#I wish there was a SoundCloud for all to see but only found the Spotify

[phantomram-b00]

Oh my I finished this! Hope you guys like it it sorry if it toke so long been busy ^v^

(For those who don’t know, this is suppose to be a drawing that was suppose to be made for the one year anniversary of Wendell and Wild, so I drew Kat since I love this character I drew her! And if you haven’t seen Wendell and Wild I highly recommend! With that imma head to bed.)

[the-uninformed-zennial]

So, uh, Fable ended.

And now I’m gonna be sappy on main.

I started watching Fable about half a year before I started being active in the fandom, around the time I started falling in love with my partner @hoardingpuffin . Watching Rae and Caspian’s relationship develop was actually part of what helped me realize that the things I was feeling for them were romantic and not just platonic. Surprisingly enough, that’s just the beginning of the profound effect Fable had on me.

I had never really interacted with fandom spaces before Fable. But when I caught up with lore sometime in November 2022, I decided to join the discord. It was a crazy place. Being someone who’d never really been in a server before I was completely overwhelmed and nervous, so I didn’t interact much for the first month or so.

Then I discovered that, despite the incredible love for the project, no one had made a “which character are you?” Quiz yet, so, I decided to fuck it and make one myself. The response I got to that was unlike any I had seen before. I was getting pinged weeks afterwards with people’s results and it made me really happy to see how much my work was appreciated by everyone in the community. It got me thinking about other ways I might be able to give back.

Then, as you all know, the stream “Call” and it’s partner “Response” came out on Ghosty and HeyHay’s channels. I’d been feeling so similarly to the two characters, dealing with my long distance relationship with Puffin. So, I took those feelings and the words Heyhay and Ghosty had used to convey them for their characters and put them into a song.

And then something insane happened.

Everyone liked it. Like, everyone liked it. This crappy recording I made at 2 AM suddenly got hundreds and then thousands of views when I put it on SoundCloud and YouTube. It was insane. I had written some songs before, but they’d always been ridiculed, so having a large group of people like the fable community enjoy something that I wrote was absolutely insane to me, and it encouraged me to make more.

I found myself being inspired by the characters in fable, connecting with different storylines or sentences said on streams. I found myself writing songs, one after another after another.  At one point I was writing a song a week for a period of about three months. I had never experienced this amount of raw creativity before, but every time I put a new song out, I only got encouraged to make more.

And then people started to ask me when I was going to put them on Spotify. And that was another moment that everything changed. I realized if I was gonna put these out there in such an official way I didn’t want it to just be a bunch of crappy recorded singles. So I needed to make an album.

That was something I had never considered doing before. I knew nothing about music editing or sound mixing. Up until that point all of my songs had been made on GarageBand at 2 AM with very little editing or mixing going into them. So, I started saving for a real music editing program and within a few months I got there.

Then came the actual making of the album. I took a few months off in the summer and just dove headfirst into it. Every spare moment I wasn’t modding for the Sherbathon, or the discord, or streaming my own lore, was spent working on those songs. And while looking back now I wish I knew what I know now about music editing, I’m so glad I did what I did. Putting that album out, seeing how you all responded to it… it made me realize that this is something I love, something that I don’t have to wait for someone else’s permission or teaching to do.

This fandom is the reason I’m a musical artist and that is something I don’t think I will ever be able to express the importance of enough.



As much as I could talk about the unending support and encouragement I received from the wonderful cast members throughout my experience making the album, or how being given the role of mod on the fandom discord taught me so much about how to be a creator in my own right, or even the amazing experience I had being able to make songs for the lore. When it comes right down to it, it was the community, cast and all, that impacted my life in the profound way it has been. So thank you, each and every one of you, whether you are a cast member, a fan, a fellow mod, or even just someone who streamed a song you didn’t have any context for. Thank you for changing my life, for giving me the encouragement to pursue my dreams.

Thank you Fable SMP cast, crew, and community 💕

[morganisboringg]

Omegle friendship story ;-;

Stranger: m

You: hiya

You: f

Stranger: bonjour

You: hola

Stranger: im 18 bitchh

You: im 14 hoeee

Stranger: shidddd

Stranger: 😂😂

You: yeah im a childdd

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but im not a creepy guy so ur good 👌🏼

Stranger: hahaha

You: yeah ie had a 20 year old try to keep talking with me

You: and a 17 yr old ask if i have a nice ass XD ive delt with creepy guys XD

Stranger: hahaha dudes are horny

Stranger: used to be like that too but i realized its wrong

Stranger: so yeah just vibing rn

Stranger: 😤😤😤

You: yeah they are, i be vibin too im watching sky high B)

Stranger: lol

Stranger: im watching rick&morty

Stranger: im the ultimate virgin

You: lmaoooooo , i mean u have to also like game theory and film theory for that but ur close XD

Stranger: never heard of that

Stranger: 😂

You: theyre nerdy yt channels, they make theorys on games and films and shows and stuff

You: they have a bunch on rick and morty

Stranger: oh

Stranger: i watch some of those

Stranger: 😤😂

Stranger: im an ‘adult’ child

You: yeah i do too, i literally have their merch

Stranger: hahahaha

You: oh i hope to be an adult child bc gRosS adults

Stranger: yeah i dont wanna be an adult

You: me either, adults get stares when they only dress in hot topic clothes why would i want that

Stranger: hahahah yeah

Stranger: thats the reason i dont have a gf

Stranger: bc im too childish

You: well then u just havent found the right childish girl

Stranger: that is a fact

You: might i reccomend the single rider lines at like amusement parks XD

Stranger: hahaha why

You: ive seen plenty of dudes shoot there shot there bc the girls are by themselves then they get to ride a rollercoaster together

Stranger: hahah yeah thats fun

Stranger: maybe i wikk

Stranger: :)

You: yeah XD then if it works out a cute date at an amusement park!

Stranger: hahah yeah

Stranger: do u have a amusement park obsession

Stranger: lmaoo

You: uh- thats uniMPORTANTTT

Stranger: hahahhah

You: theres food and adreniline whats not to love!

Stranger: i love them too

Stranger: i once forced my cousin to ride the same coaster 12 times in a row

You: ive ridden king da ka the tallest rollercoaster in the world XD

Stranger: he puked after

You: lmaoooo sounds like smth id do

Stranger: hahaha

You: but then id just say again and go again XD

Stranger: hahahah same

Stranger: adter he threw up i went alone

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: dude i need some advice

You: sure

Stranger: my friends sister (shes 15) has a crush on me

Stranger: what do i do

You: oh shit uh- tell her shes too young

You: or like take her on a cute date but say its a friends date

You: thats a nice way to friend zone sm1

Stranger: yeah true

Stranger: its kinda weird

Stranger: my friend says he doesnt mind

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: but still wekrd

Stranger: weird

You: well thats uh getting to chris hansen levels so gotta shoot her down lmao

Stranger: yeah hahaha

You: but like yk when like a little sisters older siblings s/o would take them on a "date" to show them how to be treated u could do that- idk

Stranger: yeah idkk

Stranger: we shall see

You: we shall broski, just uh dont do anything that chris hansen would ask u to sit down with him over XD

Stranger: hahahah

Stranger: i have no idea who that is

Stranger: oh i looked it up

You: yeah XD

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: yeah like it is weird but not the age difference

Stranger: 3 years is not a lot

You: oh abt the friends sibling thing? XD

Stranger: ya

You: ik 3 years isnt alot in like the grand scheme of stuff but NOW 3 years is the difference between 6th graders and freshman and thats really weird

Stranger: yeah true true

You: and abt them being a friends sibling, um dont pull a kissing booth and be all dating behind everyones back- that movie was weird in general smh

Stranger: hahah

Stranger: yeah i wont

Stranger: his mom told me i would be a good son in law

You: LMAO too soon??

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: yeah right ilnow

You: 1) u arent even dating and 2) u think its weird

You: that would creep me tf out

Stranger: yeah but i dont really care

Stranger: i take it as a compliment

Stranger: it means im nice

You: yeah, im just a generally akward perso so XD

Stranger: hahahaha

You: but like uh if u dont wanna date a friends sibling dont, in most movies thats like number one best friend code no dating sibkings

Stranger: yeah i dont really care if my friend doesnt mins

Stranger: but i dont like her

Stranger: i like someone else

Stranger: and she doesnt like me back

Stranger: 🙃🙂

You: oh cool, aw that suckss u seem really chill and have a good personality so idk whats not to like thats prob my pansexual talking tho XD

Stranger: hahha

Stranger: ur attracted to pans?

Stranger: thanks lmao yeah idk

You: no i came out of the pantry smh

Stranger: 🤯🤯🤯🤯

You: common misconseption XD

Stranger: yeah shes my girl best friend

Stranger: so thats why she doesnt like me

Stranger: but maybe some daaaaaayv

You: oooo thats a hard place to get out of the f r i e n d z o n e

Stranger: ivee been tryyiiiiiiiing

Stranger: to make u love meeee

Stranger: but everything i try

You: *blasts u belong with me by taylor swift on a boombox* now go stand outside her window

Stranger: just takes you further from me

You: XD

Stranger: ghost town by kanye west is such a good song

You: oh i dont think ive listened to it lmao too much emo music and musicals

Stranger: you like kid cudi

You: who..? ugh i feel stupid not knowing stuff

Stranger: ur too young

Stranger: hes a legend

Stranger: makes good music u should listen to him

Stranger: kind of drug/depresion related

You: oh okay, that sounds like smth id listen too XD

Stranger: listen to love. by him on youtube or soundcloud

Stranger: it isnt on spotify

You: oh okay, i use amazon music like a loser XD

Stranger: oh

Stranger: yeah its only on yt or soundcloud lmao

Stranger: hahah doesnt matter right

You: yeah lmao

You: u wanna be friends? its ok to say no cause im 14 XD

You: im morgan btw whats ur name?

Stranger: hahaha aw thats a nice thing to ask

Stranger: but i just came on here to twlk to random people :( sorry

You: im not good at the whole "making friends" thing so idk what to do but ask lmao

Stranger: my name is julian

You: oh okay

Stranger: im sure u will make friends some day

You: OMG ofc its julian- i meet guys with m names or julius/julians never anything else

Stranger: hahaha what do y mean

You: i mean in the past week ive met a mike, mikey, and a mick then ive met like 4 julius' and 2 julians

Stranger: ahhaha wow

Stranger: thats funny

You: i swear idk what is up but smth is

You: my fbi agent is on smth ig

Stranger: hahahhahaha

Stranger: tryna set u up

You: yeah they want either an m&m or m j XD just m&ms or michael jackson IDFK XD

Stranger: haahahah

Stranger: so when did u find out u were pan sexual

You: uh when i was 11 i thinkk

Stranger: wow

Stranger: when i was 11 i was eating boogers out of my nose

You: yeah i knew i wasnt straight since like pre school girls are just too cute lmao

You: lmao thanks for sharing

Stranger: that is a facr

Stranger: women are cute

You: yeah they are XD

Stranger: hahaha

You: ummm idk what to talk abt now lol

Stranger: yeah me too lol

You: uh do u like heathers? like the movie or the musical

Stranger: never heard of it

You: REALLY??

