#I would also like to mention for context
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The Garden - I (part a)
technically this is sagau stuff, but it's also more focused around my daydreams so here's a bit of that. The actual sagau content comes into play a lot later.
"Cecilia? Where are we going?"
"Shh! Ask questions later! I wanna show you something cool!"
The two young children scurried off through the forest, a forest that they'd come to know so well, and eventually stumbled out of the other side. "You see that hill over there?" The young girl said, pointing to the distant mound. "Yeah...what's so special about it?" The boy asked, still full of confusion. "-And don't you think we're out a little too far? Mother will start to worry if we aren't back soon." He wrapped his arms around himself, hoping it would ease some of his uncertainty. The girl scoffed, and simply dismissed his comment.
"Just follow me." She grabbed his hand, and dragged him off towards the hill. When they finally got there, the young boy was out of breath. "Ahh seriously. How are you *pant* so fast..."
Standing on top of the hill, the two of them could just barely see past the horizon, and could just barely catch a glimpse of the world that they once were a part of. "See... over there... I think? It looks like it could be a town."
"Yeah. It does kinda look like that. Well, can we go home now?"
"Fine, fine. Geez, I thought you'd be more excited." She crossed her arms and ran down the hill, nearly falling over in the process. When the boy ran down, she caught his hand before he could tumble over, and instead managed to keep him upright.
"I don't get what's so interesting about the rest of the world. As far as I know, it's way better here anyways." He said, brushing off his clothes.
"No, maybe you wouldn't get it. That's fine though. We should head back now though, otherwise Mother might get worried." She said, facing away from the intense glare she was receiving.
"That is literally what I said."
The two made their way back through the forest, navigating through the well-hidden traps that had been placed there. The forest was oddly quiet today. There was hardly any noticeable creatures roaming around, and the birds felt like they were more distant than usual. It was an eerie atmosphere.
However, despite the strange feeling that permeated through the air, they made it back home safely. Waiting on the porch of the cottage for them was their mother, who waved to them as they walked up. "Ah! I'm glad you two are back home safe, I was really worried!" She fretted. The two were embraced gently, and then hurried inside. However all was not right, the house was dead quiet, a stark contrast to how the house usually was. Had everyone still been out? Where was everyone else?
The two noticed something was wrong almost instantly. Had the two come back together ordinarily, there'd be a very upset sister waiting at the door, ready to start another brawl. She rarely left the house at all, and especially not on her own.
"Mother, I'm feeling kinda tired, so I'm gonna go to bed early if that's okay?" The young girl blurted, trying to sound as natural as possible. Clearly she had a bad feeling about this as well.
"Me too...we went pretty far today... so I'm extra sleepy."
Mother simply smiled, and said "Alright, please sleep well, love you both."
They both met in the girl's room. Something wasn't right here. "Did you see the way she said that? It didn't feel right at all." She launched herself onto her bed, and lay there for a while.
"Usually she'd have more of a reaction? Not to mention the fact that Xin is nowhere in sight." He sat down next to her bed, and rested his head against the mattress.
"Right? Like...she'd totally be waiting for us to be all like "How dare you two go without me?" and "You made me stay here all by myself!" but she just... wasn't there."
"Something's wrong here...but I don't know what to do. Or even how we can prove that."
"Simple, we can just wait until actual bedtime, and if even still nobody shows up, then we'll know somethings wrong." The young girl sat up from her bed, and started to undo her hair. "Until then we just have to buy time."
"Yeah...but even then, what'll we do after that?" He began, climbing on top of the bed to assist his sister. "Like, if nobody shows up, then what? What will we do from there?" He undid the braids of her hair, careful not to tug too harshly, and then proceeded to work on undoing his own.
"Hm... we should probably talk to Mother then. See if she knows what's wrong."
"I think Mother is what's wrong here," he sighed. "Something's not right about her, but I don't want to be rude and ask. Let's do that then, we'll wait till the time everyone would normally be home, and then we can confront her."
"Alright. I'm gonna take a nap in the meantime. I wasn't lying about being tired. You can...keep watch or something." The girl said, promptly collapsing back down onto her bed, and quickly falling asleep.
"Seriously, why are you making me do this..." He crossed his arms and sat next to her, keeping his eyes focused on the door.
I - Part A - END
this isnt edited sighh im too sleepy atm. Maybe another time. Making up for those notification I see in my inbox and then I feel guilty that I haven't written anything in a while. So here's my slop. Or something.
