#I would love to take some comms for these things they’re so fun to make!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tessiete · 2 years ago

Note

Either of this for Korkie and Obi-wan pretty please? 👁

• ansare - to hardly breathe, to be out of breath

• selcouth - unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet wonderful

@featheredmoonwings Look! Look! I did it! It took me ages, but I did it! I...I do feel as though each attempt is getting better though I think ultimately the take away from the end of this is not quuuuuuite as clear, or as focused as I intended. Still, I think what I meant is *in* there. I'm trying!

Anyway, all that said, thank you for the lovely prompt! I had a lot of fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it <3

selcouth

He’s in the dining hall, fork halfway to his mouth, when his aunt comms him asking if he’d like to come with her to Coruscant. Later, he’ll wonder if there’s a catch, some sort of agreement lying in wait he’ll have to adhere to. He’s missing class to go. Perhaps she’s arranged some extra assignment, or a supplementary report to be handed in upon his return. Maybe there’s a junior delegation he’ll be required to join to justify his attendance. Or maybe he’s meant to act as her personal aide, standing silent and attentive in every meeting.

It doesn’t matter. He says yes. He’d agree to anything, he wants to go so badly.

“What do you think you’ll do there?” asks Lagos. Her envy is so potent he can practically feel it curling the ends of his hair with its heat.

He throws her an infuriating smirk – the kind he knows she hates. “I don’t know,” he says. “Probably meet a lot of important people. Emperors. Queens. Maybe even a Jedi. Maybe –” he catches himself. “Maybe I’ll send you some holos so you won’t feel left out.”

Lagos tuts, and crosses her arms but promises to water his daesyn while he’s gone. He takes his databank, his pad, and – almost as an afterthought – he grabs the little paper book on botany from beneath his pillow. Just because…well, somehow it feels wrong to go without it.

This is silly because on Coruscant, the person who gave it to him will be closer than ever.

–

“Do you think we’ll have time to go to the Cala Brin Gardens?” he asks his aunt. Coruscant looms in the viewport, and they’ve received their docking permits. Only a few more minutes before they’re breaking atmosphere, and Korkie can contain his enthusiasm no longer.

“If you like,” she replies, smiling.

“And the Galactic City Library? Or maybe the Shrine of the Laughing Goddess? I know that’s on the other side of the planet, but I read they’ve put in those vactracks now that make the magna-trains look like a fathier-drawn carriages.”

“They’re not quite that fast.”

“Faster,” he says. “Do you think we can go to the Temple?”

His aunt frowns. “The Temple?”

“The Jedi Grand Temple. I checked – it’s open to the public. At least, parts of it are. The Archives, apparently, and they’ve got a gallery of relics –”

“Korkie –”

“They’re open to the public, so anyone can go. It wouldn’t mean anything.” He can feel how his aunt withdraws like a physical thing against his skin, like the bristles of a brush bending back. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Anyone can go.”

She waits to speak until there is nothing left on her tongue but denial. “I don’t think that would be wise.”

Korkie feels his own upset eating out the center of his chest like acid, filling his mouth with a sharp and bitter taste. “Then what was the point of coming here at all?”

–

She takes him to the opera. He toggles through the list of languages on the babble-deck until Stewjoni comes up. The letters are strange and he can’t read them, but through the headset provided, he can hear the music translated into this foreign tongue.

He takes the botany book to the Gardens. His aunt takes him on a path that meanders through a thicket of trees before opening into a wide meadow dotted with thousands of little white flowers like stars in the night sky. She points out a clutch of Mandalorian peace lilies growing in a grove of galek trees. He’s seen one of those before in the Civic Center, but never so many together. On their way out, one of the little star flowers drops into his path. When no one is looking, he picks it up and presses it between the pages of his book, hoping that the nectar won’t stain the ancient paper leaves.

At the Galactic City Library, the librarians there tell him not to worry! There is even more to be found here than in the Jedi Archives. But he knows that is impossible. The library could be as big as the planet itself, and it still wouldn’t hold what Korkie is looking for.

They pass by platoons of clone soldiers on their way back to their hired speeder. Korkie can’t help but be fascinated by their presence. He’s looked at his own face and seen his aunt in it. He has her nose, he knows, and her mouth. But he wonders what it’s like at someone else and see your reflection.

“Don’t stare, Korkie,” his aunt chides. “Now come quickly, before we miss our afternoon sup. I promised you little cakes!”

The soldiers disappear, and Korkie turns back to his aunt, eyes gleaming.

“You did, indeed!” he says, and they take of racing to see who makes it to the speeder first.

Most mornings, though, his aunt goes to work at the Senate building. Korkie goes with her. They have breakfast in her office, and she regales him with stories he’s never heard before about her university days in the city, or anecdotes about the most ridiculous stunts pulled in the Convocation Chamber, or what she thinks he positively has to see while he’s here. Afterwards, she holds private conference hours out of her own office. Initially, Korkie had worried that he’d have to attend these, too. Perhaps these sessions were the catch and he’d be expected to observe and report back.

But no. Instead, his aunt hands him a chit full of credits, assigns a Protector and an aide, and sends him off to explore the city. Sometimes he’ll glance at her itinerary before he goes, though he rarely recognises any of the names. This makes sense. After all, her friends tend to visit after hours. What he does recognise is the frequency of delegates and diplomats making appointments with military titles.

“We are at war, kairkiyc,” his aunt reminds him gently when he points this out.

“Well, the Republic maybe,” he says. “But we aren’t.”

Mandalore is neutral. Mandalore is safe. While these captains and generals bow and scrape, he remembers how his aunt stood in front of her own parliament on Commemoration Day two years ago. The Republic had just declared its intentions against the Separatist faction while the Duchess recited her Names of the Fallen, and promised her people never again.

“Let’s keep it that way, shall we?” Her voice is light, and her smile is wide and clear as she welcomes the next soldier into her office.

Korkie leaves, his freedom settling easily upon his shoulders. The day is bright, and the city of Coruscant is vast. There is no limit to the things he might do. He might go see a holoflick, or visit a gaming lounge. He meanders the shopping district, and tries on suits in the modern styles of distant stars. He overindulges on glass pearls in the heart of the culinary district, and then later throws them all up after spending the afternoon at a theme park that has a coaster with a drop of three city levels. He skirts the edge of every district that surrounds the Temple, but his aunt’s caution nags at him and so he keeps his distance. Close, but never touching. It wouldn’t do to draw suspicion, and he is never without eyes on him. The aide keeps time so that he gets back to the Senate before dark. The Protector follows behind.

–

Once the sun sets and the work of the day has been put to rest like a recalcitrant child, his aunt receives more welcome visitors to her offices.

Senator Organa, he knows. He has been to Mandalore before, and though Korkie is endlessly curious and eager to see the wider galaxy, and though he appreciates the insight into the mechanisms of governance, he can’t help but feel relief at the sight of a familiar face here on this strange world.

The senator passes Korkie a small parcel of Alderaanian candy. A label reads sweets for the sweet in his wife’s hand. Korkie grimaces. It seems Her Majesty The Queen still thinks him three years old and unblooded. But after the first bite of licorice kangan he forgives her.

“So! Is the seat of galactic democracy everything you thought it’d be?” Organa asks.

“There’s a lot more paperwork than I imagined,” Korkie says, mouth full.

Organa chuckles. “Tell me about it.”

Korkie likes Organa. He likes how he carries himself. He likes the easiness of his laughter and the flexibility of his good humor. He likes how Organa listens to his opinions on things without interruption, and without throwing indulgent looks in his aunt’s direction. He likes that he drives his speeder with the roof down, even at the height of Coruscant traffic. He likes that he doesn’t tell him to sit back when he leans over the side to see how far down the city levels go. He likes that on their way back to his aunt’s apartments near the Senate, he slows down and points out the Jedi Temple as if it is a new thing and not something Korkie has thought about or imagined a million times. Korkie lets him believe this.

“That’s the Processional Way,” Bail says, pointing at a long mall lined by ancient stone figures. “That’s the route a Jedi takes the day before he’s knighted. Then, they climb the spire to spend a night meditation. Do you know anything about the Jedi?”

“A bit,” Korkie says, leaning over the door to get a better look. Temple airspace is restricted, but he can see the tiny flecks of shadow walking up and down the path. He imagines what it must be like to walk it. The sound of his feet against the stone. The swirl of robes brushing the back of his calves. The wind spilling over the towers and flowing along the concourse like a river. The weight of a sabre at his hip. The brush of the Force at his fingertips. “Do you?”

“Can anyone ever know the Jedi?” Bail chuckles.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, in my experience, they’re never quite what you expect.”

“Have you ever met one?”

Bail laughs. “Oh, I’ve met many.”

“I met one,” he says, looking back over his shoulder with great authority. “Ahsoka Tano. Though she was just a Padawan, I suppose. And I – Do you know Master Kenobi? I met him once, too.”

“Master Kenobi, of course,” says Bail. “One of my good friends. You’ll never meet a better Jedi than him. Or a better man.”

“He’s not what you expect?”

Bail laughs. “No,” he says. “He’s better.”

The Temple glistens gold in the sunset.

–

Garm Bel Iblis is easygoing and free with his laughter, too, but even so, he frightens Korkie. There’s just something about him that seems dangerous as if even his joy must be held in check. But his aunt assures him he’s harmless.

“As harmless as a tooka in a toko nest,” Korkie mutters.

His aunt laughs, and gets out her best bottle of tihaar, cracking it open at the same moment Bel Iblis lets himself into her rooms. Garm has come for a visit three times in the last week. Always, he has exceptional timing, and he never turns down a drink. Usually, Korkie joins them with a frizzpop or a tea, letting the tide of their conversation roll in and out, and drag on and on. But this time, when he sees the two tumblers Satine has set out he winks at Korkie and tells her she might as well get another.

“How old are you, kid? Man enough, I’d say. Your Honorable Grace, we ought to raise a toast to your nephew’s first trip to the Core.”

“I’ve been to Alderaan before,” Korkie protests.

Garm claps him on the arm. “Coruscant ain’t Alderaan. Come on, Satine, let the kid have a drink.”

Shockingly, his aunt agrees.

He sits with the alcohol cradled in his hands, sipping when his aunt takes a sip, and when he’s finished, Garm laughs and says, “Better keep an eye on the boy, Satine. No one’s that stoic if it’s really their first taste of tihaar.”

Korkie ducks his head as his cheeks flush, the heat of the alcohol only heightening the heat of his embarrassment. He coughs, but it’s clear the deception comes far too late – it serves no other purpose than to send Garm into a bout of raucous laughter.

His aunt hums speculatively as Korkie turns his glass over in his hands.

“Would anyone like a drink of water?” he asks.

“No, but you can bring the bottle if you’re going to the cold box.” Garm shakes his tumbler, rattling the ice cubes that have yet to melt.

Korkie rolls his eyes but obeys. The tihaar has left a sweet-sour taste on his tongue that reminds him of school, and of his guilt. He pours some water into his empty glass and downs it before refilling it again. Behind him, he can hear snatches of a conversation about people he doesn’t know going places he’s never been.

“I saw Amidala on my way up,” says Garm. “She mentioned dinner plans. You’ve been dithering about for two weeks. Can I assume this is your true reason for being here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Senator. I came for work – though I don’t expect you to have much understanding of that, either.”

Garm laughs again, warm and comfortable. “The best business is done over drinks,” he says.

“Then I suppose Padme is taking your lesson to heart.”

“You and I both know that dinner isn’t drinks. It’s something else.”

“A coincidence.”

“Good,” he says. Korkie hears the sound of the glass hitting the table as it’s set aside. “Then I’ll take it to mean if I were to ask you now, you’d be free tonight?

Korkie grasps the bottle of tihaar by the neck and turns back to see Garm sprawled out with his legs spread and his arms folded behind his head. His aunt laughs softly, hesitating on the edge of an answer.

“I –”

But Korkie gets there first.

“A top up, Senator?” Korkie asks, holding the bottle out towards Garm’s glass.

Garm smirks, looking from Korkie and back to his aunt.

“Yeah,” he says. “I didn’t think so.”

–

The next night, he gets dressed in a fine set of twill trousers and a cross-cut tunic that’s so popular in Sundari these days. He combs back his hair, and pats it down until it lies flat and orderly, parted to the side.

His aunt comes in dressed in shimmersilk. She stops short, her gaze meeting his in the mirror. Though beautiful, she looks pale, her mouth drawn and discontent drawing a line between her brows. In her hands, she holds a battered travel cloak.

“I thought we were going to Mozca’s for dinner,” he says.

She crosses the room, pressing the cloak into his hands then raking her fingers through his hair, mussing it up.

“Hey –!”

“I am going to Mozca’s,” she says, stepping back and looking him over. He tries to sweep his hair back but it refuses to stay in place now that it’s been set free. “I am going to Mozca’s. You are not.”

“What? Why?”

She turns on her heel and hurries out of the fresher, throwing on a much more fashionable cloak over her gown. He follows after her, all confusion.

“Auntie, if this is because of the tihaar, I swear it was one drink. And it was Tav’s graduation! That was practically a year ago, and –”

“Senator Organa is waiting in a speeder downstairs.”

“I don’t want to go back to our rooms. Please can’t I come?”

“Not tonight.”

“But –”

“For Hod’s sake, Korkie, must you debate everything?”

He stops in his tracks. When maybe a few years ago he might have burst into tears and plaintive whines, he now cocks his head, the defiance of adolescence taking great offense to this accusation.

“I don’t debate everything,” he says.

His aunt merely looks at him.

He sighs. “Fine.”

He throws the ratty cloak over his shoulders and she pins it closed at the front, giving him a swift kiss on the cheek and then pulling up the hood.

“It’s cold out,” she says. “Keep this up. For my sake.”

“Yes, Auntie.”

“Remember. Senator Organa. He’s waiting in Bay Four.”

“Yes, Auntie.”

“Comm me when you –”

“Yes, Auntie. Goodness, it’s not as if I’m going to get lost between here and home.”

She only smiles at him, tight and somewhat sad. Why sad? He wants to ask but he half thinks that if he says it, she’ll confirm it, and he’d rather believe it was only the shadows and his imagination that makes her look so. Still, he keeps the hood up as he makes his way through the corridors of the Senate building and down the lifts to the docking bays. For her sake.

Senator Organa’s speeder has the roof up today.

He’s still familiar, but that ease about him is gone, replaced by a strange and worrying gravity. He throws open the passenger door, looking back over Korkie’s shoulder though no one is behind him.

Once he’s safely inside and wearing his harness, he throws back the hood and exhales against the mounting tension. Bail gives him a once over, taking in the cloak and the messy hair.

“Thank you for the ride, Senator,” Korkie says.

Bail hums. His speculation becomes acute and Korkie squirms breaking whatever thought it was that had Bail so entwined. “Don’t mention it,” he says, then backs out of the space, dropping them into the Coruscanti night.

–

Organa doesn’t take him home.

Instead, he asks, “Are you hungry?” and without waiting for an answer, he drops them down several levels and swings into park at a seedy little diner on the edge of a district.

Korkie looks at the restaurant. He wants to be polite, but he’s never been down this low before, he’s never been out alone with Senator Organa before, and he promised his Aunt he’d go straight home.

The Senator reaches over and lifts his hood back up. Then, in a voice that makes Korkie think they ought to be whispering in a dark corner of the Senate building, he says, “Keep this up, and keep your head down. Find Dex. Dex, okay? He’s a besalisk. You know what that is?”

“Yes.”

“Only Dex. You find him, and you tell him that Ben’s waiting for you.”

“Who’s Ben?”

“Talk to no one else.”

“Senator –”

“Do you understand?”

It’s strange. He ought to be afraid. But just like with Almec, there is no fear. Only a calm kind of certainty. There is danger here, but it doesn’t come from the senator. He can be trusted.

“I understand,” he says.

Then, he exits the speeder and walks toward the diner with his shoulders hunched and his face hidden by the fall of his cloak.

Inside, it is as if all the light of the city has been condensed and poured out into cup. There are voices raised in laughter and debate. The smell of fried food and syrupy sweets floats through the air, mingling with the chemical tang of cheap cleaning supplies. A sweeper droid butts at his heels, urging him out of the way, and a set of tentacles prod at his shoulders, sending him stumbling out of the way as a Parwan in a rush barrels through.

Korkie tugs at his hood, and pushes his way up to the bar. Over the heads bobbing up and down, he sees a large alien with a ridged head and four arms slinging drinks and pushing plates. He aims for him. When he’s up against the countertop, bodies pressing him into the ledge, he reaches out to tug on the stained white hem of the besalisk’s shirt.

“Excuse me, sir –”

The besalisk turns, his frown melting into a look of comprehension.

“Let me guess. You’re looking for Ben, aren’t you?”

“I –” Korkie nods.

“Flo!” A droid whirrs up behind Korkie, bearing a tray and a load of dishes. “Show him to his seat. Then wipe your banks after.”

“Sure thing, honey,” she says. Then, her hand on Korkie’s elbow, she leads him through the throng. “This way.”

At the very back of the diner, in a tiny booth by a window with the privacy screen drawn sits a man wearing a worn grey suit similar to those worn by Senate administrators and data clerks. But he is not a clerk or a secretary.

He is a Jedi.

Korkie’s heart leaps up to his throat as if it’s trying to make a bid for freedom as if it’s trying to reach its origin and its home. He slides into the seat. “Master Ken–”

“Thank you, Flo.”

“No problem, sugar.”

Right. No names. He understands that. He understands subtlety and subterfuge. He has lived it his whole life. Suitably chastened to silence, Korkie watches the serving droid disappear into the crowd. He licks his lips and dares to look at the Jedi again. It seems to him he very nearly shines with light, gleaming golden and bright under in the gloom of the diner.

“Seems like an awful lot of people here to be private,” Korkie says.

Master Kenobi smirks. “Sometimes the more voices speaking, the less there is being heard. I would have thought your Aunt had taught you that.”

“She – well…” He doesn’t want to insult Master Kenobi by debating with him. “Perhaps I’m only a terrible student,” he says.

“That’s not what I’ve heard.”

“Oh.”

Korkie wriggles in his seat, pulling at the cuffs of his sleeves, and twisting the hem of his cloak wondering what on Urch his aunt has said about him. And what is he meant to say back? It he meant to talk about his day? About his schoolwork? Is he meant to tell his father about Tav’s graduation and the tihaar they smuggled in after curfew? Is he meant to complain about his the prefects and juniors who bag for them? What does one say to the Hero of the Republic?

Master Kenobi has liberated worlds and saved thousands of lives. He lifts his lightsaber and despots fall. Dictatorships crumble to dust under the might of his fist, and tyrants surrender to the melodies of his silver tongue. He is a Jedi. To Korkie, he is the Jedi, and he remembers as a child how his aunt would point to this man in old holoreels and tell him how brave he was, how strong, how pure. His throat goes dry, the silence growing awkward and heavy.

Then they both speak at once.

“I hope you like nerf burgers –”

“I saw they had nerf burgers on the menu – oh.”

Master Kenobi makes an aborted huff. He laughs, or maybe he sighs. It’s hard to tell and Korkie has very little to compare the sound to.

“Yes,” he says. “I’ve taken the liberty of ordering us a bit of everything. Or near enough. And Dex will supply the rest anyway. He’s very enthusiastic.”

“Is that the besalisk?”

“Yes. A fine chef, and cleverer than he looks. Fingers in more pies than he has hands, you know.”

“Oh.” A joke? Korkie isn’t sure, so he smothers the little laugh that beats against his teeth.

“Well, anyway…thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for – I suppose my aunt asked you to do this? I’ve been bugging her and bugging her for weeks, but I swear, I only asked to go to the Temple. It’s open to the public, you know, so it wouldn’t have to raise any – any suspicions. Not that there are any. To raise. I mean, I just – but I didn’t mean for her to put it on you. I would never have asked you –”

“I asked your m – aunt. I asked to meet with you. I didn’t know how we’d manage it, but I thought that after our last…encounter…I thought it was unfair. To ask of you so much grace, and offer you so little in return.”

“Oh,” says Korkie. He doesn’t feel lacking in grace, or whatever it is his father is speaking of, so he rushes to reassure him rather than risk him running off. “I don’t mind.”

Master Kenobi smiles. The curve of his mouth is hidden by his beard, but his eyes crinkle at the edges like the pages of Korkie’s botany book, and for a brief, delirious second he wonders if that can be pressed and preserved like the star flower he kept.

“So, how are you enjoying Coruscant?”

“I like it a lot!”

“Do you?”

“Yes, of course,” Korkie says, leaning hard into enthusiasm. “The opera was wonderful, and all the people have been wonderful! I’ve never seen so many different cultures in one place. And we went to the Gardens, and a speeder race, and at least three or four ceremonial galas. Thankfully, she’s excused me from any obligation I might have had to Senatorial duties. I was half-afraid in coming she might assign me a report or make me take notes on it all, though, between you and me I rather despise politics though I find the theories and philosophies interesting enough –”

At this, Master Kenobi throws back his head, his laughter bursting out and coloring the rest of the ringing din with its notes of unexpected delight. Korkie can’t help but smile, though he doesn’t know what’s so funny about that.

