#I wish joshua saw it he would have been laughing the whole way to the infirmary

[moonilit]

Self Immolation chapter 17, Holy and Jote for @itsjustliah

[ode2cheol]

don’t look for me anymore

9.2k words yoon jeonghan x f!reader, harry potter au, lovers to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers (😭), angst, fluff, kind of dialogue heavy, misunderstandings

synopsis; the last time you and jeonghan saw each other felt like it’d be the last, but clearly fate had different plans

“ow- watch it yoon!” your friend soonyoung scowled at the boy that had just bumped into him. the boy in question being none other than yoon jeonghan.

“why? you that weak that it broke your arm or something? your little girlfriend going to kiss it better for you?” the long haired boy shot back, his voice going high pitched at the end in favour of mocking your friend. jeonghan’s eyes turned to you, “though i can’t expect you’d be with her for much longer” he narrowed his eyes, “she’s not even bothered to stand up for you” he scoffed mirthfully.

“she’s not my girlfriend, but even if she was or wasn’t it’s none of your business so leave her alone?” soonyoung snarled at him.

despite soonyoung’s wishes, the slytherin would not leave you alone. he continued to stare you down, patiently waiting however long it’d take you to budge and acknowledge his presence.

“ln. you blind or something?” he stared down at you, “not even going to say hi to an old friend?” he faked a pout, faux sadness in his voice.

“i’d never be friends with someone like you, yoon” you glared at him, trying your best to not present yourself in a way that was open to something he could poke fun at you for.

he scoffed. you could tell he saw right through you. for a gryffindor, you were always quite the coward when it came to jeonghan.

“that so? you didn’t have the same thing to say a few years ago though” he smirked, hell bent on making sure you remember what the two of you’ve known for years but you try hiding so desperately. “ah well, i’ve got better things to do now so i’ll see you and your girlfriend another time”

soonyoung waited for jeonghan to leave before turning to you, “think if i pay shua he’ll put some hair removing potion into his shampoo?”

you breathed a laugh out at his idea, imagining jeonghan’s reaction to it. he’d probably use his whole life savings to get the school shut down.

——- ★

walking into your transfiguration class, you quickly moved to get to the last seat at a table of a few gryffindors. your face dropped when you saw it be taken by a hufflepuff. scanning the classroom, your eyes set on the last remaining seat at the table of slytherin’s, and low and behold, there was yoon jeonghan. luckily enough, the seat wasn’t next to him but one of his friends, joshua.

from what soonyoung had told you about joshua, he was nice- so much so that soonyoung insists the sorting hat must’ve been having an off day when it decided to place him in slytherin. but from what your other friend seungcheol had told you, joshua was just as mischievous if not more so than jeonghan. and from what you’d seen of him in classes for the last few years, he was incredibly good at thinking on his feet. the amount of excuses he’d managed to pull from out of thin air had you questioning just how eventful this man’s life was.

you’d quickly moved to the table, smiling slightly to joshua “uh, is it alright if i sit here?”

joshua smiled easily at you, “yeah sure go ahead” getting a quill out of his bag before moving it off of the seat so you could sit there.

you breathed out a ‘thank you’ before grabbing a quill yourself, keeping your gaze fixed on the textbook while you waited for your professor to arrive.

as much as you’d tried to avoid it- you could feel his eyes on you. you knew jeonghan was staring at you, but you couldn’t deal with him embarrassing you in front of his friends so you avoided passing your gaze to him.

——- ★

class felt like it’d never end but as soon as mcgonagall had dismissed you, you don’t think you’d ever packed your things that quickly.

turning on your heel you made a beeline for the door, hoping to catch up with seungcheol to head to your next class.

“yn” you heard someone behind you clear their throat, and you silently prayed it wasn’t who you thought it was. you turned around to see joshua with his hand out, “yn, you forgot your book”

“oh thank you, joshua” you hummed, smiling up at him. for a split second, you looked to the left of him and saw jeonghan staring right back at you. “well..” you cleared your throat, “i’ve got to go now, but thanks again. i’ll see you around, bye!” and then you were gone.

“should’ve burnt it instead of giving it back” jeonghan muttered while he walked out of the classroom with his friend.

“next time, you can have at it” joshua laughed. being jeonghan’s best friend, he was well aware of the circumstances between you and jeonghan. “don’t you think it’s about time you let it go?” joshua suggested when they’d arrived back to the common room.

“it’s not like i care about that, i just don’t like people as spineless as her” jeonghan muttered. despite his words, joshua could easily tell he didn’t mean it. he was still genuinely hurt at what happened in your guys’ fifth year. “whatever. you heading to hogsmeade this weekend?”

“not sure yet. might have to catch up on some homework, why?” joshua pondered over it.

“i wanted to head down to grab something” jeonghan sighed, “a book you idiot!” jeonghan continued after seeing the sceptical look from his friend.

“you can’t blame me for being curious, can you?” joshua laughed, dodging the pillow his friend threw at him.

“well if you do change your mind, let me know. anyway, i’ve got alchemy now, i’ll see you at dinner”

joshua nodded, waving at his friend before heading to his own class, potions.

——- ★

“have you thought about what you’re going to do after n.e.w.t’s?” nayeon asked you as the two of walked into class.

“hm? uh i was thinking maybe taking a year to myself for travelling or something” you thought over it for a few seconds, “i think i’ll end up going insane if i need to start looking for jobs immediately” you laughed.

“that’s fair” nayeon returned your laughs, “i’m not completely sure what i want to do either. i was so confident back in fifth but now it’s just.. i’m so unmotivated” she groaned, burying her head in her arms.

you rubbed her back in comfort, looking to the door to make sure professor snape hadn’t arrived yet. you knew what he was like, if he saw nayeon ‘slacking off’ as he would put it, he’d end up taking it out on all gryffindor. “oh- nayeon quick get up” you whispered when you caught a glimpse of his greasy, unkempt hair.

“oh shit thanks” she told you hurriedly, quickly gathering the materials from her bag. you stifled a laugh at her panic, secretly urging her to hurry up because snape was about to direct his line of vision to the two of you.

luckily, nayeon had managed to get everything out in time and from what snape saw she was raring to get the lesson started.

“nayeon, this weekend professor sprout has requested you help the first years with their extra curricular” snape looked over unamused.

nayeon sighed before nodding, and turned to you to roll her eyes before plastering a smile on and turning back to the board.

“can’t believe i have to cancel our plans this weekend to help with herbology. why couldn’t that slimy snape just ‘forget’ to tell me instead” your friend groaned disheartened.

you laughed, “it’s fine don’t worry about it, we can always go next week!” you reassured her.

“if i end up dying before that i’ll make sure i turn into a ghost and terrorise the herbology class from now on” she mumbled, still pouting. “oh well. i suppose if we can’t hang out you can at least spend some time with your ‘boyfriend’” nayeon teased.

you looked at her confused for a few seconds before groaning and rolling your eyes, “are you talking about guwon again? i told you he’s not my boyfriend!”

“you guys are literally always together!” she accused, a smirk settling on her face.

“that’s because he doesn’t have any friends!” you lied. from what you knew, guwon was pretty popular in ravenclaw, “we only know or talk to each other because our parents are best friends. if it wasn’t for that i wouldn’t even look at him”

nayeon pondered for a few seconds, “you have to admit though.. he’s pretty cute isn’t he?”

you sighed, clearly she wasn’t going to drop it. “i guess you’re right.. guwon is a little cute, but ah-!” you were cut off by someone bumping, well more pushing, passed you.

“watch it!” nayeon screamed at whoever it was, helping you up at the same time. “ugh, some people are so rude. are you alright yn?”

nayeon had her wand out, ready to hex whoever had bumped into you without even apologising.

“i’m fine, thanks” small smile on your face. you looked over for a few seconds while nayeon was still ranting about the manners of people in this school, you could see the back of who had bumped into you and you immediately recognised those long raven locks of hair. you frowned slightly; you really couldn’t blame him. you smiled at nayeon before just suggesting to head back to the common room until dinner.

——- ★

that weekend, you decided to head to hogsmeade on your own, asking nayeon what she wanted you to bring back for her. after making a note of it, you headed off.

when you arrived, you made a beeline for the three broomsticks, although you quickly regretted it seeing how busy it was. there was only one free seat and it was next to- oh great.

“mind if i sit here?” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“what? you sit here?” jeonghan deadpanned, looking up at you, “no. get lost” he didn’t pay you any more mind, going back to sipping his drink.

you sighed exasperated, “look there’s literally no where else to sit!” you gestured toward all the seats to emphasise your point.

jeonghan followed what you were pointing at, before settling on one table. he pointed toward it, gathering your attention, “isn’t that your boyfriend over there? why don’t you go sit next to your darling, cute moon guwon?” he made a physical show of gagging unenthusiastically.

you stayed silent for a minute. “yeah that’s what i thought” he scoffed. “always so spineless. for a gryffindor you’re a real coward, you know that?”

he continued to sip his butter beer, really paying you no more attention. that was until you shoved him to make room for you on the bench.

“the hell do you think you’re doing?” he whisper-shouted at you, ears turning red at how close to his side you were.

“just shut up for once!” you scoffed, “that was what i hated most about you when we dated” you shook your head at him, aware he could see the teasing gleam in your eyes.

he shook his own head, “oh yeah? well i hated how you never understood the concept of personal space, and clearly-” he gestured between the two of you, “you still haven’t”

you giggled lightly, taking your own butter beer from the waitor, “thank you” you smiled as she left. “whatever. see it isn’t hard for you to be civil is it?”

you looked up at jeonghan when he went silent, but he was looking at something else. you followed his line of sight and saw guwon approaching the two of you.

“yn, hi! you’re with.. jeonghan.. how have you guys been?” he smiled tight lipped.

“uh good. how about you, guwon?” you shifted uncomfortably.

“i’m great! jeonghan?”

the boy in question was currently staring down at his hands, playing with a coin between his fingers. “hm?” he looked up. “i’m uh, i’m good guwon. thanks” he said void of emotion.

“great! yn how about you join me at my table?” he said moving to grab your hand.

you moved your hand from where he could grab it, moving it to your pocket instead. you were tired of jeonghan making assumptions on his own. “i’m going to head out after i finish this anyway. just wanted to grab a drink. thanks though!”

guwon nodded before heading back to his own table, but you could tell he wasn’t happy. you rolled your eyes at the thought of a letter from your parents coming within the next few days to scold you.

whatever- that didn’t matter. what mattered was the boy sitting next to you. warily, you looked back at him, a distant look in his eyes. he looked so hurt, and tired. “jeonghan-” you started, only for him to put a hand up to stop you.

“i can’t be bothered with your explanation, ln” he muttered, “just finish your drink and leave me alone, please”

you nodded before gulping down the rest of your drink, heading to the counter to pay for yours as well as jeonghan’s drink. it was the least you could do.

when you got back to hogwarts, the first thing you did was head back to the dorm. you didn’t care about dinner tonight, you just felt so tired. you left the book nayeon wanted on her bed before you sat on your own. rubbing your face as you collected your thoughts, reminiscing on the past.

little did you know jeonghan was thinking the same on the other side of the castle.

during fifth year, you and jeonghan were incredibly happy together. you both hated being apart from each other so much that hiding the relationship seemed to be the most difficult thing ever. you would have to borrow someone else’s hands to count the amount of close calls there were.

“baby” jeonghan whined from next to you, both of you sitting in the old astronomy tower that nobody used anymore. “this hiding the relationship thing is getting too tiresome. we’ve been dating for months now, are you sure we can’t..?” he looked over to you, hopeful that you’d finish his sentence with the words he so desperately wanted to hear.

“what? tell people we’re dating?” you looked over at him perplexed, you’ve explained the situation to him more times you could count. “han.. you know i want to but-”

“your parents. i know i know. i’m sorry” he looked back up at the stars, shoulders deflating in defeat.

you gulped nervously, there really was only so much someone could put up with before they lose their mind. “hannie..” you whispered, taking his hands in yours, “i’m sorry. this summer i’ll convince them, alright?”

“you will?” jeonghan looked at you, his eyes resembling those of a kicked puppy.

“i will- and besides! it’s not like you’re the problem, it’s my parents! they don’t want me dating anyone” you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t catch onto your white lie. and thankfully he didn’t because you saw him get a little more energy from knowing your parents didn’t have a personal grudge against him.

about two weeks after your night with jeonghan in the astronomy tower, dumbledore had announced the parents dinner/ball that was to be held.

when jeonghan approached you when it had first been announced you knew this situation wasn’t going to end well. because he had suggested he find a way to convince your parents at the dinner that he was good enough for you. and in that moment you realised yoon jeonghan was in fact too good for you.

“mom, dad please don’t do this” you glared at your parents while whisper-shouting your complaints. still, they beckoned the Moon’s over, catching up with their old friends and introducing you to their son, moon guwon. you shook his hand, shooting him a curt, tight-lipped smile.

you weren’t exactly unfamiliar with him. he was a ravenclaw boy in your year who, from what you knew from seungcheol, was popular in his house. he was definitely their best candidate for head boy in a few years.

“why don’t the two of you go dance?” your mother laughed obnoxiously, already pushing the two of you to the center.

guwon circled his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. he smiled down at you, eyebrows furrowing when he saw how unhappy you looked.

“please let me go” you told him coldly, “i don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be dancing with you”

“why? think you’re going to hurt yoon’s feelings? look to your left you’re already too late” guwon scoffed, his head nodding toward jeonghan who you couldn’t read at all.

your face ran cold, desperately trying to get to him but guwon kept you close to him. “let me-”

“do you really just want to hurt him even more?” he looked at you seriously, “what? you really think you can convince your own, as well as my parents to call off this fantasy engagement they’ve had planned for us since they were our age?”

“you’re telling me that’s real? well we can’t just let them-”

“you can argue with them all you want” guwon told you unamused, “if you want yourself to end up on the streets on diagon alley, you go ahead”

a few minutes later, jeonghan had left and you did your best to excuse yourself from the party. jeonghan wasn’t anywhere near the entrances to the main hall. you saw a few of his friends but stopped yourself from asking them, it’d only cause suspicion.

you ran to the slytherin common room, maybe you could catch up with him before he entered; you didn’t know the password so there was no chance of the two of you could talk things through. when you had arrived, you still couldn’t find jeonghan.

‘where could he have gone?’ you paced thinking to yourself. and then it hit you.

when you arrived at the old astronomy tower, jeonghan was sitting there, looking up at the stars like he always did.

“jeonghan” you sighed out of breath, “jeonghan let me-”

“let you explain how you lied to me? how you basically lead me on this entire year? it’s fine yn i don’t care” he told you coldly.

“jeonghan please” you pleaded, “i didn’t want any of what happened back there”. he didn’t stop you so you continued, sighing “my parents and guwon’s parents have had some dream of getting me and him married, but i don’t want that!”

“so then tell them that yn! why’re you telling me?” jeonghan finally looked at you and you finally caught a glimpse of the hurt in his eyes, tears that gathered in his pretty eyes cascading down his face.

you stayed silent. you wanted to tell them but you knew what it meant. you’d be an outsider from your family, never acknowledged again. “jeonghan i can’t..”

jeonghan moved to stand up, harshly rubbing the tears from his eyes. he sniffed, the tip of his nose appearing slightly pink from the cold wind. “see that’s your problem yn. this is what it’s like with you and i can’t be bothered with it anymore. when you can finally take action and stop being so ashamed of me.. come find me”

“that exam sucked!” soonyoung cried, the younger fourth year boy, lee chan, cheering him up.

“oh come on soonyoung! it couldn’t have been that bad. besides! you’re cool you don’t need these stupid exams anyway” the younger boy continued to pat his back comfortingly.

“no it’s not chan! ‘m gonna fail my newts and then the ministry’s gonna laugh at me when i try getting a job!” soonyoung sobbed, clinging onto chan for dear life.

“soonyoung people are staring at us” nayeon urged soonyoung to stop, “besides why don’t you use this to study for the next one?”

soonyoung looked at nayeon as if she’d grown a second head, “are you daft? i’m thinking of ways to make sure my life isn’t over and you’re telling me about studying!”

nayeon slammed her book shut, using it hit soonyoung’s arm, making him groan and whine in pain. “maybe your life won’t be over if you actually study for the next one more!”

“oh yeah. you’ve got a point nayeon thanks” soonyoung smiled, taking the book from her “i’ll use this to study thanks!” and that was all he said before he ran off, nayeon chasing after him.

you laughed at their antics, watching them for a few more seconds before turning back to your own study material.

the library was surprisingly empty today, you’d have thought more seventh years would be here studying but apparently not. you wished you could be a little relaxed like them, but you were currently stressed beyond reason about the exam tomorrow.

the exam today wasn’t nearly as bad as soonyoung had said, and when you checked back on your notes after the exam was over, you were pleased to see most of your answers were related to what your notes had said. even that couldn’t give you complete peace of mind though, these exams were too unpredictable.

you looked over at the clock and saw it was getting late, your exam was pretty early tomorrow so it’s best you get a good night's sleep so that you don’t end up falling asleep on your test.

after you packed your things up and headed for the exit, something- or rather someone, caught your eye. you debated mentally for a few seconds on whether or not to approach him and before you knew it, your feet were dragging you to him.

“jeonghan” you sighed, smiling at him when he looked up at you, a little confused as to why you would approach him so suddenly. he wasn’t alone, he was with joshua and a few of his other slytherin friends. “good luck with the exam tomorrow. you too joshua!” you waved and left before getting a response from them, but heard a ‘thanks you too!’ from joshua when your back was turned.

walking back to your dorm, you lingered a little longer, observing the walls and infrastructure to set in stone in your mind. it was painful to think about but you weren’t going to be here much longer unfortunately.

while you were lost in your thoughts, you found yourself ending up at the old astronomy tower. you hadn’t been here in two years.

the view was as gorgeous as ever, and the cool air grazed your cheeks so pleasantly. and it dried the tears quicker than you could wipe them.

the memories of the night two years ago were too painful to think about too much. you regretted it so much but still, you often thought about his words. “when you can finally take action and stop being so ashamed of me.. come find me”.

you sometimes wondered if that offer still stood. what if he’d grown tired of waiting? dating isn’t huge news in hogwarts so there was a chance he’d already moved on. your heart broke at the thought. you berated yourself for feeling like this. he was the one that got hurt, not you.

maybe you could fix things between the two of you. you were hopeful, but if you were to be honest with yourself it was all in vain. until you’d be able to stand up to your parents there was no use.

their obsession with keeping up their high status in the wizarding world wasn’t something that you could make disappear in a night.

you continued to look up at the stars, if they were going to be like this, was there even a point in continuing to be a part of their false idea of a family. you were smart enough to get a well paying job, so even if they did abandon you, it’s not as if your life would be over. and you were certain your friends were much more loyal to you than your family, so it’s not as if they’d let you rot slowly away while living with regret.

if only you had realised this back in fifth year you thought to yourself. you were fine with losing a family that was practically never yours, but losing jeonghan who only had love for you was the most stupid decision of your life.

you had decided that after your final day, and when all your classmates will part ways ready for the future, you’d find jeonghan and tell him everything.

——- ★

“how was the exam?” nayeon smiled nervously at you. it was easy to tell she was happy but she was being careful in case it wasn’t the case for you.

you sighed, making yourself look as sad as possible before giggling at her worried expression, “it was amazing!”

“what-? you had me worried!” she whined, pushing you lightly and then pulled you into a hug. from the corner of her eye she saw soonyoung and immediately turned to him, “how was it?”

“so much better than yesterday! i owe it to you nayeon i think i would’ve failed if you didn’t force me to study” he high-fived her. “cheol how’d you find it?”

“they were all pretty great for me soonyoung, i didn’t wait until the last minute like some idiot” seungcheol smirked when soonyoung started to sputter in offence.

you laughed again, but your mind was still distant from everything happening in front of you. looking around, you spotted where the slytherin’s were, jeonghan laughing with joshua’s arm around him. you had to wait until he was alone and it was probably going to have to be after dinner.

you decided to finish up on packing instead, you’d all be heading out tomorrow and getting your results in the mail after a few days.

as you emptied out the last of your things you noticed something. a small, thin silver bracelet. jeonghan had given it to you on your guys’ third date and you’d kept it ever since. you wore it everyday while you were together but wearing it after that night was too painful. you let out a breath you’d been holding in, slipping the bracelet on so it sat pretty on your wrist.

you couldn’t eat much at dinner, your eyes kept turning to where jeonghan sat, hoping he’d get the signals you were sending.

you thought maybe he did when he left earlier than his friends. thinking this was your chance, you waited a minute or two to head in the same direction, trying to be as discreet as possible. you continued to follow where he was heading, confused when he walked to the astronomy tower.

“how long are you going to just keep following me?” jeonghan muttered annoyed, turning around to stare you in the eyes when you wouldn’t respond. his expression was saying ‘go on’.

“i wanted to talk to you-”

before you could finish, jeonghan laughed bitterly. “this is a familiar scene isn’t it. the same astronomy tower and you’re saying the same thing”

“han please just-”

“don’t call me that” he spat bitterly, cutting you off. “the only thing that changed is that we finally feel the same”

you looked at him confused for a few seconds, ‘what the hell was he talking about?’

“two years ago, i loved you. so, so much. but you didn’t love me back, we didn’t feel the same. but now we do. you hate me like you did back then, and i hate you too. isn’t it just hilarious how the world works”

you couldn’t speak. ‘i hate you too’ the words echoed in your mind. you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t true, you never hated him and you never could hate him. that even today you still love him. but the words died in your throat to make space for the lump forming in it. “jeonghan-”

“yn” he turned back to look at you, “don’t try to find me anymore”.

it wasn’t fair. the first time he had called you by your name in two years and it was to tell you that he never wanted to see you again.

he didn’t care about you. his offer didn’t mean anything, he didn’t want you to find him.

it wasn’t fair because you cared about him, to you that offer was a last hope, you had already found your soulmate.

but he didn’t care. he saw the tears in your eyes and scoffed, walking away from you and not even looking back once.

sniffing harshly, you bitterly wiped your tears, deciding to retreat for your dorm for the rest of the night, waiting for the trains to take you away the next morning. away from hogwarts, away from life as you know it, and away from a life with jeonghan.

“lumos” jeonghan gripped his wand loosely, having just shot up from the sound of someone in his house.

“jeonghan! happy birthday!” jeonghan winced at his friend’s loudness, groaning as he rubbed the sleep from his eye. looking over at the bedside table, he saw the clock read 00:03.

“what the hell are you doing in my house at midnight?” jeonghan looked at his friend unimpressed, but any threatening looking act he was trying to put on was undone by his messy bed head.

“wishing you a happy birthday!” he motioned to the balloons to which jeonghan rolled his eyes. “oh come on, it’s not everyday your best friend turns 25 is it? here make a wish”

joshua brought a small cupcake with a single candle lit to jeonghan, and he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a smile creeping onto his face at his friend’s efforts. he blew out the candle, giving a hug to his friend. “thanks shua”

joshua smiled brightly, “your welcome, what’d you wish for by the way? because if i were to make a suggestion i’d tell you to wish for a girlfriend because-”

“you’re starting to sound like my mother, you know?” jeonghan whined, taking a lick of the cupcake’s frosting.

“look i’m sorry! but usually this type of thing would be done by somebody’s partner- not t eir best friend” joshua reasoned, taking a seat on jeonghan’s bed.

“well it’s not exactly like i asked you to do all this” jeonghan mumbled under his breath, “not that i don’t appreciate it of course!” he quickly added on seeing the look joshua always has when he’s mad. and an angry joshua was not something jeonghan wanted to deal with at 12am.

“whatever. have you got work in the morning?” joshua took a cupcake for himself from the box of a dozen.

“yeah, someone from a different department’s transferring to ours. i’ve got to introduce them to the team and sort of like- mentor them i guess. well it’s more like just showing them the ropes but you get the idea. anyway i’ve got to do that for a week”

“aren’t you the head of the department?” joshua looked at him confused.

jeonghan finished off his cupcake, throwing the paper into the bin near his door. “i am, but i thought i’d just introduce them. we don’t get new people often-”

“because you people have some crazy elite department-”

“we don’t get new people so i thought i’d be nice and introduce them myself”

joshua stared at his friend for a few seconds. “the minister told you to do it didn’t he?” he smirked.

jeonghan’s eyes widened, ‘how the hell did joshua see through him?’ “look whatever! maybe choi seungcheol was on my ass about it a little more than usual for some reason but i don’t care! now goodnight!”

joshua laughed at his friend before deciding to head to the guest room for the night, he still had to get everything for jeonghan’s party set for later. hopefully one of his surprises wouldn’t completely fall through.

——- ★

“so you’re transferring next week?” nayeon asked you while she took a sip of her drink. the both of you were currently at your friend soonyoung’s quidditch match.

“that’s what cheol told me yeah” you kept an eye on the game, trying to follow soonyoung but it was hard considering he was the seaker so he constantly moved from one side of the field to the other in mere seconds.

“that’s great!” nayeon smiled before it dropped seeing the dejected look on your face, “isn’t it?”

“it is! it’s just- for some reason they’re making the head of the department stay with me for my first week” you rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly.

nayeon frowned confused, “that’s weird. did you ask cheol about that?”

when you opened your mouth to speak you were cut off by a bludger almost hitting right to the side of the bench where you were sat. before it could connect however, the referee made quick work of whipping out his wand to divert it back to the middle of the field.

you breathed heavily, “that was a close one! thank you!” you called out to the referee, “but uh anyway yeah the transfer. i didn’t want to bother cheol with asking him why the head’s sticking with me this week. it’s already amazing he’s putting the transfer through”

nayeon nodded, looking away from you to look at the match again. currently, soonyoung and the opposing team’s seaker were neck and neck, fingertips grasping for the snitch. both you and nayeon shouted cheers for soonyoung and his team, the cheers getting louder as soonyoung got closer.

after a tense chase, soonyoung finally managed to grab the snitch, using his broom to fly through the crowds, waving at the two of you when he spotted where your seats were.

“just through that lift and you’ll be right there lovely” the old lady at the receptionist smiled at you.

you nodded your head and thanked her before going to where she pointed out. the nerves were secretly eating you up.

you checked the small mirror in the elevator to help you freshen yourself up. you’ve had new jobs before, and nerves never hit you on your first day. but the fact that you’ll have to immediately jump into having your boss practically watching your every move and breathing down your neck. ‘get a grip you were a gryffindor for a reason’ you mentally motivated yourself.

the elevator made a sound indicating you were here causing you to take one last look and make sure you looked alright.

the owl you received told you that you’d have to meet the head in his office. you looked around for it, but couldn’t really spot it what with everyone walking around. it must’ve been break time you supposed.

“hi!” you said to one of the workers you spotted near the coffee machine, he returned your smile. you checked his name tag and saw his name was hansol. “i just transferred here and i was told to meet with the head at his office. could you just point where it is?”

he nodded, taking the last sip before throwing the paper cup into the bin. “sure, follow me. it’s a bit far i’m not going to lie”

suddenly you felt bad about making the poor guy use his break to take you to this office, you could’ve just looked around until you found it.

“so what’s your name?” hansol turned to you. “there was a mental situation with the owls and we never ended up getting the file with your information, just the news that there was a transfer”

you blinked at him. a situation with the owls? “oh that’s weird. well i’m yn” you held out your hand for him to shake and he returned it with his own introduction and a nice to meet you.

the both of you continued to walk until you reached a large bookshelf covering an entire wall. you saw vernon reach for wand before reciting an ‘alohomora’ under his breath.

you watched as the book shelf parted vertically in the middle, stepping back cautiously. it revealed another door, and hansol told you that all you needed to do was knock and wait for him to answer.

“by the way it’s his birthday today, so if you mention that later it’ll get him in a good mood” that was the last thing hansol told you before leaving.

his birthday was today? you quickly decided to make a note of it after knocking on the door, october 3rd.. who else’s birthday was on october 3rd?

you went through a mental list of whoever you’ve been close to, none of their birthdays being october 3rd? who the hell was it?

your thoughts were cute off by the door swinging open, your new boss standing right at the frame. oh, that’s who you were thinking of.

“good afternoon, i’m the head of this department my names yoon jeonghan,” he still hadn’t looked up at you, “if you don’t mind could you just tell me your name, you might’ve heard the issue with the owls-” he finally looked up, the color draining from his face.

“i’m ln yn” you held your hand out for him to shake, “i look forward to working here”

you weren’t honestly expecting jeonghan to return the handshake, but surprisingly he did. the initial shock hadn’t run out yet, he still really couldn’t believe you were here.

slowly, an awkward atmosphere encased the two of you. you cleared your throat, “uh, happy birthday! hansol told me..” you trailed off at the end.

you looked up at him and all of a sudden you were 16 again, unable to decipher what the slytherin was feeling. you knew for sure he couldn’t be happy about this entire thing though.

despite your thoughts, jeonghan had actually plastered a smile on his face. “thank you. come inside and we’ll discuss what the following week’ll be like”

you nodded before following him into the office, closing the door behind you. jeonghan motioned for you to sit on the chair opposite from his behind the desk.

when you sat down the nerves hit you again. all of a sudden all you thought about the last time you saw jeonghan, what he said to you. to not look for him anymore.

you started to play with the bracelet on your wrist, and you mentally facepalmed at how it was the one jeonghan had given you all those years ago.

to be fair, it was a beautiful bracelet, and it just so happened to be the one you reached for randomly this morning.

“so as you might already know, i’ve been told to show you the ropes this week. i’m not entirely sure why, it obviously can’t be great to have to get right to work with your new boss watching you, but regardless that’s what minister choi has asked for” jeonghan sighed, checking through a file.

your brows furrowed at the last sentence, ‘seungcheol asked him to?’ weird. it’s not like he knew about you and jeonghan.

“what we’re going to be doing for today is just getting you settled in. i’ll show you around, tell you what it is we do here and why and answer any questions you might have” he said it all so professionally and you wondered why you couldn’t do the same. how was he being so normal about this?

“so before we start, any questions?” he looked up from the file and straight at you.

your eyebrows raised for a second in surprise, “not yet no, thank you”

jeonghan nodded before standing up, “we’ll get started on that tour now. follow me please” he held the door open for you, shutting it behind you before motioning for you to follow him.

after about an hour you were done with the tour and meeting everyone. you could tell why this was branded as a more ‘elite’ department.

“your office isn’t completely done yet so you hang around in here until the end of the week” jeonghan said, pointing toward his office, his other hand in his pocket.

he lead you both back into the office, sitting at his desk before rubbing his face in his hands and stifling a yawn. he looked up and saw you standing awkwardly a couple of steps from the door. and you might’ve been going crazy but you swear there was a smile pulling at his lips.

“yn, you can come sit, it’s fine” he said softly, using his wand to bring the work that needed to be done for today.

you carefully watched what he was doing when you were sat, taking mental notes as to how he does it so you wouldn’t get ridiculed for something in a week or two.

your attention started to drift after a few minutes it happened to end up focusing on jeonghan’s hand. you saw he didn’t have any ring on meaning he definitely wasn’t married. maybe he was dating someone- wait why do you even care? the two of you broke each other's heart years ago and are only talking now because of a coincidence of working together.

“so how have you been?” jeonghan asked you catching you off guard. he looked at you, shooting you a look that said he was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.

“i’ve uh- i’ve been good” you smiled awkwardly, “after school finished it's just been work, you know? probably been the same for you” you laughed awkwardly.

he smiled himself nodding in agreement, “yeah it’s been a little tiresome i can’t lie. but i haven’t really taken a chance to have a break. even now i haven’t even had time to meet new people, that’s why i’m stuck with shua” he laughed at the end and you hated how warm it made you feel. you always loved the sound of his laugh.

you hummed, agreeing to what he was saying. truth be told you never really bothered too much about making new friends after hogwarts, you had the few people that you loved and cared for and they were enough.

you’ve obviously met new people along the way but there was no new relationship that stuck out to you.