You: my friends saying to skip u smh but i wouldnt dare

Stranger: what do u mean hahah

You: heathers is like a cult classic 80s movie like breakfast club or 16 candles or the outsiders

Stranger: ohh ok hahah

Stranger: i dont watch a lit of old movies

You: u know what those are right? especially the outsiders?

Stranger: only fiction

Stranger: never heard of them

You: U HAVENT???

You: OMG I SWEARR IF I KNEW U IRL ID LIKE FORCE U TO WATCH IT ITS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD MMMMMMm

Stranger: whats sliced bread

Stranger: 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: i swear i dont watch movies

You: like a loaf of bread XD its an expression

Stranger: oh lolllll

You: but like look up dallas winston MMMMM I LOVE THAT MAN

Stranger: hahah ok

Stranger: this was a fun talk dude hahah

Stranger: i ahve to go eat rn

You: okay byee nice talk too bad we cant be friends i wish u luck <3

Stranger: were kind of stranger friends

Stranger: so count me as a friend

Stranger: :S

You: okay too bad after this we'll never talk again

You: S?

Stranger: idk lmao

Stranger: yeah but thats life

Stranger: byeee 😘

You: yeah it is byeeee

Stranger has disconnected.

[taste-in-music]

Music Monday (7-22-19)

New Releases

Champion by Bishop Briggs: A new Bishop Briggs single! It’s her signature brand of badass alternative pop, with fiery vocals and empowering lyrics. While it’s pretty good, it’s also slightly generic. It doesn’t have the lyrical specificity that let last year’s “Baby” shine, or the fascinating instrumentation on “River” that did such a good job of setting Briggs apart from her peers. Despite that, it’s still keeping my interest going for whatever project she’s planning on releasing next, and the music video implies some kind of continuous story in her visuals, which is really exciting. (The video is badass, BTW.)

Gone by Charli XCX ft. Christine and the Queens: I’m so unbelievably hyped for Charli I can’t even put it into words. This song is catchy as fuck, the production is studded with dark synths and snappy percussion, and Charli XCX and Christine and the Queens have great vocal chemistry. I’m not the biggest fan of the electronic vocal-fragment breakdown at the end, I feel like it kind of slows the momentum of the song rather than building to a climax like I think it’s trying to, but that doesn’t detract from how great the rest of it is. 

I Wish by Hayley Kiyoko: Hayley Kiyoko’s sound is getting darker, and I’m here for it. This new cut from her almost reminds me of Zolita due to it’s more sarcastic leaning lyrics and witchy accompanying visuals. The production on Kiyoko’s vocals in the chorus is an interesting choice, giving them this glassy, hazy feel, which fits the heartbroken, almost bitter tone of the lyrics. I’m so excited so see what she drops next, and if she’ll keep going in this direction, because I think that it could result in some really interesting tunes. 

Looking at Me by Sabrina Carpenter: Singular Act II dropped this past Friday! While I don’t think it’s quite as good as Act I, there are still some pop bangers to be found, and this song is an example of that, it really is a stunner of a closer to the album. The Latin influence in the beat and prominent horns make the song really danceable, and Sabrina’s self-assured performance delivers the confident lyrics with panache. 

Why Do You Love Me by Charlotte Lawrence: “Seventeen” was one of my favorite songs that I listened to last Summer, so I’ve been eagerly awaiting Charlotte Lawrence’s next release to see if it would be another Summer-defining bop. In short, this song sounds like what would happen if you melded “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish and “Happy Together” by The Turtles together. It’s got a nice, jaunty beat and tense atmosphere, thought it could use something more, whether that be darker bass or some more experimental production. If Charlotte Lawrence decides to go for this sound in the future, I hope that she plunges even deeper into the dark. 

Saddest Generation by IDER: The new IDER album Emotional Education is here and it’s really good! Their sound is so hypnotizing, studded with stunning vocal harmonies that blow me away with each listen. This track is one of the more down-tempo cuts off the album. The lyrical themes of a downtrodden youth give me Pure Heroine throwbacks, but the instrumental is more layered and warm, including a nice guitar solo near the end. 

i’ll die anyway. by girl in red: I consider this the unofficial follow up to another girl in red song, “summer depression” off of last year’s chapter 1 EP. This is drenched in girl in red’s classic sound, with the washed-out vocal production and a dusky layer of low-fi over a solid, grounded indie-rock instrumental. With all of these new singles, perhaps there’s an album on the way? One can hope. 

Palm Springs by Ariel Beesley: It’s finally on Spotify! I don’t have to flip flop back and forth from SoundCloud anymore! I am so in love with Ariel Beesley’s retro sound and rich vocals. The chrous on this song is accentuated with shimmering synths, electric guitars, and a swoom-worthy vocal melody that’ll get stuck in your head. 

Other Favorites

Drive by Oh Wonder: God is this song charming. Not only is is super chill, it’s also super sweet. The triumphant strings, hushing vocals, and pensive lyrics instantly put me at peace. 

Love Me Tender by No Frills Twins: The title calls back to Elvis? The opening bass line reminds me so much of Tame Impala? And yet this song is drenched in bubblegum bass EDM, it sounds like a track MARINA would’ve made in a forgotten era between The Family Jewels and Electra Heart. I fucking love it, this song is a banger and a half. MARINA, Allie X, and Charli XCX fans should give this track a listen for sure. No Frills Twins haven’t released anything since 2017, but I pray that they drop new music eventually, because they have some amazing songs. 

Check out last week’s Music Monday and also be sure to look at my personal Spotify playlist and Summer 2019 playlist for more new releases and other great songs.

[brittanyinterviews]

Kristin Dominguez, Artist and Musician

Kristin Dominguez, Artist and Musician

---

This interview was conducted via email in April 2020.

---

Brittany: Can you tell me a bit about yourself?

Kristin: This feels like it should be the easiest question to answer, but it definitely isn't. Starting off on a very simple and earthly foot, I'm from the Bay Area. I grew up in an extremely nurturing environment filled with music, creature comforts, and varying levels of structure. My dad is from Mexico City, so I've had the integral influence of Hispanic culture throughout my life, which is such a blessing. I graduated high school, but am still completing college as an adult, and I have always been connected to the arts. I have always been perceived as scattered and free-spirited. There is some truth to this, but I also feel very grounded in who I am. It never used to be this way -- thank goodness it is this way now. 

Brittany: Have you always been interested in art and music? Can you describe your first art or music memory? 

Kristin: I think that almost every child is interested in art and music -- then again this may just be my perception. My first memories regarding my own forms of expression are linked to sound. My mother has recounted my running around the house singing opera for her when I was a 3-year-old. I liked the experience of feeling my vocal cords vibrate and the breath that was involved. I had always loved singing, but I became more and more private with it as I grew older. I sang with and to the people that I felt close with, to myself in the car or in the shower… It was quite recently that I began to write, record, and perform my own music. 

A painting from Kristin’s Instagram

Painting was / is always enjoyable. The daycare I grew up in was very "hippy"-esque. I was partly raised by a beautiful person named Annie, an artist / love child of the ‘60s who used to sing-talk her way around the daycare with a guitar. She always had paint for us to play with. 

My interest in the arts was always something that held its permanence. It stuck with me always, and I found this reassuring, although it took me a very long time to identify as an artist. 

Another piece from her Instagram

Brittany: Your painting style seems very distinct. Can you describe the process of making a new piece?

Kristin: Music is always playing in the background. This moves a lot of what I do and what comes out on the canvas / paper while I'm creating, so I am very meticulous with my playlists on Spotify.

I’m sort of OCD with how my space is set before I get into painting mode, but that space gets very discombobulated and deconstructed by the end of one of my "flow sessions." 

I get very lost in what I'm doing after that first "ripple effect" is initiated. There is a suspended sense of self while you are watching the colors dance across the page. You are the guiding force -- but once the color is on the page, there is no going back, only forward. The real difficulty with abstract art is there are no guidelines. A lot of the time you create things that you're not that crazy about because you either pushed it too far or didn't give it enough care. There is intention in the abstract process if you bring your awareness to it. 

My process was sporadic in its early stages -- painting only when I had the urge to -- but now I am implementing a stricter structure with my creative process. Ritual and practice are so important for growth and pieces that you feel proud of. 

Another piece from her Instagram

Brittany: The way the paint splatters across the surface or how you use water to move the paint around in your pieces can elicit a very emotional response in the viewer. Is creating new work an emotional process for you? Is it more intuitive?

Kristin: Haha, I showed a family friend a few of my earlier works with acrylic ink and alcohol as a medium and he responded with "I am having a visceral response to these… They are terrifying." I couldn't help but laugh. 

I think that it is an intuitive act, but there is emotion as well. The color "flow sessions" put me into a flow state, in which I am beside myself and completely immersed in the work. Although I am "out of my own way" at this point in the creative process the emotions still work their way out, but everything is transmuted onto the page. Working with water is an incredibly emotional experience because it is unpredictable. You are flowing with it and guiding it at the same time. Only one thing is certain and that's how the work will mutate and change as you influence it. 

Brittany: How would you describe your music and/or musical style? 

Kristin: Soft. Slow. Vulnerable. Warm. A little haunting at times (so I have heard 😂).

Brittany: There are a lot of beautiful covers of popular songs on your Soundcloud. How do you pick which artists or songs to cover?

Kristin: Primarily I choose songs that I identify with. Songs that make me feel something deep and spiritually tangible. I also choose songs that I wish I could have written. Covering them feels like giving that artist and piece new shades of glory. Like looking at the same view but through new lenses. 

I love the classics and anything that brings me that feeling of nostalgia. But mostly I like finding songs that fit me. Like trying on a pair of leggings. Some fit with my voice and tempo, others don't. Others I can squeeze into and others I can't even get up my thigh. It depends. 

Brittany: Who are you influenced by in the worlds of art and music?

Kristin: This is always a hard question because there are so many talented people that influence what I produce, but at the same time I feel my style to be very much my own.

