#I wouldn’t wish it on the person I hate the most
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Mission Parameters - 1/?
Written in conjuction with @bloodgulchblog's Touchstone way back last December when we both started throwing MillerChief (we can't keep calling it Milf) ideas around. Not quite ready to post in its entirety but I wanted to share a chunk for Potluck2024
To the dozens of you who now care about/ know who Miller is, thank you for playing in this space with us.
-
Spartans aren’t machines.
It’s a truth, a hard one that he’s having a difficult time internalizing. He understands on some level, but John’s never been one to include himself in any sort of kindness. Knowing something is one thing, believing it is harder. Especially when he wasn’t made to believe. He was made into a tool in order to spare others. He was made into a symbol to inspire them, to encourage more sacrifices that he thought they’d be spared from. They believe in him, even though he fails - even though he’s an imperfect paradox. He knows it is his burden to bear. John had not been happy to learn about the generations after him. Another bitter pill to swallow. Another truth; the UNSC, the UEG, and ONI would do everything in their power to maintain and grow their grip on survival and victory. That was a truth he knew and believed. He had had his part in that, in saving humanity he told himself, but now it was looking like that part may be over.
The IIIs surprised him, but they were familiar, having lived the majority of their lives as Spartans. They moved like Spartans, walked and talked like Spartans, were off-kilter amongst civilians like Spartans. The IVs were a different beast altogether- still Spartans, but with all the lived experiences of Helljumpers, SpecOps, and even some civilian types. Prodigies and geniuses. Spartans who chose to become a weapon-and-person. Ones who grew up hearing stories of him and decided they wanted it too- wanted to do their duty, not called upon to serve but vying for a chance to prove themselves or get even with the Covenant. Eager to become a number. Giving anything and everything to hit back.
It rankled some part of him that John tried his best not to listen to. The IIs did what had to be done. Wasn’t it supposed to stop with them? He wouldn’t wish the process on anyone, but the new hands jumped at the opportunity. They were still Spartans, but what did that mean now? Why were they still needed? And what was he supposed to do when he was outnumbered in a sea of the next model? Some of them were born after he’d put on the armor. Most of them had only ever known war, only ever seen humanity pushed to the brink. The ones he worked with were good people, but there was something sinister about the whole thing. They didn’t see him as an equal, he was a benchmark, a standard, and an unreachable one at that. The lucky one despite him hating that word. But the IVs didn’t know. He wasn’t a man or a tool to them. He was the Master Chief, the Spartan, the touchstone of the entire program-turned-branch. Their eyes glazed with propaganda and their words greased with blood. He wasn’t sure whose.
John didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. Recent events have had everyone worried about John. His team is worried. Commander Palmer and Captain Lasky are worried. Admiral Hood is worried, but at least John doesn’t have to look him in the eye as often as the others. He and Blue Team have been effectively grounded and put under close watch after disobeying orders. Everyone’s worried about the Master Chief and his insubordination. A handful are worried about John 117, but there’s one person still alive who’s worried about John in the most mundane of ways.
The babysitter. One Spartan Jared Miller. The guy on the radio telling them things they already know. Except that’s not true. Truthfully- again John had to acknowledge the truths staring him in the face- truthfully, having a handler had been… interesting. Blue Team had shared looks when they were told that they were going to test out handlers to see who’d be a good fit for them. The Blue Team, legends in the field who had been in active combat longer than most of their current peers had been alive. Getting a handler for them seemed like blasphemy. But having an eye in the sky watching their backs and giving them real time updates that didn’t cost them breaking cover or silence was…nice. Nice things didn’t happen to Blue Team. Spartans weren’t given support- they were the support. They were the boots on the ground and more often than not, the fodder that threw itself on the wheels to stop the war machine from devouring humanity. Now the tools were supposed to be people and have an entire network of handlers and techs and medical crew to care for and maintain them?
John had woken up to a changed galaxy.
Under orders Kelly-087, Fred-104, Linda-058, and John-117 ran drill after drill, exercise after exercise, and every simulation the War Games AI had with the few Spartan handlers stationed on the Infinity. That’s why John even knows Miller exists; Blue Team running the gamut of exercises with each Spartan mission handler to find the best fit. They don’t need one, never had, but what it meant to be a Spartan had changed while he was away. It’s still changing, growing around and past him. John isn’t entirely sure how he feels about it. Spartans existing and being promoted in the public eye, receiving preferential treatment, being looked after and support more than he’s ever known in his entire career. It was all so uncomfortable. John had thought he’d gotten used to being uncomfortable.
Spartans were evolving and he had to get with the times in order to not be left behind. More than that, John didn’t want to be a liability to his team. He just got them back and didn’t want to lose them again. A small dark part of him wonders if they would be better off without him. An aging Spartan who had run its course and should disappear quietly rather than drag out this misery in some kind of spectacle. John was tired of being an example.
John thought Miller was doing a good job, he just needed the confidence that came with experience. He was a fine handler for Blue Team after John had slipped his leash and gone off on his own, showing some unlikable non-Spartan characteristics. After Biko. Spartan IIs didn’t get grounded, but times had changed and there was a whole branch for them now. No more operating in shadows and being more myth than fact. The brass had been unhappy at the Master Chief going AWOL, Commander Palmer had been unhappy at them going against orders and making a mess for her, and Captain Lasky had been unhappy that John had decided to run away rather than deal with his failures. John was unhappy about that as well and it was why he was here, doing this.
A self-assigned mission, to figure out and help if he could.
Miller had a hard time not getting trapped in his own head. It's something John's seen in a lot of good soldiers over the years. Many good people he’s worked with struggle with shouldering the decisions they’ve made, the things they’ve seen.. John’s no exception. Miller's… just more obvious about it.
Miller pouts, he worries, he frets. It seems like anytime John looks at the man there's some kind of doubt clouding his face. Miller sticks out among the uniform sea of techsuits and buzz cuts because it’s the one un-Spartan thing the UNSC hasn’t seemed to iron out of him yet. He’s visibly nervous all the time. It's why John approached him.
Jared Miller seemed to be the one Spartan on the ship with more obvious problems than him. John wanted to find out why. Miller was a puzzle of anxiety, almost too tightly wound for a Spartan. But then John had seen him work, listened to him deliver intel and direct his own team. Spartan Miller was a fine handler, detail-oriented, mission-focused, and quick to respond to out-of-control scenarios. He just needed confidence both on and off comms, for his own good and the good of the fireteams under his leadership.
And John was going to help him. A handful of people had always told him he needed a hobby. John didn’t know what to do with himself, so he was focusing on someone else. It helped put things into perspective in a way. The IVs confused him, in some ways more than the civilian contractors and scientists that moved easily amongst the Spartans. More than the team of techs who insisted on his care and maintenance rather than letting him do what he’s always done. The entire culture of warships had shifted while he was asleep. John was a remnant of an older age haunting the new hires. There weren’t supposed to be Spartans after his class – his family. They had been called upon to serve-taken, to endure, so that there wouldn’t be a need anymore. So to quell the storm of thoughts he got anytime he left his quarters, John decided to study Miller. Fred said he was going to give the guy complexes, but John had thought about his time since waking up and running. He could learn, and maybe he could teach.
The fact that there were two generations of Spartans after the IIs weighed on John, but it was another thing he was going to have to learn to live with. The fact that there were 300 Spartan milling about on the Infinity was mind-boggling, and he would just have to adjust. With the ship now in drydock, many of the crew were taking the rare chance to stretch their legs and go planet-side. John was not. He was avoiding his team and avoiding the looks he got. He was having a harder time adjusting than he would ever care to admit, or even think. He was finding ways to keep moving even if Blue Team’s wings were clipped. John was entertaining something with the one person who was more anxious than him and who worried about John for the wrong reasons.
He needed to stop lying to himself. They weren’t the wrong reasons, but it was a novel sensation to have someone worry about his well-being in such a mundane way. Blue Team is worried John is going to work himself to death or snap, Command is worried about that too and doing damage control to whatever next mistake he makes. Miller is worried about John’s feelings while they dance around each other in this game of almost flirting and calling bluffs. It’s a game of chicken but with what John thinks are what normal stakes look like.
#john 117#Spartan Miller#halo fanfic#my writing#potluck2024#this is old so be kind#there's 3k more sitting in scrivener. maybe you'll see more before next potluck#if I have a different place of employment by then LMAO#grenade out
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I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”
#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because#if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅#in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him#is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen#heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️#goddamn#“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️”#maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake#your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗*#dora daily#if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to#observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀#let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing#basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️#( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively )#guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap#LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable#anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life#<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️
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great i just did my skincare and now i’m crying again
#i can’t stop my thoughts from spiraling#i just feel so useless and pathetic#i’m a burden to my family and the only person who truly cares about me is my dad#and i always fear that if smth happens to him i’ll have no one left who cares about me#and i know that’s a terribly selfish thought but not having a single person that genuinely cares about you is so scary to me#i wish i could just fall asleep and not wake up again i’m sorry for being so pessimistic but i’m in so much pain rn and this life is just#so unbearable most of the time#yes there are some fleeting moments of joy but most of the time i just go through the motions or i’m struggling badly#like sometimes i come home from my job to exhausted to even eat dinner i just fall into my bed absolutely drained#i also struggle with insomnia so obviously i’m oftentimes like a zombie at work#and to now have so called colleagues claiming i’m barely working and just sitting around hurts so much when i know i already do my best and#try so hard like it’s really like a knife to the back#i wish it wouldn’t face me bc i know it’s not true and the fact they didn’t have the decency to talk to me about it first says way more#about them than about me#they’re cowards and bullies!!!#and i hate that they make me feel this way#like this whole ordeal hurt me so much i’m laying here questioning my whole life wishing i won’t wake up anymore…#☁️
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~ ~ ~
#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely#I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend#I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real#it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me#it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them#and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life#I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation#I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately#I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this#I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations#and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore#I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me#I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life#but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to#at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all#just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days#it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever#it’s times like these I wanna fade away#if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of#idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with#pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place#I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything#just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way#like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago#just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that#personal
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a “fun fact about me” is actually that i have a fascinating interior life and i’m in love with the whole world. just so you know
#i hate being asked this question!! i am the most boring person in the world#especially because like. what am i going to say. ‘oh sometimes i write fanfiction? i have an active fandom blog on tumblr.com’? no thanks!#‘just say you like to write!’ oh yeah and then give them the chance to look at the All Of Me and be like#‘girl be honest. is it fic’#no thanks!! i’ll dodge that question if at all possible!#unfortunately this comes at the expense of just having to be like ‘uhhh…. i like to read’ whenever this comes up#and this is not me saying that fandom is my Only Hobby so don’t come after me it’s just. it is an important hobby to me! it is for better o#worse how i choose to spend a decent amount of my free time!#and sometimes i wish i wouldn’t rather die than give people the opportunity to wonder about whether or not i have a fandom life. you know?#but unfortunately. i would#and the other thing is that actually not all of my writing IS fanfic but. it’s not like i’m going to show anyone that shit yet either!#you can read it ifwhen it ever gets published and at no time before :)#caseyposting
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Man-
There are random people online and ones I’m mutuals with or random people I interact with more than others in discord servers and stuff who I want to like, befriend properly
But the way I interact with people doesn’t allow for me to really spend time with them enough to build a true friendship, especially because one-on-one messaging stresses me out and annoys me 99% of the time (unless I’m the one to initiate, which rarely happens)
I love talking in groups, puts less pressure on me, but it also allows me to just not pay proper attention to individuals as much as I’d like?
