#I would love to write for these three but I'd have to rewrite this entire show to be... good!

[d-targaryenshoe]

Rather Or Rather Not - Luke Thompson

Word count: 868

Summary: Would you rather answer questions by yourself or to be joined by your lover and a friend?

The grand ballroom on the Bridgerton set was abuzz with excitement as a game hosted by Netflix began. 

You, Nicola Coughlan, and Luke Thompson, three of the most talented and beloved actors in the Bridgerton series, gathered around a lavish table adorned with candelabras and sparkling chandeliers. 

The theme of the game was Would you rather, inspired by your beloved show, Bridgerton. 

The air was thick with anticipation as you waited for the first question to be revealed.

"It's time to play!" cheered Nicola Coughlan, who portrayed Penelope Featherington, as she flitted about the room, handing out cards to each of the players.

 "Remember, you must answer the question truthfully, and may the best actor win!" With a dramatic flourish, she flipped over the first card, revealing the first question: "Would you rather... binge-watch the entire series in one sitting, or have to wait an entire year for the next season to premiere?"

You all glanced at each other, knowing full well that this was a question you had been contemplating for months.

 You, who portrayed the vivacious y/c/n, grinned widely and said, "Oh, I could never wait a whole year! I'd much rather binge it all in one go." 

Nicola Coughlan, who brought the iconic Penelope Featherington to life, nodded in agreement.

 "I completely understand," she said with a sigh. "It's torture not knowing what happens next."

Luke Thompson, your boyfriend and the man who played the dashing and mysterious Lord Benedict Bridgerton, chuckled and said, "Well, it seems you two have already made up your minds. In that case, I'll have to go with the opposite choice. I'd much rather take my time and savor each episode as they air." 

You and Nicola laughed, impressed by his restraint.

The next question was revealed: by you.

 "Would you rather... have your character end up with your on-screen love interest, or have them find true love with someone else?" you bit your lip, considering the possibilities. 

"Oh, that's a tough one... I think I'd want my character to end up with their true love. Even if it means someone else gets the happy ending, you know?" 

Nicola Coughlan nodded in agreement.

 "Agreed," she said. "As much as I love my character with Colin, I think it would be more satisfying to see her find happiness with someone who truly deserves it if the story would be different."

The tension in the room was palpable as the final question was revealed by your boyfriend. 

"Would you rather... have your character's life play out exactly as it does in the books, or have the opportunity to rewrite their fate and give them a different ending?" Luke furrowed his brow, deep in thought.

 "That's a hard one... I think I'd like to see my character have the chance to write their own ending. Even if it means straying from the source material, it's important for them to have agency and make their own choices."

Nicola Coughlan glanced over at you, who was still lost in thought. "What about you, y/n? What would you choose?" 

You looked up, a determined expression on your face. "You know, I think I'd rather rewrite their fate. Because even if their life isn't perfect, they can still find happiness in the end. And who's to say what's meant to be, anyway?" 

The other actors nodded in agreement, feeling the weight of the question settle over them.

The final question hung in the air, unanswered, but for now, it could wait. There would be plenty of time for more questions, more laughter, and more memories to be made.

 Because in the end, that was what being a part of the Bridgerton family was truly about: finding joy in the journey, no matter where it led.

The question was revealed: "Would you rather... spend the rest of your life in the world of Bridgerton, or step outside of it and explore new roles and experiences?" 

Nicola's eyes widened, and she glanced around the table at her fellow actors. 

"That's quite the quandary," she mused. "But I think I would have to say that I would rather stay in Bridgerton. Not only because I love it here, but because I believe that we are one family and that there is so much out there waiting to be told."

You nodded in agreement. "I feel the same way, definitely. This role has given me so much, and I think there are so much possibilities in this project. I can't wait to see what it still holds." 

Luke, ever the optimist, added, "I'd have to say the same. And I know that whatever comes next, we'll always have Bridgerton and each other." 

You all raised your glasses in a toast, the clinking of crystal against porcelain filling the empty ballroom with a joyous noise.

And so the game went on, the questions flying fast and furious, as you all shared your thoughts, your dreams, and your fears. 

You discussed your favorite moments from the series, your hopes for the future, and the lessons you learned along the way.

You laughed and you cried, you debated and you agreed, and through it all, you all felt a bond that went deeper than any script could ever convey.

[pinehutch]

When I say that I want to be evil

what I mean is I want to be powerful. What I mean is I want to be free.

Some weeks ago I spent more money than I should have on my first ever (ever!) two-piece swimsuit. You have to understand that as a child I was told I was fat, and as a teen I was told I was fat, and as an adult I've always been fat*, and you can't read your way out of the shame caused not strictly by the word but by its connotations.

(I know, because I've tried. I have been trying for almost twenty years. Looking for plus-sized fashion brought me to the digital 'fatosphere.' It made me a better person as I learned about another dimension of intersectionality and about power and oppression. It made me feel like I could wear clothing that I liked. It made me more informed about the diet and wellness industry. It's been over 20 years since I first read a critique of the BMI; it's been almost as long since I started wondering why gros/se in my close-second language didn't have the same (haha) weight to it as fat does, in my first.)

At the tail end of June, days long and scorching, I stepped into a two-piece swimsuit with a deep-v neckline and my whole midsection exposed and I spent the day in full view of dozens (hundreds?) of strangers. Cold, cold water on the joints; warm, soft pools for the evening. My hair got bigger and bigger. My neck and chest sunburned. My midriff stayed comically, blindingly pale, and everything else? It was lovely; it was fine. I rarely thought about my body, unless it was 'this feels nice' or 'my swimsuit is so pretty.' I took a selfie, even, though I deleted it. I was worried that posting it would count as thirst-trapping; shame has cored out and replaced so much of me. It was a good pic, though, and I wish I'd kept it.

What was true of me that day: I was a quite tall, very fat femme person whose feet swell with arthritis and whose hair takes up the entire frame and who's had cellulite since grade eight. What else was true: many people complimented my swimsuit. I looked out across the valleys and the mountains from the top of my almost-six-feet. I let my shoulders roll back and smiled at the sight of my bare skin gone blue-wavering-dappled beneath the surface. I stood tall. I made eye contact. I enjoyed delightful company, and let that enjoyment extend to the simple pleasure of having a body that felt fairly good, in garments I had chosen for the joy of it.

You can't read your way out of shame; it's only part of the equation. I didn't go swimming the next day with my family members, because I didn't want to feel them looking at my body and being disappointed that What A Beautiful Girl turned out like I did (though: if What A Beautiful Girl then why You Need To Watch What You Eat?). But for an entire day I felt like anyone else, gentle enough, good enough, in my skin.

It would have been good for me to swim with my family that weekend, because I'm finding that - as in all things - the practice is important. You can't read your way out of shame, not entirely, but in working with and through it there's maybe a chance to rewrite our stories.

There's a fallacy that I think a lot of us fall into, when we're trying to counter and challenge fatphobia, both culturally and in ourselves. It's the fallacy of the Good Fat. It's why I want to tell you about how two-pieces are maybe a better swimwear choice for me because of the drastic difference between my tits and hips vs my waist. It's why I wanted to post that selfie, so people could shoutycaps and fire emoji me on twitter. It's why I want to craft this post into a narrative where spending a single day mostly-unburdened by body shame has led to a hot girl summer, and I'm walking for miles every day and going to the pool four times a week. (I'm not. I still have a day job, and writing to do, and a physical disability, and the ol' depression. I'm more active than I was three months ago, and working to improve that, but still. It's not a lot.)

It is, simply, the same lie as we tell ourselves along so many different axes of marginalization: that as long as we are exceptional in a way equal and opposite to our marginalization, we'll be fine. It's the model that says you earn the right to exist fat and unashamed by being healthy, by being active, by being hot. Sorry my hip is squished against yours on the airplane; at least I've got a nice face and good hair and am well-dressed, wanna admire my hip-to-waist ratio about it?

There's no such thing as a Good Fat because we live in an inherently fatphobic world. I mean: airplane seats are too small for anyone average sized. I mean: 20 years ago I was a size 16/18 and couldn't fit into the newer lecture hall seats at my university without a lot of stress and embarrassment. I mean: I can't buy a compression sleeve for my arthritic joints at the drug store. If I ever needed to take Plan B, it might not work because I weigh (as do most adults of my acquaintance) more than 165lbs. You cannot be hot enough or active enough or well-dressed enough to escape from this; the only option is to be Not Fat.

But why on earth would we want to accept this? We know the system is fucked up and evil, and so: we want to be evil. Just a little bit, just enough. We want to be hot villains. We want to serve cunt and to be cunts. We want to nailcare emoji, fire emoji, crown emoji, and we want to take no prisoners unless it's between our thick thick thighs. Sit on their face; if they die, they die. It's fun and sexy, in a world where "everything is sex, except sex, which is power" to dig in and grab handfuls of what looks like empowerment, fuck the rest of it, get what makes you feel best.

It's a mirage; freedom doesn't live there.

Because of course fat people are hot. Fat bodies are desirable. Fat bodies are strong, sometimes, and athletic, sometimes, and powerful in whatever way you'd like to read that. That's true no matter what.

And yet (this will hurt) fat bodies are still (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry) not good enough. If the system is the problem, your individual empowerment is not the (whole) solution.

When I say that I want to be evil, what I mean is I want to be free. I want the strange rare days I've known I was desirable because I was desired, specifically and individually. I want the days where I grant myself dignity. I want the day where I lived peacefully in my mostly-naked body around hundreds of strangers, and went to bed happy.

Reading is input, it's taking in. I can't read my way all the way out of fatphobia, out of body shame because that's like trying to put out a forest fire 2000km away by throwing baking soda on your stove element. (Not harmful, but insufficient and misdirected.) It has been so helpful to know that other people wrestle with all of this, in ways that are more intelligent and expert than mine; it doesn't change material reality, though.

It's not the shame that's the problem, but where it comes from. It's not my internalized fatphobia or low self-worth or lack of body confidence that keeps people from life-saving medical care because their doctors were obsessed with their weight instead of their symptoms. My soft abdomen has never shamed a stranger on the internet, my calves (never in tall boots) haven't forced someone to buy a second seat.

Maybe it's time that I redefine what I mean when I say I want to be evil. I want to be a hot villain that was justified in their takedown of the status quo. I want to put a crown on every head. I want these thick thighs under me as I pull you into my lap and love you, and to use those fire emojis to make room for new growth.

I want us all at the pool together, celebrating as the sun sets.

*I'm using "fat" to here mean something like "size 16 US women's or larger," but there's no good definition

[theunholybastard]

Hi! This is my first time sending a request for anything 😅 but I was wondering if you could maybe write about the era 5 ghouls/ghoulettes comforting the reader while they're on their period? Basically, it's just comfort/fluff. My favorite is Phantom and I feel like he'd be such a sweetheart 🥹

Hi, lovely! 👋 I'd be honored to take your first request! I didn't know how exactly you wanted me to write it, so I just went with some little headcanon blurbs. Lmk if you want me to rewrite a drabble/full length fic of any specific character/s and I'll get to that when I have the time. <3 Enjoy!

