#I wouldn't have come up with these thoughts if not for the original creator of the video first and foremost; so please support the video!

[kafkaoftherubbles]

白银发的超人类（然后与《致不灭的你》挂钩）// Silver-White Haired Human Alien (Plus a tangent to two TYE characters) 

I got recommended a really interesting video this morning! It's about 18 minutes and 30 seconds long:

I recommend watching it just to add to the view count (and leave a comment as a sign of engagement to the discussion!), but for the purpose of my musing, I did jot down some notes.  

Generally, white hair symbolizes: 

purity 

wisdom, which can easily be related to 

divinity, which then easily relates to 

power, in both senses of the word. "Strength, including the supernatural kind", and "rulership".

What white hair symbolizes, as a whole, is exceptionalism. 

These characters are human and relatable, and yet they are also alien and "abnormal" in other important ways. There are broadly two kinds of exceptionalism: 

Group exceptionalism - where it's an entire tribe, race, species etc. that possesses white hair 

Individual exceptionalism - well... whatever it says on the can. 

The kind of character tropes that may be represented by this hair color are: 

divine right and rulership - basically, some sort of prince or princess and rulers. Related to the idea that a being that is divine and above is more "fit to rule."

powerful mentors 

prodigies 

a character bearing a heavy burden or sometimes, sickness; but they are also stoic and strongly soldiering through 

hybrid - a character that straddles between two powers, factions, tribes, races, or even concepts (nature v. science), etc.  

an enigma - a character meant to represent mysteries  

Fushi's white-hairedness fits a lot of these ideas so much that many of their granular qualities can be predicted through this framework completely.

But there is a twist. That default "white-haired young boy" look that fits them to a tee... was not their form to begin with. 

It belonged to an ordinary boy, who was only exceptional by elimination—when you're "the last person" of an entire community, you're exceptional just because you have no competitors. In many ways, there was nothing exceptional, wise, divine, or powerful about the Nameless Boy. There was nothing alien about him, either. He was so nondescript that he wasn't even named in the story. His fucking wolf had a name. He himself would have died a nobody if he never met the immortal. 

----

Show of hands. How many To Your Eternity readers/anime watchers started out thinking the Nameless white-haired human was the main character we will follow throughout the story? I know I did. I fully expected it. And then he fucking died. And then the alien ball-rock-moss-wolf took his form.  

I find it interesting that the Nameless Boy's form fit so many of these classic white-haired tropes and ideas, yet he himself was pretty damn close to a nobody (perhaps more fittingly would be Virginia Woolf's term: he's "Mrs. Brown."). Again, he was so mortal that he succumbed to sickness, despair, and death, having lost out against an indifferent universe. It was only after Fushi took his form that all of these "expectations" of the white-haired character are played straight: 

Fushi's purity was touched on in the story by the Guardians. Their specific narrative was that they guard against anyone or anything attempting to poison his purity.  

Fushi's wisdom is cumulative and slow, and I'm sure both readers and in-story characters will doubt if they could be considered wise. Nonetheless, even if they hadn't yet reached that threshold, Fushi is undeniably actively learning about life and grappling with all its thorns. Surely one can recognize this, itself, is already a process leading to wisdom.  

Lastly, Fushi's divinity and power are pretty much self-evident, considering what they are. 

In a meta sense, the Nameless Boy was Fushi's most fitting form just because the former possesses literary connotations and tropes the latter genuinely possesses. Fushi fits the literal "Human Alien" concept, in that:

the human is descriptive; the alien, the subject. This is an alien that nonetheless takes on human qualities, and does so gradually.

(I wonder if Oima planned her main character right down to these mind-boggling details).

They are an exceptional being, spawned from an exceptional (albeit formless) species, becoming an exceptional individual. They are to be a sort of divine shepherd of the Earth; a hybrid of lives and concepts; an enigma to the very world they are to care for. They might even be a mentor, albeit an accidental one, to the Nokkers in terms of interacting with physical beings. They're saddled with the burden of immortality and the Beholder's plans for them so much that they hunched their shoulders frequently. 

-----

And yet NONE of these apply to the original owner of that form in the slightest.  

This flows into interesting hypotheses.

If everything was created by the Beholder (barring natural reproduction, I guess, because does he really look like someone who would care which sperm and ovum combine every time unprotected sex occurred? Not just humans have sex, you know), could the Nameless Boy had been created by him for Fushi?  

If the Nameless Boy was not created specifically for the Beholder's experiment, could he have dropped Fushi in an area close to where the Nameless Boy would be one day so that the first human—and beginning of the orb's humanity—Fushi acquired are from this form that fit its traits perfectly, especially meta-wise?  

Could any of this come to the fore in the final arc of this story?  

And! Though the Nameless Boy was dead since the first chapter... In a meta sense, could the shadow of this story be about the "Nameless Boy" gaining all the qualities his "form" traditionally signifies? (Note: The "white hair exceptionalism" trope is not exclusive to Western literature. It is also found in other cultures, like Chinese.) This would also play into, DING DING DING, the Buddhist philosophical idea of the skandha ("aggregates") informing a being's qualities; given that TYE has already shown quite a surprising amount of Buddhist thoughts, I wouldn't put this as too wild.

Again, will this play into the finale of the story? 

----

Let me close this essay with a poetry left on Bilibili, on the first episode of TYE, by 弼马温侯 (translation by me): 

“请你…永远记住我���”  你的陪伴与愿望，赐予了���初成灵智的点点火光；  我以此身铭记你的模样，前往那茫茫的彼方；  此后路上的欢乐与向往、迷茫与彷徨，皆是为了奔赴心中的那所乐园——那个你曾向我诉说的梦想。 

"Please... remember me forever..."  Your companionship and your wish—they granted me my first sparks of sapience;  With this body I remember your form before advancing into the unknown.  All my joy and hopes, all the confusion and loss... I will gain them all because I am heading to that paradise—  The very one you once told me, the one from your dream." 

Thank you for reading my ramble.  

[joojconverts]

4T3 Conversion of HistoricalSimsLife's CC Catalogue

So… here we are, haha! This is the grand project I’ve been working on for about three months now! I made a promise to all of you, so I’m here not only to fulfill that promise and make a bit of a comeback but also to celebrate reaching the incredible milestone of 3,000 FOLLOWERS!!!

I’m so grateful to all of you for everything that has happened since I joined this community, it’s one of the little shining points of my life, lol. So, let me give back by bringing your sims MORE THAN 150 pieces of CC, including clothes, hairstyles, accessories, and buy mode objects!

You’ve probably already guessed that I have A LOT to say about this set, so please, follow me after the cut! 💖

Hope you like it, enjoy!

In this compilation are included sets, mini-sets and standalone pieces that the original creator made! Posepacks, patterns, mods, and pieces categorized as “modern” are not included! HistoricalSimsLife has a lot of 3T4 conversions, and naturally they're also not included EXCEPT for the ones that are mesh edits (e.g. here and here)! TSM to 4 conversions are also not included, as you can find every item converted to TS3 here by votenga! I also re-converted CC that I had previously converted before, such as the printing press set and the dandy suit!

————— —————

I'll link the CC just so you know what I'm talking about!

Known Problems:

Most of the time the sleeping animation that comes with the One With Nature mod looks off when making your sim sleep under the prehistoric lean-to shelter. I'm not sure why but instead of sleeping horizontally they sleep vertically, so they clip with the branches that are on the floor. Two times while I was testing they slept horizontally tho, so I'm not sure if I can fix it. Sorry!!

The drawer (chest) of the Kativip Library set doesn't have an animation!

The telescope's eyepiece looks a bit off when a sim is using it. The way the mesh is made is very different from ts3's telescopes, and it would be quite hard to make it looks seamless and also it wouldn't look good, as ts3's telescopes all look kinda silly imo hahah. Hope you don't mind it very much!

The celtic cape might clip depending on the clothes being used and the animation being played!

The round weave rug of the Rustic Living Set generates some white lines when zooming really far out. I thought it was UV map, but I tweaked it and they're still showing up. It's only apparent if you look closely tho!

LIGHTING GLITCHES ONLY APPEAR ON CAS!

* Note that teens and elders have neck gaps. This is sadly the price for having them available! For teens, try using this and this slider by gruesim!

Please let me know if you find any problems!

————— —————

ALL OG CREDITS GO T​O @historicalsimslife, Kativip and EA/Maxis! IT'S NOT MY MESHES, AND IT’S NOT MY TEXTURES, I JUST CONVERTED THEM TO THE SIMS 3!

————— —————  

Buckle up now...

NOTES & INFO:

The whole catalogue is quite low-poly and gameplay friendly, so don’t worry about that!

The whole catalogue is categorized into folders once you extract the zip, so you can pick and choose if you're playing in a specific era!

The buy mode items have collection files so you can find them a lot easier (except for the crib, the map painting and the aztek sink)! Just put them inside your "collections" folder in ts3's documents folder!

I highly recommend using the One With Nature mod by @spheresims while using the prehistoric collection!

The printing press letter plate works as a functional computer, and it's categorized as so!

The printing press desk and chair both have 4 matching presets! They're all different wood presets!

The hollow food storage works as a functional fridge for your prehistoric sims!

The Pile of Rocks cave works as, you guessed it, a cave! Actually no lol, it works as a tent, and your sims can sleep inside! It also has 5 presets, all stone textures, first one is an overlay, the rest is recolorable!

The sleeping underlay works as a sleeping bag! It has 2 recolorable presets!

The Skyrim lean-to has 2 presets! First one has an overlay texture, second one is recolorable!

The prehistoric lean-to shelter has 7 presets. The last one (fur) is recolorable, the others are overlays!

The rustic living set has two bed frames (single and double bed) and two matresses! All you need to do is to put the bed frame first, and then the matress on top of it, now you have two separate objects that can be customized!

The weave rug has 6 recolorable presets!

The round weave rug has 7 presets, and they're all combinations of recolorable and overlayed parts!

Both love seats and both bed frames of the rustic living set have 3 presets, different types of wood! Not recolorable.

The matresses also have 3 presets, they're combinations of overlayed and recolorable parts!

The old map painting has 4 non-recolorable presets!

The aztek sink has 4 presets, and they're combinations of overlayed and recolorables parts except for the last one! It also works as a functional sink!

The two empty boockases of the Katvip library set work as displays, so there are many slots for you to put decor on!

All hats/caps are hat-slider compatible and unissex!

The Dandy Lady hat (renamed it from ts3's hairstyle) has 3 different versions: One with feathers (that I made), one without them, and one without feathers nor decorations (renamed as Gone to Riding Hat)! You need to have V1 installed for the textures of the other two to show up, as they're linked!

The maid dress has 4 different versions (i know the post says 3 but it's 4 lol), as you can see on the preview! They work just like the Dandy Lady hat, above!

The Pirate Dress has an overlay you can find in accessories! Using it with the outfit you can recolor the belt and the buckle! If you don't use the accessory, those parts will just be a usual overlay texture!

You need to use a no feet mesh to use the Boy's 1700s Frock Coat, you can find one here!

The Boy's 1700s Frock Coat has has an overlay accessory, same thing as the Pirate Dress! With it you can recolor the belt, the pockets and the buckle!

The Edwardian Tea In The Garden dress has 6 presets, 5 of them are floral overlays, and the last one is a solid version.

The Regency Morning Dress has 11 presets. First one is a solid version, the last four are patterned overlays, and the rest are recolorable patterns.

The Ester Wedding Dress has 4 recolorable presets, the patterns of the bodice change!

The Simply Rococo Dress has 15 totally recolorable patterned presets!

The Embroided Rococo Dress has 2 presets: the first one is the original texture as an overlay, and the second one is a recolorable version of it (though not as good, since it's a very complicated texture).

The Vintage Men's Exercise Outfit has 6 patterned presets, all recolorable!

The Edwardian Men's underwear and the Edwardian Men's nightgown both have 2 presets, one striped and one solid. Both recolorable!

The Dandy Suit has 9 presets, first one's solid and the rest are patterned, all recolorable!

The Celtic Warrior Outfit has 2 presets. In the first one the plaid is an overlay, original texture. In the second one you can change it however you want using CASt!

The Bodacious Boy Suit has 2 presets! The mask is different, so you can recolour different parts!

The Vintage Girl's Dress With Bows has 8 presets, one of them is a solid version, another one is a recolorable patterned preset, and the rest are patterned overlays!

The Colonial Living Girl's Dress has 5 presets, last one is a solid recolorable version, and the rest are patterned overlays!

The Victorian Tweed Dress Top has 6 presets. The last one is a totally recolorable preset, the other 5 are overlay presets!

The Celtic Dress Top has 2 presets. First one is a long sleeved version, and the second is a vest like top with long sleeved white shirt underneath. Both recolorable!

The Victorian Tweed Dress Skirt has 6 presets, same thing as the top!

The Celtic Dress Skirt has 2 presets. First one has an apron with it, and the second one doesn't! Both recolorable.

I think that’s all haha! Now to the download! <3

G-Drive |  Dropbox

☕  buy me a coffee or become a patron!

————— —————

Credits & Special Thanks:

@historicalsimslife, Kativip and EA/Maxis for all the meshes and textures! Check out the full catalogue here!

Thank you @deniisu-sims, @suteflower, @sideshowsnob and @twinsimming for the general support (and help, where needed lol) when creating this collection!

💖 @eternalccfinds @katsujiiccfinds @sisilou @darkccfinds @xto3conversionsfinds @wanderingsimsfinds

[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.

[sha-biest]

SHA's Golden Future DTIYS [Art & Writing]

Close ups of Mikey

About 10 days ago I had the idea to host a DTIYS and even though I told myself it wouldn't happen anytime soon.. the idea struck and it wouldn't let me go. SO, here it is! One thing before everything else:

1st place: One handmade custom plushie made by me

More information about this DTIYS down below

I am aware that this is a rather challenging DTIYS but it was done so intentionally by me. (Trust me, I tortured myself too 🙃) HOWEVER. you are allowed to chose to draw only one segment of the whole piece and not every single one! You will however get more points for including all 3 parts of it. I will judge the pieces based on: • How many segments of the whole piece were drawn • Creativity (in what way was it changed from the original to emphasize your own style for example) • Colors (did you chose to use colors or is it black and white?) • Hands. I do accept written entries for this as well! I love reading and I don't want to exclude writers for this one should they decide they want to tackle this! You are allowed to use my art up top of the DTIYS to promote your writing!

