#I wish I had a Peter Kavinsky

[theoversky]

Why Kittyuri should be endgame?

So let’s see Kitty’s options until now:

1.Dae Heon Kim: a reason

Dae was literally 1/2 main reasons why Kitty applied to KISS. They spend majority of S1 figuring out how to be together and when they’re finally dating Kitty found out she’s actually in love with Yuri.

It’s sad or funny the fact Dae was too perfect for Kitty and maybe for that, no one ships Dae/Kitty.

2.Min Ho: a season

S1 was for Dae/Kitty, S2 will be for Min Ho/Kitty.

I actually shipped 50% Kitty with Min Ho and 50% Kitty with Yuri, but after so many bifobic fanbase I really wish Kittyuri is endgame at the end of the series.

Min Ho fanbase is terrible, they use weak excuses to not validate that fact Kitty is in love with Yuri, even her sexuality. That’s so real that the one and only Jenny Han had to reply a comment on instagram validating Kitty’s bisexuality and her love for Yuri. Also Jenny had to close some comments on instagram because of Min Ho’s fanbase spamming every single “XO Kitty” photo asking for their couple.

Arguments like

A)“but Juliana and Yuri fought so hard to be together” when Juliana did absolutely NOTHING to be with Yuri, but KITTY was the one to give Yuri her girlfriend back

B) “Kittyuri happened because of a dream” bitch didn’t Min Ho/Kitty started the same way?

C) “You guys can’t ship Kittyuri because you don’t support when bisexual people date opposite gender”

D) “Kittyuri isn’t healthy because you don’t want Yuri to be with her black girlfriend, that’s racism”

E) “Kittyuri doesn’t have chemistry and Gia Kim is too old to kiss Anna”

Are some examples of this fandom behaviour and that’s why I am now 100% team Kittyuri. I don’t think Min Ho is the worst but I also don’t think he is the best. And I don’t even mentioned he’s Dae’s best friend but people send hate to Kitty and Yuri as couple or separated in order to prop Min Ho excusing ALL his toxic behaviours.

3.Yuri Han: Lifetime

Yuri Han is the series main villain in S1, she’s responsible for Kitty’s unhapiness and the fact that her and Dae can’t be together. Kittyuri are the real enemies to lovers from this tv show. Min Ho was an asshole to Kitty for nothing, Yuri had a reason the whole time.

Plus we can’t forget Kittyuri is the one and only main LGBT ship from Jenny Han’s universe. It was a real plot twist in a very straight universe and as a bisexual girl I really felt the representativeness’ of Kitty falling in love with a girl without even having a relationship with her. Even as friends.

For this season, I expect Yuri in deny to believe Kitty really likes her until find out Kitty is bi and hanging out with other girls. A very jealous Juliana chasing Yuri’s relationship with Kitty and every step about Yuri’s reaction founding out Kitty is bi. The trailer (and S1) was pretty clear that Juliana is jealous of Kitty, even when Kitty was the person to reconnect them again.

Before everything, analyzing the trailer it seems Kitty will write letters to the person she loves (it’s a Covey’s thing apparently) and Yuri’s friends will find them and tell everybody about this. I don’t think she addresses Yuri’s name since Yuri is rolling eyes when Jealous Juliana passes throught the door and Kitty acts like she had been exposed. I don’t think Yuri would react like that because she doesn’t figure Kitty could like her, but Juliana suspects for the whole S1.

Also I guess Peter Kavinsky will be Kitty’s bisexuality’s cheerleader and be the person to push Kitty to explore her sexuality with both genders. Peter and Min Ho promotional is pretty like a straightbait to me, since the fandom is majority Team Min Ho and I can bet Jenny Han will fight for Kittyuri. I’m afraid for Netflix wanting fanservice for Team Min Ho, but I guess Kitty will try to like Min Ho back in S2 and they can work until Yuri finds out Kitty likes her at some point and break up with Juliana.

So S3 will be with about Min Ho/Kitty break up and Kittyuri finally connecting. I HOPE at least.

[velvetsupremacy]

Red Velvet Holiday Series (Yeri)

Prompt: Watching holiday movies

You watched as Yerim stared in awe at the scene before her, her eyes wide with surprise. Slowly, you removed your hands from where you had been shielding her eyes.

“You did this… for me?” she asked, her voice soft with amazement.

“Of course, baby,” you replied with a smile, your heart swelling as she continued to take in the effort you’d put in, recognizing the immense love you had for her.

Though Yerim was the type of girlfriend who loved teasing you and engaging in playful banter, you knew deep down she was a hopeless romantic. She was the kind of person who dreamed of having her own Peter Kavinsky to her Lara Jean - someone who would go the extra mile for her, just as she was always willing to do for you. And you were more than happy to fulfill every wish she had.

You remembered that before you and Yerim started dating, she had mentioned wanting to spend a cozy night in with her partner, watching holiday movies and cuddling under the softest blanket imaginable. So, you decided to make that dream come true, and then some.

You went all out: you signed up for every streaming service available to ensure she’d have a wide selection of movies to choose from, bought the fluffiest blankets and pillows, set up a romantic ambiance with soft LED lights, and lit apple-pumpkin scented candles to enhance the mood. You even gathered all of her favorite snacks, making sure that every detail was perfect for your time together. Yerim’s eyes widened as she took in the cozy setup, her gaze moving from the twinkling LED lights to the fluffy blankets and pillows.

“Wow, this is… amazing,” she said, her voice full of appreciation. She ran her fingers over the blankets, her lips curling into a playful smirk. “You really went all out, huh?”

You leaned back against the couch, giving her a sly grin. “Of course, anything for you. You deserve it.”

She raised an eyebrow, pretending to be shocked. “Oh? So I’m the one getting all this special treatment, huh?”

“Obviously,” you said, pulling her closer by the hand. “Anything for you.”

Yerim leaned in, her voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Hmm, I bet you’d even let me steal the last piece of pizza, wouldn’t you?”

You gave her a dramatic look, tapping your chin like you were deep in thought. “Well, I might let you have it… but only if you promise to share the blanket, and the popcorn with me.”

She leaned in, her breath warm against your ear as she whispered, “I’ll share the pizza… if you’re ready to lose the popcorn toss challenge.”

The challenge was a bit you guys started as friends, and it only grew much more special as you became a couple.

You pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “Popcorn toss challenge, huh? You’re on.”

As you got comfortable on the couch, Yerim grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, but before she could hit play, she paused. “Okay, we need to start with Home Alone,” she declared, her voice filled with excitement. “It’s a must for any holiday movie night.”

You chuckled. “You know, you’re a little obsessed with that movie.”

She shot you a playful grin. “It’s a classic! Besides, it’s not like I’m asking for anything crazy. Just a little Macaulay Culkin to kick things off.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Fine, fine. Home Alone it is. But don’t say I didn’t warn you - it’s my third time watching it this month.”

She winked at you, hitting play with a flourish. “What’s that? You’re already in the holiday spirit?”

Before you could respond, Yerim grabbed a piece of popcorn, holding it between her fingers like a pro. “Alright, here’s how it’s gonna go,” she said, eyeing you like a skilled athlete. “Popcorn toss challenge. First to three points wins.”

You smirked, ready to take her on. “Bring it on.”

She tossed the first piece with precision, aiming for your mouth. You leaned back dramatically, letting the piece fly right past you. “Missed!” you teased, grinning ear to ear.

Yerim gasped, clutching her chest. “Oh, you didn’t just do that.” You shrugged nonchalantly. “I couldn’t help it. That throw was too easy.”

She grabbed another piece, winding up like she was throwing a baseball. This time, she let it fly toward you with deadly accuracy. You opened your mouth wide, but as the popcorn came closer, you leaned back dramatically, the piece bouncing harmlessly off your nose.

Yerim burst out laughing. “Okay, that was a huge miss!”

“Hey!” you protested, trying to contain your own laughter. “It’s harder than it looks, okay?”

