#I woke up at like 4am and couldn't get back to sleep so

[somegrumpynerd]

Everything is snowed over!!!

Oooooo it's so pretty in the japanese garden one!! :O

[fluentisonus]

waking up from.a frightening dream at 4am in which a scary book was central which in the dream (could sort of tell I was dreaming on one level) I thoroughly believed was a real book that had been brought up the other day irl & that my dreaming mind was riffing off of bc I had not read yet. but having woken up. I'm not entirely convinced this is the case. and now I'm kind of scared to look it up tbh bc what's worse that it doesn't exist but I've dreamed about it several different nights & it's broken down my dream/reality conscious barrier (& I might dream it again??? this does happen to me) or that it does & I have to live in a world where it exists & I could read it.

[sugaroto]

The bad thing about having a sleepover with my lil cousins is that they woke up at like 7:20 or something but the good thing is that we watched megamind last night

[roronoacherries]

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 | roronoa zoro

788 words

content: comfort, fem. reader, sfw, established relationship, reader is sick and zoro is the sweetest boyfriend.

you tried to stay still, tried to be as quiet as possible, but you couldn’t stop turning in bed. and then the tears came. all you wanted to do was rest, but your body was refusing to allow you to.

that was when zoro woke, and you cried a little more because you hadn’t meant to wake him so early too. he’d been on night watch, and was surely as tired as you.

“what’s wrong? are you okay?” zoro pulled you closer to him, hearing your sniffles.

“feel like shit.” you cried. you were shivering and sweating at the same time, your head was killing you, your throat felt sore, your nose was runny, and you couldn’t stop crying. and on top of it all you had to be up soon.

“you’re burning up,” zoro whispered, holding a hand to your cheek. “i’ll go get chopper.”

“don’t leave.”

“i’ll be quick.”

he pressed a kiss to your temple before leaving to find the doctor. you weren't sure how long he'd been gone and though you knew it couldn't have been long, it felt like an eternity to you. all you wanted to do was sleep. to rest and escape the pain you felt throughout your body. 

instead, all you do was cry and turn and turn and turn in bed. when chopper came in to check on you, you could hardly focus on the words he spoke… but zoro — he clung to each syllable. 

“a tea could help you sleep better. i’ll bring you down a remedy as soon as i can.”

“i’ll bring it,” zoro interrupted. “and i’ll ask sanji to make you a tea, too.” 

his hand rested briefly on your forehead, gently brushing your hair to the side. “i’ll be right back.” 

you muttered a faint, i love you and the swordsman returned the sentiment with a kiss to your temple before stepping out behind chopper. you hated the thought of chopper and sanji being disturbed at this hour for your sake. all because you’d gotten sick and couldn’t sleep. pathetic. 

a fucking pirate and you still couldn’t take care of yourself. the sensible part of you could tell you that you were being ridiculous, that it was alright to depend on others sometimes, but it was hard to ignore the overwhelming voice in your head that was telling you you were being a burden, that chopper and sanji and zoro were losing sleep over you — and god, zoro deserved better. 

he deserved a girlfriend who wasn’t so weak, one who wouldn’t cry from a little fever. he deserved someone who wasn’t going to spiral at 4am because he was sweet enough to bring her tea and medicine and take care of her. 

“aight, sanji sent camel-somethin’ tea and a bowl of almonds and fruit, said it’d help you sleep better… and chopper told me to make sure ya take two spoons of this stuff,” zoro held up a bottle, his arms full as he pushed open the door. “how ya doin?” 

“i love you and i don’t deserve you,” you whined. 

“sanji said the same thing,” zoro said, ignoring your pout and setting everything down on the nightstand before helping you sit up. he pulled up a chair beside you for himself. “he went on about poor y/n and she deserves better than a big oaf taking care of her. he offered to come spoonfeed ya, actually, i could go get ‘im.” 

“no, i think i’m all better now actually…” you smiled, not needing a mirror to know you looked like shit. “but if the big oaf feels like spoonfeeding me, i wouldn’t mind it.”

your boyfriend only rolled his eyes, reaching for the spoon and chopper’s bottle. “two spoons is all you’re getting. open wide, babe.” 

you didn’t know if it was chopper’s medicine, sanji’s tea, or zoro’s hands rubbing circles into your skin, but it didn’t take long before you started to feel better and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. “baby, i think i can sleep okay now…” 

zoro took the tea cup from your hands. “want me to sleep next to you?” he hummed, knowing there was something you were leaving unspoken. 

“you’ll get sick.” you whispered. 

“that’s not an answer.” 

“please,” you smiled weakly, wanting nothing more than to rest your head against zoro’s chest and feel the weight of his arms around you. 

you could feel the rise and fall of his chest and the warmth of his body against yours. 

“it doesn’t matter if i get sick,” zoro said, his eyes closed and his fingers brushing through your hair. “i’ve got a beautiful, sweet girl to take care of me.

i don’t deserve her.” 

─────────────────────────────

something about zoro putting aside his pride to wake sanji and ask him to make you tea. something about zoro knowing exactly what you need without you saying it. knowing how to comfort you without being too obvious about it. him taking care of you because he knows you’re more than he deserves (and he knows that you don’t think you’re enough) and because you take care of him the same way everyday. something about zoro.

─────────────────────────────

taglist: @zorobraun @maaarshieee @lyriczhou @tinkywinky27 @dimimyth @gaby-chwan @tk6uro @zoros-4th-sword @idiotlittleme

masterlist | taglist

[wlwsoccerfics]

The Troll inside my head(KimLittleXReader)

A/N:this Is just my experience with adhd. Doesn't have to be like that for Others.

Warnings: ADHD Reader, angst, self doubt

Summary: your adhd brings you down sometimes and makes you feel terrible. Your girlfriend is there to pick up the pieces and Show you how loved you are.

It was in the middle of the night, around 3am. You couldn't sleep. Your brain wouldn't let you rest. Many different thoughts running through your mind, all at once and all of them really loudly. Like they wanted to make sure you heard them. You felt like screaming. Only thing that kept you from it, was the fact that your beautiful girlfriend, who had the Patience of an Angel was asleep next to you. And you didn't want to wake her. It was enough that you were dealing with this. You didn't want to make your sleep issues her Problem too.

You got out of bed so you wouldn't wake her. Grabbing some fresh clothes and two towels, making your way into the bathroom. Taking a hot shower. Breathing in and out gently. You imagine that you are on the pitch. Focusing on not letting a ball past you. So No one would score a Goal against you. There were times when you didn't have all those thoughts running through your head like little Trolls, trying to cause Chaos. One was when you were on the pitch, being a Goalkeeper. You did an amazing job there. Or when you could hyperfocus on something else you really liked. For example when you build your Lego Sets. You can do that for hours on end. Only Problem when you hyper Focus on something is you forget about everything else.

After your shower you wrapped yourself in a big towel and then used a smaller one for your hair. Putting on a Sports bra and some panties your Trainings Shirt and Long pants. Then last but not least some white socks. it now was 4am now. You knew you wouldn't be able to rest, so you decided to listen to a Podcast about Harry Potter. Another one of your Obsessions. You sat on the Couch in the livingroom. The Podcast was on Low Volume, playing through the speakers of the Alexa. Something was different though.

Today you couldn't Focus on the Podcast. Your anxiety was rising up. Your mind going back to the last game. You were thinking about the two Goals that were scored against you. In your head all you heard was 'everyone else would have saved those!' and the disappointed and hate for yourself was back. You got up from the Couch, pacing back and forth. A panic attack was approaching. Fast, like lightning.

Your girlfriend slowly walked into the livingroom, half asleep. That changed when she saw you struggling to breath. She quickly made her way over to you. Placing her hands on each side of your face.

"Babe! Hey, Look at me, i am here! I got you! You are not alone." She told you, her voice soothing. She then pulled you close. Pressing her Body against yours. Swaying from Side to Side with you. She knew that worked for you when you had a panic attack. You placed your head against Kims shoulder. Breathing in and out slowly. The smell of her Shampoo was very calming.

"s-sorry." You whispered against her shoulder. She gently stroked your Hair.

"what are you sorry for Baby? You did nothing wrong." Kim whispered out. Gently sitting down on the Couch with you still very much holding onto her.

"you woke up really early cause i was probably too loud and annoying and then you walk in on me being a mess." You told her. She gently put a Hand under your chin now, pushing your face Up gently so you would look at her.

"listen to me please, you weren't loud or annoying. I did wake up cause i missed the warmth of your Body in bed. This isn't your fault at all. You can get out of bed whenever you want. And you weren't a mess. You had a Panic Attack. I hate that you have to Go through them but that doesn't mean you are a mess!" She told you and kissed your nose. You teared up and looked at her.

"i Love you, Babe." You let her know. Offering her a small and tried smile. Which she returned.

"i Love you too!" Your girlfriend answered. "Now please tell me what caused this panic attack?" She wanted to know. You cuddled up to her again. She gently stroked your arm.

"the last game." You admitted.

"sweet Angel, we have been over this. That we lost wasn't your fault. We win as a Team. We lose as a Team. You are such a talented Goalkeeper. So stop beating yourself up over this. No one is blaming you." She told you. You didn't say anything. You just kissed her. She kissed back.

A little while later it was 6am now and you took your adhd meds. You always took them at that time. After that you snuggled back onto the Couch with Kim. She put on one of the lego movies(knowing it is one of your favorite ones) , holding you close. Giving you a kiss on the head every now and then. You stayed like that, enjoying the Moments with Kim ,until it was time for Kim to get ready and make you two some Smoothies before you had to Drive to practice.

It was good to know that your girlfriend would always be there for you. No matter what.

[gliphyartfan]

Your dear double anon has returned

Anyway, I hope you had a good night's sleep and breakfast, because I'm back with more thoughts on LU I had this at 4am when I couldn't sleep (that's exactly why this sounds so far-fetched and mixed, perhaps a little meaningless(?)

I've been thinking a lot about Villain Chain lately, you know, by cloudninetonine. Also in humans are hylian space orc reader but that comes later and thinking a lot about cloudninetonine basically since I reread his/her mess au.

This is all set in mess au, in fact.

So far I have only found three writings that involve them and I have not found any more, which is a shame, because I'm interested in the concept of when a hero is a villain and a villain is a hero, I've always been a fan of role reversals in any context.

And one of the writings I read was about how they became like this when their guide/Reader/player died and they made a huge statue for them as a tomb and they see the guide/Reader/player from the original chain and kidnap them to maintain it and so on (this no has minimal relevance, I just woke up very talkative, although I'm sure I sent you messages yesterday)

Yeah, wrong, but I've kept them in mind because, remember the yandere version of cloudninetonine's chain? Where they're older and guide/reader/player isn't really their guide/reader/player but they think it is? Well, here I came up with an interesting continuation.

guide/reader/player is not really the guide from the original chain either.