Idk, I just wanted to ramble a little here as a lil note that if we’ve ever interacted and it was positive, I really appreciate you and would most likely love to get to know you personally cus I just really like knowing people, but my brain is stinky and rude so I prolly won’t ever take a proper first step to approach you about it but you ARE in fact my friend in my heart.
#rambles#I think I’m too self-centered and that that’s why the only people I can call close friends -#- are all in a server where I have my own space to just scream into the void about whatever I’m up to#and then sometimes through the day they peek in to talk to me#and also share their own stuff in other spaces for me to glance at when I have spoons for it#I just wish I was easier to truly befriend#I’m so social and I love knowing people but I hate LEARNING about them#I hate the parts where I have to always act a way befitting my own standards#show whatever side of me I want to flaunt for each conversation#not just my good side - it changes with my mood (rapidly)#I’m too particular about how my interactions with others go#I know I deserve friendships and I know I’m a great person to be around - but it’s really hard to actively interact with me -#- in a way that I can enjoy properly#my memory only works when I’m not in a mood to talk or if I’m too anxious about trying to start something I can’t keep up with#blegh#not really a vent but also a lil bit-?#idk man#I just really like being friends with people when I can but my brain gets in the way#I’m extremely self-centered which is a big root of this problem too#most prolly wouldn’t think so from how likely I am to actively step in to help people and be nice to others#but I live for and focus on myself and how I’m percieved 90% of the time
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happy five years since i spoke to my abusive grandma to me <3
#she’s sick in the hospital and people are telling me i should go make peace like#HUH? the woman who told me she hated me the most#the woman who refused to have my school photos up in her house because she said they were ugly#the woman who used to send me to bed in the middle of the afternoon so she wouldn’t have to hang out with me#the woman who used to refuse to feed us 💀#the woman who took me on a bus when i was 7 and told me to yell at the black lady for sitting down?#the woman who used to show me off to her friends as ‘the lazy grandchild’#the woman who told me i was stupid#the woman who said she wished my parents never met so i wouldn’t have been born#THAT GRANDMA?? YOU WANT ME TO MAKE PEACE WITH HER???#no thanks. die ❤️#personal#SORRY FOR RANTING I HAVE GRANDMOMMY ISSUES OK
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Sometimes I think I have an average amount of sex and then I tell my friends a sex story and they’re like you’re lying
#and im like oh yeah huh that was actually insane behavior and your average person wouldn’t dream of doing that#i think part of it too is I wish those wild things were still happening lol I literally don’t have TIME#but I hate how most of my fave stories happened like a year ago#personal#mine#txt
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i'm begging for that ex!charles fic. ex!trope is always a must
comeback - cl16
summary: charles and yn break up after seven years together and they also break everyone’s hearts. did they find their way back to each other?
folkie radio: silly little smau for the end of the summer break! i hope you like this, i love the ex trope
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
2023
liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 302,268 others
yourinstagram 7 years with my love 🥹 to celebrate, here’s a picture of us circa our last year of high school when we were just little babies. i love you @/charles_leclerc 🤍
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username1 AWEEEE
username2 THE CUTEST EVERRR
pascale_leclerc Mes bébés ❤️ ♥︎ by author
username3 THE STANDARD
username4 BABY CHARLIEEE MY HEART
landonorris I want what you have ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc
lorenzotl Did I take that picture?
↳ charles_leclerc Most likely
↳ yourinstagram our personal photographer since forever
username5 the real high school sweethearts i can’t wait for their wedding ♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc Best seven years ever. Je t’aime ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram i love you forever 🤍🤍
liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1,028,634 others
charles_leclerc Happy birthday to mon amour @/yourinstagram ❤️ Seven years celebrating with you and I wouldn’t have it any other way, I hope I made you happy today, I love you
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username1 HAPPY BDAYYYY YN
username2 istg this couple is everything to me
carlossainz55 Happy birthday @/yourinstagram 🎉 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
username3 BDAY PROPOSAL??
↳ username1 lmfao we wish
pierregasly Best party ever ! ♥︎ by author, francisca.cgomes, lancestroll, yourinstagram
scuderiaferrari Happy birthday to the Ferrari girl ❤️ ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
username4 if they ever break up i’ll stop believing in love
arthur_leclerc Love you both ! ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram
landonorris I’m still drunk
↳ charles_leclerc This is no surprise to anyone
↳ username1 HEEELP
yourinstagram you always make me happy, i love you 🤍 ♥︎ by author
liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 2,278,354 others
charles_leclerc and yourinstagtam After seven wonderful years together, we have made the difficult decision to end our romantic relationship. This was a mutual agreement and one made thinking about what was best for each other. While we may be going our separate ways romantically, we want to emphasize that our bond remains strong. We still share a deep friendship and hold a tremendous amount of love and respect for each other.
We kindly request that neither of us be subjected to any hateful comments or speculation from the media or fans. We appreciate your respect for our privacy as we navigate this new chapter in our lives.
-Charles & YN
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username1 GOD PLEASE NOOOOOOO
username2 just fell to my knees
landonorris You will always remain as my favorite couple 🥲
↳ username1 LANDO NOW ITS NOT THE TIME
francisca.cgomes Love you both so much 💗
↳ username3 kika has been promoted to #1 wag now that yn is no longer in the picture
username3 well now my heart is broken
username4 i started reading this and i thought zayn was leaving one direction again
username5 THERES NO WAY THIS IS REAL. they’re high school lovers charles always talked about yn being his first love SEVEN years together how did this happen
pierregasly ❤️
username6 yn can’t leave her wag status, i suggest she dates russell now
arthur_leclerc You will always be family @yourinstagtam 🫶
↳ username2 why did this make me cry
username8 seven years and no ring wow
username9 i hope we still see yn in the paddock from time to time :(((
username10 having major isa and carlos flashbacks
username11 this is so sad. how can you fall out of love with someone you’ve shared nearly a decade with
username12 i will be crying forever over this
yourinstagram has added to their stories
replies:
username1 the fact that this is charles’ car 🥲🥲
username2 just in my char-yn heart
francisca.cgomes i miss you so much around here, any chance you could come soon? 🥹
↳ yourinstagram is still too soon for that kiks :(
landonorris If you ever want to come to a race just let me know and I’ll send you some passes okay
↳ yourinstagram you’re a cutie lan ty
leclerc_pascale Ma belle, We miss you so much ❤️
↳ yourinstagram ❤️❤️
2024
liked by yourinstagram, pierregasly and 1,204,062 others
charles_leclerc Testing doneeee.
Cannot wait for the first race of the season next week !
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username1 IM SO READYYYYYY
username2 FORZA CHARLES
scuderiaferrari We go again 🙌
username3 let this season be good i’m begging
carlossainz55 🔥🔥
username4 first season without yn (yes i’m still mourning)
username5 season of single charles
yourinstagram best of lucks 🤍 you can do this ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 HUH???
↳ username2 AM I READING THIS RIGHT?
↳ username3 i had to triple check this wasn’t a fake account
↳ username4 YN BROKE PUBLIC NO CONTACT OMFG
↳ username5 GET BACK TOGETHER WE’RE BEGGING
yourinstagram has added to their stories
replies:
username1 UM HELLO THE AUS GP IS TOMORROW?
username2 my delusional ass wants me to believe you’re going to the GP
francisca.cgomes IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS ???
↳ yourinstagram 👀👀
↳ yourinstagram it’s very lowkey tho, i don’t want to be spotted so i’ll be hiding in the corners
↳ francisca.cgomes Don’t care, we’re grabbing lunch together
landonorris You freaking muppet, you didn’t fall me you were back in Perceval’s arms
↳ yourinstagram because i’m not, lan
↳ landonorris sure sure
charles_leclerc ❤️
liked by username1, username2 and 25,837 others
f1gossip Charles Leclerc and ex girlfriend YN spotted together at the Australian GP
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username1 OMFGGGGGG
username2 AH I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
username3 THEY’RE BACK????
username4 please this was bound to happen there was no way they were breaking up for real after seven years
username5 it only took a year but WE’RE SO BACK
username6 y’all jumping into conclusions that they’re back together but yn could just be hanging out there bc she loves f1
username7 sadly i don’t think they’re back together
liked by charles_leclerc, lilyhme and 536,397 others
yourinstagram recents 💌
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username1 my favorite dumps istg
username2 UMMM ARE WE ALL THINKING THE SAME THING
username3 ferrer jacket ? a man? miami? kika? YUP CHAR-YN IS BACK
francisca.cgomes Reunited and it feels so good 🤍 ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram love you forever
landonorris Absolutely heartbroken bc I didn’t make it ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 hear me out, lando and yn 👀
↳ username2 wouldn’t sound too crazy tbh
↳ yourinstagram next time maybe!
username4 THATS CHARLES IN THE SECOND PIC JAHSIS I KNOW MY MAN
↳ username3 that’s also his jacket in the first pic
username5 GIRL ADDRESS THE RUMORS
arthur_leclerc Please bring cookies for dinner tonight ♥︎ by author
↳ username3 LIKE DINNER WITH THE LECLERCS ??
↳ yourinstagram on it 🫡
username6 CHARLES IN THE LIKES ASWELL
username7 everyone assuming that she’s back with charles have you ever heard about being friendly with your ex ♥︎ by author
↳ username2 liking this comment won’t fool us yn
liked by username1, username2 and 18,486 others
charlesandyn YN IS AT THE MONACO GRAND PRIX RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL !!!!!
