#I wouldn't be able to finish all at once and I'd probably forget where I left off

[grassbreads]

Thinking about doing something silly

(homestuck reread liveblog)

[izanyas]

hi ok this is gonna be really damn long i think Very sorry in advance... so i recently got into bungou stray dogs and when looking around on twitter i saw someone recommend your fics as, quote, some of the best bsd fics ever written, and in the past month i have read a LOT of them. like, probably most of them. i have a folder in my google tabs for all my favourites, some of which include "light", which inspired so much kouyou + chuuya siblings thoughts in my mind, "growing back", which was just really nice and i generally really enjoyed, and "feet over harsh ground", which actually made me lose my damn mind over how good it was, both in premise and the carry out. your writing style is AMAZING and i have no idea where you get your ideas from because every one of the fics of yours that i read was so incredibly memorable and enjoyable that i think it will be a long time before i forget any of them, and btw i still have MORE i haven't read yet but i am planning to whenever i get the chance. but recently i started reading "build upon the ruins" - and oh my GOD. its four am as i type this, and i fully finished it about twenty minutes ago. it's taken me a couple weeks to read the whole fic in full because i've been busy with work and stuff but this morning i binged the last three or so chapters and i seriously cried so hard i thought i was gonna be sick 😭 like holy shit the emotional rollercoaster that i went through reading that was SO PAINFUL yet SO GOOD.... 73.5k words that i will never fully forget because it was so gorgeously written and beautifully structured that i actually feel sad that i'm not into the same things that you're currently writing for, whatever that may be, because i'd love to read more and more of your writing literally forever and be able to feel this same feeling over and over. every time i get into a new interest and eventually start reading fanfiction, i always think i've found That One Fic Writer that's made me feel a way i'll never feel again, and i think you've seriously topped them all with build upon the ruins. to the point where i searched up your name on twitter in an attempt to see if anyone else had felt this same pain over the same fic, only to accidentally stumble upon your actual twitter - i don't know why i thought you wouldn't have one, probably because you didn't have an ao3 (if you had your twitter or tumblr linked anywhere on your fic website i didn't see it LOL) [note from after me editing this ask - you do have your socials linked i'm just a dumbass -__-]. anyway i felt the need to send this long ass ask to tell you how your writing made me feel because it was just that utterly brilliant and i seriously feel like a different person than who i was before i read your fics 😭 probably a slight exaggeration but like i said it's four am and i am incredibly emotional over that fic right now. i don't know what else to say other than something cringe like "thank you for putting your writing out there for me to stumble upon years or months or whatever after you wrote it" or something like that LMAO... sorry for all this at once but i wanted to get all my thoughts out there before i went to bed and lost the feeling of having just read a really damn good fic. anyway cheers i wish you luck in whatever you're up to now BYE

slight side note - did not know build upon the ruins was a pacific rim au until after i read the entire thing. i have never seen pacific rim. i deeply enjoyed the fic anyway and will definitely be watching that movie whenever i get the chance

ANON... I LOVE YOU... i have been staring at this message all day incapable of formulating a reply because i'm so smug happy and flustered over it afgjhdfjkfd THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! it always makes me feel warm whenever people read my old bsd fics and tell me about it, i loved writing and sharing them so much and i know that a lot of people who follow me today did so because they read them at the time!!!

and build upon the ruins is a special one for me, i went quite literally insane the second the idea for that au popped into my mind and i barely slept until i finished writing it... it's so sweet of you to say all this and to take the time to message me! especially since i am actually re-reading it myself at the moment and i intend to run an edit of it soon (just fixing grammar/style, my habits have changed since 2017 haha). it holds a very dear place in my heart!! thank u guillermo del toro for inventing drift compatibility for soukoku

thank you so much!!!

[k-odyssey]

Thoughts on tvn's Happiness (ep 9 & 10)

There's something very biblical about pouring your (pure) blood so that the sinners infected will show themselves? Or did the christian symbols get to me? It's a shame the sacrificial lamb got scratched and everything is a mess.

10 episodes and I still get surprised and scared when people turn. It's hard to consistently keep creating tension but they do it. It's also hard to make a show that requires tension that I won't find unwatchable, but they're also doing it.

Often the soundtrack really helps building up that tension, but here while he was walking around the room with his bloody hand extended, the silence was very effective. You could taste anticipation in the air.

I've said it already, but I love the foreshadowing in Happiness. There's some solid writing in there, and not just spur-of-the-moment plot twists. Like, did I find it very strange that the pastor was repelling zombies at the time? Yup. Did I consider the fact that he might be infected? Yes, briefly. Did I put that aside and kinda forget it because the writer redirected my attention elsewhere? 100%.

The fact that this one moment made the cop friend find god but had a scientific explanation??? I love that so much. I'd love more of that on tv pls.

There were also hints about the supermarket girl and I had not at all made the connection.

I looked up the writer and for once, it's a man. He did write WATCHER which I started and did not finish, because it had a definite lack of women and no romance. I don't know what he's been doing since 2019—well I kinda do, he's been living through a pandemic like the rest of us—but I like the direction in which he's taking his work.

The science feels a little shaky, but it's vague and in the background enough that I don't care too much. They don't do the thing where they keep shoving their "high tech" equipment in your face while speaking nonsense about DNA or whatever.

To get back to the important stuff: I wish Yi Hyun would tell the truth!!! He was bound to get infected, what with always jumping in to save the day. But even if it makes sense, I hate it. I also hate it because, and I hadn't noticed it at first but only after I finished episode 10 and thought about it, he's been more distant from Sae Bom since he got scratched. And I thrive on their intimacy so this hurts.

They're a team, and he promised he would say if it happened!! I know that it's his well-documented protective instincts acting out and he's doing this out of love but ARGH! You can't just sacrifice yourself without discussing it. Well, if you discuss it, it's true that you won't be able to sacrifice yourself cause she won't let you.

It's killing me that she noticed all the signs, but he knows her well enough to fool her.

I said last week that Han Tae Seok and Yi Hyun are similar and it's confirmed this week. HTS knew immediately that Hyun was infected, cause he probably would've done the exact same thing if it were him. I still think Hyun wouldn't go as far as manipulating others the way HTS does though.

I haven't said anything about Sae Bom yet, but it's not because I don't love her. She keeps being an awesome character, and I do particularly enjoy watching her when she's angry. If they didn't show her tender side, I'd feel differently I think. But she's both warm AND scary. She's magnetic, I see why Hyun made her his god.

Not sure what to say about the residents. I'm not feeling as indulgent as Hyun, thinking about them. It's amazing how quickly the apartment complex has become a lawless place. Also the ratio of murderers is way too high, even though the ratio of police officers in presence is also very high. We have a serial killer in the building??? What are the chances???

The actor playing creepy/evil upstairs neighbour is doing such a good job, my god I hate his guts. Shout out to the guy playing the lawyer as well, would you believe I keep yelling at his wife through the screen to strangle leave him?

Actually, they're all doing a good job. I also have unmentionable thoughts about the representative lady, although she looked genuinely devastated by her husband's death and for a moment there, I believed she was human. Maybe they're all too human.

The ending this week though?? You're gonna stand outside while someone is being killed so you can take their assets?? While a child is in there with a murderer?? This is reminiscent of the worst kinds of wartime stories.

PS: I think it's genius to have a countdown followed by a counter (?). Really drives the point home that there's nothing to look forward to now, we're just marking the passing of time and hoping there's an end to this.

[dragon-kazansky]

Made with love | Helmut Zemo

Chef Zemo AU! 👨‍🍳

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 2

The next morning, after finding somewhere to grab some breakfast, Escorpión Morado not being open until later, you had explored some more of the city. You managed to cross off a few other places on Wanda's list.

There was a really pretty park in the middle of a residential area that you took a walk through. It looked so different from the rest of the city, it was nice.

There was something so homey in this city. Bakeries where the smell of warm pastry dragged through the doors, families walking and laughing in the streets. When you returned to the square, there were stalls set up, and many of the shops around were open. You decided to browse and see, maybe you could find a souvenir.

There were all kinds of trinkets and gadgets on the stalls. You spent most of the time just admiring them.

One stall, rather close to Escorpión Morado, had lots of small trinkets on necklaces. You stood over it and admired them, one in particular catching your eye. You pick it up and admire it.

It's a coin. An old coin. You turn it over in your hand, running your thumb across it.

"It's an old Sokovian coin."

You turn at the sound of the voice, smiling when you saw it was Helmut. He was smiling handsomely at you, you hoped it wasn't showing on your face that you were thinking that.

"It's quite pretty," you say, looking back at the coin.

Helmut hands the stall owner some money, you want to ask what's he's doing, but it's quite obvious as to what he was doing. He turns to you and takes the necklaces from your hand.

"Turn around."

You do as he says. Helmut puts the necklace on for you. You look down at the coin hanging over your chest.

"There you go."

"You didn't have to do that," you say, looking back up at him. He shrugs and looks at you, seemingly quite smug that he had spent money on a stranger.

"You said it was pretty."

"It is, but that wasn't code for 'buy it for me.'"

He chuckles.

"Would you like some coffee?" He asks, completely ignoring your statement.

"Uh, sure."

He gestures to the open doors of his restaurant. You thank the stall owner and walk with Zemo into Escorpión Morado. He leads you over to a table and then leaves your side to go behind the bar.

You get comfortable and watch as he makes some coffee for you both. It's quiet right now, so you assumed he didn't mind doing this.

Zemo returns. He places a cup in front of you and sits down opposite you. He smiles and looks at you intently. You narrow your gaze at him, but understand he's waiting for you to try the coffee. You pick up the cup, blown it lightly, it was freshly made after all, and take a sip.

You smile at him.

"Well?" He asks, grinning.

"That's good."

"Just good?"

"Amazing. The food, the coffee, the atmosphere, everything here is so good," you chuckle.

Zemo looks pleased with your answer.

"I'm glad to hear that. I do my best to impress," he winks at you. You glance down, feeling rather shy, and sip your coffee again.

You have no idea why he made you feel like a teenager with a crush. This man you hardly knew and have only known two days has all the power to make you feel shy.

Wanda was only teasing you yesterday, right? Of course she was.

Helmut placed his arms on the edge of the table and leaned forward a little bit. You were fighting to not look at his arms which were on view again, trying not let how strong they looked get to you.

"How is my country treating you?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious. Though you supposed he was used to speaking like that. He seems like someone who has ease getting along with others. He must meet so many different people every day.

"Sokovia is wonderful. I'll be sad to leave it when I go."

"When do you leave?"

"I'm only booked in for two more nights, then I'll be on my way to see more of Europe."

"What a shame that your stay is so short," he says, rather solemnly.

"My intentions are to travel as much as Europe as I can. Though I will be returning home soon. I'm here for my friend."

"Ah yes, you did say as much."

You drink what's left of your coffee, missing it already. Everything this man makes leaves you wanting more.

"Would you like another?"

You look at your cup.

"Maybe just one more," you say shyly, biting your lip. It was as if he was able read your mind. He chuckled and took your cup, going to make you both another cup.

Since it was so quiet in here right now, you hoped me wouldn't mind you speaking up to chat with him. Normally you would be so anxious to do that.

"I hope I'm not being too much trouble for you. It's quiet now, but I'd hate to be keeping you from your work."

He smiled over at you.

"No trouble. I am always happy to have at least one person in here. Though with the market in town, I am sure to be busy later."

"I'll be sure to be out of your hair by then," you say, smiling.

"No need to rush off," he comes back, two freshly made coffees in his hand. He puts one down in front of you, just like before, and then sits down across from you again.

"I could spend all day in here," you tell him, unable to admit that to him while looking him in the eye.

"You are welcome to," he sips his coffee.

You watch him for just a moment.

"I'll only get in your way."

"Nonsense, you?"

"Yes, of course I will. Sitting here, taking up a table. You expect to be busy, don't you?"

"I do, but you can sit up at the bar."

"You sound like you want me to stay," you laugh softly.

"Is that so bad?" He asks, eyebrow raised and grin on his face.

"Isn't it weird? We met yesterday. Are you like this with everyone you meet?" You narrow your eyes at him.

"I told you yesterday, only with the interesting ones." He finishes his coffee and sits back in the chair, hands resting on his knees as he looks at you.

"Flatter me all you like, it's not working," you say, drinking the last of your coffee and standing up.

"You'll be back."

"We shall see," you grab your things, leave some money on the table, and make your leave.

He watches you go.

Sam comes out from around the back, adjusting his sleeves. He sees Zemo staring at the open door, two empty cups on the table in front of him.

"Missing them already?"

Zemo turns his head and looks at Sam, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he rises from the chair, tucks it back under the table, and grabs the two cups.

"Mind your own business Sam, we have things to do today."

Sam would resist mentioning that despite that statement being true, Helmut had literally just sat down with you chat and drink coffee.

Zemo took the cups into the back to clean.

You walked across the square and decided to head back to your hotel room for a bit.

Wanting to prove the handsome chef wrong, you didn't go back to the restaurant the next day, and almost didn't go the day after, but changed your mind. Your flight was in a few hours, you would be leaving Sokovia behind.

You had taken many photos for Wanda. She would be pleased with seeing her country again.

Now it was your final day and the least you could do was say bye to him. He had been so friendly to you.

You enter the restaurant. It's busier today. The staff are working hard to see to everyone. You don't see Helmut out front, he must be in the back.

This wasn't really a huge deal anyway. You grab a a piece of paper from a notebook you keep on you, and scribble out a note. Nothing too long, just a little thank you. A man comes over, asking if he can get you something.

You smile at him. He's tall, dark hair, blue eyes. Does everyone who works here look this good?

"I'm good actually, could you give this to the owner for me?" You hand over the folded note, Helmut's name written neatly on it. The man takes it from you and nods, putting it in his pocket for now. You thank him and leave.

You felt a little sad you didn't to see him, but he was busy. It wouldn't matter anyway. He would soon forget you, and you would probably forget about him in time.

Your flight leaves on time and you're on your way to complete the last of your trip.

Zemo is sweating when he exits the kitchen, wiping at his brow with a towel. He steps out back for a bit of fresh air. The cool breeze is a welcome feeling as he takes a deep breath. It has been non stop today.

You hadn't come in the last couple of days. He had noticed. Helmut had been keeping an eye on who was coming and going just in case you came back. He wanted to talk to you some more. He hadn't realised just how many days it had been.

Bucky pushed open the door and looked around, upon seeing Zemo standing there, he approached him, letter in hand.

"This was left for you."

Helmut looks up and narrows his gaze on the letter. He takes it from Bucky and opens it, looking at the rather rushed handwriting. He could tell this was written last minute.

Dear handsome restaurant owner,

How sad I am that I missed you, but you were working away so hard in your kitchen. I must say it was thrilling to see your restaurant so full of people.

I return home today. I was hoping to see you once more before my flights, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your country and for sharing your wonderful food. I will tell all my friends about it.

I don't know if or when I'll be back, but I hope that if i find myself in Sokovia again, I'll be finding myself at your restaurant.

See you, maybe.

Y/N

He smiled at your letter. You had been here and he missed you because he was busy cooking. He almost hated how that worked out. He folds your letter and tucks into his pocket. Bucky doesn't ask about it as he goes back inside.

Helmut chuckles to himself.

He can only hope fate brings you back his way. His new favourite customer.

Wanda was at the airport to pick you up after your European trip came to an end. She hugged you tightly as you got closer to where she was waiting. She was smiling. Wanda had missed you.

"You have to tell me all about it!" She insisted.

"Where do I even begin?" You chuckle, looping your arm with hers as you walked to the car.

"Sokovia, obviously." Wanda takes your bag and puts it into the car. You climb in and wait for her to start driving before speaking.

"I went to several countries before I got there," you chuckle.

"But Sokovia is the most important. I want to hear about that man you met," she smiles, eyeing you from the drivers seat.

"What about him?"

"Exactly, tell me everything. I want to know about your little romance."

"There wasn't a romance."

"Well, whatever it was, I want to know."

"I made a friend. That's all. I told you about him. Helmut Zemo, he owns his fathers restaurant now."

"Ah yes, you didn't answer my question properly. Was he cute?"

"Yes. Cute, handsome, charming. This man has it all."

"And he can cook," she grinned. "Husband material."

"Shut up, Wanda." You shake your head at her, smiling softly.

Your hand raises to the necklace you were wearing, remembering him fondly. You were missing him.

You were missing a perfect stranger.

