#I wonder what that makes Fjord feel

[termagax]

i hate to make the cr thing sound like a dumb ship war but they canonically had beauregard confess to being in love with her best friend, the party member she was objectively closest to and had the best chemistry with, to whom she was the turning point for her entire major character arc, and then immediately walked it back to pair them up with the characters they flirted with in episode 1 and had no chemistry with. and then spent the rest of the series making arguably lesbiphobic jokes about it.

[gwendolynnderolo]

critical role ships as hozier songs

vax / keyleth : francesca

percy / vex : work song

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

fjord / jester : nobody

beau / yasha : as it was

caleb / essek : from eden

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

orym / dorian : like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

specific lyrics that i feel like represent the pairings under the cut!

vax / keyleth : francesca

how could you think, darling, i'd scare so easily?

my life was a storm, since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?

if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again

it was too soon, when that part of you was ripped away

i would not change it each time, heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i

percy / vex : work song

when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her

and i was burning up a fever, i didn't care much how long i lived

but i swear, i thought i dreamed her, she never asked me once about the wrong i did

if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

in the low lamplight, i was free, heaven and hell were words to me

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

she moved with shameless wonder, the perfect creature rarely seen

her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me

wondering who i copy, mustering some tender charm

breaking if i try conveying, the broken love i make to her

fjord / jester : nobody

i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint, i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave

but i've had no love like your love from nobody

if i had the choice between hearing either noise, the excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice

and on the other side, why should we deny the truth? we could have less to worry about, honey, i won't lie to you

beau / yasha : as it was

and in a few days i will be there, love, whatever here that's left of me is yours, just as it was

the lights were as bright as my baby, but your love was unmoved

tell me if, somehow, some of it remains, how long you would wait for me and how long i've been away

the shape that i'm in now, your shape in the doorway, make your good love known to me or just tell me about your day

and the nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too

caleb / essek : from eden

there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?

honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago

innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, i should know

there's something broken about this, but i might be hoping about this

a rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

give your heart and soul to charity, cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves?

if i was born as a blackthorn tree, i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies

ain't it the life of you, your lightning of the blaze?

orym / dorian : like real people do

i will not ask you where you came from, i will not ask and neither should you

i know that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago

honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

i knew well from our first hookup, the look of mischief in your eyes

your friends are a fate that befell me, hell is the talking type, i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

honey, i laugh when it sinks in, a pillar i am, upright

now that the evening is slowing, now that the end's in sight, honey, it's easier knowing what you'd do to me tonight

oh, let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised and that kind of love

[lovifie]

Hiii 🩷

I really loved your ‘Mr & Mrs. Price’ story where his partner he is marrying is younger than him! I was wondering if you had anymore of those stories?

If not, I was wondering if you could write a little after they get married sort of thing. Like would they have kids right away, etc.

Thank you!!

Hi love!! 🩷🩷 Thank you for asking so nicely 💕

At the moment I don't have anything else written for Price and her younger wife, so I'll write you a little bit of what I thought would happen after the wedding.

A continuation to Mr. & Mrs. Price

Suggestive | 730 words | Back to Masterlist

The first thing would be the honeymoon, and Price gives me the vibes to go somewhere cold, like the Norwegian Fjords (? I don't know why, he just does. Constantly clinging to his wife like: "I'm cold, dear. Can't you see?" Only to sneaky get his hands under your clothes.

Friends and family complain about how little photos you took, but it's just because most of what you took, were taken inside your room. So many, so many pictures of his hand on your body, the gold band on his finger shining on all of them.

So much fluffy/dirty talk. "My dear, wifey... See? I told you I was going to marry you one day, and look at you, Mrs.Price... so fucking beautiful under me..."

Neither of you are surprised when a couple of months later you get a positive pregnancy test.

"We used protection..." Price says, as if that would change something.

"Yeah... Until we run out, Mr. I Pulled Out." You say.

Having a child so quickly after the wedding was neither of your plans, but Price was already talking about taking a step back from the dangerous mission and for some reason neither of you were panicking after the news.

It was a weird feeling, at first at least. But on the doctor appointment, when you hear the little alien's heartbeat it was set. Price's hand holding yours, the whole way back home.

He did step back from the dangerous mission, working at base helping the recruits and helping on the small missions, not wanting to be far from you. So he spent his working hours at base, and one day he forgot some documents at home and asked if you could bring them to him.

So you did.

You grabbed the folder, and drove your pregnant self to base.

Ghost was the one who saw you first, almost as you stepped off the car. And he was immediately on your side, stunned when he saw your belly.

"Are you..." He asked, not wanting to be rude; looking from your stomach to your face.

You quickly nod, the man's eyebrows disappearing under his mask. He took the folder from your hands, as if it was a heavy piece of furniture you were holding making you laugh. "Congratulations... That's what people say, right?"

You nod again, holding onto his arm to ease his mind as you walk towards Price's office. Small talk about how you were planning a baby shower and if he would like to assist, the panic clear on his face making you chuckle again.

"I'm pulling your leg, Simon. I'll send you a message with the important news." You say, patting his arm.

"And I will be forever grateful for it." He says, slowly falling in a comfortable chat with you.

Gaz and Soap walk out of Price's office just as you turn the corner. Both their expression of shock.

"Captain!" Soap calls him, annoyed with just finding out. "Ye got yer missus pregnant already? Ye filthy dog."

Price furrows his eyebrows, walking out and smiling widely. Quickly walking to you to give a kiss on the lips, his hands resting on your tummy.

"How are my girls doing, sweetheart?" He asks, Simon hearing it perfectly.

"Girls? You are having a baby girl?" He asks, making Gaz and Soap repeat it as echo.

You chuckle again, taking the fold from Ghost's hand and handing it to Price. "We are doing great today, John. Here's the documents, Simon wouldn't let me hold them myself."

"Good lad." He says, nodding at the mancunian making you shake your head.

Unlike Ghost, Gaz actually asks you about the baby shower and if he can assist. Price doesn't say anything, but he is really glad he offered; having now a familiar face at the party.

And even though only Gaz assists in person, he brings a present. "From Ghost, Soap and I, hope the girly likes it. Whenever she uses it."

He says that because the gift is a bright pink toy car for the baby to drive around.

Price complains about the safety of it, but later at night when everyone is gone he sits on the sofa, looking at you drive the car yourself talking about how you always wanted one as a kid. And Price is not sure how he got this lucky in life.

[utilitycaster]

I like that the Raven Queen, who made the decision to take on an immense and (at least to her understanding at the time) unending responsibility is the one who calls Bells Hells out on their endless indecision.

It's been...interesting, shall we say, tracking this "party of NPCs," and tracking the fandom response throughout. The initial reception to "party of NPCs" was actually a rather cold one. This took place early in the campaign, prior to the Gnarlrock fight, and at the time a lot of people who shipped Imogen and Laudna were actually extremely resistant to the idea that Imogen was the "main character" of the campaign (as seen in the fallout from the gnarlrock fight, in which the bulk of attacks from the fandom were on Imogen). I've had complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign specifically - he tends to have a very good understanding of his own characters that doesn't necessarily expand beyond them - but that phrase was indeed pretty valid. I think about the WBN interludes, in fact, in which the cast plays using NPC statblocks, and what a true party of NPCs for Bells Hells would look like, since it would be quite simple to draw up.

Allied NPCs in TTRPGs rarely act without guidance from the PCs. I've cast a critical eye in the past towards certain meta (particularly romantic in nature, regarding Yeza or Essek or Gilmore not making moves) for this reason, because while villains and antagonists move throughout the world generating obstacles, allies exist to be directed. They have their limits, of course; they have their own priorities and motivations and cannot be persuaded against their nature, but they can be guided at oblique angles from the GMs initial intent given enough work from the PCs. They're still people with thoughts and feelings and dreams, to an extent, but rarely do they make decisions that would conflict with those of the PCs.

That's the problem with a party of NPCs. NPCs take direction. They serve as support, but they're not in the driver's seat. And the Raven Queen has noticed.

The attitude within the fandom towards "Party of NPCs" became far more positive over time, and I wonder if it should have. People began to lean perhaps too heavily on how Bells Hells were people from nothing and nowhere, discarded. This is of course objectively false when comparing across parties (can we really say Imogen had a worse childhood than Vex? Chetney to Caleb? Even Ashton to Fjord?) but were it true, that in and of itself wouldn't be a problem. D&D backstories are often tear-stained and blood-soaked, full of unjust accusations, dead or neglectful parents, failure and regret. D&D is a game about coming from very little but a disproportionately good stat block for a commoner. It is unavoidably about amassing power. Starting off as a party of NPCs is fine. You should not still be a party of NPCs at the endgame.

