#I wish I just asked my mom to buy it or smth

[over-rated-cheese]

I am going kill myself

[starrierknight]

well music for me is quite literally everything,, i do this thing called maladaptive daydreaming where i can daydream for hours, the dreams are very vivid and intense, it genuinely feels like im ACTUALLY experiencing them in real time.

music helps as in it acts as background ambience (?) for those scenarios, i have quite literally forged an entire storyline out of those daydreams with a specific timeline and everything (i built this brick by brick) it’s like an escape of reality (not really though, just like an escape from life right now to somewhere i’d rather be, or become a person i would’ve preferred to become and so on)

anyways besides the daydreaming thing, music is also smth adds so much to my life, it grants me connection with people, in the sense that whenever i try to make small talk with new ppl at uni, one of the first questions i ask is about music, it helps me understand that person better and their tastes somehow give a little hint on who they are as a person, and it can act as common ground between me and said ppl that could help me deepen our friendship upon as it’s something we can bond over

music is how i see ppl in a way as well, some ppl look like different songs, my favorite characters from different shows have a certain vibe that only the melody of that one song can truly capture in a way words simply cannot.

music is a means of communication for me as well, words can’t tell my friends how the notes of that one song spells their name or the fact that i can see my mother drawn in watercolors on a sunny day buying me animal shaped crackers after i cried when i listen to fairuz, music is how i process literally anything that has ever happened to me

music is jamming to it in ur friends car on ur way back home after a long day of classes, music is my sister and i dancing in front of my mom and grandma on a hot summer day with the AC on at 3pm as kids, music is me crying myself to sleep every night at 14 cuz i was lonely, music is the rain gently tapping on my bedroom window with the sun shining through tiny gaps in the clouds while i’m drinking a cup of hot chocolate i made with sister for the both of us and my dad, music is the bits and pieces of me in the playlists i send to my online friend who loves continents away and so much more

so yeah, i think those words will do for now, i hope that was helpful to u, reece ! also hi !! i missed u, but life’s been quite busy (uni has been kicking my ass ngl)

-🩰

you are so fascinating and wonderful and THIS IS what I call. an answer!!!!! very beautifully said. genuinely, if you don't already write, I think maybe you should give it a go. this was a very nice read!!!!

not to mention, extremely inspiring for a certain aspect of my wip!!!! so thank you for sharing!!!!

and hi!!!! I've missed you too, nonnie 🩷 I hope uni/life in general let up now that the holiday season is around the corner. wishing you the absolute best!!!!! ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ

[audie430]

can i request fruits basket characters (you can choose) comforting a stressed/overworked reader?

ofc! tysm for requesting :D

I hope that this can make you smile, if you need anything just lmk, dont forget to drink some water! xoxo audie

Fruits Basket characters comforting overwhelmed/stressed reader

characters included: tohru, kyo, yuki, shigure, momiji,

might do hatsuharu separately

Tohru Honda

SWEETEST ANGEL EVER

i aspire to be her🌸🍡✨️

anyways to the oneshot

this girlie trusts you w her life so if you say that 'you're fine' ngl she WILL believe you

It might take this cinnamon roll a few days but once she realizes that you have bags under your eyes, you're on high alert, and you're fidgeting.. mom mode is on

once she has a gentle grasp on your hand, it's over for you: she has won

she'll take you to her house so you can relax in a new setting

just pretend the boys aint there😁👍🏻

she will ofc cook you some comfort food of your choice, which most likely contains some rice

maybe she'll tell you the story of the onigiri and the plum in its back (i think thats the story lmao dkdnd)

after eating, she'll most likely lay your head on her lap and play with your hair (long or short) and just caress your jaw and maybe down your arms

just her touch makes you tingly, she's the master of relaxation

SHE WILL RUN YOU A BATH I SWEAR

some words that she would say:

"I wish you would've told me sooner, I would have been more prepared"

"no matter what, I'm on your side!"

"so you can relax now, breathe w me! slowlyyyy, yay! you can rest now, it's just us"

"there there, you can ask us for help. We're here for you"

Kyo Sohma

tsundere cat fr

he's shy but will help in his own way

he def does the little things that you don't think about:

like putting away dishes

and he's the one leaving a can of your fav soda outside your door anonymously

he remembers the little things and his love language is def acts of service, prove me wrong👩🏻‍⚖️

if its exam season, he will give you an extra set of notes or help you cheat somehow from across the room

if its another matter, he'll get the guts to give you a hug

lets just say he wont turn into a cat😃

i feel like every character would run you a bath before hand idk why🤷🏻‍♀️

he will take your turn cooking dinner and buy your fav fast food

if you're closer to him, you can hide in his room, he'll get you some more blankets so you can hibernate

he def gives those lil shoulder pats

and headpats too ofc

imagine that small lil smile when you start to feel better😭😭

some words he would say are:

"hurry up and feel better already, this aint like you"

"IF SOME BASTARD DID SMTH, I'LL MAKE EM PAY"

"you can let it out, its just me here yk?"

Yuki Sohma

idc I will forver pick this rat over kyo🧍🏻‍♀️

also my friend didnt like him until they learned his fam was rich💀

im getting distracted so anyways

HES SO KIND

if you overwork yourself and get sick like tohru did in the pilot, he'll spare his clothes

and yes.. run you a bath

i feel like he's the type to grasp onto your shoulder, firm yet gentle and he will tell you to take a break

he'll take up your chores as well, he wants you resting as much as possible

yes, its canon that he will help you study

he always gives you support no matter why youre stressed

always always ALWAYS gives you advice, he's big brother material

gives gentle hugs, the kind that linger for a while even after he lets go

the kind that make you want MORE😭

but he'll only give you a hug if you ask, he's smart but too dumb to realize if you want physical support

and when youre in your ✨️stress era✨️ he will have that soft, kind voice that you would use for a fussy child or baby

yes he will treat you like a child

some of his words he would say are:

"hey, hey, hey whats going on? why are you upset?"

"are you crying? was it kyo?"

"hush now, I'll finish up your chores. Why dont you take a bath in the meantime?"

Shigure Sohma

bark bark

will tease you if you dont ask for help

he won't be much of a help ngl

will put on a drunk uncle act and try to be affectionate w you

and yes it will be the most uncomfy experience of your life

get those nasty sticky fingers out from under my skirt pls

his love language is gifts for sure, he likes buying stuff🙄

hopefully its just some pretty tulips and not lingerie

I LOVE PINK TULIPS

poor tohru😔😔 that dress looked so pretty, i wonder if she ever saw it-

anyways he's not the most helpful 4/10

"heyyy, whats with the waterworks? did some boy break your heart?"

