#I would be such a mess freaking out over the cosplay and the dog | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

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I’d like to request hc’s of the Brothers and Diavolo reacting to an MC that’s so cute, she could pass off as a doll. If she stands perfectly still, she could pass off as a full sized doll until she moves again. She has adorable doe eyes, wears cute clothes (Lolita fashion or just has an anime girl style), and even makes cute desserts. If the usual MC was weak and frail to them already, Doll!MC seems so dainty, precious, and fragile; these guys would ban paper if she ever got a paper cut.

Oooooo this is really interesting! I can just imagine Doll!MC just making everyone so scared every time she moves because they could probably hurt themselves just bumping into a wall because they look so fragile lol. These were short, so hope you enjoy!

Update: here’s part 2 with the other Undateables!

The Brothers and Diavolo Reacting to Doll!MC

Lucifer

...maybe he made a mistake in picking you for the exchange program after all

You just look so delicate, and just so pure.

You have definitely made cute little snacks and brought it to him while he locked himself in the office with paperwork

He lowkey highkey likes it no matter how he brushes it off with the usual thanks. Keep doing it, MC, he really appreciates it

When you get in trouble and he gives you the usual lectures, he can’t look into your eyes for long

Geez, he already can’t stay mad at you for long but now he can just feel his resolve cracking

If you get hurt oh Diavolo prepare for helicopter parent Lucifer

As soon as you accidently cut yourself in the kitchen (it would be the tiniest cut, barely noticeable), you’re no longer allowed in the kitchen unsupervised and can’t handle anything with a sharp end (whether its a butter knife or kid proof scissors that would be safe for Luke to use unsupervised)

“Let me do it for you, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Lucifer, thank you but I’ll be okay. It’s just a frosting spatula it’s not sharp-”

Will punish his brothers 10x worse and demons 100x more if he finds out you got hurt (doesn’t matter what the injury is, could be so much as a paper cut there will be hell to pay)

Constantly checks on you when he can’t see you in person

Handles you so lightly that you barely feel his touch

Move over Belphie, you’re the baby of the house now

Mammon

Protective x100000

Is still tsudere around you, but doesn’t insult you as much

Who are you kidding as soon as he looks into your cute doe eyes, he forgets what he’s saying

Complains about having to do stuff for you but doesn’t mind at all really. He loves it because it feels like you’re depending on him, and that makes him feel worth something.

“C’mon human, let the Great Mammon carry your books! You’re gonna hurt yourself and I don’t feel like hearing Lucifer’s mouth today!”

It was just your planner and a small recipe book that Luke gave you, and it weighed less than 10 pounds but okay. You don’t complain either when you see that he genuinely wants to help and do these things

Basically your loud guard dog and secret service agent rolled into one

He’s gotten into trouble more than once for “protecting you”. A student barely bumped your shoulder and Mammon already tackled him. Lucifer was not pleased (but he secretly understood)

He can’t help it that you’re weak and surrounded by hungry demons! It’s a pain to go through this much effort to just protect you, since you look so helpless

MC he’s just worried that you easily break if a demon so much as breathes on you but he likes that he can protect you because he knows that he can keep you safe. You’re just too cute and sweet okay??

Also stand in his room after watching a horror movie to freak him out and he’ll be sounding like Mariah Carey lmao

Leviathan

RURI-CHAN IS THAT YOU??!

Is for sure having an otaku/weaboo freakout moment

You blend in with figurines so well, every time you come into his room he asks you to stand next to them so he can feel that his collection is complete

He does it sometimes when he streams so people can think he has a rare limited-edition life sized doll that they can’t get. Makes him feel superior

DRESSING YOU UP IN COSPLAY 100%

You’re like an anime character but in real life and he does not know how to handle it

Can’t stare into your eyes, it makes them too flustered because he’s used to seeing it in his otome games and not from an actual person that he likes

Who needs maid cafes when he has you? You even dress and make anime themed desserts (once he built up the courage to ask you to make it for him)

Has to calm his beating heart every time he talks to you, you’re too precious for him MC!

Your like his very own idol, minus the singing and dancing. However, if you can sing and dance....

Levi.exe has stopped working

Satan

Thought you were a real doll until you introduced yourself

He really thought that someone brought you to life Pinocchio style

You looked like a princess from the many stories that he read, and he was smitten

Treated you so graceful and elegant like until he had his rage moments, which he told you to stay far, far, far away from him until he calmed down completely

Secretly placed a hex on you to where if someone tried to attack you or touch you with harmful intentions, they would be somehow be subjected to looking at their worst fear

You were wondering why that random stranger was just staring wide at you with extensive terror, but then you saw Satan grinning, so you left it alone. You thought it was just some weird demon thing

Loved when you made him cat-themed desserts

If you wore cat ears while doing it, he will turn extremely red

If you meow for him, he won’t know how to handle himself

Asmodeus

You are just the cutest thing he has ever laid his eyes on!!

Besides from himself of course, don’t get it twisted he’s still #1

He has most definitely had more than one photoshoot done with you both. And you guys have been trending on the Devilgram a couple of times already

Really you guys trend at least twice a month, and his fans love you!

They always ask where he got the doll from but he always laughs and says that “it’s a secret”

Imagine their shock when they see you walking and talking at RAD, some are amazed and some are downright scared

Fashion shows!

He lives for dressing you up in cute clothes. Your style already suited you and he had great tastes so the new outfits he got you were just *chef’s kiss*

The cute little desserts that you made for him, he always posted it on the Devilgram before he ate it. They were just so cute MC and he couldn’t not show his fans!

Is the most careful brother when it comes to keeping you out of danger. He refused to let his body or skin damaged, and he wasn’t about to let it happen to you either! You are both way too dainty and fragile to let anything happen

Also spa days and self-care nights weekly!

You’re the perfect match made just for him MC

He finally has someone that can understand his struggle of being beautiful, bless you MC

Beelzebub

Soft boy is scared of touching you :(

He towers over you, and he’s scared to even be near you

It takes some time, but he starts to warm up to you

Is always gentle with you, no matter the scenario

Holding hands? He is hardly gripping your hand, said hand fitting loosely in his

Getting hugs? He’s meagerly holding you, not wanting to crush you

You once complained to Beel that it wasn’t fair to get half done hugs (if you were hugging, you were getting a real hug, not a scared one).

He made you swear that if he was hurting you to let him know, so now you have your very own signal to use for him just in case

He was very tempted to wrap you in bubble wrap and just carry you around like that

He LOVES your sweets, even more than Luke’s and Barbatos’

No matter the size, he loves them, mainly because you made them and it was made with love, just for him

It always makes him feel so warm inside, and he doesn’t feel his appetite gnawing at him like usual

No one is dumb enough to try anything with you both in his presence and not, unless they want to end up either a: deep into the ground or b: into his stomach

You just make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he just loves everything about you. He just loves you

Belphegor

Hm, you look cute

For a human

Acts like he doesn’t care, but you’ve caught him blushing before (he still does it too)

Won’t outright admit that you’re charming in your own little way, but he does in his sarcastic way like usual

“MC, you’re such a half-pint. You’re like my personal sized teddy bear.”

Has cuddled with you like you were his personal teddy bear (and still does, but you don’t complain at all)

Has a secret sweet tooth and eat your desserts whenever you make it just for him (and he doesn’t even share it with Beel, that monster)

Demons just have to look Belphie in the eyes, watch him flex his claws, and they all of a sudden forget about whatever they were planning. Good

He hates that you look so fragile, but at the same time he kinda likes it

You just look so soft, and you’re just so kind

It makes him feel like he’s protecting and caring for you, and that makes him feel calm and peaceful

Please make sure that he’s okay MC, he’s scared that he’s gonna mess up again

Diavolo

The Prince of Hell is both surprised and pleased at your appearance

Do all humans look this charming or is it just you??

If someone as soft as you can survive living and going to school with demons, then this is great

Knew that you weren’t a doll, but still liked to admire you like one

Has asked more than once for pictures, you are just too enchanting!

Wants to have a portrait painted of you so he can hang it up in the castle

LOVES you baking for him! Loves when Barbatos does it too (even though it is kinda part of his job), but it feels different with you. It feels...domestic in a sense. Makes him feel like Diavolo, your friend and very interested in being your boyfriend, instead of Lord Diavolo, the prince that will be residing over Hell in the future

No one would be foolish enough to hurt you. If someone was, they wouldn’t even get the chance to lift a finger before they were directly dealing with him. Don’t take his kindness for weakness, he still is a demon after all, the future King of Hell to be exact

Was scared of touching you at first, but quickly grew out of it! He can handle his own strength, and you guys also have a signal to use just in case he does squeeze a little too tight

Will want to dress you up in royal clothes (if you were okay with it). Nothing is wrong with your current style, as a matter of fact it suits you! He basically just wants to play a fancy game of dress up/have a fashion show with royal clothing

Will take 100s of photos, no exaggeration

Asmo will be jealous, so be warned

Plus, he wants to know how his future lover/ruler would look in a crown so he can start taking measurements. You can never be too ready, right MC?

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notfeelingthyaster · 5 years ago

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Imagine (inspired by the incomplete fanfic Son of Underworld) (2/5) (Son of Hades! Percy AU)

Check the other parts in the masterpost - read the warnings before proceeding. Good reading!!

After the worse summer, Percy goes home.