I feel my influencers mostly to be the singer-songwriters of the indie and folk persuasions. By no means am I placing myself in parallel, but to name a handful of talented individuals: 

Elliott Smith

John K. Samson of The Weakerthans

Andy Hull of Manchester Orchestra

Kina Grannis 

Joni Mitchell 

Feist

Daughter

Paul Simon 

Side and ending note: It is such a profound task to strike a nerve, pluck a heart string, or paint a picture for the listener. I am a hopeless romantic, therefore any artist (which is almost all of them) that romanticizes the human experience is an influence, because I identify with them. A good artist makes you feel seen, heard, and understood, without even meeting them. 

Brittany: When you're not creating art or music, how do you spend your time?

Kristin: Normal human-y things. Eating, sleeping, nature walking, spending time with loved ones. Coffee shop dwelling, journaling, reading, doing yoga. New developments: I am trying my hand at knitting, keeping spaces organized, and when the world calms down, I would like to face one of my fears and go swimming in the ocean. 

Brittany: What can we look forward to seeing from you in the future?

Kristin: I am working on my debut album, Settle In.

It has been a long process, but I am a bit of a perfectionist so I am still dealing with that aspect of myself, haha! But I feel like it should be ready by 2021. I am already writing and working on new material for the second album, but I figured I shouldn't get ahead of myself just yet and finish what I started with Settle In.

Upcoming work with Sage and Rock includes working on getting prints of my original works made so that they are a little more accessible. Stickers and possibly shirts, maybe hoodies. Also getting work and plans together to start a stationery line, create an art calendar that includes the lunar cycles and transits, and I would love to move my work to a larger scale.

--- 

Photo provided by Kristin Dominguez. Images of her paintings taken from her Instagram.

---

Special thanks to Kristin for discussing her work with us. You can follow her art on Instagram and music on Soundcloud.

[fcrvcnts-archive]

( kennedy walsh. twenty. cisfemale. she/her. ) ❛ jessica o’niell, a cancer from camden, maine, moved into holloway one year ago. they are a college student & aspiring singer that lives in apartment 4b and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be -self-doubting and -impetuous but others say they’re +warm-hearted and +effulgent. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear i don’t exist by olivia o’brien, it’s jess blasting it. 

it’s me again. back at it with another child!!! but if you’re reading this intro before luciano’s...i’m bronny, i’m 22, i’m from new zealand and all you really need to know is that i love my children luciano & jess.

i can’t say jess’s intro is as great as luciano’s but that’s mostly because she’s a newer oc and there’s really just a jumble of ideas about her background floating around in my head. but again, i’ll stop rambling and get on with the intro!!!

JESSICA O’NIELL

jessica o’niell wasn’t exactly planned, you see—she was a product of a romance during the summer after both had graduated high school. but no matter what, jess’s mother adored the little girl from the moment she entered into this world and for the first few years of her life, so did her father.

jess’ mother never fully explained what had happened, but all jess knew was that when she was 2, her father never came home one day. he was there one day and the next gone. birthday cards, weekly money and the photos of him with her when she was young was the only thing she had left of him.

throughout her childhood, her father’s absence wasn’t that big of a deal. jess had her mother and that’s all she really needed—all she really knew or remembered. she may be her mother but she was also her best friend, she really doesn’t know where she would be without her.

BUT!! even though she knows her mum loves her and she loves her mother more than anything, their relationship is a little more complicated. there have been times in her life where her mother has felt more like a big sister rather than a mother to her. maybe it’s the fact her mother’s only 38 ( if i did the maths correctly that is ) that plays a big part in it. not to mention it’s not a rare thing for jess to feel as if her mother puts her many and frequent boyfriends before her.

it wasn’t until jess was around 15 that she really started asking questions about her father—and to this day, she wished she’d just taken her mother’s advice and left it. but her being her curious and impulsive self, she needed to know. because what she found was something no one should have to face. finding out that your father has a new loving, happy family well underway while he left you behind? she couldn’t believe it. it broke her heart and a part of herself.

since that day, she’s never felt good enough—for anything.

on the outside, the girl is a ray of sunshine and only wants the best in the world for everyone. but buried deep down is a girl with deep trust issues & the horrible feeling of not being good enough. if her own father couldn’t love her? well….she felt as if there was something wrong with her? 

it even transferred into a part of her life that meant the world to her—music.

music had been her one true passion for as long as she could remember. her fondest memory is when her grandmother brought her a piano for her 12th birthday. it was all she’d ever wanted to do in life—it was a big dream, sure, but her mother and grandparents always encouraged her and she once believed it was possible. but after finding out about her father, her self-belief faltered.

she put herself in the background of a lot of things and hardly let anyone hear her play one of the many instruments she’d learnt how to play. but she especially didn’t let anyone hear her sing.

it wasn’t until her acceptance letter into juilliard came through that pushed her into opening up a bit more. she hadn’t thought she would be accepted. she had convinced herself that she wouldn’t. so the acceptance letter was the first step in the direction of her starting to believe that she really did have some talent.

moving away from her mother was one of the hardest things she’d done in her life but it was also one of the best things she’s ever done.

she started off in the juilliard dorms but eventually moved out a year ago and into holloways. there’s definitley still some underlying problems left over from her father but she’s quite positive in where she is at the moment. not to mention, she’s even gotten a few little gigs at bars & clubs singing and they haven’t been a complete disaster. she’s really just taking life one step at a time and trying to focus on the good things in her life. 

jess is well and truly attempting the faking it until she makes it!!!

EXTRAS

her pinterest board can be found here!!!

her voice claim is olivia o’brien :’)

she has 1 cat ( a little rescue tabby ) called kovu and she ADORES him

she taught said cat to be on a harness.

would literally be happy to go and live in a cabin in the woods. she loves the outdoors, nature & going on road trips ( bringing kovu along - hence the need to teach him to be on a lead ).

probably currently obsessed with our planet on netflix, definitley the one that gets up when things go wrong for the animals.

thanks to friends made at juilliard, jess has managed to record a few of her songs and is currently one of the artists trialing the ‘upload beta/spotify for artists’ on spotify though her limited officially released songs have previously been available on soundcloud. but since she’s not signed to any record label, she tends to stick to the live shows she manages to score at bars & the like around new york. the majority of her songs aren’t actually released but they can be found on youtube via live show hq recordings by her/friends she roped in & not as hq ones by her fans.

has had thoughts about dropping out of school to really give her all into singing but she’s just uhh terrified of not succeeding!!

if anyone would like to plot a little something, my ims are always open, i’m also up for plotting via discord, and i’d love to plot a little something!! i swear i don’t bite so please send me an im if you’re up for something, but honestly if you give this a like i’ll come to you!!

but if you are interested in plotting, i have a plots page with loose ideas here!!

[swagmaster-camilla]

All the odd numbers for the unusual asks!

its a long boi

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?SoundCloud out of these but I usually use apple music

3. what color are your eyes?Grey??? Blue/green??? idk 

5. what is your relationship status?single praise the lord i just got out of a long term relo that was getting toxic af

7. what color hair do you have?its blonde but naturally brown

9. where do you shop?mainly op shops, asos and factorie :-)

11. favorite social media account?big instagram energy13. any siblings?nope, only child15. favorite snapchat filter?THE MAN ONE17. how many times a week do you shower?at least 14, i am germaphobic and emetophobic and its flu season lolol 

19. shoe size?821. sandals or sneakers?sneakers, i have an unhealthy obsession

23. describe your dream datelook i love a good tinder kum & go25. what color socks are you wearing?white with neon nike ticks 

27. do you have a job? what do you do?umm i study physiotherapy full time but i help mum out at work sometimes so assistant funeral director i guess29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?thinking student debt would be a fun idea

31. 3 favorite boy namesbig j energy, love me fuckboys 33. favorite actor?matt damon LOL i named my cat after him

35. who is your celebrity crush?matt damon,,,

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?i literally hate reading so much 39. do you have a nickname? what is it?umm most people call me G or GG

41. top 10 favorite songshyperreal - flumedancing in the moonlight - toploaderocean drive - duke dumontworking for it - skrillex x zhu x theychicken soup - skrillex & habstractcore - rl grimeguillotine - golden featuresdank fantasy - kanye westsculpted - tobiahsraf - asap mob

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)used to be dry as fuck bc roaccutane but now its kinda normal!45. how many kids do you want?big fat 047. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)at home and uni, i both have little 1 bed apartments49. what was the last compliment you received?genuinely can’t remember babes 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?probably like 4-5?? i had mean older cousins lol 

53. opinion on smoking?i smoke but i wish i didn’t, please don’t ever start..55. what is your dream job?exercise physiologist! 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?bitch yes im poor59. do you smile for pictures?sometimes i guess, i’m really self conscious about my teeth though61. have you ever peed in the woods?no wtf63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?wouldn’t know, i can’t eat gluten65. what do you wear to bed?pyjamas????67. what are your hobbies?bro i’m literally on simblr HAHHAHAHA69. do you play an instrument?piano!

71. tea or coffee?look, if i don’t have an almond milk latte in my hand i’m probably dead

73. do you want to get married?i like the idea of marriage, but i honestly don’t see myself getting to that level with anyone. i like being on my own

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?i wouldn’t no, men don’t own me and my last name is rare

77. do you miss anyone right now?nah79. do you believe in ghosts?if i did, work at the funeral home would be a problem hahah so no81. last person you called?one of my mates

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?again, cant eat gluten so don’t know sorry haha85. what shirt are you wearing?it’s just a striped t shirt haha87. are you outgoing or shy?a bit of both??? depends if im drunk hahaha89. do you like your neighbors?BIG NO!!!!! THEY LISTEN TO COUNTRY MUSIC BASS BOOSTED ALL FUCKJING NIGHT EVERY NIGHT I WANT TO SLEEEP SO BAD91. have you ever been high?i refuse to answer this its illegal lmao

93. last thing you ate?i made taco meat and just ate it from the pan lmao

95. summer or winter?winter omfg i HATE australian summers so much

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?dark, i’m lactose intolerant

99. what is your zodiac sign Taurus! 