"don't worry about those other kids, they don't realize how special you are"

"soo.. i bought you a little gift"

Momiji Sohma

MY ABSOLUTE FAV

I WANT TO MARRY BUNNY BOY

ahem**

sweetest 2nd to tohru, will buy you gifts, help with your chores/work, take you out to the park, and will let you cry into his shoulder

he's like a quadrouple threat ig?

i think he would take you out on a walk, most likely

shows you the prettiest places fr

and then comforts you if front of the sunset

will use a soft voice like yuki to make you spill your worries

I FEEL LIKE HE IS SO SMART WHEN IT COMES TO EMOTIONS

he's the top of his psychology class probs

but that means using lil brain tricks to make you cry which is mean >:(

but highly affective👍🏻

He will kiss your tears away and tell you stories to distract you

holds your hand the whole time >>

some words:

"wah?! hey, whats wrong?? oh I know smth that'll cheer you up hehe!"

"shhh, it's all alright now. I'm here.. I'm heree. shhhh"

"rest on my shoulder, I'll wake you up when we gotta go"

[fairycosmos]

i’m in pain knowing my family, my mom mostly, loves me but they don’t like me. they don’t see me as anything important, they don’t care to know me, they don’t really care if i’m around or if i’m not, they’d only care if i finally killed myself and even then it breaks my heart to think about how they’d remember me. none of them have ever really had good things to say about me and i wonder if that’d change. i want to hope so, i’ve always hoped i was a good person and i feel like everyone else who’s loved me has reminded me i am, but my family never could. they never saw me that way and my mom hated who i was for as long as i can remember, even as a child. i have 4 siblings so it’s hard too because i know it’s not just who she is, it’s something about who i am, and i know her perception doesn’t define me but it never made it easier to live with that.

it’s been harder lately and yesterday she told me how unpleasant i am to live with, and she thinks i’m living here to make her miserable to make up for my miserable childhood (lol) so i left her alone, i didn’t see her the rest of the day but i just saw she went to the store and bought my favorite fruit )): things like that make it all harder to understand, and i feel guilty because i don’t feel like i deserve anything from anyone, despite knowing it’s not all my fault. i wish i could fix everything. life has seemed sadder than ever the past couple months.

+ i just sent an ask about my mom buying me my favorite fruit n it was just a vent but i kinda wanted your insight on that part of it, it seems like smth you’d understand?? only sending this one to let you know it was “important” (i know you say to do that if you miss it) just in the sense that i’m looking for someone to talk about it a bit i guess idk this is just word vomit now but i love youuu n thank you for reading bby hope you have a good day 💘

hi love, i'm really sorry you have to put up with this sort of thing from your own family. i know that living with this sort of dynamic from those closest to you, esp during your formative years, can genuinely fuck up your sense of self-wroth and your perception of what you deserve, and i don't want to minimize that by offering platitudes or easy solutions. but i did want to say that the way your family treats you is not a reflection of you, and they do not get to dictate whether or not you're a good person or whether or not you're loveable. obviously, it's completely natural to want to be truly seen and appreciated by them, and it's totally understandable that not having access to that bond is incredibly painful. it's an incredibly difficult thing to have to learn to live with, and it often makes adulthood even harder than it already is. but just because they're not able to be a healthy support system for you, doesn't mean you don't deserve one. doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. and it might feel like bullshit for a long time, trying to convince yourself of that, because maybe your self-esteem isn't the highest due to everything you've been through - but it's true. knowing that doesn't make it easier, but grounding yourself in that truth whenever you begin to spiral into self-hatred will keep you from drowning in it. and i'm not trying to diminish how hard this must be for you, because it is absolutely not fair that you've had to live your life feeling like your family wouldn't even care if they lost you - that is incredibly sad to hear, and i'm so sorry. it sounds like your mother has issues that stem back from before you were born, honestly, and the fact that she could raise one of her kids to feel that way is indicative of her emotional immaturity more than anything. i think the people who have loved you how you deserve to be loved were able to do that because you ARE a wonderful person who is worthy and deserving and good.

anyway, i know you wanted my thoughts on the second half of this, i just wanted to be honest with you ab this message. the bit about the fruit - i do understand that, a lot. i think a lot of people who have complex relationships with their mothers do, and that's what makes it all so hard. it would be much easier if we could just say we hate them and move on, wouldn't it? but there's so much between a parent and a child that makes it impossible to do that, in many cases at least. i think it's important to acknowledge that numerous things can be true at once while trying to process your feelings for her. it's true that she hasn't treated you very well, it's true that she cares for you and your wellbeing deeply (though not in a way that you may always understand, and not that that excuses any of the shit shes put you through), it's true that you don't feel like she appreciates you for who you are and you're mad at her for that, it's true that you crave recognition from her at the same time. these emotions might seem contradictory and confusing but they're all just a part of the nuance and of the complicated relationship you have with her. it's entirely possible to be grateful for the fruit and still acknowledge that you deserve better than this. which you do, and it's alright if you can't quite believe that right now, but i hope you get the chance to work on it w a professional at some point so you're able to start viewing the situation from a place of support for yourself, and not from a place of disdain. your brain is partially a product of how you were raised and so you can't always trust what it feeds you, you know? anyway, i'm sorry this got long and i'll quit rambling now, but yeah - i really do get this and you're truly not alone in it. if you ever need a friend or anything, give me a message. love u love angel and please take care of yourself. mwah x

[lesbian-gnf-archive]

hello my favorite insane /pos bestie If i gave u the prompt dnf spending first holidays together (specifically georges birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, valentines) what would you brainrot out for um. reasons ^_^ bc ur dnf hcs are always cute

Oh hello crazy best friend yes I will share them as you would never use them for profit 🫶

I got carried away and spent half an hour on these ppl better appreciate them

George's birthday - Wakes him up at midnight to say happy birthday, they go back to sleep, wake up again and have a "morning celebration", glued at the hip the entire day Tbh, they go out for lunch to sushi and Dream insists paying for it, it's a LOT of food and George tries to offer to pay for more of it cuz he feels bad but Dream refuses cuz it's his birthday, they go home and they lay around doing nothing most of the day but all three of them just existing in the same space just how George had wished for. Sapnap leaves and buys streamers, balloons and those confetti rocket things he likes and a cake, while dnf have some more celebration. They get home, they order McDonald's since it's what George asked for and then they light up the cake and mess around with the decorations and eat the cake. They probably call Quackity and/or Karl and talk to them a bit on the phone. The day ends with dnf in their bed and Dream snuggling him and kissing all over his face wishing him a happy birthday. When George asks why he's been so clingy today Dream just answers that he's never been able to do all of this in person and he wanted to make their first birthday together special. (There's probably a stream happening some time here but idc to write it out)

