#I would to be off Spotify for a couple months bc I wasn’t able | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bbugyu · 4 years ago

Note

hi can i request a wonwoo friends to lovers!!

abso-fuckin-tutely! since you were a lil vague, i asked my friendly neighborhood wonwoorideul for a prompt and she shouted out the song nothing by bruno major (aka one of the sweetest songs on wonwoo's spotify playlist)!

nothing + jeon wonwoo

moving in with your best friend was the best idea you ever had, even if he claimed it was his.

wc.3707 | fluff, angst, roommates/friends to lovers au, gn reader, like one swear and it barely counts bc it was hoshi, slowburn pining, wonwoo sees you and his mind is full of poetry, happy ending! (jp ver.)

thank you so much for my very first request! i tried to post this quickly, so i’m sorry if it’s not as polished as my other pieces. i was so impatient to get this out hahah. i love me some domestic wonwoo

wonwoo wasn't just your roommate, to be perfectly frank. the lanky guy had wormed his way into your close circle when you had worked part time together at a grocery store fresh out of high school, and when you both decided you needed to be closer to the big city, it just made sense to go together. you had never lived alone before, and your mother had said she would feel better if you had someone she knew around, someone to take care of you for her, even though you insisted you would be fine. she tried to get you to move in with your auntie, and while eating her food would be a definite plus, you absolutely despised the idea of living under the same roof as your chaotic cousin. so, when wonwoo mentioned wanting to get out of your podunk village, you excitedly told him you wanted to move to seoul.

"okay," he had said, looking at you over his comic book as he lounged on your family's couch. "let's go, then."

two months later, his dad was helping the two of you move into a tiny two bedroom apartment in a neighborhood of seoul that housed mostly old married couples, but you liked that it was a little more quiet than downtown. it felt more like home, but busy enough to give you your fill of the city. you could walk down the street to a cafe every morning on your way to the station, headed to your shitty temp desk job that you had just to pay bills. wonwoo was able to transfer to the main seoul office of his existing job as a software engineer, and was even able to work from home most days. you were forever jealous that he could hop onto remote meetings wearing a tie and button up over a pair of sweats. on days that he had to go into the office, though, he would walk with you and point out shops that you had yet to visit in your few months of living in the city.

"since when are you a flowers kinda guy?" you asked, gaze following his finger to the florist shop he pointed out.

he shrugged, adjusting his backpack straps over the blazer he wore. "might be nice for the apartment."

you eyed him. despite knowing him for years, sometimes he still surprised you.

on days that he didn't ride the subway with you, you would come home to find him sitting on the couch, swinging around a digital new york city from a web on the tv. you noticed the potted plant on the kitchen counter when you dropped your keys off in their designated tray. they were red, with tight round petals. you thought they almost looked like roses, but you knew that wasn't right. peonies? begonias? you didn't know enough about flowers to recognize them, but you figured he went to the florist in your neighborhood while you were at work.

he paused his game after landing on a roof somewhere. "how was your day?"

"good," you said, pulling off your light jacket and standing by the couch. "what's with the flowers?"

wonwoo looked around you to the yellow ceramic and red blooms, both colors that suited the other few colorful items in your minimalistic (mostly from having only lived there a few short months) white kitchen. "camellias. i thought they looked nice."

you nodded, thinking that he had more to say, but decided not to press. "have you eaten?"

he stretched on the couch, hands falling to the back of his beanie clad head as he let out a strangled noise. "do i ever eat without you?"

that made you smile. "any thoughts on dinner?"

wonwoo shook his head, settling back into the couch. "what do you feel like?"

"i'm craving pizza."

wonwoo pushed his glasses up his nose and adjusted to fish his phone out of the pocket of his favorite track pants. "go take a shower, i'll order."

you grinned. "you are such a good roommate."

"correction, i'm the best roommate. oh, also," he pointed towards the fridge in the kitchen. "soonyoung came by with side dishes from your aunt."

"oh, thank god," you said, walking over to wash your hands quickly and check the haul. "i was worried we were gonna have to buy kimchi this week. he wasn't annoying, was he?"

wonwoo shook his head, chuckling at the way you talked about your cousin as he tapped through menus on his phone. "he was fine. complained that you weren't here."

"doesn't he have a job?" you opened a plastic container and popped a sweet braised potato into your mouth. your voice was muffled as you chewed. "he knows i get off at five. if he wants to see me he should come when he knows i'll be home."

the small smile on wonwoo's face never left as you rambled about soonyoung, then your fantastic chef of an aunt, and then the new guy that sat at the desk next to you that microwaved fish for lunch. seriously, who microwaves fish? in an office?

wonwoo commiserated with you, then told you to hurry and go wash up, because he had just submitted the pizza order, to which you responded "okay, okay, i'm going. i'll be back in a minute."

after a steam filled shower, you left the bathroom while toweling your damp hair, sporting a plain black v-neck with your, similar to wonwoo's, favorite track pants.

wonwoo looked up and laughed, tugging on the hem of his shirt. "we match."

you eyed one of the several black muscle tanks wonwoo sports regularly and giggled, pulling at the stripes down your pants. "we do. you want wine?"

"hell yeah. friday night, baby."

you laughed, returning to the bathroom to hang your towel before making your way to the kitchen, pulling a couple of stemless wine glasses out of your cabinet. they were the only glasses in the apartment because, as wonwoo had said, your priorities are notoriously bad. but, you reminded him, they worked just fine with water too, so you convinced him that buying real glasses could wait until you were both slightly less busy. you grabbed the bottle of red wine off the counter and looked at the seal. "wonwoo."

"yeah?" he paused his game and looked at you over the small kitchen cart that acted as an island. you held up the wine.

"new bottle."

he sighed dramatically. "what would you do without me?"

you grinned happily as you got the wine opener out of a drawer, holding it out for him. he snatched the bottle and opener from your hands and made a face, but began twisting the corkscrew into the cork nonetheless. you planted your elbow on the wood topped cart and watched him as he tugged out the cork, decidedly ignoring the fact that he was wearing a sleeveless shirt and he definitely looked like he had taken a trip to the gym today.

"you pour, i always miss."

you laughed, pulling at the shrapnel of the seal that wonwoo always refused to cut away before removing the cork. "maybe if you didn't make the neck such a mess it wouldn't go everywhere when we pour it."

"unnecessary step," he retorted, watching you as you poured the wine into the two glasses. he took the one closest to him as you finished. "cheers."

"cheers," you repeated, clinking your glass against his and taking a gulp. you let out a noise of approval. "happy friday."

wonwoo was smiling as he took a sip. "happy friday."

"where's the pizza?"

"uh," he patted his empty pockets, then put down his wine glass to retrieve his phone from the couch. "down the street."

wonwoo had to shove his feet into a pair of slides to meet the delivery person at the entrance of your building, and when he returned, you were giggling into your glass at your sns feed. the wine hit maybe a little too hard, but you hadn't eaten in too long for you to have almost polished off a glass already.

wonwoo gestured for you to join him on the couch, so you grabbed the bottle of wine and tucked it under your arm, carrying the two glasses over to where he was shutting off his game.

you ate merrily, and then you talked. about nothing and everything all at the same time. this happened more often than you ever thought it would, but a week into living in the city, wonwoo had come home from hanging out with some old friends to you crying on the couch with a show on that was far too comical to be the source of your tears. that night, he stayed up with you until the sun was peeking up over the buildings, listening to your worries and struggles. he shared his own fears. you were a blubbering mess. he kept sniffling his nose, acting like the tears welling up in his eyes weren't there when you laughed, despite yourself. wonwoo and you had always been close, or as close as past coworkers that had the same friend circle could be, but this was different. you couldn't remember the last time you had cried like that in front of anyone, much less someone who wasn't your mother.

when you woke up on the couch past noon, your sunday to a late start, your arms were wrapped around wonwoo's torso as he slept, one hand tucked behind his head and the other on your back. his face was inches from yours. your cheeks were pink and you suddenly felt hot, trying as gently as you could to escape without waking him. he stirred, but only to readjust as you snuck away.

he said nothing about the cuddling when he woke to the sound of you closing the front door, and you smiled as you held out the iced americano you got him at the cafe down the street. he squinted at you and scratched his head, taking the drink and sipping it before even testing his voice.

"thanks."

he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. "what? you bought coffee. thank you."

you sat next to him and swirling the straw in your own drink. "no, i mean for staying up with me. sorry i was a mess."

there was a pause, and your heart almost stopped when he put an arm over your shoulder. "you weren't. and i'll stay up with you whenever you want."

wonwoo sipped at his drink again, giving you a light squeeze when a tear fell down your cheek.

living together meant you saw a side of him you had never seen before. the little things he did throughout his day, when he wasn't even particularly conscious that you were in the same room as him. he always bit at his thumb when he was working, and he had a habit of leaving the milk carton open in the fridge. he always made you smile when he emerged from his room with his headphones loud enough for you to hear them from across the room, and he cluelessly bobbed his head to whatever he was listening to while he refilled a water bottle, waving and smiling before he returned to his room. when your mom asked you how living with wonwoo was, you told her he was great. clean, respectful, and quiet. that you had never been closer. that he made you feel safer so far from home. you didn't, however, tell her that you discovered that he liked running home from the gym at 2 pm on the weekends, laying out on the floor with his shirt over his head before he convinced himself to take a shower.

you had always thought wonwoo was cute. how could you not? he was a handsome guy, but you had accepted your place as a friend to him and happily let it progress no further. but, now that you spent your afternoons off arguing with him on whether or not showering was even worth the trouble, you couldn't help but stare at him. watching his toned chest rise and fall as you thought about how he had admitted his crippling fear of failure to you at three in the morning when your face was puffier than a padded jacket.

you never noticed, but wonwoo watched you closer than he did anything in his life. that night, when he found you crying, he felt his heart clench as you told him all your insecurities. when he had pulled you into his chest and held you tight as you questioned whether moving so far from home was a mistake, he patted your hair and told you that it was going to be fine. you had him, afterall. he had you. the two of you could make it out here. and if you still wanted to go home when the lease was up in six months, he would be there to help you move back.

he didn't stop holding you until your breathing settled, your shoulders stopped shaking. he leaned back into the couch, bringing you with him, and you didn't protest when he ran his hand up and down your back, coaxing you to sleep.

since then, every time you spoke to him, he couldn't help but stare at you intently. he watched your eyes light up while you talked about something you loved. he watched you scrunch your nose as you talked about your new desk neighbor. he watched your lips push into a pout when he said he should go get some work done. he wondered if anyone else noticed the way you sucked on your teeth while you thought up a witty comeback, or the way you carded your fingers through your still wet hair. or the way your eyes creased into a laugh, your hand coming up to block your open mouth. or the way you chewed on your red wine stained lip while he tried to form a sentence in response, when all he wanted to do was put those lips on his.

wonwoo had been stewing with these feelings far longer than he thought bearable, but stuffed it down in fear that he might lose you altogether. he didn't want to lose you altogether. he had gone on a walk halfway through his workday at home, feeling antsy for no particular reason, though if he thought about it long enough he would have realised it was because you had said something about feeling lonely lately that morning. he saw the florist he had pointed out the week before, and his feet brought him through the door.

"hi!" he looked up from the colorful display by the door to the person behind the counter and smiled politely. "did you need help finding something?"

"um," wonwoo blinked and looked around for a moment, then moved towards the counter. "i need a gift, i think."

the florist's eyebrows quirked curiously. "you think?"

he nodded, eyes flicking down to the nametag on his chest. he wondered if he was a foreigner with his three character name, but didn't mention it. "yeah. housewarming. for my, uh-" wonwoo paused, catching himself not knowing how to describe his relationship to you. roommate? wannabe lover? he bit his cheek. "my friend."

joshua nodded slowly, watching wonwoo's eyes as he worked his way through the sentence. "just friend?"

wonwoo stared at a flower arrangement to his right. "something like that."

"got it." joshua walked around the counter and gestured for wonwoo to follow him deeper into the store. "since it's a housewarming, how about a potted plant? something to brighten up the space for a long time. they'll think about you every time they see it."

wonwoo nodded, not saying anything about how funny he thought it was that he said he was getting his own roommate a housewarming gift. "that sounds nice."

"now, i'm not gonna claim to know you," the florist started, putting up his hands to exaggerate his words, they kept moving as he pushed and pulled pots, looking for one in particular. "you've said, like, maybe a full sentence to me, but those were some complex emotions when you called them a friend, so i'm gonna assume i know the situation. i think you should get camellias. specifically red ones."

wonwoo looked at the sunshine yellow pot in the soft featured man's hands. the petals of the flower were round and delicate, and he thought about how you said the color yellow made you happy. "why's that?"

"i think you should look up the meaning when you give them this," joshua said, and for some reason, wonwoo trusted him.

he came back to the apartment thinking about how he might have just gotten scammed into buying the potted flowers in his hands, only to find soonyoung about to hit the buzzer to call your unit, a far too large cooler bag sitting on the bench by the entrance of your building.