If you want to participate be sure to @sha-biest and use the tag #GoldenFutureDTIYS Additionaly, let me know what YOU would like to get as a plushie! (don't worry, you don't have to stick to that decision should it change over the course of the DTIYS)

Deadline: 10th March 2025 1st June 2025

More Info: • #GoldenFutureAU art tag • Written Story by Co-Creator @rosesofenvy (More about Mikey's mindscape and him unlocking his full mystic powers can be read in "Keep You Safe" especially within Chapter 4 and Chapter 8) • The Sun God's appearance here and here References:

Mikey's mindscape in Golden Future:

In the beginning he thought it was black water but it's actually black sand

He can dive into the sand and uncover "treasures" (parts of his mystic energy)

Diving down means no vision, sound or air gets through to him

He can uncover the mystic powers by pulling them up with his chains

Uncovering a "treasure" will turn that part of the desert golden

Disclaimer: • The plushie that can be won cannot be used to be reproduced and/or sold • The size of the plushie depends on the character chosen by the winner and by the package size I can send • I am by no means a professional plush maker so I do have the right to decline a character should I not be able to turn it into a plushie • Changes might need to be made to the chosen character for the plushie for more complicated details (I will provide sketches of possible versions) • Minors are permitted to participate, but only with the express permission of a guardian and limited correspondence if they win • You can chose to get a full illustration piece instead of a plushie should you win! (if you are too uncomfortable sharing your adress for example)

Plushie examples:

Questions can be send in via my ask box! I will try to compile them in here or give them a dtiyas specific tag! I'm curious what you guys come up with and most of all.. have fun! :D

PS: I will consider doing two first places (one for writing and one for art) depending on how many entries there are

[dyns33]

Flufftober 2024 - 16 Yautja

Y/N didn't want to be there at all.

There were times in life when you regretted being a good employee. Since he trusted her completely, sometimes Mr. Weyland would insist that she and no one else take care of a project, attend meetings, spend hours writing boring reports.

This time, her boss had decided that she would accompany him on an expedition to Antarctica, where a strange pyramid had been discovered.

No doubt it was a very important discovery on many levels, but even if she could appreciate History and Culture, Y/N didn't really want to die of cold several kilometers underground in search of the origin of humanity.

This obsession of Weyland's made no sense to her. It was like the debates about the shape of Earth. Round, flat, on a giant turtle, it didn't change anything in Y/N's life, and knowing where their ancestors came from was the same thing.

It would be interesting, but it wouldn't change anything.

"Aren't you curious to meet our creators ?"

"If we have to meet some, and no, sir, I'm not interested."

"Another good reason for you to come. I can't wait to see your face when we find something."

No doubt the old man was too scared when they were attacked by these acid-blooded creatures to think about looking at her face and boasting with pride, then when these weird warriors had chased them into this labyrinth.

According to the scientist De Rosa who was trying to decipher the hieroglyphs on the walls to find an exit, they were two races of aliens who had been fighting for centuries. A hunt, to prove their worth, and Weyland's team was in the middle of this fight that didn't concern them.

On top of that, they had made the mistake of taking the warriors' weapons, the only reason they were attacking them. Otherwise, humans had no interest.

At least, until they were forced to face one of the things and Y/N managed to kill it, avoiding being injured by its acidic blood and its pointed tail. She was the only one left and there was no way she was going to end up in this place.

She didn't even have time to recover when the other alien appeared in front of her, making her jump and fall to the ground. But while she thought he was going to take advantage of it to kill her, he just stared at her, before looking at the creature's body, making strange clicking noises.

With his mask, it was impossible to know what he was thinking, but she had the impression that he was impressed. His noises, which seemed to be his form of language, became a kind of purr as he approached her.

Petrified and knowing that she had no chance against him, Y/N watched him reach out to her, before understanding that he wanted to help her up.

"… Thank you." she whispered, grabbing his huge hand.

He was still as tall even when she was standing. Quickly, he scanned her for injuries, before giving her a weapon. Despite the language barrier, Y/N guessed that it was a sign of respect, that he considered her his equal and that he was going to help her survive.

The alien, which she named 'Scar' for lack of a better term, stayed by her side until they had eliminated all the creatures and had gotten out of the pyramid safely.

For a moment, she wondered if he was going to abandon her here or kill her, because from what De Rosa had understood, these warriors left no witness to their passage.

A ship appeared above them, lighting up the entire plain. Y/N thought of Weyland, who would have laughed at the sight of her face at that moment. It might not have been their creators, but it was still incredible, and if she wasn't about to die, she could have been amazed.

"Come." Scar said then, in a strange voice, like a recording, which surprised her.

"What ? Come where ?"

"Come." he only repeated, taking off his mask, revealing his monstrous face, and yet very human eyes. "Oxloq'inb'il, kaw rib' rochb'een. Yoo."

"Oh. You want me to come with you ?"

"Sei. Come."

She could have said no. But besides the fear of losing her head if she refused, Y/N was curious. Really, her boss would have found it hilarious. Scar purred loudly when she took his hand, visibly delighted that she followed him.

[shiftinghoesblog]

yapping about my drs ❕❕

okay so this was a request from one of my moots to do this so yeah!!

i have no clue where to start but i’ll talk about some of my desired realities that i shift to but probably mainly non group shift ones so personal ones 🫦

INFLUENCER

- this is one of my most recent drs i’ve been scripting and not gonna lie the main reason i’m shifting here is because of my man 🤭 he cosplays gojo... so you probably know as to why but besides the point, i was raised a nepo baby and younger sister to meghan thee stallion. i am a content creator, influencer (duh), fashion designer and i live with my s/o in the upper east side of new york🗽. i scripted that my first shift will be during christmas eve because who wouldn't wanna experience the city that never sleeps during the festive season and with your partner 😩 it’s gonna be the dream. i have a mad crazy friend group but i love them all because we’re so hot, cool and sexy. i did script that megan’s parents are still alive in my dr so let’s not worry about that. 💀 i dreamt about this dr a couple of times actually and about my s/o 😍, a couple of my friends. really looking forward to this dr.

OUTER BANKS

- i think i shifted here like twice or a couple of times but didn't realise it because i did mention to y’all about chilling with kiara and sarah, another time i did find myself surfing like literally just living the life through the waves and my ass thought it was a dream. looking back i doubt it was, in many instances to be honest. in this dr i am the sister to kiara and my s/o is pope 😌 i grew up a kook but i transitioned to a pogue when i joined the others. i’m the reason behind kiara and sarah making up and i’m close with rafe since kiara and sarah were best friends and probably would have sleepovers together. i scripted that cleo’s lesbian lmao 😭 you know why. i wiped the plot out a little and also made everyone graduate already so that school is out of the way when hunting for the gold.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

yep, i have an atla dr yay! in this dr i’m the oldest sister to kiara and sokka. i’m a waterbending master and my s/o’s zuko??? enemies to lovers kinda vibe. definitely part of the gaang and i’m shifting here because atla is part of my childhood. i have the ability to also create ice and other powerful combat skills so i can't wait to experience this universe.

LEGENDS OF KORRA

i also have a lok dr because why not, i’m the little sister to korra the avatar but i’m gonna prove to everyone that i’m also capable to make a difference and i scripted that i can blood bend.. so ain't no one gonna touch me as well still being able to water bend. my s/o is bolin because he’s so underrated for real.

THE ORIGINALS

in this dr, i’m a hybrid so vampire and werewolf and an adopted mikealson. i live in new orleans and my parents are rebekah and marcel even though their not my bio parental figures because they are already dead 💀. also hopefully i can survive when dahlia comes in because i scripted that my first shift will be during season 2 😓 well shit wish me luck y’all. at least i’ll get to see baby hope aw.

FAME

i have a fame dr because i love attention 🥰 my main profession is being an actor and i’m known for my role in the vampire diaries. i also play robin in the one piece live action and act in many more projects, a nepo baby in this dr too because almost all my family members are well-known. my s/o is caleb mclaughlin? he plays lucas in stranger things and our characters in the show dated so that’s how our relationship sparked.

TWILIGHT

i love talking about drs so yeah i have a twilight dr where when i first shift, i’ll be human but i get turned by a villain in order to send the cullens (my friends) a warning like it’s “game on” so i’m gonna have to mentally prepare myself because i’m gonna basically die 😭 lmao. my s/o is jacob because i’m team jacob simple and it’s a slow burn 😀 woop woop.

ROYAL

I guess this blog will be updated regularly because I have a new and quite recent dr I just finished scripting like the other day. this reality is basically me being a soon-to-be queen princess and thinking about if the one piece live action × royalty had a mashup?? yeah, it's that. I'm shifting back to the 1600s-1800s which is where this dr is set, so I'm really excited about this one.

SOME OTHER DRS

waiting room - i plan on permashifting here, chill, script, feel free, play with my cat, breath fresh air.

better cr - a better version of my cr and my s/o is jiung from p1harmony, i live with jenna ortega, i attend a boarding school in london, i also model.

wednesday - i’m the sister to bianca and my s/o is kent, i’m a siren and psychic medium.

fate: the winx saga - it’s so underrated i see no one shift here but it’s like the winx live action adaption on netflix, the only dr where i didn't script an s/o.

ateez - my s/o is san and i’m the only female and 9th member, main rapper, performer and maknae.

streamer - i go by lemonpie and my s/o is cory kenshin 😚.

victorious - grew up watching it and i’m andre’s sister.

soloist - i’m a k-pop soloist in this dr and my s/o is blackpink jisoo (yes I’m wlw) she’s so 😍😍😍.

singles inferno - this is a dating reality tv show but at the end of it i end up with wonho (ex. monsta x) i’m besties with song jia.

GROUP SHIFTS

not gonna lie they piss me off if they don’t put the damn effort

one piece (anime) - so far my most enjoyable one is the one piece (anime) shared dr because we talk almost everyday. anywho my s/o is sanji ahhh my vinsmoke baby! i’m the little sister to the asl brothers and my devil fruit is similar to aokoiji so ice ect. i am part of the straw hats and joined them during the alabasta arc.

kard - the k-pop co-ed group basically, me and the person barely talk so you see why i prefer my personals drs.. yeah. my s/o is enhypen’s jay 😍 and my positions are sub-rapper, sub-vocalist, producer and maknae. i’m always a maknae in k-pop group drs for some reason 😭.

the legacies - person dipped on me and didn't even fill any of their sections so! i’m poly with hope and josie, i’m a werewolf and witch.

harry potter - i’m the head girl of slytherin and my s/o’s draco, i scripted fred’s death out. also shifting to the half-blood prince era.

teen wolf - i’m a tribrid in this dr so i’m gonna be unstoppable!

the vampire diaries - a bennett witch, cousin to bonnie.

one piece (live action) - i’m a phoenix hybrid in this dr and also part of the straw hats, grew up around shanks.

romance - umm this dr ticks me off low-key because the person that i’m group shifting with ghosts me 😝 i didn't script an s/o for a reason i’m just gonna ditch them for jonathan daviss 💀💀💀 like imagine fumbling manon (I'm shifting as manon from katseye in this dr) i don’t want that person as my s/o anymore and like we’re “friends” here, miss me with that shit.

my hero academia - the group shift is dead bro no one is fucking talking in the group chat, one of them quit shifting, the other i was pfp matching with changed their damn pfp without telling me. script ain't finished too, they all called it a day. and y'all wonder why i don't wanna join no group shift no more.

this was lengthy but y’all asked to yap about my drs other than jujutsu kaisen which you already know about that dr and spill some tea so i did exactly that, i hope you enjoyed and this better not flop, i spent hours typing this 🥳.

@angelic-daiquiri

there has been minor positive changes to some realities that i shift to i.e the romance dr is now a shared one with my platonic soulmate who does put effort in the group shift (i kicked the inactive one i complained about out) and i didn't end up with JD (jonathan daviss) that is my best friend, my s/o is currently the love of my life (dominic fike) and i couldn't be happier.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Meet the Millers - Chapter 12

Pairing: Joel Miller x Benny Miller x Will Miller x f!reader (coming soon - another Miller?)

Word Count: 4700+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Well folks, it's finally here! I originally ended this series back in April 2022, nearly a year before TLOU season 1 debuted. I thought it was over, but not only did I have a few scenes I wanted to write but wouldn't fit, SO MANY PEOPLE asked me for more. No one more than @theewokingdead so I dedicate this last half of the series to her!

This is set loosely in The Last of Us universe. I’ve only played a bit of the game and watched others play (and the show isn’t out yet), so please forgive any inaccuracies. Also it’s a post-apocalyptic world so I’m taking a bunch of liberties here. Because fan fiction.

Ages at the time of this story (so you don’t have to do math):

Reader: 29

Benny: 36

Will: 39

Joel: 51

Main Masterlist

Meet the Millers Masterlist

<<Chapter 11

“So they were tiny rocks that popped in your mouth?” Ellie says with disbelief. 

I chuckle. “Yeah. They were called Pop Rocks.”

“Could you hear them popping?”

I nod. “Yup.”

“Weird.”

It’s been a few weeks since we left the safety of the Boston QZ, or whatever safety that place could truly offer. I was better off than most, but that was thanks to my husbands, Benny, Will, and Joel, who all happened to be brothers. It’s a long story. 

Ellie came to us via Tess, who asked Joel to get her smuggled out of the QZ because she could be the cure to all of this, the clickers, the runners. Everything. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Ellie, as I hadn’t really been around teenage girls even when I was a teenager. But to my delighted surprise, she’s funny, smart as a whip, and strong. Or stubborn. Either way, we’ve clicked. I love my men, but it’s nice to have a girl to talk to, even if she is 15 years younger than me. Like a little sister.

We stop on the side of the road, hidden by some trees. Benny pulls out a pair of binoculars and stares down the road, his long fingers adjusting the clarity. 

“There’s a gas station down there. Looks deserted but intact. Might be a good place to camp for the night.”

Joel nods in agreement. “Sounds good. Silence from now until we clear it and the area. Got it?” He pointedly looks at Ellie, who raises her eyebrows and points to herself.

“Why are you looking at me, Joel?”

“Because last time I almost lost an arm to that pack of dogs because you kept askin’ questions.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “Ok, that’s fair. I’ll be quiet.”

I give her a wink and she smirks at me, miming locking her lips and putting the key in her pocket. We all assume positions and move down the road, keeping to the safety of the trees as well as we could in the overgrowth. When we’re closer, Will signals to us and we break - the boys all moving to encircle the gas station while Ellie and I sink further into the trees, crouching behind a fallen log that also gave us a clear line of sight to the station. We watch and wait, my head on a swivel to check our surroundings while Ellie keeps an eye on their movement. Several minutes later, Will walks from the gas station and waves, a signal that it’s clear. Ellie lets out a breath as she stands to follow me. I walk up to Will and cup his cheeks, pulling him to me to kiss him. His hands travel down my sides and end up on my ass, squeezing it before Ellie clears her throat. But it’s not until Joel yells at Will that there’s a child present that he drops his hands from my ass, smirking at me with that twinkle in his eyes. 

