real, honest empathy.

“I am too, she was a good person. I uh- ever since then I had never felt anything close to what I felt for Psyche until I saw you, looming over me in the garden,” he smiled, “You were just so gorgeous and there was this aura of warmth and light around you that makes me feel not so shitty when you’re close by.” He said and she was nearly in front of him now.

“I feel that way too.” She said softly and he smiled.

“That’s called attraction.” He said quietly as she stood between his legs. Her hand came up to his face, feeling his perfect and warm skin at her fingertips.

“Is this allowed?” She asked and he shrugged.

“Lots of them do it.”

“Do what?”

“See humans. Human relationships might be a little messy, but they were built to care and love. No god or goddess or being in the universe can give love the way a human being can. It’s truly selfless and fulfilling.” He said and she bit her lip.

“So I can kiss you?” She asked and he smiled.

“Of course you can.” He said, hands sliding down to her hips, her breath tickling his lips.

“I won’t melt into a puddle of cells or slime?” She asked, seriously, but exaggerating the outcome.

“No, but I might when I finally get to taste you.” He whispered and she moaned and melded their lips together. She might as well have been a mushy slime of cells on the ground because he was so beautiful and perfect. His lips were addictive, and his taste was so sweet, she moaned as his tongue rolled onto hers. Y/N pushed him off the stool and pressed him towards the desk, they kissed feverishly and moved carelessly and his body rammed against the desk and he pulled back.

“Ow!” He yelped, his hand flying back to touch at his side and he felt it there, she glanced around him and saw as one of his arrows was pierced into his hip and it suddenly faded into nothing. She looked up at him, giggling. Oh, how the tables had turned. He looked into her beautiful eyes with so much adoration.

“I think I’m in love.” He whispered.

[idonthinkyoureadyforinformant]

1

The fluorescent fixture on the ceiling above her head buzzed loudly, and sounded like a fly's futile efforts at escape against a closed window. Age revealed in their darkened ends, the long pair of luminous tubes flickered, and one of the bulbs burned dim orange rather than the bright white of its twin. Someone needed to replace the failing bulb and fix that annoying buzz, Mia thought.

Mia nervously waited in the dingy room, seated in an uncomfortable chair with her hands cuffed behind her back. Her mind raced. Were these handcuffs necessary? Couldn't the police see she was a respectable member of society? How could Josh be so stupid and get them both in this horrible mess? She had warned him about this, but as usual, he didn't listen. She was tired of having to mother him.

Mia loved her husband, Josh, and overlooked his many flaws. He was a talented high school science teacher at a prestigious private school, adored by his students and their parents alike. But Josh had concealed a minor blemish -- up until this point -- to his otherwise flawless portrait of a perfect citizen. Josh liked smoking marijuana a lot. Perhaps too much. With an academic background in botany, he also enjoyed applying his scientific knowledge to cultivating the illegal plant for his personal and recreational use.

While perfectly lawful to do in some states, Josh's activity was a felony punishable by up to 12-years prison where they presently lived. Josh had converted a small walk-in closet in their house into a grow room — the reason why they were both under arrest now, treated like common criminals, and why she was sitting here frightened and alone.

She wondered how the police found out. Did one of Josh's worthless pothead friends get busted and turn him in for a lighter sentence? Was it the helicopter she heard late one evening -- interrupting her peaceful sleep with its blades tearing through the cool night air -- equipped with a snooperscope that saw the heat on their roof from Josh's 1000-watt metal halide light? Maybe their electric consumption gave it away? What difference did it make now anyway? They were already in trouble.

"Wow, this one's a real looker," Detective Sanchez mumbled to her partner as she stared through the two-way mirror at the beautiful 24-year-old suspect she was about to interrogate.

"Yeah, they had eight plants growing hydroponically under a 1000-watt metal halide light. A small, sophisticated operation," the gruff voice of Detective Earl Noyse replied. Only a few ounces of smokable bud seized, but in typical police fashion, roots, stems and even the medium the plants grew in were weighed, greatly inflating the amount and the charges.

The door opened.

Sanchez entered the interrogation room, visually raking the gorgeous blond sitting at the old wooden table. The girl stared back at Sanchez with stunning blue eyes and silky blond hair that flowed past her shoulders in threads of gold as smooth as a sheet of water.

Mia watched the older, rather plain-looking woman walk toward her. Detective Sanchez wore her greying hair up in a tight bun and had what could be described as a slightly weathered, man-like appearance. She held a folder in her hand.

Sanchez slapped the folder down in front of Mia and dragged a wooden chair out from underneath the table. The heavy chair growled in a high-pitchl as it reluctantly slid across the floor.

Sanchez sat in front of Mia, her face an expressionless mask. "Seems like you and Josh have been busy entrepreneurs. Possession, manufacture and distribution of a Schedule I drug carries a pretty stiff penalty."

"I already explained all this to that other detective — Detective Nose."

"Noyse," Sanchez interjected.

Mia rolled her eyes. "Whatever his name is — Josh only grows it for personal use. He only had eight plants. How does that amount to manufacture and distribution?"

"Listen, dearie, we confiscated over 15 pounds of weed from your house. Both you and Josh are looking at felony records and 12 years in prison unless you cooperate."

Mia's voice rose higher with indignation. "There's no way those eight little plants equal 15 pounds. You can't charge us with that! I want to speak with an attorney."

Detective Sanchez was not going to tolerate Mia's uppity attitude. She needed to bring this young girl down a few notches.

Sanchez rose from her chair, her palms remaining flat on the table, her face now red and only inches from Mia as she leaned toward her and yelled. "Listen, sweetheart, you want to speak to an attorney? Fine! But then we're throwing the book at both of you. You can say good bye to each other and to your house, your car, and all those nice things you and Josh have acquired. He'll never work as a teacher again. His career and your futures will be ruined. I'll see to it!"

Mia felt Detective Sanchez' hot breath and spittle blast against her cheeks as the angry detective shouted into her face.

Sanchez sat down, resumed a calm demeanor and continued as if her previous rant never occurred. "Or you can cooperate with us. All of this can go away and your husband, Josh, can continue teaching. Otherwise, you're both looking at lengthy prison time away from each other. It's your choice."

Tears began flowing from Mia's eyes. "What do you mean, 'cooperate'? I don't even smoke marijuana, you can give me a drug test right now. I told Josh not to grow that stuff."

Mia spoke the truth. She very rarely used marijuana. It made her too paranoid and nervous, but Sanchez didn't care and wasn't buying anything Mia said. Bigger fish swam in the ocean of scum and Mia looked like perfect bait to catch them. "We have a big drug problem in this city, which you can help us solve. We know who distributes the drugs, but we need to find sources, who else is involved. We want to bust Reggie Johnson, but first we need to find out who he gets his drugs from."

Mia sniffled. "Who's Reggie Johnson?"

Was this girl serious or was she just playing stupid? How could she not know about Reggie Johnson? Everyone on the street, and part of the drug trade in this city, knew about Reggie Johnson, the high-ranking gangster responsible for murders, heinous crimes, and the area's rich supply of illicit drugs. Detective Sanchez was going to bring him down, and this hot young female was going to help her do it.

Mia's suburban life had sheltered her from the likes of Reggie Johnson. Her anonymity was perfect, and perhaps her ignorance was for the best too.

"Stand up for me," Sanchez barked.

"What?"

"Just do it and turn around."

Mia timidly rose from her chair, with her head down and shoulders hunched over in fear as she turned around.

"Stand straight!"

Mia's back straightened upon command. The baggy sweat pants she wore poorly concealed what could only be described as an incredibly tight and sexy ass from hours she had spent working out at the gym.

"You'll do just fine," Sanchez mumbled to herself as she studied the perfect curves of Mia's beautifully slender figure. She was exactly Reggie Johnson's type — young, white with perky c-cup tits and an hour glass figure; a gorgeous face with big blue eyes and silky blond hair.

*****************

They lived in a well-kept, modest sized home — the only house on a secluded street in an otherwise suburban area populated by soccer moms and dads who coached little league baseball on the weekends for their young children. An ideal place for kids of their own they planned to have soon. The yard was neatly trimmed and heavily shaded by two large oaks that reached over the house like two giant hands about to shake with each other.

Mia stood in the living room. "I have to do it, Josh. I'm sorry, but it's the only way. If I don't do this for them, they'll send us both to jail. You'll lose your job, have a felony record and never teach again. Why didn't you just listen to me? I told you not to grow that stuff and to stop smoking it."

Josh stared at her as she spoke, his face wearing his confusion. At 5' 10" tall and perhaps 145 pounds wet, he was never much of an athlete, his frame best described as wiry. How could the police suddenly send her off as an informant without any preparation? It didn't seem safe or right. "Well, where are you going?"

"I'm not sure," Mia answered. "Detective Sanchez didn't tell me yet."

Above his wire-framed glasses, his eyebrows now knitted together with concern. How could she not know where she was going? "When will you be home?"

Detective Sanchez hadn't told her that yet either. "I don't know."

"You're not sure; you don't know," Josh mimicked. "Well, what can you tell me?"

"Nothing — all Detective Sanchez told me is she needs me to find out about some guy named Ryan or something. I can't remember his name. I was so nervous."

"Oh that's just great. You don't know who this is, where you're going, what you'll be doing, or when you'll be back." Josh sat in his chair, crossed his arms, and pouted like an angry child. "You're not the five-o, Mia."

"I don't want to do it, Josh. But we don't have a choice."

A car horn honked for Mia from their driveway and Josh jumped from his chair.

Mia wrapped her arms around her husband, gave him a big hug and kiss. "Please, Josh, I have to go now. I'll call as soon as I can, but it may be a while. I'm not supposed to contact anyone I know while doing this."

Josh melted in her embrace and returned her hug. "I'm sorry Mia. You're right — this is all my fault. But I didn't mean to do this to us. The laws in this country are so fucked up. You know why they originally illegalized weed back in 1937?"

Mia shook her head.

"They thought black men used it to seduce white women. Isn't that ridiculous? It's all because of racism. And here we are in 2016 suffering the consequences of unjust laws based on bigotry."

The horn honked again.

"Please be careful and call me as soon as you can," Josh added.

Mia tore herself away from him. Josh followed her to the front door, where she grabbed her packed suitcase.

He stood at the doorway and unenthusiastically waved farewell as Mia entered an older Honda Accord Detective Sanchez drove.

***************

A man and woman shouted curse words at each other from the neighboring unit while their baby cried, and the sound of distant sirens drifted through the air.

"I don't want to wear this stuff," Mia complained, pulling down at the short, tightly-fitting mini skirt so it would cover more of her legs. "This is too short and I feel uncomfortable wearing a thong underneath it like this. Please let me put on something else."

"You're either going to do this and get the information I need, or I'll file those charges with the DA. What's it going to be? I'm getting tired of hearing you whine."

Mia didn't like any of this. Sanchez made her share this disgusting rat infested apartment in a bad inner-city neighborhood with some crack whore, and now she made Mia wear this slutty outfit. "Aren't you going to give me a wire or something?"

Sanchez believed Mia and her husband were low-life drug dealers. Small fry perhaps, but not much better than Johnson. Sanchez' only concern for Mia as her informant was in using her to catch Johnson, nothing more. To that end, she was expendable. Mia obviously didn't understand their working relationship yet. "You're an informant, not an undercover cop. Reggie Johnson will likely check you for a bug anyway. That's if you ever get near him. We can't risk him finding out that you're working for us."

"But it's been three days already. Please, I want to see my husband. When can I see Josh? I'm tired of hanging out at that stupid club with all those black men hitting on me all night. How am I supposed to make friends with this Reggie Johnson guy anyway and find out all this stuff for you? I haven't even seen him there yet."

Sanchez squinted her eyes and looked at Mia angrily. "That's your problem. Use your imagination. I'm sure a cute girl like you can put your good looks to use and figure something out, but you better do it quickly. The sooner you do, the sooner you can see Josh. The clock is ticking and you're running out of time. If you don't get me some information soon, I'll have you and Josh prosecuted and sent to prison."

"No, please don't do that. I'll get the information you want..."

While Detective Sanchez prepared Mia, her colleague, Detective Noyse, secretly met with Reggie Johnson.

Steel and glass skyscrapers contained fiery reflections of the setting sun like the surface of a calm sea. From Reggie's penthouse apartment, Noyse gazed out the floor-to-ceiling window at a breathtaking view of the city. "Funny how nice it all looks from way up here. It's only when you're actually on the ground and part of it that the filth and ugliness become apparent, I guess."

"It's on the desk," Reggie replied, finishing his last rep of bench presses. The muscles in his arms and chest looked like they were about to rip through his tight brown skin as he gritted his teeth.

Noyse placed a folder he had brought with him on the desk and picked up the thick envelope Reggie had left there for him. He opened the envelope and briefly thumbed through a stack of hundred-dollar bills it contained before quietly placing it inside his jacket pocket and returning to the view outside the window.

Reggie sat up from gym equipment in the middle of his expansive living room, and used a white towel hanging around his neck to wipe sweat from his face. He glanced at the closing stock prices running across the bottom of an enormous LED TV hung like a picture on the wall. He had made over $800K in the market today, he silently noted, pointing a remote control toward the set. The screen went black. "Anything I need to know?"

His six-pack abs noticeable, Reggie walked to the desk.

Noyse turned from the window. "You might want to look over the contents of that folder carefully. Sanchez is on a high horse again and she's after you and your suppliers. She recruited a new informant we busted a few days ago."

Reggie opened the folder containing Mia Warren's mug shot and arrest record. "Nice," he muttered out loud to himself, the picture less than flattering to Mia, but her beauty apparent to him anyway. He read through her report. "Hmm —married, 24-years-old, and no kids. Busted for growing weed. Tsk-tsk — naughty girl."

"The husband admitted it was his. She seems pretty straight-laced, but you never know these days."

Reggie looked up from the folder. "It's an election year. A sizable contribution to a certain incumbent's re-election campaign should take care of Detective Sanchez' investigation. In the meantime, I gotta check Mrs. Warren out. May wanna tap me some that fine white pussy. Keep that cute little informant preoccupied."

"The husband should appreciate that very much," Detective Noyse dryly replied.

Reggie returned Noyse's sarcasm with a grin. "That's what he gets for breaking the law, cutting into my business — and not doing it very well, I might add."

*************

From across a crowded, dimly lit dance club, her golden blond hair and beautiful skin stood out like headlights on a deserted road at night. Very few Caucasians frequented this establishment, and none of them had ever looked as good as her. Reggie studied how the softer features of her nose, eyes, and mouth accentuated her sharp cheekbones to produce the loveliest face. The tight miniskirt she wore only amplified an equally gorgeous figure that could easily belong to a supermodel and drew unwanted attention from practically every male in the joint.