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username1 AHHHHHH OMFG
username2 WITH MAMA PASCALE TOO
username3 THEY'RE SO BACK TOGETHER
username4 guys don't get your hopes up of course she was going to be there this is such a huge day
username5 she's still part of charles' life even tho they're not together anymore
username6 CHARYN IS SOOOO BACK
username7 LETS FCKING GO
liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 675,095 others
yourinstagram MONACO LOVES HIM BACK ❤️🤍 we waited so long for this day, but it was all worth it. it has been a journey to watch you fight for this dream for so many years, and i feel honored to be part of it today. everyone is beyond proud of you, charlie. congratulations
view all 9,550 comments
username1 OMFGGGGG
username2 MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS
username3 WE'RE SO BACKKKKK
lorenzotl 🙌🙌🙌🙌
username4 this is how a supportive ex looks like
username5 yn needed to be there for his monaco win i’m happy she still attended even tho they’re not together
username6 THEY’RE SO BACK TOGETHER THERE’S NO WAY
landonorris Not me crying right now ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 me actually
↳ username2 LANDO 😭😭😭
username7 AH I JUST NEED THEM TO CONFIRM THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER
pascale_leclerc ❤️❤️
fracisca.cgomes BRAVO CHARLES 🎉
username8 as much as i want the rumors to be true this is just a healthy friendship after sharing so many years together
username9 don’t give me “exes can be friends” bullshit THEY’RE TOGETHER
charles_leclerc ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 DONT DO THIS TO US
↳ username2 JUST CONFIRM IT
liked by pierregasly, yourinstagram and 1,170,665
charles_leclerc Half of the season done. Some ups like realizing a childhood dream in Monaco and some downs, but it’s time to rest and come back stronger for the second half. I can’t wait to spend the holidays with some special people 🤍
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username1 this picture is so iconic
username2 hi charles are you spending the holidays with your ex girlfriend hopefully your girlfriend again?? we would like to know
instagram have a great holiday king 😌
scuderiaferrari Here’s to a great second half of the season ❤️
username3 ARE YOU AND YN BACK TOGETHER ???
username4 and when he spends the holidays with yn
username5 summer break means char-yn comeback i don’t make the rules
pierregasly 🙌🙌🙌
username6 ignore this comment if you and yn are back together
username7 comment section full of char-yn comments GET A GRIP
yourinstagram 💘 ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 THERE SHE IS
↳ username2 THEYRE SO BACK TOGETHER
↳ username3 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH
yourinstagram has added to their stories
replies:
username1 BESTIE ARE YOU BACK WITH CHARLES??
username2 charles’ yatch ?? 👀👀
arthur_leclerc I hate you guys for not taking me with you
↳ yourinstagram romantic getaway sorry bro
iamrebeccad 😍
charles_leclerc Come back here ❤️
↳ yourinstagram you’re so needy
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f1gossip 🚨 CHARLES LECLERC AND YN SPOTTED ON A YATCH IN MALLORCA TODAY
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username1 OMFG
username2 I KNEW IT I KNEW ITTTT
username3 PRETENDS TO BE SHOCKED
username4 ABOUT DAMN TIME
username5 AHH im happy they got back together they’re made for each other
username6 THE BEST COUPLE IS BACKKKKK
username7 THIS CURED MY DEPRESSION
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yourinstagram this love came back to me 🤍
tagged: charles_leclerc
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username1 AHHHHHH
username2 IM LOSING IT
francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹🥹🥹 ♥︎ by author
username3 THE TAYLOR LYRIC JUST KILL ME ALREADY
arthur_leclerc Not me tearing up ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 😭😭😭😭
username4 they found their way back to each other i could cry ♥︎ by author
leclerc_pascale ❤️
username5 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED
landonorris MY PARENTS MY PARENTS ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc
↳ username2 he just gets it
↳ username3 lando was begging for this to happen
username6 THAT TWITTER ACCOUNT WAS RIGHT ALL THIS TIME
lilymhe the lyrics 🥺 im happy for you ♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc L'amour de ma vie. Forever ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 AND IM CRYING AGAIN
↳ username2 DONT BREAK UP EVER AGAIN
↳ username3 they’re the reason i believe in love
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charles_leclerc Heart full ❤️
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username1 I’VE DIED AGAIN
username2 YES YES YES
username3 they even got a dog char-yn is stronger than ever
pierregasly 👏👏👏
landonorris If you need another one I can bark
↳ username1 LANDO JUST STOP
scuderiaferarri ❤️
username4 NOW GET MARRIED
username5 came back stronger than ever fr
username6 HANG THIS IN THE LOUVRE
oscarpiastri 🙌🙌
username7 can’t believe they were really broken up for over a year WHAT WERE THEY THINKING
lorenzotl We love you both
yourinstagram Mon cœur 💓 ♥︎ by author
#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc fake instagram#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#charles leclerc fanfiction#harrysfolklore#f1 x reader#charles leclerc smut#f1 grid x reader#cl16 x reader#1k#2k
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How to not feel like an asshole when you did something that put your own interests first & could be seen as a rejection
#my boss messaged me saying one of our coworkers (who i barely know mind you) is in hospital with a broken leg and he apparently has asked#for me to visit him#and i read this and was immediately like ‘oh absolutely not’#like i wish this man no ill will. he’s a good guy and i hope he feels better soon#but 1) i barely know him. our interactions are limited to me serving him coffee and him showing me pictures of birds#i don’t have his number; i don’t have his fb; we’ve never seen each other outside of work and i don’t really know him#i would be confused and alarmed if he visited me in hospital and i’m not sure why he wants me to visit him#it’s not just the hospital thing; he’s someone whose house i wouldn’t go to either because I Do Not Know Him#the only way i’d agree to meet him in a secondary location would be if other people were with me#2) i hate hospitals. i visited my dad in hospital several times while he was dying and it always brings that back#plus i myself have a recurring knee injury that has now sent me to hospital twice and both times something bad has happened to me#you bring me into a hospital and my skin starts to physically itch all over and i start to cry#would i visit a close friend or family member or like a dying person who was asking for me? yes obviously#but a coworker i barely know who is literally going to be okay? sir. no. not unless you’re chill with me having a panic attack#if he had no one else to visit him then yes i would get my shit together and go but he has family members and a girlfriend and friends#i literally don’t know why he’d want me to visit him. i don’t even want to see me#3) and this is really the most important reason; i’m recovering from a dislocated knee lmao#‘visit me in hospital’ sir they barely just discharged ME. i can barely walk. it doesn’t seem wise#that was the reason i gave my manager. i was like ‘look i wish him all the best but i barely know this man and i cannot move’#she was understanding#i’m still baffled by the whole thing. WHY ME#it could be that he’s asking for everyone but if it’s just me… why. why#personal
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THE KISS BET.
PAIRING. Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader
SUMMARY. Your friends bet you to kiss Katsuki Bakugou. Fortunately for you, they’re offering you $500 for it. Unfortunately for you, the two of you absolutely hate each other.
CW. third year, angst to fluff, light hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, mature humor, feelings, language
WC. ~2.8k
A/N. enjoy :3
You and your group of friends had a running gig. Bets.
The group would bet one person to do something, on a scale from normal to outrageous, and that person’s turn wouldn’t end until they complete that bet. Of course, depending on how crazy the bet is, everyone would put in some amount of money.
The most you’d gotten was $100 total from accepting a date from creep in the business class. Worst date of your life, but Jirou felt bad so she gave you an extra $50.
As the lot of you gather around the campfire, everyone offers up their money to Mina who had just done her bet to put laxatives in Kirishima’s drink. There were a lot of questions about the morality of it, but you ignored it and gave her a crisp $20.
“Y/N~ it’s your turn!” Ochako gleed.
You roll your eyes, “I feel like I just did my other bet, which by the way was shit,” the girls laugh at your words. “I feel like all of you get the easier ones,”
“Easy? I had to kiss Monoma, do you know how hard that was? He knows I’m lesbian so imagine how hard that was for me to convince him,” Yaoyorozu sighs with a palm to her face.
“Oh, whatever,” Mina says with a clap of her hands, “You want a hard one, Y/N?”
“I mean that’s the whole point of paying each other to do bets, they’re supposed to be hard,”
“Be careful what you wish for,” Mina smirks before standing up and pointing at you.
“I bet you $100,” your ears perk up.
“-to kiss–,” your eyes widen but listen nonetheless.
“Katsuki Bakugou,” your world falls apart.
“Mina, no,”
“Y/N, yes,” she jumps up and down, “It’s too late, I already said it,”
All the other girls are hooting and hollering, but you just sit there in silence as you stare at the flames. Are you really going to try this?
As you consider your options the other girls start placing their bet offerings.
“$75 from me,” Tsuyu calls out.
Then from Hagakure, “$50,”
“$150,” from none other than Yaoyorozu.
“I guess I’ll put in $80,” Jirou smiles at your misery.
“Hmm, I’ll even it out with $45, so $500 flat for you, Y/N,” Ochako smiles.
$500?!? You’d be outright stupid to deny such a big amount of money. But you’d even stupider to think Katsuki Bakugou would kiss you of all people.
“I think that’s impossible,” you whine as the other girls poke fun at you.
“I guess only time will tell,” Mina grabs your hands and smiles, “Good luck, Y/N,”
—
You can hear the rambunctiousness of your class before you walk in. When you walk through the doors, your eyes scan the class before your eyes lock in on Katsuki Bakugou. You groan with a roll of your eyes before stomping your way towards him.
“Hey, Katsuki,” you stare down at him, “You want to do me a favor,”
“For you? I rather eat shit,” he grumbles as he meets your gaze.
“You’re a freak,” you already knew this was going to be hard, “Please,”
“Mm, depends, what’s in it for me?”
“I guess you’ll find out,” you say. “Kiss me,”
It feels like the class goes silent as the two of you continue to just stare at each other. He opens his mouth then closes it.
“You– The fuck?” His eyes are scattering as the words continue to process through his mind, “What a weirdo, hell no,” then he’s pushing himself out of his seat and making his way to the door.
“You know class starts in 5 minutes right?” you call to him.
“Fuck off,” he grunts as he shuts the door behind him.
Yep, definitely hard.
—
The next time you bother Bakugou for a kiss is when the two of you are paired up for combat training. Much against his will.
“Katsuki~” you call out as you dodge another blow from him. “You can’t avoid me forever,”
“Yes-” another explosion, “I can,”
You go on the offense as you continue, “Just a peck, please. I’m a good kisser, I promise,”
“You’re shit,” he’s grumbling between dodges of your attacks.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you send him a wink before getting a hit on him.
Bakugou groans, about to send another remark, when the training ends with a blow of a whistle.
The two of you meet eyes one last time, “Think it over, kay?” you smile before walking away.
—
Knock, knock.
You stand at Bakugou’s door.
“Go away, perv,”
“Aw, how did you know it was me? You missed me?”
“I can just tell by the stench,”
You laugh a little at his words, “Please, let me explain to you and maybe you’ll reconsider,”
You can hear footsteps, and you smile. When he opens the door he’s adorned in his classic black tank and some sweats.
“You should put some clothes on, perv,” you mock. “Anyways, it was a bet from my friends and there’s $500 on the line, so if you would just–”
“I don’t kiss just anyone, princess,” the nickname causes you to fluster, but you shake it off as he continues, “You gotta earn it,”
He’s got a stupid smirk on his face, and you didn’t even realize it but he’s definitely leaning closer to you. It’s sending butterflies– well maybe more like moths– into your stomach.
