#I would love to see all of the mains’ premium package

[dwshipconfessions]

yknow what have some (extra) shipnames ive been thinking of cause ive somewhat ran out of juice for hcs. probably will share some more later

Polymains = Premium Package/Pro Pack PolyStarters (Poppy, Boxten, Cosmo, Tisha, and Shrimpo) = Starter Pack FlowerLamp = Educational VHS (VHS are like tapes, right?), Projector (some old projectors uses tapes, and what else does a projector need? A light source, like how Brightney is a light source)

Also to the anon who shared the Cosmo x Sprout x Dandy x Astro hc? May I recommend shipnames like: MidnightPlantBaking or DreamBotanicTreat??? idk brain juice low

Avid FlowerLamp shipper

Gonna bake some plants at midnight with MidnightPlantBaking

Good ship names though ^_^

[formulawolff]

x. bringing the heat in miami - t.w.

pairing: female driver! x toto wolff

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, lewd humor, age gap relationship, ANGST, naughty text messages, banter, light flirting, toto being down astronomically bad (like actually in the trenches) yadayadayada

prev. | next.

party in the city where the heat is on 

all night, on the beach till the break of dawn

“welcome to miami”

“bienvenidos a miami"

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will smith’s infamous track fills your ears as you stroll in through the main gate of the track, fans clustered in thick waves. your name is called more times than you can count. posters, caps, shirts, you name it, wave about, begging to be signed. 

the sun shines overhead, casting bright, fiery light all around. although it was only around eight in the morning, humidity clung to the air, creating a sticky, dewy sensation on your exposed skin. fluffy clouds drift along, carried by a breeze as it rolls through. 

god, the weather was perfect.

hopefully it would be like this on race day.

“welcome to miamiiii,” alex bobs his head, singing along to the music, “are you excited? it is your home turf, after all.”

“if we were in phoenix, i think i would feel a little closer to home,” you suppress a giggle, “but yes, i am really fucking excited. everyone loves a race in their home country.”

“we’ll be in austin soon enough in october,,” alex shrugs, “when we’re in austin, i need you to show me how to ride a bull and teach me how to perfect that smooth texas drawl. i want to be like one of those little aunties who always say, ‘y’all come back now!’ like dolly parton! ” 

“you’re ridiculous,” the giggles blossom into a full-on laugh, “you don’t just start speaking with a southern accent. that’s not how that works.”

“sure it is,” alex nods, “hey, your parents are coming out for the race, right?”

“yes sir! they will finally get to see their baby girl in action!”

“they didn’t come out for a single grand prix last year?” alex raises a brow.

“i wasn’t winning races last year,” you counter, “i told them not to worry about spending that money during my rookie year. not everyone’s parents are loaded, you know.”

which, was a true statement. 

your parents had invested their time, hard-earned cash, weekends off, and a portion of their lives to get you here. you didn’t expect them to fly out for every single grand prix, make every event, or pay another dime towards your expenses. 

unlike many of the drivers, you were not born into an extremely lavish lifestyle. your parents were modest people, who happened to have a child later in life. ever since you were born, they lived in the same house, drove the same vehicles, and got by adequately. since they both worked full-time, getting you into the racing world was no simple feat. 

yet, they were determined to make your dreams become a reality. after years of careful coordination to the karting tracks, weekends devoted to races, and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent, you were offered a contract with williams racing. of course, you accepted that offer graciously. 

now, you were steadily paying your parents back for their dedication. once you signed your contract and those zeroes hit your bank account, you went out to the nearest dealership, purchasing a suburu wrx. with the premium package, at that. 

you would never forget your dad’s face the moment you pulled into the driveway, beaming as you placed the keys in his hand. 

that was one of the only moments you had ever watched him cry, wrapping you up in a tight, loving embrace.

“you didn’t have to do this. being your father is a gift in itself.”

“but you deserve it. you’ve sacrificed so much so that i could be in this position.”

“and you deserve nothing but the best, baby girl. you are going to be one of the greatest drivers formula one has ever seen. you make us so proud. keep making us proud. keep defying those odds. keep making history, baby girl.”

keep making history, baby girl.

as you stroll into the paddock, greeting the engineers, pit crew, and other team members, you can’t shake that feeling brewing deep within. 

it’s is a fiery desire, setting you ablaze with determination. 

you were going to keep making history. 

you were going to be the first american to win the miami grand prix. 

you were going to be the first woman to win two consecutive grand prixes. 

you were going to be the first woman to earn that title of world champion. 

you were going to chase that high. by any means possible. 

and nothing was going to stop you now. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“look at him,” lewis hamilton shakes his head, “he looks absolutely pitiful.”

“you think his little relationship is on the rocks?” 

“quite the contrary mate,” lewis remarks, folding his arms across his chest, “i think it’s more like the poor man is depraved. obviously the euphoria has worn off. he’s come down from that high. the man is craving more. plain and simple. a hand can only do–”

“i don’t need the mental image of my team principal wanking off,” george russell scoffs, rubbing his temple, “fuck, that is disgusting, lewis.”

toto wolff stood a few meters away from the drivers, engaged in deep conversation with bono and members of the crew. now that lewis knew the truth, he couldn’t help but notice how much power that american girl held over the team principal. it was almost as if he were deep in a trance, under some sort of spell. 

it was pitiful, really. just the sight of her was enough to send the team principal spiraling, intoxicated off her alluring aura. not like lewis could blame toto, though. there was no denying that the woman was extremely breathtaking. 

with her stunning features, witty mouth, unapologetic personality, and angelic presence, she was practically miss america.

well, not practically. 

she was miss america.  

everyone adored her. lewis could barely go throughout his morning without hearing her name being mentioned. whether it was fans, journalists, social media, even members of the mercedes crew, she was the hot topic of formula one, taking the world by storm.

toto was a lucky man. an extremely lucky man. 

if only she was into men her age. 

“my apologies mate,” lewis nudges george with his elbow playfully, “did we have anything going on today? any obligations?”

george’s brow furrow, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, “if we’re being honest, i can’t really remember. i think something to do with monster energy, maybe.”

“perfect,” lewis licks his lower lip, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

time to text that little assistant. 

in all seriousness, he felt horrible for taking advantage of that young girl. she was only nineteen for fuck’s sakes, a fresh face to mercedes at the start of the 2024 season. that made her the perfect target to do his bidding. 

well, it wasn’t really bidding. 

more like investigative journalism. 

at least, that’s what lewis told himself to feel a little less guilty for what he was about to do. 

hey, do you by chance know toto’s schedule today?

seconds later, little text bubbles appear. 

he was meeting with you guys this morning, then he has an interview with the press around two-thirty p.m. it’s nothing super serious, just a brief session entailing his thoughts for the weekend. at four, he has a zoom call with a few of the mercedes execs. after that, he told me he was going to be out for the remainder of the evening. why? 

hmmm. how convenient. 

i was just curious. thanks for letting me know! i appreciate you, natila. 

of course, mr. hamilton! let me know if you need anything else! :))) 

it was now or never. go time.

after the meeting with the mercedes executives, lewis hamilton was going to knock on toto wolff’s door. he was going to stroll into that office, settling into one of those plush leather chairs. and before toto had the opportunity to speak, lewis was going to confront him about that american girl. 

how he was going to start that conversation, he had no idea. that would come to him in time as he went about his day, meeting with sponsors, flashing that lovely lewis smile, flirting with the reporters just a little. not too much so that it was obvious, but enough to make them blush a tad, giggling as they scrambled to stick to their script. 

but for now, it was time to focus on the matters at hand. 

across the track, a dutch driver strolls through the crowds, a jersey in one hand, phone in the other. glancing down at his screen, he curses under his breath at the throng of people. why were there so many people? where did they all come from? 

pausing for a moment, he taps his screen, thumb gliding through his contacts. 

“hey, where are you again?”

“we’re in the williams paddock!” her voice is an octave higher than usual, more than likely from anticipation, “we’ll see you soon!”

“sounds good,” max verstappen stifles a chuckle as he hears a voice on the other end, the words firm, demanding almost.  

“honey, who are you talking to? who’s coming over here?” 

“mom, please, just let me be on the phone for two seconds,” she exhales, “okay, i have to go. i’ll see you soon!” 

the walk to the williams paddock was excruciating, as max had to bob and weave through the masses to avoid reporters, potential sponsors, and any individual who called his name. it’s not like he didn’t like the fame that came with his success, it’s just that he didn’t like the constant cameras in his face. the prying questions. the intrusive comments. 

sometimes he wished he could just blend in, be like any other face in the crowd. yet, how could he when he was max verstappen? 

yet, as he steps into the paddock, he makes out the williams driver, her parents hovering around her as she introduces them to various members of the crew. at the sight, max can’t help but feel the corners of his lips curl into a smile as he notices the sheer and utter pride plastered across their faces. 

and they had every right to be proud of you. 

you earned it. 

“goedemorgen,” max clears his throat, raising his hand for a small wave, “i just came to stop by.”

the instant your mom realizes who is standing before her in the paddock, her eyes widen, lips parting, “oh my gosh – honey. look who it is!” 

“good morning max,” your laughter rings like bells as you cross over to the dutch driver, “how are you?”

“pretty good,” he nods, sticking out his right hand, “hallo, i’m max.”

your dad shakes his hand, squeezing it firmly, “nice to meet ya, max. i’m tony. this is my wife, heather.”

“pleased to meet you,” max beams, turning to your mom, “i brought something for you today. your daughter mentioned that you were a big fan of mine. so, i brought this jersey for you. she let me know your shirt size, so it should fit perfectly. my signature is on there somewhere, but i just can’t quite remember where.”

graciously, heather accepts the jersey, her eyes glossy, shifting to you as she wipes a tear, “oh, honey, you planned this?”

“of course i did,” wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you pull her in for a hug, “i couldn’t bear the thought of you guys attending the race without meeting any of my friends. besides, you deserve an all-inclusive experience at your first grand prix.”

“besides,” max shoots you a wink, “i wanted to meet the woman who crafted such a talented driver.”

at max’s compliment, your mom’s face flushes, “oh please! i can barely make it on the freeway without having a nervous breakdown. i don’t know how she can drive these things. it amazes me how confident she is and–.”

“i could show you,” max offers, “i have some free time tomorrow. i’m sure we could all meet up somewhere and i could take you for a spin, show you the ropes. how does that sound?”

“oh max,” your mom waves a hand, “you do not–”

“but i want to. it’s no issue. no issue at all.” 

“then it’s a plan,” you can’t help but grin as your moms’ eyes light up, “what time works for you, max? since it’s only thursday, we’ll have some time in the morning before the practice laps. or, we could go after. whatever works for you.”

“let’s go in the morning,” max suggests, checking his phone, “i think i can make a few calls. have someone bring in a car. we’ll take it out on the track.”

“is that allowed?” your mom arches a brow, “i just don’t want you two to get in any sort of trouble. 

“oh mom,” you roll your eyes playfully, gesturing to max, “that is max verstappen. whatever max verstappen wants, max verstappen gets.”

“she’s not wrong.”

“okay fine,” your mom nods, and you feel a giggle forming at her overprotective nature. 

“just don’t give me a heart attack out there, max. i have a very important race to watch on sunday.”

as your parents talk to max, alex making his way into the conversation, you feel the buzz of your phone in your pocket. carefully, you fish it out, ensuring to shield your screen from your mom’s wandering gaze. 

this is unbearable. i need to see you tonight. are you going to have any free time? i vaguely recall you mentioning that your parents were going to be here. i will take no offense if you would like to spend time with them. i know you do not get to see them often. 

i need to be inside you, schatzi. i can’t think straight right now because the only thing i can think about is fucking that perfect pussy of yours. 

i miss my golden girl. more than anything. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“lewis? this is a pleasant surprise.”

“how’s it going mate?” lewis hamilton bears a quaint smile as he settles into a chair, face-to-face with the team principal, “things going well?”

“eh,” toto shrugs, his head bowed as he types away on his phone, “same old shit, you know.” 

“things going well with the horseback rider?”

oh, so he wasn’t going to drop it. silently, toto curses the attentive nature of his british driver, “they’re fine.”

“so,” lewis leans back, folding his arms across his chest, “when were you going to fess up and admit that your little girlfriend doesn’t ride horses?”

“i don’t understand what you–”

lewis scoffs, clicking his tongue, “i know exactly who your little girlfriend is because she’s a few spaces ahead of me on the grid.”

shit.

the expression painting lewis’ features is brimmed with satisfaction, his gaze piercing right through the team principal as he shifts uneasily in his desk chair, running a hand through his hair. 

toto was well aware that lewis had completely blindsided him, pinning him in a corner. it was quite literally perfect timing, as the team principal was merely minutes away from organizing his things, shutting down his computer, and heading out the door, well on his way to his golden girl. 

well played, lewis. well played. 

yet, he had to maintain his composure. he had to maintain that poker face as lewis cocks his head, prompting him to formulate some sort of witty retort. 

“i’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“bullshit,” lewis shakes his head, “you’re not a very good liar, toto. you of all people should know that i can read you like a bloody book. how long has this been going on?”

well, he had to fess up now. lewis would continue to call him out on his shit if he kept up with the lies. letting out a shaky breath, the team principal hangs his head in defeat, his heart thumping against his rib-cage, wiping his damp palms on his slacks.

no going back now. time to come clean. 

“since she won in jeddah. but if we’re being technical, it started in bahrain.”

“wait,” lewis sticks his hands up, squeezing his eyes shut, “pause. this has been going on since the start of the season? for weeks you’ve been sneaking around, meeting up with her in secret or something? was she the one who came to brackley between melbourne and suzuka?”

with all of the questions pouring from lewis’ mouth, toto’s mind reeled, a swirling torrent of anxiety, fear, and disappointment. his cheeks burn with shame, tinged pink. 

“yes, she was.”

tilting his head, lewis’ lips purse, “you like her?”

“well isn’t that blatantly fucking obvious,” propping his elbows on the desk, he massages his temples with his fingers, “how did you find out?”

“it wasn’t hard,” lewis shrugs, “i mean, i see the way you look at her.” 

toto’s eyes narrow at lewis’ vague response, “how. did. you. find. out?”

“natila texted me about it,” lewis coughs, averting the team principal’s beady stare, “she may have heard a conversation or two.” 

“regarding?” toto presses, satisfaction pumping in his veins as lewis starts to crack, shifting in the chair, “come on, lewis. you can’t just march in here and demand answers from me without sharing your sources. what did natila hear?”

“she heard the entire conversation you had with the drive to survive crew while we were in suzuka. they mentioned that they had footage of you walking over to her motorhome. that’s all natila heard. don’t fire the poor girl,” the words were rushed, breathy, “it was my fault. i asked her what she heard. i told her i would pay her if she told me what she knew.”

“well,” toto blinks, swallowing thickly, “did you end up paying her?”

“only like five thousand.”

“that’s quite a large sum over something you could have just asked me about personally,” clasping his hands together, toto raises a brow, “why didn’t you just come to me instead?”

“because you got so fucking defensive the first time i asked about it!” 

lewis did have a point. 

a good point, at that.

it was not like the team principal would have withheld information regarding his developing relationship with the williams driver. it was more like he feared what would ensue if he did share what had transpired. he trusted lewis, he really did. additionally, it wasn’t like this was just some average woman. his career, her future, and so much more were at stake. the benefits of keeping it all under wraps greatly outweighed the risk of discovery. 

more importantly, he was protective of his golden girl. 

she was his little escape from it all. a breath of fresh air after excruciatingly long nights in the paddock or disappointing days on the track. she was his sun, shining her vivid, warm, golden rays into his dreary and dull life. 

sure, toto was a billionaire. but money was not everything. 

nearly every day, toto’s mind wandered to their time spent together in brackley. the way she felt against his skin. the way her shy smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. the way her fingers felt intertwined with his. the way her lashes fluttered as she slept, lips parted ever so slightly. the way his hands roamed her curves, relishing the softness of her. 

that memory alone was worth far more than the number of zeroes in his bank account. 

“you’re falling in love, aren’t you?”

lewis’ voice is low, dangerously quiet. yet, there’s a curious glint in his eyes, the bitterness and anger no longer present. his body language is more relaxed, legs crossed, the driver fiddling with his thumbs. 

“i –” toto stutters, scrambling to find the right words, “yes, i am.”

“does she know?” 

“no,” he inhales sharply, “she doesn’t.”

“you want to tell her though, don’t you?”

“it would just feel rushed,” the team principal dismisses lewis’ inquiry, his voice hardening, “i have to be realistic here. no one falls in love that quickly. that’s just petulant.”

“well look at it this way,” lewis offers, “if you’ve had your eye on her for some time, then it’s really not that rushed. clearly, if you’re feeling those emotions so deeply, then it’s accumulated over time. i don’t want to pry, but how long have you been attracted to her?”

“you don’t want to know,” a chuckle rumbles in the team principal’s chest, “it’s embarrassing, really.”

“no, no, no,” lewis tuts, “tell me, toto. how long?”

“december 2022, when she signed her contract with williams. when i saw that photo of her, i knew i had to have her. last summer, in monaco, i may have slipped up and approached her at the afterparty. i flirted with her, but she dismissed me. so, i kept my distance. however, it was just growing harder and harder to stay away. it was impulsive, that night in bahrain. but i wanted to make a move before anyone else got to her.”

as toto finishes, he can’t help but notice lewis’ smirk, “holy shit, toto. you’ve been wrapped around her finger for quite some time then, yeah?”

“i wouldn’t say that–” toto begins, clicking his tongue, yet, he’s swiftly cut off as a new figure cracks open the door. 

george russell leans against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. his lips are pressed together, forming a tightly wound frown. 

“way to include me in the gossip session, guys. what did i miss? clearly, quite a lot. if you don’t mind, i would like to join the conversation. toto, would you start from the top? even though i’ve already heard most of it, when were you going to bring it to my attention that you were fucking that bloody williams driver?”

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taglist: @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010  @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @swifth0lic

as always, if i forgot to include you, please let me know! thank you all for the continuous support! i love y'all sm!! <33

[just6f]

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[danwhobrowses]

WWE Summerslam 2022 - Quickfire Thoughts and Reaction

A new era has begun in WWE, Triple H is back in the creative chair and has promised some shakeups

While Raw and Smackdowns have taken place since, this is the first true event where the McMahon-Helmsley era of WWE ownership begins. Let's see how it goes

Spoilers for the PPV

Kickoff

I'll be honest, I didn't watch the Kickoff, I scrubbed through the video and since there were 0 matches again, I didn't bother.

Main Card

Ah they're still calling it a 'premium live event'?

Those sound like peppered boos from Becky and is that an Alundra Blayze-themed attire?

Commentary noting that Becky went through a full on losing streak only to win 2 matches and get a title shot does expose the poor booking choice though

Bianca doing a blue chaps attire for hometown Nashville

No quickfire squash for this one, thankfully

I also want to take this moment to say Fuck Kevin Dunn for attempting to derail Becky and others from getting tv time and pushes simply because he didn't get a hard on for them. This is meant to be a wrestling show, and Becky is beautiful anyway

Becky whipping out Diamond Dust now? Love seeing wrestlers whip out a new move

That Manhandle Slam sell was great too, completely folded

Super Spanish Fly and KOD wins it for Bianca. It was a good match, strong opener, not better than their Mania show stealer but that is a high bar

And a handshake hints at a face turn maybe? Would be overdue because the crowd reaction has always been strong for Becky even as a heel

But now Bayley is back! And she brought Io and Kota!!!

Trips making a statement; 3 big Black and Gold NXT names back (long overdue callups too because 2.0 was not working for them), women's opener and the hometown girl wins.

I will have to wonder though, because all 3 women deserve to be world champion and there's only 2 main roster titles, unless Trips intend to bring back Black and Gold. I guess they could reignite the women's tag titles but I feel like Trips would want Sasha and Naomi back as a priority

Ha, Logan Paul didn't get cheered even against Miz XD Didn't even get new attire

Camera is getting over the top again

Is, Paul selling the Figure Four he has locked in? He kept shooting back like he had been poked in the eye

Ciampa is about to get ejected (effectively by being caught on the apron) but refuses so AJ's music plays to blindside him

Table spot to try and pop the crowd, very Shane McMahon move

Maryse is caught on the apron: doesn't get ejected

Paul wins via Skull Crushing Finale from dodging being hit by a...polaroid? It was, fine, kinda by the numbers aside from two moonsaults, I don't care for it really

Didn't care for the Maximum Male Models ad put right in between a Brock and Reigns package...

No love for Theory, still

Ash yes, because nothing says USA like Leeds United FC

Briefcase attack pre-match for heat and to imply doubt

Match was pretty short really, Lashley missed the spear, so Theory tried to do a rolling Cutter but got Gorilla Pressed into the Hurt Lock. Didn't need to be there, but I guess tapping quickly is Theory's plan for staying fresh for the main event

Hmmm, more 2 day Manias, who was the one who didn't want it again?

I don't agree with Road Dogg on a lot of things, but I do agree that WWE book Rey as a terrible babyface; he never wins the feud even when it's personal, most of his wins involve interference or cheating and he approves matches like this knowing Rhea will get involved

Also McDonalds colours is not it guys

It's No DQ why are there still legal tags?

Rhea please you're too beautiful to make me pay attention to the match

Rey is 47 remember, he's still this good and deserves more. I hope before he retires (a sad day that'll be) he has a Liger-esque tour of dream matches across all promotions

Edgy Edge comes back mid-match, spearing the JDs to set up a 619 after Rhea thwarted it

Surprised but not mad that the Mysterios won, but it did feel like they were just props for Edge's return, the No DQ format was barely even used too

Owens will for sure benefit from Trips' booking

The Joker even showed up to Summerslam

Couldn't get Seven Nation Army again I see

Reminder that including this, McAfee has had only 2 more matches than Logan Paul and two happened on the same night

Ugh, Ref Bump leads to McAfee low blowing Corbin and then a Code Red

I must admit it still smarts me that there are full time wrestlers booked worse than a commentator

Drew came out to promote Clash at the Castle, it was a good promo tbf, Drew's a great Babyface

Can't do a PPV in an American Football stadium without using their cheerleaders

Those holograms were not in sync

Ha! 'You lose, you go to the bottom of the ladder' is one hell of a lie

The pop-up neckbreaker was a nice move

Tezzy don't do it

*sigh* Welp, Profits lost AGAIN, credit to Jarrett calling it down the middle but it does defeat the drama of having a special guest ref. Didn't get any post-match or heel turn either

So now I ask again, what do we do with the tag division? There's not a Babyface team out there that's able to beat the Usos now, Mysterios are feuding with JD with Edge and New Day are feuding with the Viking Raiders

And we're bringing Charlotte back with a package reminding how much WWE has overpushed her

That is 1000000 times less Kid Rock than I ever needed to see...

Riddle's here too calling out Seth despite not being cleared

Seth comes out, brawls and stomps Riddle before leaving, asking the question why?

