#its wild that my goal of summer 2024 is like.

[acaciapines]

THE OWL HOUSE DAEMON AU IS DONE!!!!!!

that's right. i just wrapped up on the epilogue, and this project that i've been writing almost nonstop since june of 2022 is...done. finished.

i'm.

this isnt the first project of this scale i've ever taken on. but its the first ive ever finished and LIKED, that im PROUD OF, despite the many things i know i'll have to do in editing, the s1 oneshot i never figured out til near the end. this is a project im so, SO excited to get to read again, get to go through and edit, and make it--well, not perfect, because that would be impossible, but something im excited to share.

its. i dont know. i guess it doesnt feel REAL, right now. that i really made it. i started this with the first episode of season two, and i finished it at the very end of the last episode of season three, and.

ive been writing these characters, this story, for so long. this story really is just--a love letter to the owl house. a show i never thought i'd come to adore, this much.

i still have a lot to do. i have editing, rewriting, a oneshot that covers all of season one. but i finished it. from start to end, i wrote what i set out to complete.

as of now, the story spans 41 individual documents, 155 chapters, and about 900,000 words. these arent the final numbers by any means but to think that i CREATED all of this is like. holy shit, man.

i don't really know how to end this. i guess i'll say: i'm so, SO excited to share this entire story with you all. i am by no means done with this universe by any means. so i'll see you all in the summer of 2024 with story one, chapter one, of and a grove of palistrom to you.

[saranova]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

aka It's 2025 and I'm just getting to it now

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Tagging @feetreadyheartbeatsteady @fantasywithkassidy @thoughtsaboutshows because I don't think I saw any of you do this, but no pressure!

Thank you to @ubiquitouslyme @lizardsrunfast @oh-no-its-dragons @overjoyedisland for the tags! I haven't actually participated in one of these tumblr things before and being more active on this platform is a 2025 goal of mine so here we go!

I'm not on Tumblr a ton, but I'm trying to be better and, yes, I know it's already 2025 but there's no time like the present to recap my 2024.

How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

According to AO3: 382,988 um ... what!?!?

How many fics did you complete this year?

Seven! The rest are WIPs.

That Infamous Infantry Guy - A Halden/Violet prequel story exploring the theory that he was her famous infantry ex.

The Mile High Club - A one-shot modern AU where Violet and Xaden meet on a transatlantic flight.

The Music of The Night - Iron Flame Violet/Varrish fanfic for the Riders Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange (for @lunatrixart)

Tropical Temptation - A V/X/L Modern AU one shot for the Rider's Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange for @shipmistress9 that I co-wrote with @tegantales

Secrets Die With Those Who Keep Them, So What's One More? - A canon compliant short fic where basically everyone is feeling horny and experimental. B/I/V, B/I/G

A Ray of Light in Shadowed Clouds - A Tairn/Sgaeyl piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange.

Measure Up - A Xaden/Dain piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange

How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Nine

The Golden Dragons - My first ever fanfic, my baby! I had no idea what I was doing, I just started writing one day and this modern college AU has evolved. It's fun and I don't take this one too seriously, its a bit of satire and a lot of silly with a touch of serious.

My Adversary, My Abyss - An in-canon Mira/Syrena fic I began back in September as part of the Fourth Wing femslash week organized by @oh-no-its-dragons

One Manhattan - Modern Riorgail AU set in New York City. Co-authoring with @tegantales

Two Manhattans - Companion Piece to One Manhattan, sharing supporting character POV's.

XOXO, Aaric Graycastle - Basgiath's Gossip Column. A fun and silly series of tabloid style articles for Basgiath shenannigans.

Samara Man - Like Florida Man ... but at Samara. Spoiler: it always comes back to Garrick Tavis.

The Choreography of Combat - A series of one-shots of Bodhi Durran sexy sparring all the hot guys.

What was your favorite thing you wrote?

This is a really tough one. I love Golden Dragons b/c it is where my journey writing fanfic began ... but I wouldn't necessarily say it's my favorite thing I've written. Honestly, probably Chapter 6 of That Infamous Infantry Guy, it was my first time experimenting with writing something dark, and I love how it turned out.

What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Probably The Music of The Night. It was my first time writing something that was really inspired by music and incorporating it's lyrics into the prose. It ended up being far more poetic than my usual works and is very dark and twisted. But I loved how it turned out so much.

Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I was definitely surprised how much I loved writing Music of the Night, I wasn't sure how this Violet/Varrish pairing was going to come together, but once the idea came to me, the words just poured out of me.

I think the fandom's reaction to One Manhattan surprised me the most. I mean, I knew it would be fun and a wild ride, but I didn't expect so many people to take the ride with us and that has been awesome!

Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Definitely My Adversary, My Abyss. Though the response to it has been small, it's been SO positive. The comments and messages I've gotten about it have been some of the most supportive and appreciative I've ever received. There's a lot of M/M fic in the fandom, but there really isn't much in the way of F/F so i am very determined and motivated to finish this one!