The Jedi reaches out across the table, palm up to forestall any offense. Korkie twists his own hands together on his lap so that he doesn’t reach back and take it.

“Oh, Kiorkicek,” his father says. “You and me, both.”

Something that was so tight it was on the edge of snapping instead uncoils gently in his chest. His shoulders relax, and a genuine smile, wide and unguarded, spreads over his face.

Flo returns once with their food, and Korkie assumes it must be the whole menu for how loaded up she is. There are nerf-burgers, of course, but also blue milkshakes, protato wedges, tip-yip wings tossed in agu-sauce. There’s a plate of steaming poppers, and crispy O-rings. Master Kenobi claims a whole plate of muja bites to himself, while Korkie makes a dash for the blimas and cava cake rolls. There’s frizzpop and ting, and Korkie doesn’t think for one second that his father would even consider letting him have a taste of tihaar so he takes the pop and asks for nothing else.

“I saw the holoreport on the battle on Castell,” he says later, after they’ve tucked away a respectable mountain of food and are picking at the last few protato chips. “They said you took the base with only one squadron.”

“Oh,” says the Jedi. “Did you receive the Gossam bead-braid I sent?”

“Yes, in one piece this time. And in school, we were reading the Armistice Proclamation of Enarc and I saw that you were one of the appointed witnesses.”

“Enarc? Oh, yes, I took advantage of its access to the Hydian while I was there. You got the stockings?”

“Mhm. And then I couldn’t find out anything about Felucia, but I figured out the lumi-sphere you sent me must have come from there. Or that sector, I suppose. The ‘net said that was a ‘decisive victory for the Republic,’ and I’m sure it must have been.”

“I don’t – I don’t quite recall Felucia.”

“Then they said they were sending you to Kiros, but I couldn’t find out anything about that, either. Was there victory on Kiros, master?”

“Ah,” says Master Kenobi. But he doesn’t say anything else. He tugs at his sleeve, picking at the hem of one cuff, his gaze sliding away from Korkie’s to watch the people lounging in other booths or teetering on their stools at the bar. Korkie feels the loss of his attention acutely.

“Well, I assume there was,” he says. “I can’t imagine there’d be defeat. Not if you were there, anyway. I must’ve just missed the declaration. Or perhaps there were too many. It probably wasn’t that important, anyway. I don’t think you sent me anything from there – not that you have to. I don’t expect – anyway, that’s all one. Anyway…”

Master Kenobi shakes his head and smiles at him, attention focused once more. But this smile feels forced, and Korkie feels like a burden.

“Kiros was liberated,” says Master Kenobi.

“Oh, good,” says Korkie. “Of course. I had no doubt you – and I didn’t mean anything by –”

“Not at all,” he says. “We were not there long. I’m afraid I didn’t have a chance to find you anything of worth.”

“It doesn’t have to be of worth,” Korkie says.

“Well, we weren’t there very long, and I –” He tugs at his sleeve again, but this time he winces. Korkie’s gaze follows the movement but now he sees more than he did before. What he’d thought was the skin-tight sleeve of an undergarment is actually a web of bandages wound around Master Kenobi’s wrist, and though his father is quick to pull the cuff back into place, he is not quick enough to hide the blossom of pink that has stained even the topmost layer of wrappings.

“You – you’re bleeding,” he says.

“Yes, I –” But he says nothing else. There is nothing to say.

All the things that Korkie had wanted to talk about, all the things he had wanted to tell him but was still working up the courage to mention, all of it evaporates in the face of the tight-lipped man before him. He doesn’t look glowing or golden. He looks wan and waxy, washed out under weak yellow lights, the pink stain darkening to red then black beneath his sleeve.

He is not a untouchable hero. He is not an invincible shoulder. He is not a saviour, or a saint, or a god. He is horrifyingly – humiliatingly – mortal.

He is a stranger, Korkie thinks. I don’t know him. For all that he has his eyes and his hair, for all that he has seen his face on every holoscreen, on every frequency for years, for all that he has followed his exploits and studied his gifts, and tried and tried and tried to know him…he doesn’t.

This man is a stranger. He doesn’t know how to make him laugh, or frown. He doesn’t know what will goad him into action, or urge him into consideration. He doesn’t know what he eats, or drinks, or how he takes his tea – if he even likes it. He doesn’t know at all what to say. And Master Kenobi says nothing to him, either. Perhaps there is nothing between them.

“It’s getting late,” says the Jedi. “I’ll comm Bail to bring you home.”

–

The lights are on, but his aunt is asleep when he lets himself into their apartment. She’s slumped in a chair near the door, still dressed in her shimmersilk with flowers in her hair. The fabric glimmers in the starlight peering through the window, and the rippling headlamps of the passing airtraffic.

Korkie goes to wake her, to let her know he’s home safe, but he stops before his fingertips graze her cheek, looking at her. Really looking.

Her skin is pale, and soft. He knows how the inside of her forearm feels beneath his palm when he presses there. He knows the weight of her shoulder when she leans into him to mutter a joke beneath her breath. He knows the warmth of her lips upon his brow, the tug of her fingers through his hair. He has memorised the beat of her heart, and he holds his breath now to hear it. They are so close, and it is so quiet, and he knows her so well he imagines he does. Or maybe it’s his own heart thumping softly in his ears.

He exhales, and looks away. Dawn is liming the edges of the buildings in bloody golds.

“Auntie,” he whispers. Satine jolts awake, alert but instantly calmed when she sees his face. Korkie smiles. “You ought to go to bed.”

“Yes,” she says with a yawn. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m alright,” he says. “See you in the morning.”

She stumbles off to her room, still half asleep, but Korkie doesn’t go to his. Instead, he sits in her chair and watches the sun rise.

–

The next day, he doesn’t leave when the Convocation Chamber is opened for debate. He goes with his aunt, and he stands behind her. When she speaks, he watches as the whole of the galaxy listens. She argues her reasons, and states her position, and though generals and kings and warlords and even the Chancellor try their advance, she gives them no ground.

She is dressed in her regalia. The mythosaur tusks hang like daggers from her ears. The collar of her gown bursts outward like a blade, her purple shift glinting like arterial blood. Her voice is like iron, and her spine is as stiff and straight as beskar. She is a guardian. A sovereign. The Duchess of Mandalore.

He is hers.

And she will always be his.

#my fic #korkie kenobi #korkie kryze #obi-wan kenobi #satine kryze #prompt fic #sw

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lordfrezon · 22 days ago

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It’s 2025

Video games were absolute fire last year

Let’s go over those.

I played a lot of indie games this year and overall think that’s the best strategy for finding enjoyment now and in the years to come. The mainstream games industry is absolutely a mess, with new layoffs happening every other week it felt like. Indie studios aren’t doing much better, but your money is a lot more appreciated there so it also lets you feel good too. Plus, they’re doing better things than most of the AAA studios. Case in point...

#1 1000xRESIST

I wrote about this one a few months back, but tl;dr, it’s a walking simulator with some insane themes and incredibly good voice acting. I again urge you to try it without learning too much about the game because the way it emotionally connects is so satisfying to engage with. Gameplay-wise, it’s not stellar, but in terms of story and emotional impact there hasn’t been a better game in years.

#2 Armored Core 6

What a triumph of fun. This is a game that sticks you in front of speed demons, dozens of machines out for your blood, an apocalyptically tall walker, a hundreds of feet long mecha-worm, and you know from minute one it’s your time to shine. You are the best there is and everyone knows it and when the bad guys realize who they’re messing with the comms are just amazing. This is effectively an Ace Combat game in story and a frenetic action game in gameplay and it was a blast. It takes a special game to get me to play it three times in a row but this did the trick.

#3 Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree

Fromsoft has been on a tear of late, and the DLC to Elden Ring does not disappoint. It was an incredible experience exploring this new world that felt just as big and mysterious as the original. It’s not perfect, there’s some glaring difficulty issues, finding things is pretty hard, and the Soulslike issue of needing a wiki open is on full display, but there’s not much bad I can say about how it makes you feel like the god-slaying champion you know you are. Also, I praised voice acting above, but the English VA for Igon not getting nominated for anything is a travesty.

#4 Signalis

If there was ever a game that was gonna make me trans this would be it. But beyond that it’s a very spooky horror experience with excellent theming and story, also just gorgeous imagery and an OST that hits hard. Very good game.

#5 Sucker for Love: Date to Die For

It’s more sucker for love, it’s silly, it’s not as spooky as 1 but it’s a good short time. Really liked the ending and there’s more gameplay too.

Interlude: Stuff I’ve played before

Like most years I replayed some games. Some of those were better than others. Let’s talk about that fast

Project Wingman: DLC came out for PC, it’s good, the final boss fight is absolutely insane. This is like the 10 Million Relief Plan DLC for AC7 but for a good game. Highly recommend the base game (obviously) as well as the DLC.

Path of Exile: This year had the absolute best league for PoE ever, for one simple reason: in game trading. I was able to dump/pick up currency and basic items at a moment’s notice. I picked up the best items in the game because I felt encouraged to keep playing the same character for over 200 hours. That’s some real shit right there. Wish there was a sequel to this game.

Ace Combat 04: I think I just play this one yearly at this point, it’s still incredible, highly recommend emulating it.

ULTRAKILL: P-Ranked Violence, game still great

Katana Zero: I come in intending to do one mission and end up beating the game, still great, DLC never

Warframe: Several new updates that were decent, 1999 which was good. Warframe remains a perfectly serviceable 7.5/10 game for when you need that.

Last Epoch: The game is out(ish) and still fine. But PoE was better this year. I’ll be back when the story is done.

League of Legends: I think I may finally be done with this game. I haven’t played since August and frankly it’s not looking like I’ll return. Their monetization has gotten more predatory (somehow), the gameplay is worse, and they show no signs of fixing longstanding issues. I haven’t uninstalled but I don’t think that’s far on the horizon.

#6 Fallen Aces

An immersive sim set in an alternate 1920s-30s where there’s costumed heroes and villains about. Think Watchmen pre-Dr. Manhattan. It’s good, not fully out but I spent a good amount of time playing through the first chapter.

#7 Kinki Spiritual Affairs Bureau

It is very janky but the story is great and it’s pretty funny. You’re an exorcist who goes to this village, ghosts appear, and you pull out an M-16. Good times ensue. Echoes of Call of Duty and Metal Gear are all over, but the game’s world feels original and it’s a good length at 5 hours.

#8 Severed Steel

Another in the line of SuperHot/Katana Zero/Ghostrunner. It’s fun, not too long, and has a lot of custom stuff if you want more.

#9 Balatro

This is a fun timesink. But it’s no Vampire Survivors. That said, if you often find yourself with some spare time you could use to game, there’s a mobile version and it’s pretty easy to pick up/put down.

#10 Ctrl Alt Ego

I mentioned this last year as something I had real high hopes for, and in general 90% of the game meets that expectation. But the last level left such a bad taste in my mouth that it dropped my overall opinion of the game significantly. That said, a lot of fun to be had here in this very British-style humor scifi immersive sim.

Interlude: Things I tried/Demos

I also tried a bunch of games. Some I’m waiting for a full release, some I’m waiting for the fancy to strike me to pick up more fully.

Of the Devil: Only the demo is out now but this game looks great, has excellent characters, and can get tense as hell. Eagerly awaiting the full release of episode 1.

Hades 2: Most of the game is out but it’s missing the story which is the main reason I played Hades 1 so waiting for this to be done, but if you dig good gameplay this has it in spades. Also has a spade.

Echo Point Nova: By the same guy(s?) who did Severed Steel, a movement shooter with some real cool world design. Definitely one I need to finish.

Animal Well: Another one I will need to finish. Very interesting game, a lot of style, but also kinda confusing? Regardless, there’s a lot of love here and it’s well worth the low price.

Pacific Drive: Very atmospheric, but not enough to do, and it’s a base builder which I’ve got mixed feelings about. But if you want to take an old car through The Zone Stalker, this is certainly that.

Children of the Sun: Stylish but didn’t jive with the core gameplay. You’re a kid escaping from a cult, you also are a sniper with the ability to curve the bullet.

Still Wakes the Deep: An Amnesia-like game, where you’re a very Scottish guy on a very VERY Scottish oil rig that pulled up Something Which Must Not Be Seen from the ocean. I played an hourish, realized I knew what the game was doing, and was like “ok we good”. But if you like that style of game this is a good one.

Other stuff I started and will come back to... eventually: Divinity Original Sin 2; BURGGEIST; Void Stranger; Tunic; Return of the Obra Dinn; Picayune Dreams; No Man’s Sky

#11 Nine Sols

I understand why people love this game. I did for a while too. But it is far too unforgiving at base difficulty, punishes you for lowering the difficulty, and has a lot of really dumb sections where you’re not fighting enemies but your own ability to interact with the game. After running into a mandatory stealth section, I closed it up and uninstalled. If you like Sekiro style combat give it a shot, it looks wonderful and the story/worldbuilding are cool as hell, but the gameplay really can grind.

#12 Path of Exile 2 Sigh... Guess I’ll talk about it.

This was a pretty big disappointment. The design direction of GGG suggested that they’d be slowing the game down but they just made it feel grindier and less fun. Combine that with the fact that a lot of core power is just locked away behind super rare resources/insanely difficult challenges and that the game isn’t finished, I played 20ish hours and realized I was not into it. I’ll finish when the entire campaign drops but for now, I’m not into it.

That about wraps it up. A lot of very very good stuff got played this year, and my to-play list is still super long. In the past couple days I’ve started playing like 4 new things that all rock so expect a similarly long list next year. Hopefully we get Silksong.

#video game review #video games #goty

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callsignspark · 1 year ago

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he truly is the sweetest, most considerate non-boyfriend-boyfriend ever! it was so fun to write their relationship and show how it's progressing even though they're literally an ocean apart! I can't wait to show a little snippet of their FaceTime call, and when we get to learn what she sent in Bradley's package!

edit from 10/13: I'm so sorry, I forgot to hit post on this omg

oh this hurts so bad!!! i can actually visualize this so clearly? like the look on both of their faces, especially their eyes? personification of 🥺 the hug def lasted a longer time than anyone else’s AND you know bradley definitely smelled her hair/nuzzled her? i can’t wait till they see each other on facetime, i know they’re gonna have the biggest smiles on their faces - they cuddled together so close!! (he pressed his nose directly into her hair, trying to memorize her perfume) everyone was honestly surprised they didn't kiss (especially those few people that actually know they kissed already!) there was a "just do it already!" vibe from the group lmao

HAHAHAHAHA DRAG HER ASS FLORA!! like come on mary we all know! - Flora "who are you trying to fool" Phillips, everyone! they're not close friends (yet) but after hearing Nat and Jake talk about them, even she's like, girl just fuck him already.

i love that he got her a new sweater - i know he sprung for the cashmere! and having it smell like him is such a sweet gesture too! - he did! he got a nice quality sweater and he put so much thought into it!

oh sweet girl 🥺 i totally see both sides of this (not that their are sides!), but like yes totally makes sense that mav would be bradley’s primary contact, like they just kissed for the first time haha, but also!? mary you’re def on the list and i like to think she’s been on the list for awhile - she's not on the official list (see first kiss just happened) but Mav knows that she would be his second call if something were to happen! he would make sure she knew from him, and not from gossip or rumors. Mav is a good uncle 🥺

COME ON FLORA!!!! like i get it, you’ve got a lot of shit going on! but i’m just dying about him knowing exactly which pie she wanted and everything!! - he couldn't be there to make the pie for her in the competition he proposed in December so he did the next best thing! he knows apple was her favorite and they both love Sift Bakery - it was a no-brainer! (Flora felt bad, but after she and Mary talk post-FT call she knows she's not in trouble!)

IT IS!! it’s really stinkin sweet indeed!! and i like that he spent so much time picking everything? like i’m so ready for the bit about the dried flowers later - he's such a sweetheart!!! he had an idea of what he wanted and Flora helped him execute it so well!! ("You know if you want something big like this, it's going to be like $80, right?" / *slaps down credit card* "Okay. You take American Express?") and the dried flowers??? that will be a moment. that will be The Moment™

mary you could email him every hour, every minute and it still wouldn’t be too much - exactly!! he gave her his email address for a reason! she sends something about once a day (sometimes 2-3 times depending on what's happening) and when they leave comms blackout his heart flutters at how many messages she's sent! (some of my favorite email lines from the entire deployment: I miss you [2:54 AM], Slider showed me more baby photos - you're so cute [5:18 PM], you're the sweetest man in the world [three images attached, 7:25 PM], I got Panera for lunch, I hope you're having a good day [12:13 PM], three days until you're home!! I miss you, Bradley. all my love - Mary [8:47 AM])

the happiness radiating off them??? that she can’t believe bradley wants her!?! and then the card making everything okay?? i’m so jealous of her honestly - she really lucked out with a wonderful man. bitch. I wish I could draw so I could show just how cute the photo is!!!!

I haven’t left yet but I already miss you. - what if i killed myself? like this is absolutely the softest thing? it reminds me of a line from a movie or tv show or book that’s escaping me at the moment! and like bradley has never had someone to miss like this before?? - this made me CACKLE. he took inspiration from all the romcoms his mom used to make him watch, and boy did he deliver. softest man in the world!!

Love, Bradley - i’m SCREAMING!?!! he is the sweetest boy in the entire world!! i can’t wait till they talk on facetime (also i need them to say it for the first time in person 🤭) - HE'S SO SWEET!! the facetime is going to be so cute!!! (them saying love you out loud to each other for the first time???? you already know how it happens but ohhh boy is it a doozy!!!)

Mar[r]y Me - part 8.5

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, discussions of body image, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, extreme fluff, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 2.3k

previous part | series masterlist | main masterlist

note: happy Friday! this is a short but sweet one! see here for my soft-tober announcement and here for a quick update on what's happening in the month of October! have a great weekend!

part 8.5 - McDonald's apple pie

“Don’t get any ideas.”

“I’d never dream of it!”

Mary snuggles deeper into the couch as Pierce Brosnan - her favorite James Bond - races through the streets of Ho Chi Minh City on a motorcycle with Michelle Yeoh handcuffed to his wrist. Her chest hurts; tight from an overwhelming urge to cry and a tiredness she can’t quite shake no matter how much she’s been sleeping lately.

The day had been spent with Danielle and the kids, and it had been fun. They had gone to the beach and gotten Thai food for dinner, the adults devouring pad thai while Annabeth watched Frozen again. It was nice; she loved her family, but she missed Bradley.

More than she thought she would.

They didn’t get a chance to properly say goodbye. He had received a hug and the same “be safe, see you in two months” as everyone else. There wasn’t a spare second to sneak away and kiss him goodbye; there was always someone near them the entire time.

All she could do was slip a good luck note into the palm of his hand and hug him for an extra second longer than anyone else. It was hardly anything, but he still gave her a big smile and a sneaky forehead kiss, whispering that his peanut butter bites were safely stored at the bottom of his pack.

For the millionth time since she sat with Mav in her office and they watched the carrier steam away, Mary wonders where Bradley is. Thanks to her security clearance, she knows he's floating somewhere in the Pacific, but nothing more.

Maybe he’ll come back with an even deeper tan.

Somehow, Bradley is always sort of tan, even in January. Yes, they live in California, where it’s beach weather year-round, but it’s like he was born with a built-in base layer of golden skin.

Bond is just about to magically escape from another precarious situation he’s gotten himself into when the doorbell rings. Mary peeks over the top of the couch, trying to figure out who could be at her front door. Her family is in New York, Slider went back to Pensacola last week, and the majority of people she knows in California are also in the middle of the ocean with Bradley.

The bell rings again, whoever it is knocking this time. She sighs - they’re not going away - and frees herself from her perfectly crafted blanket burrito, a poor substitution for the pair of strong arms she’s missing.

Carefully peeking through the side window, she’s surprised to find Flora standing there and quickly opens the door, a blur of red and pink taking over her vision.

“Happy birthday!” Flora yells, shoving an enormous floral arrangement in her face.

“Than- thank you?”

Mary tentatively grabs the vase, taken off guard, as Flora walks in and slips her clogs off. Dropping her huge L.L. Bean tote bag on the dining room table, Flora laughs at how Mary is frozen at the front door, flowers hiding her torso but not her confused face.

“Here, give me those, and you open this.” Flora pulls a box out of her Mary Poppins-sized bag and takes the vase back. She carefully places the arrangement on the island, fiddling with the stems so they look perfect.

“What is happening?”

“Well, your boyfriend came into my shop about three weeks ago and asked me if I would do him a favor. He was so sweet and pathetic; I couldn’t help but say yes.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Funny.” Flora hums, eyebrow arching in disbelief. “I didn’t say a name, but you knew who I was talking about.”

Mary flushes, the tips of her ears on fire as she tries to stutter out an excuse.

“It’s okay, Mary.” Flora takes pity on her. “I know it’s complicated, but let’s face it, that man would do anything for you. Which is why I’m here, on a Sunday night, with gifts.”