Unaware of Reggie's presence, Mia stood by the bar watching some black couple dance next to her, the girl obscenely thrusting her pelvis into the guy's leg, oblivious it seemed to all else around her. An offensive rap song blasted, making even the floors and walls vibrate.

Mia hated this place, but Sanchez said this was Reggie Johnson's hangout, although he had not appeared here for the past three nights.

"Damn, you beautiful. Let me buy you a drink," she heard a voice say with a familiar African American accent. She was so tired of hearing that stupid accent and having to tell these ignorant black men that she was not interested. She rolled her eyes up and sighed. She had lost count of how many men had already hit on her this evening. She wanted to get out of this place and be with Josh. There was no way in Hell she would ever cheat on her husband or be with some nasty black guy.

Mia irritatedly turned around to tell whoever it was this time to buzz off and leave her alone.

Her eyes climbed up the muscular stature of an enormous black man, as if trying to find the top of a skyscraper. In the darkness, she somehow missed the monstrous bulge in his pants. She almost blew it, about to tell him to get lost like all the other inferior black men she had encountered this evening, before her eyes finally reached his face.

Mia suddenly realized that the gigantic man speaking to her was Reggie Johnson — the man she had been waiting for. He wore a Polo shirt and a thick gold necklace, grey silk slacks, and an expensive sports jacket. Diamond rings that looked big enough to sink the Titanic adorned his fingers.

Mia nervously forced a smile. Her opportunity finally arrived, yet her mind was blank as to what to say. "Hi," she managed to squeak out.

Reggie looked at the almost empty glass Mia held. "Whatcha drinking?"

Mia was not much of a drinker, and her tumbler contained remnants of ice water — the only substance she ever intended to consume here. But she remembered Detective Sanchez' threats — Josh's career in ruins, criminal records marring their future, 12 years in prison. Little time remained. She needed information about Reggie and his suppliers to give Sanchez. Too much was at stake to let her nerves get in her way now. This was her chance and she could not let it slip away. "I'll have whatever you're drinking."

Reggie turned to the bartender. "A Crown on the rocks for me and this lovely woman. Make 'em doubles".

The bartender briefly raised an eyebrow, thinking he might have misheard Reggie. The only thing Mia had ordered from him the past three nights was ice water. He proceeded to fill two tumblers with ice and generous amounts of the amber liquid without question. "Anything else, Mr. Johnson?"

Reggie gave him a fifty-dollar bill. "Not now. Keep the change."

"Thank you, Mr. Johnson."

Reggie handed Mia the glass. "Come on, let's sit somewhere quiet and talk."

They sat at a small table away from the music. Mia remained incredibly nervous. She quickly forced down the contents of her glass and felt fire form in her stomach.

"Wow, you really slammed that down. I ain't seen many women drink like that. I'll get you another. I don't want to drink by myself."

Mia stared blankly at him a moment as she waited for the fire in her gut to simmer. Although she rarely drank, she possessed the ability to hold her liquor well.

Reggie signaled a nearby server. "Bring my pretty friend here another double of Crown, on the rocks."

Mia began to feel the calming effects of alcohol she just consumed enter her bloodstream. "What's your name?"

"Reggie Johnson — and who, may I inquire, do I have the pleasure of meeting."

"I'm Mia."

"Where you from, Mia? I never seen you 'round here before. No way could I ever miss someone as beautiful as you."

She caught herself from almost fumbling the whole thing by telling him her real address. Mia's nervousness returned. She had forgotten the address where she was staying with the crack whore. "I just moved here — to a place on North 89th Street and Milton Avenue. Do you know the area?"

Ch. 2

[champagnetravels]

Losar

So this weekend here in Nepal was the start of the Tibetan New Year! So happy new year or Losar tashi delek! This past Friday, the 16th, was the first day of the dog year. Technically, Losar (the holiday) lasts for 15 days but the most important days and the ones with all of the celebration are the first three. So i’m going to share what I did with my family to celebrate! Disclaimer I don’t really know why we did everything.

So I’ve only been in Nepal for about two weeks now and I’ve already had a vacation! Because of Losar we had Friday off from class. On Thursday night my family helped me try on some of their old chupas (the black dress thing that I’m wearing in some of the pictures) and there was only one that was long enough on me. It was really fun trying on different undershirts for them to compare colors and tell me what they thought looked best. Eventually, we settled on white even though I liked some of the more colorful shirts better. We also went to this community center type place for dinner with a bunch of other families from the same part of Tibet. We ate tuk pa for dinner which is a soup noodle dish. I had a lot of tuk pa this weekend. There was also this thing called the scapegoat where you put all of your sins/bad luck from the previous year into and then leave it in the street to start fresh for the new year.

The scapegoat deserves it’s own paragraph because there were a lot of parts. When I got to the community center, my aunt took this ball of dough and brushed it on my shoulders and such and then she took a piece of string from the bottom of my pants and told me to squeeze the ball of dough around it. Then I put the dough into this bowl with a figurine of a man in it. Then we ate tuk pa which was made of 9 ingredients and we had to pour some of it into the bowl 9 times. When dinner was over and everyone had done this, the men took the bowl and the figurine to the street to an intersection of three roads. They left it there and had to walk back without looking back. This was all to get rid of all the bad stuff from the year before and start out fresh. I guess in ancient Tibet the scapegoat used to be an actual person that the people would basically beat up, project all their sins onto, and banish from the city. Now it’s a little bit less medieval. 

 That night at 3 A.M., yes folks I mean 3 in the morning, my ama la knocked on the door and invited me into the prayer room/living room to drink chyang (I knew this was going to happen and told them to really bang on the door so that I would wake up because we all know from experience a.k.a. flushing toilets to try to wake me up for Christmas, that I am not one to get out of bed easily). Chyang is this sweet rice beer and served warm. There are also chunks of (I think) cheese or something in the bottom that I did not eat I was afraid of them. I honestly don’t know how to explain the flavor. It was one of those things that wasn’t bad but I didn’t really want a second serving even though my ama la gave it to me anyway. And compared to some other chyang that I tried this one was pretty good. But yea we all got up and sat together and drank chyang for a little bit and then I went back to bed.

In the morning, we got up, put our chupas on, and walked to a nearby monastery. Here, we did this thing where you grab a pinch of Tsapa flour and tossed it in the air three times then ate a little bit of it. Then we went in and offered kataks, or white silk ritual scarves, to a portrait of the Dalai Lama while a bunch of monks were chanting. It was pretty cool, I have to admit. After this, we went to another monastery and did the same thing. Then there was a huge photo-shoot with every possible combination of people you could imagine. We took so many pictures. And they came out great and are really nice to have it was just kind of funny. When we finished all of the photos and catching up with people, we headed home where a lot of the extended family came over. They set up a tarp on the roof/balcony of my apartment and actually started gambling for approximately 5 hours. I had no money or idea what the game was so I just watched and hung out. Then I took an accidental two hour nap, woke up to eat dinner, and played pizza box with a monk (see previous post).

On Saturday, we went to the community center-type place where my family and some others from the same part of Tibet were all celebrating together. Again, there were lots of card games going on and there were a few other SIT students there with their families so we all hung out for a bit. Then I left with the other Americans to go to the monkey temple for the afternoon and then went back to the community center later to have dinner. 

When we got there that night, everyone was singing and dancing. The older women, most of whom were actually born in Tibet (my sisters were both born here in Nepal) were singing a Tibetan song and doing this dance in a circle. The younger women and some men were watching them and following their steps. My host sister said that they don’t know any of the lyrics or the steps by heart, they just follow along. So they were doing this dance around two men who were playing these long guitar-type instruments in the middle of the circle. The steps looked super easy but the song would get faster and faster and they would add in these spins. I tried to do it but was just messing up the flow so I stepped out. This part of the night reminded me a lot of our family gatherings where we end up singing Irish songs and dancing together in the kitchen. It was a very similar vibe. 

On Sunday, I donned my chupa once again and we went to the Tibetan opera. This was a huge yellow tent set up in a schoolyard where there was a performance going on all day. Like only a break for lunch and happening all. day. My sister told me that the performers had gotten there at 6 in the morning to get ready and we got there at 9 and it had just started. The performance took place in the middle and the audience kind of sat in a circle around the tent. It started with some men in masks doing a dance and then women came out and there was a combination of some singing, dancing, and dialogue. It was really cool to watch even though I had no idea what anyone was saying. The costumes were really beautiful and colorful and it was fun to see everyone dance. Apparently the performers grow up being in the opera and learning everything about performing. My sister was telling me that they go to practice every Saturday, pretty much all day. 

Sunday night there was a party at the place where I have classes basically for all the white people/foreigners in Nepal. It was basically a bunch of old white hippies and another SIT program that goes to a bunch of countries and happened to be in Nepal. It ended up being really fun. There was live music and we all danced and hung out until we had to go home (aka when the band went on a break and our curfew was fast approaching). Shockingly really fun but I guess when you’re surrounded by a bunch of ex-hippie western Buddhists the vibe is pretty chill. 

There is something else that I think is worth mentioning. So in the late 50s China invaded Tibet and this led to the Dalai Lama fleeing Tibet followed by something like 100,000 Tibetans in the years immediately after the Dalai Lama went into exile. (for those of you who don’t know, the Dalai Lama is the religious, and political, leader of Tibet/Tibetan Buddhism and is said to be the reincarnation of the boddhisatva of compassion). Most of those Tibetans settled in Nepal and India, hence why this program exists and I am living with a Tibetan family. So I guess that while Nepal is pretty tolerant of different ethnic groups and is actually a pretty multi-ethnic place, there are some issues with the Tibetans, especially since the crazy protests that went on in 2008 and brought a lot of media attention to “the Tibet issue.” So how does this relate to Losar? Well apparently after all of these protests and worldwide media attention, China started giving a ton of money to the Nepali government and started gaining soft power over Nepal as kind of a way to control the portrayal of the Tibet issue. This included an agreement that Nepal would stop any anti-China activity (anti-China wasn’t really ever defined). Well, my sister was telling me that she wasn’t sure if they were going to be able to have the celebration at the opera because of this situation and previous experiences in which the Nepali police shut down large gatherings of Tibetans. This year, the opera was allowed to be held under one condition. There was a stage at the front of the tent where people were offering scarves to a statue of the Buddha. Usually, there is a portrait of the Dalai Lama where the statue of the Buddha was but the police said that the opera could only happen if the portrait was taken down. This may seem like a small thing, but my sister was pissed. It was just kind of a subtle reminder of the situation in Tibet and the control China has over so many things that make it really difficult for Tibetans to live comfortably. To me, it felt like a slap in the face. They left Tibet to escape this kind of cultural suppression and instead still face it in subtle ways that are still violent in some ways. So yea, I just thought that was an interesting aspect of the celebration and served as a reminder that while people have made lives for themselves outside of Tibet, they are still in exile and many of them cannot be with their families during this holiday. For example, my ama la has been trying to get a visa to go see her mother in Tibet before she dies and my sisters have never met their grandmother. It was a wonderful weekend because friends and family all got together to celebrate this fresh start but there is kind of an air of sadness thinking about the possible loss of culture, history, and loved ones. 

[michaelshelbys]

new guy ; michael gray.