Who is an artist that inspired you?

Both @oh-no-its-dragons and @ann7av have created fan art based off of my works and if that isn't inspiration to keep writing, I don't know what is!! The fact that I wrote something that inspired artists to create absolutely blows my mind in the BEST possible way. It's the most wonderful thing, isn't it, to continue inspiring one another with our creations?

A shout out also to @lunatrixart for her amazing Tairn & Sgaeyl piece she created for the Rider's Quadrant Winter Solstice exchange. I started following her after I was assigned her as my giftee - I love how the exchange introduced me to so many creative and inspiring authors and artists!

Who is an author that inspired you?

I have met some really incredible authors this year in the Fourth Wing fanfic fandom through AO3 and the RQ Discord Server. Though, I have to call out @ubiquitouslyme because her Xaden Year 3 is the first fanfic I ever read. It was what I discovered when looking for a cure for my FW/IF book hangover, and it led me here! And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Additional shout out to Lydi (who's tumblr name is escaping me) for bringing me into the RQ Discord Server and introducing me to the fandom in a deeper way!

There are just too many authors to count because everyone inspires me in one way or another! I appreciate every comment, every encouraging word, every kudo, every meme, and just all our general discussions. Thank you to this fandom for welcoming me with open arms, it's been such a wonderful journey!

Who is a new author you discovered?

Well, I am so new to this fandom that literally everyone is a new author to me! So can I just say, all the authors of the Empyrean Fandom? There's just so much talent here it's unreal. This is such a tough one because there are so many on the RQ server.  

@overjoyedisland @lizardsrunfastt @fantasywithkassidyy @thoughtsaboutshowsows @suebswrites @yanny-77 @shipmistress9 @greeneyedwildthing @pillowqueen26 @sarcasticmothwrites @oh-no-its-dragons @june-s-pumpkins @tegantales @hockeyspiral23 @siobhanbooks @essjaywrites Mint (who's tumblr name I don't know) and everyone else I may have forgotten because I'm terrible with tumblr and don't know everyone's names on this platform (yet)

Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

I did!

I've been writing One Manhattan and Two Manhattans with @tegantaless. I am not actually sure how it started, I think one of us was like, "Hey, I like your writing, we should write something together" and the other responded "Yes, same. I'm in!" and then we just did. It clicked for us immediately, and it's been so easy to co-author together. It kind of snowballed from there - we've now met IRL and have probably 100K words and three different published works between us in just a couple months?

What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I have three things I'm most proud of this year:

I started writing. Period. Hard Stop. I've never written anything creatively before and just decided to try it and see what happens. To say I've surprised myself is an understatement.

As someone who had never read smut or fantasy before 2023, I have now written both. To say it was intimidating when I started would be an understatement, but I'm so glad I went for it!

I pushed myself beyond what I was initially comfortable with. I've now written smut, m/m, f/f, poly, fluff, angst, and some super dark stuff. It's hard for me to believe I started writing fanfic for the first time in May!

What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That nothing is perfect. That every chapter doesn't have to top the last. That sometimes you just need to build out the story. That it's okay to walk away from something if you need a break or aren't feeling inspired, your writing will be better for it.

What is your advice?

Write what makes YOU happy! Write for yourself, not everyone else. 

Connect with your readers! One of the things that brings me the most joy as a writer is interacting with those who follow my work. I love it so much, that my first fic, The Golden Dragons, turned into an interactive fic where I have surveys and linkouts embedded and then draw from those responses to make it more interactive.

Support each other! I am a very slow reader, but I try to read as much as I can because I enjoy both the stories and supporting the other wonderful authors in this fandom!

What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish my current Empyrean WIPs, flesh out Mile High Club into a multi-chapter AU fic, complete one original fiction.

Write at least one piece for another fandom. I'm coming for you @acourtofladydeath

[justabirdy]

Let's Talk About 2024, 2025, This Page, and A Birdy

Well I think it would be fair to say that this past year has not gone remotely like I had planned or hoped it would. 

2024

A year ago, I was comfortably employed in a somewhat lonely corner of Wisconsin. There were rumblings of anxiety about my job but I was hopeful they would pass. 

They did not.

I ultimately started updating this page because things at work continued to degrade and I wanted to build some income while passing along a love for backyard birdwatching through the livestream. I still deeply miss that livestream and would love to set it up again one day because it was such a fun project for me and being able to watch birds anywhere I was also provided a sense of peace and wonder even as my job situation crumbled beneath me. 

But the job continued to crumble and soon I was left unemployed and unhoused. The livestream had to end and all my stuff was packed away. I'll be honest, I spent most of the summer kind of drifting without a goal. I applied to hundred of jobs in my field of work, made it to finalist positions for roughly 30 of them... and landed not a single one. 

So I spent my free time doing digital art, picking up leathercrafting again and trying new stuff. It was a true breath of fresh air to explore my creative side. But the job situation was also a huge stress and it quickly became apparent that I needed to leave Wisconsin if I had any hope of finding work. 