"is y/n around?" soonyoung asked, trailing behind wonwoo as they walked up the stairs, struggling slightly with the overpacked bag. "they didn't respond to my kakao."

"they're at work," he replied, flipping his keys over in his hands to find the one for your front door. "they'll be home around six."

"ah, shit," soonyoung laughed. "i always forget you guys have adult jobs. i would kill for a monday through friday."

wonwoo almost laughed, but left the smile on his face. "weekends are kind of overrated, anyways."

the shorter hoisted the bag of dishes onto the kitchen cart while wonwoo closed the door. "who're the flowers for?"

wonwoo stared at the pot in his arm as if it was the first time he had seen it. "oh, uh. just the place."

"for y/n?"

he looked at soonyoung, who had his chin in his palms, elbows planted on the counter as he smiled. he knew he was right when wonwoo didn't respond.

"i think they'll like them," he said, unzipping the top of the bag and starting to unload his mother's packaged dishes for his cousin. "they like the color yellow."

wonwoo just said "i know," before he opened the fridge and started rearranging things to fit the new food.

according to soonyoung, wonwoo was painfully obvious. when he had come by a couple weeks prior, you were arguing with him about some ridiculous childhood memory at your grandparents' home, and while soonyoung laughed, he noticed the smile on wonwoo's face when he watched you. he also noticed the way he instinctively put a hand on your back when you sighed about your newest temp gig, and soonyoung pulled on his ear as he looked at the ceiling, leaning against the kitchen cart much like he was today as he told wonwoo about how oblivious his cousin must be.

you pulled your knees to your chest as you sipped at your wine, the pizza box almost completely polished off by the two of you sitting on the floor in front of your couch. you stare at the pot of flowers.

"they're pretty," you said finally.

you too, wonwoo thought.

"camellias, right?" you turned back to him. "i like them."

i like you, wonwoo thought. "i went to that place down the street. the guy working was nice."

you nodded, sipping again. "any reason in particular?"

"i-" wonwoo paused, staring at his glass. he finished the last gulp in it and put it on the floor next to the pizza box. "you said something about being down recently," he said, folding his fingers together as he leaned back against the couch. "i wanted to get you something, i guess."

you watched his fingers as they pushed his glasses up his nose again, and your heart fluttered at the idea of wonwoo thinking about you when you weren't around. "really? that's so nice," you pouted, shoving his knee.

he laughed, pulling his knee onto the couch to face you. "the guy there - the florist, i guess? his name was joshua. he seemed to really know flowers." he knitted his brows together when he realized he was procrastinating on saying what he was nervous to. he put his arm on the back of the couch, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm before continuing. "he said i should look up what they mean when i give them to you. red ones, specifically."

you perked up, heart racing. "what they mean? they have meaning?"

"y-yeah, i guess so," wonwoo said, then cleared his throat.

"hey google!" you looked over to where the device sat by your tv. "what to red camellias mean?"

wonwoo stared at your profile as you watched the device think before its automated voice piped up.

"camellia flowers are available in white, pink, and red, with each color having its own unique symbolism."

you looked over to him, excitedly putting your glass to your lips as the voice continued.

"pink camellias symbolize a longing for someone, and is given to people who are missed."

wonwoo swallowed hard, fingers fidgeting against his temple.

"red camellias symbolize love, passion, and a deep desire."

your eyes widened slightly as the device shut off, glass still to your lips and eyes still on wonwoo's. he stared back at you, and you wondered if he meant it. but he never claimed that he didn't feel those things for you.

before you could think, you clumsily put your glass on the floor and moved. you didn't stop moving until your lips were on wonwoo's, pushing him back into the arm of the couch as you practically crawled into his lap.

his hands found your hips and he helped you settle into him, your fingers tracing his jawline as it worked against yours. you sighed into his lips as his hand slid up under your shirt, placed gently on the small of your back. pulling you into him. when you paused for a moment, you thought about waking up to this exact same view, that day after you had cried all night. but this time, his other hand pulled your jaw back to kiss him again, and you happily complied.

#YAAAA #thank you so much for requesting i owe you my life #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #jeon wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #yoonpancake #requested #i wrote dis #do i have a wonu tag yet #sure dont #wonton

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pappydaddy · 4 years ago

Text

Heather (j.m.)

A/N: I guess I’m back? I never really left, I was just kinda without internet and then I just completely lost all concept of time. Like I am not kidding, I have no idea what day it is. But anyway, I am working on my Steve Harrington series and trying to get the third part out soon and I have a bunch of ideas for imagines so I am going to be working on those, trying to get those out as soon as possible. This piece is inspired by sad bitch hours bc I like listening to sad songs even if I’m not sad?? So, this is inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. I also love writing sad angst after long breaks for some reason. ANYWAY, enjoy and check out the song bc Conan Gray is amazing.

Show/Movie: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: Sad, angst, longing, negative thoughts about oneself (appearance, personality, etc), comparing to other people, jealousy, unspoken feelings

I think I’m going to do a part two, maybe even a part three, idk, we’ll see!

Link to an edited youtube video of this song (I used this one to write with)

Link to Spotify version of this song

Part One - You’re here! | Part Two

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

The cool ocean breeze blew past her as she sat on a piece of driftwood, the sound of waves lapping up onto the wet sand inches away from her bare feet calmed her. The beginnings of a party stirred the peaceful silence up behind her, disrupting the calm the ocean set. Her friends were up by the bonfire they started, talking and laughing about something. Y/N was torn. She didn’t know if she was sad to be missing out on the fun or if she was glad she didn’t need to plaster on her fake smile she usually had to wear around her. The newest addition to their small, tight-knit group. Normally, one of the boy’s flings wouldn’t affect her like this, but when it’s the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy bringing them around, she couldn’t help but feel her heart-breaking each time.

She had tried to deny her feeling for a long time, mostly because she knew that he’d never get into a serious relationship, it was just the way JJ was; the second reason was because of the rule: no Pogue on Pogue macking. Of course, the rule was able to give her a reason to keep her feelings a secret from everyone, but it was also what made her hurt so much. If she could just tell someone about her feelings, she’d be able to sit up there by the warm fire with her friends, laughing and joking with them. Instead, she kept her mouth shut about her feelings and she distanced herself from them whenever she was there.

Y/N hugged herself, wrapping herself up in warmth. The thin sweater she wore didn’t do much against the fall wind attacking her along with the breeze blowing off the ocean. Nights were colder, the summer humidity disappearing quickly, but it didn’t stop the teens from partying into the night. Glancing over her shoulder, she snuck a glance at her friends. Her eyes, without fail, went right to JJ. His arm was slung around her, his beautiful smile on his face, his adam’s apple bouncing as he retold an embarrassing story about John B who laughed loudly. She was sitting just far enough away that she couldn’t hear the words they were saying, but she could hear their barking laughter.

She watched them, she was beautiful. She was Heather. The new girl. Y/N had nothing against her other than the fact that she had JJ, even if it was going to be over with by the end of this month. JJ never stuck around relationships for too long, but it didn’t mean they hurt Y/N any less. How could Y/N compete with her? Her long black hair blowing in the wind as if she was out of a movie, her striking blue eyes, her perfectly freckled face that looked like an Instagram filter. Y/N would never be as pretty as Heather in her mind.

Y/N’s laid-back, hippie/surfer attitude was no match for Heather, nor were her looks. Heather was beautiful inside out. While the casing looked like she was scalped by the Greek Goddesses, her personality was like she was filled with sunshine and rainbows. No matter when you saw her, she always had a kind smile. She was perfect: smart, kind, popular, pretty. It was as if is was impossible to hate her. She was too kind to.

Standing from her piece of driftwood, Y/N decided that she wasn’t in the mood to be at a party. Grabbing her shoes from the sand by her feet, she made her way along the water, not wanting to walk past her friends and have to answer questions. She didn’t want to spare a glance in Heather’s direction, not wanting to see JJ’s sweater on her. The same sweater he gave her last December.

Shivers ran up her spine as they all laid in the hammocks at The Chateau. While it was winter, they still decided to go out and stargaze after smoking the blunt JJ had just rolled. In their stoned haste to stare at the stars, Y/N had forgotten to bring a sweater or even a blanket, leaving her shivering in the hammock she shared with JJ since he broke his a few days ago.

JJ, having noticed her shivering since she was shaking the hammock - making its swing choppy, sat up. “Here,” He sat up, making her look up at him curiously. While they were slightly buzzed, they were still able to think since they were used to the stuff JJ gets. “Take my sweater, you’re freezing.” He told her, forcing her to sit up and put his sweater on. The dark fabric (while thin) warmed her perfectly but she wasn’t sure if it was because it came off of JJ’s body or if she was just that cold.

“No, JJ, I can’t, you’ll get cold!” She protested, moving to take it off and give it back, but JJ stopped her, zipping it up to make it harder for her to get off.

“You’ve got to now, it looks much better on you and it’ll just be embarrassing if I wore it after you did,” He winked, settling back down, his hands clasped behind his head, his elbows sticking out, blocking where her head was supposed to go. “Plus, since I don’t have a sweater, it just means I need you to cuddle me to keep me warm now.” He smirked, his eyes staying on the stars. With a blush heating her face, Y/N laid back, her head resting on his chest, her arm resting over his stomach.

It was just polyester, but it made her think that there was just a slightest bit of hope that maybe he liked her back. She liked to replay that day over in her head, her mind creating a figment of her imagination - a fictional ending where they ended up together, but since Heather showed up, she stomped all over it with her angel feet, but in the nicest way possible.

Sand kicked up on the backs of her heels, sliding off easily as she walked along the beach. She wondered if anyone noticed that she left, if JJ noticed she left. She doubted it, they were all mesmerized by Heather and her amazing personality while Y/N was off drowning in her own vast ocean of sadness. Looking behind her, she could faintly make the group out, spotting the crackling fire spitting sparks into the sky as started to bleed with fading pinks and oranges. They looked like specks, but she could tell that they were still laughing as if she hadn’t left. Sighing, she made her way up the dune, walking through the cluster of trees and onto the sidewalk, walking against the sea of people making their way towards the party.

____

She was working the next time she saw them. She was trapped and forced to sit there watching them. Of course, she was inside the restaurant while the couple stood outside on the deck, waiting for Pope and John B. Kiara was inside, finishing her shift up. Y/N’s eye caught on them as she grabbed her table their drinks. They were standing there, deep in conversation, their hands clasped together. She couldn’t take her eyes off them as their lips met in a long kiss. Her mind wondered. Why would he ever want to kiss her after having such a perfect girl in his arms?

Y/N wanted to hate her, she really did, but she couldn’t. “Y/N, you’re spilling the water everywhere,” Her co-worker exclaimed, jumping towards her with a dry dishtowel, sopping up the mess. She jolted in shock, his voice snapping her out of her daze. “Your clothes are soaked.” He fussed, trying to help dry her hand. Her eyes glanced back up from the mess at the deck entrance dinging, alerting them of someone entering. The group walked in, JJ and Heather in the back of John B and Pope.

“Hi, Y/N! Where is your section?” John B called out, wanting to be served by his friend as an excuse to see her since he hadn’t talked to her in a while.

“Sorry, John B, I’ll have to take your table so she can get cleaned up, next time.” Her co-worker told them, getting another dry towel to try and help her dry her clothes so she wasn’t dripping everywhere. John B pressed his lips together into a line, nodding with disappointment.

“Thanks, Jack,” John B nodded his chin in Jack’s direction. “Maybe we’ll talk before we leave, Y/N.” She looked back up from her shirt, nodding. Her eyes caught on JJ, their eyes connecting as Heather talked to Kie (who had just came out of the back), not noticing. It certainly was a sight for sore eyes, JJ’s eyes were, but it was gone as fast as it came.

“That should be good, Y/N,” Jack brought her back, making their eyes connect. His eyes were just a gorgeous as JJ’s, but they didn’t take her breath away like JJ’s did. He smiled at her, his eyes sparkling with happiness. His smile was show-stopping, but it didn’t effect her like JJ’s did. “You should go get changed, I’ll take these to the table for you, table four, right?”

“Yeah, thanks Jack, I owe you one.” She called to him, disappearing into the back, thankful that she always brought a change of clothes and thankful that she didn’t have to serve them. Though, she knew that she shift was going to be mostly trying not to even look towards their table, she was happy she didn’t have to go through standing at their table, working even harder at her fake smile so she didn’t show them that she was dying inside while she felt like she wanted to rip her feet off because they were so sore.

____

It was at school, she had seen the whole thing. Lost in the crowd, she stood there watching as Heather weeped. She could tell that JJ was embarrassed, he had tried to do it quickly and in private, but Heather’s load sobs and gasps drew the first few people then they drew the rest of the crowd. Even with a mixture of tears and makeup rolling down her perfect skin, Heather was the figure of beauty. Now, Y/N was certain - she’d never stand a chance with JJ Maybank, even after he broke up with Heather, for Y/N wasn’t half as pretty as her.

