#I won't be able to watch the ep live

[the-gene-mile]

didn't like any of the other sketches i did for tonight's ep so i hope a tiny sleepy gene will suffice

[namism]

scars | roronoa zoro

➳ categories: canonverse, poor zoro rip bozo, gender neutral reader

➳ warnings: ep. 377/ ch. 485 spoilers

➳ word count: 492

➳ notes: i'm practicing how to write stories less than 500 words but i'm failing at it

It's when Sanji runs to you in panic that you start panicking yourself, too.

Without much words, the chef leads you to the bow of Thriller Bark, where your crew's swordsman is doused in blood from head to toe. Roronoa Zoro's white Henley shirt is torn with no hopes of salvaging the cloth, and his trousers are holed in his thighs and knees. Splattered blood accompanies the grime and dirt that rest on the rocks and stones, which have dried in the past hour that the sun has been up.

Zoro stands unbothered and unmoving, but his body shakes subtly from the injuries he sustains. His arms are crossed over his chest, and his eyes stay firm on the forest ahead of him. You attempt to talk to him but receive no reply, even with Chopper's incessant cries in the distance.

In a few moments, Zoro stumbles on his feet, and he finally collapses, his eyes closing as soon as you catch his body. Sanji runs to his aid, and together, you haul the man into a shaded space inside the castle ruins.

The Rolling Pirates watch the scene unfold. Chopper digs into his medical kit for clean bandages, while you fetch a pail of water from a nearby well. Your hands work expertly as bandages cover the man's body in no time. His torn shirt is gone, and his trousers are covered by dampened cloth to soak up the blood.

While the rest of the crew fall on their backs in exhaustion, you sit crosslegged beside an unconscious Zoro and a napping Chopper on your lap. You lean on the stone pillar behind you, slow enough that it won't shock the rickety structure from falling down, and heave out a sigh.

"You're an idiot, Zoro," you curse under your breath as you stare down at the injured man. "You do this every time."

You know that he can't hear you, but it's a truth that you want him to know in one way or another, whether or not he's in the proper state of consciousness for it.

"I hate you, dumbass." You pout as your vision blurs from the tears that trickle in your eyes. Chopper stirs in his sleep. "And if you get injured this badly again, who's going to look after you?"

It annoys you greatly that Zoro gets himself into deep trouble that results in fatal injuries and permanent scarring on his body. Zoro hardly makes it out of a battle alive, yet he still pushes himself to live another day like it's nothing. Without Chopper around, you might not have been able to save the swordsman yourself on the countless missions you've been on with the crew.

Amid your complaints and quibbles, Zoro hears the faint tone of your voice at the very back of his head. Upon recognition, he lets himself be pulled into a deeper sleep, knowing full well that he's safe under your care.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Taiwan has one show, but that's all they need

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I don’t say this often but I LOVE this love triangle. The longing gazes = chef's kiss. I like that we are finally getting flashbacks to Tai’s side of the love affaire. This show remains highly engaging. So pleased for MaxNat.  

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 5 of 8 - More lesbians! Yay! Meanwhile, when our leads make up they make out! (Yes I’m proud of myself.) I think this might be BLs first rooftop sex scene. We’ve reached new heights, BLabies. (Yes I’m proud of that too.) Anygay, basically a soap opera at this point, I'm not thrilled but I don’t mind.

"Do you apologize for being straight?"

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - It was lovely. Very well done celebrity leaving the closet ep. Nice ensemble work too. Next week is doom! As expected. 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. It’s fine but overly very pulp feeling for something from GMMTV. I'm a little concerned.

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - meh.

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7 of 8 - Never turned up on my usual sites. So will have to wait until next week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 7 of 11 - Qian was, indeed, the one who couldn’t let go. This show is fucking fantastic. It's the best thing I'm watching right now by a mile.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 3-8fin - The bully and the blue-haired drummer side pairing were great. I hated the father. Hated him so much. Our main tsundere seme was a bit too tsundere for me. I was v annoyed by the time he finally softened. I'm amused by all the ways they finagled boys kissin-but-not-kissing in the first half of this show. 2024's "pan around the back of the head" has now become a "dipping of the brolly." We did, however, eventually get an okay kiss.

Honestly?

This was basically what I wanted from Given and didn’t get. So I’m pleased. The music still wasn't great, but you can skip those bits. A solid enemies to lovers BL, where the sins of brothers' past haunts the present. Great optics, decent chemistry, and a tidy script even if tsundere characterization went a bit extreme in some cases. 8/10 RECOMMENDED trigger for suicide

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - We got the past betrayal in detail and it was decently bad. Bitterness understood. Too soon to live together! The BL U-Haul strikes again. I do like their weird curry passive aggressive argument. This is an interesting show. Do I LOVE it? No. But I think I like it.

On a not-really-related note: adoption, including adult adoption, is actually pretty common in Japan (comparatively). It's often tied to business scionism.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 8fin - It all turned out to be a tragic GL in the end. Not BL = not my problem. No rating. I will forget its existence right about… now. 

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 1-2 of 12 - Okay, weirdly kinky with the head scratching. Not much has happened and I’m not wild about what has. 

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN but I need my other computer and I'm traveling as usual. So I'll get caught up next week and probably won't regularly be able to watch this one.

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much for me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - Completed. Worth watching?

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

In the news

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari is getting the undeserved honor of Furritsubs. Follow them for details. Tip 'em if you like 'em. (Will I watch it? Oh, probably. Damn it.)

Then Next Prince turned out to be a trailer only. Word on the webs is we will be lucky if we get it this year. It’s BL Princess Diaries. Jimmy has a new pairing (that boy from Night Dream) which is... interesting. All in all, this show does not look good. Pretty but not good.

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/12 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

Still to Come in April

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

See City of Stars & Unknown.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[acesofspadess]

Rewind

I definitely published this a bit out of order but bare with me

“Hello Team Niall.” Niall introduced as they all waved and greeted him back. “Well, I've got a bit of news for you. Because of my concert schedule, I actually won't be in town for knockout rehearsals.” Everyone was shocked… and rightfully so. “Because I won't be there, I've chosen another coach to come in and mentor you guys for rehearsal.” Everyone started to freak out wondering who on earth it might be. 

“And they have been in your place before so I think they’ve got exactly what you need.”

The scene changed to the all too familiar practice room with an empty directors chairs. The sounds of steps progressively got louder until the special person appeared. 

“I'M BACK!” 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's rewind a bit.

~~~~~~

A day or two after The Voice Finale

“Hi I’m Maia Quinn, and I'm the Season 23 winner of The Voice, and we're hanging out with Rob on Front Row Live.”

“Go with me.” Niall moaned into your mouth as you straddled him. “Where?” you question kissing down his neck. “Boston. I know it's last minute and we’d leave in the morning-” you shut him up with a kiss and a roll of your hips, his hands tightening against your thighs. “Just wake me up an hour before we leave.”

Sitting at the desk of you and Niall’s shared hotel room the morning of May 26th  you had early interviews to get through before you were meant to go to the festival. You looked over the camera to see Niall already looking at you.

“Maia congratulations. What a night you had a few nights ago.” Rob praised and you smiled adjusting your airpod. “I am super excited for you and your career and your future. Especially because you're starting so young. You have enough time to kind of like, continue to evolve, and understand your voice; learn a lot more about yourself throughout this process. Talk to me about this process of your experience here on the voice and how you've evolved as a vocalist and a performer.” The interview was more than you could ever imagine. 

“Now your relationship with Niall this season has had fans going crazy. From the after performance hugs to the duet, and the after party, what can you tell us about that?”

You saw Nialls face peak over the laptop screen and stayed neutral. “Niall has been the most supportive and very encouraging. He has become one of my best friends through this whole journey. I lost a lot of my confidence during the pandemic unfortunately. It made me think that I would never be able to do things that I certainly could do and Niall- all these years later- has been there to remind me that I probably can do them, and then make me do it. So our friendship and relationship has been so important to me. He is my best friend across the charts and he’d hate me for saying this, but I wouldn't be here without him.” 

“Last question before we go. Is there anything we can look forward to seeing soon? Maybe another EP?”

You smiled glad you were able to share some information on what was coming next. “All I'll say now is, look for me on stage back home.” you winked dramatically knowing those who would get it would get it.”

“That's amazing, I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled. It was so great having you on. I hope to see you in person soon.”

“Bye!” 

``````````````

View comments

User10 i'm actually really happy she won

User2 wait…Slane is in Ireland…..

User6 I just learned she had an EP…. what?!?!?!?

Being at Boston Calling with him

“Boston, Massachusetts, how you doing?” he asked the crowd after he finished ‘Heaven’. The loud response made him smile excitedly. “Holy shit! This is crazy.” you face palmed knowing he was going to slip up sooner or later. “Thank you all so much for coming out to see me. I really appreciate it.” they cheered again as he sipped his water. You watched as he looked at the amount of people and a smile formed on your face.

 “This is uhm- this is actually my first ever Festival.” he let out a breath at the realisation. “I've definitely been drunk at a few.” you laughed at him with the rest of the crowd. “But I've never played at any and for that reason I'm absolutely shitting myself.” he said looking at you knowing you would calm him, and him seeing you laugh did just the trick. 

