#I would too if he destroyed my wedding cake tbh

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Reminder than Philip was not homophobic, he just really hated Alex in particular

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Luckiest thing (Drabble)

Warnings: none, except maybe shitty writing tbh Word count: 1,5k Summary: On the fourth of July you have a little surprise for your husbands family

Requested by my amazing @sirkekselord​:  Hello my wife. Because you never write my fucking things I ask you on Whatsapp... Here I am. Just give me some Jason fluff after what you have done to me. Making me cry twice. Him happy, having a wife and a happy family. Give me the family life. Domestic stuff. Batfam being the great batfam they should be! I am done. So done. Also I'm not gonna ask you on Whatsapp this and I won't look at the fandom list but will you make an exception and write for Eddie Brock? If you don't? Love you sunshine. ♥

A/N: Two things: first, I don’t live in America and have never celebrated fourth of july so this is all just how I imagine it, second: since Gotham is a rather special place, in my fanon lore for this fanfiction there is a city wide ban on all kind of firecrackers and rockets.

It was strange, really, how on almost every other day of the year, no matter if holiday or not, Gotham's villains couldn't give two ducks about if it was a good time to rob a bank or try to bomb an orphanage, but on the week surrounding the fourth of July, the crime rate just dropped. Every year.  So, with his family being busy most of the year and unable to remember the last time they all did something together, Bruce decided that it would be a good chance to have a little get-together at the manor. With that choice made, he notified the family and handed over the preparation to Alfred who relished in planning something other than a Gala or a ball or something that would happen again in less than a month. And he wasn't the only one who was more than happy about this possibility, no, when you answered Bruce's call and accepted his invitation you were over the moon. It would be the first time since the wedding that you and Jason would meet the majority of your husband's family in one spot and it was the perfect opportunity for a little surprise.

The few weeks between Bruce's call and the fourth of July passed in a flash and soon you stood in front of the kitchen island in the beautiful house in the outskirts of the city that Bruce had gifted you for your wedding, decorating the blue, red, white cupcakes with matching toppings and little edible stars on all of them except one, which just got a single, big, silver one. "We both know that Alfred will have more than enough food prepared, you're almost offending him when you bring something too," a husky, deep voice told you from behind you, sending a warm shiver down your spine. Along with the words were arms that found their way around your hips and pulled you against a broad, muscular chest. You sighed in content, comfortable as you could be against Jason. "I know, I know," you chuckled and smiled up at him, "But it's tradition to bring something along." Your husband playfully rolled your eyes before leaning down and kissing your forehead. "We should get going soon," you hummed and helped yourself out of Jason's arms, walking over to one of the shelf to get out a transport carrier for the cupcakes, making quick work as to place the inside, while Jason nodded and went into your bedroom to get his festive leatherjacket. When the sweets were stored, you walked over to a mirror in the hall, checking over your outfit. You were wearing a flowy, blue summer dress with red ballerinas and a small red bow in your hair. It was simple, but you felt really cute in it so you just nodded at your reflection and went back to get the carrier before going into the garage to fix it to Jason's motorcycle. "Are you sure we should take the Bike and not the car? I mean-" "Don't worry your pretty little head Jason," you threw him his helmet (a normal one) and started flexing you own, careful not to destroy your hair. Before he could protest again, you jumped onto the vehicle, patting the driver's seat in front of you. You could hear the small sigh that Jason made, but he obeyed and sat down, turning on the motor.

The garden of the manor (or rather the parts of the park-like surroundings that were close to one of the backdoors) looked astonishing. There was a table placed in the middle, decorated with a blue and white tablecloth and red plates and glasses (that Alfred must've extra bought for the occasion), on the trees that were near were little blue, red and white lampions, perfectly placed, along with little star fairy-lights, and on the side stood a rather pompous grill with Alfred standing behind it, wearing a 'The Grillfather' apron. The entire family was standing around in the area. Bruce and Dick were standing the closest, only a few feet away from the backdoor, chatting about something, Tim, Steph, Duke and Cass were sitting on garden chairs in the shadow of a tree and Damian was sitting on the grass, playing with Alfred the cat and Titus (or more like he was playing with Titus and Alfred was laying in the sun). When you and Jason came out in the garden, Alfred was first to notice and come to you. "Hello Master and Misses Todd," he said, winking at you slightly when you blushed at being called Misses Todd for one of the first times since the wedding by anyone besides Jay. "Hello, Alfie-" you pushed the carrier into Jason's arms and went to hug the man "-you really overdid yourself this time, it's beautiful." "Thank you very much," he smiled and you took your cupcakes out of Jason's arms again to give him a chance to hug his surrogate Grandfather. When they parted again, Jason gave you a small kiss on the cheek before going over to Dick and Bruce who were waving over to you. "What do you have here," Alfred said with a curious gaze directed to the box in your hands, prompting you to open it and show him the cupcakes with a smile. "I know you most likely have everything prepared already, but I couldn't help myself and bring something along." "Don't be silly darling," he laughed slightly and took the box out of your hands, "You can never cook enough when cooking for this family." You continued talking for a while before he turned to bring the cupcakes to another table beside the grill that was serving as a buffet and get back to the barbeque.

The noon turned into the evening and everything was going wonderful. For a while, you went around talking to everyone while Alfred and Damian were basically glued to your side, before Alfred called for dinner and everyone sat down at the table, Jason on your right and Damian on your left. The sun was already starting to set, the Lampions were turned on and much brighter than you'd expected when you remembered your little surprise. You poked Jason's thigh under the table to get his attention and he seemed to immediately understand what you meant, smiling at you with just a glimpse of excitement in your eyes. "I know we just ate Alfred's wonderful food, but I tried a little something new for my cupcakes and wondered if you would mind tasting them?" you asked and tilted your head slightly to the side while looking at the people around you and their unknowing faces. A choir of agreement answered you and you clapped into your hands, expectantly looking at your spouse who gave you a small 'Are-you-serious'-face before pushing his chair back to get the cupcakes and placing one in front of everyone.   "Why does father get the special one," Damian huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning at Bruce's cupcake that had the single big star on top of it. "Uhm...just because," you shrugged, aware of the thinness of that excuse. "Anyway, how about we all try on three yes? Okay," you averted the topic and continued the conversation. "One, two, three," Jason counted and on cue, everyone took a bite out of the little cakes, but your eyes were fixed on Bruce. At first, his face seemed to be very happy with the sweet and full taste, before it contorted in confusion. He pulled the cupcake away from his mouth and used his other to pull something out of it. "What the," he muttered, using his napkin to clean the object and reveal it to be a pacifier. For just a second his eyes were filled with complete confusion until they lit up with recognition. "Are you- Really-" he started and looked at you with almost tear-filled eyes attracting the attention of the others around him. "Yes," you nodded and felt tears also starting to fill your eyes, unconsciously setting your hand onto your stomach. "Whoa!"s and "What?"s filled the air until everyone understood what you and Bruce were talking about. "I'll be a grandfather," Bruce smiled proudly, running over to your side to pick you out of your chair and swirl you around. The rest of the night was filled with congratulations and people cluttering around you and Jason who soon started to slightly feel neglected with all the attention you were giving the people around you. At that moment you felt in the right place, you felt at peace and you knew, that almost running over Jason all these years ago, when you had first met him and almost immediately fell for him. was maybe the luckiest thing that could ever happen...

[chibinekochan]

The brothers bake a cake for you

Mc: Yeah, this will be perfectly fine, just as I expected from them. 

Lucifer: No, of course not, have you paid attention to any of us? 

(I had nothing good to say lol) Time for fluff to the max. 

Beelzebub

He found the recipe for your favorite cake

Beel is utterly tempted to eat the ingredients but he doesn't eat any of them. 

This cake is for you only! 

It smells great and looks great. 

A fool is someone who thinks he can only eat. 

He almost lost it several times. 

Beel gets so hungry, it almost caused an earthquake. 

This boy stands strong. 

It's a battle of his will and guts. 

He wins and he is really proud of himself. 

As he should be. 

Beel has the biggest smile when he gives you the cake. 

You think it's the sweetest thing you have ever seen. 

The cake is super tasty. 

Not only did he surprise you but he doesn't even ask for a slice. 

Beel is just really happy that you like it. 

He still looks at you like a sad puppy so you share anyways. 

Sharing is caring. 

He is so happy, you both are. 

Give him some headpats please. 

He worked really hard to make you happy

Mammon

He tries so hard. 

Super hard. 

He fights against the hungry Beel and against his brothers who somehow try to sabotage him. 

Mammon wants to make you happy. 

Screw them all!

Has failed 69 times but did he give up? 

NO! He does not! 

The great Mammon doesn't know how to give up

Beel got the failed attempts and didn't complain. 

Finally Mammon makes it. 

