#I would love for you to write more about the research you do
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shannonpurdyjones · 2 days ago
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Short sample clip because Tumblr is being a butt and refusing to upload the full video without crashing (hellsite my beloved and beloathed)
Here's the link if you want to see the full in-hand spinning demo video with captions (you don't have to subscribe or download anything to watch...I mean it's lovely for me if you do subscribe obviously, but don't let Substack bully you. It's a link. You can open it with no strings, no matter what they say lol.)
More about the textile history inspiration behind my historical fantasy novel Wyrd Weaving below the cut!
When I first conceived of the idea that is now becoming Wyrd Weaving, an historical fantasy novel set between Northumbria and Svealand in the tumultuous early 9th century, I only knew two things for certain. I knew I wanted to write a story centering the lives of women, queer people, and gender-nonconforming people in the 800s. So often stories set in the “Viking Age” center only the pursuits of men (wealthy men especially), and I wanted to dig for what other stories were buried there, waiting to be told. I also knew without doubt that fiber arts would somehow comprise a significant portion of the story’s magical realism elements.
I’ve knitted since my late teens, and have harbored and interest in all sorts of fiber arts for even longer than that. When I decided to get serious about writing a story centering the lives of medieval women (in Europe primarily, though several other unique period cultures factor into the story as well), I knew I had to do a deep dive into historical spinning and weaving. Women at all levels of society spent more time on aspects of cloth production than any other chore during this period, yet arts like spinning and weaving are almost never shown in novels, movies, or TV set in the early Middle Ages.
That wasn’t going to fly for Wyrd Weaving, a story inspired by the countless forgotten fiber artists who quite literally wove the history of our society. This first short video about my (mis)adventures in historical textile research gives you a glimpse at how and why I learned in-hand or “twiddle” spinning, the style of spinning prominent in early 9th century northern Europe. Enjoy!
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lottielovelace · 2 days ago
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công chúa
(ghost x könig's-sister!reader)
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summary: You're just a student trying to make through med school with your sanity intact. That last thing you needed was to be kidnapped to serve as a hostage for a half-brother you've never met.
At least the special forces operative here to help is cute.
originally posted on ao3 (wordcount: 3.8k)
Rating: T
Relationships: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader, Kate Laswell x her wife (I call her Jean), König & Reader <- PLATONIC
Ao3 Tags: meet cute! in a prison camp / First Meetings / tries to follow canon characterization / less so canon events/timeline / so some things (like the villains) are VERY vague / Past Suicide Attempt / Undercover Simon "Ghost" Riley / Unmasked Simon "Ghost" Riley / (Temporarily) / reader has a name & backstory but I tried to make it unobtrusive
this is a part of a series
Author's note: I do write this story with a specific OC (check the series masterpost if you want a full breakdown of her) in mind just so characterization is consistent, but I tried to make it possible for you to replace her with whoever you imagine. I do have to explicitly mention details unique to the OC (most obvious example here being her ethnicity), but for the most part I'll try to keep things open ended (ex: using "your hair" instead of "your dark hair").
Also, as I mentioned, the OC's ethnicity (half-Vietnamese) is pretty plot relevant this chapter, but if that disrupts your reading flow, feel free to mentally replace it with whatever makes sense for your own personal read-through. I'm not used to writing in second person, so the verb tenses are kinda screwy.
Also this is in the tags but TW: DISCUSSION OF A PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT (character has for the most part fully recovered)
công chúa:
People could be so fucking stupid sometimes. Bold and stupid. Newbies especially. New recruits—or in this case, new criminal organizations—always think they’ll be special. The exception to the rule.
Take for example, this new group who had the bloody brilliant idea of trying to control special forces (and a handful of top PMCs) by kidnapping anyone ransom-worthy they could get their grubby little hands on. Which meant a lot of missing parents, kid siblings, and SOs.
Ghost couldn’t tell if they actually thought that would work or if this was just some distraction. Perhaps an intimidation ploy or a small part of some greater plan. Either way, in reality, all they ended up with was a whole bunch of pissed-off—and very well trained—soldiers, many of whom were willing to do anything to get their loved ones back. Even allying with their greatest rivals. Ghost didn’t predict to end up working with KorTac of all bedfellows, but even their lads weren’t safe. 
In the past month, he'd had to bear witness to his comrades and competitors getting wrecked, worried sick over their nearest and dearest. Laswell might’ve single-handedly revived the tobacco industry and he’d never seen Johnny so torn up.
Ghost himself had been spared any grief. He would’ve liked to pretend that it was because his mask had protected his identity so well, but the reality was much simpler and bleaker. He had nobody to take. Tommy and Joseph and Beth and Mum were all already six feet under. Nothing would ever change that.
That being said, the mask wasn’t useless.
The hostagers had done extensive research into all their personal lives. They needed to in order to find out who they could kidnap and how. They had become intimately familiar with every combatant their cobbled alliance could send—with one glaring exception.
They certainly knew about Ghost, but not even they knew Ghost’s face—at least according to the dossier smuggled to the Task Force.
After that was discovered, going undercover was less of a choice and more of a duty.
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“Jean?”
The woman’s head jerked up at the whispered sound of her name. Finding no one in front of her, she swiveled. Her eyes landed on an idle balaclava-ed guard.
“Don’t look at me,” the guard commanded. He followed his own advice, keeping his gaze trained on the horizon. His voice was low and rough. Familiar.
Jean Laswell hazarded one last glance at him. She squinted, trying to place where she'd seen him before.
A stifled gasp rang out as her eyes widened in recognition.
“Ghost?”
“Keep your voice down, I’m undercover.”
Jean tried to keep her body language innocuous, eyes now glued to her own clasped hands. The last thing she wanted was to blow Ghost's cover.
“It’s good to see your face— or er, hear your voice.” Pleasantries aside, she went straight to the first question on her mind, the one that had plagued her sleepless nights. “How’s Kate?”
"Smoking like a chimney, but otherwise holding up. She misses you."
"Are you here to…"
"Not yet. KorTac and the team are planning a mutual offensive, but we need more intel before exfil becomes viable. Intel I was tasked with collecting."
His tone didn't reassure her.
"But…"
"I ran into a little roadblock. I was supposed to receive, memorize, and orally deliver crucial information about the compound’s layout and security flaws. We’d had some limited online communication with our informant, but couldn’t get anything sensitive past the security systems. So I volunteered to get it directly. Unfortunately, we didn’t know that our informant only speaks Vietnamese, Cantonese, and some very broken Russian. The dictionary he’d been previously using isn’t complex enough for the level of detail we need. Our shared Russian skills aren’t much better. I can’t leave until I have the intel memorized and I can’t memorize it until we find a translator."
"Could you leave and come back with a translator? A digital one maybe if you can't get anyone else past the guards?"
Ghost shook his head, “They know that we're trying to infiltrate them. They’re very strict about what technology gets in and out. Besides, my cover is only so good. I should be able to get a believable excuse to leave camp, but the scrutiny required for re-entry would compromise it.”
Jean pursed her lips in thought, running over the possibilities. She paused, half thinking out loud.
“I think the princess speaks Vietnamese.”
