#I woke up to a notification on ig that it had been posted and what a way to wake up

[sexynetra]

Sasha commenting on Anetra’s pic in 5 mins mmhm…

This bitch got post notifications on… brb making a summoning circle to manifest a sashnetra soft launch

[stonesylove]

Summary: Alessandra and Tom met on a casual night out in Berlin while he's filming the prequel of the hunger games, both of them are down for a little three month affair but what if they want a little bit more.

social media au

A night out in Berlin pt.2

Our first conversation

Chapter 1 - Chapter 3

Alessandra woke up and as normal 22 year old, took her phone to check her social media after one of the best nights out she ever had, she remembered some parts of the night but the others felt like a distant memory; she opened up Instagram to see and she had a new verified follower, someone called “Tom Blyth” she knew a lot of Tom’s but not a single one was famous so when Alessandra touch his profile pic and went to his profile she got hit whit the memory of the tall man with a buzz cut, she couldn’t believe that she fooled around with an actor in a random club in a night out.

“GIULIANA COME HERE” she screamed calling her best friend to tell her the crazy news, Giuliana and Alessandra have been best friend since they were 3 years old, they met in a little ballet academy in Naples, both have dreamed of dancing around the world and they ended up living together in Berlin and dancing for Staatsballett; Alessandra heard the steps coming closer and then she saw her door being open by her friend.

“Girl it’s 8 am, stop screaming” Giuliana said, “shut up and listen to me, remember last night when I got lost from you guys?” Alessandra asked thrilled to tell the whole story, her friend nodded so she can continue with the story, “Well I ended up dancing and making out with this cute tall man and I guess at some point I had to tell him my ig because now he’s following me” she said.

“I don’t see what’s the issue here” Giuliana said with a confused look, “HES A FUCKING BRITISH ACTOR” Alessandra screamed excited while her best friend was in completely shock, “you need to post a thirst trap right now” Giuli said with a playful look in her face, “I’m going to follow him up first and maybe I’ll post it later, I don’t know this is fucking wild” Alessandra said while opening up Instagram again to follow Tom.

Alessandra kept her day going without stressing too much about the topic, she knew he must be busy working on Germany or maybe he’s traveling with some friends so she wouldn’t want to distract him with a text but maybe it was a good idea to post a little selfie on her stories just to taste the waters.

Alessandra Di Maggio posted a story

Alessandra was walking with her friends to her class while she posted a pic she took some days ago that she felt would be cute enough to draw his attention, she felt like a little girl waiting for her crush to give her some attention and that made her feel so stupid because Alessandra knew that an actor would never lay his eyes on her and all that happened was just a drunken mistake, she locked her phone deciding she wouldn’t check Instagram for the day, Alessandra just didn’t want to get all in her head and get distracted during what’s really important.

The class was a success, she felt tired but at the same time she knew she had to be the best to get to the point she wants to be; Alessandra picked up her belongings and the walked out of the door waiting for her best friend to catch her up.

“So, have you checked Instagram? Did he even liked the story? Did he answered?” Giuliana said while catching Alessandra outside of the dance studio, “I literally posted and blocked my phone, I haven’t check it out” she said while trying to sound uninterested, “WELL DO IT BITCH“ her friend said while rising her voice. Alessandra took her phone out of her bag, she saw that she had a couple notifications but nothing special so she opened up Instagram to see that he liked her story and he sent a message.

Tom Blyth sent you a message 

Tom Blyth

Good morning Alessa with 4 s

Alessandra couldn’t believe that he send her a message, it was crazy for her because they were a little too drunk and she thought he wouldn’t remember her and also the way she screamed her Instagram handle, “Giuli he messaged me” Alessandra said a little bit shocked because she thought it meant nothing for him, “REPLY RIGHT NOW” Giuliana screamed.

Alessandra Di Maggio

hi Tom boy, thought you forgot about me

She send the message and block her phone again, Alessandra couldn’t believe she was doing that, texting him was a crazy scenario in her head, that type of stuff never happen to people like her so she wouldn’t keep any high hopes. Alessandra and Giuliana decided to grab dinner outside because contrary to popular believe ballerinas usually ate a lot; when they arrived home Alessandra didn’t check her phone since she replied the message and she wasn’t ready to do that yet, so she went to the bathroom took a long shower, got ready for bed and still was too scared to check it out. Alessandra laid down in her bed, she thought about going to sleep without checking her phone but the curiosity was eating her alive, so she took her phone out and opened Instagram.

Tom Blyth sent you a message 

Tom Blyth 

I would never forget about you Ale 😂

How are you? You never told me you were ballerina!!

Alessandra Di Maggio

are you a millennial?? What’s up with that emoji 💀

well you never told me that you were an actor so we are even 

Tom Blyth 

Being a millennial is okay, I’m a proud millennial 

How old are you?

if you don’t mind me asking 

Alessandra Di Maggio

I’m 22 and you Tom boy?

gonna be honest I was stalking your profile and I want to say that I don’t agree about riding horses but I’m 100% down to ride the cowboy

Tom Blyth 

I’m 27, so you’re an iPad kid???

You gotta be a little bit more creative if that’s the way you flirt but you don’t look bad in those leotards and thighs 

Alessandra Di Maggio

so you’re a grandpa???

I had to make the joke Tom, it was funny to me 🙄🙄🙄

Tom Blyth 

What if we play 21 questions so we can make other type of jokes funny girl 

Alessandra Di Maggio

did you google that??

but sure 

were where you born?

Tom Blyth 

You’re way too funny 🙄🙄

I’m from Birmingham and you?

What’s your fav color?

Alessandra Di Maggio

I’m from Naples, best part of Italy 

such a deep question 

light blue and yours ?

Tom Blyth 

Like the color of my eyes?

Dark purple, I think so 

What’s up with the caption on your la post??

Alessandra Di Maggio

That counts as one of your questions

A little bit lighter than yours British boy

It’s from a song called “JESUS IN BERLIN”

Are you here for pleasure or for work?

Tom Blyth 

I’m working on a Movie, i’ll be here for three months 

Are you a professional ballerina or is just a hobbie?

Alessandra Di Maggio

let’s hope your big movie doesn’t make a chaos in the city 

I’m a professional ballet dancer

okay, now we’re getting into the deeper questions 

Tom Blyth 

I can go deeper if you want funny girl 😏

They talked until like three in the morning until Alessandra felt asleep, both of them couldn’t believe how the conversation was flowing like they known each other for a while also but of them have the same sense of humor so it’s makes everything a little bit easier to get to know each other, Alessandra wasn’t sure if all the dirty jokes were real and he wanted all that but she wouldn’t mind a three month affair with an English boy, at the end they might never see each other again.

Tom Blyth posted a story 

This is what her if ig looks like 

[berryunho]

ITS SAN ANON HELLO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT CURSED ASS VIDEO CHOI SAN POSTED ON INSTAGRAM I WOKE UP LIKE 2 MINHYES AFTER AND I AAW THAT AND IM ATILL BOT OK

hello it’s san anon again and what the FUCK i scroll thru your recent posts ONCE and i get attacked w 50 san reblogs is your queue ok 😭😭😭😭 i both love and hate it here /pos

listen when i got the notif saying ateez_official just posted a reel i opened ig immediately and my jaw dropped so fast i had to immediately open my camera to take a picture of my face so that id remember it forever bc literally i have never been so affected by a . what . 5 second video in my LIFE WHAT THE FUCKAJSKFDJSLKDFJKS WHATJLAKJDF SKDF;LSJDLKCS HEEEEEE ALDJSFKAJSDLFKJASLDKFJ i cant . IM NEVER GETTING OVER IT LITERALLY NEVER REMEMBER IN THE ANSWER WHEN YN WAS GOING AWN AND AWN ABOUT HIS WAIST THAT WAS LITERALLY JUST ME LAYING MYSELF BARE IM SO FRAGILE SEEING THE MF SHAPE OF THAT MF MAN i cant . sorry .

BUT ANYWAYS my queue is ... never okay she's always full but honestly ... do not blame me blame the content creators on this website for making too many san sets ....... not my fault .... i see any ateez post i hit queue ....... it just so happens that many of them are san ...... ehehehehe

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOURE WELL AND HAD A GOOD WEEKEND MWAH

[illicitlimerence-writes]

close friends | t. holland

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.

my masterlist

so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.

it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.

naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.

eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.

instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.

he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,

'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'

the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.

thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.

'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'

who's story? what was going on?

you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.

a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.

oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.

sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.

you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.

you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.

it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.

"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.

"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.

"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."

"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.

"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.

"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.

he did not react like you had expected him to.

his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.

"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.

at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.

"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.

"are you okay?" you asked again.

"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.

“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.

“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.

“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.

“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”

“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.

“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.

“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.

“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.

“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.

“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.

“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.

“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.

you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.

you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.

once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.

once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.

when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.

“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.

“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.

he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.

in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.

you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.

you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.

“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.

“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.

“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.

“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.

“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.

you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.

although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.

you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.

“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”

with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.

‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’

all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.

your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.

“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.

his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.

whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.

“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.

you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.

you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.

after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.

as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.

‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’

next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.

you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.

you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.

you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.

“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.

you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.

the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.

tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.

“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.

tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.

‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’

edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

ONE PLUS ONE || 1 ||

✨Summary: Trials and Tribulations of vinnie and his gf.

✨pairing: Vinnie Hacker x black!OC

✨genre: fluff ig

✨word count: 1.7k

Both characters are like 22 in this btw.

______________________________________🖊

"Come on Rhey, it's not funny." Vin groaned, already embarrassed at the outcome of his recent tiktok. He had posted a thirst trap on tiktok with boxers on. He thought the video looked okay, until he read the comments where people were talking about his dick size.

Ignoring him, Rhey continued to laugh, her box braid up-do coming down in the process. She scrolled through the comments to read more as her boyfriend glared at her, "Look at this one someone said Your dick looks so small I bet your girlfriend uses it as a toothpick.' I AM SCREAMING"

"Ha ha ha." He grumbled, crossing his arms as he kept his eyes on her. The comments weren't even all that funny, she just wanted something to laugh at.

"Awwww is the wittle baby upset his weewee is small." Rhey playfully cooed at him, grabbing his face in her hands. His cheeks went red as he felt her warm hands move his face fro side to side in a cooing manner, as if she were his grandmother.

"Baby stop it's not funny. Someone said my dick looks like a pebble. My dick is literally 11 inches. What fucking pebble are they talking about." He complained as he stood up from the couch and went into their room. The second he closed the door, the rest of their friends came inside of her LA villa with confused faces. She completely forgot she gave them keys.

"He's mad his fans are calling his dick small." She responded before walking into their room to see him lying down, stomach on the bed with his phone in his hand scrolling through social media. She walked over to him and laid on top of him, putting her head on his shoulder so that she could whisper in his ear.

"You know I was only joking right. You have a whole girlfriend, your thirst trapping days are over." She stated her breathe fanning his ear, causing chills to run down his arms. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He only posted it because half his tiktok was now filled with his girlfriend. People were tired of him expressing how long they were together. It's been 8 years, them getting together at 14.

"Everyone knows you radiate big dick energy." She exclaimed, trying to cheer him up but it didn't work. He was still upset about a bunch of 12 year old calling his dick small.

Not knowing what to do, Rhey started to get up to see the rest of their friends but Vinnie quickly grabbed her and turned her around to where she was on the bed and he was on top of her.

"I was fine a long time ago. I just wanted your attention." He admitted, laying his head on her chest, their typical position. She snorted and smacked the back of his head. He laughed and kissed her cheek

"What time do you have to head back to the studio?" Vinnie asked, momentarily breaking the silence. Rhey checked her phone.

"In about an hour. I have one more song that needs to be done. I just have I finish the last verse and record it." She replied.

Of course she wasn't going to tell him that the entire song was about him...and that she named it after him. What he won't know won't hurt him. She never told him about the other songs or the album cover either, hence why she made him do a photo shoot with her a few months ago.

"Great so that gives me enough time to cuddle you and post you again." He replied, as he went onto his phone and pulled up instagram. Rhey sighed. Every time he posted her his fans went crazy for no reason. They hated the fact that he was with someone who had a much larger platform than him.

He stuck his tongue out while she puckered her lips while grabbing his face.

"Well my phone is gonna blow up. Thanks for that Vincent." Rhey sighed as she awaited the thousands of notifications from IG.

"No problem princess." He replied cheekily, giving his girlfriend a huge smile. She playfully rolled her eyes at him.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for the next 20 to 30 minutes. No we're we're spoken, just the soft sounds of breathing could be heard from both partners. They were well aware that their friends were still in their house but they didn't care.

"Wanna know what I always found funny?" Rhey asked, playing with her boyfriends fingers. Vinnie perked his head up lightly, waiting for an answer.

"When we were 18, and I was just getting started with my career and you were getting hella famous on tiktok like you are now. I was always told that you and I would never work because of our race and two completely different personalities despite them not knowing we've been together since 2012. I don't know why I think it's funny but it just is." She explained, not looking at Vinnie. She knew he had always felt some type of way when people mentioned our relationship in a negative way. He was still getting over his anger issues at the time so of course when your at the peak of your influencer career, you're gonna make some rash decisions.

"I mean i've made some bad decisions I admit, but I knew the second I met you all of that had to change. I don't know why, but there was always something about you that I had to get to know on a more personal level when we were 14. You really are a light in my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Even with me being 18 at that time and so blind to new found fame, I knew what I wanted and it was you." Vinnie explained himself.

There was a period of time where he knew his feelings for Rhey were real but he knew that if he wanted to be the guy she wanted him to be he had to change, so they remained friends until he got his shit together and then he finally did he built up enough courage to ask her out, and it they're still together years later.

"Oh shit! I have to go!" Rhey shrieked after checking the time on her phone, jumping up from the bed. She hurriedly grabbed her nike slides and wallet, before rushing over to Vinnie to give him a kiss, which he happily returned, but before she turned around to leave he grabbed her hand causing her to look back at him.

"Am I gonna get a little snippet of the album?" He asked sneakily, making his girlfriend laugh.

"Theres 22 songs on the album. That's the only hint you're getting." She laughed before running out of the room to head to the studio.

Fortunately she made it in time, seeing her manager standing in front of the main studio door, waiting for her. She walked up to her and smiled wearily, not wanting to be scolded for being the second one to arrive.

"It's about time!" She exaggerated, grabbing the key and opening the door. Rhey hurriedly facetimed Vinnie who answered on the second ring. His face was deadly nonchalant as he looked at her. That's when she knew he was upset that she had left him so she tried to cheer him up by posing but it didn't work.

"I'm getting a studio built in the house. I hate leaving," She sighed, making a smile to quickly etch on his face. She rolled her eyes at his childish antics.

"I'm going to a meeting. Apparently some modelling company wants to meet up with me but my agent won't tell me who so we'll see how it goes." Vinnie explained through the phone. His nerves were shot with anxiousness.

"Well let me know how it goes."

"I will, I love you."

"I love you more,"

She hung up the phone and walked into the studio to begin her session, her producer, Pierce already working on some new beats for her last verse in her last song. After that gets perfected, the album is complete.

"You ready to get this masterpiece completed?"

Rhey smiled nervously. "Let's do it!"

"I know you said your boyfriend was your main focus behind the album. Is all the songs about him?" Pierce asked as he messed with a few buttons while Rhey got her lyric book out.

"Yes each and every song is about either him or our relationship." She replied mindlessly, flipping through pages, after finding the page with her recent song on it. She started to write words down that had came to her in the morning when she woke up. She smiled once she realized she had just finished her last verse for her last song on the album.

"Listen to this and tell me what you think about it. I added some small guitar riffs on the beginning to give it more of a natural groove." Pierce stated, turning the volume up. All of her songs were a little upbeat and happy and the last song was slow and smooth. A great way to end an album.

"It's amazing Pierce." She whispered, trying to get herself not to cry. She had been trying to find a way to express her love for Vinnie for MONTHS, and this album just might've done it.

Pierce smiled, "Then get yo ass in the booth and let's record it." He pushed her into the booth and got the music ready as she started to  get herself together to sing.

A few minutes later she stopped singing and sighed in happiness. Her album was finally finished.

>1 hour later<

"BABY! VINNIE WHERE ARE YOU?" Rhey yelled as she walks through the house, rapidly throwing her things all over the place, excited to tell her boyfriend about the news.

"Bedroom." He replied.