He is so happy and proud. 

Mammon can't wait and presents to you his accomplishment. 

If course it wasn't a big deal and it didn't take 54 hours to get to this point. 

Honestly just a cake he threw together, totally doesn't want to impress you. 

You feel blessed and you can understand the Mammon way so you know the truth. 

You are so happy to eat the cake. 

It's not perfect, a bit overcooked, a bit too sweet, but darn it, it's the best cake you've ever had! 

You smile so much and Mammon almost cries. 

He is so happy that his hard work has paid off. 

He doesn't even mind getting punished for destroying the kitchen. 

It was worth it. 

You feed him some cake when Lucifer isn't looking. 

He has done a great job. 

Lucifer 

He BAKING??? 

No one would ever believe it. 

This man in an apron? Unseen! 

He's not just ordering a chef to do it for him? Unheard of! 

Yet there he is in the kitchen. 

Nobody will live to tell the tale . 

He does worse than he expected. 

Lucifer has never done this before. 

He isn't even perfect. 

Has at least 3 attempts before producing a good cake. 

Lucifer will insist it only took one attempt, but we know. 

He has an air of arrogance when he comes to give you his cake. 

Lucifer doesn't just bake a cake. 

He bakes THE CAKE, the only true cake in all of history. 

Honestly the cake isn't perfect but you know he did his best and it's full of heart. 

You feel so happy that he even did this for you you could just cry. 

You better eat the whole cake while complimenting Lucifer the whole time. 

He will aspect at least one cake in return. 

It's the least after he worked for you. 

He is very proud of himself. 

You let him be since he honestly works hard for your sake. 

Get on your knees and praise him. 

Asmodeus

He doesn't like getting dirty like this. 

Well at least he looks great in an apron. 

Many selfies. 

He looks at the cakes that look the best. 

His cake will look the best if anything. 

Asmo goes blind after seeing the calories. 

It's for you so he will bear with it. 

He makes a big show of presenting the cake. 

It looks honestly great. 

Like a very beautiful wedding cake. 

It tastes fine but honestly it looks better than it tastes. 

You offer Asmo a piece but he only has the smallest size you can cut. 

He will casually try to give lots of it to other ppl. 

Asmo is on a diet, he does not need one.

You smile and you even kiss him on the cheek. 

This cake was a lot of effort but worth it. 

You are so happy so it's all good. 

Give him a hug. 

Maybe feed him some cake, but not too much. 

Satan

He bought a book just for this. 

Satan has practiced baking cake just in case a situation like this would ever come. 

He is very accurate with the measurements. 

A perfectly planned cake. 

Satan watches the cake in the oven. 

He decorates it with huge accuracy. 

Give him his own cake shop. 

His cake looks great and he is proud of it. 

Takes a lot of pictures. 

Satan is so happy when he gives it to you. 

You have never seen him smile this much before. 

You are so happy you kinda jump up and down a bit. 

He teases you a tiny bit while curtin the cake. 

It hurts to eat this beautiful cake but it tastes so good that you have to. 

Satan is super happy that you enjoy it so much. 

Seeing you this happy fills his heart with joy. 

He already has plans for more cake. 

Maybe other meals. 

Can't just have you living of cake after all. 

You should just cook with him tbh. 

He would feel really blessed if you return the favor. 

Also feed him and tell him how great he is. 

Leviathan 

He has found the recipe in an anime. 

It's not to make you happy or anything. 

He has done this before, but don't judge him! 

It's only because of anime and games not because he can express his creativity in this way. 

That's not it at all! 

This is also not because he likes you or anything! 

Wait, nobody is here to hear him right now. 

It's a very cute cake. 

He is happy but also worries too much. 

It's like his life suddenly depends on cake. 

He feels so stupid. 

Kinda second guesses himself. 

Almost didn't give you the cake. 

Your Levidar tingeled and you came out anyways. 

You look at him and the cake and you just smile. 

The cake looks so great you are happy just to see it. 

You wonder if he did it to enter some competition. 

This makes Levi really happy to hear. 

Actually he made it just for you. 

You are extremely happy. 

Seeing you smile like this, at his creation sends Levi over the moon. 

He is a very blessed Boi. 

When you cut the cake it hurts him just a little bit but then when you enjoy it, it was all worth it. 

100/10 will do it again. 

Pet his head, feed him, compliment him until he is a blushing mess and then do it a bit longer. 

Give him validation. 

Belphegor 

How did this even happen to him? 

Being here baking for his human? 

Well whatever… 

You better be happy about this. 

You better jump with joy and give him a big hug. 

That sounds very good to him. 

He decided on a simple recipe. 

Not because he is lazy, but Belphie just wants to make sure it tastes good. 

He knows his way around the kitchen. 

The cake comes out very nicely. 

Nothing fancy but good looking. 

Belphie is very proud of it. 

He is a tiny bit nervous when he gives it to you. 

You are really happy about it. 

You smile super bright and you want to eat it right away. 

Belphie calls you a glutton, while smiling like a fool. 

You are feeding him some cake, Belphie is pleased. 

He worked hard and it paid off. 

Don't forget his hug! 

He will do it again but only if he really wants to or if you make puppy eyes at him. 

Bake him something too. 

Feed him lots of cake, maybe let him tease you just a little. 

Tell him that you are glad he is here.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content

[sabinefm]

( bruna marquezine , cis female , peach ) welcome to aida&stefano , SABINA REUBE ! thank you for choosing to stay here. in this form it says that you go by the SHE / HER , you’re TWENTY THREE years old , you’re originally from SAN FRANCISCO , and you’ve been staying here for ONE YEAR . it also says you’re known to be + RESOURCEFUL , but also - SELFISH. that really shouldn’t be a problem though. check in at the front , hope you enjoy your stay ! (the click of heels, hot sand under your bare feet, chocolate covered strawberries, the imprints a bra leaves on your skin, red lipstick staining your fingertips )

ABOUT THE MUN.  i hope this email never finds you 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever in my life sdjkdskj this is especially true today, rip. no but honestly, i never thought i would actually get accepted into this beautiful rp so i stalled checking acceptances cause i’m a Scaredy Cat and that made me really late, and then i ended up taking the rest of my coworker’s shift cause she had to go and thus ended up coming home even later than i thought which has made me really really late... BUT against all the odds i’m here! and ready to party! and tell y’all about my bby sabina! but first a little bit about me, i am twenty four (ew), i can’t cook (rip), and i currently spend most of my lonely quarantine days either watching anime or scrolling through tiktok. i am canadian but every canadian that meets me thinks i’m american and i don’t know why. when i was a child i had an irrational (or yk very rational) fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl, and tbh it has never left me. i was also afraid of gill from kim possible so you can imagine my horror when that fish f*cking movie won an oscar?? when i was younger i also thot god looked like king triton from the little mermaid cause he was white and he had a beard yk. it fit in my little brain. and finally i just recently discovered girl in red and therefore feel like i finally got my bi girl card,,, feeling validated in this chillis tonight. and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about me idk what will. anyways, that’s officially enough about me onto who we’re all really here for, ms sabine!

BIO.  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding  tldr ; daughter of a guy who created a dating site + app, came to a&s after leaving her husband to be at the alter after catching him cheating with her mother, wants to be a bad bitch, sometimes succeeds. 

THEN.

sabina came into the world the child of a mediocre stay at home mom and a penniless entrepreneur so it goes without saying that she had very little. her dad had a lot of passion and a lot of drive but no one would really give him a chance, and her mother kind of only married the man because she was expecting him to make it big enough for her to never have to work another day in her life so? yeah she was hella disappointed tbh 

but not sabina! she looked up to her father so much as a child. while her mom was kind of ~emotionally unavailable~ her father was too, but like at least he had a dream he believed in, yk? he wanted to help people fall in love and sabine being the big romantic she was as a child had never heard of anything so noble. her daddy was her hero. sabina honestly had big daddy’s little girl vibes until she was like 22 tkjsdkjd

one day when their family credit card got rejected one too many times sabina’s mother called it quits on yk the whole mother gig. she left sabina on a bench outside of the grocery store while she went to go home and ‘get some cash’ which even at seven sabine knew was a damn lie cause they were too broke to have any damn cash. and yeah that was the last sabina heard of her for a long ass time. it was a reverse ‘dad went to get some cigarettes’ situation but just as traumatic honestly. 

although not as much for sabine’s dad. that man literally saw his wife leaving him as a minor setback and moved on. he threw himself harder into his work, to the point where sabine barely saw him. this was the start of sabine desperately trying to compete with her father’s business for even a sliver of his attention. this was a battle she usually lost. 