Luke's proposal keeps swimming in his head - the blonde is not wrong, but Percy has been scammed before - he remembers once that a "friend" convinced him to be a lookout for him to do something shady at the Dean's Office and then put the blame on him.

And he was blamed - Percy is black, and black kids are never the innocent ones - but now he knows better.

Being a child of the Underworld gods is not that different from being black.

Percy is comfortable with his skin though - his mother is incredible, and most people at Camp are mixed up. Charles is African-American. Selena's father is Muslim, and the Stoll's mother is Jewish (half the reason they are year-rounders). Clarisse's mom is from Nicaragua. Michael Yew has a Brazilian grandma with Japanese heritage.

He isn't friends with most of them - Charles is like a big brother to him and Michael Yew taught him how to shoot an arrow, but Clarisse is at most a good spar partner and nor the Stolls nor Silena care for his company very much.

Percy tells himself that he doesn't care.

He packs his bags - a blue and red backpack and a few surf shirts from the amusement park where he destroyed a pool and made the ground swallow mechanic spiders, both the Minotaurs horns, now fashioned into very cool knives, his Warhammer and his ax slung across his back. The only sweater he has, the one he came here with, the blue one, is warming him up to the chill of autumn.

Chiron asks him if he doesn't want to stay. He touches the willow standing in the furthest shore of the river, the one that marks the barrier of Camp Half-Blood. It used to be Thalia Grace, daughter of Poseidon.

Chiron looks to him with pity. He doesn't need to know that Percy is planning to murder Gabe Ugliano.

Percy goes to do that. He travels, by car. He has enough money - he has money appearing in his pockets all the time now, his father must be truly guilty.

Then he opens the door of his old apartment - but Gabe is not there, in the living room. There's just his mom, on the couch.

His mom

Alive

Percy cries, and they hug, and then they trade stories. She tells him she was asleep in Olympus, and Zeus gave her back when the bolt got to his hands.

He is less angry. But the heavy weight of indignation seats in his stomach.

There's no time for it now: Percy is going back to Yancy Academy - his grades were not bad - and Gabe is now a very charming statue for someone very rich (later, he will discover it was Persephone who bought it).

He tells her everything, safe in her arms, no shirt, no gloves. His mom can touch him everywhere - not even a cell in his body would attack her.

He is so touch starved he keeps sleeping in her bed for a week, and, at night, he cries. Percy has horrible nightmares - he is just twelve and he has killed.

He tells her about his meeting with his father in hushed whispers at an evening where the sky is blue and pink - just how he likes it.

Sally almost goes to the Underworld herself smack sense in her ex-lover, but she knows Persephone would do so for her.

Percy tells her about Luke - not about the Rebellion, lest any gods hear him, but about Luke and Alabaster and Ethan and those kids, alone in a Cabin of rejects.

She says she is going back to college - and that she'll do her best to go see him every weekend at Yancy.

He tells her about his powers. Sally doesn't like the risks but say he should start practicing for his own safety.

They cuddle and Percy clings to his anchor like a lifeline. Percy wants to go to the Underworld again sometime - more to play with Cerberus than to do anything else.

He takes the bus reluctantly - he offers to stay and go to public school, but he knows his chance lays at Yancy.

Percy study Math. He is in seventh grade now - the real Math is here, the financials and calculus and they keep putting him in "Gifted and Advanced" classes for it.

His English still sucks. Biology, for all that should be easy for him, its way too boring - he prefers dead bodies, thank you very much.

He excels at Math and Health&PE (which summer camp took care), passes with acceptable grades in World History, Geography and Social Studies (he nails a project about demographics with some really helpful ghosts), does badly in Science and fails tragically at English and Literature.

They call him a genius - and a genius has areas they specialize in. His grades in math are enough to push him to the eighth grade.

At weekends, when his mother can't come to see him, he locks his dorm and practices his shadow traveling and his powers over the earth and metal manipulation.

His shadow traveling is a mess - once he ends up in Ukraine, and panics trying to come back, just to end up in Wyoming. Again.

Thrice, he manages to reach the underworld. It's winter - Persephone is somewhere down there, but he doesn't want to see his father. He plays with Cerberus when he has some energy - the first two times he just cuddles up with the dog and sleeps a little.

The last time he goes to the Underworld, it's the last day before summer break - he still has not made any contact with his dad, he still doesn't know if he wants to join Luke, he still doesn't know if he wants to go back to CHB.

He goes back to his Mom's house with a hellhound puppy and makes kitten eyes until she lets it stays - if he trains and feeds him and whatnot.

He has dreams about Grover in a bride's dress. It freaks the hell out of him because there's a cyclops in it.

Percy is crossing the street with groceries when he sees a cyclops. He doesn't give the creature a chance to see him - he goes to his room and start packing - it's too dangerous for him, and he can't lose his Mom again.

He cuddles his Mom and the puppy - which he named Blackjack - and calls Chiron.

Chiron is sending Annabeth - apparently, something happened to the borders of the camp.

Percy decides to help, for Annabeth, for Grover, for the small kids at Cabin 9 and 11, and the newbies (there's one, Will Solace, who isn't even eleven yet and he has been there for a year).

He packs his colorful sweaters (rebelling, but in the opposite direction of his father’s aesthetic), put his puppy in a leash (it's bigger than a mastiff now, but all dogs are puppies) and wait for his best friend.

She meets him with an expression of someone who is announcing a funeral - Grover is lost in his searches for Pan.

Percy thinks the little tremor that shook his building it's a good enough hold in his powers, nothing is broken and no one is dead, so it's fine.

He hugs Annabeth and feels warm inside. Health classes covered changes in his body, but he didn't expect to be that quick. Annabeth is taller than him by at least five inches and much prettier.

He picks up his Warhammer and his ax (how does the mist occlude that? do everyone think he is doing cosplay?), throws a duffel bag in his shoulder, his loyal puppy beside him.

"Are you getting into the dark vibe, Corpse Breath?"

"Shut up Annie"

The camp is being attacked - they get a weird taxi thing, pay extra and are given three random locations in the mainland.

Percy doesn't forget the names. There's Agramonte, in Cuba; Okeechobee, in Florida; and Pic La Selle in Haiti.

CHB is being attacked when they get there - by bronze bulls no less. Percy goes to battle with a weapon in each hand, like a war god.

Clarisse does way more damage than him, bashing bull metal skulls left and right like a master. But he kills one of five and does damage to other two.

She claps him in the back - he is glad he has a sweater on, even if it is a horrible shade of brilliant orange.

Charles and him take the weapons to the Forge to correct any damage. Charles hugs him and then starts gushing about Silena.

Charles and Annabeth takes him to see the new Camp Director.

It's Tantalus.

Percy laughs so hard he almost falls down, and Dionysus looks bored - but Percy isn't dumb, he sees mirth in his eyes.

He wants so badly to do a smart comment. He wants to see if his powers can rip a ghost that his father reinstated. He wants to taunt Tantalus.

"What are you laughing about, metic?"

"Nothing, you remind me of someone."

But Percy fends off other questions, and sits at the Cabin 11 table obediently. He wants to startle that man so badly he won't ever sneer at Percy anymore.

He knows just the people for the job. They aren't in any way close, but they all up for mischief. His opportunity comes with the chariot race announced - Percy corners the Stoll Brothers.

"Let me race with you" He starts, and they look surprised by any emotion coming from him in their direction (Percy smiles were reserved for Annie and Grover and Luke and Alabaster and Ethan).

"I want to startle Tantalus and you want victory - I can give you any chariot, if you let me swarm the whole road with skeletons"

The Stolls look at one another, and mentally say something, before doing a random coin toss.

"I'm racing with you" Says Connor.

They mark a time to see the chariot in the next day. They take the whole Cabin 11 with them to prevent attention - Percy is not letting this game go.

Percy gets a chariot directly from the underworld, black obsidian (not Stygian iron, way too rare) and silver, with blue gems that glisten under the sun, a Helm with wings marking its front.

There are four horses pushing it - skeletal horses, incapable of feeling pain or thirst.

It's the first time Percy feels like he belongs - this is a competition, and he is going to win.

Connor and Travis have an array of contraptions and grenades and smoke bombs.

They arrive at the start line at last, for maximum impact. No one is expecting this - they're waiting for Hermes' old chariot, a rickety thing that should be scrap years ago, with any Pegasi they managed to gather in the stables.

They forgot something: Percy exists. It's normal, and Percy it's okay with it in this instance.

The Stymphalian Birds appear - and are countered by his skeletons hitting their spears and swords on their shields. None of them hit him, and the Cabin 11 arrives at first followed by a disgruntled Clarisse after she fought at least 20 skeletons.

Tantalus tries. He really tries to accuse Percy of cheating, but it's pointed out - with approval of Dionysus to boot - that the Demeter kids used their vines to place third and Pollux and Castor did the same to get the fifth spot - just behind the giant contraption that was the Hephaestus chariot.

Clarisse is not happy with the second spot and the silver laurels, but she claps him in the back anyway - Ares is the god of war, not bad sportsmanship.

The Hermes Cabin is in euphoria - Apollo, who placed last, after Aphrodite since they unleashed a dozen doves with a sleeping potion in their faces, it's doing all of the Cabin 11 chores for a month - and they are having a feast of the gods.

Just that night, Percy sacrifices a big pomegranate for Hades and one for Persephone - forgiveness, can you imagine?

