#I wish things would just feel okay again.

[lananiscorner]

Reblogging this version and stealing the tags as well:

#i realized this when I was following#gen padalecki#she was talking about the garden#and livestock#and book clubs#and doing so many things with the boys#and i realized that if she had to work#like i have to work#and didn't have the money to hire people to do shit#she couldn't do all of that either#and then i unfollowed her#because it wasn't relevant to me#and was just making me feel bad about myself#even though i knew we were not on the same boat#she's in a yacht#and i'm in a rowboat#and you can't compare the two

This is so important, especially when it comes to body image.

If you ever find yourself looking at someone and thinking "damn, I wish I was as slim and toned as that insta model" or "damn, I wish I was built like that Navy Seal dude"... remember that this is literally PART OF THEIR JOB. You can't be an insta model without being slim and you can't be a spec ops soldier without being in excellent, buff shape. And as a result, people like that spend A LOT of hours in the gym. Like, a lot A LOT. And no, not off hours, after already working for 8+ hours a day like you with your desk job. If you are trying to emulate people like that while not being in that job, you are essentially trying to do two jobs at once. And that ain't a sustainable way to live (you can make it work, but good grief, at what cost...)

And any time you look at someone rich enough to afford somebody else to do their cooking and cleaning and child care? Dial your own expectations way the hell down, because those are freaking time sinks. There's a reason rich people hire other people to do that shit for them (because it's work--and unless you are rich it's work you HAVE TO do for free, because cooking is kind of important for eating and cleaning is kind of important for being healthy and if you don't take care of your kids they have a high risk of ending up dead).

I would also add to this that sometimes it really is too late/impossible to strive for something that you would like to be your top priority. I have asthma and I'm nearing 40. Even if I started working out right now, with the same diet and exercise regimen as a soldier, I would not be able to get that level of fitness, because 1) my lungs aren't build for that and 2) aging is a thing and my body's prime days are over.

And that sucks. Realizing that there are legit, unchangeable roadblocks to things you would like to make your priority SUCKS. And it's okay to be angry and frustrated about that for a while, and to grieve the opportunities you wish you had but never will. It's perfectly fine and normal and healthy. So long as you remember that grief is not a place to be forever. Life goes on. There's more beauty to find in the world and so much more to live for rather than wallowing in sadness forever.

So, if you find yourself with something that you want to make your priority, but cannot, for circumstances outside of your control, ask yourself "okay, but how much do I have to dial back the intensity to make it work and still have it be a top goal?"

One of my goals for this year is to go swimming again. I used to do that competitively. I would love to get back to that same level of intensity again, but 1) I am getting old, 2) I have a full-time job, and 3) it's not something I can just do at home anytime I want--I have to take a bus to the city swimming pool to get there and they ain't open 24/7. So no, I will not be swimming again with the same regularity and intensity as before, but I will try to find a time window that will work with my job and the commute and the opening hours and I will take as much swimming as I can get, because good grief, I miss the water.

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

[acoazlove]

A New Place | part five

Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Summary: A couple of weeks after your conversation with Azriel, your mind won’t let you sleep. what happens when the person on your mind can’t sleep either

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst, Fluff ? maybe?

─────────────────────────

Eyes flutter open, blinking a few times to reorient yourself. Adjusting to the dark room. You turn your head towards the windows, dark. Still nighttime.

With a heavy sigh, you heave yourself out of bed. Waking up hasn’t been such a task since you were human. Living in that cabin—if you can call it that. Waking up back then was simpler.

But since you left your sisters and the rest of their family, you can’t bring yourself to care if you don't get out of bed ever again.

Pulling the covers off of you, sliding out of bed. Your feet meet the chilled floor while making your way blindly into the bathroom. Turning on a dim faelight.

Everything about your apartment is old, and worn down and you used to think it gave it character, made it unique. But as you look at the light you can’t help but wish it was the old cabin. Life was easier back then, no fae, no wars, no monsters, no evil kings or cauldrons, but most of all, you had your sisters. Of course you were all on the verge of starving or freezing to death. You don’t miss that.

Despite the fighting, you were all closer. Now everyone’s gone their separate ways and have their own families and partners. You don't have any of that. That thought breaks you from your reverie, turning to the mirror hanging above the sink. The edges are slightly rusted and the frame is a bit scratched.

Locking eyes with your reflection, you cringe. Dark shadows under your eyes, hair messy and frizzy as if you hadn’t brushed it in days, shoulders tense with undercurrents of your strained emotions. You look exactly how you feel. Tired.

Ignore it. A small voice in the back of your mind. You turn the tap and splash water on your face. There’s no going back to sleep so might as well do something.

Turning back and entering your bedroom, heading straight for your wardrobe. Putting on the first thing you grab. Staring in the mirror for a moment too long, you grimace once again at your reflection. How long had you looked a mess? Your friends would tell you if you didn’t look okay. Right?

With a heavy sigh, you exited your room. Passing the kitchen—you’re not feeling well, you’ll eat later, you tell yourself—and go straight to the front door, grabbing your coat as you glance at the clock on the wall by the door. 4:00 am, no wonder everything’s so quiet.

Without another thought, you slip out the door. You can’t be in that apartment for another moment. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you decide to clear your mind and go for a walk. Because walking down dark streets at 4:00 am is totally normal.

You miss the small shadow slipping under the door, following you. A second one going in the opposite direction, away from you.

─

Meandering down the streets of The City of Starlight, your thoughts wander despite trying to clear your head.

Wandering to a certain shadow-wielding Illyrian. Your conversation had been two weeks ago now. You wanted to talk to him again. or at least just see him.

You huff. Where had that thought come from? I mean he was kind enough to go for a walk with you and listen to you rant.

But he hadn’t exactly offered to be the company you’d seek out, but you’ve been lonely. You’re not sure if you’re ready to forgive your family just yet. You want to, but you won’t reach out first. They need to put in the effort for once.

Surprisingly—or unsurprisingly you should think—there are a few fae still wandering the streets. Maybe they were in your position too. Can’t sleep, and might just need to clear their mind, and get some night-chilled air

The Court of Dreams. It honestly doesn’t feel like it. You don’t feel like you’re dreaming. Nor had any of your own dreams had come true. It felt more like a nightmare.

Alone. All because your family forgot your birthday. You think bitterly. But then again, the more you think about it, you find more reasons that had been chipping away at your patience with them. It just happened to explode into a huge freakout on your birthday. The last straw.

They probably thought you were being overdramatic. You kick a small stone on the ground in front of you at that.

─

Tossing and turning, wings shifting uncomfortably, azriel grunts as he clenches his eyes shut. Trying to get some sleep for once, only for it to be just out of reach.

It’s like his mind was in overdrive—every thought shifting to another even more unwanted one—making him restless, which in time made his shadows restless. The main issue was that they weren’t telling him what was wrong. he doesn’t like that.

Finally, as his body relaxed and he was so close to falling asleep a new shadow joins the mix. Immediately slithering across his bed until it reached his ear. The information he received had him shooting up from where he had been lying down, and every last ounce of tiredness drained from his body.

She’s going for a walk. He glanced out his window. With how high the moon was in the sky he gathered that it was around four in the morning-

Why are you going for a walk at this time?

With a huff, knowing he won’t be able to sleep at all now, he pulls the blankets off him at the same time as sending a few more shadows to follow you, to make sure you’re okay and not in any danger of course.

Azriel hasn’t been able to get the conversation he had with you either. Well, it was more him listening as you spoke your mind, plus him apologising a few times and getting some of his thoughts out there. Or maybe it was just you in general. He can’t quite figure it out.

Now that he was out of bed he realized he didn’t actually know what he was planning to do with the situation. You’re going for a walk at four in the morning. You won’t want company. Besides, he already sent a few shadows. That should be fine.

The rest of Azriel’s shadows whirl around him, still agitated. Wanting him to do something, but still not telling him what. A long-suffering sigh leaves him, as he turns to look at his leathers, which are hanging over the back of the chair at his desk—thrown there after a long day—then back to the window.

He’s been staying in the townhouse since his last encounter with you, to make it easier for you if you want to seek him out and don’t want to see the rest of the family. Which you haven't. Why would you?

He also has a better view of the streets of Velaris from here. Which is why he sees a figure walk down the street, heading towards the sidra. Though he can’t see their face, he doesn’t need confirmation to know who it is. The posture, the way your shoes scuff when you walk while in thought, the way your hair falls with your head down.

Nevertheless, a shadow snakes up his arm, to his ear. Sad. Confused. Angry. Guilty. Lonely. The last word repeats over and over.

Azriel’s features contort into a frown. Watching as you disappear from view, having turned a corner. And without a second thought, he put on a change of clothes—deciding that if you do see him, his leathers possibly might make you uncomfortable, might think that there’s some kind of danger—opening up the balcony doors, stepping out and launching into the starry night sky. Following the direction you went, keeping a decent distance.

As he catches sight of you once again, slows down, descending to the ground. Landing as silent as he could for a massive Illyrian male.

Azriel steps into the shadows, trying to stay out of view and give you space.

He stands there feeling slightly awkward suddenly. Never has he felt that way about watching his family. Confused and caught off guard he misses the way his grip on his shadows loosens, most of which scramble their way over to you.

Already reaching your feet before he finally realizes, much to his horror. Frantically trying to yank them back to his own body.

─

Your train of thought is interrupted by small shadows softly brushing against your ankles before, slinking up your legs and entwining with your fingers. A soft smile curves your lips, as a scuff sounds from behind you.

“Hi Az.” your voice is soft. Looking over your shoulder, at the same time as he steps out from his hiding place. And even though it’s dark and void of any street lamp where you are, the stars and moon light his face enough for you to see the pink tinge to his cheeks. The sight brings you far more enjoyment than it should.

“Sorry.” he mutters lowly, watching the shadows almost reluctantly untangle itself from your fingers and body, returning to their master. “They have a mind of their own sometimes.”

Your smile widens ever so slightly, “It’s okay,” turning back to your beautiful view of the sidra, shimmering like the stars above. “I like them. They’re good company.”

Azriel blinks a few times, dumbfounded by your admission. You like them and think they’re good company. Not many think so. A lot of people perceive them differently. Not inherently scary, but wouldn’t consider them good company.

After a long moment he gathers himself. “Would you-” he stops himself mid-sentence, mouth snapping shut before the full question is out. But rather than running in the other direction like he assumed you would, you turned to face him, “Yes, I would like company Azriel.” That certainly caught him off guard.

You aren’t quite sure where the confidence came from. Cheeks tinting pink, gaze darting back to the sparkling sapphire river. You don’t even know if he was going to say that.

Right as you prepare yourself to leave, utterly mortified, his dark figure enters your peripheral.

Shoulders still stiff from the previous embarrassment you look out the corner of your eye. Thanking the mother when you see that his attention is elsewhere.

Your gaze casts downward, suddenly feeling awkward, you clear your throat, causing the Shadowsinger's attention to shift back to you.

Shifting between your feet, turning your head slightly to glance at him, “Uh…” Unsure.

You watch a shadow crawl around from his shoulder to his ear. a twitch between his brows at whatever information he had been given, before evening back out. Body turning fully toward you. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Your eyes widen marginally. “No!” you say all too quickly, rubbing a hand down your face. “No, I’m just not-” gaze meeting hazel, “I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go for a walk?” Voice quieter than before, “Rather than just standing here.” Trailing off.

His wings twitch at his back, you barely catch the movement, before he gives a gentle nod. You give him a small smile before whirling around, and heading back through the streets of Velaris. Azriel and his shadows follow closely behind before coming up next to you.

The walk settles into silence. Not awkward like before. Comfortable. That’s something you’d noticed about Azriel from the moment you first met him in the human realms. He always let others talk and listened intently to every word. Contributing to the conversation only when needed.

Your thoughts drift to every interaction with him. He’d always been observant and encouraged conversations with you. Wanting you to feel comfortable. Similar to what happened with Elain a long while ago. Except he’s never had any romantic feelings for you. He was just being polite. Just as he is now.

You ignore the turn in your thoughts. Weird. And your destination is only a few steps away. The bridge above the sidra. The place you come to when you really need some kind of white noise to clear your head.

You lean forward, over the bridge peering down at the broad sparkling river. Almost mirroring the beauty of the stars above. You feel Azriel settle next to you on the bridge. Twist your head to look at him. He’s looking up at the sky, shadows swirling contentedly around his shoulders and wings.

You take a moment to look at him. Really look at him. You always knew he was handsome, would have to be blind not to. But in the moonlight, he’s stunning. The way his dark hair falls over his forehead, shadows cast over his eyebrows, his other features highlighted. His hands resting on the bridge wall, the lighting illuminating the ridges and crevices of his scars.

Just in the corner of your vision, you see the sun starting to rise, pinks and oranges, painting the previous starlit skies. It was views like these that make you wonder what the other courts are like. The Night Court obviously has exceptionally beautiful night skies, the stars so clear you might think one could reach up and touch them.

But then there were The Dawn Court’s dawn skies. A customer at Benny’s Bar once told you that when the sun rose in dawn it was one of the most breathtaking views one could see, that you had to see it at least once in your immortal life.

The Day Court had some of the most incredible libraries filled with immense knowledge. Something you’d like to see and explore at least once too.

The seasonal courts had to be amazing as well, you hadn’t heard too much about them except Mor saying how much she loved The Winter Court because of her best friend and how beautiful the snow is, and briefly of Summer from when Varian is around with Amren. And Spring, well Feyre and Rhysand don’t like talking about The Spring Court, so you never asked. The same goes for The Autumn Court.

You feel a cool brush of Azriel’s shadows against your hand, pulling you from your longing, wrapping around your wrist almost as if to comfort. You let out a heavy sigh, your walk must have been longer than you anticipated. Originally just hoping to clear your head, and tire yourself out before going back to sleep.

You have work anyway. Early shift, which is fine, you get to finish early in turn.

Turning to the Shadowsinger, “I should head home. I have work earlier today.” You fiddle with your fingers, not wanting to to head back to your apartment just yet. Back to the tavern. You haven’t talked to your coworkers much since the inner circle dined at the tavern.

Azriel gives a small nod, watching your features for a few moments before speaking, “Would you like me to walk you home?”

without hesitation you give him a nod in answer. “yes please.” Your answer soft.

He gives you a gentle smile before turning with you to leave.

─

Standing at the bottom of the stairs to your apartment you run a hand down your face. Azriel is quiet behind you. You huff, spinning on your heel to face him. Trying to find the words to what you want to ask him.

He’s patient as always, features kind. Allowing you to sort through your thoughts.

Inhaling sharply, you open your mouth, then close it again. Frustrated, you just blurt it out instead, “Would you like to do something once I finish work today?”