Heather pushed through the crowd, trying to get away from JJ. She pushed between Y/N and Jack, who stood beside her, his books hanging by his hip, Y/N’s books in his other hand. “Poor Heather, poor JJ. He actually looks like he tried to break up nicely this time. He must have cared for her at least a little.” He commented, observing the blonde boy while the group dispersed, giving him a perfect view of the two.

“Who wouldn’t care for her, she’s an angel.” Y/N muttered, her eyes connecting with JJ’s. A sympathetic smile stretched onto her face, feeling sorry for him. Their eyes never separated, the two of them standing still, just absorbed in their eye contact.

“Come on, Y/N, let’s go. We can’t be late for our shift.” Jack told her, forcing her to break away from JJ’s eyes. She looked up at him, nodding before turning and walking the short distance to his pick-up, climbing in. Jack tossed their books in the bed, along with their bags, slipping onto the bench seat next to her. Turning to gaze out the window, she saw JJ staring at her, still standing in the same spot. Their eyes connected once again in a fleeting moment before Jack slowly pulled out of the spot, exiting the nearly empty parking lot.

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cherrytdatt · 5 years ago

Text

Sadness Ritual pt. 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~6k (i really thought it would be shorter)

Summary: Tom wished he was the normal guy you wanted.

Warnings: one panic attack (nothing too graphic), angst, my bad language, and my bad writing.

A/N: Sadness Ritual pt 2 is here! I didn't wanna make a pt 2 but then i received this ask talking about a Tom pov and i thought it was the best idea ever, so i decided to try it. Now that i did it i kind of want a happier end for Tom and Y/N, so PLEASE let me know if you guys want a part 3 to end all this mess. OH! AND THIS IS ANGST AF!!!!!!

Request: SADNESS RITUAL WAS SO GOOD. But what if it was the other way around? What if Tom thinks the reader, a normal girl, would never choose him bc of his fame and how she always says she probably wouldn’t be able to handle it? Thanks in advance!❣️

***Playlist: “This is Lewis Capaldi” on Spotify.

Part 1

Tom looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair for the tenth time. "Fuck," he muttered, annoyed. "Fuck this shit!" he said, running his hand through his hair and messing it out even more. Tom was at his limit. He was forcing himself to go on a date just to try to feel something. Actually, he was on his third date with the same girl. He talked to her, he kissed her, they had sex, and nothing. Tom felt nothing. Well, he felt...regret, sadness, anxiety...not what he was looking for.

"Third date?" Harrison asked, leaning on the door, and looking at his friend's annoyed expression.

"Something like that," Tom said.

"This is getting serious?" he asked when Tom started trying to fix his hair again.

"It seems like," Tom said with a weak voice.

"Did you introduced her to any other friend?" Harrison was trying to make his friend talk. Something he didn't do for some time.

Tom glanced at Harrison, knowing what he was really trying to ask. "Not yet. She'll meet Tuwaine and Sam tonight," he said, looking at his reflection again.

"What about Y/N?" Harrison finally asked.

"What about her?" Tom was feeling more and more stressed.

"How long you think you can hide this from her?"

"I'M NOT..." he said, exasperated. "I'm not hiding anything," he defended himself. Harrison knew that Tom loved you, cause he told him months ago. Harrison also knew that you loved Tom, cause his girlfriend and your best friend, Anna, told him months ago. They tried not to force you two to face this mess, but Harrison was tired of seeing his friend struggling to get over a girl who loved him. However, every time he talked to Tom, the boy always said he was okay, and that there was nothing he could do, even if you liked him the same way, to make it work.

"Then what is it?" Harrison asked.

Tom took a deep breath, finally giving up on his hair. He was gonna wear a hat. "You wanna know something I want?" Tom asked rhetorically, leaning against the sink, and Harrison looked at him, hoping his friend would finally talk to him. "I want you to forget that I ever told you I like Y/N. I want you to go hang out with Anna and let me get over Y/N the best way I can," he walked to Harrison. “Please, do this for me," he patted his friend's shoulder and left the bathroom, going back to his bedroom. Harrison shook his head, sad for his friend.

The date was a nightmare. Tom didn't enjoy it at first, then he started drinking so he could start enjoying it. He got drunk, therefore he started talking and being clingy. In the end, his head was pounding, his heart was aching, and his guilt was more alive than ever. When he finally got home, all he wanted was to sleep and forget about the entire night. He laid in his bed, wishing for a short term amnesia. Why did he keep doing this? How long would he keep trying to like this girl and ignore what he felt for you? He looked at his cellphone that was by his side on the bed. He couldn't tell you. He tried. Almost a year ago.

"Look! I just found another pic!" you said animatedly, and already a little drunk, turning the phone so he can look at it. You laughed at his grumpy face in the picture.

"And that's why I hate LA," he said. "Only there these people follow me and take these pictures," he pointed at your phone.

You two had planned a movie night with Harrison and Anna, at least that was what you thought. What happened was that Tom asked Harrison to make something up and leave you and him alone, so he could finally talk to you about how he was feeling.

Tom starred at you while you scrolled trough stupid sites, looking for 'grumpy photos of Tom.' You always said you like to turn them into memes. "I don't know how you do this. I would die if someone took a picture of me and posted it online without my permission," you said. Tom always knew that you hated unexpected pictures. Actually, you hated pictures in general. Your Instagram feed had thirty pictures, all landscapes from places you traveled to. That was one of the reasons he rarely went out with you, and when you go out, he made sure that more people were around so people won't focus on taking pictures of you.

"You get used to it," he shrugged.

"I doubt that," you said absentmindedly, still scrolling. "Oh! Look at this one," you turned the screen so Tom could see. It was a picture of him, eating, and a girl he was out with, annoyed with something. "Best of luck for your next girlfriend, because this..." you pointed at the screen. "It's a lot to deal with," you laughed, not noticing the sad expression that appeared in his face. Tom just realized he couldn't tell you how he felt. Option one, you would turn him down, his heart would break and he would have to watch you live your life without him. Option two, you would like him back, but as soon as the world found out about your relationship, you would hate him for exposing you.

"You don't think I’m worth the effort?" he asked, his tone more serious than he wanted to. He was incapable to control his own voice.

"Sweetie, don't get me wrong. You're the best person I know, any girl would be lucky to date you. But this girl should be enjoying your company, and she's clearly not," you said. "And I'm sure that she's like that cause you were in a bad mood because of the paparazzi," you gave him a questioning look, making him smile.

"Let's just watch the movie," he changed the subject before you could notice his mood switch.

His heavy eyes opened slowly. The noises coming from the kitchen helped him to wake up completely. He searched for his phone. 10:32. He sat on the bed, holding his head. "Fuck!" he groaned. "Fucking stupid!" He got up, going to his bathroom. He needed a shower.

The shower and the smell of coffee was a relief. Tom put on a black jeans and headed to the kitchen. "'Morning," Anna said, seeing him enter the kitchen.

"Hey," Tom said, going to the coffeemaker and serving himself some coffee.

"Tough night?" Anna asked, spreading strawberry jelly in her toast.

"Drank too much," he said.

They both sat in silence, eating, and drinking the coffee. After breakfast, Tom went back to his room. He was in no mood to talk. He searched in his cabinet for some aspirin and something for his nausea. He laid in bed, turning his TV in some random golf game. But he wasn't really paying attention.

He unlocked his phone, going through his chats. His family chat was blowing up, just like his group chat with the boys. He clicked on your tab, looking at the meme you sent him the day before. He didn't answer cause he was on his way to the girl's house. He couldn't talk to you today. The memories were too fresh in his mind. He just stayed there, laid in bed, waiting for the pills to work. Things could be easier. They should be.

"So?" you asked, looking at him. You two were laid on your back on the floor of his living room.

"I'm thinking," he said, laughing.

"Jesus! It's just a color. Just pick one and I'll tell you if it'll look good or not," you rolled your eyes.

"Blue?" he said more like a question.

"What kind of blue?" you asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged, laughing. "How many there are?"

"At least tell me if it's light or dark," you tried.

"In the middle," he looked at you. You were starring at the skylight. The sun sparkling in your eyes, making them shine even more.

You laughed, shrinking your shoulders, he loved it when you do that. "So, they will give you a car, and you will pick a blue one? Not dark blue or light blue. A middle blue?" you asked turning to look at him.

"Exactly!" he said.

"You know what? Ask for a middle blue one. If you hate it, at least you didn't pay for it," you smiled.

"Good point," he said, and you heard the door opening. You sat, leaning on your arms.

"What are you two doing?" Harrison asked, stopping at the door with Anna by his side.

"Tom is getting a car, and we're trying to decide what color we want," you explained nonchalantly. Tom propped himself in his elbows, looking at the newly formed couple.

"How was your date?" you asked. You knew they would tell the truth no matter what. Your group of friends, that involved another four or five people, was this type of friend, that always tells the truth. If it was bad, they would say that they decided to stay friends, and everything would be okay. If it was good, good!

Anna bit her lower lip, holding a smile. "I think it was good," Harrison said, holding her by the waist, and looking down at her.

"Yeah...it was good," she looked at him.

"They are gonna get married, aren't they?" you whispered to Tom who laughed, shaking his head.

"Friends can do this?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Apparently, they can," you pointed at the couple that was in their own world. "I'm gonna be a shitty made of honor," you whined.

"I'm gonna be a great best man," Tom shrugged.

"We are going..." Harrisons said pointing to his room.

"Yeah, yeah. Go!" you cut him off, and they just left you two in the living room. "So, blue?" you asked, laying on the floor again.

"Blue!" Tom said.

He got the blue car, and you loved it for a while. But then it was so bright and so...blue. Tom started hating too. So much that, after a while, he just gave it to his mom and his brothers.

Tom looked at his phone again. 7:24. The day was getting darker and darker. A knock on his door woke him from his thoughts. He spent the whole day in bed between naps and self-hatred. "Hey, mate. How are you feeling?" Harrison asked getting into his room and closing the door behind him.

"Not great," Tom replied, propping himself up.

"Yeah...It'll get worst," Harrison warned, sitting in his bed. His face was a mix of worry and sadness.

"What happened?" Tom asked in a worried tone.

"Your date, yesterday, it's all over the internet," Harrison said, handing him his phone. A clear picture of him, holding the girl's hand. He didn't even remember doing this, but he was smiling, and the girl was too. He was fucked! He didn't tell almost anyone he was dating. His mom didn't know. You didn't know. Y/N! You crossed his mind. You would hate him for hiding something like this, and you didn't even know why he was hiding it.

"Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!" He said, getting up still looking at the pictures.

"It's okay, mate. I know it's not what you wanted, but it's okay. You're allowed to date," Harrison tried to calm him down.

Tom was freaking out, his breath was getting shorter, and his chest was hurting, his head was spinning. He fucked up big time.

"Tom?" Harrison called. He ran his hand through his hair. Why was this happening? And at that moment, he wished he wasn't famous. He wished he never did the Spider-Man movies. He wished he was a normal guy. That way these pictures would never exist and he would be the normal you want in your life. He needed to get out of his house. He handed Harrison his phone and left the room, putting on the first shirt and shoe he found.

"Where are you going?" Harrison followed him around the house.

"I'm going out," he said, getting his car keys.

"Tom..." Harrison called, but he was already out.

There was one place Tom could handle now. There was one person who would help him now. He drove the short way to their house. The familiar path. He stopped the car, getting out. He was still shaking, and for a split second, he thought that he shouldn't drive like that. He walked the little trail to the front door. Tom took a deep breath, the deepest he could at this moment, knocking on the door three times. His wait seemed longer than it really was. A noise inside warned him someone was home.

"Hey, mom," he said when the door finally opened.

"Hey, sweetie," his mom said, opening her arms to him. He hugged her like it was the last thing he was gonna do in his life. His eyes were burning, and he already could feel the tears emerging. "I'm sorry, baby," she said, caressing his head. His mom knew how much he hated being that exposed, she knew how much he was struggling the last months, and she had a feeling that the girl he liked wasn't the one in the pictures.

Tom played with the mug in front of him, trying to forget everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours. "Do you wanna talk about it?" his mom asked, looking at him.

Tom looked at her, and then again to his mug. "I...I just..." he was struggling. "How...did I let that happen?"

"It was not your fault, Tom. The pictures were not your fault. You are always careful, but these people are crazy. They stalk you, and never care about your privacy," his mom said.

"Yeah, but if I didn't have this job..." he started, but she cut him off.

"Don't say that! You love your job. A lot of great things come from your job. All the people you help, you just help because of your job. So don't regret having it. You just have to learn how to deal with this part of your job," she said.

"I know. But sometimes I just wished I was a normal guy, you know?" he cried.

"You are a normal guy. You clean the dishes, you argue with your brothers, you go out with your friends. These are all 'normal guy' stuff," she smiled.

"Yeah, but..."

"Look,” she looked at him expectantly, “Do you wanna tell me what's really bothering you?" she said and he looked at her.

