#I would read and reread the books like they were literally on a loop

[apocketfullofmuses]

(( I decided to rewatch all the Twi/light movies, and I'm done now but like, I know people (sometimes rightly) shit on them and the books, but I really miss the feels I had back then. ))

[breaniebree]

Hi.

I am so fucking sorry if this is weird.

But I stumbled across ASC in one of my old SD cards and couldn’t resist seeing if you’d actually managed to finish that giant story - and apparently you did. Kudos to you.

When I first read ASC I was in a seriously (Siriusly, because that joke is obligatory at this point) bad place. COVID was still in its early stages, I was newly thirteen and had no idea who I was, my anxiety had reached a new high and my OCD ruled my life. I was literally scared to get out of bed and half the time I wouldn’t. I sanitized everything on sight and then some, and it still wasn’t enough to get rid of the crawling feeling inside me. I can now admit that I was depressed. And on top of that I was going through an identity/gender crisis and questioning my sexuality for the first time in my life, hating myself while at it - being an ally is one thing, but being an actual member of the LGBTQ+ community is quite another, especially when you live in an country where being gay isn’t even an option and your mother is homophobic af. Basically I was majorly fucked up.

ASC wasn’t some huge life-changing thing. It was just a random fanfic I found while scrolling through HP tags. I was intrigued, mostly, at this monster of a fic that was over two hundred chapters long, and since I was looking for free books at the time, I gave it a try. Finished the first thirty or so chapters in one sitting. And, once I got over my shock at the sex scenes (I’d never even been on a date and honestly my sexual awakening was partially triggered by this - I was like, ‘If the fact that these people shagged for hours straight, and my only concern is how possible it is to manage that position for any length of time, then I’m probably going to have to sit myself down for a soul-search’) and violent scenes (your mind is a terrifying place and I am sincerely thankful you aren’t planning world domination just yet) I was hooked.

I did comment every now and then, under varying pseudonyms - SavvySpirit was one, obviously. WarrioroftheWolves was another (thirteen-year-old me was obsessed with large predators, mainly since they were everything I wasn’t) and Raindrops & Flowers is quite possibly my least original name ever. There were a few other one-time names I can’t recall. But it was a brief respite in the craziness of ’20 and most of all it was something that was mine - to hold close to my heart, to hate when plot lines threw me for a loop, to cry over and giggle over and laugh over. I printed out the entire thing using my pocket money, in minuscule script and fitting eight pages per sheet, both sides. I think I reread that story at least twice a month - entire thing, back to back as I waited for the next time my parents would let me use the computer for longer than three minutes. I got attached to characters I barely gave second glances to. Viktor. Pansy. Dean. Padma. Mandy. Theo. Him especially, since I relate so much to him it almost hurts to see him hurt.

I stuck with ASC until around the time when Finn died and Ginny was put under bloodlust. I don’t remember exactly why I stopped checking for updates - maybe it was just a lack of time, maybe it was my refilling schedule coupled with my fear of humans. Maybe it was something deeper, who knows. But I stopped at one point and just reread (imo) the best bits every now and then.

I guess, story-wise, things got a little too real too fast for me. I’d known Cedric and Sirius was going to die, and Viktor’s death wasn’t as much of a shock as Finn’s was - because it was so unexpected and so out of the blue (I cried and screamed and cursed your name for thirty minutes straight after that last mo grá. Seriously, Breanie? You just had to go and ruin things just when they were getting good? I was looking forward to seeing Finn’s POV, and seeing them mature and fight over everything from Finn’s overprotectiveness coupled with Theo’s independence to shopping problems and flavours of ice cream, to see them go through troubles and overcome them both individually and as a couple. I was so freaking excited to see more of Tara and your take on a fairy realm, to see how Finn’s pseudo-immortality and Theo’s past demons would come into play. I wanted so much more development on Finn’s character, his flaws and quirks, his skeletons in the closet since we’d never really had his POV. I even had hopes of a storyline where Voldemort tries to get into Tara(because of the so-called immortality, duh) and gets horribly burned in the process. I wanted a Feo love child, dammit(Ciara would be such a cool aunt! And with the Weasleys and Blaise/Draco on one side of the family and Tiernan and the royal court on the other than kid would be the best protected, most spoilt kid in existence). I had hopes, Breanie. Dreams. And you destroyed them all with that single scene.) and so. Fucking. Tragic. And like ten chapters later you put Ginny under bloodlust where she hates Harry and wants to kill him (this was a seriously fucked up idea and I applaud your imagination. And sincerely hope you never become a investigator, because that would be scary.) and I read this bit with my heart in my throat because even if I don’t really like book or movie Hinny(Ginny seems too much of a side character and has so little personality, as I’m sure you know) but I adore fandom Hinny and YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN YET ANOTHER OF MY FAVOURITE SHIPS IN THIS FIC DAMMIT but I chickened out and never read past that to see if she got cured. She did, right? She’s not dying slowly from poison in her bloodstream or anything? Right? Don’t correct me if I’m wrong though, I prefer to remain oblivious and happy in a world where nobody dies and everybody gets therapy.

But anyway, the point of me spilling my life story to you here was to thank you. You may not have intentionally made this fic for me, but it was a lot more effective than most of my therapy sessions since I could get my thoughts and feelings out in a roundabout way. ASC may not be a major part of my life currently, but it’s still a large part of who I am, and I am indebted to you for making this safe space. I turned fifteen and came out as panromantic/asexual. I turned sixteen and came out as a demigirl. I have career aspirations and I’m actually working on them. I’m working on long-term plans, which I never could’ve imagined having three years ago. And though I lost hearing in one ear last month, I didn’t consider ending things, not even once. Still haven’t. I have midterms but I’m not stressing myself to the max over them, and I actually have a social life now. And it’s not all completely thanks to you, but there is still a large part of my sanity that owes itself entirely to the fanfiction writers of 2020. And a slice of that pie is yours. So - thank you. For everything. You’re a truly gifted writer.

And before I forget - does Theo like, ever get closure? Hypothetically the fae have realm glasses. Which might come into use. Can fae get reborn? Just asking.

And does Zee ever date again? Like - I know Sirius was her person, but when the kids get older and she grows older…

One more question: how does someone like Delta turn out to be evil?! She was so freaking supportive when Hermione was researching human rights. Another question: Blaise survives, right? Because that guy is a riot. And another: I reread chapters 200-272 for this and realized that Finn just randomly carries around a pair of golden handcuffs? Like what was the story behind that. Did he get cornered one day and decide that ‘henceforth, I shall carry handcuffs’? And Crouch’s ‘wives’…do Millie and Hestia ever escape? My last random question: whatever happened to Arnold the Pygmy Puff?

Also is there any way I can send you a virtual fruit basket?

Hi, @savvyspirit

Wow! Thank you very much for sharing so much for me. I'm honoured my story had such a profound impact on you personally. Good for you for being honest and open with yourself about who you are. Nothing is more important. Thank you so much for sharing that my story helped you in a roundabout way. That's very cool to hear.

I understand that the story took a darker turn and did get too real too fast, but I do hope you go back to it now that it's complete and now that I'm finishing up the trilogy. Harry and Ginny are definitely getting their happy ending, that I can promise.

Finn was an important part of Theo's life and an important part of the story, but unfortunately he wasn't who Theo was meant to spend his life with. That's someone else and if you keep reading, I promise you'll see him much happier than he ever was with Finn. Yes, he does get closure. As to Zee, well... yes, she does find love (you have to keep reading to find out). Delta aka Belladonna was a lot of fun to have be evil the whole time and you learn more about her how and why as the story goes on. Blaise does survive and we get to know more about him too. Finn carried around handcuffs because he was part of the Royal Guard of Tara. Millie and Hestia do survive. Arnold is still around, promise.

Ha, as to a virtual fruit basket -- I'll take those in story reviews on Ao3 or ff.net please and thanks.

Thank you very much for sharing this with me and I sincerely hope you delve back into the world of ASC because I really do think it's worth it. Thank you!

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

3 thing ask:

2, 6, 11, 33, 34, 37

Three movies you have rewatched many times

1. Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron. I went through a phase when I was nine/ten where I’d rewatch this movie multiple times a week for… like a year 😅

2. Bolt. Underrated movie!! This was another one I looped when I was younger, and I tried writing a fanfic about it when I was eleven maybe but gave up after one page or something lol

3. The Good Dinosaur. Yet another one I looped when I was younger :) I saw this one in theaters too!!

I went through a major animation phase when I was 9-13. All these + How To Train Your Dragon were pretty much all I watched aksgaksgaksg

I still have all my animash edits saved :) Perhaps I will share them someday…

Three characters that inspire you

Ooh man, hmm…

1. Tommy (DSMP). This answer seems silly at first, but I’m always touched by how much and how hard he tries. He tries so hard to be good, and to help people, and to never give up on people, and it’s amazing. It’s rare that I find characters who are so, for lack of better words, good. He’s just a really good kid.

He also loves most everything he touches, and he loves hard. He loves so hard that it’s impossible to not see it, to not feel it, to not be changed by it, and that’s freaking powerful.

(I’m really having to Think about this question, because while I like a bunch of characters, I’m not often inspired by those characters)

2. Zelda (BOTW/TOTK). LOOK AT ME PICKING A CHARACTER FROM A VIDEO GAME!!! WOO!!!

If I had to describe Zelda in one word, I’d choose “selfless”. So, so selfless. It’s crazy.

The things she does for her kingdom and for Link and for the things she cares about is near-unmatched; she’ll do hard things for the good of others, and I mean really hard things. Heartbreaking, painful, scary things that I honestly probably wouldn’t do.

I think she’s really neat :) And I think I could learn a lot about being selfless from her.

3. Goshhhh I’m kinda drawing a blank here ummm

*spongebob time-passing-screen-thing with the french guy*

Okay so I literally hopped off tumblr for the night and came back to this question twelve hours later lol and I still cannot think of a character :’0

Three books that you would recommend everyone to read

!!!!

OOOOOOOH!!! OKAYOKAY!!!

1. The One And Only Ivan :D This is one of four stories that has ever made me tear up, and the only story that has ever made me cry. It’s just… ough. It’s beautiful and unique and it’s amazing it’s amazing it’s amazing I CANNOT tell you enough how amazing this book is oh my gosh-

AND FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, DON’T FREAKING WATCH THE MOVIE! IT SUCKS! IT TOOK ALL THE THINGS THAT MADE THE BOOK UNIQUE AND GOT RID OF THEM AND THE RESULT IS AN INFURIATING PIECE OF MEDIA THAT DOES NOT DO THE BOOK JUSTICE! DON’T FREAKING WATCH THE MOVIE! READ THE BOOK!

2. What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson. I read this one very recently, I think in December, and… wow. Absolutely stunning. Just… wow. It’s haunting—that’s probably the best word for it—and beautiful and deep and dark and tragic. It’s the sort of book that made me feel a bit heavier while I was reading.

(Also one of the four stories that has made me tear up sooooo)

There is a bit (not a lot at all) of swearing, and one scene that bordered the lines between PG-13 and something above PG-13; it was like… I don’t know, it’s kinda confusing. It was sort of sexual but nothing really ended up happening. It was more like an implication or a suggestion.

But other than those things, the book was fantastic and I highly highly recommend!!

3. THE ROAD BY CORMAC MCCARTHY!!! YES THIS DESERVES CAPS LOCK!!!

LIKE

!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s one of the coolest and best stories I have ever hekkin read and it’s so sad and so amazing and so well-formatted and so interesting and so OUGHHHH

I need to reread this again 😭

There’s like, one swear word maybe? Two? Hardly any, really. But there’s definitely some disturbing scenes that would make a lot of people uncomfortable, so I’d advise caution.

But yesssssss this story is so good I’m gonna scream 😭

Three scented candles that you love the most

Gonna be perfectly honest here, I don’t like candles all that much. I just… eh. I don’t see the point. Not my thing.

So instead of doing scented candles, I’ll just list three of my favorite scents in general 😅

1. Vanilla :)

2. Certain flowersss maybe?? Some of them smell nice? Like vanilla but with honey and sort of like yogurt now that I think about it.

But a lot of flowers don’t smell like anything to me, so meh.

3. Uhhh

(This question is making me realize that my sense of smell is either not very strong or I just don’t… care that much about it lol because this is hardddd)

3. Like. Food. Good food. Yyyyyes.

Three people in history that inspire you the most

This is making me remember that I really do like history, and I like learning about history/people in history, but it is MISERABLE trying to find history books that aren’t hard to read or incredibly boring. So unfortunately I don’t know as much history as I would like :(

And I do like a bunch of people in history, but like the character question, I’m not often inspired by them.

Three languages you would love to learn

1. ASL!! I’ve been wanting to learn this one for years but haven’t been able to figure out how :’0 I would really like to take a class, but they’re surprisingly difficult to find.