“Well, you definitely need some practice,” she teased, grabbing another handful and tossing it toward you. This time, you managed to catch it perfectly in your mouth, looking smug as you chewed. “That’s one point for me.”

Yerim pouted playfully. “You’re lucky. You won’t get away with that again.”

“You sure about that?” you teased, reaching for another piece of popcorn and aiming at her. You tossed it gently, but instead of landing in her mouth, it hit her square in the forehead.

You both stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Nice shot,” she said between giggles, rubbing her forehead. “But you’re still not winning.”

The challenge continued, but neither of you could stop laughing long enough to take it seriously. At one point, Yerim tried to throw a piece into your mouth, but you ducked dramatically, letting it fall into your lap instead.

“You’re terrible!” she accused, poking your side.

You smirked. “I was just giving you a chance to catch up.”

“Well, you might need to catch up,” she shot back. “It’s tied now, so next one wins!”

Just as the movie reached a hilarious scene, you both leaned in for the final toss. Yerim, full of confidence, tossed one last piece toward you. With all the precision you could muster, you leaned forward, catching it perfectly in your mouth, throwing your arms in the air triumphantly.

“I won!” you cheered.

Yerim groaned playfully. “Alright, alright, you win. But don’t think this is over.”

You grinned, leaning back and pulling her into your side as the movie continued. “We’ll see about that. For now, though, I think we’ve earned a little break from the challenge.”

Yerim snuggled closer, her head resting on your shoulder. “I suppose. But I’ll be ready to take you down next time.”

You kissed the top of her head, smiling. “I’ll be waiting.”

And just like that, the playful teasing and lighthearted banter continued, as the two of you settled into the perfect holiday night - full of laughter, comfort, and the kind of love that made every moment feel like a movie scene itself.

[snickerdoodle102]

New Year, New Me

 I never really thought about starting a blog. 

Perhaps it was because I grew up keeping my personal feelings to myself, within my mind, within my voice. After all, those thoughts and feelings were mine and mine alone, and the thought of sharing my personal feelings made me feel cringe and all icky inside. I'm sure many of you, whoever you are, can relate to this dilemma. 

There were times where I tried to keep a diary, but they never last more than two pages before I found myself cringing and wishing I never picked up that sparkly pink pen onto lined paper. It just didn't feel right for me.

When it came down to it, I expressed my intense feelings through the visual arts. Sketching and coloring in my sketchbook, putting visuals and compositions together to show what it was I was feeling. 

Though when my feelings were getting too intense to be simply be expressed through visuals, I turned to listening to a variety of music, where they were able to put my thoughts and feelings into melodies and lyrics. 

Although, I suppose that was never enough to quench the emotions. 

Besides being a strong artist, I was also strong in the subject of literature and writing. Thanks to my mom, who taught me how to read and cherish books, as well to my deceased grandpa, who was a famous screen writer and director in the Philippines. For as long as I've known, I've loved creating stories and characters, who I would then give visuals to with my artworks. This gave me a creative edge to my writings, as well as having a bit of a dramatic flair to it if I was really feeling it. Along side it, I also enjoyed writing essays in English (yes I know, I'm a masochist), which in turned made me enjoy analyzing and exploring themes. Together, I had the power to create decent writings, at least enough for others to be entertained and to get good grades. 

It was actually thanks to those numerous personal essays that I had to do in high school that finally let me be comfortable expressing my emotions. At least in writing form, expressing them in person is something I'm still working on. 

The inspiration of creating the blog, came in the same day that I'm posting this. I was feeling highly emotional, perhaps it was my period coming or perhaps it being a first-year art college student in New York, dealing with a surplus of emotions, but I needed an outlet, bad. Like. Real bad. 

When I got home from a night out with friends, I was watching season 2 of Netflix's "XO Kitty", then, because of my short attention span I switched to "To all the Boys I Loved Before: Always and Forever." It was then, as Laura Jean was writing her heartfelt post cards to Peter Kavinsky, inspiration struck. 

It made sense that Laura Jean was my inspiration to start this blog. We were practically almost the same person. We both were hopeless romantics, looking for love. We both shared a love for writing, and viewed life with a vivid and passionate outlook. Not to mention, the both of us were New York college students. 

There was no better person to inspire me to start this new path in my life. 

 I know this may never get any views, nor maybe never even discovered, but knowing that there's a small, a very small chance mind you, of someone reading this, inspires me to continue to write. To no longer be afraid of expressing my emotions and that maybe I can help others express their feelings as well. 

And so with that, I wrap up my very first blog post. May fate do what is does best, for this blog and for myself. 

[advluv4life]

Did I go on a full-on rant about Peter Kavinsky's character plot from To All the Boys 3, because I love it so much and nobody seems to appreciate it? Yes I did.

😘

Out of context, but this is it:

It upsets me (just a little bit, I don't want to be like super hung up on it though) when people watch the movies and completely disregard Peter and his feelings.

I understand the movies are about Lara Jean and honestly I relate so much to Lara Jean, but Peter's character arc, through all the films but especially the third movie.. I related a lot more to it than Lara Jean's. I feel like when I go back and watch the other two movies; when he brings up his dad, and his family, and his friendship with Gen.. I understand why in the second movie he doesn't just abandoned Gen when she was going through the same thing he went through. Because she's his friend and he's not going to just leave his friend behind. So of course it hurts when Lara Jean decides to leave him (even if she didn't intend to break up with him, that's just what it feels like when people pick other things over him). He's been left and it hurts.

I've never been anybody's first choice either. And in Peter's case he doesn't have multiple college options, he can't afford it and he doesn't have the brains to get into top colleges like Lara Jean which is why Stanford was the plan. But of course all people see is him breaking up with her because he's 'selfish' and then he wrote a sappy love letter and got her back without even trying.

Yes, Peter had stuff he had to work through. No one in these movies is perfect. Everyone has their own shit to go through and they have to come to their own realization of how they need to grow and how to care for other people and just because he's not perfect doesn't mean he's not a good guy.

So what? He's not the male version of Lara Jean, but I don't think Lara Jean needs the male version of herself to be happy. I wish had someone who was as attentive as Peter, who picks up on little things, and tries to find a solution to problems before it become more of an issue. Someone who, even when they're heartbroken that something doesn't work out for them, is more concerned with how I'm handling it. When he asked if she was okay in NY? That got me. She said she was scared to tell him and he told her that she didn't have to be scared and the next time (with NYU) she told him. At the cafe he told her they were 'good' even when he was lost, because he didn't want to cause her trouble or pain. It was only when she tried (unintentionally) to manipulate him prom night that he put his foot down and walked away. And that's his right he is his own person he has his own feelings.

He worked through his issues with his dad and they're mending their relationship and in turn he realized how to mend his relationship with Lara Jean and that's what you do. You learn through your experiences. Everything that happens in your life is interconnected. Their relationship doesn't exist in a vacuum. Lara Jean had to grow on her own through multiple films in regards to how she viewed love and the future and Peter had to grow on his own in regards to his attachment issues. They're both their own individual people who are going to grow on their own for the next four years and they'll see where they end up, but I thought it was a very good plot and I really appreciated that Lara Jean wasn't the only character in the whole movie series that mattered.

See, I said I don't want to get hung up on it and then I went on a whole rant. Sorry, not sorry lol. It's been fun. Bye.

[deckertar]

Like the 1950s. Remember, Lara Jean?

[alexandrarosa]

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE | PS I LOVE YOU | ALWAYS AND FOREVER (Lara Jean Song Covey & Peter Kavinsky)

COVINSKY HEADCANONS (post book) pt 2

Peter wears the character socks Lara Jean got him in Korea. He likes the ones with the tigers. Somebody made fun of them. Once

Peter wanted LJ to have their photo in her dorm. He chose a selfie they took at one party. He decorated the frame himself. Lara Jean cried when she got it

Peter was still considering transferring to North Carolina but didn’t tell Lara Jean about it. She surprised him with something better. After two years she transferred to UW. She liked North Carolina but she liked Peter more. Peter cried so much that day. LJ swears she didn’t see it

After graduating Lara Jean and Peter decide to do what they wanted years before: they move to New York

The wedding took place in the Covey’s garden. At the end of the night everybody got a colorful lantern to write a wish on, light and send into the sky. Peter and Lara Jean didn’t write anything. They had all they’ve been dreaming of

[sweetbuckybarnes]

You broke my heart, Covey

Pairings: Lara Jean Song-Covey + Peter Kavinsky

Summary: Peter's POV, after Lara Jean breaks up with him. Post-Ski Trip, the first film.