Azriel’s brows raise fractionally, and your face heats up. “of course only if you’re free, or even want to. If you don’t want to that’s okay-“ You pause your rambling when you see the subtle smirk curving his lips.

“What?” You cross your arms over your chest. He huffs out a laugh. “You didn’t even give me a chance to answer,” keen eyes, observant as ever, see you shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable from the lack of an actual answer. “I would like that. I’ll come by and you can decide.” Voice more quiet than before.

You give him a curt nod, happy with the response, turning toward your stairs once more, stopping at the top step, looking over your shoulder to the Shadowsinger, “Thank you az.” At the tilt of his head you continue, “For just… showing up, I guess. I appreciate it.” Smile at him and slip through your door before he can reply.

Azriel stares at the closed door for a few long moments before heading back to the townhouse. His shadows far more calm now. Interesting.

─────────────────────────

a/n: Hi guys, I’m so so sorry that I took so long to post this but I was in a really bad writing slump and had other stuff going on in my life. I’m better right now and am planning on writing more. I know this isn’t the longer part that I asked you about but I just wanted to get this out, and it would’ve taken longer to come out. i’ve already started the next part as well. next week I probably won’t update just because I’m going to Australia with my sister for a week but you never know. Anyway I edited this but there still might be some mistakes. I love you all and thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoyed. <3

[navybrat817]

For v day prompts, I keep coming back to God the bounty hunter taking his girlfriend to a nice restaurant and she gets food poisoning. Because I have food poisoning from my works cafeteria and I wish I was dead. I also started my period today

I hope you feel better, lovely!

Wired Differently

Pairing: God the Bounty Hunter x Female Reader

Summary: God just wanted to take you out for a nice dinner.

Word Count: Over 410

Warnings: Established relationship, mention of food poisoning, threat of violence (not against the reader), God the Bounty Hunter (he's a warning and a little awkward, okay?)

A/N: Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

God knew how to handle many things, but you being sick wasn't one of them. Seeing you curled up and in pain made him restless. Unsure. It was something he couldn’t control, and he didn’t believe he had a comforting bone in his body to make you feel any better. The urge to kill came forward because that was something he had a degree of control over, but he couldn't exactly scratch that itch since you didn't want him to leave. He didn't want to leave your side either. Not while you were in pain that he couldn’t take away.

“Our romantic dinner should’ve been different,” he muttered, placing the cool washcloth on your warm forehead. “Not this.”

Dinner was something couples did for dates and the restaurant was nice. He checked. But, no, when he tried to give you a sense of normalcy you got food poisoning. The only reason he didn’t get sick was because he ordered something completely different.

“I know,” you tried to smile, but you grimaced from what was likely another wave of pain before you curled back up again in the fetal position. “Not your fault.”

God blinked once. Twice. “I can kill him,” he offered.

He wondered if anyone would miss the cook if he took him out. Making a body disappear was like second nature to him. He could make it hurt, too.

That was romantic, right?

He saw from the twitch in your lips that wanted to laugh. It would've sounded crazy or downright scary to anyone else, but not you. He was just wired differently and you understood that. It was one of the reasons why he loved you. Love wasn’t something he gave easily or freely, but you more than earned it.

“No killing. Not today.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “So, what do I do?” he asked. He gave you blankets, a bucket and cloth in case you got sick, water, and a washcloth for your head. What was he missing?

Your smile was borderline sheepish when you asked, “Can you just hold me for a second?”

He wordlessly stretched out beside you and held you as gently as he was capable of. In the back of his mind he knew holding you wouldn’t take the pain away, but it would bring you comfort. He’d hold you all night if he could give you that. He still wanted to kill the cook, but that would come later.

Tonight, and every night, you were his priority.

Love and thanks for participating! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[fuctacles]

i was gonna cut it in half, but you get 2k for Valentine's Day <3

<< thirteen | 😺 | fifteen >>

Eddie asks Wayne where is a good place to make key copies, and drafts a plan. He'll go to Steph's salon, pick up her keys, make a copy for her, and drop them back before she leaves work. Just a tiny good deed from a friendly neighbour, so she doesn't have to juggle her one set between cat feeders and whatnot. 

Except Wayne sees through him immediately and throws a bucket of cold water on his enthusiasm.

"While I fully support whatever you two are doing..." He promptly raises his hand so Eddie would spare him any of the explanations brewing behind his lips. "I think this would be a little too much."

"How?" Eddie frowns, confused.

"Well, a bachelor she has just met is asking for her keys to make copies. It's a little too much too fast, don't you think?"

Eddie opens his mouth, closes it. Frowns.

"Maybe?"

"How would you feel if a new friend thought they know better how many keys you should own?" Wayne raises his eyebrows. "And took it upon themself to do it for you?"

"Okay, fine, I hear you!" Eddie groans, throwing his hands up. 

Wayne sips on his coffee, now calm enough that his nephew won't do something too stupid. 

"With that said, I too think it's silly to not have a spare."

"Thank you," Eddie murmurs, drumming his fingers against his cup. "So what do I do?"

"Buy her flowers, ever heard of it?" Wayne raises his eyebrow. 

Eddie twists his mouth, unconvinced with the idea. 

"I don't know, it sounds pretty forward..."

Wayne almost snorts his coffee out of his nose.

Eddie follows the blanket permission he got the last day and walks up to Steph's apartment around the same time. Since he felt that bringing her flowers would be too much, he settled on cookies from his favorite bakery. They could share them with coffee or tea, and it wouldn't be too weird. 

It's just...

He really hopes they could actually talk.

When he opens the doors labeled 54, he's hit with the smell of spices. Steph leans through the kitchen door to greet him.

"Hi! I'm making fried rice, do you want some?"

Eddie nods, curbing the desire to come over and kiss her.

"Yeah, it smells good." He steps into the kitchen, setting the cookies on the counter. "Can I help with something?"

Steph keeps stirring for a second, before she points to one of the cupboards.

"Take out two bowls, please?" she asks.

Eddie's been in the apartment all alone, and he's looked through Steph's stuff to some extent. Opening cupboards while she's cooking shouldn't feel as thrilling as it does. 

When she finishes the food, he grabs beers for the two of them, and they move to the the living room again, a movie already waiting to be played.

"Is Willow okay?" she asks, hovering over the play button, and Eddie's eyes couldn't go any wider. Only one lamp is left on in the room, and the TV is illuminating Steph like an angel offering him the finest pleasures in life. 

"Is the sky blue?" he shoots back. "It's one of my favorites." 

She smiles, all self satisfied and wide, like she already knew he'll love the movie. 

Eddie tilts his head, eyeing her suspiciously. 

"Did Wayne tell you?"

Steph shakes her head 'no'. 

"It was a lucky guess," she admits coyly. 

Oh, to be known like that by another human. Have someone with enough intimate knowledge of him to guess his thoughts, pick out things they know he'll like. She knows he'll like. 

Eddie does like the movie, but he wishes it was something boring so they could talk. Of course, he's also enjoying having Steph pressed against his shoulder, and the movie is a great excuse to just be in her presence, without the responsible adult communication thing. 

It's when she gets up asking if he wants another beer, when he realizes he's been too engrossed in the movie. 

"Uh, I'm not even halfway," he says, moving the bottle in his hand. 

"But are you gonna drink more?"

"Probably," he shrugs. 

She brings back another four beers, and as this time he's paying attention, he notices she's already drunk a fair amount of the one she's holding.

"Everything okay?" he asks gently. He doesn't remember Steph drinking this fast, or this much, during their previous hang-outs. And it's a weekday, too.

"Mhm, yep." She plops down next to him heavily, but even the weight of her body against him doesn't soothe his nerves. On the contrary. It's easy to tell she's already tipsy, and she's planning to have at least two more beers, including the one in her hand. 

"Not to be a buzzkill, you know..." Eddie licks his lips nervously. "But you're drinking more than usual."

She makes an amused sound, deep in her throat.

"Tell that to my high school self."

"Well, I'm telling it to my adult friend Stephanie, I don't know that other one."

Steph huffs, staring at the screen.

"Good."

At loss of what else to say, he leans back against the couch, hoping the press of their shoulders will bring her some comfort his words apparently can't. He's turning to the TV, when she speaks up.

"I have something to tell you."

Eddie's eyes immediately go back to her, but she's staring ahead. 

"Yeah?" he prompts.

"After the movie."

He's confused and worried, but since she wants him to stay, it can't be anything bad, right?

"Okay," he says, feeling anything but. All the possible confessions are going through his mind, movie forgotten. The only things he's aware of are Steph's movements when she brings up the bottle to her lips, and her muscles flex against his arm, and his own racing thoughts. 

She's going to tell him she's a lesbian just like Robin. Maybe they're secretly a long distance couple, or she has a thing with Joyce. Or she has a man in another state. A secret family, a husband? What if she has a kid? Eddie would make a good step-dad, but he wasn't planning for that any time soon. Or maybe it's way simpler than that, and she'll finally tell him to stop, that she's not interested, never was. That Eddie, a metal musician still in college, isn't worth it. 

"I wasn't born a woman."

The credits are rolling on the screen, letters forming Eddie's miserable scenarios, and he's so focused on them he barely hears Steph's words. But finally, he turns his head towards her. She's slumped next to him, picking on the label of her empty beer bottle. He's so relieved he doesn't understand what's going on.

"I know." Not his best reaction but he can't believe she's been worried about it all this time, drinking just to tell him something he's already figured out.

Steph frowns, before turning to him with glassy eyes. 

"You know?"

He points to the collage on her wall.

"You have your old photos right there?"

She stares at the display like she's seeing it for the first time in her life. Her eyes widen with the realization and she makes a sound between a snort and a groan, head falling back. 

"Of course I fucking do."

Eddie drums his fingers against his beer bottle. He still has a couple of swings left. 

"Is that what you were so worried about?"

"Of course!" She throws out her hands angrily, startling him. "It's always 'do you not want me, Steph?' and then 'ew, you have a what?' or 'i always wanted to fuck someone like that' and honestly? At this point I don't know which one is worse. So yes, I was fucking worried!" 

Steph stands up angrily, swaying a little, but she quickly catches her balance. She starts gathering the empty bottles and Eddie rushes to help before she drops any and makes a mess, but she gathers them petulantly in her arms. 

"You can go, I got this," she says dismissively. 

"I want to help," he protests, hands held out uselessly. Steph marches to the kitchen, all the bottles pressed close to her chest. Eddie quickly follows, but she safely deposits them all in the sink and stares at them, expression hidden by her hair. 

"Stop sucking up to me. I'm not something to be scratched off a bucket list."

"What?" Eddie frowns. 

Steph finally turns towards him, and now he wishes she didn't. Her eyes are sad and angry and he doesn't like them directed at him like that. 

"Is that why you kissed me? Because you knew?"

'I always wanted to fuck someone like that.'

"No. No," he protests firmly. "I liked you before that, it doesn't matter to me."

"Are you sure?" she scoffs. "You might change your mind when I get undressed."

"I highly doubt that." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I've told you I'm not deterred by d—" His eyes widen momentarily, the word lodging in his throat, but Steph only rolls her eyes with annoyance. 

"You can say 'dick'. I have a dick. I am a woman with a dick."

That's a lot of dicks for just a few words. And Eddie is trying to prove that he's into them but not in a weird way. Which is difficult when you're rarely normal about anything. 

"Yeah, that, and I've had close encounters with those, though never on a woman before," he admits. "I would operate whatever genitals you have because they're yours, not because I'm hoping they're a certain way. I don't care. Well, I care because they're yours, but if you told me I can never touch or look, that's okay." Though what a travesty that would be. What about all the orgasms he promised her in his head? But she still has a prostate, right? He probably could—

"Say it," Steph interrupts his futuristic plans.

"Huh?"

"Say I have a dick." She crosses her arms tightly over her chest. 

Eddie inhales deeply. 

"You have a dick. It doesn't matter to me either way. You could have a pussy, a dick, or a cacti, and I would accommodate. Though we probably would have to get rid of the thorns on the last one. Or get me some protective gear."

She lets out a startled snort.

"Yeah, sure. We'll see about that."

It sounds like a challenge, and while Eddie might hate sports, he loves games. If it's up his alley, he can get competitive easily, and this one promises great treasures, if he wins. 

If only he knew the rules. 

"Tomorrow, same time. Wear something comfortable."

Eddie's eyes widen.

"For what?" His voice comes out higher than he'd like, but his mind quickly resurfaces from the gutter it found itself in, and he frowns, suddenly suspicious. "Will you make me exercise?"

Her features soften, and a playful smirk pulls on her lips. 

"You'll see."

Her smile is a good sign, even if it's at his expense, so he decides not to push his luck anymore and end the night here. 

"Well, I'm gonna..." He awkwardly motions to the door, hesitating. 

Steph is leaning against the bar counter, watching him knowingly. 

"You can get a goodnight kiss tonight," she says, resting her cheek against her palm. "Or get more tomorrow."

Eddie wonders, if the game has already started. He puts his quick Dungeon Master wits to work, and figures with how far he's come, he gets advantage on the Charisma check. 

"I could live off of goodnight kisses for forever," he says. "There's no need for anything more."

He almost feels bad at how fast her resolve crumbles, giving place to fiery red flush. 

"Fucking charmer," she scoffs almost angrily, before rounding the counter towards him. The energy coming off of her makes him take a step back, and he hits the front door. Steph's nails scratch the wooden surface right next to his ear. She tilts her head. 

"You're gonna put your money where your mouth is?" 

Eddie's been trying to get better at that, sometimes to his own demise—staying true to his words, keeping promises. So he reaches for her neck and pulls her in.

It's more like their first kiss than the last one. It's hungrier, the knowledge that they both want more seeping into their muscles, grasping at clothes, pulling and pushing. Eddie groans into Steph's hot mouth, happy to be pressed between her soft, strong body, and the cold door. She pushes even closer, gathering the sound with her tongue and claiming it for herself. 

They pull apart with a wet smack, and Steph laughs breathily at the dopey smile she finds directed at her. She pats Eddie's cheek affectionately and untangles herself from his grasp. The door clicks when she twists the lock, and it seems to bring Eddie back from his daze. 

"Goodnight, Eddie," she says pointedly. 

He blinks at her, before his soft smile comes back, and he reaches up again to place one last kiss on her lips. 

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow," he smiles, before slipping outside the door. 

Steph is terrible person, and also more smitten with this boy than she'd want to admit, so she looks through the peephole at the dimly lit corridor. She hopes Eddie can't hear her chuckle at the silly dance he does while walking away from her door.