#comes out of hibernation to drop daydream sagau content#I would also like to mention for context#that this will be like. Super different from known genshin lore things#but theres still the cult thing going on so wooo#sagau#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau cult au#genshin cult au#genshin impact#genshin au#it'll be more obvious that its genshin related a bit later on
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im âprobablyâ autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#âif i did have itâ i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasperâs posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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a compilation of recent PLE:AD AU-related drawings. sorted by oldest to latest
#ple:ad au#object show au#object show community#hfjone#bfdi#bfb#inanimate insanity#ava ledger#airy hfjone#david bfdi#dora bfdi#golf ball bfdi#basketball bfdi#test tube ii#i was actually planning on putting the first 2 images in it's own post but#i dunno i think bundling everything recent into one post would be better i guess#also yes i KNOW i forgot the 'b' in 'remember' if ur even gonna mention it...grr...#also i still need to figure out what David & Dora are gonna look like in PLE:AD AU#y'know(rhetorical) with the whole humanization logic in this AU & such#i had just drawn the last image right now. i think the background fade makes it look pretty cool#also !! if you have any questions for more context about any of the drawings u can ask me !! i will do the answering
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mmmmyeah
#when i read tg the rize mother symbolism was so jarring to me but recently i saw someone mention rize and makima together and it made me go#!!!!#because i hadnât connected how much their dynamic resembles sometimes#how rize and makima both are introduced with the mc being attracted to it and following them for it but the more the story progresses it#they both take the role of mother/creators#also while i added the bit of kaneki and denji cannibalizing rize/makima its worth to mention that both scenes happen in complete different#context and denji eating her out of love would be more fitting parallel to kaneki killing rize and freeing her at the end but i find it#interesting still they both eat them even if kaneki its more in his mind#anyway nobody probably carws for this cus theres like only 5 ppl in this app still into tg#but whatever#mine#chainsaw man#tokyo ghoul
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husbandâs reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster âin the queenâs nameâ in 1483 â only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/âfeminineâ than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her âreassessmentsâ tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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MASSIVE SPOILER for one of the endings.
it's been a while since i tried looking, but i did hear that something like this happens last year and over time started to think, "was it a fluke?" bc no one posted footage or caps of it then, and i aimed for a completionist run in my first playthrough. turns out it's real! and definitely shines a new light on a character that, for most other types of playthroughs, will not give this much emotion! EDIT: transcript now included, and some stillshots under the cut
[0:28] Marie: Henry, this is the man who kept you from doing the right thing tonight. Kill him. [0:15] Forrest: Henry, you donât have to do this. If youâve not killed anyone yet, thereâs still time to make the right decision. [0:05] Out of shot: (Gunshots) Henderson Police! Freeze! Marie: No! Henry, get out of there!
#killer frequency#henry barrow#these handsâŠâŠâŠ#so yes MORE spoilers and further commentary ahead here in the tags:#yes this is a fairly tragic ending if you already know how to get it. but again TERRIFIC VOICE ACTING BEFOREHAND AND AFTER.#feel free to reply in post if you want to ask about that part.#i didn't include that in the vid bc it's so visceral and raw but i love their performances. that shit hit hard dang.#but i want to ask anyone if their perspective on henry changes after seeing this? mine does tbh. i didn't expect a possible show of remorse#like at most hesitation! but bc of the context of forrest's dialogue- does it lean into remorse? a large definite shift in his mind!#even if he Has killed already then he's still taking forrest's words to heart and reconsidering everything which DAMN-#-my videogamey headcanon of forrest's character stats showing his Persuasion and Charm MAXED OUT is pulling tf through here!!#also can anyone reply re: would forrest's dialogue change but he still survives if henry kills maurice or murphy? or would forrest die?#and if the devs Actually gave henry other official kills in the game but didn't disclose them in the narrative- then is this the test?#like if henry kills AT ALL in game even though the player isn't privy to knowing which victims are his then is this ending unattainable?#also placing this scene/character moment behind THIS ENDING SPECIFICALLY heck that's cold. dang fellas.#going to eventually pull out a hc i've been holding back for a long time in a later post and i'll mention this scene again then-#-but this part in particular as well as another âeaster eggâ has really put more fuel to it
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Homestuck Spoilers Out of Context.