Era 5 Ghouls/Ghoulettes Period Comfort Headcanons

(CW - Brief mentions of period sex/blood kink for Swiss and Sodo/Dewdrop)

Phantom:

He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.

His knowledge on the human body, especially the female anatomy, is limited, so he's not entirely sure how to help you. He is however, a great listener, and is always willing to do whatever you ask of him to make you feel better, no hesitation.

Building off of him being a great listener, he's also more than down to just listen to you complain. Whatever you choose to talk about, period-related or not, he is sat, intently listening to every word.

He's a very curious ghoul - he wants to hear about your feelings, he wants to know what's making you feel the way you feel, and how to make it better.

Food is his love-language. Always ready to pick up whatever food you're craving at the moment, at any time. Wake him up at 2 A.M and say you want ice cream? He's immediately out the door to get ice cream. (and picking up some cookie dough for himself, too.)

Three words: Food, Movies, Cuddles. Snacking with you, bodies intertwined, while watching your favorite movies, is his own personal Heaven. (ok maybe Heaven isn't the right word but ykwim)

He's a messy eater, so make sure not to let him eat in your bed. Other than that, you're in good hands.

Rain:

If you like physical affection, you're in luck, because Rain is the unofficial King of Cuddles™️

Babies you, but not in the belittling way.

Yes, he knows you can get out of bed and do things yourself, but why would you so much as lift a finger when you have him to pamper you?

Sings to you and plays guitar for you

If you're ever feeling self-conscious during this time, he will do anything and everything in his power to make you feel beautiful

Compliments you any chance he can get, brushes your hair for you, has skincare nights with you (loves floral-scented face masks and those cucumber eye masks)

He makes sure you are very well taken care of

Mountain:

Also babies you, but unlike Rain, it does feel a little belittling. He means well, though.

Freaks out over you just getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Insists he carries you because you're "too weak and fragile to do anything in this state."

You're pretty much bedridden for a week, sorry.

Prepares healthy meals for you, loves hearing you compliment his cooking.

Insists that nature is the best medicine. Opens the windows to get you some fresh air. Will gladly go on walks with you if you manage to convince him you're fine and perfectly capable of movement.

Picks you fresh flowers

Plays with your hair to help you fall asleep

Sodo/Dewdrop:

Also doesn't really know how to help you.

Just kinda treats you like normal, unless youre having pains

Offers you painkillers, but if you'd rather not take medicine, he'll rub your stomach, your back, whatever area is bothering you.

Lucky for you, he's got the body temp of a furnace. He's your own personal heating pad.

Also suggests orgasms help reduce cramping. Doesn't push it, but he makes sure you know he doesn't mind parting the red sea

Swiss:

Oh Lord. This man. Is so horny.

Obviously he doesn't press if sex isn't something you're interested in during this time. He'll find other ways to comfort you. Though sex is his favorite way to do it.

LOVES giving massages. He'll lay down one of those hydrophobic blankets so you can free bleed while he gives you a full-body massage he might get hard

Very touchy. Cannot keep his hands off you. Constant cuddling.

Builds you a little nest of pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, anything soft and comforting to you that he can find. You basically live in a blanket fort for like a week.

You can talk to him about anything period-related. Don't bother sparing the gruesome details, TMI does not exist with him. Nothing you could say would shock him.

Cirrus:

Princess treatment, 24/7.

Fawns over you when you're having cramps, not leaving your side until you feel better.

Tells you silly stories or gossip to distract you from your cramps. Anything to get a smile out of you. Shes the ultimate yapper gf (except for maybe Aurora)

Self care nights! Bubble baths, painting each others nails, doing each others makeup, braiding each others hair (or you could just braid hers if your hair is too short)

Whispers words of affirmation in your ear as you sleep in hopes it will make you subconsciously feel better

Cumulus:

Tells you she will personally fight God for giving you a period. Mainly just to make you laugh. But she would if she could.

If Rain is the Cuddle King, then consider her the Cuddle Queen™️

So soft. So comfy. You are in for some GODLY naps.

Cooks for you and insists on feeding you herself (she's been tempted to go "here comes the airplaaane!" but she doesn't want to risk pissing you off)

Cleans up your space for you so a dirty environment doesn't cause you additional stress. Will scold you like a disappointed mother if you try to take over the work.

Sings you to sleep

Makes sure you have a comfy place to relax and a nice full belly at all times

Aurora:

Shes really not as helpful as she thinks she is, but she tries.

Shes a very energetic ghoulette, so if your idea of comfort during this time is doing as little physical activity as possible, she's gonna be a bit out of her element.

Offers to go on a run together, swearing it's the best distraction for if you have cramps.

But if you'd rather stay in bed, she will oblige. She does love cuddles. Shes very touchy.

She uses your period as an excuse to buy a shit load of candy. She ends up getting a stomach ache because she ate most of it and now you have to comfort her. At least she's cute though

Gets excited if your cycles are synced up because that means you two can free-bleed together

Brings home little trinkets for you like a crow

-

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight July 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family and a little info about them!

GIF by akaribaby

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

RainyThursdayNight

Tumblr handle: @rainythursdaynight

AO3: miss_bored_tf_outta_her_mind

What is your SPN OTP? Dean/Castiel

Are you in any other fandoms? The Umbrella Academy, She-Ra, Attack on Titan, The Legend of Korra, Avatar the Last Airbender, The Owl House, MCU, Harry Potter, Detroit Become Human, The Walking Dead (Telltale), etc.

What are you looking for in the Pond? A place to write alongside others/learn from other SPN writers/jump into writing for SPN with other authors and readers from the fandom!

What types/pairings do you like to read? Dean/Castiel, Castiel/Meg, Sam/Eileen, Dean/Jo, Sam/Jessica, Sam/Rowena/Gabriel, Claire/Kaia

What genres do you like to read? What are your favorite tropes Hurt/Comfort. Angst with a happy ending, Pre-series/Stanford Era, Solo Hunters Dean and Cas, Found Family, Wrong Number AUs, Time Travel AUs

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Introspective Character Studies with plot, Time-Travel, Found Family, Crossovers, Secret Agent AUs, Media Inspired AUs, literally almost anything tbh

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Writing for Supernatural is completely new to me. I was part of a large-scale rewrite a while ago so I've rewritten episodes of the show but never really a fic, so having you guys be exposed to my writing first before I post it would be really nice. Having people who've read similar stories reading mine before I give it to the general public is the goal!

AylaCaveBear

What is your Tumblr name? @aylacavebear

What is your SPN OTP? Sam and Eileen, or Sam and Jessica

Are you in any other fandoms? Dabbles in Vampire Diaries

What are you looking for in the Pond? Interacting with others who share the same interests, i.e. Others who enjoy SPN fanfics, reading and/or writing. Learning more about navigating Tumblr better and enhancing my writing, as well as helping others if I can.

BOOST: Honestly, I'd like to promote my sister. She made something for me to promote my tumblr on youtube. (I'm not looking for subscribers or views. She's just amazing at what she does and thought there might be other users who might be interested in what she offers.)

What type/pairings do you like to read? Reader Inserts mostly, A/B/O dynamics, Dean x Reader/You and even some Sam x Reader/You.

What genres/tropes do you like to read? All of them honestly. I have to say though, Smut with Fluff and Angst are my absolute favorites. I also love a good plot twist.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? I can't say I have one favorite. There are so many amazing authors on there. @holylulusworld has some amazing A/B/O fics, as well as many others. I've sort of been binge-reading them at the time of answering these, lol.

What kinds of fics do you like to write? I love to write fics that are Dean x Reader/You. The "reader" is typically also an OC and they typically have some bizarre 1-in-a-million trait. I love writing series with lots of parts and typically have a slow burn filled with fluff, angst, and all sorts of fun little things.

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I have three, lol - A/B/O, Choose Your Own Adventure (already have a plan in mind), Cas x Reader (as per a request on a one-shot I wrote asking for more and I'd love to write it).I'm not entire sure about help with any of these, as I have others I need to finish before I can even start on these.

TheCatSaysMew

What is your Tumblr name? @thecatsaysmew

What are you looking for in the Pond? I've been writing Supernatural fics for over a decade, but it has been mainly for myself so I don't publicly publish them. I absolutely love writing fics and doing character studies, and I really like reading them on Tumblr too. I was hoping to connect with the community, make some friends, get inspired to write more and also inspire others.

What pairings/type do you like to read? I'm a reader-insert girlie through and through. I usually go for the Dean x Reader fics!

What genres/tropes do you like to read? Angst. I sometimes read smut, but I find angst far more delicious than smut!

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? All my fic reading is mainly done on Tumblr. I feel like I've read every Dean x Reader fic on the platform, so I'm always excited when new ones pop up. I love reading stuff from @avanatural, @mind-empty-just-fictional-people and @wearywinchester among many others!

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Reader/Self-insert, angst, mixed in with a little soulmate trope

I don't have a masterlist as I don't usually post stuff publicly, but I did rewrite a theme from my current longfic to take part in a writing challenge.

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? A casefic. I actually want to incorporate it in the final part of my longfic, and I really want to get the early seasons aesthetic on point. It's so difficult to verbally describe something that we're so used to seeing visually: the gloomy shots, the dingy motels, the impala parked in front of a small town home in the rain, etc. It would be lovely to discuss on how to best write visual / cinematographic descriptions like that! Also, I'm not very good at detective-style writing, so I'm finding it quite the challenge to write a 'solve a case and defeat the monster of the week' fic.

CrowleysMistress

Crowleysmistress (ao3 not on tumblr)

Discord: Sacha04534

What is your SPN OTP? Sam/Lucifer (I mean not like shipping them but it’s all I write even if in a non-con way)

What are you looking for in the Pond? Other SPN fans - particularly angsty Sam ones

BOOST: I have a a witchcraft podcast called The Brujas Broadcast

Fic types, tropes, pairings, genres: I skip slow burn, super long ones, all reader insert, most OC, all crossover. (I like) Angst for sure, AU, adventure, smut and fluff some days depending on mood.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? So my (AO3) history says I like ultimatefandomtrash, angelszn,

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Sam/Lucifer

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? A long multi chapter piece. I feel like I need to have it all done and ready to post together and not be working on something and just post pieces of it.

xPurdyGlambertx

Tumblr: @xpurdyglambertx (on all socials), including Discord and Wattpad

What is your SPN OTP? Too many - multishipper

Are you in any other fandoms? TWD, Stranger Things... those are the big ones

Pairings, genres, tropes, fic types: Ships and poly both, Mostly smut and angst

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Smut and angst, mostly oneshots but I'll pump out a multichaper fic every now and then!

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

LucasBarr

Tumblr: @lucasbarr

AO3: Ophelia_Yvette

What is your SPN OTP? Dean/Cassie or Dean/Benny

Are you in any other fandoms? Mermaid Melody and Harry Potter!

