#I would give anything for the uncut footage from this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

leverage-ot3 · 4 years ago

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notable moments from The Mile High Job

leverage 1.08

Nate: We need a key card.

Eliot: And I hate to say it, but you know who we could really use --

Nate: Don't even say his name. I don't want it spoken aloud

eliot begrudgingly admitting they could use hardison because although they may bicker all the time, he knows to appreciate him

- - - - -

[Leverage Headquarters]

(Hardison is watching a microwave, which dings)

Hardison: Yeah, buddy!

(he tries to pick up the pizza pocket but it is too hot and he drops it)

Hardison: Damn it!

(he blows on it and picks it up to eat it, then takes a watering can and heads out of the kitchen)

why do we (and parker and eliot) love this fucking idiot so damn much ???

- - - - -

(Hardison walks through the offices watering plants)

he’s such a nester + he’s probably watering parker’s plant too which is adorable

- - - - -

Eliot: All right.

(open the door to the hall to find Parker waiting)

Parker: So, what are we waiting for?

Eliot: How does she do this?

Nate: I don't even ask anymore.

Hardison: Don't bother with the stairs. I got you a ride down.

(elevator dings and they enter)

we love to see parker defying all laws of physics and logic and the team being baffled by it e v e r y time

- - - - -

(Nate, Parker and Eliot run into the lobby, headed for the door)

Nate: No, it’s right behind us, it’s right behind us!

(guards put their hands on their guns)

Parker: It’s furry, it’s big, it’s chasing us, get down now!

(they grab Sophie on the way out the door, leaving the guards confused)

Nate: Come on, we need to get to the airport, now!

that’s actually a really clever way to escape a situation ??? it was very effective to distract the guards ???

- - - - -

Hardison: What I.D.s have you got on you?

[LAX Airport]

Nate: Let's see...

(team begins looking through their pockets)

Nate: We got, Peter Davison, Sylvester McCoy, and I have a Tom Baker. Yeah.

Sophie: Ooh, yeah, I have a Baker. Sarah Jane.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Perfect. I now pronounce you man and wife. (typing on keyboard) Now go on and kiss that bride.

[LAX Airport]

(Sophie hands Nate a ring that he places on her finger)

hardison bases their ids on doctor who characters, what a fucking nerd

also, we gonna talk about how sophie carries a bunch of different wedding rings with her at all times or ???

- - - - -

Sophie: How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?

Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectedly.

Eliot: Or if something happens to the one that they're already wearing.

Sophie: How does "everyone" know that?

Nate: Worked airport security.

Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant

sophie being exhausted + eliot never mentioned the gender of the flight attendant so let my bi heart dream okay

- - - - -

(security guard opens Nate’s luggage to find many BSDM items inside. Nate gives Sophie a look)

Sophie: What? We needed luggage. Lost and found.

Nate: You didn't check the bag first?

Sophie: We were in a bit of a hurry. (to guard) Yeah. Cuffs are his. Whip's mine. (slaps Nate’s butt) Second honeymoon.

Eliot (picking up his bag): Idiots.

me watching this scene: part horrified part secondhand embarrassed

- - - - -

Hardison (on computer): Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. What... Damn. Somebody needs to get laid.

y i k e s

- - - - -

[Coach]

(Parker on P.A. while another stewardess demonstrates)

Parker: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely the impact will kill you.

(Eliot grabs the bridge of his nose while the other passengers get alarmed)

Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits, because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna want to get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over 1,000 degrees. That's hot, folks.

Eliot: All right, Nate. We're here. Now what?

eliot looks exhausted like 300 different times during this episode

+ bless the other flight attendant that just carried on with the crazy white chick being crazy over the speaker

- - - - -

poor eliot with the guy sleeping on him, he’s so exhausted already lmao

- - - - -

Steve: Nothing. It’s just... I could've sworn I saw a maintenance guy get in that elevator.

Hardison: A- A maintenance guy? Wow. Real nice. I bet you think we all look alike.

Steve: That's not what I meant.

Hardison: You know what -- If I have to go to one more of those damn sensitivity seminars, I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: No, no, no.

Hardison: I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: It's not what I meant.

Hardison: I blame you! You! (walks away)

hardison using societal tendencies of racism is iconic every (every) time

- - - - -

(Eliot gets up and begins going through luggage in the overhead racks. One of the passengers watches him suspiciously)

Eliot (to passenger): Can I help you with something? Watch the movie.

what would you even do in this situation ???

- - - - -

Marissa: I know. It's just -- It's like a placebo effect. It's not really working, but it makes you feel better anyway.

Parker: Yeah? So, when's that supposed to kick in? (she moves forward) Look. Flying isn't really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, autoerotic asphyxiation. I mean, the fact is, death haunts us every day. No matter where we are.

(Parker smiles and moves away)

Y I K E S

- - - - -

Hardison: You kidding? Did you get the new expansion pack? Woman, I was up all night. Now, look, I mean “Burning Crusade" was great, but this new one is mind-blowing.

Nate: Hardison…

[First Class]

Nate: …you bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?

[Genogrow Break Room]

(Hardison turns aside and opens a cabinet door to hide his face)

Hardison: First off, "game" is hardly adequate, okay

hardison is DONE with them not taking his “games” seriously ,,, also LMFAO that’s why he was late

- - - - -

Hardison (opens door): The meeting's starting, sir. (closes door)

Haldeman: What meeting? (sighs and puts on his jacket)

that is such an effective tactic tho ???

- - - - -

Parker: Hatbox full of Euros, pouch of uncut diamonds, and a stolen Stradivarius. Now, I’ve never lifted one of those.

Nate: Parker..

let! her! steal! it!

- - - - -

Eliot: Ms. Devins, those payments were not made in error. They were bribes. He was trying to pay off the researchers so they would not testify.

Marissa: What are you talking about? What the hell is going on here?

(Parker sits down next to Marissa)

Parker: The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger ale?

Eliot: Just – sh-she--

that poor lady is NOT having a good time

also eliot looks sO DONE WITH PARKER LMFAO

- - - - -

Eliot: Erlick's a pro. He had a ceramic knife. If anything was going down, he'd sniff 'em out when he saw them coming.

Nate: How would they do it?

Eliot: Easiest way? Take 'em out in transit.

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane they're on?

(everyone looks at her pointedly)

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane we're on?

Nate: Yeah

that’s interesting meta to know but we hate to see it

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, Parker, I -- Parker, I need you – (to Eliot) All right, we got to talk to Erlick now.

[Plane Bathroom]

(Dan is still unconscious on the toilet as Eliot and Nate come in)

Nate: Geez!

Eliot (patting Dan on the face): Hey!

(Dan does not stir, Eliot sighs)

Eliot: When I knock people out, they tend to stay knocked out.

Nate: Hey!

(Nate taps the guy on the face)

Nate: Luggage tags.

(they search Dan’s clothes and take his luggage tags. Eliot grabs the ceramic knife before they leave the bathroom)

eliot doesn’t fuck around lmao

also he did the flippy thing with the knife

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, the device you found -- is it anywhere near an orange box?

Parker: Yeah.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Oh, god. They tapped into the black box.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: No, no, it's not black. It's orange.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Yeah, the black boxes, they're orange.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: Makes them easier to find in the debris.

Parker: Oh. Oh…

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: They've hacked into the flight's computer, which means they have access to the system, which means they can spoof the black-Box data all at the same time.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: Crash the plane without anyone knowing it was sabotaged.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Exactly

that’s terrifying

- - - - -

Nate: Listen to me!

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You can do this! I trust you!

(Hardison looking very unsure of himself)

[Cockpit]

Nate: No matter how many times you goof off or screw up, you always come through in the clutch.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You're the only guy I can count on in a situation like this.

Hardison (cracks his neck): You know what? I-I-you... You're right.

You're right. I got this.

[Cockpit]

Nate: Yes! Yes! Yes, you can!

Hardison: You're right. You're -- I'm the man.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: I'm the man. I got this. I'm gonna do this.

hardison is amazing and they need to appreciate him more

- - - - -

[First Class]

(Nate and Eliot stumble into seats and belt up)

Nate: Sophie?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yes?

[First Class]

Nate: You okay?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yeah. You?

[First Class]

Nate: Ask me again in 10 minutes.

[Coach]

Sophie: You're gonna remember this one, aren't you?

[First Class]

Nate: Oh yeah.

everyone else on the comms: ,,, y’all have to flirt right this second ???

- - - - -

[Haldeman’s Office]

(Hardison watching footage on the Internet of the plane landing)

Announcer (on monitor): …emergency landing on the seven mile bridge…

Hardison: Whoa! (gets up and dances) Baby! Unh! Age of the geek! Smooth! Too smooth! Lord, I was so scared, I wanted to cry, call my mama. Y'all cool? Y’all cool?

Nate: Yes, cool.

Hardison: Family. All right.

hardison is baby + HE CALLED THEM HIS FAMILY !!!

#the mile high job #leverage 1.08 #leverage 1x08 #leverage season 1 #season 1 #notable moments #leverage #mine

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13atoms · 3 years ago

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Deep Focus: Chapter 2 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom is a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off.

But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn.

This chapter: [6.4k] Ao3 link

For the first time in forever, you were at the studio before Tom.

You couldn’t remember a day he’d been later than you, and you finally started to work alone as the clock ticked past midday. As punishment you sat at his desk, booting up your computer where his usually sat and ignoring the quiet fear that something was wrong.

The studio was too quiet. The kettle was cold. There were no props strewn about the place, no piles of scripts left on every free surface. There wasn’t a random actor there to audition, or tape marking out marks for a future shoot. As you stared out of the office doorway, absorbing the clean, lifeless space, you kind of hated it.

The camera was back where it belonged, the corner you’d shot in yesterday was empty. The lights were all packed away and the space seemed huge again. Like it had yesterday. If you closed your eyes, you could still see the cosy bed in that corner, the place on the floor Tom had sat as he watched you, the heavy black lens that couldn’t distract you from his bright eyes watching you.

Had you done something wrong?

You tapped nervously at your keyboard, opening your inbox just for something to do.

And there was that job offer: staring you in the face. You hadn’t replied yet, still undecided. It was a huge pay check. A one-off gig with a studio you knew Tom didn’t really like. They were… cutthroat. Rough. More traditional in their… treatment of their stars. You knew they were professionals, but the content they produced wasn’t exactly morally what Tom approved of.

The film they wanted you for was brutal. It would be safe, but it would be intense. Probably demeaning. Against the principles Tom stood for. You closed the email again.

The two of you had never thought to discuss exclusivity, and you wondered if it was implied in the working relationship you had. If he just… expected it. You needed to bring it up with him soon. You’d been avoiding the email for long enough.

“What else?” you sighed to yourself, half-expecting one of Tom’s usual snarky replies as you talked to yourself.

The office was silent. Your inbox was boring. You only had one more unopened email. As usual, it was from Tom, though one email was better than the usual half-dozen he sent you every night. It was titled: Approval?

That was the usual process, you approved the videos before they went live. But what was he planning on posting? There wasn’t anything for this week.

Unlisted on his site, you immediately recognised the set from today. The timestamp said forty minutes. For a moment you were gobsmacked, wondering how late Tom had worked to have that footage exported and edited already. Wondering why he’d uploaded it already. And how forty minutes had slipped through your fingers, watched silently.

It was a startlingly quick turnaround. He had to have a reason, he usually did. Yet your hand still shook as you hit play.

You winced at hearing your own voice, seeing yourself so out of control like that. But it all looked good. Scrubbing quickly through the timeline, there was one edit you were looking for. One clumsy edit that would look like a jump-cut, and you feared might ruin the film.

You didn’t see it. Instead, the whole video was uncut, even the moment you were sure he would remove. You looked debauched, ruined, hair messy and your body thoroughly overworked. But you could only look at your face. At the vulnerability, as you looked past the camera, staring at Tom.

Why did he leave that in?

In the moment you hadn’t realised how long you were looking at him, searching for what to do next, desperate for something from him. It was no longer your voice coming from the laptop’s tinny speakers, it was a deeper one. A comforting, soft tone.

“You’re doing amazing,” he said, clear as day. And then, “another one?”

You paused the clip, grimacing at the contorted look of desperation on your own static face, and let your face fall into your hands. Tom was never clumsy. He was a perfectionist. He was never in his own films.

So why had he left that in? You’d have to talk to him about it.

Then you’d have to save this copy of the clip.

Fuck.

The door finally opened, the jingle of Tom’s keys announcing him before he arrived. You didn’t bother to hide your screen.

“Morning,” he greeted, cheery as ever.

“Afternoon,” you returned.

That was his usual joke at your expense. Except he was late for once. He gave you a short laugh, so short you barely recognised it.

“Yeah, I know,” he conceded.

You offered an olive branch; neither of you really cared if the other was late.

“Up all-night editing?”

He hummed approval, barely acknowledging your comments. He’d already glanced over your shoulder as he reached for a folder, not acknowledging that you’d stolen his desk, wordlessly settling in opposite you.

Instead his short nails tapped against the folder, his feet settling against the outer side of the desk, as he seemed to look for the words to say to you.

You’d never noticed how much higher his chair was than your usual one, letting you peer down at him a little. You liked it. And wondered if it was intentional.

“I was surprised you got yesterday’s shoot polished off so quick,” you commented.

He had the nerve to look a little embarrassed.

“It was a good one, I, uh, I thought we could post it today.”

You raised an eyebrow, he kept talking.

“It didn’t even really need editing I mean you were… it was amazing. I think it’ll do really well and –”

He trailed off. You took the chance to interrupt him.

“I think you forgot to edit yourself out. Twenty-eight minute mark.”

You expected him to pull the video up. He just sat there, watching his hands as they tapped across that fucking file.

“You can hear your voice, Tom.”

He finally blinked up at you, and you suddenly realised you hated this. This switched power dynamic. You wanted to give him his big serious job back. Be the annoying, less-serious one who relished in kicking at his desk and winding him up.

This wasn’t fun.

“Is that a problem?” he offered, finally.

Your mouth opened in surprise.

“I mean, it’s your choice. You’ve just never done that before.”

“Hm?”

“I mean, your name’s always there but… you’ve never been in the films before.”

“It’s just my voice,” he brushed it off.

But both of you knew that was a lie.

Because that made him your costar. The person you were… performing to. It made him part of the fantasy itself. You closed the video in front of you. You didn’t need to watch any more. Couldn’t watch any more in front of him.

“Well if that’s all good… then yeah. Send it.”

You couldn’t hide the flatness of your voice, and you caught Tom’s concerned glance. You scooped up your computer before he could say something serious.

“I’ll, uh, give you your desk back,” you smiled, standing to swap seats, “your fancy chiropractic chair is hurting my spine.”

He huffed, but stood to swap places with a good-natured smile. You tried to conceal your jolt of surprise as he brushed past a bit too close. You’d opened your laptop back up again, ready to take on some bullshit task, when Tom reached across to gently close the lid.