Ronda's mascara job is another miss

Liv getting the bigger pop than Ronda still

What. Was That? Let's not ignore the fact that bell to bell that was 4 and a half minutes long, but this was basically Liv being squashed and having a dusty win by the fact that she tapped out (before 3 as well) while pinning Ronda who had her in an armbar just to spare Rousey's blushes

Was this really to turn Ronda heel? Attacking Liv and the Ref, because we made Liv look so damn weak for no reason but to keep Rousey looking strong. It's always the same kind of defeat with her too

Ugh, Mayor of Knox County

Really stretching their 'first time evers' by saying it's the first Last Man Standing Match of Summerslam

Start the main event with a promo, okay

Lesnar here with a tractor that apparently Roman never saw when coming down the ramp

Judy Bagwell thanking her lucky stars she isn't on that thing, but it reminds me of Lesnar vs Big Show's stretcher match, right down to diving off the vehicle

This was just a squash trade to start, Brock beat down Roman using the steps and barricade, then Roman beat down Brock with table bumps, then Brock beats down Roman with steps and the table fragments

After dropping him out of a tractor, Brock beat him down some more, Reigns got the Guillotine but then Brock got the Kimura, since Reigns got up he upends the entire ring with the tractor

Usos finally get involved, Heyman takes a table bump and Brock gets speared

And out comes Theory...he hits Roman with the briefcase but then gets F-5'd

Brock survives a double superkick and gets speared again, survives that so Roman beats him with the briefcase, survives some more, belt shot, survives again...this isn't dramatic

Hey now you can't start a count while the guy is still being attacked, that's a rule of the match, another belt shot and the bloodline bury Brock under furniture to 'win'

Chaotic? Yes, Good? Not sure about it, don't think I was captivated by it, just felt like they were doing big spots for the sake of it

Theory's still MITB holder too don't forget about that

Conclusion

So, Summerslam. Triple H's new vision looks to have some foundation, but it needs work still.

The opener was great, we've set up a new faction full of incredibly talented women, one I hope will be a cross-brand faction so all three can have their touch of gold (admittedly I would've brought Bayley to confront Liv rather than Bianca because SD's women's division is the one lacking depth). We also have Becky turning face which is overdue.

Despite this though, the rest of the show was fine to baffling. Don't care for Paul so the match weren't for me, Lashley match didn't need to be there either, the Mysterios got a surprise win because Edge came back (I guess Rhea vs Bianca will have to wait) which is kinda nice but also, Rey's first main card PPV win since May 2021 (if you include kickoff show then it's first since February) is due to interference, we celebrated 20 years since his debut this week. I guess Pat winning was fine too.

But the rest of the card is just muddled; Tag division is a mess, we shorthanded the SD Women's championship match to 4 and a half minutes (reminder that AEW's women's division got flack for having a 10 minute women's title match with a challenger who had beaten the champion earlier) and our finale was a mess.

Overall, good start but shoddy booking petered the show out, there's some positives to take but a lot of negatives still present from the old era. Rome, however, was not built in a day.

Results and Predictions

Bianca Belair (c) def. Becky Lynch - Pinfall via KOD Logan Paul def. The Miz (w/Maryse & Ciampa) - Pinfall via Skull-Crushing Finale Bobby Lashley (c) def. Theory - Submission via Hurt Lock The Mysterios def. Judgement Day - Pinfall on Priest by Rey via Splash Pat McAfee def. Happy Corbin - Pinfall via Code Red The Usos (c) def. Street Profits - Pinfall on Dawkins by Jimmy via 1-D Liv Morgan (c) def.? Ronda Rousey - Pinfall* [*Liv tapped to Ronda's Armbar before 3 but ref didn't see] Roman Reigns (c) (w/The Usos & Paul Heyman) def. Brock Lesnar - Lesnar does not answer the 10 count

[partnersatfazbear]

Japan Package

Yeah, another off topic post... I don’t really have anywhere else to put this, though! Maybe you guys can learn more about me. =:3

I’ve always been a collector, especially of things from Japan... COVID has basically killed that for me with EMS taking almost 2 years to return and the skyrocketing prices of goods and shipping. So, with that said, this will be my last big collection post for a very, very long time [in regards to Japanese merch, I am still collecting FNAF!]

Anyone whose read my blog knows I’ve been hyped for Legend of Mana HD Remaster... and I nabbed a few things last minute when it was announced:

A large rabbite plush! This kinda goes with my collection of yellow bunnies, so I splurged since it served more than one interest for me.

Elazul and Pearl from the Square Millennium Collection.I already had these at one point but lost Pearl along the way, so I replaced them.

Some Legend of Mana trading cards (they’re sealed) and Pokemon Gold playing card deck. This will Segway me into my Gold/HeartGold stuff...

Moo-moo milks! The top one holds cold/hot drinks and the bottom one is a metal thermos.

Lyra and co. I waited so long to complete my set for Johto... she was a pretty penny unfortunately.

A bunch of various Gold related items. I don’t know much about them. A keychain, a small toy, and a postcard book. I should probably mention I got these items before the Pokemon Scalping Craze of 2021 took effect...

Pokemon Stadium 2 CIB, Pokemon Gold CIB, some kind of physical Pokemon Heartgold thing (I believe it’s just the download card. I know it isn’t the normal game.) and finally, one of my grails-- a lightly used Johto Gameboy Color w/a cartidge of Gold.

Pokemon Johto themed Pokeballs! This was a premium Bandai exclusive. I got it for the GS ball, NGL. While taking photos, my wife noticed that all of them open... except the GS ball of course! I did get this used so it was missing the dispenser parts and candy, but I didn’t care. I have the stands and belt attatchments--so looking forward to having these when I eventually cosplay Gold/Hibiki/Ethan.

Another grail. I already had the Gold Pokedex and Pokegear. I decided to get the HeartGold Pokedex/Gear. I haven’t tried it out yet!

Since Pokemon relates to Digimon, I’ll post the tiny amount of items I got. I no longer actively collect in this community outside a few unique items that I may want, so this is the end of my Digimon collection for the most part.

Not much to say regarding these. I had an atrocious time getting the shot glass the first time around, so I finally buckled and got it via a proper proxy. Weregarurumon, although a plush I don’t particularly like, was one of the last I needed to complete the line of plushes for the Gabumon line.

I’ve been after the Tsukuda Hobby Misato Vinyl figure for years. I finally snagged her. I’ve always loved this line, but sold most of it a long time ago. I don’t really have a huge collection for Misato, but she was always my favorite and I like this piece to represent her in my collectibles.

Jack from Radiata Stories. This was to complete my Star Ocean Trading Arts set. I also got the remainder of the Valkyrie Profile Trading Arts I was missing, but I didn’t picture them because they were thoroughly wrapped and I don’t want to lose pieces when I move.

My MAIN collection is Star Ocean: the Second Story (and all of it’s iterations). If I ever make an exception to my no major packages importing rule, this would be why. An Amanesis keychain, a calendar and a small pocket book.

Okay, maybe I lied... my MAIN collection is Aerith Gainsborough... I love and adore her; always have!

Aerith photo cards! I guess they were from Skytree? I don’t remember... Also some cards for Star Ocean EX, Pokemon Gold / Silver, and Ayumi Hamasaki.

More Skytree items! These are edible. One is a bottle with hard sugar candy and the others are various suckers w/edible flowers!

It took all I had not to cry when opening the music box... lol

Lastly... I was going through some bad times last October and I really rediscovered my love for Ayumi Hamasaki circa 1999-2001. I really wanted to embrace it and went a little nuts =:p If you haven’t heard her work, I highly recommend it. In fact I think A*BEST is probably my second favorite music album of all time. It’s in my top 3 for sure!

A photobook. Some CDs! Remember how much I love A*BEST? I got the anniversary edition. Included a book, CD/DVD/BluRay combo, a shirt, and a special collectors box. AyuMiX and M~ were replacements because mine are worse for wear nowadays. LoveAPPEARS and the blue CD are new. The blue CD is actually a release BEFORE Ayumi Hamasaki’s first single--it’s pretty rare! I’m excited to hear it!

A keychain, flipflops, and a stationary type set w/a binder, clear file, stickers, ect.

An uncommon Ayu-pan! She is proportional.. as opposed to the chibi design they normally have. And a mousepad! Sold at one of her early concerts!

Vinyl records of her singles: M~ and Endless Sorrow.

A CD single style keychain and a card for Endless Sorrow rounds out the lot.

It’s been an adventure... and I’m really sad to see it end until things settle down again, IF they do...

I wanted to say I have almost all the non essentials packed for my move, so I may be able to post some actual FNAF content in a week or so! =:3 Thank you for checking out the fun with me!

[void-knights]

The Arcana Review* Edited!

[ID: Banner image featuring the text "The Arcana Review" along the bottom. In the background images of the six romanceable characters in this game.] (TL;DR at the end)

So it has been a while since I have written a review about a game. However, "The Arcana" had been recommended to me so many times, I finally decided to try it out. This is just my opinion, of the game. [Edit 1. It has been brought to my attention that all my issues could be fixed by modding the game. Yes. Yes it could. But I do not like these sorts of workarounds because these sorts of workarounds should not have to exist.] Pro: ✔ The Art is incredible, it's such a pleasing and cohesive style. ✔ The music is wonderful. ✔ The writing is good, I do truly love the world that they have built and the characters living within the world. ✔ The theme of the Tarot Cards is wonderful, it's not just a one-off gimmick like I had assumed it would be. ✔ Choose your own pronouns, She/Her, He/Him, They/Them. ✔ LGBT romances. ✔ Free to play Cons:

❌ Gambling mechanics exist in this game for you to earn premium currencies. Wish somebody had warned me (an addict) about that in this "visual novel". ❌ The cost of the premium currencies (keys and coins) of this game ❌ The sheer time investment if you cannot afford to pay. ❌ The fact that you have to watch thirty-second plus advertisements to get 50 coins (which isn't a lot). ❌ If you can't pay the price of the currencies or have watched five advertisements for 250 gold coins (which isn't much) and have used up all your keys for the day (yes twenty-four hours) then you either have to wait until the next day OR hope that Nix Hydra (the company) is doing a special social media event for you to earn even more coins/keys.

The company in response to other people's complaints (reviews on Google Play Store) actually suggests looking on their social media for these special events or doing "daily events" which is gambling. Which as an addict is not good!

I need to point out how expensive this game is! It infuriates me!

I am more used to visual novels that I can pay a flat rate for. I pay £20 and I get the complete the story, maybe there will be paid DLC for a further £5 but even then that is fucking cheaper and less time-consuming than this game. Unless you are willing to spend obscene amounts of money you cannot sit down with this visual novel/game and play through an entire romance route in one day. You cannot play it on your time, you have to wait if you cannot pay. To give an example: I played Lucio's route. To unlock "Special events" that I thought were just standard romance moments between you and the character in these types of visual novels you can pay anywhere between 150-275 coins per event. I calculated the cost of Lucio's route (only his route there are six routes each with a good/bad ending) and his two endings. (This does not include paid bonus content and additional content. Just the main story romance story route) 6975 gold coins. For one route. One character. Once you paid for it you have it. To "Save money" you can "buy a book" (which is essentially a chapter of this story) for 350 gold coins, that permanently unlock that book. This means you spend 4900 gold coins to permanently unlock all the chapters of this story. (This rate do not include the ending, but I cannot afford to pay for keys, so I am waiting for more free keys. I do not know if you need to pay anything in the endings.) But what does that mean? To put in context, if you do buy gold coins, you would have to pay for a bundle of coins.

7500 coins would cost me £93.99 3000 coins would cost me £35.99 1500 coins would cost me £18.49 750 coins would cost me £8.99 375 coins would cost me £4.59 150 coins would cost me £1.79 This is for one character. There are six characters. Six. On top of that, you get (I assume) 3 free keys in a 24-hour period by waiting 3 hours for each key to be given to you. You might get more in a 24-hour period. I don't know. But you need a key to unlock a "book" and yes you can buy keys with money. 5 keys would cost me £1.59 14 keys would cost me £4.29 30 keys would cost me £8.49 65 keys would cost me £16.99 If you want to unlock all the books at once, you would need to buy the 14 key package. All the keys do is let you progress the story. But once you have read through a route, I believe you can go back and re-read it for free. So no, you do not have to spend that money again if you want to re-read the character route. So let us say I buy 5250 gold coins plus the 14 keys that would cost me £67.76. For one character route, if I want to unlock all the romantic moments/memories. Otherwise, I can just plough through with the basic bare-bones romance. I did actually pay for 1500 gold coins to unlock some of these romantic moments, and they are significantly better than the free stuff. I would have to spend in excess of £400 to unlock all the character routes in their complete form, If i wished to experience this game like a visual novel and read over the weekend. OR I could wait for those 5 adverts to return, earning 250 gold coins for the cost of maybe 3 minutes of my time and wait 3 hours for each new key or hope that Nix Hydra is doing a sale on keys/coins. To put this in context, I was also recently recommended "When the Night Comes" by Lunaris Games. While I prefer the art of "The Arcana" When the Night Comes allows me to play a complete game. I paid £9.47 (the base rate, you can offer to pay more if you wish) for a complete story which included bonus side stories. As for the gambling mechanics THAT NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT!!! Though I should have expected it from a free game, I never expected to see it in a visual novel! It just pisses me off that so many people recommended this game. It truly is a good story/characters/world and I love Lucio. But fuck! Don't give me that "You don't have to spend money" crap. I know that. But do you seriously expect people to invest so much time and wait just to unlock the next chapter of a story?!!!

[Edit 2. So I time travelled! I do not know if this affected the outcome for my daily 'spin the wheel' results. But it took me almost three months to collect enough free coins. You earn the least amount I think 70 coins on day 1 and 240 coins on day 7 after day 7 it resets to 1. It took me over 2 months to collect enough coins to permanantly unlock all of Lucio's chapters. Including the coins I bought with actual money. You also earn 1 key every three hours. So yeah.] TL;DR | No I do not recommend this game. Fuck this expensive shit. Great art, story and characters though.

[romanceboys]

(interview) vogue korea april issue 2020 - perfect taemin

1. superm was another chance for taemin’s ever-evolving performance to be showcased. i thought a lot about how to create synergy with these exceptional performers. to put it simply, i wanted us to come off as energetic. but these days i’ve had a change of heart. our identity is definitely important. rather than just working hard, for superm to show off their colours well we need to show our personalities; we should be seen as one team. to be able to formulate a solid and clear colour is our homework. that’s why it’s regrettable. we couldn’t come up with a novel choreography to carry our new identity. we tried a lot in the practice room. superm seems to have found its musical identity but hasn’t gotten a hold of its performance character yet. the stages are too vague. 2. now that you are finally promoting with your best friend kai in one group, you two must’ve shared your concerns. since this friend is someone who has a lot of passion and ambition, he talks about various things. for instance, this style is pretty good, this choreography is quite trendy. thanks to him i’ve learned a lot. he is also very knowledgeable about the latest ‘hottest’ genres. we talk about these things often and even watch videos together. kai gives off ‘popular’ vibes. compared to him, my interests are quite unusual. nowadays kai is interested in music while i am into science. 3. is it science fiction? these days we’ve been watching videos on the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics together. 4. what aspect of it interested you? originally i was very curious, after seeing a recommended video on youtube i learned about quantum mechanics for the first time. i couldn’t understand the explanation, even those who were explaining it said it was a difficult concept. that was very fascinating to me. kind of like magic.  5. are you reading books on the subject too? the subjects of the books i read are different (laughs). there’s a book that was published long ago called ‘regarding the pain of others.’ it is a pessimistic book that gathers contradictory opinions of people for instance ‘people find joy in the pain of others, it is instinctual.’ as a celebrity, there are times when you are criticized but there are also times when you receive comfort from people. rather than blaming others, while reading this book, i began to think ‘people are like that, at most i shouldn’t behave like them.’ my interests are all over the place. 6. what makes you and kai click? we converse well. our opinions almost never clash and we respect each other. moreover, we fully understand our own roles in superm. 7. what position do you hold in superm? since i can’t ask if it’s the main dancer. in pictures and interviews, i’m the center. baekhyun hyung is the leader (laughs). 8. when the conversation wasn’t flowing well during the talkshow interview, i saw you neatly concluding it.  that does happen. nct and wayv are still in the learning phase. that’s why i first listen to all of their thoughts during interviews then flesh it out with details later. 9. compared to when you set out abroad as shinee then promoting overseas as superm now, the status of k-pop has changed. looking at how superm was able to start off with an arena tour in the us and europe made me feel that k-pop is a ‘hot’ topic. in the past, we’d use venues of this scale for smtown concerts. even if you promote mainly in asia, seeing the audience section will make you realise the perception of k-pop has changed. 10. though k-pop’s scope has expanded and diversified, its definition has become simple. what are your concerns? my first concern is language. after i was able to communicate via language during my japanese activities, there were so many advantages. though each country overseas has its own language, i felt that i needed to learn english first. there are many international fans who want to experience the chemistry between our members, they’d feel much closer to us if we communicated using (a common) language. k-pop isn’t one dimensional. it’s not only about the music, there is music video, style, etc. included. people would make dance covers in the past, now they even emulate the styling. all of this is korean pop culture. 11. superm were on the ellen degeneres show and jimmy kimmel live. before we went on the ellen show we really rehearsed the interview a lot. america’s atmosphere is different so you receive questions that are never asked in korea. they don’t disclose the questions in advance either. we were also worried because the emcee could ad-lib. we came up with the most probable questions and practiced, we also received lessons from american comedians. compared to that, we went on jimmy kimmel live without any prep. 12. what went according to plan and what didn’t? the questions were not as intense as expected, ellen was well aware about k-pop culture so it went smoothly. 13. is there a dance genre you’re into these days? contemporary, lyrical hiphop, in the future as superm i think i’ll be able to show more, not the kind of dancing that you do after learning a given choreography but the kind that is full of emotions. it’s about giving meaning to your gestures. it isn’t out yet but my concert vcr features lyrical hiphop. in it i think i’m dancing alone with a giant full moon as my backdrop but get confused when there are two of us, either it’s another person or a shadow. a choreographer with a body type similar to mine had to dress in all black to come across as my shadow. i wore an oriental outfit with smokey makeup. 14. how do you usually come up with your ideas? i get inspired by the choreographers and creative directors. i imagine it as we converse then the idea develops. 15. was there a time you were inspired by fashion? of course. art begins with the five senses. what you see with your eyes, the things you can feel, clothes, food, perfume, music that you listen to are all sources of inspiration. i create private accounts to follow fashion brands. 16. having debuted at the age of 16, you are still young but your work experience has been long. i was in certain situations because of this. it doesn’t happen as often now but even in my early 20s, i completely belonged to the senior category at broadcasting stations. they are my juniors but many of them are also hyungs, i’m their senior but i’m also the youngest. now there are even staff members who are younger than me. they’re too formal with me (laughs). 17. are there juniors that ask you for advice or help? the superm members! especially ten, he is very curious. when we come out of a company meeting, he’ll get surprised and say “wow, hyung everything you said was right.” i even hear things like ‘veteran’ and ‘seer.’ apparently my predictions come true. but i try not to advise them as much. taking the initiative to say something feels overwhelming. 18. born in 1993 between millennials and gen z, do you share any characteristics with those in your age bracket? we’ve picked out a few of their traits. the first one is ‘they don’t eat fast food.’ me too! i took care of my health well ever since i started out with shinee. i was brainwashed from home to avoid foods that harmed the body. not even ramyeon, snacks were also banned. and just like that in my 20s i started carrying out the regime on my own. it’s become a habit to look after my health ever since i moved out. i always eat things that are good for my body, if the hyungs are taking vitamins, i’d ask for one too. 19. i suddenly recall a variety show where you were the only one who skipped the sauce and ate the meat on its own! one should not eat irritable foods. my mother’s words. 20. how about ‘they watch videos on youtube rather than tv. even the ads don’t particularly bother them.’ that’s right. i watch youtube more often than tv, while watching the ads i'd even marvel at their production quality. i’ve signed up for the premium package now so i don’t see the ads anymore. 21. ‘marrying or wanting to buy their own house.’ i currently live alone and i have no interest in decking out my house. at first, i didn’t think like that but a month later my interest dissipated. i’m lazy. it’s not like my house is for others to see, i’m fine with the incomplete feeling for now. 22. and finally ‘they avoid investing in financial companies.’ i don’t do that. my parents manage that, if there’s a good tip i’ll just let them know.  23. hiphop musicians tend to express their success through music. as an idol musician how have you been using the wealth you accumulated all these years? i invest in food instead of saving up (laughs). honestly, i don’t spend much. i don’t have anything i want. though i do spend on others a lot. 24. what kind of household did you grow up in? what gifts did you inherit from your family as a musician? i inherited my body type. all of my cousins have model-like physiques, they’re taller and slimmer than me. my mother sings well. my father plays instruments as a hobby. oh, and my paternal aunt used to be a ballerina. so perhaps i inherited such genes? 25. you’ve been doing the same thing for more than 10 years. what is the purpose behind creating music and showcasing it? in the past, i would think i should do well, i need to be number one, these days i’ve become ambitious for other aspects. i take pride in the fact that my work supplies others with positive energy. i feel a sense of accomplishment when fans like my music, i want to make them as happy as i am. everyone’s profession is different but i hope this synergy gained from mutual dependence leaves a good impression. 26. are you still composing songs? i used to but now i only participate in lyric writing. it differs with each song, at times the lyrics are emotional or talk about abstract love. it seems like my next solo album will include a song i wrote the lyrics to. sometimes songs composed by overseas composers might prove too difficult for the general public to understand. so i participate a lot in the arrangement or mixing phase. i point out the parts that should be added to the composition and those that are unneeded. teacher lee soo man does give advice but it often feels like i do the producing of my own solo album. 27. taemin’s originality is the clearest when he promotes as a solo artist. which song has best represented your identity? i worked hard on all of them but there was a turning point. at first there was ‘danger’ then ‘press your number’ was a conceptual performance, the transition to ‘move’ turned out well. i wanted to break out from the typical choreography routine and create my own identity, the resulting performances were ‘move’ and ‘want.’ my next solo album is again different. i’ve been making a lot of changes these days. 28. you seem to have high standards when it comes to composing music. was there ever an occasion where you absolutely refused to compromise and gave others a hard time? everyone is used to it (laughs). it’s something i learned from the head manager hyung who’s been with me since debut. the belief that ‘there is nothing that can’t be done. there is no such thing as impossible.’ another team manager hyung would tell me ‘you remind me of our head’ (laughs). honestly, the staff around me work beyond their given roles and with affection. normally work timings are from 9 to 7, they stay back till 10-11 pm for me. they don’t hold it against me, and when things do well, they too feel a sense of fulfillment together with me. 29. the new unreleased song must be quite different from the original then.  there are already 12 versions of the song. when i thought we were somewhat done, we recently started arranging it again (laughs). 30. you hold your body to specific standards for the best performance outcome. i don’t ‘bulk up.’ previously, i used to work out when i ate a lot but my body would feel weighed down, it wasn’t what i wanted. if i gain a lot of muscles or become thick, it hampers my dancing form. that’s why i don’t put on weight. i train my stamina and strength and avoid bulking up my shoulders and arms. 31. by the way, do you do neck exercises as well? i was touched looking at your long neck in the vogue photoshoot. i had been noticing this too, now i know the reason! i think it’s because i dance. a lot of resistance goes into the neck when you dance. our head is the heaviest and it’s the neck that supports it. it goes away when i rest for a few days. we’re shooting amidst the superm tour maybe that’s why it looks thicker now.  32. an editor who has been watching you closely for a long time said that you’ve become extroverted. could it be that experience and relationships have made you comfortable and secure? i’ve lowered my guard. i couldn’t reveal my current self to others before. as a child i used to be so introverted that i’d hide behind my mother when strangers would get into the elevator. i changed with time.  33. is your ever-present smile a product of your personality or just business decorum? i’m always smiling. i even laugh at things other people don’t find funny (laughs). 34. shinee members are currently serving in the army. when they’re on break what kind of advice or nagging do they subject you to? i wish they would do that. we have a group chat on kakaotalk and i always revive it by asking “what’s up” “happy new year.” but as soon as the conversation picks up they only talk about the army. when i inform them about an issue at the company they say “really?” then it’s military talk again. when i feel left out and tell them to stop, they reply with “you’ll understand when you get here.” 35. in your career as a musician, when do you feel the best? when it’s time to reveal all that i’ve been preparing for so long! it feels different from finishing it. the first stage after debuting, shinee’s first concert, performing at tokyo dome, receiving the award... these are the moments that come to mind. 36. watching taemin grow for the past decade has been a huge source of strength. what are your dreams now? there are many. first of all, once shinee comes back again, i want the entire group to give off a feeling of revival. usually after getting discharged, it’s hard to keep up with the next generation, i want to avoid that. i’ve imagined it all when the shinee members return. second, i want to perform a lot on various stages as a solo artist. superm topped the billboard 200 album chart, it’d be nice to enter the top 10 on the hot 100 digital chart as well.  37. you are really talented at setting goals. i’ve gotten greedier. it’s just not for myself but i want to do it for the fans and members, even the staff. they become my driving force. i really am lucky. everybody works hard but i even get the recognition for it. come to think of it, i was given many opportunities and i worked hard to make the most of them, i’m really happy my efforts paid off in the end. i’m surrounded by good people. shinee, superm, many people fill in the gaps for me that i can’t solve on my own. 38. superm’s concert title is ‘we are the future.’ when you hear the word ‘future’ what are you reminded of? first, it’s h.o.t. (laughs). future-oriented things come to mind like artificial intelligence, drones, 3d hologram concerts. then again, in the future, though people might be able to watch concerts through holograms, i think humans will not give up on the tasks they themselves can do. my work will still be the same in the future. 39. the reason you don’t write anything on instagram. i don’t have anything to say yet (laughs). i don’t know if i should make my instagram cool or approachable. when fretting between writing a caption or using an emoticon, i just end up leaving it blank. actually i signed up after my manager hyung suggested that instagram would be good. so i’ve made one but i still don’t know what to upload. i get teased by the people around me for putting up selfies. i even took lots of pictures especially for instagram but... 40. did you not post the pictures? the point of instagram is real-time communication. is that so! i didn’t know (laughs).