So I did. I landed a temporary job just doing customer service to help pay some bills and moved across the country to Seattle. I left most of my belongings behind and moved into a dear friends spare room for minimal rent. 

Fall and winter of 2024 have been spent mostly working, getting settled in the area, job hunting, being rejected even more from job opportunities, and meeting some of the best people I've ever known and a sense of community I have been craving for a long time. It's been a long and arduous year.

So What Now?

With 2025 here and no new job prospects to really show for it, my temporary, customer service job is coming to a close. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do in the long term, but for now, it looks like I'm starting a leathercraft business. At the very least I'm hoping to continue to make some money to support the fact that my income is so unstable right now. Though I love working on leather and I would love for this to get enough support that I could rely on it more consistently and continue making cool leather pieces for people.

I'm still looking for other work, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that my work in outdoor and environmental education may be done. The career I spent 10 years building just may not want me anymore. Still not sure how I feel about that, but at least I'm processing it. 

About This Page and Those Supporting It

My tumblr has been pretty quiet recently. Admittedly its just been hard to feel community here wile I try to navigate the upheaval in my life elsewhere. I don't plan on leaving but the things I post will continue to change as I try to find a new niche to settle into.

I'll still keep updating here as I can! Hopefully I can get in the habit of updating here even more since I already have some leather projects in the works that I want to share though I will likely be more actively updating on my Kofi shop and my bluesky as those are just easier for me to update regularly.

I hope you all will keep supporting me as I know I am going to need it now more than ever once this job contract ends. I know the topic of posting has changed a lot since this page really started, but I hope its still interesting and worth keeping track of or even trying some of my leatherwork. 

Thank you all for all the support so far and here's to surviving another wild year that 2025 is already shaping up to be.

[elminx]

2024 Planty Update: Year in Review

Background: Prior to March 2020, my partner and I had a few houseplants: two spider plants, an african violet, lucky bamboo, a coleus, some sort of ivy, and a couple of succulents. We started collecting Sansevieria and two "Corn Plant" Dracaena early in the pandemic. Then, during the summer of 2022, I caught the houseplant bug. HARD. (Yes, it was a Monstera) That same winter, my partner was working full-time and taking classes, so I became the primary plant carer in our household.

As of October 2024, I am caring for 50 "indoor" houseplants. I am putting "indoors" in parentheses because many of my plants live outside for the warm season (about half of my collection). This currently includes a tiny English Lavender plant that was in a pot and too small to be transplanted and survive the winter. It also includes an entire pot of lemon seedlings, which I will need to rehome sometime soon.

My "permanent collection" includes 12 Hoya, 11 Dracaena (Corn Plants, Lucky Bamboo, and Snake Plants), 3 Begonia (two cane and one rex), 3 African violets, 2 Philodendron, 2 Schlumbergera, 2 Scindapsus, 2 pothos, a Spider Plant, an Aloe vera, a Gasteria, a tiny jade plant, a lemon we are trying to bonsai, a Discidia, a cyclamen, a Monstera adensonaii, a fishbone cactus, and a Pepperomia.

For the most part, this was a great growing season, and my plants are doing very well. The spider plant and Philo Basil are being rehabbed for root rot issues, and my Hoya publicalyx is still outside because it's got aphids.

My goals for 2024 were:

Figure out how to get my Philodendron "Painted Lady" to grow well (done)

Learn to trellis Hoya in an attempt to tame them (done)

Grow my Golden Pothos up my wall (failed and rehomed)

Master trimming cane Begonias (eh - I mostly just let them grow)

Flowers on my Hoya (success, sort of, though not the expected one)

Work on coleus care (eh, its just really not an inside plant but my partner insists on keeping it)

"the great repotting" (done)

Over summer my cyclamen successfully (done)

Turn my front porch into an outside growing space (done)

I also wanted to try out different-leaved Hoyas, a Philodendron Brasil, and possibly a Rhypsalis. I ended up with the Philo (see above: that's not going well), a Hoya linearis, and two smaller-leaved Hoyas. Instead of a Rhypasalis, I got a fishbone cactus.

My favorite houseplants for the growing season are as follows (in no particular order:

Hoya carnosa 'Krimson Queen' wins for Biggest Surprise as it grew two nearly white leaves.

Scindapsus pictus 'Exotica' wins for Prettiest Leaves because those silver speckles leaves are outstanding.

Philodendron erubescens "Painted Lady" wins for Best Glow Up because it was on the struggle bus last spring and is now growing leaves out of their own cataphylls (a sign of maturity).

Dracaena trifasciata 'Laurentii' (formerly Sanserveria trifasciata) wins for Best Form because, wow, it looks like the perfect sculpture.

Hylocereus undatus 'Dragon Fruit Cactus' wins for Biggest Weirdo because it so wild.

Honorable mention goes to a two-way tie for Best Plant Pot Combo, with my NOID African Violet in its perfect pink pot and my Hoya 'Mathilde' cascading like a dream out of its mushroom pot.