Rhey ran inside with a smile on her face, only for it drop once she saw the long look on her boyfriends face. He sighed and grabbed her hand, making her sit beside him. His face showed distress so she news couldn't have been good.

"The surprise meeting that I was had with vogue...they wanna sign me." He sighed, clearly not happy about the offer.

"Are you kidding me? This is huge! It means we'll be under the same company! How are you not happy about this?" She exclaimed with a large smile on her face.

"It's for Vogue Paris...not L.A."

Her smile dropped...

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 37

Word Count: 3,233

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Notes: So here we are trying to determine what happened with the IG story. Lots of baby stuff in this part. Thanks for sticking with me as I’ve been alternating updating this as well as NSDL. Hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading! And Let’s Go STARS!!!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

"Baby," Tyler whispered while gently kissing your cheek. When you didn't wake right away, he tried again. "(Y/N), babe, wake up." You weren't sure if it was Tyler's second attempt or Jace loudly sucking on his pacifier that actually woke you up, but your eyes flew open immediately as you sat up at the same time, almost bumping Tyler's forehead. He laughed at your disoriented state.

 It took you a minute to register that Tyler had Jace in bed with the two of you. "Oh my god, did I sleep through him crying?" You'd been exhausted when you and Tyler finally fell asleep after having sex for the first time, in what seemed like forever, but you didn't think that you'd sleep through Jace's cries. The second he started to make noise you were usually up.

 "He just whimpered a little and I went up with him." It made you feel a bit better that your child hadn't been full-on sobbing and you didn't wake up, but still, you hadn't felt Tyler get out of bed at all. "I can't find a bottle or I wouldn't have woken you up."

 "I didn't get a chance to pump yesterday."

 "Mmm," he hummed his understanding, knowing that it had been a busy day for all three of you. "Well, the paci has kept him entertained for a bit, but it's not going to be long now. I can tell." You adjusted your pillows getting a little more comfortable to breastfeed Jace, when you realized you didn't have any clothes on, not that it mattered as it was just the three of you; it was just sort of odd. Tyler handed Jace over to you.

 "Hey, mommy's boy. Are you hungry?" Taking Jace's pacifier out of his mouth, you set it on the nightstand, while Tyler cuddled closer to the two of you. Jace usually latched on quickly, but he seemed to be a bit disgruntled tonight, squirming around and starting to fuss. You let him cry a bit before trying again and having no success. "Maybe he's wet."

 "I just changed him," Tyler told you, now sitting up beside you in the bed. "What's wrong bud?" Jace just cried louder. He acted hungry but just didn't want to eat. Tyler reached across and put his pacifier in, which he suckled on with enthusiasm.

 "He definitely seems hungry."

 "Yeah, he's chomping on that thing, pretty good." You took the pacifier out and tried again, now that you knew for sure your little man wanted food. Jace just turned his head away with a loud cry.

 "I don't know what to do, this has never happened before," you told Tyler. Between Jace's cries and your full breasts, they started to leak, and you handed the baby over to Tyler. "Let me go pump some and put it in a bottle for him." As soon as you had a couple ounces of milk, you put it in a bottle for Jace to try. He rejected it once again, his cries now filling the house and you felt like the worst mother in the world since you didn't know what to do. Even the dogs were upset as their baby brother sobbed and sobbed. "What time is it? Maybe I can call my mom." You looked at your phone, seeing some notifications on them but paying them any mind. It was four in the morning and you knew calling would set your parents into a panic attack, but then you were freaking out yourself at the moment. You were just about to call your mom when you thought about the nurse telling you to keep some formula on hand just for cases like this.

 Tyler was still rocking Jace back and forth in his arms when you flew out to the kitchen, opening the pantry and scouring it for the formula. As you found it, you heard Tyler's voice. "Babe, what are you doing?"

 "I remembered the nurse saying something about trying formula if this happened. I thought she meant in the first few days but I'm willing to give it a try." It had now been over an hour that your baby was crying and your hands were literally shaking as you got the formula ready. Which was silly really, because all babies got fussy at times, this was just Jace's first time and it was setting you on edge. Thank god Tyler was here to help you through it. "It's ok Jace, mommy's almost done."

 Twisting the cap on the rubber nipple, you handed the bottle over to your husband as you watched Jace's face with unblinking eyes. His little face scrunched up at first and he seemed to fight it, and you were ready to burst into tears, but then he started to suck. "I think he likes it." As soon as the words left Tyler's mouth you started to cry. "Babe, he's fine. It's ok." He moved closer to your side unable to get an arm around you like he wanted to.

 "I know and I'm happy about that, but why wouldn't he take mine?" you sniffled out and realized you were standing in the kitchen naked, crying, while your son took his bottle happily from his father who also wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. "Oh my god, we are a fucking mess." You hiccupped, between tears and laughter now.

 Tyler chuckled, leaning the bottle on his chest as he wiped your tears away quickly. "Thank god no one else is here." You'd only made two ounces and Jace downed half of that faster than you thought, so you went and made two more just in case. It had been several hours since he'd eaten and with all his crying, the poor little thing was starving. Ty propped him up on his shoulder patting his little back to burp as you both went back into your bedroom. You still had his bassinet down there and figured if he fell asleep, you'd just put him there instead of taking him back to his crib. Tyler sat down on the bed, and Jace let out a blech so loud you thought it was your husband. "Uh babe, can you get me a towel?" You peered around Tyler's shoulder only to notice Jace's spit up running down his back and you just burst out laughing.

 "We're really a shitshow tonight."

 "Please don't say shitshow." And you only laughed harder as Tyler tapped his son's butt. "We don't need to add a blowout tonight. Do we bud?" By the time you got back with a wet washcloth, Tyler was feeding Jace his second bottle. He fell asleep about halfway through. "Poor little guy, you tired yourself out, huh?" You kissed his sweet little head before Tyler laid him down in the bassinet, the two of you exhausted as well.

 "What time do you have practice?" You asked Ty, as you crawled back into bed.

 "Not until ten, so I don't have to be up until seven-thirty." He joined you under the covers cuddling you close. "Let's go back to sleep for a bit." He dropped a kiss to your lips and the two of you slept for a couple hours, waking before Jace.

 Tyler was off to practice when Jace finally woke up. He was your happy little man for a bit, but again when it was time to nurse he just wasn't having it. Rather than make him upset, you opted to just give him formula, then decided to call his doctor. Who basically told you, that babies went through this from time to time and that if it went on for a few more days, to call and you could discuss some options. She also reassured you that if you started weening Jace, he would be absolutely fine. You felt a little better after talking to her about everything.

 It was close to noon when you finally got to put Jace down for a nap and you picked up your phone. There were several missed phone calls from Jenna, so you pressed her name and called her back. She didn't even give you time to say hello. "Finally, are you ok?"

 "Yeah, Jace is on a boob strike at the moment and was incredibly fussy last night."

 "Boob strike?"

 "Yeah for some reason he decided he doesn't want to nurse and only wants formula." You still were upset by this, but were trying to comes to terms with it after your conversation with the doctor. "I know it's weird considering he's Tyler's child." When Jenna didn't laugh at your joke, you found yourself saying, "Is something else wrong?"

 "Umm…"

 "Spit it out, Jenna."

 "Well, they're gone now, as Alandra took all the comments off." You remembered then that Alandra had posted on Instagram last night at the game, so you could only assume that the same person who sent you the direct message about cheating was up to no good.

 "They're, as in multiple?"

 "Yeah," Jenna's voice was weak as she confirmed your suspicion. "They weren't good (Y/N)."

 "So, what did they say?"

 "There were a couple that just said you baby trapped Tyler, which we both know isn't true." It was actually the furthest thing from the truth though having Jace was the best thing that happened to you. "There were two that said Tyler is cheating on you." Jenna hurriedly followed that comment up. "Which I know isn't true at all. I mean Tyler loves you more than anything and Jamie agrees. Plus he told me that when they were on the last road trip all Tyler did was talk to you and Jace or mope around because he wasn't with you guys."

 "I know he wouldn't cheat Jenna." You sighed heavily before telling her the rest. "Someone sent me a message saying that same thing but the picture was an old fan pic. It's probably just some fangirl that upset he's off the market, at least that's what I told Tyler." You also told him not to look into it further and you still stood by that. "I'm sorry that they came on Alandra's story like that though. I'll have to call her and apologize."

 "I talked to her. She just feels bad she didn't turn the comments off until this morning." Jenna paused but you could tell there was more. "There was one other thing." When she didn't continue you prompted her. "There was one saying that Jace isn't Tyler's son."

 "What the fuck? Why would someone say that?"

 "I know right? I mean, it said something about how you'd slept with all these men and were now passing Jace off so you could get money from Tyler." The more she told you, the more livid you got.

 You were pacing around the kitchen, anger radiating off of you. "Who the fuck would say that? It's not true and you know it."

 "I know and god you were only with that one dickhead and not for that long. How anyone would know about that I have no clue? Besides, Jace is like a mini Tyler anyone can see that. I just wanted to give you a heads up as I'm sure Tyler will be fuming when he finds out."

 God, she was right. He was going to be so pissed. "Thanks, Jenna. I'm just so mad right now. I would throw something if it wouldn't walk up Jace."

 "Do you want me to come over? I'll hold the pillow for you to punch as long as you promise not to miss." That made you laugh, but only a little.

 "No, I'm fine, but I may take you up on that offer at some point." Just then you heard the garage door opening. "Ty's home. I'm sure this is going to be fun. I'll call you later ok?"

 "You better and remember take some deep breaths."

 "Thanks." You hung up the phone right as Tyler slammed the mudroom door. "Quieter please, Jace is sleeping."

 "Sorry," He whispered out harshly. "I'm just so fucking mad right now. You will never believe what the guys just told me."

 "That someone posted shit on Alandra's IG? Yeah, I just got off the phone with Jenna."

 "That's it (Y/N), I'm calling up my team and seeing what can be done about it. Don't tell me not to." He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went to slam the door but thought about it and shut it gently after your reminder about Jace.

 "I'm not going to argue." He practically spit his water out when he heard that. "I could care less what they say about me, but Jace, that's a different story." You could feel your blood pressure rising still angry at the comments that were made about Jace's paternity. "You don't believe what they said do you?" Tyler pulled his eyebrows together and you didn't know if he was asking you about what remarks you were talking about or if he was simply saying how could he believe them. So you found yourself saying, "The part about Jace not being yours."

 "Jesus no." He set the bottle down and grabbed you instead. "(Y/N), I know without a doubt that Jace is my son. I've never questioned that…ever!" He dropped a kiss to your lips. "Ever, do you understand me?" You nodded when he pulled back slightly and suddenly tears were flooding your eyes. It wasn't the fact that Tyler believed you, for you knew that he did. It was just everything in the last twenty-four hours, the game, Jace not nursing, and now this. Tyler wrapped you up in his arms, kissing the top of your head as you cried. "We'll find out who's doing this babe." Tyler was right. He would get his people on it and then the whole matter would be settled. Until then you just planned to lay low on social media. Once you calmed down, he held you at arm's length. "Now why don't you go take a hot bath and just relax a little."

 "Jace just laid down. We should have a little time." You quirked a brow at him. "Why don't you join me."

 "Mmm, I like that idea even better." He twisted you so your back was to him then swatted your ass. "Let me just go kiss my son and I'll be right there."

 You went into your en suite and started to run the water, putting in some bath salts to make it more relaxing. You could hear Tyler on the monitor with your son. "Hey bud," he whispered softly careful not to wake him. "You keep sleeping so I can have some time with mommy and daddy will get you anything you want when you get bigger." You had to laugh at your husband already trying to bribe his son. You made a mental note to not like Tyler buy everything your child wanted in the future. "I love you, Jace. Daddy's going to protect you and mommy." It melted your heart to hear his words. You heard him close the door and you quickly got in the tub, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping on his conversation with Jace.

 Tyler quickly stripped his clothes then crawled in the bath behind you. The tub was large and made for two people, though you hadn't gotten too many chances to use it since you moved in. "Mmhmm," Tyler said settling in behind you. "I missed things like this with you." You leaned back against his chest, as his hands slid around your middle then up to idly play with your breasts.

 "I missed this too." Turning slightly, you leaned up urging Tyler to kiss you, which he happily obliged. His fingers tweaked and pinched your nipples as his lips pressed against yours. You could feel Tyler's erection pressing against your bottom as you melted into him. His lips ghosted down to the hollow of your neck where he sucked and nipped, probably leaving a mark but you didn't care, instead, you just moaned out your pleasure. "Mmm, Ty." You felt one of his hands glide down your stomach so that his fingers could slip in between your pussy lips. Though you knew you probably had at least an hour, the way Tyler made your body feel had your hips seeking more in just this short amount of time.

 "I love how you're still so eager for me babe," Tyler breathed out as he continued to finger you.

 "Always Ty, I will never stop wanting you." It was true, even after the two of you broke up, you still craved him. Needed him really, almost as much as you needed air to breathe. Jace had brought you back together; had made you love each other even more, and you would let nothing and no one come between you now. Tyler hit your g-spot, bringing you out of your musings and back to the pleasure only he knew how to make you feel. "I need you, Ty."

 "I'm right here baby." He whispered in your ear, before taking your earlobe between his lips, gently tugging on it. His fingers worked faster to bring you closer to the edge. Your hips thrusting of their own accord as he coaxed you to orgasm. Water sloshed around with your movements and though you were close you wanted his cock inside you when you finally came.

 You halted his fingers, then lifted up so you could turn around and straddle his hips. He helped you sink back into the water and onto his cock. He filled you inch by inch until he was fully engulfed inside you. Cupping your face, he brought your lips to his, in a searing kiss as you started to ride him. More water lapped around your naked bodies and you knew some of it was getting on the floor but didn't care as you rode Tyler. "I love you, Ty."

 "I love you too (Y/N)." It wasn't long before you were building up a frenzied pace, one that had you both panting with need as you worked toward climax. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you rocked back and forth. His one hand slid to your clit, where he flicked the little nub, and then you were there. Moaning out his name as the orgasm hit you. Your pussy spasmed around him and with a few thrusts of his hips, he followed you into that heavenly bliss. The two of you laid there, bodies cooling just as the water around did you. You weren't sure how long you laid there, but then you heard the familiar gurgles of your little boy. "Looks like someone is waking up."

 "Ugh, I thought he would sleep longer." You told Tyler.

 "Well, he's not crying yet." He slapped your ass playfully. "Let me up and I'll go check on him."

 "Mmm, have I mentioned how much I love you." You leaned back on the other side of the tub to let Tyler out.

 "Maybe once or twice, but you can tell me again tonight after Jace goes to bed." Tyler winked then threw a towel around his waist before heading up to go check on the baby. Your life really was perfect, except for the fact that someone was definitely trying to break up your family.  

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

tried having do not disturb on all day today and actually i kind of love it?? 

having pretty much any kind of tech that can be used for communication kind of makes you available to people 24/7 but it also makes you available to what your little sphere of the internet wants to throw at you 24/7 and actually i don’t think i like that

not only is it bad for me because i’m easily distracted so if i see a notif of someone posting an IG story or a notif of an email or the latest trend on twitter i’ll almost certainly check that and then check something else and then end up on my device for way longer than i want, but it’s also bad because it’s just so disruptive

today i woke up and checked my iPod touch briefly which i practically use the same way as a phone and then i didn’t touch it again until after i finished dinner when i scrolled manually through apps of interest and i haven’t touched it again since. i had like two thirty minute or less periods during the day where i looked at everything of interest and that was it. 

can’t even begin to stress how much that would not be the case if notifs were coming through. every time it lights up i’m like ooo what’s that let me see. and look i’m bad at staying focused and on track at the best of times but that just enables me to stray from whatever i’m doing so badly. and it makes me feel like i’m wasting time

it’s like i’m not just setting boundaries for contacting me i’m setting boundaries for how much i allow the digital world to impact my life and it’s only been a day of it but i think it’s gonna make me feel much better in the long run to not be perpetually connected. i already felt less stressed today. for example, instead of being hit with uh oh! important email! out of nowhere that causes a bunch of anxiety while i’m trying to enjoy a book, i just check my emails when i’m ready to give them my attention to reply to any important matters. or instead of things piling up like i need to reply to this message and i need to do an update and i need to check that email asap i’m just completely unaware until i decide to give my attention to what’s new so it isn’t in the back of my mind for hours. which is less stress.

anyway. would recommend. if you can. i know that’s not plausible for everyone but all the friends i have don’t expect an immediate response from me and it’s not a phone so actual calls wanting to get ahold of me are unaffected. i am just enjoying little ways of making my relationship w/ technology and the internet healthier for me

[nightswithkookmin]

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 59

~*~Emma~*~

The lake had been fun. It was initially awkward, but after we loaded into the boat and were underway it got better. I snagged a spot up front in the bow. I was joined by three girls, now women, I’d known well in high school. We started by talking about our current lives and by the time we'd found a spot to anchor we were telling old stories and laughing through our memories. Once the four of us had reconnected the others were easy with conversations and groupings overlapping. An hour later it felt like old times. There were lots of pictures taken and we were texting them to each other immediately. I posted some on Instagram and sent some directly to Sebastian. I had no problem posting bikini-clad pictures of me in a group, but solo went only to him. I've never been one for posting me. It's usually an activity with people.

