#I’M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF BORROWING PEOPLE’S CARS

[are-we-really-doing-this]

THEY FOUND MY FUCKING CAR PART, LET’S FUCKING GO. THE PISSWAGON MAKES ITS TRIUMPHANT RETURN. SOON. VERY SOON.

[fairyniceyeah]

⌛⭐ We must going on

Title from WONDERLAND (ATEEZ)

Summary: Seonghwa’s bronchitis rears its ugly head during a meeting. Mingi always pays attention to his hyung's wellbeing.

CW: mentions of fainting, emeto

Sickie: Seonghwa Caretaker: Mingi

Seonghwa felt Awful. Capital A. 

And Embarrassed. Also capital E.

If he had known how much time an idol spent in meeting during their careers he would have reconsidered auditioning. But, alas, he had not known which brought him to his current predicament: Sitting in a meeting with some high-up executives after a sleepless night of coughing and chills.

His throat hurt, he was freezing and every minute or so he had to turn away to cough into his elbow. Even the CEO was throwing him worried glances but - like everybody else - refrained from speaking. It was after all well known that Seonghwa did not get sick. Even if he was coughing and probably running a fever and feeling awful, he was not sick.

He refused to be.

Hongjoong had argued with him over him coming into work that morning but even he had had to admit defeat. San and/or Mingi must have snitched on him. Top Ten anime betrayals.

Seonghwa had long given up on paying attention to what the meeting was about. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure he had even known in the first place. He was more preoccupied with sipping on his tea and not spitting out the cough drop in his mouth every time he had to cough.

It hurt. It really hurt to cough - not just in his throat but also in his chest. Something really must have it out for him. Karma, he would have called it but he couldn’t recall doing anything that deserved this.

Even in Yunho’s borrowed hoodie (Seonghwa had had to grudgingly accept it earlier in the car because he had been so cold he was sure his fingers were about to fall off) he was still shivering and trembling. He sighed. 

God, he should not have done that. Another coughing fit took hold of him, causing his whole body to shake with the force of it. It was more violent than before and he turned away so he wouldn’t have to look at the other people in the room. His eyes watered and he couldn’t fucking stop. His throat was being shredded, at least it felt like it. Vaguely he was aware of the CEO stopping to talk and a worried hand on his back but all he could focus on was trying to catch his breath. His chest felt awfully tight.

“Hwa? Hwa?”, a voice came through the fog in his head and he glanced with eyes tearing up at his captain. 

“I’m fine”, Seonghwa gasped, finally able to draw a breath again, “I’m okay.”

“Why don’t you go home, Seonghwa-yah?”, the CEO asked gently, a bit of pity in his voice. Seonghwa hated it. He did not want to be pitied. He was an adult in his mid-twenties and the oldest of the group. He didn’t get to get sick. There were seven dongsaengs relying on him.

“I’m sorry for the interruption, abeoji”, Seonghwa apologized, “I’m fine. Continue, please.”

The CEO sighed and nodded, then continued his speech.

⌛

The next fifteen minutes Seonghwa painfully tried to suppress his coughs with more or less success. None of the managers or executives were able to meet his gaze though Seonghwa knew he must look unfocused and tired. His members were throwing him concerned glances which he ignored. Mingi even had a hand on Seonghwa’s back, soothingly running his huge palm up and down over Seonghwa’s spine. While he normally would have hated the attention from a dongsaeng when sick he couldn’t deny it felt nice. He glared at Hongjoong before the captain could even bring attention to it.

But even despite Mingi’s efforts Seonghwa was still sick, even if he didn’t want to admit it. His chest was burning like it was on fire and he constantly had to focus on keeping his breathing even. But he succeeded in not coughing again.

Until he didn’t succeed anymore.

He lost his focus on his breathing for just a second but it was enough. Seonghwa pitched forward, not even having time to turn around before the next fit took hold. He buried his face in his elbow and coughed. It felt like the eruption of a long dormant volcano, burning, hot and painful.

His mouth filled with something and he spat out some disgusting yellowish mucus into the sleeve of Yunho’s hoodie. He’d have to apologize to the other later. For now, he needed to leave, he didn’t want to disturb the meeting any further.

“Excuse me”, Seonghwa mumbled and pushed his chair, which was only saved from clattering to the floor by Hongjoong, back. He stumbled to his feet and rushed out of the room. He couldn’t stay in there, making them watch again and have them worry. It had been embarrassingly enough the first time.

But staying out in the public hallway was as bad as the meeting room, so Seonghwa hurried in the direction of the bathrooms, trying not to faint as his vision turned black from the lack of air and the need to cough again. He didn’t make it far until he stumbled, crashing into a wall and likely bruising his shoulder. It hurt. His throat hurt. His chest hurt. He couldn’t breathe properly. He was dizzy and his vision was spotty. 

With a frustrated yell, pulling at his hair, he gave up and sunk to his knees. Well, he tried. 

Suddenly a hand was at his elbow, the same spot he had spat the mucus into but the person didn’t seem to care at all. 

“Hyung? Hyungie?”, a frightened but at the same time determined voice asked, “please don’t faint on me.”

Seonghwa coughed again, blinking back tears and stared up at his savior.

Mingi?

It wasn’t as unexpected as his first instinct had him believe, Seonghwa supposed. Mingi, while easily scared and sometimes very much a maknae, always had been very in tune with Seonghwa’s health. And his easy-going nature and his puppy eyes never failed to make Seonghwa feel bad for pushing him away.

“Hyung?”, Mingi repeated, a bit more frantic now. Right, he hadn’t replied.

“I’m okay, Mingi-yah. Not gonna pass out”, Seonghwa reassured. Mingi, however, didn’t look reassured.

“Seonghwa-hyung, you’re clearly sick and not feeling well. I could hear you coughing all night. So could San. Stop pretending, please. We’re so worried”, Mingi whispered, a bit angrily.

Seonghwa breathed out and nodded. He really had no foundation to build his arguments on. But breathing - breathing of all things - triggered another coughing fit. He doubled over and gasped: “Mingi, bathroom. Please.”

There was no way he could hold back coughing anymore and he did not want to be the main attraction of a show in the middle of a KQ hallway. Mingi seemed to understand and immediately began supporting his hyung the last meters to sanctuary.

As soon as Mingi had shouldered open the door Seonghwa tumbled towards the sinks, bracing himself on the porcelaine and coughed. His long hair fell into his face but he couldn’t care less. All he could focus on was the burning.

He couldn’t do anything to stop the torture, his throat and chest working against him. He coughed over and over again, the only thing keeping him from falling forward and bashing his head in the sink was Mingi’s hands on his shoulders. Seonghwa tried to focus on that, the feeling of somebody being there while he felt like he was suffocating.

It was minutes of coughing without break and Seonghwa was starting to feel faint again. He was getting light-headed from lack of air and his vision grew spotty. Still his body didn’t have mercy.

It was the opposite really. Just as Seonghwa felt like maybe he could stop soon, he suddenly tasted sour bile in his throat and with the next cough a small amount of his stomach contents came up, splattering onto the white surface.

Seonghwa didn’t have the capacity to feel shocked or disgusted, despite his hair taking a hit. All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and pray for death, as another cough triggered a new wave of vomit. 

Mingi muttered what sounded suspiciously like a curse and let go of him. Seonghwa whimpered. He didn’t want to be alone now, though he knew he was disgusting. 

“It’s okay, hyung, I got you”, Mingi soothed and then his hands gathered Seonghwa’s hair, uncaring of its state and bundled it up at the back of his neck. Once he could hold it with one hand, he placed his other on Seonghwa’s back and rubbed gentle circles on it.

It was probably the nicest thing Seonghwa had ever felt. It didn’t matter that the coughing made him throw up more and more, it didn’t matter that his knees were shaking, it didn’t matter that everything hurt. The only thing that mattered was Mingi holding him through it all.

⌛

And then it was over. He hadn’t even thought it possible anymore, thought he was forever trapped in limbo between breathlessness and pain. But finally the coughing stopped. 

His arms were shaking from the effort of holding himself up and just as they buckled he managed to shove himself backwards, trusting his dongsaeng to catch him. Mingi did. Of course, he did. It was like he had expected it: He wrapped his arms around Seonghwa’s waist and guided him to the floor.

Seonghwa shivered as he came in contact with the cold tiles and yet it was a relief, the coolness against his fevered skin. 

“Oh, hyung”, Mingi mumbled as he knelt down in front of Seonghwa. He was holding some paper towels and gently began wiping at the eldest’s face. Tears, snot and traces of vomit were easily wiped away, leaving a red-faced, flushed and exhausted hyung in its wake.

“I don’t feel good, Mingi-yah”, Seonghwa whispered brokenly. He hated to admit it but he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Hot, salty tears spilled down his face and the only thing preventing him from bursting into sobs was that his body was so tired it physically couldn’t. His strength was fading so quickly he wouldn’t even be surprised if he passed out.

Seonghwa felt humiliated, exhausted and so, so sick.  His head was pulsing, his chest aching and his muscles were sore. He just wanted to go home, take some medication and sleep. 

Mingi, seemingly sensing how close his hyung was to breaking, carefully gathered him in his arms and Seonghwa buried his face in his neck. Warm hands ran down his spine and never before had Seonghwa been so grateful that Mingi - despite his personality - was so tall. He felt … protected in a way he hadn’t for a long time.

“Hyung, let me call a manager, okay? We can go to the doctor, get you some meds and then you can sleep all you want, hm?”

Exhaustedly, Seonghwa nodded, not removing himself from the younger.

“Tell Yunho I’m sorry for ruining his hoodie”, he mumbled.

“Yunho cares more about your health than his hoodie, hyung”, Mingi said gently and pressed a kiss against Seonghwa’s hair.

Within seconds Mingi had his phone in his hand and was talking into it softly. Seonghwa didn’t care to listen, he just closed his eyes and drifted.

⌛

Seonghwa woke up to a manager coming into the bathroom and helping Mingi lift him into his arms. He let his eyes flutter close again and just laid his head against Mingi’s shoulder.

The doctor’s visit passed in a blurr. There were tests and questions but in the end Seonghwa could barely puzzle together what had happened in detail. He only knew that a larger hand never let go of his.

Once back at the dorm Seonghwa was dosed up with medication and a warm, fuzzy blanket was pulled over him. A solid weight against his back held onto him and Seonghwa let himself drift.

Maybe … maybe being vulnerable wasn’t so bad.

Notes: I am having an awful cold at the moment so I feel the anon requester and Seonghwa so hard at the moment. My voice is gone and my friends keep laughing at me. Fair, though.

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - ATEEZ

[kat-rafe]

never again

dark!rafe x reader

“rafe let fucking go of me” you screamed at him while he’s bruising your arm holding you back. “don’t you fucking walk away from me! i didn’t fuck that bitch!” he screams back only grabbing your arm even tighter, definitely leaving bruises. “yeah you didn’t?! do you ever stop lying to me? nothing that comes out of fucking your mouth is true. ‘i didn’t beat up pope babe, you have to believe me’ or ‘kelce borrowed my bed to fuck some girl at the last houseparty, babe it wasn’t me.’ it never ends rafe, i’m sick and tired of you” you scream back, finally freeing yourself from his grip and walking towards your parked car outside Tannyhill. 

he catches up to you fast, grabs your car keys and slams you against the door. “you dont fucking talk to me like that!” he screams, blood red in the face while he pounds his hands on the glass besides your head. you avoid his eyes. “look at me,” he says and grabs your chin, forcing eye contact between you. tears welling up in your eyes. “why would I lie to you, huh? huh! you’re my everything! I would kill for you and if you leave me I will do anything to get you back to me. you’ll never leave me. not really.” he says in a hushed voice that sounds like a threat. the grip on your chin getting tighter with every word. 

“rafe, you’re hurting me” you say silently with your eyes clammed closed in pain. “sweet girl, if you ever try to leave me again, this ‘pain’ you're in now will be nothing to what you'll experience then” he whispers in your ear, then he kisses your cheek. finally he releases the grip on your chin and hugs you. 

you cry into him as he places your keys in his pocket and leads you towards the house you just left. “why do you have to bruise so badly? huh baby? people would think i'm abusing you when you bruise so badly. if only they knew you're the one abusing me, making me act this way.” he chuckles with a smile plastered on his face, but the rage from earlier lingering in his eyes. 

“i’m sorry, rafe”

“now there’s my girl! never do that again. ever”

[regular-lord-reckoner]

since i have started this whole therapy/unmasking thing i have had the worst time getting myself to focus on work and get done what i need to get done

it’s like a switch has flipped and one minute all i ever do is work and try to get caught up on work and stay on top of everything to where now i just had to finish up what i didn’t get done during the week because i just...could not

i even the other day tried to set aside the first half of my day just so i could focus on work and get all the important stuff done, but by the time i finished all the work from yesterday that absolutely needed to be done plus the work for the next day it was almost 2 in the afternoon

still, i stopped and took a break, did a little work out, took a shower, all of that and naturally as i’m like, “see, now we can just take the rest of the day nice and easy and still get everything done without stressing” i see an email that’s like, “oh, btw everyone needs to be logged off by 6:45 pm today, IT needs to do something”

so then i had to scramble to get shit done instead of being able to take my time and ended up getting all stressed out again anyway

i’ve heard a lot of people say that while going through this process they take time off work for a while and i really wish that i could, but i just don’t know how, i already have to be a week ahead on all my charts just to take a week off, i can’t imagine how much work i’d have to do to take two weeks off or even a month

my last vacation was spent being so sick i could barely even walk so i really, really, really could use some kind of break i just feel like i haven’t even had a second to stop and think about it

and on top of that, i think my dad’s getting sicker

one of his doctors is really concerned about his test results lately and wants him to make these urgent appointments with his other doctors for next week so i guess we’ll see what comes of that, i’m hoping it doesn’t end up being, “yeah, so the cancer’s starting to win now, sorry” but we were already playing with borrowed time as is, i guess so i’m just mentally trying to prepare for that

and while all of this is just...happening, yesterday i’m sitting outside trying to enjoy a little sliver of free time, turn my brain off and just not have to think about anything, i hear my parents calling for the dog

and normally that’s not too unusual, sometimes when he’s outside he’ll run a little too far and they have to yell for him to come back, but he always does

this time, though, they just keep calling and calling and calling so i go downstairs to see what’s up and he’s missing. the dog is missing.

i’m trying to ask like, “where did he go missing, did you see him run off? front yard or backyard?” but nobody knows, he just took off while they were outside apparently 

so...awesome.

my mom’s been drinking and my dad’s too tired so i have to get in my car and drive up and down the road looking for him.

i’ve got my windows rolled down, squeaky toy out the window calling his name and trying to lure him to me to no avail

i go back to the house and we spend some more time yelling for him and walking all around the property for him, but nothing

we finally go back inside and something tells me to just check his crate. seems like a long shot, but just check it

so i do and you’ll never fucking believe what i found in there!!!

the dog!!!

the dog we just spent well over an hour looking for!!!!

the dog who was there the entire time just snug in his bed, all settled in for the night

i’m not sure who put him to bed, my dad swears up and down that he didn’t, but my mom clearly had no recognition of having done it, but someone did because i know it wasn’t me and he can’t get himself in there and close it on his own soooooooooooooooooooo

i think she probably did it and with everything going on (plus drinking, of course) she didn’t remember and as much as i’m sure i should be like...i dunno, mad about it or at the very least frustrated i just feel tired

i feel really, really, really fucking tired

everything is so fucking exhausting all the time and nothing ever stops and i just want it to fucking stop

i’m trying to basically re-learn myself and what my limits are for just existing which is so fucking hard because i feel like i don’t know anything anymore

but i think the cherry that really is sitting on top of this bitch ice cream sundae, though, is that i had made a post on facebook a week or so ago, i think, basically just like, ‘hey, i’m autistic’ and this guy i went to high school with messaged me because he just found out too a couple of years ago so did i want to be friends and i was like, “yeah, of course!”

how nice, y’know, someone who’s just been through this process sorta offering a helping hand and i’ve isolated myself pretty badly so sure, let’s make a friend!!

now, maybe i’m being unfair here because i’m clearly going through a lot but i just get the impression that this is exactly like every other time i get randomly approached by some guy i went to school with where it’s like, “hey, i’m having a tough time but you’re a woman so can you take care of me??’

because he keeps dropping all these hints like yeah, he used to have a girlfriend who was really good about helping him understand all this stuff and yeah, it’s just been kinda hard lately and now he’s just sending me videos of what i’m guessing is his kid and i’ve just completely tapped out at this point

again, maybe i’m being unfair and even outright mean, but it really does seem like every single time i’m going through something hard in my life here comes some fucking guy holding emotional baggage in one hand and a baby in the other going, “Hey, do you want to listen to me talk about myself at great lengths while skimming over the things you say and can you also take care of me? Thanks!!”

No!!!!!! I can’t!!!!!!

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can barely take care of me anymore and still have so much other shit on my plate and i have no idea when i’ll ever get a break from any of this, please stop!!!!!!!

i want connection with other people and i know that’s important and i know i should be trying to foster it as much as i possibly can whenever given the chance but i just feel right now like i’m curled into a ball on the floor screaming, “please stop!!!” and yet there are all of these hand continuously reaching out at me and pulling at me and i don’t know what else i can possibly give, i feel so fucking empty

i want to be able to pour back into other people and be fun and generous and kind and all of those amazing things and i have tried to approach this whole thing with a big smile and optimism that does not naturally occur anywhere in my being because i thought maybe if everyone saw how i hard i was trying while trying to be a good sport about it all that maybe the universe would finally give me a fucking break but no!!!

my therapist gave me the warning this week that as i continue on through this process that it’s likely going to get harder simply because the more relaxed and at peace i feel, the more my mind is going to want to go, “okay, hey so now that we’re in a safe place i have some things i’d like to go over with you”

we even discussed what potential sleep meds i might need to go on because of sleep terrors and shit like that, so like...i’m trying to be as brave as i possibly can be about it and put this shit off for the longest because i was so fucking scared of it and now that i’m finally doing it, it’s like, “hey, did you want more bad things? it seems like you want more bad things, is that right? and more responsibility? wait, did you want both or...y’know what, you can have both, how’s that?”

i hate it and i want it to stop

i just want a fucking break, that’s all i want

[of-another-broken-heart]

Today is my one sister’s birthday.

Tomorrow is mom’s. And (used to be) Nana’s.

My sister in FL is still being housed somewhere safe, but they’re without power for days yet. She’s borrowing someone’s car to be able to go to work still. Her own car is out of order. Her house is leaking.

You have been super absent again. Suddenly, noticeably, sustainably offline. Statistically speaking, this is a heavy indicator that something’s gone pretty wrong. And within that space is the very real possibility you made poor decisions, repeated the same destructive behaviors (because you refuse to keep people around who would hold you accountable to stop these cycles; and you don’t tell your therapist - if you even see her any more - until AFTER you’ve had your spiral and crash), and hurt yourself.

And I’m an anxiety creature, so of course that’s the petrified pulse of my being right now.

And I cannot articulate how furious and disrespected and sick it makes me to be pelted with “hey” from one single relentless direction, without consideration or hesitation or fail. I don’t hate this person but even on good days, they drop that three letter bullshit on me without any warning or assessment - no check to see if I’m busy, maybe not even to see if I’m online (I’m convinced they do it the instant they’re online and able to type) - and I hate that. Just “hey” tells me “I want YOU to know I’M here and I want YOU to respond to ME, and QUICKLY, because I don’t CARE if you’re BUSY or DOING SOMETHING - ALSO I will give no hint or indication of what I’m up to or want to talk about or do, either, because that’s longer than 3 keystrokes and I need MAXIMUM ATTENTION from MINIMAL EFFORT,” and I know! I know I’m a fucking mental for how “hey” translates to me! But you know what? It’s also the trauma from hundreds of repeat messages on dating apps, and empty soulless insincere messages in the years besides. Three pitiful keystrokes; an atom bomb on my mood, on my patience, on everything.

I want to cook. I want to bake. I don’t want to feel hungry.

I can’t even get the energy together to make myself toast. I’ve managed two cups of coffee today. Microwaved the dinner I didn’t eat last night. And I stole the remains of a bag of trail mix from my mom’s bedroom. That’s it. That’s today.

I wandered around the yard briefly, barefoot. Too tired to put on shoes. Need to seize the momentum to move when it strikes, though. And I had a thought about that last food delivery box. The order got refunded, because UPS reportedly lost it. But - I wondered - what if it was delivered and was just sitting at the wrong building? Possible. Not likely. But possible. So I wandered outside. Barefoot. There was no miraculous delivery box. There wasn’t any normal mail, either. I walked the driveway after to find that out.

I need to reach out to the pantry again. I have no way to go, still. My car doesn’t start, still. But sign-ups for the holiday assistance - be it baskets or gift cards - will start soon, and in the event of gift cards, those just get mailed out.

Please be okay. I’m so upset you keep doing this same bullshit, cycle cycle, unbroken - until you break yourself, again. And I’d be all too fucking eager to cut myself on your pieces if it just means I get to help hold you together. You don’t even remember I exist, and there are not words for how badly that hurts. And still - still I’m a fool without the secret of how to fall out of love.

[corysmiles]

Little streamer au, Wilbur catches a minor cold and one day he's too tired to get out of bed, so Tommy decides to show off how epic he is and brings him headache medicine, manages to roll a water bottle to the room, turns the lights off and closes the curtains for him, etc.

Basically Tommy showing off his borrower skills to take care of his bother 💖

-Zeetle

Caring for the Sick

Little streamer au

Notes: THIS IDEA IS AO CUTE I COULDNT PASS IT UP THANK YOU ZEETLE @leetlezeetle my beloved sibling

——————

Wilbur could barely open his eyes when Tommy’s sharp voice woke him up. The midday sun pored through the window to the side of his room. From outside the sounds of people and cars rushed by. The cold medicine he’d taken a few hours earlier still hadn’t worn off all the way, making his body feel like a lead weight. And even though he’d cocooned himself with all the blankets he could find, his skin still felt icy.

When Tommy called out to him again he tried to get up, but sleep still tugged at his limbs and forced him back down against the sheets. It was almost like he was glued to his mattress. He was so exhausted he felt like if he closed his eyes again he could sleep for hours. Maybe then he could ignore how sick he felt.