@namethathasnotbeentaken @belle82devart @cathrin2405 @lieutenantn @wilder-fangirl @latenightartist-author @lucky-luck-lucky @hb8301 @charistory @thatoneartgalsstuff @thesuitkovian @malkaviangirl @zemosimp420 @realremyd @the-chaotic-cow @lostghostgirl94 @zafiro-draco @lazygurl05 @pinkcutiepiee @goddessofmischief03 @whovianayesha @myybebe @awesomesauce-abbie @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemo-is-my-muse @nonamec0s @apparrio @scuttle-buttle

[bunnyywritings]

true love’s kiss

tenya iida x gn!reader

word count: 1.5k

requested by @coleluuviida : So may I request a iida tenya x gn! reader? The plot I want is where reader likes reading a lot of books and comics, they will read romance, action, horror, etc. So then one day reader and the dekusquad are eating lunch together, reader was quick eating their lunch so that they can continue reading their book but then iida ask about what their reading and reader go on and on how, and why they like the story with passion iida was listen with joy even the dekusquad are listening in. After that reader let iida borrow their book the rest is up to your imagination!

[a/n: thank you so much for trusting me with your request sweetheart!! i’m sorry it took so long but here it is, i hope you enjoy! I kinda got carried away...it’s been a while since i’ve properly written so i apologize if it’s not very good :/ without further adieu, here’s some adorable iida content cause he’s the best and deserves the world - yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´-]

It was never strange to see you with your nose buried in between the pages of a book. Your friends found it endearing.Some people, literally just Bakugou, found it a bit ridiculous. 

Denki and Kirishima made a game out of it. They would bet on the genre you were reading purely based on your reactions alone. If your cheeks ever got flushed and your eyes wide, 10/10 it was probably a cheesy romance manga. If your brows were furrowed and your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, it was a mystery novel. A forlorn look in your eyes ment it was some type of magical book with Knights, Wizards, and Dragons (oh my!)

But somebody in particular, albeit enamored by your love of literature, was also concerned.

Iida was in your group of friends and so he had witnessed first hand your obsession with finishing a book. Sometimes you wouldn't eat during lunch because you were so enthralled and when he did get you to eat something, you raced to finish your food so you could grab your book once more and pick up where you left off. You weren't much of a talker and no one at the table really minded your lack of conversation and let you be.

However, this time around, it was different. Iida noticed the bags under your eyes and knew that you hadn't been sleeping. You had been engaging in class and you were keeping up with your studies but the second you guys were allowed a break or you all were let out for lunch, you picked up your book and resumed reading.

Even as you walked with them to the cafeteria, your eyes hadn't left the page. You had your book in one hand and your other was gripping the end of Shoto's blazer, leading you to where you needed to go.

 "It must be a really good one this time." Kirishima muttered to Denki, both watching in amusement as you were being led around by a nonchalant Shoto.

So as you sat at the lunch table, Iida watched in concern. Even with your favorite food in front of you, you still hadn't put the book down. As much as he hated what he was about to do, he just couldn't do nothing.

"(Y/n), as much as I hate to disrupt your reading...I must know, is a book really more important than sleep? Or more important than eating a healthy meal?"

All conversation came to a screeching halt. No one had ever really disrupted your reading before...so no one knew what to expect when Iida spoke up. The seconds were tense as they ticked by and as you moved your hand, they all held their breath, but instead of bookmarking your page, your finger deftly slipped under the corner of the page and turned to the next one.

 "Huh...they didn't even hear you." Ochako giggled.

Sighing, Iida reached over and placed his hand flat on the pages, successfully obstructing your view of the letter on the pages.  

"(Y/n)..."

Normally, you'd be a slight bit annoyed that someone had interrupted you but it was Iida. Sweet, sweet Iida.

"Oh. Sorry." Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, "I must've not heard you. What's wrong?"

Iida sighs.

“I'm just concerned, is all. What's got you so interested?"

 "You really want to know?" He noticed how your eyes twinkled with excitement.

 "Yes, I really want to know."

And with that, you went off on a whole tangent.

Explaining the story from the very beginning. Giving character description with wild and elaborate hand gestures. Even going as far as adding sound effects to fight scenes. This was nothing new for Shoto or Midoriya. They had often asked about the stories you read and quite enjoyed hearing you re-tell them. Shoto never had anyone tell him bedtime stories but he assumes

this is what they would've been like.

Iida was stunned. Absolutely stunned. He's never seen you speak about something so passionately, other than the time he had asked you why you wanted to be a hero.

So as you went on and explained what you've been reading, he felt himself fall even more. He was intently listening.

You had been reading a rom-com style, action book about two knights going on a quest to slay a dragon to break an evil curse. There were wizards and mystical forest creatures. Once you finished, you had asked if he wanted to read it once you were done.

Now...this wasn't really Iida's cup of tea. Don't get him wrong, he loves sitting and enjoying a book but fantasy books

aren't really his style.

  "So..? Would you want to read it? Ya' know, see for yourself?" The look in your eyes was absolutely adorable, he couldn't possibly say no.

    "S-Sure, I'd love to borrow it."

He wasn't too worried though, you still had a few chapters to go and surely you'd forget about it.

Boy was he wrong.

As he was getting ready for bed, the knock on his door confused him. Upon opening the door, there you stood in your pajamas

with the book tightly clutched in your hands.

    "Sorry I took so long but here you go. Let me know what you think." You had an excited smile playing on your lips.

    "Oh...thank you." He reached out and took the book from your outstretched grasp.

He read through the first chapter before going to bed, slightly intrigued.

It took him about a month to read, maybe a little longer since he definitely took breaks and focused more on school than anything...but eventually, he finished. 

You had been hanging out in the common room when Iida had walked in, book in hand. It took you a while to notice since  you had been buried in another . 

    “Oh, hey Iida!” Ochako grinned. 

You turned and took notice of what was in his possession and your smile grew.

    “You finished! What’d you think?” 

    “Uhm well, it was quite...quite interesting-” He was fumbling with his words, something that’s a bit unusual for him. 

    “Oh...you didn’t like it?” your face fell and his heart dropped a little.

    “No, no! What I mean is that-!”

    “It’s okay, you can be honest. It’s not for everyone.” 

    “I did like it but there’s something that I didn’t quite understand. Why would they risk leaving the magma gem? From my understanding, it would’ve given them the abilities needed to slay the dragon.” The complete and utter confusion on his face was adorable. 

    “Come on, Ingenium!” You chuckled quietly. “If they had gotten the gem, they wouldn’t have been able to save their partner. Remember, sometimes the best strategy is to run and get help instead of fighting a fight that you can’t win.” 

    “But they didn’t even slay the dragon!”

    “They didn’t because that wasn’t needed to break the curse. The only way to break the curse was with true love’s kiss.” 

    “That’s not very logical. How would that break a deadly curse?” 

    “Don’t underestimate the power of love, Iida. It’s quite strong.” 

Upon hearing those words he looked up from the book and into your eyes...had they always been that mesmerizing? His heart hammered in his chest as he parted his lips to speak once more. 

    “W-would you show me?” This was a big leap of faith for him. He had confided in Midoriya a while ago when he realized his feelings for you, and ever the observant one, Midoriya had a feeling that you felt the same way. There had been multiple times where he had caught you gazing longingly at the class rep. 

Now you...you were stunned. Your cheeks had flushed red and your mouth was agape. Taking your silence as a rejection, he swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head. 

    “I apologize, that was quite forward of me. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He placed the book down on the couch and got up. Once he turned away from you, you had realized that the words in your head never left your mouth so you reached out and grabbed his wrist. 

        “Wait…” your voice was barely above a whisper but he heard you and turned back around. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I’m just surprised that you feel the same way I do.” 

There was a small silence that followed but your body seemed to move on its own. You held his face in your hands, the feeling of your thumbs gently caressing his cheekbones sent the butterflies into a frenzy. 

    “Can I still kiss you?” Your voice was hesitant, quiet, and it made him smile, gazing into your eyes with such a fondness that it made your stomach do flips. 

    “Yes...please.” 

That was all you needed before leaning in, his eyes and yours fluttered shut as your lips met. Both of you were unsure but he trusted you and you trusted him. The feeling of his lips moving languidly with yours was absolutely euphoric. He tasted like mint and black tea, and his lips were soft. Gaining confidence, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. 

After finally pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours. 

    “Believe it’s strong enough now?” 

    “Hmm…” His chest vibrated as he hummed in feign thoughtfulness. “I may need more convincing.”

[hawkss-whore]

(pic credit: viol_vrt on twt)

At Home Meal (NSFW 18+)

You felt like surprising Hawks today. So you spent hours cooking a nice meal and getting ready. You cleaned the house and set candles around the house. You put on a nice red skin tight dress with your hair up in a ponytail with curls. You didn't put on too much makeup, just a bit of mascara, eye shadow, and lip gloss. You were getting nervous the closer the time came for Hawks to get home. You were looking at your phone constantly, checking the time over and over. Then you heard keys nearby, he was home.

Hawks: Hey babybird, today was a long day-

Hawks just stands at the door looking at you

Y/n: What? Is something wrong?

Hawks: Did- Did you do all of this for me baby?

Y/n: Yeah, I just thought we deserved some romance, we haven't had much of it lately. Do you like it or is it too much? Sorry I just wanted it to be special but I guess I kind of went overboard, I even wore this nice dress but maybe I should have worn something more simple. I'm sorry-

Hawks: No no babybird. I love it. This is amazing, and you look so sexy in that dress like wow. I mean you always look sexy but damn babybird, what did I do to deserve someone like you. This is beautiful, it's perfect.

You sigh, okay good at least he didn't think I was going overboard. You felt yourself relax as the most stressful part already passed. He said he loved it, that's all that mattered.

You both ate the meal you cooked for him. It felt nice, finally being able to be with him. Even if it wasn't at some fancy restaurant, everything felt perfect like if it was a dream, a dream come true. You both laughed and joked around while you ate. It felt like that teenage love, the one where the possibilities are endless and where anything is possible. God you loved him so much. You wished this moment would never end. As you both finished your meal you got up to start washing the dishes and cleaning. As you're starting to wash dishes Hawks comes up behind you and grabs your hips, pulling you towards him.

Y/n: Hawks, stop that. I need to clean up.

Hawks: *he whispers in your ear*  The dishes can wait. I'm in the mood for dessert baby

Y/n: Dessert? From where? I didn't make any, wait I can go to the store and buy us some cake or ice cream, Dessert?? How could I forget!

Hawks: *giggles* You are just so adorable aren't you feather? God sometimes I don't know how that innocent little brain of yours ended up falling for me

Y/n: What are you talking abou-

Hawks: *growls in your ear* You're my dessert baby, you and that tasty, soft, sexy body of yours. I want to eat it all up. I wanna taste every inch of you. And it's not fair if only I have dessert, so why don't we both serve each other on a platter and dig in. You like the sound of that baby?

Y/n: I- Right now? Are you sure? Bu-

Hawks kisses you roughly before you can finish your sentence

Hawks: Cmon babybird, let's do less talking and more kissing

Hawks picks you up and sets you on the island in the kitchen. He starts kissing your neck while leaving small hickies behind. God it felt so good. You started breathing fast and moaning softly. I hate how good he is at making me melt in his hands.

Hawks: Already aroused babybird? We haven't even started *chuckles*

Ugh, you hated how much he teased you. But at the same time, you loved it so much. And speaking of teasing, he started to trail his finger, from your chest, to your stomach, to just above your panties. You tensed up. You knew what was coming next.

Hawks: Oh am I getting too close? Do you want me to keep going or to stop here?

You hated when he did that, he knew you wanted him to keep going but he wanted to tease you. He always wanted you to beg for the thing both of you knew you wanted. You let out soft moans, maybe he'll accept that as a yes.

Hawks: I need you to tell me you want it babybird, I wanna hear you say you want my fingers in you

Fuck, you were growing desperate, he was right there why couldn't he just do it? It was starting to stress you out. You NEEDED him to put his fingers inside you. So you did what he said.

Y/n: Please, finger me daddy. Please I beg you, I need your fingers inside me. I'm desperate for your touch.

Hawks: *grins* That's more like it babybird

He starts fingering you. You try to hold back the moans, but it's so hard. He starts with one finger then not long after slides a second one in. God it felt so good. He kisses your neck as he continues to finger you. You are struggling to keep yourself under control, to keep yourself from screaming from satisfaction.

Hawks: Aww cmon songbird. Let me hear that beautiful song of yours. I wanna hear every single note. I want to know that you like this. Doesn't matter who hears, I won't stop till you scream my name as your cumming.

Fuck. You knew he was serious. He wouldn't let you cum until you were screaming his name. What if the neighbors hear? How would they look at me? God that would be so embarrassing. But we can worry about that when it happens, because right now I don't think I could be quiet even if I tried to. God this man knows how to use his fingers.

Your moans started to escape your mouth, they spilled out of your mouth as you stopped trying to hold them back. You were so loud they probably heard you outside. But you didn't care, because you felt so good right now.

Hawks: God baby you are so sexy. I think I want a taste of that. Don't mind if I do.

Hawks starts kissing you, slowly making his way down to where his fingers were. You twitched the closer his mouth got to its destination. You waited, he was taking his time on purpose. You wanted to just push his head down to speed up the process, but you knew it'd be worse for you than him if you did that. So you waited for what felt like a lifetime. Of course, he can't do anything without teasing you first.

Hawks: Do you feel how close I am babybird? Do you feel my hot breath on your inner thighs? Oh twitching? Are you that desperate for my tongue baby? Should I keep going? Or should I-

You couldn't wait anymore, you got impatient. You crossed your legs and pushed hawks face into your pussy. Cutting him off before he could even finish what he was gonna say. You might get in trouble but right now, you NEEDED his tongue in you. Whatever happens later, whatever punishment you get doesn't matter. Right now you needed this.

Hawks: Wow songbird, awfully needy aren't you? I'll let it slide this one time. I love how desperate you are for my touch. I love that right now, i'm the only one who can get you to cum. So, don't mind if I do.

He continues to tongue fuck you, it felt so good. Your eyes were rolling in the back of your head. Wow that man sure can use his tongue for something more useful than  talking. You couldn't contain yourself. You were struggling to stay still. This gave Hawks more confidence, knowing you were falling apart right in front of him because of what he was doing.

Y/n: I- I'm going to cum

Hawks: Oh are you now songbird? Then let's speed the process up shall we?

Y/n: Yes, please daddy make me cum. I beg you. I'm so close. Please jus-

You came. It felt amazing. Your eyes were rolling in the back of your head. You were struggling to breathe. Wow that was just amazing. You felt like every bit of energy was just drained from you.

Hawks: Oh kid, were not done here. That was just the beginning.

Hawks picks you up and carries you to the bedroom. You were so tired. But I still wanted more. You wanted to feel every part of his body on you. You wanted to return the favor and make him feel good.

Hawks: Now, how about we shut that mouth of yours with my cock

He didn't let you answer. He quickly picked you up. You were now standing in 69 position.

Hawks: Now, why don't you suck my cock with that pretty face of yours feather?

You do. You start sucking his dick. You use both hands as well. You want to show him what you can really do. You can hear him moaning. It felt so good knowing he was moaning because of you. You feel his breathing against your inner thighs, no he can't be serious. He starts tongue fucking you again.

Y/n: Hawks no. I can't take it. I already cummed once I can't take anymor-

You were cut off by your own moans escaping from your mouth

Hawks: This is punishment for forcing me to eat you out like that earlier. Don't get me wrong it turned me on but i'd like to do things at my pace. You didn't actually think i'd let it slide now did you babybird? Even a bird brain would know that. Wow look at that, still dripping wet. Let me clean that up for you

Fuck! You knew he wasn't gonna let it slide. But god was it so hot. You sucking his dick while he's eating your pussy. The room was filled with moans.

Not long after, you were both on the verge of orgasming. Then, it happened. You both orgasmed at the same time. Wow did it feel amazing. You both were out of breath, struggling to breathe.

Hawks: Wow songbird, didn't know you had that in you. Now, how about I put something else in that pussy of yours huh?

Y/n: O-okay

Hawks: Do you not want me to kid? Cause to me it sounds like you don't want me to. I won't give you something you don't want. So if you do want it, beg. Beg for me to fuck you so hard you can't walk tomorrow.

Why does he always have to tease? It's so annoying. But boy does he look so hot when he does. The dominance. Knowing he could do anything and that you were his and only his. Ugh he was just so damn sexy and irresistible.

Y/n: Yes daddy. Please f- fuck my pussy. Fuck me so hard that I can't walk. Please, I beg you.

Hawks: That's more like it

He throws you on the bed and quickly climbs on top of you. And without hesitation, he puts his cock inside of you. You flinch at first, but god did it feel good. It was pain and pleasure at the same time. You thought to yourself, I can't orgasm 3 times, I will lose my mind.

Hawks: How do you like that babybird? Why don't you sing me that song of yours again. I wanna hear it echoing through the room. I wanna hear you screaming baby, won't you do that for daddy?

