#I would promise myself tomorrow but between work and uni

[ajokeformur-ray]

I wanna watch Joker but it’s 11pm and I gotta be up at 5 for work hhhhhh why do I only ever wanna do things when I can’t?🥺🥺🥺

[pentopaper23]

"Promise me"

Taking place one year after their parents deaths, Anthony and Benedict fight about his returning to school for the new term.

Modern AU

Ages: Anthony - 19. I keep Anthony's age the same as the book. It just works with the idea that he is old enough to have custody of the siblings and attend Uni. The book states he was 18 when Edmund died.

Benedict - 15. I aged our boy down a little. Not by much but enough, he was 16 in the book when Edmun died.

Colin - 10. I keep Mr World Wide the same age. He was 10 in the book when Edmund died.

“Brother please!” Benedict yelled leaning forward to try and get Anthony too look up from the reports he was reading. When he didn’t look up quick enough, the report he had been reading was ripped out of his hand and slammed down on the table. Standing up he too leaned on the desk and stared down his brother.

“Benedict, you must go back to school! This is not up for discussion!” Anthony yelled firmly slamming his fist down on his desk in the study. What has started as a simple conversation about what time the car would be there in the morning to take his younger brothers back to Harrow has turned into an argument that has Anthony counting to 10 in his head.

“You do not get to decided that for me!” Benedict yelled back lashing out at a pile of paperwork neatly stacked on the desk. The white sheets explored into the air and silently floated down around the two of them to cover the floor in budget reports and legal documents relating to the Estate.

“Very fucking mature!” Anthony yelled back rounding the desk to stand in front of his brother. Chest to chest Benedict was taller than Anthony, but what Anthony lacked in height he made up for with a harden glare and firm upper lip. The glare was something he had always had, but the firm lip was new. Something that he had learnt in the six months, between comforting his siblings to attending meeting about the running of the Estate. But right now, it was in place in the hopes that it would stop him from knocking his brother he ground and thrashing some sense into him.  

“You will be downstairs at 8am tomorrow morning with you bags packed and a smile on your face for the girls. Do. You. Understand?” Anthony spat out. Later he would dwell on the harshness of his tone and the way that Benedict’s lower lip wobbled. But now in this moment he needed to be more then a brother that wished to reach out and comfort his younger sibling. He needed to be the head of a crumbling household. A household that he was barely keeping together.

“You’re not them,” Bendict whispers with venom. Anthony felt his stomach drop and had to bite his tongue to stop a harsh retort from escaping. He asked Benedict to repeat what he said even though he heard him clear enough the first time.

“You’re not them!” Benedict had yelled with tears forming in his eyes.

“You think I don’t know that, Benedict! You think I fucken wanted this!” He yelled throwing his arms out to gesture to the messy study. “I must be! For this family to stay intact I must be them!” He yelled and felt his anger peak when Benedict rolled his eyes and shook his head. “We are done with this conversation. You WILL be downstairs at 8am with you bags packed and a smile for the girls. I will not repeat myself” Anthony said firmly. For a moment the two brothers stared each other down. One set of tear-filled green eyes locking with one set of anger filled brown ones.  

“Fuck you!” Benedict seethed and shoved Anthony back so that he fell against the desk with a painful shout. Anthony’s patience for this conversation had finally run out and he grabbed Benedict’s arm to stop him from leaving. What he wasn’t prepared for was the fist that came flying at his face with surprising force for 16 years old. He stumbled back again with a pained shout and let go of his brother’s arm. Shaking his head trying to shake away the black dots that were floating around in his eyes, and he saw Benedict fling open the study door and exit through it. He heard his heavy footsteps as they stomped across the entry way and up the stairs. He clenched his jaw at the sound of Benedict slamming his bedroom door shut and ran his hands through his hair. Coping his brother's temper tantrum he slammed the study door shut so hard the family portrait that hung by it rattled in it's frame. 

With a scream he turned towards his desk and swiped everything off it with a rage filled swing of his arms. Papers again explored into the air; a computer monitor went sliding off only to be stopped from hitting the ground by its cord. With another scream he threw a crystal whiskey decanter at the wall and watched as the glass and liquor covered the floor. Panting he sunk down against the bookcase and drew his knees up to his chest. He buried his face into his arm and sobbed. He wasn’t them; he couldn’t never be them and yet here he was. 21 years old with 7 siblings to look after and an estate to not run into the ground. Benedict was right, he wasn’t them.

To say he was surprised to find Benedect in the entrance hall with his bags packed and with his Eton school uniform on would be an understatement. Mrs Wilson was fussing over Colin’s hair, and he could see Humboldt and John loading their Eton trunks and bags into the family’s Range Rover. Benedict was standing there coldly looking anywhere but Anthony, his eyes redlined with dark bags under them. The patter of feet behind him and the smile that didn’t reach Benedict’s eyes announced the arrive of their sisters. Mrs Wilson was just able to sidestep before Fran threw herself into Colins arms, he laughed and spun her around. Benedict had to have the same reflexes for when Eloise threw herself into his arms and embraced him. Daphne never the one for over emotional goodbyes hugged each brother and made them promise to behave and call every week.

The laughs soon turned to sobs as the two younger girls refused to be taken out of their brother’s arms and it took the nanny and Daphne to pry them away and retreat to the nursery. Anthony could see tears welling in Colin and Benedict’s eyes are they watched their sisters disappear up the stairs, each of them craning their necks to get once last look at their siblings.

“All ready my Lord” John said from the front door. Anthony nodded in thanks and motioned for his brothers to follow him outside. He pulled them aside when they reached the car and waited for Humboldt to get in and shut his door. He placed a hand on each of his brother’s shoulders and spoke softly to them.

“Promise you will behave this term. You each have money in your school accounts but if you need anything let me know okay. I will try and come by when I’m at Uni this term but I’m not sure when that will be. Do your homework, make sure your ties are done how I showed you and look out for each other. You promise?” He asked leaning down to look into Colin’s eyes and glanced over at Benedict. Colin whispers a tear filled yes and threw himself into Anthony’s arms for a hug. He held the younger boy tightly and took a deep breather to rein in his own tears. He pressed a kiss to the top of Colin’s head and pushed him back so that he could speak again.

“You call me okay, any time you want. Both of you,” he said looking up at Benedict trying to convey that he included him in this statement. “Go on you, get in the car.” He said to Colin and with a soft ruffle of his hair Colin walked away to get in the car. Benedict turned to follow him, but Anthony stopped him. “Ben wait.”

Benedict turned back to look at his brother with a blank face, “What?” he asked in a clipped tone.

“Do you think I enjoy this? Sending you and Colin away. I dread this day. Every term.”

“Then why do you do it, I am old enough to not go. Don’t make me go” he begged. Anthony could see that his chest was starting to rise quicker and quicker with each breath and he pulled him into his embrace.

“Follow my breathing, Benny. In and out” he said rubbing the younger boys back, “Everything will be fine, me and girls will be right here when you return home after terms finished.”

“Will you? You promise?” Benedict said quietly in-between his strained breathing. Anthony held him tighter and nodded.

“I promise” he said pulling back when he felt his brother calm down. He held Benedict’s face in-between his hand and placed a kiss on his forehead. Benedict gifted him a small smile and left to get in the car. Anthony stood and watched the car drive down the long drive and craned his neck so he could watch it turn right onto the main road. When it was out of sight, he ran his hand threw his hair and walked back inside.

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[juniorgman187]

Serpent of Eden (Part 1 - Reid Series)

Maybe he stole her innocence. Maybe she never had any . . .

Summary: Reader’s one night stand with Spencer turns into a year-long semester. (yes, for all you PLL fans, this is largely based off of Ezra and Aria don’t @ me)

A/N: Strongly suggest listening to “From Eden” by Hozier while reading 😌 Couple: Fem!Reader x Professer Spencer Reid  Category: Fluff, Angst, Series Content Warning: allusions to teacher/student relationship, age-gap, allusions to penetrative, public sex Word Count: 3k

BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO @andiebeaword​ @inkstainedwritergirl​ @thelovelyrose​ and @imagining-in-the-margins​ for their help with the title!! 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Babe

There's something tragic about you

I’d been absentmindedly humming the song as soon as I heard the opening tune, giving the song more attention than the impatient bartender in front of me who had to wave her hand in my face to bring me back to earth. 

“Hello?” She set her weight on one hip, clearly annoyed with me. “What do you want to drink?”

“Oh, right, sorry. Just a water please.” 

Mild humiliation manifested on my face, earning the concern of the stranger beside me. 

“You okay down there?”

I laughed softly to mask my shame. “I’m a bit jet-lagged. I just got back from Europe.”

I hadn’t noticed him sitting there before, probably because I practically slept-walked into this place by happenstance, but once I answered him, my eyes naturally drifted in his direction. Consequently, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. 

Something so magic about you

Don't you agree?

He was charming in the most peculiar way. His hair was a mess of curls, that I positively adored for a reason I couldn’t quite figure out; a stark contrast to his clean suit that targeted my insatiable desire for sharply dressed men. 

“Where in Europe?” He asked with genuine curiosity, sipping from a mug with steam floating out of it. 

“Iceland.”

He raised his eyebrows in earnest surprise. “I heard it’s beautiful there.” 

“It really is. The waterfall we visited was insane. Here, lemme show you a picture,” Pulling out my phone, I leaned over the seat between us to show him a photo I’d taken of the waterfall, not even realizing how close he was until I smelled his cologne. It was such a unique scent that I knew I could only ever associate it with him, even if I were to never smell it again.

There's something lonesome about you

Something so wholesome about you

Get closer to me

I brushed aside the nervousness I felt from his close proximity and slid back into my rightful spot a seat away. “You should definitely go if you’re considering it. I’m planning on going back this summer.” 

“Yeah, I’m, um, I’m definitely considering it.” He grinned, displaying a pair of dimples that made me weak. I let myself wonder if I was the reason he was considering going. 

Unconsciously, I turned my bar seat fully towards him, showing that he had my undivided attention, and asked, “So do you go to Hollis?” Referring to the college just nearby that I attended. 

“No, no. I graduated ages ago, but um, I work at Quantico.” 

“Quantico? Like FBI Quantico?”

“That’s right. I’m, uh, I’m a profiler for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. We specialize -”

“In building profiles for unidentified criminals. No, yeah, I totally know what you do! At the law firm I work at, the prosecutors use profiles all the time. That’s so cool that you do that.” 

He wasn’t even mad that I’d interrupted him, no, he was glad. He smiled, looking almost proud of me. 

No tired sigh, no rolling eyes

No irony

“So you work at a law firm?” His mouth hidden behind the rim of his cup. 

Doing my best not to look at the way he licked the taste of coffee from his lips, I had to consciously keep my eyes steady on his as I answered. “Yeah, I do. There are like generations and generations of lawyers in my family, so I’m just continuing that tradition, I guess.” 

The conversation paused for a moment again, while his stare lingering on me too long for comfort that I had to look away. 

No "Who cares?", no vacant stare

No time for me

“I love this song.” I muttered under my breath, simply bringing it up to find a reprieve from his overwhelming gaze. From my peripheral, I caught him smirking, still staring.

“From Eden. B-32.”

Him simply knowing the jukebox number for the song felt like a sign.

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror years ago

Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword

“Hozier wrote it in a tongue-in-cheek way from the point of view of the devil looking at something innocent and seeing it as a missing part. The song tries to woo a woman while admitting that the relationship would be deeply flawed.” He informed me.

“Wow, that’s beautiful. Almost makes me want a forbidden kind of love.” 

Oh, had I only known the irony of my sentiment.

“He’s so good with his prose and poetry. It’s actually what inspired me to go to Iceland. I thought a change of scenery might be good for writing. Not much here in Virginia that’s quite like the beauty of Iceland,” I rambled, catching myself and consciously slowing down the rate of my words. “But um, I don’t write anything really good, just stuff that’s for me mostly.”

“I’m impressed.” 

“Why?”

With the utmost nonchalance, he stood from his chair, sliding his drink down the bar with him as he took the empty seat closest to me. I tried not to let my vision drift from his face to his actions, in the same way that he kept his gaze firm on him while he spoke. 

“Well, I tried writing, but I didn’t get very far. You’re lucky. If you’re writing for yourself, it’s true passion,” He paused to glance at his empty glass, like he was debilitating whether or not to say this next part. “Maybe you’d let me read some of it?”

"Yeah. Sure. If you really want to.” 

“Yeah, I’d love to,” He chuckled. “You’re smart, you’re well-traveled - great taste in music. I’d like to know more about you.” 

Innocence died screaming; honey, ask me, I should know

I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Maybe the flattery got to my head, but I couldn’t help the sudden surge of confidence bursting through my veins. 

“I’d like to know more about you, too.” I confessed. 

Needless to say, we didn’t waste another second getting to know each other. 

Well, as much as you can get to know someone after you fuck them in the bathroom of a bar. 

Babe

There's something wretched about this

Something so precious about this

Where to begin?

. . . 

“And where have you been, young lady?” Holly asked, acting more like my mother than my roommate upon my return to the dorm. 

“The Hollis Bar and Grill.” 

“Doing what exactly?” 

I would be remiss not to take up the opportunity for witty banter. 

“Spencer.” 

She rose from her seat at an ungodly speed to chase me down and force me to explain everything. 

“Who is he?”

“Some guy.” I blankly answered, not finding it in my jet-lagged heart to recount every last detail. 

“So is it just Spencer? No last name?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you usually ask your one night stands for their last name?” I shot her an accusatory stare. 

“Oh, is that what we’re calling this? A one night stand?” 

My agreeing nod was interrupted with the ear-splitting squeal of joy that erupted from Holly. 

“You had your first one-night stand!”

“Say it any louder, would you?” 

“Sorry, I’m just so proud of you! My baby’s growing up.” Pretending to wipe tears from her eyes, Holly pulled me in for a hug. The only way I could manage to get out of it was if I promised to tell her every little thing in the morning when I was well-rested, and fingers crossed, less jet-lagged. 

As promised, in the morning, I revealed to Holly all the details of the night before, including, but not limited to our thought-provoking discourse, his appearance, and his performance.

“At the end, he told me, ‘I will never forget you.’” I gushed to Holly. 

And he definitely meant it, because after tomorrow, he most certainly would not. 

. . . 

The first day back from Spring Break is typically the hottest day of the year, and today was no exception. It was breaching the three-digit-degree mark, which is how you know it’s hot, but we were still forced to endure the cruel and unusual punishment of wearing a uniform anyway. One that consisted of a white button-up, a plaid pleated skirt, and some type of University cardigan over it. 

Usually, this didn’t pose a problem, and I would comply, but we’d recently been hit by an ongoing heatwave that didn’t look like it was stopping anytime soon. 

Even as I got ready in the morning, with my windows shut and the air conditioning blasting, I was sweating like a pig. I had a paranoid feeling that my makeup would melt and run down my face by the end of the day, so I sat in front of the fan to cool myself off. I struggled with my hair - not that I didn’t normally struggle to style my hair every day because my kinky curls weren’t exactly manageable. But I had no interest in straightening it because I knew the humidity would just return it to its naturally curly state anyway, so I settled for letting it run wild. I’d probably work up a sweat trying to style it at all, honestly. 

As I packed the last of my things into my backpack, I finally slipped on my Uni cardigan over the rest of my uniform to complete it. I’d been delaying this part for the better part of an hour because I knew exactly what would happen the second I put it on. And just as I anticipated - I felt faint. My cheeks grew pink the minute I stepped out of my dorm; exposing myself to the sun that was visibly beating down on everyone in the courtyard. 

“Y/N!” 

Behind me was Christina, who was jogging to catch up with me. To be considerate, I stopped walking, giving me the opportunity to look at her wholly. She was only wearing the skirt and the button up, with her cardigan wrapped around her waist. 

“Are you allowed to wear your cardigan like that?” I asked after she finally caught up to me. 

“No, but I’m going to do it anyway. Stick it to the man!” She threw up her fist into the air with a proud grin plastered on her face.

Ah, yes - stick it to the man. One of Christina’s favorite five-word mantras that she stuck by. The other being - we do what we want. 

But, see, it was easy for her to say that because she never once faced repercussions for her actions. Take her hemmed skirt, for example. She shortened it by an inch - not allowed, by the way - but here she was, donning her hemmed skirt and receiving no punishment for it, not even earning a second glance from the campus security we just passed. 

How she managed to get away with as much as she did was beyond me. The only way I could describe it was that she had this magical gift of invincibility - she could never get in trouble for breaking the rules, completely untouchable. But for me, I knew the second I acted out, I’d be sitting in front of the whole school board, begging them not to expel me. My luck was just that bad.

“You don’t always have to do what they say, you know?” Her words were tempting fate.

“Yes, I do.”

“Why do you always have to be such a goody-two-shoes? Why can’t you just let loose? You’ll have so much more fun.”

“But that’s just it - I’m not here to have fun, Christina! I can’t afford to mess around every day and break the rules. I’m not like you, okay? I actually had to work to get here.” My voice had taken on much more anger than the situation warranted, which I instantly regretted. 

Her head cocked to the side in shock. “You don’t think I had to work hard?” Christina’s voice now matched my previous level of rage.

“I’m sor-”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you after class.” 

Great. 

I watched in lamentation as she briskly walked away from me, clearly upset. 

As if today wasn’t bad enough. 

Though I knew she wanted me to chase after her and beg for her forgiveness, I had much more important things to attend to. Plus, I trusted her word - she’d see me after class and I could apologize after then, but as for right now, I was going to keep my priorities in order. 

As per usual, I was the first to arrive, and the following class, I was, too, and so on and so forth. Christina would’ve rolled her eyes at my timeliness, but I preferred being early than being late.

By lunch time, I hadn’t seen Christina since our minor altercation in the morning, but to my delight, when I reached our lunch spot in the grass, she was right there waiting for me, just like she always did. 

“Hey, Chris. About earlier -”

“No need to apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you to break the rules. Come sit.” She patted a spot on the grass under the shady tree for me to sit on, but not even the voluminous leaves above could mask us from the sun. 

It was noon now, probably the peak of heat, and I felt like I was being baked alive. Even the wind that passed through was a hot breeze, merely amplifying the humidity. 

And perhaps I was compensating because I had a suspicion that Christina hadn’t truly forgiven me, but I started to peel my sweater off my body with the guise that I was doing it because I was burning up, and not because I was trying to get back on her good side.

She was speechless at first, but then she hit me with a cheerful, “Yeah!” While she clapped in approval, I took off my cardigan and unbuttoned the top few buttons. 

I was almost enjoying myself and how rebellious I was being. It was very unlike me, but it felt nice not to care so much, but then I heard a voice too distinct to misplace. 

“Ms. Y/L/N!” 

Mine and Christina’s head both whipped around hastily to see Mrs. Whitman, who looked furious. 

“That is against the dress code. You will report to room R-412 after school for detention. Do not be late.” 

Lest I forget to mention, Christina was breaking the dress code, too, but again - her power of invincibility protected her - a power which I did not possess.

My jaw hung low in shock. 

“Oh my god,” I turned to Christina, with my hand covering my mouth. 

“I am so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

I shot up from the grass, replacing my cardigan where it should be on my shoulders and buttoning the top few buttons of my shirt to regain some dignity. 

“Where are you going?” Christina called out after I abandoned her at the table.