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

[press-x-tojason]

Giant Bomb is dead, and I care way less than I thought I would. Probably because 83% of the people who I ever cared about had already left or died, or were already relegated to reduced content roles. 

Honestly, though, the writing’s been on the wall for a bit. They haven’t had anything worthy of paying for premium in several years, and, even though they’ve had well over a year to figure out a plan for the COVID era, they maybe made it a month with their plans to have a series of streams daily. I actually managed to forget I followed them on Twitch at all, for about 4 months, because they only streamed the podcasts and the occasional former Harmonix employee (who was literally paid to make content with their games while employed at Giant Bomb, which was funny because he blocked me on Twitter for making a post, addressing no one, back in 2014, which was asking about the legitimacy of the leaked list of “games “””””journalists”””””” who had taken money from publishers for positive reviews, a list which included him and multiple then-coworkers. I didn’t follow him, he didn’t follow me. He was manually searching the keywords, because he was, and is, a prick.) solo Rock Band stream in the last 8 months or so. Even when Jeff would manage to do one of his 20 streams from home a year, it would be on his own channel. There was just no content. And they’re surprised their “pay for our unique premium content!” model failed. They always “feigned” anger at Dan for “making” them do the Mario Party Parties, and literally never promoted his and Drew’s Metal Gear series after the first game... but I bet that, when only those, UPF, and the ad-free versions of the podcasts were premium features, those two series were keeping them afloat. Well, that and the remaining goodwill they miraculously managed to hold onto for a few years after Ryan died.  Shit, I follow several people who are GB staff-adjacent, and... I can’t think of the last time they mentioned anything that happened on-site. Even the people who’ve been directly supporting them for over 10 years were out. 

But yeah, the site is super dead. They pretended in the announcements like they’re going to make a go of it still, but... you’ve got like 4 content people left, and the only one people give a shit about is Jeff. You just saw 3/4 of the side of the site that was still trying these past several months jump ship in a 3 month span. One of those was, by nearly any definition, a founding member. Of which you had already lost one, and are losing another from the main side. Jeff’s been way less active until the last week or two, probably because he heard they were leaving and was like “oops, should probably check on the ship that’s been sinking for years!” Then you have Jason “The Human Mumble” Oestricher, the charisma vacuum, whose legitimate public-facing reaction to first hearing that all but one of his GB predecessors were going to be gone. was, and I quote, “Hoo Boy.” Ben and Jan are the definition of “fine”. They would have been great, as they are today, as secondary members 8-10 years ago. But carry the site, they cannot. They’re down to, what, 5 named members now? It hasn’t been that dire since the beginning of 2009, before they hired Drew, when they hadn’t even started the P4 endurance run. You know, that surprise massive, internet-changing thing that essentially popularized the Let’s Play concept, loosening its definition and making it something that could be as personality-driven as game-driven, made simply to give them something to put on the website, beyond the rare review and, slightly later, quick look. This kinda illustrates the problem with modern Giant Bomb. When they were figuring shit out, flying by the seats of their pants, they came up with great shit, and they gave enough of a shit to make it happen. 0.000% chance they do a 10 hour Thanksgiving Kinect stream if the Kinect was new today. 0.000% chance the core members would have done an endurance run in the last 10 years if CT and Shenmue (which I haven’t watched) weren’t driven by the younger members. And you could see it in the fact that they never made a real, true mobile app. The number one thing that would have made them indispensable this past decade, an app to integrate premium features, the podcast, their video player, etc. all in one place in a mobile-friendly package, that could sync with the website... and they never even raised the idea publicly. I wonder how much of the innovation was the group think-tank of the first 5 years. Beyond Dan’s couple major contributions, I don’t think they added a single new type of content after 2012, which... still means the last 6.5 years lacked any semblance of innovation. I guess that’s a big part of why I fell off tremendously quickly after late 2014. There was just nothing new, and believe me, I was looking. I wanted reasons to stay watching. I supported them with my dollar. I believed in those brave early days. And I went back yesterday to watch the DP endurance run from VJ again. I still miss that rapport. And really, that hurt, too. Vinny moving back east, less than a year after Ryan passed... short term, it was fine. You had more people than ever to cover the gaps. But the spark was gone. The chemistry made the site. When I think of Giant Bomb, I still think of Jeff, Vinny, and Ryan, first and foremost. Those early podcasts, the NintenDownloads, the crazy tangents that everyone could seamlessly follow up on(well, except Brad, because he essentially slept through most of the podcasts, unless he was talking about the thing he did that week), the weird high-concept GOTY stuff... it wasn’t perfect, but you were entertained. You laughed. You were engaged. It never felt like you were watching them working, even though you could see the work they put in. It felt like, when they released something, you were experiencing a group of legitimate friends doing what they wanted to do anyways.(And boy have I seen enough groups do everything they can to NOT be enjoying doing that, and break up as a result due to hating the jobs that they chose to do). 

Part of me would love to make it as simple as “Ryan died, and so did the original spirit”, and... to a degree, it’s true. If you go back to any retrospective they’ve done about the founding of the site, or the podcast they recorded after Ryan passed, you can’t help but recognize that Giant Bomb never happens if these core members don’t all quit their jobs, led by Ryan,  because they respect their boss/manager, Jeff, and know he’s doing the right things(for them, for the reader/viewer, etc.) ahead of what GameSpot management wants him to do. Jeff could have been left in the wilderness, trying find a spot elsewhere, with the rumor going around between executives that Jeff wasn’t going to help them promote anything, essentially killing their revenue. He would have been done in terms of getting employed by a major site. But Ryan first, and soon after, Vinny and Brad, gave up their jobs to make this fledgling little project go. As much as the ERs brought me in and gave the impression that Jeff and Vinny were the long-standing duo, no, it was Ryan who was Jeff’s partner in crime. And, 8 years later, I can comfortably say... Giant Bomb never recovered from losing him. 

But it was so much more. Everything that set them apart slowly went away,  in time. I don’t think they’ve posted reviews for games in consecutive MONTHS since 2017; 2018 at the latest. They have done one Endurance Run in 9 years. They have not had a meaningful live event in 6 years. Unprofessional Fridays were more formulaic and lesser in volume and frequency after the major players started moving east. The lack of coordination between coasts killed the camaraderie, to the point that I think one of the last 5 true gameplay crossovers was their series of 2016-2017 PUBG shitfests. I remember when Vinny starting GBEast was supposed to be the start of a new era of content, and... it was, but not in a positive way, like it sounded. When half of each side seemed to constantly have no interest in making anything, nothing got made. But I guess that’s what happens when your second in command in one of your headquarters is just a former marketing grunt with an attitude problem, and the guy with the biggest ego on the team is the one who refuses to move to join either side, and just pushes out the most self-important drivel as a header to what were literally just copy-pasted articles from other sites every week while sitting at his desk, dreaming of the days Gawker would pay him to plagiarize political drivel instead, because that’s what really gets the soulless clicks. One of your founding members becomes depressed due to losing his two closest work friends, one for real, one to a 3000 mile separation, within a year, while the other one who is left virtually stopped playing anything but DOTA 2 for 2 years. Suddenly your most prominent personalities are the 2 new guys(one the aforementioned charisma vacuum, the other a walking mark) and your previously-mostly-off-camera producer who is best known to the wider Internet for... blinking. So, yeah, lifeless. And NOW, all you’ve got is old melancholy dad, charisma vacuum dad, and the two ADHD kids whose defining trait is that they choose to exclusively refer to their partners as “my partner” in voices that make it sound like they are embarrassed to have partners, while also talking more about what their partners are doing than what they do.  It’s confounding.

But yeah, TL:DR: RIP zombie Giant Bomb. Glad you’re finally getting taken behind the shed. It took 3 years too long, minimum.

[mark-benson]

Should we not promote or use sustainable packaging in 2021?

We should not use recyclable packaging because recyclability decreases waste placed in the landfills. In addition, the development of new recycling technologies, or new materials designed as for example mono-material could not only stimulate the economy but also increase the packaging recycling rate. We should not use sustainable packaging because the resulting compost could be used in large fields and create some soil enrichment year after year. The consequences could be soil depletion decline, a decrease of chemical fertilizer use and thus, potential soil fertility increase. We should not use ocean or marine-degradable packaging because packaging and material could disappear too quickly in the oceans and then, a possible consequence could be an increase of the quantity and diversity of Pisces that people could fish, especially when it is the main resources for some countries. Therefore, more marine life could increase in the next years. *What a world, if that would be the case…!* At *the right packaging* company, we love to stimulate people and make them look at an issue with another angle. We like challenging opinions and ways of thinking because we know it's when people think differently than we succeed. So, having that said, what can we do? As long as the first few sentences you read above don't match what you think. Otherwise, feel free to hum the famous song with Doris Day… *…“Que sera sera Whatever will be will be The future's not ours to see”…* The crucial question could be summarized as follows: Who is currently building the future of packaging, is it *us* or *them*? As an entrepreneur, I would prefer to believe it is in my hands, even if I liked Doris very much. Another challenge would be: Should we wait for the big incremental change in sustainability until it will happen, or should we think that every step, even if it is a little one, is important and that me, you, or few of us have a tangible impact regarding the choice of the right packaging. Furthermore, If we think we have an impact and, as buyers, designers, marketers, engineers, consumers etc., what does it mean for my packaging, my product, my business, my brand? Is it possible to be more profitable and effective with sustainable packaging? - First of all, sustainable packaging or environmentally friendly packaging doesn’t (always) mean added or premium cost. We can be cost-effective and save money too. Indeed, less material, less empty space to transport in a carton, less EPR (Expended Producer Responsibility) fees, have a significant financial impact. - Making the right choice for packaging in line with consumer preference, can also support sales. A convenient, performant and environmentally friendly packaging can be a competitive advantage when two or more solutions exist for similar products.

[paralleljulieverse]

Darling Lili in New York, or Where Were You the Night Julie Andrews Played Radio City Music Hall and Stole Manhattan’s Heart?

This is the second in a series of commemorative posts to mark the 50th anniversary of Darling Lili, the last of the 1960s Julie Andrews screen musicals. In the preceding post, we looked at the film’s fraught production history up to and including its World Premiere at Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome on 23 June 1970. Here, we turn attention to the film’s New York bow which took place a month later on 23 July at the city’s fabled Radio City Music Hall. 

Nicknamed “the show place of the nation”, Radio City Music Hall was for much of the mid-twentieth century the venue of choice for big event film releases. The theatre’s monumental size, architectural opulence, state-of-the-art technology, and pre-show stage spectacles made it “the quintessential motion picture palace,” and Hollywood studios jockeyed to secure bookings at “the Hall” for their most prestigious pictures (Goldman, 97-98).

During the late-60s, Paramount, the studio behind Darling Lili, enjoyed a run of extremely successful summer bookings at Radio City Music Hall. Its 1967 release, Barefoot in the Park broke house records for the longest run at the Hall with a 12-week season, only to be bested the following year by another Paramount comedy, The Odd Couple which ran for 14-weeks (”Trouble”, 114). It was something of a PR coup, therefore, when, in January 1970, Paramount announced with much fanfare that Darling Lili would make its official premiere as the summer attraction at Radio City Music Hall later in the year (”Par Gets”, 3). The deal even made the front cover of Boxoffice magazine with a photo of Frank Yablans, Paramount general sales manager, proudly signing the booking contract with Music Hall president, James F. Gould (″Sign of Summer,”, cover).

Barely had the ink dried on the deal, however, when Paramount changed tack. Hit by the toughest industry recession in decades and spooked by a precipitous downturn in the market for big-budget roadshow films, Paramount execs implemented a wholesale revision of studio operations, including a brutal hard-prune of their production and release schedules (Dick, 120ff). By April, earlier plans to give Darling Lili a high profile release had been ditched and, in its stead, Paramount decided to offload the film cheaply as part of a bundle of eight titles slated for saturation release during the summer off-season. Dubbed the “Big Summer Playoff,” the aim was to issue the films widely and quickly so that they could “saturate every major and minor market with single-house firstruns and key city multiples” (“Paramount’s Summer Playoff”, 5). In an era when important films were typically given carefully staggered roll-outs, it was an unorthodox move that fuelled advance perceptions of Darling Lili as a bomb of such magnitude that even its own studio had lost hope. As one newspaper commentator put it, Paramount “seems to have dumped the expensive movie rather than spend any more on it” (Taylor, 21-E).

Radio City Music Hall, by contrast, stuck to its original plans to exhibit Darling Lili as a high-profile summer spectacular. With Paramount having started to issue the film haphazardly to theatres across the nation in June, the opening of Darling Lili at Radio City on July 23 would no longer be a world premiere -- that honour was hastily devolved to Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome  -- but the Hall persisted in proudly billing its run as “the New York premiere”. As Variety wryly noted: “Music Hall has never played a pic which hasn’t been a New York first, although perhaps someone there thought the tourists may have thought Lili was otherwise in that the film opened nationally a month ago” (”New York”, 20).

While not strictly a roadshow presentation, Radio City Music Hall exhibited  Darling Lili with all the trappings of a hardticket prestige release. Seats were available via a mix of both premium reserved and general admission with special complimentary programs issued to patrons at all sessions. The theatre screened the film in wide-gauge 70mm with 6-track stereophonic sound, one of only two US venues to do so. Projected on the Hall’s 70′x40′ motion picture screen -- the largest indoor screen in the world at the time -- the film would have looked and sounded amazing (Goldman, 99). As an added point of appeal, screenings were supported by one of the Hall‘s famous live stage entertainments: in this case, a Spanish-themed spectacular with symphony orchestra, flamenco dancers, guitarists and, of course, the legendary high-kicking Rockettes (Jose, 54). In addition, the Hall lavished Darling Lili with a solid promotional buildup, taking out full page ads in key newspapers, and using strategically-placed billboards and transit ads around town.

It was an old-school approach of event-style cinema showmanship that paid off handsomely. Even before Darling Lili opened at the Hall, there was “an unprecedented advance demand” for tickets, leading the theatre to double the number of reserved seats from 900 to 1,800 for all sessions. “We’ve added reserve seats on a few occasions previously,” observed a theatre rep, but “only during the heavily crowded Christmas and Easter holiday seasons” and never...during the summer,” adding that he had “no idea” what had generated the extraordinary advance demand (Weiler, 37). 

The good news continued when the film opened on July 23 with a box-office rush that broke all house records, prompting the theatre to increase reserve bookings even further to 2500 seats in an effort to accommodate the clamour for tickets (“’Lili’ Hitting Peak,” E-2). As Variety commented:

“Radio City’s Darling Lili...is the summer blockbuster all the auspices hoped it would be, with $285,000 or close expected for kickoff session. Pic is curious in that its longtime postproduction shelving had spurred rumors of disastrous artistic results. But film has shown legs in crosscountry openings and both critical and word-of-mouth opinion in Manhattan has been mixed at worst. Some response is downright enthusiastic” (“’Lili’ and Revue,” 9).

Darling Lili continued its bullish box-office run in New York, long after any initial novelty buzz should have subsided. Weekly grosses inched higher for a few weeks before settling into a very healthy $200K+ per week plateau. Come mid-August, Variety noted with thinly-veiled surprise that:

“Radio City Music Hall is experiencing a slight phenomenon with its current Darling Lili attraction. It’s not unusual during the summer tourist season for popular Hall programs to maintain or build grosses...but few remain in such a narrow range as has Lili to date. First week tally of $280,000 was a non-holiday record. Second was upped to $288,000. Now third session is headed for $280,000....70mm projection and sound are plus-values in a package which Hall president James Gould predicts will run until late September” (“N.Y. Full,” 9).

In the end Darling Lili did run at Radio City Music Hall until late-September -- September 23, to be precise -- when it closed to make way for the pre-booked Sophia Loren-vehicle, Sunflower. Across its 9-week run, the film grossed in excess of $2million in ticket sales, making it one of the theatre’s biggest summer hits to date (“Picture Grosses,” 15). 

The commercial success of Darling Lili at the Hall was music to the ears of the film’s star who, in a rare moment of unguarded hubris, admitted to a measure of self-satisfaction at news of the booming box office receipts:

“‘I’m not so interested for myself,’ she explained, ‘but I’m happy for Blake. He has been so maligned about this picture that I am delighted he is receiving some vindication...I think he managed to make a vastly enjoyable film...People are entertained by it; the Music Hall figures seem to prove that.’ [T]he actress had mild reproof for the releasing company, Paramount, over its handling of the film: ‘Three weeks before the opening, there was no advertising campaign. None whatsoever. Paramount didn’t seem to know how it was going to sell the picture--or if. I simply can’t understand an attitude like that’” (Thomas: 13).

Julie’s chiding of Paramount for its poor handling of Darling Lili was not mere sour grapes. Once the studio had decided to issue the film as part of a summer saturation bundle, it effectively abandoned any semblance of cogent or even halfway organised marketing. As outlined in our earlier post, there was little rationale to the film’s distribution. Lili appeared suddenly and briefly at second-run theatres and drive-ins across disparate suburban and provincial areas, while major metropolitan venues didn’t get the film till much later, if at all. In many markets, the film was booked for a fleeting season of a week or two – in some cases, just a few days -- and it was frequently paired as a double-bill with a host of poorly selected partner titles (Caen, 6-B). 

The studio’s approach to promotion was no better. A generic pressbook and merchandising manual was issued, but it was very bare-bones and perfunctory. In the absence of a clear marketing plan, local exhibitors were left to promote the film more or less any way they liked. Advertisements were frequently altered to pitch Darling Lili in diverse, and often contradictory, ways. The main advertising art provided by Paramount -- with its central image of Julie in mid-song set within a sepia frame of art nouveau swirls -- positioned the film principally as a nostalgic star musical with touches of adult romance. Many local exhibitors took a very different approach. Some tried to reframe it as wholesome child-friendly fare: “This summer’s one and only total family entertainment;” “It’s Julie at her best! It’s for your family” (“This Summer,” 24). Other theatres pegged it as “a man’s movie,” stressing the action and warfare elements with taglines like “See the Best Dogfights of World War I” or “If you enjoyed Blue Max you’ll love Darling Lili” (“Man’s Movie”, 13; “Palms”, 64). Some exhibitors even openly recycled graphics from The Blue Max and other WW1 action films, with one Florida venue going so far as to revive the film’s original working title: Darling Lili, or Where Were You the Night You Said You Shot Down Baron Von Richtofen? (“Amusements,” 11A).

Elsewhere, exhibitors implemented a rash of dubious promotional incentives such as “twofers” or free entry to "one child under 12...with the purchase of one adult admission to Darling Lili” (“Capri”, 2D). A theatre in Fort Lauderdale offered “free admission to World War I veterans in uniform during matinees Monday through Friday” (“’Darling Lili’ Ducats,” 5D). Possibly well-intentioned gestures but it was bottom-barrel marketing that fostered an unfortunate aura of abject desperation around the film that likely turned off more patrons than it enticed. 

Against this sorry backdrop of shambolic distribution and ham-fisted marketing, the meticulous handling of Darling Lili at Radio City Music Hall served as a strikingly singular counterpoint. The remarkable commercial success of the film at that venue -- which, if reported figures are to be believed, represented well over a third of the film’s entire US grosses (“US Films,” 184) -- can only be attributed in good part to the care and professionalism with which the Hall managed the film’s exhibition. One can’t help but wonder, therefore, how different the overall commercial fate of Darling Lili might have been had Paramount exercised a more discriminating distribution plan, affording the film the kind of special-event release it enjoyed in New York. It’s unlikely Lili would ever have been a major hit -- it was simply too narrow in appeal and out-of-step with the rapidly changing times -- but it certainly could have gone much further in recouping costs and might even have realised a modest profit. At a minimum, it would have helped redeem the film from its unjust reputation as the “Edsel that almost bankrupted Paramount Pictures” (Rosenfield, 5).

As a coda to this account of the exceptional history of Darling Lili at the Radio City Music Hall, it is interesting to note that the film fared well in New York not just commercially but also critically, Some of the film’s best US reviews came from New York critics -- a surprising turn-of-events given how notoriously hostile the East Coast critical establishment had been to Julie Andrews’ earlier screen musicals. Wanda Hale of the New York Daily News gave Darling Lili three-and-a-half stars out of four, writing:

“Radiantly beautiful, elegantly turned out, Julie Andrews graces Radio City Music Hall in a burst of song and dance, adventure and romance...[I]t’s Darling Lili everybody loves, so will you, you Music Hall patrons--you and the family” (Hale, 39).

Vincent Canby (1970) of the New York Times found Darling Lili “a pure if not perfect comedy” with “a lot of perverse charm and real cinematic beauty.” He continued: 

“Although Julie Andrews (the film, not stage, star) has always struck me as a very mitigated delight, she may be the perfect centerpiece for this sort of fantasy. That is, her angular, aggressive profile, combined with her coolness and precision as a comedienne and a singer, give the immediate, comic lie to the adventures of a supposedly irresistible femme fatale. She thus is immensely funny...” (16).

In a rare honour, the New York Times afforded Darling Lili a second review from Roger Greenspan (1970) who argued for the film as a minor masterpiece of refined, borderline philosophical, sensibilities. “[O]ne very bright critic I know...has already compared the film, ecstatically, with Max Ophul’s great Lola Montes,” he remarked before launching into his own rhapsodic paean:

“To her characterisation, Miss Andrews brings a precision of gesture that matches Edwards’s directorial precision and that constitutes one of the most excitingly controlled expressions of theatrical presence I have ever seen in a movie. Not cold; elegant, finely drawn, perfect of its period--and yet inward, self-sustaining, as if already committed to that gorgeously contemplative state of transport that is the subject of the movie within the movie to look for in Darling Lili” (S2-10).

In a similar move, the inaugural issue of the New York-based cinephile journal, On Film devoted not one but two essay-tributes to Darling Lili from Stuart Byron and Mike Prokosch respectively. The former gushed:

“Darling Lili comes at the end of the big-budget musical cycle, and it [is] one of the only...good things to come out of the whole rotten effort to reduplicate The Sound of Music. But in any case, a masterpiece it is--Blake Edwards’ most beautiful film to date and surely his most meaningful. ... Edwards is the first director to utilise Julie Andrews’ full resources. Her rapid manner of speaking becomes the neutral fulcrum of her moods--it is sincerity hiding danger, or bitterness hiding love. Her singing, however tender on the surface, always gives the impression of concealing a quick intelligence ready to spring forth when needed” (Byron 1970, 31, 34).