sabine raised herself for a while there, since her father yk remarried his job and her mother was following the jonas brother’s cross country. she became both very independent and very lonely for a child, which was an odd combination that both haunted sabine for pretty much the rest of her life after that point and lead her to make most of her worst decisions. but that’s a story for another time, because right when all hope was lost sabine’s father won the lottery. literally. 

all at once they were five million dollars richer. they went from nothing to everything real quick. and this marked a change in the reube’s lives in a way sabine couldn’t have even imagine at the time. 

sabine’s father hector used the money to fund his business and that shit blew up! he created a site by the name of loveisblind that was in the ring with the likes of match.com and christianmingle yk, one of those dating sites. everyone on loveisblind is set up on blind dates based on the information they fill out on their profile and are only allowed to see each other when they reach a certain point of emotional intimacy. the site had wild success rates, and got very popular, blah, blah, the point was the reubes? suddenly rich af!

and you think that would give hector more time to spend with his daughter right? no. it gave hector the money to hire nannies for his daughter. 

yes, somehow despite hector no longer having to work himself to the bone, sabine saw him even less. tragic really. she really became that lonely rich girl trope real quick, and this is what unfortunately got sabine into the habit of seeking the attention she wasn’t getting from her father in other men and women, which she is not proud of. 

that unfortunately didn’t fill the void that sabine had but you know what did? making the loveisblind app so her daddy would love her. basically around the time that tinder started gaining traction and getting popular, people stopped going on the loveisblind site and started instead turning to apps. her father was trying and failing to get into that market, and sabina, being yk, actually a lot more intelligent than her father ever gave her credit for, created the app for his site and pitched it to him over his lunch one day. it was honestly one of the first times sabina can remember her father really paying attention to her in the longest time. it was also the proudest she’s ever seen him. 

the app was a big success! a whole new generation was using it and finding love, including one ms sabine reube. in the early days of the app launch sabine met her prince charming, christopher ‘kit’ johannson. he swept her right off her feet, and she fell HARD, and when they debuted their relationship it wasn’t long until they kind of became the face of the app?? like sabine’s father was the creator after all, the fact that his daughter found love on the app too was big news for a while. people followed their relationship and strived for something like that for themselves. sabine didn’t know it at the time but they were basically a walking advertisement, and her father was LIVING for that.

fast forward a bit and your girl went to yale for computer engineering and business (did her daddy’s status and money ease the way? maybe man, nepotism am i right) whilst kit went to harvard, they were long distance for a bit before they graduated and kit very publicly proposed (the whole thing was well recorded too, gotta get that gram), and then both sab and kit moved in together and both started working for their families respective companies. it was around then that sabine started to understand just how much and how often kit was cheating on her. it was a real wakeup call. 

sabine ended up breaking down to her father about her suspicions, and he basically ended up telling her to suck it up and think of the business. the fact was sabine and kit, the face of their new generation and one of the first successful couples from the app getting married and living happily ever after was amazing for the company. and the two of them calling the whole thing off just because of a little infidelity just wasn’t going to cut it. 

now once again, this is where sabine’s deep desire to be loved and accepted really bites her in the ass. this was one of the first times sabine’s father had ever really asked her for anything so... she did it. or at least she did her best to do it. she lasted until the wedding day around the time where she caught kit and her own mother (who she only invited out of a deep rooted need to actually know the woman who gave birth to her again) going at it in the coat closet of their wedding venue. yeah, at that point sabine pretty much snapped, blacked out, smashed a whole wedding cake over kit’s head, and took their honeymoon to venice on her own. she arrived at Aida&Stefano with running mascara in a ruined wedding dress trying to ask about a honeymoon suite. it was a whole mess, but you know what so is sab so at least she was on brand. 

NOW.

after sabina arrived she spent about a week mourning her failed almost-marriage and yk, destroyed family before she decided to fuck it all and reinvent herself. she desperately wanted to become someone new, someone unrecognizable from who she was before, even if it was only on the inside. so she cut her hair (the first step to every transformation) hardened everything soft about herself and made the irrevocable decision to become a bad bitch. she (mostly) succeeded. kind of. 

sabine basically curb stomped out the soft, hopeless romantic people pleaser in her and decided to become someone more unsympathetic. someone who puts her own needs first instead of burning herself up to keep others warm (cause what good has that ever done her before?). someone who people would be afraid to hurt but who wouldn’t even feel pain anyways. and to sum it up that person is a heartless bitch. or at least she tries to be.

i’m gonna stop here because this is already a lot longer than i wanted it to be and i haven’t even got to the other sections yet rip but you get the point i feel

PERSONALITY.  *feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like too much* mmm not a fan of that either 

most of this is tbd because i’m still developing her but

VAIN. the kind of girl who will file her nails or check herself out in the mirror while you’re talking to her. will reapply her lipstick in the rearview mirror of her car while she’s driving. checks herself out in any reflective surface, i mean i would too if i looked like bruna but Still 

KIND. even though sab tries to be a hard ass she’s probably the most loyal, generous, kind person you would ever meet deep down. like she puts on this persona of being heartless, but if anyone needs her she will be there for them. kind of hates that she’s such a softie sometimes but she can’t help it. 

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. doesn’t want to be hurt again and will do pretty much anything to avoid that. tries to keep people at arms length especially romantically. loves making friends though, and will indeed spoil them. 

HEADCANNONS.  who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

has the vibes of that drunk rich aunt that’s always smoking like sexily as she looks far into the distance and wears like a super luxurious coat. will gossip with you. will buy you things your mom won’t. will cuss out your toxic father at the dinner table. that’s her energy.

unfortunately actually does smoke. i hate 

okay fun fact, the only reason sabine went to university for computer programming and business was because she felt her father wanted her to. she honestly has no real passion for the subject and just wanted to use her talent to make her father as proud of her as he was on the day she debuted that app to him. but now that making daddy proud isn’t like the only thing occupying her entire brain sabine like is like ??? wait what do i actually want to do with my life ??? and it took her a while to figure it out but after a while she fell back on one of her passions, art. she’s actually making a graphic novel aimed towards young adults about a modern day hades and persephone vibe, kind of about a girl who falls in love with the grim reaper and the lengths she goes to to chase after her (yes it is a Lady Reaper) into the depths of hell,,, it’s wild. she’s very proud of it but also kind of shy about it tbh. her go to critic is georgio, because she knows that little shit will be honest and yk what she respects that. 

but when it comes to making actual money your girl turns to cam work most of the time, because well. at the very least it’s quick, easy, and semi discreet. and sometimes she gets something out of it too. she figures it’s a win win, and she’s been doing it for about a year now, mostly because she absolutely refuses to use any of her father’s money. 

is allergic to cucumber. 

has a different 'relationship’ like every week or so, along with a few one night stands peppered in. unfortunately still attracted to people who are bad for her (kit for example was an asshole and a cheater and DEFINITELY conservative like she messed up on that one), but is also very afraid of falling in love again and letting herself get hurt, so she normally doesn’t let things last too long before she starts self sabotaging. 

if you ever catch sabine with like... her nails growing out or her nail polish chipped, something is wrong. like something is deeply wrong. sabine will have her nails done in the middle of the apocalypse, the only reason they would be less than perfect is if she is having a breakdown. always has colour on her nails, and usually it’s a shade of red, purple, or black. 

always has wild ass stories to tell about her tinder dates or one night stands and will tell them without shame for your entertainment. is a great storyteller honestly, a talent she got from her mother but she doesn’t want to admit that. 

fun fact, her mother mariah was PISSED when hector got rich AFTER she left him and tried for years to sue him or something but no dice. she was so angry and vengeful over the whole thing that she took the opportunity of being invited to her daughters wedding to get back at her husband where it hurt, his business. thus sleeping with kit. didn’t really think about how her daughter might feel about the whole thing because she was yk blinded by rage, but that’s just how mariah is so i mean,,, rip sabina. 

shops when she’s sad, or happy, or angry, or confused sdkjdsj will use any excuse to shop, and at this point she has more clothes than she knows what to do with. her style can be kind of out there at times, but she will let you borrow things though. 

she has a cat named momo. yes that is inspired by her being the peach skeleton. also has a parrot named poe i think. i also have the urge to give her a snake but... i will resist. so sabine wants a snake for sure 

her favourite colours are black and red

she is a horrible terrible driver. don’t drive with sabine unless you’re an adrenaline junkie or like want to die tbh 

her dad 100% set up the relationship between kit and sabine as a pr stunt, but sabine doesn’t know that yet and when she finds out her father used her like that ooh boy things are gonna get wildt. as it is now sabine just thinks she disappointed him and it’s kind of eating her alive. half the reason she’s staying here is because she doesn’t want to face him or yk her old life anymore. her father is so caught up in the shame she caused him that he hasn’t even tried to call her after the whole thing and the one time sabine got hella drunk and called him all he did was tell her what a disappointment she was and ask when she was coming back to work so we love ~parenting~

WANTED CONNECTIONS. girls will “🥺🥺🥺🥺” their way out of everything

close friends please and thanks, best friends also please, uh, can i get some awkward one night stands that avoid each other at all cost, can i get a neighbour who’s ear sabine is always talking off in the hallway between their rooms even tho they just want to go home but can’t because sabine is Oversharing, maybe a flirtationship, but also i would love an enemy (it could be for a ridiculous reason or a completely valid reason but either way please give it to me), someone she goes out dancing/partying with at piccolo, a sibling like relationship, a confidante, someone who she trusts to read her comic and maybe even do some linework, and absolutely anything else okay my brain is fried rn but i want it all! please like this and i will slip and slide into your dms <3

[astheravensighs]

gray!! water lily, hyacinth, anemone, sweet pea, sunflower with your dumb of ass husband prussia 🥺?? (asking a lot but im curious oop) (fawnships!)

omg fawn ilu ..... i am absolutely overjoyed 2 yell abt my dumb of ass man thank u so much 4 asking 💕 i definitely did rant a bit so um. I’ll put it under a readmore next time I’m @ my computer but i saw the notification and my brain went 📢🎉🎊🎤🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Water lily: did you or your f/o cry at the wedding?