I could only watch with a broken heart as the girl I love walks away from me. It had taken me weeks, WEEKS, to realise that the feelings I had for her before the first kiss we'd ever shared (my first kiss!) had never left him.

All I wanted was for Lara Jean to turn around, run back to me, promising to listen to me and mend my broken heart.

But I know I've got no chance of ever getting her.

All because I was stupid enough to tell Gen the truth. That it's over, and I'm head over heels in love with Lara Jean.

Like I have been since the beginning of 6th grade.

I'd always known about Lara Jean, even for a brief period when we were somewhat friends. That was a time I'd never forget.

Then we shared a kiss during a game of Spin the Bottle, in a basement I can't remember, and it was the kiss that changed my idea of girls (my idea of girls had been changed when I first fell for Lara Jean).

But then Lara Jean stopped speaking, I know that Gen was involved in that - because when Lara Jean stopped speaking to me, she started hanging around with Chris - Gen's cousin and Gen started pursuing me.

All I could think about was if I had pursued Lara Jean after we'd kissed, and disregarded Gen like I should have done.

Because of Gen, I've lost the only girl I'll ever love.

I pull up in my car to my home, I've been holding tears in my eyes since Lara Jean walked away.

Picking up my duffle bag from the seat where Lara Jean usually sits, and quickly walk into the house.

My mom looks up when she hears me slam the door heavily and sees how heartbroken I look.

"Peter, darling? What's wrong?" She asks, walking over to me after telling my little brother Owen how to do a question on his homework.

One look at my mom and I instantly turned into the tiny child that needed my mother. I remembered when my dad left, how I'd held onto her and sobbed, thinking I wasn't enough.

"Lara Jean and I broke up," I sniffle, as tears start rolling down my cheeks. Even though my mom didn't know the extent of my 'relationship' with Lara Jean, but after the hot tub scenario, and the bus ride back - that felt like I was truly in a proper relationship with her.

My mom's face falls. "Peter," her soft voice making my sniffles turn into sobs. She reached up and hugged me tightly, as I gripped the back of her top, and buried my face into her neck.

"I love her, mom," I whimper, as she takes me into the living room and sits me down on the sofa. I think this is when my mom realises how real this relationship was for me.

She brings me closer. "Oh my darling," she presses multiple kisses into my hair.

I'm watching from over mom's shoulder as Owen walks towards me with a tub of ice cream. I force a smile. "Thanks, Owen,".

"Sorry you got your heartbroken," he says and walks back to do his homework. Now I wish I was as close to Owen as the Covey girls were.

[vampiregirl1797]

Hoodies & Lacrosse

Peter Kavinsky x Reader

 GIF Not Mine

 For my Masterlist, Click Here.

 Word Count: 1,566

 A/N: This one was requested by the awesome @mychemicalimagines​. I hope this is everything you imagined it to be, lovely! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get this done for you, but I’ve been so swamped with uni work and placement that I’ve just had no motivation for writing. But inspiration struck tonight and I decided to put it to good use.

A/N/Pt2: If you’re in to Friends and Twilight check out their imagines! The series’ are so good and addictive, I cannot recommend them enough! Leaving a link to the Masterlist HERE.

 I blinked owlishly, trying to make my eyes feel less exhausted, but it was to no avail—I’d been unable to sleep last night and I was unwilling to admit that it was because Peter had asked for his hoodie back. I’d taken it months ago, well not purposefully, he’d just left it behind one day after we’d been hanging out. I’d been chilly that night, and I figured I’d throw it on, only to discover it was the comfiest thing ever—it was huge on me and it smelled of him, and so I’d grown accustomed to how content and safe it made me feel. Obviously I hadn’t realised how much I’d grown to rely on it to sleep until last night at around three in the morning, when I realised it was the first time in months I’d gone to bed not wearing it.

 I yawned, pulled my cardigan tighter around me, and took a large gulp of the coffee I’d poured myself before leaving the house to head to school. I’d managed to drop off around five in the morning, which led to me sleeping through my first four alarms. By some grace of god, I’d made it to first period as the bell rang. I finished off my coffee, and threw the disposable cup into the recycling bin on my way out of the room—thank god I’d had the beverage as my first period had been math; I’d have definitely dozed off without it.

 ‘Hey, Y/N! Wait up!’ I paused at the sound of my best friend’s voice, mixed feelings erupting through me. Tiredness made me clingy, which Pete was used to, but I was also a little pissed being as in my mind it was his fault I was tired to begin with.

 ‘Hey, asshat’ I grumbled, wrapping my arm around his waist and melting into his comforting warmth.

 He chuckled, ‘such wonderful greetings from you, Y/N. It’s a wonder my head fits through the halls with how much you boost my ego.’

 I rolled my eyes, an involuntary smile forming on my face, ‘I’m tired, I think I got thirty minutes of sleep last night. I can’t to go home and sleep until Sunday.’

 ‘Why didn’t you sleep? Is there something on your mind?’ I felt my irrational irritation with him soften at the concern in his voice; he knew me well enough to know if I had trouble sleeping, it usually meant there was something on my mind causing my insomnia.

 ‘No, I just didn’t realise how much I’d come to rely on your hoodie until you took it away.’ I felt my lips form into a slight pout, and had I not been exhausted and as a result, needy, I would have been embarrassed.

 My head was tucked into his side, my face against his chest, and so I missed the soft, fond look that overtook his expression. I did notice the new girl giving us a look of longing and jealousy, but I ignored her. The other students would clue her in soon enough—we were friends, best, best friends. It may look like we were more due to how touchy we both were with each other, but our relationship didn’t extend beyond a deep, meaningful friendship. It had taken a while for everyone to understand it, and to stop giving us the same look the new girl was giving us now, but they learned eventually.

 ‘How about this…’ Peter’s voice bought me back to the conversation, ‘you come to my game tonight, and I’ll give you my hoodie to keep forever.’

 I bit my lip to hide my smile; it was typical Peter Kavinsky. He knew I wouldn’t miss one of his games—I was always there, rain or shine, wearing his jersey and cheering him on. But he was sweet enough to make it sound like I was doing him a favour when in reality, it was him who was doing something nice for me, by making sure I got his hoodie doing something I was planning on anyway.

 I looked up to him, ignoring how my heart fluttered when he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear when it fell in front of my eyes, ‘you’d give up your favourite hoodie, for me to come to your game?’

 I felt my heart melt at the bashful expression that overtook his features, ‘of course I would. I mean it took me months to realise you had it anyway. Clearly it means more to you than it does to me.’

 ‘You make a good point.’ I teased, biting my lip as I thought and missing the way his eyes followed the movement, ‘okay, if you’re really okay with it, you have a deal.’

 ‘Awesome.’ He grinned, and I found myself subconsciously beaming back at him, powerless to not return his happiness.

 //

 ‘Come on, Peter!’ I mumbled under my breath, the tension in the air palpable and affecting everyone, it was as if we were all holding our breath in anticipation, ‘you’ve got this!’