The day was dull. The clouds were grey, the sky was hooded, and the rain that it allowed out to seep out drenched the ground to a soggy puddle. It seemed as though the weather perfectly represented your mood of the day as you stormed down the familiar street, heading straight for the same door that you had entered far too many times for your liking within the past week. But, you supposed, with angry eyes and purses lips, that you had signed yourself up for it, and the only person you could blame for it was yourself — though a part of you still did blame the unknown reason as to why you were needed so urgently at the Shelby quarters. The Shelby's, somewhat famous on these parts of the land, had become something of a family to you over the last years of your life. Growing up along with them, right across the road to be precise, had little to do with it, though. It had all started when the most possible feared Shelby brother caught you knocking the living daylights out of a date who had gotten a bit too handsy at your front door, and with a chuckle, he approached your seething figure and congratulated you on your good work. You had smiled, rather proud of yourself, and thanked the man. After that, Thomas Shelby had let his whole family know of you, and ever since that day you had been welcomed into the family with opened arms. A few years on, and there was still days where you wished Tommy hadn't caught you punching that date, due to reasons like this. You didn't very much appreciate a Peaky Blinder banging at your door at six in the morning telling you that you were needed by the Shelby's, especially when you had drank just a little too much alcohol the night before with your friends that weren't Shelby's, but, what could you do? What a Shelby wanted, a Shelby got. So, there you were, shouldering through the entrance to the building and welcoming yourself in with a scowl set on your face, immediately catching the eyes of the few people stood around. "What?" You snapped when they looked for a little bit too long, eyeing your half-assed appearance. "I am aware that I look like a complete mess at the moment, but it is bloody half six in the morning and I would have liked to sleep until at least noon, so excuse me if I don't look like a perfect portrait right now." That had seemed to work well enough as the men quickly looked away, scattering off to do whatever they could find to get away from you. You smirked with pride, and continued on your way to where you assumed you were needed, not even bothering to knock on the door as you did so. "Okay, what the fuck is so bloody important that I'm needed here so early in the morning?" Was your greeting, hands on hips and an annoyed glare on your face. You didn't even seem to notice the unusual figure sat ahead of you, eyes directed at Tommy's. "Well, good morning to you too, love." Came the teasing voice of John Shelby from somewhere beside you, and you snapped your head in the direction of where his voice came, seeing both him and Finn smirking at you with amusement. You replied with a middle finger raised, tired eyes shooting them daggers as Tommy cleared his throat purposely to catch your attention once more. Turning back to him, your eyes landed briefly on the person sat on the chair in front of his desk, your brows furrowing in confusion at the unknown man. "Right, before you had so gracefully interrupted," Tommy began, calm as ever when your scowl set back into place. "We were just welcoming Michael here into the Shelby quarters." Michael. So that was his name, you mused as the man slowly turned around to face you, hazel green eyes meeting your own. You were almost took back by how truly attractive this man was, but you quickly shoved those thoughts away from your mind as you forced a smile upon your lips. "Michael, huh? And who may this Michael boy be, exactly?" You questioned next, smirking at the flash of irritation that shown through his eyes at the word 'boy'. Clearly, he didn't like to be called so, and maybe that's why you found so much humour in the look of annoyance on his pretty face. Oh, you were going to have so much fun with this one, you could already tell. "Michael is our cousin," Arthur was the one to announce so, and your eyebrows rose in shock at the news. You hadn't known the family had a cousin, at least not named Michael, and you pretty much knew everything about the Shelby's. So, where did this new cousin of theirs even come from? Your questions were answered by Tommy, who nodded towards the young man seated, and then looked up to you, smirking slightly at your confused expression. "He's Polly's son; you know, the one she lost when he was just a child." Ah, you thought. Now it made more sense. Nodding slowly, you remembered the times when Polly would speak of her son, the few times she did so in front of you always speaking with such sadness and loss that it made your own heart break. You felt a sudden jolt of happiness for Polly then, you had known she wanted her son back so badly, and now she had gotten that. You had no idea how, of course, but you were happy for her. "Oh," you spoke, eyes fluttering towards the new figure in the room, a small smile on your lips. "And I suppose he's going to work for you here, yeah?" You directed your question to Tommy, who nodded his head in confirmation, blue eyes staring down at his cousin. "That's right," he answered, fiddling around in his pockets before it arose back with a lighter and cigarette in it, quickly lighting one up before he blew the smoke away, looking back to you with ease. "And you're the one who will be showing him around." Did you hear him correctly? You blinked, and then blinked again, and blinked a few times after that. You — out of all the people who worked for him — were to be the one to show this newly found cousin around? You narrowed your eyes, why couldn't the man that came banging at your door at six that morning not show him around? Why couldn't Tommy himself or Arthur or John or Finn or even his own bloody mother not show him around? Why did Tommy send for you? "Me?" You asked, as if to make sure, and at Tommy's nod, your mouth dropped. "Me? Why me? Why can't you do it, or he do it, or he do it or —" "Am I really that bad to be around?" The voice was new and unfamiliar to your ears, and you turned towards it with a deep down settled on your features. It was Michael who had spoken, a look of false offence in his eyes as they glanced up to you, a smirk painted on his pink lips. "You don't even know me, how do you know that I'm not a delight?" John and Finn's cackles filled the room, and for the briefest of moments you were left dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing, resembling a fish out of water as you stood there, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as he continued to stare at you. Finally, you broke yourself from your few moments of silence, and narrowed your eyes down at the man, arms moving to fold over your chest; you pretending that you didn't notice as his eyes followed the movement and lingered around the area, you were far too tired and irritated to care anyways. "Call it a hunch," you responded with equal amount of sarcasm dripping from your tone as his did, if not more. He looked to you, amusement in his green eyes as you stared right back, neither of you breaking contact and daring to lose this challenge you had both silently created over the span of a few minutes. Tommy cleared his throat, and you could hear the slightly amused tone in his voice as he spoke, "Well, this should be certainly fun." ___________________ And so it went, your days from then onwards were spent the same. You would wake up, get ready, and walk to the Shelby quarters. There, you would run in to Michael, who had only gotten worse over the course of days he had been working there, and you two would spend your time doing the same thing you always found yourselves doing — arguing. You felt almost bad, not getting along with Polly's son who she clearly loved and adored with every fibre in her, but you couldn't help the immense irritation he sent through you whenever you spoke, especially when his words seemed only to be snarks and insults thrown your way. But, you had always thrown (if not worse) more at him right back, and so your game went on. It was an unspoken challenge between the two of you, neither of you giving up nor wanting to, as the days went by. Your arguments, no matter how petty, would always end the same — with the both of you stood so close you could describe every feature on his stupidly attractive face perfectly, both red and panting from your words before someone, usually John, would break the tension and make a joke about how you two should just 'get it on with already'. That would end up with you both screaming at him and then leaving the opposite way from each other, though you both always stayed on the others mind for the rest of the day until another argument would spark up between you. It had been weeks now, possibly months, and nothing had changed. Except for one thing, the way you had begun to notice more things about Michael fucking Gray. You had began to notice every little thing, from the way his forehead creased in concentration when he didn't understand something to the way he would look at you when he thought you weren't looking or wouldn't notice, but you had. Of course you had, you could always tell when he was looking at you, the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach when you felt his gaze on you and the heat you felt when his eyes would linger at a place where they shouldn't be, you always knew. And you hated it, because you did not want to feel that way about Michael. At least, that's what you told yourself when you begin to think about how nice it would feel to have his lips on yours. You sighed heavily, sat at your desk with your head in your hands, frustrated at your own thoughts that always seemed to creep up onto you at the most unexpected times. You did not want to think about Michael when you were trying to do maths, for fuck sake! "Oi," the sudden call caught your attention, and you looked up to where John was approaching you, Finn trailing behind and the person you definitely didn't want to see following close behind. You shook your nerves off, though, and held your head high as the three men made a stop at your desk, you purposely avoiding the eyes of Michael who was staring intently at your face. Ignore the feelings, you told yourself in your head. Ignore the fucking feelings. "May I help you?" You directed your words at John, who was fiddling with something on your desk absentmindedly, a toothpick between his teeth. Finn snorted from behind him, sending you a small smile when you glanced to him to which you gave back, continuing to ignore the other male stood there. "Yeah," John was speaking, laughing when he avoided your swatting hands away from the object he was playing formally playing with. "Me and these fuckers are going for a pint, and lover-boy over there fucking insisted that we ask you along." The proclaimed 'lover-boy' just happened to be Michael, and you tried to stop your cheeks from heating up into a dark blush, noting the glare he sent towards an oblivious John. It almost made you smile, but you had fortunately saved yourself from doing so. "I think I'm alright for now, boys," saying this, you sent a purpose look to Michael, who rolled his eyes at the wording, but still held a smirk upon his lips. "Thanks for asking so kindly, though." John and Finn seemed to take that as the only and final answer, and the two brothers waved to you as they headed off, John throwing a 'See ya, love' over his shoulder as they left. That only left Michael, who hung around your desk still, hands shoved deep into his trousers pockets. You sent him a confused glare, eyebrows furrowed as he continued to just stand there and look at you and say absolutely nothing. You were growing impatient, and he could tell, his smirk widening when you finally snapped. "What is it, Gray?" "Why aren't you coming?" He answered with a question of his own, and it almost felt nice, to have him question why you weren't tagging along with them, maybe you could pretend that he actually cared as to why you were not. But even your exhausted state of mind, you knew that was silly to think so. "Why do you care?" You questioned next, watching as his amused expression only grew, much to your annoyance. Couldn't he just leave you be and go out and get drunk and possibly fuck some girl? Okay, ow. You had no idea why that last thought hurt so much, but it did, and you didn't like it. Why would you care if Michael did fuck some other girl? It was none of your business. Yeah. It had nothing to do with you. "Who said I cared?" Michael spoke, and you knew that he didn't mean to hurt you, no matter how much you argued with each other, you knew that Michael was admittedly to good of a guy to actually hurt you intentionally. But, somehow, he had managed to with just that one sentence. And you fucking hated it, you despised it, actually. So maybe he wasn't expecting the pissed off look from you next, and he certainly wasn't expecting you standing up from your chair and glaring darkly at him, jaw clenching and eye slightly twitching. Michael watched as you rose your hands, and for a brief second he was expecting a blow to his face, but you had only ran them through your hair, sighing deeply as you did so. "Just leave, Michael." You told him, having no bloody clue what else to say. You hated how he hurt you, and you hated how you cared. When had you started caring so much about him? You had no idea, but you guessed it was somewhere between all the petty arguments and scoffs and eye rolls and glares you shared so much. As you spoke those words, Michael was left speechless, confused as to why you hadn't even bothered to fire back a comment at him. That wasn't like you, not at all, and he found himself mad at whoever had made you so exhausted and tired that you couldn't even argue with him anymore — little did he know that it was actually himself. "Oi, Michael! You comin' or not?" John called out suddenly, and Michael turned to look at him, seeing him dressed in his coat, hat on and ready to leave the building. He opened his mouth to respond, but turned back to you instead; only, you were no longer stood there, and Michael was staring at an empty space. "Uh, yeah. I'm comin'." ___________________ You had ended up home, soaked to the bone with rain as you had forgotten your bloody coat in the hurry to make it away from Michael and out the back door, which was how you were shivering so much when you had finally arrived home, making a beeline straight towards the fireplace. It had been a few hours, and you had to guess that Michael had left with Finn and John for their drink, and all you could do was imagine them stood around the Garrsion, pints in hand and ladies hanging on their arm. You scowled, and mentally punched yourself for thinking as you were. You didn't care if Michael was with some pretty woman, you tried to tell yourself. After all, it was only more bate for you to tease him the next day, you chanted in your head. But for some reason, you really didn't feel like teasing Michael about some woman. You only liked it when people teased Michael about you, the blush that would spread on his cheeks and the stuttering that would leave his mouth making you giggle uncontrollably as he glared playfully at you. Oh, for fucks sake. You needed to stop thinking like this. A sudden knock interrupted your thoughts, and you sighed as you made your way to the door of your home, fiddling with the locks from the few alcoholic drinks you had allowed yourself to have in order to erase thoughts about Michael from your head, managing to open the door finally, catching the familiar green eyes stood on the opposite side. You glared at him, not in the mood to talk or even look at him for more than a few seconds. He looked too attractive, stood with his cap on, clothing sticking to his body from the never-ending rain that continued to flow from the sky, a few drops rolling down his face and into his eyes as he looked down at you. "What are you doing here?" You practically grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, fully aware and no longer pretending not to notice the way his eyes carefully followed the movements. "I thought you would still be out, chatting up some bird down at the Garrison." Michael blinked. And then he smiled, a smile of which looked as if he knew something you didn't, a secret that you hadn't been revealed to yet, a smile that you wished to slap right off his face. What was he even smiling about? "You're jealous," he suddenly spoke, and you looked to him in confusion, nose wrinkling as it did when you got confused. Jealous, you thought, jealous of what? He answered that unspoken question next. "Of me possibly talking to other girls, you're jealous of that. It makes so much sense now!" You looked at him, displeased at his comment. Scoffing, you shook your head, rolling your eyes at his satisfied smirk. "I can assure you, Michael, I am not jealous of whatever poor girl you choose to speak to." You noted with a mental cringe, that your words sounded as if you were trying to convince even yourself. Ugh, stupid feelings. "If you're not jealous, than what was all that about back at work, huh?" Okay, he may have got you there. "Why didn't you come out for a drink with us? Was it because you just couldn't bare the mere thought of me interacting with a woman that wasn't yourself?" He was smug, that much you knew. He had you trapped, not only in reality but mentally too. He was getting in your head, you told yourself. Of course you weren't jealous, you didn't tag along with them because you were tired and just wanted sleep, you spoke in your mind. Yes, that was it. "It seems that you have the wrong idea, Michael." He hadn't — you both knew, but you would never admit it. "I'm sorry that you not getting any is making you think such obscene things like me being jealous of you pathetically trying to talk up some bird in a pub." He squinted, you smirked. "Right, right. So, you're not jealous, at all?" He asked, words slow. You shook your head and forced out a laugh. "Of course not!" "And you're sure?" You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Michael. I'm sure I'm not jealous." "So, you wouldn't care if I talked to them?" "Not at all." "And you wouldn't care if I touched them?" You gulped. "No." He leaned in closer. "You wouldn't even care if I kissed them?" He dared. You tried not to focus on his lips and how close they were to your own. Oh, he was a little shit. "No, Michael. I don't care who you kiss." A lie. He smirked. "Good. So you wouldn't care if I —" And then his lips were on yours. Soft but commanding. Demanding yet gentle. You were in a state of shock, your mind going crazy with thoughts about 'was he really kissing you right now?'. Your ears buzzed, your eyes widened, and your body went still. Michael fucking Gray was kissing you. He was kissing you. It seemed to finally sink in; your arms moved, resting around his neck and pulling him closer, bodies touching and lips moving so perfectly together you were in bliss. A kiss had never felt so good, so nice, so right, before your lips had met Michael's. You thought, these were the lips you wanted only to touch yours from then on. You pulled apart breathless, panting and grinning, and you realised that he had pushed you up against the door during your affair, and you blushed as he looked down upon you. Michael grinned. "So, you still don't care?" You returned it. "Would you kiss me again if I said no?" He did kiss you again. Over and over. Multiple times, all over your body until you both lay in your bed, your head rested on his chest and listening closely to his beating heart. Your fingers circled around his, his free hand reaching up to play with your hair, and you hummed, content with his body pressed against yours. "You know, the day we met I told Tommy I would either end up killing you or fucking you." "Oh? Well, it seems that I've won here, considering you're laying on me right now." "I don't know, if you still manage to piss me off so much than maybe I'll just end up doing both." "Wow, I feel the love." "You should." "I am." "Good." "Good."

[rue-by-another-name]

“Home remedies” - h.s. Part 7

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

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“Life, if anything, is nothing more than a series of moments captured frame for frame as our eyes take in those around us and impact us monumentally,” Harry said, attempting to not sound like he was reading from a card but you knew he totally hadn’t memorized the whole speech completely. You couldn’t help but smirk as you leaned back in your seat and just let it happen.

He’d been keeping the speech a secret from you for weeks. You knew he was presenting and you’d come to terms with that, but you had been nervous for whatever flowery declaration of love he may attempt to pepper into the whole thing. But he was doing a pretty good job, and so far you weren’t as embarrassed as you thought you’d be. 

“That’s why photography is so important though, right?” Harry continued, “Because we have so many moments during the day that cause so many different emotions, that we oftentimes look over the most important ones. I know, that with two kids, the little moments can sometimes go unnoticed. But that’s what photography does for us - it allows us to ponder and remember on those little moments that may have passed up by, that make us feel something we didn’t know we possessed, and to help us give thanks for the moments we’ve cherished with others.”

Okay, so maybe now you were crying a little bit, but you weren’t going to let the small tears show as you continued to slouch slightly in your chair, your arms crossed lazily over your stomach as you attempted to act as cool as a cucumber. 

Internally though, you were freaking out.

“So it is my greatest pleasure and, I must admit, extreme bragging rights, that I can present the British Photographic Portrait Award to my wife, Y/N Styles.”

The room erupted in applause as you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as Harry giddily waggled the award in front of you as you made your way up to the stage. “You did it!” Harry gleefully handed the award over to you, giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, since a real kiss would probably be unprofessional, and squeezing your hand before standing off to the side as you cleared your throat and took your place behind the podium.

“Wow,” you sighed and looked down at the trophy. “What were you hoping that introduction would get you, sweetheart?” you turned to give Harry a childish smile as the audience all shared a laugh as Harry winked at you. Turning back to the mike, you grasped your award tightly in your hands.

“I think Mr. Styles over there did a pretty good job of summing up why it is we photographers do what we do,” you shrugged, “You kind of stole my speech, babe.”

Again the room rippled with laughter as you attempted to not smile so widely your face would split. “But, I mean, every photographer is different. That’s what’s so great about the art of photography. Some of us find more comfort in the company of faces and expressions, while others go out and capture the most beautiful landscapes and scenery that make them feel content with life. That’s what’s so great about photography. I will never get over that.”