LOL YEAH,,,, he has. a lot of feelings. and he has always been quick 2 tear up but. it wasn’t ugly crying (thank god) it was like. bliss crying?? if that makes sense?? like all his feelins didn’t know what 2 do so hes just. tears. so many of them. and YES he was the guy that sees the bride for the first time and has 2 cover his mouth bc he wants to SCREECH with love,,,,, and me ?? i was like. I’m not gonna cry not gonna do it i am not i am NOT- and i ALMOST lost it when he started cryin!!! but i barely made it 2 the vows and i was. just. donkey noises. thank god I’m not a mascara person fjdjh

Hyacinth: how do you celebrate your wedding anniversary?

Pru breaks some stereotypes in that he NEVER forgets an anniversary or important date tbh he would celebrate half birthdays,, so he is Timely and Punctual!! He doesn’t technically ~work~ anymore so he can do whatever he wants most days but!! on anniversary days he goes STUPID all out romantic!!! like !! all year he’s gathering favors from other nations n anyone he can network with and we end up in a 5 star hotel with 500$ steaks and a jacuzzi by the end of the night and I’m like. who’s paying for this. and he’s like. the queen of england owes me some favors. but we do make it a tradition 2 go to a candy store during the day!! why buys each other candy we might not like when we can just go 2 a big candy buffet and destroy our dental hygiene ourselves!!

Anemone: was your wedding small or extravagant? Were there many guests or just close friends?

ok hear me out on this: two ceremonies. one of them is the more private, official and legal wedding at the courthouse kinda thing with his friends (who swore 2 be on their best behavior for once) and mine (whom were mostly in charge of keeping the boys from doing dumb things). then. the party wedding. hell yeah. and speaking of calling in favors?? we rented out a WHOLE ren faire event. like. the whole venue. it’s right after the faire itself so it’s not a huge bother 2 the folks that make it happen!! we have SO many people there just a ridiculous amount. people i aint seen in YEARS. especially exes bc we’re petty lol. turkey legs and funnel cake and JOUSTING and prussia definitely tries to do the keg toss and almost DIES (his bro germany breaks the keg accidentally) everyone is in costume and the vendors are super discounted (dw they’re gettin some good pay for puttin up with us lol) and everyone addresses me n prussia as ‘your highness’ ☺️ (that actually happened last year n i about fainted)

sweet pea: did your wedding have a theme?

making it a ren faire definitely set a theme!!!! but some of them were.... less than consistent. there was definitely a master chief cosplayer and neither of us know who it was. which is fine!! but i don’t think he was invited lol. either way prussia probably spent an obscene amount of time/money on costumes for us both and made sure they were historically accurate and comfortable,,,,, everyone was welcome 2 dress up if they want but it’s not required, and it didn’t have 2 be strictly medieval either!! there were a lot of kilts. maybe too many. things were seen

Sunflower: were either of you stressed or worried before the ceremony?

The private one a little bit mostly because A. it’s so... idk. official. paperwork??? legally binding contracts??? I’m ok with it but if i misspell something will i get prison time or smth??? also slightly concerned his friends would show up in inflatable dinosaur costumes like they did for the bachelor party (prussia did end up wearing his godforsaken white tailcoat suit) djshsh but the party wedding was like. christmas morning excitement. the whole way there I’m just Vibrating,,, excited for the big ol ceremony in front of our friends and excited for the FOOD and the performances and have u heard of the musical blades?? they definitely sing for us and i LOVE THEM captain patch is my fave pirate man..... it’s just JOY and friends and food and fun and laughing and SO much smiling and goodness!!!!

ahhh thank u for letting me rant and ramble abt the dumbest cutest man........... sjdjdhj i am v thankful and blushy now thinkin abt it aaaaaaAA thank u thank u thank u ilu!!!!!!!!

[eight-twenty]

RE: A Twist of Eight.

Eight Things of the past 16 years (8x8)

I am eating all that’s left of my wedding cake. I don’t know how long cakes should last just as I don’t know how long a wedding ‘high’ should be—but I’m taking it all in. And here I am trying to overshare it all out in another episode of Eight things: Wedding edition.

1. To this day, I still think weddings are elaborate declarations of love by 20-something teenagers who happen to earn money. At least it was what it felt like when we planned out the whole thing. Do I think weddings are necessary? No. But did having a wedding celebration spark joy? Yes. Surprisingly, yes.

2. My belief in marriage still has not changed--i still don’t believe in it—at least in the way traditional society thinks it is. It is not the cherry on top of a relationship, nor is it a guarantee to love and forever. Putting so much emotional weight on marriages, is what I think, destroys it. I couldn’t put this in a more poetic sense--but hear me out: I dislike marriages because it takes out the sincerity of it all. I wouldn’t want to bind my “person” into staying with me because he is bound to me by whatever external force there is. As idealistic as it sounds, I would want him (or her) to stay with me because I am THE choice to make.

The Philippines needs a divorce law.

3. To be quite honest, I’m quite surprised at the thought of me getting married—in a church, in a white dress in front of people no less. But I’m also not surprised because I’ve always let myself get into things head on more than I allow myself to, and that I often turn out happier with things that didn’t go as far as my plans go; the universe willed it. 4. So, eight Years. Our wedding day was eight years in the making (and destroying and rebuilding); eight - a magic number, infinity as they say. It took remil and I eight years to finally REconnect and be officially in a RElationship. And it took that relationship eight years before we figured out pREmarital sex is bad and so we had to get married to please the church. Kidding. I just think saying that we simply loved each other too much is cheesier to say.

doesn’t matter had...

5. For eight years, the relationship has been less and less perfect. I RE-met him as we were entering the glorified 20s. As kids transitioning into adults we lost our younger selves, we were figuring out who we are. Like fire, it was damaging, but also beautiful and enlightening.

But I loved our love, I loved us—how it is just as flawed as human, yet as hopeful and young as we always are. We both know we deserved someone better, so we became the kind of better we thought what the other deserved || Better together.

and it was in this photo that Remil realized he was on fire.

6. Speaking of fire, the original element of inspiration for our wedding theme and basically the theme of our entire relationship (and we happened to be fire signs too??); Why fire? because fire has often been associated with destruction and often the element of antagonists.

But i would also like to show that fire has also always been about passion and desire, of adventure and creativity. And if controlled well, it brings life and light. It can be reckless but also beautiful--quite how or wedding celebration turned out. Including--MOST ESPECIALLY INCLUDING--the part where Remil’s tux accidentally got singed by a candle flame.

7. I loved everything about our wedding night because it was “us” in a sense that it was really Remil and I who panned it all out--the expense, the number of guests, the decorations, the suppliers. The speeches were all raw and all ‘us’—not the bride, not the groom; but of how Remil and Erika got to where they are now, of how far they have come, and of how much growing up they still have to do together.

(tbh, Remil did most of the leg work I was all just the aesthetic that I even procrastinated on--but it still turned out great)

8. Can we acknowledge how pretty I was despite the fact that I hate being a subject of photoshoots:

[thirstyfortom]

I was surprised somebody wanted to see this, tbh :p but I loooove DNCE, so why not?

RFA + Saeran quoting DNCE

Zen

The two of you were at a party. His colleagues told him it was just a little get together, but NO, it was a big crowded party

He didn’t want to stay if you weren’t feeling it, but you brushed it off, telling him it would be good for both of you doing some networking and why not? Having fun.

But Zen would rather have some different kind of fun, just the two of you… alone… at his place… you know.

