#I wouldn’t need the watch and flashlight to hypnotize me I’d just look at her and be like yes whatever you say IS true you’re so right

[etchetceteraart]

doctor julia Hoffmann ma’am can I be a patient in your sanitarium

[buckyownsmylife]

fuckboy - chapter ii

The one where Chris only wanted to fuck you and you were alright with that.

Chris never promised anything more than what he had to offer: a release - and a good one at that. Recently widowed and new to Hollywood, you're eager to learn how to live the single life with the help of such a talented teacher. What happens when Chris is the one to start expecting more from the relationship than you are prepared to offer?

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

As the lights flashed all around me, I found myself once again realizing just how hard this being-famous thing truly was. I could barely see anything but the inch of red carpet immediately in front of me, and still I was expected to smile at the cameras like I had no concerns on my mind.

I looked around me to see if anyone else was as uncomfortable as I was, but only found beautiful women and handsome men posing like it was no big deal, like they’d been doing this for all their lives.

In some cases, I suppose it was the truth. Maybe I’d come to look like that with time.

Some abrupt movement had me looking over my shoulder to see Chris for the first time since that night. It’d been… a month, maybe? I wasn’t too sure. I tried not to think about it too much, mostly because although I was sure he didn’t mean the harsh words he’d said, they’d hurt me all the same.

But all of that disappeared from my mind when I noticed just how uncomfortable he looked under the harsh flashlights of the millions of cameras surrounding us. He was more cringing than smiling, his eyes seemingly unable to focus on anything, and his hands were curled into fists inside his pants’ pockets and his chest seemed to rise at an uncomfortable speed.

He was having a panic attack, I realized all of a sudden. And before I could acknowledge that my muscles were moving, I was already crossing the distance between us with a simple determination in my mind.

“Chris!” I greeted him, faking enthusiasm but making sure not to raise my voice higher than it was necessary for him to hear me. “How have you been?” He looked shocked to see me, but not as shocked as he was when I leaned over him, embracing his bigger body so I could whisper in his ear, “Just follow me.”

Keeping my hand on his elbow, I guided him through the masses of people stepping in and out of the red carpet towards the building where the ceremony would be held, counting on the fact that both of our publicists would leave us be until I found a relatively empty room to help him calm down. Thankfully, it didn’t take long.

“There you go,” I said as I helped him sit down on an empty sofa, trying not to stand too close so I wouldn’t suffocate him, but still close enough to check on how he looked. He had closed his eyes briefly, probably to try to focus on his breathing, but I felt my own breath disappear as his eyelashes fluttered open.

He looked as transfixed as I was, staring back at me.

Chris’ P.O.V.

“Would you look at that? You look like an angel.” It was the first thing I could think of, and so it was the first thing I found myself saying. And she really did. I watched her look down at her own body before she took in the fact that she was dressed in all-white, and then she met my eyes again and chuckled.

“I can see that you’re feeling better already.” And I was. Here, in this empty storage room with just the two of us, I felt like I could breathe again. I still wasn’t too sure how she realized that I needed to be swept away from the sea of photographers and interviewers out there, but I was glad that she did.

“Yeah,” I breathed out, still hypnotized by how great she looked in that outfit. I’d noticed she was pretty that other night, of course, but I hadn’t realized just how attractive she truly was. Pretty eyes, too. “I owe you one,” I added, licking my lips before opening a smile that seemed to blind her for a minute.

But just when I was about to make my move, the door was slammed open and my publicist and Scott appeared through it, clearly worried as they glanced in her direction before focusing back on me.

“What happened?” My brother asked, kneeling by my side as best as he could, considering the pants he was wearing. “Are you alright?” Despite the concern in his voice, I only had eyes for the girl who swiftly sneaked out of the room while I was left to calm down the people surrounding me.

“Yes, yes. I feel much better now. I just needed some time alone.” They seemed to understand, Scott nodding knowingly by my side as he put his hand on my shoulder, talking my ear off about something while we walked to our designated seats.

I wasn’t listening. My mind was completely focused on her and the way she looked on that dress. I wanted to see her again, but I couldn’t find her in the sea of people, all looking for their own places before the ceremony started.