I didn’t answer, out of pure rage, not that it was Christina’s fault, but that I’d actually foolishly broken the rules - and enjoyed it. 

The rest of the day was spoiled after that thanks to the impending doom of heading straight to detention after school was over. 

Christina texted and called repeatedly to apologize, but it would be no use. I wasn’t necessarily mad at her, although it wouldn’t have been completely untrue to say that I was, but I was madder at the situation. 

My humiliation was reinforced when after the final bell rang, I had to go against the grain of students, who were desperately filing out of the classes to return to their dorms, while I was headed for yet another “class.” I normally would’ve been one of those students, briskly shuffling out of a classroom with a million other people, trying to cram through a tiny door to leave, but now I was an outlaw, and I wasn’t sure that I liked it.

I found the room in no time, having studied the campus map until I knew it as well as the back of my hand. I even recognized the room number from when I asked my counselor for an application to audit Dr. Reid’s Criminology class, but I was declined acceptance, giving me all the more reason to hesitate to enter. I clutched onto the doorknob and lingered in the doorway, trying to find the nerve to walk in and commence my punishment. 

With one exasperated exhale, I swung the door open and marched in with my head down and my tail between my legs. Taking a cursory glance, I didn’t see a teacher anywhere.

“Hello? Dr. Reid?”

My small voice ricocheted off the high ceilings and reverberated back to me, instilling me with the chills of being alone in this large, empty classroom. 

I hadn’t yet taken a seat, mainly in case I needed to run for my life, I’d just need to pick up my feet instead of get up from a seat, but more so because I expected someone to be in here to instruct me on where to sit. I was more surprised that it was just me here and not anyone else, which made me reflect even harder on the idea that maybe I was the only one here because everyone else in this school had more discipline than me. But I also had to consider that the kids that were troublesome enough to land themselves in detention probably had no intention of suddenly abiding by the rules and showing up to detainment as they should. 

Out of nowhere, I heard the clunk and thump of shuffling footsteps. 

"Dr. Reid?”

From the stage I saw a figure emerge, briskly walking with a satchel crossed over their body and a coffee cup raised to their lips. 

Those lips. 

I’ve seen them before. 

Flashbacks of the night before began replaying in my head at a million miles per hour. 

“You okay down there?”

“Iceland.” 

“Quantico? Like FBI Quantico?”

“B-32.”

“I’m impressed.”

“Maybe you’d let me read some of it?”

“I’d like to know more about you.”

I felt the ground sway beneath me when the source of his familiarity became glaringly apparent. 

We simply stood there, gaping at each other like we couldn’t believe this was actually happening, totally, and completely speechless. 

“Spencer?” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

PART 2 HERE!

comment to be added to taglist!

[arhvste]

IWAIZUMI HAIJIME - I GOT YOU

summary: after a hard day of uni, your doting boyfriend is there to support you - fluff

requested by anon <3

warnings - none

Your head was pounding and your feet were aching. You knew university wasn’t going to be an easy experience but you hadn’t thought it would drain you to the point of almost collapsing after most days.

Your fingers weakly gripping onto your bag as you arrived at the door of your shared apartment. Unlocking the door with nimble fingers, you jangled the keys losing patience with yourself and the irritating door. Finally hearing the click of the door unlock, you kicked the door open and dropped your bag on the spot.

You didn’t bother taking off your shoes as you threw yourself onto the couch allowing your limbs to relax from the weight of everything. Sighing into the throw pillows, you allowed yourself a few moments of rest and didn’t even try to stop the drooping of your heavy eyelids as you drifted off into a well deserved slumber.

-

Groaning, you turned around as your hands rubbed the sleep out of your arms. Your limbs relaxed from the aching from earlier and your head clearing up from the painful headache.

Opening your eyes fully you noticed you were no longer flailed recklessly on the couch. You were now in an oversized t-shirt and baggy sweats with your hair neatly plaited to keep the hair out of your face.

‘Haijime.’

Your boyfriend had been nothing but perfect ever since you had started dating. He was a kind and genuine man, always putting others before himself and even though he may show his care for others in an aggressive way (his best friend ‘Shittykawa’ would often whine about this), he still showed a deep care and concern for those close to him.

You smiled softly to yourself thinking about your boyfriend who was studying sports science in order to become an athletics trainer in the future. You were incredibly proud of him and made sure to make sure he knew. He appreciated your unconditional support for him and promised that he would do everything he could possibly do to support you towards your own goals no matter how big or small and he kept that promise.

Rolling out of your shared bed, you dipped your feet onto the hard cold flooring and padded your way to the small kitchen area where the smell of food cooking was emitting from.

Your boyfriend stood there, stirring a vegetable stir fry on the stove. He was so in his element he had yet to notice you and you took advantage of this.

He tensed up out of surprise when he felt arms around his waist and your head relaxing into his broad back.

“Hey baby.”

His deep voice stirred small butterflies to set off in your stomach. He spun around placing the wooden utensil down to the side and let his hands fall to the sides of your hips. Bending down he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead as your own hands made their way down his defined abs through his t-shirt and back to the front of his waist hugging him tightly.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

You whispered looking up at him as he smiled and pulled the hairband out of the plait he had skillfully braided and raking his fingers gently through your hair allowing the loose waves to fall to your shoulders.

“Of course my love, you couldn’t have been comfortable lying there. It's not good for your joints and muscles to fall asleep in uncomfortable positions. Hard day today?”

Relaxing into his touch as his fingers worked miracles in your hair immediately releasing all the tension in your head, you looked up at him and sighed.

“Yeah kind of. I guess I sometimes put too much pressure on myself but at the same time I feel like I’m constantly falling behind. I need to keep up but sometimes I feel like I just can’t”

Rambling to your handsome boyfriend, he patiently listened as he absorbed everything you were saying to him.

Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes as the frustration towards yourself had begun to build up again. Iwaizumi immediately noticed this and pulled you closer to his chest.

“Shhhhh, oh baby I’m here, I’m here. My pretty baby, shhh it’s okay let it out.”

You sobbed silently into his t-shirt dampening it but he didn’t care. He reached out behind him to the stove and turned the heat on the lowest option to stop the food from cooking so quickly so he could take his time with you.

“Come on love.”

He effortlessly lifted you up and your legs naturally wrapped around his strong torso as you rested your head on one of his broad shoulders. Iwaizumi carried you to your bedroom as he delicately set you down on the bed.

Looking down at you he felt upset seeing the state of distress you were in. Setting himself down next to you, he pulled you both into the sheets as you wrapped your arms around him as he brushed the hair out of your face.

“Oh babygirl I’m sorry, calm down you can talk to me about it. You know you’re always my first priority it makes me sad seeing you sad, let me help you.”

Gently wiping the tears from your face with his fingers, he kissed each side of your face as you calmed yourself down. You sighed and looked up at him as his eyes met yours. His holding nothing but pure love and concern for you, he offered a small smile as your own features relaxed.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I just feel like I’m not getting anywhere, it’s nothing that can’t be helped though I’m sure. I just needed to let that out I think.”

You weakly smiled at him as he twirled your hair in his fingers and weaved them between the strands, relaxing you even more. He knew this calmed you down. He was observant especially when it came to you.

“Don’t ever apologize to me over anything like this Y/N. You know I’m here for you and will do anything to help you. I love you and hate seeing you upset. You can always, always come to me and I promise I’ll help you in any way.”

You knew he was genuine. Even though he would never say it out loud, Iwaizumi would gladly give you the moon and all the stars if you asked. There wasn’t anything he could think of that he wouldn’t do for you. You had done so much for him whether you realised it or not, he was grateful for you coming into his life and he made sure to make you feel appreciated in any way he could.

-

Back in high school, the ex ace would constantly be compared to his best friend, the star of the school Oikawa Tooru. Some would even say Iwaizumi was a second best compared to his friend but he didn’t let it get to him much. He had grown so used to it by the time they reached their third and final year of school. That’s where you came and took his world by storm without even trying.

You and him were partnered up together in your biology class. Having never really spoken before, the two of you started a solid friendship during your classes together and both eventually found yourselves looking forward to biology. You never once mentioned Oikawa which at first Iwaizumi was surprised by. Almost every girl in Aoba Johsai was fawning over his charming best friend so why weren’t you?

The months passed and feelings began to develop between the two of you. Iwaizumi no longer felt like a substitute for Oikawa but rather he felt like the protagonist in his own story. You had subconsciously brought out a brighter side to him, made him feel a bigger sense of individuality and it was once he realised this, he knew he had to confess to you.

2 years later and your relationship was still going from strength to strength. Oikawa immediately approving of the two of you and taking an instant liking to you after seeing the effect you had on Iwaizumi. You both compliment each other well and in all honesty, the boy couldn’t see himself marrying anyone other than you. Sure there was a lot of time to fill before marriage, but he planned to keep you by his side for as long as possible and he ideally wanted that to be for the rest of his life.

-

Staring back into his softened gaze, you brought yourself up and kissed your boyfriend wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulder.

You pulled away coyly and gave him a shy smile.

“I know. Thank you. I mean it Haijime. I love you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He chuckled softly as he stroked your flushed cheek.

“Of course baby. You know I’m always here for you all you have to do is let me be.”

Pulling you back in for a deep kiss, Iwaizumi’s fingers tangled themselves in your hair as your hands dropped down exploring his muscled chest.

Catching your breaths, you smiled at the boy so brightly and genuinely, his heart felt so full when he looked at you. You really had him wrapped around his finger and you didn’t even know it.

“Come on let's go eat and then we can watch whatever you want. Tomorrow I don’t have any classes so I’ll help you on areas you feel like you need catching up on.”

“You’re my hero Hajime.”

You whispered smiling as he laughed slightly. Lifting himself off the bed, he grabbed your hand to pull you to the edge where he picked you up bridal style and carried you back into the kitchen where the delicious smell of food was still stewing from.

“I love you Y/N and don’t you ever forget that.”

[cabinofimagines]

In the end, cleaning wins.

Percy x gn!reader

Summary: Percy and Y/n are trying their best to be adults. Between work, school, being a demigod, and keeping up the apartment, something or someone was bound to snap.

A/N: Bro I’m always so bad at writing fight scenes since I’m such a peacekeeper lmao. I try to avoid conflict often so rip if this isn’t good.

-Day

_______________________________________

Being an adult is exhausting. 

No seriously, it is. Percy hadn’t slept in over 26 hours at the fault of his new job at the aquarium. It held unusually odd hours, the only upside being a nice pay and working with sea creatures. He loved it, but the position and people he had to work with were obnoxious in many ways.

He stayed up all night trying to cram for a chem exam coming up, but he would’ve slept an hour at least if he’d known the bullshit coming his way. He left home yesterday morning for his bio lecture where he zoned out for 2 out of the 3 hours. Unfortunately, homework was assigned based on the day’s lecture. Amazing. Then, he was called into work directly after because the opening manager flaked out. Also amazing.

The school was across town from the aquarium so he figured he could catch some sleep on the subway, but before he even boarded, a group of dracaena ambushed him. He took off running, hoping that maybe he could lose them instead of having to fight. If he fought in this sluggish state then he’d probably screw up and shish kebab himself.

 He could probably just run to the aquarium from here, take a few back alleys and shake off the slithering psychos. He turned to check if they were still following and to his surprise, they were right on his heels. Pretty fast for creatures with no legs. Or would having the ability to just… glide be faster? Like being on skateboard?

Now really wasn’t the time to be thinking of dracaena with skateboard bodies.

He turned sharply and took the fire escape three steps at a time. He wasn’t sure where this was going, but he was fairly certain that in the prospect of jumping buildings, the person with legs had the upper hand. He could hear the dracaena hissing out things like “get back here, sssson of the sssssea god” or “come here, child”. How the Hades are they still behind him?

He saw the edge of the building approaching and realized that maybe it was a little too far of a jump. But he was already flying over the gap and praying that his ankles don’t snap like twigs when he lands. 

Luckily, he made it. He hit the ledge with his chest, his arms pulling him up. He scrambled to his feet, ready to turn and fight if that jump didn’t shake them. Turns out that it did work, because he’d the pleasure of seeing the failed attempt of the hissing heathers falling one by one into the gap between the buildings. He heard them yelp out curses on the way down, but wasn’t sure if they combusted into dust or not. 

He decided to roof hop for most of the way to work, one because it was a little faster this way and because he had less of a chance to run into bored monsters. Man, he was glad that he didn’t have a manager to answer to this time, they’d probably just be glad he showed up.

---

Percy prided himself on being a pretty chill person both at work and on the regular. However, there wasn’t a day that passed where he wondered if he should just hop in one of the tanks and pretend to be a fish. The sea otters seem pretty stress-free.

He was exhausted and running on energy drinks he’d bought from the gas station a little ways from work. What was supposed to be a 6-hour shift on his one day off turned into him working from 11:30 am to midnight after the evening manager decided to leave early. Percy was never one to complain when others went home before him, in fact, he usually chooses to go last unless he has homework due at 11:59. But when Cooper decided Percy could handle closing the aquarium by himself, he lost it. 

He took the last bus home, thankfully, his trip home was quieter than his trip to work. He sat in the back, head tilted toward the window as he tried to calm the headache that tortured him. He was pretty sure that Y/n would be asleep by now, they had an early morning and he didn’t expect them to wait up for him… but tonight, he really hoped they did.

The promise that Y/n would be there, asleep or not, was comforting enough to him. He wanted nothing more than wordless cuddles and a deep sleep right now. 

----

Walking through the building door he noticed the hall light was off– correction, it was blown. No biggie, Percy had found his way in the dark multiple times, but the stairs seemed to be a different story. He tried so hard to be quiet on the way upstairs, but he managed to trip over the ledge. He swore quietly, fumbling for the railing and hoping his neighbor was dead asleep.

Ronnie often threw fits over the amount of noise the couple made, even if it wasn’t much of a ruckus, Ronnie always claimed that his keen ears could hear everything. He still hadn’t forgiven Percy for the quip he made about maybe turning his hearing aids down, but he will. Hopefully.

Somehow he made it to the apartment door in one piece fumbling for his keys and unlocking the door. He took note of the darkened place and figured that maybe Y/n really did go to bed. It’s alright, Percy was ready to crash and catch a few hours of sleep.

But the lamp was on in their bedroom and the door was cracked open still, so… are you up?

Percy kicked off his shoes and dropped his book bag by the door, trudging over to the bedroom and nudging the door open. Sitting upright in the bed sat Y/n reading a book he’d bought for your birthday. Percy smiled, you looked so cute bundled up in his old uni t-shirt. 

Your eyes shifted to him, crinkling with happiness, “You’re back?” You didn’t move though, clearly comfortable under the heavy duvet. 

He nodded with a small smile, moving over to your side of the bed and placing a quick kiss on your forehead, “I’m gonna take a shower and grab something to eat, you go ahead and get some rest.”

After he turned to leave you heaved a sigh, not sure how to bring this up when he’s as tired as he is. Maybe this could wait until tomorrow? Then he’d be less tired and maybe… no, you already put this off long enough. He’ll be tired regardless of when it’s brought up, might as well get it over with.

So you sat there, not really even reading the words on the page anymore, your thoughts wandering from the universe the author had written about. It really shouldn’t have been this nerve-wracking. It’s a basic thing that needs to be done in every house and you were getting tired of doing it every single time.

Cabinets shutting brought your attention back to the present. Reluctantly, you pushed the duvet back and shuffled towards the kitchen, Percy eating a PB&J sandwich coming into view. He looked like a little kid, leaning against the counter in his black sweatpants and a graphic tee, munching on a small sandwich he made. You grinned and leaned beside him, ignoring the confused glances he gave.

“You miss me that much?” He joked, mouth full of food.

You snorted and looked down, something you tended to do when you got nervous. He seemed in a good mood despite whatever may had happened today, so it’s now or never.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” you mumbled, “And I know you’re tired but I feel like this is only going to get worse if we don’t talk about it now.”

Percy blinked and continued to eat, his silence a cue to continue. He didn’t really want to talk about anything right now, he just wanted to eat his sandwich and go to bed. But it seemed important so he figured he’d survive a little longer.

You studied your sock-clad feet closely, “I know we’re both really busy and it’s hard to find time for certain things like time with each other, time to study, or cleaning. But it’s something we have to find time for, y’know?”

Percy hummed, “I can ask off on Saturday if you want? We can spend the day together, we haven’t had a whole day in a while.”

You gave a small smile because while that is a concern, that’s not what you were talking about. You won’t say no though. You stole a glance at him, “I have missed being with you, I guess.”

“You guess?” Percy said a little louder, poking your stomach teasingly, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You chuckled, swatting his hand away, “Be quiet! Ronnie will be at our door in a second, you know that.” Just do it, he’s in a good mood! “I was actually talking about the cleaning…”

At that, Percy took a look around. The dishes weren’t overflowing and the laundry wasn’t piling up, it didn’t look like something needed to be addressed. He finished the last of his sandwich, “Okay? What needs to be done?”

“Well between the two of us there is hardly any time to do anything else right? Well, it feels like I’m the only one taking care of the place-”

“But I do take care of the place,” He interrupted, “I pay the bills and I pick up after myself so-”

“But you don’t.” You spoke exasperated, “You don’t always pick up after yourself. Look, you left the bread and the PB&J out!” A fight isn’t what you wanted so you tried to approach it a different way. You took a deep breath, “...I understand you’re busy, I am too. I just want you to make a conscious effort to put things away where they belong.”

He scoffed, a disbelieving smile on his face, “I’m not a kid anymore, Y/n. I know how to clean up after myself, my mom made sure of that.”

“Then why don’t you? You used to be really good about helping me out–”

“I’m exhausted Y/n, what do you want me to do?!” 

“Fucking help me, that’s what!”

It went quiet, staring the other down and wondering who would back down first. It was silly honestly, but you were tired of picking up the slack. The work in the apartment used to be equal but lately its looking a lot like you do 88% and Percy does 12%.

You relented, huffing and shaking your head, “Okay then.” You turned on your heel, going over to the front door and putting your shoes on along with a jacket. You needed to calm down, a little fresh air to maybe come up with a different way of approaching this. 

The convenience store across the road might still be open. You could grab one of those bottled iced coffees for tomorrow morning, maybe a small snack too. Hopefully the small errand would be long enough for you to think of another approach. Maybe one where Percy was less of an ass, or less tired, whichever one really.

Percy followed you around to the door, his crossed arms dropping to his sides when he noticed what you were doing. He furrowed his brows, “Where are you going? It’s past midnight.”

“I’m well aware of the time, Perseus.” You hissed, “I’m going out to grab a few things.”

He shook his head, his black hair still wet from the shower, “You can wait until morning for that, come on!” he spoke lowly as he approached you, “let’s just get some rest...”

You pulled from his reach and twisted the door knob open, walking out without another word. You closed it behind you and padded over to the stairs, hopping down the unlit steps like you normally did. 

Unluckily, your foot narrowly missed the next step and without the light to see where you could potentially catch yourself, you fell. Yep, you hit every step on the way down. If Ronnie hadn’t heard the argument you just had, he had to have heard your swears as your body fumbled down to the 1st floor.

Percy flung the door open, the light from your apartment lighting up the dark stairwell. His footsteps thundered down the stairs and there he sat in front of you, words flying out of his mouth so fast that you didn’t even know what he was saying. The fall caught you so off guard that you weren’t sure what was happening right now.