Thanksgiving - The first time George meets Dream's extended family and he's a little nervous but mostly excited. They go to Dream's mom's house since she insists on hosting it every year. It's a lot more food than George anticipated and he feels bad about not being able to eat it all but Dream reassures him there's nothing to worry about and he can eat whatever. George gets along with Dream's little niece and/or nephew really well and they cling to him for most of the dinner. He ignores the occasional curious side-eye Dream's extended family gives him, wondering why Clay brought his best friend to dinner and why they seem so extra close. Dream is ofc still glued to him, showing him around the house and introducing him to his family. Dream's mom gushes about how polite and sweet George is and while Dream could try and disagree for a laugh, he can't help but agree and glow at how much his mom loves George. They eat their dinner, have a couple of beers where Dream, drunk, accidentally says him and George are dating to his extended family. Luckily they don't say much, maybe a comment or two and they go home after a successful Thanksgiving. George tells him at home that he's never seen a house so full and loud and Dream just hugs him and tells him to expect it every year because he's a part of the family now.

Christmas - Dream wakes George and Sapnap up early like a little kid so they can unwrap their presents. He makes them hot cocoa as George complains about being too tired while wrapped up in his blanket still. They open their presents and George gets a little teary eyed. Dream notices and asks him what's wrong and he just says he hasn't done smth like this in a while and he gets to do it with them and it makes him very happy. He gets tackled in a cuddle by Dream and they spend the rest of their day cuddled on the couch watching Christmas movies and they order in food for lunch. Later, Dream's mom comes with his siblings and she prepares them dinner in their kitchen. They all hang out and talk, until dinner is ready and they move to the dining room and talk there. Dream's mom hands George a present and when he tries to say she didn't have to she insists because he's family now, so he accepts and it's a framed picture of Dream as a baby. George laughs loudly and Dream complains to his mom but George says he loves it and he's going to put it in their room. They watch a Christmas movie together one last time, drinking more hot cocoa before Dream's family leaves and they head up to their room where George puts the baby picture on his nightstand. Then they cuddle to sleep and Dream tells George it was his best Christmas in a while which George agrees.

New Years - They host a party at their house for all their close friends to come. They leave the station that shows the ball dropping on in the bg while also having their stereos out to play music. They order in pizza and Dream and George are of course still attached to the hip. People are drunk, it's a fun party and everyone's hanging out. Eventually, the ball starts to drop so everyone gathers around the big screen and starts counting down. When they reach midnight, George grabs Dream by the collar and kisses him as everyone around them hollers. Dream tells him he thinks this will be the best year of his life and George can't help but agree.

Valentine's Day - Dream asks to be his Valentine and George can't reject him anymore now that he sees his beautiful puppy eyes in person. He really tried to keep the bit up but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He tries to dodge the question on stream but Dream keeps persisting until he finally gives in. Later he complains about Dream doing it on stream but Dream is on cloud nine and can't care too much. This time however George refuses to let Dream pay after Dream suggests dinner which Dream accepts, as long as if he still got to choose the place. They go to a relatively fancy restaurant for dinner, George lightly teases him for being cheesy but Dream tells him he loves it and George can't argue. They go home - they asked Sapnap to stay at Punz's house that night and he looked like he wanted to smack them - and have more "celebration". Afterwards, Dream leans over and grabs a ring box. George freezes but Dream explains it's a promise ring, he's not proposing just yet, but he wanted to let George know that they were serious. George can't lie and say he's not a little disappointed it's not a proposal, but he also can't help but feel so happy he can't resist kissing Dream and thanking him in another way.

[cloudylovemuses]

My sister let it slip that my gift from them would be something that I would probably not like. And I don't mean something like cheap or like that. She was looking for a hoodie with some flowers or smth.

All my hoodies are black and the only flowery thing I have is a summer skirt.

So I made a "wish list" with things that I had my eye on for a while (a book, a Funko pop and a cute cat decor that's been sitting in my cart for a while). I also made her a mood board with the flowers and the cake she should get me, because I know her too well by now and the past couple of birthdaya were not a success per say.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful and appreciated of her efforts but like... My room is full of marvel and friends funk pops, yet she got me a Wednesday Funko pop because she wasn't sure about the marvel ones. I commented a thousand times that the bakery we usually buy our birthday cakes has the best strawberry cake ever, yet she bought a chocolate cake with purple roses on the outside (I don't like roses, but if you had to get me, I prefer the pink ones). My favorite flowers are orchids, yet the bouquet they got me had red roses and lilies.

I have to be grateful for all those things, but I just don't feel seen. I feel they got me things that I might like. I always make sure whatever they have on their birthday is on budget but always something they will like 99%. My sister had a Ferrari themed birthday cake and two Ferrari themed shirts (her new obsession, don't ask), for my dads birthday I got him tickets for his favorite team, because he has never seen them play In their own stadium. Last year for mothers day I got my mom Andrea Bocelli tickets, because she almost cried when she saw the prices and on her birthday got her a whole outfit (dress, shoes, bag) that she was eyeing for a wedding.

I don't ask for a yacht or anything, just a more meaningful gift, something that actually fits me! And then I feel bad for asking things🤦🏻‍♀️

Fuck birthdays, they suck

[hellohibye1]

(Very roughly translated)

If They have a fight it’s always 🐰 who hang up the phone first because if 🦁 will do it 🐰 eyes will turn red. So after a fight it was Cold War between two of them but after few days 🦁 called him and asked him to buy him a cake (🐰wasn’t with him)

So 🐰 asked people from cake industry and they were sending cakes to 🦁 for a few days

🦁 was happy getting these cakes for several days in a row

🐰came to visit

🐰 I will not eat, i got fat

🦁: where? Look at you wrist

🐰: really gained weight , I measured myself😩

🦁really? Come here I will measure you

🐰: are you crazy? People are watching! 😠

🦁: are you shy? Come here, no one is watching

Shaking his legs: come on! Come here

🐰 pointed on his stomach

🦁 immediately started to rub it

🐰: I’m just hungry 🙄

🦁 (smiling): hungry?