“But thank you for being here. I know some of you guys have been queuing for years.” he looked around at the signs “My girlfriend showed me this earlier ‘i travelled four thousand miles to be here from Brazil’ your eyes went wide at the declaration and the deafening screams were present. He subtly looked in your direction and saw your reaction, his worry diminished as he saw you smiling making him smile. “Makes you feel bad from coming just down the road doesn't it? ‘I came from round New York’.” he mocked, “awe who cares.” he laughed with them and you hid a big smile behind your hands. 

~~~~

You walked the same route you came flashing your pass when you reached the gate and made your way in to see Niall. When you saw him you squealed and ran over to him. He turned when he heard you and caught you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist and he spun you both around hands on the swell of your bum.

“I'm so proud of you!” you screamed and he laughed before he was kissing you passionately. It was quick as many more pecks through giggles followed. “I can not explain to you how happy i am.” he whispered in shock as you were sitting in the trailer behind the stage and he was getting changed. “You should be so happy, my love. That was incredible, and I am so so proud of you.” he smiled at you before grabbing your hand and kissing the ring on it. “You make me so happy, baby girl.” you melted at his words and stood up to kiss him softly. “And you make me the happiest girl, Ni.”

You surprising Niall at his Zane Lowe interview and him outing you 

You knew Niall was disappointed when you told him you wouldn't be able to make it to his Zane Lowe interview today. He was really excited for this one and wanted you to be there. It was only a few days later that you flew from Boston down to LA for the interview. You were working on last minute stuff for the announcement today and you were nowhere close to done when he was getting ready to leave.

“I'm sorry love.” you kissed his pout away as you both stood by the door of his  LA house. “I know, it’s okay. I know why you can’t make it, and for that I am so very proud.” he melted his lips against yours as your hands went to the curls on the back of his neck and he wrapped his went straight to your bum.

~~~

Niall was watching Zane play his songs and the guitar with a big smile a few hours after he left. “There are some pretty songs on this record bro.” Zane complimented as he switched playing from ‘The Show’ to ‘You could start a cult’. You who had just made it into the studio to surprise Niall were standing behind the glass watching him, waiting for him to notice. 