My favorite genus is Hoya, followed by a tie between Scindapsus and Begonia. As a general grouping of plants, I prefer epiphytes and semi-epiphytes. I'd love to add more jungle cacti and an orchid or two to my collection. But for now, I am completely out of room, and (most) of my houseplants will keep growing!

[miki-agrawal]

Are we really in for a summer of love? A post-vaccine dating investigation.

Dating podcasters, condom companies, bartenders, and college students weigh in on the horny months to come.

Originally Posted On vox.com By Lauren Vespoli On may 3, 2021

How much kissing will happen this summer? Annette Riedl/picture alliance via Getty Images

This story is part of a group of stories called

“I’m excited to go a bit buck wild and feel so much safer,” says Elena, a recently vaccinated college student. “Just go on a lot of dates, make out with some guys, nothing serious.”

The 20-year-old Salt Lake City resident, who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her privacy, is ready to make up for lost time in her romantic life. She did some app dating during the pandemic, but Covid-19 was a constant presence, with several of her dates later telling her they’d been exposed (though she never caught the coronavirus). During quarantine, Elena spent time rehashing missed chances in her love life. “I was just thinking, ‘When I’m out of this, I’m going to make the most of every opportunity,’” she says.

In Manhattan, Marc Hernandez, a bartender at the cocktail bar Ampersand, says that even at 50 percent capacity, the scene — “which has always been one for first dates” — is already feeling like its pre-Covid days. “That gets me thinking that the summer is going to be a little wild,” he says.

“WHEN I’M OUT OF THIS, I’M GOING TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY”

“Shot girl summer.” “Vaxxed and waxed.” The “whoring 20s.” As the US becomes increasingly inoculated and the weather continues to warm, the number of Americans who are ready to date is on the rise: A Morning Consult survey for the week ending April 25 found that 53 percent of adults feel “comfortable” dating right now, up 9 percent from the last week in March (although women still feel less comfortable than men). Everyone from Andrew Yang to the bidet company Tushy — which is maintaining a herd-immunity countdown clock at CanIEatAssYet.com — are building anticipation for a hedonistic release of pent-up sexual energy.

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“Hot vax summer is coming,” Insider proclaimed in March. “NYC singles ready for ‘slutty summer’ of casual sex,” screamed the New York Post. Clearly, many are ready to throw themselves back into the social melee. “Touch starvation” is real, and it can increase stress, depression, and anxiety. But after a year of such intense isolation, fear, suffering, and grief — and as the pandemic continues to rage across many parts of the world — the answer to how people will try to make up for lost time and lost touch is more complex than the orgiastic fantasy hawked by Suitsupply.

According to psychologist Amanda Gesselman, associate director for research at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, the pandemic has motivated American singles to look for partners rather than casual sex. While “there will [certainly] be people having the time of their lives” when it’s safe to do so, Gesselman says, “we actually found that people are less interested in no-strings-attached sex than they used to be.” In a recent Kinsey Institute study on post-pandemic sex (conducted in partnership with Cosmopolitan and Esquire), which surveyed 2,000 Americans between the ages of 18 and 45, more than half — 52 percent — of singles said they want to find a committed relationship post-pandemic, while about only one in 10 said they’re looking for no-strings-attached sex.

“That was a bit lower than we expected, considering everyone’s locked up and has been for a year,” Gesselman says. That said, as most people have spent more than a year worrying about infection and thinking about how to protect themselves from germs, she reasons the mindset “might be extending to sex with unfamiliar partners.”

“WE ACTUALLY FOUND THAT PEOPLE ARE LESS INTERESTED IN NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED SEX THAN THEY USED TO BE”

Ilana Dunn, co-host of the dating podcast Seeing Other People, says she’s been hearing similar feedback from listeners and friends. “Everyone’s like, ‘Yeah, of course, I’m going to get really drunk and go wild for like, a week. Because we need to do that. But my goal is to find someone.’” In an Instagram poll that received more than 1,000 responses, Dunn says she was surprised to see 88 percent say that as people get vaccinated and the world opens up, they feel more inclined to look for something serious, while 52 percent said they’ll be open to hookups once they’re vaccinated.

Gesselman believes the pandemic has pushed many people to be more introspective about what they want in their lives, particularly younger adults. “When you’re in your mid-20s and you have your entire future ahead of you, and then you just sat through an entire year of social isolation and halted progress, it really makes you think about the things you want in your life,” she says. “I think a lot of people are thinking more towards what would make their future the best rather than what would be good short-term gratification.”

Meanwhile, condom companies are cautiously hopeful demand for their products will continue to grow along with the vaccinated portion of the US population. Male contraceptives saw a 2.5 percent uptick in sales at the beginning of April, according to Ken DeBaene, LifeStyles’ vice president of sales in the Americas, who says he’s “optimistic this is a return to more normalized consumption levels.” (Between late March and mid-April, the sexual wellness industry overall saw a 4 percent sales bump.) LifeStyles is looking at returns to employment in the hospitality and service industries, as well as colleges’ fall opening plans, to help anticipate demand, DeBaene added.