But he didn’t want to be super obvious about it, and it looked like you were enjoying the small talk with some acquaintances, so he called you as he watched you from the bar. “Hello?”

“Side by side, walking home, stumbling home, getting curious: What’s on your mind?” “Right now? Huh… I’m wondering what you’re talking about…”

“Cause what’s on mine, a dirty mind, why so serious?” “I’m not serious, Zen, I’m just confused. What are you saying?”

“Babe, the stars above will light the way, just take my hand and hear the words I say…” “It sounds like you’re saying the lines from a musical” you giggle “Okay, I’m down for this, go on…”

“Come and roll with me, we’ll rock them body moves. Me and you, body moves.” “Oh… so you want to… dance, right?” “Coming home with me, oh babe, let it loose! Me and you… body moves.”

“Oh… I get it.” He chuckles imagining how flustered you are right now. “Zenny, if you needed  to go home so much, you could have just said…you…” “I don’t need it, but you know how bad I want it…” Shit, his voice is so sexy…

You start walking, looking around to find him, but he’s nowhere to be seen. It takes you to get outside to feel someone embracing you from behind. It’s Zen, burying his face in the nape of your neck and grinding against you lightly. You let a small gasp as you feel how bad he wants it. “What’s wrong, babe?” “N-nothing. Let’s just get out of here, you… gotta know that I’m feeling this…”

 Yoosung

It’s been the third night on a roll you stayed over, but went home before he could wake up.

You’re not doing it to be a jerk, is just… he looks so tired and so cute in his sleep you don’t want to wake him up, and you need to change your clothes because people are vicious and talk about stuff like that at your workplace.

And though he understands all this… he really wants you to stay for real, waking up by his side, having breakfast with him and then he can go to college and you can work feeling ready and refreshed in the morning.

 But boy blushes just to the thought of asking you, so he remembers that song you’ve been listening a lot and calls you: ”Baby, you don’t have to rush! You could leave a toothbrush at my place!” “Well, uhm… good morning, Yoosung!”

“We don’t need to keep it hush, you could leave a toothbrush at my place…” “Oh, is this because I said I was going to use yours? Don’t worry, honey, it was just a joke, this would be gross and…”

“When you’re standing there in your underwear and my t-shirt from the night before.” Oh… that escalated quickly… “Yoosung, are you okay?”

Of course he’s not! He’s read as a beet, but boy is determined to say at least all the bridge: “With your messed up hair and your feet still bare… would you mind closing the bedroom door?”

“Oh… is this about the last nights, honey? Please don’t be hurt, I just don’t to wake you up! And you know I have to work early in the morning, I can’t go there with the same clothes from the day before, people are mean and gossip a lot, you know? But I… really like spending the night with you…”

“I don’t want this to end and there’s no need to play pretend. If you stay with me again, would you mind closing the bedroom door?” “What do you mean by not wanting this to end? Yoosung, you’re…?”

“I… yes, MC, you could leave a toothbrush and all your belongings at my place… Would you mind… moving in with me?”

 Jaehee

 Okay, this woman is a completely different person now from who she used to be.

She smiles a lot more, hums her favorite songs while baking and even dances around her room.

Lately, there isn’t a single thing that can take this sunshine smile away from her face. Not even this chaotic rainy day after a night getting turnt with you at a bar.

You’ve texted her about getting a little late to the cafe due to the storm and she can feel your frustration even through some mindlessly typed words. So… why not calling you to bright up your spirit a little?

“Today is gonna be a good day! Don’t care what anybody else say!” “Jaehe? Hi! Yes, the trains still aren’t working, I don’t know when will I see you, I’m sorry… ugh… and this damn hangover… how are you, by the way?”

“Advil, good pill. Head pounds like the bass at the party bus.” “What? Yes, the bus isn’t working either! I just asked how were you doing? Are you feeling well?”

“I feel like a million bucks in a toilet, my head to my toes to my soul has been poisoned!” “Shit, that bad, huh? I’m so sorry if I made you drink too much…”

“Living proof that even when your whole life has been destroyed, you still can enjoy it!” “Oh… I… I’m not sure if you’re just being dramatic or getting all emotional again like last night…”

“Today it’s gonna be a good day! Don’t care what anybody else say!” “Yeah, you’ve already said that… wait! Jaehee, are you still drunk?”

“What? No, silly! I just remembered this song you sang at the karaoke last night…” “Oh, you remember? Ugh… so embarrassing!” she chuckles “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, not in a good day like this!” “How can you keep saying it’s a good day, Jaehee?” “Well, it’s always a good day for me ever since you came along…” NNNNG YOU GOTTA SEE HER EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU’LL HAVE TO PUSH THE TRAIN BY YOURSELF!

 Jumin

You’ve fallen sick. Nothing too alarming, just a small flu.

Not to him, he’s so concerned he keeps calling Jaehee to check on you every 30 minutes.

Of course he would check on you himself, but… unfortunately, he’s abroad for a business trip, which only adds more to his concerns.

And everytime he calls, he sounds so guilty and upset for not being there for you, and now you’re feeling guilty for getting sick and making him worry so much. Oh… he never wanted to make you feel bad.

 No, next time he calls, it will be to calm you down and make you feel good! Yes! What was that song from that group you like? Oh… “Hello?”

“Lady, do you feel okay? Is it hard to breathe? Hard to sleep? Getting weaker every day…” “Jezz honey, I already told you it’s just a flu, calm down.”

“Need something to ease the pain? You can count on me for a fee…” “What… what do you mean?” you chuckle nervously, knowing that when he starts with this sultry tone, there’s no going back.

“You’re gonna need a real good doctor…” Yes, he already came and prescript some vitamins.”

“Doctor Me…whenever you feel the fever burning hotter, call me…” “Jumin, I… okay, I really miss you…” seriously, there’s no going back!

“Yes, my princess, I’m going to make you feel better when I get home, but I suppose there’s a way to make you feel good for now…” this man… only him to make you feel sexy with a running nose and swollen eyes…

 Saeyoung

He’s worried because you seemed a little gloom the last few days

You told him is just a problem with your father and are already on it, but everytime he calls you, you seem even sadder.

It’s hurting him! Because it isn’t fair! Just now that his brother is stable and living a normal life? No more family drama! Family is supposed to be about support, happiness… just like the one he’s starting with you and Saeran.

And he knows all about the problem with your father, it’s always the same problem with him and his… cheating tendencies, and yet, there you go once again to cool things off between him and your mother.

You tell him how draining this is, and he feels bad for you thinking that this is your responsibility when it’s not. No, he needs to take you away from this mess just a little…

“Baby, put on your high heels, runnin’ shoes and let’s just run away!” “Saeyoung?” “Yeah, I got the plan to kill your blues and all it take sit’s just you and me!” “Blues? Why? I’m not sad…anyway, what are you up to?”

“I got a full tank lady and I’m ready to drive! I got a full tank baby, just look up at the sky!” “Ah yes… the stars always calm you down, right? Well, it won’t hurt if I try, I guess…”

“You said that you hated here, so why don’t we disappear? If you want to go the moon, I’ll take you there, baby, zoom!” “Oh… I thought we would be going there only in our wedding… anyway, I… don’t hate in here, Saeyoung, but… thanks.”

“Where you going? I’m going too!” “S-seriously? Will you come to my parents’ house and stay with me? Oh, I… I would be so happy! You have no idea!”

“Yes, don’ worry! I’m coming! Do you mind if I bring Saeran with me?” “Oh, not at all! I would love to have you both here! Thank you, honey!” he feels his heart fluttering from how much your tone has already changed from happiness “Nah, no need to thank me, what is family for, anyway?”

 Saeran

Okay, he loves you

But sometimes it annoys him as hell when you treat him like a baby! He’s your boyfriend, not your son!

Yes, he’s aware that his recovery is a journey and all, but he’s being pretty normal these days, having a normal relationship with you. But it’s not normal how you always refrain yourself from flirting with him because you’re worried he might not be ready for this.

Actually, what worries him is that you might be… scared of him. And this is something he wouldn’t be able to live with.

No, he can be a cool guy who you can have fun with. You know, just like the people in that weird music video you showed him with the giant cake at the beach! So he calls you

“Oh no! Seeing you walk around like it’s a funeral! Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold?” “What are you saying, Saeran? I… I’m confused…” “We’re just getting started, don’t you tiptoe!”

“Saeran, are you… okay? You’re not making much sense, and I… get worried when this happens, you know…”  “Talk to me, baby!”

“Talk to you? Hum, okay… what are you doing right now?” “I’ll keep on hoping we’ll eat cake by the ocean!” “Oh… that would… be fun! I would love to go to the beach with you one day!”

“God damn! See you licking frosting from your own hands! Want another taste, I’m begging ‘yes, maa’m’! I’m tired of all this candy in the dry land” he listens you clearing your throat, oh… are you getting flustered? Good.