 Peter ran forward, passed the defence and took his shot at the goalie. It was so quiet I could hear the puck hitting the back of the net and I was unable to hold back my cheer of happiness, which seemed to snap everyone else out of their shock and they joined me. Brown eyes found mine and I felt my heart skip a beat as he unclipped his helmet, tucked it under his arm and made his way over to me, easily bypassing the rest of the audience who’d flooded the pitch. I felt my heart beat pick up and by the time my best friend reached me, my heart was pounding against my ribs. He was watching me with such intensity, that it made my knees feel weak. His beautiful brown eyes were soft with an emotion that I couldn’t identify, as well as fondness, happiness and determination. I had no idea what to expect when he finally joined me on the stands, but when he tossed his helmet aside, and placed both of his hands on my cheeks, I knew that everything was about to change. And when his lips met mine in a tender, tentative kiss, I threw my arms around his neck and succumbed to it. It was meant to be, and I was powerless to fight the passion, and the intensity that moved between us. But more importantly, I didn’t want to.

 //

 Third Person POV

 Daisy Hank didn’t know what to think when she attended her second day of school. It seemed that there was a buzz in the air from the moment she walked through the doors, as if something had happened and everyone was talking about it. She felt a nervous knot form in her stomach, worried that it was somehow about her, but after a few deep breaths and reassurances it dissipated. There was no way it could be about her; she’d only started yesterday and she hadn’t spoken to anyone for long enough for her to accidentally reveal anything embarrassing.

 She frowned and walked to her locker, trying to focus her hearing to pick up what was going on from the group of girls that were gossiping next to her locker. She opened it up and pretended to search for something as she managed to get close enough to listen in.

 ‘Is it true? Peter and Y/N are actually together?’ one of the girls murmured, Daisy didn’t know any of their names, but she could easily hear the disappointment in her voice.

 ‘Yup, apparently it happened last night at the lacrosse game. He scored the winning game and ran on the stands to kiss her.’ This girl sounded dreamy, and Daisy felt herself instinctively relax a little at the absence of aggression in her tone.

 ‘It was like a Cinderella Story. So romantic.’ The third girl mirrored the second’s tone and even sighed.

 ‘So unfair. Kavinsky is the most attractive guy at this school, now what—‘ the first girls bitterness was cut off by an elbow to her abdomen.

  Daisy frowned, until she followed their gaze and saw the aforementioned couple walking down the hall. They were in the same position as yesterday; her arm around his waist, his over her shoulders and her face tucked against his chest. And yet, there was a definite change between them, Daisy noticed. Maybe it was because Y/N was wearing a hoodie that was obviously his, or because he now had her backpack slung over his shoulder along with his own, or maybe it was the soft, fond and loving way they looked at each other. But either way, a change was definitely there, and Daisy once again found herself wishing that she had someone who looked at her the way they were observing each other, just like she had yesterday when she’d first laid eyes on them. Except now, she only wanted it more, because unlike yesterday the love and affection they had for each other was radiating from them without restriction. It was as beautiful as it was mesmerising and Daisy released a dreamy sigh of her own as she slammed her locker shut at the sound of the school bell. As she made her way to English, she hoped one day, she would find someone who loved her like that.

[collecting-stories]

Worst of You - Peter Kavinsky

A/N: Got this idea from the song Worst of You by Maisie Peters. I love Peter in the movie but book Peter is kind of a douche honestly. 

\\\

“Kavinsky!” Someone shouted from the kitchen, their voice shocking you enough that you flinched as you looked up from the book you were reading, eyes running across the crowd of teens to find Peter. Gen was on his arm, one of her friends trailing behind with a date who didn’t look familiar enough to matter. You watched him greet friends, that same bright smile on his face. The one he’d worn yesterday while you were trying to explain the World Lit assignment to him. You were only at this party because he had invited you.

You had been waiting anxiously for him to finally show up, a million thoughts distracting you from the book you were trying to read. What would he wear? How would he look? Good, like always, irresistible even. You wanted to look disinterested in his arrival. Find someone that you could talk to so that you could pretend you hadn’t spent hours debating outfits and going over imaginary conversations in your head. What would you say to him? Would he approach you without Gen on his arm or would you just be a passing nod or wave as he commanded the crowd?

Some brushed passed you as they made their way into the living room and the thick of the party. The red cup they carried sloshed alcohol over the rim and the sight had your mind focusing in on the thought that maybe beer would help with the nerves you were trying to combat. You hadn’t wanted to be drunk when Peter showed up but now, he was here so what was the harm? You couldn’t embarrass yourself more than you felt like you already were, standing in the kitchen waiting for the most popular boy in school, who was ‘madly in love’ with his girlfriend, to notice you. An insignificant, nobody who was good at tutoring but not at talking to people.  

“Can I get some of that?” You asked, crowding in beside some of the guys from the lacrosse team as they linger around the keg that had been brought in. One of them looked at you as if he’d never seen you before and you wished you could write that off as him being already drunk.  

“Yeah, man, here! Fill up!” Another practically shouted, grabbing a cup for you and filling it almost to the rim. You took the cup gratefully and gulped some down as the guys around you cheered, clearly excited by the prospect of some nice-looking girl chugging a 16oz cup of beer. Cheap beer. Gross beer. But you chugged until the cup was full and then asked for another.  

Three drinks in and you were feeling the fog. Giggling at anything anyone said as you stood in the kitchen. The lacrosse boys that had been filling your cup seemed to find you increasingly interesting and vice versa. You were leaning against one of them, laughing as another told a joke you honestly couldn’t comprehend in your stupor. You weren’t completely far gone but enough so that you weren’t feeling so anxious anymore and when Peter entered the kitchen to grab drinks for himself and Gen you didn’t even notice. Not until he was approaching you, reaching his hand out and grabbing your arm to pull you out of the group of lacrosse players.

“Can I talk to you?” It was posed as a question but there was nothing in his tone to suggest you had the opportunity to reject his request. He pulled you out the kitchen door onto the back patio that was dimly lit. The handmade, poster-board sign that someone had taped to the door strictly forbid the use of it but Peter ignored that as he steered you somewhere more private.  

Whoever was sober enough to remember it tomorrow would mention, somewhere in their recount of the party, that Peter had pulled you aside but hopefully it would die out as just a small detail that was inconsequential. Meeting accidentally in the line for the bathroom or at the keg or in a hallway was one thing, it could be easily excused as him being nice. But this was something else. This wasn’t just being nice.

“What Peter?” The excitement and anticipation of seeing him had worn off and the edge the fourth drink was giving you was making you a little snarkier than usual. And why not. Here he was, at a party with Gen, as usual, and here you were, desperately waiting for him to notice you at the party. But you were always going to just be the girl that he noticed, that he waved to or winked at or nodded to when no one else was looking. Not good enough for public and the fourth drink was well aware of that.

“What are you doing with those guys? They’re total losers.”

“They’re your friends.”

“Yeah, so don’t you think I know that they are? Come on, don’t get mixed up in that. They aren’t any good.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.  

He knew you would be here tonight and when he walked in you were the first person he looked for, even with Gen’s hand anchoring him to the living room. And now, now that he had finally escaped her grip, he was standing here across from you on the patio after pulling you away from a group of guys. Any of them would have been happy to take you out, to spend the rest of the night with you while they got drunker and drunker and you got drunker and drunker.  

“Oh and you are?” You questioned. Four drink you was ballsy. “You’re here with Gen.”

“She’s my girlfriend. What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m not doing this tonight Peter.” You couldn’t tell if you were getting all your words across the way you wanted to. There was a haze between your brain and your mouth that you couldn’t quite shake off.

“Come on, please.” Peter grabbed your arm, stopping you from reentering the kitchen. “Please.”

“I don’t wanna do this tonight.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He apologized, pulling you back toward him, hands on your hips as he leaned in close. “I want to be here with you trust me. I wish it was us out there together. That I could kiss you with everyone watching but...not yet, just give me a little more time.”

“I don’t know-”

“Please, I’m begging you. It’s you, I swear. I don’t care about Gen anymore, it’s just you. I just need time, I wanna do this right, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

You had heard the same line a million times over. That he wanted to ‘do this the right way’ and he didn’t want to ‘hurt anyone’. Drunk, tipsy, high, sober, you’d heard it repeated a million times and you said to yourself every day when you had to watch them together in the halls or in class. It meant nothing, just empty words he said to string you along and convince you that he wasn’t a massive douche for not breaking up with his girlfriend when he was seeing you on the side.