🐰 👀

🦁(continue rubbing) okay, food will come soon, let’s wait a bit

🐰was in some store where he had to choose between two things

🐰: ah…ah these two both are fine

Employee: but you can choose only one

Staff who came with him: ah..I wish 🦁 was here…so can choose for 🐰…

Then 🐰 shyly smiled

I think we already saw that but will remind:

🦁 really likes to kiss 🐰 face and booping his nose

🐰was hungry to death 🦁 asked him what he wanted to eat. 🐰said: forget it. And then 🦁: I will buy smth for you. And then went to him and slightly touched 🐰 cheek.

Even on hot days, 🐰 always puts his hands in 🦁 sleeve and hangs on his neck

During video call:

Xxx: what are you eating?

Xx: cake, bought it around the corner

Xxx: looks tasty

Xx: it is, the filling strawberry-chocolate

Xxx: give me one bite

Xx: say “ah”~

X using his phone

W: show me your hand

X (putting out one hand): there is nothing

W: I will hold it for you

(Moment of silence)

X: Ya!, xxx, why are you biting my hand! You bite everything, so now it’s my hand!

W: I just...I bite once! Besides, why don't you tell that you always bite me

X: What did I bite?

W: Xls knows himself

X: where did I bite?

W: I still have the mark, that day...I almost got caught by my mom.

X: I saw it... what was you going to say if she caught you.

W: Tell me the truth, why are you even worried about ruining your image in front of my mom?

X: What do you mean, I'll bite you if I wanna bite you, and I'll bite you again next time

W asked X to have a meal. However, when X came and made fun of him again, W was not in a good mood.

w: "I hate it the most when you mess around like this."

X immediately stopped laughing: "Then why did you ask me to eat? Nothing would have happened if you didn’t call me to eat!"

w said, laughing so lightly (in a good sense): "I said I didn't like this type of you, I didn't say I didn't like you."

x laughed again and hit w lightly

🐰 try to touch your hair~

🦁 if you will touch me once again I won’t grow

🐰 but you are normally short?!

🐰 but that’s okay, I like it

xxx: ......I already told you, there's nothing to worry about... I told you, it's okay, I told you... ...don't do it, can you? ...go to sleep, go and have a good sleep, I told you to not talk nonsense…just sleep well, I will tell to send you snacks. I will be there in a few days. Just a few days…. Listen to me…

xx: you're mad at me?

xxx choked, and after a while his low voice was heard: no, you are good boy, bao you are good boy. (I can't hear the omitted part, xxx didn't feel good that day but held it in as much as he could)

Quite a while ago, not these days.

🦁 You do it

🦁 Wear mask and hat

🦁 Right

🦁 🥺 i was angry

🦁 I know

🦁 just because I miss you

🦁 en, it changed

🦁 it’s okay, it’s not tiring , definitely very soft

🦁 come play with me (meaning just come to have fun with me not exactly playing)

🦁 I will give you one yuan

🦁 I know I know 😂😂

🦁 😬

🦁 learning from you (repeating after you)

🦁 my eyes are still swollen

🦁 en…en..

👨 👉🏻👉🏻

🦁 got it got it I’m going!

🦁 see you in canyon (wtf?)

🦁 fufu （don’t know what Is it but when I write it in Chinese this emoji is suggested 💑)

👨 I arranged our meal

🦁 It's been a long time since I ate with him.

🦁 Last time, we didn't eat anything because it was just one day.

👨 you will go as soon as he finish?

🦁 Yeah, it's almost the same time as us

👨 late meals are the best

👨 if eat something warm you will sleep good

🦁 en ☺️

👨 have to wake up early

🦁 en 🥲

W Laoshi smile is so sweet

🦁 Did you finish?

🦁 Wait me

🦁 ☺️

How can you not hug me when you met me?

🐰 you like it?

🦁 en ☺️

🧔‍♂️ really tasty

👩🏻‍🦰 eat quickly and go

🐰 don’t be in rush, eat slowly

🦁 I’m full

🐰 i didn’t ask you

🦁 😏

🐰 why are you looking like that?

🦁 😏😏😏

Then 🐰 gave 🦁 a wink, 🦁 bowed his head without saying a word and fiddled with his phone, and we talked and laughed and chatted

🦁 I’ve sent you 1 yuan through phone

🐰 oh got it

🐰 later I will go

🦁 ���🙂🙂

🐰 eat more

🦁 no, you are my role model

🐰 🤨

🦁 Thank you….X laoshi! For buying us food! Ah! Oh!

Nice to hear 👊👊👊

Actually 🦁🐰 barely ate because were scared to be swollen. So the had just two spoons. But we had good appetite.

They went separately but while going out 🦁 slightly pulled 🐰s back so 🐰 turned around and 🦁 smiled to him and 🐰 pulled on mask

Why is the way back for you always so long? Doesn’t matter how early you have to wake up, it won’t stop you.

[kaoarika]

Co-related to the other post is the fact that I think one of the things that I came with today is some frustration I have.

(kinda gets personal, sorry)

I don’t think this is my first time writing about this, but one of the frustrating things at my age (now in my early 30s) is the fact that I don’t have friends IRL to be silly with, even if it is to discuss my dumb grievances of my silly boring daily life with them.

It’s not like I thought my late 20s or early 30s to be fairly exciting, but I also didn’t expect everything come off like this and I feel like I’m getting worse with my introverted nature these days.

My psychologist recently asked me if I thought the pandemic was sort of a bless and about me being “isolated” at home and all I could respond was “no”, even though I didnt’ have much time to elaborate on why (although to be fair, it was mostly about the whole working environment and what not... but, let’s be real... socializing in a work environment at least is something, I guess, or so I think).

I really wish I had more friends around my age, that kinda understand me and I wish I had someone else to be silly with (I only have my brother, and, I do understand where he goes with me being kinda annoying from time to time, but... we are siblings, that’s how siblings are and do).

It was... quite embarrassing how introverted I was feeling when I went out and bought manga. At my age. Understandable if I was a teenager (and I did so when I was a teen!)... but not 15 years later???? I was kinda envious of the few ppl going in the shop with their friends or partners and them talking about the series they liked an so and so... and there was me, staring at these shelf thinking in what I really wanted to buy although I was so on on my whole “you already know what you want to buy” kind of deal, but I felt so awkward... and bad about it...