“Thank you very much.'' He cut through Zanes music. “This one kills me.” Zane admitted as Niall caught on to what he was playing. “Yeah.” he cheered Zane on softly, finally noticing you. You saw his smile widened and you waved softly. “You Could Start A Cult.” he named distractedly, still looking at you as if he looked away you would disappear. 

~~~

“Kingdoms fighting over you,” Niall continued. “I think that like they’re the ones- that could have very easily been, ‘ i like waking up beside you and you're my favourite person.” he joked easily. “But ‘you could start a war’.” you shook your head at his lyrical genius. “Do you ever crack yourself up with it?”

‘Yeah it was something silly at first but now everyone's obsessed with it. It started with me and my girlfriend now, when we met we would watch crime shows together over facetime,” he exposed and you chuckled at his laugh.

‘You say girlfriend now, sorry if i'm over stepping but..” zane trailed off

“No,” he shrugged off looking at you, who nodded, “she was not my girlfriend at the time, she is now, is what that meant.”

“So did she not know the song was for her?”

“She didn't know any song was for her- or about her I should say. The road from when we met to now has been a very dark windy tunnel, but we made it to the other end.”

“That's beautiful Niall, truly.” You smiled at him agreeing with Zane.

“This was the last song on the record that we wrote.” Niall confessed, and you wondered why. “Why, what was missing?” and without hesitation he pointed to you, “her.” Zane looked to where he was pointing and you waved happily at him. He waved back to you just as happy before turning to Niall with a face of shock. “No?” he gasped and Niall laughed, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I know. Way out of my league.” he watched you shake your head with an eye roll and he couldn't stop the smile from gracing his face.

“I could’ve gone and did what I did with the rest of the record and put BV’s all over it and strings and that was my plan - and John just said to me- because we we were not talking at the time…” he pointed between you and him, “...this is your message to,” he paused, ‘“ her’ keep it that way. Just you and your guitar and your feelings.”

And while there's much much more… you’ll see that soon

[aeternalis-eien]

Gravity Falls LIVES!

So, just like so many other fans, with the release of the Book of Bill and everything, I've been re-watching the show alot and I've decided to add to the ever growing piles of Gravity Falls Fandom greatness/fun! So here are some of a Head cannons with the Falling Stars AU. *Just a note, I was not in the fandom when it was first coming out, and recently only got to find out about some of the cool AUs out there so that is part of what has caused this lol* For those like me who are learning about some of the cool AUs- Falling Stars is an AU of what if Mabel had been pulled into the portal in EP "Not what He Seems".

Also a note, I have not read book of Bill, the third journal or the comic that was published as I just have not had the chance so alot of this information/stuff I know referencing them, I will admit I got from Tik Tok so bare with me! Head Cannons that I might do one-shots on later:

-Dipper makes his parents give Stan full custody of him and Mabel with child support. The nightmare he has about his parents arguing is regarding how neither of them want either of the twins after their divorce as they find them creep/freaky and would not 'mesh' with their new families. (He could never tell Mabel of what he heard-She knew though)

-Mabel mistook Ford for Stan at first when he saved her from a black hole that was the cause of her being sucked into the portal. She spent hours clinging to him and just sob babbling. (This is also how Ford learned who she was and what likely happened)

-Mabel went into shock for four weeks after realizing what happened and that there isn't a quick/easy way to get home. (She learns to cope by being her 'normal' bubbly weird self.)

-Stan's panic, fear, and freak out in trying to get Mabel back in those early days is what allowed Dipper to not blame him for what happened and actually sit down and hear him out about why he was building the portal. (This would be basically the EP of Tale of Two Stans)

-Dipper has been allowed into Stan's mind/memories with his permission. This started with Stan wanting to regain Dipper's trust and then grew into their search for clues on repairing the portal that Dipper might be able to figure out that Stan couldn't.

-Dipper and Stan spend years trying to get the portal working again, even though Stan forces him to socialize and not stop living his life/existing.

-After Mabel and Ford finally get back, they are able to explain the reason that the portal couldn't just be turned back on due to how dangerous it was. (Back to back uses could rip reality apart fully if not the very planet itself.)

-Mabel acts like her old silly self as not only a coping method but as a way to hold to who she once was, but she can flip on a dime into a serious warrior survival type mode.

-Pacifica and Dipper started dating in high school. Since the weirdness continues in Gravity Falls (and outside it) they grow closer during one of these situations. -Dipper found out that Pacifica is actually really smart, she even ends up joining him and Stan on working on the portal. -She honestly does love Dipper.

-Wendy and Stan ended up 'forcefully' teaching Dipper how to be 'athletic' in their own ways. -Stan got him into boxing and gifted him his own brass knuckles -Wendy got him into parkour and rock climbing. - Pacifica got him into light gymnastics; but he won't talk to anyone else about it.

-Dipper blames himself for Mabel being pulled into the portal and believes that if he had just trusted Stan none of it would have happened.

-Mabel blames herself for getting pulled in, believing that if she hadn't let go of the button she wouldn't have been so easily pulled in and is worried about what has happened to Stan and Dipper.

-Stan taught Dipper how to pick locks as a hobby and 'male bonding' -Pacifica picked it up and is better at it then both of them.

-Dipper took up photography and found that he has the talent and skill to be professional. He started this so that he could continue Mabel's scrapbooks. -Pacifica, Greta and Candy now do a weekly scrapbook day after finding Dipper spiraling at 14 trying to balance his time doing everything.

-Ford made Mabel a digital journal/camera that she can wear as either a watch or a pendant so that she can record/photograph their journey to show Dipper when they get home. -Ford lost hope finding a way home long ago, but he doesn't want her to become like him.

-Greta has become a very popular travel influence/blogger thanks to her royal boyfriend. They are in love and very loyal to each other. -She likes to collect things from her travels to give to Mabel when she returns.

-Candy is on her way to become an internationally acclaimed robotics and prosthetics engineer. -She helps ensure Dipper's protective gear actually works.

-Pacifica has become independently wealthy away from her family due to her skills in finances and stocks. She also handle's Dipper's investments and patents as well as McGucket's. -She basically runs the fiances for the Shack, Stan and Dipper as she claims they are money morons- they are of course. -She has made sure the shack has been kept up and all the work is properly funded for the portal repairs.

-Dipper moved into Ford's old room after a year and a half as he couldn't handle seeing Mabel's things, but couldn't bring himself to move or touch them either.

-Waddles is/has been taken care of by everyone as every single person can't imagine how sad Mabel would be if she returned and he was gone.

-Mabel is known across the multiverse as the greatest matchmaker in any reality. She has made a solid name for herself and brings in 'funds' for her and Ford's travels. -She is even sought out by multiverse royalty for her skills in finding compatible matches that are known to be long lasting.

-Ford calls Mabel Kirk as she left a trail of broken hearts through their travels by no fault of her own as someone 'always' fell head over heels for her; even if she was clueless about it. -Mabel doesn't get the reference.

-After Mabel returns, she has kept in contact with some of the friends she made in traveling with a crystal flower that she keeps safe. When she first got back it looks like she was just talking to herself freaking out Dipper and Stan, but they eased when Ford explained what was going on during a particular heated conversation she was having with someone's who's language is to shout aggressively.

-Dipper grew his hair out because it reminds him of Mabel; he normally wears it tied back or braided when he is working.

-Mabel cut her hair short because it reminds her of Dipper; Ford isn't the best barber so Mabel learned how to do both their hair for him.

-Mabel takes out at least three of Bill's friends during Weirdmageddon herself. Stan is both horrified and deeply impressed.

I'm sure I'll think of more and might just add on to this lol.

I hope everyone enjoys some of my HC!

[byslantedlight]

Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

[buddiebeginz]

In the middle of a rewatch right now and I'm at s4. I know what I'm about to say is unpopular because I've had people angry at me before when I've made posts about it but I feel like one of the characters who the show and fandom too often treat like they can do no wrong is Maddie. I love her and I especially love her relationship with Buck but there are some storylines with her that forever drive me crazy.

I think all of the characters have made mistakes at different times that's part what I love about the show. That all of the characters are relatable and we've watched them grow and change and have to really deal with the messes they make.

Maddie though I feel often gets a pass because of what she dealt with from Doug or because she essentially had to raise Buck.

In s3 Maddie used her position at the call center to stalk a woman. To lie to her and pretend to be her friend so she could try and save her from her life. I get that a big reason Maddie did this is because she wasn't in a good headspace after what happened in s2 with Doug but it was still all kinds of messed up. She even lied to Chim about it. Sue at the call center tells her she needs to go talk to a therapist and Chim calls her out for lying but for the most part no one makes a big deal about it even after she continues to get involved in that woman's life.

My bigger issues with Maddie though are connected to Buck. In s4 Maddie finds out Buck is going to therapy and he won't really tell her why. She gets worried about him and decides without telling him to not only tell her parents that he's in therapy but to invite their parents to come for a visit. Which I found to be so thoughtless. Whatever relationship Maddie might have with her parents it's clear they didn't have that with Buck. You can tell that by the whole baby box thing.

She should have asked him before talking about his private business with parents Buck wasn't even in contact with. She definitely should have talked to him before inviting them to LA. He should have had the option to not see them if he didn't want to. If you watch 404 when Maddie tells Buck their parents are coming he talks about how it's basically too late to do anything about it now. How Maddie waited until they were already almost there to even tell him they were coming. Maddie also talks about how Buck had been in Texas (for the Lone Star crossover ep) so she literally waited until he was away and had no ability to voice his opinion on them coming.

Even worse than just bringing the parents there is that Maddie kept Daniel a secret from Buck, long after both of them had moved out of their parents house. Like I could understand her not really having a choice when they were little and both still living at home. And I know Maddie had a lot going on with Doug for a while but when she came to LA she should have found time to sit Buck down and talk to him about their brother. Instead she decides to tell Chim before she ever tells Buck and lets Buck find out accidently.

I know some have argued that she was just trying to protect Buck but I'm sure she would have wanted to know if she was in Buck's position. Also keeping Buck in the dark about the truth of his own life and family for his entire life isn't protecting him it's just being cruel.

I will always hate how the show handled all of this stuff with Buck because I think he deserved to be angry at least for a little bit with Maddie and he deserved to be able to tell her how her keeping this from him made him feel and the show didn't give that to him. I'm not saying I didn't want them to make up of course I did and I love their relationship but I wanted some accountability from Maddie and the show never gives that.

[mineonmain]

as @lurkingshan said earlier today, "Get bent, Maya"