You sighed and held the award close to your chest. “I’ve been doing this for a long time, it seems, and each time I am told I’m doing a good job, I’ve done a great shoot or taken a good picture, I always go back to that first time I was in Harry’s backyard unsure of whether or not the picture I had attempted to take on the disposable camera had taken. It wasn’t like the cameras I have now, of course, where they instantly upload to my laptop and I can start editing them however I like. Whatever picture I took, that was the picture I got and I didn’t even get to see it unless I went and got it developed. Most of what was so great about the picture relied on the memory.”

You felt tears fast approaching as you cleared your throat. “But that picture was so wonderful because it was just pure happiness and experimentation with a new contraption. That’s all photography is - experimentation and determination to capture something you don’t know. This award may have my name on it all shiny on the front and thankfully not spelled wrong like basically ever marks card I got in school, but this award stands for so much more. I didn’t start my photography career under my own name. That’s not what photography is about. It’s about what’s on the other side of the lens. And so I’m dedicating this award to all the photographers out there who feel like they aren’t just quite getting it right, because I’m still feeling that way and here I am. So keep trying, keep experiencing life and taking your camera along with you. I’d like to thank my husband, family, and friends for letting me shove my camera in their faces. I’d like to thank my kids for not breaking my lenses as much as I thought small children would, and I’d like to thank my colleagues for always pushing me to take one more picture, try one more angle, and always smiling on the other side of the lens. Thank you.”

The speech was totally out of your ass and you hadn’t planned on saying anything tonight, but you figured it was pretty good as Harry gave you another kiss on your cheek and the young lady in her nice dress showed you two off stage. It had been a while since you and Harry had gone out all fancy like this. His last movie had been over a year ago, and kids kept you busy. But seeing him in his tux, all fancy and looking quite nice for a 38 year-old successful and happy man made your heart soar. Not the mention, you felt hot in this dress.

“You were lovely,” Harry commented, pulling you into his arms and giving you a quick and proper kiss before holding you tightly in a hug. 

“Oh it was all over the place,” you sighed, “But I hope it meant something to someone.”

“It meant something to me.”

“That’s all we can hope for then.”

It hadn’t taken long before your anonymity had come to the surface once you and Harry had officially come out as a couple. People were confused as to who the hell you even were at first, until multiple pictures mysteriously appeared from your childhood and teen years to prompt stories and explanations as to why Harry was so ridiculously obsessed with you so suddenly. 

And with your name out in the open, your photography business flourished. You were given the credit you deserved for the work you’d done, and the photography world was so excited to finally put a name to the face of the photographer people had been obsessing over for the past couple years that hardly any haters could break through the walls of compliments and fascination. 

Sure, Harry had been a little miffed that your first published piece under your real name to make it into a museum was a picture of you and your ex-boyfriend, but that one piece was followed by many more that Harry had been present for and he couldn’t really complain considering you would come home to him every day and vice versa. Plus, it really was a good picture.

You sold Kat your flat. It was kind of ridiculous to think that you and Harry wouldn’t move in together. You simple just packed all your stuff up and set up shop in his house, where the two of you were still living today. Plus, it kept Kat close to the both of you, which you enjoyed considering your kids liked her so much. 

That was, of course, when she wasn’t being a successful, high paid and internationally acclaimed actress or whatever. She was doing rather well, and though things hadn’t quite worked out with that producer she’d had a crush on, she’d still found Charles, who you found far more attractive and nice anyway. 

“Oh Jesus,” you mumbled, clutching your coat around you tighter as you and Harry made your way out of the National Gallery in London that night. It was getting much colder and far more frigid as the holidays approached. You were two weeks away from Christmas, and Mari would be off school soon meaning your house would be much more rambunctious with the approaching holidays. 

“I told you that you’d want a thicker coat,” Harry chided, opening the car door for you as the two of you slid in and the driver started making his way towards your house. “But no, it didn’t go with your dress.”

“The walk was literally not even a minute long,” you rolled your eyes, “Don’t be dramatic.”

Harry sighed and leaned back, looking over at you for a moment before mumbling, “C’mere.”

You scooted across the seat, nuzzling against Harry’s warm body as the car smoothly made it’s way down a street, the city lights flashing past you as you took in the scent of Harry and the lingering smell of the outdoors.

“We need to put up the tree tomorrow,” you sighed, wanting desperately to rub your face but you stopped yourself considering the amount of makeup that had been applied hours earlier. Harry groaned. 

“It’s going to take ages,” he sighed, “Mari is going to get frustrated because she can’t help decorate, and God knows Teddy is going to be a babbling mess the entire time and won’t even let us do anything for more than five minutes without having to give him all our attention.”

“That’s why your mum is visiting,” you yawned, “We should just make her do it.”

“No. She’d have a proper fit if we didn’t all put the tree up and decorate like a family.”

You sighed, “We sound so old.”

“We aren’t old.”

“But we sound it.”

And you really weren’t that old at all. Within the year of seeing Harry once again, you’d been engaged. You’d been married a year later at 28, and then had your first child at 32. You were now both 38, and you had a six year old smarty pants and a two year old squawking toddler who demanded attention every chance he got. You weren’t old physically, but you felt as though you’d lived an entire lifetime. 

“I think we’re doing quite alright though love, don’t you think?” Harry asked, looking down at you and brushing the hair from your face aside as you looked up and regarded his warm and welcoming face. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “We’re doing quite alright.”

Upon returning home, you found that of course neither of your kids were in bed. It wasn’t honestly that late, around 11, but for two small children it was merely ridiculous. Mari slid into the foyer in her sock and little pajamas, her eyes lit up with probably remnants of cookies and sweets as Teddy waddled in excitedly after her. 

“Mummaaaaa!” he screamed, gunning straight for you as you lifted him up and he nearly slapped Harry in the face, “Daddy!”

“Shouldn’t you two be in bed?” you tutted, nipping at Teddy’s little nose as he giggled and squirmed in your arms. 

Mari rolled her eyes and flashed her hands quickly, Gran said we could stay up and watch your speech. 

It had been a sad day to find out upon your daughter’s birth that she was mute. It surely wasn’t something you nor Harry had ever expected, and you knew that part of Harry was crushed that he couldn’t share any of his lyrical gifts with his first born. But Mari was far smarter than the two of you had been at her age, and nothing was holding her back. You and Harry had quickly applied to start learning sign language, and many of your friends and family had joined in as well. Mari was at no loss of people to talk with, and her hearing was immaculate, so you felt lucky and blessed to know she could still hear her father sing her to sleep whenever she wished. 

“Oh Gran said that did she?” Harry asked, “I bet you also begged a bit, huh?” he raised an eyebrow and Mari gave him a challenging look.

Your speech was okay too Dad. 

This made Harry laugh, scooping her petit little frame up into his arms and attacking her face with kisses. “Thank you poppet,” he smiled, “Feels good to be recognized for my talents.”

Anne came tiredly out of the living room, the sound of the news on lightly in the background as she smiled at the four of you. “Even if I hadn’t said it was okay, I’m sure they would have found their way down here.”

“I’ll put them to bed,” Harry volunteered. He placed Mari down as she raced up the stairs, Teddy’s already sleepy body falling into his arms as you took off your coat and took his to hang them up. 

“You both did wonderfully tonight,” Anne smiled and brushed some hair from your face. “And you look lovely.”

“Thank you,” you yawned, “I hope I looked far more awake than I actually feel.”

“You were nothing but graceful dear,” Anne smiled, “Would you like some tea?”

“Please,” you nodded as you followed your mother-in-law towards the kitchen. Anne, and the rest of the Styles family, had been nothing but inclusive when you came back into Harry’s life as more than his childhood friend. Though Gemma continued to stand by the fact that she knew you would end up together, everyone had been pleasantly surprised to the point that Anne had been in tears she was so excited. You had received nothing but love and support from the family as you officially became part of it, and you couldn’t be more grateful. 

“We’ll put the tree up tomorrow,” you informed Anne as the two of you sat at the kitchen island. “Harry and I are not quite looking forward to it, but we know how much it all means to the kids. Plus, what’s Christmas without a tree?”

“I give you both about three more years before you start getting a fake one that you put together each year,” Anne smirked, “You’re both so lazy.”

“Hey now,” you tsked, “I’ve put a tree up now twice pregnant, so I feel as though I’ve done my time.”

Anne laughed, “Your kids are so wonderful. So sweet and loving. They take care of each other so well.”

“If there’s anything we’ve taught them, it’s to love one another. Mari has great friends from school, and she’s a very loving person, but family always comes first. I can’t help but always think what if ... you know ... what if Harry and I weren’t here for them one day?”

Anne’s hand found yours rather quickly as she gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know you think often of what it was like growing up without parents. You’re a strong woman, Y/N, but we all have our weaknesses, our flaws. But you and Harry are some of the best parents I’ve ever witnessed, and you’re doing everything right. Even if, God forbid, you and Harry weren’t around one day I know that Mari and Teddy are going to be cared for not only by each other, but from so many other loved ones that are here to watch them grow up and give them whatever they need.”

You nodded, “I know that. It’s just sometimes hard to not wonder.”

“I understand,” Anne leaned in and gave you a hug. “Now you’ve both had a long night. Why don't you go and get out of that dress and get some rest.”

“Thank you Anne,” you smiled tiredly, “I’m glad you’re visited.”

“It does get lonely when Robin travels,” Anne sighs, “I can’t express how grateful I am for how open your house always is.”

“Oh believe me,” you chuckled, “If you hadn’t been here all the times you were, this house might not be here anymore. It could have easily burned down or Teddy might have blown it up at some point, if not Harry.”

You both laughed and said goodnight, before you were lying on your bed, face washed free of makeup and dress discarded on the floor. You heard Harry walk into your room and grunting at the sight of you in nothing but your strapless bra and thong. 

“Don’t tempt me woman,” he threatened half-heartedly, squeezing your bum on his way to the closet to hang his jacket. He picked up your dress on the way, stretching once he stood back up. 

“‘M too tired anyway,” you grumbled against your pillow. You felt Harry’s warm fingers unclasp your bra and nudge for you to sit up. You did so, reaching your arms up as he pulled your pajama shirt over your head and tossing your bra aside. 

“And muh mum’s here,” Harry sighed, “Still.” He curled up next to you, pulling you into his body as you both let out yawns to show just how tired you both were. 

“I’ll go pick up the tree tomorrow,” Harry mumbled against your back, his forehead pressed between your shoulder blades. 

“I have to go into the office for a bit. Got to get some things in order before I can take off.”

Harry groaned but didn’t protest as you both slowly started to fall asleep. “Luh ya,” he mumbled right as sleep started to take him under. You grunted back words you were pretty sure equaled the phrase, but you were both too tired to think as you slowly slipped into unconsciousness. 

Come the morning, Harry was up and making breakfast for the kids as you took a shower and got ready for a morning of work. 

You look nice Mummy, Mari signed as you made your way into the kitchen, heels in one hand and a stack of papers in other. 

“Thanks darling,” you kissed the top of her head before doing the same to Teddy and then walking around the kitchen table, pressing your body against Harry’s and giving him a kiss. 

“I’ll be back after lunch,” you promised, using Harry’s forearm to steady your balance as you put on your shoes. “Call if you need anything.”

“We’ll have fun picking out the tree, huh guys?” Harry asked and the kids nodded, Mari signing that she was excited as Teddy clapped his hands. You reached over to get a mug of coffee, smelling the bacon sizzling and gagging slightly. 

“Oh God,” you groaned, clutching your stomach as you felt the nausea overtake you for a moment. “Oh no thanks.”

“You alright love?” Harry asked, furrowing his eyebrows and grasping your upper arm as you leaned against the kitchen sink. “Still feeling ill?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “Just felt sick there for a moment. I really need to get some more sleep.”

You felt ill when you didn’t sleep well, and with the awards ceremony and some of your work that had been keeping you up, you hadn’t been sleeping well in the past couple weeks. Harry regarded you for a moment before using his Daddy voice on you as if you were a child, “If you don’t think you’ve gotten enough sleep and you aren’t feeling well, you shouldn’t go into work.”

“I’ll be fine,” you rolled your eyes, “I’m only staying until lunch. I’ll be back probably around one.” You started to walk towards the door when Harry caught up with you and grasped your arm, turning you towards him and pressing his fingertips against your temple, brushing your hair away.

“Babe, you haven’t been feeling well for about a month now. Don't you think we should maybe get you checked out?” he asked softly. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, really H. I promise,” you gave him a reassuring smile and reached up on your tiptoes to give him a kiss on his forehead. “If this was something I was worried about, I would act on it. I’m just tired. The holidays are going to be good for us; I’ll get some sleep and feel better. I’m just worn down.”

“Then don’t go to work,” Harry pleaded, “Just stay here with us. Go back to bed. You’re working yourself exhausted love, and I’m exhausting myself worrying about you.”

“It’s cute that you care this much,” you squeezed his hand.

“Well, we are married,” he chuckled.

“I’m all good,” you nodded, “Promise. I’ll be back later this afternoon, okay?”

Harry sighed, “Have a good day at work.” You gave him one more kiss before grabbing your bag again and squeezing his hand. 

You left with a wave to Anne as she came down the stairs and you made your way out into the cold brisk morning London greeted you with. The office was humming with energy as photographers bustled around to get their last minute work done before many of them were going on vacation. 

You still worked for Ellis & Co., but you were now the CEO and a senior photographer. Getting a photo shoot with you was like being interviewed by Oprah at this point, and though you still liked to pretend you weren’t as celebrated as you were, you enjoyed the large office and assistants that came with your rising power.

“You looked hot last night,” Tilly said, coming into your office without even asking your assistant if she could come in. Tilly was your right-hand girl at the company now, and had made a pretty successful track record for herself in her own right as a photographer. She was recently married too, which was super excited considering Phillip, her newlywed husband was also at the company and they were the talk of everyone’s office gossip. Mostly because they were so freaking cute. 

“Thank you,” you chuckled, looking through some paperwork before sitting down at your desk and flipping open your laptop and turning on your computer. 

“I bet Harry thought so as well.” Tilly smirked and placed herself at the edge of your desk, observing as you worked and tried not to be influenced by her suggestions. 

“He did pick out the dress.”

“Knew it. He picks out anything with lace.”

You laughed, leaning back in your chair and rubbing your temples. “Did Rebecca ever get back to you on whether or not she was booking that fashion blog thing next week? Or did she decide to do it after break?”

“I believe after break. She has a hot new boyfriend she’s going on vacation with to a tropical paradise.”

“Oh that sounds so nice,” you groaned. “Shit.”

