#I’M NOT EVEN A LYRICIST AND I’M BOTHERED BY THIS

[nezumithewriter]

anyone else mad about this lyric or am i the only one here

like it was RIGHT THERE TO FINISH THE COUPLET

I don’t CARE IF IT’S A “lyrical choice” IT MAKES ME LIVID CAUSE I LIKE THIS BIT OF THE SONG

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You’re My Muse [Chapter 14]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.4K

With the bags all packed and ready, you and the boys were clearing out the fridge, which mostly had snacks and drinks left. Suddenly, your phone rang. When you saw the number, your expression dropped. A weird feeling started to creep in and settle in your stomach.

“You okay?” Mingi was the first to notice. You nodded stiffly, quickly excusing yourself to answer the call. You entered your room, locking the door and walking to the window. 

“A-Ahjumma?” You spoke shakily. She never calls you. The only other time she has ever called you was when Haneul was sick and needed the hospital. 

“I was in an accident and will be sent to the hospital. I’ll have to stay there for a few days.” She started. 

“How long do I have? I-I’m not in Seoul now.” She didn’t need to explain further. You knew perfectly well what she meant. 

“I don’t know. They usually get someone over quite quickly.” 

“I’ll make some calls.” You hung up, not bothering to wish her a speedy recovery or even bid her goodbye. You were racing against the clock now. The journey back to Seoul would be too long. You needed someone who was closer to help you. As you paced up and down your room, wrecking your brain, there was a knock on your door.

“Indigo? We’re loading the bus to leave.” You heard Seonghwa on the other side of your door.

“Give me a few minutes! I’ll be right there!” You tried to sound calm and normal. Chewing on your lip, you went into your contacts list to find a number. 

“Wooyoung.”

“See? I told you, you would miss me! Not so much without me there right? But don’t worry, we’ll see each other soo-” Before Wooyoung could continue, you stopped him.

“Wooyoung. Please, I-I need a favour.” You tried your best to keep your composure as you spoke to him. At the slight tremour and tone of your voice, Wooyoung stopped talking and became silent.

“Indigo, what’s wrong? Tell me, I’ll help you.” Now you could hear the panic in Wooyoung’s voice.

“I-I need you to help me.” In your mind, you thought about whether you should have asked another friend to help you but you’ve grown to trust Ateez.

“Of course, anything. Tell me what I need to do.”

Throughout the ride home, you tried to act indifferent. But your mind and heart were racing, wanting to yell at the bus driver to just hurry up and speed you back home. But you couldn’t give anything away. Mingi noticed the slight frown on your face and the way you looked out the window. He knew you were anxious but didn’t know the reason.

“Indigo.” He reached out and touched your arm, making you jump. You turned to him in shock, so deep in thought and worry that you had momentarily forgotten where you were. 

“Sorry.” Mingi recoiled, as if he was worried that his touch burnt you.

“Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?” He asked worriedly. Now that he was closer, he noticed the cold sweat on your forehead.

“N-No, I’m fine. D-Don’t w-worry.” You tried your best to string together the words to be a bit more convincing but it didn’t work. It only made Mingi more worried about you. 

“Here. Drink this.” Mingi handed you a cold water bottle from the cooler. You stared at it for a few seconds before taking it. 

“Thanks.” You gulped down the water. But you turned away from him after that. With the others around, Mingi didn’t want to push you any further. It was clear that you were bothered by something but you weren’t going to tell him. 

Luckily the boys insisted on dropping you home first. With quick goodbyes, you rushed up to your house with your bags. As you fumbled around with the passcode for your door, you heard giggling and chattering inside and your heart slowed down, not being as erratic as before. Finally, you opened the door.

“Haneul.” You let out a long, shaky sigh of relief.

“Unnie!” The girl left Wooyoung and ran over to you. You felt your legs give out as you wrapped your arms around her. Honestly, you didn’t even know why you were so scared or worried.

“Are you okay?” Haneul frowned. She reached out to grasped your mask, wanting to pull it down but you held her wrist gently.

“I’m fine. You must have been scared, huh?” You brushed the stray hairs away from her face.

“Nope! I waited in front like you told me. Then Wooyoung oppa came. We had burgers! And I had a yummy strawberry milkshake. It was really big but I ate it all.” She rambled.

“Wow, you did? I’m sure it was yummy. It sounds like you had a great time with Wooyoung oppa.” You laughed, hugging her again.

“Maybe I should take my leave.” Wooyoung stood up.

“No... Uh... Hang on. We should talk. But let me settle down first.” You told him. 

“Of course, take your time.” He nodded his head and sat back down as Haneul ran back to him to play. You looked at the adoration in his eyes as he played with her excitedly. You moved the bags that you had with you to the bedroom, deciding to unpack later. After that, you gave Haneul a quick shower and changed her clothes into some comfy pajamas. 

“Can you sit here and watch cartoons, baby? I’ll be there with Wooyoung oppa.” You asked as you settled her on the couch, turning the television on. Haneul nodded her head.

“Big people talk?” She asked.

“Yeah. I promise I won’t be long.” You stroked her head. She nodded again, eyes already more focused on the show rather than you. 

“Come. Let’s talk in the kitchen.” You said and Wooyoung followed you. He seemed to notice how distraught you were, reaching out to rub your arm in a comforting way. 

“It’s okay.” He whispered. With a very long sigh, you pulled your mask away. Wooyoung’s eyes widened, unsure of what to do and how to react. Despite everything that happened, he wasn’t expecting you to remove your mask. 

“I guess I should tell you everything and who that is.” You nodded over to the little girl on the couch.

“Y-You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure after helping me out of the blue, you would be confused. The least I should do is explain the situation.” You shrugged. Wooyoung nodded his head as you went to get yourself some water. 

“That’s Haneul. She is a child that’s been under my care since... practically since birth. She is technically my cousin but her parents wanted to put her up for adoption so I have her under my care instead. And I’ve been providing for her ever since.” You spoke cautiously.

“But the place I picked her up from..” Wooyoung frowned in confusion.

“Is an orphanage, I know. The lady that runs the place has very kindly helped me to look after Haneul. I give her money to care for Haneul and send her to school. In return, she doesn’t give her up for adoption.” You explained.

“I see.” Was all Wooyoung said. He looked like he had a lot of thoughts as he was processing your words.

“The old lady called me to tell me she was going to the hospital. That means the government would send another person down to care for the kids.” 

“That’s why you had to get her out so quickly. In case the person notices her there as not a kid for adoption.” Wooyoung pieced your words together. You nodded in confirmation.

“So thank you for helping me and getting her out of there.” You said.

“Hey, it’s no problem at all. I’m glad I got there in time. At least she is safe and you aren’t in trouble.” Wooyoung squeezed your hand. 

“Haneul is San’s sister’s name too.” Wooyoung said, looking at the couch where Haneul was.

“So I learnt.” You smiled softly as you cast a look at Haneul too. There was more you wanted to explain to Wooyoung, like why you didn’t want to let this child go when there was probably a much better family out there that could care for her and give her a proper living environment. But it was too much to get into now and you weren’t ready.

“If Haneul needs to stay with you for a bit and you need help watching her, I’ll be more than happy to. Just let me know. If I’m free, I’ll come by and help take care of her.” Wooyoung assured. 

“Thanks.” You bowed your head. Wooyoung wrapped his arms around you, giving you the most comforting hug. 

“Don’t shoulder everything on your own.” He whispered.

“This a lot for me right now. So I won’t be telling the others and introducing them to Haneul yet, just until I settle for a bit.” You chewed on your lip as you told him. 

“Of course. I won’t say a word.” Wooyoung promised. He hugged you again, knowing that you really needed it. That was when you couldn’t even control it, stray tears spilling from your eyes as you rested on his shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay.” 

“This has never happened before... I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared.” You tried to catch your breath. 

“Don’t put those scary thoughts in your head.” He rubbed your back. You weren’t worried if you got in trouble. But you didn’t want Haneul to possibly suffer. If they relocated her through the system, you knew you would go crazy trying to find her. It was just risky and scary. 

“Sorry.” You pulled away, turning around to wipe your tears. Despite the wet patch on his shirt, Wooyoung didn’t mind. In fact, he was worried seeing you so vulnerable and scared. 

“I can stay with you if you need...” 

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for everything. I wouldn’t want the others to suspect anything.” You forced a smile. 

“No need to thank me.” He gave a friendly peck to your temple. If you didn’t need/ want Wooyoung to stay, he wasn’t going to insist. He walked around the couch. The little girl peeled her eyes away from the screen to look at him. 

“I’m going to go, Haneulie. I’ll see you soon.” He waved. 

“Why are you going Wooyoung oppa?” Haneul frowned, obviously unhappy that her new friend was leaving so soon. 

“Wooyoung has to go home, baby.” You explained. Haneul looked at you, suddenly reaching out to be held by you. You supported her waist as she stood on the couch, her small hands touching your cheeks.

“Did you cry?” She asked.

“No, silly. I just had something in my eye.” You shook your head as you assured her. You weren’t sure if she bought it. Despite not wanting Wooyoung to go, Haneul reluctantly hugged him goodbye. She kissed his cheek and he returned it with a shower of kisses, making her squeal out in laughter. You waved and bowed as Wooyoung left your house. 

“Shall we have a bath? I got new bubble soap.” You told her. That sold her immediately as she jumped off the couch and ran off to the bathroom excitedly.

Once Haneul was asleep, you unpacked your bags, did the laundry and had some food. As you sat at your work desk with your food, you wondered how would you go to the studio with her now.  

“Right, Hanuel’s school.” The first thing you did was send an email to the administration to let them know you would be taking her out of school for a while. 

*BZZ BZZ*

‘I’m free tomorrow in the morning. I can come stay with Haneul while you go unpack your studio stuff. - Wooyoung’

‘Really? That would actually be perfect. I was just wondering how I should go to the studio to get my stuff tomorrow. I’ll probably tell Eden I have to work from my home studio for a bit. - Indigo’

‘Sure, no problem. I’ll come by at 9? - Wooyoung’

‘Yes, thank you so much. - Indigo’

You let out a sigh of relief, so grateful for Wooyoung being able to help you. At least you could go into the office, unpack your equipment and take what you would need for home. And at the same time, come up with some excuse to tell Eden why you will be working from home more. 

“I should get some groceries delivered.” You clicked around your computer. Whenever Haneul was here, you would try to cook some healthy food for her with better ingredients. It was your way of spoiling her. 

“Beef, mushrooms, seaweed, yoghurt, bananas...” You skimmed through the cart. Beside you, your phone buzzed again. You assumed it was Wooyoung calling and picked up without looking.

“Yes, Wooyoung?” 

“Uh, it’s not Wooyoung...” The much deeper voice spoke. You frowned in confusion, lifting the phone slightly to see the contact.

“Oh, sorry about that, Mings. I thought you were Wooyoung, I just picked up without looking. What’s up?” You asked, leaning back in your chair. You rubbed your eyes tiredly.

“Is everything okay? I noticed that you seemed upset in the bus earlier. I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.” 

“I am, Mings. Thanks for asking and calling to check in. I think I was just tired and thinking about work. But I’m feeling a lot better now.” You said.

“Alright, I’m glad you’re okay. You should rest, I won’t bother you anymore. Goodnight, Indigo.”