2. Dutch! I think it’s super satisfying to listen to and I think it’d be fun :D

3. FRENCH!!! I technically know a little bit of French, but definitely not enough to say that I truly speak it.

[desperatecheesecubes]

And we’re into April so my March wrap is here! Part 1 because I read so many things this month :)

Damage (1994) issues 1-4

Dates Read: March 2, March 4, March 15

Review: 4 stars (issue 1) 3 stars (all others)

Thoughts: I’ve read some of Damage’s solo already in my efforts to read through Kyle’s GA run but I decided it was high time I loop back and try to 100% his run. It’s definitely a fun time. Still peeved he isn’t used more. Can’t believe they did a second Damage run and it’s not even about my boy Grant. DC return him to me immediately.

Marble Queen by Anna Kopp and Gabrielle Kart

Dates Read: 5 March-6 March

Review: 3 stars

Thoughts: This was very cute. A fun sapphic story, with good art. It ended on some sequel bait but I don’t know that any has been announced. I will pick it up if it does get announced. The most memorable thing about this is that the first day it dropped it refused to open in any of my kindle apps irregardless of the device or how many times I updated it. So I bought it physically because I really wanted to read it, only for it to work the next fucking day. Infuriating. I will likely rehome the physical copy as it didn’t crack into my higher ratings.

The Affair of the Mysterious Letter by Alexis Hall

Dates Read: 28 February- 6 March

Review: 5 stars

Thoughts: Holy shit this was so good. A fantasy/sci-fi retelling of Sherlock Holmes and I NEED there to be more books this instant. All the characters were so entertaining and the snark unprecedented. I loved the narrator for the audiobook so much that I proceeded to look up everything he’d done. Did I mention how queer this book is? 1000-% recommend

Superman (2016) 37

Dates Read: 6 March

Review: 3 stars

Thoughts: I keep seeing posts of future Tim coming to fight Bruce so I decided to reread this issue. It is a fun time! I deeply appreciate that the cover has fuck all to do with the story. The only character on this cover that makes an appearance is Clark.

Thunder Song by Sasha LaPointe

Dates Read: 5 March- 9 March

Review: 2 stars

Thoughts: I fucking hated this. I read Sasha’s poetry collection-Rose Quartz- last year and thought it was excellent so I preordered this eagerly but I wish I hadn’t. This isn’t a collection of essays, it’s a confused and misorganized memoir, but she’s literally already published a memoir so???? She was angry about so many things but angry at all the wrong people over them. So many of the experiences she discussed here were so deeply deeply relatable so it was very frustrating to have her constantly inform me that I could never understand any of them. The ability to understand and empathize with each other came free with our fucking humanity. If you are othering people by saying ‘you could never understand this pain’ you are doing yourself a wild disservice. Based on its average Goodreads rating it has found its proper audience but god knows I wasn’t that.

Batman (1940) 443

Dates Read: 9 March

Review: 3 stars

Thoughts: I legitimately don’t remember reading this nor do I have any idea what it was about. Cheerio!

The Fox Maidens by Robin Ha

Dates Read: 10 March

Review: 3 stars

Thoughts: Although this IS sapphic the romance doesn’t happen until the absolute end of the graphic novel. I was really more here for the main character eating bad men. She should have done that more. It was a fun read, even if it could have been gayer. I enjoyed learning more about Korean culture and mythology, I confess that I am not that knowledgeable.

Transitions by Élodie Durand

Dates read: 10 March

Review: 3 stars

thoughts: this book was not at all what I was expecting. It’s an interesting perspective to hear from in the trans conversation: a parent who knows nothing about the community but who finds out their child is part of it. I thought there would be more personal emotions in it but… no not really. A LOT of research though lol.

Women of Good Fortune by Sophie Wan

Dates Read: 9 March-13 March

Review: 4 stars

Thoughts: oh man this was fun. Very in line with Crazy Rich Asians. I loved all the women in this and I also enjoyed the supporting cast. I’ll be keeping an eye on what else Sophie Wan puts out.

Action Comics (2016) 1063

Dates Read: 14 March

Review: 2 stars

Thoughts: This arc was bad and I’m glad it’s over

[originalcontent]

Aww heck, I never posted about Marble Nest! Let’s talk about Marble Nest. We played it, we got all four endings, there were a couple things I maybe wanted to try but we didn’t but that’s okay, it would be pretty easy to replay. A couple thoughts.

As a player character, Daniil makes for a very very different playstyle than Artemy. It’s wild how all the actual mechanics of the game can be the same and yet such slight tweaks can change the feeling of the game so much. Like how everyone talking to you but how almost no one trading with you makes the whole town seem completely different.

Daniil sees the town as a chessboard and Artemy sees it as a body. This Daniil seems to know a lot fewer people than Artemy knew.

The pacing is also very interesting. The whole “time to make your nightly rounds” thing, is that something Daniil does? Is that part of his gameplay loop?

Coming out of having just finished Pathologic 2, wherein everyone’s constantly bitching at and/or trying to kill Artemy every four seconds, playing as Daniil felt like a fucking power trip. People are like “hey can you do this please” and I’m like “...wait can I do this? I can just do this??” 

I think overall I prefer playing as Artemy, although maybe I was just more accustomed to it.

Daniil is a BITCH.

No seriously, when playing Pathologic, I felt kind of bad about continually dragging Daniil because deep down there was always this little part of me that was like “you know he’s just trying his best, same as you, he doesn’t deserve all this shit you’re throwing at him” but now that I’ve gotten to walk a mile in his shoes I can definitively say that he absolutely deserved all of the shit I was throwing at him, and also I think Artemy deserved to punch him once. (After that they can go back to being friends/lovers/colleagues, however you interpret them, but he should get to punch him once.)

Okay enough about Artemy, he’s didn’t even appear in this game.

Wait one last thing, in the list of townsfolk it showed Artemy as having a name rather than being called “Haruspex”, but in the main game Daniil was listed as “Bachelor”? 

God, that list. Seeing so many dead kids. :( Daniil you did not protect my children. Oh, Mark Immortell was there and was in danger, in the Bachelor route am I allowed to let him die from the plague, is that a thing I can do, please? My besties Lara, Bad Grief, and Victor were also dead, but Stakh was alive! I tried to visit him but I couldn’t, the game doesn’t let you cross the river even if you go alllllll the way around it. I tried to find Aglaya too but couldn’t.

Seeing the town map was so heartbreaking. Quarantining the stone yard and letting everyone else die is a pretty pragmatic decision bUT ALSO!!!!!! My KIDS.

The loop was neat, how everyone kept saying you were dead and how you didn’t know why until the end, and I loved how the town kind of was your body. (Do the fires mean you’re feverish? Does the cold mean you’re dying?) This game has always been excellent about how it nests themes within themes and symbols within symbols, and Marble Nest was no exception.

Kind of hilarious tho how the ultimate theme is “if you don’t want your favorite character to die, just stop reading the book, or maybe start over and reread the parts where they’re still alive forever.” Turns out you really can beat death Daniil, good job. :)

(“But wait! I may be a fictional character, but the disease which kills me is also fictional! AU in which it’s not real fuck you” Honestly what did I expect coming from the same people who had a plot-critical messenger murdered offscreen by the understudy of the protagonist.)

This character’s themes seem to be very lofty. Again, I think I vibed more with the more grounded side of things, but I love metafuckery so you know.

That time I was in that house and I was like “I might need to check out some rooms” and the other guy was like “here, I have the master key” and hands me a lockpick, I actually laughed. Incredible.

The PANTOMIME. God that was such a vibe. Compared to everything else in Pathologic, it was so animated! I do love the “you’re heartless, come back to me when you have a heart” and then in the next loop I hand them a human heart and they’re like “.....dude, have you ever heard of a fucking metaphor, holy shit why are you giving me this.”

The CLOAK. The MASK. The S A N D A L S. Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wearing the ensemble and literally being immune to the plague zone, I was like “wow this is fucking op how is this even allowed” although I guess Marble Nest was also written so that you can last the whole game on literally one piece of toast.

It was so weird to go around places where I know twyre grows and not hear any bugs. I did take a nice incredibly long walk through the steppe just to see how far the game would let me go though, because it was nice and pretty and who the fuck has time for that while in Pathologic? 

I didn’t really talk much before with Georgiy Kain, but fuuuuuuck what is wrong with that guy? If Daniil’s been hanging out with him, I can fucking understand why he became obsessed with the polyhedron at the end.

And Aspity, oh god I have so many questions, what are you, I don’t think we ever cleared that up.

And Shrew! What’s her deal?? There were actually a lot of very memorable NPC’s who didn’t even have their own custom designs.

I don’t know much about Pathologic 1 but I think Eva killed herself in the Bachelor route? Does that mean she’s going to die in this Bachelor route if it ever comes out? I mean presumably Marble Nest already deviates from that game quite a bit since I don’t think Artemy dies in it (and I don’t think Daniil does either.)

Gee Daniil! How come your mom lets you have two funerals?

A little sad Changeling never came by to say hi, I would have liked to see her. Although I guess she’s busy trying to save my ass irl. I know I remembered seeing the steam page for Marble Nest earlier and being like “huh that’s sort of a strange poster for the game, isn’t Artemy supposed to be dead?” And then I played it and I just took a moment and turned to my sister and was like “hey look at this” and she was like “...yup that’s literally the game.”

Overall it was a fun time. Very short comparatively, very clever. 

[astralbooks]

The Prison Healer - Lynette Noni

Read: 22/08/2021 - 24/08/2021

Rating: 3/5

Rep: side character with a prosthetic arm, side character with a stutter, sapphic minor character

CW: imprisonment, death, violence, sexual violence, mention/discussion of rape (none on-page), epidemic/illness, death of a parent, death of a child, drug use & overdose, past self harm, referenced/discussed child abuse, experimentation on animals, accidental necrophilia (not involving major characters)

Review: 

This was a difficult review to write.

For most of my time reading this book, I didn’t have any strong opinions about it. The prose was clear and I was able to sit down and read for long periods of time without wanting to take a break, so that’s definitely points in this book’s favour. The trials plotline that was happening alongside Kiva’s attempts to identify and cure the mysterious epidemic sweeping the prison’s inmates held my attention and I was interested in seeing how these plotlines would be resolved. None of the characters were all that memorable to me and I wouldn’t say that I loved any of them, but I didn’t dislike any of them. This book was slow paced, which I liked as it gives the reader the opportunity to really get to know the characters and environment. All of this together made for a perfectly reasonable experience. Not every book has to blow me away, and I would’ve been content with this.

And then the final 20% of the book happened and things fell apart. I can’t explain why I dislike the final fifth of this book properly without spoiling things. I’ve done my best, but if you’re someone who prefers to know nothing at all about a book before reading it and you’re interested in this one, then this is probably where you should stop reading this review. I wouldn’t see anything I’ve written here as a spoiler, but different people have different definitions of what spoilers are.

A lot of the fantasy genre at the moment focuses on royalty and court politics, and a certain amount of pretending that monarchies aren’t generally bad is required to be able to enjoy them. That’s the price of entry, it sucks but that’s the situation. However, setting this book in a prison that’s shown to be horrifically cruel to its inmates to the point where someone surviving more than a month there is notable, and that regularly takes in literal children along with their parents for the sole crime of being in the way during the arrest, and then making it explicitly clear that this prison being run in this way is beneficial to the royal family and they don’t care about the wellbeing of the prisoners at all, all makes it a lot harder to continue that line of pretending. It naturally led me to think that this story was going to be about how bad monarchies and prison systems are. And there is a rebellion brewing in the kingdom and prison! But it’s not one with the aim to improve conditions for anyone (remember, this is a world in which petty theft or standing next to someone deemed undesirable can get you thrown into a prison with an average life expectancy of a month, so even the ‘free’ people are presumably also not doing well), but one with the aim of putting a different royal family on the throne. That’s it. And none of our major characters ever consider that maybe there’s a problem here. They’re all about the status quo. If nobody cares about making the world better, then why should I care about which way the rebellion/proto-civil war goes? A single line from someone saying that things need to change (with no specifics given about what they think needs to change or what they’re going to do about it, even though they were someone in a position where they actually could do something) is not enough to convince me that any of this is going to be addressed going forwards, especially as that line felt very much like an afterthought that was added at the last minute. Again, all of this is usually something that has to be ignored in order to enjoy the fantasy genre, but Noni made the decision to set the first book in this series in a prison, and that makes these things impossible to ignore anymore.

There are no excuses for the point of view character lying to the reader for the sole purpose of there being a big reveal later on! Unless the point of view character actively knows that the reader’s there, for instance if they’re telling the story themselves or are writing out an account of events, then, crucially, they don’t know that the reader is there. So if something happens that they would have Thoughts™ about, then they should have those thoughts. I am convinced that, if Kiva’s knowledge had been shared with the reader when it became relevant instead of all at the very end, this book would’ve been improved for it. Nothing about how the last few pages were written would even need to change or be reworded, but if the reader had been looped in from the start then the tension throughout would’ve been way up and certain other scenes and revelations would’ve hit a lot harder. It could’ve been so interesting! But Noni wanted to have a twist ending instead, and the whole book suffers as a result. It pretty much wrecks any rereadability this book had.