I just wanted to see her once more in those clothes. Just so I could picture her without them.

I didn’t know why that white fabric was doing things to me. Maybe it was how innocent it made her look, and she was younger than me, after all. Perhaps there was a kink there to uncover.

It didn’t seem like I’d be able to do that with her, though. Despite catching a few glances of her during the ceremony, I didn’t manage to find her anywhere once the after-party started, and so my resolve was already cracking when I felt someone tugging on my suit.

“Fancy seeing you here.” I turned to the side to find Beatrice staring up at me with a sensuous smile I knew all too well. This was a game we played a thousand times before. She was my go-to whenever award season rolled around, and if I didn’t look for her, she’d come to find me, wherever I was.

I glanced towards the main entrance one last time before deciding it was useless, turning my entire body and attention towards the woman actually interested in me, instead. At least with her, I knew that I would get some release by the end of the night.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“You know, I don’t exactly consider this to be a relaxing environment,” I teased as Shawn pulled me towards the mass of people that seemed to move as a single body. He turned around to roll his eyes at me, but I could only giggle. He’d been nothing but nice to me ever since I moved to L.A., and joining him in this afterparty was the least I could do to show how grateful I was for his warm welcome.

I followed him towards the bar and grabbed a beer for myself before scooping my surroundings. I recognized most of the people here, if only because I knew of them through social media or their work. Still, a few faces were more familiar and friendly, and so I found myself smiling and waving to some people I’d talked to before until my eyes fell on a memorable velvet suit.

Chris was too busy lapping the inside of some actress’ mouth to be able to notice me, but after a few seconds of my not-so-secret ogling, he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes fell on mine.

Instinctively, I looked away, trying to locate Shawn in the crowd since he seemed to have stepped away from me without me noticing it, but then just as instinctively, my gaze found Chris again, and I flushed. The predatory smirk on his face didn’t help my embarrassment, either.

I tried to find something, someone, anything to occupy myself with while I couldn’t find Shawn. Luckily enough, Taylor seemed to see just how lost I was and waved me over, introducing me to some of her friends as she pointed me to a seat I could take.

I engaged in the girls’ conversation and lost track of time, both Shawn and Chris escaping from my mind in the talks about music, record deals, and disgusting men from labels. But then the girls decided to go dance and I declined to join them, opting to stay alone with my thoughts for a little bit as I tried to process this new reality I was living in. I still couldn’t believe this was my life now.

“Did you know Chris Evans is checking you out?” One of the girls, who had come back to get her phone, whispered in my ear as she leaned over the table. “Seriously, he can’t take his eyes off of you. I think it’s making his date jealous.”

And sure enough, as I looked over my shoulder, I found him staring at me, a serious look on his face I just couldn’t figure out. And so I opted to raise my glass to him, holding back a laugh when his eyes widened in surprise before I returned my attention to the table, looking for my own phone.

“Is this seat taken?” I was sincerely surprised when his voice interrupted my activity of scrolling down on Instagram, but then again, I guess it was only a matter of time until he finally found the guts to come over here and apologize. I mean, that had got to be the reason he’d been staring at me, right?

Chris’ P.O.V.

I licked my lips as I settled on the seat in front of her, immediately leaning over the table so she’d be able to hear me when I spoke. For all the fun I had at parties, even I had to admit that there were quite a lot of things about them that stressed me out - and loud music was a part of that list.

Still, the sight of her in that outfit made it all worth it. I knew she’d noticed my lingering stare, but there wasn’t much I could do - not with Beatrice waiting for me so we could go back to her place.

“Isn’t your date expecting you?” Y/N asked, waving at the woman I’d be sleeping with later tonight, and even though Bea reciprocated the gesture, even I could feel the waves of jealousy emanating from her.

Maybe it was time to cut the strings of our fling. Didn’t want her starting to see this as something more than what it really was.

That could wait until tomorrow, though. I was too far in now to pull back at the last second.

“I see you’ve found a way to deal with your anxiety.” The words were said so casually, I almost didn’t believe she’d uttered them. Except, when I looked up, I found her smiling knowingly at me, almost smirking, and then I was the one chuckling.