Y/n: *shaky breath* Y- yes D- daddy

Hawks: That's a good songbird. I'm gonna fuck you till you can't walk. I'm gonna have to carry you everywhere after this. I am gonna destroy you kid.

Oh it was so hot when he was dominant. When he spoke about destroying you. Wow, you were struggling to even think straight at this point. You were a mess, the mascara running down your face, you drooling and struggling to breathe. It was all a beautiful mess.

You were both about to cum again. You can tell he was because you felt his cock pulsating like it did when he was about to cum. And he could tell you were too, he felt your pussy tightening around his cock as you got close to your orgasm.

Hawks: Aww fuck babybird! I can feel it, you need to cum too right? Well cum, cum for daddy. Let's cum together kid. God, I'm so close! I-

And just like that, You both cummed at the same time again. You were so tired, you quickly felt your limbs fall. That was a wild ride. You felt so good.

Hawks: FUCK BABYBIRD! You sure know how to milk a cock dry. How did I get so lucky with such a beautiful girl who has such a sexy body? I just wanna kiss every single part of that sweet body of yours. But right now, I think we're both pretty tired out. I know I am.

Y/n: Yeah. But what about the dishes, we left everything out I should go clean it up-

Hawks: Shhh we can do that tomorrow babybird, right now I just want to cuddle you. I want to hold you and play with your hair. You deserve some love after what you just did cause wow baby, you were amazing. I love you for more than just your body, you know that right kid?

Y/n: I know

Hawks: I want you to know that I don't need sex, sure its definitely a plus being able to have sex with you. But I don't need it. What I need is you, your love, your hugs, your smile, your laugh, that's what I need from you. All of that is better than sex. Now, come get closer, let me hold you babybird

You scoot over to hawks side of the bed. You lay on his chest, you can feel his heartbeat, it's not racing as fast as it was before. Yours still was, I mean I did orgasm 3 times. I don't even know how i'm holding myself together right now.

Hawks tells you as he lightly scratches your back

Hawks: I love you kid. And I know I already said it but I will say it a million more times if I have to. You really are the most important person to me baby, I never wanna lose you. Now, let's get some sleep okay baby. Just relax, I'm here, by your side. And I will be here by your side, for the rest of forever.

He kisses your forehead. You felt so safe. I wish everyday was like this. Not the rough sex, although I wouldn't mind it. But being here, in his arms. It's a feeling I can't explain. It's a feeling I never wanna forget.

In just a few minutes you both ended up falling asleep. Well, another wild day has come to an end. Ugh I love him so much. I don't think I could ever find someone like him again.

[angrylizardjacket]

it's in the blood // this is tradition

Summary: Children inherit all sorts of traits from their parents. Not all these traits are good.

"My reputation preceded me before I was born."

[ charlotte & lola au ]

A/N: 2292 words. Halsey's new album killed me on the spot. i talk a lot about the next gen being mirrors of their parents, but i'd like to go into detail about that not necessarily being a positive. @misscharlottelee this made me feel things. i love these kids.

Warnings: overdose mention, addiction discussion, mentions of drug abuse.

Penelope Dingley-Lee

Tommy can count the amount of times he'd seen Razzle truly angry on one hand, and here and now he can see it again, written all over his neice's face. He'd thought she would look like Charlie when she's angry, and occasionally she does, the way her lip curls derisively, dismissively, that's very reminiscent of his cousin, but here and now, her blue eyes are hazy, cloudy, and her lips twist with an irate arrogance that is worryingly familiar.

Angry and high and wearing clothes that don't quite match, in this moment she's exactly her father's daughter.

She's been in the papers again. Her tits have been in magazines again. Tommy bites down on his instinctual desire to repremand her; she'd call him a hypocrite, call him an old man, tell him to keep his opinions to himself while she could still buy his sex tape out of a shady car boot down the street.

Charlie was like that too, on occasion, wit too quick for him to keep up with. When she got into a mood like this, Tommy didn't have to worry so much; usually Razzle would egg her on, but knew when to pull her back.

"It's my god given, motherfucking right to go feral -" he'd heard Charlie back in the eighties holler at three in the morning, high on amphetamines and waving a gossip rag above her head. Razzle would be on the sofa, equally fucked up, but gazing at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

"Lola gets photographed at least once a month stark naked along the strip like it's a sport, why is my Playboy shoot a national crisis?! My tits are fantastic!"

"They are, my love," Razzle nods seriously, and Tommy pulls his pillow from beneath his head, trying to either block out their voices through the thin walls, or maybe smother himself. The girl beside him, the groupie whose name he doesn't know, asks blearily why there's so much yelling. Tommy doesn't answer.

A week later, Tommy is the one to bail out Charlie and Razzle for public indecency, and they're both beaming from ear to ear.

Here in the present, Penny is draped out on the sofa, laughing low and pleased as she watches TV.

"TMZ blurred out my tits," she snorts, "cowards."

"Penny..." he can't help the faintly disappointed notes in his voice when he says her name.

"Thomas, I've read The Dirt," Penny fires back venemously. Hypocrite he hears in her tone, you have no power over me.

There's something hollow in her eyes in the photos he sees of her in the papers. She wears her father's inflluence and her heart on her crushed velvet sleeve, on the arm of a shallow, pretty, band boy who plays badly and loudly. But she laughs louder, though tthe sound is low and unconvincing if anyone bothered to listen hard enough, and Tommy wonders if he has enough dark hair dye left for when that boy breaks her heart.

Jupiter Lee

Tommy is proud to watch Jupiter on stage, but he is afraid.

Their anger is something he remembers from Lola, the way they cling to the past with vitriol echoes their mother, but on stage, they drink up the attention, get high off the love the audience gives, and he sees himself in those moments.

A child of addicts, Jupiter had drawn lines in the sand for themselves that they refused to cross; no alcohol, no drugs, and they'd stayed loyal to that. But highs come in all forms; they simply picked a different kind of poison without realising.

On stage, halfway between the gutter and a god complex, Tommy knows the smile they wear all too well.

Rebellion from Jupiter didn't shock the world like it did when it was Penny's name in the papers. Jupiter's trajectory was spot on in the eyes of the public, but rebellion wouldn't be the thing that broke them.

Once, so long ago that it's a miracle the memory survived, Tommy remembers asking Lola what she would be doing if she wasn't with the band. Lola gave him an easy, bleary smile, laughing sweetly when she told him that one way or another, she'd be here. In the moment it overwhelms him with love. In hindsight it breaks his heart.

"Come on, I think this is inevitable," Jupiter smiles on television as an interviewer asks them the same question; if they weren't making music what they'd be doing, "as if I'd do anything other than this."

'Don't you know where I come from?' is left unspoken, but Tommy still hears it.

He tries to picture himself in a life without the world at his feet the way he has now. No image comes to mind. Nothing else makes sense. Even if he wanted to do something else, wanted to grow up to be something else, he couldn't even begin to picture it for himself, tragedy and all.

They play their parts. They let history repeat itself. Jupiter makes mistakes Tommy and Lola had already learned from. Penny plays Jupiter's conciousness until the role grates on her nerves, diving head first into chaos, taking Jupiter with her with little convincing.

Tommy remembers this too.

When the world looks at Penny and Jupiter, they like to remember how Lola was seen as a bad influence on Charlotte, but forget that Tommy would have followed Charlotte in to Hell without hesitation.

Leo "Seo" Sixx

Lola has google alerts set up for her son, Seo, because he disappears for months without warning. Tommy asks how he is, and Lola looks to her phone with a tight smile, telling him that he's competeing in a skateboarding competition in Prague. She learned that from Twitter.

Seo comes and goes without warning, and talks to his siblings more than his parents. He loves them, but he hasn't allowed himself to stop for years. He doesn't know how. Then again, neither did Lola or Nikki.

"Jupiter thinks a lot about legacy, don't they?" He's in Tommy's kitchen, eating a poptart, when Tommy returns home one friday evening. He's waiting for Penny and Jupiter to finish getting ready, the three of them going out.

"Do your parents know you're in town?" Tommy asks with faint amusement, though there's a twinge of guilt in his gut when Leo considers that he should probably let them know. Says he forgot. Tommy's not sure if he believes him; like his parents before him, he tends to leave a lot unsaid. It's part of his charm, the world seems to think, but Tommy knows all to well how deliberate of an act it can be.

"Jup's got all this stuff in their head about legacy and who they should be," he continues his earlier thought, "which I guess makes sense, they tie a lot of themselves up in their identity," he shrugs, then, "I don't know Leo."

Tommy's not sure if he's talking about the grandfather he's named after, or himself.

"You've given this a lot of thought," Tommy says quietly, humouring him.

"I think a lot," Seo responds, "I've been thinking about going back on my meds, its weird being off of them." Of course this concerns Tommy, who knows objectively that Seo isn't his kid, but he's close enough that Tommy feels like he's allowed to be concerned. "I'm worried a doctor's note isn't going to be enough to let me compete at the Olympics on speed," falls too casually from Seo's lips, alarming Tommy in an instant. Though it must clearly show on his face, as Seo breaks out into an apologetic grin, "dextroamphetamine, for my ADHD. I've been trying to wean off it for the Olympics, it's been hard -" but his next words, said so blithe, so casual, have Tommy's heart stopping in his chest as he's thrown back thirty years, "I've been on them since I was like eleven years old; it was great, I could think, like the right amount, but now I... I think everything. I feel everything. Its a lot." He shrugs, like he didn't just become an echo of his father.

Seo's parents both died twice from overdoses, and now their son feels like he can't function without amphetamines.

Objectively Tommy knows that they work for Seo, that he's not abusing them he simply uses them to help him function, but the irony is not lost on him. It's a lot to unpack. He doesn't think to ask about the Olympics; it slips his mind until he sees Seo and a silver medal on his Twitter feed.

Lola calls Tommy in tears. She's proud, but she wishes she'd known, wishes she'd been able to watch it live, or go over and support him in person.

No-one in Seo's life seems to fully know or understand his intentions or actions, no-one can predict his next move. He puts up a bright facade, but like his parents before him, he does not trust the world to know him.

They don't know where he goes in the few months after the Olympics, all they know is that he doesn't come home.

Cerie "CerieThree" Sixx

Since she'd turned sixteen, Tommy has never seen Cerie Sixx without a smile. That is a very deliberate choice that she's made.

She's made a choice to rise above the percieved grime of her origins. She's halfway across the country, smiling for a camera she can control, editing her image before she lets it out into the world. Cerie Three - even the name the world knows reflects this; she's picked apart the context she was born into, disecting it, deciding which was useful to show the world, disposing of the rest.

She speaks warmly to her family, from what Tommy can gather, but the people on the peripheries of their life seem more like associates in the coldest sense of the world. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes half the time when she sees Tommy, and she shakes his hand when her brothers will hug him. The internet is closer to her than he is.

Cerie looks the most like her mother of all her siblings; she's 21, the exact same age Lola was when she met Tommy, but half the time he can barely see the resemblence. Lola had let the world see a villain at that age; Cerie had learned from that, had rejected that, rejected the cold, hard humanity of her mother's fronting. Cerie wanted to be perfect. Cerie had to be perfect, hyper aware of her own image, like her siblings seem to be, but the way she'd so effectively shaped her public identity was kind of terrifying.

Perhaps this was what it was like for people who didn't know Lola, only allowed to know the image she put out into the world, or people who only knew Nikki for his stage presence.

But the more Tommy thinks about it, the more he remembers just how effectively Lola had wrapped the band around her little finger when she set her mind to it, how she talked her way around exectives despite being dressed like she'd woken up in the gutter and fucked up on any number of drugs. Lola understood people, and it seemed Cerie did too.

Cerie Sixx, twenty one, doesn't stop creating content, doesn't stop studying, and doesn't stop smiling. Two of those three things are inhereted traits, inhereted determination, and the third is a choice.

Cyrus Sixx

Though Cyrus had inhereted much of his parent's musical talent, the same way Jupiter had, Cyrus had also inhereted a love of the high life. Even so, he's so full of love, kissing his mother on both cheeks before he goes out to get shitfaced in the bars she was decades before he was even born.

He works hard, at his job, on his music, but his partying matches it just as well. He knows exactly how far he has to fall before he meets the depths his parents' had sunk to, and though he doesn't voice this, his arrogance comes across in his actions.

There'd always be someone to pull him away from swan diving to rock bottom. He takes that for granted, and keeps getting closer and closer.

The only one of Nikki and Lola's children who still lives at home, he's the only one like them in the way they'd feared.

"He's going to have more success than he will ever be able to comprehend," Nikki had told Tommy, the day after Cyrus had been admitted to hospital after staying up for four days while high and obsessing over a song he had been working on. Nikki had found him having a fit after having fallen from his desk chair. Now, sitting on Tommy's patio in the sunset, he looks tired, he looks afraid, "if he doesn't end up killing himself first."

A month ago, the fire department and the police had to pull him, kicking and screaming and bareass naked from a tree in the middle of town. His parents had bailed him out, had felt a familiar sting of guilt as they find themselves reminded of their own youthful exploits. They repremand him, of course, but they both know the only reason they stopped climbing trees was because there had been no-one to pick them up after.

Nikki sees himself in his sons mistakes, but he'd had to learn concequences the hard way.

Tommy loves his family and all it's strange branches, as well as their raucous youth, but his closest friends were some of the most volatile people he'd known, and somehow he'd forgotten that as time as taken people and memories from him.

But these children were made in their image.

[s1rcus]

The Road to Love and Truth (Blackhill)

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 2827

Chapter: 2/2

Fandoms: Marvel

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury

Additional tags: -

Summary: Maria struggles after her night with Natasha. She gets some good advice from Steve.

Authors note: Blackhill Bingo square I3 "Steve Rogers"

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

Maria still has a huge headache. She's been debating taking another aspirin to ease it down for the past 10 minutes, but it hasn't been too long since she took the first one and it might just not be working yet. The situation with Romanoff might not be helping either.

Without thinking she's making her way towards Phil's office. She's not sure why, she knows she won't talk about something like this to him. He's a good friend but she just can't talk about her sex life with him, less about feelings. Maybe he'll have some work she can do to distract her from the night before. She can't use her key card on a day off, (Fury has made it very clear she's not supposed to be doing work during any type of leave) so she can't go to her own office to continue work.

Phil isn't in his office. Now that she actually thinks about it, he has been on a mission since yesterday. She still needs something to distract her though. Maybe Fury would let it slide this once if she'd go do work, but she'd rather not see him right now. She decides to just go for a walk. Hopefully that'll clear her head a little.

------

The fresh air does help her headache and clears her head just the tiniest bit as well. She stands outside of the Triskelion for a short time and decides to go for a short walk along the river.

She keeps her eyes mostly on the water as she walks hands in the pockets of her sweats. She probably should've changed if she's honest, but she didn't want to go back to her room. SHIELD agents weren't that rare sight around these parts, but they definitely didn't go out in their gym clothes. She kicks around some pebbles every once in a while that are lying around the sidewalk.

She loses track of time, trying to just focus on nothing but the movement of the water. And she might have let her guard down, because she gets startled, when a hand taps her on the shoulder.

"Maria, what are you doing out here?"

"Jesus, Steve. Warn a girl next time."

"I literally yelled your name when I saw you. You're not usually this distracted. Are you okay?"

There's concern on his face and Maria doesn't like it one bit. She's fine, and even if she wasn't, everyone else needs to think she is.

"Everything's fine," she lies.

Steve gives her a long look, not quite believing her.

"You can always talk to me, you know? Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'll listen."

Damn Steve, and his kind heart.

"I know," she says.

"Okay, well I'm gonna finish my run. Come and find me if you want to talk about whatever this is," he says as he runs past her.

Maria just waves him off. She continues along the river for a while longer until her headache becomes worse again. Deciding it's best to just go back and take another aspirin, she turns around and heads towards the Triskelion again.

------

Eventually Maria realises she needs to talk to someone so she heads towards Steve's quarters and knocks on his door. He opens the door with a smile. They're good friends but it's quite rare she actually ends up on his doorstep.

"Hey, Maria. What's up?"

"I slept with Natasha," she answers as she pushes past him into his room. She sits on his bed, head in her hands. She hears the door click shut as Steve closes it.

"Not what I was expecting. How are you feeling?"

Maria groans at the question, "I don't know. I find out she's queer and few days later I find her in my bed. That's not how that should go. And worst of all I want to do it again, but I don't think I can just keep it at that."

"So you want to ask her out?"

"I think so?" She says and lays down on the bed so she can stare at the ceiling. "But I'm her superior, it's unprofessional, not to mention way too complicated. How am I supposed to be able to send her out there, if I'm worried if she'll make it back? How is Fury supposed to trust in me, if I get compromised because of her? Or what if I make the wrong decision, because I can't--" Steve cuts her off. She feels the bed dip, as he sits next to her on the bed and places a hand on her knee.