What are you looking for in the Pond? fellow writers! People to talk about fic with and to help with fic writing (bc spelling is my nemesis lol)

Pairings, tropes, genres, fic types: Dean pairings for sure 😂 I am a multi shipper at heart tho so I enjoy a lot of pairings (besides like reader inserts). Found Family, Angst, Fluff, AU

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? Basically any spn fic writer who writes about his Amazon daughter Emma or any of the female characters of SPN 😂

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Ones about the kids of SPN like Jody’s girls, Kaia, the Freaks and Greeks gang, Ben, and Dean’s Amazon daughter Emma 😂

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I want to get better at writing Sam and generally capturing the atmosphere of the early seasons in a fic (if that makes sense?)

Meryl1988

Tumblr: @meryl1988

AO3: Meryl1956

What is your SPN OTP? Well: I'm going to be honest here. You may feel free to kick me out Castiel/Dean. Sam/Dean. Love both equally.

Are you in any other fandoms? Starting 911

What are you looking for in the Pond? I am in complete awe of the wonderful writers of son fiction. If I can provide any support or good for thought, I would feel honored.

Pairings, genres, tropes, types of fic: Castiel/Dean. Sam/Dean. Castiel/Dean/Sam. Dean/Benny. Sam/Jessica. even though I am a total m/m reader. I love fics where she's alive and posseses a good personality. Every single one. I love stripper tropes, enemies to lovers, any AU with my boys. Hooker fiction. Poor/Privileged pairings. I also love Omega verse and Mpreg. Also RPF

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? This HARD! There are many but I will list a few @Felisblanco @Justinedelarge @friendofcarlotta On A03 Dollyluxe Nyxocity. Tumblr Flesflutter. Tumblr Hellhoundsprey Morgan Sunglasses Spn_kinksock Lukinha_jesus Compo67 taymarpigeon Applecrumbledore Ashtraytheif Castielslostwings Castiel_left_his_mark_on_me Amypond45 Rivkat Boydean Komodobits Naughtypastrychef Lovethemwinchesters Abs_cats Smackthedevil Chaotictrinity Anyrei. Queerwolf. Co authors Dmarie92

Sardonic-The-Writer

Tumblr: @sardonic-the-writer (and on AO3)

What is your SPN OTP? destiel, but i'm extremely partial to sabriel and crowstiel

Are you in any other fandoms? mainly spn right now, but i also love the umbrella academy and the gorillaz

What are you looking for in the Pond? mostly just to insert myself into the spn fandom space more, as well as find a safe space to share fanfics and stuff

Pairings, genres, types of fic, tropes: mostly reader inserts, but a solid ship fic of literally anyone is also good. pretty much anything genre wise, as long as i have a fun read. some of my favorite tropes would have to be friends to lovers, or just straight up a reader inserts where there's no romance and just them working a case alongside the guys. it appeals to me as an aroace guys

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? unsure, but i really enjoy gabriellives, The_White_Rabbit_42, and relic_amaranth's works all over on ao3

What kinds of fics do you like to write? reader inserts! mostly platonic, but i try romance sometimes. i also write a lot about my spn sona ezra (azrael) but that's mostly for me and the few people that know about him

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? i haven't written a ton of ship content before, but i know that if i want to i will!

Codepend

Tumblr: @codepend

AO3: theknife

What is your SPN OTP? sam & dean

Are you in any other fandoms? good omens, hannibal

What are you looking for in the Pond? share my fanfics and make friends!

Pairings, genres, fic types, tropes: ships, angst, fluff, pining, unrequited

What kinds of fics do you like to write? one shots although I am working on larger projects

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I find multi-chapter fics more overwhelming

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat @mrswhozeewhatsis @mariekoukie6661 @thoughtslikeaminefield and @heavenssexiestangel

[somegirlontheinternet135]

With Diabolik Lovers content still being made, I'm surprised no one; and I mean NO ONE has dappled into rewrite!

For those who don't know, earlier this year, I've fallen down the neverending hellhole that was Diabolik Lovers and MY GOD WAS IT AWFUL!! The writing, the character designs, the characters themselves! It was edgy, thirst bait for the generation at the time(2012)

I say with confidence that if you wanted to torture someone, you'd have them watch this series. . . It'd hurt even more when you realize the previous versions of the story were actually good. .

The more I fell, the worse it got. . . Thus Diabolik Lovers: The Glass Labyrinth was born!��� A Diabolik Lovers Future/Rewrite AU where Yui learns to become a witch & slowly comes to terms with her trauma!

Part 1

Part 2

I go into more detail in these posts but the story focuses on Yui, roughly 5 years after the events of season 2; having just escaped the Sakamaki & Mukami brothers with the help of The Painter Witch, Niji Shikisou. Taking her to her new home, The Kame Isles, a living mass of islands housing the world's biggest coven!

I've made this post announce three things:

1. Rather than doing rewrites for the Sakamaki and Mukami brothers, I decided to take a step further & instead do full overhauls, essentially making new ocs from the rewrites as a whole. The reasons I'm doing this is because I'd be struggling with them in terms of redesigns, I had a lot of ideas for redesigns but the ideas always fell flat.

What I'm trying to say is that their og designs were far too constricting, and I felt working with a blank slate could help. Not to mention, it opens to many new possibilities when I design them! To cut things short, overhaul ocs will be taking the places of the Sakamaki and Mukami brothers; with Rewrite!Yui being the only exception since I love her🥰🩷

2. Every time I've talked about my rewrite, I've had a lot of support for the fandom, which I appreciate; I love how we can all agree that the show is terrible & needs to be fixed, but I've had people tell me that they've seen other people rewriting, and that I say

"WHERE!?"

"WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!? WHERE ARE THEY HIDING!?"

Listen, I loved hearing that people were rewriting the show, I think it's amazing & people should do it; but I have not seen a single rewrite of the show other than my own. And so PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DIABOLIK LOVERS REWRITES TwT🙏 I would love to hear about them; so don't be afraid to share!

3. Since I'm starting my research for overhaul ocs + other ocs, if you have any ideas, questions, or suggestions for Diabolik Lovers: The Glass Labyrinth🦋✨, don't be afraid to ask/share! I'm writing this story entirely on my own, so any sort of help counts!

But anywho, that's all I've got for now. Sorry I haven't been active as from recently, I'm quite busy with life at that moment & I hope to get some things done during my last few days of break.

Be on the lookout for my other projects. . .

And as always stay tuned^^✨

[tleeaves]

Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine - how it would have ended

Hello, folks! As some of you already know or have heard me mention previously, my TLH fanfic WBITHOM is coming to an end. I am no longer comfortable with it being in the public eye since it involves a lot of personal stuff for me, and so I have decided to delete the fic entirely on every platform it's been published on (that's Quotev, AO3, and Wattpad) rather than rewrite the entire thing. This will also finally give me the chance to focus on other written works. Maybe I'll return to fandom with a rewrite one day for anyone interested, but for now, the future is dedicated to other things. The fic will be deleted in 48 hours, so readers on Quotev and AO3 have a chance to download the unfinished fic if they so desire before then or just have one last read. I ask that no one rewrites or adds an ending to my fic and publishes it anywhere without my knowledge and permission. Never put an author's work through AI either. I still have several copies of my fanfic and its outline, so I will always have evidence of where the story comes from.

WBITHOM is a monster, with the master document coming to well over 150,000 words and the fic so far being ~146,000 words (the entire outline and all my notes makes up over 4,000 words, yes). I predict that, had I finished the fic, it would come close to 188,000 words (so, there was a decent ways to go still). It's the biggest thing I've attempted, but because of that, it is also the most time-consuming (it's been almost a year and a half of writing, and each chapter either takes two full days to write or weeks) and it takes up the most space in my head, not really leaving room for the other ideas I want to explore.

So, as someone suggested, I thought I'd give readers who were hoping to see the fic to its proper end some closure. That's what this post is for: how it would have ended. Along the way, I'll explain some things too about recurring themes and motifs and all manner of behind the scenes and thoughts behind my ideas.

Character Arc Summaries

As readers know, this story follows the characters of Lila Raftis, James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs, and Matthew Fairchild. They're all the most significant figures, though we do see other perspectives and side characters too. Essentially, Lila Raftis struggles with loneliness due to a myriad of other issues she has to work through, and James Herondale's arc starts with his depression and turns into a journey to authenticity where he feels like his own person and not just what he has been written or expected to be. Cordelia Carstairs' physical state of being lost extends to how lost she is within, and she ends realising that she has been continuously defining herself through other people. I see her as leaving London and the love triangle with James and (unconfessed) Matthew (and Lila) to deconstruct a lot of the ideals she was trying to live up to and why. As for Matthew Fairchild, I made the deliberate decision for him to turn into a werewolf and have that separation from Shadowhunter society so that he could pursue the arts and build a better life that he would find more satisfaction with, also eventually becoming sober. I took inspiration from his time at the academy, particularly when he turns to Lila in one of the earlier acts and asks if it's so bad to not be a Shadowhunter. At first, he regrets turning, but I planned for him to wind up relieved.

Honestly, while this work is very self-insert (and that's not a bad thing generally, but I've been finding it uncomfortable as time goes on, so that's why I prefer to take it down and keep it to myself), it was also my way of going How It Should Have Ended for the TLH series as a whole. I started it before ChoT, yes, but that book only led to minor changes and alternate paths taken -- I was already using ChoI as a base to steer these characters in the directions I thought they should go.

The Rest Of Act Three

The rest of Act Three of the fanfic is summarised below (...at length. It's a lengthy summary).

We ended the fanfic on the chapter where James and Lila returned to London, 1903 of his dimension. He was gravely wounded in his left arm, which ends up being amputated despite the efforts of Lila and Lucie (and Gus' help too). This is, of course, a reference to the recent fan art of James where a headcanon went around that the reason we couldn't see his other arm was because it just didn't exist. I took it and ran, which was not planned. I knew I wanted James injured so that Lila could return the care he once had shown her when she was wounded badly, but it wasn't going to be as severe as it ended up being. This is how we ended up at the Institute instead of 48 Curzon Street as I had previously planned for the chapter. James was going to be fine, but Cordelia had decided to confront Lila about several things, and they'd end the night having kissed -- which in turn leads Lila to going for a walk to clear her head and her subsequently getting kidnapped by Jonathan Bell (the Other James from another dimension). Anyway, the change did make some of these plot points awkward (😭) hence why I spent ages editing the make out between Lila and Cordelia because I could not decide how it should start and end. It was a nightmare. As Silver pointed out, it didn't make a whole lot of sense in the order of events (Cordelia should have gone to see James first), but I was in a mad rush to finally release the update since I knew people were waiting. The kidnapping also was not quite as dramatic as I envisioned it, but oh well. I'm actually quite happy with the rest of the chapter though.

From there comes the rest of the fic that readers probably will not get to experience, so that's why I'm writing this out, so you at least know the mysteries that I won't get to reveal and how we get to the end.

Jonathan Bell kidnaps Lila and, through the use of shadow, they end up in Paris, France. This is where Matthew also fled after his mother released him from the Silent City cells after he persuaded her into it. Lila ending up there and being away from both James and Cordelia, and spending more one-on-one time with our antagonist and Matthew since the earlier parts of the book was always intended.