“how is everyone else anyway? obviously i already know how minister choi is” jeonghan chuckled, voice breathy, “but how about everyone else? i’ve heard about soonyoung joining a quidditch team”

“yeah he did! right now nayeon’s working at a place in diagon alley to do with herbology, but she’s said she wanted to try applying to be a herbology teacher for hogwarts”

“that’s great” jeonghan said in awe, “shua’s the same more or less. his family’s got one of the biggest accounts at gringotts so he doesn’t have to worry about working for a long time”

you thought back for a second, joshua’s family had about the same social status in the wizarding world as your parents did, so frankly speaking it’d make sense why he didn’t bother working. you would do the same if it wasn’t for the fact that working kept your parents distracted from telling you that you needed to marry guwon any one of these days.

your mood turned sour remembering what your parents constantly remind you. their obsession with being acknowledged and having a high status always took a toll on how they actually were as parents. they were awful, and it didn’t help that you were thinking about all of this in front of jeonghan, the person you lost because you couldn’t stand up to your parents.

“yn? you alright?” jeonghan waved his hand in front of your face a few times, retreating his hand when you nodded.

“sorry just spaced out for a second” you rubbed your eyes.

jeonghan stared blankly at your wrist, there was no way right? “is that the same bracelet that..?” he trailed off at the end, but you knew exactly what he said.

you cleared your throat, “oh! yeah i think so?” you lied straight through your teeth, you knew it was the one he’d gotten you. “it was just with the rest of my stuff and it caught my eye, thought it looked nice”

jeonghan nodded, honestly a little.. dejected? there was no way, who were you kidding?

——- ★

“so anything fun happen at work today?” joshua asked jeonghan in the way to the birthday dinner.

jeonghan looked over at his friend, confused. he almost never asked about work.

“not really..” jeonghan looked at him confused. “well actually- you remember that girl yn ln from school? same year as us but she was in gryffindor?”

“you mean your ex?” joshua looked back at jeonghan.

“yeah” jeonghan muttered, “look whatever point is- she was the transfer to the department”

“really?” joshua said surprised, parking the car outside of the restaurant. “that’s random”

“that’s what i thought” jeonghan mumbled, taking off his seatbelt and walking toward the restaurant with his friend.

the dinner was great, jeonghan enjoyed spending time with his friends. he couldn’t see as often these days, being the head of department didn’t give him much free time.

as he and his friends were getting ready to leave, jeonghan felt someone tap his shoulder to get his attention. he turned around to see a familiar face but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“jeonghan! it’s been a while” the man pulled him into a hug making jeonghan go a little stiff. the man pulled back to smile at jeonghan, frowning at how confused he looked. “it’s me.. moon guwon? you don’t remember me?”

“oh you” jeonghan muttered, rage growing in his body. “yeah i remember you. what do you want?”

guwon looked at the longer haired man for a few seconds, taken aback at his reaction to seeing him again.

“well uh, there’s an event on the 20th next month. the family organising it would like you to attend. you too, joshua” guwon plastered a smile at the two of them.

“sure, why not?” joshua sighed, “we’ll see you then guwon”

——- ★

“yn!” a voice called for you as you were about to step onto the elevator. you looked around and saw jeonghan catching up to you a few feet away.

you held the elevator open, giggling to yourself at how he was winded from just running over to the elevator.

jeonghan glared at you playfully, “you’re really laughing at your own boss?”

“my mistake, sir” you stifled another laugh.

“unbelievable” jeonghan scoffed, placing his hand on his chest to feign hurt. “and here i was thinking you were such a nice person”

“i don’t recall me doing anything particularly wrong” you said thoughtfully, placing your finger on your chin for good measure.

considering your last memory of each other from when you were teenagers was him saying he hated you and never wanted to see you again, he really did stick closely to you when you started working with him.

on your off days he was the first to notice. at first you excused it with the fact that you simply had to share on office together and he’d always been perceptive; but even after your office was finally ready, he still managed to always be with you.

he was so good at reading you and so keen on making sure you were alright, that hansol had to stifle a laugh every time he saw you and jeonghan flustered by the other’s actions.

“yn, sit with us” you heard your mother tell you as soon you stepped into your home. shrugging off your shoulder you internally screamed imagine what they’d be like while they were here.

you sat on the couch, not bothering to properly greet either of them. “what’s this about now?” you sighed, already annoyed.

“your mother and i will be hosting an event on the 20th next month, make sure you’re there” your father told you plainly.

“why? you lot never haven’t invited me to any of these events, why do you want me to come to this one all of a sudden?”

“stop talking back, yn” your mother muttered, her face irritated. “but if you really must know, the moon’s will be there. and they’ve been thinking, and so have we, that we might as well finally set your engagement with guwon in stone”

“it’ll be at a public event too, it’ll bring even more attention to us” your father smirked and you had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes. it was always about publicity with these people.

you tried not to dwell on it too much, but your heart dropped at how your parents wanted the engagement to be set in stone.

——- ★

“yn, are you alright?” jeonghan asked you one day from his seat at his desk.

he’d called you in because it seemed like there was a short evaluation that day at work, so everyone was brought to his office. it wasn’t anything serious, just a quick discussion on how everyone’s work was going and nobody was going to be fired from it.

“i’m alright, this job is great and-” you started to answer him smiling.

“no- sorry, i meant, are you alright? i’ve noticed you seem a little down these days..”

“oh” you breathed out, “yeah don’t worry about it i’m alright, just slept bad last night” you smiled to which he nodded and that was the end of it.

“you’re sure?” jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows before sighing. “look yn.. i care about you- because you’re my employee of course” he sputtered out.

“and you know we want this to be a positive environment so- look how about we just go out for lunch and it’ll distract you a little?”

“lunch?” you looked at him confused. it was cute to see him like this honestly, and it reminded you of how he was when you guys started dating but he was afraid you wouldn’t like how affectionate he was.

it’d probably only make you sadder tonight but you didn’t care. nodding while a smile easily melted onto your face, “i’d love to”

“you’re really good at sucking up to people you know” jeonghan snickered to his friend after a potential business partner left.

throughout the entire event, many businessmen approached joshua, telling him all about how he and his family’s business would prosper by creating ties with them. and it amused jeonghan to see his friend have to pretend to be interested and give them false promises that he’d look into their offers and get back to them. in reality he’d tell them when they contacted him in a few weeks that his family wasn’t interested and that’d be the end of it.

“nice to know you find this so funny” joshua yawned, taking another drink from the tray.

across the hall, you spotted jeonghan immediately. you’d spent the last few weeks getting to know each other again, so you looked forward to at least having his company tonight. the only two problems were that one: both of you refused to acknowledge your past together and two: you were slowly starting to fall for him again.

it wasn’t hard to. he was the same as he’d been when you fell for him the first time. always so mischievous on the surface but to the very few people who could scratch that surface, he was one of the most kind hearted people you’d ever seen.

you were afraid you knew where this was going to go. if you hadn’t fallen in love with jeonghan again, you suppose you could have eventually stopped despising a life with guwon, but now that you’ve spent even a second with jeonghan, you know you’d never be able to accept this life you were going to be forced to live with guwon.

against your better judgments, you let your feet walk you over to jeonghan, smiling brightly at him when he saw you. “jeonghan, joshua! how are you both?”

“yn, hi, it’s been a while” joshua smiled back at you. he looked between you and jeonghan for a few seconds before chugging the rest of his drink, “i’m going to head to the bathroom, you guys have fun without me” he patted jeonghan on the back before he left.

“you didn’t tell me this event was yours?” jeonghan chuckled, accusing you playfully.

“you didn’t tell me you’d be coming!” you matched his playful energy. you observed him for a few more seconds and could tell he was out of energy. “are you alright?”

“hm? yeah” he hummed, “i don’t really like really social events much, lose energy at them far too quick” he laughed lightly.

“why don’t you follow me to that table at the balcony then? it’ll give you a break from everything else” you tried to persuade him.

“trying to get me away from everyone, are you?” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows but following you up on your offer regardless.

the view from the balcony was gorgeous, but part of you felt sick at how familiar it all felt, especially with him of all people. you shook your head, continuing to admire the view while trying to bite back the memories.

you felt something grasp at your hand, soft fingers wrapping around your own. you looked down at it to see jeonghan staring right back at you. and that was the last thing it took for tears to spill.

jeonghan panicked, cupping your face immediately and wiping away the tears, hushed whispers comforting you as he swayed you back and forth.

you couldn’t help the way you melted into his touch. you missed him too much. you didn’t fall in love with him again, you just never really fell out of love with him.

“you know..” jeonghan whispered, his chin pressed to the crown of your head, “that night i told you that i hated you..”

you felt like you were going to sob at him reminding you of that night before you nodded.

“i didn’t mean it. i could never hate you but i’d rather lie than live with the fact that you didn’t feel the same about me” he whispered.

“but i did feel the same about you hannie!” you cried, burying yourself deeper into his shoulder.

“then why didn’t you do something about it sooner yn?” his own voice cracked and he sniffled harshly, “you took so long and it was stupid of me but i couldn’t live like that anymore”

“no it wasn’t stupid of you” you hugged him tighter, “you were hurt and it was selfish of me to put you through all that”

the two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, crying and spilling your guts to each other. everything you both wanted to tell each other for last ten years spilling out now at once.

when you both pulled away, you stared at him for him a few more seconds. you brought your face closer to his, pressing your lips to his own. when he pulled away he smiled at you, the same smile that you’d loved for years. you took his hand in yours and looked at him seriously, “you were right about how i should stand up to my parents, so now i’m going to do something i should’ve done ages ago”

before you could take him to your parents, jeonghan stopped you. “what are you-”

“i already know you mean it now yn” he smiled at you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him, “i just needed to know you thought i was worth it. you don’t need to tell them now, im not in a rush. as long as i know you love me and that i love you, there’s no rush”

you nodded, tears welling up again and jeonghan cupped your cheeks again.

“my poor baby, what’s wrong?” he cooed at you.

“just missed you so much, glad we found each other again”

jeonghan smiled down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “yeah? so am i”

[seventeenficsformalereader]

Best Friends? ;Woohao

Wonwoo is in love with his best friend, M/N, and decides to distance himself from him to get rid of his feelings. Meanwhile he gets a new friend, Minghao, which Wonwoo introduces to M/N. What Wonwoo doesn't know, is that Minghao falls for M/N too.

Contains: male X male X male, mentions of family issues, homophobia, fighting (Wonwoo gets hurt slightly), some angst, bad words/cursing, underage drinking, alcohol, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, bullying (M/N gets bullied because it's funny),

Genre: Fluff, Angst

~Not requested but 100 follower special~

High School AU

A/N: Thank you so much again for 100 followers and maybe someday i'll get 200! Who knows? But i am so happy for this and i love you all so much for showing your love for my writing and this motivates me to keep writing! Thank you all and enjoy reading!

===============

Wonwoo POV:

I felt my lips curl up into a smile while i was looking through my gallery. There was a certain folder for photos that i have captured. But they aren't just some random photos that i have moved to the folder, no. They are photos of M/N. So many memories of him. I keep looking at the photo where we are at the beach. He was about to go swimming and the sun hit his skin perfectly, making it shine. His perfect body looking even more perfect with his smooth skin under the sunlight.

I wish he could've stayed longer at my place today, but he had to go study for the upcoming exam. I understand him though. His grades aren't that good and if he fails this test, he might actually have to be held back. I kept looking at the photos. I wish i could hold him right now. Have him next to me, cuddle while watching movies. It would be a dream come true. If only he was here with me still...

Which made me look at the time. 1.35 am... I better get some sleep.

~The next day at school~

M/N POV:

I was sitting in front of the door to our classroom, when i spotted Wonwoo. He was wearing his usual white headphones and he had a smile on his face as he was looking at his phone. I wondered about what he was smiling at, but brushed it off when he walked up to me. "Good morning" He said as he sat next to me and put his phone away. "Morning" I answered, but after that i remained silent. I was still a bit sleepy because i didn't get much sleep last night, but i was happy to hear that Wonwoo slept well. Or i believe he did, given his energetic looking eyes behind his glasses.

"Did you study for long last night? You look tired" Wonwoo asked, looking a bit worried. "I stopped studying at about 11 pm, but i couldn't go to sleep yet, because of my parents. They were fighting... again" I said the last part quietly, so other people around us wouldn't hear it. "I get it." He stayed quiet for a bit before speaking "Would you like to come over tonight? It's Friday so i thought you would want to" I thought about it for a moment. "Sounds fun, i'm in!" I said and smiled slightly. We walked into the classroom and sat down on our spots.

Unfortunately, when the teacher picked our seats, me and Wonwoo didn't get to sit next to each other, but i'm fine with sitting next to Joshua. He's from LA or something but he's a cool guy.

~After class~

I walked out of the classroom and started complaining to Wonwoo about everything. The previous class, the next class, the whole school.. But he seemed to be understanding and threw a couple comments and agreements here and there as i spoke. Wonwoo and I walked in the hallway towards our next class, but i suddenly felt a foot kicking the back of my knee and making me fall forward.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed in annoyance and when i turned around, i saw no one else but Lee Hae Kwan. (Just a random name, no one specific) He had been a little full of himself always and his way of thinking is that the whole world is above him, and he is the king. I think it's pretty childish, and i am not the only one who thinks that way, but he doesn't seem to get it.

He let out a laugh when i got annoyed and the rest of his "gang" laughed along. Wonwoo helped me up and looked at Hae Kwan angrily. "Oh is the little gay boy gonna cry? Maybe you can cry at your little boyfriend here" He and the rest laughed again. "This is seriously getting out of hand. You need to calm down." I said as i regained my balance, grabbing my back pack and putting it on again. "How dare you tell me what to do? If we weren't in school i would beat your ass!" He raised his voice a little "Are you afraid of getting detention?" Wonwoo questioned and shook his head slightly. "What? NO! I'm just concerned about your little boyfriend who might not be able to walk anymore after i snap his legs in half!" He said and walked away past us with the rest of the "gang", pushing me off from the way.

"I wonder when he realizes that he is the most childish person ever." I said quietly and then continued walking towards our class. "I'm sorry you have to go through that... But i'm right here for you, okay?" Wonwoo said comfortingly as he grabbed and squeezed my hand a little, before letting go. I smiled slightly at the nice and comforting action.

~Time skip, after school~

Wonwoo POV:

When i got home, i immediately ran upstairs to my room and started cleaning it up, so it wouldn't be so messy. I know that M/N doesn't mind it when my room is a mess, but i want it to look good for him, and maybe i want to seem like a clean person for him.

For him... Sounds funny when you think about it. I'm doing all this for him. I should not have these feelings for him, i shouldn't. We have been best friends since forever... I can't afford to lose him after everything we have gone through.

i stopped cleaning, and was about to grab my phone to text M/N not to come, but i heard the doorbell ring suddenly, so it's too late for that now.

I also heard my mother open the door for him, and i quickly rushed downstairs, so my mom wouldn't embarrass me somehow like she always does. As i got downstairs, i shooed my mom away. I greeted M/N and grabbed his arm, pulling him up to my room quickly. I heard him let out a laugh as i did so, and i suddenly felt embarrassed, but i didn't let go of his arm as i still kept pulling him upstairs. I let go of him when we made it to my room, and i closed the door.

"I have a surprise" M/N suddenly noted, and i couldn't help but be curious. "What is it?" I questioned as i sat down on the edge of my bed. He opened the plastic back he was holding, and it had 2 six packs of beer inside. "i was thinking that maybe we can go out tonight and have a little party of our own." He said as he set the plastic bag down. My mouth was wide open and my eyes wide. "Where did you get those?" I asked him and when i saw his little guilty face, i decided that he probably doesn't want to answer. "I mean it's Friday, we don't have school tomorrow.. Why not" I said and smile slightly. I was so happy to see him smile at my agreement, and it made me smile even more.

Eventually night came, and my parents went to bed at 11 pm. But now it was 1 am and we were ready to go out. "Make sure your phone is charged" M/N mentioned and i looked at the battery of my phone. "Yup! 78%" I said and he smile. "Great! Let's get going then." I opened the window of my room and slowly climbed out. M/N handed me my back pack, his own and the beers, before climbing out too.

He took his stuff and then slowly climbed off the roof. I followed after him and we both made it to the ground safely. "should we go to that one flowery garden where we aren't supposed to be allowed, but the owner doesn't give a fuck?" M/N asked me and i only nodded. I have never done anything like this. It was new to me, but i enjoyed the thrill of all this. The feeling of getting caught was present at all times, but i felt good.

We eventually got to the garden and we climbed over the locked gates and sat on the middle of it. M/N pulled out two beers from the bag, handing me one and taking one for himself. He opened it immediately, but i hesitated. M/N looked at me concerned. "Never drank beer before?" He asked and i nodded slightly. He chuckled.

"Go on then. Try it, it's good!" He said as he kept drinking it. I opened the can and too a sip and my face twisted to confusion and disgust at the same time "what do you think?" M/N asked and had a slight smirk on his face. "It's.. weird. I have never tasted anything like this before, but i guess it's drinkable." I said and M/N laughed slightly.

"I'm glad you at least tasted. If you don't want to drink it, it's fine." HE said as a reminder, but i shook my head. "It's okay, i can drink it." I answered and sipped on the beer again.

~Time skip~

It was currently 4 am? 5 am? I wasn't sure about it. My phone battery had died and so has M/N's personal battery. He had his head rested on my lap as he was scrolling through his phone. We were sitting in a park on the grass and more and more people started to pass by. There were some people who were walking their dogs, running, on a walk or jogging.

I looked down and saw M/N slowly put his phone down and he looked at me. I couldn't help but smile when he stared up at me. I know i shouldn't be feeling this way, but he looked so handsome when the morning sun hit his face in a perfect angle, making his smooth skin look more beautiful than ever. He slowly lifted his head and sat up, stretching his limbs. He had drank at least 8 beers during the night. I, myself, had 3, so i wasn't that drunk. But M/N was, and still were. He opened the last beer and was about to drink it, but i stopped him. "Maybe you have had enough. And there are some people who might know that you are underage and might call the cops on us or something." I said as i snatched the beer from him and pouring it on the grass, emptying the can and putting it back inside the plastic bag. "Fine, whatever." He mumbled as he stood up, taking a hold of a nearby tree so his balance would stay.

I got up too and then helped him walk to a bench in the park. We sat down on it and he let out a huff. "Tonight was fun, even if i don't remember some parts from it" M/N said and chuckled slightly after. "Yeah, it sure was. Maybe we should head back to my place. My parents will probably wonder where i am if they see i'm not in my room. And my phone battery died so we have to go."

"Will you get me something to eat from the store before we go back?" M/N asked and smiled slightly at me. "sure, let's go" I grabbed his shoulder with my other hand and i took a hold of his hand with my other as i helped him stay balanced. He could still walk, but it would look pretty weird if he did try to actually. We managed to get to the small store in the corner of the street, and walked inside.

I immediately took a bottle of water. I saw M/N take some chips and a chocolate bar. He walked to me and placed the items in my hand. "Could you please pay? I don't have my wallet" He asked and looked up at me. I couldn't say no to him, even if i wanted to, which i didn't. I would do anything he ever asks of me. I really gotta get myself together. I can't love him, it's wrong.

We went to the cash register and i paid for the stuff. "Is your friend alright?" The cashier asked and i turned to look at M/N, who was staring at the small toys and laughing at them. "Uhh.. he probably just needs some sleep." I answered and grabbed the stuff, then M/N and walked out of the store.

We got back to my place and i somehow managed to get a drunk person to the roof and inside my room through the window, without him falling.

M/N immediately laid on my bed and closed his eyes. "Ugh it's so soft!" He said as he hugged one of my pillows.I let out a chuckle and gave him the bottle of water. "Here, drink this. You need it" I said and he sat up and drank some of the water that i bought. "Mm it tastes so good!" He said happily and he set the bottle on the nightstand before laying down and closing his eyes. "Good night" I said as i turned around on my chair to look at the PC. I hear a humming sound from behind me, and then i start playing.

~Time skip to Monday again~

M/N POV:

I was running on the streets, quicker than i even knew i could. I had a reason for this. Today at school, Wonwoo wasn't being his usual self. He was more distant. He looked really uncomfortable and uneasy whenever i tried to talk to him. Every time i tried to talk to him, he didn't even react. He was just on his phone, pretending to ignore me. I wonder if he's mad at me for the drinking... no he can't be. I never pressured him to drink.. I need to know what's going on. But not now. The reason i am running is-

"WHOA!" i was pulled into an alleyway. "You really think you can run away from us?" Hae Kwan said and one of his gang members held me in place. I stayed silent, thinking that maybe they won't beat me to death if i just stayed quiet. Hae Kwan walked towards me and grabbed my chin. "I asked a question." He stated and let go of my chin before taking a step back. "Fuck off." I tried to stop myself from saying anything, but failed miserably. "Oh? The little fairy boy has some nerve doesn't he?" I wanted to attack him. Punch him, kick him, make him suffer in the most horrible way possible. If only i wasn't being held in place by two people, then i would do it.

Hae Kwan let out a laugh, then stepped out of the way and nodded. One of his "peasants" waked closer to me and punched my stomach hard. I let out a breathy groan and the two people who previously held me let me go and i fell to the ground, holding my stomach in pain. The person who kicked me lifted my head by my hair and kicked me in the face. I felt my nose start to bleed and Hae Kwan walked to me and grabbed my hair too before harshly slamming my head against the ground and then kicking my stomach again. I felt like i couldn't breathe and i held my stomach and nose in pain.

"HEY!" Hae Kwan and the others heard someone and they decided to run off, not wanting anyone to know it was them. The said person ran up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Wonwoo?" I asked and i lifted my bloody face to look up at him. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry that i wasn't here when you needed it! I'm so so sorry!" He apologized many ties but i shushed him. "It's not your fault. And i'm sorry for anything i did! I felt like you were mad at me for something because you were so distant in school today. But i actually would understand why you are mad-" "I'm not mad at you, okay?" I looked at him and he helped me up. "Thanks" I said and saw some movement and turned to look at the person who was standing there. "Oh right! This is Minghao. I met him after you left my place. My mom told me to go to the store to buy some stuff and we bumped into each other accidentally and then started talking and- you know what, i don't think you care" Wonwoo said and let out a laugh.

"Hey! I'm M/N. Nice to meet you!" I reached my hand out for Minghao to grab it. He shyly took my hand in his and shook it. "Nice to meet you too." He said and put his hand back in his pocket.

Minghao POV:

When Wonwoo introduced M/N to me, i couldn't help but feel my heart flutter. His hair looking so clean and soft, and his smooth skin looking perfect in the sunlight. I wanted to smile at the sight of him, but i held back. I couldn't help but stare at him. Is it even possible for someone to look that hot or am i dreaming? I swear i have never seen anyone like him. Someone who is so perfect in every way and- My thoughts were stopped when he gestured for me to shake his hand. "Hey! I'm M/N. Nice to meet you!" My cheeks turned a slight color of pink after hearing his voice, but i quickly composed myself and shook his hand.

M/N POV:

The rest of the school week went pretty fast. Me, Minghao and Wonwoo became great friends and we already had a couple inside jokes among the three of us. It was Saturday currently, and we were all at my house, because my parents were out for the whole weekend. They told me not to have any friends over, but i never listen to them anyway.

We were all chilling in the living room, listening to some music and talking now and then, but most of the time we were on our phones. Suddenly Minghao got an idea. "Should we go out? Like just hand around and do something? Maybe we can get some spray cans and spray some walls!" He said excitedly, and i lifted my head from the couch cushion. "That sounds great!" I answered almost immediately, but i saw Wonwoo hesitating. "But it's illegal. We could get in some serious trouble for it." Wonwoo said, a tiny concern evident on his quiet voice. "It's only illegal if we get caught" Minghao said and got up. "I think we have some spray cans in our garage. Let me go find them real quick." I got up and started to walk to our garage, but Minghao stopped me "I'll go with you!" He said and i nodded.

Minghao POV:

Me and M/N walked into the garage to find some spray paint cans and i couldn't help but stare at his back when he walked in front of me. I wanted to grab his hips, pull him close to me and kiss his neck. I was fighting the urge to do it actually. We got to the garage and started searching for the spray paint cans.

I couldn't help but stare at M/N as he was searching. His body looked so good even when he was wearing over sized clothes. His face looked so handsome and pretty at the same time. I couldn't hold back my urges anymore. I walked up to him and..

M/N POV:

I was so focused on finding the cans that i didn't notice Minghao walking up to me. I felt him wrap him hands around my waist and pull me close to him. My eyes widened and i almost jolted away, but he kept me close. I felt like running away, but i didn't know how to. Running has been everything i have ever done and now would have been the moment.. but for some reason i couldn't do it. He leaned close to my ear and whispered "Let's stay like this for a while, please?" I felt my cheeks flush and felt him turn me around so i was facing him. "Your face is red, you seem to enjoy this" Minghao said with a slight giggle. My face turned even more red and i looked away in slight embarrassment. I saw from the corner of my eye, that Minghao was staring at my lips. I started to panic from the inside when i saw it and i slightly pulled away.

"Maybe we should go back... Wonwoo must be waiting for us" i whispered quietly and not waiting for a response as i walked out of the garage and back to the living room where Wonwoo was waiting. "What took you so long?" He questioned and looked at me and then Minghao who walked in after me. "Guess we lost track of time trying to find them..." i said awkwardly and sat back down.

"We didn't find them. Maybe we should just go to the movies or something." Minghao said and avoided eye contact with me. He must feel guilty for what he did just a few moments back. Wonwoo nodded and i agreed too. So we decided to go to the movies then.

~Time skip~

After some movie we had watched in the movie theater we were walking back to my place, all three of us. I, for some reason, was walking between the two taller boys and i couldn't help but have a slight gay panic. I was talking about the movie when suddenly Minghao interrupted me. "I need to use the bathroom, is there any nearby?" He asked and Wonwoo pointed at the public bathroom stall nearby. "Oh god no, not the public one" I said and punched Wonwoos arm playfully. "There is a way better one in there" I pointed at the store that was at the corner of the street. "Isn't that the store where we went when you were drunk?" Wonwoo asked and i smile. "Yup! The bathroom is the best in there" I said and Minghao nodded and walked in the store.

"Hey M/N" Wonwoo said and i turned around to look at him. "What is it?" I questioned and looked at the taller boy in front of me.

Wonwoo POV:

There is something very important i have to tell you.." I said hesitantly and when i saw M/N nod, i took it as a sign to tell him. "I don't want to ruin anything that we have between us. I know that we have been best friends since forever, but i can't help but feel like i want to be more than friends with you. I always feel more happy when i'm with you and you make me feel like the happiest person on earth. I know i shouldn't feel like this because i might lose you for this, but i needed to tell you." I took a deep breath after i was done and i waited for any kind of reaction from him. I stood awkwardly under the gaze of the shorter male and i felt myself grow more nervous when he didn't respond. "Wonwoo.." M/N said suddenly and i looked straight at him.

"yes?" "You do know that we can't go back to what we were now that you told this, right?" I nodded slightly and looked away. "I know. But i can't live with the fact that you don't know about my true feelings"

M/N POV:

Wonwoo looked somewhat guilty and I heard Minghao approach us again and that's when i remembered what happened with Minghao earlier.

"This can't be happening... This can't be true" I think to myself and i start to panic again, not too much but slightly. "Is everything okay in here?" Minghao questioned and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I blinked a couple times before pushing Minghao away.

"I need.. some time alone. To process things.. I'm sorry" I said and i speed walked away from the two boys as fast as i could.

Minghao POV:

Me and Wonwoo watched as M/N almost ran away from us. He was more speed walking but he left fast. I turned to look at Wonwoo who looked guilty "What did you say to him?" I asked and looked at the direction M/N went and then back at Wonwoo "I told him about my feelings towards him.. I knew i shouldn't have done it. We have been best friends for a long time and i except that everything will go well if i tell him? God i'm so stupid." Wonwoo explained and looked down embarrassed, sad and guilty. "You.. like him too?"

Wonwoo lifted his gaze from the ground and looked at me "Too? What do you mean? You don't.. do you?" Wonwoo looked a bit shocked, but i nodded slightly. "I do.. i somewhat told him when we were in the garage looking for the spray paints.." I said quietly and looked away, still feeling bad about what i did then.

"So if we both like him.. and we told him at the same day.. He must feel overwhelmed and anxious. We should apologize" Wonwoo said and i nodded. "Yeah, we should. Let's go back to his place and talk to him." I said and so me and Wonwoo went to M/Ns place.

Wonwoo POV:

Me and Minghao arrived at the house and knocked on the door. We waited a couple minutes, but there was no answer. I knocked on the door again but we still got no answer. Minghao decided to just open the door and walk in and I hesitated, but followed after him.

We walked upstairs to M/Ns room. I went first and Minghao followed. I knocked on his room door before opening it slightly and walking in "M/N? Can we talk?" I asked softly as me and Minghao walked deeper into the room.

Minghao pointed at the bed and i looked over there and saw M/N laying there, back facing us. I sighed and walked closer to him. "Hey... We just want to talk, okay?" I asked and he turned around and looked at me.

"What do you want?" He said somewhat annoyed yet sadly. "We came to apologize." Minghao started, then looked at me and waited for me to continue. I nodded and turned to look back at M/N. "We are sorry for making you feel like that. You must feel overwhelmed from the fact that we both told you about our feelings at the same day, and we didn't even know that we both liked you.." I explained to M/N and i saw him nodding at my words.

"If i'm honest, i am a bit afraid.. Not about the fact that i don't know which one to choose but.."

M/N paused and looked away and I furrowed my eyebrows. "You can tell us" Minghao said and took a step closer. "I can't choose. I think i.. like you both. I can't choose between you two." M/N said and avoided eye contact with us.

My jaw dropped slightly and Minghaos eyes widened. "You- You like-" "Us both?" Minghao finished my sentence and we both stared at the shorter male who is now in a sitting position on the bed. He nodded slightly.

"I don't know why. I don't know how but i do. I fell for you both and i don't know what to do.." M/N said and pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face in his hands "I'm sorry.." He said and i quickly sat next to him and hugged him. "You don't have to be sorry. We can work something out. I know we can" I said in a comforting tone and Minghao nodded. "We can make this into something. We can work it out." Minghao repeated and sat down on the bed too and hugged M/N from the other side.

"Really? You aren't mad at me for running away like that? And you think we can work it out?" M/N questioned and looked up at me and then Minghao. "I know we can" I said and smiled at him.

"I really do like you both.. it's impossible to choose between the two of you" M/N said and let out a laugh. Minghao grabbed his chin and turned his gaze to look at him. "Can i now do the thing i wanted to do earlier?" He asked and M/N smiled. "I wouldn't mind it-" Minghao connected their lips and I watched it for a moment before i turned M/Ns chin to my direction and kissed him too.

When i pulled away, I saw that he was bright red and looked somewhat embarrassed and very flustered.

Minghao chuckled and i smiled at M/N.

"Let's make this a good relationship. If we all agree on it, then we can make it work" I said and M/N and Minghao both agreed. "Thank you" M/N said and me and Minghao hugged him again.

===============

[glitterslittleuniverse]

Going Seventeen: Point of Omniscient Interfere Penalty

Imagine Haerim on the opposite team to the rest of the 95line. Our girl felt so betrayed when she saw the Hide and Seek episode she didn't speak to them for a WHOLE day. In the court room episode Seungcheol tried to get her on their side with his puppy eyes but Haerim resisted with "look Seungcheol, I'm sorry but I can never trust you guys again!" Which left all the members in histerics.

And so she showed no mercy in this episode, refusing to give stickers to her fellow 95ers. Haerim's revenge. She did however cave slightly for Jeonghan (did you notice he looked really tired in this episode) and gave him stickers when she asked him to make her food.

You can bet Hoshi got most of his stickers from Haerim. Cue Cheol whining, "mediator-nim, she's playing favourites!" And Wonwoo's like 'what do you want me to do?'