“Please?” He asked again, kissing you this time. A risk but one he knew would pay off. Because you could make a million excuses out of that risk. He’d been willing to kiss you at the party even if it was on the back patio where no one could see him. He’d been willing and didn’t that mean something?

You really wanted it to.

“I’m gonna go.” Suddenly the allure of the party was gone and you couldn’t remember why you thought it was a good idea to come here in the first place.

“Can I come over tonight?” He asked, not quite letting you go yet.

“Okay.” You nodded and just like that you the excuses were running through your head. A million and one reasons why Peter Kavinsky was worth all the trouble.  

-

My second To All the Boys fic ever.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Passing Notes Part 2–– Peter Kavinsky

Part 1

I walked into school the next day, unable to stop the smile from forming when I saw Peter leaning against my locker. He sent me a weird face as we made eye contact, making me laugh.

I walked up to my locker, laughing when I noticed Peter purposefully blocking it. "Peter," I sighed teasingly.

"What?" He asked, faking innocence. I sent him a look that made him break. He dramatically stepped aside so I could get to my locker.

As I was putting books away and grabbing others, I felt Peter standing behind me. I gasped when he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his chin on my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I laughed.

"A new guy on my team is checking you out and I don't like it," he whispered. I laughed but instantly stopped.

Peter doesn't have to keep his teammates away from you. They already avoid you like the plague.

I cleared my throat as I unwrapped his arms from me. "He probably wasn't," I mumbled. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Peter studying me, a hurt expression on his face.

I closed my locker and turned around to see Peter still studying me. "What?" I asked.

"He was, Y/N."

"Yeah, right." I laughed, rolling my eyes. I tried to walk to class, but Peter stopped me.

"His name is Jake. He made the team this year. Whenever he sees you at practice or our games, he asks me about you and what your deal is."

"My deal?" I scoffed. "You don't have to lie to me, Peter. I doubt any guy on your team would check me out."

I walked a few steps away from him before he caught up to me. "Y/N, stop." He grabbed my hand and spun me around. His eyes bore into mine like he was trying to read my expression.

With his hand still wrapped around mine, he reached in his back pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. I looked down and read my name written on the top in Peter's handwriting.

"This is for you," he whispered. I looked up at him before looking back down at the note. I hesitated before grabbing it from him.

When I looked back up at him, his note in my hand, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek. Peter pulled away and just looked at me before turning on his heel and walking to class.

I bit back a smile as my cheek burned where he kissed it. My stomach dropped when I saw Gen glaring at me. I shoved the folded note into my pocket before putting my head down and scurrying off to class.

                       * * * * *

The next few days, Peter kept handing me notes, slipping them into my backpack, or dropping them on my desk as he walked by. Every time he did, it seemed like Gen was always there, watching us.

And she was pissed.

I was sitting at lunch, trying to avoid Gen's murderous glare, when someone sat in front of me, making me jump.

"You've been abnormally jumpy lately," Peter laughed. His smile fell when he saw me picking at the wrapper on my waterbottle. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I stuttered. I looked over his shoulder to see Gen still glaring at me.

"Y/N, what are you. . ." He followed my gaze to see Gen glaring at me. She instantly smiled and waved when he looked at her. Peter turned back towards me, his jaw clenched.

"What did she say to you?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"She didn't say anything," I stuttered.

"Bullshit."

I opened and closed my mouth, not able to form words. "Y/N, what did Gen say to you?"

"She didn't say anything," I stuttered. I wasn't technically lying. She didn't say anything to me.

His eyes widened when he made the connection. "That note. The note that I found in your notebook the other day. Gen wrote that, didn't she?"

When I didn't answer, his face fell. "She wrote that to you. Why would she write that?"

"You'd know better than I would," I mumbled. I looked up, biting my bottom lip.

The rest of lunch, Peter didn't say anything. He ate his lunch, barely looking at me. I knew he wasn't mad at me. Instead, he was probably wondering how he didn't see what Gen was doing to me. I wanted to say something, to tell him that everything was okay, but I couldn't think of a way to phrase it that would make him feel better.

I bit my lip when I felt Peter reach over and grab my hand. I looked at him as he stood up and left the table. I sighed, my heart sinking into my stomach the farther he walked away. I looked down to see Peter had left a note in my hand.

* * * * *

I didn't see Peter for the rest of the day. I looked for him but didn't find him until I saw him walking to practice when I was walking out to my car. He sent me a smile before disappearing into the boy's locker room.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing my homework. After dinner, I went back upstairs and started slowly getting ready for bed. I took a shower and changed into a pair of soffee shorts and one of Peter's lacrosse t-shirts I stole from him.

I walked out of the bathroom, brushing my hair when my phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey." Peter's voice came softly through the speaker. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about lunch."

"You don't have to say anything," I sighed.

"I wanted to apologize for walking away. Truth is, I went over to talk to Gen."

"You did what?" I stuttered.

"I had to, Y/N. That note. . ." I heard him sigh, my heart breaking. "Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I left you."

"It's okay, Peter." I quickly added, "Thank you for standing up for me."

"I'll always stand up for you, Y/N. You know that."

"I do know that," I smiled.

There was a little silence between us. I sat down on my bed, leaning against the headrest. I was about to say something when he beat me to it.

"So?" He cleared his throat, releasing the sudden tension between us. "I never got your answer."

"What answer?" I sighed as I tucked my knees up to my chest, balancing the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Your answer to the note I gave you at lunch today." When I didn't respond he added, "You read the note. . . Right?"

I couldn't respond.

"Have you read any of them?" He asked, his voice softer than it was before.

I didn't respond again, embarrassed to admit that I never read his notes.

"Do you still have them?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly. "The notes? Do you still have the notes, Y/N?"

"Yes," I said instantly.

"I'm coming over."

"Wait, Peter. . ." But he had already hung up. "Shit."

I paced across my room, nervous for Peter's arrival. I looked at the gift box on my desk that was full of Peter's folded unread notes. Whenever he gave them to me, I instantly put them away, just like I did with Gen's notes.

I didn't do it for the same reason, obviously. Gen's notes were written to insult me, to hurt me. I know Peter would never do anything like that. Peter's notes were written to lift me up, to help me. But I still couldn't bring myself to read them. Before I could wonder why I didn't read them, I heard the door open and the sound footsteps running up the stairs.

I slowly turned around, Peter standing in my doorway. "Where are they?" He asked, his voice soft.

I turned around and pointed at the small box on my desk. I bit my lip as he shut my bedroom door and walked towards my desk. He grabbed the box and put it on the edge of my bed.

I felt guilty as he tossed the lid to the side and stared down at all his notes. He looked up at me, hurt in his eyes.

"You never read them?" He asked, slowly. "Any of them?"

I opened and closed my mouth, unable to form any words.

"Why?" His voice breaking slightly. "Why didn't you read them, Y/N?"

"I. . . I don't know," I said slowly. I turned away and looked down at my feet, tears streaming down my cheeks. I tried to stop the tears when his shoes appeared in front of my bare feet.

Peter reached forward and used his finger to lift my chin. He smiled at me before grabbing my hand and leading me over to my bed, gently sitting me down.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Well, since you didn't read them, I'm going to read them to you."

"Peter," I tried to object.

"Please, Y/N." He looked at me causing my breath to get caught in my throat. I nodded, biting my lip. He smiled as he let go of my hand and reached into the box grabbing one of his notes. I sat on the edge of my bed, the box next to me as Peter stood, reading each one of them to me.

You're smile looked extra bright today.

It was awesome watching you in calc today, dominating that problem. How did you get so smart?

Can't imagine what my life would be like if we hadn't met that day in second grade. And I wouldn't want to know.

Do you remember in seventh grade when I spilled Koolaid on you at lunch and you wore my hoodie all day? I love seeing you in my sweatshirts. You should wear them more.

You're amazing.

Honesty time. The thought of not having you in my life scares me.

What would I do without you?

