#I wouldn't spend a single cent on this game

[edgepunk]

if this is real, then this is a new low for Bl*zzard

[radioisntdead]

Happy Father's Day folks! I bring you Alastor, Vox and Husk dad headcanons because the original fic I was writing wouldn't be done in time so that'll be posted eventually.

Alastor

Well it looks like someone got picked up off the streets! You!

I love the accidentally became a dad trope for Alastor, he just causally stumbled upon you and then couldn't get rid of you.

Occasionally tries to get you to sign your soul to him especially if you have potential to become someone great and powerful.

Fails to optain your soul EVERY SINGLE TIME, L, sucks for him.

The only screentime you get is when the hotel has movie nights or whenever anyone that's not Alastor is babysitting you lets you watch cartoons.

Teaches you how to cook Louisianan dishes, like how his mother taught him.

I imagine he reads you the original version of the grimm brother fairy tales.

You get him this shirt and he wears it as a pajama or whenever Lucifers near by.

He doesn't seem like the type to drive but if he does he plays jazz and talks about it like how dad's talking about rock or whatever they listen to.

Dad jokes, dad jokes galore.

Vox

Firstly I am so sorry that you're an iPad kid!

Does NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE with Valentino,

Depending if you're biological child from his time alive or not you might actually have a screen head.

iPad kid, iPad Dad.

Valentino is smart enough to know that he's not to mess with you but it's Valentino.

Velvette is either your aunt, older sister figure or cousin figure.

Definitely gives you all the latest electronics.

I'm pretty sure you're a nepotism baby here so you wanna star in a movie? A regular NON- Valentino film? You're the main character! You wanna start a singing career? Hatsune Miku who?

You probably have your own show on his TV programs.

Someone upsets you? You're whipping out your phone and calling Daddy.

Like my other Dad vox headcanons, You just chill out in his office at times, or chill out in the back while he's hosting a meeting popping in with your two cents every once in awhile.

In the totally unlikely event that he gets taken out during extermination, you get Voxtech.

Husker

If you're underage he's not giving you drinks, doesn't matter that you're both in hell, you're not drinking underage!

He's definitely the type of dad to let you take a sip from his beer during like new years or something though but like not a whole bottle.

I personally headcanon that he's been divorced like twice and has at least two kids so who knows you might have a sibling running around somewhere!

I imagine you're also a cat, meow.

He's actually a decent dad, definitely supports you in whatever you wanna do although grumpily.

Has a picture of you as a baby in his wallet, or hat.

You mention you like that specific brand of chips? He's getting you some every time he goes to the store.

Your favorite soda is A PAIN TO FIND? and it's only at specific stores? He gets you a couple of them whenever he sees them.

Teaches you magic tricks and also how to gamble,

He taught you everything he knows.

Happy Father's Day folks! I hope you have a wonderful day and spend time with your fathers/father figures or if you don't have one of those that you have a good day regardless,

Despite the oddly common assumption, I do infact have a Dad, so I will be hanging out with my dad until he has to leave because he's going to a game, as always thank you for tuning in!

Psst! You should totally join our discord server!

[howlingday]

Mass-Murdering God Ruby Rose

Blake: Hm... You make a fair point. I guess I'll concede on that.

Ruby: Well, you didn't make it easy for me. You make quite a good argument, B.

Ruby: (Thinking) But not good enough to find me out! You fool, it's already too late. Jaune's already sold his soul and can already see your name and life span! All I need to do is get him alone so he can tell me your real name. Then I'll just right your full name in the Death Note Kill Log.

Ruby: It's been fun, B.

Ruby: (Yawns) It's getting late. Maybe we should call it a night. Is it okay if I said good night to Jaune alone?

Jaune: Aw, Ruby, you don't have to be so embarrassed. I can give you a good-night kiss any time you want.

Ruby: Th-Thats not what I meant!

Blake: Hm, I guess so. A girl does need her sleep. But it is about dinner time, so why don't we order some fast-food take-out? My treat, of course.

Ruby: Mm... Dinner does sound real good!