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At LOLA, a feminine care and sexual wellness company, chief marketing officer Monica Belsito says both “self-play and partner play” have been prevalent this year, with the brand seeing a 40 percent spike in lubricant sales and a record number of preorders for its new vibrator. However, as vaccinations of younger populations increase, the company “expects STI protection to steadily increase, creating a demand spike in condoms this summer and fall.”

Many people are also searching for a historical precedent that can shed light on what awaits us in the post-Covid recovery period, from the Roaring ’20s — when the nation indulged after the ravages of World War I and the 1918 pandemic — to 1967’s Summer of Love, when tens of thousands of young people gathered in San Francisco to listen to rock ’n’ roll, experiment with sex and drugs, and protest the Vietnam War.

“If you look at the middle to late 1960s as an opening up after a period of considerable repression in the ’50s, I think the parallel is not unreasonable,” says historian Dennis McNally, who also worked as a publicist for the Grateful Dead. However, he points to the FDA’s 1960 approval of the first birth control pill as a key influence in the sexual liberation movement that climaxed that summer. Even after seeing the hordes of spring breakers that descended upon Miami in March, before vaccines were widely available to younger adults, McNally isn’t convinced the vigilant “pandemic safety” mindset will be banished with vaccines. “The message of all of this is that reality is dangerous, which is a very repressive lesson, and it’s going to take a while, I think, to unlearn that lesson and be able to go out and relax,” he says.

As for the Roaring ’20s comparison often attributed to social epidemiologist Dr. Nicholas Christakis, the timeline he’s laid out doesn’t predict a pendulum swing away from the risk aversion of the present moment until 2024, when vaccines will have been distributed around the world and there’s been more of a recovery from some of the pandemic’s economic devastation. He sees this summer as having the potential to offer “a taste of the past and a hope for the future,” Christakis recently told NPR.

“PEOPLE GO ON A DATE AND NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BESIDES COVID”

Gesselman and Dunn also cite lingering pandemic-induced social anxiety as another obstacle to a bacchanal this summer. “A lot of people didn’t date last year, and I keep hearing from our listeners that people go on a date and nobody knows how to talk about anything besides Covid, and it’s not leading to good date conversations,” Dunn says. And in Gesselman’s research, one of the top fears respondents have cited is not having the ability to protect their own mental health as they reemerge from quarantine. “It seems like people’s biggest concern is when life opens back up and they’re finally able to pursue these connections, ‘What if I get rejected or things go wrong? What happens if disappointment strikes?’” Gesselman says.

Elena, the college student who’s excited to get back to more carefree dating, is also wary of the expectations she and many of her peers are putting on this post-vaccine summer. “I do think people have very, very high expectations, because you kind of need to live your entire life that’s been put on hold for the past year all in this summer, and if they’re not met it’s going to be tough,” she says. “But I think for the most part, people are really down to do anything.”

Tushy is a bidet startup which aims to replace toilet paper, Tushy was founded by Miki Agrawal.

[strawberry-jules]

the seventh

i’m back! i’ve been on a wild journey, emotionally. obviously, it’s just barely 2021, god knows we can’t leave our towns.

anyway.

i’ve been doing a lot of asking myself the hard questions i wasn’t necessarily ready for. why do i have to be in constant motion? what am i running from? why do i struggle with commitment to places and occupations and ideas for my future? what do i keep coming back to between these flittings? who am i? how does my sexuality play into my future? DOES it play into my future? how does coming out change me, and why? why do i feel the sudden need to reinvent everything about myself, when this is supposed to be a time to discover me?

that barrage of questions were pretty much the sequence they came to me and pushed me to the decision i’m about to make. however, i think there are some aspects i need to touch on first. 

i realized a little bit ago that i’m simply reliving times from my past that felt like truly life altering times. moments where my life might’ve changed course, through young self discovery or just momentous occasions. the main one i’ve been stuck in for a few weeks is the one with julia lay, where i first encountered my sexuality without knowing it. reflecting on it is making me do all the discovery and growing up that goes with it in a few short weeks, rather than the 2-3 years in which it took the events to unfold. it’s been a lot. what came of it, though, is realizing i don’t want to have a drastic change in myself that’s based on my sexuality. i experienced enough of that forcing myself to be straight, i don’t want to force myself to swing the pendulum back, mid-swing, when i’m perfectly happy letting it ride out its course while i figure out what i want.