Whether it's Dark Link or Villain Chain, they corner the reader and are like 'aha! You have no escape, little guide' and with a blank expression guide simply (when the adrenaline and fear have passed), grabs the blade of the sword that is pointing at their neck and bends it.

Here is the first clue that something is wrong, if it is Dark Link, whether by this action or not, he realizes that there is something wrong with the guide, it is not as he remembers it. If it is Villain Chain, there is bewilderment because the guide who described that shadow that plans to betray them did not resemble the guide they had before them who was not affected by magic, potions or weapons.

is not the guide that Dark Link remembers or that he described to Villain Chain because it turns out that is not the guide either, Reader is a guide but not of that specific chain.

Either because Hylia was confused or she searched for a stronger guide/Reader to stop Dark Link she simply looked for a Reader/Guide who she felt had even a modicum of power over the Hylians and found Guide/Reader from Human are Hylians Space Orc.

But that's where my train of thought ends.

Looking back after getting a proper night's sleep and reading this out loud, I feel like this was so far-fetched but my tired, sleep-deprived brain couldn't figure it out in time.I'm not particularly satisfied with these ideas, but perhaps I'll salvage something for the future.

Or maybe I'm thinking of ideas for a Villain Guide/Reader/player getting to know everyone, seeing as how no one has really done anything like this and some players can be evil in video games.

—double anon (since you already know my problem with Tumblr and the fact that I have to send at least two messages for one to arrive, I wasn't sure if I should give myself a name because my attention span It's null and void and I bounce from fandom to fandom every week. and I disappear the moment I decide to give myself a anon name, but I've been paying attention to Linked Universe for over a month, and I think that's reason enough to know that I won't disappear anytime soon, although I have your Tumblr profile saved in my Google bookmarks anyway so I'll still come visit even if it disappears)

This is a doozy. (Quite the long one, tad overwhelming. 😅) I’m not that familiar with villain chain? Let’s see what I can do with what I can figure out.

One thing I realized is that When Reader sees how the Villain Chain practically worships them, they’re baffled.

To this Reader, adventure games are meant to be just that, games.

The idea that she’d be revered as an actual deity is unsettling, and she’s torn between keeping up the act to protect herself or leveling with them. If she lets on that she isn’t their Guide, the Chain only becomes more obsessed, deciding she needs saving from whatever memories she’s ‘lost.’

And if she realized the Chain has suffered from the loss of THEIR Guide, Reader tries to gently reason with them, perhaps offering compassion?

Big mistake sadly. The moment they show even a hint of softness, the Chain decides Reader has truly “returned” to them. They double down on their devotion, misinterpreting kindness as affection, and it fuels their possessiveness.

To jog ‘memories,’ the Villain Chain might recreate locations or scenes from the past with the old Guide.

They could go to absurd lengths ya know, clearing whole areas, painting fake backdrops, even dressing up in the same worn, ragged clothes they had when they met the Guide. Reader plays along, but she’s constantly trying to figure out an escape plan, as she now knows nothing she says or does will convince them she’s not their Guide.

The Chain takes turns watching Reader, monitoring her behavior for signs that she’s “returning” to them. This means Reader can hardly go anywhere without someone at her side or in the shadows. Even a sigh or a glance could be analyzed endlessly.

Twilight would try to remind Reader of the old days by isolating her in forests or mountainous regions, telling tales of their past escapades.

He thinks being in these familiar places will awaken her ‘true self.’ But when this doesn’t work, he only becomes more frustrated, insisting that Reader must remember and that her real memories are just buried.

Hyrule would repeatedly try to heal Reader, convinced they’re suffering from some curse.

Every time Reader resists or tells him to stop, he assumes it’s the curse talking and only becomes more insistent, going as far as sneaking healing spells while she’s asleep or distracted.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi Fen! Hope you're doing well <3

I've been having such a hard time going to sleep lately and I was wondering if the moon boys ever have that problem - when they're not trying to stay up that is. So what do you think? Do any of them have trouble falling asleep? What do they do when that happens? And how do you think they'd help a Reader who couldn't fall asleep?

I’m so sorry you’re having trouble sleeping! (And that it’s taken me so long to reply) I hope you're doing better now <3

Rating: PG  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: brief mention to sex

Steven

Doesn’t have trouble sleeping, and can go to sleep quite easily when he’s not fighting it AND when Marc isn’t co-fronting (Marc’s sleeping issues bleed over into Steven).

When you can’t sleep though Steven is more than happy to stay up with you.

“Spend most of my adult life on 2 hours of sleep a day, didn't I? Yes. So this isn’t even water off a duck’s back, this is air off a duck’s back, this is not even noticeable love.” 

Will suggest lots of different things to do: reading (he will read to you if you want to try to sleep), watch something, listen to music, go on a weird London at 3:30am walk, “the night tube is running and we could go to 24 hour karaoke in Soho?”, “did you know these libraries are open at 4am?”, “I know a 24 gym that has a pool, we could go swimming!”, “Beckenham Place Park actually has open water swimming, I bet we’d be the only ones there! But I’m gonna wear a nose clip because I don’t want possible brain-eating amoeba up my nose, do I? No.” Proceeds to tell you a documentary's worth of information about Naegleria fowleri and how it was found in 1978 in Bath, so “yes it is in the UK Marc.”

Basically he’s full of ideas about where to go in the middle of the night that’s open because that’s what he used to do when he was trying not to sleep. (Also it’s nice to do things when there’s not so many people about.) 

Will suggest driving to a spot he knows outside of London where there’s less light pollution to look at the stars. Will wake up Jake to do the driving. Will bully the hell out of Khonshu if the sky isn’t clear. (And will make him get rid of the cloud.) 

100% would ask if you would like him to fuck you to sleep.

Marc

He’s not asleep either. 

Usually gets Steven or Jake to fall asleep for him.

However, if they’re already asleep, or not available, he goes with the ‘I am laying down with my eyes closed, because it’s still resting’ philosophy. 

He tries not to toss and turn a lot, but he does bless him. 

Has tried to drink himself to sleep on several occasions. 

Doesn’t like to see you having trouble sleeping at all and spends ages fussing over you. 

Fluffs the pillows, gets extra blankets, gets less blankets, turns the heating on, gets the fan out, will run you a bath and put all the lavender stuff in and make you 500 herbal teas, then change the bed covers. 

Will offer to sleep on the sofa or the floor so he doesn’t disturb you while you’re trying to sleep. (Then apologies when you obviously hate the idea of him being away from you.)

Is giving ALL the cuddles, however you want them. Will lay in the most uncomfortable position for himself for you to be comfy (will not tell you the position is uncomfortable for him.)

Tells you the most outrageously made up stories in quiet hushed tones to help lull you to sleep and then acts mock offended if you doubt that anything he says didn’t really happen.

Makes you cum on his mouth repeatedly until you’re so exhausted you have no choice but to fall asleep.

Jake

Can actually fall asleep anywhere at any time. 

I still firmly believe that before Steven and Marc know about him he would front just to go to sleep because they are so bad at getting some shut eye and constantly run the body into the ground.

Has melatonin tablets and a whole pharmacy's worth of sleeping aids to share. 

Will 100% take you for a drive to try to get you to fall asleep (or just to take you somewhere if you want, or if Steven has woken him up to drive.)

“Jake, I need you to drive to-”

“Steven… It's bedtime, time for sleep. No driving.”

“Oh, but S/O is having trouble sleeping and-”

Jake is already out of bed with his car keys in hand.

Will offer to be your weighted blanket and lay all over you. 

Says he will threaten Khonshu to keep the sun down so you can rest if it takes you a while to get to sleep. 

Tries to (lovingly) bore you to sleep by counting sheep out loud and in detail. “This one is a Merino sheep, the ones that are very fluffy. Her name is Harold. She likes grass, but not clover. Which is unusual for a sheep. So that’s one so far, one sheep. Now this next one is…”

Doesn’t offer sexy times because he doesn’t want to be pushy, however if you suggest it he’s happily all over you.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

@raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @pimosworld @jake-g-lockley @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @queerponcho

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[hopefulromances]

Could you write a Roy or Jamie fic with a female character who is anxious and maybe doesn’t feel confident or good enough for them? Thank you 🥰

This one has sat in my inbox for like 8 weeks? Just cause i am an anxious non-confident person and wrote and rewrote this one like 10 times i think. I've been going through a pretty deep depression and have no self esteem and rlly wanted to do this one justice. So i hope you enjoy!

There was a soft rumbling of thunder outside. Jamie rushed in the front door, shaking his hair back and forth to get the wet rain off of it. It was the off-season, which meant no day training, but Roy still came by at 4am and again at 5pm for a run and workout. They'd cut their training short today because of the rain. It was one day off, Roy figured they could both use the break.

Jamie slipped off his shoes and padded back upstairs, excited to slip back into the warm bed with you. When he opened the door, his heart melted at the sight. There you were, curled up in bed with his pillow cuddled tightly to your chest. Your nose was shoved right into the pillowcase, getting as much of Jamie's scent as possible.

He smiled, softly, tiptoeing over to the side of the bed,and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He wanted to get in right now, but you would kill him if he got in with his rain wet clothes on.

He rushed through a quick shower before throwing his boxers on. You were still fast asleep, holding on tightly to his pillow. It was so sweet he could die. Instead, he carefully untangled your limbs from the pillow and let you rest your head on his chest instead. Your body immediately recognized his warmth and wrapped themselves around him tightly.

"Jamie? You're home?" You're sleep heavy voice spoke up.

"Hi, love," Jamie cooed, pushing your hair off your face. "Grandad couldn't handle the rain."

"Was afraid you were gone forever," you murmured, not quite awake.

Jamie frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Always afraid you won't come back," you answered, before falling right back into your deep sleep.

While you snuggled into closer to him, Jamie felt himself struck by what you said. Did you really mean that? You weren't sure if he'd come back? He held you tighter, kissing the top of your head.

He did fall asleep eventually, after holding on to you for as long as he could before drifting off. What woke him was your lips on his face, kissing his jaw then his cheek, getting him awake enough to meet you as you reached his lips.

"Morning, Jay," you greeted, smiling as he opened his eyes.

"Morning, Beautiful," he grumbled, pulling you back down to his lips. It wasn't often that you could wake up together. These sacred moments in the morning waking up to a lazy kiss, they were cherished by Jamie. When you pulled back he kept his hand on your cheek, skimming his fingers over your cheek.

"Why are you afraid I won't come back?"

He didn't want to ruin the moment. But looking at you in this moment, he couldn't imagine ever wanting to leave you. He didn't want you to live in fear of him living.

"What?" you pulled away from him.

"When I came back this morning," he explained, sitting up in the bed. "You said you were afraid I wouldn't come back. "

He watched your face as your processed what he said. "I was... I was probably dreaming I have no idea what you're talking about."

You sat up as well, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. Jamie followed, sitting behind you. He brought his hands to your shoulders, digging his thumbs into your back.