The romance was fine. I’ve come across worse romances in my time. Which isn’t exactly a thrilling endorsement, the bar is underground after all, but I don’t have any complaints about it. I could believe that these two people liked each other, and also I could understand both of their reasons behind not getting their act together about it sooner. I’m not about to rush to ao3 to find/create more content about them, but I’m not wanting this book to feature less of their relationship either.

Like I said earlier, I wasn’t in love with this book, but I did enjoy reading it right up until the point where I wasn’t anymore. I don’t think that this is a book that I’d advise people to avoid, but I have referred to it out loud as ‘that book that the ending pissed me off’ more than once, so do with that information what you will.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-arc in return for an honest review. Passages referenced may differ in the published version.

[callioope]

Author Interview

tagged by @theputterer -- thank you :) 

Name: Liz

Fandoms: In terms of posted fics, mainly Rogue One and Star Wars (OT). I have at least one fic posted in A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, Community, and Howl’s Moving Castle (book). But I also like The Clone Wars and Rebels. I’ve been reading mainly ATLA fic for the past couple weeks. 

Where you post: AO3 and sometimes here on tumblr. There are a few drabbles I’ve posted on tumblr that I really ought to crosspost on AO3 for posterity. 

Most popular one-shot: “In Which Sophie is Late, and Howl Noses Around in Her Business” (Howl’s Moving Castle) With 698 kudos. Uh. Wow. I was not expecting that! It’s literally my only HMC fic (although I do technically have other unfinished drafts) and it’s not even a year old, and surpassed my second most popular one-shot which was posted in 2015. Pregnancy trope is popular I guess. It is amusing to me that my most popular one-shot is not in my favorite OTP fandom (rebelcaptain). Howl’s Moving Castle ended up having a wider audience than I anticipated. 

Also as a disclaimer, but popularity is weird to gauge because do you go by hits or kudos or comments? I went with kudos because hits could count people who clicked on my story and then didn’t like it. But it’s hard because hits also include re-reads, so, idk. 

Most popular multi-chapter fic: “The Last Stark” (A Song of Ice and Fire) 815 kudos. This was finished in 2013 so it’s had plenty of time to accumulate the kudos. It’s a Gendrya Anastasia AU (“Aryastasia” was my working title for this one lol). So again, popular trope, in a popular fandom, in a popular ship. This fic is so old when I reread it, I usually find myself wanting to edit it, especially the ending. I was so ready to be done writing this that I think I rushed the ending. Oh well, writing plots is really difficult!

Fic you were nervous to post: Every fic? lol. I’m never not nervous to post a fic. But I’m definitely more nervous posting in a fandom for the first time. So posting “Whatever I Do (I Do It To Protect You)” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain) was pretty nervewracking, especially since it’d been awhile since I posted anything. [OOOH, fun fact, but WID celebrated it’s 4 year anniversary yesterday! Ha, that’s funny.] I was working on this fic for weeks before I posted it. 

I was also super nervous to post my Jeff/Annie Community soulmate AU, “Intro to Neurochemical Compatibility” because (a) first time posting in that fandom, (b) I decided to use script format which I know is not everyone’s jam, and (c) the premise is just so ridiculous! But I had fun with it. 

Also gift exchanges are always nerve-wracking because I worry the giftee won’t like it. My giftee never responded to my 2020 rebelcaptain secret santa fic so I’m actually constantly worrying that they didn’t like it and feeling bad that I failed them. :/ 

How you choose your titles: with so much agonizing. gosh it’s so hard and honestly i have so many titles that i hate. I’ve got a couple song lyric titles. a couple quotes. a couple “how to...” apparently that was a whole phase I went through. Either the titles come to me immediately, or I put off choosing a title until the absolutely moment I need to post it, and then spend hours agonizing over a quote/song lyric/phrase that fits and probably begging others for help.

Do you outline: YES. Possibly overly so. I’ve ran into issues in the past, when I was much younger, where I didn’t resolve problems proposed early in the story. So I need to know where the story is going in order to lay the proper groundwork. Also, if I do not write things down I forget them five minutes later. I also think outlining is a useful trick to jumpstart writing, so if the muse just isn’t present, I’ll try to lure her out by outlining. 

Complete: 19 fics. 

In progress: Oh boy this is so hard to count. As far as what’s posted? Technically only one: “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain). Despite the fact that I think the deadline was extended multiple time, I procrastinated and ended up rushing chapter one to meet the rebelcaptain rom-com challenge deadline. Didn’t really have a proper outline for this one, even though I knew vaguely what I wanted it to be about. I wrote chapter two but I hated what I wrote so I ... I kinda abandoned it. I mean technically, I never consider a work abandoned, I always intend to get back to it. Some day when I have the inspiration I will. But this idea ended up being a challenge I didn’t feel ready for at the time, and then my interest moved on to other ideas.

I also had a longer story planned for “you must become an island (the horizon is all we have)” but only posted one part of it to finish it on time. Ideally this fic would be part of a series, but again, motivation is needed so we’ll see

Technically I have 22 rebelcaptain ideas alone (including some listed in this post) at various states of completed, plus a handful of Community and HMC ideas. Of the ones I’m most interested in, there’s probably about 14 that I really hope to finish and post some day. 

ETA: omg i totally forgot that i was idly considering trying to finish my rebelcaptain soulmate AU in time for Valentine’s Day, but at this point I haven’t had any motivation to write so I don’t think that’s gonna happen. that fic has been sitting in my drafts since 2018 and in my drafts it will continue to sit.

Coming soon: “soon” is relative but these are currently the ones I’ve focused the most on recently:

Fencing AU (rebelcaptain)

You’ve Got Mail AU (rebelcaptain)

Post-War Fic with @allatariel (rebelcaptain, plus a LOT of other ships, includes Rebels characters, OT characters, and... maybe some others :) )

Palm Springs/time loop AU (Jeff/Annie)

Do you accept prompts: Wellllll here’s the thing. When I’ve asked for prompts, I haven’t been the best at fulfilling them in a timely manner. For that reason, I don’t encourage prompts but I’m not opposed to them. (I suppose technically exchange fics are prompts, and I wrote a bunch of fics in 2017 for rebelcaptainprompts, but I’m not gonna count those because I don’t think that’s what the question here is really going for)

“The Climb (A Lie, A Hero)” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain) was actually a prompt. 

I solicited prompts for my birthday in 2019, which I didn’t end up fulfilling until exactly one year later. 

Technically the You’ve Got Mail AU is a prompt, someone prompted me to write a fic for my favorite go-to comfort movie.

And, uh, the certain someone who tagged me for this meme prompted me in a comment back in October 2017 to do a Luke and Leia swap where Leia grows up on Tatooine, so that is sitting in my WIP list. 

Yeah, this is why I don’t solicit or encourage prompts. The return rate is just not fair for the prompter. 

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: this fluctuates on any given day. the fencing AU is so close to being done (well the first draft anyways) so i really really want to just finish it! But yeah it’d be anything on the coming soon list above.

tagging: @allatariel, @cats-and-metersticks, @lothcatlovesysalamiri, @veritascara, @brynnmclean and anyone who sees this and wants to do it! also ofc per usual no pressure if u don’t want to.

[lord-explosion-baku]

Like Ghosts In Snow

Midoriya x Reader (Vampire AU)

Warnings: Blood mention, death mention, suggestive themes, light yandere??? (idk bro he was pretty much a yandere throughout the fic)

A/N: This is the last chapter I’ll be adding to one of my first fics and I wanted to share it mostly because I am actually proud of it, but also because after I posted this chapter, I went back and reread the first few chapters and... woof. All I can say is that I’ve come a very long way. It’s kind of a good reminder that all writers start out from somewhere. I know I’ve said this on my blog dozens of times, but I cannot stress this enough: in order to get better at writing, you need to W R I T E. I want to guess that I’ve written at least 500 pages of story in the last year and a half, and though I pride myself on my ideas and certain one-liners, not everything is very pretty. I can admit it. It be like that. I’ve grown since I first picked up the pen (or if we’re being literal, the phone) and it’s okay! I’m happy with where I’m at and I’ve even more excited to see how I’ll improve within the next year, too! Anyways, read this if you want! There are major plot spoilers in this last chapter, obviously, but if you wanna learn what happens the chronological way, you must brave my writing circa 2018 :’). I wanted to say thank you all for joining me on this wacky, messy, bloody journey and I hope you enjoy.

“We’ve got The Cramps, Joy Division, The Doors…” Izuku hummed shifting through another stack of cassette tapes. “Oh! How about Bowie?” 

The sounds of clattering pins rang in Izuku’s ears. While he was looking through music to listen to on the upcoming journey, you were looking for accessories— different pins and patches to place on yours and Izuku’s jackets and bags. 

“Bowie?” You asked with obvious interest. “What album?” 

“Low.” 

“Ah… Grim and ethereal… sounds that make the listener think about their own mortality, and the inevitability of non-existence…” 

You took a pensive pause, considering the album. Izuku loved that you thought about music so thoroughly. All Might’s comic book store has become home to you just as it had been with him. He loved the comfort he felt with you around. He felt home with you here. 

“Perfect for driving through the desert,” Izuku mused, fingering the tape. 

“Exactly,” you said, and Izuku could hear the grin in your voice. The two of you were exactly in sync— perfect for each other. 

Music played on a record player the two of you decided to leave at the store as Izuku neatly placed the cassette with the rest he’d collected. He looked to you. You were slowly swaying your hips to the rhythmic beat that bounced around the second floor to the comic book store. Izuku’s eyes grew heavy as he silently watched you, appreciating the way your body moved even when you didn’t think you were being watched. He dropped the bag to the floor. 

Izuku looped his arms around your waist, closing his grasp on your stomach. He leaned into you, inhaling your aroma; it was sweet like wildflowers and jasmine. Izuku closed his eyes and hummed, “dance with me…” 

You let out a light chuckle, a sound Izuku adored, a sound he could never get enough of. “How many times are you going to ask me to dance with you until we finally get this show on the road?” 

“Not enough.” Izuku kissed the back of your neck and you shuddered. He did so again, pressing a hand against your stomach, and you finally turned to face him, your cheeks lightly dusted in familiar warmth. He grinned and took your hand into his, bringing it up to his lips so he could peck your strong knuckles, looking up at you through thick, dark lashes. “Dance with me.” 

You brought your arms around his shoulders and grinned. Izuku grew warm when you closed the space between the two of you, your soft body against him making him pulsate in all the right places. “How could I say no when you show me a face like that?” 

Triumph coursed through Izuku’s now active veins as the two of you danced in circles inside the closed space. Your beautiful laughter battled the music as he twirled you around, relishing the moment you came back into his arms and buried your head into his shoulders. He had you. He had you, because you chose him. You came back from a plane unknown to live the rest of your undefinable days dancing and hunting with him. Not Todoroki and certainly not Kacchan. Him. 

“What song is this?” You asked into his shoulder. 

Izuku pursed his lips. He’d certainly heard the song before, but he couldn’t recall its name, nor what band was playing. For once in his life, he was at a loss for information, because nothing in this world existed outside of you. Hell, all the best songs in the world could be renamed after you if he had any say in it. 

Izuku muttered something indecipherable, knowing too well that you didn’t actually want to know the name of the song, you merely wanted to add conversation to battle against the inevitable. 

His hands slid down your back and he could feel your heartbeat pickup against his chest. At one point of his second life, the sound of your heart working to push blood through your veins would have sent him to the absolute edge, throat scorching and body aching with lust and need and thirst. Now that thirst was replaced by something less like famine and more like a greedy craving, the lust he kept for you and only you as prominent as ever. You gazed up at him and bit your lip. Your hand ghosted across his cheek, drifting to the back of his neck. Your touch was a whisper in a language he knew very well. 

You loved him. You wanted him. 

You stood up in your tiptoes to brush your lips across his. It was a simple peck— one that intended to be sweet, but one that didn’t fail to make Izuku even more desirous, wanting more. Whenever he had a taste of you, he’d always need more. You knew that. And so Izuku moved. 

He pushed you back against the lapel pin counter, kissing you urgently as he wedged his knee between your thighs. You sighed into him, allowing Izuku to roll his tongue over yours, tasting you, basking in all that you were willing to give. A cool hand made its way under your shirt. You moaned as Izuku peppered kisses towards your neck, laving his tongue across one of the few scars that stayed present even after both of your changes. The scar was cool underneath his tongue. Your fingers knitted into the back of his curly locks when he bit down on a place that remained untouched, and you moaned again, lips tightly pressed together in hopes to not give yourself away to the man downstairs. Still, your legs wrapped around Izuku and Izuku sucked harshly in an attempt to break your resolve, because to him, there was no man downstairs; there was only you, and he wanted to hear what he could do to you. 

“What if he catches us?” You whispered in a low, breathy way, your voice breaking at the word ‘catch.’ It was adorable when you tried to keep yourself a secret. It was hot when Izuku revealed that secret. 

“He won’t.” Izuku quickly retorted, again latching his lips to yours while he fumbled with the buttons of your blouse, although, he couldn’t know for sure. He just didn’t care. He kissed your collarbone, your right breast, then your left, pausing only to peek up at your flustered expression and while he listened to the rapid pace your heart took. Your pupils were blown, probably mirroring his. He loved that— your mutual hunger for one another. Izuku knew he had won when you lightly pushed his head farther down, and Izuku happily obliged to take your unspoken demand. 