“Mingi, you’re not-” You couldn’t even finish your reply before he hung up. As you leaned forward in your folded arms, you let out a long sigh. You hoped that you didn’t sound too exasperated and exhausted to make him think that he was bothering you. You knew that Mingi had good intentions, he was kind and cared for you a lot. 

“Goodnight, Mingi.” You said, even though he wasn’t there to hear you. With that, you shuffled into bed. You watched Haneul for a while, moving her hair away from her face. 

“I’m so glad you’re here with me. I love you.” You kissed her head before falling asleep.

Mingi stared at his phone. He knew he shouldn’t have hung up on you and he was feeling terrible. Honestly, he didn’t even know why he hung up so abruptly. But you thinking that it was initially Wooyoung calling you made him feel weird. 

Plus, Wooyoung came back late, avoiding everyone’s questions of where he was or just giving vague answers, which wasn’t like him. He was always ready to share and tell every single detail.

Unless he had something to hide... Did Wooyoung meet you? 

“Argh. Why am I like this?!” Mingi buried his face into his pillow, letting out muffled anguished screams. 

“Princess Mingi, what are you doing?” Someone asked, leaning against the door. Mingi’s head shot up in shock as he whipped around, only to sigh in relief when he saw that it was Yunho.

“Nothing. I’m literally doing nothing.” Mingi groaned. 

“O...kay? Anyway, San and I are jumping on the game. Are you going to join us? You weren’t answering in the group chat. Again.” Yunho scoffed with his arms crossed. He hated how his best friend always muted his message notifications and that ended up with Yunho having to be Mingi’s message relayer. 

“No, I’m tired.” Mingi flopped down onto the bed, whining. Yunho rolled his eyes at Mingi’s dramatisation before closing the door. Grabbing his phone, Mingi opened his notes app. 

“Were you disappointed that it was me on the other end?” Mingi leaned back against the headboard, typing out the lines that came to his head.

“I know I’m probably not as good but I promise I still care.” He rapped out the line that he wrote. 

Even if these weren’t going to be lyrics for the next song, Mingi always had the habit to just pen down thoughts and observations in that moment. Who knows? It could be useful in the future for group albums or individual projects.

Mingi didn’t sleep much, his mind was racing and too busy to sleep. When he came out of the room to get a drink, he saw Wooyoung dressed and ready to go out, having a coffee in the kitchen. 

“Oh, Mangi ah.” Wooyoung acknowledged.

“Hey... Going out so early?” Mingi asked as he headed to the fridge. Wooyoung hummed in reply. But he didn’t say anything more. 

“What about you? Why are you up so early?” Wooyoung turned the conversation back onto him.

“Couldn’t sleep so I tried to do some writing. Didn’t think the sun was up already.” Mingi explained. Wooyoung just nodded, finishing his coffee. Mingi’s eyes followed him as he washed his mug then placed it on the drying rack. When Wooyoung waved goodbye to Mingi, the taller did return the gesture but quietly followed him to the door.

“Ouh?... Yeah, I’m on the way. Shouldn’t take too long.” Wooyoung spoke to someone on the phone. Althought Mingi couldn’t hear the words of the reply from the other person, it was a female’s voice. 

“No, I’m not rushing. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” He chuckled. 

“Want coffee? I can pick it up on the way... It’s no issue at all...” The other didn’t even notice Mingi there as he slipped his shoes on and left the shared dorm. 

Although Mingi hated that he intruded on practically his brother’s privacy, he couldn’t help but wonder, did Wooyoung have a secret relationship and didn’t tell anyone? 

“Oh, Mingi ah. You’re awake so early. Why are you standing at the doorway?” Hongjoong stood there, yawning. The captain was dressed up too, ready to go out as he adjusted the beanie over his messy hair.

“Nothing. Headed out?” Mingi asked.

“Yeah, Eden hyung asked me to come in to the studio for a bit.” He explained with another yawn. 

“Wanna come with?” Hongjoong offered. 

“Actually... Sure. Let me get ready.” Mingi downed the rest of the drink and went to put his cup in the kitchen. Hongjoong waved him off, tiredly flopping onto the couch to snooze while waiting for Mingi. The taller boy went to take a quick shower and brush his teeth. 

“Let’s go, hyung.” Mingi came out. Hongjoong pushed himself to get up from the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. The two rappers went downstairs where their manager drove them to the studio. 

“Thanks for understanding, Eden. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Hongjoong and Mingi heard you from the studio door that was left ajar.

“It’s alright, Indigo. Don’t apologise. If you need any help, just let us know.” Eden replied. 

“Sure, thanks. I’ll still be contactable through calls and stuff so any time you need me, just ring me.” You assured. Eden walked out with you, seeing Mingi and Hongjoong standing there.

“Hey, Indigo. You alright?” Hongjoong frowned, worried.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, you two. It’s nothing serious.” You laughed and punched the both of them on the arm to loosen up. 

“I’ve got to go. Thanks again, Eden. Bye, Joong. Bye, Mings.” You waved and grabbed your bags with the equipment you were taking. The three of them watched you disappear down the lift before going in with Eden.

“What was that about? Is Indigo leaving?” Hongjoong asked. Mingi didn’t say anything, letting the captain do most of the talking and asking. He was feeling a horrible mix of worry and curiosity that he didn’t trust his words now. What if you were really leaving KQ? Eden rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to tell the boys. 

“No, she’s not leaving KQ. She’s only working remotely for now. I don’t know much but she said something happened at home where she has to be there.” Eden explained.

“Oh... She didn’t mention anything to us... Mingi?” Hongjoong turned to the taller rapper, who shook his head, confirming that he didn’t hear from you.

“Indigo works well online anyway so I’m not too worried about it. She just... She seemed stressed. More than usual.” Eden sighed.

“I know you will want to check in on her, which is fine. But let’s give her some space for now.” Eden added before Hongjoong could say anything. He knew that all the boys cared for you, they were just that nice and caring. 

~

Series Masterlist

[vague-bisexual-crimes]

Monday - “children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth.”

RAIN MOTIF RAIN MOTIF RAIN MOTIF!!!

as @greeen-bean already said: autistic Angel. You agree

Love Juliet but baby how do you forget to pass along that you’ve also invited another friend when surely this is all you and Angel have been talking about for months

That being said ohhh Angel and Juliet <3

Still obsessed with the last paragraph of chapter one where it describes the photo of The Ark from @ ArkUpdates twitter and Angel describing them as “the Beatles on Abbey Road, or a group of toddlers holding hands on a preschool trip to the park”

Rowan calling Jimmy Jimjam is sooooooo. Your honor they love each other.

Always and forever love that right off the bat Jimmy hits you with “my friends at very hot and I love them so much” realest of all time.

“It’s nothing new. We’ve done this before. What’s whirring?” He taps his temple and looks at me. What’s whirring. I love Rowan. He says words like he made them up. Probably why he’s our lyricist.

Jimmy’s little trans flag he always wears makes me emo

Rowan undoes his seat belt, pats me gently on the cheek, pinches Lister’s nose, and says, “Let’s walk, lads”

The girl’s aren’t anything new. They’re always there, somewhere, waiting for us. I don’t mind really. Jimmy I don’t know how to tell you that if they didn’t bother you, you wouldn’t have described them like stalkers.

Jimmy’s “California, baby,” makes me giggle. That’s it it’s just very funny.

Rowan just get no show socks you don’t need to suffer leather shoes no socks

I think Rowan’s right to hate their fans even at the start of the book 🤷‍♀️ they don’t have the right to demand things of him (pictures, autographs, follow-back on ig) and even tho he hasn’t been you know bricked in the head yet but he’s still spent the better part of his teens being obsessed over and having fans invade his privacy and personal space. Anyway.

I don't [take pictures with fans] anymore. I don’t go anywhere near them anymore. I don’t mind waving and smiling, and I’m grateful, definitely grateful that they’re here and supporting us and loving us, but…they scare me. And this is perfectly normal for someone who is not bothered by his fans and definitely doesn’t have severe anxiety.

LET THE ARK HOLD HANDS 2024!!!

Angel the pinnacle of mental healthiness: Fortunately for us, I’m excellent at faking being okay with things, even when inside my brain there is a tiny screaming gnome who is definitely not okay.

Poor Angel having to unexpectedly hang out with an 18 yo boy :/

If Mac has no haters, Angel is dead.

Let’s hear it for aroace Angel Rahimi!!!

Very important to me that the fans/public don’t know Lister is bi they just think he is

Angel’s parasocial relationship with Jimmy goes hard I will say it.

Jimmy just accept that you’re a music snob, it’s okay, it’s actually very real of you

“Would you really take a bullet for them?” “Yeah, I think so.” AUGHJFHSKE !!!!!!!!!??!:$(&/&’cl

The Ark loves theatricality.

Our platform starts to rise into the air. The light changes and I glance around to look at the LED screen. It’s a giant Renaissance painting of an armored woman wielding a sword. Joan.

[mrschwartz]

The New Cue #273 March 27: James Ford

James Ford gave an interview for The New Cue which was published earlier today. Here are the parts where he mentions Alex or Arctic Monkeys:

"How naturally did it come writing lyrics?

I’m definitely noticed working with a lot of great lyricists - I notice people like Alex Turner will be constantly thinking about lyrics and taking snippets from people’s conversations and jotting stuff down in his notepad. I definitely don’t think in those terms, a lot of the time I’m very much into melody and chords and feel, but I felt like I opened a little extra door in my brain when I suddenly started thinking about lyrics, seeing little things and thinking, ‘Oh, I’m gonna have that.’

(...)

The defining relationship in your production career is your work with Arctic Monkeys, which goes all the way back to their second record Favourite Worst Nightmare. Can you give me an insight into how a modern Arctic Monkeys record is made, I think a lot of people find their dynamic quite intriguing.

Yeah, that’s the thing, even within one band, it changes every record. With the most recent record, Alex is getting very into recording stuff himself. He’s a polymath at the best of times, he plays everything, he’s into the sonics of it and he’s obviously writing the songs for the most part. He does pretty great demos on this thing called a Tascam 38-8, it’s like an eight-track tape machine and it’s got a real vibey sound. He’ll come in with pretty well-formed ideas at this point, it definitely used to be less formed when they came in, although they’ve always been pretty well organised.

I seem to remember the writing process for The Car was quite long, he went to and fro with a few different direct directions. He definitely did a fair amount of writing, he had his own studio in London somewhere and Jamie [Cook, guitarist] and the band were coming in and out, jamming, then he’d do four or five different versions of the same song with different tempos and he’d played some of them to me and I’d be like, ‘Oh, that one’s sounding great.’ Then eventually, he came in and did some stuff in here, where we’d get his demos up, and maybe do some structural stuff and think about how we would actually record it. The last record was in a pandemic still so we couldn’t go abroad to a studio that we’ve been to quite a lot. We went to this country house in Suffolk, which involved pulling my studio apart and renting loads of stuff. It was quite a big technical thing. I just remember doing loads of wiring, plugging in the studio, getting it to work. The recording set-up was quite slapdash in a lot of ways but it ended up being a really lovely experience out there and we got it sounding really good after a bit of luck and a bit of hard work. After that, we brought it back here and me and Al did the string arrangements, pushing notes around on the screen. Then we went and got the string stuff done with this girl called Bridget Samuels who’s brilliant, she translated it into all the dots and that. Then I mixed it in this room.

It sounds like quite an insular process.