Jake was staring at you again. Promise me you'll never leave me for a freshman. Promise me you'll never leave me, period.

You're my best friend in the whole world. I wouldn't be okay if I lost you.

Gen is nothing compared to you. I wish she would leave us alone.

If I'm not focused on the game on Saturday, I blame you. You always distract me.

You messed me up at practice. Told you. Your smile blinded me.

You may mess me up, but I love looking into the stands and seeing you nervously biting your nails.

You always know how to make me smile. Without fail.

How are you so beautiful?

Do you even know how much you mean to me? A lot. That's how much.

I love having a best friend as smart as you.

I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

I'm sorry for what Gen has been doing with those notes. (Yes, I know about the other ones. No, I'm not mad at you for not telling me. And yes, I am furious with Gen. I don't want her anywhere near you. Or us.)

He stopped reading them and slowly looked up at me, one note left unread. He lifted it so I could see it and said, "This is the note I gave you at lunch today. You need to read it."

I hesitated before grabbing the note from him. After a moment of hesitation and staring at my name written carefully in Peter's handwriting, I unfolded the note.

I took a shaky breath before reading out loud, "I have a confession to make, Y/N. A secret that I've kept to myself for a long time. Too long."

I looked up at him, scared to keep reading. My mind went all over as I thought about what secret he could have been keeping from me.

"Keep reading, Y/N." He said smiling, slightly smirking, at me.

I took a deep breath before reading, "The truth is Y/N, that I'm. . ."

I stopped reading when my eyes jumped ahead of my reading. I looked up at Peter watching me closely. He continued to smile at me as he walked in front of me, grabbed my hands and made me stand up.

"The truth is Y/N, that I'm in love with you," he recited, finishing the note.

He took the note out of my hands and put it next to the others, without looking away from me. He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him.

Peter looked at our hands, finally looking away from me. "Y/N," he whispered. "I have been in love with you since I knew what love was. In fact, you made me understand what it felt like to be in love. Why do you think I always sit with you at lunch and not my team? Why do you think I would rather have binging marathons with you instead of going to parties on the weekend? Why do you think I'd rather have you stay with me than be home by yourself? Why do you think I follow you around, ready to protect you from anything or anyone that might hurt you?"

"Because you're my best friend?"

Peter sent me a playful glare before quickly replacing the glare with his signature smile. He stepped closer to me, reaching up and cupping my cheek in his hand.

"Because I love you," he whispered.

I held my breath as he started to lean in. I closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to mine. It didn't take me long to start kissing him back. His hand that was holding my cheek moved to the back of my neck, deepening the kiss.

Peter was the first to pull away, leaning his forehead against mine. I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to wrap my head around his notes and his confession.

He leaned away, slowly reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. I smiled as his hand lingered on my cheek.

"So? I never got your answer," he smirked, repeating what he said on the phone before all of this started. I smirked as I stood on my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you too."

[sweeterthankarma]

Writing Tag Game!

I was tagged by @ghostcat3000 💛

Tagging @bensschwartz, @hallo-catfish, @xiangyu, @probablymyalgic, & @johnisntevendead (but no pressure!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

275. How?!? (I write primarily short-ish one-shots, but like, still. How?!?)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

462,072. That seems like both a lot and not much at all.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) California Never Felt Like Home To Me (Until I Had You On the Open Road)

(To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey, 2.1K, Rated G): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779202

It’s summer, and Peter invites Lara Jean onto his family’s vacation to San Francisco a week before they go. She pokes fun at him because it’s so last minute and he’s always forgetting about things until right before they’re about to happen, but then she finds out that he’d only just convinced his parents to let them go alone, and now it’s entirely different.

2) You Are the Best Thing (That’s Ever Been Mine)

(Atypical, Casey Gardner/Izzie Taylor, 5K, Rated T): https://archiveofourown.org/works/25397293

Tori22ferrante requested, “5 times Izzie refers to Casey as ‘her girl’ and 1 time Casey does it for her.”

3) Don't Need a Ring for My Finger, Just Need a Steady Hand to Hold

(Sense8, Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal, 1K, Rated G): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18231296

It’s Wolfgang, observant through Kala’s eyes while he shaves in the bathroom upstairs, who finally urges her to ask Rajan what he’s thinking about. “Marriage,” he responds simply and almost immediately. Nonchalant, he sets down the paper like the word he’d just uttered doesn’t hold the intense amount of weight that it most certainly does.

4) The Morning After (Is Both the Hardest and the Sweetest Part)

(Sense8, Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bodganow/Rajan Rasal, 2K, Rated T): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154799

Thinking of her love and her husband as being the “same” in any sense is strange, and looking towards the bed, seeing them lying close, breathing slow, is even stranger. Kala's stomach churns, both hunger and anxiety, and she wishes she was still asleep, oblivious and unaware of the mess she’s gotten herself into.

5) Give Me a Museum & I'll Fill It With Our Love

(The Good Place, Eleanor Shellstrop/Tahani Al-Jamil, 1.6K, Rated G): https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206125

“Seems chill, I’d bang him,” Eleanor says while staring up at a portrait of an eighteenth century, heavily bearded man. “Eleanor, please, I’m trying to educate you,” Tahani says, smoothing her dress and giving her a pointed look. Eleanor smiles up at her, bright and innocent, and it’s all softness underneath Tahani’s irritated facade when she meets the gaze of those blue eyes.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably this canon-adjacent Wyndolls fic, It's Lonely Where You Are (Come Back Down; I Won't Tell Them Your Name) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/16163222)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I write so much fluff...but something about the softness of Even & Isak in Shimmery & Golden (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531607) and Come Run Your Hands Through My Hair (Cause That's Why It's There) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28786659) live rent free in my mind, as the kids say.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! My Kind of Party is basically just horny crack treated seriously, and I had so much fun basically throwing all caution to the wind while writing it. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690400)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

LOL yes. Clearly. Lots of kinds. Usually the kind that ends up hopelessly romantic or at least with the tiniest bit of feelings, no matter how much I’m trying to avoid that for the sake of angst or pure horniness.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! If anyone ever sees that happen, please report it and let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! The Morning After (Is Both the Hardest and the Sweetest Part) has been translated into Russian, which is so cool! Here’s the link to the original-- https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154799 -- and the translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522618.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! @bensschwartz and I wrote a sweet, angsty little Iggymartin thing, I’ll Be Scared (So By the Time You Wake I’ll Be Brave): https://archiveofourown.org/works/32370229

13. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I hate to say it...but Second Curse, Worse Than the First (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378377/chapters/30639954). The Wynonna Earp fandom has since moved on from the plot of season 2, and so have I. Also, most of the Wyndolls shippers have seemed to move on overall, which won’t stop me from still writing them, but probably just from writing this particular fic. And also, if I’m honest? I have no idea where this fic was even going to go. I did not plan it out at all

14. What are your writing strengths?

Diving into character’s feelings. Details. Feeling the scene deeply as I write it.

15. What are your writing weaknesses?

Diving too much into a character’s feelings so that I tell rather than show. Unintentional repetition. Feeling the scene so much that I don’t approach it from a writing standpoint, and then it gets muddled; I know what I’m trying to say, but everyone who reads it gets bits and pieces.

16. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love to throw it into my Skam, Sense8, and BTS fics-- especially for Maxel!-- but I feel like I’m incorrect 99% of the time with my translations. Google Translate can only get me so far. I accept that fate.

17. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sonny with a Chance, in like, 2009. I don’t have any of the fic anymore, but it existed.

18. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s so hard to choose, but Drugs & Money (I Can Hear the Birds Sing) is a SKAM fic I was sure people were going to eat up, and it didn’t get as much attention as I expected. It’s a fun one for sure, and though I don’t know what more I could say in this AU, sometimes I consider jumping back into this verse for a minute just to see what else this version of Evak is up to. Definitely  more crime. https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006290

[retvenkos]

heart pt. 2 // john ambrose mcclaren

To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You - One-Sided John Ambrose McClaren x Lara Jean, One-Sided John Ambrose McClaren x Reader, slight fluff, slight angst

requested

Summary: For one moment, you eyes lingered on your phone. John Ambrose had gone to hang out with Lara Jean and a few old friends at the old treehouse they used to haunt in their youth. He had been nervous about it for days prior, and you had joking told him to text you and S.O.S. if he needed an out. You were almost certain he wasn’t going to take you up of your offer, but for the last hour you had the inexplicable feeling that he would. What was it? Intuition? Desire?

pt. 1

Part of you wanted to pull away from John Ambrose McClaren the moment he expressed that his heart did not belong to you. It was the sensible part of you, perhaps - the part of you that was self preserving and knew that nothing good could come from lingering near a boy who had the potential to break your heart into dozens of tiny pieces. But, another part of you - evidently, the more persuasive part - begged you to stay by his side, despite what would come.

You hadn’t known Lara Jean Covey for a long time. You no longer went to school with her or even lived nearby. You hadn’t seen her since sixth grade, when she and John were attached at the hip. You had no idea what she was like, but some nights, you would stay up late, concocting stories about what she was like.

You figured she was a cheerleader or some athletic type. Who else had the confidence to send a love letter to a boy she hadn’t seen in literal years? 

Yes. You were sure of it. Lara Jean Covey was the complete opposite of your John Ambrose, and because of that, their relationship could only progress in one of who ways:

1. John Ambrose meets her, realizes how much she had changed, and is immediately shocked. Being the gentleman that he is, he’d try to disregard how different she is from the last time they had spoken. Things would go badly as they tried and failed to reconnect, and they would eventually part ways, John disappointed at getting his hopes up. You would console him while he was an emotional wreck, saying he was too good for her, anyway, and you would mean it more than he understood. OR,

2. The two meet and it’s the perfect combination of opposites attracting and having enough history and vague similar interests to sustain the perfect relationship. John Ambrose would be head over heels for the girl who had been an old friend, once, and a new love interest, now. They would move fast, and eventually you would be left giving him recommendations for date spots and giving him pep talks. You’d always be at his side, but farther away now that he had someone else to fill his days.

Was it wrong for you to prefer the former?

Not that you wanted John Ambrose to be heartbroken. You knew what it felt like to get your hopes up for nothing and wouldn’t wish it on him for a moment. But would you be able to stomach the two of them together, when push came to shove? Would you be able to drift away from John Ambrose, knowing it was for your love of him, that you held him at bay?

You sat on your floor with a notebook open in front of you, waiting to be filled, but found yourself unwilling to create anything on the blank page. You sighed and popped in your headphones, turning up the music so as to drown out the conflicting voices in your head.

For one moment, you eyes lingered on your phone. John Ambrose had gone to hang out with Lara Jean and a few old friends at the old treehouse they used to haunt in their youth. He had been nervous about it for days prior, and you had joking told him to text you and S.O.S. if he needed an out. You were almost certain he wasn’t going to take you up of your offer, but for the last hour you had the inexplicable feeling that he would. What was it? Intuition? Desire?

You sighed at your hopelessness and turned back to your empty page.

You worked, your head bobbing to the music only you could properly hear, your face settled in a concentrated sort of frown, and when someone knocked on your bedroom door, you didn’t hear them.

Knock knock.

You erased what you had just put down on the page, twirling the pencil in your hand like a baton.

Knock knock.

You smiled as one of your favorite songs came on, reminding you of memories with John Ambrose - walking to the mall in the summer because neither of you had a car and wandering through the stores, not having enough money to buy anything of value. You would always end up at the vending machines at some point, and John always seemed to have just enough quarters in his pockets to get you both something without having to break the single, crumpled dollar bill he had with him. The summer’s top 100 always seemed to play on loop, there, and while the songs were synthetic pop, and not always to your taste, it reminded you of him.

Bing!

The sound of your phone cut through the music, catching your attention and pulling you back to the present. You stretched to reach your phone and dragged it back to you, unlocking it with practiced ease.

from: johnny (12:04 p.m.) S.O.S.

You immediately stood up, disregarding your notebook on the floor as you snapped to attention. Looking for a pair of shoes you could slip on, you typed out a next.

to: johnny where r u?

Bing! He was quick to answer you back.

from: johnny Outside your door.

You pulled out your earbuds and unlocked your door, swinging it open.

John Ambrose stood on the other side of your doorframe, his hands holding his phone tightly. He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “I see you got my text.”

“What’s wrong?”

You allowed him in and he sat in your desk chair, careful to avoid stepping on your current project that lay abandoned on the floor. He was already comfortable in your space, and if it weren’t for the look on his face, your mind would have dwelled on that thought.

“How was the treehouse?” You tried again, and you saw him stiffen at the comment.

John Ambrose opened his mouth, but hesitated before speaking, as though trying to find the right sentiment. “Eventful,” he eventually said.

Oh?

One of your eyebrows shot up and he sighed. You knew the feeling. Usually it was you who had a complete lack of words for what happened in the world around you, but this time, it was him. It was puzzling, really.

John Ambrose McClaren always seemed to understand everything - it was his super power, really. There was no situation too dificult, no problem beyond comprehension. John could figure everything out - he always had. When you didn’t understand it, he did. That had always been part of your dynamic - there was nothing that the two of your couldn’t sleuth when given the time and proper motivation.

But matters of the heart were never quite so simple as everything else. You knew that better than anything. Sometimes, there was no clear answer.

John averted his eyes, turning his body to the opposite wall, trying again. “Lara Jean apparently has a boyfriend.”

“What?”

“And old friend, too - Peter Kavinsky.”

You blinked furiously, your head shaking back and forth. After a moment, you moved to better see John’s face, to gauge his reaction to finding out. 

He was staring at your wall, blankly, his eyes seeing right through the pictures you had put up, there, most of them containing the two of you in various stages of your lives. You wondered what he was thinking, but he was in his own world, now, one where he probably relived every moment he had spent misreading signals from the girl he had always had a crush on. He had been convinced that she liked him back - how could he have gotten it so wrong?

“I’m sorry.” On instinct, you walked over to him and sat down of the ground next to his chair, resting your head against his knee.

For a minute or so, he was quiet. When he eventually spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. “I thought I had a chance, y’know?”

You nodded and hugged his calves, the only part of his that you could easily reach for your place on the ground. You hoped it conveyed the same sweetness as an actual embrace, something that could comfort him they way he had always comforted you.

“Why would she send me that letter if she was already involved with Kavinsky?” He shook his head, as though trying to clear it of cobwebs so that he might be able to understand. “Why even write it?”

He asked valid questions - ones you didn’t know the answer to.

“Even if she thought I would never receive it, why address it to me? Why write something like that?”

Your mind went back to the writing that Lara Jean had left on that love letter to John Ambrose. You considered her words - so sincere, so brave. They were really quite puzzling, especially for not having meant them. But... no... She had to mean it. Otherwise, why write it? What did she have to gain from making love letters that didn’t mean anything? From what you had heard, Lara Jean only had a lot to lose - a boyfriend and now, an old friend.

But, if that letter did mean something, why send it now? What did she have to gain by making John Ambrose McClaren believe that he had a chance with her?

Lara Jean was only losing, in the end.

You knew that John Ambrose was worth losing everything, for. Did she?

“Feelings aren’t always rational, I guess.” You spoke, you eyes ahead, looking at the photos of your life, with John Ambrose always at your side. You didn’t notice him looking at you, then, and if you had, it would have only given more stock to your words. “Loving the people you do doesn’t always make sense.”

“You sound as though your talking from experience, (Y/n).”

You looked at John Ambrose, gazing deep into his eyes; you could see everything you loved about in reflected in their depths - his compassion, his cleverness, his talent, his love. You smiled, dipping your head in a nod, as if allowing him in on one of your best kept secrets. 

“Yeah, I am.”

