#I wrote 50k words in 19 days

[aaronstveit]

i would loooove to hear more of your director's commentary about deep end! <3 not sure how much you can say without spoiling but did you make a lot of changes from the original draft? and are there any scene that didn't make it into the final fic? thank youuu <3

omg hi anon this question made my entire day <3333 gonna answer beneath a read more as always because when talking about deep end i am this trc meme

okay so firstly! i wrote deep end 3 times. the original draft had a final wordcount of 126,978 words. the middle draft had a final wordcount of 175,065 words. the final draft's wordcount is not finalized yet because i am still editing & still adding one scene to the epilogue, but obviously we've already surpassed the first draft's wordcount, so that's fun.

as you can see, about 50k words were added in the middle draft! there are a lot of reasons for this. chapters 8 & 9, as well as about half of chapter 10, did not exist in the original draft. i added them during rewriting because i felt we hadn't spent enough time with enjolras & cosette.

combeferre and éponine were almost nonexistent in the original draft. not just as a couple, but individually as well. every single grantaire & éponine scene was added in the middle draft, and most of enjolras & combeferre's scenes as well.

i actually didn't cut any full scenes out! there were quite a few though where i started writing a scene, realized it was wrong, and erased what i had written and started over. for instance, this bit in chapter 18:

in the original draft, i tried writing enjolras turning to grantaire at this point and saying, "I think I'm in love with you," before cosette answered the door. obviously, i ended up deciding against this, mostly because i decided the kiss scene would pack more of a punch if enjolras realizes he's in love with grantaire right when he's in the middle of their argument.

i also deleted soooooooooo many arguments. this is probably surprising considering how often they argue in this fic, but at least once a chapter i really had to stop myself and say, okay no this is getting unhealthy. i enjoy writing arguments too much apparently - which is good for writing exr, but only to a certain extent.

originally, grantaire was not going to have a sister. it genuinely did not even occur to me until chapter 11 (which was chapter 8 at the time), but once it did occur to me, i couldn't not do it. his grief plotline became way too dear to me way too quickly.

the biggest changes i made during writing all had to do with reordering events!! originally, karaoke happened somewhere around chapter 8. i ended up moving it wayyyyyyyyy back because i felt like their flirting was out of place so early in the story.

i also moved enjolras' arguments with cosette and grantaire to an earlier point than i originally intended. at first, i thought they were going to happen around the second-to-last chapter, but i moved them forward a lot earlier because i thought more work needed to be done with enjolras.

the chapter that underwent the most changes from the middle draft to the finished draft is chapter 24. obviously i can't say just yet what those changes are, but i'm really really happy with how that chapter turned out and i hope you all will be as well <3

several of my personal favorite scenes in this fic are actually cannibalized from something i tried writing and gave up on a few months ago. marius getting mugged in chapter 4, the hamlet conversation in chapter 7, and enjolras tending to grantaire's broken nose in chapter 14 were all taken from the same abandoned wip.

as for some more random tidbits that i find fun:

a fun fact for everyone is that cosette did not pull the phrase "who has a flag where he should have a heart" out of thin air! she takes this from courfeyrac in chapter 13:

which is why courfeyrac winces when enjolras says it in chapter 19:

also in chapter 19, enjolras means to say that Train to Busan is his favorite horror movie ending. i didn't just choose that because i love that movie (although i really really do) but because. well. i'm not going to spoil the ending for you if you haven't seen it, but... it was very deliberate is all i'm saying.

i really cannot overstate how much of this fic only exists because of cossette notebookmusical. for starters, i only even attempted writing it because she said "jamie if you don't write this." she also got to spend months listening to me bitch about it and receiving so many horrible snippets from the original draft so coco, if you're reading this, thank you from the very bottom of my heart 🫶🏻

more specifically, the entire beginning sequence of chapter 17 with grantaire staying the night at enjolras' apartment was inspired by cossette! i was asking her for situations to put the blond man in and one of her ideas was that he loses his keys. so everyone say thank you cossette!

also the bit in chapter 19 where enjolras thinks about combeferre a psychology minor is the worst thing to ever happen to you was added after i said something to cossette and she said something along the lines of, "would you like to elaborate on that?"

the ending bit of chapter 23 is also inspired by and written for cossette. you'll see what i mean in a few weeks.

there are a lot more bits and pieces inspired by things that cossette has said and done, or added just to make her laugh, but if i listed all of them i would be here forever. just know that this entire fic is cocoservice and it is only because of cossette that it exists at all <333333

there is also a collection of scenes i'm considering writing as "bonus content" for when the fic is fully posted - mostly scenes that already exist, but from another point of view, and a few that are only mentioned in passing.

okay i'm cutting myself off now because this is a lot of yapping even for me but you may always ask more if you're so inclined <3333 thank you sm for asking i had so much fun answering this! i really can't tell you how much it means to me not only that you're not only reading but also enjoying it so much that you're asking about it like... this is literally a fic writer's DREAM. thank you so so so much <3333

[itwoodbeprefect]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

i wanted to take a moment to reflect on the past year and bring it to a nice close, so i took to tumblr search and google to see if there was some sort of tag game going around. i frankensteined this list of questions from a few different versions of what was probably originally the same thing, but the nature of The Website of course makes it impossible to locate an original, so this is me just sort of, well, joining the fun by starting a parallel thread.

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Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 73,947, but this is a little deceptive because all the words for A flip-flop state of mind currently get counted for 2023, so it's probably something closer to 45-50k

fics posted: 21, which will eventually go down to 19 when i update the two multi-chapter works and they get sorted into the new year

first fic: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Throuple [Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)]

last fic: Bases loaded, do your dance [h50]

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Ships and Fandoms ⚓

ao3 tells me the following:

Starsky & Hutch (8)

Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (7)

Ted Lasso (TV) (2)

Stargate Atlantis (1)

Hard Core Logo (1996) (1)

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) (1)

Top Gun (Movies) (1)

and for each of those it's probably the ship you most expect if you know the thing (and the way fandom works), except maybe ted lasso (both fics are keeley/roy/jamie) and sga (a gen team fic, no ships).

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Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

no big surprises here. ted lasso was easily the biggest fandom i've written for this year (not to mention that these two fics had the good fortune of being posted very soon after the finale), followed by h50 long before s&h comes on the scene:

How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) [ted lasso]

Honey honey, how you thrill me (Honey honey, nearly kill me) [ted lasso]

A flip-flop state of mind [h50]

Oh, kiss me like the final meal (Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight) [h50]

Something old, something new [h50]

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Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

these are in no particular order!

3 AM, the time when most people die - this is a hard core logo (1996 canadian movie) fic which just kind of Happened, and it hung around on ao3 for a solid few days in a 0 kudos 10 hits sort of state, which had me giggling every time i thought about it. 2023 goal of writing for me, myself & i achieved (0 kudos on a fic)! ✅ (that said, it does also bring me great joy to see that the number is upwards of zero now. lovely to see an obscure thing find its audience. <3)

Your hands in my back pockets - a starsky/hutch fic, and in some ways the opposite to the previous one. i had a "this is alright" sort of feeling about it when i hit post, and the (lovely! very flattering!) way people responded to it surprised me somewhat. reading it back now, i don't know what bothered me about it at first - it's nice, it flows, it's all good! plus, i really like the title. it's a good s/h title.