“I wanted to talk.”

You set the computer aside, lacing your fingers together instead, your throat closing as you wondered what on earth about. Could he fire you? The seriousness on his face was enough to make you worried.

“What about?”

Your words sounded so flimsy, so much hollower than his rich, clean baritone that you wanted to say them again. Without sounding like a coward.

“Just… yesterday.”

You glanced up once to meet his eyes, but you couldn’t take it. Your focused on the shallow marks your nails left against the back of your hand.

“You seemed unhappy,” he continued, “and although the shoot was great, I just wanted to check in. I ask a lot of you, and I just wondered if it was too much.”

You blinked in surprise, and felt that hot shame rising in your chest. You had a horrible feeling you knew why you’d been so strange. And you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m fine. Sorry, it was an off-day.”

“I’m just worried,” Tom placated, but you only heard concern.

“I can do the job,” you told him firmly. You were close to snapping at him, and you hated yourself for the dismay on his face. “I’ll be back to usual by the next shoot. I think everything being so… quiet… freaked me out.”

Tom closed his eyes, sighing heavily. You were surprised to look up and see his head resting on his knuckles, an unusual agitation in the fidgeting of his body language.

The moment passed in silence, and you watched him in concern. Wondering if you ought to be worried too.

“That was unprofessional. Yesterday. I crossed a line.”

He sounded sombre, so sombre it was jarring. You shook your head, surprised by how seriously he was taking this. How much it seemed to really, really nag at him. You wondered if ‘make it real’ was the nicest direction anyone had ever been given in the entire porn industry.

“You were just directing. We saved a lot of money on production,” you offered, “even if the video’s no good, it was free to make.”

He looked at you seriously, piercingly, and you felt pinned to the chair by the way he appeared to look through you.

“It was the best video we’ve ever made.”

You brushed off the comment. He said that all the time.

“I’m sure it’ll do well –”

“No, it… while I was editing, I just kept thinking… It was good.”

You’d seen his crouch yesterday, the speed he’d sent you off to shower. The memory had accompanied you late into the night. He’d definitely liked the shoot.

You wondered if that meant anything. Maybe not.

When you looked across at Tom, he was beet red.

“If you insist,” you shrugged, keen to move on from the moment.

Tom refused.

“That’s why I’m worried. That was your best work but… I feel like you were upset. Freaked out. If I ever cross a boundary like that you need to tell me. I refuse to be some industry creep, if you want someone else there while we film, or –”

“Who would I have, Tom? There’s no one I trust more than you.”

And suddenly his head was in his hands again, a dismayed groan quiet in his throat, and you wondered if he’d lost sleep over yesterday.

You wondered if he’d lost sleep for the same reasons you had.

“Tell me,” he insisted, words firm. “You have to tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable again.”

“I will,” you promised, “but you didn’t make me uncomfortable yesterday. It’s fine, really. I think I was just – ”

Overwhelmed by you.

“Spaced out.”

He didn’t buy it, but the conversation was going nowhere. You stared out the window behind him. There was nothing out there but a car park, but it was better than trying to work out what was happening in the office.

Tom cleared his throat. You tapped your fingers against your laptop.

That email at the top of your inbox was nagging at you.

“Do you think we need a break?” you offered, and Tom’s head shot up, lines appearing between his eyebrows as he searched your expression.

“What do you mean?”

“The studio. We should shut down for a week. I don’t know, pre-record something. You could book a holiday.”

The wry smile on Tom’s lips told you nothing was further from his mind.

“It could be nice,” he conceded, “only if you promise to take a break too.”

Caught.

“I’ve… I’ve been offered another job.”

Tom took his work seriously. It was his passion. He never accepted the industry for what it was – he dedicated every waking hour to making his work the best. It was the reason his kind, overly-sincere, oversized heart beat.

And in the quiet of the office, you could hear his heart breaking.

“Oh.”

“For one shoot! Not – Jesus – not actually another job. Triple Tricks want me to do a shoot. It’ll be like, one day. And I might need some time off afterwards so we could take the week off.”

Tom had blanched at the mention of Triple Tricks. He had winced at the mention of time off. You studied his face, trying to work out which emotion was seizing hold of him now.

It certainly wasn’t joy.

“Tom?”

He stayed quiet. You hated this schtick. He hated the other studio.

“We don’t have an exclusivity clause, do we? I did try and check.”

“What kind of shoot is it?”

He knew. If you needed time off afterwards, he knew. He was making you say it anyway.

“BDSM.”

You’d be bruised. That much was evident. You’d Googled them, heard of them through peers. But fuck the money was good. It would be zero-preparation. The concept was kind of hot, you thought you could sell it. It wasn’t scripted, you just had to… be a body. This wasn’t what Tom made. But you could still be good at it.

“You know I don’t like it,” he sighed, and you shrugged.

“A pay check is a pay check.”

And that was where you and Tom differed. This was more than money to him.

“Sorry,” you added, the word falling flat as you heard it.

“I can’t stop you, and you’re not exclusive to us, I just…”

“Don’t make it weird, Tom.”

“I do all this, we have this amazing shoot day, and you’re planning on working with ‘Tricks?”

He was being stern. You realised it abruptly, realised it from his growl and his carefully controlled volume, and the white of his knuckles as he clasped them together.

“The money is too good,” you retort, trying to match his firmness, and just feeling cold. The words are an apology.

“I’ve offered you more! If you need it, I can lend you – ”

“You don’t need to ‘lend’ me money, Tom! I earn it. Just like you. And now I can earn more. Wouldn’t you do the same? Name one other actress who only works for one studio.”

“I just want you to be safe.”

You frowned.

“Not as your… director. Or business partner. We’re friends, and they’re bastards over there. I just want you safe.”

“They won’t actually hurt me,” you promise, trying to push away the clips you’d seen online. Not really, you reasoned.

Tom’s expression told you he didn’t believe a word of it. And that he wasn’t just worried about physical pain.

“When’s the shoot?”

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

He sighed.

“You wanted to ask me?”

You nodded, and as soon as you saw his face in his hands, you knew your mind was made up. Tom remained quiet, and you wished you could see the inside of his mind.

“If you’re that against it, I won’t do it.”

The expression of relief on his face as so powerful, you weren’t sure you’d ever forget it. He just nodded, offered you a weak smile, and turned to his computer.

You weren’t sure how long you stared at the email you’d written, waiting blankly, as if you could send it telekinetically by staring long enough. It was short, polite, and you really hoped they didn’t test your resolve with a higher counteroffer. But it was done. You couldn’t betray Tom’s morals. Not for less than a very nice car, at least.

Tom had posted the video, you only knew because of your notifications, he’d tagged your work accounts social media accounts in everything to promote it. When you looked up at him, he was waiting to speak to you, hair tousled in the way it was when he absentmindedly tugged at it while he worked.

You could see his apology before you heard it.

“I’m sorry for being harsh. I just – I can’t tell you what to do, but please not them. If it’s another ethical studio you’ve got my blessing, but… not that. I can’t see you like that.”

You knew he couldn’t bear it. You were surprised by the relief you felt, hitting send.

A few minutes later he had made tea, settled in for a day of planning out future videos and not much else. These were your favourite days, just fucking around and dreaming up plots with Tom.

A hand settled on your shoulder as he set your mug in front of you, rubbing a little across the fabric of your shirt. You wanted to lean into his touch.

“You’re getting all of it. The money from that video, I mean. You deserve it.”

You frowned. That wasn’t the deal.

“Halves on everything, remember?”

He didn’t respond, but his hand just stayed there, a comforting weight as he stood over you. You could see his reflection in the window glass, the unusually solemn expression on his face.

“Call it an apology. For you turning down a good pay check.”

You smiled tightly, covering his hand with yours. That seemed to shake him out of his own head, giving your shoulder one last squeeze before he walked away from you.

“You did the edit! It’s your studio,” you protested.

“It’s our studio. And the edit… was a privilege. You made it easy.”

Tom closed the door after he left, busy fussing around with the props cupboard or something. You stared blankly down at your keyboard, wondering what the hell was going on inside his head.

As they days passed the incident was forgotten, as your easy friendship with Tom returned. You didn’t hesitate a moment turning down Triple Tricks’ second higher offer, too busy enjoying yourself with Tom. It was just the two of you, preparing for a shoot the next day, sharing the familiar space of the office.

“You’ve seen it a hundred times before!” you laughed, watching as Tom covered his eyes with his palm, his other arm reached out as if to warn you away. Your shirt was already off, bra following as you worked out how to get into the medieval princess costume Tom had ‘invested’ in.

“Not in our office! The bloody windows are open! Anyone could see!”

“Oh no! My modesty!” you mocked, ignoring him as you tried on the outfit, laughing at the tackiness of it.

It certainly was a ‘princess’ outfit, all gauze and corset – definitely not historically accurate – and you wondered where the hell Tom had bought this. You usually sourced costumes, but he’d been insisting on doing more recently. You tried to just appreciate the reduced workload, and ignore the nagging worry that you knew the reasons behind it.

“Help me with the corset?”

Groaning and dramatically uncovering his eyes, Tom circled around the desk to you, already eagerly kicking your jeans off. You’d been ecstatic when Tom told you it arrived, eager to just play dress-up, before the damn thing got ruined.

His fingers traced the edge of the fabric, making sure everything laid comfortably against your skin, and you impatiently waited for him to tighten the back of the bodice. Pointedly ignoring his soft, warm fingertips as they traced the material.

When he tentatively pulled the laces tighter you were pleasantly surprised with his costume choices. It fit like a glove. Rushing to a mirror, you ignored the rush of fondness you felt for the man as he eagerly followed.

“My tits look great!”

He fidgeted, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, and you tried not to relish in the blush painting his cheeks. He did that a lot recently: blushing. It was delightful, to see it reflected in the mirror.

“I, um, yeah.”

Turning to face him, he finally broke into a laugh, hands finding your elbows in that casual way he liked to touch you.

“What’s the end game here? I get fucked by a bunch of knights?”

He snorted, still fussing with the lacing behind you, and you bit your lip as his fingers tested the give of the fabric to make sure you weren’t being crushed.

“You make it sound so romantic. Haven’t you read the script?”

“Not yet. Sorry, Tommy.”

He tugged on the laces suddenly, making you jerk back an inch, grumbling as he laughed. The tightness of the fabric against your torso when he did that didn’t feel half bad. You filed that away for another day.

“What’s your plot then?” you teased, turning to face him.

You hadn’t realised you were practically in his arms, and you saw his gaze shift down from your face for a second before he spoke.

“A competition? For your hand in marriage?”

He crouched teasingly, lifting your hand, and for a split second you wondered if he was actually planning on kissing your knuckles. Nope.

A glance through the open door reminded you why you were here.

“That’s a common fantasy, right?” he faltered, the teasing edge of his voice dulled just a little with questioning.

“Yeah, yeah. For sure. I’m not sure about in porn though.”

He pursed his lips, thinking, as you finally got the hips of the dress situated and stepped into the studio to find a mirror.

He followed you as you examined how your body looked in the costume, and you caught the quirk of his lip as you spun, not hiding your excitement.

“You haven’t asked me what kind of competition,” he taunted. You took the bait.

“What kind?”

“Who can make you cum first?”

For just a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The outfit took on a whole new meaning as you imagined the shoot, where you would be in twenty-four hours’ time.

“You do know the way to a woman’s heart,” you hummed, not quite realising the implication to your words until you’ve said them. “I mean, what makes them tick. That’s hot.”

He chuckled.

“Glad you approve.”

There was a reupholstered chaise in the studio that he’d bought for the shoot, and you’d been enjoying lounging on it. Tomorrow you wondered if you’ve be enjoying it more, or cursing Tom.

Depended on the guys, you supposed.

“Who’ve you got?”

“Three guys, and a girl. Two of the guys are twins, it’s their whole thing. Seems as bit weird, but whatever.”

You frowned. Was that in the budget?

“That’s expensive, and… I don’t know them?”

He looked away from you in the reflection.

“I put it all on the spreadsheets. I didn’t’ want to bother you – ”

God. If he’d fucked up those cashflow statements, you were going to throttle him. He knew it, too. The corset just made you angrier as it restricted your ability to inhale and shout at him.

“They’re going to be inside me, Tom. I’d prefer if you bothered me.”

He winced, and you immediately regretted being so snappy, seeing the tightening of his broad shoulders as he stood beside you in the mirror.

“I… that’s fair. Sorry,”

You let the argument pass, a silent acceptance of his apology as you fidgeted with the costume again. He was trying. You trusted him.

The two of you definitely needed to talk.

“If I’m gonna be a princess I should have a tiara,” you teased lightly, eager to nitpick anything, just for Tom to be wrong.

Instead he smiled, smarmy bastard, disappearing into his office and returning with a tacky jewellery box.

“Your highness,” he held it out to you, and you rolled your eyes, frustrated by how quickly his stupid antics could win you back.

Flipping open the lid of the box, he revealed a surprisingly nice tiara. Certainly more a bit nicer than the plastic prop jewellery you’d expected, though certainly nothing outrageous. He set it delicately on your hair, wary of damaging it. You laughed at it immediately fell half-way out, sitting crooked an inch above your forehead.

“Absolutely majestic,” Tom teased lightly, but you sensed the underlying tension in his voice. An olive branch.

“Good choice,” you approved, reaching up to properly fix the piece in your hair.

In the mirror, you caught Tom beam.

The shoot ran perfectly. Like clockwork. Everyone was lovely to you, nothing chaffed, and you wondered if Tom’s guilt was the solution to finally having a problem-free shoot day. Well, aside from that other problem-free shoot day. But the two of you didn’t talk about that, even as the video had exploded in popularity. You were enjoying a healthy income stream from it.

You had no doubt this video would do well too. It had been hot, at least from what you’d seen in the monitor. It was more like Tom’s usual productions, full of reshoots and dialogue and an entire storyline which culminated in you reclined on the chaise, corset shoved below your bust and skirts pushed up.

For a whole afternoon you had just followed Tom’s commands on how much you were supposed to be enjoying the various different fingers, cocks and mouths of your costars. It didn’t escape your notice that he hadn’t written you anything remotely difficult for weeks.

“Lay back and look pretty,” he’d winked to you between conversations with the rest of the cast and crew, and you had smirked from your chaise.

Inwardly, you wondered what the hell was going on.

The tiara had pressed against your scalp as you’d been fucked, and the reminder of Tom’s sweetness made it difficult to keep your gaze on your costars. There was a tall figure behind the cameras seemingly begging for your attention. You realised you had forgotten to react for a few seconds, so distracted by your own thoughts, faking a moan as one of the men shoved just a little too deep into you.

“Wait!”

Fuck.

Tom must have seen you wince. The man – Michael, you forced yourself to remember – nodded to you apologetically, stroking more lube onto himself at Tom’s behest. He was the last of the actors to have a turn at pleasing you, and frankly you were exhausted.