“Princess?” Ghost’s eyes widened beneath his mask. Shit, no one told him they'd taken someone so high profile. That significantly complicated security procedure. “I thought all their targets were lowkey.”
“No, no, she’s not royalty. She’s a med student. It’s just a nickname,” Jean hastily corrected with an embarrassed laugh. “We have a lot of those here. We get kinda bored.”
Ghost silently thought back on his own POW experiences.
“Things could be a whole lot worse than boredom.”
“The perks of being a hostage," Jean responded dryly. "Need us in one piece.”
“So where’s this ‘princess’ of yours?”
“There,” Jean pointed at the upper level of the compound's eastern turret. “You can see where the nickname comes from. She’s in solitary, but she has a window that we talk to her through during yard time.”
“What'd she do?” Unless the hostage takers were worse than he thought, they wouldn’t put someone in solitary for shits and giggles.
“She’s… a special case."
“Who’s she tied to?”
“That’s the thing. We don’t know. Not even she knows.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I know I’m here because of Kate. Ritchie’s here because of his uncle. Troy because of his brother. Eileen… could be her nephew, but it’s probably Soap. But Elise—that’s her name, Elise Veidt. Do you know any Veidts in Special Forces or KorTac?”
“Not to my knowledge, no. Could it be her boyfriend?”
Jean shook her head, “No. The common theory is an uncle or half sibling. Both her parents were civilians, but her father had family and an ex-wife on the other side of the Atlantic. She has no idea where they are now or if they’re even still alive, but it seems the most likely—if not the only—possibility. Plus she was single when she was discovered.”
Ghost's brow furrowed.
“Discovered? What do you mean by that?”
“There was… an incident. It ended with her being taken into custody.”
Ghost wanted to press for more detail, but Jean flashed him a look that stopped him in his tracks. She was married to Laswell, and that doesn't happen without being able to hold her own in an argument.
“It’s not my story to tell." Her tone was measured, but Ghost could tell this was non-negotiable to her. “She’s a good kid. Just got in a bit of a rough patch. Along the way she had her blood tested and it must’ve pinged… something. Next thing she knows, she’s getting transferred. They refuse to tell her where. When she resists, she gets knocked out and wakes up here.”
“That still doesn’t explain the isolation.”
“We think that whoever she’s related to, it must be someone important. Or someone very dangerous. Someone they’re scared to anger.”
“Then why did they kidnap her if they’re so bloody afraid of pissing the bugger off?”
“Taking her was probably a calculated risk. Returning her damaged a death sentence. They wanted to make sure she doesn’t get hurt, either by her own hand or someone else’s.”
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Ghost cautiously approached the cell door. According to the directory, this was “Detainee #934287: VEIDT, Elisabeth.” He peered through the grate, careful not to get too close to the opening—he knew firsthand how solitary confinement could warp the mind and liked having both his eyes intact.
From what he could see, the cell had a tiny cot, stripped of its sheets on the left. On the right was a wash basin and bucket. In between was a small window—just large enough to stick your face out of. It wasn’t the worst cell Ghost had seen, but it wasn’t homey either. It also appeared to be empty.
“What the—” he muttered under his breath.
The low rumble of his voice almost made you jump from your position, sitting leaned against the door. The window was your only connection to the outside world, but it also made your cell freezing so you tried to stay as far away from it as possible when there was no one outside to talk to. You paused, confused then intrigued. You didn’t think they had a British guard. Slowly, you got up.
He was closer than you assumed. Right up against the door, you almost had to suppress the urge to jump again. You silently mourned the fact that such a pretty pair of eyes were wasted on some terrorist dipshit.
Still, you were bored enough that anything seemed intriguing.
“You’re new.”
“You’re Elise, right?”
Your lips quirked with all the cockiness of someone who knew they couldn’t be touched.
“Shouldn’t they have already debriefed you on that?”
“The only person who’s briefed me on you was Jean.”
Your eyes narrowed. You may have only been able to communicate through a tiny window, but you trusted Jean. You knew her. She wouldn't rat on you, not without a fight.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nothing,” his voice grew even gentler. Soft in a way that commanded you to hang on every word. “I’m here to help.”
Attractive voice and eyelashes aside, you were still unimpressed.
“Really?”
“I'm on a reconnaissance mission for Special Forces. I was supposed to memorize this file. I wasn’t told it was going in Vietnamese.”
You perked up at this. Finally, things were making a little sense.
“I speak Vietnamese.”
“So I’ve heard.”
You took one last look at him, trying to figure out if this was a trick or some sick game. Then again, if it was, what would they even do? Your captors didn’t seem allowed to punish you physically, and mentally there wasn’t much more they could do. Fuck it, you had nothing to lose.
You reached out your hand, “Gimme.”
He slipped you a folded up piece of paper. You unfolded it to reveal an annotated set of blueprints.
“Pen or pencil?” For all you know, he could be picky about that sort of stuff.
The man stood up to dig for something in his vest. You quietly realized that he’d been bending down to look you in the eye. This man, whoever he was, was tall.
He passed you a pen. You noticed that while his hands were gloved, a whisper of a tattoo peeked out as his sleeve rode up. It looked like it could be the bottom of a skull. Or a very small picket fence. Probably the former.
You figured he'd turn away and leave you to your work, but he doesn’t.
“Are you going to…”
“No,” he responded firmly. “If either of us get caught, at least two of us are screwed. I know I can get myself out of it, but our informant can’t. I won’t have his blood on your or my hands. So I’m going to keep watch.”
It’s slightly awkward with him just standing there, but you did your best to lay the blueprint flat against the wall and start scribbling away. Still, you couldn't help but let your eyes flit to him, now with his back to you, standing guard.
“Where are you from?”
“Hmm?”
“Your accent, where’s it from?”
“Shouldn’t you be focusing on your work?”
“I could do this with both hands tied behind my back."
He made a doubtful noise.
You let a cheeky smile grace your lips, “Pen in my mouth, paper on the floor. Handwriting might be chicken scratch, but it’d still be legible.”
If you could see his face, you would’ve noticed his eyebrows raise as he tried to picture it. You on your knees, leaned forward with your ass in the air, hands bound, tongue twisted around the p—
“So, the accent? Where?”
“That’s classified.”
You tilted your head in thought, “It’s Northern, right? British, not Scottish. You don’t sound like Eileen.”
He bristled, quiet in a way that tells you you’re on the money.
“Look, how about this. For every question you answer truthfully, I’ll do the same. I won’t ask you anything I know you can’t tell me, not even your name. I just... wouldn’t mind a little conversation. They’re kinda in short supply here.”
A beat passed.
“Manchester.”
“I knew it!”
He made another noise. You think it was a laugh. You think it sounds beautiful.
“My turn. How do you know Vietnamese?”
“My mother. She immigrated from the South when she was young. Judging from some of his vocabulary, I’d guess your informant is from the North, but the dialects aren’t all that different, especially in script. What food do you miss the most?”
“Anything that isn’t an ORP.”
“An ORP?”
“Operational ration pack.”
If your hands were free, you would’ve crossed them.
“That’s a cop out.”
“Fine,” he relented. “I could go for a Nando’s takeaway.”
“What sort of food is that?”