“KIDS!” A familiar bellow shook the room even though it seemed light years away. 

Izuku rubbed his cheek on your soft thigh, licking his lips as he took in you. His fingers pet you through thin cotton materials and he could nearly keel over a die when he felt the saturated evidence of your desire. He wanted so badly for you to say, ‘ignore him and play with me. I need you, Izuku. I need you now.’ 

“Izuku—“ you objected as his thumb teased circles around your peak. Defiantly, his tongue ran up your thigh and he pressed deeper against you, hoping that with his touch, you’d be just as lost in him as he was you. 

“ARE YOU DONE?!” 

“Yeah!” You called back, and Izuku’s head fell onto your leg. Betrayal, defeat, anguish. Izuku huffed. 

“Awww, c’mooon,” you cooed, lifting Izuku by his chin to meet your face, “don’t be pouty! We’ll have plenty of time to continue this on the road!” 

“Like in the back of the Jeep?” 

You pressed your lips together. Izuku could only assume what you were thinking. You didn’t want to sleep with him in that red Jeep either because it would be disrespectful to your late, adoptive-father, or the thought that your father may have done the do in that exact spot back in his prime was a serious turnoff. 

“Erm. Maybe like a motel or a tent or something.”

Izuku huffed again. You grinned, your eyes crinkling at the sides and he could only assume what you were seeing. Instead of a seductive vampire with heavily lidded eyes that drew lust out of his victim with a simple flick of his tongue, you were seeing a grumpy puppy, cheeks puffing out and skin blooming pink because he wasn’t getting what he wanted. Oh, how his face betrayed him. Oh, how he missed being one hundred percent creature of the night. There was nothing cute or sweet or childish about a man who’d stalk you in a dark alley in order to satiate his need. There was only fear, lust, and sex. 

That didn’t mean that creature was completely lost to him, though you didn’t yet have to know just how much vampirism still resided in Izuku. He would show you, of course, but that was something he’d have to do little by little to keep you from fretting. It was something he could do now. 

Izuku squeezed your thighs and looked you straight in the eyes. “Say that you love me.” 

“I do, Izuku-“ one of your hands went to cup his face “-I love you.” 

Izuku mimicked your motion, his sweet voice lowering into a darker octave. “Say that you’re mine.” 

“I’m yours,” you whispered back, and Izuku was keenly aware of how your heart fluttered in your chest. “Forever and always.” 

Izuku leaned into you, but kept himself bare centimeters from your lips. He watched you part for him, expecting a kiss, but instead he stayed there and watched you struggle to get what you wanted. He pushed his pelvis against you, and you let out a slight gasp when you felt just how much he wanted to ravage you, then and there.

“‘Zuku,” your voice was almost a whimper, a tease for what he’d be expecting later on in the night or very early in the morning. Your nails dug into his shoulder as he dragged his tongue across your lush, bottom lip. He eyed you and waited for you to start your own list filled frenzy. When you did, Izuku stepped away from the table, right when you were about to shove your back lips onto his. 

“Okay!” He chirped merrily, knowing too well how his face could change into that of devilish innocence in a blink of an eye. “Let’s get this show on the road!” 

You scoffed. “That’s not nice!” 

Izuku smirked and headed towards the stairs. It only took a couple seconds to get you bounding after him, latching onto his hands and muttering profanities under your breath. Izuku could laugh. Even when he loses, he wins. 

All Might was sending the two of you on your first hunting trip together. It was exciting for several reasons: you and Izuku were going to be alone together, the two of you were the vampire slayer’s apprentices (although, Izuku still held the claim of being a slayer prodigy) so you had everything a hunter’s heart could desire, and, again, you were going to be alone together. 

All Might slammed a duffel bag onto the store’s counter, the motion letting out clinking, metallic sounds. It wasn’t cassette tapes and enamel pins in the bag that All Might prepares for you. Izuku wondered if you were nervous. He’d gone on trips before, but this was your first time. Of course, you had nothing to worry about. Izuku was never, not ever, going to let anything hurt you. He’d already made the mistake of letting that happen once when he had his back turned to you on Hizashi’s cliff, and he would not be letting that happen again. 

All Might bid the two of you farewell with some tips and tricks that Izuku had already known. You looked so cute absorbing all the information you could though and Izuku was jealous. He’d make sure that he became more of a teacher to you while you were on the road. 

You insisted on carrying the duffel bag to the Jeep, explaining that you weren’t fragile and that you could hold your own. Izuku insisted that he would drive, explaining that he could see better at night, although he left out the part that he really wanted to carry your sleeping body into your shared motel room. 

You clambered into the passenger seat, nearly bouncing up and down from excitement. You’d expressed plenty of times how badly you missed being on the road, and it was clear to Izuku as you sifted through all your borrowed cassette tapes how good this was going to be for you. Your good mood was infectious. 

“What should we listen to first?” You asked, pulling out your top three choices. 

“Whatever you want!” And Izuku meant it. There was still so much to learn about you and though you both had plenty of time on your hands, Izuku was impatient. He wanted to know everything. You seemed to choose something at random, but when you popped open the cassette player, you saw that there was something in there already. 

“Oh,” you said, looking wistful. Whatever it had been, it was Aizawa’s. Izuku struggled to read your mood. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“Mix tape.” 

Boldly, he suggested, “we could… listen to this first…” 

“Yeah…” you paused before pushing the tape back in. There was a click. Izuku started the engine and watched you. A soft smile found your face when an old sixties rock band started playing. Izuku pet your hair back and you leaned over to smooch his lips. “I can’t wait!” 

“Me neither.” Izuku grinned and backed out of the parking spot. The two of you waved to the proud looking All Might and sped down the Santa Carla streets. 

While Izuku drove, you sang softly to each song while you sewed patched and stuck lapel pins into yours and Izuku’s clothes. He was impressed that you knew the lyrics to nearly everything on the track and he even joined in singing during his favorite choruses. Driving with you was heaven on earth. 

When Izuku got to the desert, he became a little wary— cautious of both things that lurked in the night, and secrets that he wasn’t yet ready to tell you. He was thankful that you had your own activities to keep you preoccupied, because the secret he was keeping happened to surface, but it was one that could only be seen had you been looking out for it. 

Dabi and Toga, two members of his misfit, makeshift coven, had been waiting by the side of the road to see Izuku off. He knew that they, too, were like him. He was never officially apart of Selene’s coven, so when her soul was finally sent on to the next plane, Izuku didn’t quite change back exactly like the rest of the kids whose faces painted the walls of Santa Carla. 

Izuku gave them a curt nod as he drove past them and when he did so, he saw that there was a new addition to their miniature coven: Ochako Uraraka. Izuku didn’t care much when he discovered her untimely demise, but knowing that she finally got half of what she wanted brought a smile to his face. He could feel happy for one of his ex-best friends, especially since he, himself, got all of what he wanted. 

Izuku kept his left hand on the steering wheel, while bringing his right to your thigh. You hummed in appreciation right as ‘People Are Strange’ by The Doors came on. You gasped, and for a split second, Izuku thought it was because you loved the song. He recalled that the very first conversation he had with you was about Jim Morrison and how Izuku hinted that he was a vampire, but then you cursed under your breath. 

Izuku’s brows knitted together. “What is it?” 

“I pricked my finger,” you said, and turned to shuffle through things in the back. “Is the first aid kit up up here or in the trunk?” 

“Are you bleeding?” 

“A little,” you said bashfully. 

Izuku snickered. “We’re hunters, you know. We heal in a flash.” Then Izuku smelled you. It was rich, sweet, delicious… just so you and Izuku felt that very familiar and very prominent aching. 

“Let me see it.” 

Izuku hoped you couldn’t hear the stern depravity in his voice. He’d let you know later on just how desperate he was to have you listen to his demand at this very second, but for now, his very hungry heart would just be thankful that you were so ready to comply. You stuck your finger out to him. Izuku was a great multitasker and he didn’t expect anyone else to be on the road at this time of the night, so he was able to take in the absolute treasure that was your crimson splendor. 

He guided your finger in between his lips. His tongue rolled out and lapped at the wound, swirling around your finger. You let out the softest gasps, right before biting your lips. Izuku eyed you as he sampled your magnificence. You seemed to be enjoying yourself, but there was no chance that you liked this as much as him. Still, he adored seeing the flush of your cheeks and that faraway look you were giving him. You wanted him to devour you. 

Izuku recalled promising you that he was going to savor you, and savor you he will, but for now, he would let himself indulge in the seraphic flavors of honey… sunshine…

Ambrosia.

[pimpedoutgreenears]

Shinji, Yutaka, Keita? c:

Hey, look! More ask meme stuff I haven’t answered yet!

Shinji

How I feel about this character

Not to be a basic bitch here, but he’s literally my favorite. Watching him spiral downhill in the book gets me every time. I love watching this really smart, cool character just slowly becoming paranoid and agitated as things get dire.

I also just really like that kind of character. Someone who’s smart and arrogant, but also really loves his friends.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I think anyone who knows me knows that he and Yutaka together are my OTP. Like, I will go down with that ship. I can’t say enough about how much I enjoy their dynamic.

I also like him with Sho, Shuya, Shogo, Chisatio, and Keita (usually one-sided on Keita’s part, but I’m flexible).

There are definitely other characters that I ship him with at least a little, but those are the main ones. Other pairings with him are mostly just ones where I think it’d be interesting to see the dynamic.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Yutaka again! As much as I like them together romantically, their platonic relationship also means a lot to me. No matter what, I see these two as best friends.

I also like his friendships with Shuya and Hiroki! And I wish he was closer to Yoshitoki because I think them talking about how they view romance together would be good for both of them.

I also really want him to be friends with Shogo because I think they’d get along really well.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Probably that I didn’t care for his portrayal in AB, but that was more an issue of, how do I put this.... It feeling like Shuya might as well have written it.

Like, here’s a story about Shinji :) He’s perfect and has no flaws. All of his actions are justified all the time and even if he says something not great we’re gonna justify it because Shinji is perfect :) :) :)

Idk, I’ve been thinking I should reread AB and see if I still feel that way, but that was definitely my original read of it lol.

I just really need that depth that the novel gives him. I need to see him saying/thinking things that are harsh and that feel like things a 15 year old would say.

I just can’t deal with nice guy Shinji who everyone adores. It feels so one dimensional, and I just need someone to acknowledge that he’s an arrogant playboy, who needs to be complimented every 20 minutes to be happy.

One thing I wish would happen/has happened with this character in canon

That he lived, obviously.

That he realized he was in love with Yutaka before he died.

I would have loved to see either of his plans work. I wanted to see the American national anthem playing on the island on loop. That would have been so funny, and I think he would have really enjoyed it. I would have loved to see his original plan work because I think him telling the other students would be gold.

Shinji: I just dismantled the program, no big deal. Easy to do when you’re a genius.

And then him getting to soak up their praise.

I also would have liked to see him hook up with the main trio. I think that would have been a really cool team. I would have liked to see how he fit in with that dynamic because I think he’d definitely be saying a lot of things similar to Shogo.

Oh, and him not shooting Keita would have been cool. I would have liked to see if the plan would have succeeded if he’d just taken Keita along for the ride.

Yutaka

How I feel about this character

I love Yutaka so much. He’s such a realistic character, and I really relate to him on a lot of levels. I love that he’s the funny class clown, but then is actually really sweet and emotional.

I also think the decision to make him doubt Shinji was such a good one. I think he’s so much more interesting because he had that doubt. Like, Shinji is his best friend and he loves him, but he’s also not going to watch him shoot someone and be like, “I’m sure he had a really good reason!”

Like, Yutaka is all about acknowledging Shinji’s greatness, but he’s also not completely blinded by it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

As previously mentioned, him with Shinji is my OTP.

I also like him with Izumi (although I usually think it’d be one-sided on Yutaka’s part). Due to some past RPs I ship him with Shogo. And I think him with Shinji’s sister Ikumi would be cute (obviously when they’re older, given the 3 year age gap). And him and Yuka together would probably be a lot of fun!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Shinji. They are bffs.

Also Keita and Yuichiro. Obviously he’s friends with Keita, but I also like to think Yuichiro came over for anime nights from time to time.

I also really like how the manga had him as part of the group with Hiroki, Shuya, and Nobu (and Shinji, but I already mentioned him). I think that group would have a ton of fun together and that the manga was right to make that change. And I could totally see him and Nobu bonding over being best friends with 2 of the most popular guys in school, like I’m sure Yutaka wasn’t the only one who felt inadequate from time to time.

My unpopular opinion about this character

It’s not his fault that Shinji died (although I think now-a-days that’s thankfully a more popular opinion).

Like, setting a pulley down when you’re tired, does not a murderer make. And taking a second to reevaluate his trust in Shinji after he SHOOTS THEIR FRIEND seems fair.

Not to mention I think the yelling and gunshots were probably a bigger sign for Kiriyama than the flashlight.