"But it's true, isn't it?" he asked, softly, kissing your neck where it met your shoulder.

"Jamie..."

"Please, talk to me," he insisted, pulling you so you were facing him on the bed.

You wouldn't meet his eyes. You stared straight down at the bed sheets, tugging at a loose string. He pushed your chin up to meet his eyes. He saw the sparkle of unshed tears and it broke his heart.

"You could just- fuck- you could do so much better than me." You voice broke as you spoke. "And I know that you've dated models and athletes and, jesus, I'm fucking... I'm nothing."

"(Y/N), what are you-"

"I'm not skinny and fit, I sit in here all day waiting for motivation to do something worthwhile. And you're out there, being fantastic, and amazing, and everytime you leave I'm just waiting for you to realize that. Or meet someone else who's better and just... never come back."

Jamie genuinely felt speechless. He couldn't remember the last time he'd even looked at anyone else the way he looked at you. How could you... how did you not see.

"You think I'm going to leave you?" He really just needed to confirm.

"Jamie, don't make fun of me."

"No, no, no, I'm not, I'm just," he let out a laugh. "I just need to make sure I know what you're saying." You shrugged, wiping at your nose. "Oh, babe, c'mere."

He pulled you into his chest. You clung onto him, letting his arms pull you into his lap. He was so strong and solid. You rested your head on his chest as he pulled your legs across his thighs.

"I'm not leaving you, ever," Jamie whispered, resting his temple on your head. "I can't leave you." You closed your eyes, kissing his chest. "I love you so much. You're all I want. All I need. And if I need to say that to you everyday to remind you I will."

You held him tightered, your arms tight around his waist as he collected you and laid back against the leopard print headrest.

"Please believe me," he said so quietly. Like he was begging, pleading with you to feel the depth of his love for you. "Please."

You nodded minutely. And maybe you were just pleasing him. But from that moment on he'd make it his goal to make sure you knew just how much he loved you. Make sure that when he left, he'd always find his way back home.

[aussiepineapple1st]

Hi there! If your taking requests can you do a Leon x reader where they have a baby and one night theyre sleeping in bed when there's an intruder in the house and it ends up being Ada and Leon goes to check it out and tries to reason with Ada. The reader goes to check on Leon when they see Ada holding their baby and hears her arguing with Leon. Leon telling her to hand the baby over and get the hell out but the reader steps between Leon and Ada and sizes Ada up saying "what the hell do you think your doing with my baby?" Like a badass reader and Leon being impressed and just so in love?

Thank You! 🥰

I will do my best!😅

Stolen Child

Words: 1,266 Contains: Daddy Leon, guns

Coming back from feeding your 5 month old daughter, you slide back in bed with your husband. Rolling over Leon had stayed awake just in case you needed his help, insisting you got it this time.

"Is she happy now?" He asks pulling you into his body to get comfortable once again.

"She is... But you should be asleep, you had it tough the last week." You were worried about your husband's health, he had come home to you bloody and bruised. You had been with Leon during Racoon City, you also had managed to live a fairly normal life. Working your way up to your own dream job as a successful Café owner.

"I'm alright, I just feel bad leaving you alone with her for so long."

You shake your head at his words and snuggle into his warm chest. "You do more than enough for both of us already." Sighing, you close your eyes. She would be wanting another feed at around 4am so you had a few hours to sleep.

An hour passes and you feel Leon pulling away from you leaving the bed. You wake up, but guess he was only going to the toilet. Staying on your side you start falling back asleep when you hear Leon talking, you groan and sit up. Does he really have a call at this time of night? You reach over turning on the lamp beside you and look over to his table... No, his phone was right there. You didn't hear a knock at the door?

Sliding out of the bed, you use the carpet to your advantage and stay in the hall, listening to where his voice was coming from.

"I won't ask you again." There he was, in your daughters room, the tone of his voice had your heart racing. Peeking through the gap in the door you see Leon standing there, facing the window. His arms were extended, holding his gun in his hands. Trained on a woman holding something in her arms.

"Put her back in the crib or so help me I'll shoot." Leon's voice was low and demanding, but soft enough to not wake the still sleeping baby.

"You wouldn't do that, I might drop her." The woman's voice was smooth and sensual, mocking Leon with what she knew he would never do while his daughter was in danger.

You couldn't just stay hidden! Opening the door, the woman pulls her own gun on you. "What the hell are you doing with my baby!?" You didn't care if you woke her, you wanted her out of the arms of this intruder. Who would steal a baby?!

"Ada, don't." Leon warned as he steps between you and her gun. So this was Ada? The very same woman Leon had told you about from Racoon City when you had both been separated in the mayhem. The woman who he would tell you kept popping up on his jobs.

Placing a hand on the back of his shoulder you step around your husband, his finger leaving the trigger, almost starting to squeeze it. Still keeping it trained on Ada he makes sure you weren't in the way if he needed to in fact, shoot her. "What do you plan on doing with her?" You ask.

Ada just glanced down at the still sleeping babe, a smirk pulling at one side of her lips then lifting her gaze to you once again. You had stepped close enough for the barrel of her pistol to be pressed against your collar bone. Ada frowns at how ballsy you were, she could tell why Leon had fallen for you and was still with you even after so long. "Sorry, but I don't work and tell."

Leon was stood directly behind you, so you knew she wouldn't shoot, just in case she hit him. Ada not expecting the speed in which you had grabbed her wrist and lifted her arm to the ceiling, your grip making Ada wince slightly as you step even closer. Yes, you were shorter than she was, by half a head, but your intense stare made up for your height intimidation.

"You'll hand my baby back to me now and leave the same way you came in. And if I ever..." You lower your voice to a growl. "Ever! See you again, I will Not hesitate to shoot you, unlike my husband."

Ada tilts her head up, seeing in your eyes you weren't joking. Maybe the job she thought would be easy wasn't, not with you being the child's mother. She looks to Leon who was smirking at you, she could tell he was impressed by your show of protection for your daughter. Reluctantly she allows you to take your baby back from her arm, your hand still holding her wrist tight.

Once your daughter was back in your arms and only then did you remove your grip from Ada's wrist. Leon pulls you back into his side as he keeps his gun on Ada. "You heard her.. On your way." Leon motions with his gun for her to leave through the open window.

Once she leaves you wait before removing your gaze from the window and felt your legs go weak under you, the adrenaline leaving your body almost instantly. Leon saw you drop and half catches you, kneeling down beside you as you sat on the carpeted floor, cradling your baby. "You okay?" Leon asked seeing you starting to tremble.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay, just.. my legs aren't working right now. Heh.." You were so scared, but protecting your daughter was your main objective, worrying about if you got shot later. "Did.. Did I do good?"

Leon just lets out a low chuckle from a closed mouth, rubbing your arms to help calm you down. "Yeah, I was even scared for a moment there." He didn't want to put his daughter back in her crib, not tonight. And it looked like neither did you, so he ends up scooping you into his arms while you held your baby.

"No you weren't.." You pout.

"Really, I was." He carries you back into your bedroom, placing you on your side of the bed. "I was scared you would be shot."

"Oh.. Right." Leon walks down stairs to fetch a U-shaped pillow, placing it in the centre of your bed. You then gently lay your daughter in the middle, both of her parents laying on either side of her for protection. You lay on your side, head on the pillow surrounding the tiny infant. Leon was doing the same, reaching down to use his index finger to draw tiny circles on the inside of her open palm.

She closed her fingers around Leon's finger causing a big smile to pull the corners of his lips. You watch the smile on his face and he looks up to you. "I was really proud of you for standing up against Ada. You were so hot."

"Oh please." You blush and pull the blanket over your shoulder. "You probably do that type of thing daily."

"Yes.. Sort of.. But you don't. God, I love you so much." He said reaching over his daughter and gently touching your cheek.

Your cheeks turn a darker red and look in his eyes that looked at you with pure admiration. He had seen a new side of you tonight and it only made him fall more in love with you. "I love you too, but we really need to figure out something about house security so this doesn't happen again."

"Right.."

🏷️: @phoenix666stuff @maehemthemisfit @greywardensaywhat @growingupnrealizing @starcrossedreaders

[danversxluthor]

Luthor-Danvers - A Reckless Endevour

Part 2 - Hooky

The next morning, El woke up at 4am, 2 hours before her alarm, and continued to turn her plan for the day over and over again in her head. The teen had grown used to the feeling of constant exhaustion after two weeks of little sleep and her mental wheels turning. El had never played hooky before, never been in trouble at school, never blatantly lied about something so significant, and certainly never done anything this dangerous or reckless. Today marked the end of “perfect rule following El” and the beginning of some part of herself that El didn’t even know what to call yet. She tried to quell her fears by reminding herself that this was all to protect her family, even though the thought of her moms’ disappointed faces haunted her. 

El finally got up at 6, made her bed, got dressed in her usual school uniform--a blue and green plaid skirt, navy knee high socks, and a long sleeve white oxford under her green cardigan sweater. El looked in the mirror one last time, an immaculately pressed uniform hung loose from her skinny frame, strawberry blond pin straight hair fell just below her shoulder blades, and light green eyes stared from behind her slightly crooked, rectangle glasses, her typical school day look. The only noticeable difference that El knew she couldn't hide were the heavy bags under her eyes. Taking a deep breath, El opened her door and stepped out ready to put her plan in play.

“Morning mom,” El said as she walked into the large white and grey kitchen. She grabs a banana from the fruit basket on the counter and sits at the island across from Lena. 

“Hey Ellie, sleep ok?” Lena asked, still looking down at her phone. The CEO already had her makeup on and was dressed for the day in a black pencil skirt, deep green blouse, and three inch black heels. El couldn’t imagine wearing such uncomfortable clothes five days a week, or even one for that matter. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Lena looked up and into her daughter’s tired eyes. The CEO started to notice that El seemed excessively tired in the past weeks, more so than a typical growing teen. She knew it likely had something to do with Kara’s injuries weeks earlier, but figured El’s anxiety would ease as time passed. Now that it had been over two weeks since Kara woke, Lena was starting to think that perhaps something else may be contributing to the teen’s exhausted state. Lena and Kara talked after leaving El’s room the night before. They decided not to push El into therapy just yet, but to keep a closer watch for any signs of depression, anxiety, or concerning behaviors. 

“Where’s Jeju?” El looked over her shoulder to the closed balcony door.

Lena poured her second cup of coffee and leaned her forearms on the white marble counter, “Emergency. Apparently, there was a fire from an engine explosion at the docks this morning.” El couldn’t hide the worry from her face and unconsciously bit her lower lip. All El could picture was Kara in the med bay again, looking completely lifeless. Lena picked up on El’s anxiety and reached for her daughter’s hand. “El, look at me. You have nothing to worry about. Jeju is going to be ok. It’s just a fire, and Aunt Alex and the DEO will be there as back up.” 