@wheneverfeasible @steddieinthesun @hattsy-likes-pretty-stuff @bumblebeecuttlefishes @phantomcat94 @tartarusknight  @tinyplanet95 @steddiefication @estrellami-1 @disrespectedgoatman @madigoround @tartarusknight @blasvemous @cryptid-system @hiei-harringtonmunson @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere @dreamercec @manliest-of-muppets @bookbinderbitch @marklee-blackmore  @icecat @rootbeerandmusic @mollymawkwrites @milojames16

help me with rent

[itslenagain]

"You, there!" the regal voice calls down the hallway.

Shit. I'm toast.

Mother taught me three very important things about visiting Olympus - one, never reveal that I am a child of Zeus. Two, never steal anything from the Temple. And three, most important of all, NEVER allow my existence to be discovered by Hera.

And who but Hera, my unaware-but-still-somehow-wicked stepmother, would happen to be entering the hallway at the same time I attempted to duck into the kitchen for a late night snack.

"Why are you up at this hour?"

My mind races, searching for a way to escape. I'm surrounded by dead ends. I wonder briefly how severe my injuries would be if I attempted to jump out a window. My heart races as incoming footsteps signal my inevitable demise.

Except, when I turn my face to hers, I can tell that Hera has been crying.

She studies me for a moment. "Who are you?"

Shit. SHIT.

"I'm, ah, Eulalia," I lie. "New in town."

She continues to stare me down in suspicion. I'm so fucked. I have to think fast...

"Hera? Why are you up so late?"

She's briefly surprised by the question, but regains her composure quickly. "I was feeling snackish. It looks as though you were also headed to the kitchen." After a pause, she adds, "You may accompany me, if you wish."

I watch her face, and I am perplexed. I should run. I should get myself far away from Hera, as fast as I can. But instead, I find myself nodding gently. Something so achingly familiar to me hides behind her icy gaze.

She glides past me into the kitchen, gauzy green robe trailing softly behind her. I nervously grab a pear from the counter and sit at the small table.

"...is that it?" Hera says, raising an eyebrow. I blush. She sizes me up for a moment, and seems to come to some unspoken conclusion. "If you tell anyone about what I am about to show you, I will personally kill you." I swallow down the rising bile in my throat and let out a far-too-anxious laugh. She opens the refrigerator and reaches for something in the back. "Now, this is a snack worth getting out of bed for." She pulls out a container full of spinach and carrots and places it carefully on the table. She brushes her hands over the lid, and her eyes glow. When she takes off the lid...

"Melopita!" I exclaim. She looks at me sternly. My hands fly up to my mouth.

"Don't make me regret sharing." She cuts a generous slice and places it in front of me. I tear into the slice with a ferocity that rivals a lion hungrily taking down its prey. I hear her laugh. Her eyes are still puffy, but she looks... softer. Lighter, even.

She positions her knife to cut a small slice of the melopita, and this time, I am the one to shoot her a look. "Is that it?" I ask playfully. She moves the knife a little. "Oh, come on. Is that worth getting out of bed for?!" She moves it a little more and looks at me, eyebrow raised. She lets out a huff. She chucks the knife into the sink and grabs a spoon. "YES!" I cheer. She laughs again. The sound warms me to my core. I wonder how often she allows herself to be vulnerable in this way.

We sit for a moment in silence, enjoying the sweet treat. "So, what's your story?" She asks. I gulp. "Married? Kids? Anything?"

"Not married, no kids. As for the rest... Well, uh. I'm still figuring it out, honestly."

"Aren't we all," Hera sighs. She looks at her feet.

Before any sense of self preservation can convince me not to speak, my mouth is forming words. "Hera, are you okay?"

She's taken aback. Her face becomes stone once again. "Of course I am okay. What a stupid thing to ask," she says coldly. I should have stayed quiet. I should walk away now and never speak to her again.

Instead, I speak to her again. "I don't mean to upset you. I just wondered if anyone has ever asked you that before."

Hera says nothing. She silently rises from her seat and crosses to the door frame. She hesitates before crossing the threshold. "I don't need anyone to worry about me." She says firmly.

"Maybe not, but I'm still gonna."

She stiffens. Then, she walks away without another word.

~~~

Later that week, I find myself making a familiar late-night pilgrimage to the kitchen. I listen carefully as I maneuver the halls of the Temple, checking around the corners before turning. She's nowhere in sight. I hope it stays that way.

I walk down the same corridor where I encountered Hera for the first time. The walls are lined with pictures of my father and his brothers. I pause next to one where Zeus and Hera stand together. His authoritative expression dominates the portrait. His arm is wrapped firmly around his wife, his sister. Hera's eyes are cold and empty.

When I see her sat at the table in the kitchen, they're red and wet.

She looks up at me. Her mouth opens, but no words come out. My heart breaks for her.

I cross to the refrigerator and pull out my own secret container. "Chocolate ice cream?" She nods.

We sit together in silence. I watch her shovel spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth. Her long hair hangs limply about her head. I want to hug her and tell her it will all be okay, and I want to run away and hope she forgets all about me. Both are true. I am terrified.

It becomes a ritual. I watch Hera lead beside her husband by day with steely-eyed ruthlessness. An then, in that small kitchen in the middle of the night, I come to sit with her quietly while she cries. She never says a word, and neither do I.

~~~

Before I know what is happening, someone is pulling me into a closet. I nearly lose my balance, but slender arms wrap around me, covering my mouth. The door closes and the lock clicks. For a brief, horrifying moment, I am plunged into complete darkness, and unable to call for help. "Don't scream," a voice hisses into my ear. The lights flip on.

Before me stands a tall woman in an iridescent gown. Iris. Her arms are crossed, eyes narrowed. The hand comes off of my mouth. I turn to see another woman still holding my body back. Iris takes a step closer to me and leans in. "What are your intentions with my mistress?"

"...What?"

"Hera might seem like an easy target to you, but she's your worst nightmare" she hisses. "What are you planning?"

"I don't understand," I choke. "I'm not planning anything."

Iris stares at me for a long time. She puts a hand on my shoulder and leans so closely into my face that I can feel her breath on my cheek. "I know who you are. I know what you are. And if you hurt her, I will tell her everything, and she will end you, Ophelia."

My blood turns cold. I feel my hands growing numb. "I-I don't want to hurt her. I'm not trying to, I swear. She seems like she needs some help."

"I can help her," Iris hisses. Her eyes stay fixed on me. Her lip twists in disgust. Is this... jealousy? I feel the heat return to my cheeks.

"It's not like that!" Her eyes hit me like daggers. "She's my aunt!"

Iris continues to stare me down. Whatever she hopes to find, she doesn't. She lets out a sharp exhale. She motions to the woman behind me to let me go. Iris looks at me again. "She's a hard person to get close to, trust me. I didn't understand." She unlocks the door. "As long as you're just trying to help... well, I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." I nod. "No funny business, okay?"