“We can redo that with a close up, then we’ll move on,” Tom was declaring, but your mind was elsewhere, your body in that strange state of physical pleasure and emotional detachment. Your mind was elsewhere.

The chill of the room was getting to you, and you caught yourself shivering as the cameras were moved.

“Okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded, blinking in surprise at the feeling of Tom’s hand cupping your jaw, refusing to meet his eyes. He’d see right through you if you made eye contact. Satisfied, he moved on, behind the cameras again barking the politest orders to prepare for a few close up shots.

Oh, god. Time to go again.

Michael muttered an apology as his hands found your bare breast again, pinching at your nipple to make it harden again, and in that moment of tenderness you saw something familiar in his blue eyes.

“You are beautiful, you know.”

If you closed your eyes, that voice could belong to someone else.

You smiled, surprised by a more genuine sense of arousal settling deep in your stomach. As Michael gently probed a couple of fingers inside of you, testing you were wet enough to take him again, you had to bite back a moan.

He noticed. Of course he did. With a near-clinical curiosity he sought out your g-spot, gently pressing against it, and you felt yourself clench at the light chuckle he made.

“This could be fun,” he whispered to you, and you bit your lip, melting ever so slightly more into the chaise as he withdrew his fingers with a final stretch, rubbing a few hard circles on your clit as he left.

When Tom called action, you barely heard. You were too busy thinking about how much you actually wanted what was about to happen next. This wasn’t just fun, or pleasure. You needed it.

All the shot called for was Michael fucking you. He had to be ‘the best’ as Tom’s script had dictated. You weren’t aware he would be quite such a good fit for the role. He teased you with few shallow thrusts before doing what the shot demanded, his thick cock spearing into you in a way that made you gasp for air and clench at the sheer size of him.

He was grunting, saying something which fitted Tom’s storyline, but all you could do was take him. You were focusing on breathing, on reacting, you had no memory of what the script had said. You could barely remember his name. His fingers on your clit were giving you plenty of reason to forget everything, surprisingly dexterous as he fucked into you with the same pace as those tight little circles which were driving you closer and closer to forgetting you were on camera.

“Go on, sweetheart.”

That wasn’t in the script. It wasn’t even for the microphones. As he fucked you into the chaise, one hand bracing and the other working your clit like it was actually part of his job, Michael whispered only to you. And fuck, you could have sworn that ‘sweetheart’ sounded identical to how Tom said it.

You tried. You tried to be professional, to wait for instruction to fake an orgasm, but damn it Michael was good. He was pounding into you and pleasuring your clit and talking like that, and before you knew it he was pausing slammed inside of you so you could moan through an orgasm. With your eyes screwed shut and your senses overwhelmed, you clung to him, desperate for him not to stop with those damn circles on your clit, damn whatever the script called for.

In your most impressive acting to date, you remembered to moan the character’s name as your pussy continued to clench and spasm, Michael pulling out to finish messily on your stomach as you remained in a daze.

When the crew finally called cut you barely had the energy to sit upright.

And through it all, you wondered if Tom liked the shoot.

There was a typical shuffle as the crew packed up, as Tom paid the actors and bid them goodbye, typical chatter and panting and offers of water and showers which everyone declined. It took less than quarter of an hour for everyone to leave, and you barely moved from the chaise. In a robe, clutching an unopened water bottle, you were left in a silent room. The locking of the door, Tom’s footsteps. The dull ache inside you and the numbness that seemed to overcome you during every shoot lately.

Ever since that one damn solo video –

“Can I join you?”

“Of course.”

You moved your robe to let Tom side beside you, wincing for his nice trousers as he sat beside you on the sweat-stained burgundy velvet. You knew you should talk, say something lighthearted, move to face him, something.Your mind felt a million miles away as the cushion beneath you shifted with Tom’s weight, his solid body faintly comforting beside you.

“This needs cleaning,” he mused, no real urgency in his tone.

He was testing the waters.

Reply, you mind screamed. Your face fell to your hands, a deep sigh leaving your lungs. Tom fidgeted, fingers on the velvet between you, not quite ready to reach out.

“Are you okay, love?”

“Tired.”

One strong arm wrapped around you, making your robe shift against your warm skin, and you leant into Tom without a second though.

“What’s wrong?”

His voice dropped to a murmur, and you wanted to cry. And you weren’t sure why. Fuck.

“I’m really not sure,” you admitted, “I don’t know, Tom.”

Your voice caught as you spoke, tears threatening your eyes, and you could practically feel the change in Tom as realised how upset you were. His whole body shifted, pulling you against him, leaning back on the chaise and holding you to his side. You turned your face against the plane of his chest, makeup no-doubt ruining his white shirt, leaning your entire upper body on him.

And to your horror, you realised you were crying.

Tom said nothing. He just held you while you ruined his shirt with slow, quiet tears.

Then it was over. Out of your system. And Tom was still there, warm and strong and underneath you. You cleared your throat, pushing off him until you were just leaning against him, sitting under your own strength.

For the brief second you could looked to his face, you saw open worry on his features. You looked away again quickly, guilt filling you at the distress you were causing him. You wiped at your eyes, embarrassed. It had been minutes, but you had sobbed on him, still reeking of sex, barely covered by a robe. You tried to be subtle as you hid your face from him.

“How is this my life,” you muttered, pleasantly surprised as Tom broke out into a nervous laugh.

He stopped as you glanced at him, but you shot him a smile, careful to try and rebuild your sense of stability as he watched you. And not be an emotional wreck. You winced as you shuffled in your seat, twisting so you could talk.

“Overwhelming?”

You nodded.

“That’s an understatement.”

“You did brilliantly today,” he told you earnestly, “I’m sorry it was such a long shoot. One of those overproduced ones today, you know. Too many moving parts.”

You smiled, trying to conceal your amusement.

“I am well aware.”

“Right.”

You loved the pink dusting his cheeks as he looked down to his lap, a self-depreciating laugh on his lips.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “if it makes you feel any better, I think I’m going to be editing this for the rest of my life. We’ve almost run out of SD cards, there was so much footage.”

You snorted.

“It’ll be, like, three hours editing max.”

“It’ll be forever,” he whined, “I’m going to die editing.”

He was being a drama queen, one hand on his face and the other wrapped around your shoulder as he acted up. Trying to make you laugh. Just the sweetness of the gesture was enough to make you feel better.

“We can do it together, grab some takeaway, make a day of it,” you offered.

Tom looked ready to argue, to give you more time off, but instead his shoulders softened and he nodded.

“That sounds great, love.”

For a second the two of you looked around the studio, the empty space and the dents in the floor which had accumulated over the years, the white walls and the scattered equipment. The strange space which had started to feel like a second home, after all the time you’d spent here together.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His words were quiet, laced with concern that he tried to dress in a light-hearted cadence, lips near the crown of your head as he asked.

“Overwhelmed,” you reassured him, “just tired. I just got a bit emotional. I’ll be fine, though. Just needed a cry, I think.”

“I can understand that.”

You wondered if he could. If he’d let you be there for him, comfort him like he’d comforted you. You hoped he would. The smudge of your makeup on his shirt was barely noticeable, and he batted you away as you tried to rub at it.

“It’ll come out.”

“It won’t,” you promised, and Tom rolled his eyes.

“It can go to the costume department then.”

“’Department’,” you snorted, gesturing to the tiny props room.

Tom’s hand on your shoulder tightened playfully, a more pleasant quiet settling over the two of you this time, both of you lost in thought. He interrupted your daydreaming suddenly, with an awkward clearing of his throat and a roll of his shoulders before he spoke.

“Can you be honest with me? It won’t affect how incredibly highly I think of your skill.”

You knew the question Tom was about to ask, and frankly you were surprised he had brought it up at all. But you sighed, nodded against him. Your pussy still ached.

“Yes?”

“Did Michael make you… orgasm? At the end there?”

You nodded, lips pressed tightly together, and waited for Tom’s reaction. It was understated. He pulled his arm a little tighter around your shoulder.

“Wow.”

His response made you laugh, and he joined you, astounded.

“Good for Michael.”

“I know, right? I hope you paid him a bonus.”

Tom huffed.

“For distracting my lead? I don’t think so.”

“’Distracting?’” you teased, “I think you mean ‘helping’. You know I’m not that good at acting.”

“Nonsense,” he chided.

You shoved your shoulder against his slightly, and he exhaled dramatically in complaint, though you were sure he’d barely felt it. His thumb snaked further across your shoulder, kneading into the tense muscle of your neck. He was being serious again, and you felt yourself stiffening even under the touch of his hand.

“I, um, I owe you an apology. I should have consulted you more on the script. Checked what you were okay with, let you choose actors. And the budget… it’s over. I think it’s worth it but I –”

His hand had stilled on your neck, and you found it hard to distract yourself from the feeling of it against your robe.

“Tom it’s fine. Just… don’t do it again, you know?”

“Of course.”

He really meant it. You loved that about Tom. He always really meant it. That made it more fun to tease him, too.

“Although I do enjoy you going so easy on me recently,” you teased, knee bumping his.

You felt his chuckle as clearly as you heard it, tinged with awkwardness at being caught.

“You’re getting famous these days, can’t have you running off to someone else because I didn’t treat you well enough.”

“Tom…”

“I’m serious!” he protested, and you realised suddenly that he was really worried.

Worried you would leave him. Professionally, of course.

“Besides,” he continued, “why would I make you do anything worse than you have to?”

He wasn’t just talking about the books. Those emails from the BDSM studio had shaken him more than you’d realised. He’d read the second offer, raising his eyebrows at the number after you left your phone flat on the desk, and you wished he hadn’t seen it.

You half expected him to start forcing cash into your hands before you left, he was so desperate to compete. But you didn’t work with him for the money.

“This is my job, Tom. I’ll do whatever I have to.”

He sighed.

“I know, and you’re amazing at it, don’t get me wrong. But you shouldn’t have to do more than you want. Your numbers are great, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep going. We can get more people on board, you can work less – “

You frowned, and he picked up on your worry immediately.

“I’m not firing you! I just think, you’re so good off camera too, and we make so much…”

Fidgeting on the chaise until you could speak face to face, you found his forehead lined with worry, and insecurity painting his face which didn’t suit him in the slightest.

“I’ll tell you if I’m unhappy,” you promised, “but I don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool, I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe you. You didn’t believe you. As his thumb started to smooth across your shoulder soothingly, you tried not to think too much about why.

“I don’t want you being uncomfortable – or worse – when you don’t have to be.”

You cleared your throat, coughing as you swallowed awkwardly, and winced at the immediate distress on Tom’s face.

You knew both of you were reminded of the same moment, of Tom rushing into a shot, of the actor who’d accidentally gone too far, not noticing he was ramming his cock into your throat too hard until you gagged and coughed and coughed. You’d been watery-eyed and coughing an hour later, long after Tom had called the shoot off and wrapped you in a robe, and then into his arms. He’d pulled you close on the couch in his office, muttering apologies into your hair until you hadn’t wanted to hear the word sorry ever again, your voice hoarse as you promised and promised it wasn’t his fault.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but both of you had almost quit that day.

Your throat had hurt for weeks. Tom had been angry for longer, blaming himself as though something a thousand times worse had happened. On the chaise, he was holding you like that again.

Like you needed his comfort. His protection.

You often wondered if it was the other way around. Like he needed to feel like he was protecting you.

“We don’t have to do that anymore,” he soothed, “we can just let you enjoy shoots. I know they’re work but –

One word stuck like shrapnel into your chest.

We.

On the chaise, Tom was reaching for your water bottle, opening it for you and silently imploring you to drink. If only for his sanity.

Between gulps you insisted: “I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe you.

“Go and shower, love. I’ll drive you home.”

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x ofc #13atoms #fic #this tom is such a sweetheart #im writing weird atm but it's all good

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theelliottsmiths · 4 years ago

Note

Can you liveblog the Mein Teil making of? Thank you!!

How many of these were from the same person? It doesn't matter but it is funny

Okay Mein Teil Making of liveblog

Sidenote I once rated all their performances if that interests you

I will try not to mention Zoran

Till looks good with that face distortion somehow

I was obsessed with the story of Armin Meiwes as a young teen. It's fascinating, and so easy to reason yourself into not thinking he really did anything wrong once you learn it was done with consent and the consent was key (when others before Brandes met up with him to mess around and turned him down he didn't push it because the willingness was super important to the whole point etc). I'm not. That's not me saying I approve.

Have you noticed that pretty much all of the stuff people don't like morally about this video (the slapping and blowjob, primarily) don't properly make it into the video? They aren't in it enough for it to actually have been necessary. The slapping is so choppy that there was no reason to actually hit him at all.

"This song is very homoerotic" and then he gets a woman to do the Lustful Acts with Till? Shameful. Cowardice.

Jonas would be Disgusted

The little ja from Till is very cute though.

Also? Porn AU

Till looks so nervous

Zoran please stop stroking her. We know you were excited and couldn't sleep please keep it to yourself.

I can never decide if I like this denim jacket on Richard. It looks silly especially with the collar doing that but it's just so cute

And he's a sweetheart his lisp is so strong here

I'm not even watching the slapping it's so unnecessary and he's crying a tiny bit and Zoran is being so odd about watching it back

Paul seeing his costume and thinking no this isn't good enough and fixing it is such a Paul thing to do. He wasn't wrong.

I hope he bought her some more of the makeup

Something about Richard being picked up and manhandled like a mannequin in a Primark kills me but also... :)

I think I know why he did wrestling as a teen

Genuinely I am not even going after Zoran for the usual stuff I just on an artistic level do not understand why we needed Tills scenes to be this soggy attempt at sex and violence it's genuinely, through no fault of his or her own, the worst segment in the entire video. It just... Abandons the disconnected dissociative feeling of the rest of it and has him doing whatever gets a certain persons rocks off

They should have stuck with the collar and distortion it was... Very nice

I'm not gonna say it but I do not agree morally

Is that a clove

You know, I've always wondered why Richard didn't smoke cloves. He smokes those American spirit yellow ones now For Health (presumably) but cloves do fit the aesthetic he's going for during working hours

He just watched till get and presumably give a blowjob, lit up a cigarette, and is talking in breathy tones you cannot tell me he wasn't getting off on it

"it was very important we were alone for this blowjob that barely even makes it into the video"

Unlike all the other directors the way he goes about his crush is not very good it's quite bad actually

Paul and Oli both having their scenes based in Japanese dance styles is interesting and I do think that was a good move

That one bit of his hair sticking up fuck how does he never escape looking silly?

Don't care for the spit fountain

Why does he say stop complaining in English when the guy was speaking in German does it just have a better vibe?

It's very cute either way I like Richards flirting concentration faces. You can hear him go hhhhh as he looks at the guy just before they turn to compare. And the camp little hands when they turn back also

Paul does some good faces huh

"I didn't have to change my ways, I just did things the way I normally do them"

As in all of their videos, only a few may look good at once. Today is Richard and Schneiders turn, with Till and Flake also looking Pretty Good.