I mentioned the gnarlrock, and I've mentioned an emphasis (or overemphasis) on this party's lack of agency and I think that remains the problem. Ludinus's villainy is rich, complex, and multifaceted, but a consistent element of it is his eternal false insistence that he - Martinet, founder and head of the Cerberus Assembly, Archmage - is just a little guy, chaff in the wind of the will of the gods, without free will of his own (he says, as he places his thread outside the reach of the Matron). That too is a theme in fandom discourse: free will and intent. Is Imogen justified in being angry at Laudna for breaking the rock if that wasn't Laudna's intent? (yes.) Is Orym on a quest of vengeance, with a death wish? (no, but if he were it wouldn't matter.) Was it wrong to pressure Fearne to take the shard instead of letting her make her own choices? (yes.)

Did any of you, perhaps in preschool or kindergarten, since that's about the age when this happens, have someone pull your hair and for adults to say "it's because they like you?" I find this is a good way to convey the importance, or unimportance, or intent. Because when your hair is being pulled, at least if that is the extent of the problem, it doesn't matter if it comes from the misguided affections of a four-year-old admirer who doesn't know how to use their words, or a six-year-old who just grabbed the most obvious material with which to test the limits of the safety scissors, or an eleven-year-old bully. Your hair is being pulled and you want it to stop. It doesn't matter if the person secretly likes you or if they want to hurt you; it matters that no matter the intent behind it, they are doing so. And if you reject the affections of your fellow preschool classmate because you think they might pull your hair, that's a fair consequence.

Bells Hells' indecision is some sort of cosmic hair pulling. They have reasons for faltering, and some of those reasons are understandable balking at an immense weight placed upon them and some of those reasons come from a deeply self-centered place in which their individual pain is used to blot out the suffering of countless others. But in the end, even that doesn't matter. Their histories don't matter. We don't need another series of introductions of where they come from and what they've done. We need people who can make decisions and who will act.

The Raven Queen seems to have been convinced they will. I'm not sure. But I think we are in agreement that inaction is, regardless of the intent behind it, no different than active harm. It would be irresponsible to continue to be a party of NPCs; if they truly are lost and forgotten fuck-ups, they have a responsibility (as the god of death once did) to abdicate and find a replacement.

[rea-grimm]

Merfolk Law

It was more of a coincidence that you ran into each other. You lived in the city, but when you had the chance, you went to the cottage you had right by the bay that led to the sea. It was quite windy there and since you lived quite far in the north, the water was too icy for your taste.

Maybe if you were more tough, but that was completely out of your control. In addition, you had a lot of events and work, so you went there, for example, once a month or once every three months. That was different.

For your next visit to the cottage, you decided to make your time pleasant by taking a little walk around the fjord when you saw it. Or you saw an orca's fin rolling in a pool of blood by the water and a harpoon sticking out of the fin.

From a distance, however, it seemed too small for you. Again, it was too big for the baby. You moved on to it more when you got stuck.

You knew it didn't fit the size of the orca, but you didn't expect a merfolk. The young man was very pale, his eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily. You had no idea what to do.

You moved closer to him as he opened his grey eyes and slashed his hand at you. However, the movement hurt him and he groaned in pain. You jumped to the side wondering what to do next. In the end, you decided to run home to get the first aid kit, as it would be difficult to help him with empty hands.

However, before you went back to him, you quickly found first aid for the harpoon injury over the phone. You weren't sure what to do and most importantly, the ambulance probably wouldn't help you here. You could get him into even more trouble.

You still took a looser sweatshirt with you to keep him warm. Although if he was used to cold water��� You had no idea how to take care of a merfolk.

“I'll help you,” you said as you returned to him. However, as soon as you approached him, he slashed after you again. “If you want to bleed here, please, be my guest,” you said and he stopped.

Finally, he let you approach and help him. He watched you suspiciously the whole time you tended to his wound.

“That's it,” you boasted as you bandaged his fin. He just looked at you before jumping into the water and swimming away. Even if he didn't thank you for it, it made you feel good.

Since then, you had the impression that you caught glimpses of him here and there, peeking above the surface before disappearing under the water again. You didn't get any closer to him.

However, on the shore, in the place where you found him, you found a gold coin that was no longer valid.

You were out for a walk and you came to the edge of a small cave that wasn't very deep. You decided to go look inside. Animals never congregated there, so there was no danger in it.

You walked in and were looking around when you noticed movement in the water. You leaned closer as something began to emerge from the water. It was a moment where you immediately caught yourself because it almost hit you in the head.

You fell backwards and landed on your butt. Right in front of you, the same merman you found outside emerged from the water. His wet hair fell into his eyes and the dark circles under his eyes indicated fatigue.

"Why are you following me?" he asked you, his voice as icy as his eyes.

"I don't follow you. I was just out for a walk,” you answered in surprise and settled down better. “Though I'm glad you look better than before,” you added with a weak smile.

"You're weird," he replied after a while, not taking his eyes off of you. 

You noticed that there were several fish skeletons in the corner of the cave when a rumbling sound echoed through the cave. You immediately looked at the merfolk who's stomach rumbled loudly. His ice mask broke at that moment and he hid under the water. Only his eyes looked above the surface.

You stifled a laugh and offered him something to eat. You had planned to take a longer walk today, so you prepared a snack. You took your bag off your shoulder and took out the sandwich, along with the onigiri you bought for the test.

At first, you offered him a sandwich, but he frowned at that as if you were trying to poison him. So you offered him onigiri instead. He hesitantly took it from you before unwrapping it and getting down to eating. He bit into it hungrily and began to chew before stopping.

"Thank you," he mumbled as he swallowed.

"You’re welcome," you smiled at him and took a bite of the bread yourself.

Law, you later learned, sat down at the edge of the water and you ate together. You had the impression that he was slowly starting to trust you.

"Aren't you so cold here?" you asked him after a moment as you saw his body shake slightly.

"Not at all," he shrugged, not paying any attention to it. Until you took off your coat and sweatshirt, which was looser on you, and handed it to him. Then you put your coat back on.

Law took the sweatshirt from you and looked it over before putting it on. It fit him like well like a shell. However, it was a strange feeling for him. He was a little dry, but the sweatshirt still stuck to him. After a while, however, it began to warm him pleasantly.

From that moment on, you visited him regularly. Only later did he admit to you that people find him as a child. Two brothers. One of them treated him nicely and taught him many different things. Read, write, etc.

He only told you this after you asked him about his tattoo. You had no idea how else he would get them if he didn't know other people.

After this discovery, you regularly brought him new books, to shorten the long time until his fin was completely healed.

You were afraid that when he recovered, he would swim away somewhere else, but to your surprise, he stayed.

In addition to books, you brought him food and your sweatshirts, which he liked. He kept taking them from you and didn't want to give them back. Only when you promised him that you would wash them and return them did he let you take them.

"I have something for you!" you called him when you came back after a month. You had to go back for a while, but thanks to Law, you looked forward to going back much more often.

Law was already waiting for you on the shore. He was sitting with his fins in the water while wearing a long black hooded sweatshirt and reading something. When he heard you, he put the book aside and turned to you.

“I've got something for your collection,” you said excitedly, handing him the bag of coins you had collected for him.

“Any new pieces? ” he asked you and started looking at the coins. When he saw one he didn't have yet, the corners of his mouth lifted into a satisfied smile.

After this you both had onigiri as you found out it was one of his favorite foods. In second place were fish.

After the food, you lay down in the grass and watched the clouds. You were starting to like it here more and more. You looked at the merfolk who was watching you with interest.

You had to admit how much he had changed since you first met. You still remembered how he first looked at you coldly. Now there was no trace of the cold in his face. Now he was looking at you with a look that made your heart race.

Law scooted closer to you, leaning over you until your noses were almost touching.

“Who would have thought I would find refuge with a human,” he said watching you. You just smiled at that.

“Who would have thought I'd fall in love with a merfolk,” you replied, realizing too late what you had said. Law paused for a moment before a smug smirk appeared on his face as he leaned down and kissed you on the lips.

"Who would have thought that, huh?" he asked contentedly before resting his head on your chest.

Law Masterlist

[a-menagerie]

Everything Has Changed

Cause all I know is we said, "Hello"

And your eyes look like coming home

All I know is a simple name

And everything has changed

Molly didn’t know where he was, barely knew who he was. When he finally opened his eyes - eyes? eyes never shut - and was faced with a pink firbolg, Molly was more confused than ever. So he ran.

Empty empty empty. He’s lost in himself and in this terrifying cavern - of flesh? - and he doesn’t know anything. There’s words in his mouth and people around him and he doesn’t know who anyone is. They’re hugging him and saying things and he’s just lost.

Except you, back behind everyone and quiet, you catch his eye and he knows you, he’s sure he does. But his heart is beating out of his chest and he can’t catch his breath so he gives in, lays on the ground, lets himself fade out.

*

Molly had never seen the Blooming Grove before, but he quite liked it and the Clay family. Eccentricity appealed to him - he was eccentric, wasn’t he? - but the family was just kind. They almost reminded him of another group, people he couldn’t quite picture or name, but the lingering feeling of family made him wonder.

For a week or so, you watched as Molly wandered the Grove, slowly recovering memories. He was never far from Yasha. Jester had fixed up his coat for him and he looked nearly like he had before you’d lost him. Some missing eye tattoos and slightly underfed but that would change with time.

*

“Is there a reason you’re avoiding a particular tiefling?” Fjord asked you, joining you where you were weeding a section of the cemetery.