#homestuck spoilers#(but out of context)#homestuck#undertale#sans undertale#sans but green#homestuck cherub#cherub#biblically accurate angel#memes#tigerbears posts#homstuck act 6#(I'm at like Act 6 Intermission 4.)#(So far would say I enjoy homestuck)#(but the intermission where Andrew Hussie used his characters to soapbox was a drag.)#homestuck act 6 intermission 3#(*we get it you hate âsjwsâ âcontent warningsâ & âtumblrâ no i'm not offended or triggered i just think it's painfully boring and unfunny.*#(also another example of how homestuck's dated)#(if you ever decide to read homestuck I recommended skipping the first two openbound sections.)#(except some people say there's plot relevent stuff so maybe just talk to Aranea and Meenah then ignore most of the other ancestor trolls.)#(the only highlights of openbound 1 & 2 were that random mention of undertale and zuko's voice actor in the let's read homestuck dub.)#(Sorry this post just turned into a rant about act 6 intermission 3 apologies for that)#(kankri is the jar jar binks of homestuck. I never felt annoyed by jar jar but now I know the pain og star wars fans went through.)
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iâve always found it peculiar how during meeting the chargers cutscene the game just assumes your character automatically understands what krem is talking about when he mentions binding (though, granted, itâs all very unsubtle). like, this is a roleplaying game. what if i want to play a character who just doesnât get it
#dragon age#cremisius aclassi#inquisitor trevelyan#at least give me an in game explanation of why the inquisitor would Know this right away#it's not like transgenderism is a widely explored topic in da lore. the most you can find about it in inquisition specifically excluding#krem and seras countless transmisogynistic lines is one codex that mentions that some previous divine mightve been a trans woman#and the way it's written sucks ass. the infamous sex in thedas codex also mentions nothing on the topic of transness. so like#whats up with that#art stuff#before anyone says anything i fully realize how i look critiquing a bioware game that came out in 2014 on its faulty queer representation#please trust me i know. im just thinking out loud#ALSO. in case it isnt obvious. parsley transed they gender. the joke is that theyre a nonbinary femme now#its hard for me to show it through art because it would involve misgendering them but they dont actually start going by they/them pronouns#until after halamshiral. so like technically if i made them refer to themselves as he/him at any point before that it would be canonical but#its not like my art is chronological by any means and cannot be taken out of context by virtue of it existing as an individual post online#if someone were to reblog an art of them saying hi im a dude theyd go cool! hashtag male inquisitor. or something#the tragic case of sacrificing narrative in order to not get second hand discomfort at seeing parsley misgendered#ANYWAY..........
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they should let me cite my tumblr mutuals on academic papers
#for context im starting a long ass paper on the gyaru subcultureâ its influences from black american fashionâ and arguing that black hip hop#fashionâ like gyaru fashionâ was heavily influenced by socioeconomic factors and not just General Deviance.#in this essay im also going to cover colorism in japan (bc of its strong ties to the gyaru subculture) and in these types of papers fashion#magazines and depictions in fiction make great evidence. and then i realized. our shidou colorism discussion.#it might be self plagiarism if i lift too much of my words from posts but obviously i would talk about it more academically#plus im mentioning the treatment of other darker skinned people in japanese media for this section.#but the important part is that i happen to be able to talk about shidou ryuusei (and blue lock) for a grade. fucking incredible#masayapping
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Just got out of my first therapy session in a few years... I think it went okay overall, but I find myself having an instinct to kinda downplay how I'm feeling, seeming like things are better than they are
I just worry that'll prevent me from getting the real help I'll need... Really hope that won't be the case and that things will start to improve these next couple of months
#akiis thoughts#she also mentioned ai in a sorta positive way and i sat there like đŹ#but regardless i talked about some important context that she would need to know so... hoping for the best
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculineâeither because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want toâand either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identifyâregardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronounsâis an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to thatâ the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her faceâher blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anywayâ
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other menâeven naked onesâand does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the showâthrough her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights đđ»đđ»đđ» congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu bes#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3#btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context#by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3#my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo đ
đ
đ
)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender rolesâŒïž#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing#mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect#as mentioned in the post above#you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about#like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough#i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again đ€Ș
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2024 reads / storygraph
Outdrawn
f/f contemporary romance
two cartoonist whoâve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at
they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families