I smirk. She rolls her eyes at me.

~~~

Tonight, when I enter the empty kitchen, I am surprised to feel a certain sadness about it. How have I gone from being afraid of Hera, to being her silent confidant? I sit down at the table. The empty seat across from mine feels unnatural.

"Hi," a voice says from behind me. I turn to see Hera standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Can we take a walk?"

The garden outside the Temple is illuminated by a mixture of moonlight and tiny lanterns. "Why do you keep showing up?"

"...For snacks?"

Hera snorts. "If it was just about snacks, you could come earlier or later and avoid me." I look at my feet. "I give you part of me. You've seen me cry. Nobody sees that. Give me something. Please."

I stop walking. Hera turns to face me. I take a deep breath. "Two years ago, I was going to be married. It was something my mother chose for me. His family was wealthy and influential. I had some type love for him, don't get me wrong... but it wasn't the kind of love I want. He loved the fact that he had control over me. He loved me only when I submitted to the things he wanted. I had to be the kind of person he could love in order for him to love me, even if it meant being someone, something, that I absolutely am not." I feel my hands shake. I breathe in, and then out. "He lied to me. He cheated on me. He physically and verbally abused me." I swat at the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Walking away was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I didn't have anyone to help me through it."

I feel arms wrap around me. I lean in to her warmth. The sobs rip through me. My chest heaves. Hera strokes my hair. I realize that she is crying too. I hug her tight.

"...I'm not ready to walk away yet," Hera sobs.

I put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eyes. "It's okay. Just know that I'm here for you no matter what you decide."

We stand together for a while, arm-in-arm. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"What's up?"

"Can I call you my niece, Ophelia?"

My heart drops. "You know?"

Hera looks at me, an eyebrow raised. "I was going to kill you." I feel myself growing pale. She just laughs. "I found out the morning after we met, and I wanted to kill you. But I remembered what you said. And then I had this strange feeling that fate brought us together for a reason." She pulls my still-stunned figure into another hug. "Thank you for worrying about me. Maybe with your support, one day, I will be ready."

"As one of Zeus bastard children, you are doomed to be targeted by Hera, however you found a way to get on the queens good side before she found out who your father is. "

[nmhdreamscape]

stumbling hearts ✧ n.jm (valentine's gift series)

pairing | friend!jaemin x fem!reader

content | friends to lovers, fluff, jealousy, suggestive

word count | 647

request | jaemin + 13

notes | struggled a little with this one, hope it's okay!

you stumbled into your apartment with a laugh, stumbling over your heels as you entered your hallway. the alcohol had long worn, and you were now left with a terrible the pain in your feet, instant relief coming as you shucked them off. jaemin stepped into your apartment after you, shutting the door behind you. he had demanded he walk you home after your night out, wanting to make sure you got home safe in your inebriated state.

jaemin had opted to stay sober, he wasn’t really feeling it. that feeling only got worse as the night progressed, being subjected to watching you go off with every guy who had approached you. wishing it was him who had the courage to come up and ask you for a dance. wishing that he could get the chance to hold you like that. it all left a sour taste in his mouth that he knew would only be made worse with alcohol.

you had picked up on jaemin’s mood on the walk home, not greeting you with the same warmth and kindness he usually did. he was ignoring you, something that was very out of character for him. that resulted in most of the journey being spent in silence, that continuing as you entered your apartment. when you looked over at him, you saw how his gaze rested on you. at this point you were done, sick of his attitude. you needed to know why he was acting this way.

“you’ve been acting weird all night, are you okay?” you asked with your eyebrow raised. he didn’t even bother to respond, simply moving to put your shoes on the shoe rack next to the door. you let out a scoff, that catching his attention. he finally turned to face you, but still no response. you stormed over to him.

“you can’t just keep ignoring me!” you yelled, staring straight into his eyes. jaemin’s eyes fell to your lips before looking up into your eyes again. he was about to do something he would probably regret in the morning, but at least he could say he tried. gripping you by the waist, he pulled you into a kiss, lips pressing harshly against yours as he took you all in. 

you simply stood there in shock. had you hit your head on the way home? there was no way this was real? months of subtle touches, flirtatious comments and shameless pining had done little to get his attention. you had all but given up on the prospect of him being interested in you. and yet here you were. by the time your brain had caught up to your body, jaemin was already pulling away, much to your disappointment.

“watching you with all those other guys tonight, it was torture. it made me realise i just need to let it all out and tell you. i just... i want you, all of you. and that might be selfish, but i don’t care.” jaemin whispered, staring into your eyes as he cupped your cheek. your face lit up with a bright smile at this, hand coming to rest on top of his.

“you have me.” you reassured, squeezing his hand. “plus, they meant nothing. the guy i like wouldn’t dance with me, so somebody had to” you joked, rolling your eyes. jaemin looked down at you with his signature bright smile, still somewhat in disbelief at how things were turning out. 

“well, let me make it up to you then.” jaemin smirked, lifting you up off of the ground and into his arms. you let out a squeal, legs instinctively coming to wrap around his waist. he once again joined your lips in a kiss, whisking you off to your bedroom. he had thought of many different ways to make it up to you, and he couldn’t wait to show you them all. 

valentine's gift masterlist

[kteezy997]

Beyond Business-part 13//t.c.

He told you not to look at posts about him and Kylie online. But something possessed you to look. It was something obsessive inside of you.

After the A Complete Unknown premiere in Paris, he and Kylie had a ‘secret’ date with loads of paparazzi to capture them entering and leaving the restaurant and the hotel afterwards.

It hurt you to see him holding her hand, leading her through the crowd of flashing lights and photographers shouting at them.

Kylie wore a black, skintight jumpsuit which showed lots of cleavage. She seemed to be almost posing for the cameras, smiling directly at one of them. She looked so proud to be on Timothée’s arm.

You couldn’t help but think that that should be you. That she didn’t deserve him, even if they were just pretending. You hated seeing it. You had a horrible feeling inside when you saw them together. You didn't recognize your Timmy.

He didn’t even have to kiss her or look her, it was just the simple fact of her touching him, sitting close to him in the car, it just made your skin crawl. Maybe you were too jealous for this to work.

At least you had a couple days to clear your head before you saw Timmy again. You decided to go home, to see your parents, have a home cooked meal with your siblings. You needed to come down to earth, out of Timothée Chalamet’s orbit for just a moment.

Your first night in your parents’ house, he tried calling you. But you weren’t ready to talk. You couldn’t be his girlfriend at this moment, or his assistant.

He left voicemails and text after text, “baby call me please.” “need to hear your voice.” “miss you so much. I wish you were here.” So many sweet things. But you couldn’t give in. You loved him, of course you did. But you had been feeling way too much and needed a break from it all. You felt like you didn't know yourself anymore.

……..

In all, you spent a week away. You let Timmy know that you needed a vacation, and he granted you the time off. But that was all the conversation was about. You didn’t let it get any more personal than that, despite his desperate attempts.

You knew that he was probably hurting too, with you going away so suddenly. But you did your best not to think about it.

But it was finally time to go back. You felt refreshed, and level-headed about the situation. You were ready for whatever was to come.

You knocked on his door on your first Monday back to work. There was no answer. You waited a moment, then let yourself inside. “Timmy?” you called. There was no sign of him, or any sign that he had been roaming around the apartment at all that morning.

The place was unkempt. Take out containers and beer bottles scattered about. You started to really worry. You called his name again with no response.

You checked his bedroom, and there he was, sleeping like a rock.

You shook him, gently, “Timmy, it’s time to start work for the day.” you whispered.

He grumbled, clenching his eyes, then opening them. He sighed when he looked up at you. “You’re here, finally.”

“Are you okay?”

He scoffed, “Fuck no, I’m not okay.” he raised up in the bed, his eyes red and more tired looking than ever. "My girlfriend leaves me high and dry for a fucking week. Do you not understand how bad I need you?”

“I do. But I needed time to take care of myself.”

“Well, what happened?”

“I couldn’t stand the pictures of you Kylie on your romantic date in Paris.”

He rolled his eyes, “I’ve told you not to pay attention to any of that.”

“Oh fuck off, Timothée, and put yourself in my shoes! How would you like it if some other man was parading me around across the world? Do you really think that I want you to be with another woman half the time?” you didn't want to raise your voice at him, but you couldn't help it.

“It’ll come to end eventually, I swear it will! I’m sorry that you’re upset.” he calmed down, reaching to grab your hand.

“Do I not have the right to be?”

“Yes, you do. I just don’t know what I can do about it right now."

“You can choose. It’s her or me.”

“You know that I choose you.”

“No. It’s me or her. You don’t get me in private and Kylie Jenner in public. Not anymore. I don’t want to be anyone’s secret, not even yours. I can't keep putting you before myself.”

“Please, don’t do this.” he pleaded, his eyes becoming glassy.

“I love you, but I can’t let you consume me like this. I can’t work for you anymore.” The tears were coming, you sniffled.

“I don’t give a shit about you being my assistant, I just want you.”

“If you break it off with her.”

“I-"

You shrugged, “See? You can’t give her up. I don’t know if it’s the fame or the sex,-"

He cut you off sharply, “I don’t have sex with her!”

“She is sex, Timothée. It’s about how masculine you are if you’re dating her. That's what it's all about. People take you seriously now that you’ve bagged her.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I’ve had time to think about this, that’s all. And I think I understand. You’ll never have a normal relationship now. It’s not for you, Timothée.”

“Why do you keep calling me by my full name? Are you..." he looked down, swallowing hard as a tear fell from his swelling eyes, “are you breaking up with me?”

You gasped, hearing the words out loud was something you hadn’t prepared for. You put your hand out, wanting to soothe him, to run your fingers through his hair, to hold him. But you couldn’t. Slowly, you retracted your hand. “I just don’t see how it could ever really work. Not if you’re involved with someone else. I want someone who doesn’t have to hide me.”

Timmy took a deep breath, nodding, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he put his head on his hands.

You wiped your own tears away, “I’m going to go now.” you said.

He looked at you again, “Okay.”

As you started to walk out of his bedroom, he spoke again.

"Y/n, I want you to know that everything I've ever said to you was real. I love you. You've meant more to me than you could ever understand. So, thank you."

February 16, 2025

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @timhalchala @heatherpi @iconic-jedimullet @pmak2002

[henry7931]

You Signed A Contract Part I

Jeremy:

I wish I never met Don Hughes and I wish I never signed that stupid contract!! It sucks because I can’t even talk about everything after signing that non-disclosure too.

The last couple of months have been awful. Ever since I met Don while on my shift.

*FLASHBACK*

I’m a college student so I wait tables part time. And one afternoon I met Don, who sat at my table.

He was charismatic and you could tell that the guy has money. We chatted for a while, he asked me about my life.

By the end of his lunch, he said to me, “if you ever want to make a ridiculous amount of money—call me.”

He handed me his business card and went on with his day.

It took me about a day before I called Don’s number.

When I called he automatically knew it was me.

“Jeremy, I was hoping you would call.” 

“Yeah sorry it took me a little bit to get back to you.”

“Oh no! You’re perfectly fine!”

We talked for a few before he told me to meet him at an address.

When I arrived I was shocked to see that it was a McDonalds.

Don was waiting for me in a booth grinning.

“Well hello Jeremy.”

“Hi Don.”

“Come sit, you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

We grab food and Don basically laid everything out on the table.

“So I have an offer for you, let’s look at it as a short term form of employment.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” I say taking a fry.

At first I thought Don was about to pimp me out. But what he said next shocked me even more.

“So over the years, my company has grown into high technology. We’ve created things that only appear in movies. You’d be surprised by how advanced this world could actually be…”

He pauses and takes a deep breath, “so what I’m offering is this— a short term body exchange. 3 months and you get $500,000.”

I nearly spit out my drink, “wait repeat that?!?”

“We basically swap bodies for 3 months, I have your body, you have mine. No one outside my company knows about it. I’ll have a very lavish apartment for you to live in, all expenses paid. And then after 3 months, you get your body back and $500,000.”

I was shocked, I wasn’t sure what to say. I mean $500,000 is a lot of money.

“Is it safe?”

“Yes, it’s safe. This isn’t the first time I’ve used this machine. In fact, my company regularly swaps bodies within our staff. It can be fun.”

“So no other rules? I have your body and you have mine. You won’t do anything crazy with it will you?”

“Good god no! I just prefer to be inside a more youthful body at times. And to be completely honest, I just found you to be very handsome. If anything, this swap could be more of a liability for me…. So what do you say? We got a deal?”

Don pushed over a contract to me and I hesitate for a second.

“I know this is a lot Jeremy but just think. It’s only 3 months.”

“Fine, let do it,” I say picking up the pin and signing the document over.

“Great! Now let’s head to my car. The swap begins immediately.”

A fancy all black car pulls up and we get inside. All I could think about on the ride over was that Don’s body was about to be mine for 90 days straight.

I look at his older hands and feel my stomach turn. I feel anxious and all of the what ifs start to fill my brain. What this guy has some terminal disease? What if he backs out?

Ugh… I try think about anything else. And then we pull up to what looks like an abandoned building.

A giant guy comes up and greets us.

“Jeremy, this is Rocky. He’s my body guard but he’ll be with you the next 3 months.”

I shake Rocky’s hand as Don heads inside. Rocky gives me a wide grin and says, “It’s a pleasure, don’t stress. This isn’t Don’s first rodeo.”

“Can you tell I’m nervous?,” I say to him.

“Of course, but it’s worth it. I promise. And I’ll be with you.”

Hearing Rocky’s words gave me a little assurance.

I head inside with him and walk into the biggest laboratory I’ve ever seen. Computers, machines are everywhere and multiple scientists.

I get directed to go down a hallway where I find Don again.

He’s sitting by a giant machine with two helmets attached to it.

They ask me sit down in one of the chairs. A scientist straps one of the helmets on me. And then Don’s sits and they do the same to him.

“Here we go Jeremy! 1…2…3..”

I tighten my eyes and then….

Don:

Being a very wealthy businessman, I always get what I want. Even if it’s supposed to be unobtainable. Like this body for instance. Jeremy is just one of many bodies I’ve taken over.

And honestly I get tired of them after a couple of months. But what’s nice about having a younger body means, I can still run my board everyday.

All of the members are fully aware of my body swap shenanigans. But they don’t fuck with me, mainly because they know I’ll put them in a random body so quick…

Oops, I didn’t say that!

What I love about having a body like Jeremy here, is that I can get my work done and then have fun at night.

I’ll fuck whoever I want, party at any bar, and I especially love seeing a cute face in the morning.

I have several fetishes— I like younger guys, feet, dominating people… but getting a new body to explore feels like my dirtiest fetish. Just touching someone else’s cock, licking a strangers feet while using there mouth, hooking up with another guy who has no clue who I really am… fuck! I’m getting hard just thinking about it!!

What’s great about all of this is if I stay out all night, I know bodies like Jeremy here can handle it. All it takes is a little headache medicine and a Bloody Mary. And I’m back in business!!

Now I think this time, I’m going to take things a step further… starting out, I’m going to have some of my selective staff swap bodies with some handsome guys. They’ll be my personal house boys.

Where I tell them how I want to be pleasured and they listen. God, just imagine— I say footjob and some handsome hunk comes in to just jerk me off with a sexy pair of feet…

It’s settled, “Henry, find me 3 handsome guys in there 20s. Offer them swap contracts.”

“Yes sir,” say my loyal assistant.

“Also, I want them swapped with 3 willing employees. I’ll pay them stupid just to suck my cock on demand.”

“Right away— and sir?”

“Yes, Henry…”

“May I be one of those employees?”

I grinned at my assistant who looks so eager.

“Ohhh have you taken a liking to this body?,” I say to him.

Henry blushes and says, “ for you sir, I’ll be anyone just to make sure you’re happy.”

“Great, well I want a handsome frat boy. You’ll need to suck this daily,” I say pulling out my cock.

“Yes sir!,” he says to me and then runs off to get to work.

Man, I love being this rich!

[kitkatkitzune]

MAKEUP MENACE

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Reader

Summary: You need a model to practice your skills, thankfully Elijah is there to help… and distract you.

Warnings: Sex jokes, Flirty!Elijah, Maybe OOC!Elijah?, My minimal makeup knowledge, inconsistencies in the tense it’s written in