“Gifts?” Mary echoes. “Plural?”

“Mmhm. First up, a floral arrangement full of warm tones because “red is her favorite color, but all red would probably be overbearing” - which is a direct quote.”

“They’re beautiful, Flora.”

“He did a good job, and he deserves a reward for understanding that flowers are expensive and you can’t cheap out if you want a nice, big bouquet. Next is the box.” She slides the brown box across the table, fluffing the ribbon curls on top. “I have no idea what’s in that one.”

Mary carefully opens the ribbons tied around the box, her throat tightening when she takes the lid off. At the top is a notecard with Bradley’s handwriting.

She pulls the sweater out of the box, and her eyes start to water as she holds it up for Flora to see. It’s a light yellow, almost the same shade as the stick of butter softening on her counter, practically identical to the one sitting in her closet, a red stain still covering the front. The material is so soft she can’t help but press her face into it, tears escaping as Bradley’s cologne washes over her.

Fuck. I miss him so much.

This was anticipated; she knows how sad Dani can get during Reuben’s deployments. Knows how sad she would get when her best friend was gone for months. It’s only been two weeks, but it’s the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other. Even during the rough patch in January, they still got glimpses of each other at work. The worst part is not knowing how he’s doing. If he’s okay. She assumes he is; Mav hadn’t mentioned anything, and she’s pretty sure he would tell her.

It would be the only way she would find out. Mary isn’t naïve enough to believe that she would be a first-tier point of contact if he got hurt. They haven’t even gone on a date yet, and the only time they kissed was that day in her office.

She’s pulled out of the impending spiral by a gentle hand rubbing her shoulders, which she didn’t realize were shaking. She lets herself be comforted by Flora, the older woman pulling her into a hug, uncaring about the tears staining her shirt.

“Sorry.” Mary sniffles, pulling back after a minute to wipe her eyes. “I just really miss him, more than I thought I would.”

“It’s okay, I get it.”

“That’s right. I forgot about Jake.”

She realizes she said something wrong by the way Flora’s hand goes stiff on her back.

“Jake and I are not together.”

“Oh. He just- when we were talking, he kinda implied that the two of you were sort of seeing each other.”

“We’ve fucked a few times, we're not together.”

Mary blinks at her. Jake had never said anything about sex; he was lamenting that Flora didn’t want to see a movie he was excited about. Sad that the florist wouldn’t join him.

“Jake, I mean, I don’t know Flora very well, but I gotta say she doesn’t really seem like a zombie apocalypse kinda girl.” Mary gently soothed, trying to give equal attention to her email inbox and the mopey Texan. “Why don’t you find a movie you’ll both like?”

“I tried! She doesn’t want to go to the movies at all. I know she’s busy - like she runs a whole ass business all by herself - but it’s like she doesn’t even care that we’re gonna be gone for two months!”

“Did you tell her that you want to spend time together before you leave?”

“No. We’re just- that’s not-” Jake sighs, cut off by Mary’s phone.

They had never finished their conversation; Jake had a hop and Mary a meeting, and a few days later, he was shipping out alongside Bradley.

“Okay. I’m sorry, he didn’t mention that, so I must have misunderstood.”

“You probably didn’t.” Flora rolls her eyes. “Jake likes to talk like we’re together, but I’ve told him several times a relationship is not what I’m looking for from him.”

“Can I ask why?” She quickly backtracks when the other woman’s face scrunches up. “Oh my god, you absolutely don’t have to say anything. I wasn’t trying to push.”

“No, you’re fine. Jake is a great guy. He’s smart and funny and handsome, but we want different things in life. Things that can’t be compromised on and that I won’t ever change my mind about. So there’s really no reason for us to try anything serious. I told him that before they deployed, but I’m officially breaking it off when they’re back because I’m not sure he got the hint.”

“That makes sense; that’s probably the best way to go about it.” She nods, impressed by how strong Flora is in her conviction and a bit sad at the same time. Those two would be great.

“Sucks, though. He’s incredible in bed.”

Mary lets out a bark of laughter at the complete 180 in conversation. “That surprises me and doesn’t surprise me all at the same time.”

“It’s that atrocious arrogance of his, isn’t it?”

“Yes! An ego like that means a man is either totally overcompensating, or he knows he’s good, and he’s got the moves to prove it.”

“Oh, he’s got the moves. Believe me.” They laugh at the eyebrow wiggle that accompanies Flora’s words.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta know. That ridiculous Texas accent he pulls out when he’s trying to charm someone-”

“-does he use it in bed? More frequently than you would imagine.”

“Okay… but, like, does it do it for you?”

“I plead the Fifth,” Flora says as she furiously nods.

“Stop! Wait! And the cowboy hat?”

She laughs harder, tears in her eyes as she gasps, “Both of us!”

“You’ve both worn it?!”

Flora’s confirmation makes them both howl with laughter, Mary bending over and holding onto the table for support. It takes a few minutes for them to calm down, wiping tears away as they catch their breath.

“Well, that’s got to be the least shocking thing I’ve learned about Jake.”

It makes them both start giggling again; the blonde man’s affinity for his home state is well-known, frequently coming up in conversation.

“I should get going. I have to be up early to set up for a funeral. But I have one more thing for you, well, two things.” Flora dips back into her bag, pulling out a brown paper bag and a square envelope. “From Bradley.”

“McDonald’s?”

“Well, he requested I get you an apple pie - it had to be an apple pie - from Sift, but by the time I got there this afternoon, all their pies were gone. So I improvised, and thankfully, Mickey D’s had just done a fresh batch.”

“Apple pie is my favorite.” Mary quietly says, peeking into the bag and seeing five pie boxes. “Thank you for doing this, Flora.”

“It’s no problem. Bradley was so cute when he came in; I couldn’t help but agree. It’s sweet how much he cares about you.”

“I’m starting to understand how much he really does.” A content feeling settles in her chest, warming her up from the cold sadness that was taking over earlier.

Only 60 more days until Bradley is home.

“You’ll probably want to warm those up before you eat them,” Flora says, slipping her shoes back on, getting ready to leave.

“Hey, we're having a girls' night and putting together care packages for the Daggers next week. You should come, you can help with Nat’s box. Plus, it’s great to have extra hands to help put them together.”

“That sounds fun; I’d love to join you guys.” She opens the door and hesitates for a second, turning back to Mary. “No one knows about me and Jake hooking up. I didn’t tell Nat because she wouldn’t understand, and I don’t think he’s told anyone either. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“No problem. I’m always here to talk if you want some fairly neutral input.”

“Fairly neutral?”

She shrugs. “I know he can be an idiot, but Jake is a good guy, and he’s also my friend, so I can’t be completely unbiased about him. Fairly neutral is the best I can offer.”

“Fair enough.” Flora smiles at her, yelling back as she walks down the steps. “We should grab dinner sometime! Have a good night!”

“Night!” Mary waves, happier than she’s been since the beginning of the month.

She locks the door after making sure Flora gets into her car safely, promising herself that she’ll reach out to friends more. No more moping around, being sad that Bradley is gone.

I’ve got to learn how to deal with this if we’re going to date. It’s not like he’s going to leave the Navy; he’s going to be gone.

Snapping photos of her presents, she starts mentally composing the thank you email she’s going to send to Bradley. The Lincoln is on a communications blackout for the first three weeks of the cruise, but she’s been sending him little updates. Letting him know when she’s thinking of him, hoping she isn’t filling up his inbox too much.

She plops back into her favorite corner of the couch, stretching out on the chaise that makes her get a little hot under the collar every time she sits on it.

“Let’s read this card.” She mumbles to herself around a bite of pie as Bond saves the world and gets the girl.

A photo flutters out of the envelope as she pulls the card out, and she loses her breath when she flips it over. It’s the two of them on Valentine’s Day. When she made him pancakes, the photo he said he was going to tape up in his bunk.

A promise he followed through on, his last text showing off his rack. Corners of the blue blanket neatly tucked in, and the photo of the two of them taped on the wall right next to his pillow. Mary looks at the photo he printed for her, smiling at the happiness radiating from both of them. The corners of their eyes crinkled, and her dimple popping out; she still can’t quite believe that Bradley Bradshaw wants her, of all people.

Then she reads the card, and her insecurities quiet down for the night.

if you would like to be added (or removed) from the tag list please send an ask!

fic tag | credit for dividers here

#thanks for reading <3 #comment reblog

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for SBI Sibling!Parrot Hybrid!Reader

(A/N): ope, went a little overboard with this one (also it’s not proofread, so sorry about any mistakes)

You have wings on your back (the feather pattern depends on what parrot floats your boat)

If you’re a Scarlet Macaw, Blue-and-Yellow Macaw, or Chestnut-Fronted Macaw, then you have black lines on your cheeks and heavy black lines around your eyes (think Hawks from bnha but less pointy)

If you are a Hyacinth Macaw, you have yellow markings around your eyes and mouth

If you’re a cockatiel, you have a killer mohawk/hair that is always very pointy and orange circles on your cheeks (how cute!)

I have a feeling that your hair is incredibly soft

Very sensitive wings

I feel like your teeth would be sharp and your nails would normally be fast-growing, long, and sharp

You tilt your head like impossibly far when you’re confused or trying to hear something better

Like your ear would almost be touching your shoulder

The head movements are very jerky and kinda just happen on their own when you hear something so you would have a lot of neck pain : (

You’re allergic to chocolate : (

I feel like people would underestimate you greatly and think you’re nothing except the ditzy comedic relief

Parrots are actually very intelligent

It bums you out to hear people say things like that behind your back when they think you can’t hear, but you try to not let them get to you

You give the best cuddles and are very affectionate with the people you’re close to (you’re also very cautious of strangers)

You’re also very in tune with the emotions of the people around you

You see someone sad? Head nuzzles and wing hugs

You see someone angry? You deescalate the situation the best you can and make sure they’re ok afterwards

You can dilate and contract your pupils rapidly at will

You may or may not stare at people doing it until they notice you staring or until they get creeped out

You fuck hard with any type of seed, nut, or fruit

When you get excited, it’s literally so cute??

Like you do everything parrots do

Little happy pitter patters with your feet, flutter your wings, your pupils contract and dilate rapidly, you make a ton of mob sounds

You’re easily excitable, hyper, and happy most of the time

It makes everyone happy to see you so excited so they would often go out of their way to get you things that make you happy

“Hey (y/n) I have some extra melon seeds if you want em!”

*Pupils contract and dilate rapidly*

You are loud

Like very loud

And very talkative

Like everyone knows where you are at all times

If you’re quiet and they know you’re around, either something is very wrong or they’re about to get pranked

God forbid you start to scream, your scream is loud enough to deafen someone for a brief amount of time and would leave everyone’s ears ringing for days on end

The mere mention of yours and Tommy's names together in one sentence is enough to give Philza a headache (someone give this poor man a couple of advils and a long vacation)

You two are literal demons when you’re together

Very chaotic relationship

You both like to fuck with people by sneaking up behind them

You would make mob sounds and Tommy would jump them before you two made a break for it

You and Tommy almost got killed by Techno a few times, but in your opinion the look on his face was 100% worth it every time

I feel like you would cart him up and down from the towers he builds

He could relate to being stereotyped as the stupid loud one, so he recognizes right away when you’re sad about it and will try to cheer you up

His main go to is the jukebox

Oh my god if he plays his jukebox around you, you go full send with your dancing

*AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING*

He would laugh at your awful dancing, but he would join you eventually

Cat and Mellohi go hard

Speaking of music, Wilbur uses you as a walking soundboard

He needs a sound sample? You better prepare for spending most of your day recreating the sound

He needs back up vocals? You spend most of your day listening to his voice and other singers so you could replicate it

You don’t want to disappoint him so you try extra hard to appease his picky music composition

You kinda stress yourself out over it sometimes

When he notices (which he will, he’s very perceptive), he immediately calls it a day and has some sibling bonding time

You both bond over liking to eat strange things

Amazon macaws like to lick clay deposits on riverbanks so you like to have some on you at all times to lick when you get stressed

Wilbur carries some in a bag in his pocket and you carry a bag of sand

Whenever one of you notices the other has a rough day, you give each other your respective stuff

You have to be sneaky with it though, Philza always takes away nonedible stuff from his children if he sees them trying to eat it (he has good intentions tho)

It always looks like a drug deal

With Techno, I feel like he would find you incredibly annoying at first with how loud you are

He would actually start to hate you when you started to sneak up behind him

It got to the point to whenever he would hear your voice he would get irrationally mad and have to leave the house for a few hours

He, like everyone outside your family, would think you were useless and incredibly stupid

That was until he passed Tommy’s room one day and overheard you crying and telling Tommy about your insecurities

He would spend the next few days ignoring you bc he felt bad

He would spend those days contemplating on why he treated you like he did

Coming to the realization that you were likely trying to get closer to him and you were just being yourself, making him feel like the biggest piece of shit

He totally had no idea how to confront you about this, so naturally he went to Philza (that man was literally so happy that his children were gonna start to get along)

He would spend the day gathering golden melons because he found out that you’d never tried golden melons before from Philza

When he approached you one day with an apology and some golden melons, you were suspicious at first

He hated you, so why would he get you these things if he didn’t need anything from you?

Quickly finding that his apology is genuine and he felt incredibly bad for treating you like that over the years

You picked up on his guilt pretty quickly and made quick work to reassure him

He would take you on short trips and would soon find that you’re very useful in detecting mobs and deterring creepers with cat noises

He would never admit it, but he loves it when you would scare Tommy or Wilbur, thinking it’s hilarious

You also found out that carrying a seven and a half foot tall piglin hybrid was incredibly difficult to do, especially when flying

You two managed to get only about ten feet above the ground before your wings gave out under the strain and you fell on him

“(Y/n) has earned the achievement ‘When Pigs Fly’” flashed on everyone’s comm tablets that day

That wasn’t fun trying to explain to Philza

Philza would be ecstatic to have someone to fly with that he didn’t have to carry

He would take you on flights when you had too much energy

Sometimes racing each other and competing to do tricks midair (which sometimes you both rope your brothers into judging)

Late night flights when you need to get your mind off from something

Watching the sunrise together in silence for once

Bonding over being able to see ultraviolet light when everyone else couldn’t

You always give him the shiny things you come across and he gives you your favorite snacks

He always fusses over your wings, sometimes preening them for you

Helping each other through molts

Matches your excitement sometimes when you’re really happy

You feel bad whenever you hear stories of how difficult you were as a baby

He’s quick to reassure you that raising you was worth it and you turned out to be a great person

But he wouldn’t be lying when he said you were a difficult infant

Your terrible twos stage? His literal hell

Philza swears he can still hear ringing from whenever you would throw tantrums as a toddler, even years after you left your toddler age

He also still has some scars from when you went through your biting phase (teething was awful for you, his poor baby)

But he’s happy he was the one that raised you, he genuinely enjoys your presence

If you’re in a really affectionate mood he is more than willing to let you cuddle up to him while he reads a book or something

WING HUGS WING HUGS WING HUGS WIN-

When he’s had a long day and is stressed out, you immediately pick up on that and do everything in your power to make sure your brothers are quiet and behaved, try to find out what made him so stressed, and sometimes go out of your way to take care of it for him

You try to be the one taking care of him for once as much because he’s taken care of you so well throughout the years

He can tell if you’re overwhelmed or upset just with one glance at your ruffled feathers and your rapidly dilating and contracting pupils

Immediately pulling you out of the situation and letting you talk it out

Whenever he finds you sad about your insecurities, he points out every part of your personality that he loves

That’s before he hunts down the person that made you feel like this (he really lives up to his title of ‘The Angel of Death’)

Overall, you wouldn’t trade your family for the world

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #headcanons

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

Text

Systems’ Scourge

I am no Jedi.

She says the words every time someone questions the sabers. She says it, day in, day out, and tells herself to believe it. She says it, and word spreads, because this way her actions don’t reflect on the Republic.

She was kicked out of the Order because she was framed for terrorism.

It’s all she does now, technically. She’s a terrorist, by some definition, even if her chosen targets are slavers and drugs lords.

Her actions must not reflect on the Republic.

“General.”

She turns away from the transparisteel, away from the blur of hyperspace, and into the arms of the man she trusts above all others.

“Almost there?” she asks.

“Another hour,” Rex confirms. He waits until she steps to join him, brushing their shoulders together as they walk through the ship, beskar to durasteel.

(Bo-Katan hadn’t necessarily liked her very much, but she’d had her own strange code of honor. She chose her payments, but she ensured compensation when and where she could. And so it went: beskar for the girl without a home who helped Mandalore, even as it almost killed her.)

(The boys... well. They haven’t been able to afford proper durasteel and beskar alloy armor for everyone yet, but they’re working on it.)

We are not Mando’ade.

“Kix got back to me,” he says. “We running low on bacta again.”

“Do we still have the funds from Zygerria?”

“More than.”

“Approved,” she says, and he laughs. She rolls her eyes. “You already handled it, didn’t you?”

“Of course, cyar’e.”

She doesn’t outrank him anymore. They are equals, in this and all things. He can approve anything she can. The only time she has authority is when they’re playing roles for the underworld.

The only time he has authority is when it comes to Kamino.

“What ate it up this time?” she asks instead.

“Had a few new arrivals,” he says. “Nobody you knew, mostly shinies. Fives is helping them adjust to being alive again.”

“Echo isn’t helping?”

“Migraines.”

“I see,” she says, and casts her eyes across the corridors. Strangely empty. “I’m assuming you’re leading me somewhere?”

“Jesse wants to give you a cultural debrief before we land.”

“We’ve been to Serenno,” she says, frowning heavily. “Dooku knows us. Does Jesse think he’s already fallen and we need to readjust? I didn’t think he was anywhere close last time we checked in.”

“He’s got visitors,” Rex says, grimacing. “From the Trade Federation.”

Oh, lovely. “He does realize the galaxy knows my face at this point, right? Isn’t he worried about the Federation getting word to Republic that the Count is hosting the terrorist they’ve spent two years fearing and hunting?”

Rex shrugs. “I think Jesse might be planning a disguise.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Great. Just love the smell of cosmetics.”

"Only a few hours,” he assures her.

“Yeah, yeah,” she sighs, and decides to switch the topic. “The shinies, all 501st?”

“Affirmative.”

“And still no other GAR ships on the comms?”

“None yet.” He’s as unhappy about it as she is. She doesn’t even after feel out along the bond. He’s still holding out hope for a Marshall Commander that didn’t live long enough to see Order 66 hit. She’s still hoping for almost any Jedi that remembers the war, instead of the pleasant strangers that call her Dark.

I am no Jedi, she tells them, even as their faces shade towards confusion at her white blades. She is not Fallen, and it shows in her kyber. They don’t know what to make of her.

“Republic might start building their own army soon,” she says instead. It’s an old refrain. They both know Kuat is building ships to match their precious Venator. The Survivor, she’d named it, unable to figure out which broken vessel had been given to her in this time she’d never lived. “We need allies, not just Dooku’s bankrolling. Has Fett--”

“No,” Rex says, short and grim. “Denal got close, we think, but he said he’s not going to talk to dar’manda that take orders from a Jedi.”

Lots wrong with that sentence.

“Didn’t get him to look anyone’s face?” she guesses.

“Not enough time,” Rex says. “Denal says it was a firefight. Couldn’t risk taking a helmet off.”

“And without the faces, nobody could get him to listen anything else,” she concludes. “You’d think he would have seen the wanted posters.”

“Think he’s of the opinion that if it walks like a Jedi, talks like a Jedi, carries a saber like a Jedi...”

She rolls her eyes. “So we’re back to square one, looking to hire on new soldiers that someone’s going to have to train, that we’ll have to convince Dooku to help pay for when we can’t appropriate funds from the Hutts, that probably won’t measure up to clone standards or have any sense of how to work with you, and will be security risks.”

“About sums it up, sir.”

She shoots him a look. “You’re making fun of me.”

He grins, easy as anything. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Sir.”

She bumps her fist into the metal on his upper arm. “Remind me why I married you?”

“Well, we were pretty kriffed up,” Rex fake-muses. “Pretty sure the trauma was a big part of it.”

“Of course.”

“And we can’t forget that time you started crying on me while we were making out.”

“No doubt.”

“And we’ve been friends for the better part of a decade now, so that’s going on the list.”

“I wouldn’t dream of not including our many years of shared horrors.”

“Or that Dooku kept asking when we were going to make things official.”

“I never should have told him I was part of his lineage,” she sighs, just as they reach the door to Jesse’s favorite Cultural Debrief room. There’s an old-school projector in there, and far more cosmetics and undercover costumes than the average person would expect. It’s a fun room.

Ahsoka turns and lifts up on her toes, just enough to press her lips to his. Rex tilts his head, presses back just a moment, and then pulls away. They grip each other’s forearms, and Ahsoka doesn’t shy away when he presses his forehead to hers.

“How much longer?” he asks.

It’s the same question, every time. She never has an answer.