The way Richard is looking at Zoran is so full of what now registers as distaste

Zoran is right here about it being brave for them to have put themselves out there like that and I will allow him some space to be wanky about art because they're the ones doing it. The fact he/it focuses on Schneider in a way that makes me crave an autobiography from schneider/all of them because clearly there's a Something there beyond him just being very androgynous and therefore suited

What he stole from us by giving Till a female angel he made up for with Richard's whole wrestling thing. Entangled. Homoerotic.

Schneider does an incredibly Till face when he's checking the blouse

I'd love to know how consciously connected to this whole thing growing his hair out was

Maybe Richard... Should do more wrestling

Richard and his double kissed but that footage was not left in the final video. Zoran strikes again.

The ja is so cute Why did Richard and Till both do a similar and very cute Ja in this video?

Schneider this entire video:

He's sure he won't be doing much, just be a bit more woman. Given the way Rammstein tends to portray women... Yeah I mean. Yeah.

I would like the full uncut footage of Schneider and Richards parts for uh it's for a project it's super secret you won't have heard if it but I do need that footage.

What happened fifteen years ago, Richard?

Poor baby :(

Zoran still creeping behind the camera

Thighs

Maybe Zoran and I aren't so different unfortunately

I would have loved to see how schneider and the others reacted upon seeing his part

One of them he was tucked so naturally...

How did they act when they saw him on his back legs akimbo I have got to know

He's so bashful

I'm sure they've seen it before

The eye contact.

He is so tickled

Oli is very much acting as if nothing is wrong, maybe to a greater degree than how he is usually

Olis control over his own body really sells his whole performance it almost makes me not detest the toe thing

Paul is complaining and wishing to Influence again and I understand this impulse well

Was Sweden particularly bad for that?

He suits his hair long and down like that

Flakes eye-smile gave it away but everything he says in this is just my favourite

He makes eye contact with the camera just after the dude says chimeras and oh.

I hope he understands that he is incredibly pretty. That's why he's a ballerina I have to assume

"it's rare to dance with as much commitment as I did" I will drop to one knee and hold out a ring do not try me flake

Zoran is doing that thing directors do where he's trying to justify something he chose for purely horny reasons. Ask Jonas about the tongues I'm sure a lot of artistry is involved

I'm being uncharitable it is an overarching theme and I am the one giving the mud fight that significance

But I mean come on now, the mud fighting.

Till is talking so softly is he okay

Is there any better feeling than hearing them talk about how they're getting on better as a group than ever? I think no.

Schneider is me watching the mud fighting

Richard and Tills little bits of fighting you can catch here and there are especially good and I just. Look. Listen. Look and listen. They should wrestle each other for a video for Let's Go. They fight and wrestle and then...

I love this living song metaphorical soup coming from Paul

Richard so gently pinning flake down...........

As a drummer, I simply refused

Insert the quote and out the original Feeling b drummer being incapable of doing anything if it was good

Oli genuinely seemed more comfortable almost naked and covered in make up which actually makes total sense in general and for him huh

The way Till shakes his hair out like a dog kills me it's second nature to him look at him go

I want them to watch the making ofs for Mein Teil and Keine Lust and react to them because a lot of what they're saying is pretty much what they've been saying over the past couple of years about the new album.

Flake is Helping Richard. Flake in

Okay no see so have you watched the video for All the Things She Said/Ya Soshla s Uma by tatu? Or like that fuckinn that one Tom Holland thing where he's in the rain being slutty or whatever?

This isn't wrestling this is wrestling. And very tender.

They're so much more gentle with their wrestling than I feel most people would assume they'd be? Or I just think that because I have siblings and there is no holding back when you first fight those fools.

Puppies!

That kiss sure was awkward huh

Mein Teil is a very good video and making of if you remove Till's main part and Zoran being unnerving.

#hündchen #Rammstein #liveblog #me rambling #complete liveblog

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sincerelymarinette · 4 years ago

Text

A Recorded Life Sequel (1/10) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1183 Chapter Summary: A few months after Hawkmoth's arrest and Fu's decision to make Marinette the new guardian, the crew has a lot going on. Between school, all types of work, and trying to hide from the world the heroes are still around, what could go wrong? At least there's a little break with Marinette's newest video. Author's Note: Hello! Welcome all to the A Recorded Life Mini-Sequel! This is going to be a 10 chapter series. The series will be split into two main parts, the first few being a few months after the end of A Recorded Life, and the second part being a few years down the line. It's gonna be fun and I hope you enjoy!

Next / Masterlist

A Few Months Later

---

Marinette ran as fast as she could down the sidewalk. She ran late leaving a design class, got to the bakery with just enough time to throw her stuff in her room, then grabbed her other bag to get on her way.

She checked her phone every ten seconds to keep an eye on the time, knowing she would be late no matter what. She did consider transforming into Ladybug for the fast commute, but figured it was too busy and bright out, and the world doesn't know they're still around just yet.

Finally, Marinette rushed through the revolving doors to dodge countless people as she ran to the elevator. She pressed the button as fast as she could, as many times as she could, knowing that wouldn't make the elevator come any faster.

Once the elevator door opened, she had to move out of the way for six people to make their (slow) exit. The last person in the elevator laughed at her. "You're late," She said as she exited.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Chloé, I know!" Marinette said as she pushed the button to the top floor.

The elevator couldn't move fast enough up the floors. Luckily, since she was going up, she didn't get stopped on other floors. As soon as she landed on her floor and the doors opened, she ran out, and to the room, she knows too well. Without knocking, she burst in. "I'm here!" She yelled.

"Ah, there she is!" Jagged Stone's voice called from somewhere in the suite. "Called it. Thirteen minutes on the dot," He joked as he rounded the corner with a big smile.

"No need to rub it in!" Alya's voice echoed, a little annoyed.

Marinette groaned. "Were you guys making bets again?" She asked as she and Jagged walked over to the big couch where Alya was setting up the camera.

"They were," Adrien said. "Penny and I know better just to let you get here when you get here," He smirked and stood up to hug his girlfriend. "How was school?"

"Stressful," She nodded. "Lots of work to do this week, but this gives me an excuse to take my mind off it all," Marinette reminded him. "So let's not talk about that now, let's film our video!"

"I think the fans might've caught on to what we're doing," Alya laughed. "The picture with Jagged gave too much away."

Marinette shrugged as she got out her notebooks and extra filming supplies. "Oh well, gives the fans something to look forward to. They need it," She said. "Ever since school started, I've had to slow down making videos, so giving them some hints makes them happy."

The group agreed with her reasoning, and Adrien laughed. "I'm still surprised you're making videos. With your workload, I don't know how you do it," He complimented. "Imagine if we had Hawkmoth to fight, too," He chuckled.

"Good thing we took care of that before we started University," Marinette sighed with big eyes. "I'm ready whenever you guys are," She motioned to the camera.

"Ready back here," Alya said as she monitored the camera and audio.

Jagged smiled wide. "Then let's begin!"

After getting one last confirmation nod from Marinette, Alya counted down to give them their cue. "Hi! I'm Marinette!" Marinette started the video. "It's been a while since we've had a video that wasn't related to fashion and school, but here we are, back with a fan favorite series, Adrien vs. Jobs!" She announced and Alya, Adrien, Jagged, and Penny all clapped as her audience. "Today our special guest is Jagged Stone, kind of obvious since he's right here, but we're all excited!"

"Oh, it's going to be a good one today, rockers," He smiled. "Making a song with Adrien Agreste?"

"Name a better crossover!" Alya shouted from behind the camera. "Truly iconic."

After a short fit of giggles, Marinette grabbed her notebook while Jagged held the guitar. "Adrien, what do you know about music?"

Adrien looked confused and furrowed his eyebrows. "I played piano and I mostly enjoyed it," He said.

"I meant rock music," Jagged explained further.

"Oh, well, not too much. I've listened to you for years and Nino DJs but not much past that," He admitted. "Oh! And for a hot minute I played with Luka and Juleka's band, but that was short-lived."

Jagged nodded. "Right, that's okay," He said. "We'll work on lyrics together and you just tell me if what I play sounds good. Maybe we can add a keyboard backtrack," He said.

Marinette mainly sat to the side observing, but she also took notes of anything that was said that they wanted to remember. The entire session of writing their song only took a few hours, and since Marinette has a big memory card, she was able to record nearly all of it (sure, they stopped recording at times when things got boring).

It was a shorter song, not a whole three minutes, but it still took time to come up with. At first, they started with random words and lines strung together, but as they got a little ways in, it started to sound like something that could have come straight from Adrien. Once they realized that, they dedicated the song to his mom and made it like a gift to her. They tried their hardest to make it an uplifting song, not wanting anything sad, and though it was emotional, they were able to make it have the Jagged Touch of a rock song.

It was almost like a letter to Emilie, but was just vague enough that anyone could relate to it and enjoy the song, but true fans would know the meaning. They were even able to get some keyboard to back up the guitar.

In the end, Marinette had tons of footage she could edit down (and maybe even release uncut one day) to make a special video, with the live performance of the song at the end. The fans would be so excited to see a new video with all of their favorite people in it, not just Marinette making a new outfit; even though they also enjoy that.

"So, Jagged, do you think Adrien could do this job?" Marinette asked at the end of the video.

"Parts of it. Maybe a lyricist," He smiled. "You know what? We should get into the studio and make this an official song and release it for real!" Jagged jumped up. "Not even a question, it has to happen. And we donate the sales to charity," He said.

Adrien jumped up as well. "I'm ready whenever!" He said.

Marinette smiled and shook her head at their excitement, then looked at the camera. "Well, keep an eye out for that! Check in the description for where to buy the song," She said. "And don't forget to check everyone out on social media, also linked in the description. Thank you for watching, and we will see you next time!" She ended the video, knowing everything to come from this was going to be amazing.

Immediately after, Jagged and Adrien got to work on making it an official song. And the fans ate it up.

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries @toodaloo-kangaroo

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adamwatchesmovies · 5 years ago

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The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

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siobhaneardley · 6 years ago

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The Blair Witch Project & Beyond: The Increasing Laziness of Found Footage Films.

The ‘Found Footage’ method of storytelling has been around for a good while now; dating back to, you guessed it the 19th century with novels such as Frankenstein and Dracula (there will come a day when I don’t mention Dracula in an essay on horror, but apparently today is not that day). These novels were often written in a diary format, or composed of letters that have been compiled by the author.

The Blair Witch Project is perhaps the most famous film in the medium, due to its being a cultural phenomenon back in 1999 when it was first released, and it was the first big success of a film of its nature. And is still notirous to this day, having a few of the most famous words in horror history:

Although many may think that it was the first of its kind, the found footage format of filmmaking has its roots in 1980 with the release of “one of the most controversial films ever made”, Ruggero Deodato’s Cannibal Holocaust. The film follows an anthropologist on a rescue mission to find a film crew who venture into the Amazon to film indigenous tribes. Monroe, the anthropologist, finds the footage the dead crew shot, and it is presented as if we are watching it as Monroe is. Now, I will admit by description is rather vague as I did attempt to watch the film, but I honestly couldn’t make it through because there are scenes that are just too graphic for me.

The film has perhaps the most extensive disclaimer I have ever seen:

“The following motion picture contains intense scenes of extreme violence and cruelty. As distributors of this film, we wish to state with absolute sincerity that by no means do we condone the artistic decisions employed by the makers of this film. However, as firm believers in the constitutional right of free speech, we do not believe in censorship.

Therefore, we are presenting Cannibal Holocaust for the very first time in its uncut uncensored original form, with all sequences photographed by the filmmakers however offensive and repugnant, presented fully intact. What you will see will definitely shock and offend you. Nonetheless, it should be viewed as a disturbing historical document of a bygone era of extreme irresponsibility which no longer exists and hopefully with never exist again”

Initially the phrase ‘definitely shock and offend you’ did make me scoff, because I honestly thought that a horror film made in 1980 would be a walk in the park. Boy, was I wrong. Do yourself a favour and just don’t bother watching this film. I can handle pretty much anything, but this film contains scenes of violent rape and murder, and live killing of animals. It is honestly not worth it, as the reast of the film isn’t that great, the acting is pretty terrible.

Anyway, back to it. Cannibal Holocaust was such a controversial release at the time, because of the sheer explicitness of the film, and because everyone thought it was real. So real that the director was arrested on charges of obscenity and then murder, as the director told the actors to go into hiding a year after the film was released to create authenticity, as soon as the actors resurfaced to give testimony, the charges were dropped, but he was still fined for charges of animal cruelty.

Before The Blair Witch Project there were only eight films of its kind made, after it’s release in 1999, there have been around 150, that’s 150 in the space of nearly 20 years. What made The Blair Witch Project so successful that is inspired so many more filmmakers to create similar found footage films?

This notion of the authenticity of found footage films is perhaps its biggest draw and the most masterful example of creating an authentic narrative is The Blair Witch Project. The films genesis lies in 1993 when the directors Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick discovered that some paranormal investigative documentaries were often scarier than fictional horror films, and got to work on the film, initially creating the mythology that would be the basis for the ‘documentary’.

Set in Burkettsville, Maryland, formerly ‘Blair’ the mythology is based on a witch who was murdered by the townspeople, her spirit supposedly continues to haunt the woods surrounding the town, causing the deaths of numerous people from the town.

Heather, Josh and Mike, the three students featured in the film set out to the woods to film a documentary about the Blair Witch, after two days they get lost in the woods leading to them supposedly dying at the hands of the witch, however the ending is left purposefully ambiguous, showing no deaths on screen. However, the events that occur in the last 10 minutes suggest the death of the filmmakers, due to our knowledge of the mythology of the witch.

This mythology is fleshed out even more in the mockumentary that was made by Sánchez and Myrick, and subsequently premiered on the Sci-Fi channel before the film was due to be released. The mockumentary delves deep into the story of the witch, but also contains interviews with the missing student’s family and friends. If this wasn’t enough, there was also a website made providing all these details, with even more pictures of the evidence found with the footage shown in the film, therefore, “The Blair Witch Project does not begin and end with the theatre release; the film is a piece of a broader narrative” (Keller, 72). The website and documentary were so successful that an ex Maryland police officer offered to help in the search for the lost students. Which was only exemplified by the actors being listed as deceased on IMDB.

With the mythology set, the authenticity of the film does not stop there. The shoot in the woods lasted eight days, in which the three actors were pretty much left to their own devices. There was no script written for the film, just a guideline of the basic narrative. Each day the actors would leave the film rolls in a set location found of the GPS by the rest of the crew, and they would be left with food and very small amounts of direction.

Myrick the co-director describes the film as “not like a normal film: the actors would work the cameras, film each other all the time” they only intervened if they felt they needed to tone it down and when they needed to create the nighttime scenes in which they would shake the tent make creepy noises. Keller suggests that “within the semiotics of the film, the same unstrady images that reveal the presence of the camera also suggests ‘reality television’, a genre of film that lacks the polish of cinematic realism, but signifies the authenticity of the events depicted” (74).