He sacrifices to Hermes, as always, for taking the small kids. He sees the joy in their faces - and while Percy is a person reserved to his friends and now he is mostly stoic Perseus, son of Hades, forge gremlin, he always hugs the kids that have nightmares.

It's not what he wanted - it's weird to be touched. It's weirder to have someone want to be next to him. Percy is a cactus, he is prickly. He never smiles. He misses his mom - she would know what to do.

But the little kids trust him. Lou Ellen is unclaimed since the ending of last summer - Percy doesn't know if she has someone to return to.

Those kids at Cabin 11 deserve more then a couple of teens taking care of them. Those kids deserve better, they all deserve better.

There are seven-year-old children there. They barely know how to read. Percy teaches - Annabeth teaches history and myths and Greek, but is he who takes on math to the younger ones, the ones who barely know how to multiply.

He considers staying year-round. They all had Chiron - but it isn't enough. It isn't a family. It isn't. Percy is not their family either - he doesn't overestimate himself - but at least he cares. Not because of their godly blood, but because they are children.

He still hates touch. He is never without his sweaters and gloves. He never smiles at anyone that isn't Annie or Grover or Luke or Alabaster or Ethan.

These days, he only has Annie.

He misses Luke, and he wants to scoop all of these children and take them with him to Kronos, away from the gods. But for what? Another master to fight for?

Was Luke the one who poisoned Thalia? Would he do the same to Percy if Percy denied him?

A mission is issued to go after Golden Fleece - it's in the same place Grover is, it's what Annie and Percy agree on.

Percy is a calculating boy. He deals in numbers, in measures. He is completely oblivious when it comes to feelings and anything that's more subjective than an equation.

But she thinks he likes them. Her and Grover, and those little kids that follow him around sometimes.

She likes the way her yellow hair contrasts with his dark skin, the way his curls flop in his forehead. She likes the specks of green in his eyes. He is her best friend. It's not the love she has for Luke, but it's something akin to admiration.

Percy and Connor are chosen to go on the mission - and Tantalus tries and bullshits some reason for them to go alone, but Percy shakes his head.

"The oracle said, three people"

He is bullshitting them. Tantalus makes him take Clarisse, and Annabeth stays behind.

"I doubt you can get in the sea of monsters without crossing water, eromenoi"

Perseus laughs and laughs, and his eyes are dark as the night without moon. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his soft blue hoodie, and motions for Connor and Clarisse to follow.

Before he leaves, he kisses her cheek softly. It's going to be okay. He will bring Grover back.

He shadow travels the three on them for the closest location the Grey Sisters gave him. It’s difficult, even with a hellhound. He aims for Okeechobee and lands in Miami.

Percy needs to sleep for at least a day, so they use the time to reach their destiny by car. Connor is a very adept child of Hermes, and soon they’re on the road in a red old pickup.

“So Corpse Breath is the hammer, and you’re the polishing stone? Fitting” snorts Clarisse, and just like that, they are bonding.

Percy expects them to trade shitty childhood stories and stupid hobbies or badmouth their deadbeat godly parents, but that was another trip, with very different people.

Clarisse La Rue is sixteen. Her favorite weapon is a javelin or a spear, but she will always prefer hand to hand combat. She loves Led Zeppelin and thinks Silena’s white hijab is the cutest thing in the world. She speaks Spanish - a relief because Percy barely speaks English.

Connor Stoll is fifteen. He prefers gas bombs to grenades - and he does a mean Molotov. He did graffiti until he was twelve. He thinks the Gardner Sisters from the Demeter Cabin are both cute - but Pollux got hot during the winter.

That’s how Percy discovers bisexuality - in a stolen car with a giant hellhound, a girl who has arms larger than his thighs and drives like a grandma and a boy who is two seconds away from spontaneous combustion.

He thinks that explains Luke and Annabeth - but he doesn’t voice it.

Percy doesn’t smile to them for a long time - he knows not even muscular spasms are free of charge.

He stays stoic until they stop to sleep - and Connor has wings in the back of his underwear and its the most ridiculous thing ever.

They reach the city and wander. They do encounter someone - Hecate herself.

She says to Percy it is her last favor - and he knows she already left for Kronos. Luke’s drachma burns in his pocket. She opens a wall of stone - a passageway the Huntresses use sometimes.

“My son waits for you” his quest mates pretend not to hear it - and he pretends nothing is happening. At least Alabaster is okay.

They walk across the cave for what it feels like a day. He is almost sure Hecate has plans to kill them when they find the exit: In an island spa.

A girl comes and analyze them. She looks at them with a kind smile - but Percy knows smiles have prices.

They go meet with the owner: C.C. He doesn't recognize her, but Connor takes one look at those weird guinea pigs and tap Percy's hand twice.

It's a code: Danger.

They are patient. Clarisse is looking at the flimsy girls with their togas and golden braids - she is not going with them.

C.C. Apparently accepts that Clarisse is "more male than a female" like gender is something defined by dresses and makeup.

As soon as the girls are out of the room, Percy taps Clarisse's hand, and she runs her spear through C.C.'s belly. The woman bleeds ichor - but disappears in a cloud of golden sand.

They go through her things for money while Connor explains that he learned about her from Charles. Charles's first mission almost ended up with him as a guinea pig. At least now they know they are in the right place.

Percy takes all her money and their weapons back. He straps as many knives he can throw in his pants and belt: One can never have enough weapons.

They find some hoods and sneak out to the boats on the beach. Connor steals again. Percy hates water: But the Sea of Monsters is beyond Poseidon's direct control, and Percy is going to hole himself up until they get to the next island.

He vomits. He is so seasick, it's not even funny. He hates boats. He hates large bodies of water. Anything bigger than a pool, and he is out.

Clarisse thinks it's funny. She laughs at him - and weirdly, he smiles back a little. The daughter of Ares plays with Blackjack, and they bond.

They are not friends - but they would kill for each other. They find it weird they had no godly intervention from Olympus - but then, Percy remembers he is just a son of Hades, and the Olympians hate him.

He burns food to Hecate. He doesn't burn food to Hermes, who appears in everyone else's quests, but avoid his own son's.

None of them has enough hubris to try and listen to the sirens. Clarisse's fatal flaw is bloodlust and Connor's is arrogance - the idea he can do anything, steal anything, and he'll never be punished.

They don't hear anything. Their next stop is the Isle of Polyphemus.

This time around, Connor is Nobody, Clarisse sneaks under a sheep to save Grover, and Percy gets the Fleece. They try to escape through a passageway that Percy's powers say lead to Haiti, but the cyclops colapses it with a boulder.

Percy hates cyclops.

They shadowtravel. Percy isn't any better at it, and with Grover tagging along, it's pretty obvious what happens, even if he is wearing the Golden Fleece like a giant blanket of strenght.

They end up in Wyoming. Percy sleeps for a week: he is starting to flick, like a ghost, and the magical sheep skin can only help so much. In this week, apparently, they meet the Party Ponies.

Chiron takes Percy in his back to CHB with the Fleece, but his friends stay behind because the centaurs won't let them mount, and they can't keep up on feet.

Clarisse, Connor and Grover meet Luke, Ethan and Alabaster in their way to an airport. It goes badly, but no one dies. They tell him Ethan only has one eye now, and that Luke looks tired and mad.

Percy thinks joining Kronos might be a bad idea. But then, he goes back to Camp, save the tree, and things don't change. The kids are still kids, alone and sad.

Will Solace was claimed. He says he misses Cabin 11, and some of his brothers don't want him to talk to Percy anymore.

It hurts. They try and keep contact for the following week, but peer pressure pushes Will away. Percy doesn't blame him.

The tree spits Thalia, daughter of Poseidon. She has black hair with green accents, green eyes, uses heavy makeup, and looks like a "Hades spawn" should look.

Percy likes her. He has no need for being the leader, and he has Annie and Grover (and Luke, and Alabaster, and Ethan, he thinks). Annie and Luke love her, so she must be amazing. He tries.

Thalia doesn't like him. She hates Hades, the one who killed her. She doesn't trust him or the fact that he never touches anyone.

Perseus tells himself he doesn't care. And suddenly, Thalia goes from "could be a good friend" to "better stay away".

The Camp celebrates Thalia. He is the hero, he brought the Fleece back, he is also a child of the Big Three. But they hate him, just like the kids in school hate him for his skin colour.

Annie has no time for him. Grover goes back to his search. He doesn't think he is going to join Kronos, but the drachma is still in his pocket.

He goes back to his mother, and then, to Yancy.

This summer, he was the hero. But no matter what, he was still the son of Hades.

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inugirl · 5 years ago

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I’ve been working on this since forever. Taking my much needed time since I don’t write as often as I’d like to. But I have had the fist chapter done for a while. I’d just like to get ahead and work on the other ones. Anyways, I thought I’d post it here for White Day since it’s a good opportunity to. @inuyasha-valentines

Fanfiction: Inuyasha

Rating: M (for language, future violence and drugs)

I’m not exactly sure what to call it yet, I’m thinking

Mistaken Identity

Kagome gets mistaken by the mysterious half-demon, Inuyasha, as the woman he was supposed to chauffeur�� to the big boss’s restaurant to discuss certain business. The stubborn dog ends up making matters only worse for himself, and Kagome.

~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~

She would have thought that her life couldn’t get any more strange. Not to say that it was strange to begin with. She was just an average Japanese college student trying to get her degree. She wanted to make a name for herself as a reliable pediatrician. She wasn’t currently dating and worked part time at a coffee shop to not rely on her mother as much. That’s all. Nothing made her different than others so for the life of her she had no idea how she ended up in this mess. After all, she only wanted to go to the library to return a book.