[kanaayas]

All the dumb details about ya boi

1.Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? SoundCloud. 2.is your room messy or clean? Messy. 3.what color are your eyes? Blue/green 4.do you like your name? why? Well, I use an alias online because of personal reasons but it’s an interesting name I guess.. 5.what is your relationship status? Single!!! (hmu guys) 6.describe your personality in 3 words or less Loud, annoying, stupid. 7.what color hair do you have? Brown. 8.what kind of car do you drive? color? Can’t drive yet, too young 9.where do you shop? Sephora, Ulta,Hollister, Kohl’s, American Eagle, Vans (basically any basic teenager store) 10.how would you describe your style? Casual. 11.favorite social media account? Tumblr is my only social media 😉 12.what size bed do you have? Queen 13.any siblings? Yes, two going on three. (Two younger sisters and expecting a brother soon) 14.if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? NYC, Broadway!! 15.favorite snapchat filter? Dog. 16.favorite makeup brand(s) Tarte, Morphe, Clinique 17.how many times a week do you shower? 7. 18.favorite tv show? Either FRIENDS or The Office. 19.shoe size? 7.5 (woman’s) 20.how tall are you? 5’3” 21.sandals or sneakers? Sneakers 22.do you go to the gym? Wish I did. 23.describe your dream date Just someone asking me out and keeping me as a partner would be nice. 24.how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $151 and a ton of miscellaneous gift cards. 25.what color socks are you wearing? Black. 26.how many pillows do you sleep with? 2. (a memory foam pillow and an Andrew Rannells throw) 27.do you have a job? what do you do? No, I have school. 28.how many friends do you have? A lot. 29.whats the worst thing you have ever done? Stole from a Walmart when I was 9. 30.whats your favorite candle scent? Twisted Peppermint. 31.3 favorite boy names Mason, Weston, Jeremy 32.3 favorite girl names Adrienne, June, Elizabeth 33.favorite actor? Andrew Rannells or John Mulaney. 34.favorite actress? Stephanie J. Block. 35.who is your celebrity crush? Still Andrew Rannells. 36.favorite movie? Don’t have one. 37.do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Nope. 38.money or brains? Brains, I’m not so rich, but DANG I’m smart. (brains or moneeeeeey) 39.do you have a nickname? what is it? Uhhhh, my nickname has to do with my real name so I guess not? 40.how many times have you been to the hospital? Personally: 1, for family: too many. 41.top 10 favorite songs The Games I Play, Your Fault/Last Midnight, Falsettoland, Sexy, Do you Want a Ride, I Know Things Now, How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, I Can Hear The Bells, What is This Feeling, Sugar Daddy. (Not in order and all musical songs) 42.do you take any medications daily? No. 43.what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry. 44.what is your biggest fear? Shots or tornadoes. 45.how many kids do you want? 2 46.whats your go to hair style? Don’t know. 47.what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) One story, decently sized. 48.who is your role model? Stephanie J. Block. 49.what was the last compliment you received? My makeup looks good. 50.what was the last text you sent? Oof (to one of my friends) 51.how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 10. 52.what is your dream car? Volkswagen Jetta 53.opinion on smoking? No thank you. 54.do you go to college? Not yet. 55.what is your dream job? Professional Theatre. 56.would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs. 57.do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yes. 58.do you have freckles? Yes. 59.do you smile for pictures? Absolutely. 60.how many pictures do you have on your phone? 59. 61.have you ever peed in the woods? No. 62.do you still watch cartoons? Barely. 63.do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Wendy’s. 64. Favorite dipping sauce? Chick-Fil-A sauce 65.what do you wear to bed? A Twinkie T-shirt and some Sonoma pajama pants. 66.have you ever won a spelling bee? Yes, in 5th and 6th grade. 67.what are your hobbies? Singing, drawing, playing piano 68.can you draw? I guess? 69.do you play an instrument? Clarinet, piano, and ukulele 70.what was the last concert you saw? Trans-Siberian Orchestra 71.tea or coffee? Coffee 72.Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks 73.do you want to get married? When I’m around 29 74.what is your crush’s first and last initial? CD 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes. 76.what color looks best on you? White and plaid 77.do you miss anyone right now? My ex-boyfriend 78.do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed. 79.do you believe in ghosts? No. 80.what is your biggest pet peeve? When people ask to see my sketchbook. 81.last person you called @itslillyillustrates 82.favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip 83.regular oreos or golden oreos? Don’t like Oreos, but golden 84.chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow 85.what shirt are you wearing? L’eggo my Eggo shirt 86.what is your phone background? Me and my two cousins 87. Are you outgoing or shy? Very outgoing 88.do you like it when people play with your hair? Depends. 89.do you like your neighbors? Some of them. 90.do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Yes, at night. 91.have you ever been high? No, don’t intend to be. 92.have you ever been drunk? (See #91) 93.last thing you ate? Chicken noodle soup 94.favorite lyrics right now I don’t want a bar mitzvah/Stupid bar mitzvah/any bar mitzvah, would you? 95.summer or winter? Winter. 96.day or night? Both. 97.dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk. 98.favorite month? December. 99.what is your zodiac sign Sagittarius 100.who was the last person you cried in front of? My dad.

[grimelords]

My July playlist is here, just in time for September! Four hours of hits from Lana Del Rey, Iannis Xenakis, KISS, Cameo and everyone in between. Please enjoy.

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey: This is a really underrated Lana song I think. It's such a beautiful song and it's so heartbreaking the way she sings "they were the only friends I ever had". It's like an origin story for her whole thing detailing how she got bitten by a radioactive pabst, I love it.

Walking Into Sunshine (Larry Levan 12" Mix) - Central Line: A powerful good mood song that quickly takes on a vibe shift near the end when he says I've got to do it now, I've got to walk into the sun' which carries a different meaning than 'walk into the sunshine' to me. Embracing positivity versus self immolation in a nuclear furnace.

Fine di Cobb - Stelvio Cipriani: This is the most jamming harpsichord I think I have ever heard. This is from the soundtrack to an italian cop film called Mark il Poliziotto (Mark The Narc) that I found in a spotify playlist called Best Of Eurocrime that I cannot recommend enough. https://open.spotify.com/user/cinevox/playlist/1o3c0Con0ormlKc9r1gqxgSince 

Last Wednesday - Highasakite: Highasakite might be the worst band name I've ever heard and they're so lucky this song is as good as it is that it cancels that out.

Hilary $wank - Joey Bada$$: I was originally just going to post the instrumental of this because the beat it just so, so good. So busy without being cluttered and nicely melodic without clouding the space for the vocals. I also like this song a lot because just by virtue of being so upbeat it escapes the worst parts of a lot of other Joey Bada$$ 'real hip hop' type songs that are going for a throwback vibe but end up just sounding dated.

Girls - Royal Headache: Girls! Think they're too fine for me! Oh Girls! And I'm inclined to agree!

Something To Tell You - Haim: I'm slowly coming around to Haim's second album and I've finally decided it's good actually. I just hope they do a live album or something soon because their songs are so tightly structured that I think it's almost to their detriment, and every live video I've seen of them they really pull them apart and expand them in a nice organic way that just doesn't come through on the album.

Lavender - BadBadNotGood & Kaytranada: I can't tell whether I like this orginal version or the Nightfall remix with Snoop Dogg better, the verses are just regular Snoop but the vocals they put on the chorus are so good I sort of wish there was a third version that was just them with some other rapper.

New Seeds - Boards Of Canada: Realising that the sound at the start of this is extrapolated from mobile phone interference was a shocking moment for me.

Alligator Engine - Hunters & Collectors: Hunters And Collectors early albums where they sounded like the Talking Heads of the Mad Max universe don't get enough respect because of their huge regular sounding hits a few albums later and it's areal shame because this song is pure primal funk.

Fly Like An Eagle - Seal: This is the song that plays on the little muzak speakers in the cryogenic chamber for the four minutes you're still conscious while your body cools to absolute zero. Then you wake up in 400 years still humming it.

Come To Dust - Boards Of Canada: I was having such a huge moment with this album this month and lamenting the imminent end of our favourite earth The Earth, and this is really such a peaceful sort of resolute song right near the end of the album before the real ending of Semena Mertvykh makes you feel like a body dumped in the desert for scientific research into the nature of decomposition.

Kiss You All Over - Millie Jackson: I'm still not sure how I feel about this new Millie Jackson album that's old multitracks re-mixed by Steve Levine. The whole thing sounds kind of whack. What's good however, is when she adlibs "I wanna bite you on the ankles baby" out of nowhere near the end, and then says "on the ankles.. on the kneecaps.." as the song's fading out.

The Sorcerer - Twain: My girlfriend sent me this song and I have no idea where she found it but I love it. As soon as I heard the opening line I was completely hooked. It's such a beautiful and foreboding song that I really can't get a proper read on, I love it.

Men Today - Health: I'm looking for a chrome extension that makes this song play at maximum volume whenever anyone makes a post containing the phrase 'men today'. Huge wall of noise. Bloodthirsty drums. All the dirt owns us now, what we were ends in the ground.

Where Love Lives - Frankie Knuckles: I'm eagerly awaiting the day coming soon that 90s piano house goes from naff to revered and rockets back up the charts.

Nein König Nein - DJ Koze: This is the B side to Seeing Aliens off of DJ Koze's new album and I really love it, mostly for the groove it get into about halfway through, it reminds me of High Fidelity by Daft Punk where it's just chopped to hell and builds these sort of disparate rhythmic cuts into a really melodic frankenstein.

Blush - Leon Vynehall: I think I found this song and the next one by Spotify Radio off of the DJ Koze song above. I got into a real groove at work one day and these two were the best two to come out of it. The bassline/strings melody that centres this whole song is so good and so circular it could feasibly play for two hours and I wouldn't notice.

Last Land - John Talabot: The way the vocal sample just keeps bleeding into itself is hypnotising here, and it's also maybe the best and most unique kick sound I've heard in a long time.

Suzinak - Ross From Friends: I almost feel bad for Ross From Friends because he's making some really amazing music but he's stuck with this dogshit soundcloud name. The Durutti Column sample that forms the basis of this song is really nicely placed without just feeling like a rip-off, but where this song really shines is in the last minute or so where it magically transitions into a crunching guitar driven thing that sounds like it's playing next door.

Canary Yellow - Deafheaven: The most incredible thing about this album is the sense of optimism that pervades it. This isn't a genre that really lends itself to hope or beauty but somehow Deafheaven have captured it in a way I didn't really think possible. It feels like they've expanded the emotional palette of the whole genre with this album, without sacrificing any of what makes it great.

Strutter - Kiss: I had this song stuck in my head the other day, but I'd remembered it wrong and had it mixed up with the chorus of Lovers And Sinners by Dallas Crane. In my version he's saying 'strutter' the way they say 'lovers'. There's an incredible song in there somewhere, but the original is pretty good too.

Lovers And Sinners - Dallas Crane: See above I guess. It's interesting listening to Dallas Crane now as a new generation is reappraising and being inspired by pub rock all over again and somehow the difference between Dallas Crane and Jet versus Bad//Dreems and Peep Tempel couldn't be more pronounced despite their shared roots. Where the former idolises the glamour of a bygone age of rock and roll the latter are reapprorating it in a more directly emotional, less flashy way.