The aftermath of all this hard work, left cinema viewers stunned by the film, and had them asking, was it all real? It must be there was so much evidence to suggest so, back in the day, if there were official websites on the internet, then it must be true. However nowadays we have learned our lesson and try not to believe everything we see online.

For me, I watched the film not really believing it was true, but it’s the notion that it might be legitimate that makes the experience so exciting when watching it for the first time. It’s all part of the experience and is a large factor in its success with audiences. Sadly, in 2018, when you do your research, it is very clear it was a fabrication; made all clearer by the sequel Blair Witch released in 2016…but we shall get back to that.

In the (nearly) 20 years since The Blair Witch Project, there have been a plethora of found footage movies, most are horror films, the odd one goes into the realms of science fiction, superhero films and even comedy. Arguably the most famous/successful are films such as Paranormal Activity, [REC] and Cloverfield.

Paranormal Activity kept the tradition of The Blair Witch Project alive by pushing the idea that the footage found features the deceased and could potentially be showing real life events. Cloverfield does suggest this, but the thing that draws the viewer away from the feeling of ‘real life events’ when a giant monster starts crashing through New York, which, we as viewers obviously know did not happen. I am not critiquing Cloverfield at all, as it is simply taking the genre further by exploring different narratives. Paranormal Activity however, I will nitpick (even though I love it).

Paranormal Activity begins like The Blair Witch Project with a disclaimer:

“Paramount pictures would like to thank the families of Micah Sloat and Katie Featherson and the San Diego Police Department”

From the beginning of the film, you expect a Blair Witch Project-esque film, which in some respects, it is, and does it relatively well. However, my issue lies with the lack of effort that is made to make the events seem as ‘real’ as possible. There is little background information relating to apparent events I mean, it would have been cool to list the actors as dead. But I guess the internet must be to blame for this, we are so god at squeezing out information that it would probably seem like a cheap marketing trick to attempt what Blair Witch Project The did.

But, I mean sometimes, they didn’t even try. Like it was common knowledge that there were multiple endings…which makes no sense if it was a ‘found footage’ film. How can they die in two different ways? It immediately takes you out of the ‘real’ world of the film.

Sequels are also a glaringly obvious issue with attempting to carry on the façade. A mere three years after the original film, Paranormal Activity 2 was released. Now, the illusion is broken well and truly, because we then question the chances of someone else connected to filming the events that are linked to the original film; and lemme tell you the far-fetched narratives that are in place so that they can have the excuse of calling it found footage. The first made sense, the second was a bit of a stretch, the third, a little bit more so apart from the fact that they had to change the VHS tapes every, like 8 hours or something silly, the fourth again, is a massive stretch. But, I mean they are still quite scary, one moment in the third one made me well up it creeped me out so much, so I guess they did the job there. I could write so much more about the Paranormal Activity films, that’s for another time, perhaps...

I mentioned the 2016 sequel to The Blair Witch Project, simply entitled Blair Witch earlier. Now, I was legitimately excited for this, I thought, hey, what could go wrong. They could perhaps learn from how great the first film was … but alas, it was not to be. Blair Witch follows Heather’s brother, 20 years after her disappearance. He heads off into the same woods to see if he can find her, because he is convinced that she is still alive in the house. He has a bigger camera crew and has two weirdo locals with him as well.

Now my first big gripe was that the camera continuation was completely off, but I now know that the crew have camera earpieces… which I didn’t even notice, but surely if it was on your ear, like your cheek would get massively in the way.

For me the film failed to capture the sense of desperation that flows through the original. It was down to complete laziness from the directors, to even make it seem the slightest bit authentic. The ear piece cameras and the GoPro are so unbelievably HD and graded, the script is just terrible, the actors are equally bad. You can tell that they had a film crew with them the whole time. Also…they didn’t even bother to shoot it in the same location as the original, it is glaringly obvious that the terrain is in a completely different country.

So we have this:

Versus this:

Another massive break from the original was that they showed the damn witch and added to the narrative of what happens to you when you encounter her. The mystery has totally ruined and feels a lot more fabricated because elements of the supernatural are shown on the footage.

...... ugh.

What annoys me most is that they had so much time to think it through and create something that, wasn’t exactly the same (because that would be pointless), but carried on the legacy rather than being tremendously lazy. I mean, the budget for Blair Witch was $5 million in comparison to the modest $60,000 that the original film had. You can see the budget all over the new film, it just looks far too flashy and is another in a long like of below par found footage movies, I mean, they even had a full on premier with all the actors, there was no effort to even let the audience pretend to believe it was real. And to be honest its link to the original just places the original further into fiction.

Most modern found footage films have gone down the route that Blair Witch did, films like As Above, So Below being one of them, which contains so much supernatural stuff that it is so unbeleivable. The biggest rule in this type of horror, for me is don’t show, dont even tell, just leave it to our imaginations, becuse often that is the scariest thing.

By Siobhan Eardley.

Works Cited:

Deodato, Ruggero. (Dir). Cannibal Holocaust (1980).[YouTube].

Hoad, Phil. “How We Made The Blair Witch Project.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 21 May 2018. Web.

Keller, James. “‘Nothing That Is Not There, and the Nothing That Is’: Language and The Blair Witch Phenomenon.” Studies in Popular Culture, vol. 22, no. 3, Apr. 2000. Web.

Peli, Oren. (Dir). Paranormal Activity (2007).[Netflix].

Rose, Steve. “Cannibal Holocaust: 'Keep Filming! Kill More People!'.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 15 Sept. 2011, www.theguardian.com/film/2011/sep/15/cannibal-holocaust.

Sánchez, Eduardo and Daniel Myrick. (Director). Curse of the Blair Witch (1999). [DVD].

Sánchez, Eduardo and Daniel Myrick. (Dir). The Blair Witch Project (1999). [DVD].

Wingard, Adam. (Dir). Blair Witch (2016) [Netflx].

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drizzitwrites · 6 years ago

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Football RPF Linear Challenge - Day 2: First Conversation

clI technically wrote this yesterday as the end of the bit on first impressions, so today I had intended to write the scene that I envision coming after that one. It wouldn’t be in the same fic, as that fic is intended to follow the Five Times format like I did for “Five Times Christian Eriksen Helped His Teammates With Their Problems”. What I worked on yesterday is the opening scene of part 1 of the sequel to that, which will be called “Five Times Christian Eriksen’s Teammates Helped Him With His Problem(s)” and is basically five vignette sorts of scenes of Christian figuring out and coming to terms with his feelings for his teammate.

I also wanted to tell their getting together story from Vincent’s POV, so some of it was going to parallel what happens in that fic, but looking at the same situations and conversation through Vincent’s lens, as it were. Basically, what I meant to write today was a scene that came after this initial terribly awkward meeting where Jan and Mousa are being trolls and Toby is going along with them (for now) and while Christian was off in the dressing room calming himself down, they invited Vincent to join them (Mousa, Jan, Toby, and Christian) for dinner. Except no one has told Vincent that Christian will be there and Christian doesn’t know they invited Vincent so they get to have SURPRISE! Awkward Conversation 2.0, and that’s what I meant to write today.

Instead, I spent FOUR HOURS writing close to 4000 words of Vincent’s POV of the exact same first meeting and conversation on the training pitch between the two that I wrote yesterday.

It started out well, but I lost steam at the end (because I have been writing for FOUR HOURS), so it probably needs some work and is making leaps in logic that no one can follow but me.

But I did it and here it is from my fingers to your eyeballs uncut and unedited and filled with Vincent waxing poetic and being deep in his feelings, as usual. Also, I went deep into MY OWN FEELINGS about the KNVB and Dutch football. Not sorry.

Truthfully I haven’t even read through it so possibly it makes no sense at all.

Enjoy.

"Dank je, wel--um, I mean...thank you," Vincent said, climbing out of the black cab and stepping onto the curb.

He took a moment to stare around himself at the scene before him--street filled with people talking and laughing together in the evening sun, the hiss of traffic and occasional shout or horn blast from the street behind him. On all sides of him brick and stone buildings boasting columns rose up out of the sidewalk, and he scanned around to look for the right one.

The nearly hour-long ride from his hotel room near the Enfield Training Centre had been slow and traffic-laden, but uneventful beyond that. Vincent, who'd spent the last few years of his life in and around Amsterdam, thought he'd gotten used to heavy traffic--there was a reason everyone in Amsterdam owned a bicycle--but it was only when he'd looked up the route on his phone and saw that the distance from Enfield to here was only half the distance of his daily half hour commute from his apartment on the outskirts of Amsterdam to the training complex in Alkmaar that everything sunk in.

This was London. A single city the size of the entire Randstand in Holland. Buzzing with the energy of over eight million people. A far cry from his childhood in Oss or even his more formative years at the football academy in Rotterdam.

London. Home to English football. Tottenham Hotspur. The beautiful club he'd dreamed of joining for so long, and now here he was, meeting some of the legends of AFC Ajax for "a celebratory dinner and drinks."

He didn't know what he'd been expecting when he rocked up to the much-lauded Enfield Training Centre to make his commitment to Spurs official, but he didn't think it was this. He'd been through this process only twice before in his short career, and of course it was different this time than either of the previous affairs.

At Almere, he'd been reluctant and reserved, knowing he was making the right decision not helping him resent it any less. He'd ended up there after making the most difficult choice of his entire life to that point--admit failure and walk away from the sport he'd loved since the first moment his father had rolled a ball to his feet or graciously accept that things hadn't worked out the way he'd planned and regroup in the lower leagues. He'd chosen the latter, and while it had been the correct choice, and one that had re-kindled a fire in him that he thought had long since died, although at the time it still felt an awful lot like admitting defeat.

Instead, he'd turned up at the club ready to do his time, prove himself, and escape as quickly as possible. He was better than lower-league football. He'd lifted a trophy at Feyenoord and then promptly been told he no longer had a place with the club. He'd been nineteen years old and ready to set the world ablaze, then been forced to drag himself into a club whose existence he'd barely registered and pretend he was honoured to be representing them.

His attitude had changed swiftly, of course, once he'd settled in, and he'd honestly enjoyed his time in Almere and still treasured many of the friends he'd made in those three years. It hadn't been what he'd wanted at the time, but it had turned out to be exactly the opportunity he needed to find his feet, get his head back on straight, and focus on moving forward in an environment where there wasn't such a constant, crushing pressure to give more and push harder and get ahead. Not that they weren't expected to give their best--Vincent could never been accused of not putting one hundred percent into his training every day--but the expectations placed on even the top players at Almere City were nothing compared to those placed on you at a club like Feyenoord.

When AZ had come calling, Vincent's Almere teammates had bid him goodbye with smiles and wishes for the best, and he'd bid them all the same. Almere was never a club anyone planned to stay with for long, so no one had any hard feelings about any of them moving on. Vincent would miss his friends there, but it was time for the next step in his career, the Eredivisie, and he was ready to take the league by storm.

At AZ, everything had been different. The club had sold much of its first team from the previous season and brought in a fleet of new signings, all of them learning to re-adjust to life at their new club together. Everyone had been unsteady and uncertain at first, all of them getting to know their new surroundings, finding housing, and exploring the city together, all of them trying to figure out where they fit in within the city and the culture. Vincent, along with many of the new signings, had settled in Haarlem, and they'd all formed fast friendships as they met up for meals and explored the town.

And now, London. Tottenham Hotspur. Vincent's stomach had been in knots and his heart pounding so hard he thought it might be audible even on the videotapes being recorded of him putting pen to paper. He'd been so nervous in his post-signing interview that his mind had gone blank of all words, Dutch and English alike, and his only memory of the moment was of him saying the words "beautiful club" on repeat for lack of anything else.

A beautiful club in a beautiful city with his beautiful teammates.

That wasn't the reason he'd chosen Spurs, or so he told himself. Sure, it happened to be where a certain ex-Ajax player currently plied his trade, but it wasn't about that. He'd wanted the opportunity to play in one of the best leagues in the world and train at a top-class facility along with top-class players. At Spurs he could learn and improve every day. He'd be pushed harder than he had been in years, maybe harder than ever before, and he was ready for the challenge. Pochettino had spoken with him and convinced him he was just the sort of player Tottenham was looking for, and, coincidentally, Tottenham was just the sort of team Vincent was looking for.

That Christian Eriksen happened to play there was just an added bonus.

It hadn't occurred to Vincent that after signing his contract and giving a few interviews and promotional photos, he'd actually be expected to speak to Christian Eriksen. Intelligently. As a teammate and a peer.

Instead, when he'd stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine and found his eyes automatically drawn to the too familiar twisting, turning run he'd spent far too many nights laying on his bed and watching on repeat, rolling the recorded footage back over and over again and memorising every shape, line, and detail of Christian's lean, beautiful body, he realised he'd possibly made a grievous error in judgement.

He was Christian Eriksen's teammate. Christian Eriksen whose post-match interviews he'd nearly committed to memory. Christian Eriksen who made Vincent's legs weak and his blood rush from his head to his groin with nothing more than the way he moved his body on the pitch. And now Vincent would be here, every day, doing his level best to somehow manage to co-exist on the training pitch with that body live and in-person, darting around defenders to find the best angle and passing the ball to Vincent's feet and...oh, he wasn't ready for this.

But he'd gotten through it, somehow. Had forced himself not to stare at Christian and only Christian, his straw-coloured hair dampened with sweat to a honey brown, clinging to his temples even while the front still stood up in its characteristic quiff. Instead, Vincent had forced his face into what he hoped was a pleasant smile and carefully tried to keep a polite distance, fumbling through his English as he provided the usual platitudes about how glad he was to be joining the club and how much he was looking forward to the coming season. All of it true, of course, but none of it really resonating through the blood pounding in his temples and the voice in his head screaming about how much more striking Christian's wide, almond-shaped eyes were from only a few metres away.

And then...Vincent surrounded by new teammates, all of them shaking his hand and clapping him on the shoulder and welcoming him to London and to Tottenham. The handshake, he'd learned, was one of Pochettino's hard-and-fast rules. Everyone on the team was expected to greet everyone else with a handshake at the start of every day, a way to build camaraderie and fellowship among them all. The names flew at him from all sides, and he'd known many of them already, of course--Michel Vorm, who Vincent already knew from his short time with Oranje over the past few months, Dele Alli and Eric Dier and the famous Harry Kane, revered AZ club legend Mousa Dembele with ex-Ajax phenoms Toby Alderweireld and Jan Vertonghen not far behind. And from there...

“You have to meet Chris,” Jan said, not even bothering to look back as he reached behind himself and tugged another teammate forward to join their group, and oh, god, Vincent was not ready for this.