Yeah, it’s funny, I’ve known them so long now. I’ve been working with quite a lot of new bands and you get this energy and respect or something that you have in a new relationship and it counts for quite a lot. People will try stuff out that they wouldn’t normally try. But with the Monkeys, it’s a totally different thing where there’s this deep trust that we’ve grown up together.

So there’s a shorthand?

Yeah, that’s the thing. Me and Alex, our music tastes have grown together, I’ve introduced him and he’s introduced me to so much different music and there’s so much that you don’t even have to bother explaining. But sometimes that’s good and bad. I do often think it would be interesting to see what they did with someone else at this point, not that I’d really want them to, but I think that maybe they should, or it might be like a marriage where it just wouldn’t work. It’s a funny thing, but I still definitely try and push him as hard as I can. I’m aware I don’t want him to settle into a comfort zone and it just become boring, you’re trying to keep finding ways to move forward and do new things.

Which record that you’ve been involved with across your career that you think is underrated?

Maybe just because we’ve been talking about Alex, but I remember really liking this one called Belladonna Of Sadness by Alexandra Savior that me and Al did. I remember really enjoying making that and thinking it sounded great, but no-one ever really heard it. There’s lots of ones that you think are gonna do great but don’t, then ones that you’re not so keen on that suddenly have this life of their own."

[yonceknowles]

Thank you for talking about sza because I feel like she is super underrated even if she’s mainstream. Lyrically, she’s amazing, clever and i love her vulnerability. Makes me sad people write her off or categorize her material as ‘toxic’ and ‘childish’ when she goes in depth about her feelings in a relationship, that is normal for anyone to go through idk it bothers me lol

i’ve been thinking about this lately and folks who aren’t emotionally mature or have this facade that’s like fuck love react to vulnerability as if it’s childish to be sensitive and can express it. it’s interesting (negative) and saying this from experience cus i had my edgy phase too when i was a teenager and early 20s.

with that said, you spilled. her pen is extremely underrated and i’m pretty sure it’s cus of the style of music she makes and how she’s perceived, as if being emotional and raw vulnerability is such a nuisance. y’all act like y’all never had toxicity in a bad relationship lol please be fr. i do love how playful she gets when she throws in media references so seamlessly. obsessed with her mind. enjoying how successful she’s getting and is but people really don’t appreciate her as a lyricist and writer enough for me

[koizumicchi]

俺無しじゃ生きていけない？ (愛蔵 of LIP×LIP) English Translation

俺無しじゃ生きていけない？   Ore nashi ja Ikite Ikenai? Can’t You Live Without Me?

Aizou of LIP×LIP CV: Shimazaki Nobunaga

Composer: Gom Lyricist: shito, Gom Arranger: HoneyWorks

watch the MV here!

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T/N: Congratulations on your MV, Aizou! And the warmest congratulations to LIP×LIP, for being chosen as the Izumo Tourism Ambassadors! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

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ずっと好きとか永遠とか 一生信じてやるから 他のやつにシッポ振んなよ 首輪とっちまうぞいいの？

Zutto suki toka eien toka Isshō shinjite yaru kara Hoka no yatsu ni shippo fun na yo Kubi wa tocchimau zo ī no?

Something like I’Il love you forever, for eternity I will believe it my whole life Don’t wag your tail at the others Can I put a collar on you?

(Wow, yeah)

俺がいね―とダメなやつだな 撮影にレッスンに構ってらんね― 気まぐれに甘えてきても 「ダメなものはダメ」

Ore ga inee to dame na yatsu da na Satsue ni lesson ni kamatteran ne Kimagure ni amaete kite mo “Dame na mono wa dame”

You are someone hopeless without me You pay no attention to our lessons for photoshoot Even if I spoil you whimsically "When I say no, it’s a no”

Eh?

命��（はーい！） Meirei: (Hai!) Command: Yes!

なるべく早く帰るから いい子にして待ってろよな 腹空かせて帰るから お前の得意なやつで

Narubeku hayaku kaeru kara ī ko ni shite mattero yo na Hara sukasete kaeru kara Omae no tokui na yatsu de

I’ll be back as soon as I can Be a good boy and wait for me I’ll be back when you’re hungry With the one you’re good at

ずっと好きとか永遠とか 一生信じてやるから 他のやつにシッポ振んなよ 首輪とっちまうぞいいの？ 一度しか言わねえぞこっち来い 今なら許してやるよ つまり俺がいいよ

Zutto suki toka eien toka Isshō shinjite yaru kara Hoka no yatsu ni shippo fun na yo Kubi wa tocchimau zo ī no? Ichido shika iwanē zo kocchi ni koi yo Ima nara yurushite yaru yo Tsumari ore ga ī yo

Something like I’Il love you forever, for eternity I will believe it my whole life Don’t wag your tail at the others Can I put a collar on you? I’ll say it only once, come here I’ll forgive you for now In other words, I’m the one for you

(Wow, yeah)

休日たまには一人なりたい ワガママの相手も疲れるし 俺の周りどいつもこいつも 俺無しじゃ生きていけない？  

Kyuujitsu tama ni wa hitori ni naritai Wagamama no aite mo tsukarerushi Ore no mawari doitsu mo koitsu mo Ore nashi ja ikite ikenai?

I want to be alone sometimes on my day-offs I also get tired of my self-indulgent partner The people around me Cannot live without me?

（はーい！） (Hai!) Yes!

日曜日の約束は 月曜日の憂鬱を忘れるくらい 最高な一日にしてやるから

Nichiyoubi no yakusoku wa Getsuyoubi no yuutsu wo wasureru kurai Saikou na ichinichi ni shite yaru kara

The Sunday’s promise is  Enough to forget Monday’s melancholy ‘Cause we will make it the most amazing day

どんな服着てで かけようか 見合うに男になりたい 分かってないだろう俺の気持ち 意外と初心なんですよ

Donna fuku kite dekakeyou ka Miau no otoko ni naritai Wakattenai darou, ore no kimochi Igai to ubu nandesu yo

What clothes should I wear going out I want to be the man who matches you You probably don’t get this feelings of mine  I'm unexpectedly new at this

何でも言ってる  俺を選べよ めんどくさい俺のことを つまり愛してくれ

Nando demo itteru ore no erabe yo Mendokusai ore no koto wo Tsumari, aishite kure

No matter what I say, choose me The me who is a bother to you What I mean is, love me

(Wow, yeah)

なるべく早く帰るから いい子にして待ってろよな 腹空かせて帰るから お前の得意なやつで

Narubeku hayaku kaeru kara ī ko ni shite mattero yo na Hara sukasete kaeru kara Omae no tokui na yatsu de

I’ll be back as soon as I can Be a good boy and wait for me I’ll be back when you’re hungry With the one you’re good at

ずっと好きとか永遠とか 一生信じてやるから 他のやつにシッポ振んなよ 首輪とっちまうぞいいの？ 一度しか言わねえぞこっち来い 今なら許してやるよ つまり俺がいいよ

Zutto suki toka eien toka Isshō shinjite yaru kara Hoka no yatsu ni shippo fun na yo Kubi wa tocchimau zo ī no? Ichido shika iwanē zo kocchi ni koi yo Ima nara yurushite yaru yo Tsumari ore ga ī yo

Something like I’Il love you forever, for eternity I will believe it my whole life Don’t wag your tail at the others Can I put a collar on you? I’ll say it only once, come here I’ll forgive you for now In other words, I’m the one for you

俺にしとけ Ore ni shitoke Decide on me

[earlgreytea68]

Hello! You recently mentioned that you were listening to Taylor Swift’s new album quite a lot, and honestly, same ))) I wanted to know what songs are your fave, obvs, but also, which ones you find more interesting, captivating, clever? Which one got the best lyrics, which one best music and rhythm? Basically, what I’m trying to say, talk Midnights to me, please :)) P.S. I almost forgot to ask, if any of the songs got you thinking of fob?)

With pleasure!!

My favorite song on Midnights is Question...? and my favorite, like, passage of Midnights is Question...?, Vigilante Shit, and Bejewelled. I adore every single one of those songs and I think that's the strongest stretch of three songs on the whole album. I have seen some hate for Bejewelled and some of its lyrics make me cringe but also like it's totally what I would want to play as an anthem to perk myself up.

I actually love all the songs on the album, except for Labyrinth, which I find a bit dull, tbh, but that happens! But this album just *moves* and it's full of great refrains and the usual perfect bridges and sometimes I think Jack Antonoff gets to be a bit too self-indulgent of his quirks (I really hate the effect on the bridge of Question...?) but mostly I love when Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift make music together and I appreciated that this album just felt...really fun and less earnest than evermore? I love folklore, but evermore just kind of felt like too much to me, and I'm happy to be going back to having more fun.

I've listened to Question...? the most, and I was just thinking as I was listening to it tonight that I feel like it's kind of crept in to influence my Christmasfic this year, like, its attitude full of "what if"s, and that line about "I just may like to have a conversation," like, all my characters about each other hahaha they're all longing for a conversation. Idk, the relationship in Question...? just feels so instantly complex and interesting to me, like, I want to know so much more about those two people.

Sweet Nothing is kind of a theme song for all of my characters, though, I feel like every fic I write is about a Sweet Nothing kind of love.

Mastermind is totally a Mattrick song from Swan Song. It doesn't sound like a song Matt would sing or write, but it's a song Matt would *think,* if that makes sense.

In general I really appreciated how this album was Taylor kind of accepting that you've got be a bit of a schemer to be a success, which is a theme of Swan Song, too, and so it resonated with me. I mean, Anti-Hero is also very Matt Usher: One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming. I like to see Taylor owning "I'm smart and that's okay."

Okay, my favorite lyric on the whole album is: I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails. ...Ugh, I just love that line.

I also love, also from Mastermind, "I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian because I care," ha, makes me laugh.

Mastermind is just so tropey, she just writes a trope song so well, that's just a full story, beginning to end, and when you're done you think, ...I've read that fic and it was GREAT, Idk. Her songs can sometimes feel like an entire ship, self-contained.

"Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man," is, I think, a great opening line, even though I've seen some people hating on it. I think it's great! And I also enjoy "situation-ship" as a term in Glitch. And "no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire" from Dear Reader.

In general I like the refrain of Karma and appreciate what she's doing there but "karma is a god" just always completely throws me, it's, like, all these metaphors of what karma is and it just feels like that one could also be personal to Taylor: her cat, her boyfriend, her beautiful weekends, her relaxing thoughts....a god. Idk, it bothers me every single time I hear it lol

Okay, so, Fall Out Boy-wise. Taylor Swift is on the record that Pete Wentz is basically her favorite lyricist of all time and that she's been influenced by him, and sometimes I feel like I can sense that influence. Sometimes she does something and I think, That's a total Pete Wentz move. And sometimes it works, but sometimes I think it just doesn't work, because actually what Pete Wentz does is incredibly hard and he makes it look like just anyone can stumble into all those perfect double and triple meanings but it's really, really hard to do. So, to be unkind, that "Get it off your chest, get it off my desk" in "Lavendar Haze" reminds me of a Pete Wentz move, to take an idiom with words in common and juxtapose them (like broken hearts and broken stallions that I just wrote about). But to me it doesn't work here, I don't get it, what are you getting off your desk, why are these two things going together? Is it that you're talking about her relationship and she doesn't want it on her desk? Idk, I just feel like the juxtaposition there doesn't really add anything. She does it again in The Great War: You drew up some good faith treaties, I drew curtains closed. I feel like that one is slightly more successful.