She was raised to keep the peace. He was born to fight for it. Neither of them have ever truly known it.

She’s not sure they ever will.

“Jesse’s waiting,” she mutters, and pulls away. He matches her smile, small and tired, but meant only for the other. She turns to the door, takes a deep breath, and steps on through. “Okay, who are we preparing today, because I’m sure as hell not meeting Gunray as General Fulcrum.”

“We’re thinking Princess Ashla this time,” Jesse says, completely unruffled by the loud entrance. “Unless you want to play up the ‘Dooku’s adopted granddaughter�� thing. The Count might appreciate it.”

“Hard pass,” she says, dropping into the makeup chair. “Princess Ashla it is.”

I am no Jedi, and so I do what they cannot.

#Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Rexsoka #Ahsoka #Rex #star wars #the clone wars #Jesse #Count Dooku #Dooku #Phoenix Posts #time travel #'what the fuck is going on?' you ask #great question!#I don't know either #Well okay I actually know a lot #but to be fair the characters are about as confused as the readers

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years ago

Text

Unofficial Fathers

MAIN MASTERLIST

Avengers x Teen!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5,450ish

Requests: I put two requests together for this one. I hope that it’s okay.

1-What about one with the Avengers and reader (maybe they have super speed???) where the reader is a teenager and super stressed out for whatever reason so the Avengers decide to get them moving by doing something with water (like water guns, balloons, slide, etc) with them. Just like fluff, I think it’d be kinda cute

2-Can you write an avengers x teen!reader, where she lost function in both of her legs, which makes her really sad and depressed? The others have to help her with everything and she feels bad, so she ends up trying to do things herself, but gets hurt. Maybe steve and tony play a more significant role. Thanks!

Warnings: angst / fluff / paralysis / wishing to have died

“Hey Speedy!” Tony called over the comms. “You’re up!”

“Finally!” You exclaimed.

The mission had started almost an hour ago, and the plan had been for you to hang out in the quinjet until you were deemed needed. Which annoyed you. Even though you were barely 17, you had been a part of the Avengers for almost 3 years. Longer than even Peter Parker.

Due to some freak accident during the Battle of New York, you somehow ended up with super speed abilities. That’s how Steve and Tony found you almost 3 years old. The two were in the city for meetings and you were zooming around helping people and playing pranks. You thought it would be fun to do something to those two. But before you could do something, Tony and Steve had you pinned to the wall with part of the Iron Man suit. Apparently, their ‘meeting’ was to actually find you and bring you in.

The whole Team was interested in getting to know you very quickly and get you properly trained. Natasha, Clint, Bucky, and Steve handled your combat training personally, while Tony and Bruce tested your abilities and created gear that would help you.

Steve and Tony, though definitely not a couple, took on the role of your parents. You even had begun calling them as such. Steve was Pa and Tony was Dad. They didn’t always agree on exactly how to handle you. But they loved you and that was a step above your real parents, who you didn’t even know.

“Y/N! I need you to get in the building and get anyone and everyone out!” Steve instructed. “As fast as you can! I think the building is going down!”

“You got it Cap!” You responded.

Using your super speed you rushed out of the quinjet and into the building. You zig-zagged through each floor. The first few were empty, but eventually you ran into some people. You quickly helped them out of the building to continue your search. You were almost done with you sweep when you felt the building tremble. You paused, glancing around.

“Kid!” Tony shouted in the comms. “The building is going down. Where are you?”

“Uh… I don’t think you want to know,” you responded.

“Please tell me you’re not still in the building, Y/N,” Steve said.

“I’m sorry, Pa. I’m almost done with my sweep. Just one last floor.”

“No, Y/N! Get out of there now!”

“Just one more floor!” You sped away to get to the last floor.

“I’m on my way to you, Y/N,” Tony said. “Meet me at the Northwest window.”

“Alright. I’m almost—“

You suddenly heard a loud cry. You turned to see a little girl huddled up in the corner as the building’s tremor’s worsened. Rushing to the little girl, you barely missed the ceiling caving down and breaking the floor.

“I’m outside the window, kid!” Tony exclaimed. “You need to get here, now!”

“There’s a kid in here!” You retorted, grabbing the little girl. You sped to the window. “You need to take her.” You held her out to Tony.

“Not without you!”

“Just take her, Dad! Please!”

He quickly took her from your arms. “Don’t do anything! I’ll be right back!”

He flew off and the floor began to crack worse beneath your feet. You knew, even with your super speed, that you wouldn’t be able to make it out of the building without Tony coming for you. When another section of floor collapsed, you knew you needed to get out of there.

“Dad!” You shouted.

“I’m almost there, honey!” He responded. “Just hang on!”

The floor cracked beneath you, sending you falling. You grasped onto the ledge.

“Dad!” You screamed.

“Almost, there—“

“AHHH!”

The building’s roof collapsed, with the rest of the building following. You were pushed down with the debris, screaming.

“Y/N!!!” A multitude of voices screamed over the comms.

But you didn’t hear anything else, because you landed with a thud, hitting your head and blacking out before the rest of the building landed on you.

~~~

“Tony, come take a rest,” Clint urged. “At least drink something.”

You had been stuck under the building for hours at this point, with Tony working non-stop to try and get to you.

“I can’t,” Tony responded. “My kid’s down there.”

“Scott’s almost here, he’ll shrink down and see what’s going on.”

“I can’t afford to waste a second.”

“Stark, we don’t know if moving any of this will make it worse for her,” Bucky said. “We could just be killing her faster.”

“You don’t think I know that!” Tony spun around. “But she’s the closest thing I have to a daughter! And I’ve already let her down once today.”

“You didn’t let her down.”

“I’m the one who told her to go into the building,” Steve said, everyone able to feel the self blame in his words. “I did this to her.”

“Stop with the blame game here, guys,” Clint interrupted. “Y/N wouldn’t want that. Now, we need—"

“I’m here! I’m here!” Scott yelled, running up with Hope. “Romanoff and Banner got us hooked up to cameras and we brought extra Pym particles so that we can get her out of there.” He briefly made eye contact with Tony and Steve. “We’re going to get her out of there.”

“We’ve got this,” Hope confirmed.

Shrinking, the two quickly got into the rubble. The others rushed over to the screens so that they could hear and see what was going on. It was dusty, that much was clear. But the couple were quick to follow FRIDAY’s leads on where to go. The AI was trying to to its best to sense were you were by heat signatures.

“Miss Y/N should be just below,” the AI informed the two in the debris.

“There she is,” Steve breathed out, seeing your head on the screen. It was clear that blood had been, or still was, coming from somewhere on your head. “Tell us what’s going on guys. What’s her status?”

“She’s breathing,” Hope confirmed. “She’s scratched up, but it looks like the bleeding as stopped.”

“She’s lost quite a bit of blood,” Scott added. He turned, revealing her bottom half, squished under a large piece of cement. “That’s not good.”

“Shit,” Tony whispered. “No.”

“We need to shrink her before the damage gets worse,” Hope said. “Get on the other side of her, Scott.”

“On it,” Scott replied.

“You ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Shrink her in 3, 2, 1.”

Your body was quickly shrunk. Hope and Scott quickly worked together to secure you to Hope.

“Okay, she’s secure,” Scott said. “We’re on our way up.”

“You’re going to want to get everything ready,” Hope warned. “We aren’t going to want to bring her back to normal size without being ready to work.”

“Helen Cho is waiting back at the compound with her team,” Bruce informed. “Natasha and I have the quinjet ready to stabilize her as much as we can on the way.”

“Steve, Tony, you may want to stay away. It’s worse than the camera’s probably caught.”

“Not a chance.” / “Like hell!”

“Hope is right,” Clint said. “Bruce needs to be able to check her out with out you two hovering.” He looked at Bucky, the two seemingly having a silent conversation. They both took a step towards the two other men. “When they bring her out, we can’t have you two going all papa bears.”

“We’re in the quinjet,” Scott informed.

Clint and Bucky were quick. Bucky went for Steve, fighting with him to slow him down. Clint quickly shot an arrow at Tony’s arc reactor, shutting down the suit and effectively locking Tony in it. While that was happening, the others raced to the quinjet, getting it off the ground before the four men could get there.

Scott normalized himself first before helping Hope with herself and Y/N. Natasha and Bruce were waiting, ready to grab you as soon as they could. You were limp in Bruce’s arms, so incredibly so that it scared even the Hulk to his core. He and Natasha worked quickly and efficiently together to do everything they could before getting to the compound.

Back at the site, the four men had slowed down their fighting.

“How could you do that Clint?” Tony asked, clearly hurt as he was able to get his helmet off. “You have kids. You should understand the need to be with them when they’re injured.”

“I do,” Clint replied. “That’s why we knew we needed to stop the two of you.”

“Whatever happens, it’s going to be hard,” Bucky said. “And they need to be able to fully evaluate her. It was either this or sedation… We’re sorry. We want to be there for her too."

~~~

It was two hours before Cho had finished running all the tests and an hour after that before Tony and Steve could wait at your bedside. You were all bandaged, bruised, and scrapped, but you were alive. That’s all that really matter. The test results had yet to come back, so the men had to try and be patient. You sucked in a breath, alerting the men to the possibility of you waking up.

“Y/N?” Steve softly called. “You there, doll?”

“Pa?” You rasped, head turning towards the sound of his voice while your eyes crept open.

“Hey.” He smiled.

“Hi, kid,” Tony said.

You turned to look at him. “Dad.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I feel a hundred feet and then a building landed on me.”

“We’re not surprised there,” Steve commented.

“Hey, Y/N,” Helen Cho greeted as she walked into the room with her tablet. “How are you doing? Any unusual pain?”

“Well the drugs you’ve given me are trippy,” you replied.

“Drugs?” She repeated concerned, glancing at Tony and Steve.

“Yeah. I can feel my upper half, but my waist and below are completely numb. What did you give me, doc?”

Helen immediately went to work. She tore off the blankets covering your feet and immediately began running her pen up and down them.

“What’s going on?” You asked, trying to sit up.

“Steve, go get Bruce,” Helen ordered. Steve nodded and rushed out.

You looked at Tony. “Dad? What’s going on?”

“I-I— oh my gosh,” Tony stammered, hand covering his mouth.

“Dad!”

“We didn’t give you any pain meds, Y/N,” Helen stated.

“What?”

“We wanted to see if there was any damage done, so we didn’t want the pain meds getting in the way.”

“So… I—I… I can’t…” You began hyperventilating. “I…”

“Honey, lay down,” Tony urged, gently pushing you onto the bed. “Breathe.”

“I’m here!” Bruce said, hurrying in with Steve. “We need to get her into the scanner and compare it to the other tests we’ve taken.”

Helen quickly went to the head of your bed, unlocking the wheels. All of this was scaring you.

“Dad?” You looked at Tony, teary eyed, before looking at Steve. “Pa?” They both grasped one of your hands.

“We’re right here,” Steve said, bringing your hand up for a kiss as Helen and Bruce began to wheel you away.

“You both need to stay here, while we run the scans,” Bruce said.

“No! Please!” You pled, crying.

“I’ll be with you, Y/N. Tony and Steve just need to stay here.”

Bruce and Helen pushed you away as you begged and cried out for Steve and Tony. The rest of the Team rushed into the hallway to see what was happening. They witnessed you being pushed down the hall.

“What the hell is going on?” Sam asked, looking into the room where Tony and Steve had been left. Both men looked distraught, and absolutely heartbroken.

“Steve?” Bucky questioned.

“She… She… I…” Steve couldn’t pull his thoughts together.

“Tony?” Natasha questioned.

The man fell back into a chair, burying his head in his hands. “She couldn’t feel her legs,” Tony whispered. “She couldn’t feel her legs.”

“She thought they had given her pain killers,” Steve continued, whispering as well.

“Steve, sit down,” Bucky said, moving to help his friend. “You look like you could pass out.”

“I might… she couldn’t feel her legs…”

“She’s going to be alright,” Sam said. “Y/N’s a fighter.”

“Yeah, but… she couldn’t feel her legs…”

~~~

After getting you into the scanner, Bruce and Helen actually gave you drugs to help you calm down. You were asleep almost as soon as they were injected. The two doctors worked together to look over each scan and previously done test. Only to reach the same conclusion each time. You were paralyzed. This brought on a multitude of worries, but the biggest one had to do with your abilities. Would you ever be able to use them again?

After finding out about the diagnosis, it was the first question to leave Tony’s lips. Tony and Steve were standing outside your med-bay room, Helen and Bruce in front of them. The two doctors sighed, glancing at one another.

“No,” Bruce answered. “She wouldn’t be able to use her abilities again.”

What they didn’t know was that you had woken up just in time to hear Tony ask the question and Bruce answer it. Covering your mouth, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to stop from sobbing.

“She’s going to need help with everything, especially right now,” Helen continued for Bruce. “She’s going to need to be looked after. And I—“

“We’ll do it,” Steve replied, firmly. “We’re her family, we’ll take care of her.”

“I know that you two—this whole team, sees her as family. But this is going to be a long, hard road.”

“What are you saying?” Tony asked. “That we send her away? She’s almost 17! Who would be willing to adopt her at that age? Especially when we are her family!” He motioned between himself and Steve. “We are her fathers!”

“I understand, Tony. But you need to be prepared. She’s going to need help with the little everyday things. Bathing, getting changed, going to the bathroom. Somebody’s going to need to help her with it.”

“We will,” Steve repeated, still as firm as before. “Whatever she needs, for as long as she needs it. Whether it’s officially legal or not, she is our daughter and we will help her through it all.”

“I can make her braces,” Tony said. “Just like I did with Rhodes.”

“We actually believe that it would be more valuable if she learns to live with a wheelchair first,” Bruce responded. “Just in case anything were to happen with the braces, that she wouldn’t be completely helpless.”

“I agree with Bruce on this one,” Steve said. “She needs to be able to live in a wheelchair before she tries braces.”

“We will have her in physical and occupational therapy such, so she doesn’t lose all the muscles in her legs.”

Just then, Wanda rushed passed them, heading for your door. “Wanda?” Steve questioned. “What’s going on?”

“The pain,” Wanda replied. “She’s in so much pain.”

Following Wanda into the room, they witnessed you trying to control your emotions. Though it was clear you were upset. Tony and Steve rushed to either side of you.

“It’s okay, honey,” Tony whispered, wiping tears off your cheeks. “It’s okay.”

“N-no…” you rasped, shaking your head. “It’s… n-not…”

“Did you hear what we were talking about?” Steve asked. You nodded. “I’m so sorry, doll. You shouldn’t have had to find out that way.”

You couldn’t stop the sobs at this point. You had just gotten the worse news you could have imagined. You were paralyzed and know unable to use your abilities. In your mind, you were basically useless.

Steve quickly got into bed with you, pulling you into his arms. As he cradled you, he tried to get you to calm down. He glanced around worriedly at everyone else in the room, who didn’t know how to help.

~~~

“You need to eat, Y/N,” Tony pressed, trying to hand you a plate again.

“I’m not hungry,” you replied, voice void of all emotion.

You had fallen asleep in Steve’s arms, where the two of you stayed until morning. Tony brought in breakfast while Steve went to get ready for the day.

“You need to eat,” he said again.

“I said, I’m not hungry,” you repeated.

Tony sighed, seating the plate down. “Do you not like waffles? I can have Happy go get something else. A burger? Fries? Ice cream?”

“I want my legs back.”

“Kid—“

“Don’t try to make me feel better about this. You have no understanding about how I am feeling.”

“I wasn’t trying to. I just—“

“Can you leave me alone? I want to be alone.”

Tony knew that you just needed a moment. So without responding, he got up and left, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall next to it, running a hand down his face. The guilt he was feeling was real. If only he had grabbed you and the kid, or if he had just flown faster.

“You’re going there too?” Steve asked, coming up to lean on the wall across from Tony.

“The guilt is real,” Tony responded.

“Yeah… I shouldn’t have had her go into the building. What was I thinking?”

“I shouldn’t have let her convince me to take the kid… but, I guess, feeling this way won’t do her any good now, will it?”

“No, unfortunately, it won’t.” Steve looked at the closed door. “How is she?”

“She refused to eat… I’m thinking about having Happy get all her favorite foods for lunch.”

“Good idea. Maybe we could even try the wheelchair out and bring her to the common area.”

“I like it.”

“I’ll let everyone know about it.”

“Yeah, I—“

“Excuse me, Boss, Captain,” FRIDAY interrupted. “But Y/N is in need of immediate assistance.”

~~~

After Tony left, you huffed. This was miserable. You didn’t want to be stuck in this bed. And, honestly, the longer you sat there, the more you needed to go to the bathroom. You just didn’t want to ask for help, you didn’t want that to be your life. Studying the distance between your bed and the toilet for a few moments, you decided to get there yourself. Besides, they hadn’t tried to stand you up and get you to walk, maybe this was all one big cruel joke.

Taking a deep breath, you flung your covers off. You pushed yourself towards the edge of the bed, helping your legs to rest over it. Other deep breath in and you pushed yourself off the bed, trying to stand. You immediately fell. Trying to brace yourself, you landed on your hands. One of your wrists cracked, failing to break your fall. In the midst of the struggle, your bladder decided to let loose, causing you to lay in a pool of your own pee. You clutched your wrist close to your chest as your door burst open, revealing two extremely worried men. You looked at them, with tears cascading down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I just wanted to do something by myself.” They looked at you with complete pity, which you absolutely hated.

“It’s okay,” Steve said, getting on the floor beside you, minding the puddle. He noticed your wrist. “Did you hurt yourself?”

You nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll go run and get you clothes, sweetheart,” Tony said. “Steve will help you into the shower. It’s all going to be okay.” He rushed out.

“No it won’t,” you whispered as Steve scooped you up into his arms. “It will never be again.”

And Steve thought his heart couldn’t shatter more than it already had. As he lifted you, he could practically feel the weight that this was having on you. You wouldn’t look at him as he took you into the bathroom and set you on the shower floor.

“Can I help you undress?” Steve asked.

You inhaled sharply, closing your eyes. This was your life now. Though you could undress yourself, you would always need help, basically be waited on all the time.

“If you want, I can go grab Natasha,” Steve suggested. “Or Wanda. Or, Pepper might even be in today. You love Pepper.”

“I want to be alone,” you mumbled.

“Y/N, I just want to help. Just let me help.”

“And I just want to be alone.” Tears were still falling, though you couldn’t understand how.

“Y/N—“

“Just leave me alone!” You shouted, pushing yourself into the corner.

“What’s going on in here?” Tony asked, bringing in the clothes with Pepper following.

“Leave me alone!”

“Why don’t you guys wait outside?” Pepper suggested. “I’ll help Y/N.”

Steve sighed, straightened up from his kneeled position and hurrying out of there. Tony looked at you sadly before taking his leave. Pepper shut the door and came to your side.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked softly.

“I want to be left alone,” you responded, frustrated and not willing to look her way.

“That’s not going to happen and you know it, Tony and Steve won’t allow it. Those men out there care about you and are so extremely worried. All they want to do is help.”

“I don’t care.”

She let out a small sigh. “Will you at least let me help? We need to get you out of those clothes and washed up. Especially since that wrist needs to get checked out.”

After a moment, you gave in and looked at her. “Okay.”

Pepper smiled at you briefly. “Okay.”

~~~

Apparently, there was already a hairline fracture in your wrist because of the accident. Your fall off the bed didn’t do anything to help it. You had willingly let Pepper help you clean up, but other than that you were still fighting asking for help.

The Team had tried to lift your spirits at lunch out in the common area, but to no avail. After that, you were taken to your regular room, where a twin bed had been added.

“What’s that?” You asked, you hadn’t spoken since the bathroom.

“Someone is going to stay in here with you until things start becoming normal again,” Steve replied, pushing the wheelchair further into the room.

“Normal,” you scoffed.

“Buck and I were thinking we could have a movie night today. Maybe try and watch all of the—“

“I just want to sleep.”

“That’s okay too.”

“I would be here too kid,” Tony added, “but Pep and I are working out somethings with the physical therapist.”

“What’s the point of physical therapy? My legs don’t work.”

“It’s to keep your muscles, so that one day you can get braces.”

You nodded, glancing around until you were staring at your tennis shoes on the floor. They were brand new, Stark designed shoes. They were meant to not wear as fast because of your speeding abilities. Your speeding abilities that you could no longer access.

“Can you do something with those?” You asked, pointing at them.

Both Tony and Steve looked over. They got a tad deflated after remembering how excited you had been about those shoes.

“Yeah, sure, kid,” Tony responded, grabbing them. “I’ll just put them up in your closet. We can—“

“No,” you interrupted. “I want them gone.”

“Y/N—“

“I don’t need any reminders of what I’m now unable to do.”

“Sweetheart,” Tony got down in front of you, “you can still, or will be able to, do a lot. You got lucky.” He immediately regretted his last sentence, even Steve flinch.

“I got lucky? I. Got. Lucky?”

“Y/N, that’s not what—“

“Get the hell out!”