Sage was having too much fun in this episode, handing out stickers generously. She's way to soft for her members and they knew how to take advantage of that. Waiting on her hand and foot, seeing to her very wish, Sage is Seventeen's princess and this episode only proved it further.

But of cause she can't go without teasing the girls on the penalty team. "Hey Zora, Sunnie. I'll give you 10 stickers if you perform for me." She dragged them both the to karaoke and picked New Jeans' Hype Boy for them to sing. "You have to do the dance too." Zora obviously didn't know the dance very well while Sunnie was way to enthusiastic, needless to say their performance was very entertaining for the members. Afterwards Sage proceeded to give them 5 stickers each, which was met with protests from the two girls. "You said 10 stickers each!" "No I said 10 stickers between the two of you, 5 each." Zora called for "Mediator Oppa" and Wonwoo came over laughing to break up the squabble between the three girls. (Sage ended up giving them 10 each)

Speaking of, let's see what Zora and Sunnie did this episode. Zora filled her grape shirt pretty quickly, finishing 3rd behind Hoshi and Joshua. Collecting stickers was an easy task for her, she isn't Seventeen's fake Maknae for nothing. Really, she just had to look at Woozi and he'd give her a sticker. He's like "Kyungie come here. You look cute today, have a sticker." Her fellow 97liners were also easy targets, it seems they gave her stickers for simply breathing. Dk and Mingyu being so soft for her like "Kyungminie, a heart for a sticker." She'd then shower them with aegyo and they'd shower her with stickers.

In reality the members felt bad for her. Out of her team mates Zora was the most innocent and wasn't keen on cheating in the Hide and Seek episode. She was like "shouldn't we play fair. This doesn't feel right." "Come on Zora, where's your sense of fun." So she had no choice but to follow the members evil plans. She pleaded that she was innocent in the court room saying "I was a victim of peer pressure." Evidence was found that she had been a part of the crime by sending pictures to the members during the game. "because they told me too!" Poor Zora, an angel in a team of devils.

Meanwhile, Sunnie had way to much fun collecting stickers. True to her entertainer image she put on quite a show. After being dragged to karaoke by Sage she stayed there for a while. She grabbed her cap and placed it in the floor near the stage, grabbing the mic she announced. "Hello everyone. I'm Sunnie from Seventeen. I'll be your entertainment this evening." She gestured to her hat on the floor. "Please leave a tip if you enjoy my performance, I would be very happy." "Are you busking?" Laughted Woozi, who was sitting closest to the stage. This girl is too extra and had many of the members laughing with her over the top performance of Antifragile. "I hope Le Sserafim members don't see this." Is what Haerim said as she put some stickers in Sunnie's hat.

After a few songs she got tired of karaoke and set out to gather stickers in other ways. She participated in whatever Dino suggested like writing poems, doing skits and taking photos. When Mingyu said he wanted some of Jun's coffee only for Jun to say he was out, Sunnie jumped to her feet. "I'll get you some for 5 stickers!" "I'll give you 5 more stickers if you get me some too." Said DK. Before long she gathered enough stickers to fill her shirt finishing 4th.

At the end Vernon came out in his judge outfit to announce that they had served their punishment (except Seungcheol hadn't filled in all the grapes and had to stay behind to clean up, much to Haerim's satisfaction.)

(I couldn't sleep so I watched the recent Going Seventeen episodes again and decided to write up what the girls did in these episodes. I hope you enjoyed and maybe learned a little more about the girls. If you have any thoughts of your own please sent them into my inbox, I would be very happy to hear from you.)

[hhaechansmoless]

cindy lou who

pairing: lee haechan x reader ,, minghao x reader(????)

description: you and haechan might have ended long ago. he's now started a new chapter of his life with his best friend, and you're not sure if you can ever hate them for it.

genre: just angst hehe

tags: nonidol!au breaking up, joshua is reader's brother

w/c: approx 2k

a/n: it's my first time writing on tumblr bye im so sorry if this is SHITTY LOL

I saw you laughing in one of his pictures

“That, right there, is Addy.” You felt his peppermint breath on you ear, fuzzy because of the warmth that radiated from his hand on your back, the other pointing at the girl in a few feet away from you guys. 

“Holy shit, it’s getting a bit hard to breathe, isn’t it?” You laughed out when she turned in your direction, a sweet smile stretching on her red lips. Haechan shook his head, muttering under his breath that you two would become best friends and would start leaving him out. “She’s the girl who’s next to you in those grad pics, right?” You asked, excited at meeting a good childhood friend of his.

Adelaide, you found out a few moments later, was easily the prettiest woman you had laid your eyes on, long ebony hair that fell till her lower ribs, full red lips that hid a set of bunny teeth that you would later know she hated. You thought she was adorable. She had stayed by your side the whole night when Haechan left to catch up with the boys from his high school. You knew only Renjun, as he was the real threat to your relationship. Renjun pretended not to know, really, but Haechan would’ve dumped you for him if he was ever willing, you had joked to Addy as she rested her arm in the crook of your elbow, never having felt more at home with someone.

She’d introduced you to the family members and the neighbours that Haechan hadn’t yet reached before you guys met her. And a few hours later, when the Christmas party was in full swing in the living and dining rooms, with bustling relatives and excited children, you had wanted to excuse yourself, feeling a little suffocated in the house. You hadn’t expected Addy to join you, but she had. She’d brought you to the backyard where three worn out poles of wood held onto two swings and you two had sat side by side, staring at the stars above with the cinnamon whiskey that Addy had stolen from Haechan’s father’s collection for you two. 

“I’m glad he has you, you know,” She had told you, face upturned to the sky, a soft smile gracing her lips, “You make him really happy.”

“Did he tell you that?” You had joked, eyes not able leave her face.  She uses a glittery blush, you had dimly registered, eliciting a tipsy giggle from you. “No, not directly but I can see it,” Addy had turned to you then, grasping your cheeks before squishing them with one hand. “He talks about you soooo much,” She had sighed, “but you’re so cute, I totally get it.”

And in that moment, you clearly remember letting out a relieved sigh. You’d been worried that his best friend wouldn’t have liked you, that you’d have problems because you were dating him and these few hours with Adelaide had proved that she wasn’t the stereotypical best friend.  

You liked her. And you remembered wishing you’d be closer in the future. A future where you and Haechan were happy, with your loved ones by your side. A future where you two were still together, where you two would be together for many more years to come.

There's red and green everywhere, but l'm so blue Cindy Lou Who

One Christmas later, here you were. In your red wollen sweater that you brother, Joshua’s, wife had knit for you last Christmas, a year after the one at Haechan’s family house. You had spent that Christmas at your family’s and remembered the way Haechan’s eyes had gleamed with tears when she presented him with a matching sweater, claiming that he was family now. Your arms gripped tightly onto her cardigan as the tears painfully escaped your eyes, each sob wracking your body until you were left dry, breathing in through short hiccups. “I’m sorry,” You gasped, when Joshua crouched down to hand you a glass of water, mumbling something along the lines of breath, you’re going to choke, “I couldn’t bear to be at home today. You guys probably wanted to spend your first Christmas as newlyweds together, shit,” You wiped at your eyes with the hem of your sleeve, “I’m so sorry.”

You were going to blabber out another apology when your brother engulfed you in his arms, gently rocking back and forth on his knees as if you were a child. “It’s okay,” He murmured into your hair, “I know it hurts. It’s okay.” And that had been your last straw, your body beginning to shake as you cried your heart out, overwhelmed with love for your brother and his kind, sweet wife, your heart physically twisting and wrenching at the thought of Haechan. Pretty, funny, ever loving Haechan who wasn’t yours to call anymore.

“I don’t understand what went wrong.” Your head hung low that night, “I don’t understand why I let him go.”

“Sometimes…” Your sister-in-law cautiously started, “Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be, honey.  Think of it as the best for both of you. Maybe it was a sign that both of you could be happier… with different people.”

“How could I possibly be happier with someone else?” You whispered, pulling at the fluff between your hands from your sweater who’s twin was currently warming up the body of the man you were heartbroken over.

“I can’t do this, Addy,” Haechan cried into her shoulder, “I miss her. I belong with her.” 

Adelaide didn’t know what to say, her eyes tearing up as she rubbed Haechan’s back. She’d liked you too.

“It’s okay,” Addy gulped, “You’re going to be okay. We’re here for you Channie. You’ll be okay.” She pulled away holding him by the shoulders, fighting all that she felt for him, “If you still love her, you should go back. Talk.”

He just shook his head, “I can’t. I don’t think I made her happy.”

Addy hated herself for feeling a sliver of relief at that.

Scrolling five years back, I'm obsessed Breaking my heart, 'tis the season, I guess

Four years later, here you were again. Christmas time. 

Fucking hell, why is it always December?  Your hands shook as you typed in Haechan’s instagram handle.

Your heart dropped, breath snagging when you saw his latest post, a picture of intertwined hands with a Christmas tree in the background, a rock on her hand, a matching silver band on his. Adelaide’s instagram tagged with a simple red and green heart. You couldn’t help the red, hot tears that clouded your eyes. You hadn’t wanted to believe your ears when a mutual friend told you about them. You didn’t want to believe that he was over you, that he was living without you while you were barely getting by each day, slowly growing out of it before you were plunged into your memories of him, that you’d started realizing you’d spend the rest of your life stuck in it, struggling like a fly in honey.

You wanted to hate him. Hate her. 

But how could you? How could you, when she had been there for him when you were supposed to. How could you when she’d been so nice to you, so encouraging, always the first to help you two make up when you fought? How could you hate your Channie, your beloved, the man whom you still loved. The only man who had ever made you think of a house on a hill, with white picketfence and the future to come. How could you hate him when all he had been was good to you. 

You couldn’t despise them, no. But that couldn’t stop your heart from rapidly beating against your ribcage, a wild animal, deprived of the one person it wanted. 

You opened your gallery, hands flying to open the album that you knew had photos of you three, of you, of Haechan, and gorgeous, gorgeous Adelaide. It had been five years since you’d last seen her. Five years since you’d last run your hands over your — no, wait, not yours anymore— Channie’s moles, gently poking each one. Ursa Minor, you had pointed out.

A knock on your table brought you back to reality, looking up from your phone to the man looking down at you, concern written all over his features. If you had been in the right mindset, you would’ve registered that he was insanely handsome, but god forbid your eyes found any other man to be attractive. You had been ruined, you thought angrily. 

Fuck silly little Lee Haechan for everything that he’s done to make himself a permanent presence in my life!

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Minghao’s eyes scanned your body, gently gripping your elbow. He was supposed to be your date, you remembered. You were waiting for him, you date. Joshua had been ecstatic when you finally agreed to let him set you up with one of his friends. He had promised that Minghao was nice. And you trusted your brother. But maybe it was now that you were realizing that you weren’t ready for this yet, that you may never be ready for it.

“I’m sorry, I-” You got up, harshly wiping your eyes before sliding out the window booth, “I need to go.”

“It’s okay. Do you want me to-” You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence as you speed walked out of the cafe, hand jerking the door open and rushing to leave when you head first bumped into someone’s chest. You muttered a quick apology, running a hand through your hair before leaving when a hand gripped your shoulder.

“_____”? The breath was knocked out of you in the fraction of a second, eyes trailing up to see the face you’d been missing for all these years. Your eyes flitted to the woman next to him when you remembered he wasn't yours to look at anymore, a look of genuine but pleasant surprise on her face.

Addy shook her hand out of Haechan’s grip before gripping yours, her nose red with the cold but joy in her eyes, her ebony hair that you would forever admire tucked gently into her woollen cap. “How have you been? It’s been so long!”

A hand slid around your waist before you could reply. “Hey babe, who’s this?” Minghao tilted his head in question towards the couple, sending you the message to just play along. Haechan looked up at him with his signature grin, holding his hand out for Minghao to shake.

“I’m Haechan,” He introduced himself before looking over at Addy, “and this, right here, is Addy, my fiance.”

In that moment you couldn’t be more thankful for Minghao’s steady hand around you. A memory flashed in your head, of Addy telling you that Haechan looked at you like you hung up the stars in the sky. Your knees buckled slightly when you saw the way he looked at her now. 

Like she had dragged him back from the pits of hell to show him the sun.

The boy who I love who's now in love with you Cindy Lou Who

a/n: i might have an idea for a minghao fake dating au as a continuation of thissss should i do it ugh help not like anyone's going to come across this but if u do thanks for reading, do lemme know what u thought abt this !!!

[meiozis]

teehee its me

reading this again felt like meeting a dear friend after a while of not being able to catch up <33 but im writing this as im reading so lets gooo

Shakira waits for no one.

SO REAL shes the uniting force

y/n being a horse girl is something that can be so personal…

“Do you think he only listens to classical music? I think a Kim Petras song would kill him instantaneously.”

please 😭😭😭

everything about y/n’s inner monologue is so. like she gets it. also shes mad funny

DEATH BY A THOUSAND PAPERCUTS !! when i first read this line it infiltrated my brain and i have genuinely not been able to stop saying it ever since, like its literally part of my vocabulary now

Joshua seems to take no issue with that, gratefully. He takes a seat on the chaise at the foot of the bed. He’s got a copy of Anna Karenina under his arm, probably to weigh the pros and cons of cheating on you. You don’t blame him—in fact, maybe it would make your doomed marriage exciting enough to be tolerable.

i wish i could add a voice memo of the way i laughed out loud at this

He might be the only person in the world who takes “pea-sized” seriously as a measurement tool.

get his ass

Ten-year-old you would have cried and threatened arson if she knew this is how you would eventually be proposed to, but you have no choice.

and she would be so fucking right to do all that too

If romance wasn’t already dead, then it died here, today, in your prison cell bedroom.

i just feel like y/n gets me and i get her. like you know how sometimes it’s like ‘i would NOT do that’ when you’re reading x reader fics. but this time i feel like im reading my diary from an alternate universe where joshua hong stares at my ass while im putting lipstick on the way the entire family treats her like she’s disposable and just an asset in their life, not their literal child is using my last nerve as a jumping rope but in a way where it makes me wanna read faster and get to the point where she’s finally happy

God really seems to have wasted a perfect face on him.

another line thats entering my vocab after this

He’s just like anyone else, you tell yourself. You’re at the club. They’re playing Everytime We Touch by Cascada.

arguably the most romantic song of all time

i would love to imagine that the skimpy black dress that gets mentioned is just Diana’s revenge dress

"The perfect opportunity to show the world that their hottest bachelorette is a bachelorette no longer. Also, we invited Pitbull.”

STOP i actually screamed vfdkhbgfd

The car ride to the derby feels like your own personal Saw trap, if Jigsaw wore a ridiculous hat and was actually your mother.

i desperately need u to know that im in love w the way ur brain works but also… SCREAAMMM the fact that the derby scene actually made it into the fic!!!! im actually getting a little emotional ngl… also obsessed w the way the whole part is executed, i love watching them bumble through the whole thing in an incredibly endearing way

“Absolutely,” Joshua says, as if there is a gun held to his pretty head. “Among all the garbage and the girl next to me, I suppose nothing else really mattered.”

like come on this is everything to me. when will someone say this about me also Josh rapid firing horse puns is so dear to me

“Well, why can’t you?” you ask. “Minus the Beatles thing. Pick better music.”

the only reason no one likes her (in royal circles duh) is because shes always right

“Don’t give me any ideas,” he replies. Under the bluebird sky of late morning, lips upturned and eyes bright, Joshua may be a sight you could get used to. Someday. “Brought you a coffee. I can’t have you sucking off a bean—the reporters would go crazy.” 

your comedic timing is so impeccable i wish this was a book so i could scribble all over it and slap it on my knees when im laughing at one of ur jokes and im Serious

OKAY hold on i need to go to part 2 asap i’ll see u there :-)

title: royally screwed [m]

pairing: joshua x f!reader

wc: 30.8k in total; part 1: 15.4k, part 2: 15.4k summary: between remembering last night’s party and pleasing your unrelenting family, you think being a princess is hard enough. then you’re thrust into an arranged marriage to royal darling joshua hong—straight-laced, infuriatingly obedient, and everything you’re not. pretending to be the perfect couple? impossible.   notes: romcom + smut (part 2), modern royalty!au in which yn is the princess of cotria/joshua the prince of acros (both fictional), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, quarterlife crisis/coming of age, very very slow burn. lots of swearing, lots of alcohol, lots of feelings. very special thanks to @meiozis for all their help with worldbuilding and @wuahae for bearing with me through the endless drafts, scene changes, second guessing, horrible word choices, etc. you are the only reason this got done, and i love you to the moon and back <3 [read part 2 here!]

Here, in the dark, there is just you. 

The strobe lights press into your skin with all the brilliance of the sun, there's half a Modelo running down your leg, and you think you kissed the stranger behind you last week, but if you close your eyes, it's just you. No rules, no five second curtseys, no talk about the throne or whoever's ass happens to be keeping it warm at the moment. 

Here, you're nobody, and it's perfect. 

"I'm getting more champagne," Somi says, her voice careening over the music. "You sure Jihoon doesn't want any?" 

You glance back at him. He's flattened up against the back wall, holding your purse, like a raccoon caught going through the trash. This is one of the many trials he's forced to endure for your entertainment, but it's his job–not as your closest friend, but as your legally employed bodyguard. 

"No, he's on duty." 

"Right," she slurs. "Sometimes I forget you're a literal princess." 

If only it were that easy. Five drinks in and you think you can still feel your mother's vice grip on your arm and all the little white crescents of her french manicure. 

You love this song–at least, you think you do. You're too drunk to tell, but it doesn't matter. The dance floor is muggy, sardine-packed with one warm body after another, and it's heaven. The crowd moves, and you move with them. Shakira waits for no one. 

Somi must have secured another bottle of Cristal already. Soonyoung, your other partner-in-crime, hands you a flute and you take it, the glittery foam already bubbling over the lip. 

"Cheers." Out of his too-drunk mouth, it sounds like a new word altogether, but you bring your glass to his anyway. 

Tomorrow, you have a meeting with your parents. This, unlike all of your other involvements, is actually important, they said, and their voices had wound around you like a snare. 

When it gets late, Jihoon will sling your arm over his shoulders and haul you back to the palace, still tipsy and holding your stilettos to your chest like a shield. Tomorrow will come, and it's then when you'll have to try to be good. It's a useless, stupid affair, but you'll go through the motions anyway. 

But tonight, there is you and the music and the wonderful laughter of your friends, and you don't have to be anything at all. 

"Cheers," you tell Soonyoung, and you drink. 

--

There are four large topiaries in the palace garden: all lions. They stand tall in their planters, majestic and hairy with French lavender. Today you notice that the rightmost one's nose has been pruned off by accident, and he stands, snoutless, staring at his green brothers and sisters. 

You know this because this is the view from the study, and it has never changed. There is only one study in the east wing, and it is small and useless and the perfect room for your parents to sit you down and remind you that you do not, in fact, own a single thing about your own life. 

There is nothing new about this ritual. Even as a child, when you were more desperate to please, you could never be the right kind of daughter to your parents or princess to your country. Again and again, you landed yourself here, in trouble once more. 

So you stopped trying–you would find these four walls anyway, no matter what you did. Why not enjoy your Fridays instead?

By now, you’ve memorized the carvings on the armrest of the chair you’re in (a knobby column, then underneath, the whorl of a seashell). There are thirty-four terracotta stones on the way to the fountain, all spaced perfectly apart, sanded down to the millimeter. 

The scene remains unchanged. Your mother now stares down at you over the bridge of her nose, with that tight-lipped frown you've gotten so used to. Your father paces near the window, either wondering why you can't be softer, more pliable, like your older brother Jeonghan, or, alternatively, why one of the lions is missing a nose. Maybe both.

"Enjoy yourself yesterday?" your mother asks. 

"Yes," you reply, out of other answers.

"Wonderful. Then our early morning briefing with PR was good for something. You should be grateful last night's pictures won't make it out of the darkroom." 

Her voice, bitter and incisive, makes the hangover bubble up in your stomach. You and the tabloids weren't exactly on good terms, but it wasn't your fault so many people seemed to care about what you were wearing or who you were out with. 

"What did you want to meet about?" you ask, hoping to change the subject. 

You can't put your finger on it, but there's a cloying, heavy energy hanging on you. You feel as though you're on the precipice of something, although that could just be the consequences of all that Cristal ready to reintroduce themselves to your digestive system. 

Your mother clears her throat. 

"We have arranged for you to marry someone." 

And all at once, it seems as though all the air has been sucked out of the room. There's a sharp pain lodged somewhere between your chest, your stomach, and your unhappy liver. The larks sing emptily in the garden. 

"What?" Your voice sounds like it's unraveling somewhere in your throat. Quickly, frantically, you grasp at the faraway possibility that it can't possibly mean what you think it does. Marry? You can’t even remember the last time you thought of going on a second date with someone. Now you might actually throw up. 

"Prince Joshua, of the Hong family. The crown prince of–" 

"Acros. I know," you interrupt, the words jumping out of you in shock and anger. 

Of course you know who Joshua Hong is–Acros is a tiny, unremarkable country nestled into the border of your much bigger one, and Joshua their crown jewel. If you were the nation's problem, he was their darling. A bland thing to coo at when life got boring, the walking embodiment of a media training session. Smile and nod, smile and nod. He might as well be AI generated.

You wouldn't last a day with him. Not with your impatience, your opinions, or that loud mouth your parents always scold you for. Your mind swims with the mental image of the two of you on a gaudy parade float, doing that stupidly slow wave everyone seemed to insist on.

"Wonderful. So you'll pack a bag? The Hong family will be thrilled to meet you tomorrow," says your father.

"Why?" you ask. Your voice wobbles, treading over that childlike waver you never learned to control. "Is this to punish me?" 

"My dear, your brother will be ascending to the throne soon," your mother answers, looking you dead in the eyes. "It’s his face that needs to be on the front page, not you in another abomination of a swimsuit. The Hongs will keep enough of an eye on you.” 

She's right. She's always been right. Maybe not about the swimsuit, but you haven’t exactly been the PR princess your family needed you to be. If anything, you would think it made Jeonghan look better by comparison, but you know that your parents would prefer you to make appearances in something other than Deuxmoi’s Sunday Spotted. But the royal charade never fit you well either; it clings and sticks and bunches up at the seams like a cheap Halloween costume. 

"The Hongs thought their country would benefit from our money. It was an easy decision, really," your mother finishes, as if that makes you feel any less like a silly, bikini-clad pawn in a game of chess you never asked to play. 

"Does Jeonghan know?" 

"He sees its purpose,” your father says simply, like that was all that mattered. “You will too, in due time.”

He nods solemnly, which is how he closes every conversation–just another turn of the silent knife. As your parents turn to leave, their silken garbs trail behind them like ink in still water. Business as always, especially with you. 

"Your brother will be coming home from his press tour this week," your mother says on her way out. "You mustn't ruin this for him. The car leaves for Acros in the morning." 

There's a mean, barbed feeling in your heart. You don't know whether to scream or to cry, so you do what your mother taught you to do. You sit, stilled by a feeling of hopelessness, and let yourself be emptied. 

--

When you were thirteen, you learned how to ride a horse. 

Not the impractical, side-saddle way drilled into you when you were a little girl, with your skirt billowing over the fender and catching in the stirrups, but how to really ride a horse. 

It was on a night much like tonight–indigo and starless. Your brother had climbed up the marble trellis, his teenage, noodle body a perfect fit for scaling the lattice, and threw a stone at your window, just like you had seen in the movies. Jeonghan was still young, then, rebellious and unchanged by the throne. 

It was him who laced up your riding boots, hoisted you on your first horse, and pressed the reins into your palms. You remember the unforgiving hold of the leather saddle, not yet broken in. You were so sore the next day, you were bed-bound–truly a punishment worse than death, if not for another reminder that everything you do ends up hurting you a little. 

"It's great," Jeonghan had told you, breathless and haloed by the moonlight. "You can just ride. nowhere to go and no one to answer to." 

You had spent the summer this way. Every night, you learned the sound of the forest at twilight, chasing Jeonghan's mud-splattered palomino. In the mornings, breakfast consisted of rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and whispering about whatever misadventure you had found yourselves tangled in the night before. 

That was before he had come of age. Before your father gave him the Throne Talk, and before he was whisked away into endless meetings and etiquette lessons and parliaments. Your inside jokes became foul, overripe in his newly coached mouth. He even learned to play golf, and he hated golf. 

Past August, you don't think you ever got your brother back.

You slide the oaken doors of the stables open, feeling your arms squeeze underneath your riding shirt. Here, it’s always quiet after sundown.

It hasn't changed since the day you first snuck in with Jeonghan. You let the green scent of the hay fill your lungs, the sleep-stir of the horses like music to your ears. Dokyeom has left the tack room open by "accident" once more, likely to avoid catching you picking the lock with a bobby pin like he had a few months ago. 

"Hey, you," you whisper, coming to the stall of your own horse. Astrid, a bay thoroughbred, was Jeonghan's gift to you on your 18th birthday, a wistful reminder of a summer now past its prime. "No surprise here, but I had a really, really bad day." 

Astrid, oblivious, noses at your palm in search of a nonexistent sugar cube. Somehow, this brings the anxious chatter of your mind to a crescendo—would Astrid come with you to Acros? When would that happen? More importantly, when were you moving? You think of a too-warm summer morning, the ridiculous, oversized brim of one of your mother's sunhats, and a moving truck. That, and a country ready to delete you from its ranks. 

It's now, with the bridle in your fists, that you hear the wheedling groan of the stable door as it slides open. Without thinking, you quickly push out the first excuse you have. "I apologize, I was—" 

"It's me." 

Jihoon. 

You would tease him about his fear of ponies—perhaps it's because he is quite literally the same size as them—but you think hearing another person tell you off would officially push you over the edge. You don't want to be dramatic, but you don't even know if Acros even had horses. 

That, and somehow he's both the first and the last person you want to see. The guilt feels a bit heavier when you know his life is about to change too, in no small part due to your own failings.

"Jihoon, I…" you start. There’s an apology that’s been sitting on your tongue, one you haven’t quite learned to spit up yet. You don’t know who it’s for—yourself, or everyone else—but Jihoon interrupts you before you can finish your thought. 

"You forgot your jacket," Jihoon replies. 

For once, you can't read him. You wonder if he's thinking about if he'd get along with the other bodyguards, but, more likely, he's probably pitying you. You're the last person in the world that should be in an arranged marriage, and even someone who kills people for a living could tell. 

"I'll be in the foyer." 

You don't exchange any more words. Jihoon knows that there is nothing he can say that will erase what's about to happen, and like always, he is right.

After you saddle up, Astrid takes you to the forest like usual. Honestly, you've lost count of the times you've come out here to cry, usually about a boy you don’t even like, or, worse, Jeonghan declining your weekly Facetime session again. But now, you think you both know this time is very different. 

"Astrid," you groan. "Joshua looks like a Ken doll from hell. He probably pronounces tomato like tomahto and has a closet dedicated to his tweed collection. I can't marry him." 

Astrid is none the wiser. You wish she was human for a moment so you could show her the crater-sized hole that "prince joshua google images" left in your browser history. 

"Do you think he only listens to classical music? I think a Kim Petras song would kill him instantaneously." 

The mental image of Joshua Hong being struck down by the first ten seconds of Throat Goat makes you laugh, but you still don't feel far away enough from the truth.

You remember your 21st birthday, a balmy spring Friday. Jeonghan had been helping out at the local youth theater, and the opening night of their production was coincidentally the same day. Jeonghan had never been one for theater (last time, he had fallen asleep during Mamma Mia, of all musicals). You knew the press turnout was expected to be huge, but the whole thing felt like one big charade to you. 

So you had planned your big birthday bash—you only get one 21st, after all—that day. The paparazzi fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Unsurprisingly, drunk, hot girls made for a better story than Greek theater. 

You remember the raw, stinging look Jeonghan had in his eyes the next morning. He didn't even have to say anything, but you knew. The memory carves out an abyss in your chest. You knew you should have done better for your brother, but he didn’t even feel like your brother anymore. 

Still, actions have consequences, and this was a hell of a consequence. Even out here, the inconvenient reality of it seems closer than ever. but you're out of time. The night fades fast, especially ones like these. 

So you press your heart to Astrid's mane, the pale moon high over the both of you, and you ride. 

--

Late spring is kind to Acros. 

The tulips push their bright heads out of the dirt, winking and blazing in the daylight, and the green fields stretch so far they look like water. 

You had spent the car ride with your nose pressed to the window, watching all the sun-bleached buildings zip by. You mustn't ruin this for Jeonghan. It spins around in your head like an old pair of shoes in a washing machine. 

Now you stand in the grand foyer, your parents on either side of you. Jihoon hovers behind, holding the overstuffed duffel bag you had rushed to pack this morning. 

A hushed arrival such as this was unbecoming of your family, but it was necessary. your parents had stressed that the arranged part of the deal was not meant to be public knowledge because it was bad for optics. To you, the arrangement was actually the entire deal. That, and you and optics never exactly got along. 

Waiting for Joshua and his parents gives you a moment to observe what could be your new home, although you’re still waiting for the miraculous plot twist that will save you from your fate. 

That being said: you’ve set foot in plenty of nice places, but if HGTV ran segments for castles, this would certainly be the blueprint. It’s smaller than the palace in Cotria, but you like that—it’s cozier, less cold-seeming. 

The filigreed ceilings vault dizzyingly high, and the chandelier above the muraled walls is set afire with the noontime sun. the blushing azaleas cascade from their pots, and they line the hallways with joyous pops of white and pink. breaking the spell is the distant staccato of several sets of footsteps on marble, and you straighten your back, as if by divine command. 

Three figures approach you: Joshua and his parents. Even from a distance, you can see the trained walk of royalty, their shoulders straight enough to hold water. You’ll give credit where credit is due—they look even less thrilled to meet you than you are to meet them.

Unfortunately, up close, Joshua is more handsome than the cameras would betray. He's taller than you had imagined, too. without trying, it looks like he jumped out of a shitty Disney movie, one where the prince says two words and still gets the girl. More than that, you notice how his face is like glass—unwavering, cruelly still. One wrong move, and you'd break him. 

"Your highnesses," you say, lowering your head in a pronounced curtesy. 

Joshua bows in response, like clockwork. He reaches for your hand, then brings it to his lips to kiss the back of it. 

At once, you feel your hackles jump up, even though many a man has done far nastier to you. You can’t tell what pisses you off more: a, the fact that he smells like a hotel lobby, or b, that he managed to get his mouth on you in less than five seconds. 

"I'm elated we have the privilege of welcoming your daughter into our home," Joshua's mother says. Like him, she is staggeringly elegant and even harder to read. "She's beautiful." 

Fortunately, she has picked the one compliment that your parents can agree on without lying through their teeth. You watch them laugh and titter amongst themselves, and it's now that you notice Joshua has been looking at you this whole time.

You think look is too kind of a word, though. It's something colder than that, more clinical, and you really don't like it. Your stylist had spent upwards of two hours today in front of your vanity this morning, mostly in a losing battle with a pair of fake lashes, and you wonder if one of them is crooked. That, or Joshua is similarly wondering just how he will endure a life wedded to you. 

"Joshua, please," his mother chides, and you watch him almost immediately pivot towards her, like he’s on wheels. "Where are your manners? You should show the princess around. Get to know each other a bit before press tomorrow." 

Press. Of course. Your least favorite word. You vaguely remember your parents mentioning it in the car this morning, but it must have gotten lost among all the other terrible things they'd told you. 

Your head starts to hurt. Joshua keeps smiling at you, empty, doll-like.

"Yes, I'd love that," you say, feeling like a deflating balloon. You were hoping his company will be better than watching four grown adults fall all over each other, but you're starting to doubt that. 

Joshua offers you his arm, and you take it anyway. 

"We'll be off then," he chirps before bowing once more. His freakishly shiny shoe nudges yours to remind you to do the same. Begrudgingly, you listen, watching your shellacked, angry expression in the patina of his loafers. 

Not a good start, but what did you expect?