Ronnie threw his door open, profanities slipping out his mouth at the noise, “And this is why I never rent to young couples!” He shouted, but the threat of his words were tame without his dentures to help him spit it out. He turned his head to the bottom of the stairs where Percy leaned over your confused figure, fumbling over his words and oblivious to Ronnie.

“Well shit...” Ronnie muttered, backing back into his apartment quietly.

You snapped out of your daze, noticing how much your ankle actually hurt. Okay you’ve definitely dealt with worse, but the pain was still annoying. You started to push yourself off the steps and into a standing position, using the railing to steady yourself on your good foot.

Percy’s hands slid up your body, settling on your waist and attempting to help you back up the stairs. He kept his mouth shut on the way into the apartment, knowing that you’re probably even more irritated now.

Once you were sat comfortably on the couch, he rushed off to grab a bag of frozen peas to put on your ankle to stop the swelling. You did appreciate the thought, but you were not dealing with this any longer than you had to.

“Percy, there’s some ambrosia in my dresser, bottom drawer on the left.” 

He blinked and wandered off to the bedroom, shuffling through your stuff before muttering, “It’s not even in here.” He spent a couple of more minutes looking around for the Ziploc bag you had, but clearly wasn’t really looking.

You hauled yourself off the couch, chuckling and shaking your head at his antics. Hobbling into the room you saw that he was looking in the night stand, not the dresser like you told him to. No wonder he couldn’t find it. 

“Kelp head, I said the dresser not the night stand.” You laughed, limping over to the dresser and lcoating the bits of ambrosia. Percy was by your side in an instant, leading you back towards the bed and helping you situate yourself there comfortably. You said nothing as you opened the bag and nibbled on one of the pieces, a warm feeling washing over you.

You could feel the pain in your ankle easing off slowly and hopefully it would only be a little sore by morning. Percy took the bag from your hands and set it aside wordlessly, he muttered something about closing the front door before leaving the room.

You could tell he felt awkward about what just happened and he probably felt a little guilty about the argument you just had, even if it wasn’t all that serious. The two of you have had worse fights about worse things, but this is the first time in a while. It was bound to happen.

He came back in right as you shifted under the blankets, turning the light off and slipping underneath with you. He didn’t snuggle up to you right away, waiting to see if you were still pissed at him, but you didn’t make a move to kick him out the bed.

“I’m sorry for being such a dick, Y/n.” He whispered, “I didn’t know how much it bothered you and I’ll try to clean more often. I swear.” 

Nothing was said, for a moment, Percy thought you’d fallen asleep, but you turned slowly to face him, eyes scanning his face in the dim light from the window. You brought a hand up to his face and traced his jawline gently, “That’s all I wanted you to do, stupid.”

He huffed and inched closer to nuzzle your nose with his, “And all it took was a sprained ankle for me to figure that out.”

You laughed and knocked your forehead against his, “It’s my fault for being so deadset on grabbing coffee for tomorrow morning. I should’ve just gone to bed.”

“Do you want coffee now? I can go grab it–”

“No, I’m not getting up tomorrow. Go to sleep, fish brain.”

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

Rizzo

Oneshot about how Sirius obtained his motorcycle. Prompt by @daylily-evans.

I should add, to all my non-UK readers, I use the word f*g in this as a slang word for cigarette, which is what it’s commonly used for over here, especially at the time the oneshot was set. I tried not to use it, but eventually it was impossible, and unrealistic, for the characters to not use it, so I apologise for the use of the word and I promise in this context it is not a slur word, and is only a slang word for cigarette. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Request a oneshot here!

~

When Sirius graduated Hogwarts, he really had no idea what he wanted to do. Short-term wise, he wanted to go on missions for the Order, help out in any way he could and take down the death eaters one by one until only You-Know-Who remained. He couldn’t wait.

But long-term, after the war had ended, he was clueless. Truth was, he hadn’t planned that far ahead, just in case he didn’t survive to see it. But he was beginning to see that having a job now would be beneficial in a number of ways. Maybe as a cover-up, or a hiding place, or at least an opportunity to earn some well-needed money.

Dumbledore wanted him to get a job at the Ministry, to try and collect any inside information. But this suggestion made Sirius angry enough to ignore it completely. For starters, he didn’t care about what Dumbledore wanted. He tried to hide this of course, as he didn’t think the others would approve. But he’d lost his taste for obeying the old man ever since Dumbledore had forced Remus to live among the werewolves. And while Sirius could vaguely understand why it was useful, he couldn’t forgive Dumbledore for placing Remus in such a horrible situation, away from his friends, and possibly making Remus feel like the monster that Sirius knew he wasn’t. When Dumbledore had first suggested it, Sirius had been absolutely livid, and it was only Remus himself who managed to stop Sirius from marching down to Dumbledore’s office and giving the guy a piece of his mind. Remus had calmed Sirius down, but Sirius knew that he’d never shake off the resentment he had for the headmaster.

The other reason that he was angry at Dumbledore’s suggestion, was because he hated the Ministry. It was full of people like his parents, making rules to oppress anyone who wasn’t a pureblood wizard. And after having grown up with Remus, watching as the boy had to work for a future he didn’t have because of the Ministry, the last thing Sirius wanted to do was work for the bastards.

But what other jobs were there in the Wizarding World besides a ministry job? Hogwarts teacher? There wasn’t anything he could teach, and he certainly didn’t have the patience to deal with a bunch of teenagers, and nor did he want to give Dumbledore an opportunity to keep a close eye on him. Healer? He couldn’t think of anything less suited to him, though maybe Moony wouldn’t mind seeing him in a healer’s skirt and cap.

No, the problem was, wizarding jobs didn’t suit Sirius. So perhaps he needed to look outside the Wizarding World for a job.

Sirius wasn’t exactly familiar with muggle jobs, at least not first-hand. He’d seen plenty of them before. He, James, Remus and Peter had been to a few muggle clubs and bars together, and Sirius had spent all night chatting up the male bartenders, until he was quite knowledgeable on the job itself.

Sirius thought he’d be a great bartender. All he had to do was serve drinks, listen to music and chat up hot guys. And okay, so there was probably a little more to it than that, but he had the people skills, and he could easily learn about all the different muggle drinks.

Yes, he decided. I can be a bartender. I’ll be safe in the muggle world, I can still go on missions, and I can earn some money for the Order, or at least to support myself and Remus.

Sirius even knew about a bar that had an opening, since he’d been there so many times. He had to walk there, since he couldn’t apparatus, or floo there, and he still didn’t know how to use the muggle bus. But it wasn’t too long a walk, and it was a nice day at least. Sirius liked muggle towns, especially the underground-type, diverse, grunge places such as the one where the bar was situated. The streets were lined with music shops, pubs and all things that screamed rock n roll in the 70s. Sirius loved it.

When he was almost at the bar, he suddenly got distracted by a shop he hadn’t noticed before. He noticed it this time because Queen was blasting out of the speakers of some tinny radio from inside.

Sirius looked at the exterior: Lomax Motorcycles said the sign at the front. Another, smaller sign, stuck onto the window said: job vacancies with some smaller writing underneath that Sirius couldn’t read. But he was intrigued enough to go inside.

The interior- Sirius was quick to notice- was incredibly cool. There were two adjoining rooms, all filled with motorbikes. Sirius had seen motorbikes before, mainly in the films that he watched with James, Remus and Peter, but he hadn’t realised how much he liked them until he looked at them up close. These ones were all slick and shiny, some with patterns of fire along the side. They were like broomsticks, but with a muggle twist, and from Sirius’s limited experience, they were always ridden by punks in leather jackets. Sirius could definitely see himself riding one.

The shop itself was dimly lit, but he could see a number of framed posters lining the walls, of muggle bands that he loved: Pink Floyd, Ramones, Blondie, Joy Division. Not to mention all the cool-looking accessories that hung above the motorcycles.

Just then, the owner of the shop walked out.

“Alright, mate?” Greeted the man. Sirius nodded, taking the guy in. He looked around his late thirties, with a dark brown mullet, a badge-covered sleeveless jacket, leather gloves, at least twenty different piercings and full sleeves of tattoos. Sirius looked like Sandy from Grease compared to this guy.

“Yeah, hi.” Sirius replied, immediately intimidated.

“Looking for a bike?” The man walked behind a counter against the wall opposite to Sirius and started restocking a container of different locks.

“Nah, I’m just looking. I’ve never actually driven a motorbike before.” The man looked him up and down.

“Really?” Sirius nodded, awfully self-conscious. The man took out a cigarette pack and lit one up. The shop was quite smoky, but Sirius actually enjoyed that about it.

“I saw you had a job vacancy sign in your window,” Sirius plucked up the courage to mention.

“You looking for a job?”

“Yeah.” Sirius of course hadn’t intended to try for a job here, but since he had the opportunity he thought he might as well. See how far he could take it before the man asked him to leave. The man exhaled smoke out of his nose.

“You haven’t even driven a motorcycle.”

“I can learn. I pick things up quickly.” He realised that he sounded inexplicably uncool. It was typical. Around his friends he was effortlessly punk. Laid-back and relaxed, cigarette balanced between his lips, fluent in witty remarks and sarcasm. But here, in front of an almost carbon-copy of his cool persona, Sirius was sounding like someone who’d only recently entered the punk scene and had no clue on how to act.

“How old are you?” The man asked.

“Eighteen.”

“Pretty young, you even out of uni yet?”

“Oh, uh... I’m not going to uni.” Uni. University. Remus said that muggles went there to learn even more. Sirius didn’t see the point of it.

“I didn’t go either,” replied the man. He seemed very friendly, which certainly didn’t match with his overall appearance. “Didn’t interest me. Started working here instead. It was my dad’s.”

“Oh.” Sirius wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I’m Darren by the way. Darren Lomax.”

“Oh right, like the name on the shop. I’m Sirius.”

“Sirius? Never heard that name before. It’s cool.”

“Thanks?” He’d never thought of his name as being cool before. It was run-of-the-mill in the Wizarding World. In fact there were already two other Siriuses in his family. He was Sirius the Third.  “If you’re interested in motorbikes, I can take you on as an apprentice if you want. Give you a bit of money. Teach you how to fix up these babies.” Sirius blinked.

“Really?” He hadn’t expected any kind of offer. His resume wasn’t exactly impressive, especially not to a muggle. An inexperienced eighteen year old with no muggle qualifications and less knowledge of motorcycles that literally anyone else who could’ve walked through that door. Sirius wouldn’t hire himself.

“Yeah why not? If you’re shit I’ll get rid of you. We’re not a professional garage. Really we just piss about fixing engines, listening to music and smoking. That your style?”

“Yeah, blimey.”

“Great. You can start tomorrow. Fag?” Darren offered him his cigarette pack, and Sirius took one. Darren lit it for him.

“Cheers.”

~

Dumbledore wasn’t happy with his choice of job.

“How are you planning on gathering information for the Order if you’re spending your days working in a muggle shop?” The man asked. Sirius had no intention of being guilted by him.

“Isn’t the information that Remus is gathering enough for you? I should hope so, considering everything he’s going through to get it.”

“Mr. Black, in case you haven’t noticed, there is a war going on. You can’t spend your life thinking about yourself and Mr. Lupin and no one else.”

“I am thinking of everyone else! And what everyone needs is money. And I can get them that money, as well as staying safe in the muggle world. I’m not exactly useful if I’m dead am I?” Dumbledore sighed as if he was talking to a child. The old man was pleasant with everyone, but with Sirius there was a slight curt undertone to everything he said. Dumbledore knew that Sirius wasn’t happy with him at all, and it showed. Sirius didn’t care. Dumbledore hadn’t done shit for him. He didn’t owe him anything.

Sirius was taking that job.

~ His first day went well, in the sense that he got along with Darren and he enjoyed the environment of the shop very much.

Because of his very limited knowledge of how to fix a motorbike, Sirius’s main job was at the front desk, talking to customers. He really did have great people skills, as he quickly discovered, and he put this to his advantage, bagging more sales in a day than Darren achieved in a week. So even if Sirius was shit at the mechanical side of things, he certainly wasn’t going to be fired any time soon.

At the end of the day, when the shop closed, Darren asked if Sirius would like to stay late and learn his way around the motorbikes. Sirius, who hadn’t been assigned any missions, and therefore didn’t have much going on, agreed immediately.

Darren showed him the engines of one particular motorbike that was in rather a lot of disrepair.

“Completely useless she is,” explained Darren. “Not likely to get her running any time soon, probably won’t even be able to fix her. Engine’s blown, parts are missing, tyres are a wreck.” Sirius knew that she’d easily be fixed with magic, but obviously this wasn’t an option. So he was sad that she’d never be ridden. But even if she was little more than a shell, she was a good example for Darren to use as an introduction to the inner workings of motorcycles.

Sirius listened intently to everything Darren had to say, learning how to change the oil, how to change a tyre, how to know when a motorbike needed new spark plugs (and learning what spark plugs were in the first place).

Outside of the workshop, Sirius tried to research more on the motorbikes he was working with. When he wasn’t spending time with the Order, or talking to customers in the shop, or following Darren around like a puppy, he was at the library reading up on all the different motorbike types, how they worked and how they were made.

Whenever Remus was permitted a break from staying with the werewolves, breaks that usually only lasted a few days maximum to avoid any suspicion, Sirius proudly took him down to the shop and showed him all the motorbikes that he helped to fix.

Darren greeted Remus happily, commenting on his name too. “The weird name couple” he called them. Darren, being the punk anarchist that he was, that was so prevalent in the late 70s, didn’t give a shit about Sirius and Remus’s relationship. Sirius didn’t need to hide it for very long, especially since he hadn’t tried to hide his sexuality in the first place.

Remus was very interested in the shop, and as soon as he stepped foot in it his first response was “Shit, Pads, this place was made for you.”

Sirius showed him the motorbike that was “unfixable”, but that Sirius had still been determined to work on as much as possible. The engine was still a bust, but he’d at least changed the tyres, and given it a new paint job (red and black). Sirius felt very close to the bike, especially once Darren had struck up a deal with him, saying that if he could fix the bike he could have it: “even if it’s fixed, it’s a shit model. No one’ll want it, believe me. Besides, I’m already paying you fuck all, so consider it a raise.” Darren was paying Sirius, but it was apparently much less than the usual muggle wage, since Sirius was still technically an apprentice. However, the current muggle to wizarding exchange rate meant that Sirius got a lot of galleons for his pounds. So, he was perfectly able to support himself, and if he ended up with a free motorbike in the process? Well, he almost couldn’t believe his luck.

Sirius fixed up the engine as much as he possibly could, until it was simply a case of the engine just not working. It had been months now since he’d first started, and the engine was the only thing left. The motorbike looked good as new, and despite Darren claiming it to be a shit model, Sirius had fallen in love with it. He’d even named it Rizzo, after Betty Rizzo from Grease.

Sirius was absolutely determined to have Rizzo, and deciding that the engine simply needed a boost, he risked using magic out of sight of Darren. Darren would never know, and Rizzo would have a new lease of life.

“Fucking hell, you actually got her working!” Exclaimed Darren the next day, as Sirius showed off the brand new humming engine of his prized motorbike. “How the fuck did you do that?”

“She just needed a boost, that was all. Good as new.” A boost with a little bit of magic, thought Sirius. Darren was shaking his head in disbelief.

“Well, shit. I guess a deal’s a deal. She’s all yours, mate.” Sirius couldn’t refrain himself from grinning. He patted Rizzo’s paintwork proudly. She was all his. He couldn’t wait to show her off to Remus and James and Peter and all the others. James was dying to get a glimpse of her: Sirius had been bragging about his motorbike for weeks now, annoying the hell out of the others.

“This motorcycle better be fit for Merlin himself, Pads, or I’m gonna be pissed,” James had semi-joked. Sirius assured that she was even better than Merlin. “She was made for me,” he claimed.

When James did finally see Rizzo, he was very impressed, but then again, he was as knowledgeable about motorbikes as Sirius was when he first started at the shop. Sirius probably could have put a mound of metal in front of him, moulded into the vague shape of a motorbike and James would still have been impressed.

“Can’t believe you named her Rizzo,” James laughed. “You’re such a fucking nerd.”

“Yeah, well. I have a motorcycle and you don’t, so jokes on you.” James put his hands up in surrender.

“You’re right. I’m just jealous.”

~ Sirius had a lot of fun with Rizzo. He rode her everywhere, through muggle and wizarding towns alike. It felt even more freeing than a broomstick. He could weave in and out of traffic, the wind in his hair and the roar of the engine blocking out everything.

There was also room for two. Or at least, two was the legal amount. But Sirius could be rather lax with the law sometimes, especially muggle law. So it wasn’t uncommon for all four of the marauders to squeeze onto the back of Rizzo and go driving off into the night.

Eventually though, Sirius decided that four people on one seat could damage Rizzo, which was the last thing he wanted (and he supposed it could be dangerous as well). So he splashed out some of the money he’d saved on a sidecar. James was particularly keen on it.

Remus on the other hand nearly always opted to sit on the back with Sirius. Sirius loved these journeys the most. Just he and Remus, the man holding tightly onto him as they zoomed down roads, ending up in country lanes. He could feel Remus’s arms around his waist, and Remus’s head on his shoulder, and after everything Remus was going through, as well as the risk of sudden death around every corner for both of them, when the two were pressed together on the little black and red motorbike, roaring through the countryside without a care in the world, it felt like the most precious moment of their lives.

[ginnyweasleywannabe]

Treasure Hunt

Please enjoy the first chapter of my new fic "Treasure Hunt"

I will reblog with some authors notes. You can also read on AO3 under the username "inthemiddle2" (If I link it doesn't show up on tags, sorry) Final Word count:4499!!!!

Start:

“And you came to me for help because……?”

“Because you’re a greedy asshole.”

Two weeks prior….

“Marc, I don’t understand why I can’t just come with you!”

“Because Marlene, you’re about to finish up Uni, there’s still a lot of stuff for you to wrap up here… and you have the ceremony in two weeks”

Marlene let out a huff throwing her arms to the side, “Why do I even have to walk in that stupid ceremony, I’ve already done it once before. Besides what’s the point if you’re not going to be there, you’re the only one who cares about it.”

Marc stopped his packing with a quick roll of the eyes before turning around to face her, “Marley, I’ll be back in time for the ceremony, which is a big deal because you’re becoming a master!” He tried to get her excited, throwing his hands up and punctuating every following word, “Marlene McKinnon, Masters of Cryptology and Ancient History’, becoming an curse- breaker, like your ol’ bro.”

Marlene had to fight the sides of her mouth from twitching upward, “You’re the only one who calls themselves a ‘curse-breaker.”

Marc zipped up his duffle, “Marley, I’ll be back for the ceremony and then you’ll be done and you can join me on my next adventure.” He walked to the front door and gave her once last glance “I promise, finish up with your studies and then you can come with me.” He tried to give her a look of hope and understanding.

Marlene muttered a quick “fine” under her breathe and then lunged into his arms. She wouldn’t tell him but she was really going to miss him these up coming weeks. Curse-Breaking, as her brother liked to call it, was a bit of family tradition. Both her parents were in the field, which meant they were constantly traveling during her childhood. Gone for long periods of time of trying to chase down one ‘treasure’ or another. Marc was 12 years older than her which meant as soon as she was born her parents felt he was old enough to care for her while they were away.