"It's... it's Y/N," he finally said. His mom listened to the whole story. How he fell in love with you, but you kept saying that date him must be a nightmare because of the pictures and the stalk, even though he was the best person you ever met. He told her how he tried to tell you a few times about how he felt, but always gave up when you included the word 'normal' in your guy description after saying his life as crazy as hell. How after a few months he just gave up and tried to move on, dating other girls, and that was when this girl showed up. He told her he didn't have the courage to talk to you about the girl, because he rather tell you about how he loved you, instead.

"You may disagree with me, but I think she likes you too," his mom said afterward, earning a shocking and confused look from Tom. "First, I see you two together since you were twelve, and it's annoying how sometimes you ignore everyone else in the room but each other. Second, she says that but never refuses to go out with the boys and you, and this means that she hates the exposure, but she hates, even more, being apart from you. And I will end with the third one, even though I could go on forever. She would never say you are the best person in the world if she didn't think you are worth the effort," his mom said.

"I asked her if I wasn't worth," he said still not convinced.

"And what did she said?"

He tried to remember the night, which wasn't that difficult since he replayed your talk for days after it happened. "She was looking at some paparazzi pictures of me and a girl, saying how bad that girl’s life must be with all the exposure and I asked her if I wasn't worth it," he told her.

"And what did she said?"

"She said I was the best person in the world but the girl in the picture should be enjoying being with me, and she wasn't," he finished.

"Yes? And when is that the same thing that say you don’t worth the effort?" she asked with a smile in her face.

"It isn't?" he asked, a little hope appearing in his eyes.

"Of course not! She meant that the girl didn't like you enough to be happy there," she said. "If you want my opinion, I think she implied that you being 'the best person in the world', the girl was being an idiot for not enjoying your company," she finished.

"Do you really think this?" he asked.

"Why would I lie? By the way, I think you were scared of talking to her, and that's why you got everything wrong," she shrugged.

Maybe his mom was right. He was afraid to mess up your friendship and took him weeks to decide to talk to you. And when he finally decided, the first thing you said made him give up.

Tom went back to his house feeling a little better. Talk to his mom always helped. He still was regretting the night before, and still was afraid of talking to you, but now he didn't hate his job, and he had this hope that maybe you could love him back enough to handle all the bullshit in his life.

"Did you talked to Y/N?" Anna asked as soon as he got home.

"No," he started. But before he could say he was planning to, Anna cut him off.

"She doesn't answer my texts or call," she said, looking at him from the couch. "I think she's upset."

"Did you called her place?" he asked scrolling through his phone.

"No. I think you should go talk to her," Anna told him. She had an idea of why you weren't answering her, and only Tom could solve this.

"Y-yeah, sure. I'll..." he said, picking up his keys again and leaving.

'I talked to her. She's alive. But talk to her! You know what I mean!!!' Anna's text appeared on the screen of his phone, and he felt the air being pulled out of him.

He got into your building, breathing slowly, trying to calm himself. The time in the elevator looked like an eternity. When the door opened and your door came to his view, he thought he was going crazy for doing this. But now he was here, so he was gonna do it anyway. He walked to your door, and he could hear that annoying band you always listen to when you're sad. His heart broke, thinking about you being sad. He leaned his hands against your doorway, trying to calm himself the best he could. He knocked on your door three times. Not a change in the sound that was coming from inside. He looked at the floor seeing a shadow moving behind the door and that hurt him a little. You was hiding from him.

"I know you're in there. Let me in," he tried to sound as normal as he could. "I can see your shadow moving behind the door. Open up," he finished when you didn't answer.

"I'm not feeling so good. I talk to you later. Or text you." you said, but he wasn't giving up that easy. He thought about what his mom said.

"Please. I know you're lying. Your second best friend told me you were upset," he said, exposing her lie.

"Yeah... well, I'm upset cause I'm feeling sick," now he knew you were lying, and your lazy voice was a sign that you were probably drunk.

"You can't lie to me. I'm hearing that awful band you listen to whenever you're sad... and by your voice, I can tell you are drinking wine. No one who is feeling sick drinks wine," he said, feeling a little happy with how much he knew about you.

"Please, Tom... just leave me alone. We can talk tomorrow," he felt the sadness on your voice. He took a deep breath leaning his hand against the door.

"No way. I'm your best friend. I'm here to take care of you and I'm not gonna leave until you let me in," he said concerned. "I'm gonna spend the entire night on the floor, and all your neighbors will talk about how you let a cute movie star spend the night on the floor, and you will be a villain, and they will hate you forever," he joked seating on the floor by your door. He had to talk to you today.

"You're so idiot," you said, so low that he almost didn't hear.

"But you love me," he said, with a hopeful smile. 'I hope,' he thought.

He heard you walking and the song stopped. He did it! You would let him in. "I know you gonna let me in cause you turned off that awful music," he laughed.

"I didn't turn it off, I just turned down," he heard you.

"Why do you listen to such depressive music..." he started. "...when you're sad?" he finished, relief running through his body when he saw you.

"Do you want me to listen to a Barney song?" you quipped with a smile. Even though it looked like a forced smile, he was happy he let him in.

"First of all, tell me why you are sad?" he asked, hugging you, hoping you would tell the truth.

"No specific reason," you lied and he felt your body tense in his arms.

"Why are you so difficult sometimes?" he asked, entering your apartment before you could lock him out.

"I'm not difficult," you protested.

"Sure," he sat on your couch, picking up the glass of wine you were drinking. He was feeling the courage ran out of his body. He needed alcohol. Even if it was that disgusting wine you drank on these occasions. "And this awful cheap wine," he complained, feeling the extremely bitter taste of the wine go down his throat.

"Are you here to criticize me? Cause I didn't ask you to come," you said and he felt the bitterness in your voice.

"I'm joking, okay?" he explained himself.

"Okay," you mumble, sitting by his side. His heart was going crazy inside his chest. "I thought you were out with friends today?" you started before he could say anything.

"Who told you that?" he asked confused, he had no plans of going out tonight.

"Anna," you said.

"Yeah... she was wrong," he said, thinking if Anna told you about him storming out of his house. He looked at the TV, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes when he thought about his panic attack.

"I thought so... since you were out yesterday," you said, and he felt his body froze. How did you know about him going out? He asked Harrison and Anna not to tell you anything.

"How do you know that?" he asked, not wanting to look at you. He was panicking.

"Anna," you said, and an idea crossed his mind. Did you saw the pictures? "Did you had fun?" you asked, cutting his thoughts.

Tom was feeling the panic building in his body. "It could've been better if you were there," he said, trying to hide how dry his throat felt.

"Well, if you had asked me, I could've been there," you said, and he felt his chest tightening. He hummed, incapable of saying any words. He was feeling his entire body hurt. He couldn't think straight.

You got up, going to the kitchen with the glass and the empty bottle. He took deep breaths, trying to stay calm. His body relaxed a little. "You can sleep on the couch if you want," you said, and his heart fell. You were running away from him.

"Can I sleep with you?" he asked before he could think something else. He just wanted to be close to you.

"Sure," you shrugged. "I'm gonna... brush my teeth," you left the room, and Tom could hear his heart beating loud and clear. You knew about the pictures. He saw your notebook close to where you were seated. He looked at the hallway where you disappeared a few seconds ago, and without thinking much about what he was doing, he opened the notebook. The first thing he saw broke his heart in a million pieces. It was him holding that girl's hand. So you saw the pictures, and that was why you were sad.

Wait! His mind started working again. If what was bothering you was the fact that he didn’t tell you about the girl, you would be mad, not sad. And you would scream at him, not hide from him. But you didn't scream. You were sad. That could mean his mom was right. You liked him. He felt his heart beating fast. A confident smile appearing on his face.

He closed the notebook again. A stingy feeling in his stomach when he focused on the picture again before closing. He got up, going to your bathroom. "Can I use the bathroom?" he asked, not hearing a noise from inside.

"Yeah. I'm almost done," you said, and he leaned on the doorway, not able to hide the smile in his face, thinking that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

“What took you so long?” he asked with a smile, the feeling that his mom was right growing inside him.

“I-I’m going… to bed,” you said, and he nodded.

“I’ll meet you there,” he said, going into the bathroom. He was feeling almost normal again. Tom looked at his reflection. His hair was a mess, but he didn't care. You always said he looked good like that. He brushed his teeth with the toothbrush he left at your home a few months ago. Before he left the bedroom he looked at himself one more time, promising internally that, no matter what happened from that moment on, you two would end up together. Even if he had to take classes to learn how to be the normal guy you wanted.

He walked out of the bathroom, going to your bedroom. “Do you still have those sweatpants I gave you a couple months ago?” he thought about how you looked so good in his clothes, that he had to give them to you.

“Yeah, I think it’s somewhere in my closet,” you said. “Maybe… the second drawer,” you instructed, seeing he wasn't finding it.

He opened the drawer finding the sweatpants and the shirt. “Lucky me I gave you this,” he smiled, taking off his pants. You avoided his look. He decided to try again and ask you why you were sad. “So when are you gonna tell me why you’re sad?” he said, putting the sweatpants.

“Uh-hum… I just told you, no specific reason,” you lied again.

“You know I know you too well to believe in that, right?” he tried, taking his shirt off. He felt your eyes on him, and he bit his lips trying not to smile at your charmed expression. After a few seconds, he decided to cough to get your attention back. You looked at him, and he pressed his lips together, that smile still fighting to appear.

“I think it's that time of the month,” you finally said.

“Sure,” he rolled his eyes, knowing you were lying. He knew you had your period two weeks ago, cause he invited you to go to his house and you said no, cause you were on your period. He then sent you food and medicine. “Do you mind if I sleep shirtless?” he asked.

“No,” you said.

“Thanks,” he gave you a small smile, jumping on the bed. Tom felt the urge to hug you. He turned on his side, putting a hand on your waist, and leaning closer to you. You took a deep breath, and for a second he thought you were gonna say something. But instead, you turned your back to him. Tom felt his heart break a little. Those pictures really hurt you. He hurt you. “You know I would never hurt you on purpose,” he whispered. He was really sorry. He would give everything to go back in time, cancel that date and go talk to you, instead. Right now, if it was possible, he would take away all the sadness you were felling, and tell stupid stories until you laugh, that laugh that made you shrink your shoulders. Tom felt you relax in his arms, and your breath was calmer. He looked over your shoulder. You were sleeping. He hugged you tighter and kissed your neck.

Tom woke up with the noise of the door closing and the empty bed. He rubbed his eyes, sighing. He turned on the bed, looking for his phone. 3:07. He got up and left the room. The light on your kitchen was up, and he heard your muffled voice. “Who are you talking to?” he said, still a little confused from his sleep.

“Jesus!” you said, startled. “A warning would be good.”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled, feeling his dry throat. He picked the glass that was in your counter, filling it with water.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” you said.

“No problem. Are you okay?” he asked, drinking the water. He was worried about you.

“Great,” you said, but your voice was sad. Tom was tired, his mind was weird and he felt his heart hurt. He couldn't handle this anymore.

“Can you stop lying to me?” he said, not being able to control his voice or the sudden urge to solve things.

“I-I’m not lying,” you lied and he noticed you couldn't even look at him.

“Are you serious?” he put the glass on the counter and tried to control his head.

“I’m s-sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m good… everything is good… I’m sad because…” you started, and he felt stupid for thinking you would tell the truth. “I don’t know. Maybe PMS or whatever,” you blurted out.

He was just tired. He felt his eyes and his throat burning. “Okay,” he laughed dryly. “So, tell me something…” he needed to see the truth in your eyes. “Why were you looking at pictures of me with a girl that I went out yesterday?” his voice was low. You flinched, still avoiding his eyes. “Tell me, Y/N,” he got closer. “Why were you in your 'sadness ritual’ looking at those pics?” he didn't understand why you didn't tell him what was really in your head. All he wanted, was for you to tell the truth. “Do you have something to tell me?” he asked, leaning on the counter. “Anna thinks you do. And Haz too,” he said.

“Tom I…” you started. “I…” his heart was beating so fast. You cleared your throat, and Tom tried to keep himself calm. “I think you should go,” you finally said.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. “W-what?” he asked, confused.

“I really think you should go,” you repeated. “I need to be by myself tonight. I’m really not feeling okay and I need some time,” you pushed him away.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” he said, not hiding the hurt in his voice. You looked hurt too.

“Please…” you avoided his look.

“You know that this is not what you really want to say," he cried. He knew more than ever that you liked him. He didn't understand why you were doing this. "You know you’ll regret this. Don’t do this,” he pleaded, reaching for your arm but you pulled away. “Y/N.” he said.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” you raised your voice. “Really? What do you want me to say?” you were struggling not to cry. “Do you want me to tell you what I felt when I saw the pictures of you with a girl you invited out and didn’t tell me about, God knows why," you said with hurt in your voice. He hurt you, more than he could imagine. He clenched his jaw, feeling his body tensed up. "Do you want me to tell you why I felt so sad that I had to do my 'sadness ritual’ to keep myself from screaming at you or broking my computer?” your voice was bitter. His nails were hurting his palms. “You know what I have to tell you. You can pretend you don’t know, you can mess around all you want, but you know that you are not ready to hear what I have to say,” you rubbed your eyes, holding your tears. “What I don’t know is why are you doing this?” you asked sincerely. “Why are you here? It looks like you have a good thing," you said referring to the girl he went out. "Go enjoy it and… let me be, please.”