Jonathan is revealed to have possession of another silver pen, which is a reference to a previous fanfic I wrote (also deleted) called Chain of Lies, where the pen could literally rewrite reality if you used your own blood for ink. In Jonathan's dimension, Lila ended up staying in his world and marrying him, but she also dies of a mysterious sickness during their honeymoon, so he uses the pen to go back in time and cancel their honeymoon, under the impression she would not get sick. Instead, she was hit by a car several days earlier, and died in the accident. Jonathan goes back again to stop that from happening, but Lila ends up dying again anyway, over and over again in different ways, every time Jonathan reverses time to prevent each event from occurring. Eventually, he goes so far back in their timeline together that he's reliving the December when they met, and that's how he knows how to divert the accidents in WBITHOM that threaten harm to this other dimension's Lila (are you still with me?). But before that, he created a time loop in that December of his dimension just trying to keep Lila alive for two years of his life whereas everyone else remained the same, but stuck in time. It's supposed to be very angsty and tragic, and it's a demonstration of one of James Herondale's core traits eventually twisting horribly wrong: how he would do anything for those he loves, whether that be family, friends, or lovers.

This character flaw/strength is something I reference lightly a few times throughout the fanfic, mostly in the ways he is concerned about the safety of his family and friends which he tries to find out from Lila, who has read Chain of Iron and knows what the future is supposed to be, and then how he reflects on how he does not know what he would do when someone he loves dies. Honestly, the issue is that he cares too much about people, which is both a good thing and a bad thing, depending on how far it goes. Jonathan is the literal embodiment of what would happen if James' care went too far, if it bordered on obsession, if he wanted to keep someone from dying so bad that he would sacrifice everything else, even the universe.

So, Jonathan finally confesses to the time-loop and explains that as a drastic measure, he tried finding Lila in another dimension to see if he could save her there, but this tearing of the time-loop to escape it worsened a tear that Cordelia had already created in her fight with Belial and the Mandikhor to such a point that it started growing and expanding and destroying the fabric of time and space between dimensions and the universe as a whole. You know, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff (Doctor Who reference for those who get it). The thing he did not realise though is that in this timeline, Lila is not meant to die, so long as she goes back home instead of staying in 1903 (he still doesn't know this, it's just a fact I would have explained to the readers when we meet Circe, the employer of Poppy Morad (P.M.) and Saint Nicholas). This is supposed to leave Lila conflicted, because as much as she wants to hate his guts for being the reason for her family disappearing and the worlds ending, even this Other James is a reflection of her own nature, which is another thing that's been lingering beneath the surface for the duration as the fic: while James has a doppelganger that demonstrates who he might become if he cannot accept loss, he and Lila have similarities boiling beneath the surface that go unnoticed until an outburst we saw Lila have where she basically accuses James of being just like her (not complimentary at the time).

Lila as a character is someone who cares deeply, but is willing to sacrifice herself and others to protect what or who she cares deeply about (yet we also see her choose self-preservation over self-sacrifice a few times before she truly starts acting in service of others). Her circle of people she cares about is more limited than James', but the shared sentiments still stand. Plus, the way Jonathan has acted this entire time has always bordered on unnerving or odd -- I did that on purpose. He's been driven to obsession, where he's basically an extreme of what James and Lila believe in. And he is both James and not James in this way, if that makes sense. We see in one of Lila's nightmares earlier in the book Jonathan saying it does not matter which version of him he is or which version of her she is -- they belong together. Fully delusional at this point, but it's meant to be scary. I'm kind of obsessed that Jonathan is also a mirror for Lila to see how she might look to her James: someone who knows you way too well, but you've also never met nor know much about at all (she might know James but she does not know this one), who's inexplicably fixated on you (granted, James did not even begin to guess Lila's feelings, and hers were rather superficial in a way until they spent more time together).

Anyway, basically, the start of this rewrite of Chain of Lies pretty much began with these dynamics between the two Jameses and Lila. It was a whole thing with diagrams and late night ranting to my poor sister and everything.

So, of course, Lila is conflicted and she also does not know how she's supposed to get Jonathan to reverse the problem he has created -- whether he's also supposed to go back to his dimension and whether that will be enough to repair the tear. Most of this happens in the Notre Dame cathedral because I said so (I like cathedrals as settings, sue me if you dare).

Meanwhile, Matthew has been in Paris and totally avoiding Charles, so he also hears nothing of Will and Tessa being notified about James' injury in London and leaving by portal. But he does hear some French Shadowhunter gossip about the Consul's werewolf son's disappearance when he discovers Lila being taken to the cathedral by a masked man. Then ensues a solo rescue operation. Honestly, I always have a lot of fun writing Matthew, it's hard not to include him more. Anyway, the rescue is successful, and he takes Lila back to his hotel room to lay low for the night before he gets her back to London with the others (since he recognises that they must have no idea where she is, what happened, and she's an integral part of solving this whole mess, as people are still disappearing in this world).

I had a really nice scene planned that I'd been waiting the entire book to write, but basically Lila and Matthew spend a sober night together (as opposed to their time in the Silent City together) where they talk about all their woes, including their love lives, and eventually they get on to the topic of how they could have smoothed over both their dilemmas if they just had each other as lovers, if only their similarities were not such that would probably be self-destructive at this point in their lives. Because we've seen often in the book other characters compare these two, but it's these two themselves who recognise that, yes, they are alike in some ways, but not the ways it counts in order to have a healthy romantic relationship. They settle on being good friends. Matthew also takes her measurements so they can pick up some quick changes of clothes since Lila's still wearing her grimy outfit she wore during the explosion. And she also brings up that she knows he's an artist, but asks that she have the chance to sketch him, and he offers to do so in return, so they spend the rest of the night drawing, which I just find so sweet. There's not much significance in that at face value, it's just cute, but I also see Matthew embracing an old hobby as one of the first steps he takes in moving on from all his pain and finding better outlets for it.

Also, the platonic nature between Lila and Matthew, the complicated romance with James and Cordelia, and then all the familial themes and side-plots going on are all part of an idea I had going into this that I wanted to demonstrate many facets of love and the importance of each in their individual right. If anything, given the extreme slowburn I've come at James/Lila/Cordelia with particularly, I want to end this book purposefully with none of them winding up together because so many other things mattered more than their romance, and even the kind of loves they have for each other are a reason they don't end up staying because they would all rather see each other safe and not see each other at all than know they might cause other problems by being in the wrong dimensions.

Anyway, because I do multiple perspectives for everything, while Matthew and Lila and Jonathan have their bit going on in Paris, back in London we see James coming to terms with his disability and in all his rumination over what's happened and Lila being missing but him being unable to go out and find her, James finally (FINALLY!) realises his romantic feelings for Lila. This also leads to a scene between him and Cordelia where they both discuss Lila and their feelings for her. Cordelia also confesses how she has felt for James for a long time, but she also explains that she wants nothing to come of it anymore because she does not see herself settling down with him like she previously thought. James is a bit stung by this (I mean, my guy had no idea about Cordelia's true feelings until now and then she also springs a rejection on him at the same time when he's just begun to realise some of his own feelings around her) but is ultimately relieved since he feels he needs more time to figure out who he is and the life he wants without the bracelet numbing him.

We also would have seen Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas again and their increasing distress and alarm with how difficult Jonathan Bell has been to track and control since he's hared of to Paris with Lila.

When Jonathan finds out Lila's gone, he feels betrayed and frustrated by his failure. Because while he feels he has saved her, she's refusing to be his as she once was in his dimension (also why he was confused and then against her leaving and going home earlier in the story). The world is breaking down around him (we start to see parts of Paris going up in flames, not unlike London 2021 of Lila's dimension) and he's about to go track Lila down again (but now he's going a bit more heavily into Villain Mode).

We also see Poppy Morad closing in on Jonathan as he returns to London when she's defecting orders from Circe, her higher up, to take him down instead of corralling Lila's effects on the timeline.

Lila and Matthew return to London on Christmas Eve just hours before the end of the world properly starts in 1903. This is also when she and James interact for the first time since he passed out on the bridge several days ago. I was a bit undecided on how I wanted this scene to look, other than I needed them to finally confess their feelings for each other in the rain like a cliche after they have an argument where Lila says that James has everything she wants (and this is where we realise the root of her problem in this whole book is not simply loneliness, but a dissatisfaction with herself and her life, which has lent itself to the more superficial issues she's been having) but that ultimately she also just wanted him though she knows she cannot be with him without risking everything. So, when James confesses his side, they decide to spend what little time they have left with each other as best as they can. (And this where I as an author push them together like Barbie dolls and go "now kiss").

Have I mentioned this story has too many layers and plot points and it's been driving me mad this entire time I've been writing it? Anyway.

They quickly determine with The Gang™️ that "Belial" and "Lilith" are not who they seem to be anymore, because while Alastair just got arrested for the murder of Lilian Highsmith (oh yeah, that happens while Lila and Matthew are in Paris, because I wanted a reversal where it's Thomas who stands up for Alastair when he's accused of murder, just for funsies) everything else that has happened seems to be related to whoever this P.M. (remember when Cordelia was also accused of murder because Filomena thought she saw Cordelia when she was attacked?) and Matthew body double is (spoiler: Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas are codenames for other versions of Cordelia Carstairs and Matthew Fairchild in another timeline, I'll explain more about this later, but what you can probably surmise already is that this alternate Cordelia has taken the place of Belial within this dimension and is the one murdering all the victims (including her father. That was a difficult point, because we see in a PM and Saint Nick scene that he's concerned about whether she can go through with it) and Matthew has taken Lilith's place in some minor ways (like hiding and then handing back Cortana at the right moments)).

Anyway, because Lila's kind of behind on some events, she goes to confess to Cordelia (but explain how she also feels about James), when Cordelia says there's a lot more she wants out of life before she pursues romance again. That she's been so consumed by it, by finding love, by getting married, she's lost who she is beneath it all. (Have you noticed the theme for every character in this fic is basically authenticity and finding oneself despite whatever circumstances they find themselves in?)

Then, we also would have seen Lila dedicate herself to taking down Jonathan herself since he's the main problem that's tearing things apart and perhaps if he's killed then he can no longer influence time and reality.

Vaguely, I had planned that James and Lila would have what my outline says is "an emotional night together" because it could mean literally anything and I wasn't totally sure where I wanted it to go. So. Interpret that one how you will with whatever you prefer, honestly. Anyway, while that's happening, we see Matthew go home to his mother who is, understandably, worried sick and mad because he never wrote to her like he was supposed to and Charles return without him. We see Matthew collapse into her arms and just sob. That was the plan. It's important to me that he's actually vulnerable with her for once and that he, a young man too big to be in his mother's arms, lets himself be held anyway. There was also supposed to be a wholesome Thomastair moment that I hadn't really planned, though I knew Alastair would go home with Cordelia afterwards and she would start her journey to forgiving him. We also would have seen her kneel in front of Sona to confess A Whole Lot Of Things about what's been happening in her life, from as early as the marriage blanc and the Blackthorn Manor incident. Basically, everything is supposed to be hopeful even if it hurts just a bit and feels a little bittersweet. Because then in the chapter this all would have taken place in, we'd end with Saint Nicholas and Poppy Morad collecting the pithos from Christopher who picked it up in the background of everything (basically, all the Belial storyline has still been operating as it should, except it's being orchestrated by PM instead of Belial), when Jonathan sneaks up on them and fatally wounds (he had the intent to kill) Saint Nicholas, who he is shocked to find out in that moment is an alternate Matthew.