I also appreciate when a Taylor song picks up some Pete Wentz tropes, like in Maroon when she's like "laughing with my feet in your lap like you were my closest friend," or in "You're on Your Own, Kid," with "He's gonna notice me, it's okay, we're the best of friends," yeah, Pete Wentz also is always trying to figure out if someone is his lover or his best friend lol.

Also, "don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart" could have been the name of one of Pete Wentz's LJ entries lolololol

And High Infidelity is such a Fall Out Boy title, Pete Wentz is kicking himself he didn't think of it first

Ironically my very least favorite lyrics on the album are from her collaboration with her other favorite lyricist of all time. I just find Snow on the Beach unbearable lyric-wise, it's just...too much? Like, trying too hard the whole way through? And then culminating in lines I absolutely hate: Your eyes are flying saucers from another planet, I'm all for you like Janet. I just cannot with those two lines. So, I've always had this great fantasy of what could come of a Pete Wentz / Taylor Swift team-up and then I heard Snow on the Beach and was like, ...Idk, never mind lol

[flipomatic]

Not Yet

Why was Mafuyu in the Sekai? That was a question Ena had asked her when she arrived, in a rude tone of course, one she hadn’t been able to answer even as her hands clung tightly to her notebook. She hadn’t even brought a pen.

Her feet had brought her there, creating a long stretch of tracks between her room and the large empty space. Leaving behind the conversation she had with her mother, the probing questions and long stares. Mafuyu knew that at some point she would need to go back.

Not yet.

It was just the two of them today, artist and lyricist together once again. Mizuki’s kotatsu was still set up near one of the spikes, with a few cushions scattered around it. Ena lounged in her favorite spot, though she would deny having one if asked, with most of her body tucked under the heated blanket. She was dressed casually, as she usually did.

Mafuyu sat across from her, still in her school uniform from the day, allowing her legs to be warmed by the device. Her notebook lied on the table in front of her, the nondescript title returning her stare. She hadn’t opened it, hadn’t so much as looked for a pen. Her hands were placed on the table as well, fingers half curled against the hard surface.

Ena, on the other hand, was still hard at work. After rolling her eyes at Mafuyu’s inability to explain why she was there, she flipped to a new page in her sketchbook and just kept drawing. Her pencil made a small scratching sound with each new line and change.

It couldn’t be seen properly from this side of the table, and Mafuyu wasn’t looking. Her mind was wandering back along the path, tracing her steps back and reliving her words. There was something off, something unsettling about before. She didn’t know what it was or even if it was a problem.

Frowning, Mafuyu’s eyes came up for a moment. They locked onto Ena’s, which were surprisingly looking right at her. Narrowed brown eyes, carrying emotion Mafuyu wished she could channel herself.

“Is something bothering you today?” Ena asked, breaking eye contact to continue her sketch. “You’re more prickly than usual.” She continued without waiting for a response.

“Am I?” Mafuyu asked, considering what Ena meant by that. Prickly was an unusual word, not something she typically used to describe herself.

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Ena replied bluntly, tapping the back of her pencil on the table a few times.

Well, that was something to consider then. “I’m not really sure.” Mafuyu admitted, overlapping the tips of her fingers on the table. It was the truth; she didn’t know how she felt.

Ena set her pencil down, and then began lifting the page of her sketchbook. Rather than turning it as she usually did, a ripping sound could be heard as she tore the page away. Mafuyu watched as she carefully extracted it from the rest of the book.

“Here.” Ena said, spinning the paper and then sliding it across the table towards Mafuyu. “This is how you look to me. Pretty snippy I’d say.”

Mafuyu’s eyes widened as she recognized her own face in the drawing. Even sketched in pencil, Ena had managed to capture her image immaculately. But that wasn’t all there was to it.

No, in her own eyes Mafuyu could see the shadows, could see the pain at the corner of her frown and creased forehead. Hints of emotion, of confusion and discontent, lingered across her expression. Even if she wasn’t sure she felt them, Ena had been able to see them.

This was how she looked today, how she truly was. She glanced back up at her fellow circle member, who had already started a new drawing.

“Thank you.”

Ena’s cheeks dusted pink, with the barest hint of a smile gracing her lips.

Soon Mafuyu would need to leave, to return home.

Not yet.

[faithinlouisfuture]

Solo louies have all the shit to say about us larries when you do exactly the same shit! I see all of you shipping louis with both the cute band members from his band even making threesome jokes which is disgusting. How are you any different from us?

Hello my pressed and bothered friend,

Since you asked, let me elaborate for you in somewhat detail while using relatively simple words since I know your side of the fandom is used to being fed “information” through first grade style diagrams and infographics.

The difference is:

- solo louies recognize that Louis Tomlinson is first and foremost an artist, who we have the privilege to even perceive in the first place because he wants to get his art out into the world (I say art cuz you see our baby’s mad multitalented; musician, lyricist, fashion designer, fashion icon, music industry mogul, British pop rock royalty just to name a few)

- solo louies know that when any of us talk about Louis with Matt or Michael (that’s the names of the two cute guys btw, obviously you wouldn’t know the names of the people in Louis’ band, I’m not surprised at all) it is a joke! A light hearted way to have fun and imagine a good time for Louis. You see how none of us have “loumatter” or “whatever the ship name is for Louis & Michael” in our cards?!? Cuz that not how we define ourselves. That’s not how we define our fandom experience. That’s not what or who we’re here for. Literally all that matters is Louis.

- you will never see any of us at Louis’ solo world tour with signs asking him to sing a song that is already on his set list to confirm if loumatt is real. Or dress up dolls of Louis and Michael as bride and groom and wave them in Louis’ face. Or sing one of Michael or Matt’s songs outside of his tour bus. Or associate colors to either boys and then trick Louis’ team members into sharing stories with those colors on their socials and then celebrate that madness as a victory or proof *rolls eyes into back of head*

- you will also never see solo louies associate anything and everything that Louis does/says/wears as proof of him “signalling” to let us know that he’s with either of them.

That’s the difference anon. It is a literal joke when we do it, let people have fun things. It’s not a way of life for us, and we’re not living our lives trying to prove it’s real. We’re literally just having some fun, you remember what that is?

[deus-ex-mona]

TO THE NEXT: Chapter 2

convenient exposition courtesy of aiyuu incoming—

previous part (chapter 1)

next part (chapter 3)

mona: There’s no way that anyone could enter this industry with a half-hearted resolution like “I’m gonna vanish soon anyway”.

IV: Aren’t you guys just all talk?

Aizo: We’ll prove to you that we’re not just all talk.

Yujiro: We’ll do it with our performance on the day of the live.

IV: I’m glad to see that you fellow co-stars are all highly-motivated. My members will be delighted as well.

Minami: When you say “my members”...

Minami: Are you saying that Full Throttle4 will be performing at the live too?!

IV: Yeah, isn’t that a given?

IV: …It’s already gotten this late, huh? I’m sorry, but I have other business to attend to after this.

IV: I’ll contact you all again later with more information. Good work today, everyone.

Later—

Hiyori: Well then, I’m gonna get ready for us to go to the recording site, so wait here, okay, you two?

Aizo: Y’know, this has been bothering me for a while now, but…

Aizo: Why is IV the organiser of the live?

Yujiro: Isn’t it because he’s IV of Full Throttle4?

Aizo: What the heck…? Don’t give me such a half-assed answer.

Yujiro: It’s not half-assed. Haven’t you heard about how much influence IV has?

Yujiro: He’s the manager slash absolute leader of the dance-vocal unit Full Throttle4.

Yujiro: In addition to that, he’s their DJ, lyricist, composer, and the one who arranges their music. He truly is an almighty presence, isn’t he?

Aizo: So he’s responsible for everything in Full Throttle4. But, if he’s so great, why is he only working behind the scenes?

Yujiro: I don’t know the details about it either, but I heard that he was the one who wanted to be the manager.

Aizo: Even though he’s good-looking and beautiful? What a waste.

Yujiro: I’m sure everyone thinks the same way too.

Yujiro: IV’s diverse talents, coupled with his unique and overwhelming presence, have led him to receive attention from people all across the industry.

IV: Wow, I’m a little embarrassed to hear you speak of me to such an extent.

Aizo: Why are… you here?!

IV: I’m not here to eavesdrop on you two or anything, okay?

Aizo: That’s not it. Just why are you at our office?!

Yujiro: …Do you have business with President Tamura again? Like you did at that time.

IV: You two sure do have scary looks on your faces. Wouldn’t your Juliettas be saddened if they were to see them?

Aizo: …Did you come all this way just to provoke us?

IV: I just wanted to check in on the two of you.

IV: But… If I knew that you were going to think that I came to provoke you, maybe I should’ve done that instead.

Aizo: What's that supposed to mean…?!

Hiyori: Sorry for the wait, you two! We’re now ready to go.

Hiyori: …Wait, I-I-I’m sorry! I didn’t know we had a visitor…!

IV: Nah, it’s fine. We’re done here, aren’t we?

Yujiro & Aizo: …

IV: The next we meet will probably be at the rehearsals.

IV: I’ll be looking forward to your performance, LIPxLIP.

Yujiro: …By all means, please do.

Aizo: That’s what we would like of you, too.

IV: (I wonder if I teased them a little too much.)

IV: (LIPxLIP, mona, Minami…)

IV: (I hope that they will prove to be a good source of motivation for Full Throttle4.)

[blossom-hwa]

oooh what about brokenhearts.mp3 for your winter drabble game o.O thanks 🙏

brokenhearts.mp3............... anon you are a godsend for this request. thank you for sending this in, I'm sorry it took so long to write, but I do hope you enjoy this regardless :)

Winter break drabble game: send me a WIP and maybe a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble from that WIP for you!

REQUESTS CLOSED.

(it was really fun to write some snarky modern monologues for this holy shit, thank you anon <3)

~

Title: The Letter

WIP: brokenhearts.mp3

Pairing: Hongjoong x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.2k

Triggers: cursing

~

Hongjoong tries a letter first. 

He regrets it after half a day. 

See, it isn’t hard to write things about you. In fact, it’s actually too easy - there’s so much about you that Hongjoong loves, so many bits and quirks of your personality and the way you smile and the sparkle in your eyes under the sunlight. Seonghwa gets a peek of it once before Hongjoong can whisk it away, and that’s the most judgmental look he’s gotten from his best friend ever. 

And Hongjoong has done a lot of stupid stuff worthy of Seonghwa’s judgement. 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Seonghwa reassures later after Hongjoong has come down from his oh my god what the fuck was I thinking I can’t do this I’m going insane mental breakdown. “You’re a songwriter. A lyricist. A letter is actually a pretty good idea. I just... wow.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t realize you were that whipped.”

Hongjoong opens his mouth to tell Seonghwa that he is not, in fact, what the younger generations call whipped. One look from him wipes the words from his lips. So instead, he says he didn’t realize his best friend was young enough to even know the word and spends the next ten minutes running away as said best friend yells and chases him around the room.

See, dumping his ideas onto paper isn’t the hardest thing to do. There’s so much about you that Hongjoong could write about, so many melodies buried in the depths of his computer and notes cluttering his phone with lyrics about the way he feels for you. It’s putting it together that’s the problem. 