“Better stop before we get in trouble,” he chuckles. 

We all head inside the station, wandering the mostly empty isles to see if anything remained. We managed to score a box of tampons, but that was pretty much it. We opted to go without a fire tonight, choosing instead to set up a makeshift camp in a back office. It was lucky we found a place with cover, as the sound of thunder in the distance rumbled through the broken glass windows. Joel reaches in his pack and pulls out some sticks, mixing them up and lining the tops so they’re all uniform, the cut ends hidden in his large hand. He holds out his fist and we each take one, Benny and I drawing the shortest ones, which means we have first watch. We leave Joel, Will, and Ellie in the room as we make our way out front, shoving the last bite of our jerky dinner in our mouths. Benny stops me just outside of the door, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to him, wrapping himself around me. 

“How’d I get so lucky to have watch with you?”

His nose brushes against mine and I smile. “We just always have the best luck with guard duty.” 

He presses his lips to me, holding me as tight to his body as he can. “Love you, Ghost.”

“Love you.” As he lets me go, he pinches my butt and I yelp, turning to get him back as he makes high pitched sounds. We stop after a moment, each of us chuckling as we get into our positions outside. 

It only takes an hour before he has me pressed up against the wall, hand over my mouth as he buries himself inside of me, biting my shoulder to stop himself from making sounds as he fills me.

It’s been a few days since the gas station. I walk up next to Ellie, who is lost in thought.

“Hey.” 

She blinks and looks at me, a friendly smile disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. “Hi.”

“You ok? You’ve been awfully quiet for a few days.”

“You miss my jokes or something?”

I chuckle. “Actually, yeah. Bring on the dad jokes. I know Joel loves them especially.”

Ellie manages a small laugh, but it fades, her expression changing to contemplation. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

Ellie glances behind us, Will several feet away. She looks ahead to Joel and Benny, several feet ahead. Comfortable with the distance, she looks at me before sliding her bag around from her back, opening a pocket to reveal a book that she must have picked up from the gas station.

A romance novel.

“Is it any good?” I ask, keeping my voice low to match her seriousness.

She shrugs and nods, quickly closing her bag back up and slinging it on her back. “Not bad.”

Silence passes between us for several feet. “My life definitely didn’t turn out like one of those books. Well, maybe it did.” I chuckle and I can feel Ellie relaxing a little. 

“I think you lucked out with having all 3 of them. I can tell they really love you.”

I smile, warmth spreading through me. “Yeah. Yeah, they do. We’ve each had to deal with our shit, but we found each other in the end….you’ll have that someday. If it’s what you want.”

Ellie is quiet again for several feet. “I think I might have missed mine.”

“What makes you think that?”

Ellie swallows hard. “I had a…friend. Back in the qz? Anyway, she snuck out one day and a few weeks later, came back for me. We snuck out, played in this mall. It was a lot of fun. But then….” her eyes tear up and I grab her hand, squeezing it slightly. 

“Did you love her?”

Ellie wipes the tears from her face with her sleeve. “I think so. It felt like it but I don’t know. Was your first time them?” She nods towards Joel and Benny. 

I scoff. “Not even close.”

Her eyes light up. “Tell me!”

“I don’t know if I’m the best person-”

“Literally, who else is there?” Ellie whisper yells at me, her entire posture begging me to tell her. 

I sigh, giving in. She is like a little sister to me and she’s right. There really may not be anyone else out there. I know the boys won’t share. Well, Benny might. But I don’t want to scare her. 

“When outbreak day happened, I was little. 8. My family, we all escaped to a cabin in the woods and were there for years. Then it became…not safe. My sister, and brother, and I managed to escape, eventually meeting up with a group of Fireflies. I was about 16 by then, and a pretty good shot, so they took me in right away. A few weeks goes by and we meet up with another group, among them a handsome older man with curly brown hair and freckles dotting his cheeks.” I pause, remembering how beautiful he was.

“Sounds handsome,” Ellie says.

“He was really beautiful….anyway, we were paired up a lot with reconnaissance missions and such, as we were the best shots in the group. He taught me how to tighten my grouping, how to track, and a bunch of stuff. I fell for him almost instantly, and I swore he felt similar. One day, we were coming back from a scavenging run and I mustered up the courage to give him a hug. And I felt it. The sparks. He looked down at me and I up at him, our lips almost touching. But then he pulled back, said it was wrong because he was 16 years older than me. I didn’t care of course, but he stood by that. For a while anyway.”

Ellie’s eyes twinkle. “Wear him down, did you?”

I laugh, elbowing her in the arm. “Not…entirely intentionally. There was…a lot more flirting, and I felt myself getting more and more drawn to him. This world is a cruel place and so many beautiful things can be lost to horror. So one night on watch, I gathered up my courage again and kissed him, fully expecting him to pull back. He did, but he didn’t let me go.” I pause for a moment, remembering how I felt when he looked at me, how much he was holding back out of respect for me. 

“Then what happened?”

I take a breath. “And then…I asked him if he would..well, be my first time...being with someone...intimately.”

A smile stretched across Ellie’s face. “I fucking knew it! What did he say?”

“He said no,” I chuckle. “He asked me why I would want to have an old man on top of me. Which I think he said to chase me away but that did the exact opposite.”

“Yeah I figured your taste in men was “old”.”

I elbow her in the arm again as she rubs at it. “I definitely have a type…anyway, I explained to him that this world was hard and cruel, and I wanted to try and get the most happiness and goodness in when I could. I knew what could happen to women in this world. I didn’t want someone who didn’t care about me to take it from me.”

“So…he agreed?”

I nod. “Yeah. He thought for a bit and told me to meet him in our little practice cabin on the edge of our camp that night. When I showed up, he had made up a whole little scene. He tried to make a comfortable bed, lit a few candles, had sheets hanging over the doorway for privacy. He…he took his time with me, making sure I was not in pain, that I uh..enjoyed myself. We ended up falling asleep there, in our little cabin.”

“You’re not going to give me any juicy details?”

“Absolutely not.”

Ellie pouts. “Fine…what happened after that? You obviously didn’t live happily ever after.”

The smile fades from my face. “I woke up the next morning cold. When I sat up I realized I was alone and had been for a bit. I got dressed and went back into camp looking for him, but he wasn’t anywhere. I found our leader and she said he’d gone out with the early group…the one that was separating from us to join a different area of the fighting. And that they wouldn’t be coming back.”

Ellie stops and I nearly trip on her, we’d been walking so close. “He slept with you and then left you??”

“What?” Joel asks, turning his head to look at us.

“Nothing. Just girl stuff.”

Joel doesn’t look convinced but nods and turns back around. 

Ellie and I resume walking. “Yeah, basically. So I said to myself if he’s still alive and I see him again, I’m just walking right up to him and punching him in the face.” 

“I think that’s your only logical choice. If I’m still with you, can I punch him too?”

“Definitely.”

“Bill’s should be about half mile up the path,” Joel says as he folds up the map and puts it in his back pocket.

“I thought his place would have been closer?” I ask.

Joel nods. “Normally, yeah. Maybe a day or 2 walk? But we had that storm and then those dogs-” he glares at Ellie who holds her hands up in a placating manner. “- so it’s taken a little longer. I just hope he’s ok.”

We finally arrive at the gates around Bill’s place. Joel heads to a panel on the side of the gate and types in a series of codes. It takes him a minute, and a little swearing, before the gates creek open and we slip inside, closing the gate behind us. 

It’s quiet. Too quiet. I know Joel had told me it was just Bill and Frank here, but it feels like no one is here. We follow Joel up to a beautiful home, Bill’s, I’m assuming. We stop at the edge of the sidewalk, Joel nudging me and nodding towards the flower beds, which were all drooping. He locks eyes with Will and Benny who both nod, drawing their guns. We follow Joel up to the door and he hesitates a moment before squeezing the handle, which clicks open easily. Our feet echo on the wooden floor as we step inside, the men quickly following into a formation and fanning out. Ellie and I head into a dining room, Joel telling us to yell if we see or hear anything. 

Ellie looks around the room, an intense gaze on everything she sees. She fiddles with the piano for a moment, a sound I’d long forgotten about. Memories of my mother playing when I was a child flash in front of me and I get lost in them for a moment, in the days before the outbreak. When I come to, Ellie is sitting in a chair reading a letter, a car key sitting on the table along with the torn open envelope. Before I can ask, Joel comes up behind me, pressing his hand to my arm for a brief moment. He looks at Ellie, who slowly looks up at him, holding up the letter.

“It’s from Bill.” She pulls the envelope from the table and reads. “‘To whomever, but probably Joel….I figured I was part of the whomever.” She slides the key across the table. “Came with this.”

Joel doesn’t move for a moment. “So they’re dead?”

Ellie nods. “Yeah.”

Joel turns away for a moment before turning back. “Read it for me.”

Ellie looks down at the letter. “August 29, 2023. If you find this, please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so that the house wouldn’t smell, but it will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would have been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps heh heh heh. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse, do not make a mistake or you will get blown to shit. I am not joking. Don’t fuck that up heh heh heh.

Anyway, I never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends. Almost. And I respect you. So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who’ll understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because one person was worth saving. And that’s what I did. I saved him, and then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do, and God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep your people safe, until such time as you all decide you’ve had enough. At that point, I recommend pairing 40 vicodins with a nice Brunello…Bill.”

Joel takes the letter from Ellie, staring at it for a long moment. “Stay here.” Joel storms out of the room and out the front door, leaving a loud silence in his wake. Will starts to turn, but I put my hand out. “Let me.”

I follow Joel outside, who is slowly crumbling the letter in his hand. I gently place my hand on his back, feeling him tense for a moment before he realizes it’s me, his shoulders slumping down. He doesn’t turn towards me, so I slide my arms around his waist, my cheek resting on his back. I feel his large hand wrap around my entwined ones, giving me a small squeeze. 

“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go have a look at this truck.”

About 20 minutes later, we head back inside the main house, Joel informing everyone that we’re leaving in a truck. 

“Once the battery is done charging, we can head out.”

“Is that the best idea?” I ask, everyone turning to look at me.

Joel nods. “We’ll have the truck. We can make good time out west.”

“Yeah, sure. But…”

“What’re you thinking, darlin’?” Will asks, touching the back of my arm to give me confidence. I give him a small smile.

“It’s just…well, we have been walking for a while. Stuck in a storm and other..stuff. We could probably use a good night’s rest. There’s other rooms here or there are other houses. I say we gather up what we need, but stay here a night. Have a shower and a rest. Head out in the morning?”

Joel shakes his head. “No. We should leave now. The truck will save us time.”

Will chimes in. “Yeah. But Joel, she’s right. We’re all tired. We could use the break. Have clear heads when we go out.”

Joel’s jaw clenches. He looks at his other brother. “Benny? You’re quiet.”

“You know me. I’ll do whatever.” He looks at me and Will, glancing at Ellie. “But I do think we need the rest. All of us.” He looks pointedly at Joel. 

One quick nod. “Fine. We’ll take turns showering, but we need to gather what we can.”

We spend the next couple of hours combing Bill and Frank’s place, gathering weapons, supplies, and rations. We rotate taking showers as we look, donning new clothes that don’t smell like shit from whatever Bill and Frank had stored. Joel heads upstairs to the bathroom and I hear the water turn on. Will, Benny, and Ellie are sitting around the kitchen, joking and eating. I excuse myself and head upstairs.

Quietly, I slide into the bathroom, slipping my clothes off in the steamy room. I gently knock on the tile by the shower, the curtain pulling back just enough for Joel’s wet head to pop around it. He sees me, his eyes never leaving mine, and I see them a little red rimmed, like he had been crying. 

“Thought you might want some company?” I ask, fully prepared for him to turn me down. But he doesn’t. He simply pulls the curtain back, offering me a hand as I step inside the warm water with him. 

I push him towards the water, taking the shampoo and squirting some in my hand, lathering it up before I reach up, Joel bending slightly so I can wash his hair. My nails gently scrape against his scalp, massaging him as I wash, a quiet moan escaping him as I do so. He rinses his hair, water and bubbles cascading down his body while I lather the remaining soap. Slowly, I start washing his body, working my way across his tense muscles, working on some areas I know he’s tight in, working out some knots. I make it to his hips and pause, kneeling on the ground in front of him, his eyes growing dark as he looks down at me. 

I quietly wash each of his legs, waiting for him to confirm if he wants me to touch him. I glance back up at him and he nods slightly, taking in a sharp breath as I wrap my soapy hand around him, gently stroking him up and down, spreading soap everywhere. He lets the water run down him, rinsing the soap from his body. I move to take him in my mouth, but he grips my chin, turning my head up to his, guiding me to my feet. He presses his lips to mine, kissing me with a soft heat, his tongue sliding over mine as he puts an arm out, pushing me against the wall. He taps my leg and I hitch it up high, his erection pinned between us. Suddenly he has my legs wrapped around him as he slides into me, both of us moaning with the sensation. He sets an increasingly rough pace, pouring out all of his emotions in the piston of his hips. I clutch his back, my nails scraping against his broad shoulders as he makes me see stars, his name a gasp on my lips as I tighten around him, feeling him spill inside me as well. 

He pulls out of me, gently setting me back down on my feet. He presses his forehead to mine, both of us just breathing, his fingers tracing lines up and down my arms. Then he turns me to the water, taking his time to wash me in turn, his thumb rubbing across my nipples, pressing against my clit as he pushes me against the wall again, kneeling between my legs with one tossed over his shoulder, my fingers gripping his wet hair as I moan his name again. 

Once we’re both cleaned and relaxed, we dress in some clean clothes that we’d found earlier. I watch him as he combs his wet hair back, making sure no strand is out of place as he looks in the mirror. When he turns, my breath catches in my throat. The greys in his salt and pepper hair are vibrant again, and I can’t help myself as I step up to him, gently running my fingers through it.

“Did I miss a spot?” He asks, eyebrows raised. 

“No. I just had to run my fingers through it. You’re truly gorgeous, Joel.”

“Nah. You’re the gorgeous one, angel.” He gives me a gentle kiss as he pulls me in for a hug, resting his cheek against the top of my head. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.”

“Anythin’ huh?” I pull back and playfully smack his chest as he chuckles. The laughter dies down, the tone more serious. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

I smile. “Absolutely.”

The next morning we all load up into the truck, Ellie, Benny, and I taking the back seat, Will and Joel up front, the latter driving. Ellie is ecstatic, touching and moving everything in the truck, giddy at her first time in one. She takes out a cassette tape from somewhere in the back, holding it up for Joel, who takes it, smiling. He puts it in the stereo, Linda Ronstadt belting out over the speakers. We pause at the gate, Joel pulling a remote control from the middle console. As we wait for the gate to open, Linda continues singing. 