You tamp down your irritation and let him lead you into the Great Hall. It's a shiny, golden tunnel, studded with glossy oil paintings of his parents, his grandparents, then the next set of old people before them. Their eyes stare at you, pools of hazy paint in their moon faces. You briefly imagine your painting up there, with Joshua's hand hovering meekly over your waist, unused to being more than two feet away from a woman his age.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Joshua says. "I think I've only seen you in pictures." 

He's referencing the one of many “encounters” you've had with the paparazzi, a la yesterday night. They take trashy photos, overexposed and grainy from the camera flash, with your ass most likely in the frame. 

You choose to let it slide—you have no choice, really. At least you have an ass. 

"The pleasure is mine," you reply. "I believe you were at the cricket championships a few months ago, right?" 

"Correct. Do you watch? I don't believe I saw you." 

"No, but my brother was there." Your footsteps echo against the marbled walls. "Just trying to think of your last public appearance," you offer unhelpfully, since you and he both know those are few and far between. 

"That's right. He mentioned you were busy," Joshua replies. "Glastonbury was that weekend, was it not?" 

He's right. It was, but you don't like the insinuation he's making. You weren't at Glastonbury anyway—your parents wouldn't let you attend, and Jihoon was unwilling to come up with a cover story for you. Because you would rather watch paint dry than attend another cricket game, you instead spent it with takeout and reruns of Rupaul's Drag Race. 

"Can't recall," you answer. "Doesn't matter. I'm not one for cricket, anyway."

"Didn't know you had a choice."

You watch Joshua halfheartedly gesture to the Great Hall. The seemingly mile-long dinner table is empty now, save for a gratuitously piled fruit bowl. 

Your country frequently hosts guests, but the Hongs are notoriously insular. You imagine the four of you, crammed together at one end of the table, making horrendous small talk every morning over wilted danishes and raspberry preserves. Somehow, your mood worsens even more than you thought possible.

"Can I see the library?" you ask in an attempt to pivot. 

"Of course. Do you enjoy reading?" 

"A normal amount." You pass by another set of windows and take note of the rose garden outside, verdant with the May sunshine. Astrid has a bit of a penchant for eating roses, which would definitely complicate your plan to smuggle her in. No matter—you’ve done worse. "I studied political science at university, so I got a healthy dose of it." 

"Didn't we all?" Joshua chuckles.

He pushes the door open to the library, which is just as lavish as the rest of the palace. You wonder how well-worn it is, how many spines have creases in them, how many dedications were speckled with a funny annotation or two. But judging by first impressions, you wouldn't be surprised if all the books still had their dust jacket on. 

"I mean, I read an insane amount of Dan Brown," you reply. "Not many of us can say we've solved the Davinci code, you know." 

You hoped this would crack a laugh out of him, but his grin is thinner than an eyebrow from the 2000s. Truthfully, you would compare this conversation to a death by a thousand papercuts, but somehow that feels preferable to the guillotine of discussing the terms and conditions of your rapidly impending marriage. You feel as though that would be violating some rule you aren't yet aware of, and you're unwilling to endure the patent leather consequences of another faux pas. 

"I've heard of it," says Joshua after much thought. "My parents were shuttling me between meetings and private lessons, so, unlike some, I was quite busy during university." 

You're not about to explain that you were equally as busy as him. Something tells you that he'd be too prideful to believe you anyway. 

"How difficult. Surely you were able to have some fun," you say, your voice betraying your distaste. "Or were you too good for that?" 

Too far. 

"I did what my position allowed," is Joshua's terse reply, and you know you've crossed a line. Still, it dazes you that the man standing next to you may have never done anything for himself in his life. Even Jeonghan did, before your parents really tightened the reins. 

The air buzzes with a silence sharp enough to make you bleed. You wish literally anyone else was standing next to you, but you realize there are no more horses or emergency cabs or Jihoons to rescue you from this one. 

"How about I take you to our room? I hope you'll find it comfortable." 

You glance to your right to catch a glimpse of Joshua. He smiles, a dutiful press of the lips, and you watch it ripple.

--

"Jihoon, it is so much worse than I thought." 

You sit on the plush carpeting of your bedroom floor, amongst your small disaster of things. Jihoon examines you, one eyebrow raised, as he leans against the bedroom door. 

"He's not around, right?" 

Jihoon shakes his head.

"I don't get it," you sigh. "I go out. I get drunk. I have a little fun on the weekends. I don't see how any of this makes me a bad person." 

"You know how traditional your families are." Jihoon bends down to pick up a hair bow that jumped ship from the vanity. "It's just how it is." 

"He treats me like some high school delinquent. I tried, but he has no sense of humor. No joi de vivre. I think he would actually explode if he knew I went out two days ago." 

"Give it time," Jihoon supplies unhelpfully. "I don't know French, but he can't be that bad. You just met him." 

“Yeah. Usually that’s a good thing. I’ve fucked people i know less about.” 

Jihoon shakes his head and laughs, one of those little cackly ones he reserves for your company. 

"Well, you have been with worse," he tuts. "Definitely worse." 

"Jihoon, be serious. This is the rest of my life we're talking about." 

“I know." He draws his lips into a line, likely searching for the right thing to say. "This sucks. I wouldn't be good at this either." 

"You're talking to me. I don't think there's a single royal thing I can do right."

He's out of words, so he bends down to awkwardly pat you on the head, which, in all your years of knowing him, is the most affection he can muster. This is why you prefer horses to Jihoon for therapy, although you appreciate the effort. 

"I'd stay, but they want me to go to some meeting," he says, jerking his thumb towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

So he leaves you, desolate and linen-covered. Back to square one. 

The room seems to echo with how empty it feels. The bare walls are painted champagne, a rich, indifferent color. They soar to an arched ceiling lined with baroque crown moulding. There's a large window facing the garden, framed by deep green velvet. Atop the vanity cradled to the wall, the ivy of the wrought mirror curls at the edges, as if escaping. The chandelier hangs low, fat and pear-shaped, and its crystals douse the room in gauzy lamplight.

At least the canopy bed looks comfortable. It's the one thing keeping you from calling this place a veritable jail cell, which still seems like an understatement. For once, you miss your own bedroom. Granted, it didn’t look much different on the surface. but despite all the paneling and the heavy velvet, you still like to think it had some personality. You still keep your pillow pet on your bed (a horse named Robert). The back wall is chipped from a Gossip Girl poster your mom made you take down.  

Before you’re able to get too sentimental, the unwelcome sight of your future husband steals you from your thoughts. 

"Evening," Joshua says, stepping into the room. He's so quiet, it takes you aback. "Still unpacking?" 

"Sorry." You gesture around you. "I underestimated my ability to overpack."

"You should have told the staff," he says, surveying the damage. "Do you need help?" 

"No," you insist. Somehow the prospect of him getting on the ground to sort out all of your things upsets you, even more than him touching all of your unmentionables. "No. Please. Just ignore me."

"Alright." 

Joshua seems to take no issue with that, gratefully. He takes a seat on the chaise at the foot of the bed. He's got a copy of Anna Karenina under his arm, probably to weigh the pros and cons of cheating on you. You don't blame him—in fact, maybe it would make your doomed marriage exciting enough to be tolerable. 

"PR event tomorrow," you start, folding up a nightdress. "Bet you're excited for that." 

“As excited as one can be before announcing their arranged marriage," he replies dryly. "But surely you have enough experience with the press for the both of us." 

So that’s how he wanted to play. Fine. You wouldn’t let him walk all over you a second time. 

"Well, I'd hope all those classes you took would be good for something."

"That's rich, coming from the case study on bad media training." 

"Oh, please," you snap. "At least I know how to have a good time." 

"I was having a great time before I was informed this was happening." 

"Forgive me. I had no idea you were so invested in my personal life." You huff as you heave an oversized armful of clothes to the closet. “Think TMZ has any job openings?” 

"Very funny," he retorts. Joshua holds up a skimpy black dress that's fallen from your pile, one well acquainted with the midnight grease of one too many nightclubs. "You dropped this, by the way. I don't really think the nightlife here will be quite to your taste, though." 

"Oh right, because this is where happiness goes to die, huh?" You snatch it back from him, feeling the knot of anger in your gut flare. 

The room seems to pulse with an uncomfortable silence, red-hot with unsaid words. You recognize the all too familiar way Joshua sets his jaw back, and you're transported all the way to the study in the east wing, snoutless lion, terracotta steps, and all. He’s not any different from anyone else, so you’re not sure why you expected anything else. 

You do the only thing you can do—bite your tongue. 

"Look," you finally say, gathering the wherewithal to call for a truce. "I know that we didn't ask for this." 

Joshua laughs. Actually, it's the first time you've heard it since you've met, and it would be an otherwise tolerable, even nice, sound if it wasn't directed right at you.

"Right, because who doesn't want to have to babysit someone for the rest of their life?" 

You take a hard swallow.  You've both done enough damage for tonight, although you'd love to see his expression when you call him the live-action version of Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Maybe another time. 

Instead you think of Jeonghan, stuck in his meetings and sunk into this new, starched form of himself that you find difficult to recognize. Still, he's your brother, and you'd hate to see him suffer for it. 

"Stop. I'll be good," you say. "I promise. I know there's a lot at stake for the both of us." 

You can hear Joshua's long, drawn exhale. The furrow dug between his brows flattens out, and he seems to be reminded of everything they taught you both in Conflict Resolution 101. 

"I apologize. I got out of line," he says. You watch the cogs turn on that unfortunately pretty face of his. You hope he finally reveals that he has a much better, kinder personality that he was waiting to debut, but he doesn't. Instead he picks up yet another fallen item from your stash and hands it to you (this time, a much more presentable blouse). 

"I know we don't like each other—" You hold up a hand to interrupt him from lying to you. “—but we can do our best for the cameras. Because that matters. Hate me all you want in private." 

"Okay." He gives you a defeated look, which is all you suppose you'll get out of him today. "Deal." 

That night, there are no more backhanded compliments, quips, or mean-spirited attempts at sarcasm. 

You sink into your side of the bed, a damask-woven vat of quicksand, and watch the spears of light dance on the ceiling. If you had known your last outing was the one a few days ago, maybe you would have drank a little more, stayed out later. Maybe you wouldn't have even gone home. 

Joshua has been reading on the other side of the bed, which seems like oceans apart. The metronomic turn of his pages would have put you to sleep if it wasn't for this new fear, a black, trembling one, that's now taken residence in your chest. It feels like you are further from yourself than you've ever been, and you don't know how to get back. 

"Is it too bright for you?" Joshua's voice, now tempered by the stillness of the evening, pulls you out of your thoughts. "I can turn the lamp off." 

"It's ok," you groan. "Can't really sleep. Don't worry about it." 

He doesn't say anything. Instead you hear the oiled pull of the bedside nightstand before he places something on the bed beside you.

It's a book. Specifically, one of those trashy romances that they only sell at the airport because no one would be brave enough to read them anywhere else.

"It's no Dan Brown," he says. "Hopefully still to your liking." 

You sit up against the headboard and flip through the pages. The prince of Acros owning a book with the words "juicy", "mewling", and "best friend's brother" in the first fifty pages are enough to tide you over for the night. Probably the next week, to be honest.

"Yes, indeed, your highness. Of the raunchy summer fling." 

Joshua smiles, and this time, you think it's a real one. 

--

You hate mornings. 

You thought this one would be different, probably due to the fact that you would soon be standing in front of a few too many cameras to announce your tragic fate to the entire world. Unfortunately, it's like all your other mornings—rushed, nauseous, and now with all the added anxiety of a semi-non consensual public appearance. 

"Five minutes!" you holler as best you can, a hair pin wiggling in the corner of your mouth. Rule number one of a hard launch: don't be caught looking complacent. Even if the other half of the launch would rather be with anyone other than you. 

Joshua's in the attached bathroom doing his hair. Like everything else he does, it is painfully calculated. He might be the only person in the world who takes "pea-sized" seriously as a measurement tool. 

But even as he so carefully measures his pomade, pump by pump, you don't miss the way his eyes skim over your figure as you lean over the vanity chair to apply your lipstick. Maybe it's because your ass is practically vacuum sealed into your sundress, or maybe he's just looking for another fight to pick. Either way, there's a small part of you that takes pride in this, even if just a little. 

"Ready?" Joshua asks, switching off the bathroom light. You hate to admit it, but he looks good in a sports jacket. You remind yourself that you had to literally rock-paper-scissors this morning to use the vanity mirror because you fogged the bathroom up after your shower. "It's not a pageant." 

"Shush. You are so rude. Never interrupt a girl when she's getting ready." 

In the mirror, you watch Joshua huff behind you. Then he procures a little black box from his pocket, and a crazy sort of feeling washes over you before you remind yourself to be normal. Ten-year-old you would have cried and threatened arson if she knew this is how you would eventually be proposed to, but you have no choice. 

You're sure Joshua feels the same. He was probably hoping for something classic with all the works, and instead he's got a pissed-off Jihoon and you, internationally renowned harlot. Funny how things turn out.

"Any minute now," bitches Jihoon from the other side of the door. 

You close your compact and turn around to face Joshua, who's still fumbling with the box.

"I'm sure this is not what you anticipated," he says, finally cracking it open. “But—" 

"No speech. Just put it on." You stick your left hand out, still glittery from last week’s manicure. "Not like it means much anyway." 

"Yeah."

And just like that, it is done. You feel the shock of Joshua's huge hands over yours, then the unceremonious bite of the cold band. He doesn't linger. 

You hold your newly engaged hand in front of you. The ring must have looked better in the box—on you, it seems out of place, gaudy, yet another thing you can't quite fit into. It squeezes your finger a bit, but it'll do. 

"Ready?" he asks. 

"Let's get this over with."

If romance wasn’t already dead, then it died here, today, in your prison cell bedroom. 

You have no time to lament this, as Joshua’s already half out the door. Quickly, he seems to shed his foul, argumentative inside personality and slip into a second-skin, one that is more poised, gracious, and luminous.

Today's objective is supposed to be simple: friendly, premarital pictures to accompany a written statement to the public announcing your engagement. No paparazzi, no journalists. Still, you're starting to see why your parents decided it was a good idea to stick you with this guy. 

In the foyer, your families await you. It's as if their gaze can slow time—at least four people approved your outfit, and still, the weight of their eyes on you, ever appraising, is crushing. Immediately, your mother starts rearranging the strands of hair on the top of your head and fiddling with the sleeves of your dress, like you're some sort of doll. 

"Come, come," a member of the PR team urges. "Everything is set up. We'll be quick." 

There's a frenetic, tense energy over the palace. It's clear that this marriage is a gambit no one is happy with, and today would make it very, very real. 

Outside, there is a lone photographer. The sun, morning-ripe, reflects off his camera lens like a third eye. The lawn, freakishly green, sprawls out around you, and the blue spruce frames the scene, perfect by design. 

"I just need you to stand next to each other and smile," he says. "That's all, right?" he directs this towards your PR team, about seven too many for a task like this. One of them whispers something in his ear. Your parents watch from the shaded doorstep like wax figures in a museum. 

You and Joshua stand shoulder to shoulder, yearbook photo style. 

"Bit closer," the photographer calls out, and you smush yourself against his arm, close enough that you can appreciate he's got some muscle on him. "Alright. Hold still." 

Click. You've always hated the flash, but you root yourself obediently to the concrete. Your cheeks hurt from smiling. Click. 

Your mother interrupts her conversation with a staff member—likely haggling over the minutia of the statement—and says, "Look happier," as if you're in some dystopian advertisement for a new car. 

"She's talking to you," Joshua says through the grit of his fake, pink smile. 

"Right, because you're such a peach." 

You just want to go back inside and have breakfast. 

You place a tentative hand on Joshua's bicep and turn to him, beaming like you would at a hot bartender when there are five other people waiting for a drink. 

There's a glimmer of surprise in his expression before he matches you. You can see why people dote on him so much—his cheeks get round, and his eyes magically gain the sparkles that people pay for on Facetune. God really seems to have wasted a perfect face on him. 

"Move your hand up so we can see the ring." You obey, feeling the firm cord of his arm underneath you, and you wonder where the gym is in the palace. Joshua was certainly gatekeeping it from you. "Perfect." 

You stand there, living your America's Next Top Model nightmare, before the photographer hits you with, "A kiss for the camera, yeah?" 

All the blood drains from your face. You think you actually say Huh? aloud. Joshua opts to turn to his parents to intervene, which would be funny in literally any other scenario except this one. 

"You heard him," his father replies. "Act like you're actually engaged." 

Honestly, it was a fair request. No one wanted to take any chances. Plausible rumors of an arranged marriage would backfire spectacularly. Jeonghan wouldn't see the front cover of anything ever again, and the entirety of Acros would wonder just how deep in the shitter they were that Joshua was forced to marry you. 

Your parents were already so far into the conspiracy, you overheard them talking about using unpublished paparazzi pictures and rebranding them as times you snuck off to see your unfortunate lover. Point taken. 

"Okay, okay," you laugh nervously. "Of course." 

You face Joshua, steeling yourself, and lean in. The world seems to fall away, but not how you like—it feels as though you've been sucked out of your own body and dropped into a new one that doesn't know what a kiss is or how to do it. 

He's just like anyone else, you tell yourself. You're at the club. They're playing Everytime We Touch by Cascada. 

Soon all you know is the heat of your cheeks, the shaking flat of your palm over Joshua's shoulder, and the wet pressure of what feels like a pair of lips, soft but also very unwilling. 

Click. Click. Then it's over. Everyone huddles around the camera, like animals to a watering hole. Shame, hot and heavy, seems to drape itself over you. 

"Can we get one more?" the photographer asks.

Fuck. Your stomach drops. You can't even glare at Joshua. 

"Sure thing," Joshua says easily, unaware he was the reason it went so badly in the first place. 

You take a deep breath. You imagine a good Kylie Minogue song and a tall stranger with pecs that could fit into a bra, and your eyes flutter shut. 

You decide to go for it this time. Unfortunately, you and your inept partner are on entirely opposite pages again, and you almost miss each other by a mile. When you do get it right, it's messy, two teenagers fumbling in a closet with the lights off. 

Once everyone sees this massacre, it seems they resign themselves to the same conclusion you had long ago. Someone throws a thumbs up above their head, and everyone clears out so fast, it's like nothing ever happened. 

Soon, it's just you, Joshua, and your mother with a red pen and the manuscript. Your heart is still buzzing in your chest, even though you and Joshua are now standing at a distance that makes you believe in the cheese touch again. 

"Now that wasn’t so bad," she says, before escorting the two of you back inside. Perhaps lying cushions the blow of a bad decision, but you're already in too deep. The script, the cameras, even your mother's glossy words—your life is starting to feel like a permanent movie set, and you don't know how to clock out. 

The first thing you do is take off the ring. It's starting to look more and more like costume jewelry on your untrained, bumbling hand. Even still, you can still feel its ghost on your finger, see the glare of the camera flash in the laser-cut facets. 

Worse, you watch Joshua shrug off his sport jacket, likely wondering how exactly that went so wrong, and you can feel that same sensation, still warm, right over your lips.

--

"Save me, red wine, save me." 

Home, sweet home. You're back in Cotria for the rest of the week. This morning's stint was the only thing you had on the schedule, and you told Joshua you had some business to attend to at home. 

Said business was a Niçoise salad and half a bottle of wine, but no one had to know that part. Your struggle meals were your own business, and you think you will actually disintegrate on the spot if you have to sit through another conversation about World War II with Joshua's dad. The one you had at dinner last night was plenty. 

The restaurant you’re at is a familiar haunt, but not too familiar. The ass-kissers and the groupies have gotten good at keeping their heads on a swivel, and you’re not exactly planning on another encounter with a camera. But here, the crowd is quiet enough, the food good enough, the service fast enough. It’s enough, which you’ve come to prefer. 

That's the other thing about Cotria—there’s an overabundance of everything. Department stores, parlors, dog cafes, polished bars with overpriced cocktails. It’s almost a rarity to find a place like this, quiet enough to actually talk. 

"You must be in the fucking trenches," Somi says, shaking her head. "When's the press release getting published?"

"Next week," you groan. "The good news is that they want us to go to the derby afterward."

"Okay, miss horse girl," Somi says, clinking her wine glass against yours. "You betting this year?" 

"No, I shouldn't." You shovel another forkful of leaves into your mouth. "But I really hope I get to watch it instead of pretending to like a guy the whole time." 

"I didn't see you pretending in uni," Somi says, cocking an eyebrow up at you. "And those guys are ugly. This guy isn't." 

"Okay, wait," you protest. "Ugly cute. Don't get it twisted. And they don't act like sentient wet paint. This guy sucks." 

You're reminded of the moment before you left the palace this morning. Joshua saw that same black dress that he used against you make its way into your bag, and he gave you the dirtiest stink eye you'd ever seen. 

I'm not above tattling. They were the first words he'd said to you after The Incident. 

Good thing you won't have to, you replied. He didn't even see you out because no one was standing around to clap him on the back for being a good fake fiancé. 

"Whatever." Somi picks a tomato off your plate in exchange for some of her fries. "I wouldn't mind it, is what I'm saying." 

"You slept with the bouncer to get into Annabel’s." 

"Fuck off. He was actually really good. Club entry was just a bonus," she laughs. "That reminds me—you're coming to my birthday, right? Or do you have wifely duties now?" 

"Of course I'm coming!" you insist, feeling the word duty hit like an actual bullet to your chest. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

"Just making sure! You know I gotta have my people around." 

You had known Somi since you were in diapers. She's the cousin twice removed of a baron, or a count, or maybe even a viscount–you never were good at keeping track of those kinds of things. Even though you had seen her at countless brunches, coronations, and garden parties, you don't think you actually became friends until you ran into her at a college party in Mykonos. She sidled up to you, smelling like strawberries and the bleachy sting of hair dye, and handed you a cucumber margarita. 

The beer here sucks, she had whisper-shouted to you, right over the shell of your ear. Wanna dance? You were inseparable ever since. 

"It's going to be huge. There are, like, 200 people on the guest list right now. Soonyoung rented a villa, There's gonna be a champagne tower, and the music won't suck. Guaranteed." 

"That sounds perfect," you sigh. "Please tell me there's gonna be a pool. I need to show off my new swimsuit." 

"Duh." Somi rolls her eyes, glittery under her extensions. "The perfect opportunity to show the world that their hottest bachelorette is a bachelorette no longer. Also, we invited Pitbull.” 

“Shut the fuck up. Wait, is he actually coming?” 

”Dunno. Wouldn’t be very Mr. Worldwide of him to flake, though.” 

Pitbull or not, you think of the heat of the strobe lights, the electric trill of the too-loud speakers. You're dancing in a dress that looks like a chunk of the moon, with the little neon ties of your bikini top peeking out the sides. There's a peach highball in your hands and no one is telling you what to do, how to do it, or that you're doing it wrong. 

Then you think of Joshua. Maybe he'd loosen up after a few drinks. Maybe he'd dance with you, put those hands to use on your hips and kiss you like he should have earlier today. Maybe he'd even be good at it. The thought makes your cheeks sting.

“Should I invite Joshua?” Somi says, wrinkling her nose at how you immediately grimace. “What if he’s actually a blast?” 

"No! No. Absolutely not." 

“What if he’s—” Then she drops her singsong voice to a whisper. “Hung? Don’t tell me you haven’t seen those pictures of him in the Galapagos.” 

Unfortunately, you have. A lurid, glassy image of your soon-to-be-husband in a sleazy pair of swim trunks comes into vision. You push past the smile, the unfair pecs, and remind yourself of that horrible, self-righteous twist of the lips that he always has. 

Yes, that’s right. That’s the Joshua you know. 

You grab the wine from her and drink it right from the bottle. 

–

Of course it had to be the one time you’re not late to an event that you forget you had swapped everything in all your purses around. You double check your bag—empty. 

You’re already down by half of your worldly possessions (still at home, your real home), and you probably left the other half on Joshua’s bathroom counter. Yesterday, you got derailed mid-task by Joshua lighting the grossest candle ever. You never thought you’d ever fight over candles of all things, but you couldn’t let him walk away from that conversation thinking wet dirt was a normal, socially acceptable, scent for a bedroom. (—It said moss on the label! —So, dirt. —Moss is not dirt. Maybe you need to go back to school.) 

You fling open the bathroom door, still checking the pockets of your handbag, before you collide into a big, sopping wet wall. 

“What the—?” You look up. The wall is not a wall. No, in fact, it is your fiancé, bare fucking naked. 

Your heart jumps up to your throat. It feels like you walked right into a porno, and you can hear Somi’s self-satisfied, witch cackle right in your ear. His dark hair seems to fall into his eyes just right, a nice change from how he normally gels it up, and you watch the beads of water from the shower, torturously glittery, run down his jaw, the hollow of his neck, right onto his chest. 

Men should not be allowed to have bigger boobs than you, at least, not dowdy Joshua Hong, who normally has the sex appeal of an eraser. And God forbid your eyes travel downward and confirm Somi’s sick and twisted hypothesis, past the washboard abs, the v-line, the trail down his— 

“Sorry, did you need something?” You blink again and Joshua suddenly has a towel wrapped around his waist. And he’s eyeing you like you ate a million cloves of garlic and then proceeded to spit on him. “Or are you just going to stand here and ogle me?” 

“I wasn't—no!” You start snatching things off the counter, anything really, and throwing them into your bag. “I just needed to grab stuff for my… my thing. You’re in the way.” 

“Right, because you need four q-tips and my razor to read a children’s book,” Joshua replies, plucking the offending items out of your purse. “It's almost 12:30, by the way.” 

“Shit. Fuck,” you stammer. You can’t glare at him anymore because you know where your eyes will end up and it is not on his face. “Stop distracting me. Whatever.” 

“Have fun,” is the last thing Joshua tells you before you close the bathroom door, that portal to hell, right back up. 

What you can’t do is return the image of what you saw back to where it came from, the wicked, glistening form of Joshua and his B cup tits. He looked so good, it makes you angry. 

Later, on the walk to the library, you reach for your lip gloss. Instead, you pull out q-tip number five and get mad all over again. 

–

The car ride to the derby feels like your own personal Saw trap, if Jigsaw wore a ridiculous hat and was actually your mother. 

Your engagement was announced to the public just a few days ago. It came with no fanfare, no warning. You were sitting on your bed, making your way through the smut Joshua called a novel, when the news app on your phone kindly notified you that you were now a taken woman. 

To some degree, the media uproar fascinated you. The idea that people with actual journalism degrees were writing headcanons about your honeymoon when you hadn’t even seen Joshua since The Bathroom Incident was surely entertaining, to say the least. But, like everything, the unsaid pressure of being a perfect princess, now part of an even more perfect couple, hangs heavy over you. 

You remind yourself this is supposed to be fun. A real couple would be pawing at each other in the backseat, perhaps pregaming with champagne or fan-casting their pick for Spirit the horse. Instead, you’re stuck rehearsing your pitch to the reporters when they inevitably ask you about how the hell this happened. You wish you could tell them you’re not quite sure either. 

Silently, you look at Joshua. Joshua looks out the window. The world rumbles under you. 

[10:15 am, race 1]

The air seizes, swirls with clay-colored dust in the morning sun. The clubhouse is already heady with the low buzz of conversation—you watch the freckled sunhats and oily toupees bob up and down in the swell of the crowd, deep in the morning’s small talk. You wonder how many of them are talking about you, given how recently the news hit. You’re used to people ignoring your media appearances, not celebrating them. 

Someone, tipping their head down to greet you, hands you a program. Joshua elects to tuck his in his back pocket. People don’t come to the derby to watch the races. Instead, it’s an excuse to gossip, day drink, and gamble, which would ordinarily be a good time for you if you weren’t overly invested in the racing circuit. 

All the way from the entrance to your seats, you were met with a tidal wave of camera flashes, all hungry for a glimpse of your first public appearance as a couple. Alongside this, a decidedly worse flurry of congratulations paired with an overly familiar touch to the shoulder or a limp handshake. Joshua is quick to respond with either a smile or some trite platitude. Your least favorite: We couldn’t be happier. Now he’s just lying for sport. 

“We should find the reporters doing interviews,” Joshua says the second his ass touches the chair, unfazed by the onslaught of perhaps a million different people. “The Sun probably wants to talk to us.” 

You’re not listening—you can’t let on that this whole ordeal is mildly terrifying for you. He has enough reasons to dislike you, and stage fright wouldn’t exactly be a good addition to the list. 

The racehorses have lined up at the track, their manes catching the daylight like holy fire. You like the one on the end. He looks like Peanut, Jeonghan’s stubborn palomino. 

Joshua says your name insistently, curdled with the annoyance that you’ve now become acquainted with, and you catch a stray camera flash from the stands. You have an audience, and the audience demands a show, even if they’re second-rate journalists like the scum from The Sun.  

“Darling,” you reply flatly. “Relax. Let's enjoy the races.” 

The horses stretch their long legs, anxious for the thunderclap of the starter’s pistol. Joshua raises a tired eyebrow before the same realization dawns on him. 

“Absolutely.” He clears his throat. “Darling.” 

You wrap a hand around his arm—somehow he makes hand-holding seem like third base—and watch his shoulders sink with a sigh, like you just popped him. 

Likewise, your highness. Likewise. 

A shot crackles through the air, and you’re off to the races. 

[12:43 pm, race 2.]

"I just have to know—how did you guys meet?" 

You know the duchess of Pemarlia to be beautiful and unashamedly nosy, and she has yet to prove you wrong on either account. 

The last time you saw her was on the beach at Lake Como last year, where she spent the entirety of your conversation asking if Jeonghan was single (and peeking into your bag to see what brand of lipstick you were wearing). Like everyone, she always seems to have a look of appraisal on her face. What makes her different is that she never really bothers to hide it; instead, she wears it like an en-vogue accessory. 

She eyes you with an intensity, sizing up your dress, your tawdry sunhat, your ring. You wonder if she’d agree that marriage didn’t look good on you, but any shorter of a dress, your mother would call you a stripper. And God forbid you leave the house hat-less. 

Now she’s no minotaur. This shouldn’t be much of a problem, save for one very small issue: you actually hadn’t planned your answer to this. You had quibbled over it briefly in the car, but you were too focused on your interview pitch to worry about minor gossip. 

"Well," Joshua starts. Through his smile, you can hear the warning edge of his voice. “It was quite ordinary.” 

"Actually," you cut him off. Not only would his version of this story be boring, it would also be horribly out-of-character for you. You did not come this far for your cover to be blown by Joshua’s lack of imagination. "Josh's parents hosted a—" 

"Brunch," Joshua finishes. Whether his teeth are gritted because he's grinning or frustrated is none of your business. “It was Easter brunch, wasn’t it, sweet pea? Four years ago?” 

The pet name makes you want to puke. Now he’s just trying to piss you off, but you know this is his attempt to play along. He's annoying, not dumb. 

"Yes, we sat across from each other.” You playfully dig your elbow into Joshua’s rock-hard side. “He was giving me the eyes the whole time.” 

You watch your hapless victim giggle, her spidery lashes wide with intrigue. Joshua is a little less pleased. 

“If you could call it that,” he replies. “I think you had chocolate on your nose.”

“Which you so kindly wiped off for me, dear.” You try to peek around the flaxen billows of the duchess’s blowout to watch the horses behind her, but to no avail. “After a morning of staring, we had to do an Easter egg hunt, planned by Joshie himself. I had no idea he loved silly little games like that.” 

“It's because people like the princess get so competitive,” Joshua says, with his laser beam grin boring into your eye sockets. “I believe I found you rummaging through the trash for eggs, like some kind of animal.” 

“Oh my goodness,” the duchess laughs. “How...charming.”  

You feel your eyebrow twitch. Only you’re allowed to ruin your own reputation, but you suppose that’s just another thing your horrible fake fiance gets to take from you. 

“Not as embarrassing as seeing Joshua leer at me from behind the corner,” you retort. “He was so enamored that when I invited him to join me, he got right down on his knees to look through the trash together.” 