“Hello,” Tommy yelled again as he walked closer to Wilbur’s face, his feet leaving small indents in the mattress, “You alive in there?”

Wilbur groaned and tried to block his ears, but the tiny just got even closer, his attempts to wake him up unrelenting.

“I didn’t drag all this shit over for nothing big man, get the fuck up,” Tommy said as he tried to pry open Wilbur’s eyelids with his hands, “I’ve got medicine dumbass.”

Wilbur flinched away as tiny fingers prodded at him. He tried to shove his face back into his pillow, but before he could one of Tommy’s fingers landed square in his eye. The sharp pain was enough to make him get up; however, the urge to throw the tiny across the room grew as the boy laughed.

“You fucker,” Wilbur groaned as he rubbed his eye, “I’m sick let me rest.”

Tommy shrugged, “Yeah and I’ve got medicine for you. Now stop bitching and let me help you.”

Once Wilbur could open his eye again without it stinging he spared a look to the tiny on his sheets. Really, he thought Tommy had been joking about helping him through his cold. Tommy has argued that Wilbur always helped him, but Wilbur couldn’t see any way tommy could help him in a human-sized house. It wasn’t like Wilbur could help him grab things when he was stuck in bed, so as much as Tommy said he wanted to help, Wilbur didn’t expect much.

Yet to his surprise, laying next to Tommy on his wrinkled sheets, were a handful of pills and a bottle of water at least three times the tiny’s size.

“You gonna stare more or are you gonna take it?” Tommy laughed, shocking Wilbur out of his haze.

“What-” Wilbur’s brows tightened, “How the fuck did you get all this?”

Tommy leaned his arm against the water bottle and shrugged nonchalantly, as if the mere idea of him moving the bottle wasn’t insane to Wilbur.

“I don’t know big man, just dragged it out of the fridge and rolled it over,” Tommy tilted his head, “Not really a big deal.”

“But how the hell did you open the fridge?” Wilbur’s eyes widened as he leaned closer to the tiny, “And how’d you get the medicine out of the cabinet- how the fuck did you even reach that?”

Wilbur was barely aware of how close his face was to the tiny until Tommy laughed and spit landed right on his nose. He recoiled in disgust, but it only earned more laughter from the amused tiny.

“Just used some string. I tied it to a clip and threw it up to the cabinet. Then I just dragged all the shit down. Don’t tell me, is the Wilbur Soot impressed with me?” Tommy asked in a sing-song voice.

A nagging part of his brain told him this was probably nothing more than a cold-medicine influenced fever dream. That there was no way Tommy could do this, or want to do this, for him.

His body ached as he slowly pushed himself up onto his elbow. His muscles cried at the strain from staying in bed all day, but he forced himself to take the water and the medicine. Tommy watched proudly as he threw the pills in his mouth and gulped down as much water as he could. He hadn’t even realized how thirsty he had been until the bottle was completely empty and his body still ached for more.

The bottle crinkled as he put it back down next to Tommy before he let himself fall back against the sheets. Instantly he relaxed into the sheets, wanting to curl around himself like a child. The bustling sounds from outside his apartment became a haze in his mind as the new dose of cold medicine kicked in. He was about to fall back asleep when he heard a loud shout from Tommy.

He had been so comfortable he didn’t even realize he’d knocked the tiny over when he laid back down. Tommy grumbled in frustration from where he was pinned under Wilbur’s arm, but the human couldn’t help but smile in amusement. His grin only grew as he pressed down a bit more until Tommy was completely stuck between the sheets and the back of his arm.

“You asshole let me go,” Tommy hissed as he pounded at Wilbur’s skin, “I help you and this is what I get?”

Wilbur nodded lazily and reached forward with his other hand so he could wrap his fingers around the tiny. Tommy struggled for a second and tried to push the massive fingers away, but when Wilbur’s grip didn’t loosen, he relaxed and let Wilbur pick him up.

For about the a-millionth time Wilbur was awe struck by just how small Tommy looked between his fingers. Tommy was about the same size as his thumb, and he was dwarfed by his other fingers. Carefully, he pulled the tiny closer to his face and ran his thumb over his head. Even though Tommy tried to hold on to his angry demeanour, Wilbur didn’t miss how he leaned into the touch.

“See, you like it,” Wilbur laughed softly.

Immediately, Tommy’s attempts to escape increased as he tried to free himself from Wilbur’s fingers. However, his effort was useless since Wilbur just held him a bit tighter to keep him still.

“This is unfair,” Tommy pouted, with one last punch to Wilbur’s thumb.

Wilbur just hummed in response, the haze from the medicine taking over again. Carefully, he pulled the struggling tiny to his chest so that he could feel his small breaths against his skin. And even though Tommy kept fighting he could tell he didn’t actually mind by how he stopped prying at Wilbur’s fingers. Instead all he got were a few curses thrown his way before Tommy relaxed and let himself be held. Once the boy stopped his wiggling Wilbur curled himself around his cupped hands and pulled the sheets over so Tommy would be warm too.

“Thanks Tom,” Wilbur whispered sleepily.

He just barely heard a whispered response from Tommy before sleep took hold of his mind. With the warmth of his sheets and the haze from the medicine Tommy had brought him he was finally able to drift to sleep.

[jungwonenthusiast]

Friends Don't Lie Ch. 1

Pairing: Jungwon x reader

Warnings for this chapter: underage drinking and smoking, mention of porn

Chapter word count: 2k

Based on: Stranger Things

Sunoo

“Can we play please?” Sunoo pleads, tugging at Sunghoon's sleeve.

“No, you’re not a baby.” he rolls his eyes.

“Who said d and d was for babies?” Sunoo scoffs and plops onto the couch.

“Everyone,” Jay says while trying on one of Jungwon’s jackets. “Even Niki doesn’t play anymore.”

Sunoo groans. “You guys are boring.”

“I’ll play with you.” Jake ruffles his hair.

“We need at least four people.” he whines.

“You guys play, we’re gonna go to the drive-in.” Niki says.

“And do what? Makeout with people and get gonorrhea?”

“That’s not how STDs work, dumbass.” Jay laughs.

“Whatever,” Sunoo rolls his eyes again.

“It’ll be fun man, just come with us.” Jungwon grabs at his arm. “Plus you like scary movies.”

“It’s Videorome, isn’t that movie about porn?” Sunoo frowns.

“Just come,” Jungwon begs. “I’m gonna be the only one without a chick, you have to keep me company.”

“I’m just gonna go home, Heeseung hyung will be mad if I stay out.” Sunoo stands up and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“You gonna bike home?” Jake asks while spritzing cologne on his neck.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Sunoo says while making his way up the basement stairs.

“See you.”

“Bye Ddeonu.” Jay teases.

Sunoo walks by Mrs. Yang who’s cleaning up the kitchen.

“Bye Mrs. Yang, thank you for dinner, it was delicious.” he smiles at her.

“Of course Sunoo-shi, are you going home now? I thought you boys were going to the drive in?”

He shrugs. “Yeah but I figured I should go home so that my hyung doesn’t worry.”

She smiles and pats his head. “Such a sweet boy, tell him I said hi alright?”

He nods and heads out the door.

It’s pitch black out and the air feels dry.

Sunoo mounts his bike and starts to peddle home, but something moving in the corner of his eye catches his attention.

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Jungwon

Jungwon feels bad. He hates feeling this way. It’s eating at his conscience.

“Why are you guys so mean to Sunoo?” Jungwon says while steering his Camaro.

“What are you talking about?” Jay lights a cigarette and Jungwon slaps it out of his hand.

“Don’t smoke in here, my mom will kill me.” he scolds.

Jay rolls his eyes and throws it out the window.

“It’s just our way of showing affection.” Sunghoon says with Niki sitting on his lap. The car doesn’t have nearly enough seats to fit all of them, but they make it work.

“You need help if you think that’s what affection is.” Jungwon grumbles.

Jake shakes his shoulder. “Loosen up Jungwon, he knows we love him.”

“I hope.” he replies.

Jungwon always wishes he could be nicer to Sunoo. Everytime he sees him he thinks, I should compliment Sunoo or tell him that I appreciate him. But he never does and he hates himself for it.

Jungwon parks in their usual spot.

“I’m gonna go try to con us some beers.” Jay says before hopping out the car.

“Don’t get arrested.” Sunghoon jokes.

Jake rolls down the window to chat with the girls next to them.

Jungwon slumps into his seat. Something feels wrong. They go to the drive in all the time, but something feels off. Everything feels, sounds, and smells the same. But there’s a tinge of pain in Jungwon’s heart. Maybe Jay’s cigs are starting to get to me, he thinks, but he knows that he’s lying to himself.

“Can you just go to her car?” Sunghoon groans. “We exist too you know?”

“Fine,” Jake opens to car door and merrily makes his way to her Ford.

Jay comes jogging up to the car with two cans of beer in each hand. “I am incredible.”

“Indeed you are.” Sunghoon reaches out for one. Niki does too but Jay pulls his hand away.

“No way man.” Jay chuckles and Niki groans.

“I’m literally taller than you.”

“And I weigh more,” Jay says. “No beer until you’re seventeen.”

Jay hands Jungwon a can and he reluctantly cracks it open. He never liked beer but he figured he needed it today.

He lets the bitter substance go down his throat. He holds his breath before swallowing so that he can’t taste it.

Jungwon watches the movie in a daze. The alcohol has gone to his head and everything feels calmer despite the gore being displayed on the screen.

“Shit, it’s eleven thirty.” Jake says. “I’ll drive us home, you’re all too drunk.”

“I can drive.” Jungwon insists.

“No you can’t.” Jake pulls him up by the arms and guides him to the backseat.

Jungwon rests his head on his hand as Jake drops everyone off.

“Alright get up Won, we’re here.” Jake parks the Camaro in the driveway.

“I’m tired.” Jungwon whines and gets up sluggishly.

“You’re such a lightweight.” Jake chuckles and helps him to the door. “Get to your room before your parents see you.”

“Roger that.” Jungwon mumbles and tries to sober up before heading through the door.

The stairs moan underneath his feet as he quietly climbs them. He can hear Jooyoung chatting on the phone as he walks to his room.

He changes into pajamas and heads to the bathroom. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are half open.

“Damn, I am a lightweight.” he says while observing his face in the mirror.

He splashes water on his face and rakes his hands through his hair.

The bathroom light flickers. He furrows his brow.

“I thought dad fixed that last week.”

He washes up quietly and knocks on Jooyoung’s door.

“What?” she calls out.

He creaks the door open. “Don’t be on the phone for too long noona, mom will get mad.”

She rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t need to know, don’t be a snitch.”

“I never am.” he sighs and closes the door.

He climbs into bed and turns to look at the photo on his nightstand. It’s him and the gang at seventh grade graduation.

Jay is smiling big and towering over the rest of them. He was always the tallest among them and Jungwon was dead jealous.

Jake’s arm is slung around Jungwon and Jungwon’s arm is around little Sunoo. Sunoo’s smile is bright and cute. His suit jacket is too big for him, he probably borrowed it from Heeseung.

Jungwon still remembers the day he and Sunoo met. It was the first day of kindergarten. Sunoo was alone on the swing set, staring at his feet. Jungwon had a few friends that he met in preschool but he wondered what the harm was to have one more. He asked Sunoo if he wanted to be friends. It was the best decision he ever made.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Breakfast!” Jungwon’s mom calls out as he pulls on a striped polo.

He skips down the stairs and sits down at the dining table.

“Have you seen Sunoo? Heeseung called this morning.” Mrs. Yang says while handing him a plate of waffles, bacon, and eggs.

“No, I thought he biked home.” Jungwon cocks a brow while pouring syrup over all of his food.

“That’s disgusting.” Jooyoung remarks while taking a seat next to him.

“Your face is disgusting.” he jeers.

“Well make sure he’s at school today okay? Heeseung sounded really worried.” Mrs. Yang sits down next to her husband.

“Does he think he got kidnapped or something? As if anyone would want him.” Jooyoung snickers.

“Fuck off, that’s not funny.” Jungwon says.

“Language.” Mr. Yang says sternly.

“She’s being an ass.” Jungwon rolls his eyes.

“What did you just call me?” Jooyoung’s head snaps towards him.

“Whatever.” he dismisses her.

She shoves his shoulder. “No, say it again.”

“Stop it! Both of you!” Mrs. Yang yells. “Can we not have one peaceful breakfast?”

“I can, I don’t know about her though.” Jungwon grumbles.

“I’ll kill you.” Jooyoung grits her teeth.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Jungwon replies.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sunoo’s not at school.

“Do you think he’s sick or something?” Jake wonders.

“That doesn’t make sense though, his mom said he never came home last night.” Jungwon chews on his pencil.

“Maybe he went to someone’s house.” Jay suggests and Jungwon gives him a look.

“Who’s house would he have gone to? We’re his only friends.”

Jay shrugs. “Maybe he has a secret lover.” Sunghoon chuckles.

“Why aren’t you guys taking this seriously? Something could have happened.” Jungwon crosses his arms.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Nothing bad ever happens in this shit town anyway.” Jake says right as Mr. Jones walks into the classroom.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Jungwons heart drops further and further into his stomach as the day goes on with no sign of Sunoo.

The boys are playing basketball during p.e when Principal Coleman and a policeman walk into the gym.

“I wonder who’s weed they found.” Jay jokes but his smile diminishes as the two men approach them.

“Gentlemen we need to speak to you,” Principal Coleman says, “outside that is.”

They all give each other nervous looks but follow suit. Jungwon can feel eyes on his back as he makes his way out of the door.

“Do you know what route Sunoo takes to get home?” the chief says. He towers over them and his biceps look the same width as Jungwon's thighs.

“Yeah, he takes Mirkwood.” Jungwon replies quickly.

“Don’t fucking call it that anymore.” Jay rolls his eyes.

“What the hell is Mirkwood?” the man says and crosses his arms. “Stop messing around, this is serious.”

“It’s where Cornwallis and Kerley meet.” Jake says.

“Why do you call it Mirkwood?” the cop says, unimpressed.

“It’s from The Hobbit.” Jungwon says and Jay shoves his shoulder.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.” Jungwon exclaims.

“So what happened to Sunoo?” Sunghoon says plainly. “Where is he?”

“We’re not sure, he’s probably at his Dad’s-”

“Why would he go there, his dad’s a cock.” Jay argues.

“His dad sucks.” Sunghoon says under his breath.

“Enough, let me do my job alright?” the cop says, exasperated.

“We can help look for him, we know all the places he likes to go.” Jungwon says with hopeful eyes and Niki nods.

“Yeah, we can help.” Jake says.

“No,” the cop shakes his head. “After school you are all to go home, and if I see any of you searching around, I’ll have you in shackles. Is that clear?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“We have to.”

“What if we get caught?”

“Then we run.” Jay says while packing a backpack of supplies.

“You think we can out run him?” Jungwon gets up and pulls a jacket on.

“Of course we can, that dude was huge.” Niki says while chugging down a Coke.

“Don’t drink that,” Sunghoon tsks. “You’ll have to pee.”

“I’ll just piss in the woods.” Niki rebuttals.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The sun had set an hour ago and the stars were twinkling bright.

“Where are you boys going?” Mrs. Yang asks while watching tv on the couch.

“Party.” Jungwon says quickly.

“With backpacks?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Uhm, yeah.” Jungwon nods and she giggles.

“You’re not a good liar Jungwon-ah. Have fun, don’t be stupid out there.” she says and they happily head out the door.

Jungwon drives to Mirkwood with his headlights off. He couldn’t risk getting caught, that cop scared the shit of him.

“There’s a barricade.” Jake says quietly.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon says while getting out of the car, pulling his flashlight out of his backpack. “Shit, it’s raining.” Jay wipes a raindrop off of his cheek.

Jungwon takes his flashlight out and pulls his hood over his head.

They hop over the blockade and venture into the dense woods.

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It’s pouring at this point and their hoods are only making things worse.

They can’t even hear their footsteps over the sound of crashing rain.

“What are we supposed to be looking for?” Jake asks.

“Anything, his bike, his jacket, him.” Jay says.

Jungwon was starting to regret this decision. They’ve been walking for what seemed like hours with no clue of Sunoo.

“Maybe we should turn back,” Jungwon says. “This isn’t working.”

“No,” Jay says. “We need to keep looking, cops miss shit all the time.”

“Hold on hold on,” Jake stops in his tracks.

“What?” everyone asks.

“Shut up, do you hear that?” he says and they all try to open their ears. There’s rustling coming from ahead. Something is coming towards them.

“Fuck.” Jungwon whispers and grabs onto Jay's arm.

They all lift their flashlights to find a human in nothing but an oversized yellow shirt, breathing heavily and squinting from the lights blinding their eyes.

[ijustwant2write]

The Cheat-Thomas Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @myimaginesworld​)

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/N) makes the biggest mistake of her life in one night, praying that her husband will never find out. But no matter how hard she tries to hide it, Thomas Shelby knows everything.

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Cheating, swearing, mentions of weapon, angst, arguing, divorce, threats, rape, violence, death

                                          *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Why had I been so stupid?

I was a reckless woman, a cheater, a filthy, lying cheater. He didn’t deserve this. Not after everything he had been through. Not after everything he had done for me. Yet here I was, hunched up in shock whilst laying in another man’s bed, miles away from my own home.

My wedding ring reflected the light coming through the window, reminding me that I was indeed a married woman. My eyes shut quickly, blocking out the sight of it. It was a cruel tease, rubbing the salt in an already huge open wound. How was I supposed to get out of this? What was I going to do?

The truth is I’m not going to get out of this and I can’t do anything about that.

Everyone knew who I was. I wasn’t going to sneak away easily. If someone spotted me, Tommy would find out almost immediately. Sometimes it was scary how powerful he was. The stranger beside me was still asleep, giving me the chance to get away. Slowly shifting out of bed, I shivered at the coldness, my body covered in goosebumps within seconds. Our clothes were tangled up together, just as we were last night, meaning it was taking longer than it should have for me to escape. I hadn’t even put my underwear back on before I heard him stir. Freezing, my head whipped round to see if he was waking up, and much to my dismay, he was already looking at me, a smirk on his lips.

Without hesitating, I grabbed my purse from the floor, not even fumbling as I pulled out my gun, aiming it right at his head. His eyes widened, mouth falling open in shock.

“If you speak a word of this to anyone, or even think about it, I’ll have a Peaky Blinder take your eyes. Or I could get it all over with now and save you the pain.” I threatened.

He furiously nodded, not able to say anything.

“You don’t know me, you never saw me, and you were never with me. Do you understand?”

He repeated his actions, managing to squeak out a ‘yes’. I felt like I couldn’t move, that if I did, he would somehow shout out to the world that we had slept together. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

(Y/N), you’re standing stark naked in front a man with a gun. 

“Where’s the best exit to sneak away?” I composed myself, slowly lowering the gun.

“O-out the back. It’s a tiny alleyway.”

Standing still for a few more seconds, I made sure he wasn’t going to do anything stupid, continuing to hastily change back into the clothes from the night before.

“You got a hat? A coat?”

“Downstairs.”

“Good, remember what I said. It wasn’t a bluff.”

Rushing downstairs, I took the hat and coat he spoke of, glad that they were big, better to hide myself with. Finding my way to the kitchen, I spotted the back door to the tiny yard, which had a gate leading to the alley. Although I was quick in my step, I had to look normal, not suspicious. It was still very early morning, a slight fog layered the streets (good, another advantage for myself). My mind began to relax a little, seeing that no one was about, until a distinctive voice called out to me.

“No point hiding Mrs Shelby.” Johnny called out from down the street. 

He was leaning against a car, obviously borrowed from Tommy, hands in his pockets with one leg crossed over the other. I glared at him, quickly checking my empty surroundings before marching over to him. 

“Keep your voice down!” I hissed at him, worried that people would be spying through their windows. 

“He knows (Y/N).”

I hated the look on his face. It was a look of disgust, bewilderment, he couldn’t believe I had done such a horrible thing to the man I loved. Why would a woman who had it all, throw everything away in one night? I was married to one of the most powerful men in the country, he could give me anything I wanted, provide protection, money, anything I asked for! And here I was at the crack of dawn, in last night’s clothes and sneaking out like a teenager.

No more words were exchanged as Johnny drove me home. I could see why he was sent to fetch me. Perhaps he would try and get something out of me, or make me slip up. Any old bodyguard would have no effect on me. It also meant the staff knew less about the situation, though I knew word would spread around soon enough.

If I didn’t feel sick already, I surely did now. Johnny parked up all too soon in front of the house, the tires on the gravel making too much noise for my liking. The sun was only just peeking over the horizon, but I wanted to keep hiding in the darkness. Johnny opened the door for me, and I hesitated to get out, dreading what I could be in for. Would it be a screaming match? Would he be silent? Or would I be facing something more...violent?

Slowly stepping out of the car, I avoided eye contact with Johnny Dogs, trying to clear my mind before I had to face Tommy. My legs buckled slightly, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the after effects of alcohol or the fear surging through me. Going into this extravagant house felt wrong. I had decided to stay in a run down, tiny, dirty house squeezed in amongst other properties, rather than this luscious home last night. Now here I was, walking in as if I didn’t live here. This could be the last time I ever stood in these very walls.

If anyone else was here, they wouldn’t have to tell me where to go. He was going to be in his office, cigarette in his mouth and a glass of whiskey in his hand. He would remain silent as I walked in, take his time, maybe down the rest of his drink before speaking. I knew Tommy. He was my husband after all.

My hands were clammy as I opened the door, seeing the back of him as he stared out of the window. I was right about the cigarette and glass. I silently took in a deep breath, approaching the desk timidly, as if I was a child getting told off. That’s how meek I felt, he was practically going to do that, but instead of being sent to my room, I was going to be kicked out of the house. 

“This is late for you. You were never one to stay out that late.” he started, still not looking at me.

I struggled to think of a response.

“The only time you’ve seen the sunrise is when you waited for me, after that big fight. If I hadn’t married you before that day, I certainly would have then.”

I deserved that.

He turned to face me.“Maybe I should have held my breath.”

My voice was extremely shaky as I spoke, tears already rolling down my cheeks."Tommy, I could say this a million times but it will never express how deeply I feel this. I am so sorry for what I did. You know that I would do anything I could to change all of this-"

"You knew what you were doing."