One thing I wish would happen/has happened with this character in canon

I want my son to live :(

I also would have really liked if he’d gotten to see Izumi before she died. He would have been so happy!

I also would really like it if he’d gotten to be the one to kill Kiriyama, especially if he managed to do it with the fork. Like, him ripping out Kazuo’s neck with the fork would have been perfect.

Keita

How I feel about this character

I grow to like Keita more and more as the years go on (granted, I’ve always liked the dude). I think he’s an interesting character given what we know about him. I think there are so many fun ways to interpret his actions (and some really sad ones). Not to mention the fandom has delivered some great Keita content, which always has me rolling.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Shinji (one-sided on Keita’s part) is my favorite. I think it can be such a funny pairing or also a dramatic one.

Fandom has also shown me the joys of him and Yuka together, and honestly those two goof balls are a match made in heaven.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Yutaka! I would really have loved to get more insight on their friendship!

And then Yuichiro, because, once again, I bring you anime boys.

I’ve also seen some great fan content where Keita is part of the manga friend group with Shinji, Hiroki, Shuya, Nobu, and Yutaka. And honestly that’s galaxy brain right there. Them as a group is so fun.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He also didn’t kill Shinji. The dude just wanted to be with people and was terrified. Like, you can’t tell someone who you know is a coward to just go away. He needed to be with people he could trust.

One thing I wish would happen/has happened with this character in canon

Hey, look, another character that I wish had lived!

Honestly I just wish he had been able to join Shinji and Yutaka. I would have liked to see him help and get redemption in Shinji’s eyes.

Also in general I just wish there was more of him. A chapter in his pov would have been awesome. Like, just a short chapter early on of him being alone and thinking would have been amazing.

[purplesurveys]

1005

Do you live with your parents?  Yup. Will probably continue to do so for a while, but that’s the norm here. We don’t really move out by the time we turn 18.

Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? Not necessarily here in the house, but I have embarrassing middle school photos floating around the internet for sure. And maybe from high school, too.

Can you do a backflip, or anything else of that sort? Not at all. I liked to try doing handstands as a child but nearly broke an arm at one point, so I wouldn’t fare well with a backflip.

What moment in your life have you been most scared? A few men have lunged at me while I was simply walking in public at night. I always have this grand vision of me slapping a guy or kicking his balls or spitting on his face if one decides to act stupid or harass-y around me, but... you’re never really prepared for when it actually happens. I’ve frozen up in terror every time, unable to defend myself. 

Do you have any exes you can't stand anymore? I can’t stand how she handled things, but I’m not capable of hating her.

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? I don’t feel like getting into the details, sorry. Everything still sucks.

Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I take them. The few questions I manage to come up with have usually already been thought of, so I just like subscribing to survey-makers who are able to come up with new and interesting questions.

What would your parents do if you told them you were pregnant right now? They’d be sorely disappointed and I’m expecting to be heavily interrogated as well. Suffice it to say I’d be unwelcome at home in an instant.

Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? No.

Were you? I’ve never been pregnant.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? I’m on my phone for entertainment purposes, and my laptop is for work. I’d say I’m able to strike a good balance with both.

Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? Well I haven’t learned how to cook well yet, so I don’t really have a choice.

How old do you think you'll be when you move out on your own? Mid- to late 20s, I hope.

Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? Currently, I’m an intern at a public relations agency but yes, I’m actively looking for full-time gigs too. I love my work though.

Have you ever ripped your pants in public? I don’t think so.

Do movies such as 'Saw' and 'The Grudge' scare you easily? Sure, but not as much as other horror flicks. It’s the psychological, slow burn ones that really get to me, like Midsommar.

Who do you talk to the most on MSN? I don’t have that.

How many best friends do you have? What are their names? I know I have at least one best friend, Angela. I’m too scared to ask if Gab still considers me as one. How sad is that?

What's the craziest thing you've ever been dared to do? I don’t like dares.

Did you do it?

Do you know anybody who has a birthday today? Hmm November 1...I don’t think so. The only birthday coming to mind is my cousin’s, but that’s not until the 3rd.

When is your birthday? How old will you be? April 21. On my next one, I’ll be 23.

Do you change the radio stations repeatedly in the car? If all the stations seem to be have meh playlists going on, then yes I change it around a lot.

Can you drive? Sure.

Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? I can’t remember any specific instance at the moment but I’m not ruling it out. What I’ve definitely done is to wave at someone who wasn’t even waving at me.

Do you feel bad for homeless people? Yes, unless they got in that position by being an asshole. But I generally don’t come across that type of situation; and for the overwhelming majority of the time I do feel bad and helpless seeing homeless people, especially homeless kids.

What do you consider to be a good grade? 95 and above (for grade/high school) or 1.00/1.25 (for college).

What do you consider to be a bad grade? 85 and below or 2.00 and above.

Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? So many from my old school did. They were grown adults being pissy with a 12 year old; I will never understand that. They got away with it before but times have changed now, and I’m glad it’s for the better.

Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yeah. She was just fine, but I remember her having a bit of a temper. She’s mostly forgettable though and doesn’t rank in my favorites.

What's your favourite TV show? Breaking Bad.

In your opinion, who is the best looking celebrity out there at the moment? I’m incredibly out of the loop these days, so I’ll just go with my own biases: Kristen Stewart and Kate Winslet.

Do you like peanut butter cookies? Sure do. I do think there are better snacks that peanut butter can be incorporated in, but I wouldn’t turn down peanut butter cookies.

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Yeah, Angela with alcohol and Kate with eggs, fried chicken, and seafood. We feel particularly bad for Kate; those three things are all awesome :’(

Do you have an iPod? How many songs are on it? At the peak of my usage I probably had around 200-300 songs in it.

Who was the last person you slow danced with? I didn’t really do it with Gab a lot but I know she was the last. Kaye’s debut in 2017 if I remember correctly. There was a segment in her debut where couples were given the chance to slow-dance, but Gab and I decided against it because we were for sure going to get some looks, and we didn’t want to steal Kaye’s thunder. But she was so sweet to encourage us herself to go to the dance floor and have our moment amid all the straight couples that were there.

What was the last song you listened to on repeat? It was probably Why We Ever, as always. The lyrics are my entire thought process, so it’s a source of comfort knowing a song that understands me and my current situation so well.

What's your favourite song at the moment? I don’t have one.

Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones’ quality is great, but wearing them for too long ends up hurting my ears.

Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? I don’t ride our buses. Bus drivers here drive like madmen and don’t maintain their vehicles, meaning there’s no AC, it’s super cramped, and the seats are probably nasty as crap; and while I would be willing to ride the more premium bus services that we also have, I never really had a reason to considering I have a car and driving on my own has always been more convenient.

How do you get to school? I rode a school bus from grade school to high school. I drove myself in college.

Speaking of school, do you like it or hate it? Loved it for the most part.

Are you a social person? I mean I don’t think ‘social’ defines me as a person, but I definitely can be it. I like being around people.

Are you reliable? Yes. I don’t like being unable to meet tasks or deadlines or expectations so I always find a way to get a job done.

What person/people of the opposite sex do you trust the most? Not sure if there’s such a guy at the moment.

What person/people of the same sex do you trust the most? My best friend.

Do you say 'like' a lot? Haha yeah, especially verbally.

What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Midnight Sun. It’s great so far but it’s literally just like reading Twilight (because it is literally Twilight except told in Edward’s POV), which I’ve reread a handful of times, so my progress has been painfully slow. 

Do you buy CDs anymore, or just download the songs? I stream on Spotify then watch the music video on YouTube, if it has one.

What is your favourite beverage to have in the morning? Coffee. Slowly turning into a morning coffee person, y’all.

Do you scream out the answers will watching game shows on TV? If I know the answer, yeah. I just blurt it out though, not scream.

Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? I can think of one such person but apparently that sentiment is no longer reciprocated, and I’m now also thinking if it ever even was reciprocated to begin with.

Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? At this point, no. That entails so much patience, a lot of commitment, a suitable living situation, and honestly in most cases a lot of money as well...it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone will be capable of having those things and it takes a certain kind of love and home for kids like them to be raised in the best way they could possibly be raised.

Do you have a brother or a sister? If so, are you close with them? Yeah. I’m close with my sister but not in a she’s-my-rock kind of way. We just get along super well.

If you are an only child, do you ever wish you had siblings?

When was the last time you were with all of your best friends? February.

Do you ever go into photobooths? Sure.

Do you waste money on unneccesary things? Hahahahahahaha please don’t remind me

Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? No thanks. They can stay in the wild, where they can thrive.

[dillydedalus]

october reading

i finished my masters thesis this month (yay!) so while i still read quite a lot for escapism i was also operating on no more than 2 braincells at any time, and one of those braincells was just. continuously screaming. so any incoherence or whatever here is. because of that.

i am sovereign, nicola barker a fantastically weird & enjoyable novella about a house-viewing gone wrong that eventually blows up the novella form. i don’t want to give away the meta aspect too much, even tho it’s not entirely unpredictable, but it is so very entertaining and delightful to read. had such a fun time with this. also has a great cover. 4/5

the lifted veil, george eliot i’ve only read middlemarch by eliot, so a 75-page novella about the supernatural sure was... different. it’s fine, but nothing special imo. i enjoyed the first chapter, which sets up latimer, a soft young man with the gift of foresight/telepathy and his fascination with his brother’s fiancee, whose mind remains opaque to him (....twilight???), but the second half is pretty meh. 2/5

the notebooks of malte laurids brigge, rainer maria rilke (read the german obvi) loved the beginning of this, where morbid, too-intense, death-obsessed author-insert malte laurids brigge walks around paris, seeing everyone carry their death with them, which then makes him think of the deaths he has witnessed in his childhood. the parts about his childhood in a danish noble family were also good, but it really lost me with the overtly poetic, weird historical/religious stuff?? feel like this might have been a victim of termin master’s thesis like maybe that’s not the time for poetic, fragmentary, modernist-ish novels. 3/5

wie der soldat das grammofon repariert, saša stanišić (read in german, english translation by anthea bell) i really enjoyed stanišić‘s memoir herkunft last year so i went back to his 2006 classic, about a kid called aleksandar growing up in yugoslavia and eventually fleeing to germany as a refugee during the war. it’s very similar to herkunft in story, although the presentation is very different. honestly overall i found it a bit Too Much, too long & too stylised in its structure. but like, i can see why it’s so popular. 2.5/5

i capture the castle, dodie smith i really liked this! cassandra mortmain is a very strong narrator, the atmosphere of the dilapidated castle and the dysfunctional family are great, & i was surprised by the crushing poverty of the family in the beginning - cassandra obviously attempts to cover this up both in her own head & in her journal, but for much of the first half or so i was genuinely really worried for the kids - and this makes rose so much more sympathetic in her resolution to escape poverty. i was less convinced by the whole love quadrangle this book got going on, but on the whole this was very charming, but often very melancholy in a far deeper way than i expected. 4/5 

the death of vivek oji, akwaeke emezi my second emezi this year, altho sadly neither of them have lived up to the glory of freshwater. this one is about (gender) identity, grief, trauma, love, and solidarity/community based on otherness, which are similar thematically to freshwater, but in a novel that is, i would say, both more stylistically conventional and more hopeful/uplifting (altho it is still very depressing in parts). i enjoyed this on the whole, but it just doesn’t grab you by the throat the way freshwater does, and the reveal/central mystery just feels a bit lacking. 3/5

gott wohnt im wedding, regina scheer listen, this book is probably more competent & historically interesting than literarily great BUT it’s literally (literally) set around the corner from where i live, i know pretty much every single place & business mentioned in it & the house troubles are extremely relatable, if a lot worse than what i am currently experiencing. anyway. this novel is centered around a house in berlin-wedding & the people who live in it & it's about the holocaust & the porajmos, current discrimination against sinti&roma, the history of the wedding, gentrification, familial trauma & all that. it’s very interesting historically, slow but still very readable, and like.... i just really love the wedding! it’s kinda shitty & depressing but i love it!!! 4/5 the only good indians, stephen graham jones note: the elk in this book is not what you, a european, think of as an elk. that’s a moose. anyway, this is a horror novel about four native american men who hunt for elk when, where and how they shouldn’t have and ten years later find themselves pursued by a vengeful elk spirit. i enjoyed this! the scenes where shit goes down were certainly very horrible & gruesome & very sad as well. 3.5/5

solutions & other problems, allie brosh this book really is out there & exists. anyway hyperbole & a half was like, one of my formative internet things and i still love it a lot. this book is second only to the winds of winter in eternally getting pushed back and back and back, so this even getting published was def a pleasant surprise. it’s still really funny, and the weird ugly drawings are still amazingly effective, but this one is. very sad. some really bad shit happened to brosh inbetween and it’s kinda a downer (i mean the first one had the depression saga but this one... is darker). 3.5/5

a supposedly fun thing i’ll never do again, david foster wallace .....i might have to stan dfw, just a little bit. like, i read infinite jest when i was way too young to appreciate it (still traumatised by the uh. creative use of brooms tho) & i have NO intentions of ever rereading it BUT this essay collection was so good that i may just have to read a lot of his other stuff. particular highlights are the title essay, about a cruise journey, and an essay about the illinois state fair, two things that feel particularly fascinating and offputting in equal measure in this year of plague, where even the idea of being in enclosed spaces with many people freaks you out. but i also really appreciated his essays on david lynch & television & fiction, even if i don’t agree with all of his takes. he just has such a good voice! funny, smart, precisely observed but always with a strange spin. 4/5, minus points for too much tennis, but oh well

gruppenbild mit dame, heinrich böll (group portrait with lady) marcel reich-ranicki criticised this book for being, essentially, a sloppy mess and that’s kind of accurate - it’s definitely too long & a bit draggy & böll (and the narrator/“author”) go on tangents and into details with indulgence & abandon, but it’s also... kind of brilliant? the way the “author” collects material and testimony on leni (the lady), her family, coming-of-age and the love affair with a soviet forced labourer that made her an outcast, constructing a documented history of her while leni herself remains ever elusive, the focus on structure, architecture, construction, the endless loops of self-justification (pelzer’s insistance that he is not inhuman, the real estate tycoon’s insistence that they just want what’s best for leni & that her resistance to profit-logic is abnormal)... there’s so much in here, and a lot of it doesn’t need to be there, but a lot of it does. 3.5/5 

sweet fruit, sour land, rebecca ley very lyrical, quiet, feminist climate dystopia. it’s good, well-written, very evocative of hunger and loss, a dystopia but really more about grief and identity, and i read it during the last few days of my master’s thesis and thus have absolutely nothing to say about it. 3.5/5

i also & this will be a shock, dnf’d burning down the haus: punk rock, revolution & the fall of the berlin wall, a book about the east-berlin/german punk subculture. it just felt like a longform essay artificially extended into a 400-page book & the writing was pretty basic in a music bro tries to be deep and like, subversive and shit kinda way. 