There was a dock near the southeast border of the lake for gassing up and they had a sandwich shop. Sandwich included hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, and onion rings. We decided to eat at the picnic tables. Stowing food was more to pack up and could stink. We were relaxing and waiting for the last ones to finish when my notification went off. Chris Evans was asking permission to follow my account. Interesting. Approved. Not a minute later so was Chace Crawford. Also approved, but with a snarky DM about his pickup lines. He'd hit on me at Kirk's wedding. Very unsuccessfully.

Emma ~ Tell Chris hi and nice to meet him.

Sebastian ~ We’re not talking about you. Much. Ok, we are. Sebastian ~ We're mostly looking at pictures.

Emma ~ The ones on your phone are much better than IG

Sebastian ~ Chace will be the one to figure that out.

 Chris DM'd me, “Can't wait to meet you in person. Hearing very sweet things.”

I sent back, "A few are true. He exaggerates."

"Yeah, he's got a huge crush on you."

"Nice to know."

We watched sunset out on the water. It was beautiful. The haze and clouds made for muted pinks, purples, blues, and grays. I took a dozen of those hoping to catch the perfect one. I was in a group of people, but the sunset had me feeling lonely. It was fleeting and I was back into the party spirit quickly.

Amy thought it was a good idea to take everyone back to our house for a pool party. I did not agree. Our parents were home babysitting their granddaughter and we were about to invade with a hoard of drunk friends. All of whom were inviting more and asking them to pick up booze. It felt very high school and in need of at least a phone call. However, it was Amy’s idea and no one wanted to hear from me last night. I wouldn’t be calling ahead.

I went inside to go to the bathroom and ran into dad. "What's all that noise we just got Katie in bed?"

"Amy invited some friends back to the pool."

"You’re teenagers again."

"Seems like it."

"Try and keep it down."

"I will tell her." Not my party. Not my crowd control. I did my business and went back outside. Amy was making out with Max in the pool. I tapped on her head, breaking their kiss, "Dad said to keep it down."

They went back to kissing. I'd deemed my message delivered and headed to the bar, putting in the code and retrieving a bottle of tequila. When I stood up, I was surprised to see Kai on the other side of the bar. Kai was the boyfriend who broke up with me after rehab. Kai's hands were shoved in the pockets of his swim shorts. He nodded toward the group, "Amy said you'd be ok with me coming. I wanted to check."

My current plan for Amy’s death was drowning. She was already in the pool after all. I pasted a less than genuine smile on my face, "It's fine, Kai. It was a long time ago. How are you?"

Kai was very southern lawyer attractive. Thinking back, he always had been. "I’m good. I did become a lawyer. Work for a firm here in Alpharetta. I got married three years ago. Her name is Melanie. We're expecting a baby in January."

"Congratulations. That’s wonderful."

He nodded, "Thank you. What are you up to?"

"I teach first grade, love it. I play in a volleyball rec league. My best friend's in a band so I go into the city and visit. My boyfriend lives there too."

Kai laughed, "I might have heard about him."

"I bet. He's a good guy. Lots of fun and good to me.”

"Better than I was, I’m sure."

Ah! This was going to be some sort of apology. I cringed and pulled up my shades for a second, "Well Kai, you did break up will me three days after I got back from rehab. You kinda failed at supportive boyfriend."

"Yeah, I did. Sorry. In hindsight, it was a shitty thing to do. Bad timing and a lie of a reason."

"I knew that."

"Sorry. I’ve always felt guilty."

I smiled, "It was a long time ago, Kai. We've grown up. We're both doing well."

"I wish we could go back to friends again. We were friends since middle school."

I don't think he realized that made it worse. We’d been friends before we were anything else and none of that mattered when he left me. It didn’t matter to me now. “I stopped being angry with you a very, very long time ago, Kai. Forgave you for leaving me when I needed you. But there’s no reason for us to be friends now. I come back a couple of times a year. You and I are strangers now. And while I have forgiven you, I’d never trust you again.” His guilt is not a reason for me to welcome him back into my life.

“Wow.” He looked surprised.

I smiled, “I wish nothing but the best for you.”  I leaned back to see under the bar and brought up a couple of glasses. “Drink to old times?”

He looked surprised again. “Yeah, Em.”

“Good.” I poured the tequila and tapped my glass against his. “To happy memories and years of fun times.”

We both drank and he walked around to my side of the bar. It was my turn to be surprised when he hugged me, “I wish nothing but the best for you too, Emma.”

I patted his back, “Thank you.”

Kai let go and walked back toward the pool.

I tell you what, this has been the strangest visit I’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot. I’m starting to get paranoid about what the next three days are going to bring. I poured another tequila and questioned my decision to not hop back on a plane last night. I could be home in my bed or in the city tucked into Sebastian’s bed waiting for him to get home or out with Eli and Angie. All preferable to this mixed bag of what the fuck.

I hung out for another hour before letting Amy I was heading to bed. Family day was supposed to start at about noon. That gave me time to sleep in a little, go for a run, and shower before arrivals started. Of course, because I had time to sleep in, I woke up at my normal time. I texted Sebastian, saying good morning, and was pleasantly surprised when his face showed up on my phone.

“It’s morning, but good is a stretch.”

He looked a little rough, but still handsome. “Good night with the boys?”

Sebastian nodded then winced, “Very.” He filled me in on his night. There’d been lots of laughs and he gave me back story on any conversations. I liked watching him talk. In his hungover state, he was less animated than usual, but his expressions and eyes still conveyed a range of emotions. I laughed at the late-night stories. My favorite was Chris edging between Chace and Sebastian in the bathroom, sharing a urinal with Seb because he couldn’t wait.

My stories weren’t nearly as funny. It’s possible things got out of hand after I’d gone to bed. I’m sure Amy would fill me in. I told him about the conversation with Kai.

“Ouch, you’re tough.”

I rolled to my side, putting the phone against the pillow, “It’s not my responsibility to ease his guilt.”

“True.”

“If we were going to be around each other my response might have been different, but there’s no reason. Haven’t seen him in twelve years, likely won’t for at least that long. We talked at the party, laughed. We’re just not going to be friends.”

“No, no, I get it.” He was shaking his head. “I think you might still be a little angry.”

I laughed, “Maybe I should have been less direct. I wasn’t expecting to see him. More indifferent than angry.”

“I don’t know if you should have. I just don’t want to be on the receiving end of your directness. The indifferent version.” He smiled with his using my word instead of his “angry”. “You were pretty direct with Drew in the bar too. I like you having a little bite.” He looked like he was thinking and I stayed quiet. “You are incredibly kind until you’re not. I mean, I think you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but once they cross over the line where you don’t trust them you have no problem putting them in their place. That’s a good thing. Sometimes people don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.”

“Ed tells me I let people get away with too much.”

“Do you think so?”

“Sometimes. I can give too many chances. It all depends on how much I care about someone and the size of the bad behavior. I think I’m usually direct and kind at the same time, but when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough.”

“I tend to sugar coat too much. Then get pissy when nothing changes and sometimes it’s because I wasn’t clear.”

Now I had a question. “Are you sugar-coating and think I was mean to Kai?”

“I was imagining being on the receiving end. I wouldn’t have liked it, but, no, I don’t think you were mean.”

“You’d have to fuck up a lot.” Sebastian’s opinion was important. “I’m direct with the good stuff too.”

“I know you are.” His blue eyes lit up with his smile. “I always know where I stand, how you feel.”

Not always. Not right now. “You read me bedtime stories when I’m sad.”

“And you ask me what I need when I’m anxious.”

“Quite the pair.”

“Yes, we are.”

We just looked at each other for a long time. “Your flight is at three.”

“Twelve, moved up to squeeze in a dinner tonight.”

I looked at the time on my phone, “You need to get to the airport.”

“Yeah.” He turned the camera where I could see his bags. “All packed. I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel for our date.”

Our phone sex date. I smiled and kissed my screen, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Definitely.”

I laid in bed for a few more minutes, just enjoying being happy, before I got up and got dressed to go for a run.  Mom and dad were already downstairs having coffee. I walked around the table, kissing both of their cheeks, “I’m going for a run before everyone gets here.”

Mom nodded over her cup, “How late was everyone here last night?”

I shrugged, “I went to bed about ten. Long day in the sun and then old friends showing up. I was done. Kai showed up. That was less than fun.”

“You left your sister to manage all your friends?”

Notice how they failed to ask how I was after an unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend. I know I did. I thought about the conversation with Sebastian and what he’d said about some people not deserving the benefit of the doubt. The other night was the first time I’d been so confrontational with my parents in a very long time. Like since I was sixteen right before I moved to Seattle. I took a deep breath and tried to pull in some of the calmness I’d had upstairs in bed. “Guys, we’re almost thirty, not thirteen. Hopefully, we’ve grown out of getting so drunk we knock over patio furniture and throw up in the pool. If not, they are Amy’s problem. They are her friends, not mine. She invited them over. I haven’t seen most of these people for over ten years. And are you telling me in addition to not talking too much about my boyfriend or anything else that makes me happy, I am also expected to babysit my sister?”

“Emma, you’re overreacting.”

Again, with the fucking overreacting. I’m not an overreactor. If anything, I’m an underreactor. I’m positive I’m not overeating here. I guess it’s nice to know it’s not they don’t like Sebastian and don’t want to talk about him. They don’t want to talk about Kai either and I know they liked him. I muttered, “Unbelievable”, as I headed for the front door.

I ran far longer than I'd planned.

It took a long time to calm my mind and get into the zone. What often happens once I let go of my thoughts and get into a rhythm is that the thoughts organize themselves. When I stopped or during cool down I could see things more clearly. What I saw when I slowed my pace to a walk wasn't pretty. It had been my choice to leave rehab when it was no longer good for me. It had been my choice to call Ed to get me away from here when it was no longer good for me. I don't remember my parents favoriting Amy before that summer. Twenty-three days that strengthened me and weakened Amy. Broke my family and gave me a new one.

Choices, even ones that are good for you, have consequences. A tangled web of choices and consequences have led to now. This isn't my home. My parents' focus, as it had been since I went to Seattle or before, was Amy. I didn't agree with how they sheltered her, but I hadn't been here. In their view I was strong, I was fine, and they didn't have to worry about me. I had another family to worry about me. When I thought about it like this, it made sense. I'd left because being here was a threat to me. Now me being here was a threat to Amy. The situation was fucked. We'd all done the best we could. We still were. If what I'd told Sebastian was true, I wouldn't change anything if it meant I didn't know Ed, Jill, Olivia, and Harper. I had to accept the negatives too. I don't know what that means for the future, but as Ed tells me I put up with things too long sometimes.

I arrived back at the house as everyone was finishing breakfast. I'd separated myself from family time by taking a run. Or maybe I'd taken a run because I was separate from my family. I poured a cup of coffee and joined them at the table, helping myself to the container of Greek yogurt and covering it with berries. Blueberries for Sebastian and raspberries for me. That made me smile.

After I showered Amy and I went to pick up my grandparents. Amy told me what happened after I'd gone to bed, including her and Max having sex on the big round double lounger. I told her... nothing. I didn’t tell her about my fights with our parents, I didn’t tell her about the conversation with Kai. I most certainly didn't tell her about my phone sex date later with Sebastian, the early morning just woke up FaceTime, or how he'd read me Winnie the Pooh until I fell asleep. I hated it. I hated how yesterday we were back to talking like sisters and today it was not. Again, my choice, but I knew she’d tell our parents, which under any other circumstance would be fine, but I could not take any more. I could, but I didn’t want to.

The back yard easily held the gathering of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Kids played in the pool while adults talked with glasses of sangria and bottles of beer. The last stragglers were finishing their drinks when Katie crawled into my lap. She wanted me to take her to bed and read her a story. When the book was done, she curled up next to me, looked up, and said, "I love you, Emma."

I kissed her nose, "I love you, too.”

I joined my parents and sister in the family room. Amy explained they hadn't known how long I'd be with Katie and had started a movie without me. I lied and said it was fine, I'd seen it. There couldn't have been much left when “Dancing Queen” started playing from my phone. I stood up, "That’s Sebastian. He's in Canada. I'm going to take it upstairs. See you in the morning."

Mom yelled after me, "We need to leave at nine-thirty."

"OK." I connected the call, "Hey, baby, how was your flight and dinner?"

"Bumpy."

"Which one?"

"Both." His laughter was a balm that smoothed away the roughness of the day. "How was the barbeque and why can't I see you?"

I shut the door behind me and switched the call to video. "I was waiting until I could get you alone."

Sebastian put his arms across his chest, "What kind of a boy do you think I am?"

"A very handsome one." The top three buttons of his white dress shirt were unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely around his neck. "Damn, you look good."

"So do you."

I was in a plain peach t-shirt. He didn't care. To him, I looked good. I went back to his question, "It was fun. Caught up with lots of family. Watched kids in the pool. Mostly sat with my grandparents. Granny was happy to hold my hand and tell me I’m beautiful."

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in a gasp, "I like doing that too." He turned his head to the side looking over my face, "You don't look sad, but you don't look happy either. What's going on with you?"

I looked up for an answer, "I am accepting the reality of the situation. This isn't really home or really my family anymore. Their priority is Amy."

His face fell, "I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? What do you need?"

I smiled a real smile, "Nothing I don't already have." I could see he was struggling to believe me. "Since we were sixteen, they took care of Amy and Ed took care of me. I didn't realize exactly what that meant. Amy is doing better than she ever has. I always thought that when Amy was better." I stopped myself to figure out how I wanted to say this. "It took me coming home while things are good to realize it doesn't matter. Even if she is fine it's all a house of cards. I expected at some time things would be normal, but it won't be. I am changing my expectations."

"How do stop expecting your parents to support you?"

Good question. "You know why Jimmy and I broke up."

"He cheated."

"My parents do not. Amy didn't until Friday."

"Why not?" Sebastian's sadness for me was tinged with anger.

The list of things my parents didn’t know was long. "Just telling them we'd split. I felt like I might drown. The way they wanted to baby and take care of me felt like an anchor around my neck, like I was incapable of surviving a breakup. When I came here for Christmas, they had all these ideas for my life, but they never asked what I wanted. I knew if I told them he'd cheated it would be ten times worse. Does this make any sense?" It wasn't completely clear to me so how could it be to him.

Sebastian rubbed his fingers over his beard, pulling at the grey patch. "I hurt my knee once. They told me to take it easy for twenty-four hours, ice it, stay off it. Then I had exercises and had to move. Walking hurt like hell but it was the best thing if I wanted to heal. Your parents wanted you on bed rest when what you needed was PT. Support to get on your feet. Support should help, not cripple you."

"Exactly!" I smiled and ran my fingers over the video version of his face. "So not having their support isn’t new. I am working on accepting that's not going to change." I watched Sebastian bite his lip and let it slip free. "What's that about?"

"I feel lucky to know you. I'm so fucking proud of you. You don't get stuck in self-pity; you dig yourself out. It's the difference between seeing yourself as a victim or just someone who had something bad happen. They keep Amy stuck and Ed taught you resilience."

My heart stopped and I forgot how to breathe. Not in the good way. In the almost a panic attack way.

"I can do that with work, most things. Relationships." He scrunched up his face and rocked his head from side to side. "I'm learning."

"I'm not always good at it either." Sometimes I needed my ass kicked.

"That’s ok. I'll be here to help. You're still learning too."

I felt a slow smile form across my face and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be teaching me something tonight?"

I fought back the laugh at the way he squeezed his eyes shut and scrunched up his face. It took a good ten seconds for him to come back to me. I let go of the lip I was biting, "You ok there?"

"You cause me physical pain." He chuckled and smiled looking at me.

I don't think he minds all that much. "Where's it hurt, baby?" I dropped the tone and volume of my voice.