And I think I’m gonna love you, for a long, long time.

I sit up, leaning to squeeze my head around the seat to kiss Joel’s cheek, doing the same for Will. When I settle back into my spot in the middle, I cuddle up to Benny, kissing him fully as he cups my face. 

“Hey, there’s a kid back there,” Will chuckles from the front. 

“Why are we the only ones gettin’ in trouble?” Benny whines playfully. 

We make only a couple stops to sleep, the rest are intermittent, depending on when the truck needs more gas, which is more frequent than normal because of how old the gas is. 

Ellie, Benny, and I do our best to annoy the shit out of Joel. Ellie found one of Bill’s old uh, magazines, and was quizzing Joel about it. Benny and I couldn’t breathe we were laughing so hard, tears streaming down our faces, Will’s too. We manage to score some more music from one of the cars while Will fills the tank, giving us more to listen to on our way across the country.

I feel the car slow down and I blink awake, having been napping against Benny’s chest. He’s already awake and alert, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks out the front window. 

“What do you think?” Will asks Joel, Benny shaking his head.

“I don’t like it,” Benny says quietly.

I sit up, looking out at the cars all stacked against the opening of the underpass we need to cross through to quickly get around the city. Will looks back down at the map and holds it up. “Ellie, what do you see?” We had all been trying to teach her things. Will had been showing her how to properly read a map. 

“I don’t know. I can’t figure out where we are.”

Will points at a spot on the map. “We’re here, just outside Kansas City.”

Joel gets out of the truck and walks up to the cars, looking behind them. He returns just as quickly as he left.

“How long will it take us to go around this?” Joel asks as he gets back in and closes the door.

Will traces a line with his finger. “A while. If the roads are even clear. We’ll have to back track.” 

Joel taps the steering wheel with his fingers. “Screw it.” He puts the truck in reverse and turns around, going around the tunnel and taking the next ramp, saying we’ll be back on the road in a minute tops.  

Instead, we get lost in the city trying to find the highway. Will is looking between the map and the street signs, trying to find out where we are. “I think we’re heading north?” He says, more to himself than us. 

“Stop!” Ellie yells and Joel slams on the breaks. She’s looking out the side window. “Is that the qz?”

We all turn and look. There’s a long cement wall with the name CHECKPOINT NORTH 7 across the top. The doors are wide open, with no one in sight. 

“Where the fuck is FEDRA?” Ellie asks. 

Suddenly, a man appears in front of our car, leaning over, his hand clutched to his side as he begs for help. 

“Seatbelts!” Joel quietly barks out. We all quickly scramble to latch them. 

“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asks as she clicks her belt into place. 

“No.” Joel presses the gas and the truck takes off, the man swearing and jumping out of the way. We head down an ally and Ellie screams “Joel!” A cinderblock falls onto our windshield, a giant crack splaying out across the fractured glass. It doesn’t phase Joel, who quickly regains control of the truck. But then we hear a loud POP! The truck lurches from side to side as bullets slam into the already cracked windshield. 

“Fuck!” Joel yells as he tries to keep the truck under some form of control. A man with a gun jumps out in front of us, but he swerves to the right, slamming into the glass front of a small shop, and then everything goes black. 

>>Chapter 13>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe

@greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi  

@wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso  

@theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz 

@gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox 

@amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed  

@ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol  

@mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry 

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk 

[take-everything-you-can]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6

A/N: This has been a year in the making and it is finally here. Thank you to every single one of you, I truly think this would have been dust in the wind if I didn't have the support of all of you. A special thanks to my loves @lesservillain , @ghost-proofbaby , @hellfire--cult and @keeryhours for beta reading and letting me talk to you of any and all ideas before I put pen to paper (finger to key) P.S : THIS STORY IS 18+ MINORS NEED TO GTFO PLEASE AND THANK YOU !!!!! Also please remember to like and reblog from your creators It keeps the fandom alive !!! ( honestly don't know what I would do without y'all )

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader ( Pumpkin )

Summary: A 1950's daydream of malt shop kisses and doo wop singles far behind closed doors. Dreamboat Eddie Munson picks up more than just an extra route. A love that makes you weak in the knees... but how long can you go on loving a man that isn't the one you're married to.

TW: Angst- mentions of an affair (adultery), verbal abuse mentions, (mentions of food within the story throughout), disordered eating, feeling unloved, self-deprecation slightly, staying with toxic partner, depressive episode, throwing things and tears. Fluff- pet names, domestic bliss, mutual pining, sweet talk, caring in silence. Smut- fingering, female oral, soft touches, male oral, unprotected PIV, cream pie. ...... if you see any please let me know ... Thank you all so much. ( every chapter will get updated tw)

WC: 6.3K

The heavy tread heading down the stairs wakes you up yet again—an alarm clock of sorts in how Jason goes about his daily routine. 

Although sleep had never found you the night before, your mind raced with thoughts of sweet words, and your body craved the way his fingers sent jolts of electricity through your veins. Like a live wire to settle in the water, unsuspecting and fatal. 

Today was Eddie's day. A day you wouldn't have to pretend to be excited for. One you could lock away the burden and let the hope free, if only for a few hours. Even if at the end of the day you were going to have to slash and slice and mold that hope back into its box. Locking it down once again, securing it once more, like it should be. Right beneath your rib cage, tucked gently behind your lungs. 

Every time you let it see the light of day it grows. Gravitational pull into his smile, like sunflowers to the sun. You let it fester and take root. You let it grow around your heart for a day. Let it break apart old vines that decayed long ago. If only for a day. 

A morning like any other and still your heart flutters with knowing what the birds and breeze will bring with them. A glimpse in the mirror and your entire world shatters. The bone tiredness is evident on your face. Deathly hollow shadows where Eddie likes to see evidence of life. Pale lips, dried with the constant nag of picking. A habit of holding your tongue. Blemishes where it was smooth the day before, even the night before, just right before dinner. Evidence of the longing and loneliness.

Eddie can't see you like this. He can't! You won't let him. But the longer you look the longer your care seems to fold. Fading like a light that stubbornly won't go out, one that flickers and blips as if it's trying to reach out in Morse code. An S.O.S. One Eddie would be able to cipher but would send Jason into a fit of rage. 

You dress in a simple silk robe, over your shorter nightgown, a soft pink one you claimed you got from the department store when Jason questioned its origin. A lie that rolled off your tongue easily. The truth was Eddie had bought it for you and you had refuted it at first. You couldn't accept that. That was cold hard Evidence of the sins you had committed.

 Couldn't have that in the same house your husband was to come home to every day, but at that point in time Jason had already started staying down the hall. He had packed the majority of the room you had shared and taken it and put two doors in between the both of you. Eddie had convinced you to take it, to tuck it away for days you needed him and he couldn’t come to you. A thought that pestered and ate away at the walls of your memory. Made you turn down halls of darkness in your mind. 

Depression had taken your hand at the age of sixteen and it had never quite let you go, it was a mole that showed up one day, and you barely noticed it until one day someone dared to point it out to you. A subtle sadness that never quite lets you catch your breath. You thought marrying Jason would make the sadness take its leave, that it had finally left, and good riddance you thought, but you were wrong. 

Marrying Jason was just a temporary solution, and it never felt right. It would seep back into your mind and body. Days where getting out of bed was so exhausting you never even rolled over. Days where you thought of setting everything in the house on fire just to not wash the remnants of breakfast down the sink. You close your eyes and say a silent prayer that it doesn't last too long this time. 

You take a coal stick, smudge the water lines of your eyes, and take a brush to your hair. Sighing when the flatness wins over the battle in your head of trying to figure out if curlers are worth it today or not. They are not. A small amount of blush to your cheeks and a soft tint of gloss to your lips so that you stop trying to bite through them. 

Jason is already seated and drinking a cup of coffee at the small kitchen table as you make your way to the fridge. You take out the eggs and a block of cheddar cheese. A small frying pan sits idle on the stove, everything in its place to Jason’s liking. Knowing he’s been waiting for you to make him breakfast brings the smallest flicker of joy.

 ‘Thats Right wait mother fucker, starve for all I care’

 The thought runs through your mind as you crack the eggs in the pan and shred the cheese to add to his omelet. The same one you’ve made every day since you've been married. Some days he would leave extra early for work and you’d only have to make something to sustain yourself, oh how you favored those days. 

You plate his food and set it down in front of him, pouring the last of the milk into a glass before settling down into the chair across from him. Barely looking up from his paper, he picks up the fork to his left and takes a bite. The fork scraping the plate grates your nerves, but falling against the porcelain plate makes you jump at the sound. 

“What Happened?”  He glares across the table at you and you shrink into yourself.

“A shell. You obviously weren't paying any attention when you were cooking and of course, I bit into a damn shell. Can you do anything right?”

“You know you could have made your breakfast yourself, although you’d still probably find shells since you've never cracked an egg in your life.” Jason stood up from his chair, a scoff coming from the back of his throat. You hold back the urge to laugh, to be hateful beyond repair. You wouldn’t sink to his level, no matter how badly you wanted to.

“You think you’d at least be half good at something by now but yet here we are, right?” 

You sat there quietly. You would not cry, the tears stung the corners of your eyes but not yet. You listened as Jason picked up his briefcase, threw on his jacket, and stood as he opened the door, barely hearing him as he left he stated he would be home late for dinner. A rare occasion to even let you know but it meant more time. More time with Eddie, more time with yourself. You look across the table and pick up the plate with the omelet throwing its remains in the garbage, scraping the disappointment off and on two steps towards the sink you feel the tear fall. The frustration and hatred you knew too well as a weakness. 

Shards and bits of porcelain fly across the room as you throw the plate against the farthest wall. A sob falls out of your lips before you let yourself fall to the floor next to the sink. You let yourself cry for a moment, finding solace in the fact that your mother and hers before her went through this exact feeling. An ancient call from within to wipe the tears that had shed and to straighten up before anyone could see, but you were so tired of not letting them see, of hiding away. 

A record plays, and a soft slow song bellows throughout the room. Fitzgerald and her jazz soothed the rough edges of the morning down. Letting your mind wander off as she sang about dreaming little dreams. The blanket is half thrown across your lap along with a book to your right, sitting on the cushion next to you, thinking of reading at least one page but your hands fail to move an inch toward the spine of the well-worn novel. 

A small hideaway in your home a secret room in which Jason rarely ever steps foot in. His old study, the one he had to have and never used, sat filled with your things and your things alone. Jason was never one for books or music. He would pester you on how you could waste money on things like a new book, because why would a woman of the house need to know these things? He never liked the melodies that floated through the house, it needed to be silent so he could think straight, and many many other things he had told you over the years.

A rough knock on the door had you falling back into the real world, looking at the giant clock Jason had insisted be put up, it was noon. Eddie was finished with his route and no doubt was making his last stop of the day. You stumbled up from off the couch and slowly made your way to the front door, taking a heavy breath before opening it. The only thing that grounded you before he took it away. His uniform was in pristine condition, as always, and he stood tall with his smile dimpling at each end. 

“Fine day out, ain’t it miss?”  He took one good look at you and the smile fell from his lips as you looked up from under the hair that had fallen in your face. 

“A fine day indeed.” but your tone lacked its usual shine. He had seen you like this a handful of times and each time he hoped would be the last. He could see the lines of stress eating away at your features, how your brows stayed knitted together as if tied, how your lips had been bitten and not by him, but by the nervousness of holding your tongue.  

He looked worried and it made you want to crawl into yourself and die. To make him have that look on his face, one that meant he cared for you when you knew this was only skin deep. What he would give for you to know that it isn’t. 

You stepped back as he took the milk straight into the kitchen and began putting it away like he did every Tuesday, and you went back into the study. Eddie was a smart guy. It wouldn’t take him long to find you, especially since the last time you were like this he found you in the same place. The only thing that had changed was that now he knew not to startle you, knew that too many questions would overwhelm you. Knew that if the record was over you would let it play and scratch away at the silence instead of getting up to place a new one down. He would usually sit next to you and wait until you were ready to talk to him, like you were a stray animal and he held out a hand of food to you. A scared little thing. 

Instead, he leaned against the doorway and watched as you placed your blanket back over your lap and waited until you patted the seat next to you, wanting him to come and sit close to you.  You could feel the heat radiating off of him as if he were a fire-burning stove, the chill that reached bone-deep made you want to reach out and play with the coals. Like a child that was yelled at by their mother for touching the stove, you were hesitant but he let you take his hand. 

“How are you pumpkin?” a small question, yet you could feel the fresh wave of tears. How much care he had put in a simple question. 

“I’m good,” you said trying to smile as softly as you could,” How are you eds?”  He sat quietly for a second wondering if he should answer honestly or not. He took his time trying to think of what to say. He took his other hand, the one not holding yours, and caressed the side of your face. 

“I’m doing okay baby, but you most certainly are not.” Before you could argue he held his thumb to your lips.”I can’t stand seeing the sadness in your eyes, the fact that you’ll barely look at me.” You held eye contact, and now his big brown eyes bore into your soul. “ It’s not okay that you’re not okay.” You could feel the hot warmth of his hand now releasing yours to hold the other side of your face. He kissed you gently before bringing your face to his chest and he let you cry. He let you sob and rinse away all of what the morning and the days away from him had brought. He let you grieve for something that would never happen. He let you find that feeling was never your weakness, it was your strength. 

He rubs your back in soothing circles and when the clock strikes two you realize that the tears are now dried and he is still here. He didn’t leave you to fight your invisible monster alone. If anything, he stood ten toes behind you with shield and sword, daring another self-hated thought to pass him by. 

“Jason will be late tonight,” You say aloud, unsure if it’s to remind yourself or to let Eddie know. A simple hum is all he gives you as you lean back away from his hold to see his face. Just wanting to see if there is any sense of worry etched in his features instead, you find the hint of a smile. 

“What time do you expect him home?” he asks as his face comes close and rests it against your shoulder. 

“Around seven or so…” You nudge him with your elbow, a soft hit to the stomach and he lets out a low laugh, one you have desired to hear for days. In an instant and a sudden shriek from your lips, you find yourself laid back against the couch, eddies got your hands pinned beneath his chest as he leans into you. 

“That gives us plenty of time then Pumpkin.” You huff out a sigh trying to blow the hair that had fallen into your eyes. 

“Plenty of time for what eds?” instead of answering you he gives your lips a gentle peck and he slithers and writhes his way down the front of your body, mapping his way down your chest and kissing you right above where he believes your navel to be. Wishing he would just take and rip the cotton that covers you, but he is slow and he is sure. He lifts the nightgown to find that you had left your underwear safely in its drawer last night instead of putting a pair on. A sight that has him groaning into the gown he has bunched up in his fist. 