“No, I--I’m not worried.” El’s voice rose at the end, giving away her already unconvincing lie. She looked down and continued to eat her banana. 

Lena’s phone went off a second later. “And look who it is,” Lena passed her phone to El with a smirk. Kara had texted a picture of herself and Alex, both with soot smudged on their faces and big smiles. “See just fine. A little messy, but fine.” El nodded with relief.

Lena drove El to school for the first time in two weeks. While Kara was off supergirl duty, the hero insisted on taking her daughter to school with the hope that Lena could get to work earlier and eventually home earlier, which didn’t always happen. El loved her momma driving her, there was loud music and singing, it was the only way Kara could cheer El up for a day at school. Lena was a more practical driver, they listened to NPR and talked about odds and ends at L-Corp or school, all while Lena occasionally peaked at her phone which vibrated endlessly with notifications. 

Pulling up to the carpool lane, El opened the passenger door and grabbed for her overly stuffed backpack. Lena leaned over and touched El’s left wrist, clearly making sure El was wearing her watch. El raised a single brow as if to say ‘really mom? . . . yes, the watch is there.’ El pulled up her sleeve to show the blue watch secured on her wrist. Lena looked away quickly and withdrew her hand, a bit taken aback by having been caught by her daughter. “Wouldn’t dream of forgetting the restraints.” El added sarcastically, but feeling a bit bad at her own remark. After all, her mom was just trying to help.  

Lena looked at El with a frown of disapproval. “Hey, watch the attitude young lady.” El looked down and mumbled “sorry,” an answer which usually wouldn’t fly with Lena, but she knew the start of the school week was always difficult for El and this was even more so with Kara back to supergirl duty. Lena looked in her rearview mirror at the line of cars forming behind her and remembered, “I won’t be able to take you home today. I can either ask Aunt Alex or you can take--.”

Before Lena could finish, El blurted out “bus!” Then, realizing she came off a bit too excited, El cleared her throat, “I- I’ll just take the bus. No need to bother Aunt Alex,”  El said in a nonchalant tone. Honk honk--the dad two cars down interrupted, clearly in a rush. Lena scowled looking behind her. The two exchanged quick goodbyes. Lena, however, didn’t drive off to work right away. Instead the CEO pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the school where she could still see El. Lena couldn't help but feel nervous about El’s lack of social life - she never wanted El to feel as alone as she did growing up. 

Lena watched as El walked through the school campus with her gaze drawn down to the concrete and shoulders curled in on herself as if blocking out the arbitrary highschool world happening around her. El became almost unrecognizably small, as if she was a whole different person from the poised and confident daughter Lena knew at home. All Kara and Lena wanted for their daughter was to have what neither of them had, a loving family and the chance to be a kid. Lena couldn’t help but feel they had failed El in some way. 

El opened the doors to the main building and made a b-line for the first floor girls bathroom. The first floor was reserved for the cafeteria and administrator’s offices, including the principal and counselors. As such, the girls bathroom was rarely occupied and, lucky for El, it was located right next to the cafeteria’s back entrance, making it the perfect launching point for her plan. 

El only had 10 minutes before the bell rang, so she needed to work fast if she was going to make it out of school undetected. She moved efficiently, first pulling out the DEO issued black uniform from her backpack. She had swiped the uniform from the agency along with a careless agent’s security badge a week ago while visiting Aunt Alex for a powers check up. The DEO uniform was unassuming to the average eye, though a bit big on El. Nonetheless, it would still pass as a disguise to get her into the prison visit with Lex. Once El finished tying her black boots, she pulled her long hair into a tight, military style bun, and put her glasses away in her backpack.   

Next, El unstrapped the blue watch from her wrist. Even though the watch’s primary use was to dim her powers, it had many other features, one of which was a gps tracker. El carefully folded her school uniform so as not to wrinkle it too much and tucked it in a smaller bag along with her watch and cellphone. She placed the bag in the ceiling vent with 2 minutes to spare. 

El peered out the bathroom door. The coast was clear and most students were now on the upper floors heading off to their various classrooms. El quickly and quietly left the bathroom and went out the cafeteria’s side door and into the back alley. With her head down, El got herself to the bus station three blocks away. 

Less than 20 minutes later, El was in the penthouse garage, having snuck a pair of car keys from the junk drawer in the kitchen a few days earlier. The penthouse had a private garage packed with over a dozen cars, from fast sport cars to military grade SUVs, but the keys El had belonged to a simple silver toyota camry Kara occasionally drove. El unlocked the car and immediately opened the control board under the wheel and connected her laptop to the car’s control center to disable the car’s gps tracker, because of course Lena needed gps on everything. This was an easy task for El and within 30 seconds she disconnected her laptop from the control panel.

With her laptop still open, El began hacking the school’s system, which was even easier than the car. El went to the school’s attendance system, which showed her as ‘absent’ and changed her status to ‘present.’ This would ensure her school wouldn’t make any unwanted calls to her moms notifying them that she failed to show up for class.  

With everything in order, El finally started the car with shaky hands. It finally hit her, she was actually doing this. . . there was no going back now. El had never driven in the city before and didn’t even have her driver’s license yet. Aunt Alex had taught her the diving basics and even let her drive on some backroads when she went to visit her grandma Eliza in Midvale. El drove out of the parking structure and to her surprise had an easy escape from the city, going against the morning rush hour traffic.

Finally the adrenaline from the morning subsided and El released a heavy sigh. El memorized the directions to the prison last night and sat back for the remaining three hour drive. She ran through how she was going to approach her conversation with Lex. Aware that Lex had a knack for getting into people’s heads, El resolved that she would keep her outward emotions to a minimum. To ensure her own safety, El had to guard her emotions and mind. 

Two hours into El’s drive, self doubt and guilt started to fog her thinking. She couldn’t help but imagine all the ways she could slip up and be caught. What if the prison knew she was obviously a rogue teen and not a DEO agent. They would have to call her moms, who would be so disappointed and hurt, not to mention El would be grounded for life. Or would the DEO simply lock her up for impersonating an agent? Then El would just be another Luthor in prison. That thought caused El to spiral in another direction. She began to question whether she was going too far. Would she end up like Lex? El tried to refocus but the thought that she was just like Lex kept creeping into her mind. Just like Lex, El was now a criminal, having committed, she didn’t even know how many crimes in a single day. Not to mention, she was on her way to ask a murderer for kryptonite. She shivered with anxiety, the similarities to Lex frightening her to her core.

El can just make out the prison on the horizon, less than 10 minutes away now. El refocuses her mind. She can’t be emotionally vulnerable when she sees Lex. Her mind has to be an impenetrable rock, so she can get the information she needs and be back at the penthouse by 4. El reviews her plan in her head one more time as she nears the prison.

As El pulls up to the front gate, five guards surround the camry. El keeps her face neutral and pulls out a DEO issued badge. One of the guards steps forward, looks the badger over front and back, signals to the gatekeeper and El is in. 

El had never been in a maximum security prison before, or any prison for that matter. She had seen the DEO’s holding cells but those were only meant for short term use. This was totally different from the DEO. El stared straight ahead, forcing her eyes not to wander with curiosity, as she was brought just outside a secured meeting room. 

“Agent Holms,” the guard addressed El, “you have one hour. We’ll be right outside if she needs anything.” 

El nodded and the guards positioned themselves at the entrance of the hall and meeting room. Peering into the gray poorly lit room, El saw a tall bald man eyeing the door with a hint of amusement. El took a deep breath and then opened the door and walked immediately to the chair opposite Lex and sat. She fumbled with a small device in her bag, it was a demo from L-Corp that would manipulate any recording devices to make video footage blur and audio incomprehensible. It was just a precaution, after all she didn’t want anyone knowing her interest in kryptonite. 

El finally looked up at her Uncle Lex for the first time and felt a strange pull toward him. 

“Hello El,” Lex’s mouth formed a menacing grin.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

illicit affairs | twenty nine

*Ellie’s POV* The clock read 9:03 when I woke up, feeling a lot better than I expected. Normally after those many white claws my head feels like it’s going to split open. I rolled over in bed to feel Noah’s side was cold, I swear he couldn’t sleep in past seven no matter how late he went to bed. I laid there, remembering last night, and how I finally spoke to Matt for the first time in months. It felt relieving to know that we were fine, but I knew things wouldn’t be the same just yet, it would take some time.

“Ellie!” “Morning, boys.” I yawned as I made my way through the kitchen to make myself some coffee. Matt caught my attention as I turned to grab the oat milk from the fridge. He walked over to me and poured himself another cup, sending me a half sympathetic smile, completely unaware of what happened after Noah caught us. “Hey is -“

“Not here.” I cut in, “I’m gonna go outside if you want to talk.” “I’ll be right out.” He whispered before I left the room.

I weaved my way through all the guys as I headed out into the backyard. Folio was curled up on one of the pool loungers, using his hoodie as a blanket. I thought about going over to wake him up, but he looked pretty comfortable. I don’t even want to know what he got up to after I went to sleep. 

“How’d you sleep?” I asked Matt as he sat down beside me at the patio table. His eyes looked a little bloodshot, telling me everything I needed to know. “Not that great.” He muttered, not taking his eyes off his coffee cup. “I was up most of the night worrying about what was going on with you and Noah. I didn’t want to text you incase I made things worse.” I took a long swig of my coffee as I mulled over last nights events, “he panicked over us being alone last night…I guess some of the guys put it in his head that we were unfinished business.”

“Well are we?”

I rolled my eyes, he hasn’t changed at all, “Matthew …”

“I’m just kidding.” He assured me, “Noah is his own worst enemy, especially when he’s overthinking. I’m sorry if I caused a fight between you two, it wasn't my intention.” “It’s okay. I cleared the air with him and he’s over it.” His eyes narrowed as he locked them with mine, “do you think he is?” “For the most part.” I replied with a little uncertainty. “It’s just a touchy subject with him, and I think it will be for a while.” “Guys, breakfast is ready!” Jesse yelled from inside. Matt brushed my arm with his hand as he got up, the contact made my heart skip. I chose to ignore it as I walked in behind him, but I couldn't get my heart rate down.

“Where have you been?” Noah asked as I sat down beside him. “Just outside.” 

He didn’t seem convinced, I could tell by how he looked over at me, then over to Matt and back to me. Folio came in staggering from outside and sat down beside Matt, not looking at any of us. Jolly threw a strawberry at him, causing him to give Jolly the finger. I tried to hold back my laughter because I’ve been in worse shape than Folio was right now. 

Jesse and Davis made us pancakes, eggs, bacon and everyone dived in. I could get used to people cooking me food like this every day. Best part was that they never asked for anything in return and wouldn’t even let me clean up when I offered. The boys talked about how they stayed up until 4am playing cards and drinking, making me laugh at what I missed. Matt was sitting across from me and we kept stealing glances at each other, I tried to fight the flutters in my stomach but it was hard. I chalked it up to me not seeing him in a while, but I was probably gaslighting myself into believing that. 