He made the face again and pointed his finger at me. "Turn off the camera."

My eyes went wide, "Why?"

"The first time I watch you get yourself off is going to be live."

"You have a lot of phone sex rules, Bastian." Still, I switched the phone to voice only. My screen went dark. I pouted. Not that he could see.

"Stop pouting and tell me what you're wearing."

I resisted the urge to tell him if he let me turn the damned camera back on, I'd show him. I didn't need to be taught how to do this. I was confident I could wing it just fine. What I didn’t know was if this was to be purely descriptive, giving each other instructions, or a role-play. It didn't matter. Any would be fun.

"I have on a peach t-shirt. It's not tight, but it fits against my body. Soft. My shorts are white. If you listen close, I bet you can hear me unzip them," I moved my phone lower to make sure he could. I left the phone by my hip, "I'm going to go ahead and take them off. My legs are smooth against my fingers."

"Take off your shirt too. Tell me about your bra and panties." His voice had taken on the timbre it gets when he's turned on.

"Nothing special. No one to see them. Simple white cotton. They do look nice against my tan."

"Next time we're together I’m licking those tan lines."

"Mmm, I'm looking forward to that. Tell me about you."

"Dressed from dinner. Black pants, long sleeve white shirt, black tie. You saw. Tie undone. A couple of buttons open and sleeves rolled up."

"Unbutton them all, but leave your shirt on. I like you undone. What’s going on with your pants?"

"They're tight. I’m not completely hard."

"Take them off. Rub yourself over your boxers. I love feeling you grow in my hand or my mouth. Your skin is so soft."

"Spread your legs. Touch yourself. Over your panties. I want them wet.” I heard a change in his breathing. Subtle. “I’m hard. Had to adjust my boxers. My cock's up toward my stomach where I can rub the underside. Feels good." He let out a little moan and I could easily imagine the little smile on his face.

"Take your cock out. I've got my hand over my pussy. Massaging myself. Warm. Panties are a little damp. I can tell I'm wet though. I can feel it."

"What's it like, Emma?"

"All the blood’s rushed between my legs. There's an ache, a throbbing, almost like I can feel my heart beating. An itch I need to scratch."

"My hand's around my cock. Slow strokes along the whole length. I flip my thumb over the tip every so often." His breath caught. "Hits the spot, you know the one, sends a jolt, like a shock through me. Feels even better when it's your tongue."

"Fuck. Your talking has me squirming. My hand is in my panties. My middle finger sliding from my clit to inside me. So slippery. How tight is your grip?"

"Tight. Not stroking my length anymore. Turned my hand around where my thumbs against the vein. Holding tight above the middle to the edge of the head. Feels good. Thinking about you touching your clit."

"Moving up and down, kind of slow. Tightening my muscles like you're inside me."

Words stopped, but it wasn't quiet.

Our breathing had synced up and there were these little catches, sighs, and soft moans.

"Faster and firmer now."

"Me too. I'm close."

I might not be able to see him, but I knew exactly what he looked like. His face, his body, were starting to tense.

"Feels good. Not as good as you touching me. Not even close."

"If I was there, I'd put my hand over yours. Feel how you like to be touched. So, I can match it. I'd kiss along your neck, taste you. My other hand, my fingers, barely touching your side, over your hip, across your thigh." The last word was interrupted.

" Em... fuck... yes..." Then a few seconds of silence followed by a long sigh.

"Where are you, baby?"

"Unhooked my bra. Nipples so tight."

"Perfect for me to suck on. I'd use my teeth. Run my hand up your inner thigh. Touching close. I can look down and see you touching yourself. God, how much I want to shove your hand away and taste you. Make you come."

"Oh fuck... Bastian." Everything tightened up then let go.

His voice was in my ear, "Turn your camera back on."

When I picked the phone up off my chest his face was already there. I hit the button and saw my face appear in the small rectangle. "Now you want to see me." I stretched with a contented sigh.

"I always want to see you after you come. The way your mouth is open and you lick your lips. Beautiful."

I rolled to my side, "What's an orgasm feel like for you?"

"Tonight. Mmm, for a while it just felt good. Like any touch, nothing special, except the where. Only more. Then it's like a switch. Goes from feels good to oh shit this is amazing. Starts where I’m touching and spreads down to my balls and lower stomach, base of my spine. It's like tightening a spring until it can't anymore and just let’s go."

"Is sex different? The orgasm."

"Oh yeah." His smile and eyes told me he drifted away a little. "I'll tell you all about it next time we have sex." Sebastian raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Similar. Like you said just feels good. More of a building for me though. Sometimes it's a slow steady increase. Other times like stair steps. I have to remind myself to relax or I clench my butt and thighs too much."

"I've noticed this. You start to rise off the bed and I have to hold you down." He was clearly enjoying the memory. "Does it change how it feels?"

I nodded, "Tightening up takes the focus away. Eventually, everything gets warm, tingly, and tightens up. Finally, it's like a wave breaking on the shore with muscle contractions."

"I feel those."

"I like the resistance of having something to hold onto." His eyes had questions. I had to search for a workable metaphor. "If you're sitting in a chair and lift your foot you can feel your thigh tighten, but if you're on a leg machine with weights you feel that muscle more."

Awareness hit him, "Really?" I nodded again. "I knew you liked, but I like knowing the why." He laughed, "I love these talks."

I joined in his laughter, "It is fun."

"Hang on a sec." He laid his phone next to him and I could hear him moving around.

"What are you doing?"

Sebastian picked his phone back up, "There was a mess to clean up."

It is so sexy that he told me this. The whole conversation is sexy. Lying in bed a thousand miles apart having a casual chat about a not at all casual topic is sexy as fuck.

"What did you use?" I was amused.

He looked at me with disbelief. Not sure if it was the question or that he was going to answer. "My underwear. They were nearby." He stood up and lifted the tie as he walked. "Can I get rid of this now?"

"Do I get to see your bare chest?"

"Do I get... ok well, there we go. Thank you."

I'd shifted my camera lower and flashed him naked breasts before he finished asking. I moved back to my face, "You're welcome."

He held his phone out where I could watch him free his arm and be shirtless. I made an appreciative noise and he asked, "Enjoying yourself?"

"I am." I hadn’t intended to lick my lips. "I'd like to lay by a pool with you. Or a beach."

"Easily arranged." He stretched out on the bed. "What haven't we done that you want to do?"

"In general, or sex."

He shrugged, "Sex is the topic. Tonight anyway."

"I want you to give me a full body massage that veers off track to a happy ending."

"That will be just as much fun for me." His face showed his interest. "I want you to tie me to the bed, blindfold me, and do whatever you want to me."

I sat up enough to take my bra off, giving him another peek "We're going to need a weekend locked in one of our bedrooms."

"My weekend is free. I think I have company coming Thursday."

"My departure time keeps creeping up to get to you sooner.”

He sang, "Oh what a lucky boy."

“Pretty soon I’ll get there before you, waiting on the floor outside your apartment.” I got hit with a memory, "We need to talk about your birthday. What do you want?"

"Well, that depends on how you feel about birthday sex? I like birthday sex. Not a deal-breaker, not my preference, but fun for a change."

He stretched out on the bed and stuck his phone to his leg. I could see chest up. I propped my head upon my hand and adjusted my phone. "I'm speaking from limited experience here." Sebastian tried very hard not to smile. He failed, but he tried. "You're such a man."

He stopped trying, "You're such a woman." His laughter was a wonderful sound.

"Less than good experience the first time because neither of us realized the amount of prep work required." He winced. I shrugged. "Next time I’d researched. I liked it, he didn't. He was too in his head, worried about being dirty. Then there's you. I knew what I was doing more in theory than practice."

"You should feel free to practice on me anytime you want." He cocked his head to the side. "You can come in and brush your teeth while I pee, but that's as far as I want to go there."

"Women have complete conversations while trading places in a bathroom."

"The group bathroom break cracks me up."

"We don't want to stop talking or want to talk about a cute guy in private."

"Mostly the last one." He wasn't wrong. "Oh..." he shook his head and pulled his eyebrows down, "not into period sex. But you've got an IUD. Do you even have a period?"

"Nope, happy side effect." Condoms eliminated the need for the birth control talk. "How do you know I have an IUD? Can you feel the strings?"

"My fingers are up there a lot."

I smirked, "You're dirty."

"About to be dirtier. Turn off your camera."

[sparklemichele]

Just Friends Pt 4

Florian Munteanu X Black Reader

Read past parts here.

Before you both could shut Chris’s, door close he was all over you. In a matter of minutes, you both were naked in Chris’s king size bed.  Chris took his time licking and sucking every inch of your beautiful brown body. He praised the color of your skin as his tongue and lips roamed your body. Chris had you squirming as his hot tongue flicked over your nipples and took each one in his mouth giving each of them attention.

“Oh Chris..” You moaned as he nipped your nipples.

“You like my tongue and mouth on your body?” Chris whispered in your ear as his right hand spread your legs apart. “Wait until you feel it on that sweet pussy of yours.” Chris lowered himself between your legs and instinctively you open them wider eager to receive what he was about to give you. You let out a loud moan as his tongue licked you from the bottom to your clit. Chris was amazing with his tongue and had you cumming on his face and beard within minutes. You were shaking as he made his way back to your lips. You tasted yourself on his lips and felt your juices drip from his beard.

“You taste so damn good. I want to know how you will feel around my dick.” You spread your legs wanting him to find out. Chris did not hesitate lining himself up to you and driving in. You cried out his name as your body adjusted to his size.

“Fuck!” Chris moaned as he began to thrust in you. Chris took his time as he wanted to feel all of you. “I just knew you would feel spectacular.”

You wrapped your legs around him and tighten your walls. You had Chris moaning and cursing as he fucked you and your moans and groans danced right along with his. Within minutes you were on the verge of an orgasm. Chris felt you pulsating around his cock.

“You going to cum for me?”

You shook your head yes as you could not form words. As Chris continued to thrust into you the wave of your impending orgasm seized your body. You screamed Chris’s name as your body shook.

“That’s my baby. Call out my name.” Chris hasten his pace chasing his own orgasm and within seconds he spilled his seed in you as his eyes rolled in the back of his head. You grabbed him tight as his weight fell on you after he shook with his orgasm. Chris rolled over holding you in his arm. You found your fingers playing in his beard.

“You were amazing.” He whispered. You nuzzled in his neck, kissed it and kept your head in the crook of his neck as you drifted off into a blissful sleep.

Weeks pass with constant texts and calls from Flo. He must have really been pissed seeing you and Chris in the restaurant. As his voicemails sounded angry and sometimes hurtful. He said he just wanted to talk to you.  It was for the best that you didn’t speak to him right now cause you and Chris relationship was in a special place.  Chris made you feel absolutely special. So special that he surprised you with a vacation to the Bahamas. The man was everything you wanted.

As you laid beside Chris in the cabana you notice a notification from Flo’s Insta which reminded you that you needed to stop notifications of his posts. He posted a shirtless pic and your body could not help to react. You hated that you could not continue a friendship in a civil manner. This was his fault.

“Asshole.” You said under your breath. Chris knew exactly who you were talking about.

“You need to call and talk to him.” Chris pointed out to you.

“I know.” You sighed as you put the phone down next to the small table in your cabana. “He can be exhausting, and I am just not in the mood.

“You need to set boundaries. Do I need to have a conversation with him?”

Your eyes widen as you could imagine the fiasco that would turn out to be. Who knows how Flo would react to Chris.

“No, I got it. I’ll take care of it.” You grabbed your phone off the table. “Let’s take a selfie.” Chris scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. You both smile for the selfie. You guys looked great together. You posted to Instagram and tagged your man. Within seconds Flo liked the photo. You frowned. What games was he playing? You put the phone back on the table and turned your attention to Chris. You needed to get Flo off your mind. You leaned in and kissed Chris. As Chris deepened the kiss Flo left your mind.

______________________________________________________________ 

After a few days back home, you decided you needed to settle things with Florian. You texted him asking if he was home. When he replied he was you texted back and told him you were on your way. Flo answered the door shirtless and you cursed him under your breath.

“Were you ever going to tell me about him?” That was the first thing he said to you as he let you in his apartment.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I felt it wasn’t your business who I date.”

“What?! We talk about everything Y/N.”

“It’s not the same between us Flo and you know it.”

“What do you mean?” He asked truly confused. His face softens as he moved closer to you and put his arm around your waist.

“Flo don’t you know what happen last time.”

“Oh, when I almost made you cum if you didn’t stop me.” Flo caressed your lips with his thumb.

“Flo don’t. I’m with Chris.” You tried to pull away. His arm tightens around your waist.

Your head was screaming to stop but your whole body was telling you to stay. Florian picked you up and you wrapped your legs around him as he walked to his bedroom.

“I don’t give a fuck about Chris. It’s Big Nasty time now. You are mine and had always been mine. You just kept denying it. No more Y/N!” He growled before tossing you on his bed. Flo intensely stared down at you before he demanded you take off your clothes.  All your resolve flew out the window as you found yourself undressing under Flo’s gorgeous gaze.

“Damn.” Flo moaned as he gazed at your body. He pulled his shorts down and stood in front of you naked. Your eyes immediately found his hard cock standing at attention. You gasped. You could not help but compare him to Chris. They were about the same length, but Flo was thicker. Could you handle him? Flo crawled on top of you and captured your lips. Flo propped himself up by his right elbow as his left hand explored your body as you kissed passionately. His fingers found its way between your legs. He slowly inserted two fingers.

“Damn you already wet and ready for me.” He whispered against your lips. “You ready for me

bebelus? (Baby) I think I might make you wait like you made me wait all this time.”

You groaned in disappointment as you shivered under him with anticipation. Flo deliberately took his time exploring every inch of your body. His tongue left no skin on your body untouched.

“Flo please.” You begged as he settled between your legs.

“Please what frumos?” (Beautiful) He teased as he nipped your inner thigh. You could feel him smiling against your thigh as he was enjoying making you wait.

“Stop playing and fuck me.” You almost shouted at him in frustration. A deep chuckle fell from Flo’s lips just before his tongue grazed over your clit. Your body buckled, and you grabbed his head as he ate you out with such expertise you actually squirted in his face when you came. Flo licked up every drop before crawling back over your body. He watched you as your orgasm subsided. You looked in his hazel eyes and nearly came again at the way he was looking at you with such lust.

“Are you ready for me?”

“Yes!” You gasped.

Flo drove into you not giving you time to adjust to his large size and you didn’t care as you clawed at his massive back. He started fucking you just the way you wanted. Your body was so raw and awake as he drove into you. He felt so good and you cursed at yourself for refusing him for so long. Even if he would never be monogamous the way he was making you feel right now you didn’t give any fucks.  

“I can’t believe you denied me this pussy for so long. It’s so damn good.” Flo growled in your ear as his thrusts quicken. You found yourself grabbing his ass pushing him deeper.

“Deeper.” You moaned as your body pulsated under him. Following your directions Flo took both your legs and put them on his broad shoulders and fucked you harder. Tears welled in your eyes as he felt so good. You knew at that moment that Flo had you and you would never be able to resist him again.

“Tell me your mine.” Flo demanded as his cock hit your cervix. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you yelled you were his.

“Damn right! You will always belong to me.” At his words claiming you as his you came so hard your body constricted and your walls tighten around him so hard your pussy almost pushed him out. As you came Flo did not stop fucking you.

“That’s it bebelus. Come hard for daddy.” Flo removed your legs from his shoulders and lifted your hips as his orgasm gripped his body. He let out a loud feral growl and shuddered as he came deep inside you.  

“Fuck!” he moaned as he collapsed on you. He almost knocked the wind out of you he was so heavy. He was still inside you and you felt he was still hard.

“Flo?” You whispered in his ear as you caressed his head.

“Hmm?”

“Your still hard?”

“Oh, did you think I was done with you?” He lifted up placing his forehead against yours. “I want you from behind.”

“You can have me any way you want me.” You told him anticipating a long night. After Flo fucked you in every position possible you fell asleep in his arms as he held you tight.

_______________________________________________________________ 

The next morning while you were sleep Flo snapped a picture of you and put it on IG with a heart emoji. You woke up to him kissing your cheeks and lips. As last night memories rushed in your head you jumped up as guilt riddled your body.

“Don’t go.” He whispered his voice rough with sleep.

Your attention turned to your phone with a text from Shawnee.

 What the fuck! Check Flo’s Insta.