“Look, I don’t have time for this.” Kagome, a first year in university expressed. “I just need to return these books in that slot over there.” She pointed to the wall of the library the stranger was leaning on, a return slot for books after hours. She wasn’t sure what to think. Was he some pervert? A part of the Yakuza? She quickly glanced down at her attire, worried that it might have sent some unwanted attention. A simple halter blue dress that ended just above her knees, brown flats and her small yellow side purse. Her ink black hair was down and wavy and she wore little make up. All Kagome could do was wonder how her clothing was asking for trouble. She looked back at him, defiance in her eyes. ‘I will not let him have his way.’

“Look, you’re taking this cosplay thing to a whole different level if you start harassing people just for fun. This isn’t funny.” Kagome spoke loudly to him and prayed she sounded as serious and intimidating as she thought she did.

Although the mysterious man before her was leaning against a wall, he was obviously tall. His strange yet attractive long white hair complemented his slightly tanned tone against the black and white suit he was wearing; his muscular build noticeable. His eyes were a hypnotizing amber gold and ears that resembled that of a dogs were perched atop his head. Kagome was indeed in fear for her safety, but the attractiveness this man gave, she had an odd fantasy of following him.

With a malicious fanged grin plastering his face, he stayed in his spot, leaned against the very wall she was pointing at.

“Look here girl, I was sent to get you okay? It’s not my fault if you didn’t get the memo.” His clawed hands made their way to the air, in a sort of ‘I don’t care’ maneuver.

Kagome could only glare at the man before her. Her blue-gray eyes trying to pierce through this odd persona.

‘I swear, this is like some plot of a dumb show or something. It’s not like everyday a handsome man with animalistic qualities bumps into you…the eyes could easily be contacts...some really well made contacts, and his hair could be professionally dyed or a wig...but those ears on top of his head, they just flicked like a dog’s...how did he do that…’

Realizing that she’d been silent for a little too long she squared her shoulders and lifted her head to keep her aggressive front.

“And just who sent you?”

The odd man simply rolled his eyes and pushed himself off of the wall.

“Don’t be stupid. Come on, we don’t have time for this.” He walked towards Kagome, reaching for her arm. “You of all people should know he isn’t a patient man.”

“Stop! Don’t touch me! Get away!” She flinched back walking backwards as fast as she could without tripping, keeping her eyes trained on the man. He looked surprised and then angry.

“Look. We don’t have time for this shit. Naraku sent me to get you and now you’re backing down on a meeting you called for?” He looked very angry indeed. His thick black eyebrows, which beautifully contrasted his hair, furrowed deeply, the grin he had a while ago replaced with a scowl.

“Naraku…who? I don’t know a Naraku! I didn’t call for a meeting! I’m just a college student! Just let me be that!” Kagome screamed at him. She looked around frantically, trying to find anyone to help her. It was dark out, but only nearing nine thirty at night. The summer months would be arriving soon. How could there be no people nearby? Not even a security guard!

‘I don’t need some ridiculous cartoon adventure! My life is stressful enough as it is! I’m already late turning in this book!’ Kagome quickly looked to the strange yet impossibly gorgeous man before her, then down to her book in her hand. ‘Crap! This is exactly like a plot to a kid’s show!’

“This is a prank show, isn’t it? I’m being pranked in some outrageous prank show. It has to be, right?” Kagome’s chest heaved deeply with every word. She dropped her books, now forgotten she placed her free hands to her chest. She was having a hard time breathing. Her chest was starting to hurt and with every breath she took, she felt like she was missing it somehow.

Falling to her knees Kagome did little to get away from the fastly approaching stranger. He kneeled in front of her, his anger now gone. He looked confused and worried, his ears going flat against his head. He reached out again for her, only slower. Kagome tried to scramble away from him, her hand still to her chest while the other aided her rear against the ground.

“No. Please.” Kagome heaved, sweat was covering her flushed face and her blue-gray eyes holding unfallen tears. She closed her eyes to focus on her breathing, the pooled tears finally falling. ‘One, two, three. One, two, three.’ Her eyes still closed, Kagome felt the man grab her arms. His hands were rough, but his touch wasn’t. His cool hands were welcoming against her ever growing hot skin.

“Hey come on, what’s going on? What’s happening?” He was confused, she was yelling at him like she didn’t know what was going on. Did he really have the wrong girl? He continued to watch her struggle for air. He adjusted himself to her. Kneeling behind her to keep her sitting up and held her shoulders.

The man lowly uttered a growl of annoyance. Noticing her purse he reached into it, grabbing out her wallet and taking out her identification card.

There it was, Kagome Higurashi, 24 years old.

“Fuck. I do have the wrong girl.” He put the ID card down and held her again, examining her closer than he was able to before. She continued to exhale heavy and long breaths and her skin felt hot to his touch. Looking down he noticed her staring up at him. Her eyes were dark, she was looking through her thick lashes and he was staring back.

“I’m,” her voice horsley low, “I’m so sore.” Kagome tried to hug her arms around herself but failed. “I’m so tired.” She closed her eyes and let her exhaustion take over, her body limp in his grasp and her breathing evening out.

“Oh fuck me. I really screwed up.” Growling to himself, the handsome stranger looked back at her ID card for her address. Rolling his eyes he put her items back in her purse and closed it. Gently, he picked her up in his arms. Her own arms falling limp to her exposed side while the other half was warmly close against him. Looking around him to make sure he had all of her things he noticed her fallen book.

‘She said she wanted to return it to the library.’ He looked back to the wall he was leaning on only a few meters away. ‘Well, it’s the least I could do I guess.’

Carefully, he placed her back on the floor and picked up her book to return it. He put the book through the return slot and laid his head against the cold brick wall. He let out an annoyed sighed.

“How did I fuck up this badly?” He eyed the unconscious girl on the ground. Now understanding that she wasn’t the girl he was looking for she looked so vulnerable on the ground. ‘And that’s my fault. I freaked her out so much I gave her a damn panic attack.’ The man winced to himself and made his way to Kagome. Picking her off the ground again he lifted her in his arms with ease and began walking the way she came from.

‘I’m gonna fucking hear it now too. ‘Stupid Inuyasha, you had one job! Good for nothing half-breed!’ ’ Inuyasha mentally mimicked his higher ups already knowing what was going to be said when he came back from his failed mission.

“I can’t let them know about her though, they may try to kill her if they know she saw me outside of my disguise.” He suddenly stopped and looked around him. Still not sensing or smelling anyone, a small bundle of nerves grew deep in his belly.

“Shit. It would look very suspicious if I just walk around with her like this. I don’t need anymore trouble.” He looked around and walked to the closest building, a parking structure. With grace and precision he jumped high into the air landing atop of the structure and began running from rooftop to rooftop. Already very familiar and acquainted with the city, he knew where to go from the address on her identification card.

After scaling each necessary building with hardly any required effort, Inuyasha landed on the rooftop of her apartment. He looked down to the girl in his arms. She hadn’t stirred once during the run and that worried him. He uttered a low growl as he made his way to the roofs edge and looked down. The apartment complex wasn’t all that extravagant, a very typical building with neighbors in between her apartment. Cautious to not be seen by any neighbors, Inuyasha placed Kagome gently on the roof of her building and went into her small purse and easily found her house keys. He went down to her door first to unlock it and put the keys in his pocket before carrying her down with him. Upon entering her living space Inuyasha couldn’t help but to be engulfed by her smell. It was everywhere.

The smell was difficult to describe in one word, but he knew it would engrave itself into his brain. The intoxicating smell was emanating from every corner of the room and as if his mind allowed him to, he suddenly remembered the situation he was in. He quickly closed the front door and made his way past the entry and into her living space. Looking around to his left a small kitchen and to his right a door. He opened it expecting her bedroom yet was greeted with a suffocating small bathroom. Grunting he closed the door back and made his way to the living room, the girl still in tow in his arms.

“Is this where she lives?” He looked around the room. A small t.v. on a short bookshelf and a rolled futon were tucked nicely in a corner. A rectangular small coffee table which he could only guess doubled as her dining table was off center below her one large window. And the only average size furnishings he could see was a tall dresser and a study desk next to it. Other than her desk decorated with open books, a cup of writing utensils and a lamp, the rest of her home was relatively clean.

He placed her gently on the floor and walked towards her futon and began rolling it out.

“Ya know, this place is tiny as hell. How do you even live like this?” Inuyasha wasn’t expecting an answer and was happy to not surprisingly hear one back. He picked her up and placed her on her futon, her weight pushing against the pillows and mat made her captivating sent valley up into his nose. He grunted, he wasn’t sure why she smelled so amazing to him, but it was really starting to get on his nerves. Wanting to leave even faster he quickly took off her shoes and grabbed her purse. He placed her purse on her desk chair, not really knowing where it would go and placed her shoes at the door entryway. Making sure to lock the lock on the doorknob, he left her, hoping she’d believe their encounter to be only a dream.

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #fan fic #fanfic #fanfiction #inuyasha white day #white day #inufic #inuyasha white day 2020

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secret-engima · 5 years ago

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Random Breathe (the Dawn Rises) Chocobro HCs:

I still haven’t decided where they wind up because I’m still wading through the early stages of a Realm Reborn cutscene wise but like-

-Prompto is a Stress. Where is he, why is he twenty again, where are his brothers, WHY ARE THOSE PEOPLE CHIBI ELVES. WHY ARE THOSE PEOPLE BIG ELVES. WHY DO THOSE PEOPLE HAVE CAT EARS AND TAILS.