“Hey, that’s not how you talk to your—“

“My what? Father?! Cause you aren’t, remember? Maybe you should take Helen’s advice and give me away! Might make it easier on everyone!”

“You are my daughter, damn it! Whether it’s official or not, or by blood!”

“Y/N, Tony—“ Steve tried to interrupt.

“No! I actually will say that you got lucky. You did because you have people willing to help you, willing to support you.”

“Well stop!” You shouted back. “Have you ever thought that I don’t want any of your help?! Maybe I think that you should have just left me down there to die! It would have been better that way! I’m basically useless like this!”

“Enough!” Bucky yelled, barging in with Nat. “Steve, Tony, out.”

With a glare sent their way from Nat, the two men didn’t even argue. You were refusing to look at Bucky and Nat. Half embarrassed that you said those things to the men you considered your dads, and half embarrassed that you were believing the terrible thoughts your mind was taunting you with.

Bucky and Natasha looked at each other, unsure of what exactly to do. You let them help you into bed before they left you alone, leaving with a promise to bring food later.

In the loneliness of your bedroom, you let your thoughts consume you. How you were now useless as an Avenger without being able to have super speed. How you wished they would have just let you die. How you wish they wouldn’t be so helpful, it was driving you crazy. How you really didn’t have any family, you were all alone.

~~~

To respect your boundaries, Tony and Steve decided to let the others help them. No matter how hard it was. It hurt them to see you struggling through everything and not rush to your side. Not that you would let them help, you weren’t letting anyone without putting up a fight.

Steve and Tony had had many talks since they realized you were wishing that you had just died. Tony had made sure that FRIDAY had surveillance on you 24/7 and the Team, besides Tony and Steve, were switching sleeping in your room every night.

It wasn’t easy on anyone, especially since you were having nightmares about being stuck down in the debris. Someone would wake you from the dream, only to be quickly shut out. The terrors would leave you trembling, sweating, and in a state of panic. But, with you not willing to let people help, the others were forced to watch you struggle with this.

Physical and occupational therapy was a whole other issue. You were rude to the therapists and unwilling to do anything. As the weeks went by, the Team could see the affect it was happening on your legs and they were concerned. Steve and Tony would watch each session from above, angry at the whole situation.

It had been two months since the whole incident, and you still weren’t showing any signs of changing your attitude any time soon.

“Come on, Y/N,” your therapist sighed. “What I’m asking you to do isn’t all that hard. I’m going to do all the work.”

“No,” you stated, determined.

“Y/N—“

“Why don’t you go help someone who’s more able to do things? Maybe someone who will actually get better. I’m sure they’d love your help."

“I can’t watch this anymore,” Tony said to Steve, watching from above. “She’s hurting herself.”

“You know we can’t force her to do anything, Tony,” Steve replied. “We have to let her do this on her own.”

“No, we don’t.” Tony turned around and headed for the room you were currently in.

“Tony! What are you going to do?”

“Use the hate she is harboring towards what happened, towards us, for her benefit.”

Tony burst into the room, causing you and the therapist to jump. You furrowed your brows, confused at what Tony and Steve could possibly be doing here.

“Hand me your leg, Y/N,” Tony demanded.

“What? No,” you responded.

“Hand me your damn leg!”

“No!”

“Fine!” Tony marched over and picked you up from your wheelchair.

“Put me down!” You tried to push off Tony. “Let me go!”

“Tony!” Steve called. “What are you doing?”

“It’s time for some tough love,” Tony responded. He set you down, not gently, on a therapy table. He grabbed your leg and began doing the exercises.

“Let go of me!” You demanded, trying to reach and pry him away, but failing.

“No! Don’t you see what you are doing to yourself? What you’re doing to those around you?! You are miserable and you are making others miserable! Yes, what happened to you was absolute shit. Trust me, Steve and I will have that guilt with us for the rest of our lives. But it’s up to you to decide how to come out of this. You ever fight to live, fight to find the new normal, or you let yourself whither away. And I’m not about to let that last one happen.”

“You may think you’re alone in this, but you aren’t,” Tony continued. “Steve and I, the Team, we all want to help you through this. Even if that means sticking with you for life.”

During Tony’s whole thing, you had began crying. He was right, you were making yourself and everyone around you miserable.

“I’m sorry,” you cried out. “I’m so sorry… I just… I just wish…”

“I know, honey, I know,” Tony said, moving to pull you into his chest. You melted into him, crying. He placed a kiss on your head. “I’ve got you… I’ve got you.”

“Don’t leave me, Dad.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve came over and grabbed one of your hands, gently kissing it. You gave his hand a squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Pa,” you croaked.

“It’s okay,” Steve replied with a tiny smile. “No need to apologize. Just please don’t say that you would have rather died again. I don’t think I could take it if you did.”

“If I died or said it again?”

“Both.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Will you guys… uh, will you guys help me with my exercises?”

“Of course, honey,” Tony replied. “But maybe Steve should do the other leg, because I think I wore myself out.”

Steve stood. “I’ll exercise that leg better than you could, Stark,” he commented.

“Oh, you’re on, Rogers.” Tony swiftly stood up.

“Great,” you muttered. “Now this is going to be a thing.”

~~~

Now that you were accepting help, things were beginning to look up again. Not that things weren’t hard, but they were better and you could handle it all better. The Team had decided to celebrate, but wouldn’t tell you how. Wheeling your wheelchair into the common area, you found it pitch black.

“FRIDAY,” you called out to the AI, “can I get some lights?”

“Of course,” the AI responded.

The lights came on and suddenly you were being pelted with water from squirt guns. The Team came out of their hiding spots, laughing, as they continued to fire at you.

“Guys!” You squealed, trying to shield yourself. “Guys! St-stop!”

“Never!” Sam exclaimed as he made his way closer to you.

“Here,” Peter said, lowering himself from the ceiling. “Take this.” He offered you a large gun. “Save yourself.”

You laughed as you began to fight back. Suddenly, you were pulled backwards by both Steve and Tony, who were trying to use you and the chair as protection.

“They’ve turned against us!” Tony exclaimed.

“Help us, Y/N!” Steve added.

You couldn’t stop laughing as you, Tony and Steve worked together to try and defeat the others. The Team couldn’t stop smiling as they watched you act so happy. It was so refreshing. After the common room was all but turned into a pool, the Team decided to change and then meet down in the movie room to relax for the night. When Y/N had arrived down there, Tony and Steve had saved a place between them.

“Can I help you onto the couch?” Steve asked.

You responded with a nod and let Steve pick you up, wrapping your arms around his neck. He carefully guided you through the maze of lodging teammates to the spot him and Tony had chosen on the couch.

“Thanks Pa,” you said as he set you down. You pulled your legs up close to you.

“Not a problem,” he smiled, sitting down beside you.

Tony spread a blanket over you guys. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Of course,” Tony responded, leaving a little kiss on your forehead.

You curled up against Tony as Steve moved your legs to rest over his lap, allowing him to massage them. FRIDAY quickly turned on your favorite movie. You glanced around, taking in everyone around you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Though your life was going to continue to have its challenges, you were glad you had found this family.

Part 2

#the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark imagine #steve rogers x imagine #marvel x reader #the avengers x teen!reader #avengers x teen!reader #tony stark x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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koukouture · 3 years ago

Text

A construct’s finale

When your beloved construct gets corrupted by the punishing virus, you aren’t quite sure who’s supposed to make it out alive

Note: God has allowed me to exist for another day and I am going to make it everyone's problem. Also I did one of these for Chrome here

Characters: Kamui, Lee, and Watanabe (will do more eventually when I actually have ideas for them lol)

Warnings: Gore, death, angst, have fun lmao

Tagging: @husbando-collector-sanctuary because I said I’d do this. Watch your babies suffer

Kamui

You should have known something was wrong when Kamui was too quiet while you two were scouting an empty building. He didn’t chat with you like he usually did, he only held your hand and looked around.

It shouldn’t have taken this long for you to realize that Kamui has been corrupted. Because now he has you in a choke hold while tears stream down his face and his eyes flicker between red and his usual purple.

“K-kamui” you choke, reaching for him.

Your hand comes in contact with his cheek and he suddenly drops you. He stumbles back, screaming in pain, no doubt from the Punishing virus.

“Don’t come any closer” he commands, moving further away from you. You don’t care or you tuned him out because you step closer. “I said don’t!” he yells before coughing.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask, inching closer.

“I wanted to be with you, commandant. B-but I hurt you. I’m supposed to protect you but I-”

“Hey, hey. It’ll be ok. I’m fine” you reach for him again, but he flinches and backs away.

“Commandant, don’t- please don’t” he says quietly.

You stop, clenching your fists while the blonde cries and fishes a small knife from inside his jacket. You don’t have time to react before he plunges is into his chest.

“Kamui!” you shout, running towards him, he doesn’t back away this time as you try to stop him. He only takes a deep breath and jams it into his chest, screaming as he pries the metal open.

“C-commandant, remember when on my birthday you said you’d grant me a wish, but I never ended up asking you for anything?”

He coughed again before looking into your eyes “I want to ask you for one last thing, commandant”

Kamui holds you hand, it would have been sweet but he gently puts the knife in your hand, closing your fist around it. His vitals fluids coat your hands, but you can’t bring yourself to do anything about it as you shake uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry. But I’m not strong enough to do it by myself”

“No!” you shout “I’m not doing this, Kamui. Please I’ll let you go, I won’t say anything about it, just don’t do this”

He gives you a warm smile before he reaches up and strokes your face “It’s gonna be ok, commandant. You have Lee and the others, you won’t be alone”

“There has to be another way”

The construct levels your shaky hands with his core smiling at you “I don’t want to hurt anyone else, so please do this for me, commandant”

“You won’t. I know you won’t Kamui” you sob “Please Kamui, I love you”

Kamui seems shocked for a moment before smiling “I love you too, commandant”

You’re shaking hard as he guides you hand closer to his pulsing core.

“It’ll be ok”

You close your eyes and take a shaky breath, and when you open them his core is dim. His eyes are closed and a smile rests on his lips.

The knife clatters to the floor as you hold your face in your hands, crying your heart out until the rest of Gray Raven finds you... and Kamui’s lifeless frame.

Watanabe

This was inevitable, the old construct thinks. He removed his inver device and left with only a weak filter on his frame. Watanabe should have known that sooner or later he would get corrupted. He would have accepted it if it were to come for that, he would have accepted it a year ago. But now you’re here, and now you’re watching him loose himself.

“Stand back, commandant” he growls, clutching his chest. He doesn’t have a heart, he is no human, but he can feel the Punishing virus spread through his systems, racing to his core. It hurts, it feels like having lava replace his vital fluids. But he can’t give into it. Not when you’re here.

You don’t listen. You never listen to him. Sometimes he finds it funny and even cute, most times it irritates him. This time, you’re putting your life in danger, so he can say he’s fairly pissed.

You’re both standing in some old ruins, Watanabe’s already cleared it of corrupted and figured that maybe since you two were alone he’d tell you how he’s been feeling lately. Why he’s been avoided you for a while now. But alas, it turns out he’s been corrupted.

“I said to stay back! Listen to me for once in your damn life”

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, soldier” you say sharply, but he can hear your voice tremble ever so slightly as you step closer until you’re close enough for him to kill.

Wait, kill?

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he can feel himself pull out his blades out one moment, and the next when he snaps out of his trance, he sees that you’ve collapsed.

“No, no, no, no, no” he mutters, kneeling down “I told you, I fucking told you to stay away. Why can’t you listen?”

“Asshole” you choke “Because I fucking love you that’s why. I know why you’ve been avoiding me and I get it but, that was kind of a dick move”

“Shut up” he says, wiping tears from his eyes as he tears up his coat and wraps it around your gut, cringing when he sees how much blood you’ve already lost. He puts the remains on your shoulders before standing up.

“Watanabe?”

“Watanabe to Forsaken, the commandant is injured, they’re in the ruins south of the base. Don’t bother looking for me, I won’t be there. That’s an order” he says into his comm piece before taking it out and crushing it.

“No, you’re not leaving me” you yell “Watanabe you fucking ass, we can find a way, we-”

He kneels down and captures your lips in his. It’s a custom the humans of the Forsaken told him about, kissing, a romantic gesture among humans.

“I’m sorry, commandant. But there’s no room for us right now, not ever actually”

You yell at him to come back, but he’s already gone. He takes one last look at the ruins and feels the buzzing on his lips before running further and further away. Never to return and never to know if you were safe.

Lee

How did it come to this? He was so careful, he made so many promises, he trained so hard. But here he was, mangled and missing his arm with the punishing virus slowly clouding his mind. While you leaned against the wall on the other side of the ruins full of dead corrupted.

He winced when he felt the virus progress further in his system. Fuck, he’d have to do something about that. But first...

“Commandant, are you alright?” he asked, breathing heavily.

You didn’t say anything but you seemed alright. A minor scratch on you cheek, but you’re fine. Not in any sort of danger. Perhaps you weren’t very mentally sound though, you had just witnessed Lee get his arms torn off and watched him destroy twenty or so corrupted. You were bound to be a bit shaken, but you’d be alright.

“Lee...”

“I have some bad news, commandant” he said slowly “I’ve been corrupted. And I fear I don’t have much time left”

Oh what he would give to relive yesterday again. When he accidentally spilled his guts to you after you got hurt during a retrieval mission. You had only laughed and told him to take you to dinner if he were to say that to you.

“We’ll fix it. We always do” you say, carefully making your way through the ruins and frames of dead corrupted.

He doubles over when he feels compelled to take out his guns. When he feels like he wants to hurt you. He’d never hurt you. He couldn’t hurt commandant. Ever.

“N-not this time” he says shakily. It’s progressing fast, he didn’t have a filter or any defences to protect against it.

You’re just a few feet away, and he suddenly pulls his gun out. He wants to cry when he sees you freeze up with the most terrified expression on your face. And he does, small steady streams of tears make their way down his face as the gun shakes in his hand. He has to stop himself. He has to stop before he hurts you.

Lee brings the gun to his head, his breaths laboured as he fights the punishing virus’ influence.

“Lee, what are you doing?”

He cracks a rare smile at you, well, one of the few smiles you actually catch. He’s fairly sure you didn’t notice all of the times he’s smiled around you.

“I like you a lot commandant. Take that as you will” he says, before he hears the gun go off. Next thing he knows there’s nothing but ringing. He doesn’t get to see you scream and cry over his frame, your tears mixing with the blue vital fluid that flows out of his head.

“I’d never leave you commandant. I promise”

That’s the first and last promise he will ever break.

#whew #speed ran than shit #I'm proud to say that I'm bringing you like the tenth english pgr x reader fic #anyways #pgr #pgr x reader #punishing gray raven #punishing gray #punishing gray x reader #kamui x reader #lee x reader #watanabe x reader #pgr lee #pgr kamui #pgr watanabe

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mystery-star · 4 years ago

Text

Waiting for you - Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of injury and death

Words: 1838

Star Trek universe: AOS

A/N: Just a lil thing I wrote because I haven’t written (at least for Spocko) in ages. And didn’t feel like writing on a series.

“She’s here. She’s here” you heard someone shouting beside you and looked around and finally you could see the Enterprise approaching in one of many tunnels above you. You smiled and stepped forward a little and waited for the crew to dismount. When you saw the first of them, your smile got broader and you got onto your tiptoes to look out for your husband. Not many people of the Enterprise had someone waiting for them and those who did seemed overjoyed. It made you look down for moment because you had a feeling that Spock wouldn’t greet you like others greeted their loved ones. Finally, you could see him and slightly raised your hand, hoping he’d see you. When he did, he came straight towards you, stopping half a meter in front of you

“(Y/N)” he said “What brings you to Yorktown?”

“I’ll give you three guesses” you replied and just threw yourself around his neck “I’ve missed you, Spock” you breathed against his skin and he hugged you back slightly.

“Am I therefore right to conclude that you came here in order to see me during my shore leave?”

“Right” you let go of him but only that you could kiss him. He cupped your face and kissed you back. At some point his hand found yours, slowly stroking his first two fingers against yours. But then he pulled away from you all of a sudden, just holding your hand. You turned around and saw two older Vulcans behind you.

“Commander, might we have a word? Alone?” you wanted to ask why you couldn’t come when Spock threw a glance at you and squeezed your hand

“Do you mind?”

“Just be quick” you pecked his cheek “I’ll be waiting for you, okay?” you handed him a keycard of the hotel where you had booked a room for you both. He gave a nod, then let go of your hand and followed the two men. With a sigh you looked after him and returned to the hotel, knowing he would be clever enough to find it when he was done.

But he only came when it was dark and you were already in bed, reading a magazine on your PADD.

“Have you been waiting with sleeping until I return?”

“Well, you got some days of shore leave, then I won’t see you for another two years. I want to use every minute with you that I can” he gave a nod and sat down on the bed, placing a device on the nightstand. “What did they want?”

“I will tell you in the morning”

“Alright” you put the PADD aside and stretched yourself a little before sitting up, crawling closer to him and wrapping your arms around him again, kissing him. “We now have better things to do, don’t you think?” he kissed you back and placed one of his hands in the small of your back, pulling you closer while he ran his other hand over the side of your face. After the kiss he leaned his forehead to yours and you bumped his nose with yours. “Did you have fun out there on the mission?”

“I have written and called you three times per week, as we have agreed on, and informed you about what you call ‘adventures’ and have also answered each question concerning them I was allowed to answer”

“Well yes but your last message was two days ago. I need a recap of the past two days. Or retell me your favorite mission. Doing it face-to-face is much better” you pecked his lips. He gave a nod, pulled you into his lap and started telling you how the Captain had attempted to make peace between two species that didn’t work out as planned. Then he went on to their arrival to Yorktown and suddenly his communicator beeped “Tell me that’s your private comm”

“It is not” he leaned forward to get it and you just wanted to stop him but let it happen with a sigh. Placing you back on the bed, he gave your hand a squeeze, took the comm, opened it and left the room. With a sigh you fell back on the bed, glancing to the PADD and considering if you should continue reading but then looked at the ceiling, repeating everything you had planned to do with Spock in the following days in your mind. Soon Spock returned and you sat up with a smile but his words ruined it “I must go”

“Go? Go where? Aren’t you on shore leave?”

“I am. However, there is a matter that requires my assistance”

“What is it?”

“I cannot tell you much but I must leave Yorktown”

“You’re shitting me”

“I do not joke”

“But… but… will you at least get that time off later on? How long will you be gone?”

“I suppose it should not take longer than 36 hours”

“Oh well…. Then you owe me yet another debriefing upon your return” he gave a nod, came closer to put his comm on his nightstand and pecking your forehead.

“Please make yourself a pleasant day tomorrow”

“Okay. And then I’ll be waiting here for you… again”

But Spock didn’t come home the evening or morning after he had left, so you decided to make yourself another nice day exploring another area of Yorktown. In the late afternoon, you suddenly heard how the station went on alert and after looking around you saw that a swarm of tiny ships tried attacking Yorktown. Around you everyone was in panic, screaming, rallying kids and running away while you stood there frozen, staring at the many little ships on the other side of Yorktown.

“We have to leave. Come. Now” someone next to you shouted, pulling on your arm

“Can we go somewhere safe? Like a… bunker?”

“A bunker on a Starbase?” the man started laughing slightly and shook his head.

“Or can we do something? Something to help? Is there a defense station or militia? Or help evacuate people?”

“That’s Starfleet’s business” as if on cue, there was an announcement, informing the public that there was an attack and that you should not panic. You let out a snort and watched how the people around you seemed to panic even more. You looked around and finally saw a security, officer, going over to him.

“Excuse me, Sir?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll all be safe, just stay calm and…”

“No, I wanted to ask if I can help something.”

“Help?”

“Yeah. Weapons, evacuate people or something” he looked at you, considered it a while then said he’d have to check it out. But before he could return, they managed to somehow blow up all the small ships. Somehow you couldn’t believe that this was everything and sure enough, there was another announcement informing the public that a great part of the ship had been destroyed but that three of them had gotten into Yorktown but that they still had the situation under control and would do everything to stop them. For some reason, you found that three ships hand entered Yorktown almost worse than the initial attack. Because you knew there probably wasn’t much you could do unless the ships came to that part of Yorktown, you sat down in a café, ordered a drink and watched the news on the big screen that gave a permanent update on the situation at the other end of Yorktown. Not even 15 minutes later, you heard that everyone was out of danger and the intruders had been rendered harmless. After a sigh, you finished your drink and then returned to the scene of the action, maybe there now was something you could help, like tidying up damage or helping the wounded. You stayed there and helped until it was dark and the volunteers were sent home, so you returned to the hotel. But you didn’t get far and the receptionist called you over.

“You are (Y/N) (Y/L/N), right?”

“That’s me, yeah”

“I have message for you, from a doctor Leonard McCoy”

“I know him. He’s the doctor on the Enterprise. What is this message about?”

“He lets you know, that your husband… Commander Spock will spend the night in Yorktown hospital”

“Ho-hospital? They’re back? What does he have? Is it bad? Can I visit him? When did they get back?”