“What the– You’re definitely the pervert. I’m just going to ask to call it off,” you fake gag, “Later, loser,”
“You’ll be back, nerd,”
You internally groan as you hear him shut the door, ignoring the intense heartbeat in your chest.
—
“No,” Mina says.
“What?! I told you it’s impossible,” you argue, all of your friends on the other side of the argument.
“No it’s not, he said you had to earn it right?” Mina retorts, “So obviously there’s a way, you’re just stubborn,”
“You’re really not asking me to… You guys are crazy. Please, please, I’ll take anyone else, anything else,”
“Sorry, Y/N, it’s the rules,” Tsuyu looks at you with pity.
“He hates me and I hate him! That’s all there is to it. It’s not going to happen,”
“Why do you guys even hate each other? It’s our third year, get over it already,” Jirou teases.
“Because he’s a dick and I refuse to let him walk all over me! I just cursed him out one time for calling me weak. He’s the one who holds grudges because of his fragile, little heart,”
“You should’ve known he’d hold that against you, but I honestly doubt he hates you because of that,” Mina says. “He probably thought you looked hot,” she laughs.
Heat rushes to the tips of your eyes, “Whatever, all of you are weirdos. But anyways-”
“No, Y/N,” Mina states, end of subject.
“You all just want me to kill myself,” you groan as you sink into the couch. “Whatever, but I’m going to force all of you to double your offering if I actually do this shit,”
The girls cheer. You cry inside. Anything for money, you guess.
—
It seems like the universe heard about the predicament you were in, because it felt like you were suddenly around him more often ever since the bet had been set.
“You know, I don’t want to be on patrol with you either,” you grumble, kicking at rocks as the two of you walk up and down the roads of the dorms.
“Glad we agree,”
Silence washes over you both.
“Why don’t you want to kiss me? Am I ugly or something?” you ask, but it definitely comes off sadder than you intend.
“Don’t get all insecure because you don’t get a stupid kiss,” he looks the opposite direction of yours, “You know damn well you’re not ugly, so don’t piss me off,”
He had a strange way of saying stuff.
“Aw, you love me, don’t you?” you tease, poking at his arm.
“Ah you dumbass, pay attention,” you snap back into place with a laugh, “‘M just saying you’re better looking than some of these extras,”
You don’t know what to say in response to his words. Because they were surprisingly very sweet.
Realizing he had said too much, he changes the subject. “Let’s go this way,”
You follow him with a nod.
There was definitely a certain type of tension lingering that the two of you walked in near silence for the rest of the patrol.
You definitely were not repeating back his words in your head over and over again for the rest of the patrol. And Katsuki Bakugou was definitely not turning red because of what he said earlier. Definitely not.
—
After that patrol, things seemed to sort of shift between the two of you. And to say it was scary was an understatement.
Conversations wouldn’t always start off with the two of you insulting or cursing each other out. There’d be a hey or hello. If you guys saw each other in passing, he’d greet you with a nod of his head. Him being anything but passive aggressive towards you was terrifying because it was so not him.
“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out to you, you groan as you put your pencil down.
“I’m studying, what do you want, Katsuki?”
“Come with me to the movies after school today,” it’s not really a question, more like a command.
You put your hands to your mouth in fake(?) excitement, “You’re asking me on a date?! So kind, Katsuki,”
“It’s not a date, idiot. I’m going with Ei and Denki later, they’re bringing Jirou and Mina. They were teasing me for not bringing anyone, so come,”
“If I don’t?” you muse.
“Be there or be square, nerd,” he doesn’t take your bait, but you can tell he’d prefer it if you go. He walks away before you can respond.
Well, you guess you have plans later.
;;;
You meet up with the lot of them at the allotted time. The group walks together, and you thank God your friends have a questionable taste in men so you wouldn’t be stuck with some randos. But you also have half a mind to curse them out for leaving you to fend for yourself when you all arrive at the theater.
They left you with no choice but to sit with Bakugou. Part of you really hates it, but not as much as you hate the rate at which your heart beats.
For the most part, the two of you just sit there in awkwardness. The other couples indulge in that lovey dovey shit, and it makes you feel out of place. You zone out and get into your head. Was there a motive in asking you to come out here? He could’ve invited like… Midoriya… or Ochako… Or anyone, really. But, you? Does he like you? Or were you his last option to invite? Your head hurts from overthinking.
Your hand rests in your lap, picking at the material of your pants. At least that’s what it was doing. Until it happened.
From the corner of your eye, you watch as Bakugou slid his hand into yours. His fingers finding a comfortable place between your own. You release a deep breath when you realize you were holding your breath. Is he out of his fucking mind?
Despite your efforts to try and justify how much you absolutely hate it. You didn’t even try to stop him. You didn’t pull away. You didn’t let his hand go. And even as the movie ended, you actually felt sad when he slid his hand away.
The cool air of the night shocked you a bit when all of you made it outside.
“We were thinking of grabbing a bite, did you guys want to come?” Mina exclaims.
“Ooh, that sounds good, are you down, Jirou?”
“Sure, and you guys?” they all look at you.
“I- I have a stomach ache… Butter fucks with my stomach really bad,” the excuse is kind of weak, but still holds up as they all nod in understanding.
“I can walk you to the dorm,” Bakugou offers, and you don’t really give him a yes or no, he just follows you.
Kirishima and Mina whistle and holler as the two of you part ways with the rest of them.
Part of you regrets making up some stupid lie to go home. Because this was way more awkward than getting free pizza.
The two of you are right by each other as you walk in silence towards the dorm. You wait. And wait. Wait for him to bring it up. Why did he do that? Why did he grab your hand? Was it all a front?
Why is he treating you so well?
Even as he drops you off at your room, he says nothing. Just a simple “Goodnight,” before he’s making his way to the elevator.
What an asshole.
—
So you take the initiative. The initiative in ignoring him. You weren’t some casual fling. Fuck the bet, fuck him.
When you saw him making his way towards you, you were quick to get up and rush out of the classroom. When he nodded your directions in passing, it was easy to just walk past and not acknowledge him. Whatever there was between you and him, was gone. Whatever “it” was, exactly.
But you were okay. You guess. You were down $500 or $1000, but whatever. That game was bullshit anyways. You always got the worst bets. You kind of felt bad that you were the end of it, though.
It was easy to avoid him. That’s what you thought. At least until one week later, you found yourself cornered by your dorm room with nowhere to go.
“What the fuck is up with you?” he’s angry, you’d be stupid if you thought otherwise.
You cross your arms and avoid his intense gaze, “Whatever do you mean?”
He’s getting closer, and a tiny, like miniscule, part of you finds angry-him hot. “You know what the hell I mean, you’ve been avoiding me,”
“Nuh uh,” you retort, still avoiding the subject at hand. “I’ve just been busy, sorry,”
“Like hell, Racoon Eyes said you’ve been in your dorm room everyday, so try again, asshat,”
Fucking Mina.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” you poke at his chest, “Now get out of my way before I beat your ass,”
“Yeah? I’d like to see you try,” he’s smiling with mockery.
“Oh, I’m sure you’d like to be touched by me, you little virgin,” you inspect your nails in nonchalance, “Too bad, so sad, now move,”
“No, not until you answer me,” he’s a bit more serious now, you can sense it in his tone.
You groan, “Fine, not until you answer me, though. Why the fuck did you hold my hand and act like it didn’t happen? Am I like a joke to you?”
He straightens up and his eyes widen. He looks to the side, then back at you.
“You’re fuckin’ smart, why don’t you take a guess?”
“You’re not a baby, why don’t you use your words?”
You got him there.
“Maybe ‘cuz I like you, or something, idiot,”
You laugh. Laugh. Because he really thought you’d believe a stupid joke like that.
“You’re funny, but seriously, why did–”
A kiss. Katsuki Bakugou has always been known for his speed and his wit. But now you see it more than ever. As he steals a kiss from you. It happens faster than you’re able to even realize you’re leaning into it.
When the two of you part, it’s tense again. You don’t know if you should say something but he takes that choice from you.
“You think that was funny?” he asks.
“Well- no, but–”
“No buts, that’s that,”
“I didn’t even say I like you back! What if I didn’t-”
“Oh, so you do?” you jump up in realization you fumbled your words. “Good to know, princess,”
“Ugh, you’re so annoying. How was I supposed to know you liked me? You’re such an asshole, you know?”
“Really? Because this asshole just got you some cash,” he laughs referring to the bet, “But y’know, I don’t let just anyone call me Katsuki,”
You grit your teeth before throwing a punch at his arm, “Annoying! Annoying, so annoying,”
Another hearty laugh escapes from his lips as he pulls you into a hug. You didn’t even know Bakugou gave hugs. But you don’t mind it.
“You’re such a pervert, I bet you’ve been looking forward to that kiss,” he teases.
“Yeah? Well you’re a pervert for even kissing me in the first place,”
—
YOU: pay up bitches
YOU: i’m talking double btw
[164 new notifications]
You were rich and in love. What more could you ask for?
© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.
#bnha angst#bakugou angst#bakugo angst#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader angst#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha angst#raeworks
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Update they both hate me because I told the child one of them was harassing the acc he could block to try and stop it
#I knew they’d find out tbh and idc their reaction is all I need to know#the one that was harassing a minor is the same one someone said was a piece of shit when the psychiatrist stuff was happening#her bf stood by and watched her harass his friend like they’re both vague tweeting that oh well she didn’t know his age man idc the age just#made me more angry the fact that you did it in the first place is fucked up it always has been and y’all both know I think that#if y’all tweeted about not liking someone on priv and that was it I wouldn’t care#but it’s the constant pqrting because you know it’ll upset that person and give anxiety etc that makes it harassment and makes me mad#and now they’re both tweeting things like oh well you shouldn’t be following him at your big age how dare you disrespect us#an adult just knowing a minor is not a bad thing like holy shit get off the Internet please#plus I couldn’t message without following so I followed in hopes to be mutuals so I could warn him but I shouldn’t have to have an excuse#following isn’t some intimate thing y’all just wanna hate me more#she also tweeted about how I lied (I didn’t) and that she’d expose me#like for what? being a bad friend like two years ago? when we talked it out I fully agreed that yeah I shouldn’t have talked about those#topics etc bro I literally said there was no excuse and I’m sorry it all happened but it’s pretty obvious I have grown and changed to be#better you can’t expose me when I have receipts of me taking responsibility and doing what I could to show I was wrong#and I’m sorry how is trying to protect a minor who you are harassing the thing that drives you away for good#did I disrespect a toxic relationship oh no how dare I y’all need to get help friends of your partner shouldn’t be harassed just because bpd#jealousy like I have bpd too I really hate some of my bf’s friends and wish he wouldn’t talk to them but what do I do about it? nothing#i distract myself maybe but I know if I do what I want yknow like telling my bf to stop being friends with someone I know I’d be in the wron#and I know he should break up with me etc etc like that doesn’t mean I don’t have these thoughts which sure aren’t healthy but at least I’m#not fucking acting on them like at least give yourself a safe outlet idc when you just tweet about it on priv most of the time but this pqrt#shit has to stop if you wanna stay my friend I’m obviously at my limit with how y’all are both so content with how toxic y’all’s relationshi#is and won’t do anything about it to the point minors are being harassed but oh it’s okay I didn’t know and I stopped when I knew#how can you watch your bf harass a friend of yours just because y’all ARE FRIENDS god it’s so infuriating#she never apologized for the psychiatrist stuff btw lmao#I know they both want a reaction out of me so I’ll act first and apologize or something but I just don’t care anymore#I’m done man like that Drake and Josh episode but fuck Drake bell btw#kinda hope next time I open twt I’m blocked since they want a reaction so bad#like nah I’m tweeting like nothing happened because y’all really showed your priorities and morals#maybe y’all should do what your bpd tweets have been saying and just have eachother y’all don’t need anyone else
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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY
#it feels unreal#gonna cry#I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development#years#its like so unhealthy 🧍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering#I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation#anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC#pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically#my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent#I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl#who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily#yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE#like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING#I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!