AND THEN, next chapter we would have had at the tolling of midnight, signaling Christmas day, PM the alternate Cordelia (whose character is the way it is because she's been hardened by some long and traumatic years -- she and alternate Matthew have a tragic backstory that I've been keeping in my back pocket that wasn't really necessary to be explained in the story, but if you want to know more, just ask) drags a dying alternate Matthew back to their tent where Circe, their mysterious employer, is torn away from her work elsewhere to start enacting emergency world-fixing in this timeline. This is also when we find out Circe's identity: she is Cassandra Clare, once again (if you read Chain of Lies) who's codename was derived from the common shortened CC she's referred to in fandom, who has universal powers and basically controls (to an extent) a good portion of the universe. Like a god. But also not. It's a whole mysterious thing that I never intended to explain because I think some things are better unexplained.

THEN, Jonathan shows up to 48 Curzon Street, covered in blood and calling for Lila. A fight between him and James (and sort of Lila who's attacking Jonathan though he refuses to attack her) ensues before he ends it all by taking out a silver pen (The Silver Pen) where we see 'Nikoletta' engraved on it, and writes a time-loop which snaps the final threads keeping all the timelines and dimensions in order.

Act Four Explained Slightly More Briefly

This is the final act of the book and also the shortest. It was planned to only be about six chapters long. Now, I was most excited about this part of the book because I had ✨visions✨. No, literally, the entire inspiration of this entire fanfic came from a dream I had about James Herondale as Spider-Man, me impersonating Cordelia Carstairs and not knowing how to do Shadowhunter things, Santa Claus as Father Time, and the end of the universe, and this is where we would have finally get to see it all come together.

We kick it off with an entire chapter dedicated to a lot of scenes similar to what I've written earlier in the book with Lila and James' nightmares, where nothing makes complete sense and yet the reader is meant to feel on the cusp of understanding something alongside the characters before the dreams usually end. Only they don't here. The dreams are reality, but reality is broken, and there is no waking up because there is also no sleeping and there is no normal but faint memories of what came before. So not only is the environment ever-shifting (think of it almost like a kaleidoscope and you have maybe a quarter of my vision here), but the people also keep "glitching" between different versions of themselves at different points in time and in different realities even (sometimes the doubles join and then they split apart, it's a weird nightmareish sort of thing in my mind), and so they also have different memories and levels of knowledge about things that have happened and what's going on. We see it mostly through Lila and James' perspectives. There's supposed to be a lot of angst and a feel like everything is a fever dream.

In the next chapter, things only start to get slightly ordered when Jonathan Bell finds Lila and says he'll rewrite the universe she wants so that it's perfect for her, and can have it be anything she wants, so long as they are together (major creep vibes though, honestly, as sweet as this might sound to some). This is also me addressing a problem from my original fanfic before this one, Chain of Lies, where I basically gave that silver pen waaay too much power, and now I'm demonstrating what it can do and so, like the one ring to rule them all, it must be destroyed (once Lila or someone else gets a hold of it to rewrite and fix the fabric of everything). Alastair saves Lila from Jonathan this time (he's still a bit prickly, but we see he still cares about Lila anyway), and demands she go find Cordelia to end Jonathan (Cordelia has Cortana which can cut through anything, which is important). Then we also would have seen that James is stranded somewhere with a fluctuating Matthew (the vision is that he keeps changing states from a werewolf to a living corpse to himself at various ages) and they are attempting to find PM, the alternate Cordelia, who knows Circe who should be able to fix everything as PM explains (she got separated from Circe and Saint Nicholas when the world went crazy). She leads them partway before she's taken by the collapsing world (she disappears basically, because that can still happen to people). When Lila finds her Cordelia, she's in the Paladin state (imagine glowing eyes and a vague aura of scariness with a glowing sword and you've got it) and it takes a bit to get through to her so they can make a plan to take down Jonathan.

Chapter after that, we have Cordelia distracting Jonathan so Lila can steal the pen, but she realises she does not know how to write an ending that does not kill all the Jameses since, as Jonathan once put it in her nightmares, "it does not matter which version of him I am... we are the same". This hesitance gets Cordelia fatally wounded, though she's not quite dead yet, but it's the final push Lila needs to kill Jonathan with Cortana (as also seen in a dream she had ages ago without realising it), and Circe finally manages to pull enough worldly strings in this chaos to pause time long enough for James and Lila to reunite to do the re-writing with her.

From there, we have two alternate paths. I called these basically "the happy ending that could have been" and "the bittersweet ending that was", which I was inspired to write by The Umbrella Academy (if you know, you know, I won't spoil it for anyone else who doesn't).

In the happy ending that could have been, we see the characters a couple years down the line. We also find out that Lila would not have died like she did in the other universe. She and James are together and they end up planning to propose to each other on the same day, which is the day after Lila successfully ascends. Then we see Cordelia and Matthew travelling together across the world as friends. After that, we would have seen Thomas and Alastair having dinner at the Lightwoods'. Finally, the Raftis family believe Lila is missing, presumed dead, but after a couple years they are finally moving on.

The bittersweet ending that was though is where Lila goes home. The friends she's made in London 1903 see her off before James takes her back to her dimension where they'd have one final goodbye on Blackfriars Bridge. That night, Cordelia gets on a train to set off and travel on her own. We also see Matthew, who has already picked up Oscar a couple days earlier, going to Gus' flat to complain that Oscar misses Gus and would not stop whining until they came by. We see Matthew finally tentatively suggest a first date, and Gus would accept. We close this part of the ending much like we started the book, with James walking alone in the night, just as he was when he left the Devil Tavern and his story took a different direction to canon when he found himself outside Cornwall Gardens where he met with Alastair. This time, James is alone, and he's feeling a little hopeful about the future ahead.

We get one final chapter before the epilogue where it's mostly Lila's perspective as she finally gets to experience Christmas with her family in 2021 and I planned for the beginning of some family healing and bonding to occur. Then we would have seen future James once more, who it turns out is now tasked by Circe (CC) with maintaining the space between dimensions, but this means he can't be in any one for very long since it's a lot of work that takes up time.

And now we get to the epilogue. Every time I imagine this, I get a little emotional. The epilogue would have began several years in the future with Lila dropping a bi-annual letter into the Thames, which I liken to the River Styx, in that it's where all lost things end up. We see, rather comedically, that she has moved out with the money she gained from some things she "stole" from Curzon Street, as well as her mysterious finding of the adamas, which scientists in her world are still amazed by. We are surprised to see though that when she goes home, she's living with the version of Matthew who nearly died in his previous role as Saint Nicholas, because CC gave him a chance to live out a new life elsewhere, in a dimension where there was not another version of himself. He and Lila seem to be doing well.

We cut to James of around December 1905 who has gone to visit his family at the Institute, where Lucie and Jesse are pouring over Cordelia's latest letter from abroad. James says he was just at Matthew's flat, and Gus was telling him about theories of time travel that the mundanes at the university Gus attends were discussing. We also find out that James himself has written a book, a science fiction piece with a ridiculously long title, about different worlds and the doubles of people that exist. After the dinner, he goes to Blackfriars Bridge and produces several of Lila's letters out of a pocket before stowing them away and shadow travelling to her dimension to leave a letter for her.

The fanfic would have ended on James' letter, which mentions briefly that he is having nightmares again of Belial's return since they have heard nothing have what happened with CC. Aside from that, the letter is rather sweet. But we see that Lila never gets a chance to read it, because CC collects it first and burns it with a lighter while humming "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas".

Concluding Words

And that, ladies, gents, and fair folk, was how Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine would have ended. It has potential for a sequel. One I never want to write except in my head because, man, I am so exhausted by this fanfic alone after I already did it as a rewrite of Chain of Lies. If anything, this is the sequel to Chain of Lies and the next potential story would be the third book. It's been a long few years, I'll tell you that.

Some final things:

If you're wondering about that green coat I was always mentioning: it was supposed to be my tell, along with the gold-ringed eyes, for Saint Nicholas being an alternate Matthew, who is also the leader of the SoHo wolf pack in his origin universe. For Poppy Morad as the alternate Cordelia, who worked as Matthew's partner in time shenanigans, it was the fact that people forgot her face once they saw it because of a facial rune she applies (one that does not exist but she has courtesy of working for The CC). That's why people often knew they saw Cordelia, but could not remember the details of that meeting, if they managed to remember her at all.

The reason Lila has essentially what I call "a death aura" is because of her alternate selves, many of whom die, and it's something that leaks between worlds as the walls steadily break down.

At some point in Le Grand Reveal Of The Time-loop, Lila realises that the detailing on Jonathan's mask matches the floral detail on the back of The Joker card she's been carrying around with her sister's initials this whole time, which hints at just how significant some of the objects in this story are and the meanings they can give (The Fool and The Master being other common names for the card, related to its unpredictability and capability of being anything).

Jonathan wears, obviously, his crimson cape, but his clothes are a deep navy blue and this is part of my reference to Spider-Man and the original dream that inspired all of this.

Future James does indeed have diamond stud earrings. I said so.

At the end of the book, CC would have reinstated Lilith and Belial (whom she removed for previously causing problems in other dimensions where they became too aware of alternate timelines) with altered memories, so the stories can generally continue where they left off (some a couple years later, which has some interesting effects if I wrote the next book, in theory).

And I think that's all I have. But if anyone has any questions at all, feel free to reply to the post to ask, message me, or put it straight into the ask box, I'm more than happy to answer since I'm already depriving you of a properly written-out neat ending to everything. Reminder that I am deleting the fanfic WBITHOM in roughly 48 hours from the time of this post, so after that it will not be available on any public platforms for reading. I am not taking down any of my other fanfics (except for the few that I already have some weeks ago).

Thank you to the readers who have supported me on this longass journey. You were often the reason I kept going when I wanted to give up on writing fanfic, especially writing this one, which has been a very trying process (I mean, it took me half a day just to explain the last approximate third of the damn book, for crying out loud). I appreciate the kudos, the comments, and all the enthusiasm. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Take care now, and I'll see you in the updates of other works in the future.

-- streettealee

P.S. special thank you to @thevagabondexpress who endured many hours of me blabbering way too much about this fic and these characters, who I pestered to give me feedback as I fretted over whether I was doing everything right (spoiler: there's no right way, just better ways), and who cared about this when I struggled to. You suggested I might find a way to give readers some closure. And so I also give thanks to @faithfromanewperspective, who went nuts for an Australian OC (understandably, as I would too) and blazed through my entire fic and encouraged me inadvertently to start updating again after a long dry spell. You still absolutely get to see my drafts and outline next time we catch up in person, but I hope for now that this is a good description of the rest of what the book would have been and it gives you some closure, as well as for the other readers. Thank you also to @quantummeep for reading and commenting! I can never get out of my head how even early on in your reading you recognised all the plot threads that I had been weaving together, and it meant so much to me that you appreciated the level of detail I tried to work with.

