#I worked really hard on them they are both very long and are the reason I even started writing this story
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Chapters: 8/11 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Original Characters, Stan Pines, Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Melody (Gravity Falls), Gideon Gleeful, Pacifica Northwest, Mrs. Gleeful (Gravity Falls) Additional Tags: Handyman Bill Cipher, Post-Book: The Book of Bill (Gravity Falls), Temporarily Human Bill Cipher, Blood and Injury, Unsuccessful Murder Attempts, Demon possession, Making Out, Smoking, Bill is Trying to Tap That So Hard, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, (Like only a little), Demon Exorcism, Bill Cipher is a Magical Girl Summary:
Things are complicated in Bill’s life as it is now that he’s in a human body on glorified house arrest while doing community service as the new handyman for the Mystery Shack, what he doesn’t need it a situationship-turned-maybe-just-ship with Ford Pines.
…maybe he shouldn’t seek it out either, but that’s besides the point. He’s got one goal and that’s to get back in his body, get his powers back, and far away from this rock.
So, when salvation comes in the form of a former fling spinning plans about how to get his revenge and eat it, too, Bill’s all too eager to listen. It’s not like he cares about these people, this place, or anything else here. He’s got plans, big plans, and there’s nothing that can stop him, not even these squishy, human emotions he’s starting to feel.
#gravity falls#gf#billford#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#the redemption and subsequent death of bill cipher#trasdobc#my writing#CHAPTER 8 IS UP BABY#sorry for the delay again#i hope this chapter is worth the wait#chapters 8 and 9 are my babies#I worked really hard on them they are both very long and are the reason I even started writing this story#please enjoy <3
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Uhhh post game cap in regular clothes?
(Prolly reluctantly trying to separate himself from the uniform a bit since….. *gestures at game* all of that happend, but also not quite knowing where to go from here since *gestures at game* all of this makes me feel like trying to move on from the BBs is probably gonna be hard for him and I feel like the uniform may or may not be a comfort to him in some weird sense… Wish I could explain my reasoning better but then again I don’t even think he could .)
Oh Yeah I absolutely understand what you're getting at here. The uniform IS him in many ways- it represented his place in things both as a follower and a leader. As long as he was wearing it he knew who he was (or what his role was) and so did others. That uniform also represented all his hard work to become Inspekta’s right hand man, so it absolutely was a source of pride as well as comfort. Having the BB's disbanded and losing that position and uniform is going to be very, very hard. For the first time in a very long time he's going to have to think about who he is a person removed from a power structure that gave him purpose. He's been completely unmoored in a way. And that's going be incredibly rough- things are going to feel worse and perhaps get worse for him before he can get better. Even though he's out of a toxic situation and in a far healthier place I think it's going to be something he misses for a while. We know from Yugo's drawings that what he wore before joining the Bizzyboys and wears off the clock are more for function and comfort and that he doesn't take great care of himself or them. And why should he? He only needs to be presentable so that he's representing Inspekta well. If he’s not on the job there’s no point in dressing up. In my opinion, the contrast between how he treats his own clothes vs his uniform is really interesting and important. He wants respect but doesn't respect himself and that reflects in his clothing choices. It's also why he panics so much when his uniform gets colored in paint- suddenly he doesn't fit in and his image doesn't command power. I've drawn him in his tank top/shorts and flannel but let’s talk about what else could be in his wardrobe. After rotting for a bit I think Vibiano and the others will help/push him to get a new wardrobe. I have designed some clothes I can see him picking out. Similar shapes to his uniform, nothing too out there pattern or color-wise that would made him stand out (maybe one day he'll feel bolder)- stuff that looks nice and snappy and classy. Stuff that makes him look like a guy you'd respect- yknow? Something he can wear with pride again.
Anyway those are my thoughts/interpretations! They may be different from yours (general not just you anon) but I definitely think his clothing is important to his character! I have a stupid joke follow up to this too but I'm going to post it separately.
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also had a joe goldberg x reader x love quinn idea where reader accidentally murders somebody and has to call both of them to help clean up the body? like you probably know that they’re murderers anyway so you really need their help to get rid of any evidence.
I love this idea so much! I hope you like what I did with it <3
Safe Haven (Joe Goldberg x fem reader x Love Quinn)
Warnings: there's a creepy guy/brief implied attempted assualt (nothing actually happens don't worry), murder/violence/gore, some hurt/comfort
Goddamn it. This wasn't supposed to happen, was what immediately popped into your head as you watched the blood trickle down from the cracked skull onto the pristine marble flooring.
You'd been at the bakery, getting things all closed up for the evening. Usually Love did it, but you offered to do it for her since you knew how hard she'd been working lately. The woman needed a break.
She thanked you with a kiss and a hug, telling you to not take too long before leaving you to lock up. You'd been wiping down the counters when you heard the bell over the door start to go off, signaling that someone had come in.
That's odd, you thought, a frown pulling at your lips. Most people in town knew what the bakery's schedule was, so why would they come in right before closing?
And then you saw the guy, and your heart dropped, sinking to the bottom of your stomach like a stone in a lake. You didn't know his name or anything like that, but he'd been showing up every day for the past week trying to hit on you, even after you'd politely declined his advances.
Why would you need him, after all, when you already had Joe and Love in your life?
"Hey, pretty thing," he greeted with an overly charming smile that made you want to hurl. Pretty thing. He didn't get to call you that.
The only people who had the privilege of calling you pretty were Joe and Love. "Good job, pretty girl," they'd coo when you completed a task or behaved good for them, the way you were supposed to.
Your hand instinctively went to clutch at the rolling pin Love always kept behind the counter. It wasn't unusual, as she did work at a bakery, but you knew full well the real reason it was kept back there: for times like these.
"What, not even a hello?" He joked, though you could tell just from the look in his eyes he was offended by your lack of a greeting.
"We're closed," you tried to state firmly in the most even tone you could muster despite how your heart was racing in your chest. You weren't stupid, that much was sure. You knew what men could be like, and you didn't trust this guy as far as you could throw him.
"The door was unlocked," he said with a casual shrug, as if that made any difference. Oh, how you wish your partners were here right now. Love would have no shame in getting all up in his face and telling him off, and while Joe might not be as assertive as she was he wouldn't hesitate to protect you either.
"We're still closed. You'll have to come back in tomorrow." Even if your voice did waver slightly, you knew you were brave for standing up for yourself.
The guy, however, merely scoffed and rolled his eyes at you. "C'mon, don't tell me you're still playing hard to get."
"I'm not playing hard to get," you snapped back in turn, your anger starting to take control over your fear. I mean, just who did this guy think he was? "I'm married, thank you very much."
Okay, maybe that part was a bit of a lie. You and your partners hadn't officially tied the knot yet, but that was only because you weren't sure that marriage with a throuple was technically legal. They had, however, given you a small ring to symbolize how they hoped to marry you someday, which you kept on a chain around your neck so people wouldn't question it as much as if it were on your finger.
Still, the guy seemed to buy it, even if the information didn't faze him much. "So what? I'm married, but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun every now and then."
If you didn't like him before, you certainly hated him now. It was hard to hide the look of disgust on your face as you replied. "No, thank you. I'm repulsed by your offer."
That certainly got his attention. "The fuck did you just say to me?" He spat out in response to your words as he approached the side of the counter.
"Y- You're not allowed back here," you protested weakly, unable to do anything but watch as he slowly stalked closer.
"You think you're better than me, huh? You think you're better than me just because you're faithful and I'm not?"
So desperately did you want to retort with a snarky yes, but now really wasn't the time. "Stay back," you warned while picking up the rolling pin and holding it up defensively in front of you, your entire body seeming to be made of rubber as you cowered in fear. "Or I'll- I'll-"
He let out mocking laughter as he moved even closer, now standing less than a foot away. "Or you'll what? What are you going to d-"
You didn't even let him finish the sentence before you tightened your grip on the rolling pin and swung it hard, smacking him upside the head. There was a loud thud, and you saw the blood on your makeshift weapon before you saw it on him.
Not daring to take the chance that he was only mildly wounded, you kept at it, hitting him again and again and again, over and over until his body laid crumpled on the floor beneath you, no longer moving. Your hands were shaking as you dropped the rolling pin, instantly reaching into the pocket of your apron so you could pull out your phone. You'd need help getting rid of the body, and you knew exactly who to call.
Love was most likely busy making dinner, despite all of your protests and insistence that she needed to take a break and let someone else handle it for once. Your assumption was soon confirmed when Joe ended up being the one who picked up the phone.
"J- Joe," you choked out his name, tears already beginning to well up in your eyes as you sunk down onto the floor. "S- Something happened. Something bad. I- I need you and Love to come help me, please."
That was all you had to say for his casual demeanor to drop as he instantly went into protective mode. "Of course, baby. Where are you at? Are you still at the bakery?"
You nodded your head before realizing he couldn't see you. "Y- Yeah. There was this guy, and- and I did something bad to him."
He was quiet for a moment when you heard talking in the background, Love asking what was wrong and him responding accordingly before he spoke to you again. "Okay, just stay where you are, alright? Take a few deep breaths and try to remain calm. We'll be there soon."
It was hard for you to even imagine staying calm right now when you were so freaked out, but you knew you had to try anyway. "O- Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too." With that, he hung up, and you filled the silence of the room with a long, agonizing wail of disbelief at what had just happened.
You killed a man. Like, actually killed him. And now he was laying there, dead, in the middle of the floor at your partners' bakery.
It didn't take very long for them to arrive. Love immediately rushed over to where you were still curled up on the floor while Joe checked to make sure the guy was really dead.
"Hey, baby, hey," Love murmured in a low and soothing tone as soon as she saw you were crying. "Don't cry, don't cry, baby, it's alright. Me and Joe are here now, and we've got you, alright? We're not going to let anything happen to you."