Tom was feeling his head pounding. He couldn't take it anymore. “You don’t see it, do you?” he finally said. His voice was low. He felt tears falling.

“What? What I don’t see?” you asked.

“I don’t wanna be with nobody else," he finally confessed. "I’m trying to tell you this for the last year and you keep ditching me," he thought about every time you said you hated his lifestyle. All the times you said you wanted a normal guy. "You don’t listen to me,” his voice was sad. “I love you. I want you. Please, don’t make me go,” he said, feeling that was his last chance.

“You can’t say that one day after you went on a date with another girl,” you were hurt, and he felt the guilt eating him alive.

“Please, Y/N. Don’t do this,” he reached for your arm, pulling you closer.

“I love you, but I need some time to think,” you said without looking at him, and he felt that was the worst that could happen.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #i’m not good at this and yet i’m doing it #tom holland fluff #fluff #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland scenario #tomhollandxreader #blurbs #tom holland angst #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x female reader #tom x y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom hollandxreader

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wingfics · 4 years ago

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HELLO !!! i am here and i wanted to know more about ff7r and crisis core !!! i have so many questions and they may be dumb but. i don't care. are they the same thing? are they different? when do sephiroth and genesis and angeal come in!!! do you have any headcanons or other details about them (or the game/games!!!) that you can share!!! i like hearing you talk about all these things and i like learning!!! -heavenshipped 💗

AAAAAAH LIV @heavenshipped YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD BUT IN A REALLY GOOD WAY!!! ok this uh. despite my best efforts is gonna get Really Long. i'm gonna probs put hcs in a separate post but even then i just KNOOOW this will b long despite that <3 I Just Have A Lot Of Thoughts And Love In Me Alright

SO!! some handy terms and abbreviations to know before we set off on backstory!

squeenix/squenix/squinx: square enix, the game developers

ff7: final fantasy 7! like last year or smth, squeenix put out the first part of the remake, aka ff7r :D the protag of the game is cloud and the primary antagonist is seph after he loses his mind thanks to an alien called jenova :/ angeal and gen r both canonically dead in this game, but i’m hoping for flashbacks ft them in the second part!

cc: crisis core, a prequel for ff7 that's about zack's time as a soldier! zack and cloud were friends and we get to see that in this game, along with that sweet sweet geal/seph/gen content, so it holds a special place in my heart for that reason :') side note: this game also makes me jealous of zack, bc aerith is set up as his love interest :^) we r Homosexualising

shinra: shinra electric power company, the company that founded and runs the city of midgar and the SOLDIER program

ASGZC: angeal, sephiroth, genesis, zack, and cloud, my BOYS,, can be shortened to ASG for the himbo holy trinity

SOLDIER: the name of the program AND the job title! angeal, seph, gen, zack, and i were first class soldiers before we did some treason bc shinra Sucks

mako: liquid energy within the planet that shinra uses to make power. it's. not a renewable resource, but they sure use it like one! it's also used to enhance the soldiers and gives them a sickass blue-green eyeglow

AIGHT let's-a go!! ⚠️ all of this is subject to change bc i am Just Like That! also the canonical timeline for ff7 is a mess so i made up my own dates ⚠️ so zack and i are bffs who met when we were 15 and had just moved to the centre of midgar in order to join the SOLDIER program! female soldiers r pretty uncommon and i wasn't too keen on living in the dorms, so after Just A Couple Months of knowing each other, zack and i got an apartment together. in hindsight we shouldn't have made it seven years, but somehow we didn't burn the place down ONCE. he's only Four Months Younger than me, so he complains whenever i call him little brother, but ik he doesn't actually mind :')

when zack was 16, angeal started mentoring him, which was the first time i met angeal! it's funny, i like. Saw seph and gen in passing, but never had any reason to talk to them ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ when i was 17, an accident on a mission revealed that i had a real talent with magic, and p much right after that, genesis took me on! while this was largely bc he's renowed for his skill w magic and thus was the best person to teach me, it was also in part to save me from becoming a lab rat, and i'm still grateful that he offered to do that.

zack met cloud first when we were 18 and was like "can we keep him" and i am immune to zack's puppy dog eyes but not to cloudlet's! so he basically became the third roommate ^_^ cloud also wanted to join soldier, so he thought zack and i had the coolest job Ever (AND we had met general sephiroth!!! holy fuck!!!)

despite appearances, seph is the youngest of ASG. by crisis core, angeal is 26, gen is 25, and seph, the babey of the family, is 23. (he's only a year older than me and zack... cloud's still only 20 tho lol rip) why YES, shinra does in fact use child soldiers! why do you think we did the treason! 😊😊 seph is ALSO not immune to cloud, specifically how persistent and sharp he is, and decided to mentor him when cloudlet was 18 (after being a child soldier himself, seph's got some... reservations abt the concept lmao)

gen and i were SOOOO awkward and stupid around one another at first!!!! because we were so close in age that i was like yeah you're teaching me but i have friends who are 20. we're still in the Being Friends gap. and he took a hot sec to make up his mind and be friends. he didn't catch feelings until i was like. 20, but it was a STEEP and precipitous drop lmao

angeal 🤝 me: being The Semi-Well Adjusted Ones responsible for keeping our two other idiot friends alive. fr we bonded over years' worth of keeping zack from running off cliffs and falling into manholes. he also taught me how to cook. zack jokingly referred to us as mom and dad for years. we were the most likely to get into disagreements but the least likely to actually argue bc neither of us like. enjoys arguments that much. angeal literally refused to let himself have AAAANY feelings for yours truly until i was 21, which i appreciate thank u king

learning that seph was A SINGLE YEAR OLDER THAN ME was the Biggest twist of 17 year old me's life on g-d. and i took that VERY personally ngl like i INSTANTLY decided that as another member of the "consistently mistaken for a much older Adult person" gang, we were GONNA bond!!! and we did!!! i'm largely responsible for his taste in music and i am VERY proud of this, tyvm. he's also kind of a swords nerd (his sword has a name...) and that rubbed off on me over time. if u asked him he couldn't rly tell u when he first had a crush on me, but i can tell u that the pining had become obvious by the time i was 19 and he was 20 uwu

AND BECAUSE I CAN NEVER LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE!! i threw in a one-sided bodyguard romance bc nobody can stop me. sorry tseng LMAO that's a whole separate spotify playlist tho so i will not include it here ffhshdgs if u would like to hear abt that feel free to ask tho!!

liv i LOVE u sm!!! thank u for letting me talk abt this i have simply been EXPLODING with thoughts, plans, and information about ff7!!!!! hopefully this was all vaguely coherent, bc i loved being able to share it with YOU!!!!! i didn't make that pink on purpose i just think my emotions got so strong that tumblr decided it had to be pink /j

#i lub u uwu #asks #heavenshipped #talkies #mine #hcs #my writing #glory and gore go hand in hand

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flvcr · 4 years ago

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— ( harry styles, twenty-five, cismale, he/him ) did you see ETIENNE FLUOR walking down main street earlier? you know who i’m talking about, they’re a POTTER / HOCKEY PLAYER. everybody in town says that they’re IDEALISTIC & INTUITIVE, but have a tendency to be UNPREDICTABLE & DESTRUCTIVE too. ETIENNE has been in town for THREE years. c'mon, they’re always requesting RUNNIN’ WITH THE DEVIL BY VAN HALEN at karaoke nights. well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! @westmerestarters

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is a LOT of info about my bb, etienne. ** insert clown emoji but make ‘em yee-haw ** if you’d like to plot you can reach me on here or at space cowboy#8536 on discord !! <33 v excited to interact with y’all and your bbs !!

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘

name: etienne ‘ marcel ‘ fluor.

nicknames: goes by marcel, only allowing very few people to call him etienne.

gender / pronouns : cismale / he, him.

age: twenty-five.

birthday: june 27th.

zodiac: cancer !!

orientation: pansexual / panromantic.

occupation: hockey player ( currently injured ) // potter ( for fun ) !!

languages spoken: french, english & italian.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

- PINTEREST - featuring his wardrobe, his home, his aesthetic, some character inspo and olive, his german shepard pup !!

- SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - what he is currently listening to !!

personality type: INFJ-T / THE ADVOCATE

moral alignment: chaotic good

style-wise: etienne is v stylish, but isn’t overly flashy by any means. he’s intuitive in the sense of what works and what doesn’t. willing to explore the latest wardrobe craze, but also just likes what he likes and likely won’t venture out unless pressed by another to do so. post coming soon for his wardrobe !!! they say that the cancer man’s clothing is selected to reflect “ sophistication over flash “ but kdgjn i’ll let ya’ll be the judge of that. he’s v much harry inspired clothing wardrobe, but also tones it down with some casual looks, especially when it comes to getting his hands dirty in creative aspects !! but can be a bit on the flashier side as well, especially w/ hockey press and what not !!

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

etienne ‘ marcel ’ fluor was born in montpellier, france to two lovely parents, theodore and estelle fluor ( both born in england themselves ) . he is the youngest of his siblings, having one older brother and an older sister, all of them being roughly two years apart. at the age of eight, his family relocated to montreal, canada as a result of a promotion his mother received, which at such a young age, etienne had no qualms with, despite his siblings’ uneasiness. upon moving to a new country at a young age, etienne truly found himself via escaping into various books and movies. often attempting to write his own and would force encourage his siblings to act his skits/plays out for his parents enjoyment. he continues to be very close with his parents and siblings - recently he taught his parents how to use facetime, so catch him face timing his family on sunday nights.

growing up, etienne also enjoyed playing all types of sports ( his parents signing him up hoping that he’d make friends as a result, which he did ). when it came down to it, athletic abilities-wise, there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t ‘ good ’ at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual / as well as a perfectionist. that competitive/perfectionist energy caused him to go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. overall, he’s very athletic, found alternating between various sports offered not only at school, but as well as through local clubs. ultimately, his love and appreciation for hockey swayed him and soon enough it became his sole focus. due to his perfectionist tendencies, etienne is very dedicated to his craft, he will spend hours practicing specific tricks and skills in order to be the best at what he does, which transcends past hockey and into, really, every aspect of his life.

throughout highschool ; etienne was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not, as well as take part in various clubs and sports ! just SOFT and sporty things. during this time, he joined the ontario hockey league and from there was eventually scouted out and recruited to the pittsburgh penguins as a defenseman at the age of eighteen - forgoing his parents desire for him to attend a university. although he enjoyed his time with pittsburgh, he was excited when the idea of being traded came up - eager to explore a new city and immerse himself in a new area.

trigger warning - injury, dislocation ( just in case !!!! ) however, he really didn’t enjoy new york ( hehe ), so he relocated to westmere soon after his initial arrival to nyc - finding a lot of comfort in living in a less populated area. he would commute during the hockey season to nyc, which to him wasn’t very far away, so this is where he’s been residing for the last three years !! however, in the last couple of weeks while training for the upcoming season my lil bb injured himself - not to get into tooooo much detail, i’ll just leave it at shoulder dislocation / joint separation due to a hard hit !! basically he’s out for this upcoming season, already having surgery completed, he’s currently healing for the next couple of months, allowing himself to fully experience that westmere fall !!!

overall, etienne can come off as a bit reserved, and distant whether that be a result of his untrusting nature of others, or simply unfamiliarity. it takes a bit of time before he feels comfortable to share his true opinion / commentary / only doing so when he feels secure to do so. he’s not necessarily unfriendly, just a bit distant / lost in his thoughts. which varies, as with most ppl ofc, upon person to person and his level of comfortability among them. despite his often lack of conversation, he abhors an uncomfortable silence to settle and will fill it with nonsense to simply avoid the feeling altogether. so, if you ever want to catch him rambling, just making him uncomfortable dkjfngdf. he definitely approaches most things with a bit of ‘ tough love ‘ . he doesn’t mind getting into a quarrel or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. etienne will tell others when they are fucking up, and if they are throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it, which explains his bout of reckless antics. he can come off as a know it all, when it comes to advice giving, but more so because he thinks he’s really good at analyzing others and situations they are in, not necessarily because he’s lived through them himself, he’s just rather intuitive and able to empathize quite easily with others despite his verbal admittance of it. when it comes down to this binches reckless bits, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all ( especially bc he’s definitely not sharing those feelings with the people around him ), therefore he’s willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels overwhelmed by numbness. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ mind ya business. but he’ll likely try to drag somebody else into it, and make it seem like it was their idea. but if he is truly comfortable with somebody, he walks a fine line of won’t stop talking, especially if it’s an interest of his, and comfortable silence.