I haven't been this pressed about a fictional character (antagonist???? she is one to me now!!) in a hot minute. Before I get into her in this ep, I wanna preface by saying that I do have the actual manga, but I wanted to finish watching the show before I went and read the manga for comparison, so that i'm going into this with basically an open mind. So I have no idea how this compares to the manga version of her.

Also if it wasn't clear, Spoilers for I Hear The Sunspot ep 7. Okay.

So it's the start of a new academic year, and we're introduced to freshman Maya, who is a Science major, is also Deaf/Hard of Hearing, and is Kohei's new tutee in the university as a result of having a mutual friend. That is the extent of what we know about her. Other than Kohei being her tutor and maybe a pseudo mentor/companion who can understand and appreciate her disability, they have absolutely no connection. They are not childhood friends or family.

Which begs the question, why on gods green earth is she so invested in what Kohei does or doesn't do, and who he is or isn't with???

Lady, he doesn't know you. He doesn't owe you anything, because you objectively mean nothing to him. So you've grown up with a really severe and isolating disability, I get it. But that's not a good enough reason to become so bitter that you decide to become judge jury executioner on every (visibly) abled person's morals. (Which is so incredibly telling, judging people on how visibly disabled they look or act, when you have a disability that is fairly invisible, unless you can see hearing aids or a cochlear implant or something like that. Interesting how that works, huh.) (Having a disability doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole.)

Maybe, just maybe, you're allowed to act like that based on how people act towards you. But what gives you the right to walk up to the friend of a friend (??) that you absolutely know nothing about, and mete out judgement? To decide how that person is allowed to interact with someone else, a someone else that you have no claim or authority over?

Oh, but god forbid that Kohei have a friend who doesn't treat him like a social leper, who doesn't have every interaction of theirs revolve around Kohei's deafness, who for once makes him feel included and normal.

Kohei is a grown ass man, who can make his own decisions, including his own mistakes. Who are you to suddenly come into his life and make decisions for him without his involvement, consent, or approval? And who says that any person who is friends with someone with a disability has to be physically and morally perfect?

How dare you?

If I were to sum up my biggest issues with Maya, it is in the way she talks. It's entirely indicative and reflective of how she views and interacts with society. One of the first things that Kohei tells Taichi is that he is able to understand what someone else is saying if they speak slowly, partially by listening and partially by lip reading. it's a small accommodation that we even see Taichi's friends making for Kohei. That means that when anyone talks they should talk clearly, and slowly, and try to enunciate their words properly. If we look at the way Maya talks, she barely opens her mouth at all. If I didn't know any better i'd have thought it was ADR. Given she is someone who has lived with the same sort of disability that Kohei has, she would require similar accessibility needs. And yet, while she expects the world around her to accommodate her needs, she doesn't accommodate for the world. She expects people to speak in a way that she can understand, but she won't do the same.

I'm assuming that the narrative point of Maya criticising Taichi right now is so that we get to see him go on a growth journey, where he'll become more passionate and dedicated about learning note-taking and even maybe signing (and advocating for the deaf community as an ally), and not just be a passive friend who seemingly 'takes advantage' of Kohei, and in the process become the person that Kohei truly needs, and not the person Taichi thinks is good enough.

But here's the thing. I don't care if Taichi has any growth or not. I don't care if he changes or doesn't change to maintain his friendship and relationship with Kohei. I don't care if he tries to become someone that Maya (and Kohei) can approve of.

Because Kohei already likes him the way he is.

And it's none of Maya's goddamn business. Get bent

[bunnakit]

last twilight ep 7 thoughts, feelings, etc

ALRIGHT i ran my errands, caught up on pit babe and playboyy to relax, and now i'm doing my speedwatch. i took some notes while watching the first time and they're a fucking MESS but hopefully they help me remember everything i want to comment on because without fail i always forget something.

you'll all be glad to know this week's meta bullshit from me is far, far less romantic and wistful than last weeks. you've all been spared by my adhd brain not being able to piece together a single poetic thought.

i kind of knew from this moment the trajectory the episode would take. Day is clearly nervous but not defensive - this isn't out of the realm of something Mhok would do for him but with recent context it probably feels fairly intimate. i think this was a really good indicator of what we're in for.

there's a collection of sunflowers in Day's room, tucked away in the corner, not unlike Mhok tucking away his feelings for Day's comfort. the poor things are shrouded in shadow, away from the light. the pain is unending and forever.

Day's flashback to the kiss has me curious. his eyes are closed so he's not even thinking back to seeing what he can of Mhok up close. as he reminisces about this kiss is he simply remembering the sensation of Mhok's lips on his own? how his hands curled into Mhok's jacket? and i'm sure we've all seen the post but - was he thinking of the way Mhok tasted like cigarettes? this isn't to romanticize his disability, i'm just genuinely wondering what exactly he's drawing on here in this moment, because it's clearly something significant to him.

Porjai just keeps getting prettier every episode and it's making me insane. i just think i should be allowed to take care of her.

"I'm jealous of Day's ability to make you smile."

this makes me think Mhok's smiles have been few and far between, and maybe Porjai has been looking to bring out that smile for a long time. does she ever worry that maybe someday Mhok could end up like Rung? does she worry about finding him too?

oh i so very badly want the context for this, i want to know everything. but also, it's really not that surprising. not when we've seen the things Mhok has done for Day. Mhok lives his life in extremes; anger, kindness, protectiveness, his work, etc. everything Mhok does he puts his whole self into it and it's nice to see his love is no different, because why would it be?

i'm once again in awe of what P'Aof has done with Mhok and Porjai, though. they live together so easily and naturally. there's nothing strange or awkward about it, just two people surviving life together. it's such a breath of fresh air.

Day just cannot catch a break when it comes to August. this has to hurt so fucking badly, the pity has to feel amplified by 1000. not only was August trying to force himself to like Day back because he's blind, but also because he was thinking of leaving. Day is a stronger man than me because i would be frothing at the mouth pissed.

but once again, Mhok doesn't let Day stew in his fish tank. he encourages him to go out and resolve his feelings, even if that means screaming at August and letting out all his hurt and frustration. he's seen what happens when Day lets his hurt fester and he won't let it happen again, not while he's around.

"He's a lot stronger than I thought. It's me who's so weak that I let him down."

as much as August pisses me off, i do think this is him realizing his pity was misplaced, and he failed Day in that way, so he gets some redemption points here. (still think he's a stinky bastard man tho)

the immediate distance Mhok puts between himself and the group never fails to hurt my heart. i get it, he's there for a job, but their relationship has progressed past that - now even moreso, and i cant help but wonder if this is his attempt at keeping a distance, curbing his expectations, reminding himself that while his role is to be by Day's side it's only in a professional capacity.

i love that Gee acknowledges him with a little head nod, occasionally looks in Mhok's direction as if to include him, she's just - ugh - i love all the women in this show so fucking much. i just wish someone would invite Mhok over sometime, encourage him to join the conversation (like they did back at the party.)

sometimes Mhok really is the embodiment of a shadow - both of Day and of his former self (for good or bad.)

(he looks so fucking sexy leaning like that with his shirt tucked into his pants tho, whew.)

Gee also becomes one of my favorite people for asking Day to take the photo of all of them. she just gets it, she includes him, she doesn't act like he can't do things, she even insists he can, she's just !!! the women of all time in this show i swear!!! I LOVE WOMEN!!!!

also the "you don't drink coffee, girl spill the tea" from Gee is just so good. she knows a diversion tactic when she sees one.

i want this expression framed, she's so cute, HELP.

i wish i had the time and energy today to make gifs for this week but ugh. the journey Mhok's face went on here to end up at quiet resignation. because he did figure. someone like Day? with someone like him? because we know Mhok's opinion of himself isn't great, largely influenced by his incarceration and reintegration into society, i'm sure, along with his guilt. but there had been that little bud of hope, a little sunflower seed that had bloomed just a little too far, reached for the sun a little too much. it must feel like a weed in his chest.

the way Day says 'here' so softly, with so much vulnerability made me feel like screaming. he doesn't know what his feelings are for Mhok yet (you can't tell me he doesn't feel anything) but he knows he doesn't want to lose Mhok and the sudden idea of it is terrifying. Mhok is the only person that really understands him, one of the only people he's comfortable around anymore, and he can't lose that. he doesn't want to go back to the dirty fish tank.

i also think this was an indicator to Mhok that maybe Day doesn't know how he feels, and maybe he can get away with flirting in tiny, subtle ways because from here on his secret flirting game is in full effect and it's so fucking cute. he's careful not to completely push past Day boundaries, but to test them in gentle ways.

THE SHOES MY BELOVEDS. we all know what i feel about these shoes after last week and i'm so glad to see all of my stupid babbling confirmed here. i love that Mhok constantly mends things instead of throwing them away. the sentimentality of items means something to Mhok and we love him for that.

we also got a proper 'sweet dreams' this episode, finally!! thank you subbers!

so many shots of feet this ep tho and lemme tell you as someone that HATES feet, this was rough.

oh you are so smitten. Day realizing Mhok is warm, warm in his own way, warm in such a gentle and understated way. UGH. you would've thought he knew after everything they've been through but sometimes people need a reminder and maybe something to drive them to pay closer attention. our boy is BESOTTED. kicking his feet and giggling. i think this is the happiest we've ever seen him.

so here's where i'm probably going to wax poetic the most. Mhok is finally opening up to Day in such an incredible way. he brings Day to his home with no fear of pity or judgement. he brings him into this sanctuary created by him, his sister, and Porjai and he cooks for him and cares for him and in letting him in Day sees even more how impossibly warm Mhok is.

what's even greater is there isn't a single moment where Day is jealous or questions Porjai being there. Mhok has told him she's expecting and he's never weird about it, just kind and understanding and it's all so normalized, it's fucking beautiful. Day even takes the time to encourage Porjai, to share about his mom, and about the strength it takes to be a single mom. P'Aof i adore you.

Mhok has planted jasmine simply because he knows Day likes it, and maybe now he likes it too. and he brings Last Twilight home to practice reading (i'd always wondered how he managed to read without stumbling over himself lmao) and he's done it so much that now Porjai wants to name their child Mee, wants to create this connection to Day forever.

and once prompted, once Day knows enough to ask, Mhok opens up about Rung, talks about her more. Day comments on the warmth of the house, something started by Rung and cultivated by Mhok. it would be so easy for the house to feel cold and clinical, especially knowing what happened here, but Mhok has kept it a home - warm, inviting, comforting - all the things Mhok has been to Day.

the noises took me by fuckin' surprise tho, i genuinely looked around my house like who the fuck is making all that noise and then i was like OH THOSE ARE-- OKAY--