POV: It’s a lovely day, you’re sipping a refreshing cold drink on your 70s apartment balcony, and the upstairs neighbor who always waters the sago palm outside your front door when you forget about it has that one friend over and his windows wide open. - this is a starsky/hutch all dialogue fic, and it was just plain fun! very easy to write, thankfully not hard to read, and the title is completely ridiculous in a way that still gives me a kick.

How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck) - can't not mention this one, i think. it's the roy/jamie/keeley ted lasso fic i wrote in record time (for me), and i had a blast doing that and i think that's palpable in the end result. i have warm memories of this!

Oh, kiss me like the final meal (Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight) - h50! steve/danny! they'd gotten swamped by all the starsky/hutch in 2022, but they made a minor comeback this past year. and again, this fic was just plain fun - a scene that really needed the mcdanno rewrite, and i'm glad it happened, and that it decided to flow so smoothly it grew twice as long as intended. the gag with the gun is still good, the banter works, and i like "it tastes like a laugh".

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Fandom Fic Events 🤝

my knee-jerk first thought was none, which would have been a blatant lie for this year! i wrote a fic for the SHareCon (starsky/hutch con) zine, which is currently still zine-only but will appear on ao3 at some point in the future, and i also wrote something for this year's Starsky & Hutch Advent Calendar, which can be found here (which will also lead you to all the other lovely advent calendar gifts of 2023 and previous years!). neither of these things would have happened if starsky & hutch fandom hadn't been such a warm, welcoming, unbelievably well-organized space. <3

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Projects for 2024 👀

oh god. oh god i have so many things on the grill.

the end of 2023 was a stretch of time where i did write some, and at times even a very decent amount, but nothing seemed to be getting finished - which was annoying for a bit, and then sort of petered out into oh well. it'll happen, eventually, when it wants to. which means that currently i have a whole bunch of nearly finished things for a whole bunch of fandoms:

bad buddy - should this be top of the list? who knows. but oh, i need to write something for this - i have to, i need to, you know. it's just that it's turning out to be more of a challenge than most new things i start writing for, because i do feel i have a reasonable grip on the characters, but the fact that it's a thai series which i'm only consuming through fan-generated subtitles is clashing with some of the fundamentals of how i usually write fic, as it turns out. usually i watch a thing and then mimic character voices to write a section of (probably mostly, maybe only) dialogue, which then gets filled out with descriptions and an actual setting later on. the problem with bad buddy is that i love, love subtitles, and i love, love the people who write them, but they do (understandably! naturally!) lead to some very clunky english at times, and i just can't write things like "are you chickened out, fierce eyes". i cannot. which means i need to half-invent the right english character voice (and how that blends with the little i know of thai speaking patterns and customs), which takes away the thing i usually lean on way more heavily than i previously realized i did, so. it's a journey! it's an experiment! i'm learning things! i'm making choices! and i'm pumped about it but it's also REALLY slowing down the bad buddy fic production.

starsky & hutch - many things are happening! many many! they're just happening slowly. there's one particular fic about starsky and hutch comfortably out at a party and hutch fielding questions about names which has been 98% done for a month or two, but i need one (1) more connective paragraph to wrap things up, and apparently i'm in no hurry. and i love that for me, at the same time as i'm tempted to flick my brain and go Do It. Just Do It. oh god, and then there's a much older comedy fic stuck in close to the same situation only there it's 95% and the missing part is the end, which is at least a little more serious, and there are. i think literally a dozen probably. things that are cooking, bubbling, making interesting little noises. it's yet to be seen which of those turn out tasty.

h50 - there are some shorter wips here that have great potential to go somewhere, but mostly i want to finally (finally!) wrap up a flip-flop state of mind, which only needs finishing touches (albeit a bunch of them) on the final chapter, and then maybe 200 more words for the short epilogue to round things out. i had somewhat hoped to get that done before the new year, but it didn't work out that way, and i'm at peace with it - the longer this fic takes, the more comical my initial estimate of "i can probably get this done within the month" becomes. and after that's done, i can refocus my energy on Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola, another ill-fated plan which i Will see through (while also enjoying myself), dammit, but i think for that one i'll need to pre-write the whole thing before i start posting again or i'll just keep going in circles.

nashville - it's been a while since my rewatch, so i'm not sure it will ever really come together, but i have a fun little 5+1 will/gunnar thing which lives half in a google docs file and half in my heart. could be nice!

sga - there's One Fic that's near done and has a few turns of phrase in it that keep making me go "oh, this might be worth finishing, actually" every time i return to it, but i think i'll need to let that happen a few more times before we actually get there. there's also a light and comedy-ish aro/ace john fic (heavily featuring john&rodney and john&team) on a low boil. i think that one might need to wait for me to rewatch the show at some point so i'm correctly immersed in the Vibes of it all, but it's very dear to me, so it still gets a permanent In Progress label.

due south - there's one particular thing that i might get back to? maybe. it could happen. @redgoldblue's dedicated live reporting on their due south watch, as well as their ds fic, did stir something in my brain.

other - there's literally two paragraphs of hard core logo fic kicking around in my notes which might turn into something some day. (when i started writing 3AM those new words were intended to blend with the two existing paragraphs, but they never did.) there's some ted lasso that can still be considered wip, but my ted lasso fic moment burned bright and short, it seems, though it's nice to know the framework is there if i ever do a rewatch. oh man, and there's a weird homoerotic over the top (because that's what this canon is) tango & cash wip which i hope will make it across the finish line some day, but i wouldn't be surprised if in the end that's, like. coming to an ao3 page near you soon! in 2026.

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Tagging ✨

tag any number of people you want as far as i'm concerned (which can be zero! that's a valid number), but i haven't spotted this going around in my fandom circles yet, so i'll shoot for some good coverage: @redgoldblue @luredin @actingcamplibrarian @stephmcx @pterawaters @the-arya-silvertongue @logicgunn @incognito-insomniac @dedkake @spaceradars @spurious @sparrowsarus @flownwrong @theroseandthebeast @jimmyandthegiraffes @soleadita @ivycross @murphyhatesme @bgharison @thekristen999 @cowandcalf @msbeeinmybonnet @ruztyryan and you, reading this. i fully tagged myself to do this, so please don't feel shy about doing the same! i really do want to read your answers, if you feel like giving them.

obviously there's no pressure, and also feel free to modify this any way you want! give different stats, list top 5 by hits instead of kudos, name just one favorite fic, add in fics you only posted to tumblr rather than ao3, skip a category or invent a new one or throw the whole thing out and only reflect on a single piece of writing in more detail - it's all fair game, as long as it suits you.

[stealingyourbones]

Ask the writer ask game! Tagged by @gremlin-bot

1.) how many works do you have on ao3?

8!

2.) what’s your total ao3 word count?

50k!

3.) what fandoms do you write for?

Primarily DPxDC but I enjoy writing DC and I greatly enjoy writing D&D campaigns!

4.) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Falling in Love (In the Most Literal Sense)

Short DPxDC Prompts

I've Grown a Mouth So Sharp and Cruel (It's All That I Can Give To You)

What the Hell?! (UP FOR ADOPTION)

Dream of a Peaceful Slumber

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I’m simply too busy with my tumblr to respond to people on ao3. If I try to focus on more than one website at a time I’ll lose my mind 😅. I promise I Look at each and every one!