"I-I don't know how to explain it-"

"You fucked another man, (Y/N). Plain and simple." he stubbed out his cigarette harshly, slamming down the glass at the same time.

"No, I ruined everything, I just...I don't understand why I did it!"

"I don't either. Come on then, let's figure it out together." I hated how patronising he was being.

"Tommy I-"

"It can't be me. I haven't slept with anyone. I've given you a good life, haven't I? Was there something you didn't like? Perhaps you didn't like the way the cooks scrambled your eggs in the morning? Or maybe the newest dress I bought for you wasn't up to standards for you?"

"Fucking stop it Tommy!" I raised my voice.

"Oh, you're raising your voice at me now? I didn't realise I was the one in the wrong."

"I know what I did was ducking stupid, and the most disgusting thing I've ever done. I've broken a promise from our marriage, I've deceived you, I acted as if I didn't love you, and for the life of me, I don't know why!"

"I'm not giving you time to figure that out."

"What?"

"I want you out of this house."

"Tommy, please-"

"You knew this was coming as soon as you woke up this morning."

"Yes, and I've been trying to think how I could fix this."

"Well?"

I opened my mouth, quickly closing it when I had no idea what to say.

"Ah, nothing. That's what I thought."

"Tommy-"

"No, fucking enough. You've done the damage."

"But, why can't we do something to fix this?"

"Because it's a big fucking mess. And I don't have the time nor patience to deal with something like this."

"Y-you're not even going to try? Just give up on us like that?"

"Might want to remind yourself what you did last night. I want you out of the house by the morning. You can have a portion of money to keep you going, I won't put you on the streets."

"Tommy, I love you! I want to forget this happened, learn from this-"

"Learn from this? Fucking learn?!"

He wasn't listening, and it was making me angry."Oh, like you're a saint and haven't slept with multiple women!"

"Not whilst I was married! You can try to justify all of this to make yourself feel better, but it won't change what you've done."

"I know! And it's killing me!"

“So how do you think that makes me feel?!” he shouted.“You betrayed me! You were one of the few people I trusted.”

“You can trust me!”

Tommy’s eyes were wide.“Are you fucking stupid?! I am not going to stand here all morning shouting at you. There is no resolving this.”

“B-but...”

“I can’t be with someone who goes behind my back. If this was the other way around, you would be thinking the exact same. So don’t tell me what we’re going to do, because we’re not going to do anything. It’s over (Y/N).”

                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I let out a heavy huff as I leaned back in my chair, staring at the numbers written out in front of me. After the divorce, Tommy stayed true to his world, giving me a big quantity of money. I had enough to buy a small house, I could live off of the rest for at least a year, maybe a year and a half. However, I knew I would have to start working again. I wasn’t against that, it would mean I could make friends at least. But it would be difficult to find an employer that wanted the ex-wife of Thomas Shelby.

Tommy was able to file for the divorce papers extremely quickly, meaning I was out of the house and his life much sooner than I thought. That didn’t stop me from trying. I apologised everyday, trying to convince Tommy nothing like that would ever happen again, even as the movers were taking my belongings out of the house. But hid mind was made up. I had lost him, I lost the man I loved. 

I heard a thud outside, as if someone had slammed the garden gate. At first I tried to shake it off, it was slightly windy. Perhaps I didn’t put it on the latch properly. When I didn’t hear anything else, I ignored it, looking back on my calculations. I didn’t have to panic about money just yet, though it was still a good idea to be prepared. I was about to redo my numbers, wanting to double check my answers when another sound echoed outside. This time I kept my guard up, heading to my purse on the side and getting out my gun. Turning off the lights, I peeked out of the windows, checking all around the house, but didn’t find anything. There were no more noises, no signs of anyone trying to break in. I was being paranoid, because I found myself lying awake, gun clasped in my hand and staring at the phone, debating if I should call him.

“Hello?”

I had given in.“Tom, it’s (Y/N). Please don’t put the phone down!”

“What do you want? It’s the middle of the night.”

“You say that as if you have a regular sleep schedule.”

He didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry, this is going to sound stupid but I think someone is watching me. I heard noises earlier and just have a strange feeling, like the one I got when-”

“And what do you want me to do about that?”

I was shocked.“I...I had no one else to call. I just thought-”

“Go to bed (Y/N), there’s no one out to get you, not anymore.”

The phone was slammed down, and I couldn’t comprehend what just happened. Tommy may have hated me, despise me even, but what if I was truly in danger? Would he never be there to help me again? It seemed stupid to ask such a question, however, after having years of someone looking out for you. There was no rest for me that night, I couldn’t recall my eyes shutting for more than a second. Not only was I kept awake from the fear, I also couldn’t stop thinking about my ex-husband’s behaviour.

With heavy bags under my eyes, I dragged my feet along the pavement, arms aching from carrying all my food shopping. I hated how far away I was from my home on days like this. I wish I could have afforded to keep my car, another thing Tommy gifted to me. Trying to conjure up any sort of energy left from yesterday, I pushed myself onwards. But as I tried to keep positive, a man practically jumped around the corner of a building, causing us to collide, my food spilling everywhere.

“What the fuck?!” I snapped out of instinct.

“You can’t talk to us like that.” he snarled.

“Who? Actually, I don’t care.”

I bent down to pick up what I could, when someone from behind scooped their arms underneath mine, dragging me backwards. I screamed out loudly, making my body go limp and heavy to make it difficult for whoever had a hold of me. What made me more scared was the fact that there were at least three people walking by, all turning their heads away as if it made me invisible. Flailing around, my heart started racing as I realised I might not escape this, especially as we were met with more men. 

“What are you doing?!” I yelled out.

“Avenging those taken from us, by your husband.” one of them growled.

“I’m not with him anymore!”

“Too late to go back now.”

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The two policemen fidgeted as they stood on the doorstep of Thomas Shelby’s house. They had no power over this man, he had somehow legally/illegally made his way up in the world, bought a huge house, multiple cars, lots of land...and always managed to cover up his tracks. However, today they had to forget about that, they were here on serious business.

Tommy sat at his desk, surrounded by a cloud of smoke from his cigarette. He was preparing for a family meeting, they had a lot of work to do. There was a knock at his office door, and he called for the servant to enter, not even looking up from his papers. 

“Mr Shelby, there are two policemen here to see you.” they explained.

Tommy wasn’t phased. He knew he hadn’t left any tracks from any recent plan of his.“Alright, let them in.”

The policemen timidly entered, approaching the desk. Tommy didn’t bother standing, putting out his cigarette and waiting for them to speak.

“Mr Shelby, I’m afraid we have some...unfortunate news.” one of them started.

“And what would that be then?” 

The officers glanced at each other, scared what could happen to them when they revealed the news.“It’s about your ex-wife, Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She’s dead.”

Tommy felt like his heart stopped for a second.“What?”

“She was found dead in an alley way. It appeared she was...forced there, raped, beaten and killed.”

His gaze fell lower, shock filling his system. (Y/N) was dead. She had called him too. She was scared and he did nothing because of the spite in him.

“We’re sorry for your loss, sir. But, we also need to have someone come confirm the body is hers. It’s procedure and-”

“Get out.”

“Yes sir. We will arrange something at a later time.”

The officers scurried away and out of the house as quickly as they could. The servant waiting on the outside of the door had heard every single word, instantly rushing to inform their co-workers. (Y/N) had been a good employer, she didn’t deserve to die that way.

Tommy let out a painful yell as he swiped everything off of his desk. papers went flying, the glass full of old cigarettes and ash smashed along with his glass of whiskey. He kept screaming, not knowing how else to let go of his rage. He pushed over chairs, smashed statues and it still didn’t help. His chest raised up and down as he breathed heavily. His eyes were like saucers, hands gripped into fists as he debated what else he could smash. 

What would have happened if he had just helped her? She wasn’t asking for him to love her or take her back. He was the only person she knew that could protect her. She was alone, scared and asked for the smallest thing. Would she still be alive if he sent men out to patrol around her house? Could she at least escaped with a few bruises? Those men wanted revenge because of something he did, because of his killing. His worst fear had come true. (Y/N) was gone, and this was something he could never fix. 

[anxiousstark]

The three times JJ tried not to break down + the time he did | JJ MAYBANK

Request:  “Fluff request: The day after JJ has a fight with his dad, the reader and JJ stay in bed laying down facing each other and their noses are touching and they have their hands intertwined and the reader is telling JJ everything she loves about him.”

Word Count: 1977

Warnings: Changed it a little bit. Mentions of abuse, drugs, blood, swearing (always). Didn’t proofread much, I’m tired.

All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.

BIG MASTERLIST

You couldn't help but laugh loudly as JJ Maybank guided you around the beach, dancing under the moonlight. His chest rumbled while he examined how dizzy you felt from going in circles. "It's coming. It's coming." He warned. His left hand ended up resting on your waist while his right hand, was intertwined with yours. "I'm going to dip you." And he did. And when he did, you had the best view, even though everything seemed to move as you were dizzy from laughing and dancing so much with him. You could see JJ Maybank's face and the fully-starred dark sky behind him.

JJ let you fall on the sand gently, falling next to you and breathing hard. You were still laughing, serotonin running through your veins.

"You guys are stupid," Kiara smirked, sitting down on the sand, cuddling Pope whose arms were wide open, hoping to hug the girl he was in love with, and warming her up as the night seemed to be cold. "I admire you two not having worries at all." She sighed, still smiling.

"Ugh," The blond next to you groaned. "You are just jealous because I prefer Y/N as my dancing partner." He teased her, making her roll her eyes. "And she prefers me." He glanced at you.

Turning your head to the side to look at him, you nodded. "But I think we didn't dance much, most likely we were going in circles." You grinned. The boy laughed, coughing due to how hard he was laughing. Happily, you gazed at the sky. "I'm sleepy." Yawning, you turned on your side, getting closer to JJ. His left arm was under his head while his right arm immediately brought you closer to him, helping you rest your head on his chest.

You liked JJ Maybank, but you always believed that he was far from your reach. And (probably) he just saw you as his closest friend. However, even if it killed you deep inside, you would stay like you were if that meant JJ Maybank would be the happiest person in the world because he deserved it more than anyone else.

But.

When Kiara had said that she admired how both of you had nothing to worry about, she didn't know the weight he carried on his back due to the situation in his house. JJ didn't cough because he was laughing too hard, he coughed because his father had beaten him last night and his tummy was full of red bruises, turning into purple and green.

JJ and you were the only ones in the Chateau. Sarah and Kie and went out grocery shopping, dragging John B with them. Pope was coming later as he had to help his dad with some late deliveries. Therefore, the Maybank boy, and you were the only ones, playing with a volleyball you had found while going to the Chateau.

JJ tried not to be competitive, not wanting to hit the ball with too much strength, accidentally hitting you and causing you pain. Hence, he tried to use a suitable strength, passing the ball to you. You were doing the same.

However, the ball fell to the ground as you saw two cars getting too close to both of you. "JJ," You whispered without turning around to glance at him. You just felt his hand grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him as he saw some people getting out of the car, coming closer to both of you in quick steps. "Who are they?"

"I don't know." He noticed that those young adults looked furious. He didn't like the way they were getting closer to the both of you, especially because two of them were grabbing basketball bats. "Just stay behind me, okay?"

"JJ Maybank, right?" One of them asked. He seemed to be the leader. The blond boy nodded, which was the only thing you could see as you were listening to him, staying behind him. His arms were extended because everyone would have to pass over his dead body to get to you. That wouldn't happen. "Your fucking dad said to come to find you. He said you would pay us."

"What?" You didn't know what they were talking about. "He lied to you all. I have nothing to do with him, especially with that topic." He growled. "I don't even have money for myself. He is avoiding paying you all."

"Well, I don't care," The man gritted his yellow teeth. He seemed to be young, but he looked so fucked up. "I care about my money."

"Well, I don't care," JJ answered back. "I care about you all getting out of here because I have nothing to do with that son of a bitch."

The man walked closer to both of you, his hands gripping JJ's shirt collar, moving him harshly until his back hit the trunk of a tree. "I want my fucking money! And I don't care what I have to do to get it." He spitted on his face.

"Oh," God no, you knew that tone. You knew JJ was going to be sarcastic, and you were already shaking from fear. "So you are into BDSM?"

"Oh, so you are one of those funny guys, uh?" He made a gesture with his head. One of the other men walked closer to you, one of those who had a bat. You tried to step back, but he quickly grabbed your arm. "Let's see how much you laugh now, boy."

Maybank noticed what was going on, his eyes going from the man that was grabbing you to his bat. "Don't you dare."

"Let's show the boy that we don't joke around with mad drug dealers that are anxious to get their fucking money." Another gesture. Next thing you knew, the bat had hit your upper thigh, making you gasp. Eyes glistened due to the pain he had inflicted.

"Dude," JJ screamed, spitting all over the man's face. "I'm not fucking kidding, you hear me?" He glanced at the man that was seizing you. "I will fucking go crazy and kill all of you if you touch her again, you hear me?!" He started fighting against the man that had him clutched by his collar, trying to get away from him. "Don't you fucking even look at her!" He continued screaming, which made you break down, sobbing violently. "Don't be fucking cowards! Come at me! She has nothing to do with this!"

And that's how you ended up being seized too, so you wouldn't run to JJ while the others were beating the shit out of him. When they left, you ran to him. He was just there; pale, spitting blood, not being able to move from the ground. And thankfully, the others arrived, shocked to see their bloody friend laying on the ground while you were on your knees, crying and asking him what you could do to help him.

While explaining the situation as best as you could while sobbing hysterically, John B and Pope helped JJ sit down, giving him some time before they would help him inside the Chateau. Kiara was searching the aid kit, and Sarah had gone inside to get a glass of water so JJ could clean his bloody mouth.

"H-Hey," JJ stopped you from talking or weeping. "T-That was n-nothing. I-I'm perfectly f-f-fine."

No, he wasn't.

"Hey, we can't leave yet." You furrowed your eyebrows, glancing at your friends, who were excited to get into the water. "JJ isn't here."

"He texted me saying he can't come today. Said he felt sick." Pope shrugged. What?

JJ texted Pope Heyward to tell him that he wouldn't join you all today, and that was strange. That was so rare. You were always JJ's first option when he needed to call or text someone. Okay, maybe you were overreacting, and nothing was going on. But you couldn't help but feel this uneasy feeling thinking that maybe JJ texted Pope because he was mad at you, or something had happened to him.

Intrusive thoughts run through your head, making you even more anxious. "I'm going to bail on you guys!" You ran to John B, showing him your hand, asking to borrow his car. He placed the keys on your hand without asking where you were going. "Have fun! Don't wait up for me!" You screamed while running towards the car.

Your heart broke.

Your heart broke because you had noticed that JJ avoided talking about his dad. He never talked about his family, claiming that the Pogues were the only people he needed.

Your heart broke because you had noticed how he seemed to avoid swimming, not wanting to take his shirt off. You noticed how his confidence disappeared. You noticed all those things but tried to convince yourself that everything was alright. Because the last time you asked JJ if he was doing fine, he avoided the topic.

Your heart broke because you had parked the car at the end of the street. An empty street if only JJ Maybank's father wasn't hitting him repeatedly, pushing him inside their house. You gasped and got mad at yourself for not coming out of the car and insulting that son of a bitch. But maybe walking closer to JJ would make his dad even madder, hitting him harder. That's why you waited for the right moment.

You closed the door behind you, trying not to make any sound. Going upstairs and cursing yourself lowly when the old wood creaked. "Fuck, where was it?" Finding the door you were searching for, you opened it slowly.

The person lying on the bed quickly turned to glance at you, terrified of someone breaking in his house. "Y/N?" The blond boy turned on the lamp that was beside him. "H-How?" He glanced at you with a confused expression decorating his face. "D-Did you just break into my house?"

You nodded your head, taking off your shoes and getting into his bed. His face was full of bruises and scratches. Biting your lower lip, you tried not to cry for him. "You taught me to do so," Both of you were lying on your stomachs, facing each other. "JJ," You started, getting closer to him until your noses were touching and his hot breathe fanned over your face. "I love you," You swallowed. "I love you more than a friend does, and I want you to know that you are so loved. We love everything about you. I love everything about you."

JJ's face came even closer, his lips grazing yours, too emotionally tired to kiss you as bad as he wanted since you guys were fifteen. He pecked your lips. "I love you too."

"You know we all are here, right?" Your left hand found his right, clutching it as gently and firmly as you could.

He nodded his head. "He makes me feel like I'm not worth anything." His eyes got teary until he couldn't hold the tears anymore, running down his red cheeks due to the pain and anger he felt.

"I'm going to beat him up," JJ chuckled. "The way you would give your own life for everyone you love? The way someone hurts you deeply, but you would still give them a second choice because you believe people should have opportunities? The way you move me away from the road when we are walking, and you get that place? The way you always remember to buy everyone's favourite snacks when it's your turn to do grocery shopping for the Chateau? The way you smile and make everyone feel better?" The way-."

"Okay, okay," He stopped you, pecking your lips. "I get it. I'm worth it."

"Yes, you are."

JJ Maybank broke down that night. But JJ Maybank had all of the Pogues to help him get up.

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Regina George

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You technically don’t meet Regina, but she first talks to you one day after school while you’re walking to the bus stop.

- You see, you’re a part of the school yearbook; a photographer to be specific, and took photography class so you were fiddling with your camera while you were walking. You being a part of the yearbook was also initially the reason that she talked to you since Regina doesn’t give the time of day to people like you unless she wants something.

- So there you were, walking across the school yard when Regina fucking George called out to you.

- Now everybody knows who Regina is; which is why I said you didn’t technically meet, and Regina knows that they do, but she’s learned how to play people so she introduces herself. You shyly greet her back, wondering what she’s doing talking to you before she says “oh wow” and begins to ask about your camera.

- You don’t know enough about Regina at this point to realize that she’s playing you like a fiddle so you timidly talk to her for a while before your photography class comes up into conversation. She asks what you do in it and you mention the project you’ve just been assigned: having to pick one or a few subjects and photograph them for about half the year.

- She asks if you’ve chosen someone yet, you mention that you’ll probably choose one of your friends and she says an “oh” which has you hanging on to her next words.

“Well,” she says somewhat pointedly, “I was just thinking, I mean, you’ll have the rest of your life to photograph your friends, and I’m sure you do it all the time. So maybe you should pick a new subject?”

“If you wanted,” she says after you seem to be considering her words. “We’d be more than happy to help you out. You can come hang out with us and build up your portfolio.”

- You ask if she’s sure and she sweetly reassures you, writing down her number and telling you to think about it.

- Well bless your gay little heart, of course you say yes! You’re practically mesmerized by her! It’s just too bad that she only sees you as her own personal photographer ...at least at first.

- So you begin to hang out with the plastics, shocking everyone in your school whenever they actually give you the time of day. Though, of course, they have to give you a makeover and teach you the rules first.

- Everywhere you go, you bring your camera and snap some photos of them, oftentimes at their request. When you’re at school events working on the yearbook, Regina will call your name and you’ll obediently take some pictures of her/them wherever they are. Blinded by your growing crush on the mean girl, you don’t realize what’s happening, especially since she really seems to think of you as a friend.

- I mean, why would she tell guys with newfound interest in you to leave you alone or force you to hang out with her instead of your loser friends/boyfriend or call you up and tell you to sneak out and hang out with her.

- Truth be told, Regina George had taken an actually liking to you and perhaps it had started purely because of the attention you were getting from guys. Regina liked having what other couldnt and now that you were desired; and for other reasons, she wanted you.

- Things come to a head when Gretchen accidentally let slip exactly why Regina had made you their friend after the blonde upset her. The confession had come as a shock but at the same time, you felt dirty, like you’d known all along that it was too good to be true and this was just proving to you that it was.

- You were hurt, you were upset, you were ...angry. How dare she use you like that? Pretend to be your friend for some goddamn photos!

- You didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of blowing up on her, of letting her drop you from the group herself after you “overstepped your boundaries”, so, you ignored her. You didn’t answer her calls, avoided her at school, blatantly ignored her when she called after you. You gave her the silent treatment and it gave you a sick sense of victory.

- Regina hates being ignored and not having control of everything so you; someone she’s grown to have feelings for, just up and ignoring her like she was some common geek really pissed her off. God, you should have seen her after Gretchen admitted she’d told you; the blonde could have killed her.

- So now that the blonde knew what was wrong, she started working towards fixing the mess the “brunette bitch” had made. You obviously weren’t returning her calls nor letting her come near you at school, so she had to surprise you somewhere, somewhere you couldn’t get rid of her. The schools darkroom.

- No one was around there after school, well, no one besides you so when the blonde entered and shut the door behind her, tapping on your shoulder as music blared in your headphones, you nearly had a heart attack.

- Out of sheer shock and anger, you began to yell at her, hurling a few “what the hell is wrong with yous” and insults and explaining that you don’t want to see her. She remains blank faced before she tells you to shut up, successfully shocking you into silence.

- She told you that yes, initially she’d only talked to you for the photos but even then, she saw potential in you, she saw something she liked in you. She thought her interest in you was just some sort of jealousy thing but then she figured out that it was something more. When guys asked you out; well when they tried to, she felt the same way she felt when Aaron Samuels ignored her for some other girl.

- And then she asked if you would go out with her, well, she sort of demanded that you’d go out with her and for better or for worse, you said you would.

- For your first date, the two of you go to the mall together. You spend a few hours shopping around, getting coffees and talking like normal humans. It’s no surprise that you have a good time but you are surprised by how natural it feels to be with her.

- The two of you share your first kiss a few days later, after you’d gone to some party that she’d insisted you attend with her. Some guy had hit on you, causing her to subsequently pretend that she was tired of the place and wanted to go home. Once you were back in her car, she’d pulled you into a rough, obviously jealous kiss, leaving you grinning while she began to drive away.

- And thus, the queen of the plastics became your queen.

- Regina isn’t a huge fan of Pda unless she knows that someone in the vicinity has a crush on you. If there’s someone’s day she can ruin by doing it, then she’s all over you.

- You’ll usually keep your arm around her shoulder or have her arm around you.

- Blowing kisses.

- Just watch the lip gloss when she’s going to be in public, alright?

- Aggressive kisses and makeouts.

- She actually likes cuddling; particularly spooning, especially when she’s feeling upset. She’ll either hold you or let you hold her for hours, usually while watching television.