i have reached the next stage: summer of 2019. truly, this started in the spring semester of my freshman year, january of 2019, but summer pushed it to new places. i felt this constant desire to be in my car, driving up into the mountains, listening to soft music and reflecting and escaping. i preferred going alone, finding coffee shops and cafes to read books or just sit on my phone for a bit, finding places to pull over and read a book, going camping and for walks and engaging myself with my life and with nature simultaneously. i lived moment to moment, perfectly happy in my responsibilities and how much i loved life. then summer came. a month working in a real office, a real 9-5, being a clerk! i drank shitty coffee and filed while listening to podcasts all day, and as any sort of career, it sucked ass, and i would never. but for an 18 year old, that was the dream. i was finally treated as an adult in a position of actual importance. i had to have a full background check, i had access to thousands of people’s very personal information. i was an adult, i was valued and respected and made good money. then we whisked off to europe. i checked off more of my country bucket list in one swing than i could have imagined seeing in 10 years. i felt this insane rush of being alive. these places we were in, so high and cold and nordic with strong seas and snow and tundra grasses mixed with trees and flowers and bees and fjords echoing the sounds of docks and the cool breeze blowing through an icelandic belltower and the traditional brickwork buildings we ran past in a sudden rainstorm in belgium; i felt home. standing on open moors on the ring of kerry, climbing ruined castle walls on the shore of southampton, walking the canals in amsterdam, drinking a cup of earl grey tea and journaling about the thrill of my day to day existence, so fresh to me and so full of potential, it felt so right. i met michael, i practiced minimalism and got a job as a supplemental instructor for my favorite class of my freshman year the following fall. i started exercising and continuing to take my mountain drives and engaged in all the unique classes i never considered being interested in until i let myself expand my horizons. i learned a new language and got dumped and discovered my sexuality and was so broke that i bought gas in quarters and i eventually made it home to my parents. that was all in a year. my life was independent and free and it was all up to me. now i’m back with my parents, in a pandemic, struggling to find the motivation to go to work, much less believe in a life ahead of me. 

that’s where reflecting on the moments that made me, me, became so important. figuring out why i loved julia lay so much, what that first love means for me moving forward, and how i can learn to make that a part of me without letting it overbear my personality, like i used to. a ho phase is not something i want to repeat. sex with men was meaningless because i didn’t want it. i want to respect my body and my sexuality now, and for me, that means letting it take a back seat while i know who i am without my sexuality. i haven’t given myself time to fully become me, without encumbering myself with the weight of a sexual identity. and who am i without that sexual identity? what do i want from life, and what do i consider success? is is working as a PA? i really don’t think so. the idea becomes more and more unappealing as i realize that i don’t want a family young. i want to give myself time to live. i’m young and selfish, and that’s okay. so, what does life on my own terms look like? how do I chase that life I felt so intensely a year and a half ago? 

I’m starting to think it looks a little like this:

i want to do a study abroad program or just study abroad and get the fuck out of the US for a little while, then eventually come back and continue to live on my own for a year, maybe near seattle or maybe in logan or maybe outside denver, and try to build a life that i find meaningful and successful and exhilarating. i think i want to be a flight attendant, maybe try to build a travel blog so that i can eventually go back to working in coffee or something while i fix up a sprinter van and start traveling that way more. here’s the timeline i’m thinking, and i’m open to flexibility. that’s something i want to start working on.

i’m going to change my major one last time, i think. i might do a degree in english or writing, and minor in a foreign language, preferably german. also, i’m not going to try to account for family or an S/O that might appear along the way. these goals are for me on my own right now. if plans change, i’ll adjust. but i want a solid plan.

jan-dec 2021: focus on work and school, occasional small trips and lots of hiking. prioritizing exercise as a part of my future is important to me. this means: stopping smoking. i’m actually pretty serious about this. i want to spend my money that i’m not saving on investing in myself. going on small trips, buying myself gear to backpack and camp, to invest in my relationship with nature and ability to be independent and self sustain. at first, my daily goal will be to accomplish 3 of the 6 daily priorities: school, work, exercise, reading, friends/family, chores. if i go to work, then come home and go for a run, and finish off the evening writing a paper that’s due, i don’t have to do my laundry tonight. the next day, i could go to work, then come home and throw my laundry in the washer, head out to los osos to hike, come back and throw it in the dryer and knock out some school reading, then i can read for pleasure if i want to, or i can veg and watch TV, even though i want to reduce the amount of time i spend doing things like watching tv or youtube. small give and take. i’ll eventually aim for a productivity level of 4-5/6 on a good day, but i’m okay with averaging 3-4 a day.

jan 2022: be leaving for wherever by now. gotta get this part figured out in a couple weeks.

dec 2023 or may 2024: be graduating with a degree. i don’t want to see anything less than a degree in my hand by the time i’m 24. i want to be involved and engaged with my daily routine and see how it fits into my bigger picture. i struggle to be a fine details person, and that’s something i want to change.

by july 2024: start a job as a flight attendant or something similarly customer service and travel centric. use this as a way to build a travel following.

by dec 2028: have a plan, girl. you’re 28. do it yourself.

that’s all i’ve got so far, but it’s refreshing to not try to plan every step. just the major ones, like school or no school and where and why, ie changing my major at asu so that i can become a flight attendant and hopefully have a degree relevant to something i want to do later in life. who knows what that will be? not me, and that’s okay. 

[thrashermaxey]

Roos Lets Loose: Battle of the Netminders

  Back when Cage Match was still my weekly column, you had to wait until the summer and winter for tournaments/polls; but the good news is now you’ll get one every month! And what better way for me to kick things off than having a tournament involving goalies, which I never got a chance to cover while doing Cage Match.