-WHY DOES HE HAVE CAT EARS AND A TAIL.

-Prompto has no idea how to Miqo’te. He’s always been more of a dog person than a cat person someone help him. Why tail. Why tail move. No tail stop moving. Go away tail.

-The sensation of his ears moving in reaction to the situation and sounds and his emotions is SO WEIRD. STOP THAT.

-Why are sun naps a thing. That’s Noctis’s thing not his. Body stop wanting to nap in EVERY SINGLE SUNNY PATCH IN EXISTENCE.

-Meets up with Gladio first and Cries So Hard. Finally someone familiar and safe. Someone who understands his hatred of moving ears.

-It’s a testament to his relief that he does not immediately tease Gladio for his big brown bunny years.

...

-Gladio would like to know who he has to murder for this- this UTTER NONSENSE. WHY IS HE TWENTY AGAIN. WHY ARE THERE A BUNCH OF FANTASY RACES WANDERING AROUND.

-WHY. DOES. HE. HAVE. BUNNY. EARS.

-Not to mention the claws on his hands and feet and the fact that his legs feel like freaking springs and he has to walk on his FREAKING TOES now because this body digitigrade and not plantigrade.

-Relearning how to walk and run with spring-loaded legs was fun. NOT.

-Why is the world so loud now. It’s giving him a perpetual headache. Oh yea he has bunny ears now THANKS LIFE.

-People quickly learn not to make fun of the wandering male Viera. Because Gladiolus will Mess You Up for stress relief given half the chance. Don’t tempt him.

-Finds Prompto by complete accident, is totally not crying just as hard as Prompto is as they hug (he totally is, he’s just quiet about rather than loud, yowling sobs like Prompto).

-Refrains from teasing Prompto over his fluffy cat tail and ears only because he knows that will mean Prompto has free rein to comment on his stupid bunny ears.

-Does give in to the urge to scratch Prompto behind his ears, because Cat Ears, and is rewarded with purring only for Prompto to freak out over the purring.

-I feel like at some point Gladio and Thancred meet. Either before or after reuniting with Noctis, and Gladio dubs Thancred “Pretty Boy”. Thancred just grins and says “Why thank you!” But internally he’s a little miffed because excuse you. He’s not the one with the floofy bunny ears. Pot meet kettle.

...

-Ignis knows instantly that his body has been changed. He’s blind (even if his body is regressed back to twenty) and his survival has long relied on his ability to sense his surroundings and HIMSELF.

-Who dared to give him scales. And a tail. and HORNS. What is he? Some kind of terrible devil cosplay? Someone will be stabbed for this.

-As soon as he figures out where he is and where his remaining brothers are. And how to walk without getting his tail tangled around his knees.

-It takes him a while to figure out that OTHER people are just as weird looking, at first avoids civilization as much as possible for fear of being called a daemon. But ... nobody who DOES spot him really comments on his new appearance, more focused on him being blind, and sometimes people call him “Au Ra” and he doesn’t know why. Eventually he realizes that some people who sound like adults have their voices and movements coming from child height/proportions and surely there aren't THAT many people with dwarfism are there? He thought that was a rare genetics thing. Also some people are freakishly tall and sound like they have long teeth and he’s very sure he’s heard swishing tails more than a few times not counting his own so...

-Oh. Oh-ah.

-Fantasy races. Au Ra must be whatever he looks like now.

-Lovely.

-What he wouldn’t give to have a mirror and be able to use it again.

-Quickly gains a reputation as the blind Raen Au Ra who can complete any job despite his blindness (excuse you blind people are hardly helpless stop acting like that’s a big deal). Also gains a reputation for his frosty demeanor but equal manners to all (hard to be speciest when you DON’T KNOW what the other species are).

-Unlike Gladio and Prompto, who have the worst time figuring out how to groom their ears and tend to just- leave them alone till the dirt drives them bonkers, as soon as his scales start itching Ignis is on the warpath of self care. He experiments and hurts himself more than a few times pulling too hard on a scale not ready to shed, but he figures out the gist of it really fast. Can’t do a complete grooming because he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing and he can’t see his own progress, but its better than nothing.

-Has no idea about horn polish though, he just wipes them down with wash clothes and calls it good.

-Is eventually picked up by another Au Ra who teaches him how to Au Ra.

-Is the first to realize that him being able to use armiger and magic is NOT just because this world lets everyone use magic and magic is moldable so its just fitting what they know best (aka Prompto’s and Gladio’s theory) but that he is ACTUALLY USING ARMIGER.

-He can only do that if the person who gave him that magic is still alive.

-NOCTIS IS ALIVE.

-HE’S COMING NOCTIS.

-HE MAY BE BLIND AND UTTERLY LOST IN THIS STRANGE LAND BUT HE WILL FIND YOU. JUST WATCH HIM. DON’T YOU DARE DIE AGAIN WHEREVER YOU ARE. IGNIS IS COMING FOR YOU.

-Is it any surprise that Ignis is the first one to reunite with Noctis? There are many tears. The tears get even worse when they later find Gladio and Prompto.

#Secret Engima Rambles #Breathe (the Dawn Rises) verse #chocobros #ffxiv #ffxv

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lethesomething · 8 years ago

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Let’s do a tag thing

Hello, hi, I was tagged by @littlecrow-headcanons. Thank you!

10 random facts about myself:

I own a cat bed shaped like a shark and it is my fondest purchase.

Technically, I was taught how to belly dance, though I only know like two moves.

Also on my list of weird skills: fencing and stage fencing, which are completely different. One entails very formally going backwards and forwards. With the other you get to swing from chandeliers while reciting witticisms (note: I have personally never swung from any chandeliers).

One time I got lost in a bog in Scotland and my friend and I spent the entire afternoon making morbid jokes about bog bodies. It is still one of my favourite adventure stories.

Just being in the presence of chocolate makes me want it, which is annoying because I live in Chocolate Country.

I’m a fairly polite and calm person, except when playing video games (at which point I scream barely coherent gibberish and also very coherent insults at my screen).

I have a hard time keeping plants alive.

Spiders freak me the hell out and I will throw cat treats at them (to summon the cat, not to, uh, bludgeon them with treats).

When desperate, I will eat Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

I wrote my graduating thesis on the meta narrative in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. This topic was picked solely on the basis that it gave me an excuse to read a lot of Terry Pratchett.

5 OTPS/SHIPS:

Sousuke / Rin (Free) is the first ship that ever sailed for me and the reason I’m in this mess

Mustang / Hawkeye (Full Metal Alchemist)

Kuroo / Anyone (Haikyuu)

Bakugou / Kirishima / Kaminari (Boku no Hero Academia): This is entirely @franeridart ’s fault

Atsushi / Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Birb’s 11 Questions:

One dish you know you can prepare no matter what? Pasta with some kind of tomato sauce. Mostly because I always have the basic ingredients in a pantry somewhere.

One musical artist you discovered in the past year?

youtube

One film you wish you could’ve starred in? And why? Lord of the Rings, because the whole thing feels like some kind of cosplay summer camp and it looks like it would have been a blast to be in it.

One quality you look for in close friends/partners? Loyalty: the willingness to accept who someone is and to really get to know them

One talent you wish you could have and one talent you’d offer to trade it for? What I want: casual conversation skill, like the ability to just go up to people, start a conversation and keep it going What you can have: I have an uncanny amount of spacial awareness when in cities. You can drop me in an unknown city and I’ll find my way, even without a map. This is a fairly useless skill, since most cities also have 4G.

One fictional character you’d take along on a road trip? I have a feeling taking Bokuto Koutaro anywhere would lead to Shenanigans and I’m down for that.

One person that really inspired you in your life? Can I say my mom? Probably my mom. She’s badass.

One fictional character you’d love to have over for dinner? Not to go all goth on you, but Neil Gaiman’s Death. Because she’s canonically a super fun and friendly person, and also she probably has a ton of cool stories to tell.

One fictional character you’d want to have as your partner in crime – literally? Chuuya Nakahara. If I’m going to become a gangster, I’m going all the way.

One thing you’d wish for if you saw a shooting star right now? This is gonna sound super sappy but I find it very hard to find someone that loves me in the same way, and at the same time, that I love them. That would be a handy thing.

One thing that is always in your bag/pocket? I literally have a life sustaining kit with me at all times: phone, flashlight, battery pack, basic medicines, water and some kind of cake/cookie.

My 11 questions

Which piece of fiction do you wish you’d written, and why?

Coffee or tea?

What’s your favourite game of all time and why?

If you could have any kind of hairdo, what would it be?

Your de-stress method of choice?

Favourite guilty pleasure? That book, film of album that you really love but kinda have to hide when the cool people come over?

Biggest anime crush?

Which dish or recipe do you wish you knew how to prepare flawlessly?

Chinese or western horoscope?

Is there a song that inspired you in life? If so which one?

Is there a historic figure you’d like to have coffee with? Who?

I’m tagging @leeva-z-kai, @bittersweetoranges and @mistersunshinesprinkles because I know they won’t mind. And @fangmich and @atsushihimuro because these people are all over my feed and I have no idea who they are but I’m intrigued.