“I guess you could say that.” She shrugged, eyes falling to the beer she held between her hands as she pondered over what to say next. I was intrigued, attention completely on her, waiting for her to change the subject or keep going.

“That does seem to be the most pleasurable way to do that, doesn’t it?” Oh, shit. Now that I wasn’t expecting. Could it really be that this young, well-behaved widow had as much of a dirty mind as me?

“And here you had me, thinking you were the innocent type.” It was the truth. I could barely picture her in my bed. But as she choked on her drink, laughter flowing freely from her gorgeous lips once she was able to breathe again, an image of her on her hands and knees as I ravished her from behind slowly took shape in my mind.

“If you only knew the type of stuff I used to write about you.” That had me readjusting myself on the seat, not only so I could make sure I wouldn’t miss a single word out of her mouth, but also to make myself more comfortable, as my cock slowly began to harden.

“Oh really? You mean like fanfiction?” The only answer I got was an enthusiastic nod, the bottle of beer between her lips once more. I don’t remember ever envying an inanimate object before that moment. “Well, you’ve certainly picked my interest.”

I leaned back on the seat like I was preparing myself to hear whatever she had to share, but when she looked from my position to the woman still irritatingly fixated on the both of us, I knew I wouldn’t have the chance to.

“It seems like you have prior commitments to attend to. Wouldn’t want to stand in the way of you and your anxiety-relieving medicine.” I wheezed, still surprised at this side of her personality I was just uncovering. I’d expected her to be shyer, perhaps even judgmental of my sex life, but it was clear by now that it wasn’t the case at all.

“The night’s still young,” I still tried. “She can wait.” Her eyebrows rose up to her hairline as she scoffed, although she didn’t seem to think less of me for what I’d said.

“Now, what would your mother think of you if she heard you left a lady waiting like that? I expected more from you, Mr. Evans.” The use of my last name thrilled me to a degree I wasn’t expecting, and so there was nothing left for me to do than to bid her goodnight and go back to Beatrice’s place.

However, no amount of dirty sex could erase the improper thoughts I was having about a woman different than the one I was sleeping with, a woman who was so unlike anything I was used to finding in L.A. I wondered what type of stuff she was into. Was she really as kinky as she let on with her confession about writing fanfiction? I wanted to find out, that was certain.

And so it was with an indescribable pleasure that I found her on the app for hookups I’d often use when I was in this area. She truly was a breath of fresh air amidst hundreds of similar faces filled with botox and heavy makeup. I was excited to know more.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

May 4: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

(previous notes: Star Wars: The Last Jedi)

Source: UK 3D Blu-ray

I saw this at pretty much the very first available showing, and haven't watched it since. But since I had the other Disney-era ones in 3D, and I still have the capability to watch 3D movies at home, I decided to complete my Blu-ray collection by ordering the British 3D Blu-ray, like I'd done with The Last Jedi. So now I'm going to see it at home for the first time, in 3D for the first time, and take notes like I've been doing.

My reaction when I saw this on opening night was that it was a lot of fun. I didn't think it was as good as The Last Jedi. Overall it feels like a trilogy where the first priority was to avoid the mistakes of the prequels, and the second priority was to have them be fun movies. Mission accomplished, but the actual story of this trilogy is only marginally satisfying. But I left that opening night screening excited about all the neat things I'd witnessed. And now I shall press play and do some re-witnessing…

Emperor Palpatine, the opening crawl tells us. He wasn't someone we were expecting to be part of the plot of this movie, was it?

First scene after the opening shot is a slow-mo land battle, visually different from Star Wars movies in general. Dude kills 100% of everyone then plucks a mysterious relic from a mysterious relic. He's on a Tomb-raider-y treasure hunt.

It takes him to a Tomb Raider-y lair… and there are creatures in green liquid ahhh!

"…some consider to be… UNNATURAL", that line from Episode III. Very love it. Good reference.

The image of all those Star Destroyers is super super super cool.

And now after a calculated bit of lightness in the Millennium Falcon, the good guys arrive at a super neat looking planet thing. Not even ten minutes in and we've seen three inventive new planet environments.

And now a chase, "lightspeed skipping", and each skip is a cool space place, all different, one of them has a big monster! They are tuned into what's good about Star Wars movies, these Rise of Skywalker makers.