 What did he do now? Your heart pounded as you checked his Insta and saw the picture of you laying on your stomach with his massive arm draped on your back. You could instantly tell who you were do to your side profile and rose tattoo on your right shoulder. Your body began to shake with anger as you turned around and slapped Flo. He didn’t flinch as he knew you would be angry at what he did. He figured you would get over it as last night it was obvious you belonged with him.

“Why would you do that?! You never post women on your Gram! You malicious fuck! You did this to spite Chris!” You were screaming as tears spread down your cheeks.

“We fucked, and he needs to know.” Flo said matter of factly not giving any fucks.

“That was not up to you. That was on me. Delete the post Flo or I swear this will be the last you ever see of me.” You were fuming as you got up to go to Chris for damage control. You stood naked as you watch Flo delete the post. You knew his efforts was fruitless because once something is on the internet it stays on the internet. You started to get dress as Flo crawled out the bed. You shook at the memories of last night rushed through your head.

“You belong with me.”

“Flo you can’t stay with one woman for more than a few days and you just ruined my relationship with a man who was staying monogamous to me. If you were my friend, you would have not done that!” You averted your eyes from him getting hard. How can he get hard at a time like this?

“You are the one who cheated on him.” OMG You were going to kill him!

“Yes, I did, and I would have handled it on my own terms. Last night was a mistake and you know it.”

“Like hell it was. I love you.” He finally confessed as he took you in his arms. You pushed away.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I always loved you Y/N. I was just being an ass and not reacting on my feelings. I was scared.”

Your face softens at his confession. You did not know what to say. This was what you were waiting so long for him to confess to you.

“I have to go.” You told him. You did not know what you were going to do. You were in a love triangle and you were lost.

“Don’t leave Y/N.”

“Flo I have too.”

“You going straight to him?”

“I have to fix the mess you made.”

“You still smell of me.”

Fuck he was right. You had to take the chance. You needed to see Chris. You quickly made your way to the door to leave but Flo blocked you.

“You need to break up with him.”

“I can’t talk about this now Flo. Please let me go.”

Flo stared you down for a few moments before opening the door for you to leave.

______________________________________________________________ 

You rung Chris doorbell and you knew instantly he saw the picture. He stood aside to let you in his house.

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could say.

“You fucked him. You smell like sex.”

Dammit!

“I’m so sorry Chris.”

Chris punched a hole in the wall. You jumped at his reaction. He walked over to you and grabbed your face in his hands.

“Why Y/N? Why?! I was falling in love with you.”

You burst out crying. You were a horrible person. “I’m so sorry Chris. It just happened.”

“I just knew you were the one for me.” Tears sprung to Chris’s eyes.

You couldn’t take the pain you both were feeling and rushed out the door. Chris did not come after you. You cried all the way home angry with yourself.

 _____________________________________________________________ 

Your phone was blowing up from calls from Chris and Flo. You could not take either call. You were not ready to speak to Chris as you were still beating yourself up for cheating on him. If he was calling to forgive you or make amends you were not ready as you still could not forgive yourself. As for Florian you needed to stay away from him at the moment as your body still craved him. You received a notification reminding you of your next nutrition appointment and you noticed while looking over your calendar your period was about three weeks late. How can you miss that? Because of the Flo and Chris situation you got yourself into. Your mind had been preoccupied. Shit! Your mind raced a million miles a minute as you drove to the nearest drug store. You brought several different tests not knowing which was better. You wanted to make sure. You peed on the first stick and it showed two lines. According to the box that meant it was positive. You were pregnant. That can’t be right your mind told you. You grabbed a different brand and squeezed out enough pee to see the plus sign confirming you were pregnant. You burst into tears as your body fell against the tub. You sat there on the floor in disbelief as tears streamed down your face. You were pregnant, and you had no idea who was the father as you slept with both Flo and Chris in the same week. What were you going to do? Your body shook as you sobbed. Your phone started to ring and with as much energy as you could muster you wiped your tears away, got up and looked at your phone on the bathroom counter. It was Chris. You stood staring at the phone as it rung. Immediately after it stopped you received a call from Flo.

“Fuck!” You screamed as new tears sprung to your eyes. You were fucked.

Finito

______________________________________________________________

@mimigemrose @warmchick @readsalot73 @captstefanbrandt @titty-teetee @emmysrandomthoughts @eyesof-mine @poe-slittleraven13 @ml0103 @mitchcheckmyprofile @jojolu @curvynsweet @superestrella9 @designerwriterchic @doloreschanal @young-ugly-god @groovyzombiellama @msdmc1 @nys30 @amethyst09 @endless00paradise @mypurpose13 @regular-biitch @melinda-january @im-that-one-gurl @shaelyn102 @michelleteriney @bienvenisco @fumbling-fanfics @jbrizzywrites @jnk-812 @insanityismymiddlename0869 @chaneajoyyy @ateliefloresdaprimavera @sdcyumyum @profoundlynerdywolf @tgigoldie @heyauntieeee @ljstraightnochaser @imgoldielikehawn @laketaj24 @mellowjellow6 @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife @earthsmightiestasses @theunsweetenedtruth @joanalabruja90 @itshinothey

[mooleche]

A Story of Ink and Venom - Chap. 5

A/N - Someone wicked this way comes! Some new revelations revealed and Nina is tasked with an important request after some distressing news! There are some french translations in here that I’m not quite sure how to post on here so if you’re curious to know what they say I can make a separate post to explain what they translate to! As always I hope you enjoy and if you’d like to be tossed onto the notifications list lemme know! 

Tagged - @leo-writer @master-sass-blast

Chapter 5: Preparation

I dreamt of blood.

Of tendons snapping and muscle being torn in two.

Heard the inescapable screams of terror in a void of nightmares that had me tossing and turning all night.

Then I saw them again. Those milky white eyes that narrowed as they set their sights on me, soon replaced by a gaping maw full of jagged teeth that were ready to tear into my skin like it was paper.

Then I woke with a small, terrified gasp. 

It was just a nightmare. This is what I had to tell myself as I stared at the ceiling and tried to calm my racing thoughts. My heart continued to pound and my clothes were damp with sweat from my troubled sleep. But the longer I laid there the more aware I became of my surroundings. A soft melody weaved in and out of my hearing and the hues of blue and pink of our hanging lights danced in my blurred vision. It was noticing this that I was finally able to release a sigh of relief as I was able to remind myself of two important things:

I was home. And I was safe. 

Beside me, the bed creaked and I turned my head to find Ava sitting cross-legged by my curtained window, hand over her mouth in serious concentration as she stared at her laptop screen. I made the effort to sit up and felt my entire body seize up with pain.

“Ah, she awakens,” her husky morning voice announced beside me as a groan of pain escaped me. I struggled to make the minimal effort to turn to her, only to be met with her hand that held my glasses and a bottle that she rattled at me.

“Drink up, Princesa. You’re gonna need these for the day ahead,”

“You’re a lifesaver,” I murmured as I accepted and downed them graciously. They could have been horse tranquilizers and I wouldn’t have cared, the pain that my body felt as I sat up had me almost wishing I was still facing those nightmares. Just the brief thought of reliving them made my stomach churn though, and I quickly tried to ignore it and press through the pain instead. 

I slumped over on Ava’s shoulder and sighed, a small chuckle escaping her as she carefully moved a piece of hair away from my face.

“Surprised you’re even awake right now, you outdrank all of us,” she teased as I held my head, now fully feeling the effects of my terribly thought out decisions last night. That was right, we had drunk last night to calm our nerves. Despite being desperate to escape the conversation we spent almost all night talking about it. Ava and Benni assured me the news hadn’t caught wind of my participation that they were aware of, only that there had been no bodies at the scene. 

That alone left me both relieved and terrified for Spiderman and whatever remains were of Deadpool.

If there were any at all.

I shook my head sluggishly to rid myself of the thought before looking to Bambi and Benni who were haphazardly sprawled along Bam’s bed, still very much unconscious.

“Why are you awake?” I asked Ava groggily, taking every motion delicately as the room continued to spin. 

She raised a brow at me and smirked.

“You think a little booze is going to cause me to break schedule? Pfft, I’m Latina, bebita. But also,” she added, pointing to the floor and frowning, “You really need to answer that thing. It’s been going off since 7.”

I went to ask her what she meant but then I heard it. The low rumble of my phone vibrating against the carpet. At that moment my hangover was completely disregarded and pain tossed aside as I slid to the ground and fished for it desperately. Ava watched me, perched from above, curiosity now wrinkling her brows as I found the source to the buzzing and curled into a ball to suppress the pain. 

All I could muster was a soft ‘oh no’ when I saw what was on the lock screen. 

Ava inched closer to me to try and sneak a peek as I continued to stare, not daring to unlock it to see what fresh hell was waiting for me inside. "What's going on?"

A soft 'oh' left her lips as I showed her. A handful of messages and mixed calls littered the screen, the fear you only felt when you missed 10 calls from your mother when you were a teen hitting my core as I swiped it open.

Only this fear was brought by missing the calls of my mother, father, AND Renato.

I swallowed hard and scanned the messages. All worried, all sent at various times during the night and this morning:

‘Honey, we just saw the news. Are you alright?’ ‘You’re not picking up. Did something happen?’ ‘We’re very worried. Pls respond!’ - Mom

*‘Mon chéri? Nous sommes inquiets pour vous’ ‘Appelez s'il vous plaît’ - Dad

‘Are you home? -R’ ‘Nina? -R’  ‘Look. I know you’re still recovering from last night but something has happened. Come to the lab ASAP. -R’ ‘Again, it’s URGENT. -R’ ‘Also, call your parents. -R’ - Renato

My gut twisted further with guilt as I read various texts from them all, but the last few from Renato worried me the most. It was sent almost half an hour ago and my imagination was going in every direction it could with what could have happened.

He rarely sent texts out to people, even when it was an emergency. What if something happened to him? What if that thing came back for it’s missing piece? What if it pulled an Alien and created a Chest Burster inside of him?? 

I had to go and see what was going on. 

I uncurled myself from my position before releasing a groan of discomfort, moving from one awkward position to another as I attempted to summon the strength to get up. It didn't work. Lying half off the bed beside me Bambi began to stir.

“Nina? What’s going on?” she yawned, rubbing her eyes as she unshifted from her own awkward position to sit up and watch my staggered efforts. Benni gave a soft snore next to her but remained still. I was fully convinced that we could have dropped a bomb on the city and she’d have stayed asleep during it.

“I have to go to the Professor’s office. Something's wrong,” I winced, finally finding my footing and attempting to poorly stretch to try and subdue the pain. While it didn't do much to help with it, it did help me understand where the source was. I tenderly touched my side only to recoil back as the shock of pain it sent. It was almost exactly where I had landed after the creature had flung me, bringing a series of uncomfortable pictures to my head before I could shake them away.

“What?!” Both Ava and Bambi asked in unison at my announcement, watching me shuffle awkwardly to my wardrobe that had seen better days. Bambi was now wide awake at this point and stood to meet me, a heavy frown set on her once pouty lips.

“Please tell me you’re not going, especially after last night-”

“Last night is just as much my issue as it is Renato’s, Bam. Who knows, maybe he just found out something interesting about that gunk,” I tried to reassure both her and myself as I began to rummage through my clothes. We were assigned two wardrobe closets to a dorm at the beginning of the year and expected to fit all of our belongings inside. While Bambi had somehow made hers always look presentable. Mine was everything but, and I now struggled as I attempted to rip a cute yellow hoodie with ‘Good Vibes’ written in a cute font across the front out of its clutches for the day ahead.

I succeeded, only to fall back and have a mess of clothes topple onto me in the aftermath. Both Ava and Bambi shared a look of worry before Bambi knelt down to help me.

“I just...think it’s kind of bullshit he’s calling you in after everything. Especially with that,” she added as she pointed to my midriff, shirt now raised some to reveal a nasty looking bruise that had formed overnight. Underneath lurked a nastier looking scar from past events that I quickly hid and looked away, suddenly very aware of my flaws.

“Bambi, *déjalo!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” I managed quickly, not wanting to mention it any more than it already had been. Like a monkey's paw suddenly sensing my wish to change the subject we all turned to my phone that had begun to vibrate again. Ava, the closest to it, studied the notification before her hazel eyes grew wide. “What is it?” I asked hesitantly as she stood and quickly closed the distance between us, holding my phone at arm's length like it was a bomb.

When I saw who was calling it might as well have been.

It was my father.

“Oh no, no. Can't you just like...I don’t know, tell him I’m sleeping??” I asked desperately, a snort erupting from her as she held it closer, holding me captive against the wall now.

“You really think I’m gonna pull off lying to your dad? Get real,” she hissed back while swiping over the green telephone emote to accept the call. I pursed my lips angrily in response, knowing she had me at a stalemate before I accepted the phone in defeat.  "Ante up, bebita, you're on." she mouthed quietly as she and Bambi stood nearby quietly to listen. Even Benni's once peaceful snores were gone from the room as I prepared to completely BS my way through this conversation.

“Bonjour Papa!” I chimed into the receiver, knowing full well the I had just stepped into the lion’s den and had to be very careful about what was said. My father was as smart as he was strong, and the man had won a plethora of heavyweight titles before he retired. I had to be smart about where the conversation would go.

“Nina,” he started, dad tone already in full swing behind his heavy french accent. “We’ve been trying to get ahold of you all morning, *est-ce que tu vas bien? We saw the news and-”

“Oh right, the news.” I interrupted, clicking my tongue with thought as Bambi and Ava watched with wide eyes. I ignored them as I continued to search for the rest of my outfit in the mess I had created. “Wild stuff, right?”

“You didn’t get involved, did you?” he asked point-blank, my insides squirming as I pretended to scoff at his words.

“Me? Get involved? C’mon dad, *Avoir une certaine foi!” I grunted while struggling into a pair of leggings. He grunted back in response.

“I just worry, mon petite. Because reports say that a small mystery hero came in at the last second,”

“You don’t say,” I asked softly, hoodie stopped half over my body at these words. I wanted to curse. Sure, the news hadn't been able to record anything of my failed attempt at heroism, but I hadn't even thought about bystanders that might have seen.

“Oui, and she seemed to be wielding a hammer. A big black hammer that fell apart right after using it,” he pressed, my nerves getting the best of me as I scrambled to find proper words to say. “You sure you weren’t there?”

“Of course not." I started, tugging at my hair nervously as I began to feel myself ramble. "I-I was studying with the girls during the lock-in! Do you know how many superheroes are in New York? In Brooklynn for that matter? Do you really think I’d be dumb enough to take on that thing? Hah! Hah! You’re so funny, papa. Oh? What’s that? My phone is dying and I need to leave? What a very strange coincidence!” I laughed a little too loud into the phone, walking nervous circles in the room as Ava and Bambi watched with embarrassed stares.

“Nina-”

“I really gotta go, I did nothing wrong, ever!” I answered hastily before hanging up, pulling my hood over my face to hide from the heavy looks the girls were giving me. “Please, no commentary.”

“Smooth,” Ava whispered dryly as I shrugged and tossed my hands up in the air, immediately racked with another bout of pain. I struggled to shrug it off, instead focusing my attention on gathering my belongings to leave for the day. As I went to grab my bag I stopped, sheets of my old weapon schematics poking through that brought me back to the day before. I shook my head of the invasive thoughts wanting to pry through and removed them, knowing I had no business trying to use any of them anymore.

Behind me, Bambi took a seat on my bed and tugged at her sleeves nervously.

“You’re really not going to tell them?” she asked softly. The question made me stop abruptly and turn to her, disbelief in my eyes. 

“Do you want to explain to them how they almost lost their only child while she was out playing hero?” I shot back quickly. I knew she meant well, and I knew that this would most likely end up biting me in the ass at a later time. But I also had to keep this a secret from them until it was all figured out, there'd be no point otherwise.

Especially if it meant putting them in danger.

“That’s...fair,” she agreed quietly after a moment of silence, Ava joining her side on my bed as they watched me scramble to shove my clothes back in my wardrobe. “Do...you want some company with Renato?” she offered, but I could see the fear in her eyes of having to face that moment again. Of having to go back to the labs and seeing what could possibly be another nightmare waiting. She had suffered just as much as I did and I didn't want to force her through it again if she wasn't ready.

Instead, I shook my head and feigned a smile.

“It’s fine, I’m going to Renato’s and then straight to Drawing 2 after. I’ll pick up your SD card for you while I’m there though, yeah?”

She looked relieved at this and nodded. “You’re a lifesaver, Neeners.”