and I know people are like haha P'Aof has a scent kink but like. idk. maybe it's just me but scents are something i'm drawn to. i remember the way someone smelled more than i remember their face. i recently took a shirt out of my closet and immediately started crying. it smelled like face powder and perfume. it smelled like my grandma. the leather jacket pushed to the side smells like cigarettes and horses, like my dad always did.

scent is such an ingrained memory, something that is so hard for our brains to let go of. every time i get a familiar smell it knocks me on my ass, and i'm so glad to see some of this represented in these shows.

this absolutely warmed my heart. whatever is going on with Night and Day is clearly more on Day's side than anything else. Night clearly loves his brother and i'm just fucking DYING to know what is going on that is causing Day to drive a wedge between them. sure, Night hasn't been perfect, but there's love there and that counts for so much.

and what exactly are you doing here??? this is a charity run for blindness - does he know someone that is blind other than Day? did meeting Day inspire him to participate? has he spent time talking to Mhok about Day and maybe the difficulties of his blindness? i am filled with questions but i love this character so much, he's just so kind.

Day's hesitation to cross the finish line was also something i found so interesting. it felt long, possibly too drawn out, but Day needed to think, needed time to understand that if he crosses that finish line, if he accepts Mhok's request to be his boyfriend, their lives will never go back to how they were. things between them will change forever, whether the relationship is a success or otherwise. it's an incredibly mature thing of Day to do, even if it felt a little lengthy for us, the audience.

i strongly believe that in addition to Mhok Porjai is going to be a big driving force in Night and Day's reconciliation. i would love to see Porjai gain Night's side of the story, Mhok gain Day's side of the story, and the two of them working together to see how they can reunite these brothers.

also if i had a nickle for every time P'Aof paired Mark with a pregnant woman in his shows i'd have two nickles, which isn't a lot but it's interesting it has happened twice.

while i, like everyone else, hope the mock proposal is a parallel we get to see later i want to focus more on this moment.

i forget who said it, it's long gone to the depths of my dash by now, but someone commented that disabilities do not stop for love, and fuck is that so true. i love Mhok's concern, his immediate reaction to soothe, and the way he seems to feel Day's fear as his own. and poor Day, he can't even enjoy this moment of bliss with Mhok because of course, of course something like this had to happen. it's so fucking real in the way Last Twilight has been this entire time.

the constant excellent representation of disabled living has been incredible to see, i've seen so much of myself in this show (even though my disability is so very different) and it's been like a warm blanket put over very single comment: you're too young to be disabled, you aren't THAT disabled, you're being dramatic, etc.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you P'Aof and team.

tag loves: @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious (as always tell me if you want to be added {for LT only or all meta} or removed!)

[choking-on-ice]

Ok, so I've seen the latest episode. Not willing to spoiler it if you haven't seen it yet, but I do want to know your thoughts if you did see it. Currently working on ideas with it. Mostly involving Lex.

Spoilers for S2E9 of MAwS

- I was so happy to see Lex outside for the first time in the show, good for him

- I've been secretly praying for more Steve + Jimmy content and I absolutely SCREAMED

- Steve implying that his wolf mural represents him and Jimmy made my day

- Steve giving Kara such a solid casual af pep talk was perfect to me

- I feel like this ep is a great potential to have Lex's "turning point" in a fic or something. Like seeing everything go wrong and Lex helping spring Jimmy bc he realizes he fucked up, or just straight up jumping ship on Wallace when Jimmy gets arrested

- I'm hoping Jimmy's phone still live streaming Wallace wasn't just a throw-away plot device, bc so many people would have seen that and I'd like to see her pulled into the spotlight

- Jimmy attempted to use kryptonite against Brainiac-Clark in the previous ep, I could picture a lil team-up scene as he explains to Lex why it won't work

- Jimmy yet again displaying the emotional availability and communication skills that like 90% of the cast woefully lack (no shade, love them stubborn shits)

- Super Lois was dope, and the world would absolutely not be safe if she got to keep all that power lmao

- something about this episode activated my lil gremlin brain that wants to see my faves all angsty and sad:

- Lex thinking Jimmy's gonna die and it will be all his fault and how he'll never be able to face Kara.

- Jimmy thinking his failed plans led Kara and his friends to their doom and believing one of his biggest failures was never reaching Lex and pulling him out of Wallace's clutches.

- Kara finally has something to fight for only to fail at the hands of both her Father and Lex's robots, all while her fragile Jimmy is left to watch her defeat from the sidelines

- the Daily Planet showing up to save them made me so happy, these goofy journalists are more helpful than literally any cop or government official

[woozvc]

notice you

0.8

w.c - 3.1k ish

okay, this is it.

you walk into the interview room, immediately hit by the bright lights and flowers around. it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the light, maybe not wearing your glasses today wasn't the best idea. you take your seat and look ahead to them. they look unreal.

it never dawns upon you how good seventeen look in real life. almost better than their pictures. u smile at them, small bows and introductions before the cameras begin rolling. you see him and can't help but smile wider, he really is unreal.

the pd yells action and as if a new person, you're immediately more confident, reciting the script like it was engraved in your mind. "hello everyone, welcome to dingo's new show forever idol!, you've waited a long time huh? well we won't waste much time and introduce our guests for the first ep, a group who has always been very close to dingo. everyone please welcome seventeen!" small cheering by the staff followed by hoshi's "say the name" intro.

it's hard to say what exactly it is, but seventeen's energy is so calming. you don't feel like you're interviewing top idols, it feels like they're old childhood friends. the interview goes extremely smoothly, it's as if this is something you've done before. you're glad seventeen were able to make the mood a bit more lively and cheerful, they really are just a group of best friends.

asking the questions makes you understand seventeen more. the way hoshi always is excited to answer and ends up cutting someone off mid-sentence, how dk is always joining hoshi in his acts making sure he's never alone, seungkwan is always making sure that you're okay with hosting and is asking questions to you too. mingyu keeps laughing at everything and everyone and chan joins in to give small comments. vernon is usually quite, he sits back and just enjoys his members answers. sometimes he answers, and he's always answering in such a thoughtful way, it's admirable.

you wrap up your ending and the cameras are cut. you get up and offer to shake all of their hands, which they take eagerly. you get to shake vernons hand and he gives u a small smile. u return it and hope that the faint red tint creeping up your neck to your cheeks isn't noticible by him.

the pd says you guys can take some rest so they can film a behind video, ones where they run around asking them random questions. you excuse yourself from the group to the snacks aisle in the other room.

maybe it's because you're nervous, or scared, that u almost drop ur phone at the mention of your name. u catch your phone before it drops and see seungkwan and vernon before you"we surprised you huh? haha sorry but y/n we have a very serious and important question." seungkwan starts, emphasising the "serious and important" part.

you say a small yes when seungkwan hands the mic to vernon and he continues "so y/n fried chicken or ramen" a very serious question indeed u think. after a few seconds of thought u say your answer "fried chicken, it's my comfort food" and vernon gives u a victory high five with a smile while seungkwan looks to the camera in a rant about how fried chicken makes bloating worse and what not. honestly you couldn't pay attention, not when vernon looked at u.

the rest of the interviews were fun to watch, you got to know hoshi and dk LOVE having the camera on them and that dino likes being called handsome more than cute. never a dull moment with seventeen.

it's about 6pm when everyone is wrapping up to leave and u see jiwoo come in the room. she talks to a few staff and comes towards you.

"ready to leave?"

"yeah just let me check if I forgot something" you say as u turn towards the green room area. as you're about to walk you see vernon outside seventeen's room on the phone with someone. now you have 2 options, face vernon while going to your room Or just hope that you've left nothing behind.

"yeah let's go I don't think I'll leave something"

synopsis - you get invited to your first MAMA awards after debuting as a soloist. a dream come true for u. your fans are ecstatic but they can't help but notice how this one idol keeps stealing glances at u......and you can't ignore it either.

pairing — vernon x gn!reader

genre/s — smau, idol au, fluff, minor angst

warnings — a lot of cursing

previous | masterlist | next

note — giggling🤭 sorry for the late post I wanted to post the interview part on my birthday 😭😭 we grow older with simp hansol💯

also um english isn't my first language so forgive me if there's any mistakes just pretend I wrote this correctly. I'm going to try to keep this series mainly smaus but I feel like I needed to write this part out to express the interview moments a bit better 🫶

taglist :

@spilled-coffee-cup @atinytinaa @matchahyuck @wonwoos-wineparty @kawennote09 @weird-bookworm @idkwwhatimmdoiing

@maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr @thehao8 @blurryriki @atinytinaa @delicatewinterenthusiast @stqrrgirle @cloelinnnnn @sp1ng @venusprada @hellohannie @ahuihoeeee

@ddokye

@jeonghansshitester @cienlvrs @vernyangel

@thefroggybazaar

[silviakundera]

The Princess Royal ep 35 comments

So the writers made a signifucant change here, with having a traumatized, pregnant Li Rong decide to hide the revelation of the past from Pei Wenxuan instead of just having a complete breakdown in his arms.

The adaption has actually been overall shockingly novel complaint (it may be streamlined and less able to communicate complex character dynamics but on the whole the major events all track and tons of dialogue is lifted from the novel)... so I find myself curious about the few big deviations.

Why do I think they made this choice?

Suspense: the desire to create a conflict & tension btw our leads, because by this period in the story they are so on sync and united in purpose that I think the screenwriter is worried that it's too bland (if we recall The Double, some viewers felt a certain malaise with that couple at the end because they just supported each other w no conflict & drama).

No sex : in the novel they fuck about it; not gonna happen here. With all that stripped away, all of the emotional conflicts & resulting catharsis are happening between other characters in the last chapters. So what to do?

Mirrored behavior: I think perhaps we are intended to see a comparison in how SRQ didn't want to tell LR this secret out of protection for her mental health. He would rather be the villian to her who killed her for a blood feud, than see her face the truth. He originally wanted to "fix everything" without her having to know. SRQ is LR's foil. So I can see how perhaps drama writers thought it would be a plausible reaction for LR hide this from PWX and try to "fix it" behind his back, so his hands are clean and HE didn't betray the crown prince. In the drama as she is doing this, her voice over literally thinks that the only person she can trust is PWX. She just wants to keep him out of it. And then says some stuff in temporary anger when they fight about it.

So how do I feel about the change? While I do prefer the novel version, I guess I can agree it's a plausible scenario in the drama - because the drama's streamlining has reduced the emphasis on LR and SRQ standing on opposite sides politically. In the novel, frankly I do not see her joining w SRQ's camp for even 10 minutes. It just wouldn't happen. At this point, sure she knows he means well but they fundamentally disagree on what is the right path for the country. Even a panicking & broken novel!LR wouldn't be tempted to let a puppet Li Cheng take the throne.

But if I keep an open mind, I can see how in the live action version this might seem like a plausible stop-gap measure for LR and then she thinks she can recover and course correct after. I don't agree with the writing choice but I don't HATE it.