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ੈ✩ hereby announcing (smau) ੈ✩
pairing : f1 grid x fem reader ; lewis hamilton x fem reader
summary : you can take the girl out of the sport, but not the sport out of the girl
tw : emotional, fluff
a/n : thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 this ends on a cliff hanger ! and the time span is during the 2020- 2021 grid 🫶🏻 I was literally listening to judas by lady gaga while writing this 💀
·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚
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ynshayk a last photo shoot with @ Ferrari and @ charlesleclerc before the season ends ! Thank you @ vogue for having us 🤩❤️
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user1 Y/N X CHARLES, THE LOOKS !?
user2 thank god she did not choose modelling
user3 WE DONT NEED THIS, WE NEED YOUR CONTRACT
user4 when are you signing the next wdc ?
user5 stop torturing us and GIVE US THE DEETS
user6 I hate that because of covid we can't even see her 😭
user7 I swear to god, this lady is a damn sadist
user8 MA’AM, YOUR NEXT YEAR CAR !?
user9 don’t tell me Ferrari Kip’s kicking her out
user10 ha, no-
user11 they love her
user12 I mean she does not have many wins -
user13 SHE HAS WAY MORE THEN CHARLES !?
user14 she got the seat after sebastian vettel, she deserved it
user15 2021 is Y/N’s year
liked by lewishamilton, scuderiaferrari and 3,479,489 others
ynshayk with the speculations going around with my contract, I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1 at the end of this 2020 season. It’s been a journey I wouldn’t forget, and with a very heavy heart and neck, I say goodbye to the tifosi family and sport 🏎️❤️🏎️ a very big thank you to @ charlesleclerc for supporting me when I felt it was not worth it, I couldn’t have reached this far without you 💪🏻
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user1 wha-
user2 WHAT !?
user3 DENIAL NO WAY
user4 don't do this to me at 3:57 am
user5 THIS MUST BE A JOKE
user6 IS IT APRIL 1?
user7 it's literally December
user8 crying a nile river here
user9 why did we not expect it
user10 we wanted a wdc 😭😭
user11 we support you whatever you do !!
scuderiaferrari please pass the tissues
user12 here admin 🤧
landonorris can’t believe you leaving me all alone 😔
liked by ynshayk
user13 next season, no chary/n?
charlesleclerc I will miss you too, shaky ❤️
liked by ynshayk
user14 we all know Charles cried while typing that
user15 shaky ? 💀
user16 it's a thing between them, Charles calls her shaky because after every win of hers, she always managed to fall down while getting if the car
lewishmailton congratulations on ending an excellent career 💪🏻🍾👏
liked by ynshayk
user17 the grid saying goodbye to her 😭😭😭😭
maxverstappen1 will miss you hijacking red bull headquarters
liked by ynshayk
user18 not max exposing her -
liked by ynshayk, carlossainz and 789,379 others
scuderiaferrari 3 years, 14 wins, 27 podiums, runner up world champion, rookie of the year, and a career which defied sayings. Y/N Shayk had an eventful career and we are glad that she was, she is and she always will be part of the tifosi family! Wishing her all the very best for her future !
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user1 admin I need tissues
user2 NOT THE OFFICIAL POST 😭😭
user3 I still can’t process it 😭
user4 I really wish this all turns out to be a bad dream
user5 the sebastian vettel horror
user6 ferrari lost seb and y/n
user7 who is the driver joining though ?
user8 I think they will announce near the new year
user9 ITS CARLOS
user10 WHAT
user11 check y/n's new post
user12 Carlos is replacing her
user13 MY CARLANDO !?
user14 carlos to Ferrari is deadly 💀
user15 and here I thought formula 1 was calm
user16 she came, she won and retired
user17 Rosberg inspiration 💪🏻
user18 SHE CAME, SHE SAW, SHE CAME, SHE SAW
liked by charleclerc, lewishamilton, carlossaimz and 2,589,378 others
ynshayk handing over my seat to one of the most talented person out there @ carlossainz, take care of @ chareslelcerc for me and try not to miss me too much 😙💪🏻😌 so excited for the 2021 grid 🤩
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user1 NOT MY CARLANDO BREAKING TOO !?
user2 WHAT IS THIS 2021!?
user3 FIRST CHARY/N AND NOW CARLANDO!?
user4 I am excited for the C square era
user5 LESSGOOO 💪🏻
user6 I love how y/n is laughing after giving up on ferrari strategies
user7 middle pic be her laughing after escaping the ferrari attic
user8 I am glad everyone is getting their happy ending
user9 the fans are not 😭😭
user10 what will y/n do now ?
user11 probably spend her millions
user12 she is rich ?
user13 HAHAH- it's an understatement
charesleclerc I swear I am not crying, something got in my eyes
liked by ynshayk
user14 CHARLES 😭😭
user15 of course it will be emotional, they literally grew up together 😭
user16 can't believe the shaky and charles era is over
carlossainz will do ❤️
liked by ynshayk
liked by user1, user2, user3 and 278,367 others
f1wags 7 time world champion, Lewis Hamilton was seen in Paris with ex- Formula 1 driver, Y/N Shayk. A normal outing or love in the city of love ?
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user1 that's it, I am going to the Himalayas
user2 I am coming too
user3 CANT WE GET ONE DAY WITHOUT DRAMA !?
user4 LIKE CHILL BRO LET US CHILL
user5 she literally said can't win one, but surely can fuck one -
user6 mate 💀
user7 LEWIS AND Y/N !?
user8 WHAT IS THEIR AGE GAP !?
user9 SHE IS BORN IN 1998
user10 13 years 💀
user11 they both are adults, can y'all calm down ?
user12 I am still not used to the ex formula driver 😭😭
#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 scenario#formula one scenarios#f1 imagine#formula one imagines#formula one imagine#f1 scenarios#f1 social media au#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton scenarios#lewis hamilton imagine#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#Smau#formula 1 x reader#lando norris#ferrari#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#f1 fanfiction#f1 texts#f1 grid x reader#formula 1 fic
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Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x fem!Reader
Synopsis: After being captured by The Ghoul, he had dragged you through the hot desert of the Wasteland. You were so thirsty, and you’d do anything for a drink of water. And you meant anything. Tags: Smut, Practically No Plot, Humiliation, Begging, Spit, Blowjobs, Throat Fucking, Thigh Riding, Biting, Hate Sex(?), maybe OOC The Ghoul but I think I got it right, Not Beta Read, there's still consent because i can’t write severe noncon Author's Note: i had so many “why am i writing this” moments yet i still finished it i’m so sorry.
You don’t think you’ve ever been this thirsty in your life.
Scratch that, you don’t think anyone’s ever been as thirsty as you currently are.
Even though you had no saliva left to swallow, you tried anyway, your throat feeling like sandpaper. It caused you to cough, earning a disgruntled noise from the ghoul currently holding you hostage.
The Ghoul. Infamous bounty hunter and the cruelest person you’d ever met. Of course, you only found out who he was after he captured you. You’d never even heard of a ghoul until a few days ago, your sheltered life in Vault 14 withholding information about the surface to you.
You wished you were back home, suffocating as it was. At home, you wouldn’t be forced to walk countless miles under the boiling Wasteland sun. At home, you wouldn’t have a lasso around your neck, preventing you from running off. And even if you did manage to somehow escape the rope confines, you’d seen how accurate of a shot he was. He’d kill you before you managed to keep a foot away from him.
You glanced back at him, The Ghoul, who had his sawed-off shotgun casually trained on you. He seemed unaffected by the heat, by the sun beating down on your faces. His hat made sure of that, and you supposed that you didn’t have to worry about sunburn if all your exposed skin was melted by radiation.
It had been hard, looking at him at first. After spending your entire life surrounded by “normal” humans, it was a shock seeing him for the first time. You’d seen burn scars before, sure, but never this severe, every inch of him covered in them. Of course, that wasn’t the most off-putting part. That had to be the complete lack of nose, an empty socket where the cartilaginous appendage should be.
It unsettled you deeply, but you found that you couldn’t stop looking at him, a sick part of your brain enjoying it. You didn’t dare delve into that part of your mind right now, though, your current circumstance is significantly more important.
He had stopped you in Filly, and after a brief discussion had decided that he was taking you with wherever he was going. You had no say in the decision, and even when you fought and kicked and screamed he still managed to get you bound. A few people tried to help, not because they cared about you, but because they had also wanted to get their hands on a “Vaultie”. Apparently, you were worth something to them up here, a commodity of sorts. It made your skin crawl. You’d gotten firsthand experience, then, of how good of a shot The Ghoul was.
How you longed to be back in the stuffy Vault, working as a teacher to those kids. As annoying as they were, at least they weren’t currently threatening your life, or making you walk to who the hell knows. You’d take that over this any day. Hell, you’d take latrine duty with overflowing toilets every single hour over this.
You fixed your attention back in front of you, the endless stretch of sandy dunes in front of you broken up by partially destroyed houses and skeletons of buildings. Your feet were in incredible amounts of pain, every step feeling like you had fifty pounds of bricks attached to your ankles. And that thirst, never ending, overwhelming thirst you felt nagged at you, consuming every thought of yours. You’d take anything to drink now, even that definitely radiated puddle you’d passed hours ago. Or was it minutes? You couldn’t tell.