“Well, did you find anything?” 

“Yes—”

“No—”

“Well—”

Fuck. Luckily, the duchess is either stupid or wildly entertained by the clown show playing out before her. Maybe both. 

“Cute,” she coos. “You must have been too smitten to notice.” 

“Absolutely,” Joshua says, as if there is a gun held to his pretty head. “Among all the garbage and the girl next to me, I suppose nothing else really mattered.” 

“If that isn’t love, what is?” she asks blithely. 

If only she knew. 

[3:45 pm, race 3]

The sun descends on the stadium, swollen and yellow with the afternoon. 

Last year, you and your friends had a betting ring set up during the racing circuit. Obviously, you had won—not too hard when your competition included Soonyoung, who only bet on horses named after food (sadly, it was not Tater Tot’s year). Somi was no better, and your brother thought every horse deserved a participation award.

This time around, things aren’t so simple. But you’d hate to say that you spent a whole day at the track and didn’t bet on a single race. Life could afford you at least one win for today. 

Again, the horses take their positions at the starting line, wound up like a line of rubber bands. The air heaves with bated breath. 

“Joshua,” you say, folding your hands in your lap as you find your target. “I'd like to propose a bet.” 

“You must be a glutton for punishment.” 

You bite back a laugh as you watch your favorite horse, the palomino, ripple in place. Fans would call her a charity case, but you know better. 

“Pick a horse. Mine is number Three, in the blue.” 

“And if mine wins? What’s in it for me?” he asks. Still, he leans forward, corded forearms on his thighs. You watch him squint as he surveys the field with renewed interest. 

“You pick,” you reply. “Choose wisely. I personally cannot wait to call in a favor from you.” 

“The chestnut one. Number Nine.” So he is competitive. “And likewise. Perhaps I'll hold it over your head until the wedding.” 

Before you can reply, you hear the starting pistol rip clean into the air. The racehorses surge forward, as if a silken ribbon through air. 

“Nine makes sense for you,” you say, eyes fixed before you. “He's flashy, the crowd favorite. Spotless pedigree.” 

“I'm picking your punishment already.” 

“I didn't say he would win.” You feel the lilt of your voice rocking upward, the tremulous beat of your heart against your ribs. “You see, Three’s had a rough season. There she is, passing Four right now.” 

“Nine is still first, though.” 

“It’s not about that,” you reply. “She does this, she starts all the way out back and then flies up. No one suspects anything—it’s like she likes proving people wrong. The first couple races of the season, she was just stretching her legs; they were small, small fry. It’s this one that matters.” 

The saddles are just blurs on the track now. To the march of the hoofbeats, Three lunges past Five, Six. The crowd roars. 

“This will be her first win. I'm counting on it. She’s come really close before.” 

Joshua doesn’t reply. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his gaze has shifted. You feel it land somewhere near you, but you’re too engrossed in the race to investigate further. Perhaps he’s admitted defeat preemptively, wisely so. 

“You know your stuff,” he murmurs, the clamor of the audience almost burying him. 

“How can I not?” Three coasts past One and Ten like she’s flying, until it’s just her and unlucky number Nine. “Oh my god. Go, go, go!” 

You and Joshua rise to your feet, as if drawn by a string, now wholly invested in the race. 

“Still beating you, you know.” 

“Not for long! Come on!” 

You watch your darling number Three, against all odds, pull past Joshua’s number Nine, burning a trail past the inevitable finish line. 

From somewhere inside you emerges a joy that you hadn’t felt since this whole ordeal started. You turn to Joshua and clasp his hands between yours, somehow less wooden now, and so, so human. The crowd cheers; they come alive. 

[4:50 pm, races 4 and 5. mainly, the reporter from the sun.] 

The smaller races take place shortly after the headliner, for better or for worse. This forces you to finally face the music—the music being a dull-eyed, greasy journalist ready to sink his teeth into the public’s new favorite topic. 

Joshua is a good sport about it, or at least, he’s good at pretending to be one. 

“It was great,” is his answer to a question you didn’t hear. You’re busy going over the parts of the script that you remember. Your media team spent the better part of the morning repeating it back to you, which was helpful until it wasn’t. You weren’t sure how to tell them you’ve actually never been good at speaking to the press, since you had spent the better half of your life doing the exact opposite. 

“And what did the princess think? It’s not often we catch you for an interview, you know.” 

The eye of the camera seems to pierce through you. You can see your shellacked figure, long and distorted, in the reflection. 

“I—um,” you swallow hard. God. Pull it together. You can already hear the lecture you’re going to get on the way home today. “Yeah, big day today.”

“She’s had to really rein in her excitement, you know,” Joshua adds, chuckling. 

Briefly, you feel his hand brush against yours. Ordinarily, you’d pass it off as a fluke, but you feel the steady, insistent warmth of his palm again, first, to the inside of your wrist, then lower still. Before you’re able to really process what’s happening, he then takes your hand in his all at once, as if to say, I’ve got this. I’ve got you. 

You figure he’s cashing in his favor early–he’d much rather leave you out to dry, let you flounder a bit so you learn to read the PR memorandums the night before. I told you so, he’d say. That’s what everyone else would say, anyway. 

“The races are sure exciting, but I'm sure you’re even more excited about your upcoming wedding.” The reporter grins at you, as if he smells your fear. His hair looks like it’s glued to the top of his shiny head. “If I'm going to be honest, you were one of the last people we’d expect to tie the knot this year. We are all dying to hear more.” 

What? You force yourself to breathe, feel the air fill your lungs, to avoid making an expression you’ll regret. 

“Well, yeah, I'm sure it looks like it all happened quickly,” you answer, feeling your tongue trip over the words. Mostly because it did, in fact, happen quickly, but you can’t let them know that. “But Josh and I feel strongly about, uh, this whole thing, and—”

“Please, don’t spare us the details.” 

Telepathically, Joshua squeezes your hand. This, you understand. He’s telling you to lean on him, and you trust that. 

“Hold your horses,” he cuts in, almost too quickly, which makes the corners of your mouth twitch upward. He was definitely looking for an opening, but you, bizarrely, don’t mind at all. He turns to you and smiles. “What's the fun without a little mystery? It's been a wild ride, but I'm loving every second of it.” 

It’s this one, the lamest and most embarrassing dad joke of them all, that gets you. 

You laugh: a real one, big, loud, and unafraid. It's here, caught in the glare of the camera flash, where you find yourself hoping, even just a little, that this wasn’t just a favor, that this was a sign you could actually survive this arrangement. 

You’re not asking for love—just a little bit of like. and, right now, you think you like Joshua Hong. 

—

In the evening, you find yourself in the oaken parlor nestled away in the back halls of the Acrosian palace. 

There's a piano there, gathering dust. It's a Steinway, spindly and chestnut, almost identical to the one you have at the palace in Cotria. 

You and Jihoon had been unpacking your hodgepodge of things (unsorted, since the act of sorting would have forced you to stomach the fact that you were actually moving), when he had found your old lesson books. 

You should break in that piano, he had said. Either that, or wait for your fiance to find you. He seemed ok at the derby today. 

I guess. 

What Jihoon hadn’t seen was all the photographs you had to take after your interview with The Sun, where Joshua decided to remind you that you were supposed to hate him. By that, you mean that he managed to make every single one unbearable. (A tap of the foot: Stand up straight. A careful brush of the elbow: Let’s link arms. A discerning, tactful glance at your chest: Pull up your dress. That, or he was no better than the average man.) 

You and he hadn’t talked much after that. Hopefully, he’s fled to your cold, dark dungeon of a room to read, so he can finally leave you alone.

“Remember when your parents invited all their friends over and asked you to play?” Jihoon says, perched on the loveseat while he sorts through an old jewelry box. 

“Yeah, and I literally forgot everything?” you laugh. “Freaking Jeonghan had to check on me because I locked myself in my room for 24 hours straight. And then he had the nerve to laugh at me.” 

You thumb through the fattest book of the pile. The binding is soft; the pages now yellow and fuzzed over by time. 

On page 5, Chopin's Waltz in A-flat major. three four time or whatever, you had scrawled in defiant red ink. Page 37, a thick black line through Debussy's name on Arabesque No. 1. This is because you would always laugh at it during lessons, and you wanted to save yourself the trouble. 

“Do you want to keep this?” Jihoon holds up a choker that resembles a jock strap. “When did you even wear this? It looks like a cat toy.” 

You ignore him and start to play. You were never excellent—competent would be a better word. Still, it was enough for you. Soonyoung would ask you to play during drunk karaoke, and you could still keep up with Jeonghan when he played one of his overcomplicated duets. 

Your hands remember the velvet thud of the keys, the glide of the pedal. When you turn the page, there’s a scrawled in BITCH! next to a heavily circled allegro. Piano was one of the only things that your parents forced you to do that you actually liked. The kicker was that it didn’t even do you any good. You weren’t as talented as your parents would like you to be, meaning that, to them, you weren’t talented at all. 

It’s then that your fingers slip, and you miss a chord. In your defense, you have a fresh manicure. Always blame the nails. Your mom hated when you kept them long, even more than your hardass tutor.  

“The prince is helping with the theater production this year, right?” Jihoon holds a single earring up to the light. You think you lost the other one in Ibiza last year. “You gonna help out again?” 

“Maybe.” Another wrong note. You’re losing steam trying to read all the ledger lines and your smeared, illegible writing next to them. “I don't know. He probably won’t even want me to. I'm choosing a different piece, by the way. Bored of this one.” 

The truth about your 21st birthday was that you did actually intend to spend it at the youth theater. It was your idea before it was Jeonghan’s idea, but, at the time, you both still were a package deal.

You were on piano; Jeonghan was on whatever else he pleased. He'd always been indecisive like that. At the bench, you’d hoist the little ones on your knee and regale them with the classical version of the opening song from paw patrol. Jeonghan stole prop masks from the back, mostly to hide behind the curtains and scare people, you included. You’d both stay up late, paint spackled on your palms, trying to Michelangelo a backdrop with the combined artistic talent of a TI-84. 

The production became your thing, just you and him, no cameras, no press releases, no parents. But like everything else, neither you, Jeonghan, nor anyone else was able to keep those inevitable truths apart. The set pieces were repainted in Italy, the finger-painted fields turned luminescent with varnish; the pins and needles in the costumes swapped with mother-of-pearl; and, finally, you, replaced by a classically trained pianist from Juilliard. At least he was hot. 

Everyone knows the rest of the story—the red carpet, the empty seats, and the puffy pink balloons outside the mansion in Saint Tropez. 

“Oh please,” Jihoon wheedles. “You and I both know he wanted you there.” 

“Then maybe he should have fought harder.” You flip to a random page, this one marked up in pink gel pen. You remember it bled through all the pages behind it, making it a pain to read but awfully funny during lessons. “It doesn't matter. There’s probably wedding stuff i gotta deal with.” 

Jihoon lets you play this next piece uninterrupted. It’s not that it’s a sensitive subject for you—there were plenty of other things that filled the wedge between you and your brother—but it certainly didn’t help. 

You let your fingers wander over the stubborn keys. It feels good to play, even if you’re almost unforgivably rusty. You reach for the page, when you hear Jihoon again: “You know, you’re allowed to come in, your highness.” 

Immediately, your hands freeze. Like a scolded child, you become aware of how your fingers teeter over the keys, the stumbling, awkward clacking of your nails, the one or two missed quarter notes from the last measure. 

You turn to face the door, where Joshua stands, leaning against the frame like a sleazy model from an Abercrombie catalog. He probably came from the gym. Seeing him dressed down is still very weird, mostly because you can’t decide if it’s because he looks good or if it’s because it reminds of seeing your teacher at the grocery store. 

“Anyone teach you manners?” you ask, unsure if your hackles should be raised. 

“No, I was raised in a barn, just like those horses you like so much,” he laughs. “I didn’t want to interrupt. You’re not bad, you know.” 

“Thanks.” You eye him skeptically. “Thought you were gonna comment on the nails.” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“Preferably not, but it’s not like you‘d listen to me anyway.” You look for Jihoon’s reaction, but he seems to have conveniently disappeared. “Let’s play a duet. I’m cashing in my favor.” 

“Sure,” Joshua replies. “I'm no good, though. Might be more of a punishment for you.” 

You slide over on the bench, and he sidles up next to you. He smells like Le Labo and sweat, the sting citrusy and bright, close enough to linger. 

“No good?” You pick up another fat book from the stack atop the lid: The Joy of Duets. “Me neither.” 

“You have no idea,” he chuckles. “And trust me, I tried.”  

“I’ll do top?” you announce. 

Joshua snickers, and you kick him under the bench (really, just a tap of your foot). 

You spend the next two minutes tripping over a Schubert piece. Terribly, this is endearing to you. You make somewhat of a couple—you, with your horrible form, and Joshua, now squinting at the key signature like it’ll make it easier to read.

“Buddy,” you exclaim. “Left hand goes here.” Laughing, you reposition his hand mid-chord to an octave below. You feel it tense beneath you before yielding to proper technique. 

“Aw, what?” he whines. “See, I told you I was no good. Give me a second.” 

You watch him puzzle over the next few lines, pretty brow furrowed. You conclude that Pajama Joshua is decidedly better than Prince Joshua. He’s funnier, kinder, warmer. Even his hands feel softer. 

“Also, about earlier today,” you start. The words are starting to dry up on your tongue, but you figure Pajama Joshua is an easier target than usual. “I didn't know they trained you in stand-up comedy.” 

“We laugh in this country too, you know.” When Joshua says this, he grins, bumping into your shoulder like you’d been friends for a long time. For once, it feels easy, natural. 

“Well, thanks anyway.” 

“I couldn't leave my fiancée out to dry.” The word must sound ridiculous even to him, because he laughs just the same as he did when he unloaded his ridiculous puns onto the unassuming world. “No really. We’re in this together, unfortunately. It’s my duty.” 

Duty, both the knife and the wound. You can’t say you’re surprised he’s only nice to you out of obligation. So is everyone else, and you don’t know why you thought it’d be any different, especially coming from him. It’s not like you’re wearing your ring now either; you suppose you’re just as guilty. 

“You cross over here,” you tell him, changing the topic. You slide your hand over his, and it bends to you. “Thumb under. Sorry, I couldn't help but notice.” 

“It's ok,” Joshua replies. “I only learned piano because I had to. When I stopped going to lessons, I forgot everything. Now I feel like I put this piano to shame.” 

“Really? Not to stroke your ego, but you strike me as the type to be good at everything.” 

“No,” he chuckles. “Only when I have to be. I actually wanted to learn how to play guitar.” 

“No way.” 

“Yes way. I wanted to have one of those woven guitar straps, get a little pick collection going, be able to play any song from the Beatles discography. All the cliche stuff.” 

“Well, why can’t you?” you ask. “Minus the Beatles thing. Pick better music.” 

“Back then, it never occurred to me. We all learn piano.” 

“That's silly,” you blurt out. “Who cares?” 

“That's a little rich coming from you.” 

You frown, feeling all the usual unpleasantries bubble up through your skin. 

“That's not really fair.” You absentmindedly play a few keys, all disjointed. “Taking guitar lessons doesn’t make you a problem child.” 

“It's not about that, though,” Joshua says. He's avoiding your eyes. “It's everything, together. I couldn't just pick up a guitar and be someone else.” 

“Someone else? You mean you? The real you?” 

“Yes,” Joshua presses. “That's the point. I can't just do whatever I want. Sometimes the real you is more trouble than it’s worth.” 

“Someone’s dramatic. If you do everything the same, nothing will change. Maybe getting into a little trouble isn’t such a bad thing.” 

“Forgive me,” he says, mid-chuckle. “You wouldn’t call this trouble?” 

He’s got you there. Childishly, all your pride hardens to a lump in your throat, one you’ve never learned to swallow. 

“Your family needed our help too, remember?” 

“Yeah, and you think I don’t think about that every day? How, maybe, if I had done something different, then we wouldn’t be here?” 

You feel stung. You don’t know how to tell him that you’ve been trying to figure out the same thing your whole life. If you were a better daughter, you’d have spared everyone the trouble. Unfortunately, you’d gotten it wrong so many times, you stopped trying.

What's worse is that he doesn’t even sound mad—you watch his fingertips ghost over the keys of a C-scale, rhythmically, methodically. Piano scales, this marriage, everything: just things to do on his never-ending list. 

A hesitant knock at the door interrupts any possibility of you coming up with anywhere close to the right thing to say. 

“Prince Joshua, the king and queen need to speak to you.” It’s an aide, probably sweating bullets deciding when and how they should intrude on this wonderful conversation of yours.

“Right,” says Joshua, and when he gets up from the bench, he doesn’t look back. 

—

“You ready to get stuffed?” 

Good fucking morning to you—Somi’s voice, fluorescent through your phone speakers, seems to be enough of an alarm clock for you. Joshua, in the doorway dual wielding a coffee cup and the morning paper, raises a tired eyebrow.

After the events of last night, you’d wondered if he would somehow disappear at nighttime in an effort to avoid his eventual fate (you). Instead, you found him on his usual side of the bed, drinking his usual mug of chamomile tea, in his usual silence. 

You've heard that couples shouldn’t go to bed angry, but no one said anything about indifferent. Then again, you and Joshua are hardly a couple. 

“Ew,” you laugh. “No. Maybe? Should I be scared?” 

“Absolutely. You’re eating your weight in food today because I need your opinion on catering.” 

Smushing your phone between your cheek and your shoulder, you watch the mirror as your wavering reflection puts on a layer of mascara. 

“For your party?” 

“Yeah, although on second thought, maybe it’s a bad idea to bring the girl who’s gonna puke everything up anyway.” 

“My IBS is none of your business. Besides, the real food critic is Jihoon,” you reply. “Sometimes I feel like that’s the only reason he still works here.” 

“You’re coming in an hour, right?” 

You check the clock. No, you are not. You’re only halfway through a full beat and if you don’t get any caffeine inside you within the hour, you will commit a crime. 

“Nope.” You pop open your compact. “I have to change, and I desperately need to locate a coffee. I will suck a fucking bean off if i need to.” 

“I'm hanging up on you,” Somi whines. “It's too early for you to be gross and late.”  

“As if you weren’t talking about getting stuffed.” 

“Whatever.” Click.

At this point, you feel like Somi’s party is both the proverbial and literal light at the end of the tunnel. No expectations, no rules, and no semi-arguments between you and your doomed fiance. 

Then you notice that Joshua’s disappeared from the room—he probably couldn’t stand listening to your end of the conversation. Briefly, you wonder where he is. Off running an errand for his dear parents, perhaps, or maybe at the gym you still haven’t discovered yet. Even from the hefty distance he keeps you at, you can still appreciate a man who looks like he’s touched a dumbbell. 

It's only when you’re halfway out the door, almost an hour later, juggling your purse and your phone and the distinct absence of a caffeinated beverage, that you find him. 

“Come to ruin my day?” you ask, maybe three-fourths joking. 

“Don’t give me any ideas,” he replies. Under the bluebird sky of late morning, lips upturned and eyes bright, Joshua may be a sight you could get used to. Someday. “Brought you a coffee. I can’t have you sucking off a bean—the reporters would go crazy.” 

Jihoon, hovering by the car, chokes on his water. 

“Oh!” The surprise knocks the sound out of you. “Thank you. Really.” 

“Gladly,” he says, and he sounds like he means it.

He holds all your stuff as you clamber into the car, before handing it back to close the door for you. You’ll admit it’s nice, but as Jihoon starts to drive, you feel a familiar twist in your chest.

“Interesting,” he remarks. “Didn’t know you were on a coffee order basis.” 

“We’re not,” you answer. You pop the lid open. It's a cappuccino, made the classic way, milk foam bubbling out the top. Not your favorite, but it’ll do. 

More than that, it’s an olive branch. Yesterday did get weird, but you’re getting the impression that it’ll always get weird. Undoubtedly, there is someone out there who’ll get Joshua. His schedules, his straight-backed obligation, the polished photo ops and the cappuccinos made to a perfect one to one to one ratio. You know this because this is the world you came from, one that should be home to you. 

Instead, you circle each other in an unsure, clumsy dance. You can’t quite get it right. It's all the same now. The bite of a horse saddle not made for your body, the glow of your heirloom ring, now cheapened by your graceless hand, Joshua’s lonely, reaching palm as he disappears in the rearview mirror. 

—

On your arrival home in the evening, you return with two things: a few extra kilos and an absolutely horrendous copy of the Daily Mail, courtesy of Somi, who saw it at the grocery. 

"Great showing from the couple of the year," you say, shucking your copy at Joshua. "It looks like we're in Shark Tale." 

Even from a distance, the cheap ink-spackled cover shows more than enough. LIP LOCK FLOP!, it reads, although you wouldn’t really call it a lip lock. 

It was at the derby—Quick, they’re looking at us, you had said. Then what you would call a nun’s version of a kiss: you, already halfway out the door, and him, lips hesitant and pursed, as if he was asked to smooch his withering, dusty great-grandmother. 

"I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that," Joshua answers, voice level. "It's not that bad." 

He puts his book down to pick the magazine up, holding it at a distance like the image will jump out of the page and bite him. You see his expression flicker, and that's all you need to confirm your suspicions. 

"Ok, it's a little bad." He places it on the nightstand next to him face-down. "It'll be alright. It's not like the wedding will be called off over one bad picture." 

"You know that's not the issue." You sit on your side of the bed, about a full meter away from him. You kind of want to look again just to see how bad it is, but you're sure it'll be inescapable by the morning. 

"Since when did you care what the press thought of you?" 

"Since it mattered." You stare at your lap, eyes fixed on the too-new, wiggly hem of your pajamas instead of him. You can tell he's still looking at you, though–you think those big, watery eyes have some sort of flashlights in them, and you don't like it. "It seems wrong if our mistakes take up space." 

You hear him make a small noise of agreement. Joshua still won't admit that you're right, but you suppose you like that a little. At least he'll be stubborn about something, even if it's about clearly not liking you. 

"What do you suggest?" he asks, putting his book down. “We didn't choose each other, so I'm not surprised there's no attraction." 

"Ouch." He's right, but you'd rather be the one saying it. "I'm a good kisser. You aren't." 

"I'm just not good at kissing you," he retorts. 

"Evidently." You shimmy towards his side of the bed, where the sheets are cooler under your thighs, the pillows still neatly arranged on the headboard. "What I'm saying is that we should at least try to look more realistic. Like–" 

"Are you saying we should practice?" Joshua looks at you over the frames of his glasses, incredulous. 

"Yeah," you say, now too far in it to back out. "Like exposure therapy. For unwilling couples." 

The room gets quiet, as if it wasn't unbearably so before. You watch Joshua pick up his book again. He puts the bookmark in, two-thirds from the spine of the book so as to not ruin the binding, and places it over the doomed tabloid. 

"Okay." To your surprise, he turns to face you. The lamplight catches the lens of his glasses and makes his eyes look warmer than they truly are. "How should we do this?" 

The way Joshua's gaze settles on you makes you feel like you're being evaluated. An exam in Kissing 101, except the test would rather not have anything to do with you at all. For the first time in your life, you let your eyes wander to his lips, rosy and full, and you feel the pit of anxiety in your belly grow wider. Somehow he's managed to take all the fun out of one of your favorite activities, but you'll be damned if he walks away from this thinking it's you who's the problem. 

"Just...let me lead," you say quietly, now leaning closer to him. You have to ease yourself into it. You let your body respond, feel the skip of your heart, a heady flush wash over your cheeks. He smells like spearmint and clover. 

You've kissed a lot of people. None of this should feel new to you. His eyelashes skim against your cheek, and you can hear the breath he takes, quivering, gentle.

Despite all this, the first kiss is no better than any of the other ones. his lips meet yours, hesitant before they start moving. He's shy, and it would almost endear him to you if he wasn't so annoying. But then the charade is over. His nose clocks yours and it startles you both enough to draw away, ever so slightly. 

"Not my fault," you murmur. You're so close, you can see your reflection in his pupils, glassy and dark. 

"Thought this was practice," responds Joshua, unfazed. 

So you lean in again, giving it another go. Two is better—sweet and succinct. a first date type of kiss. You can taste the berry of your lip balm on him. 

Then again, except this time it's him who goes in, chases your lips. 

The scary thing is that you thought this would be much harder. You had stood in the bathroom, looked yourself in the mirror, and psyched yourself up to do the impossible. 

But the moment you meet him, now so close there's no room to breathe, you feel an impenetrable, unshakable desire crawling up your bones. Your palm finds the flat of his chest. Even under the silk of his ridiculous pajama top, you feel the heat of his skin, the restless quick of his heartbeat, and your stomach flips. 

Four, five. You're losing count. Joshua's hand trails up your arm to cup your cheek, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel your breath catch in your chest. 

He's warm, so warm. When your other hand finds the back of his neck, he makes a small sound in his throat and you like it.

It's at this point you realize there is no point in pretending. Maybe you don't want to kiss Joshua at any other moment during any other day, but you do now. You really do. 

When your tongue meets the seam of his lips, it feels all too natural. At first, predictably, he buffers a bit. For a split second, you envision him pulling away and saying you've gotten more than a lifetime's worth of practice in. 

But he doesn't. Instead, an arm winds around your waist and that's all it takes for your body to stop listening to you altogether. Lips still connected, you lift yourself to straddle his lap, right over the folded up covers, and his hands, devastatingly strong, find your hips to keep you rooted there. 

You're starting to think he isn't such a bad kisser after all—maybe he really was holding out on you, but there's something weirdly rewarding about him waiting until he liked you just a little more. Whatever that means. 

You learn that his hair is soft, really soft, at the base of his neck. You learn that he likes when you bite his lips and you learn that his spearmint mouthwash does, in fact, taste as good as it smells. 

You also learn that you, paradoxically, might not know how to love Joshua Hong, but you sure do know how to kiss him. 

--end of part 1--

[part 2 -> ]

[jc4ltm]

Six Days - [6.1] - Joshua / Yehoshua 

I really think that my mind could be taking on too much in too short of a time, or it is condensing the information that it gets, but for the life of me I could not remember the whole conversation that Lou and I had had here before. My mind was fixated on how this was the place and about the time that I had realized who my beautiful friend truly was. Heaven forbids that I have enough room in my poor little brain to store several weeks of information into one week of living. Oh God this had only really been three days, as I look back on it with the clear eyes I have now. What was starting to become the greatest strain was all the parts that did not happen, or I keep skipping over and of course trying to fill in what changed in the times that I seem to keep getting stuck in. This is one of those times. “That was a nice little trick that you played on your brother,” I said in a smug voice, like I finally knew something. 

“I did not play any trick on him. He played a trick on you,” Lou said in a serious voice. “Once you accepted that he was going to lie to you, you pretty much gave him permission to lie to you at will,” and then took a seat beside me, “You can never trust anyone who will outright admit that they will lie to you, because then they know that you will find it charming,” he started laughing and it was strange listening to him try to speak between laughs, “where he really had you was when you bought the whole thing about protecting you from me,” and if it makes any of you reading this feel better I actually knew that was a lie, since Lou had told me the secret to not fearing him, and I don’t. 

Defensively of course I piped right up, “What is so silly about that? I mean you do have a bit of a reputation,” and of course it did not curb his laughter at all, it amplified it a bit. The good news is he does not make me feel stupid at all. I know my role in the whole universe, and technically he should feel dumber the more I learn. It made me smirk as I thought of that at the time. 

He noted the smirk and then decided it was time to educate me some more, “Let me help you here,” and his laughter had completely stopped mind you, “I am going to tell you the things that were true, and then you can add the other parts together. I have no reason to lie, but you need to learn a bit about what is going on here, ok?” and as sick of all these games as I was, I nodded, but very curtly. He started with a far more serious voice then I was used to from him, “The instant you jumped I felt it, and remembered where you were and what had happened, so I simply modified it a bit by coming to you as Jake before Jake came to you.” 

I couldn’t help the need to feel smart so I interjected, “I figured that out because you didn’t get everything he had said right, or more importantly you got everything he said from a future Jake which meant that you must have allowed yourself to get pulled back with me,” and after I saw his reaction I added, “It was very clever.” 

He considered me and said, “I did that on purpose, hoping that you would figure it out, but that is beside the point. Darius fell for it, which was startling to me as well, but it is a blessing in disguise that for some reason in this plain I can trick him if I am clever enough, and the timing is right.”  

He stopped long enough for me to interject into what he was saying, “He forgets everything as it pertains to me every time I go back in time or forward in time, but his eye is still destroyed from a time that you didn’t actually fall into with the rest of us,” and Lou looked at me confused but nodded in his way of wishing me to continue on my train of thought before he added anything more. I did, “I don’t have a clue what any of that means though.” 

Lou smiled, and it was a bit nicer than the serious looks or the laughter. Don’t ask me why but Lou only concerns me when he laughs, “I have some theories but they sound silly at this point,” and he looked at my look of usual confusion and then said, “the most compelling thing is I think his relatively young age in immortality terms affects him during the time shifts. By my standards he is an infant, He would be weeks old, and he resets,” and then he laughed again, “Your new friend’s ability to talk too much appears to be contagious, sorry,” he grinned, which as I said was better. 

I felt smart again, “I had already reached that conclusion, but he is figuring it out. It scares him for some reason, and he always seems to think less of himself every time it happens?” and the last bit came out in the form of a question when I said it. I seriously wanted some help with my assumptions since I was no expert on immortals. By human terms I was, but I still was not in the class of Lou. 

This was very confusing but he started talking backwards to get me into his train of thought, “Ok, I did take Mary, which you had seen before, even though it hasn’t happened yet,” I gasped as the realization that Walter is still alive as time is going right now, “and I did scream to the heavens that I quit because as far as I am concerned if I just keep Darius from hurting anyone then my time will expire, and I will disappear, and that was what scared Gabriel, because he doesn’t want an existence without Lucifer, just like the rest of them up there.” 

“Wouldn’t that just leave Darius to run amuck throughout the world?” I had to ask even though for some strange reason I knew the answer. In fact, I am quite sure I did at the time, but I wanted the confirmation all the same. 

“If I don’t exist anymore then I never existed and every littlest thing I ever did would simply never have existed as well,” he smiled, and my thoughts were confirmed but he continued all the same, “and this is where your new friend decided to lie to you. He knows full well what it means, and he is one of the sworn guardians of my existence along with any of my other brothers, and that is what makes me a little bitter,” and it showed more as he went along that he was bitter, “He had no right to tell you that I bound him to you. He is bound to you because of who you are, and what you mean now to all of this,” he put his face in his hands and continued, “I’m the little guy around here you realize?” 

I started piecing together what he had said so I needed a little confirmation, “I understand how he had lied to me about protecting me from you. It didn’t sink in at first, but it has something to do with the souls that you can take like Mary or Walter,” I tried to think about it for a moment but gave up and just asked him, “What do you mean by ‘I’m the little guy here’ anyway?” 

He laughed again, “I am like the corner market. I run the register; stock the shelves, pay the bills, open the door in the morning, and lock the door at night. I do not have time to expand the deli, or install a new bakery,” his laugh started fading away, “and across the street is the huge mega market. It has several competent employees, and an owner that never has to get her hands dirty. All she must do is keep lowering the prices until I go out of business.” 

My heart was actually filled with pity for him as I said, “You can’t go out of business, because the store across the street won’t let you,” he nodded and grinned a little, “my jumping in and out of time is making it so that you never cross that imaginary line that destroys you isn’t it?” 

“It appears so,” he said back to me in a voice that was breaking up, “and that is why he saved you, so that you can keep me enslaved here until I get Darius and then life goes on,” his expression changed like someone who would be trying to cover up their emotions. In his case it works absolute, and with that he said, “it was a moment of weakness that I saved your life from Mary, and in that instance I knew that I should have let her kill you, so in a way your new friend may have been protecting you from me, because I may not make that mistake again,” his face changed even quicker than it had become normal as he had a look of panic on it, “don’t get me wrong, because I know that your life in this body ends, and you will be going somewhere else. It is a wonderful place. I used to like it a lot, but it appears that the circumstances that Mary had left you in would have taken you there with or without my help, so he interfered with that,” and he looked across the field waiting for Darius along with me and added, “now he has bound himself to you so that he can keep you alive, blame me, and reap the rewards of my being trapped here, regardless of time.” 