Ruby: DAMMIT! I should've known this wouldn't have been so easy! She's being cautious, even now. I can't be too suspicious. Just a few more minutes...

Jaune: Ooh, a free meal would be great!

Ruby: So what did you have in mind, B?

Blake: Hm, a fair question. How about we order Winty's? We could split a four-for-four. How does that sound?

Ruby: Hm, that does sound pretty good...

Ruby: Winty's 4-for-4?! Do you really believe I'm that dense?! Of course I know the Winty's 4-for-4 sandwich, nuggets, fries, and drink, would barely be enough for either of us!

Ruby: But you knew I'd think that, didn't you, Huntress?

Ruby: W-Wait! Wouldn't a five lien giga bag be more appropriate, since there's more of us?

Blake: Oh, how very perceptive, Ruby. Yes, I suppose that would be more fair.

Blake: (Thinking) So I was right. Even though I offered to pay, she still chose the more expensive option. I'd expect nothing less from a mass-murdering psychopath like you, Reaper. But...

Ruby: With the 4-for-4 price so close to five lien as it is, it only makes sense to spend a few cents extra. You can't pin anything on me.

Ruby: Face it, B. This pitiful Hail Mary of yours is all for nothing-

Jaune: Hey, can we get Burrito Bar instead?

RB: Burrito Bar?

Blake: How... interesting...

Ruby: JAUNE, YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!

Ruby: Are you trying to get us alone? B CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH THAT!

Blake: Burrito Bar? Why in the world he suggest that? Is this part of your game, Reaper?

Jaune: (No thoughts, Head empty)

Ruby: There's something here... Something I'm not seeing... Wait! The Burrito Bar was found in the same year Nicholas Schnee died!

Blake: Nicholas Schnee had 14 letters in his name, his name making 2 words, which makes 16. His granddaughter, Weiss, became Ruby Rose's partner in the middle week of March.

RB: Beware the Ides of March!

Ruby: The first King of Vale worshipped the Brothers as gods of life and death. Vita et mors. But why them? Why? Unless...

Ruby: Unless he's referring to Crocea Mors, the Yellow Death, his own weapon! Yellow Death is also an illness that results from undercooking tortillas! Tortillas like the Burrito Bar's Golden King! I get it, Jaune! You're saying you'll kill her, right here and now! Yes! Do it, Jaune!

Ruby: Tell B you want a Golden King and secure my place as the god of the new world order!

Blake: So that's your plan? Well do your worst, Reaper! This room is bugged and being recorded like you wouldn't believe. Every single move you make will be seen everywhere! Make your move, Jaune Arc!

RB: DO IT! NOW!

Jaune: Wait...

Jaune: Can you even get a Deluxe McBurg at Burrito Bar?

Ruby: (Tackles Blake, Punches her)

Salem: (Watching from the shadows, Smirks) Heh heh heh... Hamburger...

[o-wyrmlight]

dude thank you so much for your nuanced takes on dark choco and dark cacao. I love them both sm and its been exhausting watching people reduce their conflict to "dark choco is an irredeemable monster and intentional mass murderer" or "dark cacao is an abusive dad" when both are pretty much the most fleshed-out characters in the franchise, and are entirely victims of a circumstance neither of them had any control over. it's called a tragedy for a reason, maybe neither of them are the "bad guy" and that's why it's so painful to watch them go through this

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people who are pressing on this black-and-white mindset are from Cookie Run's younger audience. It is a game that's designed to be playable without spending a single cent, and it's a cute game about animated cookies, so it sort of attracts that audience.

But it is always really important to take a look at characters and stories and break it down to discover the nuance and logic behind it. It doesn't do any of us good to look at characters and see them as entirely one thing or the other, and I greatly value characters for just how three-dimensional they can be.

Sure, there are characters and people who are abusive and who cause massive problems on purpose--but context is important to look at when deciding what labels to slap on people and characters. Dark Choco and Dark Cacao have performed objectionable actions, and yet it's still important to look at the entire context of their situation. Sometimes there is no 'right' or 'wrong' answer.