6.) what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

There’s a sander sides fic i wrote like 8 years ago that had all of the sides get slowly and very brutally murdered one by one in hella graphic detail. I was trying to experiment with descriptors and visuals at that time. Definitely that one. I don’t think it’s on ao3 but it’s somewhere on my old Wattpad account

7.) what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely Falling In Love (In The Most Literal Sense) or an unpublished eldritch smut horror DeadOnMain fic that’s forever staying in WIP hell. Falling In Love first and foremost has an ending, secondly they get along and it’s cute :)

8.) do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I occasionally get questions or criticism on my tumblr but that’s either advice or someone wanting answers and that isn’t hate.

9.) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have tried my hand at smut before. Mostly smutty scenes with kinda sorta fade to black, solely because I’m terrible at painting a mental picture for the reader so it always flows terribly. I’ve written that eldritch DeadOnMain thing as I said previously, and some of Jason’s matches Malone persona OF ideas.

10.) do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one?

Somewhere in my WIPs there is a homestuck AU DPxDC fic where DP kids are the humans and DC folks (primarily the teen titans) are the trolls. Definitely that one.

11.) have you ever had a fic stolen?

No fics but I’ve been sent asks that are word for word one of my prompts. I just delete those and go on with my day. Idk I don’t have a tiktok and someone’s probably imitating me on there with my prompts so possibly????

12.) have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13.) have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes!! I’ve Grown A Mouth So Sharp And Cruel (It’s All That I Can Give To You My Dear) (eventually I’ll get around to working on it I have so much stuff going on like preparing to move and finals creeping up aUGH)

14.) what’s your all time fav ship?

Ooooo It’s a solid tie between Kon/Tim and Dave/Karkat. One is my current favorite and the other is one that’s been my favorite ship for the longest time.

15.) what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a WIP in my files that’s a DPxDC Dash/Danny fic where Dash is a bomb disposal tech and Danny just moved into Gotham. I have the entire outline written and almost a solid chapter done but I heavily doubt I’ll have the motivation to touch it again.

16.) what are your writing strengths?

I don’t think I have any, (I haven’t written a full length fic in so long I can’t really tell 😅) but I’m very good at setting tone. Idk what do y’all think?

17.) writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. 100% dialogue. It always feels clunky and unconversational whenever I read it back. I swear the second I start writing talking I forget how conversations work.

18.) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I’d probably throw a simple word here in there of the other language if I’m writing a bilingual speaker or ask a pal to help me with translations because I only know English and I know damn well that friends are better translators than google.

19.) first fandom you wrote for?

Sander Sides! I wrote a solid 500ish prompts for that fandom and like 70k worth of fics. It was what got me into writing and for that I’m so very glad.

20.) Fav fic you’ve ever written?

Definitely my Batman mermaid au. I love it to bits and I’m so proud of the designs and I’m always kinda sad that I’m the only one as enthused about this work as I am. None the less I reread it at least every 3 months and it always makes me smile doing so.

Ooo who to tag… @chromatographic @halfagone @susiron

[goodluckclove]

Writer ask game, let's go. 10, 19, 38, and 39 please c:<

Shit. Oh shit, oh fuck.

Okay yeah let's do this, Mushy.

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

I mean I definitely used to. I've said before that I got my start in National Novel Writing in a Month, or NaNoWriMo, where you write 50k words in 30 days. The org has since proven itself to be less than reputable with its recent scandal, but I still stand by the belief that endurance sprints like that are a great way to get the muscle formed to write long-form projects. And you can just do it too, you don't need the backing of a semi-scammy nonprofit.

But now? Not really. I kind of set goals to keep work moving. I'll be like hope I finish editing by the end of this week. But I very rarely make it a hard deadline with actual...I don't know. Stakes? My brain don't work like that.

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

I stand by the methodology of giving yourself a little reward after writing sessions, although at this point I space mine out more than I would suggest newer writers to. For me this is usually a fun drink or nice little baked good - I'm especially fond of what I refer to as a medium-fancy cake. Something with mousse. But it can be anything really.

Small breaks also help, although I am less good at keeping up with that. I actually haven't taken a full day off in like three weeks but shh don't tell anyone. I'm also very fond of reading over what I've already written and just enjoying it. Or reading books that relate to my character's interests - I'm reading a very interesting book on bird lore that I know Edgar from Songbird Elegies would love.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

My weirdest play is probably Naked Lunch: The Musical, which follows a happy-go-lucky, classic musical lover who gets roped into adapting the essentially grindhouse experimental William S. Burroughs novel into a musical and goes a little insane in the process. He imagines himself befriending the ghost of William S. Burroughs, and the ghosts convinces him that to adapt his work properly he needs to do a lot of drugs and have a lot of gay sex, both of which go very poorly. I think Lin Manuel Miranda is mentioned as an unseen side character that my protagonist sees in the audience and threatens to beat up?

And my weirdest novel turned play is Bloodletting, which is based from a dream I had when I was detoxing off of weed - I was like addicted, not a casual stoner. I essentially dreamt that someone made me drink their blood and the blood got me high again, and from that point I developed a sort of sci-fi world where street drugs are so potent that they turn the blood of addicts into a new intoxicant that they can then sell as its own drug. I think they can also sell their blood to major medical organizations and have it used in pharmaceuticals. I still like this concept and might reuse it since I can't find the finished play it turned into.

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

Bloodletting had a romantic couple made up of a drug dealer and the AI house he was squatting in. My second novel had a leitmotif of the characters experiencing a feeling of "static" in their heads that I later on made into a sentient side character. I think I wrote a short play with a cannibalistic Guy Fieri. I started writing another play based around Sonic the Hedgehog where it was planned for Shadow to non-ironically become a rabbi, but frankly if you consider his character I do not think that's too far from canon.

I'm still percolating a project to do either alongside or after Songbird that's like Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City but with an all-robot cast. And the main character eventually transitions from a human-passing robot to some form of non-human looking machine and is much happier for it. Which I'm excited to put to paper.

[junemermaid]

3,5,11, and 19 for ao3 wrapped!

Hello hi! 🧡

3) What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Answered here!

5) What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Huh. I actually think I didn't have a lot of expectations this year. I went into several new fandoms and wrote mainly triads after years of mostly writing a two-person juggernaut ship, so I knew there'd be less feedback in absolute terms.

That said, I am tickled that the floating clouds, no resting place (MLC, difanghua) keeps finding new readers. Apparently there was still a niche to fill with the basic "here's what I think happened immediately after the show" scenario, even when the show's been out for over a year.

11) What work took you the longest to write?

Well, I'm still writing several of them. Overall, and the days are bright red (MLC, difanghua) took me about a month of fairly intensive writing. There is also an MLC longfic I've been chipping away at, none of it is posted yet but in terms of brainspace it has occupied me the most, I think. There are some snippets of it here, though.

19) What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Ahhhh, I have to answer with two because they're having, well, not a brawl but a heated debate in my brain right now.

a) Li Lianhua, Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng of Mysterious Lotus Casebook, who I've written almost 50k words about but I am not nearly done. This ship got me out of a writing slump (well, I do think NiF paved the way), and I have at least the longfic and then whatever other bits are scattered around in my notebooks.

b) Davrin, Neve Gallus and Lucanis Dellamorte of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, who consumed me enough that @neekerbreeker and I now have a shared fic universe for the express purpose of making this tiny threesome happen. We started the ao3 tag. I have about 30 pages of notes and outlines for that fic series now. So, the only way is forward.

ao3 wrapped

[a-pale-azure-moon]

WIP Wednesday

It's done.