“When was the last time you and Harry took a vacation just for yourselves, hm?” Tilly asked, “It may be time.”

“No we went away about a month ago,” you waved that idea aside. “I mean, he was working and I visited him in the Swiss Alps but the resort was really nice and we weren’t with the kids so that was refreshing. I love my kids so much of course obviously duh, but two weeks without them was also ... nice.”

“Yeah but Harry was working,” Tilly whined, “You guys should just take some couple time, you know? Get away and lounge on a nude beach or something.”

“There was plenty of nudity in the Swiss Alps,” you shot back, “Don’t imply my life is boring.”

“I wasn’t.”

“In 16 years both Mari and Teddy will be out of the house and off to college,” you leaned back in your chair and closed your eyes, “And that’s what we’re looking forward to.”

“You’re looking forward to that already?” Tilly chuckled, “Yikes.”

“No. Stop that. You’re making me feel like a bad mum. No, we love our kids very much. They are everything to us and we enjoy absolutely everything we get to do with them,” you snapped, “But that being said, I’m tired of having to quickly do it before the kids wake up. I miss traveling whenever I wanted to. Now when I travel for work it’s not a mini vacation, you know? It’s a vacation for the kids and I hate amusement parks.”

“You loved Disney.”

“Disney is different and you know it.”

You didn’t really know what was wrong with you. Things had been great recently and better than you ever could have imagined. You were so grateful for your kids, they were your pride and joy, and you couldn’t have gotten luckier than to have Harry as their father. Your family was a solid unit and you loved everything about your life. But right now you were just not in the mood and you didn’t even know why you were so grouchy. But Tilly found it absolutely hysterical and rode it out for the rest of the morning until you were on your way back home. 

Walking through the door, you were surprised to find the house lively and loud considering this was usually Teddy’s nap time. But there was Christmas music blasting from the living room and laughter ringing through the hallways. 

“I’m home!” you called, tossing your bag, coat and keys to the side and not even attempting to place them in their right places before you heard little feet scampering towards you. Teddy got to you first as you lifted him up and kissed all over his face before Mari was pulling at your dress, attempting to get your attention as her hands flew so quickly. 

Dad put the tree up and we started hanging the lights and Teddy knocked over a box of ornaments so we had to find where they rolled and Gran made cookies for us to eat and said we could make some for Santa soon! She was smiling ear to ear and you leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead as you laughed.

“And we’ve been playing Christmas music!” Teddy added, gripping to you tightly as his eyes gleamed with excitement. 

“Sounds like you’ve had a very successful morning!” you smiled, placing Teddy back down as he ran back off to the festivities. 

Harry was lying on the couch with a Santa hat over his face, his long legs crossed and his hands clasped on his stomach as you made your way into the bright and colorful Winter Wonderland your living room had been turned into. 

“Hey there,” you chuckled, sitting down and tugging the hat from his face slowly. Harry blinked rapidly for a moment, taking a big breath in before rubbing his eyes. 

“Hey,” he mumbled tiredly. He reached out and brushed his fingertips across your face, pulling at your chin as you leaned forward and gave him a kiss. “How was work?”

“Fine,” you nodded, “Busy. Where’s your mum?”

“She went to the grocer’s to get some things for the party,” Harry yawned, sitting up and pulling you to him as you watched your kids start to decorate your tree. “Doesn’t look half bad, huh?” he asked.

“No,” you couldn’t help but smile, “No it does not.”

It was usually Kat that threw the Christmas party, but considering your group of friends and circle of acquaintances was growing so significantly as your children all started to make friends and your businesses grew, the concept of having a party in the small flat you once owned wasn’t the smartest idea. And so that’s how you found yourself applying makeup Christmas Eve with a half zipped up dress on and bobby pins all up in your hair holding it away from your face.

The door to your room opened and Mari came skipping in. Her curly hair that she’d inherited from her father had been properly curled and was pinned away from her face, showing off her gorgeous eyes and smile as she watched you do your makeup.

Dad was talking to Gran about you today, she signed while intently watching as you applied some blush. 

“Oh yeah?” you asked, “What were they saying little spy?” 

Just that you aren’t feeling well, Mari pouted, Are you okay Mumma?

“Oh yes dear I’m totally fine. Just tired. Work has been very busy lately,” you smiled at her and brushed a stray hair away from her face. “You look very lovely tonight sweetheart.”

Thank you, Mari let out a long sigh, How will Santa know when to come if all these people are going to be in our house?

“I’m sure he’ll wait until everyone has left and then you and Teddy can sleep on the couch just like every year. No worries lovely.”

Mari smiled widely at this, nodding her head and signing that she was going to go and check on Gran and the food before hopping off the little seat she’d been on and making her way out the door, nearly knocking Harry over in the process.

“Whoa there little one!” he chuckled, dodging her little body as he entered the room. “Hello gorgeous.”

“You need to be more careful when you’re talking to Anne around the kids. You forget your daughter has super hearing.” You finished applying makeup and stood up, stepping into your heels as you turned your back to Harry for him to finish zipping it up.

“I do often forget,” Harry sighed and reached down, kissing your shoulder. “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine,” you nodded, “Better if you stopped asking.”

“Baby ...” Harry started and sat down on your bed, watching you as you put on your earrings. You turned and looked at him, your eyes wide as he just stared back with a look of confusion. “What ...?” he asked you suspiciously.

“Baby,” you whispered, reaching for your stomach and just staring at Harry with wide eyes. He stood up abruptly, hands flying to his face as he stepped forward. 

“You think...?” he cleared his throat and tugged at his collar. “Have you been late recently?”

“I ... I haven’t even thought about it with everything going on,” you said, going over to your phone and checking your calendar. You were late, really late, and you cursed under your breath for not realizing it. 

“Oh my God,” you groaned, sitting down on your bed and resting your face in your hand.

“We ... we don’t know for sure,” Harry said hesitantly, coming over to sit next to you and resting his hands on your shoulders. “How would you feel if we were pregnant?”

The thought hadn't even occurred to you. You were so happy with the family you had now, you’d never thought of adding to it. A dog, maybe, but another kid? 

“I don’t know,” you whispered, more to yourself than to your husband. “I don’t know if we can handle another. I mean, things already were hard with Mari and the sign language and then Teddy is starting to show signs of asthma when we’re at the park. We’re both so busy ...”

You leaned back against Harry as the two of you sat in silence for a moment. “I think ...” Harry started and then waited for a moment, contemplating his thoughts. “I think that if we are pregnant,” he started again, “That once we have the child, we won’t even remember what it was like not expecting to have another little one in our lives.”

“You think we can do it though?” you asked, “Shit, we’re both so tired already. Maybe we should have waited longer to have kids.”

“We’re fine,” Harry reassured you. You turned to look at him as he clasped your hands in his. “We’re great parents. You’re a wonderful mum and I am so proud to see you with our children every day.”

“It all makes sense now,” you groaned, “The mood swings, the irritableness - I’ve always felt that right at the beginning - and the sudden nausea during the day. I don’t know how either of us looked over it.”

“Like you said,” Harry shrugged, “We’ve been busy.”

You sighed and observed Harry for a moment, reaching up and running your fingers through his slightly unruly hair. “You’re a great dad too,” you nodded, “Yeah. You’re a really great dad. Regardless of how many kids I come home to at the end of the day or no matter how stressed or tired I get, it’s coming home that makes everything worth it.”

“But when it comes down to it, you’re my home,” Harry nodded, “I love our children, I love the life we’ve made for each other. But you’re my home. You’re the one that as soon as you came back into my life everything became better. Coming home finally felt like coming back to something, and if we aren’t pregnant I’m going to be okay with that. If we are, hell I’m going to be excited too.”

You nodded and rested your forehead against his chest. “This is ridiculous,” you mumbled.

“Well considering the rate we went at it in the Alps, I’d say this is pretty normal actually. I’m surprised I’m even surprised you’re pregnant.”

“We don’t know for sure,” you chuckled.

“Love,” Harry raised an eyebrow, “Yesterday you yelled at me for how I put away the spoons in the kitchen. You never care about the kitchen. You’re pregnant.”

You both were laughing before you knew it and there was a soft knock on the door. Anne poked her head in and smiled at the two of you, “Everything okay in here, you two?”

“Yeah Mum,” Harry stood as you took his offered hand and stood with him. “We’re all good.”

“We actually just found out there’s three,” you gave her a soft smile and Harry rested his hand on your stomach, something you knew he’d been wanting to do since the moment you’d suggested it. He let out an obnoxious giggle, leaning forward and nuzzling his nose into your cheek as you batted him away.

“Oh!” Anne smiled widely, coming over to the two of you and giving you a hug, “Oh that’s so exciting!” she gasped, tears welling in her eyes as she placed her hands on your cheeks and then Harry’s. “What a happy Christmas!” she exclaimed. “Well, this is so wonderful. Congratulations!”

“Thanks Mum,” Harry chuckled and you leaned against his side as he wrapped his arm around you. “We should probably go get ready for the guests.”

“Right! That’s just what I was coming up here to do,” Anne smiled, giving you one last hug before turning and making her way down stairs. 

Harry turned to you and winked. “Happy Christmas, Y/N.”

“Happy Christmas, Harry.” 

There’s really no place like home for the holidays. No place can remedy what you’re feeling until you’re home with the ones you love, celebrating in the warmth and love of those who have supported you through so much. Harry was all that you needed to feel at home, as were you to him. And with the five month old with you the next holiday season bouncing on your lap as you watched Harry once again attempt to put up yet another tree, you knew that home was truly the best place on earth and you were lucky to have such a wonderful home to be a part of. 

-----

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I don’t really know what that was, but I was feeling all mushy and happy about the holidays with a cute family so there you go. I hope you enjoyed this one shot. I’m planning on doing more fun one shots with happy lovey-dovey people if you’d like more, so if you’re interested in me writing anymore stuff, let me know! Thank you everyone! This was truly so much fun! 

Requests for more writing HERE

[kira-aub]

It has been about a month since I’ve done a life update so it’s about high-time I do one!!! Obviously I’ve been very busy this past month, I finished off my portrait project to an acceptable level and worked really hard to do a good job on my three little pigs project!! So most of my time has either been spent working, going to school, or sleeping (my favorite pastime). With the completion of our fairy tale animatic projects came the beginning of the last project for the year the Final Major Project (or FMP). So the next 12ish weeks will be dedicated to one project! Not sure what I will do yet, but I’m getting some interesting ideas!

This past weekend Rhi took me to London for my birthday!! We stayed at her auntie’s adorable house in Walthamstow (which I still can’t really pronounce). I rode on my second train ever as well as my first underground train (which we took a LOT). Since we took the night train up we went home and went to sleep but on my birthday we went to the Tower of London!

Even though I’ve been through London three times now, I’ve never actually been TO London, just the airport, so this was really exciting for me! We took the underground into London (lots of detours because of strikes and whatnot but we eventually got to Tower Hill. My tourist side flourished and I took a ridiculous amount of pictures.

My main reason for wanting to go to the tower was to see the Tower of London ravens! I’m a avid corvid fan and I’ve seen amazing videos of the Ravenmaster interacting with them and they just make the coolest noises! Needless to say, when we finally got to the ravens I took so many videos and pictures that I immediately filled up my phone’s storage. Rhi had to tear me away from them otherwise I would spend the whole day cooing at them. Only two of them were walking around because of a recent outbreak of avian flu, but they were all very lively and adorable. I also may have bought an inordinate amount of raven merchandise in the store.

We then went to a cafe for some lunch and I had a very nice potato and lentil soup. Unfortunately though I also happened to knock over my 7-UP and it proceeded to spray literally all over me and soaked my pants. I was so dumbfounded that I just let it happen to me and it was such a mess and both of us couldn’t stop laughing. But it wasn’t great to walk around sticky for half the day (I also got very cold because of it). After securing a sweatshirt around my waist to hide most of the spill we went through the White Tower and saw the amazing armory. There were wooden horse sculptures that were older than the United States! It was really incredible. We wandered around and saw the crown jewels (no pictures allowed), as well as some of the other interesting sights and then finished with looking at the ravens one more time. I never got to meet the ravenmaster, but that will have to be a goal for another visit! The next day we went to Camdentown and shopped in the absolutely incredible market. It literally goes on forever and there were some really interesting little shops. I had some really good Mexican food (even though they wrapped the burrito wrong but the chicken was good so I’m not complaining too much. We spent a few hours there until it got unbearably cold and we went home. We took the night train back to Bournemouth and I instantly fell asleep when I got home.

It was a really incredible birthday and I’m so happy to have an amazing person like Rhi in my life <3. Next year is going to be amazing living with her and Jimmy and Dan in a house together (we just signed the lease and it’s pretty darn cute!) I really can’t wait, it’ll be awesome.

For this week and next week I have Tier 4 required classes, but I don’t really mind because that gives me time to work on my assessment as well as an amazing opportunity I decided to take; helping some 2nd year BA Animation students with their film. They came to our classroom looking for volunteers and I was the only one that expressed interest but I’m so glad I got over my nervousness and contacted them because I just got the shot that I’m going to cleanup and I’m so excited to work on a film of this level this early on. It’s really an amazing opportunity for me. I hope I can give them some quality results! I would post some of the exercises I’ve drawn for it, but I don’t know how they would feel about me posting their character designs, so I’m just gonna keep it a secret ;).

Hopefully my next update won’t be as far between, this week is going to be really interesting! (Not to mention we have a trip up to Oxford for a day so that will be fun too!!)

[carina-debayle]

Helping Therron | Part I: Crystalized

Log Date:  12/1/16

OOC Note: The text in these logs are strictly for the readers enjoyment. Anyone using the knowledge displayed within this text without the participants knowledge risks the potential of blacklisting from future communication and roleplay. Please do not meta-game! Warning: Long-ish log

Tags: @dancingnlancing

I had just picked Hestia from her class in Gridania. It seemed to be helping her some with progressing her communication skills, plus I could see she liked interacting with the other children. Although I had made attempts to see if she had any friends she wanted to invite over to play with, it seemed she was hesitant. I was unsure if this was due to her own somewhat shy nature... or perhaps she was struggling to make solid friendships. I knew due to her size and her slightly slower behavior due to the aetherical imbalance that she might have some trouble... but perhaps there was more that needed to be done. Watching her sit and play with her watch contently, I glanced about the tavern some, allowing for my tea to cool. Little did I expect my day to turn how it did...

Therron Basque stepped up from the airship landing, a decently sized crate in his hands. He panted softly at the top of the stairs, leaning his package on the railing so he could wipe sweat from his brow freely-- as it required two arms to carry. A familiar figure stuck out blaringly across the room. Pupils shifted rapidly about the inn before he finally stepped forward.