You knew dehydration had long since started affecting you. You were no longer able to form sweat, and you were certain that your body was slowly cooking from the inside. You were almost certain it would be a better fate than whatever The Ghoul was leading you towards.
You hadn’t even realized he’d stopped until you felt a sharp tug at your throat, nearly toppling you on your ass. You heard him chuckle as you steadied yourself, and you shot him a glare. Even faced with death, you weren’t going to let yourself be treated like this. “We’re stopin’ here,” he gestured to a dilapidated building to his right.
You had been surprised when he spoke the first time, not expecting a southern drawl. You’d never heard an accent like his before, only ever hearing them on the Holotapes your Vault would play for movie night. You’d also believed them to be fake, or to have died out with the rest of humanity. You had to admit, the one good thing to come out of this whole experience was hearing his voice.
Momentarily confused as to why you were stopping, your eyes focused, and you realized that the sun was half set. You’d learned rather quickly that it was suicidal and stupid to travel across the Wasteland at night, after an almost perilous encountered with what you assumed to once be a bear. You’d barely escaped with your life, climbing a tree until the creature grew disinterested and found new prey.
You almost wished it had torn you apart then.
Apparently you were taking too long, and you felt another tug at the rope, pulling you closer to him. “Ain’t got all day, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. The name was anything but sweet, saying it with so much condescension that it made you flush angrily. At least, that’s what you told yourself.
Grumbling something under your breath, you stormed past him, another low chuckle leaving him. “Nothin’ good is gonna come from that mouth on ya,” he threatened, waving the gun at you in a go on motion.
The shifting sand nearly caused you to stumble as you ducked into the house through a window, and your eyes struggled to adjust to the low lighting. Holding your breath, you listened for anything else in the house besides the two of you, and when you were met with only your heartbeat, you continued further in.
Entering what used to be the living room, you saw a large couch, still in relatively decent condition, and luckily free of decomposed bodies. Any wood furniture, however, had already decayed, leaving only fragments where they once stood. You realized that if you were to sit on the couch, it would probably crumble under the weight.
The Ghoul entered behind you, and you made your way down the hallway, checking each room for anyone or anything that could do you harm. The first room was a bathroom, sand filling the bathtub like it was water. Out of desperation you almost tried to turn the handles on the sink, lift the seat of the toilet, do anything for a drop of water. But you refrained, not willing to stoop to that level yet. But you could feel that you were close.
The next room was a large master bedroom, completely destroyed from when the bombs fell. Sand covered everything, and the walls had practically caved in, leaving you exposed to the outside. There was no where you would stay there willingly tonight.
The third and final room was also completely devoid of life, but the empty crib in the middle of the room had you gasping, and you heard the click of a gun behind you as The Ghoul prepared for anything. You quickly shut the door. “Nothing, sorry,” you managed to croak out, and you heard him scoff.
However, you saw that he did manage to catch a glimpse of the room before you closed the door, and in those still human eyes you saw something flash through them. Sadness? Longing? Anger? You couldn’t tell, but you sure as hell weren’t about to ask him about it.
Living room it is, then. Heading back to the original room, you watch The Ghoul sit on the couch, right in the center of it. It held, surprisingly, but you could hear the wood groan in warning. Spreading his legs, you watched him tilt his head back, a content sigh leaving his mouth.
If you had the energy to blush, you would’ve as you watched him, finding yourself having to look away. Maybe dehydration was messing with your brain, the way you thought that was attractive. What the hell was wrong with you, you thought.
Thirst quickly chased those thoughts away, and you attempted to lick your dry lips, your tongue mostly sticking to them instead. You were about to go explore the bathroom until you remembered the rope around your neck.
Like he could read your thoughts, you watched him regard the lasso in his gloved hand. “You gonna run off on me if I take this off, sweetheart?”
You shook your head, excited to have the irritating rope no longer chafing your neck. “You’ll kill me before I could,” you responded, voice barely a whisper.
The Ghoul barked out a laugh. “Damn right I will.” He considered your response for a moment, and you fully believed that he was going to keep it there. That was until he stood, almost inhumanly fast, approaching you with long strides.
Holding your breath, you felt his tug the rope off your neck, those eerily human eyes never leaving yours as he did. You flinched when you felt one of his leather-clad fingers brush over the irritated skin. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest, mostly because of fear, but also for another reason that you refused to name.
With a satisfactory smirk, he looped the lasso back onto his belt. You quickly exhaled when he stepped away, eliciting a coughing fit, which was dry and only irritated your throat more. Fuck, you were so thirsty.
The Ghoul sat back on the couch in that same lounging position, and you debated sitting on the floor in front of him, but you feared that if you rested now then you’d never get back up. You watched him set a lantern on the ground, the weak oil based contraption the only source of light in the entire room. You didn’t ask why he didn’t start a fire; you also learned to not do that early on too.
So you remained standing, even though your feet screamed for relief. You ignored them, shifting to try and alleviate the pain slightly. Rubbing your neck, you could feel that he hadn't once taken his eyes off of you, and it was making you increasingly unnerved. “You gonna stand there all night?”
You crossed your arms. “Yes.” You tried to sound defiant, but it came out more like an airy noise.
“Suit yourself, then.” He rolled his eyes, making a show of getting comfortable on the couch. “It’ll be a long night for you, that’s for sure.”
Swaying, you leaned your back against one of the barely-standing walls, screwing your eyes shut. You occupied your thoughts with memories of home, trying desperately to ignore the pain. You were mostly successful, that was until you heard the sound of a canister being opened.
Curious, you opened your eyes back up, nearly falling to your knees when you saw him drinking from a circular canteen. You must’ve made some noise, because he was now smirking at you. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and you watched a droplet of precious water trail down his scarred chin, dripping onto his dusty clothes.
“See somethin’ you want, sweetheart?” He was unabashedly cocky with his tone.
You son of a bitch, you thought, glaring daggers into him.
“Now, now, no need to be like that,” he chuckled, taking another sip. “Just tell me what ya want.”
He wanted you to ask for it. He wanted you to be at his mercy. Groaning, you rest your head back against the wall. You don’t think you’ve ever hated anyone as much as you hated The Ghoul. Any humanity left in him had been stripped away, leaving behind a cruel excuse of a human. Despite that, you couldn’t deny the way your heart continued to patter in your chest as he stared at you expectantly, that cocky attitude doing things to you that would leave anyone who knew you horrified.
“I…” you tried to talk, but your voice proved to be too scratchy. Clearing your throat as best you could, you tried again, ignoring the way he looked at you like a predator would his prey. It was similar to the bear from earlier, but you’d take that now over the ghoul in front of you. “I need water.”
He tsked, crossing a leg over his lap. “And here I thought you Vaulties were raised with manners.”
It took everything in you to not just snap at him, but that would leave you without any water. “I need water, please,” you gritted out.
The Ghoul shook his head disapprovingly. “Shame,” you heard him mutter, before he was slowly pouring the water out onto the floor behind him.
Sheer panic tore through you, and if you were able to form tears, they would be in your eyes. “Wait, wait, wait,” you pleaded, your voice cracking and breaking, and you lunged forward. The click of a gun had your blood going cold, but he at least had the decency to stop pouring. You held your hands up, taking a few steps back.
Registering that you weren’t going to attack him, he lowered the gun, but he still kept it on his lap. If he had any eyebrows left, you’re sure one of them would be raised, waiting for you to continue.
“I’m- I’m sorry,” you stammered out, keeping your hands in the air. “I just… Can I please have some water? Please, I-I… I need it. I’m begging you… please.” You wondered if he could even make out your words.
You watched his eyes travel up and down your body, and he cocked his head. “Are you?” You made a confused noise, and he chuckled lowly. “Are you beggin’ me?”
One problem that you always had at the Vault is that you never knew when to shut your mouth, and what you said next certainly made it clear that you hadn’t learned yet. “You want me to get on my knees, then?” You had meant it sarcastically, and you immediately regretted it when his eyes went dark.
You heard the creak of the couch as he planted both feet on the ground, leaning forward until his elbows rested on his knees. His guns barely stayed in his lap, but he didn’t seem to care. “Now that you mention it… yeah.”
Humiliation warmed your cheeks, and you nearly let your pride stop you from sinking to the floor, but then you saw the way the canteen hung precariously in his hand. Damn it all. Taking a deep breath, you lowered yourself slowly, unable to look at the man, not wanting to see his victorious reaction. The sand shifted beneath your knees as you rested on them, but you could barely feel the relief your feet finally felt.
“Can-”
“Closer,” he cut you off gruffly. “And I want those eyes on me.” His voice had turned husky, and you realized he was enjoying this. Were… were you enjoying this too? You honestly couldn’t tell.
Wordlessly, you obeyed, shuffling forward until your knees bumped into his shoes. Your ears burned worse than they did out in the sun, and you wished it would just explode and incinerate you right now. “Eyes up, sweetheart,” he practically purred.
You took a moment to prepare yourself before you were looking at him through hooded eyes. The brim of his hat cast a shade over his face, and you could only see the hungry glint in his eyes matched with a predatory smirk. Oh, he was loving this, and you couldn’t help but squirm under his gaze, heat pooling in your belly that was quickly doused by shame.
“Can I please have some water? Please? I- I’m really thirsty and… just a bit. Please.”
His grin grew more as you begged, and you sagged with relief when he brought the canteen closer, no longer dangling over the back of the couch. “See, that ain’t so hard now, was it?”
“I’m sorry,” you found yourself apologizing, for what, you weren’t quite sure. You weren’t too upset about it, though, especially when he brought the canteen to your lips.
“Head back,” he ordered, and you did, your neck straining at the angle. You swore you heard him groan when you parted your lips, never breaking eye contact with him. The water was disgusting and acidic, but damn if it wasn’t the best thing you’d ever had the pleasure of drinking. He poured it into your mouth, and you desperately swallowed every single drop, the dryness in your mouth and throat instantly being quenched.
But it wasn’t enough, and you couldn’t help the disappointed noise you let out when he ceased the pouring. “More, please,” you found yourself whining, any remnants of shame tossed out the broken window you’d climbed into.
“Manners, Vaultie,” he growled.
“Thank you, thank you,” you repeated like a mantra, and The Ghoul let out a pleased hum. Thirstiness still clung to you like a second skin, but you felt better than you had moments ago. Some of your energy had returned, and you felt like you were no longer in the grasp of death.
“You want more?” He asked, and you immediately nodded.
“Please,” you whispered, and you saw something almost wicked pass over his features.
“Don’t worry,” you felt one of his gloved hands sneak around your back, collecting a handful of hair and tugging, forcing your head back even further. You cried out, a mix of shock and pain. “You’ll get more. Just keep that pretty mouth wide open, just like that.” His normal drawl had turned into an almost rasp, and you shuddered.