- You have your very own pair of fuzzy slippers for whenever you stay over at her house.

- Sunbathing on her balcony.

- Phonecalls before bed.

- Affectionate name calling and insults.

- Playful hitting and wrestling.

- Borrowing each other’s stuff: clothes, makeup, perfume, etc. She’ll occasionally buy you things just so she can steal them from you later.

- Small gifts.

- A surprising amount of compliments. You don’t expect Regina George to boost your self esteem up as much as she does but what can she say, she just loves everything about you.

- She likes hearing you rant, she finds it really amusing when you act all bitchy.

- Writing in the burn book, or at least being somewhat pressured into trying it; not purposefully. She just thinks that it’s cathartic so why wouldn’t you?

- Making fun of people together. She’s more mean spirited than you are but hey, you’re both being bitches, right?

- Expect her to make a few commands. She’s just used to having followers and puppy dogs for partners, don’t take it personally.

- Getting her to be nicer to her friends.

- Learning the rules of popularity.

- Getting matching jewelry.

- I’m sorry but you’re now her dress up doll and there’s no stopping it. She’ll do your makeup, buy your clothes, style your hair, whatever her little heart desires; and you’ll just have to let her.

- She actually sort of secretly likes punk/alternative music but you’re one of the few people that’s allowed to know. You bought her an Avril Lavigne cd this one time and she not so jokingly said that she’d go down on you for being so sweet.

- You’re dragged around a lot. You sort of just do whatever she wants, especially if you’re just hanging out rather than going on an actual date.

- Surrender the keys slut. Regina insists on driving no matter whose car you’re taking.

- Going shopping. She needs your advice before she can buy things.

- Holding her stuff for her. I’m sorry but your girlfriend acts like a princess.

- Getting coffees.

- Lunch dates.

- Going to parties together.

- Junk food binges.

- Having tons of photographs together. She has a good bunch of the more platonic looking ones; at least until she comes out, displayed around her room.

- Going to her sports games.

- Letting her rant to you before she has an aneurysm. You’ve certainly helped calm her down from some of her really bad tantrums.

- Hanging out with her little sister. Surprisingly enough, Regina actually really likes her and acts super cute when they’re together.

- She’s got a huge house and an aggressively supportive mom so if your parents are shitty, you’re always welcome to stay with them.

- Telling her how beautiful she is and trying to stop her from focusing on every little somewhat nonexistent flaw of hers.

- Reginas a very jealous girl. She hates seeing you with other people, particularly ones who she thinks are interested in you. She’ll ask what you’re doing talking to them and blatantly scare them away when she’s had enough.

- She’s definitely possessive of you; that’s just how she is.

- Don’t mess with mama bear. She’s sorta overprotective of you and gets offended in your honor. God forbid someone upsets you, or just accidentally bumps into you in the hallway, their life will be destroyed in a matter of minutes.

- The two of you probably fight a lot, sometimes merely bickering, other times having full on screaming matches. She’ll usually either act passive aggressive and pretend to not be bothered or be completely blunt and rude.

- You’ll usually give her the silent treatment and she’ll do the same to you, though she’ll snoop and secretly drive around to see what you’re doing without her. When she’s sick of not seeing you, she’ll give a reluctant apology and somehow always make you forgive her.

- Regina isn’t shy when it comes to saying she loves you, mainly because she usually says it playfully. Though, with that being said, she does always mean it when she says it.

- Perhaps the bus incident happens, perhaps it doesn’t. Nonetheless, the two of you are planning on sticking by each other’s sides; at least for a while.

[bqstqnbruin]

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind

We’re going to ignore all typos until I have time to fix them, and also ignore the fact that it’s four am and I have a 9 am class, but this was clearly more important.

Shout out to the anon who sent in the idea for the little blurb that I did that I ended up putting in here!

Prepare for the part all of y’all have been wanting! There’s some smut in this, so be warned that it’s not great leave me be. I still hope you like it!

Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

___________________________

“It doesn’t matter if other people think it’s true or not. What matters is that we know it’s true. I love you.”

“Fuck you.” 

--------------------

“So, is there a reason it looks like a vacuum attacked Matthew’s neck in his latest Insta post? Did those appear last weekend when I was gone?” Evelina comes barging into your room, phone in hand. “Damn, you actually picked that outfit out?” 

You look at yourself in the mirror, your hair and makeup finished, the dress you had on for the charity event that Matthew was supposed to pick you up for any minute now. The black, off the shoulder high-low dress fit you perfectly, accenting every feature of your body in just the right way. But still, you weren’t quite sure if it was right. “It looks ok?” you ask her, going to your closet to find a pair of shoes to wear. 

“If you didn’t fuck each other after destroying each others necks while I was gone, you’re going to tonight.” Wiping around, you can’t help but glare at her. You did not love Matthew. But then, why did you have to keep reminding yourself about that. “Hey, I have until you finish the list to keep this up, let me live.” 

You were about to fire something back at her when you hear Matthew’s voice call from the living room. “We’re in Y/N’s room!” Evelina answers for you.

“You really abuse that key,” you say, not taking your eyes away from your closet as you try to find shoes to wear. You weren’t ready to look at him just yet. “Ev, help me find the right shoes!” 

She gets up as you hear Matthew sitting on your bed, the creak of the frame sending a shiver down your spine. “What about these?” she asks, holding up a pair of heels.

You scrunch up your face, telling her to find another option. “How does he look?” you whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.

She smiles at you, handing you another pair of shoes, “I think you need to look for yourself.” 

You put on the shoes, refusing to turn around until the last minute. You almost didn’t want to see what he looked like, but you turn to him anyway. The second you look at each other, you both stop breathing. He gets up from your bed, slowly, making his way to you while Evelina was watching off to the side. He looked perfect. The suit was fitting him just the right way, the tie in your favorite color to match the necklace you were wearing, his hair in a flawless mess, the curls going everywhere yet looking pristine at the same time. 

He couldn’t find the words to say to you, taking your hands in his as he scanned your entire body. “W-wow,” he stammers out, swallowing hard as he tries to make any sound. “You look,” he starts, not knowing what word could accurately describe how incredible he found you, “Wow.” 

You look down at your hands, intertwining your fingers in his. Everything about holding his hands just felt right. You look up at him, his blue eyes sparkling even in the shitty lighting of your bedroom. “Wow yourself,” you tell him, unable to fight the smile on your face, or control your breathing for that matter. 

You stood there standing for what felt like forever, until you were interrupted by Evelina clearing her throat, a smirk on her face. “Don’t you two need to get going?”

“Uh, yeah,” you say, breaking away, embarrassed that she just saw that. If she thought you loved him before, that would confirm it now. But you didn’t love him. You didn’t even like him. You had a list of things you hated about him, even if there were only four things on it. 

“Are you going to be alright in those shoes tonight?” he asks, looking down at the heels Evelina had picked out for you. 

“It’s not like Ev here would let me wear these,” you say, holding up your black, beat up combat boots. You hear her fake gag behind you, throwing them in her direction and purposefully missing so that you don’t break anything of yours.

“Those would ruin the look,” Matthew says, both of you looking shocked that words like that would even come out of him. “Actually, Ev,” he says, changing the subject and finally tearing his eyes away from you, “Elias wanted me to ask you something, privately?” he lies.

You and Evelina exchange glances before you leave your room. Elias has Evelina’s number, why didn’t he just ask her?

“What’s up?” she asks, sitting down on your bed, Matthew sitting next to her. He lets out a low groan, putting his face in his hands. “Y/N looks flawless,” he says, pain in his voice. 

“So what are you going to do about it?” she asks, pulling him up. “You both love each other. I know you know that. This whole list thing is ridiculous. She looks great, you look great, act,” she instructs him.

“I have tired. I can’t even kiss her on the lips without some sort of interruption. I can’t control that!” he whines, trying not to get too loud incase you were within ear shot. He’s wanted to do more than just kiss you this entire time. He’s flat out told you that and you somehow still missed the message. “How is it she’s so smart, yet so oblivious?” 

Evelina shrugs, pulling him up off the bed, “People who are book smart never have common sense, bub. I’ve been telling her she loves you since you two met. She doesn’t even listen to me.”

“This is hopeless,” he says, practically throwing himself back on your bed. 

“Nope, get up,” Evelina says, pulling him back up. Matthew nearly stumbles over and onto the floor, not expecting her to be as strong as she was. “Look, she only has four things on the list,” she explains, “I told you the first night, if she really hated you, she would have more than that. You still have two and a half weeks.” 

He looks at her, biting his lip and nodding as the two of them go out to find you waiting on the couch. “Ready to go?” he asks, putting his hand out for you. 

You get up, Evelina’s eyes going wide and her mouth falling open. “Wait, you left something in my room, Y/N,” she says, dragging you there. She closes the door behind you, “You’re not wearing underwear!” she tries hard not to scream. 

“It would show under the dress!” you try to protest, heat rushing to your cheeks.

“I have worn a dress much tighter than that and you couldn’t see mine,” she provokes you, her eyes gleaming, knowing that she was right.

“I have to go,” you sing to her, trying to get past her. 

“Admit it!” she yells as you run towards Matthew, taking him by the hand and dragging him out the door. 

“Bye, love you!” “I hate you!” 

You practically run Matthew to his car, praying that Evelina wasn’t following the two of you. “Do you want to talk about what that was just then?”

“I borrowed one of her shirts and haven’t given it back because I got a stain on it and haven’t done laundry yet,” you spit out the lie. There was no way you would tell Matthew that you weren’t wearing anything underneath the dress. Not yet. “So, uh,” you start to change the subject, “What is this event again?”

“Something with the organization and the season ticket holders? It’s fancy and I was told to wear game day clothes, so, here we are.”

You look at him for a moment, your eyes tracing his jawline like when you went to the liquor store. “You clean up really nicely, Rat Man,” you say, “You look really good.” 

He smiles with the left side of his face so you can’t see it. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” he tells you, wishing he could figure out the proper words to say what he really thought. “Excited for tonight?”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to see the guys not drunk at a bar.”

“Right because seeing them drunk in a ballroom is better.” You both laugh, leaving the two of you in a comfortable silence as your phone buzzes with texts from Evelina.

‘This means you love him!’

‘No it does not. Who says I have to wear underwear under a dress?’

‘You never go without underwear. Admit you love him.’

‘I don’t love him.’

‘Do you like him?’ 

You take a minute to think, looking up from your phone to see Matthew watching the road. Like and love are two different things. You liked Elias, but did you like him in the same way you liked Matthew? Did you like anyone in the way you liked Matthew? ‘Sure.’ You roll your eyes as you hit send when Matthew finally puts the car in park. You didn’t even realize you were at the venue. Matthew gets out of the car, practically running to the passenger side to open the door and help you out. With your arm linked with his, you head inside, “Who would have thought you could be such a gentleman?” you tease. 

“Only for you, babe,” he says, sending a wink your way before dropping your arm to greet some of his teammates. “I’m going to get us some drinks?” he says, leaving you before asking you what you wanted. 

You wander around, finding Elias and making conversation with him while you wait for Matthew to come back. You had wanted a vodka sour, but would he come back with that?

“You look amazing, Y/N,” Elias starts, a smile on his face not unlike the one Matthew normally gives you. 

You feel yourself blushing at his comments, unable to hide the heat that was showing in your cheeks, “You look pretty great, too.” 

“Maybe at some point tonight, you’ll save a dance for me?” he asks, moving closer to you. This was the teammate that you’ve had a slight crush on since you met Matthew, so why didn’t you feel the same way with him as you did with Matthew? His hand reaches for your waist, but you move away from him, giving him an innocent smile before turning to see Matthew standing behind you with a drink in each hand.

He tried to hide the pain he felt watching Elias flirt with you. He knew you liked his teammate, and it was clear that Elias was seeing something in you that he hadn’t seen before. But you smile at Matthew, one very different from the one you had given his teammate. A real, genuine smile that reached your eyes. Matthew knew you felt the same way about him as he did about you from that, he just didn’t know if you knew. “Vodka sour for my girl,” he says, handing you the drink you had wanted.

You feel your knees buckle ever so slightly at the sound of hearing Matthew call him your girl, taking your free hand in his, intertwining your fingers. You immediately felt a warmth rushing through you as he gave you a soft smile, taking a sip of drink before starting a conversation with Elias. You start to look around at everyone surrounding you. The dance floor was crowded, you itching to get out there with Matthew. You both finish your drinks, probably too fast, but who cared? “Hey, can we go dance?” you ask Matthew before turning to Elias, “I don’t think you’ll be able to pry my from my guy tonight, Lindy, but if he lets you, I guess you can try.”

You drag him out to the dancefloor, your hands never losing connection as he looks back and smirks at Elias. The look on his face tells Matthew that this was intentional, whatever plan he had concocted working as a slow song came on. Matthew used his free hand to pull you in by the waist, your other hand on his shoulder as you swayed to the rhythm of the music. 

Your mind starts running free as you think about dance, Matthew chuckling before letting out, “You know something about the history of dance, don’t you?”

“How would you know I know that?” you ask him, shocked that he read your mind for a second time tonight.

He shrugs, spinning you away from him before bringing you close, his front pressed against you back as he whispered, “It just sounds like something you would know.” He spins you back around so you’re facing each other, him beaming down at you. “Go ahead,” he teases you.

“It’s specific towards Canada, is that ok with you?”

He leans down, his curls tickling your face, “Anything you say to me is fine.” 

“The first written record of dance in Canada,” you start, “was by Jacques Cartier in the 1530s. He described a group of Indigenous people dancing in modern day Quebec, but it’s obviously likely that this was going on way before he encountered them.” Matthew pulls you in closer, still moving with the music as you rest your head on his shoulder. He plants a soft, long kiss on your head as you continue. “Because of the idea 'assimilate or exterminate,’ where these Indigenous people had to either change their culture to fit that of the European settlers, or risk their culture being destroyed in its entirety, their practices of dance declined until the late 1990s when groups began investing more time into preserving these sacred dances as part of Aboriginal and Canadian culture.”

You lift your head off his shoulder as he starts kissing your neck, everyone around you disappearing as you felt his lips connect with your bare skin. “Europeans settlers brought their own forms of dance to the country, eventually infusing together to create new forms. Famous dancers like Martha Graham, Anna Pavlova and Ruth St. Denis started touring the United States and Canada, leaving their own imprint on the culture.” 

He lifts his head, his forehead against yours. You could feel him grow hard the more you talked, his dick pressed against you as you stifled a moan. “Modern dance got its start in Canada nearly a decade before ballet,” you say, Matthew kissing your forehead before connecting his back to yours, “In the 1940s, Montreal became the central hub for modern dance, and stayed that way for a while. Ballet came about in a professional manner, companies developing their own identities before performing and going onto the world stage.”

The song changes and you stop moving. Staring at each other, you finish, “All of it comes together into the dance we know today.”

“Y/N,” Matthew starts, obviously staring at your lips. He wanted to kiss you. He didn’t care that his entire team was around him; he didn’t notice anyone there but you. 

You don’t know what to say to him. You take your hands off his shoulders, cupping his face. His grip tightens around your waist, a confused look of his face. 

‘Fuck it,’ you think to yourself, just like you did the other day. Your lips connect with his, everything around you melting away as you moved in sync with each other. His tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging to enter your mouth, you gladly letting him. You can feel him smiling as his hands move up your back, your hands falling down to his chest. You pull away, both of you breathing slightly unevenly. Why did you just do that? You weren’t upset that you did, but why did you just do that?

“Wow,” he whispers to you, kissing you softly again. 

“Wow is right,” you let out. 

“Hey, uh, Matty?” you hear Elias’ voice behind you. You pull away from each other, both of you slightly embarrassed that he, along with everyone else, probably just saw that. “We’re trying to do a team photo,” he says, looking like he was trying to stifle a laugh or something. 

Matthew swallows, nodding and dropping his hands from your body. “I’ll find you later,” he reassures you before leaving. 

You try to catch your breath as you run to find your phone. ‘SOS’ you text Evelina, praying that she was looking at her phone and not already asleep.

‘What?’

Your fingers hover over the screen of your phone. Do you tell her what just happened? You tell her everything, so why would you leave this out? 

‘I have another thing to add to the list’

‘This list needs to be electronic so I don’t have to get out of bed every time you think of something new’

‘Do you want to know or not’

‘Duh’

‘The way he reads my mind’

‘That’s dumb, but fine. Are you at least having fun?’

‘Yeah.’ You put your phone away before you can say anything else to her. If she found out you kissed each other - no, if she found out you kiss him, she would have a field day. You would never hear the end of it, list or not. All you had to do was rejoin the event and hope you could find Matthew.

Staying off the side, watching the event unfold, you couldn’t find him anywhere. There was something fun about seeing all the guys and their wives and girlfriends dressed up like they were, whatever photo they were doing clearly taken. The season ticket holders and management looked good, even though you had no idea who any of them were. 

“Hey,” you hear a man’s voice say to you, taking you out of the trance as you fixated on Johnny and Meridith, admiring the way they looked at each other while they were dancing. If they were back out on the dance floor, Matthew had to be following suit soon, right? “I’m Reggie.” He sticks out his hand, you smiling at him to shake it as you introduce yourself. “So, are you here with someone, or are you a ticket holder?”

“I’m here with one of the guys,” you say, trying to see if you can find him anywhere. Something about this guy wasn’t quite right, and you really prayed for an out from talking with him. 

“Really? Which one?”

“Me,” you hear Matthew’s voice say, his arms wrapping around you as you feel your shoulders relax. “Thanks for keeping my girl company.” Reggie just nods and smiles, walking away and leaving the two of you in the position you were in. Matthew holds you tighter, your hands reaching up to touch his. “You are the most beautiful girl here,” he whispers.

“You’re just saying that,” you tell him, feeling his breath on your neck as he lets out a sigh. “What if I said you were the most handsome guy here?” 

He freezes, swallowing hard and thankful that he was behind you so you couldn’t see the grin covering his face. Calling you his girl was something he said just to get the guy away, but after that comment, after that kiss, there was nothing more he wanted than to call you that and mean it. “What if we get out of here?” he whispers, kissing you between your shoulder blades. 

A chill runs down your shine as he kisses along your back, moving your hair to your shoulder as you can’t help but let out a low moan, “Matthew.” 

He moves his way up your neck, ending at your ear, “Come on. Do you want to go somewhere more private?” he whispers before his teeth connect with your earlobe. You didn’t expect that to do what it did to you. 

When he pulls away, you turn to him, mirroring the smile on his face. “Where did you have in mind?”

“Is it too early to leave?” you ask him, running your hands down his chest. 

“I’m ready if you are, babe,” he says, kissing you softly on your lips yet again. God, he hoped this was the start of something. Knowing what this was like, he could only imagine what more would be. 

He takes your hand, leading you back out to his car. You look back over your shoulder before leaving the building, out of sheer curiosity as to whether or not anyone saw you. You make eye contact with Elias, who winks, raising his glass in the air to you as the two of you disappear through the door. “Your place or mine?” he asks as the two of you practically sprinted to his car. Given what you were both sure was about to happen, he answers his own question, “Mine, got it.” 

You couldn’t concentrate the entire way to his place, thinking about what this was going to be like. You both wanted it and didn’t. You didn’t love him. You couldn’t love him. Evelina was in no way right about you being in love with each other. You just were both horny, right? That’s all it was?

Matthews hands don’t leave your body once you get out of the car. Whatever cameras were around the lobby of his building, the elevator, the hallway leading to his door caught everything. He was kissing you passionately, as if doing this was something that he had been waiting for. His hands gripped your butt, so tight that you had to hold back a scream of pleasure as he sucked away at your neck, something he seemed to like doing more than you expected. 

You were surprised your clothes were even still on by the time you get to his door. You could only imagine how red and bruised your neck was, the handprints that had to be left on your ass from him, your mind going blank as you were sure you would regret anything. 

You practically rip off his suit jacket, both of you impatient to get everything off each other. “Are you sure you’re ok with this?” he stops, his hands on the zipper of your dress as you bounced up and down, dripping with anticipation.

“All you have to do is take off the dress,” you tell him, his eyes going wide.

He swallows hard, “N-nothing underneath?” he asks you. That would mean that you were expecting something to happen tonight, right? Or did it mean nothing? He really hoped it meant the first thing. 

“Yes, take it off, come on,” you whine. 

He does as you ask, his lips connecting with yours, simultaneously taking off your dress and leaving it in the hallway while you unbutton his shirt and leave it there with it. You were down to nothing as he threw you on the bed, him rushing to take his pants off to climb on top of you. You spread your legs for him as he climbs on top off you, kissing you from your hip bone up to your mouth. “You’re really sure?” he asks you, in a quiet voice.

You nod, taking his face in your hands, “I’m sure,” you say before he kisses you again. You give him all the access he wants, the tip of his dick rubbing against your already wet opening, teasing you as you whined for him, “Fuck me, Matty.”

“I will, baby,” he says, pushing his hips against yours as he enters inside you. 

You spend the night, both of you kissing, whining, moaning, begging for each other, everything you had ever imagined with any other guy, you were doing with Matthew. You didn’t want it to be anyone else.

You were so busy, so hungry for everything Matthew had to offer, you didn’t know your phone was buzzing, texts from Evelina flooding your phone.

‘Where are you????’

‘You were supposed to be home by now.’

‘Why isn’t your phone location updating? Elias said you guys left hours ago.’

‘Please tell me you’re ok.’

[cyarikashakira]

Chimichangas

A/N: This is my first time writing a fanfic. I am super nervous but I have an overabundance of love for Joaquin Torres so I had to put it somewhere. I'm doing @caplanbuckybarnes's summer writing challenge.

Summary: Falling in love at the supermarket wasn’t on your to-do list today, yet here you were snatching looks at a cute stranger.

Warnings: (I don't know if these count as warnings) GN!Reader, No Y/N, Joaquin Torres is an absolute cutie pie!

‘They were gone. All of them.’ I thought as I rummaged through the wrongfully stocked freezer. A sniffle escaped, then two, which was followed by a full on wail.

“Who the hell put the Steak and Cheese chimichangas where the Chicken and Cheese chimichangas goes!?”

I slammed the freezer door and rested my head on it and placed my hand on the cold glass.

Casual shoppers and workers tiptoed around me while I grumbled to myself in annoyance. I just wanted my comfort food.