#outdrawn#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#sapphic books#I thought this was decent! I liked the concept (even if I got distracted by some art related thingsâŠ)#and the dynamic between the characters was good. I enjoyed their relationship development broadly speaking#and the emphasis on communication; though it was a quick flip into being together all of a sudden.#The sketchbook doodle flirting was cute. Some interesting exploration of their complicated family situations too.#Thereâs a lot of exploration of burnout and carpal tunnel and the dangers of artists overworking which I think are important conversations#and are done with some nuance. But itâs pretty much all discussed in the context of the personal pressure they put on themselves#rather than the industry corporate greed and artificial competition created by the comic platform - which are significant in this story!#It felt odd that that connection wasnât really ever made?#I know that this is a romance and nitpicking the background plot is beside the point and also that I am not a big romance reader#but the premise that the comic hosting site archives everything; wipes the leaderboard; and out of nowhere has a comic competition for#new weekly chaptersâŠIâm sorry but the art world would riot. Even if people enter because theyâre desperate for the cash theyâd be pissed#People live off the income from their webcomics! if they were erased (temporarily) with no noticeâŠ..there would be crimes committed istg#I simply donât believe that it would be doable to create a new weekly webcomic with no notice while you also have a full-time comic job#(especially as the only stylistic choices mentioned are full-colour) - not to mention what happened to their 8-years-running webcomics#that were archived? they donât think about them at all after the beginning? surely theyâd care about that?#And then with their new comics they make for this competition (after work I guess) we get vague snippets about them but barely anything#- if theyâre consuming that much of your time I would expect to feel like theyâre thinking about them all the time#rather than the vaguest discussion about genre and cast numbers only.#I guess I just think the whole comic site stunt felt unnecessary for the plot anyway -#it would have worked exactly the same if they were just competing on the normal leaderboard with their normal comics???#anyway - Iâm not judging TOO hard about all that because again I know itâs not the point and maybe the industry is like that in some place#Unfortunately it was distracting enough to affect my feelings on the book tho lol.#Lastly: the audiobookâŠâŠâŠoof. The narrators talk at different speeds; for one.#And Sageâs VA does this deeply weird raspy-anime-teen-boy voice for Noah which is such an odd choice#and doesnât match her character at all.#unforch my library only had the audiobook (what I usually prefer) so I just had to sort ofâŠ.translate the narration into a normal voice lol#anyway the romance is good tho
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Would you guys want me to post fanfics on here if they're still monster romance?? I asked this before for a one-shot and people said yes but this would be a long series I'd be posting weekly so I feel like I should gauge interest again.
#I really love this thing but i don't want to clog up ppls feeds if they're not into it#ig people could just block the story tag if they didn't want to see it#anyways if yall did want it it would start going up in about a week and some change#Part of me rlly wants to post it here just to make other ppl excited about my favorite boy lol#I hate the way the polls make you type a question#like I just added a paragraph of context I don't need any more lol#also its kind of a dubiously monstrous subject but he's inhuman and deeply offputting so I'm counting him and no one can stop me#also it would be Cole from dragon age fanfic I maybe should have mentioned this
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in retrospect my confusion on the whole 'man vs bear' thing may have been due to the fact that i was interpreting it as a 'would you rather be trapped in a mall with five black mambas or one adult gorilla' type question rather than a 'which is safer to begin with' question
#spitblaze says things#in which case id personally say bear bc there are things you can do to ensure the bear does not go aggro on you#and u cant do that to a person. idk whos out there. could be my dad. could be jason voorhees#(likely a forest ranger)#idk who im up against and how they feel about me and doing the work to figure that out would be difficult#not to mention that humans have a lot more resources at their disposal than the average bear#ha. anyway#in that context. bear#i might need to make an entire post for my answer otherwise tbh bc my stupid ass needs details before i can answer definitively#also i guess it kind of *is* a which is safer question but like. in terms of 'i could be resourceful enough to avoid damage'#vs 'option i think has the lesser likelihood of something bad happening to begin with'#and i was thinking abt it as the former#edit: 'PARTLY due'??? bro thats the whole thing what are you talking about
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disorganized ramble about cami
eak and ttrap's care for cami is what dooms her to stay with owyyn. both of them want to save cami but they don't actually take the time to listen to her, spend time with her and understand why she stays by owynn's side because they're too focused on saving her, as if she were a damsel in distress, to see her. they don't try reasoning with her because they know she's committed to owynn but they don't take the time to ask themselves why. and that's exactly why owynn has the upper hand, i believe. he listens to cami, he takes the time to understand her needs, frustrations and things that bring her joy and he weaponizes that. a push and pull, if u will. he berates her to keep her from questioning him, and then does something nice so she doesn't hate him. he sees her as a full-fledged person and plays into her ideologies, desires and pains to convince her that she should do what he says. ttrap and eak are too focused on the idea of saving her that they don't see her as a person anymore, they don't take the time to deprogram her. that dooms her. because she feels like they don't understand her, because they don't, so she turns more and more to owynn. who seems to understand her even better than herself, who doesn't underestimate her or take her as stupid, who takes her seriously and explains things she doesn't understand instead of laughing it off or thinking she's cute for being confused. who sees her as a person. as a person that is worth trusting on instead of just a girl that needs to be protected. maybe she thinks eak and ttrap have been blinded by the bullying she suffered and see her as an eternal victim as a result. so she thinks owynn is not as bad as they say, because they are too focused on seeing her as someone who is weak and can't handle anything on her own. in a way, she may want to prove herself, that she is not that weak little girl anymore. she is strong, has powers, can defend herself and judge if her relations are good or bad for her. being a threat may be cathartic: she is not the weak victim anymore, she has the control and the power now. she decided owynn is good for her, because he sees her as capable, strong, reliable. something eak and ttrap, no matter how many times she gets mad at them and threatens them, will never do. she is not capable to them, she is a victim that needs saving. and cami hates that.