His heart resumed trying to slam its way out of his ribcage and his vision went a bit black as his legs threatened to stop holding his weight at any moment. Mouth dry, body trembling, and he was more glad than ever that he'd not had time to eat a proper meal yet that day, because he wasn't at all convinced it wouldn't all be threatening to come back up. And wouldn't that make for a fabulous first introduction. "Hello, sorry my first act as your teammate was to vomit all over your boots, it's just that I think I've been a bit in love with you since I was sixteen years old and I'm not at all sure how to process any of this."

Instead, Vincent swallowed down the rising panic coursing through his entire body, hoped the wide smile threatening to take over his entire face didn't make him look like some sort of maniac, and stuck out a hand towards his new teammate.

He must not have looked overly threatening, because Christian--and here Vincent was already thinking of him as Christian in this overly familiar way, as though they were long-time friends or something--flashed him a shy smile in return, and it was all Vincent could do to hold himself together.

Breathe, Vincent. He's your teammate now. This stupid teenage crush was all well and good when you were sneaking about trying to pretend you absolutely detested all things Ajax, but you're not a teenager anymore and those days are over. You'll never make it here if you can't get past whatever this is and start acting like a god damned professional.

That harsh truth was all well and good, but it didn't mean Vincent's palm wasn't sweating and his knees weren't about to spontaneously give out from underneath him at any moment. He'd have to hope Christian either wouldn't notice or would think the slight sheen of sweat and the slick skin of his palm was just due to the heat of the day.

And then Christian's hand slid into Vincent's own, and Vincent's body hummed and buzzed with the feel of it, his mind spinning with all the times he'd imagined this--well, not quite this, so much as something a bit less appropriate for two people stood on a practice pitch surrounded by teammates, but that was perhaps beside the point. The feel of Christian Eriksen's skin against his own. Long, slender fingers brushing against Vincent's palm. Heat seemingly radiating from Christian's hand and spreading up Vincent's arm to his shoulder and eventually into every centimetre of Vincent's body.

“Uh…Christian. Eriksen. Chris. Good to meet you.”

He spoke in English, and it took Vincent a moment to even register the words. Voice so familiar in Vincent's ears, as though they'd shared thousands of conversations throughout the years instead of just a few mumbled words in passing.

Christian stared up at him, blue eyes wide, and from this distance, Vincent could see that they were shot through with flecks of grey and green and gold and so much more dazzling than he'd ever noticed before, and he had to force himself to look away a bit, changing his focus to stare down at their still clasped hands.

And oh, right...handshake. Doe normal, Vinny.

He forced his hand into motion, pumping Christian's arm up and down with perhaps a bit too much vigour, but he figured it was probably better that than standing there holding onto a teammate's hand while staring mesmerised into his eyes.

“I know this," he managed to say after a few seconds of trying to kickstart his brain into remembering how to form words. "That is...you are Christian Eriksen. So of course I know.”

Not his best work, really, but he supposed he should be glad anything came out of his mouth at all besides 'Hello, I think you're absolutely gorgeous. I'm not asking you out or anything, don't worry, it's just that it's something I've been thinking about for years now and I thought I should let you know.'

Still, Christian was looking a bit baffled and slightly overwhelmed at this point, so Vincent took a deep breath and started over. For whatever that was worth.

“Het spijt me," he said, the apology coming out in Dutch on instinct before he remembered that this was England.

"I was...at Almere for a time, " Vincent said by way of some kind of explanation. "I saw you play...with Ajax. You were...I...um...remember you. It is...an honour to meet you. I am looking forward to playing together.”

Not much better, but hopefully he'd saved himself from coming off as some kind of weird stalker and maybe at least earned himself a downgrade to oddly endearing superfan.

Except...he realised at that moment that he was still shaking Christian's hand and had been for a bit too long for it to come off as casual.

He released it, then flashed Christian an apologetic smile and dropped his eyes to the grass in between them, trying to regain some measure of composure--not that he was sure he'd had any in the first place, at least since the start of this conversation. He ended up, instead, staring at the fluorescent yellow and orange of Christian's boots. Which...was better than returning to gaze into his eyes, he supposed.

“I…” Christian said, dragging the word out a bit, as though uncertain of how to follow that up. Vincent didn't blame him. Nothing about this conversation was going the way Vincent had imagined it.

Which...didn't surprise him, really, but still. Every time he'd thought about his first real conversation with Christian, Vincent had remained cool and calm and composed--a bit distant and detached, as though he'd been about to do something else, but might as well blow it off for a brief exchange with someone moderately interesting. He'd been confident and alluring and had ended their brief exchange with the perfect witty send off, and hopefully an exchange of contact information so they could continue the conversation at a later date.

Instead he'd managed to linger too long over a handshake while his palm positively dripped with sweat, stare into his new teammate's eyes for a beat too long, and stumble through a litany of English words that made him sound like a bit of a twat.

Honestly, even though they were teammates now it would be a miracle if Christian ever initiated a conversation with him again.

“That’s...well...thank you?" Christian said, the end bit coming out as more of a question. Probably because he was beyond baffled by this entire situation. Vincent didn't blame him in the least. When he glanced back up at Christian--he might as well start getting used to carrying on what passed for a conversation while looking him in the face if they were going to be teammates--his expression was blank, his head tipped slightly to the side, his blue eyes wide as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

And damn, if Vincent wasn't going to have a hell of a time adjusting to that, he thought, as his blood once again started migrating towards his groin. He was still clad in a simple white t-shirt and jeans that had started out tight and were growing tighter by the second. Thankful, he supposed, that at least he hadn't been expected to change into training gear yet where the slightest sign of arousal would be more than apparent, he shifted his weight slightly in an attempt to at least re-adjust into a more comfortable position.

"Welcome to London," Christian said at last, releasing his bottom lip and quirking his mouth into a strained-looking smile. "And Spurs. Jan and Toby are also from Ajax, so...”

He trailed off, glancing around himself a bit as though seeking out his friends and former teammates. A buffer between himself and this oddly over-eager new teammate.

“Oh, yes, I know this," Vincent said. It almost certainly didn't make him come across as any less of an obsessed fan, but at least maybe he could pretend it extended to the entire club? And oh, Vinny, what would your friends think of you now? 'Yes, of course I love Ajax. What a club. My only regret is that I was never fortunate enough to be chosen as een Godenzoon.' Honestly, it was enough to make him a bit disgusted with himself.

Best change tactics before he got too far down that road to have any hope of getting himself out again. He may have long since lost any loyalty he'd once had to Feyenoord, but he'd rather quit playing football on the spot than proclaim his allegiance to Ajax.

“It will be nice to have friends here who know Amsterdam. I was not raised there, but I enjoyed my time in the city. I am so thankful to come to a club where I can feel like I have a piece of home as it were. You know?”

“Ja,” Christian responded, catching Vincent by surprise as he shifted their conversation into Dutch.

Not that Vincent wasn't well aware of Christian's proficiency with the language. He spoke it nearly as well as Vincent, judging from the promotional videos and post-match interviews he'd done during his time in Amsterdam.

“Let me know if I can help with anything,” Christian continued, his face and tone pleasantly neutral--one teammate welcoming another to a new city. “Where to eat, shopping--although that’s not really my thing, but I can try--if you want to know the best neighbourhoods for your house or anything. I mean, it’s not like I get out much, but I’ll do what I can.”

He'd always loved listening to Christian's Dutch--soft and silken and fluid, with the slightest hint of a slur around the edges of the syllables. It was no different now, although his accent had shifted a bit during his time in London. Still, Vincent was captivated by it, and found himself staring at Christian's lips as he spoke, much the way he'd always done when watching Christian's interviews on the screen.

“Your Dutch is good.”

And, honestly, Vinny? A mere, 'thank you for the offer, I will let you know' would have been fine. You were both finally starting to settle in a little bit and you had to go and make it uncomfortable again.

Thankfully, this actually earned him a surprised "oh" and a small smile from Christian whose eyes flicked up to meet Vincent's once more before quickly darting away once more.

“Thank you. I feel it’s important to learn the language wherever you’re playing, so I worked on it a lot before I moved to Amsterdam. These three still correct me all the time, though.”

He tipped his head towards the trio standing behind him--Mousa, Jan, and Toby all of whom, by report, were seemingly inseparable both on and off the pitch.

“Because your pronunciation is terrible,” Toby teased and the others all laughed.

Christian opened his mouth to respond, but slammed it shut as Vincent dropped a hand to his shoulder. He hadn't meant to reach out for him like that, it had just sort of happened, his body moving on instinct, sliding into the sudden lighthearted ease of banter and teasing of the conversation. It was an overly forward gesture, considering they'd only been speaking for a few moments, and Vincent readied himself to yank his hand away and offer profuse apologies as he felt Christian's breath hitch in surprise and his body tense. But Christian didn't pull away, so Vincent let his hand remain.

“Never listen to Belgians on the right way to pronounce Dutch,” Vincent told him, “I think your pronunciation is just fine.”

And, Godverdamme he definitely hadn't meant to sound that flirtatious. Once again, instinct had taken over and it had slipped out, his tone teasing and flitting and light and definitely not the right way to speak with anyone you were just meeting unless you planned on trying to take them home at the end of the night. Here Vincent was, trying it on with a teammate, no less.

He felt the hot flush creep into his cheeks at the thought, letting his hand drop from Christian's shoulder.

Christian's eyes widened even further before he ducked his head and stepped away from Vincent and towards the safety net of his friends.

He flicked a desperate glance to the side, swiveling his head slightly until his eyes fell on yet another teammate--this one with dark hair and a pale, squareish face. He reached out a hand towards the man and tugged him closer, much the way Jan had done to him what felt to Vincent like hours earlier, but in reality couldn't have been more than a few minutes.

The other man, for his part, let out a startled yelp and a shout of "oy, what the--?" but Christian seemed to pay him no mind. He all but shoved the man towards Vincent, all the while angling around to put the other man squarely between himself and Vincent.

“I...thanks," Christian said, his eyes still wide and his shoulders hunched in. "Um. Have you met Ben? You two should meet. I...I have to go, I’m sure I’ll see you at training this afternoon.”

With that, he'd flashed Vincent an awkward sort of half wave and then nearly tripped over his feet as he turned to jog quickly away towards the training centre, leaving Vincent, the three Belgians, and this new man--Ben, Vincent guessed--staring at one another in confusion.

No one said anything for a few moments until Ben flashed Vincent a dazzling grin full of perfectly straight, white teeth, stuck out a hand, and said in lilting English, "Well, that was something. Ben Davies, nice to meet you."

#football challenge #football rpf #writing #30 day writing challenge #writing challenge #christian eriksen x vincent janssen #wip #unedited #thoughts on writing and life #drizzit writes

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thesinglesjukebox · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

PUSHA T - IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW [7.25] We know...

Thomas Inskeep: Daytona is one of the year's tightest albums: Kanye producing like it's 2005 again -- hard beats and tough samples -- and Pusha T not wasting a single word. He's always been a great rapper but rarely has he been this concise in his coke raps par excellence -- and opening track "If You Know You Know" sets that mood perfectly. (And how about that Air sample?!) As an old school hip-hop head, this hits every goddamn one of my pleasure centers. [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: There's a precision here, especially in the first verse's endless variations on "boy," that would read as too sterile in the hands of nearly any other rapper. But Pusha T has always turned technical perfection into something more than the words he sneers out: a protective armor of cool reserve. It's that reserve that explains his longevity, especially compared to the other rappers of his generation that are still hanging around -- Nas and Jay-Z, even when accompanied by younger collaborators sound tired, and even Pharrell has been growing increasingly threadbare in his old age. Unlike the rest, it's clear that Pusha T is rapping only for himself, and not for any mass appeal. He uses the language of fraternity, of splitting the real and the fake, throughout "If You Know You Know," and he's matched by the sonics that Kanye West, in rare form compared to the rest of his late period output, lends him. It's a gauntlet of buzzsaw guitars and ringing percussion that Pusha walks through unscathed -- leisurely even. He doesn't need to be rushed: his career and "If You Know You Know" itself show the fruits of his patience. [9]

Andy Hutchins: Two-plus decades on -- the leak-only Exclusive Audio Footage was recorded in the late '90s, and the brothers Thornton were Clipse years before that, even -- rap's smirking underdog snow-thrower can still make selling drugs sound like the most fun thing in the world. Pusha is not as nimble with flow now as he was in his heyday, and he's liable to grin when once he would sneer, but age has taught him: Every bar matters. And he has a festive Kanye flip of a song from a band that once worked with the guy who would go on to write the Miami Vice theme to do that over here, so making an inscrutable De La Soul reference and shouting out Rich Boy in the same verse makes for delicious incongrousness. "I been hidin' right where you can see me," Pusha says -- and, testament to his rare talent, he sounds as good as ever on his umpteenth d-boy soliloquy. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: Drake's ill-fated "Duppy Freestyle" diss drew Pusha T as an aging competitor whose marginality has been made crueler in following a decline from a mere second-tier height. As he has grown older, Push hasn't disavowed this unsympathetic representation of his career. With Malice, his brother and Clipse counterpart, he recreated street life as a dualistic site of alternate fatalism and biblical denouement; alone he has calcified into a worn veteran who has endured everything and grown more savage from the experience. The album was going to be called King Push and was named ultimately after a luxury brand of wristwatch, but Push has only ever really had the ear of the throne: Kanye, or as the lyric here clarifies: "the skybox next to RiRi's." Push has never thought he was Big Meech; he was hustling when that boss was partying. The verses of "If You Know You Know" are a marvel: dense punchlines that, if they don't slice as sharply as they once did, still hit from the weight of experience behind them. "Ran off on that plug too like Trugoy" isn't just a cute line; it roots Push in hip-hop history by drawing unexpected connections and contrasting that legacy with the jejune indulgence (a "new toy") that opens the track. (Ensuing allusions to Pink Floyd, rude boys, Hit Boy, and Rich Boy's "Throw Some Ds" continue the rhyme scheme and solidify the timeline.) But much like the Daytona album it opens, "If You Know You Know" is merely good, rather than the stunner it is designed to be. Kanye's chops on the beat are inventive, but they don't swing; and the stasis drags down Push, whose age has weakened his precision even while it has strengthened his mind. Something that hasn't changed: his inability to write a hook. The repeated title breaks the momentum of the verses without hanging them on anything catchy to compensate. [7]

Alfred Soto: "Pusha is never less than proficient in a flash sort of way, like a student doing a team project who reminds you that he did the research and editing," I wrote in May, and the swagger of "If You Know" impresses as much as it depresses. What he knows he will never stop explaining. [7]

Ryo Miyauchi: Pusha's trying to convince you that he's last of a dying breed who remembers some classic era of drug culture. But his effort doesn't sound too compelling when it sounds pretty much like what he's been doing since My Name is My Name: the austere, Kanye-produced noir sound remains the same, but also his zigzagging cadence is unchanged. It's one thing to cry about negligence of a past generation, but if he's hollering from the same place while his peers have moved on to different avenues, maybe it's not the youth who needs to open their eyes. [5]

Maxwell Cavaseno: If we look back on the overall history of Southern rappers or, even more specifically, Southern Rappers with a Heavy Emphasis on Cocaine Pushing, the Clipse were the De La Soul of their field. Mathematic, calculated, off-beat, and singular -- and ultimately, a perfectly suitable cult act who got too insular past their initial breakout, and then looked downright embarrassing when they did try and go commercial. This said, I don't remember living in a world where hip-hop heads would aggressively stare you down and talk about how Trugoy the Dove is a career ending monster on the low the way people have insistently flexed over as middling an album as Daytona. The production? Dull, aimless plodding. Pusha himself? Still just an inane punchline artist; only now demonstrating more and more that without Pharrell indicating he and his brother should obediently follow the Puffy and Mase routine, he's useless and unimaginative. "If You Know You Know" is tin-foil brittle, absurdly hollow, insistent on a magnanimousness that Pusha with his lazy flows and ever deteriorating bars shouldn't even entertain pretending to have. [2]

Julian Axelrod: "If You Know You Know" is pure, uncut Push, a king at the height of his power reveling in his inscrutability. Every line sounds like it's been written specifically for ten dudes from his block in Virginia -- you think he gives a fuck if you understand his references to tennis balls and Big Meech tiger parties? So when the song imprints onto your brain and electrifies every cell in your body on first (and thousandth) listen, it almost seems like it's against Push's wishes. The beat is a live wire wonder, with a ticking time bomb intro that explodes into a fireworks display from hell. But Pusha more than holds his own on a beat that would eat other rappers alive, stringing together gorgeous ten-word tableaux at an unparalleled rate. In the weeks since its release, I've essentially memorized the entire song through sheer repetition and I'm still finding new pockets of genius. If this ain't perfect rap music, I don't know what is. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#pusha t #pusha-t #rap #hip-hop #music #new music #music video #music writing #music reviews

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imeugene · 7 years ago

Video

vimeo

So Bob Scerbo’s been posting uncut footage mixed with actual footage plus commentary on his Instagram (@skapegoat256). I wanna say most of it is during the “All Day” era and we’re given a glimpse into the life and processes of the people involved in that project. It’s more or less a Director’s Commentary on the All Day-era, which is pretty sweet.