I was honestly upset about all I had just learned but as usual the insanity set in and I started laughing again while staring at the sky, “so I have, God, the angels and the devil dedicating all their free time trying to keep me alive. I should think about trying bungee jumping and skydiving since I am guaranteed a safe trip,” my laughter after saying that took on a real measure of insanity too. 

Lou said under his breath, “Trust me, it isn’t as much fun with all the certainty,” he then made sure that I understood the direst of all of this, “you also have an angel of Satan that now thinks killing you is the key to everything. He also tends to be unstoppable, even by the standards of God, the angels, and the devil,” and what he said there came out deadly serious but at the same time with a bit of sarcasm in it. “There is also something that appears to be forcing you in and out of time, which absolutely none of us knows anything about, and that piece of parchment in your pocket that is smarter than all of us.” ... To be continued. 

[blu-joons]

When They Get Clingy Around You When You Come Home From Work ~ Seventeen Reaction

S.Coups:

You groaned once again as you had to stop what you were doing thanks to Seungcheol appearing. “You’re in the way, I’m trying to sort out dinner.”

Seungcheol stepped aside to create the perfect amount of space for you. “Is there anything that I can do? Do you need help?”

“I need space to be able to cook tonight.”

Your head shook as you exchanged a glance with Seungcheol, both wearing smiles. “If you cook that means I have to be away from you.”

“You’ll survive,” you smirked back at him, “dinner will only take a few minutes to prepare anyway.”

Seungcheol reluctantly nodded back at you. “Once you’ve finished preparing dinner, does that mean I can be right by your side?”

Your head nodded, giving Seungcheol the answer that he wanted, “will it stop you moping if I do?”

“Of course,” Seungcheol instantly insisted, “you won’t see my smile any wider if I’m able to stick back to you after being apart.”

“Then I’ll make sure this is quick.”

Jeonghan:

You jumped back as you opened up the bedroom door, immediately coming face to face with Jeonghan. “Were you waiting for me?” You sighed at him.

A slight nod of the head came from Jeonghan, “I wasn’t sure what you were doing so I decided to wait for you outside the room.”

“Why couldn’t you wait for me on the sofa?”

Jeonghan stepped aside so that you could walk out of the room, but still stayed close to you. “The sofa is further away from you.”

“What is up with you?” You questioned, beginning to make your way downstairs, “this is unlike you.”

Jeonghan shrugged as he quickly followed behind you down the stairs too, “I’ve been thinking recently that I should spend more time with you.”

You hummed as you listened to you, “you mean to spend more time or cling more to me?”

“Spend time,” Jeonghan sniggered as he picked up on the hint that you dropped, “although maybe I have been a little bit clingy.”

“Just a little? Are you sure about that?”

Joshua:

You could feel the sofa dipping almost as soon as you sat down, ready to wind down for the evening. “Joshua,” you whispered as he threw himself beside you.

His smile was bright as he looked across to you, quickly snuggling into your side. “Yeah?” He asked, unsure of what he had done.

“You don’t need to sit right on top of me.”

A chuckle came from him as he reached across and took a hold of your hand too, “I’ve spent the whole day by myself you know.”

“I do know,” you assured him, “I’m guessing that you missed me being all by yourself?”

He didn’t even need to think, with Joshua’s head nodding straight away. “I don’t want to spend any other part of this day by myself.”

You smiled weakly as you met Joshua’s eyes, “you’re making sure that that doesn’t happen.”

“Am I too much?” He quizzed, picking to pick up on just how needy he was for your attention and company, “I can move a little bit?”

“No, you’re alright as you are.”

Jun:

The feeling of an arm tightening even further around your waist made you laugh, looking across at Junhui. “I’m not going anywhere, you know that, don’t you?”

He nodded back at you, pulled in by the smile that you wore. “What makes you suddenly say that?” He asked you with a chuckle.

“You’re holding on so tight right now to me.”

Junhui’s eyes flickered down to his arm that was around you, loosening it slightly. “I’m just enjoying the fact that you’re finally home.”

“You only saw me this morning,” you laughed back to him, “you didn’t have time to miss me.”

Junhui’s head began to shake, his smile turning up too. “You just have to be gone for a minute and I start missing you, just like today.”

You struggled to know what to say as you let go of a giggle, “since when were you a sweet talker?”

“It’s just what you do to me,” Junhui suggested in reply, “I wish that I could spend every single second of every single day with you Y/N.”

“That would be pretty cool, right?”

Hoshi:

Your heels dug into the ground as you felt a figure following behind you, coming face to face with Soonyoung. “Can I help you?” You asked just as you met his eyes.

A shy smile crept onto his face, having barely stood up from the sofa. “I was just going to come with you, wherever it is that you’re going.”

“I was actually up to go to the bathroom.”

The smile on Soonyoung’s face quickly disappeared as you informed him where you were going. “I don’t really need to go there.”

“You want to be with me that bad?” You joked, “can’t I have a little bit of space now?”

Soonyoung nodded back across to you, “I wouldn’t have followed you if I knew that was where you were going, just so you know Y/N.”

It was soon your turn to start nodding too, “you can cling to me when I come out instead.”

“Cling to you?” Soonyoung asked, although he tried to smile innocently, he knew exactly that he had clung to you ever since you arrived home.

“You’re stuck to me Soonyoung.”

Wonwoo:

You could only shake your head as you heard a wardrobe door open just as you opened your own. “What are you doing here?” You asked Wonwoo as he looked to you.

He reached into his wardrobe and pulled out a fresh pair of pyjamas, “you’re getting ready for bed, so I thought I’d come and do the same.”

“You’ve followed me around since I got home.”

Wonwoo nodded proudly as he watched you take out your own pair of pyjamas, “I just want to hang out, spend some time with you.”

“Hang out?” You couldn’t help but chuckle, “you know I’d be downstairs in minutes, right?”

He continued nodding as Wonwoo began to change, “I know you’d have come down, but I just didn’t want to hang around and wait for you too much.”

Your smile turned up as Wonwoo shyly looked at you too, “someone sounds a little needy.”

“I’m always needy for you,” he admitted with a hum, “but I’m especially needy when I’ve had to wait far too long for you to come home tonight.”

“You can blame my boss for that.”

Woozi:

Your eyes glanced down as once again you felt a finger prod against your side, looking at Jihoon’s soft smile. “What’s wrong?” You asked, feeling his eyes staring back at you.

He reached across and took your phone out of your grip, placing it on the bedside table. “I’m much more entertaining than your phone is.”

“I was in the middle of playing a game.”

Jihoon shrugged as he turned back to face you again, “you were late home, unfortunately bed time is the only time when I can see you.”

“You missed me?” You grinned, knowing what he was hinting at, “is that why you’re so close to me?”

Jihoon felt silent momentarily as he realised just how easy it was to read him for you. “It’s not fun being stuck in the apartment all by yourself you know.”

You nodded in agreement, “it’s a good job you’re making up for that now by clinging to me.”

“I’m not clinging to you,” Jihoon tried his best to argue, “I’m just wanting a little bit of your attention, seeing as you’re finally home from work.”

“You’re definitely being clingy Jihoon.”

DK:

Your head shook once again as Seokmin came into your office, asking if you were ready to head to bed. “I’ve still got a couple of bits to do,” you explained, not even looking at him.

It wasn’t good enough for Seokmin as he walked into your office and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, “I’m ready to head to bed now.”

“You can head to bed; I’ll join you in a while.”

His head shook as you finally turned back to look at him, “I want to head with you, I’ve barely had the chance to see you all day Y/N.”

“I’ve got work to do,” you sighed, “I don’t know what the right thing to do is with you like this.”

A faint giggle came from Seokmin, “I can give you a bit of advice as to what I think the right thing to do is, think of the cuddles we can have tucked up in bed.”

The corners of your smile soon turned up, “you do make that sound a pretty tempting offer.”

“Come on then,” Seokmin grinned, taking a hold of your hand. “You and I both know that deep down you can’t say no to me Y/N, you adore me.”

“You keep thinking that, Lee Seokmin.”

Mingyu:

A chuckle came from you as Mingyu’s grip around your waist tightened as you tried to walk. “You can’t hold onto me forever,” you laughed, feeling your back press against his chest.

A shrug of the shoulders came from Mingyu, “I’m not letting you go and do anything else other than spend time with me and give me your attention.”

“I can hardly breathe with how tight you’ve got me.”

With that, Mingyu’s grip loosened around you ever so slightly. “You’ve done enough without me today, let’s do something together?”

“What do you want to do?” You enquired, “is there anything that comes to mind for us to do?”

Mingyu pondered for a moment before shrugging again, “honestly, I’m more than happy to do anything right now as long as I get to do it with you.”

Your eyes rolled at the proud smile that was on his face, “you’d be happy just doing nothing?”

“Exactly,” Mingyu chuckled, “I thought maybe you’d like to do nothing too seeing as you’ve had such a busy day at work, you didn’t get home until late.”

“I suppose doing nothing does sound good.”

The8:

Your eyes rolled as a pout formed on Minghao’s face, watching as you stood up from the table. “I just need to go and work in my office for an hour or so,” you explained to him.

Minghao continued to pout across at you as he tried his best to get his way. “Why can’t you just stay with me? Or bring your laptop in here?”

“You don’t normally mind me working too much.”

His head shook as he tapped the space beside him, “I just want to spend a bit of time today, even if you end up working beside me Y/N.”

“You really want me here that much?” You chuckled, “nothing is wrong with you, is it Minghao?”

His head carried on shaking, “does there have to be something wrong with me? Can’t a guy just want to spend some time with his partner for a while.”

You nodded in reply to him, “it’s just unlike you to be as clingy as this, not letting me go.”

“I guess today I just don’t want to let you go,” he smiled sheepishly, tapping the space again, “are you going to leave me and do your work?”

“I guess that I could bring it in here.”

Seungkwan:

Your heels dug into the ground as you went to walk, held back by a pair of arms that were wrapped around your waist. “Seungkwan, I need to go,” glancing down at his hands on your stomach.

His head shook as you met his eyes, glancing behind your shoulder. “You’re not allowed to go anywhere, not unless I can com with you too.”

“Are you sure that none of the boys are free?”

His brows furrowed back at you, loosening his grip. “Why are you asking if the boys are free? Don’t you want to spend time with me?”

“They can deal with your neediness,” you chuckled, “why don’t you cling onto them instead?”

Seungkwan let go of a laugh too as he rested his chin against your shoulder, “what’s wrong with being clingy? It’s only because I missed you.”

You hummed in agreement back at him, “I have things to do, and you’re not letting me.”

“Let’s do them together,” he suggested, “I’m sure that you’ll enjoy doing them a lot more with me around, I bet deep down you missed me a lot too.”

“I miss you when you’re not stuck to me.”

Vernon:

You could hear the sigh of relief that came from Vernon as he walked around the house, finding you in the bedroom. “Are you alright?” You quizzed, eyes narrowing on the shy smile that he wore.

His head nodded as he leant against the doorframe, watching you closely. “I was starting to panic where you’d gone, I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“I just came up to take my makeup off for the night.”

Vernon took a few steps forwards into the room, “I thought maybe you’d gone out somewhere and just forgotten to tell me.”

“Where could I have gone at this time of night?” You laughed, “it’s pitch black outside now.”

He glanced out of the window, taking a look at the sky. “I don’t really know, I guess I just panicked as to where you were for a few moments.”

Your head shook back across at Vernon, “don’t worry, I’m not going to go very far from now.”

“Good,” Vernon smiled as he sat down on the bed, “I wouldn’t want for you to leave me by myself now, you’ve done enough of that all day already.”

“I’m right here, I haven’t gone anywhere.”

Dino:

A sigh came from you as you felt a hand grab onto your wrist and pull you back down as you stood up from the sofa. “What are you doing?” You laughed across at Chan with a shake of your head.

He had a pout on his face as he watched you closely, “where are you going? Why are you leaving me?” He asked, keeping his voice nice and quiet.

“I’m only going to grab my phone from my bag.”

His hand reluctantly loosened from around your waist, “you have to come back as soon as you’ve got your phone, right back to this spot.”

“What has gotten into you?” You joked, “you’ve been stuck to me like glue since I got home today.”

A shrug of the shoulders followed from Chan, “I just missed you a lot today, I don’t want to miss out on anymore time with you than I already have.”

You smiled back at Chan as you stood up again, “I’ll be back before you can even say I miss you.”

“Be quick,” Chan scolded as you seemed to hover for a moment before beginning to walk across to your bag. “I miss you,” he added, making you hurry.

“I’ve never seen you as needy as this, ever.”

---

Masterlist

[sourholland]

congrats on 1k!!! i have a blurb request, could you do something with timmy catching feelings for the reader, but he can't be with her because he's already seeing someone? also he doesn't cheat (v important). thanks lol 😖

late blurb requests !

Lauren is amazing.

She’s the perfect girlfriend. Between her understanding demeanor and undeniable compassion, everyone truly finds something to love about her. Lauren’s the type of girl you bring home to meet your mom. The type of girl you feel safe with.

Worst of all, Timothée knew all that.

She had this way of making her presence known, that was one of the first things he’d noticed about her. That, and her bright red hair in a cluster of brown haired friends at that club one night so many months ago. He got her number, they went out a few times, and he asked her to be his girlfriend.

Things didn’t get messy until you came around seven months into their relationship. You were completely oblivious to the fact that he had made himself sick with guilt every time he was around you. He didn’t mean to harbor the illicit feelings, he truly didn’t.

And you were utterly clueless.

You and Lauren weren’t quite friends, but more so acquaintances. She worked with your ex-girlfriend, whom you were with when you met her and Timothée. Once you and Olivia broke up, you got into a relationship a few months later with Joshua.

Josh was also quite integrated into the friend group. You’d seen each other while getting drinks within the group, but didn’t actually converse until after you were single. Timothée had hoped and prayed he wouldn’t have to see you when the split with Olivia took place—this wasn’t the case, though. It was only a matter of time before Josh’s arm was around you, a bottle of wine in a soft pink gift bag for the dinner party Lauren wanted to throw.

The whole night, he tried to look away from you. He willed himself to look at his beautiful girlfriend, to relish in the fact that he was in a relationship with such an amazing woman. Your laugh, he thought to himself. It was like the feeling of listening to your favorite song in the car with the windows down on the highway.

And god your smile. He had never seen something quite so lovely. Every time you looked his way that night, a blush seemed to spread over his cheeks. It was only the rush of guilt that came after that made him wish he could just send you home and never have to see you again.

“I absolutely adored your new movie, Timothée!”

He spent the next half an hour rambling on and on and on about his career. You sat listening intently, nodding and speaking at all the right times. He wished he could ignore the way you scrunched your nose up, or swirled the red wine in your cup.

Once you’d left, he offered to clean up the table while Lauren got ready for sleep. When he got to your placemat, he picked up the glass you’d been drinking from all night and noticed the stain of red lipstick where you’d been sipping. Without thinking, he brought it straight to the kitchen and rinsed it away so he’d never have to look at it again.

A month or two later, Josh informed the same work group that you two had broken things off, but would still remain friends. Timothée assumed this was just the normal break up excuse, until Josh invited you to the club they usually inhabited on Saturday nights.

The whole night was spent watching you throw back shots of tequila, throwing your arms around people on the dance floor. The way you pressed your body against the nearest stranger had him almost seething with unwarranted jealousy. He watched you flip your hair, press your lips along the jaw of a beautiful girl with the most lovely russet complexion, and go through alcohol like it was nothing.

He hated himself for not being able to tear his eyes away. Hated himself for wanting you.

Lauren wasn’t stupid, she wasn’t oblivious like you. Her eyes flickered from you to him, but strange enough—not for a minute did she resent you. Only him. She noticed you scribble your number onto a napkin for the girl you’d been dancing with, doodling little hearts around the numbers. Lauren waited for his reaction, met with his look of complete and utter hatred for himself. He looked torn, like he wanted to be anywhere else in that moment.

And then you yelled a quick and flattered goodbye across the bar, something about deciding to head out for the night. He watched the girl lean in and kiss you on the lips, saying something about texting you. Her name was Nora, she had a pretty smile and dimples. Timothée picked up on this while he studied the interaction.

“See you guys!” You shouted with a drunken smile. “My uber is out front.”

Taking a drink, he felt Lauren’s present when she sat down on the barstool beside him. Looking over at her, he knew she knew and that there was no way to relish in his own self pity at this point.

With a final glance at you, he saw the door of the bar close. You were gone.

[solarwonux]

31. Why haven’t you kissed me yet?

college!wonwoo x reader

w.c 1.4k 

warnings: angst, mentions of alcohol

note: haha hey I’m laura and I like writing angst. Tbh this took a turn I did not expect, but also this might be part of something bigger that’s coming later on this year. Let me know your thoughts please all kinds of feedback is helpful and I read everything. I hope you like it <3 

ps. I edited this in a rush so I’m sorry for any mistakes.xx

masterlist || drabble game

It was stupid.

Joshua’s idea to play truth or dare was stupid. You should’ve pretended to walk away to get another drink in order to avoid the embarrassment you were currently facing, but sadly the odds were never in your favor. And the small room you were currently in with the last person you ever wanted to be stuck in a room with, was becoming stuffy and overwhelming. 

It’s not like you hated Wonwoo per se. He was simply someone you didn’t care about, your feelings towards him were indifferent, didn’t matter nor did they exist. 

At least that’s what you told yourself. 

The unfortunate truth was that he had been someone you were secretly crushing on for all three years that you had known him. And Joshua knew this, which is why he had decided to play matchmaker when Wonwoo had picked dare over truth. 

Your heart started pounding when instead of protesting he accepted his faith and extended his hand for you to take. He led you towards the vacant room at the end of the hallway, your friend’s hollering and making all sorts of incredulous comments. When the two of you were finally safe inside the simple tiny room, the only sign of life was the small black duffle bag next to the wooden wardrobe; Wonwoo let go of your hand and sat down on the twin-sized bed. While you stood by the door gripping the sleeves of your tie-dyed long sleeve, a gift from your best friend Vernon, wishing you could leave. 

Five minutes had passed and only an awkward thick air of silence filled the room, until Wonwoo decided to break it. “Are you just going to stand there the entire time, you can sit down you know?” 

“Oh, right.” You nodded uncrossing your arms from in front of you and sat down on the floor with your back against the door. Wonwoo scoffed and leaned back on his elbows eyeing you through hooded eyes. 

“That’s not what I meant but suit yourself.” He said smugly before rolling his eyes and shifting his attention to the wardrobe on the far left off the room. 

Fourteen minutes. 

All you needed to do was endure fourteen minutes of this torture and you’d be able to go back to ignoring each other and pretending like your feelings for him were nonexistent. 

So far only six Mississippi’s had gone by.

“How long do we have to be in here for again?” Wonwoo broke the silence again, the tension was thick and so far it seemed like you were the only suffocating in it. 

“Um...only eight more minutes.” You brought your knees up to your chest and hugged them tightly. He was now looking at you and you couldn’t tell if it was indifference or disgust. After three years of knowing him...barely you couldn’t differentiate between the two and it always plagued with you a wave of anxiety. “I mean I’m not counting or anything it’s just...um yeah I think eight more minutes maybe seven now.” 

If you could rip your tongue out of your mouth to keep yourself from embarrassing yourself any longer you would. 

“Alright.” Wonwoo mumbled and sat up again resting his elbows on his knees in a poor attempt to close the semi large gap between the two of you. “Why have you kissed me yet?” He smirked before placing his chain against his thumb. 

Your eyes grew wide and the air your lungs stopped at the base of your throat. He was only playing with you. That was all he was good for, but you couldn’t deny the soft palpitations of your against your rib cage, “I...um I thought that was your dare not mine?” You quirked your head to the side and tightened your arms around your legs. Your fingernails dug in your clothed shin and the panic started rushing through you when you noticed that he was now making his way towards you. 

“You’re kind off making it hard for me when you’re all the way over here, so I’m giving you the reigns on this whole stupid game, but time is ticking and I’d rather get this over with sooner rather than later.” He finished and sat down in front of you, copying your position and resting his chin against his knees. 

Sometimes you wondered why you harbored such stupid feelings for the boy in front of you, especially when he opened his mouth. Nothing good ever game out of it but then again he never stayed in your presence long enough for you to decide otherwise. He always left as soon as he saw you enter a room or approach the same table your mutual friends were sitting at. The few times he did stay and it was very few, everything he said got under your skin. More so if it was directed towards you. 

“It’s a game right?” You questioned resting your back against the door. He was now too close to you and although he looked adorable you wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. Five minutes left. You breathed out, “And no one can see us, so we don’t have to kiss. They’re not going to ask because they’re too drunk and have probably forgotten by now.”

“Ashk, you’re no fun.” He blew out a raspberry, fogging up his round glasses and blowing his bangs away from his forehead briefly. “Just like you said...it is a game but I also don’t want to end my night without kissing someone.” He leaned back on his hands and extended his legs on either side of your body trapping you in. “Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen on parties and friend trips? There has to be at least two people hooking up.” He winked, tapping the toe of his sock covered foot against your side causing you to move away slightly. 

“I’m sure you can find someone else to satisfy your needs then.” You shrugged and tore attention away from his soft deceiving brown eyes and focused them on the stupid brown wardrobe. It had become the star of the night. 

“I want that person to be you though.” Wonwoo whispered his calloused fingers had found their way to your chin and turned your face carefully to look at him again. Your knuckles had gone white from how hard your grip was on your legs. 

“W-Why? You don’t like me, hate me for some unknown reason so why show an interest now that you’re a few to many drinks in?” 

Wonwoo laughed lowly, his thumb caressing your cheek and slowly traveling to your parted lips. You weren’t gonna lie if you had had a few more drinks in your system you would’ve given in to his touch and worshipped the ground he walked on. But you knew your limit and had stopped taking bitter tequila shots an hour ago. 

“You’re wrong, unfortunately I don’t care enough to hate you. Frankly, I don’t see what my friends see in you but you’re cute...kinda enough to satisfy me for a night, atleast.” He tilted his head to the side and retreated his hand letting drop to his side. 

He looked better when he kept his mouth shut, you concluded. 

Thankfully you were nearing the one minute mark. Now after his confession and the utter jabs he had made towards your heart made you realize the thing you should’ve realized a long time ago. Jeon Wonwoo was an asshole hiding behind his god given looks and he didn’t deserve your attention or your heart. 

“Find someone else then.” You pushed yourself off the floor using your entire strength. You could feel his glowing glare watching your every move as you opened the door to the room, kicking his foot in the process. Forty six minutes were left but you couldn’t stay in his presence any longer.

Six pairs of eyes were on you as soon as you came into view, obviously waiting to see what or hear of what had happened behind the closed door. Thankfully for you and unfortunately for them nothing had had happened and you had never before gotten the urge to kill someone as much as you wanted to murder the one and only Joshua Hong. 

“You guys wasted your time.” You said before walking past them and down the hallway listening to their curiosity take over before the questions started up again. You didn’t care the only thing in your hazy state was the burning feeling of tequila as it traveled down your throat. Alcohol wasn’t the best way to deal with a heart break; it only led to a piercing hangover, but it would help in surviving the remainder of the night and keep you from crying. The last thing you wanted and needed was to cry, Wonwoo didn’t deserve your tears so you weren’t going to give him that feeling of instant gratification. 

At least not now.

[hongnanglen-arina]

Forget me not | Hong Joshua

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Joshua x fem reader

Warnings: sick!reader, dementia

Words: 3k

A/N: Hey there! So here it is, my first angsty fic on here. I’m currently going through this myself but writing it down helped me cope with it a bit. Of course having to deal with this syndrome/disease is anything but romantic or nice but i tried to make it less bad if you know what i mean... anyways, i really hope you don’t have to deal with this in rl. Please be healthy!! Love you ♡

Tagged: @love-dreams​ @seokcalibur​ 

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

The first time Joshua knew that something was off was at your birthday party 5 years ago. When you talked too fast, often times you mixed up the names especially the similar ones. You nearly forgot the cake in the oven. Luckily your cousin noticed it. During the party, he thought you were just too excited or too stressed because you wanted it to be perfect. You’ve always been like this.

But when you were alone in the kitchen after everyone had left, you asked him about the special occasion of the party. You couldn’t remember it was your birthday.

He had laughed and thought it was a joke. But it wasn’t. 

The questions increased, more and more random reactions happened until he couldn’t leave you alone anymore. 

Once he was at a market with you. It was a lovely saturday afternoon. You two enjoyed those short getaways a lot. You would randomly choose a place up to 3 hours away from your home and would drive there, spent the day or even the whole weekend there and would go back happily as if you had a little vacation. That day you had decided to split up so he could secretly get the little bouquet of roses for you before joining you at the grocery store to help with the bags. The bouquet was placed securely on the backseat of your car when he stepped into the grocery store, looking for you. The store wasn’t too big so he was sure that it wouldn’t take long to find you. No sign of you at the fruit corner, the pastries, alcohol nor the snacks corner. He just couldn’t find you. He even asked the workers to call your name through the speakers because he started to get worried. 5 minutes passed. 10. 15. Still no sign. He didn’t want to bother the busy workers a second time so he made his way back to your rented apartment for the weekend. Maybe you wanted to start preparing dinner because you’ve been always like this. You never wanted to get help if it wasn’t really necessary. This was one of the reasons you two would get into an argument but those never lasted for long. 

When Joshua got into the car and drove down the street in the direction of your apartment, he saw you sitting at the bus stop, crying. He immediately stopped the car and ran to you, he thought his heart had stopped beating the second he saw in what kind of state you were.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He tried his best to speak in a calming tone but it was very difficult. Joshua didn’t know what was wrong. What happened. What he missed out on. He was mad at himself that he left you alone, no matter what the reason for your tears was.

Your eyes lightened up a bit when you recognized him beside you on the bench, looking down at his hands which were holding yours, thumbs rubbing soothingly over your cold skin.

“I’m such a bad mother! I forgot to prepare dinner for our kids! I have to go back and cook. They must be hungry and waiting!”

It wasn’t what Joshua was expecting to hear. 

Especially because your two children were already living in other cities for work and university. He didn’t understand right away. Again, he thought you made a joke but when his eyes met your glossy ones and he tried to find the right words.

“Love, they aren’t with us anymore. You don’t have to prepare dinner for them.”

This was the wrong choice of words. You started to cry uncontrollably, worse than before. Because you thought they had passed away.

Later on he learned that he had to “play along”. That this would resolve almost every situation with people who were suffering with this syndrome.

The other time you just wanted to throw away the trash. It was just right outside the apartment complex so he thought it would be okay. The big bins were just beside the entrance, in a separate place only residents could enter since the gatekeeper was always around. You didn’t have to go that far, it was still the same building. But what was a task for 10 minutes maximum under normal circumstances became a horrible memory for Joshua and probably you too. 

Because you got lost somewhere between leaving and closing the apartment door and the moment Joshua found you. In the hospital.

Until now, he didn’t know what exactly happened on that day. But you got hit by a car when you crossed the street at a red light he was told. Even after asking the gatekeeper, he couldn’t help you because after seeing you, he got a call and didn’t pay attention where you were going after exchanging greetings.

Joshua’s fingers slightly touched your knee, the scars from the accident still evident. He was mad at himself. He thought moving to this place would help you recover and made you happier. In some aspects it did. Living on the 23rd floor with a breathtaking view over the Hangang river and all the nice lights once it got dark outside was something you two had always dreamt of. Being able to take a walk at the park next to the building and having some slice of nature around was exactly what you two wanted in this huge city. Always joked about growing old and admiring the view together. 

He never thought it would become like this.

He didn’t know why God had chosen you.

He used to believe that everything happened for a reason. That you would only get good things if you do good.

He was raised to believe in God. 

But after everything, it was difficult.

He even caught himself hating God for making you suffer like this.

He just couldn’t help it.

“It’s cold.” Your words pulled Joshua back to reality and he quickly got up to get your favorite blanket. The fuzzy fabric that you fell in love with when you were at an amusement park together a month before you got married. You always took great care to everything and everyone around you so it was no surprise to him that the blanket still looked exactly like it did when he won it for you. Although it hasn’t gotten the same care anymore after you weren’t able to do chores by yourself again. Joshua asked you what your secret was in maintaining it but as much as he tried, he just wasn’t as talented as you. 

He wrapped you in your blanket and made sure that you felt warm and cozy before walking over to the open kitchen area to prepare tea. Your favorite organic herbal infusion. 

While he was waiting for the water to boil, is eyes traveled to the side and to the wall which was decorated by different photos. Every single one holding a deep meaning.

A selfie taken on a ferries wheel. The moment he confessed his feelings for you. He planned everything to the smallest detail and wanted it to be romantic. Throughout the evening you asked him several times why he was carrying a bigger backpack. The reason was a bouquet of red roses. That day he wasn’t fully himself because he was too nervous but it still worked out. He succeeded. Joshua smiled at the memory.

Beside that was a photo from your wedding. The beautiful dress that you wore was something he had never seen. He was speechless and had to swallow down the tears. He couldn’t believe that he was the lucky guy marrying this ethereal woman in front of him. In this photo your eyes were a little puffy and nose slightly red because you couldn’t help but to cry through half of the ceremony. He could still hear your whines when his best friend asked for a photo. The smile remained on Joshua’s lips while remembering the moment.

Then photos of your children. The first born, then your second 3 years later. Time really passed by too fast because now they weren’t living with you anymore. In fact, your first born would become a father himself in a couple of months. 

Joshua looked over to you, the smile changing to a painful expression. He wasn’t sure if you would understand who it is when your son would come over with his baby. 

Once the tea was ready, he put everything on a small tray with some fruits and walked back to you.

You were still at your favorite spot. At the table in the dining room which was right in front of a huge window, allowing you to have a beautiful view on the Hangang river and the Paldang bridge. Joshua would catch you smile from time to time, sometimes even getting an answer from you why you were smiling. When there wasn't a smile on your lips, your eyes would be watery as if you had remembered something sad. Every time he would ask you and often times he would be surprised what the cause was. The fact he would randomly learn new things about your past even after knowing you for over 40 years now was surprising to him. But the doctor once told him that those things could also be dreams or wishes that you would mix up with reality. Sadly it was common.

He helped you with the tea, blew over it and held the cup while you took a sip. Every time you would thank him but without saying his name. It was painful but he tried to hold his smile.

“They look like the flowers we have in our garden. They are so beautiful. My mother loves them. Me too.”

Joshua turned around to a painting on the wall. A painting of small flowers, little blue petals with white and yellow centers. Forget-me-nots. 

You painted it after getting the diagnosis. At that time, it wasn’t this severe. You were still able to do everything by yourself although you stopped from time to time because you weren’t able to remember what you wanted or why you were doing something. But the both of you were scared of the future.

It wouldn’t just go away after some time like a flu. There was nothing you could do, no antidote. Just medication which would temporarily improve the symptoms, distracting you from the real process. You knew that one day it would become so bad that you may hurt him.

The reason you painted the flowers was because you wanted to break up with him. You wanted a divorce. Not because you stopped loving him, it was because you loved him. You hated to ask for help. You hated to bother people, especially him. People who meant the world to you. You wanted him to live his life without you as a burden because dementia meant you would need help until the very end.

You wanted to give him the painting as a gift, like a symbol of your time together. That you were thankful for everything and hoped he would keep all the good memories in his heart. You didn’t want him to hate you and you really hoped he would understand. If not now, then later. The divorce would give him the freedom he deserved. He shouldn’t see you miserably and take care of you when you can’t recognize him anymore.

That was the biggest fight you two had. 

Joshua was more than hurt of the decision you had made alone. But he wasn’t the only one in pain and he saw it in the way you were shaking as you tried to explain everything. He knew that something was wrong with you some weeks prior to your fight where the bomb dropped. You didn’t eat normally, you denied his ideas for a night out, you didn’t smile as much as you used to. You just avoided his love and wanted to be alone more and more.