Evryali - Iannis Xenakis: From what I understand from reading the wiki article on this piece this was generated by doing about five different kinds of extreme nerd graph maths and then turning that into music via more maths and when he finally turned up with the completed score it was so fucking stupid it had notes that don't physically exist on a standard piano in it. Now that's rock and roll. It's hard to make sense of this without the context of its composition because it feels incredibly random, but this performance by Stephnos Thomopoulos really brings meaning to the total chaos of it. I think solo piano is such a good medium for generative-type works like this because it feels like the simplest way to see everything happening without the tonal clutter of synthesised or orchestral sounds muddying the already extremely muddy waters.

Easy Way Out - Money For Rope: I love bands with two drummers and Money For Rope really know how to use two drummers, which is simply use them exactly like you would one drummer but pan them left and right so I can hear when they do different fills at the same time and get a thrill. A really good song about killing yourself when you're old(?)

Sophisticated Lady - Art Tatum: I've been having a big Art Tatum phase recently and it's hard to overstate just how much I believe Art Tatum came from another planet to teach us about the piano. He is really and truly from another dimension. So off the charts insanely good at making a whole universe from a simple tune. It's like every single note gets its own full trip around the block before he moves on.

Stay As Sweet As You Are - Art Tatum: This is an absolute odyssey in five minutes. Without ever losing focus, or losing track of the central theme, it's like he takes it apart piece by piece and reassembles it anew every single bar right before your eyes.

No Line On The Horizon - U2: 2000s U2 gets a bad rap, and it's mostly deserved but there's still some very good stuff in there. This song is so good, and so nicely produced it's a real shame that it opens the album that eventually contains Get On Your Boots.

Tools Down - The Presets: Not only is this song great, but they use the exact same synth sound as the one they used for Madeline's voice in Celeste, which has the nice side effect of making it seem like Madeline is singing along to this great song.

Open Sesame (12" Version) - Kool & The Gang: I've definitely put this on my list before but this is probably the best song ever recorded. It's incredible top to bottom for all 9 minutes and never fails to put me in a great mood.

Peril - Martin O'Donnell: I was thinking about the Halo 2 soundtrack and was shocked to remember correctly that this strange Enya knock-off made it into the highest selling game of 2004.

Drumgasm - Weiss/Cameron/Hill: I cannot belive I haven't heard of this album before now. It's Janet Weiss from Sleater-Kinney, Matt Cameron from Pearl Jam and Zach Hill all playing drums for 40 minutes and it's incredible. I would never have expected Weiss and Cameron to be the sort of drummers to do something like this, but they absolutely nail it. The different styles of the three really meld well and they all seem to lead at different times. This album is the sort of thing that seems like it would be extremely exhausting, and probably would be in most circumstances but somehow they pulled it off. It's engaging and for the most part, driven, purposeful music with direction; which is saying a lot for an album of three drummers just going absolutely hard as motherfuckers for most of an hour.

Apollo - St Paul & The Broken Bones: I love this song but the way he sings the first line makes me laugh because it sounds almost exactly like Drew Tarver's Donny Gary character. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9ArjvUUptw and I'm blessed to have this song about reusing mcdonalds cups play in my head every single time I'm in a mcdonalds.

Million Times Alone - Bad//Dreems: This is maybe the best song about working night shift and having depression I've ever heard. The part about sleeping in the day in the bright sun in a boiling hot house is an especially vicious sense memory for me.

Slow Mover - Angie McMahon: My girlfriend showed me this and I absolutely love it. I also feel extremely old because I just googled it and apparently it's an Unearthed song that made the Hottest 100 this year and I didn't even notice. The best approximation I can make of how I feel about this song is the google autocomplete when you google it that goes 'angie mcmagon slow mover meaning?' and the top comment on the Genius page for it that says 'I cried my eyes out when I first heard this song.’

Drop The Bomb (feat. MF DOOM) - YOTA: Youth Of The Apocalypse: This is the new band from the non-Clash guitarist and bassist from Gorillaz, as well as Jamie Reynolds from Klaxons and I'm so glad it exists because the new Gorillaz album was such a snore and this really feels like what it should have been. Somehow it seems Damon Albarn is not the thing that makes Gorillaz great, it's the other guys which is very very strange.

Word Up - Cameo: Mostly thinking about this song because of Carl Tart's extremely good episode of Comedy Bang Bang where he spoke in the cadence of this and the other Cameo song for the whole episode https://www.earwolf.com/episode/word-down/

Lee - Tenacious D: I don't know what's going on but I got into a real Tenacious D thing this month. Thinking deeply about comedy music for some reason. Anyway this song is so much fun and it reminds me of Tony's Theme by Pixies.

Tony's Theme - Pixies: I love the idea of writing a nonsense song about your friend Tony, who you love, to put right in the middle of your otherwise pretty serious alt rock album. If you know any other songs in the genre of Lee and Tony's Theme please reply and tell me them because I think it's really funny genre.

Burning Down The House - Tom Jones & The Cardigans: I woke up one morning with the sound of Tom Jones singing 'strange but not a stranger' in my head and it took me so much googling to find out it was this version of Burning Down The House that I was thinking of, without having heard it in probably ten years. I like that this song is ostensibly a duet but Nina Persson has such a thin voice and Tom Jones is the most powerful man to have ever lived that she's sort of just automatically relegated to backing vocals by default.

Horseshoe Crabs - Hop Along: I heard about this from the Jason Mantzoukas What's In My Bag video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecfWVhz-wyc. I cannot believe how her voice sounds, it's just incredible. The way she sings "baby's heading home" at the start shocked me, it sounds like recordings of three different people cut together. It's just amazing. I already loved this song a lot and then when I looked into it I found out it's about Jackson C. Frank and it made me cry.

Long Wat - Khun Narin: This is another one I got from the Jason Mantzoukas What's In My Bag video, it's a Thai pschedelic street band and it's quite simply the jam of a lifetime.

listen here

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

O D D N U M B E R S

EM YOU ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH THANK YOU!! X’D

1: Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

None of them work on my computer but I have a feeling when I get a phone, it’ll be Spotify.

3: what color are your eyes?

The most boring shade of brown you could possibly imagine! :D

5: what is your relationship status?

Ahhhhh single but I also have a crush so I can’t see anyone else in a romantic way??? AHHHH HELP??????

7: what color hair do you have?

Dark brown.

9: where do you shop?

Target/Kmart/Big W… we’re pooooor. XD

11: favorite social media account

YA LOOKIN AT IT :D for real tho I gotta stop wasting my life on this gotdamn website

13: any siblings?

Yeah. An asshole big brother. I hate him. :)))

15: favorite snapchat filter?

Never had a snapchat, no idea. XD

17: how many times a week do you shower?

Pretty much all 7 days. Occasionally I only shower every other day, especially when The Depression is kicking my ass. But I normally shower at LEAST 4 days a week.

19: shoe size?

21: sandals or sneakers? 

SNEAKERS. God I hAtE sandals with a fiery passion. >:(((

23: describe your dream date

adopting a shelter dog :D Getting take out and curling up on the couch watching a movie or show.

25: what color socks are you wearing?

Not wearing any. Too hot.

27: do you have a job? what do you do?

Not yet!! But we should be moving back home this year and I’m going to get one then!! :DDDD

29: whats the worst thing you have ever done?

I used to be on another site. I left that site to dedicate all my time to this one (abusive) friend, and I left all my other friends on there with only a mediocre explanation for 9 months of silence. I was in a bad place mentally and wasn’t thinking too clearly, but I still feel guilty to this day. I apologized to all of them and explained myself after I left that bad friend but it was never the same again and honestly I don’t blame them for not trusting me again. I wish I’d never done it.

31: 3 favorite boy names

Uhhhhhhhh I really don’t know? Aaron, Ben, Zephyr??????? First three that pop to mind, don’t even know if I really like them or not. XD

33: favorite actor?

T E R R Y  C R E W S :DDDD

35: who is your celebrity crush?

Don’t have one.

37: do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

YES!! Tho I do have a bad attention span when I’m bored so only books I really enjoy grab me. My all-time favourite book is Bird by Crystal Chan. It’s beautiful.

39: do you have a nickname? what is it?

Matt and Math(s) mostly! :D My parents call me Bubba bc I’m the baby of the family. XD 

41: top 10 favorite songs

(in no paticular order)

Favourite song ever

Coward

Somebody Else

Take me to Church

God Put a Smile on Your Face

Light

Mr. Blue Sky

Dust and Light

Give It Up

Gorgeous

43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Dry AF with brief and confusing bouts of Grima Wormtongue. XD

45:how many kids do you want?

Me??? A responsible parent who wouldn’t accidentally fuck up their child’s life??? *hysterical laughter* Idk. Depends on how future-me is and if my partner wants kids, I guess??

47: what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Small!! Big houses just mean more cleaning. Besides, I like feelin cozy n my parents do to. XD

49: what was the last compliment you received?

I can’t remember? Not that it was that long ago, I just tend to disregard compliments?? bc I don’t think I deserve them?? I mean don’t get me wrong I love them and appreciate them and they’re super nice but.. idk, I don’t let them soak in. :’)

51: how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

………………………………………………………………….. 14. i wAS HOMESCHOOLED AND DIDN’T HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET AND WAS BASICALLY COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTACT FROM THE WORLD AND REALITY OKAY SHUT UP. X’D

53: opinion on smoking?

If you wanna slowly and painfully kill yourself, it’s your choice, go nuts. But don’t do it around me bc my lungs flat out don’t work at the best of times. (fun fact but I actually blackmailed/guilted/manipulated my Granddad into stopping smoking when I was 6 lmao.)

55: what is your dream job? 

Waiter at a li’l cafe thing I used to go to when I was little. Also, author! :D

57: do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

……………. ye. :) XD I know they won’t reuse them so I may as well have ‘em.

59: do you smile for pictures?

Yeah but I look stupid. XD

61: have you ever peed in the woods?

Multiple times. XD

63: do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Neither. My brain doesn’t let me eat fast food. The only thing I can eat from there = chips/fries.

65: what do you wear to bed?

My birthday suit. 👀 (occasionally just briefs… but mostly nothing lmao)

67: what are your hobbies?

Writing. Walking. Daydreaming. Doodling. Playing with animals. Playing Pokemon. And watching Netflix atm. :D

69: do you play an instrument?

NO BUT I WANNA LEARN!! :D

71: tea or coffee?

TEA!!

73: do you want to get married?

I really don’t care either way??? So it’d depend entirely on what my partner wanted, I’d be happy to do anything for them. a lightning bolt might strike me at the holy alter tho just a warning XD

75: are you going to change your last name when you get married?

Again, it’d depend on what my partner wanted. But I guess I’d prefer not to? Or I could hyphenate the names?? :D

77: do you miss anyone right now?

Yep.

79: do you believe in ghosts?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!!!

81: last person you called?

Can’t remember.

83: regular oreos or golden oreos?