Notes: Special thanks to @wholoveseggs for helping me brainstorm ideas for this fic!! I hope I did your suggestions justice!

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!!

Word Count: 1.5k

———————

You groan in frustration and throw your makeup brushes down, dropping your head onto your vanity table.

Elijah, who was sitting on the chair in the corner of your shared room, reading, looks up from his book, “Darling? What’s wrong?” he’s off of the chair and at your side in a matter of seconds.

You pick your head up from the table and look up at your fiancé, “This is just so frustrating! These stupid silicone molds are nothing like real skin!” you scoff, looking back at the table.

Elijah smirks, “So silicone is nothing like the real thing?”

“Yes, Elijah! That’s what I just said!”

“So… the real thing is better?”

“Am I speaking one of the two languages you don’t speak? Yes! I just said that!” you exclaim, looking back up at him.

His grin widens, “Silicone doesn’t compare to—“

“Elijah!” you scoff, slapping his arm as you finally catch on to what he’s doing.

He laughs, “My apologies, dear, I couldn’t help it.”

You scoff, “You’re a dick.”

“Ah, but you like my ‘dick’…” he pauses for a moment, “It’s certainly better than silicone.”

“Elijah,” you groan, dropping your head back onto the table, “you’ve been hanging around Kol too much,” you mumble into your arm.

“Kol?” he questions, “You talk about male genitalia with my little brother? I don’t know how to feel about that…”

You lift your head up a bit to glare at him and he chuckles again, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop. What’s wrong?”

“I’m trying to learn this new technique and practice for my exam but the silicone face pieces are making it so difficult, it just won’t work the right way because it’s not skin!”

“So you need a model?”

You sigh, nodding, “And Rebekah isn’t here for me to practice on! She’s off galavanting around with Marcel, doing God knows what that I don’t want to think about!”

Elijah hums in thought before shrugging, “You could practice on me?”

“Really?” you beam, “You’d let me?”

“As long as you promise not to stab my eye out, I think we’ll be fine.”

You squeal, standing up from your chair, pushing Elijah to sit down and he does, man-spreading. You gather all of your supplies and Elijah watches you intently, happy to see you in your element.

“Okay, let’s get started…” you begin but Elijah raises a finger, making you trail off.

With dramatic flair, he pulls out his handkerchief and tucks it into his shirt as if he was about to eat a messy dinner.

You roll your eyes and he smiles, the corners of his eyes creasing, “What? I love you, truly, but this suit was nine thousand dollars… I don’t want it stained.”

You chuckle and step closer so you’re standing in between his legs, “Are you sure this isn’t going to fracture your masculinity?” you tease.

He laughs, resting his hands on your hips, “Dear, you forget I’m over a thousand years old, this isn’t the first time I’ve worn makeup.”

“I wish there were cameras back then,“ you whine, “I’d have loved to see you all ‘dolled up’,” you quote Elijah, he would always refer to you getting dressed up as getting dolled up.

“Maybe Nik has some old paintings…” you tap your finger to your chin, grinning when he groans and rolls his eyes.

After a bit of teasing, you finally begin your work, trying not to get too distracted by the way Elijah was rubbing up and down your hips. He smiles at you knowingly, making you scowl. Deciding two can play at that game, you straddle his lap, causing his eyes to momentarily widen.

“I hope you don’t sit on all of your clients like this…” he muses.

You giggle, “Only the really pretty ones,” you use the brush you were holding to boop his nose.

He hums, moving his hands to rub up and down your back as you do his eyebrows. When he realizes you’re no longer being affected by his teasing he lowers his hands until they reach the curve of your ass and squeezes.

You immediately halt your movements and lean back, smacking his shoulder, “Behave ,” you hiss.

“I am being a perfect gentleman.”

“More like a perfect menace.”

Finally, you get to the eyes. You dip your eyeshadow brush into the brown, tapping it against the pallet before placing it on Elijah’s eyelid.

“Brown?” he questions.

You hum, “Simple yet elegant, a classic.”

When you finish his eyes you uncap a red lipstick, “And a red lip, classic and bold.”

You finish applying the color to his lips, giggling at the way he had his lips puckered. You shriek when he leans forward, grabbing your face and placing kisses all over just like you do to him, leaving red lip marks behind. He finishes his onslaught of kisses by placing one on your lips.

He pulls back, admiring his work and you narrow your eyes, using your fingers to wipe away the smudged lipstick around his mouth.

After fixing his lipstick, you grab your hand held mirror to show him the final look.

“I look absolutely fabulous, you did fantastic sweetheart.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

You smile, happily, and hop off his lap much to his surprise, “Stay there! I need to get my phone so I can take a picture for my portfolio.”

You’re gone before he can even protest, practically bouncing down the stairs. You see Klaus and Hope on the staircase, you had completely forgotten they had gone out shopping. Little Hope was practically buried in shopping bags.

“Auntie Y/N!! Look at all my stuff!!”

“What on earth happened to your face…?” Klaus trails off, referring to the kiss marks, you ignore him, addressing Hope.

“In a second, honey, I promise!” you pluck a few of the bags out of her arms, revealing her face, “I have to get my phone, I need to get a picture of Elijah!” you continue down the stairs.

“Elijah?” Klaus raises a brow, stopping in his spot on the steps, “Is the noble stag actually smiling for once in his immortal life?”

“No? Yes? Maybe!” you exclaim, “It’s for my portfolio!” you pass Klaus, grabbing a few more bags from Hope and she rushes up the stairs after you.

When she sees Elijah, she bursts into a fit of giggles, “Uncle ‘Lijah! You look pretty!”

Elijah shoots you a look before scooping Hope up in his arms, she pokes his rosy cheeks and laughs again.

“Pretty silly,” Klaus says, leaning on the doorway, making his presence known.

“Niklaus,” Elijah sighs.

“No! Just pretty!” Hope exclaims.

“Y/N,” Klaus pushes off the doorframe to leave the room, “be a doll and send me whatever pictures you take…”

“Yes!” Hope squeals, “And me too! Send them to me!”

“Hope, you don’t have a cellphone,” Elijah deadpans.

“Oh.”

“But we can send them to your mother!” you smirk, trying to suppress a giggle when Elijah glares at you.

Hope giggles and runs out of the room, yelling for her mother to come see ‘pretty Elijah’.

Elijah sighs and you smile, shrugging, “You’re the one who said it’s better to indulge him.”

“I suppose I did say that…”

You take a few photos of him and set your phone down, “Hope’s right, you do look pretty.”

“Well I think you’re prettier.”

He smiles and stands up, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as possible to press a sweet kiss to your lips.

“Ew!” Hope yells from the doorway, causing the two of you to pull apart. She’s standing there, carrying her own makeup box that she had just got during her shopping trip with Klaus.

An idea suddenly pops into your head, making you grin, “Hey Hope, you want to make Elijah pretty?”

Seemingly forgetting about the whole previous interaction, Hope smiles, hopping up and down, “Yes! Can I make you pretty uncle Elijah?”

Elijah widens his eyes at you, as if you had just sent him to the slaughter, “Well, I have all this makeup on already, sweetie.”

“Oh come on, Elijah,” you smirk, “I can easily take that off! Let the girl do your makeup!”

“Please uncle Elijah! I promise I’ll do a good job!”

Between your encouragement and Hope’s adorable little pouty face, Elijah couldn’t say no.

Which is how he ended up with cheap, glitter makeup rubbed all over his eyelids and cheeks with cute little bows in his hair.

“I’m going to be a makeup artist! Just like you, aunt Y/N!” Hope grins at you, unveiling her work.

By some miracle, you manage to contain your laughter even as Elijah narrows his eyes at you.

“You did great, sweetheart! Isn’t that right, Elijah?”

“Yeah,” his voice almost cracks, “I look beautiful.”

Hope grins, running out of the room, shouting for everyone to come see ‘pretty Elijah’ again, making Elijah groan and bury his face in his hands.

You laugh and he looks up at you, “I’m glad you enjoy my suffering.”

“Oh honey,” you smile, placing your hands on his shoulders, “I’m your fiancé, of course I do.”

[ingravinoveritas]

GT is really trying to make the Baftas about her on her Ig huh

(Grouping together for ease of responding.)

I've seen several mentions/had folks talking to me in DM about Georgia's Insta stories earlier today. I'll put some screenshots here so we can discuss:

I feel like this all starts with yesterday, so let's quickly recap: Last night, David appeared on the One Show. Georgia came along and watched the show backstage, and posted an Insta story of him on the TV screen, in color. She posted nothing related to David and Valentine's Day, despite having made a post about him every year for the last several years. Today, she posted about BAFTA preparations. Two photos of David, both again in black-and-white, and two photos in color, one of which featured her calling a bag of skincare products "my valentine."

The first thing that comes to mind is the songs that are used on some of these stories. For three out of four, the songs are upbeat and happy, which seems to contrast starkly with the almost somber tone of these pictures. It reminds me of the song "I Am A Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel, where the music is cheerful and up tempo, yet the lyrics are much darker and full of pain/sadness. So if you're only looking at what's on the surface, it causes you to miss what is going on underneath.

It would also be very easy to overlook that these stories are all related to an awards show--that David is hosting for a second time, no less. Because there isn't really anything celebratory about any of these. Just looking at the captions/tags, Georgia seems to be showing more enthusiasm for receiving free skincare products than for anything else. And in both pictures of David, he is doing something else/just trying to exist while she photographs him. In the picture in the car, he seems to be looking at the National Theatre, and despite sitting next to her, it feels like he is about a million miles away--that same feeling of preoccupation/tiredness that we saw last night.

And then there's the last piece of these stories, which is that the photos of David are once again in black-and-white. I've said this previously, but we are now long past the point where the B&W makes sense for legal reasons or anything having to do with the show. Let's also look at what's happened over the last few weeks: The fan taking a picture with David in the airport, the photo of David behind the bar in a pub in Glasgow this week, and then the full-on hair reveal last night, all in color. Contrast that with the video of David dancing to Sabrina Carpenter, the WOS acceptance speech, and now these photos, all in black and white, and all taken/filmed by Georgia.

Looking at everything together, I think David never cared about hiding his hair, while Georgia and Anna knew/know the fans have wanted to see dyed hair, and have viewed their Instagrams as a source for pictures. So holding the promise and possibility of seeing that is a guaranteed way to keep getting clicks and drive engagement, especially given how many fans took screenshots and got excited every time Georgia or Anna added a new story. What became a joke at the fandom's expense has now backfired, and I truly don't think there was ever going to be a "big reveal" or that either of them intended to post a picture of the dyed hair in color.

To be clear, there is no part of me that takes joy in any of this, and I do not wish for either David or Georgia to be unhappy or miserable. But I can't dismiss the almost painful gut reaction I had to these Insta stories--how "off" the vibes are, and how this all seems to be about much more than just hair dye.

What will happen at the BAFTAs tomorrow is still anyone's guess--Michael is not listed as a special guest or as a presenter (though he did present an award last year, as I recall), so who knows if he will even be there--but I am honestly hoping that things will be okay. For everyone's sake...

[batboysanonymous]

Man, Am I the Greatest

Cassian x Reader

Summary: She poured every piece of herself into him—every breath, every moment, every sleepless night spent making sure he was okay. But as Cassian thrived, as the world worshipped him, Y/N was left with the aching realization that maybe, just maybe, loving him would be the thing that destroyed her.

Based on the song: THE GREATEST by Billie Eilish

───────────────────────────────

I'm trying my best

To keep you satisfied Let you get your rest While I stayed up all night

Y/N sat at the edge of their shared bed, arms wrapped around her legs as she listened to the sound of Cassian’s breathing. Deep. Steady. Peaceful. The kind of rest he deserved after long days of training, after endless war councils, after the burden of command pressed so heavily on his shoulders.

She had stayed up to wait for him, like always. Hours passed, candlelight burning low, until exhaustion pressed her eyes shut—but she never truly slept. Not when she knew he would come home aching, wings sore, muscles strained.

So she took care of him. As she always did.

The moment he crossed the threshold earlier that night, she had guided him to the bath, washed the dirt from his skin, traced the scars that whispered stories of all the times he’d nearly left her. Then she had held him until he was ready to sleep, her fingers smoothing over his hair, his back, his wings.

Cassian was everything. He was the heartbeat of Velaris, the force that held their world together.

And Y/N?

She was just the one making sure he didn’t fall apart.

And you don’t wanna know

How alone I’ve been Let you come and go Whatever state I’m in, ah

The sun rose too soon.

Y/N felt the emptiness beside her before she even opened her eyes. The sheets were still warm where Cassian had slept, but he was already gone.

Again.

She pulled the blankets tighter around her, forcing herself to breathe through the ache in her chest.

Cassian had never meant to make her feel like this.

He loved her—she knew that. He kissed her softly when he had time, murmured his affections when he remembered. He pulled her into bed after long nights and whispered You’re my mate. My everything.

But love alone had never been enough to stop loneliness from creeping in.

Because Cassian didn’t see the way her hands shook when she reached for him at night, needing comfort more than she dared to admit. He didn’t notice the way her ribs ached from exhaustion, from skipping meals because her priority had always been him.

She could be bleeding, breaking, drowning right in front of him, and he wouldn’t realize—because she never let him.

Because she had trained herself to be unshakable. Unbreakable.

And he had come to expect that of her.

Man, am I the greatest

My congratulations All my love and patience All my admiration

By the time Cassian returned that evening, Y/N had already made dinner. It wasn’t much, just something to keep him strong, to make sure he had what he needed.

She hadn’t eaten yet.

The door swung open, and there he was, armor dusted with dried blood, his hair windblown from the flight home.

She didn’t ask if he was okay. She already knew the answer.

“Long day?” she murmured, stirring the soup she wasn’t sure she had the energy to eat.

Cassian sighed as he removed his boots, stretching his arms over his head. “You have no idea.”

No, I do. Because I’ve spent every second worrying about you.

He walked past her, pressing a kiss to her temple, but it was quick. Distant.

Like she was just another part of his routine.

And gods, she wished she didn’t care.

Cassian sat down, diving into the meal she made, and Y/N just watched him.

She wondered if he had ever once considered how much she gave to him. If he knew how deeply she loved him. If he realized how much of herself she had let wither away just to keep him standing.

Would he even notice if she stopped?

She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

All the times I waited

For you to want me naked Made it all look painless

The bedroom was dimly lit when Cassian finally joined her.

Y/N was already curled beneath the sheets, her back to the door, pretending to sleep.

She felt the bed dip as he slid in beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close, pressing a lazy kiss to her shoulder.

It should have made her melt.

But all it did was make her want to cry.

Because she had waited—gods, she had waited—for him to see her, to reach for her the way she always reached for him.

And every time, it felt like too little, too late.

Cassian’s lips trailed down her neck, his hand slipping under the blanket. “Missed you today,” he murmured against her skin.

Did you?

She almost said it.

Almost shattered the fragile illusion that had kept them together all this time.

But instead, she turned in his arms, let him kiss her, let him touch her. Let herself believe—if only for tonight—that this was enough.

I, I loved you

And I still do Just wanted passion from you Just wanted what I gave you

Y/N stood by the window, staring at the city below, at the stars above.

Cassian was still asleep.

For once, she hadn’t stayed beside him, hadn’t let him anchor her to a place where she felt so unseen.

She wasn’t sure how she had let it get this far.

She loved him—gods, she loved him—but love was supposed to be seen. Love was supposed to be felt.

And Cassian… he had gotten so used to her being there, to her giving without asking, that he had never considered she might need something, too.

Her heart clenched, and she pressed her palm against her chest, as if she could hold herself together.

She wasn’t sure she could keep living like this.

She wasn’t sure Cassian would even notice if she left.

And that—more than anything—was what broke her.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Want to join my tag list? Drop a comment or check out this link to submit a specific series you would like tagged in! (Or if you just don't want to comment, that's okay too)

[andre-and-cal]

heh. . . request!! uhh cal Getz into some sort of accident and has brain damage :( now it's up to you to determine what will happen wit the zero day plans . . .

AHHH MY BABYYY 😔🙏 Your wish is my command! This was super fun to dew !! :3

What if Cal got a severe head injury before Zero Day?

Starting off, I think that Cal would suffer a serious blow to the head from getting in a vehicle collision with his parents. This is one of the most common ways people get a traumatic brain injury. The other driver was at fault for being under the influence of alcohol, and Cal’s parents ended up suing the man to cover his medical bills. The airbag had saved Mrs. Gabriel’s life, and she was only given a broken nose, while Calvin had hit the dashboard— his frontal lobe and temporal lobe sustaining the worst of the hit.