You sniffled and nodded your head, allowing her to pull you in for a warm hug. She smelled like a mix of spices and baby powder. She smelled like safety, like home.
"What happened?" Joe asked a moment or so later, once you'd calmed down enough to give them a coherent reply.
"He- he came it right before I was about to close up," you began in a shaky voice, your hands trembling. Love gently grabbed them in hopes of helping to calm you, giving them a reassuring squeeze that said it was okay for you to continue. "And- and he was, like, flirting with me, I guess. But in a really weird, 'I don't care what your boundaries are' sort of way."
Love's grip on your hands tightened, her eyes flashing with a look of quiet rage. "Oh, really? Is that so?"
Joe knelt down next to you and shot his wife a look that said not now, signaling that her anger would only make you more upset. "What else happened, hm?" He questioned in a soft tone, reaching out to rest his hand on your shoulder in an act of quiet comfort. He was just as upset as Love was, but unlike her, he was much better at hiding his emotions.
"He- he tried to ask me out, and I said no thank you, that I was already married-" If you'd been less shaken up, perhaps you might've noticed the look of possessive affection that flickered across both of their eyes when you spoke. "-but he didn't- didn't care, and I told him the offer alone repulsed me when he said that it didn't matter because he was married himself, and-"
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, trying to blink back the fresh tears that were welling up in your eyes. They spilled down onto your cheeks regardless, and Love reached a hand out, gently wiping them away. "Go on," she muttered quietly while Joe's hand moved from your shoulder down to your back, rubbing it in circular motions to help keep you calm.
"He got really mad when I said that, so he started to come behind the counter, even though I told him that he couldn't, and I was- I was really worried that he was going to try to- to do something to me, so I-" You shut your eyes, your bottom lip beginning to tremble as you recalled the events that previously happened. "I hit him with the rolling pin that's kept back here until he stopped."
"Oh, honey..." Love cooed sympathetically as she pulled you back in for another hug, Joe's hand still resting somewhat protectively on your back as she did. "You know, I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself. We both are."
"Yeah, this wasn't your fault, sweetie. If you hadn't of stopped him, who knows what would've happened?" Joe chimed in, both of them doing their best to make sure you didn't feel too bad about the situation. "Tell you what, we'll get this all cleaned up for you, and afterwards we can go home and cuddle while we watch one of your favorite movies."
"And I can make you your favorite snack for you," Love added while pulling away enough for her to look into your eyes. "How does that sound?"
"S- Sounds good." Your voice was quiet and the smile you gave them was weak, but at least you weren't hysterical like earlier.
"We just need to get rid of the body first," Love said while standing, Joe still crouched down on the floor next to you. "Okay, you get started on that while I make them something hot to drink." She instructed to her husband, who immediately got up to do as she said.
They never worked better together than when you were in some kind of trouble. It was one of the rare times they could boss each other around and it wouldn't lead to some kind of argument between the two.
You simply watched from your spot where you were huddled up on the floor, trying not to become nauseous at the thought of how exactly they planned on getting rid of him. You hadn't even looked directly at the guy's body the whole time since it happened, too afraid to, as if you were worried at any second now he might spring back to life.
"Here, sweetie, don't look over there at what he's doing." Love's gentle voice cut through your thoughts, making you focus on her instead. She knelt down next to you as she spoke, turning you away from the body as she wrapped a blanket around your shoulders before handing you a steaming mug full of your favorite warm drink. "Careful, it's hot." The loving smile she had on her face made it difficult for you to think about anything else. "You stay here for now, okay? Don't go anywhere. We'll come get you once we're done."
"Okay," you said simply at her orders. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to your face before getting back up and going to help Joe. You blew on the hot drink before taking a tiny sip. The temperature was so hot, it was almost scalding, but you found that the burning sensation it left behind on your tongue only helped to make you feel better.
You weren't sure how long it took them to get the mess cleaned up, but by the time they were finally done your mug was empty and you were starting to fall asleep. "Hey," the quiet voice of Joe spoke, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "We're done now, baby. Let's go home, okay?"
It was hard to tell if you were so tired because of how late it was or because of the excitement of what happened, or if maybe Love had slipped something into your drink to help you calm down some. You wouldn't put it past her. Regardless of the reason, it was difficult for you to stand because of your sudden drowsiness, which he gladly helped you with.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur to you. All you could remember was falling asleep in the car ride home, and one of them carrying you inside before laying you down in bed. The next morning when you woke up, you were being cradled between the two of them, their arms wrapped around you in an embrace that was both warm and safe.
Although you were certain of the events that had happened the night before, it was all beginning to feel like nothing but a bad dream, one you hoped wouldn't plague you ever again. Part of you knew just how unlikely it was that either Love or Joe would ever leave you alone again after that, but you couldn't find it in you to be bothered much by it or to even care. You were much safer around them, anyway.
End notes: I really loved writing this 💕💕
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What does Spice and Jack like to do together?
It's unbearably hot here and I hate working. One more ask, for realsies this time, because fuck everything else
"What do Kratos Burning Spice and Atreus Pepper Jack like to do together?" Sorry, I wanted to do that lol
Spice travels back and forth between the Golden Cheese Kingdom and the Spice Ridge by himself a lot (for work, basically), and he brings Jack with him whenever he can (after Paneer was born, he started either taking them both or alternating between them each time so they get an equal amounts of trips with him). He actually likes when his son joins him to do stuff, even if it's "boring" king/leader duties (which Jack does not find boring, he actually is legitimately interested in things like that and likes that his dad takes him to his "work")
They go on hunting trips often, too. Spice got him in on that early - as soon as he could walk in a straight line without tripping lol. Paneer doesn't like hunting (she actually really loves animals and doesn't want to hurt any ever), so it remained purely a father/son activity. They'll go out for a while - a few hours usually, or even a few days if Spice wants to go somewhere far for a challenge - and hunt game together. They lock onto/track something and work out a plan of attack, so to speak. They both have very different ways of doing/approaching things, both on a hunt and in general (it's those clashing personalities again), so they try to meet halfway and think of something that works for them both. They actually work quite well together and make a good team. (As Jack ages, Spice grants him a little more control/authority of their hunts, to see how he handles taking charge of something like that. Jack does well, for the most part. It makes Spice really proud.)
Jack likes to tell Spice about things he learns (he likes telling both his parents, really). Jack is very smart and even more curious, so he tends to pick a thing or two up every day, even if just a bit of obscure trivia - and he likes to share it with his dad, because he actually likes hearing what Spice has to say about stuff. He'll show him books, he'll bring Spice with him to the library when he can so they can read books together (I honestly think Spice is a smart guy, or at least I headcanon him as such. He was the Herald of History; it's canon that he used to enjoy having deep, open-minded discussions with others, particularly about history, so I think that lends itself to Spice being reasonably intelligent, even wise to some degree). When he was little, he'd just walk up to Spice with a book in hand and climb into his lap, then either ask him to read it to him or ask to read it together. (While Spice no longer fully possesses the patience he once had to entertain people's thoughts and attempts at conversation (he regained a decent amount, but a few millennia being violently antisocial kinda damages your people skills lol)... he has all the patience in the world for his son, so he's happy to indulge him.) Somewhere underneath this behavior is Jack's inherent need/want to get closer to his father, because (as I've mentioned in another post) they're so different from each other otherwise and he doesn't want that little gap between them to exist. They don't always understand each other very well and Jack doesn't like that. And there's still that little nagging insecurity in his heart that Spice is disappointed in who he is and he's not "worthy" of being his son, so it sometimes leads to him trying too hard to "prove" himself to Spice in one way or another. He knows his dad is smart, and he knows his dad will at least indulge him when he wants to tell him stuff, so that's the avenue Jack most often takes. "Look, Father, I know lots of things like you do. I know/want to know history like you do. I'm like you, see? Am I doing a good job?" Some sort of thought process like that. It's sad and unnecessary, but Jack doesn't really understand that for a long time (that "not knowing how to communicate with each other" thing doesn't help)
They also like to spar. Spice always made the biggest effort and took on the biggest role in training the kids in combat, and that reflects in him having one-on-one fights/sparring sessions with them both often. It's one of the ways he likes/tries to bond with them the most; he never loses his taste for battle even as a better man, and he wants to share that excitement with his children. He fights them for practical reasons and also just for fun. Jack views sparring more as a way to let off steam than to have fun (not that he doesn't have fun, though), so he doesn't necessarily always dig this every single time (because he's not upset about something all the time, you know?), but he rarely turns Spice down when he challenges him, so.
And this is more when Jack is little than any other time, but - Spice likes to pick him up and carry him around places. Jack will sit or perch on his shoulders and they'll walk around together. Just a father/son stroll, just because. Jack likes it because it makes him feel tall (Spice is like 6'5" minimum in my headcanon lol). Spice knows it makes him feel tall, so he helps his son pretend he's tall for a little while lol. They do this a lot less after Jack gets past toddler age; Jack thinks it's a little embarrassing to get piggyback rides when he's older... He just sticks to walking by Spice's side like a "mature" person then. But... Sometimes he misses clinging to his dad and feeling tall, so he'll just go ahead and fly up and perch on his shoulders like he used to. And Spice just lets him do it, whenever he wants, without any issue, because he likes being seen and admired as this larger-than-life figure (figuratively and literally) by his kids
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Ok, Reblog To wrap up this one, Thanks for the feedback, I apreciate it. If something I say is a based on feedback, it'll have 2** next to it. This is also a super long post, so TLDR, yall R right! and I don't disagree with you, but I am still changing counterspells for my game. Also if you only want some important informationa bout my game and exactly why some changes needed to be made, at the very end I talk about some important things specifically and only relevent when talking about MY GAME IM MAKING. the rest is a more broad look. First some clarifications,
I initially wanted to talk about My descision to remove counterspells from my card game, and the Way I did that was by talking about some issues with counterspells in MTG. Unfortunately I did not effectively convey that, which is MY B. **(thank you @ouraois). Right now, I have a descision to make about countermagic in my game, and the issues with them in magic are what I want to avoid for the design of my game
I was ranting about counterspells, because I wanted to talk about why I've decided to limit their function in my card game. I sort of rage-baited, and said things like "force all control decks" which is obviously false, the best deck, lantern control, is not about counterspells whatsoever.