_________________________

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 & 𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖘

he is a CANCER, therefore in this essay i will..... kidding but here’s some fun cancer info i saw that applies to my bb !! at first he appears to be wistful, sarcastic ( maybe a lil crabby ) , shy, distant and mysterious. this personality remains if he isn’t completely comfortable around somebody. but overall, that’s just his facade, his ‘smokescreen’ of sorts to scare off the world from his outwards persona. underneath that layer ( makes me think of shrek metaphor with onions // don’t mind me ), BUT he’s gentle, kind and affectionate ( if you manage to make it to that level * bell dings * ) !!! overall, etienne is a sensitive soul, a bit emotional although he’d rather d*e than show that to others. likely will internalize anything that can hurt his feelings / a low blow and will do something chaotic as a result later on bc of it. very polite, and a little worldly, he is truly the epitome of old-school gentlemanly manners. chivalry coming as a second nature to him !!

that was getting ramble-y, so continuing HERE. but when it comes to romance, as per the cancer man, the concept of love is a mystery, one that etienne is trying to attain. however, his shyness and innate distrust of others make it difficult for him to allow himself to fall in love. his guard is always up when it comes to his emotions, and it’ll take a bit of prodding before he’s willing to speak up on what’s desired from him. he’s v picky when it comes to finding the “ partner of his dreams “ - but he’s def willing to throw himself into the romance of the situation, i.e. buying flowers, riding white horses, and slaying metaphorical dragons. the traditional side means that he will shower his partner with thoughtful gifts, wine and dine them in the best restaurants, and try to grant their every wish. he will take the garbage out, fix that wobbly shelf, navigate on road trips, and kill more so trap and release bugs for his partner, and most important of all he will do it all without being asked. his loyalty and keen attention to the needs and wants of his potential partner. so basically, more so willing to showcase through actions than speak on it. it’s the little things, right ??!?!?! he def cherishes not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

prides himself on being able to make a mean cup of coffee, likely the worst person to watch a movie with bc he knows exactly how it’s going to end after only watching five minutes of it, he has a godawful sense of direction, will walk in circles for fifteen minutes before even raising a question about it/noticing ( but he refuses to acknowledge it. )

his house, car, workspace, junk drawer, closet….you name it - it’s organized, practically sparkling. often times arranged by color, and / or style. nothing is ever out of place, and if it is - there’s trouble brewing. but, more than anything, if he’s visiting somebody’s place and it’s messy, he will spend a solid thirty minutes picking everything up before doing whatever it is that was intended.

likes : reading, flowers, handwritten notes/letters, deep cleaning, baking, working on his pottery, watching the history channel and true crime docs and playing / watching hockey !!

dislikes : artichoke, clutter, sandals ( fkjgh ), unrealistic plotlines in movies &+ burnt coffee.

habits : likely has a severe caffeine addiction, although he’s now normalized having six cups of coffee throughout his day. he’s an early riser, no matter how little the amount of sleep he’s received, he’s always the first to rise - for his early morning runs !!

strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring, convincing, determined and passionate, decisive, altruistic, intuitive !!

weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, low-key always needs to have a cause / purpose, can burn out easily !!

overall : etienne truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his bit of chaotic energy / as well as his often points of getting lost in his thoughts. he won’t realize he’s been quiet for the last three hours unless it’s mentioned to him. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day. wahoo! his more reckless antics increase when he’s feeling a bit emotional !! but he’ll likely try and convince somebody to propose the idea so it’s not on him.

𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

he lives with sebastian !! with his commuting to nyc for the hockey season, he wanted somebody to be able to take care of his house / garden and what not, and thus, seb arrived.

he’s v into making ceramics, cups / bowls / vases / etc !! what began as a fun hobby to distract himself in the offseason became something that he truly enjoys. ( laughing about that scene in ghost BUT DKJFNG OKAY ) although he’s pretty low-key about it, you can catch him at the farmers market selling his creations !! some pictures of his work can be found on his pinterest board !!

he is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school and has no plans on eating seafood/meat ever again.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

he can play the drums !!

he collects vintage matchbooks and the stickers off of various fruits ( he puts them in a little notebook - can be found on his bookshelf ).

saves handwritten notes and letters from pals.

he loves to garden !!!! he has a specified rose shearing hat.

HE WANTS TO JOIN A BOOKCLUB PLEASE !!!!!!!! or at least have some casual moments of silence with another reading. plz and tysm.

to make things a bit simple, he has all of harry’s tattoos !! might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

i am so up for anything!! please accept this ramble of ideas thrown below. if you have any other ideas, lmk !!!! <3333 :’-) down to start from scratch and PLOT PLOT PLOT !

( 2 / 2 ) - BFFZ : the z for an added emphasis dkfjgnd. somebody who likely has a key to etienne’s house, they can enjoy one anothers company as well as the bouts of comfortable silence. you know how best friends are but kdjfngd still !! whether they are likeminded or polar opposites that just flow ~~ down for anything !! even a trio of sorts ?!

( 1 / 1 ) - RIDE OR DIE / CHAOTIC COMPANION : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although etienne may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around.

( 1 / 1 ) - GUARDIAN ANGEL / GOOD INFLUENCE : with etienne being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may be worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

( 1 / 1 ) - PARTY FRIEND : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embarrassing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details. likely the only person etienne confides in, simply bc he’s completely plastered.

( 1 / 1 ) - SIBLING-LIKE RELATIONSHIP : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. truly a pure content filled relationship.

okay quick mention, ENEMY PLOTS ?!?!?!?!?!? i would live for one. i can’t imagine etienne being hardcore nasty, but i’d like to see whatever version comes out for this. so let’s get it djfngjakdfg maybe they just hold different viewpoints on the world and what not and clash, anything really !!! v open !!

( 1 / 1 ) - MENTOR - etienne needs a bit of structured or unstructured guidance, all depending on what their deemed mentor is wanting to impart on him, a bit of wisdom or slight chaos. kdjfgn he’ll take anything !!

RANDOM LITTLE IDEAS : maybe they’ve heard of one another in town, but haven’t quite met yet! or maybe they see each other around all the time, but have yet to introduce themselves to one another but low-key maybe in some online forum for the town together ?! who knows some fun things kdjnfg i AM OPEN !

ooh maybe a slowburn of sorts ?! something spicy to wreck HIS and my life with. dkfjgn we can base this off of chemistry !!! :’-)

#( & ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ . )#westmereintro

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theexecutionerssong · 5 years ago

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I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb!

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

#gaelle parle #im so damn overwhelmed by all this #every time i want to quit you're there being so kind and i don't know what to do with myself #nice people tag

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soflsms · 6 years ago

Text

( sorry I'm late to the party im in pst so i was at work til now sdkfjl ) ANYWHO hi pals what the h*ck is up !! im chloe , im 21 , i use she / her pronouns & im a broke a$$ geography major !! i am SO excited to be her & get to rp with all y’all bc judging by your apps skdflj i fuck with u all . anywho ill stop my rambling , below the readmore is stuff about sofie & some wcs !!

trigger warning !! sex work , deportation , neglect , bad writing , alcoholism & substance abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN / SHE/HER / TWENTY TWO / BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at 8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a singer since relocating from harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name : sofie sydney almeda

nicknames : sof

age : twenty - two .

birthday : december eleventh .

zodiac : sagittarius .

gender : cisfemale ( though doesn’t vibe with the idea of being STRICTLY a WoMaN , she finds labels restrictive ) .

pronouns : she & her .

height : 5 ′ 6 ″ .

hometown : recife , brazil & harlem , new york city .

nationality : american , brazilian .

ethnicity : english , portuguese .

label(s) : the venereal , the bellwether , the opulent , the anaxiphile .

occupation : singer ( vc billie eilish ) .

quirks : fidgeting , allergic to shellfish , walks quickly , cracks knuckles , always wears her lucky ‘ st christopher ’ necklace from her grandmother , has a weird ability to talk herself out of trouble , can tie a cherry stem in her mouth , messy emotionally but on - point physically , vvv bad driver , loves a good theme party , can’t get through the day without multiple cups of coffee , refuses to wear glasses in public even though she’s quite far - sighted , always carries hand sanitizer , prefers rain over sunshine .

background

her mother , marcia almeda , was a recent graduate from secondary school who packed a backpack and went traveling !! before long tho she ended up knocked up by another backpacker , this one american , while they were having a fling in sydney ( hence sofie’s middle name lmao @ her mom’s humor ) . she flew back home when she found out & never told sofie’s father oops !! so marcia had sofie at home in recife just before her nineteenth birthday , and marcia was enthralled w little sofie . ofc she inherited her mother’s beauty ( i hc marcia looks like alessandra ambrosio bc hello ! ) & little sofie lived a happy early childhood life in her grandparents’ home in recife.

brazil isn’t the safest of countries & marcia didn’t want the same dangers she experienced growing up for her young daughter , so around sofie’s eighth birthday , her & her mother packed up and went on a ‘ trip ’ to new york city . joke’s on sofie , though - it wasn’t actually a trip , but rly they were trying to move there to find sofie’s father to confirm his paternity and get sofie american citizenship . it was proving more difficult than she thought , & marcia was quickly running out of money . with a face like hers , though , making money wasn’t too difficult , but it was time consuming . marcia found herself escorting older men in order to pay the bills , all the while leaving little sofie to fend for herself . some of her earliest memories are of strange men in their tiny apartment & sofie trying to block out their conversations with her lil cassette player hiding in the corner of her room . eventually , marcia was able to contact the father & they set up a meeting . sofie had gotten her hopes up that she would finally have a dad ( she got dressed up in her sunday best & everything bc reuniting her dad was a BIG deal ) , but the meeting ended up being a quick exchange of words , a mouth swab and a couple signatures . sofie never even learned his name , & this queued up a lifetime of daddy issues & distrust of men !!

while marcia was able to stay in america much longer than she was legally supposed to , eventually she was facing deportation , which meant lil sofie , with her citizenship finally confirmed , was put into the hands of her father who sent off to an american boarding school in new york without even contacting her . she would spend the summers in brazil with her mother or , as she got older , couch - surfing with different friends throughout the months . she started growing apart from her mother as she aged since she wasn’t going home every summer since she didn’t rly feel any connection to brazil . her grandfather had passed away & she only has faint memories grandmother , plus the city wasn’t at all familiar to her & she wasn’t practicing her portuguese after her mother returned to brazil .

through it all , music was proving to be the one constant in her life she could use to escape from reality . she had never done any training or classes , but she just liked singing along to whatever was on the radio & practicing on her own . she also found a passion for writing poetry which she later would realize was compatible with music . she would spend HOURS in the school library working on garage band lmfao bc she couldn’t afford her own laptop to produce music & her dad sent just enough money as he was legally supposed to . but she worked her lil tushy off & applied to a music academy in nyc & was rejected the first year ( DEVASTATING when mixed with her impostor syndrome & daddy issues ) but she practiced more & more & edned up getting accepted the next year . here , she worked on her vocal skills & music production , & started accumulating her own music & selling songs to music producers on the side for some ca$h money .

by the time she was 16 the state decided she was old / mature enough to live on her own so she got a TINY lil studio apartment in harlem where she’d grown up with her mum & she had friends who she’d grown up with . while it wasn’t the safest neighbourhood statistically sofie felt safe & just like one of the neighbourhood kids . it was the first time she genuinely felt like she belonged .

she was accepted on full scholarship to nyu & majored in music composition & vocal performance where she started finally feeling secure in herself & released her own music on soundcloud , quickly amassing a following & becoming an ‘ up & coming ‘ artist !! she was contacted by a scooter braun type guy who was interested in taking her on under his management so she dropped out of uni in her 2nd year ( bc tbh her grades in anything other than her music classes were v subpar ) . soon enough producers wanted to work with her & she was making enough that she didn’t have to sell her songs which she hated doing but had to pay the bills u know . oh & her vc is billie eilish bc ofc shes my queen go stream when we all fall asleep where do we go on spotify u won’t be disappointed

she also started getting into the partying scene here yikes !! it was a method for her to numb all her pain from her past & impostor syndrome & drown all that out in pills or tequila . it rly wasn’t healthy bc of how she would binge for a weekend then try to stay sober throughout the week but failing by about wednesday when she started to feel hollow . she wasn’t gonna be a one hit wonder & her mom sure as hell didn’t go through all that trouble just for sofie to be a nobody addict !! so she kept it together enough to start making big bucks & well ……. here she is :~)

personality

sofie blames it on her brazilian heritage but this bitch loves a party !! like shes the one who gets happy drunk at the pre then is the first on the dance floor then later falls out of the club & into some rando’s bed !! in the back of her mind she knows her drug & alcohol use is self - destructive but she figures shes allowed to let loose sometimes ( even if that ends up being most nights ) ; rly she’s just in denial bc she doesn’t want to change her ways & lose her identity !!

doesn’t put labels on her gender identity or sexual orientation . she finds them restrictive & useless for herself , labels would only be to satisfy others . she doesn’t see herself as 110% female either like she’s all about gender being a social construct / a spectrum ; some days she’ll get dolled up & wear heavy makeup & six inch heels , some days she’ll walk around in a bun & tracksuit & trainers . anyone who asks abt it will swiftly get 2 middle fingers in their face !! shes uncontrollable i swear

puts up a tough bad - ass front like billie does aksjdh like nah nothing can hurt me im bulletproof !! but is rly just kinda broken underneath . she doesn’t even let her closest friends know how hurting she is bc she doesn’t wanna burden them . she rly uses mmusic as an outlet tho so she’ll act totally tough then go to the studio & record all about her heartache . will NEVER let someone see her cry no matter how close she is with them . she rly sees it as a sign of weakness & shes in a much better place than she was 5 years ago so she figures she’s not ALLOWED to feel anything but grateful .

this bitch overthinks everything !! half the time she isn’t rly listenning to whoever bc she’s thinking about what they just said & if they’re mad with her . she’s that friend who will ask u to come over to formulate the perfect text response & fuss over it for hours . that being said , if someone talks shit abt anyone shes tight with , they’re gonna get it the next time she sees them . she isn’t about violence & would never get into a physical fight , but she’d work behind the scenes to ruin their life . but then she pretends like she rly doesn’t care though its obvious to those close to her that she cares way too much

has a very hard time expressing love bc she didn’t have much practice w it growing up . she was on her own most of her young life so even if her mom would tell her te amo she would be like uh huh gtg bye !!

tldr ; poor bitch w abandonment issues who was able to get out of it by channeling her energy into music & numbing the stress with pills or alcohol which she def still overuses but she doesn’t think its a problem !! yikeroony !! loves partying & having a good time , puts up a tough front but is rly soft underneath .

wanted (* = mw)

friends from high school !! - people sof stayed with in the summer bc she wasn’t going home to brazil .

friends from music school !! - she def felt like an outsider among the music prodigies at this school , & maybe this person was one of the ppl she actually connected with .

come out & play !! this person acts as a good influence to sofie . they’re level - headed & very grounding , & sofie doesn’t let it show but they’re really important to her . this is the Softest billie song ( prob bc it was for an ad skdj ) & they inspired it bc it’s how she feels when shes with them . they encourage her to be all that she can be & they believe in her , & they’re prob the one person sofie trusts the most which is SAYING something !!