There will be revisions and tweaks to make between now and when I post it in a few days, but I have finished the final chapter of Someday We'll Shine Together. At long last, it is complete.

I'm struggling to distill all of my emotions into words at the moment. This fic has been a part of my life for about three years now. I'm feeling accomplished and proud of myself for really and truly finishing it despite the fact that when I first had the idea, I was convinced this was another of those fleeting inspirational flashes that would never go anywhere and would forever languish in my WIP folder. I got very attached to this story in the process of creating it, and I got even more attached to it when it was one of the things that helped see me through a very difficult time in my personal life. As such, I'm also grieving that it's over and that I now must let it go. Sure, it'll always exist for me to revisit whenever I want, but that feeling is never the same as the one derived from actively working on it.

While I'm still digesting all of these emotions, here's a rough timeline and some background of the fic's development, so you can all see how I finally got to this point. This is pretty personal too, because the two are irrevocably intertwined. (Content warning: death/grief)

Summer 2020: Initial inspiration hits after I rewatched Utena during COVID lockdown.

Fall 2020: Brainworms are on-and-off active, writing short blurbs in a Google doc when they come to me, but there's no true shape to the whole plot yet, it’s just random scenes. It's more or less still strictly a 3H-esque retelling of Utena, and I'm not expecting anything to actually come of these blurbs.

Winter 2020: More blurbs trickle in here and there. The story in my head is starting to divert more drastically from the show.

February 19, 2021: Draft of the pivotal scene at the end of Chapter 15 written. I remember the specific day for this because I wrote it the same day we put down our dog, Clancy. (Writing emotional scenes often helps me process my own emotions.)

April 11, 2021: Creation of my dedicated author's notes file to keep track of the various threads and ideas I'd come up with, especially the backstory about Faerghus and how Dimitri became the Lion Prince. I filled it in like an extended summary or wikipedia entry about the 'verse and the overall plot of the story. I jotted a lot of stuff down between April and June as the brainworms really got to work again.

Summer 2021: I'm starting to entertain the idea of actually seeing this project through. Chapters 1 and 2 are drafted over the summer months, but I hit a block and the self doubt comes roaring right in to deter me.  A LARGE part of my struggle with getting this fic out of development hell was me being unable to get out of my own way.  Every stumbling block I hit (especially early on) was an invitation for my inner critic to resume browbeating me into giving up this “stupid” idea.

September 2021: I finally make up my mind that I'm really going to do this, and I spend the next six weeks ironing out the bumps in the plot and making a chapter-by-chapter outline highlighting the key scenes/plot points/character beats within each one. I organized the various blurbs I had into chronological order and put them under the correct chapter headings. I also started thinking of the best way to get myself to see this project through, as well as what would be a realistic timetable for its completion. I estimated that the final length of the whole thing would be around 350 pages or roughly 150K words. (This is hilarious to me in hindsight.  I severely underestimated the scope of this fic!)

November 2021: I try to do the NaNoWriMo challenge (50K words in a month) to draft as much of the fic as I can. I "only" produce about 35K words in the end, but it was enough to draft Chapters 3 and 4 and write at least one decent-sized blurb within each of all of the remaining chapters.

December 2021: I took a short hiatus from working on SWST to finish Beneath the Ethereal Moon. When that's done, I went over my outline yet again to refine it further and then cleaned up my draft of Chapter 1 with an eye on posting it after right after New Year's. I determined that posting (and writing) one chapter per month should be doable, especially since I have a generous buffer to start with.

January 2022: I get a bad case of cold feet/anxiety and don't post Chapter 1. I'm having trouble getting a feel for Chapter 5 and fail to finish it before the end of the month. (This naturally doesn't help alleviate my self-doubt or silence my very loud inner critic.)

February 2022: Cold feet strike again and I fail to post Chapter 1 a second time. I'm still stuck on Chapter 5 (though I've at least made some progress), and while I'm extremely aware that I'm being my own worst enemy, that doesn't make it any easier to beat back old habits.

March 2, 2022: In the wee hours of the night (it was after midnight), I finally posted Chapter 1 and went straight to bed after. I slept terribly of course, haha.

I wish I could say "and you know the rest from here," but that's not true. Posting Chapter 1 was a huge mental hurdle cleared, but there were other things going on behind the scenes that almost derailed this project for good. The timing was such that if I were more prone to hubris, I'd think that the universe itself was testing my resolve. Or possibly mocking me.

On March 3, 2022 (yes, the day after I posted Chapter 1), my father was admitted to the hospital with a debilitating pain in his lower back. Initially, we thought it might be a flare up of his sciatica or maybe something like a kidney stone, but the truth was far worse. What he had was a spinal epidural abscess caused by a bacterial infection in his blood. He was transported to the ICU of a larger (further away) hospital once the severity of his condition was discovered, and he was pumped full of massive doses of antibiotics. Thanks to that, he stabilized, but what followed after was a long period of uncertainty as he would start to make gains only to suffer a setback. Even once the infection and his pain level were under control, he'd been so severely sick that the bacteria had ravaged his various body systems, leading to issues with his kidneys and his heart.

For 91 days, my family and I were stuck on a wretched rollercoaster of getting hopeful (he was transferred to a rehab facility three different times when it looked like he was improving) and then having our hopes dashed when something would happen that would see him sent back to the hospital (falling out of bed, chest pains, difficulty breathing). Hope began to fade in mid May when he was transferred back to the ICU due to diastolic heart failure, which caused his lungs to fill up with fluid. They tapped his lungs thrice, removing at least a liter of fluid each time, but they kept filling up again despite all the diuretics the doctors were giving him. Then his kidneys began to shut down too. We kept hoping right until the end, but he passed away on June 1, 2022, the day before what would've been his and my mother's 49th wedding anniversary.

(Proof that real life can be even crueler than fiction.)

I was only able to continue updating SWST while my father was sick because of that buffer I'd had, and I very nearly deleted the story from AO3 altogether after he died. I remember ruminating about how futile it was to continue with this project; I'd written almost nothing while he was sick, so my buffer was now gone and I questioned whether or not I'd be able to write, let alone write consistently, with the promised months of grief and general upheaval ahead. Even writing a story that I had, to that point, been passionate about felt utterly pointless.

It was strange though. I woke up on June 2nd thinking that maybe I should go ahead and post chapter 4 anyway, since it was already done and it was one of the chapters I particularly liked. So I did. And in the following days, we had my father's funeral and a part of me felt like I could breathe again. I was grieving yes, but the constant daily stress and uncertainty from his illness was gone, and I think that freed my creative drive to start working again. I remember the first day I sat back down at my computer with the intention to write and how much better I felt in general after I got some words onto the screen.

It's hella ironic that I planned SWST with grief and loss as major themes and it turned out I'd be processing such things myself while writing most of it. I know my own grief affected the story, though it's impossible to say to what degree; I get a lot of catharsis in general from writing emotional scenes, so I tend to go hard on them regardless. It didn't change the plot or direction of the story at all, since that was already planned, but it's certainly safe to say that I channeled a lot of my own feelings into some of the most intense moments. The ending of Chapter 9 stands out in particular as something that felt like it was coming straight out of my own heart.