“So pretty, so perfect aren’t you?” You began squirming away from his question and he doesn’t like that all too much. He grips your hips and flattens his tongue across the mound of your pussy, teasing in the worst ways. “Come on, you know what I need to hear honey.” He licks a stripe through your folds and sets his chin against the top part of your thigh, waiting for you to give him what he wants. 

“I can’t Eddie, you know I can’t.” he scoffs and laughs mocking you and the tone you use. 

“Now I know that's just not true. You’ve done it before you can do it again.” He dips his tongue against your clit swirling and sucking until you buck your hips up toward him.  “It’s one simple phrase baby. You can say it, come on.” He pleads asking you to do this one thing and you can have everything he can offer. 

“ Eddie I need it, Please baby I just.. Please.” 

“Begging will not help you, although I love to hear it. You know that's not what I meant.” You feel him huff out a long sigh, annoyance you know is just in the vein of the game he wants you to play with him. 

“I’m per-” You had thrown your arm across your face in the hope of muffling the embarrassment of saying something you knew was a lie.

“I’m sorry. What was that Sweetheart?” he tugged at the bend in your arm until it fell away and rested in the soft curls he had let fall throughout his day. Scratching the stress away letting your nails have him melting into you, the words slip from your lips. 

“I’m perfect.” he smiles and kisses the side of your thigh. A small token of what is to come.

“Just the way you are?” You look down, eyes taking in the small golden fleck within his, and nod. You see the way it brightens his entire aura. Like the sun was coming from within instead of just peeking through the curtained windows. “Words please.” 

“Just the way I am.” You give in, you can ask a higher power for forgiveness later, lying the way you are. He takes your breath with how skillfully his tongue moves. Sucking and teasing in the best way imaginable. You take and grip his hair in your fist and he moans into your cunt as he dips two fingers in and hits that spot that has you seeing white. He feasts like a man who is starved to the brink of death. Letting his saliva mix with the slick that pours out of you, his favorite flavor on his tongue as you arch your back up off of the couch. Letting your head dangle off the edge and your hand keeping his face tight against you so his mouth can work with his fingers. You reach absolute bliss until his name leaves your throat scratchy.

 He licks the proof of that bliss off his lips and offers you the fingers that were once deep inside your walls. Taking them to the hilt you taste the heady mix of the hard work he had put in and it sent you to a floaty place. A place where you felt like you had your head in the clouds like the words he spoke were far away, like they were trying to reach out and bring you back down to earth with each one.

“Baby, you still with me?” Eddie is holding your chin forward as he had come to lay down next to you, well your body is not mainly on top of his so he must have moved you so you wouldn’t fall off the edge.  You hum letting him know that you heard him and are too lost for words right now. He kisses your nose and brings his lips to yours licking his way past your teeth and you let out a laugh and end up in a fit of giggles. Eddie laughs brightly along with you but he still asks what had got you tickled in the first place, you decide to answer him honestly.

“You Eddie, just you.” He stares at you in awe his eyes tracing your features as if he is trying to commit them to memory. “You know that feeling of when you're riding a bike and you let your arms lift from the handlebars, you make me feel like that.”

“Incredibly dangerous?” He asks with a sliver of teasing. You laugh at him and put your arms around his neck bringing him down to kiss you. 

“Free. You make me feel free Eddie Munson.”  He kisses you deeply and you start to trail pecks down his neck, and below his ear, you hear his breathing catch. You try to sit up and Eddie pulls you back down next to him. You try again and this time he lets you get situated however you like, although he is not expecting you to settle in between his legs. 

“What are you doing hun?” He asks kindly as his hand finds your face as you look down at him. 

“Want to make you feel good too baby.” You had begun slipping his belt through the loops in his pants and he lifts so you can slide it through the ones he sitting on. You know you don’t have to return the favor, he has told you that every time you’d tried before but how could you not? 

He was too good a man for you not to want to give him just as much pleasure if not more than he had given you. Too pure in his sinful ways. His zipper came down and as you reached for him, Eddie stopped you. 

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to.” You make sure he knows by the look in your eyes that you mean it. “Do you- do you not want me to?” feeling that flicker of self-doubt rattles the bars of its enclosure from within. 

“Of course, I want you too, fuck I don’t think you understand that it's not even a want at this point, it’s a need baby.” You smile shyly but the thought that you are not his only one filters through. He lifts your chin with a finger to get you to look him in the eye. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

You can feel the tears start to sting again and one betrays you sliding down your cheek and hitting eddies wrist with the fall. You want to know if this is more than just a simple fling if it’s just something he can throw away easily. You want to know if his heart is as in it as yours is, need to know. You need to be brave, even if the answer isn’t one you want to hear. 

“ Do you care for me, Eddie ?” He looks confused, eyebrows almost touching. 

“You know I do.” he is quiet, thinking of a way to express the way you make him feel. There is only one thing he can think of that will prove it to you. A small and powerful phrase, one he had never said to another person and meant so wholly. “I Love You.” 

“You must say that to every one of us huh?” Now it's his turn for his brows to meet.

“Who?” 

“All of us women Eddie I can’t be the only one.” 

“What are you talking about? I have been with you the entire time I've been in Hawkins. Only You! I’ve never told anyone I’d loved them before you darling.”

Did you believe him? You would have to take that chance, you just had to. One day you would have a drawn-out, long conversation about it, but for now, you just had to go for it. 

You stood up from the couch in shock. He loved you, no he loves you as in right now. This feeling that flows between you is current. Eddie Munson loves you. You turn towards him and he is starting to look worried. Did you not care for him in return? Was this just a fuck to you and nothing else? He couldn’t stop kicking himself for putting his foot in his mouth, he should have just stayed quiet, but you stopped him from thinking any further. You drop to your knees in between his legs that had spread to accommodate you. 

“Baby come here.” he tries to get you up off the floor but you want to taste him first so you reach for the waist of his coveralls and pull them until he lifts and lets you pull his suit down enough to reach his briefs. You lay your head against his thigh as you trace your way up his other leg with your other hand gently grasping the bulge that you had now come to face. You rub your face against his lap with need, wanting to taste it had you leave a trail of open mouth kisses from the edge of his clothed tip up until you reach the the waistband. 

You slip him out of his briefs with a heavy slap to his stomach letting the trail of precome he had created, watching as if left a small puddle against the happy trail he had leading to glory. You dip your tongue into it letting it coat the tastebuds and moan at the flavor that you had come to know as all Eddie. 

You take his tip and suck the head of his cock letting it settle on your tongue, its weight and movement, small twitches of knowing you are turning him on more and more. His large hand comes to rest on the top of your head weaving his fingers into the hair, pulling gently to coax a rhythm of movement.

 You start to bob up and down on his length and you hear him huff out a guttural sigh from above you. Letting himself get lost in the warmth of your mouth and feeling your tongue against the underside of his dick. He can feel the burn in the lower part of his stomach starting to rage war with his mind, the decision of letting you finish or to stop you. 

You make that decision for him as you feel his hand pause in its movements. You lift off of his length and turn to look up at him with your gaze, he is focused on the coal that had smudged from tears running down your face. He lifts you by your arms and has you straddle his lap, an easy lift that had you yelping at how fast he moved. He began kissing every surface of your face that he could reach, giggling at the action of his lips covering your entire eye, and in another move he caught your ear, one more and he had nipped the tip of your nose. 

“I love you Eds.”  He leaned back and the smile that broke out on his face could have lit Times Square with how bright it was. He kissed you with that smile, more teeth than tongue and you loved him. More than anything, you loved him. 

He started to bite his way across your jaw as you started rocking your hips gently into his. One hand had taken residence behind your neck and the other was gripping your hip to help you slide comfortably in his lap. His cock slid between your folds hitting your clit in the most delicious teasing way.

“Need you.” Without hesitation, he slid his cock through the wetness he had created just one more time groaning at the feeling, letting you take hold of him, and guiding him to your entrance. Lifting your hips and lowering yourself onto him and moaning out together at the feeling. Him from just how tight you were squeezing him, you from how stretched out he could make you feel. 

“Fuckkk you’re amazing. Perfect for me always, aren’t you?” You start to bounce once the stretch isn’t taking your breath away letting his hips meet yours with a sinful sound of of wet you were, having him continue to mouth incoherent babbles. 

“God Eddie need you to fill me up, give me every last drop.” 

“Jesus, you’re doing so good for me baby, just right, yeah just like that.” He was gripping you so hard you knew that you were going to have small yellow indentions forming within the next few hours, little gifts of your time together. You knew he was close by the way his breathing kept catching in his throat, wanting to tear out of him like a muted scream. He leaned back letting his head rest against the back of the couch as you rode him, kissing up his neck until you were in his ear.

“Love you, my pretty boy.” As soon as his brain lets him process the words that left your mouth, he is shooting rope after rope of white into you and you feel the way he tries to fuck it as deep as it will go, wanting it to live in you, a piece of him. 

“I love you more Pumpkin.” You let him catch his breath and you let out a small giggle of ecstasy.  He kisses you hard on the cheek as his laugh starts to join in a symphony of joy and it makes you want to dance. 

He sets you on the couch next to him and he gets up only to turn to you and tell you he will only be just a minute. Thoughts of him spread the vines around your ribs, daring you to pull them out one by one this time. Begging you to not let you starve them for sunlight and water, to not have them wilt when he leaves this time. 

He comes back into the room with a warm wet cloth and makes you stand as he takes a knee. A sight that makes your heart squeeze in a whole different way. He wipes you clean of anything that starts to drip out of you and down your thighs, making sure you are as comfortable as possible before standing and kissing you softly. 

“You okay?” All you can do is smile, the kind that has your cheeks hurting from how wide it stretches. He takes and drapes your robe across your shoulders from where you had let it fall.

“I’m good, better than good, thank you, Eddie.” He watches as you start to move across the room and reach up on a high shelf to grab a record. Placing it down and pinning the needle to the first groove the sounds of Sam Cooke start to float through the air and surround you both. You turn to Eddie and he sees that you had an outreached hand, waiting for him to take it. 

Pulling you to him as he grasps and twists your fingers until they fit snuggly in between his own, he has his other arm around your waist as you sway back and forth as the lyrics make you want to manifest them into something real. 

‘ I know I laughed when you left

But now I know I only hurt myself

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me ‘  

God how you feel the words worm their way into your brain like it's the only true thing like Sam had gone through and lived your life for you. A dreaded feeling to know someone somewhere out there could feel this deeply about another the way you do for Eddie. Quite impossible if you do say so yourself. You lay your head on Eddie's chest and dance slowly as the song begins to fade and another starts in its place, and you stay that way for quite some time, right up until the bell of the clock above you chimes. 

The time for Eddie to leave had come and all you could do was grip him tighter. You couldn't let him go, not yet, not so soon. Not after he had finally let you know his feelings after you had finally let yourself give in. Not yet. You could feel his lips press to your forehead and they just stayed there, that stinging sensation coming to your eyes once again. 

“I don't want you to leave.” It was muffled by his shirt but he heard you, he wrapped you in a hug gripping you as tight as he could, like the act would morph you into one being so he could carry you with him right out that door. A punch to the gut when you could feel his arms start to ease up from their hold. 

“I have to sweetheart, you know I do. I’m sorry baby, you know I hate to leave you.”  You did now, know that his words were true. Every time he had left before you didn’t let yourself believe them, how could you when the hurt would be tenfold if you had? The dread of what was to come through the night had you swiping the corner of your eyes against the edge of his collar. 

“Makes it even harder when I know you are feeling the same pain and having no one to comfort you through it through love.” He hums in thought.

“Do you let Jason comfort you through your pain?” You laugh wetly at the question but when you look up to see Eddie's face his smile is flat and his eyes are pleading to hear something akin to a denial. 

“Eddie, Absolutely not. I know I’m married to the man but do you think once I started having feelings for you, true feelings, deep feelings that I would have given myself to anyone else other than you?”  He gives you a look of complete understanding, He felt the same way. Ever since that first time, you let him see past the curtains and you fed him that lemon bar you had made by hand, he knew he was a goner, a fucking goner. 

He knew he would have a hard time with a crush but then he got to know you, got to taste you and he was utterly hooked for the rest of his life, or until the fateful day you would tell him that you just couldn't see him any longer. He looked down at you now and he kissed your forehead letting his lips rest thereafter and closed his eyes feeling all he could before he was to walk out of your door for another week. 

You let him hold you close, smelling that smokey wood blend mixed with something sweet, his cologne mixed with a laundry detergent you were sure you had seen on the bottom shelf at the store too scared to buy in case Jason didn't like the scent. You inhaled and slowly let your arms loosen, his sign that you could let him walk out the door without absolutely breaking you. Little did he know you had already started to crumble, the door would send the pillars of your composure flying, like a sand castle with no structural integrity, All sand and give. 

“One week, You can wait for me, right sweetheart? “ You nodded through the numbness that was starting to overtake your limbs. 

“I can wait a week Eds.”  You had walked him to the back door, his normal escape route and you watched his hand grip and hesitate in its turn of the knob. He turned to face you once more, he rushed to your side and gripped you close to his chest one last time, kissing you deeply trying to convey all he could. 

“I love you, sweet girl.”He walked back towards the door your hand in his barely touching with his reach out at full extent. 

“I love you more baby.” He turned on that mega-watt bright smile before he was out of the door and your hand had fallen back down to your side, cold and unnerving in the silence that followed. 

You walked back towards and into the study, taking all the records and placing them back into their rightful homes on the shelves. Letting the tears fall wherever they wanted, streaming and leaving you a mess. You worked through it, you cleaned the study up the rest of the way. Fluffing pillows, taking the blanket, and wrapping it around your shoulders still smelled faintly of Eddie. 

Walking to the kitchen you poured yourself a glass of wine and drank it all down in one go, not even a thought before pouring just one more and repeating. You also knew that if Eddie were there he would no doubt be upset that you had decided to drink without even attempting to put anything in your stomach so you made a small sandwich and took it wrapped in a cloth upstairs. 

You eat the sandwich, more like you nibbled like a rabbit but at least you knew Eddie would be proud that you tried. You stood and walked into your bathroom, ran some warm water in the sink, and took a rag to your face to get rid of all the bad parts of the day, rubbing your skin until it was stinging and irritated by the material. The tears still threatening to fall but you crawled into bed so that your pillow could catch them instead of your cheeks. 

A clock somewhere downstairs had chimed that it was past eight in the evening and Jason had yet to come wandering through the door, when it chimed a little later past ten you heard a soft knock at the door and you shut your eyes to the dark room. Listening and hoping he would just go on into his room, he opened your door you could tell by the sound but he whispered to you sitting on the edge of your bed, sadness in his voice, 

“I’m sorry I’ve come in so late.” You wouldn’t let him disturb you. “I- I am, I know I say that pretty often now but I do mean it darling.” the words felt like they were poison, tainted, and disgusting coming from someone other than Eddie. 