“I spoke to Jester like an hour ago.” You reply without looking up.

“Alright, smartass.” Fjord scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“I’m not avoiding Molly; I’m giving him space.” You say.

“Does he know that?” Fjord asks. You look up at him sharply, frowning.

“He doesn’t remember…us. Whatever we were. I don’t wanna add any extra pressure on him.”

“And when he does remember, what then?” Fjord asks.

“I’ll tell him what I just told you.” You stand, yanking off your gloves. “What’s this about Fjord?”

“Everyone’s worried about you.” Fjord admits, rubbing his neck. “All of this is…a lot. Molly’s back but you’ve hardly reacted, barely talked to him. I just wanted to check in.” You try not to bristle at Fjord, he’s just doing what he does, checking in on his friends. But hardly reacted?

You’ve cried yourself to sleep almost every night since you returned to the Grove.

What was worse? Losing Molly or having a Molly who didn’t remember you? Losing Molly or having him so close but out of reach? Your chest aches and you fought hard not to cry in front of Fjord.

“I’m fine.” You tell him.

“Bullshit.” You and Fjord both jump as Beau speaks up. Sometime during your conversation she’d wandered over and now she was facing you with crossed arms and a raised brow. “You look like shit.”

“Beau.” Fjord hissed. She just rolled her eyes, waving her hand at him.

“You gotta talk to him or something, just watching you is making me miserable.” She said, poking you lightly in the chest.

“I don’t want to pressure-“ Beau cuts you off.

“Yasha said he asks about you, can’t figure out why you’re avoiding him. Molly’s not remembering everything yet but - just go talk to him.”

*

Molly’s been watching you, keeping track of where you were throughout the day. He wasn’t sure why. He’d wanted to speak to you before now but you seemed to disappear anytime he got too close.

Until today. He was sitting against a tree outside the Clay home, reading through Beau’s journal. Well, more specifically, he was struggling to read the journal and was considering asking Beau to just read it aloud. Molly looked up at the sound of feet crunching grass.

“Hey.” You greeted him with a small smile.

“Hello.” Molly replied blankly, confused - and intrigued - by the way his pulse quickened in your presence.

“Can I join you?” Molly nods so you settle beside him on the ground. You can’t bring yourself to say anything else though. What do you say?

“Did I…do something to you?” Molly asks and you jolt back to the present, out of your head. “To make you avoid me?”

“Oh no, no, I wasn’t-“ You sigh. “I wasn’t trying to avoid you but I was. I wanted you to have space.”

Molly cocked his head, observing you through narrowed red eyes. He looked back to the journal then his gaze wandered to your lap, where you were wringing your hands together.

“Space from you?” You nodded and he hummed in thought. “Because…we were together?”

“…yes.” You answer. Molly blinked.

“Wait, really?” He asked, grin curling across his lips.

“Yes?” You reply, slightly confused.

“I didn’t think I’d be right.” Molly laughed, reaching and grabbing one of your hands. “I’d hoped, of course, and obviously something had happened between us but- it really was like this, the two of us?”

Molly was looking at you so openly and adoringly that you almost couldn’t think straight, couldn’t really fight the heat rising to your cheeks.

“Yeah, for a while before…” You trailed off but started again. “I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to be with me, remember me right away.”

“Trust me, I’m very unhappy to have forgotten anything about you.” A sweet sentiment but you’re pretty sure Molly’s enunciation was meant to be teasing too. “Thank you for treating me so kindly though I would have preferred you spoke to me earlier.”

“Sorry.” You say softly, glancing up from your hand in his to look at him. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours.

“We’ll just have to make up for lost time.” Molly said. He took a deep breath, just enjoying your presence when something tickled at the back of his mind.

“You used to call me your Tea-lightful Tealeaf when you were in a silly mood.” Molly says it as a statement but pulls away enough to see your face, to see if he’s right.

“Okay, you could’ve waited to remember that.” You groan, covering your face with your free hand. “I only did it because it made you laugh.”

“Don’t you hide from me.” Molly pulled your hand off your face, held both of your hands in his. “We have all the time in the world now to be silly and laugh together.”

“I’ve missed you. A lot.” You manage to say without crying. Molly gives you a small smile.

“I feel like I’m missing me still.” Molly admits. “But I have you and our very odd friends, so my memories can take their time. They’ll return, in time.”

“And in the meantime,” Molly says, leaning his forehead back against yours, “I will delight in learning about you all over again.”

[critter-genfic-events]

This week, we have ten fics that focus on dreams. Pleasant dreams, prophetic dreams, and quite a few nightmares - not to mention the Dream Spell - are mentioned here! Check them out under the cut!

Burden of Guilt by popsicletheduck (2714,Teen) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Pairings:

Percy's made some mistakes in his life, alright? He knows this. It'd be nice if his subconscious stopped bringing it up.

Reccer says: Percy makes a great whump subject

Dreaming Down Deep by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink) (4478,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

What if Caduceus met Fjord's patron and was just both mildly clueless and very polite about the whole thing?

Reccer says: Galaxy brain concept and wonderful delivery - Ukotoa's tricks just do not work on Caduceus, but Fjord's angst in the second chapter is delicious

and we still had hours by poppyseedheart (13995,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

In his own dreams, Caleb's back is usually ramrod straight the way it was in his youth. In his waking hours, his beggar’s hunch is practiced, intentional. Whatever he’s doing now, all neutral spine and open hands, is something different altogether.

Reccer says: Well characterized all around and amazing

she dreams of chromatic dragons by mavnificent (791,General) Warnings: Pairings:

Cali dreams of chromatic dragons and they aren’t always vicious or greedy the way they’re supposed to be. That’s how she knows she's dreaming.

Reccer says: There really should be more Calianna fics in the world, but this is a great one that takes into her Cult Deprogramming

A Nice Dream for Yasha by FeralScribe (4262,General) Warnings: Major Canonical Character Death Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf & Yasha

A dear friend makes sure that Yasha's dreams take her somewhere pleasant for once. The problem arises when Yasha doesn't want to leave.

Reccer says: I love Yasha and Molly's friendship and this is so painful

may your princes understand you (may your wolves get out alive) by grayintogreen (6427,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

An archfey traps Jester in a dream world. Artagan and an unlikely ally rescue her.

Reccer says: I liked it

However Long Forever's Gonna Last by elissastillstands (15557,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Opal begins having dreams about Zerxus as she and the Crownkeepers continue their journey.

Reccer says: A beautiful story that fits perfectly into canon as a canon divergent fic. It makes you wish and hope for a better ending for Opal and Zerxus.

a god awful shitty feeling of dread in my heart by pigflight (2106,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Delilah Briarwood & Imogen Temult

In which holding hands with Laudna brings someone into Imogen's dream, even if it isn't the someone she was hoping for.

Reccer says: Imogen and Delilah and Imogen is able to go off? Yes please. A wonderfully threatening Delilah, too

What Grows From The Heart Is All The Stronger by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink) (1340,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fearne Calloway & Orym

All seeds need good soil in which to grow.

Reccer says: I liked it

The Heart External by BeatriceEagle (103670,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Beau & Caleb, Beau and Bren, Caleb and Bren, Beau and OMC, Caleb and OMC; background Beau/Yasha and Caleb/Essek

Six months ago, Beau adopted a teenager who loves the Cobalt Soul, but can't stand her. Ten minutes ago, Caleb accidentally summoned his own teenage self into his living room.

Reccer says: There's so much insight into and compassion towards all of the characters here. The ultimate resolutions for each of them feel hard-won and satisfying.

his is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

We'll be back on the first with fics focusing on Orym, followed by horror fics, and then in October with fics focusing on Taryon Darrington.

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit! If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

The Proposal

Warnings: none? Lingerie is mentioned?

Shanks x GNreader

Word count: 1184

Chapter 1

You and Shanks have been dating forever, like since you were apprentices on Rogers' ship forever. In the decade-plus that you have been together, you've been patiently waiting for him to make the next move. But now you were starting to get impatient with him because you felt that your relationship has not progressed to the next stage. Granted you had no right to be annoyed with him since you didn't voice your feelings on the matter to him. Shanks always said he would want to get married one day and have a spouse, you just didn't understand what was taking him so long.

"You're glowering at the boss," Benn grumbled, leaning back in his chair as his grey eyes scrutinized your features. You bit your lip and weighed your option, ask Benn for advice and the possibility of the whole finding out, or talk to Shanks first.

"I need some advice, and you're Shanks's best friend, maybe you might have some insight." You mumble.

Benn took a drag off his cigarette and huffed, "Really? I thought you're his best friend, and I'm the one who's been third wheeling you two since you were teenagers."

"You're both of our best friends I guess, but you know how Shanks wants to one day get married?"

Benn's eyes got wide for a moment, and he darted to Shanks, as he replied, "vaguely recall him saying that when he was drunk a number of years ago. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering why he hasn't proposed yet."