*exes on bad terms !! - ok this would basically be based on all the songs billie has about a failed relationship / heartbreak !! shes got a bunch . im thnking maybe she was actually rly into them but had a hard time expressing it bc she’s never been good with emotional expression , & it led to the relationship feeling ?? unfaithful / disconnected ?? idk but she rly loved them & is still nursing that heartbreak . ( x , x , x )

the paris to her nicole !! - ok i f*cking hate that i said this but she’s nicole richie its true !! she needs a messy gal pal exactly like how paris & nicole are i stan them ( x , x , x )

roommate !! - bc of her abandonment issues she rly doesn’t like living alone so prob is the roomie who will sleep in their bed from time to time bc she doesn’t like being totally alone .

*when the party’s over !! - these two have been hooking up for a while no strings attached but recently feelings have been caught !! & now they still hook up quite often but sofie’s kinda harboring feelings & pretending all is well but she rly hopes they’ll just stay the night from time to time , & gets secretly heartbroken when she sees them flirting or leaving with someone else . they can also have feelings if u want that angst :~)

fwb !! - sofie is pretty transparent when it comes to what she wants & she’s got a bad habit of replacing dealing with problems with getting laid !! like u know in movies when the man opens his wallet and a row of like 20 pictures of different women fall out ?? that’s sof’s aesthetic . she’s got a bunch of fwb of all genders so bring me some pls

***mutual dislike / copycat !! self - explanatory , sofie thinks this person is copying her in everything she does & thinks its annoying af so she wrote a song abt it & hopes they indirectly get the message even if she drops not so subtle hints . skfldjh itd be messy pls !!

party buddies !! - someone who encourages sofies wild ways . when the two get together its usually to get drunk or high & thats the way they like it . sofie doesn’t feel judged by them as she does by others who don’t get obliterated at every social event ( what an idea !! ) so she rly values them , even if she doesn’t express it

** 8 !! - someone who kinda reluctantly got into a relationship with sofie out of maybe a desire to save her from herself ?? like u know that good girl bad boy trope where the girl tries to save the boy from whatever he’s struggling with ? that’s them but the roles are just reversed - good guy , bad girl . it was kinda just filled w her being self - destructive & confiding in him but not rly reciprocating the care so he became kinda distant bc of it . tbh she prob knew he was too good for her but had a sliver of hope he wouldn’t leave her even tho eventually she became too much for him . ( lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence !! this person can tell that her beahvior is unhealthy & are trying to gently nudge her abt it . she can tell what they’re doing but her addict brain is telling her its invasive & threatening so shes not the fondest of this person , but deep down she really appreciates them

music buddies !! these two are both in the music industry & rather than it being competitive , they’ve developed a friendship from it & enjoy working together .

* someone sofie ghostwrites for !! for whatever reason , this muse doesn’t write their own songs & instead pays sofie to write them for them . she doesn’t love it but its a way to make money & give away songs she doesn’t feel attached to but are worth something . maybe its tense bc they claim the songs as their own & sofie doesn’t like it , this could be ~escandolo~ later !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok tea this song is the one that broke her into the industry . she produced it all herself & just relased it to her soundcloud thinking it wouldn’t rly go anyway but !! joke’s on yung sofie . essentially he thought the relationship was going well , she’d met his family & they rly liked her but !! sof was feeling kinda smothered & told herself he was lying & cheating on her n shit so she wrote a song about it !! & once it was starting to get attention he was like ….. uhhh what the fuck & she was like haha sorry !! so they broke up & ever since its been animosity , but she realizes she fucked up but it launched her career so she doesn’t know whether to keep up the idgaf i hurt you or apologize .

* ex - friends !! ok pls i have this hc where sofie got way too high one night & slept with this person’s dad or sibling or smth !! u know that line in ‘ bad guy ’ where she goes ‘ might seduce your dad type ? ’ ya that’s got sofie written ALL over it !! & now they’re not friends bc sofie can’t keep it in her pants but both sides kinda misses the other but are too stubborn to say anything :~(

exes from college / high school !! - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely !! - i need a male voice for khalid’s part in lovely bc i need this song in my life bc its a whole ass sofie mood ok .

i’ve also got a wanted connections tag linked HERE dksfj there's not much in it yet but feel free to check it out . ok i love y'all

#glitterati.intro #excited to be here :~)

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riceiyu · 5 years ago

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Whats ur fave bands name. What kinda music do they do. Whos ur fave member. How many albums do they have. One of ur fave songs. Have you seen them live, do you want to.

Ahhhh thanks so much for asking! This ask is definetly gonna get long lol.

I can’t pick just one band so i’m gonna answer these for the ones i switch between constantly! I also can’t pick one song im so sorry hsfjkdhkjfhds

I will however answer that last question first. I have only been to one concert in my life and that was back when I was a christian and my fave band was The NewsBoys. My great uncle got me and him backstage passes since they were his faves too (although this was after Peter Furler left *cri*). I DO want to see all of these bands in concert though! if I had been able to get a couple hundred bucks together before February I would have seen ONE OK ROCK in minnesota but they were sold out by the time I had money. ofc with my allergies and the fact my #1 anxiety trigger is loud noises, concerts seem impossible, but someday I hope to go to one again.

NOW ONTO THE BANDS!

Frederic!

Jpop/rock??? that has a whole bunch of repetition and cool stimmy rhythms! I think I read somewhere where Kenji Mihara said his goal was to showcase the unique rhythm of the Japanese language, which I think they’re doing wonderfully!

My favorite member is Koji Mihara! He’s Kenji (the lead singer/guitarist)’s twin brother! Koji plays bass guitar and background vocals. Sometimes he does lead vocals and those songs are always my favorite, his voice is very unique! He and his brother dont really look alike despite being twins. I suppose that has a lot to do with Koji’s facial hair.

I think they have 5 albums? Frederhythm2 just came out a few months ago (insert Peggle 2 gif here). Some of the songs are really good but I think I prefer Oddloop and Ototune! although This was the first album I got to see the marketting of, and seeing Koji’s cool as hell graphic designs and animation for each of the songs was super neat!

One of my absolute faves is Moe Kaeru Kisen (which I just posted) it’s one where Koji leads!!! another one I adore, which has Kenji as the lead, is Machigaisagashi No Kuni. The weird laugh in the chorus is very good and stimmy don’t @ me

THE ORAL CIGARETTES (this post is no longer searchable bc I typed oral lmao. people have to tag it without spaces or it doesn’t show up in tags)

Jrock music that is??? Heavy in guitar I guess. A lot of the songs are darker and have some uhhh depressive lyrics (my fave song is probably about suicide hhhhh). not all of them are depressive though! There’s one that was used for?? that… one anime… with the blue haired god. Noragami???? maybe? idk the song is Kyouran HEY KIDS!! and its a BOP

Takuya Yamanaka! He’s the lead singer and he plays guitar and I’ve seen pics on insta of live shows where he plays a tamborine rather than guitar (which is so valid like. I can’t imagine rapping Katannakoto while playing guitar and one of their latest songs has him only playing tamborine) I used his hair as inspiration when I lopped mine off. I’ve also drawn him a few times, one very recently too. He’s the one (1) person I draw realistically anymore lmao/ ANYWAY his voice is very good

They have 4 albums! The lates one, Kisses and Kills, came out in August but wasn’t available on Spotify until this month so I’ve been listening to that obsessively. I like most of their albums equally so I can’t say I have a fave!

Kattannakoto! it’s the song that’s vaguely about suicide…. I also ADORE ( i was gonna say LOVE but thats a name of a song and could be confusing LMAO) WARWARWAR soooo much along with uh…Man and Daimaou Sanjyo…. all these songs are good

ONE OK ROCK

Basic Rock but despite being a Japanese band, they rarely write Japanese songs anymore. Seeing the transition from all Japanese to all english is very interesting, and Taka has gotten very good at English! It’s cool hearing the change! Side note, but sometimes their songs have screaming and its :( usually its just a little and I can ignore it but theres a couple songs thats entirely Taka screaming and they make me panic LOL

I am. Less invested in the band members here. I rly like Takahiro Moriuchi (Taka, vocalist) bc his face reminds me of an OC of mine lmao. Fen’s hairstyles have both been based off of him lol

8! their last one was Eye Of The Storm and all the songs are very good! I had drifted away from them prior to hearing unforgettable (I had some of the lyrics as my title for awhile, part of “Sacrifice but it’s worth the price for a moment that lives on, Bury me in a melody to remember when I’m gone”)

kimishidai ressha is… so good…. it’s just a bop boys! ALSO American Girls! when I sing it it becomes gay so.... yeah.

I’m learning Wherever You are on my guitar too :D I love this band A LOT like so many of their songs are uplifting and inspiring! like Stand Out Fit In, Push Back, We Are, Giants, and a dozen other’s are just inspiring songs about rebelling and making the world better for future generations. These songs resonate A Lot with me considering the current political climate haha.....

OH ALSO BOMBS AWAY IS GOOD im sorry this band is incredible

good goodbye is good too im sorry im listening to them and good songs keep coming up hhhhh

They’ve also collabed with some popular english artists dsjfldj like. 5 seconds of Summer, Avril Lavigne, and they toured with Ed Sheeran for awhile there... WILD

KENSHI YONEZU / hachi

not. Technically a band but his music is Funky and Weird and I love how eerie some of it is. naturally Kenshi is my fave lmfao

he has 5 albums I think? Diorama is my fave with BOOTLEG a close second

Flamingo, Loser, Lemon, Shunra are good less creepy ones. My fave eerie boy is probably Black Sheep.... Cranberry and Pancake is a bop too. MAD HEAD LOVE is AMAZING but it’s not on Spotify so I never listen to it. It’s like the perfect mix of eerie and normie lmao... dont talk to me about Peace Sign, it’s only so high on his top songs list because fo BNHA and really it’s not that good....

I have less commentary on him bc his songs are just funky little creepy boys. He’s an artist too though so I HIGHLY suggest looking at some of his drawn MV ( especially since his live action ones just feature him moving unnaturally for 4 minutes... )

Honorable mention bands: BRADIO, Sukima Switch*, Eve, SID, Hello Sleepwalkers

* I don’t listen to them anymore since I over listened to them during my worst depressive episode so many of their songs make me cry. I’m trying to ease back into them again since their music is SO GOOD. Golden Time Lover is the # 1 that I CAN listen to, but only barely and it does make me sad lmao. It’s and FMAB opening so you KNOW it’s good

#Anon-nonA #Rice Answers #music #rice rambles #long post #yeehaw i cant conrtrol the ramble when it comes to music.....#if you actually read this and end up listening to any of these bands id die for you #frederic and TOC are both under the same record label #and I think OOR was under that label for awhile too...