“Chicken. Flame grilled with this Peri-Peri sauce and—”
He groaned. It’s a noise you want to hear again.
Mimicked him in commiseration. The plates the guards slid through your food slot were pitiful, to say the least.
He starts to ask you something but seems to stop himself.
“What?” you asked.
“It’s… I shouldn’t.”
You were many things, but you weren't a coward.
“I can always choose not to answer. Hit me.”
His voice was still hesitant as he asked, “What did you get arrested for?”
You were worried that the question would be gross or embarrassing, not utterly nonsensical.
“Arrested?”
“Jean said they found you because you were taken into custody.”
“Oh,” your cheeks flushed. “It wasn’t that type of custody. I was 5150-ed. Or more accurately 5250-ed.”
“Pardon?”
“I tried to kill myself. I failed.”
The man froze. He turned around, trying to get a glimpse of you—and any wounds—through the grate.
“Do you need medical attention?”
“No,” you reassured. “I stole some valium and then drank myself silly. I was found in time and they got me help before any irrevocable damage happened. If they hadn’t spotted the note they would’ve just written me off as some foolish party animal, pumped my stomach, and let me be on my merry way.”
You haphazardly glanced at him, expecting him to be stone cold. A proper soldier. To your surprise his eyes, those stupidly beautiful eyes, are trained on you with more care than you've seen in the last three months combined.
“Were you a user… before?”
You shake your head but your eyes remain locked. You couldn't bear to break contact.
“No. Too busy with school. But then my mom died and suddenly everything was… too much. Going to med school and becoming a doctor was what she wanted. The loans, the sleepless nights, the blood, sweat, and tears. It was all for her. Not me. I wanted to make her proud. Happy. And now that will never happen. Without her, I didn’t really see the point of continuing to put myself through hell. I tried to drop out, but the program wouldn’t let me. So I figured might as well cut out all stress in my life instead.”
“Are you planning to try again?”
“No,” the answer is honest. “I’m not giving these bastards the satisfaction. Plus I need to find whoever put me in this situation in the first place and give them a piece of my mind.” You turned back to the blueprints, gently trying to shift the tone back to the comfortable rapport you had earlier. You missed it and you need him to stop looking at you like that or you might do something stupid. “That was like three extra questions. It's my turn now. Any hobbies?”
“Hobbies?”
The very word sounded foreign on his tongue.
“You know. Do you have a secret passion for knitting or something?”
“Embroidery, actually. And that’s no secret.”
“So, anything you do outside of… espionage or whatever your job is?”
“I dunno. Football. Tattoos.”
“Giving or receiving?”
“The latter, though I have been curious to learn it.”
“Got a steady hand?”
He smiled, thinking about something you know he won’t tell you.
“You could say that.”
“Anything else?”
He paused for a moment. You can tell there’s something on his mind. He just hasn’t resolved whether you’re worth it to tell to.
“There’s a bare knuckle boxing club I like to go to when I’m on leave.”
You haven’t seen him in combat, but there’s something in the coiled posture of his stance that tells you he knows how to handle himself.
“I bet you kick their asses."
He says nothing, but you swear he almost preens.
"Could you teach me?"
His lips quirked.
"How serious are you being?"
"Pretty decently. They got me this time. I won't let that happen again. Not without a fight."
"If you're ever in Town, visit Stuart’s and ask for Simon. Might be able to give you a few pointers."
You look up at him, grinning.
"Simon, eh?"
He smiled. His gaze was still intense, but its stifling mixture of pity and worry was replaced by something warmer that made your chest flutter.
"Can't promise I'll be there, but the lady at the desk should be able to tell you when I'll be back."
You folded the blueprints, neatly passing them through the cell bars.
"Well, Simon. Here's your translation. Give them hell."
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Chaos. Complete and other chaos.
Smoke and bombs and bullets. You agonized over whether or not to look out the window. The unknown of what was happening was almost scarier than the reality. In the few furtive glances you spared, you caught the bodies. So many bodies. The only relief was that all of the dead seemed to be guards.
You thought back on Simon, dressed in the guard’s garb. These are probably his people. He must’ve gotten out and they must’ve gotten the intel. By now he’s probably on his next recon mission. You were able to learn a little about military structure from what the other hostages told you about their families. If his specialty was infiltration they probably weren't going to waste him on a direct assault like this.
Manchester. Stuart's. Simon.
You didn't need to see him before then. You just needed him to stay alive, wherever he was.
The cacophony slowly grew closer. You didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.
A loud buzz rang out as the power grid malfunctioned and the hallway outside your cell was plunged into darkness.
Something was happening and all you could do was sit back and listen.
There were screams. Some seemed to be of pure joy, others of painful death. Many you couldn’t tell apart.
There were gunshots. Often followed by gurgles and the sickening sound of someone falling to the ground. There were footsteps. Heavy ones. Slowly drawing nearer.
Someone jostled the cell door. You froze, holding your breath. Maybe they wouldn't even notice you.
The darkness outside your cell moved. A single blue eye peered through the grate, surrounded by black.
"Stay back," the eye commanded. You were all too happy to oblige him.
There was a quick bang and the cell door swung open, revealing a man. A large man.
He bent down to enter the cell before standing up to his full height. Clad in black with a mask you'd expect on a cartoon executioner, he unfolded like an eldritch piece of origami. He just seemed to keep on going.
“Are you Elisabeth?” Hearing it again, you realized his voice was accented. Up close, his demeanor transformed. He seemed... nervous. Incredibly so, barely even able to get the words out.
“Yes,” your voice is almost as hesitant as his.
“I— I am— Ah—” his feet shuffled about anxiously. Any bravado he had from battle has melted away, leaving him almost curled against the wall. You catch sight of a patch on his left side. Red. White. Red. The Austrian flag.
“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” ( Do you speak German? ) you asked. Maybe talking would be easier in his native language.
The man perked up, surprised but excited.
“Ja! Du auch?” ( Yes! Do you? )
You nod, “Mein Vater war Österreicher.” ( My father was Austrian. )
You knew this was a possibility. Even with the covered face and the giant height difference. Still, his next words caught you off guard.
“Ich weiß. Ich bin dein Halbbruder.” ( I know, I’m your half-brother. )
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The tall man, your brother, escorts you out. He promises to tell you everything and more once you’re away from this wretched place wo die Wände haben Ohren ( where the walls have ears ).
After being cooped up for so long, your legs protest the walk, but you pushed through. You were a free woman and you would never take that for granted again.
The exhaustion was worth it to step into the daylight with your own two feet.
Once your eyes adjusted, you realized that two portable camps had been set up on the perimeter. As predicted, there was no sign of Simon. You did see a couple familiar faces though, along with a plethora of heavily-armed strangers (including a man wearing a skeleton mask of all things!). Eileen was deep in conversation with a mohawk-ed man, but she threw you a warm smile as she spotted you heading to the other wolf-emblemed camp.
"Are you alright?" a voice called out at you. It was British: Northern, but rougher and gruffer than Simon's had ever been. Still, you allowed yourself to revel in the fantasy for a moment before you had to face the speaker and ruin the illusion.