Prokosch (1970) was equally smitten, calling Darling Lili “the only work of art Hollywood ha[s] released in 1970″:

“First. one must forget one’s preconceptions of Julie Andrews and look at the way Blake Edwards, the film’s director, casts his wife with remarkable shrewdness: Lili Smith is a young British singer caught in a situation she cannot master. What more natural part could Julie Andrews want? ... Darling Lili is really gutsy in its formal expression...Edwards’ control of the...formal means at his disposal--stylized lighting and colour, split-up background compositions, and especially cutting--displays a...complete knowledge of their emotional effect. What makes Darling Lili unique among recent releases, though, is its careful structuring. Almost every sequence...takes a clear place in the design of the film” (96).

If it sounds like these critics were a little woozy on the then new wine of auteur film theory, a measure of sobriety was served by none other than Andrew Sarris, chief architect of American auteurism, who filed a somewhat  more reserved, but nevertheless appreciative, review of Darling Lili for the Village Voice:

“Darling Lili is cinema a la folie, a rhapsody of romantic madness amid the current cacophony of absurdist dissonances, a sentimental valentine from Blake Edwards to Julie Andrews complete with gypsy violins and a Snoopy sub-plot about the Red Baron and the Dawn Patrol...but I’m afraid it won’t work for most audiences on any level. Its ingredients -- romance, satire, musical comedy, deadpan farce -- mix without blending. The song numbers don’t soar high enough and the prats don’t fall hard enough. But Darling Lili is never less than likeable, and its graceful professionalism is especially refreshing in this long hot summer of assorted crudities” (Sarris 1970, 47).

Despite his reservations, Sarris still included Darling Lili in his end-of-year list of the best films of 1970 -- as did several other Village Voice critics: Stuart Byron, Richard Corliss, Stephen Gottlieb, and William Paul (Sarris 1971, 59). 

Now, if only the critics and audiences west of the Hudson had shown Darling Lili half-as-much love as the crowds at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, who knows how different the course of Hollywood history -- or at least that of the Julie Andrews screen musical -- might have been...

Sources:

“Amusements Today.” Florida Today. 2 October 1970: 11A.

Byron, Stuart. “Darling Lili.” On Film. 1: 1, 1970: 30-34.

Caen, Herb. “It’s News to Me.” Hartford Sentinel. 5 August 1970: 6-B.

Canby, Vincent. “Screen: ‘Darling Lili’ Sets the Stage for Pure Comedy of Romantic gestures.” New York Times. 24 July 1970: 16.

“Capri: Florentines! Something Wonderful! Has Happened to the Movies!” Florence Morning News. 12 August 1970: 2-A.

“‘Darling Lili’ Ducats Pared for Retirees.” Fort Lauderdale News and Sun-Sentinel. 27 June 1970: 5D.

Dick, Bernard F. Engulfed: The Death of Paramount Pictures and the Birth of Corporate Hollywood. Louisville, KY: University of Kentucky Press, 2001.

Francisco, Charles. The Radio City Music Hall: An Affectionate History of the World's Greatest Theater. New York: E.P. Dutton, 1979.

Goldman, Harry. “Radio City Music Hall.” Journal of American Culture. 1 1, Spring 1978: 96-111.

Greenspan. Roger. “Oh! What a Lovely Spy.” New York Times. 9 August 1970: S2-1, 10. 

Hale, Wanda. “Darling Julie Sparkles as Musical Spy.” Daily News. 24 July 1970: 57.

Jose, “House Review: Music Hall N.Y.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 54.

“’Lili’ and Revues, Tally Darling 285G.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 9.

“’Lili’ Hitting Peak.” Boxoffice. 10 August 1970: E-2.

“Man’s Movie.” Winona Daily News. 7 August 1970: 13.

“N.Y. Full of Tourists; Divided Between ‘Darling’ and ‘Denmark’.” Variety. 12 August 1970: 9.

“New York Sound Track.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 20.

“Palms Advertisement.” Arizona Republic. 31 July 1970: 64.

“Par Gets Hall’s Summer Spot for its ‘Darling Lili’.” Variety. 21 January 1970: 3.

“Paramount’s Summer Playoff Strategy: 5,000 Bookings for Eight Major Films.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 5.

“Picture Grosses: Broadway.” Variety. 23 September 1970: 15.

Prokosch, Mike. “On Film/Feature Film: Darling Lili.” On Film. 1: 1, 1970: 96-97.

“Radio City Music Hall’s All-Time Boxoffice Darling.” Variety. 5 August 1970: 12.

Rosenfield, Paul. “Reconcilable Differences.” Los Angeles Times-Calendar. 12 July 1987: 4-5.

Sarris, Andrew. “Films In Focus: ‘Darling Lili’.” The Village Voice. 13 August 1970: 47, 52.

________. “Films In Focus” The Village Voice. 21 January 1971: 59.

“Sign of Summer.” Boxoffice. 26 January 1970: cover.

Taylor, Robert. “‘Lili’ Can Be Charming.” Oakland Tribune. 27 June 1970: 21-E.

“This Summer’s One and Only Total Family Entertainment.” Tucson Daily Citizen. 5 August 1970: 24

Thomas, Bob. “Julie Andrews Praises ‘Lili’.” Courier-News. 15 September 1970: 13.

“Trouble in Paradise.” Newsweek. 25 October 1971: 113-115.

“U.S. Films’ Share-of-Market Profile.” Variety. 12 May 1971: 36-38, 122, 171-174, 178-179, 182-183, 186-187, 190-191, 205-206.

Weiler, A.H. “Big ‘Darling Lili’ Advance.” New York Times. 23 June 1970: 37.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2020

[spaceskam]

Something’s Coming, Something Good

for @andrea-lyn for 12 days of malex ( @malexsanta)! Here’s an absurdly long Austenland au! I hope you enjoy it:) (special thanks to my betas @zuluoscarecho and @pippsmcgee)

ao3

“Michael, this was cute when we were kids, but this has got to stop.”

Michael frowned as he looked around his apartment. He didn’t really see what he had to stop. Sure, he had a particularly strong interest in old fashioned love stories and Jane Austen in particular, but he still had a job and a place of his own. His special interests weren’t destroying his life, so why did he need to stop? Perhaps his place was a little too covered in floral and he had a stack of books a little too high, but that was his own business. And the large cardboard cutouts of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet respectively were just as personal.

“I like it this way,” Michael argued. Maria sighed loudly and gave him that ‘sweetie, no’ look that she gave him a lot. It was basically all she gave him whenever he spoke about anything he was serious about.

“Michael, your obsession is ruining your love life,” Maria said, eyes full of sympathy that he didn’t think he needed. He was fine. “You have these impossible standards for men and women alike and I’m scared that you’re going to keep searching forever for something you won’t find.”

“I don’t think I have impossible standards, I think I’m just not willing to settle for something less than I deserve,” Michael said stubbornly, “I’d rather be alone forever than settle for someone.”

“Okay, that’s not what I meant,” she sighed, sitting beside him, “I just don’t want you to be disappointed all the time. This was the fourth girl you said wasn’t for you in the last few months and it was over something silly.”

“She fake laughed at my jokes that weren’t funny!” he argued, “I don’t want to date a girl who I can never tell if she actually thinks I’m funny or not!”

Maria dropped her face into her palms. It felt like a good time to tell her what he had planned for the next couple of weeks. Well, actually, it felt like a bad time, but when it came to Maria and his fascination with 19th-century romance it was never really a good time.

“And because of my lifelong appreciation,” Michael said, watching Maria slowly peek back up at him, “I’ve decided to go to this place called Austenland.”

Maria blinked very dully at him for almost an entire minute. Michael, on the other hand, was nearly bursting with excitement. He tried to keep it under wraps for her though. If he got too excited, she would get anxious on his behalf all over again.

“Excuse me?”

“Okay, so, it’s this place where you get fully immersed in a Jane Austen experience. Period costume, period events, all that fun stuff. You even get a romance with one of the actors and everything, it has great reviews and I’m just… It’s going to be great, I think,” Michael said, keeping his smile tame even though he’d spent all night watching the introduction video over and over and over. 

“Michael,” Maria said slowly, those pitiful ’sweetie, no’ eyes back in full view, “Michael, how much did that cost?”

He pressed his tongue to his teeth and smiled. “Only, like $10,000.” Maria’s eyes bulged.

“Honey, you cannot do that! That is way too much! That-that’s like ten month’s rent!” she said and Michael just smiled tensely. He knew it was a lot, but, God, it felt worth it. All he wanted was to be immersed in that life‒$10k felt like a small price to pay for a lifelong dream.

“It’ll be okay,” Michael said, “Actually, it’s going to be perfect.”

“Okay, you know what, I support this,” Maria decided, nodding as she put her hands over Michael’s, “I want you to go and get all of this out of your system.”

Michael rolled his eyes but nodded. He couldn’t see the issue with enjoying something with his whole heart. He didn’t need some romance that was less-than when he could have the world. There was nothing wrong with knowing what you wanted and going after it and refusing to settle for less. To him, that sounded more healthy than anything he’d seen anywhere.

“Okay. I will.”

-

“Oh, I didn’t know we were supposed to show up in costume!” 

Michael managed a smile as he looked down at his own period garb and then to the woman before him who was dressed to the nines. In fact, it looked far too extravagant for someone just stepping off a plane, but she gave him a kind smile, so he gave one back.

“Yeah, me neither,” Michael joked, “Are you going to Austenland too?”

“Yes!” she said excitedly, eyes lit up like she was bubbling with joy. It was a nice change from the bleakness and the negativity that surrounded everything else back home. “My name is Isobel… Windsor,” she giggled, “I made it up.” 

Michael chuckled, “I can hear that. I’m Michael.” She shook his hand firmly.

“Ooh, Micahel, fun!” she cheered, clapping happily. He couldn’t help but smile fondly at her. “I’m so excited!” 

“Me too,” he agreed just in time to see a horse-drawn carriage pull up. Excitement began to stir in his bones even more and he helplessly bounced on his toes. 

A woman in expensive period garb that he recognized from the introduction video stepped out, grinning a truly sinister grin. Another girl hopped off the front of the carriage from where she had been driving the horses. She had on an outfit not too unlike a traditional stable boy’s, her long hair braided down her back. Michael couldn’t help but smile at them both.

“Good evening,” Mrs. Pennington said, smiling between the two of them, “I am Mrs. Pennington. How was your flight?”

“Great,” Isobel said. Michael barely opened his mouth, before Mrs. Pennington already began to cut him off.

“And this is Elizabeth. Elizabeth, get their bags,” she instructed, snapping the girl with the braid into place. She grabbed both of their bags and smiled at them. “So, Miss Windsor and‒”

“Oh, about my pseudonym,” Michael began, but Mrs. Pennington just shook her head.

“We already assigned one to you,” she said, “Mr. Gilkes.” Michael blinked a few times and thought about arguing, but chose to smile. No sense arguing over something as silly as that.

“Alright, Gilkes,” he repeated.

“Miss Windsor, you can step into the cab,” she said and then turned to Michael, “Unfortunately, it’s only a two-person cab, you’ll need to sit on the back of the carriage.” Michael took a deep breath, but nodded with a smile. 

Liz came around the back and helped him get all settled on the back and she gave a sugary sweet smile before mouthing ‘don’t mind her’. He nodded curtly and bowed his chin to his chest. He wasn’t going to let something like sitting on the back of a carriage ruin his time.

This is all he’d ever wanted. He was going to have a good time.

-

“We don’t usually have men coming here, Mr. Gilkes, you are a rarity.”

Michael managed a smile as Miss Pennington stood behind a nice, old fashioned desk. Isobel had been holding his hand for some time, squeezing every time she got too overwhelmed with excitement. Michael would squeeze when he got too overwhelmed in general. He squeezed right them.

“I’ve been reading Jane Austen’s novels since I was eight,” he told her, “I really love them. I could recite passages from Pride and Prejudice by the time I was thirteen.”

“How quaint,” she said, standing a bit taller, “Now, we have several different packages. You, Mr. Gilkes, are signed up with the basic, copper package while the women have signed up with the premium, platinum package. I feel it would be in your best interest to upgrade seeing as you will be excluded from some things.”

Michael squeezed Isobel’s hand again. He got the cheapest package?

“I’m alright with the package I got, ma’am,” he said as kindly as he could. Mrs. Pennington stared at him for a moment and then gave a really tight smile that had him questioning if he should really break the already broken bank just so she would stop staring at him like that.

“Alright, well, as you already know, with your stay here, you are promised a romance experience with one of our fine actors to truly reenact a better time when love was pure and untainted,” she said wistfully. Isobel squealed softly and squeezed his hand. Michael stayed quiet and chose not to point out just how common affairs were back then. He felt like it would ruin the mood.

“Oh, Michael, this is going to be wonderful,” Isobel said as she leaned closer to him. He nodded. Even if everything was exactly how he pictured it, he knew that he was signing up to get a truly fantastic experience with a Mr. Darcy type. Or, Elizabeth Bennet. Or anyone, really. That’s all he’s ever really wanted, really. Someone who could both sweep him off his feet and challenge him. Maria didn’t seem to understand that. 

“If you follow me, now, we’ll get you both dressed up before we head towards the main estate,” Mrs. Pennington said. 

They both followed her, Michael being led into one room by a group of stern-looking women and Isobel being led into another. Inside, he was surrounded by men’s clothing ranged from the insanely posh to rags. He genuinely would’ve been happy to play inside that room for days. Hell, if they’d let him, he would’ve enjoyed the women’s clothing for a whole nother day. He wanted to dress in both. Besides, he was very curious to see how he might look in a corset.

Instead, however, he was ushered towards an array of bleak and ragged clothing. He smiled through it all, letting them remove his own outfit and dress him in a loose, billowy white shirt with high waisted breeches to tuck them into. They were paired with uncomfortable shoes that felt a little too snug, but they fit the outfit too well to complain. Michael sat still as they combed his hair, tugging and gelling it to slick back like they wanted. When they showed him a mirror of his curls all tamed, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, Michael, you look so cute!” Isobel squealed when the met in the hall. She had on a large blue dress that seemed to have a million layers, her hips looking impossibly wide in it and a nice corset hugging her tightly. Her blonde hair was done up big and probably heavy on top of her head, curls spiraling down around her naturally pretty face that had very faint makeup covering it.

“And you look beautiful,” he said, laughing as she teasingly scoffed and tossed hair over her shoulder. 

They were once again put back on the carriage to head towards the main estate and this time Michael couldn’t find it in him to complain about sitting on the back. It was a never-ending gorgeous view of luscious gardens and woods and carefully tailored, well, everything. There were barns and stables and little sheds and they all looked so accurate. Michael had spent a lot of time studying this period of time and it really felt like he was in the right place. This was where he was meant to be the entire time, truly.

This was his time period.

When they arrived at the main building, he had to pause and take a deep breath. Again, he bounced on his toes and gazed up at all the wonders this week would hold. Just looking at it made it hard to imagine leaving. Couldn’t he just stay right there forever?

“Come along now.”

Micahel and Isobel followed dutifully as they were led into the house and towards their rooms. They went to Isobel’s first, a large room packed with little trinkets and figurines with a massive canopy bed in the middle. It felt like a queen’s room and it seemed very fitting. When she stepped inside, he wondered what she could’ve possibly looked like in a normal house. This seemed to be her space.

Michael was then led down to the servants’ quarters and into a much smaller, less extravagant room. Still, he couldn’t find any complaints in him. It still looked like everything he’d ever wanted. It felt good. If only Maria could see it, she would tease him about just how in his element this happened to be.

“We’ll have dinner in the dining room later,” Mrs. Pennington instructed, “I trust you can find your way.”

He turned to her and tried not to bounce on his toes. He did anyways.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

-

Finding the dining room was much more difficult than anticipated.

He’d found the kitchen first and one of the sour-faced chefs had to boot him in the correct direction. He wasn’t late, though, and that was really all that mattered. He arrived at the door beside Mrs. Pennington at the same time that Isobel did, still looking stunningly gorgeous. She did a little shimmy when she spotted him, raising her eyebrows and sticking the tip of her tongue through her teeth.

Mrs. Pennington opened the doors.

“Good evening everyone, may I introduce our guest of honor?” Mrs. Pennington said, stepping aside to make way for Isobel first. “Miss Isobel Windsor, heiress of the Windsor fortune.”

“Good evening,” one of the men said, standing to be ungodly tall. Michael wished he still had Isobel’s hand to squeeze. Or he wished Maria was here to hug him from behind whenever he got overwhelmed. 

“And this is Mr. Michael Gilkes, an orphan of no fortune who we took in from the kindness of our hearts,” she introduced. Michael smiled through it, ignoring the stabbing feeling he had from hearing his truth on display. But she didn’t know that‒that wasn’t her fault.

“Hi,” Michael said, almost cringing outwardly at how bad that sounded.

“This is Mr. Maxwell Evans,” Mrs. Pennington said, ignoring him, “The fourth son of the Earl of Essex.” He bowed with a curt smile. “And this is my dear nephew, Sir Alexander Manes.”

Michael eyed the man who did nothing more than salute with a single finger. He was genuinely gorgeous, dark hair and tanned skin. His hair seemed just as forcibly tamed as Michael’s and he had a little bit of stubble that dotted across his jaw. Michael wondered if that one was for him.

“And, let us not forget, Lady Jenna Cameron,” Mrs. Pennington said and another very pretty blonde woman stood to greet them. Micahel smiled and nodded to her, suddenly feeling outnumbered. Two beautiful women and two gorgeous men and then… him.

The evening dragged on like that. Mrs. Pennington, Isobel, Jenna, and Maxwell speaking and speaking and speaking while Michael sat out of place and Alexander stuck with his nose stuck in a book. Michael had spent a lot of his life imagining what this would be like and he was ruining it, letting it waste away while he sat awkwardly.

"C'mon, Michael," Isobel pressed as they sat down for dinner, "Say something fancy."

Michael smiled at her and nodded, taking a deep breath as he looked around the table to people making small talk. The only one not engaged in small talk already was Sir Alexander Manes.

"Sir Manes," he said, trying his best not to seem too irritating. The man looked up at him. "I know there's a ball to look forward to at the end of the week. Are you attending?"

"I suppose, though I'm not sure it's something to look forward to," he said. 

Michael gulped softly, "Oh? Why not?" 

"There's something so very ingrained in the human psyche that says we should enjoy social events like that and I disagree," Sir Alexander said, "There's no need for an event that only serves as a place for faux niceties when I can gather whatever from a person like this."

"Like what? A simple first impression?" Michael asked. 

Sir Alexander nodded. "That's all that's needed."

"Well I do hope my first impression of you is incorrect," he said. He licked his lips and looked down after that, hoping it wasn't too obvious that his hands were shaking. That was a very Maria thing to say. He hoped he didn't sound rude. 

Isobel squeezed his hand under the table. When he looked up, he saw Sir Alexander still staring at him.

"Oh, and Michael, are you planning on going to the ball on your own?" Mrs. Pennington asked. He turned to face her, seeing a simple tight smile on her face.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, I know you've failed at love in the past," she said. Isobel squeezed his hand as he just stared at her. “I mean, how sad is it that you’re nearly 30 and haven’t had a single romantic relationship?”

Michael looked around the table and found a mix of snickering and pitiful faces. It felt like dinner back home all over again‒full of disappointment for Michael’s love life. Great. Beautiful. Pushing through it all, Michael smiled.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said softly, pushing himself out of the chair and walking into the halls.

He considered escaping back to his room but reaffirmed in his mind that he couldn’t let it ruin his night. Instead, he decided to go exploring. He wanted to truly revel in this old house and just play pretend for a little while. Maybe he was unlucky in love, but so what? He didn’t need a person when he had a whole world to explore.

Michael wandered around, managing not to run into a single person as he did so. It made him feel at ease. He considered that maybe he should’ve just rented an old house with the money he spent here and spent a few nights pretending he was Dorian Grey or something. Well, not Dorian Grey‒just maybe as beautiful and lucky as him.

About an hour of wandering led him to the ballroom. Michael grinned as he walked into it, closing his eyes as he breathed it in. It reminded him of when he had a girlfriend for about a month back in high school whose mother made her go to cotillion and he had to escort her to her coming-out party. He’d enjoyed it so much that she had dumped him, but still.

He slowly started doing the waltz alone, murmuring a rhythmic one-two-three under his breath. It wasn't too unlike what he did in the privacy of his own house, but this time he had the extra benefit of the way his shoes sounded on a real ballroom floor. It made him feel at home.

Until a voice broke his peace.

"Are you having fun, Mr. Gilkes?" Sir Alexander asked. Michael stumbled to a stop, staring towards the doorway with wide eyes. He was leaning against the doorway, nothing but amusement on his face. Michael couldn't find words. He tried to think of what Maria would say, but somehow 'more fun than I would ever with you' sounded unwarranted. "I still can't believe people actually pay money to come here. Do you actually enjoy this place?" 

Michael blinked a few times, still not knowing what to say.

"You don't speak much, do you? You know that's considered rude in many social circles," he said, stepping further into the ballroom with that smile still on his face and a cane in hand, "And then when you do speak, that in itself feels rather brash."

"Is the cane there to make you look more full of yourself?" Michael asked and then nearly retreated into his body. Why did he have to say that of all things? Thankfully, Alexander just smiled.

"Probably," he answered, but tapped the edge of the cane against his leg and Michael knew his face paled at the hollow sound it made.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean–"

"You said what you were thinking," Sir Alexander said, "So you meant it."

Michael stood there and took a deep breath, waiting for his payback for that stupid, stupid sentence to come. Why did he always speak before he thought?

“Nonetheless, you didn’t deserve to be called out. There’s no shame in taking a while to fall in love or never falling in love at all,” he said, tapping his cane on the ballroom floor. Michael gave a single nod and wished he would leave so he could stop this never-ending cycle of embarrassment. “Felt you should at least hear that.”

Alexander walked away before Michael could construct a response.

-

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ve got you.”

Michael clutched his sketchbook behind his back as they walked around the gardens. It was nearly impossible not to take note of how Jenna was hooked onto Maxwell’s arm and Isobel was hooked onto Alexander’s and he was hooked onto absolutely no one. He wasn’t even jealous as much as he was irritated. This didn’t feel very fair.

Maxwell helped Jenna step up beside a fountain and she gave him a kind smile and Michael took that as his cue to escape. He’d learned very quickly that if he third wheeled, he did something stupid or annoying that ruined it for everyone. Like that time Maria was about to get her first kiss at the movies and he reached between them to steal a twizzler. 

He let them get lost in themselves for a moment before quickly taking a step back. Then he took another step back and soon he was out of the garden altogether. Michael very quickly wandered towards the barn that was close by and collapsed into a mound of hay. 

“Excuse you, this definitely qualifies as cramping my style.”

Michael scrambled to a sitting position and peered over to the other side of the mound and found Elizabeth sitting there with a pile of hay on her head and her book in her lap. He gave her a sorry smile.

“I didn’t see you there, I’m sorry,” he said. She just giggled and shook the hay off her head. Her hair was in a braid once again and she was still the only woman on the grounds who was wearing pants rather than a dress.

“You’re fine,” she promised, smiling in a way that lit up her whole face. Michael reached over to pick a few strands of hay from her hair. “Needed an escape?”

“I guess,” he said. She scooted closer to his side of the hay bail. “I’m not even really supposed to be out here. Mrs. Pennington is probably going to be really irritated with me for running off.”