I'll be honest - It's hard for me to judge her too harshly for her immediate reactions in either novel or drama because her lament is just TOO SAD. I know she's far from a perfect person, but it really hurts my heart.

novel snippets of her soliloquy:

"Li Rong, let yourself go."

These words were like a heavy hammer hitting Li Rong, shattering her heart abruptly. She wanted to fight back, to retort, but in the end, it only became a rhetorical question, "If I let myself go, who will let me go?"

"No one has spared me!"

When these words came out, she could no longer restrain the pain she had been trying so hard to contain, "Everyone is using me, Chuan'er doesn't believe me and killed me, Shangguan Ya and Su Rongqing watched me die. Pei Wenxuan," Li Rong grabbed Pei Wenxuan's sleeve as she stared at him with tearful eyes, "how do you want me to let myself go?"

"No one believes me, you all think I'm bad, that I'm selfish, that I'm power-hungry, that I'm unscrupulous, that I won't think of any of you."

"So Li Chuan wants to kill me, Shangguan Ya wants me dead, Su Rongqing watches me drink the poison and says nothing, and even you," Li Rong tugged at his shirt with a deadly grip, "do you also think that I'm pushing you now? That I'm slandering your feelings, that I'm suffering so I'm making you suffer too?"

Pei Wenxuan froze, Li Rong lowered her head, she restrained herself, she tried to calm herself down a little.

She had hurt too many people, everyone had abandoned her, she wanted to be kinder to Pei Wenxuan, she shouldn't have indulged herself.

"I didn't."

She sounded dumb, "I just want to, to be nice to you. I want to be nice to everyone, but I can't do anything right."

"I don't talk well, I'm too dictatorial, I'm like a hedgehog, and anyone who sees me thinks I'm bad. I can't even, when I try to like you, do it well."

"I've done so much for Chuan'er," she said as tears poured down her eyes, "but he still doesn't believe me."

"I fought like that for a' Ya and Chuan'er, and a'Ya still gave up on me for the slightest risk."

"I'd gone to so much trouble to keep Su Rongqing, but I still can't live in his heart, he hasn't even given me a little trust."

"I'm not forcing you, I really just want to be good to you, I don't know what to do, I just want you to not suffer a little in front of me. But I still can't do it right."

"I'm sorry ......" she tilted her head to look at him and said it over and over again, "I'm sorry ......"

Pei Wenxuan did not say anything, he looked at Li Rong in front of him, she no longer had any semblance of decorum to speak of. The most wretched thing in life, he's afraid, is her now. Even when he met her in prison, she was fully clothed and tied up, her posture was calm.

*

"...That was the last life, I can ignore it, but just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't care."

"One has to hold the power to have a choice. And when you gain power, it shouldn't be mixed with feelings. I used to talk about liking power, but in fact when I made decisions, I always put a lot more trust in them and was willing to fight for them. So when I came up, I always thought of helping Chuan'er, solving his present problems for him, his future problems."

"My mother scolded me, saying that I was thinking all these things. That the emperor thought of me as a princess, and that in the eyes of the future emperor, I was no different in nature from the noble lineage. I thought she was silly at the time, but now I realise that it was me who was silly."

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think what's truly horrible, what traumatizes her so deeply, is that this was a long process. LR and PWX remember her descent into chronic illness! How she wasted away as PWX brought her doctors to try to save her. Her brother didn't kill her in 1 momentary act of rage & paranoia. He decided over and over again that she must die and he killed her THROUGH THE GAMES THEY PLAYED TOGETHER. Poisoning the weiqi pieces. All of what she thought were private family moments were the tools of her slow murder.

While the confrontation scene she has together w Li Chuan in the novel was sincerely beautiful and literally made me cry... I SO GET her initial repulsion and urge to walk away.

[side note: I can empathize on 1 thing with SRQ - feeling he had no choice but to watch this cruel betrayal and hating himself & hating Li Chuan more and more as he watches what's happening to her... no wonder, considering what also happened to his family, he thinks of Li Chuan as a monster who must be stopped. Like, I'm not in his side at all because the nobles are fucked. But I do think his beliefs about Li Chuan are like the most normal thing about him. I also see why SRQ hates himself (cause he should) - and why he is increasingly distressed as he sees Li Rong prove in this life how little he understood her and much he underestimated her inner goodness & also her bond with PWX. All the reasons he thought he couldn't risk saving her in the 1st life were wrong. So of course this only makes him hate & resent LC more.]

[hazeracha]

• // ep. 171 // •

pairing // chan x reader

warning // smut, that's really it tbh and a little bit of fluff

wc: 3.9k

A/N this is my first time writing smut so I hope it was okay, let me know what you think please.... I also tried a new layout I although it's not really that different. But it might looked a little messed up on different devices so I’m sorry about that, I don’t know how to fix it and it’s stressing me out.

You missed Chan, you had only been apart for a few days but you missed him. You missed all the boys actually. They were such a big part of your life and when they weren’t there you felt lonely.

You haven’t gone home since Chan left and you have tidied the dorm from top to bottom multiple times to keep your mind occupied. For some reason, you miss him more than usual and you're not sure why? Probably because the last time you saw him your time together was interrupted, and you haven't been able to fulfil your needs as Chan has been so busy. You grabbed something to eat and sat on Chan’s bed turning on the TV. You sent him a message a little while ago and he still hasn’t replied. Just as you turned on the TV you got a notification telling you Chan was going live. Quickly clicking on the notification you put his live on the TV and sat back getting ready to watch.

*. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. *

As soon as the live ended you clicked on Chan’s contact and waited for his face to appear on screen. He was sitting at the desk he filmed his live and you could see Lee Know sitting in the background on the bed with one of their managers. 

“Hey, you okay? You should be asleep it’s late back home” he asked immediately as he tilted his head in concern. 

“Yeah I'm fine, I was just getting some food and then you started your live” you replied as you got yourself more comfortable and pulled the covers over yourself.

“Oh- you watched the live” he laughed as he covered his face but you could still see the tips of his ears changing colour. 

“Of course I did, I miss you. Plus I probably won't be able to get sleep for another couple of hours” you said as Chan took a bite of his food. 

“Why, what’s wrong? Do you-” his sentence was interrupted by their manager's voice “We’ll get going and give you two some time alone” the manager said pulling Lee Know up off the bed.

“No, it’s okay at least finish eating your food before you leave. I just wanted to speak to Chan before I went to bed”

“I was finished anyways plus I need to go and speak with the rest of the boys about the schedule tomorrow. It was nice seeing you again Y/N I'll bring the boys back safely” their manager said as he exited the room. 

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” Chan asked leaning in closer to the phone. The truth is you were having trouble sleeping but it’s probably not the reason Chan is thinking of. Knowing him he’s thinking of the worst, but your just horny and can’t stop thinking about him.

“I was really sleepy before I started watching your live, but someone woke me up because they were being so loud. YA! Lee Minho get over here” you joked to put Chan’s mind at ease before it went into overdrive. 

“Oh she used your full name your in trouble” Chan laughed as Lee Know got off the bed and crouched down beside Chan so he could be seen on the camera. 

“What? Why am I in trouble” he looked at the camera with wide eyes. 

“Why are you so loud, was it really necessary to shout about spoons” Chan was hysterically laughing at this point and Lee Know’s facial expression softened as he realised you were joking and laughed along with Chan. Out of everyone, you were probably the only person Lee Know was scared of, and you're not sure why? You’re probably the least intimidating person ever. You think it’s because he knows how much you mean to Chan and is scared that if he messes up something with you, then his relationship with Chan will also suffer. 

“You scared me I thought you were being serious” he put a hand over his heart and took a deep breath before going back to the bed standing at the edge and throwing himself on top of it.

“Sorry, I still don’t know why you boys find me so scary” Lee Know looked up from the bed before replying.

“It’s not you were scared of. Its Chan” 

You laughed at his response before putting your full focus on your boyfriend who was watching you and his friend interact with the biggest smile on his face. 

“Anyways, how are you baby?” you asked. 

“I’m good, I just can’t wait to get home and see you” As Chan was speaking you could only focus on one thing. His lips, his full, soft, and kissable lips, and the way he bit on them every now and again before thinking of his next word. 

It was getting hot, very hot. You placed the phone down and took off the jumper you were wearing. Chan’s jumper, of course. You threw it to the end of the bed before picking up the phone. 

“The performance went well and we- baby. What are you doing!” Chan quickly picked up the phone pulling it closer to himself and away from Lee Know’s view. 

“What do you mean I was just taking off my jumper. It’s too warm”

“Oh- right okay. I just saw a piece of clothing go flying across the room and I panicked. Sorry. Also my jumper, not yours” It was always so easy to fluster Chan, it was one of your favourite things to do. 

“Wow, what ever happened to what’s mine is yours and yours is mine huh?” You laughed. 

“You know I'm only joking” Chan quickly replied.

You and Chan spoke for about another half an hour before your eyes started to get heavy and you could feel yourself falling asleep. “Well. I think I'm going to leave you now. I’m getting a little tired”

“Okay, I’ll phone you tomorrow before we board the plane” Chan explained. “Okay, baby. Enjoy the rest of your little date with Lee Know”

“Oh don't worry Y/N, I’ll make sure he enjoys” Lee Know spoke up pulling a few sexy poses and kicking his feet as he lay on the bed. Chan stood up from the chair and approached the boy turning the camera around so you could see him. 

“Wow, very sexy. Chan promise me you won’t leave me for him”

“I don’t know you might have some competition, I’m a little-”

“Stop your sentence right there. Do not continue. I don’t want to hear about how you feel without Y/N and your ‘needs’ again” Lee know interrupted.

“Again?” You questioned

“Yeah he was telling us all about how much he-”

“Okay, that’s enough talking, I’ll phone you tomorrow. I love you, sleep well” Chan rushed out his sentence 

“I love you too” After your response the call quickly ended but not before you heard a loud slapping sound, you can only imagine where Chan hit the poor boy.

Calls with the boys were never boring and always left you in a good mood and you couldn’t wait for them to come home. Before going to bed you decided to message Chan and Lee know to get more information on the conversation you were rudely interrupted from having.

Lee know 🙄🐰

Me: when you get home your telling me everything Chan said

Me: Also how does it feel as the butt hunter to be on the opposing end???

 Lee Know🙄🐰: I'm telling Chan your bullying me 😐

Me: your unbelievable 🙄

Just as you replied to Lee Know’s text a notification popped up from Chan. 

Channie 🖤

Channie 🖤: Please leave the poor boy alone

Channie 🖤: Also look at this.... 

Channie 🖤: image

Channie 🖤: image

*. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *

Today was the day Chan and the rest of the boys were coming home from LA, there flight landed early morning in Korea so you decided to get up early and get the boys some food and snacks before they arrived home. 

You got changed into a pair of black jeans and stole Hyunjin's Celine hoodie with the chequered writing, you tied your hair up in a low pony and made your way to the local convenience store down the street. You filled two bags with snacks and drinks for the boys before heading to their favourite restaurant in the area. You were greeted by the young boy who was standing behind the counter as soon as you entered.

“Hello, what can I do for you today” he smiled as you walked towards him. 

“I would like to place an order for takeaway” I said. 

“Oh yeah, what can I get for you? The young boy asked grabbing a pen and notepad. 