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toogoodmusic · 3 years ago

Audio

THE TOO GOOD TEN with CALICO

When the COVID-19 pandemic struck in March of 2020, four longtime friends, Tony Cecchetti, Chris Couto, JeanSe Le Doujet and Will Lloyd decided to use the lockdown to come together to create the Folk-Americana band CALICO. It all begin with Tony who had decided to find time between his six-month-old daughter’s sleep schedule to record several of the songs he had been sitting on. Chris joined in next - who Tony had played live music with to yoga classes in Squamish, BC - who produced the songs and added percussion. Shortly after JeanSe and Will were added to the mix to finish off with their additions of bass and electric guitar respectively. The result was the debut album, Under A Sudden Sun that came together with each musician being able to add their own unique style with no direct guidance and all while being completely separated geographically. Under A Sudden Sun resonates as an introspective and refreshing view on nostalgia, life and love. The band already has their second album recorded and while they continue to already work on their third album, we’ve been lucky enough to have Tony take on the latest Too Good Ten interview. Check out the full interview below to learn more about the album, how they felt about getting a song playlisted on Spotify, how Tony’s mom came to paint the album cover, his biggest pandemic learnings and so much more.

The Too Good Ten. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good.

1. Now you guys all started making music during the pandemic in early 2020. Describe how starting a band in the middle of pandemic has been? What were the pros and cons of doing so?

TONY [on behalf of CALICO]: Starting a band during the pandemic had many moving parts. In some ways, CALICO would never have been a thing if it wasn’t for the pandemic. When the world shut down and we were all stuck at home we had the time to do things we may of never had the time to do given the normal pace of life. We could record and really dive into the songs that I had written over the years. The pandemic allowed for us to do that. It was our silver lining during the incredibly difficult time. That said, we also didn’t get the opportunity to play together in the same room until this summer, in late July of 2021, just before we released, Under a Sudden Sun. We started CALICO in March of 2020, so that’s a really long time to not get together. We did a good job Zooming and creating music from afar but it wasn’t easy and it lacked the energy that bandmates bring to a room. All in all it was an incredible experience and is definitely a large part of the backstory of our band.

2. Congrats on the release of your debut album, Under A Sudden Sun! What was it like putting this together? What was the most personal song to release off the album?

T/C: Thank you so much! We couldn’t be more excited. It’s been amazing to put music out and get so much support back from our community. The reaction has been above and beyond our expectations. Given that we all recorded our parts from different locations, putting together the album had a lot of components. The process for each song was more or less the same. I recorded vocals and rhythm guitar from home. That was then sent off to Chris Couto, who recorded percussion/drums. That was then sent off to JeanSe Le Doujet, who recorded bass. And lastly, sent off to Will Lloyd who recorded lead guitar. Chris Couto produced the album and put an incredible amount of time into making sure each song sounded like we were in playing in the same room.

The most personal song off the album is “Oh My Mind.” The song is about searching for something that has yet to be fulfilled. In many ways it represents the album as a whole. I always wanted to play and make music. The pandemic allowed me to start a musical journey, with close friends, that seemed unattainable prior to. “Oh My Mind” is about putting one foot in front of the other, exploring, and searching for something that you know is out there, you just haven’t found it yet.

3. Tony – your mom actually painted the cover for the album. What kind of direction did you give her for the album cover? Were there other versions of the album?

T/C: Yes, my mom painted the album cover. It is something I am very proud of that my mom could be a part of it. I did give her an idea but she had complete creative freedom to take that idea and run with it. I loved wandering the hills of Berkeley, CA when I grew up. Hills that my mom knows well and still hikes regularly. The initial vision was to capture that first light of day when the sun just peaks over the hills. It is a special moment. My mom did a wonderful job capturing it. I have the original painting at my house. I have yet to frame it but will soon and will treasure it for a long time.

4. As mentioned, the title of the album is named after “that magical moment when the first light of the day peaks out from behind the hills.” What is so enticing about that moment that it inspired the name of the debut album? Which song off the album most encompasses that “tranquil and meditative” moment?

T/C: One of my favorite things to do as a kid was get up at the break of dawn and go fishing. We had reservoirs in the Berkeley Hills where I would go fish. When I was too young to drive, one of my moms would take me. When I became old enough to drive I would go with my closest friends and my sister. To this day, fishing at those lakes is one of the fondest memories I have of growing up in the Bay Area. We would sit for hours in our lounge chairs, look out at the beautiful scenery, and wait for a bite. It was so peaceful and a wonderful place to connect with myself and my favorite people.

“A Little Light,” which is the first song of the album, best described that tranquil and meditative moment. It is about the importance of light in our lives and was first written as a poem about spending time in those hills as a kid.

5. “My Darlin’” off the album made it onto your first official Spotify playlist – Renegade Folk. Where were you when you found that out? What does it mean as an artist to make it onto an official Spotify playlist?

T/C: I got an email from Spotify a couple days after we released, “My Darlin’.” I was sitting at home feeding my 2 year old daughter breakfast. I was so excited. For me, it was a testament that we had made music that was quality enough to be grouped with some great names in the Folk world. I was very proud of everyone in the band. It means a lot to be recognized. I don’t think that Spotify is the be all end all but it’s important to be on that platform. Most people listen to and find new music there nowadays. I still think we have a long way to go. We have yet to play our first show and have a lot of things we want to achieve. We believe we have potential to write more music that moves people and plan to do so.

6. Although the band started early 2020, you guys only recently got together in person to play songs and take band photos. What was that moment like – finally being all together and playing the songs live after over a year of working on them? Do you think the music would’ve sounded any different if you had all been in the same room instead of remote for the entire process?

T/C: It was an incredible feeling to watch the guys get off the ferry in Victoria, BC. Chris Couto had come out a few days early to settle in and do some prep for our recording session. Will and JeanSe came in on the Friday Night ferry and had to leave on Sunday morning. We didn’t have much time but we made the most of it. The four of us have been friends for years long before CALICO was a thing. Chris, Will, and JeanSe have all played in other bands together. When we all lived in Vancouver I would go hang out and watch them play. I always thought I had the most talented friends. They are incredible musicians and wonderful people.

I do think there would have been some differences if we had all been in the same room. I am not sure how much that would come through with the sound but definitely with the energy in the room. There is an irreplaceable dynamic that is created when musicians physically play together. It’s a vibe thing. I will say that recording from afar had immense perks, too. Everyone had complete creative freedom with their individual parts. What you hear as a final product is what four musicians felt added most to each song. There was little guidance. With everyone recording from afar, we could do it on our own time, when we felt we played best. There wasn’t the pressure of doing it at a specific time in the recording studio.

7. What is the main thing you hope listeners take away from your music?

T/C: I hope that you all resonate with the stories that we share. Most of the songs began as poems and grew from there. They are snippets of our lives that bring us back to particular memories. My hope is that the music can do similar things for you. That you find some inner peace listening to the music and that, maybe when the album has finished, you’re brought back to a place that you think of fondly.

8. For you, what was the biggest learning from this past year and a half in quarantine/pandemic?

T/C: I learned to slow down and treasure the small things. The pandemic was a time to be introspective. I gained insights about myself, my ambitions and pursuits that I had never given space for. There was also immense struggle that we all went through. The virus was one thing but the loss of community was a whole other. Losing connection with loved ones was difficult. I had never felt so far from those I cared about. All in all I think it was a time to reflect on what’s important and begin to prioritize that. The pandemic really highlighted the fragility of this life.

9. If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

T/C: If I could listen to 5 artists for the rest of my life it would have to be Bob Dylan, The War on Drugs, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, The Beatles, and The Highwomen.

10. What’s the rest of 2021 and early 2022 look like for CALICO?

T/C: We will continue writing and hopefully can start playing some live shows soon. Now that shows are happening again we plan to get our foot in the door. That might not happen until next summer but we are really excited about the idea and await the opportunity. We have recorded our second album, that will be released in 2022, and are working on our third album currently. Stay tuned for more music and we really look forward to playing live for you all one day. Thank so much for checking us out and giving our music a listen.

Excited to have had Tony from CALICO join for the latest Too Good Ten Interview! Be sure to check out all their socials and music below and be on the look out for those upcoming shows and upcoming second album.

SOCIAL LINKS:

Facebook

Instagram

Website

MUSIC:

Spotify

YouTube

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smireyac · 4 years ago

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fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

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circeswife · 7 years ago

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October 2006, 8 years old-- My mom brings home a copy of the self-titled album from the library and we listen to the songs together. I’m 8 so I don’t understand all of it yet, but I know instantly that I love it. I know Taylor is young, and I’m awed that she’s accomplished so much already. I’ve already decided I want to be like her when I grow up. At that age, I'm obsessed with Eragon and dragons and swords, and would dance around my room with a ruler (my sword, obviously) and pretend I was battling with evil kings. The self-titled was my soundtrack.

September 2008, 10 years old-- I’ve just started 5th grade and my alarm goes off in the morning for school and the radio is playing. A brand new song starts (Love Story), and I don’t know it yet, but I can tell I’m going to love it. Later I found out the song was by Taylor and I’m ecstatic because that means there’s new music coming. The very next year in 6th grade in my chorus class, we have karaoke Fridays every week and from day 1 I know I want to sing Love Story. Later in the year there’s a Karaoke Concert and students Ms. Stanley chooses get to perform. I sing Love Story and the whole night I’m all smiles. (A few years later, my grandfather is in a Veterans Affairs nursing home in Richmond, VA. They hold holiday dinners for the veterans and their families. At one of the Thanksgiving dinners, there’s a DJ who is having people do karaoke if they want. My dad walks up with me and asks the man if he has Taylor Swift songs. He says he does, and I sing Love Story again.) The album comes out a few months later and Change quickly becomes my new dragon fighting anthem.

October 2010, 12 years old-- I’m introduced to Speak Now the same way I am Fearless, with hearing Mine on the radio before school. By then, I’m old enough to recognize it as a Taylor Swift song without needing to be told. When I learn that Taylor wrote every single song on the album, I love her even more. I’m not in chorus anymore, but there are new electives at my middle school, and one of them is karaoke. I take it as many times as possible (they only lasted a quarter and then you were supposed to sign up for different things). My friends and I make a goal to sing as many Taylor Swift songs as we possibly can (we get through quite a lot). I love every single song on the album, but I’ll always have a soft spot for Long Live (the dragons, again). My dad hears Haunted, and for the first time he starts to like Taylor’s music, too, not just because I do.

October 2012, 14 years old-- I’m a freshman in high school and I’ve spent a lot of the last few months listening to Taylor’s first 2 albums again. I’m at a point in my life where I’ve realized I don’t have very many close friends (maybe 1). My group of friends from middle school fell apart all too quickly when high school began and I’m not sure where to sit at lunch or who to talk to. I latch onto Red and all its songs because at this point, Taylor’s music has been in my life for a while and I almost consider it a friend. I feel weirdly passionate about We Are Never Getting Back Together, considering I’ve never been in a relationship. All Too Well is beautiful and breaks my heart every time I hear it (which is why I listen to it a LOT). My dad decides his favorite song is The Moment I Knew off of the bonus cd, and to this day it still is. I’m on the swim team at school, and one of the meets is fairly far away and my parents come to it and instead of riding home on the bus with the team, I ride home with them and we listen to the album the whole way home. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pick a definitive favorite Taylor Swift song, but as of right now in my life, Red is my favorite album.

October 2014, 16 years old-- 1989 is released and I’m nervous because it’s a different style of music this time around, but I buy it anyways because it’s Taylor Swift and she’s never let me down before. I love it. Every time I listen to the songs, I notice something new about them and find something new to love. At this point in my life, I’ve long since realized I want to be a writer and this album reminds me that Taylor Swift was one of my first inspirations since she writes most of her songs. At Christmas, my parents surprise me with concert tickets to see the 1989 world tour in D.C. July 13th. I have bronchitis that Christmas and a little out of it tbh so my reaction was definitely a bit more laid back than it normally would’ve been.

July 13th 2015, 17 years old-- This is the summer I started my job as a coach on my long time swim team. My coworkers and my swimmers have heard a lot of my excitement about the concert. It finally rolls around and it was and still is the best day of my life. I was up in the stands of Nats park with my mom and dad dancing and screaming along lyrics with people I’d never seen before and it was such a surreal experience. It was the first concert I’d ever been to, not just my first Taylor concert. I think I cried at least 3 times. I wanted to live in that moment forever. The next day, I went to swim practice/work despite getting less than 4 hours of sleep, and BOY did I talk about it all day to my swimmers.

Summer 2017, 19 years old-- This was the first summer I was too old to swim on the team, so this year I’m just a coach. One of the lifeguards decided to play from Taylor Swift’s spotify a couple times, and every time a song came on, my swimmers knew I was gonna be dancing and singing as loud as I could. One day a different lifeguard was playing music so there wasn’t any Taylor in the playlist, and one of the parents asked me about it. At the end of the season all the coaches got thank you cards that the swimmers signed and 3 different people signed mine as Taylor Swift (it was adorable and its on my insta @llyceab).

Taylor’s music has been a part of my life for a long time, longer than the swim team I now coach for. Her music always seems to fit my life like a soundtrack, and its been like a friend to me. Idk if she’ll ever see this, I just wanted to say it bc as an artist and as a person, she’s so important to me. I’m at a point in my life where I’m starting to push back against the people who aren’t really there for me and become who I want to be. LWYMMD inspires me to not take crap from anyone and be myself unapologetic about it.

@taylorswift

#taylor swift #me #personal #long post

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