Benn rolled his eyes, sensing your insecurity, and groaned, "if you're really so impatient why don't you propose to him?" His words shocked you, why hadn't you thought of that? You've always been the one to initiate new things in your relationship. From asking him out when you were eleven, to asking if you can move into the same room when you were nineteen. It was always you making the first move, so why wouldn't marriage be any different?

When he realized you were actually considering it, you'd already thanked him for his insight, and gotten up to return to your room. Hongou came over and sat down in your chair, drunk as a skunk and grinning like an idiot. As he takes a swig from a bottle of rum,  he asks, "what's got you so slack-jawed?"

Benn put out his cigarette and got up, "I need to start planning a wedding, and...fuck I'm gonna need to get a camera."

A week later, despite the constant pestering from the crew's helmsmen, you finally settled on how and where you would propose. You planned to buy the ring on the next island and propose on the island after that, the Fern Kingdom. Which was famous for its brilliant foliage, deep fjords, crisp air, and copious waterfalls. But there was still one problem, you didn't know Shanks' ring size. When you expressed your issue with Benn, he pointed out all you had to do was to wait for him to fall asleep to get it.

"But he's such a light sleeper," you grumbled.

Benn leaned over the back of his chair, twisting to face you as you were curled up on the sofa in his office, he said, "what are you talking about? He sleeps like a log. I've literally dropped him down a flight of stairs carrying him back to your room after a party, and he didn't wake up."

"He only sleeps like that when he's drunk, which I suppose is often enough I shouldn't have a problem."

"Does he usually go to sleep with you sober? " Benn asked, "Because all the times we've shared sleeping quarters, he's always insisted he needs a nightcap to sleep."

"He sleeps best cuddled up to someone, but any way will you help me get the ring size if you encounter him passed out before I do." You inquired, putting the ring-sizing tape on his desk.  Benn nodded his head and tossed it in his cigarette box, and huffed, "If we need to we can always take him drinking before going ring shopping."

"You want to come with me to pick out the ring?"

Benn's sharp eyes flicked up t you as his expression soured, "of course, I'm coming with you to pick it out. There is no way in hell I'm letting you go without me. I've been with you two through most of the big steps in your relationship."

"You mean you were around when we were going through most of the big steps."

"No I mean I was with you, Shanks always had me follow along on your dates."

You blinked at him incredulously, "you really have been third-wheeling us."

Benn nodded, "yer damn right I have. I had to pep talk Shanks before you two boned the first time. I deserve to have input on y'alls wedding and engagement rings."

You held up your hands in surrender, and Benn tucked his cigarette box back into his pants pocket.



That night Benn kicked in the door to your bedroom, short of breath when he panted, "Shanks has passed out, but he's surrounded by the crew and I can't check his ring size without raising any questions. We'll have to do this as a team to get it." When you nodded your head and grabbed the sizer, Benn said, "Alright, I'll distract the crew while you get the ring size."

"Please one look at me, and they'll be too distracted by me to watch you get his size," You stated, opening your robe to show the lingerie and nightie underneath.

Benn clicked his tongue, "that'll work,” and followed after you as you glided down the hall.

The crew had gathered in the lounge area, bottles littered across almost every flat horizontal surface in the room that wasn’t the floor. Yassop, Lucky Roo, Hongou, and Lime Juice were gathered around Shanks passing a few markers back and forth drawing on their unconscious captain’s face. You put your hands on your hips and started to gently scold them like they were children. “Boys, what are you doing? That’s not nice. Benn would you carry him to our room?”

Benn snapped his fingers and muttered, “good idea.”

The group looked over their shoulders to see you playfully glaring at them, only vaguely registering Benn as he circled around. Yassop whistled, “god-damn, what’d Shanks do to earn this?”

You chuckled, “can’t I dress cute for myself?” Despite looking at the group as they abandoned their markers and drifted toward you, you were watching Benn sneak around and scoop up the redhead. 

Once Benn had him out of the room you excused yourself and went to your room. Where you found Benn had haphazardly thrown Shanks half on and half off the bed and was fitting the sizer around his ring finger. 

“He’s a size 10,” he announced, glancing over at you expectantly. When you stared at him, he rolled his eyes, “well write it down, 'cause neither of us will remember, and we’ll have to get him drunk again, which’ll cost a fortune.”

Support me on Kofi and Patreon

[critrolesideblog]

This is foolish. Essek took a deep breath in and out through his nose to calm his nerves, making sure to keep his face calm. Foolish, foolish, foolish.

A thunderous explosion shook the stone streets, and Essek's hand was at the components pouch at his waist, fast as light, as . . .

Another volley of fireworks lit up the Hupperdook sky and a jubilant roar went up among the townsfolk milling about in the street. Vendors selling silk flowers, colorful banners on sticks, firecrackers, street food, and beer shouted their wares as they moved through the crowd. A crowd that Essek, clad in a paper-thin illusion, stood largely head and shoulders above. A Kryn man walking through the heart of Dwendalian industry. Foolish.

Foolish... and a little thrilling, knowing, as he did, that the prize of a warm welcome and an evening with friends awaited him at the end of this foolish, foolish gauntlet.

At last, he located his destination and pulled open the door to be met with a rush of warmth and noise. It was, if possible, louder inside the tavern than outside. There were musicians playing a lively tune in the far back. It was a popular tune apparently, judging by the sheer number of patrons turning merrily in the center of the dance floor, and there in the middle of them, sticking out like two bright planets in a sky full of stars, was Caleb and Jester. They spun around each other maddeningly, dizzyingly, laughing all the while.

"There you are! We were beginning to wonder if you'd gotten lost."

Fjord was in front of him suddenly, clapping him on the shoulder. It was disconcerting to be recognized so quickly, even if he had told Jester the nature of his disguise ahead of time: a tiefling, with skin, hair, and freckles the same shade of blue as Jester's. His illusory horns looped back, following closely along the curve of his skull and back out again in the place where his real ears were. The face was modeled a bit on Kingsley, and his eyes he had left their usual lilac.

"Ah, well, there were some shifty individuals in Jrusar that I thought might be on my tail, but -- aaAAah!"

Fjord's arms were around him, pulling him into the swirling mass of bodies.

"Let's get them off your tail then, shall we?"

Essek fell into position with decades of courtly practice, as Fjord took the lead, glancing around for openings in the crowd and guiding them through. Essek glanced around as well, trying to get the gist of the dance.

"I-- I am afraid I do not know this one."

"And would the Shadowhand do a dance he did not know?!" Fjord asked, dipping his voice low, eyebrow raised, peering at him with great melodrama. "The spies are confused already!"

Essek ducked his head down as he suppressed a snort of laughter. When he looked back up, Fjord was peering over his shoulder intently, eyebrows and chin raising slightly, as if nodding assent to someone. Essek turned his head to see who he was looking at, but at that moment, Fjord turned them both quickly. Essek narrowed his eyes at him.

"What are you up to?"

Fjord grinned, mischievously. "Just returning a favor."

And with that, Essek found himself being spun away from Fjord, through the crowd, and into the arms of one, Caleb Widogast.

Caleb's face was at turns surprised, confused, and delighted, as his eyes took in Essek's strangely-familiar face and then met his very familiar eyes. He threw his head back as he laughed joyously, pulling Essek close, and Essek could hear Jester and Fjord cackling victoriously over the din in the distance. He relaxed into Caleb's closer-than-proper dance hold, feeling the nerves of the day fade away as they made a lazy loop around the dance floor.

"It is good to see you, Caleb Widogast," he murmured, when Caleb's Lucidian blue eyes met his again.

"You as well, my dear. I'm glad you could make it."

"As am I." He glanced over Caleb's shoulder and spied Jester and Fjord at the edge of the dance floor, grinning, murmuring to each other. Jester's gaze caught his, and she waggled her eyebrows at him. "Fjord mentioned something about 'returning a favor.' Do you know what that was about?" Caleb's eyebrows rose, and as they turned again, he peered over Essek's shoulder toward the edge of the dance floor as well.

"Ah, I will explain later," he said with a small smile, and then leaned in to whisper in Essek's ear. "I think they are talking about us." The feel of his breath against his ear sent a shiver down Essek's spine.

"Well, then, let us give them something to talk about."

The music crashed into a raucous finale as Essek took the lead, pulling Caleb closer still. There was an instant of surprise on Caleb's face before Essek spun them a final, sharp turn and dipped him backwards as he leaned down and kissed him.

A chorus of wolf whistles and cat calls erupted from a particularly rowdy table at the side of the dance floor, full of familiar voices. He could feel Caleb laughing against his mouth as a warm hand pressed gently against the back of his neck, and for a moment, all was right with the world.

Fjord's voice called out over the din.

"You're welcome!"

[critter-rarepair-reccs]

Hello all! Hope your Wednesday has been well so far. This week we have fourteen fics featuring various different polyamorous ships! As always, you can find them below the cut and if you check any of them out, I encourage you to leave kudoes and comments to spread the rarepair love 💕

gilded mischief by annie_blackbird (20,437 words, Explicit) Pairing: Yussa Errenis/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidoyussa) Warnings: Consensual Somnophilia, Safeword Use, Mentions of Slavery

Caleb and Essek spend a night with Yussa, with Caleb under the effect of a sleeping potion. After some discussion, the night progresses with Essek as Yussa's very good boy.