“Fuck.” 

We all looked at Steven who sat down, almost distraught. 

“What’s up dude?”

“I just got off the phone with Josh and Fit for a King’s opener had to drop out so Thousand below just got offered it.” He paused, looking at our confused faces, “it means he has to miss the last half of our tour.”

Matt brought his hand to his face, rubbing it in frustration. I knew Josh has been a huge help for the band on the road, so this was bad news, “I could make some calls to find someone but we go on the road so soon.” “I can come help with the gear and tech part of the tour, but I know nothing about helping out with merch.” Caleb offered, I honestly forgot he was here. “That’s a start.” Matt said, “we just need help with merch and vip then.”

Jolly leaned over the table, looking in my direction, “El, what about you?”

“What about me?”

Noah placed his hand over mine, making me turn my attention to him, “we did talk about you working with the merch team anyways, so why not start now?”

“I mean…” I stopped. Mostly because I was stunned Noah put me on the spot like that but I also wasn’t expecting to start working with the band until the new year. 

“It would be like 7 shows El, the last leg of the tour is lighter than the first.” Nick said, showing some signs of life. “Having you on the road with us would be really cool too.”

“I don’t know.” I didn’t want to let them down, but my head was spinning with all the possible outcomes of this. 

“If it helps, you could bring Liam you. We can fly you guys to each stop and put you up in hotels instead of being on the bus.” Matt spoke up, causing Noah to glare at him, "that’s if you decide to come.”

“That would .. actually work.” I chewed on my lip, mulling it over. “Who’s gonna watch him while I’m working?”

“We all can, Ellie.” Davis added, “I usually just go to hang out so I can watch him, then we can watch the shows from Matt’s booth or you can just go back to the hotel.”

“I’ll think about it, I have to talk to Liam and Tyler first to make sure it’s okay.” I scanned the room, seeing everyone’s eyes on me left me feeling uneasy. “Just let me have a couple hours.”

Matt nodded at me, “this would be a huge help but take all the time you need.” 

Being on the road with Noah would be really fun but I don’t want to ruin my son’s routine either. I also had to come to terms that Noah and I being together meant life was about to look a lot different than before. This wouldn't be the first and only time I'd be on the road with him.

“We’re really doing this huh?” Noah whispered in my ear. 

“We very well could be.” I sighed before I narrowed my eyes at him, “please don’t put me on the spot again like that ever again.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t -“ 

“It’s fine.”  I snapped, “I need to go phone Tyler.”

Anger started to take over me as I went up towards my bedroom to get my phone. I don’t mind helping the band out, but Noah should’ve known better, he knows I can’t say no to helping people. It’s literally what I do for a living. I grabbed my phone, sitting at the edge of the bed as I waited for Tyler to answer his phone.

“Hey Ellie, everything okay?” “Umm, yeah…. I just had a question for you.” I answered, nervously twirling my hair between my fingers. “Something came up with Noah’s tour and they asked me to come help with the merch booth. I haven’t said yes because I know this would interfere with our schedule with Liam. So what I’m asking is, are you okay with me taking Liam? I know the environment might not be the best but everyone here loves him and promises to keep him safe.”

“I mean, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about him being exposed to that environment. However, with Noah being in your life, this is something he’ll get exposed to eventually.” “I’m sorry it’s happening so soon. If this doesn’t work out, we’ll be back on the next flight home.” “I trust you Ellie, and I know you wouldn’t put Liam in an uncomfortable situation. Do you want to talk to him to see if he wants to go?” I smirked, “of course.” “Mama?” Liams small voice came over the phone, making my heart melt. “Hi baby, mama has a question for you. Do you wanna go on a plane with me to watch Noah sing?”

“Nick going?”

“Yes.” I chuckled, forgetting how much he really liked Folio.

“I wanna go.”

“In a couple weeks, ok? I love you.”

He hung up the phone, not giving me a chance to talk to Tyler again but it was okay. I took a deep breath before going back downstairs, nervously biting my lip as everyone stared at me waiting for an answer. For some reason, my eyes fixated on Matt, feeling my anxiety disappear as he sent me a reassuring look.

“So?”

“He said he’ll go as long as Folio will be there…so we’re in.”

“And for once Folio’s immaturity saves the day.” Jesse commented as the table erupted in laughter. 

I just shook my head, leaning against the wall. Two weeks on the road with these guys was going to be equal parts terrifying and interesting.

[polyrafe]

THE TRIAD ORIGIN STORY

you and Rafe met in college, became a couple, moved into a flat in Boston after college

you started working in marketing, Rafe started his business as a freelancing graphic designer for online presence, designing and maintaining websites and social media accounts for businesses and other organizations

Topper and Rafe have known each other since forever, had crushes, shared a few drunken / high kisses when they were younger, never talked about them, oggled each other whenever they had the chance

during covid, Topper visited for a couple of days, you did a lot together, you noticed how they looked at each other. ohhh the pining!!!! you knew Rafe was bi but you've never seen him look at someone like he was looking at Topper - the same way he looked at you, with attraction and love. the thing is, you couldn't even blame him, Topper was hot af and his neverending good mood was infectious

the three of you had the best time. it was so different to any other relationship with friends you ever had. Rafe was so different. He was calm and confident and so funny. you didn’t get to see this playful side a lot but Topper managed to get it out effortlessly.

Topper stayed longer than he initially wanted. he wanted to visit for a weekend but it was quickly decided that he would end up staying an entire week instead. Rafe just beamed when you agreed upon that. the way he reacted, you knew that something was different.

that night in bed, you asked Rafe whether he felt different for Topper than for his other friends. He confirmed. You didn’t know where that question came from but it just made sense in that moment to ask: “are you in love with Topper?” he was completely taken aback by that question . "I'm… I think so, yes. But I love you so much and we're so good together, I would never jeopardize what we have" you just nodded, deep in thought about what this meant for the two of you. "I kind of want to kiss him all the time,” Rafe admits , his head buried deep underneath the covers. you pulled the covers away and gently made him look at you. "it's weird, but I kind of understand. he's so good for you." you couldn't really put into words how you felt. oddly enough, you still weren't really jealous.

you were both so confused by what that meant. Later that night - you both couldn't sleep - you told Rafe that if he wanted to explore whatever that was with Topper, you were fine with opening up your relationship as long as you always were in the loop with what was going on. you were secure enough in the relationship you had with Rafe, a part of you couldn't believe your own words but you knew that they were true. Rafe couldn't believe his luck.

Rafe was awake the whole night, thrashed around the bed, at 4am in the morning he got up to get a glass of water. when you woke up again, Rafe wasn’t next to you and his side of the bed was cold. You got up and in the living room, Topper and Rafe were asleep on the pull-out couch, Rafe wrapped up in Topper's arms. You still weren't jealous because it looked so right but it scared you.

Topper and Rafe woke up, super sorry, embarrassed. Rafe wanted to get up but you told him, "No, Rafe, stay, it's fine." and it was. But then Topper lifted the covers and asked you to join and Rafe and you are so taken aback in the best way possible, so you do.

the three of you spent the whole day on that couch. cuddling turned into kissing and kissing turned into something else eventually. This is what you did for the remainder of the week. Exploring each others' bodies, exploring being three people, exploring this. It was new for all of you but you all loved it.

when Topper left, the two of you missed him a lot. He came back a week later and then he kind of never left. He transfered to an office of his mom's firm in Boston and there's that.

at the beginning it was hard sometimes because Rafe and Topper had history and they were in much deeper than Topper and you. the way they kissed was so familiar, the way they joked about inside jokes from when they were young, the way Topper got when the conversation flowed around drugs and Rafe's past addiction. You’ve only ever known Rafe since he's been clean but Topper was there for the worst of it. so Topper knew how it was.

but then you realized it was just as hard for Topper because you and Rafe had history that didn't involve him as well. You guys were a couple for two,  almost three years already , you have been living together. This was your apartment. Rafe and yours.

it took so much to make this work, so much communication, so much research, so much trial and error. but it was so, so worth it!

the three of you eventually moved into a bigger flat, the triple income making it possible to rent a huge apartment in which all of you have their own room, plus a huge master bedroom, two bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen.

life is good ♥

[myloveleeknow]

just for anyone wondering (life update)

no, i did not shift on that thursday. no, i'm not angry in the slightest. i unfortunately had to face one of my extreme fears (heights) because we were going on a trip to ZA the 26th. i failed every single time after thursday, but i wasn't bothered a bit! the two plane rides were much more underwhelming than i thought, and i managed to stay positive throughout the beginning of my trip when i felt most out of place!

i would get that feeling like "oh my god i want out", "this isn't where i wanna be", "i don't wanna live this life", and immediately i would remind myself i could shift! it was like those negative thoughts didn't affect me anymore.

anyway by this point in my recap it's a happy new year! even though that day i was so drained and sad (i had just lost a friend in my shifting friendgroup who turned out be an awful person). now the next 3 days are just bringing back the bond i had with my other 7 friends and just having a ton of fun. and now, we make it to today! the day i realized i had no reason to be upset about how i had failed my attempt at manifesting my dream life, despite being extremely motivated and all the circumstances being perfect. (i even wore my most comfy pjs 😭)

i was helping one of my friends by introducing her to shiftblr (someone from the shifting fg) and i put her on to a lucid dreaming method that u could use to enter the void state. she'd also entered the void state once before which was nice. anyway i'm kinda yapping this part doesn't really matter but the method does! i had another shifting realization that took me an INSANE amount of time to realize.

i was way too obsessed with my first official experience being perfect.

and how do i know this?

i refused to believe that i could shift on my period.

i also refused to try to shift when i got sick.

i thought if i was sad i couldn't shift.

i was obsessed with awake methods and i thought if i moved or scratched an itch i would be taken out of the trance (this hardened into reality unfortunately)

you see the issue? and i think what makes it even worse is that i KNEW none of this played a role in whether i could shift or not. when i would help baby shifters i would tell them they could feel any way they wanted, they could move anytime they wanted, hell, one of the first shifting experiences i'd seen someone put in a tiktok comment section involved her shifting to escape her period cramps! (she was already on it)

now! what does this have to do with the lucid dreaming method i spoke to my dearest friend about? with lucid dreaming, we know this but i'ma say it again. you are already not aware of your cr. you dont need to do extra steps, you don't need to be extremely relaxed, you don't need to affirm until you fall asleep or any of that! even the method i planned to use that i said was really gonna get me this time, is still harder than simply lucid dreaming! i was worried about all these variables, when i completely forgot that the lucid dreaming method is the ultimate lazy method of all time! i could lucid dream while being sad, on my period, sick, and after moving around a lot! you wanna know how i know? take this morning for example.

today jan 5th, i woke up at 4am and stayed up till somewhere around 9. i was watching one of my comfort movies (bratz, specifically the live action), and talking and giggling with that same shifting fg on discord. i made ramen for myself and had a brief interaction with my mom. i finished the whole movie and realized how tired i was, and went back to bed. now the wbtb method is usually for 10-50 minutes, and you're not meant to use screens. i was awake for nearly 6 HOURS, and by then the wbtb method is null and i'm just awake. i didn't intend to do anything besides sleep, and i had a vivid dream at first, but then i had a false awakening and started realizing what was going on. i don't really feel like explaining the full details of my dream, but know that at some point i realize "wait... i could use this to-" and i cut myself off with a brief "nah" and decided to kill the creature in my room (it was probably gonna become a lucid nightmare).

i'd completely forgotten i naturally have vivid dreams and lucid dreams! and that singular conscious thought helped me take control of my dream. if it isn't obvious by now, i tend to overlook and underlook and it's KILLING ME. but, i'm much happier now knowing that i had a kinda sorta shifting experience while being in ZA when i'm usually extremely hot and uncomfortable in my room (i also have to share a room with my sister).

yea guys i'm pretty happy now! i feel just as motivated as i did then, but i know for a fact that none of those things i was worried about can stop me! (also i've disproved the moving while shifting and swallowing while shifting before, so i have no idea why i still thought i couldn't shift after doing that!!)

byeeee next time i post directly it will likely be my success story!