Even on the hard days when I was feeling too overwhelmed and/or the words just weren’t coming, this story gave me a reason to keep going.  Just keeping the goal in mind and reasserting my resolve to be consistent and see this project through to the end helped me cope.  It both kept me grounded and helped me process what I was going through and it gave me something to look forward to when I uploaded each chapter and anxiously waited to see what the readers would think.

I started this fic as a means of testing myself: testing my commitment to writing consistently, to finishing a long-term project, and to getting over at least some of the many, MANY mental hurdles that have held me back from writing for way too long.  I knew that this story would always be near and dear to me if I managed to finish it, but it became even more precious than I ever could’ve imagined back in 2020.  It hurts that I must say goodbye to it, but…it’s forever mine.  I can say with my whole chest that I MADE THIS THING and I’m so very proud of it! <3

[filet-o-feelings]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @jesuisici33 @stereopticons and @hippolotamus and @smblmn thanks! 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

252,519

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Schitt’s Creek

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everything's Too Cold... But You're So Hot

Further North

Easy to talk to

best of the century

Like They Handed Me My Life, For the First Time it Felt Right

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love interacting with people in the fandom (and the one time someone outside of the fandom came across my cloudberries fic)! If someone took the time to comment on my fic of course I want to thank them, I appreciate it so much!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty ending? I don't know her. Maybe please don't let me disappear because it's Patrick's thoughts after the barbecue and the fic ends before they get back together, even though we all know it's going to work out. Typically I stick with happy endings for these boys.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What is the measure of happiest, they all end happy? Um maybe Mistakes We Knew We Were Making because they had to do a lot of work to get there?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet, thankfully

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally, but it's usually pretty mild and mostly loaded with feelings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, no crossovers, unless you count 20+ years ago when I wrote good charlotte/mest fic over on livejournal lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, but that'd be amazing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nothing that's been completed, but I have a long abandoned wip @treluna4 and I started like a year and a half ago

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

David/Patrick

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmm I really loved the collab idea with @treluna4 so I'd love to finish it, but I don't think it's going to happen. We had a lot of fun brainstorming it though! Maybe one day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Introspection and building up a slow burn, probably

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to skip the descriptors and move too quickly, but I think I've been improving a bit (or I never would have made it to 50k in Library boy!)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I never have, but if the fic called for it I'd want to find someone who could accurately check it for me before posting.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Good Charlotte

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

might be recency bias, but Library Boy is the fic I've probably worked the hardest on and I really, really love it. I also love my kinda weirder fics like Rescue Mission and the devil wears mid-range denim

I'm not sure who's done this or been tagged but if you want to play I'll tag @statueinthestonetoo @treluna4 @beaiola @tyfinn @wordthieve @jamilas-pen and anyone else who wants to!

[renmackree]

20 Questions for fic writers

I was tagged by the writing goddess @dear-massacre

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23 works, one WIP (and another coming soon)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

563,018 - I took a hiatus for about 10 years and now coming back

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Teen Wolf right now, but previously - Harry Potter, Avengers/Marvel, Legend of Zelda, and back in the day a Battle Royale one

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm only going to use the fics from this year because my 2013 stuff is best left there.

part-time soulmate, full-time problem (Sterek, 27k. Explicit. Fake Relationships & Derek in a Kilt)

Behind the Screen (Sterek, 23k. Explicit. Derek is a CEO who watches Camboys. Stiles is that Camboy.)

Werewolves at Twilight (Sterek, 50k. Explicit. Twilight but Teen Wolf.)

The Itch (Sterek, 36k. Explicit. WIP. Stiles solves a murder mystery while being Dominated by someone online)

Full Moon (Sterek, 60k. Explicit. New Moon but Teen Wolf.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to as much as possible, but I always just don't know how to respond because if you leave a comment on my fic, I run to show my husband and just giggle the whole day.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Honestly, way back, I wrote Under my Skin, and that one originally had an unhappy ending with an epilogue, but I changed it mid-way. The Itch is probably because it's a WIP I have no idea when I'll get to finish it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Either Eclipse of the Dawn or Part-time soulmate.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yup 👍🏻

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

All sorts of smut, but Knotting non-ABO is my favorite.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Eclipse of the Dawn is a major crossover, but I have always liked to do Buffy/Teen Wolf in some capacity.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, oh absolutely yes. but it was like, back in the Fanfiction.net era of life

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe someone did, but once more fanfiction.net era

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a sister fic for someone, but co-writing fics haven't been on my radar. I would LOVE to, though, especially now that I'm getting into my art again.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sterek's up there in the forever column so check that box

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I will finish my only WIP soon, I have feelings that it will take time, but it will be done. I don't post unless I'm committed.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told my banter and character dialogue make people laugh, so I think I am strong in that. Honestly, I write for myself, and if everyone likes it, I'm here for it!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Keeping things short. Also, I would say I'm a bit simplistic in my word choices so if y'all are looking for Purple prose with gratuitous romanticism, that's not me

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I write languages I know and languages I speak - I try to keep it contained to terms of endearment or spells in Latin. My next fic coming does have Icelandic in it, but I try to keep it to a minimum.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Chronicles of Narnia, but first published fandom was Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I wrote them all to my tastes, but I think I'm really proud of the Moonlight Saga. It was three months of intense writing, and it proved that I could write over 180K in a summer while my life was falling apart. It means a lot to me that I had the gumption.

low pressure, not required, only if you're feeling it: @quackquackcey, @arver7, @leodabinchy, @handsofred

[oyprongs]

20 questions for fic writers

thank u @isahorcrux for tagging me !

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

85,062 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i now only write for HP and just jily, but i used to write lucaya from girl meets world lmaoo

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

this is such a weird order to me but: i would still be on my feet, a slip of the thumb, as it always was (it always was, it always was) [lol], stage fright, and then i love you much (most beautiful darling) and spare the rest for me are tied

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to!! especially if someone took the time to write a really nice or long one. i like for people to know i appreciate it!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think the only fic i have with an angsty ending is "i love you much (most beautiful darling)" because it's canon jily until their death. for some reason i wanted to do that when i was 18 idk

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably barry, bond, and the blues or a slip of the thumb, just because they were pretty much all fluff beginning to end

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no i don't think i ever have. i genuinely don't think people care enough to lmao

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

i have but only like a scene or so, and it's all fairly mild except for maybe one or two explicit words lol. i have other stuff in the works but haven't touched it in ages

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nope and i don't intend to. they just don't really interest me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nop!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

someone asked to translate an old lucaya fic into russian but idk if they ever did lol

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but i would! i just think i'd be terrible at cowriting because i'm sooo slow

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

oh god. i think literati and jily are tired for me, just from their sheer staying power in my heart + how frequently i go through periods of obsession with them

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ugh. my people we meet on vacation au "let's fall apart and start again" that i literally only have the prologue posted for. one of these days u guys......