Reccer Says: *grabs you by the shoulder* you need to read this fic. Even if you're not already aboard the Shadowidoyussa ship. It will convert you. It is so soft. It is so hot. Like, the perfect balance of tooth-rotting fluff and scorchingly hot smut. Yussa is Exandria's softest dom and I adore him. Essek is a sweetheart doing his very best and I'm holding him in my hands. Caleb is asleep but the ways he's still a present influence on the story through Essek's POV is absolutely wonderful. Please read it, you will not regret it.

can't you see yourself by my side? by ryseling (7,519 words, Explicit) Pairing: Fjord/Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast (Widofjorester) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Under-negotiated Relationship

Fjord and Jester are together, and Caleb - hopelessly in love with them as he is - agrees to a threesome. Porn with feelings, Caleb POV.

Reccer Says: Very well written in terms of style. Everyone also feels very in character.

Hearts Full of Light by kaeda (5,032 words, Mature) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Fjord/Eadwulf Grieve/Jester Lavorre Warnings: None

The nein & friends are restoring the blooming grove after Trent's attack in 141. Mostly lighthearted as Jester meddles & matchmakes. POV alternating between Fjord and Jester.

Reccer Says: Jester/Astrid/Fjord/Eadwulf is such an underrated rarepair.

all glittering things by quinn_of_aebradore (32,418 words, Teen) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Minor Canon Character Death

"Essek Thelyss, prodigious dunamancer and crown Prince of Rosohna. Caleb Widogast, illustrious court mage for the Lord Eadwulf Grieve of Blumenthal. Mollymauk Tealeaf, Opal of Nicodranas, fourth child of the Tealeaf Estate. What happens when affection escapes the bounds of propriety and courting? What comes once a kiss has been bestowed? A romance draped with light and honey, of course."

Reccer Says: I just love this entire AU so much so I'm cheating and reccing the whole thing lol... it's so well done and thoughtfully constructed, and they're sooo lovey dovey and pining and flirty ugghggh - bonus: the lucien vs essek part makes me especially feral 🤣💜

Kisses by the Road by Clare_Hope (6,351 words, Teen) Pairing: Dorian Storm/Fearne Calloway/Dariax Zaveon/Opal Warnings: Alcohol

Fearne wins the drinking contest in Byroden and requests kisses as her prize. Polyamory and shenanigans ensue.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

I dream of you amid the flowers by glittergarbage (66,967 words, Explicit) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Dirty Talk, Smut, AFAB NB Molly, Threesome

"In which Mollymauk comes back to his body, minus a few memories, at the Blooming Grove. Essek is intrigued. Caleb is glad."

Reccer Says: I LOVE THIS FIC SM.... it's such a perfect post-canon depiction of the slow, realistic, exciting, curious unfolding of their relationship, and I love their characterizations and dynamics 🥰🥰🥰 it's a SWM classic to me

First Light by the_deep_magic (5,673 words, Explicit) Pairing: Ashton Greymoore/Orym/Dorian Storm (Dashrym) Warnings: None

Ashton wakes up while Orym is doing his morning exercises, which they find Very Sexy. Dorian, already awake, agrees and the two of them pretend to be asleep until Orym is done and they can have sex about it.

Reccer Says: Domestic Dashrym, hot smut, and a very well-written Ashton POV 💕

locked in here with us by wanderingbasilisk (3,002 words, General) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: None

"a dragon, a damsel in a tower, a knight in shining armor you can guess how this goes ;)"

Reccer Says: Love a fairytale AU! It's just so sweet and fun and adorable and there's a little sprinkle of angst in there which is sooo good 💜🧡💜 delightful and heartwarming

in the light of long-dead things by Anonymous (3,426 words, Teen) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Blumenshadow) Warnings: PTSD, Panic Attacks

While spending the night in Caleb’s tower, Astrid gets thrown into the past.

Reccer Says: God, the way this one has Stuck with me since I first read it. The visual of Astrid squeezing herself under the nook by the stairs is burned into my brain. Her panic, Wulf coaxing her back to herself and the present, her reactions to Caleb and Essek, it’s all so heartaching and wonderful, I love it so much.

to be in someone else's coat by jaskofalltrades (1,369 words, General) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: None

Widomauk/Pre-Shadowidomauk where Molly and Caleb were the ones to walk Essek home from dinner at the Xhorhaus

Reccer Says: Listen SWM canon molly lives AU is a wonderful and rare creature and this is one such example that gave me the warm cozies... also I LOVE WHEN THEY FLIRT AAAA 💜💕

Where I am going you can't save me by thesweetpianowritingdownmylife (20,461 words, Teen) Pairing: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin (Beauyashter) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Vomiting, Blood

Yasha starts coughing up petals, white and blue. There is no doubt to whom they belong. Aka Beaujasha Hanahaki AU. Set after episode 89.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

keep following the heartlines on your hands by floralprintshark (8,014 words, Teen) Pairing: Fjord/Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast (Widofjolly) Warnings: None

Five times Molly tries to set up Fjord and Caleb with each other and one time Molly gets set up with them.

Reccer Says: I enjoyed it!

We also have two reccs for: the stranger who was your self by Demenior (60,045 words, Mature) Pairing: Fjord/Eadwulf Grieve/Jester Lavorre Warnings: Power Dynamics

Eadwulf joins Fjord & Jester's crew as they sail the Lucidian. POV alternating between the three leads. Fjord and Jester are about to embark on a high-seas adventure...and Eadwulf shows up and insists on joining their crew. They don't know what he's plotting (or what he's running away from,) but that won't stop them from flirting with him until they find out.

Reccer 1 Says: I enjoyed it! Reccer 2 Says: Adorable Fjorester flirting. All the sexual tension of that one sword fight between Fjord and Eadwulf. Unstoppable force (Jester Lavorre) meets immovable object (the world's most miserable, wretched wet dog of a scourger.)

And we have three reccs for: amongst the things left unforgiven by nonwal (63,958 words, Mature) Pairings: Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss, Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Blumenshadow) Warnings: Panic Attacks, Discussions of Suicidality/Euthenasia, Temporary Character Death, Suicidal Ideation

Astrid and Eodwulf start visiting Essek in Rosonah to keep an eye on him, then Essek starts visiting them at Caleb's tower in Rexxentrum to keep an eye on them. They dance around eachother in conversation out of mutual distrust (and flirting) long enough to save Essek from himself and fall in love about it. Astrid and Eadwulf take it upon themselves to save Essek from himself. Two scourgers show up at Essek's home to interrogate him about the Mighty Nein. Then he discovers that both of them are also uselessly pining over Caleb. Then, he gets closer than advisable.

Reccer 1 Says: the character dynamics and banter are absolutely top notch. the author really nails the character voices. Reccer 2 Says: I enjoyed it! Reccer 3 Says: An alternate ending to C2 with a great balance of intrigue, angst, slow-burn romance, and fluff (if you can count three wizards lying to each other for fun as fluff.)

Thank you for joining us this week’s recc list! All the love to everyone who submitted a fic 💕 All enclosed recommendations were submitted by the community via our submissions form, which you can find here. All fic information is as it was provided by the reccer, so it may not be accurate to the author’s intent or the precise contents of the fic itself. Please assume good intent from all parties 💕

Submissions for next week’s list are already open! We’ll be featuring Enemies to Lovers. If you have any you’d like to highlight, you can send them in here. The week after that, the theme is Miscommunication and the weeks after that we’re taking recommendations for Works in Progress and Angst! Submissions for all of these themes are currently open.

If you want more rarepair fic, check out @cr-summer-wildflowers and their event collections on ao3! If you want some friendship after all this romance, take a look at @critter-genfic-events and their recc lists! And if you’re interested in everyone’s favorite wizards, you can’t go wrong with the lists at @aeor-is-for-reccing !

Thanks all and have a lovely day/night/timezone! 💕

[arclundarchivist]

C3E98 Spoilers!

-

-

-

Sam’s new character seems fun! Tragedy Bard multiclass with either Ancients or Watcher Paladin, deeply friendly and kind yet a servant of Asmodeus. I want to know more about him.

And that didn’t end at all how I thought, and I am deeply invested in seeing Brennan DM for Exandria again after Calamity but…

I’m worried.

Because Ludinus wouldn’t show them this unless he thought it could convince them of his cause, and sure maybe he’s wrong.

But the Antigod Sentiment has already been there with the Hells, and… a lot of the narrative hasn’t really put in work to dissuade them or push against the beliefs of people like Ludinus.

And I have a lot of trouble personally accepting that and this new way the Gods are presented.

Because the previous campaigns and all the side material involving the Gods don’t mesh with this projection of “Well all the gods are bad actually” and the way the Raven Queen, Sarenrae Melora, Kord, etc especially when looking at the Legend of Vox Machina are depicted just doesn’t track.

And I get Matt has said again, and again, “They’re trying to survive, they’re not actually evil.” But I just… isn’t coming off that way, or it doesn’t seem to be to the players. Who willing joined up with an “oppressed” group, and have seen the Eugenics Ruidus and Aeor were practicing and yet are willing to listen to Ludinus? Why did they follow him so… willingly.