“Yeah, I’m tired of dry land too. So, uhm… what exactly are you trying to tell me?” “Only if you tell me what you’re really thinking…” “Right now? Oh, I’m uhm… thinking of the beach thing, I… would really like to see you on shorts…and… nothing else…” he smirks: “Okay, let’s go to the beach then! I’ll wear shorts and you bring the cak… no, bring ice cream, it’s better!”

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.

Note: posting this again because the first time I did it wrong. Lmao! Sorry. Hope this time it’s ok.

Tagged by @flyingcatstiel - thank you darling!

1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting. 

I speak 4 languages, spanish, english, french and portuguese. Spanish and english I think I know them well especially the first one I hope!  Although I’m always learning more english every time I can because I tend to type whatever comes to my mind really fast and I’m full of typos (sorry). I’m still learning Portuguese, and I’m starting to forget French sadly, I can read it and listen to it and understand a little but speaking it is becoming hard.

2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show?

This is very very hard, I used to love them so much on the show! And now I found them so ... nothing..... so depressing. But well to answer the question I guess I like all the little moments from season 4 and five. Like them sitting on that park, having Cas confessing that he has doubts, the phone conversation on My Bloody Valentine when Cas appears at the morgue, Cas letting Dean know that an archangel is protecting Chuck, almost all the moments from “Free to be you and me”, the “Cas, personal space” moment, the fbi badge incident (the first time, the second was just lame writing to make Cas appear dumb). There are a lot! But from those two seasons mainly, I have a few faves from season 8 (the hug in purgatory of course), but it’s all tainted by how Dean treated the whole crazy!Cas debacle. Let’s say that after season 6 I became the bitter Cas fan that I am today. 

3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics?

Ohhh, I love rom coms! I only read aus so the rom com trope is on my top five. I love misunderstandings like in Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by  Sparseparsley. I love Au!angel Cas, gedry on LJ has a lot of them, they are old, buy sooo good, it’s a shame we don’t have more from her. And above all I love bamf!Cas give me give me give me! Example: The Team by palominopup.

4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one)

Mmm I don’t know. Maybe avocado? Don’t kill me! But I tried it so many times, and was like meh! Mango, I love though.

5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link]

I’m re reading old ones lately because I couldn’t find anything new to really enjoy. BUT, you rec Angel Cookies by noxsoulmate and it was such an amazing surprise! Everyone go read it, it was great! 

6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link] 

I love 99% of the fics by palominopup, she is amazing, I’m waiting for her to finish her last one to read something new, because I don’t read wips. 

In art I fell in love with Cas with Brilcrist work, sadly she deleted a lot of her spn stuff, but what you can find is amazing. But she is my favourite spn artist, although it’s not recent. 

7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind of SPN. Tell me why it will help. 

I will always recommend Brooklyn 99, it’s not new, and it’s a comedy, but it’s amazing imho. Out of the really new tv shows, not much to recommend, I watched a lot of pilots and it was all meh. I watch two realities that I always come back to, because it takes my mind out of things, Face Off, about fx and make up artists, zero drama and only work. And Project Runway, that yes, it has some drama, but I love Tim Gunn and the new season is amazing.

8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision)

Idk, and if I do watch it would only be the episodes when Cas is in, so I guess not a lot to watch there. I only watched spn for Cas tbh, I stopped watching mid season 6 when it all became too painful, after that I stopped watching for a few months again and then returned but only for the Cas’ eps. I hate the show. I hate what they did to Cas, what they did to deancas, and I hate how out of touch with reality the writers are. They are writing a two mains show, when 99% of the shows now on tv are ensemble casts. Above all things I hate the homophobic, misogynist, racist that is Robert Singer, and how his views translate into the show. Spn had the opportunity to be epic, now is just some show everyone complains about.

9. Cats or dogs?

I like both, but I’m a cat person forever and ever.

10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?

Cas in a motorcycle, being human or not, happy with who he is and putting himself first, riding into the sunset :D. But seriously though, Idk, the show surely destroyed Cas, I don’t know if there can be a happy ending for him at this point, sadly. But if something that I’m sure I want for Cas is to be at peace with his decisions and to find a place to love, and people to love him back. 

My questions, mmm let’s see...

1.What other shows you watch?

2.What is the most amazing place you’ve been to? It doesn’t have to be somewhere exotic, but a place you felt happy to be at.

3.Do you think deancas still have a chance to be together? Or the ship is already dead, killed by the writers and producers (and you know the actor that says it doesn’t exist? (skip this one if you don’t care one way or another)

4.Please recommend me some books? Fanfiction has taking my life, I need to read other stuff too.

5.Pet peeves?

6.What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of?

7.If you could have a soundtrack for your life, what songs would be on it?

8.Where do you think spn stands now? Is still a good show? It entertains you? Or gets you more mad than happy?

9.If you can have a superhero power what would you choose? Why?

10.What movie/tv show did you think was going to be amazing but turned out to be horrible?

Tagging a few people, @zeeimpalaangel @lldyj @bitemyholyass @haven3333 and Idk if you guys want to answer anything about spn but I’m tagging you because curious! if you do @goldmetalvictor and @deathtwonormalcy

[kiishou]

All the emojis

all of them???? ok here we go

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

anyone who knows me knows that I’m not very secretive. Something I think I rarely tell anyone is that my first kiss was taken from me by a girl

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

I’m not very fond of hugs, but I would love to hug Rod, Zach, Robert, and Ana KappaPride

plus i wouldn’t mind hugging the woman i would go lesbian for aka emilia clarke hot damn k bye 

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

Sylveon is my all time favorite but I also have a lot in my heart. I think it changes from game to game tbh 

I love sylveon because i think i would be sylveon if i were a pokemon and i would be hella cute and strong and would be able to crush my enemies with sparkles

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

I think It would be a lot less of cities and more natural areas, I would like to come up with a plan for different countries and peace

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

Oh my. I get these so often but the most recent one was about me being a skilled assassin and I was on a job to kill someone and it was such a difficult situation and at the same time I was being hunted to be killed so I ended up having to kill two people and I woke up walking into the room where my boss was

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

I have more than one but I’m only going to focus on ana right now:

I like how much she’s let me in? Like, she’s naturally really shy and doesn’t talk very much but over the years she’s really talkative and funny with me. We also do stupid shit together which i love. She LOVES papitas as much as I do and we literally buy an entire bag of chips for each of us like every 3 days LOL. I just think she’s a beautiful person inside and out. Sometimes, things aren’t perfect but we seem to tough it out and stick around. I would honestly die for her and if anyone every hurts her I will end their life. I like too many different things about her to just pick one sorry

😘 talk about your crush or partner

He is someone who has been through a lot of things he does not deserve in his life. Most of the time I don’t think he even deserves to have someone like me around because I’m more than a handful. He’s very smart and studying to be an engineer because he loves tinkering with things and inventing things. He would be a pilot if he wasn’t colorblind. He’s very handsome with his hair cut but he tries to grow it out cause eh thinks it’ll look cool but it does not (oops) I only wish for his happiness and cherish all the time he spends with me and my weird ass. He’s probably one of the only two people who love fueling my Target obbsession

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

It honestly depends on the situation and how upset I was in that instant: example, online trolls on my stream/in games i just bully back or perma ban but irl it would take something really offensive for me to say something

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

1. how I think I’m cute sometimes

2. how much I care for my friends

3. how hardworking I am but no one really ever gets to see it

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

I think I am scared of imperfection. I honestly don’t know how to overcome it other than accepting that things aren’t always going to be perfect.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

A blanket fresh from the dryer

💙 what annoys you about some people?

People who lie and thick they’re so slick about it smh

😤 do you get angry easily?

Absolutely not

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

how cute i would look with these boots that I can’t afford (i’m a size 5.5)

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

1. The entirety of America

2. Donald Trump

3. The current presidency

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

there was no names sent? u.u

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

I would love to live literally anywhere in England because I love rainy weather

☕️ talk about your ideal day

an ideal day would be waking up early, eating a good breakfast, playing some games ( and ACTUALLY WINNING LOL) and have a successful and fun stream, then watch anime/movies until I sleep

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

I think I’m an introvert

💧 when was the last time you cried?

½/2017

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

1.  Lovewave - 그 밤

2. There You Are - Pogo

3. Love Never Felt So Good - Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake

4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qemb3iBlp1o

5. Deja Vu -Post Malone ft. Justin Bieber

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

I would love to time travel and be able to change things that weren’t right the first time

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

I would tell her so many things. I would probably write her a book and everything I want to tell her.