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finsterhund · 5 years ago

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Alright on to less creepy topics

The windbreaker is incredible. Fits perfectly, super lightweight to the point that I can actually wear it in the house. A bit sad it isn’t the most color-block thing out there but it’s not like I’m ever going to find the legendary hoodie.

It’s my birthday in a week and although there’s not much to do during this quarantine mess I’m still planning some stuff.

I’m bordering on wanting to do things outside and realizing that the people demanding everything reopen are being unsafe. This could have been avoided if we had better preventative measures in the first place which I think is what annoys me so much. In North America there’s like, not enough concern regarding disease and infection. It’s like, people don’t stay home when they’re sick, things are poorly sanitized, etc.

In my opinion the preventative measures in place at stores and businesses still open right now should be done all the time. Six feet apart lines, better access to hand sanitizer at the entrances to stores, cleaning the buses more regularly. When this is over and they don’t change anything and there ends up being a second wave it’ll be very frustrating.

It’s been a while since I first got the window fan. It’s absolutely incredible. Room is never too hot again. Great investment for sure.

Similarly it’s time for an update on the medicine test. Yes, taking extra pain medicine does help me fall asleep faster. However I don’t stay asleep for any longer which means I’ll wake up at 4AM extremely sore and have to take more pain medicine to try and go back to sleep.

I’m seriously thinking me and Fishy make a forum. Wish it could be an art social media site but they don’t have prebuilt templates for that. Of course the forum will be invite-only to prevent spam but I’m not going to like, hide it from everyone. Just enough that it doesn’t get bot-swarmed like the last time.

It’s weird how incompetent web design keeps driving me back to tumblr of all places. Because while tumblr web developers are incompetent it’s extremely easy to circumvent the things they do with xkit. Too bad the algorithm is so bad though.

Also I spoke about this on twitter but it’s locked to avoid random people from commenting on my post asking friends about commissions (I respect the hustle but leave me alone):

Cayden’s last name. Thinking Sommerfeld. Since he’s not named Andrew it’s appropriate to give him a different surname too. Just in general it’s a good idea. I don’t make it public. It’s just something I share with friends. So I don’t see why Cayden would have it.

Cayden Sommerfeld has a good ring to it. I’m always so bad at coming up with human names.

Unfortunately not much new is happening today other than Weaboo Smackdown 2020 because of the damn quarantine.

I just feel the need to stress that can we please make sure this never happens again? How many plagues have there been in recorded history now? People just need to stop traveling when sick and practicing proper hygiene.

I haven’t gone and done something fun that wasn’t chores or getting food since March. I mean I got to go to the thrift store that’s definitely cool but I miss conventions and cosplaying. I’m also pretty sad that friends were planning to visit and that got cancelled. 2020 was the year everything was going to get better but instead it’s a year of rapidly spreading disease.

I’m still getting used to the higher prazosin. I definitely think it messes with my fight or flight reflex. It’s not as big of an impact as when I first started taking it though. Wish I could go back to the good night sleep DOGS LOVE US serotonin spike from that morning.

Also my friend says that fluctuating weight is a stress thing. Which explains why despite stress eating and barely going outside my weight took a plummet this month. Apparently it’s pretty unhealthy but I mean I am seeing the doctor in a couple weeks so it’s not the end of the world.

I’m so freaking bored though. Like I just wish we could all get into a discord voice call or sumthin. Just like, human contact would be nice. Pretty sure my speech impediment is lapsing back due to how little reason I have to speak aloud. I try to practice but it feels insane to talk to yourself just so that you pronounce words properly.

One strange positive (kinda) is that I’m getting a lot more access to early memories now. Don’t know if it’s the quarantine or my meds or the will of Spot, but for whatever reason I’m actually able to remember stuff and I’m not getting hit by traumatic stuff left and right for it. Might be the prazosin.

I can’t remember what I posted to you guys and what I didn’t so sorry if I’m repeating some things.

#text post #long post

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haeroniel-doliet · 7 years ago

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dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more.

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya.

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else.

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah.

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds.... ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other.

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks)

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!) anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until. yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...) ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world�� ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess)

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade.

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh.

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.)

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me) but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that....

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that.

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it- idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk.

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first) i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” )

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it.

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is?

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.

#tf when youre your own therapist #hah yeah thanks tumblr for being my digital diary #cringey enough and private enough it may as well never be read by anyone #but still if some crazy dumbass read it all theyd know me all too god damn well #but its not like...anyone ive mentioned will ever fucking read it. even consider to #aka #if you stumble past this #i guess you can assume its not abt you #ugh #this didnt even help that much #time to try option c #ignore everything and numb it with some rad youtbe videos for another 4 hrs and crash asleep at 5 am and everything continues to be bad #but like bad tomorrow #sorry this was a vent post #a very long one over 6000 words #i am SO sorry if youre on mobile and the readmore didnt work

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fish-nibbler · 8 years ago

Note

Didn't read them all but you asked for is so- 1-100 and 1-44 >:3 Also *hugs*

1. What have you eaten today? Uh.. Nothing.. and it’s 5:00 pm

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? My last kiss was with my ex.. awhile a go, before things changed.. and yeah, it was awesome. I hope I can do that with someone again soon

3. What color shoes did you last wear? Black and white converse

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? I haven’t really laughed very hard lately.. but my friend Kat usually gets me to laugh the hardest.

5. What is your favorite scent? Oooo.. I have a few. Lavender, Vanilla, the scent after it rains, fresh linen

6. What is your favorite season? Why? Probably Fall.. It’s not raining all the time, it’s pretty nice out temperature wise(at least before it starts snowing) and the colours of the leaves are really pretty.

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? I haven’t done either in years

8. What color are your nails? uh… normal colour? I haven’t painted my nails in a while

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? A tiny star by my eye

10. What is something you find romantic? I haven’t really been able to be in a relationship where anything was “romantic”.. most of my relationships don’t last more than a week and the only one that lasted more than a month is the one where I was being abused.. so.. I don’t really know what I’d consider “romantic”.. maybe stuff like going out to dinners or sitting in a park and looking at the stars.

11. Are you happy? No

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? I’m pretty broken over my last relationship - I really wanted to have a chance with her but she’s changed a lot.. and she was probably waaay out of my league anyways..

13. Dogs or Cats? Cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? The forest

15. What is your style? Yoga pants, flannel, baggy sweatshirts, mens/baggy t-shirts, hoodies, leather jackets… I don’t really have a “style” .. I don’t think

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Being with/ dating one of my crushes.. but uh.. that would be assuming this is a different universe where she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

17. Are you in a relationship or single? Single..

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Honestly.. After the stuff I just went through with who is now my ex.. I don’t really know.. I feel sorta numb right now. When I said I wanted to be with one of my crushes it’s because I never really got over her after her and I were together.. but right now I don’t know how I feel towards anyone.. or why I like anyone.

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? *cough* Jared Padalecki

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? My ex..

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? I wasted it with some asshat who thought it was a good idea to basically use me as some kind of servant and who thought it would be a good idea to try to make me feel like my depression wasn’t a real thing and she made me think that I was just some kind of freak for always being sad. Her and I don’t talk anymore.

22. Have you recently made any big decisions? Kind of?

23. Were you ever in a school play? Yeah, when I was really little I had to go to a private christian school and it was pretty much required that we participated in plays and reenactments for the church.

24. What movie would you use to describe your life? I don’t think there is one..

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? I don’t know.. I think there are a lot of smaller things that I want to do. Such as, I really want to get into cosplay.. but the only person who could help me get into cosplay is probably starting to hate my guts(despite what she says) and probably doesn’t want anything to do with me.. so..

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” I wish I had someone with whom I could share my life and my love.

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? Drama. God the drama is terrible.. and the second is probably how easy some women are to wanting to fight.

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? The fact that I swear half the guys at my school either don’t know how to shower or they don’t know how to pull up their pants or, lets see.. guys in my school are always starting fights or they don’t know how to pull their damn pants up or- … lets just say theirs a lot.

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? Nothing. Nothing good happened this week.30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? My ex, my cousins who have killed themselves bc they were gay and my family couldn’t accept them, realizing how alone I am because I’m always begging people to spend time with me, realizing that I’m a disappointment to my family, realizing that no one will ever love me in any sense of a relationship.. there’s a lot that makes me sad.

31. How long was your longest relationship? I think 10 months? Almost a year - but the only reason it lasted that long is because she was abusive and was using me.32. Have you ever been in love? Yeah.. then within a month I had my heart torn out, shown to me and then crushed with a tiny hammer. Let’s just say I tried to kill myself after..

33. Are you currently in love? I don’t know..

34. Why did your last relationship end? Because I’m a fucking screw up and I messed everything up. It’s completely my fault.

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? I’m not wearing anything right now.

36. When was the last time you cried and why? Earlier today because I hate myself for everything I did to my ex.

37. Name someone pretty. @frozen–roses @yurifreak15 @aerllette

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? A box of chocolates, I stuffy elephant and some self-hatred.