It just doesn’t at this moment, make sense to me. They’ve also fully forgotten that the Titans wanted Predathos gone as well, but that’s another problem I have.

And I’m not sure what is going to be shown, but if it tries to make Aeor out as not deserving of their fate when they were building crazed slaves, mutating their own children, fucking about with demons and were very likely being influenced by Tharizdun, outside of their own pride/corruption and the knowledge they utterly destroyed a whole other city of nominally innocent people, just to make the Gods look worse, I’m genuinely going to be disappointed.

Why can’t there just be good gods, why does everything need to be “grey”, why can’t there just be gods that genuinely care? That aren’t in it for some power trip/gain? It’s comforting to think something with all that power would actually give a shit about something as small as me. Cad and Fjord’s stories were some of my favorite’s, Kord helping Yasha refind her sense of worth and self, Sarenrae’s love of Pike all of those stories had deep meaning to me! And it just feels like having those Gods die/be liars this whole time just makes all of those stories lose a good portion of their meaning and heart.

And I don’t think I’d ever be okay with that with how things have been laid out.

I want to be wrong. I want this to be more nuanced, and allow the Bell’s to see more or take away differently than Ludinus did. I’m not fully sure what Downfall is going to be, but Brennan’s description did not speak to me of Aeor. It felt… older, more esoteric, and so I’m wondering *what* of the Gods we may actually get a chance to see.

[me-myself-and-my-fos]

Colette Clay

Pairing: Cold Graves, with special guest @hyperionshipping and Caleb

Warning: Mentions of pregnancy, mentions of childbirth

“Oh, Nic, she’s soooo cute!” Jester squealed as the Nein gazed at the week old baby nestled in Nic’s arms. The Firbolg was smaller than average, but bigger than any human baby. She was covered in a silver-gray fur with a small tuft of brown hair on the top of her head in a little mohawk.

They were gathered in the center of the grove, relaxing on the grass and blankets set up. Nic chuckled at Jester’s words, bouncing her daughter gently. Caduceus joined the group, setting down a small array of food before sitting beside his partner.

“She’s not as cute when she’s crying at midnight,” Nic teased, tickling her daughter’s nose with her finger.

“What’s her name?” Beau asked, staring skeptically at the baby. Did she and Yasha want kids? They had talked about it on and off over the last decade.

“Colette,” Caduceus told them softly.

Nic giggled. “Have to keep up the tradition after all.”

“So how many are you two planning on having?” Caleb asked, already in his brain planning on how to rearrange Caduceus and Nic’s shared room in the tower to accommodate the new addition. “Are you one and done, or can we expect more little ones?”

“Oh, um…” Nic and Caduceus looked at each other. Did they want more children? Colette was a surprise, but planning out more kids seemed logical.

“For now she’s an only child,” Caduceus answered, giving his finger to Colette who tightly gripped subconsciously.

“Yeah, I mean, you know Cad and I aren’t all that into sex anyway. It was just a one time thing and it resulted in our little rainbow, so for now just one,” Nic added.

“Well, you know, if the two of you ever need a break you have a few options for babysitters,” Caleb said, smiling softly as Tricks leaned against his back, the tiefling draping his arms over the wizard’s shoulders.

Nic couldn’t help the snort that escaped. “I love you guys, but I trust none of you with my daughter.”

“What about Veth? She’s a mom.” Yasha suggested, pointing to the rogue who was making silly faces at Colette. She had yet to giggle.

“As a mom, she’s wonderful, but as an aunt…” Nic sucked in a breath. “I fear she’ll be a terrible influence.”

“What about me?!” Jester protested.

“You’d be the worst influence,” Caduceus replied light-heartedly.

Jester pouted, leaning against Fjord’s chest with her arms crossed. Her fiancé rolled his eyes playfully. “Can we at least hold her?” Jester asked.

Nic tensed at the question. Since the moment Colette entered the world she had a strong protectiveness over her daughter. It took her a whole day to gather the courage to let Caduceus’s parents hold their granddaughter. But the Nein? Sure, they were her and Caduceus’s closest friends, but they weren’t known for being careful.

Sensing her anxiety, Caduceus rested a hand on her back and subtly casted Calm Emotion on her. Nic eased, relaxing at his touch and letting out a sigh. He had been using it on her more and more lately. She was a ball of nerves, and that spell was the only thing giving her any sense of peace.

“If any of you drop her, you will be blighted,” Nic threatened calmly, looking at Fjord.

He was taken aback by her staring directly at him. He was offended at the accusation. “Why did you look at me when you said that?”

“Honestly, Fjord, you are kind of clumsy,” Jester told him matter-of-factly.

“I am not clumsy!” he objected.

“I’ll hold her first,” Beau begrudgingly offered, holding out her arms. Nic placed Colette in the monk’s arms and helped Beau position her arms so the baby was comfortable. She stiffened up as she held the newborn, afraid to move and hurt her. Yasha didn’t miss a beat and began cooing at the baby.

“Oh look at you. Look at your little cheeks. And those ears, they’re so floppy and cute,” the barbarian put on a baby voice, gently squishing Colette’s cheeks. “I could just eat you up. Yes, I could. Yes I could.”

“So how are you feeling?” Tricks asked Nic, moving to settle in Caleb’s lap.

“Greater restoration, some healing spells, and I feel great,” Nic waved her hand. “But I’m so exhausted. She eats so much, and so often. I feel like Veth’s endless flask. But this is nothing compared to the actual labor. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was a whole week.”

“I could barely get her to sit still long enough to eat,” Caduceus chimed in, handing Nic a cup of tea he poured. “But Colette’s birth was special.”

“I wanted her to be born outside in nature so I gave birth out here in the yard of the grove,” Nic told them. “Actually, she was born directly in that spot you’re sitting on, Fjord.” She pointed to the half-orc.

“What? Oh, ew.” He pushed Jester off and moved to the side, off the spot Nic was talking about.

“She was born in the rain, though. It was actually a sunshower. You know, when it’s raining but it’s sunny out,” Nic said, taking a sip of her tea. “And afterwards, when it stopped raining, we looked up and saw the most beautiful and vibrant rainbow ever.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” Jester sighed dreamily.

“Don’t do it. Don’t give birth. It’s hell. I’ve been stabbed in the stomach and it was less painful that having a baby,” Nic warned, snuggling into Caduceus’s side.

After a few minutes Beau leaned over and quickly placed Colette in Fjord’s arms. He let out a yelp, not expecting to be handed the newborn. “Here Fjord, you hold her,” Beau said. She couldn’t wait to pass off the baby.

“Ah!” He was startled, cradling Colette carefully. Nic’s threat echoed in his mind. “Good… baby.”

“She’s not a dog!” Veth snapped.

“I don’t know! I’ve never held a baby before!” Fjord exclaimed nervously.

“It’s not that hard,” Jester said, taking her from him.

“Be careful with her. I spent ten months making her,” Nic said, a bit anxious as she watched Colette be passed from person to person.

As if on cue, Colette started to cry. The shrill scream pierced the moment and it set Nic on edge as she was already reaching for her daughter. She took the baby from Jester as Veth spoke up.

“Way to go Fjord!”

“What did I do?” Fjord asked.

“It’s not you,” Caduceus assured, watching as Colette clung to her mother. “She’s hungry.”

“Again,” Nic said, standing up. “Excuse me.” She walked away, heading into the temple to feed Colette.

“It seems like a lot of work to take care of a baby,” Jester commented.

“Actually Colette has been an easy baby so far,” Caduceus told her. “It’s Nic that’s been a handful.”

[cringefaecompilation]

you dont have to post this but i am literally so glad im not the only one whos very ??? about how out of character the mighty nein have (mostly) been since the campaign ending. like whats happening here

IT'S SO WEIRD. I REWATCHED EPISODES FROM THE OG CAMPAIGN (ep 21, ep 48, ep86, ep114), JUST TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T GOING NUTS

mn reunited was fine! i saw some complaints with echoes of the solstice, and i chalked that up to people being frustrated at c3 getting cut off twice in a row because they all seemed fine to me in that one. veth was a little too "early mn" for me in episode 111 but episode 115 was downright awful for them. you could say it was because they just got off playing vox machina and needed to get back in the groove and were getting mixed up with filming the cartoon but bell's hells were awesome in this episode. in fact, this was probably one of the best episodes of the campaign for them.

only jester and caleb were really in character, everything else felt like they were just telling jokes to pass the time. i've already explained why making beau more rude and aggressive is bad but making her relationship with yasha into jokes about how horny and kinky they are makes it worse. they did do damage control at the end with beau and yasha saying they wanted to adopt kids but it still felt... bad.

and of course, travis making jokes about how fjord feels like he's trapped in a marriage to jester. this is the kinda stuff you read in wido/jest or beau/jes fics to make fjord look like a douche that abuses her for "annoying him" so one of them can swoop in and save her from a crappy boyfriend! why are we making "ha ha marriage is the end of your life, amirite fellas?! better run away from the ol' ball and chain!" wisecracks when FJORD WAS THE ONE WHO PROPOSED TO HER.

finally, their reaction to bell's hells not trusting the gods fully because of their personal relationships to them just felt like they were guilt-tripping the fuck out of bell's hells for not being devout enough. it was just a repeat of your average "pro-god" cr fan account saying "well, some people were blessed by the gods and love worshiping them so you're evil for taking away their right to choose!" which has virtually zero bearing on the themes of the campaign itself. you know it's bad when you can say "at least orym has an excuse" about it.

and i don't want it to feel this way. the vox machina episodes were great! a wonderful palate cleanser for everyone who disliked SUPEW SEWIOUS kiki and percy as played by matt or were disappointed at elements of the lovm cartoon. but this? this is key jingling, and it really puts me off watching episode 116.