I’ve only ever had regular ones so I can’t really say! :D

85: what shirt are you wearing?

I’m not wearing one. Too hot. I’m wearing my binder tho (even tho I should really be bc it’s too hot and I can’t breathe properly lmao) and it’s black. :D

87: are you outgoing or shy?

I guess I’m shy? But really I’m just socially anxious. XD With people I know, I’m more outgoing.

89: do you like your neighbors?

I like the ones on our left, they’re a nice old couple.

91: have you ever been high?

No. I’ve had close people in my family addicted to drugs. Not even gonna go there.

93: last thing you ate?

BANANA CHIPS. :D🍌

95: summer or winter?

WINTER WINTER WINTER GOD I HATE SUMMER SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAA

97: dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Yes! :D

99: what is your zodiac sign

Pisces!

WHEW. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, EM!! XD :’D

[asterdust]

an open letter to BTS

dear bangtan,

hi! my name is aly and i'm from manila. it's currently afternoon here on the 21st of april, 2018. this is my first time sending you guys a letter so i'm very sorry if there are mistakes. i don't know when will you be able to read this or whether i am going to be able to send another one but just in case, i would like to grab the opportunity to say..... happy birthday seokjin, yoongi, hoseok, namjoon, jimin, taehyung, and jungkookie !!! happy chuseok !!! happy christmas and new year !!! and happy anniversary !!!

thank you sooooo much. thank you, bts. for being born. for always being there on happy times and sad times. for working hard to make everyone you love happy. i'm so proud of all of you.

when life is hard, i always turn to all of you. just opening my phone and going into your spotify page, youtube channel, or soundcloud account to listen to your music makes everyday a little bit bearable. nobody really understands and they mock us for it. is something wrong with listening to music in a different language? i used to question myself. i used to get angry at this kind of questions.

but i think, we are an anomaly. who would've thought that, me, a graduating college student two years ago would listen to "kpop" which, according to most people here, is embarrassing. ("but this is in a different language, how do you understand this???") but, kpop huh? well, they're wrong. when i first listened to you, my first thought was, "these guys, they're not idol pop at all!". from then on, i stood my ground and brag all of you to my friends. when they mock me for liking you, i go along with them sometimes. accepting the joke is better because what's the point of being mad at ignorance?

i was one of those armys in the past who never really expected that you would be known globally because the industry you came from has been treated like a plague by most. but, i guess you're all meant to change the rules of the game. that's why i am so glad we're all here experiencing all of these together and have survived hell.

you are my lifeline. you guys are the six best older brothers and one 동생 i've never had. sometimes i wonder if i should just give up on my dream. and sometimes... sometimes i think that maybe i'm not destined to go There, that i'm just going to be stuck here doing the same thing over and over again until i die. i always wonder what would happen if i chose a different path. would i be more satisfied? would my mind be more at peace? i spent everyday blaming myself that i forgot what's it's like to feel in general. i don't know anymore. but you keep me going. that it's going to be hard but it's going to be okay.

everytime i go to work, i put my earphones on and just play your music on loop because it helps me keep the dread at bay. i haven't stopped listening to you ever since i found you. your songs, they never get old. if only i have all the time in the world to listen to all of your songs, i'd do it.

i'm just so scared and anxious and tired all the time. i can't put a label onto these "feelings" because i'm scared to be diagnosed. that on top of the hard life i'm dealing with, i have to spend my money to be "treated". i don't know...

i'm so sorry for saying all of these. i just don't know who turn to anymore.

but thank you so much for always reminding me to live. for saving my friends' lives when their thoughts wouldn't stop whispering to them to off themselves. thank you for being our inspiration and the reason of our happiness.

always take care of yourselves! don't diet too much, okay? i don't really care if you guys get all chubby because what if all of sudden you got sick for not eating and tiring yourselves out? i'm going to stab all of you. on the foot. kidding aside, always be healthy!

i'll be with you guys, to whatever ends. 보라해여 !!

love,

aly

p.s. i don’t love myself yet. but i'm working on it. maybe in the future, i will be able too. we’ll get there. thank you for being the most beautiful moment in life, 방탄소년단

(I wrote this on that date as mentioned and sent it to a fanbase for their project on bangtan's 5th anniversary last June. I just feel like posting it here because their LY tour is starting and I've been listening to LY Answer since it was released. I have so many things to say. I wish I'd be able to see them once in my life and thank them for giving us reasons to love ourselves.)

[big-tony]

1-100 hoe

I hate you so much.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify for sure

3. what color are your eyes?

Ugly ass brown

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

Really obnoxious

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

I have a black 2013 Nissan Altima 

9. where do you shop?

As much as I hate them, I do most of my shopping on Amazon. I’ve started using Thrift Books when I buy books, but I also want to start going to local bookstores since some have opened up nearby.

10. how would you describe your style?

The stereotypical person who listens exclusively to music on Bandcamp but doesn’t want to commit to buying clothes at Goodwill

11. favorite social media account

Tumblr but I’m kind of warming up to Twitter

13. any siblings?

Yeah I have an older sister

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

I would say at this stage in my life I would like to live in Spain or Argentina. I’d really like to just be somewhere out of North America where I can speak Spanish all the time. I feel like it would be a nice change of pace

15. favorite snapchat filter? 

I deleted snap like four months ago but I really liked the one that just hid all of your blemishes lmao

17. how many times a week do you shower?

Like 10-12 on average

18. favorite tv show?

Either Eric Andre or the Twilight Zone

19. shoe size?

16 which makes shopping for shoes impossible

20. how tall are you?

6′5″

21. sandals or sneakers? 

Sneakers. I only wear sandals if I’m running somewhere for less than 30 minutes

22. do you go to the gym? 

I kind of neglected that this semester but before that I was going about 5 days a week

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$5 lmao

25. what color socks are you wearing? 

White

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

Just two I don’t like having too many

27. do you have a job? what do you do? 

Not rn I just finished up working as a research assistant and I’ll be applying for that position again this summer

28. how many friends do you have? 

idk if I had to guess somewhere around 30 but I see about 10 of them weekly the rest kind of rotate in and out

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

This girl was going to sit down when I was in high school and I thought it would be funny to pull the chair out from under her. It was not particularly funny and it still haunts me because it was so unnecessarily mean

30. whats your favorite candle scent? 

Fuck I don’t know what it’s called but when I’m home for the holidays my parents always burn this one candle that just reminds me of Christmas. Very cinnamon-y but also smells like pine needles

31. 3 favorite boy names

James, Antonio, David

32. 3 favorite girl names

Autumn, McKenzie, Maria

33. favorite actor? 

I don’t think I watch enough movies to have a strong opinion on this one

34. favorite actress? 

Same

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Shakira for sure

36. favorite movie? 

I watch so few movies that my favorite movie is basically the last good movie I watched so I’d say Madeinusa. If we’re going for movies that are so bad that they’re awesome I’d say Bloodsport

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

Yeah I love reading! I’d say it’s tied between The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway and 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

38. money or brains? 

Brains for sure

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? 

People used to call me Chief Keef all the time but I don’t have one anymore

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

I think like when I was born was the only time lol

41. top 10 favorite songs

In no particular order:

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Sun Kil Moon - Pancho Villa

Algernon Cadwallader - Fun

American Football - Stay Home

Shakira - Se Quiere, Se Mata

Sun Kil Moon - Micheline

Sufjan Stevens - Impossible Soul

The Microphones - The Glow, Pt. 2

Frank Dominguez & Elena Burke - Imágenes

Sufjan Stevens - Romulus

42. do you take any medications daily? 

Nah

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

I’d say pretty oily I have to shower the moment I wake up because my hair looks like a mess from the oil

44. what is your biggest fear? 

Heights

45. how many kids do you want? 

If I decide I want kids, probably just one

46. whats your go to hair style?

I like to keep it pretty short and put some gel in it it’s pretty basic

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

I live in an apartment right now but my parents’ house is kind of small compared to all my friends’ growing up.

48. who is your role model? 

I try not to have a role model per se because every time I learn about famous people they disappoint me in one way or another. I had a lot of respect for Anthony Bourdain though

49. what was the last compliment you received?

My friend told me yesterday that I’ve made a lot of positive changes in my life this past month, which meant a lot to me

50. what was the last text you sent?

“Dead af” which is pretty par for the course

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I think I was 9 when I decided he didn’t exist. No one really confirmed or denied it until I was like 12

52. what is your dream car? 

I used to say corvette but I can’t fit in one lol

53. opinion on smoking?

I can’t really get on a high horse about it because I smoke when I’m very drunk but I don’t enjoy the really strong smell of a smoker’s house

54. do you go to college? 

Yeah! I’m studying history and Spanish and I should be graduating spring 2020

55. what is your dream job? 

I want to be a professor and hopefully teach Latin American history

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

Since my indie folk days are behind me, suburbs for sure

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

No my hair seems to hate those so I have to bring my own shampoo when I go places

58. do you have freckles? 

nah

59. do you smile for pictures?

Yeah I like my smile a lot so

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

1629 according to my camera roll

61. have you ever peed in the woods? 

Oh yeah absolutely

62. do you still watch cartoons? 

I keep up with Steven Universe by force of habit but otherwise no

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

McDonald’s. Wendy’s chicken nuggets are whack

64. Favorite dipping sauce? 

Chick-Fil-A sauce

65. what do you wear to bed? 

Basketball shorts

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

I won this in-class one and they asked me to go to the school-wide one but I didn’t go

67. what are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, and learning languages mostly. I’d like to get more social hobbies at some point like get into playing pool but I haven’t gotten around to it

68. can you draw? 

Oh hell no. I tried super hard up until like 7th grade and then I accepted fate

69. do you play an instrument?

I am trying to learn the banjo but I need to get more consistent

70. what was the last concert you saw? 

I saw Fleet Foxes in March, which was an amazing show. I missed American Football in August which I’m still really upset about

71. tea or coffee?

Coffee, though I’d like to learn more about tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Dunkin Donuts just because it’s cheaper

73. do you want to get married?

Yeah I have a crippling fear of ending up alone lmao

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

I don’t really have a crush but the girl I’m seeing’s initials are BS which is interesting to say the least

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

No but I probably should because my last name is bland af

76. what color looks best on you? 

I think I look good in a deep purple

77. do you miss anyone right now? 

Unfortunately yes but I’m getting over it slowly

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Closed. I have this irrational fear that I will wake up and someone is watching me, but in all reality an unlocked door won’t stop them if that’s what it is going to come to

79. do you believe in ghosts?

Nah

80. what is your biggest pet peeve? 