“I know it,” I teased before grabbing my helmet and sauntering out of the door. Before I could leave fully my phone went off. Inside a simple text from Benni read ‘Be careful!’, but when I looked to the bed she was still as motionless as ever and dead to the world.

How did she do that?

“Aye, keep us posted!” Ava shouted through the door as I left, a soft sigh of relief escaping my lips as I headed outside. Truth be told it was a bit of a relief to be away from them. All the worried looks, the fear we had all felt hanging like a miasma in the room. I needed to get away from it all, to escape briefly so I could think.

Outside storm clouds loomed above, threatening to release hell down on the city at any moment. I hurried to Queen and took off before I was the unlucky duckling to have to experience it and, to my surprise, the street that had once looked like a warzone the night before was now pristine. Even the dark stain I had been haunted by on the way home was nothing more than normal black asphalt now. As much as people complained about where our tax dollars were going I had to give it to the city restoration committee for always being on point. They made it look like nothing had ever happened and, for a brief moment, I believed that.

Before I could enjoy the momentary peace of mind I was given I was already at work. My hands gripped my key card tight as I hurried to the door, trying to brace myself for whatever might be waiting for me inside. Instead, the door opened as I went to swipe and Barry stared at me, eyes wide with surprise as he saw my face.

“Miss Knight? What in the world are you doing here?” 

“I wish I knew. The professor called me in,” I explained shortly before scooting past him to sail down the stairs. I stopped abruptly at the last step, hearing the harsh tone of Renato’s ring through the air. I had never heard him so angry, not even when I once accidentally almost broke Levi's aquarium by playing with one of my ink balls in the lab.

Another voice, a strangely familiar voice this time, now spoke in a deep yet desperate tone.

“Darwin please, we may have had our differences before but this...this could very well save lives!”

“I’m not going to tell you again. This is a dangerous subject and it has no place in the medical field. Leave the premises or I will be calling the police. And don’t you ever, ever use that name again.” he growled. My surprise and curiosity were through the roof at this point. Who could strike so much anger in such a simple man that would lead him to talk like this?

I had to know.

“Knock, knock.” I chimed softly through the sliding doors, as if I hadn't just been eavesdropping just moments earlier. My eyes immediately fell on the stranger causing the ruckus and I couldn’t help but manage a small gasp at who I saw. It was the janitor from last night, the man that had sent chills down my spine with just a simple question. “A-am I interrupting something?” I stammered, trying to keep my composure as his gaunt appearance glared at me before looking back to Renato.

“I was just leaving. I hope you sleep well at night knowing you work for a monster,”

“Well, I’m in college, so your first mistake was thinking I sleep at all,” I responded a little too sarcastically, a small grim chuckle leaving the man’s throat as he knocked shoulders with me on his way out. His demeanor had changed completely from the man I had seen just moments ago, once slumped shoulders now broad, all frailty from him diminished as he turned to face Renato once more with a dark stare.

“It was nice seeing you again after all these years, Professor. Remember, I did try to play nice,” he called before exiting the lab, leaving a heavy silence in his wake. I blinked in surprise, unsure if I had just been tricked into seeing two different people or if that man was just that good at changing his personality. 

I turned to Renato who's brows were furrowed and was staring angrily at nothing in particular before I attempted to break the ice.

“So, who’s your friend?” I asked carefully, watching his eyes flicker up to me and narrow at the assumption.

“Never friends. We were hardly even colleagues,” he muttered as he began pacing, running his hands through his once neatly ponytailed dreads. They now fell over his face and shoulders as he stood hunched over his desk, fuming. “I knew something was off about that man, why didn’t I see it sooner?” he whispered to himself, fully immersed in the conversation in his head.

“Uh, what?”

“How could I have so foolish? Of course, I was being watched...how could I have known he would go to this level though? Stupid..."

"Renato?"

"If he gets his hands on this...dammit!” he hissed before slamming his fist on the desk angrily. I flinched at the action before snapping my fingers at him.

“Hey! Earth to Renato, bring it back down to Earth!” I called, watching him snap from whatever stupor he had previously been in. Looking up close at him now he looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept at all. Under his lab coat, I saw now that he was wearing the same clothes he had worn when I left last night and it finally clicked. “Did you stay here all night?”

“I...well, yes,” he admitted sheepishly before he took to rubbing his chin, looking at nothing in particular like he was deep in thought. We stood in silence for a few moments before I touched his shoulder, confusion rapidly growing in my head that I was desperate to get explained.

“Hey, are you going to explain what’s going on or…?”

He seemed to slip back into the moment and sighed, pulling off his glasses to clean them anxiously. “Right. Sorry. I was hoping to give you a day to rest but...something happened.”

“So you said in the text. What is it?” I asked suspiciously, fear creeping into my voice before I could stop it. He took a large sigh before pressing his palms together and directing them at me with somber eyes.

“You have to promise that you’ll let me explain before you get upset,” he started, looking down at me with a gaze that turned serious within a few seconds. My stomach gave a quick twist of fear at this. It was suddenly very apparent that whatever that substance he had was no longer within sight, which made my thoughts run wild with worry.

“What did you do, Renato?” I asked gravely, watching him hesitate before starting towards the fish tank. My gaze hardened as I noticed it was now covered with a dark sheet, a sheet that he now removed to reveal a lazily wandering Leviathan in the water. I released a sigh of relief, a piece of me fearing the worst for the little crustacean. 

That was before it turned its sights on me at least.

It was like I had been tossed into a sci-fi horror flick. Its skin went from its usual beautiful maroon to a horrific pitch black, it’s size growing into something grotesque before he began to slam against the glass. Renato steadied the tank before tossing the sheet over it once more and it's furious attempts to leave grew silent. I stood in terrified silence trying to process what I just saw, hands quivering at my sides as Renato turned back to me and managed a weak unsure shrug.

“What, pray tell, the everloving fuck was that?” I finally managed to whisper as he started back towards me, hands shoved deep in his lab pockets as he seemed to ponder what to say to me. I took a step back from him, my gut suddenly unsure of how I felt about being around him. His gaze looked hurt at this but he kept his distance as if nervous I would run if he got too close.

“I suppose I deserve that…” he whispered before I scoffed, tossing my arms up in the air with a sarcastic laugh.

“You suppose? That guy was right, you're a damn monster!"

“Nina please, your language-”

“Do not start with me over that,” I snapped, folding my arms, ready to hear what excuse he had ready for what I had just seen. "Explain. What the fuck happened when I left?”

He sighed and nodded softly, giving up on arguing.

“Right. So, you left, and I had been engrossed in researching this creature. It’s quite a find, Nina, it’s DNA is incredible. So incredible in fact that I found it had regenerating cells and I…” he trailed, taking his glasses to fiddle with them as he spoke. “I saw a window for experimentation and I took it.”

“On Levi? But why? You know what that thing can do!” I protested, his features dark with thought.

“I know, trust me, I know. I thought...maybe a smaller dose wouldn’t have the effects of its original host, that maybe it could reverse his health,” he admitted, a look of weariness taking over him. “It did do that but it also turned him into what you just witnessed.”

“And how does your friend tie into this?” I asked grimly, nodding towards the door. He scowled at my use of friend but sighed wearily.

“As I said, he’s an old colleague...from a different time. Back...when I worked for the government,” he explained quietly. 

I blinked in shock. 

“You did what for the who now?”

“I was a scientist for a special research program briefly after college with the close colleague of mine I've mentioned, along with the man you saw earlier. He went by Oliver Phobus, though I’m not sure if he still goes by that name…” he trailed as if thinking hard into the past.

I couldn't believe he wasn't sharing this information with me. I could barely get him to reveal what his favorite juice was on store runs half the time much less a look into his past like this. I decided to press my luck and prod further.

"Why is that?"

“Oliver was, well, is a desperate man. His forte used to be finding cures to uncommon diseases, often taking devious measures to get to his answers if it meant a breakthrough.”

“Such as?” I pressed, curiosity growing by the second. He pursed his lips before continuing, a look of discomfort falling over him as if not wanting to answer.

“He did many experiments on...people...terrible things,” he whispered, my mouth growing dry at his words. His eyes grew dark at the mention of it, like he was reliving the experience as he spoke. “As soon as we found out we made sure he was removed from the program, but soon after he and his family left without a trace on where to find him. And then today…” he sighed, fist resting on his chin as he recounted what happened. “Today I was trying to take a sample from Levi and he came in and saw. He saw what Leviathan had become and I know he’s going to come back for him.”

“You think he’s going to come back? You told him you were going to call the cops!” I reasoned, a grim chuckle erupting from him as he stood once more and started organizing things from his desk. 

“You underestimate the level of desperation he’s at,” he answered shortly before hunching over his laptop, body stiff as he began to clack away at the keyboard. I shifted nervously, still trying to process all the new information given to me. Renato called him a desperate man but didn’t he just commit his own messed up experiment in the name of science? But also to hear he experimented on people, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. That strange smile he presented to me the night before now seemed all the more devious and caused a shiver to run down my spine at the thought of it. Renato at least seemed ashamed of what he did.

Phobus just seemed like a mad man on a mission.

“So...what will you do now?” I asked softly, my gaze traveling back to the tank that stood silent now despite the uproar that had just happened. Just remembering the glimpse of black tendrils slithering out and the sheer anger it seemed to have when it saw me...it made me not even want to be in the room.

Renato sighed as he turned back to me and folded his arms.

“This is where it gets tricky,�� he began, frown settled deeply on his lips at what he was about to say. “My work, Levi specifically, can’t stay here any longer. I’ll be alerting the proper authorities of what’s transpired but I need to get him somewhere safe before I do so. Can't exactly have them seeing what he's become without it turning into a worse situation than it already is,"

“Fair enough,”

“What I need from you is just to stay here and keep guard while I travel home to get the proper equipment to take him to my colleague's residency. There we can do some proper testing, maybe see if we can reverse this-”

“You want me to do what?” I asked incredulously. Above us, a warning of thunder rolled past, a feeling of unease taking hold of my gut at his request. Here he was, dropping a complete bombshell on me and expected me to just roll with it like it was no big deal? I shook my head and held my hands up in disagreement. “Professor…”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t desperate, Nina. You're one of the only people I trust with this,” he admitted, placing a hand on my shoulder with a look of sheer exhaustion. “I know you’re unhappy with me right now. I know I made a bad decision, but I can’t let him have this. He’s a dangerous man and I don’t know what he’ll do with the information or what could happen if-,”

“If he gets ahold of this, right,” I sighed, not wanting him to finish the terrifying thought that Levi could very well transform into some terrible if given the chance. Or even something worse happening if someone was able to manipulate that DNA. Inside every fiber of my being protested this request, but deep down I also knew all too well that sometimes you had to make the hard decisions that you really didn’t want to. I just wished it wasn’t me in this scenario, especially after the first time had already gone so wrong.

Renato was desperate by his standards though, and he had stuck his neck out for me so many times in the past year that I lost count. It was only fair I repay him for it.  

I just hoped it wouldn't bite me in the ass later.

“Alright, I will watch Levi until you can make it back. I have a class soon but I can skip if you need me to-”

“Not necessary. I’m already in enough hot water, I don’t need your parents blaming me for you missing class,” he joked softly before his demeanor changed. “You did talk to them last night, didn't you?”

“Define talk and last night,” I smiled sheepishly before laughing nervously at his sour appearance. “Relax, we spoke briefly this morning. They know nothing so I’d like to keep it that way,” I admitted before glancing at the clock and frowning. “Shoot. I’ve gotta head out but I’ll be back at around 6, is that too late?”

“6 is perfect. I’ll have everything ready for when you return so we can make this quick,” he added before pausing and looking at me with a soft frown. “Are you sure you’re up for this? You can say no, especially after everything that’s happened last night.”

“I’ve already made my decision, haven’t I? What’s the worst that can happen anyway? It’s just some science nerd that probably won’t even show up tonight, right?” I joked, trying to hide my own fear by making light of the situation. Renato gave me a weary smile before heading to his desk to get to work, brows creased with uncertainty at my words.

“I suppose you’re right, I'm probably just being careful about this. Just...be ready, we’ll discuss more when you return,” he concluded, setting us on our separate ways until the big night ahead.

Despite him trying to be reassuring about it a part of me knew that it wasn't going to be that easy.

Things were never that easy.

[shinfinitexo-genius]

One year ago today, I woke up pretty late in the morning (around 11am) and was going through my phone while I laying was in bed. I was going through all of my notifications, opened a dm on ig from my friend. I think she called me one or twice that morning as well. 

My friend told me that she was there for me if I wanted to talk to her. I asked her why and what was going on. She asked me that it was about jonghyun. Before that instance, when she messaged me something like that, it was related to exo and infinite when the former members left their respective groups. I thought that it was something like that, but my gut was saying otherwise. I got up immediately after reading her response and checked twitter. It was the one thing that was on my feed. 

“SM Ent confirms that SHINee’s Jonghyun Has Passed Away” 

The names and words that I had never expected to read anytime soon. It took me a few seconds of reading that headline over and over in my head and whispering softly to myself before tears came. I stayed in my room for the next hour or so sobbing to myself over the phone with my friend. I was so shocked at the news that I could barely speak. 

That day was the worst for me cause my family forced me to come shopping with them to the mall and you know that I did not want to do that. I was in so much pain during the day and just wanted to stay in my bed all day. I was “moody” according to my parents and kept questioning and my older sister knew what happened, but wanted me to stay calm and everything. 

I wanted to tell them what happened, but was scared about what they said. Let’s just say that the next week for me was complete hell. I tried to stay distracted and it worked from time to time, but Jonghyun came back to my mind. 

I haven’t been that same since that day. I’ve always felt some sort of emptiness inside of me. I knew that part of my heart left when Jonghyun left. How could I say goodbye to one of the first five men that I gave my heart to? Till this day, I haven’t read his letter. Though I know some of the contents from his letter due to seeing posts on social media, I know I won’t be able to handle it. I will read it when the time comes. 

But one thing I can say to my fellow Shawols and everyone who loves and misses him is that we shouldn’t be saying good bye to him, but rather see you later. We will see him soon even though it may take sometime. Though we might not be able to see his face, I look up every night when I have the chance and smile at the moon because I know he is looking out for us. Each and everyone of us. 

I love you so much Kim Jonghyun. I am sorry that I was unable to meet you and watch you perform your songs and with SHINee. I am sorry that I was unable to hold your hand or smile at you during a fansign. There are so many things that I regret. 

But, one thing I will never regret is loving you, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you for being a part of SHINee and most importantly, for working so hard. You did so well. 