What would people have said if Dark Cacao had let his son stay after he was nearly killed all those years ago? 'He's a terrible king--he should have banished his son because of what he did.' No matter what situation or option you choose, sometimes you just can't win. So sometimes you have to go with what you feel is right. And sometimes that can be wrong, too. (Looking at Dark Cacao focusing more on the wall than on his own people.)

But yeah. I really like Dark Cacao and Dark Choco. They have such an interesting and complex relationship, and I hate the idea of it being broken down into something so simple as one or the other being right and the other being completely irredeemable.

I honestly didn't know anything about Dark Cacao being labeled as 'abusive' in spite of there being literally no evidence until someone mentioned it to me on one of my fanfics, and I'm very relieved about that ignorance I had. And now people are calling Dark Choco irredeemable and evil because Dark Cacao has left the kingdom that he grew up wanting to protect to rot in ruin.

In a work of fiction, a character is always the villain in someone else's story--and that's just how it is.

(And listen. I know this isn't related to Dark Cacao or Dark Choco at all, but I also seriously like the idea that Pure Vanilla is more than just a sweet and polite and well-meaning bean who can do no wrong. I don't like the idea that cookies are limited to be what their ingredients are. Let Dark Cacao be a soft and warm cookie from time to time. Let Pure Vanilla go apeshit sometimes. They are characters, not cardboard cutouts. Let them be varied. Let them experience. Let them grow. Let them learn.)

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Uncle Donald gave her $800 in the 1980s

She let him invest it for her up until now

And she has now $45B

I hope you enjoyed your game as there are more to come but with more people as it enters TV for free of course on Channel Fox.

As always enjoy life and what it brings with the most care you can afford.

Don't let the economy, crumble, Uncle Donald, i hit up JP for some cash since Jesse stole mine from United Business Bank located in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico.

I own Chase, bought it with Donald and sold to the US Government for a mint. Jesse could got in on this deal but he wanted to challenge me instead.

So I asked Uncle Donald for a cash loan, how much he could afford and what was in his wallet. $4000 roughly. So we split it between his 4 kids (the 4th being me) and I gave him back $200 for the rest of the day.

And we returned to the bank and I asked him how to deposit the money into Chase Manhattan because Denise had bought me clothes but I wanted to be a fashion designer and had altered them So she threw them all away in a rage of jealousy and heat.

Of course i started to cry so we went back across the street to McDonald's and we talked. He said "i have a surprise for you, lets get to the bank"

So we walked alllllll around the building, up and down and he talked to a man and got us inside all the back rooms. He said "i wanna buy it!" And he turned to me and asked "would you like to invest your $800 into my bank as an investor?"

I said "what about my clothes! She said i had to return the money or else i get none!"

"But who did she spend the money on?"

"Me and my brothers and and her!"

"Well don't you think Its time to invest in you and your fashion?" He asked for my $800 i had to pull from 4 different pockets and my sock as he taught me to split to beat pick pocketers. And handed it all. He handed me back $200 and I handed it back then he handed me a $5 from his breast pocket and t told me to keep it.

And began to walk to the counter to buy the bank.

I chased after him and put it in his left cost pocket and told him, 'well you know you bought me lunch so you keep it"

I pulled it from his pocket to produce proof I had already given it and he couldn't give it back and then stuffed it back in deep, all the way i nearly ripped his shoulder off for which I promptly apologized, jumped on the counter and rubbed his soreness off and jumped down.

And he started to cry a little bashful at first then a full sob. And I tried to console him and Robby appeared with a trailing line of toilet paper so his silk hanky wouldn't be soiled with snot.

He thanked him and became startled and asked if he wanted in on the investment.

Robby said, "i might but i need to talk to you, I belong to this boarding school ran by this might be soon white bigger as he calls himself, inspired by her and taken completely out of context"

"Michael Jackson" interjected our new found Uncle Donald. "Come let's sit"

We moved to the side of the spacious lobby to a small table accompanied by two plus club chairs.