39. Do you get jealous easily? Kinda… But the sad kind of jealousy where I just feel really lonely.

40. Have you ever been cheated on? Probably.

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? Yeh

42. Ever had detention? Nope

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? Countryside, there are less lights out there to block the stars

44. What do people call you? Smol, Liz, shorty

45. What was the last book you read? City of Bones

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? Heck I don’t even know. On a scale of 1-10 probably a 13

47. What kind of music do you listen to? All kinds.. except country

48. How tall are you? 5ft(152.4 cm)

49. Do you like kids? Noooooooo

50. Favorite fruits? Tomatoes, watermelon

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? Neither, I swear yoga pants

52. What’s your earliest memory? I don’t know right now..

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? HA I wish

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

55. Do you have a collection of anything? No.. My mom made me throw them away

56. Do you save money or spend it? Save

57. What would your dream house be like? Small and cozy

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? Idiots. Lying. Breaking promises. Animal abuse. Ruining/touching other people’s art projects without permission.

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? I don’t know..

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Fuck it, save the dog, I can hope that if my boss has a heart he’ll let me go this time.61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) I don’t tell many people that I’m dying; b) I’d try to have fun with people, maybe try drugs, maybe try drinking and I would for sure have sex with someone.. ooo, or make it interesting and with a few people..hmm; c) I don’t think I would be afraid, I think I would just be anxious

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love.

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? OOOoo!! Germany! Or Japan!!

64. Do you like the beach? Eh.. kinda

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? Technically yes.. but it was after I was guilt tripped into having sex with them and had a panic attack during.. it was pretty scarring..

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! I do have one! My middle name is Patricia

67. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, all the time

68. Describe your hair. Short, really soft and fluffy

69. What is the meaning of life. 42

70. What is your ideal partner like? Taller than me, definitely the more dom of the relationship, really nice and patient… typical stuff

71. Do you want to get married? Yeh!

72. Do you want to have kids? Nooooo

73. Like or dislike your family? I like a couple people.. I dislike most of them.

74. Are you Chunky or Slim? Sorta in between

75. Would you consider yourself smart? No

76. What would you change about your life? Almost everything..

77. Religious or Not? Nope

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Shit I don’t know who’d I be with but I’d hope I’d have a sweet night with one of those hot women.

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? It might be.. I don’t know.. she’d probably just avoid me..

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? No..

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Falling asleep in their arms..

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Yes..

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? Yeah.. I find it really calming

84. Do you like bubble baths?Yes!

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? Yeah, but only for a burnt out tail light

86. Have you ever danced in the rain? Nope

87. Do you trust anyone with your life? Eh.. I don’t know.. Sort of lost that trust when I told people I wanted to kill myself and they laughed at me..

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? “Why am I such a screw up?”

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) Germany, England, Canada, Ireland, Iceland, Japan, California, Washington DC(again), Poland, and maybe Texas

90. How was your day today? Eh.. It sucked..

91. Play an instrument? I play the flute, and I’m trying to learn how to play the piano

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. No. Nope. Not doing it.

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Kinda, I mean.. I believe there’s something else out there.

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? No.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? Depends on if you are able to piss me off.

96. When are you vulnerable? Always.

97. How much free time do you have? A lot

98. Do you like to go hiking? Yeah! I just don’t always get to and I usually come home covered in ticks..

99. Odd or Even Numbers? Both?

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? Sure! I’d be willing to try.

1. Any scars? Many

2. Self harmed? Yes

3. Crush? Lets not talk about it anymore

4. Kissed anyone? Yes

5. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

6. Someone you hate? My abusive ex

7. Best Friends? Yeh

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? I wish

9. What’s your dream job? Uhh.. I don’t know

10. Ever been in love? Yeah.. It didn’t end well.

11. Last time you cried? Today

12. Favorite color? Lavender, shades of blue

13. Height? 5ft

14. Birthday? April 13th

15. Eye color? Blue and Grey

16. Hair color? Brown

17. What do you love? Snuggles.

18. Obsession? ...uhhh.. I dunno..

19. If you had one wish, what would it be? To be loved

20. Do you love someone? My ex.. Though I know I need to get over her..

21. Kiss or hug? Depends on who you are

22. Nicknames people call you? Liz, Smol, Shorty, ..cute

23. Favorite song? Lost Boy

24. Favorite band? Panic! At the Disco

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? One of my exes(not the most resent)

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? The last person I dated.. she was the best thing that had ever happened to me..

27. Something you would change about yourself? Everything

28. Ever dated someone? Yeah

29. Worst mistake? There are a lot..

30. Watch the movie or read the book? Both

31. Ever had a heartbreak? Yeah

32. Favorite show? Right now: Archer.

33. Best day of your life? I dunno..

34. Any talents? Uh...

35. Do you wish you could ever start over? Yes

36. Any bad habits? Cutting..

37. Ever had a near death experience? Probably a few

38. Someone I can tell anything to? My best friend, Elena

39. Ever lost a loved one? A lot..

40. Do you believe in love? Yes

41. Someone you hate/Dislike? again, one of my exes. She was a manipulative asshat who guilt tripped me into having sex with her and then laughing when she hurt me.

42. Are you okay? No.

43. Relationship status? Single

44. Selfie? I’ll post one later when I have better lighting

#answering asks #this took forever but it was totally worth it #aerllette

0 notes

disneydreamlights · 8 years ago

Note

Can you do the randomizer for me too? I want Ray/Sera, Ray/AK, Ami/Jaden, um... Hilda/N, Island Trio, and Roxas/Namine. owo

Course. XD

Ray/Sera:

5. Who usually has nightmares?

...Both do. Ray’s are worse, but Sera has a worse reaction to them because Ray’s at least kind of used to it.

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

Ray makes coffee, if Sera can’t get a super ridiculously sweetened beverage, she just goes for tea and makes that herself when Ray won’t. (She still adds honey to that though.)

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

Sera’s a mush who loves romance movies, I like the idea of Ray hating horror movies because he likes to pretend he’s not scared to seem tough but the truth is he’s terrified.

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Let’s be real for a second, Sera’s surprisingly brave and has few fears, Ray’s probably just all bravado, but because of that nobody thinks he’s scared. So neither.

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

Sera being in Ray’s clothes just sounds adorable to me. And idk if they’re the same size but I’ll assume so just so I can have the image of Ray in Sera’s dress in my head.

29. Who is the better cook?

To be honest, I don’t think Ray can cook and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if he lived off poptarts, so I mean...it’s gotta be Sera.

46. Who has the longer food order?

Neither, I don’t see Ray bothering with long food orders and Sera’s not a very picky eater, so...

48. Who loses stuff?

So Ray lives in a mess and Sera’s an overly clean person so likely what happens is Sera is cleaning up so she can find things and Ray’s organized mess of a life gets disorganized with everything clean so either he makes it a mess or loses things and this cycle repeats.

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

Sera drives, Ray doesn’t have the patience for traffic and that makes him not a very safe one, so Sera just...doesn’t let him drive. owo’

Ray/AK

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

AK loves to cuddle but goddammit AK stop stealing the blankets while you do it you’re leaving Ray to freeze.

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

AK has really deep thoughts midday, Ray gets sleep drunk in the middle of an all night anime marathon during the day with AK and starts having deep thoughts then.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

I don’t know the heights of either of these ocs. Shit. owo’

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

...Can I say they’re both dog people? Please? Kitsunes are close enough to dogs, right?

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

AK steals Ray’s stuff all the time, but not so she can wear it. No, she’s doing it to get him into a cosplay of some kind. Which probably belongs to AK.

29. Who is the better cook?

...After much deliberating I’ve decided that neither of these two can cook and they probably order in food a lot or bug Sera to make them something. owo’

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

“If lost return to Ray.” “I am Ray.”

36. Who is the social media addict?

AK runs about five different anime social media pages and is constantly on them trying to find new animes.

38. Who likes to star gaze?

...Honestly neither, Sera probably convinces one of them to try it once, but I don’t think they spend very long looking at stars.

50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

...AK. XD

Jaden/Ami

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

Ami doesn’t even think about it tbh, she just sleeps in her underwear or witches outfit nine times out of ten. Not sure about Jaden though I feel like he’s a pajama guy.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Ami is probably smol, Jaden is tol.

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

Ami’s obsessed with fashion and looking good, if that counts as an obsession. XD

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

I’d say they’re probably about equal to be honest, but since Ami can have a tendency to ramble, she’s probably a bit more of a talker. XD

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

Most of the time Ami steals Jaden’s clothes, but sometimes she just takes her witch hat and plops it on his head.

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

Personally, I think it depends on the holidays, but Ami goes way way way way way overboard on Halloween and Christmas, not so much anything else, but still.

36. Who is the social media addict?

Ami spends hours on social media stop her please get her away from the computer Jaden.

42. Who is the neat freak?

If either of these two, it’d have to be Jaden, Ami isn’t very good at being neat at all. owo’

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Jaden wins them for Ami, I think, or at least he tries to, and Ami uses some spells to make sure he can. XD

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

Ami: I’ll have a pumpkin spice latte with two cups of sugar and also a shot of gingerbread if you can add it in, and lost of whipped cream on top.” I think she has the most complex order. owo’

Ferriswheelshipping:

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

N’s always up really early for some reason, Touko’s not up super late, but she is more of a night owl than N.

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

N’s already up earlier than her, so when he decides he wants to talk to Touko and she’s still asleep, he just kisses her awake.

5. Who usually has nightmares?

N gets super bad nightmares involving Ghetsis most of the time, some of them include Ghetsis convincing Touko of his view point, those really suck.

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

I had to give this a lot of thought, but Touko’s probably incredibly laid back, so N is more likely to sweat the small stuff.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Touko’s not smol but N is so tol he makes her smol. XD

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

N is more scared of stuff than Touko, but neither are particularly scaredy cats.