In the end he convinced you to stay. Joshua told you that he swore to care for you until his last breath. To be there for you in good but also in bad times. He would be understanding if the syndrome would mess with your brain or body again. It was his purpose to be there for you. He loved you. Just as much as you needed him, he needed you as well. Even if that meant to be in the situation he was in right now.

"You really sing so beautifully. You should become a singer!"

That's what you would say every day after he played the guitar or sang his favorite song for you. And his reply would be the same as well, every day.

"Believe me or not but I was a famous singer once.”

And you would always giggle and think that he made a joke. But it wasn’t.

Joshua was 2 years older than you but then again, healthy. Unlike you who was suffering from dementia. 

He knew you didn't do it on purpose but it always hurt him so much, he had no word to describe the pain. Knowing you weren't able to remember all the happy moments you two went through made his heart ache. No matter how often he told you about your adventures, your experiences and life lessons, you would forget about it right after. But he still did it again and again. At least he had a lot to tell you about and somehow it was a way of not forgetting it himself. Some kind of therapy for himself. But often times he struggled because he couldn't remember it clearly and it was always a lonely feeling as you couldn't help or correct him.

Joshua checked the secure on the wheels of your wheelchair, making sure it wouldn’t move. He slowly got up to his feet to turn on the heater on the other side of the room. It was getting cold inside and the tea was gone already.

When he first heard about dementia, he thought it was losing memory only. But as he educated himself more and more, he learned that it could also mean the loss of mobility and the loss of speech. 

Luckily the latter hasn’t happened yet and he prayed it would stay that way. 

That was one of the reasons he believed in God again.

He felt selfish but he had nowhere to go. No place to let everything out.

When he prayed to God again, he felt bad and pathetic at first but it gave him the strength he needed.

He prayed that you wouldn’t be in too much pain.

He mentioned his gratitude for still being with you.

He was thankful for the chance to be a good husband to you.

Absentmindedly, his fingers found his cross necklace. You weren’t in a good state and of course everything could be better without dementia but being there for each other must be the life lesson here. Even without a marriage, being with the person you love and supporting each other was one of the most important things in life. He didn’t know how it would be, if the tables were switched between the two of you. Maybe that was why Joshua understood your idea of the divorce although he decided against it. If he would have to choose again, his decision would be the same. 

He didn’t want a life without you.

After turning on the heater, he joined you again.

He was watching you smile with tears in your eyes.

He asked you what was wrong but you didn't react, instead your gaze was fixated on something outside the window. He wanted to help. He wanted to turn back time but he couldn't. His wish was impossible to become true. 

Joshua reached forward, grabbing two clementines from the tray he had brought earlier and started peeling them for you. You two used to do it for the other when everything was still okay. Before the drastic change had started. Now you've never done it for him again but it would never stop him from doing it for you.

Carefully taking your hand and placing the peeled fruits in it, you made a surprised noise, giving him a soft smile.

"How do you know I like them? Say, what's your name?"

He tried to smile back. The same question he would hear every day.

Leaning forward, he gently rubbed your arm through the blanket. "My name is Joshua." ...and I'm your husband, he added in his thoughts.

You pulled out your arm from under the blanket and carefully touched his hair, letting the fingertips graze his cheeks until he grabbed your hand and kept your hand like this, leaning in your palm and closing his eyes for a second before placing your hand back down in your lap. You still wore his bracelet. The one he made for you with pastel colored beads. 

Every day you would ask where you got it from but Joshua made sure to tell you about it every time he heard this question. At least you two would always have topics to talk about, he always told himself.

“You are so kind to me.” 

Your soft voice made him look up to you and then he saw it in your eyes. He saw that deep down you haven't completely forgotten about him and that was all he needed. That was what kept him going, day after day. You were and will always be the love of his life after all.

And that would never change. Never.

[rocketink]

LOST AND FOUND

In which you lose your stuff all the time but your first-floor neighbour somehow always has it for you. Or, in a soulmate world, your soulmate finds everything you loses and reverse.

pairing: minghao x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, crack + neighbor & soulmate! Au 

wc: 2.2k+

warnings: none I think (this type of soulamte thingy is kinda crazy tho). Btw this is my first au so I’m sorry fpr any mistakes!! + English is not my first language so apologies :)

notes: I migh turn this into a series since I’ve thought about some details here and there as I wrote this au?? What do you think?? 

The situation inside your apartment has turned unbearable, and you know should have moved with Joshua when you had the chance. He wasn't the closest of your friends, but you're sure it would have been more comfortable with him rather than third-wheeling your roommates.

Now, you don't hate Mingyu and your best friend, you just think they are disgustingly cute. You feel very happy since you've seen them pining after each other for a while now (all the furtive glances they sent to each other when they thought nobody was looking was like being inside a rom-com movie and it was hilarious at first. It eventually became too much to handle). You've never seen two more oblivious people inside a room, it was exasperating. Things began to turn serious when they discovered they were each other's soulmates and they've been seriously dating ever since.

It's great, really, but why do you have to see each of their displays of affection? Or, should we say, why doesn't the time to find your soulmate finally get to you?

Because you know, deep down inside you, that the problem is not that they have a soulmate. The problem is that you don't find it.

"Good morning, love." Mingyu greets your friend with his deep morning voice, and gives them a kiss on their temple. "Good morning, Y/n." He gives you a tiny hug and you growl.

"It's too early for being cute don't you think?" You ask joking-not-so-joking.

"Feeling grumpy at eight in the morning? Woah, breaking your own record." You laugh at what your friend says and they laugh too. You don't mind being like this, just why does it have to get so awkward sometimes?

"Guys another disgrace has happened." You announce solemnly. "I have lost my jacket"

"Again?" Mingyu judges.

"But didn't you wash it yesterday? It must be hanged with the rest of the clothes."

"I checked when I woke up because it's cold and it wasn't there."

"It was pretty windy last night, maybe it fell?" Your friend suggests and they grin. "Maybe Minghao will bring it back to you later?"

Ah, here we have the other reason why you want to move to a lost town somewhere in Australia: Xu Minghao, your first-floor neighbor, the one that has an apartment to envy because of his small, well-decorated courtyard. You don't envy that, though, because your clothesline is right on top of his courtyard, and sometimes he has to bring you all the clothing items that fall into his yard. You don't know how all that ends up there, you've tried everything: from securing your clothes with more pins to tying it to the clothesline. But none of that ever works, and he always goes all up to the third floor -where you live- to give it back to you with a smile and a 'see you soon'. How does he know it's your clothes? You made sure to tell him the first time this happened.

Just like your friend predicted, that afternoon Xu Minghao knocked at your door.

"Hello." He greets with a friendly smile and your heart melts.

He's too adorable to handle.

"Hi, Minghao. Don't bother I think I know why you're here." You joke at your own clumsiness and he laughs with you too.

"You must have been cold without it." He seems worried and you shake your head.

"Don't worry, two layers of blankets made up for it."

He puts his hands into his pockets and smiles shyly and you feel your heart bursting off. When he leaves, you notice your jacket smells like him.

Ah, how you wished Minghao was your soulmate.

Things get more complicated when the finals approach. You can barely stand even after drinking your daily coffee and you spend day after day coming and going from home to the library. You are so focused and stressed that you barely pay attention to anything else, and you've lost from pens to your entire case. All of them safely brought back home by Minghao. You do not know how or when you threw your case through the window for it to end up at Minghao's yard, but he always brings some hot chocolate and a small talk with him, so you do not complain.

After all, you don't even remember how you wake up every morning by the end of the day. You end up thinking you need to control yourself a little more during finals.

One day it gets out of hand. You've probably had the worst of the days. You woke up late because you didn't hear the alarm clock, your roommates being all lovey-dovey already got you on your nerves, your exam was harder than you expected and you had a bad feeling about your answers. Then, when you finally got home, late and tired, your keys were nowhere to be found. You could feel your eyes getting watery and you knocked at the door. Nobody answers, your friend and Mingyu are celebrating their anniversary and you don't want to bother them even if all you want is a hot shower and watching a romantic without friends to cuddle. You immediately think of Minghao, would it be too much if you asked him to spend some time with you? You answer to yourself that yes, it would be too much, there's no need to bother anyone else. So what do you do now?

"Y/n?" Somebody asks behind you.

"Minghao?" And there you have it, just the one you were thinking of.

"Hi, uhm, are you okay?" You want to cry to that question, but you manage to hold back your tears.

"I'm fine I just- I must have lost my keys because I can't find them and there's no one home and I just want to sleep." You explain briefly.

"Are these your keys?" He holds something in his left hand that looks like your keyring -a framed pink paper with your name on it and a little olaf your sister once bought you-

"How did you find it?"

"I didn't, it appeared in my yard". He is as confused as you are.

"But... I remember I put it inside the pocket of my bag." You explain. "When I arrived it was opened so I just supposed they fell out. And there's no way they fell into your yard because they are always inside my bag, I never threw them... Why would anyone throw a keyring through my window? I-" You try to explain without taking a breath so that Minghao doesn't think you're a weirdo, but now you can't fight back your tears and Minghao looks worried.

"It's okay Y/n, don't worry, I understand. Well, I don't, but I know you didn't do it. Hold on let's get inside I'll make you some hot chocolate and we can watch a movie, okay?"

You nod without thinking, just wanting to be lulled into some peace. He makes you some hot choco as promised and makes some small talk while choosing a movie to watch.

"So where are your roommates?" He asks.

"Celebrating their anniversary."

"Wait, are they dating?"

"Didn't you know?"

"No? I'm so shocked what the hell." You laugh at his astonished face. "But are they...?"

"Soulmates? Yes, they are."

"Woah, lucky."

"I know right." You don't want this topic to surface but you can't help but ask. "Have you met your soulmate?"

"I haven't." After a few seconds, he adds, "have you?"

"No, not a single clue of who they are. I don't have a timer or a tattoo, or see them in my dreams... I'm getting tired of waiting. Overall watching the two lovebirds every day of my life."

"It is the same thing for me. I'd love to meet them or just to know how they are. I know I'm young and all that but I'm just very curious and almost all my friends have met them while I still don’t know how to find them. I feel left out."

You nod, relating to that feeling.

"By the way, if it gets tiring, why don't you just move out?"

"I don't know where to move to be honest. I don't know if I want to go through the 'look for a new apartment' process again, it's too tiring. Besides, I still have fun with them, they're not to blame for my loneliness."

Minghao laughs and looks away.

"Just so you know, I'm moving out next month. I found another apartment for a better price and I'm going to leave the one I have now. If it gets too unbearable, you can just take my place." And you are too focused on yourself to notice the sad look on his face.

Because Minghao and your little encounters made your whole living in a student's apartment life better, and you don't want him to go away. But you are just a neighbor in Minghao's life, so who are you to tell him that?

Minghao moves the following month just as promised, and you can't remove the moping face you wear.

"Why are you so sad Y/n? I've seen the new neighbor, he is as hot as Minghao." Your friend winks and you roll your eyes.

"I don't care. If he doesn't pick up my stuff then I don't want him."

"I've heard he is all the time arguing with their other roommate. Maybe they leave sooner than expected and Minghao comes back!"

"Don't be mean, Gyu!" You nag and he shrugs.

Somebody's knocking at the door distracts you from your conversation and both of your friends turn to look at you.

"Why do I always have to get the door? There's no Minghao now, I don't want it."

"Maybe is your new blue prince"

"Shut up, Mingyu."

But when you open the door to a frowning Minghao, your heart backflips.

"What are you doing here Hao? Is everything okay?"

"I am a little concerned." He shows you a small necklace you recognize immediately. "What was this doing in my house?"

"I lost it last week at university! I didn't know where it went." You try to answer.

"To my room?"

"Look, I also don't know what was my necklace doing in your house in which I've never stepped a foot in because is like five kilometers away ... Oh my god Hao did you walk here?"

"I took the bus." He looks down and then right at you. "The last time I saw you you were wearing it. I've been thinking for a week how did this get there since I haven't seen you in a month, I never took it and I know for sure you are not a stalker who would leave their necklace inside my room when nobody’s looking."

"Have you reached any conclusion?"

"Absolutely none. Then I talked to Jun and he said some of the romantic trash he usually thinks of, but this made me think."

"What did he say?" You don't know what direction this conversation is taking.

"He's a soulmate expert you know? He told me that maybe it’s because destiny wants us to meet again and I thought that couldn't be because oh god, what have I done to deserve you? Then I decided to make a little experiment and I'm really nervous because if this doesn't work out I might have lost the most important thing to me. Do you mind checking your room?"

You feel everything inside you revolving because of every single one of his words, but still, you do as he requests. You check your room, ignoring the question marks over your roommate's heads, and find nothing different. Except for a new notebook on top of your nightstand you hadn't noticed. It's a sketchbook, and all of the drawings on the inside are signed with Minghao's name.

"Is this yours?" He sighs in relief when he recognizes the sketchbook.

"This is a part of my life, you know?"

"Then how did you lose this?"

"I told June to leave it somewhere I didn't know so that I couldn't even look for it. I wasn't sure if it was going to work."

"I can't believe the universe does works like this."

"Me neither, but I'm glad it did."

"So, you said this friend of yours is an expert in soulmates?" You don't want to ask it directly, but you want to know if he's implying that you two are soulmates.

"Yes, I used the s word." You both laugh.

"Does this mean that you and I... You know."

"Jun told me this type of soulmate is rare, but it has happened under easier circumstances. All I know is that I keep finding you every time and I don't know if I ever want to stop finding you."

"OH COME ON JUST KISS ALREADY." You hear Mingyu shouting from the kitchen. "Babe, now I know how Y/n felt with us."

You want to laugh at Mingyu and tell him 'Ha, suffer you loser', but Minghao has other plans.

When he kisses you everything just seems simple and suddenly everything is fine, and you don't want to stop doing it. It's warm, it feels as if you had lost and found the most important thing in your life.

"Hold on then why did I never find anything yours?"

"Y/n, you break the kiss just to ask this?" You blush and he sighs. "I'm a very organized person, unlike others, so I barely lose things, happy now?"

"No. Does this mean that if I get lost in a crowd would you magically find me? You know, since I got lost."

"I don't know Y/n, and I don't want to find out. Now come here, I want to cuddle."

"Oh, yes. Finally."

[cheoliehae]

121U! - jeon wonwoo // seventeen au

❖ soulmate: you are able to communicate with your soulmate via a special chat room but you are both unaware of who you are due to the username

❖ a/n: hi everyone, so if you been here since the beginning of my blog you know that i used to write bts text au and that I also have skz au writing account. well since im in my 3rd year of uni i started to write to relieve stress and it’s really fun. so enjoy this idea i had that was og for my skz blog. if you haven’t figured it out yet I took inspiration from Day6 song 121U (aka a bop) as well as A Cinderella Story (you know the one with Hillary Duff, a CLASSIC). It is unsure how much i will write on this blog since again i only write when i am relieving stress so until next time enjoy :)

❖ word count: 1.6k (legit one word away from 1.7k)

❖ paring: jeon wonwoo  x gn reader

❖: high school au, soulmate au

Ah, high school, a time where smarts and social status do not mix well together. You are either lucky enough to be a part of the popular crowd, being invited to all of the hottest parties, and dating the hottest people. Or get a normal student focusing on their studies and not giving a crap about any social status that one may obtain. Walking down the hallway with your earbuds in your ear you didn’t care about the people around you. You were just at school to study and graduate knowing that you were destined for greatness after high school.

“Excuse me,” you heard a voice coming from behind you. Pulling out your airpods you were faced with Mina and her group of followers. “Can I help you?” you questioned her as you had no idea what she wanted from you. You have never even said two words to her before this moment so you were highly confused about what was happening. “You are walking slowly and my locker is right there so can you please use your two legs and move faster please,” Mina motioned for her hands to move. Rolling your eyes you did just that and proceed to walk into class.

“Hey y/n you look, not good,” your best friend Joshua as he saw you sit down at your desk. Setting your head down a small sigh left your month “I hate Myoui Mina with a passion, I get it she is popular but does that give her a reason to freakin pick on everyone like come freakin on”. Joshua extended his arm and gently pat you on the back “there their y/n, rant to your best friend,”. Raising your head up you saw Mina walking into class with her boyfriend Wonwoo as his arm was around her. “Great this is going to be a long day,” you set your head back down and moped.

As time passed by you started to get bored in class as you finished all of your assignments. You opened a new tab on your laptop and entered into a chatroom. A smile grew on your face as you got excited seeing your friend mrbookworm was online. A bit of backstory mrbookworm is actually your soulmate but you felt really awkward calling him your soulmate since you had no idea who he was.

ouasunshine: hey i see that you are alive

mrbookworm: yeah i finished my classwork a bit early so i wanted to see if you were on or not

mrbookworm: and just like i expected here you are :)

ouasunshine: i am highly convinced that you are just on this chat room 24/7 waiting for me to come online

mrbookworm: you would be disappointed if that was false ;)

ouasunshine: dont get cheesy with me.

A chuckle left your mouth knowing how much mrbookworm made you feel. But it sucked that you did not know him in person cause you really did believe that if you did your whole world would be different. He seems like the type of person who really did not care about social status or what others think of him. 

mrbookworm: how are your classes today?

ouasunshine: the normally but I did have a lovely run-in with one of the ‘popular’ at my school

ouasunshine: let’s just say it was not really the highlight of my day

mrbookworm: :( im sorry you had a rough day I wish there to make you feel better

ouasunshine: i have to go, the bell just rang

Packing up your backpack and quickly walked out of the classroom trying your best to avoid any more interactions with that clique. Which for once was in your favor as you didn’t run into any of that crowd for the rest of the school day. Your absolute favorite time of the day was when the last bell rang and you were able to go to the library. It was quiet and wasn’t too crowded unless it was midterm or final season. The librarians were also very appreciative that you came during your free time and helped out. “Y/n, I just wanted to let you know that we are going to close up a bit early so don’t be alarmed okay,”. “I won’t Mrs. Park,” you said with a smile on your face and then returned to your book. 

As time passed you were getting lost in your book. “Excuse me,” looking up from your book you say Wonwoo standing in front of you “Um can I check out a laptop?”. “Sure but the library is closing early so you have at least 30 minutes before I have to ask for it back. ID please,” you held out your hand. He handed it to you and once you scanned everything you handed it back to him. You watched as he walked away and returned to your book. Looking over at the desk that was in front of you you saw your phone buzzing. You moved forwards to see if anyone was in your line of sight and if anyone could see you, let’s just say you were in the clear.

mrbookworm: if you were picking out a book for me, what book would you recommend?

ouasunshine: what makes you say that I am a reader?

mrbookworm: well for one thing your soulmate is a bookworm aka i am a bookworm 

mrbookworm: i kinda hope that my soulmate is one too

ouasunshine: Are We There Yet? by David Levithan. It is about two brothers who go to Italy and they end up falling for the same girl but neither of them knows. It is pretty good. I give it a solid ⅘ but it definitely breaks the love standards that we are used to.

mrbookworm: wow i can’t imagine a system without soulmates

ouasunshine: i feel like the system of soulmates will still exist but people won’t know see the signs unless they are truly in love

mrbookworm: do you think there will be a possibility that we would be soulmates without this whole soulmate system.

ouasunshine: that is really hard to say

The clock hit 15:30 and you had to leave. So you logged out and looked around for Wonwoo to get everything back. “Um hey so,” you said walking up to where he was sitting out. “Oh is it time already?,” he said looking at his watch and then back at you. “Yeah, sorry for kicking you out I guess? I mean I know we are open later than this but you know closing hours aren’t my rules to make,” you said looking at him. “No no I understand, do you think I can check out a book or will it be easier to get it tomorrow morning?”. “Probably come tomorrow morning then you have more time to actually look for your book if you have no idea where it is located,”. “Yeah I think that will be my best bet. Thanks for the help y/n,”.

You were taken aback by him saying your name was this was one of the first time that you have ever had a conversation with him. “No problem, Wonwoo,: smiling back at him as you walked him out before locking up.

As the night was drawing to an end you were laying in bed finishing up an homework assignment. It was a simple reading so it was nothing heavy but you did wish that time would pass faster. A ding from your computer and you saw the lovely notification from your soulmate.

mrbookworm: two truths and one lie?

ouasunshine: hello to you too,

ouasunshine: what are you doing lol

mrbookworm: i’m bored and I don't feel like bothering my friends

ouasunshine: so you wanted to bother me?

mrbookworm: you’re my soulmate ;)

mrbookworm: you are kinda stuck with me forever 

ouasunshine: i mean i guess i can spare a minute or two

ouasunshine: ummm

ouasunshine: my favorite cake is red velvet, i played soccer as a kid and i’m 75% certain i was a butterfly in my kindergarten school play.

mrbookworm: oh that is an easy one

mrbookworm: it's the butterfly one

ouasunshine: i wish you can hear me laugh

ouasunshine: it is actually the cake one

mrbookworm: you’re lying

ouasunshine: no i believe that i have a picture somewhere.

ouasunshine: i was either a butterfly or a flower but i have a picture somewhere

mrbookworm: well when i meet you in person you will have to show me

mrbookworm: but what is the lie?

ouasunshine: i really don't like red velvet cake

For the rest of the night, you were talking to your soulmate. And just like you wished for at the beginning of the night the hours did fly by when you were talking to him.

Arriving at school early you walked straight to the library. You unlocked the door and headed to the main deck and pulled out the book that you were reading last night. And to your surprise the first person who entered was Wonwoo.

“Good Morning,” he said, walking up to the desk with a smile on his face. The soft curls from his hair lightly hit the top of his glasses. And the grey sweatshirt that he wasn’t helping his case and we really did look nice. “Hey morning, are you here to look for that book from yesterday?”. “Yeah I am looking for Are We There Yet? by David Levithan,”. Your head lifted from the computer and stopped typing mid-sentence. “No there is no way,” you thought to yourself. “Is there something wrong? Is it checked out?”. “No it’s not that, it’s just I recommended that book to someone yesterday, it is one of my favorites,” you said looking away. “Oh same, well not me recommended but it was recommended to me,” Wonwoo said looking down at the ground.

“This is a very out of the blue question but are you mrbookworm? Again totally random questions and if you aren’t that this is highly embarrassing,”. Wonwoo just looked at you and smiled. “Hi ouasunshine, I’m expecting to see that picture of you as a butterfly one day, maybe over coffee?”. “I would really like that,”.

[strawberista]

⚅ — @skater-brain asked: — ⚅

⚅ — 🔄 or your choice — ⚅

Delphic Maxims Prompts

060. — Be jealous of no one.

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

After that guest had left, Hanekoma had had to close the shop and take a break. He silently prayed Joshua wouldn't notice, but he couldn't manage staying calm. Even after he'd breathed and settled himself, the comment had left him shaken, broken down. He'd tried to shove it under his breast, to make himself believe he was fine. He wasn't fine. The thoughts had festered and corroded within him and made him sick. Absolutely nauseous.

Hanekoma laid down across his bed, book tucked under his chest, and just squeezed his eyes shut as he fought against the tight pull in his chest. The squeeze in the pit of his stomach. And in the darkness behind his eyelids, he saw visions he didn't want to see. His gut twisted into knots as his imagination went wild, and he could feel the warmth and love and devotion.

"Someone he worships."

". . . Spoken for more than the surface level. . ."

". . . For the sake of your own heart. . ."

It was too late for all of that. He felt sick. He felt broken. He felt so incredibly angry.

"Such a goddamn idiot..." he whispered. "Why the hell did I say anything at all? I wish... I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid..."

Regret was such a rare sensation for him. Even bad experiences were good, so he never felt regret. But... he regretted this... he regretted all of this. He wished he could tear his own heart out and throw it into the ocean. He had never hated himself so much. Hated Dorian. Hated someone he didn't even have the information to place. And God, he wished he could hate Eanas, too. If he hated Eanas, maybe this wouldn't hurt so badly.

He wished he were more angel, as emotionless as they could sometimes be.

He drew in a deep breath as he turned on his bed, and he opened the little book right to the correct page. He'd turned to it so many times in these past few months, reading and re-reading and re-reading again. Trying to place all of his feelings there. Trying to let the feeling die in the pages.

"What kind of 'kitten' do you want to be?"

Yours. I want to be yours.

That whole scenario felt ridiculous now. Eanas had probably been laughing at him that whole time, inwardly chuckling at the audacity of this idiotic little kid. He's got a crush, how cute. Eanas had probably thought it all quite hilarious. He had known then how closely tied in he was to other people. Why hadn't he just said that? Why had he strung Hanekoma along on that whole conversation with a breath of hope, with an inkling of a maybe?

Maybe he'd just wanted a good, funny story to relay to Dorian later. Maybe Dorian was laughing at him now, too.

Hanekoma slammed the book shut and covered his eyes with his arm, squeezing them shut as embarrassed tears pricked the corners. He had wanted to be proven wrong, when he went to Eanas. He had wanted to be told that he could be loved and held and wanted. He had wanted Eanas to tell him that he was being silly for thinking he didn't have a place here, that he would be happy to love him.

But of course that hadn't happen. He'd been lead around in circles instead. Because Eanas had already had those people in his life. Because he already had someone that he loved and cherished and wanted. Because Hanekoma really didn't have a place in Eanas's life. Or a right. He was just entertainment.

And Hanekoma hated that he felt that way. He'd serve his heart on a plate to Eanas if he felt like it would make him stop caring. He'd give anything to get rid of this emotion. Jealousy was such an ugly thing, and his whole body was riddled with its stench. He wanted it to be gone from him, to be able to feel the soft friendship he had when they'd first met again.

But there was nothing he could do except rot away like aged meat, and so he rolled away to pick up his phone and contact Joshua. He couldn't recover, so he didn't need Joshua coming around and worrying about him. He chose to send a text instead of calling. He was sure if he attempted to speak now his voice would crack.

Joshua: I am sending this to request that you not visit the café or my apartment today. I have business to attend to, and I will not be able to tend to you should you arrive unannounced. I will not be able to help you. Therefore, it is in your best interest to push any planned visits back to tomorrow or some other date in the near future. Remember that I always love you, little dove.

With a sigh Hanekoma dumped his phone onto the bedside table and rolled over again to bury his face in one of his pillows. It was so juvenile for him to feel this way. This wasn't an emotion he should feel as an adult, especially for someone that had never been his to begin with, but he couldn't make it go away for the life of him. He couldn't stop it. He would just have to rest today and hope that tomorrow was better.

[iiwontgiveuponmilkk]

Prison World

Kai Parker x reader

*not my gif

A/n: Soulmate au. I got this idea from two fanfics I read. Currently unedited with a horrible summary :/

Summary: Y/n can’t control her magic and with her link to Kai it doesn’t take long for the Gemini coven to find her

Word count: 2259

Warnings: none?

*1994*

Y/n never quite understood the tattoo that magically appeared on her rib cage. Just under her breast was the Gemini symbol and the initials MP in oddly neat writing. It was the mark of her soulmate. The tiny marking made her oddly curious. It wasn’t unusual for supernatural beings to have a soulmate mark. In fact, only the supernatural beings got them, but they rarely showed up at the age she received hers. She was only fifteen when it burned itself into her skin. That night was also the first night she discovered that her magic was beyond her control. The loss of her grandmother nearly flooded Mystic Falls. Twice. So of course, it didn’t take long for the Gemini coven to find her in 1994. The coven had discovered Malachai’s mark before sending him to his personal prison world. All they had to do was wait for another cosmic event to send the twenty year old into the prison world as well. 

Arriving in the prison world felt like she had been sent to hell. Y/n was all alone, and incredibly confused. She searched for hours to find someone. She even went home, but no one was there. Y/n had no idea what was happening. Was she dead? Mystic Falls was completely empty. It was just her, all alone. Y/n was so confused and slowly starting to panic. She searched the house, trying to figure out what had happened. When she entered the kitchen, her attention was immediately drawn to the cup of coffee and the morning paper on the table. Her dad always read the paper before work in the morning. She picked up the paper. May 10th. This paper was over a week old. How could she be here? She began to read through the paper. There would be an eclipse today. She looked up at the clock. It was in exactly two hours. 

*1997*

Living in this world was, well, it was hell. Y/n had spent three years alone. At first, she spent her time trying to figure out why this place had been created, who it was for, and why she was here. She had two leads. One in Mystic Falls. Another in Portland. She spent a lot of time in Mystic Falls. Partially to investigate what happened at the Salvatore boarding house, and partially so she could be close to the only thing she had left. Her family home. But eventually she convinced herself to go to Portland. She was terrified of what, or rather who, she might find there. A part of her knew she would find him there the second she connected the dots. Parker family. Portland, Oregon. Massacre. Her mark.  This world had been created by the gemini coven for Joshua’s son. Malachai Parker, her soulmate. That’s why she was here. Her soulmate had killed four of his siblings. Her soulmate mark had gotten her into this hell. She was stuck here to make sure he could never access the real world.

 Y/n had packed her things and was off to Bell’s for snacks. Then it was off to Portland. She found herself racing across the country in a blue camaro, courtesy of a Bell’s customer who left the keys on the dash. She had a road map with her. She had carefully marked the easiest route from Mystic Falls to Portland. Yet she always found herself lost. Y/n kept missing her exits as her mind raced with what was going to happen to her. What would he do to her? He couldn’t kill her. Well, he could, but she would come back when the world reset. She was worried what he could do if he had magic. If he was stronger than her, she wouldn’t be able to stop him. Her four day road trip ended up taking her twice as long. She couldn’t count the number of times she had gotten lost. When she finally arrived in Portland, she pulled into the first gas station she saw. There had to be a map of the town, or at least just the state. She dug through the maps until she found what she was looking for. She began setting up to do a locator spell. She was pulling candles out of her bag when she froze at the sound of the door opening and the bell above it jingling. She slowly stood up, turning to face Malachai. 

“Hi. I’m Kai. I’m a sociopath.” The man smirked at her.

____

When y/n woke up, she was terrified, but nothing was happening. Her magic was gone. She had no idea where she was. The room she was in looked like it belonged to a teenage boy. Y/n turned her attention to herself. Her hair was still wet, but she was in dry clothes. She panicked looking down at the shirt she was wearing. It wasn’t hers, and neither were the sweatpants she was wearing. Had that man changed her clothes? Why did he take her magic? And what did he want with her? Her head was spinning. She had to get out of here. She quietly shuffled to the window and opened it. She tried to pop the screen out, but she had been spelled in. Her heart felt like it was in her throat with how hard it was beating. She slowly made her way to the door, finding that it was unlocked. She was hoping that she hadn’t been spelled into the room, and luckily she hadn’t. But that meant she was spelled into the house, and she didn’t have her magic. She slowly moved through the house, trying her best not to make any noise. She was almost down the stairs when the next step loudly creaked. Her breath caught in her throat as she heard footsteps approaching. “G-get away.” She stuttered out. Y/n felt hopeless without her magic. Kai stopped in his tracks, looking at her. He almost found her state comical. He knew he wouldn’t have stopped if he hadn’t seen her soulmate mark. His initials. His handwriting. His “coven”. He put his hands up, sighing almost as if he was annoyed by her behaviour. Y/n stared at this man, her voice caught in her throat. Neither of them moved for what seemed like hours. Finally she spoke up. “Why did you take my magic?” Her voice was quiet and still seemed panicked. “Well, you see, I don’t have any magic of my own. And you seemed to be bursting with it so I thought I’d take some. I know, what an abomination.” He rolled his eyes, but then continued. “Your magic will be back before you know it. You’ll be all juiced up after you rest.” Kai seemed to be bored with her. “You know, I was going to keep you here as a little magic battery, but then i saw your little mark and I had to laugh.” He chuckled, his eyes never leaving her. Y/n felt like she was frozen in place. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. “The universe is so funny. Of course my soulmate would be someone who is overflowing with magic when I don’t have any of my own. And of course my coven would send you here. God, how dumb could they be.”