I know it’s not wrong to not do small talk with the clerks and what not... but there was a part of me that wish I did. I am not sure if it was just me craving from some social interaction with someone else... or what, really. I felt... so out of place and lonely (I also should have asked about the box, *kicking myself*) in some way, even if I know I’m not exactly “hip” with whatever is “in” these days, lol.

I just... felt too embarrassed... and I was soo frustrated about it as a whole.

I just wish making friends at my age was easier. I think that was one of those things I was expecting from working again on field back when I decided it was one of my goals on 2020, but growing frustrated (as well) of my career choice due to lots of personal reasons besides the obvious of what happened then, truly made me socially inept, too, ig.

I’m really looking for a chance to give this a 180° turn, tbh... but it’s also not really quick, either.

It also makes me sad, who am I kidding, lol.

(I don’t complain much about my yo/ga classes, since I know that one of the reasons I got in there was much about talking or doing smth else with other ppl that wasn’t my family and doing so outside my house... but aside from that, and while I am friendly with them... it’s not the same because I feel like I’m being “friends” with ladies that are around my mom’s age -or older than her- in general. Not a complaint, per se... but it’s not the same. The few younger ones around my age sometimes go there in days I don’t frequent to go, so, yeah).

[just-some-random-blogger]

hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT 'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.

taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.

'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you. 'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?

'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).

'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

us <3 HELLO. actually im the cat in the background HAHAHAH so sleepy HAHAHAHAHA i love sleeping

hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

<3 FREEZY HUGS thank you. it has been pretty cool the past few days. undoubtedly because of your hug hugs <3

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT

my cat did that too. i assure you, its not a kiss but a smell. LOL

'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

T_T yeah jinjin fr put him through so much T_T like he would let the mouse crawl up the wall in an attempt to get away, but then he would pounce the poor thing and knock the mouse to the floor T_T i think we let him do this for ??? an hour??? T_T he doesn't know how to kill mouse T_T he's such a house cat. even his papa yushi is like that T_T BUT YUSHI IS WORSE. LITERALLY BRUTALIZES WHATEVER HE HUNTS. grabs them with his teeth then YEEEEETS them back and forth T_T NEVER KILLS THEM just keeps them in constant fear. a true menace. T_T yushi's mom, meowmeow, was the BEST KILLER or hunter, she was swift and merciful. the moment she got a mouse, she'd kill it it by choking it then eat it. T_T i mourn the fact meowmeow never got to teach her babies how to hunt cos our neighbors gave her away T_T and thus yushi never got to teach/show jinjin how to do that either T_T anyway jinjin and yushi = menace; mochi (yushi's brother) normally did that with lizards T_T he'd always end up breaking the poor lizard's tail before it eventually dies T_T ALSFHASFAL:SFHASF brutal. i miss mochi, i almost cried again thinking about him

ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.

IT WASNT A TRIAL T_T HELPPPP AHHAHHAH it was because the tiny onions came from my aunt's farm and they had been in the refrigerator for like so long so she was like do them all and i CRIED. HAHHAAH its funny i said the same thing. <3 love that for me. unfortunately, i see onion everyday T_T we can never break up T_T

taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.

it does look like cognac and caramel. !!! I HOPE YOU FIND A PLACE THAT SELLS FILIPINO FOOD!!!! maybe im biased but i think ALL those food is amazing LOL I MEAN I SHARED THEM of course i love them HAHH. i understand what you mean about unusual but is kind of amusing to think these foods are super normal to me hHIHIHIH cultural perspective is weird lol. also yes i am the pretty grandchild (even tho my grandma gaslighted me as a child into thinking i was ugly T_T HELP)

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

HAHAHHA YOU ARE MY MUNING MY LIZAR MUNING MINGMING LOVE LOVE HAHAHHA

'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.

HEY!?! why wouldn't i give my congratulations to her 😡😭 ok maybe not right now she's in school. but i talk to her about you HAHAHHAH and she doesnt gaf T_T so /: yeah ig in english congratuations does mean that, praising someone for what they did. but i mean a birthday is a level up so CONGRATS! you made it this far <3 idk why youre judging again ? /: youre so judgy T_T

THE CAKE WAS SUPER TASTY but i did this thing again where i got more because i wanted more even though there was still some in my plate and then i suddenly became full halfway finishing my plate and then i was T_T forcing myself to finish cos i dont like wasting food. anyway i brought it up with me and ate it after a few minutes... then...i ... got some more T_T HAAHAHAH

OMG YOUR MOM MAKES CAKES i immediately though does she doe international shipping HAHAH but even if she did T_T im pretty sure that would be a bad idea cos her cake would be .... not cake anymore by the time it got here T_T HAHAHA

'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you.

YOU HAVE FRIENDS WITH MUSIC TRAUMA HELPPPPPPP T_T also it's not bad! i just explained it to you because its VERY INTERESTING TO ME not because it's bad unexpected because before this there was no indication it was going to happen. im glad you think its great T_T i hope you understand somehow T_T i dont want to be telling you things and just confusing you T_T

'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

YOU DREW NOTES IN KINDERGARTEN !!!!!!!!!!! WHHHATT I ONLY STARTED DRAWING NOTES IN LIKE HIGHSCHOOL T_T. i dont want to be kissed by my teachers... only a select few. i take all your freezy kisses and put them in my pocket for when i go to school later

'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.

omg same! we did that for highschool, like translating eng to fil and fil to eng and its like T_T so much gets lost in translation T_T. i actually saw this video of this man helping a cat down from a really high post and he was like давайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавай and i was like ??? so i was like ok i think i know what that means but then the english translation wasnt the one in my head so iwas just very confused but then i thought its probably a lose translation and i am better than this english translator because i know nuisances happen in translations HAHAHAHAHAHAH but idk what the translation was in the subs anymore HAHAHAHAH

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

ok HAHAHA then ig that means its really not a bad word AHAAH

'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH i dont think its an insult T_T but i mean if people made memes about my president/culture id feel really cringe about it BUT ALSO ITS FUCKING TRUE OUR PRESIDENT is CRINGE. i think memes are a great way to kind of ... critique society. we are all cringe. and we should all be better. also i;ll tell my brother about this later HAHAHAH

nvm i talked to him already

he knows atomic heart, and he says he thinks the plot of the game is interesting because its imaging a world where the soviets were competent enough to advance technologically in such a short period of time. also he says he wants to start a violent conversation with you HHAHAHH what do you feel about ukraine and the kidnapping of ukraninan children by the russian military and the wagner group, also on a less serious side how do you feel about TES3 morowind.