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

N asks her out first, Touko’s actually really surprised he does it, but she accepts because she did end up searching the world for him. owo’

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

“If lost return to Touko” “I am Touko”

38. Who likes to star gaze?

N is a stargazer, make no question about that. He has all the stars and their positions memorized for the season, so he can navigate using them too.

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

Touko, N won’t even touch the stuff to drink coffee, so she wins by default. XD

SoRiKai

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

Riku wears pajamas, so does Kairi. Sora strips down to his underwear because he can’t sleep any other way.

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

Kairi loves horror movies, Sora however does not, Riku mostly serves as the mediator when it comes to picking movies and suggests things both of them will like that won’t result in Sora scared shitless.

15. Who is scared of the dark?

...Riku gets horrified a lot in the dark, not because he’s scared of the dark per se, but because when he’s in a bad place it most actively reminds him of the darkness.

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

So after all this is over all three of them get super scared by thunderstorms because what if it means darkness is back and somebody’s about to destroy the islands again. ;w;

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

“If lost return to Kairi.” “I am Kairi.” Sora and Kairi force Riku to wear it. XD

38. Who likes to star gaze?

All three of them, but especially Kairi to be honest. She drags them out to look at the stars most nights.

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Riku wins them for both Sora and Kairi.

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

Kairi is most active, followed by Riku. Sora is a lazy bum.

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

Sora gets drunk first. Convinces Kairi and Riku to get drunk, and the three of them spend the night being drunk idiots together.

46. Who has the longer food order?

Sora’s ridiculously picky when it comes to food and orders things super long. Riku’s orders are shortest.

RokuNami

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Neither really, Namine’s very brave overall and Roxas isn’t exactly a coward either. Namine might be considered one, but she really isn’t one at all.

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

Roxas is dominant, Namine is submissive.

28. Who is the book worm?

Namine’s a major bookworm, it provided her best means of escape besides drawing while she was in the Twilight Town mansion. Roxas, not so much.

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

Both, mostly because Sora and Kairi like them but still.

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

“If lost return to Sora and Kairi.” “We are Sora and Kairi.” Alternatively: “If lost return to Roxas.” “I am Roxas.”

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

Roxas goes overboard on holidays and you can’t convince me otherwise.

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

Both try to be the responsible parent, but often times Sora and Kairi tend to leak into them and they tend to get bad, but Roxas especially.

41. Who cries during sad movies?

Roxas gets super emotional over these for some reason and I have no idea why. Namine’s typically crying a bit too. Tbh I think it has something to do with the fact that they can feel, but idk.

42. Who is the neat freak?

Neither really but tbh I like the idea of after being surrounded by white for so long Namine just occasionally purposefully makes messes so things aren’t nearly as white.

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

...Don’t let either of these two drive. owo’

#Heather RPs #key2destne #Heather Answers

0 notes

redruffs · 8 years ago

Text

brace yourself it's a long q&a

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? •I can't remember where I put something and I'm just- 2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? •Not really 3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? •Probably not . I don't think it's something I'd ever want to do, but if they're happy and not addicted or relying, I really don't mind. 4: Do you find it easy to trust others? •It just depends on the person, I guess. I think everyone is wonderful and good and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. 5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? •Watching Harry Potter :P 6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? •Probably no one, I do a lot of things alone. 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? •I take things like that pretty hard. Not because of I was hurt, but because my trust was broken and that's what hurts the most. 8: Are you close with your dad? •Absolutely not. He left when I was 10 after CPS was called on his wife for continued child abuse, and we've spoken once since and he doesn't care to contact/acknowledge me. 9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? •Nope. 10: What are you listening to? •'Glass Bead' by GFriend. A bop. 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? •tea! 12: Do you like hickeys? •I've never had one so I guess I don't have a personal opinion. 13: What time do you go to bed? •11-1ish 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? •Yeah. 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? •Oh gosh, no. I'm a mess with one hand. 16: Do you always answer your texts? •I try to!! 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? •No not at all! She's still one of my favorite things in life and I love her dearly. 18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? •Last night we talked about pooping. (: 19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? •Yes!! 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? • 'what if teddy was a werewolf' 21: Is anyone else in the room with you? •my dog! 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? •holy avacados yes 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? •I think I'm happier now. 24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? •Oh, definitely. 25: In the past week, have you cried? •YEP LAST NIGHT. I saw this cosplay gif set of Teddy/Nymphadora/Remus Lupin and it seriously made me shut down for about ten minutes. 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Black :P 27: Do people ever call you by your last name? •No? 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? •yes and it hurts like hell. 29: Do you have a best friend? •yeah! they both live in different states though. 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? •I've never kissed anyone, so. 31: Who was your last call/text message from? • I think it was from @efrabbit ! i haven't read it yet oops ily 32: Are you mad at anyone? •Not really, there's no use. 33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? • ^^ 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? • ^^^^ why do these all include kissing 35: How many more days until your birthday? •69 days! (oh god.) (may 8th btw) 36: Do you have any summer plans yet? •I think I have summerschool bc I failed the first semester of biology, but I don't usually do much in the summer besides read and watch movies haha. 37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? •Woah, not really. Gotta fix that 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? •I don't think so? 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? •Not really? I'm pretty open with my friends. 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? •stOP 41: Do you think age matters in relationships? •I mean,,, okay, if it's like a 14 y/o with a 20 y/o or something like that, I think that's not great, just because of maturity. But otherwise no, not really. 42: Are you available? •No, I'm out of stock. Sorry. :P idek 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? •Still in it, but one?? 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? •I want the side of my nose pierced so bad. 45: Do you believe exes can be friends? •Yeah! I'm seriously really good friends with two of them. You had stuff in common for a reason. :) 46: Do you regret anything? • "Never regret anything, because at one point it was exactly what you wanted." I've lived firmly on that for a long time. 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? • TONKS ! DESERVED ! BETTER ! 48: Did you ever lose a best friend? •Actually yes, and it hurts me really often that I lost her. But I'm glad she's happy. 49: Was your last kiss a mistake? • ): 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? • She lives elsewhere, but that's going to change one day. 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? • no but all these kiss questions will make me cry 52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? • OH COME ON 53: What was the last thing you ate? • I had an egg roll 54: Did you get any compliments today? • I don't think so? maybe today has been fuzzy, I've been super sleepy for some reason. 55: Where are you going on your next vacation? • I think Austin for my cousin's awards 56: Do you own anything from other countries? • YEAH. I own so much kpop stuff, some other Korean items, stuff from Mexico I got on cruises, and whatnot (: 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? •girls! 58: Where have you lived most of your life? • I have only ever lived in this kinda smallish town in Texas. 59: When was the last time you took a long drive? •Last weekend! My mom and I drove a few hours to a super small town to go shopping and to go to like four Bucky's :P it was fun ! 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? •no & no thank you 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? • Oh gosh no I could never 62: Who do you text the most? •My two really good friends :) 63: What was the last movie you saw? •I watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban this morning! It's my favorite along with GOF. 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? • I'm single lmao. 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? • Probably one or two power rangers, since I was like, nine. 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? • im- 67: Do you curse around your parents? • Sometimes? but it's like the not terrible ones 68: Are you happy with where you live? •House-wise? No, not really. We've never had a house of our own or anything that wasn't an apartment, and I'd like to get a house someday. 69: Picture of yourself? • um... ugly. 70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? •mono 71: Have you ever been dumped? • No 72: What do you most like about making out? •I'm actually going to cry why me 73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? • stop. 74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? • B y e 75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? •their soul yall. 76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? • my best friend <3 77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? • virginvirginvirgin 78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? • goodbye 79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? • her 80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? •yeah ofc! 81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? • yeah 82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? • it depends 83: Do you miss your last sweetie? • I read that as sweet and looked over at the lollipop stick so yes I want it back 84: Last time you slow danced with someone? •I haven't 85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? •yeah lmao oh gosh 86: How can I win your heart? • Tell me a cheesy Harry Potter pickup line and you're golden 87: What is your astrological sign? • I'm a Taurus! 88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? •sleeping 89: Do you cook? • yeah!! 90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? • Yes. She contacted me again and we've been just as close as we were ever since and I love her so much. 91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? • Only of it was with someone particular. Otherwise no. 92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? •Not really sure? 93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? • honestly I really don't nitpick like that, it just depends on who the person is. 94: Name four things that you wish you had! •confidence, •a freaking brown mascara, a skirt for this thingy, and my Hogwarts letter than is reasonably late, but it's okay, I'm patient. 95: Are you a player? •no 96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? •no 97: Are you a tease? •I mean no not really ? 98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? •nope 99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? •yepyep 100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? •myself because I'm great stop sleeping on me, world 101: Hugs or Kisses? •hugs. hugs are amazing. 102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? •No, I'm really not 103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? • I always notice how tall someone is 104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? •I guess 105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? • no ! no ! no !!!! that would break an innocent person's heart over my own shitty lust and that's not okay, I could never 106: Do you flirt a lot? •I think sometimes how I talk to people comes off as flirting but I'm really not trying to flirt 107: Your last kiss? • ((': 108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? • I hate this 109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? • naiwjwosjsjshwk 110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? • nymphadora tonks. I would kiss her on head and promise that I'll always fight for her. 111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? • nah 112: Does someone like you currently? •yes? 113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? •yes 114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? •serious shit man 115: Ever made out with just a friend? • take a wild guess 116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? • I'm not really sure tbh 117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

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