Following, when Andre found out, he was shocked. While Zero Day was at the back of his mind, he was extremely worried about Calvin. He wanted to know what happened in detail, if the guy he held so dearly was getting fixed up, if he was okay or if he’d be fine within a few days. He couldn’t imagine that the Calvin Gabriel he’s known for years… was temporarily incapacitated. He couldn’t stand it as he paced around his room, his worry turning into agitation while waiting for Cal to call him from the hospital, to assure him that he was alright. He never did. Andre almost didn’t want to accept how things were gonna be now. So, he decided to hop in his car and drive to the hospital himself. Andre’s parents wanted to wait a little bit, unsure if Calvin was even ready for visits. But Andre didn’t care. He needed to see him.

In the hospital, Calvin was in bed with some monitors hooked up to him. He had sustained a moderate traumatic brain injury (TBI) and had a large, puffy bandage wrapped around his head. He wasn’t in a coma; he just wasn’t even really awake. He’d been having sporadic seizures, so he had to get an EEG (Electroencephalogram) done, and then soon an MRI scan for his head. Overall, he wasn’t in good shape. When Andre arrived to see him, he’d greeted Cal’s parents, the somber atmosphere enveloping them. Then he went over to Cal’s side, absentmindedly placing a hand on his arm, then his hand. The sight of Cal in this state really made Andre want to break down— and he hadn’t broken down since he was a kid. Yet he didn’t, instead remaining stoic even though he was hurting on the inside. He just wanted Cal to be okay.

A couple days later, Cal’s seizures had ceased— though he still had to stay in the hospital for a few more weeks. Andre decided to visit him again, with his parents coming along with him. Upon arrival, he was relieved that Cal was mostly awake now; he looked down at him over his hospital bed, observing his features, and he tucked a strand of blond hair behind his ear. He wanted to show him some affection so badly, and while he previously didn’t want his parents to get suspicious of their close affinity, he didn’t really care at this point in time. He just didn’t want to hurt Cal. As mentioned prior, he’d experienced a gut feeling that told him Zero Day probably wasn’t going to happen anymore. He was okay with that, even when normally he wouldn’t really be able to dispose of Zero Day. But Cal meant more to him than their plans of violence, and he just wanted to make sure he was going to be alright.

After his stay in the hospital, Calvin was set to stay in bed for another week— except, he’d be at home now. His motor control was noticeably fine for the most part, but since he’d hit an area in his frontal lobe— which controls his executive function, impulse control, attention, and cognitive and motor abilities— he’d still gained a little head and hand twitch. In addition, he developed restless legs, and his ADHD was substantially worsened. He started getting migraines more often and he’s gotten short-term amnesia. He literally cannot remember what he did 10 minutes ago, even though it usually comes to him later in the day.

Also, his impulse management is now poor, and he blurts sentences out without meaning to. With his temporal lobe damage, sometimes it’s hard for him to hear certain tones of voices, so sometimes he has to ask for people to speak up. During the first week he was in the hospital, he suffered from dysphasia, often speaking slowly and incoherently. However, this has since improved. His ability to process given directions and language is around the same as it was from when he was in the hospital, but Andre has been trying to resolve these issues with him.

Andre has been staying over a lot more than he used to and working with Cal’s parents as well as his own to try and teach him what information he may have lost after the brain injury. He knows recovery will be difficult, but he wants Calvin to be like his old self again. It’s tough for Andre, thinking about what he went through and all. Cal remembers the accident, having described to Andre about what he remembered from it, and he has refused to get into Andre’s car ever since that day. Which— Andre has tried to push him to overcome these fears at first, but he realizes it’s easier said than done. So he became more understanding about it.

Also, he hasn’t brought up Zero Day to Cal. He isn’t sure if he even remembers their plans, but he’s pretty positive that he doesn’t— Cal hasn’t brought it up to him since he came home. Besides, even if he is able to recall their plans, he doesn’t want to be selfish. Losing Zero Day is upsetting, but practically losing Cal for a brief period of time was even more upsetting. It’s a big change for both boys, but Andre has recognized how much Cal means to him, Zero Day or no Zero Day. Sometimes he’s thought of what he would’ve done if Cal had gotten killed in the wreck. Andre knows he would’ve ended it or done something rash. After all, he can’t live without Cal.

[miyagi-hokarate]

Random assortment of season 6 part 3 and series finale thoughts:

It's actually quite hard to formulate articulate thoughts when the overwhelming majority while watching the finale was negativity and disgust

BECAUSE OHHHHH MAN, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT....

I don't even know where to begin

Okay I guess I could start from the beginning. WHY is Kwon's death treated so LAX.

I can't be the only person who thought that Kwon's death and the legal/emotional ramifications of that (or lack thereof) felt so lackluster??? A KID DIED. EVEN BESIDES THE FACT THERE'D BE AN INVESTIGATION ABOUT THIS (because we all know Cobra Kai would ignore a sense of realism if it meant getting to the badass part), DOZENS OF PEOPLE SAW A DEAD PERSON WITH THEIR OWN EYES. I could believe the Sekai Taikai breeding such a competition-hungry crowd that they're cannibalizing themself into turning back towards their fatal "darker" years, but it's sickening seeing these characters want to bounce back without so much as a second thought about what killed Kwon, because it wasn't just a blade. IT WASN'T JUST THE BLADE. WHY DO THEY NOT CARE. Also fuck Mitch for eating nachos during Kwon's moment of silence.

I'm sorry everybody who ships them I truly am but I just cannot deny the fact that I am just anti Jarmen. It's such a stupid thing and I hate that it's come to this point, but genuinely every moment Johnny and Carmen are smiling and being a family made me feel the same sick feeling as watching The Stepford Wives. I just caaaaan't watch Johnny and Carmen be so fucking happy like it's a trad life progaganda campaign. The way Johnny and Carmen barely feel like actual, nuanced characters — ESPECIALLY CARMEN, who gets the short end of the fucking stick when it comes to characterization and Actual Depth — to then be representative of this heteronormative, nuclear family ideal picture perfect bullshit just ruins the idea of them two. This especially hurts Carmen, who's basically stuck in storage until she could be turned on to become Miguel's Mom, Johnny's Girlfriend, Johnny's Wife, the fucking Jarmen baby's MOM AGAIN. Carmen's identity as a character is chained to either her son or her main character love interest, and it's sickening watching the Jarmen scenes celebrate this pastiche of domestic bliss.

I hated the proposal. I don't even have anything else to say about this. I just hated the proposal so much.

The American Exceptionalism present in this part actually made this hard to watch Jesus Christ. There's nothing more awful than watching a sequel television show to a movie trilogy that criticized American militarism and imperialism to now having a blond blue-eyed man barking like a drill sargeant to his child soldiers in a karate tournament with a kill count to "show those international assholes".

This show loooooooves using women to fuel the storylines for men and cutting corners by not even showing the female character's perspective or role just to make it all about the man Kumiko Girl I Am So Sorry.

When I said I wanted Chozen to get all the bitches, this is not what I meant. Chozen Toguchi, you remain one of the weirdest character decays in modern television, and I wish everyone who got you there dead.

I like the Samtory scene :) I'm not gonna pretend and act like Sam and Tory being girl best friends wasn't the thing that made me smile the hardest. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I'm conflicted about my thoughts on Sam's storyline and ESPECIALLY TORY'S. With at least Sam, she's getting the opportunity to explore her future that isn't so tied with karate or Daniel, which is good for her! SURE, it would have been nice to see her compete, but honestly the fact that Sam had a the option to leave karate and did so on her volition because of her values feels mote satisfying to me, compared to Tory and Robby. Regarding Tory, I really wish I could be happy for how her story ends — but, like Robby, there's just something aggravating seeing that karate is made out to be her only option pass high school. And in a way, because we never got anything substantial about Tory's interests and passion outside of karate, it is??? Nevermind that karate — no, COBRA KAI — had gotten Tory into so much trouble, made her into a child soldier for a cult, weaponized her grief and anger, etc. I don't know what a "good" end to Tory's story should have looked like, but it's hard to say for me if this was it.

SPEAKING OF, a character I definitely feel like their story was unsatisfying as fuck was ROBBY. At least Sam had the OPTION to leave. Robby was MADE. AND SURE, HE GETS THE SPONSORSHIP BULLSHIT TOO, BUT WHAT A STUPID DEUS EX MACHINA. And that whole thing about Robby being happy he doesn't need to win, because he has his Family? With Johnny? Shut the fuck up.

Robby coming in to save the day by conveniently daying I wuv you~ to Tory. Fuck you all I hate this fucking show.

ON A HAPPIER NOTE, Miguel's feels more fleshed out and satisfying as a whole. Mayyybe the flashbacks did hit 🙄🙄🙄 Miguel's progression, while it's had its stalls, remains one of the stronger parts of Cobra Kai as a whole, and Miguel's journey culminating into proving himself against Axel and going to his dream college, having grown so much as a person with what he's learned in karate and in life, did pull on my heartstrings. And regardless of everything else, Miguel and Johnny's relationship felt strong from the start and until the end.

You knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I was fucking obsessed with the archival footage you knowwwwwwwww

Ralph Macchio and William Zabka were acting their asses off in scenes that otherwise pissed me off

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, KREESE AND SILVER'S DEATH PISSED ME OFF TOO. I can't even formulate the reasons why I find their deaths so unsatisfying, but MAN WHAT THE HELL. The closest I could approximate is just the utter bullshit that is Kreese's redemption arc — NOW is when he realizes the harm he's caused? NOW is when he's going back and apologizing to the people he's hurt? NOW Kreese is the one to do the noble act of killing himself and Silver? Come the fuck ON. I don't even think I'm mad that it's come so late, but that it feels so rushed and contrived to get Kreese and Silver out of the story as quick as possible (WHICH IS A HUGE ISSUE FOR COBRA KAI AS A WHOLE). AND THE FACT THAT NOBODY REALLY REFLECTS UPON THEM MISSING? I SUPPOSE THE OTHER CHARACTERS SORT OF KNEW, BUT NO THOUGHTS? NOTHING? THESE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE MANIPULATED SO MANY, THAT HAVE HURT AND MADE OTHERS HURT, THAT KEEP THESE CHARACTERS IN A CAGE OF TRAUMA — JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE??

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JOHNNY BREAKING DOWN TO KREESE WHAT HE DID WRONG ALSO MADE ME MAD. Because you know what, Kreese WAS there to be Johnny's role model and he DID teach him strength. And Kreese abused Johnny, poisoned his mind, and want to kill and keep killing him. And it's all connected and the same fist that represented strength is the same fist that beat Johnny down. And I'm so mad that Johnny is angry at Kreese for abandoning him when Kreese had been choking Johnny on a leash, dragging him to throw him into the street. He abandoned you and suffocated you. What the FUCK, Cobra Kai

Idk man I wish I could be happy about Johnny bringing back Cobra Kai. But this EXACT issue has been like this from the beginning, that it's not specifically the NAME or whether it's Johnny or Kreese or Silver or Kim teaching. It's the fact that Cobra Kai, since its inception, is a product of a jingoistic, militaristic fighting technique FROM A US VETERAN that breeds violence and cruelty for the sake of domination and name. I know Cobra Kai (the show) has tried to distance the dojo into being more connected to Korean Tang Soo Do, but it's so fucking frustrating that they'll ignore the dojo's roots in the American Military and specifically American imperialism of Kreese's direct influence because they don't think it's a bad thing!!! I can say so much about how I dislike the the attempt to distance Cobra Kai from Kreese, but ohhh my godddd

Daniel and Johnny 🙃 Mr. Miyagi 🙃🙃

First of all, the AI was ugly as shit

Second of all, the necklace arc coming down to a misunderstanding is aggravating but whatever an immigrant man framed as a criminal sure fucking whatever man. The fact that it's taken this show six seasons to mention the injustice Japanese-Americans suffered through by the American government detaining them under racist suspicion is fucking awful.

Third of all, in spite of Cobra Kai and Daniel carrying the legacy of Mr. Miyagi after his (and Pat Morita's) death, Mr. Miyagi does not feel like an echoed presence in the show. Perhaps this would have been too much to ask for, considering Johnny is the main character, and Cobra Kai needs to have its own identity outside of The Karate Kid in some way. However, the lack of presence (and I don't mean physical) of Mr. Miyagi to me is deafening in its silence. Of all the characters coming back to the Cobra Kai, the one that feels most absent is Mr. Miyagi. How does that absence make its place in the narrative? Do viewers feel his absence? Are they looking back to what Mr. Miyagi taught? Are they missing on his presence? Can they feel what they missed? I don't know if this makes sense, but I'm just thinking about the last of Cobra Kai and their defining legacy on the people who've watched, and those who could have gone through all of Cobra Kai and not cared about Mr. Miyagi. Ughghhggg.

Daniel saying "Cobra Kai never dies" makes me wish I die

Daniel this whole fucking part is just a mess. That dream??? Him manifesting as Kreese??? I can't even express how tired I was of this show. Don't even started on the fucking Cobra Kai gi.

There's so much I hadn't covered: half the cast being missing because Cobra Kai doesn't know how to stop making too many characters to have satisfying presences, the difference in depth between Axel and Zara, the way this show completely bypasses almost all its Asian characters, Chozen getting with Kim are you kidding me, All of Kim really, Laura's grave having the most egregious continuity error I've seen, Binary Boyfriends, etc., but I'm so tired and I hate this show.

It's been a shitshow. I love you all. Goodnight.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@jollyhunter

Okay, I'm finally home and this was such a wonderful thing to read through! It made my day 😊

Girl, let me tell you I was also giggling the entire time I wrote this. This fic was so self indulgent because the reader IS me, one billion percent, the awkward anxious person who has no idea how to catch someone's attention 😆 But I love it resonated with you too (but I'm also sorry it took you back to your past trauma lol 😂)

I love your writing style and especially the way you add humor!! Like this had me already cracking up - Butcher and the boys x LotR, where’s my funfic, hm??

Oh goodness THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🥰 I literally laugh to myself the whole time I write and most of the time I'm scared no one else will get the jokes, but thank you that really means a lot 💗 But YES the subtle Eomer drop... if you haven't read As Tradition Dictates, you need to because it's so good and it's been living rent free in my head since I read it. And oh my word the cross over would be wild- Soldier Boy does act like an Orc sometimes, but we love him for it anyway 🤣

It’s a real struggle 😭

Amen it is 🫶🏻

Sneaky bastard - I feel like he’s only saying that because he’s afraid that he will fall for her. (Probably already has and is taking his chance now since she’d basically friend zoned him 😂)

He could be... 😏 You could be getting dangerously close to the truth there my friend 😉

EDIT: I FORGOT TO COMMENT ON THE FRIGGIN LOCUSTS SUPE - I’d pay to see that scene; Butcher and Soldier Boy running from a swarm of locusts because they can’t punch or shoot their way out as usual and making a deal to never talk about this embarrassing moment again 🤣

You know, I am so happy you pointed this out, because I really didn't think that in depth about what that scene would look like. And I hate locusts so I was like... what supe power would just be too much for me. BUT THAT IS SO FUNNY! I can see Butcher firing off like two shots into the swarm, while Ben kinda holds up his shield half-heartedly debating if it's worth it (it's not), and the reader and Hughie are already in the car with all the windows rolled up just watching it unfold. Even funnier would be her not letting Butcher or Ben into the car because she doesn't want any of the locusts to get in and she's shooing the two of them away. 😂

NOW WHERE‘S MY PART TWO?? I’M READY

Running joke I have is that I really can't write a one-shot to save my life... and this fic is no exception. I would love to make this a series (and I sort of accidentally plotted one out for this lol). The problem is I'm trying to finish up a soulmate AU series I started last year for Soldier Boy called If The Stars Wish It So and I have a prompt celebration running so I want to finish up those two things before I start a series based on this fic... BUT I do want to, because I love fake dating and I think that I could make this exceptionally awkward and funny lol.

But I am so happy that you liked this one sweetie and thank you so much for all the lovely feedback! 💜

Promise Not To Fall In Love With Me

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader and a little bit of Billy Butcher x f!reader

Prompt: "I find him very attractive." /"I'm standing right here"/ "I know."

Requested by: @angrydragon90

Tropes: Fake Dating, Pining.

Summary:  When you first joined Butcher's team the last thing you expected was to develop a crush on him, but after two years of pining, you get a proposition from the last person you'd expect to care.