Carina Roussos finished slicing up the apple she had order for her daughter, placing the slices down on a plate before sliding it over to her toddler. "Remember not to eat too fast Hestia, you don't want another tummy ache. You are still getting better from your last one. Make sure you finish you juice as well," she nods, reaching toward the center of the table for a sugar cube, plopping one or four into her tea to stir.

Hestia De'bayle happily grabs one of the pieces, bringing it into her mouth to chop onto. Holding still a moment, the girl let out a whine as she may or may not have hit parts of her exposed gum on the fresh apple. Trying not to start crying, she merely slowed down her chewing.

Therron Basque stared down at Hestia who had surely grown in his time away. He looked from child to daughter apprehensively before progressing further. Strides carried him slowly, unable to stop staring.

Carina Roussos glancing over toward the close walker-by, most due to habit, Carina raised a brow toward the familiar face, "Basque? Is that you? Might have hardly not even recognized you through that fancy hat of yours."

Therron Basque jerked to a stop. The heavy box he was carrying gingled. "Ah I... You think it's fancy?"  Eyes flicked to the rim of the brown hat.

Carina Roussos: "Fancier than mine," she grinned, pointing to the top of her empty head, "how have you been?"

Hestia De'bayle looks toward her mother, copying her motion as Hestia too pointed to her head.

Therron Basque made a quick double glance about the inn. "Oh, me? I've been well, honestly... Err, what about you? How is your family?"

Carina Roussos: "Oh how good to hear, we've been doing well. Taking each day in stride," Carina looked over to her daughter, who was now cautiously looking over her plate toward the stranger, "dear, why don't you introduce yourself? You're a big girl aren't you?"

Hestia De'bayle shoves another apple slice into her mouth as she chewed through it and swallowed, "ah.... uhmmmm..." she said out bashfully, her more than likely sticky hand going to mess with her hair nervously, "h-hello... I'm Hestia... good night...." she murmurs out, her hands going to hide her red face.

Carina Roussos: "Oh Hestia..." Carina laughed, "wipe your hands first please, I don't want to hear you crying later when your hair is tangled and stuck together," she 'tsks' handing the little girl a napkin. Looking to Therron with a smile, Carina shrugged her shoulders, "she's... a bit shy around new people."

Carina Roussos: "She also still doesn't understand the difference between good night and good evening..."

Therron Basque couldn't help but crack a light smirk upon seeing the child's display. "Good night?" He chuckled good naturedly. "It's not even time to sleep yet. H-hey, but your words are pretty good for a kid your age." His shifted over to Carina as she spoke. "She'll get it haha... I'm pretty impressed, honestly. How is Armont?"

Carina Roussos: "We are pretty happy with the strides she has been making, all things considered. She was having a tough time... learning things for awhile..." her eyes drifted off in thought, her words fading along with them. Once her attention was caught again, she offered Therron a kind stare, "he is will. We have finally worked to establish the De'bayles as a Minor House under Fortemps. He is quite enthused about this."

Therron Basque smiled and nodded. "That's great news. I'm glad you managed to, and that your kid's learning alright now." Eyes flit between the table and Carina herself. "Do you mind if I set this down while we talk?"

Carina Roussos: "Oh by all means! I'm sorry, I should have offered sooner," she motions a hand forward toward the empty chair across from them, bringing her cup up to sip from, "tell me ah... how has your..." her eyes glance around the wood grain of the table a moment before raising again, "...that 'portrait' you've been creating. How has it been? Any new issues or has it... progressed more?"

Hestia De'bayle looks at the toy watch on her wrist, munching on her apples still as she began to play with it wistfully.

Therron Basque stepped forward and set down the immensely heavy crate. Metalic objects inside all crashed against each other loudly. "Portrait? Oh..." Sheepishly, the Elezen rubbed his bicep. "Nothing but bad news, I'm afraid... Ah, but it's alright. I've sort of come to terms with things."

Carina Roussos: "I see... you know there is still a way to make it better you know? Some different tools perhaps, you went away awhile... I found there was little I could do to get in contact with you about it. Were you still looking for assistance?" Carina Roussos eyes the crate with a raised brow, but simply stays quiet on it.

Therron Basque pressed a hand into his jaw, turning every which way pensively. "Ah, I apologize... I should have giving you my personal Linkshell... Regardless, what exactly is it you are proposing? I would rather hear you out before I give an answer."

Carina Roussos: "Well it is as I said before... there are ways to fix most issues. Some more taxing than others, more so a task rather than a complete fix. But it is possible. I have looked into your portrait and I can say that there is certainly something I can do to make it a bit better."

Therron Basque tilted his head. "Do... You have time to talk in depth?" he set a hand on the box and pat it. "I'm just on my way to a casual delivery job. I still have a lot of extra time before I have to be finished."

Carina Roussos: "Yes I am not in any hurry to go anywhere currently, would you rather we went somewhere a bit more quiet?"

Therron Basque nodded vigorously. "Please... I think outside the city gates might be safest for all parties involved." He glanced toward Hestia briefly.

Carina Roussos: "Lead the way,” the woman stands, placing some gil to the table to pay for her daughter and her’s outing.

Therron Basque nodded slowly. "I think this is far enough the road, but close enough to the city there aren't any monsters out."

Hestia De'bayle follows behind her mother with Joseph, humming a song happily as she pat her friend’s head.

Carina Roussos glances about before returning her gaze back to Therron, "we would be fine either way, Joseph would care for Hestia, myself included. Now then... about this issue. There is a way to subdue it, at least from my last tests. I would need to know how it has progressed though, as more drastic measures may need to be taken now."

Therron Basque 's eyes shifted around to be extra safe. He pulled off his glove, pulling back the sleeve to reveal blackened elbows. The skin around the area was dry, cracking, and in places it even had scalelike looking growths. He was quick to hide the malformed flesh back behind his sleeve quickly, however. "I sort of gave up on searching, really..."

Carina Roussos inspects his arm curiously, tapping a finger to her lip. "While not exactly the same, this condition quite reminds me of a time when I had my blood tainted. It blackened my veins with poison, and I would have surely died if not for a rare antidote myself and my group searched for and found. It was a very close call. I took two leaves, one for myself and one just for use some other day. That leaf may be able to revert these, as it would clear this right up. As for the full issue itself… more would still need to be done to prevent it from happening again. It is merely a treatment, not a cure."

Therron Basque rubbed his chin. "I just have to... eat a leaf? That sounds simple enough... I can look for more, I'm sure. There aren't any huge risks with this, are there?"

Carina Roussos: "Ah I mean nothing serious, it just puts you into a crystallized state for a few hours and the plasma will help repair you. It is... actually best you not eat the entire leaf..." she laughs nervously.

Therron Basque tilted his head. "Crystallized state? Hmm... What happens if you eat the entire leaf?"

Carina Roussos: "I couldn't really really tell you... I was nearly at the cusp of death when I took it but from what I told it was... a frightening sight. The antidote is very strong to say the least, but it can also be overwhelming."

Therron Basque: "Well... If you think it will help, let's do it. As long as it can't make it worse, then I don't see a problem." He glanced about. "Should we find a safer spot to do this?"

Carina Roussos: "We should probably go somewhere that we know your body would be safe. What about your delivery?

Therron Basque waved his hand. "I'll tell them I got delayed on travel. This is... More important... Can your kid teleport? We can go to my house in the goblet."

Carina Roussos: "The goblet is rather far, we have an apartment here in the Shroud."

Therron Basque considered for a moment. "Alright, if you think it's safe... Let's go, then. I'll follow  behind you."

Carina Roussos: "Welcome, feel free to make yourself comfortable, I will set up the leaf to be the most optimal for you."

Therron Basque glanced around the quant living area. "It looks lovely." He said despite his anxiousness. "Ah, alright,” the man waved meekly to Hestia after situating himself onto their couch.

Hestia De'bayle looks over to Therron, having plopped herself on the opposite end of the couch to play with her watch. "Mommy call you basket? Is that name?"

Therron Basque sighed good naturedly. "Basket... haha. Sure. And they call you hysteria?" He stuck out his tongue impishly.

Hestia De'bayle: "Hystery? No no, I am Hestia. Basket is pretty name," the little girl points to the aquarium behind the man, "that Jamie, he is a blowfish. He gets really big, it's funny. I like it. Do you like blowfishies?"

Therron Basque glanced over his shoulder at the fat fish, tilting his head. "Jimmy? That's sort of a cute name. I've never seen one of these types of fishes. He's lovely."

Hestia De'bayle flashes Therron a wide slightly toothless smile, "lovely! Yes he is! Lovely, lovely! We also have kitten, she is small and black. Papa brought her home."

Therron Basque glanced at the girl with a grin. "I LOVE kittens. You know, I have a kitten back home. He's about your size, but with wings and spotted."

Hestia De'bayle: "WHAT!" the little girls says shockingly, "wings?! That's amazing! What is name? Flying kitten!"

Therron Basque: "His name is Mittens. I named him after my  favorite sort of gloves. Have you seen the snow before, Hestia?"

Hestia De'bayle: "Mommy and Papa told me I was born where snow is, I don't remember it. I wish I remember, Papa loves snow. He talks about snow place a lot. Is snow pretty?"

Therron Basque: "Oh yes."He nodded slowly. "I've always loved the way it twinkles in the moonlight. A thousand lights dancing silently... And great weather for wearing mittens in."

Hestia De'bayle: "Lights dance? Like fairies?" she asks curiously scooting over to Therron, "I like my mittens, oh! Let me show you!" she hops off, running into her room before returning back with her chocobo mittens, "see! Mommy's mommy made them for me."

Therron Basque smiled softly, rubbing his sides anxiously. He tried to drop all worry from his face when the girl reappeared, however. "Those are absolutely adorable. I love the little buttons on them."

Hestia De'bayle: "Mommy's mommy is nice lady, she made them just for me!” she said happily, climbing back onto the couch beside him before settling her hands into her lap, "Mister Basket are you okay?"

Therron Basque blinked at the girl. "Don't you worry your pretty head. I'm a tough Dragoon. I've arm wrestled a dragon, you know." He grinned mischievously.

Carina Roussos finally returns back into the main room, a medium sized flask of bright blue liquid in her hand, "how is everything?" Carina smiled between them.

Hestia De'bayle: "A dragon!? Papa wrestled dragon too! He said that where he got his eye, it's very colorful!"

Therron Basque: "Well enough. Your kid was showing off her mittens." Pupils briefly flicked to Hestia, "Huh... That's intense." With that, he glanced back towards Carina and her tonic. "Should I just stay here on the couch or...?"

Carina Roussos bites her lip some, keeping a calm-ish expression in front of her daughter, "it might be better we bring you into Armont and I's room. Hestia you sure do love those mittens don't you?" she cooed out toward her child.

Hestia De'bayle waves her mittens happily.

Therron Basque nodded, rising from the couch. "Alright... I'll see you later, Hestia. You keep working on your words. You'll be writing novels in no time, kid."

Hestia De'bayle: "Have fun Mister Basket!" she waves.

Carina Roussos: "So... here is how this will go... you will still end up in a crystallized state, though it shouldn't bring you to the brink of death. You'll be out for awhile though, so it is best we put you somewhere safe," Carina glances at their bed, "worry not about the sheets, we have plenty of extras."

Therron Basque slipped carefully into the room, eyes lifting towards the ceiling then flicking all about. "Ah... Alright... Shouldn't bring me to the brink of death?" He laughed anxiously, then sat on the bed.

Carina Roussos: "Some things are worth the risk. I made sure this tonic was was the perfect amount for your body size. As I've said, this is but a treatment for the severity of your condition spreading. It won't cure it though, so we will have to work after that, though I do have plans for that."

Therron Basque nodded slowly. "Right... Right..." He extended his palm for the tonic. "Should we just discuss it when I wake up? It might be better just to see what happens first."

Carina Roussos: "I think that would be best. One step at a time after all," she places the tonic into his hand, "be sure to lie down after you drink it."

Therron Basque stared longingly at the vessel in his hands. "Thanks, by the way... I really appreciate you looking into all this for me." With that, he turned the flask upside down and chugged the tonic as fast as he could. Before he had time to react to it's taste, he laid back in the bed.

The rush of the tonic would send a chill down Therron’s body, before igniting a burning throughout him. Before long the man should feel sick, before soon enough a blue substance would begin to drain out of the mans mouth. It would begin to coat over his body, and the man would begin to lose the feeling throughout him. Soon enough, he would feel the world around him fading away, as he seemingly drifted into a sleep as the strange gel substance began to cover him and harden.

Therron Basque's skin prickled the moment the fluid touched his lips. He grunted loudly, not fully making it down into the bed before simply collapsing on this side from the pain. Numb, he drooled out the fluid from the side of his mouth before going totally still. Fears washed over the twilight of his waking consciousness. And then, nothing, blankness all around.

Carina Roussos hummed to herself, reaching over to her table for a notepad as she began to jot down notes. "Finally get to witness this myself..." once the man was completely encased in the smooth blue crystal, Carina brought her pen over to tap it gently, "it isn't hollowed..." she murmurs, writing some more before glancing out the window, "should be another bell or so..."

Therron Basque Blackness faded away slowly in a sudden wash of white. Soon it was clear the cause of all the blankness was actually a blizzard. Snow swirled around various shapes as they came into crisper view. In the center of this frozen field laid the corpse of an Aevis swarmed by ragged looking black birds. They plunged their heads deep into the half frozen carcass despite how difficult it was, plucking out entrails. One of the creatures glanced upward, and Therron was shocked into realizing that he was standing there in front of the corpse himself. As the birds feasted, their appearance became more and more diseased. Soon, their feathers were falling out. Yet, then continued to hunger. Even as their flesh slipped off of bone, the carried on and on until they were nothing but dust lost in the blizzard. The storm swallowed them up. These ashes fell together with the snow and coagulated into the horrifying shape of a monstrous wrym of white. If Therron had been able, he would have begun to toss and turn. But he was locked in place, paralyzed by this creature which glowered directly through him. "Giving away such gifts. A pity." It vanished, yet, and Therron was left to wander alone in the tempest.

Carina Roussos monitored the man's condition. Moments turned into a bell swiftly. Carina changed into her sleeping wear, preparing her daughter for bed before getting a cup of coffee to continue watching Therron through stasis.

Therron Basque wandered through the blankness for what felt like thousands of years. The scenery never changed, and he was beginning to see repeats of his own footsteps in the snow. Fatigue was baring his movements now. Muscles began to shut down one by one until he was face down in the snow. He felt the ice gathering over his back, over his hands and feet. Overwhelmed, he lay there until the cycle was repeated. Birds came down anew, picking at his bones and withering away.