[tulipfarm]

My review of To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

i will not include spoilers from the book, for those of you who haven’t read the series. but just know, the book was soooo much better. and you should read it!

strongest aspects

the cinematography! it’s always so pretty and stunning. i really had to play some scenes back just to appreciate the beauty. and after watching the movie, i was so excited to see all the gifsets many talented content creators would create for this movie

lana’s chemistry with both noah and jordan. like, damn. relax??? they don’t make it easy for me to choose. i’m covinksy trash but the gazes from john ambrose??? i swoon!

of course, the honorable mention to lara jean’s style (as always). no one can beat it. everyone else can go home.

weakest aspects

the plot. i was afraid this would happen. it’s missing a lot of key points from the book and im not even sure what was the driving force. the movie felt rushed and the build up was choppy. kind of anticlimactic, compared to the book. i was disappointed (but regardless, i still loved watching it. must a movie be good for it to be enjoyable?)

character development outside of lara jean. i wanted more of kitty. more of chris. more of lucas. i feel like they had more purpose in tatbilb 1, but now? they’re just kinda there? but there was some slight development with gen, i guess

john ambrose & peter kavinsky. i’m not gonna say much, but john ambrose was supposed to be a much bigger character than he was in the movie. a bigger storyline. a bigger impact. a bigger click. nothing. nada. and peter? he’s great, but so, how do i say this? one-dimensional? we didn’t see many layers to him. not like we did in the first film. where was the jealousy?? barely any!!!

the dialogue. i mean, there are so many great quotes from the book that i was just dying to hear, and then, they just... didn’t say them!! don’t get me wrong, the script was cute and all, but i so badly wanted those iconic lines. ya know? for example: “let’s do it fucking for real, lara jean. let’s go all in. no more contract. no more safety net.” how could they miss THAT?

but to end on a high note: my favorite parts!

jordan fisher as john ambrose is a DREAM. whoever casted him is a genius! a goddamn genius!

lara jean and peter’s dates with the wish-making laterns and at the carnival were done so beautifully. i’m reblogging every gifset.

john ambrose + lara jean sitting together at the piano as he plays gave me all the feelings!! i had to replay that scene three times just to 1) watch her, then 2) watch him, and finally 3) watch both of them at once. yeah. it was absolutely necessary.

the metaphor of the snow globe, “glitter everywhere” and the scene of john ambrose and lara jean kissing as the snow falls. wow.

peter constantly kissing lara jean’s face, neck, lips, whatever, like the annoying lovesick boyfriend he is. god, i feel so single. stop it.

that scene where peter had to dissect an octopus but he was so grossed out, so lara jean said she’d do it. because, same. i could never.

after lara jean and peter’s first date, she closed the door and peter had a little “hell yeah!” moment. that was cute. give me more!

overall, tatbilb 1 still remains my favorite movie by far, and psisly, in my opinion, just wasn’t as great. but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy it. or that i wouldn’t rewatch it. because i would. i totally would.

[moonysbookblr]

Review:To All the Boys I've Loved Before

This was the one book I absolutely had to read after TATBILB. I even broke my one-novel-at-a-time rule for it. And let me just start it off by saying I'd give it 4/5 stars. And if you don't want any spoilers, you should stop reading now( although I won't give any related to plot, only related to the experience).

When I started the book, I could say with absolute certainty that once again, the book was better than the movie. But as we progressed further, it got more and more confusing. Because while the book version was a lot more detailed and not rushed, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that most of the iconic scenes in the movie weren't in it. Not even close. The one thing where the book won my heart was how it expressed the Covey's. Just one chapter into the book, you fall in love with the family. And you start wishing that you were LJ's or Margot's or Kitty's friend. Just to get to meet this family and see their house. There was such beautiful character expression that it made me fall in love.

But then, the one person that I was desperate to fall in love with, I didn't. Peter Kavinsky. While the movie Peter was our dream boy, the book Peter was a work in progress. But that's the thing. Even at the end, I didn't really see that work ever getting completed. And it seemed maybe Lara really did see him through dreamy eyes. Or she just really wanted to forgive him.

But maybe this is just me not really accepting change. And afterall, it is a trilogy.

But all in all, it was an amazing read. A consuming one. The kind that makes you feel like you're in that world. And I'm sure I'll be going through a withdrawal in the next week.

Ps. Lara Jean's handwriting is goals.

[erikalovesss]

she literally acts like me i relate to her on a deeply personal level.. i just don’t have her circumstances and i’m no longer in high school and i don’t have a cute jock and i’m not cute and i don’t have her amazing style and i don’t have sisters who live w me who can put me back together and... and and.... ughhh i’m just really sad i’m not lara jean GODDAMMIT!!! but it’s annoying cause i AM lara jean .. we are one...

Hey! Kavinsky!

What?

Let’s do this.

[sweetbuckybarnes]

Break my heart, Covey

Pairings: Lara Jean Song-Covey + Peter Kavinsky

Summary: Sort of, the getting back together scene that we all wanted to see.

Lara Jean had just told him, that she loved him - if it was possible, he would be floating on a hypothetical cloud (like in the romcoms that Lara Jean loves so much). He kissed her with as much love as he could give to her though his multiple kisses. Despite them being broken up, he still wanted to make sure that she would be getting home ok how that it has begun to snow.

When they'd pulled away, Peter rests his hand delicately on her cheek, looking into her eyes with his 'upgraded heart eyes' that Greg and Trevor had mocked him about. "Why did you come out? Isn't the party still happening?" He asked his other arm wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly to his body.

"I was going to go looking for you," she admits. He felt one of her hands that were wrapped around his neck move up into his hair and fiddled with the strands she found there. Gen had never played with his hair the entire they were together - Lara Jean was always playing with his hair, it made him so blissed out that he had fallen asleep on her a few times.

He gives her a smile, then planting a soft and loving kiss on her forehead. He had noticed her dress the moment she came rushing out of the front door of Belleview. "Let me have a look at you, Lara Jean," 

Peter takes her hand and raises it - a signal that she should twirl around. The tulle layers lifted when she spun around in a small circle. "Beautiful," he tells her, as the front door opened once more. A sweet older lady walked out.

"Lara Jean," she starts, before seeing the young woman in question in the arms of a young man who loves her with every fibre of his being. "I presume that this is your Peter," she gently asks, making Lara Jean looking up at Peter.

Peter gives her a hopeful smile. 'Your Peter'? Lara Jean's Peter, like how when Lara Jean met his grandma for the first time - she called her Peter's Laura Jean, despite the mispronunciation it made butterflies flutter. Were they back together? He could only hope and wish - wish on every four-leaf clover he could find; every shooting star that he sees, every wishbone he'd break and win; every birthday candle, eyelash and dandelion he would ever blow out or away. He would always be her Peter, a very large portion of his heart would always belong to her, he could easily see himself spending the rest of his life with her - he would be broke if she never took him back.

She smiled back at him, moving closer into his arms (even though there wasn't much room left to snuggle into), and then said, "Yeah, this is my Peter," Lara Jean almost echoed, and Peter felt his heart skyrocket. He had Lara Jean back! At this moment in time, he doesn't think he could be happier.

"I'm glad you two worked it out," she smiled, resting a hand on Lara Jean's shoulder. "Keep the dress, sweetheart, she tells Lara Jean, before going back inside.

Lara Jean smiles at the door, and turned back around to Peter - who asked her, "Who's that?"

"That's Stormy," Lara Jean told him, he'd hear a few stories about the sweet woman since Lara Jean started volunteering there. "It's John Ambrose's grandmother," she tells him and watches his eyebrows skyrocket into his hairline.

"Wow, I must admit she's doing well for her age," Peter says, pulling Lara Jean into his chest as she nuzzles her head into the said chest - he doesn't know why she does this, but it's the most adorable thing to him.

His girlfriend nods in his chest, then Peter's head came down to rest on top of hers. A gentle sigh, he feels completely at home in her arms. Lara Jean had told him that her 'dream man' was Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables. Because of her, he'd been reading the series, and was about to start Anne of Windy Poplars - but one thing that the character said, stuck with him.

'There would never be anyone for me but you'.