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 22: March II

{{ Chapter 21: February II | Chapter 23: April II }} Chapter Directory

yes i made an ATLA reference, i couldn't NOT make the ATLA reference

also publishing this rly feels different when its on the same day as the final ep :')

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, fem!reader, levi hating crowds ✧ word count ➼ ~5.4k

It was quiet and the room was still dark. While this would have been annoying a few months ago, now it was much appreciated. A few months ago meant your insomnia was kicking in and that you’d be forced to lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a few hours. Now, it meant you could get some conscious cuddle time with Levi. It was a fair tradeoff. 

You looked over your shoulder and your gaze immediately softened upon seeing your boyfriend, who was half asleep. He was rolled over on his side, facing you, placing one hand in between his head and the pillow and having his other arm gently draped over his side, likely finding himself in this position after falling asleep while pulling you up against his chest. He’d rather pull his own teeth out before admitting it, but he craved cuddles just as much as you did, finding immense comfort in burying his face into the back of your neck and pulling you flush up against him. He even found comfort in the little whine that you’d do whenever he’d have to pull away. 

You watched as he slept, appreciating the way that his hair fell onto his forehead and how his shirt accentuated his arms, almost as if they were purposefully making it so that you couldn’t think of anything other than the feeling of being held by them.

You reached out and tapped on your phone to see the time: 4am. That meant you still had a few hours left to be able to lay around in bed. You immediately scooted over towards Levi and lifted his arm, crawling up against him until his arm was wrapped around your waist. You leaned against his shoulder, pressing yourself up against him as he pulled you back into a snuggle in his sleep.

Levi shuffled so that he was laying on his back and used his other arm to pull you closer so that you could rest your head against his chest. Hearing his heart rate and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest quickly lulled you back to sleep. If your insomnia was planning to act up tonight, it was certainly failing.

The next time you woke, Levi was waking up. You felt him shuffle around and vaguely detected some sunlight peeping in through the windows. You felt him begin to get up and you immediately let out a more than audible whine before pulling him back into you, not letting him get up out of the bed.

“Nuh-uh,” you mumbled as you buried your face into his chest. “Too early.”

In your defense, it was quite early, but that wasn’t a priority for Levi at the moment. You heard him sigh as you pulled him back in. You weren’t a particularly strong person, but you reacted to the possibility of having your morning snuggles stolen from you as if it was a life or death situation, holding your boyfriend in a firm grip and refusing to let go.

He paused for a few seconds, remaining silent without attempting to break free, knowing from past experience that it was futile. His eyes flashed down at you, likely waiting for you to fall asleep again. As soon as he heard your breathing pattern change, he began to move, which immediately woke you again. 

You let out a louder whine, tightening your grip on him, effectively locking him in place as you hugged him. 

“It’s too early,” you said with a pout, your eyes still closed.

He glanced down at you with an unamused expression. Upon seeing your bottom lip slightly stuck out as you laid against him, he felt his resolve to get up falter, a part of him preferring to spend the morning in bed with you instead. However, even the idea of a lazy morning filled with cuddles failed to offset the stress that was beginning to creep into his mind.

“You’re so annoying,” he eventually grumbled, going to pry apart your fingers that were locked together as you hugged him. “I have a thing due next week that I need to get done.”

“It can wait five minutes,” you whined again upon feeling your hold on him loosen, pushing yourself up so that you were facing him. You looked into his overly exasperated eyes, quickly connecting your lips with his. 

You almost felt the exasperated sigh that was threatening to come out of him if you hadn’t kissed him to shut him up, the edge of your lips slightly curving up into a smirk once you felt him kiss you back. His hand roamed to your waist as you scooted further up against him. Your own hands traveled down from the back of his neck and down to his chest. 

However, before your hands were able to get to more suggestive areas, Levi forced himself to pull away, stopping the trajectory of your hand, knowing where this was going if he didn’t pull the plug on it.

“With you, ‘five minutes’ ends up turning into another hour,” he muttered before finally getting up off the bed now that you didn’t have your arms tightly locked around him.

You clung onto him as he got up, until you were forced to let go so that he didn’t drag you off the bed entirely. 

You huffed in frustration upon hearing him begin to get ready for the day and rolled back over to your side of the bed, pulling the covers over your head to shield yourself from the sunlight that was spilling into the room.

~~~~~

It was approaching early afternoon. The sun was shining in through the balcony doors and you found yourself on the couch, furiously typing away at your computer. Although it seemed like you were intensely writing, you found yourself in a fairly good and confident mood. You were about 90% done with your light novel and things were coming along smoothly. Graduation was in sight. 

You had lost track of time. You remembered getting up around 8am, whipping up yourself a quick breakfast, before getting to work on the couch. You hadn’t moved since.

You also hadn’t seen Levi come out of his room for the entire day. You knew that he had been up since 6am—you had spent the night in his room again. He was up long before you were. You vaguely remembered whining and pouting about not getting cuddles past 6am, with Levi reasoning that he needed to get up and moving so that he could finalize a research update that he didn’t have enough data for. The prospect of not getting cuddles was distressing, but you also knew how easily Levi got stressed regarding school.

Given the fact that it was now the afternoon and you had yet to see Levi come out of his room to even get a refill on his tea or use the restroom, you knew he was stressed and likely on the verge of ripping his hair out as he glared at his computer screen. You could already imagine it without having to physically see him. His eyebrows would be furrowed together with his jaw slightly clenched. If he was particularly stressed, then his hair might be slightly more ruffled from him running his fingers through it in an attempt to relieve some anxiety.

You closed your laptop with a sigh, deciding that you were also needing a break. Four to five hours of working without a break was starting to give you a headache. You got up, stretched, and made your way into the kitchen.

Although Levi kept the kitchen neatly organized, it didn’t make finding what you needed any easier. You would think that his tea set would be more readily accessible, given how much the man likes his tea, but it actually took you quite a while to find it, with it being hidden behind all the plates and bowls in your dishware cabinet. You grabbed some leaves and a strainer and filled the kettle with fresh water. 

You already knew that your tea wasn’t going to be nearly as good as the ones that Levi brewed himself. The man was very particular in the way that he made it. He had shown you it once, but it flew right over your head. You didn’t think it’d take that much effort to brew tea, but Levi clearly proved you wrong.

You intensely stared at the strainer as it stewed in the water, trying to figure out just the right time to pull it out. You remembered Levi telling you an ideal stewing time depending on the tea leaf, but you couldn’t remember what it was. You had to go off color. Given the fact that the mug was not transparent, the liquid seemed much darker than it normally would have, resulting in you grossly overestimating how much flavor had actually been extracted into the water.

Steadily holding the mug by the handle to avoid burning your hand, you gently knocked on his door, which was cracked open. 

You peered inside and saw him glance up from his desk. You were correct in that he had been glaring at his screen all morning. His frown lines were much more prominent.

“Don’t need to be so courteous,” he spoke up, raising an eyebrow at you. “It’s creepy.”

You pushed the door open and stepped inside, rolling your eyes at him.

“Only you would insult someone for being considerate.”

You placed the mug down on the coaster on his desk, replacing his empty mug with the one that contained your freshly brewed tea. 

He gave you a skeptical look as his eyes darted back and forth between you and the tea. He didn’t expect this from you. Regardless, he accepted the gesture, sipping at the tea, and shooting you a small smile in appreciation.

“You’re stressed.”

“Yeah?” he asked with a skeptical expression, not wanting to vocalize his distress, although that didn’t fool you.

“You’ve been there since 6:00. It’s currently 1:00.”

“What of it?”

You weren’t sure if he was purposefully avoiding the point you were trying to make or not.

“How much have you actually written in the past-”

You paused for a second as you did the math.

“-seven hours?”

His skeptical expression slowly turned into an annoyed frown. He glared at you for a few more seconds before he looked back down at his computer.

Exasperated with his stubbornness, you shut his laptop in front of him, leaning forward and meeting his gaze that was now exceedingly hostile. He hadn’t glared at you this way since you had first moved in and dedicated every ounce of your energy into pissing him off.

“Revenge is a bitch, isn’t it?” you whispered with a smug grin on your face, alluding to the amount of times that he’s made you stop working because you were sick or stressed.

He didn’t respond.

You sighed as you stood back up.

“There’s a fireworks festival this evening. Come with me. It’ll take your mind off.”

Levi continued to stare at you without responding, which earned a more than irritated groan to escape your lips.

“If you say no, I’m taking your laptop with me. You’ll be forced to take a night off regardless.”

The frown on his face turned into a scowl.

“You’re so annoying.”

You stuck out your tongue at him. 

“Your choice.”

After a few seconds, Levi groaned in defeat.

“Fine, what time is this stupid festival?”

You scrolled through your phone to pull up the event information that you had seen on your socials. You had only vaguely glanced at it when you were doomscrolling earlier, so you had to scroll down quite a bit to try to find the event information. After about a minute of scrolling, you gave up and just typed “fireworks festival” into your phone’s search engine.

“Fireworks don’t start until 8:00,” you reported as you scrolled through the lineup of events that was listed on the website, “but food trucks arrive around 4:30.”

When you glanced up again, you saw him still frowning at you, and you shot him a smug grin in response, glad that you were able to get him to agree. 

Levi glared at you as you walked away towards his door, speaking up right as you got to the doorway.

“You need to stew it for longer, by the way.”

“Ah?” you mumbled, turning around to glance back at him, although you already knew what he was referring to.

“Your shoddy attempt at making tea,” he said, raising the mug to bring your attention to it. “You need to stew it for longer. What you made me was basically hot leaf juice.”