“He only told me that so you know where your husband is and in case you wish to see him. I don’t know anything else” you nodded and with a thank-you you ran out of the hotel, to the hospital, where you had brought a few people earlier today. You went to a visitor station to register your visit and once you knew where your husband was and that he currently could be visited, you rushed to the elevator and then to his room. When you saw Spock lying in bed awake, you let out a deep breath and moved closer.

“Spock” you breathed, not sure what to say and having a hundred questions at the tip of your tongue. "How are you?” was the first you asked

“I am well, (Y/N). The doctors insisted I stayed the night to ensure that my condition does not become worse” you nodded and came closer, taking his hand, pressing a kiss to it as you sat down on the edge of the bed. To your delight, he squeezed your hand.

“What happened? To you, I mean?” he explained how on the mission his side was impaled by a piece of metal and that McCoy didn’t have the correct equipment to properly treat him. “At least you’re safe” you ran your free hand through his hair. “When did you even get back?”

“4.2 hours ago”

“That was… that was when the attack happened” he agreed and said it was them who played a great role in stopping them. “Oh so that big ship that destroyed the central plaza was you, the Franklin?”

“Indeed”

“And what about the Enterprise?”

“She has been destroyed”

“Oh no. What about the crew? Are they safe?”

“We have not yet been able to ascertain who has survived the attack on the Enterprise and who lost their life, however, I am certain that at least 350 people have survived”

“Out of 428 that’s still a lot that could have died”

“Besides, I also know of at least 16 casualties from the crew” you gave a nod

“And what now? I mean is your mission over? The Enterprise is gone”

“We do not know yet but it is certain that we will remain her for longer than the originally scheduled 12 days of shore leave”

“Well, then we got more time to do something as long as we’re here. And I get to see you longer. Ha that visit was worth it” you leant down to kiss his forehead. “Now we just gotta make sure you’ll be on your feet as soon as possible because I have lot planned for the next days”

Taglist: @softsapphicideals

#spock #spock x reader #spock x you #spock imagine #aos spock #imagine

243 notes · View notes

mieohmy · 4 years ago

Text

𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗍 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 | 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗃𝖾𝗇𝗈, 𝗇𝖺 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇

PAIRING: jeno x fem reader, jaemin x fem reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, agent!jeno, agent!jaemin, agent!reader, spy! au, love triangle, slow burn, pining

WC: 13.1k

NOTES: depictions of violence, weapons, murder, death, blood, injuries, hospitals, mentions of alcohol consumption

SUMMARY: you save jeno’s life and suddenly you’re more to him than he’s ever thought possible. or in more simple terms, you somehow find yourself in the midst of a war called feelings.

notice!- there will be a part two/bonus of this fic soon so keep a lookout :)

“Yes sir.” The three of you speak in unison.

You, jeno, and jaemin are excused from your boss’s office, minds already revving up for your newly assigned mission.

“So.....” jaemin starts.

“So?” You glance at him, jeno to your left doing the same.

“What do you guys want to eat after we’re done?”

Jeno snorts.

“Already thinking about dinner before the mission’s even started?” You tease jaemin as you walk side by side down the stairs.

Just seeing you three together catches everyone else’s attention. And when you and the boys go to your respective lockers, grabbing your gear and getting ready, they begin to whisper too, already knowing what it means.

The notorious three going all out again.

It didn’t phase any of you at this point. Simply because you guys were that group. The trio with the reputation of being “unstoppable” as the rookies called it. Meaning? Your assigned missions rarely failing, the deeds done cleanly and always on time- the boss never had to worry and fret over your team. But you three were humble enough to simply call it ‘practiced skill and talent’ -with a spoonful of teamwork, of course.

Actually, that was an understatement. Teamwork was important, if not the most important thing while performing missions together. Knowing your partners’ style, skills, actions, were key in any task- basically being able to understand and read each other’s minds without a single word, even in the middle of a battle. Especially in the middle of a battle.

“Are you ready?” Jeno asks, and you nod, looking over to jaemin attempting to put on his earpiece. You stifle a laugh, shuffling over to him and reaching to adjust it. “What would all the newbies think if the mighty jaemin couldn’t even put on his earpiece correctly?” You mutter, fingers soft and nimble while focusing intently.

He grins. “I’d say you always do it for me because you’re the boss.”

You smile. “Dang right I am.”

Turning back to jeno, you notice him waiting boredly for you two. “We’re good Jen! Or do you need me to fix yours too?”

He shakes his head, a smile forming. “Nah, I can take care of myself pretty well.”

“Are you sure? What about that one coffee-“

Jeno presses a finger to your lips, effectively muffling your next words.

“Let’s not mention that anymore.”

A few beats of silence pass.

Then Jaemin abruptly claps his hands. “Ah! The one girl-“

And jeno basically flies through the air over to him, covering his face and whispering worthless threats. The three of you burst into laughter, the atmosphere quite light and easy compared to what you were about to embark on.

You head to the exit and towards the waiting car.

Once everyone gets inside, there’s a noticeable shift in the energy -no more fun banter and joking. It was time to focus.

The assigned driver types in the address to where you three are supposed to infiltrate a random gang’s base and take some trivial files for your own group’s use. The difficulty wasn’t too bad, especially for you three. Definitely not the worst you’ve ever been through as a team- you cringe thinking back to when you, jeno, and jaemin started your first “big” mission. Needless to say, you all came back a little worse for wear. The mission still was considered a success- just saying.

The ride is pretty quiet, an occasional remark here and there. There wasn’t an important need to plan and discuss beforehand- you quickly learned that the three of you worked best just going along with the flow.

The pitch-black night sky and yellow-tinted streetlights greet you as you exit the car, gratefully accepting jeno’s extended hand when you step down.

Jeno looks around, examining the supposed hideout. The sight of an empty parking garage greets him- dim but still lit up somewhat brightly. It may not seem all too scary, but he knows better. It’s just a facade for the dark and twisted acts going on underneath.

“What is this place? Some 2013 music video shoot for a boy group?” Jaemin jokes.

You crack a smile whilst searching around for the entrance. Speaking from experience, you already guessed it would be in an ambiguous location with some stupid twist to get in.

After a couple of seconds, the three of you glance at each other, a look going around that no one else would understand.

“Elevator to your right?”

Jaemin nonchalantly nods, eves never flicking away. “Yep.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Jen, Jaem, I think you guys can stand guard while I quickly get the files.”

The two boys both immediately begin to object, voices rising. Your eyes widen, taking a quick glance around before shushing them. “You never know who’s lurking!”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “I don’t care. We’re not letting you go in alone.”

You sigh, checking the time. “Okay, fine. Then jaem can come with me. I think you’re the quietest and stealthiest out of all three of us.”

Jaemin nods, and you turn to jeno. “Comm us if you see anything, okay?”

Jeno gives a small thumbs up.

“Come on,” you instinctively grab jaemin’s hand. “Let’s be fast so we don’t leave jeno waiting out here for too long.”

Jeno watches as the two of you disappear behind the closing doors.

ꔫ

It’s boring.

The most action Jeno's gotten was a bird flying in and pecking at some random stuff on the ground before leaving.

Jeno begins to wish he went with you guys, but his role is still important. Except for the times when there was no one around and no need to keep a lookout. Jeno stifles a yawn, the somehow peaceful air getting to his head, but it’s cut short when he hears oncoming voices. And they’re definitely not yours or jaemin’s.

He curses internally, ducking and moving out of view from whoever was there. He squints, and there’s no denying the gang symbol painted on their backs.

Jeno counts- two, three...

Okay, that’s not bad. He could definitely take them on. Then jeno remembers he only brought a small knife, not expecting any surprise encounters, and his confidence lowers a bit.

He presses the button on his earpiece, speaking lowly as to not alert the dark figures. “Guys. Unexpected arrival. About three or so.”

A couple of seconds later, your voice filters through. “Shoot. It’s okay, we’ve got the file and are almost out. Are they headed towards the entrance?”

He peeks around the corner and bites his lip after looking. “Yes.”

Jeno hears a sigh from the other side.

“About three more minutes. We got caught up in some security codes. Do you think you can take them on or do you want to wait for us?”

“No,” he immediately responds. “We can’t risk losing the file.”

“Okay.” There’s a pause, and jeno waits.

“Just...” you speak up, “be careful.”

Jeno gulps. “I will.”

It’s not anything jeno hasn’t done before, but it’s still a risky move nonetheless.

He takes a look again, and they’re typing in a code to the door where you and jaemin entered not so long ago.

It’s now or never.

“Hey!”

Jeno’s voice comes out light and airy, a casual and relaxed tone to it as he strolls out.

The masked figures tense, attention immediately on jeno.

Rude, jeno thinks.

He doesn’t even get another word out before the guys are all over him. He takes one out with ease, and barely avoids another one armed with a knife.

Jeno moves with practiced ease, swiftly dodging attacks and hitting back with double the strength.

It’s only after the second guy is down with a blow to the face that jeno whips out his own knife, going after the last guy.

Jeno slices and the figure slumps to the ground. He huffs, examining the fallen bodies around him as he hides his knife away. Two minutes tops, he thinks.

Then the sound of the door opening alerts him, and he turns to see you and jaemin looking tense and alert, relaxing when you catch sight of jeno and the bodies lying around him.

That means one thing. Obviously.

You send a thumbs up with an easy smile, one jeno returns back, believing the mission was done and sealed. He starts messing with his annoying earpiece- huh, maybe you were right, and he didn’t put it in correctly...

Jeno misses the horror that immediately replaces your satisfied look when you take a better glance at him, or more accurately, what’s behind him.

“Lee Jeno!” You suddenly scream, shrill voice echoing through the supposedly empty lot.

Jeno whips around toward you. His eyes immediately make eye contact with yours, and there’s this look of pure terror and desperation.

Chills run down his spine and fear prickles at his neck. What could get you to react like that?

Jeno’s never seen you this scared. Not in a very, very long time. He’s too dumbfounded at your abrupt outburst to pay any attention to his surroundings.

You’re sprinting towards him as fast as you can, lips mouthing words that either he can’t hear or you’re not sounding out.

It all happens so fast- too fast in a blur that he can’t comprehend anything-

you crash into jeno, arms thrown around him as if you were giving him a hug, but then you suddenly spin him around in the opposite direction, and you push him away- just a slight nudge so he only stumbles back a bit.

He hears it before he can fully see it.

The sickening sound of a blade meeting flesh- jeno knows it all too well- and he does catch the figure quickly sliding his knife out from you in shock.

Two seconds -it’s basically second nature for jeno to unsheathe his knife and throw it straight at the guy in two seconds.

Perfectly through his head.

His body feels numb, he doesn’t even give a second glance to the perpetrator before his eyes land on you again.

Red is blooming from your side through your shirt, and all you do is stand there, one hand slowly coming up to press the area, face cringing in pain as you look back up at jeno.

He can’t move- the only sound he hears is the heaving of his chest, gasping for air. But his lips work on their own accord, words coming out slowly and breathlessly.

“y/n....why?”

When you speak, your voice flows out, strangely soft and melodic, and your eyes lock onto him with a hidden and intense emotion.

“Because you’re my friend.”

You add a small “-idiot,” with a cough.

And then it’s as if someone presses play again.

You immediately slump to the ground, and jeno hears jaemin yell, running to you and scooping you up in his arms.

But jeno doesn’t budge an inch, he can only stare at the way your eyes fall shut, limp body unmoving in jaemin’s lap.

Jaemin’s shaking, he can tell, hands trying to press your wound and stop the pouring blood, but he can’t tell if jaemin’s screaming at him to get help or if it’s the sound and smell of blood infiltrating him, rushing through his ears.

Then something snaps, and jeno clumsily fiddles with his earpiece, somehow spitting out the words to get help.

It’s like everything revolves around jeno as he just watches.

and exists.

Backup rushes in and gets you to safety as jeno stands there in shock. He has no clue or recollection as to how he even got back to headquarters. Or what’s going to happen to you.

The only thing jeno can do is replay the moment you jumped in front of him and sacrificed yourself.

And the way you looked at him so tenderly, speaking so soothingly,

-the way there was not a single ounce of regret in your deep eyes after willingly taking that knife for jeno.

ꔫ

You’re going to be fine, rest assured. After being rushed to the infirmary, they got a solid report on you a couple of hours later. You were currently sleeping, even after losing a solid amount of blood, the doctors were able to get you in a stable condition. The only problem was that you would be put on bed rest for two weeks- just to be safe.

Jaemin was the one who filled him in on all the details, even though jeno can see jaemin’s just as affected as he is.

It was the first time your team ever had to call backup.

It was the first time they ever saw you so lifeless and small- when after missions you were always so lively and cheerful and just there.

And this was the first time you weren’t.

Jeno feels so weak.

He can barely even function. The others force him to go home and recharge, get a good night’s sleep to process everything.

Jeno feels so weak when jaemin has to be the one to stay back and report everything while he returns to the safety of his apartment.

Jeno feels so weak knowing it was his fault.

He keeps replaying that moment. The moment the man snuck up behind him, your terrified scream of his name, the glint of that red-stained knife, the last look you gave him.

He swore all the guys were down- how did one get back up?

It was his fault. Jeno’s carelessness- in all five years of this job and three working with you and jaemin as a team- he’s never done this before.

He’s never been the reason behind your pain before.

ꔫ

He received daily updates on you from jaemin.

You woke up.

You were recovering well.

You said you missed jeno and asked why he wasn’t there.

Okay, so maybe it’s been three days, and jeno still hasn’t worked up the courage to visit you.

It’s not that he didn’t want to see you- oh no, if anything, he definitely wanted to be there. Jeno wanted to see your bright face so badly and feel comforted and relieved that you were okay. But every time he takes a glance in the direction of the infirmary where you were currently staying, he feels all the emotions rush to his head at once.

Anger, pain, sadness, guilt. Mainly guilt.

And the fact that he can’t help but see your stricken face and last moments whenever he takes a single step in your direction.

But jeno misses you. He didn’t realize it before, but he really misses you. Jaemin doesn’t even pressure him to go visit you at least once or ask why the reasoning behind why he hasn’t gone.

So jeno slowly builds up the confidence to finally visit you. He shows up three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes later at the room you were currently stationed in, carrying a stuffed plushie of your favorite cartoon character in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other.

He grunts, adjusting his stuff so he can knock on the door lightly to alert you of his presence. Jeno hears your voice- a soft “come in!” and he gulps.

Inhaling and exhaling, he gently pushes the door open. You’re sitting up in the hospital bed patiently, eyes open wide with curiosity as to who could be visiting you now.

And for some reason, the first thought that comes to his head is that you still looked so pretty.

Even with your messy bed hair and dark circles under your eyes- not the forget the fact that you literally got stabbed a few days ago- jeno can’t take his gaze off you.

If anything, your eyes get even wider once you catch sight of him.

“Jeno?”

He shows a tentative smile. “Y/n?”

Your mouth opens, but then you stop and sit back onto the raised bed with a small humph!, wincing when you fall back a little too hard.

Jeno immediately rushes to your side, examining you and asking if you’re okay.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Still, you refuse to look him in the eye, arms crossed and chin tilted high.

And for good reason.

He sighs, placing the goods he brought on the desk to your side and sitting down in a nearby chair. He repeats your name. But you don’t budge.

“Please look at me,” jeno pleads. Your head turns to him for a split second before looking away again.

“Alright, fine. I’m really sorry.”

You don’t say anything, but he catches your stoic expression faltering.

“And second, thank you. Thank you for saving my life, y/n.”

Your hands drop to your side, and jeno frowns when he sees your picked fingers- he picked up on the habit you did when you were stressed.

Finally, you clear your throat and speak. “You’re welcome. But I don’t accept your apology. It’s been days, and you don’t even visit me once? I was thinking you hated me for-“

He immediately cuts you off. “I would never hate you.”

A puff of air escapes your lips. “Okay, but it still doesn’t explain your behavior.”

“I know, I know,” jeno says, staring down at his lap. “I was just so shocked from it all.”

He bites his lip, voice hoarse.

“But mostly, I felt so guilty. Like I was the bad guy.”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.

“Because I was the reason you got hurt. It was my stupid actions and not paying attention that caused you to get hurt.”

Jeno ducks his head, hands tightly clasped together and eyes squeezed shut. “I’m so sorry, y/n. You could’ve died, and it would’ve been all because of me.“

“Don’t apologize anymore,” you respond sharply.

“It was my decision to take the knife for you, and I would do that over and over again, no questions asked.” Your voice softens, and your hand comes to rest on his, making his eyes snap open and breath hitch.

“Besides, I knew I would be perfectly fine. A knife never stopped me, you know that.”

Jeno glances up and he’s met with your normal happy-go-lucky face and sparkling eyes.

He can’t help but smile back, paying no mind to the quickening pace of his heart.

ꔫ

After that day, jeno tries his best to come in daily to see you. Since your team’s missions were put on hold until you fully recovered, he practically had nothing to do anyway.

Sometimes he would bring snacks or games to entertain you since you complained about how boring it was to stay inside all day. You did protest in the beginning, telling him not to waste his time with you when he could be doing much more important work- but not once did jeno ever think being with you was a waste of time.

And sometimes jaemin would be hanging out with you already, in the middle of telling you a joke that you can’t help but already start giggling at when jeno knocks on the door before coming in with his goodies of the day.

He would pause for a second after seeing you two, a strange uncomfortable feeling rising in his chest, and then you would notice jeno‘s presence and force him to join you and jaemin, the fleeting feeling then forgotten until the next time.

But the moments when jeno comes in and it’s just you there by yourself, he can’t ignore the rush of adrenaline he gets.

It doesn’t fail to occur every time he spots your lovely face, already greeting him with a sparkle in your eyes.

Since when did he start feeling this certain way? Jeno’s worked with you for years, performed countless missions by your side, and somehow, he only realizes it now. After that one fated day, it’s like everything’s changed. And even if it may not seem like it for you, it certainly has for him.

Jeno wonders why he’s never noticed it before. He wonders when the warmth just from being in your presence truly started.

ꔫ

And from then on, you secure a certain and stable spot in jeno’s heart.

At first, he swore it was just because of how selfless you were, bravely running in front of him and saving his life, jeno thought he was just eternally grateful and held a copious amount of admiration for you. But as time goes on and you’re back on your feet, raring to start up tasks again, he can’t deny that it’s not just admiration.

He knows that his heart beats faster and his palms get sweaty whenever you spot him and your face lights up. It’s obvious, right?

Jeno likes you. But the real question was- did you like him back?

It’s about a week since you were released from the infirmary, slowly training and building back up to get in top fit shape and start on missions again like you so desperately wanted to do.

You send jeno a small smile when he joins you at a table, carrying a stack of old papers to file through. It never fails to make jeno blush- and if you notice, you don’t say anything.

There’s a relaxing silence, you munching on a snack as jeno focuses on organizing, the office is weirdly quiet today.

But the silence doesn’t last for long, you jump in your seat when jeno lets out a small hiss of pain, and you glance over to see him holding his finger, eyebrows furrowed.

“Hm? What did you do?”

He looks up at you sheepishly, “paper cut.”

You click your tongue while shaking your head, getting up to walk to your desk a couple of strides away and returning with a band-aid in hand.

Jeno grins when he sees the cute teddy bear pattern on it, he expects no less from you. “Why do you always have bandaids around?” He questions, amused.

“Because I know you guys, and you guys always do dumb stuff like this.”

His mouth drops open, about to object, but abruptly closes it when you gently take his hand, unwrapping the bandaid deftly and wrapping it around the small inflicted wound.

He gulps, watching you work with such concentration on a minor thing like a small paper cut. Your nimble fingers make him feel ticklish, and he resists the urge to squirm from a simple act like this.

Once you finish, you sit back with a satisfied look.

He mutters thanks, and you shake your head with a pout. “Jeno, you need to take care of yourself better.”

And then a hand lands on your head, and you jump, quickly looking around.

Jaemin laughs, easily slipping into the seat next to you. “What’s up?”

You roll your eyes. “Jeno was being careless and- oh! that reminds me, you too jaemin!”

His pleased expression suddenly turns bewildered. “What?”

“You’re never getting enough sleep! -and I can tell cause you were drinking your nasty coffee earlier and the bags under your eyes are-“

You ramble on, continuing to nag at jaemin as he only watches you with an endeared smile.

ꔫ

Today is a bad day. Simply one of those days where you just wake up with that feeling and know that today’s just not it.

But that happens to everyone. It’s common and nothing you haven’t experienced before.

You hope going to work and seeing your friends will cheer you up a little. Spoiler- it doesn’t. Jeno and jaemin are assigned to an easy mission on the field today, and you’re not allowed to go with them. The doctors tell you that you still have to wait at least four more days until you can get back to doing missions with them- no exceptions.

The one thing you so desperately wish to do gets crushed in a matter of seconds.

So yes, today was a bad day.

No amount of protesting will get you out of it, so you’re left to walk out of your boss’s office extremely frustrated and upset.