*2003*

Y/n had come to know Kai in ways that she didn’t think she could. She knew what he had done to his family. He was sent here to be punished for his crimes. She was sent here due to their soulmate mark and bond. She didn’t think she could grow to trust the monster she had met in 1997. She didn’t think she could ever think of him as anything but a monster, but here they were. Kai was making Christmas dinner with her sitting on the counter, and definitely in his way, but he wouldn’t tell her that. Over the past six years, y/n had learned of Kai’s past. How his family treated him for being a siphon, something out of his control. How he was seen and treated as an abomination. How he wasn’t allowed to touch anyone for his entire life. Her heart almost aches for him. A part of her could understand him, but another part, in the back of her head, clung to the fact he had done atrocious and unspeakable things. Yet she still found herself climbing into his bed when she couldn’t sleep, holding his hand when she was starting to lose control, and even almost kissing him on multiple occasions. “You know, I’m starving.” She spoke up, looking up from her book. The aroma in the kitchen was causing her to salivate. “Dinner will be done in thirty minutes. Please don’t get hangry. I’ll have to restart the whole meal if you bring this house down on us.” He joked, causing her to glare at him.

Y/n laughed at the sight before her. Kai asked if he could “borrow” some of her magic to do the dishes. She agreed, knowing it would at least be amusing to watch. And it was. It was also an absolute mess. Kai had dropped multiple dishes, shattering them. Only uttering a small “oops” each time before trying to concentrate on his task. He loved hearing her laugh, and as much as he hated to admit it, he loved being around her. He wasn’t sure why his coven had sent her here, he knew it wasn’t for him. They probably thought locking her away was the only way to make sure he never got out. He stopped wondering why she was here two years ago. That was the first time that he opened up to her. He had chosen to basically ignore her for a long time, but she almost brought a house down on them with an earthquake, crying that she felt so alone and just wished she was dead. He tried to blame the mark for how he felt about her after he started to grow close to her, but he knew that wasn’t true. Some people live their entire lives without finding their soulmate. Some supernatural beings never even got one. Some got them after being alive for three hundred years. It wasn’t the mark, but he just wanted something to blame for these feelings he was having. Kai could barely believe someone could know what he was and not think he was an abomination. But there she was, laughing as he failed at washing dishes with magic.

“You know, I got you something for Christmas.” Y/n mumbled, pressed to his side and wrapped in a blanket with him. They were sitting outside, star gazing. Y/n had wanted to sit outside and look at the stars every Christmas night. Last year, she finally told Kai that her and her parents used to do this every Christmas after everyone had finally left to go home. “I thought you said no presents?” He asked, lightly squeezing her to his side. “We both know what I said and what I meant are two different things.” She laughed, pulling herself away from him. She reached into her sweater pocket, handing him a small box that was delicately wrapped in red paper with green ribbon and a bow. Kai took it from her, opening it carefully. She watched him, almost impatiently. He could tell; the closer they got, the stronger their bond seemed to be. He opened the small decorative box to find a black velvet ring box. He smirked, cracking the box open. There was a silver ring with a hollowed line around the band. “Are you asking me to marry you?” He asked, making her laugh. “Oh god, Kai. It’s a present, not a marriage proposal. Besides that’s your job.” Y/n rolled her eyes, glaring at Kai in a playful way. He laughed and slipped it onto his middle finger before he reached into the pocket of his jeans. “I didn’t wrap it, but I did get you something.” He told her as he pulled a delicate necklace out of his pocket. He put the necklace on her without giving her a chance to look at it. He brushed her hair out from under the chain as she picked the pendant up off her chest, admiring it. There was a (f/c) gemstone in the middle surrounded by an elegant halo of diamonds. It was small, but beautifully full of detail. “Thank you.” Y/n whispered.

*2007*

“Malachai Parker! If you’re joking right now, I will kill you.” Y/n said, staring down at Kai who was down on one knee, holding a ring in his hand. “I’m not, y/n! God! Will you marry me or not?!” She could feel how nervous he was. His energy seemed to be pulsing through her, almost making her nervous. “Stop being so nervous. Of course I will.” She laughed as he jumped to his feet, planting his lips on hers, and kissing her hard. When they finally pulled away for air, Kai rested his forehead against hers before grabbing her hand. He slid the ring onto her ring finger before kissing her again.

[svtwritess]

Chapter 1

➬ warnings: sexual content

➬ word count: 6.2k

➬ pairings: wonwoo x reader, mingyu x reader, joshua x reader 

➬ genre(s): fluff, angst, smut

➬ college!au, vampire!au

You loaded the last of your boxes into the moving truck and stood at the back of it contently with your hands on your hips. Finally, you were off to university, and with your best friend of 20 years nonetheless. Everything the both of you needed seemed to be in the truck and the things that needed to be secured with rope or tape were fastened properly. With a great effort, you reached up and pulled the door of the truck down and locked it, entrapping all of your things safely inside before you headed into your house. 

You entered your house, feeling relieved as the air conditioning overtook your body. Loading the truck had made you quite sweaty. You heard your and Wonwoo’s parents in the kitchen, so you made your way to the spacious room. Upon entering, you saw both sets of parents leaning against the counter by the sink, and Wonwoo on the island next to none other than his male best friend Joshuaz

The pair met the first day of your freshman year of high school and they instantly became best friends. They were both pranksters but responsible enough to know when to stop. They loved picking on you together the first two years of high school, but in the beginning of your third year Joshua became much more mature, seemingly in the blink of an eye. Over the summer, his face became more structured, he grew taller, and he had large muscles in places he didn’t seem to have any muscle at all in before. Naturally, you found yourself attracted to him, and him to you, but neither of you dared to make a move because of your joint friendship with Wonwoo. You didn’t want to make anything awkward for him. However, at a beginning-of-year party that one of your school’s basketball players held, you found yourself hooking up with him in a dark and desolate bedroom. The only person you had ever kissed before him was Wonwoo, and that was when you were both in elementary school. You didn’t have sex that night, the two of you just made out with Joshua initiating some light petting. You liked it. You really liked it. But you and Joshua made a pact not to do it again and to never tell Wonwoo. 

Though, of course that didn’t go as planned. You hooked up a few more times, but you only ever did so at parties. It then got to the point that you’d sneak over to one another’s houses in the middle of the night, the activities the pair of you would partake in becoming more and more sinful with every visitation until eventually, you lost your virginity to him. He was kind and gentle and non-judgmental; he was the perfect first time. And second time. And third time. And fourth time. 

After your fourth liaison, when you both realized there was no end in sight, you decided it was time to tell Wonwoo. You brought him his favorite food and watched a few episodes of his favorite food with him before breaking the news. Needless to say, he was furious. He kicked the both of you out and didn’t talk to you for two whole weeks. During those two weeks, you and Joshua couldn’t find it in yourselves to do anything close to hooking up, so you kept your distance as well, only conversing when one of you would ask the other if they’d heard from Wonwoo. 

After a little while, Wonwoo forgave you, but for some reason continued to keep his distance from Joshua. You never knew why. But on the day of graduation, when everybody was congregating and celebrating in the middle of the football field, the two males made up with a simple hug. They probably realized that they only had one summer left together and didn’t want to spend it holding whatever grudges over each other. You were happy that they made up, but you decided it was best to not see Joshua in any way other than a friendly one after that, and he agreed. Though you had many aroused and lonely nights over the summer and Joshua was less than a mile away, you kept it to yourself.

That’s why Joshua hopping off of the counter and running over to pull you into a hug caught you slightly off guard. You hadn’t seen him since graduation day, but you knew him and Wonwoo hung out all the time. It didn’t bother you, you knew they needed bro time. 

You hugged Joshua back with a small smile and felt him lean down so his luscious lips were level with your ear. 

“I’m gonna miss you when you leave.” he said quietly and you chuckled. 

“You were fine without me the past three months, I’m sure you’ll do just as well the next four years.” you replied.

“Who said I was fine without you?” he inquired, and before you could ask what exactly he meant, he pulled away from you with a smug look on his face. Your cheeks were very obviously red from his unclear words, but you shook it off for no other reason than because your family and best friend were in the room and you had to. 

You reeled your thoughts in as you walked over to Wonwoo and your parents, Joshua returning to his spot on the kitchen island. Wonwoo gave you a look that said he knew something suspicious had happened between you and Joshua, but he wasn’t about to bring it up in front of your families. 

“Well?” your mom questioned causing everyone in the room to look at her, “Are you guys excited to head off to college tomorrow?!” she was very clearly excited for the both of you, even though you knew she’d miss you and tell you that far more often than necessary. You’d miss your home and your family as well, but you were extremely excited to move out, live with your best friend, and finally get to experience independence. 

“Well duh.” Wonwoo responded playfully, his deep voice coating your eardrums. 

“Are you guys living in dorms?” Joshua asked. You shook your head in response.

“Nah, we found an apartment off campus that we’re gonna live in,” you said and Joshua just nodded.

“Well, when something happens, just remember to use protection.” Wonwoo’s dad said as he brought his cup of water up to his mouth to take a sip. Meanwhile, Wonwoo’s mother nearly spit out her beverage at her husband’s remark, hitting him on the arm while the rest of you tried to stifle your laughter. 

It wasn’t an awkward thing to joke about, really. You recognized that Wonwoo was attractive, but having been friends for such a long time and seeing him do so many weird and disgusting things, being attracted to him was something you never really thought about. He’d always thought you were pretty as well, but again, he expected those few kisses the two of you had shared because of triple-dog-dares at the age of 7 to be the only times he did anything more-than-friendly with you. 

“Okay, I think I’m gonna go upstairs and clean up.” you announced to the group. You bid Wonwoo’s parents goodbye with a hug and did the same with Joshua, though his obviously felt much more sexually tense. 

You made your way toward the stairs, Wonwoo unknowingly in tow. 

“Am I spending the night?” he asked, startling you beyond belief. You clutched your chest and held onto the railing as you turned to look at him. He had a small smile on his face and a curious look in his eyes. 

“Yeah, if you want,” you said as you turned back around, the two of you continued up the stairs. “It’d be easier since the truck is over here.” you said nonchalantly, and Wonwoo simply nodded. 

He followed you into your room and plopped down on your bed, instantly pulling out his phone and beginning to scroll through it. 

“Can I shower and eat here too?” he asked, glancing over at you as you rummaged through your drawers to find some pajamas. You settled on a slightly cropped black t-shirt and some checkered pajama shorts.

“You know the answer is yes, you’ve been doing that stuff since you were 5. Why do you feel the need to ask?” you chuckled as you closed the drawer, standing up straight to look at him. He merely shrugged.

“I don’t know, we’re just older now, so it feels a bit weird you know? Being up in each other’s houses all the time,” he stated, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Well we’re about to move in together, so get used to it!” you shouted as you headed toward your bathroom. 

“That’s not what I meant!” he yelled back as you shut the door. You just laughed at him, put your pajamas down, and turned the shower on. You took off your clothes and checked to make sure it was a comfortable temperature. When you stepped inside, you let the warm water consume your body and mind. 

You tried not to think about Joshua’s “who said I was fine without you” line or his extraordinarily good looks and instead tried to think about the people you could potentially meet at school as you washed yourself. Maybe, hopefully, you’d meet a guy or girl that you really liked there. Joshua was really the only person you’d done anything with, and though you’d done plenty, naturally you wanted to broaden your horizons. Would you hook up with a bunch of people at frat parties? Would you meet that one person who you’d pine over and think about constantly until finally they admit their feelings for you? Would you be stuck with only Wonwoo as a friend due to lack of interesting or attractive people on campus? Only time would tell. 

You finished washing out the conditioner that remained in your hair and turned off the water. You reached for your towel, drying yourself off to the best of your ability before stepping out of the shower and putting your clothes on. You continued to dry your hair with your towel as you left the bathroom and headed to your bedroom. 

The second you entered your room, Wonwoo spoke.

“Why is Joshua blowing up your phone?” he asked, voice stern with your phone in his hand. You really didn’t have an answer, so you wished he wouldn’t get upset about it. 

“I genuinely have no idea.” you told him. You hung your towel on the corner of your door and walked over to your vanity to grab your brush. Wonwoo, not proudly, made it a point to look at your ass as you stepped, being careful not to get caught. Just because he was your best friend didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate your ass, in way too short of shorts nonetheless, from a distance. 

You quickly ran the brush through your hair, being sure to part it properly and get all of the knots out before walking over to Wonwoo and taking your phone from him. You rolled your eyes. 

“He only texted me 4 times!” you said, “You’re so dramatic...” you trailed off as you unlocked your phone, Wonwoo looking over your shoulder. You opened the messages app. 

[5:46pm] it was really great to see you today :)

[5:46pm] you look even better than i remember

[5:48pm] listen... if not it’s totally cool, but do you think i could see you tonight? 

[5:48pm] i figured there’s no harm in hooking up one more time before you leave haha, so yeah just let me know ;)

Before you could do or say anything, Wonwoo grabbed your phone from you and bolted out of your room. You ran after him, nearly slipping as you began to chase him.

“WONWOO!” you screamed, following him down the stairs as fast as you could, “GIVE ME MY PHONE!” He ran past your parents in the kitchen and they merely gave the situation a glance, they were used to it. Wonwoo went to go through the door that led to your garage, but you caught him before he could close the door and snatched your phone from his strong grip. He groaned in defeat and threw his head back. 

“God please don’t say yes to him! This is supposed to be our night before college.” Wonwoo whined, a pout on his face. You shot him a glare. 

“Isn’t he your other best friend?” you asked and Wonwoo nodded. “Then why don’t we just invite him over to hang out with the both of us?” you suggested. Wonwoo grunted and pushed past you, exiting the garage. You followed him, closing the door behind you and walking quickly to catch up with him. “What, are you not gonna answer me?” you questioned, but again, no answer. 

When you got up to your room and closed the door, you brought up the situation again. 

“Is it really that crazy of an idea?” you said as he sat against the headboard of your bed. You sat at the end by his feet and put your phone down. You heard his head hit the board behind him and saw him close his eyes and let out a sigh. 

“It’s not, and I would be happy to do it if I didn’t think he’d try to fuck you in the same room as me.” He opened his eyes and looked at you knowingly. You knew that the scenario Wonwoo had proposed was very likely. You would never try to pull something like that, but Joshua would, and knowing how weak you could be sometimes, there was a slight chance that you would give in. 

“Okay listen,” you scooted toward him, “I promise you that nothing even remotely suggestive will happen between Joshua and I tonight.” You held out your pinky and waited for Wonwoo to link his with yours. He let out a sigh and picked up his head, interlocking your pinkies and pressing your thumbs together. 

“Fine.” he stated. 

You smiled widely and reached over to grab your phone that was still by his feet. 

to: joshua

[5:58pm] come over tonight and hang out with the both of us instead :) it’ll be fun, i promise

Joshua arrived at around 8:30pm. He was nice enough to go out and pick up some food for the three of you, knowingly purchasing you and Wonwoo’s favorite snacks. You had on your pajamas, Wonwoo had on black joggers and a forest green sweatshirt, and Joshua wore a form-fitting black t-shirt and grey sweatpants with a silver chain resting on his chest. You knew the second you saw him that it would be a long night for you. 

Your parents were in their room for the night, so you set up some blankets on the floor of your living room in front of your TV, the snacks laid out in front of the three of you in an organized line. 

You picked up the remote and scrolled through Netflix trying to decide what to watch. As you searched, Wonwoo picked up a blanket and lifted it up so it spread out in the air. He covered the two of you with it and you sent him a look. 

“I don’t wanna use that one.” you told him. He quirked his head in confusion. 

“This is the best blanket in your house!” he said passionately, causing you to chuckle. You shook your head no and grabbed the big down comforter that rested behind the snacks. It was a tan color and made a swishy noise when you touched it. You spread it out over yourself and Joshua, earning a jealous and disapproving glare from Wonwoo. You would feel bad if you were planning on doing something with Joshua under said blanket, but since you promised your best friend that nothing of the sort would happen, you felt no remorse. 

You came across the movie “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and since you all loved action movies, you unanimously decided to watch it. Though right as you pressed play, Joshua spoke up. 

“Oh, y/n! I put some soju in the fridge when I got here, would you grab it?” he asked kindly. You nodded with a smile and a small “Mhm!” before pausing the movie, getting up and heading to the refrigerator. For the second time that night someone was looking at your ass, and it wasn’t Wonwoo. Joshua checked you out shamelessly as you went to get the soju, his bottom lip finding its way between his teeth. Wonwoo, noticing his male friend’s wandering eyes almost immediately, reached over to smack Joshua’s arm with no restraint. 

Joshua whipped his head around with a look of surprise on his face, but said nothing as you were sitting down beside him with 3 bottles of soju in your hands.

“One for you,” you gave a bottle to Wonwoo, “one for you,” one to Joshua, “and one for me.” you smiled happily as you opened the bottle right away and brought it to your lips. As you chugged the somewhat bitter liquid, you remembered you hadn’t eaten anything since before you started packing the moving truck at 11 that morning. However, you didn’t slow your drinking. With the way Joshua looked that night, you were gonna need alcohol to get through it without breaking your promise. 

“Jeez, slow down,” Wonwoo said and gently removed the bottle from your lips, “it’s not like we’re out clubbing or something.” he scoffed. You knew he wasn’t trying to sound rude, but you figured Joshua’s presence that was initially unwanted was doing something to affect his mood. 

“I’m sorry! It’s good!” you shrugged before raising your bottle into the air, “Cheers to college?” 

Wonwoo looked at you for a moment, then a small smile crept its way onto his face. Unable to resist you, he picked up his bottle of soju and tapped it against yours with a subtle “cheers”. 

You took a sip from your bottle and looked over at Joshua. He was looking at you with pure admiration as he raised his bottle too. 

“Cheers to not knowing when I’m going to see either of you again after tonight?” he looked over at Wonwoo who was, thankfully, still smiling. The two of you said a joyful “cheers” and drank from your bottles once more. Due to your empty stomach, you were already feeling a slight buzz. You pressed play on the remote and reached forward to grab one of the many snack options that lay before you. You decided on a snack sized bag of chips before leaning back against the bottom of your couch. 

As the movie went on, you snacked, drank, and made little comments about the plot and characters to each other. You were the utmost content to be in their presence; you knew the night would go well. 

Though about an hour through the movie, you felt Joshua’s hand move to the middle of your thigh. You whipped your head in his direction, eyes wide and ready to tell him to stop, but his eyes were locked on the television screen. He must have felt his eyes on you, because he looked over and smirked at you before returning his attention to the movie. 

You just rolled your eyes. Even though Joshua’s action was small, it ignited a fire in your stomach and caused your skin to heat up. After being lonely all summer, it felt nice to feel the touch of someone who wasn’t Wonwoo trying to throw you into your pool. Admittedly, you wanted more, but you wouldn’t let yourself give in. You figured as long as he didn’t try to go any further, you weren’t doing anything wrong. You weren’t breaking your promise. 

Just as soon as you got used to his hand on you, he moved it higher. You thought he would stop, but he just kept going up and up until he neared your sensitive spot. You reached down and stopped his hand from going any further as subtly as you could. You shot him a glare, but he just sat there, smugly looking at you. You wanted to punch him in his beautiful face. 

You leaned over and put your lips right next to his ear, whispering as quietly as you could, “I told Wonwoo we wouldn’t do anything.” You looked over to see if the other male had heard you, but you could tell by his eyes that he was completely entranced by the movie. 

“And I told myself that I wouldn’t try anything, yet here we are,” he whispered back just as quietly. You kept a firm grip on his hand that was on your thigh, not wanting it to move upward any further in fear of how you might react. You thought about somehow moving up to your bedroom so you could keep your promise of not doing anything in the same room as Wonwoo, but he would know exactly what the two of you were up to anyway, so there was no point. Besides, you didn’t want to leave him alone. 

As you tried to figure out a solution, you noticed that Joshua had, at some point, taken a pillow from your couch and placed it on his lap. ‘He could have just been using it to rest his head on’ you told yourself, or maybe...

With your thoughts running amuck, you bravely removed your hand from his and reached up to try and pull the pillow off of him. Somehow he kept his hand on your thigh while still being able to hold the pillow in place. Curse those damn biceps of his. 

“Are you hard right now?” you questioned in disbelief as you continued to try and take the pillow from him. 

Joshua went to respond, but before he could, Wonwoo had paused the movie and was looking over at the two of you.

“Is he what right now?” Wonwoo asked, fuming. You must not have spoken as quietly as you thought you did... 

You and Joshua turned to look at him, anger was evident in his eyes. His fiery orbs then traveled to where Joshua’s hand rested on your thigh. Your eyes widened as you realized what he saw and you threw Joshua’s hand off of your thigh as fast as you possibly could, but you were too late. Wonwoo was standing up and heading towards the door in a very justified fit of rage. 

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at yourself. Why were you so stupid? You called your best friend’s name as you untangled yourself from your blanket and headed out the door after him. He was half way down the side walk when you ran up to catch him. 

“Wonwoo-” you said as you grabbed his arm, but he pulled away instantaneously, turning to look at you. The only other time you’d seen him this angry was when you told him about you and Joshua the first time. 

“God I can’t believe you!” he raised his voice, making you feel extraordinarily small. “You guys couldn’t go one night without being complete horndogs for each other?! You promised me y/n!” he turned around and took a few steps, looking down at the sidewalk in defeat. 

“We didn’t do anything!” you called after him, catching up to him again, “He tried to, but we didn’t.” you stated calmly. Wonwoo turned to look at you again. 

“Well it wouldn’t take a genius to know that you both wanted to, if you didn’t you wouldn’t have let him... touch you.” he cringed at the end. 

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in, not wanting to have this conversation. “Listen, I haven’t really gotten any all summer, so I guess it just felt nice to actually get some attention.” you had your arms crossed and were looking down at your feet in order to avoid eye contact, “I know I made a promise so I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Your words were genuine. You really did feel bad and you hoped that he could hear it in your voice. 

He sighed a long sigh before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Fine,” he said calmly as he walked you back up to your front door, “but I’m kicking that asshole out.” he said, causing you to let out a light chuckle. 

“Deal.”

Early the next morning, as you got ready to head to your new home, your mind wandered to last night’s events, specifically Wonwoo kicking Joshua out. He had surprised you. You thought he would get up in his face and yell at him for pulling something like that 5 feet away from him, but he simply walked inside and said “You gotta go man.” Joshua seemed just as surprised as you were, but didn’t say another word as he brushed past you and walked out of your house. 

You didn’t let your mind linger on it for too long as you felt bad for Joshua, but only slightly, and decided to focus on the exciting day ahead of you instead. 

You looked at yourself in your vanity one last time before putting your brush in your bag and heading downstairs. Wonwoo’s parents were over again, giving their son one last goodbye hug. They pulled away from him and saw you, keeping their arms open as and waving you over to them to signal they wanted to give you a hug as well. You smiled cheekily and waddled into their arms, embracing them the best you could. 

“Take care of our Wonwoo, okay?” his mother said, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears. 

“I will.” you said reassuringly as you pulled away. 

“Pffft,” Wonwoo said, the three of you turning to look at him, “I’m not the one that needs taking care of.” he joked, which provoked you to playfully hit him on the arm. However he was right, between the two of you he definitely had a better head on his shoulders, though you weren’t that far behind. 

You all headed out to the moving truck where your parents were. Your father wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong with the truck before you started driving. It was a five hour drive, so there was no room for malfunction. 

You and Wonwoo gave both your mother and father a hug and they told you how well they knew the two of you were going to do. You thanked them graciously and walked over to the passenger side of the truck to get in, but Wonwoo’s mother called out that she insisted that her son and his best friend just had to take a picture in front of the truck before leaving. You both groaned, but humored her anyway as you walked to the side of the truck that faced your families. 

Wonwoo put his arm around your shoulder, and you wrapped yours around his slender waist. You smiled widely for the picture, as you knew your parents would treasure it, and held the pose until Wonwoo’s mom said she was done. You waved and said your final goodbyes as you climbed into the passenger seat of the moving truck. You shut the door and buckled your seatbelt, Wonwoo doing the same. 

He turned the key of the truck before looking at you, excitement filling his cat-like brown eyes. 

“Let’s go!”

You pulled into the parking spot in front of your new apartment. You and Wonwoo had switched driving half way through the trip due to it’s length, and needless to say you were both exhausted. The complex had sent you the apartment key in the mail and it had been sitting in your bag since the day you got it. You took it out of one of the inner pockets and inserted it into the lock that was located in the handle. You turned it and pushed the door open, unveiling your new home for the next year. 

It smelt and looked surprisingly clean. You had only seen it once before when you toured the place a couple of months ago, but it looked exactly how you remembered it. A small living area and a kitchen were visible upon entry, and down the hallway were two bedrooms and a bathroom. It was a minimalist apartment, but it was all you needed. 

You put your bag down on the tile-covered kitchen counter and looked at Wonwoo. He was standing in the center of the space with his hands on his hips, looking around with a judgmental look on his face. 

“Well, I guess you can’t expect luxury in your first year of college.” he said matter-of-factly and you laughed at his words. 

“It’s nice,” you contested, “plenty of room for the both of us.” he nodded in agreement and sauntered over to you. 

“Now can we please get the couch in here? I need a nap.” You nodded happily and walked back out your front door. You pushed it so it was open all the way and hoped that the couch would fit through the frame. You had bought a simple grey one from Ikea the previous week and put it together in your garage. It took about 3 hours, but hey, it was a bonding experience.

Luckily, it was the last item you loaded into the moving truck. Wonwoo pulled the ramp down and you both headed toward the couch, you going to the left side and him going to the right. You lifted it at the same time and Wonwoo turned around, heading backwards down the ramp. 

“Be careful!” you called out, earning a mere grunt from your best friend as you inched toward your door. You successfully made it to your door, though you had to turn the couch a few times to get it to fit through the doorframe. 

You set it down a good 6 or 7 feet away from where a TV would potentially go and Wonwoo laid his long body down on it the second it touched the linoleum flooring. Part of you wanted to nap as well, but the other part just wanted to get the unpacking of the truck over with. So, you did your best to shake off your tiredness and headed back outside to start grabbing boxes.

If you were handling smaller boxes, you would try to take 3 or 4 at a time, but most of them were so large and heavy that you could barely carry just one. A lot of the big boxes were packed last, so you were taking your sweet time, carrying one per trip. 

After about 15 minutes of excess amounts of lifting and carrying, your arms were starting to feel like jelly. Boxes that wouldn’t have felt that heavy at the beginning of your task felt like they were full of bricks. You considered waking Wonwoo up to help, but it hadn’t been that long since he laid down, so you decided against it. 

You walked up the ramp of the truck and picked up a large rectangular box. The shape made it difficult for you to get a good grip on it, and to make matters worse, it was beyond heavy. 

You ever so slowly stepped down the ramp, being careful not to drop it. However as soon as you stepped off of the ramp, you felt your legs about to give out beneath you. Right as you were about to fall, a man appeared in front of you and placed his hand on your back. He prevented your descent onto the pavement and took the box from your hands effortlessly. 

“You okay?” he asked, concern evident in his brown eyes. He held the box between his waist and one of his long, muscular arms as he looked down at you. You took in his immaculate features. He was exceptionally tall, tan, and handsome beyond words. His hair was brown and fluffy and his shoulders were the perfect width. 

You realized how long you’d been staring at him and grew red in an instant. 

“S-sorry, I just... thank you.” you said, moving your hand up to rest your forehead in your palm. He chuckled at your flustered state. 

“It’s no problem. You look like you could use some help.” he said with a smirk, not-so-subtly looking you up and down. Your face heated up again and you suddenly became self conscious of your moving clothes that consisted of an old white t-shirt, tattered jean shorts, and some Nike tennis shoes that you’d had for a few years.

“Uh, yeah,” you chuckled nervously, “I mean I have it, but he’s kind of asleep…”  you said as you motioned toward your door. He nodded in understanding and smiled at you.

“Can I put this down inside for you?” he asked and you replied with a small yet perky ‘yeah’ and led him inside. He set the box down to the side of the door quietly before heading back outside with you.

“Lazy boyfriend?” he questioned, but you shook your head no, admittedly more aggressively than you would if someone that wasn’t as gorgeous as this generous stranger was asking.

“No! No, he’s just my best friend. We’ve known each other since we were kids.” you told him and walked back up the ramp of the truck next him. You picked up a smaller box and he picked up another one of the larger ones.

“Ah okay, good to know.” he said suavely. It sounded relatively flirty, but you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself. You were just surprised that someone as attractive as him was even interacting with you.

You made small talk as you carried boxes and various pieces of furniture to and from your apartment, Wonwoo sleeping through all of it. Him being able to continue his slumber through the moving process didn’t come as a shock to you, he was a pretty heavy sleeper.

You weren’t surprised that the man helping you was able to carry a total of 12 dresser drawers, 2 dresser frames, 2 bed frames, and 2 mattresses on top of the enormous amount of boxes he carried prior to that, but you were surprised that you were able to help him carry all of those things. Maybe it was because you just wanted to get it done, but it very well could have been because you wanted to impress this handsome, and rather intriguing stranger. 

When you were done unloading everything, you walked back to the truck. The man picked up the ramp and slid it back into the truck before sitting on the edge and patting the spot next to him. You blushed slightly and jumped to sit next to him, swinging your legs happily.

“Oh! I never asked, what’s your name?” you asked casually as you looked over at him.

“Mingyu. Kim Mingyu.” he told you. 

Mingyu, you thought, what a nice name.

“And yours?” he asked, holding his hand out.

“Y/N. Y/L/N Y/F/N.” you replied, putting your hand in his and shaking it. His grip was gentle and his hand was large and incredibly soft.

“Well Y/N,” he raised your hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss on it, “it’s lovely to meet you.” he smiled.

His action was cheesy, far cheesier than you would normally like, but given Mingyu’s insanely good looks, you had butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.

“That was a bit tacky,” you admitted, “but I liked it.”

He smiled at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “You know I thought it may be too much, but I wanted to try it out.” you nodded in understanding and sat there in a comfortable silence for a moment. When you went to speak up again, Wonwoo came stumbling around the corner of the truck. He was scratching his head, his hair messy from his nap.

“Who’s this?” he said tiredly, motioning toward Mingyu.

“Kim Mingyu.” he said and offered his hand.

“Nice,” Wonwoo said, not even doing as much as looking at the other man’s hand. “Well thanks for helping Y/N unload the truck, but we have to take it to the company to return it now.” he crossed his arms, giving Mingyu a ‘time for you to go’ look. 

“Well considering we did all the work, how about you take the truck back?” you suggested, but Wonwoo shook his head.

“It’s in your name, so you kinda have to be there.” he said matter-of-factly, causing you to groan.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I should probably be heading home anyway.” Mingyu said, standing up from the edge of the truck. He offered you his hand and you took it, hopping down as well.

“I’ll be in the truck...” Wonwoo mumbled, leaving you and Mingyu alone. The thought of Wonwoo backing the truck up enough to hurt Mingyu in some way crossed your mind, but you had faith that he wouldn’t.

“So...” you trailed off shyly and looked at the ground, “thank you for helping me today. Really, you didn’t have to.”

You heard him let out a breathy laugh. “It’s nothing, really. I had fun.” he stated.

“Me too,” you looked at his chest, “is there any way I can make it up to you?” you inquired. Your heart began to race as you waited for his answer.

He reached up and placed his pointer finger under your chin, tilting your head up so you were looking him in the eyes. You swallowed nervously as he looked into your eyes meaningfully.

“Promise me I’ll see you again?”

The butterflies in your stomach were worse than ever.

“Promise.”

a/n: hello!! sooo this is the first chapter of hunger.. i know some stuff may not make much sense yet, but i promise everything will come together later on in the story :) if you liked this chapter please don’t hesitate to tell me!! getting feedback really motivates me to write, so it would be lovely to hear from some of you!! if you got this far thank you so much for reading & i’ll have the next chapter posted ASAP! - j💗