[rosalind-of-arden]

Sword and Pen Reread, chapter 11

Oh shit it’s the Annis chapter. There will be tears.

For the ephemera, we have a letter from the Archivist of the Library of Pergamum to the Archivist of the Great Library. They consider each other rivals. This fits with real history, it looks like. What does it not fit with? The story Jess tells in Ash and Quill. In Jess’s story, the Library of Pergamum was a rival to the Great Library “in the early days”, but by the time the Romans came along to try and loot it, Pergamum was a Serapeum of the Great Library. Here’s another of those little inconsistencies suggesting that what we know of Library history is very heavy on the propaganda.

Eskander can sense Obscurists leaving the Iron Tower even if they aren’t wearing collars. Most stuff Obscurists can do, at least very powerful ones. 

Annis hates her collar but also feels uncomfortable without it. Probably a very common feeling among Obscurists.

“Don’t tell her I said she wasn’t fluent.” There’s just... so much relationship in this line, and I am incredibly sad that canon does not allow for Eskander/Annis to become a thing.

Language stuff: There is a text essential to understanding Heron’s Poseidon automaton that is written in Assyrian. Why not Greek?

Annis is literate in Assyrian. I feel like knowledge of obscure languages would be a popular thing in the Iron Tower. WTF else is there to do but learn languages to read more stuff?

Now, Eskander just said he’d know if Annis left the Iron Tower... but he can’t locate her. Is it that locating a person that precisely is impossible? Or is this our first hint that she’s dead? Obscurist powers work with life energy, so a dead person might be impossible to find. Eskander is exhausted and busy, and when he can’t detect Annis right away, he decides it isn’t worth the trouble when Morgan can just go look. It’s probably hard to pick one person out of a tower full of people. The guilt he must feel after this. That irritability might even be covering a bit of denial: he should be able to track her, he can’t, that’s not good, but he’ll assume it’s just that he’s tired and it’s difficult.

“He’d spent too many years a hermit to gladly bear regular interruptions.” Eskander trauma effects here.

Like Khalila, Eskander has set up in an old storeroom.

Obscurists Magni. Must remember this is the plural.

ANNIS! *cries* @eli-wray had some good thoughts on the narrative value of this death in their excellent reread post that I am failing at finding on this hellsite. I’ll just add that Caine didn’t kill many (named) characters in this book. Instead, she made a small number of deaths really count. Annis was one of the few remaining side characters who was genuinely likable, and it hurts to see her die.

Obscurist power can change doors into walls. Morgan can feel this happening. It takes “expert manipulation of quintessence, and prewritten formulae” to do this. Must eventually try to work out differences in what can and can’t be done without writing out formulae.

Morgan is just so shaken in this scene. She’s struggling to accept the reality of what’s happened, and she isn’t thinking effectively. If Annis is tied to a post and dead, what are the chances she still has her knife, Morgan? That’s how hard Morgan’s brain is fighting against acceptance.

Morgan can immediately sense when a Codex has been tampered with. Because she’s made her own untraceable, too.

The ex-Archivist had distinctively “eccentric” loops in his handwriting. Also, Gregory apparently used to wave orders from the Archivist around a lot when threatening Morgan - good to know for canon gap fic.

More Eskander trauma effects: he doesn’t always answer his Codex. Why would he? He isn’t used to people talking to him and might even have some anxiety about answering.

And that gets me thinking. Who else doesn’t always answer his Codex? Thomas. Who also only very recently got out of solitary confinement.

Magic ring can transmute a gun into its component parts and put up a protective field around Morgan. It can throw people back hard enough to knock them out. But Gargi only will do this when Morgan can’t handle the fight on her own.

Evil Obscurists used silencing spells to stay hidden.

Canon gap fic I want to see: Annis investigating the ex-Archivist’s conspirators in the tower. Even knowing it ends badly, it would be nice to see Annis have her badass spy moment.

Eskander’s Translation is loud. I don’t think Translation is described as loud anywhere else. He was able to Translate in right in front of Morgan, which means he could locate her.

Eskander is better at undoing other Obscurists’ work than Morgan. She can’t even figure out how he gets the silencing effect off.

More magic ring powers: altering air density to block bullets.

Ring pulls power “from the walls of the Iron Tower, from the generations of powerful Obscurists who had been born, lived, worked, and died here.” Confirmation that the Tower is drawing energy from the Obscurists, sounds like.

Eskander has had worse injuries than this gunshot in his youth.

Eskander-Santi parallels: guilt because they trusted someone for an important job and were betrayed, resulting in the death of an important person. Eskander assigned one of the traitors to investigate the tampering with the automata.

Morgan-Khalila parallels: as adults are injured/killed or turn out to be untrustworthy, they keep stepping up to higher positions of authority.

Morgan directs people to get Eskander to a Medica. Morgan is used to taking care of her adopted family and knows they will be dumbasses and not take care of themselves.

Iron Tower layout: 4th floor is for automata control. Staffed by 50, “working constantly on monitoring and rewriting commands.” Always this busy? Or is it because this is a crisis?

Sergeant Mwangi - Morgan’s new guard, someone to bring back post canon?

Chowdry and Salk. Obscurists Morgan trusts enough to work with her on the automata. How does she know them? Met during canon gaps in Smoke and Iron? Annis’s friends/partners?

Things a mirrored book can do, at least for an Obscurist: rearrange information according to requested criteria, overlay text for comparison, flag items with a verification code.

Signs that Morgan is not ok: mentally, she’s so absorbed in working on the automata that she can’t even parse the sound of screaming.

Multiple companies are responding to the Iron Tower attack. That’s how important it is.

Mwangi makes the critical mistake of telling Morgan not to do something. We all know how Morgan reacts to that sort of thing.

More shit Morgan can do: rearrange the chemistry of Greek fire to make it harmless. 

Oh look, the ex-Archivist plots to burn something important to the Library and Morgan risks herself to stop things from burning. Hello foreshadowing.

Iron Tower has a central open space.

Artifex forges are enhanced with scripts to make fire burn hotter.

Vanya Nikolin, the ringleader of the traitor Obscurists, used to do favors for Gregory. He was someone both Morgan and Eskander trusted. Probably acts like just an all around nice guy? Really, did either of them have enough experience with the other Obscurists to know who to trust? Annis might have been able to help them a bit in that area, but still.

Vanya has removed his collar and bugged out, heading for the Tomb of Heron.

What I didn’t see in this chapter? Energy vampire Morgan. Either the ring has fixed her, Eskander fixed her again, or she’s just gotten so damned used to the gnawing need for power that she barely notices it anymore. She’s exhausted, she’s having trouble focusing and processing information, but she’s not fighting compulsions to drain people.

[helenarlett-rex]

Goosebumps Review #5

It’s time for another review in my little project of rereading all those Goosebumps books I never got to as a kid. Although today I decided to go back and re-read one I actually did read as a kid because I wanted to refresh myself. 

(Spoilers… naturally…) 

Escape From The Carnival Of Horrors.

Give Yourself Goosebumps #1

This was the first book in the Give Yourself Goosebumps series. Basically taking Goosebumps and turning it into a choose your own adventure book. Which isn’t too much of a stretch when you consider that R.L. Stine wrote a number of choose your own adventure style books back when those were actually popular, before Goosebumps was even a thing. It’s a little odd that he decided to give Goosebumps the choose your own adventure treatment in 1995, years after the choose your own adventure fad had already died, but I’m glad he did. It’s nice to see Stine returning to this format because he’s great at it. The Give Yourself Goosebumps books were always my favorite Goosebumps.

So this is the Carnival of Horrors. Not to be confused with Horrorland. I know Horrorland has always been the more popular of the two evil theme parks in the Goosebumps universe, but as a kid I always liked the Carnival of Horrors better. And for that reason I have to give a shout out to Miss Reptilia, The Snake Lady! The monsters from Horrorland didn’t make it into the Goosebumps movie but Miss Reptilia did!

Nice to see The Carnival Of Horrors win one over Horrorland. 

The main character of this book, like in all the Give Yourself Goosebumps books, is you. Instead of creating a main character, the character is always just referred to as “you” and the story is told through first person perspective, generally never mentioning race, gender, or descriptive characteristics, allowing the reader to put themselves right in the story. You also have two friends named Patty and Brad, who are almost as much of a blank slate as you are. The story starts out with you, Patty and Brad sitting around bored one evening and deciding to ride your bikes out to the carnival being set up on the edge of town to scope it out before it opens. This is where you are given your first choice in the book and I feel a little cheated by that one. 

You are given the choice to either jump the fence or go back home and come back after they open. But if you decide to go home Patty overrides your derision and you end up jumping the fence anyways. Stine is literally all like, well I know I gave you a choice, but nothing will happen if you do that, so let’s just have you jump the fence anyways. It’s not the only time in the book where a choice turns out to be no choice at all, and normally it’s done for laughs and is in all honesty pretty funny. There is actually one page where it ends with… 

If you want to go on the Mountain King ride, turn to page 75.

or

If you want to go on the Mountain King ride, turn to page 75.

I had a little laugh about that, but it was being honest about the fact that I had no choice in the matter. But to trick me into thinking I had a choice, and then telling me that my choice was stupid and making me do the other thing instead… and to do that for the very first choice in the book… That made me feel cheated. 

Once you are in the carnival however you are quickly caught by Big Al, the carnival’s manager. He’s a huge man who is described as having shoulders wider than a refrigerator and solid black eyes, like lumps of coal. This should have been a clear tip that this guy isn’t human and you should probably get the hell out of there, but you and your friends are dumber than a box of rocks. So when instead of kicking you out, he instead offers to let you have free run of the carnival and “test everything out” before the grand opening, you all happily agree to it. And this is where the story and the choices that effect it actually starts. 

There are two overall story paths to take with lots of branching side paths from each one. Each of those two paths having their own good ending and a ton of bad endings. In total the book has 2 good endings, 1 okay ending, 1 time travel ending that just makes you start over from the beginning, 21 bad endings, and one no-ending where you get trapped in an endless loop flipping back and forth between the same two pages over and over with no way out. The first real choice in the book is what determines which of the two over all story paths you will embark on and which endings you are able to get. And this comes down to the simple choice of which part of the carnival do you want to check out first? The rides or the midway? (For those of you who don’t speak carnival, the midway is the area where the games, food, and other attractions are located and is generally set apart from the rides.) 

Every time I’ve read this book, both as a kid and now during my re-read, I’ve always started with the midway. It was already established before you were ever given the choice that the freak show was located there, and that the snake lady was a part of the freak show. And I just kind of have a thing for scaly reptile women… 

Once you have to start making choices the book gets really fun and R.L. Stine really shows his talent in the you choose genre, taking something that hasn’t been popular in several years and making it fresh and interesting. It’s almost more like playing a game than just reading a book where you pick the paths taken. The eventual true ending of the midway path (if you don’t get killed before getting there) leads up to you having to take Big Al’s “Final Challenge”. But if you just breeze through everything and get there too soon you are utterly screwed and have no way of passing it. You start to hit pages where it’s not just a simple matter of do you want to do this or that. Instead you need collected items to get through it. Have you already found a can of Monster Blood? If so, turn to this page. If not, turn to this page. (Yeah, stuff from other Goosebumps books shows up in this.) Oh you didn’t have any Monster Blood on you? Well looks like you are going to be reduced to bringing Slappy to life and asking him for help. (That’s right. Slappy.) Oh but bringing Slappy to life was clearly the worst mistake you could have made. No worries. You can still get out of this… if you already got the magic page number from the fortune teller. If you did turn to that page now. Oh you didn’t get that number? Then I guess you don’t know what page to turn to, do you? Guess you’re screwed. 