i just typed that how he told it to me. HGAHAHHAHAAH

he says the real reason why he's interested in russian culture is the disparity between the serfs and stuff ??? he's ranting rn incant type it all. he says its the novels. he wants me to remove some parts im not going to AHHAHAHAHAHA. he says you should have been burned my napoleon HAHAHAHAH. he wants to tell you so many stuff T_T (i think he wants to steal you from me i wont let him ur mine)

he says people normally go 'i will die for justice i will die for freedom' but russian says 'i will die' he finds that interesting.

he's saying a bunch of stuff about russian people. some guy ??? i didnt' catch it. 'everything in russia became rapidly modern after being free from the mongols all the way to modern russia, your problem is the oligarchy and the leaders of your country T_T dumb shits' HAHAHAHAHA

russians are hardworking but yall are brainwashed from tzars to princesses to putin. yall should apparently follow france and VIVA REVOLUTION lol. idk he's mentioning more people, Hadrian? idk some rando... from rome? and aurelian? ok. too much info. idk.

'russia is third rome? why dont you do the same things that made rome good'

he knows roadside picnic?

ukraine is older than russia but its older

just typing the things he's saying

final word: the white army should have won against the red army. HAHAHHAHAH

He wants me to ask you: what do you think based on what he's said, is he unhinged™?

'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.

ok let me offend you then. i hate you :P SSKKSKS IM KIDDING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

i have not T_T i forgot about it aslfhasfkahfas i'll LISTEN WHEN I GET COME FROM SCHOOL I PROMISE

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

T_T no. we should have a house in the woods and take care of strays

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH ok then hahahah i still want to finish the kylo fic i have been writing for days so T_T

'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).

SO TRUE all these middle aged men that i love so much T_T ben barnes so pretty. AND THE HEADCANON WITH DAEMON L:ASHFLHASFLHASLFHASFH I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT TO LIVE IT T_T

'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.

it is interesting. i like this idea <3 daemon is at his core a baby bro. idk if its out of character, i think daemon can be whatever you him to be. My brother said daemon is the worst ever in game of thrones and ???? I asked him if he even read it and he said he only knows outside stuff (hes dumb idc i love Daemon) but he agrees that Daemon is great cos of hiss actor. And i agree i love matty meow meow

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

i'll tell you next letter i have to go home. i said i would go to school but i got lazy im just going to our old house to do laundry lol

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my brother read aloud this and i was like ??? what is he quoting this time and it was just you AHAHAHAHAHHAAH

'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.

i'll listen to these later i promise

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

OK HAHAHHAHAHAHH i will shower later. my brother said i should bathe/drink my own sweat DISGUSTING RAT.

i love you byeeee <3

i ate crinkles also i hope you like crinkles.

xxx

[starfilled-heart]

Imagine this: you've had a great day with your best friend and her roommate. Talked a bit about you going into a foreign country to visit your boyfriend. Long distance relationship. Now you have to meet with your parents. Ok. Anxiety rises up because of your father but you're trying to be positive. "Nothing happened. I think i was ok these days so my father will be ok with me tonight." Positivity, right? Optimism. You get into the cafeteria. A lot of foreign kids. Lots of noise to which you're sensitive. They're celebrating something. You're a bit jealous on their innocence and happiness, on their lack of hurt. You see your father's bald head and go to their table. They look ok. Tonight will be a smooth night. You go to them and say hi. Your mom looks at you a bit worried. Your father doesn't look at you. Fuck

You: Hi!

Father: she has nothing to discuss with me

Mom: apologize, please.

You: i don't even know what i did. But I'm sorry for angering you. I'm sorry

Under the table, mother makes hand signs that you know all too well to let you know to try to apologize better. While you don't even know what you did.

After a bit of discussion, you find out you've been treating your father like shit, apparently, he called you that same day 5 times! But you didn't answer! You look against your phone but you see no calls from him. What the fuck. You dare to go to a boy s house during fasting period. Your father reminds you again what happened to all your relatives that didn't respect the fasting period. "Respect God and it will be good for you. If you go to your boyfriend during the fasting period, the whole time there will be shitty for you. You will break up soon after". Who said i won't respect the fasting period???? Then you're informed that you treat your father like shit, again. Because you made a not so ok face when he mentioned he d like to be there at your departure. While you asked time to be with your best friend cuz you thought that would be the last time you'd get to talk to her.

You're trying to not let him shake your faith. God isn't how he portrays him. He can't be. He's loving, powerful and just. You're trying so hard to not let his discourse affect you and the faith that you worked so hard on having.

Mom: apologize please.

I try to apologize but i can't anymore. I start crying and trembling while I'm trying to hide my face with my pink hair from the kids that are 1 meter away and they're celebrating something. I want to protect them from the scene.

Rough words are thrown at me by my father. When i just cry and try to swallow my weeping, he starts ignoring me. He casually start talking to my mom about the latest news in the village they're living in. You let your friends and boyfriend know you re miserable.

You: if you have nothing to say to me anymore, i want to leave.

Your parents: no, we still have to talk.

Your father ignores you and your mom gives you a tissue for your issue.

Mom: it would help a bit if you'd speak softer. Tell her at least that you love her.

Father: she doesn't care! She doesn't care! So i won't! I did nothing wrong, i don't have anything to apologize for. She s the one in the wrong.

You don't know how many hours of therapy i did about wishing I'd hear you tell me i love you when you're not drunk out of your ass. You don't know me and you never will. The door to my heart and to my mind will forever be closed to you.

You start crying harder. Your mom tried. They offer to buy SMTH for you a second time. You refuse again.

You want to leave a second time. You're finally noticed and your mom shows you what she bought you. You choose and you try to tell them that you want to leave. Your father still wants to talk. You cry out that you can't talk more in that noise. You get your things and leave while trying to hide your face.

You cry even harder and see a group of adult dudes sitting in a corner. "Now if my father would touch me would they help me or they d just stand and watch? Probably the second one, knowing our country."

After a while your parents are out of the cafe.

The three of you start talking again. You just want to leave. Your father tries to embrace you but you don't let him.

Father: is that how it's gonna be? After all I've done for you, after all the money i give you. I could've been like my parents to you but im supporting you!

Is he that blind?

Your mom tries again to mediate the situation telling him to talk nicer and you to hug him. You refuse so he does the same. You hide behind your mother.

After more discussion, you leave crying. You go shopping and call your worried boyfriend for comfort...