Because Hongjoong thinks. And overthinks. And overthinks some more over stuff that probably wouldn’t matter to the next person but that bothers him so much that he will rewrite the entire letter by hand to ensure that it’s perfect. And then he rereads it just to find another stupid mistake in it. 

“You’re overthinking,” Wooyoung says on one of his weekly break-into-Hongjoong-and-Seonghwa’s-apartment trips for food. “If Y/N likes you the same way, they’re not going to care about a couple of spelling mistakes. They’re not even going to care if you accidentally used the same description twice.”

“But what if they do?” Hongjoong wails from the little dining table. “What if they do care and they verbally eviscerate for daring to describe them the same way more than once -”

“Then they’re not someone you want to be with,” San cuts in. Right, bastard number two decided to come with Wooyoung and be a food thief as well. “Ooo, I like this pudding.”

Hongjoong buries his head in his hands and tries not to scream. 

In the end, though, the letter is done. It’s finished. It’s on a sheet of goddamn copy paper because Hongjoong is unfortunately too broke for nice paper, but it’s clean and neat and he’s doodled little flowers around the border too because you like to see the doodles on his notes, so he might as well add some to his stupid confession letter, right? His handwriting is as neat as it can be. The pen has smudged as little as possible. He even broke down and made Seonghwa read it for grammar errors, to which Seonghwa responded there are none. It could have just been a lie just to get Hongjoong off his back, but at this point, he’ll take anything. 

Heart pounding, he slips it between your notes in a class that you two share because he’s still too chicken to give it to you directly. He watches you put the notes into your bag, watches you smile and wave before you head to your next lecture and wish him luck studying in the library.

Your luck is fruitless because Hongjoong keeps waiting for a sign. A text. A call. Something to tell him that you read the letter and have some sort of response for him. 

It’s pouring rain when he leaves the library, still no response on his phone. He pulls out the umbrella Seonghwa probably snuck into his bag this morning knowing he’d forget, and sighs. Rain pounds overhead as he steps into the storm -

And then someone familiar rushes past with no umbrella over their head. 

“Y/N!”

You spin around, water splashing around your feet as you turn to Hongjoong. “Hongjoong?”

“Holy shit, do you not have an umbrella?” Hongjoong runs over, putting his own umbrella over your head. “Did you run from class or something?”

“I ran from the lab,” you say over the sound of the storm. “Oh god, thank you so much Hongjoong.”

“No worries,” he says, head spinning. Did you see the letter? It doesn’t look like you did, since you’re treating him the exact same way as before, but maybe you’re just acting like you haven’t seen it? “Come over to my apartment, we’ve got another umbrella I can lend you before you go back to your place.”

“You’re a godsend,” you say, gratefulness etched in every part of your expression. How can your eyes sparkle so much even in the rain? “Thanks, Joong.”

His heart flutters at the nickname. “No problem.”

After ten excruciating minutes in the rain, you two finally reach the apartment. Hongjoong helps you inside, kicking off his soaked shoes just as you dump your wet backpack on a chair. “I hope my laptop isn’t wet,” you mutter, opening it. “I don’t have money for a new one - oh, thank god.” You breathe a sigh of relief that quickly turns to annoyance. “Never mind. Fuck.”

“Is your laptop wet?” Hongjoong asks. 

“No, but my notes are soaked.” You groan, pulling out several sheets of paper, all full of running ink. “So my bag is probably stained, too.”

“Shit.” Hongjoong starts helping you take stuff out of your wet bag, soaked notes and a damp jacket that cushioned your laptop. 

And in doing so, he sees a piece of paper, familiar even though the ink that once covered it in neat handwriting has now run beyond recognition. 

It’s his letter. A letter you probably didn’t see before the rain soaked it through, ruining his confession completely. A letter he spent so long on trying to make it perfect, only for it to be fucked over by a rainstorm. 

“Hongjoong? What’s that?”

Hongjoong makes a split second decision. The smile he plasters on his face definitely doesn’t reach his eyes, but hopefully you don't notice. “Nothing,” he says even as his heart crumples, crumpling the letter into a ball and tossing it into the wastebasket with the rest of your ruined papers. “Don’t worry too much about this, yeah? I’ll send you pictures of my notes.”

“Oh god, you’re the best, Hongjoong.” Your smile is blinding. “What would I do without you?”

Outwardly, Hongjoong says something witty that makes you laugh. Inwardly, his head pounds with one question. 

No, Y/N - what would I do without you?

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi! I hope you’ll answer this question bc it bothers me quite a lot.. https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-now-that-BTS-are-partial-owners-of-Big-Hit-Entertainment do you think it is true what the second person (Christine Herman) said? After reading this, i started to wonder…what if BTS does really have only profit in mind while doing new projects these days? Maybe they don’t really care anymore about creative and meaningful lyrics and sound? With Butter and PTD…all this generic music sung in English. Of course they say “we wanted to make fans feel good”, “butter and ptd represent who we are” and all these things fans want to hear but.. do you really think it’s true? moreover, don’t get me wrong, i don’t find product placement in their reality shows as something terrible, i believe this is a normal thing, however, nowadays the members really film ads and do marketing a lot. so yeah, for some reason i began to question their integrity dhsjjss i hope you will understand from where my concerns come from and won’t find this ask stupid sjdjjdjd

After reading that persons answer I can immediately tell you that I basically don't agree with an overwhelming majority of what she said (even more so since a lot of it just makes her sound like a manti that hates the company and basically would want them to make music for free or something). Generally I don’t agree with most of the opinions this person holds, and also Quora really isn’t a good source for info or good opinions, most of it is written by mantis, haters, and toxic shippers with an agenda so most ARMY will tell you to stay as far away from that website as possible.

Anyway, her focus in that answer was on money, since BTS are shareholders (and how that’s a conflict of interest despite other artists doing the exact thing but no one really cares or ever thinks about it), but what she failed to consider and note was that Big Hit Music, so BTS' label, isn't part of HYBE in the sense that shareholding has no baring on it since BHM is private. So while BTS profit off of HYBE doing well, and have a small percentage of a voice as shareholders, that has nothing to do with BHM in the classical sense, even if BHM's earnings reflect well on HYBE numbers and the shareholder money. 

BHM was made private to ensure their artistry would remain untouched, that was the whole point of that.

Even if they weren't HYBE shareholders, take Namjoon as example. He has more than 170 KOMCA credits, is among the top 3 Korean artists with the most credits and is also the youngest of them all. It is said that his earnings from that alone can sustain his family for 3 generations over. Look at Hobi and Chicken Noodle Soup, that song was a hit and he paid the original creator of that song 2 million dollars upfront and earned a lot back due to how successful it was. Same goes for Hope World which, again, was and is still immensely successful. Look at Yoongi and his work both as prod. SUGA, featuring artist SUGA, and as Agust D, as well as the credits he holds for his work on BTS songs (giving him as well a total of over 100 KOMCA credits, just like Hobi). Bangtan have worked and continue to work extremely hard for their music, put their heart and souls into it, and it shows even if their style changed as they grew older and more mature.

Yes, money is a major motivator, but looking at the above paragraph, do you really peg the members as these corrupt money hungry sellouts with no music related integrity? Who would need to sign major deals and would throw away their passion to just release empty shells of music for the sole reason of money? Am I naive enough to believe that they don't care about money? Of course not, we live in a capitalist society and even if BTS wouldn't care about money anymore at this point, HYBE very much does, and yet still I can't find it in me to agree with any of what was said in that answer that person wrote.

More below the cut:

And that point about how Hyundai cars were sold out because of BTS, isn't that the point why literally any company ever hires celebrities to advertise and endorse their product? And sure, again, I'm certain they earned a lot on these deals, they aren't the first or last or only ones in the history of ever to do so. Besides, look at JK and what he's done for small companies, or Tae who wore a brooch made my a small creator at the airport which catapulted that creator into the eyes of millions of ARMYs enough so that they could move to a proper studio and earn money with their work. Or the modern hanboks JK wore which led to the brand being able to move into actual stores in malls because of their sudden new popularity and demand. Or him wearing a bracelet that helps whales with a percentage of the money from the sales of said bracelet. And for all of that JK and Tae didn't earn any money at all. JK himself said that he's more conscious of the brand he wears now because he wants to help smaller businesses in these trying times, not because they pay him to do so (especially since they would never be able to afford that), but because he's aware of the influence he has and how he can use it to help others. Sound very much like a capitalistic villain, right?

As for the product placement bit, have you been on YouTube recently? Have you noticed that many, if not most, YouTube videos by “bigger” creators (and by that I mean even people who are around the 100k subscriber mark) begin with them thanking whoever sponsored that particular video and give you a scripted minute to two minute long ad before getting into the actual topic of the video? And In The SOOP featuring Chilsung Cider, FILA clothes and the random mention of how good Samsung phones are isn’t much different from it, though really, if you’re not someone interested in fashion much, would you really notice or care that they wore FILA? It’s just...clothes? If it weren’t a BTS related show, would you even notice it much? And it’s not even like they mentioned those brands every five minutes or anything, just a few times, which sure sounded a bit out of place at times, but personally I thought it was easy to look past. That’s just how things work nowadays and it’s odd for people to behave like somehow BTS are the first and only ones to use product placements despite literally every movie and show doing it in subtle and less so manners.

The answer by that person you sent also mentioned the Hyundai song for their car IONIQ and, unsurprisingly, that person wrote it off as just some commercial jingle but I’d actually disagree with that. Not to sound like a Hyundai and Samsung stan, which I am neither of, but I actually think those two knew best how to utilize the artist they have spent millions on signing a deal with. Hyundai didn’t just write them off as pretty faces with a millions strong fan army behind them and that’s it, they remembered that they are musicians so they gave them a song and made a whole music video for it as well. And say what you will, it is a good song. Then, just a few days ago, Samsung stepped up their game and we were given Over The Horizon Prod by SUGA of BTS. For those who aren’t Samsung users, Over The Horizon is their signature ringtone and basically their company sound, and over the years different artists were asked to make their own version of it. And this time they reached out to Yoongi and asked if he’d like to do it as well. It’s kind of a big deal. Sure, Butter is used in one of their commercials much the way Dynamite was last year, but that’s beside the point. Would that person make the same claim about Imagine Dragons whose song Believer is also part of the ads for the new Samsung phones? I have my doubts.

Furthermore, and I don't want this to come across as mean toward you but, I think it is uncalled for to question their artistic integrity based on a total of 3 (three) English songs when last year alone we received 50+ songs, most of which were in Korean, among them the entirety of BE which was, according to the members, the album they were most involved in ever when it comes to both music and everything around it.

You can dislike their English songs, that’s more than fine, they have a very extensive discography you can listen to instead, but questioning their integrity based on them doing something that most, if not every, artist on their level does (as in sign ad deals with brands etc) is a bit much if you ask me. Does that mean indie artists whose songs get picked up for commercials (or for Netflix shows or movies) and thus it catapults them into the mainstream are also just money hungry people with no integrity and ones who don’t care about their music? Or is that, again, just a standard Bangtan is held to (as in that their integrity is questioned based on everything, even the most trivial/normal things) that only applies to them and no one else?

In the recent Weverse Magazine article about how Permission to Dance came to be there is a lot of talk about not only that song but also Butter and Dynamite, among the things being discussed and talked about they mentioned how the original lyrics for Butter were much more materialistic but that the members didn't like that so they asked for that to be changed. Likewise the original lyrics for Permission to Dance, as you'd expect from the penmanship of Ed Sheeran, were much more romantic, almost proposal like, which wasn't what the members wanted either so it was, again, adjusted in a way that would fit what they, as well as the A&R team, wanted. While you may not like these songs, they still had a say in them to a certain degree, could say yes or no and ask for adjustments. Why else would PTD take eight months?