kind of like that one post format. "i would kill for you" "i would die for you" okay but would you listen to me. would you remember the things that upset me and make me happy. would you explain things i don't understand. would you spend time with me even if i'm silent and don't even want to be with myself. that kind of ordeal
#fnafhs#fhs#mine#i think this explains in my brain why eak and ttrap were unable to help cami see that owynn sucks#also why they dont seem to interact as friends the 3 of them in canon#(<- its a nonsesne rambling that has no basis in canon)#(evil shadow man appears next to me) and thats why goldami works#ESPECIALLY in a context where golden is aware she hypnotized him#which is not something i have explored here i think? even though i find it less likely i also find it very interesting#for golden to forgive her and want the best for her while being completely aware that she was the one who fucked him up#and that would affect cami differently because he KNOWS she is capanbe and a threat and an insanely bad and fucked up person#he experienced it first hand . he is her primary victim. and yet he forgives her and tells her she is being manipulated#someone who has no bearing in her wellbeing and should be wishing the worst for her is instead trying to help her#that should be a wake up call. ur friends may not be the greatest but theyre right this time. its not just them beign overprotective#the guy that HATES you is siding with them .#anyways fun fact eak is the one who is most guilty of this. the guy is the first to take a bullet for someone but cant be vulnerable#ttrap too dont get me wrong but he may try a little bit#fnafhs cami#fnafhs eak#fnafhs towntrap#fnafhs owynn#<- although hes bareley mentioned ig it counts#i always forget to tag the characters (im just lazy)
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when sapkowski is all âi donât believe in absolute evilâ like he didnât write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though
#likeeee it kind of seems to me that⊠they got pretty close. to absolute evil. you know#like uhhh⊠nilfgaardian invasion detailed in baptism of fire anyone#though ok ok his point was that there is no absolute evil as in being motivated by evil itself#that evil always has its own motivations and those motivations can be evil but itâs not evil for the sake of being evil#HOWEVER that being said i feel like bonhart really was just evil for the sake of being evil#you could say for the sake of sadism or for greed (him being the anti-geralt lol and actually being a stereotyped idea of witcher ngl)#buuuut i feel like sadism and greed are just niche evils themselves#with vilgefortz and the wallcreeper and also emhyr (didnt mention his ass at first but throw him in too) theyâre more just power hungry#and wanting revenge on those that wronged them (interesting because isnât this also what our protags wantâminus the power)#anyways reviewing these interviews again has me đđłđ but also đ€š#sometimes i feel like (with this discussion on evil) the economics background really shines through LMAO#like well sometimes i feel like there really is evil that is evil evil. sometimes people are just hateful and targeting with their hate#and you know this yourself bc you wrote it wtf#like youâre not gonna call the human peasants who slaughtered the dwarves and elves in rivia evil? i would call that absolute evil#maybe not their entire lives but in that instance true evil manifested#i feel like the definition of evil im getting at is hate and bloodthirst#which yeah sometimes that exists for no reason whatsoever#i mean it can be based out of economic âreasoningâ (manipulated into propaganda) to scapegoat a population and target of hate#but it quickly excels past any reason whatsoever. yeahh i dont think evil always has a motivation outside of evil. disagree#the elbow-high diaries#also âthereâs more context here iâm leaving out bc its just too much to talk about in the tags of this post
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