I also said that counterspells are "bad design", but I don't really mean that.** Counterspells both "fix" and enable a design issue. The issue is uninteractive win-cons, and also combo decks. single cards that often straight up win the game should simply not be made, but they are really cool, and fun for whoever's using them so "just counter it" becomes the design solution. thats actually a problem in MTG, since not every color has access to removal on the stack. counterspells and uninteractive wincons become beat 'em or join 'em. (for slow formats, big costly win the game things dont work as well if agro is good)
But what else are you supposed to do when designing high-cost cards? (i actually have a fix for that in my game but its weird, so i'll get to that at the very end, it also explains some of the reasons why i CAN't have mtg style counterspells in my game specifically, even if i wanted to)
the same is true to a lesser extent with combos, which is why Legends of Runtera avoids combos. I don't think I'll be able to avoid combos, and I don't think I'll be able to patch out a combo, I'm a single person with no coding experience and some cardboard...
In either case, its sort of like an auriboros, where counterspells fix the issue of cards ending the game unsatasfyingly, but then counterspells are unsatasfying. Power creep makes creatures who are made to "interact" with hard-to-compete-with removal spells, and then those counterspells become more important to slow down those big guys. And since typical removal can't deal with those uninteractive win cons, Counters become necessary (kill spells vs counters triangle) ** (thank you @almaignismare) I could probably explain this better. Design space is freed by counterspells existing, but what is made available in the new design space isnt necissarily healthy for the game.
In magic, players expect both counterspells and things you have to counterspell. but in my game, there is not that expectation yet, I think that there is a more healthy space focused around damage, protection, and card disadvantage that I could create for my game, which would not necessitate counterspells.
before I talk about that tho, I want to finish talking about MTG with a little note. Counterspells are the only way blue has effective card removal, the other removal-like options that designers have attemptes with blue are bounce and stun counters. Both of these are not effectively removing a card, and as such are kind of just card disadvantage. Because of this, the only real way for a blue deck to have removal is to counter stuff ** (thank you @gcu-sovereign) But colors not having good access to removal isnt immidiately bad. black has a hard time with artifacts and enchantments, but fucks with creatures, white is great at alot removal but struggles with interaction, red has a hard time with straight up removing cards, green struggles with creatures, and blue doesn't really have a card type struggle, but it struggles with interacting with the board state. Blue just has to counter stuff, or it won't be able to remove things.
So what's the point? If I included countermagic as it is in MTG, it would not work with my game's ecosystem. The 2 mana counterspell that just straight up removes a card is overpowered for a game where interaction is normally based on doing the oposite of an effect to minimize the downside. At the moment, my game only exists as sets of precons, and in every one of them, the removal of cards is either A. expensive in order to be perfectly effective, like a 5 mana kill spell for any target. B. Able to be easily interacted with, like a 1 mana recuring ping that can only recur if something died (any buff on it's target neuters it) C. Technically temporary, bounce is actually really fun, since it slows down the victem without removing their plan. Or D. Sets up a little side quest that removes the effect. I have an effect called "root" which makes something kinda just die until whatever is rooting it is removed.
Counterspells don't easily fit into any category if they are MTG style. They cannot be expensive, or they would only be for late game. (or they would slow you down alot, not just your opponent) They cannot be easily interacted with, since there's a very limited variety of ways they can be prevented, You can actually make them temporary, but you have to change some rules to make it work (i'll get to that) Or you could make them set up a sidequest? like, you could reasonably have the countered card attach to a creature, and then when that creature dies the card goes back to its owner, This also enables some creative deckbuilding.
For my game, I've made counterspells either be temporary, by sending the card to "exile"the outlands", which cards can recur themselves from if enough cards enter the outlands, or counterspells just get rid of resources but not the card (an effect that just gets rid of the card would just be discard). Or finaly, the counter sets up a sidequest.
I also want to avoid limiting counterspells to one color, specifically as the engine of a control deck. When counterspells have limited effects, or are designed to specifically counter one meta game plan, they are a beutiful thing. I love "counter target ability" or whatever that one card does (I forgot its name.)
To avoid going too in depth, I do have colored mana as a core system of my game, I have 4 colors and a neutral. But I'm trying to avoid limiting gameplans to certain colors, I'm moreso limiting the color pie to different mechanics between each color. So hopefully all of the modes of operation will be available to each color, but the means will be very thematic. I also have a different wincon compared to MTG, which is a work in progress but enables this also.
The final thing I wanted to talk about was mana. Typically, a 10 cost card would have to justify spending 10 mana by getting you realy close to wining the game on its own, or somehow making it virtually impossible for you to lose. likeomnicience doesn't win on its own, but once its there you're golden.
This is the very last thing.
In my game, I started the design by making a cute little mana system that uses these physical tokens to permenently track mana, so you can just hold on to recources as long as you want, its like if spell mana from Legends of runeterra was extended to be the whole mana system. Because of this, high cost spells can be cast much earlier by sacrificing you early game plays in favour of savign up for a big thing. Becausse of this, you can budget your resources to play a big thing that enables a super stong game plan, without winning, without putting yourself behind, so long as the big card makes up for the 1, 2, 3, and 4 cost you didn't play in its place.
you might beable to notice that countermagic, and holding up interaction inherently break this system, since not spending your man is no longer a downside..... THIS is actually like the main, important, design restraint that forces me to look at counterspells very critically, but it doesn't make sense as an explanation of the issue on its own
Counterspells are a toxic game mechanic that manopolize interaction slots and force all control decks to play very similarly.
they also have the problem of being much easier to use than targeted discard and ""stax"" (the broadest possible term, and only 'harder' to an extent :/). I think the only times you should be able to effectively counter an effect on the stack/being played are to counter a literal spell, like instants and sorceries, since the only ways to have "spell removal" are hand interaction, which is obviously only ok when limited, and counterspells. I straight up think that no creature or artifact/enchantment counterspells should exist in a healthy card game, because those other mechanics should be inherently interactable-enough to not necessitate counterspells, and the shear dominance of counterspells as the vehicle of control decks in MTG is evidence enough that they aren't good for a game.
also the reason I care is because I'm making a card game, and effects like counterspells are something you have to choose to have at some point, since they MANOPOLIZE DESIGN SPACE >:()
if you want to see an example of counterspells used well, play the game "unstable unicorns" which is entirely Balanced around counterspells, exclusively. but even then, you have to entirely balance the game around counterspells, exclusively
Also this isn't to say "counterspells bad :(" they have a place, and that place is in games who have not balanced the power of "instantly accessible" effects (so that counterspells aren't necessary). like yeah, craterhoof behemoth and Ghalta often can't be interacted with outside of counterspells, cuz once they ETB you win the game
that is bad design and necessitates the creation, use, and frustration of counterspells. Also, designers only want to make cards like "that" if they can say "just counter it" its just an unhealthy system that necessitates itself existing the moment you let counterspells be anything more than the most simple and direct "spell removal" effects.
thats all
#I'll tag later#thanks for tollerating me going from argumentative to focussing on my own project and just talking at the void about my thing that i like#the dev name for my game is “Guarder” at the moment
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Sam: "Look at me. Hey- look at me a second. I know. I know you're tough. I know how strong you are. You have every right to be proud of that. But being able to handle somethin' doesn't mean you should have to. Least of all when I'm right here trying to help. Please let me help. If not for you then for me, because I don't like knowin' you're hurtin', especially when there's somethin' I can do about it."
Me, shaking my head, fighting back literal tears: "B-but it's gonna give you another headache!"
#redacted sam#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fandom#[Sam's name doubles as a link to the specific lines i quoted btw. just for full credit/transparency & for anyone who wants to (re)listen]#Sam's deep-seated need to heal vs my inability to accept help would be a battle for the ages. unstoppable force vs immovable object#wait Sam already mentioned the force vs object thing to David during the inversion didn't he lmao 'they call /me/ Immovable Object'#he does suit Immovable a little more than Unstoppable i guess. i mean he can def be both imo but ykwim. anyways i digress#listen. i'm not a Marriage kinda guy. but good god the way some of Sam's lines make me wanna take a fucking knee and propose#i'm love him ur honor. he is comfort incarnate#can't believe i waited so long to listen to the Valentines Vampire Attack audio. it's got so much of that sweet sweet hurt/comfort#very reminiscent of their 2nd audio given all the healing he does for them & the consent checks before moving clothing and whatnot#which makes it a top favorite for me bc that's probably my most replayed Sam audio. and the one that initially hooked me#i didn't put off listening to it bc i thought i Wouldn't like it btw i just procrastinate everything for no real reason#listening to it now tho actually worked out well bc i could uh. definitely use it. so maybe i was subconsciously saving it for hard times#this post isn't a joke btw it really does hurt to hear him put himself in pain for the sake of healing Darlin' :(((#anD PAINKILLERS DON'T EVEN WORK ON HIM!!! ough man i would struggle so hard to accept his healing if i were in Darlin's shoes#like yeah there's other reasons i'd struggle to accept it too but him being in pain as a result would be one of 'em. the Guilt bro i can't#rp audio stuff#Seven.txt#(Seven blorbo-posting at 2am when they should either be doing something productive or sleeping?? more likely than you might think)
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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@virtual-particle Yay a distraction!!
So I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension in 2021. I'd noticed some really weird vision changes that seemed concerning and so I went to an eye doctor who did a scan of my optical nerves, which showed swelling, and they said it could either be a brain tumor, MS, or IIH.