While they might outsource their English songs, their main focus, so their Korean (as well as Japanese) discography is still centered around them, their lyrics, their songs, their sound. Of course you’ll also find outside producers and some lyricists on those as well, because that’s how music works these days, as in collaboratively, that doesn’t change anything at large. Their integrity is still very much there, their hearts are still in it, what other reason would any of them have to say that they want to continue for a long time, for Yoongi to say they want to figure out how to make their career last as long as possible, for JK to say that he wants to sing forever?

Admin 2 also wanted me to add that in their opinion, to a certain degree (though not fully of course), their English songs are like a way to laugh at and expose how shallow the English-centric music industry is. As in, while they made music in Korean with deep and meaningful lyrics, the US industry didn’t care but once they switched to easy to listen to sound with easy to understand English lyrics, they suddenly paid attention, are played on the radio, and even received a Grammy nomination which they wouldn’t have gotten for a Korean song ( A1: regardless how much Black Swan or Spring Day really would’ve deserved it...). 

[shihalyfie]

Takeru’s character song “Focus”

I alluded to this in a prior post (and, to be a bit honest about it, was a little concerned about how it would be received), but I had some friends ask about what I meant about this, so I decided to go more into detail with it! This is also partially in light of the occasion of the Best Partner albums also becoming a topic of interest again, so it feels like a good time as ever!

02 was a pretty prolific time for merchandising and side material as far as the franchise goes, and one of the many things that came out of it was the “Best Partner” series of character song albums (a whole 36 songs for all 12 Adventure and 02 kids plus their partners!). Of these, Takeru’s song “Focus” has been a particular topic of interest for many in the fanbase to its suspiciously loaded language and the fact that, well...it comes off as a romantic song, which is very unusual in a series that infamously didn’t touch on the topic of romance very much in terms of the actual series. Speculation has constantly abounded on what it’s supposed to imply, why it’s written this way, and what it could possibly mean...

But if you look at it closely? It’s probably not meant to be romantic, and it most likely refers to Patamon.

One thing that I do need to point out is context. Many who have been cynical about the song’s alleged romantic implications have generally put forth the idea that the music department was technically separate from the anime staff, so it’s possible that the music staff wanted to bait or provoke fanservice without much connection from the anime production. It is, undoubtedly, true that the music department isn’t necessarily fully tied in with the anime department, and has been fully willing to indulge in questionably-canon silliness (while 02′s Christmas Fantasy is certainly in-character, its placement in actual canon timeline has to be finagled with because of what we know about 02′s actual Christmas, and Tamers’s Christmas Illusion is far more comedic than the series itself actually permits), and, exacerbating this further is the fact that Hikari has her own extremely romantically loaded song, Reflection, which is often submitted as evidence that Focus must be made in the same vein, but tends to omit the fact that the album it comes from (Girls Festival) needs to be taken with a very heavy grain of salt given that it’s a notorious fanservice album that deliberately plays up the “maiden-like” characteristics of all of the girls involved for the sake of, ah, a certain subsection of the audience. (It was also made in 2002, long after 02′s production had ended.)

The notable thing about the Best Partner albums is that all of the material on it is extremely in-character, and this is especially notable because the song lyrics are significantly more obviously relevant to each character in 02 and their relationship with their partner than even the original Adventure character songs were (with said Adventure character songs often toeing into rather vague glosses that are only tangentially relevant to each character, and Mimi’s song on there pretty blatantly being an AiM single shoved onto the album for the sake of being called a Mimi song). Moreover, Focus isn’t just written by some random lyricist they grabbed for it, but regular Digimon lyricist Yamada Hiroshi himself, who was very involved in the anime production in terms of writing 02′s inserts Break up! and Beat Hit!, and, considering everything this series is about, you’d imagine he’d probably have been given some kind of details about what to do with Takeru’s representative song. It would be quite strange if, for some reason, Takeru’s song were the only one to go really off the rails about shipping bait instead of being, well, actually about his character arc. 

I should emphasize that the fact that this song is so commonly read as romantic persists in Japan as well, so whether it was via mishap or not, undeniably, the way the lyrics are phrased definitely make the romantic reading a very reasonable one to pull. The language in the song is extremely “loaded”, and, if it weren’t for the unique circumstances I’m about to describe, most reasonable people can’t really be blamed for taking it this way. However, I will say that all of the most common English translations of various parts of the songs have tended to assume the romantic interpretation as well, and have thus followed up with it by definitively translating it in ways that make it near impossible to read otherwise. So what I’m saying here is that I don’t think it was unreasonable for people to have taken the romantic interpretation, and I don’t particularly intend to blame or criticize the translators who handled this song for also taking it this way, but I also want to make clear that this is not the only way to read the song, and that there’s a very high possibility that this wasn’t the case to begin with.

(Also, since I mentioned Yamada Hiroshi earlier: it’s actually not all that uncommon for him to use heavily-loaded language like this in songs he’s written for the series -- refer to Beat Hit! -- it’s just that people haven’t traditionally taken them as shipping because the context and identity of the songs’ topic matters were so obvious that there wasn’t much need to do speculation about it.)

Let’s take a look into all of the parts of the song that have been traditionally taken as romantic:

"We were together since we were little”

One thing that’s interesting about how this line is phrased in Japanese is that it doesn’t actually specify who was little. And, obviously, if you’re talking about a relationship between humans, you’d think that childhood friends would grow up together, so you’d default to “we”...but, actually, the Japanese text doesn’t rule out the possibility of reading this as “since I was little”. Which means that, yes, Patamon isn’t out of the ruling here -- because, indeed, they met when Takeru was young.

In fact, this actually is a line that arguably should rule out anyone else, especially including the most common speculated topic for this song, Hikari -- because he and Hikari weren’t actually that close during Adventure, and their time “together” was relatively short compared to the rest of the adventure. Remember that the Adventure kids weren’t very close to each other after the events of the series, and Hikari and Takeru didn’t keep close contact between Adventure and 02 -- contrast Patamon being close to Takeru during the entirety of the series, and, bar their periods of disconnect between Adventure and 02, you could say that he’s been the closest to Takeru since this time, especially since Yamato hadn’t been able to be as present for him as he’d wanted.

"Running, rolling around, and always laughing"

Again, this is a line that practically excludes nearly anyone else from consideration. Nobody ever did this with Takeru in Adventure but Patamon, especially since Takeru was trying to present himself as a well-behaved kid in the presence of his elders, and it’s entirely possible he wouldn’t have been willing to do this with anyone else but the outwardly childish Patamon. It definitely would not have been Hikari, who was arguably even more reserved than him during this time.

“It would have been better if I hadn’t realized”/“I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but I can’t really say it”/“I can’t ask that”

Sentiments like “I can’t admit it”, or difficulty with accepting one’s own feelings, is usually associated with developing romantic feelings for another person and being touchy about admitting them, but the thing is that this is intended to be a representative character song, and Takeru is actually abysmally bad at admitting anything in general. And yes, that includes not being able to be straightforward with Patamon himself about parsing his trauma over his death.

Takeru was never able to have a straightforward conversation with even Patamon about the whole issue, because of his nasty habit of never opening up about his problems and never being honest about them. That’s why Iori had to be the one to take matters into his own hands and go out of his way to understand Takeru, because Takeru sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to work through this on his own, or even with Patamon.

“I can’t get you off my mind”

This one’s actually a stock phrase in Japanese that can refer to “being interested” in someone (romantically), but can also refer to something just not really being able to leave your head in general (from being bothered by it, or being very worried). So yes, this could mean anything from a romantic fixation...to simply being constantly worried and concerned about one’s welfare.

“You were always crying”

As far as people around Takeru’s periphery who apparently cried a lot goes, there aren’t a lot! The description doesn’t seem to fit Hikari much, either (she had her moments, but it’s not the kind of thing you’d imagine this kind of extreme descriptor for). Hm, but there is someone who might fit that description...

Certainly, enough that Takeru would remember.

(By the way, Patamon gets sent on the verge of tears in the middle of his own solo song...)

"The door that I couldn't reach that day, no matter how far I stretched out"

Very important part here: that day. There was a very important “day” that seems to be on Takeru’s mind here. What’s repeatedly referred to in 02 as one of the most traumatic and impactful days of Takeru’s life?

Incidentally, Takeru and Patamon’s duet song for this album also just so happens to use “opening door” imagery...

“You’re now standing in the light”

That use of “light” is usually submitted as evidence that it’s referring to Hikari via a pun on her name, but, well, “light” does happen to just mean “light”, after all (and it’s used in many contexts that don’t necessarily have to refer to Hikari in 02 itself). And, well...

Pretty apt description there, no?

"We were always being protected"

It could refer to Hikari, or anyone else Takeru was with during Adventure, but remember that Patamon was always the slowest to evolve (especially given the many circumstances that happened with him in Adventure that kept him unable to actively join the fight effectively for a very, very long time), and Takeru himself also had a pretty nasty complex about holding everyone back.

So, in conclusion...

Despite how loaded the language is, in the end, it’s probably meant to be a song about Takeru handling his trauma regarding Patamon very poorly at the time of 02. Which is, well, what his character arc in 02 was about, so it tracks, doesn’t it?

Bear in mind that, again, this is basically “one readable interpretation of it”, which I also personally happen to back very strongly because I think the evidence simply tracks too much given context -- the details described in the song rule out almost every other candidate that would be relevant to Takeru’s character arc, also happen to describe the events of Adventure too well, and certainly would track much better with everything else in this particular album series mostly being relevant to everyone’s character as reflected in 02. Song lyrics are song lyrics, and interpretation might be in the eyes of the beholder...but, you know, food for thought.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Weather Symbolism Analysis in Frozen the Musical* Because I’ve Been Listening to the Soundtrack Again and I Respect Good Lyricists

*Not the movie, though some of this applies there too. The musical basically took all the movie’s lyrical motifs and themes and expanded on them.

Anna’s mother calls her “[her] sunshine” in the dialogue of “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?”. That little detail sent me spiralling into a musical-wide analysis. Anna’s personality is definitely a ball of sunshine, especially as a child. But it also ties into the narrative symbolism of the sun and light representing happiness; love; safety; and clarity and understanding in relationships and how people are perceived (as in, it’s illuminating). In the introductory song “Let the Sun Shine On”, everyone in Arendelle - and specifically the royal family - is content, secure in their role in life and feels loved, and the song is brimming with language about light and warmth. Hence the title. Anna gets many lines and the better part of a chorus of this song to herself, being arguably the happiest character.