A full on breakdown in the middle of a grocery store and I gave no fucks. A tap on my shoulder and I whirled around ready to light up the poor soul who decided to bother me.

“What do you want?” I wiped the tears from my face with a growl. Giant innocent eyes looked at me in shock as I grimaced at him.

“Hi - um, can I help you?” He bravely pointed at his name tag which said ‘Joaquin’ with the Walmart name above

“Sure~ can you just point me towards the person who decided to sleep on the job and stock the wrong chimichangas in the wrong spot? I just wanna have a little chat.” I said with a fake smile on my face.

“Th-that would be me.” He gulped and pointed over his shoulder towards the stocking material behind him.

You peeked around him and just glared.

“So it was you. You have been declared as my arch nemesis. Where are the chicken and cheese chimichangas?”

“They are out of stock. But we can call you when they are back in stock.”

The air suddenly became tense.

“...Believe it or not, they already have my number because I buy them so often. It is Tuesday and it’s 8:30. They are always stocked at 8pm on Tuesday.” I looked down at my watch to double check the time. I crossed my arms ready to take my frustrations out on the worker.

“We are going to have to call some people.” He said plainly.

“What?” My head tilted to the side in confusion.

“For this chimichanga shortage. We need to call some people.” His smile got bigger as he continued talking.

“Chimi..changa shortage? If they are going to fix my day then you better call them.”

“I’m kidding..”

“Oh.” I let out a nervous laugh and made a face.

He ran a hand through his fluffy black curls and huffed. I took a look at his face, he was nervous.

“...Are you new?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“To the stock things department, yes. This grocery store, no. I’m so sorry that I stocked it wrong but thank you for pointing it out for me.”

I immediately felt bad because I realized that I was being a dick over some food.

“I’m so sorry. I’m just having a bad day. It was just a complete shit show. My cat got sick, my car is on it’s last leg and my boss is on my ass and I ran out of chimichangas and forgot to restock my fridge so here I am today - “

I rambled on and on.

“Hey, it’s okay. We all have bad days. I thought this was about to be a bad day for me also because you were upset at me.”

“I’m sorry again. I’ll live without them. I should go home before I embarrass myself even more.”

I lowered my head now feeling shy and more aware of my surroundings.

“Before you go, I think I have something that will make your day a little better. Follow me.” He turned swiftly and started walking away.

“Uh, no. I’ve burdened you enough today, sir.”

He stopped and turned to face me again. A smile formed on his face. Were those dimples always there?

“Come on. I’m just taking you to a person who can solve your problems.”

“Oh o-okay.”

I followed behind Joaquin towards the front of the grocery store. He stopped in front of the deli section and tapped a hand on the counter to alert the workers.

“Hey~ is Margie in today?” He said sweetly to the teenage girl who could barely see over the huge counter.

“Yeah Curly, she’s in the back. Let me go get her.” She ran to the back and pushed the double doors with force.

I looked at Joaquin with furrowed brows and pursed lips.

“Why do they call you Curly?” A small smirk appeared on my face. He blushed and his hand went to his hair once again.

“My hair. It is how everyone finds me and the fact that I’m tall. Everyone has a nickname here. We are as much a family as capitalism will allow us to be. Margie is just...wait until you see her.”

The shock of blue hair caught my peripheral and I expected to see a teenager. No. A tall lady who was on enough to be my mama strolled up to the counter with a huge smile on her face.

“What can I do for ya, Curly Quin?” Her accent drawled as she leaned against the display case.

“We have a situation. Apparently, I suck at my job and a certain someone had an entire meltdown in the middle of the freezer aisle because they are having a bad day like it was my fault. I’m pretty sure they want to get me fired but I’m too cute for that, right? So we need a solution to their chimichanga problem.” He sarcastically and over exaggeratedly explained the situation to Margie and his smile got wider as he went on.

“So Grilled Cheese over here wants a chimichanga? How is that my problem?” Margie planted her eyes on me and I felt like I swallowed my heart.

For an old lady, her look was intense.

“I need the goods. The family secret, the whole enchilada, you get where I’m going with this. I’ll finally bring you back your book that you let me borrow when I first started working here.” Joaquin slapped on the puppy dog eyes and Margie rolled hers.

“I’ll believe it when I see it. That was a year ago. I’m never getting that book back and you know it. I’ll be back for you and Meltdown over here, assuming that is you.” She gave a small smile and moved to go towards the back doors. “Give me a sec.”

As soon as she disappeared, I face palmed and groaned.

“You guys are going to make fun of me forever, aren’t you?” I looked at him in despair.

“Oh yeah, you know it. Welcome to making history.” He smiled towards me, flashing a dimple.

“Is there a way that I can make everyone forget about this? I will pay you guys off. I promise. Just forget everything that happened here today.” I waved my hands in circular motions like I was casting a spell, earning odd looks from everyone around.

He laughed for the first time that night.

“It’s not every day a grown up has a total fit like a toddler. This has made my day and probably my whole week.”

I groaned again and stomped my foot in annoyance, ready to snap at him.

The back doors flew open and a brown paper bag was thrown in my direction. Joaquin and I fumbled to catch it at the same time and we butted heads.

“Good thing you knocked some sense into each other so I didn’t have to. Get out of here kids, your chimichanga problem is solved.” Margie smiled.

I opened the steaming paper bag and started crying.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” I started bouncing up and down with joy. I wrapped my arms around Joaquin and pulled him into a tight hug, crying on his shirt.

“No problem, I can’t breathe, please..let..go..” He said dramatically.

I immediately let go and cleaned my face putting on a huge smile. He took a deep breath and put his hand on his chest.

“You guys are the best and I am so sorry for taking my frustrations out on you. I really hope you can forgive me at some point.”

“Already forgiven. I just always want to do something positive with my day and make others smile. It’s all in a day’s work.”

“I don’t know how to thank you guys enough for the chimichangas.” I held the bag close to my heart, grinning widely.

“Go home and eat them. That’s thanks enough.” Margie deadpanned.

Oh. She was still there.

“Yes ma’am. Have a good night. Thank you for everything!” I waved goodbye to her.

“Don’t mention it kid.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Margie!” He said to her.

She waved us off and we were on our way to the front doors of the store. We stopped just before the entrance, triggering the doors to automatically open. We were blocking the exit and people started going around us.

“I guess this is goodbye? Until I come in to restock my freezer again.” I said glumly, holding out my hand towards him to shake his hand.

“I guess so.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, placing it in my hand.

Question marks filled my brain as I looked down at his phone in my hand. He shyly placed his hand on the back of his neck.

“I told you whenever we restocked, I would give you a call so.. I would need your number for that.”

“Oh. But they already have my numb- Oh. Okay. Oh. Oh um, of course uh..”

I stuck my tongue out in concentration as I typed my name and number into his phone and handed it back to him.

“There you go. I uh, look forward to your call for whenever the chimichangas are back in stock.”

“Of course. I’m just doing my job. If they aren’t in stock and I’m off of work, can I still call you?”

My brain short circuited and I blinked rapidly at him. He was smooth. Toooo smooth. I studied his face for a joke.

“You aren’t joking with me, are you?” I put my hands on my hips.

“Nope, not one bit. Are you okay?” He questioned. I was sure smoke was coming out of my ears at this point.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired, it’s been a long day. I should get going.” I looked off towards the cars in the parking lot.

“It was nice to meet you. I’m sorry about your chimichangas and for my poor stocking skills.” He apologized sincerely.

“It was nice to meet you too, Joaquin. Thank you for everything. Am I allowed to hug you again?”

His brown eyes lit up and he furiously nodded. I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same to me. We let go as quickly as we started.

“I’ll see you around, Grilled Cheese.” He gave a two finger wave towards me and started walking backwards.

“Likewise, Joaquin Phoenix.” I started walking in the other direction.

“Haha. So original! It’s actually Falcon!” He shouted.

“What?” I stopped and turned back towards him but he was already gone.

I shrugged and walked towards my car. I opened the door and climbed inside, tossed the bag of chimichangas in the passenger seat and rested my head on the steering wheel. I released a huge sigh while lifting my head, started my car and began driving home. The street lights blurred past me on my drive home. My body was on autopilot as I opened the door, kicked my shoes off and sat on the couch next to my roommate with my bag of chimichangas.

I took a bite and immediately frowned.

‘Damn it. Steak and Cheese strikes again.’ I started laughing and shaking my head, dropping the chimichanga back in the bag.

“What is your problem?” My roommate said staring at the tv, not concerned to turn their head towards my hysterics.

“Nothing. I just had a meltdown in a freezer aisle and I think I fell in love with a stocker who is bad at his job.” I leaned back against the cushion of the couch and sighed dreamily.

“....no offense but you aren’t allowed to go to the store unsupervised ever again. You got issues...”

My phone began to ring and I just stared at the unknown number before answering.

“H-hello?” I stuttered.

“You will never guess what we just got in stock.” A light voice filled with laughter said over the phone. A huge smile formed on my face and I was booking it out of the door and yelled a quick bye to my roommate.

“I’m on my way.”

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I tried my best :)

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.20 "Into the Frying Pan"

CW: airplane setting, hospital setting, police mention, drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, nightmare/ptsd mention, tics/tourettes, injury description, discussion of noncon/dubcon, nsfw themes, conditioned whumpee trying to initiate sex with caretaker, dehumanizing language/discussion, discussion of past abuse, food mention, discussion of wearing a collar, derogatory language, strangling mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

It was all at once insanely overwhelming and yet incredibly simple for Elias to be away from August, to be on his own. He was allowed to just sit peacefully on his own, no one's hands were on him, there was no tight collar to make him feel suffocated. The flight attendants would occasionally sit with him and ask him how he was doing, if he needed anything, and he was thankful to be otherwise left alone. The lack of constant stress allowed him to lull himself off into a fitful, drunken sleep, where the dreams were horrendous but not stronger than his fatigue. At some point, one of the nice flight attendants keeping an eye on him draped her jacket over him, smiling at him when he woke up to look at her.

"You looked cold," she excused herself. "We'll be landing in about an hour and a half."

"Thank you so much." He grumbled back, tightening the jacket around him to get warmer, then he promptly fell back asleep.

The hospital visit was long and tedious, and by the end apparently also pointless, because they simply couldn't do anything for him. His injuries were plenty, and they had all been severe in the beginning, but by now they were all healed just enough for the doctors to slap some antibiotics and pain relievers on him and call it a day. The meds they gave him seemed diluted by the leftover drugs in his blood, so even that didn't matter.

He wasn't allowed to go straight home after that, like he'd been hoping, instead he was taken to the police station to talk about August. By then he wanted nothing more than to just be back with No Name, and the longer he wasn't the worse he felt.

"Is there anything we can get you while we wait?" People kept asking him, ever since he'd gotten on the plane. It was incredibly unnerving, didn't they know he was just an idiot pet, that he didn't get wants? He guessed maybe not having a collar on wasn't helping his case.

Right now the person asking him was a large police officer, waiting with him outside. Elias felt his stare fixated on him, probably on the tears stained on his face, or the tired, far off look in his eyes.

"Would you be able to get me a cigarette? Please?" The request came out slightly mangled and watery, he was surprised to hear himself asking for it. He was never allowed to ask for anything, he half expected to be slapped across the head for it. Instead, the officer reached out at a safe distance with one in hand. "Oh. Th...thank you so much."

As he lit up, the chill breeze ran through his hair, making him feel gradually more sober. He looked up at the palm trees swaying slightly, the realization that he was home really started to sink in. It was all gonna be ok because he was home. After talking about August and all of the atrocities he'd put him through with the police for a few hours, he felt like he had relived it all. And now it could be done, he just had to wait for No Name.

"Is that him there?" The officer piped up suddenly, making Elias flinch. He looked up to see him approaching, his shoulders high with tension.

Elias dropped his cigarette to the ground with a gasp, his hands flying to cover his eyes in pure shock. He was there! He came! Elias could've fallen over in ecstasy.

"Elias, my darling," he was saying as he got closer, his voice on the very edge of breaking, "Elias I'm here. I'm here."

One inch at a time, Elias dropped his fingers, peering up at him with tears in his eyes. How could he possibly have any more tears left? Now that he was looking at him, he was overwhelmed with relief, absolutely flooded with the promise of safety. No Name's hair was so much longer than Elias remembered, put up in messy dreads, and his face was glowing healthily. Was there...genuine, actual love in his eyes? Elias hadn't seen that in August's face for so long, his stare was often only predatory and arrogant, despite how often he threw around the word, he didn't ever look like he felt love for Elias. He couldn't fight the tears anymore, he dropped his hands to the side in complete surrender and choked back a few pathetic whines.

"Hey, hey, it's ok," he assured him, timidly stepping toward him, "you're alright."

"I c-cant...I'm so happy t-to see you." He sobbed, biting his lip to try not to get too loud. "I'm s-so relieved."

With a small, pleased hum, he grabbed Elias's arm gently, testing how much touch he would allow. "Come here, Eli."

The nickname sounded heavenly back in his mouth, and hearing the way his voice glazed over it with no remorse or second guess made Elias positively break, stumbling the step forward into his welcoming arms.

Cologne and lemons and weed. That's what he smelled like. That's what Tyson smelled like. "Oh god. Tyson. Fucking hell, Tyson."

"I've got you Elias," Tyson whispered, voice watery with his own tears, "I'm here, darling."

Elias couldn't contain himself after that, he was ticcing melodically in Tyson's arms, his name slipping out every few seconds, his hands tightening and loosening around his shirt. "You're here, Tyson. I'm so...oh Tyson..."

Slowly, Tyson led him to his car, without fully letting go of him. Only when he opened the door for him did he pull away, watching him duck in with red, swollen eyes.

"You look so different," Elias mumbled, picking at a loose thread on his borrowed pants, "I feel like it's been years."

Tyson sighed heavily, reaching over to take his hand. "Nearly 10 months."

Elias closed his eyes, a breathless whine squeezing past his lips. Ten months?! He couldn't believe that it had really been that long since they'd seen each other, and yet at the same time it felt more like years. It made him feel sick, thinking about it in that way. Ten whole months of torture, of wondering when August would snap again, terrified he would get killed if he said something deemed unpleasant. "That's...that's a really long time."

Tyson gave a somber nod, then glanced over and saw how sad it had also made Elias, and he squeezed his leg softly and forced the subject to change. "God, I've missed your voice so very badly. I'm so happy to hear you talking."

Elias couldn't take his eyes off of Tyson, and he found himself desperately holding his wrist with both hands to make sure he didn't pull away. "I forgot your name." He blurted. "I'm so sorry."

"My name?" Tyson chuckled, throwing him a questioning glance.

"When I was out there I...all I could remember was your voice and your face. I-I forgot your n-name and I feel like shit a-about it. I'm so - fucking shit - I'm so sorry."

Tyson's jaw flexed a few times, and Elias thought maybe he'd pissed him off. You're off with August for not even a year and you forget about me? You stupid slut, I can't believe I ever thought I could love you-

"Elias, you've been stuck in an absolute nightmare for the longest time. I cannot even begin to imagine..." He trailed off, shaking his head to himself. "Things are gonna be ok. You're here and you remember my name now. That's all that matters."

A shuddery breath shook Elias's frame as he tried to calm himself, and he slowly reached up to loop his fingers around his throat. When his fingers fell onto bare skin, a jolt of panic shocked through him. He didn't realize how used to the collar he'd gotten, but now that it was gone he felt stripped, naked in the worst way. He kept his hand there, cold fingers pressed to his own pulse, the entire ride back to the apartment.

It looked about the same as he remembered, which didn't mean much because every memory was sort of hazy and muddled through the drugs and injury caused brain damage. He stood in the center of the living room while Tyson set his things down in the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything Elias?" Tyson asked when he came back in. He had a glass of water in his hands, and Elias cringed hard as he took it from him.

"People keep asking me that," he mumbled, "I'm not...not allowed..."

Tyson frowned at him, tilting his head to the side. He gave Elias a second to answer on his own, but he'd already decided to stop talking. "Not allowed what, Eli?"

"Not allowed to want things. I wish people would stop...stop asking what I want. I can't want anything."

The face Tyson made at that was like he smelt something foul, his nose wrinkling as he thought about what he'd been told. He had guessed that Elias would be damaged when he got back, but it had been so long he couldn't even fathom what broken pieces he'd have to work with.

"Ok. Finish your water and we'll get you in the shower. How's that?" He kept his voice gentle in the suggestion, relieved when some of the tension dropped from Elias's shoulders with a nod.

"Thank you."

"Let me know if you're ready to talk about anything, yeah?" As he asked, he inched his way forward, looking him over carefully. He could see the faint outline of sharp bruises around his neck, a large scar barely healed on his bottom lip, and on top of it all large purple and blue blotches scattered his pale skin. "Elias...I'm so sorry I didn't do more to stop him."

Now it was Elias's turn to flinch at the distasteful words, shaking his head quickly. "It was my choice, please don't be-"

"No, my love," Tyson protested, softly caressing his arm, "no, I should have done more. You got hurt, I should have done more to help you. I am so incredibly sorry."

Elias was tearful at the words, leaning into his touch eagerly. "Tyson I... I missed you so bad. I felt so empty without you." His lungs tightened as Tyson got closer, his hands staying so gentle against his arms that it was jarring. Elias had to remind himself that he wasn't going to hurt him, this was Tyson, Tyson wouldn't do anything to harm him, but he couldn't help the uncomfortable anxious burning in his chest when he got so close.

"I love you, Eli." He whispered.

The look on his face alone was enough to send Elias reeling, the genuine, evident adoration made his head spin. The last time someone was telling him they loved him, the only emotion he saw on his face was some sort of sick obsession, a look that told him the "love" was only surface level. He began to openly cry, barely able to bite back his sobs.

"Y-you...you do?" He whined, suddenly not able to look at him head on. The emotions were so strong and heavy that he felt weighed down. Again, he wondered how his body was still producing tears. It was probably why Tyson had given him the water. "Really?"

"Yes, really." With that, Tyson kissed the bridge of his nose ever so gently, even when he flinched a little and closed his eyes. "Now let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

"Please."

Being nude wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had been before, being forced to put himself on display for prying eyes and watering mouths ready to grab and pet and squeeze made him shamefully accustomed to not wearing clothes. Even though Tyson could easily overpower him and do any of that to him, he only touched him when he was sure it would be alright, only looked at him when he spoke. He was a little uneasy because he couldn't tell what Tyson was thinking, if he was disgusted or put off and that's why he wasn't touching him. Or maybe he'd done something wrong and Tyson was punishing him. Or he just wasn't pretty enough. He could make himself pretty, he was getting good at that, at carrying himself the way people liked him: as an object.

He did this as he was helped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was relieved when he felt Tyson's stare fixated on him, and he forced himself to look up at him through half-hooded lids. "Thank you, Ty," he murmured, in that way that August always loved, the way that made him go soft for a split second and then hold him closely and gently. When Tyson didn't do that, he took a shaky breath and closed the space between them, grabbing his bicep to get closer.

"Do you feel better?" He grumbled. Elias's eyes fluttered closed when Tyson reached out to run his thumb along his cheek.

"I do. Thank you so much." When he was met with silence, he turned his head slightly, pressing his lips against Tyson's wrist. His whole demeanor was screaming "touch me, please touch me" but Tyson didn't move, keeping his hand against his jaw, watching, waiting. Elias could scream.  He was too used up, that's what it was. August would hardly touch him anymore either, for the same reason: because he was a used up toy, no fun anymore. And Tyson felt the same way. It killed him to know that he wouldn't ever experience the bliss of Tyson's adoring hands on him, his warm mouth murmuring sweet nothings against his skin, his name falling from his lips, ever again.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Tyson asked him, shifting a little to stroke his hair, humming when Elias pressed into his touch desperately.

"I'm so...I'm afraid that I'm useless now." He admitted. "I know that you won't use me and...and if I'm not being used I...i just want to be important. Useful."

Tyson let out a soft, seemingly disappointed sigh, one that made Elias cringe. "Is that what it was like with August?"

He nodded slowly, not even making an effort to look up at him, too afraid he would see anger or betrayal or even nothing. That's what he was really afraid of, seeing no emotion there, the same blank stare August often gave him, toward the end. "I was just a toy, and August used me for a little while but then other people...they just started taking me too, because I was made t-to be used. But I guess I messed up cause August started hiding me and no one was allowed to touch me or speak to me and I don't want that to happen again, Ty, I want to be useful and good-"

"Eli, take a breath angel," he cooed, stepping closer to him, "I'm not them. You're a human being, and I care about you a great deal, I'm not going to use you."

Don't cry, Elias thought to himself, save your tears for when you really need them. Don't fucking cry. You look so ugly when you cry. He noticed that the voice saying it wasn't his own, rather August's low grumble. He wondered if it would always be there, saying awful things in the back of his mind. Tyson pulled his hand away, leaving Elias to sink into a frigid, freezing loneliness, the feeling of being in the basement was now inside of his chest. He brought his own fingers to his throat, wrapping his hands around his slender, bruised neck to ground himself. He hated himself for admitting it, but he knew deep down he'd look so much nicer with the collar, and maybe Tyson would use him then. Or he'd at least look at him the way he was meant to be looked at, with an intrigue and a thirst that barely overshadowed the guilt of it all. He knew the look well, he saw it every time he got up the courage to look up at the people using him. The dark eyes, the shameful pink tint to cheeks. Tyson would look at him like that, if only he was wearing his collar.

"Don't do this to me," he mumbled, voice breaking just a little, "you don't know how bad I n-need...i just need you-" he cut himself off with a swallow, shaking his head. He wasn't allowed needs or wants, what was he saying? Tyson could use him or ignore him however he saw fit, why did he think he had any say in the matter? "I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry, love. Talk to me, tell me what you need."

"Nothing," he rushed, smiling through his tears, "I don't need anything. I'm perfect."

Tyson looked on the verge of arguing, ready to pry until he got something out of him, something worthy of a reaction. He knew, though, that Elias had shut himself up again, nervous to even be standing under his gaze. So he stepped away, nodding at him slowly. "Let's get you dressed, then."

Elias was thankful for the luxury of Tyson dressing him, after the whole day spent being treated far too well, too much like a person for his comfort. It was easy to slip back into the practiced doe-eyed, mindless little toy mindset as Tyson pulled his arms through his shirt, holding him steady as he slipped pants on. When Tyson stepped back to look at him, he had a fond grin on his face.