With that being said I wanna revisit “All Day” cause it really proving to be a cult classic. I use that term cause I remember it was met with lukewarm reaction initially. It wasn’t anything overtly stated with BMX being what it is and Animal/Bob combo being who they are for that era but I can’t help but shake that a lot of people were kind of disappointed. Myself being one of them. I think a lot of stems from the hype that “Can I Eat?”, the Animal video prior, generated. It was a video of bangers and transformative new forms of riding. It really cemented the Animal crew into a position of universal clout, that East Coast riding is technically and creatively just as proficient as anything on the West Coast. I think people wanted more of that and when “All Day” dropped it wasn’t that at all.

All Day was relaxed. I think a lot of people would say it was too relaxed. It was a glimpse into a form of riding that I don’t think the media fully embraced yet. It would later become a lot of what constitutes as “East Coast” riding which a lot of elements mentioned would be adopted into mainstream riding in general. The line heaviness of it all. The idea of spot usage which was exponentially upped but I don’t think the climate in BMX was ripe for it all just yet. This is when web videos were in it’s earliest forms and not a medium that was taken serious at all. The full length was the primary means. The thing with full lengths was that there was a sentiment that videos were going to be a very condensed epic form. Only the best tricks and maneuvers allowed into a 20-30 minute slot. The wait time between “Can I Eat” and “All Day” made the hype into this is gonna be another Animal epic. With “Can I Eat” it was very much just that. Lino and Vinnie laid down grinds that weren’t readily around. Hamilton and Scerbo brought forth a a different style and Edwin’s section was nothing but bangers that people are doing today but over a decade ago. “All Day” was epic but drastically in a different way. It was clocking in close to an hour long which was unheard of and the departure from the epic format that was accustomed to videos as a whole.

Lines and spot usage was pushed in the forefront. Bangers were wins in a different sense. Scerbo does a bump jump rail hop and Hamilton a wallride to 180 on the OSU wall on some 26 inch or something. George Dossantos’s banger was a smith hard 180 done clean on foot tall ledge, even when Jared Washington does one mid section all sloppy. The riding was progressive but not quite in the same scale that most watchers I think predicted it would be. It was a lot of lines and spot usage. Which isn’t that strange to think about today cause that’s what the East Coast really devolved into but at the time I don’t think East Coast riding cemented that type of identity fully, it was really “All Day” that gave credos to that type of riding, being able to make most of a spot and do the right tricks, the right way, efficiently. But like I said I don’t think the climate was right for it just then. People was expecting Hamilton to go balls out bigger and Edwin to do a feeble hard 180 double bar and when it wasn’t just that it felt like expectations were shattered a bit. People didn’t really crap on it openly but I wanna say it wasn’t half as well received as “Can I Eat?”.

Bob really subverted expectations in this one. I say it’s a cult classic because time has a way of giving merit to what is quality and “All Day” in my opinion is probably the best Animal video. There wasn’t ground breaking riding as expected but it gave rise to a style that was around but never really tapped into. It was almost a cultural experience filled with bird calls, graffiti titles, NYC happenings and it truly immersed you into the scene with the best riders, the unknowns and the guys who did good that one day. All this felt much more relatable in a way that I don’t think any other video really has come close into the scope of realizing. Somehow the standout trick for Edwin is him manueling a whole bridge. A lot of videos have a way of feeling like an advert, it’s polished and curated in a way where the riders and company are the source of focus but “All Day” was a documentary that truly documented the thriving but still very much underground NYC scene at it’s finest.

I think a lot of it’s honest comes from the way Bob processed the project. He was one of the riders and showcased well what was happening. You see it in the Instagram post how he worked with other riders and made most of everything without ever forcing something to happen. It was naturalistic cause most of the video was NYC and the home of more or less everyone. This isn’t a riding video that was conducted in 10 road trips where the idea of having to produce was in the back of everyone head. In that sense some of the riding is casual cause probably every session of filming was just that. To be in the heart of a scene and capture everything is what “All Day” was. Bob worked with the riders to create an environment they thrived in instead of forcing some type of project on everyone to produce.

I think thats why Animal has a cult level of popularity with riders all around the world. It has this background ideology that what and who is around is enough. That riding doesn’t have to be epic or extra, that the unique happenings of the scene is credible enough. The riders that Animal have chosen is all a reflection of that. At the time there weren’t any super pros. Edwin was the closest but then you have Tom White who can’t do anything but go big and people like Wormz who are as elusive as ever. It stripped notions of professionality and created a culture instead of a brand. Which has a lot of value if utilized correctly. Today’s market culture is equated with some fancy hashtag or phrase but no one did the bird call sound cause that was what Animal told the watchers to go out and do, people did it cause it was a way for them to feel apart of the ideal. That’s something that Animal did a great job with in this video. Plus as a filmer, that slow shutter is iconic with Animal videos to me.

I think in hindsight people realize how great “All Day” truly was. Today’s casual instagram riding and the approach a lot of people take in the mainstream was really given grounds in this video. I think spot usage became a real thing with this video, like Vinnie’s first clip where he squeezes in between the rails. “All Day” is a film that is meant to be watched from beginning to end and you know thats Bob’s intention with how he cuts sounds from one section to another. How the session in NYC ends with that bench ledge but then the same spot is used to introduce George D. absolutely murdering it. I told myself I was going to watch a few sections to prep myself cause honestly an hour to me seems a lot these days but I ended up watching the whole thing anyway. It’s a video about the scene and not a intro rider whose good and the banger rider at the end, with the rest of the team as filler in between. Everyone offers something different and new and people find themselves divided which one appeals to them the most. “All Day” is probably my favorite video in it’s entirety. Go watch the whole video then read Bob’s background info on his Instagram, best thing on the internet right now.

#bmx #animal bikes

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redsoapbox · 7 years ago

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MY TOP TEN ALBUMS LIST OF 1983

As someone who has always been an obsessive list-maker, I can’t quite comprehend how I’ve resisted the temptation, in the three years of redsoapbox, to blog to the world my thoughts on favourite films, books, records, etc. However, during some much-needed spring cleaning over the weekend, I stumbled upon a list of my favourite albums from 1983 and my defences collapsed on the spot. So I ’m putting it out there, regardless of the risk to my reputation (ha, ha).

1.Swordfishtrombones - Tom Waits

The album, of course, that marked Waits’ change from jazzy, bohemian barfly to surrealist junkyard poet. I hadn’t had much to do with Waits up until this point but subsequently bought up his back catalogue on the strength of this masterpiece. Waits described the transition in style this way - “I hatched out of the egg I was living in. I'd nailed one foot to the floor and kept going in circles, making the same record”. “In the Neighbourhood”, the alt.torch song “Frank’s Wild Years” and the little love poem “Johnsburg, Illinois” were the obvious standouts. Swordfishtrombones still remains on heavy rotation in the McGrath household today.

Selected track - “In the Neighbourhood”

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2. Life’s a Riot with Spy Vs. Spy - Billy Bragg

Sometime in 83/84, I showed up at the local Polytechnic to watch The Icicle Works and fell head over heels in love with unbilled support act, Billy Bragg. As a fully paid-up member of the Labour Party, I bought into Billy’s ‘socialism of the heart’ in a big way. I stood there open-mouthed as the ‘Bard of Barking’ cranked out “Milkman of Human Kindness”, “New England” and “To Have And Have Not”. The gig ended on an unbelievable high, with Billy joining Ian McNabb and co. on stage for an encore which included a medley of “Jailhouse Rock”, “L.A. Woman” and “Love Will Tear Us Apart”. I’ve seen Billy ‘one-man Clash’ Bragg play a dozen times since, and this fifteen-minute masterpiece remains high in my all-time top twenty albums list.

Selected track - “To Have And Have Not”

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3. Hysterics - The Nightingales

In the sixties, you got to define yourself musically/culturally by choosing between The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, for post-punks like me, though, it was a straight choice between The Fall and The Nightingales (of course, you could secretly worship both and I did!). I was always, deep down, a Robert Lloyd man - I once fired off an angry letter to *Mojo taking Morrissey to task for lumping the ‘gales in with The June Brides and The Jasmine Minks - and still regard the frontman as one of the best lyricists in pop music history. It was a real joy to witness The Nightingales come back from a 20-year hiatus (during which Lloyd worked as a Postman) with 2006′s Out Of True, an album which gives Hysterics a real run for its money. One of my top 5 all-time favourite gigs was The Nightingales/Happy Monday’s/Ted Chippington corker in the Poly of Wales in 1984/85.

Selected track - “This”

The Nightingales have not been too well-served by the internet and there is next to nothing in terms of live footage before their reformation. They did, however, record 8 Sessions for John Peel, including the one below from the 5th of December 1983 which kicks off with “This”, the only song from Hysterics that I could track down for the purposes of this piece.

* The letter was published in issue no 151.

youtube

4. Murmur - R.E.M.

Having disastrously passed up the chance to catch ‘some new American band’, who in fact turned out to be none other than R.E.M., at Rumney’s run-down New Ocean Club in November 1984, I had to wait a further five years to see the band play (in Newport and Birmingham) as part of their Green tour. By then, of course, the whole world had fallen in love with the college rockers turned conquering heroes. Albums such as Document and Green may have propelled Athens’ finest into the big leagues, but the Byrdsian mumble-fest that is Murmur remains their masterpiece. A belated thumbs-up to Big Al for turning me onto the band in the first place.

Selected track - “Talk About The Passion”.

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5. Power Corruption and Lies - New Order

You can’t begin to discuss the strange and surreal story of New Order’s rise to world domination without first engaging with the personal tragedy of Ian Curtis and the dramatic fall of Joy Division. How the remaining members of Manchester miserabilists Joy Division - Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner and Stephen Morris - recovered from the suicide of their friend and frontman Curtis in May 1980 to remodel themselves as the unexpected pioneers of Indie dance (Blue Monday is the biggest selling 12 inch record of all time) is surely one of the tallest tales in the annals of popular music.

Full disclosure here - there was a time in the mid-eighties, stretching to somewhere between 12 and 18 months, where I barely listened to anything other than Joy Division/New Order. Curtis had already died when I bumped into two old school friends, Tosh and Dai, huddled in the doorway of The Criterion pub at closing time one stormy Friday night in Pontypridd in the winter of 1983. In what was undoubtedly a drunken conversation, I heard the name Joy Division for the very first time. The next morning, with praise for JD still ringing in my head (unless that was the hangover), I headed straight for Hurleys Toy Shop (there was a record store in the back, staffed that morning by another friend from school, Huw, a mod who was clad in his usual Parka). I asked him to put on the first Joy Division record that I had caught sight of, which, try and stifle the laughter here folks, happened to be odds & sods compilation Still. The thrumming, glacial intro to “Exercise One” slowly unfurled and then, at 1.43 precisely, Curtis’ doomy, dislocated voice kicked in and my life would never be quite the same again. And I hadn’t even heard a track from Unknown Pleasures or Closer, let alone the classic singles “Love Will Tear Us Apart”, “Transmission” or “Atmosphere”.

New Order tried and failed to recapture that sound with their debut album Movement, but they were saved by the unlikeliest of transitions - the doom merchants became dance doyens, a shift signaled by the singles “Everything’s Gone Green” and “Temptation”.The members of New Order underwent personality transplants overnight and cemented their place in the pop pantheon.

Selected track - “Age of Consent”. The video below is the notorious live BBC concert, where everything in the lead-up to the gig has gone wrong. Bernard, visibly bursting at the seams with anger, isn’t best pleased, to begin with, and things are about to get worse!. I must have watched that twenty-minute broadcast a million times!

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6. The Icicle Works - The Icicle Works

It’s been many a long year since I played this album and off the top of my head I can only name a couple of the tracks - “Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)” and the top twenty hit “Love Is A Wonderful Colour”. I was, though, a hardcore fan at the time, buying every album and a fair few of the Ian McNabb solo efforts that followed, including his majestic Head Like A Rock (1994), featuring members of Crazy Horse. Around the time of that album, he played a gig in Newport in front of a very paltry crowd. He took to the stage, looked around him and murmured ‘so this is Newport’. He never uttered another word during the set and looked well fed-up with life. He did, though, play the storming “Fire Inside My Soul”, which more than made up for his couldn’t care less attitude.

Selected track - “Love Is A Wonderful Colour”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFUGLNz1YfY

7. Punch the Clock - Elvis Costello and the Attractions

Another album that needs a good dusting down! Aside from King of America (1986), I usually confine myself to the Greatest Hits compilations when I’m in the mood for a slice of EC these days. Funnily enough, this month’s issue of Uncut has a feature on the album's producers Clive Langer and Alan Winstanley in which they recall that ‘the premise of the record was Elvis needs a hit, and a hit in America. Keep that in mind”. Langer recalls Costello freaking out on the last night of recording, claiming the album sounded crap. There are great tracks here - “Shipbuilding”, “Everyday I Write the Book” and “Pills and Soap” but there won’t be too many Costello aficionados claiming it as his best work.