“It’s a very large order I hope your prepared” you joked as the young boy laughed. You started to list off all the items you wanted as the boy furiously wrote down everything you said.

“You weren’t kidding when you said it was a large order, I’ll go put this through in the kitchen. But it might be a little while before it’s ready” he explained. 

“Yeah of course that’s fine” you replied taking a seat beside one of the large windows that decorated the front of the restaurant. 

“That better not all be for you” the same boy said as he walked towards your table in the corner placing a can of coke in front of you, you looked at him with a confused expression before he replied. 

“I’ve seen you here a few times and you always order this to drink. It’s on the house since you’ll be waiting here for a while”

“Oh thank you” you smiled as you opened the can and took a drink, you were quite thirsty due to the warm weather today so the drink was very refreshing.

“Are you having a party or something?” The boy asked. 

“You sure do ask a lot of questions, shouldn’t you be getting back to work” you laughed. 

“No, I’m on my break just now actually but I’ll leave you alone, I’m sorry” he politely said as he stood up and bowed towards you apologising for his actions.

“No, no it’s okay I was only joking. My boyfriend and his friends are coming back from a trip so I thought getting them some snacks and a nice meal would help cheer them up a bit after spending so long travelling” you explained. 

“There really lucky to have someone whose cares so much about them, I’m sure they will really enjoy it”

You and the young boy continued to talk until your food was ready and his short break was over, you said your goodbyes and exited the restaurant. The walk home was quiet but your arms were getting tired and you couldn’t help but think you bought too much food, but you knew either way the boys would appreciate and make their best efforts to finish the food you had got them.

As you entered the dorm your phone buzzed, quickly placing the food on the kitchen counter you pulled out your phone to see a message from Chan telling you that there plane had landed and you would be making their way back to the dorm. You quickly replied to the message telling him to bring all the boys to their dorm as you had a surprise for them.

You waited for about forty minutes before you heard the jingle of keys at the front door. Rushing off the couch you were sitting on, the door flew open and your were engulfed in a hug by Chan. You both swayed from side to side as the rest of the boys brought in their bags and suitcases.

“How are you?” Chan asked as he pulled away from the hug and looked into your eyes. 

“I’m good, I missed you” you replied as you gave him a kiss, “come look in the kitchen I have a surprise for you. Boys come here!” you shouted as everyone followed you into the kitchen. There were multiple screams of excitement as they all saw the food lying on the counter. 

“Ahhh I’m so hungry, thank you Noona” Changbin exclaimed as he rushed to open the boxes and pile multiple different foods onto his plate. Soon all the boys followed, Chan stood behind you with his hands wrapped around your waist before leaning down and whispering in your ear. 

“We’re all so lucky to have you, you know that?”

“Of course I do, you all tell me all the time, how can I possible forget. Now hurry up and go get some food before it’s all gone” you ushered him away as the boys began to sit down in the living room.

You were sitting on the couch with Hyunjin and Jeongin beside you sitting on either side. Everyone sat in silence and ate their food and it was times like these that you spent together that were your favourite. Moments where no words were spoken just the comfort of knowing you were all there for each other and enjoyed spending time together. Although these moments never usually lasted long as the silence was broken by a loud voice from beside you.

“Yaaa! Y/N is that my jumper your wearing?” Hyunjin screamed in your ear causing you and a few of the boys to jump due to his loud voice.

“Did you really have to shout that. You could have just asked like a normal person" you laughed. 

"We all know Hyunjin isn't normal, so that's impossible for him" Jeongin chimed in from beside you.

"Come here you little..." Hyunjin reached over you to ruffle the younger boys hair. 

"Ya! Hyunjin. Leave him alone" you said trying to move Hyunjin who was now fully lying across you to mess with Jeongin. "Just for that how about you go and do the dishes and clean the kitchen"

Hyunjin's movements immediately stopped as he looked at you with large eyes and a pout on his lips. 

"On you go, hurry up" you pushed him off the couch giving his butt a few taps as he stood up. All the boys began to laugh holding out their plates for Hyunjin to come and collect. As he reached down to collect Jeongin's he stuck his tongue out like a little kid trying to annoy his younger sibling.

"Thanks for the food Noona. I’m ready to go to sleep now” he laughed as he lay his head back on the couch closing his eyes. 

“Aww, is baby bread tired after eating his meal” you joked as he opened his eyes to look at you. 

“Shut up” he said lightly punching your shoulder. 

“Come here” you placed your arm around his shoulder pulling him closer letting his head rest on your chest, he curled his legs up so he was lying on the sofa using your body to hold himself up. You placed a kiss on top of his head as he snuggled in closer to you wrapping both his arms around your waist and closing his eyes. 

“How come he gets to cuddle and I don’t?” Chan’s voice could be heard from the other couch. 

“You'll get some later don’t worry” you replied flashing a smile and sending a wink in his direction. You watched as his face turned red as he avoided eye contact and continued his conversation with Felix and Changbin. 

“I’m so glad I don’t share a dorm with Chan Hyung when your staying over” Jeongin mumbled against your chest. 

After watching a movie together, Lee Know, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin all went back to their dorm whilst the rest of you stayed in the living room just talking and catching up for another few hours.

”I think I'm going to call it a night and go to bed” Hyunjin announced as he stood up and went to his room, a few minutes later Changbin and Han followed. 

“Are we gonna call it a night as well?” You asked looking up at Chan from where you lay on his lap. 

“Yeah I think we should, I’m pretty tired.” You both stood up from the couch and made your way towards Chan’s room. 

“I can’t wait to spend the next few days with you” Chan said as he sat on the edge of his bed opening his arms to let you sit on his lap. 

“I know neither can I, but do you want to talk about it, it’s a big thing and your being pretty relaxed about it. If I were you I would be freaking out right now.”

“I don’t think it’s quite hit me that I'm going for surgery in a couple days, so how about you ask me tomorrow and maybe it will have set in” he joked.

“Okay, I'll ask you tomorrow” you ran your hand through his hair letting your hand rest at the back of neck. You pulled him closer and placed a kiss on his lips before pulling away. “So do you have that outfit from LA in your bag?”

“No I don’t sadly, but I don’t see the point if you would have been taking it off me the second you saw me in it” he teased as he flipped you over so you were now laying on your back and he was between your legs. 

He began placing kisses along your neck pulling down the jumper to expose your collar bones, he trailed his hands from your waist and started to lift the jumper up, 

“I’m not sure Hyunjin would like it if his jumper got dirty, would he?” Chan smirked as you sat up helping him pull the item of clothing off. 

Chan started to loosen the strings of his joggies just enough to pull them off as you repositioned yourself a little further up the bed, he ran his hands along your thighs as he crawled on top of you once again and began to unbutton your jeans. 

“I missed you so much, I really wish you were coming to Australia with me. My family miss you so much” 

“I know, if I could get the time of work I would but we have a big project that needs to be finished so I can’t afford to take the time off” You explained as you helped Chan pull of your jeans. 

He sat back to look at you lying on his bed in just your underwear and you swear you could see stars in his eyes. Every time he looked at you it was as if you held the whole world in your hands and you were the most precious thing to ever exist.

 “I can’t believe were about to have sex and you still manage to talk about work”

Chan laughed and began to pull his shirt off and throwing it into the pile of clothes that were now on his floor. 

“I know, I’m sorry” Chan reached into his bedside table taking out and condom and ripping the packet open before taking off his boxers and rolling it onto his dick. You were on the pill but you and Chan always wanted to be safe as the pill wasn’t always effective. If there was something Chan was very serious about it was this. He always wanted to make sure that there were no surprises and that if you were to become pregnant it was planned and he was one hundred percent prepared, and with how busy his life was right now that wasn’t possible. 

“You okay, just tell me if you want to stop” He asked placing a kiss on your shoulder and moving a few strands of hair away from your face. You nodded and pulled Chan closer attaching your lips to his.

“No, let me hear you say it” 

“I’m okay, I can assure you once you start I’m not going to want you to stop after being interrupted last time. I’ve been waiting for this for too long.”

Chan moved your underwear to the side and slowly slid into you, he stilled his actions waiting for you to speak.

“You can move” 

He nodded and started to slowly roll his hips into you. He started slow before his movements got faster, he continued to kiss you neck leaving a few marks on your collar bones. He held your waist tight pushing you down into the bed to stop you from moving. As his movements got faster you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer and stop him from thrusting into you. 

“Stop, if you keep moving like that I'm not going to be able to stay quiet” You said as you tried to catch your breath letting your head fall back deeper into the pillows. Chan continued his movements as you let your hands run along his back. He kissed your lips once again only this time he let his tongue enter your mouth. 

“This should keep you quiet”

You moaned into his mouth as his movements became faster once again and he cupped your breast with one hand. 

“I’m close” you spoke breaking away from the kiss and moaning one last time before clenching around him and letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 

Chan slowed down and continued thrusting into you before his face screwed up and his head dropped into the crook of your neck 

“Fuck” he breathed heavily as he finished and pulled out of you. 

“See we don’t need a stupid outfit to have a good time”

“We might not need it but I definitely would have finished faster if you did” You joked as he pulled a couple of tissues out of the box sitting on the desk to help you clean up .

“What! Was that not enough for you, miss ‘I'm not going to be able to keep quiet if you keep moving like that’ he mimicked your voice as he tied of the condom throwing it in the bin. 

“Shut up, you know I’m only joking”

Chan picked up his t shirt from the floor and threw it at your face before climbing into bed beside you waiting for you to put the t shirt on and cuddle into him. 

“Just so you know if the boys weren’t home I would have made you beg me to stop, regardless of what I was wearing” 

“Just go to sleep Chan” You said as you lay your head on his chest and started to trace small shapes along his stomach. 

“Your only mad because you know I'm right” he laughed, “I love you baby” he continued after kissing the top of your head. 

“I love you too Channie” 

© byeguyshiladies04 2023

[dangermousie]

Finished.

God, what a glorious, glorious, glorious ride, a truly solid epic drama in a way I haven't seen in a very long time - there were two other flawless cdramas for me this year - Lost You Forever 1 and The Ingenuous One - but TIO was a smaller scale story and LYF ended in medias res. AJTL was the only complete, epic cdrama this year for me, but oh boy, was it beyond.

First, my two tiny niggles - this is a drama where the 40 episode limit fit badly, like tightly pinching shoes. You can tell how they had to speed and cram to get in the resolutions of dynastic struggles in An and Wu and the war with Beipan. This drama really needed to have been 50 eps. (The cramming also resulted in the sole plot arc that made me go huh - LTG random decision to try to marry Ruyi before he rides off to what he thinks is his last battle and his just as random decision to go "oh well" and agree to release NYZ and then when NYZ shows up before he can be released because he broke out and wreaks havoc, let them walk out. Maybe if they had more time, it would have made more sense, otherwise it felt like an aberration in a character arc that before and after was consistent and made sense.) Second niggle is not really one because it's clearly due to censorship - the last minute redemption of the Wu emperor etc - the writer made is as believable as she could but you could feel the censorship sticky hands all over it.