"You're so cute," he cooed, ruffling his hair playfully as he stepped away, "I missed you so much."

Elias blushed, bowing his head as a thank you. He felt cold under his stare, cooled down too quickly from the shower. He couldn't help the tremor that shook him slightly, and the second Tyson noticed, he reached out to grab his shoulders gently, pulling him against his chest. The warmth of being close to him made him weak at the knees, and Tyson tightened his grip as he keened against him. "Oh, Tyson," he whispered, "ah, you're so warm."

"Mm. I could hold you forever. You fit so perfectly in my arms." He gave him a light squeeze, listening to his breathing hitch gently.

"Tyson," he whined, trembling fingers twisting into his shirt, "ple-please touch me. I need you to touch me."

"You need it?" He repeated.

"Y-yes, Ty. I need it so bad it aches. Please." His voice was desperate, slightly fear tinted by hearing his own request. I can't have needs, he reminded himself, but this, oh this is the blood in my veins. This is the oxygen in my lungs. I will die if I can't have this. "Oh god, Tyson, please."

At that, Tyson's lips fell against his throat, causing him to tilt his head back with a small gasp. His skin was hot from Tyson's breath and it was constricting in the same comfortable way his collar was. "I love you, Elias."

Even though it was just a hushed whisper against his skin, Elias swooned, body light and airy at the words, Tyson's hands the only thing keeping him tethered to earth. "Ah...thank you.."

Tyson pulled off to look at him, a small grin on his face as he looked him over. The second he was off of him, Elias replaced Tyson's mouth on his neck with his fingers, dropping his head back down, face flushed and shoulders high. It was too much, entirely too much to have Tyson so close to him, touching him that way, and simultaneously it wasn't nearly enough.

"Anything else?" Tyson teased, leaning forwards as if to try and entice him. Elias was glued to the floor, refusing to look up at him after a breathless whine left his throat. "What is it, baby boy?"

He watched Elias melt at the words, legs shaking slightly as he stepped forward, quickly dropping to his knees in front of Tyson. He kept his arms raised in front of him in submission until Tyson took his wrists in his hands. He looked utterly broken as he peered up at him, the shower didn't help with the cuts and bruises as much as Tyson had been hoping. The bruises under his eyes seemed near permanent, and Tyson sighed heavily.

"Let me...let me make you feel good," Elias whispered, fingers reaching for the button of his jeans. Tyson's grip on his wrists was tight though, and Elias instinctively fell pliable in his grip, dropping his stretching fingers, when he realized Tyson wasn't going to let him move any more. "Wanna make myself useful."

Tyson dropped to his knees as well, keeping his grip secure on Elias as he did, trying to be at eye level. It was difficult because he was so much smaller than Tyson and he wouldn't look up at him anyways, but Tyson returned one of his hands to his own lap and coaxed him to look up with a finger just under his chin. "My love," he soothed him, "you don't even know what you're asking for. You've only been home an hour."

"But I-I don't...Ty..." His bottom lip trembled as he spoke, and now that his arm was free he once again rubbed nervously at his throat. Tyson had just started picking up on it, and all it made him think of was having to go pick up Elias from the hospital the first time, being told he'd been strangled. "P...please, Tyson. Hu-hurts."

"Look at you, Eli. You're shaking. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"No!" He whined, looking rather afraid at his own outburst. "Tyson, I'm begging you-"

He froze when Tyson's hand replaced his own, fingers loose around his neck. "What is this, why do you keep doing that?"

Elias flinched a little at the harsh tone he used, then he relaxed into his hand. "I don't have my...uh...a collar. I'm not used to it yet, I guess."

"A collar?! Ugh, christ. Why would he..." He trailed off as he saw the sad, dejected wince pass over Elias's face. "Hey, no, it's not you, love. You did nothing wrong."

Elias nodded slowly, then straightened out his posture a little, taking a deep breath to reassure himself. "I'm sorry. I won't whine anymore."

Tyson was shocked by the quick change in demeanor, how, when Tyson's tone changed with him, Elias seemed to correct himself to not look so bothered, so ill. The way he carried himself was more thought out, like he was aware of every muscle in his body, how to present himself in a pleasant way. He stood up with a huff. "Ok, beautiful. Come on, I'll make you some food."

Elias let Tyson pull him up to his feet, then followed him to the kitchen. He was set down in a chair to watch and wait (and look pretty, don't forget to look pretty, Tyson keeps looking over at him and smiling softly but only when he remembers to be pretty). He ignored the burning need in his chest to be underneath the knife Tyson was using to cut up fresh fruit, or to be the water running over his hands as he washed the juice off. He was jealous that he couldn't be closer to him than he was, so jealous it hurt him. But he stayed in his place at the table, because it's where Tyson wanted him to be. And that's all that mattered.

[fanfic-requests]

The Angel Next Door - Chapter 2

8:15 am…

“Good morning. Sleep well?” My mom is way too chipper in the morning.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Wow. Very detailed answer.”

“What? Do you want me to tell you how I drooled on my pillow and rolled off the bed twice?”

“Actually, kinda.”

“You’re weird.”

“What’s up slugger?” Dave walks in.

“Nothin’.”

“Wow babe, you’re kid’s quite the wordsmith.” I’m about to respond in a not-so-nice way, but I hold it back.

“When’s the pool gonna be ready?”

“It’ll be a few weeks.” My mom hands me a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks.” I start walking away.

“Hey! No food or drinks upstairs.” I turn to face Dave, really tempted to throw the OJ in his face.

“So no water? What about vitamins? Technically they’re food.”

“Haha, smart aleck.” He turns away from me and I flip him off.

My mom gives me a look that says “stop it!” and I just turn away, leaving my OJ on the nearest table.

When I get to my room I am very tempted to slam the door, but somehow manage to not do so. I open my window and just step out onto the deck to get some fresh air for the moment. And yet again there’s Asher. He seems to be playing some video games. So I reach into my room, grab a sock, ball it up, and throw it at his window. And he doesn’t notice. Son of a bitch. So I grab a pen and throw it. This time he notices and walks over to his window.

“What you doing?”

“Just playing some Madden.”

“Sounds fun.” I stand up, run across the roof, and jump across the gap between our roofs, landing directly in front of him.

“Shit! Dude!” He looks freaked out and I just start laughing.

“It’s all good. Now, are you gonna let me in and get destroyed in Madden? Or are we gonna just stand here like some weirdos from a 90s rom-com?”

“You’re crazy.” He steps back to let me in.

“I take that as a compliment.”

“You shouldn’t.”

I sit on his bed while he grabs another controller.

“I can’t believe you’re even awake right now. Did you even sleep?”

“I don’t sleep much.”

“So you’re super athletic and don’t sleep. Are you sure you’re not Spiderman?”

“Nope. Just a retired gymnast.”

“Gymnast?”

“What? You didn’t get gymnast off me?”

“Not at all.”

“Good.”

“How are you already retired?”

“Well I guess retired isn’t the right word. Just the one my mom uses.” I spot a photo on Asher’s desk and walk over. “It’s more that I got sick of it and left.” The photo is of him and what I’m assuming are his mom, dad, and younger brother and sister. “This your fam?”

“Yeah. From our trip to the Bahamas last summer.”

“Looks fun.”

“You’re parents seem nice. Saw them unpacking yesterday.”

“Dave’s not my dad.” I make sure to emphasize that.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No problem. Most people assume that.” I sit back down next to him. “My dad’s out of the picture now. Dave’s the evil stepfather.”

“Sorry.”

“He’s just the stereotypical evil step-parent. It’s actually his fault that we moved here. Some business opportunity or whatever.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry about that.”

“You say sorry a lot.”

“Sor… Oops.” We both laugh.

“Now can we just play or are you scared of losing?”

“What? You’re the one that started talking about Dave.”

“Oh shut up!” I shove him and he shoves me back as we laugh.

“That was just dumb luck.” I stand up, throwing the controller on the bed.

“Dumb luck? 12 times in a row?”

“Oh fuck you.” Asher laughs. “Let’s do something else. Go out or something.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Out.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“I haven’t met her, but I’m assuming she’s amazing.”

“Eww.”

“Let’s go.”

“Wait. Let me at least tell my parents.”

“Fine. Come on.” I open his bedroom door and standing right there is his mom.

She smiles at me, looking very confused.

“Hi. I’m Spencer.”

“Hey.” She looks very confused, but luckily Asher comes walking up.

“He’s the new neighbor.”

“Oh! Really good to meet you. I was planning on dropping by to say hi to your parents later.”

“Oh, they’d love that.”

“I didn’t even hear you come in earlier.”

“Oh… yeah… I’m very quiet.” Asher and I share a funny look.

“Well, Spencer and I were just about to go out. Can I borrow the car?”

“Sure. Where are you guys going?”

“Oh… um…” Asher is nervous and part of me doesn’t want to save him.

“He’s going to show me around town.”

“That’s nice. You guys have fun.”

Asher and I run out to the car.

“Do you need to go and get shoes? Maybe tell your mom and Dave that you’re going out?”

I look to the house for a second.

“Nah.” I jump into the car and I just see Asher smirk at that.

“Is he really that bad?” He asks as he drives out of the driveway.

“Worse. But everyone loves him. He’s only awful to me, and never in public.”

“Like… is he…”

“No. He’s not physical. He wouldn’t even dare. I would knock him out with one hit and he knows it.”

“Damn.”

“Let’s move on to something else.”

“Like what?”

“Tell me a summary of your life… in 60 seconds.”

“Oh…”

“Begin!”

“Shit! My name is Asher Angel…”

“Angel?”

“Shh. Since I was a kid I’ve been very into acting and singing. Got my first big gig at the age of six. From there on I’ve done a lot of plays and then a few small gigs before getting a major role on Disney Channel’s Andi Mack. I’ve released multiple albums. Then I got the role as Billy Batson in Shazam.”

“Five seconds.”

“Oh, and I love Top Golf, basketball, and my sibling’s names are Avi and London.” I just look over at him, unable to speak. “You good?”

“Um… describe good.” We both laugh. “Well, now I feel ridiculous. How did I not recognize you? I’ve seen Shazam!”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I liked it a lot too.” Asher can’t help but laugh. “Well, now I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be.”

“And now my life story feels pathetic.”

“I doubt it. No way your life could be boring. The first time I saw you you were sneaking off your roof.”

“ It’s fine. Let’s move on.”

“Come on. I won’t judge.”

“Wait! Stop here!” I point to our left.

“What? The playground?”

“What? It’s empty.” He pulls over and I quickly get out of the car.

I rush over to the bars. I jump on them and just start swinging around.

“You’re crazy.”

“Come on. Who says a playground is just for kids?”

“Everyone.”

“Well, kids can’t do this.”

I know this isn’t the safest, but at this point, I don’t care. So I push with all my force and spin around the pole. I spin a few more times before letting go and doing a simple under swing dismount.

“Shit!” Asher starts clapping.

“Thank you. Thank you.” I bow to him.

“I think it’s so cool that you can do that.”

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it? Bars aren’t really my thing though. I’m more of a floor guy.”

“Floor guy? That sounds a bit gross.” We both laugh.

“Eww.” I step back and quick front handspring.

“Shit. Can you do the splits?”

“Of course. But not in these pants.”

“So why’d you quit? You’re so good.”

“Swings!” I run to the swings.

“You’re really good at avoiding things. You know that, right?” Asher sits on the swing next to me.

“I know. You got a girlfriend?”

“Wow. What a transition there!”

“And?”

“No. I don’t have a girlfriend. Well, I did, but we broke up a few months ago.”

“Bummer.”

“And you? You leave a girl behind?”

“Oh god no. But I’ve had a few boyfriends. Not a recent one though.”

“Oh... “ I love seeing people’s faces when they realize I’m gay. “Sorry I assumed.”

“It’s fine. Most people do.”

“So you’re out?”

“Yeah. For two years now.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, are your parents fine with it?”

I sit there for a second and just stare forward. Part of me just wants to run, but I’m honestly just too tired to keep running.

“Well, my mom was fine with it. She told me she knew for a long time.” I feel my heart racing, thinking about all of this. “As for my dad…” I literally begin feeling my chest moving at a dangerous speed.

“You okay?”

“Not really.” I find my eyes tearing up, but then I just laugh.

“You sure.”

“Not really.” I laugh again. “When I was six my parents divorced. And I was given the choice of who I wanted to live with. I choose my dad.”

“Oh…” I can tell he’s intrigued like it’s a telenovela… and it is.

“So I lived with him. But I still saw my mom every weekend. We were close. But I was much closer with my dad.”

“That’s nice.” I can’t help but laugh at that and he just looks at me confused.

“Two years ago I came out to my parents. My dad couldn’t handle it. He kicked me out. I didn’t even get to pack. My mom picked me up and she had to pack all my stuff.”

“Damn. I’m sorry.” It is a struggle to not let my tears out right now.

“It’s all good.”

“Have you talked to him at all?”

“Nope. Haven’t heard a single word from him for two years now.”

“I can’t imagine that.”

“It’s fine. I’ve moved on.”

“There’s no moving on from that.” And then I snap, tears slowly falling down my face.

“God I wish I had my flask right now.” Asher and I both laugh a little. “Ugh, I hate this.” I wipe my tears.

“It’s not a bad thing to cry.”

“I know…”

“Really. Emotions aren’t a bad thing. If you ever need to talk about anything just jump on over.”

“Thanks…” I look at him. “Are you sure you’re straight?” I laugh, but I notice he doesn’t.

“Wanna go get some ice cream?”

“Look who’s avoiding things now?” We both laugh. “Come on. Ice cream sounds perfect.”

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch15: That Tie Looks Real Expensive

Summary: On the run from SHIELD, Katie and Steve find Natasha at the hospital when they head back for the memory drive. Their search for the truth leads Steve on yet another trip down memory lane and, as more truths bubble to the surface, the three of them are left running for their lives and are forced to seek help…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Language! Violence, and someone gets pushed off a roof but he’s Hydra so, meh.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: Not one but TWO edits from @angrybirdcr​ in this one!!

Chapter 14

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 After a bit of a skirmish on the bridge out of the Triskellion involving a Quinjet and some nasty looking road blocks, they made it out relatively unscathed all things considered and headed to the boxing gym they trained at so Steve could change. Katie told him to leave his suit behind in the hope that the tracking systems would give whoever came looking for them a bit of a detour. At her suggestion, in an attempt to keep them as unnoticeable as possible, he also locked his shield in his locker, with the view they’d collect it when it was safe to do so.

They reached the hospital with no further issues. Katie was feeling the effects of the fight in the elevator and the leap of faith they’d taken out of it and was stiff and bruised but she did her best to keep pace with Steve as they strode down the corridor. When they reached the vending machine, Steve stopped and peered into it, frowning as he realised the row where he had hidden the stick was empty. Then someone appeared behind them, and he saw Natasha’s reflection in the machine, blowing bubbles from the gum she’d obviously bought to retrieve the stick.

Steve spun round, temper reaching boiling point as he grabbed her by the neck in a display of anger Katie had rarely seen from him, pushing her into a room opposite.

“What happened to you?” She looked at Katie’s face, her eyes taking in the bruising around her left cheekbone and the split in her lip.

“Rumlow.” Katie snapped back, unwilling to discuss any further. Her patience with this whole situation was running thin and she was sick of not knowing who she could trust. She had resigned from SHIELD for this precise reason, and here she was, getting dragged once more back into their shit.

“Where is it?” Steve demanded, looking at Nat as he reached up and threw down his hood.

“Safe.”

“Do better.” Katie suggested, glaring at the woman she thought was her friend, not sure anymore whether or not to trust the red-head.

“Where did you get it?” Natasha asked.

“Why would I tell you?” Steve countered.

“Fury gave it to you,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”

“What’s on it?” Steve ask, ignoring her question.

“I don’t know,” Natasha answered.

 Steve lightly slammed her against the wall his patience thinning quickly, anger blazing from every inch of his body. “Stop lying,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I only act like I know everything, Rogers.”

“I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn’t you?” Katie said, looking at her.

“Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in…”

Katie let out a frustrated laugh before she spun around away from Natasha, groaning.

“I’m not gonna ask you again,” Steve threatened.

“I know who killed Fury.” Natasha spoke as Katie turned to face her again. “Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years.”

“So he’s a ghost story.” Steve concluded releasing her and taking a step back.

“Five years ago, I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran and somebody shot out my tires near Odessa.” She said, looking him straight in the eyes “We lost control, went straight over a cliff. I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him, straight through me.”

Natasha pulled up her shirt, revealing a scar on her lower left abdomen.

“Soviet slug, no rifling. Bye bye, bikinis.”

“Yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now.” Steve half joked.

“Going after him is a dead end. I know, I’ve tried.” Nat stated before she pulled out the thumb drive and held it out for all of them to see.

Steve eyed her before taking it and putting it in his pocket before he looked at Katie then back to Natasha.

“Let’s find out what the ghost wants.”

*****

“You know you could have picked something a little more subtle.” Nat hummed as she lounged in the backseat of the truck that they had taken from an industrial estate opposite the gym when they had stopped to pick up Steve’s shield and ditch Nat’s Corvette on their way out to New Jersey.

They had gotten what they needed from the Mall, including the location of where the AI that kept countering Natasha’s commands on the pen drive was coming from, which to Steve’s shock had been Camp Lehigh, the place he had trained and been selected for Operation Rebirth. After a close shave with the STRIKE team, in which Katie and Natasha’s stealth skills really had been put to the test, although Steve hadn’t objected to one part in particular where he’d had to kiss his girl on the escalator, they had bolted for Natasha’s car and made it out, unscathed and thankfully with a few new changes of clothes each.

“It’s a truck, lots of men drive trucks.” Steve replied, as he comfortably drove with one hand on the wheel, the other on the gearshift, eyes focussed on the road.

“Because they think it looks cool when in fact it just makes them look like douchebags who are compensating for something.” Nat responded.

Despite himself, Steve couldn’t help but quip back playfully. “Maybe I am.” “Well I know that’s not true” Nat replied, her voice full of a smirk. “Katie told me.”

Steve felt his cheeks flush as Katie shifted in the seat beside him, whipping her head round to face the woman. “Jesus, Nat!”

“What were your exact words?” Natasha continued, a teasing expression on her face. “Oh yeah, if that thing wasn’t enhanced by the-“ “If you don’t shut up I’m gonna come back there and slap you into next week.” Katie hastily cut her off. She turned back round, glancing at Steve. His cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment but there was a faint trace of a smirk on his face, his eyes still focussed ahead. He could tell she was looking at him so he kept his eyes on the road, fully aware he blushing. But as far as discussing their sex life with her friend went, he supposed that there were far worse things she could be saying.

“So where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?” Natasha asked a few minutes later as Katie noticed that they were passing a sign welcoming them to New Jersey. All things considered they’d made pretty good time.

“Nazi Germany” Steve looked over his shoulder at her. “And we’re borrowing, take your feet off the seat.“

Natasha eyed him in the mirror, but did as she was told before she leant forward between the two front seats.

"Alright, I have a question for you both, which you do not have to answer. But I feel if you don’t answer it though, you’re kind of answering it, you know?”

“What?” Steve asked exasperatedly.

“So before in the Apple store… you guys were like engaged…” She began a hint of a smirk on her face. “Any chance of that happening for real?”

Katie moaned and, upon hearing her, Steve felt something in his stomach tighten.

"That bad an idea huh?” He asked stealing a glance over at her.

“I didn’t say that.” Katie sighed.

“No but it kinda sounded like that’s what you meant.” Steve continued.

“I not even gracing that with a response” Katie shot him a look.

“You gonna grace my other question with a response?”

“Which was?”

“Whether you’re gonna move in with me or not.” He stole another glance at her but before she could reply he felt Nat shift a little.

“You asked her?” She aised her eyebrows. “Will you fuck off?” Katie snapped. She’d had enough and well and truly reached her fill of Natasha’s sarcasm, of SHIELD, of everything.

“Take it easy Stark.” Nat drawled back, nonplussed. “You know, if you don’t want to answer a question straight you could try making something up.”

“What, like you?”  Katie scoffed, looking at her over her shoulder

“You know the truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

"That’s a hard way to live,” Steve commented as he took in the red-heads words. Besides him Katie shifted, agitatedly and he knew she was pissed. Natasha was supposed to be her friend and all this had shaken her trust.

“It’s a good way not to die, though.” Natasha mused unconcerned.

“You know, it’s kind of hard to trust someone when you don’t know who that someone really is.” Katie shot the red head a pointed look and Steve held his breath for the sarcastic response he was expecting back. He really didn’t want to have to split up a fight between the two. But knowing his girl as he did, he had a horrible feeling it would go that way if Natasha bit back. Thankfully, she didn’t, her tone was soft, almost wistful when she answered

“Yeah.” Natasha replied, looking through the window. “Who do you want me to be?”

“How about a friend?” Steve jumped in.

“Well, there’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers.” Natasha smirked returning to her comfortable position in the backseat.

They sat in silence for a bit and Katie turned to look at Steve. If there was one person in all this she could trust, she knew it was him. She had no idea what they were going to find, what they were going to walk into but she trusted him with her life, and loved him with every inch of her being. And she wanted him to know, in case this all went wrong, just how much.

Steve shifted in his seat as he could feel her eyes on him for a while before she spoke finally.

“I’m not gonna move in with you.”

Steve’s head whipped round, his mouth dry at her refusal, before he returned his attention to the road, trying not to read too much into her rejection, as she continued to speak.

“Your flat is full of bullet holes, your bed is in the wrong place and frankly it’s too small for all my stuff. You’ll have to move in with me.”

Wait, what? That wasn’t a refusal. 

He looked at her, aware a grin was spreading across his face. “Seriously?”

She nodded, returning her gaze to the front, and he did the same as her fingers tangled into his right hand where it was resting on the pillar between their seats, gently pulling it into her lap so she could trace shapes on his palm.

And, surprisingly, there was no sarcastic comment from the back seats.

*****

“It’s some kind of recording,” Natasha frowned as she tried to make sense of what was happening in front of them. They’d scoured the camp and after a long search, just as they were ready to give up, Steve had spotted that the munitions building was in the wrong place. Further investigations had led them into a huge, underground bunker and, after an hour or so more of searching, they had discovered a secret Elevator that led down to a huge room full of ancient computers…and a more modern USB terminal.