By the time you go to sleep at 4 am, you've imagined killing yourself in at least 5 different ways, thought about self harm.

[aqenn]

the only way anyone in this house knows how to cope is retail therapy and personally I find that funny

[543634]

IM TALKING ABOUT MONEY AND MY childhood lmao its kinda long also some stuff might not make sense because of my awesome brain keeps thinking new sentences while im writing smth else

me and my sister are only two years apart yet when i was her age i was patiently waiting for my FOURTEENTH birthday when i finally got my first ever fucking smartphone and she got a fucking iphone a few months after she turned twelve and on her twelfth birthday she already got a phone but it wasnt good enough for her. and now she once again got the shit she wanted in the middle of the fucking year, not her birthday not on christmas or anything, no she wanted it randomly and just got what she wished for. my mom gifted her a fucking expensive ipad because my sister screamed long enough until my mom did what she wanted and to make ‘everything good again’ my mom said i can get a bike from her. for my sixteenth birthday. sure! yeah whatever you want, i definitely dont feel like shit because of the way im treated! no im really happy to get a bike! thank you!

and its not even because she got an ipad its because my mom always does everything for my little sister and when i jokingly say i want a pc she screams at me. right after she said i can wish for anything. cool. and then both of my parents keep complaining that they never know what i want because i never say anything. but the reason for that is my childhood!! when i was younger i always saw both of my parents saving as much money as possible, we had food and clothes and a home and that was it, we didnt had a tv or a car and most of my clothes were from strangers who no longer needed them and my mom always went for the cheaper options and gifts were only on special occasions like your birthday, or christmas and even then it was really not much, which i absolutely dont mind my younger self was happy with what it got. but i havent grown out of that mindset yet, i still guilty when i need to ask my parents anything money related which was one of the main reasons why i got a job. so i can be more independent and my parents need to spend less money on me. the situation has changed now and we are living way better but not much in my mind has changed so it feels so weird for me to ask for such a huge thing from my parents and then my parents also being okay with spending that much money? when i was younger i did ask for some expensive stuff and then my mom always pointed out the price and how we need to wait until its on sale or she just told me to get something cheaper. and so 8 year old me understood that expensive=do not buy. and this is still in my brain so thats like the reason im pissed rn

TL; DR: I HATE CAPITALISN

👍

thsi feels embarrassing to post

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hi, I want to ask you a few questions. It's about KNB. I know this was a few years ago but i still miss them. Before Akashi appeared, did you ship other pairings? I mean, some pairings other than Akakuro. Probably, Kagakuro, Aokuro, etc. And then between Akashi and Kuroko, who do you love the most? And why? Thanks ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

Oh, hey love! Yeah, I miss them too always you know that haha I keep thinking about the "this is not the end of KNB" and hopelessly wish for Teiko times extra lmao but I know it'll never happen lol

The only other ship I have in KNB is midotaka (also fell for them only in s3), never shipped Kuroko with anyone before Akashi appeared (actually at first thought that I won't have any ships at all in this anime), I do not see where was there anything besides friendships. Esp Aomine or Kagami, who just do not give me any gay or bi vibes at all after all the materials, and with Kuroko its all so bro-bro to them, that I can't imagine that.

And tbh I need too much stuff for me to start shipping someone, so in most stuff I do not get where it's coming from or just don't care. It takes a lot for me to care haha. Multishipping I also do not get, bc to me shipping is about wanting someone to end up together and when you don't care with whom, it means you... don't ship anything really haha. So what's with Kuroko gangbanging everyone who's not even sways there or interested I would never get. Also someone pls name smth that could be interpreted as romantic in any of those ships? Cause I fail to see it.

Lol how did you not get after my vids, who I love most???? I thought I was obvious ;) I adore them both, I think they're incredible characters really, but you know me, Akashi is my everything, I mean, I even have a cat named Akashi who is also a sweetheart xD As to why, oi, the list can go on forever. I just think he has an incredible character strength, but also despite all the bad things that happened, he's the kindest soul who buys his teammates mom lipstick, saves babies and in general surprisingly the most compationate sweet and reliable soul in GOM, been said by many. He's just everything I like tbh. I mean, at first I just fell for his incredible brain (I love them smart) and badassness ofc, but I wasn't too into him, even though I from the beginning cracked the exterior as usual, but when I got to know all of them, it was just impossible not to love him. He's also one of those who can seemingly do everything and help everyone and in ppl's opinion has to do stuff bc everyone expects it from him and is like "well of course he can, he's Akashi" and bc he never shows how hard it is or whines, everyone thinks its easy even tho it never is like for example his born physical stats are like Kuroko's level haha. It's how he helps silently and doesn't ask for anything in return and how mature he is. I mean the GOM trip abroad still T_T

I also love those who are confident and knows how to have fun. Like while others fight over who puts on a dress in a pair as if it's somehow would hurt their masculinity or smth, he's rocking red-riding hood costume, proudly letting Kuroko be his wolf haha. He's putting idiots in place by playing a simple rock paper scissors game, being a fox and winking his bf at the same time. He's.. perfect. And he's also like a man, not a boy, which is also very rare. I mean his state of mind, not the fact that he's been through a lot, it's seen in some silly things; it's hard to explain, but I think some would get what I mean :)

Would've never guessed actually just how loving he is, but I knew there had to be a reason as to why GOM respected and loved him so much and why his team's biggest scare was about him hurting yourself. I at first tbh thought it was more like a power thing, not the fact that they truly adore him. But then turned out that he's like the sweetheart that all of his neibourhood adores and then with all the sweet things he casually does, I was like "omfg you cannot be serious". So he's for sure my fav in KNB yes. What's not to love? xD

Kuroko I love too for other reasons. That's cause he's a sneaky little ass who pretends to be angelic (also my fav type) xD

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[khaleesiofalicante]

So I did end up reading the chapter last night only because I was in too much pain to focus on smth fluffy like One Last Stop so I decided why not more pain

As for what I did to treat myself today, I got Skittles, an iced coffee and this liquid yogurt (that's literally what it's called...) in the evening and I just bought more iced coffee. I also found one of my mom's old medical book and I've been flipping through it. Today's been good.

Ok back to the chp. First of all,

I'm sure captain Holt speaks for all of us when he says this.

Here's me going crazy at 1am

This chapter's gonna be them processing his death....

Jace...

No don't do this to me.

Fucking hell I just saw the marble episode.

David had always been equal parts terrified and in awe of Uncle Alec. She almost wanted to take a picture - a picture of David in Uncle Alec's arms.