He and i talked about how neat it would be to have chaise chairs in Chase bank.

"Well, her mom is abusive, mostly about money so i would like to take control of her stock with her permission"

"Yes! I do! And i will wanna get married!" I jumped with my fist in the air and pushed against the chair like a standing push up and stood

....

"Her sit. First I would like to talk to you as an investor. I am run by the boarding house and they teach us things like to steal and bring back to get 'rewards' much often things less than they are worth like a stick of gum for $2 when I can get a whole pack for 20 cents. Uh oh, here he comes"

"Im about to invest into this bank with these two kids you got something you wanna say to me?" Instead of waiting for a reply, uncle Donald got up and briskly walked to the counter, asking to return to a different room, promptly and away from Mr Jackson whom was still solidly black (he doesn't have vitaligo its just bleached).

And we entered a nearly empty office and he turned fiercely, angry even, "this will be your office where you will WORK"

...

"Its okay! We are still friends!" I climbed into the chair then up onto the desk "this is where I will sit"

"Well close your legs and sit like a lady, like this hand me your foot, no don't take off your shoe"

"Well I didn't want to ruin you! Your suit is NICE!!"

And he moved my foot and crossed my ankles and patted my knee and said "or you cross at here"

I took my ankle to my knee "no not like that, that's like a man. Knee to knee"

"Oh like this?" I squeezed my knees together

Robby laughed and Uncle Donald looked flustered

"Oh i know I know cross at my knees, you need to explain better!" I patted his shoulder. In the 80s it was okay to touch, at least for a child.

"I said that first!"

"Oh! I interrupt!"

"No apologize" Robby groaned

"I apologize for interrupting"

"For?" Asked Donald "you can't tell her that Because ---"

"No he could I get misinformation that way"

"Except when I'm being scolded and she knows the truth" said Robby.

Tune in next week for another Miss Adventure of one Wild Single Mom's Childhood!

I had 48 cents. Robby had put in 2500 front Hayes then 1500 each from Mark and Mike Andrews which he had not signed and they got rejected. Yet Jesse notified me of this, restricted my remote deposit privileges and now i am to notify the Sheriff of Hays County, Austin, Texas that the money is kept hidden in the tax and revenue accounts of his great county. And to open an investigation which he will pretend he did and then not. So i get his hush money as well as the other two and the $15B JP Dejoria stupidly just paid me because i Told Jesse to tell his father in law that Jesse is a stupid piece of shit which he didn't.

And of course I will invest in schools across the nation, installing playgrounds at any schools that do not have them, including intermediate, Jr high, middle, High and etc.. And may be finally lockers at least were I'm centrally located and/or where i want to be, namely at high schools at least.

Because that is what I want to do. Make people happy in the funniest ways possible.

And if there is any left I want to reinvest at the parks i originally invested in, initially, to make them better snd brighter, starting at the older to the newer.

I want the world to seem happier and brighter and in the case of schools at least around here once they hit 7th grade (middle school) they change schools to those that no longer have lockers or desks to put things in, 7 or more teachers to please instead of one or two they spend all day with, like a parent who gives love and kindness and retribution, they go through puberty which in itself is a chore. Then the kids riot. I've seen it in small schools and i know it happens in big ones. 20 in one week at the beginning of school less than a mile from my house where i can hear the school bell.

And so they need a place to sleep their weary heads like the shoulder of an old friend instead of weeping a soul they can no longer call their own.

The secrets i have included here broke my heart to where it actually stopped over and over.

Instead of asking what was wrong, Mr Moneybags Jesse sent me to the doctor alone. -.-

He could have provided me with what i needed like I provided and protected him from Ms Dejoria and Mark Hindberg, Afghanistan and Iraq, which I will no longer do.

He is the one that encouraged Michael Jackson to pickpocket the slaves he had created.

Yes Michael Jackson is Wacko, is Him and is burning in Hell because I killed him with my own pistol Jesse had stolen from a cop, altered and resold to himself at a cheaper price than the way over inflated price he created to create a deficit in his company to receive a refund from the US government's IRS Department in the amount of $8,000 instead of paying the $1M he owed.