It creates a you choose book where you can’t just pick the options that sound the safest. You have to actually explore the park and do things you wouldn’t normally do in order to find the items and info you need to pass the “Final Challenge”. But at the same time it’s still risky because some of those choices are going to lead to situations you didn’t want. Helping the freaks could be a good thing, but getting too involved with them has just led to you being betrayed by the snake lady. Going in a certain direction is where you needed to go, but you got too carried away and went too far. Now you have wound up in Reptile Petting Zoo. Or wait… did that sign say Reptile Petting Zoo or Reptile’s Petting Zoo? Who’s petting who here? Maybe listening to every bad idea Patty had was only going to get you killed, but rejecting every single one of her ideas has only pissed her off and the carnival has already effected her back when you got separated. Now she’s not just mad at you, she has turned into a monster and started eating you alive. It’s all a very careful balance of how much of a risk do I take? Taking too much of a risk is only going to get you killed, but no risk at all and you’ll fail the challenge. And I’m sure you don’t want to fail the challenge… unless you like the idea of having you and your friends all stitched together and put in the freak show. 

Oh yeah, did I mention the Give Yourself Goosebumps series is a lot more disturbing and gruesome than the normal books? Give R.L. Stine a reason to write over 20 bad endings per book and he comes up with a lot of twisted and violent things to have happen to you, including (but not limited to) several very creative scenes of dismemberment. Although I think having my own best friend start ripping pieces of me off and eating them while I watched was probably the most disturbing one, for me anyways. 

Taking the other main path through the rides provides a slightly different kind of game. Instead of collecting items and info through the story needed to pass a challenge, the real world environment around you as you read the book effects a number of your choices. There are more than a few pages where Stine asks you to stop reading and check the world around you. Is it daylight outside? Then turn to this page. Is it night time? Turn to this page. Is it raining? Turn to this page. What day of the week is it? Turn to the corresponding pages. I mean there are still simple do you want to do this or that pages, but this story path is determined a lot by when and where you are reading the book. And in a way it’s pretty brilliant. 

The midway path is like playing a game. You have to do and find things in order to pass and get the good ending. Reflecting the fact that a midway is filled with games. While the rides path is determined by outside environments you have no control over. Reflecting that fact that once you are strapped into a ride you have no control and are at the mercy of the ride. 

The good ending on the rides path is a bit more thematic than the good ending from the midway path and I can understand why people would call that one the one true ending of the book. But the over all story of the Carnival Of Horrors itself can’t be learned from any one ending on it’s own. I had to read through the book a number of times and get every ending in able to part together the full story and learn the Carnival’s dark secret. That being that the Carnival Of Horrors is a supernatural place that appears in a different location (and even different time) ever night and vanishes again on the twelfth stroke of midnight. Anyone still inside the carnival once that happens is trapped inside the carnival forever, traveling with it wherever it appears and never able to leave it’s gates. Big Al and his more willing followers actively try to trap more with every stop, and they don’t really care how they do it. They could just keep you trapped inside until after midnight, or they could kill you. You can work as one of the new carnies as a ghost just as easily as you can alive. Either way, you aren’t leaving before midnight. 

And I think that little fact makes Carnival Of Horrors far scarier than Horrorland could ever be. If you die in Horrorland, at least your worries are over. But in the Carnival Of Horrors death is still no escape. Even if you die there you still aren’t getting out. You will still be trapped there as a ghost, still under Big Al’s power, still forced to work in the carnival for all of eternity.

[thiskindofshootingstar]

Spoiler Culture isn't New or Bad, You Guys Just Like to Hate on Pop Culture

Okay, I have a major issue with people talking shit about "sPOiLeR cuLtUre" ruining media (and almost always using the MCU and the Russo brothers as examples)

Because there is a difference between having a twist or major character death in a piece of media that you've been excited to experience for the first time being spoiled so that you can't experience the emotional journey as intended but you'll still see it anyway just will go in differently and everything will be tinged with that knowledge of what is coming and it changes the experience of the media without ruining the story

and a piece of media being built solely on shocking their audience so that if the plot points or ending gets out it completely negates people's desire to watch it and literally ruins the entire piece for the audience because it was cheap and there was no building or lasting emotional journey and impact, it was all done for the shocking ending that nobody saw coming and thus won't watch again because it's pointless *cough* gameofthrones *cough*

I have read stories about people reading Harry Potter, and waiting in line at a book store to get the sixth book the day it came out, and then some absolute asshole that flipped to the end just shouts out that Dumbledore dies spoiling it for everyone that was so excited to read the book! Does that make JK Rowling a bad writer because people had the sixth book spoiled? Does that lessen the writing of the book and make it "cheap" because there was a twist at the end that you didn't see coming until it happened and then it all made sense?

The answer is a big, fat, resounding, NO

I don't care if we all know that Harry defeats Voldemort, but reading/seeing Harry sacrifice himself in order to do so, in order to protect his friends, is so powerful and heart wrenching, that experience would've been less so and dare I say ruined if people spoiled that beforehand with declarations or gifs before someone had read or seen it. If I had known Charlie died in Lost, that Zuko jumped in front of a lightning bolt to save Katara, that Jake was going to propose to Amy during the Halloween Heist before seeing it, when I was eagerly following the series, I would've been so upset and it would've changed how I experienced the series' and those scenes. Because everyone wishes they could go back to re-read or re-watch their favorite series for the first time again because it's a completely different experience going through something for the first time, not knowing what happens and feeling the joy or fear or tension or heartbreak as something happens, versus going back through knowing what happens and reading or watching everything with that knowledge. Rewatches and rereads are fun, don't get me wrong, ESPECIALLY when it's a well crafted story wherein going back through you pick up on little hints and foreshadowing that you completely missed or dismissed the first go through but now you know and it gives it that much more meaning. But if you start out knowing, and looking for all those signs ahead of time, you've missed out on experiencing it for the first time. And what spoilers do, is they take away that first time from you before you even get to watch it or read it.

And honestly this is why I hate people harping on the MCU for trying to avoid spoilers

Because if I had been told that 100% Tony Stark dies sacrificing himself to save everyone and Steve Rogers wields Mjolnir and then goes back in time to live his life and passes the shield onto Sam... I would've been disappointed. Not because it ruined the movie-- on the contrary I would've been relieved and happy to know that, because I like that and wanted some of those things to happen--but because I didn't get to experience those big moments in real time: the pure excitement at seeing Cap wield the hammer for the first time, the tension of the big battle worrying for my favorites and dreading to see which one(s) succeeded in sacrificing themselves for the world, the pure and sudden grief at seeing Tony dying and his loved ones saying goodbye. And I went into Endgame, just like everybody else, expecting Tony and Steve to die. I was honestly more shocked that Steve lived than I was that Tony died. But if someone had told me flat out with 100% certainty or if I had seen gifs of these scenes before I saw the movie I would've been upset because that surge of emotion at experiencing something as it happens would've been taken from me because the first experience wouldn't have been seeing mjolnir fly back to... Captain America! On a giant screen in a packed theater where everyone screamed and clapped and lost their minds! (Even though I read the comics where Steve wielded mjolnir) Instead it would've been a shitty quality 3 inch 3 second looping animation seen alone with no narrative build or tension. The pure enjoyment of that scene would've been spoiled. And not in the way of making it pointless, because you can bet your soul I will watch that scene 100s of times and reblog every gif I see of it. But because I didn't get to see it the way I wanted to, the way it was intended.

And here's the thing. 99% of the population does NOT want the plot points of their favorite shows and movies and books spoiled for them. Creators actually reaching out to encourage people to be respectful of others who aren't able to buy tickets the day they go on sale or go to the pre screening or wait in line for hours is a GOOD thing. Would you prefer that the Russos sent out a fucking postcard with Steve holding mjolnir and Tony wearing the Gauntlet a year before the movie came out? No, you wouldn't. Just like you would've hated if JK Rowling put Dumbledore's death on the cover of book six, or the Avatar season 3 preview showed Zuko's coronation with Aang by his side. It's not Marvel's fault it's the big pop culture series this decade (well technically it is because they make fun movies but you know what I mean), but it is, and I guess that means it's the one that gets pointed to when someone wants to criticise pop culture (never mind that DC is the same way but the only difference is no one actually cares enough to worry about spoilers for their movies). Because ultimately that's what it all boils down to, all the claims about *insert popular fantasy/scifi series with a happy ending here* is ruining art and culture are just elitist critiques that either think life is pointless and thus media should be too or that art should be conceptual and everything should be a theme or a metaphor or a reflection, both lines of thinking get off at being the "only ones that get it" i.e. no one likes what they like because it actually elicits no emotional reaction.

The only reason people speak out against "spoiler culture" now is because of the internet. Because let's face it, when half blood prince came out you were unlucky to be at a place where a jerk decided to spoil the ending just for kicks. But in this day and age, you can't go to work or drive your car or check the weather without seeing things about the latest movie or episode. So creators have to make an effort to keep things under wraps so that people are able to enjoy and experience things like they're intended to be experienced by the audience for the first time. And as a writer I can tell you that if I wrote something that was then spoiled for my fans I would be sooo upset. Because people put effort into stories and even though everyone will have different opinions on them, the one constant is the structure, the chronological, time-based nature of stories that everyone is supposed to experience the same way, in the same order.

So you can keep your cold takes that "spoiler culture" is ruining media and storytelling. Because it's not. (Forbes literally said Endgame was a better movie than last year's Oscar winner.) The only thing ruining media is creators not caring about their audiences or their content.

[terramythos]

Now that I am finally through the 12 book odyssey that was catching up/rereading the October Daye series here's a post of my general thoughts. (ADVANCED spoilers. Like I don’t hold anything back, lol). 

A. Just for fun, my favorite books tended to be the ones where shit (especially Lore Shit) went down in a Really Big Way. My top 5 for that...  

1. The Winter Long (#8). I don’t think you can beat this one in sheer fuckery. Two MAJOR twists that basically change everything up to this point in the series, and they’re both dropped pretty casually. One, Simon Torquill is maybe not as evil as previously thought? and is also Toby’s step-dad? Whoops? And number two-- fucking EVENING, the fucking throwaway character killed in book one-- isn’t even dead AND she’s a fucking Firstborn and also a total piece of shit. God. It was a ride re-reading book one because there are so many hints (my favorite line: “no one knew her true face” YEAH OCTOBER, YOU SURE AREN’T WRONG). I pointed it out but even the Shakespeare quotes of books 1 and 8 foreshadow this shit. That in particular was 999-level fuckery. 

2. The Brightest Fell (#11). I was not expecting this book to gut punch me so hard. Like, everything goes to shit, obviously, and the consequences of that stretch well into the next book. But then to give Simon a genuine redemption arc, to invest in that so emotionally, and somehow find a way to end it in a WORSE way than him just dying? That stuck with me. I was so fucking upset I just couldn’t do anything of value for like a day. So that’s how you know it’s good I guess! :D 

3. An Artificial Night (#3). God what do you even say about this one. It’s where shit really starts getting real for the whole series. It’s creepy and more fantastical than the first few books and you learn more about The Firstborn and what they’re capable of. There’s a lot that’s just viscerally traumatic too. Literal children being twisted into horrific monsters. And if I’m right, I think the whole series is going to loop back to this one in a big way. There are so many... mentions and (dare I say) hints dropping even now about Blind Michael.  

4. One Salt Sea (#5). I mean, a lot of stuff happens in this one that ultimately ties into book 12, but a really major character gets killed off, Rayseline is taken out of commission, the Undersea gets introduced, and you learn what the hell is up with the Selkies. I really truly believe the epilogue chapter of this one is some of the best writing in the series, it’s so well put together and has such great beats. Idk like it was a tossup between this one and Ashes of Honor (#7), but while the latter had some of my favorite bits I think this one had a lot more. 

5. Night and Silence (#12). Maybe it’s cause it’s the most recent one and the most fresh in my mind, but DAMN. Kinda like The Winter Long this one had two big twists, and while they weren’t as major they really defined the book. The whole Janet thing I really and truly did not see coming and has some BIG implications for everything we know. Amandine’s a changeling! What the fuck! Gillian being very decisively rewritten into the series (and turned into a Selkie) was ALSO not something I saw coming in any way, shape, or form. This one really fired me up wondering where things are going next. 

B. I mentioned it but GOD the Simon thing made me so viscerally upset! I don’t think I’ve run into a series that approached a redemption arc that way. You take a character who’s pretty much evil, then start making it way more gray. Was he a bad guy? Yeah... but he had a reasonable motive. Is he still a bad guy? Yeah kinda, but he seems to genuinely want to change, and actually assists the heroes without ulterior motive. OK, so then he comes  back a few books later as the deuteragonist and gets a whole lot of character development, and he starts to improve. You even get a concrete indicator that the horrible shit that corrupted him is going away. And then, when he ultimately reaches his goals? He’s forced to give it all away, to turn back into the monster he’d been, in order to do the right thing. Fucking unreal. I’m fully aware this is to make the whole “finding Oberon” stakes more personal but it hurt, man! 