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just in case (I don't really think it is). Some cursing, Sexual innuendo, References to sex, Over glorification of a man's shirtless body (I'm not complaining) Reader is a little anxious/anxiety/socially awkward? Drug use/Drinking (Soldier Boy), Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy (He's a warning, we all know it and somehow still love him for it).

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Main Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Prompt Celebration Masterlist

A/N: This is the third fic for my prompt celebration! This one was requested the incredible @angrydragon90 💗 Had to do something with a little bit of Valentine's Day spirit, but I'm going to be honest, this one turned into something that I didn't expect... let me know what y'all think. I also was thinking about @zepskies fic As Tradition Dictates for the more *ahem* gratuitous descriptions of Butcher 😉

Butcher’s muscles rippled over his bare chest and broad shoulders with every swing of the mighty axe down to the earth. Each strike of the axe against wood sent chips of bark flickering in the air around him like sparks. Sweat rolled down his sun kissed skin curving in the dips of his muscular torso, along the tensing muscles of his back, and through the dusting of hair on his torso, before disappearing into the waistband of the dark jeans hung low on his hips. 

Heat kisses your cheeks and darkens the skin the longer you watch him and you bite your lip hard to keep the appreciative sigh of the scene in front of you at bay. But it does little to stop your eyes which rove over the rugged man chopping wood. 

No man his age should look that good. 

Butcher props one of his feet up on the tree stump he’s been using as a table oblivious to your attention, shouldering the axe for a moment to glance at the stack of firewood he’d chopped, looking like a mighty warrior surveying his lands. 

Your mind starts to slip into a fantasy of a shirtless Butcher riding horseback across a desolate plain, his dark hair long, and a sword strapped to his saddle commanding a group of riders behind him to his every whim. Before scooping you up onto his saddle to ride with him, his strong arm wrapped around your waist, and his face buried in the soft skin of your neck, his rough whisper in your ear a grating caress as he-

You clear your throat, cheeks darkening crimson, and take in a shaky breath to dissipate the daydream that usually starred in several of your fantasies. The same ones that probably came from the romantasy book that you’d brought along on this trip and were too embarrassed to read when anyone else was awake.

He raises a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow, shuffling it back through his hair that turns a chestnut brown in the light of the setting sun that flickered through the thick forest surrounding the small cabin you were all staying in.

Oh to be a drop of sweat.

You think mournfully, taking a long sip of your lemonade out of a brightly colored bendy straw, the same lemonade that you’d made in hopes of enticing Butcher over for a break.

It had worked, but only for twenty seconds.

Twenty glorious seconds that you got to bask in Butcher’s presence so close that you could smell the familiar cologne and the scent of sweat clinging to his skin while he drank the lemonade and you tried not to stare at his bare chest for too long. You hoped that Butcher thought the flush on your cheeks had everything to do with the heat and nothing to do with all the things you were imagining him doing to you. 

And then there had been an additional two seconds when Butcher smiled at you and said “Thanks poppet” in the swoon worthy accent of his that made your knees weak before he sauntered back over to the woodpile and you watched him go shamelessly. 

Hughie says something to Butcher you can’t hear, but it makes Butcher laugh. He throws his head back with a wide grin that makes you sigh to yourself again, hands tensing where they sit poised over the tangle of wires in your lap. 

You were supposed to be working on a new gadget to help grapple up buildings, one that you and Frenchie had designed together, but you were distracted by Butcher. 

You were always distracted by him. 

It had been three days since Butcher, Soldier Boy, Hughie, and you arrived at the cabin in the middle of nowhere after a mission went wrong. The specifics weren’t important, let’s just say that there was a miscommunication and what the four of you thought was a supe who could turn into a single locust, was actually able to turn into a swarm of locust so thick you couldn’t see an inch in front of your face. 

You had a sneaking suspicion that MM and Frenchie had something to do with the miscommunication, given how eager they had been to stay behind at headquarters and do paperwork, and the secretive smiles they had shared at the briefing before your team left.

But needless to say, none of you had been eager to live through a reenactment of the eighth plague and all decided to lay low to consider your options, while hoping the locust supe didn’t decimate all of the corn in the midwest.

You shudder remembering the crawl of the scratchy legs along your skin, the flapping of millions of wings like the beat of a drum, the crunch of locusts underfoot, and the low pitched hum of the swarm that vibrated so loud it made you feel your body shaking from the inside out. 

At this point I would have taken a swarm of guinea pigs.

The cabin wasn’t the worst place you’d stayed at in all the time you’d worked with Butcher. There was running water and several rooms inside including two bedrooms with lumpy pillows and mattresses with creaking springs, a living room with a sagging floral couch, and a threadbare kitchen with dusty cabinets and doors that fell off whenever someone tried to open one. 

Outside the cabin there was a small patch of wildflowers that fluttered in the strong wind that blew from the East, an overgrown garden where tomato plants, potatoes, and herbs grew without care, and a small front yard that was more of a grassy clearing. 

Sure the cabin had it’s quirks, but the real problem was that the four of you were trapped here in the middle of summer with a generator that only did so much for electricity, but had no air conditioning whatsoever, which meant it was cooler to sit outside on the porch than inside the sweltering cabin. 

Overall, it had been three days of nothing, but listening to Soldier Boy bitch about the lack of extracurricular activities, three days of nothing but hearing the soft chuckle under Hughie’s breath when he texted Annie, and three days of nothing but you lusting after a man who was twice your age chopping wood.

Why was he chopping wood when it was so hot and none of you needed it… You had no idea, but you figured that the universe was finally throwing you a bone because you got to watch him do it.

The porch was cooler than sitting inside. There were two creaky rocking chairs that faced the overgrown “front yard” that was more of a clearing and the breeze did weave under the overhang of the roof to wick the sweat that gathered at the back of your neck, but the problem was, it was impossible for you to feel anything but warm, especially with what was unfolding in front of you. 

The weather isn’t the only thing heating up.

You think to yourself watching Butcher lean down to pick up another piece of wood, admiring the way his worn dark jeans cup his muscular ass.

Fuck, I’m just as bad as Soldier Boy. 

The truth was, you’d been crushing on Butcher for the better part of two years since the moment the two of you met on your first day when you’d tripped and dropped the giant pile of blueprints you were carrying to your desk and he was the only one who stopped to help you pick them up. 

After Homelander had been stripped of his powers and exposed for the narcissistic psychotic freak he was, you’d started working at Supe Affairs, thinking that it was the perfect way for you to make a difference in a world reeling from the revelation. It had shaken quite a few people to know that the so-called heroes they looked up to were in fact just as crooked as a line drawn by an elephant on a tricycle. 

But you liked your job… sometimes. 

Sure, the pay sucked, the benefits were dismal and the hours were long, but you didn’t care about any of that. You felt like you were making a difference, using the engineering degree that your dad had insisted on for something other than trying to figure out how to build a bridge that withstood the force of a punch from someone as strong as Homelander. 

And you hadn’t meant to develop a crush on William Butcher of all people, you swore that each day to yourself, but it happened without warning. He was nice to you, he always had your back on missions, and sometimes when you were working on something after hours on a mission- like the gadget in your lap- Butcher would sit with you while everyone else slept, nursing a glass of whatever it was he had, and he always made you feel like a valued member of the team.

Yes, he might be a little rough around the edges, but you liked that about him, that he didn’t pull punches, rather he told it like it was. It was refreshing in the world you lived in when everyone else was so afraid of offending someone that they just kept their mouths shut. 

But the problem was that you were younger than him and a little inexperienced. 

Well… a lot inexperienced. You’d never been in a relationship before, never really done anything before because there wasn’t time when you were in school getting your degree, not to mention you had spent the last two years imagining yourself in a relationship with a man who didn’t know you existed.

That might be a little harsh, he knew you existed, obviously, but rather he didn’t see you as anything more than a teammate or at least like a little sister. The nicknames that he called you were all some form of “kiddo” or “poppet.” Nothing like the things you’d read about men calling the women they loved in books or heard in movies. 

The most experience you had in the realm of love and relationships was binge watching Sex and The City (you could quote it by heart), flipping through Cosmopolitan Magazine and other articles about love on the internet like they were opioids, and reading through romance novels reverently as if they held the secrets of the universe. 

Not to mention the draft of the romance novel on your computer… but you’d go to the grave before anyone ever saw that, and if they did see it you’d take them with you. 

Reading about relationships was easier than having one, at least that was what you told yourself to feel better. It also didn’t help that you’d seen two out of three sisters married with kids, with the third one getting married in a few weeks and you without even a shadow of a date for the wedding.

That meant you would be stuck at the awkward reject table again with your weird fourth cousin who always came on to you and tried to show you the rooster tattoo he had on his hip bone, your dad’s brother who cleaned his dentures in public after he ate and his wife who always asked you what you were “doing” with your life and curled her lip up in distaste no matter what you said, and the gaggle of their ungrateful children who were always sticky for some reason and chewed with their mouths open while spilling food all over the table like cavemen.

Sitting there with them made facing the locust supe more appealing.

But even with the pressure of trying to find someone, anyone to take, you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell Butcher how you felt about him. 

Butcher glances over as if he can sense you and you immediately drop your eyes to the bundle of gears and wires in your lap pretending to fiddle with something that doesn’t need to be fixed.

Yes, because that’s the way I’m going to win him over, by making absolutely no eye contact. Perfect, masterful. What can go wrong?

What the books, magazines, tv shows, and movies didn’t prepare you for was how to find the courage to talk to someone of the opposite sex without feeling like your tongue was going to drop out of your mouth or like you were going to throw up. 

You wait a few beats until you’re sure that he’s no longer looking at you before you raise your head to watch Butcher again. 

Ben chuckles under his breath where he sits beside you in the other rocking chair, leaning back with one of his hands behind his head. His muscles tense in the black t-shirt as he adjusts his arm. 

“What?” You ask him. 

He exhales a long and obnoxious cloud of foul smelling smoke from the joint he has in his hand. “I think you’re a hypocrite.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re out here eye-fucking that asshole and you yell at me for staring at you.” He chuckles with a wide smirk as he takes another hit from the blunt.

How can he smoke that? It’s like 100 degrees out here!

“I am not!” You reply as loudly as you dare, glancing over to Butcher to make sure that he didn’t hear Ben’s comment, anxiety prickling along the back of your neck, but he’s still talking to Hughie about something. “And you don’t just stare at me! You come up behind me like some gremlin out of hell, with your big hands and-”

“We both know how much you like the attention doll.”

“I do not!” Your cheeks flare bright red. 

The only downside to working on Butcher’s team was sitting directly next to you. When you found out that you’d be working with Soldier Boy, one of your dad’s favorite heroes, you were excited to meet him, and then you had and he turned into another giant disappointment. He was loud, brash, short-tempered, rude, and was always either ogling you, coming on to you, smoking something, or drinking. 

You supposed it could be worse. You didn’t hate him, and you got along with him, but he was always around. The plus side was that Ben was the one of the only people you didn’t have a hard time talking to.

Yes, he was attractive, but his particular lifestyle didn’t appeal to you and for that reason whatever nerves you had about talking to attractive men of the opposite sex evaporated when it came to Ben. 

It was unfortunate that such a skill was wasted on him of all people.

“I just-” You hesitate, eyes dropping back down to the grappling device in your lap, not sure why you’re about to admit this to Soldier Boy when you haven’t been able to admit it to anyone else. 

Probably because I’m sick of singing the line from Frozen “conceal don’t feel” over and over in my head.

“I find him extremely attractive.” You mumble on a shaky breath. 

“I’m sitting right here.” The frown in Ben’s voice is prominent, but it only makes you roll your eyes at him. 

“I know.” Your eyebrows furrow together. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Why are you looking at him when you could have my full attention.” He leans forward, dark hair falling forward into his eyes, mouth pulling up in a confident smirk. "I mean there's nothing else to fucking do, might as well do me."

Your cheeks flush with his words, but you tilt your head to the side to study him, eyes slipping over his rugged features. Tracing over the neatly trimmed beard on his cheeks, the brilliant green eyes that seemed to glow, the way his muscular body filled out his black t-shirt and blue jeans, the soft dusting of freckles that contrasted the hardness of the man he was flecked over his skin, and his full lips that are curved up in a sinful smirk that would make even the strongest woman crumble. 

But not you. Ben was… Ben. He was brash, obnoxious, handsy, impatient, and disrespectful. 

At least, that’s what you thought.

Sure you didn’t work with him often, but you believed you had a pretty good grasp on the kind of person he was. You did, right?

“You’re not my type Benny.” Your eyes flick back to the project in your lap, moving your fingers deftly through the wires of the internal mechanism.

Ben recoils at the use of his nickname, but he recovers with a low chuckle. “Don’t call me that and I’m everybody's type.”

“Not mine. I don’t like supes.”

You weren’t sure if that was 100% true. You liked Kimiko. What you meant to say was that you didn’t like supes like him. Supes that used his powers without care for the consequences, Supes like Homelander who didn’t give a shit who got hurt as long as the job was done. 

And you weren’t a supe, which meant that if you were with a supe there was always the possibility of you dying during sex or dying before you had sex in the first place. Your job also presented the possibility of you dying before you’d had sex, but you weren’t going to let that hold you back.

“But Butcher has-” Ben begins to say.

“Temporary powers. Not all the time.” You correct, unable to stop your eyes from drifting back over to where Butcher has begun to start swinging the axe again. “And look at him. Fuck, he’s over there like Paul Bunyan, rugged, chopping wood-” You sigh continuing to watch the man who probably has no idea you exist.

Ben rolls his eyes. “I could do that.”

You don’t pay Ben any attention, because Butcher is bending over again and you bite the inside of your cheek hard. 

Ben sits there for another few beats watching you watch Butcher. The wind chimes that hang above your heads jingle merrily as the breeze picks up once more bringing the smell of the wild flowers and wet earth from the forest surrounding the cabin. 

“You know I could help you.” Ben says slowly.

Your eyes flick back to Ben from Butcher in confusion. “Help me?”

What is he talking about? Does he think he can figure out how to fix the grapple gun? The other day he couldn’t figure out how to open the automatic trunk of a car and he just ripped the trunk door right off.

“Get him.” Ben nods his head in Butcher’s direction, but you’re still confused.

“How?”

And why? Why does Soldier Boy want to help me of all people?

“Well, I could help you make him jealous.” Ben leans towards you, his eyes sweeping once over you as he does, lingering too long on your chest and the edge of the jean shorts you were wearing.

“And how would you do that?”

“Well for starters you could come sit on my lap baby, see how you like it.” Ben winks. “Take me for a little ride.”

“Pass.” You roll your eyes. 

“Oh I see you want to have a more advanced lesson.” He smiles, scooting his chair towards yours, a dull scrape of wood on wood, so now his knee is touching yours. “He could catch an earful of us tonight. I’d be happy to fuck you. It’d give me something to do.” Ben takes another hit of his joint, the smoke making you scrunch your nose in distaste, while he gives you an appreciative once over. “Fuck knows the only entertainment I’ve had for three fucking days is my hand and it would be good to have a nice tight-“

“No thanks.” You interrupt, face flushing when you imagine what he was about to say.

Ben stiffens in surprise. “What?”

“I’m good.” You shrug. “I’m gonna get him the old fashioned way.”

The same old fashioned way that I’ve been using for the past two years and had absolutely no results.

“And what way is that? Pining after him and hoping that one day he’ll finally notice you?” Ben scoffs. “I can see how well that’s working for you doll-face. How long have you been working with him?”

“Two years-”

“Fuck, two years?” Ben sputters. “You should just tell him that you want him to fuck you.” 

“That won’t work.”

Ben’s face scrunches in confusion, the joint clasped in between his thumb and forefinger forgotten. “Why the hell not?”