~~~~~

“Told you we should’ve come earlier,” you grumbled with your arms crossed as you glanced out the window.

“Don’t make me abandon you on the side of the road,” Levi retorted as he glared at you from the driver’s seat.

“Asshole.”

“Brat.”

What was supposed to be a relaxing date was turning into anything but that. You had come roughly 30 minutes later than everyone else, which meant that there was little to no parking, with people walking around left and right, significantly slowing down Levi’s ability to drive around. You were already exasperated after having to essentially drag Levi out of the apartment to come with you on an event that you thought would be helpful for him in terms of destressing. However, both of your stress levels were only increasing. You couldn’t really blame it on the people either. It was a popular spring festival. Of course there were going to be a shitton of people. Still, you’d have a much better time if you were able to make your way through the crowd without having to bump into someone every five minutes or so.

Levi looped around the parking lot directly by the food trucks for another ten minutes before completely giving up and heading towards a parking lot that was further out. It meant a bit of a longer walk to get to the food truck stands, but you had no other choice. There were already too many people here. He debated dropping you off so you could save a spot in line at the food trucks while he struggled to find parking, but the prospect of getting separated in this excessively crowded field sounded even more distressing.

The fact that the night had started out like this meant that this date might become a shitshow, but you were determined to make good on your promise to help Levi destress, although you were beginning to feel quite stressed yourself. You took a deep breath as you stepped out of the car, oriented yourself so that you knew which direction the food trucks were, and began to lead the way.

With how far out you had parked, the crowd was a bit more spread out. However, that quickly changed as you got closer and closer to the food truck procession. Levi didn’t say anything, but you could basically feel how tense he was from the sheer amount of people that you were forced to walk past.

“Why the fuck are there so many people already?” he grumbled quietly to himself, shoving his hands in his pockets, with his shoulders hunched forward as if he was trying to hide himself.

“You’ve gone to plenty of parties with me that had just as many people in a smaller space,” you reminded him.

“Only to make sure you don’t get into stupid shit like usual,” he retorted, which earned him a slight shove from you in retaliation. 

You were vaguely able to tell that making conversation with him was helping him relax, so you walked up next to him, weaving your fingers through his. It was a gesture that was comforting to you, too. You were able to ground each other which, given how chaotic this festival was quickly becoming, was something that was much needed. 

Once you finally got to the food trucks, you saw an exasperated look appear in Levi’s eyes once he saw the amount of people gathered. He figured that he had seen the extent of the crowd as he was driving around, but that was clearly not the case as he found himself staring at the densely packed mob of people. 

There were lines of around 10-20 people at every single truck. All this meant was that you’d be forced to stand in line no matter which one you went to. Your eyes scanned the lineup of trucks, trying to figure out which one was the most worth standing in a long line for, although it was difficult to see the full lineup given how short you were and how many people there were. Things were getting more frustrating by the second.

“If you go for the hot dog stand, I’m leaving you here.”

You blinked at him for a few seconds, now distracted from your search, before you felt heat rise up into your cheeks as you looked away, slightly embarrassed that he was referring to that one time when you had gotten lost, and he found you wandering around by a hot dog stand.

“Don’t be a dick,” you mumbled, slightly sticking your bottom lip out into a pout, shoving at him gently again.

“Just pick a truck, dumbass.”

~~~~~

You wandered through the entire procession of food trucks, with part of you hoping to run into one that didn’t have dozens of people in line. Frustrated, you pushed through the crowd to a nearby picnic table, climbing on top of it so you could finally get a better view of the lineup.

Literally every single food truck had a line too overwhelming for you to fully comprehend. The good news was that some lines were moving much faster than others, with some being at a standstill and others having a steady flow forward. You noticed a truck representing a local sandwich shop that you’ve tried only once or twice before. You vaguely remembered Levi picking up sandwiches from there when you went to the beach over the summer.

“Wanna get Sammy’s?” you shouted over to Levi, pointing over to a food truck at the end of the line-up with a sign of a giant tuna sandwich plastered onto the side of the truck. 

Levi was already at one of the nearby tables that wasn’t surrounded entirely by people, having reserved it for the two of you to sit at whenever you were finally able to get your hands on some food. 

You vaguely saw his lips moving as he spoke, but there was too much background noise. Upon reading his lips, you could vaguely tell that he was trying to say something like “just get the damned sandwich”.

You finally embarked on your journey through the crowd over to the end of the lineup where the Sammy’s truck was located. Getting to the line itself was a hassle. There were people wandering around in every direction, on top of the people waiting in the lines, and half of them were too distracted to notice that you were trying to make your way through them to get to the food truck that you were now fixated on ordering from.

Fidgeting with your credit card, you impatiently waited in line. Thankfully, it was still moving fairly quickly, making sure that you didn’t have to stand still for more than a few seconds at a time. However, it still felt like forever before you were able to walk up to the tired-looking cashier to order. 

They could barely hear you, and you could barely hear them, making it so that you weren’t even sure if they wrote down the right order for you. Not wanting to cause any further inconvenience for someone that was already being overworked, you just nodded, and gave them your card, making sure to leave a generous tip as you signed off on the digital receipt. Within the next ten minutes, you finally had your precious sandwiches.

You held onto the sandwiches for dear life as you fought your way through the crowd again to get back to Levi, more than exasperated once you were finally able to sit down. You couldn’t believe that it took this much effort just to get your hands on these mediocre-sized sandwiches. However, having ordered from Sammy’s before, at least you knew that the taste and quality would be good.

You passed Levi his sandwich.

“Grabbed you a shitton of napkins,” you mentioned, pulling out a considerably sized bunch of napkins that you took from the condiment stand, having noticed Levi’s knack for grabbing stacks of napkins at restaurants, and placing them onto the table. “Figured you’d need them—or start bitching about them if I didn’t grab them.”

“Tch. You’re so dramatic,” Levi grumbled with a frown on his face as he took the bundle of napkins from you, unfolding and laying one out in front of him and setting his sandwich down on it.

“Am I wrong?”

“The glove compartment’s empty,” he reasoned, although he knew that this reason alone couldn’t explain where he had picked up this habit from. He couldn’t name a single other person that purposefully held napkins in the glove compartment of their car for if they ever ran into the unfortunate situation of having people eat in their car, something that most people do regularly. Levi knew that the whole thing was due to his fixation on keeping things spotless, dirt and dust-free, and most importantly, clean .

He looked back over to you and saw you stare at him with a raised eyebrow, clearly not buying his reasoning.

“Whatever,” he grumbled as he began unwrapping his sandwich.

“It’s okay, it’s one of the things I like about you,” you said quietly, leaning closer towards him. “Even if it’s extra.”

It was subtle, but you were close enough to see that the slightest hint of color appeared on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. This was the first time that anyone’s talked about this trait of his in a positive manner since before his mother passed. Usually it just involved snide remarks mixed in with some invalidating comment about how his disdain for filthy things was too extreme and unnecessary.

From his reaction, you knew that you struck some chord within him, but he didn’t seem particularly upset by it. The fact that he ended up blushing only further confirmed the type of impact your comment could have had on him. After a while, he noticed you staring at him and grimaced.

“Just eat your goddamn sandwich.”

~~~~~

The sandwich was ultimately barely worth the line and price, but food was food, and you recognized the vendor, so there was at least some value in waiting in that dreadful line.

You headed back towards Levi as you threw your wrappers away, looking in the direction of where the fireworks were supposed to be shot from. There was a small procession of people wandering in that general direction while carrying lawn chairs and picnic blankets. You didn’t even have to glance at Levi to notice how tense he had gotten upon noticing the amount of people that the two of you would have to walk through.

You knew that he had a general dislike for crowds, but you didn’t realize that it was this bad. He had gone to parties with you before and sifted through crowds with you before, so you didn’t think too much of it, but it seemed to be bugging him much more than usual today. Granted, at least at parties, he didn’t have to move around as much, so that could have been a significant factor as to why he was reacting more. His heightened baseline stress from his struggles with his research update could also be exacerbating the amount of stress he was experiencing.

Grabbing at his hand, you nodded your head in the direction of a route that seemed to lead up the hill overlooking the fireworks, instead of the route that everyone else was taking that led to the bottom of the hill to be as close as possible to the fireworks that were shooting from across the bay. You slowly led him through the crowd until you reached the route that didn’t have as many people, relaxing once you saw his shoulders release some of the tension that he had been holding in them throughout your time at the food truck stands.

The route itself was fairly pleasant, but you failed to take into account that in order to get to the top of the hill, you’d have to climb to the top of the hill.

You tried to hide how out of breath you were by the time you reached the top. Although you didn’t regret choosing this alternative seating location, you cursed at yourself for not putting the pieces together that you’d have to laboriously drag your body up the somewhat steeply sloped terrain.

As a result, although you were the one that originally led Levi in this direction, he ended up walking ahead of you, with your pace slowing down from getting tired. You stopped to catch your breath, placing your hands on your thighs as you leaned over, trying to summon the energy to scale the remainder of the hill.

Levi snorted as he looked down at you before circling back behind you. After you were done catching your breath, he promptly placed his hand on your back and began pushing you up the hill, just like he did during your camping trip in November.

“Don’t start,” you scolded in a tired and exasperated tone.

“Didn’t say anything,” he muttered, although the edge of his lips was slightly curled up into a cocky smirk. “Just keep walking.”

You were tempted to collapse directly onto the ground once you finally made it to the top. There were significantly less people in this area and it gave you a good birds-eye view of the fireworks. 

Instead, you wandered a bit, trying to find a nice patch of grass to sit on, before finally pulling out the picnic blanket that you had packed in your bag and laying it out on the ground so that neither of you had to sit directly on the ground.

“Being out here means the fireworks won’t be as obnoxiously loud, so I guess it’s a win-win situation,” you rationalized as you took off your shoes and sat down on the blanket, finally able to give your legs a break, scooching to the side so that Levi had room to sit next to you. You pulled your knees up to your chest once you both got settled in. 

You looked over at him and saw that he was also looking in your direction. He was propping himself up with his arms behind him and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, having gotten warm after eating and walking. Your eyes flashed down to his forearms and noticed how his rolled-up sleeves were just a little too tight. You felt your cheeks heating up—you were always weak for his arms. 

“...thanks for coming with me on this,” you said quietly.

“Didn’t you force me to come?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, you provided little resistance.”

“Because you were going to be a pain in the ass for the entire day if I did.”

“Jokes on you, you say I’m always a pain in the ass.”

“This is true,” he muttered with a subtle shrug, which prompted you to stick your tongue out at him again. 

His eyebrows scrunched together into a frown as he once again flicked at your forehead in retaliation.

“...you’re welcome,” he eventually said, sitting forward so that he could see your face better. 