You watched as he took a swig for himself, but he didn’t swallow, keeping the water in his mouth. Confused, you closed your mouth, but as soon as you did you felt him pull hard at your hair. Obediently, you opened it back up, a shaky exhale leaving you.
If he had a nose, it would be currently pressed up against yours. He adjusted so that he was practically towering above you, and man did the angle kill your neck, but you didn’t dare complain. With increasingly widening eyes, you watched as he slotted his mouth above yours, not touching, but you could still feel the heat from his body.
You nearly flinched when you felt the water hit your mouth, fighting every instinct that told you to shut it. The act was filthy and degrading, but you’d be a liar if you said it wasn’t getting you incredibly aroused. Your Vault-Tec suit was becoming suffocating; it hadn’t even felt this bad when you were outside.
As he sat back on to the couch, his lips glistened in the dim light, stray remnants of water still coating them. As you held the water in your mouth, he frowned disapprovingly. “Do I gotta spell it out for ya?” He shifted forward again, grasping your face. “Swallow.”
When you did, he let go, tapping your cheek lightly. “Atta girl,” he cooed, and you sputtered, cheeks growing warm. Shifting where you sat, you tried and failed to relieve some of the tension in you. You thought you were subtle in your movements, but his sharpshooter gaze locked onto it immediately.
He laughed, a mix of surprise and condescension in one. “This gettin’ you turned on? Maybe you ain’t all that innocent, Vaultie.”
You eyed the half-hard tent in front of you. “I’m not the only one,” you grumbled out, and he laughed again.
“I ain’t the one on my knees, sweetheart.” Scoffing, you watched him lean back again. You expected him to say something, do something, but he simply watched you with anticipatorily. Something shifted in the atmosphere, and you realized he was putting the situation in your hands, wordlessly asking you how far you were willing to take this.
You needed this. You needed him, as bewildering as it was for you to admit to yourself.
Desire running deeper than that for water coursed through your veins, and you nodded. “More.” You both knew that you weren’t fully talking about the canteen in his hand.
“Good answer.” Before you could even register, he was gripping your face again. Fingers pressed into your cheeks harshly, opening your mouth back up. Taking another swig, you expected him to repeat what he’d done last time, but you were startled when you felt his lips on yours.
It was a strange kiss, his closed mouth against your open one, but it didn’t stay like that for long. His lips pulled apart, and without needing further prompting you swallowed another precious mouthful of water. You could feel that bastardly smirk against your mouth, and if you were anywhere near being able to create a coherent thought you would’ve said something.
But you didn’t, you couldn’t. It was like you were caught up in some haze, but you were sent out of it when you felt his tongue sweep into your mouth. You’d kissed a few people, sure, but never like this. It elicited a startled noise from you that had him pulling back an inch, and you had to fight yourself to not chase after his lips.
“Never had that before?” He chuckled, and he found your following silence an adequate enough answer. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m gonna fuckin’ ruin you.”
He didn’t even give you a moment to react before he was crashing his mouth back against yours. It was all tongue and teeth and it had you moaning, and you felt the grip on your face tighten. Your head spun, and you tried to keep up with his movements, but you ended up just letting him take over, moving his mouth against your however he’d like.
He nipped at your lower lip with his teeth, and your hands shot out, no longer able to just keep them idly in your lap. You found purchase on his thighs, the sinewy muscles tensing under your touch. But the grip on your face tightened more, almost incredibly painful. Your eyes shot open, alarmed, and a pained noise left you.
He had pulled away again, a string of saliva still connecting your mouths, but he was glaring down at you. “You better watch those hands.” Even though his voice was husky, the threat didn’t make you any less terrified.
You were confused, and you watched his eyes trail down to his lap where your hands were. Unable to move your head, you had to strain your own eyes to look down, and sheer dread washed over you when you saw his gun still in his lap, your hands a mere inch away from it.
“I- I wasn’t… I didn’t… ” you gasped breathlessly. “I didn’t know! I- I’m sorry! Please.” Out of all the times you’d begged and pleaded tonight, this time had to be the most genuine. Immediately retracting your hands back to your lap, you awaited his response tensely. What you failed to notice was the way his eyes darkened as you groveled, his pants growing tighter.
His gaze returned to your face, and out of the corner of your eye you watched as he moved the gun from his lap into his hand. You half expected him to point it at you next, but you let out a very audible sigh of relief when he set it on the couch beside him. It was completely out of your reach now, but he could still easily grab it.
He loosened the grip on your jaw, still holding it, but no longer digging into your flesh painfully. “I won’t stop you next time,” he growled, and it took you a second to register what he was saying: he won’t stop you next time because you’d be dead as soon as you began to reach for it.
You nodded as best you could. “Good,” he’d lost the threatening tone, but his voice was still gravely and raspy. “Now, where was I?” His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you sure they were swollen and shiny. “That’s right.”
Like nothing had happened, he returned to his ministrations, teeth grazing your bottom lip again. You hesitated when you set your hands back on his thighs, gaining more confidence when he didn’t stop you. In fact, he was actively encouraging your explorative touches, a pleased noise rumbling his chest as your fingers trailed up his thighs.
Another swipe of his tongue and a particularly harsh bite had you gripping onto him, barely able to find purchase on the thick material of his pants. You desperately needed air, but he held his grip on your jaw, seemingly unaffected by the issue you were having. Did ghouls need to breathe? It seemed like they didn’t, because he had yet to tear his mouth away for air once as he first kissed you.
As your hands reached his belt, it was then he finally tore away, a groan leaving him. Sucking in as much air as your lungs could handle, you ran your touch across the prominent bulge. You felt the hand on your jaw go lax, falling to his lap. “You gonna take care of that?” He was giving you another out, giving you an opportunity to stop you from doing something you could regret.
Rationally, you knew you should stop here, and pretend like this didn’t just happen. You knew the version of you from the Vault would do that. But this new part of you, exposed to the Wasteland and the savagery of the surface world found that you wanted to continue. Besides, you were probably going to end up getting killed in the next few days; why not have some new experiences before your time was up.
You didn’t respond, you simply began to undo the buckle of his belt. You couldn’t get the thing off of him, so it just rested open on his thighs. “Oh, you’re filthy,” he chuckled, spreading his legs even further apart while leaning back against the couch. “Go on, sweetheart. Let’s see what that mouth’s good for.”
This also wasn’t your first time in a situation like this. You’d only ever done it once, but you apparently weren't too terrible at it, as he frequently requested for a second time, but you always turned him down. You kinda wish you hadn’t now, wishing you had more experience now, but a part of you knew that this was about to be incredibly different from anything you would’ve experienced in the Vault.
With hands that you prayed weren’t incredibly shaky, you pulled down the zipper of his pants. He kept his eyes locked onto you the entire time, darkening even more as the unzipping noise hit his ears. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him, no matter how hard you wanted to. Something about his expression had you locked in, and you shifted again.
“Don’t let me stop ya,” he rested his arms along the backside of the couch, and you realized you’d just been sitting there. Steadying yourself, you slipped your hand into the confines of his pants, underneath the waistband of his briefs. You heard him let out a small hiss when your fingers brushed over his cock, and you desperately wanted to hear him make more noises like that.
It took a bit of maneuvering before he was free, head brushing against his navel. The skin was pocked like the rest of his body, which you were expecting. What you weren’t expecting was how long he was, much longer than your previous encounter.
Before you could let nerves disarm you, you moved closer to him. Bracing your hands back on his thighs, you kissed his tip, and you heard his hiss again. Sneaking your tongue out, you ran it up his length, pressing another kiss when you reached the top. “Don’t tease,” he growled, tangling his gloved fingers back into your hair.
When you took him into your mouth, he let out a noise that sounded like a laugh and a sigh, the grip on your hair growing painful. It didn’t deter you, rather it drove you wild, and you took as much of him as you could. When he hit the back of your throat, you had to stifle the urge to gag. Taking the rest of him in one of your hands, you began to bob your head, hollowing your cheeks.
You couldn’t see the way his eyes locked onto his cock leaving and entering your mouth, but you could hear the small grunts he made in tandem with the movement of your head. He kept his hips surprisingly still, but his fingers were somehow getting even tighter, as if all of his restraint was being poured into his grip, and it was on the verge of snapping. “You can take more.” It wasn’t a question, and you felt his press down on the back of your head when you had him fully in you.
Startled, you tried to make a noise, but the vibrations just went straight to his cock. He groaned, louder this time, and he didn't let up. “Relax,” he bit out, and you tried. You really did. Taking as deep a breath you could, you forced your muscles to relax, your hands going back to his thighs. Tears sprung to your eyes as you really tried not to gag, but a garbled sound still left you as he pushed himself further down your throat.
“Fuck,” he drawled out, “just like that.” It felt like five years had passed before your nose was finally pressed into his skin, his cock fully sheathed down your throat. Tears dripped onto his skin, but he didn’t seem to feel them. Your scalp stung as he lifted your head up, and you took in a shuddering breath, your lungs screaming for air.
You didn’t have a long reprieve before he was shoving you back down again, and even though the intrusion wasn’t new it still caused you to make an awful noise. It took him pulling you off again for you to realize what he was doing; he was fucking your mouth, using it for his own pleasure like you were just a toy. The realization had you moaning, the discomforts becoming an afterthought as he chased his pleasure, your own growing.
Your Vault-Tec suit was becoming unbearable arousal tightening in your core, and you snuck a hand down between your legs, trying to touch yourself through the thick material. It didn’t help, but you still tried anyway, desperate for any sort of relief. The Ghoul laughed, not letting up the way he moved your head. “Oh, sugar, is suckin’ my cock gettin’ you bothered?”
Your head spun, the new nickname and the crude words making you dizzy, and you let out what you hoped was a confirmatory sound. He only huffed in response, and you could tell that he was starting to get close to his release. His hips had started to buck, albeit slightly, and his groans had turned to unintelligible moans.
He cursed again, and you were barely able to glimpse his head roll back, hat hitting the ground. He didn’t care, continuing to fuck your face, and you desperately ground against your hand. “So good, fuck,” he panted, and you let your eyes flutter shut.
They shot open when you heard him moan your name, but you had little time to appreciate the way he said it. He pressed down hard on the back of your head, holding you there, your nose pressed flat against his body. A plethora of curses fell from his lips as he came, his cum spurting deep down your throat.
He let go, hands falling to his sides, and you removed yourself, coughing and gasping for air. Your cheeks were wet with tears, your jaw aching, but it was the best pain you’d ever felt. He stared at you with lustful eyes, a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
Holy shit. You were tired, but you wanted more. But you weren’t expecting him to do anything else tonight. This wasn’t a partnership; he’d gotten his release. You’d need to deal with it on your own.