“Maybe so, maybe not. I’m sure she’s not really keeping tabs,” Elizabeth tried. Micahel huffed a breath and plucked the last bit of hay from her hair.

“Hopefully. ‘M Michael, by the way. I know she said your name was Elizabeth.” 

“Yeah, but call me Liz.” 

Michael nodded curtly. “Alright, Liz.”

Michael leaned back into the hay, letting out a slow breath and closing his eyes. He needed a break. And a phone, perhaps, to vent to Maria. This was the longest he’d gone without her in some way and it was making him anxious.

“Not to insult you or anything,” Liz said, swinging her knee to bump his, “But you paid a fuck ton of money to enjoy the fancy shit and you’re sitting in a barn.”

Michael quirked a smirk and looked over to her. She was easier to talk to than the rest of them. It helped that she wasn’t as fancy.

“Honestly, I thought I would be better at all this. I spent so much time studying the time period and wishing I was there, but turns out I’m just as bad here as I am at my own time,” he sighed. She leaned in close and raised her eyebrows.

“Maybe you just need something a little more your speed.”

-

“I disagree that this is my speed.”

“Hush,” Liz laughed, handing him a bow and an arrow.

Michael looked over beside him to see Maxwell guiding Jenna to shoot her arrow semi-towards the target and then Alexander was helping Isobel shoot it directly at the bullseye. Isobel saw him looking and then gave him a very hyperactive thumbs up. He nodded back and then looked back to Liz. He could do this.

“Come here,” Liz urged, sidling up behind him despite being much shorter. Maria didn’t have to be present for him to hear her teasing him. 

She placed her hands on his hips, turning them to some probably specific angle and put her lips by his ear. He looked over at her and felt a bit jittery at how long her eyelashes were and the fact that she was all pressed up against him. Then he remembered it was probably bad to be jittery whenever you had an arrow in your hand.

“So you’re gonna pull it back with three fingers,” she whispered, “Balance your weight. Keep your back straight and push your hips forward just a little.” He gulped when she pressed into him to guide his hips. “Steady and… release.”

It flew and flew and flew straight into the ground about four feet in front of him.

Liz let out a sweet little laugh, “Well, let’s try that again.” Michael nodded and couldn’t really take his eyes off her for a moment.  Yeah, sure, he failed, but he failed at a lot of things and most of those things didn’t involve a pretty girl pressing up against him.

“Do you need me to teach him or are you just messing around?” Sir Alexander asked suddenly which made Michael’s eyes very reluctantly move away from Liz. Alexander was staring at them with a look very similar to when Michael had rudely said he made a shitty first impression.

Michael just stared back.

“No, I’ve got it,” Liz said and Michael felt that fuzzy feeling return as she grabbed his hips again.

It took a few shots, but Liz eventually got him to hit the target. Maybe not the bullseye, but it hit the target and it got him squeezed by Liz and that made it a million times worth it. 

“Maybe you’ll be better with the horses?” Liz suggested as they started walking towards the stables. He had a permanent smile etched onto his face as he watched her.

“Yeah, maybe.”

He did not.

Michael spent about twenty minutes attempting to get on his horse. Poor thing probably got kicked in the side a million times and Michael would take a second each time to apologize. He would say sorry and pat her on the nose before he tried to climb onto her again and then would promptly kick her in the side again. In all that time, everyone else had managed to go so far with their own horse that they were completely out of sight. Anxiety built in his stomach and he moved to the horse’s face.

“Hi,” he said, giving her his best smile, “I know I’m really bad at this, I know, but… can we just do this one thing together? Maybe you could bend down? Is that bad for your legs? Don’t do it if it’s bad for your legs. You know, I heard that running upstairs is really bad for your legs and that scene in Game of Thrones when Jamie ran up the steps on a horse was probably actual hell on that horse, so...  I am rambling to a horse.” Michael sighed and pet her face as she just huffed in his direction. “Could we make a deal? Just let me ride you long enough to get back and I’ll never kick you again.”

Michael really did think they were on the same page, so when she responded by running away, he was a little more than irritated.

“Come back!” he called, trying to run after her, but there wasn’t much to do. Chasing after a horse was basically pointless.

This really was not his day. Or week. Or month. Or year. Maybe Friends was right.

It took a few seconds for Michael to rationalize that he was going to be stuck on foot. Which was fine, he’d definitely experienced worse in life. Walking through a field and some woods wasn’t going to be the end of the world. So, he started trekking after them. He knew he’d probably get there well past when everyone else did, but that was fine. Truly, he needed a good walk in silence. Maybe the horse sensed that and gave him what he was desperately needing. What a kind horse.

Only when it started pouring rain did Michael consider that maybe this just really wasn’t meant to happen. He’d only been there for two days and it had gone about as smoothly as riding a unicycle over gravel. If he hadn’t paid so much money, he probably would’ve just got on a plane and gone home. Maybe Maria would be down for a pity round of rom-coms and popcorn. That sounded better than anything that was happening to him here.

“Mr. Gilkes, did everyone abandon you?”

Michael whipped around to see Sir Alexander riding towards him on his big white horse. He had a smile on his face despite the rain and despite the fact that Michael's hair had completely come untamed and was starting to curl hectically and despite it being too cold to be walking or riding in the rain. Michael could only take it as mocking.

“I’m fine,” he answered. He didn’t like being mocked, he got enough of that in every other goddamn aspect of his shitty life.

“You aren’t, it’s raining and even your horse abandoned you,” Alexander said. He dismounted the horse with a shocking amount of grace for a man who had only one leg. Michael wondered how long he practiced that.

“I can just walk, it’s fine,” Michael insisted. Alexander shook his head.

“What kind of man would I be if I left you lost in the woods while it was raining? I’m not evil,” he chuckled, gesturing towards the horse, “Come on.”

“Well, see, I don’t think we can both get on one horse because I-I don’t, I can’t, and your leg, like‒”

“It’s fine,” Alexander insisted and then suddenly Michael was being lifted onto the horse.

“Oh my‒” he gasped and Alexander just laughed, helping him swing his leg to the other side so he was straddling the horse.

“Now scoot forward,” he said and Michael tried to while Alexander helped push him a bit. Then Michael tried not to have a heart attack when he climbed up behind him.

“Sorry,” Michael mumbled, putting all his focus into keeping from doing anything stupid. Sir Alexander laughed behind him.

“Sorry for what?” When Michael didn’t answer, he added a simple, “I’ve ridden horses since I was a kid, I’ve got you.”

Michael’s face flushed and he nodded. For a moment, he tried to figure out which Maria would tease him for more: Liz pressing up against him to shoot arrows or Alexander lifting him onto a horse and pressing up against him on the horse. He could hear her voice in his mind, ‘Oh, Sir Alexander, what big strong arms you have!’ and then Michael would say, ‘you’re embarrassing me, he’s going to throw me off the horse’ and then Maria would say, ‘no, he won’t, he’s trying to get serious dick’ and then Michael would say, ‘oh my God!’. 

Though, he would admit that he liked being held from behind by a guy strong enough to lift him onto a horse.

When they got back to the stables, Alex helped him down and then led the horse away without another word. Michael went inside and tried to figure out if he was embarrassed about what happened or not.

He chose not to be.

-

“It’s rude for a gentleman to doodle the entire evening, Mr. Gilkes.”

Michael blinked a few times as he looked up to where Mrs. Pennington was all but glaring him to death. He licked his lips and looked around. There wasn’t really anyone to talk to. Sure, Isobel would quickly pull him into the conversation if need be, but she seemed to be trying really hard to seem interested in forcing Sir Alexander to talk about his book. Jenna, who was nice enough, seemed to enjoy the overwhelming attention she was receiving from Maxwell. Then Mrs. Pennington was focusing quite hard on her needlepoint when she wasn’t trying to send daggers into his head with a single look.

“Right,” Michael said, peering down at his sketchbook and then back to Mrs. Pennington, “Men should be outside doing… manly things.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and Micahel was pretty sure everyone else was looking at him too. Which made sense. They were all doing their period things and Michael had come here to also do period things, but instead, he was just drawing pictures of a boy who was acting and thinking of a girl who wore pants in a time where she shouldn’t.

He suddenly had a very strong urge to go find that girl. She probably wouldn’t be staring at him like everyone in this room was.

“I’ll go… do manly things.”

Michael excused himself and very quickly made his way outside. He didn’t exactly know where to find her, but he was sure that he could find her and that he would be able to make it seem like he found her by happenstance and not that he was being creepy. The last thing he wanted was to be super creepy towards her. She’d been the only one who hadn’t made him feel completely out of place here. It reminded him of summer camp whenever he hung out with the camp counselor the whole time because he couldn’t seem to make any friends that like was supposed to. 

He eventually heard the faint sound of Dancing Queen by ABBA summoning him towards a tiny shed and decided that was a good place to start. Even if it wasn’t Liz, it was obviously someone infinitely better than anyone inside the house. So, he knocked.

The music stopped and he heard some quick stomping inside that made him smile. When the door flew open, Liz stood there with her braid undone and legs bare with only a long, billowy period-shirt. He smiled childishly large at her and she reciprocated it.

“Hello, Mr. Gilkes,” she said, “What brings you my way?”

“I was just wandering and I heard the music, thought I’d come see what’s going on,” he said, keeping his eyes on hers and hoping beyond hope that she’d invite him inside. He needed to be around someone like her for a little while. She reminded him of Maria in all the ways that he needed.

“Ah, well, I know it’s technically inappropriate for a man and a woman to be alone together,” Liz said, shaking her head teasingly, “But… you wanna come in?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Michael stepped up into the tiny little shed and saw that it was basically functioning as her bedroom. It was quaint and homey and modern and it made him relax a bit. Liz made no move to put on pants or tame her crimped, frizzy hair and she still looked insanely gorgeous. Honestly, nearly everyone here was gorgeous. Was that a requirement?

“How do you feel about an ABBA dancing session?” she asked.

“I feel like it’s exactly what I need.”

Whenever Michael and Maria were teenagers and he either slept in his truck or on her bedroom floor, his only release from hell was blaring Queen and ABBA while he and Maria danced around the room. It was hard to be sad whenever Freddie Mercury was boosting you up and how could they possibly be stressed about life whenever they decided to perform an entire production of Mamma Mia! with just the two of them. And now, how could he be upset about awkwardly being a third or fifth wheel whenever he was jumping around and singing Money, Money, Money with a girl who was this stunning?

They danced through a few songs until they ran out of breath and collapsed onto the little futon in the corner in a pile of laughter. It was the best Michael had felt in days and it actually had nothing to do with the amount of skin he could see of hers. That was just a bonus.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” Liz said after they caught their breath, “For yesterday. I should’ve stuck around in case the horse decided to abandon you. That was my bad.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Michael said, waving it off, “I said I could do it. I just didn’t wanna ask for help. And then Mr. Perfect strolled up to save the day. Still not sure how to feel about it.” Liz snorted a laugh.

“Between you and me, the actors are paid to be perfect, you can’t really hold it against them,” Liz explained, turning to face him completely. For a moment, he considered touching her, but he didn’t. It felt too out of place. “But Alex is sweet, so he probably just genuinely wanted to help.”

Michael gave her a skeptical look. “Sweet? He always looks mildly to extremely irritated with my general existence.”

“Yeah,” she laughed, “I think that’s just his face though.”

Michael chuckled along with her for a moment and then they quieted down and just looked at each other. Maria would really like her. He could see the three of them hanging out and bingeing silly romcoms together. If he got anything from this trip, he hoped he’d gained her friendship.

“You think we could play another song? I didn’t realize how much I’d miss music being here,” he admitted. Liz flashed a big smile.

“Absolutely,” she said and stood up. She walked over to her phone and typed for a second and then the opening to Lay All Your Love On Me started playing and Michael was on his feet. That was easily a favorite of his. There was something about it that felt so unabashedly freeing even when it was literally about being possessive.

They started jumping around again, dancing closer and closer until she was touching him and he was touching her. She was a lot shorter than him, but it didn’t take away the charm of having her move against him as she held onto his hands. He barely noticed when they stopped moving.

He did notice when his forehead touched hers.

“You know,” she whispered, her eyes flickering down to his lips. He tried not to get excited. “We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

Michael moved away instantly. “You’re right, I’m sorry for being so forward.” 

Liz rolled her eyes.“Don’t be silly, I like your forwardness. It isn’t there that often, but I like it,” she said. He chewed on his bottom lip and it was the only thing keeping him from smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think I can arrange that,” he said. She giggled and shooed him out the door.

He felt much better.

-

“Jesus, you are way too good at that.”

Michael let Isobel lean over his shoulder to get a better look at his needlepoint. He found it wasn’t too hard if you didn’t think too much about it. Whenever he looked to hers, though, he saw that she should’ve probably thought a little harder.

“Isobel, what is that?” he laughed. Jenna leaned over to see the monstrosity Isobel was creating. She quickly joined in on the laughter.

“Is it Cthulu himself?” she asked which had them all laughing harder.

Isobel tried to pout as she held it out in front of them. “No, it’s supposed to be an elephant.”

“An elephant?” Jenna nearly cackled, “From what planet?”

“Ours!” Isobel whined, but it was quickly cut off by infectious giggling, “Listen, we can’t all be Michael.”

“You don’t want to be me,” Micahel said, shaking his head as he put his needlepoint in his lap, “That’s basically the only thing I’ve done right since I’ve been here.” 

“Oh c’mon, you can’t let Mrs. Bitchington ruin your time here,” Jenna said encouragingly. Michael shrugged.

“It’s not just her,” he admitted. Isobel grabbed his hand and he immediately calmed down a bit. She had a magic touch sometimes. One squeeze and a weight would lift off his shoulders.

“You know, I feel pretty shitty about the way she excludes you all the time. I still can’t figure out why,” Isobel admitted. Michael had an idea about why, but he chose to shrug. “You want to be here more than either of us do. It’s just not fair.”

“Do I?” he asked. He’d been under the impression that they were both as excited about it as he was. Or at least Isobel since she was the one who always seemed so eager to play along and engage Sir Alexander in conversation.

“My husband is super rich,” Isobel admitted, “He’ll basically pay for me to do anything if it means getting out of his hair.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Isobel said, waving him off, “It doesn’t bother me. It means I can do whatever including coming to this super fun place.” 

“Not sure if fun’s the right word,” Jenna mumbled before clearing her throat, “It’s not the worst, but… I don’t know, I’m trying to enjoy it. It’s just not my type of thing, you know.”

“Why’d you come then?” Michael asked. Jenna sighed and leaned back into the uncomfortable sofa.

“My sister loves this stuff,” she began, pulling loosely at the thick fabric of her dress, “She always wanted to come and she planned to one day. But, uh, then she got sick and now she can’t come, so she forced me to so she could live vicariously through me.”

“Man, you’re a good person,” Isobel huffed, “I don’t think I could do something I didn’t want to do just for my sibling.” 

“Really? I think I could do something insane for my best friend if she wanted me to because she couldn’t,” Michael said decidedly. He, in fact, had done a lot for Maria and she had done a lot for him. If she wanted him to do something crazy that he didn’t want to, he was sure he could do it for her.

“Still, it’s really sweet of you,” Isobel said, nudging Michael. She had that heartfelt smile on her face though and he felt warm inside. “But, if we’re gonna talk about Mrs. Bitchington, I find it super weird that it’s always the three of us and then two of them. Like, that’s so unfair.”

“It is unfair,” Jenna agreed, “I mean, apart of this whole thing is a romance, right? Where’s your romance?”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Michael said, but his mind immediately jumped to Liz. He hadn’t seen her since the night prior and she was still hovering around his brain. He was eager to see her again and the more he thought about it, the more he itched to get away.

“I know that face,” Isobel said.

“What face?” Michael asked. She gave him a distinctly Isobel expression that he hadn’t actually seen on anyone else and he was struggling to decide what, exactly, it meant.

“That one,” she said, circling his head with her finger. Jenna chuckled beside him. “The one a boy gets when he’s thinking about a girl.”

“Okay, so maybe I’m thinking about a girl,” Michael agreed. Isobel’s eyes lit up.

“Is that girl around?” When he didn’t answer, she shoved his shoulder. “Michael! Go find the girl!”

Michael didn’t want to say no, so he didn’t.

Wandering around outside, it wasn’t hard to find Liz sitting on the bank of the little lake that wasn’t too far behind the house. He plopped down beside her and focused on his sketchbook. Or, pretended to be focused on his sketchbook even though he was very aware of the way she leaned closer and how she was smiling at him.

“Are you supposed to be out here?” she asked. He scribbled in the weaves of her braid that he happened to be drawing, trying to seem busy.

“I’m drawing.”

“You’re supposed to be inside,” she teased. He licked his lips and tried his best to channel his inner Maria. He looked over to her and grinned, letting his eyes trail up and down her. 

“I mean… I don’t have to be drawing.” Liz’s eyes went wide and she giggled, shoving his shoulder gently. “No, but I’m tired of being cooped up in there and playing third wheel all the time. Show me around, Liz, please?”

“How very scandalous,” she mused, “Didn’t you pay to be cooped up?”

Michael gave an exaggerated frown and kicked her foot. Her nose scrunched up and she looked so cute he thought about kissing her right then. He didn’t, though Maria would’ve been proud if he had.

“You’re right,” he sighed dramatically, “I guess I’m going to go be all bored and alone somewhere with no WiFi.”

He pushed off the ground and went to stand up, but Liz quickly grabbed his arm. He hit the ground again and barely had any time to adjust before there was a small hand at the back of his neck and lips on his. He melted into it, letting her set the pace and the boundaries. It was a good kiss. She was a good kisser.

And it was the first kiss he’d had in over two years and kisses were nice.

“Are you sure you can sneak around with me today?” she asked as she pulled away. He realized that, for at least the next couple hours, he was completely at her beck and call. And he was completely okay with that.

“Yes,” he said, “Absolutely.”

Liz stood first and grabbed his hands, tugging him up onto his feet. He smiled down at her when he got there and felt that strong urge to kiss her again. He didn’t really get the chance to even say that before she was on her toes, their noses smushing together as well as their mouths and his heart was slamming in his chest. He missed kissing someone.

“If you stay right here, I’ll go swipe us some lunch from the kitchen,” she said against his lips. He nodded dumbly.

Michael watched as she ran towards the house, impressively light on her feet. His first instinct was to call Maria, to tell her he actually kissed someone, but he knew he couldn’t. He just had to revel in it by himself which, honestly, was a lot to handle. He managed to do it if only so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of Liz.

She returned with a picnic basket in her hands and a mischievous glint in her eye.

Liz led him away from the lake and towards the back garden that he hadn’t actually been to yet. It was secluded and she laid out a blanket before laying on it herself. Staring at her with the sun on her face and the clothes she wore made Michael crave the idea of stealing one of the dresses they had and fixing his hair up like women did back in the day. He wanted to layout in the garden in one and he wanted to feel pretty. He wanted to feel pretty and be kissed senselessly for it and be told things poetically that had his mind reeling.

That wasn’t an option, so he just laid beside her instead.

They spent at least two hours talking and laughing and feeding each other and discussing their lives outside of this place. Liz explained it was a summer job she took on and that for most parts of the year she worked on her Ph.D. in biomedicine. Michael tried not to feel too much less than when he said he was an English teacher at a middle school.

When they weren’t speaking, they were kissing and Michael decided he could get used to being kissed all the time. He honestly didn’t think it mattered who or where, as long as he was being kissed and felt like he wasn’t unwantable. Well, actually, he was fine with being unwantable in most aspects of his life, but if he could kiss for a few minutes a day with a stranger, that sounded fine.

“Mmm, you should probably go back inside,” Liz said eventually. Michael sighed pathetically and pouted.

“I really don’t want to.”

“I really think you should.”

She ran a hand through his hair, tucking the already gelled strands behind his ear. She gave him one last kiss before she started folding up the picnic blanket. 

“So, can I see you tomorrow?” Michael asked. She grinned and nodded.

“You can count on it.”

He started making his way back towards the house, working on taming the smile on his face. The last thing he needed was Mrs. Pennington gaining another reason to be irritated with him. He was just fine with the current reasons.

Except, when he got back, the only person waiting around and looking irritated was Sir Alexander.

-

“Good news!”

Michael looked up from his plate at Mrs. Pennington’s announcement. She was beaming in a way that Michael felt was almost sinister. He wondered if he could get away with sneaking back out to find Liz if only so he wouldn’t have to see Mrs. Pennington do… that.

“Mr. Kyle Valenti will be joining us for the remainder of our time here!” she announced.

As if one cue‒most likely actually on cue‒a man burst in through the doors with an air of importance. He was actually gorgeous with a chiseled face and an easy smirk. His cheeks were stubbly, but it worked almost too well and Michael’s mind scrambled. He’d seen attractive men before‒hell, Sir Alexander was a force to be reckoned with‒but this man knew he was attractive and therefore carried himself to make it even more so. Confidence itself was no match for him.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, his words coming out as natural as breathing.

Isobel kicked Michael beneath the table. He tore his attention from Mr. Valenti to look at her. Her eyes were wide with excitement, her smile so big that her teeth were showing. She was interested. Which made sense‒they were both beautiful enough to be models. Michael gave her a quick little thumbs up.

“And who might you be?”

It took Michael a moment to realize that basically everyone had been introduced to Mr. Valenti except for him and that he was sitting beside him and that he was leaning all close. He had to blink a few times to catch up with what he had clearly missed. When did that happen? 

“Oh, um, Michael. Michael Gue- Gilkes,” he fumbled. Mr. Valenti grinned and grabbed his hand, kissing it once and then a few more times.

“It’s a pleasure to meet someone who graces the Earth with such beauty, Mr. Gilkes,” he said and Michael gulped. What the fuck was happening?

“Oh, thanks, you too,” Michael fumbled. Mr. Valenti chuckled and Isobel gave Michael a look that said ‘damn, look at you’.

Dinner went on with the new addition, only Michael was no longer left out of the conversation. Not that he typically minded being in his own headspace, but he was here to experience everything. Mr. Valenti made sure that he was constantly being talked to, showering him in attention. Every extensive ramble would end with, “And what do you think of that, Mr. Gilkes?”, and Michael would have to answer. It was overwhelming and alluring all at the same time.

When dinner began to wind down and they went to the sitting room, Michael felt like he was in a haze. This is what it was supposed to feel like. He was supposed to be fuzzy and flattered. That was the whole point of this entire trip. He couldn’t wait to go home to Maria and gush about all the attention he was getting, even if it was all acting.

“So, there I was, and there was a bear,” Mr. Valenti explained, standing up in the sitting room as he told his story. Michael mimicked the way Isobel had looked at Sir Alexander and the way Maxwell looked at Jenna, that wide-eyed interested look. He seemed to feed on it. “And he came towards me! Running, growling‒I had to act fast.”

“Bears don’t attack unless provoked,” Sir Alexander said, voice dull with disinterest as it had been every time he spoke this evening. Which was very little.

Mr. Valenti glanced at him for a moment. “This one did.”

“Unlikely. Unless it was a mother and you got too close to her baby,” he said, then paused, “Or this entire story is bullshit which feels more accurate than anything.”

Mrs. Pennington gasped at his language, looking over at him with overly mothering eyes. Sir Alexander just stared back with a face that said ‘what?’. She tilted her head and he took a deep breath, looking away.

“I need a different book,” he said, standing with his cane in hand. He spared Michael a glance before not-so-subtly hitting Mr. Valenti with his cane. Michael tried not to smile because that wasn’t nice.

But the look Sir Alexander gave him was.

Still, Michael was quite sure Mr. Valenti was there to be his romance and he would at least give Mr. Valenti the attention he so clearly wanted. It wasn’t until much later when he ran into Liz in the hall outside the kitchen that he realized maybe he shouldn’t have been so eager to play along.