“Stay out of trouble okay, kiddo?”

Marlene rolled her eyes, “I’m 23 years old you know, I can handle myself for two weeks.” She gave him a light shove out the door. She quickly checked her watch and saw she was running late to meet James. James was Marlene’s best friend, when Marlene was 11 Marc was getting to the age where he was having to travel more for work so Marlene was enrolled in a boarding school. Her mom’s best friend, Mia, had a son Marlene’s age who had been going to a boarding school since he was eight so off Marley was shipped away to Scotland. It was like no time had passed for her and James, they were instantly inseparable again. They spent the next seven years getting into all kinds of trouble but when it came time for Uni James went back home to London, to Hogwarts and Marlene went to a school in Glasgow. She had finished up her history and exploration degree there but had returned to London to attend Hogwarts for her yearlong master’s program. She was glad she had Marc and James to return home to, she need people to hang out with in the city and so began their tradition of getting a pint every Friday.

Marlene scanned the pub for James, she quickly found him because of the unmistakable red head with him. James had met Lily at Uni orientation and had been pining over her ever since, they had finally gotten together the winter holiday before Marlene had come back. You wouldn’t know it had only been a year in half though, they were perfect for each other. Marlene happened to know that James was hoping to pop the question this coming Christmas, Marlene however didn’t think he’d be able to wait the 7 months. She felt a sudden rush of nerves as she approached the group, doing a quick scan to see if he had shown up. She hadn’t expected him to, he never did if she was going to be there but still any time it was more than just her and James, she wondered if he would finally buck up the courage.

“Marley!!” Well, James had definitely spotted her, and had already had a couple pints it seemed. He was out of his seat and arms around her lighting fast. James was a professional football player for Chelsea.

Marlene let out a giggle, only Marc and James called her Marley, “Hiya Jamie! Had a few, have ya?”

James just gave her that dazzling lopsided grin, “Yeah well you’re late,” Marlene was always late places, “Marc left today, yeah?”

“Yeah”

James could tell she was a little down about the whole thing, even after all this time, she always was when he left.

“We’ll lets grab you one and you can tell me all about what treasure he’s chasing this time.” Marlene said a quick hello to the rest of the group; Lily, Remus, Mary, and Peter. She hadn’t know them before moving back to the city, they were all James’ friends from uni but they quickly accepted her into the group. With the promise of bring back some for everyone she and James made their way to the bar.

“Another round please Tom, and an extra for Marley here,” With a nod from Tom, James turned to Marlene, “So? What’s the gold this time? And how long will he be gone?” James and Marlene used to love hearing the stories her parents and Marc would tell them when they were little, usually a little embellished with Pirates, witches and wizards. James had idolized Marc growing up, he believed everything that came out of his mouth as fact.

Marlene turned to James with a big grin and said “Oh Jamie, you’re going to love this one! Its real, like really real! The Hogwarts treasure, Marcs figured it out- well mostly, but he sure of it. The sword, diadem, cup and even the locket! And with it gold, lots of it!” Marlene had rushed it all out almost in one big breathe. She was staring at him wide grin and big eyes waiting for him to react.

James just stared at her, “Marley, what are you talking about? That’s an old ghost story, and even if it was true its rumored that some Riddle guy stole it all like a couple hundred years ago. No one alive, heck most people dead, haven’t seen that treasure.” He gave a little laugh, “There’s no way it’s real or could even be found.”

“Come on James, its Marc, you know how he is, he doesn’t actually leave the office himself unless he’s sure!” Marlene pleaded with him. Marc had mostly done code translating desk work. Marc claims that’s just what he’s best at and gets more done if he hops from translation to translation rather than solving one and chasing down a lead for weeks that might go nowhere, Marlene knows it’s because of her though, he always needed to be close by to care for her.

James glanced at her hopeful eyes, he had always been bad with telling her no, taking a drink from one of the pints Tom had brought, “Alright let’s say it’s not some old witch tale, what’s he got that makes him so sure?” He said it with just a hint of a smile that let Marlene know he hadn’t truly grown out of their pirates and treasure hunting days.

Marlene was giddy, “Last week they were cleaning out old archives down in the ‘dungeon’ and I guess no one’s really cleared it out in a while but you know how it used to be an old dorm? Well between boxes and things, there was still stuff past students had left behind. So they sent all that stuff to the archives office to see if any could be displayed for ‘Hogwarts History’, kind of an invasion of past students privacy and property if you ask me-“

“Marley, focus.”

“Right, sorry, anyway I guess Marc was sorting through the stuff and he came about an old diary, like really old. And it belonged to….” She took a dramatic pause, really wanting to build it up for James “Tom. Riddle.” She waited for his reaction eyebrows raised in anticipation.

James loved seeing her getting excited about this kind of thing, she had had a rough spring semester, “You’re serious?” She gave a quick glare but for another reason, he was quick to apologize, “Sorry, but I mean Tom Riddle, you mean the guy who supposedly stole all of the treasure. I didn’t even think he was a real person..”

“Well, believe it Jamie. He’s real and his diary gave some clues as to where he hid all the treasure!” She squealed, James wasn’t sure when it happened but he had just realized she had already drained her pint, and Marley was a light weight. After finishing her excited squeal she went to start on another pint, taking big sips.

“Oi! What’s taking so long, some of us are trying to get a nice buzz before the long weekend!”

Remus was shuffling through the crowd, he always worked the graveyard shift at the library on full moons for extra cash because it was said to be haunted and nobody wanted to work it. The full moon was tomorrow night.

Marlene turned, after downing half her second pint, “Lupe!!” Throwing her arms around him.

“Hello again, Marlene, what’s taking you two so long?” he was ever so slightly holding her up, she seem just a tad off balance.

“Just talking ghosts and long lost treasure.” She stated matter of fact. At this Remus quirked an eyebrow over her shoulder to James who just gave a smile and a shrug. Grabbing the pints they could, not letting her carry any, they made their way back over to the group.

“Oh finally, you’re back, Pete passionately telling us about how they switched the detergent for the towels at Stamford” Mary said with a roll of her eyes, James had gotten Peter a job at the stadium.

The group let out a collective laugh while Peter had a blush creeping up his face, “Well I just worry the change in scent with mess with guys head, that’s all. Don’t you agree James?”

James turned at the sound of his name, previously whispering something Lily’s ear. He gave a quick shrug, “Yeah, sure I guess, really its whatever Petey”

The night continued on in much of the same fashion, by the time it was winding down James had just returned from walking Lily out, her and Mary sharing a flat just a block away. He could tell from across the bar he was going to need to walk Marley home, he would walk her anyway but she was talking wildly with her hands and leaning very close to poor Peter, who looked a little afraid of her.

“-And then I want to use it to go to Peru for a few month you know, live off the grid, no electricity, even no pluming!” She looked so excited for the prospect of having to go into a hole in the ground but Peter just stared right back at her.

“Alright Marley, let me walk you home” James said with a sigh

“Oh Jamie really, I’m fine,” She stood from her chair and rocked nearly tripping and falling flat on her face but his quick reflexes caught her.

“Oh I know but Marc would kill me if he knew a let you walk home alone besides, I basically pass it on the way to my place” Marlene knew she needed the help but she was glad he just blamed it on the Marc thing. Bidding Peter a goodbye, she wrapped an arm around James and they strolled home.

As they walked the few block home, they talked about this and that and had somehow landed on the stars. As Marlene looked up she let out a deep sigh, “I’m sorry if I ruined things. But I tried to be civil.”

James still had an arm wrapped around her shoulder and he just pulled her closer, with a quick kiss to the top of her head, he began to reassure her, “Marley, you didn’t ruin anything. He’s been a real asshole lately. And a coward, I love the guy but I’m proud of you for what you said.”

He was one Sirius Black. James’ best friend from Uni, they had been random roommates freshman year and continued to live together until the graduated, then James moved in with Remus and Sirius got his own place. Marley had met him briefly over the years when she would come home for the holidays but really didn’t know him. When she moved back a year ago and James brought her into their group she got to know him better. He was funny, and careless but she liked that about him. Marlene, working on her masters, was often stressed and uptight so it was nice that he was carefree. Nothing had ever happened between them besides a little flirting until after the past winter hols.

Marlene would go out with James early on Fridays but would often skip the later, wilder group hangs because of school. One night James had gotten her to stay out and well one thing led to another and pretty quickly her and Sirius were seeing each other. Marlene didn’t want to think too much about it with trying to finish school so she figured it would just be this fun thing to help ease stress until she finished uni but honestly things started to move fast and not because of her. Sirius was pursuing her, constantly talking about how much he liked her, talking about all the fun things they would do during summer once she finished school, he was the one who brought up being exclusive. Marlene had started to let her guard down, and then one day out of the blue, he calls her up and tells her ‘he doesn’t have time for a serious relationship right now but he hopes they can still be friends because of the group.’ Right. He wouldn’t want things to be weird for the group, he’s worried about their feelings.

Marlene was hurt by the conversation but she wasn’t going to let carefree playboy know that, she quickly told him it was no big deal they had only been going out for like a month and a half. He wouldn’t need to worry about things being weird on her end. It was a 3 minute conversation and that was it.

Honestly Marlene was more mad than sad about the situation. She decided to call him the next day, all she wanted was a simple apology for being tossed aside like nothing. So She called explained how she felt she deserved at least an apology when he was the one pursuing the relationship, he didn’t apologize. He just said “sorry for the mixed signals”. Sorry for the mixed signals? It wasn’t mixed, it was one signal and then dramatically the opposite signal. Marlene was so infuriated that that was all he had to say but she also didn’t want to cause drama in a friend group that she joined late. When he clearly wasn’t going to give her more, she said that now that was out in the open and she (kind of) said what she needed to say they could be cool, there wouldn’t be any weirdness and hung up. That whole conversation lasted 5 minutes and Marlene is pretty sure she rambled for the first 3. They hadn’t spoken since, he hadn’t gone out with group once when Marlene was there.

“Mar? Earth to Marley?” James had pulled her from her thoughts, she hadn’t even realized they had made it back to her doorstep.

“Huh, sorry I just got zoned, you were right I might have had one too many” She said with a small smile, hoping he would believe that was all it really was.

“Alright beautiful, I was just asking are you sure you don’t want me to stay the night?” James said it with a teasing smile, when Marlene was younger she was terrified of staying home alone so anytime Marc had to travel she would go stay at James’ house (she did this well into her 20’s).

Marlene rolled her eyes and gave him a shove, “Yes, you dolt. I haven’t been scared of staying home alone in like two years.”

With a ruffle of her hair and a quick hug, she was up the stairs in bed.

The next week passed by rather unceremoniously, she finished up her final studies and worked on the last of her paper. She was going to skip Friday night drinks this week because she wanted to focus on getting her paper done, besides James and Marc were planning quite the pub crawl for the Saturday following her graduation ceremony.

She hadn’t heard much from Marc, which wasn’t unusual on his trips. He had sent her a quick text letting her know that he made it to his first stop last Friday night and this morning she received a letter. Marc loved to write letters and Marlene loved to tease him about it, telling him it made him old. The letter didn’t say much, just that he thought he was on to something and the diary seemed to be leading him in the right direction. He was looking forward to her ceremony and he had talked to mom and dad, they wouldn’t be able to make it, shocker. With that small but expected disappointment she refocused on her work.

Before she knew it, it was Saturday morning. She ran down the stairs, on special occasions Marc would always bake her blueberry pancakes but when she rounded the hall into the kitchen it was empty. That’s odd. She had assumed Marc had gotten in after she went to bed.

“Marc?” She gave a quick shout but no response. Maybe he was still asleep, he did just have a two week trip so she padded up the stairs to his room but no it was also completely untouched.

Marlene had a frown on her face and pulled out her phone. It rang like it was on and charged but still went to voicemail.

“This is Marc, sorry I missed your call, I honestly don’t know how to work this thing but leave a message and Marley will show me how to listen and call back”

“Hey Marc, its Marley and its Saturday. I just wanted to touch base before the ceremony but I’m just going to assume you’ll meet me there. Remember 10 o’clock sharp. You still owe me pancakes, see you soon.” She ended the voicemail and checked the time, if she got ready now she would have time to stop at the diner on the way in and grab a muffin.

Marlene peaked around the curtain hoping to spot Marc. She was bundle of nerves, she hated this kind of thing. The only reason she was walking in this dumb ceremony was for him. As she scanned the crowd she was beginning to think that no one had shown. I mean sure, she hadn’t invited anyone because again, dumb ceremony but still felt a twinge of disappointment that she was alone.

“Samantha Mathis”

Oh shit, she was next.

“Marlene McKinnon”

Straightening her shoulders she walked out on stage. As soon as she stepped out from behind the curtain there was a loud cheer from the back left corner. She took the diploma shook hands and turned out to the crowd for her picture. Rather than looking at the camera man she zoned in on the cheering group in the back. There was James, jumping up being the loudest as usual, and the rest of their group. She smiled for the first time that day and continued of the stage. The rest of the ceremony seemed to pass quick.

Marlene was bidding Samantha goodbye when arms scooped her up from behind and twirled.

“James stop, you’re going to make her sick” Lily admonished lovingly

“Yeah besides you have to share her with the rest of us!” Mary said before lunging for hug. The whole group had come, minus two of the usual boys. Marlene hadn’t expected him to show but maybe a congratulations text at least would have been nice. James had also mentioned that Peter had some family thing come up but he said ‘congratulations’.

Marlene just laughed and said her thank you to the group. She was looking around with a frown on her face.

With a huff she turned to James, “Have you seen Marc?”

James gave her a confused look, Marc would never miss this, “No? you haven’t seen him today?”

“No, you think I should be worried?” She was biting her lip into bits.

“I’m sure he just got held up and forgot to charge his phone. You know how he is” James was doing his best to reassure her, “Look we made a reservation for lunch and maybe he’s just planning on meeting us there. If we don’t hear from him after lunch, then we’ll worry ok?”

Marlene still felt hurt that he would miss this after he made it a big deal but she gave a shrug and headed to lunch anyway. Everyone tried their best to help get Marlene’s mind on other things and she did her best to let them. About halfway through lunch she felt a buzz, she quick grabbed her phone from her bag. It was a text from Marc!

“Hey Marly, got held up. Gonna b longer than I thought. Not sure when I’ll b home. See u soon XX”

Marlene read the text again, he didn’t even mention the ceremony. Sure she hadn’t wanted them to make a big deal about it but still she worked really hard for this. She really wasn’t in the mood anymore. James had just paid the bill and the group was gathering up to go to the next place, He glanced over to see what Marley was staring at. He felt a wave of relief when he saw it was a text from Marc.

“See Marley, he’s just chasing down a treasure for you. I know it sucks he wasn’t here but he knows how excited you were about the Hogwarts treasure I bet he didn’t want to come back empty handed.” He was giving her the best encouraging face he could.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, he can be so hyper-focused sometimes. He probably doesn’t even realize what day it is.” She was trying not to show how let down she was feeling, “listen Jamie, I’m really thankful for lunch and all but I was up early this morning and the ceremony really took it out of me. I think I’m just going to head home.”

“Oh Marley are you sure? I could come with you? We could build a fort and watch a movie.” He could tell she was trying to hold it together.

“Yeah I’m sure but you go and have fun, honestly I’m probably going to go home and take a long nap.” Marlene gave James a sad smile.

Marlene really was exhausted by the time she got home. She took a quick shower and changed into her favorite lounge clothes, as soon as she hit the bed she was out like nox. When Marlene woke she glanced at the clock on her nightstand to see it read 6pm. She could believe she had slept for that long, but then her stomach growled and she knew sleeping through dinner had been a mistake. Pulling out some left over take out from the week before she sat down and decided to give Marc a call. It went straight to voicemail again. She flipped over to the text he had sent her.

“Hey Marly, got held up. Gonna b longer than I thought. Not sure when I’ll b home. See u soon XX”

It was odd but it the more she read it, the more paranoid she got. I mean “Marly” that’s not how Marc usually spelt it. And the “b” “U”, she was constantly teasing Marc about how he texted like an old man, always full sentences and proper grammar. AND he hadn’t even mentioned the ceremony. She knew she was being paranoid but she just couldn’t get it out of her head that something was wrong. Maybe it was that she was alone in this big house or the talks of ghost and pirates but by the time she had finished her orange chicken, Marlene was sure that this was not a text from Marc.

Ok, so somebody had taken Marcs phone and texted her. Now what? She was pacing around the kitchen island, her lip beginning to bleed from biting. She needed to confirm her suspicion, she decided when he didn’t answer yet another call she would try a text.

“Hey Marc! No worries on getting home, Mom happened to be passing through and decided to stay a few days. See you soon X”

Alright that would work, Marc knows him mom would never stay a few days, also she was in the Andes for the summer. Now we wait.

Her phone buzzed almost instantly, odd she thought, if he was near the phone why couldn’t he just answer her call?

“Great! Glad she can keep u company!”

Definitely not Marc. Happy she hadn’t been going crazy and making theories in her head, but also NOT Marc. Marlene quickly grabbed her things and went down to the station.

“So you’re telling me, that your brother was off to find the long lost treasures and gold of some old university and he’s been kidnapped. And you know this because he texted you the letter ‘b’ instead of the word ‘be’?”

The officer was looking at her with a unimpressed face.

Marlene gave him a sheepish smile, “Well, yes.”

“Right. Ok, do you know where your brother was going?” His voice was full of disinterest.

“Well no, not exactly. He didn’t say, just that he had a lead he wanted to check out, and he would be gone for a couple weeks” Marlene at least had the decency to look like she knew it was far-fetched.

“Ok Ma’am, he was only supposed to return yesterday so it’s likely he just got held up. If you don’t hear from him in a week, come back and I’ll see what I can do.” With that he got up and ushered her to the door.

Marlene stepped out into the rain with a disappointed frown. Fine. If he wasn’t going to take her seriously, she would just find Marc herself.

[ajokeformur-ray]

How much of your assignment have you got left? Also, what're you gonna do to celebrate after it's turned in and your uni year is finished?

Honestly, most of it is undone still because I've been working the last few days. I have everything in the assignment planned (there's two papers in the assignment; and between them there's four research papers, three textbook chapters and countless webpages to use content from) and one of the introductions outlined/started and that's it💀

I have a day off tomorrow so I'll be up late tonight working on it and watching Hannibal 😭❤️

And when it's done, I have several plans to celebrate the finished uni year:

- go out for dinner with my parents (this one is a maybe, I doubt they'll remember they said we'd do this a few months ago and I won't remind them about it now or it feels like nagging🤣)

- go out drinking with coworkers (on a different night obviously)

- buy a PS5 and everything you need for that so I can play BG3 and "meet" Astarion! I've been wanting to do this since September last year but it's a massive purchase so I promised myself it would be an end of year gift to myself in June if I still wanted it. I do, so... I have an expensive purchase to make next month 🤣

[george-mackay-macfine]

Dear Diary Prt. 15

Word Count: 1,750 (Roughly) 

(I promise the word count is going to pick up again once we get through some of the shorter enteries, and into long ones again, at the moment we’re all just in Graces brain.)

December 25th, 2011

Dear Diary,

Happy Christmas!!