Thank you all and to the other readers who also supported me 💛

[glitch-in-the-system]

So the 1st episode is… very, well, silly. It's goofy as shit. I always debate whether it's a 'good first episode' or not because, technically you could say no, 'it's just random bullshit'…

… But also all Freakazoid IS, is random bullshit. If someone doesn't like the 1st episode then they're probably not gonna like the rest of the show. Not that everyone sees or has seen every show in the exact order-- but like if you were to show them the Chip Part 1 and 2-- while some of my personal favorite episodes… I wouldn't say they're 'misleading' unless you're trying to sell someone on the show being something that it isn't. Because if they go in expecting a plot… they're going to be very quickly frustrated that there isn't one.

To go on a bit of a tangent here-- I dunno if this is a common view now as it was when I was in the fandom, but there was this view that the show we got now was a 'failure' and that we 'deserved' a 'REAL' show. One that was what it was supposed to be initially-- and that we had to just make due with the 'slop' we were given until someone could make that 'real show' we all obviously wanted.

As someone writing like… three reboots now because my muse keeps escaping me, for one, I have to question why you're even watching the show at all if it's to try and piece together some 'real show' you want-- don't get me wrong! I love looking at something I don't think got it right and rewriting stuff… BUT, if you're looking at this ENTIRE show with revulsion, you stick your nose up, you go 'ew, I wish we got the 'real show'' instead of this'… why are you here? No, really? I ask this with sincerity.

I'm not saying there's not bits that didn't age well or stuff you can't criticize or even things that would have been cool if they were a more proper show-- it's fun to imagine a what-if. I personally fucking LOATH the fatman and blubberboy short and their characters-- it's just… one big uncomfortable fatphobia joke to me. There's not even any worth in TRYING to 'reboot' their characters without essentially making them different from what they were initially. Which is the fatphobia-- however, if you don't like the show as is… you can happily go to any other media or show that actually does do what you want-- I don't even mean this derogatorily! Just that being spiteful at this show for not being more typical when there's more shows that are typical (generally speaking) seems like a waste of time.

This was more of a tangent than a 'review', but like, if you don't like the first episode, the rest of the series will not be for you. Especially if you can't survive the 'Handman limitus test' essentially. If you're fascinated by where the rest of this clown car goes, however, hop right in.

Anyway I'd have to say my personal review is… a four out of five. It's very fun, and very like, chaotic and wacky-- but this was a pilot where they're figuring stuff out. By the end of the series it's incredibly fun to see how they figured all these characters and gags out essentially on the fly. It's a MIRACLE we even GOT a season 1, let alone a season TWO.

[firecoloredwater]

Ask meme: 6, 7, 22, 30

...I had the answers 99% done and then my computer froze and I had to restart and lost all of them. So OKAY, TRYING AGAIN

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

Not really! I wish I did. I am apparently very weird in that a fic (or anything I read) needs to be a certain amount of unfamiliar, or my brain won't engage enough for me to enjoy it. If I've reread something too much then my brain will go 'oh I know what's happening, I don't need to pay attention' and wander off and get distracted. Making myself focus deliberately just means being bored and annoyed. I am also really good at remembering stories (and like nothing else) so I can read a fic twice, maybe three times if it's especially long/complex, before I have to put it down for anywhere from some months to a few years to let myself forget enough details to make it new enough to read again. (For related reasons, I basically never read my own fics for enjoyment. I'll reread to refresh my memory before writing more, or while rereading comments, but I know my own fics too well to really ever approach them as a reader. I might get enjoyment from 'oh I actually pulled that alliteration/foreshadowing/etc off well' but not just from reading the story.)

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Uhhhhh somewhere in the range of infinite. Depends on how you define ideas for fics? If you mean fics I'm actively working on/hoping to write in the near future, that would be... about 6-8, probably? But if you mean fics I'd like to write even if I don't actually expect to have the chance, that gets up into several dozen immediately. If you include ideas that I haven't specifically thought about how I'd write them, then we're probably into the hundreds. I am an endless font of ideas and it does not turn off.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

Usually vaguely! But it ranges from 'and then everything is good the end' to like, a two-sentence bullet point of the ending scene(s). I don't plan ahead in much detail, because I do a lot of discovering and adding things as I write, and what I throw in that way will affect later scenes. So if I had a lot of detail planned for the end, I'd just have to replan/rewrite anyway when I got there, and probably be annoyed about losing lines I liked. So it works out better for me and the fic if I keep my plans minimal. There is an exception for very short fics. If I'm writing a fic that's basically just one or two scenes, and the entire momentum of the fic is writing toward the end, then I can know exactly what the end is. But that's fairly rare, partly because I also need to be able to write it all in one shot, and I rarely have that much time.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

.......................well I was going to dump a scene from one of the self insert AUs here, but it turns out two years is enough for me to no longer love the writing in that. So uhhhhhh guess I'll just. Write a new thing real quick!

(@executeness and @denialcity, enjoy)

Every clan has their own way of finding soulmates. Some are more reliable than others, and most are closely guarded. That's never mattered to Takami: the Uchiha's tradition is reliable, so any uncertainty that other clans live with isn't his problem.

He is fifteen and it is the first dawn after the winter solstice. The fire in the center of the Uchiha compound has burned all night, built steadily larger until it roars, and the flames dance as high as his chin.

Takami is not the only fifteen year old with a sharingan, but he is the clan heir, so he goes first. The entire clan sings as the first rays of dawn break through the horizon, and Takamii steps forward, sharingan burning as he shapes chakra and breathes a thin, precise stream of his own fire into the core of the flames.

He's thought before about how it would look, whether he would see his soulmate's form made of ashes and embers swirled within the flame, or if the flames themselves would twist into the right shape for only his eyes, or....

It's clearer than he imagined. As if he's looking through a window, tinted gold and shifting in the breeze, but otherwise the overlapping images are perfectly clear, as if he were looking at reality directly. But there are so many people--the fire shows the watcher's soulmate, but also everything around them, and there are so many overlapping forms. Takami prowls around the fire in a circle, watching the shifts within it, tracking which faces stay in focus.

He can hear. The longer he watches, the more sound grows. It's still thin and distant, but seems to come from deep within his own ears, so even the whole clan singing together can't quite drown out what his soulmates hear. A song, of course, and orders....

There is one flaw in the Uchiha method of identifying soulmates, Taka realizes: it's public.

He finishes a last circle of the fire. The song hasn't faltered despite the time he took, and it continues as he stops, and turns to face his father.

His whole family: Father and mother and four younger brothers, even Kunimi, who drank enough tea to keep anyone else awake for a week and is standing in his proper place with his face screwed up in determination. But Tajima is the clan head, so Takami faces him first.

Tajima's voice is pitched to carry over the song. "Have you seen what you are looking for?"

"I have," Takami says, steady as if this were any ordinary year. "There were a lot of faces, I had to move to be sure which one is mine. We should make people dance, next year."

"Then your soulmate is within the clan?"

Takami grins. "Hako's mine," he announces.

Several voices falter then, and people in the crowd shift, and surprise makes it through even Hako's near-perfect composure.

Takami is the heir, but Hako is beloved, the most beautiful and the most perfect and the most wanted. No one in the clan had even bothered to pretend they were more interested in learning Takami's soulmate now than Hako's next year.

They're not wrong, all those people chasing after Hako's every glance: Hako is the best and they should all be honored to have his sight fall on them. But he's Takami's brother first, and now no one can ever try to interfere.

In the firelight, so subtle than only the sharingan could catch it, Hako relaxes. Beside him, Madara sneaks a thumbs up, and his grin distorts his singing for a few lines.

It's not this easy, Takami knows. They're soulmates, so they won't be separated now, or expected to put anyone else first. But they'll still be expected to have friends and get married, and the whole clan and half their allies will chase Hako for both of those. Some of them will remember that some people have multiple soulmates, and keep hoping for another year that Hako will claim them even though Taka hasn't.

At the same time, it is this simple. Takami and Hako belong together, and no one will ever question it again.

Takami steps away from the fire, and goes to stand beside Hako instead of in his proper place. He takes up the song as the others look for their soulmates: one outside the clan, and one within it.

There are more traditions, more celebration, and Takami goes through them gladly with Hako at his side. Even so, Hako can read him like no one else.

It's late morning before they get even a few seconds out of everyone's sight, but the instant it's possible, Hako has Takami out of sight and hearing.

Out of sight like this, Hako isn't perfect either: his forehead is creased and worry bites in at the corners of his eyes. "Nii-sama, tell me you didn't lie."

"I didn't."

Hako frowns, his forehead creasing more, but it's true. They're soulmates. Takami didn't lie.

"Then," Hako says slowly, "why are you bothered?"

"I saw you." The images are still in Takami's eyes, hovering with sharingan clarity. The whole clan singing around the fire, centered on Hako, posed and perfect. And overlapping, a training field, four boys and a man with a voice Takami knows, barking harsh orders. "I also saw a Senju. Butsuma's son. One we haven't seen on the field yet."

"He has enough sons," Hako says harshly, then catches himself. "What did you think?"

Takami didn't think. He just watched, and knew better than to reveal anything like that. And Hako was right there to smooth things over, as always. "It doesn't matter. He'll probably just die anyway."

"You don't need him anyway," Hako says. "You have me."

"Yeah." Takami grins. "Always."

"Always," Hako promises, even though there's no need to, and then he moves on to batting a wrinkle out of Takami's clothes and herding him back out to the celebrations.

The next year, Hako looks into the fire and sees Takami alone.

Six months after that, Senju Kawarama arrives on the battlefield. He's grown, but Takami still knows that face.

He puts a scar on it.

[asamis-jodhpurs]

29, 56, and 74!

Thank you Newty!!!

29 (What’s your revision or editing process like?) - Okay my greatest writing sin is one hundred percent the fact that when it comes to fanfic the editing process is just me rereading the initial draft, fixing typos, and maybe shuffling a couple paragraphs around, or sitting bolt upright in a cold sweat and remembering something I forgot that I need to shove in. While I was working on the first three arcs of Loved by (Almost) No One, my first fic, I actually did have chapters drafted far in advance and was able to do more extensive continuity edits/even rewrite a couple OCs entirely, but that was during a summer in lockdown before I'd made an AO3 account and had the siren call of instant feedback to listen to, so I don't know that I'll really ever be able to achieve that again.

56 (What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?) - I'm gonna go with rhythm, actually. I'm a big formal poetry/scansion nerd, and it was an academic focus of mine in college, so one of the things I actually spend the most time on in drafting is trying to make the emphasis of the words land and feel right in a way that sets a good speed, and overall I'm pretty proud of the flow I've developed.