I plead guilty before a judge and Uncle Donald, Mrs Katherine Jackson, the Anne my 4 year old daughter that Michael Jackson attempted to rape in front of me, as well as Robby, my true love and of course Sunny and Jesse James himself whom gave me the gun.

Then, before then President Barack Obama, i was exonerated and pardoned completely without the possibility of parole or any other misconceptions that would be included with self defense manslaughter.

This week total I have arrested a total of 19 men and women thanks to the CIA as an unpaid civilian.

That would guarantee me Presidentship of one really great country, now, wouldn't it?

Thanks. And not to be repeated: No more games. Only truth.

Until next time my fair weather friends!

Now! Let's grab the bookie!!! Snag! You're in jail. What did ya know, Mike Andrews, I knew all along that Mark Hindberg was FBI. Why didn't you think that?

Moving along, hi JP. How are you? No one cares. Good thing you trusted into your rapist daughter who was married to a true hero whom puts up with my shit even after we name him Mr Vomit cause I make him so scared he actually vomits like I did tonight (that's included. No more scare, only truth)

Oh yes, JP, you have already been arrested and so you know -- you have no guns with you, right? Alexis Dejoria is no rapist, she's actually an excellent FBI agent whom hates her dad and is included in any exonerations I may have to hand out butbat my leisurely pace, because she actually didn't rape anybody!

Also the US government will pay your wages as you did file a lawsuit this very week by signing up with Namus.gov like we all did.

She like me, was an unpaid civilian whom ran into luck. While she's smart, she's not smart like me. Thus she's the FBI vs me who is CIA and can work against the world in a millisecond as i usually do and have in Afghanistan and Iraq where i protected many NHRA members during their tours in the US Military while they served with Jesse James and my little brother and were even kidnapped thanks to Matt Hagan's temper tantrum and Jesse James refusal to listen to command. Eventually I saved them from that too in a day and 6 hours after leaving base. They were involuntary bound and gagged and beaten within 20 minutes of their capture. Within the next 20 when I was finally told of their status they were rescued by Tony Schumacher and his team.

And now i have saved the NHRA from being beaten and raped and tortured. My time to continue here at home is not wasted,

I love you all and thank you very much for listening...

And now i have something to say about Jesse since i made him puke from a lie via email Because he made me mad for being a Dick douchebag and not caring enough about me, not wrecking his motorcycle and then lying to make me feel bad and stupider than ever although I saw the wreck and my being a girl, up and President running, couldn't stop to rescue or assist a man on his feet whom had already picked up his bike after a wipe out and the trailer passed me up to show me he would assist because forgive those trespassers as we trespass ourselves and i care that he could really been hurt. That may be a fault of mine but it is called Grace and not salvation which is being my daughter reincarnated into a goat in Iraq to keep everyone safe because Jesse is a dumb dumb sometimes and Matt Hagan prefers truth over himself, sometimes. Like being in love with a goat of my daughter's soul, in Iraq. (I bet he fucked her, too. Bestiality freak. Not my business tho, nor yours. But still, let's laugh instead of poking fun at his misadventures. It is funny, yo!)

Jesse cared about the goat so much he listened to her over every one, even me. Because he believed she was closer to God where he needed to be..

I changed his life once in Alabama and several times then, over and over, any time that need be.

But finally for this one time he trusted somebody else and learned to love as much as he could, the soul inside of him.

So God bless to all of the two headed creatures we will see wandering around the backs of people at the NHRA in the future to come. Including even on me.

I'm Mrs Cougar cause of my fingernails and my desire to be with someone young to keep me fresh and Alive -- not by his blood byt by the life he gives me. And he will be Mr Snake the one who slithers up beside me only for love while I labor in the grass kicking myself for what i might have done but not for what i might have missed out on because I was there the whole time thinking and feeling and frolicking through the grass, same as me.

And of course my tattoo will be scary cause the world as I know it, very much can be.

And you can thank me for the past or you can think about the future and beyond!!!