So caught up in what you were expecting, you gasped when you felt his lips graze the corner of your mouth. His hand cradled your cheek, leather growing damp, and you felt his lips brush the tears that had fallen on the other cheek. You realized he was licking your tears away, and when he registered that you noticed he chuckled, muttering something about not wanting to waste water. You let out an airy chuckle in return, still not fully wrapping your head about what had and what is transpiring.
“Guess one good thing came from that mouth,” he teased, referencing his earlier threat. He tugged you up, and you stood with knees shaking like a fawn. You’re certain you looked like a mess but he either didn’t care or really enjoyed it.
You really had no idea what was going to happen next. You observed him with wide eyes, and you couldn’t help the bewildered look when you saw him stroking himself, still rock hard like he hadn’t just come. He chuckled when he saw what had caused you to react. “One good thing ‘bout bein’ a ghoul,” he rasped. “Stamina.”
His own raked down your body, honing in on the way your thighs pressed together, and they flicked back up to your own. “Take it off.”
You didn’t have to be told twice, the zipper on your suit quickly becoming undone. Even though the air was hot, it still felt nice against your hot skin. He didn’t blink as you undressed, eyes clocking in every new inch of exposed skin. Tugging it down your shoulders and off your arms, you let it fall to the ground, the material pooling at your ankles.
Left in only your bra and underwear, you kicked the Vault-Tec suit off your feet, and you stood there, unsure. “All of it,” he continued, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
As you reached for the clasp of your bra, you watched him lean forward slightly, eyes watching you like you were the most delicious meal he was about to devour. Tossing the garment beside you, you reached for the waistband of your underwear. He raised a hand, making your halt, your fingers barely looped under the band.
With two fingers, he gestured you forward, grinning when you complied easily. His hands batted away your own, and you felt he begin to peel it away himself. He was almost eye level with your navel, and you felt his breath caress your stomach. It was like he was unwrapping a present, the way he ripped it down your legs, and it fell around your ankles like the suit.
You were hardly able to kick it away before he pulled you onto his lap, your hands bracing against his still clothed chest. The couch made a very audible noise, on the virgo of collapsing, but neither of you seemed to hear it. One of your legs straddled his thigh, your bare center pressed against his pants, no doubt soaking the material.
“You’re wearing too much,” you found yourself commenting, and you felt him chuckle. He took his hands off your waist, holding them in front of you so you could clearly see him take off his gloves, tossing them by his gun. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, realizing that that was all you were getting from him.
You weren’t complaining, though, when his bare hands touched you for the first time. Along with the marred skin, his fingers were calloused, years and years of harsh life, fighting, and shooting making them so, but they were the best things you’d ever felt touch your soft skin.
He seemed to be having similar thoughts, humming appreciated as he felt your body, fingers dancing up your sides. Goosebumps erupted across your skin, and you sighed as he continued his exploration upwards. Worn hands cupped your breasts, fingers toying with your perked nipples, and you unconsciously pressed your chest forward. “Look at ya,” it felt like he was mostly talking to himself, “you ain’t gotta mark on your body.” You felt his mouth graze your breasts, lips ticking you as he spoke.
You jumped when his teeth made contact with the delicate skin of the top of your breasts, and he chuckled. Moving lower, he took one of your nipples between his lips, his hand making sure the other one was receiving the same attention. His tongue flicked, sucked, and the occasional nip had you crying out, jolts of pleasure shooting through your body. One of your hands settled on the back of his head, the other sneaking back between your legs.
With that surprising speed, he caught your wrist, not even tearing his mouth away from you. You let out a noise of complaint, and you could feel him grin. His hands left your breasts, settling back on your waist, and you felt him begin to rock you back and forth on his thigh. With every rock, your clit ground against the tensed muscle, and you let out small moans, small waves of pleasure crashed through your body.
When he felt you begin to move on your own, he let go, returning his touch to your breasts, playing and massaging them as you got off on his thigh. His mouth trailed up your body, leaving a trail of small kisses and ginger bites, your once smooth skin now slightly indented. Having been worked up for a while, you felt that you were growing close to release, his ministrations bringing you closer.
He was at your neck now, and he bit particularly hard at the thick tendon there. He laughed when he felt your hips begin to rock harder, and you felt his tongue smooth over the bitten skin. “I-” you tried to speak, but an airy whine from your throat cut you off. Your thighs were trembling, and you could feel the damp patch that had formed on his pants, but you couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed right now.
“You close, sugar?” Not trusting your voice, you nodded instead. “Fuck, yeah you are. C’mon, let me feel ya,” he groaned, mouthing at your neck.
It only took a few more rolls of your hips before you came, his name tumbling from your lips as a loud cry, pleasure igniting all your nerves. Your stubbed nails dug into the back of his head, and he growled. Your whole body was trembling as you rode out your high, only ceasing the movement of your hips when it became too overstimulating.
A shocked laugh left you, and you slumped forward. That seemed to be the last straw for the couch, the furniture collapsing beneath the two of you. It nearly caused to tumble off his lap, but you felt his hands secure under your thighs. He stood, holding you like you weighed nothing, and your legs instinctively wrapped around his body.
He eased you to the ground, the sand digging uncomfortably into your skin, causing your back to arch off the ground to avoid feeling it. You couldn’t help the gasp you let out when you watched him shrug off his jacket, tucking behind you wordlessly. These small glimpses of humanity you’d seen from the Ghoul, like when he saw the crib, or when he gave you a way lead you to believe that maybe he wasn’t as bad as you originally believed him to be.
Well, you still hated him, and you were still his captive, but you realized that he wasn’t a complete monster. It was moments like this, where those high walls he’d built to survive in the Wasteland began to crumble, and you could see glimpses of the man you assumed he once was.
He didn’t give you much time to reflect, though, because his lips were crashing against yours, and all thoughts disappeared. Your legs were still wrapped around his waist, and you could feel his cock pressed against your folds. He didn’t press in though, and you whined against his lips, moving your hips as best you could to try and get him to move. “Whatdya want, sweetheart?” He murmured, nestling his head in the crook of your neck.
“You,” you gasped out.
“I’m right here,” he chuckled a bit, and he still didn’t move.
Groaning, you ground against him again, trying to get him to just push himself into you. He groaned, yet he still didn’t move, his resolve stronger than you anticipated. “Fuck me, please,” you choked out, and you could see him smirk in satisfaction.
He didn’t respond, and you felt him press into you, sheathing into you with a single thrust. Similar noises of pleasure escaped both your mouths, and your fingers wove into the fabric of his shirt, desperately trying to find something to grip onto. He stretched you out so well, and you gasped when you felt his hips press against you. He was so deep inside of you, father than any other person you’d taken to bed, and it overwhelmed you in all the best ways.
“Sugar, you feel incredible.” You babbled something in response, and you hated how proud he looked. He didn’t give you time to adjust before he was setting a brutal pace, hips snapping against yours. The sound of skin on skin and your cries of his name filled the room, and you swore if you gripped any tighter on his shirt that it would rip.
Small puffs of air tickled your neck with every thrust, whispers of your name hidden in the gasps. Fingers dug into your waist, most likely going to leave marks in the morning, your once smooth skin littered with marks of him. You couldn't see what your body looked like right now, but you had a pretty damn good idea, and the picture you visualized in your mind had you clenching around him, causing him to falter, albeit it only for a second.
Despite the slight overstimulation you were feeling, you could feel another orgasm begin to form, slowly but surely. Letting go of his shirt, you grasped at his face, pulling back up for another breath-stealing kiss. You were so caught up in the way he continued to thrust into you and the way his mouth slotted against yours that you failed to notice the way one of his hands left your waist.
You broke the kiss with a startled yet pleased nosed when you felt his fingers begin to work at your clit, rubbing fervent circles into the sensitive nerves in time with the thrusts of his hips. “Cum on my cock, sweetheart. C’mon,” he groaned out, and your head hit the ground, barely softened by the jacket and the sand.
His name had turned into soft pants, unable to form a coherent thought as he relentlessly fucked you. The added stimulation brought you closer to the edge, and you tried to let him know you were getting close. “Go ‘head, lemme feel ya,” his accent had been cranked up to a hundred, and in any other situation you would’ve found that funny.
With a final cry of his name, you came again, your vision going white as you temporarily spaced out, the pleasure too overwhelming. When you came to, he had pulled out of you, leaving you empty and shivering. You watched as he stroked himself a few more times before he came all over your stomach.
It was only the sound of breathing in the room now, both of you just staring at each other as you calmed. Relaxing on his coat, you watched as he stood, tucking himself back into his pants as he did. Closing your eyes, you focused on your breathing, jumping when you felt a cloth on your stomach, wiping away his release from your skin.
He didn’t say anything, tossing the cloth to one of the corners of the room when he was done. He placed your clothing beside you, before sitting and resting against the collapsed remnants of the couch, head rolling back.
Groaning, you broke free from the post-orgasmic haze you were in, sitting upright. Both pleasure and pain still lingered in your muscles, making your movements sluggish and uncoordinated. Slipping on your undergarments, the dampened fabric of your underwear was incredibly uncomfortable, but you gritted your teeth and ignored it. After putting on your bra, you debated putting on the Vault-Tec suit, but the idea of putting it back on made our overheated body cry.
The Ghoul watched you as you redressed, thinly veiled desire and interest flicking in those eyes. You were now sitting upright on his jacket, and you got up onto your knees, freeing the garment and holding it in your arms. Scooting towards him, you held it out to him with shaking arms, almost like a peace offering. His eyes didn’t leave you as he took it, setting it beside him.
Before you could decide that it was a bad idea, you sat down next to him, shoulders brushing. If he was surprised, he did a good job of hiding. Exhaustion returned, and you felt your eyes begin to flutter close, head bobbing as you struggled to stay awake.
It was your turn to be surprised when you felt him pull your shoulder down, resting your head in his lap. You were even more surprised when he draped his jacket over your shoulders, the material thin enough to not overheat you. You glanced up at him with wide eyes, but he avoided your gaze, staring at the half-standing wall in front of him.
“Rest. We’re leavin’ at sunrise.” His voice was hoarse, back to that commanding tone from earlier.
Getting as comfortable as you could, you let your eyes shut, sleep beckoning you. You had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow, but as you felt his fingers comb delicately through your hair, you knew that he was no longer going to be following his original plan for you.
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GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader
[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]
Hey everyone,
I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasn’t done anything terribly wrong and isn’t going to be punished.
The comment about OL MCs wasn’t meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-
"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."
And most of the comments were about me. I’ve seen screenshots of the full conversations and they’re not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldn’t accept it. That’s not a lie, it’s what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. I’m the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. I’m not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.
I also don’t want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldn’t ever say it to a person seriously and directly.
I understand if you wouldn’t want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise it’s not a point of contention between me and Rose. I don’t feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and that’s why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.
Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.
This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I don’t want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I don’t want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.
Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. We’ll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!
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