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

I’m not one to really be jealous but I do get envious of different things/people. I’m just a brat who get upset over things I don’t have

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

Bravery. I always tell myself to be brave and act like I am but I never am 

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my entire being 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

I know English, Spanish, German, and  some Japanese. I want to properly learn Japanese, Korean, and Arabic tho

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

I think I would be Newt Scamander’s best friend 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

i honestly don’t know how to answer this one

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

who knows? none probably

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

I would want to be a fox

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

I really dislike how backwards my sleeping schedule is right now. I can’t even wake up remotely early and it makes me extremely grumpy and I can’t even fall asleep so I’m somehow surviving on like 3-4 hours a night and I am exhausted

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

no thanks

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

I wanted to be an Astronaut when I was a child, then I wanted to be a musician because it was more realistic. Now? I just want to be an Illustrator/Animator

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

i fucking love cookies, ice cream, sour punch straws, and gummy worms but by far wedding cake is my favorite thing in the world catch me crashing weddings just for the cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

star wars, pillows/blankets, collecting figures and other cute collectibles, these boots, wanting to be perfect, happiness, themed shit, skins in video games

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

i’m cry

😪 what are you sick of?

i’m sick of my dumb ass

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

NO i get too many panic attacks which involves a lot of adrenaline so no thanks bye

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

I already tried to answer this

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

As much as I want to say yes, I think I’m not and need a lot of improvement

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

play video games, go to target for no reason, stream, talk to friends, go out to eat at taco bell and destroy my stomach, sleep, watch movies

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

who knows tbh I think it was Misguided Ghosts - Paramore

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

oh god pls don’t ask me this

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

self portraits or things on how i’m feeling

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

the American society standards 

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

my what? what did you call me????//

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

you didn’t send me anything hullo

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

Emilia Clarke bye

🐴 opinion on __?

yes

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

I think so but sometimes i’m unemotional it’s very complicated

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

I don’t read often but I love The Harry Potter Series, Saving Max, and The Martian. I’m currently reading the Rogue One novel and I love it so much 

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

sometimes I stream or I just play games to feel better or I talk to my friends who I love cause they make me so happy and fuel me with support 

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

“something will always work out” “tomorrow is another day”

🌍 which country do you live in?

United States of America tragic

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

1. sleepy

2. exhausted

3. smol

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“be brave” “trust goes both ways” “fuck you I was worth it”

💭 do you keep a diary?

I used to but I couldn’t keep up with it

💫 who inspires you?

kellye, pam, yams, ana, zach, rod, robert, and literally anyone i love alot 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

who knows man just keep your nasty ass Ouija boards away from me I don’t wanna deal with it

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

who knows cause I can’t afford my fashion taste

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

Inception, Starwars, The Martian, The Book of Life, Moana, HP, idk i like movies a lot 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

a memory that has always stayed with me very vividly was when i almost chopped off my finger however I wouldn’t call it a treasured memory

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

Emilia Clarke HUULLLLLLOOOOOO

[gatorfruit-moved]

for the send numbers ask... i literally wanna know everything about you. just do all the ones you're ok with doing 💜

scghumaeca oh my god

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I honestly have no idea, probably Mack

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Outgoing but anxious lmao

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Probably Denny, I haven’t seen him for awhile and I think he’s going to be at our environmental conference. I need to talk to him about internships.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I guess, I’m kinda cold outwardly sometimes and bad at conversations

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably yeah, I’d get yelled at though

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I usually like bigger guys but I think that’s the dyspohria talking. With girls I tend to like short sweet girls.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

God probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A girl I like

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda??? I make dirty jokes but sometimes I get super dysphoric cuz my bottom dysphoria is BAD

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack last night, sad shit oof

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Will you both be home at normal times?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Oof I don’t really keep favorite songs lmao. I like Hurt, Splash Mountain, (Fuck A) Silver Lining, This Is Home, and I Am Shit

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God yeah

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Not really

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Last summer I became friends with the boys lmao

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I haven’t kissed anyone

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Of course, it’s unrealistic for there to be nothing

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No, I haven’t seen him for like 6 years

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Eh, I’m not a fan of baths in general

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know my new ones but my old ones were the worst

21. What are you bad habits?

Over and undereating, biting nails, drinking too much caffeine, self deprecation, there’s a lot

22. Where would you like to travel?

The Netherlands, Mexico, basically everywhere

23. Do you have trust issues?

Oh god yeah I do

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Seeing the dove in the morning I guess

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Hips, chest, groin basically

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Lie there for awhile and scroll through tumblr

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Darker tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Mack

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I don’t have any ex’s

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Hell yeah, I wanna get married so bad

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

For a lil tiny one lmao, I need a haircut

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

gchueirmqo idk, I don’t get celebrity crushes

33. Spell your name with your chin.

I am on my laptop rip. Zscxott paeris aretghur kajhor. Hey pretty close.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I’m in marching band, I’m joining a men’s roller derby team, I would play hockey if I could, I might be joining wrestling but I’m afraid of getting shit from people

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I mean music is in tv shows??? I listen to more music than I do watch tv but there’s the stories I get invested in on tv. But I also play music. I have no clue.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Uh, yeah. ofc

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Wow, riveting.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

I don’t really have one??? Idk I like people who make me feel safe cuz I never do.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I like some of the newer GAP clothes, Market District is a good hangout place

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go to Harvard and major in Biology.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Usually but one person did fuck me over that I don’t fuck with anymore

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Probably pissed off

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Not often, I zone out easily

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, the ocean kinda freaks me out

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Mostly just Mack

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything in the world

47. Have you ever been high?

No I’ve smoked like twice and it just gave me anxiety

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Another no, I don’t like the taste of alcohol but I had like half a mike’s

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Eh, not really

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black and white

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, often

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wanna be cis dude

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I don’t wear makeup but Lush has nice foundation

54. Favourite store?

No idea, Market District and GAP like the other question but it’s really not a thing for me

55. Favourite blog?

Oh lord idk

56. Favourite colour?

Violet, rust red

57. Favourite food?

Wedding soup

58. Last thing you ate?

I just ate a bunch of walnuts

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Uh, lunch, spicy chicken strips

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I’ve won a ton of academic ones because I’m super competitive. There’s a band one I won, there’s hockey intramurals I destroyed in, pickleball during gym too.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I haven’t even had a detention

62. Been arrested? For what?

No but I’ve gotten yelled at by cops for no reason

63. Ever been in love?

I don’t really know. Platonically yeah

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Haven’t had one

65. Are you hungry right now?

No, I just ate

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t really talk to anyone on tumblr

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Yeah, King of the Hill

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Mack

71. Craving something? What?

Mmmmmmmmmm t. And steak.

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue, tan, white, they’re all covered in hair dye too

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Like three full sized ones, a few smaller ones

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

A ton

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

^^^

75. Favourite animal?

Hyena

76. What colour is your underwear?

The ones I’m wearing rn are greeeeen

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cookie dough or cake batter. Any sorta baked good flavors

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black, it’s my annie cast shirt

80. What colour pants?

I’m not wearing pants

81. Favourite tv show?

King of the Hill and almost any old cartoon.

82. Favourite movie?

COCO BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Either Regina or Gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Any of the sharks probably, I haven’t seen the movie for awhile

87. First person you talked to today?

Ms. Meyer

88. Last person you talked to today?

Dustin I think

89. Name a person you hate?

Alexa

90. Name a person you love?

Platonically, Mack

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

MMMMMMMM ALEXA

92. In a fight with someone?

Yeah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Like two pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Six or seven I think

95. Last movie you watched?

Infinity War

96. Favourite actress?

I don’t really keep track of actors/actresses, probably Meryl Streep

97. Favourite actor?

Tom Holland cuz fuck man he didn’t have to kill me but he did

98. Do you tan a lot?

Not like going out to tan but whenever I’m in the sun, which is often, I tan really easily

99. Have any pets?

Yeah four dogs and a uromastyx

100. How are you feeling?

Eh, ok. I lost my voice so it’s deeper than usual which is nice.

101. Do you type fast?

I guess? I just took a test and I’m 67 WPM.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yeah a lot

103. Can you spell well?

Not out loud. I tend to skip some words since I’m better at math than language arts, I’ve got a numerical and art brain

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Opa, Cadmium, friends from shows

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah I host one every year

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Uh I highly fucking doubt it

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yeah it was fun, I miss it

108. What should you be doing?

Probably working on my finals

109. Is something irritating you right now?

My mom

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Oof yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

Yeah really bad

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Probably Mack

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Boogie, pietje, there’s a lot

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah I’m from PA.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not often

116. Are you listening to music right now?

No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Hell yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Another hell yeah

119. Favourite book?

I really like When the Moon Was Ours but I’m not done with it yet, I haven’t gotten many chances to read it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Not at all

121. Are you mean?

I mean jokingly yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Oh god no, I’m a dirty nature boy

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

125. Do you believe in true love?

Honestly I have no idea

126. Are you currently bored?

Kinda, it’s the depression lmao

127. What makes you happy?

Animals, people I get along with, tea

128. Would you change your name?

Legally yeah lmao

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aquarius sun, sagittarius moon, gemini rising, aquarius venus, aries mars, and capricorn mercury.