Natasha had plugged in the USB device into the port, which had activated the system and now, well, now Katie had no idea what the fuck they were looking at.

“I am not a recording, Fraulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945.”

Steve sighed heavily as the computer screen showed a black and white photo of a familiar odd looking man with round glasses. Zola.

“Who is that?” Katie asked as Steve glared at the photo on the computer screen.

“Do you know this thing?” Natasha questioned sceptically.

“Armin Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He’s been dead for years,” Steve explained shortly as he walked round the back of the screen, looking for anything that would explain how it was working.

“First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body. My mind, however, that was worth saving. Two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain.” Zola explained.

“How did you get here?” Steve questioned, returning to the front of the television monitor.

“I was invited.”

“Operation Paperclip.” Natasha supplied as her and Katie exchanged a look.

“What?” Steve asked.

“After the War Shield recruited German scientists with strategic value.” Katie replied, her eyes still on the screen.

“They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own.” Zola continued.

“HYDRA died with the Red Skull,” Steve snapped.

“Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.” Zola said confidently

“Prove it.” Steve challenged and Katie had to stifle a sigh as she was pretty sure they were going to regret that.

“Accessing archive.”

The computer screen began to screen old footage of the Red Skull and of the original SHIELD founders.

“HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed.”

Various photos flashed up as he spoke of events through the course of modern history. Besides him Katie gulped when they reached the assassination of JFK, and the photo zoomed in on a grainy image of the masked man with the metal arm in the distance, aiming his rifle, The Winter Soldier.

“That’s impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you,” Natasha said quickly countering the computer.

“Accidents will happen.” The computer screen then revealed a very familiar item, the newspaper reporting Howard and Maria Stark’s deaths. Steve felt his mouth go dry as he realised what Zola was telling him, whilst besides him, Katie took a deep breath as she looked at the screen, her Parent’s faces looking back at her in black and white print. And then the ringing started in her ears.

Her parents had been killed. By HYDRA.

When she spoke again, her voice was as desperate as she was. Desperate for this to be nonsense. “No, that’s not… they died in an accident… it was a car crash…”

“Things are not what they seem.” The screen drawled back

“You killed them?” Katie’s chest was heaving, the anger now evident in her voice as it coursed through her veins, her voice loud as she balled her fists “HYDRA killed my parents? Why?”

A photo of Director Fury flashed up.

“HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security.” Pictures of three helicarriers were shown next, and Steve feltl the angry heat spread up his neck, blistering and raw. “Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA’s new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum.”

Steve’s anger boiled over, and it appeared Katie’s had as well as the pair of them surged forward. Katie lashed out with her right foot kicking over a chair in anger and Steve brought his right hand crashing into the TV, smashing the screen. It only resulted in silencing the Swiss man for a moment, before he spoke cockily once again from a different monitor

“As I was saying…”

"What’s on this drive?” Natasha asked quickly stepping in front of both Katie and Steve to avoid the pair of them destroying anything else.

“Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm.”

“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?” Katie demanded.

“The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it.”

Suddenly, the doors they came through started to close. Steve threw his shield attempting to catch them before they shut completely but it missed and he caught it as it ricocheted back.

“Guys, we got a bogey, short-range ballistics. Thirty seconds tops.” Natasha announced looking at her phone, her voice earnest.

“Who fired it?” asked Steve, as he starting to look for an alternative escape route.

“SHIELD.” She looked at him, then to Katie.

“Admit it Captain, it’s better this way. We’re both of us, out of time.” Warned Zola.

Katie looked around for any sign of a way out, knowing it was pointless. She spotted a grate in the floor not too far from where we were and yelled at Steve. Catching on to what she was saying, he easily threw the top off as Natasha pulled the drive out of the port that was on the desk.

“Get in!” Steve yelled. Natasha hopped down into the space, then Katie followed, the two girls getting as close to one another as they could to make room for Steve in the small space. He jumped down and pulled them both in close before holding his shield over their heads.

The missile hit a split second later. Instantly, heat, smoke and pressure surrounded the three of them. Steve could feel the ash in his throat and he had to fight with all his strength to keep his shield above them, as the debris from the collapsing building above rained down into the space they were hiding in. Letting out a groan he braced himself and simply stayed as strong as he could, and eventually the noise subsided. He could hear Katie’s heavy breathing as she struggled to maintain her calm, coughing slightly as she spoke.

“Nat?”

No answer.

Steve grunted again as he pushed against his shield trying to clear away the debris on top of it just enough to get out. He let out a sigh of relief as, following a third huge heave, light flooded down into the chamber. With another almighty shove, he managed to clear a path for him to climb out. He scrambled up, checked around to make sure it was safe and the he glanced down at the two women.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I am, but Nat’s passed out.” Katie blinked up at him, awkwardly shifting Natasha around carefully in order so Steve could lift her out. Carefully he set her down on the floor and then wrapped his hand around his girl’s wrist and pulled her out of the hole. Immediately she crouched next to Nat.

“Her pulse is strong. I think she just fainted, she doesn’t do well in tight spaces, like me.”  Katie coughed harshly before she paused at the sound of a familiar hum growing steadily closer.

“Quinjets.” Her eyes grew wide.

“Let’s go.” Steve ordered quietly, scooping Natasha up in his arms. Ensuring Katie was in front of him at all times, they quickly began navigating their way out of the rubble as they headed back to the truck.

Katie climbed into the backseat and Steve laid Natasha down so that her head rested in Katie’s lap before he jumped into the driver’s seat, starting the car and taking off down the dirt road.

Neither of them spoke for a good five minutes. Katie was still trying to make sense of what Zola had said. HYDRA had killed her parents, for no other reason that she could think of bar the fact her dad had worked tirelessly against everything they stood for, as part of SHIELD. Her eyes misted over and she tried to blink back the tears, keeping her breathing even. She knew if she started crying, after everything that had happened, she wouldn’t stop. 

In the front of the truck, Steve’s head was also reeling. All this time, HYDRA had grown within SHIELD, he’d gone into the ice for what? He wiped his hand over his face and glanced in the rear view mirror. Katie was looking down at Natasha, gently carding her hands through her friend’s hair, but he could see her eyes were wet. He felt another flash of anger. How could Fury have not noticed? How could Peggy have not noticed? So many goddamned questions.

“What…” Natasha’s voice was croaky and Steve glanced back again to see the red head’s eyes fluttering as she looked around.

“You passed out” Katie looked down at her. “We’re alright now, we got out ok.”

She sat upright and blinked again, “Thanks…”

Steve turned back to the windscreen as the car fell into silence.

“So, where to now?” Nat asked the question. No one answered which caused her to suggest “Tony?”

“No” Steve and Katie both said at the same time.

“For one thing he isn’t in the country.” Katie shook her head. “He’s in Aus working on some deal.”

“And they’ll be watching the Tower.” Steve continued, “It’s not safe”

“We need to get hold of Hill.” Katie licked her lips. “She’s the only one in any of this I trust now.”

Steve pondered, and then had to concede she was right. “Alright, but we need to lay low whilst we do. Any ideas?”

“Yeah.” Katie nodded. “And it’s a crazy one, but one that no one will ever suspect as no on in SHIELD knows the guy exists. Not yet anyway.”  Steve shot her a questioning glance in the mirror, which turned into one of realisation as she finished. “Sam Wilson.”

“Honey we hardly know the guy.” Steve shook his head.

“Well trusting people we do know hasn’t exactly worked for us so far, has it?” Katie snapped back, a little tetchily. Steve opened his mouth to argue but Natasha cut him off.

“Nova’s right. Sometimes the person you have to trust is a stranger.” *********

Once they had tracked down Sam’s address, which was fairly easy to figure out when you had access to JARVIS via a StarkPhone, Sam let them in without so much as a question, the fact that the three of them were battered, bruised and filthy declaring everyone they knew was trying to kill them told him all he needed to know. He offered up his guestroom and Steve, being the gentleman that he was, let both Natasha and Katie go before him, giving Sam a brief overview of what had happened.

Katie and Natasha both showered quickly, and now they were currently sat quietly in the guestroom while Steve used the en-suite. He washed his face and looked in the mirror, letting out a sigh as he glanced back at his reflection, various bruises already covered his arms and upper body thanks to his accelerated healing but that wasn’t what bothered him. He was completely and utterly at a loss as to what to do next. Turning, he opened the door and saw Katie sitting behind Nat on the bed, drying the back of the woman’s red hair. He locked eyes with her, gave her a small smile and then looked at Natasha who was staring into space.

“You okay?" 

"Yeah,” She replied quickly, too quickly.

Steve set down the towel he was drying his hands with and entered the room then sat on the chair across from the girls. He leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at Natasha carefully. “What’s going on?”

“When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for Hydra,” Natasha confessed, looking down at her hands. “I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore.”

“There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business.” Katie teased earning a small smile from the redhead.

“I owe you.” Natasha sighed quietly, “Both of you.”

“It’s okay,” Steve smiled.

“If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your lives – and be honest with me – would you trust me to do it?” She asked quietly, her green eyes locked onto Steve’s.

“I would now,” said Steve. “And I’m always honest.”

“Without question.” Katie added as Nat turned to her, a smile growing on her lips.

“Well,” She said as she looked back at Steve. “You seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing.”

“Well, guess I just like to know who I’m fighting,” Steve sighed in response, although she had hit a nerve.

“I made breakfast,” Sam’s voice came and the three looked to see him leaning up against the doorframe. “If you guys, eat that sort of thing.” He added as he left.

Steve inclined his head slightly, smiling as Natasha stood up and left the room, shouting after Sam to see if he had a hair dryer, earning her a sarcastic response about him not having had an afro since the late eighties. Katie made to follow her but Steve caught her arm gently as he too rose from his chair.

“Doll.” He started, wanting to talk to her about the discovery but she cut him off, shaking her head. She didn’t want to talk about it. It was too painful and the fear of what Tony would say was eating her up.

“You know, after mom and dad died, Tony lost it.” Katie sighed gently, voicing her fears. “When he finds out they were murdered it could push him over the edge again.”

“Don’t tell him then.” Steve found himself suggesting. He didn’t approve of lying, but sometimes if knowing the truth was detrimental then…

“And then if he does find out, and then realises I knew and didn’t tell him?” Katie swallowed, shaking her head “I don’t know what’s worse, Steve.”

She looked utterly lost and broken and Steve felt a lump catch in his throat as he pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head. He was desperately trying to think of something that would raise her mood, and then he found himself for some strange reason thinking back to the banter the three had shared in the truck and he knew just how to do it.

“Did you really tell Natasha I had a big…” He looked down at his girl as she gave a small chuckle, the sound music to his ears.

“No I said you were a big dick…she must have misheard me”

He rolled his eyes and a sarcastic “ha ha” fell from his mouth as she smiled, sliding her hands up his chest.

“What I actually said was that if that thing…”she glanced down at his crotch before looking back up. “wasn’t supersized at the same time you were, I have no idea how you managed to stand upright before the serum.”

Jesus she was incorrigible at times. But Steve loved her for that. And he was also secretly pleased she thought he was packing, so to speak. He smirked as his hands slid to her hips. “You’re a nightmare.”

“Yeah but you love me.” She grinned.

“Yeah, yeah I do.” His lips met hers in a soft kiss before the pair of them sighed, the moment of humour and good nature slipping away as they both remembered exactly where they were and why they were there.

“Come on.” Steve took her hand and together they headed down the hall into the kitchen area, the smell of food hitting his nostrils made his stomach grumble.  

“You all look a hell of a lot better.” Sam commented as Katie grabbed a few things for her plate- a couple of pancakes, fruit and toast. Steve smiled a bit at the quasi-compliment before he sighed, biting into a piece of toast.

“Well, it’s been an eventful twenty-four hours.” He responded as he slipped into a chair.

“I aint got anywhere to be.” Sam shrugged as he looked at Steve “I know you gave me the overview but how about you give me the details?”

Katie sat down next to Steve at the table and looked at him, then to Natasha before they launched into a detailed explanation of what had happened as Sam listened intently asking questions and serving coffee out to them as they continued explaining over the next thirty minutes or so.

“So, the question is, who in SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike?” Natasha asked from where she was stood, leaning comfortably back against Sam’s countertops.

“Alexander Pierce,” Katie confidently answered, finishing her coffee. It was amazing how much of the situation now was starting to slot into place following food and caffeine.

“Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world,” Natasha walked towards the table, standing behind Katie, almost snorting at the irony of the situation.

“He’s not working alone, Zola’s algorithm was on the Lemurian Star.” Steve continued.

“And you told me that Jasper Sitwell was too.” Katie added, as the three of them shared a glance. There was another piece of the puzzle.

“So, the real question is,” Steve looked at Katie then to Nat “How do the three most wanted people in Washington kidnap a SHIELD officer in broad daylight?”

“The answer is, you don’t.” Sam dropped a file on to the table to the right of Katie.

“What’s this?” Steve asked, standing up as Natasha picked up the file.

“Call it a resume.”

Katie stood up as well so the three of them could look at the file.

“Is this Bakhmala? The Khalid Khandil mission-that was you?” Natasha asked and Sam nodded. She then turned to Steve. “You didn’t say he was a para rescue.”

“Riley?” Katie asked nodding to the photo of Sam and another man.

“Yeah.” Sam answered gently.

“I heard they couldn’t bring in the choppers because of the RPGs,” Natasha recalled. “What did you use, a stealth chute?”

“No. These.”

Sam handed Steve another file and he opened it, his eyes growing wide as they looked down at  Sam soaring through the air using what could only describe as a pair of mechanical wings. He shared an impressed look with Katie before he glanced at Sam.

“I thought you said you’re a pilot?”

“I never said a pilot.” Sam countered with a little chuckle and a smirk.

“I can’t ask you to do this, Sam. You got out for a good reason.” Steve shook his head.

“Dude, Captain America needs my help. There’s no better reason to get back in.” Sam almost scoffed.

“Where can we get our hands on one of these things?” Katie asked, looking up.

“The last one is at Fort Meade, behind three guarded gates and a twelve inch steel wall.” Sam supplied, his tone a little dejected.

Steve looked to Natasha who nodded with a shrug. “Shouldn’t be a problem.” He almost smiled, looking at Sam with a smirk before he turned to Katie. “Reckon you can track down Sitwell?”

“Sam, you got a Laptop?” Katie looked to the man who nodded. “Then yeah, I can track him down.” She affirmed, dropping her StarkPhone onto the table.

********

The plan was as solid as they could make it. Steve and Nat were taking Sam’s car to Fort Meade to break out his kit whilst Sam and Katie stayed behind to track down Sitwell. It wasn’t ideal splitting up, but it was the best option they had. All four of them travelling would have attracted attention, plus this way if two of them did get caught, the other two still had a chance of getting the job done.

Steve drove the truck down the freeway, Nat lounging in the front seat as she looked at the plans of the base that they now had courtesy of some expert searching via Google Maps.

“If we go in from the East Side we should have the element of surprise.” She spoke and Steve nodded.

“Right, we get in, we get out, minimum casualties, minimum fuss.”

Natasha hummed her agreement as Steve stopped at a red light.

“So, you actually asked Stark to move in?” Nat grinned.

“Yeah.” “I’m impressed. Your forty’s programming has been well and truly broken.” Steve rolled his eyes “Well I figured I want to spend the rest of my life with her so what does it matter?” He realised what he’d said instantly and let out a groan as Natasha grinned.

“You wanna marry her…” She said in a sing-song voice.

“People don’t always get married now.” Steve tried to shrug it off and Nat snorted.

“Bullshit Rogers! Soon as you can get a ring on it we all know you’re gonna.”

“Who’s we?”

“Everyone.” Natasha added sagely. “You two are like ultimate couple goals. It’s cute.”

Steve took a deep breath, staring ahead as he drove before he took a deep breath. “You know I kinda already asked her.” He looked back at Natasha who turned to him, mouth open. He had no idea why he was telling her this, absolutely no idea, other than the fact it felt nice to talk about something positive. “Well, not properly, but when I asked her to move in she was teasing me about us not being married so I said we could get married if she wanted, and-” “Great proposal.” Nat cut him off with a snigger. “What did she say?” “Told me to ask again with a, and I quote, big, fuck off tiffany diamond.”

“Every girl deserves a bit of sparkle.” Nat mused. “Unlucky for you, you’ve chosen a Billionaire to date.” “She’s not like that.” Steve instantly jumped to his girl’s defence.

“I know.” Nat soothed with a smile. “I know.”

They fell into silence for the rest of the way and, upon arriving at the base, they crept round to the best point of entry, following the heat scanners on Nat’s phone. Steve easily dispatched three guards, Natasha another two before they reached the room they were looking at. Natasha easily hacked the security codes thanks to something on her phone, Steve didn’t ask what, and they met no one on their way out.

Frankly, it went far too smoothly for Steve’s liking but he wasn’t going to complain. He just hoped Katie had got on as well with locating Sitwell.

***** Once Steve and Nat had left, Sam fired up the laptop for Katie and she plugged the end of her StarkPhone into the USB port.

“So you know this guy we’re looking for?” Sam asked, placing a coffee down next to her as she waited for the programme to run its magic.

“Vaguely.” She sighed out, knowing it would be easier if she knew him better. “But I can work with what I have.”

“So using what you have, how do we find him?”

“Simple, I’m going to check his work calendar.” Katie nodded at the laptop

 “And you can do that?” Sam asked

“Not on my own.” She grinned

“Good morning again Miss Stark.” JARVIS’ voice rang out from the laptop, causing Sam to slop coffee down his shirt in surprise.

“Hey JAR, I need a favour. Again. And it’s urgent.” “Of course.” “I need you to by-pass the SHIELD firewall and access someone’s calendar without them noticing.”

“Certainly, but permit me to ask,is everything ok Miss Stark?”

“Nope it is not…” she sighed “I’m in trouble J, but I’m hoping this is gonna help…”

“Should I alert Mr Stark? Maybe call him back from Australia?” “Absolutely not.” Katie shook her head. “There’s no time, in fact I forbid it…”

Once she had explained what she needed, JARVIS set to work, informing her he was going to scramble the IP address and set up a ghost server which would, in turn, allow him to access the information without being detected.

It didn’t take long. Fifteen or so minutes later Sitwell’s calendar flashed up and Katie gave a little yell of triumph.

“JARVIS, you are a genius, buddy!”

“Why thank you, Miss Stark. But I only have about sixty seconds before I will need to close down the connection.”

“Understood. Right let’s see where you’re at, you fucker.” Katie mused, as Sam peered over her shoulder.

“Look, briefing over lunch with Senator Stern at Occidental… 13:00 hours…” He read, pointing at the screen.

“Then he has another meeting at 14:30 back at the Triskellion… so Lunch is our window.” Katie looked up at Sam.

“Gives us an hour and a half.”

“Cutting it fine.” Katie mused. “Ok, thanks J, you can disconnect.”  “Certainly Miss Stark. Good luck.”

Just as the AI had shut the link down her mobile rang.

“We got it.” Nat’s voice instantly spoke as she put the phone on speaker. “All ok your side?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Katie replied

“Any luck finding Sitwell?” this time it was Steve

“Yeah, he’s having lunch at Occidental with Senator Stern at 1pm.”

“Oh, how nice, they have a Senator involved.” Nat snorted sarcastically.

“And that’s going to be our only window before he’s back at the Triskellion at two-thirty.”

“Doesn’t give us much time…” Steve mused.

“What’s your ETA?”  Sam asked.

“About twenty five minutes.” 

“Okay, so let’s do the brain storming whilst you’re on the phone.”  Katie tapped at Sam’s laptop.  “The restaurant they’re going to is in the Business District, so we need somewhere secure that’s close by to take him for a little chat.”

She brought up the Google Map images so Sam could see.

“There.” Sam tapped at the screen, “There’s a multi-storey parking lot a few blocks down. We can take him up high…”

“And kick him off the edge.” Katie nodded.

“Stark, I like your style.” Nat replied, and Katie could hear the smirk in her voice.

“Okay so we got the where, now we need the how.” Steve sighed. “We can’t just pick him up at lunch. If the Senator’s there security will be a nightmare.”

"So we wait until he’s finished.” Sam shrugged

”But how do you get him to get in the car?”

“Simple. We give him a choice.” Katie eyed her gun where it lay on the table. “Do it or die.”

***** It turns out fear of death is a very, very good motivator.

Their plan went off perfectly. Natasha spoofed a phone number which Sam used to call Sitwell once he emerged from the restaurant after lunch. As predicted, Sitwell had been his usual cocky little shit of a self, asking Sam why on Earth he would what he was being instructed to do.

And then Katie had aimed her gun sight at him from her hiding place, the red laser sight clear in the middle of Sitwell’s chest.

“Because that tie looks really expensive, and I’d hate to mess it up.” Sam smirked.

Sitwell, resigned to his face, followed Sam instructions and as he left the little plaza upon which the restaurant was situated, Katie stepped out from her hiding place behind the wall of the bar Sam was sat at and pressed the muzzle of her gun into Sitwell’s lower back.

“One move and this goes straight into your spine. And I’ll make sure it doesn’t kill you, just leaves you with no feeling from the neck down…” She informed him, her voice low. Sitwell instantly tensed. "Miss Stark.” He grumbled out, seemingly more annoyed than scared. “Of course you’re involved with this.”

She took in a breath and glanced around, making sure none of the security team with him had realized what had happened. Sam was a few paces behind them and he gave her a nod to say they were clear before she turned back to Sitwell.

“You made me a wanted fugitive.” She shrugged. “Didn’t have much choice.” She stopped walking. “Now, get in the car.” She ordered, sternly.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“Get in the car.” She repeated. Sitwell stared at her, looked down at the gun before he swallowed and decided to do as he was told.

"We good?” Sam asked. Katie let out a breath and swiped a loose hair away from her face.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They drove two blocks away and pulled up outside the large Starbucks on the main road.

“You know I could have got a coffee at the Restaurant.” Sitwell sighed, sarcastically. But his cocky demeanour soon dropped when both the rear car doors opened and Steve slid in one side, Natasha in the other.

“Good afternoon Agent Sitwell…” Steve turned to him, aviator shades covering his eyes. Sitwell looked at Steve, then to Natasha before his shoulders slumped and he bowed his head.

“Shit.”