“Because-” You glance down at your hands, thumb running along the jagged edge of the grappling hook slightly embarrassed. The last thing you wanted to tell Soldier Boy was that you were a virgin. The guy would mock you endlessly. “Because I’m younger than him and he’s-”

He’s experienced. 

“So? You think that he hasn’t thought about fucking you?” Ben takes a long sip from the whiskey sitting beside his chair. “He’d be lucky to have a little piece like you.”

You blink in surprise. It was the closest to a compliment that Ben had ever given you. He did tend to compliment your figure whenever you were around, but you usually ignored that because he did that to everyone. 

Truthfully, the thought of dating Ben didn’t appeal to you at all, but the thought of using him to make Butcher jealous was not a terrible one. And at this point, you didn’t have anything to lose. 

Well… except THAT, but you wanted it to be special, at least that’s what you’d always told yourself.

You sigh, a little frustrated, watching Butcher out of the corner of your eye swing the axe in a glorious arch to the earth. You weren’t sure how to get Butcher’s attention. You’d tried the usual things…

Leaving the room as soon as he walked in to avoid a conversation.

Gone completely mute when he asked you a question.

Pretended you didn’t see him whenever he walked into a room.

Tried to bring him coffee, but then chickened out and drank his and yours and then immediately had to go to the bathroom to avoid shitting your pants while having heart palpitations.

Basically the social anxiety was working wonders on the office romance you wanted so badly. 

“Ben?” You say tentatively, hands tightening on the contraption in your lap. At this rate you were never going to fix it and Butcher was going to have to figure out how to fly. 

“Yes, gorgeous?” Ben raises an eyebrow. The blunt is between his lips now and he’s looking at you curiously.

“If we did pretend to be…” You swallow nervously. 

“Fucking?” He leans forward eagerly, eyes twinkling with interest.

Well… I’ve never understood what it meant when someone wrote “his eyes darkened” until this very moment. 

“Dating” You correct holding up a finger.

Does his mind always go to the gutter?

You remember everything you think you know about Ben.

Yes. Yes it does.

Ben leans back with a frown. “I don’t date.”

“Well it wouldn’t be real! You’d just be helping me make him jealous and it would be nice to have a little practice maybe…”

“Practice?” He looks confused. It wasn’t the first time he had in this conversation or within the last five minutes, but like hell you were about to admit without at least one drink to Soldier Boy the extent of your dating life.

“Yeah. I’m not the best at talking to people or-”

“You’re talking just fine right now.”

“You’re different.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you annoy me and I don’t know you’re easier to talk to for some reason!” 

“Thanks.” Ben says dryly. 

By now all the anxious energy has begun to pop and crackle against your skin at the thought of what the two of you could be doing and at the thought of you two actually pulling this off and you having a shot with Butcher. Not just a shot in hell, a real shot.

“But if you’re serious about helping me get him-“ You continue.

“I was.”

It was odd that he was the one who had suggested this in the first place, and even weirder that he didn’t seem hesitant at all to be doing this. 

Maybe he thinks that we’re going to have sex. Your throat tightened at the thought, eyes widening, your nerve endings electrifying with anxiety. Oh holy fuck what if he thinks that if we do this he’ll get to do whatever he wants to me?

You clear your throat, heart beating just a little bit harder in your chest. The entire situation was making you regret the extra cup of coffee you had this morning. “What exactly would I have to do?” You don’t recognize your voice. It comes out a little more wobbly and just a little more tentative than it was. 

You didn’t know what Ben was expecting you to do and you didn’t want to say yes, only for him to force you into sleeping with him like he’d suggested earlier, the most you'd thought the two of you would do is just make out a little-

Oh holy fuck then we’d have to kiss and I don’t know if I’m a good kisser and he’s definitely kissed more than one person not to mention he’s-

The thought made you flush to the roots of your hair. 

Ben hesitates, eyeing you and you wonder if he can hear the deranged monologue inside your head or if he can hear just how hard your heart was beating. You hoped not. 

“You wouldn’t have to do anything, doll. I’m not going to force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” There’s something genuine in his eyes when he answers your question, something that you’d never noticed before. 

Your mouth drops open in surprise. 

It wasn’t that you believed that Ben was that kind of man, but rather that what he just said to you might have been the most caring thing that he’d ever uttered in front of you. He was the last person that you’d expect to care about someone being uncomfortable or care if someone else was okay with everything that was happening in the bedroom.

Maybe I don’t know him as well as I think I do.

In all honesty you only knew the way Ben acted, you didn’t know anything about his life. The man kept his cards closer to his chest than a well-seasoned card player and his poker face, forget it. You couldn’t crack that combination even if you wanted to. 

Everything else you'd heard about him was through the grapevine of gossip at work. None of it was first hand.

Ben sighs and shakes his head at you as if he’s a little annoyed with himself for saying that out loud. “But I still think it would be easier if you just told him that you wanted him to fuck you. Would’ve worked on me.”

“I’m not good at that sort of thing.”

And it was true. You could take down a target, diffuse a bomb in less than ten seconds with a thin mint and a bobby pin, but saying something out loud like that to something else made you feel nauseous.

Ben hesitates again and in his hesitation the anxiety and embarrassment starts to come soaring back into your chest.

You were asking Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy, to pretend to date you so Billy Butcher would fall in love with you. 

Well kids, this must be what rock bottom feels like. I might as well just pray that the locusts come back to take me away. 

“Fine.” Ben states. 

“Really?” Your eyes widen.

He shrugs, but doesn’t answer.

“We’d have to have rules.” You blurt, and Ben makes a face.

“Rules? Never been too good with those, Sweetheart.”

“And I’d need you to promise that you wouldn’t-” 

You lose your train of thought in the wind chimes that rattle over your head and the sound of Butcher’s laugh.

“Wouldn’t?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Lose control.”

Honestly, sometimes you were a little afraid of Ben. You’d never say that out loud or admit it, but he was stronger than Homelander.

You knew Ben's reputation around the office- heard the hushed whispers of the women in the break room who said he was the best fuck of their lives, heard the horror stories of what he did to his old team, and had seen first hand what his temper was like. You also knew about his powers and worried that Ben might have a little bit of a control problem or at the very least anger management issues.

“I’m not going to fucking hurt you if that’s what you think.” Ben growls, his eyes narrowing at your insinuation. “I’m not some fucking monster, doll.”

“I don’t think you’re a monster Ben.” You sigh. “I just- I don’t have powers and you’re kinda strong and I-.” You take a deep breath to steady your voice. “I don’t think that you’d hurt me on purpose. But-”

Ben’s hand comes out to touch your chin, tilting your gaze up to him and stopping the bicycle of babbling you were about to ride around the block. Your eyes widen slightly with the contact, you weren’t used to people touching you, certainly not like this. 

Keep it together… 

“I wouldn’t hurt you by accident either.” Ben’s green eyes are focused on yours, and you can see just a sliver of emotion behind them that you can’t identify. “But if we’re going to do this you gotta promise me one thing.”

“What?” Your voice comes out like a squeak.

“You’ve got to promise not to fall in love with me.” He sends you a saucy wink that makes you want to punch the strongest man on earth, instead you settle for pushing him back from you.

But you’re not prepared for the wave of disappointment you feel when he lets go of your chin. 

“I’m not in any danger of that Benny. You’re not half as smooth as you think you are.” You start to lean back in your chair, but Ben reaches out to grab your wrist, his touch surprisingly gentle, the contact burning through your body, as he pulls you forward, so close you can smell his cologne. Somehow it's something that smells classic and modern at the same time, a hint of spice that tickles your nose and makes your throat tight. 

His voice lowers into a purr that vibrates through his chest, his next words expelled on a warm breath that weaves through the air between the two of you. 

“Sweetheart, you’re about to find out just how smooth I am.” 

What have I gotten myself into?

A/N: Again, not what I was expecting, but I really love this one y'all and I probably laughed way too hard at bits when I was writing it.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my taglist please let me know!

Taglist

@roseblue373 @livya99 @mrsjenniferwinchester @zepskies @waynes-multiverse

@jollyhunter

[muli-wam]

So Pretty

Summary: Takes place in Dr. Stone Season 2 episode 11 where Tsukasa is about to get put in the freezer by senku, but he wants to talk to you one last time.

Cw: use of y/n one time, angst, SPOILERS!! I think that's all

Pairings: Shishio Tsukasa x Fem!reader

A/n: um.... happy valentine's day 🤩🤩

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"...It's because Mario only thinks he's huge because he ate the mushroom," Senku laughs as he fiddles with tubes and cords connecting to the large freezer.

"He's tripping balls. Ten billion percent tripping," he says as his body tenses.

"Right?"

"Am I right?"

Silence.

"Am I right, Tsukasa?" Senku huffs with a tinge of hurt laced through his tone.

"Senku..." Tsukasa whispers from his resting place on the makeshift stretcher.

"Hm?" Senku hums with his back still facing Tsukasa.

"Can you... Can I talk to y/n? One last time?" Tsukasa mumbles hoarsly.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Let me go get her," Senku walks out the cave but doesnt make it far because you were lurking around the corner anyway.

You couldn't walk away. You couldn't just leave him there. You had hoped that things could turn out differently. That maybe Senku was able to find a solution to quickly re-petrify Tsukasa so then you guys can easily revive him again.

You knew it wouldn't be that easy. Not in this world, no.

Senku was smart, but there was a ten billion percent chance that he couldn't find a way to turn Tsukasa back to stone in under 4 days. Additionally, no one in your relatively small congregation of people was a surgeon or had remotely any medical experience.

So here you were, sitting on your knees beside Tsukasa as his body slowly but surely gives out.

"So..." you mutter, failing to keep eye contact with him.

"So," he croaks, giving you a weak smile.

"We've officially been dating for 1 week, 14 hours, 17 minutes and... 35 seconds," you say, sounding defeated.

"Heh, you've been counting, pretty girl?" He let's out a faint laugh, not too hard as it physically pains him to let out anymore than that.

A tear falls down you cheek and lands onto the hard stone floor of the cold cave.

"C'mere," Tsukasa says, signaling you with his finger to lay next to him. You slot yourself in an open space next to him, laying on your side.

Tsukasa turns his head so it faces you. "You're so pretty," he smiles softly.

You eyes water even more at the sight of his drooping eyes and dark circles. You bring a hand up to gently cup his face and rest your forehead on his.

"Wish I told you sooner," you cry softly.

His features soften as he watches tears stream down your face.

"It was unavoidable," he whispers.

"But if I told you earlier then maybe we wouldn't be here. You would have never left and we could have all stayed together," you huff.

"You, me, Senku, Taiju and Yuzuriha. Us against the world," you search Tsukasa's eyes for something, half expecting him to jump up and say it was all some prank and he's actually okay. He doesn't.

You told Tsukasa you had feelings for him after the cease fire of the Stone Wars. You had known him before the entire world got turned to stone. He was your best friend and you stuck by him the entire time since his sister was in a coma.

You think you fell for him freshman year of high school but it could have been sooner. All you know is that you fell in love with Shishio Tsukasa and you dont think you could ever stop loving him.

"I know... but the time we did have together was great, no? And I trust..." Tsukasa starts, but pauses to take a breath.

"I trust that Senku will figure out what caused all this, and then I can be with you again." He says.

"I love you," you cry harder.

"I love you too, angel," he kisses your forehead.

"Dont loose yourself because of me, okay? Keep being the smart, amazing girl I've always known." He says.

"Promise?" Tsukasa asks.

"I promise."

You stroke his cheek softly as you bring your head closer to ever so gently kiss him. It was so passionate yet so soft and your head felt like it was floating as your conscience fades away from the world around you, only seeming to focus on him.

When you kissed him for the first time, it felt like romantic picnics in an open meadow. Like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a warm spring afternoon as you sit in the grass and watch the clouds pass by.

It felt like coffee shop dates and evening strolls in the park as you held hands and talked about anything and everything. It felt like life was finally just beginning.

It didn't feel like that now.

It feel like your suffocating but taking a breath of fresh air all at once. It felt like the walls were closing in and you were sinking deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of your brain.

You hated goodbyes.

You both finally parted, staring deeply into each others eyes.

"M'so tired," Tsukasa whispered.

"Just let it happen," you smile brokenly.

"M'gonna be right here when you wake up, okay?" You say as your body wracks in shivers.

"Y'so pretty," he whispers once again while smiling. Your heart seems to shatter all over again.

You watch his eyes slowly close, his puples slowly being shadowed by his eyelids.

"So, so pretty," He mumbles one last time before his eyes finally shut, and you feel his once slow but steady pulse come to a stop.

You lay there for a moment, staring at his lifeless face and internally beating yourself up for his death even though you know it wasn't your fault. He and Senku had a mutual agreement on this. And those two, as stubborn as they are, always keep their promises.

And now its your turn to keep yours.

You hear footsteps approach behind you before a voice says, "y'ready?"

You lay there for a few more beats before slowly sitting up, and bringing Tsukasa's arms to cross over his chest.

"I'm ready."

[ezrasxfics]

*sashays in* salutations again. your fics are like cocaine for me. i apologize :3

ANNNNYWAYS i’m obsessed with the idea of gangle having daddy issues and kinger being her very unpredictable but genuinely sweet father figure with untapped infinite angst potential. not sure if you get the memo here, but maybe something bittersweet or leaning towards the fluffy side with that idea? thanks for all the fics you’ve written for this community so far!! :D

..i guess i wish i had you around growing up.

-

gangle + kinger platonic hurt/comfort (ish??)

-

kinger pov

(tw: implied/suggested abuse)

i’m sat in my pillow fort - in the dark, comfortable. thinking deeply. these past few days have been a lot, with pomni’s arrival and everything, so it’s nice to take some time away from everything, in the most comfortable place in the circus. now that i think about it, i’ve been doing this a lot more lately.

suddenly, a little bit of light comes through the fort, making me flinch as a small figure crawled in. gangle. despite having her happier mask on, she looks pretty distressed. normally, she’d talk to zooble, but i’m happy to be here for her if she chooses me this time - i’d never want her feeling upset, and i’d be happy if she feels comfortable enough to talk to me.

”..hey, kinger..? are you busy..?” she stammers, voice trembling as she sits by me. i take a few second before replying.

“i’m free - why? do you need something?”

“..i just wanna sit in here for a bit.. if that’s okay..?” her voice was barely audible, almost as if she wanted to say something, but was holding it back in fear of embarrassment. but, i don’t want to force anything out of her. so, instead, i put a hand on her shoulder. an invitation to talk if she needs to. her shoulders drop almost immediately, and she removes her comedy mask. “…it’s not working..” she mumbles, not looking at me directly. “i’ve felt bad all morning, even though my mask’s fine.. i don’t know what’s wrong with me- i mean, something has to have gone wrong, it normally works fine, so i’m clearly the issue- it’s me, it’s always me, and i hate that about me- i always mess up somehow- it’s my fault-!”

noticing that she’s spiralling, i put a hand up, signalling for her to pause, and take a breath, and to listen to me: “why would it be your fault? it’s just your feelings - they’re not a problem. it’s how you handle them that matters. have you been bottling stuff up? that can make things like this happen,” as i say this, she wordlessly nods, staring at the floor. almost ashamed. “it’s okay to be upset, gangle. it’s what makes you human. sometimes, you just need to relearn how to cope with your feelings, instead of just pushing them down and hoping they go away. i know that a few people here are guilty of that. it’s completely normal. you just don’t want to feel bad, but sometimes you have to let yourself feel bad, in order to be okay again. does that make sense?”

she nods again, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down before speaking up, just a few words that considerably shocked me. “i wish i had a dad like you around growing up.”

“what do you mean?” i question, edging a little closer, uncertain if she meant what i think.

“i just.. you’re so nice. and understanding. my dad..? he was none of those things. he wanted a daughter who fit into his standards of the ‘perfect daughter’. it.. i hated living with him.” she finally admitted, a small sob escaping her. “i hated living like that— like i was wearing a mask all the time— but even when i left him, the mask never left me. i needed it to feel safe, because taking it off meant that—“ she cut herself off.

sensing she didn’t want to elaborate, i say only one more thing.

“take as long as you need for it to come off. i know it’s scary, but we’ll all love you either way.”

-

thanks for the request!!!! and please don’t snort my fics, that doesn’t sound very healthy/j

reblogs appreciated!!