Also, Finn and Poe seem to have settled into their roles as funny supporting-character buddies. The first movie really seemed to be beginning a more dramatic arc for Finn, but it doesn't feel like that's happening any more.

0:15:36 - Rose Tico sighting! Her arc blunted as well. Be nice if she joined them on this mission they're about to leave on.

Really kind of surprising how much footage there is of Carrie Fisher, who died years before this came out.

Okay now we're back with Kylo Ren on this planet that's the equivalent of that orc-factory in Lord of the Rings. What's he doing? Collaborating with some ukky beings. Fixing his helmet. Hm.

Bit of humor in the conference room scene, again calculated.

Back to our heroes and they're on another neat new planet with color clouds & celebratory visuals, pleasant.

0:23:40 - Very cinematic Rey-Kylo cross-galaxy conversation, cool.

Lando saves them from stormtroopers, and is therefore given the honor of the "I've got a bad feeling about this" line.

0:28:00 Speeder chase in the desert, and the stormtrooper speeders launch them up and they fly! Cool!

Hah, there's a gag where Rey fires up her light saber and Poe tries to do that too but his is just a flashlight, cute.

Okay, here's this scene I like where there's a serpent monster in their Tomb Raider cave, and Ray figures out that the monster just needs to be force healed so she does it and it helps them. Sounds corny but I like it.

0:36:00 - we see the Ren gang on a plateau and here a new music theme. I'm not much noticing the new music themes in the Star Wars movies of the 2010s, but there's one.

This scene. The Kylo/Rey meeting in the desert. It was heavily teased in the trailer and it would have been more effective if we hadn't seen so much of it in the trailer. Also there's a who-can-magic-harder duel that ends up killing Chewy, except that we don't have to believe that very very long.

"Let's do that!" about wiping C-3POs memory, John Boyega's exceptional comic timing on display again.

0:45:40 - We're on this new planet now, which is so Poe can find the person that can do a memory wipe of 3-3PO, right? It's fast-paced, this movie.

"We sent out a call for help at the battle of Krait, nobody came" says Poe. Am I forgetting that drama from The Last Jedi? I know he's talking about that final battle from that movie, but I didn't remember a despairing "no one is coming", at least not like it was a huge, shocking letdown.

I like the little Babu creature but we don't get much of it, do we

Poe is all "did she do that to us" when he sees her Force-hypnotize the stormtroopers, haha

0:58:10 - Pretty unique shot, dollying backwards facing Poe & Finn shooting stormtroopers we can't see until they fall in front of the camera

"Your parents were no one… they CHOSE to be" here's where it starts to seem like this movie doesn't like where the last movie was going & made it be different. If this were an improv class the teacher would be like, "remember the principle of 'yes AND…'"

Okay, this bit coming up where General Hux saves them & says he's the spy. It's… funny? And dumb? Maybe? Sort of a tawdry end to this character in the trilogy maybe?

"You.. Are a Palpatine." Dun dun dunnnnnnn. Okay sure I guess. This isn't what I'm into Star Wars movies for; I wouldn't have had it be about this.

They get to the new planet and Rey figures out how to use the knife tool to find where to go, it's so like a Tomb Raider game that I feel like I'm reading a cheat guide on GameSpot

Now Finn is bonding with the girl on the planet who is also a stormtrooper deserter, makes that whole Finn subplot make more sense.

Rey swiped a cool watercraft to go to the wreck of the Death Star and I just want to point out once again that I like the vehicle design in Star Wars movies.

1:13:10 - overhead shot of said vehicle is the first notable example of something that looks good in 3D in this movie. I'm inclined to say you really shouldn't feel like you're missing out if you're seeing this in 2D.

She's in a vision cave on the wrecked Death Star. She fights HER OWN SELF for a second, and bad-Rey rawrs at her in a way that reminds me of when Bilbo does that in the first Lord of the Rings movie. I liked it there and I like it here.

1:18:05 - First bit of my beloved "Han Solo and the Princess" theme, so lovely

Now Rey and Kylo are saber dueling all over this wreck with waves everywhere and it reminds me of the big climactic duel in Episode III where it seems like the duelers are going out of their way to duel in a cool looking place.