I don’t have time to go over the events of the morning right now, (Aunt Mildred sat me down and went over the first time she gave a blow job), Mum’s called me downstairs, apparently, I have a gift from Harry that came in the post.

I’ll write more soon!

Love Y/N,

--

December 27th, 2011

Dear Diary,

Sorry I didn’t write again the other day, after reminding myself about Aunt Mildreds blow job story I went downstairs and stole a bottle of vodka and spent the rest of the day drinking for God with my oldest cousin Jesse.

I did remember to drunkenly open Harry’s gift, it was a thick diary, with a handwritten note on the front page. It says;

Dear Y/N,

I didn’t know what to get you for Christmas but knew I had to get you something.

I always see you scribbling down in that old tattered diary of yours, so I thought I’d buy you a new one. Maybe when you write you’ll think of me.

Love Harry,

Isn’t that the sweetest! Harry Styles has to be the most thoughtful guy I have ever met.

Love, Y/N.

--

December 29th, 2011

Dear Diary,

I’m finally home. After an excruciating six days, (It was five an a half, but six makes me sound like a better daughter) with my family driving me mental about my medical degree, my love life, and how much wine I was drinking at dinner I’m finally home in my own bed.

Harry and Dean aren’t home until tomorrow, so I’ve got the flat to myself for the whole night. I’ve already messaged Tom and he’s on his way over with some food, and you guessed in more wine.

It’s good to be home Diary,

Love Y/N.

--

December 30th, 2011

Dear Diary,

It has become so extremely utterly apparent to me that I am utterly useless when it comes to sex and the opposite gender… Even more so than I already thought I was.

Let me tell you about last night, and how my utterly useless self realised I know nothing.

So Tom came over, and when I saw him standing at my front door with wine, take away and flowers, I swear my heart did a thousand backflips and well, diary I began to feel guilty about that kiss with George, so I did what any rational woman would do, and I practically jumped him at the door.

“I’ve missed you, Darlin’,” Tom whispered against my lips as I pulled him into the apartment, moving us back towards the settee. “Six days, too long,”

“Mhhm,” I agreed, lips still flush against his. Something took over in the back of my brain and I needed more of him as we fell onto the settee. “You’re jacket,” I began to pull it down his arms, “Take it off,”

“Y/N,” He pulled away, his full hands moving to my shoulders holding me still, “Slow down, we have all night for that,” He pulled me into his chest, “I’m beginning to think you only called me over for a booty call,”

“No,” I stuttered. “I missed you, that’s all…”

“Alright,” He conceded pulling away from me and standing, “If my girlfriend wants me to take my jacket off, then my jackets coming off.” He began to pull the fabric down his arms, stopping midway when he took in my shocked face, “Unless my girlfriend isn’t in this room?”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?” His jacket was halfway down his arms when he nodded his head.

“Yeah, I do,”

“Your girlfriend wants you to take your jacket off,” I whispered, watching as a smile broke out onto his face, the jacket falling to the floor.

“Whatever the girlfriend wants, she shall have,” He fell back onto the settee with me, a mess of limbs. “Well girlfriend,” He stroked my cheek softly, “You’re still coming to the party tomorrow aren’t you?” Tom’s New Year’s party.

“Yes, the boys and Charlotte are still right to come as well aren’t they?”

“Of course,”

“Then I will most certainly be there,” He smiled kissing me softly on the lips, “We should eat,” I whispered through another kiss, “Or we could do other things,”

“I’ve never seen your bedroom,” His hand drew over my knee in circles soothing my rapidly beating heart,

“You want to see my bedroom?” He nodded his head, “Okay,” I stumbled standing from the settee and crossing. The short distance to my small room. “It’s not very tidy, I was studying last night,” He walked inside, fingers running over nicknacks, picking up the diary Harry gave me. “Harry gave it to me for Christmas,” I missed Harry, and Dean being here without their constant football talk didn’t feel right. He smiled at it before setting it back down on the desk.

“It’s all very Y/N,”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I’m not too sure anything about you could be bad,” He laughed laying on the bed. “Beds not too comfortable, squeaks as well,”

“Loud bed,” as George had aptly put weeks before. “Not so great when you have a bad sleep,”

“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrow,

“Wakes everyone up,” He reached his arm out towards me beckoning me to join him on the bed. I padded over and sat beside him on the hard mattress. He reached out and pulled me down beside him, laying us close together. “Hi,”

“Hi,” He breathed our noses brushing softly as he moved.

“Hi,” I whispered back. He smiled, fingers resting softly under my chin as he brought our lips together, letting them brush together softly. The kiss became rougher as Tom pulled me closer, his hands running down my arm, stopping at my waist. My heart rate spiked as Tom’s lips left mine and moved across my cheek leaving a trail of kisses from my lips to my neck, the skin of my neck being pulled deviously between his teeth. “Ugh,” A strangled moan escaped my lips as I pulled at his short hair. “Tom,” My breath was whispery, nearly unrecognisable as Tom bit into the skin again. “Fuck,”

“You okay?” He pulled his head back up, meeting mine,

“Yeah,” I pulled his lips back to mine, unable to stop the hunger I’d found for him, for the feeling of his lips on mine. He pulled me over so we spun on the small bed, I was on top of him looking down at him as my hands worked on their own to pull his shirt off. He leaned up, pulling the shirt off his body and tossing it on the ground beside my bed. His skin was toned, and nicely tanned. My fingers traced down the expanse of exposed skin as his right hand went to my hip, squeezing the skin before moving back up, fingertips tracing underneath the thin fabric off my shirt. He looked me in the eyes as he moved it upward, exposing a small part of me to him.

I felt underneath me him hardening, God, it felt a lot bigger than Julians had when we made out, and I didn’t know what to do with his, how am I supposed to know what to do with Toms… His hips slowly, subconsciously rutted up against mine hitting me in my most intimate areas.

“Y/N,” He groaned as my hips accidentally moved down against him. “Do you have anything?”

“No,” I sat upright, the cold water of his words rushing over me. “I don’t have anything,” I swung my leg off him and sat down beside him, hand resting on his bicep. I looked down to the bulge in his pants. “I’m sorry,”

“Sorry?”

“Yeah,” I moved my head so I motioned to his crouch. “About that,”

“Hey,” He sat up, putting his hands under my chin, “Don’t be sorry about anything Y/N,” He kissed me softly. “It’s fine,” He whispered. “How about we go have tea before it gets cold?”

“Yeah, Please,” He stood up and helped me up, holding my hand the entire way to the living room where the forgotten bag of food sat. “What’d you get?” I asked as I sat on the settee watching him riffle through the bags,

“Italian,” He smirked sending me a cocky wink.

And that was it Diary, Tom asked me to be his girlfriend, we made out for the first time… I mean really made out, the kind of made out where you’re sitting there, and you feel everything… everything!!! and I am now constantly worrying about how his Penis…. more so the size of it… (Which felt quite big as we already know) and how it is going to fit anywhere near (or in) me.

When Sarah told me about losing her virginity to Freddie Ashmore in tenth I assumed she was making up how painful it was, you know, the stretching, but now having felt how big Tom is, I don’t think she was lying.

Not that I’m planning on losing my virginity to Tom ANY time soon… I don’t even know if it’ll be him I lose it too, maybe he’ll end up breaking my heart and I’ll die alone an old spinster virgin lady.

I hope not,

Love Y/N,

--

December 31st, 2011

Dear Diary,

I’ve been Tom’s girlfriend for nearly twenty-four hours now, and it’s kind of weird… The relationship already feels more mature then the one Julian and I were in, I think it’s because we’re in Uni, and we’re practically adults… at least he is, I’d rather be an adult in training - the juice in the bottle can be wine - Last night he went home after Midnight, giving me a final kiss and a promise of seeing me tomorrow, as we enter the New Year - together.

Speaking of New Year, How crazy is it that we’re nearly in 2012… Since finishing school the year has flown by, the first year of Uni is halfway finished, and I can’t believe it.

I really lucked out meeting the people I met this year and having them to spend my first year of Uni with.

I’ll give you an update of how the party went tomorrow Diary, hopefully, the hangover isn’t too bad.

Wish me luck,

And Happy New Year Diary,

Love Y/N,

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Red Desert - A. Irwin

original story by sarcastically-defensive17. Requested by the lovely @twinkyjohnson. Hope you enjoy, love! I finished this at 3AM so the ending sucks!

It had been a long time since Ashton was back home. Australia seemed like a whole world away from his life in L.A, but he was more than glad to be spending some time with the people he loves the most.

His mum met him at the airport and captured him in her vice-like grip the minute he walked away from baggage claim. He hadn't noticed the blonde woman bounding towards him until he was clasped against her shoulder and his phone was nearly knocked to the ground.

"My baby boy!" Anne Marie squealed, tightening her grip on her son, "I've missed you so much!"

He couldn't help but laugh and wrap his arms around the woman. His heart almost physically swelled at the feeling of his mother holding him, and he didn't even try to fight the smile that took over his face.

"Hey mama! How are you? How's Lauren and Harry?" His mother's blue eyes hold such a warmth that he had missed.

Calum had left L.A almost a week before Ashton to return home, and Luke and Michael were taking their respective significant others' on vacations to celebrate the well-earned break they had.

When Ashton learned of their time off, he knew exactly where he wanted to spend the next few months. His childhood home, with his siblings and mother. So, fresh off the stage after the last concert of their world tour, he booked a flight with no return trip in sights.

"You will see them at home!" she shushed him, before grabbing his wrist and adjusting her bag on her shoulder, "Come on, Mini's driving the car around because I refuse to pay for the price of parking."

His heart stalled at the name.

"Wait, why did you bring her?" He asked, but could barely hear the reply over the sound of the crowd. Anne Marie pulled him along behind her, much like she would when he was a small child and he chuckled at the nostalgia.

A blue jeep pulled up in front of the entrance, and Anne rushed him to get in before they were driving off.

The woman behind the wheel was possibly the scariest driver that Ashton had ever encountered and he kept a death grip on the handle above his seat.

"Whats up, Rockstar?" He heard her ask, and his eyes reluctantly darted to the front of the car.

Her own eyes were hidden by dark aviators, and he noticed the septum piercing that decorated her button nose.

"Hey, Y/N, how are you doing?" He could barely find his voice. He had always been nervous around her, his childhood crush getting the better of him even after years of being away.

He had never truly forgotten about his Mini-me.

Red, red desert, heal our blues, I'd dive deeper for you.

"Looking good, feeling good, Irwin."

He had never once been nervous around a girl. Not unless you count Y/N. They were best friends for so many years, until his career took off and she headed off to Uni. They lost contact. Now, the sight of her, matured into a woman when he left her as a girl, lips curled into a smile as she spoke to his mother.

It all came crashing back to him.

What a blessing to feel your love, Twilight moments with you.

They pulled up to the familiar house and Ashton scrambled out of the car as fast as he could.

Does that woman even know what a speed limit is?

A scoff sounded by the boot of the car and he turned to see the woman holing his bag out to him.

Rather than taking it, he took the moment to soak in the details of the person he had missed for many years. Despite the numerous times they had toured in Australia, their paths never crossed.

She hadn't gotten any taller, but the doc martens on her feet made her stand a few inches taller than her usual 5 feet. Hence the name 'mini'.

Her face had lost the baby fat, and it was if he were staring at a completely different woman.

She whistled sharply, snapping his attention from her half-covered face, "You gonna take your bags? Or am I your pack-mule as well as your chauffeur?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry," he could have sworn he felt a spark when their skin touched, but it could have been his nervous state reacting to her warm hand.

He didn't know, but what he did know, is that he wanted nothing more than to hug his former best friend.

I've been asleep so long, I'm so far away. Visions I see are strong, I hear what they say

"I don't know about you, Irwin, but I think we have a lot of catching up to do," she smiled. The dazzling gesture that makes his knees tremble.

He unconsciously ran a hand through his red hair, pushing it out of his face.

"What do you say? Pizza, beer and trashy movies at my place tomorrow night?"

His eyes widened, "Of course! I'd love to!"

He sounded more enthusiastic than one normally would, but the idea of spending time with somebody who holds such a dear place in his heart was thrilling to his mind.

She chuckled softly as he bounced between his feet, a sign, she knew too well, that meant he was embarrassed.

"Cool beans. Catch ya' later, Rockstar."

She called out a quick farewell to Anne, before climbing up into her car and speeding away.

He watched her turn off of his street with a small smile on his face.

"You coming in, kiddo? Harry's waiting for you," Anne called. She could tell from the sight of her son that he was revisiting the memories with the woman. The woman he thought he kept his feelings for a secret.

He turned back to his house, wrapping his arm around his Mum's shoulder and bursting through the door.

He missed the Red Desert he called home.

Won't you leave all your fears at the edge of the world?

He missed his hometown so much, but he also found himself missing L.A while he was gone.

He planned six months in Australia, and he was sure as hell going to spend every moment he could with his family.

And with her.

He knocked on her door five times, in a rhythmic pattern that they used as kids. She was living in her childhood home, having been left the place after her mother had passed a few years back so his mother told him.

"Come on in," he hard her call from beyond the wood.

Her back was turned to him as he walked in. She had no jacket on, and he could clearly see a crescent moon tattoo inked onto the back of her shoulder.

"It's been a while, Rockstar. I'm surprised you still remember our knock," She had a smile on her face as she turned.

"How could I forget?" He laughed softly, eyes locking on the dimples that sunk in her skin. "When did you get the tattoo?"

"After mum passed. Wanted something more permanent to remember her by, y'know?"

He nodded softly. He hadn't known about her mother passing. Not until a few months after when he was on the phone to his own mum, and she shared the news.

From what she said, Y/N wasn't coping too well since.

"I missed this place," he accepted a beer she handed him, his eyes moving to the walls that lacked photos.

She had removed so much from the home. He noticed boxes piled up in the corner of the lounge room.

She didn't reply to his comment.

"What made you decide to spend the next couple of months here?" She didn't meet his eyes, instead she kept focus on the rings on his fingers.

A little item of wardrobe that he adopted along with his band mates.

He was hoping she wouldn't ask him that question, as he didn't want to admit it to himself more than he had.

She noticed his silence.

I've been asleep so long, wasting away.

She remembers seeing that look in his eyes when they were teenagers. He wasn't okay.

She put her beer down on the counter, and closed her arms around her best friend. He slowly wrapped his around her much smaller frame.

He always loved how short she was.

"You can tell me anything, Ash. Always," She finally met his eyes, and he could see the hidden pain just as she could in his.

"I, um, I just needed some time back home. Some time to heal and find myself again." He cleared his throat, "It's getting a bit bad at the moment. Too much drinking, too much partying. Just scared of it going too far."

She pulled him to the lounge, and curled into his side like they would do many years ago.

"I've got you, Irwin. Take as much time as you need to heal. You've always got me," she promised, grabbing his large hand softly.

"I know, Mini."

The pizza arrived a few minutes ago, and she managed to get Ashton raving about his last tour, only for her to raise her hand and silence him half way through.

"Hold on, I need to call the police," she hid her smirk well.

"What? What for?" His eyes widened in alarm, and he dropped his plate to the table.

"I need to file a missing persons report," She went so far as to pull her phone from her pocket and unlock it. The man simply cocked a brow and waited for an explanation.

A giggle fell from her lips before she halted dramatically.

"I need to report that your accent is missing. You're sounding like a real yank," she winked at him, and before she knew it she had a piece of pizza slung at her face.

Ashton's loud laugh echoed through the room.

Red, red desert, heal our blues I'd dive deeper for you.

Being home worked wonders for his mood.

Unfortunately, the months went by faster than he would have liked.

He still found himself pining over the same woman he had for many, many years. At this point, he was adamant that he was in love with her.

He loves the random tattoos she had over her body, the way her eyes shine in the daylight. The way she took pride in the country she calls home, going as far to support the aussie cricket team despite disliking almost every person on the team.

The passion she has for music, the kind heart that has her offering assistance to the Irwin family, whom she treated as her own blood. Even the way she answers the door is amazing to him.

He simply adores every fiber of her being.

His nerves around Y/N has lessened dramatically in the time, and it is simply a nostalgia trip of their childhood life. One that is coming to an abrupt end in a few weeks.

He knew he needed to make his move.

What a blessing to feel your love, Twilight moments with you.

He knocked on her door - five knocks - and it swung open a few seconds after.

She saluted him as she had since they were younger and he beamed at the sight.

"What brings you here, Mr. All-American?" She winked and he threw his head back, a sigh leaving his lips.

"You did not just mock me with my own song title."

"You can bet your firm ass I did."

He blushed at the comment but stalked to the lounge in an effort to hide it.

"Uh, I have something to ask you, Y/N, and I'm kinda nervous about it," he twisted one of the many rings in his finger. A thick silver band with a large 'A' decorating it.

She entered the room with two glasses of water in hand, not wanting to bother Ashton too much after his confession about his fear of alcohol addiction.

"What's up?" Her eyes were wide and curious. She held the innocent look of a doe, and he smiled at her before sipping his drink.

"I'm heading home in a few days..."

Tell me, would you pack up all your bags, stay true to North? You're the only one I'd do this for.

"Oh," her voice was quiet, her eyes dropping to her hands.

"But, I was hoping you would come to L.A with me. If you want to, that is. There's no pressure! But I would love it if you did!" He began to ramble, but halted when he felt her smaller fingers thread with his.

"Ash, why do you want me to come with you?" She laughs slightly, almost in disbelief. "Why not take your mum? Or one of your siblings? I know Harry would love it."

"Mum needs to take care of the kiddos and Harry goes back to school soon. But that's beside the point - I don't want you to come for a visit, Y/N."

"Then what are you -"

"I want you to come and live with me."

The room goes quiet, and the only expression he can read on her face is confusion.

"I know you're not happy here, in this house," he pulls her hands in his lap, holding them both in his as his eyes connect with hers, "and I can't stand the thought of not having you with me."

Her heart races at the thought of Ashton wanting her around permanently. She can't deny the influx of feelings that had overwhelmed her since he returned.

Hell, she distances herself from him all of those years ago because she started to fall for him, but she knew a confession would affect his career. She wanted him to follow his dreams, rather than chase after a girl they both knew he had been in love with for years.

"Ash, our friendship can handle the distance," a quiet laugh leaves her lips, "We can keep in contact better this time round."

"Don't you see, Y/N? I can't handle the friendship anymore!" His voice was raised, causing her to jump.

He grew frustrated at himself. If he had told her how he felt all that time ago, maybe things would be different. Maybe he wouldn't have needed the break from the famous life.

"What?" Her eyes were glassy, and his hands went to her face.

"I don't want friendship, because I'm in love with you," he all but whispers, and her mouth drops open.

Red, red desert, heal our blues. I'd dive deeper for you.

"You- what? You are?" She gapes, mouth opening and closing as she struggles to find the words.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that-"

She pushes her lips against his, wrapping her arms round his neck and holding him close.

They melt into the kiss, both of them longing for the simple gesture for so many years.

What a blessing to feel your love. Twilight moments with you.

She pulls away slowly, resting her nose against his.

"I can't for sure tell you that it is love at the moment, but I have been in the process of falling for you since you got back. I liked you all those years ago but I was terrified of holding you back, because we both know you would have done whatever you could to make me happy."