“Oh, you look normal. I thought you would never get that ‘oh, sir’ look off your face,” she teased. Heat rushed to his cheeks and he tried to gauge if she was mad at him or not. She didn’t seem mad, but most people weren’t too happy when they saw you flirt with someone else after making out with them.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Liz rolled her eyes.

“It’s okay, you aren’t required to be attracted to women,” she said, leaning against the wall with that fond expression on her face. Michael blinked dumbly.

“No,” he said, “I am, I just… have a broad taste.” Bisexual didn’t sound like a very early-1800s thing to say, but the fact that he didn’t say it made him feel kind of stupid too. He bowed his head and heard her little giggle in response. He didn’t realize how tense he was until she smoothed her hand over his shoulder to make him relax.

“Are you having fun being doused in manly attention?” she asked, nose scrunched up as if she knew she was slamming the ’make him blush’ button.

“You aren’t upset with me?” he whispered. Liz scoffed, her hand moving to his cheek.

“Michael, we just kissed a little, I’m not your keeper and I don’t think you feel like I am. Go! Swoon over all the sexy ass guys that you literally came here to be courted by,” she insisted, “Don’t be ashamed of wanting that‒that’s the opposite of the point. You’re supposed to be proposed to by the end of the story, aren’t you?”

Michael nodded and breathed slowly, quietly thanking her with the tilt of his head. She slipped her hand into his hair and tugged him closer.

“Get up in the morning, dress nice, do your hair how you want, and make them all stare. Stop being scared when you’re here to be someone else,” she whispered, ending it with a firm kiss to his lips. 

He went to bed with a plan to do just that.

-

“Can I speak to you for a moment, Mr. Gilkes?”

Michael would be lying if he said he wasn’t shocked to see Isobel and Jenna outside his bedroom door. While they were friends and very friendly, they never really came down to the servants quarters where he’d been set up.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, moving to let her in. The moment they were behind closed doors, Isobel gave a big wild smile that was a whole lot more Isobel than the structured sentence she had greeted him with.

“Me and Kyle started talking last night,” she said, so giddy that he grinned right back.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. Jenna just smiled and shook her head.

“Yes!” Isobel said, giggling, “I really like him, so… I was wondering how you’d feel about possibly switching.”

“Switching?” he repeated, looking between the two women.

“Yes, you get Sir Alexander and I get Mr. Valenti.”

“Or Maxwell, if you want,” Jenna added, “I don’t really mind.”

Michael blinked a few times and tried to order things in his head. They only had about half a week left here and they were all so ready to switch. That wasn’t a part of the story. However, he didn’t want to ruin her time here. She was actually enjoying it and Michael was having fun with Liz… even if she had just told him to get showered by male affection. It was fine. So, he nodded.

“Sure, I’ll take Alexander,” he said. He was the most attractive of them all, in his opinion. Even if he was sort of a dick who Michael clearly annoyed.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Isobel asked. He nodded.

“Of course not, go be happy.”

-

“I have a fun little task for you all!”

Michael nearly sighed when Mrs. Pennington announced that. He found that the best way to enjoy this place now that Isobel had asked for Mr. Valenti was to quietly sit beside Sir Alexander and sketch while he read. He wouldn’t say it was accurate bonding time, but it had resulted in some of the calmest moments he’d had since he arrived. He was pretty content on doing that until the ball where Sir Alexander would probably propose to him even though they’d done nothing but annoy each other at the least.

“I have written a play that I would like you all to star in!” Mrs. Pennington said cheerily. Isobel, Kyle, and Maxwell all made sounds of intrigue, Michael and Jenna managed a smile, and Sir Alexander…

“Absolutely not,” he said. She gave him that motherly look like she did quite often. “No, I’m not doing that.”

“Yes, you are, so split into pairs,” Mrs. Pennington pushed. Alexander scoffed, dropping his head into his hand. Michael eyed him for a moment. It felt ungodly disrespectful. He almost smiled. “Ladies choice?”

“I guess we can be a pair, Mr. Evans,” Jenna said. He grinned with what could only be described as heart eyes.

“And, Mr. Valenti, I would enjoy your company,” Isobel said. Kyle looked supremely excited about that. Which left Michael to be paired with Alexander, which was expected since Isobel had asked him to switch suitors. Still, it felt weird. He kept replaying that moment in his mind where he insulted his cane only to realize he had a false leg.

“I guess that leaves us, Sir Alexander,” he said. Alexander picked up his head and looked at him, nodding with a sigh. He looked extremely disinterested in the entire prospect. Michael understood because he wasn’t really keen on the whole thing either.

Still, Mrs. Pennington pushed them to go run lines.

Michael found himself walking through the garden with a man who probably hated walking through the garden with his cane. It added an extra layer of guilt to the whole situation.

“I’m sorry about this, Sir Alexander,” Michael said, holding back a tree branch so it wouldn’t hit the man, “I’ll do my best not to annoy you.”

“You don’t annoy me,” he said almost before Michael finished speaking, “You make me nervous.” Michael froze for a moment and blinked at the man who walked past him. “And call me Alex.”

Michael watched him continue to walk and mulled over his words. Oh, he thought after a moment, this is the pairing I was supposed to have. He cleared his throat and ruffled his hair in hopes that his curls looked alright. Mrs. Pennington had given him a look from hell when she saw it. But, hey, he looked better and Liz had said to enjoy himself and look good. And he was going to look good for the guy he was supposed to be paired with.

“So, you like horses?” Michael said as he followed Alex towards the bench he was sitting at. Alex huffed a laugh and nodded, straightening out the leg with the prosthetic. Michael eyed it for a moment before he realized he was probably being extremely rude. When he looked up, Alex didn’t seem to mind.

“When I was first starting PT, they asked me to decide on a goal-- what I wanted to be able to do again-- and focus on it. I chose horseback riding,” Alex admitted, “It’s the only reason I was able to save you the other day, so… you’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” Michael said, sitting beside him, “That’s really impressive.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Alex said, shaking his head. When he looked towards Michael, the fact that they were always intended to be paired made even more sense. “Can I ask you a question? Why did you come to this place?”

Michael chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know. I really enjoy everything about the time period‒well, most things about the time period. I like the dramatics of it all.”

“Really? I think the only thing I like is the simplicity. It’s so easy to just exist in a place that feels cut off,” Alex admitted. Okay, this was easy. Holding a conversation with him was easy.

“Absolutely. And the clothing is super fun,” Michael added, nodding towards the proper garb Alex had on. Michael’s was loose and peasant-y, but it was still comfy and simple.

“And it’s quiet. Super quiet. No constant noise like it is everywhere else,” he said and Michael again agreed. He lived in an apartment, quietness was a virtue.

“And,” Michael said, pausing for a moment as he tried to build up his inner Maria. He could be ballsy too, “The men.”

Alex stared at him and a slow smile slinked onto his face. It was world-altering. It was a very comforting thing to see and Michael had to wonder why he didn’t do it more often. He should do it all the time.

“The men,” Alex echoed.

Michael breathed slowly as they stared at each other for a moment. He could feel his cheeks heating up and his mind swim frantically as he tried to think of something to say so he didn’t sound stupid. He found himself desperately trying not to embarrass himself that he hadn’t even felt around Liz. Well, he always wanted to avoid embarrassing himself, but this felt like a life or death situation. It wasn’t… but it was.

“I-I like that there’s time to draw here,” Michael added limply. Alex’s head tilted in interest.

“Right, you’re an artist,” he said, casually snatching Michael’s sketchbook from his arms like that was something you do. He clearly didn’t have the same panicky thought process that Michael did.

“Uh, yeah, but don’t‒”

Michael’s protests didn’t really do much of anything as Alex continued to flip through his sketchbook and seeing drawing after drawing of his own damn face. Michael wondered if perhaps the dirt was loose enough to bury himself under.

“You seem to have a lot of me,” Alex said casually. There was nothing condescending in his tone or anything mocking on his face. He was just curious. Michael imagined Isobel or Maria squeezing his hand and nodded.

“You’re aesthetically pleasing and… quiet and curious. You’re, like, a token Mr. Darcy figure. You’re created to be a fantasy,” Michael answered.

Alex’s fingers gently traced the lines that Michael had drawn of his face, having tried and failed to capture the beauty of him. Still, Alex seemed impressed and entranced and Michael thanked whoever was listening that he wasn’t being shamed.

“So… I’m your fantasy?” Alex asked, tilting his head towards Michael. He felt his heart drop into his stomach and he tried not to gulp. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He channeled Maria once again.

“Well, you do your job very well.”

Alex didn’t smile at this, he just nodded and turned to look back at the sketchbook. Michael wasn’t sure if he’d fucked up or not.

He hoped not.

-

Three hours of not-so-successful line-running, Michael and Alex made their way out of the garden. It went as well as one could imagine practicing a shitty play would be. They got distracted and talking more about things that felt much more interesting than the play itself. Like Alex’s penchant for cooking and his history in the Air Force and Michael’s job as an English teacher and the existence of his best friend Maria. It had him feeling a little more jittery than expected.

That jitteriness was immediately shut down and replaced by worry when he saw Isobel and Mr. Valenti making out against one of the sheds, hardly even trying to hide behind shrubbery. It immediately soured Michael’s mood and he scoffed.

“What?” Alex pressed. Michael gestured haphazardly towards the pair.

“That’s not right,” he said simply.

“Two straight people kissing?” Alex asked. Michael stuck his tongue out at him without thinking which earned him a smile that he quickly ignored.

“She’s kissing an actor, right? Where’s the line at? Where does truth end and fantasy begin when you do stuff like that?” Michael pointed out. He knew Isobel, not incredibly well, but enough to know that she probably wouldn’t understand that it wouldn’t carry on past this week. It was asking for heartbreak when Valenti turned out to be nothing more than an actor doing his job for a paycheck. Perhaps, more than his job description, actually.

“It’s a dangerous game they’re playing, I suppose,” Alex said. 

Michael shook his head.“She’s going to end up heartbroken because of a stupid game and he won’t even feel bad,” he decided. Alex breathed in so deep that Michael had to look over at him. He was already looking right back.

“I don’t know,” he said softly, “A week prior, I never would’ve seen any of this as anything other than a game, but now…”

He never finished his sentence. They stared for a moment until Michael decided that it was far, far too overwhelming and gave him a small nod before walking away. The entire trip back to the house was full of his mind trying to decipher what the hell that meant and then having to remind himself that this was indeed a game. It meant nothing. He couldn’t be stupid.

Which caused him to stupidly bump into Liz.

“Hello there, Mr. Gilkes,” Liz said, smiling up at him fondly. He had the urge to kiss her if only so he would stop thinking about kissing Alex which was a really terrible reason to kiss someone. So, obviously, he didn’t do it.

“Hi,” Michael said. She laughed at him, stepping up close to him and reaching up to spring one of the loose curls.

“So, how’s it all going?” she wondered. He huffed a laugh and shook his head.

“It’s all right out of a storybook,” he answered, sarcasm dripping from his tone. She smirked.

“That’s the point.”

When she walked past him, he didn’t bother to watch her leave. As gorgeous as she was, he had more pressing matters on his mind. Like the fact that Isobel was kissing an actor or that he was going to have to act in a play even though he was a shitty actor.

The main culprit invading his mind, however, was Sir Alexander Manes himself.

-

Alex was shaking.

“You know, for an actor, you’re pretty shit at this,” Michael whispered to him playfully as they stood backstage. Michael wasn’t really fond of acting on stage, it was actually the worst, but this didn’t feel like acting. There was no audience, it was just the six of them fucking around for Mrs. Pennington.

Alex gave him a pretty nasty glare which didn’t really hit the way it should because he looked downright terrified. It didn’t make sense considering he knew they were going to have to put on this damn play eventually. You’d think he’d be comfortable. But, no, he was nervous.

Still, they galloped on stage at their cue.

“Alas, my dear friend,” Alex mumbled. Michael gave him a smile. 

“Louder,” he instructed softly. Alex took a shaky breath and nodded.

“Alas, my dear friend!” he announced, so loud that his voice cracked. Michael squeezed his eyes shut to try to suppress his laughter. “You’ve been stabbed!”

Michael looked at him with wide eyes. He’d casually skipped half the damn script. With a small laugh, Michael got on the ground to pretend to be dead. Alex stood frozen for a bit before he awkwardly went to sit beside him, overly cautious for his prosthetic leg. 

“You’re supposed to be crying,” Michael told him carefully. Alex blinked and then frowned, sniffling in quite possibly the least believable way. Michael almost started laughing out loud. With a shake of his head, he said his next line. “Tis but a scratch.” 

“Let me hold you, my dear friend,” Alex said, scooting closer. He didn’t actually make any move to hold him which didn’t matter, but it had them both snickering under their breath.

“Oh, this life we have led,” Michael began, gazing up at Alex in the most loving way he could. He wasn’t an actor by any means, but he’d spent enough time playing Maria’s fake boyfriend to pretty accurately capture an ‘in love’ face. “I fear the day we let it go.”

“We will meet again. Ours are meant to be in every lifetime,” Alex spoke back, again too softly but Michael didn’t bother correcting him. He just smiled at him.

“Ah, for this moment, if it may be my last, it seems we are alone in this world. Just you and I in this very moment,” Michael recited dramatically. Alex just stared at him.

“I love you,” he blurted suddenly. Michael’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at him. That wasn’t in the script. Had he really forgotten the script that badly? Alex’s eyes widened at his mistake and Michael just managed a comforting little smile.

Maxwell badly galloped onto the stage behind them in an off-kilter rhythm. 

“You’re supposed to be dead,” he whispered to them. 

“Oh, yeah,” Michael said, dropping to the floor completely in his death and Alex managed an ‘oh no’ that almost revived him with laughter.

A little commotion went on around them as Michael played dead, the image of Alex saying ’I love you’ cycling through his mind over and over and over. What a weird thing to throw in. 

“And they all died!” Jenna announced a little too early or perhaps not, causing a slow slinking of his fellow “actors” to the floor. Alex laid on his chest.

If anyone asked him, he would say it was a very successful performance.

-

High on the adrenaline of the play, Michael grabbed Alex’s arm the moment they got off stage.

“Let’s get out of here,” he pressed. Alex blinked curiously but nodded with a smile. 

Michael gave Alex time to grab his cane before they began rushing away from the makeshift stage, speed walking away from it all and towards the house. Alex stayed close as they moved, smiles on both of their faces. It was hard to pinpoint where it all came from. He just knew one minute Alex was laying on his chest and the next he needed to get him alone.

They found themselves huddled behind the door of Michael’s bedroom, bodies all but touching as they took each other in. Alex had been beautiful since the first day, but seeing him smile like that felt like a brand new type of gorgeous. It flurried into Michael with new knowledge of his shitty stage acting skills and soft hair and the way he felt on his chest. 

This is what it should feel like. 

Michael remembered Maria trying to explain to him what it felt like whenever she really, really liked someone, especially back in high school. She’d explained the heart-pounding, mind-numbing, euphoric feeling of it all. He always thought it was bullshit. While he wanted something out of a book, he couldn’t understand how anyone real could make you feel that way. Now, here he was, giddy to be alone with a boy for once. It didn’t feel like dread or duty like he usually felt whenever he found himself alone in a room with someone. This felt like he wanted it.

He didn’t let go of his hand.

“I feel someone in the early 19th century might have a few words to say about two men who close themselves in a bedroom together,” Alex whispered, though he made no move to back away or let go.

However, his words shattered Michael’s thoughts and rudely reminded him that he was an actor. This wasn’t real. This was a game that he signed up for. He shouldn’t feel so comfortable.

But he did. And, for a moment he considered pleading him to stay.

Instead, he said, “Maybe I should let you go then. Wouldn’t want to get either of us into trouble.” He paused for a moment, squeezing Alex’s hand. As long as he was aware this wasn’t real, he could be a little reckless. Just a little. “I had fun with you.”

“So did I.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before he blinked and looked to the side. He took a deep breath and then gave a curt smile before turning to open the door. He turned the handle and everything, but he paused before he pushed it open.

“Mr. Gilkes, during the ball tomorrow… may I steal a dance or two?”

“Yes, of course, Sir Alexander,” Michael agreed, that giddy feeling slowly but surely rearing its head again.

Alex nodded and then very quickly seemed to make a decision, turning back to Michael and capturing his hand again. Michael held his breath.

“When I look at you, I feel right for the first time in my life,” he admitted, completing the romantic fantasy in Michael’s mind. He truly was the perfect actor.

Alex pressed a kiss to the palm of Michael’s hand and let it linger for a moment. It felt more intimate than anything Michael had ever experienced in his life. It made his heart pound. 

“Good night, Mr. Gilkes,” Alex said softly, quickly disappearing outside of the door and leaving Michael alone.

His mind was in a haze as he went to his bed, laying down fully clothed. He wanted to replay those last few minutes in his mind forever. He wanted to tell Maria. He wanted so much.

He wanted that feeling to never, ever go away.

-

The ball was everything a young Michael could’ve ever dreamed of.

Fancy costumes, beautiful men and women, live early Romantic era music, dancing. He couldn’t even help the smile that overcame his face as he, Jenna, and Isobel made their way into the ballroom. It was the real answer to his fantasies and suddenly the whole week was worth everything awful that had happened.

In the sea of bodies, he spotted Liz who gave him a little wave and a wink. She was wearing a dress for the first time, dressed up in a way similar to Isobel and Jenna. It was different, but she still looked gorgeous. Jenna got whisked away by Maxwell, Isobel got whisked away by Mr. Valenti, and Michael considered whisking away with Liz until a familiar face stood in front of him.

Alex looked even better in his special occasion fancy garb than he did in his daily fancy garb. The pale blues of the suit made his skin look even darker than it usually did and accented his already dazzling eyes. Michael was immediately brought back to the night before whenever they had snuck off to his room for nothing more than a kiss on the hand.

“May I have this dance?”

Michael held out his hand, allowing him to pull him into a very Regency-esque dance that had been taught to them through the week, but Michael had already known. It was something he did in his free time, something he did when he needed to remember what the point was. It was natural to him. Doing it with a good looking man, however, was new.

“You know, I seem to recall you saying you didn’t like social events such as this,” Michael pointed out with a grin.

“I can make an exception, I suppose,” Alex said softly. Michael raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, I can make you enjoy this?”

Alex stared at him for a moment, confliction on his face before he quickly pulled Michael off the dance floor. Michael let him, though the confusion never left his face.

“Michael, can we speak for a moment? I need to tell you something that-- that I'm not supposed to tell you,” Alex said, his eyes shifting over to someone. When Michael followed his gaze, he saw Mrs. Pennington all but staring them down. Alex gave his hand a little squeeze. “Please?”

“O-Okay,” Michael said dumbly, letting himself be pulled through the crowd. He overheard Maxwell wistfully propose to Jenna and then Mr. Valenti wistfully propose to Isobel. His stomach started churning. 

Alex tugged him outside onto the balcony, closing the door behind them and creating a world for just them. He stood close, his cane beside both of their feet as he leaned in. His eyes were so big and worried and nervous that Michael couldn’t help but listen attentively.

“I-I know that I made quite a horrible first impression on our first meeting, but I hope I’ve changed that. You see, I had no intention to even speak to anyone here more than I had to, much less fall for anyone, but I did and I have and I… I feel connected to you in a way I haven’t before and I just can’t imagine never seeing you again,” Alex gushed, seeming so sincerely honest. Michael stared at him, eyes growing wider each moment. He was a fantastic actor. “Is there any hope that I can see you after this is over?” 

There was something awful about how conflicted Michael felt in that moment. The illogical side that was still caught up in the feeling of the night before wanted to say yes. He wanted to tug him close and kiss him and never leave. But this wasn’t real. Every single emotion he was feeling was intended from the start. 

“Oh,” Michael whispered, slowly pulling away from him. Alex’s face dropped. “I didn’t realize this would feel so…”

Alex’s eyebrows pulled together, his head tilting like a desperate puppy would. “So what?”

“Fake.”

Michael took a large step away, watching as Alex got a downright pitiful expression on his pretty features. It made it harder to leave.

“No, but it’s not‒”

“No, you were right, this is a dangerous game that I shouldn’t have played in the first place,” Michael said. He didn’t think it would’ve felt so bad had he not had that moment of belonging and security in his bedroom the night prior. That felt too good to be fake. But it was and that made him feel uncomfortable. “I want something real.”

Michael didn’t stay long enough to hear anything else Alex might have to say, instead quickly escaping into the ballroom again to find the one real thing he had experienced in the entire week he’d been there. It took him a moment, but he did eventually find Liz’s short stature in the sea of people, talking to an elderly woman with a smile on her face.

“Liz,” he called. She turned him with pleading eyes. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Yes, please,” Liz agreed, taking his hand.

Her laughter followed him as they all but sprinted away and out of the house. He made sure she had a good hold on her dress before making a beeline through the grass to the little shed they’d danced in earlier in the week. He didn’t really let himself breathe until he fell onto her couch.

“Any reason in particular we just made a great escape?” she asked teasingly. He closed his eyes, breathing in slow. He tried to push away the conflicted feelings he had about leaving Alex. He was a fucking actor. 

“I realized that you were the only person who hasn’t been putting on a show for the whole week,” he said softly. It helped convince himself just a little bit more that he indeed made the right choice.

Until she didn’t respond.

Liz stayed quiet until he pried his eyes open. She looked downright guilty. He felt his heart drop into his stomach. God, he needed Maria.

“I don’t think I was really putting on a show, but,” Liz said, grimacing as she spoke slow and controlled, “I was originally intended to be your love interest. I’m an actress.”

“Of fucking course,” Michael groaned, slapping his hand over his eyes. Of course. The one real thing wasn’t even fucking real.

“But I really do like you, you know, as a person. I had so much fun with you and I felt bad about tricking you like that, so I put some space between us. Nothing I did with you was acting, though,” Liz explained. Michael sighed dramatically all over again. Suddenly, he realized that he was indeed getting all of this out of his system. This was all one giant mindfuck.

“Well, thanks for telling the truth, I guess,” Michael whispered. It suddenly made a bit more sense that Alex didn’t really start giving him any attention until halfway through. She backed out and Alex had to swoop in and save the day. How very Mr. Perfect of him.

“I would want to be told the truth, so…” Liz explained, shrugging. He lulled his head back on the couch and tried to let it all sink in. If he knew how badly this was going to feel, he never would’ve blown so much money on it in the first place.

“Can I admit something, though?” Michael asked.

“Sure.”

“Alex’s character was pretty convincing,” he said softly, again imagining that safe feeling in his bedroom paired with the soft kiss to his hand, “There were moments where it felt real.”

Liz just gave that comforting smile of hers and placed a hand on his shoulder. He decided that would have to do.

“I know.”

-

“I think me and Kyle are going to keep seeing each other after this.”

Michael looked up from where he was packing his bags and saw Jenna staring too. Isobel seemed very blissfully into the idea that whatever they were was legit. Michael wasn’t sure if he should say something. Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t. He didn’t know and he didn’t want to upset her for anything.

“I have to admit,” Jenna said with a smile, “They could be pretty dreamy when they need to be. My sister is gonna love all the stories.”

“My friend is too,” Michael agreed. As much as he knew Maria was fed up with his obsession, he also knew that she was a sucker for any story that involved a gushy romance. He was walking away with two different versions of that.

They finished packing up their things before heading outside. The carriage was waiting for them, all ready to wheel them away so they could go home and return to modern life. Michael couldn’t tell if he was sad to leave his childhood dream or glad to get away from the drama. 

“You know, I had a lot of fun with you guys,” Michael said, sighing softly as he took in the large house behind him, “I hope we can keep in touch. Like, on social media.”

“Aw, me too,” Isobel gushed, squeezing him in a hug. Jenna laughed gave his arm a little squeeze.

“Absolutely,” she said with a smile.

Maybe this thing wasn’t a total bust. If he was walking away with friends, then maybe it was worth it.