You didn't know who you were expecting when you turned around, but it certainly wasn't the skull-masked man.
Up close he was even more striking. You could just barely make out his shaded eyes, alone in a void of black and white. He was shorter than your brother, but still tall by any measure. Even at that size he managed to sneak up on you two.
Your heart was racing. You didn't know why.
"Ye—yes," you managed to stammer out.
Your brother noticed your distress. It seems to give him a confidence to act that he couldn't summon for himself.
He wrapped a protective arm around you and began to lead you away.
“She’s with KorTac,” he said, like that explained everything.
During your confinement, you had plenty of time to think about what you would say to whoever got you into this mess by joining the military. You had dreams of really digging in and tearing them a new one. All of those dreams flew out the window now.
It wasn’t like you couldn’t or were afraid to antagonize someone as big as your brother. But, seeing him… you didn’t want to do that, or anything that could hurt him.
You wanted to talk to him. To get to know him. To—silly as it was—protect him.
After all, he was about the only family you had left.
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ireadwithmyears · 3 days ago
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Hi! Would you be able to write something for the clones (any of them) with a reader who has a guide dog. I've been running into a lot of issues with people trying to distract her and borderline harassing us (the president of my university follows us around with his unleashed dog running up to us, someone grabbed her nose when we were on a bus and then screamed at us, I'm a biology/genetics major so we get some subtle discrimination in academic opportunities like research projects, etc). Also I don't currently live somewhere with public transportation so I have to take Uber to get anywhere which is a whole other nightmare (a driver dropped us off at the wrong location and I was stuck in a sketchy part of town for 45 minutes while drivers kept denying us a ride). Maybe something with how the clones would comfort/handle their SO dealing with these things. Obviously you don't have to write about all of these scenarios, just some ideas
You don't have to of course, but I figured it was worth an ask:)
Looking Out for You:Part 1
Pairing: Commander Fox/fem Reader
Visually impaired reader masterlist
Word count: 4.1 K
Tags/warnings: Visually impaired reader, meet cute, grumpy x sunshine vibes, denial of feelings(Fox falls first, he falls hard, and he denies it every single step of the way because he’s Fox), guide dog cuteness, brief mention of ableism(this chapter is pretty tame, but in future installments, I intend to explore these elements more deeply, specifically as they pertain to service dog users. These topics aren’t always the most comfortable to discuss. But I feel they are important to bring awareness to)
Summary: Making the transition from your small, rural homeworld to Coruscant already promises to be tough. But when you’re employed to work at the Senate buildings directly under senator Organa and you’re also a guide dog user, things quickly become more complicated, in a variety of ways. Luckily, you seem to have caught the eye of a certain Marshal commander, who swears up and down that he’s not falling in love with you, but who, regardless, always has your back, and is always looking out for you.
A.k.a. 
The three times Fox makes sure that you get home safely. Plus the one time he ends up following you inside
Authors note: Hii anon. I was so happy to hear from you and received this request. As a fellow guide dog user, I have so many different experiences that I feel are worth sharing, so that more people are aware of the trials we face because as amazing as it is that we have these incredible animals, it isn’t always just a nice walk in the park. Which leads me to my next point. Because of all of these experiences that I want to highlight, this 1shot quickly evolved into a four part series, to give it the proper breathing room that I feel it deserves. I hope that’s okay, and I hope you still like this one. If you’d like to message me privately so that I can make sure you’re tagged in each subsequent update, please do. I’d be happy to do that
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The first time it happens, Fox is admittedly running on his default, which is to say in plain terms that he is annoyed.
“Why is this my problem?”
Fox winces upon hearing the barely concealed snarl in his own voice through his helmet speakers. He could have phrased that better. He should have at least taken the courtesy to add “with all due respect” when leading into that sentence, even if both he and the trooper who has the misfortune of being at the other end of the line are both fully aware that he doesn’t intend to sound respectful in the slightest.
There’s a pause, a hesitation on the other end of the coms, which causes Fox to silently berate himself for his initial sharp tone. He reminds himself, as he does about 500 times daily, that he needs to be more careful with it.
This warning, for some reason, always falls on deaf ears. But still, Fox wagers that he at least keeps trying, and who knows, maybe one of these days, it’ll actually stick. It probably won’t.
“It’s just that the issue is occurring at the entrance closest to your office, sir,” the trooper begins before rushing to add, “but if you’re busy, we can send—”
“Don’t bother,” Fox sighs. “I’m already on my way there.”
Maybe he shouldn’t be on such a high horse, but really, being sent to investigate a loitering complaint is far above what he, as a marshall commander, should be doing. Despite this though, he privately admits that he’s been looking for an excuse to stand up from his desk chair and stretch his legs. Maybe if he’s lucky, he'll manage to shake off the aching twinge in his left shoulder, hunched from filling out a last-minute stack of crime reports that he had been on the scene of, all from the previous night between the hours of 1 to 3 in the morning. So really, he rationalizes, can anyone blame him for being more than a little bit pissed off at the interruption? 
Maybe it’s a sign that he needs a refill on his caf. 
He rounds the corner and, with what is in hindsight probably more force than is necessary, smacks a hand against an access panel. The door slides open, and a cool breeze hits him as he steps outside into the open air.
His eyes scan through the visor of his helmet, and to his annoyance he doesn’t see the suspected loiterer that he had been warned of, at least not at first. 
Sighing, he steps further out and past the awning above the entrance. Though the air is cool, the sun still shines, and the slight glow causes his eyes to catch on the gloss of your hair as you walk past, eyes nervous as they flick around. Sensing his presence, you pause, shoulders stiffening slightly as you turn to face him with trepidation. Fox also takes notice, his eyes widening in momentary surprise when he observes the guide dog harnessed at your left side, looking up at you with big brown eyes, as if silently trying to understand your sudden hesitance.
You, of course, have every reason to be suspicious of any unannounced or unidentified presence in your vicinity, especially now that you’re living on Coruscant. But, if you’re honest, you’re already on edge, and even though it’s still morning, the day has promised to be shit if the beginning of it is any indication.
Senator Organa isn’t in the habit of firing his junior staff for small mistakes like this, you remind yourself. Still, the thought, no matter how many times you’ve repeated it like a mantra at this point, doesn’t manage to calm your growing nerves, because regardless you’re still lost, and you’re still running late. You silently curse the pitfalls of being blind and using a ride-sharing service, and then you have to restrain yourself from cursing aloud when your eyes land on the silhouette parked a few meters in front of you.
You don’t have much vision. But with what you do have, it’s enough to deduce bright, contrasting colors. And the red splotches against white armor has you stopping dead in your tracks, because within the span of two seconds, a cold clarity settles within your stomach, because the red and white armor is distinctly and unmistakably that of a Coruscant Guard member, the visor of his helmet tilted, looking no doubt with suspicion directly at you.
Resisting the urge to bemoan the shortage of orientation and mobility droids designed to assist with transitions like this—which would have ensured that you would have been able to smoothly get yourself out of this situation in the first place—you bring your guide dog to heel before gesturing for her to sit, then slowly and hesitantly raise your eyes to the trooper, already feeling a mix of anxiety and guilt stirring in the pit of your stomach.