Let the sun shine on

Let our hearts be light

Like this perfect, happy, shiny summer day

She continues to be the main embodiment and ambassador of these ideas throughout the story. In “For the First Time in Forever”, she refers to the celebration bringing people she could connect with (including Elsa) and hopefully ‘shedding light’ on what Elsa is really like to her and their subjects with

There’ll be magic, there’ll be light

and when reaching out to Elsa in the reprise, she says,

We can make the sun shine bright

However, other characters use the theme too. Olaf is the living embodiment of it, and Anna and Elsa’s close childhood relationship. He’s constantly positive and the one to explain the definition of love to Anna: “putting someone else’s needs before yours.” And he of course inherently loves summer and warmth. From “In Summer”:

I’ll finally see a summer breeze

Blow away a winter storm

That brings us to the symbolism of storms and cold weather. Though briefly mentioned in “Let the Sun Shine On”,

Together we can keep the storm at bay

what storms represent is really established when one snuffs out what’s left of the sisters’ sunny childhood by killing their parents. If someone references cold and/or a storm, it’s related to fear; anxiety; grief; depression; loneliness; and emotional disconnection. Whereas sunlight helps you see, the chaos and darkness of a storm cloud (heh) your judgment and understanding. This is associated mainly with Elsa, in contrast to Anna’s sun and heat motif.

“Let It Go” is notable because it’s the only song that uses storms and cold in a good sense.

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway

Both lines have a positive, confident tone, but they show she isn’t actually dealing with her trauma and anxiety, she’s just too caught up in the sudden rush of joy and freedom to be totally consumed by them right now, and since her frame of reference is ‘I feel terrible all the time and will feel dramatically more terrible at the sightest trigger’ that seems close enough to perfect. The storm, with its biting regrets and icy fear, is still there and maybe even worse as she recklessly allows it to “rage on”, she’s just no longer actively “bothered” by it at the moment. For all her throwing away of gloves and cloaks and crowns, she is neither free nor moving on. To quote her own words to Anna during their reunion at the ice palace, she’s

Standing frozen

That’s the opposite of moving on, Elsa! It isn’t like storms mean good things in relation to Elsa alone because of her ice powers either, as she speaks of them in the traditional negative sense all the time. In “For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)” there’s

No escape from the storm inside of me

In its replacement “I Can’t Lose You” there’s

Can’t you see I’m the storm, and you make it worse?

Elsa has been in such a dark place for so long she can no longer disentangle her identity from the ‘storm’ of anxiety bombarding her mental health, thinking it’s either in her or is her. A very different interpretation of her declaration back in “Let It Go” that

I am one with the wind and sky

In the wider context of storm symbolism, that line also reveals/foreshadows the misguided and unsustainable nature of her freedom. She cannot see any part of herself that isn’t supposedly dangerous, harmful or burdensome. That’s… that’s just sad. In “Monster”, a new peak of depression and self-hatred to the point she verbally contemplates suicide to protect her sister and people from the destructive consequences of her mental illness (Disney princesses, everyone!), “the storm” comes up a lot:

The storm is awake

I’ve started a storm

Gotta stop it somehow

And will that take the storm away

Or only make it grow?

Mother, what if after I’m gone

The cold gets colder and the storm rages on?

These are all referring to the actual, physical blizzard her powers have created, but it’s evident her internal landscape is being equally ravaged. That’s why there is an external storm in the first place, after all. Her lines also contain uses of the sun and light in the context found elsewhere, in “For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)”,

Go enjoy the sun, and open up the gates

“Monster”,

I have to stay alive

To fix what I’ve done

Save the world from myself

And bring back the sun

and even “Let It Go” itself.

And I’ll rise like the break of dawn

Here I stand, in the light of day

These last two lines show how Elsa feels she is reclaiming the liberty and bliss of her childhood. That’s why she finally rebuilds Olaf the snowman and puts so much of herself into him he comes to life, made of everything the young sisters said he would be in “Little Bit of You”. So she does understand the ‘good sun/bad storm’ dichotomy and it does apply to her. So yeah, “Let It Go” is purposefully anomalous to demonstrate the flaws of its mentality. Consider that next time you hear it, although it’s easy to get swept away by the awesome rush of Elsa’s empowerment like she did.

“Colder by the Minute” is the epitome of this symbolism. Practically the whole song is relevant, so I won’t bother quoting it all. It’s self-explanatory. It stresses the physical and emotional distance between the four characters and is probably the story’s lowest point, thus it’s also the story’s height of bad weather. It’s set in the midst of a raging blizzard that conceals lovers Kristoff and Anna from each other; Anna still being alive from Elsa and the people of Arendelle, thereby prolonging Hans’s crucial deception; and Elsa and Hans approaching Elsa to kill her from Anna and Kristoff, preventing them from helping sooner. It’s not only directly impeding the heroes’ achievement of their goals, it’s enabling the villain right at the climax of his evil plan. The storm is an antagonist! Technically it’s been antagonistic since it first started inconveniencing the kingdom, but never does the weather seem more tangibly malevolent. The citizens turn against Hans afterward because when Elsa hears that Anna is dead

the wind blew soft

And in her grief the storm stood still

allowing Anna’s sacrifice to be seen.

In “Finale/Let It Go (Reprise)” the lyrics of “Let It Go” are ‘fixed’ and rid of the toxic storm and cold imagery with lots of additional sun, light and heat.

Let the sun shine on

I take this warmth within and send it up above

Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this land with light and love

Then we'll rise like the break of dawn

The fear and cold are gone

Here we stand, in the light of day

The new plural pronouns (“we” and “[let us]”) show that the song is now about the coexistence of freedom of expression and inclusion, instead of the freedom of expression through exclusion it used to be. Everyone has found a much more robust, complete, mature happiness than Elsa did in the original song (except Hans, Hans can rot in prison) where Elsa’s learned that loving herself and directly loving others are not mutually exclusive and Anna has multiple forms of true true love.

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

Maybe Luke/Bobby, #28 “feeling for each other in the dark”?

hi anon my beloved. this is 1300 words of.... who knows what. ao3 link in the reblogs if you'd rather read that way!

you're my darling (i'm on standby) | lukebobby | 1.3k

When a noise stirs Bobby from his sleep, he blinks his heavy eyelids and stares into… at first, nothing at all.

Then, he tilts his head with a soft groan, feeling the stiffness in his neck, and sees the moonlight pouring in through the studio windows, strips of blue-silver in the otherwise pitch-black room. From the angle of the moon, it must be late. Maybe past midnight. He’s cold, despite the fact that he’s curled under the blanket that usually sits folded over the back of the couch.

“Who’s there?” says a cautious voice, explaining why he was woken up in the first place. It’s not unusual for one of the boys to turn up in the middle of the night, to get away from home, for somewhere safe to sleep. It makes sense that Luke isn’t sure who the shape in the dark on the couch could be. “Reg? Is that you?”

“S’ just me,” Bobby replies, and his own voice comes out raspy and groggy, the words scrambled somewhat by the yawn that escapes alongside them.

Luke sounds almost relieved. Which is weird, since Luke is usually more than happy to see Reggie. “Oh, hey, man. What’re you doing out here?”

Bobby rolls onto his back and cringes; he’s really messed up his neck curling up to the corner of the couch-bed like this. The shadows obscure Luke from his view; he can hear vaguely where Luke must be standing each time he talks, but despite trying to focus his eyes, he can’t see him in the dark. “I live here, dumbass. What are you doing here?”

To be fair, Bobby doesn’t technically live in the studio. He’s supposed to live in the house just up the driveway. The big, empty house with too many rooms. Where the space echoes. Where the ceiling feels too far away for him to possibly be safe, and warm. But anyway.

“Uh. I just thought I’d -- I dunno.” Luke is hesitant and talkative and stammering at once. Things Bobby hates to hear in him. Luke should always get to be a little overconfident, a great lyricist, comfortable performing; not small and trying to make himself smaller. “I got my grades back tonight, and -- and trying to talk to my mom about my report card just sucked, and -- it’s okay if you want me to leave.”

Bobby rolls his eyes even though he knows Luke can’t see him. Maybe because he knows Luke can’t see him, so it won’t hurt Luke’s feelings, even by accident. It sucks that things are so tough with his mom, and Bobby knows how much it’s been bothering Luke, along with his loss of enthusiasm for school. Bobby would never admit it, but it makes his chest ache a little, to think of Luke so frustrated so much of the time.

Again, Luke doesn’t deserve to be that way; he deserves to be upbeat, finding the fun in everything, like Bobby knows him at his best right before a gig when nothing in the world can bring him down. At least Luke feels how he feels; that the studio is a safe place, a sanctuary. Somewhere that feels accepting and like home, when other places feel judgemental or disappointed or empty.

He doesn’t say any of that. Instead he just says, “Christ, Luke. You’re not that much of a dumbass, right? Get over here.”

Luke doesn’t reply, but Bobby can hear him moving around. The clink of his belt buckle, the way he quietly curses as he almost trips over getting out of his jeans, because Luke always sleeps in his boxers, hates the feeling of waking up in jeans the next day. Bobby feels the couch dip when Luke sits on the edge of it, then the double thud of his shoes hitting the ground.

Then they’re both reaching around, fumbling; Bobby’s hand comes into contact with Luke’s elbow, and Luke flinches, then laughs, but not like something’s funny, more like he’s still a little too wired to be touched without expecting it. He mumbles, “Sorry, dude,” and reaches out again, and this time, they’re able to grab each other’s hands so Bobby can pull Luke down into the blanket.

When they’re lying down again, Bobby catches himself, realises he’s still holding Luke’s hand, and lets go, hopefully not so fast it seems like it burned him, but maybe a little hurried. Just because Luke and the others are more okay with touching than any other friends Bobby’s ever had (in fact, he’s pretty sure they’re the only friends Bobby’s ever had who were okay with it at all), doesn’t mean he should push his luck.

Whatever the case, Luke doesn’t seem to notice, too busy wriggling under the blanket and relaxing with a sigh. He’s a few inches from Bobby. Still, Bobby can’t see him in the dark, but he can feel how close Luke is, the heat radiating off him, the way the rise and fall of his breath moves the blanket on Bobby, too. Luke’s so warm. Bobby knows this -- they all know this -- but it still brings a relief to the ice in his stomach that he’s trying to ignore.

Ideally, Luke being here, his physical proximity, wouldn’t affect Bobby at all, not even to be comforting, reassuring. Ideally, Bobby would be immune to all these things, just like he’d be immune to the eerie silence of his parent’s empty house, and equally immune to the sense of life and home imbued in the studio by the boys and their presence over time.

For a moment it’s quiet. Bobby breathes. He tries not to be too aware of Luke, the incline and dip where he’s lying on the couch, the sound of Luke’s breathing.

Luke squirms around, like he’s not comfortable, like he’s repositioning. Then he lies still for another moment. Then he moves again.

“Luke,” Bobby grunts, turning his face to press it against the pillows on the couch, “cut it out.”

“Sorry,” Luke says, but it sounds petulant rather than apologetic, shuffling a bit more. “I just… I --”

Bobby sighs. As if he hasn’t known what Luke has wanted all along. But he can’t start offering it all the time, or Luke will start to expect it. Or worse, he’ll start to think it’s because Bobby wants it, too. “Come here.”

Again, it’s a scrambling of not knowing where the other is, limbs tangled with limbs, but Bobby manages to tuck Luke under his chin, to let Luke fling an arm and a leg over him. To pillow Luke’s cheek on his muscle between his shoulder and his chest.

Luke’s so warm, and he’s touching Bobby everywhere. It’s the best feeling in the world, which Luke absolutely can’t know. “There,” Bobby huffs, like he’s resentful, when he’s anything but. “Better?”

Luke nods, his fluffy hair rubbing against Bobby’s jaw. And he seems to mean it; besides the absent rub of his hand up and down Bobby’s side, from his waist to his ribs and back, he doesn’t seem to be full of so much restless energy anymore, and his breaths come easier, less conspicuous in the quiet. “Thanks, Bobby,” he whispers, but he doesn’t sound like he’s doubting his welcome like he did before, and that’s all Bobby could ask for.