"Maria, you're forgetting one important thing, she's the Black Widow, she knows how to handle herself. Do you know how many times she's saved me out there? Because I've lost count by now. And Fury won't see you any differently if you start showing normal people emotions. Also stop worrying about 'what if's. Those are situations you can't know the answers for before it's too late. And for the record, I think you're already compromised. You care more about her than you know. Have for a long time."

"Fuck", Maria breaths the word out.

"Language."

"No, I actually fucked up."

"What did you do?"

"I just left her. She wanted to talk, and I just left her. I wasn't thinking clearly. I told her it was a mistake. Well it technically was because that was definitely not how I wanted that to go, but… I let her believe I don't want her. Shit!" She gets up quickly and starts pacing around. "I gotta go find her. Tell her that I'm sorry for how I treated her. That last night was great. Not that I really remember anything. To hopefully ask her properly out." She freezes on her tracks and turns to face Steve. "What if she says no? How am I supposed to continue working with her then?"

"Maria", Steve warns her.

"Right, won't know the answers before it's too late." She takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm gonna go to find her. I wonder where she could be."

"At the gym with Barton."

"How would you know that?"

"Just a hunch."

------

She does find Natasha at the gym. She's beating up Barton at the mats. Maria decides to just stay by the door and watch, she'll notice her eventually. Natasha seems more tense than normal, maybe even a little angry. She doesn't move around as smoothly as she usually does. Her movements are a little more jacked, more forced. Maria realises that she's not fighting with a clear head. She's trying to push her feelings out. Maria was the reason the Widow's usually flawlessly smooth fighting style looked harsh and broken. It makes her heart twinge.

Eventually Natasha pins Barton down and he taps out. She gets up and her gaze shifts to Maria's. Maria physically flinches under her gaze. She quickly straightens her back and neutralises her face, when Barton gets back onto his feet and notices her presence.

"Commander," he coughs, eyes moving from Maria to Natasha and back again. After a couple of beats of silence he starts backing towards the men's locker room. "I'll just go then."

Maria just looks at Natasha, not really sure what she's supposed to say. Before she's able to say anything, Natasha turns on her heels and heads towards the women's locker rooms. That gets Maria on the move as well. She runs after Natasha and grabs her from the upper arm.

"Natasha wait," Maria says and Natasha stops on her tracks. "I'm sorry about earlier. Can we talk?"

Natasha turns around and Maria tries to look as apologetic as she can. Natasha just stares at her for a while.

"Fine. My quarters in 10."

Maria nods and drops her hold of the other woman. She didn't even realise she had still been holding her upper arm. Natasha eyes her quickly once more before she turns around again and heads out of sight to the locker room. Maria just stands still for a while, looking after her, until she spins around as well and heads out of the gym and towards Natasha's quarters.

------

Natasha is punctual as ever, and appears exactly 10 minutes later. Maria follows her silently into her room. Natasha sits down on her bed, one leg under herself while the other hangs off the edge. Maria is reminded of the morning. She stays standing near the door, but is faced towards Natasha. She's trying to figure out her words, even though she's been trying to figure out what to say ever since she walked out of Steve's quarters.

"Well?" Natasha prompts her.

"I fucked up. I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I panicked and I fucked up. I try my best to keep my private life and work separate, and I mostly live at work so… I'm having a hard time, to put it lightly. I also have never done this before."

"What? Been with a woman?" Natasha asks with a serious tone. It takes Maria a beat to realise she's not actually seriously asking that.

"No, Romanoff. You know that's not what I meant. I mean sleeping with a co-worker. Actually kinda never slept with anyone without being on a date first. And especially never had someone in my bed in a SHIELD facility."

"So I was your first one night stand?"

"About that, I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Was I that good?" Natasha asks with a smirk.

"Natasha! I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about all of it. Everything since the mission. Spending time together at that bar and during the mission and also everything that came after."

"Wow. Is Commander Hill getting soft?"

"No,” she says. Taking a breath she continues, “I'd just like to see if this could become something. You're one of the few people around here who I can stand, and I actually had a really nice time yesterday. And I'm not regretting what happened after, so that probably says a lot."

Natasha gives her a small smile.

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"You left the room in such a hurry and now you're here saying you don't regret it."

"Yeah, that. I might've talked to Steve and he had some good advice."

"You went to Steve?" Natasha's voice sounds almost scandalous.

"Who else would I go to? Fury? Do you think I have many friends around here? People who I could talk to?"

"Fair enough."

"So, if I'd ask you out on a date what would you say?"

"I would love to, but do you really want to go on a date? Because I feel like we're not the dating kind of people."

That was actually fair, she did always hate going on dates.

"What do you suggest then?"

"How about this?" Maria is really unsure about how she should feel about the smirk that follows that one simple question.

Natasha gets up and walks towards Maria. She stops when their chests are basically touching. She grabs Maria's hands and wraps them around her waist. Then she wraps her own arms around Maria's neck and rises up on her toes to kiss her. Maria basically melts into it. Eventually she lifts Natasha up and they move on the bed. Natasha seems very impressed that Maria can lift her. Maria might be a bit hurt about that.

------

When they decide to leave for an early lunch (neither remembered to eat breakfast), they're barely 100 feet down the hallway from Natasha's room, when they're stopped by a junior agent.

"Commander, Agent Romanoff. Director Fury wants to speak to both of you."

Maria and Natasha exchange a look.

"Did he say what about?" Maria asks.

"Not really," the Agent answers but there's a look on his face Maria doesn't like. It's like he knows something he shouldn't.

Maria debates for a little bit, if she should push and get some answers from him but decides against it. She dismisses the agent and starts heading towards the Directors office with Natasha.

They get a couple weird looks and smiles on the way there. They walk the whole way in silence. Both clearly trying to figure out what Fury wants from them.

Fury sees them immediately, which tells Maria that it's something important. She's getting nervous. Natasha is here as well, so her mind goes only to a specific direction, but how would Fury know?

"Director Fury, you wanted to see us?" Maria greets him.

"Hill, Romanoff. Has either of you checked the news today or any social media?"

Natasha shakes her head. She's been awfully quiet after they ran into that agent.

"No, sir. I haven't checked my phone at all today. Pretty sure it's dead anyway. I've been a bit distracted," Maria answers truthfully. There's no point in lying.

"Well, you probably should stay out of social media for a little while but that's just a suggestion. Do you have anything else to report to me?" His eye shifts from Maria to Natasha and back.

He knows. Maria takes a deep breath. She feels Natasha's hand touch hers, a sign that it's okay.

"Yes, sir. We, uh... Natasha and I are involved."

"Will it be affecting your work?"

"No, sir."

"Then I'm happy for you," he says with the slightest hint of a smile.

Maria is surprised and she can sense that so is Natasha. She lets her posture get a little more relaxed.

"Now to the real reason I invited you in," Fury says as he pulls some tabloid articles up on the screen behind himself. They're all saying basically the same thing: Black Widow at a gay bar with a mystery woman . Some of them have clearly done a better job with trying to figure out who this "mystery woman" is because a couple of them have actual pictures of Maria along with her name. And there's pictures. Pictures of them kissing, the intense looks they changed during that night and pictures of them leaving together.

"We tried to get them down before they spread too far, but clearly we didn't manage that. Anything about the Avengers' personal life spreads like a fire. I'm sorry about the situation it puts you in."

Both of the women just nod. There wasn't anything to say. Fury takes this as his answer and turns off the screen.

"Well then, you're dismissed. Hill, if you could stay for just a little longer?"

Natasha squeezes her shoulder a little before she steps out of the room.

"Sir?"

"No reason to be that formal anymore. This is just me checking on you. How are you feeling?"

"Well, that's a lot, but I think I'm fine. It's not the way I wanted things to go, but I guess it's good that it's out. If we wish to go out, now we don't need to worry if someone sees us or not."

"Okay, still I wish the situation wasn't this. I strongly suggest that you don't check any social media for the next few days. I know you think you can handle it, but there's gonna be some bad stuff there and I'd prefer the dust settles a bit first. Also if anyone, and I mean anyone, in SHIELD gives either of you a hard time because of this, let me know. I will handle it. It's out there, so everyone knows. I wish you could've handled this on your own terms, but the situation is what it is."

Maria smiles at him.

"Thank you, Director. I know I said it won't affect my work, and I truly believe and hope so, but if it ever seems like I'm putting her before the mission; pull me out of it, if possible. I know I won't be happy about it, but I need to know that I won't be making mistakes because I'm compromised."

"Of course. But I have full belief that you'll do great even then."

Maria nods and heads towards the door but Fury's voice makes her turn around before she gets to open it.

"Also, before you go. I am truly happy for you, Maria."

Maria smiles at him and nods her thanks and joins Natasha on the other side of the door.

Natasha hugs her as she closes the door. Maria circles her arms around her and presses her cheek against Natasha's head.

"That went better than I expected." She hears Natasha mumble against her chest.

"It did," Maria agrees.

"I'm so sorry about the articles though. If I would've just realised--" Maria quiets her with a kiss.

"Natasha, there's nothing you could've done about it. The second we walked in there everyone was paying extra attention to us. Those articles would be there even if we hadn't kissed. I'm just glad we did. I don't think I would've ever dared to take this step otherwise," Maria says. She looks Natasha in the eye and they exchange smiles. "Now, how about that lunch?"

[aenngelic]

I will protect her at all costs (chapter 2)

Disclaimer: please don’t hate me for it, if you don’t ship them please just don’t read it ok 🥲

contains: slow burn, Sniper falling in love with Kuon, Snipers view/thoughts, sexual fantasies, nudity, lemon stuff overall

It is a very long chapter I’m sorry

Note: please feel free to message me if you have certain romantic moments to include in the story! (Already running out of ideas oops)

It did not take long for us to find a bag of supplies. It was on a coffee table in some sort of lobby area. It seemed as if this building probably was meant to represent some kind of hotel, which I thought was a good thing, because that meant that there would be beds and showers to be found here as well. To our surprise, the bag contained mostly candy, which I wouldn't interpret as a balanced meal. However, the girl seemed to like this finding. It was only a matter of minutes before the chocolate residue stained the corners of my companion's mouth in a brown color. However, I preferred to smoke a cigarette at first and watch the girl devour her own body weight in the form of chocolate.

" This is fantastic! It feels like forever since I last ate chocolate! I faintly remember dieting before I entered this world too, so this must have been probably weeks since I held chocolate in my hand." Kuon said with delight. It was amusing to watch her enjoy sweets. Kuon's carelessness may be a burden at times, but her innocent character makes up for it.

" you partly remember your life prior to this, don't you?"

" Yes, not much to be honest. I'm sorry you can't," Kuon replied in a concerned voice.

"Tell me about it."

She gave me a visibly puzzled look before straightening her back so that she was sitting as straight as a candle on the sofa across from me, staring at her hands somewhat lost in thought. She seemed uncomfortable that I had now brought up this topic. Unfortunately, I could not take back my question. "Well," she began, "to be honest,the life I remember has not been the greatest, I guess." Kuon abruptly shook her head. " That's not true either. I was born into a rich family and had many privileges. My father owned a large company and had very high expectations of me from the very beginning. One day I was supposed to take it over. I was probably pretty lucky compared to other people. I was probably a big disappointment for him. My character was just not strong enough in his eyes. I also remember not really having any friends either, because I was privately educated. And anyway..." I could literally hear the lump in Kuon's throat as a tear began to stream down the girl's cheek.

" i'm sorry. You know, I didn't really mean to end up crying."

I felt my heart break once again, watching the girl grieve. I was surprised now, though, to find out that this yet seemingly uncomplicated high school student was actually carrying a lot of emotional baggage. I did not hesitate as I jumped up from my seat to calm the blue-haired girl. I really hated it like the plague when she cried. Trying to preserve my Coolness, however, I grumbled, "oh girl. What's wrong?"

I placed myself to her left, and pressed her against my shoulder while running my hand over her hair a few times. There was no way I could bring myself to face her, though. It would be too embarrassing and, after all, I was far from being the Prince Charming who would dry her tears with a silken tissue. Besides, I could not withstand the sight of her teary eyes. So there I sat, a weeping teenage girl wetting my blazer with salty drops of grief on my right, awkwardly staring off into the distance.

"It's, it's..." she stammered, not being able to form a word. "You're the first person I've been able to trust, and because of that, I'm kind of..."

She took a deep breath, "It makes me so unbelievably happy."

Almost for the second time that day, a cigarette nearly got stuck in my throat, but this time I was able to suppress my urge to cough. The girl seemed to really like me. But did I like her too? I would be lying if I said I did not care about her. And if she got killed, I could never forgive myself. It was astonishing how one could form such a strong bond with another person in such a short period of time. However, pouring out my entire feelings in front of her would not come close to the cool lifestyle I was pursuing.

" i'm also happy to have met you, Kuon.", i finally decided to answer after a moment of figuring out how to respond.

Kuon's face, which was still streaked with tears, started to smile again, which made me feel much relieved. However, it took her a while to completely stop her wailing . We remained in this position for a while, until at some point I realized that the girl had fallen asleep. Her head had lowered in the meantime even further toward the ground, so that after some time she was no longer leaning against my shoulder but much rather against my belly. When I noticed this after some time and looked down to the girl, a cute sight presented itself to me. Admittedly, on the one hand it felt nice to act as this girl's pillow. On the other hand, it triggered an immeasurable amount of embarrassment in me. But cool guys do like to take care of girls' comfort, don't they?

Therefore, I decided I'd rather not wake her up and hardly moved at all. I looked out the window to my right, watching the sunset and reflected on certain issues. I was thinking about Rika as well as the two girls we were trying to find and, of course, about Kuon and so many other things until my eyes started to close.

When I regained consciousness, the night must have settled in. Before I could even perceive my surroundings properly, I swiveled my head once to the left and once to the right and let my gaze wander through the room. Because the moon was particularly bright this night, everything around me had taken on a deep blue tone. It was so quiet around me that I could have heard a pin drop. In the next second I realized that I should not have fallen asleep in the first place. Somebody would have had to keep watch, after all! Crap! If an enemy would have come along the way, it certainly would not have been good for me and Kuon. I looked down to my thigh where the blue-haired girl was supposed to lie. I felt her place her head on my thigh at some point during the night, but when I looked down at my thigh, I could not find any girl. Where the hell was Kuon? A rational thinking person, as I was one, could of course assume that my companion did not necessarily have to be in danger, but could also have simply visited the toilet, for example. Nonetheless, my alarm bells started ringing immediately. Kuon was, after all, a young girl who, apart from the "rail gun", did not posses many possibilities for self-defense. So of course I was worried.

Without thinking much, I hopped up from the sofa, on which I had been napping a few moments before. In quick stride I wandered through the poorly lit hallway without really having a clue where I was heading. My head was foggy from the idea that the girl might be in serious danger. A few days ago, I probably would have accepted the fact that she was suddenly nowhere to be found and continued my journey. And now my stomach was already twisting at the thought of her getting in trouble.

Nevertheless, a short moment later, my heart pounding madly from the ever-repeating scenario in my head, I heard a noise at the end of the corridor. A soft, high-pitched humming was heard, drowned out by the pattering of many drops. Light emerged from the crack of a door on the left. Was she taking a shower? The feeling of relief spread through my chest, followed by some degree of annoyance. Why did the girl not wake me up? I took a few steps towards the door, but before I was about to reach for the door handle, I remembered that I should not do so. A gentleman never violates a lady's privacy. So I decided to wait.

I leaned against the local wall, one leg bent. Then I let my thoughts wander, while the pattering of the raindrops in the bathroom right next to me showed no indication of stopping anytime soon. A lady of high society must spend quite a bit of her life showering, I thought to myself. And before I knew it, the image of Kuon suddenly popped up in my head. In my imagination I pictured her body, wondering what it looked like completely naked. A bar of soap running over her plump breasts, leaving traces of foam on her soft, wet skin. A body swinging under the hot rainfall like a leaf in the wind, presenting its vivid buttocks. I wonder if she was shaved? Hardly had I been able to finish this dirty thought of mine and get mad at my filthy thinking when my ears picked up the sound of footsteps in the distance. And they were coming ominously closer.

Damn, I thought to myself and was about to reach for my rifle, only to realize that I forgot it next to the sofa where I had been sleeping. I had been so upset about her disappearance that I could seriously forget the most crucial item for our survival.What was I going to do? For a brief moment I was at a loss. Escape proved almost impossible at this point, since I was at a dead end and I could not force the approaching enemy down with any surrounding objects. Besides, if I escaped, it would only be a matter of time before the enemy would track down my helpless companion. In the next moment, almost instinctively, I reached for the door handle that led to the bathroom that Kuon had still claimed. Perhaps there were objects in the room that were suitable for fighting, or perhaps we could be lucky and not be found, I speculated in the heat of the moment. So I tore open the door and rushed into the bathroom, greeted by a hot haze that took over the entire area.