Them I got an MRI, and since they didn't find a brain tumor or any signs of MS I got sent to a neurologist with a presumptive diagnosis of IIH. They then performed a lumbar puncture to test the internal pressure of my cerebrospinal fluid, which was VERY high, and thus confirmed the IIH.
Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension is a rare disease, and as the idiopathic part of the name implys, it's not known what causes it. There are lots of theories, some more solid than others, but overall it just means your body cannot properly regulate the ammount of CFS fluid in your brain, leading to increased pressure, which then causes your optical nerves to swell. It also causes migrane-like pressure headaches which can be disabling and are hard to treat, and on top of that it can cause brain fog, vision changes, pulsate tinnitus, and a whole host of other issues. And, the icing on the cake, if left untreated it can result in permanent vision loss.
The front line treatments for this condition are diamox, a diuretic medication typically used for extreme altitude sickness with loads of unpleasant side effects, and weight loss.
Now, I'm of the opinion, from both personal experience and talking to people on the r/IIH subreddit, that weight has fuck all to do with it and is just used as a convenient excuse to ignore this condition and blame it on the patients. I was already skinny when I got it and have had to deal with SO MANY DOCTORS saying "we don't usually see this in people your size" before telling me to lose weight anyway, because ??? I did lose weight, way more than the recommended 5-10% of my bodyweight, and nothing got better. Also, lots of people on the subreddit were also already skinny when diagnosed or lost weight and had it get way worse or did nothing only for it to magically go into remission on it's own, and on top of that it's fucking idiopathic, so blaming weight is stupid if you don't know for sure what's causing it in the first place. (It's also apparently very common in "women who gain weight during their childbearing years" which uh. that's all women. and humans. almost all humans gain weight in their 20s and 30s, we don't stay what weight we were when we were 16 forever ffs, and it being more common in women is probably another reason why doctors are so shitty about it tbh.)
Diamox also has a lot of really awful side effects and isn't intended as a long-term medication. It makes my IBS worse, gives me random painful tingles all over my body, throws off my electrolyte balance so badly I have to work extra hard to stay hydrated so my blood doesn't turn acidic, it's a nightmare. It can also cause hair loss?? Apparently?? Which fucking sucks, and long term use puts you at risk of osteoarthritis. It does lower my CFS pressure, but it doesn't fix it and the downsides are only balanced by the whole "not suffering severe brain damage or going blind" thing. I cannot WAIT to stop taking it.
Anyway. My shit ass doctor put me on diamox, prescribed a migraine rescue medication that make me feel like complete shit, and told me to lose weight because getting a shunt would ruin my life. Her weight loss advice was to stop eating fruit and skip meals, and she didn't listen when I said I already don't eat much, so I just ignored her. I only lost weight because I found out I'm allergic to wheat and stopped eating it. Even after I lost weight she kept pushing weight loss, insisting another 5lbs would send me into remission even though I was almost as skinny as I was in high school, and refusing to even explain a shunt to me because she was certain it would ruin my life.
But anyway I ended up getting so sick of not being helped by my horrid neurologist(who has also treated me so badly I have honest to god trauma now) thst I dropped her and got in with a neurosurgeon who immediately was like "uh yeah if weight loss was going to help it would have by now, time to explore other options. Either a shunt, or a newer treatment, a stent to open up a specific vein in my head. They just needed to do a couple of tests to figure out which would be better.
So I got a MRV, a special kind of MRI to highlight the veins in my head, and it did show narrowing at a key spot that they see in IIH patients, so next I got a cerebral angiogram, which I won't explain bcs if you're squeamish it's not fun to hear about, look it up at your own risk, but they checked out the vein in my head and despite me having narrowing it was clear that the narrowing was caused by the IIH and it wasn't what was causing it in the first place, so stent wouldn't be helpful in my case, and thus I am now waiting for Jan 6th to get my shunt.
The shunt is actually fine, my old neurologist was being insane about it, it's going to get plugged into my lower spine, and essentially become a spigot for my CFS to drain out of. They can program it, and the fluid will just safely drip out into my abdominal cavity where my body will absorb it, which will relieve the pressure in my head and I'll be able to get off the diamox, I won't be at risk of blindness, and it might even make the headaches go away. I can also still get MRIs, I can get pregnant safely if I want, and while there can be complications it would mostly just be the tube getting clogged which can be fixed with a quick surgery, and if I magically go into remission or something else happens that necessitates removal that can be done no problem.
I'm very excited for the surgery. I know it's def risky, all surgeries are, but if it means not going blind and getting off the diamox I'll do it! I will probably still have to deal with some headaches, but this should help make them less intense or happen less often.
Anyway yeah I hope that helped! I don't really know about other uses for shunts but they really don't seem all that bad! It's honestly pretty interesting all things considered, and I hope this info was helpful or at least interesting to read o7
Stuck in the ER and god I cannot wait until my wheelchair is finished and delivered T-T the regular chairs here are angonizingly uncomfortable and getting around when I'm in this kind of pain sucks. But also the regular hospital wheelchairs are a nightmare and I can't get around on my own in them at all so ajdnfkgkglh
When will my wheelchair return from the manufacturers 😭😩
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Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available.
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community.
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author���s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company?
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists.
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits.
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people.
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it.
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
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COTL / TROD AU Reference Sheets and OC refs that I made a few months ago and have been using but forgot to post. The cloaks on Narinder and Lamb, and heights and clothing of the bishops are semi-outdated, but the OC height sheet is accurate.
+ Joon, Grekimar, and Jayen refs. There's character lore and relationship info for them under the cut, I'll get to the rest of them eventually:
Character lore, mainly for artfight purposes but putting it here too. Some of this character lore is already established in fic or on here, but may contain spoilers for Trod later on.
😺Joon (They/Them):
Born and raised in the Lamb's flock with little outside wordly experience, the Yellow Cat aka 'Joon' is the best farmer in the flock with an upbeat attitude and a easy-going, casual outlook on life. They're a hard worker and a harder napper, which lands them in a particular situation when a accidental nap inside a barn leads to them witnessing the Leader drag in a bloody, confused, volatile worm The Lamb shakily says was rescued from Darkwood, before reluctantly leaving them to the yellow cat's care. Which is fine, because if the leader says it's fine, then it's fine. Totally.
With their accidental involvement, Joon is assigned to be Leshy's 'caretaker', or really just a supervisor to make sure the worm doesn't do anything terrible and to report to the Lamb if he does anything weird, all without ever being truly told of the worm's true nature.
🐷Grekimar (He/Him):
Originally a heretic in Anura, Grekimar is a 'relatively' new cultist to the Lamb's Flock ('New' being a few years, but still not as long as other flock members.) Although the pig used to conduct violence and sacrifices in the God of Famine's name, he was welcomed to the Flock as a new member after he began to question the strength of the rule of dead god and was exiled. His arrival was met with scrutiny but was eventually welcomed as he's a hard worker, and surprisingly (due to his gruff demeanor), cares for his new home and it's peaceful rules over his prior home, including it's inhabitants.
When a three eyed cat arrives and threatens the saftey of his fellow flock, Grekimar becomes a dissenter and questions the Leader's decision, joining alliance with The Lamb's highest disciple, Tyren, to scheme and kill the cat in order to protect the flock.
🐻Jayen (He/Him):
A kindhearted and rather soft-spoken soul, Jayen is 'gentle giant' archtype character. Brought to the cult as a cub, Jayen is an anxious 'left-over' type, with no particular skills or qualities that are seemingly 'useful' to the flock or it's Leader, and he is very self-consious about this. Switching inbetween jobs and struggling to find his place among the cult's growing number, Jayen is decayed and killed by a furious Narinder in an attempt to pull him off of The Lamb when the cat's dramatic initial arrival happened. He is later revived, now traumatized and with a heightened fear of death.
Although his murderer walks free, the same cat had revived him as well, so Jayen holds no ill will and would rather simply leave it all behind and not think about it all. However, he is roped into a scheme to kill Narinder by Tyren and Grekimar, with the former using the bear's fears of death to pressure him into helping.
Tyren's, Grekimar's, and Jayen's relationships:
-While Tyren is a loyal disciple and Grekimar a regular dissenter, both found common ground in wanting to Kill Narinder, though their reasonings differ. Tyren wants to kill Narinder being an obstacle to the Lamb, while Grekimar wants to rid of him for concerns to protect the cult. While they can put aside their differences to achieve their goal, Tyren's methods will make Grekimar reconsider his alliance with the dog.
-Tyren pressures Jayen into working with him and Grekimar under the guise that if they do not kill Narinder, then the cat will eventually kill him again. If that tactic does not work, Tyren will subtly imply that he will use his status in the cult to undermine Jayen, and possibly exile him for being 'useless.'
-Grekimar thinks Jayen a coward, and while he'll pressure the bear to do as he is told, the pig is conflicted about getting the bear involved.
#trod au#the rehabilitation of death#cult of the lamb#cotl ocs#tyren oc#joon oc#grekimar oc#jayen oc#oc stuff#cotl bishops#cotl#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#doodles#tw slight blood#long post#<< adding that tag because why did my post cut disappear
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18+. mdni.
riding bf!mark because he doesn't give you enough attention :(
.
lately, mark seems to be always working, spending the majority of his time on his computer with his headphones covering his ears. he gets totally immersed in his work, and even though it’s a good thing, he also forgets about the world around him, including you.
mark sure gives you a lot of attention on a daily basis — with a high sex drive like his, he needs you all the time — but he can easily go a day without thinking about anything else other than his current project. he’s someone who’s very passionate about what he does.
so you miss him a lot on those days.
but honestly, if you want attention, you simply have to ask for it. mark isn’t difficult to convince, especially if it involves fucking.