Well, that and Luke’s warmth, his company, the way he traces a little pattern on Bobby’s side like Bobby’s worth touching. He doesn’t tell Luke that it’s fine, or that Bobby should be thanking him, actually. Instead, he just mutters, “Can we get some sleep now?”

But even if Luke dozes off pretty quickly, Bobby stays awake a while longer, just to savour the feeling of having him close without the risk of being caught, to savour the relief of not having to face the silent, empty night alone.

[mystaracrosstheuniverse]

Last Piece 2.

title. Last Piece pairing. GOT7 JB x Reader genre. slice of life, romance, attempts at comedy, angst warnings. cursing, jb being a cute cat dad, reader is hella awkward but so is he, mentions of anxiety, GOT7 members being hella extra bc they are summary. As an English teacher from abroad, you get a lot of perks. One of the best ones is that you live in an apartment for free. Another perk seems to be the elusive, attractive man who lives two floors above you… Though his cats seem to prefer your apartment over his. And so does his mail, which makes you travel to his place pretty often regardless of whether he wants to see you or not.

new beginnings master post.

part one. part two.

______________________________________________________________

Ever since that first package drop off, you’ve run into Jaebum quite a few times. Living in the same building and occasionally getting each other’s mail definitely attributed to the frequency, and you were thankful for it. While you’re sure the male wouldn’t really consider the two of you friends, you liked to call him a “not quite but almost friend”... Not to his face but to your own friends and to yourself. Maybe occasionally to his cats. Speaking of his cats, you’ve met more than just Odd and Nora at this point. Nora seemed to be the jealous type, wanting her dad’s attention to herself, and would push the younger ones out of the apartment as Jaebum would come and go. The amount of times you’ve found Odd or Kunta wandering around the hall made you wonder how the man didn’t ever notice his oldest child bullying her siblings.  Other times he gets your mail, having it been delivered to him on accident somehow. You’d never live down the time he got a huge package from your grandparents, an amused smirk across his face as he brought it to you.  “Forget some things back home?” He had teased, setting the package down on your counter. Your face was bright red, unable to string together a coherent sentence because you didn’t want him to think you were forgetful, but then again you kind of were but what if -- “Hey, I’m just teasing, Y/N.” He had said, gentler this time, “I know it must be nice to have someone back home who cares about you.”  You had just nodded, your heartbeat evening out slowly as you chatted for a few more minutes before he hurried off. He was a bit gentler for a few days after, as if scared to get that reaction out of you again. You appreciated it. You hoped that one day you’d be able to not have that instant reaction to panic over a small comment. Since then, you’ve been trying to gather up the courage to ask if he wants to hang out for lunch or something. Every time you get close, you end up chickening out. And every time you cursed yourself, because you just wanted to be his friend -- something about him made you want to be around him. Today, though, you just wanted to get to work. You had planned a big interactive activity for your class today and you wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Hurrying down the stairs, you made sure you had everything in your bag before leaving the building. As you looked up, you noticed someone just barely walking ahead of you. Jaebum. Immediately your mind went through possible scenarios, from saying hello to quietly avoiding him, maybe even -- “Do you want to get lunch or something later Jae???” Oh no. Oh no. Your mouth decided for you. Not only that, you addressed him so casually even though he’s older, he’s definitely going to hate you -- Was... that a laugh? You focused her attention back on him, seeing him looking amused and a half smile on his face. You ignored the small catch in your throat and pushed away the thought of how nice he looked.  “Sure, give me your phone and we’ll plan something.” You don’t even remember handing over your device or him adding himself to your contacts, but a few minutes later he gave you a little finger salute and a promise to message you later for planning.  “Im Jaebum” the contact read in kakaotalk, simple and to the point, much like the man you were hoping to befriend. As you mentally patted yourself on the back for not crying, you glanced at the time on your phone before cursing loudly in your native language and running off to the subway. You were going to be late.  Despite you thinking that you totally had your excitement under control, your co-teacher and students definitely thought otherwise.  “Teacher, why can’t you sit still? Don’t you ... much sit down?” Sangmin, one of your fourth graders, attempted to ask. You smiled and gently corrected him, saying you liked to sit down very much, but don’t ‘always’ do it. He bashfully nodded and bowed his head down to talk with his desk partner about the dialogue you’d given out for discussion. “They’re right you know,” You jumped before recognizing the voice of your co-teacher, Taeyeon, “You’re acting like you’ve drank the Ediya shop out of stock.”  Oh. Perhaps you were flitting about the room more, babbling a little to yourself and to your students, and constantly looking over at your desk where you kept your phone while class was in session.  “I just... I made a friend.” You admitted, “You know, the guy from my apartment building?”  Taeyeon raised an eyebrow, looking at you skeptically. “I know I’ve asked this, but you sure you don’t like him more than a friend? It’s not like we’re not friends and you don’t have friends, Y/N.”  See you KNEW this but one of your biggest anxieties and fears was that you’d never be able to make friends outside of work or your past. Because, like Christian had always reassured you, you were a wonderful sweetheart but you were so hard to talk to because you were always so nervous. It made it hard.  “I really just want to meet his cats... Except Nora because she seems mean.” You noted, not really answering the question but in your mind, it was sufficient. Having worked with you and had recently made herself your friend, Taeyeon knew this was probably the best she was going to get out of you and just left it be. You’d figure it out eventually and she knew she’d be one of the first to know. She still couldn’t help but question it when she saw you light up at a notification on your phone.  ‘Want to meet up after your work and eat some chicken? I know a good place.’

___________________________________________________________ You forgot why you were so worried about hanging out with Jaebum in the first place. Talking with him, after the initial awkward greeting, was coming really easily to you. You only hoped he felt the same, it seemed so.  “So why Korea, hm?” Jaebum had asked, looking over at you as he drank his water. You chewed your food thoughtfully before swallowing. It was a question often asked, but it never bothered you to answer it. “I fell in love with this country the first week I came here, back in school.” You explained, “I’ve only ever felt at home in one other place, and it was with my grandparents. But when I came here... it just felt right, you know? Like fate was telling me to come here. So I wanted to come back after figuring out what I wanted to do.” Jaebum listened well, nodding along as you spoke. “I see. And you found teaching was it?” You nodded. “I love what I do, even more so that I get to do it in the place that feels like home.”  A small smile creeped along his face, and you coughed to distract yourself from staring. “So what do you do, Im Jaebum?”  After finding out that he HATED being addressed by his full name, especially by someone younger than him (which you were by a year), you couldn’t resist. You had to. “I’m a freelancer. I do a lot of music production work or lyricist support.” He rolled his eyes at your antics, but didn’t say anything. You lit up at the mention of music. Your father loved music, and you had fond memories of growing up with him playing everything from Mozart to The Eagles while your mother was gone. “That’s so cool! Did you go to school for it or is it just... apart of you?” You struggled to find the words to describe what you meant. While you were confident in your Korean, some words just... didn’t translate well in your opinion. He chuckled lowly, “I’ve been making and doing music since I was young. Never thought about doing anything else once I found it. I learned along the way.” The conversation continued, talking about favorite genres of music, eventually leading you to ask how his cats liked his music or if they preferred a certain type, to you demanding to know why Nora keeps trying to bully Odd. It was nice. Really, really nice actually. Jaebum smiled so much at you and even joined in your weird reactions or antics and it just made you feel warm and happy on the inside. He even insisted on paying since he was older and who were you to refuse free food? You were to excited -- you made a friend! The talking lulled while walking back to the apartment complex, but the silence wasn’t an awkward one. It was gentle and understanding. You didn’t need to fill up the space with idle, unneeded chit chat to be with each other. As you came to the doors of the building, Jaebum opened the door and allowed you to go first, and you might’ve missed it because of how bashful he sounded. “It’s been a while since I’ve had fun with someone who’s not my group.. Thanks, Y/N.” You smiled brightly. “Well, consider me apart of your group. We’re friends now Jae!” There you went with no honorifics. He scowled at you, pinching your neck as you tried to avoid him on your way to the elevator. “At least call me hyung or something if not oppa, you disrespectful brat!” He called out, only getting your childish giggles as his response. Hanging out with Jaebum wasn’t really easy or often. He’s really busy and his schedule is… not consistent. You knew it was due to his job and not because he hated you, so you weren’t as worried about it as you could be. Especially since he tried to talk to you at least once a week, even it was just a brief conversation in the stairwell, or on your way out to work. It was enough for you. Of course you see each other a little more often than usual because of the mail situation. For some reason, the mail person could not understand that just because you were one of the only foreigners from the U.S. in the building does not mean that every package from the U.S. is for you. But it did give you an excuse to go see Jaebum after a week, so you head up the stairs, package in hand, and you hear Jae’s voice -- and a few others, it sounded like? Huh? “Jae??? Is that you???” You peer up the stairwell to see if you can catch him, and soon you see Jae leaning over his own railing, catching sight of you and waving, but looking over to where you couldn’t see and looking a little pissed off. Oh... That was new. Was someone bothering him? Were you bothering him? You started apologizing, “Hey sorry if this is a bad time -- I got another package from your friend and I just --” “Yoooo Who’s that?! It sounds like a girl OH are you in love?!” A loud, excited male voice shouted over you, startling you and almost making you drop the package in your arms. “I told you her name is Y/N and she’s a friend!!” Jaebum’s chin seemed to stick out in reaction to your startled state -- you hoped he wasn’t too mad at you. Or his friend. It’s not his fault you’re easily scared.  You decided to call out once more, “So... the box?”  He looked down at you, his arm pointed and pushing someone, supposedly his friends, as he responded. “Yeah, bring it up, I’ll grab it from you -- Just let me get my friends into the apartment.” “I want to meet her!” “Bring her to us!” “Let us see her!” The loud, rambunctious voices all decided to loudly protest at once, making you shake a little in your boots, letting Jaebum disappear from your sight before sitting down to regain your nerve. You didn’t know Jaebum had... such loud friends. Feral children was the phrase that came to mind... Gathering your nerve, you walked up the stairs and into Jaebum’s hallway, where he’s already waiting for you, leaning against the door as it bumped against him at times, the sounds of whining and demands to see you seeping through the solid door. “Thanks, Y/N.” Jaebum smiled gently, taking the box from you. You managed a smile back, jumping at the sudden movement of the door that jostled him forward. “Sorry, I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” He apologized, kicking the door, “Hopefully you can meet them later, but right now I can tell they’re going to be too much for you and I actually want you to still be my friend after meeting them.” His explanation was a little rushed at the end, pink tinging his cheeks. Was Jaebum embarrassed? Well that was kinda cute.  You quickly pushed that thought aside. But you couldn’t help but flush. He noticed that about you? “Sorry, Jae...” “Don’t apologize! When you’re ready we can set something up. I think you’ll like them when they’re calmer.” His smiled widened, “Then I’ll have someone calm and not evil to combat these brats.” “I thought I was a brat, though?” You tilted your head, feeling more at ease. He rolled his eyes.  “You’re all brats and I suffer. But I guess I enjoy suffering.” He shrugged. “Well, I’ll see you around Y/N. Promise.” You nodded, scurrying off before Jaebum’s friends could break the door down. After getting into the apartment, you smiled to yourself. Jaebum liked you enough to want to meet his friends. You were friends.