"Y/N, I don't mind if you don't feel exactly the same way as I do, I just don't want to be without you. As long as you're willing, I want to be yours," his eyes were pleading, and she could see where his natural hair colour is growing through the red.

She brushed a hand through his soft locks, and kissed him once more.

"It would be a blessing to feel your love, Ashton," she smiled against his lips, and he wrapped his arms around her waist tighter than they were before.

Pack up all your bags, stay true to North. You're the only one I'd do this for.

He broke the kiss this time, searching her eyes for the answer he was looking for.

"Does this mean-"

"Yes, I'll go up north with you!"

He let out a hoot sound, standing and spinning the smaller girl around in his arms.

He set her on the ground when she squealed.

"So, did your 'red desert' heal your blues?" She gestured the quotation marks with a teasing smirk on her lips.

"Oh I am so stealing those as lyrics."

Red, red desert, heal our blues. I'd dive deeper for you.

[lov3nerdstuff]

Wicked Game {Part 3}

~Professor Hiddleston AU~

*Tom Hiddleston x reader*

Part: 3/?

Words: 4k

Warnings: Professor x student (college AU)

Summary: After transferring to a new university for the last year of your master's, you meet Professor Hiddleston and soon find yourself unable to stay away from him.

A.N.: I really suck at summaries, I'm so sorry 😅 this is a slow burn romance with lots of pining 💗 so this is where things get really interesting!!! I've currently finished chapter 5 already and I honestly can't wait for y'all to sit squealing on the edge of your seats haha

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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It was Tuesday, another day with another Hiddleston class. That was your first thought when you woke up two hours before your alarm, groaning and tired. After admitting to yourself last night that you were indeed crushing on your professor, you had hardly been able to sleep at all. Even if you'd never have any kind of relationship with him outside of an entire professional one, you still felt like the past four weeks were heavy weight on your heart. You needed to talk to him, if only to apologise for whatever you'd done wrong in that first week. However you saw that there were limited ways to actually do that without making the awkwardness between you even worse. For a moment you were tempted to buy him coffee once again, but quickly dismissed the idea. Maybe you could try to stay after class and talk to him… but then you'd be a small spark in the raging fiery pool of girls, desperate for his attention. An email? That seemed a little bit impersonal, even for your weird whatever-it-was. So you settled for a small note that you'd drop in his office before class. Rolling out of bed (despite it being so fucking early, dark and cold) you wrapped yourself in your blanket like a burrito and sat down at your desk. You wouldn't use any of your fancy paper or pens, that would've been a bit too much, but a plain white sheet and a plain black pen would do.

Dear Mr. Hiddleston.

I couldn't help but notice how, over the past weeks, things have been weird between us and I hate it and I want you to be nice again because I'm heavily crushing on you and this is fucking stupid.

You groaned and hit your head against the tabletop. That wouldn't work, not at all. You needed to talk to him, before class, even if it was only to briefly get your apology out. If things remained weird after that, at least you couldn't blame yourself for not trying to better thing between you. But you also wanted to do more than say sorry, you wanted to make him smile, to see him happy like on the first day you had met. So you got out another piece of paper and aimed for something entirely different...

After taking a long and hot shower, you got dressed in something cute and comfortable, did your hair with a little more effort than usual and packed your bag for the long day ahead, hiding your little letter between a stack of books.

"Hey Y/n…" Your roommate came sauntering out of his room into the hallway and you could already tell that this day had just taken a turn for the worse. "Uhm, I have this thing going on tonight and… well, I don't think it's gonna be a good place for a… woman." He mumbled, not even brave enough to look you in the eye.

"You do realize that this is also my apartment and I pay more rent than you do?" You groaned, crossing your arms in front of your chest. This was not the time to deal with the fundamental problems of your housing, but obviously he was being serious about that.

"I know, I know… but please, Y/n, it's really important. Can't you stay with a friend for the night?" He whined, walking too close to you for your liking.

"I'm sure I will be fine in my room tonight." You replied defensively, backing up against the still closed front door.

"Those guys… you know, who always hang here… they saw you in that little dress you wore last night and well..." He insisted. "They always get what they want, you must know that!"

As you frowned deeply at him, he continued.

"Look, I'm just trying to look out for you. You really really really don't wanna be here tonight."

"Stop inviting people who want to harm me then!" You shouted, definitely not in the mood for this conversation. He was a fucking creep and you seriously considered getting into debt just to get away from here.

"I didn't invite them! They…" He started shaking a little. "I kinda owe them a little for… stuff. I beg of you Y/n to stay gone for just one night. Then I promise they won't ever come back."

"Not ever?" You asked roughly. "No more destruction, no more shouting, no more shadowy business?"

"I promise!" He stood straight and looked more or less serious about this.

With a groan you returned to your room, grabbed all valuables you could stuff into your backpack (it weren't many for you'd always feared 'someone' would steal them), along with your materials for tomorrow's studies and then locked the door from the outside.

"I swear I'll call the cops if those guys ever come back. Or if anyone enters my room." You grumbled as you pushed past your roommate, repeatedly asking yourself why exactly you were doing him this favor.

"Thank you Y/n, I owe you!" He called after you as you stepped outside into the chilly morning air.

"Big time!" You called back, making your way to the Metro station. Only when you were starting to get uncomfortably cold, you realized that in the heat of the argument you had completely forgotten to put on your coat. With a sigh you decided that you wouldn't be outside for long anyway and just hurried even more on your way to uni.

After a short debate with your bank account you got yourself a large coffee before heading to campus. It was still super early and you hoped that Hiddleston wouldn't be there so you could still get stuff done before he arrived. Unsure if it was the right thing to do, you slipped into his office unnoticed, placed the letter on his desk and made your way to the lecture hall as quickly as possible to have some more alone time to relax before the madness of the day would start.

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When Tom got out of his car, he quickly debated whether or not he needed a jacket for the short way to his office. Deciding against it, he only took a few steps before someone called out to him.

"Hey Tom!" His friend Benedict shouted from over at his car.

"Morning…" Tom sighed, slinging his bag around his shoulders.

"What's got you so moody?" He inquired as he joined Tom in his walk towards the building.

"Nothing I want to talk about, Ben…"

"Oh, come on! Is it the freshman class? I told you those…"

"No, it's not the freshmen!" Tom rolled his eyes and glared at his friend for making him talk. "I… have issues with a student."

Now it was Benedict's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh don't tell me it still gets you all upset when you have to give people a bad grade. That happens all the time!"

"No, it's not about the grades." He sighed, digging his hands into his pockets.

"Is it those girls who appear seemingly out of nowhere to stalk you? We've talked about that before, it happens to me, too, all the time…" He talked on and on and Tom didn't know if he should laugh at his rambling or punch him in the shoulder.

"Just let it go. Please, Ben, I don't want to talk about it right now."

Benedict shrugged. "If you say so… but I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks…" Tom said as they walked through the main door, enjoying the warmth that surrounded him here in the hallway.

"Good morning! Mr. Hiddleston, Mr. Cumberbatch…" A female student squealed at them out of nowhere, making both men jump. To their luck, she walked away as quickly as she had appeared.

"Does this get worse every single day or is it just me?" Tom asked his friend as they continued their way to the faculty's tower.

"I think you're just having a bad day."

"More like a bad month."

"Is that when your 'issues' started? A month ago? But that was…"

"Yeah. First day of classes." Tom ran a hand through his hair and turned to Benedict sharply. "If you must know, I'm having a really, REALLY hard time not doing something incredibly stupid and it's slowly eating me up from the inside. Are you happy now?"

Benedict just stared at his friend in surprise, for Tom was the last person who would ever snap at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… well." Tom apologized immediately, sounding more like himself again.

"It's fine. Maybe you should try to get your issues with the student sorted out, even if it's annoying. Talk to them, today if you can. I can't have my best friend walking around looking like he might murder someone soon." Benedict gave him an encouraging smile once they reached his office, then he disappeared behind a stack of books on his desk.

Already feeling a little better, Tom made his way to his own office. Ben was right, he needed to do something about this mood he had fallen into. After all, he enjoyed his work and he enjoyed teaching. And that meant he would have to talk to you. Soon.

When he walked into his office, it took him a moment to shake off the gloom of the morning, but the prospect of talking to you today got his heart beating and the corners of his lips twisting upwards. Once he finally sat down behind his desk, he spotted a neatly folded piece of paper on pile of books. Frowning, he unfolded it and started to read.

I wish I wrote the way I thought; obsessively, incessantly, with maddening hunger. I'd write to the point of suffocation. I'd write myself into nervous breakdowns, manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I'd write about you a lot more than I should. - Benedict Smith

For a long while Tom stared at the little piece of paper and the neat handwriting. He had read that quote before and thought that it held a lot of truth in it. If we would just write straight out what we thought instead of censoring ourselves, we would reach a deeper level of authenticity, and of understanding for literature. Whoever had placed this little quote here in his office must've known that he would appreciate it; probably one of his colleagues after he'd left last night. It wasn't really important who sent it, but that it made Tom smile. In fact, he was still smiling when he walked to the lecture hall for his literature class. Before he could even open the door, he already heard a quiet voice singing inside and his stomach started doing backflips. But he had wanted to talk to you and he would do it.

"Good morning." He announced his presence as he stepped into the room, his voice a little hoarse. You jumped, making him bite his bottom lip to suppress the smirk that wanted to force its way through his barriers.

"Good morning professor!" You replied in a voice that sounded just as nervous as he felt. "I'm sorry about my singing, again…"

"And again I say don't worry about it." He smiled at you politely. "I enjoy the song. Very much so. Wicked Game… it's one of my favorites."

"Oh…" You looked at the books in front of you and Tom asked himself why on earth he had to keep making you uncomfortable all the time.

"Uhm… Miss L/n…" He started, unsure of how to put into words what he needed to get out. "Would you… would you be so kind and help me put these papers on everyone's tables?"

"Of course!" Your reply came quickly and he couldn't help but genuinely smile as you tried to climb out of the tower of books you had built around yourself.

"I wanted to talk to you anyway, Mr. Hiddleston…" You said as he handed you a stack of paper. "I… I'm not sure what I have done wrong during the first week of class, but since then I feel like I'm on your bad side. And I would very much like to change that. I'm very sorry if I have overstepped my boundaries or been disrespectful."

When Tom looked at you, standing right in front of him with eyes so sad that he could drown in your unshed tears, he felt his heart break a little. His eyes went wide in surprise and regret and he couldn't blame himself more for your sadness. Yet, he found himself at a loss for words once again, opening and closing his lips like a fish stranded at the shore.

"You… you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I'm so sorry that I made you think that." He finally got out and saw you visibly relax in front of him. He, however, still felt miserable and it showed.

"Are you alright?" You asked, looking concerned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No!" His reply came too quickly and his mouth felt utterly dry. "I… I'm sorry, I've had a rough month. If I made you feel uncomfortable or unappreciated… in class, I dearly apologize for doing so."

You let out a long breath, looking at the papers in your arms, then back at Tom with a small smile. "Thank you, professor. This was kind of really important to me, I absolutely love your classes and it was…" You stopped mid-sentence, looking away from him.

"Please do go on." He smiled at you, a sincere and curious smile and he watched you blush adorably.

"Well, it's just… I tried so hard to be good enough that I got quite far ahead." You bit your bottom lip and peaked up at him through your lashes.

"What's so bad about that?" He leaned his head to one side and kept smiling at you, unable to stop now that he knew that you weren't, in fact, mad at him.

"It's bad because I'm having a really hard time not interrupting you from time to time to throw in some new info that I read about." You laughed nervously. "I… kinda wanted to impress you."

Now it was for Tom to blush, he could feel the heat on his cheeks even before it became visible. At the same time however, a cold shudder ran from the top of his head right to his core.

"Well…" He smiled, which turned into more of a nervous laugh. From the red on your cheeks and the tiny smile on your face he could tell that you felt equally… hopeful about this conversation. "You already are the best student in any of my classes, that's for sure." He said. "And I would love to hear your opinion on the topics."

If he wasn't completely mistaken, there was a hopeful glimmer in your eyes, a spark of certainty and excitement that made him continue. "If… if you'd want that, you could… uhm… write down whatever you want to say in class, and whatever comes to your mind about the topics and give those notes to me at the end of class. I'll read over it and make my own comments, then pass it back to you and so forth."

Tom didn't know if he had just made his life easier or way more difficult, but when he looked at you positively beaming at him, he couldn't help but smile.

"I would love that." You replied with a huge smile of your own.

"You could call it extra credit, if you want…" He let out a breathy laugh and ran a hand through his already messed up hair.

"Nah, I don't want any credit for it." You grinned. "I'm just trying to learn."

"Not that you would need it anyway." Tom smiled back at you and after another minute of just being flustered and observing each other, he finally tore himself away from your captivating presence to pass out the papers before the rest of the class would take their seats. You did the same, humming quietly, but Tom could hear it nonetheless. As he placed paper upon paper on the tables his eyes kept darting between you and the task at hand. He felt like a giddy school boy, all tingly on the inside, but he forced his body and mind to calm down. He had wanted to ask you to discuss your opinions over coffee after the lecture, but fortunately he had realized soon enough that going out for coffee in the middle of the day would've been a bit too much. The idea with interchanging notes was both appropriate for a professional relationship and a good way to get to know you. Maybe, this arrangement would finally allow him to walk the thin line between his desire for you and his attempt to keep said desire to himself. However, your encounter today had also shown him that you wanted his attention, even if only on an academic level. And that you were by no means opposed to out-of-class time together. For a single day and after a whole month of pining on his part this was absolutely fabulous. So he didn't stretch his luck and went to prepare for his lecture.

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You couldn't believe your luck when you sat back down in your chair, hiding your huge grin by sipping on your water. Talking to him had been such a good idea, and even if it had only made you fall for him so much more, you could at least be sure now that he wasn't mad at you. And he was willing to hear about your thoughts of the topics. That was so much more than you had hoped for, and yet so much less than you had dreamed of. Digging through your backpack, you pulled out a journal that only had the first few pages filled. Those you ripped out carefully and done: you had a place to take notes for Hiddleston.

With a loud slump, Sky sat down next to you and immediately started talking.

"Y/n, you won't believe what just happened!" She sighed while the other students started to take their seats.

You could see Hiddleston grinning to himself, before you turned your head towards your friend. "Try me." You chuckled and rested your head in your hands while listening.

"Woah, what's the good mood about?" She asked with exaggerated surprise.

"You go first! What happened that is so incredible?" You laughed at her and poked her in the shoulder with one finger.

"I know I said I'm not into dating and stuff… but there's this amazing person and they… asked me out. I said yes, can you believe that! We're going for dinner tonight." Sky grinned at you and seemed genuinely excited.

You couldn't help but grin in return. "That's amazing! A nice boy, or girl, or whoever, will do you good."

"They don't label themself and I won't either. I'm cool with that." She shrugged. "I'm just really excited."

"Yeah I get that!" You laughed. "I wish you good luck with them and a very nice evening."

"Thank you!" Sky sighed and bit her lip. "Uhm… I know that's a really stupid thing to ask of you, but I'm kinda super broke at the moment and also kinda super hungry…"

You rolled your eyes with a smile. "I can buy you lunch after the lecture."

"Oh you're the absolute best Y/n! I'll pay you back, I promise!" She pulled you into a tight hug and you let it happen with a smile. Hopefully you still had enough cash to buy lunch for two…

"Alright, good morning everyone!" Mr. Hiddleston said loudly to get everyone's attention. "Let's get started on today's topic."

With a smile, you turned towards the front and started your written commentary of the lecture.

"What are you doing?" Sky whispered to you once she noticed that you weren't taking notes of what your professor said, but instead writing down little snippets of information or thoughts.

"... Extra credit?" You mused, only partially happy with your answer.

"Is that why you seem so happy?" She grinned. "Because you talked to our handsome puppy down there?" She motioned toward Hiddleston with her head.

You let out a way too loud snort at her words, which made a few people turn their heads towards you, but Sky didn't seem to mind. "Actually… Yeah, Hiddleston seems so much happier than usual. You did talk to him didn't you!" Sky playfully punched you in the shoulder. "Asked him out on a date yet?"

"Sky!" You hissed, blushing bright red. "He's a professor! Stop those wicked comments…"

"But you can't seriously tell me anymore that you're not crushing on him. C'mon Y/n! You're practically undressing him with your eyes!"

"Stop it! I'm not!" You tried to keep your voice down as much as possible. When Sky looked at you with an who-are-you-kidding expression, you rolled your eyes. "Alright, I… I kinda might have a little crush on him, okay? Can you shut up now?"

Sky pretend to zip her lips closed and you could finally focus back on the lecture.

After class was over and everyone was packing their bags, you thought about it for a second and then added can't wait to hear your thoughts :) to your notes. Then you flipped the journal shut, sealed it with the weird elastic that was attached to it and grabbed your stuff.

"You coming?" Sky asked as she made for the exit.

"Gimme a sec, I gotta talk to Hiddleston." You replied and ignored the knowing grin that Sky shot your way.

You kept your eyes fixed on him as you pushed your way through the usual crowd of girls and when you reached the very front, a few of them even started protesting and elbowing you in the ribs.

Once he noticed you, he simply ignored the babbling girl he was forced to listen to before and you could see the despair in his eyes.

"Uhm, professor, I… we have to go to this… meeting… with the board, immediately, you remember…?" You said loudly and motioned towards the door, hoping he would catch on.

And he did, after a mere second of doubt. "Ah, yes! How could I forget that!" He replied, grabbed his bag in an instant and started making his way through the crowd, following closely behind you. "I'm very sorry, but you all will have to come to my office hours or send an email if you want your questions answered." He called over his shoulder at the irritated girls, while he rushed towards the exit with you. At the door, you grabbed Sky by the arm and lead your group of three around the next corner before finally slowing down.

"What on earth was that?" Sky laughed, looking at you, then at Mr. Hiddleston.

"That, Miss Monroe, was a brilliant save in the last second." He replied with a chuckle. "Miss L/n here saved me a good thirty minutes of meaningless questions from attention seeking students."

You held out the journal to him and grinned. "Did it for utterly selfish reasons. I didn't want to wait to hand this in."

He took the black notebook from you and held it tightly again his chest. "Thank you nonetheless." With another smile he bowed ever so slightly, making Sky giggle.

"Have a nice day, you two." He said then and walked a few steps down the hallway, before turning around once again. "Oh, and Y/n! I'll let you know when you can pick up the notebook." With that and a huge grin, he made his way towards his office, rounding a corner and then he was out of sight.

"Oh well, that was something…" Sky laughed, starting into the opposite direction to head to the cafeteria.

You however remained frozen to the spot, staring after your professor.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Sky asked with concern once she noticed that you weren't coming.

"He…" You frowned, feeling hot and cold, numb and very much alive at the same time. "He just used my first name…"

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General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @thidls12333

Wicked Game Tags:

@just-the-hiddles @inmyworstlies @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @foodthatsgoodforyoursoul @jessalynjones1989 @dark-night-sky-99 @hiddles-lobotomy @shockwavee @laudylovesyou @maze-lt101 @cupcakeangelness @fairlightswiftly @lys-syl @ordinarygirlfromasmalltown @pinkzz123 @spookycatqueen @exygon @izzy10718 @jenna-sakura @hiddlescastle @starklymydear @darkprincessloki92 @kinghiddlestonanddixon @alt-er-love-er-alt @timetraveler1978 @dreary-skies-stuff @daddys-littlewhitegirl @justthatfangirloverthere @lucantis @missvilsana

[badgersettlement]

Obey Me! transMC (OC) x Lucifer (Part 1)

After the exchange program (before going back)

Also MC having to deal with some shit from before their exchange (old crushes and so on)

I guess this is my first fic post ever... I had inspiration to write about my transMC Miguel (Mars) and well... Uh I don't know if it's good or not so yeah :') I hope u enjoy even if it's an OC Insert.