“mark.”
upon hearing your voice calling him, he only answers a ‘yeah?’, not looking away from the screen in front of him. but feeling your hand laying down on his shoulders distracts him enough to glance your way and he’s surprised to see what you’re wearing, cock jumping in his shorts.
“what’s up?” he asks with raised eyebrows, trying to keep his cool, but his mind goes wild instantly. it really doesn’t take him a lot.
dressed in a satin robe, the long sleeves draping over your arms and the belt tied around your waist, you don’t answer him and instead pull his headphones off his head. you straddle his legs and sit on his lap.
“miss you,” you simply say.
“ah, i’m sorry. i- i’ve just been…” he pauses for a moment, watching your hands untying the knot of your robe. “caught up, with, um… work.”
“can you make some time for me, then?” you taunt, the knot now undone, nothing keeping your robe from opening and revealing your nude body underneath.
“of course, baby,” mark breathes out, satisfied to see you pulling the sides of the bathrobe apart, tits and stomach uncovered, naked pussy sitting right on top of his clothed cock. shit.
he can’t help himself from grabbing the back of your neck and bringing your lips to his, kissing feverishly. you moan into his mouth, hands on his chest, fumbling the fabric of his graphic tee between your fists.
he kisses you until you’re a disheveled mess, lips swollen and glossy from both of your saliva. you move your hips back and forth , basically humping his bulge, until you reach down to pull on his shorts, impatient to take his cock out.
he lets go of your lips when your hand wraps around his length, slumping down against the chair’s back. his glasses slip down his nose a little while he has his mouth open, letting out heavy breaths.
mark groans when you spit in the palm of your hand, smearing your saliva all over his cock, slowly pumping it to make it hard.
“gonna ride me, baby?” mark looks into your eyes, his lenses reflecting the ceiling light, eyebrow lifted up.
you grin, twisting your wrist, wanting his cock as hard as possible like you know it can be. rock hard, like he loves to tell you when he’s got a boner in the middle of the day for no apparent reason other than ‘was thinking about you’.
“yeah,” you confirm, “gonna make it wet and messy,” you tease, a small smile adorning your lips.
“you’d like that, hm? little minx,” he lightly chuckles, wetting his lips with his tongue, laying his big hands on your hips as you lift them up.
you bring his cock to your cunt, tapping his head against your clit and passing it through your wet pussy lips. with the curse he lets out, you know he’s pretty sensitive now. you can feel it; he’s heavy and hard, ready to be snuggled between your walls.
you slowly sink down on him, taking your time while he stretches you out deliciously. you both moan in unision, the feeling of him in you so familiar and addictive.
when you’re fully seated down on him, you start grinding your hips, his hands guiding you over his strong lap.
“fuck, yeah-” he frowns, clenching his jaw, “just like that, good job, baby…”
you only whine in response, rocking your hips back and forth, his cock covered in your slick, arousal dripping down his balls. your bodies moving make the leather of the chair creak underneath you, the skin of your knees sticking to it because of the heat and sweat.
his hands go further into your robe, grabbing your asscheeks firmly. he’ll probably leave the trace of his fingers on your flesh, but you really don’t care. you love wearing his marks.
you roll your hips over his lap vigorously, already out of breath, your chest heaving up and down rapidly. you remember that your tits are completely out when mark dives down, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking on it. the feeling makes you mewl, gripping the damp hair at the nape of his neck.
he shifts to your other breast, giving your nipple the same treatment. he leaves plenty of kisses there, too, especially on the valley between your tits. when he pulls away, your skin shines in his spit.
mark tries to suppress another groan from leaving his throat, but you hear it well and loud in your ear, letting you know he’s close. you clench around him, and he tightens his hold on your ass at that, nails digging into your soft, sweaty skin.
“mmm, baby,” he lets out an unbashful moan, throwing his head back before glancing at you, “you’re gonna be a good girl and take all of my cum, right?”
you nod your head, excited to have him filling you up good like he always does.
“yeah,” he mimics the movement of your head, grinning. “you love it, don’t you? love being my little cumdump,” he purrs, and his words literally drive you crazy.
“love being yours,” you reply back, riding his cock when he suddenly stops you from moving.
he raises his hips from the chair, thrusting up in you. he takes control over you, slapping his hips upward until his cock twitches, spurts of cum flooding your pussy. at the same time, you hide your face in the crook of his neck, waves of pleasure shooting through you as you cum around him.
his hips fall back down, now completely exhausted. his glasses fog up as he breathes out heavily, chasing the air back into his lungs.
you eventually lift up your hips and mark’s cock slips out of your sore pussy. he looks down, a little chuckle escaping his mouth.
“weren’t lying when you said you’d make it messy, hm?”
#nct smut#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct 127 smut#nct 127 x reader#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#mark smut#mark lee smut#mark lee x reader#nct hard hours
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Do NOT Support Hard Drive On Patreon
You might see friends today suggesting you support Hard Drive on Patreon today. You know, the funny video games version of The Onion? As a journalist, I will firmly tell you DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME.
The CEO has pushed out all former staff that have built the site up to its current greatness and has been pushing the use of AI. The staff begged to have a Patreon before basically all being pushed out, but the idea was refused until now, when it will only line the pockets of a single person instead of hard working writers.
I know they might have provided laughs before, but Hard Drive is a shell of what it was once. Let it die and support the people who actually made those moments of joy possible. Don't believe me? Check out what former employees are saying below:
Kevin Podas: Okay you know what, I would feel bad saying nothing about this, so here goes:🚨SAVE YOUR MONEY🚨
We passionately advocated for a Patreon at Hard Drive & were aggressively shot down. The talent & people who built the site were pushed out. To see this now is beyond upsetting. For the past few years or so I put a lot of myself into this website. I pitched a ton of jokes, got over 120 articles published, & met a lot of great people. I'm sure if you've been following me for some time you could easily see this.
However, there is a lot of misinformation. I was eventually promoted to Managing Editor of the site & was ecstatic. Grateful for the opportunity. Felt like all of my hard work in the comedy mines was finally paying off. But things took a turn for the worst, & each day there were new surprises that affected our livelihoods. These were all very avoidable surprises, mind you.
A patreon was going to be our hail mary, but alas, for some reason, the power that be did not want it. Causing us to leave a dream job behind. "At least we did all we could," we consoled ourselves afterwards. I put a lot of myself into this project. I pitched all sorts of ideas that could have helped-- we all did. Merch collaborations, Patreon-integrated YouTube content, so much more. And most of them were shot down out of sheer stubbornness and nothing more. To see lie after lie spread, and multiple big publications and YouTubers that I am a fan of promote this Patreon under these pretenses is incredibly upsetting. There are so many receipts.
Please share this and consider pulling out if you've already put money into this. On Hard Drive using AI, also from Kevin Podas: I can't personally confirm that part aside from some of the recent header images for articles on both Hard Drive and Hard Times are being made with AI. As far as writing, it's been mentioned in the past, but I personally do not know. Maybe others do, maybe not. MORE From Kevin Podas suggesting the owner denying a Patreon being set up earlier cost an artist a job that was replaced by AI: We had a social media person who was awesome! He made the images until this AI implementation. He had to leave because ad revenue was low and a Patreon was aggressively refused.
Luca Fisher: at the risk of burning some bridges, i have to back up kevin here. i've only been part-time, in-and-out of hard drive since i got in last year, but i can corroborate that management doubled and tripled down about not hosting a patreon/crowdfunding and that many other suggestions and ideas, including mine (and ones much smarter than mine!), were shot down in really long, apocalyptic threads of everyone left on deck desperately trying to come up with ways to keep the lights on. managerially it has been messy and sad
i've written for multiple publications that have long since died, ones that were in the process of dying, and ones that, in this case, are soon to be put in the ground. it is sad and sucks every time. i don't know what could have been done differently, but i do know that a lot of great writers and content creators were left shorthanded and unhappy by the way things have gone. and it is sort of puzzling to see the sudden championing of patreon after we were all told plenty of times that it couldn't work and we should move on also, just to add my own personal two cents here, i was really disappointed by the shuttering of many different article sections on the site over the past 6-8 months. i understand cutting corners in a deficit, and i know it had to be done. that said…
all in all, i'm really sad to see this all happen. i don't fault anyone, if only because i don't really know enough about how this all can happen to make sense of it. games journalism is in a sad, sorry state, and will likely no longer be a thing in the next decade
VideoSealMan: I'm gonna say this because I think I deserve to. For months, MONTHS on end I was bugging Hard Drive management about a Patreon. Often I got ignored for a week+, but when I actually got a response I was encouraged to - of all things, write up a Google Doc pitching the concept I did it regardless. I wasn't the only one trying to sway management on a Patreon, but so fiercely was I fighting for it that last night, I was accused of making this comment directly by the CEO! With no evidence whatsoever! After I'd been gone for over a month.
I vouched so hard for Patreon because I wanted all the writers and creatives working with Hard Drive including myself to get paid better. When I actually got a response, the idea was often shut down. Eventually due to the state of my company, my pay was cut for a second time I confronted management alongside a couple other important figureheads at the org and told them that if we couldn't do a Patreon - I could no longer financially justify staying there. The answer was still no, so I left. Baffled at the decision, but whatever.
It is unendingly frustrating to know that myself and many other people who put their soul into Hard Drive LEFT because of management's absolute refusal to compromise on a Patreon, to then see them launch one anyway a month later and get over 1000 people pledging money. I'm seeing a lot of things float around about greed and people being fired. No one was fired. Everyone who left, left because they were sick of management's decision-making. And honestly, management is a lot of things but I would not call them greedy. (From my experience.) They did genuinely make an effort to pay people as much as possible. I found the pay very fair for a while. I am not disputing that I was paid what I was owed - yet management frequently feels the need to remind critics of that. Lmao, yes. I was paid what I was owed. No one is disputing payment. You did the bare minimum a business owner should do and paid everyone their due, very well done. I make no allegations of greed, cheating or foul play. I make allegations of poor management and incompetence that has fucked over other people.