"Kuon!" I called out in a hushed tone.

Without hesitation, I pushed my way through the door that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom as if I was walking through nothing. Until that moment, I had hardly given a thought to the circumstances of this situation. But at the latest, when finally the naked body of a schoolgirl jumped into my field of vision, I quickly realized this again. I was just about to violate Kuon's privacy. An obviously shocked girl looked towards me, that from 1 second to the other tried to cover herself desperately.

"Mr.Ma-", she was about to say, but I interrupted her raised voice by pressing my hand to her lips as quickly as possible.

While I was still in the act of stepping into the shower, I flicked the light switch in the same movement so that no sign of our presence could escape from the room. Maybe they would not find us here, I hoped at this point.

"There's someone out there," I whispered to the naked girl in front of me.

" if we are quiet, maybe we won't be found. If we are, then..."

Kuon replied to me with an unintelligible "Mmm" , which resembled the sound of a frightened gasp. My body had pressed so close to hers by now that I could feel the wetness of her skin soaking through my shirt. I had directed my face facing away from her so that I could sharpen my hearing for the footsteps I could hear. Furthermore , I did not want to add unnecessary tension to the whole situation. It was uncool enough to interfere with a naked girl taking a shower even if it was an emergency. My hand was still resting on her lips and even though I was wearing gloves and looking away, I could clearly feel the warmth building up in Kuon's cheeks. She was obviously blushing in this moment. But having her pressed against the bathroom wall while forcing my hand tightly onto her lips and not even keeping a distance of not 2 inches, I could not blame her.

For quite a while, we did not move at all. We listened closely to the footsteps, which came a little closer and finally slowly moved away from us again. Temporarily it was even so quiet in this bathroom that we could hear each other breathing. Kuon's breathing was fast and almost verged on hyperventilation in this situation. Because there was hardly any distance between our bodies, I could literally feel her chest rising and falling in short intervals. With each rise, her breasts brushed my upper body a slight bit. I tried, as always, to keep my composure and block out the fact that Kuon was completely naked. Only when several minutes had passed did my posture loosen and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, we should be safe for now," I stated and let go of the girl.

I flipped the light switch and had to swallow.

Kuon had been naked before too, but it was only now that the danger was gone that I could really comprehend this fact. She had tried to cover her breasts with her hands and had simultaneously crossed her legs, looking down with a shameful expression on her face. However, the concealment attempt seemed to be unsuccessful for her. Although I only caught a glimpse of her appearance before I turned away from her as quickly as possible, I saw her entire beauty for a moment.Her breasts were in relation to her otherwise so petite body, large and plump. She had a narrow waist and perfectly shaped legs, in combination with her smooth, fair skin. And so she shaved, I could still tell. What remained most imprinted on my mind, however, was the look on her face.I of course preferred to see her friendly smile a thousand times more than this face that expressed pure shame. But I could not help but adore the sight of her big sparkling dog eyes looking at the ground helplessly.

My breath stopped for a moment, but then I quickly cleared my throat, my gaze already averted from her, scanning the room for a towel. I tried to hide the fact that I actually wanted to slap myself for the thoughts I was having. Luckily, my embarrassment was not visible through the mask. I had to change the subject immediately before the situation became even more awkward:

"Sorry, Kuon." , I mumbled. I was surprised myself by my harsh tone. It took me a while to recollect the words.

"You should let me know next time you decide to go somewhere else."

"Oh yeah right. I didn't mean to cause any trouble.", Countered the girl who also seemed to be a bit embarrassed. So it wasn't just me who was feeling uncomfortable about this situation. Without giving my companion another look, I threw a towel right over my head at her. I had a precise aim.

" I'm going to get my rifle. I forgot it in all the hurry near the sofa."

Just as I was about to open the door to step out, the girl interrupted my process by grabbing my arm with unusual intensity.

" can you come back here afterwards? Please?"

"That's what I was planning on doing anyway. I'll be waiting right outside the door," I replied, a bit puzzled by this question.

" but I have -." she interrupted herself, shaking her head slightly before continuing.

Then her facial expression regained its former composure, whereupon she gave me her typical, beaming smile. I could tell, however, that she did not mean it honestly. How I could tell that, I had no idea myself though. But did she want me to stay here with her?

" no you're right. I'll hurry up and be done in a few minutes," she said. While she was talking, she wrapped the towel around her body in a quick movement, fastening it in front with the help of a knot.

I had meanwhile turned my gaze back to her. Although Kuon was now dressed, it was difficult for me not to inspect her from top to bottom. Her entire body was still drenched in a hint of wetness, so that her skin was reflectingthe bright bathroom light. It was also slightly red from the hot shower water. I wondered if the red tint to her cheeks was also caused by that, or if I was responsible for it.I could not help but notice the way the towel just managed to hide all the places it was supposed to cover and yet was far too tight. If she bent over, a special view would present itself to me. Immediately I dashed this disgusting thought from my head. If I continued to reduce myself only to her appearance this could end in negligence on my part and I would not be able to protect her properly.After all, that was the most important thing. I also discarded this thought. Had this strange girl really become so important to me? Nevertheless, there was no place for interpersonal relationships in this world.Before I could get any further into this train of thought, I turned away again and finally walked out of the room. I was in need of a cigarette.

[fictionwordcounts]

Home [Anakin x Reader]

Word Count: 2000+

Summary: You're on the desolate planet of Dagobah, and things are a far less than exciting. However, someone crashing close to your home changes everything.

Requested on Wattpad.com at StarkWars084

You were whittling away at a stubborn piece of wood when you saw a ship of some sort fall from the sky not far away. You jumped up from the small chair you had made and examined the smoke trail in awe. Nothing exciting ever happened on this disgusting swamp planet and you absolutely had to go to the crash sight.

Smiling to yourself, you climbed down your tree house and headed off in the direction of the crashed, mysterious object. Wading through the thick mud was easy and you started walking a ways off, but stopped suddenly. You reached toward your back only to grasp empty air-- you'd left your weapon at home. You were furious with yourself for forgetting such an important tool. The planet you were on was nowhere shy of dangerous creatures. Looking over at a large stick on the ground, you decided it would have to do. You grasped it tightly and continued on until you found a broken ship submerged in quick sand. If anyone was alive in there, they certainly weren't now. It was a shame too. You were hoping to find someone (You didn't care who) to make life more interesting. You would have settled for anything in fact.

The sand prevented you from investigating closer, but it was just as amazing from where you were. Sure you had seen ships before, but that was a long time ago, before you came here. The ship was swallowed up quickly by the hungry sand and you strained to see the last bit of the tail disappear. You were about to leave when you noticed footprints leading off from where the plain had been. A sound from behind you made you jump, and you spun around with your makeshift weapon in hand. A man with shoulder-length dark hair and clothes caked in sand stood there. His eyes were kind and calm despite the large stick only inches from his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he stated. Even if it wasn't his intention, he had scared you a great deal, and you found yourself unable to lower the stick. He slowly raised his hands and started pushing the weapon down, and you let him since you couldn't do it yourself.

"Who are you?" You asked him once you had found your voice.

"It's alright, I'm Anakin Skywalker. I'm a Jedi, and I can help you off this planet," he answered. "I could take you as far as Coruscant, if you like."

You bit your tongue and changed your mind. I'm not okay with anything! you decided, I wanted anything but a Jedi. The Jedi were the people you had tried to escape in coming here. You had thought you wanted to be one at one time, but they had rejected you when you had failed their ridiculous trials. Now there was one here, though you had chosen to live on one of the most remote planets you could find. You were angry with him though you knew it was not him alone that had denied you the position.

"Well, I'm very glad you've found a way to get home," you said, trying to maintain a steady voice. "You can do so alone. I wish you luck." With that, you spun around and headed back to the home you had made. Sloshing footsteps and swinging branches told you that he was stumbling right behind.

"Hold on!" He called after you. You were nearly running, and you would've kept going, but this was the only social interaction you would get for who knew how long. You rolled your eyes and slowed so he could catch up. "It's dangerous out here alone," he warned.

You slowly turned around and rolled your eyes. "Is it?" you scoffed and took in a deep breath while you tried to get your thoughts together. "Listen, I do appreciate the offer, but I have no interest in heading back to anywhere the Jedi Council is."

"What do you mean back?" he questioned. "You mean you've been there before?"

You glared at him. "Do the Jedi now find things easy to forget?" you felt yourself shaking and tried desperately to stand completely still. You're not mad at him, you told yourself. You knew you shouldn't be mad at all, but it grew more difficult the more he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about," Anakin apologized. "But at least let me take you to a safer, more populated planet." You almost laughed now.

Gesturing to land around, you responded, "Even if I wanted to leave, how would we?" Anakin looked around.

"I'd find a way," He insisted. You knew there was really nothing he could do, but you liked his determination.

Still, you weren't sold on the idea of returning. "Well," you started hesitantly. "If you're going to find a way back, you'll need a place to stay." You gestured for him to follow you. He was surprisingly good at navigating through the mud. He knew exactly where to step and where not to. You guessed it was the Force showing him the way. It had for you, too, before you memorized the land. When you got to the lake that was not far from your tree house, you made Anakin scrub off all the sand off his arms and neck.

When you made it back to your home you showed Anakin the way up the tree. "You built this?" He asked you once he was at the top.

You nodded proudly. "It took me a while, but it finally came together." You ran your hand across the railing you had put up. You were rather proud of your work and had a right to be. It was sturdy and homely which was perfect for where you lived. "You could probably stay just outside my kitchen for now. Tomorrow I'll have to make a proper bed for you."

Anakin nodded to show he understood then looked questioningly at you. "If I'm going to stay here, I need to know your name."

You had completely forgotten to introduce yourself! You scolded yourself inwardly. "Y/N," you told him.

He smiled "Thank you for offering your home to me, Y/N" You knew he was just being polite. He wouldn't have the comfort of a bed like the one you had made, and you couldn't make one now. You didn't have the items you would need, and it was getting too dark to gather any.

"I recommend you don't leave the house until dawn," you suggested. "The creatures here love the dark."

"I wont," he assured you. Even though he was a Jedi, you knew you couldn't leave him to figure that out on his own.

You would help him the best you could. You didn't hate him. In fact, you found it hard to dislike him. But it was impossible to ignore his title: Jedi. Just thinking the name made you shudder.  You wished him a good night, and Anakin took his robe off and lay down on one of your pillows. He pulled the robe over himself to stay warm and you went to your moss bed. It was actually a nice, comfortable bed that took you a while to complete. You looked over at Anakin who was still awake, staring up at the sky, and your stomach twisted. He wanted to go home, but you couldn't help him do that. The best you could do was make sure he didn't freeze, starve, or get killed by ravenous animals, so that's what you would do. You would keep him alive until he could get back home.

________________________________________________________________________________

You woke up earlier than usual and dressed quickly. You decided to go hunting in hopes of finding some meat to balance out the root stew you would make. As you slipped the cotton shirt over your head, you realized that you didn't have any extra clothes for Anakin to change into, and his clothes were still covered in mud that had dried over. Surely, it wasn't a comfortable way to live. You walked over to Anakin who was fidgeting and stirring in his sleep. You would have to make him a change of clothes as soon as possible.

You grabbed your spear and knife and climbed down the tree easily. You wanted to do this quickly so you could start working on the other projects Anakin's arrival had made for you. You waited at some rocks near the lake with your knife in hand. Nudj, you knew, were lizard-like creatures that stayed around this area. You had only killed a few before, but they weren't bad. When a brave nudj climbed the rocks you quickly threw your knife and pierced it's skin. It thrashed for a second before falling still. You knew the alarm it let out would warn the others and keep you from getting anymore from there. You retrieved the knife and nudj and headed to a different patch of rocks. You repeated this pattern four more times until you had three of the lizards to take back. You jogged back to the tree and climbed up. Anakin was awake.

"Good morning," you called to him. His face was pale and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." You looked him over worriedly. Treating disease was not something you could cram into today. Deciding to leave him be, you started preparing a stew from roots herbs and the nudj you caught earlier. Anakin came up to you and watched for a little bit.

You turned to him while the stew cooked. "Have you figured out how you'll be getting back?" you questioned.

He shook his head. "No, I haven't, but I'll find a way," he answered confidently. Surely he knew he wouldn't be able to. The only thing that flew on the planet were the bogwings, and you didn't want to mess with them.

"I'll have to make you a change of clothes," you told him. "I'll do that after we eat." You turned back to the food and stirred it.

"Thank you," Anakin said. You pointed to a small pot you had sitting by.

"If you're going to stay here though," you announced. "You'll have to help and boil some of that water."

He smiled and took the full pot to a small fire you had going.

After you and Anakin had finished eating, you walked over to a bin where you kept thread and fabric. You hadn't expected to use it really so you were happy you found a use for it. You sent Anakin to wash the dishes, but it didn't keep him busy for long. He came to where you were working.

"Tell me about the time you were with the Jedi council," he requested.

You stiffened. Of course, he would be curious, but you didn't want to talk about it. You just wanted him to have a magical solution to leave and do so. You hesitated, trying to play out the conversation in your head.

"When I was younger," you started. "All I wanted to be was a Jedi. I looked up to them and my parents did too." A lump formed in your throat. "They noticed me, finally, and I trained for a long time until I became a Padawan. I wasn't long after that my parents were killed. I couldn't preform as well as they wanted me to. I could only think about them, hoping they would come back. It devastated me, and at times, I even felt resentment--hatred. You know that's not acceptable for Jedi." You inhaled deeply and wiped a tear from your cheek with your fingertips. "They expelled me, and I left. I was angry with the council." You gritted your teeth. "I was angry with Master Yoda."

Anakin looked puzzled. "Master Yoda is very wise," he defended. "I'm sure he had a good reason."

You wiped your face and looked at him reasonably. "Master Yoda has it all wrong," you argued. "There has never once been a Jedi who has kept to the code completely. Our emotions make us human, and those that embrace that are the ones he wants to get rid of. He can't turn us into his mindless, emotionless robots to fight his battles for him."

Anakin was silent. The whole time you were talking your hands were working on the outfit for him.

"But never mind," you attempted a smile. "I finished your outfit." You turned around while Anakin switched his clothes. When he was finished you turned back to see your work. You laughed out loud. The clothes looked absolutely ridiculous. They were baggy and blended into each other making it look like one piece.

"Well, it's a start," he teased, smiling. "At least now I'm not covered in sand from head to toe."

You made a note to yourself to practice your seamstress skills later.

You had just finished the bed for Anakin when the sun sank behind the trees. He slept on it well the first night, but he grew restless from nightmares that not even the most comfortable of beds could fix. You often had to sit by his bed with a cold cloth to calm him. He told you they were of his mother. He had to watch her die over and over again every night and it made him miserable. You did the best you could, but that wasn't much. There were nights when he would wake up suddenly, and you would have to speak quietly and soothingly to him until he could fall asleep again. At first it bothered you, but it troubled you more now.

Anakin had stayed with you for two weeks before a ship landed right next to the lake where you were gathering water one day. You dropped the bucket and ran to the ship. The door opened and a light-haired, bearded man emerged confidently. His eyes were tired but that didn't change how he acted.

"Hello there!" he called to you. "Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi. Could you give me a hand with something?" Stunned you nodded and beckoned him forward. "I'm sorry about landing here without permission. I didn't think this planet was populated. I'll leave soon, but I seem to have lost something and I need help finding it," he explained.

"What did you loose?" you asked him, though you could already guess. Obi-Wan looked at you warily.

"His name is Anakin Skywalker."

You froze. When Anakin arrived, the thought that he might have someone looking for him hadn't even occurred to you. He was back at the tree house preparing food for the both of you. You weren't sure if you should get him or not. As if he heard his name called Anakin came running up from behind you.

Obi-Wan perked up. "Anakin!" He called cheerfully. "I'm glad you're alive, Anakin. You had us all worried." Despite the fact that this man had brought Anakin a way home, he didn't look all that happy.

"You shouldn't have come for me, Master." Anakin said. "You could've saved supplies and time going on without me."

"Anakin don't talk like that," Obi-Wan commanded. "You are my friend, and I will not leave you like that."

Obi-Wan looked at you. "I thank you for any help you have given my young apprentice. You will be paid in whatever currency you find acceptable." He turned back to Anakin. "Let's go, Anakin. Master Yoda will be happy to know you're alright."

Your heart sank. Anakin had found a way to leave after all. This is what you wanted. You reminded yourself. Once he's gone, life will be normal again. Boring and normal. You didn't want him to go now, but what could you do? It was Anakin's decision, and he was already following his master. You stood there waiting for the ship to take off, but it never did. In fact the door opened once again and both of them walked out.