[frisbee-camp]

Let Me Help

AO3 Link//Wattpad Link

Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they're all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 9 Unresolved 

"What do you mean you saw them kiss!?" Cyrus had practically yelled, Nala jumped. Andi and Buffy had told Cyrus that they saw Jonah with Walker the entire night, practically attached to the hip. "He's been avoiding us a lot lately," Andi frowned and bit her lip. Buffy nodded and added, "Plus, Marty said there were rumors that Walker was dating a boy." "But, Jonah?" Cyrus said, slumped, "Jonah Hercules Beck is straight..." "No one's straight Cy," Andi said as they pointed between themselves and Cyrus, "we would know." "Yea, but..." Cyrus trailed off. He had totally believed Jonah Beck™ was 100% straight. But now that he knew he was with Walker, he felt a sudden urge of jealousy. He was the complicated one, he was the gay one, not perfect and popular Jonah Beck. Cyrus grimaced, his cheeks felt hot. "Cyrus?" Buffy said, "are you alright? It's OK to be jealous." "Yeah Cy, we all know you liked Jonah, it was pretty obvious," Andi said smiling, "but now that means you can focus on TJ! Who has a total massive humungo crush on you!"  "Guys, I don't know why I said I liked him, I think it's because he defended me. It's because he defended me right? I mean no guy will ever like me," Cyrus said as his friends gave him shocked looks. "You've got to be kidding right! You've got the toughest guy in all of Jefferson basically in love with you and you don't even see it? You're all he sees Cyrus! D'you think he'd punch his longest friend over anyone? Don't be so oblivious," Buffy huffed, clearly over Cyrus' lack of self-esteem. After that, their conversation shifted to Buffy complaining about all of the girls that flirted with Marty and Andi complaining about never being able to see Amber because of her work schedule. Cyrus stayed silent for most of it, thinking back to when he woke up in his own sweater. Any other jock would have thought it was embarrassing or dorky, but TJ had kept it. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe he did like TJ? But, at the same time, he thought about how Jonah was going out with Walker, and that made his skin burn. It was worse than when Andi dated him, at least then he thought he had no chance, but now? Now that Jonah was, bi? pan? questioning? Whatever, Cyrus was still bitter. He envied Walker. What did he have that Cyrus didn't? Art skills? He could take a class. He's an artist! He'd won an award for his screenplay. Whatever, he thought, I'll just make Jonah jealous, we'll see how he feels then.  When his friends had left after telling him that their "relationship intervention" was over, Cyrus received a text from TJ.  From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Hey Cy, hope you got home safe and everything, I'm sorry I punched Reed... Are we still cool? 😬 To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yes :0 thanks again,,,,,sry i was a mess lol. see you tomorrow?  From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Of course :) See you at lunch? To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yup WOOP WOOp 💥 Cyrus couldn't help but frown at his own text message. Ugh, I'm such a dork. He immediately texted Buffy and Andi for help.  To GHC👩🏻👩🏾‍🦱🌈❣️: Cyrus 💕🕍✨: I think I just said I liked him because he defended me, so I'm overthinking it right? Like we're friends, so nothing will happen PLUS HES A HET!!1 ANDIII😽: cyrus stop overthinking everything, this happened with me and amber too remember???? BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: HE LIKES YOU DONT BE A DUMBBASSSSSS, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL KNOWSSSSSSSS LOOK AT THE VIDEO I DMD YOU ON IG GODDAMN  ANDIII😽: Buffyyyy we weren't supposed to show him that.... BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: he needs to know Cyrus was never into social media, he only went on to comment encouraging things on his friend's new posts. He even had his notifications off, but once he opened the underused app, his screen was filled with dm's, new followers, and comments. He quickly scrolled through most of them. Many of them asked if he was Dating TJ?! One said Hi cy i know u dont know me but ur like really brave another said idk who ur kidding, tj is straight lmaooo and another said hey is it true? His heart raced, he suddenly needed to stand up. Where would people get such an idea? Sure, people must have seen TJ fighting with Reed, but he didn't think people would connect that to him. TJ was respected, Cyrus wasn't, why would Tj's actions be caused by Cyrus? Cyrus opened Buffy's direct message, which had been pushed to the bottom of his feed by the time he went looking for it. It was a dark video, but Cyrus managed to catch an out of focus TJ and Reed standing in Iris' living room. He turned up the volume,  "-somewhere else!"  He heard Tj say, he looked disheveled and sweaty. "GOD, What is with you. Do you like him or something?" Cyrus gasped at the same time as the camera person. Is this the source Buffy and Andi were talking about? "So we were right, you do like him! And now you're choosing him over us?! We've been friends longer than you have with that loser-" Cyrus' eyebrows raised as he saw TJ's fist come in contact with Reed's face. The rest of the video was a blur of curse words and drunk teenagers chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"  Cyrus sat down on his bed, unable to comprehend what had just seen. Now he knew why he was getting so many notifications. He didn't know TJ could resort to violence like that. Hearing about a fight is much different than seeing that. But, he smiled. TJ had defended him, plus someone liked him! Him! Anxious, depressed, confused Cyrus Goodman who hated loud noises and sports. He felt light and airy, but most importantly he felt needed, more needed than ever. He had almost wanted to come out to his parents right then and there. They were all there, of course, sipping their wine about twenty feet away. He had quickly texted his friends a shocked cat gif and turned off his phone as he walked out of his room with newfound confidence.  "Hey Cy," one of his parents had called to him suspiciously, he didn't care which. TJ Kippen liked him and maybe he liked him back.  "Hello parentals," Cyrus said cheerily as he sat in an empty dining room seat, they were still having brunch, which had now turned into wine and ice cream. Cyrus picked at the leftover grapes and popped them into his mouth grinning.  "You look very happy today Cy, what did those girls do to you in there?" Norman joked. Cyrus shrugged and chucked uncomfortably.  "Whatever happened to that girlfriend of yours Cy? Ilene was her name?" a mom said. "No Sharron, it was Ivy," Todd said. "No, I'm pretty sure it's Isa," Leslie said. "Guys, you're all wrong. It's Iris. And we were never really together and I don't want to talk about this with my parents right now," Cyrus got up to leave, but one of his parents called out to him.  "Wait! Cy! Don't close us off so quickly. Just tell us, are there any new girls we should know about?" Shannon wiggled her eyebrows, Leslie nudged her side. Cyrus laughed a little too loud, "NO," he said, "no girls mom, never."  "Never?" Todd said, quizzically. Cyrus stopped. Did I just out myself through a joke? Am I really boo boo the fool?  "Cyrus?" His mom said, "do you want to tell us something we might already know? You know you can trust us." Cyrus thought about how his parents were trained in observing and analyzing. He knew that if he didn't answer, then they'd know he was hiding something if he answered too quickly they'd also know, and if he said anything at all they'd also know. He stood still instead, hoping that some being would impossibly teleport him to a different planet. Maybe Pluto? he thought Pluto is cute, and very far away from here.  "Cyrus?" His parents called again. Cyrus stared at the wall behind them, unable to speak. He gave one last chuckle and turned to walk a little too quickly to his room. He put on his headphones, played his playlist titled I'M A BIG FAT HOPELESS ROMANTIC and looked at the messages left on his phone. They ranged from encouraging Bitmojis to angry girls telling him to back off.  Oh my god, tomorrow is going to be hell. Cyrus spent the rest of the day nervously doing his homework in anticipation of tomorrow. Normally, he'd text TJ whenever he was nervous, but now that he was the reason for his anxiety, he stuck to his history notes. He had come out of his room only when he knew half of his parents were gone. Monday morning was relatively quiet, his parents had decided to not ask him about what had happened yesterday, which he was eternally grateful for. However, that was not the root of all of his worry.  Once he got to school, Cyrus immediately knew something was different. For the first time in his life, people his age noticed him. Everyone's eyes followed him down the hall, to and from his classes, and even during the peak hallway traffic. Thankfully, he had Buffy and Andi the entire day to protect him. Sure, they could protect him from direct attack, but he could still see kids whispering and pointing at him.  During lunch, Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus sat at their usual spot.  "Okay you guys, things are different now, be prepared." Buffy had warned them both. Cyrus felt uneasy, he knew something was about to happen, but he didn't know what. They had been discussing how to address Jonah's new boyfriend without being overbearing. They decided to not bring it up.  Just then, Marty and Amber walked up to the table and sat next to their respective partners, leaving Cyrus alone with his muffin for the millionth time. He thought about texting TJ, but he didn't know what to say to him.  "Cyrus!" Amber said, "I'm glad you're feeling better. TJ should be here soon."  Suddenly, the cafeteria doors opened and in came Jonah holding hands with Walker. Cyrus made a fist. They sat down a little too happily, Cyrus looked down at his tray. He felt tears pool in his eyes.  "Hello there," Buffy eyed them. Cyrus tentatively looked over at Jonah who seemed grounded. There was something different about him as if a light he didn't know existed had been turned on. He watched as Jonah talked to his friends, he didn't listen to what they were saying, he was too busy looking at how Jonah looked at Walker every so often just to smile at him. Cyrus wanted that. He wanted someone who understood him, someone who grounded him in reality, someone that didn't make him feel so lost.  "So," he heard Jonah say in his direction, "I heard that TJ likes you. I thought you guys were already together?" Cyrus thought he heard a twinge of jealousy in his voice, but it might have been his imagination.  Cyrus suddenly couldn't handle it anymore, from the stares to the questions, to gently coming out to his parents, it was too much. He silently stood up. His friends eyed him. "I need," Cyrus started but couldn't seem to verbalize his thoughts. What did he need? Something, he needed something. "Something," he said, before quietly packing his things and walking towards the cafeteria exit. Before he could exit, he saw TJ walk in. Cyrus saw the confidence oozing out of him, his stomach churned.  "Hey," TJ smiled at him, "Where are you headed? Lunch just started." "Oh, I was going to uh-" Cyrus looked up at Tj, Did his face get cuter? "I uh, was going to go sit with Andi and Buffy and them," he looked for an escape, but TJ was already turning him back around to join his friends.  "Come on then silly, they're the other way," TJ grinned. Cyrus hid behind TJ for most of the walk back to the table, the whispers they were getting were becoming unbearable, he wanted to cry. He couldn't make himself look his friends in the eyes when he sat back down. "Is this the something you needed?" Marty chuckled, Buffy jabbed him with her elbow. Cyrus fiddled with a broken spork as his friends continued talking about Jefferson gossip. Tj had inched himself closer to Cyrus, he let him. He hadn't noticed how different he felt with TJ around. How much easier living seemed to be. Before he knew it, he and TJ were shoulder to shoulder, leg to leg. He still couldn't bring himself to look at his friends, but they were used to his daily mini meltdowns. TJ started to laugh at something Walker had said, Cyrus grinned slightly He fits in so well. He saw Tj look down at him worried, he gently pried the spork out of his hands, it had started to draw blood. Cyrus hadn't noticed.    "What's wrong? Do you want to leave?" Tj softly asked him. Cyrus gave a small nod, his heart lurched. There were too many eyes on him.  Tj quickly packed away his things and gave his friends an excuse. Before walking away, Cyrus saw Jonah frown at them.  Cyrus didn't know where Tj was taking him, but he didn't really care. In the hallway, Cyrus thought he heard a noise. Once they rounded the corner, he saw Reed, Lester, and a couple other boys he didn't know. He gulped. TJ moved in front of him. "AYYYY look who it is!" Reed said, throwing his arms up.  "Leave me alone Reed," TJ said, trying to walk through.  "Bro, we're still bros. I forgive you for the other night. I know you were drunk and shit." Reed leaned in closer and said something to TJ that Cyrus couldn't hear, but made TJ look back at him.  "Dude, leave him alone," Lester said, pushing on Reed's shoulder.  "Hey, I just want to know what we're all thinking. So Teej, what is it? Are you still choosing this dork over your bros?" Reed said. The rest of the gang looked apprehensive, they didn't care enough to cause a scene. "Dude, just leave it," One boy said worried.  "Shut up," TJ said quietly, "Just shut up." Cyrus saw TJ ball his fists and tense up. Lester moved towards Tj, but Reed stopped him with his arm.  "Tell us," Reed said.  TJ stayed still. "Teej-" Reed had said before Cyrus heard bodies hit the floor. He closed his eyes. There was yelling, sneakers hitting the floor, and eventually, he heard the voices of teachers. Someone pushed him against the wall, someone else called his name, someone else touched his hair. He didn't want to open his eyes. 

[lesbesapphic]

Heyy 👋

It's been a while... but it's completely my fault, so I can't say anything expect that I missed our little talks 😅

- even if we didn't talk so much.

I wanted to send you a message earlier, but always thinking about it when I was unable to do it.

And then forgot again, or be too tired to do it.

Anyway, that's not at all what I wanted to say to you...

I'm writing this message because I wanted to let you know that I saw your post this morning and it completely made my day :)

Honestly, it's the first notification I saw when I woke up and I almost jump on it to read your post 💕

Bref, it was really good and it's sad that I can't send multiples reactions to a post, because I would have do it.

Hope you're okay and taking care of you 💛

Heyy

I wouldn't lie. I missed it as well. It was fun. But recently I had been busier than ever. Right now my focus is on not getting kicked out from my place, haha :'). But I am trying.

I totally understand. I too get too tired to even cry. Imagine writing a reply.

I am so glad you liked whatever I posted though i don't remember what it was...maybe the new au ig. Aww, it is sad. I would have loved to read your reaction on every little thing. You are too cute. 💖

I am.. living. Breathing. Idk about being okay. How are you? Are you taking care of yourself?

[teamfreewill-imagine]

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Thirty-Nine

Summary: Things are looking up until the news of Danneel’s experiences on One Tree Hill go public. Words: 4.5k Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Dallas (OC) Warnings: mentioned sexual assault/harassment, nausea, angst Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

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In the morning, you woke to your phone blowing up with notifications.

Someone had taken pictures of you and Gen, dancing and kissing in the final bar, and spread them around.

You sighed when you saw them, waking Genevieve up to show her what was being said, but she just shrugged and fell back into the pillows.

“We had fun,” she murmured. “They’re just jealous I got to party with the hottest cowgirl in town.”

You laughed, putting your phone down and kissing her softly.

“More jealous of me, getting to make out with Kris Furillo’s older, sexier body double,” you smiled, slapping her ass through the comforter as you got to your feet, stretching your arms above your head and making your jersey ride up. “I should probably watch Wildfire at some point.”

“You’re a tease,” she complained as you pulled the hem back down, grinning at her. “You’ve not even seen my season of Supernatural.”

“I don’t have a lot of free time,” you reasoned. “I’ve got a baby and a show.”

“Next hiatus we’ll do a catch up of all of our acting disasters,” she told you, watching as you pulled on a pair of shorts. “Jay and Grandpa Ackles did a real interesting movie a few years back that he hates us bringing up.”

“Can’t wait,” you smiled. “I’m gonna check on Dal and Jared.”

“I’m gonna grab ten more minutes,” she mumbled. “Remember to pump if your boobs get heavy, and-”

“Don’t breastfeed until this afternoon,” you finished for her, and she hummed in agreement.

“My girlfriend is the smartest,” she murmured, her voice muffled by her pillow as you left the room.

Genevieve had to fly back to Austin on Thursday morning, leaving everything back to normal in your Vancouver home.

You and Jared were both working long hours to make up for your time off, leaving yourself tired and your daughter grouchy.

“In a week, we’ll be in Hawaii, then it’ll be Thanksgiving break,” Jared reminded you the next Friday when you were getting ready for bed. “We’ve got some real time off.”

“I know,” you smiled tiredly, leaning up to kiss him when Dallas started crying.

You sunk back down onto your heels, resting your forehead on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“She’s so grumpy lately,” you complained, and he laughed softly as he kissed the top of your head.

“She’s a baby,” he smiled, kissing your temple as he pulled back. “I’ve got this, get into bed.”

“You sure?” you clarified, already pulling back the covers.

“I’m sure,” he promised. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You never got to Hawaii, not even for the convention.

You were scrolling through your twitter feed after work on Monday when you came across Danneel’s retweet of Sophia’s post sharing an article from Variety.

Reading the title, ‘One Tree Hill’ Cast, Crew Accuse Showrunner Mark Schwahn of Sexual Harassment, had bile rising in your throat.

Just three paragraphs in, you dropped your phone, running to the bathroom to half throw up, half sob into the toilet bowl.

You were still crying when Jensen appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching you in concern.

“You’re not pregnant again already, are you?” he asked, teasing.

You sniffed, wiping your mouth with some tissue before flushing the toilet, getting to your feet and walking across to the basin.

You splashed some water on your face, swilling some around in your mouth to get rid of the horrible taste before spitting into the sink and rinsing it down.

“Kiddo?” Jensen probed, the teasing gone from his tone. “What’s up?”

“She-” you cleared your throat, swallowing down the ache. “She had to work with him.”

He instantly knew what you were referring to, pulling you into a comforting embrace.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered, resting his cheek on top of your head. “I know.”

You were crying against his shirt but he didn’t care, whispering reassurances to you as his hand stroked your back.

“I hate him,” you sniffed, and Jensen held you tighter.

“Me too, kiddo,” he agreed. “Did you- did you read the letter?”

You shook your head against him, trying to stop crying.

“I only got a few lines into the article,” you admitted, and he nodded, pulling back enough to kiss your temple.

“Dee signed a letter, calling him out,” he explained, his voice soft. “Sophia and Hil wrote most of it, but so many of them signed it. It’s tough but they’re going to make a difference. It’s… it’s a tough read, but they’re finally able to speak out.”

“Yeah,” you breathed, sniffing.

“Yeah,” he echoed as he pulled back, looking into your eyes.

“I hate men,” you grumbled, earning a soft laugh as he tucked you under his arm and lead you out of the bathroom.

“You sound just like your mama,” he murmured, and you huffed a laugh.

“Good,” you told him. “She’s the strongest person I know.”

He smiled, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your shoulder.

“You and me, both.”

Jared was in the nursery - reading ‘Guess How Much I Love You’ to Dallas, his soothing voice sending her to sleep - when you finally got around to reading the whole article without having to stop to sob or run to the bathroom.

Your heart was broken, knowing what Danneel had suffered through, and all you wanted was to be close to her.

But you were in Vancouver and she was thousands of miles away, in a timezone that meant it was too late to call or facetime, leaving you with no option but to curl up in bed and cry.