Jeno and jaemin try to comfort you, sending sympathized looks, but it’s to no avail. You assure them you’ll be fine and force them to get ready instead of worrying about you, left at your desk to pout and mope.

Why can’t you go?

You’re feeling great and better than ever. The mission is so simple. There’s absolutely no reason you can’t go along with them.

Jeno notices you sulking alone, and even though he has to leave with jaemin, he quickly runs out to get some stuff before heading out.

When you get back to your station after going to the bathroom- to just stare at the mirror for no reason in particular, (yes, it was one of those life questioning moments) you find some of your favorite snacks stacked in the middle with a small note on top.

‘cheer up! i know you’ll get through this :) -j ’

You frown, looking around, and your frown deepens when you realize jeno and jaemin left already to go on their fun adventure without you.

You question your desk mates if they saw whoever did this, and they shake their heads. The handwriting was super scrawly and messy- you had no clue whose it was. Obviously, the signed j was a clue, and your mind immediately thinks of either jaemin or jeno. But you guys are so close- why would they leave it at your desk and not just give it to you personally?

You let out another sigh for the 100th time today, angrily ripping open the snack and stuffing a handful in your mouth. It was delicious, of course, and you’re thankful to whoever got this for you, but now there’s another thing you have to do to add to your burdens already. Find out who did this -albeit with good intentions- and pay them back.

And in order not to feel like a complete failure, you stay at the office late, buried in paperwork until everyone else has left and you’re alone. Or so you thought.

You were so focused you completely forgot about jeno and jaemin. Did they come back alright? You figured they probably left you be to not bother you and break your concentration.

Groaning, you get up and stretch, looking around at the dark room and empty desks. You’re about to gather your stuff and leave when you spot a bright pink sticky note on your office wall.

You squint, not remembering anyone leaving that there before, and curiously take it from the wall.

‘man, i wish i could get some ice’

You raise an eyebrow. Is this a prank? Was someone trying to troll you or was it just a mistake?

You want to ignore it and just leave, but curiosity overtakes you. Rereading the note, you contemplate. Ice? The only ice available at the office was from the fridge.

No, you reassure yourself, you’re just being dumb. It’s probably nothing. But still, you find yourself hesitantly making your way to the kitchen area. It never hurt to check, right?

And surprisingly, there’s the same pink sticky note pasted on the fridge door. Eyebrows raised, you quickly take it, not expecting there to actually be another one.

‘i need to find my gear... where could it be?’

You already know the answer. Or at least, you think you do. Everyone stores their gear and equipment at their lockers, no brainer.

You smile triumphantly when you spot the familiar bright pink hanging off a random locker door. Eagerly, you snatch it off and read the contents.

‘ah. i ran out of paper.’

You snort. Whoever wrote these was getting lazy.

To be honest, you had no clue why this was so entertaining to you -it could literally be a prank and lead to nothing for all you know. Nevertheless, it’s an excitement you haven’t had in a while- like your own mission to find out the source of these mysterious notes.

Quickly skipping over to the copy room, you take another note off the printer.

‘it’s cold outside. i want to look out from above.’

You frown. Look out from above? Your eyes travel over the room, looking for any sign of something up high- before it eventually catches on the sign signaling the stairs leading up.

You smack yourself in stupidity. Of course. your building had a rooftop- one you really never had a reason to go to. At least, not until now.

You push past the doors to go up, quickly climbing up two steps at a time to reach the top. Once you see the exit outside, you hesitate.

What if there was nothing? What if you’re luring yourself into a trap?

You shake your head, reassuring yourself it was fine. Even if someone was trying to murder you, you can take care of yourself.

Gently pushing the door open, you peek outside.

The night sky promptly greets you, stars shining brightly above. There are a few lights placed around to brighten the place up, but your attention is focused on the tiny set up in the middle of the rooftop.

It’s not too extravagant, really- just a simple table with two chairs overlooking the city, but small and cute decorations adorn the place.

You cautiously walk over, and you notice a stuffed bunny sitting in one of the chairs. Curious, you move closer to examine it.

It looks like a harmless stuffed bunny, and after a few seconds pass with nothing dangerous happening, you slowly sit down in the other chair across from the toy.

You’re not sure what you’re waiting for, or why this whole setup is here, but you take the chance to glance out and admire the scenery, shivering at the wind blowing past.

It’s cold and windy, but the view is beautiful. The city below you, bright lights, and life just going on as you sit back and watch it all. It’s so peaceful, and for once your mind is clear and blank. You sit down in the other empty chair and stare for some time, not paying attention to your surroundings.

And then a finger pokes your side, and you whip around, body tense and alert until you catch sight of who it is and falter.

“Jaemin?”

“What are you doing here?”

He smiles. “Took you long enough to get here.”

You gasp. “Did you do all this?” You pause, processing everything before looking back up at him in horror. “How long did you wait for me?”

He rolls his eyes. “A long time.” You wince, mouth opening to apologize, but he cuts you off with a chuckle. “I’m joking. After we came back from the mission, it was already kinda late. And then it took some time to set this up, so don’t worry.”

He’s smiling down at you, and it’s contagious. You can’t help but feel the corners of your lips raise as well. Jaemin removes the bunny and sits down in the chair next to you, wordlessly handing it to you.

You examine it, finding it to be quite adorable and soft. You giggle, looking back at him and thinking of his bunny agenda. “Is this supposed to represent you?”

He shoots you a mysterious look back, eyes twinkling. “What do you think?”

You pretend to think, tapping a finger on your chin, “well.... bunnies are cute but-“

“So you think I’m cute?” He waggles his eyebrows.

Your face heats up in embarrassment and you threateningly raise a fist at him, watching as he giggles, enjoying your flustered state a little too much.

“You didn’t let me finish!”

Jaemin’s smile widens, eyes crinkling. “Okay, you can finish now.”

You scoff, turning away from him. “I don’t feel like it anymore,” you grumble.

He laughs again, hand coming to pet the top of your head. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to rile you up so I could see you not looking sad or glum today.”

You look down at your hands, clearing your throat in an attempt to ignore the weird thumping in your chest. “Oh, well... did you really stay back and do all this?”

He shrugs, looking past at the sight below.

“I know it was a rough day for you.”

You swallow, staring at the bunny in your arms. “But you didn’t have to.”

“Plus waiting for me,” you lamely add.

“I wanted to. It’s normal to be sad right now, you know. You have every right to feel upset, so there’s no need to pretend everything’s fine with me. Okay?”

“Yeah,” you clear your throat. “I’m fine now. it was immature of me to be complaining and sulking over people just looking out for me and my health. I feel bad for-“ your voice gets caught in your throat and you bite your lip.

For some reason, you’re embarrassed. Embarrassed because you’re emotional and don’t want to cry right now, so you avert your gaze to the city, sucking in a breath and staring ahead.

Jaemin waits for a little before speaking up.

“You don’t have to talk. We can just sit here. I figured you didn’t want to be lonely. That’s all.”

You feel shy, messing with the fuzzy bunny to distract yourself. Your voice comes out small but you’re still extremely touched. “Thank you nana. You made my day a lot better.”

“Anything for you, y/n.”

You clutch your hand to your chest, over your heart. The night is chilly, but his words keep you warm inside. Strangely, his presence is enough.

You spend some time just sitting there together in silence, admiring the city lights, night sky, everything, and anything. But the day’s events eventually cause you to get sleepy, and jaemin does too.

A giggle escapes you when jaemin yawns right after you do, and he has the audacity to look offended. “Why are you laughing? Yawns are contagious- which means you did this to me.”

You shake your head in amusement, grabbing his hand to tug him up. “Let’s go home and get some rest. We did a lot of work today.”

He groans, getting up and looking around. “How long did we stay out here?”

“I don’t know. But don’t we have to clean all this up?”

“Nah, I can do it tomorrow. It’s late.”

You shoot him a look and he raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“If you’re gonna clean it tomorrow, you better tell me so I can come up and help you.” You glare at him and he playfully salutes.

“Yes sir!”

You’re about to leave the bunny behind and set it neatly on the chair, but jaemin swiftly shoots a hand out, preventing you.

You glance at him, bewildered.

He looks away sheepishly. “Keep it. I got it for you.”

You blink, before letting out a laugh and clutching it tightly to your chest. Cute.

“Okay. I promise.”

ꔫ

How did you get here?

Well, more importantly, why did jeno drunkenly call you?

You show up disheveled- obviously, since he ruined your movie night and his friends basically forced you to come to pick his wasted butt up.

You heave a sigh in defeat, glancing around the tables before finally finding jeno and his buddies.

You try to hide your concern by keeping your arms crossed as you make your way over. The sight of jeno hugging the table while surrounded by his friends laughing at him greets you. “Oh my god- how much did you drink?”

Jeno immediately sits up, eyes gleaming. “You came!”

His friends crowd around him, looking at you with hungry eyes like a predator would at its prey. “So you’re the y/n?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I came. And yes, I’m y/n.” Upon further examination, you frown, noticing jaemin isn’t here. Excluding jeno, it’s all strangers and unfamiliar faces looking back at you. “How did you guys know my name?”

One of them snorts. “Of course we know who jeno’s girlfriend is.”

You scrunch your face up. “What? I’m not his girlfriend.” You look over at jeno for support, but he’s slumped over, cheek flat on the table and mumbling some random things you don’t care to hear.

“Ugh- whatever. Jeno?” You call out, gently shaking his shoulder. “Let's get you home.”

He groans, and with the help of one friend, you get one of his arms across your shoulder, supporting some of his weight.

“Thanks y/n!”

“Sorry, your boyfriend has surprisingly a lower tolerance than we thought.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You grunt -jeno was much heavier than you expected- but it falls on deaf ears as you walk out of the crowded place. Well, all except for jeno’s.

He frowns, looking at you like a hurt puppy, but his tone and voice come out serious. “Is the thought of dating me that bad? Do you think I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend?”

Your mouth drops open as you let go of your hold on jeno and stare at him, wide-eyed.

What?

You exhale in frustration, ignoring his words and quickly blaming it on him being drunk. But he doesn’t budge, staring at you earnestly, and you yank his arm helplessly. “Come on, jeno. We need to get home.”

And with another desperate tug from you, his body unfreezes and staggers closer to you, causing your bodies to be almost pressed together.

Jeno doesn’t seem fazed, while you flinch at the sudden proximity. His stare is strong, eyes searching yours fervently.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

A surge of heat rushes through your body and you avoid his intense gaze, stuttering hotly, “W-what are you even talking about?! Ya-just-let’s go.”

You grab his hand and stumble out of the place, into the dark night.

You huff, dragging him over to your car. “Where’s jaemin? Did he not come?”

“I dunno. He said he was busyyy.”

You wonder where jaemin possibly could be, but jeno loses his footing while walking and your thoughts are pushed back to focus on helping him. Somehow, he gets into the passenger seat, and you carefully buckle the seatbelt over him.

Once you get in and onto the road, all without a single word spoken, you glance over to jeno curiously. He stares out the window, looking up at the passing cloudy sky, no moon in sight.

“You know,” you start, “you should drink more responsibly. We have work tomorrow.”

He looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “But when I feel bad, I drink. I drink so I don’t have to think about it.”

You frown. “What’s making you feel bad?”

Jeno shifts in his seat, voice small. “Things. Feelings. They’re confusing. How do you find the answer? How can you tell if what you want is right?”

How can you tell if the person you want wants you back? is what he wishes to say, but he swallows it, keeping it inside for another day.

The ride is silent for some time, leaving his spoken thoughts to simmer until you exhale.

“I don’t know, jeno. I honestly have no clue either.

Once you arrive at his place, you assist him out of the car, barely making it through his door.

He crashes into bed, whining, and you gently tuck him in.

After jeno seems settled, you get up to leave him to rest, but a hand on your wrist prevents you.

You slowly look back. His eyes are still closed, body sprawled out on the bed, but his grip on your arm stays.

“Stay,” he breathes. Whether he’s awake or asleep talking unconsciously, you’re not sure. But you hesitate, staring down at him.

You think jeno falls asleep, breathing slowly evening out and hand loosening its hold on yours before falling to the side. You smile softly, adjusting his blankets and fixing his bangs delicately.

“Cheer up, jeno. I hope you find an answer to whatever’s bothering you.”

And with that, you turn and make your way home without a single look back.

And sometime after you’re gone, one of jeno’s eyes just barely peek open to see an empty room, no sign of you.

Jeno sighs, already falling back under.

How can he tell you that you’re the only answer he needs?

ꔫ

Just two more days until you can get back to missions.

You remind yourself of that, repeating it constantly from the moment you wake up. It’s no surprise you didn’t get good sleep last night- for one, the whole drunk jeno situation. and two, the stuff his friends said.... and what jeno himself said as well.

All the boyfriend talk made you uncomfortable. It’s not like you didn’t want to find the right person for you, at the right time, but it still made you awkward thinking of your friend in a different light you’ve never thought of him in before.

You can’t sleep when his face keeps appearing, words echoing in your brain.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

You smack yourself. No. Stop. Enough of that.

In the morning, you busy yourself with paperwork, only stopping when jaemin sneaks up from behind to scare you. It doesn’t work.

You grin, turning around to catch him mid-act. “How many times are you going to try this?”

He pouts, arms dropping to his side. “As many as it takes for me to properly scare you.”

Letting out a huff, you open your mouth to retort back but your sight lands on a very familiar figure entering the office.

When you spot jeno, your mind instantly flashes back to yesterday. His eyes meet yours and you quickly avert your gaze, trying to reimmerse yourself in conversation with jaemin.

Jeno frowns, wondering what the sudden act was for. But at the same time, he was definitely hungover and although you kindly left medicine and water by his bed yesterday night, he was still feeling like crap.

He walks over to you two, and you abruptly tense.

“Hey, y/n, jaemin.”

“Hi.” You cringe, your voice sounding not as casual and natural as you hoped.

Jaemin gets called over to assist a co-worker, and jeno takes the opportunity.

“Thanks about last night. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what my friends were thinking.”

You gulp. “It’s fine. You’re welcome.”

And then you proceed to spin around and pretend to focus on work, your back to him. (As if you had any work left when you stayed back and did it all a few days ago.)

Jeno shrugs, assuming you must be busy or something along the lines of that so he leaves you be. But for the rest of the day, you avoid as much interaction with him as possible. Whenever jeno tries to talk to you, you give short and curt answers back, not trusting what would spill out of your mouth if you spoke anymore.

Around lunchtime, Jeno sits at his desk, spinning in circles and wondering what possibly happened with you. Could it be something he did last night?

He exhales, getting up to grab some water from the kitchen. And lo and behold, you’re already there, filling up your own bottle.

He waits for a second, gauging your reaction, and there’s no way he can mistake the sight of your body stiffening and the way you avoid his gaze.

“Y/n?”

Your grip on the bottle tightens. “Uh-yeah?”

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something last night?”

The sound of the water filtering stops, and you fumble, trying to find the right words.

“Do you not remember?”

He stops, rubbing his temple in irritation. “Not really? I just know you had to come and pick me up. Again, I’m really sorry...”

“Ah.” You feel a slight sense of comfort. So he really doesn’t remember anything he said... “Well, it’s nothing, your friends just said some weird things, and I-“

He quickly interrupts you, ears turning pink. “Listen, ignore anything I or my friends said last night. A lot of nonsense comes out of our mouths when we’re drunk, so I fully apologize on their behalf. I can talk to them and-”

You internally heave a huge sigh of relief when he says that, heart somewhat at ease now.

“No-no, it’s alright...,” you fiercely shake your head.

“Oh, okay.” Jeno’s hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck self-consciously.

You finally allow yourself to relax, noticing his messy hair and biting your lip to hold back a laugh. “Jeno- did you do your hair this morning?”

You reach to fix the stray hairs, patting some flyaways down, when his hand shoots up, grabbing your wrist and stopping you effectively.

You freeze, smile slowly falling while staring at jeno in shock and confusion, his hand still keeping yours on top of his head in place. Jeno looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

One beat.

Two beats.

You swallow.

“Jen?” You ask tentatively.

He snaps out of it, blushing and removing his grip from your wrist, causing your arm to fall back down at your side.

“Oh-yeah. Sorry. I’ll get going now. Good luck with your work today.” He dashes off, leaving you to stand there alone.

You shiver, brushing over the spot where he held your wrist. What was that all about?

ꔫ

After lunch, you decide to stop by jaemin’s desk, wanting to ask if he’s attending the party tomorrow night.

You eagerly roll your chair over, wheels squeaking against the carpeted floor.

“Hey jaem-“

Your chair comes to a slow.

You find Jaemin at his desk, using his arms as a pillow as he sleeps peacefully, head turned to the side and slow breaths huffing in and out.

You quietly laugh to yourself. Scooting closer, you allow yourself to watch him for a second, glad that he was getting some rest instead of constantly working, helping other people out at work, or helping others by volunteering.

You unconsciously lean closer, fingers lightly brushing his hair from his face and watching his body peacefully rise and fall.

Jaemin was always the person everyone went to for assistance. Everyone adored jaemin. You wonder why he’s never dated anyone in the time you’ve known him- he and jeno were always popular and well-liked.

You fall into a daze watching him, just from how peaceful he looks, losing track of the time.

And then his eyes shoot open, and you jump back slightly, startled.

He doesn’t move from his position, just simply staring back at you, and for a second you can do nothing but stare back.

And then he breaks into a sleepy but still amused grin, apples of his cheeks protruding clearly.

“How long have you been awake?” You ask slowly, cautiously.

“How long have you been staring at me?” He counters back.

You let out an embarrassing sound, scooting back.

“Doesn’t matter. It was just shocking to see you getting some rest for once.”

He raises an eyebrow but you ignore it, attempting to get back on topic. “Anyways, are you going to the party tomorrow?”

“What party?” Jaemin asks bluntly.

You should’ve guessed that he didn’t know. “Our division’s hosting a party tomorrow at 7. To celebrate the 8th anniversary or something like that. It’s supposed to be fun though. Are you going?”

He purses his lips, running through his mental schedule and future plans. “I suppose I can.”

You fake a gasp. “The na jaemin actually has time to go to a party?”

He jokingly pushes your chair away from him in revenge, but it’s so sudden that you jerk and lose your balance in the seat, about to tip the chair and fall over.

Thank goodness for his overly trained reflexes that allow him to lunge forward and catch the sides of your chair, safely stabilizing it while he’s positioned over you.

You quickly glance up at him, heart racing and adrenaline pumped. It doesn’t get better when you notice his arms caging you in.

Jaemin’s concerned expression meets your shocked one, and when he asks if you’re okay, you simply can’t function, opting to just gaze up at him with wide eyes.

“-y/n???”

You come back to your senses, rapidly nodding and ignoring the rest of his worried questions. Returning to your desk, you bang your head against the hard surface, mind jumbled. You just need a break from men.

It feels like forever until it’s finally time to go home. Your body feels sluggish and brain fried as you make your way out the door. Locating your car, you somehow spot the two people you really don’t want to see after what happened earlier -with the both of them.

You recoil, quickly avoiding jeno and jaemin like a frightened mouse and speedwalking over to your car. Once you get in, you let out a sigh of relief, finally getting a chance alone to think about today’s developments.

Is it just you, or are jeno and jaemin acting so strange recently- especially after you got stabbed?

Before, you would’ve said that your teammates were the people you could trust with anything and everything. But lately, they’re the two people that have been driving you crazy.

You rub your eyes in defeat. Everything’s confusing- it feels like everything’s changed.

But one question remains.

How exactly?

ꔫ

Ryujin drags you along next to her, ignoring your complaints about the outfit she chose for you.

She worked in a different division from you, meaning you didn’t get to see her often, though you were still able to keep in contact. It felt like meeting up with an old friend occasionally, there were never any awkwardness or boring moments.

And somehow, she managed to sneak her way into your division’s party. (popular people things, you grumbled.)

“It feels like we’re going to a college party again.”

You shake your head. “Don’t remind me of those.”

You fiddle with your clothes for the nth time, ryujin having picked an outfit you would’ve never worn on your own accord.

“I’m regretting letting you choose what to wear for me.”

She only laughs. “Yeah-well, too late now! Besides, you look really good, so who cares?”

“Me!”

Ryujin ignores you, glancing around at the apartment doors and looking for the right number.

“Ah, here it is. Number 55.”

You knock on the door, and it slowly opens to reveal one of your coworker's apartment.

There’s a fair amount of people already there, chatting away or dancing to the subtle music.

Good, at least it wasn’t like those cringy college parties with ear-deafening music and the stench of pure alcohol filling the place.

Your eyes travel across the room, taking it all in.

“Are you looking for him?” Ryujin teases, nudging your side. Your eyes flick back to her, a confused look in them. “What do you mean?”

She rolls her eyes, “Who else would I be talking about? Obviously-

She gets cut off by lia, running over to the two do you with a squeal.

“Y/n, you look so pretty!!”

You shake your head, embarrassed.

“I’m surprised you didn’t come with jeno and jaemin,” she remarks.

Your mouth opens. That’s right, you totally forgot about them. Searching around, you finally spot both of them playing beer pong with a couple more of your coworkers.