  The premise of this tournament/poll is deceptively simple – pick the five goalies who’ll get the most wins in the next five seasons, starting next season. But it’s more difficult than it appears, since it has as much, if not more so, to do with a netminder’s age, the team he plays for and his contract/cap situation as it does with his pure skill. Keeping those things in mind, here are the choices (in alphabetical order, along with their current age plus their contract status and cap hit). Vote for the five whom you believe will have the most cumulative wins from the 2019-20 season through the 2024-25 campaign. Although not listed below, the tournament/poll will also include a “none of the above” choice in case you think a goalie who’s not listed here and either currently playing in the NHL or not will be among the five goalies with the most wins during this period. Look for the link at the end of the column to cast your votes; but without further ado, here are the 18 contenders:

  Jake Allen (age = 28; signed through 2020-21 at $4.35M per season)

Once thought to be a surefire Tier 1 goalie, Allen has instead struggled with injuries and inconsistency, to the point where for now he’s lost his hold on the starting gig to Jordan Binnington (more on him below). With what they’re paying Allen, he should continue to get chances to recapture #1 netminder status; and who knows, perhaps if he connects the dots – and assuming Binnington doesn’t just steal the starting job away from him for good – Allen could become one of those netminders who finally hits his stride in his late 20s and then excels into his 30s.

  Frederick Andersen (age = 29; signed through 2020-21 at $5M per season)

If Andersen was a lock to stay in Toronto, then on paper it would be difficult not to vote for him, what with the Leafs arguably built to be one of the top teams the NHL over these next five years. But with Andersen only signed for two more seasons and the Leafs likely to be feeling a cap crunch in the coming years, it’s not impossible to think he might find himself on a new team for 2021-22; and if that happens, who knows if he’ll excel to the extent he is now.

  Jordan Binnington (age 25; signed through 2018-19 at $0.65M per season)

It’s not that Binnington wasn’t on anyone’s radar when the season began – he was a virtual nobody just over a month ago, with a grand total of one NHL appearance prior to this season and 146 AHL games for two different organizations. Fast forward to now, however, and he’s won 12 of his first 14 starts this season, with four shutouts and allowing more than two goals a grand total of twice. Is it more likely than not teams will find a way to adjust and he’ll come back to earth, ala Andrew Hammond a few years ago? Quite possibly; however, his beyond stellar play merits him at least being a voting choice here.

  Ben Bishop (age = 32; signed through 2022-23 at $4.916M per season)

One of the two oldest netminders on the list, Bishop has proven to be a great signing for the Stars and, unlike in his past, has managed to stay healthy for the most part. He’s the type who might not lead the league in wins for any given season but could be high enough on the list to end up within the top five when all is said and done.

  Devan Dubnyk (age = 32; signed through 2020-21 at $4.33M per season)

The other elder statesman on the list, Dubnyk benefits by playing a lot of games (he’s started the second most contests of any NHL netminder since 2014-15, behind only Braden Holtby – more on him below) and having no threat to take his job on the immediate horizon. The question is whether the Wild will opt to retain him in a couple of seasons when he’s a UFA and, if they do, how good the team will be given its ageing core.

  John Gibson (age = 25; signed through 2026-27 at – starting next season – $6.4M per season)

If winning was based on talent alone, Gibson likely would be a shoo-in for the top five. But what we cannot ignore is he’s had a history of injury issues and the Ducks look to be a team on the decline. While some goalies have played well enough to carry a team on their shoulders, as we’re seeing this season that might be too tall an order for Gibson despite how skilled he is.

  Carter Hart (age = 20; signed through 2020-21 at $0.73M per season)

Although always a highly touted prospect, Hart’s big splash came earlier than expected, resulting in him having been anointed the NHL’s next young goalie phenom. Even more importantly he’s already proven himself to be a true difference maker, with poise and maturity that wins him games often less so due to the team in front of him as much as notwithstanding them. Of course much the same could’ve been said of former Flyer upstart netminders like Brian Boucher and Antero Niittymaki, who began their careers with so much promise then quickly faltered. Plus, Philly has been known as the place that chews goalies up and spits them out, so Hart would need to defy those odds to be a true star netminder.

  Connor Hellebuyck (age = 25; signed through 2023-24 at $6.16M per season)

After inking a deal that, on paper, labelled him one of the league’s top netminders, Hellbuyck has taken somewhat of a step back this campaign. But the wins are still there, and this poll is solely about wins, not peripheral stats. With him inked to play for Winnipeg at least four of the next five seasons and the team seems poised to be a top squad for that entire time, the ingredients seem to be in place for him to be a wins stalwart.

  Braden Holtby (age = 29; signed through 2019-20 at $6.1M per season)

Surprisingly – at least to me – still only 29 years old, Holtby likely would be a clear pick if this was two seasons ago or even last year at this time. But with the exodus of Barry Trotz during the summer and Holtby getting a year older, he’s looked barely above average for most of this season. That being said, plenty of other goalies have suffered from a Stanley Cup hangover then rebounded to their formerly elite selves; and Holtby’s skill, combined with Washington likely to be a top team for at least a few more seasons, makes him a viable selection.