"Is everything okay?" You questioned with a small glimmer of hope that the ship might not start. Anakin was looking much happier now and Obi-Wan more upset.

"It appears," Obi-Wan spoke first. "That Anakin will be staying with you," he explained.

You looked at Anakin who was next to you now.

"Are you serious?" you asked quietly, though your heart was beating rapidly.

He looked up at Obi-Wan. "Thank you for your training, Master," he said respectfully. Obi-Wan nodded blankly.

"I don't know what I'll tell the council," he said almost talking to himself.

Anakin smiled. "I'm sure you'll think of something," he assured. Obi-Wan looked up and smiled.

"Yes, well, I'll still have to pay you, Y/N," he said. "I'll go and get whatever supplies you'll need." He looked at Anakin again and laughed. "And good heavens hopefully some proper clothes." You both laughed merrily. You felt wonderful and couldn't stop smiling.

Obi-Wan left and Anakin hugged you tightly.

"You're really staying," you whispered.

He chuckled. "Yes, I am." He pulled away and looked into your eyes. "You were right, Y/N. I shouldn't try to push any emotions aside anymore." He rested his hand on your cheek. "I love you, Y/N." He grabbed your hand. "Let's go home."

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette: chp 2 part 2

an: hey guys! sorry for taking so long! here's the masterlist if needed.

tags: black!reader, fem coded reader, I finished this late at night so, it's just a whole lot of nonsense

tag list: @taybird

After an hour of chatting and filling yourself up with food, you needed a nap. You hoped that you wouldn't fall into a sleep so deep that you'd never go to the show. It'd be a bummer.

You ended up sleeping for two hours, right when Levi had entered your room to tell you to get ready. He looked tired, the boys were probably bothering him.

Once Levi left your room, you took another bath. Once you were done with that, you brushed your teeth and moisturized. Moments later, you let your team know it was ok to enter your room and help you with your outfit

Satisfied with your choice of clothing, you started on your makeup.

You were excited about this date. Levi told you that you, Mikasa, and the guys were going to watch Aladdin. Not only was it familiar but it was romantic. The thought about who you might eliminate crossed your mind but you continuously shake your head to forget about it

When you entered a seating room where your dates and Mikasa were located. The first thing you noticed was Jean, Eren, and Mikasa chatting. Well, not exactly. Jean, dressed in a suit vest, along with a suit jacket and pants, was sitting on the armrest of the seat that Mikasa was sitting in, and Eren, in a green sweater vest and dark blue dress pants was sitting on the couch across from Mikasa. The boys were chatting about something you had no idea about and Mikasa didn't seem like she had much to say. She gave them both of her attention and seemed interested in what they had to say.  You just hoped that she hadn't gained the attention of either man. The game wasn't over yet.

Bertholdt and Reiner weren't too far from the other three. Bertholdt was in a blue sweater with a white dress shirt underneath and khaki pants. Reiner was in a green dress shirt that showed off a bit of his chest and dark pants. The two were having a conversation of their own but then stopped when they saw you.

"Hi, y/n," Bertholdt greets you. You really liked his energy. On your first night with all the guys, you learned that Bertholdt was a really shy guy (and you almost eliminated him because of that) but after a few words between the two of you, you realized he was a really really nice guy. He was too nice. There was no way the other guys could pick a fight with him.

Jean and Eren stop conversing to look up at you. A smile immediately appeared on Jean's face. "You look nice, y/n," Eren jumps in. Your heart jumped slightly. You managed to hold a conversation with him but damn, that man was so fine. But so was Jean...and Bertholdt...and Reiner. There was no way you'd be able to eliminate those guys.

"Hi!" you manage to get out. "Levi told me we were going to watch Aladdin. I'm pretty excited about that...and you guys have not choice but to be excited either."

The guys let out a laugh. Mikasa had her signature emotionless face on but you knew she was laughing on the inside.

"Before we go, I wanted to discuss seating with you guys." You tried not to think about this because it made you feel nervous. Only two guys would be able to sit by you and two others would have to sit with Mikasa. You were worried that one of the guys would take it the wrong way or that Mikasa would manage to steal one of the guys from you.

"For this date, I'd like Eren and Jean to sit with Mikasa. I see you two a lot and you always stop by to talk to me, so maybe it's time for a break," you explain. "Aw, Jean, she's breaking up with us," Eren says in a jokingly sad tone. Jean shakes his head and chuckles. "That's fine, y/n, and it makes sense. We do have to share."

You're so grateful that they understand. You look over to Bertholdt and Reiner. Bertholdt's face is already red. "You two will be sitting. with me. Is that ok, Bertie?" Bertholdt freezes and Reiner pats his friend's lap. "He'll be alright. He's never been this close to a woman before."

"T-That's not true," Bertholdt finally says. You thought the way he got flustered was so cute. "The limo's outside, so it's best that we get going, yeah?" you say.

The minute you got to the theatre. You were met with paparazzi. Bertholdt was taken by surprise, so you took his hand once he got out of the limo. You knew this was going to start a conversation but you needed this man to chill out. Fortunately, Bertholdt did not have a meltdown when you held his hand.

He was a good boy for the rest of the night as well. When the first act of the show was reaching its end, you held his hand once more. He took his eyes off the show to give you a small smile. He seemed to be comfortable with you now.

During intermission, you decided to excuse yourself and head to the bathroom. Mikasa followed you- there was no way she was going to left with four women hungry boys.

"You have a favorite?" you ask, referring to the boys. Mikasa's eyes widen. "You have a favorite. Wow, Mikasa."

"y/n, don't be mad...I...Eren is cute and so is Jean but I want to wait. If one of those guys goes home, I won't hesitate to get their numbers."

"Mikasa, you're terrible," you say, trying to hold in your laughter. You tried to be pissed but Mikasa was way too cute. The fact that she was eyeing two of your "boyfriends" was concerning but the fact that she admitted it and the way she did was hilarious.

During the second and final act, you decided to try your little hand trick with Reiner. You waited until he seemed focused on the story to place your hand on top of his. You realized how big his hand was. It wasn't bigger than Bertie's but it was something. He must have noticed how distracted you were by his hands because when you looked up, he was smirking at you. Right then and there, Reiner intertwines your fingers and they remain like that the rest of the show.

After the performance, you all got an opportunity to go backstage and meet the performers. A few of them told you that you were beautiful, others were interested in what guy you would pick. Before you all left, there was a request to take a group photo.

Jean stood behind you and put a hand around your back. He looked down at you. "Is this ok?" You nod. Jean's hand filled your whole back. This guy could pick you up and throw you somewhere if he wanted. But of course, he was too kind. You looked over at Eren, who had this hand over Mikasa. You were beginning to feel suspicious until you saw that Reiner had his hand around Mikasa's waist. Reiner couldn't possibly be into Mikasa, right?

That was something you had to sleep on.

The ride home was silent- other than Mikasa's soft snores and Eren's loud ones. The two had fallen asleep on each other. Every time Eren snored, it just got louder and the rest of you couldn't contain your laughter. Jean had his phone out, recording this whole thing because "at some point, the world needs to see who Eren Yeager really is". You had tears rolling down your face because this was really stupid but funny at the same time.

When you got to the mansion, Reiner helped you out of the car. Jean asked about Eren and Mikasa but you told him not to worry about them. They'd figure themselves out. Reiner and Jean wished you goodnight and began to make their way inside. Bertie stayed behind.

"Is everything alright? I know things were a bit overwhelming today," you start.

"Yeah, but you really helped me out. So thank you. I'm working on myself because I really want to have some alone time with you. I need to have the courage to face you though."

"Aw, Bertholdt. You're perfect. I like you just the way you are," you reassure him.

"You said my name right."

"You're right, I did."

Bertholdt looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't.

Instead, he kisses you.

"B-bertholdt..."

"I should have asked for permission first," he says sheepishly.

"No! It was ok...I just wasn't expecting that from you," you admit. "Head inside ok? I'll make sure we talk after the Rose ceremony."

Bertholdt nods and gives you one more look before heading inside.

Yeah, none of these guys were going to go home

(SPACER)

damn I didn't know Bertie had moves like that 😭 anyways y'all, here's a poll. it's not an elimination one but I miss hearing y'all's thoughts. take a look! until next time :)

[bxllafanficc]

A world without heroes

Summary: Loki is imprisoned after the sudden attack on New York and with that, rest of the earth. And while you always thought you would have your lover's back, you find yourself unable to forgive this one. It's time for you to decide when enough's enough.

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x reader

Sidenote: This was inspired by the song "A world without heroes" from KISS. I just immediately though about a moment where reader would be thrown into a deep sea of darkness after finding out the major betrayal lingering beneath many layers of Loki Laufeyson's charismatic persona.

The cold surface of the bulletproof glass is supposed to have a large impact on your wrist as the two objects collide. It's supposed to hurt but it doesn't. The glass is meant to stand and for you to give up. You're meant to lay off and calm down; meaning, stop slamming your fist into the cell like if it was going to break if you just willed your way through.

They say that if you want something enough, you possess the power to do anything. But what do you want to such an extent? More importantly, what does he want? What did he really want? Has he ever wanted any more than a throne to sit on? Or was there something more to it? Did he even know what it really meant? And if so, did he realize the consequences of his actions; not just by the billions of lives he would have destroyed, but his family, yours and especially his own as well.

A part of you wants to believe that he was under some kind of control; that he wasn't really conscious these past days. All the lives he already stole, you want to think that if he had a choice, he would've spared them. You want to believe it all so badly. You want to throw all your common sense away and just collapse into his arms. Give him a tender kiss and gaze into his eyes with lingering warmth like you used to. To forgive and forget.

But the common sense stays where it should be. You can't. Because the past days he's been imprisoned, he's confirmed every action. He doesn't even defend anything; thinks he doesn't need to. Rock-hard believing his decision was the right one to make when he really had no right.

And your eyes are no more tender and soft; but clouded and swollen, piercing through the pair of eyes on the other side of the glass. And your mouth is not tasting the sensetion of sweet lips. Only the salty wetness of your tears pooling like mad rivers.

Your chest feels heavy and about to explode. You need to scream; feel like that's the only solution to relieve the pressure. You almost feel like you're being choked. Choked on love, choked on hope, air, trust, literally everything your life has contained so far.

And the man in front of you doesn't seem to understand how your world is seemingly falling apart before him. The pure confusion in his eyes is twisting your stomach and your feel like throwing up.

"I thought I knew you."

Your sobs has quieted down. Before, you weren't able to speak very well. You just had to wait the storm out until it came rushing back ten times worse next time.

"You do, darling. You always have."

Calm as a snake and laid back. He doesn't even seem to realize that every word spoken will matter in the following moments of actions where you will decide both your fates for him.

"Did I, really? How can you look me in the eyes and say that with your disgusting pride!" You spit at the glass; aim at his feet but it doesn't seem to faze him a tiny bit. You want to bring out a reaction from him, cause maybe then, you would get some sense of honesty out of him.

"My disgusting pride? The world we're living in is disgusting and twisted. How can you even compare midgardians brutality and greediness to Asgards prosperity and beauty?"

You don't want to hear this talk again. Only a couple of years ago, you would have ignored it as just one of his endless bitter rants and thought nothing more of it, not knowing that he was actually planning to find an end to his irritation.

"(Y/n), darling, You have agreed with me on this! We agreed that humans are short minded, only good for the cause of starting a war between their own race and assassinate each other. Their petty little lives are doomed anyway."

You can't even process the amount of irony and hypocrisy seeping through his sentences. You want to scream at him. You want to hold him. You want to cry, give him a piece of your mind. But you want to fall asleep in his arms. You miss his embrace so much. Endless tiredness since he vanished, only to find he's become a monster.

Your fists attempts to break the glass once again, aiming at his perfect eyes. Those damn eyes. The same eyes you used to adore. You still do. Torn between what you want and what you should do.

"You had no right! Who are you to choose who gets to live and who doesn't?! Why should you be any different from the humans?"

Your words are no longer contained into normal conversation. Only now, Loki seems to actually start realizing the weight behind your rage.

"I did it for us, love! For you. How am I supposed to give you everything if I'm just a mere god, son of a bastard and feared of my own people. Is that the man to give you everything? Is it?"

You don't even know where the thought process of this has sparked in his mind. Never have you asked anything unusual from him, just endless trust and honesty. You have always supported him when no one else would and when nobody wanted anything to do with him. A shoulder to cry on or an ear for venting. You've heated him up with your warmth when he was feeling cold and kissed him back to health countless of times. You used to be his. In return you only asked for trust and honesty. And the funny thing? In the end, you got none of that.

"I never wanted the world, Loki! I wanted you! Couldn't you see that you were enough?"

"Why do you care about the midgardians so much? What have they done for you? Have they given you flowers when you were sad? Have they kept you company at nights where you were haunted by nightmares? Did they do any of those? Because I recall it was me who stood by you all those years!"

Why is he suddenly so angry? It makes no sense to you. When he for once speaks from his real thoughts, anger and frustration is still the feeling behind it. Even if he got his plan to destroy earth through, it wouldn't stop his burning hate.

"You speak like they are nothing but soulless objects, pawns for you to manipulate when you feel like it!"

"They need a group of unstable mutants to protect them from dangers! A bunch of heroes that they don't even really like sometimes. The heroes gets the blame of the catastrophe happening even if they are the one fighting it! Is that a society worth fighting for? Their beloved little heroes are nothing but fools."

"Everything is worth fighting for. You don't know these people, do you? And as for the people, the heroes are a beacon of hope; a sign to stand strong and come together!"

You stand quiet for a second. Your fist lowers itself against the hard surface.

"Against people like you."

You don't want to see him anymore. Heard enough. Ready to go. You've made you decision. Because how could there ever be a change to this man? When he's been hiding his true nature behind your back for so long? Did you even know who you loved? Could you even call it love?

"Did you ever love me? Or was I just being fooled this entire time?"

Concern is now displaying on him for real. Maybe he's realize where you're going; what you're about to say.

"Why would you ask that? I love you more than anything! (Y/n), please understand this! I'd do anything for you!"

"Then tell me one single moment, just one, where you've spent time with me and thought 'I could be satisfied with this. I don't need power. I'm good with what I have'."

You heart is aching with anticipation. It's almost fatal. You don't want to know but he must realize it himself before you can finish.

And you can really see how he's trying. He's trying so hard for you, he thinks. He probably thinks he's tried doing everything for you; when he really just needed not to do anything at all. And just like you guessed, there comes no words. He knows you'll see if he's lying and knows you're right. But you don't ever think he will ever regret his attack for the right reasons. Nor for you, to get you back. No, you'll never accept that.

"I can't live like this, Loki. Can't you see you're breaking my heart?"

"I didn't mean to-"

"No. You didn't mean to do it, right? That's what you're gonna say... But I've heard enough. You have made a decision. And it's about time that I make mine as well."

The realization hits him almost instantly. And all the traces of his usually calm manner were gone in an instant. He's no longer standing with hands clasped behind his back. But they're clawing and pawning at the glass keeping the two of you apart. Loneliness is the one fatal emotion he hasn't dared himself to feel for years with you by his side. But now when it all might be taken away from him in a matter of seconds? How is he supposed to react?

He's begging, pleading, punching and screaming. Sobbing and begging even more. His silvertounge can't save him now. Nothing can save him now from the unruly fate. A path he himself had laid out beneath his feet.

"Please, (Y/n) I love you! I don't want to be here alone!"

...

"Please... It's cold and dark. I can't breathe without your warmth! Just.. Please!"

You can't stand to hear any more. His pleading is too much and you've stayed enough.

Your heart feels like it's being torn in half by your own hands as you turn around, the cold of your back hitting him in the deepest depths of his despair. And it sets him off.

You're going to leave him. The only purely good thing in his life is going to leave him. Where is he going to get his hugs? It doesn't matter because they won't be from you. Is he even going to remember your face when time has passed? Will he even remember your laugh, smile or your goofy little moments together? Will you find somebody else? Forget about him and move on.

Loki doesn't want you to move on; doesn't want you to move at all. He's ready to do whatever it takes to get you to stay.

And he would, if there wasn't a thick wall between you, keeping him from you no matter how hard he slammed it or how loudly he screamed at you.

Pleading became despair and despair led to threats; the only solution left to try.

He knew it was wrong. Wrong to threaten a loved one, especially you. But he would never accept his fate knowing that he hadn't tried anything in his power to make the only thing left for him to love slip past his hands.

But a tiny part of him knows that you won't hear him. Won't listen to him like those late summer nights under the moon on a cozy blanket, you tightly wrapped into his embrace with a content smile on your face.