Basically the only people left at Hard Drive have been there for about 2 months. They will reap the rewards of this successful Patreon I and so many others passionately fought for for so long. We will not see a dime.
I do not know the new people at Hard Drive, But I feel bad for them. They were haphazardly thrust into Hard Drive's workplace with little to no explanation on how anything works, or given any context on the state of the place. Even now managements feeds them half-truths and misinformation about other people's grievances. I am broke and have been for a while. I had to move out of my flat in Reading and back with my family because of how little money I was making. This has basically doomed my flatmate to moving back in with abusive parents, which is something I feel guilty about every day. If we had gone with the Patreon I worked myself hoarse over back then, this could have been avoided. Some of my other good pals could also not have been fucked over.
It was a bad judgment call, but it's not a crime. It's just management getting it wrong.
So should you give to the Hard Drive Patreon? I don't know! I don't think any of the new people working there to patch up the holes left by the recent mass exodus have any bad intentions. Maybe they deserve it! But it is not the same site you knew a year ago, or even a month ago. Myself and many people who were there far longer than me and did far more for it than I did are all gone now because we could not deal with management's terrible decision-making and dogass communication any longer. That's what you should know, imo
I had an agreement in place with management that I would receive the next 8 months of revenue from the Hard Drive YT channel from my leaving in November. This was a deal I appreciated, and thought was very fair on management's behalf. So far, the deal has been honoured for 2 months. However as of last night I was removed from the Hard Drive Slack without warning, and as an editor for the YouTube channel. This means I no longer have any way of verifying how much I am owed, I just have to take their word for it. I'm sure management will make their own statements full of half-truths and weird language on the many cases being brought against them - I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt if some of the screenshots I've seen of them talking about me are any indication lol
To management; I do not want to talk to you. I want you to DM me a screenshot of how much I'm owed every month and then send me the money per our agreement until June, then we can go our separate ways. Do that and admit to your mistakes, and maybe you can recover your reputation! That's it from me, lol. If they pull out of the deal and fuck me over I'll have more to say, but most of what I know is other people's stories of incompetence and poor decision-making, lol. I genuinely get no pleasure out of doing this; I do not think management is evil - I just think they're really bad at what they do and it's cost other, more talented people, lol. You should believe the writers imo
One last thing I wanna say btw, management did often stress that no one should try to make Hard Drive a full time thing. They were transparent about that, and that is fair. I was working on it because at a few points, I was lead to believe we actually were doing a Patreon. Many other ppl have similar stories of being strung along by management changing their minds and stop-starting shit every 2 weeks. We all made the fatal mistake of overestimating our manager - who would tell you one thing one day and something totally opposite the next week lol
Hunter R. Thompson:
I'm not your dad, but speaking as a Hard Drive writer, I don't know that funding Hard Drive on Patreon is worth it
The driving talent on the back end—behind the kickass site I joined in 2019—have peaced out over the years as the site's been (in our view) increasingly mismanaged. Mismanagement like, not setting up crowdfunding before the ship sank and all its best crew failed; or publishing a screenshot of Andy Ngo pedojacketing a trans writer, complete with her deadname; or a disgruntled ex-writer getting falsely accused of shit-talk, by actual staff. I'm grateful for the writing I've gotten to produce for HD (and will forever be kicking myself for not writing even more, in the four years I've had to do it!! i'm a dumbass!!!) but it is very much no longer the site I signed up for.
I don't want to resign as a contributor altogether, because I'm open to the idea of the site recovering and bad practices being retired as finances level out-- it would just be dishonest for potential backers to not be Aware Of The Circumstances, I think.
Jeremy Kaplowitz: i truly don't want to start shit, but feel compelled to say: i want to see Hard Drive succeed w/o resorting to throwing former writers & editors, myself included, under the bus. surely there's a way to save the site without building it over the corpses of those who left. my $0.02 i don't blame anyone who wants to sign up for the HD patreon and i support the website, but that includes those who worked on it for years, have complaints, and don't deserve to be treated like bitter assholes like this kind of stuff is just objectively true, meanwhile there's these new writers who joined the site after i left (meaning, in the last ~3 months) claiming people are liars. decide for yourself if you care, but this is what happened! [Quotes this Tweet]
Seth Finkelstein: Writing for Hard Drive has been a privilege the past few years, and it makes me so angry to see people I looked up to get jerked around behind the scenes. The amount of grenades the editors jumped on our behalf is immense, and I don't think the way they're being treated is right.
Other Bits On AI: We do know for sure however that AI art has been used by the site. Its fucking owner confirms it here:https://twitter.com/MattSaincome/status/1743040541603123622. Seems the owner pushed AI written articles as well! TayFabe: My vaguetweet is making the rounds & these made me apoplectic. - owner regularly lobbied using ai. Once he tested it & said ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. - ai images were used on the site & socials w/o consulting the team or disclosing it publicly I found the ai bit relevant to include bc 1) it illuminates a stark change in HD's current direction & leadership, 2) ai images have previously been used on the site and (since deleted) ig posts, 3) ai content fucking sucks, and repeatedly pushing to use it is a telling quality The "handful of writers who chose to leave" includes 2 editors-in-chief (both cofounders who wrote a combined total of >1,000 articles & defined the voice of HD), & at least 3 other editors. These guys put in WORK since 2017, so cool to be corrected by ppl who joined in Nov 2023 [Link to mentioned vague tweet from post.] More from TayFabe: owner continuously lobbied for using ai in every possible way. No one else wanted to do it, but he kept on, saying ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. Also, ai images were used on the site & socials without public disclosure or consulting the team.
The owner has responded now multiple times in a private discord... Thank you for people sharing screenshots! First Screenshot:
Kevin's Response: He banned me from the server for speaking out, so no, I didn't see it. And he gave no indication of a timeline, it was just "we'll do one when *I* say so" and gave every inclination he was totally against it. It bred an environment that pushed our hands to have to leave. Screenshot Round Two:
Kevin's Response: "Starting one in 3 months" is an absolute lie. He denied it, I have screenshots and others who can confirm. No timeline was given. Just "this is what it is now" and like, I couldn't live off of that. I wanted to do more but he was allergic to good ideas from others around him.
Matt, owner of Hard Drive, responds publicly on Twitter.
Matt: Kevin, the patreon launch was delayed because I didn't think it would work. Everyone is happy that it did work. Everyone who left the site because we didn't have money to pay for creative content which didn't revenue is welcome to return home. But unclear why the hostility.
Hard Drive paid out literally every dollar it had, then a bunch more, to creative people who worked on the site. When we ran out of money, we couldn't pay anymore. We did our best.
Kevin: Right, and my point of this thread was that it was completely and totally avoidable. This is reasonable to be upset about. How could I have been any more clear?
Matt: If we knew with 100% certainly that the community would have supported us via patreon, we would have done that. We didn't know. We had tried 4 years ago and got no support. We were wrong this time. We did our best to figure it out. We paid all the money we could.
Kevin: So you knew with 100% certainty this time? Or you took a leap of faith?
Matt: It was a last gasp panic effort after ad rates got cut in half on january 1st due to seasonal spending changes. We didn't know it would work. We were embarrassed to ask for support. We wanted to figure it out.
Kevin: Every site has a Patreon. Every YouTuber, comedy group, etc. But you insisted that nobody cared about Hard Drive. Which is wildly untrue. I know you see that now, but again, I think you can see why I and many others are pretty upset. A last ditch panic effort was long overdue. A couple more things from Matt:
It was about the size of the hole we needed plugged budget wise, the time I had left of personal resources, and the past data I had about us trying a patreon (which turned out to be a bad indicator). I didn't think the Patreon would help us fast enough. I made a bad estimation
aka "if we make $1000 more dollars a month via patreon, which would be 10x what we got last time, we will not solve any of our problems. If instead we try to plow down path B, we might make it out in time." That was the thinking. I chose the wrong path, but didn't mean to Kevin also retweeted this comment from the user Matt was responding to: So you're saying that you're bad at running the business, didn't listen to any of your employees until after they were forced to leave their jobs, and now you're going to get more of the money from the Patreon that was their idea in the first place? Matt's Response: Respectfully, I made a mistake delaying the patreon decision. But keeping a comedy site alive for 9 years is not easy, there are lots of potential ideas, and think overall we've done a good and honorable job. Will leave this thread in peace now to allow people their space.
Sorry for linking to Elon's hellsite (derogatory), but sources need links so...
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Have you already answered how you think hyung line sounds in bed? If not, who moans, whines, grunts, etc? You can also add jungwon to this if you want!
☆ jay:
directed moans for the most part but there may be an occasional whimper. It's not really a needy whimper but more of a "it feels so good I can't control the sounds I make" type of whimper. I like to think he's very in control of his thoughts for the most part [not always], to the point he moans intentionally to praise you for how good you feel. But when he's focused on the feeling and not on you specifically, Jay grunts, holds his breath, lets out long and exhausted sounding sighs when he feels good. And honestly they'd sound so good that I think they'd leave a pit in your stomach that urges you to pull more out of him. He's sensual whether he's subbing, domming, bottoming, or topping. Always with the need to take care of someone else...to the point he probably doesn't give his own horny sounds much attention. But mannnnnnn, jay would absolutely be panting and whining if you praise him for how good he feels and sounds. idk, i like to think you'd both get off on the sounds, and make more of them just to gain praise. like you'd lose your fucking minds together.