Smiling, you excuse yourself to greet them.

“Getting the party started without me?” You tease, walking over to the table.

Everyone turns at the sound of your voice. Jaemin, mid-shot about to throw the ball, stops when he sees you.

Jeno swallows, eyes taking in your appearance.

You frown at the lack of response. “Guys?”

Immediately, everything resumes. They all greet you, and jeno hands you a cup.

“It’s light, don’t worry.” You nod in thanks, taking a sip.

He suddenly feels hot, hands picking at his shirt. “You look really good.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, it’s probably just because you’ve only ever seen me in my work clothes or pajamas.”

Jeno shakes his head shyly. “I mean it.”

The air suddenly feels weird, so you shuffle a bit, clearing your throat.

“Oh. Thanks, I guess?”

The party resumes with you hanging out with the boys and occasionally talking to other friends. But it’s been a while since you’ve gone out like this, and eventually, you start to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Jeno and jaemin quickly take notice of your quiet behavior and short replies.

Jaemin nudges your side softly. “Are you okay?”

You feel yourself faintly nod, trying your best to take a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s just a little stuffy in here.”

At your words, jeno and jaemin both start, immediately offering you water at the same time.

You hesitate, staring down at both of their outstretched hands.

“Uh,” you awkwardly laugh, getting up. “It’s alright. I’m just gonna go to the restroom....”

You don’t. You walk over to the kitchen, quickly obtaining and downing a glass of water with a satisfied exhale at the end. And then, instead of returning to the rest of the group, you take a detour to the balcony, quietly stepping out into the cold night and shutting the door behind you.

Jeno gets increasingly worried. It’s been like 15 minutes and you still haven’t returned. He asks jaemin, and he only shrugs, saying something about how you probably needed some space.

But it’s not a good enough answer for him, so jeno goes to check the bathroom, and as expected, you’re not there.

And in fact, you’re not anywhere inside as far as his he can tell. Anxious, he begins to go around, asking a few people if they’ve seen you. Most of them shake their heads, stating unhelpful information referring to your location.

But eventually, while waking his way past the kitchen, he hears your voice. It comes from outside, past the door that leads to the balcony.

Jeno stops, listening for a second. He can pick up on another person’s voice along with yours- he believes it’s your friend - the one whose name started with an R?

Your voices are faint, and he quietly leans in closer to the door, holding his breath and praying you don’t notice his presence.

“-you like him, huh?”

He hears your soft voice. “Again? What are you talking about, Ryu?”

Right, he thinks. Your friend's name was ryujin.

“Don’t act oblivious. You two have been teammates for so long now- I can tell.”

Then jeno hears noises that he assumes are you getting flustered and he has to hold back a laugh.

But then the sounds of shuffling suddenly start, and jeno barely hides away past the corner -thank his spy training.

Jeno presumes that ryujin gets up and heads back inside, closing the door and leaving you alone again.

He counts 15 seconds before walking over to the door and gently opening it. He’s greeted by the sight of you, staring up at the sky, and his breath is stolen away once again.

But you turn at the noise, relaxing when you spot jeno.

“Oh. Hey. What’s up?”

He hums, sitting in the chair next to you. “I didn’t know where you went.”

“But you found me,” you remark dryly.

“....where’s jaemin?”

Jeno shrugs, having forgotten about jaemin in his quest to find you.

Maybe the tranquil silence between you two and the breathtaking sight in front of him is what causes him to reflect on everything.

“Y/n,” he speaks up after a while.

You nod, waiting for him to continue.

“I know I’ve said this a bunch of times, but thank you for saving me.”

“Didn’t I already tell you to let that go?” You joke.

“Yeah, but I want to keep saying it because I truly mean it. I’ll always be grateful because of what you did. I still feel terrible for not paying attention-“

You place a hand over his, and he falters.

You don’t look at him though, gaze still locked in front of you. “I already accepted your apology, jeno...”

“But am I still allowed to feel horrible about that time I practically forced you to come and pick a drunk me up?”

You giggle, removing your hand from his, and jeno unconsciously frowns at the loss of contact.

“If it makes you feel any better, then sure. But....” you start.

He nods, gesturing for you to keep going.

“What was bothering you that night? You said you drank so much because you felt bad.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you quickly add.

Jeno exhales a long breath through his nose. He debates internally, switching back and forth between the options.

Is there any way for him to say that he likes you? That jeno likes you- a lot?

And that he doesn’t know if you like him back?

Sometimes, he thinks the smiles you send him are special, different from the ones you give to others. Or whenever he thinks about the time you took care of him, helped him, sacrificed your life for him, he believes it could be something more.

But at the same time, jeno doubts himself. He can’t help but wonder if you really do feel the same way or if it’s just you being you. You’re always smiling at everyone, helping others out whenever you got the chance- being the selfless, admirable person you are.

He stayed up countless nights, replaying and overanalyzing all the interactions you had with him throughout the day, wondering, hoping, wishing.

“I like someone,” jeno finally speaks.

But before you can react, he continues. “And I don’t know if they like me back.”

He looks down at the ground, his voice quiet. “Because I’m just me, you know? There's honestly nothing special about me. I can’t even work up the courage to confess- what would they even like about me?”

“She probably doesn’t even like me back,” he finishes.

You wait, letting his words fully sink in.

And then you let out a short, dry laugh, and he quickly glances up at you, bewildered at your low tone- a sudden change in the air surrounding you.

“Is this really what was bothering you that night?”

“-are you really doubting yourself, lee jeno? Did you forget how great of a person you are? How hardworking and strong you are? How kind and thoughtful you are? You’re a good guy, and anyone would be a fool not to see that.”

Your eyes hold a certain intensity to them, never once breaking eye contact with his.

Maybe you said something else, maybe you weren’t done talking, but jeno isn’t sure.

He suddenly felt a rush of hope when you were speaking -at the look on your face when you talked about him so seriously and with so much conviction.

So much to the point where he can’t stop himself.

It’s like his body has a mind of its own, forcing Jeno to lean in towards you, face coming much closer to yours.

You trail off, noticing his sudden bold move. He doesn’t say anything, eyes flicking down to your lips.

Your breath hitches.

You don’t know how to react to the sudden intimacy, so you simply stop, body locking up and heart thundering in your chest.

Jeno brings you closer as your eyes widen, not a single part of you moving as you internally panic.

“Hey, who’s out here-“

Jeno falters, eyes flying open.

You take the chance to scoot back, breathless, and quickly get up to meet the eyes of the person who burst outside and essentially ruined the moment.

Thank god it wasn’t any of your friends- just the apartment’s owner who simply wanted to know who was outside.

After quickly explaining, it’s a golden opportunity for you to get the heck out of there, internally thanking them for coming out at that moment.

Quickly apologizing, you make your escape, fumbling past the door and back into the party, looking for your belongings and searching for the exit.

You don’t bothering telling anyone about your departure, instead coming face to face with a confused ryujin, to which you explain that you’re tired (not a lie) and need to go back home and make sure you didn’t get robbed (also not entirely a lie, you really had no clue if you locked your doors or not).

And with that, you clumsily put your shoes on and push past her, ignoring the startled protests and questions.

Your mind is buzzing, the alcohol not helping one bit.

As you continue on the path back to the comforting solidarity of your home, you can’t help but think back to what occurred earlier.

What just happened?

You don’t even want to imagine it, but it seemed like jeno was trying to...

kiss you.

maybe? right?

You run a hand over your face, having an internal crisis.

Hah, no way.

Was he just that drunk? Like that one time you had to pick him up?

Should you just disregard what happened this time as well?

Are you making a big deal out of nothing? Was it just an accident and you misunderstood his intentions?

Everything feels so overwhelming and confusing, once you get home, you immediately collapse into bed and force yourself to fall asleep and not have to think about it anymore.

And it’s very much a good thing that you did because your boss sends you and the boys on a mission the next evening.

And yeah, maybe you were still feeling like crap and hungover, but it was your first mission after getting stabbed. Even when you’ve been on countless missions- ones much harder than the one you were about to embark on- you still felt the nervousness and anxiety to perform well and succeed in your stomach.

And luckily, or maybe not so luckily, you didn’t have any time to discuss what occurred last night between you and jeno.

He stays quiet the whole ride, and you’re not sure whether to be grateful or concerned.

Jaemin worriedly asks you about where you went last night, and you shrug, saying something about how you were tired and wanted to go home early.

The atmosphere in the car is weird, and you want to blame it on the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve been out as a team, but you all know it’s more than that.

Shutting your eyes shut, you decide to put it all away for now.

This was your job, and you couldn’t let personal matters get involved.

“You guys ready?” jaemin asks, and the three of you share a look before you nod.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

The driver pulls up, and it’s strangely giving you a sense of deja vu when you get out of the car and into the dark and windy night, as well as an ominous feeling, like something horrible was going to happen- but you brushed it off and blamed it on your nerves.

You recall the words of your boss- just look around the area for anything suspicious and report back. Fortunately, you’re outside at an abandoned plaza, a large lake in the middle of it, making the location seem much bigger than it was.

Your instincts immediately come back as you glance around, taking in your surroundings.

The area was suspected to be taken over by an unidentified group working against your organization, so you decided to split up and cover more ground to search for anything fishy.

“Jaemin, I think you can search the general outside area, around the lake and stuff.”

He nods at your words, adjusting his earpiece.

“I’ll go near the bridge,” jeno murmurs and you exhale, still taking in your surroundings.

“Alright, let’s go.”

And before you can make any moves, you feel both of your hands being grabbed, your body getting tugged in opposite directions.

You let out a small yelp in surprise, glancing around to find jeno having taken one of your hands to pull you one way while jaemin did the same with your other hand, pulling you the opposite way in his direction.

There’s an awkward moment as they realize what they both just did.

And still, a few seconds pass while you glance back and forth between the two and neither jaemin nor jeno have yet to let go of you.

Nervously laughing, you shake off both of their hands, muttering, “I’ll just go to that building over there... y-you know, by myself....”

As quick as possible, you make your escape (once again) briskly walking away from your teammates while still keeping an eye out.

There’s nothing suspicious around, but you still have an unsettled feeling in your stomach that won’t go away, no matter how much you reassure yourself.

Walking out of the building, you catch sight of jeno. You still, awkwardly standing in the doorway and debating whether to go over to him or hide- even when there was absolutely no reason to be hiding from him.

Either way, you don’t get to decide as he spots you and frantically heads your way, looking panicked, which immediately sets you off.

Breathless, he runs towards you, and you tense, examining his current condition.

“What? What is it jeno?”

He takes a quick glance around before pulling you back inside the building urgently as you stammer indignantly.

“There are guys,” he gasps. “Spotted them coming this way.”

You curse, trying to hide from the open spots through the building’s windows.

“That’s not it,” jeno adds, voice lowering to a whisper. “It’s the same gang from before.”

Your eyes widen as you press a hand to your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“How many?”

Jeno blinks. “At least seven.”

“What are we going to do?” Your heart rate quickens as you remember your other teammate.

“Shoot, what about jaem? He’s still out there- does he know?”

Jeno lets out a frustrated sigh. “No- I spotted you first and quickly tried to get us to hide. I totally forgot.”

Exhaling, you press your earpiece, speaking softly,

“Jaem. Jaemin? Can you hear us?”

The two of you wait patiently, but there’s no response.

You repeat his name, and so does jeno.

There’s nothing.

Your anxiety increases and jeno softly squeezes your arm to comfort you.

“I’m sure jaemin’s fine, he can take care of himself.”

You frown, head snapping up to him. “How do you know that? Jaemin might not have any clue and those guys could easily spot him wandering around. He could get ambushed and since there’s more than-“

You get interrupted by the sound of approaching voices, apprehension striking you through the heart.

It takes everything in you not to make a sound as jeno pulls you closer to him, lessening the space between you and also the chance of anyone spotting your figure just barely peeking out.

You close your eyes, the sound of your soft breaths filling the air as you just focus on the feeling of his hand on your back, the noises from the people passing by getting fainter and fainter.

Once you confirm the coast is clear, you immediately back away, ignoring how jeno clears his throat and running a hand through your hair in stress.

You could always attack, you had no doubt in your abilities, but there was no telling how many more guys there were and if it would blow your cover or not.

“Are you sure there were seven?”

He frowns. “As far as I could tell...”

You squeeze your eyes shut, muttering, “I know we could take them on, but- there’s no telling if they have backup or if they’re planning to do something here at this time or not.”

Jeno nods solemnly, cautiously moving towards a window and peeking out as you continue to try and contact jaemin.

“It’s hard to tell,” he whispers, “but I think they’re leaving.”

Your eyes fly open, silently making your way to the window to glance out. You squint, the darkness obscuring your vision of the shadowy figures outside.

But jeno seems to be right, they seem to be packing up and leaving- although you’re not quite sure what they came here to do in the first place.

It feels like forever- waiting for them to slowly leave the area, plus a few extra minutes to confirm.

You pick at your hands anxiously, waiting. Where was jaemin? Did he get hurt? Why was he not responding?

Jeno finally gives the okay, and you leap to your feet, not caring anymore and bursting your way out of the building.

Gasping for air, you frantically search the whole area, running all around the place and calling for jaemin as jeno struggles to keep up with you- pleading for you to slow down a little.

You pay no heed to his words, the wind blowing your hair past and head whipping from side to side as you call out, voice hoarse, “Jaemin?”

You hear a faint shuffle, and your eyes zero in the spot near the fountain, where some benches are.

Your legs work on their own accord, bringing you closer as you call for jaemin once again.

You hear a muffled response, and adrenaline rushes through you.

Jaemin squeezes out from between one of the benches and a large positioned rock, looking albeit a little shaken but otherwise seeming unharmed and normal.

And for some reason, you can’t control yourself, running over to him and placing your hands on his face, sides, everywhere.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

He swallows. “I’m alright. I spotted those guys luckily before they spotted me, and somehow found this spot to hide. It was good that they stopped pretty close to where I was hiding- I was able to hear some of their conversations.”

You bristle. “It was good? How could it be good when you almost got spotted?

You hear jeno come up from behind, catching his breath from chasing after you. “Thank goodness you’re safe- why didn’t you answer us through the earpiece?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I couldn’t make any noise or else they would find me.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “Yeah, well you could’ve done at least something. We had no idea what could’ve happened to you- if you got hurt or needed help!”

They both look surprised at your outburst. Jaemin raises an eyebrow. “ Chill y/n, I’m alright. You don’t have to be so worried-“

“How can I not be so worried when I almost lost you?” Your chest heaves and your fists are clamped tightly in balls to contain your frustration at his reaction to this situation.

How could he be so calm about this?

Jeno watches from the side, speechless.

Jaemin takes a step closer to you, confused and still a little shocked, and you take one back while staring furiously back at him.

“Lost me?” Y/n, you wouldn’t have lost me, because you know I can take fend for myself. These kinds of things happen all the time on our missions, I don’t get why you’re so worked up over this-“

“Because I have feelings for you, idiot!”

Oh.

There it was.

You inhale sharply, turning around and furiously stalking away. To where- you’re not sure, but you do know that you just need to get away from this place.

Jeno and jaemin stand there, unsure of what to do or say.

But jeno wasn’t unsure of what to say. He simply had nothing to say at all.

He wants to go after you, starting in your direction, but jaemin’s oddly quiet and low voice stops him.

“Don’t. Leave her alone for a while.”

And the tone in his voice tells jeno that jaemin wants to be left alone for a while too as he eventually stalks off.

Jeno stands there, alone, wondering if this was how it was really meant to be.

ꔫ

You walk for a long time.

A long time back to your place. Somehow, you do it.

There’s a lot of things that fuel your stamina.

Anger, frustration, confusion.

For one, you had absolutely no idea why you just randomly shouted out in a fit of anger that you liked jaemin.

Because you weren’t even sure if you did or not.

And of course, the whole jeno situation as well.

You’ve never thought of jeno differently before- in a romantic way before.

And when he almost kissed you?

They both make your head hurt, spin in circles until you can’t think straight anymore.

Since when did things change?

Since when did all these feelings get involved and complicate your entire relationship with each other?

You feel tired, your legs taking you back to the one place you want to go back to, the place where you can be alone.

Once you miraculously make your way to your familiar home, the sight seeming so much more welcoming than it ever did, you collapse into bed, feeling the most exhausted you’ve ever felt.

It’s the only thing you can do now- simply because you don’t want to do anything else.

And the next morning, you avoid everyone’s calls, concerned messages wondering about where you are and why you haven’t gone to work this morning.

Instead, you decide to do what you do best. Ignore everyone and shut yourself out from the world.

You do contact your boss and tell him that you’re taking a short break for personal reasons- even when you just returned back to your job.

And answer when ryujin texts you, blowing up your phone the second she found out you were “taking a break”.

Ryu (7:36am): what’s going on

Ryu (7:36am): why are you suddenly not going to work

Ryu (7:37am): y/n

Ryu (7:37am): answer me

Ryu (7:38am): answer

you (8:02am): I can’t believe im saying this

you (8:02am): But

Ryu (8:03am): omg you’re alive

you (8:04am): Boy problems

Ryu (8:04am): what

you (8:04am): Yeah

you (8:05am): That’s it

Ryu (8:05am): wait huh with who tho

you (8:06am): ...

Ryu (8:07am): oh

Ryu (8:07am): oh no

You turn your phone off for the rest of the day, feeling conflicted.

Was it childish of you to just cancel work to avoid two guys?

Was it childish to run away from your feelings?

You get an answer that night- in the form of a knock at your door.

You lazily get up, casually swinging the door open with no regard for who was behind it.

Once you get a glimpse of who it is, you stop in your tracks, heart stopping as you stare at him.

“-What are you doing here?”

He stares at you with desperate eyes. Those eyes. When you were stabbed. When you were upset from being stuck on bed rest and not able to do anything. When you were alone and he was there to comfort you.

With the same eyes you’ve probably looked at him with a million times before- you’ve just never realized until recently.

And then his lips on are yours, and you automatically entangle your hands into his hair.

The door shuts behind him with a frantic slam, effectively sealing the plans for your night.

ꔫ

Spending days away from everyone and everything allowed you to really reflect on everything that happened in the past month.

Getting stabbed, taking a break from work, finding out what was really hidden deep inside you- what was what you needed and wanted.

You were grateful to have the best teammates, ones that were selfless and always took care of you.

Especially now, after you got hurt and suspended from work, you were still grateful and appreciative of both jeno and jaemin.

Even when certain things and situations confused you, brought new feelings and secrets arise, you would never change a thing.

And when you sneak a glance to the guy still sleeping peacefully by your side, arms wrapped around tightly around you like he’s afraid you would escape or leave, you take the chance to look at him- truly look at him and all his features in a way you’ve always done before, but could never figure it out.

You always admired that jaemin was always the one taking care of everyone else- always selfless and thinking of others.

Always understanding and knowing what to do.

He’s always there.

And it took a lot more for you to realize that’s what you wanted, and that maybe the two of you are more alike than you thought.

Maybe you do like jaemin. Maybe you’ve liked jaemin for a long time and just never realized it.

And maybe you just want to love on him back a little.

(but just remove all the previous maybes.)

ꔫ

Jeno’s surprised to see you return to work that day- although late, but still here nonetheless.

You look much better and lively- he wonders what could’ve happened. (even when deep down, he already knows what must’ve happened.)

It’s hard to ignore the private whispers and looks that you and jaemin share, like you have a secret or inside joke that only jeno doesn’t know about, but obviously, it‘s just further proof that there’s something going on between you two.

And it’s hard to hide his true emotions in front of you and pretend that everything’s okay.

Pretend that you and jaemin together weren’t killing him on the inside and the fact that you’ve only ever thought of jeno as a friend wasn’t true.

Jeno so desperately wished that he realized he always liked you for a long time before, maybe even since the beginning.

Maybe things would have been different. Maybe if he knew earlier and told you sooner, you wouldn’t have discovered and revealed your feelings for jaemin.

Jeno also wishes that he knew that you never returned his own feelings at that time. Right when you jumped in front of him and said those five words the day you almost lost your life.

And yet, the smile on your face and sparkle in your eyes directed towards jeno is the same- maybe even a bit brighter now as he was all too familiar with the looks and laughs you sent his way before.

He wishes he knew it didn’t mean anything, and he didn’t fall for that smile.

Like the one, you’re sending to him now.

“Hey jeno, we’re gonna go grab some food. Wanna come?”

He grimaces and shakes his head, muttering some excuse about how he needs to watch his caloric intake.

It wasn’t that -he would gladly take food any day. But his appetite was gone. And to be honest, it had been for a while.

As he watches you walk off with jaemin, hands lovingly intertwined, that’s when he realizes it.

Yes, you might’ve saved jeno’s life, and you might’ve even been the love of his life -if he truly thought about it- but he was never yours.

And he never would be.

a/n: the fact that i had to use a random decider to choose the ending bc nomin things :) anyways if you made it to the end then ty for reading

taglist: @skrtbabe

reminder- any kind of feedback is always appreciated :)

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