Or the time when a sudden attack of sorrow and anxiety hit him in the middle of the night and you held him close to your chest while whispering sweet assurances for him to fall asleep to.

You had been his anchor to the real world.

You were the only thing to keep him sane enough.

But it wasn't enough in the end.

You had been his hero.

But not even a hero could save someone's world sometimes.

Especially when he was the one ruining it.

His love.

(Y/n)

[sweetcherrypie1967]

Halloween Gala (pt 2)

"Granger?"

"Malfoy?"

The two both stared at each other speechless, and what could they say? Neither of them had so much as seen one another since the Battle of Hogwarts and that wasn't the best memory for either.

Hermione didn't even know how to react. She was on the verge of running out of there as fast as possible but at the same time she wanted to stay, he was still the same charming man she had been talking to all night after all. Truth be told, she paid attention when hearing someone mention the name Draco Malfoy or even seeing it in the Daily Prophet. Hermione knew he had changed, but how much?

Draco, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether to let her go to give her some space, in case she tried to punch him like she had in their third year, or to simply wait for her to react first. While he no longer had little to any qualms with the mysterious woman turning out to be Hermione Granger, he had absolutely no idea how she's going to take him being Draco Malfoy. After all, he had tormented her the most during his stay at Hogwarts.

He waited for some reaction, any reaction, but it didn't seem to be coming and it was starting to get awkward just holding her like this with people staring so he gently let her go. She was just looking at him with those big brown doe eyes of hers and Draco knew he had to say something. The anticipation and urge to break the deafening silence was killing him. He blurted our the first thing he could think of.

"Wow I, uh, haven't seen you since..." Draco began but then realized he'd better not go down that road, "..well a long time."

Hermione seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in as she shook her head and fumbled out a, "yeah."

Draco looked around for anything to talk about when he remembered where they are. "You work at the Ministry?" He asked and noticed others began to stop staring and go on with the party.

"How's you know that?" Hermione asked genuinely confused, though coming back to her original self.

Draco simply gestured around them.

"Oh! Right, yes I work in the Auror Research department," she informed him.

"Really? I'm an Auror, how on Earth have we not bumped into each other sooner?" He asked.

"I have no idea! I have heard Harry and Ron say that you work with them occasionally though," Hermione said cautious about bringing them up. She wasn't sure where he stood with them anymore.

Draco smiled, to her utter shock, "the blokes have been gossiping, have they?" He said amused. As if on que, they appeared.

"Us? Gossiping? I'm offended Malfoy," Harry said.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Draco said to which Harry chuckled.

"Oi, is 'Mione alright? She looks like her head might explode," Ron joked.

"I-I what? Am I missing something here?" Hermione stuttered out.

"Only a lot it seems," Draco said.

"How and when did this happen?" She said gesturing you the three of them.

"Well after the three of us here finished our Auror training, Malfoy started his. At first none of us liked it but when we had our first assignment, we all had each other's back and it all seemed to change from their," Harry explained.

So why didn't either of you tell me?" Hermione asked and her two closest friends gave her an apologetic look. She vaguely noticed that the music had started again.

"Sorry 'bout that, we just weren't sure how you'd react to it. You don't go out into the field much so we didn't think you'd understand," Ron explained.

"I also asked them not to, I wanted to talk to you myself," Draco said with a sheepish smile, "I didn't know you bloody well work so closely to us and I would've expected to run into you a lot sooner than now."

"It's better late than never, right? And by the looks of it the two of you've really hit it off tonight so it works out just fine," Harry said given both of them a knowing look to which both blushed at their very public kiss.

"Yeah.." Draco said rubbing the back of his neck, "at least I found out where I recognized you from."

All of them laughed.

"Oh, by the way, have you seen Ginny? I haven't seen her since our...talk," Harry asked a bit embarrassed at how unsuccessful it had gone.

He was trying to apologize for how they left things and before he knew it, they were arguing and she stomped away. Harry felt awful and wanted to make sure she was ok.

"I think I found her," Draco said amused as he pointed off to the other end of the dance floor where Ginny and none other than Blaise Zabini were dancing. They looked like there was no one else in the world, similar to how Draco and Hermione had felt. People were starting to leave as most of the excitement was over so it wasn't hard to see them.

Harry's face grew pale at the look on his recent ex girlfriends face, he felt a pang in his chest that she was apparently moving on so quickly but he knew that it was for the best. After all, he was the one who broke up with her and it was a few months ago. He tried not to let it show.

"I'll just..talk to her later then," Harry said not able to keep the sadness from his voice.

"It's alright, Mate, now you can ask out that girl," Draco said trying to be helpful but careful not to say her name.

"Girl?" Ron and Hermione questioned simultaneously as Harry's face turned red from embarrassment at the blond's words.

"I-uh-think I'm going to turn in, it's late and-" Harry started before being cut off.

"Harry," Hermione said gently, "you can tell us, who is she?"

Harry looked at Ron but he nodded in encouragement, "it's Luna," Harry said quietly.

"Luna Lovegood?" Hermione questioned, at his nod she smiled, "oh that's lovely! I did have a feeling there was something special between you two awhile back."

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Yes, she understood you better then well any of us could and I think she suits you, Harry," Hermione told him. Harry thanked her and the attention went to Ron.

"I mean I'm surprised but Hermione has a point, if she'll make you happy then why not? You don't need our approval," Ron told him.

"Thank you guys," Harry said then yawned, "but really, I'd better get home."

They all said their goodbyes to Harry and then Ron decided to leave also, Hermione suspected that Harry had something to do with Ron's sudden decision so the two would be alone. Hermione loved them and knew they were just trying to help, but now she was alone with him and didn't have a clue what to say.

"Since they're gone, I'd like to formally apologize to you. I've been nothing but awful to you at Hogwarts and I know an apology won't change the hurt I've cause but I really truly am sorry, Hermione. For all of it. I've worked hard to change into a better man and I'd like to think I've done a good job so far,," Draco told her as searched her face for her reaction, "I understand if you can't forgive me, I probably wouldn't forgive me either, but I've really had a wonderful time with you tonight and I hope that perhaps we could start over?"

Hermione didn't expect such a apology but she could tell he meant every word, besides, if Harry and Ron could forgive him and even be friends with him, then that's enough for her. She had thoroughly enjoyed her time with him as well, and Hermione didn't want it to end here.

"Thank you, I think that's a wonderful idea. I'll never forget what happened, it's helped to shape who I am now, but I'm willing to give you another chance and forgive you," Hermione told him with a smile.

Draco was so happy that she had forgiven him and accepted his offer to start over that, without much thinking, he had lifted her up and spun her before putting her back on the ground. After he had lifted her he worried that might not have been the best move, however she simply laughed at the action with a bright smile on her face. He set her down and dramatically held out his hand.

"Would the lovely Miss Granger care to have one last dance to end the night?" Draco asked.

Hermione giggled and took his hand, "why yes indeed."

At this they began to dance to the music, they laughed and had danced more than once before finally parting. This Halloween night would be one to remember for many, many years to come.

[msilwrites]

(A 3AM Update) A True Gentleman, Chapter 21 - A jealous husband?

A/N: Chapter 21 is up! Isaac confronts Diana, like a jealous husband! By the way, Henry, Diana's cousin face claim is 'Henry Cavill', and Sam McLean's face claim is Sam Heughan.

Oh, before I forget, if you don't like the story, please do move on to others, the internet has lots of them. Please don't hurt writers, ya? Good! so without further ado...

TWENTY-ONE

A jealous husband

"Diana!" her cousin, Henry approaches her. "That was a stellar performance!" he compliments.

Every time Henry and she are seen together, people often mistake them for siblings. The blue cold eyes, thick eyebrows, strong jawline, and dark hair were the signature that belonged to their family.

"Thank you, Henry!" was her grateful reply. "But I know why you are here for, go and lead the way!" she says, as he leads her to where her father sat. She knew what Henry approached her for. It was time for her father's interrogation and lengthy sermon.

Francis watched Henry, followed by Diana, approaching him where he sat.

"Relax Uncle..." Henry says, as he taps his uncle's shoulder, telling him to listen instead of scolding Diana. He then walks away to give the two space.

He took a deep breath before turning to his daughter. " Why don't you take a seat..." he offers, patting the empty space beside him, which she took.

"First of all, why are you singing at a wedding?" he tried to sound calm instead of being confrontational.

" I was trying to earn money to buy a 3D Printer," was her direct answer.

" Why?"

"I'm trying to build a small workshop studio, and I need a 3d printer..."

"Oh..." Francis was taken aback, he didn't expect his daughter to have such plans. "But what happened to the money you got from the sale of your old penthouse with Jesse?"

"That, I'm keeping it to the side. I plan to use it to buy real estate and most probably have the place rented for passive income. If not, I'll turn it into the workshop studio. I planned to save money, but I think I'd earn more if I were to rent the place out."

His eyes widened in disbelief, was this still the same Diana whom he met a few weeks ago? No! This Diana has ambition, plans and direction. She was actively taking charge of her life. "Wow! I did not expect that... That is actually a good plan"

Diana smiled and just nodded.

"Do you need help?" he offers, sincerely this time, without a hint of being condescending.

"Maybe? From time to time, Thank you! Da!" Diana says gratefully. "Your advice and input would be helpful from time to time" she adds.

"That was a stellar performance by the way!" Francis complements his daughter. " Those wedding songs reminds me of a time when I was..." he said trying to find the word.

"Hopeful? Yes, I did feel the same..." she admits to her father.

Francis sighs. " You know, I really did love your mother. It may have not gone well for the both of us, but not once did I regret loving her,"

Diana looks at her father, surprised at his sudden confession. Not once did her father open up to her about this issue.

"Why?!"

"Why what?"

"Da! She hurt you!" she exclaims.

"Yes, she did... and I may have done things that I shouldn't have, but what happened to us in the past, is what makes us who we are now. We grow and become wiser,"

"I guess you do have a good point..." she agrees. It made her think about her past abusive relationships, and what it thought her. Though it was terrible, it made her learn and it made her wiser.

"So how did you exactly end up here?"

"That's a really long story..."

" We have a lot of time,"

She began her story (omitting some parts of course) and told him about the music director Aedan looking for an alto-soprano which led her to where she is now.

"I see... I am glad you're able to use your classical training, anyways, when is the date of your performance?" he inquired.

"Why?"

"I want to see it of course!" he declares.

**********

"I see trees of green. Red roses too, I see them bloom. For me and you. And I think to myself, What a wonderful world..." Diana opens the dance floor for everyone, with the song 'What a wonderful world'. The strings followed, in harmony with her voice.

Couples, young and old, approached the dance floor and began dancing to the sweet tune.

The night was about to end, and she was grateful that her performance went well. Hopefully, she would also perform well with the orchestra at the outdoor theatre.

"I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do They're really saying I love you..."

She scanned the area and saw her cousin, Henry, being surrounded by girls. She stopped her from rolling her eyes, knowing that he was a known ladies man, even since they were young. On one side was her father who seemed to be enjoying himself, chatting with others. The atmosphere felt jolly that she swore she'd try to catch up with Henry or talk some more with her father after finishing the song.

"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself... What a wonderful world Yes, I think to myself... What a wonderful world. Ooh, yes I think to myself... What a wonderful world..." and with the last verse, Diana closes the song and the audience applauded. She smiled and thought, that it was still somehow a wonderful world despite everything she had gone through, there was still things she was thankful for.

With a sigh, she gives a toast to the newly married couple, and then turned to the quintet and thanked them, which gained her another set of 'Thank you's coming from them.

She looks around and found the bar, wanting a cold drink, preferably a beer. It's been weeks since she had anything cold and gassy. It wouldn't hurt from time to time to have an ice-cold beer after a long day of singing.

Wasting no time, she requested a pint of ice-cold craft beer on tap from the bar-tender, and he quickly poured her one large pint, its surface bubbling.

"Good job out there, you earned it, enjoy!" the bartender says, before moving to other requests.

"Thanks!" was her response.

She looked around trying to find Henry or her father in the crowd, whilst drinking her glass. However, before she could even make a move. Her father had already gone up to the podium, about to start his 'godfather' speech and before she could even look for Henry, a handsome guy had already sat beside her and tried to engage her in a conversation.

"Hello..." was his greeting, his voice deep. She looked at the colour of his kilt's Tartan, and immediately knew which family he is from.

"Wait! your name is probably something McLean!" she declares.

"Oh! wait, are you a Scott too?! Well, I am Sam McLean..." he said, stretching his hand for a handshake which she gladly took. She felt a little confident today, and talking to a handsome man isn't so bad thing to do to pass the time. Unless he actually is an asshole otherwise. She already has an escape plan.

"You may call me, tonight..." was a flirty yet witty reply from her, causing Sam to laugh. "Or you may address me as, Diana"

"Well, Diana, that was a stellar performance throughout..." he compliments.

"Thank you! I'm glad you like it,"

"You have a very nice voice! So... may I buy you a drink?!" he offers.

"Of course! Or you could get me food since I haven't had my fill yet..." she said sheepishly, not having eaten anything yet.

"Oh! of course! what do you want to eat? I'll get it for you!" he offers.

" Cake" she implores, placing both her hands together as if praying.

"Of course, I'll be right back!" he said, immediately taking a small slice on a plate for her.

"There you go! Enjoy!" he says, pushing the small plate to her.

"Thank You, Sam!" she chuckles at the mention of his name. It was the same as the pseudonym she used when she wrote those 'love' letters to herself. "Thank you. I'd say 'God Bless you!', but it looks like He already did." was her flirtatious reply followed by a wink.

Sam bit his lips and laughed. He didn't know how to respond to that. "Thanks... I guess..." he holds his laughter, and clears her throat, "So Diana, what do you do? Besides singing? "

"I am independently impecunious..." was her answer.

Sam throws his head back laughing, knowing that he had found a hilarious person and the night will definitely not be boring.

"Enough about me, Sam! Let's talk about how attractive you are!" she adds.

Sam takes a deep breath but ended up laughing once again. " You're too funny for words!" However, before he could even say more...

"Sammy, laddie, hands-off! that is my daughter you're flirting with!" Francis chastises Sam from the podium after he finished his speech, causing everyone to turn their attention to Diana and Sam at the bar, upon finding out that she is Francis' daughter.

"Well, nice to meet you Diana!" he says. "Yikes..." and slowly backs away from her. It didn't matter how beautiful she is to him, she was Francis's Rutherford's daughter and there is no way she would want to incur her father's wrath.

"Sam? wait!" she says, perplexed at his sudden change.

**********

"Sam is an international playboy, he isn't the ideal man to date!" Henry says as he fiddled with his phone. Seated beside him inside the car is his cousin Diana, whom he ended up sending back home instead, as his Uncle, Francis, still had to stay at the wedding reception.

"Oho! You're one to talk Henry! " Diana chuckles, knowing her cousin's reputation.

"It can't be helped..." was his response.

"Should I tell the girls who chase after you, the same thing you told me?"

"It won't work... they'll chase after me more!" he declares, and both of them erupted in laughter, including their chauffeur in the front seat of the car, at how true the statement was.

"Well, aren't you afraid I'd chase Sam more?" she asks.

"You won't" was his quick reply.

"Because life has already knocked some sense out of you..." was his confident statement, aware of what Diana had gone through, all those years.

"I guess you're right," she sighs and smiles at herself, turning her attention to the view outside the car, whilst a classical piano rendition of 'Moon River' played inside the vehicle, making it a relaxing atmosphere.

"Lady Rutherford, we're here..." their chauffeur announces, and he gets out of the 'Ghost' to open the car for her.

"Thank you, Higgins!" she says, referring to Henry's chauffeur who opened the car door for her.

Henry followed after, alighting at the other side of the car. "Let me send you to your door..." he offers.

"Yes, walk me there," she says, as Henry walked beside her.

"We should have lunch sometime, eh? It's been a long time since I caught up with you!"

"Yes, we should do that" she agrees.

" If you don't mind, Mum wants to catch up with you too, can she come along?"

"Of course Aunt Minerva is more than welcome! How long has it been?!" she realizes suddenly that she had met her immediately family for years now since she started her relationship with Jesse, that was no longer the case now.

"It's set then" he declares, trying to find a spot inside his phone's calendar. "I'll set the time next weekend..."

"Alright! Well here's my door" she says turning to him to give him a quick hug.

Henry gladly returns her embrace " I'm glad you're in a better place now!" he adds, giving her shoulder a squeeze as an affirmation. "Well, I have to go, I have an early day tomorrow!"

However, before Henry could leave, the door opens to reveal Isaac, glaring at him.

"I'd normally say get a room, but this isn't a hotel" was the first thing Isaac said, the moment he opened the door, and 'caught' Diana, and some man, embracing each other in front of his door.