Selected track - “Let Them All Talk”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjr9zAknhbI

8. Soul Mining - The The

Although we weren’t to know it at the time it was Matt Johnson’s follow-up to this fine record, 1986′s crusading, state of the nation classic Infected, that would truly stand the test of time. Soulmining shouldn’t be neglected, however, with fine tunes like “This is the Day” and “Uncertain Smile” to its credit.

Selected track - “This is the Day”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAue9jqLB74

9. Perverted by Language - The Fall

Probably The Fall record I played the most down the years (along with Live at the Witch Trials), mainly because I was obsessed with “Eat Y’ Self Fitter”. Any track beginning

I’m in the furniture trade / Got a new job today / But stick the cretin / On the number-three lathe’, deserves our absolute devotion.

As with most Mark E. Smith compositions, I haven’t got a scooby’s as to what the substance of the song is actually about, but it doesn’t really matter, does it? when you can belt out ‘Where’s the cursor? Where’s the eraser? until you’re fit to drop.

Selected track - “ Eat Y’Self Fitter” of course!

.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFCOt6wbm80

10. Inarticulate Speech of the Heart - Van Morrison

The Belfast Cowboy’s streak of legendary albums, from 1968′s Astral Weeks through to 1974′s Veedon Fleece (discounting workmanlike efforts such as His Band and Street Choir in 1970 and 1973′s Hard Nose the Highway), was well and truly over and his mid-eighties slump entirely predictable by the time of this average undertaking. Still, anything that bears Morrison’s stamp upon it is bound to include a magical track here or there. In this case, it was the momentously odd “Rave On, John Donne” and the Morrison masterclass that is “The Street Only Knew Your Name”.

Selected track - “The Street Only Knew Your Name”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa8sdU6bxlA

Clearly, there are some glaring omissions here, but I was a 21-year-old slip of a lad at the time, and all in all, it’s a pretty fair list, I think. The top 4 are all still to be found in my top 30 albums list and I wouldn’t disown any of the others 35 years on. Those were great gig-going years - many thanks to Duncan, Huw and Stephen who accompanied me to some of the concerts mentioned above, and plenty of others besides in my indie heyday. I guess I still owe you petrol money, guys?

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terryblount · 5 years ago

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New gameplay footage released for the four-player PvE first-person shooter, GTFO

10 Chambers Collective, an independent nine-man Swedish development team led by the game designer behind the PAYDAY franchise, released uncut gameplay from a play session the developers had at their game studio. Therefore, this video will give you an idea of what GTFO is all about.

Simon Viklund, member of 10 Chambers Collective, said:

“We’re making GTFO for the hardcore gaming community – a community I would like to say we’re a part of as well – and I know I prefer real gameplay over cinematic trailers that aren’t showing anything from the actual game you will be playing. It’s also the best way of communicating what GTFO is: How important communication and teamwork within the squad is, which is why we’re also including the voice chat audio from the play session.”

The 9-minute long gameplay video shows how the developers cooperatively work their way through the Complex – the underworld that is GTFO – in look for a “Hydrostasis Unit”. The game gives little help on the direction and the crew needs to fend for themselves, for example via using computer terminals and watch for signs on the doors. Comparing to the latest gameplay footage released by the nine-man team in 2018, the improvements are visible in everything from fog and lighting to the actual design of the tools and weapons.

Since GTFO was first announced, the team has emphasized how it is targeted at hardcore gamers. The difficulty level is high and you will need to have a tight team with rapport and shorthand, as well as a will to cooperate and coordinate. The fact that the game is hard is made apparent by the fact that even the GTFO developers wipe during this attempt.

Simon Viklund added:

“Since the playable demo at E3 and Gamescom 2018, we’ve upgraded the game across the board. Graphics, gameplay, optimization and huge improvements to the fog and lightning – you will notice the difference.

Communication is key in GTFO. Running away from your team and trying to be a gun blazing renegade, will never work. You need to cooperate and have a well thought out strategy as a team before daring to go into a new room of the expedition. Work together or die together”.

Ulf Andersson, founder of 10 Chambers Collective, concluded:

“Our enthusiastic community has given us a lot of energy during the development of GTFO, and these fans are also the reason why we really want to make sure that we deliver on our promise: The hardcore co-op experience they’ve been longing for. This Halloween, we’re giving them a chance to get a taste before our planned Early Access release late this year.”

Enjoy!

The post New gameplay footage released for the four-player PvE first-person shooter, GTFO appeared first on DSOGaming.

New gameplay footage released for the four-player PvE first-person shooter, GTFO published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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awkwardlyamusing-blog · 5 years ago

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Brooke Houts: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

New Post has been published on http://doggietrainingclasses.com/brooke-houts-5-fast-facts-you-need-to-know/

Brooke Houts: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

On left: Brooke Houts’ IMDB headshot. On right: a screenshot of Houts with her Doberman, Sphinx.

Brooke Houts is a YouTuber and actress who has come under fire for raw footage of a video she was making with her Doberman, Sphinx, in which she appears to hit him and then spit on him.

Houts has since given a statement on the backlash and accidental video upload, in which she said in part, “I want to clarify that I am NOT a dog abuser or animal abuser in any way, shape, or form.”

An LAPD media representative confirmed to The Verge that the Animal Cruelty unit has launched an investigation. The rep said, “Our Animal Cruelty Task Force has received numerous complaints about the video you’re speaking of and we are currently looking into the matter.”

The controversy began when Houts accidentally uploaded a video of raw footage on August 6, which shows her smacking her dog, pinning him to the ground and shouting “NO!”

The video was quickly taken down and replaced with the more polished cut, but many had already seen it by the time she took it down. You can still see the footage in the video under fact #1. She has also now taken down the edited version of the plastic wrap prank video.

Here’s what you need to know about Houts:

1. READ: Houts’ Full Statement on the Controversial Footage

In a tweet on August 6, Houts addressed the controversy head on, via a series of screenshots of a statement she appeared to write on the Notes app. She also wrote the same statement in a comment on the YouTube video (as seen below) where the uncut footage originate from. The statement reads,

Anything I say isn’t going to make those who believe I’m a bad person stop believing that, and I’m aware of this. I apologize to anyone who has been effected negatively by the footage. First off, I want to address the uncut footage. On the day in particular that the video was filmed, and actually this past week, things in my outside life have been less than exceptional. I am not going to play the “victim card” or anything of that sort, but I do want to point out that I am rarely as upset as what was shown in the footage. The bubbly, happy-go-lucky Brooke that you often see in my videos is typically an accurate representation of me, but it’s obvious that I’m playing up my mood in this video when I’m clearly actually frustrated.

That being said, this does NOT justify me yelling at my dog in the way that I did, and I’m fully aware of that. Should I have gotten as angry as I did in the video? No. Should I have raised my voice and yelled at him? No. However, when my 75 lb. Doberman is jumping up in my face with his mouth open, I do, as a dog parent, have to show him that this behavior is unacceptable. But I want to make it known, REGARDLESS of what my dog does, I should not have acted that way towards him.

I want to clarify that I am NOT a dog abuser or animal abuser in any way, shape, or form. Anyone who has witnessed or heard true animal abuse will be able to clearly see that. My dog, in no way, shape, or form was hurt by any action that I displayed in this video. I know people are going to say “you don’t know how he really feels” and this is true. But if he was audibly and physically in pain, it would be a different story. I also did NOT spit on my dog, but I understand how it could look like I did. Did I get in his face and take unnecessary actions towards him? Yes I did, and that was not the way I should’ve handled the situation. Did I spit on my dog? No.

My family and I are in the process of getting him training. The training that I have been looking at for him is VERY expensive, because it’d have to be 1-on-1 with a trainer. Ever since he was attacked at the dog park, he isn’t okay with being around other dogs. He sticks to me like velcro if he is in the presence of another dog, even a little chihuahua. I just can’t see him getting what he needs from a group training environment. That being said, I know I personally can learn more effective techniques to get his energy out and keep him disciplined as well.

Anyone who knows me personally knows I have an immense love for animals, including my own. I would never do anything to purposefully physically or mentally harm any animal. Again, I should NOT have yelled at him or have been as physically aggressive as I was, and I’m fully aware of that. He was not hurt, nor has he ever been purposefully hurt by me. I know I’ll be in many future situations where he’s being physical, but I will not respond this way again.

Family or friends that have spent any amount of time with Sphinx and me know that we have a trusting, loving relationship. All he wants to do is be by my side, cuddle with me, and be around me, which I love. My love for him is exponential and infinite, and I do everything I can in my day-to-day life to ensure that he is living as happily as he can. I’m sorry that my actions in that particular moment did not reflect that.

About my twitter- I deactivated my account earlier in the day. When I went to open it, I was met with an excess of notifications of people telling me I’m messed up, a bad person, that I’m going to hell, that I belong in jail, etc. For my own mental health, and no other reason besides that, I didn’t think it was necessary for me to be reading those comments at that time. Lastly, I don’t want to make this statement seem like it’s me defending myself, because that is not my goal. I do want to point out what ACTUALLY happened though. My intent by explaining the situation is to give those of you who are rightfully angry with me the explanation that you deserve. I am getting my dog into training, and I’m looking at ways to improve how I personally train him at home. I am sorry that you guys had to watch that footage and were upset by it, and I’m sorry to my dog for raising my voice and acting aggressively.

In my heart and from the words of the people that spend the most time with me, I know that I am a great dog mom (but not perfect), that I spoil him in the best ways, that he gets all the treats he could ever want, and that the Amazon Prime mailman is probably tired of delivering packages of dog toys to my house. Again, this does not make my actions in the footage okay, but I’m just explaining what my day-to-day life is really like, whether you believe me or not.

On a serious note, I love you guys, and I want to THANK YOU for pointing out things that you think are wrong and discussing them, because the world needs more of that. I hope you give me the chance to prove that these statements about myself do align with my actions. All my love, Brooke Houts

2. Houts’ YouTube Channel Has 339,000 Subscribers & She Often Features Her Doberman in Videos

Houts has a popular YouTube channel; she boasts over 339,000 subscribers, and routinely uploads videos. The video she was filming that led to the alleged dog abuse, “Plastic wrap prank on my doberman!,” was taken down on August 7. The video had over 138,000 views. The caption for the video read, “Hey guys! Me & me favorite dog ever are here to bring you a plastic wrap prank lol, this is probably the shortest video to ever go up on my channel but I hope you like it!!! Let us know if you wanna see more pranks 🐶🖤”

Many users have since commented on that video, condemning her behavior with her dog. One user wrote, “I have seen a few of your videos with Sphinx and from the beginning I’ve felt that you don’t understand what the breed needs. But I’ve tried to not be judgmental beforehand since you sometimes have mentioned that you do train him. But then I saw the video where you show how you train him.”

Another user wrote, “Imagine beating your dog for trying to show love and affection 😒”

This makes my blood BOIL. How dare you blame this on “training” your dog. @brookehouts. You are disgusting. You deserve both your channel taken down, and your beautiful puppy be given to a deserving home you monster. pic.twitter.com/DaoRdkbsj1

— Mister Preda (@MisterPreda) August 7, 2019

Other well-known YouTubers have even weighed in. Andrea Russett, an actress and YouTube personality, tweeted, “dogs give, give & give an unconfidtional love asking nothing but the same in return. the way u reacted to ur dog simply being a dog was unacceptable & hard to watch. i hope you learn and grow from this, because no animal should ever be in a home where it’s being treated that way.”

Mister Preda, another influencer and YouTube personality, tweeted, “This makes my blood BOIL. How dare you blame this on “training” your dog. @brookehouts You are disgusting. You deserve both your channel taken down, and your beautiful puppy be given to a deserving home you monster.”

Similarly, Ethan Nestor (a video game commentator, vlogger, and former video editor) tweeted, “this is such a bullshit apology. ‘I will not respond this way again.’ yes you will! I guarantee this is the way you’ve always scolded your dog, so why would that change. Stop acting like this was a one time thing. This dog needs a better home and you need help for anger issues.”

Logan Paul posted a Twitter thread on the controversy, writing in part, “…this video of that girl hitting & spitting on her dog is remarkably grotesque, and irks me for many reasons… im terrified by the on-camera personality shift she puts on when she’s ‘performing’ … one thing ive always tried to do is be authentic, sometimes too authentic, and i’d bet an unhealthy amount of creators wear a mask just as ugly”

3. One of Houts’ Most Viewed Videos Involves Her Kissing Her Apparent Ex-Boyfriend

Houts’ videos tend to run the gamut, in terms of content. But one of her most popular video (which has garnered over 3.3 million views) is “KISSING MY EX-BOYFRIEND (Extreme Ex-Boyfriend Tag).” You can watch the video above.

Many of Houts’ videos revolve around Sphinx, too. Another of her most popular videos follows a “day in the life” of Sphinx:

In the video, Houts brushes Sphinx’s teeth, walks him (and defends the collar she uses for Sphinx), washes him, and more.

Houts has had a YouTube account since 2014. Her “About Me” section reads, “HEY my name is Brooke Houts and if you’re reading this congratulations you can read. Since you’re already here, I heard that it’s strongly advised by all medical personnel that you hit the subscribe button (also the notification bell doesn’t hurt either) or else SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN I DON’T KNOW I’M BAD AT LYING JUST SUBSCRIBE OKAY IT’S FREE AND FUN”

4. Houts Is LA-Based, & Affiliates Herself With MOSAIC

Though Houts has since turned her Instagram account private, her bio does offer some information about the YouTuber. She’s based in LA, for example, and affiliates herself with MOSAIC, a church in Los Angeles with six locations across the city.

Houts’ Twitter bio reads, “Subscibe to my stupid channel already.” She has over 6,000 followers on Twitter and over 26,000 followers on Instagram. Her most recent tweet as of August 7 reads, “Thank you to everyone who’s being kind and understanding. I really appreciate it”

‌IMDB

Houts also appears to be an aspiring actress, as she uploaded a video called “What it’s really like being an actress in LA” in May. In the video, Houts drives around Los Angeles with a friend, makes a green juice, and talks about why she loves the makeup brand Glossier.

Houts does have an IMDB account. Her one IMDB acting credit is for a television series called Interracial.

5. Houts’ Dog, Sphinx, Has His Own Instagram Account

Though Houts’ has made her own Instagram account private to all non-followers, her dog, Sphinx, still has a public Instagram account. Users have since flooded his comments with attacks on Houts.

“Nice dog but sh*t owner,” one user commented.

Many others have tagged the ASPCA. One user did that and wrote, “@aspca please help this poor dog, and when you do spit and push the owner on the ground. Then say you are just in a bad mood that day.”

READ NEXT: ‘Sesame Place Sallie’ Tells Muslim Woman to ‘Go Back to Where You Came From’

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