There’s a small sound from his helmet, a hesitation as he seems to clear his throat before speaking. 
“Personal Senatorial aides aren’t permitted to use this entrance,” he says, gesturing to the badge on the lanyard that hangs around your neck. 
He speaks as if this is a reminder that he’s given more than once, which you’re sure he has. Still, there’s an underlying sharpness to it that makes you jump despite your efforts not to react. 
“I, I know,” you say, swallowing before rushing to continue. “I didn’t mean to be dropped off here, sir. I took a Speedershare to get here this morning, and I didn’t realize the driver dropped me off at this entrance until I got out, and by that point it was too late, and I should have asked to verify which one he was going to but—”
“Hey, easy. Slow down.”
The trooper steps closer to you, and it’s only then that you register that you’ve been rambling, your anxiety ratcheting up with each word. Now that you’re silent, you can feel the way your heart is pounding. You’ve seen the Guard around, of course, but you’ve never really interacted with any of them. He’s tall, you realize as he stands in front of you and you look up into the visor of his helmet. Tall and broad, and you were already nervous before he showed up. 
But his hands are raised, in supplication or as an offering of peace, you’re not sure. But regardless, he doesn’t seem on the verge of scolding you further for your silly mistake, which is good, because your nerves are still so frayed from getting out of your ride only to realize that you had no idea where you were, and that apart from knowing that you were somewhere at the Senate building, you were effectively lost and alone. A scolding, delivered with just the right amount of displeasure, would probably be enough to make you start crying, which would make this day go from being the worst to certifiably irredeemable.
“Speedershare isn’t always the most reliable service. Your employer is Senator Organa,” he says, eyes once again scanning over your badge. “I’m sure he could arrange an alternate transportation service that is much more consistent and professional for you to use.”
“I don’t want his charity,” you say, and you can’t help the hard edge that creeps into your voice when you speak.
But really, you don’t. You know that he could, and knowing Senator Organa, he would be happy to do so. But it’s unnecessary. You grew up needing extra accommodations and things that, despite your teachers’ constant stream of reassurances, always made you feel singled out. 
You’re an adult now, and you don’t want that. You don’t need his charity, his pity, or to be added to his ever-growing list of things to worry about at the beginning and end of each day—an item to be checked off. 
As far as you’re concerned, the best thing you can do for the both of you is to keep this to yourself, and you’ll figure out how to manage sooner or later.
Fox takes a step back, able to recognize your quick deflection of his suggestion as a sign that he’s slightly overstepped, and he nods, glancing towards the door.
“Well,” he says, forcing his voice to sound lighter. “I suppose I could let you off the hook this once and let you use this entrance.”
“Thank you,” you say, before hesitantly adding, “I, I’m not familiar with the route to get to Senator Organa’s office from where we are. Would you, I mean, you don’t have to if you’re busy, but—”
“I’ll take you there,” he cuts you off, finality in his voice. “Do you, uh, need a guide or anything?”
Fox internally kicks himself for not knowing how to handle a situation like this, but you give your head a small shake, which allows him a moment of relief. 
“The color on your armor is bright,” you respond, and for the first time in this interaction, you smile. He can’t help but admire the way it seems to transform you, your previous nerves and worry disappearing like the sun breaking through the clouds. It’s quite lovely, he observes, and then internally kicks himself just a bit harder as punishment for that traitorous thought. 
Useless, he scolds. Unnecessary. But it’s already been thought, and he can’t take it back. He’s grateful for the helmet concealing his face, hiding the way his lips repeatedly twitch in an effort to turn upward as he hears you, your voice giving a soft, encouraging command, and the slight pitter patter of paws against pavement as your guide dog leads you to follow after him. 
He firmly resolves not to speak unless necessary until he’s taken you to the senator's office.
This resolve lasts for less than two minutes before he feels the slight brush of a wet nose against his hand and hears a small sniffing sound at his hip. Turning his head, he finds your guide dog, who has stopped walking and is sniffing at a pouch around his waist, and you looking sheepish as you stand behind him.
“Mandalore, leave it,” you scold, your voice lower than he’s heard it and with a suddenly authoritative edge that has his eyes widening slightly. You’re so little, he thinks, and all you’ve ever been whilst interacting with him is timid and quiet like a mouse. Seeing that side of you, as if flipped on by a switch, well...he can’t help but be taken by slight surprise. You pull back the harness, giving it a slight shake and the dog, with obvious reluctance, backs off, abandoning its curiosity.
“I’m sorry,” you say quickly, your cheeks heating with a blush. His hand twitches of its own accord, struck with an unexplained urge to reach out and touch, wondering if he would feel the warmth of your cheek beneath his gloved fingers.
Kriff, his internal monologue groans, disgusted. What the fuck is wrong with you today? He refocuses, looking down at you and shaking his head.
“Your dog’s name is Mandalore?” he asks, genuinely curious and unable to hide the amusement in his voice.
You laugh, nodding your head. “The one and only,” you grin. “Certain training schools do things differently. But the one we went to likes to name each litter by theme, and hers happened to be planets.”
You lower your voice, leaning in conspiratorially with a slight twinkle in your eye. 
“You know, for a Mandalore, she doesn’t look very intimidating, does she?” you ask, and he’s surprised, startled even, to hear the snort of laughter that is pulled from him as he nods his head, looking down at the guide dog who’s unaffected, her professional mask barely concealed behind a tail that wags at him and big, pleading eyes that seem to pierce through his soul.
“No, she really doesn’t,” he agrees, and your grin widens.
“I’ve always joked that if a burglar broke into my house, she wouldn’t bark or growl or try to bite at them,” you say, still smiling as you continue to walk. “She would simply flop down on the ground at their feet and roll over to demand a belly rub.”
“Well…” he says, and faintly, in the back of his head, he registers that he’s 
actually smiling. Huh, he thinks, taken slightly off-guard by the strange feeling. He can’t remember the last time that’s happened. It’s almost slightly disturbing. “If she’s not a fighter, she at least has some good distraction tactics.”
You laugh, your previous nerves surrounding getting lost and being late all but forgotten. It’s a nice sound, bright and lively, and Fox, the Maker help him, finds that he wants to hear it again.
“She probably smells the treats I keep in my pouch for Grizzer,” Fox explains, slightly rueful. He rolls his eyes and pretends to dislike it every time Hound brings the massiff to his office, citing that his panting is distracting, and that his drool gets everywhere, which is disgusting. Those things are both true. But Fox also can’t help but appreciate the warm weight of Grizzer’s head against his leg or the large, imploring eyes the massiff gives him when he knows that Fox has food. 
“I figured it would be unprofessional of me to offer one to her,” he continues, and you nod your head, glancing down.
“It would, but...” you begin slowly, calculating as you clock the staircase you’re approaching and turning your head to look up at him as a slow smile pulls at the corners of your lips. “If you give it to me, I could give it to her by proxy if you want.”
He nods, unzipping the small pouch, guiding you to hold out your hand as he places several small treats on the palm of it, which already has the dog vibrating with eagerness. But you don’t give in right away. 