★ jake:
whining, panting, drooling, choking, stuttering. i do see jake as a dom for the most part for very particular reasons but i don't think he is able to control himself when it comes to getting his dick wet. he can be pathetic, of course, but he will always sound pathetic whether he's acting the part or not. you will always be covered in his saliva and cum because of how he is, and how badly he wants to get off on/in/to you. jake loses his goddamn mind every time, no matter how quick or small an intimate situation may be. fr, he looks just as fucked out being edged for 6 hours as he would just getting a quick hand job under a dinner table at a restaurant. rest assured though, you know he wants you not only with the way he fucking begs even if he's choking you, but with the way he moves his body just as desperately. In other words, jake is desperate for power but has no idea what to do with it, so he cries.
☆ sunghoon:
mostly holding his breath, letting out deep, guttural groans and choked out sounds that can only be heard when he's right against your ear. always whispers and gentle touches despite the way his hips fuck painfully. Sunghoon is definitely the type to keep himself under control and intentionally try to have you babbling and mumbling incoherently in his ear. he does not want to drown out your pleasure with his own. still, he'd know how much you love his sounds, so when he notices you relaxing too much, or enjoying yourself too much, he will be sure to tense your body right back up so he can feel that pussy squeeze him so tight just because he breathed a little too deeply in your ear. he's very sensual, makes every fuck feel like he's making love where sounds and words are barely comprehended because you're so in the moment with him. half of the time you don't even notice his moans because his eyes are so dark yet shining while he looks at you mid-fuck. additionally, he buries himself deep, it's hard to imagine you think at all when he's fucking you.
★ heeseung:
all the sounds, all the dirty talk, everything. I'd like to say though, that if heeseung whimpers, it's solely to get your attention and not at all because he's pleading for you to clench that pussy around him. every sound is a tease, and he'd definitely hold it against you. why? can't let pretty girl know how good he's feeling, right? after all, if you feel like you need to work harder to make him release sounds, you'll only end up fucking harder, harder, harder, until your legs are shaking and he can take full control and replace all those fake ass sounds with the real ones. deep guttural words of how lost you are on him, little praises disguised as dirty words and mockings of your behavior. his sounds are to make you chase and nothing more, up until he fills you up and you're nearly crying and begging for praise. he'd give in only to genuine moans when you're so far gone you barely can hear him.
#enhypen smut#heeseung smut#sunghoon smut#sim jaeyun smut#park jongseong smut#jay smut#jake smut#enhypen hard hours
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Avo please I need Pregnant reader x DP&W headcanons 😩 I love both these men so much. I just wanna a little life with them. These men have been through so damn much. Let them have some softness in their life.
I don’t really want kids but good lord- if they asked me too, I would push out an entire hockey team for them
Wade is so fucking happy when you tell him you're pregnant. They've been trying to knock you up for ages now, about damn time it worked!
Logan is pleased too but he's a little more... reserved about it. Doesn't want to run around telling everyone like Wade does. It's hard for him to embrace happiness, because he's so used to it slipping through his fingers. Get past your first trimester and he's able to start smiling about it though.
Expect to always be sitting down. If you get up to do something, one of them will be gently guiding you back to your seat. "Sweetie you sit your fine pregnant ass right back down, I'll get whatever you need. Soda? Chips? A whole tub of Ben & Jerry's?" or a softer, "Stay there baby, I'll grab it."
One of them is always with you, like a fucking guard dog. They're dangerous men after all, who knows who might be looking for them? Usually you can handle yourself but they have an extra reason to worry now.
Al makes it very clear she does not want a baby in the apartment (can you blame her?) so you have to find a new home. It's an added stress for you so the boys usually go out scouting. Eventually you're able to find a cute little place to afford with the three of you (being in a polycule is the only way to make rent these days)
You love to spend those days doing up baby's room and singing silly little songs as you do it. "Am I gonna paint your nursery green or yellow, who knows... ♫" If one of them catches you, they'll lean against the doorframe and watch you with absoloute heart-eyes.
Logan's been around for long enough that he's had experience with young kids before, so when you or Wade panic about something, he's usually the one to temper it. Reminds you that you'll both be fine.
Wade never shuts the fuck up talking to your bump. Truly, a stream of consciousness about the world to baby. Gets little Deadpool onesies for them too, because he thinks they're cute. Logan is quieter, hand on your belly, a quiet few sentences just so they know that he has a voice and it's not just Wade.
They're pretty good when you go into labour. Wade panics a bit but Logan hits him with a look which implies that now is not the time, and he buckles down. Delivery goes smoothly. It's great to have two guys who can heal their bones when you need to grip down on something as you push.
And when you get home? Crib is barely used. Baby is pretty much always in someone's arms: Wade's who's always babbling to baby's delight; Logan's solid embrace as he hums quietly; against your chest as you whispered how loved they are.
taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13 @na-is-salty @florduarte @hunterispunk @starfleetteddybear
#my writing#james logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#wolverine x reader#x men x reader#logan howlett imagine#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel fanfiction#mcu fanfiction#mcu imagine#wolverine fanfiction#mcu fandom#Deadpool x reader#wade wilson x reader
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in the morning light [part 2]
[part 1 here!]
synopsis - what it's like sharing a bed with them
includes - dr. ratio, ruan mei, argenti, kafka, blade, luocha, jing yuan, jiaoqiu
warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, i still have no clue what im doing, might be ooc, wc - 1.2k
a/n: absolutely blown away at how many people enjoyed the first part, so uhh here you go? maybe a genshin ver in the future if i get round to it and if people want it?
dr ratio ★↷
↪an absolute stickler for a proper routine, and an advanced one at that - he has high standards to uphold and never misses a step before bed and in the morning. he wouldn't mind of you did yours alongside him but he probably won't notice you for long. a major part is obviously his baths, he would not go a day without one.
↪sometimes he can join you in bed quite late, he either has students work to mark or simply cannot put his own work down. even when he joins you he probably falls asleep after you as he likes to indulge in late night reading.
↪a sort of mix between comfy and basic when it comes to his actual bed, it's simplistic yet extremely comfortable - in the morning it's pretty difficult to leave with how cozy it can be.
↪doesn't really move alot in his sleep, the occasional shuffle but not much. he isn't exactly a cuddler but if you want to he doesn't mind at all. however because he doesn't move much, if you two fall asleep cuddling then he needs to wake up first - which is normal - otherwise you're trapped in his embrace.
↪most mornings he does wake up super early and leaves quite early as well - he always gives you a kiss on your forehead before he leaves. on the rare days he has off, he stays in bed with you until you wake up and whenever your ready, he gets ready alongside you.
ruan mei ★↷
↪she is an extreme night owl. her lab work often keeps her very busy and if she starts a train of thought then she can't rest until she's seen it out to the fullest. most nights she does encourage you to not wait up for her for this very reason - ruan mei greatly appreciates if you do however.
↪her routine is either short or rather extensive, it just depends on how much time she has. morning routines are much longer more consistently as she tends to wake up rather early.
↪usually her bed is rather basic but you seemed to have contaminated it with what you prefer but she doesn't mind in the slightest. if you like her cat cake creations then she may have gifted you a few custom ones to keep you company.
↪surprisingly can be quite the fidgeter in her sleep, not drastic movements but she's just used to being busy. again, not exactly a cuddler but isn't against it if you wish as she knows she isn't around much so would indulge you.
↪most days when you wake up she isn't there but there's always a small note from her to you that is extremely heartfelt.
argenti ★↷
↪the most extravagant routine you've ever seen, the knight of beauty very clearly has a great routine for both mornings and nights. enjoys when you do yours alongside him and will always find time to do so.
↪he still looks pristine in the morning when he first wakes up, it's hard to believe he just woke up. although it may be helped by the fact that he has the most elegant bed that is very hard to leave in the morning.
↪not much of a mover but he can adjust quite a bit sometimes in his sleep. and if you're okay with it, he wants nothing more than to hold you in his embrace for the entire night. argenti is somewhat of a light sleeper however, so if you move alot then he easily wakes up but doesn't mind.
↪sometimes he has to leave early, sometimes he doesn't. it depends on whether or not he has a duty to fulfill but does get up early nonetheless. most days he'd let you sleep but if you need to get up he always wakes you with a kiss and a compliment.
kafka ★↷
↪being a stellaron hunter doesn't always allow for a proper nights rest but most times it does. however kafka cares quite a bit about such things and so when she can, she'll take the opportunity for a good night's sleep.
↪she's used to sleeping in bare minimum conditions but if she could choose, kafka would prefer more comfortable arrangements. so she's very accommodating to what you'd prefer to have your shared bed like.
↪enjoys taking time with a night time routine but sometimes she can't but isn't that fussed so long as she gets the bare minimum done. she would love if you joined her but again wouldn't mind if you're not that keen on such extensive routines.
↪she can be rather clingy - on purpose. kafka loves nothing more than relaxing with you in her arms and won't let up until she's content. the only time she needs to wake up is when she's executing one of elio's scripts so good luck escaping her grasp otherwise.
blade ★↷
↪again, being a stellaron hunter doesn't always allow for a proper nights rest but most times it does. although blade doesn't exactly have the greatest sense of having a good night's sleep.
↪absolute bare minimum for a routine, he doesn't exactly see why it should be anything more but fortunately kafka's influence has caused him to have some care. you're almost jealous that he can do bare minimum and still look like he does.
↪also goes for bare minimum when it comes to sleeping arrangements, he doesn't care what his bed's like. so he doesn't exactly care what you'd prefer as he would just go along with it.
↪when he does sleep, he sleeps like the dead. he barely moves to the point that sometimes you're convinced he's not even there, the only indicator that he's actually alive is the occasional twitch in his hands.
↪unfortunately, he can be prone to his mara-struck condition flaring up in his sleep which may take some getting used to seeing but he takes it upon himself to sleep elsewhere id he knows it is likely to happen to avoid scaring you.
↪prefers to have his own side of the bed and isn't a cuddler. after a very long while, he might indulge you if you are a cuddler but not always. he's also an extremely light sleeper that wakes up super early.
luocha ★↷
↪as a travelling merchant, he doesn't tend to stay in one place for long, so you would most likely travel with him. due to this, he isn't exactly fussed with where he sleeps and is used to bare minimum. he wouldn't mind in the slightest of you decide to change a few things however.