74 (You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?) - On a line by line level, the starting of paragraphs with conjunctions and the constant Emotions Happening As Feelings In People's Chests are probably my tells. On a plot level it's 200k+ Words, Two Friends From Childhood, One of Whom Is Heir To a Bloodstained Legacy They Are Pressed Into By Force, the Other of Whom Is Clever and Lonely and Capable of Becoming Anything by Virtue of the Fact That They Are Nothing, Slowly Fall In Love, but Oh No! They Are Separated Traumatically and Must Fight Desperately To Return To One Another, Both Claiming Lives and Shedding Their Innocence in the Process. Can They Still Love One Another As They Once Wished To?

Anyway, two nickels, but it's weird that it's happened twice.

Thank you again for the ask!

Fanfic Writing Ask Game

[acaciapines]

THE OWL HOUSE DAEMON AU IS DONE!!!!!!

that's right. i just wrapped up on the epilogue, and this project that i've been writing almost nonstop since june of 2022 is...done. finished.

i'm.

this isnt the first project of this scale i've ever taken on. but its the first ive ever finished and LIKED, that im PROUD OF, despite the many things i know i'll have to do in editing, the s1 oneshot i never figured out til near the end. this is a project im so, SO excited to get to read again, get to go through and edit, and make it--well, not perfect, because that would be impossible, but something im excited to share.

its. i dont know. i guess it doesnt feel REAL, right now. that i really made it. i started this with the first episode of season two, and i finished it at the very end of the last episode of season three, and.

ive been writing these characters, this story, for so long. this story really is just--a love letter to the owl house. a show i never thought i'd come to adore, this much.

i still have a lot to do. i have editing, rewriting, a oneshot that covers all of season one. but i finished it. from start to end, i wrote what i set out to complete.

as of now, the story spans 41 individual documents, 155 chapters, and about 900,000 words. these arent the final numbers by any means but to think that i CREATED all of this is like. holy shit, man.

i don't really know how to end this. i guess i'll say: i'm so, SO excited to share this entire story with you all. i am by no means done with this universe by any means. so i'll see you all in the summer of 2024 with story one, chapter one, of and a grove of palistrom to you.

[morningstargirl666]

for ao3 wrapped: 9 (non-klaroline if i can specify, because i'm curious), 18, 30. also just to be evil: 1 >:D

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

I'm afraid I haven't written for any other pairing than klaroline this year. I wrote a dramione fic once on ffnet? What can I say: when it comes to otps I have a type.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Probably Rebekah. She's got more scenes in tbbw's rewrite, and I struggled with writing her in for a bit. Compared to the brothers, I think her character was never as fleshed out in the show, with a lot of it only surface level. What does she like to do? What are her hobbies? Likes/dislikes? Dreams and ambitions? We know Klaus paints; it could be argued Elijah is a bit bookish, (and if taking TO into account, has a pention for creating cults and fight clubs lmao) and Kol, we know had an interest in magic and in my opinion, was a secret nerd. All three share the family flair for the dramatic, and can be psychotic in their varying different ways. But Rebekah? The writers really fucked her over. She's portrayed more as a Klaus 2.0 temperment wise, copies everything Caroline does as soon as she rolls into town, and the only thing that sets her apart from her siblings is she has a passion for the pursuit of love, and the human life she was robbed off. Which is fine as a foundation for a character, but not as the summary of their whole character. It's one of those times where the show's misogny was really blatant and I don't like it.

So I fixed it. It felt like pulling teeth writing her --- mostly because I haven't written her before --- but I did it. Pretty proud how she turned out.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I'd say how much I've written but that would be a lie. I knew after writing 10 chapters and not even reaching 100k it would not end well for me.

I guess, what surprised me was how tbbw's story evolved as I was rewriting it? Like, there's flashbacks that explore Elijah, Kol and Rebekah's characters and intergrate them more into the story. Things like holes in the lore and plot problems just starting clicking. I think when you write one chapter at time, you don't sit back and look at the bigger picture --- the entire fic as a whole. Editing tbbw gave me that, and its better because of it.

How many words have you written this year?

You are evil. You are the evilist evil to ever evil. I am feeling so ATTACKED right now.

436,507 words. That's how many I've written --- the exact count for tbbw, as I started rewriting it around christmas last year. And I'll have you know, that amount is double from the year before, where I probably wrote around 200k. Let us hope that rate of increase doesn't become a pattern or so help me god---

[maniacalchimera]

Kingdom Hearts Ask Meme: All questions. Roxas for the character asks

Doing the questions I haven't answered yet haha, this is going below a read more

My wife played them for me. I had tried to get into them beforehand when I was like, 14-15 but Cerberus kicked my ass.

hmmmmm I feel like saying KH2 is "mainstream" but I'll say KH2. I think it's got the best pacing, I like the worlds the best, and, uh, Demyx, I guess.

4. I despise Ansem the Wise. I already disliked him as DiZ but then KH3 pulled his reunion with Ienzo and I hated every minute of it. Go sit in the corner, Grandpa. And actually apologize to Namine.

5. Favorite world is Olympus Coliseum. It's almost a meme, honestly. I like 2's version the best because the Underworld is fantastic.

9. I'm assuming we'll be going after the Foretellers next and MoM as our main villain. At least, I really REALLY hope MoM is our main villain and we're not going to redeem him or say that what he's done is all for the greater good or whatever. Capital D Darkness as a concept is fine and all, but I'm really interested in seeing a villain aligned with the light.

10. I don't think I'd make any sweeping changes to canon, but I'd definitely make tweaks. The way authority figures are presented in general I greatly dislike, so you know I'd be coming after Ansem TW and Yen Sid with a newspaper roll. Wipe the Ienzo "apology" scene from the map, rewrite it (he was like NINE MAX when things went to shit he shouldn't need to apologize!!). And also write out all the bullying Sora experiences from his FRIENDS in KH3.

Uh actually amendment to this question: while I'd keep the story beats mostly the same I would ABSOLUTELY rewrite KH3 so that its pacing wasn't so awful. Love the game to death but Sora's interactions with the Organization before the Graveyard leave much to be desired and then the end of the game is jampacked with shit. Give me like three years, I'll fix it.

11. GUESS WHAT. I'M DOWN THE YMX/DEMYX CRACK SHIP HOLE AND Y'ALL ARE COMING WITH ME. The non crack answer would be AelDilEven, because Dads. (Sorry Braig, you're a weird uncle.)

13. I, uh...don't really read fics, actually. I read my wife's stuff and I read our rps. Our rps are really good.

Roxas

I felt really bad for him. I think I had some general idea of what was going on with him so it wasn't like, a mystery to me, but his story is tragic even when you know the details.

I love Roxas's dual-wielding style, and literally all his interactions with Sora are great. I don't know if I have any strong dislikes? I mean, he acts like a bratty teenager sometimes, but that's just teenagers.

Yeah, I think his story is handled really well.

I don't really interact with a lot of fandom, tbh, I've got my little corner. I do think that people tend to paint him as TOO angry sometimes? Idk

His return in KH3 is fantastic. And the MUSIC IS SO GOOD.

Anything with him and Seifer is funny to me. Man, when he got to be a normal kid...

Well, between his normal outfit and the darkness snuggie, I think I'll take the normal outfit.

.....I'm sorry, I don't think about Roxas outside of the games all that much. He's not really made it on the 'daydream about while jamming' list.

Hayner/Roxas makes me smile.

Roxas and Xion are BEST BUDS and I will KILL FOR THEM.

I don't think I have many specific headcanons? He likes weird foods, entirely because of Sora.

Roxas and Ven got that little interaction in Re:Mind so they don't count, but now I need to see him interact with the other Wayfinders.

I still don't read fic :(

[misailurist]

State of the Fanfiction

Wanted to talk a bit about fanfics I wrote back in the day and plans for the future. tldr: it's (almost) all weird-ass Simeon Saint rarepairs

Eight years ago, I wrote Simon Says, a way-too-long story about Simon Blackquill's time in prison... which quickly became focused on him dating/breaking up with Simon Keyes. There had been some interest in that pairing, and I liked it myself, but keeping them together felt antithetical to the story's overall message of "Blackquill is OK now and has learned to stop martyring himself for others," and also I not-so-secretly think messy breakups are more fun than successful romances. So that's what I did. Despite that, I'd had a lot of notes at the time about what a sequel might look like, where Keyes got out of prison and had his own redemption arc and became the kind of boyfriend who wouldn't destroy Blackquill's life. But when it came to actually write it, I decided that redemption arcs were boring, scrapped it all, and started working on my bonkers Keyes/Phantom fic where literally the only reason behind the pairing choice was, "Phantom is about as emotionally functional as an animal, so I bet Keyes could train him into being his dog." I wrote two chapters and then wandered away from fandom entirely to try being a functional adult for a while. Now, a whole ass time skip later, being a functional adult sucks ass and AAI2 finally got localized, so here I am again. I ended up reading all my own fanfic -- do you know that if enough years pass, you'll forget enough of what you wrote that reading your own fics feels like finding a new favorite author who made a bunch of shit just for you? Do recommend. And in those fics, I found three stories where I were mad that they hadn't been finished. Did you know that if you're your own new favorite author, you are now burdened with the knowledge that unfinished fics won't be updated unless YOU, YOURSELF update them? Awful. Terrible. Do not recommend. The three fics were: 1. Just Fake it. My post-bad-end Blackbright fic. I should go to jail for not finishing that. (On the bright side, it's what made me hyper-vigilant about backing up my writing, which is why I have the remnants of all the stories on this list at all.) I would like to finish it but I am in the middle of replaying the games and don't want to touch it until I've replayed Dual Destinies. (I am currently on...... Turnabout Big Top. Sigh.) 2. Impostor Syndrome. The aforementioned Keyes/Phantom fic, which I have updated with the new localized names so it is now a Saint/Phantom fic. Although it is currently just "the meandering post-prison adventures of Simeon Saint" fic because I am completely, utterly making this shit up as I go and haven't gotten to the shipping part yet. Does anyone want to read this but me? Trick question, I don't care. I'm basically in a fugue state right now and I don't think I could stop if I wanted. Also we are T-minus-two-chapters to where there will, in fact, be some actual for real Saint/Phantom shipping, so idk hang in there. 3. Simon, Horace, and Miles. The "what if there were no IS-7" AU. This one sucks actually. But I still love the idea of it. There's meat there. But the whole thing needs to be scrapped and restarted from the ground up. Something to consider once Impostor Syndrome is out of my system. Also I would rewrite it to be properly soutamitsu. That's a pairing the world needs more of, damn it. Also I lied, there's a secret fourth one that I never posted anywhere publicly: 4. Fabulous! A Simeon Saint/Max Galactica smut fic I started and then remembered I don't like writing smut. But the setup was pretty good so maybe I'll try again to finish it???

[loregoddess]

For three houses, 5 and 30!

Hmm....I'm gonna do all three methinks.

5. Which route did you play through last? I saved Silver Snow for last, which worked out since the final map was the most difficult map for me to complete, even with my superstar New Game+ team of MVPs from previous runs. But it was also my favorite final boss theme from the ost, so...

8. What storyline threads should have had more development / been further explored? Hm, well every route has its strengths and weaknesses in the writing department. I think either Silver Snow or Crimson Flower could have used the most development.