“Forward,” you say, gesturing your head to the small set of stairs. The added incentive makes the dog quick on her feet, and you have to tell her to slow down as she rushes to comply, guiding you towards the stairs, barely able to contain the excited trot in her step. “Okay, Mandalore, show me where the railing is.”
The guide dog turns slightly, changing course to lead you towards the railing on the far right, placing her front paws up on the stairs and pausing, turning her head to look up at you for approval. 
“Yes,” you beam, stroking a hand along her head. “You learn so fast. Good girl.”
Fox watches, a smile on his face as you hold out your hand with the treats, giving it a few taps against the railing before opening your palm, offering it to her. She eagerly gobbles them up without hesitation, her tail never ceasing its happy little wiggles, which makes Fox want to laugh.
“You know,” he says, stepping up beside you and beginning to mount the stairs. “On second thought, maybe she is a fighter. I mean, she looked like she was ready to take off your fingers along with the treats.”
“When it comes to food, she definitely is,” you say with a grin, following after him. “If only all burglars came covered in peanut butter or dog treats, I’d feel much safer about our odds.”
You both snicker, and the rest of the journey up to the senators’ offices passes in a relatively comfortable silence apart from Fox giving you a few quiet directions as you make your way through the halls. You never fail to turn your head and smile at him each time he warns you of a crowd of people incoming so you can maybe take a step to the side, or if you need to turn left or right at this next intersection.
He isn’t sure how to describe it, but his heart does something strange each time you do. 
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience...” you trail off, uncertain of the trooper’s name as you stand outside the doorway to Senator Organa’s office.
“Fox,” he responds, and he’s quickly struck by the strangeness of how he felt compelled to give you his chosen name first instead of his rank. That, he thinks, is definitely odd and out of the ordinary, but he recovers himself quickly. “Commander Fox,” he adds, and your cheeks rapidly heat with a blush.
“Oh, Force,” you groan, covering your cheeks with your hands and closing your eyes, mortified. “I’m sorry, Commander. I didn’t mean to inconvenience so much of your time.”
“Don’t worry,” he says, and the brush of gloved fingers against your arm is barely there, brief and gone in an instant, but it’s enough to startle you out of your embarrassment, your eyes widening as you look up at him. “It wasn’t an inconvenience,” he says, sounding so sincere that you lose any ability to respond to that, falling into a silence in which the both of you simply stand, contemplating each other.
Fox, for his part, is struck by the realization that, for once, he means every word he’s just said. 
“Well,” you say, blinking as you try to shake yourself out of your stupor. “Regardless of the circumstances, it was lovely to meet you, Commander, and if we ever encounter each other again, you may want to introduce yourself by name if we speak. Every trooper shares the same voice, which makes it much harder for me to differentiate between you all, and I’d hate to mistake you for someone else and embarrass the both of us any further. At least, more than I probably already have.”
“Right,” he says, equally as slowly and strangely hesitant for this conversation to end but not knowing what else to add. “Understood.” 
“I should go,” you say, feeling suddenly shy as you give him a small smile and turn to the door. “See you around, Commander,” you murmur, giving him a playful wink.
You step into the office, not waiting for his response. It takes him a full 30 seconds of just standing there out in the hall listening to the sound of dog paws tapping against the floor, growing distant as you move out of his listening range, to realize that you left him—completely and deliberately if the smirk that was pulling at the corners of your lips was any indication—with a blind joke.
He chokes, uncertain of if he’s allowed to laugh—of if it would be completely inappropriate for him to laugh. His cheeks heat with belated awkward embarrassment. He shakes his head, making a note as he forces his feet to move and forces himself to walk away, heading back in the direction of his office.
The next time he sees you—and he can’t help the strange and foreign hope that twinges in his chest at even the thought of seeing you again—he’ll have to ask you.
Until then, he thinks, giving himself a firm shake as he maneuvers himself through the halls of the Senate building. He resolves to keep you—the girl with the pretty smile, the hair that looks like it was made to run fingers through, and the infectious laugh that he still hears clear as a bell even now that you’re gone—far from his thoughts, ordering himself to stop acting like some sort of lovesick puppy and for kriff sake to just get back to work.
*
Fox, to his consternation, is unsuccessful.
The whole day, as he goes about his tasks—filling out reports, sending requisitions to the Senate, doing patrol—he can’t stop thinking about you. 
Your smile as you tilted your head to look up at him, your warm, encouraging demeanor as you worked with your guide dog, the excitable pup looking up at you like you’re her whole galaxy, the way that he had been able to make you genuinely laugh...
Okay, maybe his bar for sharing friendly interactions with natborns was insanely low up to this point. But knowing that he had brought that out of you had felt strangely good, leaving a warm, unfamiliar feeling in his stomach that lingered every time he thought of it.
He’s so unsuccessful at keeping his mind off of you during the workday that it’s still early in the afternoon when he pulls up your file on the database, scrolls through your work schedule, and at the end of the day is standing outside of Senator Organa’s office waiting for your shift to end.
When he sees you come out, Mandalore, sensing his presence before you do, happily begins to waggle her tail, her footsteps quickening as she leads you out of the office. He calls out to you, and you turn, searching for the voice.
“It’s Fox,” he says, removing his helmet and tucking it beneath his arm. “From this morning.”
Is he imagining it, or do your eyes actually light up when you spot him? 
“I just wanted to make sure that your ride picks you up without complication,” he continues. “Not that I don’t think you can do that on your own,” he rushes to add, his cheeks heating slightly. He’s already gotten the sense that you don’t like being underestimated, and he respects that. “I can make sure that you have detailed instructions in the app so that your driver knows exactly which entrance to collect you.”
“That would actually be super helpful!” you exclaim, and there’s no masking the relief in your voice as you pull out your comm, fiddling with it for a second before passing it to him. “I’ve been meaning to ask someone to update them, because I have a vague idea of what each entrance looks like and how to describe them, but honestly, I don’t think it’s enough to be helpful.”
He takes the device from you, and working quickly, types up detailed directions on how to get to the staff entrance along with a description of its surroundings. He pastes a copy into your notes for good measure so that you’re able to keep reusing it at your convenience. He explains all this to you as he passes it back, letting you know your ride is booked.
“You’re an angel, Fox,” you say in a relieved breath, beaming up at him. “Moving here has been so stressful as it is, and getting used to the transit options is just one more thing on top of that.”
You miss the way his cheeks go pink, but you do catch his quiet, breathy chuckle as he awkwardly avoids your gaze. 
“Right, well,” he scratches at the back of his neck, looking down at the ground. “Your ride should be here soon. Want me to come with you and make sure it shows up?”
“I don’t want to hold you up if you have other things to do,” you say uncertainly, biting your lip.
The truth is, you so badly want to say yes. Waiting for a Speedershare on your own can be anxiety inducing. So many things can go wrong. Your driver might not be able to find you, and when they call and ask you for directions, you aren’t able to provide them with much help. They could drive past and cancel altogether once they realize you have a service dog. Or worse, they can turn it into a full out yelling confrontation. In all cases, you’ve learned, your anxiety is significantly lessened if someone else is with you, ready to back you up at a moment's notice.
It’s true, you’ve only met Fox today. But his presence is steady, safe, and you get the sense that he would stay without question and without hesitation. But you also don’t want to become his burden.