C. My vampire crack theory is pretty much dead, so rest in peace, that.

D. OK so what is with the month names? Seriously. You can explain it away a little bit with the whole “fae like to honor people but don’t like to reuse names” shit but there’s absolutely no way it’s that simple. They’re all female characters who are related, however slightly, to the Torquills. I made that observation pre-book 8, but dismissed it because Toby wasn’t technically related to them. ONLY AS OF BOOK 8 SHE IS, SO CHECKMATE. THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, DAMN IT. Anyway I like making lists, so... 

1. January -- January O’Leary, She’s September’s daughter, and she gets killed off in book 2. This might be enough for me to dismiss the month name thing except the epilogue of 11 brings her Back to Fucking Life, so honestly all bets are off imo, she was absolutely brought back for a reason. 

2. February -- no one.. yet. 

3. March -- no one.. yet. 

4. April -- April O’Leary, January’s adopted daughter. She’s a cyber-Dryad and we see her perspective briefly when January gets resurrected. I’m not sure what else to say about her in relation to this? 

5. May -- May Daye, October’s blood clone (basically). I mean, her whole existence is pretty weird. You could make the argument her name is just a coincidence (she was once a night haunt named Mai), but there’s absolutely no way I’m buying that. 

6. June -- no one.. yet. 

7. July -- Gillian Marks-Daye. October’s daughter. I mean. I was going to say “no one”, but she just got decisively re-written into the series. “Gillian” is the feminine form of “Julius”. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be the dark-horse contender for this slot. No way that’s a coincidence. 

8. August -- August...Torquill? She’s Simon’s biological daughter and Toby’s half-sister, so.... She was ALSO introduced pretty late, unlike most of these entries, so I am still convinced this is A Thing. 

9. September -- September Torquill. She’s Simon and Sylvester’s sister. Also like, decisively dead I think. She hasn’t shown up in the main series (only mentioned), but I think she shows up more in the short stories? I don’t know enough about her to say much. 

10. October -- October “Toby” Daye. Like. That’s the name of the series. She’s the main protagonist, dawg. She’s Simon’s step-daughter. What more do you want from me. 

11. November -- no one.. yet. 

12. December -- no one.. yet. 

E. So where is the series going? Obviously next book is about The Luidaeg finally calling in the Selkies’ blood debt or whatever, which we knew was coming for a long time. But #12 just made that way more personal with the whole Gillian thing. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that. Beyond that? There are some loose ends here and there, but the big thing is Oberon coming back. That’s pretty much a given. If I’m right, I think the consequences of Book 3 are going to start showing soon, but idk if it will be in relation to that or not. I’m sure she can come up with way more to put into the series (maybe a book around Toby and Tybalt getting married? SOMETHING THAT EXPLAINS THE MONTH NAMES???), but that’s all that’s really evident to me. 

F. So, the characters. They’re probably my favorite bit of the series. The Luidaeg and Tybalt are undoubtedly my faves, but I’ve really enjoyed seeing how Toby, Quentin, and May have grown over the course of the series. I know I mentioned this previously, but I really like how the series’ initial allies end up... not being allies, so much-- whether by getting killed off or severely disappointing Toby. Sylvester, Evening, Luna, Lily, and Connor all pretty much disappear or greatly alter their role in the story. 

Yet the main cast, the “found family” the series focuses on? Pretty much none of them started out even liking each other that much. Quentin is a snotty noble kid, Tybalt is straight up an antagonist who HATES Toby, The Luidaeg is just plain terrifying, and May is some bizarre doppleganger that (seems to) randomly show up. Yet over time they’ve forged into such a strong and really likeable crew. Idk, it really gives me the feeling that it’s not just FOUND family, but EARNED family, and I really like that. 

G. While we’re discussing characters, I want to talk about The Luidaeg in particular. 

I think she’s probably one of my favorite characters of all time. That’s a high bar but she is just so damn INTERESTING. Morally gray for sure, but not in a traditional way. 

Like, she clearly has her own agenda. She’s probably the oldest character in the series, and she’s fucking terrifying. People use her name to warn their kids at night. We see samples of her powers and the things she knows, and she’s basically a walking eldritch horror. A great deal of the series is her calling in and collecting debts from the main characters so she can use them for one purpose or another. She’s the fucking sea witch. Right? 

Except... the series humanizes her so much. She is clearly kind and compassionate and does her best to hide it. While she initially intimidates the main characters, Toby gradually realizes she’s lonely and seems to enjoy their company. Every single bit of her backstory you get adds more context to her behavior. She’s protective of children because hers were slaughtered like animals. She speaks in riddles because there are so many things she’s forbidden to say. She asks for terrible prices because she HAS to help anyone who will ask her to, and there are certain things she doesn’t want to do (and often, it’s because said things would harm others). This is also why she’s so standoffish and avoidant of others-- because they take advantage of her. Despite all the horrible shit that’s happened to her, she still does her best to be kind and do the right thing. And her ultimate goal, I feel, must be a good one. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me. 

There’s more. A lot of what she does is clearly calculated to achieve a particular result. She mostly shows kindness to certain members of the main cast (Toby and Quentin in particular) and very few others. It’s always interesting to see how she interacts with other characters, because it closely mirrors her initial behavior. Yet even then you see little things, like how she took in Poppy as an apprentice. One of the few times you get her perspective, it’s when she realizes Amandine is abusing and literally killing child!October, and you see how horrified she is, enough that she steps in and puts a stop to it. Does she have a use for Toby down the line? Yeah, obviously, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t do the right thing for the right reasons. I suppose it’s possible she’s just manipulating everyone, but the stories like that and her blood memories make me feel otherwise. Also, the amount of human profanity she uses is pretty funny, since so few characters use it. 

Honestly this may seem like an odd comparison but she reminds me of Akane from Zero Escape. She’s playing the long con, and a lot of what she does seems strange and mysterious until you get more context. And she clearly has some ultimate goal she’s working toward (probably something to do with finding Oberon), but we won’t really know what that means until it happens. It’s probably going to be an emotional rollercoaster. 

There’s more to her than that, but I find it hard to articulate. I just really like her! Pretty much every scene she shows up in is interesting, because she has intriguing lore, dialogue, or insights. She’s almost certainly a big focus in the next book and I don’t know if that means I’ll love her or hate her at the end, lol. 

H. Much shorter note, but Toby/Tybalt? How DARE you make me care about a M/F ship THIS MUCH. They’re just so good. The ultimate slow burn Enemies to Grudging Allies to Friends to Lovers. It’s such a ride and a treat to read. Their early interactions are fucking hilarious on a reread. And I find myself caring so much about what happens to them. 

I. I think this is my last point, but I REALLY appreciated the LGBT rep in the series. There’s obvious stuff like “all the fae are bi unless stated otherwise”, but there’s a really good amount of overt rep. May’s a lesbian, Madden’s gay, Quentin’s bi, and no one bats an eye. It’s AWESOME. Also, making Walther (a certified badass and cool character) a trans man was just wonderful. The fact that he goes on right after the reveal to do one of the biggest Lore things (curing motherfucking elf-shot) is the best. I really like Walther and we need more characters like him. 

I’m probably missing SOMETHING, but idk. These were my main thoughts on the series as a whole. I’m interested to see where things go. 

[nicolemagolan]

Books I Read In March 2019

This was a month of 3 stars reads. A range of ‘eh pretty good’ to ‘meh pretty okay’...3 star reads are always weird to review, because I have no passionate argument to why you should/shouldn’t read it. It was okay. It was entertaining. But I’ve probably forgotten most of it already.

I dived into a few different genres; horror, fantasy, science fiction, and dystopian. And of course, I had to spend some time in the Star Wars galaxy. If you’re interested in my in-depth thoughts, keep reading!

Dracula by Bram Stoker

3/5 stars

I wasn't sure how I would feel about Dracula, as I went in with a particular set of expectations due to the story’s popularity -- and I honestly didn’t think I would enjoy it. But it turned out to be a highly entertaining and engaging story. It has a gothic and spooky atmosphere which it is of course famous for, but it wasn’t as focused on the horror as I feared. I was surprised and intrigued to find that Dracula himself is not the main character. He is a figure shrouded in mystery that brings together the various cast of characters. The story is told through journal entries and letters, and the format is well-utilized. Sometimes this kind of thing can slow the pacing or drag on, but here it works well, slipping smoothly from character to character. I loved the first half of the book; the build up of the mystery surrounding Dracula was excellent. Unfortunately, once the main conflict was resolved, the book continued by rehashing the same plot line. That crisis is over? Well then lets have another one that is exactly the same and no longer has tension. Great! This time it was boring and frustrating. The damsel in distress trope was used to an unbearable extent. The long-awaited climax of the novel was over in approximately half a paragraph. I had to read it three times to be sure I hadn't missed something; I was so confused that it had ended just like that. Very disappointing. The chapters leading up to the big final confrontation felt like filler in comparison. This did not, however, lessen my enjoyment of the first half and particularly the first 50 pages of Dracula. I'm glad I read it. If it intrigues you, the go right ahead! 

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

3/5 stars

With well woven narratives and atmospheric settings, Spinning Silver is an enchanting loose retelling of Rumpelstiltskin -- one of my favourite fairy tales. The way the elements of the original story were incorporated was quite clever and unexpected.

But here’s the thing about Rumpelstiltskin: it’s real short. And this novel is hefty. The story here is spread thin. While I enjoyed the first half of the book, at the half way point the story began to drag, and because I hadn’t been able to connect to the characters, soon I lost interest entirely. 

Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl

3/5 stars

Neverworld Wake is a fast paced, emotional ride. We follow a group of teens who used to be close friends but parted ways after one of them died in mysterious circumstances. They get stuck in a time loop, and their only way out is to uncover the truth of what happened the night their friend died. In typical small-town murder fashion, each character is hidjing secrets and ulterior motives. I loved the way it unravelled; it constantly kept me guessing. The science fiction aspect was not sidelined, nor did it take over the story, and I found that it was balanced very well with the drama. The plot is driven by the main character, her choices, her discoveries, her emotions. She was well-realised and I enjoyed reading through her voice. The other characters, however, came off a little flat. There wasn't a whole lot of description in this book, which made the plot move very quickly, but I had no idea what anyone looked like or how they functioned. The main character's relationship with each of them was distant, which added to the detachment I felt. The ending was handled well in terms of pacing and dramatic effect...but it was pretty predictable. Left me like, yup okay. It didn't have that emotional punch I was waiting for. A shame, but overall this was a great read. Definitely recommend if you want a quick and fun read!

The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman

DNF (Did Not Finish)

The concept of The Invisible Library is absolutely brilliant. Time travelling, dimension hopping librarians collecting rare manuscript from all over the universe. 

This literally sounds like the nerdy book of my dreams.

But unfortunately, I only made it 150 pages in before I had to put it down. I just wasn’t enjoying it at all, and reading it quickly became a chore. The writing style was info-dumpy and extra-wordy, making it hard to get a grasp on the setting. The characters failed to capture me, and the story was meandering. I found no reason to continue.

Perhaps this book had a great ending. Alas, I will never know.

Star Wars: Rebel Rising by Beth Revis

3/5 stars

Star Wars audiobooks are always a treat. The production quality is top notch, and Rebel Rising is no exception; great music, narration, and sound effects.

The story was one I didn’t know I wanted: a prequel’s prequel, this follows a young Jyn Erso, the lead character of the film Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. I’m not the biggest fan of RO, namely because the characters are flat and boring. I don’t really want to have required reading before seeing a film; both should stand on their own (a problem I’ve had with many of the Star Wars novels). Remarkably, in this case they do.

Jyn is a wonderfully realised character and her arc does not pull punches. She really goes through a lot. It’s pretty brutal. Her view of the world evolves with the story, leading her to the point where she is in RO. It was a fascinating journey.

Still, I can’t give this book more then a solid 3 stars because the romance, and original side characters all got on my nerves. They were not engaging, and pulled me right out of the story. 

But on the plus side, I think this book does add depth to the film while managing to stand entirely on its own. 

The Walking Dead, Issue #189: Lines Are Drawn by Robert Kirkman, Cliff Rathburn (Illustrator), Stefano Gaudiano (Illustrator), Charlie Adlard (Illustrator), and Dave Stewart (Illustrator)

3/5 stars

The Walking Dead comics keep trucking along. This was a better issue than the last, with the current ‘commenwealth’ story line finally feeling like it might go somewhere.

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m still bothering to read this series. I’m no longer invested in the world or the characters. I guess out of obligation -- it’s been a part of my life for so very long. Though, I’ll give this issue props for including a touching moment between Rick and Carl. Those sorts of moments are what built my love for this series, and it’s good to know they’re still tucked in there.

I have a few other books I’ve already started, and so far so good. I decided to reread an old favourite and let me tell you, it was a great idea. Come back in a months time to hear about it! Here’s hoping next month will have a few higher rated reads!