People who read, watch, or hear something slightly out of the ordinary and go “WOW I WONDER HOW MANY DRUGS THEY MUST HAVE BEEN ON TO COME UP WITH THAT”

81. last person you called`

My parents like two hours ago

82. favorite ice cream flavor? 

Cookies and cream

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? 

Regular, I didn’t know people liked the golden ones

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

Rainbow

85. what shirt are you wearing? 

A UCF football shirt! Go Knights

86. what is your phone background?

Salamovka at Night (Judy’s Window Lit) by Lois Dodd

87. are you outgoing or shy?

Very outgoing lol

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Ugh I love it so much

89. do you like your neighbors? 

Never talked to em but they’re quiet so I can’t complain

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Yeah before bed and after my shower

91. have you ever been high? 

Many times

92. have you ever been drunk? 

Many times

93. last thing you ate? 

I got a chicken tender sub at Publix!

94. favorite lyrics right now

Don’t leave home, again

If empathy takes energy

‘Cause everyone feels just like you

But that’s life, it’s so social

95. summer or winter? 

Winter because I like when it’s a bit chillier, even though Florida does not get very cold. It’s been in the 40s and 50s this week which has been incredible and I wish we had more days like that.

96. day or night? 

I like the night during summer and the day during winter. 

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

Milk chocolate

98. favorite month? 

October

99. what is your zodiac sign

Libra

100. who was the last person you cried in front of? 

My ex-girlfriend about three years ago.

I still hate you for this.

[hyp-oh-critical]

Easy by graves, Duskus ft. joni payne

Listen on Soundcloud / Spotify

I wish it was easy But it's not easy Letting you go I hate what you did But I miss how you love

Another hour passes. A car drives by, its tires cycles over the wet pavement outside. The wind coming through the slight crack in the window pushed the navy blue curtains around. There was a dull stream of sunlight filtering through, but her eyes remained stagnant on the popcorn ceiling above her.

Her ears rang, a muffled voice trying to break through. She turns her head slowly to find the origin of the noise.

“You gotta get up dude, he was a douchebag so don’t waste another second thinking about him.”

The girl blinks, confused and also a little offended. Without much of a sound, she returns her gaze to the ceiling above her.

“It’s really not that hard to move on,” her friend’s bony grasp peeled her arm from within her the pocket of her hoodie, but she resisted.

“It really is,” her first words in the last forty-eight hours. Her voice was scratchy and low from all the crying previously. 

“It’s not easy to just let go of him. We spent three and a half years together, what makes you think...” her voice cracks, “What makes you think anything about that is easy to just get over?”

Fingers go slack at those words, she takes this chance to bring her sleeve up to wipe at the bottom of her eyes, “But sure, just let go yeah?” 

I got my vetements hoodie and my Vans onLooking like I ball, gotta play alongLooking like I might not make it homeI wish it was easyAnd everything that we went throughIs leaving my mindI don't need to be with youWhen I'm feeling alive…Why you calling me though?Why you calling me, don'tWhy you calling me, no, I'm not picking up the phone

A chorus of laughter echoed as she let her feet move about beneath her. The music was loud but her friends’ cheers were even louder. Her scuffed, blue Vans scraped against the cement floors of the garage, LED lights that lined the edges of the ceiling flickered to the beat of the song. 

The digital clock on the wall turned two, but that wasn’t stopping anyone. A familiar hand tugged on hers as her friend encouraged her to keep dancing, arms flailing and bodies moving out of sync but it was a good time. 

“See! There’s way more to life than just him, look at us!” 

With the slight buzz of alcohol in her system, her only response was throwing her head back in laughter, slight agreement but with little protest and for the first time in a few weeks, she could agree with her friend. 

Her ringing phone remained unnoticed. It stopped briefly, displaying three missed calls and two voicemails from a number that no longer mattered to her. At least not in this very moment…

It's not easy in this empty house without youI keep looking back at the feeling of being gladWhen I found youI read the note you left so I knowYou do not regret letting goAt least that's what you saidBut I don't believe youAnd everything that we went throughEverything we did wrongI got angels and demonsSwaying me but

Another hour passes. A car drives by, its tires cycles over the wet pavement outside. The wind coming through the slight crack in the window pushed the navy blue curtains around. There was a dull stream of sunlight followed through, but her eyes remained stagnant on the opened box in front of her on the carpet. 

Her ears rang, a muffled voice trying to break through. She turns her head slowly to find the origin of the noise coming from the ad playing in between songs on her phone. 

She returns her gaze to the box, a stack of letters and notes in varying colours called out. Her hand reaches to pull them out, revealing scattered photos of the two of them from events and vacation spots. 

For the next while, she remains in her spot on the floor by her bed, eyes blurred by tears as she went through each and every handwritten message he had given her over the time they spent together. 

Soft words and inside jokes. Confessions and I love you’s, the reminiscing feelings… 

She missed him. 

She missed his touches and the soft kisses exchanged behind closed doors. The way his arms wrapped around her waist during embraces and time spent in bed cuddled up as they caught up on television shows and movies. Friday nights were spent dancing in the living room as he put on his favourite songs, and Sunday mornings in the kitchen with breakfast on the stove and tea brewing in respective mugs. 

Now her Fridays felt like some sad attempt to numb the ache in her heart with cheap liquor and shitty music, Sunday mornings passed in the blink of an eye as she tried to recover for her Fridays.

The song switches, drawing her attention to her phone sitting on her nightstand. 

She missed him…

I'm not calling you, no I'm not calling you, no I'm not calling you so why'd my hand reach for the… 

Originally posted to my secondary blog in July 2020. Now rewritten and published as part of my Relocated Writes Series.

[the-11-doctor]

1-100

  So this is payback, eh? Here we Go. Under the cut to keep things tidy!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Spotify, all the way.is your room messy or clean?  Messy, but only cause I've been sick.what color are your eyes?  Green - sometimes brown, I have heterochromia and they change color. Sometimes they're grey.do you like your name? why?  Sort of. I like it because it's informal, but I don't like it because some people have used it in cruel, demeaning ways and I wish that it'd never left their mouth.what is your relationship status?  Single, probably.describe your personality in 3 words or less  Confused, wise, open.what color hair do you have?  Brown, bits of gold in it.what kind of car do you drive? color?  I don't drive yet.where do you shop?  At the local supermarkets.how would you describe your style?  Jock, sporty - laid back. favorite social media account  My instagram, probably.what size bed do you have?  Double bed. Lonely, but mine.  any siblings?  One brother.if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  I would live in Kilkenny. That's where my gran was from - and that's where family may be.favorite snapchat filter?  The dog filter.favorite makeup brand(s)  No.how many times a week do you shower?  Five or six depending how I feel.favorite tv show?  Doctor Who.shoe size?  11-12 depending on the shoe.how tall are you?  6'.sandals or sneakers?  Sneakers. Sandals are disgusting.do you go to the gym?  I used to, yeah. I'll probably start again soon.describe your dream date  I don't really have one. I guess we just spend a fun day together talking about the world and our aspirations and what we like, then maybe go get something to eat?how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?  Oh you don't want to know.what color socks are you wearing?  Navy blue.how many pillows do you sleep with?  Two.do you have a job? what do you do?  No, I'm a student at the moment, but I can become an ambassador to promote a brand if I want to.how many friends do you have?  I can count them on both hands. But maybe over ten?whats the worst thing you have ever done?  The biggest mistake I ever made was not being more patient. I lost six years over the span of a few days because I flew off the handle. Choices made in anger cannot be taken back, learned that the hard way. whats your favorite candle scent?  I don't know. It's a grey candle.3 favorite boy names  Rowan, Harry, Jack, Oliver.3 favorite girl names  Amelia, Kara, Alice.favorite actor?  Is there anyone else? (pic for reference)

favorite actress?  Alex Kingston.who is your celebrity crush?  Ha. Ha ha. Alex K.favorite movie?  American Psycho.do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?  No, I don't. But my favorite book was the Fault in Our Stars.money or brains?  Brains = money does it not?do you have a nickname? what is it?  I used to. My nickname was dannyzukobb.how many times have you been to the hospital?  Enough.top 10 favorite songs  1. Shotgun, George Ezra.  2. Don't Matter Now, George Ezra.  3. (yes) Waterloo, Abba.  4. Haunting, Halsey.  5. L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N, Noah and The Whale.  6. IDGAF, Dua Lipa.  7. See You On The Other Side, Ozzy Osbourne.  8. A Little Bit Stronger, Sara Evans.  9. Drive By, Train. 10. I Know It's Over, The Smiths.do you take any medications daily?  Yeah. I take omeprazole. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)  Fuck knows? Fleshy.what is your biggest fear?  Living past the age of twenty with all the regrets lingering that I hold to this day.  how many kids do you want?  I don't know if I want kids.whats your go to hair style?  Swept back quiff.what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  A maisonette.who is your role model?  Everybody who's ever played The Doctor.what was the last compliment you received?  That I smell nice - at the college induction - after Katie tried to lick me and got me in a headlock (it was funnier at the time, and probably funnier in my head).what was the last text you sent?  "Fuck".how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?  Six or seven.what is your dream car?  A convertable of some sort.opinion on smoking?  Whatever, your life, you live it.do you go to college?  Indeed I do.what is your dream job?  To become an actor.would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  Rural, probably, since I already live in one.do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  Depends.do you have freckles?  On my arms and stuff, yeah.do you smile for pictures?  It depends. Sometimes I do, often times not.how many pictures do you have on your phone?  A lot. have you ever peed in the woods?  Yeah, only cause desperation.do you still watch cartoons?  Sometimes.do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?  McDonald's, Wendy's doesn't exist here.Favorite dipping sauce?  Tomato sauce.what do you wear to bed?  Just shorts or sweatpants.have you ever won a spelling bee?  No? what are your hobbies?  Acting, YouTube, eating I guess.can you draw?  I try to.do you play an instrument?  Is mayonnaise an instrument?what was the last concert you saw?  I didn't.tea or coffee?  Neither.Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?  Starbucks, never had a Dunkin..do you want to get married?  No. Not anymore.what is your crush’s first and last initial?  I don't have a crush.are you going to change your last name when you get married?  I'm not planning on getting married.what color looks best on you?  Black/Red.do you miss anyone right now?  Yeah.do you sleep with your door open or closed?  Closed.do you believe in ghosts?  I don't believe in ghosts, but I do believe in spirits.what is your biggest pet peeve?  When people are rude for no reason, or lie to me - there's no reason not to be honest, I understand life happens, shit happens, just be real, you know?last person you called`  My mum, probably.favorite ice cream flavor?  Raspberry ripple.regular oreos or golden oreos?  Regular, never had golden.chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?  Chocolate.what shirt are you wearing?  I'm not.what is your phone background?  It's just a black canvas with the wording "whatever you are looking for, is also looking for you. If you are looking for nothing, then nothing is also looking for you".are you outgoing or shy?  I'm pretty outgoing.do you like it when people play with your hair?  Yeah, sometimes.do you like your neighbors?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHdo you wash your face? at night? in the morning?  Both.have you ever been high?  Yes.have you ever been drunk?  Obviously.last thing you ate?  Bourbon biscuit I think.favorite lyrics right now  "I'm still standing after all this time - picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind - you starting down the road, leaving me again"summer or winter?  Winter.day or night?  Night.dark, milk, or white chocolate?  Milk or white.favorite month?  I don't have one. what is your zodiac sign  Pisces. who was the last person you cried in front of?  My mum, I think, from the excruciating pain.