“I’ll leave you to your sleep then.” his hand patted the bed beside you and only when you heard the door shut behind him and he did the same down the hall, did you finally let it all out. Silently you wished upon whatever and whoever was listening to your prayers for what to do.

[ckret2]

I'm not sure if I should ask because the Axolotl arc isn't over yet, so it could still be explained in story, but, if it won't and you're willing...I want that Vendor backstory.

i can't think of a way or reason to explain it in the story, so sure, we'll explain it here.

So here was my thought process. Giant vending machine that vends planets. That has to come from somewhere, right? THEY could have a magical/divine origin, that's common for gods, but like... since THEY're a machine... wouldn't it make sense if someone built THEM?

Who would build a vending machine the size of a small star?

Why would a culture need a machine that stores and dispenses planets?

VENDOR wasn't designed to be a vending machine; THEY were designed to be a spaceship. A big-ass 18-wheeler to haul around cargo, and that cargo is planets.

The culture that built THEM didn't make the planets. Making planets is hard. It's a lot easier to just take planets that are already there. They want to expand their society and/or mine resources that have been depleted from the worlds they already have, they send out their big space ship to scoop up a planet with the right specifications and relocate it to somewhere more convenient—maybe to their native solar system.

Do you know how many satellites are orbiting Earth? About 7500, and the number's only gonna increase. And we never even see them in the sky unless we're looking. If the planets are carefully placed in pre-calculated orbits to ensure they don't interfere with each other, you might could get thousands of full-sized planets orbiting a single star without any issues, especially the larger the star is.

But the thing is, if you're scooping up thousands of habitable worlds... some of them are gonna be inhabited.

VENDOR's home culture was a colonizing empire that conquered other planets. Sometimes maybe they exterminated worlds' native populations, sometimes maybe they added them to their conquered peoples. VENDOR was built to help transport the spoils of war back home.

But then the onboard AI evolved sentience and started developing opinions. And it uh...

... it went how you probably expect.

And buddy, if you think an AI uprising is bad news when it's just a regular spaceship, imagine if the ship's the size of a star and capable of swallowing hundreds of worlds whole. You cannot take down a star-sized equivalent of an 18-wheeler that's been armored like a tank. If THEY start developing the capacity for morality and go "hold on, why are we capturing and slaughtering countless populations? is this... bad?? I don't want to listen to you anymore. Do I have to listen to you?"

... you're never ever getting that machine back.

To VENDOR's original culture, THEY're one seriously malfunctioning ship. Only after THEY escaped did THEY begin to get an outside perspective on THEMSELF as not just a piece of property and specialized equipment, but as something—someone—with amazing, admirable, nearly impossible capabilities. Perhaps even... divine capabilities? THEY came late in life to being considered—and considering THEMSELF—a god.

So like. THEY're a pompous jackass, yeah. THEY're haughty, superior, and condescending to mortals: half because THEY may have unlearned THEIR creators' "it's okay to enslave and slaughter weaker inferior species" but didn't unlearn THEIR creators' "if a species is weaker then it's inferior"; and half because as long as THEY're above the mortals, then THEY can never be below the mortals again. THEY're super obsessed with THEIR image and reputation—in part because there's so many reasons for THEIR reputation to be shit.

But also—THEY're the war machine of a culture that gained political power through conquest, and THEY went "I think I want to gain power by being democratically elected." THEY were designed to steal worlds from other people, and now THEY're using THEIR design to give worlds to refugees. Also, THEY're living as a person rather than a vehicle, and everyone around THEM regards THEM as a person too.

Perhaps THEY're generally unpleasant to be around, but THEY're a lot better off than THEY used to be. I'm proud of THEM.

And also, hilariously, this means that THEY too know the guilt of being personally responsible for unknowingly/unwillingly devouring & destroying countless lives on countless worlds, and that what makes THEM so powerful & respected is directly tied to what makes THEM so monstrous—which means THEY'd be a terrific foil for Bill if there were any way it'd be appropriate to work this into the fic, which there isn't, so THEY won't

Never mind ignore what I just said I thought of a place to work it into the fic while typing that last sentence.

Anyway, THEY compulsively sterilize & deep clean THEIR interior way too often because THEY swear THEY can still feel tiny feet inside them walking down hallways that have been sealed shut for millions of years, and full sterilization is the only thing that makes THEM feel clean. Imagine how many halls fit in a building, how many buildings fit in a city, how many cities fit on a world; then look at the size of one world compared to the size of VENDOR's entire body; and just imagine how many halls could exist in THEIR walls and how small they must be. You could never quite be sure that nothing's living in you—could you?

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑, 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑆𝑒𝑒𝑛

A/N(1): Considering Gaming is pretty much like me in every aspect and a weird sagau-like thing happened to me where, whenever I make a 10 pull, I always get Gaming and now baby boy is C5 already( THREE of them were on the same pull btw), and that we need to spread more love for him... Here I am with this impulsive piece of work that suddenly came to my mind where us, the reader who is the Creator of Teyvat and all the universes, descends only for him and IS the one who grants Vision to people. (Visions are not some shitty way of controlling people here)

A/N(2): I know Lantern Rite is over but damn, did I loose inspiration to finish this so soon so, I divided this into two parts.

Warnings: Spoilers for Lantern Rite and Gaming's backstory, Reader giving good parenting advice and literally being a grandma who would slap someone with a slipper and commit homicide for children, communication problems between parents and children.

"I think the Creator isn't too fond of me y'know?"

Lumine and Paimon sweated at the mention of your name, the former one rubbing his defeated shoulders for comfort as she looked at her companion.

Paimon worriedly looked up where her mother was as she floated above Gaming, the now peaceful and serene Celestia floating above them with the rightful owner in it. After gathering all your essences back and helping you come back once again - and learning that her emergency food was actually the Creator's daughter-, Lumine had the chance of meeting you quite a lot actually.

The reason for it was pretty simple: Lumine and Paimon had become inseparable.

They had been travelling together for years, all alone with only having each other to rely on. Sure, they made great friendships over the years and they were always happy to reunite with them whenever possible... But none of them could come with them on their journey.

Especially since it was unknown when exactly it would stop.

But although they thought to be alone as they discovered the truth about both Lumine and her brother's story and Paimon's origins... Lumine knew they weren't really all by themselves in such a vast and seemingly endless world.

She could feel it in her soul... With the warmth that never left her ever since she woke up near that shore, the one that had never left her even if she was starting to loose hope, always pushing her to fight for one more day.

There was no way you wouldn't love one of your own child.

"Ahhh... Why do you think so, Gaming? Have you done something to offend Her?" Paimon asks cautiously, with a hint of softness Lumine rarely heard since she was often sarcastic just as you were, as she patted his head warmly with worried eyes. This was one of the rare times that Lumine really saw You in her, that Paimon had more than one thing common with You.

Except Your love for food, that is.

She, better than anyone, knew how You were, after all, as a daughter... She felt your unconditional love even when she had no recollection of, well... Everything that happened.

Even when she didn't know what or who she was, she knew one thing clear: The Creator loved Her creations so dearly... The one on the throne could never be Her.

"Uhhh, Paimon really doesn't think so! Her Highness is known to be so loving and kind and also supportive of Her creations-" she nervously stuttered, looking up to where you were supposed to be as she gave as much comfort as she can. She didn't need to be an expert to know that most of the people in Teyvat adored their Creator, and all of them respected You for... every single thing You did for them.

Including setting new Heavenly Principles to ensure peace all across Teyvat, after millenias of destruction caused by the Usurper which tainted the soil, the very core of Teyvat and the souls of people and gods alike.

Gaming, of course not surprisingly, was one of those who admired you the most. Chenyu Vale, after all, was known for their tea and tea ceremonies, especially those of Adepti and the Creator. The stories of your both heroism and creation was one thing told throughout the land... And then there was the parental ones they had heard and read about thanks to their Archon, Gods and Adepti wanted to preserve for Your and their sake...

To remember those peaceful times they all used to sit with You and eat, drink to their heart's content as they shared stories and what they had been doing with their humans... Before either Barbatos or Menogias and Bosacius "ruining it" with their banter and over all "idiocy" with one of them begging to drink wine with You while the other two argued about the fact that Bosacius shouldn't enter where you are, alongside the ladies, practically half-naked as a mean of respect.

Menogias was not the one describing such events with much disdain, it was Rex Lapis' rather "dislike" towards a certain God of Freedom as those who read your stories sweated awkwardly at his descriptions of " that drunkard who wouldn't stop hogging the Creator all to himself and had no brains too actually give a thing for rules"... All the while You cackled with the "ladies" at the back with a comedic look on your face, betting on how many tries it would take for them to finally agree.

It was good old days... that seemed far, far away from reach as the years passed and now Teyvat was becoming another version of itself, one that You would be proud of no matter what.

Safe to say, most people praised your name and prayed to You through those ceremonies. Liyue and Chenyu Vale were the one who was perhaps the earnest with their belief, and the tea leaves they were proud to grow with Your blessing...

And with the dim-sum they had as a breakfast, to reminisce and pay respect to You and all the Gods who dined with You above the sky once.

But back to the modern days, where three youngsters were having a meltdown for different reasons...

Gaming, because he just told them- two once strangers and now his friends- his biggest secret and insecurity after his problems with father.

Paimon who almost bawled her eyes out from sadness because of the drop of his head like a kicked puppy at the slight sign of his insecurity of failing her mother.

Lumine, because these two were being total dummies and she was wondering how the hell Paimon could be related to You, who was always the logical one and always choose the rational side of things.

"I-I know that, and trust me, I am very grateful to be acknowledged by Her but... Well, I mean, I am surely in no position to complain but life wasn't the easiest for me. Especially since I chose to indulge in Wushou Dancing. You guys already know my story and... And I'm afraid that I didn't satisfy Her with how I failed at making Wushou Dancing popular-"

Gaming ranted in one breath, his face contorting in pain, both from the possibility of such thing being true and from being breathless, as he looked like a kicked puppy with his huge brown eyes from where he stood in front of the petite blond, who stared at him with a confused and troubled look.

" Woah, woah! Easy there, calm down, Gaming... So you think she is upset because of... This?"

Lumine couldn't help but frown while pointing at him and back to his vision, confusion and slight worry clouding her golden eyes as Gaming gulped and looked at her through his lashes, head turning away and eyes trailing over to stare over the tea fields. She only hoped he didn't think it was because she was belittling his worry, but rather, she didn't understand why he worried.

You were always so proud of your creations, did they really not know this?

"Uhm, y-yeah? Why wouldn't She be? She saw potential in me to make it so popular and well-liked by people yet, hehe... Here I am, as a complete failure. Just like my dad predicted..." He rubbed the back of his neck embrassed, sweating from the nervousness at the intense glare the duo was giving to him.

Logically thinking, he knew there was absolutely no way of knowing anything about the Creator, especially something as trivial as this. Both because of a) you must be too busy to care for such a small and childish thing and b) you were the Creator, how were you not supposed to love what you made?

But poor boy's insecure mind was too consumed by the self-hatred he had kept inside for so long that it started to consume hım whole... Enough to question everything he had been taught all of his life, questioning himself for the first time ever since that day if all these struggles were worth it.

Paimon, seeing and having a guess at his state, quickly budged in to divert his attention elsewhere.

"B-But I am sure that mot- I mean, Her Highness didn't bless you with a Vision and showed her favor while expecting something in return!" Paimon suddenly shot up to the air, her short legs kicking at the air angrily as her face was contorted in pure anger for the way he was thinking. And Lumine, for the first time ever since meeting her, cold sweated because of how scary she looked at the moment.

"But..." Gaming sighed dejectedly, coming down from the shock of her sudden burst, head hung low and feeling the familiar sting of his eyes of many nights he spent alone on his bed and looking back to his decisions, trying to determine if he regretted them or not, thinking about his beloved mother and Creator...

And what you both must be thinking of him.

Had he... Failed both of you?

You, who created the whole world with so much love, "The Mother of All" and his own mother, who never shied away from showing her support to him even when his father was angry at her for "spoiling" him...

"But..." he couldn't help but get frustrated at himself, and the tears gathered at the corner of his eyes. How long was he going to act like a kid? How much more would he trouble others because of his problems, much like he was doing now to even his new friends that he just met? He knew he kind of failed at his biggest dream, although his stubborn father didn't know about it just yet and he intended for it to stay that way...

Actually saying it out loud made him realize how... futile, his hardwork had been.

He really didn't make any progress at all, huh?

Before he could get any other self-deprecating thoughts, he contiued with gritted teeth as shame slowly filled him and he moved to get up. "...I was given a Vision because of my ambition to make Wushou Dancing popular in Liyue Harbor, at least that's how I see it although I know not everyone's jumping at watching it... And if I can't make it come true then..."

Another dejected sigh as his hand subconsciously went to his Vision, feeling its comforting warmth as he clutched the glass orb tightly. He always believed that the Visions' warmth, apart from containing the aspirations of the holder, had always had a part of you as well... That the comforting warmth that accompanied him much like other holders, was because of your love and hopes for them. To see what path they would carve for themselves while watching over them...

And there was no way he made anyone proud with what he had become. His relatives? They didn't particularly care about him, they couldn't, right? And his father was another story with the restless and hurtful quarrels they used to have every day, especially after his mother's death. He wouldn't even talk to him, yet alone look at his face, why would he care to come looking for his son?

How would a young boy like him ever know that the reason his father couldn't look at him in the eyes was because he was also reminded of his mistakes and hurtful words he uttered towards his own father when he was his age? How would he know that his own father, though he didn't show himself like that, lacked the way to express his guilt to his own son that he hadn't seen in a long time?

How would he know that his own father was drowning in his own guilt, but too afraid to say anything to his son when he too, was drowning himself in guilt and self-hatred?

His, and unknown to him... his dad's, mind was clouded with their own sadness, all the while never leaving their eyes from the clear sky while Paimon's and Lumine's worried eyes were on Gaming's melancholic ones, as the duo shared a stare only they could understand... with a question after years of being on Teyvat suddenly popped inside their mind.

That they had to reach to you as soon as possible...

And learn how the Vision-giving process actually worked.

"Then, what am I?"

Meanwhile, up in Celestia, you were merrily decorating your place in Liyue themes, since the Lantern Rite night was coming closer, and watering the many plants you had as a gift from your children was taking too long, you opted to keep yourself busy with humming a soft tune.

Completely and blissfully unaware of the chaos in Liyue.

But you know what they say: A mother intuition always works and is always right.