You cried for all of the women who had signed that letter. You cried for your family and close friends. You cried for the complete strangers, named and unnamed. You cried for the injustice of it all.

A part of you, pushing its way to the forefront of your mind, cried with relief.

Relief that they’d spoken out, relief that they were finally able to fight back, and relief that you didn’t have to suffer that way on your ‘big break’ show.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but the idea that you could’ve had someone like him running Supernatural, in charge of your career, made you nauseous all over again.

You could have left Oklahoma, thinking you’d left everything bad behind you, only to find the same thing happening to you in the place that was supposed to be your fresh start; your clean slate.

You didn’t know how long you’d been silently crying when you felt the bed dip beside you.

Jared sat against the headboard, gently rolling you over so that your head was in his lap. You were still curled up, your knees as far to your chest as they could go, but you rested an arm over his thighs as his hand began to stroke through your hair.

Eventually, your tears dried up and you found yourself laying in silence, numbness filling your body.

“You don’t have to come to Maui, you know?” Jared told you, his voice soft.

You pulled back, pushing yourself to sit up as you looked at him, wiping your cheeks with your sleeve.

“You don’t even have to come to Honolulu,” he continued. “Creation will understand, so will Gen and I.”

“We’ve been… we’ve planned this for weeks,” you protested weakly. “Our first vacation.”

“And of course we’d love it if you came,” he agreed. “But we understand if you need to be with Danneel.”

You swallowed, not knowing what to say as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

“This… your reaction to everything,” Jared paused, trying to find the right words. “Kiddo, if you need your mama, you need your mama. There’s no shame in wanting to go home- wanting to be with her. I get it.”

“The fans-”

“The fans will understand, Y/N,” he promised, his lips against the top of your head. “I’ve had to leave conventions early before, and everyone gets over it.”

You wrapped your arms around his middle, leaning further into him.

“I’m not saying you have to go to Texas,” he clarified, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you can’t come to Hawaii. I just want you to know that the option is there, and nobody will think any less of you for taking it.”

You didn’t know how to reply, but Jared didn’t need you to as he started to slowly trail his fingers up and down your arm in a comforting movement.

“We still have a couple days,” he whispered, his fingers stilling as he wrapped a strong arm over your shoulders and pulled you closer. “Just think about it.”

You nodded, still unable to form an audible response, but you didn’t need time to think about it.

You knew where you needed to be.

Danneel and the twins greeted you at the airport on Thursday lunchtime and, the second you saw them, tears started to well in your eyes.

You let go of Dallas’ stroller as you reached them, throwing your arms around Danneel and burying your face in her neck

“Hey, shh,” she soothed as you felt yourself begin to cry. “You’re okay.”

“Are you?” you asked, pulling back and cradling her face in your hands, checking her over. “Are you-”

“I’m alright, sweetheart,” she promised, kissing your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

She took over Dallas’ stroller as you took the twins’, looking down into their gorgeous eyes and sniffing back your tears.

“You guys need to stop growing every time I look away,” you mumbled, stroking Arrow’s cheek as she was in the top basket.

“You’re telling me,” Danneel agreed, looking down at Dallas. “Two seconds ago she was a newborn.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, starting towards the exit. “Taking after her daddy already.”

You had a few hours alone with Danneel and the babies, during which she talked to you more about the article and what happened while she was working on One Tree Hill.

It hurt to hear her talking about it, to see her reliving the moments, but she assured you that now was the time for them to come forward; that they were already making such a difference by talking out about it.

“Besides,” she had reminded you, her arm around your shoulders as she kissed your temple, “I had great friends around me at the time, and I’ve got an incredible family with me now. I’m good, kiddo.”

By the time Danneel’s phone alarm went off, telling you that it was time to pick up JJ, the two of you were smiling and joking with each other.

“I didn’t tell JJ that you were coming,” she told you as you strapped the babies into their car seats. “She’s gonna freak out.”

“I can’t wait to see her,” you smiled, checking over Dallas’ seat as Danneel did the same for the twins.

You leaned in to kiss Dallas’ cheek, shutting the door before climbing into the passenger seat and smiling across at Danneel.

“Let’s get going,” she grinned, starting the ignition.

You were grinning as you watched the kids file out of the preschool classroom from your seat in the car, running excitedly towards their parents and carers to talk about their days.

You were waiting in the car with the babies to prolong the surprise, but your grin changed to a soft frown when you noticed that JJ wasn’t as enthusiastic to see her mom as she usually was.

You stayed quiet while Danneel helped her into her carseat, and JJ didn’t offer any kind of conversation either.

Once Danneel got behind the wheel, she turned back to face the kids.

“JJ, are you gonna say hi to your sister?” she prompted, and you turned around to smile at her.

“Hi,” she murmured, looking out the window.

“Hey, kiddo,” you responded, turning back to Danneel. “What-?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, starting up the car again. “She won’t tell me anything.”

JJ was sitting quietly in the front room when you and Danneel had finished getting the babies out of the car.

Danneel took Dallas from your arms, nodding towards JJ.

“See if you can get her to talk?” she requested, and you smiled sadly.

“I hate seeing her like this.”

“Me too,” she agreed, kissing your cheek. “But if anyone can get her to feel better, it’s her big sister.”

You hoped she was right as you made your way through to the front room, sitting down on the floor opposite JJ.

“Hey, Texas,” you murmured, lightly knocking her chin with a knuckle so that she looked at you. “You wanna tell me what happened today?”

JJ nodded, her lip starting to quiver as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you breathed, cupping her cheek in your palm. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffed, leaning into you for a hug.

You wrapped your arms around her, kissing the top of her head and waiting for her to talk.

“I was- I was playin’ with the truck,” she began, sniffing and speaking against your top. “And Ben stole it from me while I was playin’.”

You swallowed thickly, already furious with this ‘Ben’ character.

“Did you tell him you were still playing with it?” you asked, and she nodded against you before pulling back.

She still had tears in her eyes and you wanted nothing more than to make them go away.

“I said I was playin’ and that he could have it after me,” she told you, sniffing. “I’ve learned sharin’ and I know that it’s important so I said he could have it when I was done but he just took it. And I told Miss Daisy because I was still playin’ and he stole it but she- she-”

“What did she say, kiddo?” you asked kindly.

“She said he was just bein’ a boy and I’m a mature lady and I don’t need to get upset about it,” she told you, trying to wipe her own tears.

You saw red, trying not to get angry because you didn’t want JJ to feel any worse.

“Alright, baby,” you breathed, taking her hands in your own. “I want you to listen to me, okay?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, still sniffing.

“‘Boys will be boys’ is not an acceptable excuse for mean behaviour, and I’ll be having a chat with Miss Daisy about that tomorrow,” you explained, and JJ nodded again. “If you told Ben that he couldn’t have the truck yet, he shouldn’t have taken it without your conse- without your permission.”

You cleared your throat, trying to keep your tone steady.

“No means no, kiddo.”

“No means no,” she repeated, and you nodded.

“That’s right,” you agreed, ruffling her hair until she smiled slightly. “So, what do you say next time another kid takes the toy you’re playing with without permission?”

“I say ‘no means no’,” she told you.

“That’s right, and you take the toy back.”

“I take it back,” she nodded, and you smiled, tapping her nose.

“Yep,” you confirmed, “Because you never let anyone take away your decisions or your voice.”

“No means no,” JJ murmured, and you kissed her cheek.

“Alright, Tex, go wash your face,” you told her, getting to your feet and pulling JJ up with you, “Put on some comfy clothes, ‘kay?”

She smiled, running off to do as you asked after stopping to hug Danneel’s legs in the doorway.

Danneel still had Dallas in her arms as she stepped into the room, watching you with a concerned expression.

You shrugged softly, folding your arms.

“I fixed her bad mood,” you explained, and she nodded.

“You did, thank you,” she hedged, biting her lip. “What was all that about?”

“She needs to know that it’s not okay for boys to walk all over her,” you shrugged defensively. “I’m gonna talk to her teacher-”

“I agree, and I’ll go with you,” Danneel told you, “But, Dits… the whole ‘no means no’ talk…”

You swallowed, taking a step back when you realised what she was getting at.

Danneel took a tentative step towards you, concern furrowing her brow.

“Talk to me,” she requested softly. “What happened?”

You shrugged, looking away.

“Nothing,” you murmured. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

One look at her face told you that Danneel wasn’t buying it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you tried, your voice soft.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed. “You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed again, looking down at the floor.

“Come on, it’s me,” she pleaded. “You’re my baby. Let me help you.”

As soon as the words left her lips, she could see your expression change.

“I’m not your baby,” you spat, causing Danneel to flinch slightly. “You’re not my real mom.”

Danneel nodded, her hold on Dallas tightening protectively as your demeanor changed.

“I know that, sweetheart,” she offered softly, “I know-”

“No, you don’t know,” you snapped, and Danneel’s mouth suddenly shut in shock as you started to shout. “You don’t know what it was like. You don’t have any idea what it was like! You weren’t there, so stop acting like you know me when all you’ve ever seen is ‘Ditto Ackles’, because - guess what?”

Danneel had never seen you like this before, her heart was pounding hard and fast inside her chest as she let you continue to rant.

You stepped back, motioning around the room.

“This isn’t me,” you told her, harshly. “This… this whole thing is bullshit! ‘Ditto’ is bullshit. The ‘me’ you know is a fucking lie. So I’m sorry that I’m not ready to let you in on all my deep dark secrets just because you’ve ‘known’ me for five whole minutes.”

You stopped, your chest heaving as Danneel looked at you as if she’d never even met you - as if you were a stranger in her home.

The two of you faced each other for a while, both too stubborn to break eye contact.

This was new territory for Danneel. JJ was still too young to argue with her to such an extent, but she knew in that moment that you needed a parent.

Not to hug you and tell you everything was okay, but to set boundaries and let you know when you’d crossed them. To set rules for your own benefit and to inflict consequences when you acted out.

Danneel squared her shoulders and set her jaw, rearranging Dallas so that your daughter was against her chest.

Dallas balled her fists, snuggling in against Danneel’s neck as she was moved.

“It’s a good thing I’m not your real mom,” Danneel spoke, taking you by surprise. “I hate to think what she’d’ve done if you ever spoke to her like that.”

You swallowed, finally breaking eye contact.

“But you do not get to talk to me like that,” she continued, her voice even and strong. “I know you’re hurting. I don’t know why because you refuse to talk to me, but I appreciate that you’re dealing with something huge. Whatever it is, whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen. Judgement free. But you never speak to me like that again, you hear me?”

You nodded, still looking at the floor.

“Look at me,” she demanded, and you obliged with wide, frightened eyes. “I haven’t known you forever, you’re right. But I’m your mother, and you used to respect that.”

You swallowed, dumbstruck.

You couldn’t believe that you’d said all of that, that you’d blown up at her in order to protect yourself from telling her everything.

“Dee, I’m sorry,” you breathed, “I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she cut you off.

Every bone in her body was telling her to let you know that you were forgiven, to give you a hug and assure you that everything would be okay, but she didn’t.

You needed discipline; you needed order.

“Go to your room,” she told you, and you blinked at her. “Now, please.”

“Give me my daughter,” you requested.

Danneel didn’t move, hoping that you’d just go upstairs and calm down without her, but you took a step forward and held out your arms.

“Give her to me,” you repeated. “Please.”

She handed her over, and you were instantly grounded by the weight of your daughter in your arms.

Danneel stepped out of your way, and by the time you got to the top of the stairs you had tears in your eyes.

By the time you got to your bedroom, you were crying.

Dallas was fussing in your arms as you sat on your bed, and you tried to shush her through your own tears.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” you murmured, kissing the top of her head. “Mama’s okay. You’re okay.”

You took a few breaths, trying to calm down for the sake of both yourself and your daughter.

“I’m so sorry for shouting,” you whispered, stroking her hair. “You’re not allowed to repeat any of my behaviour. Or any bad words you might’ve heard.”

Dallas blinked, looking up at you with gorgeous eyes.

“You’ve gotta respect Dee, too,” you sighed, leaning against the headboard. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to us and we should remember that.”

You sniffed as you heard a little knock on the door, looking up to see JJ peeking into the room.

“Hey, kiddo,” you sighed. “I’m in trouble so I can’t play right now.”

“I know,” she told you, walking in.

You laid Dallas down on the bed next to you, frowning slightly at JJ.

“I’m just sayin’ I love ya,” she told you, climbing up into bed to hug you.

You hugged back, resting your chin on top of her head.

“I love you, Texas,” you assured her, closing your eyes.

She held you for a moment before you pushed her back, kissing her cheek.

“Now get out of here before I get you in trouble.”

She laughed softly, leaning down to kiss Dallas’ forehead before leaving the room as quickly as she entered.

You carefully laid down, moving onto your side and lifting Dallas so that she was laying on her back beside you.

Her eyes were blinking heavily, and you smiled softly as she let out a big yawn.

“Think we both need a bit of a nap, huh?” you murmured, letting her hold your finger as you leant into the pillows. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

You woke to the sound of your bedroom door opening.

Your eyes fluttered open to see that Dallas was still snoozing beside you, her expression content and calm, and a soft smile fell over your face.

The door closing reminded you what had woken you up, and you carefully pushed yourself to sit without disturbing your daughter.

Danneel entered, a steaming mug in her hands and a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she murmured, placing the hot tea down on your nightstand and perching beside you on your mattress.

“Hi,” you whispered, looking down at your hands.

“I love you,” she told you, smiling sadly. “I love you so much. But you can’t talk to me like you did.”

“I know,” you sniffed, your voice hoarse, “I’m sorry, I-”

“I know you are,” she promised. “I know. I love you, and I’m worried about you. You can’t shut me out.”

You nodded, feeling yourself start to cry again.

“Oh, baby,” she breathed, moving closer and pulling you into a hug.

She held you until your tears dried up, until Dallas’ soft grunts of waking up broke the two of you apart.

Danneel picked up your daughter, shushing her in her arms as she smiled down at her.

“I gave her your name,” you murmured, watching the two of them. “I wanted her to grow up with your grace, and your kindness. I wanted her to know that her mama’s mama means everything to us, and I just-”

“It’s okay,” Danneel insisted, cutting you off. “You lashed out, I forgive you. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whispered. “It’s not okay. You’ve taken me in, you’ve taught me what it means to be a parent, and I just threw it all back at you because I didn’t want to talk.”

Danneel nodded, swallowing around nothing as she looked down at your daughter before looking back at you.

“You can tell me anything,” she reminded you. “You can talk to me.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw and looking back down at your hands.

“I wish I was your real daughter,” you admitted, biting a hangnail.

“Honey, you are my real daughter,” she assured you, pulling your hand away from your mouth.

“But I’ll always be adopted,” you reasoned. “And… and she will always be my birth mother. I hate that I come from her. I hate that I can get like her. Why couldn’t I come from you?”

You sounded so young, so sad, that it broke Danneel’s heart to hear you.

“Oh, my girl,” she whispered. “I wish, with all my heart, that I could’ve carried you inside me.”

You nodded, a tear falling down your cheek.

Danneel caught it with her thumb before you had a chance to wipe it, keeping one hand cupping your face while the other held Dallas.

“Sometimes, I-” she sighed, stroking your cheek. “I feel guilty that I wasn’t there from the moment you were born.”

She was looking at you, her eye contact constant but not intimidating so you didn’t feel the need to look away. She was opening up to you and letting you in, even after everything.

“You only carry a baby in your belly for nine months,” she continued, moving her hand from your cheek to hold Dallas as she shifted her position on the bed. “But you carry your child in your heart forever. That’s the place that it counts.”

You nodded, breaking eye contact only to look down at your daughter who was watching Danneel intently.

“You do come from me,” Danneel insisted, “And from Jay. And giving birth to you… that wouldn’t have made me love you any more than I already do.”

“Really?” you whispered, and she shrugged.

“Would it make you love me any more?”

“No,” you answered instantly. “That’s crazy.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “So how about we both stop acting crazy, huh?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand.

“Alright, come here.”

Danneel held her arm out to you and you fitted yourself against her side, leaning your head on her shoulder.

You sniffed as she turned her head to kiss the top of yours, trying not to cry.

You wanted to tell her everything, but you couldn’t. Not yet.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down at Dallas. “I’m not… I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay,” Danneel replied with the same softness, kissing your forehead. “I’ll be here whenever you are, my love. I’m always only a phone call away.”

Let me know what you think!

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