Everything gets all dramatic in a way that doesn't really get explained - Leia very deliberately says "Ben", then dies, but it affects Kylo allowing Rey to kill him, but then she un-kills him with Force magic because "I did want to take your hand" and then bounces. And it's not over with this kind of thing, because Kylo has a not-really-real conversation with his played-by-OMG-Harrison-Ford father, and he symbolically hurls his awesome saber away. So where are we now? We're in some drama, that's where. I miss cool vehicles and inventive creature design!

1:27:45 - Modded-up Star Destroyer emerges from lightspeed and it's another cool 3D effect.

And then it blows up the planet where Poe's ex-girlfriend was and it looks cool, but we could have used her to be around more. Wait, does she not-be-dead later or something? Probably.

Okay, very corny sequence happening now, it's the pep talk between Rey and ghost-Luke, it ends with a smirking Luke raising up an X-wing like he couldn't do in Empire Strikes Back, so I guess that plot point is tidied up.

Okay, we got past that drama and now there's a very simple Saint-Crispin's-Day speech riling up the troops so they can go to that mystery planet for the final battle, and interest level has picked up.

1:41:28 - Hey a shot of Rey going through a wall gap is a reference to the earlier cool-in-3D shot of the watercraft & the Death Star wreck.

And here's something that internet assholes picked on - they ride horse-things on the Star Destroyers. Lighten up comrades, maybe this just isn't your kind of space adventure movie.

Rey gets in the mystery-edifice and holy hell it's creepy! There's an audience of thousands of cultists in black stone bleacher seats, chanting in perfect unison! It's downright Kubrick-y!

They really had fun with the lighting in the Palpatine room. Also, there are red stormtroopers on the Star Destroyers and aren't they pretty.

Palpatine is trying to convince Rey that she should embrace hatred and hill him and rule the galaxy in ritual hatred with a chanting congregation of hooded dipshits. Will it work? He does have a very compelling speaking voice. But here comes Kylo! He has had a change of heart or something!

"The life force in your bond," he narrates, and then bad-magics them super hard!  We never could have anticipated that evil force spells could thwart their plans.

1:54:20 - very satisfying shot of a giant fleet of good guys coming to save the day. They hit us with the idea of no one coming to save them, and just like when Han Solo swooped in in the first movie, it feels good that this time someone else did show up. And yes it includes Poe's girlfriend and that charismatic little varmint!

Super cool to see Star Destroyers get blown up.

Also cool when Palpatine super-zaps lots of good guy spaceships. Sound is neat on that also. This intense visual/aural experience is what I was thinking about for a while after first seeing this movie.

Rey beats Palpatine by having that surprise second light saber. Whatever, this is a super cool looking scene with all the bad guys in that chamber getting wasted.

Other cool battle climax imagery happens up in the sky, even though it's kind of hard to see what exactly physically happened to save Finn and those guys on the crashing Star Destroyer.

Kylo… what??? Didn't die when he just disappeared into a crevasse??? Quel surprise! He's super-reformed now and heals Rey up with his tender love for her. They kiss, their carnal desires overtaking them, they are high on the most ethical lust the galaxy has ever known! And he dies and disappears, but is visibly satisfied. I feel okay mocking this because I suspect no one likes it. And then it moves on to really cool aftermath visuals that are crazy fun to watch. They are experiencing the great victory in other planets from the other movies, and to the tune of John Williams themes from movies past.

Maz presents Chewy with a special medal, am I supposed to know what that's about? They're giving it major gravity.

So the movie, the trilogy, and the Skywalker Saga ends with a scene of Rey returning to Tatooine to bury the two important light sabers, but also whip out another one she had, and then tell a townie that she's named Rey SKYWALKER, and the final moment is of her gazing at the two suns with the Binary Sunset theme playing us out. What I like about that is that it sends the message that that moment from the original Star Wars, elevated to greatness largely by John Williams stirring theme, is the pinnacle of cinematic experiences that were brought to us by this series.

I like this movie less than any of the Disney-era movies for sure, and I think after watching it a second time, it lacks some specialness that could have allowed it to hold up better against the best Star Wars movies. But I wouldn't say it's bad, and I certainly wouldn't advise against seeing it.