******

Sitwell really was an arrogant little bastard, Steve had to give him that. The soldier easily manhandled the Agent onto the top of the Car Park roof, demanding to know what the Algorithm was, backing him up right to the edge where Sitwell had almost laughed, stating that it wasn’t Steve’s style to throw people off the edge.

Well, he had a point.

“You’re right. It’s not.” Steve released Sitwell, smoothing out his suit, letting the man nearly sigh in relief. Katie exchanged a glance with Natasha behind Steve’s back, the corner of her mouth twitched up slightly as Nat looked back. They were both going to enjoy this.

“It’s theirs.” Steve finished, before standing aside as both Katie and Natasha aimed strong kicks to Sitwell’s chest, sending him tumbling over the edge.

“So you’re definitely moving in together, then huh?”  Natasha asked, peering over the edge as Steve and Katie did the same, listening to Sitwell’s screams growing fainter.

“Yeah.” Steve smiled, looking down off the side of the room, hands in his pockets. “Although I’m not sure how I’m going to cope surrounded by mess.”

Katie rolled her eyes, as Sitwell’s screams started getting louder again and suddenly Sam flew over with him in his grasp and dropped him back onto the roof, before landing a few feet away. The three of them turned toward Sitwell and he stuck his hands up in surrender, telling them everything.

"Zola’s algorithm is a program, for choosing Insight’s targets!” He rushed out.

“What targets?” Steve demands.

“You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defense, a high school valedictorian in Iowa City. Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who’s a threat to HYDRA! Now, or in the future,” Sitwell continued to rush out failing to catch his breath.

“The future? How could it know?” Steve asked in confusion. At this Sitwell laughed as he stumbled back to his feet, looking at Katie before he glanced at Steve.

“How could it not? The twenty-first century is a digital book. Zola taught HYDRA how to read it,” He said getting confused looks from the Soldier in return, “Your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, e‐mails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores! Zola’s algorithm evaluates peoples’ past to predict their future.”

Steve swallowed. He’d heard and seen more unbelievable things.

“And what then?” He asked, already thinking he knew but didn’t want to know the answer. Sitwell shook his head in disbelief as Katie exchanged a glance with Sam who was stood behind Sitwell. He shook his head in disbelief.

“Oh, my god. Pierce is gonna kill me.” He mumbled to himself and he tried to back away from the advancing super-solider but Sam reached out, holding him in place with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“What then?” Steve demanded louder.

Sitwell sighed as he looked at Steve. “Then the Insight Helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few million at a time.”

**** Chapter 16

**Original Posting**

[vintagedolan]

cross country (gbd)

description: when you get stuck in california during quarantine with a dwindling lease at the dolan’s house, grayson wants nothing more than for you to get to new jersey with him

word count: 4.5k

warnings/tags: fluff, this is literally um the softest thing i’ve written???, quarantine/COVID, grayson spoiling Y/N, you get the picture hehe

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy, send me some feedback and I’ll give you my eternal love :)

You never wanted to lift another box in your whole life, that was for damn sure. There was sweat running down your forehead as you lifted the next one, carrying the cardboard all the way through the house into the living room, which was becoming a huge pile of everything that the twins had acquired over their years in LA. 

The plan was simple: the boys were going home to jersey to see their mom before the quarantine got too serious, and then they were coming right back because they needed to find a place in LA, seeing that their lease was ending. 

Well, needless to say, that plan had gone to absolute shit. And that meant you were thousands of miles away from Grayson, and had three days before you would be homeless. 

Lovely. 

The nice thing about it was that you didn’t have much time to mope - since the boys were still in jersey, all the packing was left up to you. And while you were efficient, it didn’t mean it wasn’t a lot of fucking work. 

You went back into Ethan’s room, getting another box of clothes. As you walked, your phone vibrated in the pocket on the side of your leggings. You knew who it was, but you waited until you got to the living room and sat the box down to answer it. 

A facetime from Grayson. That brightened your mood considerably. 

When you swiped over, you immediately relaxed a bit at the sight of his face. His hair was getting so long during quarantine, and it was pushed back with a headband he’d borrowed from his mom, no doubt. He was in a tshirt, which was different than the rest of the times he’d called you. Which was about ten times a day.

“Hey baby,” you smiled at him, catching your breath as you walked back to your shared room. As much as you wanted to sit down and relax and talk to your boyfriend, there wasn’t enough time for all that.  

“You look exhausted,” was the first thing he said. 

“Wow, thank you so much, love you too,” you teased. 

“You look beautiful, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that-”

“I’m kidding Gray. And before you start worrying for the hundredth time today, I’m fine,” you reminded him as you pulled out a dresser drawer you shared, beginning to transfer the clothes into yet another box. He watched you work with sad eyes, and you knew what was coming before he said it.

“I feel like shit that you’re doing all this work.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

“Would you do it for me? If you were stuck across the country in my house-”

“Our house,” he corrected. You couldn’t tell if he was referring to sharing with you or with Ethan, or both, but you kept going regardless.

“Okay, stuck in our house, and I needed to pack it all up, would you do it for me?”

He hesitated, and you knew he didn’t have a good response to that.

“That’s different,” was his only comeback, and you laughed a bit.

“Bullshit. You’re just mad because I’m gonna have to wear all your clothes cause none of mine will fit over my new muscles,” you joked, flexing your scrawny arms. You knew you looked dumb, but it got the laugh out of Grayson that you were hoping for, and that’s all that mattered.

“Right, you act like you don’t just wear my clothes all the time anyways. I’m not even sure you have any clothes of your own,” he teased, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh really? I could have sworn these were mine.” You dug around the drawer, finding a particularly nice pair of lace panties, holding them up to the screen. He groaned, falling out of screen for a moment. It took a second for you to realize he’d fallen back on the bed. 

“You don’t play fair,” he said once he moved his phone back to his face. “I miss you so fuckin’ much, you have no idea.” 

You were pretty sure you had an idea. This was now week four without seeing him in person, and it was actually awful. You’d known it would suck, but you didn’t think it would hurt to be away from him. And you were doing everything you both could - facetime dates, phone calls, texting, he’d even written a letter to you. But there was just something about being in his arms, hearing his laugh without the distortion of a phone speaker, waking up next to him; it couldn’t be replaced. 

Which meant you needed to mention your plan. 

“I wanna come to jersey,” you started.

“You know I would kill to have you here baby, you know that.”

“Grayson, the lease is ending. I think that counts as a reason for emergency travel. I mean, I’m technically gonna be homeless,” you reminded him. “And I know I can stay with Shane, or with Jeffree.” They had been nice enough to offer. Hell, Jeffree was letting the boys store everything at his house, even the cars. “But I wanna be with you.” 

“I don’t want you on a plane. You could get sick.”

“I won’t fly. I’ll take the van. I mean, that’s why you built it, isn’t it?” 

“Y/N...”

“I know, it seems crazy. But if I split it up into three days, I could do it. I’d be careful at gas stations, pack up enough food to last me. You know I can drive for forever, I could probably pull 15 hours or so a day, that would get me back pretty quick, and I’d be safe.”

“Safe,” he breathed, shaking his head. “Y/N, I was sketched out sleeping in that thing with two other grown men with me. The thought of you sleeping in there, alone in some parking lot...” he trailed off. “No. It’s too risky.”

“Gray-”

“Baby I want you here more than anything. Not knowing when I’m gonna see you again is actually killing me, but I’m not putting you at risk over that.”

“Okay, well, let’s compromise then. What would make you feel safer about it?” 

“You not doing it,” he said bluntly.

“Be serious babe.”

“You sleeping alone out there. I know you’d be fine with the driving, but I’m not okay with you sleeping in the van by yourself.”

“Okay...” you paused for a minute, trying to think of a solution. “Okay, what if I drove at night, and then I slept during the day? Less people on the roads, and I think we’d both feel safer if I was sleeping during the daylight. Would that work?” 

“That’s better. I still don’t love it. I’m not trying to be difficult, I just, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he mumbled, picking at the fabric on his blanket.

“I know that baby, to be honest the thought of sleeping in there alone scares me a little bit too. But I’m willing to do it if it means I get to see you.” 

Grayson was silent for a while. You knew he was fighting with himself, and that he probably felt selfish for even considering giving in. But you also knew, deep down, you were going to do it no matter how much he protested. So you were glad when he finally conceded with a simple “I love you”. 

Now, with the realization that you were going to see him in just a few days, your motivation was renewed ten fold, and you got to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

night one

You would have thought it wouldn’t be hard to get to sleep after the day you’d had. 

You were wrong.

The furniture had been moved out - Jeffree had been nice enough to hire a few movers to come get the furniture and the cars. Now, the house lay empty besides your bags that would go with you in the van, and you couldn’t wait to get on the road. Correction; you couldn’t wait to get to Grayson. The thought of seeing him again gave you butterflies. 

Once everything was done and final, you drug a few of the cushions out of the bed in the van, bringing them into the air conditioning so you could try to snag a few hours of sleep. 

While you managed to get a bit of rest, it was mostly futile. The quicker you got on the road, the quicker you’d get to jersey.

So with that, you packed up the van with all the food and snacks you had, reassembled the bed, tossed your bag in and climbed in the drivers seat.

I’m leaving, see you so soon!!!!!! you sent to Grayson, not being able to contain your excitement. 

4pm is not a night drive... he responded quickly.

shut up im excited BE EXCITED

you know i’m excited. be careful, I’ll call you in a little while x

With that, you drove out of the driveway for the last time, with New Jersey in the GPS. 

And the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Grayson called you around 7pm to check on you and keep you company. You ate the sandwich you’d made as the sun set, and you continued down the road. It was peaceful if you were honest, and the van drove so nicely - Grayson really had done a good job. 

Although he tried to stay up, Grayson’s snoring took over around 11pm (2am jersey time you reminded yourself), so you hung up and starting blasting some of your favorite tunes to keep you alert and awake. Not having any traffic was a bonus, and you were amazed with the progress you were making. By the time the sun came up, you were already in Colorado. You resorted to driving until around ten, which landed you about at the border of Nebraska after a whopping 18 hours. You pulled into a non-sketchy looking parking lot, relieved that you’d found one.

I’m stopping to sleep for a few hours. I love you!

You sent it and started rummaging around in your bag, finding your toothbrush, toothpaste and pajamas. You brushed your teeth outside using your water bottle, changing in the car and cuddling up in bed. The bedding smelled a bit like the boys, which was comforting. Just as you started the settle down, your phone rang, Grayson’s contact photo popping up. You swiped over to open it, happy to see his face. 

“Hey baby, I was just about to get some sleep actually,” you said. And now that you had laid down, you realized how tired you truly were.

“I know. I’ll mute my side so I don’t keep you up, but I’ll be here in case you need me,” he said casually.

“Grayson you don’t have to-”

“I want to. It’ll make me feel better, knowing someone is watching out for you while you’re asleep.” 

It was so sweet that you started to tear up, so you just buried your face in the pillow instead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby, get some sleep.”

And you did.

-------------------------------------------------------------

night two

You woke up around five, fully refreshed - other than feeling like you needed a shower. You stretched out before getting up and heading to brush your teeth. When you got back in the van you got changed into some of the clothes you brought, happy to have on something fresh.

“That’s my hoodie.” The male voice startled you and you squealed, covering yourself.

“Baby it’s just me! It’s me!” It took you a minute to realize that it was Grayson speaking to you from your phone, which also was pointed where he could see you.

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” You huffed, pulling the fabric over your head.

“Sorry, I was just enjoying the show,” he blushed, smirking at you a bit. You rolled your eyes, but giggled with him as you climbed into the drivers seat once again, pulling out the dinner you had packed, deciding to eat a bit before getting back on the road. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Grayson sighed. You looked at your screen closely and realized he was in his workshop.

“I’ll be there so soon. Now, go build some stuff, I’m all safe and awake now. I love you,” you smiled, knowing he would never be the first to hang up. 

“Okay baby. Drive safe, call me if you get bored.” 

“I will, love you!” 

And so you took off, heading through Nebraska. The states seemed to be getting quicker now as you passed through Iowa, then Illinois, and even Indiana. Grayson called, and even Ethan kept you company for a few hours on the drive, making it go by fast. By the time you got to Ohio, the sun was high in the sky and you realized you actually weren’t that far from jersey. Only another seven hours, and if you kept driving, it would put you at their house around 7pm. You thought about the cold brew that you’d stashed in the fridge in case you’d struggled through the nights.

You could use it, and you could make it. In all honesty, you weren’t even that tired as the excitement started to mount. 

But you also knew that Grayson would rather you just sleep, and that he was going to call you again. So, you had to hatch a plan. 

You pulled into a nice looking parking lot, prepared to set it into motion.

You changed into your pajama shirt, taking your hair out of it’s bun so it looked like you were getting ready to go to bed. Taking a deep breath, you facetimed Gray.

“Is it bedtime?” was how he answered, making you laugh. He was in the kitchen at home, making lunch you were sure.

“Yeah, I made some good progress! I should be getting in around 8am or so tomorrow morning,” you explained, hoping he couldn’t see through you. 

“I can’t wait. I’m gonna pamper you so hard for all the work you did, that’s a promise.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words.

“I can’t wait. But I’ve got sad news.”

He perked up at that, putting down the spatula he was using.

“My phone is kinda low on battery, so I don’t think we can facetime tonight. I don’t want it to be dead in the morning, and I can’t run the van,” you sighed, faking sadness. 

“Are you in a safe area?” 

“Yeah, I feel totally safe here. See, look.” You turned the phone around, showing him the lot you were in. 

He wasn’t happy about it you could tell, but he trusted you. And thinking about how excited he would be made you feel less bad about your white lie. 

“Well, okay. Just text me when you wake up okay? I love you.”

“Love you more!”

“Doubtful. Get some rest,” he smiled, hanging up. 

“Ha!” you exclaimed to yourself, smiling and fist pumping the air. Wow. You really were going crazy after being alone so long. You climbed in the driver’s seat again, pulling the cold brew out of the fridge and popping it open as you started to drive again. 

At first you were so excited that it felt like time was flying, but by the last few hours it was dragging by. The sun set, and the kiss of dusk was hanging over the trees as you got closer and closer. 

But when the GPS changed from hours to minutes, and the roads changed from interstates to back roads, you were fully awake once again. You’d actually managed to pull off almost 24 hours of straight driving. When you pulled into the driveway, there was a gate and armed security - the same ones that the boys had hired in LA.

“Hey guys, I’m early, I’m here to surprise Gray,” you explained. They were sweet like usual and happily let you through, closing the gate behind you. With some renewed energy, you stopped the van and brushed your teeth again - in all honesty, you felt disgusting and couldn’t wait for a shower, but the coffee breath was a definite no go. If you were going to kiss Grayson for the first time in a freakin month, you didn’t want to be worried about anything. 

Once you were back in the drivers seat, it was time for a little fun. 

You pulled your phone out, facetiming Grayson and driving super slow. He picked up quickly, concern on his face.

“Is something wrong?” was the first thing he asked.

“No, i’m okay. I started driving again cause I couldn’t sleep, but now I’m lost. My GPS took me onto some long ass gravel road, and now I’m surrounded by trees and I have no clue where I am,” you ranted, using every ounce of acting ability you had to not tip him off. 

“Slow down, hey it’s alright. Why don’t you just turn around and go back the way you came, and then we can figure it out.”

“I don’t know, I think theres a building or something up ahead of me, maybe a store? I could ask somebody for directions?”

“I’d rather you just go back. I don’t trust some random store at the end of some sus ass road. Just turn around baby,” he pleaded, getting a bit panicked. Luckily, you knew it wouldn’t last long because you were already in front of the house. You cut the lights on the van.

“Here, you tell me if it’s sus. What do you think?” You flipped the camera around, showing him the house. 

“I mean - wait. WAIT. WHAT? WHAT!? NO FUCKIN WAY,” he yelled, obviously freaking out. You laughed, hanging up the call and waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, you’d barely gotten the driver door open when Grayson came barreling out of the front door. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you unbuckled your seatbelt and started to climb down. Grayson beat you to it, coming to the opening of the door and reaching up to pull you out of the car. You were laughing as he grabbed you, wrapping you up in his arms. 

“No fuckin way, no fuckin way that you’re actually here right now! What the fuck!” 

“Surprise!” 

“Did you drive all night? Or all day? I just... WHAT!?” He was truly speechless and it was the most adorable thing in the world. He leaned back slightly so he could look at you, eyes wide with amazement.

“Maybe,” you grinned, shrugging. 

“God I love you. C’mere.” His hands slid down to your hips, then around to your ass and you knew exactly what he wanted. You jumped and he caught you as your legs went around his waist, and then his lips were on yours.

It was like the best first kiss you could possibly imagine. You’d thought about kissing him constantly while you were apart, but you were realizing that it had done this no justice. His lips were soft and warm against yours, the taste of him familiar and wonderful. Your hair started to move in the wind and you realized that he was spinning the two of you around, his boots crunching on the gravel beneath you. You could feel the smile on his face as you kissed him, never wanting it to end.

“Ewwwww,” was the only thing that could have brought you out of it, and sure enough, it did. Ethan was on the porch, leaning against the pillars. Despite his words, he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Hey E,” you smiled, laughing a bit at how you must look right now, waving at him while Grayson was still holding you up. 

“Go say hi, I’ll get your stuff,” Grayson smiled, kissing your temple and putting you down. You turned and jogged towards Ethan, who gave you the biggest bear hug, even spinning you around a little bit.

“Missed you squirt,” he teased, swaying back and forth a bit.

“Missed you too,” you grinned, squeezing him tightly.

“Thanks again for uh saving all our possessions and moving all our shit.”

“You’re very welcome. And you also have a shoe problem, just so you know,” you teased.

“I do not!” He exclaimed, putting you in a bit of a head lock and rustling your hair. You pushed against him but it was futile, and you were stuck until Grayson came back and saved you.

“C’mon, let’s go say hi to mom and get you to a nice bed,” he smiled, putting an arm around your shoulders and leading you inside. You’d only been to the house in Jersey a few times, and it was under renovation, so the finished product was a very welcome sight. It was all light walls and tables with dark finishes, cozy yet bright at the same time, even at night. 

Lisa came around the corner, lighting up when she noticed you were there.

“Y/N! Grayson told me you weren’t gonna be here until tomorrow!” She gave him a bit of a scolding look, which made you laugh.

“That’s on me Li, I got a little too impatient and decide to drive on through,” you explained, accepting the hug she gave you.

“Well you must be exhausted, you go on upstairs and get some rest, we can catch up tomorrow,” she assured you, giving  you another squeeze before letting you go.

You didn’t even try for the boys bedroom - you knew that Grayson had been sleeping in the laundry room. So you headed in that direction, Gray in tow with your duffle bag in hand. As you saw the coziness of the bed, every last bit of energy you had drained from you. The crash was coming, and it was coming soon.

“You ready to sleep?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I really need to shower, I feel disgusting,” you mumbled. Just twenty minutes, and you would be able to sleep. You could do that, for sure. 

“Okay, here I’ll get you a towel and stuff, you remember where it is?” 

“Yep, I’ll be there in a second.” 

You rummaged through your bag, finding your toiletries and some clothes. But when you saw Grayson’s stack of shirts, you couldn’t help but snag one. Everything you’d had at the house had lost it’s scent, and you couldn’t help but breathe it in for a second before heading to the bathroom.

When you got there, Grayson was laying out two towels, and already had his shirt off. You stared for a moment, taking it all in, but even with the view your eyelids were heavy. You were fading, fast, and you had the sudden realization that if you all tried to have reunion sex later, you would probably be so exhausted you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. And you really wanted to enjoy it. 

“Gray,” you said, walking over to him.

“Did you find everything you needed? I’m sure mom has some extra stuff if you need it.”

“No I’m good, I have everything. It’s just-” 

He looked up then, cocking an eyebrow. It took him a minute, but when it clicked you saw him smile softly, coming over to you.

“It’s not about that. I just wanna take care of you, that’s all. I figured you’d be too tired,” he explained.

“I’m sorry baby.”

He just kissed you, hands finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

“No apologies necessary. C’mon, let’s get you clean.” 

You both stripped down the rest of the way and he turned on the shower, which was huge. The tile was white and marble like, and the water pressure made you feel like you were in a spa as you brought your toiletries in. Grayson washed his hair quickly while you let the water run over you, and when he was done you felt his hands find your shoulders, rubbing at the knots he found with his thumbs. You relaxed back into his touch, closing your eyes and resting your back on his chest. 

“Let me get your hair,” he said, reaching behind him to get the shampoo. You didn’t have a care in the world as he worked the suds through your scalp, making sure to get every bit of it before he started to rinse it out. By the time he made it to washing your body you were practically melted, so lost in the relaxation that you weren’t even sure it was real.

“You’re humming,” Grayson teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder after you were rinsed off.

“Am I?” You mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Let’s get you dry before you pass out on me.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he helped you out of the shower, wrapping you up in a towel and kissing your nose. “You should let me do this more often.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, his statement waking you up a bit as you started drying yourself off.

“Well, you are miss independent you know. Miss ‘I can pack up an entire house with nobody’s help’ and ‘I can drive across the country solo, no big deal.’ I like when you let me take care of you sometimes,” he mused, rubbing his towel over his body and hair quickly before pulling on his boxers.

“Does that mean I get a free ride to bed?” You teased, keeping it light hearted even though you were melting at his words.

“Not dripping wet you don’t,” he smiled, taking your towel and running it over your hair, making you giggle. You were sure it looked something like Albert Einstein when he pulled the fabric away, but he kissed you anyways, passing you a shirt, shorts and your undies. You put them all on quickly, your limbs heavy with fatigue.

“Alright, off to bed.” With that, he scooped you up bridal style, carrying you out the door, down the hall and into the laundry room. He sat you down gently on your feet for a moment, pulling the covers back and climbing in, immediately opening his arms for you. 

“I know you’re not tired,” you mumbled, crawling into bed and immediately resting your cheek on his chest. You put one leg over his, wrapping your arms around his bare chest as he pulled you closer to him, burying his face in your hair.

“Doesn’t matter. Not a place in the world I would rather be. Now sleep so I can spoil you like I had planned to tomorrow.”

If you’d had any energy left you would have questioned him, but instead you lulled off to sleep in his arms, more content than you could remember being in a long, long time.