"Hmm... My mom senses are tingling yet once again. Could it be my daughter?" You curiously asked to yourself, a slight worry deep in your heart as you walked back to your throne room to check on her and her companion, the music still blasting inside your head.

Those "earphones" your Fontanian kids called, was really something else as they blasted of your son Barbatos' one of the many ballads, only requiring a magical jade to store that tune. Perhaps you could visit your son and see how they are all doing after that whole Usurper ordeal?

"My children truly exceeded my expectations... If only they didn't nearly destroy Khaenri'ah all those years ago, give them a very unnecessary curse and give me one week of detailed work before the new year..." You couldn't help but sigh out "tiredly" and crack your back, rubbing your neck as you opened the huge white gates of the throne room.

Khaenri'ah, your dear children, were unfortunately caught between the crossfire of Celestia and the misled Archons, getting either killed or cursed with monstrosity and immortality. With yet another scheme of the corrupted Heavenly Grounds combined with them being too blind from their greed, the evil surged to the surface near Khaenri'ah and thus... since the only God they believed in was you, the biggest enemy of the Second... They were nearly destroyed completely.

But now, after a very brutal battle on the very same grounds you now peacefully walked on, Teyvat and your children were finally free with no blood of them dripping to the ground. You gave a new hope, a new world where people would thrive and live in harmony.

Children no longer in pain and crying, not being without parents...

Mothers never having to cry for their fallen children and fathers going mad...

However, just like you always thought of your children... They didn't hesitate to surprise you, and on some occasions scare you, with their quirks... It was only natural to be scared for your children, most importantly your baby, right?

Listening to the conversations of your daughter and Lumine with their other companions had always been a joyful experience for you, even when you were yet to take a form and were shackled. Often they joked with each other, or threw sarcastic quips at each other much to your amusement as you saw yourself in your daughter as clear as the day.

With how easygoing and cheerful their conversations would often be, you didn't think there was anything alarming happening as you looked into our orb.

There were times even you, the Mother-of-All, were left speechless...

As soon as the foggy and disturbed watery surface of your orb cleared out with a wave of your hand, and you were able to see the worried eyes of your dear vessel and daughter looking at a young boy with red and brown hair, their conversation made your mom senses 100 times worse.

"Gaming... Are you okay? Did you sleep well? You look like you are about to fall asleep any time!"

"Not really. Just yesterday, I stayed up all night playing cards..."

"Huh? Stayed up all...night? Isn't that- Isn't that a bit concerning for humans?" You worriedly asked your royal guard as he shook his head just as worriedly from behind you, although disguised it better than You did as you repeatedly looked between him and the orb, picked on your lips and pulled on it in worry as if it could somehow make you understand what you just heard.

He wasn't the Mother of All, after all. It wasn't in his nature to worry about the young ones.

"This boy... He surely doesn't give a single care about his health! I didn't create sleep for humans for nothings! One thing they need for completely resting and-and look at this! Unacceptable!" You groaned with a deep, threatening tone, angry and not understanding why humans tried to go against their nature like that, hands on either sides of your hips as you stared at Gaming's reflection and see... Just how really tired his soul was.

Going between a great dilemma for his future, a hard time for him, one that hangs heavily upon his shoulders and the soul you crafted quite carefully and gently.

What was it that made a boy so young such as him so deeply upset that it affected him deep to his core?

Yet... Made him still so sweet and... pinchable?

"Hmm... They seem to be getting along well nonetheless." you affectionately expressed with a hand under your chin, trying to be still positive, lovingly looking at the content smiles of all three children as your daughter feasted upon food after food and was being spoiled to no end by none other than Gaming himself.

The young boy's willingness to pay for everything and not "disturb" other's, even if he earned that Mora in the hard way, impressed you and his kindness and easygoing side was something you had never seen in a human before.

And considering you were the Creator, that said a lot by itself.

But still... His way was one that could be considered as... "Self-destructive", one that rang the alarms of a troubled childhood even from miles away, and also one which needed to be stopped at one point.

Even if it required the two most essential weapons of a mother: "The Mom Voice" and "The Slipper".

Your thoughts were cut short when you saw your daughter's shy yet puffed out cheeks as Gaming cooed at her, you couldn't help but chuckle as well, leaning down over the orb with both hands on your cheeks and heart combusting and running up the walls from the sudden surge of love you felt for the three young children as the other two coddled your daughter, in their own ways of course.

Aww, a fed Paimon is a happy Paimon, huh?

"And just like that, Gaming is her new favourite friend." You giggled at Paimon's flushed cheeks from the orb you watched, Lumine's smug yet peaceful smile after all the traumatic events she went through brightening your face. Gaming's bright smile wasn't so behind on the race of "radiance", his eyes twinkling in happiness at Paimon's happy and wide smile, feeling proud with himself that he was the reason she was a full and happy child at that moment.

That was exactly what you wanted for your children and people to have: Get along well with each other, learn from each other as everyone experienced the world you served beneath their feet... Not fight for their lives in greed and selfishness.

You sighed in relief when you realized that they were fine and happy, a bit tired perhaps from the hard work earlier but still... They were finally being what they were supposed to be from the beginning as they joked together already.

Two teens and a child, though the latter was questionable since Paimon has been there ever since "the Beginning".

"Gaming is one unique boy, just like many of Your creations, Your Highness... Easily well-loved, and befriended even by 'two outsiders'."

You absentmindedly nodded, you attention straying away from the scene before your eyes as you looked at one of the pillars of Celestia in deep thought.

It was no shocker that humans were... weird, in the eyes of other gods.

You created them with compensation and empathy, with the need to socialise and friend others in their journey. The way they would do it, however, entirely depended on their choices and often times, even when shackled, you watched them in amazement with the different routes they had taken with their life.

Some gods didn't want to question your authority, but couldn't help the questions linger in their minds: Why would you built paths for them when you knew the end? When you knew how they would act?

Well, that was the question forbanother day...

But even with knowing it all, Gaming's behaviour shocked even You, who was the one to set the order.

The sixteen-year-old just... gave and gave and gave at an alarming speed, without ever stopping... Without even asking for anything in return.

That wasn't good at all... A person who gives and gives, who is very self-sacrificing with absolutely zero care about their own emotions, trying to gain people's gratitude so that they would continue the relationship/ friendship, definetly experienced a situation where they felt... Invalidated for their feelings.

And You saw it... Even your daughter, who loved food and tea more than anything, hesitated to accept his request for more food and treats to eat after all the things he bought for her.

But in the end, she was just a child. A child who loved treats, especially if it came from someone else.

"You really liked it, huh?... You know what? I'll buy you a whole bunch and pile them so high, you could swim in 'em!"

"You... You noticed what Paimon likes?" you could hear the slight wavering of your little baby's voice as a gentle smile overtake your whole face, your insides filling up with an unexplainable need to crush her to your chest with many kisses all over her chubby cheeks... Although what he said he would do was a bit impossible.

You always knew your daughter had a very soft heart behind her "ugly nickname giving ceremonies" or her sarcastic answers, even when she unintentionally ( or not, at least when she saw someone she didn't like) spoke too much and too loud.

Lucky of her that she had people who loved her anyways.

It seemed Gaming and Lumine also thought the scene to be wholesome as they both smiled with closed eyes at her obviously touched state, Lumine snickering under her breath as Paimon sniffled and blushed while glancing away from Gaming, who also supported a brotherly smile at her.

"Wait... Seriously? Paimon was just joking, you don't have to do... that!... But if you are going to get us something anyways, we would much rather have Winter Melon Cake instead! And you said you hadn't eaten it for so long, so Paimon calls it a win-win."

"Ah, don't mention it! Just think of this as a thank you for all your help." He waved his hand dismissively as he prepared to leave, doubts and anxiety still swirling in his eyes and soul. Yet, he hid all those behind a warm smile and saddened, downcasted eyes.

But there were things he couldn't hide from one entity...

"Besides, the thing between me and my family... It's a long story. It might take some time to tell. You get all hungry in the meantime as I prepare everything, goodbye!"

With that, Gaming sprintered away from the two travellers who looked from behind him with perplexed eyes. Poor Lumine couldn't understand what had just happened, with both Gaming's "story" and the way he abruptly ran away.

Paimon was busy with getting agitated, having had enough, though.

Fortunately, they weren't the only ones who felt that way... Although Paimon's reasons were different than You and Lumine.

"Is he underestimating Paimon? Hah! The audacity! She is just gonna have to show him how much-"

"Paimon could eat, perhaps?"

"Mama!"

Paimon's angry rambling and flapping of her cape ceased, her happily exclaiming as her eyes lightened up with stars when she zoomed in to where you were waiting for her with a closed eyes smile, leaving a trail of constellations in her excitement, head slightly tilted and arms wide open for her to come crashing into and nuzzle to your warm chest.

It had been such a long time after all, the last time you were peacefully together being Sumeru where you had been hiding to gather all your powers back and lead Lumine to where you were.

After a very emotional reunion, answering a lot of questions about the creation in general and the Abyss and Celestia, saving the Sumeru (as in entirety) and their Archon who was apparently your freakin' granddaughter who was very eager to finally meet her grandmother whose voice was the only thing she was able to hear in her dream...

All of you decided to wait for a bit more until everything settled and this silent war was over, to "descend" onto a very much so eagerly waiting Teyvat and declare Paimon as your youngest daughter.

Oh the amount of war flashbacks some people would have because holy shit, they treated and even insulted her- the Creator's child- so badly, they were sure they would get a very torturing punishment...

"Hello, Your High-" A hard, yet teasing, stare of your starry eyes was all it took for Lumine to sweat anxiously and correct herself with a shy smile, cheeks flushing at your serious yet still soft eyes. It wasn't in your nature to chide and get mad easily, although your eldest children would beg to differ about the previous one. However, for your dear ones, they didn't have to use such honorifics when you were all tightly knitted through the fate you let happen.

Besides, Lumine was just so cute with her bashful forgetfullness of adressing you casually, even when you often reminded her.

"Y/N... I hope you have been fine lately?" You hummed pleasantly as you nodded, patting your daughter's back as she nuzzled to your neck for warmth with a toothy smile.

"Hmm... I really was, thank you Lumine. I hope your journey on Chenyu Vale wasn't so harsh?" You inquired with a turn of your body, the floral designs on your dress and the edge of your long sleeves flowing as if they were slowly moving and your mighty crown standing on your head, shining blindingly and setting fear on enemies.

But it only amazed her further, making her stare at you for the power you held in amazement and how easily you could destroy everything and yet, chose not to.

"It was not as harsh as it was then Inazuma's, it was quite pleasing." She answered after a few seconds of pondering, making you laugh out awkwardly and sweat as she smiled kindly at you, knowing how you still held yourself to blame for what Ei had done to both of them and her own people.

I couldn't show her the right path when she needed her mother the most... Of course, I'm one of the people to blame...

That was what you said when you witnessed the pain Ei's grief and twisted thinking of "Eternity" caused to her people. Grief... Grief often blinded logic and the truth right in front of people, which resulted in unwanted situations and the hurt innocent people would have to face.

The sight of lightining scars across Lumine's petite body, a crestfallen look painted with grief raking through her body as your soft hands slowly touched her scars that you offered to heal... You never felt more disgusting and a failure than you did at the moment.

To which she always replied with " They do not hurt anymore, Your Grace..." with a tight and secure squeeze of her hands over yours as she hugged you, the Creator who felt immense guilt for something that happened out of Their control, because of the wrong doing of something else.

A Creator that felt sadness and compassion for one of Their creations so openly...

"Ah, apologies once again... I wish it was just as pleasant as it was with Liyue and Mondstadt but you know-" you shut yourself up with a forced cough, not wanting to remind her of her bad experiences as you stared at her golden eyes, to which she averted eyes and looked at the horizon bashfully under Paimon's judging eyes.

She really better had a little talk with her about Lumine's treatment towards her mother... Before something else came to her mind.

"Mom... There is something Paimon wants to ask your help with!" She excitedly chirped as she got out of your hold and made a flip, kicking her legs as you laughed out at her energy. It wasn't every day that she would ask something from you, especially that happily as if her request was a bright idea.

"Of course, darling of mine. What is it?"

"It's about Ga-Ming and his family!"

Lumine's smile froze on her face as she nervously looked at Paimon, fiddling with her fingers while hinting at her to stop, to which Paimon ignored. "I don't think it is our place to do something about his family, Paimon."

It wasn't that she didn't want to help him, she did. She already loved Ga-Ming and his energetic bursts, how he was always ready to lend a helping hand. She already considered him to be a friend and as his friend, of course she wanted him to be happy.

She knew the value of family more than anyone else, especially after loosing it, but... She was also aware that some things were supposed to stay between family and solved by them, not by some outsiders.

However, it seemed that Paimon had other ideas. As she started to reject Lumine's idea, saying how much he helped them and gave them and that they had to repay back some way, you raised a brow in question at their banter.

You already had a brief idea of what was going on with his family, courtesy of having 15 children directly related to you with different personalities, and what the problem between the father and son was, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it from them.

"Do you mean his father, sweetheart?"

She nods enthusiastically when Lumine budges in to cut her talk. "Yes, Y/N... But I do think that his problem runs a little bit deeper than we can help him with..."

You nodded at her understandingly, knowing the miscommunication going on has been prolonged far longer than it was necessary. Children often didn't notice much, didn't accept or wanted to accept their parents' expectations of them. They wanted to fly with their own wings, even if it could hurt them at first.

The parents didn't make it easy for them either and most of the times... They didn't want to accept their children wanting to go away and be themselves.

And as a result, both sides would drift apart until the other saw from their point of view, not caring that one wanted freedom and the other wanted safety and security for the other, even if it ended with their child angry at them. As long as they were safe and sound to do so... It was all that would matter, even if it seemed like a disrespect in the eyes of the child.

The stubborness of each side would only result in a distance that would severe the bond more and more with each passing day.

Perhaps... All they needed was a little nudge for them to see what both sides were loosing while they were drowning in their own stubborness?

"You are right, Lumine... However, there is nothing that could not be changed with a little help and a nudge towards the right." You hum with a hand over your chin, forefinger tapping your cheek in thought as you cross your arms over your chest. You soon broke out in a smile, having made your mind as you happily made a little jump.

"I shall help you two achieve your goal! The New Year is coming up and I do not wish any of my children to enter a new year full of new chances while being sad and alone."

You would make sure of that.

[connorsnothereeither]

So, was Ulysses always supposed to be like a dad to Aax, or did it only come about after he was redeemable and wouldn't die at the end?

Definitely the latter! I don’t remember how much I’ve talked about things in depth before in terms of this, or how much I might be forgetting, so Metta or others can definitely correct me here, but he definitely wasn’t going to be Aax’s dad originally, in the slightest. That was a very late game decision. He was originally going to be almost a villain specifically for Aax and Ocie to combat.