130. Do you like subway?

Yeah, meatball subs boi

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Idk honestly

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it.”

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk man, I don’t usually tell lies and when I do I honestly forget about them

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

A little over 5’6”

138. Curly or Straight hair?

I’ve got wavy hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Dirty blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

September or October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Not at all

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

I felt accepted by some people I usually don’t, but there was some other stressful shit so it’s kind of a neutral day

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool” - Katya Zamolodchikova

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Eh, idk. I’m not a huge believer in the supernatural.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“It must make you sad,” Lian said, in a way that wasn’t warm enough to sound kind or sharp enough to sounds mean. “What happened with your mother

I included the whole paragraph cuz continuity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks, this was a fucking adventure

[letterstopoldark-blog]

Pilot (Part I)

Dear Poldark,

Hi. I’m here. Why? Well, I love historical fiction. I love the 18th century. I needed something to fill my Droughtlander. Supposedly, you’re going to fill this void in all of your tri-cornered hat glory. I am promised love, scandal, 18th century England, and objectification of the male physique. I mean, okay. I’ll try anything at least once. 

Enter a you, tall, dark and handsome (or should I say, pol, dark and handsome? heh... sorry,) scoundrel wearing a red coat. Despite the fact I am American and literally every piece of American propaganda since I was born has told me to find red coats and tri-corner hats distasteful, I somehow don’t hate you in the first few scenes in which I see you. You seem apathetic to the war around you, gambling a few coins away and laughing like you’re in some 18th century frat and not, oh, the American Revolution. You actually seem a bit spoiled, tbh. Joking about breaking the law and going to war to escape the gallows. LOL, good times. 

I am very close to being not that into you when I see a flash of honor on your part, questioning your Commander and whether they were defending liberty or tyranny in the backwoods of New England. Ah, so Ross Poldark is a philosopher, eh? 

We never did get to hear the Commander’s answer, because, well, war.

Suddenly, we think you might be dead except we know you’re not because why would they name a show after a dead guy? Okay, I guess they did that with Cukoo, but I’m watching the “real" BBC-in-collab-with-PBS, not BBC 3-in-collab-with-Netflix. I expect the best here. 

Cue mysterious flashback of a pretty, giggly woman on some bucolic coast somewhere, and then there’s that sweet, rustic violin music and some vast, pretty skies and a rugged English shoreline, nearly as rugged as your 5 o’clock shadow and okay, I’m in. Because I am always in when a show has good intro music.

Come to find out, two years later, you, Mr. Pol, Dark and Handsome are returning home to a dead father and gossiping neighbors and … at least you might still have that girl we saw in the flashback, right? Because, I mean...

Wait, sorry, forgot what I was saying. I became too distracted by your cape. I do love a man in a cape.

How pleasant that you arrive home and promptly crash a family dinner party! What a joyous homecoming. Perhaps you can all play a rousing game of Monopoly afterwards while wearing matching sweaters. Side note, I love the woman in the frilly cap. She has only said one or two lines but I will already tell you that she is what I aspire to be when I grow up. Also, doesn’t she look familiar? Anyways, fun fact, I once bought a colonial-style hat that looked exactly like the one she’s wearing in a gift shop situated in a former, 18th century French fort in Northern Michigan. It matched my Felicity doll. 

#nerd. 

I was not the popular girl in school. 

Anyways, this dinner that you crashed seems to have brought you back into the arms (almost!) your dear flashback!girlfriend, Elizabeth, who is all a-fluster at your reappearance into your life. (Which, side note, it would be adorable that she is all flushing and girlish to once again be blessed by your presence, but this is 2017 and I think women, even if it’s anachronistic, are... not supposed to be all girly like that? I mean, is it not a little... silly? Are we for once actually not going to be anachronistic in a television series and actually show how shitty and un-politically correct the world once was? I’m conflicted about how this is all playing out.) At any rate, something is clearly amiss here because it all seems too good to be true and we’re only 10 minutes into the show.

Oh, goody, and your cousin is there, too, welcoming you home heartily. What a lovely time!

Wait... what’s that? And he’s getting married! Yay, wedding. Maybe you’ll get to dance with flashback!girlfriend at the wedding, Pol.

Um, stop. Who is he getting married to? 

No.

Aw.

Awww.

Poldark. Sweetie. I mean, ugh. Tough break. You go off for several years overseas to fight some spoiled, uncivilized American brats and you return home just in time for flashback!girlfriend to marry your cousin.

Awkward.

I really love your cape, by the way.

I guess you aren’t staying in your cousin/soon to be flashback!girlfriend aka. Elizabeth’s mansion tonight, eh? Time to go home. 

Your dad wasn’t much of a housekeeper, was he?

Drunk servants. Rats. How pleasant. Wait, why do I obsess over this century so much? It could use a vat of antibacterial wipes and I would need an arsenal of antibiotics to go back there.

Anyways, Poldark, I know you’ve had a rough day, but do you really need to snap at the servants and be such a bastard? Prickly. 

So, let’s recap, my dear. Your house is a rotting piece of trash. Your flashback!girlfriend is gone, to your cousin/friend no less, daddy is six feet under, and… well, at least the scenery is pretty. I mean, you do have a million dollar view there.

So back to the local mansion: is it Trenwith or Chenwith? My uncultured American ears cannot tell the difference. (Side note: it’s Trenwith.)

I like that you have a group of guys in town to be all bromancey with. At least something is going right in your life.

I can see now that, despite your moody sensibilities, in the next few scenes we have definitely established that, while you may be fairly poor right now, you have your heart in the right place. Are you going to be some sort of Robin Hood type figure? Or perhaps an 18th century, more rugged version of Harry Potter, whose reckless bravery leads him to fight for noble causes? You do have the facial scar. 

Speaking of Harry Potter, now that we have fully established you as being in Gryffindor, let’s cut to a scene where clearly the VILLAIN of the series is being introduced.

“Ross Poldark is alive” we hear a man with curly hair and frilly clothes say. He is counting his money. He has a wingman with an evil voice. I’m 99% sure the curly-haired blonde with frilly clothes is Draco Malfoy’s great-great-great-great-great grandfather. The guy with the evil voice is Crabbe and Goyle’s ancestor. 

Speaking of villains, Elizabeth’s mother is a Disney villain, no? I’m getting some wicked stepmother vibes here. “Marry the dude you don’t like as much,” she advises her daughter. Yes, because that always goes well, lady.

Meanwhile, this episode clearly can’t show too much of you being nice, because we are frequently reminded of how your servants are useless but as much as they’re useless, you’re even more of a bastard to them. Also, did you just call them fat? Wow, Pol, my friend. A+ servant owner of the year award. What’s next, “Let them eat cake”?

This episode is getting a little tedious, but all of the sudden we are introduced to your cousin Verity. I love Verity already. She’s sweet. A breath of fresh air. She’s also been a character in literally every British television or movie I’ve ever seen, and I like her. She has a good attitude despite the mopey family she was clearly born into.

I’m getting the sense that you and flashback!girlfriend are made for each other, because your favorite hobby is brooding. Still, better broody than insecure, which your cousin Francis is. He must be insecure about not being as broody. Instead, he goes for pouty. It’s not quite as sexy.

Luckily, flashback!girlfriend’s mother seems to be influential, because Francis is hanging on to her.

#thatawkwardmoment when you are invited to your flashback!Girlfriend’s wedding with your former BFF.

Okay, so here’s the thing, Poldark. Right around here you make a fatal flaw. No pun intended. Were you literally about to let your cousin die in front of you? Um, I don’t know what to say to you other than, asshole. 

“Is Poldark a bastard? Moment #2: Almost lets cousin/BFF drown. 

10 points from Gryffindor.

Let’s check in on Malfoy, who is now currently vying for a spot as your best frenemy. Good luck shaking that guy off.

I take it back about you and Elizabeth being made for each other. Your broodiness would eventually destroy each other, as you try to out brood yourselves and ultimately would brood each other to death.

Oh, and by the way, at this point in the episode, I have decided you are indeed a bastard.

Pol, dark and broody.

Quick question, Are there going to be pirates in this series?

And then there’s a good ol’ fashioned family Tarot reading, which is appropriately Mysterious for the halfway point of this episode. Thank goodness for the crazy old aunt in her Colonial cap reading the Tarot to her mopey family. This kind is how I like my 18th century dramas.

To be continued...

Sincerely,

A.

{{still photo credits}}