  Martin Jones (age = 29; signed through 2023-24 at $5.75M per season)

Think of Jones like you would Devan Dubnyk, only except three years younger. Lacking any near or even long-term threats to his spot as the top Sharks goalie, Jones looks poised to rack up wins. The big question is how good San Jose will be in the years to come, as their core is ageing and it’s not clear whether their younger players are poised to step in and keep the team elite enough to help Jones pile on the wins.

  Robin Lehner (age = 27; signed through 2018-19 at $1.5M per season)

What do you get when you have a player who’s always had talent and finally put his demons behind him, then couple that with the wisdom and tutelage of goalie whisperers Barry Trotz and Mitch Korn? You get the season Lehner is having, with a GAA and SV% among the league’s best. The problem is the same magic that Trotz and Korn are working on Lehner is also the cure for what ailed Thomas Greiss. With Greiss signed through next season, will Lehner be able to secure enough wins, and beyond that, keep his demons at bay? Time – and your votes – will tell.

  Jacob Markstrom (age = 29; signed through 2019-20 at $3.66M per season)

If you’re like me, you were surprised to see that Markstrom is 29, as it’s difficult not to think of him still as still a young prospect. But as he’s aged he’s found his game and the Canucks might be poised to do better – and sooner – as a team than many would’ve expected, all leading to Markstrom being a sneaky pick to do well in wins.

  Matt Murray (age = 24; signed through 2019-20 at $3.75M per season)

With his injuries and failure – thus far – to truly recapture his early magic, some are anointing Murray the next Cam Ward. Murray has put together stretches of play where he’s unbeatable, only to follow that with a few stinkers. Still only 24, he can likely work out the kinks in his game to be more consistent, unless of course injuries take their toll. And although the Pens are ageing, they still figure to be among the most successful teams in the NHL in the near term, so the recipe for Murray to earn wins is there.

  Carey Price (age = 31; signed through 2025-26 at $10.5M per season)

With by far the biggest contract among the voting choices, Price likely has the safest #1 netminder job in all of hockey. But now on the other side of 30 and after a couple of seasons of injuries, he doesn’t look like a former Vezina winner on some nights nowadays. Beyond that, although the Habs have made strides this season it’s not clear the team itself will be good enough for Price to pile on the wins – not unless he can get back to stealing games for them.

  Tuukka Rask (age = 31; signed through 2020-21 at $7M per season)

Another season, another case of early talk of Rask losing his skill followed by him silencing his critics with superb second-half play. If Rask was a couple years younger and signed for a few more seasons, he’d look to be a safe pick; however, at some point in the future he might not be able to recover from a slow start, and Boston might choose to let him walk as a UFA, in which case who knows if Rask will land on a team like the perennially strong Bruins.

  David Rittich (age = 26; signed through 2018-19 at $0.8M per season)

For a while, it was assumed Rittich’s hold on the Calgary crease was merely temporary until either he inevitably faltered or Mike Smith managed to find his game. Yet here we are in February and Rittich owns one of the best winning percentages of any netminder and appears to have staked an official claim as the #1 goalie on a Calgary team that’s poised to get better in the coming years. The wrinkle is Rittich is signed only through this season and has to show he’s more than a one-year wonder. But if he secures this #1 spot and his play continues to be comparable to what we’ve seen from him this season, the wins will surely pile up.

  Juuse Saros (age = 23; signed through 2020-21 at $1.5M per season)

As covered in my column last week, past precedent suggests that Saros should be – at worst – the 1B netminder for the Predators next season. And with his already apparent skill and Rinne’s advancing age, Saros could realistically step in and seize the reins even before Rinne’s deal runs out in 2021, in which case Saros could have no trouble earning wins on a Nashville team that is built to be a top contender for a number of years to come.

  Andrei Vasilevskiy (age = 24; signed through 2019-20 at $3.5M per season)

A top goalie on a top team – what’s not to like? But is Vas truly one of the best netminders in the NHL? Last season he hit a major wall in last third of the season, so he might be the opposite of Rask – a netminder who gets worse as the season drags on. There’s also the challenge of finding enough cap space to be able to re-sign him next summer without at the same time disrupting the strong skater core of the Lightning.

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There you have the choices – now it’s up to you to pick the five you believe will earn the most wins from the 2019-20 season through the 2024-25 campaign. To cast your vote, click here.

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Mailbag questions needed for next week

  Next week will be my monthly mailbag column. You can send me questions in one of two ways – (1) emailing them to admin@dobbersports.com with the subject line “Roos Mailbag”, or (2) as a private message to me (“rizzeedizzee”) from within the Dobberhockey Forums. See you next week!

      from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-home/fantasy-hockey-rick-roos/roos-lets-loose-battle-of-the-netminders/