[utilitycaster]

I do wonder if the nature of Vax's deal with the Raven Queen has made people imagine the gods as more transactional than they are, because I don't think that's the case, and specifically I think Orym went to Morri specifically because he knows this and knows she will make a concrete deal whereas the gods are unlikely to make a similar guarantee. Vax is actually a weird edge case exception, borne of the specific resurrection rules and the drama and details of the scene (in the Raven Queen's sunken temple, by the body of her former champion, a specific offer to the goddess of death of a life for a life) - and even then, she didn't take his offer the way he expected it, asking for a life of service instead of simply ending his life then and there.

When we look at the player characters who have received favors from the gods, this has largely happened in-game through player choices but not necessarily as part of a deal (the favors in Campaign 1; Fjord's relationship with the Wildmother though that does involve a paladin oath as, well, paladins do; FCG's worship of the Changebringer) or it's been part of the backstory as dictated by the player (Pike, Jester, Caduceus, Yasha). The only example where it simply happened, that I can think of, is Orym's sword, and that was a relatively minor boon (and he'd spoken to Melora before during EXU Prime as well).

Meanwhile, the messages characters have received from the gods this campaign have only come with either deities they already had fostered a relationship with (Deanna and the Dawnfather/FCG and the Changebringer) or have come from the players specifically opening that line of communication by going to the temple - Kord communicating with Imogen is the first instance of a god talking to someone who didn't speak first, and he does not actually ask anything of her so much as say he respects the storm vibe and if she betrays his worshipers he'll take action. The only people who have actually explicitly asked for action (do not let Predathos wake) are gods speaking to clerics who worship them; the Raven Queen has only offered broad visions and has not actually asked anything specific of the party, and has even provided answers to them unrelated to the current situation. Fearne's received portents from both the Raven Queen and the Wildmother for personal questions she's asked.

The gods can provide power - that is a fundamental aspect of D&D, just as one's bloodline or specific knack for music can provide power - but they rarely make specific deals. Even paladin oaths are nebulous and indeed don't even require a deity; cleric relationships have conditions but they are usually a very broad "do not actively go against the principles I, as an embodiment of concepts, embody." The transactional power? That's warlocks. There's a pact. You do what I say or I take the powers away. (Obviously we've seen a god serve as a patron, but the pact and paladin oath blur in that case - there's never been the punishment/reward system in Melora's patronage.)

With all that in mind, Orym's deal with Morri does not feel like a rejection of the gods, but rather a good understanding of how they operate vs. how a hag does.

[survivalist-anon]

Log 16: A bark worse than his bite

Pine Hills most reputable bar: Big Foot Saloon. Ironically, we don't get bigfoot sightings here in Pine Hills, but with nearly 8ft space soldiers with occasionally some quirk about will probably confuse a few folks now.

The morning staff now finally get to have that night out drinking they wanted.

Fjord by this point was just enjoying himself, he was more familiar with a bar setting than I thought. He practically blended in, if were-vikings were common place the west coast.

Ronnie and guys were laughing about some plans they're going to make this weekend.

Jonas was telling us a story that happened to her for the billionth time.

Fjord intensively listening. As for me, my brain checked out a little while ago.

"-And so than, I had my tonsils removed, for the thrice", Jonas concluded.

"....Jonas I'm not certain you CAN remove your tonsils more than once...", I'm certain the last time she said 'twice'.

Frank hand walked up to our table with a rather sizable tab. "Here you go folks, hope you enjoyed your drinks", he looks to Fjord who had drunk a horrendous amount of alcohol, specifically beers, IPAs and I believe I recommended him an actual craft mead, he absolutely loved it. Yet he was more sober than I was with my one bottle of hard cider.

"Oh right, ugh, this be my 'treat'," he quickly handed the little bag of gold nuggets to Frank.

Frank takes the bag without question and promptly leaves.

Ronnie looked at me wondering why Frank accepted a mystery bag rather than cash (Frank apparently didn't believe in the American banking system). "Dang, thanks Fjord...that must have been quite the bill. That had to have been like...I don't know hundreds of dollars.".

Jonas nudged my shoulder again, "dang girl, is he loaded too?", giggling.

"Ah no worries, I just wanted to show my appreciation for being so welcoming.", his smiled warmly. Suddenly he snapped to head to the door.

Oh no.

Jeff and his gang were at Frank's tonight. I guess their usual hangover hang out at Tom's house may have gone wrong considering he lives with his mother.

I was sitting next to Fjord and I FEEL his growling. I had to whisper to him, "Fjord ...Fjord not here, you don't need to do anything.".

His eyes were locked on to Jeff, I was starting to get scared of he was going to kill him in front of everyone in the bar.

His friends from the station were laughing, meanwhile he still looked so drained, a little more rested but drained.

"Hey what are you looking at asshole!?", Tom aggressively spoke to Fjord from all the way across the bar.

Jeff turned around to see who it was...I could tell there was something brewing in him. I would feel more sympathetic to him if it weren't for everything I'd gone through with him.

His eyes shot to Fjord, it was a look of jealousy.

Fjord was standing his guard. Me and him knows he could take every single one of them. However I was more worried of the scene this could cause.

The others at our table began to worry, Ronnie looked at Jeff, than to Fjord. Whom by this point resembled a guard dog than that tall strong friendly weirdo who made wolves howl.

"Lorey, what's going on? Does Fjord know those guys?", the concern in his voice began to match my anxiety with the situation. I look to him and began to gently touch Fjord's arm to calm him down.

"Fjord, you can relax. Please. He isn't going to do anything....he can't anyway.", I felt like I didn't get through to him yet. So, I pull his arm a little, put my arm around his shoulders and place my face on to his, I didn't care about the pungent alcoholic smell from either of us... just close as contact I could get sitting next him.

It was for some... primordial reason....all I could think of doing.

Fjord, finally began to loosen his guard. "Lass?".

"Please Fjord, I'm ok, you're ok, and everyone here is ok...", all I could do is speak as if I was soothing him. I'm not even sure if it was the correct way to do it, but it was working.

He shuffled closer and wrapped his arm around me. "Yes, ok...thank you lass....".

It was a strange moment, time stopped, the sounds of the bar faded out, and it was just our hearts beating.

"Hey, man, come closer to us and-", Jonas was threatening someone as I had my eyes closed.

"-or what... you'll call the cops?", a dead toned, familiar voice had rung out.

"oh shit.", I whispered. I look up to see Jeff.... just standing next to our table. The look on his eyes was of betrayal? Bags under his eyes and an unblinking stare.

"Jeff.... seriously. Please leave us alone.", Ronnie and the guys at our table had not begun to raise their guard.

"....who's....the red head....", Jeff didn't ask...he just made a statement disguised as a question.

Fjord just turned to him, expressionless as he could muster. "....Fjord....you must be Jeff...."

"yeah..... you're not from around...are you?", Jeff was just looking at Fjord, trying to make sense of him. This huge, big red haired man, something about Fjord reminded Jeff of.... monsters...".... where are you from...Fjord?"

Jonas interrupted, "He's from Europe, Jeff, of course he's not from around here.", although Jonas could have been off by a few light-years. Her comment actually helped.

"oh...like...where.... Ireland.... Scotland?....", he continued monotonly.

Having no idea where or what was either of the two countries, "Yes. Both.", I couldn't help but think maybe Fjord was messing with him. "I have family there.".

Jeff just stared at him, than to me. "....you moved on pretty qui-", suddenly Fjord just barked at him.

"Wrouff!", it was as if I had a large but gentle dog next to me.

The scream Jeff let out along with the startled jump he did was the greatest comedic timing one could ever ask for. Not even on accident you could ask for a better jump scare.

He fell to the floor as his Tom, Beck and Mark help him up, "See I told you we should have gone to Portland today!", Beck scolded Tom.

"What and have my girlfriend find out?! Hell no.", he refuted.

Struggling to get his friend up as he was a bit tangled in the chair he felt on, "You asshole it was your idea!", Mark squeaked.

The gang was laughing harder as some of the patrons, who already had their share of grievances with Jeff's gang of friends, began to laugh too.

"Come on man! He wasn't even that loud.", Ronnie cackled.

I hid my laughter so I didn't make it worse for Jeff, Fjord's laugh sounded like the victorious chuckle of some fantasy hero who's just defeated a dragon.