16. What are your writing strengths?

ummm i think dialogue! at least that's usually what i start with and then try to build around.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

isa said finishing things and that is so true. i also would say inner monologues

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

omg it scares me to death i have too much anxiety about getting it completely wrong

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

well technically harry potter if u count my 7 yo fanfiction, but officially it would be gmw/lucaya

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

in terms of jily, i do really like "let's fall apart and start again" and "stage fright", but is it crazy if i say im actually still proud of my 17yo self writing like 50k of two disney characters jsdfkj a

ok as usual im sure all my ct discord friends have been tagged but whatever @sunshinemarauder @possessingtheproperspirit @emeralddoeadeer

[boltlightning]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the wonderful @starsuncounted; thank you muchly <3

1. how many total works do you have on ao3? 54!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 362,814. oy vey

3. what fandoms do you write for? these days, potc and final fantasy and assassin's creed now and then, though i generally write for whatever grabs my attention. remember when i wrote a fallout fic? wild

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? oh dear. let’s see:

a house, a hearth, a (s)holmes — the great ace attorney, 6k. a collection of missing scenes about iris watson and her silly little family.

good company — fullmetal alchemist, 9k. pre-canon, roy mustang recruits people for his team. (i wrote this when i was 19 and there's still a lot i like about it, but boy is it humbling to reread.)

benchfellows — final fantasy vii remake, >1k. a drabble about cloud and aerith fighting in the wall market colosseum.

heart & home — fullmetal alchemist, 5k. roy and riza visits roy's home both pre-ishval and post-canon.

sun hits the water — potc, 8k. james and elizabeth get married after the fact, and fall in love some. at the time of writing this post it's got these beautiful round numbers i am SO pleased

5. do you respond to comments? almost certainly. sometimes i won't on really old pieces or comments that don't really necessitate a reply, but i do my best :—)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i trend more bittersweet than angsty; o sleeper (ff7, cloud/aerith) is one of the only ones i'd classify as TRULY angsty, everything else ends much higher.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? showing their versatility: slowly (ff7, also cloud/aerith) ends a little bittersweetly but the climax of this fic remains the sappiest, gushiest thing i've ever written

8. do you get hate on fics? i don't think i've gotten hate since the ff.net days and i'm grateful for it

9. do you write smut? a little, but nothing wild or worth posting. otherwise we're always fading to black or describing sex vaguely babey

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? it's not my forte, per se, but the potc/temeraire universe is over 50k words and still will not let me go, so you could say i've dabbled.

11. have you had a fic stolen? / 12. have you had a fic translated? / 13. have you ever co-written a fic? no to all the above 🤪 (or...at least i hope, in the case of 11)

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? 8-year-old me was really onto something when she latched onto cloud/aerith with passion unrivaled to be honest. there is no use denying it

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have been working on a written version of the trespasser DLC for one of my dragon age characters for like.............three years now and it will never evolved past the five scenes i have scribbled down i'm afraid. the quarantine brainrot was real but it did not last

16. what are your writing strengths? i like to fancy myself good at description! and i'm very particular about flow and tone. there's nothing i won't do to maintain tone, even if it hurts to cut segments that don't fit

17. what are your writing weaknesses? alas, describing shit well means that i am terrible at stepping back and letting a scene breathe. i feel the need to explain stuff that doesn't need it, to my own detriment. and lately i just Cannot thread the needle with any transitions between scenes. someone come cure my yips it's extremely annoying balking at this

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? it CAN work but the only time i'm ever using it is if 1) i know someone who speaks the language, so i'm not making an ass of myself, or 2) it adds to the confusion of a scene in a meaningful way. rarely does it come up and rarely do i employ it

19. first fandom you wrote for? i'm sure it was kingdom hearts. the more things change, etc.

20. favorite fic you've written? the aforementioned potc/temeraire crossover aside...i could play coy here, but you KNOW it's steadfast & dependable (6k, potc, norribeth. but. it's complicated). she is my beautiful girlfriend and the concept continues to compel me on rereads

tagging @johnbly @thesumdancekid @graysongraysoff @antique-romantic if you're feelin it??? and also 🫵 you, the girl reading this

[tinycupcakesstuff]

Gonna jump into my time machine and do one of these!

1. Share a song that makes you think of - Celine Dion “I drove all night” is part of the soundtrack of my Eric/Sam origins fic when after having a big fight, Sam drives all night to rescue Eric from his family after he comes out disastrously when he returns home for his fathers funeral.

2. Do you read/reread your own fics? Yes, my WIPs.

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? I’m enjoying my WIPs, my pre movie and during movie fics are my babies.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 2-3

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? I started it, but may not post…a decades post movie fic where Sam convinces Eric to watch Fellow Travelers and he just totally loses it and adult Scot comes home to find eric a sobbing distraught mess and thinks someone had died only yo find out a Eric is in his feelings about Hawk and Tim and yells at him calling him snd *ass*hole.

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? Yes all BwS fic on repeat in perpetuity.

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? So many.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on? A Eric/Sam origin story pre movie with goal of 80k words, at 50k. I have a during movie into immediate post movie fic jm 30k words into.

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! Not every day but I think about writing every day.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? Never published 🥴

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? No. I live in silence.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! NA

13. How much planning do you do before writing? Lots of thinking of the scenes. I need to know what’s happening then write it down.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? Omg yes…TV series. Multiple seasons. Lots of story to tell.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? Still working on title for my premo is fic but my other one is a line from the film.

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? When it’s right. Can be at any point.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? Omg, well I’m a die hard hockey fan now. #Leafsforever

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Eric never knew he had a type, but this has to be it. Physically, Sam was a very handsome man but it was beyond that to the very dignified way he carried himself at all times.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

Eric stared up at a group of men, the fluorescent lights created a halo effect around them. Instead of angelic and comforting, the effect was surreal. He suddenly felt frightened. 

By the tense posture and squared jaw he could immediately discern one of the figures as his coach, Bob Axelrod. Eric was careful not reveal any sign of fear or emotion on his face. There was also dad, a doctor, and a younger man he didn’t recognize. He shook his head in a lame attempt to collect himself. The feelings of fear and confusion crested into a wave of anger. 

His Dad spoke first. “It’s about time you woke up.” He and Axelrod were cut from the same cloth. Men hardened by their meager circumstances they could never quite overcome. In his father’s case, he was stuck running the family business and never got to live out his dream of being a hockey player. That was Eric’s job. Axelrod was just born angry and hateful, and had his own middling NHL career to stand on. They were equally triggered by any demonstration of humanity, that was weakness. Eric was supposed to be a hockey machine, nothing more, nothing less. This Dad and Axelrod were looking down at him with matching contemptuous scowls. They had a knack for sucking all the air out of the room.

“Yeah, I know, how embarrassing for me to be rendered unconscious by general anesthesia. What will the papers say? ‘Eric McNally is a sissy,’ right Ax?”

Axelrod snorted derisively, “Fucking faggot, more like. You caused a God damn brawl and now Sanders is out with a sprained ankle.”

Eric clocked the fourth man wincing from the use of the slur, and he self-consciously straightened his burgundy paisley tie that perfectly complemented his immaculately tailored suit.

“I don’t give a fuck about Sanders,” Eric spat out.

The nurse was still standing next to the fourth man and Eric watched them exchange an uneasy glance. He was tall and handsome and seemed to be comfortable in his own skin and pink tie. He didn’t look like someone who gets pushed around. Something in his expression changed as he stepped forward, “Mr. McNally, I’m so glad you are awake. I’m Sam Miller, your lawyer. John Thompson assigned me to your case.” He looked Axelrod square in the face and then back to Eric. “There was indeed quite a melee after you were knocked unconscious by Sanders. Multiple players engaged in a fight and sustained injuries. Some are pursuing legal action against the team. That is why I am here, and I would advise you not to speak with the team’s representatives without me being present.”