“You’re not,” he states, hooking his helmet to his belt. “And I’m not. Come on, let’s go find your ride.”
And that’s exactly what he does. 
He leads you out towards the pick-up point, and when the speeder gets there, he verifies the plates, opens the door, and helps you inside, waiting patiently for your guide dog to tuck in her tail before beginning to let it close. Before it does though, before it drives away and you’re left wondering if and when you’ll ever see him again, he speaks, his voice low and carrying the softest, lightest undertone of teasing.
“See you around, mesh’la.”
It takes you a moment, but as you drive off, the echo of the words you had jokingly thrown over your shoulder at him just this morning flashes through your memory, and before you know it, you’re tipping your head back against the headrest of the seat, quietly laughing to yourself, uncaring of the driver giving you a funny look from the corner of his eye as he picks up speed, driving away from the Senate building.
You’re still smiling as the speeder rounds the corner, and the building, as well as Marshall Commander Fox, disappears from view.
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If you like and enjoy this story, please consider dropping a reblog, as you might help someone else find something they enjoy just as much. Thank you :-) and thank you to @strangergraphics-archive for such cute puppy dividers
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theweepingangelofcas · 2 days ago
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Spa Day - The Moriarty Brothers
Soooooo funny story, I now work 50 hours a week as both a baker and at a spa so my schedule is PACKED. But I really missed writing. So here I am. Summary: The boys do their best to give you a well deserved spa day (I deserve one too but I don't have time to get one, so let's write about it!)
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William Moriarty
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He probably had to do the least research for it. Though I doubt he goes to spas himself, I imagine he understands the practices pretty well himself. After all, he's read a lot of books. At least one of them has to be on self care, right?
He is a homey type of person at heart. Though visiting new places and meeting new people is just part of the noble lifestyle, he prefers to just stay home and relax.
So, on his day off, you decided to pamper him with a little spa day.
"William?" You called. He had just woken up from a nap a few minutes ago, and you knew he had to be around the kitchen for tea, "Where are you, love?" "'I'm over here, dear." His voice was serene and calm, just how you wanted it to be. The tray in your hands rattled with the glass bottles and oils, giving away your plans. He looked up from his piping kettle of tea, cocking an eyebrow at the elixirs and concoctions in your hands, "What's this?" Your face lit up, "You're getting a facial! You deserve to relax more, Will." He stepped up, observing one of the creams on the tray, "I've never had one before. But, I do trust in your hands." He kissed your forehead, once, twice, three times. His favorite way to kiss you. Soon enough, he was laying on the living room's couch. The lights were dim, only a few candles around you two. Lavender and rosebuds could be smelt throughout the room. With each potion of beauty you layered on his skin, his love for you grew. "Are you having fun, Will?" Your elated voice, sweet like candy floss, was music to his ears. His smile could only grow, "Always, love. Always."
Louis Moriarty
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Let's face it, has this man ever known a day of rest? He'd rather die.
In fact, as much as he appreciates that you booked a couples massage for you both, he's a little annoyed that he won't have a head start on dinner that night because of it.
The spa was beautiful, to say the least. Flower vines clung to pillars near the entrance, so that the spa smelled of jasmine and peonies. The staff were attentive, offering you both wine before settling you into the private room. Louis, despite his confident demeanor, was adorably shy while getting undressed. He flushed at the idea. But something about you excitedly hopping onto the massage table eased his nerves. He watched as you got comfy under the thin, lilac colored sheet, breathing in the scent of flowers around you. His heart calmed, releasing a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. Maybe this would be a lovely day after all. He loved it. The firm but targeted massage eased his sore back in a way he hadn't known possible. Plus, seeing you happy and content? That was worth everything to him. You weren't surprised when he shyly asked to go back there again for his birthday.
Albert Moriarty
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I'm convinced this man has like, a monthly pampering day or something.
Y'know, some wine, a facial, a massage, maybe a nice dinner. A real 'treat yourself' kind of day.
Of course, once you become his darling beloved, he takes you along with him.
At the end of the month, every month, you two have a day out. It's not an average day out, though. It's a day full of relaxation, pampering, and overall, not stressing about absolutely anything. You'd been surprised at first, when he told you about his monthly happiness sesh. But it made sense the more you thought about it. He was a busy man. He deserved to unwind from time to time. A couples facial, couples massage, and then you'd get a manicure and pedicure. Only the best for his dear y/n. Sometimes, when it's been a particularly stressful month, he takes you to a lovely dinner, or even a walk through the nature park you love so much. No matter what you two do together, it can be guaranteed that it'll be the best day you have that month.
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crossbackpoke-check · 8 months ago
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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knifekris · 3 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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szappan · 3 months ago
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im also increasingly sure that im autistic but we'll never ever confirm that </3
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masquerade-v · 11 months ago
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Late night doodle wip of Spatium
I got inspired by some body horror content and I wanted to try a slightly different spin on their alt design. I'll be doing the same with Materia and Tempus. I also want to do horror designs for the yeehaw trio based on these designs correlating to their respective delegators as well!
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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months ago
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I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....