"What is the matter lad? Dog got yur tongue?", Fjord quipped, the laughing continued.

Jeff quickly shuffled up to his feet, "YOU SON OF A BITCH! THATS ASSAULT OF AN OFFI-", Tom tapped his shoulder.

"Bro that isn't going to work there likes several witnesses and Chief already said you can't just say that.", Tom had made a serious point. Jeff for the longest time had always used that excuse whenever he had been inconvenienced by some of the people around. Now, it's completely pointless to do so.

Huffing angrily, "I'll get you for this! FORD!".

Tilting his head, "Ugh...it's Fjord.".

"WHATEVER YOU FUCKING SWED!!!!", he huffed again and looked at me.

Probably hoping for some cheesy revelation that Fjord is some highschool picking on the little guy trope....but it's not going to work anymore.

I just gave him a look of pity. "Jeff... please. I'm sorry for what's happened between us...but its really over now...".

The ball dropped for him right there. "...you know what....fuck it lets-", he was about to put up his fists until a heavy hand was placed on his shoulders. It was Frank.

Frank the only retired Navel officer in the whole time. He had trained out at sea for a better part of his youth, took absolutely no shit from anyone....and he wasn't just going to let a bar fight happen in his nice and reputable place.

"No pig fights allowed.", it was barely a warning, he just dragged Jeff outside along with Tom in tow, Beck and Mark were also being forced out but his brother and husband. All four where kicked out of his bar. "AND STAY OUT, chumps.". He went back behind the bar and went on like nothing happened.

Fjord was impressed by this, "Oh...thank you Frank! I owe you a debt of gratitude!", he waved.

Frank just grumbled to himself just satisfied that no one split nose blood on his nice clean wood flooring. "Oh, Pauly, can you please call Chief Colt and tell him his rascal son is causing a commotion again. He's also banned.".

Pauly cocked his eye, "Wasn't he banned from here last time for that Christmas party last year?".

Frank stopped for a quick second to think about that, "...well he's banned again until I forget.".

After a few more minutes, it was finally closing time.

Ronnie checked if it was clear for us to go to back to our cars. These guys were still police officers after all. "ok, looks like they left."

As everyone headed back to their cars and said their goodbyes, me and Fjord head back home.

I sighed from the fun, all though a little bit too close for a close shave situation, we had back at the bar. "Fjord I have to ask, why are you still so sober? I swear you had drunk like 2 gallons of beer or something.".

Licking his lips remembering the mead likely enough, "Oh yes. You see lass, all Astartes had a special organ implanted in us. It helps filter and purify any contaminats, poisons or anything that could inebriate us. However, life can be pretty boring of you're sober lass. So...we the mighty Vlka Fenryka, had found a cure for such an issue...MJORD. Unfortunately...I can kill mortals like you just by getting a whiff.", he laid back a little.

"Ah yeah, I remember you telling me that...", the mystery toxic concoction he told me about a while ago had me wondering. "...what is it made of?"

He gave a tilted smile, "heh, nothing that could be made 'ere on earth. It requires the vegetation and Fenric roots to ferment for weeks, than a ceremony has to be done to purify it so it don't just turn into some nurglelin sludge.", he huffed a little and looked out the car window to see the stars. "....I wonder where Fenris is from this planet....".

I could tell he was homesick, "you miss your home don't you?", I glanced over to him laying down comfortably.

"Well ...yes, there are aspects of Fenris I do miss...yet...so far here has been great too....it's... peaceful."

The word peaceful may mean two different things from both our perspectives. In my eyes, the world had gotten very dangerous....wars, the climate, the looming doomsdays that supposedly needs to happen.

Maybe from his world view, this place is peaceful not because it is.... because it isn't the world he is use to.

"Yeah, it's nice out here, I'm wondering...do you think I'd like Fenris if it was possible of me going?", wondering what he would say.

He looked at me a with shock, "Would fancy bein frozen the second you step foot on the cold sharp winds lass?", he said it with much urgency it was cute.

I giggled a little from his reaction, "no not really, funny enough it sounds like you lived in a place similar to Antarctica. It's the coldest place I know for certain.".

He sat there wondering about what I said, "ugh... pardon me lass but where is Antarctica?".

"It is a cold, isolated place in the most southern pole of Earth, it's name purely defined by the fact it has no bears.", I felt the need to throw that little tidbit.

The cogs in his brain were trying to figure out how dangerous were the bears on earth to the point we named a whole continent after not having bears.

He just laughed off, "Alright lass, such a strange planet this is... wonderfully strange."

We drove back home with the volume of the car low.

As we get out of the car, I checked my new yellow mail box for regular mail. Nothing new, just bills and useless advertisements.

We head inside and lay down to relax after an eventful day.

"So lass, I believe it is time for your slumber I presume?", he sat on the couch, laying his head back watching me place my things on the kitchen table.

"yeah, it's past midnight, lucky for me I have a day off tomorrow.", as I tell him this, that business card falls right out of the pocket.

"hmm.... Ben....I wonder....", I remember what Ben and his gang wanted to do but I had begun to wonder how much they knew of the space marines. "Hey Fjord, let's go out tomorrow. I want to do some...reconnaissance.".

He turns around, "Oh, what for lass? Is there something you think Aldercon needs to know about?", he gives a cheeky grin.

"Maybe, there's a guy in town who tries to find Space Marines. I'm wondering how much he actually knows...you know....to see if he could be helpful or a threat?", I look at him, he knows what I mean by threat.

"oh ok lass, do you need me to do anything for now?", he asked.

A bit of a strange question, "ugh, no I'm fine. I better get to bed.", I yawned a little, I get a glass of water for him if he needed something to drink in the middle of the night. "Goodnight Fjord, I'll see you in the morning.". I give his head a little scratch and caress.

"hmmm, goodnight lass.", his eyes close as he dozed off.

I turn off the lights and head to my room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving down the highway, a large bus full of people drive past the welcome sign of Pine Hills.

There was noise in the bus, chanting, incantations humming in the air.

The driver.....blank masked man.

An old, greyed lady in bright, fashionably colored robes lifts her hand up. "STOP."

The bus makes a stop in a camp parking lot, the bus door eerily opening, with the clapping of her sandles, the lady steps out and examines the clearing. She looks to the stars, uttering in tongues to herself.

Praying to something....or someone.

Turning around, with a terrible grin on her face, "COMMENCE....the pilgrimage! TO THE GREAT ONE!", pointing dramatically to the forest trail. "HE awaits.....".

As her command was heard by the group of 20 or so people. As they all get out from the bus in a single file line. They collect their things, and march to the mountain ridge.

The lady stays behind, waves her hand at the bus....as a pinkish and blue glow emanates from her palm, a familiar sigil appears.

The bus begins to fold, unnaturally like if it was being crumpled like a piece of paper. The driver inside, unreactive to what was happening. He too, began to fold like paper. With metal bending, glass cracking and plastic squeaking.

The bus had shrunk down into the size of a model toy version of the bus. The driver was strunken as well.

The lady walked up to the bus, picking it up and peaking into the bus. "Soon...the great one will consume this pathetic world...and create a new world. HEHEHE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA!", her manic laughing echoed through the night.

What had once been considered an impossibility, had now begun to leak...into our world.

End of Log 16

@kit-williams @barn-anon @egrets-not-regrets

@gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @walking-natural-disaster @starfrost740

@squishyowl @sleepyfan-blog @lawnchair86

[blorbologist]

Okay, so 'X actually lives' AUs are not my thing (I'd rather see equal consequences to counterbalance the 'happy ending'), and this is especially true for Molly because Kingsley and Cad are both great, BUT-

During my M9 rewatch, when Fjord, Jester and Yasha are taken, Lorenzo is pleased that they hauled, and I quote, 'Two divine bloods and one half-beast'. Fjord is clearly the half-beast, and Yasha's obviously an aasimar, but that Jester is lumped with her as a divine blood caught my interest.

So tieflings are valuable, then.

I know literally the next line states that their cages are at capacity, but... Lorenzo could have hauled Molly's unconscious body into a cage if 'divine bloods' are that good a find. If a teenage aasimar could fetch 10k gold apiece in the Fire Plane (C1e75), I do wonder if it'd be more worth his while to haul away this prize. (Ofc aasimar prices could be inflated in that marketplace! But even 2k would be nothing to sniff at!)

As much as it pains my lil heart, because she IS my favorite... Beau is right there. A dirt-common human, and probably just as good an example to make Keg get the message.

Has anyone done this? It feels like such an easy shift for canon divergence that then opens up a huge door full of possibilities.

(Just consider the domino effect this would have. M9's disposition towards people/problems likely remain prickly, reduce the likelihood of them teaming up/trusting a lot of people down the linr. Maybe the extra bodies means someone is offloaded and sold earlier, not to be found in the Iron Shepherds' dungeons. What impact would Cad not being there to heal/rez at key moments have? How would Fjord's arc be deviated without his guidance? And Beau's, if she lives, without the impact Molly's death had on her? Aeor and Lucien would, of course, be completely different! Just! Think about it!)