But those are minor complaints. Overall this was solid from beginning to end, very adult and with secondary characters who all felt real and complex and interesting. A few thoughts:

Our main OTP was incredible. So adult, so competent, so badass but still feeling human. I bought that those two were larger than life legends AND flesh and blood people. And that chemistry!

I loved that this drama allowed relationships to be messy. Yes, we have our epic main couple but I especially loved what happened with Chu Yue and Shisan and LTG and Ying. I loved that neither was an epic romance. With CY and Shisan, I loved that they didn't make him realize he loves her forever blah blah - he was an incredibly consistent character - charming, loyal and utterly clear he's incapable of permanent commitment to a single woman and she never could change that. And yet he died in large part to protect her, and it's in keeping with his character and it makes sense that this solidified her remembering him forever - he's not just the one who got away, but he DIED for her. It's very clear if they both lived, this would have gone nowhere and ended with him wandering off or her moving on wanting commitment from someone who is capable of it, but as it is, it froze the possibility of love in ember.

And I loved the narrative of LTG and Ying. They both come into marriage in love with someone they can never have (Ruyi and YL), they both have similar backgrounds (royals but neglected and looked down upon), they both share the same goals (power but to take care of people) and they really are friends. I love that when we last see them, they have what is a great period marriage - no love but respect and common goals. And she still mourns YL and he probably still thinks of Ruyi but the thing is, I love that the narrative leaves the possibility of them eventually falling in love with each other (or other people) because as she tells him - you think you will always love a particular person but life is long. (And it's so true - she will remember YL until she's old, once again in part because of the unfulfilled possibility of it - but it doesn't mean she won't be able to open her heart to someone again.) It's a surprisingly hopeful ending for them and I love it. I'd totally watch a show where they discover love with each other tbh.

I did love that no character (except possibly Prince Danyang) got everything they wanted even if they emerged alive. They got some and had to give up some.

I loved what it had to say about having to be worthy of your power and position - you are not owed fealty by birth but you have to earn it. It was a surprisingly anti-imperial show for a recent cdrama.

All the deaths of our faves gutted me, none as much as Yuan Lu's. Oooof.

As to the ending, I can tell people are gonna have fits but I like it. I love many an ending legendarily reviled in cdrama fandom (Princess Agents and Novoland Eagle Flag have perfect endings in my opinion; I realize that opinion, especially about PA is enough to get me throttled in certain quarters but it is what it is) and I came to cdramas back when pretty much every costume cdrama ended horrifically tragically - think of the endings of the Chinese Paladins, The Myth (for a long time my n1 drama even though it made me cry so hard I threw up, ending-wise), The Young Warriors, Little Fairy, even Lan Ling Wang, Glory of the Tang Dynasty and Bu Bu Jing Xin if we are going somewhat later. I mean, one of my favorite dramas ever is Royal Nirvana and that ending is like drinking a thermos full of depression. This is nothing.

Honestly, I would have been fine if the ending for our OTP really was them dying pretty much together, in their different battles. That hint that they are alive and living with their kids is lovely and welcome, but I'd have been fine without it and it raises a lot of questions (though if anyone could fake their deaths and survive that sort of thing, it would have been them so fair enough.)

Anyway, this is basically my love letter to this drama. It was amazing and I am so glad I watched it.

[phxntomhives]

About the reaction of Gregory in the latest Kuro ep

Here are some theories about his scream and his reaction at the fire. I love that they don't have much background info so we can just say whatever we want. It's not like anyone can tell me I'm wrong ✨ so here is some angst xoxo

I genuinely hope not one of these is true

1) His house burned down

I mean it still happens today, accident happens. So yeah, his house could have burned down. It doesn't matter your age, that would be traumatizing. On top of that, if a fire suddenly spread out, it is possible that some people may have not survived, adding more fear of fire. Anyone, from the servants to his family could have died in a similar accident, maybe he himself barely survived. Of course he wouldn't want anyone to get close to that hell, and will react badly if they try to do it. And you won't really stop to elaborate, especially if you see possibly seeing flashbacks of the scenes you already saw once.

He feels hopeless while staring at the fire and I wouldn't be surprised to see a tiny Gregory looking at the same scene and just be normally scared, a fear that will remain with him for life. It's the other prefects that somehow snap him back to reality, hopefully freeing him from the bad memories.

2) alternative: a friend's house burned down

Basically the same as before, but his house is lucky enough to not be the victim here. Just like Lizzie saw the Phantomhive manor burning down, he could have seen the house of a friend being devoured by the flames. And unlike the previous version... There is no guarantee there was a survivor. In the worst case scenario, he may have seen the people inside being able to run out of the building, but with high degree burns so extended and dangerous that they weren't able to survive. Maybe he had to see his friend/relative/fiancé come out screaming in pain, burned to the point of being unrecognizable, and later watch them die before his eyes without being able to help. And he just doesn't want to go through all of that again. He isn't letting anyone of them go any closer to the fire and put their life at risk.

3) Lost works

He is an artist. He made 4 different sketches (ok one was the labyrinth game BUT STILL) completely different one from each other, in something like 10 minutes? If that's is his average time to create a piece of art, just how many has he made in the years he has been living there? Thousands probably? Some may be silly or stuff that he doesn't like and he was just waiting to throw away, but others may be drawings he cared about, in which he put all of himself. Hell, maybe there are paintings that took him MONTHS or YEARS to make. And they are all vanishing in a single night. All the effort he puts in them, all the memories he saved as a picture, gone. Turned into ashes without him being able to do anything. Everything he has ever worked on burning in front of his eyes. He can't retrieve anything of those and is likely mourning them already. When the other students want to enter he wonders if they will put themselves in danger to maybe retrieve them. I think Edward trying to enter in particular triggered him, maybe the other students don't know him a lot but Edward has been with him for a while now, since he was Herman's fag/drudge. He can't NOT have noticed that Violet spend his time drawing and maybe he even saw some pieces that Violet was proud of. So he knows that the moment Edward steps in the building, he is likely to try to save anything that he can carry out, because it is important to someone out there. But getting any of those works may put him in danger. And therefore, Violet is scared. He is scared there can be other knightly heroes among the students, that will put themselves in danger to retrieve anything they can still save. "I can remake a drawing, but I can't bring you all back to life." and so he tries to stop them. He tries to do it as an introvert that is having a very bad internal crisis and mourning. But he tries, because while he cares of his art, he can't put it above other's people lives.

4) There are nudes

Hopefully I made you laugh with the title. What I mean is: it's their dorm, they have likely decorated it in the best way to suit their taste and expose themselves in the most true way they can. It's their place and they can be themselves in there. But they are aware they are considered the "weirdos" of the school. Some probably don't care but some may have decided to be truly themselves only inside the comfort of the house. This could also be true for Violet himself. So not only you are watching your home burning down, but now the same strangers that made fun of you, made you feel badly about themselves, want to enter? And potentially learn more secrets about the poeple that lived there? What they cherished and didn't want to share because they didn't feel comfortable to show? It would all be there in plain sight for anyone to see. And so Violet screams at them to not enter. The house can burn down for all he care, but he will let the precious secrets burn down with it so that none of them will have to risk their reputation at school (and later outside) because of him.

[pepperf]

Hiiii :)

I'm currently writing a fic about Diego but I keep feeling like I have to restart from s1 because I forgot how to characterize him (if that makes any sense??) Do you have any scenes that you rely on to characterize him from s1, 2, and 3? (so that I don't have to watch all 30 episodes again lol). I have to get it done by the end of this month and I'm nervous that I won't be able to pull it off. I don't think I'm going to rewatch any scenes from s4 though because although I feel like they got his character right, Lila's character definitely wasn't right and that messes the whole system up lol.

Thanks so much for your input!

Hello! Sorry, I saw this at the wrong point, and then promptly forgot it was in my inbox, lol. I hope you're still writing!

So, yeah, in terms of scenes I go back to: that often depends on the emotion I'm trying to track, or the particular relationship. But in terms of ones where I feel like he's really got some screen time that's worth watching:

Season 1:

Ep 1: the funeral scene/fight with Luther. Bitter but righteously angry Diego at his finest (with the sweet little twist of his concern for Grace at the end).

Ep 3 (Extra Ordinary): the flashback to Grace helping him with his stammer as a child, and then the two scenes with her as an adult - with Diego trying to persuade her to leave, and then finally switching her off (a heartbreaking little sequence!).

Ep 4 (Man on the Moon): The conversation with Luther in the library, before they find Five - Diego connecting with his brother and trying to break through Luther's blind faith in Reggie.

Ep 8 (I Heard A Rumor): The little scene with Beaman - example of how good Diego is at making friends, despite his prickly exterior, and Beaman sees the good in him that he saw in Eudora.

Season 2 (aka the best Diego season):

Ep 1: Him (and Lila!) in the asylum, talking to Dr Moncton, doing arts and crafts, and his conversation/confrontation with Five. And then his escape with Lila - man, this is SUCH a good Diego ep.

Ep 2 (The Frankel Footage): His plan to chop off Oswald's finger, lol, him and Five arguing about whether Reggie is up to something, and his lovely little reassurance of Lila in the darkroom. And then him and Five breaking into Reggie's place and talking about their dad some more, and his fight with Reggie and ultimate inability to kill the mf.

Ep 3 (The Swedish Job): Him and Lila talking about her parents, and...all the rest of that scene. <3

Ep 4 (The Majestic 12): Him and Lila being domestic and cosy in the morning, their dance at the consulate, his conversation with rl Grace (his sheer horror at the thought of Reggie and Grace dating, lol!), the fight with the Swedes.

Ep 5 (Valhalla): Diego's confrontation with Lila. His easy forgiveness of Vanya, and attempt to tell his family about his girl troubles. His "Everyone changes the world" speech.

Ep 6 (A Light Supper): His gleeful little "Team Zero" plan. Being destroyed by Reggie.

Ep 7 (Oga for Oga): Him and Luther phoning poor Olga. Him hugging Ben/Klaus. Taking the time to bury Elliott, and falling for Lila's transparent plot.

Ep 8 (The Seven Stages): Meeting the mother-in-law (instant enemy). Meeting Herb (instant friend). Being the only one to greet Ray like a normal person.

Ep 9 (743): Desperately trying, and failing, to save JFK.

Ep 10 (The End of Something): Him and Five confronting the Handler and Lila, and then saving one another from the Commission army. Talking Lila around, and stopping Luther from stopping her. His brief little moment with Vanya at the end, as they deal with leaving/getting left by their loved one.

I'm gonna come back to s3 bc I have an evening to live, lol. Hope this is helpful!