Carina Roussos stands, inspecting the crystal formation. It was difficult to see through, and Carina had no way to tell if the man was even alive or not still. "Mmn..." she sipped at her mug, some uncertainty coming over her.

Therron Basque struggled despite the numbing hopelessness. On the outside, the case was beginning to crack. Without much warning to him, he was pulled awake from his dream and into dark consciousness. His muscles twitched and he started fidgeting.

Carina Roussos looks over Therron’s crystal curiously, noticing the cracks as she knocks her knuckle against it gently.

Therron Basque The prison shattered around him, plasma fluttering about before disappearing into nothingness. Nothing but a slight stain to the bed from the initial slime remained.  He came out gasping for breath, skin totally palid. His eyes darted all around the room, slowly backing himself up into the headboard.

Carina Roussos stepped back swiftly as lights seemed to fly about, the same plasma's she remembered from her time before in Mor Dhona, the woman approached back to the bed shortly after the crystal case was gone. "Basque? Basque, respond to me if you can."

Therron Basque stared with side eyes at Carina for some time. He made motions to speak, but his tongue felt fat and heavy. The man swallowed a deep breath and hugged his knees until the sensation stopped.

Carina Roussos places a hand to his shoulder, "it might feel a bit strange at first, you've been out for awhile. Here..." the woman grabs a glass of water she had on her table, "drink this, it will help clear your throat."

Therron Basque reached out with a trembling arm, fingertips just barely touching the top of the glass before he recoiled, gasping suddenly. He gripped his forearm with one hand, dragging it down to his knee. He rocked backwards and forwards until it subsided. Once more he'd attempt to speak, but his try mouth choked down any words he may have had.

Carina Roussos sits down beside the man, putting a hand to the man's back to rub it soothingly, "deep breathes Basque, everything will be okay. Once the feeling subsides, you will feel better."

Therron Basque took deep, but ragged breaths until his panic began to subside. He reached for the glass again, muscles seeming to misfire and still tremble.

Carina Roussos: "Let's have a look at that arm, it should be cleared up..." Carina murmured out, reaching a hand to tug up his sleeve.

Therron Basque flinched a little as she grabbed his arm, but ultimately would allow her to do so. Painful looking sores took the place of where scales once were.

Carina Roussos: "Good... good" the woman stood up, going over to her table to jot that down and grabbing for a silver container. Upon opening it, there was a cream inside. Moving back over to him, Carina took some of the salve and gently rubbed it onto the sores, a gentle cooling sensation going over the affected area. "This is great progression I'd say."

Therron Basque: "Ow, ow ow..." He whimpered as he was touched. "Hhnng... Well at least it doesn't itch any more, right?" He said weakly.

Carina Roussos: "It's simply a rash, tends to happen with fresh skin. Add some salve to it every day and it will clear up in no time. As for the issue of it happening again, we will need to secure you with a collar or bracelet perhaps. It will neutralize you. If you ever start to turn, it should block it. Now I just need to get some magicite… Unfortunately, I have no basis for a cure of this issue, but we can keep treating it so that you can at least live comfortably,"

Therron Basque: "M-magicite?" He asked softly. "Where do we find it? I can start looking...Ah..." Therron stared over at the window. "No escaping it, is  there?"

Carina Roussos: "Do not worry, I know where I can find some and I've already made plans for a trip there. Some things aren't avoidable, but we do what we can to work with them. I know you'll be alright..."

Therron Basque 's stomach churned uncomfortably with this revelation. Only two people had been so blunt. "Y-yeah... I'll be fine."

Carina Roussos: "In the end, even if it sounds like a defeat, in truth it is a victory. As an Ishgardian allow me to put it into better perspective. The Dragon Song war is over, but the battle will never truly end. That being said though, Ishgard has found peace and knows how to achieve it. You are the same... Therron. The battle will always rage on within, but you know what must be done to upkeep peace. With that knowledge, you can live on even with this condition, and you can thrive."

Therron Basque chuckled bitterly under his breath. "That's true. And even if worse does come to worse, the entire city is topsytervy and I'll probably still be aloud in bakeries. As long as I can eat bread, I'll be fine of course."

Carina Roussos bumps an elbow into his arm, "I assure you, you most certainly will be able to eat all the bread you can fit into your belly. So long as you keep on your blocker, you will be fine. It will essentially redirect the spike of aether that begins to form when you change forms, keeping you in a normal state. At most you will probably feel ill. Headaches, stomach aches. But no dragon form."

Therron Basque: "I'll happily take the trade off." He nodded steadily. "I really only have two choices... Either I give up an except my fate or keep fighting and have a good time. If some rock is really the answer, that's... Actually sort of funny in a sad way.”

Carina Roussos laughs, "trust me... I lived a life where every moment I was ready to give in, ready to give up. Once I made something of myself, found myself for once in my life though... I realized that the life that was given to me... from my brother, my mother and father... that time was something I should not take for granted. I fight every day still, but every moment I am alive I am grateful that I made it this far. I hope the same for you."

Therron Basque bowed his head in agreement. "Yes... Absolutely. I didn't waste all that time fighting in the war for nothing. I should be able to enjoy the peace I helped buy, damnit..."

Carina Roussos nods, "did you wish to stay here? Or perhaps you would like me to escort you back to your home? It would be best for you to get some rest after this. I will have your accessory as soon as I can."

Therron Basque: "I can make my way home by myself." Therron said. However, when he tried to rise up to his feet, he found his limbs too weak. He tried over and over again, but every time he'd just sit there in an awkward squat, shaking.

Carina Roussos stands, helping Therron up. "You sure? Seems you can barely stand on your own," she laughs out, patting his arm, "we can have Hestia sleep with us tonight..."

Therron Basque frowned awkwardly, reaching out for Carina's hand. "Ah... I... I do feel very weak..."

Carina Roussos: "Come with us, her room is our guest room... least while she's still young," she chuckles, leading him forward.

Therron Basque wobbled unsurely as she helped him up. He leaned much of his weight to her shoulder, staggering. "B-by the Fury... I'm so sorry. My feet feel like led."

Carina Roussos: "It's quite fine, it is probably better you stay the night any how. We can see how you feel in the morning,” she scoops Hestia up out of bed, the little girl in her feety behemoth pj's and snuggled up with her tonberry plush.

Therron Basque stared down at the small children's bed. His feet were going to stick off of it for sure. Without Carina's support, he had to collapse onto the bed. "I uhh... Don't know how to repay you for all of this... But I want to."

Carina Roussos: "It is quite fine for now..." she smiled down to him gently, rocking her sleeping toddler in her arms, "just rest for now and ease your mind. The antidote may leave you queasy now, but I assure you that you'll feel much better in the morning. I remember how rejuvenated I felt when I awoke the next morning after the antidote."

Therron Basque lay rather uselessly on the bed, nodding into the pillow. As she said, his condition seemed to worsen. "Hopefully your rocks make is so I never have to do this again..."

Carina Roussos: "I hope so as well, as I do not have any more leaves..." she laughs out lightly, "rest easy Basque."

Therron Basque nodded again. "Thanks... You too... urrp..."

When morning came, Basque was gone. Not that I truly expected much else, nor could I be upset. I myself have been in a similar situation in the past. I hoped to hear from him soon, to check up on his condition. If there was one thing I knew, is I would need to be journeying out soon for quite a few things. The weight of what people needed from me was beginning to grow heavy.

[airoasis]

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

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The Secret Society of the Illuminati

– This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we’re masking the Illuminati. Is is an actual thing? What the hell is it? – it is not a factor. – okay, process it with an open intellect, let’s get started. – best. – Shockingly, the Illuminati sincerely has an extraordinarily actual historical foundation. In 1776, in Bavaria, Germany, Adam Weishaupt, a German professor, prompted the superb of French philosophy. As a rule secularism and rational notion, decided to type an institution to shield these beliefs. Adam Weishaupt viewed becoming a member of the freemasons to help propagate his views however unfortunately, would not manage to pay for the admission cost. (laughter) So as an alternative, Weishaupt formed a secret group of his possess. He known as it, The Order of the Illuminati. I do not consider they met with the aid of the instruct tracks it used to be in general a basement, kinda like this. It was most likely whatever like this. – Yeah, well we will bet yeah. – I don’t know why i am holding that, k. The Illuminati had an anti-religious stance and concerned with the goals of self-capabilities, self-improvement, social reform and free concept.Naturally, conservatives viewed this a hazard to the church and by using the mid to late 1780s, the Illuminati used to be stopped and the energetic recruiting people into secret societies, was criminalized. Nevertheless, Weishaupt and the Illuminati would go Kobe in the fourth quarter. And continue to push on, persisting with meetings and finally spreading to France earlier than disappearing into obscurity. However, some individuals think, they survived. This is a part of an interview I had with an proficient.- good they believe that the core crew was fashioned back then and has evolve and so again in the 1920s, there have been some fascists who believed that the Illuminati had been a gaggle of Jews who controlled the sector. Right after World warfare II, extremist anti-communists believed that the Illuminati have been a gaggle of communists who managed the sector and most just lately the Illuminati conspiracy theorists believe that the Illuminati are a part of the new World Order.- Many humans feel the Illuminati seeked to make a dominant one world totalitarian govt, referred to as the brand new World Order. Correctly, in a 2013 countrywide ballot with the aid of public policy polling, 28 percentage of voters ballot feel within the probability of a brand new World Order. Some individuals suppose that the affect of the Illuminati and the brand new World Order, goes as high as the president of the united states. Here is an eerie clip from an historic George H.W. Bush speech when he used to be in workplace. – we’ve before us, the possibility to forge for ourselves and for future generations, a brand new World Order, an international with the guideline of regulation, now not the law of the jungles, governs the behavior of international locations, after we are successful and we will be able to be. We had an actual threat at this New World Order. An order in which a credible United nations can use its peacekeeping role to satisfy the promise and vision of the UN’s founders. – All this begs the question, what is the New World Order and what will it do? Assuming the Illuminati and the brand new World Order are one within the identical, let’s hop down the rabbit hole and take a appear at one of the most theories as to who’s in the New World Order.This primary conception is from a man named Mark Koernke. AKA "Mark from Michigan." A proper wing militia activist and propagandist who believes that the new World Order is made above the U.S. Govt, the UN and more than a few different businesses pushing an global agenda. He believes this institution will do away with American’s rights, type an all strong executive and put non-Illuminati contributors in camps run by using F.E.M.A. The 2d theory is from David Icke who believes that world leaders including Queen Elizabeth, President Barack Obama and the Clintons are honestly form transferring wizards. These lizard elite, are at the back of the freemasons and the Illuminati. The lizard race feeds off the human race and occasionally demands human sacrifices. Actually, the identical 2013 national poll photo an previous expose that four percentage of voters polled believe that, "Lizard humans manipulate our societies." The third theory is that the brand new World Order is hooked up to the anti-Christ considering that the Illuminati are Satanists.Pat Robertson, a conservative Christian wrote a book on the brand new World Order, that claims the crew is responsible for the French Revolution, the writing of the Communist Manifesto and the creation of the Federal Reserve, all in the service of creating, "a brand new order for the human race beneath the domination of Lucifer and his followers." The fourth idea is from Donald Marshall who believes that the Illuminati are killing celebrities and changing them with clones, used to brainwash society. I’m going to fuckin’ look it up right right here. – appear up Dolly the sheep. – alright first-class i will seem it up and did she begin off as just a little baby sheep? – sure. – whatever, ok, it appears there used to be a sheep clone. – Oh, apparently. – Purported famous person clones outed by means of web (mumbles), incorporate Beyonce, Eminem, Al Roker. And many more, but clone theorists additionally consider they’ve video evidence. – Marshall Mathers, some of you may comprehend him as Eminem however he is gonna join the Saturday night time crew with a tune intro commencing subsequent Saturday night but folks I wanna take you the world premier…Marshall are you k? – Yeah sorry– (laughter) are living television freaks me out somewhat bit. – good there you go, live television freaks him out a bit bit. – good, here’s Al Roker’s clip. Realize what she’s says, after which discover what his face goes to. – Why is that this a code phrase. – Some persons believe maybe it is like a trigger sequence the place his brain’s now receiving recommendations and being intellect manipulate. – Al Roker’s the Manchurian candidate and he’s gonna kill the president. – (laughs) Yeah. – Like they are saying in Catholic tuition, go away room for the holy ghost. (mystery track) – The expression he has on his face when he is frozen, is so fuckin’ funny to me, every time I watch it ‘reason I have no idea what it is, it can be like look. – you recognize what really, he looks like he just pooped his pants. (laughter) Who’s next? – this is Beyonce, incidentally, she did this for goodbye, I had to pace up the video.There she is going and then I fast forwarded the video here. She’s in some weird trance, I truely do not know what she’s doing. – She’s writing Lemonade in her head correct now. (laughter) – whether or not or now not individuals suppose this clone thought, many conspiracy theorists agree, that primary celebrities are within the Illuminati. They point at apparel picks and hand gestures. Often that of a pyramid, which is visible as an Illuminati symbol, as proof that designated celebrities are in the Illuminati. Beyonce and Jay-Z have been known to make a pyramid like symbol with their arms. Despite the fact that, this is additionally just like the emblem for Jay-Z’s label, Rockefeller files. – right (laughs). – however the flip on that, perhaps there is a rationale why he selected that image, see what I simply did there? – Yeah, you did it correct. – I did it.The title of their baby, Blue Ivy, has been interpreted to stand for, born living underneath evil, Illuminati’s very youngest. (laughter) – Wow, I can’t think they’d identify her anything with so apparent of a secret message in there. – nevertheless, both stars have denied their affiliation with the Illuminati in songs. Here’s a excerpt from Beyonce’s Formation, "Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess," and here is excert from Jay-Z’s verse in a song Free Mason, "I stated I was once robust, not that i’m a mason i am red scorching, i’m on my 1/3 six, but a satan i am no longer." other celebrities comprise Kanye West, who owns a necklace containing the emblem of the attention of Horus, which is related to the Illuminati and likewise obvious on the buck bill. Which by the way, the Fed, greenback bill, there it’s correct there, it is pretty apparent. Kayne’s interruption of Taylor Swift on the 2009 video track awards was said to be a method of initiating Taylor Swift into the Illuminati via humiliating or hazing her. However, here’s a quote from Kanye on the Illuminati, "i’m tired of men and women pinpointing musicians as the Illuminati. That’s ridiculous.We do not run anything; we’re celebrities." different celebrities which were accused of being within the Illuminati comprise woman Gaga, Rihanna, Madonna and Katy Perry simply to call a number of. She what you simply did. – Jesus Christ. (laughter) i am sorry Kobe. – The entire room is shaking correct now. Oh my God, I believe we just had an earthquake. – i’m sorry Kobe. – hold in intellect that it can be lovely convenient to make a claim that somebody is within the Illuminati. Hell, swiftly perusing my co-employee Quinta Brunson’s Instagram feed, I might see a couple of references to the Illuminati. – fairly? – just looking by means of the pics. Yeah, there’s even a snapshot the place i actually make the Rockefeller sign, in one among her portraits and it used to be rapidly called out by a remark, Illuminati verified. She additionally seems to be absent from her desk fairly traditionally. Perhaps to take care of Illuminati affairs. What if you’re within the Illuminati? – seem, i’m not in the Illuminati. – Wink. – i am not in the Illuminati, Quinta’s no longer within the Illuminati, you’ll be.- it’s lovely difficult to get into. And on that notice, i might prefer to point to a internet site called IlluminatiOfficial.Org and on that website, there may be a page referred to as join the Illuminati. An awfully interesting proposition certainly. So I reached out for an interview and here’s what I acquired again from their public members of the family director. Here is what the alleged Illuminati PR director wrote again based on my interview request, "unluckily contributors of the Illuminati aren’t currently on hand for on digital camera interviews." She also recounted, "there are numerous misconceptions about my client’s organization," and referred me to the website’s beliefs section. Which, is summary and quite exciting to claim the least however let’s consult with the professor an additional time. I assume the final question would be, what percent would you put on that the Illuminati is truely an actual factor. – good it used to be an actual factor, again in 1780 nevertheless it’s not a real thing anymore. I might say one hundred percent, it’s now not an actual thing. Many of the conspiracy theories make this loopy jump at some point, the place you’re following the path of evidence and it is smart and it is sensible and it makes sense and out of the blue, it’s crazy.- I would see an international where typically matters go past science or fact, that leap of faith is what you must make, to get to the reality. Might be that is just the loopy individual inside of me. (laughter) – i admire how you just out yourself as one of the crucial loopy men and women that she finds hard. – this is the thing, I saw the seem on her face after I mentioned that, she didn’t looked joyful. Am I gonna say outright the Illuminati is a real factor? No, i’m now not gonna say that but, is it possible? Yeah, it’s viable, why not? The fact that there might be some, all understanding institution beneath everything. – Are they Skyping, how are they assembly, the place are they assembly? They’re like, oh let’s simply meet in Toledo this yr (laughter) at the Radisson.- we have angered them once more. – Yeah. – do not talk about Toledo. (laughter) The factor i am pronouncing is, nothing’s unattainable. Typically you just gotta look at some thing with an open intellect, it’ll look crazy on the skin and i’ll admit, this all looks crazy. – So it is viable that there’s an institution centered by way of lizard folks, who most likely abduct and clone celebrities. – i’m no longer pronouncing pronouncing there may be lizard, ah fuck that’s what i’m saying. – Say lizard men and women out loud. – No. – Yeah. – No (laughs). – own it Ryan, say lizard people out loud. – We might sit down right here and speak about this all day but regardless, the existence of the Illuminati will stay unsolved.- well tell us in the comments if you happen to feel Ryan’s in the Illuminati ‘motive now i am sold. – (laughs) k. The good news is, you made it via this episode. The unhealthy news is, this is the last episode for this season of BuzzFeed Unsolved however, double excellent news, (laughs) Double excellent news. – Double excellent news is– – Double good information is there may be a new season children. And if i’m nonetheless alive in October, the new season will start. So hopefully i’ll see you there and i will be respiratory. If you happen to aren’t assassin and all of the persons that I’ve slided have not killed me, the Zodiac or the guys in Black or the Illuminati or of course, Quinta Brunson. .