↪nightly and morning routines are important to him. he needs to maintain appearances and so can have rather extensive routines that he wouldn't mind you joining him with.
↪another light sleeper and sometimes you forget he's there because he barely moves. he's perfectly fine with cuddling and fine with not, although sometimes he does prefer his space.
↪never really has anywhere to go in a rush unless he knows he has people to meet or things to do, but he still wakes up early. however he normally would wait for you to wake up as he likes to start his day with you.
jing yuan ★↷
↪the dozing general has that title for a reason. despite the fact that he practically is on the verge of falling asleep most of the time during the day, he sleeps alot. it can be under any condition at any time but he does have a tendency to indulge in comfort.
↪has an extremely comfortable bed that is normally also occupied by mimi and so it can get very warm, very quickly which is a pain in the summer. this isn't really helped by the fact that he is extremely clingy, like to the max.
↪he always states that he sleeps better when his body is entangled with yours and knowing you're safe there with him, but he will respect if you aren't that much of a cuddler.
↪unfortunately he moves around a lot and because he's clung to you, you move with him. sometimes you two end up upside down at the foot of the bed and it baffles you that he can move that much. he is also an extremely heavy sleeper in your shared bed so good luck escaping him - when he's dozing at work he is a light sleeper however.
↪most days he does have to drag himself out of bed to work but aeons save you if he has a rare dayoff. you're never leaving if he doesn't let you as he forces you to let him indulge in your presence while he gets a lie-in. if you have somewhere to be he reluctantly lets you go but very stubbornly.
↪the worst bed hair you've ever seen, he always looks like he's been through it and spends ages sorting his hair. this paired with his actual morning routine means he takes ages getting ready. his night time routine is shorter as he knows it's rendered useless overnight.
jiaoqiu ★↷
↪he cares about his appearance as he does have quite the reputation to uphold and so his routines are always important and extensive - especially when managing his tail and ears to ensure that they aren't messy.
↪also goes all out for his bed, he knows what helps get a better night's sleep and he prefers to get the best sleep he can. so he might be a bit hesitant to let you change most of it but he's willing to compromise.
↪the absolute worst when it comes to sleeping, he's annoying, he knows it, and takes it in pride. has to be cuddled up to you and he wraps his tail over you to ensure that you don't go anywhere unless you have to. he barely moves but his tail is the menace mainly - it flicks and moves around alot and often ends up in your face.
↪normally wakes up relatively early and will wake you up if you need to. mentioned this before but, he will wake you up earlier if you braid his usual braid as he enjoys having you do so - he has absolutely no remorse for doing so. although if he has time, he will make breakfast for the two of you.
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn
#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader#x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr ratio#hsr dr ratio#dr ratio x reader#ratio x reader#hsr ruan mei#ruan mei x reader#hsr argenti#argenti x reader#hsr kafka#kafka x reader#hsr blade#honkai star rail blade#blade x reader#hsr luocha#honkai star rail luocha#luocha x reader#hsr jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#hsr jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x you
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Butch up that Elf: my Marcille manifesto
TBQH, this came into being because the Falin "dragoness" fanart rewired my brain completely. It's sillytimes, but we're going to make a serious argument: trying out being a little butch would Fix Her.
1. Marcille Gender Discomfort
Now, Marcille LOVES feminity. She loves playing dressup, she loves elaborate gowns, she spends her free time going to the spa - the absolute last thing I want is to deny that. However, there's also a definite vibe that this isn't just a preference. Specifically, the way that she pushes Falin towards femininity suggests that she isn't comfortable with gender nonconformity in the people around her.
If this was something she was 100% confident about ("I'm doing this for myself and nobody else!") surely what other people do wouldn't be a big deal? Of course, you can read this as a little bit of solipsism; "what works for me must work for you too! I think this is so cute and would suit you - wouldn't you agree?"
But for the sake of this argument, all I'm trying to suggest is that gender nonconformity (and probably sexual nonconformity... well, frankly, any kind of sexuality at all) is unlikely to be something that's on Marcille's "radar". She hasn't tried out other ways of presenting and decided she doesn't like them. I do think she'd be a very flamboyant butch - "ouji lolita" vibes, you know? It's a whole new set of wardrobe options she could play dress-up in, even.
After the story ends, she starts dressing like her mother in all black, which makes sense - her mother was also a court magician, so she's probably emulating her in order to project confidence and authority. But I can't say I think she should stick with this. Break away and be your own person, Marcille! Try a fancy waistcoat and frilled jacket!
2. Haircut
This is another potential hard sell, I'm sure. The people she loves doing her hair is a cute symbol of their care for her, and her hair is key to her magic - so there's plenty of reason for her to keep it long. But like... think practically. Having someone do your hair every morning, for the whole of her long life, while it gets messier over the day (because she can't remember to keep it neat)... That's got to be such a pain. My hair gets messy when I put a hoodie on. And I have short hair.
It would require her to go through a change of mind, and probably a little more growth in how secure she feels in her relationships, but - the hairdo's a symbol. The more important thing is the relationships themselves. Eventually I think there might be something liberating about cutting it off, even if she might eventually decide to grow it out again.
The lion, her trauma, took something away from her which was really important to her. The people around her are able to make that easier, and make up for it, and soften that loss, but... Mithrun isn't the person he was before, you know? He's a new person. The relationship he has with his brother is new, and I don't know if it's one that the person he was before could have had. If Falin hadn't died, they wouldn't have gone on that wonderful adventure! They wouldn't have met Senshi or saved Izutsumi and Laios and Marcille wouldn't have gotten so close. So I think it's totally congruent with the themes of the story that the burning away of this part of Marcille's self might eventually create the potential for new growth in a new direction, not clinging onto the parts that are gone.
This also isn't totally out of the norm for elven mages - both Otta and Flamela have short hair. Otta is canonically butch, and potentially Flamela reads that way to elves too, but the point is it clearly is possible to be an accomplished mage without long hair.
3. Desiring (to be) a chivalrous prince
Marcille's succubus is clearly General Halleus from her favourite book series, the Daltian Clan. The fact that this is her ideal man.... it certainly plays into readings of her as Not Straight. But at least, this conveys the way her conception of sex and romance is strongly idealised, dissociated from the bodily and from physical desire.
There are many ways to interpret that, including thinking about what types of desire this fixation is obstructing because she is not comfortable with it, but I am going to focus here on what this desire does signify. She likes the trappings of courtly romance, and is clearly comfortable putting herself in the role of the princess, being taken away on a white horse by a noble (but tormented; eyepatch has "death" on it lmao) prince. (Though I think he's actually the token male lead who isn't royalty; he's a General. There's always one in Romfan, lmao. IYKYK)
A kiss on the hand - this is so chaste, I think it's clear it's more about desire to play a role in a dynamic than it is about desire in a physical sense. There is undoubtedly a big part of Marcille that wants to be a beloved and chased-after princess, but I think it isn't at all impossible that she'd also enjoy being the powerful, cool, and chivalrous "prince" to someone (a pretty girl, perhaps) who needs her protection.
This is a little silly, because it's clearly just aping the shoujo artstyle that articulates basically the same idea as her succubus, that Marcille is attached to highly abstracted and idealised romantic (and Romantic) tropes and ideas. But the imaginary "successful" Marcille from chapter 4 looks quite similar to her succubus. (Another thing I noticed is that in the fantasy she has sharp ears... like full elves have. Despite what she says, I think the cultural messaging that this trait is "attractive" and hers are inferior got to her at least a bit. 😥)
Also, the way that she treats Falin, scolding her indulgently, trying to look after her and wanting to be looked up to and respected by her... that aligns more with the "masculine" role in the trope that her succubus is referencing. "What are we going to do with you...?" I can imagine her saying this to Falin, word for word. Whereas, if anyone real started talking down to her, even affectionately, I don't think she'd like it, given the negative way she reacts when people don't respect her or her skills. Especially after canon, given the way the Winged Lion was treating her.
Her attitude to Falin is partially down to her reluctance to acknowledge Falin as an adult, who is independent and can grow beyond her and leave her behind. But I think even as they move on from that unhealthy dynamic, Marcille is still going to get pleasure from feeling capable, reliable, able to look after and protect Falin. She'd like to pull the chair out for her in a restaurant on a date, you know?
4. Conclusion
Even after the growth she goes through during the story, there are parts of Marcille's character that are very much obstructed. Romance, sexuality, and gender, feel like one of those to me. The way that her discomfort with the messy origins of food betrayed a deeper, more significant discomfort with the cycles of life and death.
Much in the same way, I'd argue that the simplified, idealistic, and safely fantastical way that she views romance, as well as her very "safe" gender presentation and tendency to push it onto others as well, suggest an underlying discomfort in her own gender and sexuality. The character growth she goes through leaves her in a place where it may be possible to safely re-evaluate her relationship with Falin, as well as her choice of clothing and hairstyle, both things that go through a change at the end of the manga. Neither, I think, reach a sustainable stopping point that we see - there will be a point when it's more servants doing her hair than friends, just out of practicality, because they're all going to be so, so busy. The black clothing to copy her mum is cute, but once she gets some more self-confidence in her own skills as a court magician, I think she'll move on from it. And... who knows what direction her relationship with Falin will develop, over the years? I'm rooting for them, anyway.
In all those cases, I think moving outside of the things she's done before, into something really different from the things that are "safe" and expected, will be the most rewarding path for her. Like in the dungeon, things that she would initially reject were actually able to sustain her and broaden her tastes. She loves dressing up, looking after people, and "princely romance". So I say: Butch Marcille! It'll be good for her!!
#og post#marcille donato#falin x marcille#farcille#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi meta#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dunmeshi
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