“Wait!” 

They all turned to see Alex hauling ass after them with his cane in hand. Michael furrowed his eyebrows as Alex came towards him, desperation on his face. Really?

“Michael, please,” he said as he got close, “I never lied to you, you have to know that.” Michael shook his head, giving the nicest smile he could manage.

“It’s okay, I know you’re just doing your job. And you were the perfect fantasy. You can stop now.”

“But I‒”

“No, it’s okay,” Michael assured him, seeing Alex’s face scrunch up in a panic, “I’m over it.”

Michael made his way towards the carriage and gave Alex one last look. The man looked torn, like he didn’t know whether to keep at it or to let him go. He let him go. Michael let out a heavy sigh as he sat across from Jenna and Isobel.

They were silent for a moment as the carriage got going. No one said anything until the large house was completely out of sight. Isobel reached across to put her hand on his knee and gave it a little squeeze. He was able to relax just a bit, even if Alex was still on his mind.

“You know, Alex did a very good job at pretending to fall in love with you,” Isobel noted kindly. Michael snorted, nodding his head.

“Yeah, he really did.”

“He asked me if there was any way I could go with Kyle so he could spend more time with you. Good thing, though, since we really hit it off,” she informed him like it was something to ignore. Jenna’s eyes widened a little and shot a look at Michael. He was already feeling overwhelmed. He gulped.

Michael spent the rest of the ride to the airport trying to rationalize why Alex would have requested him. That didn’t make sense, especially since he was supposed to be with Liz originally. Why would he do that? And, hell, why would he have asked Isobel and not Kyle or Mrs. Pennington?

He got on the plane, trying to convince himself that it didn’t matter.

-

Dorothy was right, there really was no place like home.

Michael instantly curled up on the couch the minute he got inside, breathing in the comforting smell of home and nothing more. He was going to be alright. Whatever that experience was, it was necessary for him to move on.

He glanced around at all his floral and antique decor and decided that could all stay. Just because he no longer felt the need to pretend he was going to have a great Mr. Darcy love, that didn’t mean he couldn’t like his aesthetic. He would have to remove the giant cardboard cutouts, though. 

Michael stood up after a moment and lit a candle, letting it make the room smell like home even more. He needed that comfort. As he settled into the soothing smell of lavender, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see follow requests from Jenna, Isobel, and even Liz. That made him feel even more at home. He didn’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend or anything to be at home. He just needed friends.

He called Maria.

“Hey!” she answered, sounding as cheery as ever. Michael smiled. He missed her a lot. It felt like too long. 

“Are you home?"

"Yeah, don't have to be at the bar until later."

"Well, you were right, I’m over it,” he sighed, “Even perfect guys aren’t perfect.”

Maria made a mournful little noise, “Oh, honey. I’ll be right over.”

“See you soon.”

The call ended and he put his phone down. Michael closed his eyes for a moment as he stood there, taking in the smell of the candle and the security that came with Maria being on her way. He was going to survive this. He didn’t need Alex.

Alex, Alex, Alex. The confusing man haunted his mind. The confusing man he wanted out of his mind. Whatever that was, it wasn’t real. Alex was an actor and he played his job well. Too well. Honestly, dangerously well.

A few minutes later, Maria knocked on the door and Michael smiled thankfully. He quickly made his way to open it and prepared himself for the backbreaking hug she was going to give him, only to not receive it. Instead, Sir Alexander Manes stood across from him nearly out of breath and wide-eyed and in normal clothing. Hell, he even had a leather jacket.

He looked even better.

“I tried to catch you at the airport and I missed you by a few seconds, so I got on the next flight here and I ran and I wanted to give you this,” Alex said, leaning harder on his cane as he held out the sketchbook he’d forgotten. Michael’s eyes went wide and he stared at him, more than a little confused.

“You came all the way here to give me this?” Michael asked, very hesitantly taking the book from Alex’s hand. He nodded sincerely.

“Yes.”

“That’s a little extreme,” Michael pointed out. Alex’s face fell again and he nodded once, licking his lips.

“Right, sorry,” he said, using the wall to help him balance. He almost took a step in the opposite direction to leave, but then he stopped. Michael would never admit how thankful he was that he stopped. “Look, I’m an ex-Airman. I just got discharged because of my injury and I haven’t done anything in a long time, so my aunt basically forced me to come play stand-in before Kyle could come. I’m not an actor, I’m just some guy who… who fell for you. Really, really hard. We just connected like something wild, like something…”

Michael took a slow breath and tried not to smile. This felt too overwhelming, too much like a romcom, too fake. But he was here. Would he really be here if it was fake?

“Cosmic?” Michael offered. Alex smiled.

“Yes, cosmic,” he agreed, adjusting his stance to stand up straighter. He fixed his grip on his cane. “I used to think my aunt’s work was ridiculous and I thought all the people went there were too. But, the truth is, I really enjoyed it, just like we talked about. For a moment, love that simple was very real to me. Then I realized it was because it was that simple. Love is the easiest thing and I want that with you if you’ll let me.” 

Michael smiled so simply and almost leaned forward. He almost gave in, he almost melted. But this really was too good to be true.

“You don’t even know me,” Michael said softly. He didn’t walk away like his brain was telling him to, though. He didn’t close the door. He wanted so badly to be convinced.

“But I would like to.”

“Alex…” Michael trailed off. Please be real, please be real, please be real.

“You said you didn’t want fake. I don’t want that either. Do you think… we could try to be something real together? I promise I won’t show up at your door without warning ever again,” he said with a warm smile. 

The tone he used reminded him of the kiss on the hand he’d given him and how comfortable he felt being alone with him. Even now, he couldn’t find himself to be weirded out that he’d come all this way to give him back his book. It felt sincere. He seemed so, so sincere. 

For a moment, he got lost in how sincere the kiss on the hand felt.

For a moment, he wondered what it would be like to kiss him for real.

For a moment, he almost did.

“No, no, this isn’t real! Don’t you get that?” Michael laughed, turning and walking a bit deeper into the apartment before turning back to him. Space would help get his mindset back. Alex never crossed the threshold, he just stared with hope in his eyes. “This is a story, this is a fantasy. You can’t be real.”

“Michael, can’t you understand that you are my fantasy?” Alex asked. Michael sighed and his shoulders dropped, his heart thudding wildly in his chest. God, he wanted to kiss him.

“You can’t say stuff like that when you don’t mean it,” Michael whispered as a last-ditch effort. However, he was already gravitating back towards Alex. “You don’t know me. I don’t know you.”

“And I will tell you everything there is to know. I will prove to you that everything is real, I swear,” Alex promised. Michael couldn’t even fight the stupid smile from taking over his face even though he wished he could look a little more serious in this situation. “You say I’m a fantasy or something, but you’re the one who is too good to be true. You're kind and talented and beautiful. You're shy while also somehow managing to speak your mind. I'm just so intrigued to learn every little detail about who you are. Please, let me."

“Man, I really wanna kiss you now,” Michael huffed, still smiling. This was real. This was his. He was allowed to have this. 

Alex smiled right back.“Then do it.”

Michael closed the distance between them, both of his hands grabbing onto Alex’s face and kissing him. It was easily the best kiss he’d ever had, something better than he could’ve ever imagined. He was so comfortable. He was at home. This was it. This was everything.

This is what he was supposed to feel.

He really was going to get his true fairytale ending.

[yuzusorbet]

Fantasy On Ice, Sendai, May 31 (Fri) to June 2 (Sun) 2019 ~my account~

[wrote it for myself, to remember all the little details]

When I heard that Sendai was one of the places for Fantasy On Ice 2019, I immediately knew I had to get tickets.  I made my first trip to Sendai in April 2018 for Yuzuru Hanyu’s Olympic victory parade and I fell in love with Yuzu’s hometown.  FaOI Sendai would be the perfect occasion to visit again!  I quickly asked some friends for help and, miraculously, they managed to get tickets for all 3 shows from the official ticket draws.  I’m eternally grateful!  At that time, Yuzu’s participation was not yet announced but we knew he would be there.  Even if he couldn’t do jumps yet, he would definitely make an appearance in his hometown.  Weeks later, it was announced that he would be in the shows in all 4 locations.  Fans were delirious with joy!  Besides the thought of seeing him, it also meant he was recovering well!

This would be my 4th Yuzu-ice show.  2015 I went to FaOI Kobe; 2017 Niigata; 2018 Shizuoka.  So glad Sendai is an FaOI location this year;  it’s the first time!  

I flew into Tokyo Haneda Airport and took the shinkansen to Sendai.  My hotel is very near the main station.  The show venue is Sekisui Heim Super Arena, in a small town called Rifu, north of Sendai, in Miyagi Prefecture.  It is not easily accessible, so there were special shuttle buses to take us there from Sendai Station.  We had to buy the bus tickets from a vending machine in 7-11 in advance.  Cost for a 2-way ticket was 2500 yen, half-price for one-way.  

Day 1, Friday (show time: 5pm) 

At about 3pm, I followed signs that pointed to ‘FaOI shuttle bus’, which basically meant following the crowd.  (The long queue was to the right of this photo.)

Boarding the bus in an orderly manner.  Each bus moved off once it was full.

On the bus, I looked around me and wanted to laugh.... everyone’s phone screen or wallpaper was Yuzu’s face!  hahaha...... it was surreal. xD

It was a long bus ride, about 45 minutes.  We finally reached and I saw many stalls selling food outside the arena.  But the sky was grey and rainy, and suddenly the drizzle became very heavy rain.  I quickly lined up to go into the arena.  Thank goodness I had my waterproof parka.  Much better than an umbrella!

When I got to my seat, I had a nice surprise.  The people sitting next to me were Taiwanese fans that I had met during Yuzu’s parade last year!  So happy to see them again! 

Besides the great company, my seat position was really good too.  Right in the centre of one long side (East) and not far from the rink for an ‘A’ seat!  (First row is Premium, then Arena, SS, S, A, B.)

While waiting for the show to start, we chatted and exchanged gifts.  One of them gave me a little drawstring bag with a single feather embroidered on it.  A simple design that is so beautiful, especially for us Yuzu-fans.  I was so touched.  I only had snacks from my country to offer. :P

Then the show started.  When Yuzu came out for the opening, we all screamed!!!!  He danced with so much energy and happiness pouring out of him and his jump was awesome!  It was a 4T with a high kick, and then, as he danced in front of the whole group of skaters, he did a “I can’t hear you, c'mon” kind of gesture to the audience. (You can see it HERE.)  OMG he was so cool!!! I don’t know how the people sitting on the short side, right in front of him, survived.

2nd part of the opening:  Yuzu skated in with Jeff, Javi and Luca, and they were joined by 4 ladies.  His pair dance with ice dancer Anna Cappellini was so cute! And he was so smooth and confident! 

Individual performances: so many wonderful performances…. I will mention some of them at the end.

When singer ToshI came onto the stage, he said, “Sendai is figure skating and we have 2 Olympic gold medalists here… Arakawa Shizuka (loud cheers) and Hanyu Yuzuru!!!!!!” (loud screams)   Then he did the Yuzu-call......

ToshI: YUZU!!  (points mike to audience) Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: YUZU!! Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: YUZU!! Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: But he’s not coming out yet. (hahaha…..) (Next was Stephane Lambiel.) 

Yuzu’s performance was last, as usual.  'Masquerade’ was so passionate and intense that my heart was thumping like crazy and I had to scream at many parts (and I heard  others’ screaming as well).  The music plus ToshI’s singing was very loud and drowned out our screams, thank goodness.  When Yuzu threw down his glove at the end, we all jumped to our feet and screamed and clapped.  MASQUERADE WAS ELECTRIFYING!!!  Video here.

Finale: Yuzu came out in the finale costume (black and white with frilly sleeves). So handsome!  After the group number, he disappeared backstage while the others did their jump or spin battles.  He appeared again wearing the  FaOI tee, wiping his face with a towel and sipping from a water bottle.  Then he went to stand next to Plushenko.  He tried the quad lutz, popped first time, then 2nd time he stepped out a bit.   When all the skaters started to go back in, one by one in a line, he did the 'high ten’ with each of them, some hugged him, he twirled Anna, and then Luca twirled him!  haha…. that was so cute!   Then as always, he stepped out of the rink, and from the side of the stage, he shouted “arigato gozaimashita!!!”  He bowed, walked backwards while waving, and before he disappeared through the curtains, he blew us a kiss!!  I think I died……

The show ended at about 8.30pm.  Rainy, dark, and took forever to get onto one of the shuttle buses that took us back to Sendai Station.  But head is totally filled with Yuzu and Masquerade, and heart is totally happy. :)

Day 2, Saturday (show time: 2pm)

On Day 2, I did not take the shuttle bus.  My friend Ella came to watch the Saturday and Sunday shows.  Her Japanese friend rented a car and drove us there.  (5 of us in the car made the shared cost much cheaper than the shuttle bus ticket.) 

It was a sunny day and I was very excited about the food (which I did not try on Day One due to rain).  From afar, I saw the tentage.....

When I got there, the whole place was like a carnival!  As I wandered around, someone suddenly tapped my arm.  It was my fan-friend K-chan!  How amazing that she spotted me among the crowds!  The last time we met was one year ago at FaOI Shizuoka!  So happy to see her, even if it’s only for a minute. xD

The stalls were awesome.  I have never seen food at previous ice shows!  The food sold here were specialties of Sendai and the regions nearby, and there were long queues at every stall.  There was nama biru (draft beer), miso ramen, yakisoba, gyu-tan (grilled beef tongue), croquette with bits of gyu-tan inside, skewers of Yonezawa beef (famous beef from Yamagata), and zunda soft serve ice-cream (zunda = sweet edamame bean paste).

  Above: my Zunda ice-cream.... so yummy.

Above: Gyutan.  Below: Croquette and Yonezawa beef.

I wish I could eat everything!  But I only had time to try these 4 things over Sat and Sunday.  They tasted SO GOOD.  (Thanks to Ella for her recommendations!)  There were many benches near the stalls and people were sitting there enjoying the food under the blazing sun.  

It felt like a festival to celebrate Yuzu being there. :))  Besides the official merchandise, there were also booths selling Sendai snacks in beautiful FaOI packaging and music boxes of Ballade No.1 and SEIMEI.   There was even a photo booth with staff helping fans to take photos! xD 

And when you got into the ice arena, every seat had a plastic bag with some promotional material and a pack of FaOI Sendai wet wipes!  haha….. so you could wipe your sticky hands and mouth if you brought food in to eat! 

Sendai, you really are the best! :D  (So, I have 3 of these wet wipes from the 3 days but I can’t even bear to open one of them to use!)

For Day 2, I was on the other long side (West) and a bit off-centre nearer the short side.  So I had a totally different angle of the show and my row was nearer the rink than yesterday -- fantastic!  The person next to me was also Ella’s friend and she offered me some lovely sweets.  Yuzu-fans are really sweet! :)

Opening: Yuzu fell on his opening 4T, so when he came out again with the other 3 guys (Jeff, Luca and Javi), he did a beautiful 4T before doing the usual steps with the others.  Hahaha, I was laughing inside, that is so HIM!

In the middle of show: ToshI’s YUZU-call this time was even longer than Day 1!  Felt like we were at a rock concert!  He made each side of the rink call out “Yuzu!” 3 times, like a battle to see which side was louder.   So it was one long side first, then the short side (in the video below, you can hear it’s a bit softer cos short side has less people), then the other long side.   Toshl says in his blog that this is the “やりすぎ編😅 ”, meaning the “too much (or overdone) version”.   Haha…. I like Toshl.   (Didn’t know him before this.)  We were all so high shouting “YUZU!!!” with all our lung power! xD Video of Day 2 Yuzu-call (ToshI’s blog)

Something comical: During the flying acrobatic skaters’ performance, I could see 4 or 5 men at one corner outside the rink pulling the rope to raise the skaters into the air.  They were running to and fro holding the rope and they were so funny!   End of performance, when the 2 skaters bowed, the men also bowed in their corner and waved as they marched off in a line!  Haha........ (this could only be seen from seats on the West side.)

Intermission: In previous FaOI’s, during intermission, 2 of the skaters (but never Yuzu) came out in zambonis and shot little presents to the audience, like signed FaOI tees.  So I waited a while but there was nothing happening... (same for all 3 days).  So I went for a walk to stretch my legs.  Went to put my fan letter into the gift box for Yuzu.  It’s just a simple postcard from my country. :) 

Last performance: Yuzu’s ‘Crystal Memories’ –- so beautiful I think I forgot to breathe. The Y-spiral was near my side of the rink.  His right leg raised up high was slowly lowered in a beautiful line with his body and it was just so heavenly to watch from where I was.  So many other exquisite moments...... words won’t do justice. Watching live, costumes always sparkle and glitter 100 times more than what we see on screen.  Yuzu was so sparkly he looked like an angel of light, sent from heaven to bring beauty and love to our world. Video of 'Crystal Memories’

Finale: As the skaters skated around the rink waving, Yuzu skated slowly, looking up at the audience.  I think he was trying to see as many fan-banners as he could. Like yesterday, he went backstage to change out of the finale costume and wore the FaOI tee to do the quad challenge.  The 4Lutz today was a step-out/hand-down.  The staff were putting some chairs onto the ice near the stage. When Yuzu realised it’s group photo time, he dashed backstage and came out very quickly in the black-and-white finale costume again, and he was grinning away.   Haha, it was a really quick change!  I wonder who the lucky person was, helping him backstage. xD

At the very end: He shouted 'arigato-gozaimashita!’ and we shouted back 'arigato-gozaimashita!’   Then, just before he disappeared into the curtains, he did the phantom 'take-off-the-mask’ gesture.  And we SCREEEEEEEEAMED!!! xD

I floated on cloud nine to the car park.....  Soon we were on our way back to Sendai Station area.  In the car journeys to and fro, the music was excellent, thanks to a friend who has a Yuzu-playlist in her phone which she connected to the car stereo.  All the music that he has skated to, from novice til now.... SP, FP, exhibitions..... ahhhh what great music..... it was really the GREATEST selection!

As we reached Sendai Station area, a funny thing happened.  Our friend drove onto the wrong road and we found ourselves on a highway going off to a different area!  She frantically looked for an exit but there were none.  We just had to keep going on this highway, further and further away from Sendai Station!  Then I saw a sign saying we’re heading for「泉中央」...... hey, isn’t that the area of Ice Rink Sendai?  We’re heading for Yuzu’s home?  Our friend kept apologising for going the wrong way but we told her IT’S OKAY!!!!  We’re going to Yuzu’s home!!!  Hahaha..... the wrong road suddenly felt so right! xD

The sun was setting.....  We became quiet.... gazing at the golden colours of Yuzu’s hometown while his music serenaded our senses.

(Glad these photos I took with my iphone in a moving car turned out well.)   After driving for some time, our friend found the way back towards Sendai Station.  We were late in joining a group of fans for dinner but what a nice little detour we had!   Very grateful to our Japanese friend who did all the hard work while we just soaked in the sights and sounds!

Day 3, Sunday (show time: 1pm)

For Day 3, I bought a one-way shuttle bus ticket as I would return by rental car.  Like Day 2, I lined up for food before the show.  The lines were very long and there were staff holding signs that said “end of line (food name)” for each stall so that people would know exactly where to queue.  Moving slowly in line, I used the time to admire the Yuzu-world around me.  Almost everyone was wearing or carrying things that showed their love, like Ciontu tees, Pooh keychains and Irene bags.  I myself was wearing the Phiten mirror ball necklace.  Some things were so beautiful and unique and I took photos.  (edit: separate post made on this; link is below.)

After eating, I walked around and spotted Yuzu’s signature near the arena office!  It was from year 2010!  At that time, the wing in his signature was very distinct.  So cute. :)

Close to 1pm, I went into the arena to look for my seat.  I had an ’S’ ticket and I was excited about being much nearer the rink than the previous 2 days with 'A’ tickets.  But when I got to my seat, I saw that I was only just in front of my row yesterday!   Realised that my 'A’ seat yesterday was the FIRST row of all the 'A’ seats and my S seat today was the LAST row of all the S seats.  Hahaha…….. I was a bit disappointed but then I was really lucky for the A seats!  (Seat order: Premium, Arena,  SS, S, A, B)

The good thing is, I was on the West side again and nearer the stage this time.  I would be able to see Yuzu going in and out very clearly!  And I had my concert binoculars!  I bought it just the night before, from a budget shop near my hotel. Sometimes the shows provide rental of binoculars but this one didn’t.  I usually use it for the finale, when the skaters are just having fun, so I can see Yuzu’s cute expressions. :)

I was also extra happy as I would be sitting next to Ella who came into the arena soon after me.  2 Japanese fans behind us heard us talking and knew we were not Japanese.  They showed us a huge folder with many Yuzu clear files and pamphlets, and asked us if we already have them.  We said no and they took out some to give to us!  Omg..... what super nice fans!!  They said they would be going for Kobe FaOI and Toyama FaOI as well!  They were at Worlds in Saitama too!  (Wow, I wish I could say the same!)  How lucky we were to sit in front of them!   

Opening: Wonderful like the other days and Yuzu did a beautiful 4T.   After the group performance, as he walked towards the backstage curtains, he took off his outer mesh top and swung it around, just before he disappeared thru the curtains.  Haha.... how cute can he be…… xD

Middle of show: ToshI said he talked too much yesterday so today he would say less.  The audience protested a bit with an “Ehhhhhh??”  But there was no Yuzu-call today. :(

During Masquerade,  Yuzu fell on both his jumps.  For us fans, it did not matter at all, but we knew he would feel terrible about it.  I wondered if the temperature was affecting him as the venue was very warm.  Day 1 was OK but it was warmer on Day 2, and on Day 3  I was actually sweating a bit in the middle of the show.  And I wasn’t the only one feeling it cos I saw people fanning themselves.  Literally a very hot FaOI.

Finale: After the group number, Yuzu disappeared backstage to change into the FaOI tee while the others did jump/spin battles.  Came out with towel and water bottle. Wiped sweat, drank water.  Then he did some stretching, and sat on steps at the side of the stage and massaged his legs for quite a long time.  (So glad I was seated that side and I saw him so clearly.)   I guessed he was getting ready for the quad lutz …..  because he fell on both his jumps during Masquerade, he really wanted to do a good jump for us.  He tried 3 times - popped twice and fell on the last one.  And decided it was enough. Thank God!  I was getting worried because he had only just recovered.  My heart was in pain watching him try so hard.  Yuzu, we know you always want to give your best. But please take good care of yourself!   (One week later, he did a beautiful 4Lz in Kobe Day 3!  YES!!!!!!!!)

At the end, instead of the usual deep bow towards all the skaters and artists, he knelt down and bowed with his head on the ice.... orz.   He looked so cute and funny doing that and we all laughed, but our hearts were aching cos we knew he was feeling truly apologetic and extremely ‘kuyashii’....

For the final skating around the rink to wave to the audience, he went to Plushenko and pushed him to the start of the line, then Plush and Yuzu 'circled around each other’ trying to make each other first in line, haha….. it was so sweet.  Video (from Plushenko’s IG) 

At the very end, at the side of the stage, he took the mike and said a few words.  I cannot remember what he said except for this: -  Actually this is not Sendai…. (it’s actually Rifu, just outside Sendai) - He wishes FaOI will come here again. (what else did he say…….. sigh, my head must have been too overwhelmed by this time.)

After shouting arigato-gozaimashita (without the mike), he walked backwards towards the curtained doorway, and just before he disappeared, he bowed deeply and said 'arigato-gozaimashita’ again (with the mike). My heart deeply and sincerely also says, “Yuzu, arigato-gozaimashita!”  Thank you for everything you do!