[batterymonster2021]

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

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The Secret Society of the Illuminati

– This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we’re masking the Illuminati. Is is an actual thing? What the hell is it? – it is not a factor. – okay, process it with an open intellect, let’s get started. – best. – Shockingly, the Illuminati sincerely has an extraordinarily actual historical foundation. In 1776, in Bavaria, Germany, Adam Weishaupt, a German professor, prompted the superb of French philosophy. As a rule secularism and rational notion, decided to type an institution to shield these beliefs. Adam Weishaupt viewed becoming a member of the freemasons to help propagate his views however unfortunately, would not manage to pay for the admission cost. (laughter) So as an alternative, Weishaupt formed a secret group of his possess. He known as it, The Order of the Illuminati. I do not consider they met with the aid of the instruct tracks it used to be in general a basement, kinda like this. It was most likely whatever like this. – Yeah, well we will bet yeah. – I don’t know why i am holding that, k. The Illuminati had an anti-religious stance and concerned with the goals of self-capabilities, self-improvement, social reform and free concept.Naturally, conservatives viewed this a hazard to the church and by using the mid to late 1780s, the Illuminati used to be stopped and the energetic recruiting people into secret societies, was criminalized. Nevertheless, Weishaupt and the Illuminati would go Kobe in the fourth quarter. And continue to push on, persisting with meetings and finally spreading to France earlier than disappearing into obscurity. However, some individuals think, they survived. This is a part of an interview I had with an proficient.- good they believe that the core crew was fashioned back then and has evolve and so again in the 1920s, there have been some fascists who believed that the Illuminati had been a gaggle of Jews who controlled the sector. Right after World warfare II, extremist anti-communists believed that the Illuminati have been a gaggle of communists who managed the sector and most just lately the Illuminati conspiracy theorists believe that the Illuminati are a part of the new World Order.- Many humans feel the Illuminati seeked to make a dominant one world totalitarian govt, referred to as the brand new World Order. Correctly, in a 2013 countrywide ballot with the aid of public policy polling, 28 percentage of voters ballot feel within the probability of a brand new World Order. Some individuals suppose that the affect of the Illuminati and the brand new World Order, goes as high as the president of the united states. Here is an eerie clip from an historic George H.W. Bush speech when he used to be in workplace. – we’ve before us, the possibility to forge for ourselves and for future generations, a brand new World Order, an international with the guideline of regulation, now not the law of the jungles, governs the behavior of international locations, after we are successful and we will be able to be. We had an actual threat at this New World Order. An order in which a credible United nations can use its peacekeeping role to satisfy the promise and vision of the UN’s founders. – All this begs the question, what is the New World Order and what will it do? Assuming the Illuminati and the brand new World Order are one within the identical, let’s hop down the rabbit hole and take a appear at one of the most theories as to who’s in the New World Order.This primary conception is from a man named Mark Koernke. AKA "Mark from Michigan." A proper wing militia activist and propagandist who believes that the new World Order is made above the U.S. Govt, the UN and more than a few different businesses pushing an global agenda. He believes this institution will do away with American’s rights, type an all strong executive and put non-Illuminati contributors in camps run by using F.E.M.A. The 2d theory is from David Icke who believes that world leaders including Queen Elizabeth, President Barack Obama and the Clintons are honestly form transferring wizards. These lizard elite, are at the back of the freemasons and the Illuminati. The lizard race feeds off the human race and occasionally demands human sacrifices. Actually, the identical 2013 national poll photo an previous expose that four percentage of voters polled believe that, "Lizard humans manipulate our societies." The third theory is that the brand new World Order is hooked up to the anti-Christ considering that the Illuminati are Satanists.Pat Robertson, a conservative Christian wrote a book on the brand new World Order, that claims the crew is responsible for the French Revolution, the writing of the Communist Manifesto and the creation of the Federal Reserve, all in the service of creating, "a brand new order for the human race beneath the domination of Lucifer and his followers." The fourth idea is from Donald Marshall who believes that the Illuminati are killing celebrities and changing them with clones, used to brainwash society. I’m going to fuckin’ look it up right right here. – appear up Dolly the sheep. – alright first-class i will seem it up and did she begin off as just a little baby sheep? – sure. – whatever, ok, it appears there used to be a sheep clone. – Oh, apparently. – Purported famous person clones outed by means of web (mumbles), incorporate Beyonce, Eminem, Al Roker. And many more, but clone theorists additionally consider they’ve video evidence. – Marshall Mathers, some of you may comprehend him as Eminem however he is gonna join the Saturday night time crew with a tune intro commencing subsequent Saturday night but folks I wanna take you the world premier…Marshall are you k? – Yeah sorry– (laughter) are living television freaks me out somewhat bit. – good there you go, live television freaks him out a bit bit. – good, here’s Al Roker’s clip. Realize what she’s says, after which discover what his face goes to. – Why is that this a code phrase. – Some persons believe maybe it is like a trigger sequence the place his brain’s now receiving recommendations and being intellect manipulate. – Al Roker’s the Manchurian candidate and he’s gonna kill the president. – (laughs) Yeah. – Like they are saying in Catholic tuition, go away room for the holy ghost. (mystery track) – The expression he has on his face when he is frozen, is so fuckin’ funny to me, every time I watch it ‘reason I have no idea what it is, it can be like look. – you recognize what really, he looks like he just pooped his pants. (laughter) Who’s next? – this is Beyonce, incidentally, she did this for goodbye, I had to pace up the video.There she is going and then I fast forwarded the video here. She’s in some weird trance, I truely do not know what she’s doing. – She’s writing Lemonade in her head correct now. (laughter) – whether or not or now not individuals suppose this clone thought, many conspiracy theorists agree, that primary celebrities are within the Illuminati. They point at apparel picks and hand gestures. Often that of a pyramid, which is visible as an Illuminati symbol, as proof that designated celebrities are in the Illuminati. Beyonce and Jay-Z have been known to make a pyramid like symbol with their arms. Despite the fact that, this is additionally just like the emblem for Jay-Z’s label, Rockefeller files. – right (laughs). – however the flip on that, perhaps there is a rationale why he selected that image, see what I simply did there? – Yeah, you did it correct. – I did it.The title of their baby, Blue Ivy, has been interpreted to stand for, born living underneath evil, Illuminati’s very youngest. (laughter) – Wow, I can’t think they’d identify her anything with so apparent of a secret message in there. – nevertheless, both stars have denied their affiliation with the Illuminati in songs. Here’s a excerpt from Beyonce’s Formation, "Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess," and here is excert from Jay-Z’s verse in a song Free Mason, "I stated I was once robust, not that i’m a mason i am red scorching, i’m on my 1/3 six, but a satan i am no longer." other celebrities comprise Kanye West, who owns a necklace containing the emblem of the attention of Horus, which is related to the Illuminati and likewise obvious on the buck bill. Which by the way, the Fed, greenback bill, there it’s correct there, it is pretty apparent. Kayne’s interruption of Taylor Swift on the 2009 video track awards was said to be a method of initiating Taylor Swift into the Illuminati via humiliating or hazing her. However, here’s a quote from Kanye on the Illuminati, "i’m tired of men and women pinpointing musicians as the Illuminati. That’s ridiculous.We do not run anything; we’re celebrities." different celebrities which were accused of being within the Illuminati comprise woman Gaga, Rihanna, Madonna and Katy Perry simply to call a number of. She what you simply did. – Jesus Christ. (laughter) i am sorry Kobe. – The entire room is shaking correct now. Oh my God, I believe we just had an earthquake. – i’m sorry Kobe. – hold in intellect that it can be lovely convenient to make a claim that somebody is within the Illuminati. Hell, swiftly perusing my co-employee Quinta Brunson’s Instagram feed, I might see a couple of references to the Illuminati. – fairly? – just looking by means of the pics. Yeah, there’s even a snapshot the place i actually make the Rockefeller sign, in one among her portraits and it used to be rapidly called out by a remark, Illuminati verified. She additionally seems to be absent from her desk fairly traditionally. Perhaps to take care of Illuminati affairs. What if you’re within the Illuminati? – seem, i’m not in the Illuminati. – Wink. – i am not in the Illuminati, Quinta’s no longer within the Illuminati, you’ll be.- it’s lovely difficult to get into. And on that notice, i might prefer to point to a internet site called IlluminatiOfficial.Org and on that website, there may be a page referred to as join the Illuminati. An awfully interesting proposition certainly. So I reached out for an interview and here’s what I acquired again from their public members of the family director. Here is what the alleged Illuminati PR director wrote again based on my interview request, "unluckily contributors of the Illuminati aren’t currently on hand for on digital camera interviews." She also recounted, "there are numerous misconceptions about my client’s organization," and referred me to the website’s beliefs section. Which, is summary and quite exciting to claim the least however let’s consult with the professor an additional time. I assume the final question would be, what percent would you put on that the Illuminati is truely an actual factor. – good it used to be an actual factor, again in 1780 nevertheless it’s not a real thing anymore. I might say one hundred percent, it’s now not an actual thing. Many of the conspiracy theories make this loopy jump at some point, the place you’re following the path of evidence and it is smart and it is sensible and it makes sense and out of the blue, it’s crazy.- I would see an international where typically matters go past science or fact, that leap of faith is what you must make, to get to the reality. Might be that is just the loopy individual inside of me. (laughter) – i admire how you just out yourself as one of the crucial loopy men and women that she finds hard. – this is the thing, I saw the seem on her face after I mentioned that, she didn’t looked joyful. Am I gonna say outright the Illuminati is a real factor? No, i’m now not gonna say that but, is it possible? Yeah, it’s viable, why not? The fact that there might be some, all understanding institution beneath everything. – Are they Skyping, how are they assembly, the place are they assembly? They’re like, oh let’s simply meet in Toledo this yr (laughter) at the Radisson.- we have angered them once more. – Yeah. – do not talk about Toledo. (laughter) The factor i am pronouncing is, nothing’s unattainable. Typically you just gotta look at some thing with an open intellect, it’ll look crazy on the skin and i’ll admit, this all looks crazy. – So it is viable that there’s an institution centered by way of lizard folks, who most likely abduct and clone celebrities. – i’m no longer pronouncing pronouncing there may be lizard, ah fuck that’s what i’m saying. – Say lizard men and women out loud. – No. – Yeah. – No (laughs). – own it Ryan, say lizard people out loud. – We might sit down right here and speak about this all day but regardless, the existence of the Illuminati will stay unsolved.- well tell us in the comments if you happen to feel Ryan’s in the Illuminati ‘motive now i am sold. – (laughs) k. The good news is, you made it via this episode. The unhealthy news is, this is the last episode for this season of BuzzFeed Unsolved however, double excellent news, (laughs) Double excellent news. – Double excellent news is– – Double good information is there may be a new season children. And if i’m nonetheless alive in October, the new season will start. So hopefully i’ll see you there and i will be respiratory. If you happen to aren’t assassin and all of the persons that I’ve slided have not killed me, the Zodiac or the guys in Black or the Illuminati or of course, Quinta Brunson. .

[connoisseuroneup]