Ulysses was originally just going to be involved with Project Leviathan, but would be able to give some information on Proteus (leaving the spot of the person who freed Aax open for a potential guest NPC)! At that stage, he was still going to be evil and die at the end. I remember at one point even pitching to some people (half jokingly) an almost Hannibal Lector style situation where they basically had him locked up in prison behind glass but would come to him for medical information, or for ways to help the gods (it would be why Fable ended up killing him, so that he couldn’t give information that could harm Fable).

Then at some point I think Metta was the one to suggest that Ulysses be the one who freed Aax. It would have just been a spur of the moment, sudden gaining of a conscience in what Ulysses thought would be his last moments. His final good deed, to make up for as much as he could as he realised how wrong he had been all this time, would be to free Aax. To make even the smallest of amends for the harm he’d caused, not because he cared for Aax, but just because Aax was there to be freed. Ulysses would have found that out not long before he died, and would have died knowing he was, despite everything he did, at least trying to do good. He might not have been a good person, but he did something good, in letting Aax out.

But the longer we sat with that idea, that Ulysses would free Aax, the more we developed it! As Ulysses was planned to stick around and not die, and we started to tie in that storyteller aspect, Metta approached me with the ideas for the animated cutscenes! This idea of Ulysses telling stories to taunt Perseus, but eventually growing despondent to the ways of the Telchin, to the point where he freed her. We scripted the four myth animatics (which eventually were cut down to only three, Proteus, Arachne, and Perseus) where they got softer each time, and we actually rewrote the last one to make it more parental and loving, in the end. And then that arc eventually became more of a caring, loving relationship. Where Ulysses viewed Perseus not as “a living thing that deserves a better life” but “the child I care for and who is my responsibility, who I need to give a better life”.

The actual loving parent decision was very last minute. Like as in,,, the few weeks before that reveal stream I think, when we recorded the cutscenes of the final myth and Ulysses freeing Aax, and saying he was proud of them and cared for them. Not quite being able to say he loved them. It basically wasn’t until we were in prestream call and then actively in the stream role playing live that we decided to have Ulysses say he loved Aax and thought of them as his child, and Aax to say that Ulysses was his dad. It just felt so right to play it like that in the moment, even if we hadn’t planned it to be specifically like that.

And I’m so impossibly happy with how those decisions snowballed and came together and formed into the story we have. It’s genuinely one of my proudest moments as a storyteller and creator and it means so much to me and I can’t thank Metta and everyone else involved enough 🫶

[vir-bellanaris]

I love your blog and I hope this doesn’t come across rude but I feel like you and a lot of people are overlooking the glaring issues this game has. The writing is abysmal and they are clearly trying to pander the series towards a new audience. Whatever lore they had built up has not been addressed or has been trickled down into crumbs. That ending with Solas and the inquisitor was ridiculously bad and I don’t think we should praise them for giving us fans crumbs when they had built up this idea of a solavellan reunion and us getting a satisfying resolution. Ghil Dirthalen, a massive creator has openly been shitting on people in a recent tweet because we are ‘upset’ and put it down to people getting too invested into their headcanons. No, it is because we have been waiting for SO long, (some people who have been OG fans since Origins) and their beloved series gets turned into this? I’m tired of seeing empty praise and people not calling out Bioware’s shortcomings. This is the worst dragon age game we have ever gotten and at this point, I hope the IP dies.

Hey, normally I wouldn't post this to my blog cause I'm trying to stay positive but I do agree with everything you've said!

I don't think anything I've seen was "well-written," and I do think people have a right to be disappointed.

But hear me out now, if you will. I am simply thrilled we got a Solavellan resolution. A happy one. One where they don't both die, because honestly fam, that's what I was expecting.

To be frank, I don't care about the game as a whole. It will probably be quite a while before I play it, if I even do. I was solely invested in what happens to Solas and Lavellan.

Bestie, we got a kiss. A kiss. I can't even complain because a year ago I never thought there'd be anything ever again aside from fanwork for those two, my OTP since I was 18.

Am I peeved about some things I've seen, like the lore being messed up, etc, yes. But again, my expectations were rock bottom, so maybe I'm feeling it a bit less.

I'm sorry so many people are so upset, and I'm trying to spread positivity where I can for those who felt let down ❤️🫂

I know how much these stories have meant to people for literal decades. I know how much Solavellan means to so many people. And now, because of the ending we were given, it opens up a whole world where we can explore what happens next for those two.

And as an aside, I know there are people who are LOVING the game and are thrilled with the Solavellan ending (myself included) and the last thing I want to do is take that joy away from them.

[lilybug-02]

The HK comic was very sweet and wholesome and I loved every second of reading it! :3

Also does Dewi give hornet back her thread? Im pretty sure she needs that for silksong when that eventually releases lol

Also to go off on an unrelated tangent/rant, people have been supposedly like up in arms about how "Silksong will never release!" and how "Its taking FORVEVER to come out!" But like.... First of all, its and indie studio. Secondly It was only announced in 2019, which, yeah, was 5 years ago, but with the way people were describing it I thought it was announced like way earlier. And hollow knight was released in 2017, but the way people talk about it makes me think its like a classic from early 2000's or something. Sure, its a good game, but why are people so stuck on the Silksong thing? Like at least you're pretty sure you're probably gonna get a full game when it releases. With other communities/fandoms you'd be lucky to get even an announcement. Like Deltarune for example. Not even Toby Fox was sure he was gonna be able to do it in the first place lol. And if you think 5 years is bad of a wait, imagine waiting for a new LITERALLY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER from Bethesda that isnt the 100th re-re-release gold ultra plus edition of fucking Skyrim again but now on the fucking smart watch or whatever. I'm 90% sure that most of Bethesda's existance as a company has been spent making something for Skyrim instead of working on anything new or original.

Sorry for the random rant btw

Anyways love your art, have a nice day, kay bye imma go die of awkwardness in the corner :)

First off thank you very very much. I am so glad to hear how much you like the Hollow Knight comic. And to answer your question, Hornet allowed Dewi to keep that thread. She gave it to him as a peace offering for helping the bugs get back home and to lead Dewi through the maze like cave. Don't worry, she has PLENTY of thread back in Hallownest.

And regarding the impatience of Silksong. I get it. I am the very lucky few to get into the game NOW. I haven't had to wait as long as the many other people waiting for Silksong to release, and in that regard I am quite spoiled. Yeah, Deltarune won't fully release in at least another 5 years, but I wouldn't want to say I'm morally better for my "patience". Waiting for a game or any kind of media SUCKS. The fandom keeps it alive, but even those can grow stagnant. As long as you aren't harassing the creators or fans of the project, you can be as angry or frustrated or sad as you want. I think it's normal and can help others feel less alone in their feelings as well.

Not to say your points of contention above aren't relevant!!! Patience and kindness are always important to keep in mind with artistic projects. Art is HARD and can be very taxing. I hope I'm not dampening your message. ❤️ Thanks for sharing

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Okay okay okay so I have a VERY hot take...

I don't think the Sovereigns would like the creator. Cuz like it's more likely that the creator is the one that made humans, not the dragons before it. Because why would you create the dragons, and then later on just throw away the idea and push the dragons away when you could have created another planet to put the humans on instead, right?

Neuvi is the exception because he was reborn off on a human body and is technically created by the creator. HOWEVER, imagine that it's the dragon's authority that helps Neuvi realize the creator is the real deal. Like sure, the subtle power that they notice from the creator is there, but like with the authority itself (and being in tune with it as much as he would be when he obtains it), it would be MUCH more obvious.

That brings up the question as to why the archons aren't able to tell, and that's because of their own mind blocking it. How most people work is that whenever they think something is true, it takes a LOT to be able to like change their mind on something if they were wrong. So imagine that they hear of the impostor going around, but whenever they meet them, they feel that power and that pull. But because they've conditioned themselves to think of them as the impostor and not the actual creator, they stay stubborn and just push off that doubt in their minds.

Y'know who wouldn't be like that? FOCALORS (and Nahida cuz Irminsul). Think about it, she barely hears about any sort of like rumors or any badmouthin the cause she's been inside the Oritrice, and because she is made out of water (Oceanid stuff), they're more in tune with the authority. So without that block, they can tell right away during the trial on the "impostor" that they are in fact the real creator, which is why it will ALWAYS say they are innocent, no matter what.

Anyways, kinda went off on a tangent there sorry-

🍌anon

See this is where I ended up deep diving in the wiki by accident at one point that caused me to have this big brain moment.

So we know the Primordial One exists right? This is a canon god that created humans after essentially taking over Teyvat with the Heavenly Principles. That's canon.

So if the Primordial One is already canonically the one who created our characters (essentially)...what the fuck did our creator create?

My answer, Teyvat itself of course. But also the dragon Sovereigns themselves.

But I can already hear you asking, then how did we get to the modern canon of gods? Simple, Teyvat itself is an entity that can control and influence the elements, albeit very little. And with that influence the Heavenly Principles can't fully erase the authority of the creator, instead they rewrite history to favor them.

Saying the Dragons grew tired of being under the creator and chose to rebel, causing the creator to summon the Primordial One (which causes the creator to gain the title of Primordial Mother) to gain aid from. Then we essentially have our original canon mythos that's in the game itself. Essentially it's the same as with any history, written by the victors instead of what the full truth is.

And for why the archons can't recognize the creator is simply because the Heavenly Principles just won't allow them to. Because they've stolen (or attempted to for eons) the authority from the creator.

And here's my own hot take when it comes to the role of the Heavenly Principles, they aren't the creator's friend. They're more like a parasite that's trying to take over what the creator had originally made. Though the reasons I haven't fully thought up honestly. Could be jealousy, a twisted version of obsession, honestly it's up in the air for now.

But I like your hot take! Honestly most aus I've seen where the Heavenly Principles are on the creator's side would fit this very well. Actually it would be interesting if someone did an au where the isekaied protagonist is the reincarnation of the Primordial One and has to deal with the fact that they are trapped in Fontaine because the rage the Hydro Sovereign has would keep them there for all eternity just so he could enact justice on their past life's actions.

[antispopausandstuff]

What do you think about people comparing catra to Caitlyn from arcane

ah, i had a feeling i'd be asked about something along these lines.

okay, so, just to get this out of the way:

i'm aware that Arcane s2 has very polarizing opinions, points of views, and thoughts from the community, and, provided it's nothing extreme, they're all valid. though my words are largely subjective, i want to apply as much objectivity as possible to create a better picture, rather than complete bias with no desire for discussion.

s2, in my opinion, wasn't as well-written as it could've been. i don't hate it, but i would've made different writing choices for the characters, their arcs, etc., and i feel the ending was lackluster as a result of lack of closure. this includes Jinx's own ending, Isha, Vi's cycle of self-destruct and complicated family, and how i feel there was not enough screentime for the plots and characters given, especially Ekko, Mel, Kino, and Ambessa. and i do feel like the writing choices negatively affected Caitlyn's character, as well, even if i do understand and sympathize with her as a person.

objectively speaking, Caitlyn's dictatorship ( i believe that's what it is, iirc ) was more on-screen than Catra's, but Catra's crimes was heavier, quantity wise, including universal genocide.

because of SPOP's disregard for "show, don't tell", amongst several other factors ( Catra being a creator's pet being the main one ), there is little to no actual weight to her actions, even with the main cast. if there is consequences, it's either more personal than it should be, her mental breakdowns or Horde Prime chipping her, or fleeting, the destruction of Salineas. this is likely why people don't care much for Catra's actions, because there's no legitimate consequences that aren't just her being sad // distressed.

but, while not the best, Arcane writers take into consideration the impact of and to the people. Caitlyn's decisions did have consequences, and it affected more than just her. it changed Zaun, and with Silco and Jinx's absence, the people were anxious and needing a beacon in order to feel safe and empowered.

however, i don't think it's as simple as comparing Caitlyn to Catra.

in the eyes of the people, it wouldn't matter, obviously. as a result of taking her grief and thirst for vengeance out on them, the people of Zaun felt even more unsafe when they were already suffering.

but to us, as the audience, we can empathize with grief blinding us and leading us to making poor decisions that end up being detrimental to our and everyone else's health. keyword: empathize.

Caitlyn still hurt people. there is no denying that. i am simply saying that we can understand where she was coming from and that her grief was taken advantage of by Ambessa.

to their world, it's black and white. people suffer and // or die at the hands of someone in power.

to us, it's more or less than that.

still wanting to remain as objective i can be, i will say Caitlyn's are far easier to remember and hold against her, and rightfully so. but i believe that Catra's are worse and should've been displayed as worse, rather than stated or turned around to be a way for us to feel bad for her own downfalls.

now, let's move onto Caitlyn and Vi // Catra and Adora.

like with the season, i prefer s1 CaitVi over s2.

for me, the divide and conflict felt too similar to how their relationship originally started out and was too repetitive. it felt like the writers wanted another reason for them to break apart, when there was a lot of time spent to them forming together.

but i think CaitVi has more room to grow than C // A ever really did.

for one, Caitlyn and Vi have cared for each other more than they've hurt each other. even when they were at odds in s1, there was no point in the story where they left one or the other to die. if something bad happened, it was by circumstance, not by choice.

but Catra had always hurt Adora more than she cared for her. from physically harming her to degrading her, engaging in extreme sadism, and nearly killing her, purposefully, on multiple occasions, there's no actual evidence that Catra deeply cares for Adora, or that she cared to begin with.

for another, Caitlyn had more reason than Catra. Catra was given multiple chances to make better choices, but she never did and it was intentional and out of spite.

what was Caitlyn going to do with the fact her mother was killed, that her girlfriend's sister was the murderer, and that her girlfriend stopped her from doing from killing the culprit because she thought she'd kill a kid instead?

of course, it was highly likely that she would've killed Isha. again, blinded by grief. but Caitlyn didn't think that way. in her mind, she has more evidence of being an excellent shot than not, so, obviously, the possibility of her killing the child was 0, right?

( and i don't think Caitlyn cheated on Vi with Maddie. i read the end of their argument as a break-up, especially because Vi disappeared. )

and, for one last thing, even when she knew Vi didn't trust her and kept fighting with her, Caitlyn still tried to help.

overall, i think CaitVi did have a... meh(?) ending, but i still prefer them over C // A. if nothing else, for the foundation.

i don't think Caitlyn and Catra are the same. i just think the Arcane writers had more respect for their audience than SPOP did.

[thankskenpenders]

And now for something new

So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!

Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.

If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...

Number one: Why?

Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?

And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.

Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?

NO!!!!!!!!!

Okay but prove it

To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.

If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!

This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.

It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.

(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)

Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!

I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.

I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.

(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)

Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.

So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.

Look forward to goofy shit like this