Eric’s Dad lunged forward. “They sent a lawyer up here! This is absolutely ridiculous. Bob Axelrod did nothing wrong. We don’t want you here.”

Sam then directed his cold gaze to Eric’s father, “No one sent me. Mr. McNally is a long-term client of our firm and I am here to represent him with all matters pertaining to his contractual relationship with the Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Club and his rights to pursue civil and criminal charges against those who assaulted him on Thursday.”

Eric’s dad wagged a finger in Sam’s face,“Get out of here! No one wants you here!”

Eric watched on in horror and sat up in the bed too fast causing an overwhelming shooting pain down his arm.“Fuck!” He cried out loudly.

They all paused in their tracks, temporarily fixated on Eric who was breathing slowly trying to ride out the wave of intense pain. He was determined to put an end to this, and pushed through the pain to yell at his father. 

“Dad! What the fuck do you think you are doing? Don’t you dare lay a finger on him! Get out of here! You and Axelrod need to get the fuck out of here and don’t ever come back! You can go out there and talk about what a fucking disappointment I am and fantasize about how you want to take me out back with your rifle and put me down. Get the fuck out of here.” 

Eric laid back down in the bed and pressed the button to his morphine drip. 

Eric’s Dad and Axelrod left grumbling to each other.. Eric breathed a sigh of relief. Sam hesitated a second, allowing them to leave first. After their voices receded down the hallway, Sam started to make his exit. 

“Hey, Sam. You can stay. I just wanted those assholes to clear out.”

He turned back into the room and approached the bed with a hint of a smile , “I’m Sam Miller. Pleased to meet you officially. And, um, thanks for that.”

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written? TBD

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? YES! I originally had them meet in a totally different way. But, I will post that as a separate one shot one day.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? No. I am more of a pantser than a plotter. All I know is HEA!

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? I like to end on dialogue or a nice thought that is a nice point to pause or reflect on.

24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). OMG, I have a whole pinterest for Eric and Sam.

Sam

Eric

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? Not really.

26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see? ALL OF IT heheheheh

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? I'm nervous to post, but I know that I want this story out there.

28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”? LOL no

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Okay, I will post the above referenced fic.

“There, there.” Sam says, patting Eric’s head absently.

They’re sitting on the couch, Sam with his legs up on the coffee table and Eric sitting beside him with his head between his legs. Eric lets out a few muffled sobs. Sam hears the footsteps approaching quicker than he can think of a plausible explanation for the current state of affairs. 

Sam turns his head without removing his hand, fingers now weaving through Eric’s salt and pepper flecked hair. The contour of Eric’s skull in his hand is so familiar, it’s like the back of his hand. What is less familiar is Eric’s emotional outburst. Eric had become considerably more in touch with his feelings since Scot came into their lives, but this sort of outpouring of emotion was a first for Eric. Sam was surprised when Eric willingly watched the latest television series depicting LGBT issues. Eric didn’t typically care much, but when Sam explained the premise of the new series Fellow Travelers, Eric was intrigued.

They had met in the last few seasons of Queer as Folk which Eric would watch but roll his eyes at. It’s been more than 20 years since they met, and a lot has changed since then. Eric came out on air and became involved with several LGBTQIA sports organizations, learning the acronyms and finally embracing his community.

So they sat down on the couch each Sunday to stream it, Eric more than Sam eagerly awaiting the new episode. Yelling at the screen. He was completely and utterly captivated by the on screen depiction of two men in love.

Sam glanced over his shoulder expecting Scot to appear at any moment, his footsteps were approaching rapidly. 

“Eric is having feelings,” Sam says by way of explanation.

A look of terror washes across Scot’s handsome face. He had grown into a tall, broadchested  man in the years since they adopted him. He spent far more time in the gym than Sam would have ever predicted, much to Eric’s delight. There was a lot of truth to Sam’s theory that his strong embrace for the feminine was an expression of his grief for his mother and an attempt to stay close to her. As he moved into puberty and processed his grief he learned to embrace his masculine side. Now, he was a grown man with he/him pronouns and his partner is trans. He goes to the gym to keep up his bulky physique, but wears his hear long and styled to perfection with a full beard. He’s the product of three parents who embraced him fully and allowed him to express his authentic self.

“What the hell is going on?” He says, voice quivering, betraying a deep concern. The rich, deep, sound of Scot’s voice snaps Sam back to reality. Still, after all these years, sometimes Sam expects his prepubescent squeak after all these years. 

As if on queue, Eric pops his head up. 

“Oh, hey, Scot. How was the lecture?” 

“Eric, you’re sobbing!” Scot nearly shouts and rushes to the couch and wedging himself between them, a habit he’s had since he was a boy. Sam’s lips start to twitch up into a smile and he and Eric exchange a look behind Scot’s shoulders.

Eric, who has now fully regained his composure, opens his mouth to speak when he is abruptly cut off by Scot.

“Are you ok? Is Sam ok? Tell me. I can take it.” 

Sam’s hand is now on Scot’s head, weaving his fingers through his long, shoulder length auburn locks, “Scot, slow down.”

Eric slips an arm around Scot’s waist, “We’re fine, Scot. We were just watching Fellow Travelers.”

“Assholes!” Scot shouts as he shoots up off the couch.Sam and Eric can’t help but laugh. Sam is bemused by Scot’s swearing. He, like Sam, isn’t prone to profanities. Unlike Eric, who has very colorful language picked up of a lifetime of locker room talk.

He’s pacing in front of the TV.

“Ass—” he pauses, allowing Sam and Eric join him to complete the phrase, “holes!”

“First of all, I thought one of you were sick! I know the story of Hawk and Skippy is emotional, but Eric, really? Sobbing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before.”

“I’m a closet romantic,” Eric snarks back.

Sam chimes in to Eric’s defense, “I mean, it’s pretty sad. Historically speaking.”

Scot shrugs and settles back in on the couch, “So, Eric, do you want to talk about it?”

Eric huffs impatiently, “I think you guys are making more out of this than it needs to be.”

Sam rubs his back gently, patiently waiting for Eric to open up.

“Fine. It’s just that I think about how when we fell in love, and what if we met at another time, and I don’t know…”

Sam smiles a knowing smile that reaches his eyes while Scot looks on confused.

Eric waves a hand dismissively. “I was thinking about what if I couldn’t have you. What if we couldn’t be together. I would have ended up like Tim, on an odyssey to get over you but never able to.”

“I love that my parents are so in love.”

30. Ask anything

I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title] 2. Do you read/reread your own fics? 3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? 4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? 6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? 7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? 8. What project(s) are you currently working on? 9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! 10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? 11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? 12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! 13. How much planning do you do before writing? 14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? 15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? 16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? 17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? 18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic? 19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. 20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written? 21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? 22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? 23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? 24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). 25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? 26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see? 27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? 28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”? 29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.) 30. Ask anything!

[sunriseverse]

AO3 Wrapped 2024 (Writer's Edition)

tagged my @killerandhealerqueen (thanks sass!)(putting this below the cut for length)

1. How many words have you written this year?

214,910 at the moment! not sure i'll hit 250k for the year but that was more of a stretch goal anyway, 200k+ is still perfectly fine

2. How many works did you publish this year?

45 apparently? more than i had expected!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

any of my femslash fics probably i love writing femslash. gets far less attention than my slashfic but whatever i'm writing for myself and my circle of like three beloved mutuals and only their opinions matter

4. What work of yours has the most hits? 

we have not long to love which is also my all-time highest hitcount fic (5,527) and my second zmyx/nanqiu fic i think?