David would have liked to keep that in his room. He would have used it as a bookmark for his favorite book.

Why is it always the good ones?? I'm in so much pain right now

David who was a literal angel...

I'm not ready for this. I really shouldn't be reading right now.

The necklace...that thing was following Max's scent and David had the necklace...

Alright I think I've seen everything 🙂

But sometimes, you didn’t need a parabatai. Sometimes, you need your family.

Lexi if you get hurt it won't bring him back. You can't get hurt please.

She had wanted him to be there.

She had wanted him to be there when she took Idris back.

She had wanted him to be there when Michael finally escaped the cohort to be with Selena.

She had wanted him to be there when she stepped into the Fairchild Manor for the very first time.

She had wanted him to be there when she dragged him around Fifth Avenue looking for the right suit for his wedding.

SO.MUCH.PAIN

Selena's the oldest now...DUDE NO-

Michael called her dearest 😭😭

Sorrow is all I have known...what is this strange new emotion

(this coffee is not good)

Is this what it’s going to be like for you, Alec wanted to ask. If so, I am glad I won’t be around to see it.

I don't know what you're talking about :D

Alec what are you hiding??? I'm so close to the edge don't do this now

Rafael...

I know I chose to put myself through this but sometimes I ask myself, why.

They're all in so much pain...I genuinely don't know what to say

Aww they're playing monopoly!!

What medicine? Wait brain not working lemme open Google

But it turned out it was because she was the worst at spending money and was an impulsive shopper.

He wanted to take her to Madison Avenue and buy her everything she wanted.

He would probably go broke by the end of it, of course. But he didn’t mind.

“You’re boobs look great,” Rafael and Camila said at the same time.

CAMILA NOT STRAIGHT?? oh wait we know she isn't straight. Well my brain isn't working.

Also this made me laugh and brightened my night

“That’s the lady who works with the Lesbian Alliance, right?” Camila asked.

Rafael blinked.

Anjali chuckled. “She means the Iron Sisters.”

“They are not lesbians!” Rafael pointed out.

“That’s homophobic,” Camila tutted.

“I’m obsessed with you,” Lily pointed out in a very matter-of-fact tone.

your honor I love them.

Wait what...

It's making them...less shadowhunter-y?

I'm so sorry for laughing I'm processing 4 character deaths right now, everything's hilarious

I'M GONNA FUCKING CRY WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS??

Whomever did this...bitch I'm coming for you

TF YOU MEAN THEY AIN'T GONNA BE SHADOWHUNTERS ANYMORE

“It’s bad luck to ignore a dying girl’s wish, Santiago,” Anjali grinned then.

And his heart broke.

No one fucking touch me I'm about to fall apart

“I like Max,” Anjali said then. “He is nice.”

“I could always just suck it out of them,” Lily winked.

“While I would pay good money to watch that, now is not the time,” Camile said, sounding like she actually meant it.

Same though.

I mean id let lily suck my blood-

AHEM ANYWAY

Crap I reached my image limit. This is homophobia

“I like Max,” Anjali said then. “He is nice.”

“Nice?” Rafael echoed. “You’re probably the first person to call him that.”

THEM!!!

“Be there for him, Rafael. Be there for your brother,” she said, wrapping her fingers around his. “You’re going to need him to be there for you very soon.

Y'all heat the sound of my heartbreaking?? DO YOU HEAR IT???

Imma find these bitches who did this and shove this awful coffee down their throats

I'm gonna go and watch some TikToks and ignore the pain :D

ily 😂

Here is one for tiktok for the pain.

This is Lexi and Liv when they find the assassin 🤭

[enhypenpal]

enhypen’s little sister, a series.

hi, luvs !! today in: rosie’s random ideas, we’ve got a new series. ꒰૮ꈍᵕꈍ꒱ა its title is up there. there’ll be seven parts, for the seven members. enjoy. <3

BEING HEESEUNG’S LITTLE SISTER.

the !! most !! spoiled !! sister !! ever. he’ll buy stuff for you at every shop he goes to.

“oh, y/nie will like this!” “isn’t this what y/n asked for christmas?”

probably texts you daily, like a little grandma 🥺 asks how you’re doing, and most likely tells you where he is always.

“hi y/n, i’m in the practice room rn i’m so tired but ily pls eat well” — text from heeseung.

will be the type to talk about you all the time, yet when people ask him to show pics of you, he’ll act like he doesn’t have a sister at all. he’s just so protective of you, he doesn’t want you dating until you’re like 50.

definitely a supportive brother. would be okay with your sexuality, the pronouns you wished to use. he seems like the understanding type, therefore he’d be the first you go to about this types of things !!

at first, he’d be reluctant introducing you to the boys because of how close you are in age, but he’d still trust them enough with you. when you do meet, he keeps you close all the time and tries to let them know you’re his little sissy. ):

you’d probably be closest to the 02z (jake, jay, & sunghoon!!) since they matched your energy the most. probably got along the best with sunghoon, since he’d be the most chill and reserved one of the three. i imagine heesung’s sister so calm and collected, with a crazy side too but yk.

most likely the mom of the maknae line, just because they’re three little babies. and you cook for them !! all the time. they’ve just got used to your meals at this point.

“heeseung hyung, when’s y/n noona gonna cook for us again?” “sunoo, you’re almost the same age as her—” “that’s not what i asKED ):”

you’d totally refrain from crushing on the guys and see them more like family, the way heesung does. i feel like it wouldn’t be ‘friend-zoning’, but rather seeing them as your other big brothers who take care of you alongside heesung.

ok, my fav part: WOULD TOTALLY HAVE HEESEUNG SAVED AS A MATCHING NAME W URS. for example, he’d have you as ‘lavagirl’ and you’d have him as ‘shark boy’, or smth like that.

your style & aesthetic would lie on the laid back type, probably. i’d see you as someone who doesn’t mind what others have to say about them; someone confident in their own body (AS YOU SHOULD !!) who doesn’t care what others have to say. <3

your relationship with heeseung would partake a really important place in your life. he’d be an example and an inspiration for you.

buying matching bracelets to be with each other always. you’re just close like that !!

teasing him because of his funny moments in i-land is a must. you’ll probably have your gallery full of memes of him in the show. and whenever you send one of the other members he’d be ‘mad’ because you can’t like my bros y/n yk that !!

overall, have a really sweet relationship filled with love & support, and a lil bit of playful times. he’d be a really good big brother. 🥺