You leaned against him, resting your head on his shoulder, before straightening out your legs and weaving your fingers through his, effectively hugging his arm. He leaned his head down to the side so that it was resting against yours. You smiled to yourself as you felt him against you, content with watching the people at the bottom of the hill gather and get settled for the fireworks show that was about to start.

The horizon gradually transitioned from the warm orange hue that seemed to hug the setting sun to a deep and dark blue as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, officially signaling the fireworks show to start. 

The sky was soon littered with vibrant colors as fireworks were shot up and set off in the air. You were far away enough that it wasn’t obnoxiously loud or bright, but you were still able to appreciate the entire spectrum of colors, particularly from the fireworks that changed colors mid-explosion.

Even after the show ended, the two of you remained seated on the picnic blanket. It’d be easier to walk to the car once the crowd was gone. Plus, you were simply enjoying his presence. You had originally proposed this date to help Levi destress, but you were needing this as well. Although you were close to finishing your light novel, graduation was quickly approaching, making every minute that you spent not writing seem like precious time wasted. However, spending time with Levi in a setting that wasn’t at home, and had nothing to do with school, helped your mind reset, and allowed you space away from responsibilities and obligations.

After about 20 minutes, you began your walk back to his car. You took a route that was running along the side of a lake. Now that there weren’t as many people, you couldn’t help but sigh and appreciate the stillness of the water, the area around you completely silent except for some crickets that provided background noise. The lights that had turned on post-sunset reflected off the water, and almost looked like a mirror image with how still the water stood.

“...sorry if the festival was kind of a shitshow,” you mumbled after a while.

“Shitshow?” Levi questioned as he glanced over at you.

“Just the amount of people,” you began, looking down at the ground as you spoke. “I know you’re not a fan of crowds, and the line to the food trucks was stupidly long, not to mention that we had to park all the way out here.”

You looked over at him when he didn’t immediately respond, beginning to feel slightly anxious over whether he had actually enjoyed your time together or not.

“There were going to be a shitton of people regardless,” he muttered.

“That’s fair,” you mused with a small chuckle. “Still, thanks for coming.”

He turned his head so that he was looking right into your eyes, the corner of his lips tugging up into a slight smile. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you saw the affectionate look in his eyes and you weaved your arm around his so that you were hugging his arm for the rest of the walk back to the car. It was a gesture of comfort to be up against him, but it was also a good opportunity to hide the bashful look in your eyes.

“Thanks I guess for dragging me out,” he eventually said with a sigh. “Sometimes you being annoying isn’t always a bad thing.”

You gasped in feign surprise at his comment and you slightly leaned to the side so you could look at him again.

“A compliment ?! Who are you?!” 

Levi immediately rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Nevermind. You’re still as annoying as ever,” he grumbled, barely able to finish his sentence before you wrapped your arms around his neck and planted your lips against his in a quick, but prolonged enough kiss to shut him up.

“And you love me for it,” you whispered once you finally pulled away after feeling him relax into the kiss.

You were close enough that you couldn’t visually notice the pink tint on Levi’s cheeks and ears, but you were able to tell from the way he looked into your eyes. It was gentle, soft, and communicated nothing but affection. It was the same look that he gave you that one evening on the ferris wheel ride when you had contemplated kissing him for the first time.

“I do,” he whispered, before closing the distance between you two and connecting his lips with yours again, silently grateful that you dragged him out to this over-crowded event that he normally would have hated, but ultimately ended up enjoying simply due to having you by his side.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @v4mp-wife @moonchild-angel @astri-ackerman @auriuswolve @noctemys @you-always-made-me-blush @raginginferno267 @sugurusdiscordmoderator @jennamelinda12 @noodlejitsu

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

HAppy Lunar New Year 🐍🥚 . . . i had some mysterious dream ,

i had 3 dreams, I cant remember two of them Ohhhh how I wish I Could Because i know they were very intense. I only remember the 2nd dream Nestled inbetween. I remember it because It occured in a brief sleep, somewhere between 4-6am, when the new moon was exact (5am My Time)(I know this because when I first woke up Slimbo was gettng ready for their job which they do at 4am, And Then when i woke up from this dream, it was still dark but Slimbo's mom had the TV on in the basement, Signalling she is getting ready for work, Around 6am)(This was also peculiar because I don't often wake up twice in a night anymore. Just once usually)

+ OK so the beginning might have Me sounding like a lunatic even more than usual but hear me out: So i was watching Nicki Minaj getting ready for some kind of extravagant event. + I'll get it out of the way now, I'm going to reveal something about Myself here, I have Virgo Moon, and Nicki Minaj is also Virgo Moon, I have known this for over a decade because i was a HUUUUGE Nicki fan in the early 2010s, So in my mind to this day She is strongly associated with /VirgoMoon/ , So i feel that in this dream, She was a stand-in representation for my own Virgo Moon , And i'm not going to spend paragraphs going into moon symbolism, iykyk + Nicki Minaj finds out someone is trying to assassinate her + Cut to me, standing in some old cobblestone streets, looking like Victorian era Europe Type of thing, it's night, the ground is wet & shiny + There's a big crash, people rushing towards the source of the sound. I turn a corner, see an overturned carriage, a few people lying on the ground, and a brown horse all twisted, contorted, it's staring right at me with it's big eyes, it almost looks serene In the face, I feel such overwhelming sadness for the horse + Everyone is saying Oh My God Nicki Minaj has been killed in the accident! + I am able to go third person mode, back to Nicki Minaj, who has escaped her assassination attempt, using a decoy to take the fall in the accident.

+ Now I Am in a car. My mom & stepdad are driving but they are somehow behind me & my sister. The front seats are empty. My sister looks very young and playful and happy. + My Sister is not wearing a seatbelt. I tell her to put one on. She refuses. I start getting so angry Like a child. I say to her, I say, "You put that seatbelt on Right Fucking Now Or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass." + She puts on the seatbelt with a face like :|. I feel better. At some point she teleports into the front seat, passenger side. The drive is pleasant.

+ We arrive at a wide river, at sunset. I guess we are going to camp in this area, or something. + There's a brown haired woman I don't recognize standing knee-deep in the river. She has two bald eagles tied to a thin plastic thread, almost like She's flying them as kites. + At first i think this is cruel but I am informed these eagles were injured in the wild & she is rehabilitating them to learn To fly again. + The eagles are swooping down into the water to catch fish. When they go underwater I am able to see them from the underwater perspective. I manage to take an underwater picture of this with my Camera.

+ I am laying down, still at the riverside. My boyfriend from 2015/16 is laying next to me, extremely still, we are holding hands. + When i see this boyfriend in dreams, what he represents to me is Capricorn/Saturn. + The woman with the eagles walks over to us. She starts putting her ear to different places on his body, like she's listening for something. all the points she listens to are in the center, along the spine, so in the dream I am thinking it's like, his chakras. + She said 4 things but I only remember two. At his root chakra she says, "That was quite the car accident". A little higher, around solar plexus, she says, "Everyone around you had their heart closed. You couldn't trust your own feelings." + I am still just laying holding his hand & watching. i wake up

it has me really wondering. The dream stayed with me vividly, even after i fell back asleep. The moon & saturn (mother & father) imagery, that axis, gives me strong past life feelings. See I have had this Theory, This inclination, for a long time, that in one of my past lives, I died from a car accident. I don't know why I Always felt this way other than the obvious That i am TERRified of learning to drive it has always made me sick to my stomach & no matter how desolate a location I am Living I just can't bring myself to do it. The imagery of the horse-drawn carriage crash hundred of years ago also was very strange to witness in this dream. Like this is an OLD wound.

it could also be something else Maybe it's not meant to be taken so literally A car crash in A dream Could mean many things such as, loss of control. I usually just see my dreams as metaphor but when i woke up from This one my first feeling was like,, Past Life? Did I finally get A clue? the saturn, the moon, i wonder . . .

either way it was Really vivid i'm glad i got to record it and mull it over some more.

[youknowwhoiamassbutt]

You never know what your comment could mean to someone, so if you liked a fic, comment on it.

I'm about to tell a story with a lot of emotional baggage, so scroll past if you don't want to read mentions of suicidal ideation.

With that warning out of the way, let's get into it:

When I was in my first year of college, I was struggling. We were in the midst of the pandemic, I was not receiving the help I desperately needed with my disabilities (nor did I know what help I needed), and I hadn't yet cut my abuser out of my life. I spent every waking moment of my life that year doing schoolwork. I woke up and did my homework until I either finished my homework at some ungodly hour, or I just couldn't take it any longer and had to go to sleep. I was consistently staying up until 2-4am every night, having meltdowns almost every night.

My mental health took a nosedive, so right when I hit rock bottom, I rewatched Miss Peregrines Home for Peculiar Children, in hopes that it would give me a world to escape into. I needed that hit of hard and fast dopamine that obsessing over a new fandom gives you. My plan worked, and I fell in hard. Every moment that wasn't spent on homework was spent thinking about this universe.

I decided to write a fanfiction for it. I had a clear image of how I saw Enoch, and didn't see anyone else exploring that same concept in fanfiction (he reminded me of my CPTSD AUDHD childhood self, or at least, what I could have grown up to be). I set time aside to write it. At 12am every night, I would drop what I was doing, regardless of if I had finished it or not, and I would start writing or editing. I would write from 12am-3am every night until the story was finished.

Writing that story gave my life structure and meaning, it gave me a reason to keep living. No matter how bad my day was, no matter how exhausted my neurodivergent brain was, no matter how much I wanted to die, I always had that story to look forward to, to keep me going through the day just to get to that little light at the end. It saved my life.

To this day, that story is my most popular in the statistics section of Ao3. I still get people commenting on it. And no matter how short those comments are, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of them is a reminder that I made it through; that every day of making the conscious choice to keep going, I made the right decision. Every comment is validation that the work I put in wasn't for nothing.

Even though the people reading didn't know everything that I went through in order to write that story, they didn't know the weeks I spent on it, or the pain I was trying to escape, my story still meant something to them. My story impacted them like it impacted me.

Seeing that people appreciated and still appreciate a work that I poured everything I had into...there are no words to describe how incredibly validating that feels. Every comment is a reminder that I survived. Every comment tells me that my life had and still has meaning. And that's not even getting into the part where I was struggling with my disabilities so much back then (many revolving around reading), and therefore people enjoying this work despite my disabilities, and many relating to the storyline around my other disabilities was even more validation that I wasn't and am not broken.

If you enjoy a fic, please comment to let the author know. Sure, it may mean nothing more than a quick hit of dopamine that someone enjoyed their story, but sometimes, it might be a profound declaration you have no idea about. It doesn't have to be a long comment, any comment at all could be the difference between someone feeling like they waisted their time, and them feeling completely justified in their entire existence. One of the comments I like to default to when my brain is blanking is "This fic was great! Thanks for sharing it!"

Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it this far. I just think commenting is so important and I hope this story helps people understand how profound their words can be, even when they're as simple as "loved this!"