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i wasn't expecting nie huaisang and the no good, very bad day to get a ton of attention but i've loved seeing the trickle of comments ever since i posted it (funny fact it started off as a tumblr shitpost and then someone reblogged it and i was like [dramatic sigh] fine i'll write it)

6. Favorite title you used? 

i'm partial to this wild, beautiful thing just because i really liked writing it and i think the title fits well

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? 

i don't think i used any more preferentially, even though i used multiple song lyrics for titles? but i've used like four or five lines from louise glück's poem "sunrise", which lent its name to my massive dmbj au

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? 

nanqiu i think. unsurprising because i've written so fucking much for the fandom. i'm like a pillar of the ao3 tag unfortunately

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? 

barsalai/shizuka from the ascendancy series! i was stunned to find no one else had ever written anything for the series? i'd proselytise this series if i could because i want more people writing for it so i can read fanfic for it

10. What work was the quickest to write? 

any of my femslash march fics, i confined myself to only allowing myself to write each fic in one day

11. What work took you the longest to write? 

probably ghost rhythms which was in and out of my wip roster for months on end before i finished it at the start of the year

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? 

far far too many :') like a dozen or so, maybe more, if you include the wips that i have partially posted that still need to be finished

13. What’s your longest work of the year? 

currently my main sunrise fic tsl (15,655) which will be probably at least 50k when i finish it in two to ten years because my minimum chapter count is 5k

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? 

somewhere in time (118) which was a last-minute piece for one of my femslash march days

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

tsl (a sunrise fic), don't die wondering! (fem tdj fic), the last and final translation of love (fem zmyx), and sitwyltme (zmyx psychiatric au)...........tsl and sitwyltme being ones without a hard end chaptercount so god knows when those will be finished.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? 

for 2024..........who knows. probably "alternative universe - always a different sex" though because i've been letting myself have fun and do lesbianism

17. Your favorite character to write this year? 

love writing wu xie and ruan nanzhu and lin qiushi..............................their heads are just so interesting

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

none of them i think? i'm pretty good at writing characters

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

i'd love to write something for the radiant emperor series (ma/zhu) or any of the cnovels i'm reading (devil venerable, wang qiuxian, wg, mo du, etc)

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

i think i reread my fem nanqiu fics the most, i love them

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? 

3,079 apparently

22. Which work has the most comments?

also my nhs fic, but we have not long to love is in second place

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i do not, i'm not someone who usually does collaborations just because i don't really like having to work around other peoples' styles etc (also coordinating it is so much work)

24. Did you write any gifts this year? 

i did! i love writing giftfics for people, usually i'll discuss an idea with people and then write it for them based on what we talked about :) i also like writing fics as birthday and friendiversary gifts

25. Did you receive any gifts this year? 

i did! four or five i think? i love all of them :)

26. What’s your most common category? 

m/m but that's overall because i wrote so much newmann for pacrim. f/f is most in my heart though

27. What do you listen to while writing? 

whatever youtube recommends in my mix so at the moment it's mandopop and various amvs

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

really really had a lot of fun writing my fem aus

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? 

i cannot choose but i think my fem aus have the best writing honestly.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? 

people calling my writing good! i don't think my writing is bad but i often forget others read it because i don't get a lot of comments

tagging: all my followers and mutuals who write fic! i'd love to see you alls' stats :)

[the-invisible-queer]

Sept 19 is the first time I mentioned this fic on Tumblr

So that's what I'm saying is the start date for it

So between now and Sept 19 is 71 days

So in 71 days I wrote 50k words

Thats 704 words a day on average

Wild bro 😭

[battydora]

ask game >:D

11. how did you develop your writing style?

14. name some of your favourite pieces by other authors!

24. do you prefer writing super long pieces with long chapters and lots of parts? or do you prefer short chapters, maybe one or two parts? or maybe one really long piece with 50k+ words all at once?

and

19. is there a story you’ve read that you always go back to?

YAY more ask game :D

11. how did you develop your writing?

honestly? roleplaying. i never wrote more original creations than roleplays, i engaged better in roleplay dynamics (because of short attention span you know) and since the friends i roleplayed with (with whom i still roleplay until today!) were like, AMAZING WRITERS i learnt a lot from them and also inspired my writing. this only happened with my native language though.

as for my english writing, i focused on reading a lot despite my short attention span being the main reason i'm not a big fan of reading i must admit, i still read a lot of stories written in english to observe and analyze how others write and take inspiration from them too, wether it's to improve my narrative or to expand my vocabulary. i think i've learnt a lot this past year. (i've been writing in english since last year!)

14. name some of your favourite pieces by other authors!

this was really hard! i don't tend to remember any specific stories but when i do it's like "holy shit that story was amazing to read omg". i've browsed through my likes to show you any story that i might consider a favourite and i found this one by @myeternalsin (best jeanist x f. reader, sfw), that whenever i read it i find it as hilarious (positive) as it was when i read it for the first time. there are a bunch more in tumblr and ao3 but they are mostly nsfw works that suited my preferences.

24. do you prefer writing super long pieces with long chapters and lots of parts? or do you prefer short chapters, maybe one or two parts? or maybe one really long piece with +50k words all at once?

hell no, i choose to stick around one-shots (length depends on my motivation and hyperfocus) because every long fic i've ever started was left unfinished. luckily and if the plot still excites me enough, i tend to write second parts (third parts if i'm INVESTED) but yeah, long fics aren't my thing but i wish i could write something that long 😭

19. is there a story you've read that you always go back to?

i don't think i religiously go back to stories, like, yes, there are times where i remember one and say "oh i remember this story! it was so good i'll re-read it" but i rarely hyperfixate on stories (or the hype lasts a day or two)

original ask game!

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

Okay well good news, I finished the fic, lol. I’ve only written the first draft so it’ll need some cleaning up before I post it, but be on the lookout for it over the next few days if you’re interested! :)

Does anyone have any headcanons on what might happen if Annie went into the Quarter Quell arena instead of Mags?

[pluckyredhead]

1, 5, 10, 14, 19

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Two good friends decide to add "with benefits" to their relationship on the flimsiest of pretexts, and then mutually pine for each other while actively banging for 50k. 5-10 supporting characters cameo in order to make fun of them. There is a musical number.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I think I'm very funny! Others' mileage may differ, lol. I'm also a good plotter and boy howdy do I know my canon.

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Anything I wrote in 2020! My brain decided to cope with global trauma by hyperfocusing on writing, which was nice. Also, Love for Sale was 2021, but that one just flowed out of me.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

That post that goes around Tumblr sometimes telling writers to avoid the word "said."

But really, all advice is bad advice when it's offered as a rule, and good advice when it's offered as a suggestion. Every writer is different. "Write every day!" may work for some people and not others. "Always outline," ditto. Whatever works for you and helps you create the work you want is good advice. Ignore the rest.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

How extremely Stephen King of him, lol. I don't have a muse, but I have a collection of books that get my writer brain excited to create, and I revisit them when I need inspiration. (This is not comprehensive but they include Watership Down by Richard Adams, Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge, the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo, and the Seven Realms series by Cinda Williams Chima. All of those books are doing things with plot and character and structure and theme that make me go feral.)