OCs: Miguel (Mars), Conan (his friend and colleague)

Warnings: Uhhh I guess alcohol consumption...? mention of terfs or so idk 

"Attachment to the other side"

Whenever I think back to that time... My memories come back as vivid as they were the day I first arrived at that place. The Devildom.

It was a crazy experience, a crazy dream, that changed my life.

I learned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot...

I suffered harder than I ever have before.

But...

I also loved harder than I ever did before.

I gazed into the eyes of death, and fell in love.

Hopelessly, desperately clinging to sanity.

My hand grazes the pact seal directly above my heart.

My home was chaos when I returned.

I hurt a lot of people with my disappearance.

Although it was tough and hard to do, I managed to get the balance back in my life.

A new feeling constantly plaguing it.

I miss them.

I miss them so much it hurts.

I want to go back. I want to stay there forever.

I miss him. I miss Lucifer.

Satan was right.

When I returned to the human world, a lot of opportunities presented themselves to me.

Being liked by the avatar of greed made me abundant in money. And being liked by the avatar of lust brought a lot of suitors along, craving to make me theirs.

At first it was overwhelming.

I worked hard to achieve my dreams, but I wondered if this outcome wasn't too exaggerated: 

Too good to be true.

Eventually I got used to it. I was grateful don't get me wrong. But as much as I'd like to say the opposite, all those riches didn't make me happy.

They made my life easier, yes, but the one thing I wanted wasn't near me. We were literally worlds apart.

It was so hard. Every day, every week, every month when I talked to them, not to break out in tears and beg them to pick me up and just let me live with them.

No. I needed to become stronger, independent, someone to be proud of! Only then... Only then could I allow myself to go without regrets.

And with these thoughts in mind, three years had passed.

I owned the apartment of my dreams and I worked as a dance instructor for the entertainment industry.

I had, undoubtedly, become more mature and serious (at least for my job). An aura of pride and authority could be felt wherever I went. For the first time in my life I was perceived as arrogant and unapproachable.

As an instructor and a manager I needed to maintain a face of professionalism and authority in meetings regarding my idols and trainees (to even get a say in the matter).

I wore black gloves to my attire, no matter the weather. Mostly to cover up my pact marks but... Maybe that was my way of feeling nearer to him.. maybe it was coping or a fashion choice. I don't know.

On this particular evening, I went for a drink with a colleague of mine, whom I also knew from university days. He had known me before my disappearance and him still being my friend after all that, I considered straight up a wonder. The only problem was, that his interest in me wasn't only platonic anymore. I had pretended not to notice, but he was making it clearer and clearer by the way he behaved...

"So", he took a sip of his beer before putting it back down again, "don't you want to tell me about the new guy who wanted you so badly he even followed you to your workplace?"

I sighed.

"He was introduced to me by the director. Apparently he immediately took a ... Liking to me and started to persistently ask me out."

"Hmm", Conan hummed taking another sip.

I leaned against the counter.

"I've been trying to reject him in all sorts of ways, but he just won't listen. He doesn't want to understand and apparently he doesn't care that I am... Not a woman. The moment I correct the use of my pronouns though, he starts to get all offensive, starting to talk about biology and whatnot."

I sigh again, this time I take a deep chug of my wine.

"So a terf, huh.", he shrugs, "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Well, if nothing else works, I guess I'll need to inform the director. It could disrupt the workflow and I won't stand for that."

"Ohhh Mister Instructor is scary"

I chuckled. "Ehh I am not though"

As we started to get a little tipsy, his mood began to shift. I didn't notice at first, but he suddenly looked at me in a more serious manner than before.

"Miguel."

"Hm?"

Breathing out he put his glass down once again (how many had it been?) and positioned himself for his body to face me.

"You know, there are so many people who want you... Ever since the time you came back you have been rejecting everyone left and right.. giving always one and only one explanation" ,I tensed up at his words, "that you are already 'bound to someone' and.. I just need to ask.. is .. is it the same guy you met during the year of your disap- 'exchange'?"

Suddenly, I really wanted to go home.

"I...", I adjusted my posture, "I would be lying if I said no. Yes. It's.. it's the same person."

"So you've been hung up on a guy, you can't even meet for whatever reason?"

My nails dug themselves into my skin.

"Well, it's not that simple.. I.. I can't really meet him right now, but that will change-"

"But you guys aren't even dating, right?", he interrupted.

I flinched at that and tried to compose myself before he could see the insecurity reflecting on my face.

"Well no. We aren't. But it's complicated-"

"Then let me ask you this: why are you, saving yourself for someone who isn't tied to you, who you can't even meet, who only calls you and mind you it's never even a video call? Even though", he looked me straight in the eyes, "there are so many people out there, who want you, who deserve you so much more."

Yep. He's definitely drunk.

And he's overstepping my boundaries. Greatly.

I took a deep breath.

"Look even though you might be right about some things you said, you don't know the situation. And honestly-"

He interrupted me again.

"What if he's cheating? It wouldn't even be called cheating! He could be having so many people on the side! See what situation you are in? Maybe he's just using-"

BANG.

I slammed my glass on the table.

"Conan. I would really appreciate it, if you stopped. You're overstepping my boundaries. And frankly it's making me uncomfortable."

He stared at me, shocked for a second, but began to laugh almost hysterically.

"Oh I'M overstepping my bounds? Please Mars, don't make me laugh. Before you disappeared for a year, to god knows where, you promised ME something remember? Back then at uni, you said you liked me, and that you wanted to be with me. But I was not sure if I was really ready for a relationship yet...

So you said you'd wait and boom. You disappeared!"

So that's how he's been seeing this.

"Conan, I-"

"And then you come back, strange tattoos on your body and all.. all... Different? And suddenly you don't remember your promise, and you talk about these people you consider 'new family' and how much you miss them and miss him and whatever the fuck there is...", he looks like he's about to cry, "and what about me? What about us?"

"I'm sorry Conan... I really am. I-", I let out a frustrated sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, "Things simply didn't turn out like I thought they would. That's why-"

"Yeah fuck that. Really. You should at least give me a chance! I don't care what gender you are, you're beautiful and intelligent and I just ... I realized it only when you disappeared... How much I needed you.. I deserve a chance!"

I just shook my head giving him an empathetic look: "I'm sorry."

"No! Not sorry! Give me a chance, I ... Come on I deserve one, Miguel. Don't discard me like all those extras craving for your attention-"

This was getting annoying real quick.

"Conan, I never tied myself to you. And I never promised anything. We were young and I had a crush, yes, but that's it. Let's talk about this when we've cleared our heads, okay?", I waved at the barkeeper, "I would like to pay please."

"You can't treat me like this!", he grabbed my arm.

People around us were starting to glance over and the barkeeper looked at us with a worried expression before interjecting.

"Is everything alright over here?"

I shot him a smile.

"Yes, yes in fact I am leaving. Please don't worry about us.", my eyes met Conan's, "Mister Capinter, I kindly ask you to release my arm this instant. I am in no way obligated to explain myself to you, n'or is this any of your business. Romance between colleagues is highly unprofessional and I would like to keep it the other way."

He scoffed as I yanked my arm off his grip.

"If you will excuse me-"

"Every. Fucking. Time. Every time I try to get closer to you, you get all defensive and stuck up and start talking exactly like that. Like you don't even know me-", he shouts after me, "It's your fault I am like this!!!"

At this point, I am already out of the door on my way home. I couldn't have stayed too long anyways... Since I actually had plans to receive a call from someone. Although it was hard focusing on that, when I just walked out of a stressful situation like this.

When I arrive home, I take off my gloves and throw them on the counter while letting myself fall into the sofa, a frustrated sigh leaving my lips. My hands cup my eyes when I curse quietly. As my fingers slowly move towards my necktie to losen it my mind picks up on the trail of thoughts I had tried to ignore.

Will he remember this tomorrow?

Was this relationship based on his unrequited feelings all along? I don't want to lose him as a friend, but this just makes it harder...

Fuck.

I thought back on what he said:

'He could have other people on the side'

I trust him. I trust him, but even so.. it's not like I didn't think about him being with others. I do worry. I do, but I... I have to trust him. I just have to. What other choice is there?

I stood up.

"Oof.. I still need a drink."

Following my urge, I opened up a bottle of wine and poured me a glass.

And another one.

And another one..

Until a loud ringing woke me up from my daze.

On very tipsy feet, I made my way towards my D.D.D.

The display lit up, revealing the face and name of all my desperation.

I picked up.

"Lucifer."

[curlyhairallday]

Bumps and Dumps - Part 6

Harry and Hattie were best friends and fuck buddies until she got knocked up. Her life was becoming one big mess and even though her best friend had finally admitted his feeling but she believed it is only because of the baby.

Harold: Him…….

Hatters: We were just friends Harry and he actually seems to care about me and he didn’t have to knock me up to realise.

Harry kept rereading the text he finally realised how bad he had screwed up his chances with her. He had always known she liked him for the most part he never realised though that one day when the universe had made it clear he can be selfish he can have her she would no longer want him. He had spent the whole of the SNL after party looking at this photo of her and fucking sink boy. Aj had been his only real threat and now he was playing the role of Dad to his unborn baby, he should be rubbing her back not him. Ever since that skit all he thought about was them going to birthing classes, getting the nursery ready in the new house and talking to her bump. Harry had been getting updates from Gemma apparently Hattie had the tiniest bump which more looked like she was bloated but only they knew it was their spud.

He tried to type her a message several times and gave up. He just kept looking at that photo he went onto twitter to see what his fans were saying. He knew Jeff would come over and try and come up with a plan to diffuse the situation but he also knew Jeff wouldn’t care as after looking at his fans tweets everyone was speculating he was going to become a Godfather to Aj’s baby all he wanted to tweet was it’s mine. Most people had assumed she had just drunk a few too many and was paying the price. Harry was so wrapped up in his phone he had forgotten that he had invited his mates to the after party including two of his exes Kendall and Camille.

“What you looking at Styles.”

Kendall quickly grabbed his phone away, Kendall had never quite known what was going on between him and Hattie but she herself thought they were meant to be together. Kendall had realised shortly into her fling with Harry that their was another women and she had never disliked Hattie the two had got on well. They were not best friends but that was because they were opposites Kendall and Camille were both slightly vain and their lives were hollywood. Where as, Hattie dreamed differently something Harry found intriguing she hated the spotlight and anything glitz and glam she craved a different lifestyle she loved fighting for people to get their attackers behind bars and helping men and women to prosecute their other halfs for domestic abuse. She didn’t need attention or money she needed to help. Where as, Camille and Kendall spent time and money on the latest clothes to look cool which is something them and Harry had bonded over, Hattie spent most her time around the house in his hoddies or merch. He tried not to compare them to Hattie when he had dated them both as he knew no matter what they would always fall short. Even when Hattie lectured him on the dangers of drug use or how he shouldn’t smoke or allow Camille to smoke in the house because his lungs wouldn’t work very well and he wouldn’t be able to hold the high notes, Hattie was a goody goody in that sense and Harry loved her for that. Now she would save her lectures for court when she realised that her child was better with Aj as a father than this fuck up. He downed his drink to help with the sorrow.

“So Harriet is having fun, wow look her new boyfriend is hot.”

“Of course.”

“Come on Styles you are normally the first to admire a man's good looks.”

“I’d admire them if he had any, she could do better.” Harry grumbled.

“By better do you mean you? I must admit thought you two would finally end up together, I was surprised you and Camille lasted so long didn’t think you could stand to distance yourself from her.”

Harry knew she was right they had cut multiple trips short during there time together because Hattie had a big test or she was stressed or he just missed her.

“I heard my name.”

Camille kissed Harry on the cheek as she joined him and Kendall.  Him and Camille were on good terms even though at the end it had hurt but he always knew he was trying to make himself love someone, when that place had already been filed.

“H, why are you so sad you just killed SNL.”

“Capital is saying you’re going to be a Godfather, is that why you’re so sad missed because you missed your shot?”

Kendall exclaimed while looking through the twitter feed.

“Harry wouldn’t care about that. When is she due? I am surprised she didn’t tell you first? Wait is she still living with you?”

Camille fired question after question at him, Camille was lovely and intelligent but she was one of those people who never wanted her ex to move on almost like a power move. In her mind Harry would have never fancied Hattie as he should still be into her. Harry quickly downed his drink he had been trying to stop drinking to fill a void but he was currently failing.

“Styles tell us what’s going on? so we can cheer your miserable ass up and get the fuck out of here and celebrate.”

Harry looked around at all of his friends in the room they were all so Harry and here to congratulate him.

“It’s mine.”

“What’s yours H?”

Camille stroked his arm and glanced at Kendall waiting for her to answer, she normally understood Harry.

“Whats going on over here?”

Jeff joined the group kissing both the girls on the cheek before looking at his mates solomon expression. Harry grabbed another drink of a waiter and downed it. Kendall passed Jeff Harry’s phone.

“Harry mate slow down a bit. I will sort it have you called Hattie made sure she is ok?” Jeff tried to reason knowing that Harry wasn’t handling his transition into parenthood the best mainly due to the baby mumma issues. He also knew one of Harry’s rules was protect Hattie so even though this would blow over in the press it probably wouldn’t have made it there if she hadn’t been friends with Harry or caught with the future CEO of one of the most prestigious law firms in the Country.

“The baby its mine.”

“Wait what?” Camille laughed out not believing him.

“She’s nearly twelve weeks, I am going to be a dad.”

Jeff was busy texting someone probably to get the press under control about Hattie.

“So why is your girlfriend with a random guy at 6am?”

“We aren’t together she doesn’t want me. I screwed it up by ignoring her for other people. Her exact last text was basically said I only want her because I knocked her up.”

“Let’s just have fun H.” Camille gave him and kendall both a glass.

The rest of the night was a blur until he woke up the next morning to five missed calls from Gemma and two from Anne. He could barely open his eyes the hangover was that bad.

“Hey Mum, sorry I was out last night?”

“Harry you need to call Hattie. She is devastated they told her that the no longer required her at the firm. Said the press photo was not a good look for the company having a employee throwing up at 6am outside Starbucks. Apparently clients won’t take her seriously and she did sevre damage ”

“Wait what? Did she say she’s pregnant?”

“Gemma has tried to comfort her but she’s distraught. She did they already knew she thinks that’s why they did it. She said to Gemma is was a possibility.”

“I can’t come home mum I have the late late show and my interview with Apple.”

“Harry you need to do something? Honestly Gemma called me panicked as you weren’t answering Hattie tried to call you of Gemma phone apparently her pregnancy hormones caused her to throw hers at the floor the other day.”

“Mum I am going to go.”

Harry layed there trying to figure out what to say, he couldn’t get out of work these things had been booked for months. Maybe he could convince her to fly out here for a break I mean he was sure his record label could use a solicitor but knew she hates that bit of the law.

“Gemma pass me to Hattie” He cut of his sister hello he was in a rush.

“Hattie, I am so sorry baby. You’re amazing.”

He could hear her hiccuping back her tears this was her dream job she had been through shit to keep this job and now she had lost it thanks to him.

“I wo-r-ked sooo …. Hard Harry.”

She began sobbing again he knew how hard she’d worked.  She was a robot at uni trying to get a first and not settling for anything less.

“Hatters baby, come to LA.  I have to be here all week but we can figure stuff out ok. I promise I will make you feel better.”

“I can’t even get drunk to numb this pain.”

Harry chuckled a drunk Hattie was a scary sight .

“Get on a plane now I will pick you up myself we will get ice cream and cake or anything spud will stomach.”

“I can’t Aj said he could get me a interview at his dads, In the family law section it’s not perfect but it’s something. I was really helping people though H they took it away because of spud. I am not going to resent spud though it’s not his fault or hers. It’s his mummy’s for being a whore.”

“Hattie what the fuck? You are not a whore.”

“That’s what twitter is saying and the people at work said I get around.”

She began crying again and selfishly all he cared about was the fact that she would be working with Aj and that made his blood boil. He also still had the hangover from hell and was struggling to not vomit.

“When is this interview?” He calmly asked so to not upset her.

“Later today.”

“Ok after I will book a flight this evening. You need a little break we can spend the rest of the week together I only have to work today and tomorrow. I can selffishly get my best friend back and hopefully you will feel a bit better.”

“I think I like that, I am sorry for being a bitch recently it’s hormones and also I couldn’t hold in my feelings.”

“We can talk when you get here.”

Hattie was annoyed with herself for apologising she was still mad at him but she wanted him bad. She had the interview and Aj had helped her a lot they had offered her a job and she was so thankful for Aj. If not she would be a pregnant singleish mum with no money at least she lived with Harry so she wouldn’t be on the street. She was excited to start next week mainly because Emily had been distant with her recently so Aj was all she had friends wise who wasn’t somehow linked to Harry. She had packed light for LA not wanting to take a lot as the morning sickness had made her feel very weak. She was surprised that she was willingly seeing Harry but she needed to. They had never spent this long without constant communication she was also excited for him to hold her as she still couldn’t believe she had lost her job and managed to get a new one in a 24hour period I guess it goes to show how important it is to know the right people.

She spent the whole flight passed out in front of the toilet or with her head down it being sick. She was convinced this baby hated her.