[whydontwejustblog]

unusual asks

@anon that said “1-100,” i’m no chicKEN—

spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? spotify all the way.

is your room messy or clean? messy i like to think it’s neat.

what color are your eyes? a boring dark brown.

do you like your name? why? i hate it. i wish it was esteban julio ricardo montoya dela rosa ramirez.

what is your relationship status? what’s a relaytionsheep?

describe your personality in 3 words or less. boring.

what hair color do you have? still a boring dark brown.

what kind of car do you drive? color? …i’m not old enough to drive, but if i was, you better bet i’d have a rainbow car because #yolo. (lmao stop your influence @heartsavery.)

where do you shop? at the candy store. *instantly thinks of heathers*

how would you describe your style? non-existent.

favorite social media account? if i say tumblr, will it start working for me?

what size bed do you have? a queen-sized one. (no, that wasn’t a pun or anything.)

any siblings? i like to think she doesn’t exist.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? i’ve heard of this place called niue, which apparently has pikachu coins as part of their currency, so sign me up. (japan is also another option, because i love the atmosphere in kyoto. except for that one time i got lost at night near a creepy abandoned church.)

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t use filters much since i don’t take pictures of myself, but i’ll have to say the classic dog filter.

favorite makeup brand(s)? i don’t wear makeup.

how many times a week do you shower? i shower around once or twice a day. weird, i know, but it’s normal around here in a country that’s hot all year round. (except, of course, when there are typhoons, because it’s one extreme or another.)

favorite tv show? danger dings (read: stranger things.) i even have a side blog for it. *cough* @anevenstrangerblog *cough* i know the question only asked for one but can i throw in asoue too? i love both the books and the netflix show. malina’s so pretty i cri. ooh, andi mack is another show that i absolutELY LOVE AND—

shoe size? 6.5 in us women’s.

how tall are you? not tall at all. next question.

sandals or sneakers? sneakers are all i own.

do you go to the gym? no.

describe your dream date. with nikolai lantsov. but since he’s “fictional,” i’ll settle for the person giving me a fortune, then leaving me alone for the rest of my life. (but if the person was finn wolfhard / malina weissman / sadie sink, they can *in mulan’s grandma’s voice* stAy fOrevEr.)

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? about 2500 pesos and 2000 yen.

what color socks are you wearing? they’re pikachu socks.

how many pillows do you sleep with? one or none because quite frankly, i only like hugging pillows. sleeping on them is uncomfortable for me.

do you have a job? what do you do? i don’t have a job, but my class runs a business (with a beneficiary who all the proceeds go to), and i manage its marketing and finance. i also design a couple stuff for my mom’s clinic thing, which i guess is considered a job since i get paid.

how many friends do you have? if you don’t count online friends, zero ahaha.

what’s the worst thing you have ever done? lmao idk, exist?

what’s your favorite candle scent? i dunno. most probably woodsy or floral scents.

3 favorite boy names? names don’t have genders.

3 favorite girl names? names don’t have genders.

favorite actor? noah schnapp, my precious son.

favorite actress? millie bobby brown because why not.

who is your celebrity crush? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

favorite movie? the bee movie ahAHAHAHA the original spongebob movie.

do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book? i read waaay too much, and just like any of my other favorite things, i can’t pick just one favorite book, but i love six of crows by leigh bardugo.

money or brains? can i have both?

do you have a nickname? what is it? i’m called stupid a lot, does that count? ahaha :’) micah’s actually one of my nicknames.

how many times have you been to the hospital? too many times to count.

top 10 favorite songs? i have too many songs i like, so i’ll list some i remember right now (and limit myself to one song per artist.) crazy=genius by p!atd, bellyache by billie eilish, migraine by tøp, c’est la vie by maurice moore, glorious by macklemore, for him by troye sivan, my songs know what you did in the dark by fob, non-stop from the hamilton cast recording, teacher by prettymuch, and we the party by why don’t we.

do you take any medication daily? just vitamins, not medication.

what is your skin type? idk dude.

what is your biggest fear? the unknown.

how many kids do you want? zero.

what’s your go-to hair style? just my hair down since i’m lazy.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc.) i don’t know how to describe the size of my house lmao.

who is your role model? thomas the tank engine.

what was the last compliment you received? i’m not sure if it was meant as a compliment, but that one anon who asked advice from me said they were awed by my independence so there’s that.

what was the last text you sent? i sent “i’m hungry” to one of my housekeepers.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? he IS real. i don’t know what the quackidy quack you’re talking about.

what is your dream car? lightning mcqueen. ka-chow!

opinion on smoking? i’m asthmatic, so personally, i don’t smoke, and i don’t encourage it either. if you’re talking about cigarettes, it harms the lungs of not only the smoker, but the people around them. it also affects air pollution (its effect is 10 times stronger than those of diesel car exhausts), and i’m very against all types of pollution to the environment. (i’m looking at you, glitter, which, if you didn’t already know, contributes to the pollution of waterways.)

do you go to college? i will in 2 years. (i’ll be a wee child all alone in another country :’( @whydontwejustbesomethingdiffrent i’m dragging you along if it’s the last thing i do.)

what is your dream job? i don’t really know lmao.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? who doesn’t?

do you have freckles? no.

do you smile for pictures? i don’t like having pictures of me taken, but i occasionally smile awkwardly.

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i recently cleared out my photo library so now i’m left with only 3033 pictures.

have you ever peed in the woods? no.

do you still watch cartoons? duh.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald’s? there are no branches of wendy’s where i live so i’ll go with mcdonald’s.

favorite dipping sauce? does gravy count?

what do you wear to bed? pajamas.

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never participated in one aside from the mini ones we used to hold in class before, which i won because the competition wasn’t exactly tough.

what are your hobbies? photography, bullet journaling, brush lettering, eating, reading, scrolling endlessly through my phone, dying, and other fun stuff. coding and robotics are cool too.

can you draw? @thefangirlingmaster i still stand by my opinion that i can’t.

do you play an instrument? the only instrument i can fluently play is the violin, since i was taught how to play it at 6 years old, but i own a guitar and keyboard which i can sorta play.

what was the last concert you saw? a pentatonix one.

tea or coffee? water.

starbucks or dunkin’ donuts? starbucks.

do you want to get married? not really.

what is your crush’s first and last initial? f.w. (hint: it rhymes with pinn rolfhard.)

are you going to change your last name when you get married? i dunno man.

what color looks best on you? still dunno man.

do you miss anyone right now? no.

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed.

do you believe in ghosts? uh…

what is your biggest pet peeve? my neighbors slow walkers

last person you called? my dad.

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies and cream.

regular oreos or golden oreos? i only eat mini-sized regular oreos.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? choCOLATE *insert gif of that one fish from spongebob*

what shirt are you wearing? a panda shirt i got from singapore a couple years ago.

what is your phone background? it’s a zoomed in face of the ice cream octopus from dora. my parents say it’s creepy, but i think it’s calming. (i couldn’t post it on here because tumblr says i reached a limit, but if you wanna see it, tell me to send it to you.)

are you outgoing or shy? depends on the people i’m with.

do you like it when people play with your hair? it tickles.

do you like your neighbors? i’d prefer it if they moved far far away (haha shrek reference) and took their horrible karaoke with them.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i wash my face everytime i shower.

have you ever been high? nope.

have you ever been drunk? nope. (i was gonna come up with some punny joke but i’m too hungry to think right now. which reminds me, i have to go eat something real quick, be right back—)

last thing you ate? oh wow, perfect timing. i just ate mango float.

favorite lyrics right now? it’s from my son troye’s song, suburbia. “swallow nostalgia, chase it with lime. better than dwelling, and chasing time. missing occasions, i can’t rewind. can’t help but feel i’ve lost what’s mine.”

summer or winter? it’s basically summer all year round here so—

day or night? night.

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk chocolate.

favorite month? december.

what is your zodiac sign? sagittarius.

who was the last person you cried in front of? my dad.

[blockpaths]

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TIMESTAMPS (thanks to Nate Lovell): Introduction- 0:00 BTC Price Still Bearish (preview)- 0:15 Alts going wild (preview)- 1:02 Crypto Community Welcome and Shoutouts- 1:22 Ivan on Tech Full Stack Devs Job Opportunity (Node, React, Web3)- 2:32 Free Crypto Trading Webinar Reminder- 4:06 Ivan on Tech US Taxation Course Presale- 4:32 Saturday Wisdom: Michael Saylor is buying the dip- 5:12 Market Analysis- 5:36 Grayscale including more and more alts- 5:50 Bitcoin Fib Levels- 7:50 Liquid Supply Change Glassnode On-Chain Metric- 9:34 Overvalued things will become even more overvalued- 14:32 There is no BTC liquidity- 18:40 CyberFi Updates- 19:39 MahaDAO News- 20:26 TrustSwap Updates- 20:45 Fire Protocol News- 21:20 Shopping io Update- 22:05 Exceedme News- 25:04 YIELD App Update- 25:17 Free Crypto Trading Webinar Reminder- 27:45 bybit Collaboration- 28:19 Q&A- 29:30 Q1- Next month could we see BTC dominance fall? 29:47 Q2- Do you think ETH will replace the store of value role of BTC in the future? 30:50 Q3- Did you know Swap has a collab with SPI? 32:21 Q4- Is your mole still in the whitehouse? 37:31 Q5- How can you get PAID tokens? 38:31 Q6- Why don’t devs use vyper language on eth? 40:13 Q7- What’s the difference in your ETH smart contracts courses? 42:31 Q8- What time zone you think close above 33k? 43:17 Q9- What about PolkaBridge (scam?)? 43:31 Q10- What is your explanation on aETH value? 48:04 Q11- If BTC pumps again will it take money out of alts? 48:45 Q12- Do you throw some money into low cap alts? 50:02 Q13- Can you explain what is the "path" when using a Ledger on Metamask for example? 51:00 Q14- Do we know when we will have Tether news? 53:20

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Ivan on Tech by Ivan Liljeqvist

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