#i wish it was in English#bcs i would be very happy about it#but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing#bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo#how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us#and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills#i shall.. probably just cheat.#LIKE i want to learn german so badly#but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing#why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all#it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic#but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me#again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb#but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content#but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing#like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language#ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest#like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research#<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off#but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB#lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed#and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH#well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it#i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible#but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it#catie.rambling.txt
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 days ago
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post-forced-extension of that assignment i was losing my mind about tuesday/wednesday i experienced a very familiar "ah.... it's as if the deadline no longer exists....." feeling that has now been replaced with "wait i still can't find the resources i need. and i don't know how to organize this. and i don't know what im presenting on (<- super broad topic and i can't fucking find the information i actually need bc our university doesn't?? give us jstor subscriptions or whatever anymore??? so it's all scholarly stuff i can't read or ppl's blogs which im not fucking using for this and half of them just copy entire paragraphs from encyclopedia britannica. who is saving my ass but whatever)" mixed with "I'll figure it out later 🙂‍↕️" IM PRESENTING IT IN 11 HOURS 💀💀💀
#im having a really hard time focusing too. which always happens bc when AM i focusing anymore but like#still. would love to do anything but stare blankly at my screen humming will wood songs for like an hour. if anyone can make that happen#can someone just fucking tell me what the effects of ireland's political Situation in the 20th century meant for its literature#im begging you just tell me because im finding nothing. i have read so much General History but i can't find lit analysis thats not paywalld#and thats what the presentation's supposed to be on. not a bio of wb yeats which is all im getting somehow#why is this so hard why couldnt i have just presented on the byronic hero or something. fuckkkk#at least i have rascal lying behind me in the chair. we are ass to ass sorta in solidarity (he doesnt care)#he has been oddly cuddly the past couple of days which is nice. have i mentioned that? whatever#but like i havent even edited the ppt since wednesday morning. ive jist been doing more research i have to write a script and do visuals#and it has to be under 15 mins even though im talking about ireland starting before the famine AND the literature from that whole period#if i can fucking FIND ANYTHING ON IT GRRRRR and also can someone just tell me when the celtic tiger happened#idk why but im struggling to find super basic facts and i feel like im losing my MIND. why is this so shitty#it's not supposed to be this hard why is everything. soooooo hard for me all the time orz orz orz
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aroaessidhe · 1 year ago
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2023 reads
Saint Juniper’s Folly
YA paranormal mystery
follows a foster kid returning to the small town he grew up in, who runs from the judgemental townspeople and ends up magically trapped in a mysterious house in the woods
a boy who lives a boring life in the town until he finds him, and wants to figure out how to save him
and the young witch from the town over who’s heard the woods calling since her mother died, and wants to help
m/m, friendship & investigating a mystery
#Saint Juniper’s Folly#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is….okay#writing is quite young - it feels like middle grade. would be fine bc i like middle grade but it's a bit at odds with the fact that#they’re 18 and talking about college soon and driving round in cars a lot#There’s very little ghosty or spookiness - it’s more just about the characters and their developing relationships#I felt like there were quite a few pivotal scenes missing? Like it skips from the kid being back in this town for the first time#to suddenly he’s stuck in this house in the woods. We don’t see him go out there; realise he’s stuck; or anything.#(unless libby skipped a chapter in my audiobook again?)#It also felt like it skipped any of them like testing the supernatural stuff? They go straight to researching the house’s history.#Once the end is revealed it makes sense I guess - but it’s like the because the author forgot to make the characters (who Don’t know)#do the first logical things you might do in a situation like that. idk.#the boys hating each other at the start felt manufactured for some hate to love thing instead of for any reason.....I didn't buy it#Also my pet peeve of: having a character call her dad by his first name! …….but it's an indication of their bad relationship. okay then.#(I know that is also a real experience but MAN sometimes people just do that it's not always a sign of emotional neglect!!!!)#Anyway - I didn’t hate it by any means; there’s just a few little things that didn't work for me
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johndonneswife · 7 months ago
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not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth
#anyway i feel strongly compelled to quit my job and dedicate my entire life to speaking out abt eating disorders#& doing research & writing & advocating for people who are suffering#women who are suffering#i think this is honestly my life’s calling!!!! i just don’t know where to start#you know movies glamorize having anorexia & it’s always like: she is the most beautiful girl in the world…but so sad…she doesn’t eat :(#i need to make movies that have scenes like that one chapter of i’m glad my mom died:#where jennette has been throwing up like 15 times a day and her tooth falls out#and she’s literally just like: yeah i’ll deal with that later#& instead of writing about a beautiful skinny white girl who is upset about eating carrots at inpatient#i would just force people to read/watch the things in this thread:#https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/s/H1C3JZyvFK#because that’s the reality#the one comment in that thread ‘i ate something poisonous because i hoped it would make me puke’#like yeah same. LOL. & i always thought i was the only one so fucked in the head#anyway society is very cruel to women and i need to do something about it. genuinely whereeee do i even begin#i guess i have been writing a lot abt my personal experience and all the disgusting things ppl like to avoid talking abt#and how my mother made me this way etc#i could def make a memoir out of it. maybe i’ll do that.#i would love to have more options than just. trauma porn.#ah anyway maybe i’ll open a nonprofit. IDK. i just need to make a lot of noise somehow
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hearts-hunger · 1 year ago
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giggling and blushing over a western romance published in 1916
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thehardkandy · 1 year ago
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talked to my dad on the phone and he's convincing me to get a master's degree so i can get cheaper insurance
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archersartcorner · 2 years ago
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A WIP of a comic thingy I’m workin on cus I’m impatient. Sometimes you have an OC who’s specifically there to be inserted into universes where Your Blorbo Needs A Therapist. Doc Laanka’s got her work cut out for her with these two…
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… kinda.
#my wips#I rly should just be writing fics at this point AHDVSH it’d be easier as far as these conversation heavy scenes go in my head#but also: what if I made my hand hurt by drawing everything individually#laanka again is kinda my universal therapist OC. in whatever universe I put her in she acts as a therapeutic outlet.#in general she’s pretty brain-focused in her studies. she’s usually some kinda neurologist on top of doing psychotherapy.#in ASO her job is primarily psychotherapy but she researches cerebroslugs in her available time. usually oversees individual research teams#she also doesn’t think of them as parasites and is more sympathetic to their existence. a lot of her clients are host&slug who want to-#-explore coexisting together.#which in my head is kinda how Norman and Skip get in contact with her. Norman reads about her and is like ‘oh I’ll shoot her an email’-#-and Skip decides No He Wants To Send The Email so skip just sends laanka an email that just says ‘therapy’. no grammar no punctuation-#-no context. and Norman nearly dies on the spot of embarrassment. Laanka gets back to them within the hour and she’s seen cerebroslug-#-emails before. she knows that’s probably what she’s dealing with. sends back an email like ‘hi anonymous :) yes I do offer therapy.#would you like me to send you some available times I have coming up? would love to know your name as well! - Dr. Laanka Noelle’#Norman decides that he’s gonna send the emails from now on Thank You Skip. Thanks bud HWBDHDH#anyway. I’ll get this done… eventually. I just think my man(s) could use therapy LMAO
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die-with-me-dazai · 2 years ago
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Here’s your daily reminder that sh*tkoku stans don’t see dazai on his own, don’t look at his trauma, his story, his personality, only a good self projection to get with ch**y* and if you call yourself a dazai stan and ship sh*tkoku, then I have some news for you ❤️
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#im ngl i dont completely disagree#from what ive seen the majority of skk shippers ive seen do exactly that#which is why i dont interact much and just rb art i agree with#bc they fucking LOVE to oversimplify the shit out of dazai#and make it seem like hes nothing without chuuya#and vice versa#the problem with this and any fanbase really is the majority always oversimplifies deep complex characters#both dazai and chuuya are amazing characters#but it seems like the majority of this fanbase is just oOoOoO tHeYrE GaEy!! and thats it#honestly yes i do ship skk BUT if they every got romantic in canon and i would hunt asagiri for sport#i could write an entire essay on dazai and chuuyas dynamic and how i ship it/why#bc i dont actually ship them the way the general fanbase does#but its a lot to explain and im pretty sure anon does not want to hear it#and its really hard to find content that portrays that so i just kinda cut my losses suspend my disbelief and enjoy what i get#i may not agree with the majority of this fandom but ill just ignore what i dislike and appreciate what i dont#too much work to gatekeep as much as id love to#ill also say the fanbase seems to completely ignore the characters being based off actual people and actual literary works#and just treat them like wOaH hOt GaY aNiMe BoYs!¡!¡!#which drives me absolutely INSANE#bc theres so much more you can learn about them by actually researching the REAL PEOPLE theyre based off of#and it gives you more insight into their original character vs where asagiri took artistic liberties#and gives you a better idea of who they really are#anyway tldr anon youre not wrong but i doubt youll care if i write everything out for you in detail and i dont want to waste my time#also i didnt want to respond seriously to this in the actual post bc i really dont think you care what i have to say#you see i like dazai and i dont hate chuuya and i like them together in a way that i label skk and you immediately see red#and have no intention of hearing me out#so i might as well make the post itself a meme and respond seriously in the tags
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