Bump and Dumps Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: How is it going? Savannah: I'm so proud of you for working at this with her, I just wanted you to know that Jac: 😖 ugh, THANK YOU 🙏 Jac: I'm really trying Jac: and she's being a LOT better today Jac: more like herself Jac: she still hasn't said what's really going on, but maybe she isn't even sure herself, you know? 😕 Jac: we'll get to the bottom of it Jac: how are you, honey? ❤ Savannah: 🙌🏾 I'm BEYOND happy for you both 🙌🏾 Savannah: Ty is being more like himself too, today must be fated Savannah: it's such a relief, isn't it? Jac: I am BEYOND glad Jac: I do not know what was in the water but we can both finally breathe out so that's the main thing Savannah: I know right?! I feel more centred than I have in forever Jac: It's nice not to be so stressed Jac: I had no idea the tension I was holding, honestly Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: I had an idea but there's been no time to give you a massage, we're always working Jac: and I love it Jac: but other people still demanding time we don't have now is like Jac: 😬 Savannah: ^^ so true Savannah: I feel like I constantly have to choose between Sienna & Ty Jac: Right? There's always someone to be let down Savannah: excuse me whilst I essentially tear myself in half & still manage to somehow hurt either of you more in the process Jac: 😔 Jac: Ty should really learn a little more self-sufficiency in this situation Jac: like Amelia Jac: Sienna, that's different Jac: but you two are in a partnership, that's meant to make things easier, not harder Savannah: it's my own fault, I love him so much that I can't help but make everything easier for him even if it means things are harder for me as a direct result Jac: he's still meant to return the favour Savannah: & he does, he just doesn't always realise exactly what I do need, which is my fault too Jac: I can't see that Jac: you're beyond communicative Jac: and when you're not, that means there's a problem Savannah: Honesty is important but so is maintaining the image he has of me, I cultivated it, I can't just let it go when it's not as effortless as it looks Jac: but you, actually you, are perfect Jac: if he didn't love you for all of you, he'd be just Jac: wrong Savannah: No I'm not Jac: Not like you have no flaws or can do no wrong Jac: but you're so caring and loving and you'll do anything for anyone, especially the people you care about Jac: and even at your lowest, you still try to keep positive, and see the way out and forward Jac: and when you do make mistakes, it's because of all of these things about you that are so amazing Savannah: You're perfect, I don't even know what to say or what response would come close Jac: I'm far from it Jac: I do things sometimes, just to be cruel because I feel bad Jac: I try not to but I still do Jac: and I don't look after anyone the way you do Savannah: you look after me Savannah: & Isabelle & Amelia Savannah: we all take so much from you & you never complain because you're too busy giving us more of you Savannah: that makes me feel bad Jac: You shouldn't feel bad, you give me so much back too Jac: when you're already stretched Jac: and it doesn't feel anything like work with you Jac: it's natural, easy Jac: but still worthwhile Savannah: It's the same for me, with you, everything else may feel like a demand on my time or a stressful obligation, but that's not how I feel about you Jac: that makes me happy to hear that Jac: I swear, other people didn't used to feel like this much work Savannah: I don't know why it's so different Savannah: why you're the only person who sees through who I have to be to who I actually am Jac: It's like Jac: I feel a million miles or years or lives ahead of everyone else but you Jac: it's not even arrogance I just Jac: they don't get it Savannah: ^^^^ Savannah: it's exhausting Jac: trying to be on their level, care about what they care about Jac: when there's so much more important things to be thinking or doing Jac: I'm really struggling Savannah: what can I do? Jac: See? 🥺 Jac: this is why I love you Jac: I just wanna be with you again, then we'll both feel better and like this world actually makes sense Savannah: where has she even taken you? I'll come & get you right now Jac: we hung out most of the day and just chilled but we've gone out for dinner, [a place] Savannah: okay, I'll be there once the bill hits the table Savannah: come out when you're ready Jac: Okay, that's not an issue, we're near mine, ish, so I didn't need a lift from her dad or anything Savannah: I'll wait for you at home then Jac: That's so cute Jac: imagine how perfect our Uni flat will be Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I'll make a start on my moodboard Jac: we can do a dream shop when I get back Savannah: oh my god, we have to Savannah: but I promise I'll FINALLY give you that massage too, because I have no doubt your goodbye with Amelia will be stressful Jac: At least she can't ask for a sleepover reasonably when it's Monday tomorrow Jac: because yeah Jac: I cannot when a massage is on offer 😍👼🏾 Savannah: I can though, can't I? Savannah: I don't ever want to leave you, but especially not to go back to my house Jac: Of course you can Jac: we'll be sensible so we can still get up in the morning Savannah: 👼🏾 I swear Jac: I trust you Jac: I got a new night-time tea, it's really relaxing, you'll ❤ it Savannah: that sounds amazing, I've been having the most intense dreams when I do sleep Jac: at least your brain is processing everything and storing it away Jac: even if that's exhausting Jac: you'll be having sweet dreams so soon Jac: but in the meantime, I'll do everything I can to help Savannah: this is literally the evidence that you're as caring & loving & positive as you believe I am Savannah: I don't even dream when I'm with Ty, which I used to think was a nice thing, because I felt so safe but now it just feels like I switch off when he doesn't need me Jac: oh 😔 I don't love that Savannah: It sounds horrible, I know Savannah: & it would kill him to hear me say so Jac: No, it's not horrible, it's how you feel Savannah: he hasn't given me any reason to feel like that though, it's my crazy Jac: not on purpose, I'm sure Savannah: What have you noticed? You can tell me Jac: Well, even if doesn't ask you to prioritize him and his happiness at all times Jac: he still lets you Jac: I'm sure he doesn't realize but it still happens Savannah: oh Jac: like, I'm not having a go at him, or you, because you know you do it and you know why Jac: but he really SHOULD be thinking more about it, you Savannah: of course Jac: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything Savannah: I asked for your perspective because I need it, you have nothing to apologise for Savannah: & you're right Savannah: I just don't know what to do about it Jac: I don't want to sound like THAT friend Jac: he's great, in lots of ways Jac: but I couldn't say I hadn't noticed, when I had, it would be a disservice to you both Jac: it needs to be brought to his attention somehow, but outright saying it would probably feel...cruel? Savannah: I understand & I totally trust in the kind of friend I know you are Jac: ❤❤ Jac: We will work this out Jac: but we need time to 💭 on it Savannah: We need a time out from it first, the last thing I want to do is bring your stress levels back up after you've finally had a break through with Amelia Savannah: I refuse to be THAT friend Jac: we don't need to think about it any more tonight Jac: we can just think about our future and how amazing it will be Savannah: thank god I still have the ability to look forward without my future solely depending upon him Jac: ^^ no matter what, we're never those kind of girls Savannah: 👏🏾🙌🏾 Jac: I've text my parents so they won't be shook to see you Jac: not that they are these days 🥰 Savannah: I'll pick them something up to thank them as well when I get your presents for you Jac: Presents? for me? Savannah: 🥰 surprises, yes Jac: you're the best surprise Jac: I didn't think we'd get to see each other today Savannah: I wasn't sure if we'd even get chance to talk properly Jac: I know Jac: and I hate that Jac: I worry about you when we can't keep in touch Savannah: I hate the idea of you worrying about me, but I feel the exact same way Savannah: I dread to think how awful I'll have done on my homework because I couldn't stop thinking about you Jac: you're too smart to ever mess up too bad Jac: but we can doublecheck 😋 Savannah: what your compliments do for my self worth they don't do for my concentration span, so whilst the offer to check my work is appreciated, I'm not sure how well it'd be received Savannah: unless I'm sitting there with my eyes closed & you're in silence Jac: I think I can manage stunned silence in your presence quite easily Jac: we can make it work Savannah: you really do have an answer for everything, I love that about you Jac: it's easy to be sure with you Savannah: I wish we could be together all the time, there wouldn't be any room for doubt for me then either Jac: so rude of my parents to overdo it with the kids 🙄 Savannah: so rude of my parents to exist if they were going to use that existence to destroy everything they built, including my faith, trust & sense of security Savannah: if they were better people you could just stay here Jac: I don't know how it doesn't break their hearts Jac: and make them change and be better Jac: because I can't 😢 Savannah: they'd have to heal from the heartbreak they inflicted upon each other first & they have a lot of work to do before that'll happen Savannah: my mother doesn't have anything left for me & my dad doesn't have anything to offer that I want Jac: So true Jac: inherited trauma is the hardest Jac: and I don't have an answer for that, I really, really wish I did Savannah: you are an answer to that Savannah: you make me feel like I did before any of this happened Jac: I'm going to take care of you Jac: and the you that's still that little girl Savannah: we used to be so close, me & my dad Savannah: I don't understand how he could do this Jac: Even if he didn't love your mum anymore, in the way he did before Jac: the way he's handled it all Savannah: I would literally move heaven & earth to make things work with Ty, do anything to avoid hurting him, under no illusion that we're unlikely to be together forever Savannah: he can't have ever loved her, me or Sienna Jac: He must have thought it would have hurt MORE to stay Jac: I'm not saying he's right, or it excuses it Savannah: maybe it would Jac: I just really think he does love you guys Jac: and that doesn't have to change how you think or feel about him, at all, and that's not why I would say it Jac: the situation is still the same Jac: but it's rare the intentions are that bad, people do what they think is right, or they do the wrong thing out of hurt, like your mum right now Savannah: I know you want that for me, for me to be loved, I love you for it Jac: You are loved, by lots of people Jac: me being the chief one, of course Savannah: I'm trying so hard to remind myself that he isn't his mistakes but I can't forgive them when his actions make me feel like I am one of said mistakes Savannah: & my mum reinforces that every time she can't bear to look at me Jac: I can't begin to imagine how hurtful that is Jac: and how much that must occupy your head, and how hard you must have to fight every day to not be consumed by those thoughts and feelings Jac: all I can and will continue to do is be here for you, whenever and in whatever capacity you need Savannah: all my life she's told me how beautiful I am, but now all that matters is how much I resemble him Savannah: what am I supposed to do? Jac: You're still beautiful Jac: and you're always going to look like him Jac: do you want to change your appearance? Savannah: No, but I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror again without feeling as awful as I do when my mum tells me to get out of her room Jac: just because she's the victim in her narrative with your dad Jac: doesn't mean she's not also capable of perpetuating unhealthy behaviour Jac: that isn't okay, to make you feel like that Savannah: I know, but she's incapable of having a conversation about it right now, medicated or not Jac: Does your aunt have any more luck with her? Jac: or can you vent to your aunt about her? Savannah: I can but that doesn't mean I feel comfortable doing it Jac: That makes sense Jac: there's always the uncertainty of where the information will end up, or if any judgment is silently being passed Savannah: ^^ Savannah: you're the only person I want to talk to Jac: we can stay up and talk Jac: School can be completed with one eye shut Jac: this is more important right now Savannah: we have to talk about you too, it's always me Jac: Okay, I can always call upon all my problems at any time Savannah: for instance, where is Jude going to be when we're having this deep & meaningful conversation? Jac: Cammie is at her mum's, Jude can take her bed Jac: I'll take the heat if Cam is mad about it Savannah: okay Jac: I'll make them share full-time and then you can move in Jac: sorted Savannah: & when I move in, I'll take the puppies to bed with us & take the blame if your parents are upset Jac: they can't talk Jac: they give it all that about training and rules and boundaries Jac: but there was always a dog in the bed when we used to sneak in in the morning as kids Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I can't wait to have a family like yours Jac: How many kids do you want? Jac: or more importantly, puppies? 😋 Savannah: More than 👶🏾👶🏾 obviously Savannah: & they'll each have their own 🐶 or 🐱 or both however many of them there are Jac: Aww, that's sweet Jac: I think two can be kind of perfect Jac: but they have to be the right two Savannah: so is that how many you want? Jac: I don't think much about that part of my future Jac: I don't know if I'd be a good parent Savannah: Well you have to, because who else are my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 going to be best friends with? Isabelle's children? I don't think so Jac: 😂😂 okay, fair point Jac: we cannot have that Savannah: & of course you're going to be 🧚🏻 godmother to them all because I can't trust anyone else if anything ever happened to me Jac: 🥺🥺 Jac: I will spoil them so hard, I promise Savannah: nobody else would be able to tell them what I'm really like, nobody knows me like you do Jac: You'll make me cry Jac: I don't wanna think about you ever not being here Jac: but I'd make sure they knew how much you loved them, and how incredible you were so they love you as much, always Savannah: I'll be with you forever, even if I do die first, because I love you that much too Jac: [don't actually cry in front of Amelia omg] Jac: I love you so much as well Jac: and we're paying up Jac: so I won't be long now 🙌 Savannah: that is perfect timing because I just arrived at your house Savannah: there was such a long queue in the shop Jac: So rude Jac: people are EXTRA with the Christmas shopping from like mid-october now Jac: thank god we aren't working retail Savannah: ^^^^^^^ Savannah: & this boy in front of me keep trying to flirt, it was so embarrassing Savannah: I have a boyfriend & I'm having a breakdown, excuse me Jac: The lack of awareness so many boys have is ALARMING Savannah: I almost wish I had started crying as he started speaking, he wouldn't have known where to look Jac: That would be kind of iconic Jac: but not worth the mascara Savannah: next time maybe, if I've gone makeup free Jac: or you could bring out some of the sign language I teach you Jac: it's very useful for that Savannah: 😄 true Savannah: are you going to teach me some more when you come home? Jac: We totally can Savannah: I'd like to Jac: why is it that whatever we do together, it's just the best time Jac: I'm really excited to see you Savannah: I know what you mean, I feel like a different person from who I was earlier Savannah: my mood has lifted purely because you'll be here soon Jac: It's the same for me, completely Jac: I'm so glad we found each other Savannah: I think your face looks perfect by the way, in that picture & always Jac: 😌😌 you're way too kind Savannah: my good deed is the gifts I've brought, how flawless you are is just what I genuinely believe Jac: thank goodness the walk back will give me time to cool down my 😳 Savannah: Oh no! I'll have to bring it back Savannah: 🌷 🌺 🌸 Jac: is that a clue to my gifts? 🧐 Savannah: perhaps 😊 Jac: 🥰 Savannah: [sends her a pic of her snuggling all these dogs cos we've made ourselves at home hens but she'd never post it because she don't look perfect enough] Jac: Awwh! Jac: You're [insert dog's name here]'s favourite, you know Savannah: Oh my god, am I? She's my favourite too! Jac: Yep, fully endorse this lovestory Savannah: 🥰🤗 Savannah: Teen motherhood definitely wasn't part of my plan but for her, I'll make the necessary changes Jac: If anyone could actually work it, it would be you Savannah: I literally can't even joke about it because of the degree at which I'll be tempting fate & how vitally important it is to me that no 👶🏾 happen yet Jac: We won't speak that into existence 🤐 Jac: can you imagine Savannah: I can imagine exactly what my dad would say Jac: 🤐 need that about as much as you need the 👶🏾 Savannah: I refuse to put a single foot wrong for him to claim is a cry for his attention Jac: As if Jac: the ego, like, yes, I'm going to permanently change MY life so you pay me attention Savannah: I can't make it any clearer that I'm not interested, we haven't spoken since he left Jac: exactly Jac: he wants you to make mistakes so he can have a valid in and come back to berate you because he knows IF he wants to make that contact as things are now, it's HIM that will face the criticism, rightly so, but he doesn't want that Savannah: ^^^ Jac: and he's meant to be the grown-up Jac: 🙄 Savannah: at least, having not acted like one for a long time, I'm fully prepared for his behaviour instead of being shocked by it once I reach my own adulthood Jac: 🌥 Jac: the only one defined by his mistakes, will be him Jac: you're gonna be happy and thrive, none of this will stop you Savannah: of course, because I've got you 🌞💛 Jac: if anyone is sunshine, it's you Jac: I just gravitate towards you 🌻🌻 Savannah: I'm willing you into my orbit right now for sure, you must be freezing out there Jac: yes, it's pretty cold Jac: the fashionable coat is gonna have to be swapped for the more practical 😖😂 Savannah: my poor baby! I'll warm you up Jac: 😳😳 works too Jac: for now, whilst I fast walk because I can't run on this ice Savannah: Don't walk too fast! Savannah: even with all the experience Ty has given me, I can't attest to be some kind of physiotherapist Jac: I 🤞 Savannah: I'll stop talking to you until you're back safely 👼🏾 Jac: ❤❤❤

[sourcherrymagiks]

Carry on Countdown 2019

Day 9 - Pattern

Shepard

Penny comes in through the front door with a flurry of leaves. She dumps her bag and collapses onto the sofa.

“Fuck a nine toed troll Shep, whatever you’ve been cooking smells amazing.”

“Good day at the office dear?” I ask her in my best pretend housewife voice. She laughs at me and pulls her legs up onto the couch. I catch myself looking right up her skirt like some lust sick teenager. I’m almost certain she winks at me. Almost. If I was certain then now would be an ideal time to lean over and kiss her.

We don’t get that many ideal times. Between saving the world, uni, writing, goblins and housework there’s just not that much time. Also when there is time there is also Baz and Simon with their endless, constant displays of affection. It’s virtually impossible for me to believe that they were ever sworn enemies. They must have been rubbish at it.

Hell. I’m going to kiss her. What’s the worst that could happen? She could slap me I suppose. I could end up homeless and friendless in a foreign country illegally. Still fortune favours the brave.

“Penny” I start but then I realise she’s fallen asleep. I pull a blanket over her and take her glasses off and then go back to my notebook. There’s always tomorrow.

Penny

I wake up feeling weirdly warm and a bit squished. It’s nice warm, people warm, not warm enough to be Simon, too warm to be Baz. There’s only Shep left.

Shep would not have snuggled into me on the couch. I need to open my eyes and work out what the actual fuck is going on.

Shit. I didn’t sit down this way around. I’m definitely at the end of the couch where Shep was. My head is in his lap, I would be more concerned about this but I really like it. I don’t want this to get awkward and I do want this. I do. I just don’t want to be the one to start it. Maybe I don’t want to be in charge of this stuff anymore. I can admit when I’m just horrible at something. This relationship stuff is the something I am not good at.

Sheps voice disrupts my train of thought “Morning sleepyhead” then he strokes my hair so lightly I only just feel it.

“Hey, I seem to have sleep snuggled you. I would apologise but I’m not sorry, you’re very comfy”

“I think you should apologise for calling me comfy. I’m not a cushion” he wiggles his knees as he says it making my head bounce about.

I sit up grumbling and muttering. “No, come back, I found a movie about a mutant virus for us to watch, I think a lot of the earths population die and the smart girl saves the day” he’s reaching for the remote.

“OK, you got me. Will you just.... thats it, more that way” I pull and push him until he’s lying along the back of the couch, then I nestle into his arms. This is much better. I trace the demon marks on his arms with my fingers as the tv does its thing. I’m too caught up in Shep to pay much attention. I can feel his chest rising and falling against my back. I’m ready for what’s coming. Im also happy to stay right here. Shep does this to me, he makes me calm and excited. Relaxed and tense. Like I can wait and like I want everything now. I wriggle slightly further back so I’m flush against him. I slide my feet between his calves. The next move isn’t mine.

Shepard

It’s difficult to accept a reality where Penny Bunce is pressed up against me on the couch running her fingers over the patterns my arms. I’m pretty sure it’s real. She smells of chocolate and sage. Her hair is tickling my nose. I can feel her breath on my arm. Her gorgeous thighs are practically bare up against my jeans. I start messing with the hem of her skirt, brushing my fingers across the top of her legs as I do it. So far, so good. She hasn’t chopped my fingers off. She hasn’t moved away. It’s definitely not a platonic thing to be doing. I keep doing it. She backs into me a little more. I’m going to take that as encouragement.

I did expect that she would take over at this point. Penny normally likes to be the one in charge. I think I like this being up to me but it’s terrifying.

I close my eyes and kiss her cheek. Then I do it again. Then I do it again getting closer to her mouth. I need her to turn if this is going to work. I can’t reach her lips from the angle. She turns her head. I want to look at her, I want to take a moment but I need to kiss her. She surges against me when I do. Her mouth opens for me, she pushes against me shoulder to feet. She’s so soft.

This kiss though. I could do this forever. I tug a little at her bottom lip and she moans a tiny little moan into my mouth.

I pull her closer with the hand that’s splayed over her thigh.

That’s when the door opens and Simon tumbles in followed closely by Baz. They both stare for a second then start stammering and slink off into the kitchen. Fuck.

Penny

Nicks and slick they’ve got the worst timing ever. I suppose this is the downside to communal living.

“Shep, would you like to move this to my room?” It’s a bit forward but I worry that otherwise we’re going to lose this chance. I haven’t got the patience for that.

He nods at me.

As we walk towards my room I shout

“Basil, this is not an excuse for you to fuck on the couch”

“Not promising anything Penny” Simon shouts back.

That couch is going to need burning.