Henry looked at him puzzled, and when he realized that Isaac got the wrong idea about them, he released Diana from his arms. "Eww..." he grimaced and quickly turns around and gave a two-finger salute before he left "See you, Diana!"

Diana took a deep breath and suppressed the urge to burp before entering the house. She had four large pints of beer and 2 slices of cake which made her feel bloated, which made her feel regretful going on a drinking spree.

"Diana?" Isaac called, which she almost didn't notice because she was busy nursing the bloatedness.

"Mmmmm?"

"Remember you had 10 things you have to do for me?"

Diana just nods and covers her mouth, trying to burp as silent as she can. "Yes..."

"Well, I'm gonna use 1, let's have a talk..." was his stern reply.

"Dr Skovgaard? can we do this tomorrow?" she pleads, as she was bloated and tired.

"No, because I don't know where you will disappear to again..." he reprimands.

She sighs as she follows him to the dining room where a long session of scolding and preaching awaits her.

She sits down, resigned to her situation and prepared herself for Isaac's long preaching.

"Diana, you often disappear and reappear to I do not know where to, it's like I'm living with a Ghost. And when I message you, you do not respond..."

"But I do respond!" she reasons.

"Yes, two days later..."

"Oh... hehehe... I'm busy, sorry, please don't be mad at me" she apologizes, and laughs softly, struggling to also hide her drunkenness.

"Busy with what exactly??!!" he inhales sharply.

"Uhhh.... you know, things? work? earning a living?" she says a little sluggish. "You know, I gotta earn my keep..." the Scottish accent of hers, starting to come out.

"Men!?" he adds.

"Ahahaha yes... men" she giggles. "I'm not really busy with them, they're busy with me, which in turn... takes up a portion of my time, they're handsome, eye candies! So I guess it's worth the time..." she laughs.

"Unbelievable!" he throws his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Dr Skovgaard, what are you really scolding me for?" she says, trying to suppress another burp.

He sighs " First, you disappear to who knows where and then reappear a few days later! You leave my message on 'read' and respond to them a day or two later as if I'm a weird guy you have been avoiding, and then you came home late, drunk! In the arms of another man! Do you know how I felt, do you know worried I was?!" he stressed out.

Diana stares at the tall ceiling and then laughs at the realizations " You make me sound like a stray cat who just comes home to eat!"

"I never said anything like that." he shakes his head in disapproval.

"I know... I'm just visualizing..." she adds, waving it off.

"Diana, you're not taking any of this seriously-"

She didn't know if it was drunkenness, but she felt a little brave, and without warning, got up from her seat and wrapped her arms around Isaac. "Alright, my love... I'm sorry, so sorry, I promise not to do it again!" she says, as her arms tighten around his waist.

Isaac, caught off-guard, stood there, frozen, unsure of how to react. "Diana?"

Diana just laughed, as she brought her hands to his cheeks. If anyone were to see them right now, it would look like they were a couple making up, after having a banter. "Oh, Dr Skovgaard... you sound just like a jealous husband!" she exclaims and laughs at his face. "You know I'd normally kiss you, but I'm not your beau..." she adds, tapping his cheek. "So, let's end this argument, and call it a day! I'm sorry, alright?! Good Night!" she says, kissing his cheek.

Isaac jolted in surprise due to her actions. He felt his cheeks, starting to get warm.

She releases Isaac from her embrace and sluggishly walked back upstairs, to her room, whilst singing a funny Scottish folk song and laughing halfway.

He sits down for a moment to collect himself and tried to process what had just happened. Trying to make sense of the feeling he currently has in his chest.

A/N: I have most probably made some grammatical errors, here and there... so I'd do some soft editing. I hope you enjoyed this one! I would also love to hear from you in the comments below.

[prettytragcdies]

3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 17, 18, 23 roleplaying technique meme thing

roleplay / writing habits

Are you proficient in any language outside of your native tongue? do you write characters that speak multiple languages?

I took Spanish in eighth grade, two years of French in high school, and just recently learned a few Slovene words, but I'm definitely not fluent enough in any of them tbh. While some of my muses might be able to speak more than one language, I probably won't actively write any of them a lot.

What time of day are you most productive with regard to writing?

This one can vary from time to time, actually. Sometimes it's later at night, and sometimes like right now it's late morning and early afternoon. It honestly just depends on when I'm feeling the most inspiration, really.

Do you proofread / edit as you write or do you just wing it and save editing for last?

About ninety-nine percent of the time, I normally just type out the entire reply and then go back once I'm finished and proofread through it to check for any spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, repetitive words, etc.

Do you reply to threads you have the most inspiration for first or do you work on them in the order in which you received them?

I definitely reply to the threads that I have the most inspiration for first, otherwise a lot of things wouldn't get done. I mean, I'm obviously going to have more muse for a thread I'm actively enjoying and can't wait to read the next reply for, right? So yeah, definitely the more feelsy, the more inspiration.

What is your average length / word count regarding roleplay replies? does the length of your partner’s replies matter or is important to you?

I can't even answer these questions without writing a lengthy response, so that should tell you everything you need to know right there lol. The length of my partner's response matters in the sense that if I put effort into mine, I'd hope they'd do the same with theirs. It doesn't always have to be equal, but I'm not really a fan of one pargaraph responses to my like seven paragraphs. ...if that makes sense. I don't know. I'm just super descriptive and enjoy writing multi paragraph to mini novella replies too much for my own good, I guess.

Have you ever had a roleplay partner who helped you to improve something about your own writing quality?

Of course, all the time. I love seeing how other people's writing is so unique from my own. I enjoy learning little things that help me know a certain piece of writing is definitely the work of so and so. That probably only makes sense in my head, but ah well. I like reading how other authors put you in their scene, especially when it teaches me new words to try in my own writing or new perspectives and ways of looking at certain things.

I'm probably getting off topic and making no sense, but I certainly wouldn't be where I am today creative writing wise without the help and influence of some of my partners over the years. Making each other better is all part of the fun.

Is there another hobbyist or writer whose style or content is one that you enjoy? Is there anything specific that stands out to you about it?

I probably should have saved parts of my last answer for this one, oops. Anyway, yours is one that I've always enjoyed, hence the reason we've been writing together for so long and partially why I start some of these new shows so that we can continue with even more muses. As for what stands out, I'd have to say your descriptions, word choice, backstories / headcanons, and especially plot ideas. Oh, and let's not forget your willingness to bring the feels and lengthy threads.

As for someone who didn't send this ask, labyriinths is one of the first people to come to mind. I just really enjoy seeing her threads on my dash, even when they're not to me. The way she words certain situations are in ways I never would think to attempt myself, so it's always interesting learning how differently someone else can see something from you. Well, assuming that makes sense. But yeah, I like her characterization and how she makes things her own and leaves me excited to reply or wanting to test new muses so I can write against more of hers.

What subjects / genres do you find yourself becoming the most passionate about when you’re writing?

I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can never have too much angst. I mean, I prefer to be realistic about it and prefer emotional over physical, but you get the idea. I'm not really capable of doing a lot of pure, soft fluff, but I do really love my share of flangst. For whatever reason, it's just more feelsy that way, and I'm all about the feels, whether it be romantic or platonic. Family (fl)angst is at the top of my list nine times out of ten, so that's usually when some of those novella threads might find themselves on the dash.

[d-noona]

BARTERED BRIDE - Chapter 4

Ch 04 - Lunch Meeting

Kim Namjoon is a ruthless financier used to buying and selling stocks, shares and priceless artifacts. But now Namjoon has his eye on a very different acquisition - Park Han Byeol. Left destitute by her father's recent death, Han Byeol walks into Namjoon's bank looking to extend her overdraft. As Han Byeol needs money and Namjoon needs a wife, he proposes the perfect deal: he'll rescue her financially if she agrees to marry him. But in this marriage of convenience can Han Byeol ever be anything more than just a bartered bride?

Masterlist

"I nearly kept you waiting," said Namjoon. "I came back from the bank at eleven to go run in the park. As I was coming home I saw an old man on a bench who was obviously in need of medical attention. That held me up."

"Do you run everyday?" Han Byeol asks.

"I try to. Are you a runner?"

Han Byeol shook her head. "I play tennis and ski. I don't do work-outs."

He slanted an appraising glance at her figure. Today, in place of a black suit, she was wearing a designer outfit bought on a holiday in Italy. It consisted f a fine jersey-knit top in lilac, a waistcoat in violet, and swirling chevron-striped skirt combining those colors with pink and pale pistachio-green. The audacious color combination was perfect with Han Byeol's dark hair and brown eyes. "You look in great shape," he remarked. "But people in desk jobs like mine need some kind of fitness regime to stave off the bad effects of a sedentary lifestyle. Come and sit down. What would you like to drink before lunch?"

She remembered his remark about the wine she had been drinking when he forced his way in the previous evening. Was he one of those people who drank only mineral water and made everyone who didn't feel on a lower plane? Han Byeol had no intention of allowing him to intimidate her. "A Campari and soda, please," she said firmly.

Namjoon said to the butler, who had been following them at a discreet distance, "A Campari for Miss Park and my usual, please, Curtis." With a silent inclination of the head, the butler withdrew.

"Let's sit over here, shall we?" Namjoon steered her towards a group of comfortable chairs near one of the windows. "Have you finished your packing?"

"Almost"

Knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep, she had worked on it till long past midnight. At half past nine this morning a dealer whom she had ought a lot of furnishings had come round to buy them back. Luckily Han Byeol had paid for them out of her bank account. Although the money in it had come from her father, technically they were her property, not his. As soon as his business had been forced into receivership, everything her father had owned, including the family home belonged to his business creditors. But the cash the dealer had handed her could go in her pocket. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing if, when Namjoon spelt out the terms of his trade off marriage, she found that she couldn't accept them. Looking up at the elegant cornice around the ceiling and the two crystal chandeliers, their chains swathed with coral tassels at the tops of the heavy cream curtains.

"Are you interested in architecture?" He sounded faintly surprised.

"Sometimes."

The butler came back with their drinks, hers a slight more vivid red than the coral linen slipcovers on some of the sofas, Namjoon's colorless except for a twist of lemon floating among the ice cubes. It could be in or vodka, or it could straight mineral water. Namjoon said, "This was my grandparents' house. My paternal grandmother still lives here when she's not staying with her daughters". I moved here when my father died. We had been living in Ilsan. I have an apartment near Gangnam but I thought you would feel more comfortable being entertained in the main house," he added with a gleam of amusement. After a slight pause, he added "I shall move out when I marry. The province is better for children, if their parents can choose where to live. Most people can't of course."

"Where are you thinking of moving to?" Han Byeol asked.

"I haven't decided." His expression was enigmatic. "Where would you choose to live, given a free choice?"

Han Byeol considered the question. Once the answer would have been "Wherever Yoongi wants to live." She said, "Ideally I'd like more sun than we get in this city. I wouldn't mind living by the sea, getting some fresh air...or a lake would do as long as it has mountains round it. I'd like to look out on mountains...big ones with snow on top."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Sounds as if New Zealand would suit you."

She shook her head. "I'm sure it's a beautiful country but it's too far away from Korea. Have you been there?"

Namjoon nodded. "The scenery's magnificent...when it's not raining. Unreliable weather. I went with old friends, you might know them since they run in the same circles you do. Where have your travels taken you?"

"Mostly to holiday places...the Caribbean in winter...resorts round the Med in summer. My mother's a passionate gardener. She doesn't like travelling alone, even in a group. I've been on some garden tours with her...the south of France, Ireland, California. Where do you for holidays?" Han Byeol takes a sip of her Campari.

"I used to go with my father who also liked someone with him. We went to Japan together and other Pacific Rim countries. I travel a lot for the bank. For pleasure I usually go to France, Greece or Spain. Where would you like to go for our honeymoon?"

The question, tacked on to innocuous small talk, took her by surprise. "I haven't agreed to marry you," she said coldly.

"If you found the idea unthinkable, you wouldn't be here," he said dryly. "Let's be straight with each other Han Byeol. I need you...you need me. It's a sensible, practical arrangement."

She knew that at least the first part of what he said was true, but she wasn't about to admit it. Was it pride that made her reluctant to fall in with his plan too readily? She said, "I'm not clear why you've selected me."

"You're very attractive...as I am sure you're aware." he smiles at her gently.

"Is that all you want from a woman? An acceptable face and figure? Don't you care what I'm like inside?" Han Byeol scoffed.

'I can make some intelligent guesses. People can't hide their characters," he told her casually. "Even in repose a face gives a lot of clues to its owner's temperament. Apart from yesterday's evidence that you have a short fuse, I haven't detected any characteristics I wouldn't like to live with."

His arrogance took her breath away. In that moment of shock, she was struck by the thought it would be both a challenge and public service to bring this man down from his lofty pinnacle and convert him into an acceptably unassuming person. But perhaps it was already too late . One of gran's favorite sayings was, "What's bred in the bone must come out in flesh." Namjoon with his long-boned thoroughbred physique and his handsome features, looked a descendant of generations of men who had felt themselves to be superior beings and never experienced the doubts felt by ordinary people.

In a different, more rough-hewn way, her father had been the same. Probably somewhere far back in Namjoon's ancestry, there had been a man like her father: a rough-diamond unscrupulous go-getter who had founded the Park Fortune. Perhaps if Mr. Park had married someone better equipped to handle him than her quiet and easily cowed mother, her father might have been saved from becoming an overbearing braggart. Whether, at thirty four, Namjoon's essential nature could be modified was problematical. But it could be interesting to try.

She said, "I don't find you as transparent as you seem to find me. It takes me longer to make up my mind about people;"

"You haven't had as much experience of summing up people as I have."

The butler reappeared. "Luncheon is ready when you are, sir."

They ate in a smaller room with a view of a large garden, an oasis of well kept greenery in the heart of the city. The surface of the round Regency breakfast table had a gleaming patina resulting from years of regular polishing' It reflected the colors and shapes of the red-streaked white tulips arranged in a what Han Byeol recognized as an antique tulip pot, its many spouts designed to support the stems of flowers which had once been costly status symbols. The meal began with potted shrimps served with crisp Melba toast, tiny green gherkins and white wine, which they continued to drink with the main course, chicken with minty yogurt dressing.

While they ate Namjoon talked about plays and art shows he had been to recently. It was the kind of conversation made by strangers at formal lunch parties and although his comments were interesting Han Byeol thought his choice of subject was irrelevant to this particular situation. When the butler had withdrawn, leaving them to help themselves to a fruit salad with fromage frais, or to selection of more substantial cheeses, she said, "Why do you want a wife when you could go on having girlfriends and a change them when you get bored?"

Offering her elegant Waterford compote, its apparent fragility emphasizing the powerful but equally elegant form of the hands in which it was cradled, he looked at her with unexpected sternness. "I have a responsibility to my line. I need sons to carry on the traditions established by my predecessors."

She found this solemnly irritating. "Are you expecting me to provide proof of my fertility?" Before she could add that, if he was, he could forget it, Namjoon said, "No, I'm prepared to chance that."

"Big deal!" Han Byeol said sarcastically.

She had a feeling that Namjoon wouldn't hesitate to divorce her if she failed to live up to his expectations in some way. But although he struck her as a monster of cold-hearted self-centeredness, she couldn't deny that he was extraordinarily attractive. Every movement he had made since they sat down had heightened her awareness of the lean and muscular physique inside the well-cut suit and the long legs under the table. His hair was dry now but still had a sheen of health. There was nothing about him suggestive of stress or tension. He seemed entirely relaxed. Yet why did he need to arrange a businesslike marriage instead of falling in love the way people usually did?

Wondering, suddenly, if he might be in the same situation as herself, heartbroken, although it didn't seem likely, she said, "When did you dream up this scheme?"

"It's an idea I've had for some time...probably since my contemporaries started divorcing. I have about a dozen god-children, most whom now have step parents, some official, some not. I don't want that for my children."

"Did you parents stay married?" she asked.

It seemed to her that his face underwent a change. His lips didn't tighten. His eyebrows didn't draw together. But there was a subtle hardening and chilling, reminding her of the impression she had received that morning when they sat on opposite sides of his imposing desk/ Now they were at a table designed for a more intimate and relaxed conversation. But she sensed a change in the atmosphere and knew she had trespassed in an area of his where she was an unwelcome intruder.

"They separated. They were never divorced," he answered.

Han Byeol wanted to ask hold he had been when the separation happened, but something made her hold her tongue. Later, going back to the flat in the taxi he had laid on for her, she regretted her curiousity.

When-in-two people were going to marry, there shouldn't be any "No go" areas between them...or at least none of that nature. His past girlfriends were not her business, but his family life certainly was. She shouldn't have allowed herself to be put off. From now on she wouldn't be, she told herself firmly.