SS feels like a rough draft, which meant that Verdant Wind, in following all the major story beats of SS but just like, better, felt like the finished draft, so if I had been in charge of writing I would have gone back and overhauled SS entirely, and made it completely unique (they could have made VW unique, but I feel it's strong as is, so SS needs to change).

I feel like the writers could have really leaned into the tragedy of Edelgard and Byleth falling out of trust, instead of the short and weird little scene we get at the start of the second arc after the timeskip, although this would require a lot more writing going into Edelgard for the first arc to make the player really care about her and feel the sting of betrayal more (for me, she came off as very cold in the first arc, which fits the general gist of her characterization, but when I'm losing approval points with her left and right I felt like, "girl what do you want from me" slight frustration rather than like, wondering about her mysterious secret bc even going in blind with my first run being Azure Moon, I figured out her role as Flame Emperor super quickly, so she wasn't mysterious so much as. Cold, and deeply untrusting--which is interesting characterization, but doesn't set up a betrayal plot twist very well).

Aside from really pushing for a more tragic overtone though, how I imagine potential rewrites varies bc there's a lot of room to do all sorts of things that I think could be interesting. What I personally think would be interesting and what like, a larger development team would think was feasible or interesting might be different. I would want to put more focus on Rhea and the history of Fodlan, maybe bring Sothis back into the picture and really dive into the world she knew before she had to heal it. I'd also want an entire arc talking about the demonic beasts and their history and the lore behind them, I am so curious about the monsters in 3H.

Alternatively if the writing didn't focus on the Nabatean characters, I think the writing should have really leaned in more to focus on the BE cast, since I feel like this is the most interesting potential arc for most of their character arcs, but they don't get to shine as much in SS due to having to share the narrative with the CoS characters.

As for Crimson Flower, I felt like the writers chickened out by trying to backpedal and make Edelgard morally grey instead of really leaning into her motives and ideologies that make her an interesting antagonist in all the other routes. Honestly aside from seeing all non-central characters undergo negative growth character arcs (watching the BL kids suffer in CF was SO fascinating for a lot of their characterizations), overall CF was the most boring route to me, ending with me wishing I could have defected to Rhea's side bc her spiral into madness seemed a hell of a lot more interesting than whatever Edelgard was doing.

I think the writers should have leaned in to making CF the "bad end" route, with lots of emphasis on all the bad things Edelgard was doing. I was prepared to play as a villain. Other games have made villain routes a thing, the fandom still would have been a toxic wasteland I'm sure, but at least the route would have been interesting. FE in general has a really hard time letting female villains be villains though, so I wasn't entirely surprised. Would love to see a FE female villain who's ruthless and unapologetically evil with no tragic backstory or mind control or justification, like how we see with Scarlet in FF7, but I know what FE is about so my hopes aren't high.

Also I feel like the Agarthans should have either been fully developed as villains, or cut entirely so Edelgard could have shone more brightly in her antagonist role. Especially since, as we see in Hopes, the writers really wanted to lean in more to making Edelgard morally grey, the Agarthans would have had to have so, so, so much more development to be the proper, potentially terrifying and horrific, villains they could have been.

30. What characters should have more support options and who should have been their support options? For Houses, I was actually pretty satisfied with the supports. Every character (sans Byleth) has about the same number of characters they can support with, give or take a few, so supports felt fairly balanced overall. I might have changed some of the supports to focus on different topics bc I feel there are some missed opportunities or vagueness that could have been written more precisely, but overall I'm happy w/ Houses.

Although if Rhea could've played a larger role, I think she should have had supports with various characters. Supports are where a lot of the characterization is stored, and we miss out on so much potential characterization for her as a result. I specifically think she would have gotten along famously with Mercedes and Annette, and I would pay money to see supports between her and Cyril.

Hopes on the other hand is another story, and this is mostly due to uh, many characters not being added into the playable roster (MY SON CYRIL I MISS YOU). If I had the full cast of characters I hoped would be playable (no pun intended), I would have wanted to see supports between Hanneman and Sylvain, since they took Sylvain's character in an interesting direction in Hopes, and I think the dynamic between the two would have also been fascinating. (Also imagine how chaotic supports between Hanneman and Monica could have been; guy who's been studying all his life, and girl with a genius memory).

Nadir and Judith should have been playable, and they should have gotten supports with each other too.

I also think Ignatz and Hubert should have had supports in the Scarlet Blaze route. Hubert compliments Ignatz's strategy the battle where you can recruit Ignatz, and that is just so rare for Hubert, that I was like huh, wonder what supports between these two would even look like. They also both want to ride pegasi so...yeah I've been thinking about the potential dynamics between those two ever since. They haunt me.

I also really, really wished Miklan lived through the events of Azure Gleam, bc his writing was so much more interesting in Hopes than in Houses, and I want to pull out a lawn chair and get a nice cup of tea so I can watch the Gautier skeleton closet get cleaned out in his hypothetical supports.

[beevean]

https://youtu.be/fDKZJbOiEQ4?si=k_KZ2dI4EPU3FHyR

https://youtu.be/LSnbb8e7UY0?si=FbAPhkoSgToMQvIb

Behold! The Queen of all time!

(And somehow Lady Pussy Sun manages to be even more one dimensional)

What kills me about this whole monologue is the setup:

Lenore: Please, would Dracula have kept [Hector] around in his own castle if he were that dangerous? Carmilla: *sighs* I would have liked that castle.

They were just talking about Hector, about him stalling and Carmilla suspecting him of being devious (and I would love to know how Carmilla grew to see Hector as suspicious and capable of killing, when she hasn't interacted with him on screen since the beginning of S3 when he was a pathetic sack of flesh) and Lenore "protecting" him by calling him "too simple" (déjà vu), a pretty important conversation for Carmilla because it has been six weeks and this asshole is making a fool out of the entire Council by roaming around her home without doing what he was raped hired to do (and Striga had mentioned in S3 that they couldn't afford to waste time as they had to take advantage of the chaos in the region before the humans reconquered it)... then Lenore just happens to mention the castle when it wasn't even the main subject of her sentence, and Carmilla immediately forgets all about the Hector issue because she just has to rant about her desire to conquer all?

absolutely peak dialogue. flows just as smoothly as chunks of concrete through a tube. i can see why this show is so praised for its writing.

I remember a post I read ages ago, about how Carmilla's insanity speedrun arc devalues the other sisters. In S2, she was pretty much the only ruler of Styria: the others weren't created yet, and she was written as someone who had to burden her trauma all alone. Then S3 introduces this tight-knit group of besties, which genuinely respect and admire Carmilla for being the "spark". Then in S4 Carmilla somehow loses her mind in one fell swoop because the others were too busy to check on her, reverts back to the lonely traumatized woman who fell prey to her own hatred and thirst for power, and the other three decide to turn their back on her with barely any hesitation. You could honestly cut all three sisters and fuse Carmilla with Lenore, and the story would be organically better. I honestly don't know if it looks worse when you watch everything in one go or having to wait one year for this mess.

On top of this, it's yet another instance of show don't tell. Carmilla just tells us about her trauma. "The first part of my life was men taking things from me," this is a chilling line with all sorts of terrible implications, and it's just thrown there without any care or pathos. Because the focus is not on her motivations that are supposed to give her depth: it's to show how insane she is, to suddenly kick her back into main villain position after she twiddled her thumbs for a whole season, and to justify poor widdle Lenore being scared of her, because hey, she's the "good" vampire, and aww she was lied to just like Hector, aren't they true soulmates, isn't this poetic cinema?

When you boil the Styria subplot down, it really is all about that damn woman, and screw everyone else, isn't it.

I said in one post that if I were to rewrite Carmilla, I'd put more emphasis on the fear that pervades her and drives her to react to the world with rage, mistrust and desire to protect herself. I cannot take Carmilla seriously the way she was written. She has the blueprints to be a compelling antagonist and representation of a woman who reacts to her trauma in an "unappealing" way without being woobiefied (and I do seriously appreciate it), but with scenes like this, she really only comes off as the scornful parody of a radfem written by a man that is absolutely not feminist in the slightest.

Oh, and I'll just mention this here:

"Bloody women," they said. "Let them die," they said.

For a setting so inspired by Berserk, and that has long dialogues of low-class men talking about fucking animals, there is a distinct lack of misogyny on screen. Not only the only flashback we get of Carmilla's past shows the day she killed her master and we don't get to see her "nightmares", which means we are not privy to the details of what drove her to be so hateful, we never see any men actually look down on Carmilla for being a woman in power: even Godbrand may be a bit of a lecherous pig, but seems to respect her enough as a person. Again, this cheapens her misandry. I can't take her seriously. She's just ranting that MEN BAD and I'm supposed to think she's cool for it.

[mini-and-mighty]

🎁💕🦋📚🔮🎨 for the writer ask game

Bailey! You're always so sweet, seriously makes me smile every time I see one of your messages.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

So this is actually from my 2023 NaNoWriMo project; our protag Hadley has accidentally summoned a demon and decides to introduce it to her best friend, Beth.

Hadley rubbed the back of her neck anxiously. “No, but it’s…” She wracked her brain for something to say but there was no way to explain it without sounding like a crazy person. “Just, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

“Alright then. You can show her.”

“Show me– achk!” The choked off shriek that came from Beth was about what Hadley expected, although she was grateful that the girl hadn’t screamed outright.

She turned back to her roommate and held up both hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, okay, so I can sort of explain but the most important thing is that it’s not going to hurt us.” 

“Probably not.” Avorsael said. 

“Oh how is that helpful?” she demanded, watching the panic and mixed emotions play out across Beth’s face. 

“Who said I was trying to be helpful?”  

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Omg this one is basically impossible. I think my favorite would have to be 'Gentle Repose', since that one started out as a very short scene idea and turned out into a really sweet, fully formed fic. But it's hard to pick one favorite, even the cringey ones I posted at 12 y/o have a special place in my heart.

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

Really Bailey? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. 😂

Of course it's Ahsoka Tano.  I've always said that I basically grew up alongside the character, but looking back at my writing, I can see that the version of her in my fics "grew up" too. I'm able to convey a lot more nuance and depth of detail (I think) that was really challenging as a young writer. 

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Gods, there are so many amazing writers out there and I am continually blown away by the talent and passion, people writing entire novels simply because they love it.

Limiting myself to just five, as hard as that is: @dells-bells , @anxiety-banana , @lynnpaper , @webtrinsic1122 and @jedimasterbailey

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

Write badly. Be self indulgent, be cliche, dig out your OCs from middle school that were really just thinly veiled self-inserts. Write absolute utter nonsense and then rewrite. Writing is just dragging the ideas out of your head kicking and screaming, rewriting is where the real magic happens to turn them into a story.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Well if someone made fanart of any of the fics I've written for my D&D character, Maggie Marigold, I'd probably lose my mind and frame the damn thing.

I would love to see anything from 'The Forging' or specifically the scene of Ahsoka and Barriss sharing a cot in 'That joins the Sky and Earth' because I put as much sapphic energy into that as humanely possible.

.

Ask me anything or reblog the original game so I can ask you questions too!