At past FaOI’s, I always bought one tee and one towel.  (I think they only had one design each.)  This year, they had 2 designs each and it was so hard to choose and Yuzu wore both tees and I love both colours of the towel..... so I bought everything (goodbye my money).  And the FaOI book of course;  the cover and photos inside are so beautiful. 

I felt this was the best FaOI I’ve ever attended.  I will mention briefly some performances that I love a lot.

~Shizuka Arakawa: so beautiful and elegant;  love her skating, esp her spiral and layback ina bauer.  Love her costumes too.  One was white and sparkly, the other had a Japanese style.  Both performances were excellent. ~Nobunari Oda:  Music from the movie 'Ghost' - his skating was so sad, I almost had tears.  Then 'Mission Impossible' was so funny!!!  Really love Nobu-kun! ~Stephane Lambiel: Love both numbers, especially the one with ToshI singing the sad and beautiful Japanese song 'I Love You'. ~’Akai Sweet Pea', sung by ToshI, skating by Johnny Weir.  I love this song!  Originally sung by Seiko Matsuda. ~'Monochrome' by Anna Cappellini and Luca Lanotte: So amazing!!!  Everything looked like a black-and-white movie!  The colour on their skin must have taken a lot of time and effort.  Their performance was superb! ~Rika Kihira: So energetic and strong!  Love the choreo. ~Satoko Miyahara: skated her new SP on Day 1 and her new FP on Day 2 and 3.  I like both a lot! ~Javier Fernandez: the flamenco performance was so fun! 

Plus all the other performances, I enjoyed them all!  Thank you to all skaters and artists and staff! 

On Sunday, once the show ended, Ella rushed out of the arena with her huge bag.  There was a taxi waiting to take her to Sendai Airport to catch her flight home.  I was a bit worried she would miss her flight but she made it, phew!  And she saw some skaters at the airport!  Jeff, Scott, Rika and Satoko!  Wow, they are fast! :D 

A big thank you to Ella and all the Yuzu-fans I met.  I received so much love and so many gifts..... really grateful to all you wonderful people! 

The little pouch with a feather was perfect for my new binoculars.  Will be bringing them along for future events. :) 

So many beautiful things and memories added to my treasure chest.....  Dear Yuzu-kun and Yuzu-fans, til we meet again, take care and God bless!

(Next, I will write about the other places in Sendai that I visited on this trip.)

*All photos are taken by me.  (some faces are blurred for people’s privacy.) *If my memory is not so accurate for some details of the show, my apologies. :)

Added later:

Part 2: Yuzu-world

Part 3: home rink and Olympic monuments

Part 4: Nanakita Park and schools

Part 5: An unexpected journey

Part 6: yuzu and zunda

Part 7: other Yuzu sightings

[ythmir-writes]

Happy Anniversary Midnight Cinderella!!

Roughly five years ago, my poor aching heart was seeking the solace of some good ol’ distraction and though my younger self then had sworn never to touch romance games (packaged as they were to be nothing more than containing nothing but the same, redundant, boring, shallow stories) somehow someway MidCin presented itself to be interesting enough for old-cynical-me to pick up and install! 

Maybe it was the art. Maybe it was the premise that I would get to rule a country. Maybe it was because CyIkemen  (then, Cybird) was so generous and close with its fanbase. Or, maybe it was simply because it was a shiny thing, and I like shiny things.

Or maybe it was all those reasons. I’m not sure now anymore but I am glad I picked it up. Because that is how i dove head first into the Ikemen Series, never to resurface again.

Two things were most refreshing for me in MidCin. First was how in each route, the suitors never fought or bickered for the MC but instead helped the main love interest find love. Although i am an advocate of happy reverse-harem and poly relationships, it was good that the focus was only on one character, and the others rooted for him and MC. Second, the backstory of each suitor was wonderfully fleshed out with just enough gaps left for the reader to fill in. There was a sense of freedom there that allowed readers to speculate, to form their own theories and scenarios as to how the suitors were outside of the main route and I immensely enjoyed daydreaming what-if scenarios. Sometimes, I would be pleasantly surprised at how it would be later on revealed I had hit a mark. But usually, they remained as they were - enjoyable little fanfics that added to my enjoyment of the game. And sometimes, some people in the fandom who stumbled upon these little nuggets enjoyed it too.

MidCin helped me through some rough patches in my life. I made new friends, picked up and never let go of writing again, allowed me to see so many wonderful art and stories from other people too!

Five years later, after so many in-game events, so many Ever Afters, and dozens of birthday stories and reveals, I’m happy to say MidCin still has that charm to keep me glued to it. One day, I would be able to save up enough money to buy all the premium items in the routes, and have the whole package so to speak.

MidCin is my first otome, and as I have always said again and again, would always have a special place in my heart. There’s a comfort in it I keep coming back to, even if I do miss some login bonuses.

Here’s to hoping for more years, fun shenanigans, and wonderful stories for the Wysterians and Steiners!

Happy Anniversary again, MidCin!

[mark-benson]

We should not promote or use sustainable packaging in 2021!

We should not use recyclable packaging because recyclability decreases waste placed in the landfills.In addition, the development of new recycling technologies, or new materials designed as for example mono-material could not only stimulate economy but also increase packaging recycling rate.

We should not use sustainable packaging because the resulting compost could be used on large fields and create some soil enrichment year after year. The consequences could be soil depletion decline, decrease of chemical fertilizer use and thus, potential soil fertility increase.  

We should not use ocean or marine degradable packaging because packaging and material could disappear too quickly in the oceans and then,a possible consequence could be an increase of the quantity and diversity of Pisces that people could fish, especially when it is the main resources for some countries. Therefore, more marine life could increase in the next years.

What a world, if that would be the case…!

At the right packaging company, we love stimulate people and make them look at an issue with another angle. We like challenging opinions and ways of thinking because we know it's when people think differently that we succeed.

So, having that said, what can we do? As long as the first few sentences you read above don't match what you think. Otherwise, feel free to hum the famous song with Doris Day…

…“Que sera sera Whatever will be will be The future's not ours to see”…

The crucial question could be summarized as following: Who is currently building the future of packaging, is it us or them? As an entrepreneur, I would prefer to believe it is in my hands, even if I liked Doris very much.

Another challenge would be:Should we wait the big incremental change in sustainability until it will happen, or should we think that every step, even if it is a little one , is important and that me, you, or few of us have a tangible impact regarding the choice of the right packaging. Furthermore, If we think we have an impact and, as buyers, designers, marketers, engineers, consumers etc., what does it mean for my packaging, my product, my business, my brand? Is it possible to be more profitable and effective with sustainable packaging?

-        First of all, sustainable packaging or environmentally friendly packaging doesn’t (always) mean added or premium cost. We can be cost-effective and save money too. Indeed, less material, less empty space to transport in carton, less EPR (Expended Producer Responsibility) fees,have significant financial impact. 

-        Making the right choice for packaging in line with consumer preference, can also support sales. A convenient, performant and environmentally friendly packaging can be a competitive advantage when two or more solutions exist for similar products.

Let’s look at the following example :As a consumer, if you have the possibility to choose between two bottles of similar sunflower oil, one is at € 2.42 and  the second at € 2.42  with the following message written on the pack:  90 % of sunflower oil consumers think it is important to protect our environment, this packaging is widely recyclable. What would you do?

Align packaging with your brand DNA will reinforce trust and customer loyalty, deliver your promise. Packaging is the first marketing support that all consumer scan see. Products of caring companies are usually seen as superior. It's worth testing sustainable packaging and seeing the impact on sales

Choosing the right packaging is also about knowing the waste management landscape of the country you are operating.Recycling, composting or incinerating packaging with energy recovery, is a choice based on available infrastructures at the national, regional, or even at the city level. This means that implementing, for example, a compostable packaging in a region where no composting infrastructure exist, will create problem in term of waste management. In the best case, packaging will be incinerated with energy recovery and in the worst case, it will jeopardise recycling existing stream and have a negative impact on the environment.

We need to understand that sustainability is a complex and multi-factor issue. In addition to the example I presented above, there is the misinterpretation of fact. For example, in the mind of a lot of people,single use plastics look bad and have a negative environmental impact, people think also that they could generate problem regarding human health. However, the reality is not so black or white.

- All single use plastics are not necessarily bad: Safety masks are made with plastic (polypropylene), the same material than for plastic straws which are banned in many countries. Masks are single use and they could save your life or the life of your grandma! Of course, there are also reusable masks, but they seem to be not as efficient as single use specially for fragile people. This situation applies to many medical plastic single use items. 

How to collaborate in the supply chain to develop the right packaging?Which are the resources to activate to develop sustainable packaging and sustainable growth?How to anticipate the right packaging choice and be ready for the next crisis?

All stakeholders need to be involved.Missing one is a missing impact. We need to look at all the steps in the supply and market chain. We need to be aware of all impacts (expected and related)and score packaging against these criteria, to take the appropriate decision and make the right packaging choice.We need to anticipate the trends by understanding the packaging drivers. This is the purpose of the right packaging company, making people, planet, and business sustainable! Altogether, let’s think beyond.

*Title is provocative, it reflects the opposite thoughts of the right packaging company.

[hellysriggs]

I have no idea whats going on with playchoices and that royal game rn but you seem so invested and its made me so curious as to what just happened pls spill the tea

JASKDJSKADJSALK OMI SAID i ain’t know about ur interests but i am all ears for this chisme…king shit.

so, bear with me now because i, too, am relatively new to the whole playchoices community (long time lurker, first time poster kinda deal). basically, it’s a self-insert lovers’ lil heaven. playchoices is an app made by a company called pixelberry (PB for short) that is made up of different “books” and book series. most of the time you get the chance to create an original character (generally always referred to as “MC” because everyone’s names are different) but there are some books where you don’t have that option. you can choose different races, sometimes different genders, along with having the option to change hairstyles and outfits. some premium content is paid with “diamonds” and you can either “mine” books (because after almost every chapter you get the chance to get 3 free diamonds), wait for the daily 5 diamond a day deal (watching ads), or pay for diamond packages. each chapter costs 1 key and you either way 3 hours for 2 keys to refresh or you pay for keys. the jest of most books is that it’s a romance where you can romance many love interests (often referred to as “LI” for short) or as little. most books require you to romance somebody but there’s always at least one man and one woman for people to pick from.

now that i set up the scene for you, let’s get down to the finer details. the royal game that i’m talking about is called “the royal romance” (TRR for short) and it’s a series of 3 books (book 1, book 2, book 3…i know, how original) that has also resulted in a sequel series “the royal heir” (TRH for short). what has gotten the community up in chaos is that the writers have changed the first 5 chapters of book 1 of TRR (from most everyone’s knowledge). one problem is that if you replay the book from the beginning, you will not get these updates. if you delete the app, redownload it, and play the book again, you will not get the changes. you must be a new user to the app in order to play the update. for a minute, we all thought that was the least of our worries because what the new updates had were new premium outfits, new outfits for the characters, new diamond scenes, and new dialogue. some premium outfits were flat out deleted and are no longer an option to pick (when you replay a book, things you already spent diamonds on are kept for you to choose again. once unlocked, it’s kept in your “closet” indefinitely). though we all got upset, we thought okay, hoes mad but we tough! if that’s all they changed, then alright…bitter, but alright.

you may think that change can be good…but the main cause for such riot is that they have completely assassinated the characterization of a well beloved love interest and the main love interest of the series: king liam. a man who is the most kindest, compassionate, soft, generous, caring, an absolute sweetheart and gentleman…has been turned into what is essentially a fuckboy. he’s a manipulative, jealous asshole. what adds more fuel to people’s fire is that the other love interest, drake, one who was always described as an aloof, snarky, and slightly bitter man, has now been given a complete 180 of his character. he’s a sweetie, one who is nothing but helpful towards the MC…something that he really isn’t in the originals. more things that started to tumble out is that the new scenes that were written change the canon of the series and the crucial events that happen in later books are being jeopardized because of these changes. there’s whole new artwork as well for these updates and people are question why this company would put forth a lot of resources to change a two year old book that was fine (albeit with some plot holes and a few wrinkles) and not focus on other books that need more attention, books that should be considered for a sequel, and a bunch of other grievances that other more seasoned veterans know best. the problem isn’t so much adding new things into the book (which has been known to happen in other books) but they are changing canon as we know it. they are changing characterizations for some odd and unsettling reason, they are changing how one views the other books, and ultimately…we all feel kind of betrayed. why did they do this? why just new users? why are they making out the most popular LI, the one that PB wanted us to romance, out to be someone he isn’t? what is the point of these changes if it does nothing but regress the book? a lot of people attribute this as the company being cash hungry, one who is a cash cow that see nothing but dollar signs. though this is definitely true, the company has been dodging questions and concerns from fans. they are giving vague answers that don’t give us much.

now….it may look as though we are just crying over spilled milk and for me, i have spent a lot of money on the game, i won’t lie about that…i didn’t really see why so many people were hurt by this but i now understand it. it feels like a personal loss because there was a lot of emotional labor thrown into these books so when there are significant changes, it shakes us all. AJSKDJAL okay this was incredibly long but i hope i got everything down lmaoo

tl;dr: the game choices fucked up by rewriting the first five chapters of one of their most popular books in order to fuckboy-ify one of their most popular love interests who is a complete opposite of what he is being written as. the major rewrites have also caused a lot of concern regarding canon because the new scenes remove a lot of meaning of the choices in later books. if i missed anything, i apologize because i just go down the tag, don’t really read thoroughly, try to internalize it, then regurgitate what i just skimmed through. whew!!

[mikami]

Death Note Audio Drama 07

Disc 7: Double Agents  - a summary / partial translation

Prior translations / an explanation as to what the fuck this is.

Honestly, not much new happens in this part, but there is some funny banter between Matsuda and Ivor (Aiber); and between Light and L.

_______

Ivor calls Shimura under the Coil name. Coil hints that L will soon discover Yotsuba as Kira as a ‘friendly warning’ type of thing. Shimura here is extremely generic and not anxious like normal Shimura at all.

_______

TITLE MUSIC

_______

A Yotsuba meeting. They discuss hiring Misa for image girl.They also brush over Hatori’s death by saying that they assume everyone will send ‘appropriate letters of condolence’ (Shimura asks what is ‘appropriate’ in this case, but is brushed off instantly).

Takahashi seems confused and eventually brings up that he thought at least one person would speak up against the murders. (Someone: “You want to agree with an opinion that nobody actually brought up?”) Takahashi, flustered, changes track to point out that it’s strange that nobody is really talking about Hatori’s death. (Someone: “Mr. Hatori’s death is something we are all painfully aware of. Appropriate letters of condolence, like was said.”)

They then agree that Kira is the one who killed Hatori and then wonder how Kira found out that Hatori wanted out. 

_______

Matsuda wants to arrest all Yotsubas on basis of these tapes, but L points out they don’t know who of them is Kira and Soichiro points out the video is not admissible in court.

Light and Soichiro don’t want to just let the murders happen. Light thus suggests contacting Namikawa to stop them.

______

NAMIKAWA: Knew I’d find you here, Kyousuke. 

HIGUCHI: I’m a refugee. A refugee for nicotine. 

NAMIKAWA: You got fire?

Cigarette lighting noises.

HIGUCHI: Better smoke fast, we’re almost at real estate and finances.

NAMIKAWA: Takahashi finally got his job done?

HIGUCHI: He’s apparently got a few numbers. Both of us can only guess what tethers them to reality.

Phone ringing. Namikawa picks up. It’s Light as L. The deal is pretty much the same as in the manga.

______

Takahashi and Mido supported the delay in killings, as we learn in an L and Watari conversation. L suddenly directs his suspicions to Light again, after Light was the one to find Yotsuba and take initiative here.

Watari accuses L of being envious of Light’s success, but L denies this and names Light a perfect successor candidate.

______

L comes to Misa’s room, Light is already in it with Misa. Light claims he interrupted them getting comfortable as far as possible in HQ. The rest of the conversation is just about L convincing Misa to help the investigation. Highlight is Misa calling Light her ‘cuddlebunny’. 

Though it’s funny because the way the job is described, Misa just sums it up like “So.... I need to let them give me presents. Support my career. Pay me.” :)

________

Higuchi points out that Rem has been uncharacteristically quiet last meeting. They then chat about hiring Misa to find L. Higuchi figures out that Misa was the friend Rem was talking about and that she was Kira II. He then decides to marry Misa.

________

Rehearsals for Misa’s job interview. She’s bad at acting and doesn’t actually want to be an actress, just a star. Ivor and Wendy help her rehearse, especially since Ivor (as ‘John Wallace’) is also going to be one of the interviewers. Wendy and Ivor try to explain to her that she and Ivor are double agents now, leading Misa to point out Namikawa is ALSO a double agent and present. “Will there also be people who aren’t doube agents?” she asks, and in this context, honestly it feels like a legit question.

There’s going to be Ooi, Shimura and Higuchi at the meeting as well though.

________

The actual interview. Wendy and L are listening. Wendy brings up that Misa has to adjust her female charms to the desire of all the older guys specifically, to be what they want, manipulate them. L does not believe in that stuff, Wendy basically verbally eyerolls at him for it.

The interview itself is uninteresting as far as new content is concerned.

________

Wendy is still annoyed at L not understanding women. (L: “Nobody understands women.”) She explains to Light how she taught Misa to manipulate men.

________

Misa throws up from nervousness during the interview break. As she comes back out into the main room of the bathroom, Rem is waiting for her. 

________

The Yotsuba executives like Misa as an idea for an image girl. They also like that Misa can lead them to L. Higuchi mostly wants to fuck her tho.

________

Rem explains the situation to Misa. 

________

MATSUDA: Mr. Wallace. How’s the meeting with Misa Amane going? It wouldn’t have hurt to invite me to it as well. I’m her manager after all.

IVOR (whispering): Don’t talk to me!  You’re gonna blow our cover!

MATSUDA (whispering): I am Misa’s manager and you’re the guy handing her the contract. You can be pretty darn certain I’ll talk to you. 

MATSUDA (loud): Here’s my business card.

IVOR: I don’t want your card. 

MATSUDA (quiet): Oh yes you do, Ivor.

MATSUDA (very loud): Here’s my card, Mr. Wallace. I truly hope we can cooperate towards mutual benefit.

IVOR: Right. Thank you.

MATSUDA: And, what’s the current state of affairs?

IVOR: We’re interviewing your client, Mr. Matsui, and I think her chances are very good. 

MATSUDA: I actually meant the operation.

IVOR: We’ll contact you on the details later.

MATSUDA: Huh. Well, I just asked.

IVOR: Just let me do my job, man.

MATSUDA: I’m the overbearing manager. No reason to get all shirty.

IVOR: Interesting choice of words.

MATSUDA: What’s your problem with my shirt? 

IVOR: You look ridiculous.

MATSUDA: I’m adjusting to the situation. I’m the cocky media guy.

IVOR: It attracts attention. The trick is to not do that.

MATSUDA: Is that what you tried doing when you were convicted of fraud?

IVOR (furious): Do we really need to talk about this now?!

MATSUDA: I’m just saying. Now don’t forget, you’re the cool suave guy from marketing. 

IVOR (still furious): And maybe that guy also has a black belt.

MATSUDA: Oh, piss off.

IVOR: You piss off!

______

Rem continues explaining to Misa.

______

After the interview, Misa makes Matsuda drop her off at the mall (by claiming it’s a ‘woman thing’), instead of going straight back.

______

MISA’S MAILBOX MESSAGE: Hello. This is Misa-Misa. For a fun and sexy message. Here’s the beep. See you!

Misa has 5 new messages. Wendy is leaving a message for her to call. L and Light also left messages. Higuchi messages to agree on a meeting at the mall. Matsuda then calls twice to figure where the fuck Misa went now.

_______

Misa and Higuchi meet up. Misa near-immediately reveals herself as willing to date Kira.

_______

Soichiro informs Matsuda that the specific mall does sell mostly jewelry (he knows because of Sayu), which means Misa lied by implying to shop for period products. Wohoo. L is super frustrated with Misa.

_______

Misa agrees to kill Ginzo Kaneboshi to prove she’s Kira. Higuchi first has to convince her that he’s a bad person (animal testing, illegal human testing) though. Misa doesn’t even pretend to write here, which makes Higuchi wonder if she has a different Kira ability from him. Misa also dictates that Kaneboshi texts Higuchi before dying.

_______

Kaneboshi is in the opera. Rem personally shows up there to force him to write the message?? Though she has written it into the notebook as well, so really, what’s the point??

Either way, he dies as dictated.

_______

Higuchi gets the announced text, still confused Misa hasn’t written anything.

Since he doesn’t have the notebook with him and Misa doesn’t want to come to his house out of reservations that he’s up to something sexual. Thus they settle on him not killing anyone for proof.

_______

Misa shows the task force a recording of this.

_______

Higuchi confronts Rem on how Misa might have figured out he’s Kira / how she killed Kaneboshi without writing. He wants this ability too. (”What else can it be but an ability? She just says it and a madly in love god of death does her a favor??”)

________

Matsuda triumphs that they got Kira now, L points out they only know one Kira and not how he kills.

Meanwhile Wendy has placed bugs all over the building and also into the private homes of the executives. Mido, Namikawa and Higuchi have special security, which is a hindrance in her operations.

Higuchi’s house is too complicated to bug, so instead they bug his six cars.

_________

Door opening.

LIGHT: L?

L: Question: do you remember killing all those people?

LIGHT: Oh, piss off.

Door closing.

LIGHT: Go away! I’ve had enough of your paranoia!

L (muffled through door): Let me in. I’m trying to find something out.

LIGHT: Try starting with the reason nobody likes you.

L: Let me in.

LIGHT: I’m not Kira. You need to stop accusing me every time you don’t know what to do.

L: I need your intellect. You need to answer as if you were Kira.

Light sighs. Door opening.

LIGHT: What would Kira do....

L: Exactly. What would he do?

LIGHT: Alright. Let’s go through it.

L: Can you remember killing these people?

LIGHT: No.

L: Why not?

LIGHT: Because I didn’t do it, idiot. And now get out of here!

L: But... what if it was you after all?

LIGHT: It was not. 

L: Let’s just pretend it was.

They go through the idea of Light forgetting something and why now. They come to believe that Light losing his memory would have been his own decision, in case it happened. They begin thinking of the Kira skill as something like a contract with different packages. Premium (eyes) vs basic.

________

Matsuda watching TV, as L and Light approach him. They suggest the scheme of Matsuda showing up on TV together. Matsuda is creeped out by them being in sync for once. The reason they think Higuchi will recognize Matsuda immediately despite an obscured face is his.... tacky shirt.

________

Namikawa is hosting Shimura and Mido at his home, he invited them. They have a similar meeting to the manga, except in this verse Mido approached Shimura instead of the other way around.

They also assume Higuchi is Kira. Namikawa also confesses that L has contacted him and also suspects Higuchi. They agree to wait it out until L caught Kira and their troubles simply disappear.

_______

Advertisement for the TV show on Sakura TV, highly overproduced with a lot of echo effects.

_______

The task force prepares to start the scheme. It is set up the same way as in the manga.

_______

Namikawa calls Higuchi to watch Sakura TV. Higuchi tries to kill Matsuda with the fake name, then is shocked when it doesn’t work.

_______

Higuchi leaves stressed messages on Misa’s voice mail. They start of simple and friendly and then deteriorate anger and culminate in: “Start running, whore.”

_______

L and Light are amused at Higuchi’s growing despair. Everyone from Yotsuba keeps calling Higuchi about the TV program. In these phone calls Higuchi actually talks about himself with regards to killing but that’s not really addressed, so I cannot tell if it’s a writing mistake or a sign of Higuchi becoming careless.

Higuchi finally resolves to go to the studio in person. Wendy tails him on her bike. 

________

In the car, Higuchi talks to Rem. Higuchi is hell-bent on simply killing Matsuda and everyone in the TV station.